#so they had to save their ass and actually deliver on what they had promised in interviews/on the internet/idk i didn't keep up too much

[btsugarush]

GANGSTA | myg - 004

summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.

pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader

warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.

word count: 3.5K

authors note: yes, it is here. it only took me 76 years lmao. y’all best give me all the love since y’all wanted to be on my ass about this mf. anyway, enjoy the drama. also this was prewritren with the tags a long time ago so if you no longer wanted to be tagged or if you’re new and wanted to be tagged i’m sorry. the taglist got full but i try to switch out who i tag every chapter.

“Now, are you sure you’re okay? I can personally file a report for you.” Mr. Kim asked for the 6th time. You roll your eyes, fed up with the badgering. You didn’t understand why he cared so much anyway. He was the one that refused to listen to you when you tried to explain why it wouldn’t be a great idea for you to deliver in Gongdan.

You didn’t go into detail about the assault, or even bother to mention Yoongi being the reason it didn’t escalate. You simply just stated to him that you were attacked and managed to slip free.

Luckily for you though, the old man’s guilt for the attack led him to giving you the rest of the day off and you snatched that offer up immediately. Not like he needed your assistance, seeing as the restaurant was practically dead with only about 4 customers. “I’m fine, Mr. Kim. I promise.” You assure him one last time. “Alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” You exit the shop, the door dinging as you do. You spot Mina’s car sitting in front of the restaurant, and she smiles cheerfully as you climb inside. “Hey. Thanks for picking me up so early.” You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. “No problem… But why am I picking you up so early? And…” she leans forward, peaking at your ripped shirt. “Why is your shirt ripped?”

You scratch your head, the thought of explaining the situation to Mina made your brain itch. “I had to deliver at the Devil’s playground again, and got attacked.” You kept it short and sweet. Mina’s eyes widened in shock. “What?! Was it that Yoongi guy again?!”

You shake your head. “It wasn’t him, it was this group of guys. Yoongi was actually the one that saved me…” you twiddle with your fingers as your mind wanders about the raven. Mina arches a brow at the gentleness in your voice. “He saved you?” You nod slowly in response. “My god, what does he expect from you now? Sexual favors?”

Of course Mina has to be the most dramatic and think the worst possible thought of everything. “No, he didn’t ask me for any favors. Which I guess is surprising for someone with his track record.” You admit, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Mina starts up the car, finally moving from the restaurant premises. “Please don’t tell me you’re buddy buddy with that thug now?”

You scoff, letting your eyes roll back. “Of course not! The guy is a criminal, and stalker. I’d never befriend him,” You argue, crossing your arms. Yoongi may have saved you, but you weren’t swayed by his heroic charm. “Anyway, enough about me and my shitty day, it’s too traumatic to talk about. Did you have a talk with Jin like I suggested?” You change the subject. Mina’s face drops at the mention of her boyfriend’s name. “Yeah, we talked for about 2 minutes before it all blew up. Now we’re not on speaking terms,” She sighs. “I think maybe I should break up with him…”

You frown. ‘There she goes being the most dramatic again…’

“Mina, don’t be so damn hasty all the time.” You try to reason with the blonde. “I’m not!” She defended herself. “I’m just tired, y/n. I’m tired of trying to figure him out. I’d rather break up with him before he breaks up with me.”

Mina had never been the girl to get her heart broken. In high school she was the one always doing the heart breaking, so you could tell that it genuinely killed her to love someone as much as she loved Jin, and not know where his head was at regarding their relationship. “I don’t know, Mina… I just know if I was in your shoes with Kookie, I’d try to work things out before I think of the worst possible outcome.”

Mina pouts, but she doesn’t continue to speak. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, you were right. She shouldn’t just jump the gun and break up with Jin. Although he was acting strangely and it was confusing the hell out of her. “You know… I’m jealous of your relationship with Kookie.” She suddenly blurts, causing you to turn to her with a raised brow. “Huh?”

“I’m jealous,” she repeats. “Of you and Jungkook.”

You tilt your head to the side, your eyebrows now scrunched in curiosity. “Why?”

Mina simply shrugs, sitting quietly for a couple of minutes before answering. “You two match, and have an unbeatable connection. You started off as best friends, which played in your favor. I met Jin in the hospital because he had a broken arm. We don’t have the history you and Jungkook have.”

You smile at the compliment towards your relationship, but quickly shake your head. “History isn’t everything. Some people marry their high school sweethearts and breakup. You and Seokjin just need to be mature– or you at least.” Mina whips her head in your direction, her brows furrowed. “What do you mean by ‘or you at least’?”

“I mean that sometimes you’re immature. You tend to freak out when things don’t go your way and storm off like a child.” Mina snarls. “I’m not immature.” She muttered to herself, practically proving your point. The car finally slows down in front of your apartment before coming to a complete stop. “Thanks for the ride again, Mina. I appreciate you.”

“Of course. I’m mature enough to pick up my best friend when she needs me.” She glares, your previous comment still not sitting well with her. You shake your head, paying no mind to her attitude. “Bye, Mina. I hope everything works out with Jin.” You pushed open the car door, climbing out.

“Yeah, you and me both.” She mutters her last words before she waits for you to close the car door, speeding off into the distance with you standing there to watch. You let out a sigh, shrugging. What was the point of her asking for your advice if she was always going to dislike what you had to say?

You turn on your heels, walking up the steps that lead to your building entrance. As you venture down the hall to your apartment, you spot a shaggy haired man placing a bouquet of flowers right in front of your front door. A smile forms your face as you see the one person you longed to see after such a horrendous experience. “Kookie?”

The brunette jumps slightly, your sudden appearance catching him off guard. Once he registers that it’s you, he smiles as well. “Well shit, I wanted to surprise you with something sweet when you got off. Guess that’s a fail.” He scratches the back of his neck, chuckling. You shake your head, instantly embracing him with a hug. “It’s not a fail. I’m so happy to see you.” Even though you pretty much talked on the phone with Jungkook everyday, it felt like you hadn’t seen him in weeks.

Jungkook’s tattooed arms wrap around your waist, returning your gentle embrace. “I’m happy to see you too, angel. What’re you doing home so early though? I thought you weren’t off till 8:00?”

You bit down on your bottom lip. You wanted to start crying right there just thinking about what almost happened to you today. You hadn’t told him about your trip to Gongdan yesterday because you didn’t want him to worry, but now you felt as though he deserved to know this time. “I got attacked today.” You take a step back, showing him your torn shirt. Jungkook looks down, dumbfounded at how he hadn’t clocked your ripped shirt when you first walked in.

“By who?!” He shouts. “If it was Yoongi and his gang I swear to god–”

You shush Jungkook, looking around to make sure none of your neighbors were in the hallway eavesdropping. “Let’s talk about this inside, okay?” The brunette is pissed, but he nods, awaiting for you to open your apartment door. He grabs the flowers from the floor as you dig through your purse for your key. ‘I really need to get a keychain for this thing," you thought, finally finding the piece of metal in your bag.

You open the door, and Jungkook wastes no time storming in. He places the flowers on your kitchen table, pulling out a chair for you to sit and explain yourself. Even though he was angry he still focused on your wellbeing. You close the door, unsure if you really wanted to recite the situation. Too late to change your mind now though.

You shuffle to the seat that Jungkook pulled out for you, plopping down. “So? Was it Yoongi’s doing?”

How do you even begin to explain all of this? Yes, but not really? While Yoongi was the reason you ended up in Gongdan, he isn’t the one that attacked you. But he has taken a weird interest in you ever since the Makoto showdown between you and his trusty stooge. If you told Jungkook that though, he'd just spend every moment trying to protect you and probably do something unnecessary to get himself hurt. You didn’t want that.

So, maybe it was best to embellish the truth a bit and leave Yoongi out of it.

“I had a delivery in Gongdan today. Jimin was out sick, and I was the only one that could deliver it. A group of guys attacked me on my way back to the restaurant.” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. “You had a delivery at the devil’s playground and you took it? What the hell were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that I had to do my job. I had no choice, Kookie. Mr. Kim wasn’t letting me out of it. Believe me, I tried.” The brunette scoffed, redirecting his anger to Mr. Kim. “I should go down there and kick that old man’s ass,” He muttered. Jungkook was never too fond of Mr. Kim. He thought the old man could be a bit misogynistic.

“Did they hurt you?” His voice is now more tender. You shook your head. “No. I’m fine,” You assure him. “The only thing that got hurt is my precious shirt.” You laugh a bit, trying to lighten the mood. “Did they just let you go? How’d you get free?” He pressed on.

“Umm…” you trail off, your thoughts once again wandering to the raven haired man.

“So Wonder Woman, you ready to accept that ride today?”

“They got scared off by someone that happened to be walking by. Lucky me, huh?”

Jungkook sighs smoothly, crouching down in front of your chair. He takes your hands in his, interlocking your fingers. “I’m glad you’re okay, y/n. I hate to know you experienced that and I wasn’t there.” He frowns, leering down at your hands. “Jungkook, you’re not gonna be able to be there for everything, and that’s okay. You’re here now, when I need you the most.”

Jungkook looks up at you. “And I’ll stay here.”

“Please remind me to stop letting you pick out movies. You always pick the cheesiest ones.” Jungkook grimaced as you two reached the end of your movie. You wiped stray tears from your eyes, glaring over at your soon-to-be boyfriend. “The Princess Diaries is a classic. I love it.” Jungkook snorts, shaking his head. “Yeah, well next time I’m picking the movie. Your selection sucks.”

You gasp, taking a pillow from the other end of the couch. “Take that back.” You cock the pillow, ready to deliver a blow. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry… that you’re ass at picking movies.” You swing the pillow down on him, and his hands go up in self defense as he laughs, his back landing on the couch cushions to better protect his face. You take this advantage to straddle the brunette’s waist, continuing your attack until he ultimately surrenders. “Okay, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You finally toss the pillow back down to the end of the couch, a victory smirk plastered on your face. “I knew you’d see it my way.”

“Hard not to when I’m being attacked by a pillow.” He looks up at you, still straddling his waist. Jungkook’s hands slowly roam up your legs, stopping to grip your hips. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Your cheeks heated up with the compliment, and you felt a sudden wave of warmth between your legs that made you anxious. This was it. There was no better time than this to lose your virginity to Jungkook.

You lean forward, pressing your lips to his pierced ones, the metal was cold against you; Jungkook didn’t hold back, or hesitate the moment your lips were against his. Your mouths moved in sync, but sloppily at the same time as though you both wanted it real bad– and you did. Jungkook’s hands moved from your hips, reaching back to cup your ass in his hands, giving your cheeks a squeeze.

You moaned softly into his mouth, rolling your hips over the rough fabric of his jeans until you felt his cock harden underneath you. Jungkook made sure to assist you, his hands pressing you down harder against his confined length. Your panties were soaked, and your mind was in a daze. You were sure that you had dampened his jeans by now. “Fuck, Y/n…” he muttered in between kisses. “We have to stop before I can’t stop.”

“Then don’t stop, I want this.” You whine, rolling your hips faster. Jungkook moans, eyes squeezing shut. “Fuck, I can’t.” He grabs your hips, forcing you to stop. You take the hint, but you can’t help the pang in your chest. Was there something wrong with you? You didn’t get it. What was he waiting for? You climb off of him, taking your place back on the couch.

It’s silent as Jungkook sits up on the couch, running his fingers through his hair. “Y/n…”

“Save it,” You cut him short. “You don’t want to have sex with me, I get it.” Jungkook shakes his head. “That’s not true. I do.” He argued. You scoff, rolling your eyes. “So then what’s the problem? I’m always practically giving signals that I’m ready and you’re holding back. You have never done that with any girl you’ve dated before me.”

“You’re not any girl I’ve dated before you.”

“Right, I’m y/n, the girl that’s been your best friend for years and the truth is that’s probably all you see me as.” Jungkook says nothing, he doesn’t even bother to argue because that’s just something he hates doing with you. “I uh… I should go.”

“Then go.” You snapped. Jungkook nods, standing up from the couch. As he walks to the front door, he looks back at you. You don’t look his way, you just continue to stare forward. “You’re not any girl I’ve dated before you.” He repeats; those are his final words before he opens the door and leaves.

Your eyes brim with tears as you finally turn, looking towards the table where Jungkook’s bouquet of flowers sat.

“Well well well, look who made a full recovery today.” You eye Jimin taking orders as you walk into Makoto. Jimin smiles at you, happy to see you in what felt like forever since you two worked together. “Y/n, it’s good to see you too.” He greets. You cross your arms, not in a greeting mood. “I have a bone to pick with you once you’re done here.” You say, walking back to the kitchen to clock in.

“Y/n, good afternoon. How are you feeling today?” Mr. Kim asks you as you grab an apron from the hook, tying the black fabric around your waist. “It’s a Monday, how am I supposed to be feeling?” You speak dreadfully. You barely got any sleep after what happened last night with Jungkook, and now you were at work. Jungkook hadn’t even called or texted you. Not that you wanted him to right now.

“Well, I meant everything that happened yesterday, how are you feeling today?” He reiterates. You grab a time card, swiping it through the clock. “I’m fine, Mr. Kim.” You walk past him, taking a notepad and pen from the cup holder. Jimin walks back into the kitchen, his face suddenly pale like he was ready to puke. Maybe he was sick.

“Hey, um, there’s someone out there at table three that’s requesting for you to take their order.” He says, scratching the back of his neck. You raise a skeptical brow. ‘Requesting me? Could it be Jungkook?’ You thought. Maybe he wanted to talk in person instead of over the phone. You didn’t see why he couldn’t have waited until your shift was over and come to your apartment, but you didn’t argue with the gesture.

“Okay…?” You walk out of the kitchen towards the dining area. As you scope out table three, you don’t see Jungkook, but in fact, Yoongi, Joon, and two other guys you don’t know. That’s why Jimin looked so sickly. You shake your head, sauntering over to their table. “What’re you doing here? Was yesterday not enough?” You snap at Yoongi.

“Nice to see you too,” the raven laughs, leaning back in his chair. “Yesterday is the reason I’m here in person, sweetheart. Wouldn’t want you getting your pretty self into any more trouble in my hood.” He smirked. “You remember my boy Joon, don’t you?”

“Wonder Woman, it’s good to see you again.” You glare at Joon, rolling your eyes. You didn’t have time for this. Yoongi was the last person you cared to see right now, and you definitely never wanted to see Nam-joon again. “So are you here to order something or are you here to be the bane of my existence?”

“Depends… are you on the menu?” He bites his bottom lip, looking you up and down. Joon, and Yoongi’s other two minions snicker and you’ve decided you’ve had enough of this pig fest. “Okay, goodbye.” You turn to head back to the kitchen, but Yoongi stops you by grabbing your wrist. “I’m just joking around, sweetheart. I’m here to ask you something.” You pull your wrist from his grip, turning back to face him. “Ask me what?”

“Well, I’m having this kickback at my place tonight. I want you to slide through.” You scrunch your eyebrows together in confusion. “What on earth would make you think I’d dare to step foot into Gongdan again? And what makes you think I’d go to your shifty ass warehouse?”

“Well, I just thought after my heroism the other day you would want to thank me more properly.” You scoffed. Mina was right. He was expecting some kind of sexual favor from you. “I knew it. You only helped because you thought you could use me later on. I should’ve expected that from someone like you.” You leave their table, making your way back towards the kitchen, but this time Yoongi stands up from his seat to follow you.

“Princess,” He stops you again, his hand grazing your waist, but he doesn’t fully touch you in a manner that came across as though he was trying to respect your boundaries–for once. He steps in front of you, blocking your way to the kitchen. “It’s not like that. I helped you because I wanted to.”

“Is that so? Because it truly didn’t seem like it just a second ago.” You snarled, crossing your arms. The raven makes a “tsk” sound before continuing on. “Sweetheart, if that’s all I wanted from you then I would’ve made you give it to me right there in the alleyway. Regardless of what happened,” His face was stone cold serious. He meant that. You stood silent, not knowing what to say next.

“Listen… sometimes I have these kickbacks, and they’re a vibe, but it would be better if I saw your pretty face there.” His voice is soft, so soft that you didn’t think someone like Yoongi could produce such a tone. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to take a bus through Gongdan at night.”

“So don’t. I’ll pick you up.”

You sigh, slowly feeling yourself ready to cave in and you didn’t know why. You literally could not stand this man. He was a stalker for fuck sakes. A criminal. And yet… here you were ready to accept his invitation because of one good gesture, and a sudden softness to his voice. Yoongi’s eyes search for yours until they lock, a smile forming his face. For a moment as you're looking into the raven’s eyes you begin to question is he really the monster he makes people believe? Or is that all for looks?

“Hey, can we get the check please?” A customer calls out. Your eyes snap away from Yoongi’s. You had almost forgotten you were at work. “Look, I have to get back to work. I’ll… I’ll let you know.” You take your notepad, writing down your phone number. As you rip the paper from the pad, you actually begin to question your sanity. You hand the paper to Yoongi, his lips tilting in a sly smirk as he takes it.

“I look forward to hearing from you, princess.”

Taglist

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#min yoongi #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x y/n #min yoongi fanfic #bts min yoongi #min yoongi x you #min yoongi smut #suga min yoongi #yoongi min #yoongi x y/n #bts yoongi #suga x you #yoongi smut #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #min suga #bts suga #suga x y/n #suga fanfic #suga x reader #suga smut #suga fic #agust d x reader #agust d #agustd #mafia yoongi #mafia bts #bts x reader #bts x female reader #bts smut

[sweetnsour1]

10:53:01

Fluff, Bakugou x fem reader

Part 1 of 2

“You’re kidding.”  

“Why would I be kidding?” His tone had shifted. You could hear his brows and eyes furrowing at the strangled laugh you had shakily exhaled. 

“How did you find out?” He had to be fucking with you. 

“Um, the mission briefing...like usual?”  

“What?” Shit, so he wasn’t fucking with you. You blinked away tears of frustration already threatening to leak into your voice. Stupid. 

“Huh?”  

“So, you’re really leaving?”  

“Have to, beautiful.”  

“But...” 

“Yea, I know. I’ll miss you too.” His tone was getting softer with every awkward response you choked out. 

“No, I mean...” You let the words trail off. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d forgotten the meaning behind this quickly approaching date. Your brain couldn’t even craft a way to bring it up without whining. You couldn’t do it. “Just be safe, okay?” 

“The hell do ya think I am? I’m always safe.” 

“Safer than your version of safe, please.” Your tone was firm as it delivered the familiar words, a ritual every time he left for a mission.

The memory of the first time you’d made the request came to you easily. He was in the doorway of your office, backing out, bumping his wide shoulders into the frame as he failed to smoothly exit. Red spread across the skin directly below his mask. You had thought you had overstepped, maybe he was upset that you questioned his performance. Your head had tiled to the side in confusion when instead he only said, “Yes, ma’am.” He landed a smack against the head of the blonde hero snickering behind him as he walked off, mumbling something about shutting up.  

“Mmm.” You smiled. Maybe he was thinking of that day too.  

“‘Mmm’ isn’t a promise.” 

“I’ll be back before Saturday. Promise.” 

“Back with all the parts you left with.” 

“Ya gonna’ love me less if I don’t?” His words were obviously being spoken through a smile now, or a smirk more likely. 

“Depends on what you lose.” A part of you melts at the chuckle let loose in your ear.  

“Bullshit.” 

“Mhmm.” You’re quick to agree but want to hear him laugh again. “If you come back hurt, I’ll just kick your ass for not listening to me.” 

‘What if I come back without an ass?” His laugh is cut short as you hear a familiar voice inform him how that would be highly unlikely to count as coming back safe. The tone on the other end gets harsher as he tells the man with him to mind his damn business. You roll your eyes at the familiar sounds of bickering bubbling between the two heroes. You pull Katsuki’s attention back to you as you catch the sound of Deku’s mediating attempts only pacifying Todoroki.  

“Don’t you have a flight to catch?” 

“Yea.” You quirk an eyebrow at the leftover hostility worming its way into his conversation with you. He hears it too, coughing back to a gentler version before he continues. “I’ll see you Saturday, beautiful.” 

“See you Saturday.” Your words fall forward in a mumble towards the screen already reminding you that you’d ended the call. Fuck. Fuck. 

“Fuck.” 

You rolled your head forward; thankful it was still early enough in the day to start making all the calls you’d need to. You did a few of those dumb square breaths that your therapist swore by. It was annoying that it helped. A feline reminiscent stretch was the only other action you took before opening the most frequently used document saved on your phone. The twinge of regret at the sight of the bright orange header was promptly shoved aside as you began scrolling down to the vendors’ contact info. By the third call, you had quite a script ready to go as soon as someone picked up: Hello, sorry to bother you right before closing. I actually have you guys booked for the event tomorrow night. There’s been a change of plans and I would like you to deliver the (whatever they were in charge of) to (whatever organization could use it) as a donation instead of delivering anything to the venue. After that, it was always a short confirmation of details before you dialed the next number on the list.  

The biggest loss was the venue...no, that was wrong. The biggest loss was not being able to get Bakugou’s birthday right AGAIN. You really weren’t sure anymore if the blame was with you or the universe or maybe Bakugou was a villain whose only agenda was to thwart your birthday attempts. Well, you were pretty sure it was you, but it was way past ridiculous at this point. His birthday had been a disaster or disaster adjacent every year since you’d started dating.  

There was the first one where you got flustered when he had the audacity to go for the first kiss, getting you flustered enough to drop his gift, a very not waterproof limited edition and vintage All Might card, off the bridge and into the river. The next involved a mistake where you accidentally had Kirishima drop him off at the wrong address...not realizing there were two locations for the restaurant you two had your first date at. The one after, you ended up hospitalized for just a few days, missing his birthday completely because your dumb ass didn’t wake up in time. Although he technically had spent it with you, you just weren’t conscious. You both had work the one after that, so not really your fault on that one. But you did forget his present at the office and so ended up giving it to him the day after, so that part was your fault. 

He was always annoyingly understanding about the trouble you ended up causing on the one day every year that you wanted to be the least troublesome. He would just laugh it off, thanking you for an unforgettable day. He’d call you cute or sweet or a menace. He’d say his birthday wasn’t anything to stress about.  

His words would be so much easier to accept if he didn’t seem to feel differently when it came to your birthday. He never gave a gift late or damaged or less than perfect. He never messed up the date or time or location. He never forgot any part of his plans or goals for the day. It was always irritatingly more than what you would’ve imagined or expected. Not that birthdays were a contest, but...if they were, you were fucking losing badly.  

You slid your phone further across the counter after your last call. This was supposed to be the year you got it right. You’d even enlisted a dangerous amount of help for a surprise party: Kirishima to keep Bakugou from finding out, the head assistant at their agency to get the scheduling information just right, Mina was charged with the guest list, Kaminari and Sero were assigned the entertainment (with final approval from you after a near x-rated disaster). You even had Midoriya help you decide on a present.  

Everything was finally going to be perfect. You were so determined. You had even stupidly begun to feel safe in your victory. The party was supposed to be tomorrow. And now, he wouldn’t be back for nine days. Fuck. Fuck.  

“Fuck.” 

You pawed at your phone again, sending a quick text to Mina so she could notify the guests of the cancellation. You were already exhausted from the last half hour of calls and just wanted to crawl into the bed that was now dumber and colder and emptier than it was supposed to be. Before burrowing, you sent “code yellow” to the One Brain Cell group chat, following the ridiculous list of emergency code phrases made up by Kaminari. You didn’t think you’d end up using them, but here you were.  

You then finally set your phone aside for real, pretending to set the urge to sulk along with it. This was part of the job. He was needed and that was a priority...helping people should come first (and it always did). Even if a selfish part of you, that seemed to get louder every time he was called away, wanted nothing more than to convince him to stay. The man you were in love with wouldn’t just give up his purpose or his morals like that. Not even for you. It was admirable. As a hero, you loved and respected that. As his girlfriend, it made you feel more jealous and selfish than you would ever admit.  

You would just have to not suck next year.  

Inspired by the request sent in by @mentallyablaze-writes

Masterlist

Part 2 coming soon

#Bakugou #Bakugou fluff #Bakugou x reader #pro hero bakugou #Bakugou imagines #bnha #bnha fluff #bnha Bakugou #bakugou katsuki #fluff

[neverchecking]

TotK Link

Okay, I know not everyone has played Tears of the Kingdom, nevertheless finished (I know I haven't), but I just have brainrot that I need to spread.

And I now have the platform to do so >:)

So, of course, Spoilers under the cut!

CW: Yandere, TotK spoilers!

・❥・So, this can go two ways. One, TotK Link is Wild who was taken mid-adventure with the other Links. Or, two, this is an entirely different Link, kind of like Calamity (AoC Link-- there are some great headcanons about him -> Here! Go check them out they are so, so good.).

・❥・I like both ideas! But, let's talk about the second option.

・❥・So, imagine, the chain and Reader are coming through a portal to this new Hyrule. Or, well, they think it's new. It's oddly reminiscent of Wild's Hyrule only...bigger. There are islands in the sky, holes covered in what appears to be malice in the ground. People are more abundant, there are towers standing, glowing a welcoming red rather than the golden towers in Wild's Hyrule.

・❥・It's so different, but yet so familiar.

・❥・Now, it's evident that this Link is a little more...Feral. Look at his hair and tell me otherwise, you can't. This man had won. He had won, gotten his victory over the Calamity and was supposed to have the rest of his life to settle down. But he didn't. It was ripped away from him once more. Not only that, but he was thrown back to square one. Gloom now riddled his veins making him feel like he was newborn fawn stumbling out of the Shrine once more. So he's probably livid. Angry with Hylia and fate, and Ganon and and and-

・❥・He has no patience left to offer.

・❥・Zelda was supposed to have unlocked her sealing powers, no? And she did nothing. Actually, that's a lie. She used them to save herself. He was left dying again and she saved herself. After he destroyed the Master Sword, the only thing that made him anyone, protecting her. Destroyed his arm. Destroyed himself. And she saved herself. Rauru had to protect him. Had to save his life before Zelda did.

・❥・So, yeah, he's a little less...companionable. He had to save someone who wouldn't give two shits about him again. He thought they had improved their relationship, but he guesses not. Betrayal runs deep in his gut, igniting a fiery inferno that burns on spite.

・❥・And the worst part about it? Everyone around him is praising that damned Princess. For the bare minimum. Showing them a recipe, building a school that should've been there years ago, hell, even just having a horse got her praise out the ass.

・❥・He was tired of it.

・❥・People stay out of his way a lot more. He wears a look that promises some form of harm should someone cross him, and he's more than willing to deliver. Because now, it's not just the one land of Hyrule. Now he has to deal with the Sky Islands and the Zonai creations. Now he has to deal with the depths and all of those creatures which just bring back the gloom he dispels. And he's so over it.

・❥・Now, picture if you will, Reader falling through the portal, separated from the chain, scared and alone. Reader thinking they're in Wild's Hyrule, but his doesn't quite look like this, does it? Reader thinking that, hey, at least they're hidden and in a forest, only Oh Sweet Goddess Above-- THE TREES ARE MOVING-

・❥・Reader doesn't know what to do because THE TREES ARE COMING AFTER THEM, they were forbidden from having a weapon (Because why would they be separated ever? They were there to protect their sweet reader? why would they need to burden themselves with a weapon when the Links could fight for their honor?), and THE TREES WERE ATTACKING THEM-

・❥・But, here comes their knight in shining armor- or some sort of blue tunic. Honestly, the tunic was styling if we're being honest; the open back and split sides along the hips? (Iykyk)

・❥・The trees are taken care of easily and the blond is turning to look at reader.

・❥・Reader just knows. "...I'm gonna guess your name is Link?"

・❥・And while on the outside, all he gives is a simple nod, it's anything but simple. You, this gorgeous being that he just so happened upon, recognized him. It seemed that without Zelda parading him about like some show dog for all of Hyrule, people didn't know who he was. but you? You did? You knew who he was? And the way you were staring at him was like you knew what he had done. The sacrifices he had given. And you were thankful and appreciative. Which was all he asked for.

・❥・You then thank him (You THANKED him) for saving your life and explain that you had been separated from your group. (Group? You had a group? And they just...let you out of their sight?) He offers to help you look for them and you eagerly accept.

・❥・Now, he latches onto you pretty quickly. Your already used to all the Link-isms so he isn't much different. The silence, the constantly guarded exterior, your used to all of it. And it just convinces him further that you're perfect for him.

・❥・Eventually the rest of the chain do pop up. But this Link isn't convinced their safe, after all, Ganon could make puppets out of everyone. Whose to say their not puppets or Yiga? It's better to stay with him, can't you see that?

・❥・The chain obviously have a different opinion on the matter, Legend all but Demanding you back. Hyrule and Four try to placate this Link, while Wild, Wind and even Twilight are trying to think of way of just scooping you up and running. Sky and Warriors are trying to barter with this Link (What does he want? Fairies? Potions? Money? They could have it all should he just give you back). Time is the only one to recognize that this is still a Link. He still wants what's best for you. That doesn't mean he trusts him.

・❥・If Fierce Deity and First are int he group at this point, they too are probably either trying to manipulate explain to this Link that they are in fact your aforementioned group or are just barely holding onto the shred of sanity left thats stopping them from simply doing away with this obstacle.

・❥・But this Link, like all Links, is stubborn. Not just a regular stubborn either. He has learned the hard way that if he wants something, he's going to have to fucking cling to it to keep it. And he's not losing you. Eventually they explain the situation after a bit of your pestering and he loosens up, just the slightest, to take in their words. That doesn't mean he lets go though. Oh no, he just lets them meander closer without threatening a flame throwing at them.

・❥・He's sort of indifferent to Wild, I would think, since they're kind of the same person. He was just dealt the shittier hand.

・❥・When asked where Zelda is, he simply points up (Maybe her name is Natura? Idk, I'm uncreative). He does not elaborate. They don't ask him to.

・❥・Now, it's obvious you have just claimed this Link. He's yours. Sorry not sorry. It's just a matter of taking him with you. He's insistent on not leaving your side. The Demon King isn't actually doing anything, other than unleash monsters the people of his land are already familiar with. This is obviously a new threat and he's a Link isn't he?

・❥・In terms of names? Maybe he's the hero of the Zonai because Tears of the Kingdom doesn't really give us much to work with. Maybe they call him both Zonai and Sage. I like Sage, so I'm going with that.

・❥・The way he fights is fast and brutal, delivering hits that dissipate his enemies own mobility before delivering a fatal last hit. He's a unit of a man, probably like Twilight, if not a little smaller. (Have you seen the shit he has to lug around? Mans is built.) Same height as Wild though, just more built.

・❥・As for the type of Yandere he is? He's on you. Constantly. He is hovering over you because anything and everything can be ripped away from him in an instant, as Hylia as so helpfully shown. He is making sure nothing gets the chance to get closer to you. And he's using his new abilities to do so. Wild is probably interested in the abilities and the arm and the tech, since his Hyrule, after Sage's, is the most technologically advanced.

・❥・He's inspecting your food, checking your person every time you disappear out of his sight for a second, snarling at people who attempt to talk to you.

・❥・The group have to keep him in check like an untrained puppy.

・❥・Oh, but how he laps up the attention Reader bestows upon him. He is such a cuddle hog and he knows it, smirking smugly at the others while you hold him close because oh how his arm hurts so badly, didn't you know? Oh, how the gloom has him feeling absolutely rotten, please can he just lay with you for a while? Just until he settles back once more? Pretty please?

Anyway, those are my thoughts for now, feel free to add your own!

#linked universe #linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe #yandere linked universe x reader #legend of zelda #linkeduniverse #loz #Lu x reader #yandere legend of zelda #yandere legend of zelda x reader #legend of zelda totk #tears of the kingdom #tears of the kindom spoilers #But imagine him! #He would be so loving #because he knows what its like to lose everything #and he remembers it all #just wanna give him kithes

[amindofonesowne]

Aaron Hotchner getting his first ever Valentines day gift from r 🥹 he's taken aback, because he's not used to getting things and being loved so openly

Lovely request anon, thank you for sending this one in and sending you all the Valentine's kisses 💗 enjoy!

You’re both running late for work; Aaron is fastening his tie, getting his cufflinks on, while you’re smoothing out your skirt and putting on your courthouse shoes. You grab your briefcase, lipstick and perfume, nearly tripping over each other as your paths cross.

Thankfully, Aaron is there to catch you; one hand on your back and another on your ass, as he hums appreciatively at the way your skirt leaves a very flattering impression in the mirror. 

“You’ll be late if you don’t let go,” you warn, practically ready to sprint towards the car. 

Aaron doesn’t seem to be bothered at the prospect anymore, eyes cast downwards towards your white shirt—also tight and rather delicate. 

At this, you remember that you had something you wanted to give him. 

“Actually,” you say, reaching into your bag and handing him a small, velvet blue box. “I have an early gift for you.”

Aaron takes it in his hand, suddenly confused. “You never told me you were bad at remembering birthdays.”

You laugh at his snarky reply, playfully tugging on his tie. “No, silly. I know exactly when your birthday is and I know when I owe my boyfriend a Valentine’s Day gift. I know it’s not until tomorrow, but my murder senses are tingling and something tells me you’ll be flying off somewhere far away on a new case tonight.”

Aaron doesn’t respond, stares at the box some more and you realise that he might be nervous about what it is. 

“You can open it now, if you want? Or tomorrow, it’s your choice, baby.”

“I have a gift scheduled to be delivered to you tomorrow,” Aaron finally responds and looks back at you with soft eyes. There’s something else, there, too—a warm, almost moved, expression of disbelief. “I wasn’t expecting you to get me anything.”

“What do you mean, you weren’t expecting me to get you anything? It’s Valentine’s Day and you are my gorgeous boyfriend.”

“Yes, well, I’ve… never really been in a relationship where I’ve gotten a Valentine’s Day gift before.” It’s a frank admission, which makes your heart hurt a little. You try not to linger on the subject, giving him an encouraging smile instead.

“Well, then I think you should open it now so I can be a part of this extra special moment with you.”

He smiles to himself, opens the box and is left speechless for a few seconds. “I… baby, where did you get this?”

“Oh, there’s this watchmaker I know that restores these beautiful vintage watches, but they like adding their own little twists to the restored pieces. The leather strap is all new, but the gold case is kept from the original. Do you like it? I thought you needed something a bit more lowkey, but still you, for our vacation days.”

“I love it, really, thank you so much. You want to go on vacation?” Aaron’s eyes sparkle a little at the suggestion. You haven’t yet discussed this topic before, but things are getting serious and something tells you Aaron is very, very down for the idea.

“Let’s save that conversation for date night, because we have gone from almost late, to very late. I love you,” you drag him in for a kiss, nipping and murmuring sweet promises for later, stretching it out for a few luxurious moments before the rest of the day starts.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fluff #criminal minds #fanfiction #fics #requests #asks #anon

[alieinthemorning]

Sorry if this goes against the rules (dark nature but idk if this counts) but like, can u write about Leona feeling especially depressed and not being able to even get out of bed, then the reader-insert comes to wake him up (on behalf of Ruggie) and then realised and comforts him? Like angst to comfort! But no rush and no worries if this request is declined! I'll just ask something else then!

Lean on Me [Leona Kingscholar]

Content: Depressed Leona Kingscholar, Blood and Injury, Literal Sleeping Together, Bathing/Washing, Hurt/Comfort, Strong Language

Pronouns: None

Continuation of: For Thee, Not for Me [Leona Kingscholar || Malleus Draconia]

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

He knew he should have just stayed in bed. Shouldered this shit on Ruggie (he was competent enough), and just not have been fucking bothered.

But he did, and it came with consequences (other than him leaving his bed).

He wasn't paying attention, too stuck in his own head to realize that one of the mutts had fucked up, and the damn disc was headed straight for his noggin.

Shit was flying fast enough that it knocked him clear on his ass. It hurt like hell, the pain in the side of his head and his back, but shit—he'd rather be on the fucking ground than possibly bleeding to death than standing and acting like he wasn't on the fucking cliff's edge.

But then there you were (of course you were), kneeling beside him as you assessed the damages. You gently brushed the sticky brown locks away from the wound, wincing at what you saw. You caught your bottom lip between your teeth as you silent contemplated something.

He opened his mouth, ready to stop you from doing something stupid (that stupid thing being saving his life).

But it was too late.

“Worry not, there’s nothing for you to abide by. Leave all your worries to me. For Me, Not Thee.”

And then he was sitting up with just left with a dull headache,

and your unconscious body that fell into his lap.

You'd been asleep for a week now. Vita told him that it was a combination of a White Cold and Rapid Blot Accumulation. She told him that it wasn't his fault, that you were well aware of the consequences of overusing your Signature Spell.

Epel did bother hiding his glare. He was pissed, and rightfully so. He may have looked up to him, but he considered you as family. And here he was sitting at your bedside, as if he had the fucking right.

But regardless of Epel's silent furry, he remained there.

But he knew that wasn't it.

"You fucked up." Ruggie had told him one day as he had delivered his lunch. He didn't tell him to do, but his reasoning had to do with you.

"If you don't feed you, and I don't feed you, guess who's gonna be pissed."

When he asked Ruggie to watch you, he never expected for him to actually befriend you. He even stopped taking the money he had been paying him, calling it dirty money. He shrugged it off, less money out of his pocket.

"You better start learning how to grovel, Prince." Title, no name. "Or else someone else will force you on your knees.

If he had been paying attention to his surroundings, you wouldn't have been laying here. If he had been paying attention to you, he would have realized that you weren't fit to even be at practice that day (because he knows that you'd fight him tooth and nail to heal whoever was hurt).

Zigvolt had given him a good right hook when he appeared in the infirmary. Silver was there as well, he could have stopped him, but he didn't (and he didn't blame him).

"You'd best pray to any and all gods that will listen, Kingscholar." His eyes flashed with something dangerous—a promise. "May my lord forgive me for what I will do to you."

Hell, he should have just stayed in bed and wallowed like a fucking coward.

Draconia appeared late at night before Vita officially kicked him out. He simply looked over your sleeping form with a pitiful look on his face.

That didn't wash away when his eerie Fae gaze found his own muted chartreuse one.

But he didn't, and now you were the one paying the price.

"Oi, Vita." A chair scraping against tile.

Two muffled voices, a door softly shutting, and a sigh.

You give yourself a few more minutes to accumulate to your current setting before slowly opening your eyes.

"Was that Leona, Vita?"

The one frowned as she looked at you over her heart-shaped glasses. "That's really the first thing you ask me?"

You give a dismissive hum, "...I suppose so."

"You are such a—yes, that was him."

"Okay." And then you closed your eyes again.

Close to a week later is when you were discharged, and allowed to return to classes. And that's exactly what you didn't do. Instead, you went on the prowl for a hiding lion. However, you were surprised to find that he wasn't at any of his usual spots, but instead decaying away in his room.  

The blinds were fully drawn, shielding him from the sunlight that attempt to penetrate. His room was more a mess than usual, as if he had torn through it himself in a fit of rage, before fizzling out and finding his final resting place.

You pursed your lips, that's probably exactly what he did. Oh well, that didn't really matter, so instead of worrying about that, you set about to clean the room.  You heard him shuffle on the bed a bit, but disregarded him until you were finished.

And when you were, you faced him. "..."

"..."

If he wasn't ready to talk, then that was fine. You eyed his body for any external injuries. There didn't seem like there were any, so you turned heel, heading for his en suite bathroom.

"Oi..." It was soft and weak, like he wasn't really addressing you, but just saying it in general confusion. You ignored him in favor of fulling his tub with water and oils (just the way he liked it).

When you were done, you simply gestured to the bath, not waiting to hear any sort of answer because you were already pulling the sheets off the bed before he could protest. So he followed your silent directions and entered the bathroom (leaving the door unlocked).

You made quick work of his bed, then got himself a fresh set of clothes as well as yourself (you knew how he was about outside clothes).

You knocked on the door. "Can I come in?"

"...yeah."

He was fully submerged, a layer of bubbles covering what needed to be covered.

"Can I wash your hair?"

Despite his lips twisting into a frown, he nodded. You knew why. Of course you did. He felt guilty for what happened to you. And yes, maybe, he did have some responsibility for what happened—you also shared in that. You knew that you were getting close to blot, you also knew good and well that taking on Leona's injury would push you over the edge (not to the point of blotting, but damn near close).

But you still took it on, and you'd do it again.

Then hours later, after slipping in and out of dreams, you heard him whisper against your chest.

"Thank you."

"Of course, you can always lean on me, you know." You smiled, setting a kiss on the crown of his head.

"Since I am your healer, after all."

I ended combining these two because I wanted to use this title for the depression piece, but couldn't because I didn't know what else to name the For Thee, Not for Me Continuation. 

SO! I after having a "WAIT FUCK I CAN WORK WITH THIS!" moment, I decided to combine them!

Ko-Fi | Commission | Masterlist

#alie requests #alie requester: anon #alie requested: AO3: SadgeCamp #leona kingscholar x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader

[xplrvibes]

some people on twitter are getting really mad at colby for apparently ‘ditching’ shea for his new girl saying shit like oh he led shea on and now he’s pushed her away lol

they’re fully acting like he’s committed an awful crime like why are they cancelling him 😭

(side note - i’m actually, whole heartedly convinced that half of the fandom genuinely hates colby and everything he does fills them with rage lmfao)

This is going to be a one and done, on this topic. I don't like Shea, don't like what she's doing. Never did like her, as you all know, because she has been an absolutely awful and manipulative bully and generally trash person over the years and I don't want her taking up too much space on my blog because of it.

But I felt the need to just put this out there before I move on, so here we go, behind a cut for anyone who doesn't want to hear it lol.

You know, I find this whole "taking Shea on her word all of a sudden" thing interesting.

According to Shea, they had a 10 year (even though he was still living in Kansas 10 years ago) "on-again, off-again thing" that was "mostly just talking" and was "never official," although it was "almost dating, but not official" for 2 years (even though there hasn't been a 2 year period where Colby hasn't been at least seeing someone, if not hooking up).

She doesn't seem to know any of his friends and not a single one of them follow her on socials - in fact, most of them unfollowed her several years back. Of particular note is the fact that Sam, after all these years of her being Colby's future wife, still hasn't followed her back...but has followed several of the other girls Colby's been linked to over the years, including M.

She never seems to have a clue about what is going on in his life and has been promising (and not delivering) fans content with Colby for years now - including her telling everyone that her and Colby were going somewhere to film a documentary in January of this year when Colby had already told everyone on xplrclub that he and Sam were going to be in Vegas or in Texas filming in all of Jan and then in Australia for most of Feb. She promised to have him on one her streams on a day when he was actually in Hawaii, then another day when he was actually in Kansas visiting family.

She hasn't been invited to a single party or group gathering of theirs since 2019, save for one time when she visited Colby and Sam in Las Vegas - which came across as very awkward, given the above.

She complained about never getting invited to snc's Halloween parties - you know, the ones that have 500-1,000 invitees and snc have claimed include an invite to every single person they know and are friends with? Yet Colby's soul mate gets left on the list somehow, 6 years running?? (One year he had four different past flings there at once. But the future Mrs. Shea Brock just didn't make the cut somehow)

Oh, bonus: she once told a gc full of her fans that Colby asked her out, but she turned him down because she valued the friendship too much. Funny how those turns tabled.

Colby meanwhile, has never hidden that he considers himself single, does not think he's met "the one," uses Raya to find dates, hooks up and has flings....he's not just pretending to be single, he IS single.

So. to recap: They have had a 10 year friendship and emotional bond that Shea deluded herself into thinking was more. Colby comes around her again after having had a cancer that could've easily rendered him unable to have children, and her grand idea is to tell this guy she freely admits she was never even dating that she wants to cash in on some vague promise he may or may not have actually made to her about getting married and having CHILDREN???

I'd have left her ass, too.

But sure. He's the bad guy. By the way, to hear Shea tell it, Colby did the same thing to her that Sam did to Kat. But all the people trashing Colby were the first ones in line to defend Sam from big bad mean Kat and her hurtful words because "he wasn't ready" and wah wah wah. Isn't that funny...and on par.

So yes, lol. Most of the people pissed about this are using any excuse put in front of them to trash Colby cause that is the only enjoyment they get out of life. Trust me when I say they are backing the wrong horse with Shea. She's not the hero victim y/n sainted good girl she pretends to be.

#asks #and now I'm done with her and the trolls of the other corners of the internet thanks!

[ultraericthered]

Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (really Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey Take 2, For Real This Time!), AKA Where The Bloody Honey Was THIS Last Year???

I’ve not seen this yet but I, as sincere and dedicated a fan of Winnie The Pooh as you’ll ever find, made it no secret how much I loathed last year’s so-called Pooh horror flick (which I did not even actually watch and never will), thinking it an abomination purely because it didn’t have the stones or the vision to actually go all in with what it promised and instead gave us random ass generic slashers in bad rubber Pooh and Pig masks killing screaming girls and tormenting a useless “Christopher Robin” and his fiancé, with a Pooh-related backstory tacked on at the beginning and then never followed through on with what the movie actually delivered on screen. Had the film embraced the absurd camp horror in the very concept of the Hundred Acre Wood gang as feral predators, I’d have respected it. I’m far from alone in thinking this too: the film won the Worst Picture Razzie award for 2023 for a reason. It was garbage in its purest form.

So then this “sequel”, which I was not anticipating and was feeling I’d rather ignore, comes out and actually gives us exactly that! Like, what the Hell? This movie isn’t just doing what its predecessor ought to have been all about doing from the get-go, it even does what the 2022 Grinch-themed holiday slasher The Mean One failed at as well! It improves on what came before through two things: being competently made in all areas (like, it actually has a significant budget this time around), and actually taking some real twisted joy and fun in its reimagining of Milne lore and what can be done with that. Suddenly, Christopher Robin is a major player in the story and a psychologically distraught man played by a different, better actor. Pooh and Piglet now actually resemble mutant animal people instead of human killers in masks and they’re properly motivated in their killing. Tigger appears as a very Freddy Krueger-esque murderous maniac who puts his “bouncy” style of killing to great use. And good lord, Owl is a badass, terrifying menace who really makes the horror of the story work while still not losing his own morbid humor. And that throwaway backstory from before? Thrown away! In its place is a much stronger one that serves as perhaps the darkest possible medium answer to the age old “so are they real sentient critters or stuffed animals that Christopher only imagines are real?” question. And how it manages to get away with all this is perhaps the one area of pure genius that the film has got. Tellingly, the screenplay was written by an actual script writer this time rather than the hack director, and both this writer and the producer came up with the remedy for the disaster that was the first film: its events did not truly occur in this universe. In-universe, what was turned out last year was a cheap, low budget, schlocky horror film based on the real Christopher Robin’s account of a massacre he’d survived out in the woods, with that film lazily misrepresenting what had actually happened and what he’d actually experienced when it did. By having the first Blood and Honey exist as exactly the godawful film that it is within this new cinematic universe, Blood and Honey 2 is giving us permission to pass on watching it and disregard it entirely, as it’s just a bastardization of the true story that actually matters to films starting with this one. You could not ask for a better saving throw than that!

Its core area of weakness, however, is the story itself and how it’s managed in terms of the film’s pace and tone. Maybe this would’ve played better if this had been what we got in early 2023, but since it instead has come after last year’s Five Nights At Freddy’s film adaptation, the similarities become impossible not to notice, complete with our main protagonist being haunted by childhood trauma and playing this dead straight even while off on the side there are absurd looking animals slaughtering people in ridiculous ways and being very tongue-in-cheek about it. It’s like the writer envisioned a plot to a serious horror/thriller film but applied it to this gleefully dumb, schlocky B movie horror campfest based on a beloved child-friendly property, and these things just don’t go together very well.

All things considered, this is a mediocre indie horror film based on famed A.A Milne stories and characters that revels in its own mediocrity and the gross, senseless, nonsensical novelty of its premise…and in being so, is a HUGE glow up from the first attempt at it, which was a complete nothing of a film offering nothing of value to any human being who could ever have the misfortune of watching it. This one at the very least delivers on what it promises to be and does so with far more confidence, competence, sincere passion and amusement than its predecessor. If we end up getting more Pooh horror films like this, I’d not mind giving them a look, though I doubt there’s anything they could do that’d really wow me or anyth…….

This is the start of a cinematic “Poohniverse” that will go full Avengers in crossing the films over? Okaaaay, that’s interes……

Heffalumps and Woozles confirmed for B&H3?!??!

#Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 #opinion #criticism #review #horror #surprisingly improved sequel #discontinuity

[masthya]

I only know taylor swift as someone who sucks ass at writing lyrics, what are the banger lyrics im missing??

lmao i totally get that. I think it will always be a bit of a personal preference thing, just like some ppl love some writing styles which others cant stand, same with lyrics.

I personally love the lyric writing that tells a good story i can see in my head, and the song creates an atmosphere which you can touch and even smell. I think Taylor's strength is in her storytelling, which shines through especially in folklore and evermore. I personally love "seven" ("Please picture me/In the weeds/Before I learned civility/I used to scream ferociously"), august ("To live for the hope of it all/Cancel plans just in case you'd call"), peace ("Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?"), "illicit affairs" ("Leave the perfume on the shelf/That you picked out just for him/So you leave no trace behind/Like you don't even exist"), "champagne problems" ("Sometimes you just don't know the answer/'Til someone's on their knees and asks you"), "cowboy like me" ("Perched in the dark/Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear/Like it could be love/I could be the way forward/Only if they pay for it"), "'tis the damn season" ("We could call it even/You could call me babe for the weekend/'Tis the damn season, write this down/I'm stayin' at my parents' house/And the road not taken looks real good now"), "ivy" ("Oh, goddamn/My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand/Taking mine, but it's been promised to another/Oh, I can't/Stop you putting roots in my dreamland/My house of stone, your ivy grows/And now I'm covered in you").

Now every album she releases has its misses and its hits. I don't love "Lover" that much bc it's a bit too happy poppy for me, though the song "Lover" itself tells a very palpable feeling. Other songs I like are "All Too Well" ("And you call me up again just to break me like a promise/So casually cruel in the name of being honest"), "Dear John" ("Long were the nights when/My days once revolved around you/Counting my footsteps/Praying the floor won't fall through again"), "Back to December" ("It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you/Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine"), "The Story of Us" ("I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how/I never heard silence quite this loud"), "Clean" ("Ten months sober, I must admit/Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it"), "Begin Again" ("And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid/I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did"), "Don't Blame Me" ("Don't blame me, love made me crazy/If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right/Lord, save me, my drug is my baby/I'll be usin' for the rest of my life"), "Delicate" ("We can't make any promises/Now can we, babe?/But you can make me a drink").

Now many people have been dissing the latest album's cringey lyrics for a while, and while I hate them too (god the vigilante one is such a skip its unreal), i actually like some songs with cringey lyrics. "Anti-hero" really grew on me bc it's Taylor self-analising and talking about how she is her own worst critic, which is something we all experience, and I think she made it in a fun self-deprecating way in the song that still delivers the message. other songs in the album which i love and dont have those kinds of cringe lines are "you're on your own, kid" ("'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned/Everything you lose is a step you take"), "Lavander Haze" ("The only kind of girl they see (only kind of girl they see)/Is a one-night or a wife"), "High Infidelity" ("Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?/Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?"), "Would've, Could've, Should've" ("If I was some paint, did it splatter/On a promising grown man?/And if I was a child, did it matter/If you got to wash your hands?") (tbh I love all the lyrics in this song it's my fave atm).

Sorry for the long post! I really feel like Taylor's best lyrics are hidden away in her albums many times, but I do get how she gets called a good lyricist, because she is good at telling stories in them. I believe many people look at her stuff from a biased perspective most of the time bc of the way the media has portrayed her in part, and also bc she got a lot of hate from misogynists when she was young and it stayed around as mindless hate/disregard. She isnt the greatest ever but she's earned her reputation as a lyricist imo.

#my asks

[beepbananabus]

SORRY I GOT SO STUCK UP ON THE FACT THAT WILBUR JUST GOT FUCKING INTRODUCED IN THE FIC THAT I FORGOT TO ANALYZE IT. HOLD ON.

OH. OH HOMEBOY IS FUCKIN G YEARNNINGGGG..... OHHHUGHFHH....

HE PROMISED TO WRITE TO HIM. HE GAVE HIM STAMPS!!! which also is an impressive thing (not the stamps) but the fact alone that wilbur would've been a criminal, and yet dan wanted him to write letters TO him, which would require wilbur handing it to someone so that they could deliver it to dan, WHICH HE DID!!! he DID send letters but apparently stopped two years ago

which begs the question of why and while yes it is entirely possible that wilbur just stopped. i, personally, don't believe so! and I'm willing to be wrong for this because i love overanalyzing the shit out of EVERYTHING. anyways so

obvs these two had some sort of thing going on and it was sudden enough for dan to grow bitter over the fact that he hadn't been sent letters in a while, which creates two theories.

someone fucked with the postal service

2. wilbur got killed or kidnapped, either by the government or the rival gang, which if he's planning to be saved or avenged, might provide dan with motivation, but what that motivation is going to be aimed towards is yet to be decided. the most common form of this kind of storyline is either this is going to lead to a betrayal, where dan is initially pro brian and nogla, maybe even the rest of the gang (evan, jon, tyler etc.) then the "other side" (government, rival gang) contacts him, tells him abt wilbur, and it's just enough to get him to do something that will eventually fuck the rest of the group over. OR. the reverse happens where dan is pro government, then it gets revealed that wilbur got fucked over by something unjust that the government did, and he's like "actually. yeah. that sucks ass I'm joining you guys"

#bob reads 5r6c

[styxnbones]

(g-c) 🌎🤝 for danny, 🖤 for apollo, 🧛‍♀️ for kellen, 💉 for cass

Danny: 🌎 Do they try to retain any part of their humanity? 

Yeah! Danny actually has a whopping 8 humanity, despite being some six years dead. Mostly, they just try to be the same kind and friendly person they were before. He does his best to feed in a way he finds ethical (essentially providing some temporary relief to those already a step away from the great hereafter), and not get into any fights. But, he also got pretty lucky with starting out under an attentive sire in a relatively sleepy city, so they haven't had any serious tests of their commitment to humanity yet.

🤝 What is their relationship with their sire like?

Pretty good, all things considered. Very teacher-student. Their personalities don't exactly gel- Katie is very by the books about most things and doesn't really appreciate his sense of humor or style- but they've made it work so far. There's also more than a little resentment from Danny for the way she views this as her having "saved his life" when as far as he can see all she "saved" him from was student loans.

Apollo: 🖤 How do they feel about being turned? (How did they adjust? Do they feel differently now than they did when they were first turned?)

At first is was shock, and the adjustment period was definitely rough- since his sire promptly abandoned him he ended up internalizing some wack shit about what this whole situation was. After that, she saw it as a divine ordeal, but since his little dirt nap the reality of this being like a curse Curse is slowly seeping in.

Kellen: 🧛‍♀️ Do they have any preference regarding who they feed on/how they feed?

I'm evil and decided to give Kel the Bond Junkie+Blood Leech combo, so yeah, feeding is kind of a big deal for them. Currently, they have an arrangement with their mawla, Bernadette, to feed (and consequently be bound) exclusively with her. B is also their employer, so they basically have a daily meeting scheduled (which Kel privately thinks of as a "dinner date") to catch up on what's being done that night and make sure Kel doesn't starve. Typically it's just the two of them in Bernadette's office, though sometimes her last meal is still slumped in the corner recovering (which Kel honestly hates, but would never dream of saying anything about), and Kel will kneel to accept her wrist and then desperately try to pay attention to whatever it is she's decided to talk about while they eat. if they're lucky she might play with their hair but then they're sure to miss anything being said

Cass: 💉 Have they sired anyone? If so - why, how and did they claim their childe?

Cass has both threatened and promised to turn a number of people, but has never delivered and probably never will. They know exactly how much of a pain in the ass they were as a fledgling, and though they doubt anyone could possibly cause as much of a problem for them as they did to Astrid, they still don't really see the point in all that work for basically no benefit. Like, you can blood bond people without making them immortal first- there really isn't any advantage to the sire for embracing someone that is worth the ordeal that is being responsible for a childe.

#cass oc #kellen oc #danny oc #apollo/leora oc #Kellen “lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship” Merot #ty for the ask im gonna shoot u some for ever in a sec

[whatwouldvalerydo]

The party🎆

Happy Halloween everyone.

I can't believe that October is over however we can't say goodbye to it without the last scene for this small WIP.

Characters mentioned here belong to : @flareshogwarts @kc-and-co @lifeofkaze @the-al-chemist

With only a few hours of sleep, Scarlett was ready to actually strangle someone, but she kept reminding herself of the end goal. Party, have fun, save students from another fucking boring party where professors made them dance a foot apart. What even was that? 1980s? Such a joke.

A joke Scarlett didn’t want to take part in any longer. They were adults. They had the right to have their own parties, get closer to someone, drink, oh my lord, especially drink. Have fun and she was certain the majority needed to get their sticks out of their asses and actually enjoy themselves.

As she delivered the promised costume to a Slytherin girl she joined the rest in the Great Hall for breakfast, the first thing she went for being a huge mug of coffee that she absolutely devoured. On the last sip before another refill, she listened to everyone on what they still had to do, however a small smile revealed itself as she learned they all delivered the costumes Phil promised to the students “That’s good, finally some fucking good news, all we need now is to get the party ready.”

“Scarlett Tempest!” her eyes widened upon recognizing Phil’s voice.

“Impossible, the potion should have kept him knocked out until noon. I swear he doesn’t have blood anymore but energy drinks running through his veins.”

She peaked from behind Saffron, seeing him marching over “What have you done? Where are my costumes? How could you steal Halloween?”

Rolling her eyes, she rested her chin on her hand “You’re being dramatic, it’s just a stupid holiday.”

Phil stopped in his tracks, mouth swinging open “Stupid? Stupid?! You have unleashed my rath. Agility +10, mana – infinite.” He sprinted towards her table, Scarlett getting up and running to the end of the Great Hall.

“Cut it out, you can’t outrun me, I can last longer.”

“You have never seen me like this. Tell me what you did Scarlett.” Lunging for her, she evaded, running towards the exit.

“Maybe you should have increased your stamina instead you nerd. Fuck you Baker!”

Walking past them professor Willows shook his head “5 points from Slytherin and no running in the hall mister Baker.”

“Screw this!” Scarlett shook her fist at the professor thus earning another five points being deducted.

Getting up from their table, Lachlan and Jonathan ran to catch up to Phil who was already running out of breath “Now, now, come on mate, I’m certain she will come around.” Jonathan said, urging for Dylan to join them, him shaking his head as he pointed to his breakfast, bent on ignoring them.

Taking hold of Phil’s arm, Lachlan prevented him from running away “Come on, let’s get something to eat and come up with a plan ok?”

Basically dragging Phil to where Dylan was sitting, they witnessed him losing it “She… I can’t believe it. The betrayal! Halloween? Really? I don’t know what to do. What should I do?”

Dylan scoffed as he pushed a bowl towards him “How about you calm down and eat something? You can’t undo what she did. It’s Scarlett.”

Phil nodded, running a hand through his hair, looking at another table where he could have sworn he had seen Dana and Saffron but suddenly they were nowhere in sight. Breathing out a heavy sigh, he finally decided to have a bit of coffee to at least properly wake up “She drugged me, she unlocked a level I never knew she could.” The boys shared a concerned look as he continued to ramble, Jonathan in the end deciding to spare him the grief.

“Alright, alright, look, we have an idea for a costume and need a fourth member. So will you help us please, we’re a bit lost.”

Thankfully, that was enough to get him to join, well, that and the promise that they would come up with an epic plan to take down Scarlett and make her pay for her treachery. But when Phil saw that the costume was a Chinese dragon, he didn’t know what to actually think. Dylan looked at it also confused as Lachlan whispered something to him as he constantly shook his head “No, no, we’ll get in trouble.”

“No we won’t, no one will know.”

“Know what?” Phil asked, Jonathan from behind him making some weird hand signals.

Sighing Dylan stepped in “That we ran out of orange paint.”

“Oh. Well we can mix red and yellow for that. But…no…well actually” Phil perked up “this is perfect. We can scare Scarlett, she won’t know we are in this costume. Perfect.” He mentioned rubbing his hands together, going to search in Jonathan’s paint supply for the perfect brush.

By the time it was almost time to meet up in order to discuss plans for the party, the boys have been unfortunately still locked up in a room, finishing up the costume, most of them checking the clock and getting increasingly worried. Lachlan still had to get the ice, Jonathan needed to help Scarlett carry everything to the party site and Dylan was in charge of getting the decorations from people alongside Dana and setting everything up.

But distracting Phil apparently wasn’t as easy as they believed, he was adamant on sticking around, complaining about Scarlett. Glancing at everyone Jonathan spoke up “Well it looks perfect from where I’m standing.”

Feeling the last bit of patience leaving him, Dylan looked at the massive costume “We are four people going inside one costume. Have you actually thought this through?”

Smiling, Jonathan raised his brows “Well since Scarlett stole the costumes you know we are going with it as a last minute decision, but we need to go like this: tallest is first.”

Lifting his head from his corner of the room, Phil stopped grumbling something upon hearing her name again “What? I am the tallest but I can't carry around the head. I don’t know what you actually put in it that’s so heavy.” Turning his eyes towards Dylan, he lifted his hands up in frustration.

“Don't look at me, look at them. Who's stronger out of you two?”

Sharing a look between themselves, Lachlan and Jonathan did a one over of each other, the latter quickly speaking up “Lachlan is.”

Getting up, Phil nodded along with the decision “Perfect, who goes next?”

Rolling his eyes Dylan scoffed “This is going to be a long night. Fine, I go next. Jonathan after me, Phil you take the tail since it’s the least heavy. All good?”

“Yes, also don’t forget, everyone needs white t-shirts.” Jonathan added.

Sniffing his nose, Phil huffed “What sort of Halloween is this?”

“Mate, trust me, it’s going to be fine. You need to relax and trust us. We’ll have fun.” Looking at the clock again, they all jumped when their door swung open, Dorian walking inside the room.

“I saw Scarlett going into the kitchens with the costumes, I think she plans on disposing of them.” The next second Phil sprinting past him. Turning to look at the nasty looks everyone gave him, he just shrug his shoulders “We’re late, everyone is waiting. So come on if you want a party tonight.”

A few hours later alongside some Wide eye potions and coffees, everything was set. The boys found a dejected Phil barely agreeing to go through with being the fourth member to their costume, right before the party in the Great Hall took place, but as far as they were concerned, everything was going according to plan.

Hiding under the dragon, they all marched inside the Great Hall, laughter and music surrounding them from every corner “I swear if we get in trouble.”

“All in good fun Dylan.” Lachlan spoke up.

Peaking from under the costume, Jonathan saw they passed the butterbeer table, the cloth lifting, a wand being pointed at their costume. A spell was chanted, candles going out in the Great Hall, drowning them in darkness as another spell levitated the heavy costumes off their shoulders. As Incendio was cast upon the dragon, fireworks erupted.

Dylan was yanked away from the boys by Dana as she guided him out of the hall while the commotion was taking place. Lachlan ran alongside Jonathan, the latter looking behind, witnessing Phil being dragged along by Scarlett who came out of hiding from under the table.

Hushed giggles and hurried footsteps evaded professors and they made their way to their own party alongside several other students who made a run for it.

“How long before they figure it out it was me?” Scarlett laughed looking at Saffron.

“Pretty sure professor Willows knows, but he can’t do anything about it tonight as there are still students over at the other party. Drink?”

“Sure, but first.” She pointed her wand to a table, levitating the box covering it to reveal colored powder “Non toxic, yada, yada, how you asked for it.”

As the crowd gathered to get a handful of powder and throw it at someone or in the air, Phil stood there with a surprised look on his face. Walking next to him, Dylan thew at him some red powder “Hey!”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Why did no one tell me? You had a party planned, I saw people wearing my costumes, how?”

Shaking his head, he offered a smile “Thank Scarlett and her crazy ideas.”

Jonathan whistled, signaling to the rest to drag a drink, Dorian lighting up the fire after concealing the area with spells.

Walking over to grab a drink, Phil jumped when Scarlett came up from behind him “Still mad?”

“No, stunned actually. Still sad that we don’t have costumes though.”

Rolling her eyes, she pointed at him, blowing some powder his way “We are all wearing a pattern, take it as it is. But we are also doing face paint so if you still want to work your magic.”

“Can I?”

Smiling, she nodded “Sure, that if you can convince Jonathan to give you some paint, but I’m pretty certain you can take it and he won’t even notice.” She pointed at him trying to actually concentrate on a design and failing since Lachlan was making faces at him while trying to help him drink at the same time “Yeah, anyway.” Looking around, she pulled him by the hand, concealing themselves behind a tree. Getting on her tippy toes, she placed a kiss against his lips “Happy Halloween Phil.”

#hpma #scarlett tempest #phil baker #saffron summers #danielle parkin #dylan amari #jonathan king #Lachlan Murray #Dorian Winger

[bugtransport]

bitches be like "cant stand plotlines about the power of desire, they make me feel too much" and then watch OOO and donbros. okay OOO was an uninformed accident and donbros is bonkers and theres no way i could have possibly figured out a single plot point that happened before i actually started the show but [we irritating pic] we suffering 😂😂😂 if it wasnt fucking clear by that intro: im bitches (these are my thoughts for today under the cut)

look i'm approximately 60 years old on the inside. you might think i'm cool and fresh and in my mid twenties but that's all a ruse. nothing makes me feel older than watching someone navigate a crush for the first time (if anyone is going to bring up hongo i don't... i don't actually know what i'll do but it'll be something and it'll be drastic. don't look at me, look away actually, we're talking about sonoi here. and shut up as well.)

i hate sonoi so fucking much he haunts me. what is wrong with him. i say this but also i know exactly what's wrong with him and it's that he's never had a crush before and is acting up. I HATE THINKING ABOUT IT OH FGUCKIGN its like he's at that stage where you like someone a lot and you just cant look at them. at all. or is that a me thing and im embarrassing myself publicly again. i swear this is a common occurrence-

he's at that stage where he's overthinking everything that happens with tarou. he's both convinced that he should not be around tarou because he doesn't want his feelings to get in the way of his mission or whatever but also he's sending tarou a proxy with a message from him? and getting upset when it's delivered wrong?? my man is out here listening to sononi go off about a completely unrelated couple and internalizes fucking all of it and this is the man you're trying to tell me doesn't understand art? look buddy i'm not about to go off on a tangent about what art is and what makes art good in my opinion (i will some other time. ask me about clothespin. i will go off.) but i'm pretty fucking sure an unrelated thing causing you to feel an emotion or think about a situation in a different way is like. that's definitely what goes on with art. what the fuck. can't stand his ass.

nobody in this show is the least bit self aware and i know that's fucking rich coming from me mr. "oh yeah no i'm just ignoring this thing about myself because i'm too busy right now and can't deal with it." at least i'm aware i'm a dipshit if nothing else?!

might switch tracks a little bit here but ive said it before with tarou... lemme just fucking slurp the tweets actually come to think of it ive half typed this up already and i can totally save myself some time

yeah there we go that's better. sorry this is yet again me talking about The Subjectivity of Truth. i bamboozled you! i drew you in with promises of gay people! but instead it's me! i'm the gay person. i'm the gay person and i'm talking about the subjectivity of truth again. look we'll get there again i swear there's a thread i'm following here you'll just have to humor me for a bit because...

main point: if you couldn't tell, i don't trust sonoi. i mean okay yeah no that comes off a little harsh; i don't trust any of the nouto in the same way, but it's not like. it's not personal. i don't trust anyone in this fucking show i think they're all incredibly biased and it's been shown many times that things that a character believes to be true just can straight up not be.

sorry, like: we have the goddamn crane juuto. we have the goddamn crane juuto whose whole fucking Deal is that it creates stories. and haruka. and like fuck me i suppose but i think that having two characters Explicitly there to tell stories is a little much for me to take anything anyone says at face value.

[total sidebar here: holy shit i loved seeing natsumiho and haruka interact in this ep. girlbosses but also haruka following her around for inspiration was really funny considering what she is. i have more i could say about this but now is not the time!!]

what we've seen of ideon so far (which, i mean, is not a lot, it's really not a fucking lot) but their world is very much designed to not lead to cultivating a population who desires. maybe this is a nature vs. nurture debate. do the nouto not desire because at their core they are unable to or at least somewhat immune to it or do they not desire because they haven't been shown desires to have. it seems quite strongly that they believe the former but that the reality is the latter. if nothing else they seem to all have the desire to learn more about humanity. do i think this will ever be touched on? FUCK no i don't expect anything. i like it though.

man idk. i really don't buy sonoi saying (back in the cafe when he was all fucked up and red no less) that the nouto are unable to turn into hitotsuki. i don't trust like that half because i don't trust sonoi further than i could throw the man but also because [here is the gay shit i promised earlier i told you we'd come back to it i would never tell a joke] i think watching him get corrupted by his own desire for tarou would make me feel 10 million emotions and absolutely shatter like i'm a prop glass and the universe just smashed me over someone's head. i think i would legitimately have to take a day off work if that were the case. i think that would rule and whip and fuck and every single other word that you can possibly think of. i think that would chop my balls off. i want that to happen so bad i cannot put it into words and it's sure as shit not for a lack of trying. i'm doing my absolute best here.

do i think this will happen? absolutely not lol i just like the concept. although come to think of it i know that the don clan created the juuto but did they ever say what they created them... from? would be fucked up if that's what happens when a nouto gets infected with desire. do i believe that's what actually happened? who knows... i just think it would be fun. i am allowed to think about the idea for no reason but i think it would be fun :)

sorry for going off about the subjectivity of truth again! actually i'm not sorry that was really fun for me <3 i feel relatively more normal now but ugmghhhhmh i cannot wait for sonoshi to show up uh i know i'm gonna be really normal about him and if he tears himself out of my hand and onto my open and waiting csp canvas like you're just gonna have to be cool about this. you're gonna have to understand. some bitch showing up to fuck things up in the 3rd quarter is what i NEED okay actually there's already quite a lot of fucking things up in the third quarter that's happening right here but new blood. new blood! new blood!! and he's red!

[exhales really deeply] okay cool i got that out of my system. i'm not looking to workshop any of these ideas unless idk, you really want to. don't feel like you need to respond to anything that i'm saying here. i'm just making spaghetti, brother. sometimes you need to sit in your brain and sort things out and make a big pot of spaghetti. that's all this is. this is me trying to put my thoughts into words which i want to train myself to be better at again, and if longform donbrothers posting is how i must do it, so be it. this is you looking into my mind if you care to do so and saying "damn, bitch, you live like this?" and it's true, i do. every single fucking day of my life i am plagued with the capacity to think. god bless

#making spaghetti #i dont know if this makes any sense i barely proofread it so just bear with me

[xmoriartea]

So after our last lovely scry of the evening, we learned a few things: Strahd was taking the merfolk and turning them, Rahadin was in full gear war mode, and Nadia had been taken and was already turning others in the lake.

We had work to do.

While most of us slept in the Tiny Hut inside the Inn, the artificers Kalina and Tanner got to work prepping everything we needed. Silver powder. Ruby dust. Some bombs. You know, average supplies. Leaving the clerics their requested supplies, Tanner and Kalina then went to meet with... the elves.

Kasimir is my cleric's least favorite person, but only because Alkali isn't counting Strahd and Rahadin as people. BUT Tanner rightly guessed, Kasimir and Patrina also wanted to see Rahadin suffer, and so he supplied them with spellbooks (since as "GUESTS" of Ravenloft, theirs were confiscated) to gain their assistance.

Patrina was fucking giddy and sprinted off with hers to prepare and I'm betting this girl never needed the promise of vampirism to be blood thirsty. Kasimir kinda just grimaced a lot and looked at his sister like 'something's going to burn down, okay, lets come to terms with it now.'

For the Record: Tanner, a whole ass day later, still hasn't told Alkali, because he has an INT of 20 and she has a SPITE of 30

On the way back to Kalina's place to pick up some other things, our vamp courier friend Lexx came streaking like a bat out of hell towards Tanner demanding to know what she just delivered to Strahd.

APPARENTLY Strahd DID NOT like Tanner's Very Thoughtful prosthetic gauntlet and DOES believe in killing the messenger.

Tanner apologized, explained, and watched a vampire get somehow more pale. He then told her she best get out of Vallaki asap cause it was about to become a No Go space for all undead, and he didn't want her hurt. Chased by vampires and werewolves, maybe, but not hurt.

And because he's an Artificer™, Tanner had been having ideas. Ideas about motes and running water around the town, connecting the water to the lake, etc. Tanner didn't have the time for this, but he knew two crotchety old women with specialties in moving parts and liquids.

Kalina's grandmother Ethel and the local alchemist Faraga fucking hate each other, but they're the best in their games around. Big "If she dies who the fuck do I harass?" energy with them. Tanner found a questionable temp youth potion from the Bonegrinders... and he was offering it to the victor.

So while the rest of us fool are dealing with vampires, these two horny and hateful old women were racing to invent plumbing out of sheer spite - you love to see it.

What you DON'T love to see is Tanner trotting over to the tannery where he left Strahd's fucking HAND to be turned into a GLOVE because he AND the lowercase-t tanner are both absolutely fucking haunted.

Thankfully, Alkali had already drained the hand of its blood for her own haunted uses.

Meanwhile, since all this shit was happening at like 5am, around 20 minutes to sunup, Alkali got to work. Planning to do the ritual downstairs in the inn, she had a word with Denica about using the floor space and was told she'd received post.

Alkali was handed a letter with achingly familiar handwriting, and sort of felt her stomach drop. A vistani man had dropped it off, but it was marked with post from the port where she was supposed meet her twin.

She had no idea how this letter got to her, what this possibly meant for her brother, and she really really hated to think on it. She had just held Mina through her grieving and now had to go save 1 of 2 mertwins she promised to protect — THIS was already too much sibling crisis without factoring in her own.

So she put the letter away, trusted her brother was Far Far Far Away from this, and actually got to work with Forbiddance. Now. Forbiddance is a damn good spell. But it's not Protect the Town good. Vallaki's pretty big.

But you gotta love a fish with faith huh?

Her casting of the spell at the heart of the town was amplified by the town's guarding Saint, a being Alkali once animated the bones of to also defend the town in new and exciting ways, leaving them in her debt. This spell rolled out like crashing waves to the walls of Vallaki and held.

Now the fun thing: all of Alkali's magic is wet. It's just how it be when you're an Umberlee bitch. So for the first time EVER, these landlocked, lake-fearing Barovians are all hearing the sounds of waves and ocean, like she just slapped seashells to all of their ears.

Now there was some unrest about that, and maybe we should have given Burgomaster Ismark a heads up, but eh. They're fine.

As long as you hear the sea in Vallaki, you're safe.

Back together again, the party split up once more with the majority going to find horses and Tanner and Alkali off to pay Lady Wachter a visit. Von Holtz had promised to send us a carriage to speak face to face, but we were on a time crunch. Fish to save. So. Horses.

Lady Wachter... we know she's fucky. We don't know her whole ass deal, but we know Things™ and we know she's pro-Strahd even if she sat on the Vallaki Council. So Tanner made it quite clear that she had a choice. She either heed our words and understand Vallaki (and thus herself) were in danger OR we eliminated her as one of those dangers. She was Not Pleased. But we promised her we could be more rewarding than Strahd if she swore herself to the town entirely.

Restoring her family seemed to be the incentive she needed (but never a knock a death threat).

That all set, off to the Von Holtz estate we went. Along the way we saw your fun and casual and totally new roadside grave, sensed some undead lurking in the woods, and just sort of rushed on by all of it because it's a Ride to the estate and this was only a bullet point on our to-do list.

We get there, we stated our business, and we were asked to wait. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. We joked that this motherfucker was taking so long we could have cast Forbiddance in here. For funsies.

Von Holtz arrived, said he didn't expect us so soon, and sat across from us. Now. We're quite the party with our NPC friends, six strong. And dear Kalina... is a newfound Paladin of Gond. The moment he walked in, she nudged Tanner under the table because her God Senses were tingling.

So not everyone knows, but things start to... feel off. Tanner runs the conversation, having been the one to strike the deal about trading some manner of protection to Holtz for the dragon skull in his study. And the rest of us start to... pay attention.

As the deal proceeds, Tanner moves to shake Von Holtz's hand, and holds out his left one, putting Holtz in a position to do the same. But Holtz strictly holds out his right. Because for as much as it SEEMS he has a left hand...

he doesn't anymore. We have that in a bag.

And the moment Tanner asks why he didn't like the gift, all the remaining pieces fit into place and we realize we're in a small room with Strahd.

It fell quickly into mayhem. We were not prepared for THIS encounter exactly, but we made do. He pulled some funhouse shit and melded into the walls, as these runes started flashing around the room and we realized we were locked in.

(Oh, and don't worry. The hellhound there is ours. His name is Bandit.)

We started busting down the door, we know we did some Good Startling hits to Strahd before he vanished, but the goal was to get out, get the skull, and Peace. We mostly all got out, he showed himself again, AGAIN tried to fish and bag Arabelle, but I twin Reaper cantrip'd him (thank you Death Domain) and the fish and the polymorph dropped.

Then we started wailing on him.

Maybe we don't run yet. Maybe... Maybe we see if we can mist him. Or—

A few of us dropped to 0 when the runes in the room went off, but Mass Cure Wounds is a very good scroll and they're back up. We got... wildly close to making him HURT, but he just phased into the wall and was gone again, so we move.

Fool just keeps underestimating us though. He had prepared to give us the skull. Had had it loaded onto our cart outside well before we realized what he was. So Tanner shrunk it, shoved it into the bag of holding, and we Booked It to the lake.

We short rested out there, everyone checking in on each other, and Tanner gave Kalina the protective ring he was going to give Holtz. Alkali squinted angrily at a boat out on the lake, but most importantly, we recovered so much HP. Oh my gods were we low.

And it's about this point that I, Kaitie, started to run through EVERY Fucking Encounter with Holtz and shriek a little now knowing he's Strahd. Lads. I said so much shit to his face with a smile and a courtesy and he couldn't do shit. I WINED AND DINED HIS BRIDES WHILE HE WATCHED. Bless.

But I'm also left thinking of the original 'deal' Von Holtz wanted to strike where we let Arabelle and Rowan stay at his estate for a time and how he PROMISED Strahd would never know and I just

BUT we still had to get in the lake and see the damage. No rest for the weary in Barovia, folks.

#barovian currents #curse of strahd #this was HALF of a session #JUST HALF #so much shit went down that note omfg

[kineticpenguin]

Larry Correia's fans love it when he "fisks" articles, blog posts etc. ("Fisking" is Larry's term for picking apart a post and making fun of it). So, now that he's had his brain fully melted by grifters like Jack Posobiec and Dinesh D'Souza, maybe he deserves a taste of his own medicine.

There’s a red wave coming because normal voters are fed up with democrat bullshit. They suck at governing and they cater to their base, which is psychotic.

There's this weird notion that Republicans and centrist Democrats have that the Dems lose elections every time they're not basically Diet Republicans. That the party has gone too far to the left courting the lunatic fringe. This doesn't really hold up if the last election was any indication; centrist dems actually lost seats compared to more leftist candidates. What's actually happening here is that the Democrats over-promised and under-performed, as they've done for the last 40 years. They don't lose elections because they're not far enough to the right. They lose because they don't deliver.

But the GOP has a history of being lame, cowardly, corrupt squishes, so our government keeps sucking. 

How do we fix it?

Right-wingers keep doing this thing where they vote for people who promise to bring the government down from the inside like Samson, are shocked to find that this only makes the government suck more, and conclude that the only reason we don't have a capitalist utopia is because these rich assholes don't have the balls to give themselves and their cronies even more money. Since they've repeated this cycle for the last 40 years, they just keep getting angrier and angrier that it hasn't paid off.

This is my opinion, based upon working as an accountant/contractor for the most efficient part of our stupid government, which was still a fucking clown show when compared to the corporate world (or at least the non-woke corporate world)

Larry likes to lean heavily on his experience as an accountant regardless of whether it has anything to do with the subject at hand. Y'know how there wasn't any actual evidence of election fraud? He made a bunch of posts talking about vague "red flags" in the election because... something something, he likes doing audits. Did you know he used to be an accountant?

A well known, yet denied, truth is that most government employees are entrenched and don’t do shit. They’re utterly useless. Depending on the department you could fire a ton of them and all it would do is free up parking spaces.

Now, there are some government employees who work their asses off. Good. There are some government functions which are necessary. Great.

A great many don’t work, or the work they do is utterly pointless.

Y'know, you say that, and yet every time an office or department downsizes, it tends to go to shit and they wind up having to pay contractors. See also: literally every military branch trying to save a few bucks by reducing their aircraft maintenance personnel.

As any honest gov employee. They will admit this to you in private. If they say no, everything we do is vital and everyone here is vital, they’re a liar protecting their budget, or one of the useless ones. Most places, if there are 5 employees, 2 do 90% of the work.

Source: No shit, there I was. Trust me, bro.

Pournell’s Iron Law says that as it grows over time any bureaucracy’s purpose will change from its original mission, to a new mission of protecting and growing the bureaucracy.

So now our Department of Labor by itself is bigger than LBJ’s entire federal government. This stuff never shrinks. It only grows. It’s an endless leviathan.

That is a weird comparison for a few reasons. First, it's plainly false unless you take the DoD out of the equation. The military was rapidly expanding during LBJ's administration to deal with that whole "Vietnam" thing. The Department of Labor currently has around 17,450 employees. Under LBJ, the USMC alone hit its peak of over 300,000. But if you throw out everything but "civilians employed by the executive branch" when you say "entire federal government," you can consider yourself technically correct, as 2,900 is quite a bit smaller than 17,450. That's some creative accounting, though.

Now I get that Larry is talking to an audience of knee-jerk "government getting bigger = government getting more badder" types that probably have Thin Blue Line punisher skull decals next to their Molon Labe ones, and they will absolutely eat this shit up without question, but still. Nice little truisms ignore the fact that bureaucracies can expand and contract over time depending on improvements in efficiency and the demands placed on it. Check out the Air Force since 1955.

Yeah yeah I know it's because the Democrats hate America and the GOP is too spineless to give us a strong military blah blah fuckin' blah. "Pournelle's Iron Law" still doesn't hold up. It's all a bunch of circular logic that nobody ever questions because It Is Known.

(And if you think military branches don't count as "bureaucracies" you have no business citing experience working with them.)

The leviathan needs to grow and protect itself against all threats, which is how you get super evil shit like the CIA and FBI meddling in US elections…

More circular logic with no basis in reality. The FBI is extremely conservative as an organization and treated both Clinton and Trump with kid gloves to avoid even the appearance of meddling in elections. The CIA waited until after Trump was President-elect to make up their minds whether the Russians were trying to help him or not. Before that it was "we know they're up to something, but we don't know what it is exactly."

Or constantly expanding its powers into new places, like the #MinistryOfTruth

If you're not familiar with Twitter, this is probably incomprehensible. There's a right-wing conspiracy theory that the Democrats are trying to take over social media under the guise of stopping misinformation. Right-wingers also have a complete victimhood mentality about their posts being moderated, believing that the people running those sites have it in for them. There is no evidence for this; every empirical study into Facebook and Twitter shows that right-wingers are typically allowed to post whatever the hell they like, with only the most egregious TOS violations resulting in suspensions, bans, etc. Anything that pisses off the old and middle-aged tends to drive up engagement and is thus good for the site's bottom line.

And that's when they're not just being cowards. Facebook deliberately lets Breitbart violate its policies just to keep people like you happy. But yeah, you're right, being given a time-out from shitposting is just like 1984.

This leviathan will find allies which help it expand in size and power. The more power/money you give it, the more it can bribe and co-opt other institutions. Academia, media, corporations, etc. 

Funny you should mention that, Larry. Most of the people you like to cite are propped up by billionaires like the Koch brothers and Peter Thiel. It's almost like the "leviathan" you should be worried out isn't the bureaucracy so much as the extremely wealthy guys with their arms up the ass of those puppets you live to listen to.

As the leviathan grows in power, it will become more malicious, spiteful, and controlling. Dissent is crushed. Freedom dies. 

@elonmusk  is currently a speed bump in this, which is why the control freak contingent is super pissed at him.

...Elon Musk tried to create his own "#ministryoftruth" called Pravduh, remember? You're talking about a guy who tried to get a kid's bot shut down for reporting on the movements of his private jet, which is publicly available information. He called a dude a pedophile for calling his stupid submarine idea stupid. He is not a free speech advocate. He's not remotely a "speed bump" for the censorious. He's just another stupid, rich asshole who wants to control the narrative.

The big question is, do the people own their government, or does the government own its people? If we are just assets of the gov, we can be spent freely, and bad assets get eliminated.

Look, either the government loves keeping useless people around, or it ruthlessly eliminates anyone not contributing to its goals. Make up your mind.

The leviathan is compelled to own EVERYTHING.

Again, I think you've misidentified your "leviathan."

Slowing the leviathan down isn’t enough. If you concentrate on stopping one part, others keep growing. Then when our bipolar country elects a new leader, those parts start growing again. Repeat forever. And it just keeps getting bigger. 

So we’ve got to shrink the whole thing

If the GOP had a brain/spine (lol) they’d slash the shit out of everything. They’d starve the beast. They usually don’t, because they are total chickenshits. They’ll pay lip service to this, do nothing, or feed their favorite parts. 

The DNC gleefully feeds the whole thing.

This is how you know you've given up describing anything besides a The Blob. You don't need to think about anything besides a malevolent Something that consumes everything, and then... then that'd be real bad. Also, the idea that the GOP hates spending is nonsense. They hate taxes. They LOVE spending. Especially if it's on the military. But only for tanks the Army doesn’t want, not cost-of-living raises for the troops.

Trump’s biggest weakness was he surrounded himself with people who loved government, and loved expanding government. Of course all of those fucked him at every opportunity. 

HAH! He surrounded himself with nuts like Steve Bannon and oil barons like Rex Tillerson. And his own children. The only people standing in his way were trying to stop him from fucking up. It's why nobody lasted long: they either got caught doing crimes for him, or realized that being anything other than a yes-man was getting them frozen out.

We need somebody who actively HATES the government to run it.

We need a Lucy who's going to HOLD the football! Christ, how do you dipshits keep falling for this?

if I was President (ha!) I would only create a single new executive branch entity. The Department of Fuck Your Job Security.

The DoFYJS would consist of surly auditors, and their only job would be to go into other government agencies to figure out-

A. do you fuckers do anything worth a shit?

B. which of you fuckers actually get shit done? 

Then fire everyone else.

Someone's got fantasies of being Steve Jobs. (Supposedly, he'd ask random employees what they did for him. If they couldn't answer immediately to his satisfaction, he'd fire them on the spot. This was completely ineffective because most of the people they reported to actually used them and would immediately re-hire them.) Trying to do this only gets you surrounded by yes-men who know how to tell you what you want to hear. See also: Joseph Stalin.

Right now it is pretty much impossible to fire government employees. The process is asinine. It is so bad that the worst government employees, who nobody else can stand, don’t get fired. They get PROMOTED. It’s easier, and then its somebody else’s problem.

If you think that's bad, you should really be a Defund the Police guy. Federal desk jockeys have nothing on cops when it comes to being impossible to fire. And they generally make a lot more money!

But the DoFYJS don’t care. If your job is making tax payers fill out mandatory paperwork and then filing it somewhere nobody will ever read it? 

Fuck you. Gone. Clean out your desk.

That's not a government job so much as an Intuit and H&R Block job. It absolutely does not have to be this way and you don't need your fantasy Chekas to do it. All you have to do is reform how taxes work like a functional country. But that would go against the whole "taxes should hurt" concept, which conservatives love! Thanks, Reagan!

We need to get rid of entire agencies. Gone. WTF does the Department of Education improve? NOTHING. 

Gone. Fire them all. Sell the assets.

Ah, we're going the "everything was already figured out in the 1860s" route, I see.

Any agency that survives this purge, move it out of DC to an area more appropriate to its mission. Do we need a Dept of Agriculture? Okay. Go to Kansas.

This will also cause all the DC/NOVA power monger set to resign so I don’t have to waste time firing them

Yeah, let's gerrymander federal agencies and make it harder for them to coordinate with the president, there's no way that could backfire. Besides, I'm not sure you could bore an Iowan like Tom Vilsack away from the job by sending him to Kansas. And that guy tried to bore himself away from the job.

Oh, and right wing pet causes, you’re not safe. I worked for the Air Force. We all know that we could fire 1/3 of the GS employees tomorrow and the only noticeable difference would be more parking available on base.

The only reason the military has so many GS employees is that some penny-pinching genius already eliminated the positions normally held by enlisted personnel, only to find out later it actually needed the guys they RIF'd and had to hire them back on as more expensive WG, GS or contractors because otherwise readiness would be destroyed. The attempts at slimming down and privatizing military services has been a slow-motion catastrophe for awhile now. Don't build base housing, that's expensive. Oh wait, now we have to increase housing allowances to keep up with soaring rent, burglaries are driving everyone insane, off-base incidents go up, and gate traffic is a Lovecraftian nightmare. Oops.

The responsible thing to do would be stop over-missioning the military and reorient our strategies around less intervention, but that'd mean no longer being the World Police, and might get you assassinated by LockMart.

Cut everything. We never do, because somebody might cry. Too bad. They’re called budget cuts because they’re supposed to hurt. Not budget tickles. Fuck you. Cut.

Cute. Utter nonsense, but cute. Pain is a sign something is wrong. If your cuts actually hurt, you fucked up and are going to spend even more money fixing the damage later.

And yeah, we're at "Megamind arguing with Metroman" levels of tortured analogy here but this whole thing was stupid from the start.

Shutting off the money faucet will also destroy the unholy alliance between gov/media/academia/tech.

It absolutely will not. Media's gonna do whatever gets ad revenue, as they've always done. Academia's gonna do its own thing. By "tech" I assume you mean social media sites, since reducing manning will in no way stop the government from blowing billions on new toys. Oh, but we gotta keep the A-10 around. Right. Better order 2000 more replacement wings for 'em.

Anyway, you're still gonna see all the people with money trying to control everyone under them. They can absolutely do it without the government.

Right now there is a revolving door, government job, university job, corporate board, think tank, the same crowd who goes to the same parties and went to the same schools and all that other incestuous shit just take turns in the different chairs. 

Sell the fucking chairs.

See, that's the thing. Those people, the moment your auditors come after them, are either going to sue the shit out of your administration, or simply bring your auditors into the club. Hell, they probably wouldn't even be in a position to be one of those auditors if they weren't already in the club or club-adjacent. In any case, this is the part where your simpleminded strategy gets you so tied up in red tape and litigation that you look like the Michelin Man in a spider's web.

Every entity that gets tax money inevitably turns into a pig trough for these people. Cut it all off. All of these money faucets ALWAYS cause some kind of financial crisis later anyway.

Oh boy, you're really not gonna like how you could actually do that.

See the student loan crisis caused by the government, here is free money, oh college has become expensive and useless, so now we need more government to solve it. You dummies get to pay for it. Have some inflation.

Hey, you asked what the Department of Education is for? I mean, maybe you could use it to do something about that? Like, maybe end the giveaway to banks that the entire system is and fund higher education and trades through the government. But then, I dunno, that sounds kinda communist.

It’s all bullshit. 

Quit pretending any of this makes sense.

Oh, believe me, I'm not.

The only way the leviathan shrinks is we elect people who actively hate the government to the government, and then only let them stay there long enough to fuck the government without getting corrupted by it.

People who actively hate the government don't participate in government. It's simple as that. As long as you keep telling yourself that this is possible, you're going to keep electing liars who put on a big show about how government isn't the answer, cuts things you don't like, but ultimately contributes to the actual problems and makes us all worse off. They'll be sure to keep jingling keys in front of you about migrant caravans, and Dr. Seuss, and Mr. Potatohead, and how the green M&M isn't fuckable anymore, and critical race theory in schools. So you won't notice until they get replaced and you'll be mad that you've once again been fooled by your "spineless" candidate.

The instant you see the small government crusader you sent to DC going “Oh, well maybe an unholy alliance between the state and OmniGlobalMegaCorp to develop a mind control ray is a good thing” FIRE HIM.

That won't happen, because it means letting a Democrat take his place. You can see the opposite thing happening now with the Democrats and Sinema. Democrats are furious with her for not doing what she was elected to do, but the centrist refrain is, "and what, let one of those REPUBLICANS win? Then we'll lose the Senate!"

So there you have it. That’s my platform if you elect me president. Fire fucking everybody. And only give me one term. Thank you. 

Four years of President Lawsuit. Or at least until you get so sick of spinning your wheels, you get filmed smashing watermelons on the white house lawn with a tetsubo and your ticket-balancing veep invokes section 4 of the 25th amendment.

Oh wait… why did I just get these hot insider stock trading tips in my inbox from Blackrock? I guess a second term is cool.

See, that's the thing. You wouldn't even be a serious contender if you weren't already playing that game. Money is Speech, after all.

Seriously though, something has to break. We can’t afford the loss of money or more importantly, freedom. The government either has to start cutting off parasites and control freaks, or stuff is going to get way way worse. 

I dunno man. Try burning down a police precinct or something.

[thegospelofnagisa]

So any thoughts about “Why Rebellion made Madoka better?” By Hanlunn? (Sorry for bringing up this again)

It's ok, I did say I would watch it later when I was in a mood for a giant ass farting her pretentions ideas, and I have now.

It is what I expected, some person that projects her miserable life into Homura, using the same arguments people have been making for more than 10 fucking years. It's funny to me she compares this to A Silent Voice because A SIlent Voice has a very similar problem, unlike Rebellion though, A Silent Voice is a beautiful movie, UNTIL we try to redeem everyone else in the story, that is when it begins to fall apart and when Shouko tries to kill herself, that is where the movie takes a dive into the worst and most offensive movie I have ever seen (Even worst than Rebellion) and it never recovers, so I guess liking shitty anime movies is something Rebellion and Akuma Homura fans have in common (Perfecto Blue IS awesome though, that is the only one they mentioned I think it's truly a masterpiece).

The AI YO destroys Rebellion because it is completely unncesary, Homura could have stayed with Madoka forever in the Cycles and Madoka DID NOT WANT TO BE SAVED, SHE IS HAPPY DOING WHAT SHE IS DOING, so Homura is just preventing her to be useful, anyone who has watched the show and doesn't have a quarter of their brains removed can tell you that, trying to say otherwise is stupid. And EVEN if I were to agree with this, and I agreed the story had to continue, where is that continuation? It's been 12 years...where is it? What have they done? OH yeah, a shitty concept movie and a movie that is stuck in development hell by now....wow, I am glad we waited all this time for that, I actually feel sorry at this point for Rebellion fans, they have stockholm syndrome, they're too dumb to realize they're getting fucking scammed, when they could be watching Magia Record which DOES have interesting stories for Homura, being one of its best stories a Homura related one and it has fuck to do with Madoka, which is amazing, but they don't realize it because they're still waiting like morons for that magical continuation that people are starting to believe will NEVER come.

It's time to accept it people, Rebellion is a failure, not because of a box office performance, not because of the critic reception, it is a failure because it failed to deliver on what it promised, a continuation for good ol Hameru's journey, the sooner you accept it, the better, if you want to be like this person making the video hoping for a magical sequel to your favorite self insert doll Akemi Homura, do that, wait 3 more years, every one else? We just want to move on into projects that are actually much better like Magia Record or whatever else they have in mind.

[cosumimic]

i feel bad for will byers

i don’t even know how to use tumblr but. i realized recently that nothing good really happens to will the entire series. bro gets captured by the demogorgon - both in dnd and real life - gets trapped in the upside down which is basically hell with a giant flesh-eating monster constantly chasing him. gets rescued by his mom but not before a 10 ft snake ? vine? chokes him by literally entering his mouth. and yay hooray hes back but not before he gets possessed by the mind flayer after having several episodes. he now feels all pain that the hivemind feels and his brain is slowly getting taken over by the mind flayer. he had to feel the pain of genuinely being burnt alive. and then this poor little boy has to get it burnt out of him. and at this point he at least has to be spared right? NOPe all three of his friends get bitches and his gay ass just sits there watching his crush rant about a girl while hes just tryna play dnd w him like the old times. and then they fight in the rain! the RAIN. and after all that hes just. fucking sobbing because of everything he’s had to go thru (AS HE SHOULD!) and destroys castle byers , a place of comfort for him. and with all this are the constant fluttery tingling sensations he feels when the mind flayer is activated because guess what ITS STILL KIND OF IN HIM give this man a break. but nope he doesnt get breaks. he moves away from hawkins, away from all his friends. he promises mike he wont join another dnd party ig this promise was one-sided because next thing you know mikes joined the dnd club at his school! all good tho will gets to see mike when he visits during summer. oh but actually no, hes a third wheel their entire day out and mike seems to pay 0 attention to the guy. they then argue yet again about it and mike takes the blame off himself because hes in denial. so um i guess thats great. then his sister gets ARRESTED???????? and THE FBI INFILTRATE HIS HOUSE?????? but its fine he, mike, jonathan and some stoner he doesnt really know will go on a mission to rescue his sister. oh but its actually not fine cos this stupidass mike is just moping the entire time about his sister and will has to lie about his intricately made painting and deliver an entire monologue-confession under the disguise that they’re mike’s girlfriend’s feelings, not his. and hes crying the entire time but mike blind as fuck so he doesnt notice yet his brother in the driver’s seat DOES notice. and this guy will’s just sobbing in the backseat because mike over here will NEVER! requite his feelings. what’s even worse is that when they are able to rescue his sister, she has to risk her life to save all their other friends from certain death and during this he must encourage his crush to finally profess their undying love for another person in monologue form. and he does (although VERY half-assed and way less heartfelt then his past monologue for will himself), and will just has to bear through it because honestly who cares anymore? yeah so in conclusion will byers gay as fuck and his life also sucks and if i were him i’d probably wish the demogorgon reincarnated and took my life already

#will byers has no bitches #and hes gay