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lazywriter-artist · 1 year

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Time for some character headcanons!!!

I've been storing these on a discord server for the last few months and now I can drown you all with them.

Josuke + Okuyasu headcanon:

Josuke always claims he is 'waiting for the right one' when asked about dating, describing someone who makes him feel happy to be around them, they get along great, and can fight but still love one another

Not realizing he is exactly describing his relationship w/Oku and exactly how he feels about oku cause he is a silly little aro/ace spec bean bby (Probably demi or gray)

Okuyasu & keicho:

Keicho and Okuyasu are very close to one another due to their experiences in childhood, and while keicho is a bit agressive towards his brother due to not knowing how to cope with his anger he still is very protective of Okuyasu, so anyone threatening Oku receives an immediate death sentence. Be it because they're trying to kill them or someone scolding oku as the brothers don't do well with being shouted at.

Jotaro headcanons:

There are few people jotaro will let make contact with him without a very close connection, example his mom and even then he is adverse to the touch, but one being stands above all the rest. One man can invade his personal space (within reason) beyond all set boundaries and jotaro would give gruff 'yare yare' and carry on.

Who is it?

Polnareff.

That man could sit in joots lap and cry into his shoulder while sobbing in French, a move anyone else would be hospitalized for, and jotaro would sigh with a 'good grief' and hold him like a baby so they didn't fall over

Your standard jotaro chart of may I touch:

Jotaro with strangers- NO TOUCH

Jotaro with people he has met - 2 second Hand shake only or death.

Jotaro with friends - you may touch me slightly more then usual.

Jotaro with close friends or family - *a singular 3 second hug is allowed*

Jotaro with polnareff - You are allowed to sit on my lap while we drive in the car and you lay out all over me while sobbing in French about how some girl smacked you for winking at her. No one else.

Polnareff in part 4

Pol:OIII!!! JOJOOO!!! *tackle hugs jotaro hugging and platonically smooching him*

Jotaro: *yare yare daze*

Josuke, conufsed: is- is jotaro dating that guy?? Isnt he married???

Jospeh, a small chortle: no! Haha, jotaro is gay and polnareff is french.

Josuke: I-

Dio minion headcanons

A lot of dio's entourage is queer in some way. A few being trans as they were attracted to the idea of the vampire powers getting rid of parts and replacing them with more appropriate ones

Vanilla Ice and pucci are two trans men, though Ice came to Dio and had him use his vampiric powers for transiton

Meanwhile pucci had received conventional top surgery.

Dio is rather oblivious to modern medicines and thus doesn't really know what the hell top surgery is

So when showing off his scars and explaining them to some of the other trans folk of Dio's mansion, Dio notices and is livid. Confused and demanding to know who gave him these scars.

Pucci explains his doctor at which dio snaps back with an 'I knew healthcare professionals were evil' followed by silence and a small explanation of top surgery to dio.

I also like the idea Dio doesn't fully realize and understand the concept of trans.

He fully supports his minions in switching around parts and things, cause like same he cut off his adoptive brothers head and graphed his head onto it, shapeshifting is a thing he can use so why not use it?

He just doesn't connect they're trans, he just figures they like using his cool abilities like him lol

The d'arby brothers are from deep down south in Louisiana. Why? Bc I like the idea. I also really like the idea of Terence making Jumbo and other foods for Dio's minions and things.

Hol horse is from texas and is very sweet cowboy man, his family owns a farm :) he has a horse named buttercup and he loves buttercup

Vanilla is from like....Wyoming or some made up state like that. Silly little freak. Like Massachusetts. He is giving Massachusetts. Idk y he just is.

Hol horse is the oblivious supportive uncle. the others are all off waving their pride flags at a pride parade and hol horse is there with his texan flag just happy to be included lol. He also give out hugs when he gets dragged to pride parades, he is happy to be there UvU.

General stand headcanons

Stands have shown being directly connected to their user, some more so then others (I.E. Kira's stand 'sheer heart attack' is shown to directly affect the right hand it is connected to when attacked)

THUS meaning people who's stands damn near directly correlate with their body's, say killer queen or the world, if you were to squish their faces this would effect the user. (In this case kira or dio)

Bc this opens up a whole new range of Partner affection, not to mention the hilarious possibility of scenes like so

*sitting next to killer queen, looks around for kira. Very swiftly swishes the stands face*

*violent footsteps approach*

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withcolebrock · 3 years

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I Drew That

Corpse Husband x fem!reader

Summary: Corpse finds out that Y/N has a drawing of him as her background

Warnings: swearing :)

Word Count: 1,818

Author’s Note: I’ve spent weeks trying to write this piece :/ I just couldn’t find a way to make it how I wanted it if that makes sense but I tried my best. This idea was very cute because I can totally see this happening lol. Especially with like the whole flirty voice thing Corpse has been doing with like Brentman and like James and stuff haha. I hope you guys enjoy it!!

~~~

Tonight was one of the many nights that she was playing Among Us. It had taken over her life, a flood of success followed her once she had played with Sean and Felix. She had gained over two hundred thousand subscribers on her YouTube channel. It had changed her life for the better, in many ways.

For the last three rounds, it had been strict imposter wins. Felix won two of those. Everyone was shocked when it was him the second time, Felix was getting great at the game. The group then decided to switch lobbies because Felix was throwing a fit about getting imposter too much. It was the usual group of Felix, Sean, Poki, Rae, Sykkuno, Leslie, Toast, Dave, Corpse, and Y/N.

Over the last few months everyone in the group had gotten a lot closer. Especially Corpse and Y/N. After the first time they played together, a lobby Sean had created, they had talked for hours after the first game they played. This had continued almost every time they had played Most of the time, Corpse would be editing his videos while talking with her. It calmed him as he worked. She would be working on her art or scrolling through Pinterest or Tumblr.

They had even FaceTimed several times, where Corpse revealed his face to her. He made a big deal out of it, saying a whole monologue before he turned the camera to his face. She followed in pursuit being very dramatic as well. Whenever they would talk he would play her his music, waiting to see if she liked it. She loved any song he put out, despite it not being her usual music taste.

One night she was scrolling through Tumblr and found an artist who was drawing Among Us players with their little characters. One particular character made her smile and her heart flutter slightly. It was an amazing drawing of Corpse and his little character sitting on his shoulder. It was an art style she was familiar with, she loved supporting smaller artists. It was the cutest thing she has ever seen. Weirdly, it perfectly described him. She loved it so much, she decided to keep it as her phone Wallpaper.

The round started on Mira, where Y/N was a crewmate again. Throughout the whole night, she still hasn’t gotten imposter. “Dammit,” she groaned at the screen. She stood still at the start of the map, waiting to see if anyone would fake tasks at the start. Everyone ran off, not doing them. She quickly followed.

After a long thirty seconds lights get shut off. She ignores the emergency and continues doing her tasks, she stood by the vending machine when Felix killed her. “It’s fucking Felix again!” she leaned back in her chair groaning. She covered her face with her hands. “He’s gotta stop killing me first,” she shook her head. She tried to hide how annoyed she was.

Her body was called by Poki, she was the only dead one. “Oh my god,” Poki said once the screen popped up.

“Y/N no!” Rae yelled, “You guys, she’s died first the last three rounds,”

“Wait really? Oh Jesus, sorry Y/N,” Sykkuo said, a breathy laugh leaving his lips.

“I’ll protect you next round, Y/N, I promise,” Corpse said. Y/N tried to hide her smile and the heat rushing to her cheeks.

“We’ll avenge you, Y/N!” Sean yelled. Soon after everyone grieved her death they began asking each other where they were. Everyone had a solid alibi making it impossible for them to figure out who did it.

“Guys, guys, Y/N died first the last three rounds right?” Toast started, everyone hummed, “Who was imposter these past few rounds?” he explained. Everyone gasped.

“You really think I would kill her first three rounds in a row?” Felix tried to defend himself as the voting time clock turned red.

“You’ve done it twice already!” Sean yelled, voting Felix. Felix was saved since half of the group skipped. She floated around the map trying to get her tasks done quickly so she could talk to her chat without holding back the rest of the group.

She glanced towards her chat, reading a few questions, she shifted her gaze to the game and thought about the questions. “I’ve been working on a cute little animation for you guys, I might do another art stream with you guys. Only if you guys want it, of course.” she read through a few more questions while answering them, while she waited for the meetings to end.

Once all of her tasks were done, she began to talk about her art and fanart. “Yeah, there’s an artist on Tumblr, they are amazing, they deserve so much more recognition,” she explained as she showed them her lock screen with the drawing of Corpse; without thinking about her chat being curious as to why it was him. Turning her phone back towards her, her eyes widened as realization dawned on her.

The chat began to flood in with questions, begging Y/N to tell them why she had Corpse’s drawing as her background. She chose to ignore the question and continue talking about her own art and showing fan art. Despite trying to change the subject, she sighed dramatically. “Chat, there’s no reason why Corpse’s character is my background, the artist is just good, stop talking about it,” she giggled as the victory screen popped up on her screen.

“Felix what the fuck!” she unmuted in discord. He began laughing as he began to defend his actions. “No, no it doesn’t matter if I know your liar voice, Felix-” After about five minutes of everyone talking the next round started. She was a crewmate again, “I feel like I’m bugged,” she groaned as she started running around doing her tasks. Corpse’s little black character was following her.

“Looks like I got myself a little body guard,” she smiled as she spoke. They walked passed the medbay room, as Corpse moved his character dramatically. She rolled her eyes as they both walked into the medbay room. She didn’t have medbay, but she sat waiting for Corpse to finish. They continued doing tasks together until a body was called. It was Sean’s.

“Y/N’s cleared I was with her the entire time,” Corpse said confidently into his mic. She said the same about him. Poki was acting a little weird during the call, which made Y/N a little suspicious of her.

~~~

When the lights were shut off Corpse was killed by Poki, and he groaned as his body was killed immediately. Poki called out Y/N right away, saying that she was with Corpse the whole time. Corpse glanced towards his chat, finally able to try and read everything everyone was saying. His eyes lit up as he saw her name flash the screen several times.

One person kept spamming the chat saying, Y/N’s has your Among Us character as her background, he smiled as he read it. He knew exactly what the picture was, “Oh really?” he hummed as he continued reading. Everyone was saying how nervous she got when they kept asking her about it. He pressed his lips together nervously. He decided to drop it for now, but he was curious. He looked back up to the screen and began to listen to what was happening during the meeting.

“...You really think I would spend this whole game marinating Corpse for me to kill him in front of Poki? What about that double kill that happened, there was no way I would’ve done that if I was with him.” Y/N explained, over Poki trying to defend herself.

“I think she’s got it guys,” It was down to Toast, Y/N, Sykkuno, and Poki. Everyone quickly voted for Poki. The Victory screen popped up. “I knew you had it, Y/N,” Corpse said as everyone started shouting into the discord.

After a few minutes of them discussing the round, they decided to switch over to Polius. “Hey, Y/N, can I ask you something?” Corpse asked, the group quickly went quiet.

“Sure,” she giggled.

“My chat keeps saying you have my character as your phone background, is that true?” he asked, teasingly. He smiled widely. The entire group started cheering while teasing Y/N and Corpse.

Her mouth dropped open as she tried to find a way to explain it, “Well, uh,” she cleared her throat, “I do actually, it was great art, what was I supposed to do?” she laughed.

“Oooo, someone has a little crush,” Sean teased, Felix quickly joined. The rest of the group was simply laughing along. Corpse stayed silent while the group was teasing Y/N, and Corpse for that matter.

He pulled up Y/N’s Twitter and began to scroll through her feed to find the perfect drawing. He took the drawing that Y/N did of her own Among Us character. It was a drawing of Y/N holding her little character in her hand. It was his favorite piece of art she has done. Mainly because she drew it while on FaceTime with him. He quickly changed it to his iphone background, he glanced back towards the screen, seeing if the game started. He took a screenshot of it and immediately texted it to Y/N.

“Y/N, look at our messages,” he said simply into his mic. The group slowly stopped talking as they waited for Y/N to open the message.

“Corpse, I’m scared,” she whispered, everyone started laughing.

“Just open the message,” he giggled.

She sighed dramatically while she pulled up the messages with Corpse, seeing the screenshot. Her lips fell into a pout as she saw it. “I drew that,” she mumbled into the mic.

“You did,” he whispered, as he felt heat rise in his cheeks. He loved hearing her voice. “It’s my favorite,” he continued.

“Corpse,” she whined as her eyes began to tear up. She didn’t know why, but her heart felt so full. “You didn’t have to do that,” she mumbled, readjusting herself in her chair. She shifted her gaze towards the contact name, Corpseyyy.

“Of course I did, It was beautiful art,” he muttered while he looked back towards his phone, admiring his new phone background.

“Is this..a possible.. New relationship starting?” Sean whispered dramatically into his mic.

“It sounds like it,” Rae interjected. Corpse rolled his eyes dramatically, but he didn’t oppose the idea; neither did Y/N. Rae quickly started the game, letting the tension ease between everyone. Corpse and Y/N got imposter together.

“Oh my god finally,” Y/N said into the mic as she started faking tasks, “Chat, please stop saying I’m blushing, you aren’t helping,” she giggled as she continued the game. She raised her hand to her cheek, feeling the warmth.

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband imagines #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfic #corpse imagines #corpse x reader #corpse fanfic #e girls are ruining my life #cat girls are ruining my life #miss you!#agoraphobia

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aaviav · 3 years

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🎄HAPPY HOLIDAYS, GUYS!! 🎄 2020 was quite a year for everyone, man. i'm so glad i decided to rejoin tumblr and because of that, i got to meet some super cool people. and i drew a fair amount of handsome 2D boys!! things slowed down in the last few months but i hope i'll learn to juggle uni and personal drawing better soon. fingers crossed 🤞

there was this post where people mentioned the ones they’re thankful for in 2020 and well... i thought it’d be nice to give a couple of shoutouts myself. “you”, you ask, “the one who is terrible at words and also expressing their feelings?” yes, absolutely. (also aaa thank u to @/otonymous @/scummy-writes for tagging me back then ; ; )

TIME TO TEST THE LIMITS OF HOW MANY PEOPLE I CAN TAG?

@op-peccatori nanaaaaaaaaaa ;__; 💖 i'm so so glad i got to start talking to you this past year. i feel like we can relate on a lot of things, and somehow a few short sentences always evolve into walls of text???? like. bruh. how. 💀 💀 i know i take a while to respond sometimes but getting to read your replies is a joy every time. hope you're doing ok and please give Theo lots of kisses from me HAHA 💖

@beni-draw-ikemen-please BENIIII you're The Sweetest Ever™ 🥺 i mean it!! you're also so genuine and v v fun to talk to, i hope we get to do that more often in the future! ; v ; thank you for sharing your thirst and wonderful art with us all. ALSO ALSO: don't forget to take care of yourself. OR ELSE 😤 sending lots of virtual hugs your way! 💖 💖

@scummy-writes we're both shy beans but whenever i see you around or on on the occasional messages to eachother, you're The Sweetest Ever™ #2 🥺 for 2021 (and beyond) i wish you more confidence in yourself and your writing, because you're amazing! sometimes u just gotta channel ur inner Shea LaBeouf and Just Do It! i believe in u!!!! 💖

@littlegrrl7 hi! i appreciate you and the things you make!!! a lot!!!! you're a fic writing machine, haha. yours were the first longfics that i read and honestly, your writing is so engaging in that you keep it interesting and it's also fun and easy to read and with a healthy dose of smut cough cough. thank you for sharing! 🥰

@dear-mrs-otome Mrs O! i might or might not have been slightly intimidated at first hahah orz ANYWAY our Best Boi venn diagram might have the thinnest overlap ever but thank you for the support all the same, and i'll also always BE thankful for Drained Dry which feels like a sorta ikevamp themed discord home for me 🥺 🥺

@maanawa HELLO U!! thank u for becoming my first penpal in years!! 🥰 for some reason u always seem like such a unique person to me?? if u put a gun to my head and asked why, i wouldn't be able to answer bc i have no idea, but like. i mean it in the best way 0: 👌

@hideoutpastel HI PASTEL, i'm glad i get to interact with u a bit more bc of twitter! u are a delight!! 😤 also i think u already know but like. ur art is so ✨ sparkly ✨ and bright and beautiful ok. kthx #bless

@yenanng i might not always reply or interact, but seeing your twt updates is somehow v cool haha. i hope you get to rest and work on personal art soon! i'm cheering u on!!! \o/ 💖

@nan-chi @weird-profiterole HI HI! 🥰 we haven't talked to eachoter much but you guys seem super genuine and fun, i hope we get to interact more in the future!! also your art is so cute i cri 😭💖

@mikotomizuki LEO HOES UNITE 🤝 🤝 thank you for being hilarious and bringing your tiddy memes everywhere you go LMAO. let's keep our fingers crossed for more amazing Leo content in 2021 🤞💖

@pseudofaux you are delightful!! thank you for all the support always. you're an angel and we don't deserve you 😭💖 (also hello ur writing skills? y e s)

@pickle-scribbles Faa, I LIVE FOR YOUR THIRST COMMENTS. SERIOUSLY HAHA. and i die bc of your masterful smut 😭 just,, thank you 🥺💖

@otonymous i've probably mentioned this before but your fics were one of the first ones i read when i got back into tumblr, and honestly? what an amazing author to start with. #thepowerofthirst 💀 i kinda stopped consuming MLQC content so i haven't kept up w everything you put out but i know that you're still AMAZING and also so funny and just. 10/10 man

@tacogawa @savourthelittlethings u guys are just. so cool!!!!! that's all thank u for coming to my ted talk 🥰

@akirafanarts hi!! i haven’t forgotten u!! hope you’ve been doing ok!! 💖

@meowlayn-art you are v sweet! your art is gorgeous! and your OCs are amazing!! 🥺 i'm cheering for you! 💖

@incorrect-ikevamp-quotes a lil random but like. thank you for your insights on a bunch of idiots under one roof aka the ikevamp boys!! 💖 and also for the Top Notch 11/10 memes. bless 🙏 🙏

special shout out to everyone on Drained Dry that i haven't yet mentioned, u guys are v cool ; v ; 💖

and lastly, thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged or interacted with my posts or just took a second to appreciate my art, really. drawing 2D boys is a joy, and i'm glad if it brings even the tiniest bit of happiness into other people's lives too! you guys are the best 💖💖💖

#YELLS #sorry for the wall of text............#it's 3am guys pls forgive me if i don't make sense #do i feel like i forgot someone? oh absolutely #FINGERS CROSSED THAT EVERYONE GOT TAGGED PROPERLY ;__;#i hope everyone reading this enjoyed their holidays ; v ;#ily guys #non art

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livebloggingmydescentintomadness · 3 years

Note

Hey I know you love ace cas, well me and @norwegiandean have set up a discord all about ace cas would you be willing to shout it out?? We want to just share head canons and be supportive of ace cas because we love him so much haha the link is https://discord.gg/DuGywvuHvw thanks!!

hey, that’s awesome!!!

#cas #castiel #ace cas #ace!cas #asexual cas #spn #carlgrimeschildsoldier #ask

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caxsthetic · 4 years

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It was a great journey...

Hello! Aha, welcome to my... Shoutout post... Here I would love to thank everyone that has been here for me... Either fom the start, through thick and thin, support me every day, to all my friends that I found along the way... Everyone... Everyone that I hold dear in my life...

It's been such a wonderful journey. When I was still nothing, making Tumblr just to read fanfiction, and now I became one of the writes who provide people with content...

@blacckdiamondposts Celine oh dear I-I don't know how to start this... You are everything. For real I love you so much it's so hard to describe you have been there for me, supporting me and listening to me ramble a lot about my wip... Nghh thank you, thank you so much over all the things that you have done for me... You always there to shout at me "TAKE A FUCKING BREAK!" and even tho I rarely listen, you still telling me that anyway... So... I hope we would always be friends, because I would love to tell my children about how I first met you🤭🤭🤭

@muffins-puffins Shaffff aaaaaaaa!! I still remember that the first time I message you, your pfp was Kita😁 Ngh, we keep going on and on and ramble about nsfw things... We wild, and I love how we didn't hit any brake when we talk about it... Thank you so much for listening to me and scream at me lmao when I was like, tortuting myself... And thank you for always become such a good friend ever since!!

@rintarhoe Tea, Tea... How to start... Aaaahhhh I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH😭 Man, you keep me sane through Discord, through everything... I love you so much thank you for always checking out on me... When I feel down or just like, showing unusual act... You always slid to my dm and ask what happen and ask about my wellbeing... Thank you, thank you I love you... The first time we talk in private, it was when you tell me to send my singing video lmao bro that it's so embarrassing dkxnekdmkssn but yeah... I love you so much and thank you for sticking out with me... Thank you for not getting tired hearing me ramble and moping around sometimes... I couldn't thank God enough for giving me the chance to meet you...

@evermorehaikyuu Ivyyy babyy nghh you always listen to me and become such a great friend and I even want to calll you my best friend you know EVERYTHING about me xoemskwokzs aaahhh I wuff u so much Ivy you always try to tell me that I am enough, I am good enough, and that was so sweet and keep me going... You are everything too in my life and idk how far I would stretch myself if you are not there assuring me that I can do it...

@yusemis Nghh Miyuuu😭 You are one of the first haikyuu blog that I follow and I remember how I used to be so afraid to talk to you because maaammm you are so good... And then we become mutual and we talk I just... I just... Want to thank you for being there, for just existing... You really give so much impact in my life and I love you so much, thank you, thank you for sliding into my life...

@baby-boy-taichi Kikiii myy luveliess... You have always been such a kind soul from the start. I enjoy talking to you and just banter around... I miss seeing you and teasing the hell out of Qee... Still remember how people compare about you being this gentle person and Qee being a feral person xiendosksk man... It felt like such a long time since then... Thank you for being here as my friend, I hope your adulthood gave the best life for you!!

@gulfwanq Hey Samantha, dear... Someone who I held dear in my life... You Atsumu fuckers (and kunigami and bokuto and iwaizumi the list goes on)... I love you so much, thank you for always be there for me... Still remember how we met and my god why we are chaotic and up until now I am still happy to be your personal Atsumu porn provider🤭 You are such a great person and always boost me up when I am feeling down... Thank you, thank you so much...

@bleedinqhearts Amber... I want to thank you for just... Literally exist! You are the first Haikyuu blog that I follow... I love everything that you post... Either it was shit post, your god tier fic, anything... It makes me excited to open up Tumblr and see your url in my dash! And over everything you have become such a great friend to me... You check up on me when I act like I am not myself, you keep me updated with the commissions, you are fun to talk to and overall... I always looked up to you and your honesty over everything, was a trait that I really loves from you... So thank you, for writing and being such a great company...

@mochi-poof Olii babyy my sweetest dear who was now going around Semi diendksms I love you so much... You have this feral energy in a good way that makes me crack a laugh when you appear... I hope life would treat you well... Because you deserve it with how kind you are towards others... Thank you for caring for me, and thank you for being my friend...

@chunkchowder Chachi hello hello!! Still remember how we met at first... It was wild and at first I am limitin myself from saying such nsfw things... But turns out you are WILDER than me!! Kdjeosms thank you for being you! You are such an awesome friend that I hold dear in my life... Your appearance always makes me smile... Therefore, please stay in my life... And thank you, thank you for staying...

@miyatsunami I MISS YOU SO MUCH I FREAKING MISS YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭 Nghh, I hope life treat you good, baby!! You have been there since that Miya Atsumu angst series that I make and never once stop supporting me with all of your kind words... You are such a great friend... I love you so much... I miss talking to you every day and I hope life treat you well, baby... Thank you for being here, through everything...

@allywritesimagines From all the people that I mention this human right here is very crucial... Ally was literally the one who pushed me to post here! They pushed me and support me from the start, always reassure me that I am good and I should write because I want to... I love you so much, and even though we didn't talk like we used to... I still want to thank you for existing, for being such a great friend, for pushing me to click "Post" that day...

@kashika mommm!!! Nghh, I love u so much mom😭😭 Hey, how are you? It's been so long since we have a decent talk with each other... I hope life treating you well! I want to thank you for supporting me with your kind words... I love you so much!

@letshaikyuu baby... Ngh, you always so good to me and always boost me up when I am feeling down... Like we talked a lot about kinks and such but you are one of the sweetest people that I have ever met here!! Thank you for still wanting to be my friend...

@iwaixiumi Hey, hello... Ahh how to start this... I love you so much and I want you to know that I am very grateful that I stumbled on your blog and I just... Love to see you on my dash so much you basically one of the people who support me when I was nothing and I am here right now (still nothing) but yeah, improved ever since and I thank God I met you!

@heccingdead haha... Fuck... I cry for real here... Hey Reena! If you read this, I want you to know that you are everything in my life... You support me, help me, boosting my mental and emotion... Still remember when you are shocked because my followers was like... What? 120 when we first talk? And now how I wish you are here but I thank God we share our Instagram account and now we friends in real life too... Thank you for being exist, I could basically filled this so freaking long and maybe paragraphs xkendlsm I love you so much, Reena... The impact that you gave to me... It was lots!

I want to thank a lot of people that support me from the start too... The writers and mutuals that I met here or Discord... People who boost me up, people who I want to hug you so much because how kind they are... @cosmic-goddess-leo thank you for even checking out my fic and help me with how should I write this and that... @kodzuken-pie thank you for being such a good friend and assure me that I am good enough... @vventure thank you for always so kind and supportive through everything... @iwaxme thank you for checking me up even when its been so long since we talk, but you are there to tell me everything would be okay...

Then there was @babiedeku heyy! When I think some people didn't care about me and when I just feel alone you popped out into my life and I feel so grateful... @hit-points Nghhh, thank you for supporting me from the start, for being such a good friends, I love you so much... @imomomi nghh I know we just met but for real I put all of your kind words deep into my heart and I am so thankful over it... @nekxrizawa HEY! YOU GOD RSOSNSKSK thank you so much for being here in my life you are just so so precious I want to crushed you in a hug... @rintarous Oh Jan I always love to see u in my dash like you are such a moodbooster xkwmskam and when you tell me that I push you somehow to write Kita I am tearing up nghh I love you!!

Aahh this is a non stop tag here but @fitriiaw Irdaa baby nghh you are there too since my oikawa fucker phase until now!! Thank you for always care about me... @daiseukis heyy baby thank you so much for always saying such kind words to me you literally make me smile a lot of times, I wuff uu... @t-amajiki aaa Gere we met through Discord I used to be so afraid to talk to you but now when I know you are such a huge softie and a kind person, nxisksks I just want to thank you for being such a great company... @atsunflower aahh we didn't interact much but I just want to say that your blog is such a moodbooster for me I love anything that you do and thank you for being exist!!

Goodness, it's been too long🥺🥺🥺 But yeah, I just want to thank all of my followers, all of the people who read and enjoy my works... People who send me anonymous ask, giving me feedback... Wanting to be on my taglist... Boosting me up with kind words when I am feeling down... You are MVP!!! Thank you for staying and I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE SUCH A GOOD LIFE BECAUSE EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY!!

And all of you kind soul, deserves to have a perfect life that you guys ever want... Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart...

With so much love,

Eycee💕

#caxsthetic ramble #caxsthetic shoutout #yes shoutout #and i thank God #from writing #and from tumblr #i met alll of you!#thank you for being there when i was zero #to now with 2k #it was #such a great journey for real...

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ratchedspeach · 4 years

Note

hey! can you write something where Kirby comforts Fallon after she's kidnapped? I know it doesn't work with the timeline haha

It’s already AU so why not make it established Firby as wellllll (-:

CW - nothing serious, but there’s brief flashbacks of Fallon’s kidnapping, and mentions of (a little) bloodDISSONANCE - where we’ve been and where we’re going

She sings when she’s nervous. Well, no … not really sings as much as hums, with the added bonus of mumbling her favorite lyrics as they come. The first time Kirby notices is when they’re sixteen, and Fallon had coerced her into helping her re-organize her already pristine CD collection (another nervous habit, but one she was already fully aware of).

She would pretend not to hear at first, for fear that it would make her stop. Fallon’s voice is beautiful — a low alto with its own unique tambour, only helped by natural rasp of her voice. What really captivates Kirby, though, is the way she supports the notes — her ribcage expands, and her breath settles into a low, centered space. She can see her breathing through her back, and it’s special in its own way to see her so grounded in technique.

“You’re staring.” Fallon’s voice had lifted her gaze from where they sat on her spine. Kirby blushed, and was about to respond when the teen continued haughtily. “I didn’t ask you here so you could stare at me.”

Kirby’s stomach dropped. “I’m doing you a favor, last time I checked. It wouldn’t hurt you to be a little nice.”

“I’m always nice.” Fallon had quipped.

“Yeah, ok.” The redhead breathed, slamming a disk into its place with more force than needed. “Why are we doing this anyways?”

She wasn’t going to respond, was just going to offer up her best insult to change the subject, but there’s a crash of glass breaking, followed by a voice that is distinctly Alexis’s calling someone (she can only assume Blake) a ‘goddamn pig!’. Kirby would watch as Fallon’s shoulders tensed, and her eyes shot her a silent warning to just drop it.

“Forget I asked.” Kirby would mumble as an apology, knowing better to push when it came to matters of her parents.

***

She looks tired, Kirby can’t help but think when she’s finally done answering the slew of questions from the detective. She’d responded with what her father would call ‘striking poise’, patting her on the shoulder before retiring to his room to check on Cristal. Kirby’s trained eye knew what he saw as composition was actually immense rigidity, largely thanks to Blank’s presence in the first place. The redhead could only imagine that if she’d been through what Fallon just had, she wouldn’t be able to stop crying. The brunette doesn’t, of course, because, well she’s Fallon fucking Carrington.

Now though, curled up on the couch with a blanket around her, wearing the closest thing she’s seen the woman wear to sweats since they’ve been dating (even her pajamas are beautiful and feminine and probably cost more than Kirby’s entire wardrobe), she looks … fucking exhausted. Kirby comes to sit next to her slowly so as not to startle her. She’s lost in thought — blue eyes fixed darkly on some spot on the wall, fingers clutching an untouched cup of green tea.

“Hey.” Kirby murmurs, bringing her fingers to tuck a few pieces of hair behind her ear. “You ok?”

Fallon doesn’t look at her, just nods gently, and brings her mug to her lips without actually sipping the contents inside. Kirby doesn’t want to push, or more specifically, she knows Fallon doesn’t want her to, but …

“I was so scared for you.” She breathes, the devastation she’d been keeping at bay all day settling dangerously in the pit of her stomach.

Fallon’s knuckles go white around the cup, eyes narrowing, jaw clenching, but she doesn’t respond, just starts humming.

***

She had asked her why she didn’t want to become a singer — blurting it out before she had a chance to censor herself, which was only met with an astonished look from the brunette sitting across from her, back supported by the long forgotten CD shelf behind her. The answer was obvious, of course — because she’s a Carrington, and she has responsibilities and expectations to fulfill … that she wanted to fulfill.

“Not that you’d know anything about that.” Fallon had smirked, letting the dig settle in the air.

They would stay in her room most of the day —avoiding the carnage of her mother’s wrath downstairs. Fallon barely acknowledged the cacophony of screams between her parents, save for flinching every so often when she hadn’t braced herself for a new discord of plates being thrown or books hurdling against the wall and landing on the ground. Kirby would watch her carefully, paying attention to the way she picked at her cuticles, or straightened her back, or tried to dart her eyes towards the origins of the noise without the other girl noticing. She was humming openly now, but Kirby couldn’t help but wonder if it was because she was actually comfortable around her, or if she just had bigger things to worry about than allowing her to hear her singing.

She’s pulled out of her thoughts when the shouting downstairs turns into moans. Fallon groans, doubling over so her forehead is being supported on her knees, and covering her head with her arms.

“Woah, are they —”

“Yup.” Fallon griped before she could finish her sentence.

Kirby thinks she knows what mortification means now, because it’s one thing to hear the Carringtons doing … that, but it’s another thing to be hearing it next to their only daughter. It had dawned on her that for however embarrassed she must be feeling, it’s absolutely worse for Fallon.

***

She wakes in a fit of panic, and sweat, and heavy breathing. Fallon’s eyes dart to the corners of the room, taking in the familiar shadows cast by the architecture of the space. She doesn’t remember falling asleep — one moment, they’d been lying in bed, Kirby’s finger tracing the profile of her cheek like she’s worried she’ll forget what it looks like overnight. The next, she’d been there …

Alejandro’s hand coming around her neck, his thumb pressing into the space just below her chin. He smells like sweat and coffee, and it makes Fallon gag. He grins in return, white teeth flashing dangerously, and —

Fallon shakes her head, noting with grim irony the way her bangs toss back in forth, and god she wants to rip them out of her head, or shave all her hair off altogether. She flicks her eyes to the Kirby, counting her luck stars that she didn’t wake her up, before slipping out of her bed. Much to her relief, there’s a carafe of scotch on the table next to the fireplace. Fallon sinks into a cushioned velvet chair, and pours herself a glass. The alcohol burns at it hits her larynx, but its familiar, and she goes back for another sip, and another, and another, and …

“Jesus Fallon, it’s almost five in the morning.” Kirby’s voice cuts through the pleasant buzz that’s warming the space behind her eyes.

Fallon drops the glass out of surprise, watching as the last droplets of the dark liquor soak into the carpet. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t sing, then.” Kirby’s voice is husky with sleep, her words a little slurred as she comes back to consciousness, but Fallon knows meant as a musing more than an accusation.

The brunettes shoulders tense, and were it not for the cloak of darkness overtaking the room, she knew her cheeks would be about three shades pinker then their usual pallor, because she hadn’t realized she’d been humming. Fallon untucks her legs from where they are on the chair, bending over and picking up the crystal glass at her feet before placing it delicately on the table next to her.

“Have you been drinking?” Kirby asks, sitting up in the bed and crooning her eyes in the lowlight.

“No.” Fallon winces when the single syllable word hangs just a little too long in her throat, coming out as a low drawl that she know will give her away.

“Fallon …” She doesn’t realize that the other woman has gotten out of bed before she feels her fingers delicately on her shoulder.

The brunette flinches slightly at the contact, casting her blue eyes to the wet spot of carpet directly in front of her. She can feel the pity in Kirby’s stare, and it makes her skin crawl, and she’s humming again absently, much to the redhead’s dismay. Kirby comes to kneel in front of her, taking the other woman’s hands delicately in hers and letting her thumb graze the palm of her right hand.

“Hey, talk to me.” It comes as a mumbled plea, as Kirby’s hands trail up her arms and squeeze gently just below her elbows.

Were it anyone else, Kirby would expect them to start sobbing, or at the very least hold back tears, but this is Fallon — a woman who grew up in a family where emotional responses held the equivalent weight to murdering someone. Come to think of it, crying was probably worse. The brunette tries to pull away, but she’s cornered in her chair, and it makes her stomach drop and her chest tighten, and —

The barrel of a gun to her temple, his nails digging into her shoulder, his laugh — gravelly and low and dishonest, and —

“Drop it, Kirby.” It’s a warning, and Kirby knows it, and usually would heed it.

Usually.

“Not until you tell me what’s up.” She responds delicately, concern and uncertainty lacing her tone.

Fallon looks at her like she’s trying to make her evaporate with a glare. “I’m fine.” She huffs, pretending not to hear the way her voice cracks in the back of her throat. “Just let it go.”

“Damnit, Fallon!” It catches the brunette off guard, because Kirby never raises her voice — not with her.

She’s seen the redhead angry plenty of times, and she’s received enough insults to prove it, but almost as principle she doesn’t yell. She’s not really sure why, but she’s been that way since they were children, always using her quick wit to overcome her otherwise soft spoken manner.

***

She would let Fallon ignore her, but wouldn’t leave her room — not until the glow of evening light started to filter through the teen’s windows, painting the space in a saturated, golden hue. Kirby watched as the brunette busied herself, organizing things that were never out of place to begin with, and humming all the while. It was a song she didn’t recognize, but Kirby knew better than to ask what. Years later she would hear Tin Angel by Joni Mitchel on the radio, and the memory of that day in her room would come flooding back.

When her parents finally quieted downstairs, after what must have been hours, Kirby can’t help but note, Fallon turns back to her, looking at her like she’s surprised to see the redhead still there. Kirby had shrugged, giving her a slight smile, and offering Fallon a CD.

“It starts with a C.” She’d stated.

Fallon’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“The album,” Kirby clarified, “you put it with the ‘K’ albums.”

She was out the door before the brunette could respond, leaving her to clutch the CD and stare after her.

“I’m trying to help you.” Kirby’s voice snaps her out of the memory, and she shushes the woman, because as she has just pointed out, it’s fucking early.

“Well you’re not.” Fallon fumes lowly, wrenching out of her loving grasp. “You’re not helping, Kirby. You’d be helping if you just did what I said and let it go.”

Kirby stands out of sheer frustration, taking a few steps away from her and clenching her hands into fists on either side of her. She’s trying to get a rise out of her, she knows that, and maybe if she wasn’t so tired and so goddamn scared she wouldn’t let it work.

“Well forgive me,” She all but shrieks, turning back to the woman with her deep brown eyes blazing, “but I’m off the opinion that when someone you love gets fucking kidnapped, you should be there for them. Jesus, Fallon, do you know what I went through —”

“What you went through.” Fallon cuts her off, repeating the sentiment like she’s not sure she’s heard her correctly, and standing slowly.

Fuck. Now she’s really done it.

“What … what you went through?”

The knife against her neck, trailing up her cheek, nicking the skin just in front of her ear until she felt blood trickling off her jawline and onto her bare shoulder.

“You know what I mean.” Kirby backpedals, but only slightly. “I was scared out of my mind. I thought I would never see you again, I thought …”

She shakes her head, not allowing herself to finish the sentiment. Fallon falters for a moment, but the bile rising in her throat pushes her forward like its a goddamn inquisition, because she knows that her options are anger or …

“They aren’t coming, girlie.” Alejandro whispered in her ear, reveling at the way her chin juts out defiantly when he does. “Nobody is coming for you.”

“No!” She’s talking to herself, but she plays it off like it’s directed at Kirby. “No, you don’t get to spin this like you’re the goddamn victim, here.”

Kirby’s ears are burning and her chest is tight as she blinks back the tears dangerously close to the precipice of her lash line. She wants to respond, wants to fucking scream and maybe even shake her, but Fallon cuts her off before she can utter a single syllable.

“Oh boo hoo, you got a little scared —“

“That’s not —“

“When did you realize I was gone?”

And there it is: the question that both of them had been dreading since Fallon had collapsed into her arms outside the warehouse. It hangs in the air — thick with expectation and too much pain for the brunette. Guilt settles heavily in Kirby’s chest, and she sucks in a breath, holding it for a long moment.

“W-what?” She stammers in an attempt to buy herself time.

Fallon lets out a humorless chuckle, tilting her chin and narrowing her eyes dangerously on her. “Don’t play games with me. When did you realize?”

“Fallon, I … I don’t …” Kirby brings her hand to her forehead, suddenly very concerned by the wisps of hair she finds there. “Jesus, I didn’t — … It’s not like I was keeping track of the time, Fal.”

It hits her with the weight of what it is — a pitiful and completely half assed effort to delicately tell her that she hand’t noticed. Fallon heaves a heavy sigh, defeat settling in where her rage once was. She misses it immediately. The brunette turns back to the bottle of scotch, this time pouring both of them a glass. She swigs the last drops of hers down, gritting her teeth at the sheer volume of liquor she’s consumed in a single swallow, before holding the other out to Kirby, who thinks she shouldn’t take it because it’s five in the fucking morning, but does anyway. Truth be told, she’s afraid what will happen if she says no — afraid that Fallon will throw it at her, or drink it herself, and Lord knows the last thing she needs is more alcohol.

Kirby cups the glass between her hands, her fingers tracing the grooves of the intricate crystal work. “I’m sorry, Fallon.” She whispers, and it’s almost inaudible. “I am … fuck, I am so sorry.”

Fallon just shrugs, slumping to a seated position on the corner of her bed and pressing the palms of her hands against her eyes. “It’s not like I can blame you.” She concedes, taking the other woman completely by surprise.

Kirby sets her unfinished scotch down and comes to sit next to her. She’s afraid that the proximity will bring forth a new surge of rage, but when she’s certain it hasn’t, she brings a hand to trace the bare skin on the brunette’s thigh. It makes Fallon wince, so she pulls away, eyes searching the other woman for an explanation.

“Bruise.” Fallon murmurs without explaining any further, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment.

Kirby squints in the early morning light, and sure enough sees the outline of an impressively large bruise that expands at least four inches in any direction. Her heart sinks, and she lowers herself into a somewhat uncomfortable position in order to kiss the spot, taking note of the way Fallon’s muscles release just slightly when she does. She stays there, pulling her legs onto the bed so she’s laying with her head in the brunette’s lap (not directly on the bruise, obviously). Fallon brings her fingers to weave through her strawberry blonde locks, heaving a sigh when the scent of her lavender and honey shampoo fills her nostrils.

“I was so scared.” Kirby whispers.

“I know.”

“I thought you were gone.”

“I’m here.”

“Are you?” Kirby shifts so that she’s looking up at her. Fallon gives her an inquisitive look. “You’ve been so … Fuck, I don’t know … you’re just clearly not ok, and you’re shutting me out, and …”

She trails off when she feels the other woman’s lips on hers. The kiss is gentle — almost gossamer. Fallon lingers there despite the way her spine protests at the discomfort of the position they’re in. It’s worth it for the brief moment of levity that spikes in her stomach. Her lips taste like scotch, Kirby notes, bringing a hand to cup her cheek delicately. When the brunette finally pulls away, she comes up with her, sitting up and pulling her in again for a much more desperate kiss. Fallon tenses for a moment before melting into her, slipping her arms around the other woman’s shoulders and pressing into her.

“I’m here.” She mumbles, the words getting jumbled with an amalgam of too much alcohol and not enough air.

“You fucking scared me.” Kirby responds in the same fashion, sans drunkenness.

They stay like that for longer than either of them realize, until Kirby puts a hand to her jawline, and the brunette pulls away almost violently. Fallon’s eyes squeeze shut, her entire body starting to tremble, and it scares Kirby to death.

“Fallon?” She urges as her breath returns to normal.

Alejandro’s fingers on the gash by her ear, trailing down to smear the line of blood it left.

“Fallon, hey. Look at me.”

“Nobody is coming for you.” He sing-songs, placing the knife this time against her collarbone.

Its Kirby’s hands on her shoulder that finally breaks through. Fallon’s eyes snap open, panic flashing through them as she slowly comes back to reality. She looks at Kirby, and Kirby can see the weight of the entire day pulling at her features. She wants to ask — wants to know every detail so that she can figure out how the hell to take the pain away, or at least share in the burden — but she knows better than to pry. Instead, she pulls the woman’s head onto her shoulder, stroking her hair and making sure not to go anywhere near the spot that had made her lose touch with reality in the first place.

“I’m here, too.” Kirby murmurs as she buries her nose into the other woman’s hair.

Fallon’s eyelids flutter closed, and she heaves a sigh, and Kirby feels her nod in acknowledgment. They stay like that until after the sun rises, and the redhead finds herself tempted to never let her out of arms length again, because she had been so scared … so fucking scared.

Sensing her anxiety, Fallon places a hand on Kirby’s knee, her thumb grazing back and forth affectionately, and starts to hum.

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sargentsnowy-blog · 6 years

Text

Max paced the waiting tent on the beach same, sweatting nervously. "What if she says no..." He mumbled, Neil and Preston watching him in concern. "Oh my god what if she just...leaves?!"

"Max she's Nikki. She'd never run from her own wedding. Plus your best man is her sister so she'd be hearing a mouthful if she did," Neil says in a gentle tone, trying to calm down the groom before he sweated out his suit. "Chill."

"DUDE I CAN'T." He turned to him in panic, his eyes wide. "Seriously Neil, what if she just...puts it off..? I've been planning this shit for months."

"Don't think too low of her, Maxwell," Preston says with a snicker and straightening his bowtie.

Funny thing is, Max was looking great even tho he was panicked. He had on a dark midnight blue suit with a white shirt underneath. His bangs were pinned out his face so his forehead was showing and two stray curls were free. Great.

He growled and kept pacing.At the same time, Nikki was literally walking in circles while ranting. She wore the same color of Max's suit except her dress was specked with white glitter so it looked like stars.

Her three brides maids, Nerris, Ered, and since she asked Max to find one, his ex Sasha, just watched her. They glanced at each other as they watched.

"Max is a good guy but how would he react to what I have to tell him....?" She looked to the three girls for support.

None of them said anything.

"Uh...you're right! Max is a good guy I'm sure he'd be fine," Sasha cut in awkwardly, looking at Ered and Nerris who kinda just winced at her. "...."

"Haha yeah you're right," Nikki says, a little more confident. "I'll give it to him."

Nerris smirked at her and looked to Sasha who sighed in relief.

Then the music started. Neil and Preston had to practically push Max to his place by the beach water, taking their own places after calming him down a little.

Luckily since it was night, no one could see him sweating. Even with the lights on. So he was fine. This is fine.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw Astria, Nerris and Harrison's tiny child, skipping down the isle with a basket of blue rose petals in her hand and spilling over the white carpet.

Then the brides maids walked out, bright smiles on their faces as they got to the end and stood on Nikki's side. 'oh god oh god...' Max gulped as Nikki walked out her tent, a sparkly dark blue veil covering her face. 'Dammit Nikki walk slower-' But she was walking quickly, stepping onto the platform and across from him.

'Okay Max, calm your ass down.' He slowly lifted her veil and saw her bright pretty face, a wide smile on her red lips. Her makeup was clearly done by Sasha cause it was perfect. Also Nikki didnt really know how to do it.

"...damn..." Max muttered softly, his eyes wide in awe. "You're fine-"

Nikki snorted and laughed, shaking her head. "Thanks Maxie."

"AHEM stop flirting," Gwen says from beside them, her face in a smirk. "Haha sorry," Max apologized sheepishly, looking to Nikki with a more confident smile. He grabs her hands and waited for Gwen to start.

All was going well until they got to the vows.

And when Max opened his mouth, his mind drew a goddamn blank. "Uh..." His eyes widened. "Uhm....I..."

Nikki tilts her head in confusion, raising her eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

"I forgot my vows—"

She winced. "Oof-"

"I'll just wing it." He clears his throat. "So Nikki as you see I forgot my vows and I'm just gonna say it right here right now that I fucking love you and always will. Why? You're perfect to be honest. Everything you do is just...great. You're pretty, funny, amazing, stupidly smart, I don't even know if I'm in your league. Still don't. And this got very cheesy let me just." He coughs. "Anyways I'm pretty sure I'd be a fucking dumbass alone and not talking to anyone if you'd just not gotten off that bus. Can I stop...?" Nikki laughs and nods “yeah you can”

“Anyways!" Nikki smirked. "Its my turn." "Ahem! Max you're really nice when you want to be and a soft cunt to me and me only and I love it. Especially how you're just yelling at someone then turn to me in the sweetest tone cause you know I hate people yelling at me! Hence why my mom wasn't invited!" Her grip tightened on his hands. "You're a smart idiot, pretty cute...wait thats an understatement. You're pretty damn hot ahem. And I'll never freaking forget..." She smiled softly, looking up to him with soft and watery eyes. "...how you let me move into your apartment when you found out what my mom was doing to me. That was honestly the best day of my life besides you proposing to me." Max's eyes widened and he tilted his head with a grin. "It was nothing..."

"We weren't even dating!" She laughs. "And you know exactly how to cheer me up! And..." She sniffed slightly. "F r i c k. Gwen stop crying your emotions are spreading."

She looks to Gwen who was actually sobbing. "S-sorry--" Nikki sighs and sniffs. Then she started crying. "DANGIT." Max snickered and wiped her tears. "Pfft keep it together Nik."

Nikki nods and sniffles again. "Max I really...really love you you don't even know how much...to be honest I started liking you when we cracked that egg...haha and then...you big wimp you asked me out in freshman year of college!"

Max gasped playfully. "Not the point."

"You never break a promise...right?"

"Nope."Nikki looks to Gwen with a small smile, nodding.

"Ahem...Maxwell Greenwood...do you take Nikki Skyler as your wedded wife, to spend your life with her until your dying ages?"

“I do," Max responds confidently, his anxiety fading.

"And do you, Nik-"

"I do I do I DO."

Gwen laughed and looked to Preston who walked up, holding two golden rings on a velvet pillow.

Max and Nikki took one and pushed it up each others right middle fingers before looking up at each other excitedly.

"You may now, k-"

Before Gwen could even finish, Nikki was in Max's grip and he was kissing her happily. Nikki snickered and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing back just as happy and excited.

They break away with bright eyes and smiles before running down the isle. Nikki tossed her bouquet into the hair with a laugh and Preston shoved the girls out the way, catching it and shouting, "NEIL GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL AND I CAUGHT IT!" Neil gulped and sighed softly.

-AT THE AFTER PARTY-

The clinking of wine glasses echoed around the party as everyone celebrated the marriage.

Max and Nikki were sitting beside each other and chatting with everyone about how Max was taking her on a cruise for their honeymoon.

A very expensive one that David totally helped him book.Speaking of David, he was sobbing into Gwen's shirt, just so happy that his SON finally got married to her and kept that promise he made years ago."Pfft David...calm down..." Gwen patted her HUSBAND'S head and stood up, clinking her glass with a smirk. "Everyone! Hey listen up!"

The crowd goes silent and everyone looks over to her, curious and surprised.

"Toasts you assholes to the newly weds!""Oh! Oh! Oh!" Sasha jumps up. "I have one!"

Max and Nikki look to each other in surprise before looking back at his ex.

-SKIP AFTER THE TOASTS TO THE WEDDING PRESENTS WHERE I'LL MAKE ALL OF YOU SOB-

"A new TV for the apartment!" Nikki says excitedly, opening Nerris' and Harrison's present. "It has a sound bar!"

"Neil gave us a new PlayStation. Playstation 7." Max looked to Neil and smirked, Neil grinning and shrugging."Open ours," Gwen says excitedly, grinning.

Max took their present and opened it, finding a vacation pass to france. "Why don't you guys take this?"

"Well we think you guys might need it later." Gwen looks to Nikki with a small smile.Nikki gulped nervously and started to fidget in her seat. 'Crap.' "Uhhhh Max?"

Max turns to her. "Yeah Nik?"

She smiles anxiously. "I have a present for you." She picks up a small box. It was wrapped with a red bow on top.

Max shrugs and takes it, tearing the paper open while humming.

She looked over at him, sweating.

David hurried and grabbed his camera, turning it on.

Max opens the box and his breath caught as he pulled out two pacifiers. One was blue. One was pink. He lifted his head slowly and looked to Nikki with wide eyes.

Nikki looked over at him with an anxious smile, saying, "Maxie...we're having twins.." Max stayed silent for a while, just staring at her. Then tears streaked down his face. "..."

"Ah- Max!" Nikki tried to wipe his tears but he just hugged her tightly, sobbing into her shoulder.

"...haha h-how long..h-have yo-you known..?"

She hugs him back. "2 months.." He sits up, wiping eyes only for more tears tears to fall down. "Fuck fuck fUCK...Nikki ima be a dad. A fucking...dad."

She laughs and nods. "A great one too. You're probably gonna be crying when they go off to preschool."

Max blinked and nodded. "Yeahhhhh you're probably right." He then stood up and stood Nikki up too.

"Max what're y-"

Max pecks her lips and said, "you have to dance with my dad, idiot."

...

@jennythemagicbear requested this sorry its in this format I wrote it on discord.

#cc makki #BBIES #fanfic #ree

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gaypowersunite · 6 years

Text

Why I love this fandom

So, I understand the Newsies fandom has, in a way, been falling apart. I get that, there are cruel people out there. I've seen the discord, I used to be apart of until I left and it's sad to see all the happiness slowly seeping away. So let me remind you why this fandom us amazing.

Firstly, how everyone views Newsies. A bit back I was asked, is newsies good? Should one be bothered to watch it? I didn't really know how I was supposed to answer as usually I'm not the one to get those kind of asks. (Go see @well-the-kids-do-too or @be-more-chill-evan-hansen for real good answers, they're more popular in my opinion). So, I was stumped. I replied with an overall observation of why newsies was so good. Friendly cast, pumping awesome songs, crazy dance moves, and overall excitment. It didn't occur to me to put what the musical was actually about, but lucky @be-more-chill-evan-hansen gave an amazing description. And know what? I think our different opinions are really beautiful.

Secondly, everyone supports each other. Have you been in the newsies discord? For the bigger part, everyone was supportive of each other and when our lovely @soak-em was targeted, all of us rose to defend her. Without a doubt in our minds, we knew that she didn't deserve any of the hate she was getting. So, the only reasonable thing to do was comfort her and search for her attacker. So, to her attacker, you suck please stop.

Thirdly, the newsie fandom honestly feels like a family. Allot of folks were able to vent and talk without the fear of judgement or hatred. We came out to ourselves and others, we vented about our days or our current problems and we we're always reassured of the positive things in life. It was relieving to find friends. No. To find family.

Fourthly, umm fanart?? @newsienewsie make outstanding moodboards, I love them so much. (Seriously, props to you man). Moodboard are never easy and as far as I know, right now requests are open, so go check them out! @broadwaycantdie makes super cool lockscreens!! (Which I am using). Not to mention, @kaiayame and @stars-unhooked have made some super impressive fanart of the loves we know.

Fithly, the cast is amazing and we love and appreciate. Who are the stars of the cast? Well, I know, I know everyone shouts about Ben T. Cook, but they're are more than him I promise. (Though he is pretty freaking amazing.) I mean, let's talk about Nico DeJesus who starred Romeo. Or David and Jacob Guzman who played Mike and Ike, they were amazing! Or Kaitlyn Frank and Beth Stafford Laird, both playing the nuns and Bowery Beauties! Amazing!!

Ok, can't help it, Ben T. Cook is pretty gosh darn impressive eh? Haha.

Sixth, you should see how passionate we are about the songs. I mean, seriously! The energy this fandom puts into the songs, because we feel the passion in them. So what if we all want to be newsies in 1899, fighting a revolution that we believe in? Doesn't everyone want to?

Seventh, the people. Like, in general, are amazing. Some are @kingofbrooklynny, @c0ronas, @booksbroadwayandbagels , @we-dont-sell-papes, @well-the-kids-do-too , @soak-em, @timesarehardfornewsies, @kinghiggins , @king-of-newyork, @shes-the-apex-predator, @tis-my-cigar, @poorguysheadisdoingwhatnow and so many more!!! Seriously, you guys are amazing.

Look, fandoms are hard. There are gonna be cruel and heartless people and that can really drag everyone down, but even when times are hard, you just gotta remind yourself of the good.

#fandoms #newsies #newsies are amazing.#i had to rant #i love you guys #i know im not really apart of this and i left but i love you guys #and yall need a good reminder of who we are

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azraelskeith · 6 years

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Jack in Discord Drabble

One of the drabbles I made in Discord of a scenario what if Jack lurks in JSE Discord servers and sees our atrocities and stuff. I thought maybe I should post here too. This is the latest one, the previous ones will be posted soon haha

“Top of the morning to you laddies and welcome to this video… About you guys!” He smiled and pointed at the camera. “I wanted to have a chill video today and made me think to post something regarding my adventure so far! So recently, I’ve been lurking in this nifty app called Discord! I don’t have a server but the community has! I started lurking in some of the Jacksepticeye servers! Some are general servers for the community, some are fan games, some are roleplay based and so forth! It is so fun there, a lot more than I expected! I checked it out during my break months ago because I… You know, restricted myself to record that time and sooner or later, I check it a little often now.”

“You guys… Are insane! You all there for each other, sharing creations, there’s always a sort of meme and theorist channel, which I always there and read some.” He chuckled. “There are servers that has this support system as well. If it’s a bad day, there’s always people you can talk to, which I did both ways. Thanks for the help guys.” He smiled sweetly. “Anyway! Others are their fan game centric, which I learned some of the lore. There are some that has roleplay in it. It’s a crazy world out there but I like reading them, they really nail the egos, some even are tweaked and made it very interesting. There are some that has voice chats as well. It’s nice hearing your stories and it’s nice that the community is diverse and supportive! I’m really proud of you guys.” He smiled. The lights in the room suddenly blinked.

“Ah, there it goes again. I swear I have to change it-“ There is a heavy distortion. A laughter was heard. Then, there is a man sitting on the chair and seemed to be tied up. He is wearing a cap.

“Is anyone there?!”

The screen distorted again, there is a different man this time. He has a mask.

“Help us! He is here!”

It distorted again. This one is wearing a coat.

“Jack is in trouble! Save him! Save us!”

The screen distorted again. There is a man wearing a hat and a monocle. He is shaking and trying to remove himself from the ropes. His eyes went on the screen and wanted to shout but no words came out.

It distorted again. The man on the chair is slumped on the side, bloodied. He is wearing a mask and a cape. He looks… Heroic still.

In a blink of an eye, the screen distorted heavily and a familiar laugh was heard.

“Did you miss me?” He glitched.

“Don’t you all get it?! I’m a glitch! This is MY world! Of course, I will find you all, wherever you all are! They are so easy to get, what more of you?! I see and hear everything! All those mocking, calling me a turtle, laughing from that bastard who says I do yoga! Oh, do you think that is funny?! You thought I’m like them?! They are my creatures, my toys, my puppets! And you all are, too!” He grinned and holding his knife.

“Since you all thought this is only a game… Let’s play.” He glitched more heavily as the screen becomes black.

“See you soon.” He laughed and there is a glitch sound with numbers of 0s and 1s appearing for a split second before the video ends.

After that video, the community is burning once again, especially when they started to learn what the numbers mean: “And watch me conquer.”

And things went downhill.

#jacksepticeye #jse fanfiction #jack in discord

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punkgemjasper · 6 years

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This is not a fun post...

Seriously. I need to vent some stuff out and it’s going to get pretty heavy. Like, this is purely ramblings from my brain and from someone who is sick of everything in her life, barring say...a few exceptions (my girlfriend, online friends, like 2 friends who don’t do any of the things I’m about to say) I don’t expect anyone to read this, and that isn’t the point. I just want to scream at something that my ‘friends’ and my ‘family’ won’t see because a lot of what I have to say is about them. You’ve been warned if you read what I have to say...

First things first, a little bit about myself. I’m 25, a pansexual lesbian, and I’m butch. I’m a big girl, who’s been struggling with her weight since she was diagnosed with PCOS at the age of 16. I look intimidating, I look strong. I’m pretty much the very stereotypical looking ‘Butch Lesbian’ ...I get confused with a man a LOT. I am also someone who suffers from chronic pain. I have fibromyalgia, an ongoing stomach problem that means I can’t eat properly if at all some days, depression, but the kind of depression that I’ll have for the rest of my life, on top of an anxiety disorder, and anger management problems. It makes me feel like I’m some kind of roadmap of problems. Now, you see, there is an issue with being a butch girl. Can you figure that out? It ties in with a lot of the above problems, I have to appear strong. I have this unwritten obligation to the world that I’m not allowed to show emotions or cry because that would mean I appear weak in the eyes of everyone. It’s a problem that I’m probably not alone on honestly. So can you imagine my struggle when I need some help, a shoulder to cry on that isn’t my girlfriend, because I don’t want to put her through any more of my crying, just a friend who’s there for me. A lot of my friends, they all advocate against suicide, they all preach about going to get help, but when someone they know is actually suffering, they don’t give a shit. The last time I spoke up about my depression, and how badly I was treated by the mental health care team at the hospital you know what I got? My head bitten off for being appalled by the way I was being treated, like the fact I was complaining about the NHS and a supposed ‘mental health worker,’ who only wanted to berate my family, who at the time could not help me, my dad was dying from stage 4 lung and brain cancer, my mum is legally blind, neither of them can drive and I was in no state to be anywhere near trains, let alone travel the 2 hours it takes for me to get back to my parents. Hell, the reason I was at the hospital in the first place was that I was going to find a way to do some serious harm to myself. You know who calmed me down in the end and stopped me? My girlfriend. My mum. An A&E nurse had more empathy and understanding than the actual psychologist they threw at me. Or whenever I speak up, I get ignored, or slapped down and told ‘you’re feelings are not as bad as my feelings,’ constantly, by a lot of people in my life. Like I’m not allowed to feel pain, or depressed or anything. It was meant to be my dad’s birthday yesterday, it was hard, I didn’t bother saying anything about it, not properly, because no one would care. When I did say something, only ONE person actually made sure I was okay, a friend in America who never even knew my dad, do you know how badly I wanted to be with them? Just so I could have that needed support, a drink and a hug? Not a single one of my friends in England gave a fuck. No one thought to just ask if I was doing okay. That’s a running theme and it’s a cycle I have to keep explaining to any professional I end up talking to...I speak up, I get slapped down, so then I don’t speak up so I don’t get slapped down...see how that can damage someone? No one knows just how bad I am because I can’t tell them just how bad I am. Mum knows, she knows just how bad I can become but recently, she just...doesn't care as much as she used to. These days, our conversations just seem to be about her new ‘boyfriend,’ or borrowing money from me. Most of the time it is to help feed the dogs, granted, I love my dogs, even Ludo who isn’t 100% there with trusting me yet, I’d give everything I had for them, but it’s getting to the point of where I want to sit my own mother down and go through her payments like she did with me years ago, it becomes a problem you get jaded to. So I don’t bother to say how bad my depression is because, like the above with my friends, I tend to get ignored, slapped down with the ‘me too’, or worse...told to grow up and stop being dramatic. Something I’ve been told since I was a child and this is what it has done to me. Created an irrational fear of opening up to anyone, so when I do get bad, I explode. I explode in such a way that I hurt myself, end up having to need help from either my GP or the hospital, and then someone finally fucking realises...but even then I get no help. Or at least no the right kind of help, that I keep having to tell them. Being talked to like I’m an idiot when I’m debating if I should throw myself in front of a bus, isn’t fun. The line, ‘Oh you’ll be fine soon, it says in your notes you do this kind of thing a lot,’ will ALWAYS haunt me. That was what someone who was a MENTAL HEALTH CARE NURSE said to me. While I was shouting at him that I didn’t need an ‘autism specialist,’ that my autism isn’t the cause of my suicidal depression, that my years of being bullied, abused and ignored was the cause, but he didn’t give a shit. Kept speaking down to me...yet again. The one who stopped me was my girlfriend. But you see, I don’t cut myself, I don’t overdose, I don’t do any of that...I punch things, I break my knuckles, over and over again. But the frustration builds up and I lash out. It’s scary, I understand that it is, anyone who’s seen my rare selfies, can see why it’s so scary...but they can’t see past that to stop me, from doing it in the first place. ...Except for my girlfriend. (It all keeps coming back round to her, she’s currently the only one I can confidently say, is keeping me from doing something fucking stupid. And I know for a fact she’ll read this, please don’t worry. I know you will. But I’m not going to do anything stupid, I’m not going to hurt myself. I just need to vent and I don’t want to burden you with anything more than I already have...it’s not fair. You’re also suffering from your own problems, and the last thing I was to do is make them worse, or invalidate them with any of this, like the way everyone does to me.) Now, back onto the whole...lack of support. I’m surrounded by people who have the same problems as I do, but whenever they speak up, they get bombarded with help, love and support, but when I do the same...nothing. Not even a message or a ‘here is this nice picture, hope it helps,’ nothing. Hell...I’m even being fucking isolated and almost ostracized from things I used to love doing. I KNOW this for a fact. I’ve been told about RPGs that I have expressed HUGE interest in joining, running without me, and I’m supposed to smile and go ‘haha yeah. Awesome...’ a hobby that once saved my life I’m now starting to hate because of my so-called ‘friends’. I don’t understand why. I have a theory. But I don’t even want to go down that route, because if I do, I’m just going to lose all hope in my friends and just stop giving a fuck. Which is something I don’t want to do.

A big part of my personality is the fact that I enjoy helping people, the look on someone face when I help them, it’s not been uncommon of me to stay up till the light of morning with someone from another country, to make sure they had someone there for them so they didn’t hurt themselves. I wanted to go into counselling to help people like myself. One day, I might still do. I want to. If I stopped giving a shit, that’s when I know something is seriously wrong with me and it’s getting to that point. The point of where I just don’t care anymore. The thought of ‘if you’re not going to help or listen to me, why the fuck should I help and listen to you?’ I feel so done with everyone, however, I’m reaching my limit with just how much I can take and it truly does feel like I’m teetering on a knife-edge. One more thing could tip me off that point and I tumble off. But at the same time, I don’t know what the fuck to do about any of it. Like I said...I’m not allowed to say anything, because it’s either My problems aren’t as bad as their problems I’m just being over dramatic Or How dare I say such things So I’m probably going to slip back into wearing a mask again. A false smile to hide the pain I’m going through each and every fucking day. I could take pills, anti-depressants and the like but the side effects. Oh boy, do I get those. From the feeling even worse to being sexually fucking numb, I get them and I get them BAD and with my current health issues, being my stomach, I don’t really want to risk anything that could make that worse. I’m stuck in a bind. See, there’s another thing that bothers me...I get more support from strangers online, as in people I chat to when I’m not a total mess, on discord, or on here, than I do with people I know outside of the internet. People who only know me as either Zorin or Punk Gem or whatever handle I use, treat me better and actually care more about me than the friends who know me as Lauren. That speaks fucking volumes because I’m no different in my real life than I portray online you know? If anything I’m even shyer! But what the hell is going wrong in my life that people online, in other countries, apparently value me more as a person than those who live 10 minutes away. It wouldn’t have been my dad’s birthday yesterday. He passed away on boxing day, something I’m not over, last year. I said something about it, and you want to know the ONLY person to comment on that? To make sure I was okay, so say ‘I’m here if you need me,’ an American friend. Someone who I’ve only met once, and he never even knew my dad but had a drink to his memory anyway. It was both heartwarming and soul destroying because it’s an eye-opening experience for me. If someone that far away, who has a job, his own life, has the time to just check in on me, then what the fuck is wrong with everyone else? If I say anything about that by the way, it’ll be ‘OH I’m sorry, I didn’t see it!’. Bullshit. I wasn’t quiet about it. It was a huge fucking post pinned to my facebook wall yesterday. Fuck you. You also want to know what I don’t want? Being dragged into family drama that I want no fucking part of. My dad’s side of the family vs my mum. That’s all I’ll hear when I go back home for a weekend, is bitching and moaning about my dad’s family and I just have to smile, nod and agree. I don’t want any part of it, not when my head is already a mess from everything that has happened to me over two fucking years. And once again...can’t talk about that to anyone. So you see, I’m stuck in this cycle. Doomed if I speak up, doomed if I don’t. Thank you, if you bothered to read any of this. I don’t expect anything from this, I just needed to get a lot off of my chest, and this isn’t the tip of the iceberg. I have a lot. A lot of heavier stuff that I’m keeping quiet, because what I have to say, should only be heard by a professional.

#my ramblings #I'm so sorry #i needed to vent #suicide mention #depression talk #it's a long one

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taibu · 6 years

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Zenyatta-week 2018 Day 5. Travels

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I have no idea lel. Take this as one of those stories-with-very-non-linear-plots, mmkay? I honestly had no idea what to do to this one haha. Warnings: ANGST. Like holy fuck there is a lot of angst in this one. Mentions of Mondatta's death. Mentions of panic-attacks. Omnics cry coolant-tears. They can also dream because BUTTERFLY-VOICE-LINE BITCHES. Interactions can be taken as Genyatta but can also be seen as platonic if you like that better.

Travels Tekhartha Zenyatta had seen most of the world with his own optics. He had seen the mountains of Nepal, buzzing streets of India, industrial sheen of Korea, wonderful shrines of China, and the cherry trees of Japan. He had seen America, great and powerful. He had been in the calm forests of Canada. He had resisted the heat and moisture of the Amazon. He had seen the people of Africa, poor and hungry. He had admired the pyramids of Egypt. He had traveled trough Europe and felt like he had been in every nook and cranny there was. The old castles of German. Fields of Poland. Factories of Russia. He had seen the snowy mountains of Sweden, camped in the fresh forest air in Finland. And he loved them all. They all had their charm to themselves that made the place unique, and that fascinated Zenyatta. How people were so different, and yet so similar in each place. How they worked, how they lived, the social structures, nature and technology. The omnic found appreciation for each centimeter for the world. Expect for one place. One place he could not enjoy no matter how hard he tried. No matter how many times he went there, the pain was always the same. King's Row, England. He didn't have to explain himself to anyone when they found out he didn't fancy the place. Everyone knew why. And if they didn't, all they had to do was to look around a bit and they understood. Hate towards omnics was everywhere in the city. Writings on the walls, posters torn and painted on, omnics being told to go and stay underground. Zenyatta had seen many places where omnics were treated like enemies, but somehow King's Row seemed like a lost cause to him. That no matter where he turned, everyone wanted him crapped. Maybe it was the dim lighting of King's Row's streets, maybe it was the stares of the people, maybe it was the hateful shouts thrown his way... Or maybe it was that golden statue of Mondatta in the middle of it all. Zenyatta had officially visited the statue twice. Once with the Shambali, once with Genji. Both times it was clean and polished by the staff of the King's Row's City Hall, just for him and his fellow visitors. But when he would visit it without informing the City Hall, he would find the statue littered with graffiti. Hurtful things written all over it, covered by peace- and equality-posters only for them to be covered up too. Zenyatta would stand there, sometimes for hours if he could, just reading the texts and trying to understand the hate behind them. He never truly could. When some punks had then came with the intentions to destroy the serenity of the statue even more, who was Zenyatta to stop them? If he beat the young ones up, it would only create more discord between the omnics and human here. It was just hard sometimes, to watch the only thing you have left of your brother being destroyed over and over again... Mondatta was not here. He was buried in a morgue in the Monastery, under another huge statue of himself, this time made out of humble stone, not gold. His body rusted away in the stone-chamber, where the higher monks would visit once a year to bring incense and flowers. But Zenyatta would never be able to visit that place again. He had visited it once, on Mondatta's funeral. That was the last time he saw his brother's physical being, and it was inside that cold stone room... He could not even fathom the idea of seeing him now. Rusted and faded... Zenyatta wanted to remember Mondatta as a shining, tall and strong figure. He wanted to remember his voice, deep and booming, yet calming and serene. He wanted to remember his touch, strong yet gentle. He wanted to remember his embrace, his soothing words of comfort, his promise that everything was going to be okay, that they would be free one day, that they would forever be together- Zenyatta woke up with a jolt in his systems. He could hear the little mechanic voice in him repeat the same warning of overheating over and over again. Zenyatta sighed and turned the warning off. The cool air of the night would cool his systems up soon enough. It had been like this for a while now. Zenyatta would have dreams of his past travels, beautiful places, beautiful memories. Only to end up in King's Row, and eventually the damn omnioum he was created in and trained to do his job, beaten and spat on. It would not be so bad if it wasn't for him appearing in the dreams every time, as vibrant and feeling and sounding so damn real. Zenyatta could still feel the touch of his brother's hand on his shoulder. His sensors didn't notice his own hand trailing on that spot as if to reach for Mondatta until he indeed didn't feel anything on his fingers except for his own shoulder. Empty. Cold. Zenyatta's machinery hiccuped. He curled into a ball and let the coolant drip from his optics as the little voice in him started blaring the warning again.

"Master?" Zenyatta didn't remember falling back into rest-mode. Hearing Genji's voice woke him up from it as he slowly onlined his optics to find himself still laying, curled up into a ball, one hand resting on his empty shoulder. "Good morning, Genji." he mustered out of his voice-box. He was surprised it came out so calm and soft. So normal. "Master, is everything alright?" the cyborg asked, sitting next to Zenyatta in a lotus-position. The omnic held back a sigh. He had so hoped Genji would not notice his sorrow. Not anymore. He got up, slowly, to make sure he would not seem too eager to get out of the situation. "I'm quite fine, my student, thank you for asking." the omnic chimed, putting his legs into lotus-position as well and slowly floating up just few inches. He hated to lie to Genji, to anyone really, but he didn't want to bother his student with his own problems too much... He had already done enough. It had been six months already. Since they got the news from Mondatta's fate. They had been visiting a small village with only one working tv, situated in a local pub. The news were on when they sat there, Genji enjoying a stiff drink and Zenyatta drinking some oil. Zenyatta was just about to tell one of his favorite jokes when his audio-receptors caught the faint sound of the Tv saying "Earlier today, Shambali's leader Tekhartha Mondatta was assassinated on King's Row". Everything had been a blur since then. He could only remember few moments from here and there. Genji's voice calling his, either by "master" or the very rare case his actual name. Feeling of being carried and gently put down on something soft, most likely a bed in the local cheap motel. Waking up screaming and crying. Being held close and hearing soothing words, though Zenyatta could not remember what the words said exactly. He also remembered a song. Well, more of a rhythm of the song, since he could not remember the words. It had taken Zenyatta two whole weeks to start functioning properly again. And when he did, he begged Genji to tell him it had all been a bad dream. Genji didn't say anything. He simply sighed. Sad. Hollow. Mourning. They were in Nepal, and Zenyatta later found out that the Shambali had send a drop-ship to pick the two up after Genji had informed them of his situation. Zenyatta felt awful to have caused so much trouble, but Genji, and everyone else he had apologized for, told him that his reaction was completely justified. Mondatta was gone. He was never going to come back. He had died. Zenyatta repeated this to himself many times a day, trying to cope with the thought. His dear brother, first one who showed his love and affection, first one to call him family, first one to protect and care for him. His rock, his mountain. Was gone. Zenyatta often found himself overheating on the floor, sobbing and hiccuping as his processors were coping with his mental progressing. Each surfacing memory, each familiar scent, feel and even color could trigger what must have been the omnic-equivalent of a panic-attack. And each time Genji would find him, hold him, sooth him with words, and... hum. That same tune Zenyatta remembered from those two painful first weeks. The funeral was absolute pain. Not the fact that he would have to stare his offlined brother for what must have been the longest day of his life, listen to visitors giving their condolences, having to shoo off media and reporters trying to break their way to the private funeral. It was fighting back every processor inside him telling him to run to his brother, hold him, beg him to get up, get up and live, damn it! He could not die! Not like this! He was supposed to live long and happy! With his brother! With his family and friends!! Thank the Iris for Genji. Dear, strong and sweet Genji. He was always there, right besides Zenyatta. He would stand there, giving moral support. He would land his hand on his shoulder, like he had, or arm for reassurance. When a reporter would ask for an interview, Genji would take a freedom to ever so kindly kick their asses off the monastery. When there was a quiet moment, or when Zenyatta needed one, Genji would pull him behind the corner and embrace him. That gave Zenyatta enough mental energy to power trough the day. Zenyatta refused the leadership the first thing next morning. He didn't want to linger in the place any longer than he absolutely needed to. He gave hasty goodbyes to everyone and left to continue Genji's training. He need to. His soul begged him to MOVE. Months flew by and the panic-attacks stopped. Memories started to fade. Pain started to go numb. But the dreams. They stayed. And Genji knew they did. He must have seen it. Many times by now. It didn't help that they often shared a tent or a spot on the soft grass to rest in. Genji was indeed still part human and needed at least 8 hours of sleep. And Zenyatta needed to recharge his machinery. Genji refused to sleep far away from Zenyatta. He wanted to be close. And part of Zenyatta was glad. Feeling the cyborg's presence helped him power off for the night. But it didn't take away the nightmares. "Master." Genji said, with a serious tone. "Please tell me if something is bothering you." Zenyatta stayed quiet a second too long to seem truly innocent. "I do not quite understand what you me-" "Don't lie to me, Zenyatta." The serious tone and the usage of the real name made Zenyatta float down on the grass and sigh. He felt his walls come down again. "Master, I know you have nightmares every night. I know they are about Mondatta. And I know they bother you." Genji said. "It hurts me to watch you suffer, master." the cyborg then said, almost like a whisper. "And not being allowed to help..." Zenyatta didn't really realize what he was doing before his arms already were around Genji's neck and his faceplate resting against the cyborg's shoulder. But it felt right so he didn't abort the move. "I'm sorry Genji." the omnic stuttered. He was overheating again. "I just... don't want to cause you more trouble... You've done so much to me already, I can't possibly ask for more!" Genji didn't wrap his arms around the omnic which made Zenyatta panic for a second, had he stepped over his boundaries? Instead the cyborg held the monk's shoulders with his strong hands and gently pushed them apart only so he would face Zenyatta. "Master. You helped me find peace with myself and my new body. You helped me forgive my brother, the mad who I have hated more than ten years of my life! You showed me wonderful things on our travels! You made me whole, Zenyatta." A pause. "Helping you become whole again is the least I can do to pay back to you." Now Genji embraced the omnic, who found coolant falling from his optics again. This time due to a different emotion than sorrow.

"Genji?" "Yes Master?" "Can you... do something for me?" "Anything!" "Can you... sing that song? The same you did when..." Silence. A small laugh from Genji. "Of course..." Hearing the familiar tune soothes Zenyatta. He lays his head back in Genji's lap. It feels weird, having their roles switched like this. But it's nice so the omnic doesn't complain. This kinda reminds him of when he and Mond- His core freezes for a slit second. But Genji's voice brings him back. Zenyatta's fans kick in and start bringing in the cool air around him. Omnic's way of taking a deep breath, you could say. Zenyatta looks up to the cyborg. He feels safe. He feels happy. True, it will still hurt. For the rest of his life it will hurt. Each time he thinks of Mondatta. Each time he goes to King's Row. Each time he thinks of home. But now Zenyatta knows that he isn't travelling the path of life alone. Zenyatta let's his systems go offline while he listens to Genji's voice. And he dreams again. But this time it's different. Zenyatta is on one of the fields of Poland. Mondatta is there, sitting and gathering flowers for a flower-crown he is working on. Besides him Genji lays and looks at the clouds while chewing on a string of hay. Zenyatta feels the embrace of the Iris in him again. He feels happy. He sits between his brother and student and gently leans on Mondatta's shoulder. Mondatta simply puts his hand on his brother's shoulder. Zenyatta reaches to touch it. He wishes he could smile. It's there. He can feel it. END

#zenyattaweek2018 #zenyatta #overwatch #genji #genyatta #sorta #mondatta #panic attack #mentioned death #angst #i'm sorry for all the angst #i'll get it out of my system and draw something cute after the week is over mkay?

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igumdrop · 6 years

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WOAH, it’s october?!

hmm...october...was a weird month. i think the first two weeks were super chill, and then the last two weeks came crashing down on me. i also went to twitchcon which was an AMAZING experience! i’m sure you guys have seen a ton of photos and videos of it on social media already, so i won’t talk about it too much, but it really was amazing meeting any of you guys in real life :) my line was filled for my meet & greet and it shocked me...in a good way of course!

here’s a really janky picture of my twitchcon day 2 outfit (i trust you guys don’t share these outside the sub community...i post the photos that didn’t make it here HAHA)

i had midterms surrounding twitchcon, so i flew back to new york with lots of studying to do with very little time! i managed, though, here’s some photos from my studying sessions/relaxing boba walks:

i honestly felt so much stress during study week, i can’t even talk about it because it makes me feel the stressed again...HAHA, i’m sure you guys can understand though. luckily i got an 85 for my discrete exam (which i swear i was going to get a 30 on) because of my op friend seean who cram studied with me and taught me everything. i’m so used to studying alone irl and not really making a lot of friends in my classes so it was a blessing to be honest T_T...

i honestly had a pretty boring month other than twitchcon...sorry my life isn’t more exciting HAHA, but i did take a lot of selfies this month. here’s me extremely bored on campus even though i have tons of work to do:

i realized that even though i’m so extremely extroverted at events, on stream, or just in my normal element in general, i seriously crave my alone time and need it desperately or else i’ll collapse, HAHA. i used to hate living alone in new york being away from all my friends, and of course i’d still love to be around them any opportunity i get...but i’ve made the best out of it and have come to appreciate the alone time! i think something that’s taken for granted is just being able to walk around alone outside while listening to our favorite playlist. i just love watching the world alone..what do you guys think?

i’m sure you guys all know that my monitor broke along with my laptop, especially during a stressful af week T_T but honestly streaming made me feel so so much better. it’s such a huge stress reliever for me to be able to stream and talk to you guys. also big thanks to johnathan (even though i feel like he really doesn’t like the spotlight but i can’t help it) for being so generous and helping me in my time of need. i cry everytime...and shout out to everyone of you who give me so much emotional support in chat, it really means the world to me.

i bet a lot of you guys are working super hard and not getting the credit for it...i was talking to raigee about his schedule and holy crap he told me he works 12 hour shifts 6-7 days for the past 3 weeks. isn’t that crazy? but it made me think about how much hard work everyone else is putting into their jobs or school, and i just wanted to tell you guys i’m so proud! i really am. here’s a quote i like(but please don’t feel like you have to go through things alone, it’s just a motivator for self-encouragement...i probably would have worded it differently but the meaning of the quote still reaches me):

sometimes, it’s not even that we don’t have people to go to for encouragement, but we can’t just expect people to say the things we want to hear. that’s why i think it’s important to remember to motivate ourselves, compliment ourselves, and really try to encourage ourselves to keep going. but i do think it’s much easier when you’re not alone... i kind of want to make a channel in discord (maybe a private one) for anyone who wants to share their feelings and confide in others, and for anyone who wants to help out whenever they can with full sincerity. i feel bad if you guys pour your thoughts out in a random main chat where the dynamic can be half joking, half serious. do you guys think that’d be a good idea? let me know <3

there’s been a lot of shootings recently, a lot of horrible events happening. i won’t talk about it too much because it does get me emotional since it’s a topic i feel like i can do nothing to change, but...it made me realize how kind each and everyone of you are, and how you guys must not be aware of how much you already contribute to the world. this is probably my favorite quote of the month hehe:

so thank you guys for being so kind, soft-hearted, and considerate of others. we are a reflection of those around us, so if you guys just feel ‘’normal’’ and don’t feel like you’re doing anything special, just remember that you really are. it’s easy for us to feel like we blend in or are just average, but on a global level you guys are seriously amazing and i hope you know that.

i have lived a lot of my life being somewhat of a pushover, or giving away time and effort that hasn’t been reciprocated. i have been backstabbed or turned against as well, and it makes me feel like wow...what is even the point of being nice, kind, or giving? but you guys take those thoughts and doubts in my head. i don’t ever want to stop loving people or giving to people because you guys have shown so much love to me. i’ve learned to give by embracing the appreciation i get back, and i think that’s more than enough to make me happy! but i do hope you guys prioritze yourselves over giving to other people: please remember that. just like how you guys wouldn’t want me to give away myself completely to the point where i’m losing out of it or hurting myself, i want the same for you guys.

oh god this post was so rushed, i have to go to sleep because i have class early tomorrow. i usually grammar-check my post and delete unnecessary sentences (i tend to write TOO much and it waters down the meaning) but it’s already 4:28 AM and i must go! hopefully i can edit this tomorrow or something because i feel bad for making you guys read this horrible jumbled mush LOL okay well, i love you guys! bye!

jaime

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paradox-oflife · 4 years

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massive q and a post part 5 ignore this pls

(unless ur interested)

1. Do you have a favourite mug? Not really. I had one that was literally so cute it was like a neko atsume art style and it was a cat going uwu

2. Do you know any self defense or martial arts? Yes, actually. My mom was pretty supportive for it because the women’s side on our family is all under 5′2″. I did Aikido and Muay Thai throughout from the beginning of high school to the end. I don’t have as much time in college anymore though, but I’m looking forwards to starting it again. I’ve had to use it one time in my life. Hey Angelica, if you’re reading this you should ask me about it. That’s a story for later though.

3. Who's your favourite movie action hero? uuuuuh Thor? idk

4. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? Haha in Taiwan that’s the main form of transportation. It’s an electric scooter.

5. Do you collect anything? I wear retainers when I sleep so I have an ongoing collection of retainer cases.

6. Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? i was never really one for fashion haha

7. Do you stick to conventional fashions or like to try and be original? bro i literally wear like a sweater, tshirt, and black jeans.

8. Have you ever given someone a handmade present? I did a woodburning painting of kermit the frog for my friend’s bday

9. Are you introvert or extrovert? I used to be an extrovert, then I turned into an ambivert. High school made me more introverted. So on the spectrum, I’m in the middle but more towards introvert now.

10. If you could have any feature from an animal what would you want? Hmmm. I’m not sure actually. Wings? But that’s kind of inconvenient when I want to sleep.

11. Whats your prefered swimming stroke? Freestyle all the way

12. Have you ever been scuba diving? No

13. Have you ever had a disasterous interview? So far, no, but an interviewer once said I seemed very nervous lol.

14. What makes you nervous? A lot of things really. Too many.

15. Which of the 5 senses would you say is your strongest? Not eyesight because I’m slightly colorblind. Not hearing because I was born with tinnitus. Maybe smell? Or touch? But how do you compare that to taste? Idk

16. What colour are your eyes? Your average asian dark brown

17. Have you ever been to an Art gallery? Yeah. It’s pretty nice, but it’s hard to enjoy it when your impatient brother thinks it’s boring and wants to move on

18. Do you shout out the answers at the TV whilst watching quiz shows? All the time man. Granted that I actually know what the answer is

19. Are you a valuable asset on a Pub Quiz team? (equivalent to trivia quizzes) To a certain extent I suppose

20. Have you ever won any kind of quiz yourself? Yeah, name the countries. My geography isn’t too bad

21. Do you get over-involved with TV or movie plots at times? Um yes haha

22. Do you own any inflatable furniture? No, but I’d totally get one if it looked sick

23. Whats the highest hill or mountain you've ever climbed? Yosemite’s “Oh my Gosh Point”. The hike up there is so freaking hard because it’s like a 2 hour uphill climb. But the view is so worth it. It literally took my breath away.

24. Do you have a piggy bank? Nope

25. Whats the fastest you've ever travelled in a car? Not that fast. Like idk, maybe in an empty highway.

26. Could you ever hand milk a cow? I mean... if I had to

27. Do you have popcorn with a movie? Yeah, if I’m hungry. But otherwise I stay off movie snacks because it’s hella expensive.

28. Whats the futhest you've ever got a paper airplane to fly? 20 feet.

29. Have you ever built an igloo? Nope

30. Can you play the harmonica? It doesn’t sound good but yeah

31. Have you ever made a ball of twine or rubberbands? One time, it took forever to make though. My brother and I were being a bit too careless and it somehow exploded.

32. If given the option of having sprinkles in your ice cream do you always take it? Nah. Some ice cream is so good without any added sugar.

33. Could you ever be a living organ donor? Uuuuh, maybe. God my answer sounds so pretentious but if I was a dead body, yeah, sure go for it! Do whatever.

34. Which was your favourite science? Biology, Physics or Chemistry? Bio and Chem were hard but I’m taking it rn so it’s fine. Physics was lowkey boring but it was easy due to being math based.

35. Would you ever go out with someone just cause they're rich? Nope.

36. Have you ever contemplated sueing someone? haha no

37. Are you pretty devious? Only when it comes to fun games. If it’s a legitimate match in Martial Arts, or some type of thing like that I don’t cheat.

38. Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) No, the parties I ever go to are just small get togethers.

39. Are you any good at giving massages? No, I kinda feel awkward when I do it.

40. Whats been your worst date ever? Haha imagine having a relationship ;w;

41. Have you ever slapped someone in public? My brother, but it was in a playful manner

42. Have you ever drawn on a sleeping or inebriated person? Yes. Good thing they’re pretty chill. Me and my friend were wheezing.

43. Have you ever warn clothing with the labels/tags still attached? Yeah, and I didn’t even notice until my friend pointed it out.

44. Have you ever slipped on a banana skin? No, but I have seen someone do it before.

45. Are you scared of the dark? Nah.

46. Do you have a lawyer? Nope

47. Have you ever been wolf whistled in public? Uuuh my friend did it out loud in public to me before and I punched her so hard.

48. Whats the worst pickup line you've heard? Something to do with chickens and impeccable?? Can’t remember exactly what it was but I remember cringing.

49. Have you ever been water skiing? Nope

50. Have you ever hopelessly failed a test? Omg yeah in Alg 2/Trig I bombed the HELL out of my first trig test.

51. If you had a year off, what would you want to do? Um, I guess there’s not much I can do because I’m not that rich.

52. How many sms/txt messages do you recieve on average a day? From my discord group chat, a lot. But actual direct text, maybe like 3.

53. How long did you last phone call last? 5 minutes.

54. Do you go to flea markets? Sometimes, if I have time.

55. If you saw someone drop a $10 note, would you claim it for your own or try to return it to them? Return it to them.

56. Have you ever helped someone across the road? No, haven’t stumbled upon that situation yet.

57. Have you ever been horseriding? Nope

58. Have you ever walked a tightrope? Nope x100

59. Have you ever demolished a wall or building? Yeah, it was a thin wall and I used a hammer.

60. If you and a friend both wanted the same thing would you let the friend get it first? Of course, they’re my friend and they deserve the world :)

61. Have you ever argued over who should pay for something? um YES have you ever been to an Asian dinner with other asian families??? The fight to pay the bill for your mates is a war.

62. Do you have any family heirlooms? Nah

63. Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? No, but it’d be kind of cool.

64. Whats your favourite ocean? The pacific I guess? Idk there’s only seven to choose from

65. Do you correct peoples mistakes? Nah, unless it’s a super important one.

66. Have you ever helped out an injured animal? Yes it was a hummingbird that crashed into my window

67. Do you throw bread for the ducks? I did in New Zealand, but I found out that it was bad so...

68. Do you think babies are little bundles of joy or smelly noisey things? Both

69. Do you give money to street performers? Nah

70. Have you ever tossed your own pancake? Yup

71. Are you any good at egg and spoon races? Bruh i’ve never actually done it before but I’d probably be bad lol

72. Are you allergic to anything? High dosage of cortisone cream

73. Are you ticklish? If you taser me and squeeze my thighs

74. Do you prefer tea,coffee or cocoa? Tea all the way baby

75. Do you like Turkish Delight? If I’m thinking of the right thing, I think they’re alright

76. Do you buy people presents to bring back when you go on holiday? Only for those that ask me

77. Are you tired of answering questions yet? Not yet Angelica!! Keep ‘em coming

78. Have you ever been wheelbarrow racing? No

79. Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails? Never

80. Do you often have a tune in your head you can't name? YEAH it’s classical music so i can’t search up lyrics

81. Has anyone ever approached you thinking you were someone else? Yes. Their excuse was all asians look the same (?!)

82. Have you ever been approached by someone who knew you but you couldn't remember them for the life of you? Yes it was so awkward I kept calling them “dude” until they went away

83. What do you do to keep fit? All I really do is jumprope, some pushups, planks, that sort of thing

84. Are you the sort to step in and try to break up a fight? Depends on who’s in the fight. Sometimes if you try to get involved, they’ll start attacking you

85. Have you ever been in a fight? Yes, ask me about it

86. Have you ever started a rumour? Nah, ya girl aint like that

87. Have you ever heard any outstanding rumours about yourself? YES. Some boy said I got into a car crash. Then one day after school some of my acquaintances asked me if I was okay and I was like ???? what?? Weirdest rumor ever

88. Have you ever been in or had a food fight? Nope

89. When its your birthday do you always wear an age badge? I think this is another UK thing because i’ve literally never heard of anyone doing this before

90. Have you ever starred in an amateur or professional video? Nope. I mean, depends what you mean by amateur. I’ve been in a couple of school projects.

91. If you were comfortably rich would you work hard for more or rest on your laurels? Work, but in a laidback job. Like a flowershop keeper or something.

92. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yeah, one time in elementary school when the teacher left for the bathroom, she put me in charge B)

93. Have you ever been caught in a compromising position? even despite a valid explanation? uuuh no

94. Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol? Nah because I’m underage

95. If you were ruler of your own country what would you call it? No idea

96. And what title would you give yourself? I’d be the founder, but leave the government stuff to other people. Like I’d be in textbooks, people will be like “Oh yeah, that’s esther she’s pretty cool, she founded this country.” But I wouldn’t do anything.

97. Have you ever had a dream you chased only to be let down when you achived it? Mm it’s comparable to buying an outfit and thinking it’d look nice on you but when you put it on you look bad.

98. Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don't understand or comprehend? How oblivious they can be sometimes. like learn to read between the lines man..

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