#shenko fic

[skinnyazn]

Maybe he missed that constant adrenaline, but everything now seemed trivial compared to those last months before the end. How does cleaning the house compare to saving the galaxy? As much as he wished for it in the moment, he was struggling with the peace and domesticity.

New fluff Shenko fic up! In which Kaidan struggles to find his place in the world after the war, but with a little help from Mom, he'll be ok. Just a sweet fluff Shenko fic with a happy ending for those two. Full fic below.

Lowkey inspired by how Ben Affleck proposed to Jennifer Lopez lol.  ____________________ It was cold on the deck. Kaidan’s breath was visible in the air as he overlooked the still lake. Autumn was nearly over; a few fire-red and golden leaves lingered on the baring trees as evidence. At dusk, the lake had a special way of feeling like a dream, with fog creeping in through the tree-line; its calm waters patiently listening. Kaidan spent many evenings on this deck with his father just before he enlisted—asking for advice as he tried to figure out his place in life. He wished his dad was here tonight. But his parents had gifted the lakeside cabin to him and moved to a smaller property in the city to help rebuild. Something productive to do in their retirement, they told him.  He missed those talks now more than ever. Once the war ended, it was hard for Kaidan to find his place in the world again. After all that loss. After the Normandy crew had done so much. Fighting each day without knowing if they’d see the next. Maybe he missed that constant adrenaline, but everything now seemed trivial compared to those last months before the end. How does cleaning the house compare to saving the galaxy? As much as he wished for it in the moment, he was struggling with the peace and domesticity. The fog had now meandered to the border of the water. He reached in his pocket and pondered the velvet box. This normalcy was what he wanted, what he asked for every day of the war. So why couldn’t he just enjoy it? His mom told him it’s his karma—that everything works out in the end and that it would be alright. Their being alive was evidence of that. And in his heart Kaidan knew his place was right here. But tonight his mind kept roaming to the what-ifs. He looked to the water for advice. Its stillness was its only response.  “Yeah,” Kaidan sighed and pushed off the edge of the deck. His breath suspended in the air behind him as he made his way back into the house. She was in the bath upstairs; her red hair slicked back as she lay in the steaming water. It had become something of a ritual for her as the weather got colder. Helped with the pains and aches. The last six months since she woke from her coma were filled with endless physical therapy, and this was one way to help loosen all of her muscles. Kaidan walked up and kissed her softly on the head.  “Hey,” she smiled and looked up at him. “Goodness, you look frozen. You were outside long?” “Yeah, just a bit. I’m fine.” Shepard gave him a curious look, but didn’t pry. They each had their own ways of handling the aftermath of the war. “Well, you could always hop in here to warm up,” she replied, swashing the bath water a little.  “And get third-degree burns?” he joked back. “It’s not that hot,” she rolled her eyes and smirked. “Big baby.” Kaidan chuckled and sat on the floor next to the tub. He gazed at her. She was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. The years could never take that away. Her scars this time around were prominent throughout her skin, unlike her cybernetic scarring in ’85. He liked it better this way. It gave him more places to kiss—to be thankful for. “What’s up?” Shepard moved to the edge of the bath and looked at him, a slight concern on her face.  “Nothing, just taking you in.”  “Kaidan…” “Honest.” Shepard gave him a look but didn’t push it. He reached over and took her hand. They stared at each other in silence, fingers intertwined.  “Not the happily ever after you imagined, huh?” Shepard spoke after some time. She looked at her body and the scars and the replaced limb.  “Don’t say that,” he grabbed her face and pulled it toward him. His kiss was genuine. Shepard put up a front at first, then gave in. It was slow and sweet and so very Kaidan. She leaned back and rested her head on his forearm, which sat on the edge of the tub. He stroked her cheek.  “You’re still the most gorgeous girl in the galaxy to me. You know that." “Alright,” Shepard snorted and kissed his forearm. “Mr. Romantic.” It was true. He loved Shepard beyond compare. And every day she chose to wake up next to him, Kaidan was beyond thankful and he wanted her to know it. But as the months rolled on, anxiety got the better of him. Good things had a habit of never lasting long—and things had been really good lately. Could life really be as simple as this? Waking up next to the person you love and just enjoying it? No strings attached? No Reapers or Collectors on the horizon threatening taking it away from you? Shepard studied his face as he was lost in thought. “Wanna talk about it?”  He focused back on her and sighed. “It’s just something that’s been on my mind for some time and I’m not sure how to… how to bring it up.” “Oh,” Shepard spoke, her face suddenly deflated. “Not like that,” Kaidan let out one of his husky chuckles and squeezed her hand. But Shepard still looked unsure.  “I love you Shepard.” “Okay… I love you too, Kaidan.” “And you know it’s been a bit of a struggle for me adjusting to this ‘peaceful’ life,” he continued. “That makes two of us.” Characteristically Shepard, she had been eager to get back to work within a few months after waking—to do something other than simmer in her pain and current ineptitude—but the Alliance ordered her to take time off, indefinitely, to recover and heal her extensive injuries. That also extended to Kaidan, who was listed as her primary care giver. Kaidan wasn’t the only one who felt like a tiger kept in a cage.  “That said,” he took a deep inhale, “I’m trying, Shepard. I’m really trying. To just enjoy the present. Here. With you. And not take any of it for granted.” Shepard smiled and squeezed his hand back. But she sensed where this was going. “I appreciate that, Kaidan. And I’m so thankful for you. But I don’t ever want you to feel obligated to stay here with me—” “That’s not what this is about,” he cut her off before she could continue. “You know I’m never leaving your side again.” She pursed her lips to the side, but didn’t press on.  Kaidan let out a sigh. Why was he so nervous? This was something he’s needed to do since ‘86. Just rip the bandaid off, he told himself. He cleared his throat and wiped his palms on his jeans.  “Shepard,” he reached into his pocket. “You are the love of my life. I knew that from the moment you walked in on the bridge of the SR-1. That it was only ever going to be you.” He took the box out of his pocket. He fiddled the opening ridge with his thumb. “I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I think after taking down an entire army of sentient alien robots that we can probably handle what it throws at us next.”  Shepard’s eyes were on the box now. Her mouth went slack.  “So, Amidala Shepard, will you marry me?” Kaidan opened the box. His mother’s simple emerald engagement ring was inside.  Shepard’s eyebrows shot up. A big smile spread across her face. And she let out a laugh; a big, hearty laugh. Kaidan waited, “…Is that a yes?” Shepard simply hugged him, wetting his flannel shirt with sudsy water. She clung around his neck as he returned the embrace; two damaged pieces that still fit perfectly together. “Of course it’s a yes, you idiot,” she smiled into his neck. He could feel her fast heart beating through their hug and smiled back in relief.  Kaidan held her like this, savoring every detail of the moment. She was so warm and smelled like home. Shepard was still giggling as he pulled back to look at her. “It’s my mom’s ring,” he said as he took it from its velvet box, “given to her from her mother.” He placed it on Shepard’s finger; he noticed her hand had a slight shake to it. “And now it’s yours,” he smiled proudly, honey eyes gazing into her vivid green. The ring glinted under the warm ambient light of the bathroom. Shepard tilted her hand, mesmerized its beauty.  “It’s gorgeous, Kaidan.”  “You like it?” “I love it,” Shepard moved to kiss Kaidan. Softly at first, then more thoroughly as his hands roamed down her bare back. “I love you,” she smiled. “I love you too,” he replied between kisses. “So are you going to get in this tub now to celebrate, or do I have to pull you in?” Kaidan chuckled huskily. “Hey, Doc said no heavy lifting, remember?” “Shut up and get in here already.” But Kaidan was already taking off his wet shirt, “Ma’am, yes, ma’am.”

#shenko #shenko fic #mass effect #mass effect fic #fluff #happy endings #mass effect 3 #post me3 #femshep x kaidan #kaidan alenko #commander shepard #femshep

[sewermageboy]

Thinking about the relationship between Joker and Kaidan.

How they've both been there since the beginning, how their first scene is them sitting together in the cockpit of the Normandy, teasing each other. How Joker sticks by Shepard's side the entire time while Kaidan doesn't. How Joker judges Kaidan for not coming to fight the Collectors. How Kaidan blames Joker for causing Shepard's first death. How Joker knows Kaidan is right to blame him. How they're both back on the Normandy in the end, saving the galaxy. How they can both lose the person they love (Shepard and EDI) to save everyone else.

#i wanna sink my teeth into their relationship #how do you move past all that? #how do you reconcile all that betrayal and blame and guilt? #i've some exploration of their friendship/relationship in fics that made me think and now i can't get it out of my head #kaidan alenko #jeff joker moreau #joker mass effect #mass effect #mass effect legendary edition #shenko #mshenko #edi mass effect

[acciokaidanalenko]

Don’t Leave Me Behind

They’d almost made it. Together. Just like she had promised. But, once again, things hadn’t gone according to plan. Kaidan felt a knot tightening in his chest as Natasha’s gloved hand landed against his cheek. Her piercing, bright blue eyes met his gaze before she quickly studied his face. He felt the contusions and cuts, but they didn’t matter. He had medigel. He could still make it.

“Look at me, Kay. How bad is it?” she asked as she met his gaze again. Her finger brushed against the small cut on his forehead, smearing the blood from the wound. Garrus watched over them, his head on a swivel as he made sure they were safe in this vulnerable moment. Kaidan looked up at Natasha as she knelt beside him and nodded his head.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Nat. We can do this. Just let me slap some medigel on it,” he answered through labored breaths. Several broken ribs wouldn’t stop him from finishing this mission. His hand moved to activate the automatic dispenser on his omni-tool. He couldn’t stop the wince that fell from his lips at the movement.

Natasha’s hand moved up to her ear as she activated her comms.

“Normandy, do you copy? I need an evac right now!”

Her tone was urgent and demanding, and he could sense the panic she felt as her eyes swept over his body, taking stock of his current condition. His armor had mostly done its job, but there’s only so much it could do to protect him from a mako exploding beside him. He quickly glanced toward the Turian on his left, noticing the scorch marks on his armor and wondered how bad he must look in comparison.

The knot in his chest tightened at her words, and all he could think about was the promise they’d made to one another the night before. This isn’t how this was supposed to happen. He was supposed to make it to the beam with her. They were supposed to make it to the end.

Together.

The sound of an engine drowned out everything else as the Normandy landed a short distance away, and Kaidan was hefted to his feet by Natasha and Garrus. They quickly led him toward the ship that would take him away from here. Away from her.

Kaidan’s heart began to race as the door to the docking bay opened to let them in.

No. She can’t go alone. She was alone over Alchera. She can’t be alone for this.

“Natasha, no!” he yelled as she started to move away, the space between them suddenly more painful than the broken ribs in his chest. Garrus was the one mostly supporting his weight now, and he kept his hold on the soldier as Natasha turned to face him.

“Kaidan, you have to go. You’re injured and I need you to be safe,” she answered as she stepped closer to him again. “If there’s one thing that will keep me going, it’s knowing that you’re okay.”

“Please, Nat, I can’t do it again.” Kaidan’s expression was pleading as he reached toward her. “You made me leave you behind over Alchera. Don’t leave me behind.” She hesitated for a moment, but then she stepped forward, falling back into his orbit. He found it easier to breathe again.

“I love you, Kay. Always,” she said as she reached up to cradle her hand against his cheek. Her tone had changed, softened, as she attempted to comfort him. “You have to let me do this. One last push, and then it’s over. We can finally rest.” It did nothing to assuage the tidal wave of guilt crashing over him. It felt too much like the Collector attack three years ago. He couldn’t shake the feeling that if he let her go, he’d never see her again.

“I love you too,” he replied, his voice breaking as he tried to hold back the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He reached up and gripped her hand in his, squeezing it lightly before she pulled away.

They’re running out of time.

Vega suddenly appeared, attempting to help them get Kaidan aboard quickly so Natasha could return to the mission objective. He’s wearing his armor. And perfectly healthy.

Kaidan’s fingers roughly gripped the collar of Vega’s armor, pulling him close as London burned around them.

“You have to go with her, Vega,” Kaidan ordered. His tone was dark, and Vega stared at him for a moment as if processing what he’d said.

“Aye, aye, Major,” he finally agreed as he quickly glanced toward Natasha. She’d backed away from Kaidan slowly, watching them from a short distance.

“She survives this, or I’m holding you personally responsible, Vega. Do you understand me?” Kaidan’s tone was dark, and Vega nodded his head in answer.

Kaidan’s gaze wandered past the lieutenant, to where Natasha stood, waiting. They’ve already said their goodbyes, but he refused for this to be the end. She insisted this time. Last time she’d sent him away he’d watched her vitals fall as she’d spun over Alchera. So many things had been left unsaid, unfinished.

Not this time.

“Do whatever it takes. Just make sure she doesn’t try to do anything too… heroic.” His tone had softened as he looked into Vega’s eyes.

“Hey, don’t worry, L2. I’ll have her back to you in no time,” Vega answered, trying to reassure not just Kaidan, but also himself. They both knew that Natasha was willing to do whatever it took to end this. No matter the cost.

Kaidan swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing that last time he’d lost more than her. The same would happen today if she didn’t make it. The finale of the Reaper War was happening, and all he could do now was wait for its conclusion.

Losing her once was hard enough. He’d been a shell of himself, his world darkened without her presence. It would be even worse a second time.

“Come on, James! We have to get to the beam!” Natasha yelled over the chaos surrounding them.

Vega reached up, his hand gripping Kaidan’s which still clung to his collar. “Kaidan, trust me.”

“Just bring her back to me.”

#processing my own grief #just a rough draft #Kaidan is my comfort character #kaidan alenko #commander shepard #mass effect #commander natasha shepard #me3 #shenko #super canon compliant even though this isn’t how it’ll go in my long fic #britt writes

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF PRIORITY: MARS (PART 1)

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Maj. Kaidan Alenko, Lt. James Vega, and Dr. Liara T'Soni Sophie, I don't know what you are- or who. Not since Cerberus rebuilt you. For all I know, you could be their puppet- controlled by The Illusive Man himself. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

#mira makes gifs ✨ #shenko #james vega #kaidan alenko #sophie shepard #liara t’soni #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #priority mars? more like priority shenko! #she’s a 2-parter bc there were too many good scenes to gif i literally couldn’t not gif all of them tbh #like mars is just peak shenko content even if it’s not canon to me #the expressions the conversations the glances the PINING it’s everything to me #the way shep looks at kaidan when they talk about what they’d lose if they fail 🥺 #bioware i am in your WALLS over that scene in particular #‘is this what they did to you?’ sends me to ANOTHER DIMENSION and i need to write a whole ass fic off that line alone #bc it’s so good and there’s so many emotions tied to it #like the entire conversation between the two of them there is literally emotional damage for me and even if it’s not my canon it’s so GOOD #also PV with the see through visors saving my life on the elevator ride too?? like the expressions are so good #and cleric’s gorgeous shadow broker guardian set too like??? #the fashion is just top notch for all these emotional moments #on a side note s/o to james for literally being in the middle of the most awkward couple’s spat in existence and being so casual about it #he’s everything to me tbh #him and kaidan are my loves #james vega and kaidan alenko men that you are #i’ll stop ranting in the part 1 tags now ✨

[lavampira]

trust fall

malena shepard x kaidan alenko. mass effect 3; post-geth dreadnought. 2k words. [also on ao3]

Malena doesn’t scream when her hand misses the ledge. Her heart races like it’s in a damn marathon as she floats in zero grav, which in its defense, she has been trying to outrun the explosions behind her, and a hoarse gasp rips past her lips in sheer frustration that’s mirrored by someone swearing over the comm, but she does not scream. Not even with the imploding geth ship under her.

“Shepard!”

Tali, her brain supplies. She ignores her for the time being. She’s on autopilot now, maybe flipped that switch from the moment she had to walk her way through space not even five minutes into this mission, reliving an experience that she definitely would’ve preferred not to again. But she can think about that later.

Her mind does run through a mental list, though. Garrus. Tali. Legion, whom she hadn’t expected to see, but she can’t say that she’s unhappy about it even with that chunk of her old, charred N7 chest plate still fused over his circuits. The first two are safe. The latter snatches her hand out of the air, tugging her back to the walkway to lead her through a new escape plan.

Someone else—Joker, maybe—calls over the comm as they flee in a geth fighter, Legion at its helm. She thinks she answers this time, but she can’t be sure. Briefly, she thinks of Kaidan, still on the Normandy in a search for his students when they’d left, but she pushes aside those thoughts, too. Her teeth chatter and muscles shake with the excess of adrenaline the entire way.

As shitty as the mission has gone, she’s almost surprised that they make it back in one piece.

The relief when they finally pass through the airlock and her boots are firmly back on the Normandy floods her. It’s almost funny in a warped sort of way, considering she’d died on the last one. But Garrus lightly knocks her shoulder’s armor plate with a gentle fist on his way past her, that simple reflex of their old routine after all these years briefly settling her frayed nerves, further grounding her to the sanctuary of her ship.

Not that it lasts.

Malena stews through the Quarians’ debrief. She wants to kick the admiralty off the ship, wants to yell over the conference line that it was stupid to start a war with the galaxy at stake and even stupider to fire on a dreadnought with the woman bending over backwards to help them still on it, but she does none of those things. She bites her tongue hard enough for the metallic tang of blood to fill her mouth and plays at civility with her trembling hands folded behind her back until it’s done.

The fact is that more than her frustration that so few people are willing to consider the risks of division while the Reapers decimate whole worlds, and being the one in the unfortunate position of trying to hold them all together with scraps of hope to even stand a chance, she hates that this is the mission threatening to undo her.

All because of her own fear.

She can fight through fear—her entire career has been shaped around her capacity to do it and accomplish the impossible in spite of it. But in the aftermath when the adrenaline ebbs and the quiet sets in again, that’s the real pain in the ass. By the time that she manages to scrub the sweat from her body and soot residue from her armor, change into a plain tee that she’d confiscated from Kaidan some time ago and hangs slightly loose over her frame, and lower herself to her cabin’s lounge with her face in her hands, it’s begun to eat away at her composure.

Malena was born in space. Her childhood had been spent moving from ship to ship with parents in the Alliance, never spending much time on any singular planet besides infrequent visits. Her adult life had been dedicated to serving the Alliance herself, training at Arcturus and Grissom, going through the N7 program, and then bunking on other ships until she had one of her own to command. She’s trained so thoroughly for spacewalks that she could damn well do one in her sleep. It should’ve been like any other day for her.

The problem lies in the fact that she had died in space, too. Blown right out of her very first ship trying to save her pilot, suffocated in her own malfunctioning suit, and burned in Alchera’s atmosphere, only to wake on a Cerberus lab table two years later with recreated parts that still discomfort her thoughts and residual terror from the experience seared into her psyche, apparently.

Kaidan eventually finds her in her cabin—or theirs, she supposes, now that he’s tentatively moved in his belongings for some semblance of normalcy as a couple despite everything else going to hell around them—with a soft hiss of the door granting him access. She can tell by his quiet pause at the entry that he’s skimming the room for her.

“Hey, there you are,” he calls softly. She doesn’t know exactly what her face shows when she finally glances up, but it must be a doozy because his thick brows furrow, and he adds, “You okay?”

I’m fine, Malena wants to say. How many times does she say it in a day? Fine, fine, fine. Chin up, back straight. It’s a necessity on a ship—if others see their commanding officer lose her shit, morale goes right out the airlock. And so Commander Shepard has the situation under control, and if she doesn’t, then she’ll get it there.

She opens her mouth to speak, but her voice breaks before she can form a word.

Kaidan is there in an instant. He kneels in front of her, searching her face with those soft brown eyes until she ducks her head. If she looks at him too long, she will cry, and that will only worry him more. She can only imagine what his train of thought was already doing while she was aboard that damn ship.

Guilt pools low in her gut and propels her forward, sinking into the warmth of his arms that open instinctively to hold her. His stubbled cheek prickles against her skin as he leans his face against her, but she doesn’t mind, tethered by the familiarity of that simple gesture. She rests her own head on his shoulder, allowing herself this singular point of comfort.

“So, rough day, huh?”

Malena huffs a laugh into his neck. “Understatement of the century.”

“Yeah. If you want to talk about it… I mean, I don’t know. You’ve listened to me through the hard things. I want to be here for you, too, if you’ll let me.”

“You always are.”

“Not always,” he returns ruefully. “But I’d like us to be better.”

The heaviness in his voice forces her to draw back to see him better in the dim lighting of the room. Her palm finds his cheek, letting her thumb sweep away the regret pulling at his features. In so many ways, Horizon and Mars still haunt the space between them as much as her death, every step to get past it seemingly a monumental one at times. But they’re trying, and that’s enough for her.

She could deflect it with a joke. It would be so easy to do it, shooting him a little smirk around a teasing comment, maybe bring a soft laugh out of him for even a moment. It doesn’t feel right with all his earnesty on display, though. Not when her resolve is still so close to shattering in his arms and her latest brush with death, far too similar to the real one, lingers over their heads.

“Hey, you’ve got me,” Malena finally says, trailing her hand to brush back a dark curl fallen over his forehead. “This is when it matters. And you’re here.”

The corner of his mouth twitches as if fighting the urge to smile. “I thought I was supposed to be reassuring you.”

“Well, maybe we both need a little of it right now.”

“Yeah. Maybe you’re right.”

Kaidan reaches for the hand still cradling his face, twisting it to press his lips to the sensitive skin of her wrist, right above her pulse. A reminder that she’s alive, though she can’t be certain if it’s more for his sake or for hers. All she knows is that it’s become a habit ever since they decided to stop holding back how they feel for each other and a comfort all the same.

Before she can react to it, he rises from the floor and slides easily into the space beside her, tugging her close with an arm wound around her back. Part of her wants to protest that she still has reports to make before she can allow herself a reprieve. But she also knows he will just fight her on it, equally stubborn and insistent in his care, and so she caves into it. She rests her head against his shoulder and settles her strong thighs over his lap, his free arm holding them in place.

“These are the moments that scare the hell out of me,” he says quietly.

“What, cuddling?”

“No.” An uneasy laugh escapes him. “Thinking of how I could’ve lost you again, and how I wasn’t even there.”

Malena swallows around a lump in her throat, but she steadies herself, tightening her grip on him for purchase. Last time he had voiced something like it, she’d quipped that she had a problem staying dead anyway. Guilt still gnaws at her chest for how horribly quiet he had gone, how tense and rigid his body had grown with her remark. No matter how much she wants to brush off the thought, even to alleviate the dour mood, she doesn’t want to go there again.

Instead, she confesses, “It scared the shit out of me, too.”

It might have been her lowest point yet. The walk between ships had seemed vast and endless, only made longer by how often she’d stopped to double check her omni-tool that her suit was still intact because everything was so silent save for her labored breathing in rattled bursts. Even with Garrus’ snark to keep her company over the comm channel, she couldn’t fully hide the damn shake in her voice with each response. Her heart had been hammering hard enough in her chest to feel lightheaded and unsteady in her boots by the time that she got the other entry open for the others.

“Yeah, I… Well, Garrus might’ve mentioned it. I mean, I’d figured it could trudge up some memories, but he seemed pretty worried, too.”

Her eyes squeeze shut as she buries her face further into him. “That traitor.”

“He’s looking out for you. Can’t fault him for that.” A placating kiss is placed on the top of her head. “You know, you’re strong, Mal. Maybe the strongest person I know. But even you can be shaken up.”

“I can’t— I’m not supposed to show it.”

“You can with me. I’ve got you, remember?”

Kaidan draws her closer to emphasize his point, or maybe out of his own reassurance as well. It doesn’t alleviate all of the residual fear and frustration, Malena finds, but some of the weight does feel marginally lifted from her chest with the fervent honesty in his words. She raises her head to respond, but her throat feels too tight to speak, forcing her to take an alternate approach.

She presses a kiss to his temple, right on the dark hair flecked in more silver than it had been a few years ago. You do.

Another kiss to his stubbled cheek. Thank you.

And a final one to his lips, ignoring the uncomfortable chafe of his fatigue pants against her legs as she shifts in his lap to face him more fully, desperate for the proximity as he matches her breath for breath. I love you.

If he doesn’t understand, Kaidan doesn’t say. He simply takes the gesture in stride as he finally allows himself a small smile against her lips. And Malena has to admit, letting herself drop the veneer of unshakable strength is as exhilarating as it is terrifying with the man who loves her doing his damnedest to get her through it, despite everything they face.

It’s a trust fall, but it’s one she realizes she’ll make every time.

#dani writes things #game: mass effect #fic: mass effect #oc: malena shepard #ch: kaidan alenko #malena/kaidan #mass effect #mass effect 3 #mass effect fic #shenko #fshenko #femshep

[ripley95]

A Genuine Counterfeit

Series Link

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Igniting the Fire - Available Here Now

Summary:

A first prequel to "Echoes of Old Embers." After defeating Saren, Shepard and Kaidan are left with a big decision about the trajectory of their relationship. With the regs looming over their heads, it’s time to consider what they want. What better way to figure that out than some shore leave?

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Echoes of Old Embers - Available Here Now

Summary:

After Shepard lives from the war, one of her biggest regrets was rejecting Kaidan at Apollo’s. Fate has a funny way of bringing Jane and Kaidan back into each other’s lives. A misunderstanding with Kaidan’s family makes him and Shepard relive old history and question where they stand.

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A Spectre's Proposal - Coming April 9th

Summary:

More than a year has passed since the Reaper War ended and Kaidan and Jane have settled right in to domestic life while they contribute to the rebuilding efforts on Earth. As normalcy begins to set in, so do old problems. News hits of piracy out in the traverse, when the council calls on them for a secret mission only the two of them can fulfil. The nature of the mission leads them to think about what they want from their relationship.

#my writing #echoes of old embers #new series announcement #shenko #f!Shenko #f!Shepard #Kaidan Alenko #mass effect fanfiction #romance #fluff #angst #a genuine counterfeit #my fic on tumblr

[forlornmelody]

Reunion.

Kaidan isn’t sure what had possessed him to return to Earth. She never returned his message. No “Oh hey.” Not even a “Fuck you. I never want to hear from you again.” He wasn’t even sure she was alive until he saw the headline beaming on one of the pillars in the Wards. 

Disgraced Commander To Return to Earth. 

It’s not a recent picture. She’s been hard to pin down lately. Not even Anderson seems to know what she’s been up to. Or if he does, he’s not telling Kaidan.

But Kaidan has other strings to pull. And so he finds the Alliance base at the end of the Normandy’s (not the real Normandy’s) flight path. It’s not too far from Kaidan’s hometown. He can visit his parents the same day. And say what exactly?

Oh hi Mom and Dad. Guess what? My ex is a terrorist  and a war criminal now. Crazy, huh?

The ship docks and the lock clamps down with a final clang ringing out over the hushed crowd. Her airlock hisses open and a shadow steps out, hands held up in surrender. It’s hard to make out her face in the pouring rain, but with the way the crowd of journalists clamor for her attention--it has to be her. She steps forward, slowly, and a squad of guards meet her, shackling her and removing her biotic amp. They escort her slowly towards the barracks. Kaidan’s heart hammers in his chest so fast he swears he’s forgotten to breathe. 

Her eyes catch his, briefly, blankly, before she quickly looks away. All of Kaidan’s doubts seem so distant now. Shepard’s alive. Inexplicably alive, breathing, here, and he’s never going to get to hold her again. And it’s his own damn fault. 

For months after her death, Kaidan had dreams about seeing her again. Alive and in one piece. A hundred different ways they’d reunite and everything would be as it once had been-or how they once had dreamed. Those dreams both comforted him and haunted him. Discharging from the Alliance together and finding some peaceful cabin up in the mountains somewhere.

Not like this.

#mass effect #ficlet #kaidan alenko #femshep #shenko #melody writes #been a minute since I wrote any fic for this fandom #enjoy and lemme know what you think?

[baejax-the-great]

End of Year Fanfic Rec List

I thought instead of five fic Friday, I'd go ahead and rec some of my favorite fics I've read this year.

Completed Fics:

A Young God's Heartbeat by @luddlestons. Thanatos x Zagreus (M). A modern AU in which Zagreus is a good Midwestern boy going on an impromptu road trip with the god of death while his father tries to murder him.

Reap the Whirlwind by @stripyjamjar. Thanatos x Zagreus (M). Zagreus was raised by his grandmother in a secluded garden, but that doesn't stop Thanatos from stumbling on him and striking up a friendship. Upon learning of his parents, Zagreus breaks into Hades to find them.

Cantata by @swaps55. M!Shepard x Kaidan (M). Almost 200k words of Mass Effect prequel and hopeless pining on the part of Kaidan Alenko. Action, adventure, found family, and space cadets in love.

regreso el amor by artifice. Achilles x Patroclus (M). A short fic of music, growing up together, and pining between friends.

Fics I hope to see next year (aka WIPs!):

Twin Flames by @johaerys-writes. Achilles x Patroclus (E). Patroclus is the squire to his best friend, the Prince of Phthia, who left him behind for years. Now he faces icy silence and icy conditions as he accompanies him to his wedding.

Fugue by @swaps55. M!Shepard x Kaidan (M). About a month into their relationship, the Normandy is attacked. Some of the best angst I've read, and the chapter on the Normandy going down is honestly a must-read.

Face to Face by @juliafied. Thanatos x Zagreus (M). After Zagreus disappeared while Thanatos was in college, he swipes him on a dating app. The result is so bitter and awkward and petty and delightful. Good luck, boys.

When Death Incarnate got banished to France by Marro. Thanatos x Zagreus (G). Thanatos is banished to live among mortals. It goes about as well as you'd expect. He gets a cat. It's adorable.

On the Ropes by @redsmear. Patroclus x Zagreus x Achilles (E). Zagreus picks up a boxing coach and a new Dom at the same time. No reason to believe they know each other or that the angst will have you staring listlessly out a window for hours.

#hades game #tsoa #mass effect #thanzag #patchilles #patrochilles #shenko #fic rec #rec list #feel free to make your own so I can find some more reading friends =D #I scheduled this post #but death getting banished to france updated TODAY so #early christmas for ME thank you fanfic writers for making the world more fun

[nowandthane]

Transmissions

Decrypted communications between Cerberus operative Mars Shepard (CO Normandy SR-2) and Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko (Systems Alliance).

4 chapters, 1.6k words, completed.

a silly snippet for you :3

Mars: dont you miss this? (Attached is a picture of Mars Shepard in a provocative pose, wearing a black N7 hoodie with seemingly nothing underneath, unzipped to show cleavage. Her scars emit a soft red glow.) Kaidan: This is inappropriate. I shouldn’t even be having secret communications with you while you’re working for Cerberus, and we definitely shouldn’t be doing that. Mars: spoilsport. the kaidan i knew said fuck regulations. and got fucked. hard.

art by @menacingmetal THANK YOU SO MUCH MY FRIEND I LOVE YOUUUUU and ALSO thanks to @xoshepard @asgardianhobbit98 @grim-starling for reading this and giving me silly dirty suggestions xD

#mass effect #mass effect fanfiction #my fics #shenko #kaidan alenko #commander shepard #mars shepard #nsft #nsft text

[infiltraitor-n7]

I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | VIV | X | XI | XII

After Alchera, Kaidan starts to forget.

Kaidan is tired today. But tired isn’t quite the right word—fatigued? Exhausted? Depleted? Gutted? As his mind ticks through the possibilities, each word becomes more visceral. Gutted becomes eviscerated, eviscerated becomes vivisected. And he realizes that he isn’t simply tired, or drained or depleted, but rather he is consumed—his current state is not a simple equation of no sleep equals exhaustion, but rather no sleep plus the ever-festering absence of something that, with each day, becomes less and less defined, divided by memories of before multiplied by memories of after, the migraines that still come and kick him while he’s already down, until his life is no longer defined by what is, but rather what is missing, a negative image instead of positive contours, and he lies awake in his narrow bed and feels—devoured.

He feels and feels and it’s so heavy. He feels so much that it compresses, gains its own gravity, expands and expands, mass compounding mass, until it’s all too heavy, until he is collapsing, the clichéd black hole, and he is the negative image, the entity that people are aware of not because they see it, but because of all the objects around it that can be seen, and there he is, the void at the center, proven by inference instead of observation.

But that is just today. Just today, a bad day. It has been a year already. The bad days, like the missing thing, have faded somewhat. There are some days where he is not a black hole. No, not so much a black hole. Many days he is a brown dwarf—a quiet, failed thing, with neither the mass to combust into starlight nor to collapse into the sucking vortex. Neither planet nor star, neither living nor dead, he is simply there, floating, simply there, existing.

But those are just some days. Other days, other days he wakes up, he showers, he makes himself coffee without any whiskey at all. He has an appetite, he eats a big breakfast, he ticks through the news sites. He lifts his hand in greeting passing coworkers in the hall. He still mostly eats dinner alone, spends quiet evenings watching mindless dramas, re-runs of Blasto movies flickering in the dark as he drifts, still unable to sleep that well. As he drifts, he can imagine a day, sooner rather than later, where he will leave Arcturus and he will work again, really work, not just sitting behind a desk but doing what he had always intended to do with the Alliance: some good. When the other days outnumber the bad days.

What jettisons Kaidan from a decent day into a bad day? What is the equation that one solves for renewed devastation? The absence, it’s the absence, and the speed at which the absence simultaneously softens and sharpens. He hadn’t known Shepard for that long, after all. A small, hitched breath, there and gone before you know it, almost silent in comparison to the great cacophony of the rest of his life. What is one year stacked against thirty? The math is simple. He begins to forget. Small things. The exact texture of Shepard’s hair. A joke shared, and he can’t remember who told it. Did Shepard tell him? Or did he tell Shepard? Who laughed the hardest? The exact ratio of gun oil, coffee, sweat, and Shepard’s skin that made up the scent that used to soak Kaidan’s sheets, his hoodies, his own skin. Every detail that fades is a new loss, grief compounding grief, mines on a timer, buried in the dirt. The right steps don’t matter; he could navigate the minefield perfectly, avoiding every single trigger, but in the end he is still in the field, because it is never-ending, and the numbers are ticking down. One morning he wakes up, and he has to watch a vid to remember Shepard’s voice. A decent day gutted and skinned, stripped to reveal a very, very bad one.

Because every picture, every recording, the tangible things Kaidan must rely on to remember, to remember, lose their effectiveness over time, until it is not Shepard under his shaking fingertips as he traces over the lines of Shepard’s face in some battered photo, but rather the idea of Shepard, a Shepard construct, a collection of fading facts that fail to constitute the whole of who Shepard was, really was, as a person, and who Shepard was to Kaidan. Every memory aid is a collection of diminishing returns, red sand to an addict, each hit packing a weaker high. Kaidan, as he lies awake at night, worries about the clock running out, a day he wakes up and can’t remember much of anything at all. Just a name, some photos, the vague feeling of being carried to safety slung over strong shoulders, a hitched breath in the dark. He knows the math is simple, and the hits will just keep on coming. Because he knows that the clearest memory at the end of it all will be the one he wants the least—the one that remains while Shepard’s laugh, scowls, scent all fall away: the picture-perfect image of a body struggling in space, and the long fall into a bright planet.

Today, Kaidan is devoured. But that’s just today. Tomorrow is another day. And the day after that, the math tells him, is yet another. He will do what he has always done; he will muscle through. Through Jump Zero manslaughter, being a messed up kid with a jack in his head, lost amidst the apple trees under Canadian grey skies; through boot camp and clawing his way up through Alliance ranks with the migraines pounding behind his eyes as steady as the pounding of the SMGs; through the comms going dead on Virmire and the Council turning its back, through fists lifted in victory amidst the burning cherry blossoms of the Citadel. His mind blanks after that. In theory, the days continue after that halcyon period post-Saren, the Normandy awash in success and its crew flush in confidence that whatever the galaxy had to hurl their way, they would prevail, because they had each other, and they had Shepard.

Until they didn’t.

The days did continue. He knows this. Today he’s just tired, that’s all. Tomorrow will be another day, and then one after that, stacking and stacking, and he will muscle through each one, as he has always done, and each new missing memory will render guilt, yes, and the gaping, stomach-heaving loss, but also-yes, he must be honest with himself if with no one else: also, relief. As each memory fades, so does the pain. A kind of cosmic debt collection. He is paying his dues, one dulled recollection at a time, coins falling from a ripped pocket, unintentionally paid but good currency all the same. He will get through each day. He will pay and pay. Until finally someday, some not so special day-not a good day, nor a bad one-he too will get to rest. His friends will do as he asked, and there will be another escape pod. They will lay him gently in the small space, a softer occasion than the last time he was in one; this time, no sirens wailing or fires burning bright. This time, they will jettison him into that dark night, high over the curving horizon of Alchera, and he’ll finally get to rest, as close as he’ll get to matching grave plots, but he figures it’s enough. Finally, enough.

#shenko #mass effect #my fic #after alchera #fanfiction #it has been 80 years since i posted fic #mytext #kaidan alenko #grief is a gift that keeps on giving

[pyrorawr]

Dinner Date - A Shenko Smut

I am probably going to go crawl under a rock and never come out again after posting this, but I finally finished one of my first ME and more importantly, Shenko pairing smut! Heads up, it is probably not as good as others >.< But I hope you like it!

~~

They've just had a nice dinner date and have a moment to themselves. That is, until Shepard gets an idea.

~~

“I think I know a way to burn off these calories..” Shepard smirked as she let her hand slowly glide out of his, and rose from the couch. 

They had just finished a nice steak dinner, made by yours truly, Specter Major Alenko, joined by a few bottles of Canadian beer and a quiet moment to themselves. The only noise came from the quiet hums of sky cars that zoomed past her apartment windows. He knew this moment could not have felt more right. No more reports needing to be written, no meetings to be a part of, no galaxy in need of saving. At least not at this moment. Instead, here she stood in front of him, their full attention on each other.

#mass effect #writing #shenko #kaidan alenko #commander shepard #fan fic #smut

[skinnyazn]

Hehe finally finished this Shenko piece for my fic, Heat of a Cold Night. Enjoy!

#art #my art #mass effect #me #shepard #me3 #me2 #commander shepard #shenko #shepard x kaidan #kaidan alenko #lemon #fan fiction #fic #shenko fic #mass effect legendary edition #mass effect fanart #post horizon #digital art #digital painting #shenko smut thursday

[halesshepardn7]

Finally got around to finishing this chapter.

#mass effect #kaidan alenko #commander shepard #shenko #femshep x kaidan #mass effect fan fiction #ao3 #2 years 8 weeks 4 days fic #shenko fan fiction

[ensevuhn]

Ok, but Shepard in a Fallout AU where, as a soldier before the bombs fell, she dies and is brought back to life by an Institute-like org -coughcerberuscough- but she's a synth and doesn't even know it.

#it's late and i shouldn't even be awake #why am i thinking #about combing my 2 favorite things #mass effect #and post-apoc stuff #send help ok #i can't be allowed to do this #monkey wrench time... #it's a shega fic #not a shakarian #or a shenko fic #ok seriously #going to sleep now #fallout #rue.txt

[ficbrish]

Breaking Regs Comm

This post is so long overdue! I got back this amazing comm by @guchaigue the other week (or last month?). I love it so much!!! ❤️‍🔥

It’s a scene from my fic, Breaking Regs, where Estrella Shepard and Kaidan get “distracted” on their way over to see Anderson after the Citadel battle in ME1.

I don’t know what I love about it more 😭 The little smile on Shep’s face as she kisses Kaidan’s cheek, the Citadel souvenir t-shirts, that Geth Colossus they’re on top of, the way the light frames them amid the destruction--All of it is my favorite. Every detail!!! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 I really, really adore it.

You can find the fic here or on AO3! 💖🥰💖 [Tumblr] [AO3]

@guchaigue​ is so lovely to work with, and her art is PHENOMENAL! Please consider her for future commissions 🥰

#shenko #estrella shepard #kaidan alenko #breaking regs fic #mass effect #mass effect 1 #mass effect fanart #commission #fshenko #kaidan x shepard #Shepard x Kaidan #BrishFics

[lavampira]

time will tell

malena shepard x kaidan alenko. mass effect 2; post-horizon. 1.2k words. [also on ao3]

Malena returns to the Normandy SR-2 in a foul mood. She’s given a wide berth as soon as she steps through the airlock, and even Joker elects to keep his comments to a minimum, unable to completely withhold the crack about her confrontation on the surface but clearly using it to gauge how bad it’d gotten. Only poor Kelly tries to speak to her, but she blows past her with a dismissal wave and an internal promise to apologize once her adrenaline has ebbed. No one else breathes a word. Frankly, she doesn’t blame them.

She beelines for the showers to cleanse herself of this entire shitty day. Her failures cling to her like the dirt, grime, and blood on her body, and she has to again grapple with the discomfort of facing the missing scars from battles and childhood antics as she scrubs viciously at her too smooth, yet still freckled skin until light beige turns pink. Her icy eyes are severe in the mirror’s reflection as she dresses, though she can’t even face herself for long these days.

It’s only when she returns to her cabin and flops unceremoniously into the chair at her desk that she finds what Kelly had been trying to tell her. A new message at her private terminal, specifically from someone who she hadn’t exactly thought she would hear from again. Not after today.

She reads Kaidan’s message twice simply to process the fact that he had more to say to her. Again, a third time, trying to wrap her head around each and every word through the emotions they trudge up, her frustration once again building to a breaking point. An apology for what he’d said planetside. An admission that he’d been stuck in his own feelings, too. So much left open about their past and their future. Yet still a hard line about his views on her allegiance, even if worried for her.

Her fingers fly over the keys before she can stop them, already typing up a response.

Shove your apology up your ass.

Malena immediately deletes it. She doesn’t mean it, not really, even as much as his words still sting. He had hit too close to the shame that has gripped her since she woke in that damn lab. Maybe she has become a dirty sellout in her resurrected life, nothing but a traitor to her own principles and her past, making a deal with the devil in hopes that she can save a galaxy that’s once again in denial of the truth.

The fact that the Illusive Man all but admitted with a smirk on his smug face that he’d fed the Alliance rumors to manipulate their encounter only makes it worse. She hates that he’s seen through her to know exactly who would hurt her the most, displaying some show of power that while she has free reign of the mission, he can still distort her life and put the people she cares about in the crossfire if they threaten his goals involving her. And he remains the only one giving her the resources to deal with the threat.

She steels herself and tries to type again.

Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m being used. Maybe I’ve gone off course from myself, but I’m on my own here. Nobody will listen to me. No one else is willing to help.

Her fingers backtrack over the keys. It’s not like Kaidan had been willing to hear her out either, too caught up in his own emotions to let her explain. But as frustrated as she is that he turned away from her, and devastated, if she’s willing to admit that much, she gets it, too. Her actions don’t align with the woman he knows and trusted once upon a time. If anyone told her months ago—or two years, she supposes—that she’d be cooperating with Cerberus, she would’ve had a few choice words for them. Maybe even a strong right hook to a jaw.

Hell, Kaidan had been there when she discovered that Cerberus had been behind the Akuze ambush. When she closes her eyes, she can still see his tight grip on the Mako’s door as she had gunned it to evade the thresher maw lured there in yet another of their sick experiments. She can still hear his gentle voice talking her down after she throttled Cerberus’ sensors and took apart their heinous labs, nearly breaking her own damn ankle despite her armor with a few unnecessary kicks for good measure, and feel his careful hands apply the medi-gel before wrapping it for her.

A slow, shaky breath escapes her as she runs her hands over her face. More than the residual terror from getting spaced and burning in atmo, more than the grief over the years that she lost while dead on a table, more than her own guilt and shame for the shitty situation she’s entrenched in now, and more than the ache of everything he’d slung at her on Horizon in the heat of the moment, she just misses him. Sinking into his arms before it all went south had been the first real bit of relief she’s felt in weeks.

I wanted to reach out to you, Kaidan. That night together before Ilos was everything to me, too. And I’d meant it when I said you make me feel like I could take on the impossible. I could use that steadiness right now.

With a frustrated noise in the back of her throat, Malena deletes the entire draft and shuts down the terminal. Her hand swipes at the stupid framed photo beside her, knocking it on its face so she doesn’t have to look at his face, unsure whose bright idea it even was to put the thing in her cabin. But then she lifts it with a tentative hand, flipping it around as she draws it into her lap.

The ache in her chest only deepens as she examines it, running a thumb over the likeness of his thick, furrowed brows, but she can’t squash down the fondness that also blooms through her. Timing hasn’t been on their side. So much caution and tiptoeing around the regs while on such a high-stakes mission had prevented them from officially getting anywhere, always on pause aside from that night, and then she died, leaving him with two years to mourn their almost, and her to be confronted with it now.

Kaidan loved her. Still does, maybe, if the concern and open-ended offer to see when things settle again mean anything. It’s only now that she realizes that she may love him, too. Leave it to her to charge into the thick of a situation head-on, only figuring things out once she gets there. And it’s so damn hard to let it all go, no matter how much she hurts.

Malena sets the framed photo back on her desk and rises to her feet with a languid stretch. They might very well only ever be a series of almost and maybe, but maybe, if they really are the same people who fell in love two years ago at the end of this shitty mess, and if her luck doesn’t run out and she survives this suicide run, they can see where they really stand. Only time will tell.

#your honor they are so stupidly stubborn and unable to communicate and i am unwell #dani writes things #game: mass effect #fic: mass effect #oc: malena shepard #ch: kaidan alenko #malena/kaidan #femshep #shenko #fshenko