#she is just verry tiny

[aniflowers]

Little something I drew for @winterpower98 ‘s Cursed AU. 

This was a stupid little idea that was only meant to be 2 pictures! But somehow it turned into a 5 picture mini comic-thing that took me a month to finish, becouse I prograstinated (and becouse I suck at drawing characters phisicaly interact xD)

These are based on THIS Tiger Demon incident (first 3 pictures), and chapter 3 of @winterpower98 ‘s fanfic “Demon sounds and Monkey noices” .

(Oh, and I hope you don’t mind that I kind of redraw that one panel from your comic, winter? I normaly ask first before doing that...but this time around I kind of forgot >.<)

Gona make a secound post with the drawings minus the speach bubbles, since the drawings are traditional and the text was added digitaly using ibisPaint X 

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid au #cursed au #monkie kid cursed au #chaos trio #monkie kid yin #monkie kid jin #monkie kid macaque #lmk macaque #monkie kid mei #yes she is here too #she is just verry tiny #and also unconcious #fanart #winterpower98

[httpiastri]

I need an opinion on a thought that’s been brewing and as saviour of the Paul girlies i think you may be the only one for the job…

Yeah ima just spit it out : Paul Aron size kink

I could leave it there however i simply do not want to I have too many thoughts, i mean obviously First his hands like oh my god??? How FUCKING TALL he is, how fucking built, also his back omg it is so big and I am SO attracted to it like honestly i could take the best nap of my life on there!!!!!! WEARING HOS CLOTHES!!!!!! And he just feels all protective and territorial because he never realised how much smaller than him you were till he sees you wearing his clothes making them look huge!!!! Him realising that it’s making him feel some kinda way iykwim cause he’s literally so much bigger and stronger, and not only is he bigger and stronger but also you trust him so fully anyway (please dont feel any pressure to respond if you dont wanna, and verry sorry about my English lol)

bestie you’re doing god’s work 🙏 thank you SO much for this oh my god. my brain stopped working for quite some time because i loved this too much. i love you, whoever you are <3<3

(headcanons are under the cut because yes, i went a little overboard. but as i said, i loved this too much......guys pls keep the paul asks incoming, they're literally making my days)

(oh and 18+ below. 😁)

– when he starts to realize how big his hands look on you, he won't be able to keep them away from you. he's always got a hand on your body.

– he's driving? a hand on your thigh. you're in public? a hand wrapped around your waist. out with friends? your hand is intertwined with his, no questions asked.

– when holding your hands, he's so surprised every time. he forgets that your hands are that small and the way that his fingers fill the gaps between yours makes him feel so special.

– he loves the way it looks when his hands wrap around the inside of your thighs, and how easy it is for him to pry your legs apart. his palms cover up most of your skin, fingers fitting right along your curves and folds.

– he loves holding both of your wrists in just one of his hands above your head as the other palms your bare ribs. he loves wrapping a hand around your neck, his thumb brushing up and down the front of your throat, feeling your pulse and breaths under his finger. he loves the way he can grab so much of your hair in just one hand.

– he loves using his hands and fingers to rile you up, to pleasure you, to make you feel so so good.

– the first time he saw you wearing his clothes, he almost combusted. his eyes widened so big you thought they would pop out of their sockets…

– it made him realize just how much bigger he is. like, he knew he was tall, but is the difference really THIS big? when he sees you wearing that hoodie of his that's been getting kind of tight recently when he's been putting in some extra work in he gym, and it's so long on you it meets the middle of your thighs, he's swept off his feet. he almost doesn't believe it.

– of course, after that, he thinks he's going to be a little sneaky about it and 'forget' clothes at your place every once in a while. the first time it happens, you text him like "hey, your sweater is here, do you want me to bring it over?" but he tells you it's no stress and that you can keep it for a while… and it makes you suspicious at first, until you realize what he's doing.

– and of course, you can't help but give in to the temptation. you do want to wear his clothes, too, after all. so the next time he comes over, you're wearing said sweatshirt, and his jaw practically drops to the floor when you open the door for him and you're looking up at him with those sweet, innocent eyes.

– so after that, it becomes a habit. he's got a bunch of clothes at your place, and you love wearing them. and when he wears a shirt he's seen you wear, he always feels a bit special. "she looked so tiny in this… but it fits me so well…"

– he gets so protective in some way, because he suddenly sees you as someone so small and in need of protection. he never wants anything or anyone to bother his sweet little baby ever again.

– and it's not just shirts, but also sweatpants and most other clothes too. whenever you're out and you 'forget' to bring a jacket of your own, he always offers you his. and you always practically drown in the material, making his heart flutter so hard.

– i also think he would freak out if you wore his boxers… (in a good way)

– he would get so so riled up if you wore his clothes but nothing underneath. like a long hoodie but with no pants, or a white t-shirt without a bra…

– he would not survive for long.

– oh and he loves to fuck you in his clothes. but that's a story for another time. :)

– istg his chest muscles are thicker than the pillows i sleep on…

– anyway

– naps on him would be so good. idk about you all but i love sleeping on hard mattresses 🤭

– he would love having you lie on him. your cheek pressed to his big chest, skin on skin, your soft breath on his neck making him feel so warm inside. feeling his chest rising and lowering as he breathes, your fingers absentmindedly drawing little figures into his skin.

– or why not lie on his back? his shoulders are so broad and he's so tall that most of your body would fit on his back. very cozy.

– and oh my god, giving him back massages. jesus christ, he would go crazy.

– your little hands, your pretty little fingers brushing against his skin. pressing into his muscles, massaging away any knots. feeling the bumps of his spine, the folds of his shoulder blades, every definition of a muscle. he doesn't understand how your small hands can bring him so much pleasure, but he's putty in your hands immediately.

– just standing next to him is so shocking. like, race car drivers are supposed to be short, what are you doing? who allowed this?

– he towers over you and he always finds it so cute. he loves how you have to get into your tippy toes and pull his face down to be able to kiss him, and the way he can pretend to ignore you and stay out of reach just to annoy you. he loves teasing you (in a lot of ways-) and it's just too easy for him to get a rise out of you when using your size difference.

– and even something as simple as asking him to get that ingredient from the top shelf because you can't reach makes him so smug and cocky. you needing his help and him providing it will never fail to make his day.

– he loves to rest his chin on top of your head. when you're out with friends, when he comes up behind you as you're cooking dinner, any time and any place. especially when also wrapping his big, muscular arms around you from behind, especially when they're around your neck like in the last pic.

– oh, to have you trapped underneath him. he loves hovering over you and caging you between his arms. he loves watching you squirm as he's holding your wrists above your head with one hand, the other running up and down your ribs to pull out shivers and shudders by his touch.

– and the way his hand practically covers up your entire side, the way your frame is so small compared to his… it makes him so impressed because despite how little you are in comparison, you still trust him so deeply?

– he could literally break your neck or femur or whatever bone with his bare hands but here you are, batting your eyes up at him like he's the only man in the world, so sure that he would never do anything to hurt you. and it makes him freak out a bit, but he's also so proud.

– and despite the size difference, you still take him so well? it makes him unbelievably hot.

#paul aron #hitech gp #f2 #prema racing #mercedes junior team #written by someone who's definitely small enough to experience these things with him #asks! #anon! #fluff #smut #suggestive #paul thoughts

[rose-pearls]

Mini Hangman

Summary: it's your sons first birthday party and you dress him up in the same uniform as Jake making him melt, also we learn who his favourite is off the squad.

Jake was waiting for you to come downstairs, everything was ready for your sons first birthday but you had a surprise for him and went upstairs with the baby.

“Sweetheart, are you coming? The others are going to be there any minute now!”, probably not but Jake was far too curious, wanting to know what his wife was doing.

“Just a minute!”, Jake shakes his head while looking up the stairs hoping to see his wife and son appear. And just like she said a minute hears her footsteps.

“Close your eyes!”, she seems to be far too cheerful, and Jake is doubting if he should do it.

“Common Jake, for me.”, he sighs in defeat and closes his eyes while hearing her footsteps come down and the babbling of his son.

“Alright open your eyes Handsome.”, he doesn’t know what to expect but seeing his son in a tiny uniform that looked just like his was not it.

It was just like his, with short sleeves and a beige color, this one had a little name tag with Hangman written on it and it looked adorable. The mini sunglasses sealed the look as his son started happily babbling again at the sight of his father making grabby hands towards him.

“Well, don’t you look handsome.”, he takes his son in his arms and can’t help the large grin that appears on his face at the sight of his son dressed like that with his F-18 toy that he had received from Bob.

“Looks just like you.”, Jake brings his wife closer and kisses her on the lips feeling her smile against his and enjoys the feeling of having his wife and son in his arms.

“You are a little minx, where did you find this.”, she lets out a laugh before looking at her son.

“A friend found it and she managed to get your callsign written on it.”, he smiles at his son playing with his little plane and looks back at his wife.

“I love it, now we just need to find you a uniform, love.”, she laughs and Jake smirks at her.

“We don’t need to, seeing you in uniform is the best thing I can ask for.”

“You like me in uniform?”, he has a teasing grin on his face, knowing full well that his wife loves a man in uniform.

“I think it’s your second-best look.”, she nods seriously, and Jake looks at her offended.

“My second-best look? What is my best look then?”, a small blush appears on her cheeks before she brings Jake closer to her.

“When you’re naked.”, Jake feels that sentence going straight down and has to keep himself from taking her up to the bedroom, while she smirks at him.

“There is a child here how dare you!”, they both start to laugh at their son’s face and before they can say anything the doorbell rings.

Jake goes straight to the door wanting to show the squad how his son was dressed like.

“I hope you have cake, because - ”, Rooster is stopped in his rant when he looks at the kid and he seems in shock.

“Aren’t you adorable?”, Bob seems to have recovered quickly as he starts talking to Evan with a baby voice and Evan seems to enjoy it verry much, babbling back.

“I have to say when he looks like that you can see he takes after his mother.”, Rooster has a cheeky grin on his face but Bob elbows him in the chest which makes Jake laugh.

The rest of the Dagger Squad arrives, and the same reactions follow, with Phoenix telling him he needs to take him with him to base to see Cyclone’s reaction.

Maverick and Penny are last, and they also seem to have fallen for the mini aviator’s charm.

“I have a picture of Rooster that looks just like him! I should find it.”, Rooster starts to argue from his place at the barbecue, but everyone quickly shushes him telling Maverick they need the pictures.

“You want to go see your Godfather?”, Evan starts babbling happily and Jake brings him over to Rooster who looks happy to take him in his arms.

“Hey little man, has been quite some time.”, Evan starts to touch Rooster’s face and the pilot looks glad to have the child happy.

“I have an important question to ask you, who is your favorite here?”, he tries to say it quietly, but everyone hears him and starts arguing with Rooster, saying there were no favorites.

“Bob!”, Jake is in shock, it’s his sons first word and as he looks next to him his wife also seems to not believe it, but a big smile appears on her face.

“You said your first word little man!”, Evan starts clapping in his hands before starting to chant Bob’s name.

“Bob, Bob, Bob”, the WSO in question looks to be in shock until an emotional smile comes on his face.

“Of course, he is your favorite, not the one who is your godfather.”, Rooster tries to look mad but the large grin on his face says otherwise as he gives Evan to Bob.

“Hey buddy, you’re my favorite too you know, the others are far too loud.”, everyone starts to argue at Bob’s statement, but the WSO just laughs with Evan joining. 

The baby looks a bit tired and starts rubbing his eyes. Jake just wants to pick him up and cuddle him, but he stays in Bob’s arms.

“Bob.”, it’s a soft happy whisper from the baby and everyone looks at each other with teary smiles at how adorable it is.

Even though his son has chosen Bob as his first word, Jake knows he will always be his number one, after all he is dad.

#jake hangman x reader #hangman fanfiction #hangman x you #hangman x y/n #jake hangman seresin #top gun x reader

[cryptidcryptic]

@melonkka aH! But that’s an equally cool concept too 🥹 the ascended vampire king is so beautiful and charming, a proper delicate elf, who gives to charity and opens orphanages, who could possibly believe the sweet saviour of bg could be anything but simply the most ethereal elf imaginable. Of course he couldn’t the one behind a few nobles vanishing at his party’s! Of course not!

No no! That dark consort always glaring at any who gets too close?! That must be a harpy! Bewitching the heart of the generous lord Ancunin! AA has people trying to stage interventions for him at every opportunity! It’s all fun and games until someone hires monster hunters for his consort.

AA: now, tell me. What did you do

Peasant fanboy: I may have…a tiny bit…called monster hunters for your bride

AA: HOW do we ‘a little bit’ summon monster Hunters on a person?

Peasant fanboy 2: she’s scary sir!

Fanboy 2: definitely a harpie in disguise!

AA: no, I’m scary, jeheira is scary, Halsin three mugs of ale deep is scary. And to my knowledge you’ve managed to avoid calling the monster hunters on us.

AA: i mean really, a harpie? My treasure is a verry many things, cold blooded, manipulative, deliciously monstrous, but she is not a harpie. Disgusting shrieking creatures. I should kill you just by the principle of comparison alone.

AA: but I won’t. You should be thankful she found it in her heart to forgive you.

Consort, kicking the dead bodies of the monster hunters under a table: all is forgiven, I can’t be angry at you for looking out for my lord.

She got them in the back with a cross bow as they walked out the audience chamber😪

#sorry this took a while I just couldn’t get it right 🥹💞 but I was thinking about it! #I love this idea so much!! it’s so much fun xd #graceful elf man being held hostage by a gith but it’s just a man and his wife on a date 😪 #ascended astarion x tav #ascended astarion #ur ideas are always so big brain 🥹

[star-luvrx]

I LOVE ART!

please forgive my poor articulation.but i need to scream this from the rooftops!!

art is so amazing and i mean all art; painting, photography, sculpting, music, everything! just creating!!! lets not mention my hate for ai 'art' It is so important to me and ive been having these conversations recently about what you love about art what about it gives you passon and drive.

my friend loves how you tell something with a piece and what you can tell, art can have so much meaning and story behind it and it can say so much! and i think it is amazing and that passion you can see in peoples art from realism to contemporary right now she is painting a large canvas and shes useing this guy from jojos but hes like a cyborg and i think he gets cut in half now this i simportant, so she i susing him to convey life and showing your true self so his guts and flesh are spilling out of him but you an also see the metal in him and the contrast is great and its like this brutal thing but the backround is soft, and its like UGH AMAZING! anyway her art teacher finds passion in the prosess of art, and how you can use things,

Personally i love being able to captue (photoraphy) the small things and just the reality of something and its not always nice but its still is soo important to me, like for example if you were on some high mountian landscape that is itself is beautiful but then take a look at your feet and the small thnigs around you that just make this all work, the beauty in small things drives me crazy! in a good way! or like when your high up CN tower for example (expessaly at night) you can see all the lights and working of this big city machine and this machine needs ann these small pecies to work and function but as an indivual you feel so insignifigant, you can see all these little lights and every one is a story a life but then there is just a line where there is no more lights because that where the human life stops, and to make it better there are still lights in the sky the stars I LOVE THE STARS!!! and it would be such a heartwrenching scene if you could ACTUALLY SEE the stars above the city lights but you cant because poloution of all kinds.... but the sight, its so beautiful i love it i could sit there and watch all the lights move for hours. and i feel this way about soo many things! you in a music consert/festival, the falls i love it all.

ANOTHER THING! we were saying these conversations are so intresting and smart and have DEPTH! they are smart conversations, she is verry smart academically inclined but she still has the art 'side' in her and while they do conflict and have battle they are important to one another and can complement eachother beautifuly! im not verry academicly smart so please forgive my poor articulation. but we can still have these conversations with DEPTH! and we were saying that you just couldent have these important, smart conversations with some people (teachers in this context) for example our bio teacher you coud have these amazing conversations about art but he has that arty part of his brain! he is passionite and loves bio but he also loves music! and this can apply to sevral other of our intelectual teachers and students!! so many smart and science geard people have a arty side to them and they are all diffrent!! not just science people ,but science always seem sto be he opposeing side to art hence my stance. honestly science is beauty too like all these tiny tiny things working moving to make one part of one thing so on and so forth just to make one person function. LOVE IT!

art can tell you horrors, beauty and nothing but in a way that says somethting too.

#how am i even meant to tag this #rant? #is this a rant #screaming into the void #I just need this out of my system #art #i love art #all art #rant post #personal rant

[richardsphere]

Rwby Catchup V8E4 (last one for the day probably)

Back into the prison. Qrow’s going full batman-level brooding. (but then, if I had a cursed soul i would too) Looks like they might be setting both Harriet and Wolfboy (do i know his name? I feel i probably should by now) up for “benevolent treason”. I hope so, they are the least boring members of the Ops. Chasescene, Grapplinghook the leg of the monster that has previously shown the ability to liquidise its own body at will. it definitly wont just shapeshift its leg out of constriction. High Fives! And Jaune instantly regrets it Aura is strangely inconsistent isnt it? There are episodes where Jaune, noted haver of an alledgedly above-average amount goes down in 1 hit, and then theres this scene where Ren leaves no surface un-facesmashed without ever feeling anything. Shield-enade turns into a ramp. (thats cool, did i mention how i like the creativity in their kits yet? I think i spend too much time criticising the often terribly flawed story but its moments like these that remind me why i stick around) And we lost Oscar. I thought Weiss had manners, but seeing as her first instinct on greeting her brother is to point a deadly weapon at his neck i seem to be mistaken. Maybe your brother would like you more if you didnt do that. I think that might’ve genuinely been Whitleys way of asking “how can I help”, and if it is that way. Man is Weiss being a bitch here telling him to “go to his room”. Like you do not live here and havent for years and his life is falling apart around the boy. JYR are stuck in the tundra without phones. (which brings me on a tangent, are their phones connected to the local Transit Tower in atlas? the one controlled by Ironwood? This seems like a gross oversight of our Dear Dictator.) Oh are they trying to play Ren’s single-minded obsession at the cost of politeness as an Ironwood Parrallel? not really working for me but i can respect the attempt. Ren is right that they werent ready, but then no one is ready for the apocalypse. and also Is Ren still on this “blind faith in authorities” thing? I thought we got over that with Ozpin, i get that you acknowledge that Team Goodguy doesnt know what its doing but newsflash No one in this universe has ever known what they were doing, Even the gods were only fucking around to see what they would find out with their MagiScienceproject.  Oscar wakes up, ozpin assures him everything will be fine. (the most recent in his ever-going string of increasingly unbelievable deceptions.) Salem used Torturebeam its visually stunning, but not verry effective. Cinder stepping closer and closer to her eventual betrayal, “without you I am nothing”. Now that is the second time we have heard her say that. Probably implies she may be about to get an actual backstory. If only the show had planted these seeds earlier i might even be bothered to care. Cinder doenst think Salem knows Team Goodguy is going to go after the satelite. Cinder is an idiot. Salem has admitted that the entire atlas arc is about setting the stage for her final act. Salem probably wants the satelite up in space because it leads to Operation 100 kuroyuri’s at once as established in V7E2. Neo is going to exit the story for a bit and emerald is taking the stage again instead.  “yeah ruby” followed by a tiny moment of jaune looking around, not confused but as if he’s putting dots together. This is the scene where the “years waiting for this” start.

#rwby

[queen-bee-annon]

Flower Garden

=============================A Miruko x female reader

Warnings: attempt fluff

=============================Summary: While patrolling after a fight with a villain Miruko finds a path that looks newly used, To make sure it's not another villain she follows the trail, although she didn't expect what was to come. She also figured out that she should never mess with another woman's flower bed.

=====================

As the sun was close to start going down Miruko is finishing up with getting a villan into custody.

"Hello ma'am! May we ask you a few questions on your latest victory agents this Villian?"

Some random reporter shoved her microphone into Miruko's face, other members of different press companies pointing their attention to the Hopping Hero.

"As much as I would like to, I gotta be on the lookout for any punks that are trying to cause harm, stay safe out there everyone"

And with that she leaves.

<///////^\\\\\\\>

Walking down a path of the city as it slowly turned more woodsy, Miruko finda a path that leads into the wooded area.

With much suspicion, she decided to go down the path to see were it leads.

The further she walks down the path, the more unnaturally grown plants show up.

Uppon reaching were the path expanded, Miruko finds quite a large cottage surrounded by flowers and vines. There were even some wild animals near a pond further out in the field.

But what caught her attention was the verry petite woman tending to what seemed to be a main garden at the side of the house.

The woman dressed in a white button up shirt that hugged her for quite a bit, black legging-like jeans and a pair of black tennis-shoes.

Their (h/c) (h/l) hair was tied back (rapped up if you have short hair) and she had a loos of determination to pull what looked like a verry deep weed from the garden.

Miruko stalked closer being as silent as possible, to get a better look, her stealth mode ended when the woman harshly pulled out the weed with a bit much force making her end up on her rear end.

Bursting with a strong laughter Miruko stomped her foot in hysteria, making the lady who now knows of her presence gasp, but not because a top pro hero was in front of her, no, it was because that same pro hero was standing in th middle of her petunias stomping at them!

"Stop that your ruining my hard work!" you say with a loud huff.

Miruko settled from her laughter to look in the direction of your concern.

Noticing how she trampled a good bit of the petunias she was quick to move to where no flowers were.

That still didn't make you any less angry, marching up to her being mindful of the other flowers in the way of you and the hero. "Do you know how disrespectful that? To be so inconsiderate and stomp on my flowers AND come onto MY home and not only watch me but laugh at me like I'm a joke, thats just low"

Miruko didn't know rather to feel amused that such a tinny lada had so much spunk, or annoyed that the clumsy woman turned into a Karen.

"I'm sorry look I'll even make it up to you, by helping you replant your flowers, okay?"

That seemed to turn on a switch, your whole angry demeanour switched to a more calm one. Ecxepting the form of apology you wenymt into your cottage and got the needed things to start the replanting.

<///////^\\\\\\\>

After a few hours you and Miruko have finnighed replanting the petunias and got to know eachother a tiny bit, but now it was time for the pro to leave.

"Hey Rumi, I'm sorry for blowing up on you like that, it took me almost two years to get all if these flowers and seeds, let alone the process of planting..." You apologise for your first impression and scatch the nape of your neck.

"Oh! Yeah, it's all good I'm not to stressed about that, today turned out to be calmer than most, I might just stop by to clam down after my patrols, or just bscause"

Miruko smiled her charming smirk , leaving back up the path that leaves out of the woods back into the city

"Hopeful you come back soon" you mummbled smiling

===========================

I am so sleepy right know I can't hardly type right

#x fem!reader #miruko x fem reader #miruko #bnha x reader

[mutant-male-lee]

Interesting Selection of ticklers I want to come after me

I want to experiment abit with some interesting type of ticklers. You can either come after me as my Wolf Boy oc or you can come after me as a regular Human. 

1.Magical Snake Mistress- Female - NSFW- A verry Larg Female Snake with a Tatto running from her forhead along her back. Has an Army of Cobra like monsters that have hands for heads. She is known as a Syuline but you can name her whatever you like. She controls the weird Cobra like creatures known as Clutchras there is a Total of 10 0f them. She prefures to man handle her Victims by traditional Serpant means by wrapping herself around them like they are prey. She does not  Eat Humanoid beings but rather is compatable with them. First she wrestles her Targets and then once they can’t move she starts to tickle them until they become tired. she does have venom that can make them sleepy or paralized but she tends to reserve her Venom for either hunting prey while her more specialized venom is mainly for courting sessions Once her Target is tired enough she’ll drag them back to her lair and use her Clutchras to tied them up. Yes she has her own dungone and rope it’s just she prefers to take an old fashioned aproach when nabbing her Prey. She then procedes to tickle and tease her target into Submission and Dominate them. Her kind realy are partial to Human lovers sometimes even dragging them along as a gift for a partner when in a courting ritual within the species. It is unknown why they love Humans in this since though. They can also use Telapathy to speak while being able to understand human speach but are an unable to speak human laugage with their own mouths. But they can Hypnotise their prey into imagioning they can speak. Sometimes they use Hypnosis to trick their Prey into thinking they Naga or other type of serpants. They do this since Nagas are half Human and therefor would appease the Prey more. Perhaps they are distant cousins? how else would they be compatable with humans. (also no I’m not gonna do sex with a snake. This might NSFW but I won’t go that far here.)

2.Short Stack- Because tiny hands are even better for tickling with. She can be extra strong or just verry witty and has me trapped and at her mercy. I like the ideal of her being so strong she could drag a man twice or 3 times her size no problem. It’s just so surreal the ideal of someone being bigger than their kidnapper or captor and being so easily overpowered and bullied by them. Som in a way this could count as Humilation as well.

3. CENTAUR

4.Daughter of Crampus

5. Octotpus Girl

6. Spider Pirate (I actual have an oc I’m working and with a name too but I figure why not play around with the idea on here ^^ )

7.Anthro Lioness

8. Dragoness

9.Anthro Ejyption Cat girl

#f/m tickling #tickle RP #interesting female ticklers #Tickle me #I'm a lee #Male lee #Female ler

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

Spotlight: Life Of A Troubled Celebrity Heartthrob Ch 4

Word Count: 4,140

Colson had temporarily moved Y/N's Mom to his house in Cleveland. He was staying in New York because he had some business to take care of. He told Y/N that he would send for her on Friday morning because they had to attend a charity dinner together later that day. Melissa would have to take her shopping as usual and she was looking forward to it. Afterwards she would be meeting up with Liv and Lisa for lunch.

"So tell me about this thing you have with Colson?" Mrs Y/M/L/N patted the seat beside her and Y/N sat down.

"It's nothing Mom. I'm just helping him out." Y/N said eyeing her shoes.

"Is that all?" She pressed gently.

"I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you? Can we not do this? It's awkward. " Y/N frowned. They never had an open relationship where they could talk about everything and anything. She only had that kind of relationship with her Dad-but he was gone.

"Look Mom, I know you're trying but I need more time..but just know that Colson and I are not together. We have a great friendship and I don't expect anything more."

"But you like him or he likes you?" She squeezed Y/N's hand.

"Yes-no-look I don't know." She sighed as she stood up.

"Just be careful honey. Don't get your hopes up. Don't get me wrong-" She raised her hands, "I'm just concerned okay? Guys like Colson.."

"I know, I know." She mumbled. "You don't need to say it."

Jax came and stood at the door, interrupting the conversation.

"Good morning, Miss and Mrs Y/L/N." He bowed slightly.

"Hi Jax." Y/N smiled at him.

"Listen honey, I had forgotten that I have to attend a conference this weekend. I will be leaving tomorrow, so can we talk some more before I leave?" She asked, hopeful.

"I'll be waiting in the car." Jax announced and left them alone.

"Yeah, sure. Maybe when I get back okay? I'll probably be gone when you get back anyway." They embraced and Y/N left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Slim, get in here." Colson said over the intercom. He was in his New York office and trying to think of ways to spend more time with Y/N, without being too obvious.

"Hey Col! What's up man?" Slim bounced into the office and threw himself on the corner coach.

"Are you and Kinky free tonight?" Colson asked as he typed something on his iMac.

"Yeah, Sommer and I have plans..why? Wanna join in? Tired of being a pro-golfer whenever you sleep with Bambi? " He cackled as he smacked his knee.

"There's more to relationships than sex dude." Colson scoffed, still staring at the computer screen.

"Ahhh..so you're admitting that you're in a relationship are you??" He nodded slowly.

"Shut up." Colson responded.

"You're too uptight this morning..maybe you need a hit?" Slim dug his hand in his pocket and produced a tiny vile of cocaine to Colson that he had tried to stay away from for five straight days now. He looked away and felt his resolve slipping away.

"C'mon..you know you wanna." Slim coaxed him as he dangled it in front of Colson's face.

"Set it up while I lock the door." Colson said, as he sighed in defeat. He convinced himself that this would be the last time. After this he wouldn't go anywhere near drugs-including his sleeping pills. Besides it wasn't going to hurt anyone..was it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colson woke up and found himself on the floor in his office. Slim was passed out a few feet away from him. He didn't remember how he got there though. There was a soft, incessant tap on his door and his body felt so heavy, he could barely lift his head. The knock continued and it became rather irritating.

"Go away!" He groaned with the little energy he could muster.

"Colson, it's Byron here. We had a meeting with that film producer remember?? A verry important meeting. We need to leave now or we won't be able to make it." Silence.

"Colson?" Byron sighed and shook his head as he walked away from the door.

He knew that he had to try and re-schedule. Whenever Colson and Slim got together they got high. Byron had been standing knocking at the door for more than an hour. Unfortunately Colson's office was sound proof and there were no glass walls or windows to peer through. Numerous times Byron had tried to get them to counselling or rehab but they always brushed him off. It was all in the name of fun they assured him but this was becoming a problem that would affect Colson's career. He had already been arrested and he was still trying to do damage control. This couldn't go on, it had to stop.

"Y/N, Byron here. Hope you're good." He smiled into the phone. "Sorry to drop this on you but-I need you to come to New York earlier than planned-like today."

Colson dragged himself off the floor and staggered towards the bathroom. The drugs were wearing off but he was feeling the after effects now. The coke was much stronger than before, he was totally knocked out. A cold shower usually sobered him up a bit and he needed to pull himself together. He had a stool in his shower for such instances and he pushed it against the wall then fell onto it as he opened the cold water tap to maximum. He stripped his soaking clothes off as he began to feel better, then he adjusted the water to luke-warm.

"Why? Why? Why?" He screamed at himself as he pulled on his hair.

The guilt came at him like a flood and it brought along its cousins. Tears coursed down his face and mingled with the water and he let them flow. Why couldn't he stop? He wanted to but he just couldn't bring himself to break the addiction, especially when he was surrounded by it. It seemed like everyone in the entertainment industry was hooked on drugs, sex and alcohol. It was proving to be difficult to stop altogether because he had no other means of escape. At least when he was high he could forget-even for a short moment-he could slip into oblivion and escape from it all; the pressure, the high expectations, the fake people that constantly surrounded him.

Although he always had people around him he always felt so alone. Nobody loved him. His grandparents were senile and didn't remember who he was half the time. So he was totally alone in this world. Everyone just wanted a piece of him for selfish reasons. No one showed any genuine interest in him without a hidden motive. Well, until Y/N..

He smiled as he thought about her while he dried his hair. His heart swelled and his stomach muscles constricted. He missed her dearly, more than he cared to admit. Maybe he would send for her earlier than planned or he would fly to Cleveland and fetch her himself. Yes, that's exactly what he would do he thought with a renewed purpose. He walked into his closet and got dressed quickly and went to check on Slim.

Slim was still passed out on the floor and it was beginning to bother Colson. He bent over him and shook him but he didn't budge. What was even more worrying is that that he was frothing at the mouth and his nose was bleeding.

"Byron! Get here now!" Colson shouted into his cellphone. He unlocked the door and waited anxiously for Byron to come.

"I'm here. What's-" He froze as he took in the sight in front of him. "We need to get him to the hospital. Get out of here, I'll handle this." He locked the office door again.

"But I can't just leave-" Colson protested.

"Go! You know the drill Colson. You can't be seen here okay just leave through the secret passageway. Now!" He pushed Colson towards the private exit point. "I'll call you." He said before closing the door.

Colson made a run for it and found a car waiting for him.

"Bro, please take me to the hanger I need to fly to Cleveland as soon as possible. Call the pilot and ask him to get clearance or whatever." He instructed the driver.

"Sure thing Colson." The driver replied.

He bounced his knee and bit on his nails, something he always did when he was super-stressed. What if Slim didn't make it? How would he live with himself? He promised himself that if Slim survived then he would never-

"Yes." He snapped as he answered the phone.

"It's handled. Slim has been taken to a private hospital so he's in good hands." Byron said calmly.

"Great." He breathed a sigh of relief. "Listen we'll have to meet in Norway-I'm going to Cleveland. Can you check if the jet is cleared?" Colson gripped the phone until his knuckles turned white.

"Yes. I had it done earlier, had a feeling you might want to go." Byron said. His instincts were right after all.

"Thanks..for everything." Colson said.

*******************************************

"Hey."

"Colson?" Y/N tucked the phone between her ear and her shoulder. Liv and Lisa squealed in delight. She had met them for lunch.

"Guess what? I'm in Cleveland!" He said trying to sound dramatic.

"Oh..I thought I was supposed to come there this evening?" She put down her cutlery and held her phone.

"Yeah, but there was a slight change of plans..You don't want to see me?"

"No, of course I do. I-I'm glad to know-that you're here?" She said flustered. Her appetite was long gone by now and she grabbed a glass of wine and gulped it down. Did he fly all the way down here especially for her or he was here for another reason? Lisa and Liv had stopped eating and they were staring at her.

"You're still there sweets?" He asked.

"Yeah..so where are you?"

"I just jetted in. Was hopping I could join you for lunch?" He pressed gently.

"Yeah of course..I-we're at The Capital Grille on Superior Avenue. I'm sure you can find it?" She replied, avoiding looking at her friends. Their faces lit up with excitement at they shamelessly listened in to the conversation.

"See you in a bit sweets."

"Hold the phone! He's coming here isn't he?" Liv exclaimed, not knowing what to do with herself.

"Yes. You do know that it's rude to listen in to someone else's conversation?" Y/N said as she gulped down a glass of water.

"So should we go? Should we stay?" Lisa added, her eyes shining.

"Let's go to the bathroom and regroup shall we?" Liv suggested. "Besides your face needs a bit of work babe. You look like you were running a marathon." She threw her napkin on the table and held out her hand to Y/N as they stood up.

"I'll stay." Lisa offered. "Just in case-you know?"She shrugged and tossed her hair back.

"You know this isn't necessary." Y/N protested as Liv powdered her face. "He has seen me without make-up and probably knows what my morning breath smells like..so.."

"Overshare alert." Liv rolled her eyes. "He must really like you, you know?"

"What makes you think that?" Y/N frowned at her reflection in the mirror.

"Well..you've slept in the same bed on many occasions and he didn't try to take things further. I mean who does that? He's Colson Baker! He could have had you just by blinking in your direction but he hasn't." She observed.

"I know right? But what if it's an angle? All part of his game?" She voiced her thoughts.

"Sweetheart, this is Colson-freakin-Baker. what could he possibly gain from having sex with a college student? If I was in your shoes I would have been all over that hot bod! You're wasting a perfectly good dish.. Just let me at him!" Liv clawed the air and they burst into laughter.

They had just settled at the table when Y/N's phone rang again.

"Hey sweets. I'm parked outside. I can't come in because I don't have any guards with me and I don't want to cause a commotion. So do you and your friends mind if we go some where else?"

"Okay sure." Y/N said.

"Great. I'll pick you up at the front entrance." He replied.

"Hey, listen..Colson wants us to meet him out front like now-so let's go." Y/N stood and hurried her friends along.

Colson pulled up in his black matte Aston Martin DB11, looking hotter than the sun. He was dressed in full white, shorts and a white v-neck t-shirt and completed the look with his Ray Ban police sunglasses, his hair messier than usual because the drop-top was down. They all jumped in with squeals of delight from Liv and Lisa.

"Oh my days!! I'm in Colson Baker's car!" Lisa kept saying over and over again. She sounded like a scratched record.

"Careful there, you might just inspire me to write a new song." Colson laughed.

"Hi! By the way I'm Lisa and this is Liv. Oh my days! I still can't believe I'm-Ahhh!" Lisa screamed like a typical groupie. Liv just sat with her hands on her head chanting "Oh my gosh." repeatedly.

"Interesting friends you got there Bambi." He stole a glance as he fixed his eyes back on the road. Gosh, he had missed her. " You miss me much? Or I didn't stay away long enough??" Colson threw a smile at Y/N.

"You should have stayed away a little longer Baker." She smiled at him. She had missed him but she was never going to tell him that. Her heart was racing just by being so close to him and her stomach was in knots. She had it bad. This was more than a crush.

"Aww you two are so sweet!" Lisa gushed.

"I know right?" Colson winked at Y/N.

"So where to?" Y/N asked.

"We are going to leave your friends at the mall to do a bit of shopping on me of course- because-they will be coming to spend the weekend with us in New York." Lisa and Liv let out loud screams and it was difficult to contain them after that. They started talking in excited whispers at the back.

"And then we are going to spend some QT alone..seeing as you my bae and all that." He squeezed her hand. He played it down. He really wanted-no he needed to be alone with Y/N right now. She had this calming effect on him and he needed that right now. He just wanted to enjoy this time with her and just forget about everything and everyone else.

"Oh, sounds good." She said. Did he really want to spend time alone with her or it was just to appease the media? Either way she didn't mind the logic behind it, she would milk it for everything it was worth.

"You don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought the press would be curious as to why we hardly make public appearances." He lied but it caused untold damage to Y/N's heart.

"Yeah. I understand." She said with a smug smile.

"But don't get me wrong I don't mind. In case you didn't notice, I kinda enjoy your company sweets." He lifted their joined hands and kissed hers.

"Did you see that?!!" Liv exclaimed to Lisa as she pointed to the front..

"You ain't seen nothing yet babe." Colson chuckled as he turned up the music.

*********************************************

Colson drove his car into an estate located within a forest and by a lakeside. It was a private wooded lot with it's very own well maintained pond. The house was stunning, a two-story home which stretched for miles and a serene lake shore which was sure to take your breath away.

"In case you're wondering..this is my childhood home. No one lives here besides the hired help of course." He said as he pulled into the garage and turned of the ignition. "I usually come here to de-stress. Thought you might like it. Let's go inside." He held the door open for Y/N and she stepped out.

"It's beautiful." She sighed. "So is this like your happy place?" She asked, her face full of mischief.

"Bambi-you are my happy place." He turned and held her face.

"Oh." Her cheeks reddened.

"You look so cute when you blush" He laughed softly. Come on, there's something that I need to show you." He tugged her hand and led her to the back of the house. They came to the top of a hill and just at the bottom was an encased tree house. The only way to get there was by sliding through a tunnel.

"Baker are you a fan of Alice in Wonderland?" Y/N grinned at him.

"Not me but my Mom was. We would sit here together for hours you know. Reading, playing board games or we would have a picnic. Actually..she kind of inspired my plans today." He pulled her towards the tunnel and he slid through and she did the same.

"So how do we get out of here?" She looked around, confused.

"Aahhh..You will just have to wait and see." He said in a mysterious voice as he gently tapped the tip of her nose with his finger. "Welcome to my magical world." They stepped inside and she twirled around, taking everything in. This tree house was way too fancy to be called that. It was more like a luxurious cabin in the woods. There was a plush Persian rug on the floor and a worn L-shaped brown leather couch, with a large wall-mounted flat screen TV, a small bathroom and open-plan kitchen. There was a separate door that led to the bedroom which contained a comfortable queen-size bed.

"FYI..this is not a tree-house." Y/N said and Colson laughed.

"Go big or go home right?" He threw himself on the couch and switched on the TV.

"So are we going to sit around and watch TV all day?" Y/N asked as she sat next to him.

"And what would you rather we do sweets?" The look he gave her made her blush because it clearly stated his intentions.

"I would rather-explore." She blurted out and her hands flew to her mouth.

"You walked straight into that one didn't you?" Colson gasped as he held his stomach.

"Not funny Baker." She folded her arms and pretended to sulk.

"I'm sorry but that-" He laughed "was epic Bambi."

"You know what I meant but as usual you twisted it in your perverted mind."

"You know what I'd like to do right now?" His face grew serious and he inched towards her.

"No." She knew exactly what he wanted but she wanted to hear him say it. His face was a whisper away from hers and she could feel his warm breath caress her face. She kept reminding herself to breath otherwise she was going to pass out. He stared deep into her eyes, trying to read her expression before pulling away suddenly.

"Let's play a little game?" He cleared his throat and walked over to the TV and the remote. "You're in?"

"Yeah." She pushed back her hair and shifted in her seat.

"We're going to play our own version of Karaoke." He scrolled down the screen and connected to the YouTube homepage. "You know that music speaks right? So we going to choose songs that speak to each other. Got it?"

"I'm not sure I do.." She frowned.

"Look sweets-you and I have chemistry. There's no denying that right?" He tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes.

"Correct."

"So..we're having a problem communicating our feelings to each other right?"

"Yes but I can't sing." She bit her bottom lip.

"Who cares? You're not here for an audition sweets." He brushed her off. "This is the best way for us to tell the other person what we're feeling or thinking. By choosing a specific song and singing it-word for word. Don't worry it won't be so bad. I'll go first." He selected his song and she smiled.

"Interesting choice."

"Dance with me." He pulled her close and sang the song to her, meaning every word and she knew it. This wasn't an act. This was exactly how he felt. She was thinking how she was going to top this.

𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍, 𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉, 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 (𝑺𝒂𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖), 

𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒉 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍, 𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉-𝒐𝒉, 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 (𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖), 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖

'𝑪𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 

𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒆𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 (𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆) 

𝒀𝒆𝒂��, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝑰 𝒔𝒊𝒏

𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒇 𝒘𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 

𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒉, 𝒊𝒇 𝒘𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔

(Credit Angel by The Weeknd)

"Your turn." He handed her the remote and she thought of the perfect song.

𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝑰𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈

𝑵𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒐𝒓 𝒅𝒐 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑰'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆 

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔

𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏

𝑶𝒉, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆 '𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒆 

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 

𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒕𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆

(Credit Gravity by Sarah Bareilles)

He looked at her with such passion in his eyes as she sang, his arms circled her waist and brought her closer until they were chest to chest. All he wanted to do was feel her soft cherry lips on his and he hoped she wouldn't turn away.

"I'm going to kiss you now." He simply stated before his lips came crushing down on hers. He kissed her possessively until she was limp in his arms.

"I've been dying to do that all day," He smiled into her lips and kissed her one more time.

"What took you so long." She panted and placed her hands on his chest.

"That's what I've been asking myself." He laughed, his blue eyes shining. "Let's get out of here before I take you right here and right now." She gasped and he laughed.

He took her through a trap door that led to another tunnel that went straight to the dock.

"Would you like to go on a boat ride or do you get seasick?" He asked as they stood on the gangplank.

"Let's go!" She pulled him towards the speed boat.

"Alright, alright." He untied the boat and help her get in. She stood beside him as they took off, her head resting on his shoulder.

"We're just in time to watch the sunset." He pointed to the orange horizon. "The best way to take it in is if we relax in the cockpit." He turned of the engine and allowed the boat to float. Fortunately the boat had a dual console deck and the lounge area had comfortable u-shape leather seats, where could lie down or sit with your feet up.

Colson lay with Y/N in silence, her head on his shoulder as they watched the sunset.

"I have one last song to play for you." He slipped a pair of blue-tooth headphones over her head and put his on afterwards. She snuggled close to him and they were face to face as he sang the song to her.

𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 

𝑵𝒐 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒆𝒅 

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒑 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒖𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒎𝒆 (𝑾𝒉𝒐 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖?)

𝑨𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍? 

𝑨𝒎 𝑰 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆? 

𝑰 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑴𝒚 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒔 (𝑾𝒉𝒐 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖?)

𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 

𝑰𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆

(Credit Sweet Surrender by Sarah McLaughlin)

She smiled at him and he caressed he cheek. No one had ever sang to her before-like this. She didn't know how to feel or how to react. Her heart wanted to burst out of her chest. How could she not fall in love with this person when he did such things to her. Little things meant a lot to Y/N. Such small gestures hooked her and reeled her in.

She was a goner-she thought to herself before falling asleep on Colson's broad chest.

Tagged: @kellysimagines

#machine gun kelly #colson baker #mgk #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly imagine #colson baker x reader #colson baker imagine #fan fiction

[gumnut-logic]

Ellie (Part Two - Bit 1)

Part One | Part Two - Bit 1

This fic appears to have happened. I still have no idea what I’m doing or where it is going, but it is what it is. This is the first half of Part Two as I fumble my way through.

Many thanks to @vegetacide​ and @scribbles97​ for both reading and putting up with my wibblies today as I tried to put one word after the other. I have no doubt there will be more wibblies tomorrow at some point.

I hope you enjoy whatever this is ::hugs you all::

-o-o-o-

“So, what’s he like?”

“Who?” Ellie chewed on the end of her stylus. Setting up a new tablet was a pain. All the fun of a new piece of tech had been taken away by the fact she couldn’t really afford it and paying for it had physically hurt.

“Virgil Tracy.”

She entered her password yet again. How many times did she have to prove she was who she said she was? “Who?”

“Your saviour! Verri said you nearly fell down the stairs in class and Virgil Tracy grabbed you at the last second.”

That had her sitting up. “What?” Verri was all mouth and no brain. Then it clicked. “Oh, Virgil.”

“Oooh, so it is a first name basis then is it?”

“What? What else would it be?” God, Terri was almost as bad as Verri at times. It was understandable as they were sisters, but Terri was usually so much more.

Usually.

Terri put down her coffee. “Well, you know, with him being famous and all.”

Ellie frowned, finally distracted from her tablet. “What?” Great, now she was repeating herself.

Terri looked at her as if she was an idiot or something. “Virgil Tracy. Of International Rescue. Son of Jeff Tracy. Billionaire.”

She stared at her friend, her mind spinning. Really?

“Oh, god, you didn’t know?!” Terri burst out laughing. “I can’t believe it. You need to get your head out of those romance novels, girl, or you might miss one of your own.”

Ellie stared at her a moment longer aware that her face was flushing red. Damnit.

She picked up the marshmallow sitting beside her hot chocolate and threw it at Terri.

It bounced off her forehead, leaving a little puff of icing sugar.

That, of course, only made her laugh harder. “Omigod, you had no idea.” Now her giggles were becoming irritating. Why did she invite her friend over for breakfast?

Oh, yeah, because she was her friend and Ellie being on the night shift meant it was the only time they could see each other.

Ellie went back to her tablet and the hell of setting it up.

How was she supposed to know? “I was late to class.” It was mumbled.

“Well, that explains it.” Terri picked up her coffee again and sipped it. “Verri said he walked in with a security guard and there was this room check thing before he even sat down. I’m surprised you didn’t get harassed at the door.”

She blinked. There had been that guy she’d had to show her ID to, but wasn’t that the norm? He had been as dark as the shadows he was standing in.

Ellie had been too panicked about being late to care.

Virgil Tracy. Famous hero who saved lives on a regular basis.

No wonder he had caught her.

A flash of bicep.

An embarrassed swallow. Okay, now she was just being stupid. If there was any chance of getting to know him better, it had been snuffed out by his identity. Why on Earth would he even care she existed?

But he had caught her.

His voice had been so kind.

“Are you okay?” Terri’s voice was suddenly soft…concerned.

Ellie shook herself and forced a smile. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Her friend frowned at her. “You sure?”

Elli forced her bravado. “So, what is a famous hero doing in my nursing class?”

Terri blinked. “Buggered if I know.”

“Hmmm…”

“You could ask him.” Terri peered over her coffee cup.

Talk to him? Famous hero, Virgil Tracy?

Then she realised that tomorrow she would have to sit next to him again.

Oh, shit.

And her embarrassment at her clumsiness last time welled up yet again.

Oh god.

Terri was eyeing her suspiciously again. “Don’t forget to breathe, Ells.”

“Shut up.”

But she was right.

Damn.

-o-o-o-

Ellie was on time to class the next day despite the night shift. Actually, she was early. Early enough for the lecturer to frown at her and possibly question if she had been replaced by an alien.

“Ms Tyler, I’m happy to see you here.”

“I’m happy to be here, ma’am.”

That did it. She gave the old battle axe respect and immediately the woman became suspicious. Ellie would be under surveillance for the entire class.

Pfft.

She’d had worse patients. Those frowning eyes didn’t scare her.

“Hello again.”

She jumped as Virgil Tracy sat down beside her. Oh god. She hadn’t even seen him come in.

And yes, there was that mysterious guy running around with a scanner of some kind.

“Don’t mind Jeremy. He’s just pedantic.” It was said with a warm smile that had her stomach filling with butterflies.

As if to illustrate that fact, the security officer narrowed in on her and requested her identification. Dark eyes sliced and diced her as she fumbled in her bag for her card.

He said nothing as he eyed it, scanned it with his gadget and handed it back before moving onto the next student.

“He’s not happy because I made us late.”

Ellie blinked. “You’re not late. You’re early.” Wow. She had found her voice.

Virgil snorted. “Not when Jez wants to secure the premises, I’m not.” His smile was a little fond as his eyes tracked the man skipping between arriving students. “But then his boss is even more pedantic.”

“You’re pedantic?” Ellie frowned.

He turned to her. “Me? Oh, no, I’m not his boss.”

Then who? But she didn’t ask as he turned back to tracking his security officer with his eyes. His profile gave her the chance to actually look at Virgil.

Dark hair coiffured into some kind of pseudo-mohawk, tanned skin…she tried to remember where the Tracys actually lived. Wasn’t it an island somewhere?

She could almost hear Terri laughing at her. She really needed to pay more attention to current events.

Particularly if they were going to sit beside her in class.

But yes, tanned skin. She frowned. No…was that makeup?

The soft texture of foundation kicked up at the edge of his hairline and the skin colour changed as it merged into his hair.

Oh god.

She could barely see it, but there was the shadow of a massive bruise on his cheekbone.

He turned to look at her at that moment and she was forced to look away.

She swallowed.

Terri was laughing at her again.

The man had his arm in a sling. He had obviously been injured somehow.

Her mind wandered off wondering how.

“Did you receive my notes?”

She blinked. “Oh, yes, thank you so much.” She fished out her new tablet and held it up. “New device acquired.”

He smiled just a little. “Good to see.” But if he was going to say anything further, he was interrupted by Battle Axe calling the class to attention.

She pulled Spud out of her bag and stuck him on the tiny lap desk. His stitched-on smile brightened her despite herself.

Vaguely she was aware of Virgil glancing at the toy, but Battle Axe was talking, and unfortunately Ellie had to pay attention.

Today’s topic was about drug development and testing as background to administration. It was dry fodder and Ellie found herself zoning out.

She could smell his after shave. Or was it his cologne? Whatever it was, it was pleasant and warm.

The scratch of his stylus on his tablet was a soft counterpoint to Battle Axe’s droning voice.

Why hadn’t she taken the online version of this course?

Oh, yeah, because Battle Axe actually knew what she was talking about and there were certain things she just had to see in person.

That stylus scratching was almost a beat she could write music to.

She found herself visualising her fingers on her grandmother’s piano, notes marching out in time.

She drifted for a moment there, only to be nudged gently…

Awake! She was awake.

“Ms Tyler?”

What? She was in the lecture hall and Battle Axe was glaring up at her.

What?

“Ms Tyler, I recommend you get sufficient sleep at all times. A patient may depend on your alertness.” Battle Axe was frowning at her.

Oh, shit.

“Yes, ma’am.”

The woman’s eyes flickered to the man beside Ellie and smiled without smiling.

What?

Ellie looked at Virgil and found him frowning.

Battle Axe was blushing!

Ellie’s eyes widened.

Virgil shifted where he sat, fingering his sling.

But then the moment snapped and Battle Axe went back to babbling about Medsafe and New Zealand’s legal requirements for all medications.

What the hell was that?

But Virgil was looking down at his tablet, apparently scribbling notes, and Battle Axe had gone back to lecturing. She babbled for a few more minutes before darkening the room and activating the holoprojector.

Depressingly, the video was the same one she had viewed herself for her special study. She was already familiar with Emergency Department drug procedures. Which was probably just as well since she now worked in one.

She almost wished she had stayed asleep.

“You okay?” It was whispered baritone.

She turned to find his shadow looking at her. The holoprojection reflected in his eyes.

Whispered back. “I’m good.” Her body betrayed her by yawning at that exact moment. “Had the early shift this morning.” Or very late. It was kind of both. But it did give her the opportunity to attend the lecture. This early part of the course may be boring, but she needed it for the later part which she hoped would be worth it all.

It just meant she had to crash and burn when she got home before getting up in the dark to go to work.

“That and I’ve seen this before.” She straightened in her seat and prepared to keep herself awake for the next forty-five minutes.

“So have I. Bought it for reference.” In that moment he appeared as tired as she was.

She grunted and shifted in her seat again and they sat there for another five minutes.

“You want to go grab a coffee?”

What? But he was looking at her, his shadow sculpted by hololight.

“Okay?” It was out before she could think about it.

Without further word, he picked up his tablet and stood.

Caught out, she fumbled again, grabbing at her things and shoving them in her backpack as he started to make his way to the exit.

“Mr Tracy, where are you going?” Battle Axe emerged from the shadows below, her finger the pause button.

Ellie froze half out of her seat.

“Please excuse us, Ms Kingston.” And he kept moving.

Ellie blinked. He offered no apology, yet was still polite. It left Battle Axe with no ground to stand on and somewhat speechless enough for the two of them to make a quick exit.

It confirmed that Battle Axe was fully aware of exactly who Virgil Tracy was and that he could do pretty much what he wanted to. Ellie had no doubt that if she had tried it herself, the results would have been considerably different.

But she was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth and she hurried out of the room after him.

-o-o-o-

Next

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Virgil Tracy #Ellie Tyler

[slimjim420]

A bit about Moss

Originally made by Stuck On My Shit (original here)

Personal - Basics

[Name]

Moss

[Race/Species]

Demon [] Angel [] Human [X] Other: []

[Age]

Supposedly 23

[Birthday]

May 18

[Height]

172 cm or 5′8

[Fingernail Polish Color(s)]

Navy blue

[Hair color/description]

Moss has messy white hair that goes down to the middle of their back. They often have it in some sort of ponytail or bun.

Personal - In-depth

[Gender or no | Pronoun(s)]

Nonbinary They/Them

[Sexual/Romantic Orientation or lack thereof]

Pansexual & Polyamorous

[Occupation Before Devildom Life]

They were Madame Luna’s successor doing complicated spells for people.

[Favorite Color(s)]

All shades of blue

[Personality]

MBTI: INTF

Ennagram: ???

Zodiac: Taurus

Personal - Other

[Likes]

Art, Music, Sweet foods, Anime, Jars, Bells, Incense, Candles, Frogs, Pigs

[Dislikes]

Loud noises, Crowded areas, Anything orange, Math

[Positive Traits]

Clever, (Mostly) Friendly, Forgiving, Confident

[Negative Traits]

Sarcastic, Dishonest, Impulsive, Lazy

Relationships

(I’m adding my other OCs to this)

[With Demons]

Lucifer: Moss looks up to Lucifer and respects him but gods does he get on their nerves. Everytime he speaks Moss has to hold themself back from slapping him.

Mammon: Moss considders Mammon their best friend. They always get up to stupid nonsense that is sure to piss Lucifer off.

Leviathan: Leviathan is one of Moss’s favorite people. Moss adores him and would do anything to ensure his hapiness.

Satan: Satan and Moss get along well. Satan reminds Moss of themself when they were younger.

Asmodeus: Moss loves hanging out with Asmodeus or just being around him. They also often gossip together.

Beelzebub: Moss and Beelzebub both have verry large apatites so they often sit and eat together. Moss thinks Beelzebub is absolutely precious and if anything bad ever happened to him they would RAISE HELL.

Belphegor: Belphegor is always surprised how eisily Moss trusts him after what he’s done. Moss can’t blame him for killing them though and it’s not like it’s the first time they’ve died.

Diavolo: Moss likes Diavolo and thinks his personality is quite entertaining but part of them can’t really trust him...

Barbatos: Moss calls Barbatos “Barbra” and often talks about how annoying he is. They truly have no problem with him but it’s now an ongoing joke between the two that they hate eachother.

Layla: Moss would die for Layla. Kill for Layla. They think she’s absolutely PERFECT and would do ANYTHING for her. Layla is very aware of this and uses it to her full advantage.

Nita: Moss thinks Nita is hilarious with her shy tsundere aditude. Nita looks up to Moss but she would never even dream of telling them.

Noah: Moss adores Noah and thinks of him as a younger brother. Noah still feels bad for breaking Moss’s leg once but Moss has told him he has more than made up for it by being a wonderful friend.

Rogan: Moss calls Rogan her pretty lesbian and would die for her. Rogan loves spoining Moss and finds it funny to get all cuddly with Moss right in front of Leviathan. Moss acts oblivious to her playful advances and Levi’s jealousy.

Max: Moss and Max get along just fine. They enjoy talking to Max when he and Satan are together in the house.

William: Moss and Will cuddle all of the time and Will often spoiles them with presents and praise. Moss loves this and tries their best to give him gifts that are just as nice.

Pidge: Moss saved Pidge’s life once so Pidge feels like she is forever in debt to Moss. Moss just enjoys hanging out with Pidge. Especially when she takes them out flying.

Lyle: Moss looks up to Lyle as he is technically their older brother. Lyle is the voice of reason to combat Moss’s impulsive chaotic personality.

[With Angels]

Simeon: Moss thinks Simeon is very kind and looks up to him but they also find him very bland.

Luke: Moss adores Luke. They call him “My son” or “My boy” and would literally kill anybody who dares upset him. Luke looks up to Moss and hopes to one day be just like them. Moss hopes that this does not happen.

Arina: Moss likes Arina quite a bit but they find her much too serious. Arina sees every interaction with Moss as just a business interaction (it technically is) and that really annoys Moss.

[With Humans]

Solomon: Moss quite likes Solomon but they find his overly kind personality somewhat suspicious. They would never admit that to Solomon’s face though.

Jackie: Moss only wants to impress Jackie and sees her as a motherly figure. Lackie would kill anybody who so much as looks at “her boy” the wrong way.

JJ: Jeremiah looks up to Moss and refuses to call them anything but “Boss” most of the time. Moss finds this adorable but in return jokinhgly calls him “Pretty Boy”

Shank: Moss gets on Shank’s damn nerves and Shank often tries to kill them. Moss finds this hilarious and likes to flirt with her and call her “Pretty Woman” or “Pretty Lady” just to get on her nerves. Shank secretly adores Moss and they are the only person besides JJ allowed to call her Kiana.

Madame Luna: Moss loved Madame Luna as if she was their actual mother. They still feel guilty for killing her even though it had to be done.

[With other beings]

Indigo: Moss and Indigo have a mutual admiration for eachother. They get along very well as their personalities are very similar.

Jay: Moss and Jay get along just fine. Moss finds Jay quite plain and Jay finds Moss much too chaotic and obnoxious. And if Mammon’s boyfirend thinks you’re chaotic it’s probably true...

Stella: Moss thinks Stella is rather admirable. Stella is the clever businesswoman Moss’s parents always wanted them to be.

E: E is quite important to Moss for many reasons. E finds the “tiny human” quite intriguing but she will always slightly fear Moss because of the first time they met.

Sadie: Sadie is like a sister to Moss. Moss has literally killed for Sadie before and would gladly do it again if necessary. Sadie has been with Moss through everything and their bond is unbreakable.

Lucy: Lucy and Moss act like they hate eachother with Moss calling Lucy “Spooky bitch” and Lucy calling Moss her “Piggy faced sibling”. But in reality they would do anything to protect eachother.

Favorite Things About the Devildom

[Favorite Job(s)] The Royal Library

[Favorite Place(s) to Hang at] In Levi or Asmo’s room, At Will’s house, The Planetarium, The roof of The House of Lamentation

[Favorite Food(s)] Anything sweet

[Favorite Class Subject(s)] {You can check out this awesome list by @hyper-super-clover for ideas or be creative} Spells, Curses & Hexes, Potions, Devildom History

[Favorite Devildom Version of Something from the Human World - Be Creative!] Moss thinks that the rip off names they have for apps and games is hilarious. Every time Levi tells them about a game that has a name VERY similar to a game in the human world and the game is exactly the same as the human world version Moss can’t help but laugh. When Levi told them about “Devilcraft” they just laughed their ass of.

Least Favorite Things About the Devildom

[Least Favorite Job(s)] Hell’s Kitchen

[Least Favorite Places to Go] Any party Asmo or Mammon tries to drag them to, they also clame to get weird vibes from the Demon Lord’s Castle and refuse to spend too much time there

[Least Favorite Foods] Anything spicy

[Disliked Class Subject(s)] {You can check out this awesome list by @hyper-super-clover for ideas or be creative} Sacrificial Teachings, Mathematics, Sports

[Stuff that Can be Considered a Negative About the Devildom] Moss hates how dark and cold it is. They loved it at first until they kept getting sick with their shit immune system and no sunlight.

Personality Chart

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me oc #obey me mc #obey me mc template #obey me mc chart #obey me template #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me luke #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me barbra #mc: Moss

[in-my-head-i-do-everything-right]

Hallie - “you had it figured out since you were in school/everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool.”

you’ve had it figured out since you were in school. everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool

Part of the reason why Allie even sends in that self-tape for that Disney show is because Cassandra tells her not to. She’s feeling rebellious. She’s thirteen.

Only then she gets a callback. And then a skype call with a casting director. And then another call but with the creator of the show. And then she’s across the country, out in sunny LA (it’s December, and it’s snowing back in West Ham, and this shift in weather is really freaking her out).

She gets through one audition. And then two.

She gets the part.

And maybe the show won’t even last a whole season. Maybe it’ll be cancelled before it even airs. Maybe she’ll hate her castmates. Or just LA in general. And, God, she can’t sing. Does Disney know that? Do they expect a music career out of her? Maybe this is all she’ll ever be known for.

But then Cassandra tells her to go for it, and then her family packs up and moves across the country, and suddenly… suddenly this is it.

-

Post-Disney, the first film she does is this small budget indie thing that films on location up in Oregon.

There’s a definite learning curve.

First of all, craft services sucks. Which makes her sound like a snob, but God, she is so used to these mini chocolate croissants available at all times. Like, on the last day of shooting that Disney show, she asked what bakery they were from. One of her co-stars had laughed at her like it was some kind of joke which honestly hurt more than the show ending.

Second of all, nature. As it turns out, shooting outside and shooting on a lot is a very different experience. And shooting out in the rain, which it is always doing in Oregon—twenty-four seven—is an… experience. But a fun experience. Really fun. Makes her think that maybe she’s doesn’t need the job security that Disney provided. Like, fuck that.

And, last of all, Harry Bingham. He gets a whole bullet on this stupid list because he’s the guy who thinks he’s somehow better than her because he got an Oscar nomination or something for a film just like this one. And he was twitter’s white boy of the month, something he is way too proud of. Like, he can’t even remember his twitter password, so why the fuck does he keep bring it up?

-

It’s really late and dark and a little cold. They’re sharing a fuzzy blanket because they could only find one and they both wanted it and when someone on set suggests they just share it neither could come up with an actual argument as to that’s a bad idea.

“You know,” he says, sort of out of nowhere, “my sister watched your show. I think she might be in love with you.”

“Oh,” Allie says, and she’s smiling at him. Not for the first time because, sadly, because he is way too funny for his own good. It’s upsetting. It’s not fair. “So, unlike you, she has taste?”

He scoffs, but he’s smiling too, very brightly. Maybe she doesn’t need the blanket. “I never said I didn’t like your show.”

She stares over at him, not trying to mask that look of surprise taking over her face. She’s just trying to picture him actually watching the show… and it’s not easy. It was a Disney show. It was stupid and immature and Harry fuckingBingham was most definitely not its target audience. She’s trying to picture him watching those commercials, the ones where she’d draw the logo with the fake wand.

Finally, she says: “Honestly, I wasn’t a huge fan of it.”

Harry lets out this light sort of snort, more an exhale than anything else. “Why’d you do it then?”

Allie shrugs. “It was a job. It was an opportunity. It was a chance that wasn’t gonna pass up just because I didn’t think it was some revolutionary thing.” She pauses, wrapping herself up just a little tighter in the blanket. “My family moved out here after I got the job. I was fourteen, and they gave up everything just so I could do this.”

“You’re good at this, Pressman,” he tells her, softly, and it’s stupid how much those words mean to her.

“Thanks, Harry.”

When they’re called back onto set, she swears his eyes linger a second longer than they probably should. That means something to her too.

-

They film a kissing scene in the rain, and she swears her heart stop for a half-a-second.

The director yells cut, and Allie can’t help it, the way she’s blinking up at him, a bit like he hung the stars in the sky, or whatever other sappy bullshit you feel when you start to realize—

It just didn’t feel fake for a moment there. On Disney, everything felt fake. She’s just not used to things being this natural.

(There are two fuzzy blankets waiting for them off set. They still share.)

-

Shooting ends on a Tuesday, and they fly back down to LA together on a studio provided jet.

Harry spends the flight tossing popcorn at her while she tries to watch Notting Hill.

“You’re being obnoxious, Bingham,” she says, one earbud out, turning to glare over at him.

He grins. “Just trying to keep you from falling in love with Hugh Grant.”

“Not possible. I’m already in love with him.”

“He’s old now.”

“Still hotter than you.”

“Not possible.”

“Verry possible.”

He scoffs. “And living vicariously through Julia Roberts isn’t healthy.”

“Oh, you know from experience, don’t you?”

“I actually met her once, at the Oscars.”

“God, everything with you always comes back to that Oscar nomination, doesn’t it, Bingham.”

He lets out this sharp, surprised laugh. She bites back a smile.

“I’ll introduce you to her one day,” he offers, it’s softer, more genuine than cocky. They’ve never talked about any sort of future, any sort of friendship that follows them past this film. Her breath catches in her throat. Her heart stops once again.

“I think I’d like that.”

-

She has a tiny guest part on some broadcast television sitcom. Craft services has those chocolate croissants. She wraps herself up in a fuzzy blanket and eats three.

She asks Harry if he’d want to grab coffee sometime.

He texts back yes almost immediately.

She wraps herself up just a little tighter.

-

She sits on the couch in Harry’s childhood home and watches her Disney show with his little sister.

“You’re even prettier in person,” Sarah tells her, almost unabashedly, and Allie blushes a light pink.

From beside her, Harry grins. “The Bingham’s have taste,” he says, his voice almost a whisper in her ear, and that makes her blush a dark pink.

“Sarah’s my favorite Bingham,” Allie announces, and the girl smiles and laughs and leans her head on Allie’s shoulder.

This feels a lot like family, she realizes, the soft familiarity of it all.

She likes it. She likes it a lot.

-

The morning Oscar nominations are announced, she wakes up beside him in his bed, wearing an old shirt of his, something warm and soft.

They lay in bed and eat chocolate croissants and wait for the call. And the sun hasn’t even risen yet—it’s so fucking early—but there’s something like adrenaline keeping her awake. God, it’s so stupid to be this attached to an award, a little statue that means practically nothing, but…

Harry lays his head in her lap. She plays with his hair.

“And if I don’t get nominated?” she asks, softly, carefully.

He stares up at her. “Then you find another script to fall in love with and do it all over again.”

“And if I do get nominated?”

“Then we figure out how to sneak snacks in the Dolby Theater and you write into your acceptance speech what an amazing guy I am.”

She’s laughing as the phone rings, and he’s sitting up to answer it. And then he’s smiling, smiling so wide, and that means—

Allie’s crying and beaming, and Harry’s holding onto her like he’s trying to keep her anchored, trying to keep her from floating away, and—

It feels a whole lot like everything was worth it.

She’s happy.

send me song lyrics and a pairing and i’ll write you a drabble

#the society #drabble #hallie #yeah. i also don't really know what this is #a disney au? #actors au #idk i'm just complete shit at properly addressing prompts #also. it hit me while writing this that WE'LL NEVER KNOW HARRY'S SISTER'S NAME #and that hurts

[hollyhomburg]

I don’t think you ever said but did your chicken end up surviving?

Yes, it’s touch an go, she’s currently living in a verry big box in my old bedroom with my other baby chickens! She can’t really move as she has a broken wing and a broken leg, and we can’t do anything because she can still put a tiny bit of weight on it so it Dosent need to be splinted.

It’s hard, but all we can really do is just keep her comfortable and see if she survives. today marks 1 week after the attack- that means she’s the longest chicken we’ve had survive after an animal attack. And she’s not doing terribly, she can’t move- but she still cluks when you walk into that room.

So yeah- if she’s going to survive- we’ll know soon. It Dosent seem like she had any internal injuries because she would have died by now if she did. And she did lay one egg in the last week- which is a good sign! Thank you for asking!

[tum-blrb]

Sadie makes Sam chug half a 2ltr of coke because she's a freak (gets intimate but only mildly grafic)

"I want you to do something for me." Sadie says with a sultry albeit slightly terrifying gleam in her eye.

Sams response is eager without full understanding "Anything"

Sadie reaches under the bed and pulls out a bottle of coke. One of the few things preserved in the apocolypse is the soda factories. God knows what they put in those bottles now.

"Right now?" Sam asks.

"Tilt your head back." Sadie instructs him.

He complies and she unscrewed the lid to the soda and slowly tips it into his mouth. She's gentle as though she were watering a plant.

His eyes are wide as he struggles to gulp without choking.

She feels his hand tap her side and he pulls back trying to catch his breath.

He taps her shoulder again, this time helping her to hold the bottle as he drains it.

Glug glug glug...giant bubbles erupt inside the bottle as he quaffs down the coke. Soon they'll be in his belly.

Sam is in control now. Chugging from the bottle on his own.

Sadie places her hands tenderly on top of his swollen stomach and begins to kneed it.

Sam nearly coughs as he jerks away the bottle.

"Whoah...not yet. Let it settle."

He pets Sadie's hair gently and she lays her head against his chest, listening to the last of the soda go down.

He sighs long and deep as he pulls the bottle away. A sharp hiccup jostles his insides.

He struggles to keep his mouth closed around a harsh burp. "Happy?" He asks.

"Verry." Sadie begins to kiss him from heavy rising chest to his bloated belly.

"Sounds like its cussing you out." Sadie observes.

"It's definitely using some unsavory *glurrrrrp* expletives."

"Fuck I'm bubbly."

"Little nauseous?" Sadie asks tempted.

"Your gonna have to make me drink more if you want me to feel nauseous girl."

"Is that a good idea?" Even sady is a little uncertain at this point.

"I think I can handle it. Its had time to settle."

"Mmm problem is I'm all out of coke."

*blrf* "I may have some." Sam sluggishly rolls onto his feet.

Sadie whispers a laugh out her nose as Sam holds a fist against his chest.

*blurf* "excuse me." He makes his way to the mini fridge where he finds a large jug of chocolate milk.

He offers it with an inquisitive raise of his eyebrow.

"That's a terrible idea." Sadie tells him.

"You're probably right." He admits and exchanges the milk for a can of seltzer water.

"Mm your gonna regret this." Sadie grins.

"I'm all ready regretting it." Sam takes a deap breath and rubs his stomach.

Sadie removes the cap from the bottle and hands it to sam so he can control how much he drinks.

To her alarm the bottle flattens like a Capri Sun and he tosses it asside with the other empty bottle.

He looks a little pale now. A drop of water rolls down his chin and he catches it on his thermal sleeve.

His stomach loudly repremands him.

"Think it wants someone to rub it." He says half teasing. "Gently. Rub it gently."

The fire in Sadie's eyes dims slightly as she realises the reality of the situation.

"Ill go see if I can find some one." She grins.

He tugs her back down on top of him. His stomach feels like a jiffy pop. Tiny bursts inside stretching it bigger and bigger.

"Get back here." He shakes his head. "All though can you scoot a bit. My stomach's kinda full."

She sits up and series of tiny burps parade out of him. He bangs on his chest to launch one last little one.

"Mm may have downed that a little to fast." He hiccups.

"You good?" Sadie asks between kisses.

"Kinda woozy." His stomach is churning noisily "just *hrp* dont make me drink anything else."

He sits up, and his stomach gives a little slaush.

*BLURP*

he pats his exhausted stomach and accidently burps again

*Ulpppff*

"This is getting me goin." Sadie peels her tightfitting shirt off over her head.

Her hips magneticly hovering over his knee her breasts squished against the flesh of his swollen belly.

"You can try kneeding it now if you want." He says softly. "It might help to soothe it a little."

She leans back on her hips, now straddling the bloated mess infront of her and gently presses her finger tips into his gut. She squeazes slightly, working up gurgling burps and gentle moans.

"What do you want me to do right now?" Sadie asks.

"You know exactly what I want you do." Sam says as he struggles through some slight indigestion.

Sadie presses one last kiss to his droning stomach.

"I think I know what'll make you feel better."

#stomach bloating #belly ache #burping #bloated #upset stomach #sick tummy #stuffing #sick #soda chugging #chugging #gulping #bleh #glurp

[xroguex1027]

Writing warm up.

Valdemar: This is Volta 069. If you can eat more than her then ill let you out of that little cage.

Having not eaten for days Julian expects no competition. How much could this tiny little lady possibly eat?

Normaly he would make a sly quip but having been starved for three days he only feels pain. He doesn't have the energy to speak.

Instead he just smirks at the odd proposal.

Valdemar: Do you accept my challenge?

Julian: When I was training under doctor satrinava we worked with these orphaned children. They were starved hadn't eaten in days. I of course brought oranges with me to protect against the scurvy. I thought I might share some with the children you see? But doctor Satrinava told me-

Valdemar: DO YOU ACCEPT?

Julian's stomach growls on cue. Not such a coincidence as its been groaning for three days straight.

Julian: I accept.

He's locked in a little room with two tables and two chairs. Each table is piled high with food. A little lady sits strapped to one chair her hands bound behind her. She's salivating like a dog.

Valdemar leads Julian to the other chair and straps him in.

Valdemar: Whoever eats everything on their table first will be released and given the prize.

Julian: Oh there's a prize? I'm not sure I like the sound of that...maybe If you were a bar made or say perhaps a magi-

Valdemar: Shut up and eat 069. Your opponent has all ready begun.

Valdemar has already unstrapped Volta's hands and she proceeds to dive face first into a blueberry pie.

Julian cautiously takes a bowl of porridge, something that will be easy on his malnourished stomach.

It feels good, warm, his stomach feels tight and empty but some how this room temperature porridge is soothing.

This is a competition though. He's nearly forgotten in the coma of his comfort food. He reaches for the top of the pile and also takes a blueberry pie.

He has no utencils to eat with. The porridge he could just tilt down his throat but this is solid food. His arms are fastened to the table at the elbows to insure he doesnt try to escape.

He lifts his hands up and turns toward to valdemar

Julian: Do you mind

With a roll of their eyes Valdemar removes Julian's gloves. Anything to hinder his progress.

Julian: You're most kind.

Valdemar: EAT!

Behind Valdemar Voltas pile of food has all ready been significantly reduced.

Julian hiccups as he shoves his last handful of blueberry pie down his throat.

It doesn't find its way easily. And the sudden sugar rush has him a little woozy. He should probably counter it with something healthy.

A chicken leg, he takes and tears it apart. It's tough and dry. He needs something to drink but there is nothing near by. An orange rolls from the pile and he takes it and peels it with his greezy hands. Its the closest thing he has to wash something down.

He squeezes each slice over his mouth before. Dropping down his throat.

Valdemar: Hurry Devorak. Your opponent is gaining on you.

Speaking of gaining now that the poridge and pie have settled Julian's deprived stomach is starting to feel a little full.

This is about the point he would end a normal meal but there is still a good 75 percent of the pile left to eat.

He decides its best to eat the heavy stuff first that way it will be easier to pack in the little things like cupcakes and beats at the end.

He attacks three sandwiches first, eating them faster than he thought he could. Next is a generous slice of chocolate cake. He's trying not to swallow more air than food to save room but it proves an ineffective strategy. He cracks open a pickle jar and begins to munch them two at a time. Three at a time.

The restraints are pressing into his bubbling stomach. He wishes he could move his hands to rub it but his arms won't bend that way because of the restraints.

Julian: *EEEERRRUUPPP* I feel sick.

Valdemar: Your opponent is almost done devorak. If you dont want to be chained up here forever I encourage you to continue.

Julian winces at a vinegar and chocolate flavored burp.

He begins to peel the five or six hard boiled eggs infront of him. He slurps them down one after another. His stomach is pushing through the gaps in the restraints.

A cramp twists in his lower stomach.

Julian: UGH

Volta: Done! Oh please. Oh please let me have me have his I'm so verry hungry.

How, how can she possibly be hungry? Julian peels another orange and remember the rest of his encounter with the orphaned children.

Dr.Satrinava had told him not to feed them too many. Their tummys were weak from starvation and they wouldn't be able to digest a lot at a time.

An unsavory growl rose from Julian's chest and manifested as a belch.

Julian: Does this mean I can stop?

Valdemar: Do you want to be free?

Julian: I thought freedom was the prize?

He was beginning to hope Valdemar had some seltzer water as a consolation prize.

Julian struggled to lay his head between his elbows. His swollen belly gargling pie and eggs and pickles and none of it was sitting well at all.

Volta: No. No. Its more food. Surely its more food.

Julian moaned.

Valdemar: oh no. Its something much better.

From their coat they produced a shiny knife.

Volta: For cutting right? Is it for cutting me a slice of pie or cake?

Julian was having difficulty stomaching words pertaining to food. Voltas enthusiasm was the icing on the cake.

He was having a nauseous staring contest with the cupcakes in front of him.

Surely he'd be sick.

Valdemar: Not for slicing food.

Volta face fell but Julians brightened with curiosity.

Valdemar: But when our Dr here finishes all the cupcakes I have so generously provided for him you can have all the food you want.

Volta: *gasp* yes yes he must eat. Oh doctor you must. I'm starving.

Valdemar picks up a cupcake and brings it to Julian's lips.

Now that there is a knife involved Julian isn't sure he wants to risk disobeying.

He struggles through every last cupcake. And nearly loses it as Valdemar spins his chair around to cut him free of the restraints.

Julian: hrng!

His stomach is significantly larger, bloated, full, and gurgling unpleasantly. The cramp has spread upward into his chest.

Finally free Julian rubs his tinder stomach.

*Glurp*

Julian: Did-did I eat all of that?

Valdemar: Not quite.

The devilish courtier unscrews the lid on the pickle jar.

Julian: its empty

Valdemar: Ide look again if I were you.

Julian nearly gags

Julian: The juice? You want me to drink the juice?

Valdemar: if you want to be free 069, you must consume everything.

Julian chugs the jar of pickle juice. It dribbles down his neck, the vinegar burning his cuts and scrapes from being bamged around inside a cage.

An awful burp threatens him when hes finished.

Valdemar cuts the last of the restraints digging into Julian's belly.

Ohhh his belly. His achy nauseous belly. Its so full it hurts so much. He's sweating with pain. He may be free but he can't move.

*Bluuurrrrppp*

The burp does nothing to settle his stomach.

Julian: Make it stop.

He grimaces and leans forward hugging his stomach.

Several burps rise from his gut each louder and wetter than the last.

Valdemar: Oh dear Volta it seems our doctor has eaten himself sick.

Volta: Its all because he didn't share

Volta whales.

Valdemar: of course the best way to unstuff something is to take out the stuffing.

Valdemar hands Volta the knife.

Volta: Oh is there stuffing? Stuffing and turkey?

Each time she mentions food Julian's stomach grows weaker. He's so nauseous that he's almost unconscious. Before he realises what they are discussing the cold edge of the knife is pressed against his taught stomach.

Julian: Do your worst.

Volta presses the point into his belly and a crimson drip slides down to his navel.

Julian Winces with an Oof and bights his lip.

Julian: Feels good

He's lying. An acidic burp gets stuck in his throat and he starts to cough.

Valdemar: What are you doing?

[gravelgirty]

Captain Carrot Toys for Hogfather!

Captain Carrot Toys for Hogfather! Part 1

Marcia Wilson

*

This is 100% inspired by THIS POST from Thescarletpaperback regarding a Hogfather celebration with Captain Carrot action figures.

First. we’ll ask why the emphasis was all on Carrot, and not his Commander Sam Vimes, because Carrot wouldn’t take this kind of honor over his boss, nosirree.

Toymakers initially tried for Sam Vimes toys, because--reasons. That mess with the dragon and all that hoopla with Weatherwax (and we don’t mean the Wizard Weatherwax, thank you), positively begged for merchandise. It started when one of the Junior Assistants to an Apprentice Toymaker came home to find his children dressing up wooden clothespins and having small armies of The Watch parade over the kitchen table and defeat the awful evil represented by his husband’s Mystery Meat Soup. His oldest had gone so far as to pencil a cigar poking out of the crayoned mouth of the scowling clothespin.

This close to Hogfather, obviously, something needed to be done.

Veritable Upshot then went forth and on his five-minute luncheon breaks, begged for workshop scraps the Toymaker Guild was going to throw into The River, anyway. 

 (Every respectable Guild made sure to dump a certain level of carbon-based garbage into The River every week; it gave the gaseous-producing micro-imps something to eat and distracted them from too much gastrointestinal mischief. This custom was started by the Assassin’s Guild, who felt the inconvenience of a river that liked to combust at the most inopportune moments).

The toys were a Hogfather success, with all the children so delighted with their own Watch and opponents that they forgot to shake down the Hogfather Wreath for the hidden hog bladder stuffed with candied minnows. Veritable Upshot sat back weary with the delights of a Job Well Done and accepted a glass of steaming Cheese Wine brewed and bottled by his own beloved, Oregano Salsify. Together the couple toasted each other for a memorable holiday--so memorable, in fact, that the children completely ignored the lack of a decent meal on the table and were dispersing to the winds with their wooden watchmen. Unbenownst to them, their children would be soon renting out limited amounts of time for the other children to play with the Wooden Watch, and that payment was inevitably in the form of Holiday Excess. Late that night, Salsify did wonder about the slightly-gnawed ham basket left on the doorstep, but homemakers for 6 orphans and a Junior Assistant to a First Level Apprentice Toymaker learns to pinch pennies until they’re thinner than cabbage stamps.

It’s Sam Vimes who discovers the toys, because Young Sam comes back with his mother gabbling about how his father has his own ‘statue’ now in the main square. Vimes needs a little time to figure it out, but luckily for Sam and Sybil, the lad’s hand gestures approach fluent bilingualism, and legally, there is no minimal height requirement for an Ankh-Morpork statue.

He dons his oilskin against the wintry damp and takes a little stroll down to that little spot the Watch pretends to not know about 23 hours a day. It’s Midday, that one hour in which the worst of weather shows itself without pity. In summer the heat bakes the dirt into the stones; in spring the rains rinse all the collected leaves, dead mice, bird’s-nests, and forgotten Assassin’s daggers off the roofs and into the gutters. During Hogfather, the snows pile up high and deep and soft, one hour a day, around the Square, and children are there to play.

Vimes is a bit nostalgic about those dirty little urchins playing at the Square. He used to be one, and snow is nicer than playing in watery gutters or trying to bake mud pies out of horse patties in the summer. The first thing he sees by the Old Sundial is a well-assembled army of child-sized Snow Yeti, beasts the Trolls invoked to make their children go to bed at proper hours.  The dirty white lumps are lurching across the open face of the Old Sundial that rules the Square and defeating them is a small wooden collection of his very own Watch.

Sam watches from behind a cloud of fresh cigar as the villains are routed by not brute force, but sensibility. The tiny wooden Sam is marched up to warn the yeti one last time that they should obey the law, and when the yeti refuse, littler wooden Cheery Longbottom and not-littler Captain Carrot stride forth and the children are yelling proper legal imprecations because as everyone knows, it is highly illegal for beings made of snow to approach a municipal drinking water source before going to the bathroom.

Sam Vimes is both charmed and terrified at the enthusiasm of these children, and he can already see them grown into a Watch cloak. Especially that girl, who looks like she’s got a few different species and a lot of energetic output to channel in her brain.

But it is the youngest child, a tiny little thing with smoked glasses over his eyes that pulls at Vimes’ heart and copper strings at the same time. None of the kiddies have seen enough in the way of regular meals, and he remembers a little girl on his old street, blind, and her parents couldn’t afford real medical smoked glasses so they made their own by passing the lenses over a smoking wick. Later the mum went into what can only be politely called a life of crime to pay for treatment; people like her are why Vimes flexes his muscles with the letter of the law every day.

This little boy is smiling like Young Sam does when he has a very precious thing in his fingers, and those fingers are running over the carved doll that is Cheery Longbottom. Of course, he thinks, Ironwood for Cheery.

It doesn’t surprise him that the blind child knows he’s coming; his boots crunch loudly in the snow and his knees pop as he lowers himself to a better level.

“That’s a nice toy you have,” he says.

“Me Papa made it!” Was the proud answer.

“Oh?”

“Yes! Someday he’s going to be a Toymaker!”

Vimes asks permission for and gets, the chance to examine the wooden Cheery. Toymaker masters aren’t really ‘allowed’ to make toys on their own and he’s been called to too many complaints from the Guild, which they call a Sodality, not a Guild because Guilds must pay taxes. So often it means jealous old bastards against rising new talent. This has the look of talent. There’s love in these little nicks; love for the craft, the child, and for Cheery.

He’s halfway through a gentle interrogation of the toys when someone who absolutely must be a parent comes puffing up, staggering through the uneven snowdrifts. He’s got patches on his patches but everything’s clean, and the hair sticking up in all directions was hand-cut.

“Oh, dear!”

“At ease, Salsify.” Sam pulls one of his spare cigars out. “I was just admiring the workmanship here.” And he grinned. “Takes a bit of skill to make decent tools out of scroungings, doesn’t it? Because as I recall, the Guild keeps everyone’s tools under lock and key during work-hours.”

Salsify flushes, and the former lockpick lifts his chin. “A bit of a challenge,” he answers stoutly. “Did you know the dwarves just toss out their stoneware mugs when they get broken? All those wonderful high-temperature ceramics turned into flowerpots, or…or crushed into cobbles for their driveways!” He shudders. “Nothing like a ceramic tipped knife for cutting the vegetables, let me tell you. And never need sharpening!”

“I never thought about it, but that’s good to know.”

“I’m still living clean, Sam.” Salsify whispers under the shouts of the children. “I’m still at the Cheese Vineyard. Very and these children are everything to me. I’m not going to ruin it.”

“I know, Orrie.” Sam returns. “I didn’t expect to see you at all. Young Sam saw the toys and came back chirping.” He blew a smoke ring. “Glad to know Veritable finally got in with the Guild--Sodality.”

Oregano Salsify’s response is to snort sadly and look away. The children may look lean, but they’re well-fed next to the reformed criminal that lived on the next step over from Cockbill Street.  “They’re hard to work for,” he muttered. “Everything he does, they take the credit for it. I told him he would be better off with the Miniaturist’s Guild, but…well…a Toymaker gets more in sales when they finally become a master craftsman.”

“Which only takes ten or fifteen years, eh?” Sam wonders sarcastically. The two share a look that understands when one’s partner in life and love might be doing things the hard way because they think it is better for everyone.

“Tell Verry I have some work for him.”

“He’s not allowed to make toys on his own.” Orrie whispers, frightened.

Sam grins. It’s the sort of grin his wife’s swamp dragons cluster to, because they know it means fun things. Like chasing assassins.

*

Lord Vetinari is settling down to his breakfast the following morning when he gets a not-unexpected message from the City Watch. By ‘not-unexpected’ it means that it has been almost a week since Sam Vimes did something to stir things up in the city, and if anything, he’s overdue.

He’s almost finished reading it through when John Polliwog-Offal, lawyer for the Toymaker’s Sodality, comes storming in. Lord Vetinari is an excellent reader of emotions and knows when all five of the man’s chins are quivering with indignation, he’s going to approve of whatever caused it.

*

Lady Sybil is quite accustomed to her husband coming home with an acquaintance for dinner. This one is a shy, shabby little man with six various-sized tattered children, all of which are terrified of Lady Ramkin, but it isn’t long before the baby dragons and Young Sam puts him at ease. She loads them up with plenty of bacon and potatoes, and a glass of Cheese Wine from the country—his own work! Oregano learns from the table-talk that she paid far too much: the real vines hadn’t been ready to bud in the Century of the Cobra! Sybil promises to do something about that.

Young Sam charms him into teaching him how to make swamp dragons out of his mother’s linen napkins and a twist of shoestring. Sam goes to bed early hugging his new contrivance to his chest and the adults stay up a bit later to talk—well, mostly to complain about the price of food in winter. Oregano’s children are food-drunk, napping on the floor with their napkin-dragons. After drawing him out a little bit on the finer details of his life and work, Sybil makes certain Sam won’t let them leave until all are properly packed off in the snowstorm in their private carriage with one—make that two—heavy baskets of ‘leftovers from the kitchen’.

They watch his pale white hand, waving frantically good-bye from the open window of the carriage until the snowswirls swallow them all up.

“Sam,” Lady Sybil asks sweetly, “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that it’s a bloody crime that the Toymaker’s Guild is the only Guild in the city that doesn’t have to pay taxes.”

“Oh? But they claim they shouldn’t because their purpose is to improve life and joy in the city.”

“That was their excuse.”

“And they’re a Sodality, which doesn’t exist in the city legal code dictionary.”

“That was their lawyer’s excuse.”

“Lord Vetinari can’t out-maneuver everyone, Sam. I’m sure he’s already plotting to get Ank-Morpork’s rightful dues from them even as we speak.”

“Oh, I have no doubt you’re right about that, dear.” Sam says blandly. And he smiles. In the barn, the dragons purr.

*

The children are delighted. There’s no warning: they get their Papa Verry home every evening in time for supper, and something good must have been added to this fortune because there’s suddenly a lot to eat. Papa Orrie’s kitchen smells like spices and seasonings, and the grease-cup holding the leavings from meals is brimming full, enough to fuel the little fat-lamps at the table at dark. Their flat is warm. Staying indoors with lessons is a lot more enjoyable than going outside and running for warmth now. They go to be full and content and believing Hogfather’s was somehow extended to an extra-long holiday.

*

Spring arrives, and with it, several things happen all at once:

1)    The snows peter off. This is a relief to deliverymen and citizens everywhere—too bad about the trolls, but they consider this unexpected cool weather a bit of a special treat. “And not long enough to bring in our relatives, either,” Detrius grins. Trolls have no illusions about peacekeeping in hot weather with 3,500+ extended relatives.

2)    The Watch has its own Siege Table. It’s as good as Lord Vetinari’s, a model map of the city and a gooey stripe of some mysterious substance caged from Moist von Lipwig’s rejected stamp glue to resemble The River. Every member of Sam Vimes’ Watch has their own carved representation, except for that dratted Imp, who is weirdly shy and wants only his camera-box carved instead. Everyone universally dubs Angua’s forms, both human and werewolf, to be amazing but there’s a moment of silent awe for Veritable’s skill in capturing the unique…nuances…of Nobby and Colon. There are also carved Guildsmasters, Wizards, and a few of the more restless political players.

3)    Lord Vetinari has his own carvings too. He puts his war table in his office for everyone to see when they come in. Especially for those who are the average height of the average Toymaker’s Master (pity about those stooped over shoulders and curved spines, they really should modify their work-tables).

a.    There are also a few ‘test carvings’, as Veritiable described them, and when Commander Vimes isn’t looking, he’ll come in to find a little Weatherwax (not the Wizard) facing a carved-cringing storekeeper, or the Cheery Longbottom standing on a wooden Detrius’ head to pull a tiny wooden cat out of a tree.

 *

“It would seem, Commander Vimes, that you are in an ineluctable position with the Toymaker’s Sodality.”

“Oh?” Asks Vimes.

“Oh. Yes.” Lord Vetinari nodded gravely.

Vimes waits for further elaboration, as usual. As usual, Vetinari humors him.

“It claims that you have taken one of their members and put him to work on…non-Sodality business, and remind you that it is quite against Sodality Law to have one of their members make toys without pre-approval of the Sodality.”

“This is police business, not toymaking. And the last I checked, I have the right to pull anyone I want out of anyone’s Guild if I so choose, for reasons of my choice, and the Guild has to pay a day’s wage to said member to compensate for each day they are under conscript.” And he grins again. “I’ll be sure to have Captain Carrot come around with all the paperwork.”

“Their lawyer may have some quarrel with that, Commander. For starters, you are claiming the Sodality is a Guild.”

“Oh, my mistake. The laws are still in effect, though.”

“How so?”

“The Conscript Laws apply to all citizens of Ank-Morpork, and whoever is conscripted, their employer, or representative of the entity represented by the lawful labors, efforts, craftsman and volunteerism must pay said conscript a day’s wage as designated by the city’s Treasurer to be adequate for holding body and soul together.”

Why was it, the Patrician wonders, it is simply impossible to pass a fortnight without the presence of Moist Von Lipwig? He glances up but Drumknott is already sliding in with a file comprised of City Law, summarized, itemized, and stamped.

“I confess to surprise, Drumknott. I am not aware that this vote was made—granted back in the Cobra’s Century—with such universal approval on part of the officials.”

“I daresay, sir,” ventures the worthy Drumknott, “It is because at the time it was still quite legal to pay someone to serve the city in one’s stead. Paying a willing fellow a day’s wage for every day they must face a crossbow or spear in the spirit of Civic Duty is really quite the bargain when you think of it.”

“An excellent point, Drumknott.”

“However,” Lord Vetari’s brows float up upon his stern Patrician’s Brow. “If we fail that point in court, there is the matter that a lowly Assistant to a Junior Apprentice in the Toymaker’s Sodality is paid nothing at all until they reach the rank of Full Apprentice.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really.”

“That hardly seems fair.”

“Oddly enough, the Guild’s Lawyer is saying the same thing. Why pay a day’s wage for a conscript if they never pay him in the first place?”

Commander Vimes scratches his head thoughtfully. “That’s a decent point,” he muses slowly, “But, as I recall from the First Code of the Watch, the Watch is under no obligation to pay a conscript if the project is a matter of security for Ank-Morpork. And creating interactive models of the city, to be used in times of tactical and strategical intelligence, falls under security.”

Lord Vetinari never has to fake his disapproving look when it turns out Sam Vimes is actually reading up on the laws of Ank-Morpork.

“So you say, but it would appear from the financial pages that have reached my desk, the Watch was paying Mr. Upshot wages on top of the wages the Sodality was compelled to pay.”

“I beg your pardon, sir? We were feeding him. Can’t have a hungry man on our rolls. It looks bad and makes for shoddy work.”

Vetinari lowers his pen, because he absolutely can’t wait to hear this explanation. “Are you saying a Junior Assistant to an Apprentice Toymaker needs a meal chit larger than all of your Trolls during the month-long Limestone shortage?”

“Why, no, sir! But he’s got a family to feed, you know, and he was feeding them first before he was feeding himself. We had to strike a balance somewhere.”

“And the other expenses?”

“Perfectly legitimate, sir.”

Vetinari picks up an offending sheet of paper. “You bought him a half-gallon of Children’s Croup Syrup.”

“It is Croup Season. He has a sensitive digestion, I heard. Can only take children’s potions most of the time.”

“And the receipt for twelve pairs of socks?”

“He does a lot of walking to get here, sir.”

“Children’s socks?”

“He has small feet, I heard.”

“You heard? You mean you don’t know?”

“I haven’t seen his feet, sir. They’re always underneath the hem of his Guild robe.”

All right. This is definitely one of his more interesting interviews with Commander Vimes. “And if I approach the…dispensers of these goods, such as, say…(glances down) Weatherwax, he would truthfully assure me the croup potions are for your conscript?”

“What? No, sir!” Commander Vimes is appalled at the very idea. “That’s Miss Weatherwax, your Lordship! Not the Wizard Weatherwax!”

“Ah, my mistake. I wondered how he had suddenly re-appeared without explanation…” Vetinari rested the paper on top of the others. “Commander Vimes, from Hogswatch until a week before the approach of Creator’s Birthday, you have approved for the expenses of Conscript Veritable Upshot, food, socks, Children’s Potions, the services of a dentist no less than seven times, a cord of slightly-used firewood, a tinned sheep’s head (extra eyeballs), four all-expense paid trips to the village of Bad Ass in Lancre, trips to the Watch and back home (presumably when they didn’t feel like walking in their new socks?), a nanny goat named ‘I-am-a-Goat’, a gross of pencils, primary schoolbooks, and a standing credit account to collect broken crockery from the Dwarves at the Rocanahadplyce Quarry and Tavern.”

Sam Vimes tilts his head. “What about all that, sir?”

Vetinari’s composure becomes exponential. Anyone else would be looking for the trapdoor to the dungeon by now—praying for it. “All of this. All of it. What would you do with a tinned sheep’s head anyway?”

“He was supposed to get one, and he was working for us and couldn’t get to market on time.”

“Extra eyeballs?”

“The most nutritious part, I’m told, sir. If you return the tin you get a refund, so it’s really the same price as regular.”

“Slightly used firewood?”

“It was in a fire.”

Lord Vetinari closes his eyes for a moment. “Why would someone name a goat I-am-a-Goat?”

“You’d have to ask Miss Weatherwax, I’m afraid. She said that was its name.”

“Miss Weatherwax. Not Wizard Weatherwax.”

“Never is, sir.”

“No. No, it never is.”

“You could ask her, sir. She’s not against questions from my experience.”

“But she is against the questions I tend to have.” Vetinari reminded him. “Is she behind the trips to Lancre?”

“I believe so. Something about treating poor eyesight.”

“Pencils? Schoolbooks?”

“We were taking away his time to finish schooling.”

“A grown man taking primary schooling?”

“He grew up in the Shades, sir. These things come late.”

“Broken crockery, Commander?”

“Yes, sir. He was keen to get his hands on some.”

“And you didn’t ask why?”

“He said he’d pay us back.”

“…Of course he did.”

Silence ticks on and on as the two opponents wait for the other man to speak. In the background lurked Drumknott, who wanted to know which man would crack, because he really did want to know the story behind a market for broken Dwarf crockery.

“What, Commander, do you predict will happen when the lowliest of the lowliest members of the Toymaker’s Sodality returns to his masters considerably richer than everyone else, with the exception of said Masters?”

“I can’t rightfully say, sir. Mightn’t they be happy for their poorest member?”

“They’re claiming you are willfully trying to bankrupt them, Commander, by luring their members to the Watch.”

Sam Vimes thinks that one over. “Coppers aren’t paid that much.” He points out. “But they have food on the table and they pay their taxes all the same.”

Vetinari steeples his fingers together. “A point, admittedly. Do you have anything you wish to pass on to them? I shall be glad to give them your words on the matter.”

“Oh, that would be fine, sir.” Sam pulls out his cigar, unlit, and clamped it in his teeth. “You can tell them that the Watch considers all members of the Toymaker’s Sodality their first choice for Conscription, seeing as how they are the only Sodality that doesn’t pay taxes.”

“They are in fact the only sodality in Ank-Morpork, Commander Vimes.”

“All the more important to set a good precedent, sir.”

“Are you, the father of a young child, declaring war on the toymakers, Commander?”

“Not at all.” Sam smiles. “But, see, the way I understand it…the Toymakers can’t enjoy the benefits of paying taxes. They’re last for medicines and road-cleanup, no emergency food boxes for the holidays, because all these things are funded by taxes. Now, it isn’t so bad when you reach Master’s Level, and you get an annual income of $500 a year plus your own house and expenses met…it’s the lower members that I worry about, sir, and while we do know that toymaking is a very honorable profession that brings much joy and quality of life to Ank-Morpork, we have a bit of a…surfeit of joy with the monies. It really is a shame that there isn’t a…redistribution of all this joy and quality of life so that it is more even for everyone else.”

Vetinari is so damn proud of Commander Vimes, it is all he can do to keep his disapproving calm on his face. “I shall be glad to summarize your observations. One last question before you go?”

“Sir?”

“Your requisitioned supplies were enough that you could have made more than two Siege Tables.” The Patrician rises and runs his fingers over the model city.

“Always better to make room for human error, sir.”

“Of course.”

*

It never takes Vetinari long once he has a chip in the power game. Before the week is out, the Toymakers announce a move forward into the future and pay taxes, secure in the knowledge that there are more ways than one in which one can generate joy and quality of life.

“Which they should have done long ago.” Lady Sybil sniffs over the teapot. “Now everyone there can afford to feed their little ones.”

“Yes, dear.” Sam happily crunches his bacon. She had the burn just right this morning.

“Oh, are those lovely children coming over for Creator’s Birthday?”

“We did invite ‘em. Both the parents said yes.”

“Splendid. I’ll make certain everyone has a little gift—something not so very practical for once; something pleasing for the self-esteem, like a nice schoolbag with lots of pockets, or diaries for writing.”

Sam is puzzled. “Isn’t something for the self-esteem practical? Well, I wouldn’t know.”

“No, dear. And we really ought to have something for our guests, seeing as how Young Sam will be getting the most outrageously extravagant gift of all.”

“Now that is practical, and I’m not really giving it to him, I’m just letting him play with it.”

“You’re giving a small child the use of a Siege Table?”

“Well,” Sam grumps, “He’ll be taking over for me someday…might as well be prepared.”

*

And this is why the Toymakers’ Sodality—that is, Guild, is less than enthused over the topic of Commander Sam Vimes.

But that little matter of ‘image royalties’ is a whole different story.

#Captain Carrot merchandise #Hogfather #Discworld #thescarletpaperback