#so she fucked her boyfriend because thats a decision She could make about Her Own Life and Her Own Body.

[jackietaylorgf]

i literally wont stand for the dawniefication of callie. the most annoying character in yellowjackets??? multiple people saying they wish she didnt exist and they hate her and she's just in the way and they want her to die. are you insane?? she is a Child living in the shadow of her mom's dead best friend that she never knew because her she froze to death in the wilderness years before callie was born. she is a little girl whose entire world got fucked up because she found out her mom is a murderer and her dad is a (bad) blackmailer and now they've all been backed into trying to cover up a murder. her whole life just got upended against her will. of course shes going to lash out on her parents and break up with her high school boyfriend and lie about staying at a friend's house and go to a bar she's not supposed to be at and date an older man she's not supposed to be seeing. even if it's destructive it's something she can control! the comfortable boring Safe life she thought she had was ripped away from her so yeah she's doing reckless shit without thinking about the consequences bc that's all she Can do.

it's dawn summers being voted the most annoying character on television ever all over again. you people just hate teenage girls when they act like teenage girls.

#obviously i didnt watch buffy as it aired bc i was negative 3 years old but i was so shocked when i read that people Viscerally Hated dawn. #AND SHES JUST LIKE HER MOTHER. AND JUST LIKE JACKIE. #do you think teen shauna slept with jeff because she was a master manipulator who wanted to ruin jackie's life? NO. #she never intended for jackie to find out! she did it because things were changing and jackie was making decisions about her for her. #also the gay stuff. her desire for jackie runs so deep that she cant separate it from jealousy and she can't pinpoint what she wants etc. #not really my point rn. #so she fucked her boyfriend because thats a decision She could make about Her Own Life and Her Own Body. #i know headlines are supposed to be provocative but that one Is the most annoying. actually. #i didnt read the article bc the headline pissed me off too bad #dawn summers and callie sadecki i will live fight and die for you both. my best friends. #yellowjackets #callie #ri.txt

[quietwingsinthesky]

I think the nature of Clara haterism on Tumblr can’t be fully understood without the historical context of 2013. Namely that by the time of DW season 7b Moffat was widely hailed as The Bogeyman Of All Misogyny Ever. Clara was considered THE prototypical Shallow Moffat Girl, and she became a sort of figurehead for everything wrong with the show. (Bc everyone was maybe 14 and Smith was too beloved to insult.) Consequently, she evokes a kneejerk bad faith reading response in many users even today.

yeah, alright, i can see that. i am surprised that, at least as far as i’ve seen, amy & river don’t get the same treatment? or if they did, it hasn’t persisted half as long as opinions on clara have. Because having now seen how all three of them were written, amy got treated. so much worse with The Misogyny™️, and River bounces between ‘actually a fascinating character’ and ‘moffat wrote a sexy girlboss who wants to fuck the doctor’ so hard it gives me whiplash. (and i say this as a River enjoyer, I love her and she deserves so much better lmao.)

Of the three of them, I think Clara actually comes out a lot better written overall? She’s allowed more space to be a character rather than be a woman, if that makes sense. Sure, bit of a rocky start in s7, and I can certainly see why the Impossible Girl thing could be aggravating to some people. (I think it was. Fine. fantastic episode conceptually that sort of fell apart when it came to actually doing anything.) but Clara in s8 (and the start of s9) is fantastic. Her relationship with Danny and the Doctor is messy and deceptive and so understandable. “Listen” as an episode almost felt like ‘hey what if the clara putting herself in the doctor’s past was actually interesting and impacted him’. Her becoming more like the Doctor, especially after losing Danny, both as an effort to hold on tight to the only person she perceives as keeping her moving forward and giving her a purpose AND because to her, the Doctor is able to lose so much and not be destroyed by it and she wants that (without really understanding just how much this life is fucking him up, too.), is just. fantastic.

where was i going with this. i have no idea. my point, i think, is: i guess i can see how initial reactions to clara might color a less than flattering picture of the rest of her, but :( consider: i love her so so much and everyone should be niceys to her.

#i was sort of neutral on clara for most of s7 i think #she had great moments but i think a lot of what was holding her back was the same thing holding most of eleven’s seasons back as a whole #which to me was. what the fuck are they doing with that guy. does anyone know. did anyone have a thesis in mind for this man. #which makes it hard to build a companion around him as a foil because what are you foiling. #amy & rory didn’t have this problem as much because they were a set do not separate and thus could play off each other as well #(river. is another story.) #and because 11’s relationship with the ponds was maybe the one thing the show kept on track the whole time and understood what it was doing #with them. clara’s is. a lot messier. it’s both building to a twist with the impossible girl thing that’s. a bit lackluster. #and then 11 without the ponds is. kind of a mess. like. character-wise. even more so than before. as far as i perceived it anyway. #but 12 does not have that problem! 12 starts off with a bang knowing exactly where he’s going as the doctor and what question he’s answering #about himself. and that gives clara so much more room to grow herself as she patterns herself after him both to feel important and to escape #the horrifyingly mundane trauma of her boyfriend. dying. in a normal way. that was also her own fault. (not really but i believe she thinks #it is.) #you know. if s8 12 is asking ‘is the doctor a good man?’ and answering ‘no. he’s just a man. he’s just there and he makes the decisions #and he doesn’t even know if they’re the right ones.’ #then s8-s9 clara is responding with ‘well. if the doctor isn’t a hero. then what happens when someone tries to emulate him that sees him as #one. or worse: as someone who ought to be one.’ #and the answer seems to be ‘bad idea. very very bad idea. this is fucking her up so bad and she doesn’t even realize it.’ #granted im not at the end of this plotline but so far: ITS GOOD!!!! clara is great!!!! #anyway. thats my clara thoughts. actually i have more about ehy the moon abortion episode (bad) was ooc for the doctor but! very good #character moment for clara in reacting to what he put her through and how that’s foundational to how she’s rebuilding herself in his image. #but ill leave off here. #clara oswald #dw lb #ask

[bishiglomper]

I need to rant

But omfg. The niece. The niece is going to finally drive us off the deep end.

She wants to keep the baby if it belongs to current, 3 week old boyfriend.

He's got priors, went to jail for something drug related I think. And he's on the registry. Which we dont even get to know the situation because niece refuses to ask.

Now so far as a person, I dont have any bad feelings about him. He's nice and polite, he can function, he can read, unlike her fiance.. He says he can cook. Has expressed sentiments like getting niece new shoes because hers are falling apart. No sign of anger issues yet like the last 2. I think she said hes got like 2 kids out there

And i dont know what color flag this is, but he once told the niece he chopped off his beloved hair to see her reaction. He wanted her to blow up but she was just like "its your body." Then she reiterated that she expected the same respect. Like if she got a piercing he may disagree with. Shes still gonna do it.

Who knows where pregnancy stands on that line.

Oh and by the way, she still hasnt even said "i love you" back yet. But she'll have his child??

But this bitch is in no fucking means ready for a child.

She's a good caretaker, I would trust her to babysit for a few hours just fine but thats it.

For one, she neglected her rats to death.

She told me with no shame that she absolutely doesnt touch a litterbox, and that she starved her cat.

The woman doesnt even take care of herself. She barely eats and she keeps losing weight. Shes like 5"2 and in childrens jeans. And even though she kept passing out and was told ahe has super low B12, she refused too take suppliments. Even if i handed them directly to her.

If that keeps up shes just going to end up having a miscarriage or a premie with medical problems.

And i dont know what smoking weed during pregnancy does. But its worth looking into.

She does have her own apartment, but does she stay there? No. Only when she has someone over to do things together.

My sister and her son already sleep on the floor in the living room. Niece sleeps on the chaise

You think we have room to help raise a baby, even if we wanted to? Hell to the fuckin no.

Speaking if which. I can already see the dynamic that will be

She'll want us to watch the baby while she continues to work at applebees, where she'll be stuck forever now instead of getting back to college eventually. But she'll have strong weird opinions on how shes going to raise her child.

i just know shes going to be like her bff and teach her toddler to say "mommys a bitch!"

Because i was thinking if there were a smaller child around we could probably get nephew to cut it out. But nah, she would encourage it because its funny.

By the way, we're hiding this from the nephew. It was almost ww3. Sissy doesnt want him to know. And niece is offended because its her brother, he can understsnd the concept of abortion and ahw doesnt like to keep things from him.

Also not telling the aunt. Niece doesn't give a fuck and may do so out of spite

We still havent recovered that relationship enough to have dinner together. And aunt said something like "since (mom) isn't saving your souls, I'm going to have to do it"

So if she finds out, its just going to get really, really annoying. And drive more wedge between us all.

Niece asked her mom if she was gonna be mad at her if she kept it. Sissy told me she was mad either way. There will be no winning.

My mother and sister are being way super gentle and calm about it all to her. She does not deserve it. She needs to sit there like an adult and listen to our concerns before she makes a decision just because it's current boyfriend's DNA in there. She never wanted her own children. And if she wants to suddenly play adult, she needs to make some adult fucking decisions.

#rant #teenage pregnancy #family drama

[the--lysine-contingency]

At work I was scrolling tumblr and ended up reading through some of my really old posts on here, specifically the ones from when I was graduating high school and starting college.

Alot of the posts were pretty cringe inducing, but the ones that really made me sad were the ones where I was so obviously trying to act like I loved college while also trying to communicate how miserable I was. I didn't want to be the loser that couldn't make any friends, couldn't do well in classes, couldn't get a boyfriend (still in gay denial at that point), couldn't grow up.

I was terrified of becoming that person, and all I could see was all of my friends relishing in their new adventure while I sat alone in my dorm and wrote post after post about how much i missed them. Additionally, my best friend at the time (and roommate and later toxic crush, but thats a different story) was doing everything in her power to remind me just how much i was falling behind and how everything i valued was childish (despite the fact i was essentially taking care of her while she made bad decision after bad decision). I did at one point think I had found some really nice friends that really cared about me and was finally enjoying myself, but it turns out 'love bombing' is a really common campus group recruitment tactic, and when I decided I didn't want to be active in their super religious club any more and just wanted to hang out, they completely disappeared. Senior year sure was fun. But honestly that interaction really solidified in me the notion that the friends I have are so special. At the same time though, it probably is why im so reluctant to really try and make new friends because anyone else will just dissappear.

Normally I can remember that time in my life and just brush it off and be happy I'm not there anymore, but today it really hit me that all of those things I was so afraid of, they fucking happened.

I was so afraid I wouldn't make any new friends in college. and I didn't.

I was so afraid that I wouldn't do well in school and I wouldn't get into grad school. and I didn't.

I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to get a job or move out on my own. and I didn't.

it's been over ten years. and i haven't really moved forward at all. I'm still on tumblr crying to literally no one while my friends live real lives.

#im on my bullshit again

[maddiwrites]

Breathe With Me

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: After finding out who hurt you on that horrific night, JJ helps you through another panic attack and makes plans to protect his girl.

Note: This was requested a long time ago after a chapter of my rewrite was posted! Instead of doing JJ x OC, like requested, I changed it to JJ x Reader so that people who don’t read my rewrite can enjoy it too. Hopefully this is okay with ya’ll. 

Word Count: 3.5k

WARNINGS: Sexual Assault!!! This chapter has descriptions of sexual assault. Please do not read if this is TRIGGERING!!!! 

National Sexual Assault Hotline: [phone]

Masterlist

It was another regular day on the island. Hot and crowded with tourists. With everyone working, you decided to tag along with JJ and Pope to delivery groceries for Heyward’s business. Usually this meant going to Figure Eight, your least favorite place to be. Normally it didn’t creep you out too much, but because of a rather recent incident, you didn’t like being there.

Right after your dad went missing, you spent a lot of time with Kie as she lived out her Kook Year. Avoiding the Pogues and John B and surrounding yourself with stuck up assholes and their expensive drugs and alcohol helped you forget about your own family crisis. You would do anything to take your mind off your dad’s disappearance even if it meant getting high on whatever was offered to you. You didn’t ask twice about what it was. You figured if the rich people we’re doing it, it couldn’t be that bad right?

One night you did a long line surrounded by Rafe and a couple of his buddies. Pretty much everything after that was a blur. Your memories are fuzzy, like a puzzle piece you can’t piece together. The last thing you remember is your black hitting something soft, like a mattress or a pillow. You thought you heard the zipper of your shorts being pulled down but figured it was Kie helping you change into a pair of pajamas. 

The next morning you woke up practically naked with a blanket covering your bottom half and your bra pulled down to your stomach. You began to panic and ran your hands down your side, flinching at the tenderness by your hips. The skin was yellow/green and getting ready to bruise. Your breathing became shallow and your throat tightened up. You fumbled around the room you didn’t recognize for your clothes and slid them on, not caring what was backwards or inside out. You stumbled out the door and tip toed down the long staircase of the large house you were in. Figure Eight, you thought. 

You didn’t go home first. You went to Kie’s house. Because your body ached. Because you wanted to cry but didn’t want John B or the other boys to hear you. Because you were afraid to be naked around anyone but another girl. The second she opened the door, you sobbed into her arms and told her what you think happened to you. Kie tried to get you to go to the police or even the hospital, but you couldn’t fathom the idea of anyone knowing about what happened. Not even a stranger. Because you were embarrassed. You blamed yourself for this happening to you. You were high as fuck, trying to forget about your family troubles. You were the one to make yourself weak and vulnerable. No one else. Someone just took advantage of the position you put yourself in.

Kie didn’t pressure you. She wanted to support you in whatever decision you made, despite wanting justice for you and sending whoever the sleaze bag was to jail. She sat on the toilet and talked to you as you showered slowly. You spent most of the time staring at the wall and feeling ever inch of your body. You felt so dirty and no amount of soap or scrubbing could make you feel any cleaner. 

You stayed at her house for a couple of days until John B eventually texted her because he was worried. You both decided it was time for you to go home, but you never told them what happened. You were afraid of what John B and even JJ would do if they found out. And the last thing you wanted was for either of them to get hurt or in trouble.

John B didn’t notice something was off as much as JJ did. He could tell you were being more quiet and reserved than usual. Your usual style of crop tops and jean shorts changed to sweats and baggy t shirts. You slept with your door locked and didn’t touch a single can of beer since you came home.

Moving on from that night was a slow and gruesome process, one you don’t know if you’ll ever fully recover form. Luckily for you, JJ was a great distracter. He was an amazing story teller, he could make you laugh with a small hand gesture, and his laugh could draw you in for hours. No one was surprised when the two of you eventually started dating. Not even John B, who was a little apprehensive about it at first. 

To JJ, everything came to light when another make out session became heated. Like that morning, it became hard to breathe and your mind wandered off to what could have happened to you that night. In a blink of an eye, you were back in Figure Eight with someone pulling your zipper down. You could physically feel the bruises on your hips again and your skin burning. 

A panic attack emerged and JJ was left confused and lost. Fortunately for you, he was quick to realize something was seriously wrong and helped you through it. He breathed with you and talked you down. When you were calm, you explained what happened. At first he was pissed. Pissed at whoever could have done this to you and even a little bit at you and Kie for keeping this from him. He was ready to charge out of the house, grab John B, and find the sick son of a bitch who would touch an unconscious girl. But your cries stopped him. He’s never heard pain in your voice like he did that night. It physically cracked his heart into a million little pieces and he dropped every instinct he had and stayed with you instead. 

Since then, he’s been the most supportive and protective boyfriend. At every boneyard party, he would keep an eye out for any Kook that decided to show their face on your turf. He took note of anyone looking at you in a weird way. He carried the gun he stole from Scooter in his backpack for protection. He was serious about using it too. No one touches his girl and gets away with it.

Luckily, nothing happened between JJ and any Kook. No one made a move to talk to you or tease you. Kooks kept their usual distance from you, which not only made you feel better for yourself but because you didn’t want something to happen to JJ. You know the rules of the game of this island. Nothing bad ever happens to Kooks. They don’t know consequences. 

When Pope docks his boat, he asks if you would come with him to drop groceries off at the Thorntons. If he did it alone, it would cause two trips and he doesn’t want to waste time. 

As you go to agree, JJ steps in and shakes his head as he looks between you two. “I don’t think thats a good idea.”

“Why not?” Pope asks, completely clueless.

You subtly shake your head, silently begging for JJ not to say anything. Pope and John B still didn’t know and you want to keep it that way. Sure you would feel safer with JJ by your side, but you won’t be alone. You will be with Pope. And who would try to start something in the middle of the day anyway?

“It’s fine, J,” You tell him. You even try to joke. “I’m sure you’ll survive one hour without me.”

When you kiss his cheek, JJ turns to look at you with his brows pinched together with worry. “Y/N...”

“Seriously, J...” You say. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” You whisper that last part as Pope turns to get the bags. 

“You have your phone?”

You nod and pull it out of your pocket to show him. “Yes. I’ll call you if anything happens.”

As JJ walks in the opposite direction of you and Pope, you feel the tension in your shoulders get tighter. The sight of these homes gives you flashbacks. The worst part about all of this is you don’t even know who hurt you. It could’ve been anyone - a touron even. It would be easier to know who did it so you know who to avoid. 

Pope notices your change in behavior but doesn’t mention it. Instead he keeps a silent eye on you and studies your every movement. 

As you pass the golf course, you hear a couple cat calls and cheering from a group of teenagers. When you look up, you see Rafe, Topper, and one of their friends making their way over to you. You take a step behind Pope, hiding behind his body and keeping your eyes trained down on your shoes. 

“What do we have here?” Rafe whistles as he comes closer. He looks down at the bags in your arms and the beer in Pope’s hand. “Bring us something?”

“These are already paid for,” Pope glares at them.

“Oh, right, right,” Rafe nods as if he understands. Then he takes is golf club and swings it at the brown paper bag in Pope’s arms, causing everything to spill out of it. 

“Dude!” 

“Sorry, man!” Rafe holds his hands up in fake surrender. He leans down to pick up a beer bottle and tosses it to his tall friend. “Trevor, you feeling thirsty?”

The guy, better known as Trevor, cracks the beer open and takes a long sip. When he looks down, he spots you and eyes your figure up and down. Then he smirks to himself and a shiver runs down your spine. You don’t like the way he’s looking at you. Like a piece of meat or someone he knows too much of. 

Rafe catches his eye and smirks to himself. “Ah, yeah. I forgot. You and Routledge have some history.”

Pope looks over his shoulder at you and sees your chest rising and dropping at a quicker pace. You’re gripping the bags in your hands so tight that he can see your knuckles turning white. You look away from the group of Kooks at the golf course with a frown on your face. Something was wrong, Pope thought. 

“Yeah, you could say that,” Trevor chuckles. He looks at you again and tilts his head. “What? You don’t remember me?”

“Pope...” You feel like you’re choking. How could he know you when you have no idea who he is? You don’t like where this is going.

Trevor continues, “Can’t say I blame you. You were out of your mind wasted that night -”

“What the hell is he talking about?” Pope says, looking between you and Trevor. He wasn’t one to get confrontational or angry, but he didn’t like what he was hearing. He didn’t like how you were acting. Something wasn't adding up. He knew you’ve hooked up with Kooks before, but this one was different. 

“Almost as dead as her daddy,” Rafe chuckles. Something in Pope snaps and he pushes Rafe back by his shoulders. In retaliation, Rafe raises his golf club and smacks it against the middle of Pope’s back, causing him to fall down with a thump. 

“Pope!” You cry and drop the bags you were holding and kneel next to him. 

“Hey,” Trevor touches your shoulder to try and pull you away from the two fighting boys, but you flinch away from him. 

“Don’t touch me! Get away from me!” You cry.

Trevor immediately holds up his hands in surrender and takes a step back. Your outburst causes everyone to freeze in their movements, even Rafe and Pope. The wheels in Topper’s head start to move a little quicker too. He looks between you and Trevor and feels off about your connection. You looked terrified. And Y/N Routledge was almost never terrified. 

Even though you are outside, you feel claustrophobic. Your heart is beating so heavily against your ribcage that you wouldn’t be surprised if it were to break your ribs. Pope notices you’re two shades paler and having a hard time breathing. Tears are silently falling down your face and you continue to crawl away form the group of Kooks backwards. 

“Y/N...” Pope says quietly.

“We should go,” Topper says. He never hated you like some of the other Kooks did. Sure you never got along, but a small part of him thought you were cool. He knew something was extremely wrong and he couldn’t help but think it had to do with their friend, Trevor. He looks at Rafe who continues to stare at you with surprise. “Dude.”

“Yeah...” Rafe says slowly. “Trev, let’s go.”

The three Kooks scatter back to the golf course. You squeeze your eyes tightly and grip the fabric of your shirt, pulling it away from your body because right now it just feels suffocating. 

“Hey.” Pope crouches down near you and lightly touches your shoulder. His touch feels like an electric shock, making you flinch even further away. When you open your eyes, you’re back in some random Kook’s house on a mattress you’re unfamiliar with. “They’re gone. Hey, they’re gone.” Pope tries to be gentle with you, but he also wants to get you out of here and in a more comfortable setting. 

“JJ,” You manage to say. Your throat feels on fire. “I need J-”

Pope immediately starts fumbling for his cell phone and dials his best friend’s number. He bounces on the balls of his feet as he impatiently listens to the ringing. “Come on. Come on.”

JJ answers. “Hey! Sorry I’m on my way back now. You’ll never believe how much this lady tipped me. I swear I’m coming on every -”

“JJ, shut up and listen to me. Y/N...” He glances back at you and sees you’re hunched over with your forehead resting on your knees and your fingers through your hair. “She’s having a panic attack or something. I - I don’t -”

“Where are you?” JJ’s once elated tone has dropped to a more serious one. 

Pope tries explaining what part of the golf course they are near. 

“Okay. I’ll be there in five minutes. Pope, get her under some shade or something. And if you can, try to get her to look at you. She needs to open her eyes to see where she is.” Pope nods, forgetting that JJ can’t see him. “Pope!”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Okay, doing that now.”

JJ hangs up the phone so he can run faster. 

Meanwhile, Pope crouches down in front of you again and says, “Y/N/N, hey. Can you open your eyes?” Pope lightly taps your ankles. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.” You slowly blink your eyes open and sniffle back the tears. Pope smiles when he sees he’s made some sort of progress. “Hey. JJ’s on his way. Why don’t we move you under some shade? It’s getting pretty hot out here. Can I help you up?”

You nod and let Pope help you up and bring you a couple feet away under a large tree. Your back rests against the bark and you try taking deep breaths to calm the swirling nausea in your stomach. 

It was Trevor. It had to be Trevor. From the way he looked at you, to the innuendo Rafe made. You knew in your heart that it was Trevor who had hurt you that night. 

A part of you always wanted to know who did this, but another part of you wished you never figured it out. Because now his face will haunt you forever.

About a minute later, you hear another set of footsteps quickly coming your way. You panic, your immediate thought going to Trevor. Would he come back? 

But then you hear your boyfriend’s beautiful voice. “Hey.” His tone is soft and gentle. “Hey, baby. Look at me. It’s JJ.” You open your eyes and meet the lovely blue one’s you fell in love with. He grins at you and takes your hands in his. 

“I’m so - sorry,” You sob, suddenly hating yourself for bringing this back up to your boyfriend and ruining Pope’s work routine. “I - I -”

“Hey,” JJ says and pulls your hands to his chest, palms down. “Remember what we did last time? Match my breathing, okay? Ready? Take a deep breath.”

Pope watches with awe silently from the sidelines. He’s never seen this side of either one of you. You so panic stricken and scared, JJ so intent with concern and intuitive. 

You follow JJ’s breathing until you feel calm enough to breathe on your own. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” JJ shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

You look down at your hands that are folded in your lap. You want to tell him. Of course you want to tell him. But you’re afraid of what happens next. You’re afraid of how JJ will respond.

“Rafe, Topper, and their friend Trevor jumped us,” Pope answers for you. Like JJ, he’s also curious about what happened. Of course he was there for the physical breakdown, but he wants to know more about what you’re going through emotionally. 

“Did they hurt you?” JJ looks back at you and inspects every inch of your open skin for signs of scratches or bruises. 

You shake your head. “No.”

“Then...”

“I know who it was,” You say, your voice as soft as a whisper. 

“What? You mean. -” JJ’s head snaps back and forth between you and Pope. “Who?”

You dip your chin into your chest to hide your tears as they start to flow again. You take a deep breath and look back up at your boyfriend. “Trevor.”

“Who the fuck is Trevor?” JJ looks at Pope. 

Pope shrugs, “I don’t know. He was golfing with the other two Kooks.”

“Where’d they go?” JJ stands up, causing both you and Pope to follow him.

“No, JJ -” You try to pull him back to you but he slips his wrist out of your grip. 

“JJ!” Pope calls out to JJ who walks in the direction the other three disappeared to. 

“JJ, stop!” Your voice cracks which makes JJ turn around to look at you. “Please. I just want to go home.”

JJ freezes and bites down on his bottom lip, feeling conflicted. His head is telling him to run after the Kooks and beat every single one of their faces in until he finds the one named Trevor. But his heart is telling him to walk back to you and take care of you. 

“Okay,” he decides and wraps his arm around your waist. “Let’s get you home.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After you fall asleep later that night, JJ tip toes out of your room and silently shuts your door behind him. You passed out early, exhausted from the panic attacks and crying. In the living room, Pope, Kie, and John B are waiting. You had no other choice but to tell John B what happened. Now that Pope knew, it felt wrong keeping it from your brother as well. Of course it caused an argument, but in the end, John B only wants the best for you and to protect you. Which is why they’re here now.

“Ready to go?” JJ looks directly at your brother.

John B holds up his car keys. “Let’s go.”

“Whoa, where do you think you’re going?” Kie grabs John B by the elbow and glares at both of them.

“Where do you think?” JJ says.

When Pope and Kie stepped out of the room to check on you, JJ and John B both secretly decided that when you fell asleep, the two of them would sneak out and find this Trevor person and give him what he deserves. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Pope says, looking between the two. “You know how this works. The two of you end up getting in trouble and he gets to walk away clean.”

“I don’t care. I’ll kill him -”

“You can’t,” Kie says.

“I’m not asking for your permission, Kie!”

“Where’s the gun?” Kie says. “If you’re going to do this, I’m not letting you bring the gun. Leave it here.”

JJ looks up at John B who reluctantly nods his head for JJ to give it up. The blonde sighs and reaches into the back of his waistband and pulls it out.

“This is a bad idea,” Pope says again even though he knows the other two don’t give a shit. In a way, he kind of respects it. He would go to if he didn’t have a scholarship to worry about.

“Keep an eye on her. We’ll be back in a couple hours,” John B says.

“You better hope you are. Because if you’re not, you’re only going to be making this worse for her,” Kie tells them.

Kie’s words have both John B and JJ rethinking their decision. But only for a split second. 

JJ nods. “Don’t worry. I’d never leave my girl behind.”

#jj maybank #jj x reader #jj fic #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagines #jj maybank x reader #jj #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank imagine #outer banks imagine #outer banks fic #obx fic #obx imagine

[woogyu]

Funny Drabble Game

Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny (when requesting PLEASE add which prompt list it is from)

Can have up to 3 prompts per request + can send multiple requests.

They will all be written for fem reader. I’m very sorry about this, it is just because of what I know/have experience in writing.

Please format requests as follows; funny member prompt # or #s.

ex. funny member #12 + #15

ex. funny florist!member x student!reader #14

Send your requests/asks: here

~ prompts under the cut ~

crossed out = don’t request, usually for when I’ve gotten tired of a specific prompt coming up too often or I don’t like it

Drabble Prompts [credit; https://justforshitsandcackles.tumblr.com ]

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.” “If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?” “Because we’re attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but…no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.” “Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?” “Yeah. let me grab my machete.” “We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.” “I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?” “Tying my shoe.” “You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit…i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.” “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.” “well i mean-” “whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen drabbles #seventeen drabble game #seventeen funny #seventeen fanfic #seventeen #svt #seventeen requests

[thewebcomicsreview]

Oh shit, Homestuck 2 is back! Looks like the art team problems are getting worse, but maybe the writing’s good? Quick, recap of the story so far, since there was a hiatus

Previously, on Homestuck 2:  DIRK: I’m evil now and we’re on a new planet where we shall create our own lifeforms and rule them as gods ROSE: I’m making memes and vaginas DIRK: NOOOOO ROSE: Jade got me preganté and we named our kid Yiffy and I kept it a secret from everyone this whole time, including my wife but inexplicably not the dictator I’ve trying to overthrow, who kidnapped her JOHN: NOOOOO CALLIOPE: I’m in ur bod drinking ur juice JADE: NOOOOO CALLIOPE: Oh, like you’re not used to having weird people inside you, skank JADE: Wow, rude, I’m kicking you out of my brain for that  CALLIOPE: NOOOOO JOHN: Man, I love how my son tells me everything and keeps no secrets  KARKAT: John! Vriska’s alive and she murdered the clown pope and your son is hiding her because he and his friends are wanted for treason  JOHN: ...... KARKAT: You’re supposed to say “NOOOOO” John: Why would I? That fucking rules!  We now return to Homestuck 2

Yay, we’re finally seeing Davebot, Aradia, and Calliope. Fun fact: In a comic with like ten billion retcons and timeline splits, this Aradia is still the definitive “real” Aradia in a way no other character can claim to be (except Sollux), which is a fun endgame for a character who was introduced has having hundreds of thousands of duplicates.  I can not wait to see how the HS2 writers ruin her. (Also, where did they get a rocket ship?)

Also it it me, or is there something a little off about this art?

DAVEBOT: beep boop ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute ARADIA: david DAVEBOT: mom

“David”? 

This is the first indication in the entire series that any of these kids’ names are short for anything, something Hussie explicitly said wasn’t the case but which was never actually addressed in the comic proper so I guess it’s not a plot hole. Still, it feels a little....wrong? 

ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...

Wait, what?! Aradia is Ultimate, too? When did that happen?! Why does she not need a robot body? 

DAVEBOT: time DAVEBOT: say time ARADIA: ... DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face

There’s a fine line between “callback” and straight up recycling a joke. 

ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind DAVEBOT: are you ARADIA: am i hung up about leaving your wife and friends behind ARADIA: i do not think that i am no DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend ARADIA: what ARADIA: oh fuck

I do like the implication here that Aradia flat forgot about Sollux. Poor dude can’t catch a break. .

Ooh, an [S]. An extremely basic one, but still. Also, from this scene in the epilogues:

The distant sounds of war travel above the canopy of a forest. The artillery fire fades to a series of muted knocks and thuds as the sound waves cross beyond a thinning patch of the forest and arrive in a clearing of grass and shrubbery. Above, the sky is dramatic, colorful, menacing. The way it looks when a storm is coming. The clouds are wild, whipped into a sort of spatial frenzy, as if they know what’s imminent is no earthly phenomena. Aradia stands in the field, her mouth gaping wide. But not at the sky.

Probably the starkest example of how the epilogues presented Earth C has falling about and doomed and stormy and scary like the system crash in Reboot and Homestuck 2 has it all sunny and bright. I kind of wish HS2 kept the semi-apocalyptic feel of the epilogues, even if it made Aradia’s spurious decision to leave Sollux behind way more dickish. 

Oh hey, God’s back, and back in the body of the OG pre-Retcon Jade Harley. There’s something very Shoujo about this posing.

DAVEBOT: thanks JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange. DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are DAVEBOT: especially while DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them

I think Calliope, and possibly Aradia, is shipping Dave/Aradia right now, which is a pairing that has some comedic appeal were it not for Dave’s gayness.

ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery

We just established that this is months after they left Candyland. Has Jade’s body been covered in the blood and guts of Lord English this entire time? Take a goddamn shower, Jesus. 

Oh, there we go. Much better. Also, the one thing I heard about this upd8 was all the discussion of jorts, and then Dave references jorts, but no one is actually wearing them, unless Aradia’s got a pair on under her cultist robes? (Also, is Calliope’s Jade body healed from the shard of reality that killed it originally, or is there just a huge hole under her shirt)?

JADE: As a point of curiosity- ARADIA: oh shit!!!!

The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption. Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.

ARADIA: :(

Given how much time was spent on how Terezi can sense Dirk’s narration, I like how Calliope’s narration is literally just her talking out loud and everyone can clearly hear it and just assumes it’s like a troll quirk.

ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay ARADIA: only lay dormant DAVEBOT: no thats boring DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive JADE: yes, that one.

One of the things I don’t fully get about Calliope is why there’s stuff like this she doesn’t know. Another thing I don’t get: How come John and Jake are visibly middle-aged? They’re gods, too. 

ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all JADE: these events are not-canonical. ARADIA: rude

I believe this is a reference to Pesterquest?

DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write ARADIA: :( JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all. DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen

What the fuck is David even talking about? What? 

DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means. ARADIA: neither do i :)

I like the “Best Narrator” mug, and with this sudden headache to interrupt the laughter comes the end of the chapter and presumably a lead in to the next one when we’ll learn what’s blowing Calliope’s mind 

#Homestuck #Homestuck 2 #Homestuck 2 Liveblog

[sammansonn]

my thoughts on the 100 7x14

yes i’m a day late because i’ve been putting off watching the 100 for the last 24 hours because fuck jroth and my life feels a bit broken ya know?

okay so honestly if last week’s episode hadn’t of happened i would’ve liked a lot of parts in this episode, which honesty pisses me off more

i liked the fact that they were back on earth, its been like 200 years which is strange to think about

i liked all the small convos between people they were honestly kinda sweet

my fave was indra and octavia because those two hadn’t talked in so long and they’re so deeply connected to one another i needed them to talk again (also i always love a lincoln reference because fucking jroth said “lets kill him too”)

also like that indra finally apologized to gaia because honestly she’s kinda a shitty mom at times and gaia deserves better

i said this in another post but i’m not surprised that clarke smashed the helmet because this clarke isn’t Our clarke, our clarke wouldn’t have killed bellamy and she never would’ve hid out on earth and letting all those on sanctum suffer, but this clarke that jroth randomly created last week is that selfish i guess (okay but also i Do understand why she did it like i’m not saying i Hate clarke now i still love this clarke but its just complicated i don’t know fuck jroth)

the scene where clarke told everyone she killed bell honestly fucking Hurted, and as everyone else has said in what world would they all be okay with her killing bell But i also understand why they understood (and also am just glad we’re not having another “everyone hates clarke” things)

first off All of them knew how much clarke loved bellamy, and i guess they know that even if they hate her she hates herself more 

also in octavia’s case, after basically parenting hope for 10 years she not only understood bell needing to take care of her but she understands clarke’s protectiveness over madi and again, octavia Knows that clarke loved bell and honestly i liked seeing them hug

but again, she would Never kill bellamy, i’m just saying in this stupid au that jroth has suddenly made canon i get why they forgave her

anyway i liked the fight between madi and clarke because obviously clarke done fucked up and madi needed to say it also madi’s a teenager(?) now so she’s in her rebellious phase

Also, i just wanna talk about how not only was clarke killing bellamy disrespectful to fans and honestly just cruel, it was shitty writing

its just a redo of clarke leaving bell in polis (even though she fucking Said she’d never forget he was family again fuck you jroth) and now we’re just back to her making decisions for everyone even though no one asked her to

and here’s the thing, most of the time when clarke makes a decision for everyone there’s usually a good reason Or they basically forced her to make the choice

but in this case, clarke’s reasoning was very much her own even though it greatly impacted the group And there was no need for her to take charge and make a decision like that

ALSO back to poor writing clarke Knew that she didn’t get the sketchbook and she Knew that cadogan could come back to earth so Why would she think they were suddenly safe there??? like not only would clarke never run and hide but she’s also smart enough to know that she was not in a good hiding place At All

i liked drunk niylah, she was a fun time

emori murphy and raven are a power trio as usual

really weird when murphy is smarter and more compassionate than clarke (not saying Murphy isn’t either of those things because he is and he’s been getting so much more hero-like this season but more than clarke??? hello????)

thought the convo with echo and niylah was interesting i liked hearing what both of them said but kinda weird it was to each other because have they even really met? like i’m pretty sure that was their first one on one convo so thats fun

hope and jordan was expected, i mean they both had a very similar childhood and grew up on stories and then had to meet said stories and lost their parents and all that so sure, stick them in a romance, why not (even though echo and hope would’ve been better but jroth is a pussy and isn’t gonna make hope a lesbian like he should have i mentioned fuck jroth)

okay also can we talk about miller for a sec? because he’s literally been with us since the pilot, he is one of the OG 100, and i feel like we barely know him???

like first off he had a whole other boyfriend for the majority of the show (i don’t remeber his name but he was cute) and i don’t think we ever saw/heard of them breaking up? also did we ever see miller and jackson get together because all i remember is that one episode they were just dating and i was like “yeah okay checks out”

also i barely remember his dad giving up his spot like i’m sure they showed it but idk i just feel like he’s a black gay character whose been o the show the same time as clarke, octavia, and bellamy and yet we barely know him, but honestly who’s surprised with jroth thats just how he be

i also knew gabriel died because i saw the spoiler on twitter cuz i just didn’t care and i was sad obviously but honestly the scene was just kinda weird with clarke focusing on madi and also the fact that like only echo and hope and octavia are close to him or really know him? even octavia didn’t hang out with him for that long so idk i feel like not everyone needed to be in that room for the death idk just a weird vibe of that scene and then with madi sneaking out while he was dying idk (he seemed happy to die tho which is nice like i guess he’d lived long enough)

we love madi being like her mom and not wanting anyone to die for her, i feel real bad for clarke because that girl about to have a breakdown but honestly clarke what did you expect you raised this girl she’s a bad bitch and an independent bitch but honestly that was an emotional scene with madi and the knife

also really small thing that pissed me off (goes back to the murphy being better than clarke now) is when they were stuck in that room and murphy is hitting the crowbar against the window and clarke is just standing off to the side like “stop murphy its not gonna break” like ???? what???

that scene made No sense, in what world is someone trying to kill/kidnap madi and clarke is just standing there?? she would be throwing her entire weight against the doors and trying to break off its hinges, remember when bellamy told her they were putting the flame in madi and clarke tried to rip her handcuffs off of a pipe? yall remember that? because jroth sure doesnt

why the fuck did it look like murphy cared More than clarke, like obviously they all care but clarke is her mom ????

this is just another way jroth has also killed our clarke along with bellamy

in conclusion, fuck jroth, also rip gabriel, and fuck jroth

#the 100 #the 100 spoilers #clarke griffin #madi griffin #bellamy blake #octavia blake #indra #gaia #niylah #jordan green #hope diyoza #nathan miller #gabriel #raven reyes #emori #john murphy #echo #echo kom azgeda

[barryjeanblues]

taako meets death (again)

(also posted to my ao3)

taako has met two raven queens in his life before now.

well, close enough, at least. most - though not all - of the worlds the starblaster had traveled to had gods, and surprisingly enough, those gods were usually - though not always - strikingly similar to their homeworlds gods. (this was useful, because one of the crews number relied very heavily on a certain nature god for his magic. luckily, the nature or life god of each world always seemed to have a soft spot for little old merle, even if they werent merles traditional cloven-hoofed pan.)

twice, taako had met the death god - someone equivalent to faeruns raven queen. 

this had led to taakos understandable trepidation upon kravitz finally putting his foot down and insisting taako meet his mother boss. 

the first time taako had met a raven queen, she had been… overwhelming. the light of creation had fallen into a forest dedicated to her and her followers, and the head acolyte refused to give the wandering crew the light unless they first received permission from the queen.

the crew had agreed, with no other option, bracing themselves to firmly explain the direness of the situation. surely a goddess would be intelligent enough to understand. 

that raven queen had burst into a forest cleaning in an explosion of black feathers, half illusion, half steel, so that when lup brushed the smoky feathers from her eyes they blurred and dissipated, but when magnus tried the same thing he yelped and brought his hand back bleeding. 

that raven queens laughter had been eerie and echoing, almost but not quite mocking, almost but not quite infectious, almost but not quite joyous. the crew had stood firm and offered their argument, and the queen had given them tests and tokens and bargains and tricky promises with too many clauses and loopholes and at the end of it all the ipres numbers had been halved and the rest were weary and worn as they caught the light of creation and fled with only minutes to spare, the faelike laughter of death following them terribly even through the overwhelming cacophony of the hungers assault. 

that laughter had trailed after them longer, if only in their heads. taako would be making stir fry, planning outfits, swapping merles shampoo for hair-loss potions, when hed have to sit down suddenly and breathe through the musical trills of the raven queens cruel pleasure. it had seemed to bounce in his head the way a rubber ball might, ricocheting off thoughts and feelings until it rolled under a couch to be forgotten about, till some slight movement sent it rolling and bouncing about once more. 

davenport had died in an illusion, thinking he was saving his crew. poor merle had been choked by his own plants, betrayal writ across hos face. barrys skin had grown sickly purple with poison - ten to one odds arent very good odds. taako doesnt forget easily. he decides the goddess of death can go fuck herself. 

the second raven queen taako had met much later in their journey, and taako had met her alone. 

lup and barry had become liches a few cycles back. it was something taako had still been coming to terms with. 

taako loves lup. this is an immutable fact of any and every universe. taako loves lup and lup loves taako and not death or memory or space can separate them, not for long. but seeing your sister die, and then… go beyond death, to twist herself and latch on to a chance that she may never return except in madness and spite - thats a hard thing to grasp, even when she succeeds. taako had still found himself shivering when his sister forgot she had a body again and grabbed a hot pan off the stove, crying out in pain. taako still woke sweating from nightmares in which his sister and his friend flew apart and reformed as cackling red robed horrors of insanity and cruelty, too far for him to reach. 

until that cycle, though, barry and lups choice had only been an asset. 

but some raven queens do not take kindly to anything they see as a perversion of their domain. 

barely a week into that cycle, taako had awoken from the guilty non-elven pleasure of a nap only to find himself in some cold, hard court, fashioned seemingly of steel and silver and concrete, onyx lining the floor and the only color coming from sparse sapphires sparkled throughout the long echoing hall. 

at the end of it - and taako had known his eyes must have played tricks on him, because at first the being at the end of the hall seemed, while large, not much larger than a giant, but when hed called a nervous greeting his voice had echoed so awfully he knew the hall stretched much farther than hed thought and the goddess at the end of it must have been unimaginably huge. 

her eyes had glinted a flinty sapphire in her carven steel face when she ordered him to defend the existence of his sister and his sisters lover. 

taako had tried. he truly, truly had. but while taako is a being of preservation and caution, full of intelligence and cleverness, he is not one of cold hard logic. perhaps lucretia could have convinced this raven queen, the only of their number who had ever been able to grasp true hard reason… but taako doubts it. he had doubted it then and he doubts it even more these days. 

the point is, taako, for all his love for his family and his brilliant wit and devotion (probably, in fact, because of it) taakos arguments couldnt convince that raven queen. she saw past his genuine belief that lup and barry had made a good decision, and into his fears for her, and the goddess of death had based her own argument on those. she won. taako never had a chance. 

he, lup, and barry had woken up in the next cycle, newly resurrected. taako never stops feeling guilty about it. 

so. yes. 

taako is more than a little nervous about meeting the goddess his boyfriend serves so devotedly. but, and youd be hard pressed to convince him to admit it, taako would do anything for kravitz. and despite it all he does actually want to see what the deal is with his sister and his best friends boss, and his patron gods… friend? lover? girlfriend? taako isnt quite sure what fate and death are to each other, but its definitely something.

kravitz lays a warm hand on taakos shoulder, but taako squares them up. he can do this, for fucks sake - hes died a shitton of times, he can meet death. 

the doors open and taakos breath - the only breath in this realm of the dead - catches in his throat.

taako is a die hard istus fan, and shell always be his goddess. but if taako wasnt a taken elf, hed follow the raven queen, he realizes with a startle.

shes beautiful, yes. shes gorgeous, and taakos always been weak for beauty, but hers isnt the cold hard beauty of gemstones and gold, thinks his nimble fingers snatch up and hoard in his endless pockets. the raven queen is beautiful in a way that taako cant describe as anything other than simple.

he cant pin down any features. she has a kind face, gentle hands, bright eyes, but taako can tell she is a goddess because despite staying still the image of her flicks and shifts in his head. at once she seems to have every kind face hes ever seen, even if he doesnt recognize anyone. her hands reach out to comfort him - no more than comfort - but she stands without moving in front of taako and kravitz. her eyes glitter and sparkle and crinkle up with cheerful laughter, except taako isnt entirely sure she has eyes at all, or maybe she has too many. 

he thinks… he thinks maybe she has wings, or maybe theyre arms, or maybe theyre black fabric, draped around and behind and below and above her, shifting with the last breaths of every mortal in the universe. its darkness but its not scary, taako realizes, its solacing, healing, the way that he feels when dusk passes to night and the sky is huge and warm and the brush of lups hand against his as she says goodbye for the night is a relief and a love. 

hello, taako, death says. its lovely to meet you. 

she means it, taako knows. he can tell, somehow. shes just happy to meet him. nothing more, nothing less. 

'oh,' taako says aloud, and kravitz laughs his quiet sweet dorky laugh, and the raven queen laughs too, and its just that. its just a laugh, and its a nice one.

'oh indeed,' kravitz says. 'taako, did you really think id serve a monster or a cruel master?'

'well,' taako replies hesitantly, 'honestly, homie, i kind of thought you were, and id, like, have to start some quest to slay death itself and rescue you.'

the anthropomorphic personification of death laughs again, a note of delight in her tender voice. i like him, my kravitz, she says, good job.

kravitz does the dead-reaper equivalent of blushing. taako grins a little because its very cute. 

'death is different here,' taako hums. 'its… it wasnt like this anywhere else i went. it was cold, or cruel, or empty. i dunno why its different in your world.'

'then i guess we're the lucky ones, huh?' kravitz asks. taako leans up against him and murmurs an agreement. 'its why i love my job so much, why it means so much to me. its not that im some hardass, i just…'

'yea, cha'boy gets it now,' assures taako. 'still.' he looks at the ever-shifting, ever-stable face of death again. 'you better treat my boy kravitz and my lady istus well, capiche? or we will have issues.'

its a deal, taako, the raven queen says, smiling. 

when taako opens his eyes, hes in his home in the material plane, and kravitz is next to him, and theyre both smiling. 

#this is unedited and also i wrote it at 4am #taako #kravitz #taakitz #the raven queen #taz balance #the adventure zone balance #fanfiction #death tw #trigger warning for death because it is a fic about the goddess of death #and also taako mentions some times that they died before story and song (so they dont count) #m text #fic #text #ask to tag #o shit yea and its lowkey lowkey inspired by gaimans death because i like the idea of a nice death

[hellswolfie]

The Mark of Athena Review

Ok so once again i continue reading “The Heroes of Olympus” and once again i need to vent so Tadaaaaa !!

So before I start, here is a  more general Review : I really REALLY liked this book. Favorite of the serie so far. Also, obviously, SPOILERS !!

THINGS I DIDNT LIKE : 

- The role of Frank : I can maybe forgive that, because with 7 main characters i  understand it’s difficult to give them all an important role in one single book. But I really loved him in “The Son of Neptune” and I really wanted to see more of him, and the most of what we got was him being the Jealous Boyfriend. It was kind of disappointing so I hope it’ll change in the next books. 

- Piper : it costs me a lot to put her there because I really really loved her in “The Lost Hero” but I have to admit I didn’t like one single chapter of hers in “The Mark of Athena”. Or at least not completely. In the first book there was the relationship with her dad, her culture, her dealing with the fact she was an Aphrodite children, the begining of a friendship with Annabeth and Leo... But in this book ? It’s only about Jason. Endlessly. And it’s so tiring and eyeroll worthy, especially when we compare her “issues” over JASON with the others’. And even without that, she was really not a great person in this book and not in the interesting way : she was ready to put the whole World in danger just so Jason wouldnt stay in New Rome, kept Charming Up her friends just for convenience (like srsly i know thats not supposed to be a Big Deal but thats still mind control so yikes), and when it came down to it, no matter what she said about how Leo is like her little brother or Annabeth is her BFF, she only gave a crap about Jason Jason Jason...There was barely a scene of her with the other two. And I find it frustrasting that it didn’t even feel like the plot during her chapters were about her, but more about Jason and her being a support for him, even though they were HER chapters !!

- Jasiper : Well I guess that’s not really a surprise lol. I never liked this pairing and this book didn’t change my mind on that at all. Piper keeps clinging to the three months THAT NEVER HAPPENED (and that apparently weren’t faithful to Jason’s character like srsly is she even really in love with HIM or the idea of him she had in her mind ?) instead of the 8 real months they spent together, thinks it’s a miracle when Jason appologizes (he’s a real catch huh ?) and is so so sure he’ll leave her to go to New Rome which first : wow you really have faith in this relationship huh ? But also second : why is this such a Big Deal ?? Even if he did go to New Rome she could still follow him (she made it pretty clear she’d leave all of her friends in Camp Half Blood to be with him), it’s not like he’s a whole new different person when he’s there !! And my baby Reyna was so hurt by that, like Jason was a reall asshole here, even if he was oblivious and didn’t realize her feelings for him she’s still supposed to be his friend and the first thing he asks after 8 months of disappearing is if he can spend alone time with his gf ? And I found it kind of frustrating that in the end, all the others left on their own to do their own things (yk, to save the fucking world ?) while literaly risking their life and Jasiper just...went on a date. Like seriously ? So yeah. Not a fan. 

- The whole Frank x Leo “rivalery” : Why make another older character be attracted to 13 years old ?? Can you stop that ??? Leo could also be a real ass sometimes, even tho I still love him and Frank well...I already talked about that. This book had enough pissing contests between guys as it is. 

- Percy apparently forgetting all the Hercules stuff  he learned in “The Titan Curse”. I know it might not seem like THAT much of a deal but it was a really important thing for his character ? That he learned how Heroes, especially Hercules, were real assholes too and that he had to learn to not be like them ? That Zoe, his friend who sacrificiced herself to save the world, was treated like shit by this guy but now he was still like “omg this is Hercules I SO want to meet this guy he seems great !!” ???. It was just one sentence but I hated it. 

- The focus on the Romantic relationships. Look I have nothing against romance and ships. I love romantic love in stories !! But I also love friendships and I really wish this book would have given us more of that instead of spending so much time on romantic relationships. I mean it is pretty well illustrated in the end of the book when they all separate : all the groups are romantic pairings. Percabeth, Jiper, and Frazel with Leo who has kind of a crush on Hazel. And as much as I love Frazel and Percabeth, where are the friendships ?? Percy and Jason’s relationship was supposed to be very important in this book so why didn’t we see more of that ?? What about the friendships that were already established like Percy with Frank and Hazel, Leo with Piper and Jason, Piper and Anabeth,...And all the new friendships that could have had more screen time like Annabeth and Frank or something !! So yeah that was disappointing. 

THINGS I LOVED : 

- the River God scene. Ok so yes I kind of lied : I enjoyed this chapter of Piper. Well this scene at least. And only kind off, because it is still a Jasiper moment but anyway. In my last review of “the Son of Neptune”, I mentionned how it always annoyed me that the heroes have a habit of always making the Good Moral Decision, without any hesitation, even if the fate of the world is in the balance. I was like “Give me morally conflicted characters damn it” !! And that’s what I got here. Piper having to lie to the God, taking his horn that was so important to him, even tho he was just a very tragic dude, to save Jason and the World, realizing that even if it is bad and she feels like shit after doing it, she still had to do it...YES !!! THANK YOU !! I LOVED THAT !!!

- The LEO X NICO INTERACTIONS !!!!!! After spending 2 books shipping them (they’d fit so well together i will die on this hill) they finally talked !!! Well once, and about the fact that Percabeth just fell into fucking Tartarus but like !!! TALKING !!!! And the first thing Nico tell him is to reassure him <3 (look I know it won’t be canon but the POTIENTIAL!!!)

- Annabeth’s chapters. I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t like them like we finally got her point of view people !!! And it was awesome !!! I loved seeing her on a quest, the way she thinks and sees the world, how she uses her intelligence,... Like she’s so brave and smart but also so sentimental even tho she’d never admit it (like getting emo about having lost the white hair because it was a connection with Percy ? My baby is so fucking precious). And obviously we already knew that but to actually be in her head ??? It was so fucking good !! And it really succeeded to make me feel so much for her, like she’s just a kid and her mother literaly sent her to her death and she was so scared but she still kept going (only to end up in Tartarus WHYYYYYY) and I’m so proud of her. I love this character so much !!

- Percabeth : The reunion !!!! FINALLY !!!! That’s my first ever OTP right there and they’re so in love !! They’re such a badass power couple and they love eachother so fucking much !! God i missed them X( I loved every Percabeth scenes, they were so adorable and beautiful. I loved how even tho they are differents and are not always in the same page, they still know eachother so well and the communication was just so cheff’s kiss. And omg their lasts scenes together ?? Chills !! Like when Percy almost begged the (kind of?) gods to let him stay just a few more moments with her because he was so scared of never seeing her again almost brought tears to my eyes and then of course their final scene when they fall together into Tartarus, because all that matter is that they’re together...MY HEART !!!

- Percy’s and Leo’s chapters. I put them together because I don’t have much  to say except that I love them so much and that I would literaly lay down my life for this two. Their chapters are always such joy to read, and after one whole book without him, I was really glad to get back with Leo. Probably the funniest chapters too. 

- The Crazy Dolphins scene. This scene was fucking hilarious. Pic comedy ^^

- The crumb of friendhips dynamics we got. So much potential I want to see more !! Like Percy x Jason, Annabeth x Frank (so much Hermione x Neville vibes), Leo x Frank, Hazel x Annabeth, Percy x Frank, Annabeth x Leo (Leo who is so scared of and impressed by her as he should lol),...That’s probably one of the reasons I was so bitter about the romantic relationships getting so much more time, like ALL the friendhships that were so interestings like come on !!

- Percy thinking about LUKE !!! hjfgjehgfjhsegf !!! The fact that he still considers Luke as his fighting teacher, still thinks about his training and his advices !!! Even going as far as thinking he totally understood where he came from for doing all this horrible things !!! That was so awesome !! And such a character development !!! And that makes Percy even more of an interesting character !!! Anyway I loved that ^^

- All the mythological aspect like Rick can be such a genius sometimes with how he uses them, managing to stay faithful to them while sill adapting them to a more modern setting and that works so well !! Well its there in every single one of the PJO series book, but I just wanted to put it out there so here. 

- Hazel story. Look I didn’t like the whole weird kind off “love triangle” thing with Leo and Frank. But I love Hazel and I LOVED knowing more about her and also knowing more about Leo’s ancestor (who was awesome btw). That was such an interesting story, how she discovered that her only friend back then and first love spent his whole life thinking her disappearence was his fault.  And the flackback was so cute too ^^ Also Loved her being so desperate finding her brother because that’s what Nico deserves and that was adorable. I really hope we’ll get to see more of their bond. 

- The end. Such an amazing cliffhanger. I could feel the tension in the scene, I could’t stop reading and then the last chapter were everyone was just so in chock but Nico still believed that Percy would come back out of it alive because he admires him so much. It was SO !!! FUCKING !!! GREAT !!! Amazing way to end this book.

And that’s also how I will end this review ^^ Feel free to comment on it (respectfully) in the comments if you want. 

#percy jackson #PJO #pjo series #heroes of olympus #hoo #mark of athena #MOA #percabeth

[scattered-imagination]

Mistletoe Kisses

@dorky-bird for the BNHANewYearsFanfictionExchange I decided to write your lovely fanfiction and I do hope you like it! <3 <3 <3 

@bnhanewyearsfanfictionexchange

________________________________________________________

Pairing: Hitoshi Shinsou x Denki Kaminari

Hitoshi could feel the grip on his red solo cup tighten a bit as he saw Denki laugh at something another had said. Why did people feel the need to be so close to each other? This wasn’t a fucking commune.

“Keep staring at him like that and you’ll light the guy on fire Shinsou”

Hitoshis grumbled as he took a sip of the punch

“I’m not staring at him...and shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, fucking Bakugo in some closet somehwere Kirishima?”

Kirishima let out a laugh and shook his head. Clearly not deterred by the others words, he stepped closer, taking a drink from his own cup.

“You could just go over there and confess you know?” he offered, making a face at his drink before taking another sip. 

“I’d rather not look like an idiot...and Denki is enjoying that conversation. So i’m not going to ruin it” he mumbled into his cup, his grip not lessening but the sad look on his face increasing

He glared as Kirishima looked at him and then Denki, and then back to him with that weirdly confused expression.

“We are looking at the same thing right? Denki looks bored out of his mind! Go save him!” he said with a roll of the eyes

“Shinsou has been a pussy all night babe, why are you even trying? I shoved him in pikachus direction four times tonight and nothing” Bakugo growled as he joined the group.

And as if summoned by some higher spirit, Sero and Mina joined them as well. Hitoshi groaned into his cup and smacked his head against the rim.

“I tried to lock Denki and him in a closet and that obviously did not work!” Ashido pouted as she tried to poke shinsou in the side.

To which he violently swatted at her with a growl. He was not drunk enough for all of their shenanigans. Why did he join this group of friends and not Deku’s? His gaze followed Denki and smiled at the others giggle.

Ah...thats why

“Oh my god if you make that face again I am going to drag Denki over here myself!” Sero groaned, obviously having seen Hitoshi’s love sick expression.

Snapping out of it, he turned to sneer at the other boy before Ashido put a hand on his shoulder. He took another look at Denki, attentively listening to the stranger talking to him, before turning to Ashido. His eyebrows rose at the serious expression on her face, it wasn’t rare...but definitely an uncommon expression.

“What we are trying to say, oh martyr of romance, is that if you don’t confess to Denki now...we will either tell Denki ourselves or watch him get stolen by someone who does not deserve him” she said, poking the others chest with a good amount of force.

Bakugo chuckled into his drink as Hitoshi basically got scolded by the girl of their group, snarling when Kirishima smacked him over the back of the head.

“Do you know why Denki never gets a date?” Ashido asked

“Cause hes a stuttering mess?” Hitoshi asked into his cup

How did no one else find that completely adorable?

“Because we don’t approve of them. Denki is our friend, and we are not about to let him date someone that doesn’t deserve him ...are you connecting the dots?” she asked

Hitoshi was ...slightly trying to connect the dots, but the stranger was getting closer to Denki.

“Mind explaining?” he asked distractedly

“We don’t approve of others for pikachu so we fucking threaten them,. But we approve of you dumbass, so go get him before we decide to take our fucking decision back!” Bakugo growled

Hitoshi just nodded distractedly to the angry blonde...focusing on another altogether. The stranger was not pressed up against Denki anymore, but he was definitely still in his space. He watched as Denki made a shooing motion at him...and after a few words were exchanged the stranger left with a frown. Shoving the cup into Ashido’s hands, he walked quickly to the others side. When Denki turned and smiled at him...damn he had fallen hard.

“So who was tall dark and handsome there?” Hitoshi asked, trying to come off as disinterested. 

He didn’t succeed

“Well your name is Hitoshi Shinsou, mr. tall Dark and handsome yourself. I don’t know who the drunk idiot was but I sent him away” Denki chuckled.

The blonde crossed his arms and leaned against the door jam, his whole focus now on Hitoshi. How he wished the blondes eyes were always on him. He closed his eyes at that thought...sappy much? He opened his eyes to see Denki giving him a confused smile.

“You okay there Hitoshi?” he chuckled

“Yeah...yeah… just weird drinks. Who the hell thought mushroom schnapps was a good idea?” he groaned

Denki went to talk before the room fell silent, and then their friends started chanting.

“What are they doing?” Hitoshi groaned, sending a glare to their friends 

“I think they’re...chanting? And...mistletoe?” Denki said looking up

“What mistletoe? What on earth is--”

Hitoshi was brought out of his aggravation by the blonde tapping his shoulder. He looked to Denki, and then followed his finger pointed upwards. His eyes widened as he saw a huge sprig...no...more like a huge bouquet of mistletoe above them.

“How the hell?” Hitoshi asked distractedly.

“KISS KISS KISS KISS!” Their friends chanted loudly, and the rest of the room gently joined in.

Hitoshi glared at the others before sighing

“What are we? Five years old and pining--”

He was cut off as he felt Denki grab the collar of his shirt. He turned and suddenly….he was pulled in to meet soft lips. The whole room erupted into applause...but it all sounded muted. Denki...denki was kissing him? When the other pulled back...he was smiling. But...his smile fell the longer he looked at Hitoshis blank face. The blank face that was meant for shock and surprise...nothing else. But Denki must have saw something else, because he got that sad look in his eyes and pulled back.

“Um...sorry about that...I just...I’ve always wanted to kiss you...I should have asked first though”

Denki wanted to kiss him? Hitoshi blinked before looking closer at Denki, and frowning at the other. He looked sad and self-conscious. 

“We can just forget it happened if you want and--”

“I’d rather not”

Denki blinked at the statement before he felt himself pressed against the wall and the others lips covering his own. He blinked in surprise before his eyes fluttered shut and he pressed back against the others touch. Hitoshi wrapped his arm around the blonde, holding him tight and possessively. The other hand coming to gently hold his head in place. Denki gently kissed back, shivering when Hitoshi hummed in pleasure. The other kissed the blonde a little more fervently...like this would disappear if he softened or pulled away. Denki groaned softly into the others mouth, his arms going around the others neck. It felt so nice...so-

“GET THAT BOIS! WHOOHOO!”

Mina’s loud shout brought them out of their lovely stupor, making them separate...just a bit. They looked, and immediately felt embarrassment fill them at how loud and extra their friends were being. Denki flushed a deep red before he felt a hand intertwined with his own. He barely looked to the other before he was being pulled away from the crowd and towards a bedroom. He stuttered and flushed, though he was happy that they were getting further and further from the cheers. Hitoshi gritted his teeth and pulled them into a guest room of the house, closed the door and locked it twice, before turning to Denki with a smirk. Though the closer Denki looked...the more unsure it seemed

“I….Ugh” Hitoshi groaned “I didn’t kiss you because of the mistletoe...I hope you know” he murmured a bit shyly

Denki blinked before smiling softly, he walked closer to the other

“I kind of guessed after you pushed me against the wall” he chuckled, though he didn’t touch the other...their standing as of now? Unsure...were they friends still? Friends with benefits? Boyfriends?

Hitoshi could see the gears turning in the others head. He chuckled and a soft smile crawled onto his lips. He pressed himself closer to Denki, wrapping his arms around the others waist...and taking a deep breathe.

“...go out with me?” he asked, trying to sound confident.

Denki blinked before a smile spread across his lips

“Of course.” he chuckled before raising an amused brow “I don’t kiss and run”

Hitoshi blinked before chuckling, he leaned down against the other, foreheads touching, sharing the same breathe.

“Good...good” he managed, so overwhelmingly happy.

Denki chuckled before reaching up to cup the others face in his hands.

“though...I do want another taste” the blonde teased with red cheeks

Hitoshi blinked before smirking, pulling the other flush against him. His lips barely touching the others.

“We got time to fix that”

#Kamishin #denki #shinsou hitoshi #denki kaminari #bnha #BNHANewYearsFanfictionExchange #mistletoe #kisses #bakusquad #fanfiction

[aaronhart93-archive]

text || alison & aaron

Discord thread featuring: Aaron and & @alison-haynes

When: August 26th, 2020

Mentions: @romanbeckett @luca-regio

Description: Alison tells Aaron she is uncomfortable with Des being around Roman while they are broken up. Lots of fighting in circles. Then later, after Alison tells Roman that she want Roman to back off, Aaron tests Alison and goes off.

TW: arguing

Aaron.

hey ali

you can bring Des here on Friday? Visiting hours start at 4

Alison.

okay! Luca and I are taking her out to celebrate for most of the day, but we will have an early dinner and then I will bring her by.

Aaron.

okay...Ro wants to come to see me too.

Alison.

have you asked him to come see you?

Aaron.

yes

why don’t you all come Friday

and Ali. He really wants to see Des

he came home from London early to see her.

Alison.

Friday? I mean, Friday is Des birthday. I feel like Friday should be about you and Des, not you and Roman.

Aaron.

can you let her stay over at his sometime soon

someone needs to being Des up here...

Alison.

Hes taking her on Wednesday after school

I’m going to bring Des there.

Aaron.

and Ro wants to spend her birthday with her as well

okay. Is she stay over? He’d like that

Alison.

he’ll be at her party on Sunday

Aaron.

he will.

Alison.

and he’ll be there earlier than other people, so he can celebrate her birthday with her then.

Aaron.

so you want him to drive up by himself on Friday? Because he’s coming.

why can’t I see all three of my favorite people on my daughter’s birthday

Alison.

She is going for a few hours on Wednesday and I’ll pick her up afterwards. She’s not staying over.

listen to yourself Aaron. It’s your daughters birthday, not yours.

make it about her, not about your relationship.

Aaron.

what the fuck?

this is about my daughter’s birthday

I want to see her, you and Roman on her birthday bc that’s my family

this has nothing to do with my relationship

I don’t get why this is an issue

I’m the one in rehab

Alison.

I just don’t understand why Roman can’t come see you another day.

Aaron.

he can...but he wants to see Des on her birthday too. With me.

why does luca get to spend time with her on her birthday but Roman doesn’t?

Alison.

Because it’s different, Aaron.

Aaron.

it’s not?

Alison.

Luca & I are in a relationship. You and Roman broke up.

Aaron.

were getting back together when I get home

we already talked about it

we’re pretty much dating now

he’s my boyfriend.

Alison.

since when?

Aaron.

before I left. We talked the day you came over.

Alison.

why didn’t you tell me?

Aaron.

I dont know. I’m sorry.

I’m upset the whole thing happened in the first place I guess

Alison.

But it did happen. And this isn’t the first time the two of you have broken up, Aaron. That is what concerns me.

Aaron.

and you’re not having any problems with Luca?

cmon. Breaks can be healthy. This one is.

Alison.

Luca and I haven’t broken up. Problems or not. But I don’t know why my relationship is being brought up.

I don’t know about it, Aaron. You didn’t see yourself that day I came over. Didn’t look like a good break.

and how much of a break is it if you guys have been back together since before you left?

and if he visits? Not much of a break.

Aaron.

he’s in London. Taking time to see his parents. I’m getting myself together. It’s time apart. It can be a good thing. Just because you’re still in a relationship doesn’t diminish any problems. Lots of unhappy couples stay together and it can be more toxic than if they were to break up. You’re relationship is being brought up because I’m not okay with you thinking it’s okay for Luca to see Des on her birthday but not Roman. Listen to yourself.

Alison.

whatever you think you’re doing, fine. but this is why I didn’t want Destiny to be around Roman in the first place. I wanted you two to figure your relationship out before he got close with Destiny. She doesn’t need the on again off again in her life. You can’t say anything about my relationship. Because you don’t know anything about my relationship, Aaron. If you want to know, the only problem within my relationship is YOU. So I’d really appreciate it if you backed the fuck off my relationship.

Aaron.

nothings going to be on and off again for her unless you tell her we broke up.

and don’t blame me for the problems within your relationship.

it’s deeper than that if you think your problems are my fault

Alison.

no I didn’t tell her, but I’m also not going to go around acting like nothing happened. You wanted me to tell our SIX year old that my boyfriend has a past in prison and yet you can’t even be honest with her about your own damn relationship.

Aaron.

yeah...so she doesn’t find out about it from someone else. She deserves to hear that from you.

Alison.

really? Because we’re perfectly fine, happy, excited to be parents, even have talked about marriage. But when you come up, that is when things go to shit, Aaron. So yes, you are the problem within my relationship.

it’s about you being honest with her Aaron.

Aaron.

why do I need to be honest with her but you can lie to her?

you sound like a hypocrite

Alison.

you sound like a hypocrite

you were the one telling me to be honest with her when you can’t be honest with her.

Aaron.

we been knew that. But you think you’re so perfect...you can never be wrong.

Alison.

I didn’t say that Aaron. Don’t put words in my mouth.

Aaron.

you don’t need to say that. You show that in your actions

Alison.

Maybe it isn’t you and Roman who need a break. Maybe it’s you and I who need a break.

Aaron.

Jesus Christ

you cant keep threatening breaks every time we fight

Alison.

I don’t

twice isn’t everytime Aaron

Aaron.

recently it has been

Alison.

and you were just the one who said breaks could be good

Aaron.

if they’re needed

we don’t need it after one fight

Alison. I am in rehab. I need my best friend, my daughter and my boyfriend

yet you are here blaming me for your relationship problems when all I need of your support. Can’t you just suck it up and drive up with Roman and Des and give her to Roman for at least a night for me?  Like damn.

Alison.

you are the one who brought Luca up, I’m not going to not defend my relationship.

I have been nothing but supportive, Aaron. I am trying my best here.

I’m not keeping her from Roman.

I just don’t think she needs to spend a night there.

Aaron.

I don’t feel like you’re trying Alison.

I think she’d want to spend a night with Roman, dont you?

Alison.

well I’m sorry my best isn’t good enough for you.

Aaron.

really ?

Alison.

She is not spending a night there. She needs to get back on a routine for school.

Aaron.

why do you get the final say?

Alison.

because I am her mother, and right now she is in my care while you’re away/

Aaron.

are you serious?

okay so when you’re on tour...you get no say in any decisions for Des.

got it

Alison.

that’s different Aaron

Aaron.

THATS WHAT YOU SAID

why is everything different for you

Alison.

I’m sorry that you think Roman is her FATHER. But he is not. YOU are. I’m sorry that leaving her overnight in his care makes me uncomfortable.

Aaron.

WHY.

Alison.

I could have just said no to him seeing her at all, but I didn’t. And I wouldn’t do that.

Aaron.

that’s no just your call Alison

you’re being stubborn and petty

Alison.

so I should just go along with whatever you want?

Aaron.

how about we have a conversation instead of you just telling me how it is. I’m still uncomfortable with Luca yet didn’t say a thing about him spending the day with her on Friday

Alison.

it’s not that I am uncomfortable with him. I am uncomfortable with her staying the night until you two get your relationship worked out. I won’t want her spending the night for a while.

happy now?

Aaron.

no

not at all

Alison.

Luca lives with us. He would have seen her anyways.

Aaron.

this is fucked up alison. You know you’re just being stubborn

Alison.

I gave in last time Aaron. I wasn’t ready for destiny to be around him, but I let you do what you want because it was what made you happy

I’m always doing what makes YOU happy.

Aaron.

that’s so far from the truth Alison

Alison.

no it isn’t Aaron

Aaron.

I just can’t believe you’re “uncomfortable” with Roman when you call him a friend

Alison.

like I said I’m not uncomfortable with him. I’m uncomfortable letting her spend the night until the two of you figure your stuff out.

Aaron.

it’s figured out

I told you

we’re back together

I’m literally just....in REHAB

Alison.

just because your back together or not doesn’t mean you have it figured it out. Remember? Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t diminish problems.

Aaron.

ooookkaaaayyy so you admit you don’t have your shit figured out with Luca? With your logic, she shouldn’t be around luca either

you’re talking out of your ass

stop being stubborn and admit you were wrong for ONCE

Alison.

I have my shit figured out with Luca, thank you very fucking much.

I’m not going to keep going in circles with you.

Aaron.

alright. So where do we stand.

what if you bring Des up at 4 and Roman brings her back to you the same day.

she won’t be there for long anyway Bc she’ll have to go to bed around 8 and it’s an hour and a half drive

Alison.

So now I don’t get to see you? You know what, whatever Aaron. We will do whatever you want, because that’s how we always do it.

night

Aaron.

what? No? That’s not what I said. Just avoid you two driving up together and to give Ro some time with Des

Alison.

I don’t see why she wouldn’t just come home with me. It’s silly for him to drive her to my house when I can just do it.

August 26th -> after Alison texts Roman (around 10:45pm)

Aaron.

Alison what the fuck

I’m so mad at you right now you have no idea

I’ve never been more angry and disappointed in my life

Alison.

...

read

Aaron.

fuck Alison

Alison.

read

Aaron.

you have nothing to say surprise surprise

I hope you know you crushed Roman

congrats

Alison.

that wasn’t my intention.

you can be upset with me all you want, Aaron.

but I’m sick of keeping my feelings bottled up to make you happy.

Aaron.

you're kidding

why are you taking this out on Ro.

Alison

Alison.

I’m not taking it out on anyone Aaron.

Aaron.

i will never forgive you for this

Alison.

I’m not going to apologize for not being ready for our child to have a third parent. I’m sorry that I hurt Roman’s feelings, but I’m not gonna apologize for the way I feel.

Aaron.

read

#discord #text: alison #text #sheesh #this was so intense to write

[somnilogical]

case study: elle benjamin

the rationality community's least skilled exploiter of transmisogynistic coordination points known to me

when thinking about strategy, i often use the least sophisticated version of a given strategy that i know of to reason about the minimal elements of the strategy in general. i have an index of unsophisticated versions of things that i ping and ask "is this strategy basically this vector but with more optimization power behind it?" it helps compress a lot of information. to check, i can make a prediction given a set of examples of the pattern and test it.

(like i did with the transmisogynistic rationalist orgs "i bet this org has 0 transfems in positions of power" and yep they did, they all did.)

and thats how i factor strategies generated by agents with large amounts of optimization power. who might have more ability to optimize in a domain than i do.

both of these claims are false. elle benjamin never let emma into the group. shes culpable for her continued choice to "believe" bigoted propaganda. just as davis tower kingsley is culpable for "believing" that anna salamon, the president of cfar, isnt involved in cfar's hiring.

elle benjamin is deeply concerned about the treatment of trans people in the rationalist community. elle isnt that good at social optimization so this is an obvious false face. like a cop during segregation who runs an algorithm of "smile at people" if no black people are using the WHITE water fountain and "beat up a human" if a black human uses the WHITE water fountain. as long as trans women know their place as violent abusers like ▘▕▜▋, elle is happy.

if we start claiming we are women just the same as them and how people are treating us is wrong, if we protest against omnicide, if other people are coordinating against trans women along lines of transmisogyny; then elle decides its time to show us our place in the social order as male. violent, child abuse loving, misogynistic, strong-arming, men.

this decision-circuit is not peaceful. people who start trying to exploit transmisogyny in an attempt to coordinate with others against you only when you look vulnerable or they think they can get away with it and otherwise smile at transfems are with their whole soul given over to transmisogyny.

erica's post is so passive-aggressive!

<<One issue is that i think this group is just too large to remain a high trust environment.>>

<<Thanks everyone for keeping this a civil place that deals with sensitive issues all these years!>>

in reference to my blog posts about how they didnt have any transfem mods and immediately took down hot allostatic load because it was a [[bad culture fit]] and [[incoherent]]. as if i were expected to keep some confidentiality about transmisogyny. i have no loyalty to keeping secret that kind of oppression, i signed no contract to that effect.

as if telling other trans people exactly what they did was "uncivil"! as if it were ruinous to society instead of ruinous to a cis women coordinating on transmisogyny.

as if posting hot allostatic load and talking about transmisogyny on my blog were less "sensitive" than the other things the group was doing which included posts like "How many romantic novels/movies/etc do we have left, once we take away all the ones focused on a man relentlessly trying to convince a woman through trickery and persistence and stalking that she should really have sex with him" and "the White Knight/Damsel in Distress dynamic" at the time HAL was taken down.

https://somnilogical.tumblr.com/post/175420481784/i-tried-to-post-to-rationalist-feminists-closed

its an equilibrium where anyone opposing the "peace" of transmisogyny is labeled "antisocial" and "disrupting things".

would you say this woman is being misogynistic and "strong-arming" a female DA?

<<Last year, I was arrested twice in Sonoma County at Sunrise Farms and then Petaluma Poultry, two massive industrial farms that torture and kill hundreds of thousands of birds- while lying to the public about how these animals are treated. My crime? Asking the county to help the starving animals inside. Not just asking by email or phone call or office visit (though all these efforts were made and ignored), but asking by going right to the frontlines myself, exercising my statutory right to help neglected animals, and calling the attention of the authorities to this pervasive cruelty. The fact that the sheriffs chose to arrest us and ignore the animal cruelty broke my heart. It's hard to believe we live in a world where helping someone who is dying is the "crime" and not putting that life in danger in the first place. But have hope that this will change, and my hope growing.>>

<<Now, in response to the action at Reichardt, Sonoma County District Attorney Jill Ravitch has decided to file additional charges against me, Priya Sawhney, and Wayne Hsiung. We are already facing 7 felonies and 5 misdemeanors and we're still fighting for animals every day. Do you think new charges will stop us? No. And it wont stop the movement, either. They think they can stop DxE by targeting leadership, but they don't understand that we are a network of leaders. That every single one of us is leading the world to one of the biggest changes it will ever see. #RightToRescue>>

probably not because shes cis and looks like:

laying down and making it clear that you offer no impediment to mass murder is not a female thing, its not a feminist thing. its a *you* thing, elle benjamin.

someone commented on the screenshots:

<<(It feels relevant that when I met this person a few months ago they went on a rant about the evils of TERF’s before telling me I couldn’t experience misogyny bc I was “male-socialised.” They apologised quickly after having it explained but the idea of their being the Font of Wisdom about transness to rats is insane.)>>

https://loving-not-heyting.tumblr.com/post/614660027724283904/ht-somni-for-screengrabs-this-sums-up-absolutely

ozy brennan, i know what the fuck im talking about when i say "transmisogyny". ive been lied to then kicked out of a homeless shelter for being a trans woman. several men forced me to the ground and held me down and cut off my clothes while i shouted "I DONT CONSENT" locked me in a bare room then crowded around a window embedded in a door and said "i told you it was a guy" and a bunch of people came to gawk at my naked body. and so much more.

some of my interactions on the street in the bay:

<<at bart ppl would call me an ugly bitch and ask me to sleep with them in exchange for meth

someone tried to sell me something and i was like "im not interested in being scammed today" and they were like "bitch!!!"

i walked around in sf talking with a homeless women for ~8 hours and someone asked if we had boyfriends and offered to sell us meth if we went with him and i was like "no thanks" and she was like "how much?" but it was too expensive or something. she showed me lots of places to get food and shelter.

and like if i sit down in places for long enough people will come up to me and ask me if i have a boyfriend or if i want to go get coffee with them on a date.

sometimes ppl ask where im *really* from and if i was born a girl. sometimes ppl touch me on my back or thigh.>>

ive compared notes with cisfems, i get more solicitations to have sex with men in exchange for meth.

this isnt oppression olympics, this is "maybe 7-8 years ago when i started transitioning i didnt have a detailed model of transmisogyny, but now i cant not have one". alyssa vance could have one too (and know things like elle is the kind of person who exploits transmisogyny whenever she gets a chance) if she werent busy using her adult intelligence to defeat itself for miri/cfar.

what elle benjamin did was transmisogynistic and i can arbitrage actually being aligned with justice by taking a stack of screenshots of all the things she said and showing them to transfems uninvolved with the ambient miri/cfar gaslighting. and theyll be like "yup, thats transmisogyny". and other transfems can be like "yup, elle was also transmisogynist to me."

rationalists like alyssa vance and ozy brennan currently have an incentive to imply people who accurately identify transmisogyny are crazy. to go along with the status quo. (if i had to guess: ozy to protect an environment where they can provide for their baby, alyssa because she routed her hopes for personal immortality through miri/cfar.) though its not like i expect /alyssa vance/ to start calling transfems “gross uncle style abusers" like patrick lavictiore did or start listing off their "manly" physical characteristics contra anna salamon being a small feeble cisfem like peter did. not because alyssa vance is a particularly good person, shes not. but because thats paying in to a coordination technique that could be used against /her/. she doesnt expect social reality to label her "psychotic" anytime soon so she pays into that instead. ozy does and didnt call me "psychotic". this optimization is dumb, myopic, and doesnt serve their own values. but all evil is like that.

i dont hold by "use words for their expected value over a community" like scott alexander does. this is nice because i can align what i say with my internal cluster structure of anticipations of reality and escalate arbitrarily far without things breaking. elle benjamin cant escalate very far until her claim of ziz being a "misogynist" shatters, because its not exploiting the cluster structure of thing-space.

anyway GG on this front. the territory of "elle benjamin isnt transmisogynistic, somni is hallucinating transmisogyny" isnt worth enough for the miri/cfar campaign to expend energy on; elle benjamin isnt an important piece to miri/cfar like anna salamon is; and alyssa vance isnt in an environment with a bunch of warm bodies she can coordinate on a falsehood with. so afaict this region is ceded.

one technique of fem v fem cyberontological combat when you are right is arbitrage. when people gather a bunch of warm bodies together to gaslight you that elle benjamin isnt doing transmisogyny or whatever. instead of submitting to a series of increasingly arcane requirements until your writing looks like the inside of /principia mathematica/ and then have people complain about you writing long technical paragraphs saying they dont understand them dont care to understand them and you must be crazy;

just take a comprehensive recording of them all choosing to be dumb in a given direction and show it to people who dont have a political commitment to be dumb in that direction (which, when you are right, is often most people outside of the gaslighting bubble) and explain why its wrong. there are a lot of overlapping social spheres and you can iteratively arbitrage between them exploiting the fact that the methods of rationality and justice are more universal than specific false coordination points. in go terms, the spirit of this strategy is tenuki.

--

alyssa vance also says anna salamon isnt transmisogynistic, tried claiming ziz whistleblowing on miri/cfar paying out to blackmail was blackmail, and defends paying out to oneshot blackmail with subjunctive dependence for cdt reasons.

[sentofighta]

on the previous post note; muses’ affection expression (if they have partner or not)

Einar

he will let you pet and feed his cat. make his food because he HATES homemade food. compromise and let you hug him whenever you want. fix his clothes or touch his head. now to harder level. comfortable with you seeing his right magetik arm. comfortable with you seeing his bare chest with the scar and tattoo. sleep next to him and hug him while sleeping. will hug back because he will definitely want to hug you back (no sniff your hair shut up.) will use cat to talk to you because he is embarrassed to ask if you want to do something or go out. let you kiss him whenever you want. starts headbutting your back whenever he wants attention because he is a literal cat. pURRS when he is given attention. will start hugging you from the back maybe even carry you so he can sit you on his lap because he wanna hug all of you. he is tall sonvabinch he probably think of you as his cat. is it bad? idk. talk to him not me. excuse him to stop being shy about his fetish and sniff your hair because u definitely have nice smell mm yes. 

Eight

redirects. innocent af.  ok but shows up to ask if you wanna join his training. jogs nearby where you are/sit so he can see you. does the oh coincidence thing but it is not. will climb a tree to pick up an apple for you if you looked at it. stares into your general direction but has the cool calm poker face to cover it up at first. blushes a little whenever he sees you because you make his heart go boom boom and he did not feel like this before. the i might be sick because i feel weird whenever i see this person. sudden realization because he actually has good amount of smart braincells that he is in love. it could either go i am going to forget this because we are at war and i cant get distracted OR this is new for me and i am interested in knowing more about this route. whichever route you are bound to hyper active tiny boyfriend who will punch people for you. and has like the purest smile ever. have you seen my son smile that he obliterated the sun and the moons? yeah. 

Machina

actually knows how to flirt when he wants to. generally nice and caring to all but extra for his crush. will show up magically whenever you need help because he has the sixth sense (thanks to his fear lol) will help you study and train if you wished for it! hey wanna.....talk about chocobos? wiggle eyebrows. do you believe in collecting chocobo feathers? because my wish was granted; talking to you. will confess at the right time because he cant hide his feelings anymore. will hug and kiss you every time he sees you if you allowed him--well, hugs mostly because he likes being around you. obligatory nap around the chocobos. brushing your hair and playing with it definitely. h*ND h*LDING !!!!!!! EXTREME! carries you like the princess you are because he loves you to bits. high affection when he carries u, sits u on his lap then wraps his dracula cape around you both. just the cape wrapping is his thing because now you are so close to him and chu when no one is looking. ok the final stage could be you see him crying because lets face it he fucked up a lot haha~~~ u know ~~ usual machina dumb onagiri kyun stuff.

Zack

EXTREME FLIRTING WHAT IS GOOD BOY? are you an angel? can i offer my services for you?? stronk boy and soldier impressed or what? head pats. h*nd h*ldong god at an early stage because he means it. will make your wishes come true even if you wanna go to the moon. will make stuff for you. smiles brightly shinra uses him to generate electricity. tells u a lot that he is proud of you. tells u a lot he likes you. tells you a lot that he will protect you (and if u fight bonus that you willhave his back too) treasures everything you do and call you cute.  doting boyfo. actually very softy will cry if you put on a sad movie. carries you a lot because he has the stronk to do it. are you impressed x2?????? i love you~~~ hey hey do you know what? i love you~ listens to you and to your rambling. will beat up anyone who hurts you. excuse him to nap on you because this is his best spot. a lot of hugs. expect a lot of them hugs. hugs. hUGS. hes more of cheek and forehead chus because they are more playful but will give lip kiss if it was more serious and important situation. 

Sohrab

 . . . .if he allowed you to be near him when he is synthesizing that is the first step. initiate a conversation himself EVEN if he does not have anything to ask out of you. actually keep an eye on your vitals because you are...important test subject. makes things for you but calls them test items and he does not need them so take them. maybe he can slip a gift or two because he felt like it. does not nap around strangers but around you he is...fine. actually tells you he might see you in a different light but unsure how so dont expect much. gradually he will let you be close to him maybe touch his face or hair. no hugs or sudden kisses yet but if he prepared himself..it might be allowed. he is good at pip talk. also expect some sewing because mommy taught him how! count on him to fix things for you. gets tiny upset if you dont give him your broken things to fix or mend them. rely...on me ok? i may not be a strong fighter but....i can do other things. rare moment of a smile will definitely melt your heart. once he make up his mind, he will ask if you are willing to stick with a madman who probably likes science and alchemy maybe a little bit than you? 

Lucina

hey. wanna spar? compliment you a lot. smiles!!!!!!!!! more spar please. actually make effort to find you around many people but does not approach. just seeing you makes her happy for some reason. smile and wave. spar???????? talk to you more! compliment you for doing good job! now you have her watch your back and be a little bit reckless to protect you. apologize but she is not sorry to protect you. b-because you are an important friend . . . . . friend ? ? ? ?  lucina exe crush down. goes to read books about this explosion in her chest every time she sees you. books say to act natural. time to ignore you for a bit because it is said in the book play hard to get. regret decision when you mention if you did something wrong she will aPOLOGIZE ALOTALOTALOT! NO YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG IMSRRRYYYYY. new tactic. spar??????????????????????????????? please notice me. more effort in cooking things you like for the lunch break. you might die of poisoning but it is made with love!!!!! spar. . . . realize she cant confess, she cant express herself but in a spar. uses spar to tell you that she might be perhaps like you!!!!!!!! that is why she wanna be stronger!!!!!!!!!!!! blushing princess lucina of ylisse you will be executed by her dad if you make her cry. but actually cries if you say you like her back. cue her sudden doubts because not fit enough to be a ‘woman’ since she knows next to nothing about how to be a good partner. will promise to trust you and her heart. NAGA ALLOWS FOR AND HOLDING !!!!!!!!!!!!!! then she can be comfortable with hugs after tiny bit. you could for chus and she wouldnt mind but have mercy on her kokoro. expect her to chus your cheek every time she sees you because my S-support for life~ 

Roland

does not beat around the bushes. if he likes someone and is sure will confess. easy. got the ok he will start with whatever they are comfortable with. naga has blessed this and allowed hand holding. lets go for a picnic in the forest or anywhere. animals come because he is their friend! now you are animals friend because you are his girlfriend. very gentleman. does not do anything 18+. plus he probably cant due to his OCD so you are the only one after lucina he can hold her hand no problem. dont worry he may like his sister but he does not speak about her when you are around. leans against you and you can too! tells u he trust you so much. lets climb a tree and enjoy the scenery. or we can ride on Vesperus, his horse! listens to you and actually try to give you advice if he can. a courtesy kiss to your cheek~! he is trying his best! smiles from his heart it has been a long time someone made him feel loved like this. 

Aiden

go home she is a narcissist. but if someone managed she is just a dumb who will make your life miserable because she will prank the shit out of you at first. slowly warms up to the idea she likes someone. has a pretty good idea about where you were what were you doing ect because she was watching. she is watching you. make sure you have eaten. have you slept? compliment you if you impressed her. be more comfortable to rehearse her lines around you. asks you to help her rehearse. wanna play something together lets say walk on a tight rope??????? lol wuss. no hugs or touching till now. admits she might have something for you but....you may not like to be with an orphan of no lineage. pass that? well, then are you ready to accept she is criminal? pass that then are you ready to accept she is going to make you regret this choice??? because she will make every day of your life like a circus! excuse her to sweep your hand to hold it and tug you somewhere only for the two of you. let her hold your hand for a bit it is ...nice. leans against you. 

Balan

listen....i dont want to joke about this but...he is...probably over the human interactions because he married his job but i assure you he is very loyal man. thats it. 

Feiruz

yEEELLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! does not realize she loves you until one of her sisters point she mentions you like ten times in every conversation. is very kind and pure and diligent. will not force herself on you in any way just subtly gives you the things you like after going through the trial and error a couple of times! keeps notes of you in her ‘People journal’ because she is a scatterbrain. maybe draw a tiny heart around your name shhh love interest. is very happy and loud when she sees you!!!!! HE-LLLOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! asks about your health and if you had eaten properly and slept well. offers more gift from her own farm to impress you with her work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smiles~~~~ smiles even more around you because you make her happy. does not confess. she is not the type to. more like i will just watch because deep inside believes she can be loved due to some bullying in school and only her fam likes her (who likes a scatterbrain who keeps messing things up???) if you confess expect waterfall and ugly crying because she cant believe it is happening ;;;;a;;;; promises to do her best to make you happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she will do her best to make you happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 you made her happy beyond words and now just she clings to you please dont be upset with her she will do her best to not cause any trouble! but she bounces back and runs to bake something for this occasion~ time to feed boyfo! say ah~ be ready for fatting sessions because she will cook and bake a lot of things!! well, when she has time after her farm work now she is super excited and motivated! is shy but will give cheek chus if she can reach. likes to tug your shirt from behind so you can lower yourself so she can properly give you a kiss to your cheek/forehead. wishes you best of luck in your job!!!!!!!!!!! good luck!!! come home h-h-h-h-h-h-h...eeeeh....h-h-h-..HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;;;U;;;

#⌈⌈ooc. (faty speaks) #⌈⌈building up. (einar) #⌈⌈building up. (feiruz) #⌈⌈building up. (aiden) #⌈⌈building up. (eight) #⌈⌈building up. (machina) #⌈⌈building up. (zack) #⌈⌈building up. (sohrab) #⌈⌈building up. (lucina) #⌈⌈building up. (roland) #⌈⌈building up. (balan) #//i have no idea what does this do but ehre you go #//i cry.... #//i love my children #//me: dont come if you are after look #//aslo me: mY MUSES ARE PRETTY AND SEXY AND JUST COME

[itgetsbetter-ff]

Chapter 3- Deja Vu (Part 1)

Jeremiah

I was walking in the house after a long day at work, when I noticed my study light was on. My children knew better to go in there, and I knew Liv wasn’t home yet, so it wasn’t her.

I slowly walked to the door and opened it to find Aiden rummaging through me desk.

“Aiden, what they hell are you doing?” My voice boomed making him jump

He grabbed his chest, “You scared me.”

“You didn’t answer my question. You know not to be in my office,”

“I, um, was looking for matches?” He questioned, while rubbing his neck. Instant tell he was lying.

“You wanna lie again, and get your ass beat. Or tell me the truth.” I folded my arms and leaned up against the door frame.

He sighed, “Dad, I just-“

“Aiden. I’m not going to ask you again, tell me before I put you through that damn wall.”

“I was looking to see if you had any information about my mom. Not Olivia. Like my real mom.” He sighed,   

The way he said it, I knew he was afraid to talk to me about it. His mother was a subject I refuse to talk about.  

“Liv is your real mother.”

“Dad, c’mon. I turn 20 next week. Sage, Marie and Maurice know their mother. I love Liv but I want to know my real mom.” He begged.

“Is Olivia not enough for you?”

I wanted to know, because She’s been a damn good wife and mother and my son sounds extremely ungrateful.

“Dad. Thats not even it!” He whined.

“As far as I’m concerned, Olivia is your mother. You won’t find a damn thing about that bitch in my office. Now put everything back where you found it. End of discussion.” He knew I was serious, by the look on my face and by the tone of my voice.  

That bitch was not a topic of discussion. I turned to leave to go upstairs when he said:

“Avery. Sage told me her first name was Avery and that my middle name is her last name. Avery Jordan. I have a name Dad.”

I turned to look at him, but before I knew it, I was in his face. Ready to fight him, he saw the look in my eyes and was scared for his life.

“Jeremiah! Stop!” Olivia said, she must’ve gotten home, in the short time I was talking to Aiden. She came in between us, and put her hand on my chest to make me back out of his face, but I wasn’t backing down.

“You want to know more about the bitch who let you get break your arm and leg when you were 6? Because she was so fucking high off her ass in the house with her damn coke-head boyfriend? Or the bitch who burned you, and had you in the hospital for a week, when you were a baby?”

“Jeremiah!” Liv yelled.

“NO Liv, he wants to know about the bitch that got up in FUCKIN COURT, AND TOLD THE DAMN JUDGE SHE WISH SHE ABORTED YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS BECAUSE SHE HATED ME. HUH? YOU WANT TO KNOW THAT BITCH! Who never wanted you! NEVER CARED FOR YOU! The bitch who got her rights taken away because you were in the FUCKIN CAR THE DAY SHE CRASHED IT BECAUSE SHE WAS HIGH OFF OF CRACK!”

“I gave that bitch chance, after chance, after chance to do right by you and she never did, I thought she’d AT LEAST have to DECENCY to care for you because you were her son! You wanting to look for her, isn’t going to do you well! Olivia is the best thing that ever happened to you! STOP BEING SO FUCKIN UNGRATEFUL!”

By the time I stopped yelling, Aiden had tears rolling down his face, and he pushed past me and Olivia to walk out the room.  

“AIDEN COME BACK!” Olivia yelled, chasing after him

We heard the garage door slam and his car speed off so fast, you could smell the burnt rubber in the house.

“Why the hell would you do that?” Liv came back crossing her arms and was angry, I knew she was but I didn’t care.

“He needed to know.”

“No he didn’t. Not every single wrong doing detail she made apart of his life He just wants to know her, J! Even if she is a crazy ass coke-head drunk.” She instantly scolded me.

“He has you! What does he need her for!!” I yelled, this whole situation was getting me hot.

“You don’t know what it’s like to not have a parent. My daddy was killed and my step father was a phenomenal substitution, but it didn’t stop me from wanting my father and wanting to know him. You have to compromise J.”

I sighed, knowing she was right, I did just hurt my son for no reason. But I was honestly and truly concerned for his safety. I haven’t talked or heard from Avery in over maybe 12 years. She could do even more damage than she did before.

“She’s going to hurt him again, if he finds her Liv, and I will kill her if she hurts my son again.”

“He’s a grown ass man now J. We’ve given him the tools to recognize bullshit and the tools to stand up for himself. You never know, she may do right by him this time…. but if she hurts him, it might be the last time she’s ever around him, but that has to be his decision. Don’t push Aye away, because you despise his birth giver.”

“You do too.” I smirked

“Yeah…. but he has to hear about her from you, not me.” She shrugged.

Kaliea

Seven.

That’s the number of days that I have to spend the night over my dad’s house

Three.

The amount of little sister’s I have…. triplets. Evie, Errie and Emmie.

Four.

How many days until I am back with my mom again and having peace.

I tend not to tell my mom everything that goes on on my dad’s house, because I know that as soon as I do…. she’d kill my father and his wife.

Eva…. its not pronounced E-va….. it’s prounounced EH-va. So Eva, was nice when I was younger, she treated me like I was her own daughter and everything was great.  

Until the triplets came, and she thinks that they’re above me in every single way, shape or form and my dad does nothing about it

I’m 16 years old… and these bratz are 10.

They treat me like the ugly stepchild and you know what? Bitch I’m not fuckin Cinderella. But I love my Dad, i just hate the rest of his family.

“ZOOOOEY!!!!!” Emmie yelled, running into my room

“Yes, Emmie?”

I was already annoyed by her tone.

“So, I broke an expensive vase that MY mommy bought….. I think you should replace it.”

Do you see what I mean?

“And why should I do that?”

“Because I told my mommy you broke it.” She smiled mischievously

Before I could even say anything, Eva was calling me.

I went downstairs, and there it was a vase, by her feet.

“Emmie said you broke my $5,000 vase.” She said with anger behind her voice

“Eva, I’ve been in my room this entire day. I didn’t even know that was down here.”

“You and your mother are going to replace my vase.”

I laughed, but when she didn’t I knew she was serious,

“Eva, you are seriously going to make me pay for a vase, I didn’t break or even knew existed, because your 10 year old, who broke it by the way… said I did it?” I asked, I was in serious disbelief.

She pursed her lips together before she spoke, “My daughter, none of them, would lie to me, or break things. I raised them way better than that, now for you I can’t say the same.”

“You know what, It’s time for me to go home.”

It’s sad that I can’t even get to spend enough time with my father because of his wife and other children, but it’s worse because I know as soon as I leave, he’ll try to get me to come back, and that’s a whole mess in itself because my father lived 3 states away and I see him like twice a year.

Being that I didn’t have a way, to the airport, I had uber from the house, because Eva was not giving me a damn ride.

I refuse to give her any damn money for something I didn’t do. Hell Mom couldn’t afford it anyways. I wasn’t about to put that burden on her.  

You know, we live comfortably. My dad pays for my schooling and majority of my expenses, and mom works tirelessly all the time and we live in a condo together. Apparently, when I was younger, my father agreed to pay for everything and take care of us. Once his wife became pregnant, he took back his promise. I want my mom to be happy and I know she isn’t. I low-key just want her to go out and date, she hasn’t been on one since before I was born. But that’s another conversation for another day.

~~~~~~

Finally arriving back home, I was tired, getting an easier flight drained my savings and I just wanted my bed. I walked in the front door, to damn near half my family in my living room.

“Lizzie!! Lea just walked through the door!” My Aunt Rose called out

My mom came out of the kitchen on the phone and looked relieved to see me, but relief turned to anger, in like two seconds.

“Alright, she’s here Jaxon, I’ll have her call you tomorrow.” She spoke into the phone.

As soon as she was off, she glared at me.

“If I say, the reason I left was because I miss you would that get me out of trouble?” I mumbled

“No, what the hell were you thinking Zoey!” She crossed her arms and tapped her foot waiting an explanation.

I honestly didn’t want to tell her the truth, and I know that if I lied, it was gonna piss her off.

“I just didn’t wanna be around the triplets, I wanted to come and be an only child again.” I smiled cutely.

“They can’t be that bad for you to leave your father’s house and get on a plane to come back home Zoey.” My mom said a little frustrated.

She had no idea how horrible they were. I just shrugged “I also missed you mom. I didn’t like you being here by yourself.”

She sighed. “Zo we talked about this.”

“I know but I’m here, and I missed you, and I’m tired.” I said kissed her cheek and hugging her and she immediately caved.

“Fine. I’m glad you’re safe.” She said.

I nodded and said goodnight to all of my family and went to my room and slept for the first time since getting to my fathers. I was at peace.

 Mason

So after dealing with the whole situation that was Treasure vs all of my sisters and then Dominique finding out she was pregnant. It’s been a very tense house for the past 2 weeks, if I do say so.  Dad isn’t  talking to Dominique, Dad isn’t talking to Mom, Angel isn’t talking to Dominique,Mom or Dad. And I’m the go-to for everyone and their problems. Exhausting.

Sitting on the stool in front of the island, eating my cereal and scrolling on Instagram, my lovely sister interrupts my alone time, by face timing me .

“What do you want Gigi?” I said pretending to be annoyed.

“Oh, I guess you don’t want them new gucci’s I got you huh?” She said pushing her new pink hair out of her face.

“I do, but you look like pepto.” I chuckled

“Nigga, shut the hell up, I like my hair and you know Tay just did it for me.” She smiled.

Tay was one of her best friends, who they own a salon together and barbershop. I get my haircut over there.

“Yeah, Yeah. What you want?” I said getting back to the point.

“Is Mommy or Daddy there? I wanna take some stuff from the house, but I don’t wanna run into them or Andrea.”

“Nope all of them are out. Mom, Domi and Maddie all went out and Dad took the boys to football.”

She smiled, “Great! I’ll be over in 10 mins!” and then hung up the phone.  

I just rolled my eyes and kept scrolling on my phone, but I heard the garage open, and I know for a fact Angel didn’t drive that fast to the house.

“May May!” Maddie squealed, calling me the nickname she gave me when she couldn’t say Mason. I grunted cause she knew I hated that shit

“I’d prefer if you called me Dominic. Hell or even Zacharie, before you call me May may again.”

She just giggled and squeezed my cheeks, “but you’re my may may!”

“Okay then, Adrianna.” I laughed

She smacked her lips. “Fine. Mason.”

“Maddie, are you messing with your brother?” Ma accused.

She smiled sweetly, “I would never mommy. I love May may.” She then kissed my cheek and ran away before I could snatch her up.

Ma laughed and started to put up the groceries. “How’s school Mason?”

Before I could talk, Dominique walked through the door and I damn near bursted out laughing.

“Hey Mason.” Domi said coming to hug me.

“You okay?” I asked hugging her a little longer than usual, she nodded her head in my shoulder, but I know damn well, she was not okay.

“Come talk to me whenever, you know I’m here.” I told her.

She just bit her lip and nodded her head.

“Dominique, please take your bags and Maddie’s bags upstairs please.” Ma spoke in a scolding type of voice.

“Yes maam.” She said and took the bags upstairs.

Once she was out of hear shot, “Are you going to let up on her? You know she’s sorry.” I defended my sister to my mom.

Ma stopped what she was doing and just sighed, looking at me “I know that, but she needs to know that she’s in trouble. I started talking to her because I know its tearing her up that your father isn’t talking to her. I just, wish she would’ve waited to have sex, she wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“And what age did you and dad start having sex?” I accused.

My mom looked like she wanted to slap me. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” She asked me

I smirked, “We aren’t talking about me mommy. Plus I’m a virgin” I spoke sweetly

She threw a roll of paper towels at me “Yeah, Right. With that crazy bitch Treasure around my house.”

I chuckled.

“Mason!!!! Your favorite sister is here” Angel yelled coming in the house. I’m assuming the front door, because if she came through the garage she would’ve saw mom’s car and would’ve stayed outside.

“Nigga! Maddie upstairs, I’m in the Kitchen” I cackled back to her

“You bitch ass ni-“ She started to say coming through the doorway, but stopped when she saw my mother.

“You want to finish that sentence?” Ma challenged.

Angel just smacked her lips and stayed quiet. Once my mom looked over Angel, she realized why I bursted out laughing earlier.  

“God, why me?” She wailed.

Angel just looked at me, and I could tell she was confused. But then, as if on perfect timing, Dominique walked in with similar pink hair as Angel. They both had the best reactions, it caused me to fall off the stool in laughter.

“Mason, it’s not funny!” Angel screamed hysterically at me, and then punched me. But it only made me laugh harder.

She then pointed at Domi and said “You need to change that immediately.”

“Angel. I-“ Domi started but then Angel cut her eyes at her, which made her shut up.

“ANGELIQUE! I’m tired of this bullshit. You change your hair.” My mom yelled, and for her to cuss, I knew she was pissed off.

“But Momm-“

“I don’t give a flying fuck. I paid $500 for her to get that damn color. Unless you’re paying to get it redone. Shut the fuck up. You have other colorful wigs that you can wear!”

“Ma, It’s the principal!”

“ANGELIQUE” Mom’s voice boomed.

“UGH!” Angel screamed, and then turned around and bumped shoulders into Dominique on purpose and left out the kitchen, she then proceeded to stomp up the stairs to get her things from her room.

“Is my child fucking 16 or 23!” She screamed out of frustration.

I guess she noticed me just sitting there and Dominique, kind of frozen in her place.

“Andrea. I know you don’t want to fight with Angelique, but I need you stand up for yourself. Please!” Mom said

“Ma!” I was pissed she just said that

“Dominic. Shut up.” She snapped, she used both our first names, I knew she was serious, and I did not want that smoke.

“Momma I-“ Domi started, her voice started to crack and I knew she was about to cry.

“I dont want to hear it. I didn’t raise you to let people talk down to you and walk all over you. And you constantly let Angelique do it. Stop it. Stand up for yourself and she will leave you alone. Now, go get ready, we have to go to the jail to see your mother. Your father will be home soon.”

Before I could blink she was out of the kitchen. Leaving me and momma there.

“Don’t say a damn thing Dominic.” She cut her eyes at me.

I just put my hands up in defense and went to stand up.

“No disrespect momma, but calling her Andrea was low and telling her to stand up to Angel wont work.”

“I can’t protect her forever, hell neither can you or your father. She needs to do it for herself and her child. She needs to start now.” Mom spoke

Before I could answer, I was being tackled by the terrible two : Major and Micah

“DAMN! Y’all niggas dirty as fuck!” I was pissed, they covered in mud and shit and wanna tackle me.

“DYLAN AND DORIAN GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN COVERED IN MUD BEFORE I WHOOP YOUR ASS!” Mom screeched.

“Major and Micah get y’all asses up and get in the shower like I told y’all too.” Dad’s voice boomed,

Terrible two knew they were in trouble, and got up running upstairs.

Dad looked at me and chuckled, “You might wanna take a shower too son.” Patting my shoulder.

I brushed him off  walking out the kitchen“Ha ha you’re so funny old man.”

Before I left the doorway, my mom mumbled to dad, “You still not talking to me Dominic?”

Dad answered, “Nope, nothing to say Giselle.”

I rolled my eyes, they’re so overdramatic for no fuckin reason.

Katie

Days like this literally make me happy. No one in this place can take my happiness. When I called Andrea for our weekly phone call, she mentioned stopping by this weekend. It wasn’t even our scheduled week. So I was extremely happy.

I know that my daughter isn’t my biggest fan, but she’s never asked to come when she didn’t have to, and that can only mean good things, right? My mother was also coming for this visit and not even that can ruin my day.

Back when Andrea was born, my mother and Dominic  made the agreement that Andrea would come to visit me, while in jail twice a month, and weekly phone calls, excluding when they take her on vacation or she has school trips. I love my visits with my daughter because I want to get to know her and I want her to love and accept me like I do with her.  To be quite honest, the only reason why she doesn’t have a good relationship with me, is because of Giselle.

I couldn’t even get angry at the thought of Giselle, because it was time for my visit with my family. I, of course was the first person in the private room, it made me happy that the guards took off all of my chains for today’s visit.  

When the door opened, i expected to see Andrea, but Giselle walked through the door first, with Dominic following her.

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Where’s Andrea, and why are you here.” I pointed to Giselle.

“Kaitlynn I don’t know what medicine this place, is giving you, but you know damn well not to speak to me, unless spoken too. I’m here because my daughter wants me here. Trust me, I rather not be.” She said, unenthusiastically

Before I could say something else, Dominic and Giselle looked at each other quickly and then he spoke up saying “She’s a little under the weather and  went to the bathroom, and she’ll be right in.” And they both sat down.

I don’t know, why it made me nervous, but it reminded me of the first time, she came to visit me.

I finally get to see my daughter today. I haven’t seen her since I gave birth to her, about a year ago, but Dominic promised he would bring her. My mother sends me pictures and updates but it’s not really the same. My baby was growing up without me and I couldn’t help but to be envious of the people around her.

I haven’t been the best person in jail, when I was pregnant with Andrea, I never did anything. But after she was basically snatched from my hands after giving birth to her, I was angry. I started fighting, and putting people in the Jail’s hospital. I couldn’t take the separation, and what made it worse, was the fact that whenever she was supposed to visit, I was either in Solitary confinement or the jail was locked down. I finally realized that I had to behave to see her, and I get to see her a day after her first birthday.

I made her a cake in the kitchen, that costs me some money off my commissary, so did buying balloons and decorating. I wanted it to be special. I was waiting in the secluded room, when the door opened, and I jumped up excited to see Dominic walk through the door, with a carseat in his hand. I frowned when I saw Giselle follow behind…..

After walking through the door, Dominic paused to look around the room , at my decorations and then looked at Giselle. They both made the same face.

“Um, I made her a cake, you know since it’s her first birthday. I even got a number 1 candle. We can’t light it though. The guards will be upset. I got her a party hat. My commissary ran out so I couldn’t buy her any toys, but I got balloons and a pitcher of water.”

I was talking fast because I was nervous, I know this was a hot mess. I knew they weren’t expecting this, and I knew that they probably threw her the most amazing first birthday party, and I couldn’t compete, especially behind bars.

“It’s nice. It came from the heart,” Giselle spoke, and Dominic kind of gave her a bewildered look and scoffed

I ignored that, and asked, “ Can I see her?”

Dominic sighed, and put the carseat on the table, and he slowly took her out.

She was the most angelic baby, I ever laid my eyes on. She had my big eyes, but they were Dominic’s color. My hair, my nose, my baby was beautiful. I kind of got teary eyed, and reached out to hold her, but Dominic step back a little.

“Dominic.” Giselle whispered.

He sighed and told me to be careful, he handed me her and when I tell you, it felt so good to touch my daughter for the first time in her life. She was amazing and I was in bliss. She was everything I could ever imagine. I was ready to get this party started and enjoy my baby’s birthday. I told them that I was ready to cut the cake and feed it to her but Giselle stopped me.

“What is your cake made out of?” Giselle asked

It was weird that she was talking and Dominic was silent.

“Box cake? Like eggs, Milk, oil?” I said

“She’s allergic to Milk and other Dairy products, right now, The doctor said she’ll grow out of it.”  She informed me

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” I spoke slightly defeated.

Dominic scoffed, “Of course you wouldn’t. You would know, if you weren’t  a murderer in fucking jail.”

He was right, i don’t know anything about the person, I gave birth to. Giselle sighed at Dominic’s pettiness and brushed hair out of her face. That’s when I saw the ring.

“You are getting married?”  

“Yes, we are.” Dominic spoke, nonchalantly.

“When did this happen?” I was in slight disbelief

“Does it fucking matter!” Dominic rose his voice.

“YES IT DOES FUCKING MATTER!” I yelled, I was beyond angry. How dare you flaunt your engagement to the man I love, the father of my child IN MY FUCKIN FACE ON MY DAUGHTER’S FIRST VISIT!

He couldn’t even respond, because my yelling upset Andrea, and she started crying. I tried to soothe her, but it only made it worse. She was screaming her head off, and she started crying ‘MAMA’ and reaching for Giselle.

“WHY IS SHE CALLING YOU MAMA!” I cried out

Giselle tried to reach for her, but I pulled her back and that made the crying worse.

“Give us Dominique, Katie.” Dominic said.

“HER NAME IS ANDREA!!! I’M HER MOTHER! SHE SHOULDN’T CALL HER MAMA! I’M MAMA!!!”

The guards came in because of the commotion, my yelling, Andrea’s crying, Dominic and Giselle’s pleas for Andrea. The Guards forcefully took her out of my hands and gave Andrea to Giselle, while others chained me back up.

Giselle rubbed her back and said “It’s okay. Momma’s got you. We’re going home now.” and walked out with Dominic and Andrea, while I was being chained face to the ground.

I spent another month in solitary confinement after that.

It was the worst day of my life.

I was brought out of my thoughts by my mom and Andrea coming in. Andrea had recent gotten her hair dyed pink, and I knew that my mother was fussing at her about it. I could tell by the look on her face. She continues to ignore my mom and we all sat at the round table and no one spoke.

Dominic, the only man I have ever truly loved, definitely aged well over time. His tattoos still looking as if he got them yesterday. Same physic and even more defined than before. I would be lying if I said I don’t think about his regularly to pleasure myself. Being in jail….. you definitely get lonely.

Anyways, he cleared his throat,  

“The reason why we are all here today is because-“

I cut him off and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear, “Your father said you were sick honey. Are you okay?” She slightly jumped at my touch and scooted towards Giselle who was sitting next to her on the other side. Andrea reached over and held her hand.

I wish she was just this affectionate with me.

“She’s fine.” Dominic answered. “Like I was saying, the reason why we are all here, is because Dominique, has something to tell you both.”

I turned to Andrea who had her head down. Whatever she wanted to tell us, she was afraid.

“Andrea, spit it out, I don’t have all day. I need to get back to your grandfather.” My mother spoke.

“Honey, whatever it is. Just tell us.” I said  

Andrea looked to Giselle to which, Giselle nodded her head and Andrea took a breathe.

“Mom, An’Dreanna. I, um, recently just found out that I am 7 weeks pregnant. But that was last week, so now I’m 8 weeks. I am having some morning sickness, and that’s what Daddy meant when he said I was sick.”

We all kind of sat in silence, my mom being the first to speak.

“I did not allow Giselle to adopt my only grandchild, for her to become a teenage mother. Whatever you need for the abortion, I will gladly supply it.” and she was stern with it.

“Ignoring your insult to me, because I have raised Dominique to be an outstanding woman, Dominique has opted to keep the baby, An’Dreanna, she’s not getting an abortion.” Giselle said.

“How, when she’s only had a week to think about it? Yes, she is. No grandchild of mine is having a baby at 16 years old. First, Calliope with her continuous affair, Kaitlynn in jail, The only successful child of mine is my son. I had high hopes for you Andrea, and you disappoint me every single time.”

“AN’DREANNA THAT’S ENOUGH! She wants to keep her baby! Whether you like it or not, we have 7 months to prepare her for a lifetime of motherhood! Either you’re going to help or you’re going to keep your opinions to yourself.” Dominic yelled, which instantly shut my mother up.

“I’m going to be a grandma?” I whispered with tears in my eyes, “I’m so happy!”

“Mom.” Andrea mumbled.

“We need to start planning your baby shower, I’ll save you some money from my job in the library and send it to you and we need to look at baby names!”

“Mom.”

I grabbed her face “Oh Honey I’m so happy for you! I’m not mad at all!!”

“Mom, can you listen?”

“If it’s a boy you can name it after my father and if it’s a girl, maybe name her after me!” I squealed

Once I said that, she instantly got a bewildered look on her face.

“MOM! STOP!” She yelled

“What? I’m excited for my first grandchild!” I laughed, looking around the table at their either blank or disappointing faces. This was a miracle, I know that this will bring us closer because the child will be my actual grandchild, something that Dominic, Giselle, nor my mother could take away from me.

She sighed,  

“That’s the thing mom. My baby will never come to this prison to visit you. I will never bring him or her here, I barely like coming here. You are detrimental to society and even more to my baby. I will never name any of my children after you. How in THE WORLD can you expect to be the perfect grandma behind bars!?  

Every time it’s my birthday you show me this sad ass picture of me and you, days after my birthday. I didn’t even know you. I didn’t even know you were my real mother until I was 3! You DIDN’T RAISE ME” She said getting upset,

Giselle whipped her head to give Andrea, a stank eye. “Andrea Dominique Cartier, I don’t give a damn what Katie did or didn’t do. I for damn sure didn’t raise you to disrespect.”  

Giselle trying to help, only pissed me off even more, She literally is controlling MY child in front of me!!! Andrea slowly backed down, but got upset again when I yelled,

“THAT’S NOT MY FAULT ANDREA!!”  

She stood up and backed away from the table,

“YES IT IS!!!! YOU’RE IN JAIL BECAUSE OF YOU! How can my child call you grandma! WHEN YOU TRIED TO KILL MY FATHER! They will never know of the monster that created me. They will never know the monster that is my birth mother. I thought I’d tell you in person.”

I was speechless, it felt like my whole world was crashing down. I couldn’t breathe. This isn’t Andrea talking, it’s Giselle and I know it!

“I don’t want anything from you An’Dreanna when it comes to the baby, except I want to be let out of coming here twice a month and weekly phone calls.” She mumbled to my mother.

The look on her face, it seemed like she was considering it. These are the only days I look forward to, and they are in the hands of the 3 people I hate the most.

“Mother, please. You know how much those mean to me.” I begged my mom, I needed her to be on my side for once in my entire life.

“I’ll think about it.”  

“Thank you, because this is the last time I’m ever coming here.”

I sucked in a breathe, Andrea got up to leave the room.

“Andrea, please. I’m your mother, don’t do this to me.” I pleaded with her by grabbing her arm, but she snatched away from me  and ignored me.

“Andrea!”

“ANDREA! PLEASE!!!”

As, the room door shut and I couldn’t see her anymore, I started crying.

My sadness then turned to rage.

“YOU BITCH! YOU TURNED MY DAUGHTER AGAINST ME!!!! I WONT EVEN KNOW HER CHILD!” I screamed at Giselle before I tackled her on the ground.

We instantly started fighting, and the guards broke us apart, pushing me to the ground and chaining me up yet again. I was still crying after they hauled me out the room and into my cell. I instantly started sobbing uncontrollably and loudly, to the point other inmates were threatening my life. I didn’t care because I lost my only will of living, and her being pregnant gave me hope of a better relationship, and she quickly took that away from me.

Her first birthday wasn’t the worst day of my life……. Today was.

#ariana fletcher #Ariana fletcher fan fic #beyonce #beyonce fan fic #beyonce fan fiction #keith powers #yara shahidi #mack wilds #Trevor Jackson #chris brown #nicki minaj #darnell nicole #kate upton #jermaine cole #j. cole #chriyonce fan fic #chris brown fan fiction

[svucarisiaddict]

can you do a nick one where the reader is a detective and she ends up in a hostage situation and the hostage taker puts the gun to her head and says something like “you love her. Don’t you?” To nick and he has to admit it

//This is so long! Sorry! I’m talking 2500+words…I get a bit carried away sometimes//

Soft light started filtering through the curtains waking you from your peaceful slumber. A heavy arm was over your body holding you in place which was fine and dandy with you. Mornings like this were few and far between for you and Nick so you were relishing every second.

“You awake?” Nick mumbled as he nuzzled his nose in your hair. His hand skimmed down your bare thigh. “Cause if your not. I’m about to give you a very rude awakening.”

“Hmmm…just how rude?” You shifted your hips to press back into Nick.

“Obscenely rude,” he replied.

“Oh, how I love Saturdays.”

Nick peppered kisses on your shoulder and down your arm while his hand traveled over your belly slowly making his way to the juncture between your thighs. Nick’s phone rang and buzzed on the nightstand. He groaned as he rolled away from you to answer. “Amaro. Got it Liv. I’ll be there in 20. No. It’s okay. I’ll call her. See ya.”

“How bad?” you asked as you sat on the side of the bed before standing and wrapping the sheet around you.

“Bad bad,” Nick answered. “Rape, homicide and hostage situation.” He pulled on his boxers and started redressing.

“Jesus. Guess that answers my next question about a shower. What time is it anyway?”

“Uh, just after 6am. You finish getting dressed. I’ll get the coffee going.” He rounded to your side of the bed and kissed your cheek. “Good morning by the way, .”

“It would’ve been a lot better if Liv hadn’t have called,” you grumbled.

Thirty minutes later you and Nick rolled up to the scene. Liv and Carisi were already there and Fin was pulling up at the same time as you.

“Mornin’ guys. Didn’t you wear that suit yesterday, Amaro? Dry cleaners closed or somthin’?” He smirked.

You hid a grin behind your coffee cup. Fin knew about you and Nick but put on that he didn’t. You had a pretty great partner in Fin. Usually, Nick had an extra suit at your place. Unfortunately, the suit he had on was extra from when he stayed the previous night.

Nick nodded his head. “Yeah. Something like that.��

The three of you reached Liv and Carisi to get a briefing on the situation at hand. She gave you a quick rundown. A man followed his ex and her new boyfriend home. Raped her, killed the new boyfriend and was now holding her and her roommate hostage.

“Hey, Nick. Is that the same suit from yesterday?” Sonny asked as the group walked to the mobile command.

“Shut up, Carisi,” Nick said.

“Sorry, Sarge,” Sonny replied.

Liv eyed you and Nick but didn’t comment. “Well now that we’ve all acknowledged that Nick is wearing the same suit he did yesterday can we please get back to the case?” She gave pointed looks to you and Nick. “Okay, guys name is Jake Malone.”

Your ears perked at the name. “The hostage taker? He early 30’s, tall, red hair?” you asked.

“Think you know him?” Fin asked.

“Possibly. An old roommate had a brother by that name. Probably a coincidence,” you concluded.

“Here is his picture,” Liv said as she passed you the tablet she had in he hand.

“It is him. Holy shit,” you mumbled. Something in his eyes was different. He was always happy, the life of the party, his eyes bright, but now they just looked sad. “Has anyone made contact with him?”

“Just one phone call from the negotiator but he hung up,” Liv informed you.

“Let me talk to him. Maybe if it’s someone he knows he’ll be more open to talking,” you suggested.

“You’re not going in there,” Nick blurted out. “Too dangerous. Even more so because he knows you.”

Everyone’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at Nick’s outburst. Except for you. Right now you were shooting him daggers. Smooth, Nick. Real smooth. “Who do you think you are? Last I checked I could make my own decisions,” you snapped.

Nick pointed a finger in the air at you. “I’m your sergeant and your-” Nick stopped his speech right before he outed the two of you the squad, half the ESU and negotiations. “I’ll go. I doubt he wants to talk to a woman right now since he feels like he was screwed over by one.”

“You may be my sergeant but Liv has final say.” Crossing your hand over your chest you turned your attention to her. “So. Do you think I can handle it?”

She stood silent for a moment no doubt replaying the interaction that you and Nick just had. Liv looked between you and Nick. “Get your vest on,” she directed you.

“Your alpha male is showing,” you said in passing. You made it a point to shoulder check him.

“Really mature,” he mumbled.

“Fin you stay close to her, but out of sight,” Liv ordered.

“On it,” Fin replied. He jogged to catch up with you. “Trouble in paradise?” he asked you.

You looked around to be sure no one could hear you. “It’s like all of a sudden he sees me like some fragile porcelain doll,” you answered. “Drives me nuts.”

“He sees as more than a fellow cop now. The dynamic of your relationship has changed. Nick has always been protective but now that you two are…well together that protectiveness just went into overdrive,” Fin explained.

“You ready? We got him on the phone.” The negotiator said.

You nodded and took the phone as he passed it to you. “Jake? It’s Y/F/N Y/L/N. I’d like to come up and talk with you if that’s okay?” He repeated your name then was silent. He finally agreed but only without a gun and you had to come alone. “That’s not a problem, Jake. I’m giving my gun to my partner right now.” You unholstered your gun handing it over to Fin.

When Nick saw what you were doing he shook his head and started stalking toward you. You halted him with one look. He clenched his jaw but stayed put.

The walk up the five flights of stairs felt like it took forever. When you reached the apartment you rapped on the door. A woman opened the door with the chain attached. “I’m Y/N.” The door closed and you heard the chain slide open. You were ushered in quickly. The woman that opened the seemed unharmed physically but she was terrified. Her eyes were big as she opened the door. “What’s your name?” you asked the brunette.

“Tori,” she said.

“It’s okay, Tori. I’m gonna get you out of here,” you said in a calm voice.

Holding your hands up you made eye contact with Jake. It had been a couple years that you had seen him. His eyes were haunted.

He blinked rapidly and shook his head. “Y/N? I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did it,” he said in a shaky voice. His arm was around her neck with a gun pushed to her head.

“Cause you’re a psycho. I should have known as soon as we started dating,” the blonde said. Must be the ex, Mandy.

This was your opportunity, a little role reversal. “Okay, Mandy. What did you do him?”

The look she gave you could kill. After a beat, she understood what you were trying to do. “I-I had a miscarriage, cheated on him,” she stammered.  “I’m so sorry, Jake. It was wrong.”

“Too late for apologies. Our baby is gone. Maybe you should have thought about that before you became a slut,” he spat.

“I’m sorry you have to go through that. That was a horrible thing to do,” you empathized.

He lowered the gun. “I just want to be happy again,” he said.

“I know you do. What you went through, I can’t imagine.” You bite your bottom lip then took a deep breath. “Why don’t let these two go. So we can sit and talk,” you suggested.

His phone started ringing. “That will be my lieutenant. She wants to help get everyone out safely,” you stated.

He never broke eye contact with you as he answered the phone. “Hello? They’re fine. No. No. I won’t do that.” He took a deep breath then pushed on the screen of the phone setting it on a nearby table. “Tell him you are okay. He doesn’t believe me.”

“This is Sargeant Amaro. How is everyone?”

Fucking Nick. “We’re fine, Sergeant. Jake is calm. We’re talking.” The other women chimed in saying they were fine. “We were talking. Jake is going to let Tori go. Right, Jake?”

Jake put his hand to his head. “I dunno.”

“If you cooperate with them, they work with you, Jake,” you reminded him.

“Go. Fucking go.”

“Tori. Head out, slowly.” She nodded her head in acknowledgment. You breathed a sigh of relief when she got out the door. “Tori is coming down now.”

“Thank you-” Nick was saying but Jake ended the call.

Mandy tried to squirm out of his grasp. “Not you,” he said and tightened his arm around her neck.

“Please, Jake. I’m sorry. I-I want to come back. I was stupid-” she begged before she was cut off by Jake.

“You really think I want you back? A cheating whore?” he said with disgust. “I want someone that will stay loyal, honest…”

You knew ESU had cameras, mics, snipers in place by this time. It’s what I want too. Hard to find it these days. Seems all anyone wants is a roll in the hay, then see ya later.”

Jake eyed you skeptically. “Yeah. Or they act like they want to be with you but don’t actually make the commitment.”

You smiled. “You really seem to get me. Why didn’t we talk more when I and your sister were roommates?”

He actually gave you a smile. “I was too shy. You were older and just seemed out of my league.” Jake started loosening his grip on Mandy. “Do-do you have a boyfriend?”

“I really wouldn’t call him that,” you scoffed. “Probably using me like every other man has. Guess I’ll take what I can get. It’s really all I deserve.” Looking up at him through your lashes you said, “makes me wonder if there are any good guys left out there.”

“Those are boys. Men don’t treat women like that,” Jake stated. “You deserve better than whoever it is you’re with right now.”

“You’re right.” Taking a couple cautious steps toward Jake you said, “let Mandy go. Me and you, we need to be alone. Talk.”

The phone rang again. “Answer it,” he directed. “On speaker.”

Slowly you reached for the phone. “This is Detective Y/L/N.”

“This is Lieutenant Benson. Is Jake able to talk?” she asked.

“He’s here, Liv.” You nodded at Jake.

“Hello?” he said.

“I want to thank you for letting Tori go. What can we do for you?”

Jake looked to you. “It’s okay. Liv is a good person. She’ll help you,” you insisted.

“Nothing you can give me,” he said.

“How about you let Mandy go? We’ll help you get out safe,” she offered.

“I can stay with him. He doesn’t want to be alone,” you said. You could hear Nick in the background swearing and saying no way. Liv covered the speaker to block Nick. Once he had either calmed down or moved away she came back on the phone.

“Can you do that? Can you let Mandy go and Y/N can stay?” Liv asked.

Jake furrowed his brow. The hand holding the gun clenched around the handle and released. He was contemplating his choices. Jake nodded quickly.

You let out breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Liv? Mandy is on her way.”

“Great. That’s great, Jake. Thank you for working with us,” Liv said.

Mandy slowly slipped out of Jake’s arm. She cautiously walked to the door, her eyes flicking from you back to Jake. You heard the door the door open then click shut in short succession. Just you and Jake. Your mind raced with thoughts of how you were going to get out of this one. “Why don’t we sit?” you said.

Jake took a seat on the couch then gestured you to join him. “Tell me. This guy you’re with, do you work with him?”

“I do. Which was a bad decision right out of the block. I thought he may be different but…” you sighed. The things you were telling Jake were real feelings. Fin tried to talk you out of getting involved. But by the time he had found out you were in too deep with Nick. The scary part was you had fallen in love with Nick months ago.

“You love him?” he asked.

It wasn’t a question you had expected. “Yeah. Pretty sure he doesn’t feel the same. Unrequited love has to be one of the worst feelings in the world.”

A commotion at the door startled both you and Jake. Nick came busting through the door. Jake grabbed you and put the gun at your side. “Who the hell are you?” he screamed.

“Sargeant Amaro. Put the gun down, Jake!” Nick warned. He turned his eyes to you, clearly afraid. He mouthed “I’m sorry.”

“It’s you. Isn’t it? The one that has been playing Y/N,” Jake challenged.

“I’m not playing her. I love her,” Nick said softly. His eyes shifted to yours.

The next thing you knew Jake was on the floor holding his knee. The sniper finally had a clean shot. Nick rushed over and kicked the gun from Jake’s reach. ESU burst through the doors as Nick was cuffing him. Once he was taken out of the apartment by ESU it was just you and Nick.

Nick took your hand to lead you out the door. “Let’s get you checked out by the EMT’s”

“I’m fine-”

Nick sighed then mumbled. “Can’t you ever do anything you’re told?”

“Now what fun would that be?” you joked.

Nick waited for you until you got the all clear from the paramedics. He put his arm around your shoulders as you walked to the car. “I want to talk about earlier when I said I love you-”

“It’s okay, Nick. I know you said it because there was a gun held on me,” you gave him a tight smile. “I get it. Going through a divorce-”

Nick stopped and grasped your shoulders. “I love you, Y/N,” Nick interrupted you this time. He didn’t give you time to say anything as he leaned over and kissed you. Like a reflex, his arms encircled your body and yours wrapped around his neck.

Cheers, claps, and whistling made the two of you stop and giggle. When you turned Liv was the first person you saw. She had her fingers between her lips eliciting a high pitched whistle.

“Bout time!” Fin called.

Sonny was clapping and smiling wide.

“I think we have everyone’s approval,” Nick said with a beaming smile.

“Seems so.” You put your hand on Nick’s chest. “ I love you too, Nick.” This time you stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss much to the delight of the audience.

#nick amaro #nick amaro x reader #law and order svu #detectives in love