#someone take my cards from me jfc

[giyuulatte]

alright i finally finished the uncanny counter 2 and…

hmm

my thots and spoilers below

THIS IS ALL MY OPINION AND IM BLABBING AND IT IS YAP TIME

it’s 1am so i’m a lil coocoo

once again all MY OPINION if anyone sees this

honestly speaking this season was alright. it def did not compare to season one, which i was expecting. yet it wasn’t up to par with it either. it felt like too much and not enough at the same time so it kinda fell flat to me

in season one everything was connected and there were very clear motives. from the bullying, so mun’s parents, the evil spirits, ji chung shin himself, and the corrupt government. and chung shin’s backstory made me feel for him which is what made him a great antagonist imo. like i loved him

but hwang pil gwang (slick back), gelly (hongjoong variant LMFAOO), and wong (just wong tbh)….mmph

i can’t really remember the beginning it took me 2 months to finish it but, dude and his crew showed up outta nowhere and just started creating chaos for funsies???? now don’t get me wrong, i’m all for villainy for fun but i just couldn’t get into for some reason with them. it just feels like their characters weren’t fleshed out enough for me to actually like them no matter how fine they are bc the whole crew could get it

and then we move to ma ju seok my adoring and loving husband. now this was something i could get behind. him going on a rampage trying to get revenge for his wife and baby, having enough rage to summon an evil spirit on his own??? like that’s what i’m talking about!!! i felt for him and wanted him to succeed bc that con man was also annoying as shit. i really and truly wanted him dead bc he was the absolute worst jfc

if the story only focused on him, and getting his revenge and having to take him down. and only him. seeing how far his rage could take him and what would happen ON HIS OWN without any outside manipulation pil hwang *coughs* would have been a lil more interesting to me and i think i would have enjoyed it more. ik pil gwang wanted his power n shit BUT WHY. like give me a reason.

TO ME hwang pil gwang and his crew added absolutely nothing to this for me. and gelly betraying slick back and all that other stuff just felt unnecessary to me. gelly not being able to do anything and literally almost every single time the crew showed up, and bc pil gwang wouldn’t help her. GIRLY STAND UP AND HAVE SOME RESPECT YOU ARE A BADASS TF YOU DOIN???? GET OFF YA KNEES

AND ms chu’s newest child lim jae yeol….why was he there??? and be honest. what did he do for the plot other than give ms chu another child and show her backstory

and then do hwi, lawd my sweet piano man. WE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT JUST FOR HIM TO FORGET HA NA IN THE END I WAS SO PISSED bc once again. what tf did he add. i feel like he could have been good to ha na, genuinely. imagine getting dumped by ya not girlfriend after y’all done hung out together and have each other hiccup remedies, and then getting attacked by someone who finna rap they verse in bouncy i am so dead

i understand they were trying to idk, give their characters more depth but pls

mo tak punching so mun was NAWT on my 2023 kdrama bingo card. and he didn’t even apologize for it!!!! i understand he was angry and upset bc he thought lost his partner and so mun was doing a bit too much but i just feel like that was outta character for him to do…. and for him to not apologize for it was just, what???

and don’t get me started on jeok beong. i was um, expecting a lil bit more. yoo in soo is a FANTASTIC actor. if you told me he was gwi nam from aouad before hand i would have passed out. THAT MF RANGE IS INSANE!! but, but, jeok bong could have been more. i love him to death but he stayed the same person the entire time. granted towards the end he did start meshing with the group a bit better and throwing ideas out and stuff but i dunno bruh. i was feeling him and not feeling him at the same time.

the same goes for kang ki young. baby if you say that was myung seok from attorney woo i would have passed out pt2. like he did his thang bc i deadass hated his character even tho he was looking good as hell

the lack of so mun’s friends also bummed me out bc i really like them and they are an important part of his life. wanted to see more of those three together as well. my found family was not found with them this season

but the counters dynamic was still a++ like that’s real family. teasing ha na and do hwi, ha na having to save so mun while he was in a coma, then going to yung to ask why so mun leaving, jeok bong calling mun his brother just *wipes tear* magnificent

and why tf did mun have to lose his powers again. we did that shit in season one there was no need for that tbh

nothing to say about ms chu god bless.

nothing to say about jang mool god bless.

mun going over seas and seeing wi gen’s daughter like ENOUGH.

just…. too much, and yet not enough at the same time.

but i still very much enjoyed 8.5/10 BAYBEE

#giving a whole review here damn #but it needs to be said #so it can leave me brain #i won’t say im disappointed #bc i’m not it’s still one of my favorite shows ever #season 2 just kinda fell flat to me #and i couldn’t sleep so i did this instead #the uncanny counter #the uncanny counter 2 #kdrama #kdrama review #so mun #ga mo tak #do ha na #chu mae ok #choi jang mool #na jeok bong #hwang pil gwang #gelly berherd #ma ju seok

[mothmags]

omg nashi dragneel headcannons that no one asked for!

part 1 - part 3

is the bitch who would say "thats so Scorpio rising of you" ironicly and she intentionally gets the persons star sign wrong because she thinks its funny

she knows everyones birthday by heart, and their star sign, rising sign and the list goes on

gives people either very criptic or very specific horoscopes whether they ask for it or not

not just interested in astrology but also astronomy and can read celestial maps really well.

She would randomly say space facts as a kid and natsu would just smile and nod not knowing if she was just fucking with him

theres like a 50/50 chance that she is

she wanted to be an astronaut growing up

space is very much so her special interest

has cried to The Planets - Jupiter and will cry again (me too)

she becomes very emotionally attached to the bots the Fiore Space Institute (FSI) send into space

she does a lot of writing

After literal years of begging, Natsu and Lucy help her get into the FSI Mage Program when she was 14

its where they utilize celestial and other space based magic to better understand the cosmos

In-between jobs, she studies and researches for FIS and is eventually considered an accomplished astronomer when she's older.

when shes in what her family calls "research mode" she will forget to take care of herself

Is "best friends" with gray and juvias middle kid, Maree

She takes her out to the middle of the ocean occasionally to stargaze (they are definitely not dates. they dont know what you are talking about)

lightweight when it comes to alcohol

LOVES traveling and seeing new places

cat person (obviously)

is a sarcastic little shit in the best way

she and leo have little outings every week - like to get boba or to a bakery to get snacks

as the designated older sibling leo is "forced" to pay

he hands his card over to the cashier with a fake groan and complains about how unfair it is that HE has to pay despite nashi not saying shit about him paying

Fiercely independent, like oh my god girl its ok to ask for help jfc

It mainly stems from the pressure of living up to the dragneel name in the eyes of the public

being in one of the most famous guilds with your parents being some of the strongest in said guild will do that to you

she's working on it, guys. i promise

her love language is touch

shes always hooking her arm around someone elses, holding onto their sleeve or leaning on people she cares about

she might be independent, but she's a daddys girl at heart and will hook her arm around his whenever she can

she gets cold fast, so in the winter months, she constantly has her arm hooked around his

#ft nalu #nalu fairytail #fairy tail nalu #nalu #fairy tail headcanons #nashi dragneel #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #ft loke #loke fairy tail #nalu headcanon #fairy tail #fairy tail next generation #bonk #shes my oc now

[arcplaysgames]

Seen here: Me IRL jumping because I was so concerned about Morgana that I fucking didn't notice Akechi was here until the little card icon appeared. BEIGE ALERT.

Akechi bro this is like not a good time but also i'm worried about missing flags for the extra content so I guess we can hang. (Morgana, I know you are going through a crisis rn but pls forgive me okay.)

man i haven't taken a bath in probably about 15 years, are they that good? my friend sent bath salts from japan, i should just try them. people are super into baths in this game.

oh because apparently they are some key to heart-to-hearts I guess???

wow that is a Lot

I was joking to cardiganism that something about Akechi makes me want to study him under a microscope. They said probably because out of the whole cast, he's the most opaque. Which, yep, honestly.

If the seed of Akechi's justice is wanting revenge for the mistreatment of his mother by his absentee father, that's... potentially high-minded?

Honestly a later moment from Akechi is way more interesting so I'll hold until then.

jfc are you my Vriska, what is this? what's the term? The pathologically competitive?

Is that true?

You know what's weirdly rare in video games? Liars. I feel like when it comes to quests for truth and understanding in games, the usual force pushing back is unrevealed information, not someone giving you false information. And in the games where outright lies are used, they tend to be used sparingly, as a second act twist that sets up the rest of the plot.

I think it's less common to have to deal with a character that just lies to you continuously without any real indication that you are being told a lie. Akechi itches at me because he's not, like, the Citadel Council keeping big secrets from the galactic community. He's a guy who is lying and I don't have any context for what the truth is.

Anyway, I guess it's time for the class trip.

... Mishima, I'm not going to nonconsensually change the heart of someone who cheats at video games.

WHY DOES NO ONE IN THIS GAME TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BEING A PHANTOM THIEF SERIOUSLY? This is why I have always hated the Phansite and I especially hate the "rankings."

Also, I know this is shocking news, but I love Futaba. The realism of this is great.

Also hey I'm up to 9 for Yoshida, and is that the big reveal for every Confidant? That they totally knew you were a Thief the whole time? That'd be super funny. Bc I think Yoshida knows too.

DO NOT PULL A FUCKING NAOTO SHIROGANE, AKECHI, I SWEAR TO GOD. I WILL LEAVE YOUR ASS TO GET EATEN BY FOG.

I wanna reach through the screen and shake Reverie. Morgana is seriously on the verge of a breakdown, isn't comfortable reaching out for help, and you're LEAVING HIM FOR A TRIP TO HAWAII.

WHICH: SPOILER. SUPER SUCKS EXCEPT FOR YUSUKE ONCE AGAIN, SHOCKER

/puts head on desk and yells

they really did work to make joker the MOST pretty huh

god i thought the beach trip was boring but the hawaii trip actively sucks

it's just Ryuji wanting to get laid so bad he does splash damage of suck to everyone around him...

(what the fuck ryuji, chill the fuck out, this shit made me fucking uncomfortable)

Mishima literally refusing to talk about anything except the Phansite's Alexa Traffic ranking

And Yusuke being the fucking load-bearing column of this entire game I swear to god. He is the only reason I did not just press fast-forward and skip this ENTIRE section. It was miserable.

Atlus. Atlus. Atlus. Stop fucking punishing me for not having a romance locked in these games. This whole segment was more excruciating than Yosuke Hanamura's Joker Mode. I'm dead serious. It was less homophobic but something felt more homophobic to me specifically. I think because my was of reacting were much more locked down. Whatever.

God, send me back to Japan so I can check on the people I care about. (Ann, Yusuke, not you, I'll never be mad at you, I love you both. If I got to spend this trip having mai-tais with you, it would have been a blast.)

OH SIDEBAR:

motherfucker where have you been, I have been trying to talk to you since school started and you just blow me off! rude!

I don't think Maruki is a good therapist but I think he's decent with people. He notices Futaba and Morgana talking and uses it as a springboard for conversation. Or, tries anyway. Futaba is still working on being observed by other humans. We know how that is.

Then, Futaba sees that Maruki..... has a book on cognitive psience. And Sojiro immediately tries to throw him out but Futaba is like "chillax" and actually talks to him.

Maruki notices the past-tense and tells Futaba that her mother sounds cool and would be proud of her.

He's a nice guy.

However. He's working with Reverie to talk through basically the necessity of pain and trauma in people's lives, has mentioned wishing that pain was curable through more easily actionable means, and is toting a book on cognitive psience.

there is not enough side-eye in the world.

Hey Maruki, can I see your phone real quick, do you have a weird malware app on there?

Out of images, whup.

#p5 #persona liveblog

[mixelation]

vagueposting but i link to the post pissing me off and quote it. so not vagueposting at all but the blog has a massive following so it's not like. bullying

there is A Post i keep seeing, despite my best efforts to scrub OP from my dash, and it's specifically this version

reasons this post annoys the bejeebus out of me:

This is not a dunk on fandom—love the energy!—but I dream of the things we all could accomplish if we devoted some of that love and passion to the living creatures of planet Earth.

This is absolutely a dunk on fandom. You have literally structured your post around calling out "fandom" for not spending energy on something you think is more worthwhile. "Oh, no, OP meant in addition to fandom activities--" Nope! Maybe that's what they wanted to say, but they did not frame their post this way. The singled out fandom, played the "not to mean but--" card completely straight, and then somehow laid their environmental anxieties at the feet of fandom. They genuinely sound like one of those PTA moms who gives themselves anxiety over what innocuous things other people's kids do in their free time, which do not affect them at all.

[...]

Let me tell you a secret. Talk to gardeners and ecologists from your parents' and grandparents' generation, and you will recognize the same kind of people [as artists], passionate, socially awkward and probably some flavor of neurodivergent, except their blorbos are lichens, salamanders, mushrooms, bats, turtles, and birds.

These people were the ones that taught us how important those creatures were in the first place. That learned how to study them and wrote down what they observed.

Here's a neat little rhetorical device where OP isolates people "from your parents' and grandparents' generation" as separate but still accessible entities. This magical mood of loving nature is so close to you, but you've been isolated! Forgotten the old ways! These magic old people infused you with love for nature, and learned how to.... study them and write down what they saw...? No one was studying ecology or studiously improving gardening methods before your grandparents. There are no gen Z ecologists. There are no magic nature-loving people who also do fandom. Nuh-uh. It's just these magical older generation gardeners with all this secret knowledge.

Also, I never talk about (one part of) this, but I am a neurodivergent scientist running a fandom blog, and I do think claiming ecologists/gardeners are all "some flavor of neurodivergent" is a super weird take. First, ecologists (and scientists at large) are diverse people, not some cute stereotype in your head. Second, don't diagnose strangers, jfc. Third, "some flavor of neurodivergent" does not automatically make someone your friend or your magical relatable nature guide who wants to infodump all their cool nature facts like a trained dog.

IME ecologists and other people working in conservation ARE hype to tell you about their research and work, but I think linking this trend of enthusiasm to "oh, probably your local cute neurodivergent person--" is harmful in more ways than one to, like, everyone involved.

Here is something important: People cannot care about saving what they haven't even heard of.

This is true, or at least dogma I've heard actual conservationists say. It also has nothing to do with "fandom."

When I first started researching plants, I was shocked and horrified to find the internet almost empty of informative resources. No pictures, no paragraphs written by knowledgeable people, no cheat sheets, no diagrams.

There is not a single photo of a couple-months-old American Sycamore sapling anywhere on Google. Not one.

This is not true. There are in fact many plant identification websites, along with insect, spider, bird, mushroom, etc websites, often run by government organizations, botanical gardens, plant nurseries and nature enthusiasts. They often look like they were designed in the early 2000s and never updated, and there's not a really good umbrella website (except maybe iNaturalist?), but these resources definitely exist. If you google "Platanus occidentalis seedling" or "Platanus occidentalis sapling," you can indeed find the photos OP claims do not exist (examples: x, x). This is the piece of the post that pisses me off the most, because by claiming things literally don't exist on the internet, you actively discourage people form seeking them out.

Side note: I actually blocked OP over a different set of posts where they blogged at length and with extreme performative concern over not being able to find a specific type of study, which was a study design so common anyone who's spent more than thirty seconds figuring out google scholar could have found one. Posts like this are not actually helpful for general science education and instead just upset people while simultaneously misinforming them and discouraging them from doing their own searches.

When I started doing educational events at the place I volunteer, I had to write stat blocks and handouts about my trees MYSELF. From scratch.

So does the information literally not exist, or did you compile existing info into a streamlined form to fit your purposes....? How did you learn the information? Did one of the magical old people tell you?

Everyone I've talked to has said the same thing—I would like to plant native species and create a place for wildlife, but there isn't any information.

Don't let people tell you that you can't do anything. We already have scientists. We need artists. Bloggers. Enthusiasts. Hobbyists. Shitposters. We need love, passion, and obsession.

These things exist. These types of spaces exist in real life and all over the internet. Why are you writing like they are a dying breed? Reddit might have its problems, but there are tons of subreddits filled with enthusiastic people who will help you figure out a native plant garden. There is almost definitely at least one desperate conservation group who has this information available for your area (try googling your region and "native plant" - example: "bay area native plant" brings up the California Native Plant Society). You will have to spend some time reading, but I promise the information is there if you spend as long on google as you do making posts like this. You are harming these groups by writing as if they don't exist or are barely functioning due to lack of community support.

We need people whose talents are in editing, photoshopping, shitposting and meme-making, because the internet is where the conversations of the world happen, and we need to be talking about the living things of our planet that are in peril. Their beauty. Their importance. I'm completely dead fucking serious here.

I do agree with this point. Scientists are trained to make graphs, but they're not trained to make graphic design, if you know what I mean.

However, OP's goal is......

Do y'all have any idea how powerful a force your enthusiasm is?? To save the world, we need people who are like that, but about niche bees.

Imagine the most feral and unhinged of freaky fandom folk.

Now imagine someone who is Like That about prairie grasses.

To... have "fandom folk" redirect their energy at.... plants and bees? The subsequent blogging indicates that OP simply wants more blogs that post photos and art of plants and fungi. Okay, cool. What does this have to do with fandom? Do you know that fandom is a hobby for most people, and they go off and do other things in their life that might not be apparent to you, a stranger on the internet? Do you know how many of these magic ecologists and conservationists spend all day doing the work you want to see, and then go goof off in fandom to relax? Do you know that you do not have the right to control or criticize people's harmless hobbies, which do not affect you?

Someone else reblogged and added this comment:

Unfortunately fandom is mostly character analysis, and plants have no character to analyze so this will never happen

Also, the most helpful thing for them to do to save the planet is to donate money to those already doing it, not clogging up the system with terribly thought out newbie orgs

OP decided to reply to this comment more than once, jumping on the idea that "plants have no character" as ridiculous and then making fun of the idea of donating money. I want to emphasize that OP reblogged this person twice, which solicited their many followers to jump on their wording and yell about making plants blorbos, rather than think about any of OP's supposed points about conservation or gardening or environmentalism.

This person, apparently: the only form of doing good in the world that exists is donating money to a charitable organization. There is no such thing as work or outreach or education only money

In the ideal world, people would have dedicated jobs for the things described above. There are people who make a living off of doing scientific illustrations, and I would love for there to be more paid positions where artists and trained educators work with scientists on outreach. Established organizations do need volunteers, but they also need money so they can hire trained professionals to do the things OP is calling on fandom for.

Anyway, as a scientist and a fandom blog, here's this:

What you do with your spare time is up to you. If it's posting weird headcanons at 2 AM, whatever. You do you. You do not have to direct energy at saving the world or whatever.

If you're interested in ~touching grass~, I recommend googling for state/national parks in your area, as they're easy to identify and often put on cool events. You can also google for specific societies or hobbies, or places like botanical gardens and nurseries. Hobbyist mycologists are wild people, for example. These orgs often have volunteer days if you don't have a lot of time to commit.

Are you an artist, graphic designer, or illustrator? You may be surprised how many groups would love to have you design a pamphlet or logo! They will generally give your the information they want people to know and not just have you put together your own information unless you volunteer to do so (source: anecdata from scientists I know who also happen to be talented artists).

Memes are cool, but if you're trying to use them to ~spread information~, please do your best to fact check and then also provide citations. If you make a viral meme of bad information I will be forced to write a vent post about it. :P

#vent

[goldkirk]

my goals for august:

• buy a mattress for the first time!!

• pick a bed if I have enough money this month

• get new legal documents

• report the problems from my psych admission in 2020 to the hospital even though it’s super late, so they just actually know. doesn’t matter if any of them care or change anything, just want to do it for me.

• listen to 8 new music artists on my catch-up list (1 is already done, Pearl Jam. Listening to Pink Floyd next)

• have someone forcibly go with me to the endodontist to get the over a year old root canal done and make them not tell me anything else about other teeth until that’s done so I don’t straight up leave and never come back

• learn what annual physicals are and find out if my new primary thinks if I actually should do them

• get a lot more post it notes and whiteboard stickers for notes to myself and just go ahead and put them everywhere for the moment

• get more than 38 hours of sleep every week for at least 3/4 weeks

• make a poster board that’s just the daily flow chart for work so I can stop trying to hold onto the three remaining shreds of that memory and just give up and use the external instructions for a while

• bake a congratulations for escaping a cult cake for myself and put sprinkles on it

• go to ONE group social event (or something like a museum group I guess) before it’s the end of the month. Have you considered a support group or hobby group ever in your life future me??? bc you should

• figure out strategies for food hoarding fixes and sort that shit out fast before it compounds too much in the new place

• avoid any and all thought pathways or questions about anything triggering during work hours like the plague, so I don’t pile on unnecessary spirals or flashbacks

• KEEP TAKING ALL THE MEDS EACH DAY JFC THEYRE EVEN IN A PILL BOX IT CANNOT POSSIBLY BE EASIER AND YET THERE ARE STILL SOME LEFT EVERY WEEK. PLEASE EXPLAIN, ME.

• stop. eating. so. many. brownies. stop. it’s not fun treating yo self anymore. it’s alarming. there WILL be brownies in the future the world will not stop having cosmic brownies for you to access I s2g me. i can see you have something to prove to yourself by compulsively buying and eating this very specific food that was like The snack food echoing through childhood. but like. Christ, dude. lay off the brownies. please for the love of everything. there is no way this is helping. there is no way you should be eating pre packaged processed snack desserts as often as this. i am literally begging you to make one pan of beans again. why in the world are you tired of beans they’re the only healthy thing you know how to cook HURRY UP AND GET UN-SICK OF THE BLACK BEANS AND STOP EATING COSMIC BROWNIES THIS IS JUST EMBARASSING, ME 😭

• try to do some beginner art tutorials from YouTube in sketchbook and on dollar store mini canvases

• get thank you letters sent that have been simmering in a sauce pan in the back of your head for months

• get pooh bear and the old glass lamp n stuff from the storage unit and finally put them in your apartment

• I have no idea how many things are in this list, sorry people, I’m on mobile and can’t put a read more so I’ll keep it short

• write a one sided index card explanation of why I’m not ready to talk to therapist for now that I can just hand someone if it’s suggested

• start making a poster board chart for various flavors of dissociation so I can pinpoint the right type faster and then just see the instruction for what’ll help and hopefully save time

• somehow make a physical copy and two more digital copies of the family event and situation records I’ve started keeping so I don’t just lose them someday if I get hacked or forget a password. consider sending a copy of what I have so far in a folder or mini binder and sending it to a safe relative for one more layer of protection

• talk to actual financial counselor about debts and about the right rate I should fill the safe-place-to-land money account for the niblings if I’ve only got 3-5 years max

• write a small script to tell the boss and my daily coworker a bare bones but honest short explanation of what I’m coming from and how it might affect my work for this coming year and to please let me know early if they start feeling like I’m slacking off or if I’m not as responsive and on top of things as I’m supposed to be, so we can all avoid frustration and repeated cycles of increasing boom-bust stress because of my current natural tendencies

• log things more often

• get physical sunlight on actual skin at least once every two days

• go outside for an Aoife walk at least twice a day even if it’s an ongoing fear response the whole time. No excuses. It shouldn’t matter if other people will think you’re weird, your dog needs walks. Also you need walks. Also you need people. You are like five days away from full agoraphobia and that’s gonna be a no from me dog. Sincerely, not quite agoraphobic but definitely never wanting to leave the building again past you

• Say nicer things to myself. I’ve gotten really, really mean, I haven’t been this cruel to myself in a few years and it needs to stop. If I catch a thought consciously, I’m going to attempt to build a habit of immediately having to say one nice statement too, related OR unrelated, that’s compassionate instead.

• catch up on four people or groups I’ve completely not responded to in ages without explanation and apologize before August is over. Four is better than 0, which it’ll be if I don’t ever actually just start somewhere and let myself keep being tired and afraid

• get a second tally clicker to track how many times this month I’m actually not scared or on edge

• test the phenomenon about my light sensitivity being shockingly super different on that one drug and jot some notes or a little log to bring up with doctor later if it’s helpful or if I have questions

• talk to someone to see a physical therapist for my left knee BEFORE it gets actually injured. Make this the first time you ever listen to the signs before something is actually wrong-wrong, figure me! come one you worked really hard to learn to start recognizing what sensations are supposed to mean “pain” rather than just “sensation type 16374” and you’re working really hard to actually pay attention to your body when it has a sensation that’s supposed to be pain. That’s a lot of new neural wiring, bring it all together by connecting it one more step to make a whole brand new highway next to the old one. You can do this. Do it please before this knee is properly fucked, you can’t bank on having several years before any bad injury, you know now that’s not how bodies work and you could just get out of bed wrong and tear it if you’re at just the wrong angle and level of strain, get on top of this and it’ll be sooooo good in a few months, I bet our knees AND feet and hips will ALL feel stronger and more fun to move on if you do!!!!

• go to that one free yoga session so I actually see some people living here and get social time

• practice ducking and hunching less when outside around people

• get a psychiatrist over here and get all my meds switched over

• go fishing with Margie again before her school starts and take her somewhere fun with me

• bake Margie a cake

• paint a cardinal picture for Aunt P

• start writing letters to G even if I’m not allowed to send them and write them for the other kids too and decorate a special box to keep them all in

#to do #oh no what else have I put in the to do tag lately I better check #personal

[sage-nebula]

Thinking about how much I suffered in school due to having an undiagnosed learning disability because by and large the world doesn't seem to know that there even is a learning disability when it comes to math . . . jfc

Like I got my first failing grade ever in fourth grade because I didn't understand long division and wasn't allowed to use a calculator to do it for me. It's not that I didn't want to understand, I tried my best, but my brain just can't hold or conceptualize numbers. My brain can't make the connection of what happens to the numbers to get the results. So I had to bring a report card home with an F in math when I was 9 and got torn apart by my biomom as a result of it.

In the grades following I managed to scrape by with Ds only because of participation points. I paid attention in class and I turned in assignments with a fuckton of wrong answers, but that was enough to give me a consolation D on my report card instead. Junior year I failed geometry because, again, my brain just can't hold or understand the numbers, plus I had depression and anxiety and a trauma disorder etc etc, all of which I had no treatment for. The result? Grounded for an entire summer while I went to summer school to make up the credit. I passed summer school only because we had tests at the end of the lesson, when I could still hold the information in my head.

During all of this, did ANYONE suggest I might have a learning disability? No. Because unlike dyslexia, dyscalculia and other learning disabilities related to math aren't well-known. Reading is seen as something that's so hard to grasp, but in math there's only one right answer so how could there be a disability for that? Long words are complicated, but who doesn't understand numbers? Worse still is the people who do struggle with math a little, but who can still manage and retain the information, because they're like, "oh yeah I also suck at math haha maybe I'm disabled too!" and it's like, no, unless you've been driven to tears because a customer gave you additional change after you already input their total into the cash register and now they and all the people in line behind them are expecting you to be able to count the change in the way that means you know what to give them back (since it's now different than what's on the register) but you literally cannot wrap your head around this no matter how many times they explain it to you, you're not disabled, you just don't like it.

In college I majored in creative writing and I was told that I had to take a math class for a gen ed. I was at first told basic math would count, so I took that. It was so difficult, and I got so stressed, that I gave myself stomach ulcers, but I managed to pass with a C-. I was then told, oh sorry! This is too low level of a course to count. So then I tried business math. Failed it. Formal logic. Failed it. College algebra. Failed it. In college algebra I would understand it okay in class, but then when I'd get home I wouldn't remember how to do it. 10 problems would take me 5 hours as I tried to re-teach myself the material from the textbook. But on the test we couldn't use the textbook, so guess what? I failed.

I had a complete emotional and mental breakdown because I wasn't going to be able to graduate without a fucking math course. And it was only after I was literally sobbing in the academic advising office that someone said, "if you can get diagnosed with a learning disability, we can waive the credit."

(Note: I didn't even want the credit waived per se, I just wanted my basic math class to count like I was told it would my freshman year.)

I was 26 years old and this was the FIRST TIME I had EVER heard that there was a learning disability for mathematics. THE FIRST TIME. I paid $600 to get evaluated and was told that while I was in the 99th percentile for language ability, the discrepancy between that and my mathematics ability was the largest the evaluator had ever seen in his 60 years of running these exams. Which, you know, makes sense. When I took the ACT I got a 32 in reading and writing each, but a 15 in math (and 19 in science because of all the math). It tanked my score. Suddenly it all made sense.

But it took TWENTY-SIX (26) YEARS for anyone to even SUGGEST this could be a possibility. And it's still not fully understood or taken seriously! Accommodations can be made in the workplace for dyslexic people, but when I told my boss just this past week that I have dyscalculia, he laughed because he thought the term was a joke, a riff on dyslexia, just for someone being bad at math. Now, my boss is kind of an asshole in general, but still. It's not a joke. I'm not just bad at math. I am INCAPABLE of doing math. My brain can't wrap around numerical concepts. And even in the off-chance that I understand what's going on in the lesson, I can't retain it. When I got evaluated there were problems in the evaluation that we had just discussed the PREVIOUS WEEK in college algebra. Less than seven days prior. I REMEMBERED that we went over it in the lesson. But did I remember how it all fit together? No. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I nearly started crying during the goddamn examination because of how humiliated I was.

I suffered so much into my late twenties because no one at any point in my educational career understood that mathematics disabilities are a thing. Math is thought to be "the universal language" so if you can't do it you're just lazy or not trying or, hey, it's hard, but you still CAN do it, you just need to try harder. It's so angering and so upsetting and drives me fucking bonkers. I've got my diagnosis now so I'm not suffering any longer but jfc. It was a fucking nightmare.

#although i don't really have the paperwork anymore #hopefully it's on file in my medical record or i could get it from my uni or smth #since they'd have it on file from when they waived my math credit

[mommytimmy]

Hi hello i know this is out of the blue but i need you to know that i just. Absolutely adore your art. All of it. Its so so gorgeous and delicate in just. An incredible way and if i could id print out every single piece and consume it like a 5 course dinner. Your tim is so so gender and the way you draw him is beautiful. Genuinely, your style makes me so so happy to see

omg 🥺🥺 I took a while to answer this because I couldn't think of an answer that wasn't (incoherent screaming).

I really like drawing pretty people and pretty men, and Tim is so special because he also brings a youthfulness to it, like his cheeks are soft and still a bit baby fat despite his Self Care Choices I think fljskahdjklsahd (if I were to age him up, I'd definitely keep the kind of looks that have people carding him to buy alcohol) 🙈

I keep thinking of the balance of drawing a pretty androgynous guy without relying on over-feminization, and I don't know! I think as a character Timmy should be confident in how he presents himself and therefore does absolutely deranged stuff with his fashion choices LMFAO like his Sticking Up Hair from old comics with the Gotham giants magenta shirts LMFAO I haven't drawn that, but it lives in my head rent free, he has so much range. OR how in GK he tucks his pants into his socks oh my god I want to shove him into a locker????

Tim doesn't know how cute he is even when he hasn't washed his sweater for 2 weeks fr... But definitely, I feel like I've drawn him when he's "produced" himself for the public (taking notes for future drawings)

Another super nice thing about getting into comics is that legitimately I can do whatever I want with Tim's design? If you look at my first drawings on this account, definitely the way I have been settling on drawing Tim has changed, and I keep thinking of ways to live my best life while also having Tim look like himself, and it's still a bit of a learning curve heheh I think the goal would be having people recognize him from a lineup of his siblings (which I have to get to btw, I really want to draw the Robins but crash into the wall of "I don't draw handsome people as well as I do pretty people" fjsahdjklsad)... which comics don't do btw, it's embarrassing how many times I've confused Tim and Dick? They should color code them like the power rangers jfc

I'm also glad (laying on the floor crying) to learn more anatomy even though I never actually show it lmfao I still draw it like some clown before drawing clothes over it, but drawing superheroes is SUCH a chance to learn how to draw!

All this to say, I draw ultimately to make myself happy, and I'm lucky enough that with a couple days of resting the eyes, I can look at my own drawings like someone else made them LOL it also makes me really happy other likeminded people can enjoy the drawings I make (while I also enjoy the fanworks they make; I love ur writing!) I'll keep doing my best to keep learning how to draw so we can have more things to enjoy together! 😤

#ask #bugbeee #kisses ur face!

[bellewintersroe]

Hiya :) I saw your requests were open but you aren’t writing atm no worries! If you are could I please request a BoB ship?

I’m 5’1 (unfortunately lol) and I have black long hair, brown large eyes and thick lashes. I’m an ENFP, so I’m pretty happy to be around people but I’m a bit socially anxious/eager when it comes to making new friends, but when I do eventually talk to them, I will not shut up lmao! I think because I’m a bit anxious when it comes to meeting new people I definitely have a lot of introverted friends because it’s easier to be an extroverted person around them. And again, I love people but I’m not a super physically affectionate person unless someone else initiates it, but getting a hug out of me is like near impossible if we aren’t close friends or dating (I’m sure you can tell I’m a cat person lol).

I’m a huge writer, I’ve been writing for my campus’ newspaper and I wrote for my high school’s newspaper. I love interviewing new people for my articles and digging into their brains! I have a bunch of hobbies but honestly I’m really bad at consistently doing them? Like I’ll pick up painting, guitar, etc but I’m sooooo bad at doing them regularly. I do make resin book marks and I love pressing flowers for my crafts, and it’s nice to get flowers from different places and events to remember the day. One of my most consistent hobbies is reading though. I loveeee reading, from horror to historical non-fiction, I love it all!

I’m forgetting what I planned to write for this AH so lastly, I love my cat, I’m a Hufflepuff, I love femininity, I wear cardigans and love makeup, and yeah!

Hopefully that was enough or not too much info!!! Thank you!!!!

heyyy thank you so much for your request! It’s the perfect amount of information, sorry I couldn’t get it done sooner! I’m loving doing this requests atm and have a lot of free time coming up so keep requesting and I should get through them at some point !! <3

I ship you with… Joe Liebgott!!!

Call this one a bit of a wild card, but I feel like you and Joe would be sooooo good for one another! I love writing about Liebgott sm.

Okok so first I feel like you might see each other from a distance? Maybe you’re both training or working? You glance up and he somehow turns to you at the same time and it’s like IMMEDIATE breath taking- omg that other person is so attractive.

As you seem a little shy at first, I feel like you’d get all flustered and turn away, getting back to what you did before, but Joe is hooked. He’s intrigued, and as he study’s you a little more he starts to smile at how pretty he finds you, especially the way your eyes were staring through those long lashes.

let’s say Tab or somebody pulls him away without noticing he’s obviously just gawping at you, and Joe is still trying to turn over his shoulder to take another glance at you because who are you omg ???

Talks about your goddamn eyes to the boys for weeks, is practically obsessed with you but plays it off as ‘she’s so hot jfc who is she’.

eventually Web just blurts out you’re training at Toccoa too and Joe’s eyes lighten up but at the same time he’s like ‘are you serious? You didn’t tell me this before?!”

proceeds to run off as though he’s gonna find you outside.

let’s say he finally spots you again, in the pub, a communal area where everybody is happy- Joe’s palms are sweating and he smirks when he sees you. You’re tucked away in the corner, speaking with a group of friends who seem to keep themselves more to themselves.

Joe would approach you if you left to get a drink, it’s a bit awkward at first, Joe’s humour and nerves sometimes clash, but the way he’s smiling down towards you I don’t think it would take you long to decide he’s a nice guy.

Tries to act cool.

when you start speaking more he matches the exact same energy as you. I don’t think Joe would be overly nervous, but now he’s staring at you, so beautiful, in front of him he gets all flustered and tongue tied.

doesn’t hide his feelings from you EVER. very very very open from the start and usually initiates a lot of things- apart from the first kiss, wants you to do that first so he’s not being overly pushy or weird.

probs overthinks that kinda stuff.

but no seriously, Joe can tell you’re a little nervous around new people, the two of you grow close fast and this makes him become super protective over you. Not in an annoying way, but when you sit with him and his friends he’s always ensuring you’re okay and checking up on you omfg he’s so sweet.

deffo a little more on the touchy feely side, in a good way. Once you’re comfortable I think you’d embrace it and he’s soooo attractive and gives killer hugs lmao.

maybe one time after your first date he kisses you on the cheek instead of on the lips when you were clearly going in for it- skskeifiieowodia he PANICS and literally thinks you’re gonna hate him and never speak to him again.

loooovveeessssss sex with you, I think he’s very much a one woman kinda guy, so probably gets a boner like 10x a day just thinking about you lmao.

also very very respectful, again, I think Joe would prefer you to imitate or tell him when you’re ready, he’s eager to explore more of you, but no way is he a creep or forceful or anything of that matter.

makes fun of your height- I’m sorry I think he would think you’re SO CUTE and love how petite you are, but especially at first when he wasn’t the best at communicating his emotions he constantly brings this up.

webster tried to make a joke once and Joe’s face dropped, nope.

playfully argues with you that dogs are better than cats.

you both sound like you’ve got super loyal characteristics which I think is amazing, you’d both be so secure, I think he’d be the one to get more insecure at times?

can’t express this very well so gets all moody, but you’re super patient and he literally decides your an Angel put on earth for him.

can’t keep up with your hobbies- he once said he was gonna actually read a book but three pages in he’s dropped it and been distracted. It’s not that he doesn’t like your hobbies, I just think Joe gives off CHAOTIC energy and you’re such a good balance for him and vice versa.

sulks when you’re paying more attention to a book than him.

tries to distract you, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, it depends what.

probs would bring you flowers and act super nonchalant about it but inside he’s smirking.

not the most romantic, but ALWAYS finds time for you. Takes you out for drives, walks with you- omg he also would never let you walk alone in the dark or in Europe, nope.

likes to ask Gene and some of the other men to keep an eye on you which sometimes ur like Joe I’m a grown woman but thank you for your concern???

fancies the FUCK out of you and your femininity. Look, I think it was hard to take care of yourself properly through the war, but I think you’d definitely constantly embrace your femininity and Joe would LOVE THIS.

Seriously knows how lucky he is to have the most beautiful girl on the planet.

eyes accidentally fall to your boobs- maybe if you’re running PT he stops and STARES- Sobel tells him off and he gets a weekend pass revoked- fuck!

hissy fits?? I think you sound a lot more mellow and initiative than Joe, sometimes he gets a little heated in arguments and he can say things he doesn’t mean.

Sometimes he needs space to realise this, sometimes he doesn’t, would always ALWAYS apologise and give you a massive hug. I don’t think he’d tent to make the same mistakes twice either?

If you express you’re uncomfortable or not happy about something he’d never dream of doing it again- obviously nothing major.

probs been in a fight or two over you, likes to protect you, HATES when anybody says anything weird to you ffs let me at them RN.

Golden retriever energy (most days) likes to jump on you, play flight you- if there was a stage when you two got comfortable as friends he’d love when you hugged him or swatted his hand playfully. I think he’s love language is physical touch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I ship you platonically with… Shifty Powers!

Probably THE most gentle and lovable man of easy.

so SO SO SO RESPECTFUL.

Similar to you, he gets a little anxious around new people, especially girls, and can sometimes have a hard time coming up with the right things to say.

I think this could put you at ease and if you get a little nervous and talk loads he’d be relieved that the pressure has been taken off him.

Checking up on each other- both of you are very intuitive so it’s easy to see when somethings wrong.

joe gets a little jealous, but he trusts Shifty with his life and your life- soon realises there’s absolutely no funny business going on and respects him so much.

joe and Shifty are super good friends so the dynamic between you three is perfect.

Asks you about your interests, asks you what you like about them and if he’d be any good at them- he’s soooo cute.

reads books you recommend, kinda scared of the horror ones though but finds them oddly funny.

if Joe upsets you in a petty argument and Shifty see’s you upset I don’t think he’d know what to do?

doesn’t do any of that awkward back patting, would deffo try give you genuine helpful advice.

it always works.

Like you, I don’t think Shifty is that into hugs or physical touch unless it’s from a loved or super close one. There’s an unspoken agreement that the two of you would never ever do anything to make the other uncomfortable.

such a good friend, honestly.

#Band of brothers ships #Joe liebgott x reader #Shifty powers x reader

[sarcastic-salem]

Hey, guys.

Its Milo and I feel like haven’t been on here in years when really its only been like a month. I don’t know what I’m doing here to be honest. I don’t know if I’ll stay.

I’m unfollowing all of the Heathen and Pagan blogs. I still worship Loki, but I’m not entirely sure I want to be affiliated with that community anymore. Like the Pagan community, in general. Not just because I’m tired of competing with people, but the whole community — including the people who criticize it — are so fucking toxic.

Like I did some digging and it turns out a lot of the mindfulness and enlightenment stuff that people love to shit on are philosophies that were appropriated from East-Asian religions like Buddhism and Taoism. People all over the world still believe in those religions and their teachings. So when you shit on their beliefs because ignorant white people who don’t wanna commit to religion have been spouting bullshit

You’re kinda being a racist piece of shit🙃

And I’m not…….I’m done with it. I’m done with all the negativity and the arguing and pseudo-intellectual bullshit. And like…..I saw this post on FB about how the Norse supposedly believed there is a magical goat in Valhalla that constantly produces beer, and the entire comment section was all white dudebros talking about how awesome that is.

That’s embarrassing, ok?

And what’s even worse is joining a group or talking to other Heathens online and realizing that they’re all white people. That makes me really uncomfortable, especially since I just spent like 4 years of my fucking life getting hate mail and death threats and having my reputation destroyed because I wanted to create a safe space in the Heathen community. And like I don’t even care if you think I’m playing the victim card, alright — I know I fucked up, believe me.

Because certain assholes on this site will never let me forget it.

But like if that doesn’t make you uncomfortable — that the Heathen community is still mostly white even after years of pushing for change — then you might wanna do some introspection.

I don’t know.

I realize I mostly tried to spread awareness about trans and disability issues, and queer history so maybe I have no right saying any of this. But…..I don’t — its not my place to speak for BIPOC communities and their issues either. Like I’m trying to reign in the savior complex — not make it worse, ok?

And just like, jfc, Tumblr users learn to turn off the replies and accept the fucking fact that people are gonna disagree with you and that just because someone likes your post on social media that doesn’t make you the smartest person in the room.

And that’s not a bad thing because no one is the smartest person.

I’m a complete dumbass, I know, but yall seriously cannot just throw a fucking temper tantrum and tell people to fuck off because they comment or reply on your posts. That’s not how real life works and that’s not how social media is intended to work, and yeah, Tumblr is social media.

And don’t just say its because you’re triggered or ND or whatever cause you make the whole fucking ND community look bad when you say that shit. You make it seem like we just wanna use our neurodivergencies as a get-out-of-jail-free card instead of taking responsibility for our actions.

Not only that but ignoring the fact that you’re unable to handle criticism can be hugely detrimental to your social skills.

Ask me how I know🙃

And like sometimes its not even criticism — its just finding out that people don’t love the same things you do that send people flying off the handle. Like what the fuck — are you five?

Is someone suddenly evil because they hate your favorite movie?

#lokean #norse god loki #heathenry #norse heathen #norse deities #norse paganism #norse pagan #old norse #pagans #paganism #pagans of tumblr #religion #mindfulness #stop racism #support bipoc #social media #tumblr #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #disabled #actually disabled #i dont care #sorry not sorry

[storiesofsvu]

happy thursday its l& o time

spoilers thoughts opinions and random ramblings under the cut

Okay, I know they’re undercover but OC seems to be shoving Jet & Jamie together and that gives me the ick because the actors are like, 13 years apart or something. And I get we can age up or down, but I always base of the actors ages so im uncomfortable here…. LOL.

Man… these guys are always SO obvious when they’re trailing, or like, staking someone out from a car, also, ive seen this chase scene already so I know what’s up, BUT, also ive gotta say, her little parkouring is literally just flashy, it’s not saving her ANY time than if she was just continuing to run. If she wasn’t showing off, she probably could’ve escaped.

Okay…does this case/jewelry shit have ANYTHING to do with the casino bitches?? Or are we now doing one BIG case/arc in the background for the entire season and smaller cases for each episode or two? Like the showrunners don’t know what they’re doing with OC….

Well that was some lazy explanation to cover stablers mom not being there and Eli’s in COLLEGE? Are we SURE? Is the math correct on that?

Yeah this Italian chick is annoying, I do not trust her, and she’s literally an olivia knockoff (again, no bensler shipping here…) BUT REALLY?? *sigh*

AYANNA!!!! FUCKKKK!!!! Dem HIPS girl!! I am looking *disrespectfully*

Okay…Jet clearly isn’t the same age of Ainsley if jet was married when she was 20 and it’s clearly been a while now. I don’t like that….

Is this…like..trafficked girl UC cop breaking cover to help her, has a kid back home… is this not the EXACT plot line from last season with elliot and that girl from the diner? This is lazy…just lazy…im literally only here for Ayanna and jet

Fuck AYANA is so pretty! (and also clearly divorced because no lesbian is doing their nails like that….)

Okay. I got bored during a commercial break and looked it up. Eli was born in s9 ep Paternity. That aired in 2007. It’s 2022. ELI IS FUCKIN 15 YEARS OLD AND HE LAZY WRITING/NOT CARING ABOUT SHIT LIKE THIS MEANS that he’s in college, in a different state, at 15. Not to mention… he was only 3 years old when he moved to Italy, he would’ve gone to Italian schools, he would have an Italian accent. Jfc. Why couldn’t they just say that he went to live with Kathleen??

 Okay…mothership time.

 Lets be honest, I’m not paying attention to this shit until Samantha’s on screen so I doubt I’ll have much to say LOL.

JFC there are SO many extras/guest stars that have been on a l&o show multiple times before. This is getting ridiculous. Can some more actors relocate to nyc pls?

Ugh can we stop bringing up covid please?? I know it’s all “pull from reality” but cmon…

OH MY GOD A PURPLE SUIT SAM?!?! FUCCCCCKKK ME!

Okay….okay…hear me out… if I end up writing power high femme sam x casual/bottom muncy….don’t come for me…..

“met the old fashioned way, drunk as hell in a biker bar in queens” fuck I love kate

Also there was a whole lot of shying away from terms of specific gender in that dating/partner talk…and tonights ep was directed by the person who played the og lesbian in this franchise… THAT’S SUSPICIOUS…

SAM!! NOW THE TURQUOISE!!??? DID SHE RAID RITAS CLOSET THIS WEEK OR SOMETHING?!!?! (I LOVE IT)

Okay…imma need WAY more background info on what sam’s story is… cause I just know there’s some shit that’s gone down, like I want that history…

Okay. SVU here we go!

Is amanda gonna fangirl tonight or is muncy gonna take that spot? Cause we all know molly loves sports and they do like to add/write in things of the personal actors lives…

I stand corrected… its joe… awe.. poor guy’s by himself?? You KNOW one of the girls would’ve gone with him!

What hotel did they film at? I need to know for fic reasons…wait…is this the homeland hotel…?? (s6 when they were in nyc)

Mothership ended with Sam saying she had a date, the perp in svu mentions having a date and you tell me why im expected sam to pop up over here LOL.

Yaaaasss molly coming in with the title card! A kween!  (truly did think we’d have to wait until after amanda was gone but I guess I was wrong about that)

Okay, called muncy being an American football fan, adore that they added that in there.

I LEGITIMATELY CANNOT TELL IF THESE TWO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FLIRTING OR IF THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE BROTHER/SISTER SASSY VIBES!!?!????

Octavio with the fucking *hand* thing again jesus

LOL fin… I love you… sweet talkin and bringing people food to get ahead in the case LOL

 UGH FUCKING MCGRATH CAN YOU PLEASE GO OFF A CLIFF ALREADY?!?

Muncy simply cannot be straight when she’s sitting on desks like that…. That IS A QUEER

GRACE FINALLY GOT HER CHEETOS!! YAY!

“the vending machine was out of kale” LOL also lol to joe being all health conscious…

THE BRIGHT TEAL HENLEY!! PLEASE!! JOE!! I AM WEAK

Omg grace fake fangirling, I love it

Where the fuck is carisi??

Dude…. You KNOW the cops are there..why the fuck are you now pulling a gun??

Okay so I will admit, I wasn’t paying too much attention to the case at hand, or the perp, like im literally just here to thirst over people at this point but that wasn’t a bad episode. Definitely the best out of the three for tonight. Still pissed that we don’t seem to get to go to court anymore. I also DESPERATELY miss the recurring guest stars that came along with court rooms, defence attorneys and judges and the like. *sigh* maybe next week. 2 more eps with amanda. Do we think they’ve been clowning us with those BTS pictures/videos or will that shit actually happen?

#law and order #law and order organized crime #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order spoilers

[wizard-finix]

❤️ 💥 👻 🎁 :D

YOOO THANKS FOR THE ASK :D

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

Hmmm it's hard to settle on a single line, but I think it's a tie between this one, from Stygian Ringlet (my p3/p5 fic):

Ryoji remembered that awful night on the Moonlight Bridge, when his world fell apart. The night he remembered everything and instantly wished he hadn’t.

and this one, from a Runescape fic chapter I haven't posted yet:

“You know, I was planning on a nice evening playing cards with the rest of the crew,” Jaida said, still catching his breath. “But no, here I am, stuck in the temple in the middle of the night with you and the Scourge of Wushanko herself, with the only way out being blocked by an army of cultists, mercenaries, and giant crabs.”

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Ryuji's treatment in P5. I normally don't mind a character being comic relief, he does have some hilarious moments. The problem is that he had the potential to be a really good underdog-type character and have interesting character interactions with the others, but Atlus really did him dirty and squandered his character development by having the entire cast degrade him for the rest of the game. It worked for Yosuke in P4 because he tends to make those kinds of jabs at his friends and often brings it on himself, but it's a lot more one-sided with Ryuji. These people are supposed to be FRIENDS, guys. (I don't even need to say anything about the end of Shido's palace jfc)

(also Kawakami's social link and benefits are uncomfortable as hell so I never used them)

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

OH, THIS ONE. I DEFINITELY HAVE ONE FOR THIS QUESTION. My wildest headcanon:

Shinjiro's persona has a latent berserk ability somewhat similar to Akechi's, and absolutely no one realizes this, not even Shinjiro himself.

I will explain this one, so hear me out.

In P3, the only ones in the game with personas that go berserk and try to kill their own users are the artificial persona users, who are the results of human experimentation. Shinji is a natural persona user unlike Strega, and he is (reasonably) mentally sound, which rules out that possibility.

Shinjiro's persona went berserk the night of the accident that killed Ken's mother. He definitely was not on Persona suppressants at the time, because this event was the reason he started taking them in the first place, so it wasn't because of the suppressants either. It had to be a preexisting issue (one that the suppressants actively made worse).

It's a LATENT ability. The first time it happened was the night of the accident, as mentioned before. Normally someone's persona discovering a new ability would be great, right? Well, in this case not so much, since it kind of manifested at the worst possible time and killed someone. And because of that crushing guilt, Shinjiro made no effort to train or understand this ability, instead seeing it as something deeply wrong with himself and trying to suppress it entirely with drugs. So he wouldn't really know if it was actually one of Castor's abilities or not.

Akechi's persona also has the ability to make its user go berserk (except Call of Chaos can also be used on shadows). Castor also pretty much went berserk and while Shinjiro himself didn't, there's no telling whether or not it was having that same effect on him and Shinji was trying to fight against its effects, causing him a hell of a lot of pain. Akechi, fueled by rage and spite, fully embraced this ability and used it on himself and enemy shadows; Shinjiro on the other hand actively suppressed his persona because of he doesn't want to hurt anyone else.

tl;dr I just think "latent berserk ability gone wrong" is an explanation that makes sense guys, cause when you think about it we don't actually know what was wrong with his persona in the first place

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

Oooh don't mind if I do (this is a deleted scene for Stygian Ringlet that I had to scrap because it didn't fit, so it's not actually spoilers lmaoo):

One ring. Two rings. Each one seemed to drag on for an eternity, only making him even more nervous. 

After a third, agonizingly long ring, the other end picked up. A moment, and then a voice Minato hadn’t heard in far too long answered. 

“Hello?” said Akihiko.

Minato immediately slammed the phone down on the counter. 

Fuck. He couldn’t do this. What was he thinking?!

Minato, I would suggest you answer the phone. You’re being kind of rude, Ryoji gently chided him.

Minato eyed the phone warily before picking it up, slowly putting it back to his ear as if it might electrocute him. 

(Well, it was Akihiko on the other end. Maybe it could.)

“Hello?" said Akihiko, sounding vaguely annoyed. "If this is a prank call, I’m hanging up.”

Minato swallowed nervously. Now or never. 

“...Uh,” he said lamely. “...Hey, senpai.” 

The silence that followed felt like the longest in his entire life.

#ask #p3 #p4 #p5 #stygian ringlet #my writing

[longeyelashedtragedy]

all or nothing episode 1: stream of consciousness comments

-not 30 seconds in and mikel is darting around in his all black outfit and Legs and dropping f bombs

-THE EMIRATES LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL WHO WANTS TO TAKE ME THERE 😭

-omg that cut from invincibles era to yakety sax fails in front of goal...ouch

-”as a manager you’re gonna be under pressure you’re gonna be questioned, but i’m ready for the fight”

-omg laca celebrating...my heart

-auba’s gold car....he and laca broing out

-”if you step to take the penalty, that’s a hero for me” thierry henry making me cry about baby b

-i want to talk to bukayo saka every single day

-babeys eating together!

-mikel’s office....does he have a little private patio outside? (also i like his backpack)

-mikel crossing himself THE LESS SAID THE BETTER OH BOY

-brentford fans clapping for B 🥺

-mikel’s grey sweater black pants and backpack getting out of his mercedes look...o hey

-(jealous of any country where you can wear a whole ass sweater and long pants in AUGUST)

-they had subtitles on ben white talking hjklsjgskfjsjfg

-the height difference between mikel and jo$h kroenke took me by Surprise

-mikel being like “the tsunami is coming 😁 the dark clouds are coming for me 😁🥲”

-aaron saying that when you’re a keeper you can be “dopey, a joker, stuff like that” shithouse king of my heart

-was that aaron’s mom kissing him when he signed his contract? i am dying

-where is gR A N IT

-oh there he is!!!  i fuckin love how suck-uppy he looks whenever mikel is speaking holy lord what a boyfriend what a couple

-”i know how hard you fucking try” listen i’ve never found spanish accents to be particularly s*xy but i might make the exception for mikel saying ‘fucking’

-granit giving shirtless advice at the half of the chelsea game...FUTURE MANAGER

-WAIT AND THEN MIKEL TELLS THE TEAM THE SAME THING 2 SECONDS LATER I’M 

-granit has such a fucking presence i’m

-these shots of them on the plane to manchester are really aesthetically beautiful? cold and stark and sad but with a weird warmth too

-O boy we’re about to get to granit’s red card 🍿

-granit’s mouth opens SO WIDE when he opens it 

-omg he goes to check on cancelo after fouling him but ferran torres pushes him aside...ICE COLD bruh

-ngl watching mikel’s interactions with josh kroenke i can See why he didn’t get sacked js...mf wants a thicc slice of that jamón ibérico (wrong region i know)

-”difficult things happen in your mind, you know” omg bby is barely holding it together

-ngl i’ve skipped through some of the footage of us getting our asses handed to us bc it’s too painful lol

-mikel is being emo and there's a shot of him really passionately texting someone and his voiceover is like. “You need the right people around you, to lift you and support you” and i thought he was texting lorena but then it cuts to him sitting with josh kroenke aldfAJLGAGLDG why is this like an awkward date

-uh hello mikel arteta eyelash king of north london

-F i still have 15 min left of ep 1 and i’ve been watching for over an hour

-why isn’t there more granit in thisssssss

-granit calling mikel a freak again jfc keep it in the bedroom (please don’t actually)

-everyone playing around at training how can you not love them

-”fuck me he’s fucking starting” AARON’S DAD....his family oh my gOD.  his mom....ahhhh

-oh here’s the inspirational speech but it still doesn’t show him drawing the circle holding hands!! come ooonnn

-when auba scores vs norwich i scREAMED even tho i already know this happens lmao

-bruh i had no idea how many emotions i would be feeling about aaron ramsdale after this!

-”your attitude was fucking spot on”

-F the next episode will have granit getting injured at NLD.......i’m not ready at all to relive this jfc (i was so fucked up when it happened lmao)

-WOW ok well!!!  wow! that sure was a journey, it only took me over an hour to watch the first ep lmao

#ihc watches arsenal #ihc watches all or nothing #episode 1 #i'm sorry some of these comments are unhinged

[downfallofi]

Tell me how my sister walked in my room when I had just got home from work and immediately put a stack of brochures in my hand from a technical college and said I need to give them a call, gave me a card from their financial aid person and said they'd be waiting to talk to me and I need to get on a program so I can get my bachelor's, and Im just sitting here now wondering what Im supposed to do with this.

Like Im already struggling with feeling like I have no time for myself now and my entire life is just work and coming home from work, to add school on top of full time work again and to take on another debt just feels like something Im not sure of even if yeah getting a bachelors will help me get a good job... except what if I dont want to stay in that field? What if I dont plan to stay in this state forever? Jfc what if I just want to figure my own life out?

And like I just felt her eyes on me at dinner, or when I was laying in bed playing my PS4 and like fuck dude, I didnt come home to want to feel like Im fucking letting someone down but I am and I hate it, how do you tell someone you live with that they don't need to control every aspect of... life?

The feeling... the constant feeling I get is that I'm the disappointment in this family, and it feels like my only option to not be that is to do what's expected of me, not figure out what I want. Like fuck, man. I feel so... defeated all the time

#And again I wish I had someone I could talk to about this #The heavy shit emotionally #But I dont #Dude #Im not even sure if Im going to be alive two more years #I mean a bachelors degree sounds great I guess #But it isnt my plan #I dont have a plan #And I just feel like shes shoving this on me #And it makes me feel like more of a screwup #And shes judging me for it #I dont know #Sorry for the pathetic post lmao #Told you #Long post nobody read

[moon-ursidae]

SESSION #7

as always, SPOILERS for BOTH of the last of us games and the HBO series are below the cut!!

i… have not played this in quite a few weeks huh? i’ve just been so hyped up on joel and ellie, that i’ve been going through the first game for the 3rd time, and really taking in their relationship. then the show premiered and i’ve been losing my shit over that. with the lack of joel and ellie in the second game, i’ve been putting it off hella. i wanted to get in a little bit of time with it today though. so we’ll see how this goes lmao

total play time: somewhere between 11-12 hours!

NOTES:

so the last time i played some fuckin stalker skittered in the doorway and i shit my fuckin pants

so let’s see what this is about 🥲

that was literally fucking horrifying like they were literally peeking around corners JAVAKSVSK

S C A R Y

FUCK stalkers. all my homies HATE stalkers

oh shit they’re gonna be everywhere now huh?

omg with clickers??? OOF

THE FOOTSTEPS ABOVE??? FUCK OFF

ellie open the goddamn door

i chimed in ellie

open the goddamn door

brendon urie may have ruined panic! at the disco but that doesn’t mean you can’t open the goddamn door ellie

AHHHHHHH

OUT THE WINDOW??????

INTO THE RAPIDS????

this bitch WANTS me oh my god

that was awful

this is awful

“fuck seattle” LMAOOOOO

i’m glad that’s over

…it was not over

a fucking stalker jumpscared me from the wall lmao

ANYWAY

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE SOUNDS???

i’m getting the F U C K outta this sewer

OUTSIDE!!

WOOOOO

this overgrown park is gorgeous

it’s not gorgeous anymore someone is hanging

oh fuck! the whistling! the seraphites do be near

yea they’re here ellie just took an arrow to the shoulder holy shit

THESE GUYS ARE SCARY BRO

THE BIG ONES???

running for my life

i have used more ammunition in the past few combat zones than i ever have playing tlou

“you better not have strung nora up.” ellliiieeeeeeeeee don’t let it take over

the lighting is fucking phenomenal

the glow that these fires are giving off blows me away everytime

and how the look in the fog?? F U C K

JOURNAL ENTRYYYYYY

i like her lil drawing of the big ones hehe

…back inside

I WANNA BE OUTSIDE DAMNIT

buildings scare me i don’t like them. never did

there are hella pigeons somewhere goddamn

CARD BABYYYYYYYYY

i feel like i’ve missed so many

LOOTING! MY FAVORITE >:)

awe this poor bastard got killed before he could get the meds to his wife :(

i think their letters have been scattered throughout? or i just haven’t played in a while LMAO

probably the latter

side note: i want ellie’s tattoo so goddamn fucking bad bro. like my life depends on it

more seraphites!!

stealthing in the grass is so fucking fun oh my god

EVEN MORE OF THEM??

i’m using so many of my resources fuuuuck

i have no way to upgrade my melee or make more molotovs…

MORE LOOTING >:)

ruston coffee is quite literally the starbucks of tlou universe

i feel like i’m gonna get ambushed in this merci building

i’m putting down mines in front of this door lmao i just have a gut feeling

it’s too quiet

HOLY SHIT THAT’S A BIG FUCKIN GUY

BUT HE DIDN’T EVEN HIT ME ONCE BC I PUT THE MINES DOWN WOOOOOOO

fuck yea

OH MY GOD BITS OF THIS GUY ARE FALLING OFF THE CEILING AHHHHHHHH

THIS GUY WAS CARRYING FUCKING STORMBREAKER HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS

i’m glad the rest of this building is clear bc holy fuck

OUTSIDE WOOOOOOO

i’m honestly really surprised there was no one on the roof

weston’s pharmacy seems really dicy…

i’m going in hahaha

WORTH IT! ANUTHA CARD BABYYYYYYY

i have never been so conflicted by choosing upgrades before

i have 92 parts but i W A N T that scope on my rifle but it’s 80 PARTS

fuck it.

SCOPE ACQUIRED

WATER STEALTH??? PLEASE???

OH SHIT IT’S THE GIRL W THE PS VITA

is that fuckin hotline miami…

HOLD ON

ellie’s kinda….

got me blushin a bit

BRO AND HER SHADOW ON THE WALL AS SHE’S STANDING OVER THIS WLF W HER KNIFE TO HER THROAT

OOOOOOOOOO

oh my god that IS hotline miami

jfc

oh my god are these all fucking bodies in these biohazard bags

jesuuus

STEALTH!

I’M USING SO MANY RESOURCES >:(

a note! WOOO

it’s just a supply list lmao

don’t go near the lower levels? i’m guessing i’m gonna end up there

IT WAS A GOOD DAY?? AYO???

whoever’s playing that send me ur playlist plz

ellie who cares if it’s nora? whoever it is they have great taste in music

just let the vibes wash over you ellie

INTO THE VENTS WE GO

she’s in the walls… SHE’S IN THE GODDAMN WALLS

hahaha

ANYWAY

ABBY WAS HERE???? IN A CELL??? THAT’S WHO THEY WERE TALKIN ABOUT EARLIER THEN

why was she in a cell tho???

OH SHIT MY HEART IS RAAACCCIIIINNNGGGGGGG THIS IS SO INTENSE

sometimes i think “is ellie really doing this for joel? or is it for her?” and most of the time the answer is that it’s more for her.

joel knows what happened to him was bc he did the same shit ellie has been doing this whole time

he killed a fuck ton of people to get her to safety. but was it always for her? no. joel couldn’t lose another child. so him protecting her, i feel like, was for him as well. so he could have that safety of knowing she was alive and breathing. so he could do what he didn’t with sarah. save her.

but then look where that got him. and now look at ellie. and where that’s gonna get her. it all comes full fuckin circle man. it’s so poetic

this shit is SO GOOD.

the way that ellie isn’t even shaking or wavering during this confrontation w nora.. JESUS

“you still hear his screams?” THEN she starts shaking

her gun was BARELY moving before then

ASHLEY JOHNSOOONNNNNNNN

“yeah, that little bitch got what he deserved.” OH HELLLLLLLLLL TO THE MUTHAFUCKIN NAHHHHHHHHH FOOL

YOU HAVE BALLS TO SAY THAT AT THE PERSON POINTING A GUN AT YOU THAT IS THERE BC YOU KILLED JOEL BRO

ellie you had the shot bro

oh hey! the lower levels!

OH MY GOD WAIT ELLIE IS SO SMART FOR THIS

THERE’S SPORES DOWN HERE SO NORA IS FUCKED EITHER WAY

pitting infected and other humans against each other is SICK

oh my god there’s so much fungal growth down here JESUS

hearing nora coughing in the distance oh my god

“hi nora.” AND THEN BLOCKING THE DOOR HOLY FUUUUCK ELLIE

HER VEINS HOLY SHIT

THE SHOT OVER ELLIE’A SHOULDER LOOKING DOWN ON NORA IS COOOOOLD

these graphics are fucking crazy like this looks like it didn’t go through any animation what-so-ever

goddamn.

i could talk about just this shot for so long.

holy shit

“i’m fucking dead anyway why would i tell you anything?” THE WAY ELLIE GETS CLOSER AND SQUATS DOWN WITH THE FUCKING PIPE OH MY GOD

“think about what he did” AND SHE GRIPS THE SHIT OUT OF THE LEAD PIPE AHHHH

THE FUCKING THRUMMING SOUNDS ARE SOOOOO GOOD

OH MY GOD IT’S MAKING ME PRESS THE BUTTON

FUUUUUUCK MAN

and nora groaning and coughing in pain in between JESUS CHRIST

AGAIN??? THE CRYING OH MY GOD

ellie’s face man. holy fuck.

uh oh, back to the theatre

her hand shaking holy fuuuuck man

“it’s me.” HER VOICE SHAKING :(

and she freezes at first when dina hugs her😭😭

STOP SHE’S SHAKING SO BAD😭

hoooooly shit. she’s cut and bruised the fuck up

ellie could not do this without dina. holy fuckin shit.

“i don’t wanna lose you.” 😭😭😭😭😭

OH NO. OH NO. SAINT MARY’S HOSPITAL???

OHHHH NO.

ONLY 2 YEARS??😭😭

pediatrics? uh oh.

this feels weird.

i don’t like this.

it’s fucking odd

THE MUSIC AHHHHHH

I DON’T WANNA LOOK FOR THINGS THAT WILL HURT THEIR RELATIONSHIP BUT ELLIE DESERVES TO KNOW THE TRUTH

“why’d you all leave?” joel. it was joel ellie.

oh no. it’s the tape.

sidebar: that’s ashley burch!

ANYWAY

i’m crying just seeing joel riding in on his horse.

HE CARES ABOUT HER SO MUCH OH MY GOD

oh my god plz the way he’s shifting his weight nervously after she told him to tell her what happened

(pedro does that in a lot of his roles) ANYWAYY

the pain in ellie’s eyes���

joel looks so hurt too UGH

the way he’s struggling to get it out bc he knows that she’s gonna be so fucking upset😭

HE’S NOT EVEN LOOKING AT HER AND HIS VOICE IS SO QUIET AND SHAKY AHHHHHHHHH😭😭😭😭

THE SADNESS IN HIS FUCKING EYES WHEN HE LOOKS AT HERRRRRRR

OH MY FUCKING GOD

THE WAY HE REACHES OUT TO COMFORT HERRRRRRRRRRR

HE LOOKS SO GUILTY AND SAD AND I-😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE WAY HE JUST STANDS THERE AFTERWARD LIKE I KNOW THAT MAN IS CRYING

FUCK

I’M CRYING

SO FOR 2 YEARS JOEL THOUGHT ELLIE FUCKING HATED HIM??

BUT THEY MUST HAVE BEEN WORKING ON IT RIGHT?? IF THEY WERE WATCHING MOVIES TOGETHER??

SO THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS FUCKED UP FOR 2 YEARS??

AND JOEL THOUGHT ELLIE WOULDN’T EVER FORGIVE HIM??

I KNOW THAT ENDING PORCH SCENE BUT LIKE HOW LONG BEFORE THAT???

I NEED TO KNOW

MY BELOVEDS😭😭😭

SEATTLE DAY 3

woooo😭

“the war the merrier. hey look joel. it’s your favorite.” I’M A PUDDLE ON THE FUCKING FLOOR ARE YOU JOKING

i found a card at least haha

uh oh dina’s not doin too hot

OH I FUCKIN FORGOT JESSE DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT DINA

WELP. DOES NOW

jesse is soooooooo attractive goddamn

i fucking love jesse

“you’ll be leaving some of them alive.” HE WANTS TO MAKE DAMN SURE WHERE ELLIE’S HEAD IS AT

i need to see a miller again i’m sad

i miss tommy

and joel😭

i like that jesse is being very straightforward about what they’re doing

jesse is a fucking amazing guy

from the way he talks about dina you can tell that he still really cares about her

ANUTHA CARD WOOOOO

am i gonna regret spending all of my upgrade parts? yeaaaaaa. but that’s a problem for future me to figure out lmao

ellie’s entry about not telling dina and jesse what joel did UGGHHHH

“do i understand?” 😭😭😭

we’re getting pretty close to the aquarium i am scared

BREAKING UP THE MOSS IN THE WATER IS SO COOL

I AM BLINKING HEAVILY IN SUPERNATURAL

ARE YOU FUCKIN FOR REAL RN LMAOOOOO

I’M SO THROWN OFF RN

“go team jackson” “fuck these motherfuckers” HER LITTLE JUMP TO HIGH FIVE HIM SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUP

I. LOVE. JESSE.

“i’m not into your type.” “what? asians?” and ellie going along w it LMAO this is just witty banter between 2 friends and it’s really refreshing after being alone for so long

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYYY

this bookstore is giving me flashbacks to the first game

THE MUSHROOMS IN THE KIDS AREA💀

😭😭😭😭

THE NOTE ON THE BACK BETWEEN THE MOM AND KID TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY MISS SOMEONE SHUT UUUUP😭😭

it’s little things like this that can add SO MUCH to the environment i love them and adore them

the graphics are fucking insane

this all looks so real

the reflections in the water are B O N K E R S

so good

JESSE TALKING ABOUT DRINKING AND PLAYING BOARD GAMES WHEN THEY GET BACK😭😭😭😭😭😭

ya’ll this game is so gorgeous

and this storm comin in?? WOOOOOO it’s gonna get INTENSE

also according to the game i’ve played 21 hrs? which is kinda false bc i leave it paused for a long time whenever i go do something so that’s not entirely accurate but it’s still fairly close

SNIPER SPOTTED AT THE MARINA??? TOMMY????

“the best way to help tommy, is to go after abby.” THE WAY JESSE LOOKS AT HER LIKE “girl be fuckin for real”

ellie’s chompin at the bit bc she’s looking at a ticket for a straigh shot to the aquarium

but tommy is def more important atm

they are sending UNITS for ONE MAN

help your uncle ellie jesus

jesse looks pissed

“you do this, i’m not saving your ass again.” ELLIE WHEN DID YOU? JESSE came TO YOU in hillcrest??

elliiieeeeeeeeee abby can wait girl

jesse is not happy w her rn

WATER STEALTH WOOOOO

that was fun! i really like the silencer it’s a PHENOMENAL addition to the stealth gameplay

BOAT TIME

now who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to let ME drive a boat

naughty dog and i have a complicated history with water vehicles

YEA I’M LOOKIN AT YOU UNCHARTED 1

FUCK YOU AND YOUR JET SKI BULLSHIT

OH MY GOD THE ICE CREAM TRUCK😭

i like how ellie’s hair is really floppy now bc it’s fuckin soaked

ANUTHA CARD BABYYY

the thunder sounds so fuckin good the sound design for this game goes CRAZYY

NEW JOURNAL ENTRYYY WOOOO

“abby i begged you to stop. you brought this on yourself.” jesus ellie

SAFE COMBO WOOO

what the fuck does a bitch have to do to get fuckin tape around here jesus christ

A BITCH JUST FOUND SOME TAPE FUCK YEAAAAAA

oh my god. these letters to jules started back in the fucking subway where you fight a shambler for the first time

before the fucking theater… goddamn

he set out to find the seraphites and he sure fuckin did

holy shit

so if you are to be part of the seraphites, you shave your head, give yourself scars, and you’re given a new name.

holy fuckin shit this is CULTY

searching this derailed train is fuckin sick

another misha letter lmao

okay i am someone that HATES storms like i have so many bad memories and shit associated w storms

one too many close calls w a tornado will do that to you

so the level of tension is DOUBLED for me when going through these buildings on the boat and this music keeps crescendoing while this storm goes fuckin crazy

THAT’S A BLOATER

THAT’S A GODDAMN BLOATER

LONG TIME NO SEE

FUCK OFF PLEASE

THAT WAS SO FUCKIN SCARY

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYYYYY

oh my god

oh my god the ferris wheel is right fuckin there

I’M JUST GOING OUT INTO THE OCEAN???

SOME OF MY WORST FEARS ARE MIXING RN

THALASSOPHOBIA AND STORMS DO NOT MIX WELL

FUUUUUCK THE BOAT GOT SWEPT AWAY

EEWWWWWWWWW I HATE THIS

CLIMB ELLIE CLIMB

oh my god the fucking lightning behind the ferris wheel and ellie standing in the foreground, wind blowing her hair

IT’S RIGHT THERE

I’M SO SCARED

oh my god i’m at the doors to the fucking aquarium

THIS MUSIC IS SO INTENSE I’M GONNA THROW UP

THE FUCKING SHARK IN THE WINDOW JUMP SCARED ME ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME UUUUGH

i’m in…

i fucking HATE this

i literally am so fucking scared of the ocean all of these exhibits that i’m having to go through are making me wanna scream and run the other direction dude

into the vents…

THE DOG

I’M SORRY TO THIS DOG AND ALL THE OTHERS AHHHHHHHH I’M SORRY

OH SHIT THIS IS ALL THEIR SLEEPING BAGS

OWEN’S TAGS OHHHHHHH SHIT

ellie is breathing SO HEAVILY

to be fair i am too jfc

the atmosphere is insane

OH MY GOD IT’S OWEN AND MEL

MEL LOOKS SO SCARED SHE’S LITERALLT SHAKING

FUUUUCK MAN

OH MY GOD ELLIE’S USING THE MAP TACTIC LIKE JOEL AND TOMMY

oh no. ohhhh no.

fuuuck owen saying “she’s pregnant.”

fuuuuck.

oh shit it’s tommy! and jesse!

but also FUCK

THE MAAAAP.

THE MAP.

THE FUCKING MAP.

GODDAMNIT

ENDING THAT SCENE W MEL’S BLOOD POOLING TOWARD THE MAP AND THEN CUTTING TO DINA????

FUUUUCK MAN. THAT’S GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE.

BUT ALSO, NO IT’S FUCKING NOT

the way ellie’s looking at her🥺

ELLIE MOVING AWAY WHILE DINA REACHES FOR HER 😭😭😭😭😭

FUCK AAWWWWFFFFFFFFF

awe dina took the sorority secrets book 🥹

WAIT. AM I ABOUT TO FIGHT ABBY?? WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

I’M SCARED

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

LIKE THAT SCENE FROM THE PUNISHER THAT’S ME RN

NO TOMMY’S GOING TO GRAB SOMETHING FROM THE MAIN ENTRANCE

THIS IS DEFINITELY IT

OHHHHH FUCK

I’M SCARED TOMMY COME BACK I JUST GOT YOU BACK PLEASE DON’T LEAVE

“my friend’s problems are my problems” I LOVE HIMMMMMM

“my friends can’t get out of their own damn way” HE’S SO- AHHHHHHHH

I LOVE JESSE

FUUUUUCK THERE WERE THUDS AND NOW THEY’RE RUNNING

FUUUCK OFF

jesse’s gone.

F U C K.

FUCK

AGAIN. I AM PART OF THE LAURA BAILEY FAN CLUB WHICH LIAM O’BRIEN IS THE PRESIDENT OF

SHE’S GIVING A PHENOMENAL PERFORMANCE

WITHOUT SEEING ABBY’S SIDE OF THE STORY YET, I’M PISSED AT HER. I DON’T LIKE HER.

BUT I HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO KNOW HER YET

SO WE’LL SEE

BUT AS OF RIGHT NOW, I WANNA HIT HER REAL FUCKIN HARD

THIS IS WHEN IT SWITCHES TO HER GAMEPLAY???

HUH????

FUUUUUUUUCK BRO.

RIGHT AFTER JESSE? AFTER JOEL? AS SHE JUST KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF TOMMY?

FFFFUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK

AGAIN, I LOVE AND ADORE LAURA BAILEY AND I WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO

okay listen i’m not doing this bc i’m mad at the story or anything

but i’m ending my session for the day haha

i started at fuckin 11:25am and it is now midnight LMAO

there were many breaks in there but i still played A LOT today and i have a fuckin migraine so i’m gonna go the fuck to sleep

i’ll play tomorrow maybe but we’ll see

this post was hella long so if you made it all the way down here, bless you. i love you. i hope you are staying safe.

new episode tomorrow!!

#BIG SESSION LOG #QUITE LONG #QUITE BIG #so yknow #haha #i played for a L O N G time tho so it makes sense that it’s this long #ANYWAY #the last of us spoilers #the last of us part two spoilers #the last of us part ii spoilers #the last of us part 2 spoilers #tlou spoilers #tlou part ii spoilers #tlou part 2 spoilers #tlou part two spoilers #the last of us part two #the last of us part ii #the last of us part 2 #the last of us #mads plays the last of us!🌿 #mads plays the last of us part ii!🍃

[x3rrorx]

Catching up on everything that's been happening recently.

Juli will kiss ass of whoever she needs to for her benefit at the time, and the fact that she has grown ass adults defending her behaviour that seem oblivious to her antics is insane (who all incidently also interact with the ex). I'm sure this sweet little good time girl they all see is in there somewhere, but jfc the number of times she gets called out by people (including the very band they all worship!) is beyond a joke. And at some point you have to take a step back and realise that it can't all boil down to jealousy, or is Matt meant to be jealous of her too? Wake the fuck up and realise there's a common denominator! And honestly some of the people in that circle seem like decent people but get tarnished by association.

And then there's just all her constant bullshit.

One minute she's going to Europe for CF, then she isn't because it would cost too much.

Then she's going to the Vancouver show to see her bestie, then she isn't because it would cost too much.

But she still managed to go to all the other shows and pay for VIP for all of them (didn't she say one was $200?) so cost clearly wasn't THAT much of an issue (if the "bestie" can't see that then idk). Especially not when she's practically boasting about her credit card debt (weird flex for anyone, let alone an 18 year old!).

Then she claimed she was going to do goofy poses in her m&g but all her pictures are exactly the same pose because all she does is talk.

The whole thing with threatening a Sumerian employee? The opportunity was apparently there for her to make her point in person but instead she comes on twitter and talks about what she could have done. And was the problem with the video on their instagram the comments or the fact she wasn't being paid? Because those comments that were apparently hurting her so badly would have still existed if they had approached her and she'd profited from it. But does that then make it worth it for her?

And what about the email she published on her twitter asking Sumerian for work experience or a job? One minute she's bad mouthing them and the next she's licking ass to try and get into the industry and then when they don't get back to her she's back to bad mouthing them again. Which I suppose takes me back to my original point.

The thing Juli (or someone close to her) needs to realise is that things follow you through life. I don't know her, and she could indeed be incredibly sweet, but that's not the image she portrays online. She comes off as being problematic and the level of documentation out there relating to her dramas isn't going anywhere, it's all over twitter, tumblr, reddit, who knows where else. Hell, I don't even follow her but the drama always makes its way to my timeline, or her posts her all over my fyp. And tweeting and deleting only works to an extent. She has a reputation and it's far from a good one. The level of hate some people have towards her isn't warranted, but the fact that she's so disliked within multiple communities she's a part of isn't a coincidence, neither is the fact that everyone automatically assumed Matt's tweet was about her. Being young can only be an excuse for so long and she's way past that point, she knows what she's doing and has insane main character syndrome.

It's completely possible to enjoy music, bands, going to multiple shows on tour etc. without becoming public enemy number one and creating drama at every turn. The problem is she's never held accountable by anyone close to her, they just continue to enable her. If people close to her truly cared about her they'd realise they need to intervene before she ruins her life (with debt and an inescapable reputation) because she won't be 18 forever.

Not every criticism comes from a place of hate or jealousy. Some comes from a place of worry, because if my friend or family member was putting everything out there Juli is/has, or was acting like she does and getting the reaction she does I'd be deeply concerned. Do all her adult friends that defend her not stop and seriously question what's going on with her? Like, it's great she's got no responsibilities and is having fun (is she really with all the shit she gets?) but the amount of debt she's in would be worrying enough for some people with a full time well paid job, let alone an 18 year old who I'm guessing is still being paid similarly to when she was at Starbucks. Great she has no rent/mortgage to pay and her parents help with her car payments but she's literally spending money she doesn't have and learning no accountability. It's worrying.

And so concludes my TED talk.

Appreciate the TED talk 👏🏻👏🏻

[dontjudgemebymykpoptrash]

So uh... guess who dropped $600 and overdrafted their account to get two meet and greet sessions with A.C.E?

#worth it #i have no ragrets #ramen 4lyfe #broke life 5ever #also i am so nervous i want to vomit #a.c.e #undercover world tour #mad squad #meet and greet #rip my wallet #someone take my cards from me jfc #i didn't even think about it i just panicked and bought both stops im going to #i was shaking uncontrollably