#so. i'd really just rather be excused

[bookwyrminspiration]

including proper citations where you're not "supposed" to is the funniest fucking thing in the world to me. i just sent an email to my instructor quoting and citing said instructor with a works cited section

#shitpost #it was me arguing that I shouldn't have to go to tutoring for this paper due tomorrow #it's part of the paper requirements but she said we could send an email arguing why we shouldn't have to #and MAN i hope she excuses me because #i was planning to write the whole thing this afternoon and tomorrow #and if I have to come back to campus. just to go visit tutoring for a few minor pointers #i'm going to be miffed #i asked her how many points i'd lose if I just didn't do it #and she was like...i don't know...I didn't think that far ahead...i didn't think anyone wouldn't do it since it's a requirement.... #like. love her but also. have you MET college students??? #we will skip things sometimes #anyway. she came up with a number and it's not...bad? but it's not great either #so. i'd really just rather be excused #this is what I get for writing my essays last minute. alas #i always do pretty well either way!! so

[sysig]

A few more “canon” designs, a few more new ones (Patreon)

#Doodles #Villainsona #Just Desserts #A quick distraction-foray into a Winx style since I'd gotten the Enchantix itch for a second haha #Other than making her wings doubled I really didn't know how to make her Classic design more Winx-like lol #I was going more for the first transformation rather than Enchantix and I mean - Techna is covered from head to toe so it's not Out of style #I am unabashedly biased towards her Classic design lol ♪ #Not having a fixed design for her TVAU outfit did at least encourage me to try Something a bit different for an Evil Enchantix at least #(Gods now I'm just imagining Dark Bloom Enchantic?? Yo - thankfully some artists have given their interpretations :D) #Anyway tho lol - the bottom half of her design seems to be what always trips me up #At least for Enchantix there's kind of the excuse that she needs the fairy vine-shoes thing - she normally wears regular shoes haha #All that said I think the Winx style doesn't completely suit her anyhow :0 She's not really meant to have such stylistic curves haha #All the more reason to return to WOY! It's fun :D #Two semi-canon outfits - the first one much moreso than the second since that's her self-designed TVAU outfit! #To be fair Kaiein rejected that one and not me lol probably on account of the cape muddling her silhouette #No Capes! No matter how cute she looks in them haha #And then the second (especially happy with her expression on that one hehe :3c Watch out) being from when she cornered Cherry Shortcake! #I was incredibly correct about her wings at that point - I think both versions having their own appearances is very good #Denoting influence and emotions and points of time - kind of like her wings and Evil Time in Classic! #The Staff looks so tiny in this style as well haha ♪ #And then the last three! More rejects but mostly just done for funsies anyway haha #I still prefer Charm in more fantasty-adjacent fashion but she's cute no matter what so a bit of semi-modern is fine every once in a while #Spooky mask leaves some mystery and fear of the unknown lol #More ink themes - it suffers from the same problem as her drip-modified outfit just not a strong silhouette! I think it's a neat pose tho #And finally trying to find something that would work well with the wings - they can appear pretty much anywhere on her back so #It can be kinda hard to have a definitive ''No matter where they sprout from this look won't clash'' #A loose top with a tube top underneath is cute tho :) Might be willing to give a slightly more thematic version pulled into the JD style #And so help me I will find a proper top-hem style for her pants! Gosh!

[seithr]

Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now

(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)

(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)

Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh

#(I'm emotional because I've been feeling bad about it all lately. enjoying things I make I mean—art or ocs or frivilous things.) #(So remembering that song and when it came out. That I couldn't see them in person. But i held onto it my own way. As something I loved) #(Something I still do love a lot... Parts of me saying no—you don't hate it. No. I'll help you remember more. I'm a little misty about it.) #The song is just The Killers - Run For Cover. I couldn't see them in person all those years ago—family went without me. #All my new oc rework with Zin and Hunter and Caia were like a year old or so. #It's a little silly. But the character Zin's derived from was a lightning mage so I stuck to it—I like monhun's zinogre for what its worth #So there's recurring theme and imagery. Thunder's not lightning but the sound and the feeling after the flash the flame and strike. #There's that meaningful thought—the story is the aftermath of a big tragedy. It matches what I like in monsters and other chars. #And at that time—my favourite band I missed out on puts out a really good song I download everywhere and it goes like: #He motioned me to the sky/ I heard heaven and thunder cry/ Run for cover/ Run while you can baby don't look back/ You gotta run for cover #And it goes on of course. The rest of the song's still really good. There's more that fits but point is; More evocative imagery. #So there. Why my bundle of OCs—Zinadia Hunter and Caia's story—is called Thunder 20XX. minus the 20XX. That's tongue-in-cheek #About some day I'll manage to make something tangeable or broadly shareable with them. I guarentee this century! #Thunder... oh my darling Thunder. Eight years man. More than that if I really want to count pre-rework INTO the complete original work. but #I like that it's definably 8. I like that I remembered I've always loved them a lot. Always been my thing to lean on even by name... #I need to get to sleep. Ive gotten a little more emotional over one song than I'd rather regularly be. Give it a listen maybe? Goodnight #Armour clanking #I need an oc tag #What have you gathered to report to your progenitors?🎶Are your excuses any better than your senator's🎶He held a conference #and his wife was standing by his side🎶He did her dirty but no-one died🎶 #I saw Sonny Liston on the street last-night black-fisted and strong singing🎶Redemption song🎶 #He motioned me to the sky🎶I heard heaven and thunder cry🎶RUN FOR COVER #What are you waiting for—a kiss or an apology?🎶You think by now you'd have an A in toxicology🎶 #It's hard to pack the car when all you do is shame us🎶Even harder when the dirtbag's famous🎶 #I saw my mother on the street last night all pretty and strong singin🎶The road is long🎶 #I said 'Mama I know you tried!'🎶But she fell on her knees and cried🎶RUN FOR COVER #Just run for cover - you've got nothin left to lose...

[chaoticeddie]

downloaded a browser that will read out webpages and has a bunch of different voices to choose from and works really well with ao3 and holy shit my life has been CHANGED

#suddenly i no longer have the excuse of 'well i need to do that task but i'd rather be reading fanfics' #cause HA now I can just listen to the fic!!! #I think I'll probably only do it with fics that I've already read before unless desperate #like unless I'm super into a fic #cause it does have a couple issues with tone and pronunciation and pauses that I can really only navigate with fics I'm familiar with #it does a surprisingly good job with everything though #amd so far I haven't run into any issues with it reloading a page and losing my place #and it has a whole bunch of different settings for speed and pitch and sleep timers and stuff #it's been very nice so far! #it's called audify btw! #it's on the google play store at least #no one tell me if there are issues with the app cause I think I'd already be devastated to lose it #I got a couple things done today that I've been meaning to do for like a week

[mangobubletea]

canon isn't real if i don't look at it *starts ugly crying*

#jjk spoilers in tags #i usually don't look at leaks but i opened twitter and at the top of my dashboard were the panels that gege himself posted #and i was like WHAT. #WHAT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN. EXCUSE ME #i'm actually so sad #after so many weeks of back and forth and especially LAST CHAPTER??? i just stopped thinking about the possibility of gojo dying #like i always knew it was a possibility but the stakes like. fizzled out #i also think it hits so much harder when waiting for new chapters rather than reading a bunch in one sitting #like i don't think i'd be as inconsolable if i'd read this whole fight arc in one sitting #i saw someone say there's still hope his head is still connected to his body but i'm like #idk man. i think this might be it for real this time #anyway IT'S NOT REAL IF I DON'T LOOK AT IT RIGHT #what i really want to happen. is for kenjaku to be unaware of this #and then he's talking shit and someone says gojo is dead #and then geto's body reacts again #leaving kenjaku vulnerable and very killable for a moment #then gojo and geto can have a happily ever afterlife #god. i'm so sad #this is going to haunt me for weeks #the only thing that can somewhat fix this is if we get the nobara is alive reveal #please. i'm begging #ramblings #sorry for being so abnormal about this silly fighting anime

[andthebeanstalk]

Oh I have consumed too much Christian discourse I need to have gay sex immediately

#it is an ecclesiastical emergency #original #i got more or less the answers i needed and a good deal more i didn't need. it all comes down to faith now. #which is to say faith is rather hard to debate and so i am politely excusing myself now #it was a cult i grew up in too much discourse is bad for the belly #at least the christian kind anyway. i doubt I'd have such a reaction to buddhist discourse but either way all the religions appear to have #the same amount of conclusive evidence. which is to say they are faiths so they don't work on an evidence based system #but the REAL point here is i feel kinda gross now and my immediate instinct is to suck a thousand dicks #boy i really have changed huh #hmmmmmmm #i have limited options because i am very sick but I'll just have to like. suck a dick for the devil later i guess. #dicks.... #i tried to take in more of the densely philosophical responses - which to their credit were apparently well made and with good will #but my brain started shutting down and was like i need my tongue to be. in a cunt. NOW. #fuckin A #shitpost #anyway i still think if there is a god then he is a real bastard. which i think is actually what Gnosticism is! #but as interesting as that would be i think there are enough cruel and powerful beings to explain things as is #man i miss sucking cock i need to work on getting healthier just for that. it's not that it's hard to find cock it's that i would rather #something something funny joke than go on grindr again. yipes. not my bag personally

[isekyaaa]

I do understand the controversy with ai and art, like I totally do. But... at the same time, I absolutely would love to train an ai with my writing style to see what it'd come up with.

#rambles #in which ekolu proves yet again that she is onsessed with herself #okay but hear me out okay like okay just listen #......... #okay i have no excuses #i tell everyone this but i am (at my core) essentially a lazy person #i write because i love to read what i write #i am my biggest fan #so if something can write for me....... 👀👀👀👀👀 #profit? #'profit' being ekolu's happiness and satisfaction uwu #the only thing is #like i said before i am essentially a lazy person #so just the thought of training an ai and fine tuning it to make it just like me is.... #really boring and tedious sounding #i'd rather pay someone to do it for me lmao #but alas i am broke so..... #i will just write things myself uwu #the thought of training an ai only for it not to write like me would be just #annoying #devastating #i devoted 20 minutes of my precious time only for it to not work???????? #scam! #how dare!!!!!! #i couldve been watching dumb tutorial videos on youtube that i'd never use irl!!!!!!!!! #yeah thinking about this more it turns out that i write less because i enjoy the act of writing and more bc like... #nobody will create the content i want so thus i must create it myself #i really wish i created more for the people #but instead i get it shoved in my face that i am a self-obsessed selfish person everywhere i turn #acckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

[rescuefield-a]

thinking about how it took claire one firm "no" to go "well okay fuck you then" gjhj

#the writing for ID is so dumb sometimes bc claire's first thought was oh okay i see where this is going #she just said you do you and i do me without much of an explanation she's missing like half of the plot she was shoved away from #which is why i kinda reject ~the great war~ in the parking lot. it's not really in character imo and #an underground joint investigation throughout the years leading to re6 would actually be more interesting #than whatever excuse to justify the lack of presence. by the end of ID there are like 4 people alive who know about the chip in some extent #i'd rather believe they actually worked together to bring down the corruption tho it didn't lead nowhere as we know already from tall oaks #ALSO it ties with what neil asked claire in rev2! when he asked her about tricell and washington she lied through her teeth <3 #i hope re6r will give us that claire dlc this time around bc it could give (me) closure about how that chip situation was solved #BUT I DIGRESS

[rubys-domain]

i literally log in, do chongyun's burst nuke rotation a couple times, then log out, and that's a fun genshin experience for me lmao

#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !! #47k is my record today btw #thank you for asking XD #i just crowned bennett's burst today. i'm glad the increase in damage was noticeable lol #my next target is to crown kazuha's burst. then work on his em vv pieces #only after that will i finally go back to crit fishing for chong #lol just kidding i'm actually going to level kokomi to 90. even tho i don't NEED need her rn，i just can't stand seeing her underleveled #maybe after that i'll be out of excuses to not improve chong's artifacts #i love chong but i hate crit fishing. but he deserves only the best so i'll do it #i'd rather work on his artifacts when i inevitably become a whale honestly #rn i don't even have bp so i have much less resin to work with #and even if i didn't want to go so hard and get like four entire artifact sets for chong. i'd still want to get resin refreshes anyway #i don't even want to do it every day #i just want to be able to grind the everliving fuck out of whatever resin thing i want whenever i feel like it #believe it or not i actually enjoy grinding lmao. but only at my own pace #on one day i can literally just do dailies and condense my resin cuz for whatever reason i don't give enough of a fuck to do more than that #the next i can be just really in the mood to take a character from level 40 to 90 in one sitting #(okay maybe to 90 is a bit of an exaggeration but you get the point right?) #someone somewhere suggested that the condensed resin cap be raised to 20. so if you wanted to you could condense five days' worth of resin #and use them all on the weekend #which would be great for people who don't have the time to play much daily #but also for my future whale self since i could max resin refresh a day or so prior and get max condensed #so on the day i want to grind i'd not only have 20 condensed，but also daily natural regen resin and also daily max refreshes #so i'd also have a shit ton of original resin too #i also feel like un-condensing resin back into original resin should be a thing #cuz if you want to farm bosses and such you can't use condensed #it would still cost mora to un-condense obviously #but even as an f2p there are some days when i wish i could use more original resin specifically than i have naturally through regen #being able to basically use even just the previous day's worth of original resin would be an absolute godsend

[primofate]

"Where'd you get that bruise--Oh," in which your Genshin lover gets a good look at the first hickey he left

Warnings: please excuse mistakes as I'm on a time crunch and also sleep deprived, suggestive but still safe for work, humorous in some parts

Other works in this series: (You say I love you for the first time)

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Itto, Kaeya, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Tighnari, Wriothesley, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader  

Aether

gets flustered

"Uh-Umm... Maybe, you should..."

he wants to say cover it up but who is he to tell you what to do?

Starts to second guess if he really gave you that

Will start to think about the events of last night and deflates with embarrassment

Finally points it out, feels kind of bad that he left a mark

"It's just...distracting...I'm sorry if it hurt,"

Albedo

stares at it for the longest time.

There's a half smile, half amused look on his face, like he wants to be happy about it but doesn't want to be too obvious.

Just chuckles and points it out without any shyness whatsoever

"It's rather obvious, but do with it what you will,"

Comes up with some sort of concealing potion to help you hide it

Brews about a 100 of 'em

Alhaitham

Sort of does a double take, looks at it for a few seconds then looks you in the eye

"I'd advise you to hide it,"

he really only says that to keep things professional when the two of you go out

but in the next second he snakes a hand up your arm with a small secret smirk between the two of you

"However, I can't say that it won't happen again...Specially when..."

He recalls the events of last night at this moment, and it seems as if he's staring into your soul. He breaks away from you with a slight hum.

"...I best be going now."

He leaves you confused, but he only hurried off because he felt an urge to give you another one then and there.

Ayato

chuckles to himself

"Well, there's no hiding that I enjoyed myself,"

but gives you helpful suggestions on how to conceal it or at least make the colour less obvious, like putting ice against it, or something.

Speaking of ice, you can simply get it from the kitchen but Ayato is a tease... "I suppose my dear sister can adequately help you with that...Though what, pray tell, would you tell her?"

You kind of shrug and say that you'll tell her an animal bit you.

Ayato is amused "An animal," but there's a twinkle and hint of lust in his eyes. "Yes, perhaps that's what I become when it involves you. The statement isn't exactly a lie,"

Cyno

is silent. Not sure if he's happy about it or horrified.

Feels like a crime cause it looks like a bruise.

Does not say anything for a good minute because he simply doesn't know what to say and is talking to himself in his mind

Like Was I really the one who did that? Last night must've been...

Snaps out of his stupor when he's reminded of the events and clears his throat to catch your attention.

"Y/N...You...I...I've managed to leave a mark...on your neck..."

You absentmindedly touch it and let out a small ohhhhhhh in understanding

Clears his throat again and looks away, pretending to be busy with something. Flustered and doesn't know what else to say.

Dainsleif

Eyebrows involuntarily raise up at the marks.

Points it out immediately

"My dear, it seems that I had a favourite spot last night," and taps on your neck to let you know what exactly he means.

"I can conceal it with a little trick of mine, if you don't mind," he says he can make it invisible to the ordinary eye but some "special" people can see it, so...

"I suppose if you run into the traveller that you'd have to be honest about it. Hm? No, I don't quite mind if they know of our relationship,"

Diluc

is surprised, then apologetic

He didn't know is fully aware how rough he had been last night

Apologizes with a slight tint of red on his cheeks and can't seem to pry his eyes away from it.

"My apologies, Y/N. It looks like I was rather...careless...last night. You should wear something with a collar today...or perhaps, my coat?"

Is seriously considering repenting about it

Itto

"Whoa--"

Is legit about to throw hands but then remembers

"Oh yeah. I did that." while scratching his head bashfully

No shame about it afterwards, even has the gall to say

"I'm surprised it doesn't look worse! It was pretty wild last nig--"

You have to cover his mouth to save yourself from embarrassment

Kaeya

smirks and leans in close to brush his fingers against the hickey.

"It isn't the most flattering of marks but... it gives me quite the sense of accomplishment,"

winks, deadass tries to give you another one right away.

"How about we try that again? Just to even it out on both sides of your neck,"

is only half joking

Lyney

mischievous laugh

is more happy about it than shy, embarrassed or apologetic

"That wasn't very nice of me wasn't it?" but is still smiling

"Unfortunately I don't think I have any magic tricks up my sleeve to fix this one,"

Grabs and hugs you by the waist "I guess we'll just have to stay in, the two of us, until it's unnoticeable"

always looking for an excuse to spend alone time with you.

Neuvillette

clears his throat almost immediately when he sees it, like he choked on water

"Y/N," he starts rather sternly but falters and takes a few seconds to think.

"May I suggest wearing a scarf today?" is awkward about pointing it out so goes the roundabout way. You're so confused because it's the middle of summer.

"Well," he coughs once to try an explain to you. "I didn't have all manners of restraint last night...You were simply...irresistible,"

points it out by gently thumbing at it

Scaramouche

shit-eating grin at the sight of it

Doesn't tell you to cover it up, most likely wants you to go parading around with it.

"Tsk. What's the harm if people ask? Just be honest and tell them," he's just fucking around with your head now

but snatches your wrist and looks you straight in the eye with a confident smirk "And be sure to tell them who gave it to you. That'll teach them to back off,"

Tartaglia

laughs but is slightly apologetic

"Couldn't hold myself back, I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?"

You tell him that the next time he leaves a hickey, he should leave it somewhere where it's more concealed.

"Oh?" sudden glint in his eyes. You might have said the wrong thing. "No take backs, Y/N,"

I think you know what or where he's thinking about

Tighnari

Doesn't say anything at first but immediately whips up a remedy for it. Some sort of green paste that helps with inflammation.

"Here," and hands you the bowl of herbs. "For that,"

He doesn't point at it but instead eyes it rather obviously

He also watches you put the paste on "Alright, just leave it for a few minutes and it should heal wonderfully,"

He doesn't exactly feel guilty but he's more worried that people will look at you weirdly.

"I suppose I'll have to be careful next time," with a sigh.

Wriothesley

laughs but bashfully face palms and tilts his head backwards

Recovers quickly and smiles apologetically

"Sorry love, couldn't hold myself back it looks like," lovingly takes your face in his palms

Can't hold his smile back "But can you blame me? I'm not gunna hide that I was way too excited,"

Suggests you to put a bandage of some sort over it.

"I'll try to be careful next time, but no promises,"

Xiao

Freezes while looking at it

For a split second is confused where you got such a mark but then flusters himself when he remembers it was from him.

"...Y/N..."

seriously does not know what to say

stands there staring at it that you finally just check in the mirror yourself. He hears you gasp and he kind of winces to himself and now feels a little guilty.

"I...didn't mean to hurt you,"

You quickly tell him it doesn't hurt, but you were just surprised.

Thinks for a moment, then mumbles, you can barely hear him "...So it's alright to do it again?"

Zhongli

chuckles, not shy about it. just amused.

"It's no one's fault except my own. I merely wasn't paying heed to how...carnal...my desires were,"

he again chuckles as he explains.

"Not to worry darling, I'm sure Bubu Pharmacy has something to remedy it. I'll be back with it in tow,"

brushes his fingers against the hickey as some sort of apology and promise that he'll fix it

End

I’ve published The Ruthless Prince (Reader x Scaramouche) on paperback. Click here.

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Here’s the Masterlist

#genshin impact #genshin fluff #itto x reader #ayato x reader #neuvillette x reader #genshin x reader #wriothesley x reader #diluc x reader #zhongli x reader #cyno x reader #xiao x reader #lyney x reader #tighnari x reader #scaramouche x reader #alhaitham x reader

[liinos]

Freesia, Carnation, Alstroemeria, Cymbidium

freesia - are you still friends with the person you considered your best friend two years ago?

yeah 🫶🏻

carnation - does true love exist?

honestly idk but i think it would be nice 😭 like i think some people do just Click and i want that for me but idk if that would be considered "true love" you know

alstroemeria - dream vacation?

omg that's really hard... i don't even think i have one at this point cuz i just do Not like traveling especially with flying involved cuz it makes me feel really weird for a while + even in other countries the place i'm most comfortable in is wherever i'm staying so that kind of defeats the purpose of the vacation i guess 💀 i've always wanted to take a friend to njivice tho so I guess that? i think it would be fun to travel with a friend but i also know i'm a Menace to travel with so idk

cymbidium - sexuality?

as far as i know i'm straight

flower asks

#ask #anon #i only travel for a specific purpose tbh (ie busing for concerts (sucks so hard) or flying to visit family (hell on earth for 8 hours)) #rather than pleasure 😭 the last time i traveled somewhere for 'fun' was in 2018 as like a gift for graduating hs and that was #really an excuse for my dad to go to vienna cuz he wanted to so 🧍🏻‍♀️ i always think i'd enjoy it more if we just took out the #airport/airplane aspect cuz i hated doing that even for the short flights home during college but like. i've just come to accept #that i am really not a tourist/sightseer and that's okay <3 #but yeah once i realized anywhere i'd want to go is a minimum 5 hour flight i was like nvm #traveling also just makes me feel really lonely even when i'm with people maybe cuz my surroundings are all different #and sometimes i don't mind that but i usually just find it isolating in an almost upsetting kind of way #i can't explain it it's just like everything is Off

[astersatdawn]

Landmarks of Promise

Relationship: Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto (Tododeku)

Rating: T

Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Established Relationship

Oneshot | 1.1k words

Shouto rubbed the fading scar tissue beneath his thumb. It’s simple skin now, years of healing leaving an almost non-existent white line. Time heals all wounds they say, but Shouto wondered if this little scratch would forever be a tiny road bump. 

-

[Or, over the years, Shouto learned about Izuku’s scars.] 

ao3 link: here

Shouto had seen all of Izuku’s scars, but he wasn’t familiar with most of them.

He’s familiar with the criss-crosses coating Izuku’s hands like a mangled glove—Shouto couldn’t forget. He will always remember how Izuku looked at him, teeth grit and eyes wild as he yelled in that moment, his hands bruising purple for each broken bone he’d given himself to make a point, and Shouto remembered the view clearly even if the vision in his right eye was hazy with scar and flame. 

He suspected he’s familiar with one of the slashes on his body, though Shouto wouldn’t be able to tell which one. Izuku never told him if their fight with Stain had given him any scars, so maybe Shouto was creating a destination on Izuku’s skin that did not exist, not in the same way he witnessed how his hands twisted under the weight of saving Shouto.  

The rest, though, began as strangers. He learned the textures of some of them: smooth parallel lines and waxy burns of differing depths but all the same starry shape. There was a history behind each scar, another story Shouto didn’t know, even as he traced the lichtenberg scar on Izuku’s stomach or kissed the ridges on his wrist. 

Izuku would tell him about them, sometimes. It started slow and simple. 

”I was being kinda careless,” Izuku said with a wistful smile. “I was at home, playing heroes with my mom. I stood on the back of the couch, thinking I’d be okay, and my mom, well, she didn’t even have the time to scold me before I fell off. There was a box there… I don’t remember why—I think it was a package or something? But I hit it and it somehow… did that.” 

He glanced towards his feet which were on Shouto’s lap. Shouto rubbed the fading scar tissue beneath his thumb. It’s simple skin now, years of healing leaving an almost non-existent white line. Time heals all wounds they say, but Shouto wondered if this little scratch would forever be a tiny road bump. 

Others were tinged with hints of stories he’d originally heard second-hand; raids and internships and battles Izuku was willing to further divulge upon his return from the hospital. In those initial explanations he’d talk about the adrenaline of the moment, blows recounted in that fast-pace manner not quite distant from the heat of battle itself. 

It was only in the months after, once day had quieted into night, curtains drawn shut to keep out snooping stars, legs tangled and covers drawn to their chins to muffle their secrets, that Izuku would tell Shouto about them in another way, of the emotions so easy to bury for someone else’s sake, a personal moment rather than one meant for flashing cameras and dazzling spotlights. 

“I was scared I wasn’t going to make it after getting that one,” Izuku admitted one of those nights as Shouto traced thick zig zags from Izuku’s collarbone to his waist. 

Those words were said more often between the two of them than Shouto would like, for braving the fear of death was the unspoken truth of their chosen occupation, and an undeniable emotion to pair with each battle scar. But that fear never diminished the pride that came after as Izuku, with a soft smile, spoke of a memory of another person saved. As much as fear lingered, the scars were equally badges of honor neither of them would give up. 

Most of Izuku’s scars were from battle. Few were from training accidents, and even fewer were from childhood games gone wrong. Yet it didn’t mean much, not when Izuku always had more scars than anyone else their age, from their teenage years to long after they outgrew the dorms. 

The collection obtained during their years at UA hid the ones lying beneath, the ones strategically placed on Izuku’s flesh. “I did these,” he had whispered with lingering shame. Shouto had simply cradled his elbow and kissed the healed razor’s edge. 

There was another set that Izuku didn’t divulge for the longest time, even long after the confessions of self-harm. The distant constellations on his skin—his shoulder, stomach, back, and calf—were the stories Izuku refused to tell, even long after Shouto knew how those scars had to come about, considering a training accident led to Shouto earning a freshly branded star for himself.

For a while, he wasn’t sure what his silence meant. Maybe it was Izuku’s way of letting Bakugou keep his place, from being incriminated by his past. Or that, somehow, keeping the past unspoken was meant as a sign of forgiveness, or maybe even as a symbol of a quiet grudge Izuku kept locked away from all, including himself. 

But eventually, he did tell, on a night they laid side by side after nightmares latched onto every good thing they’ve ever held, reminding them of the wounds they carried between them.

“When he gave me that one he told me to jump off a roof and pray I’ll get a quirk in the next life.” 

Shouto set his head on Izuku’s shoulder as if it’s the place he could hear a pulse. Yet, it was too far away for that, so Shouto buried his face into Izuku’s neck and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Sometimes it feels like that’s what happened that day—to get here, I mean. I’m still afraid one day I’ll open my eyes and realize I jumped off the roof All Might left me on, dreaming of the life I would never get to live before losing the one I had.” 

“You’re here.” Lips brushed against sensitive skin, and Izuku shivered in his hands. Shouto squeezed his waist, and drew Izuku closer. Izuku buried himself deeper into Shouto as he clung onto the weight of the present. “I won’t let you go.”

The fabric of his shirt was tugged down further, knuckles dug into the edge of Shouto’s spine. “But if I wake up there and—”

“I’ll catch you. I’ll find you, whatever it takes. You’ll live.” In the past, today, tomorrow, every day after—when doesn’t matter as long as it’s forever. “I promise.” 

Shouto’s hand drifted up and traced the roads crawling up Izuku’s back, following his map out of order. Each gentle touch was a draw to a memory, each one painful, but real and unforgettable. They’re landmarks for Shouto’s travels to stay by Izuku’s side, even if it meant their time must go out of order for Shouto to meet Izuku there. 

These were the moments Shouto would never know the true depths of, wounds of both soul and bone meant to be carried by one. But he would memorize each for these were the symbols of Izuku’s journey. Wherever the beginning and ending was meant to be, Shouto would find his way there, for that was his vow to keep. 

#mha #bnha #tododeku #tddk #tddk fic #fic #my fic #happy valentines day #why is valentine's the only holiday i regularly remember to post for #this was my late night realization as i was doing an edit of this piece lol #granted i didn't make this for valentines day #i've been meaning to post this for a while and today seemed like a good excuse #since i have nothing else that's really shippy to post atm xD #on another random note #trying a new style for posting fics #the link method keeps saying new session when i originally try to post and i'd rather not troubleshoot with that #the link works it's just not labeling itself correctly #so i just end up waiting for a couple of hours for it to fix itself before posting #and i'd rather not do that xD #astersatdawnfics

[xiaowhore]

hydro dragon, hydro dragon, don't cry!

premise. in which you manage to make neuvillette feel better at the expense of your dignity. (a fair trade, really.)

word count. 1.5k

note. do umbrellas exist at teyvat. i really don't know.

You've never taken Monsieur Neuvillette as the type to dramatically brood in the rain when he gets sad, but to be fair, you don't know much about him at all.

You clutch onto your umbrella, contemplating. So, uh... Are you supposed to approach him now? Shield him from the rain with your umbrella? That doesn't sound too bad, actually. But then what? Ask him if his pet fish died and now he's mourning his loss? That's hardly appropriate to say to the Chief of Justice... But it would be creepier to just stand there without saying anything, right?

You could leave and pretend you didn't see anything. Of course, that's an option too. It's possible he prefers to be left alone when he's unhappy.

But sulking while standing in the rain just gives “I want someone's attention” vibes, doesn't it?!

With a fit of reckless courage and a “fuck it” mindset, you advance your way forward to where he stands.

Regretting something as soon as you do it is on-brand for you, you realize as you soon come to learn you have to be on the tip of your toes to have the umbrella barely raising over his head instead of hanging from him. You must make a pathetic sight, attempting to shield both yourself and this hulking tower of a man from the rain with a tiny umbrella.

“...What are you doing?” Neuvillette turns around, taken aback when you're in much closer proximity than he expected. Panic flares in his eyes, and like the gentleman that he is, he steps back to create some distance. His head presses against the edge of the umbrella.

“Hey, you shouldn't move away!” You follow his movements, closing the gap. His head is now safely within the umbrella's reach, but you're an inch away from being pressed up against his chest. “I miscalculated. This thing's too small for us.”

When the initial shock wears off, his shoulders slump, a sign of him lowering his guard. “If you know that much, you should use it for yourself and go home.”

That doesn't sound like a bad idea. Appealing, even. You've never felt so silly in your entire life and the option to run away is looking more enticing with each second that ticks by.

Still.

“It's dangerous to walk alone at this hour. Won't you accompany me, sir?”

...Not the best excuse you could've come up with, but your mouth runs faster than your brain. Neuvillette, being the considerate person he is, actually takes some time to think about it, and you hurry to say, “If you leave me alone now, you could have another disappearance case in your hands tomorrow. Would you really like more work on your desk rather than some company tonight?”

He gives you a long, suffering stare that looks suspiciously like the one he gives to Lady Furina when she disappoints him, but he doesn't say no. His hand wraps around the umbrella handle, overlapping with your fingers. It takes another two seconds of that stare before you get the message and you let go, finally able to rest the balls of your feet on the ground as you stand on normal footing.

“I hope you don't make a hobby of coercion,” he hums as you walk together, your shoulders brushing every so often. “Or else I'd see you as a criminal suspect tomorrow instead of a victim.”

“I see that jokes aren't your strong suit, Monsieur Neuvillette.” You laugh awkwardly, your nervousness spiking to an all-time high throughout your entire interaction with him. It's been barely ten minutes.

Silence ensues.

“Do you like showers, sir?”

You should've just kept your mouth shut, damn it.

“I like them the same amount as the average person, I suppose.” The ridiculous question doesn't phase him, and you don't know how he's able to keep a straight face while saying that.

You decide to push your luck. “...Do you prefer bathing with cold or hot water?”

Finally, you draw out a light chuckle from him, the sound deep and pleased. It almost makes playing the fool worth it. “I've been told I'm not the best with small talk, but you seem to be worse than I am.”

Your head snaps up to look at him, affronted. “It wasn't a bad question!”

“Certainly not as bad as talking about the weather. Do you want me to praise you?”

Was the Chief Justice always this sassy? “You're making fun of me,” you point out the obvious, turning away and crossing your arms. “I asked about showers because you were standing in the rain.”

“You thought I liked showers because I was in the rain?”

“Well, I didn't know for sure. That's why I asked.” Even you can tell you're sounding more and more ridiculous by the minute. Was your house always this far? You can't wait to dive to your bed and pretend this encounter never happened. “I think I'll just shut up now.”

“Really, now?”

“Every time I open my mouth around you, I embarrass myself further. I think it's for the best.”

You hear another chuckle as heat crawls up to your cheeks, spreading to your ears. “For what it's worth, you did put me out of my terrible mood. You're quite funny.”

“That's a nice way to say you think I'm being strange.” You hide your face with your hands, peeking at Neuvillette's expression between your fingers. Bathed in the silvery moonlight, he looks straight out of a painting, even with wet hair and drenched clothes.

You've never seen him up close, never even dreamed of standing next to him. Now, you're exchanging jabs at each other like it's the most normal thing in the world, like you weren't just thinking he was someone out of reach when you watched his court trial in amazement. Now, he's so close that you can almost feel the heat from his body, so much more tangible than just a figure you admired from afar.

“But I do have your strangeness to thank,” he admits, looking off into the distance. The stars shine bright in his eyes. “Had it not been for you squeezing me under your umbrella and forcing me to walk you home, I'd surely still be under the rain.”

“...Couldn't you have phrased that better?”

“In court, I only state facts.”

You laugh dryly. “You could spare me some dignity by embellishing the story a bit... Oh, we're here.” You were so occupied defending yourself from his witty comments that you didn't realize you had already arrived home until your door was right at your face. You glance at Neuvillette, who then nods towards the door. If he's disappointed to have the stroll cut short, he doesn't show it.

“Go in. It is rather late.” He closes the umbrella and offers it back to you, a gentle smile on his face. The sight is almost like a reward for your efforts; the small upturn of the corners of his lips makes all the difference, his sharp, cold gaze softening into something more affectionate. The rainbow after the storm. The gratitude for a small kindness.

“You have to get home, too,” you utter, pushing it back to him.

“The rain stopped a few minutes ago,” he insists, gesturing behind him. You blink owlishly, observing the still pools of rainwater. You didn't even notice. Why didn't he say so? You didn't have to squeeze together under such a tiny umbrella, then.

“You should still keep it.”

He raises an eyebrow, inquisitive. “Why?”

You unlock your door, stepping inside, but still not closing it shut. “Well, it gives you an incentive to see me again.” You grin at him mischievously, like you thought of a genius plan. “I work at the cafe in the main street. I'm sure we have some tea that will strike your fancy. Make sure you're not moping next time we meet, yeah?”

Not for the first time, he seems taken aback. But his gaze softens once more, his expression molding into something pleased. “Very well.”

And so, he leaves with a small umbrella in his hand, a smile on his lips, and the clear skies over his head.

The next time you see Neuvillette, the sun is high in the sky. Compared to that night, you can see him a little better now.

That's how you notice he looks unusually shy with a bouquet of flowers in his arms and a pink blush high on his cheeks. “...Good afternoon,” he starts, his lips curving to a beginning of a smile. “The weather is great today, isn't it?”

You stare. You stare some more. And when the sight finally processes in your mind, your twinkling laughter rings in the air, as sweet as the aroma of freshly baked muffins. “And who stooped so low to talk about the weather this time, huh?”

Neuvillette can't even pretend to feel bad about it, not when you're jumping off the seat in the counter to show him a table for two. “Your silliness is infectious, it seems.”

“Hey!”

(You've never taken Monsieur Neuvillette as the type to be smart-mouthed, the type to be indulgent to your whims, the type to be romantic towards the person he's interested in—

But now you have all the time in the world to get to know him better.)

#neuvillette x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin x reader #genshin impact scenarios #neuvillette #neuvillette fluff #neuvillette x you #genshin impact x you

[il-miele-che-scrive]

you know what people are saying when a girl gets cheated on? go for his brother.

a/n not tryna offend anyone, I just love a lil drama

Part 2 here

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username1 Miss Y/n Y/l/n getting cheated on? No one is safe fr

↳username2 Yeah cuz how's he casually cheating on a literal goddess??

username3 they were together for almost 2 years😭

username4 My therapist will hear about this

↳username1 And Arthur is paying the bill

username5 that's it I'm NEVER trusting a man

username6 Isn't that girl Y/n's friend too? Poor girl getting cheated on twice

↳username3 yes it is 😭 guess Arthur got it from his brother

username7 Except Charles didn't cheat 😭 he's a homie hopper but he got morals

username8 I don't worry about Y/n, she's gonna find a new bf, but she wasted almost 2 years on him

yourusername excuse my state i'm as high as your hopes

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username2 Miss girl about to enter her hoe phase

↳username3 As she should tbh

charlottesiine Lots of fun last night🤍

↳yourusername nothing will beat an ex wags night out

↳username2 best ex wags fr 😭

yoursister Next time I'm going too to keep an eye on you wtf

username4 Wait so Y/n and Charlotte are friends? When did this happen?

↳username5 Yeah cuz we've never seen them hang out back when ChaCha was a thing and suddenly the girls are partying together?

↳username6 I mean it could be just a "we both suffered a Leclerc so let's hang out" kinda thing

username5 WE BOTH SUFFERED A LECLERC 💀 no okay but that's valid

username7 Am I the only one noticing this post was liked by Charles?

↳username2 He knows his lil bro messed up lmao

username8 Okay guys so what are we betting on - did Charles like this post because of Y/n or because of Charlotte? Also, isn't he in a relationship?

↳username3 Charles has been single for a few months now, he's free to like whoever he wants lmao

↳username9 It's just a like it's not that deep

arthur_leclerc You were my cup of tea but I drink vanilla latte now

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username1 The AUDACITY some men have

username2 and she was her best friend 😭

username3 I really want to believe they broke up before he got with the best friend but I don't think it's true

↳username4 Y/n and Arthur literally attended Charles' race a few days before we got the pics of Arthur with the other girl

comments on this post have been limited

yourusername you don't mean nothing at all to me

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yoursister And I didn't even have to stop you from calling your ex

↳yourusername why would I even wanna call him anyways

yoursister Riiight, you were too busy getting to know some other interesting people:)

username1 What is Y/s/n talking about?

↳username2 Or rather WHO is she talking about?

username3 No Charlotte in the post but Charles is in the likes again 😶

↳username4 Have you seen what this one gossip page posted? Charles being in the likes isn't the thing I'd worry about here

username5 WHAT.

username3 Care to elaborate?

username4 Charles was also at the club with Y/n. It honestly looks like it was organized by a friend of his and he took Y/n there

username2 OH

username2 That's what Y/s/n is talking about

username5 Our girl Y/n is getting promoted from F2 to F1 and I love to see that

↳username6 LMAO it's so funny because it's true 😭

↳username2 Do we know who else was at this party?

username4 Allegedly the party was organized by Gasly, so obviously there was his gf Kika, but also some fellow drivers like Albon, Russell, Sainz, Ocon, Ricciardo and their gfs

username5 I was joking but now it looks like Y/n is actually becoming an F1 wag now lol

username7 Gossip girl on wheels I've been saying it for months

username8 But the caption SLAPS

↳username9 no because it looks like Y/n and Arthur are having a caption war lol it's funny

username8 It's childish but let a girl heal from a heartbreak in peace

yourusername karma will take it from here

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username1 MISS GIRL?? WHO IS THE MAN??

↳username2 We all know it's Charles (allegedly)

username8 Nah cuz I told yall she's gonna find another boyfriend soon

yoursister Loving to see you happy again ❤️

↳yourusername just needed a little upgrade

username3 I have no proof but I just know it's Charles

username4 Do we think she went for Charles because she genuinely likes him or just to get back at Arthur?

↳username5 Wait until someone starts a "she cheated on Arthur with Charles" gossips

username6 My two favorite red flags

↳username7 The homie hopper and the brother hopper, a match made in heaven

username6 The homie hopper is so real, Y/n recently hung out with his ex Charlotte 💀

username8 What kinda brother gets with his brother's ex?

↳username9 Imagine the next family dinner lmao

username10 Y'all it's not even confirmed that the man is Charles, y'all are crazy

↳username6 The post was liked by all the F1 drivers and their partners that were on the party from Y/n's previous post, it says a lot

↳username2 What @/username6 said and also Y/n is now followed by half of the F1 grid AND the wags

charles_leclerc Not your cup of tea, but my glass of wine

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yourusername KARMA IS MY BOYFRIEND❤️

comments on this post have been turned off

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 imagine #charles leclerc x reader #f1 smau #f1 social media au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #Charles Leclerc smau #Arthur Leclerc x reader

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

#discourse cw #transmisogyny cw

[noxtivagus]

hfddkjfaskldf

#🌙.vent #i'll fix my account by the end of the week but. i feel so empty right now this hurts so much #i haven't been doing well at all lately yeah not getting proper sleep or not eating well n generally just yeah #it affected my academics a bit i submitted some things late or took so long on stuff. for this one course though in particular #unfortunately two of my grpmates seem to be unnecessarily serious in a way that. god i don't know how to explain but yeah #setting internal dls cldn't meet them but we still submitted on time n. i've. been rather anxious lately so it's been hard to yh in the gc #i can't even cry or really feel it anymore at this point it just feels so empty and hollow inside #regrets.. if i. if i didn't. if i didn't oversleep if i didn't procrastinate if i did better then. #me n my other grpmate who also had some problems w doing their part of the assignment r gna do it by pair. n the other two by pair too #it just hurts bcs there's so many ways this cld've been prevented but i guess i do deserve this #one cld always do better in the future but there's no changing anything that's already happened #i'm trying to. be kind to myself or i'll collapse but ....i want to just end this in a way #this is. i used to perform really well in academics it hurts how i'm like this now. even if it's been emotionally hard that's no excuse smh #from previous years i said i'd do much better this year. but i'm falling apart again n #thinking about how this may idk wld this affect on my grade as a whole or maybe even conduct? #if it does then i want to kms haha. i guess i wouldn't literally tho but. maybe this is the push i needed! i'll be back to normal i have to #be. 'perfect' enough in a way. it hurts i won't cry but it suffocates me n. i'm so tired & i always end up disappointing myself in the end. #it hurts thinking of how i'm letting down my past self n. my future self. i need to do much better but i can't erase my mistakes #it hurts so much that i want to give up i don't want this anymore i was starting to feel better but oh well i'm so fucking disappointed #i have to do my best this sy. this is so disappointing i just want to fucking give up #i can't bring myself to distract myself w games for comfort. i can't bring myself to talk w others at all bcs i don't want to bother them #i'm stuck here on my own just drowning in regrets. trying to swim back up is useless if i'm in the middle of the ocean #maybe years from now if. those exist. this wldn't burden me so much but. now in the present it's just too much #....it's the same feeling of emptiness from years back i know this well #it starts out first a bit destructive. feeling sad then better; then smth like this happens n. i'd change. empty for a while #then i'd go on about my life as i 'should'. just surviving day after day #i'm v disappointed now yes but i do know years from now older me wld be disappointed if i neglect myself #it hurts i'll just do what i need to do i don't know anything more right now other than being alone n in pain n it hurts i'm so stupid #rn mostly i just feel empty but i'd say i'm fine. my mind's clear. i'll push myself to be productive bcs i know i'm capable anyways #just need myself and surely i'll be fine. regardless of whatever problem comes my way. surely i can handle this as always