#sorry for the shitty poem that is not a poem just my thoughts phrases as a second grader

[librarycards]

do you have any advice or resources for people who are new to poetry reading/writing and want to get into it more seriously? i feel like i don’t even know where to start and lit magazines seem so intimidating but i want to learn how to write more poetically and how to appreciate poetry more. sorry if this has been asked before!

hi there! this is a great question and i do have some resources for you.

first things first: you need a gateway poem/poet. I recommend beginning by checking out some of these poetry books, all of which have poems which can also be found for free online. there's no need to rush, here. feel free to take a poem a day or a poem a week, sit with it, reread it, and let your mind wander with it. keep a notebook next to you - you'd be surprised at how quickly the urge / inspiration to write will creep up on you. even if you just want to take notes on a turn of phrase you like, this is a great way to introduce yourself to poetry as a new structure of thinking, rather than just another kind of writing.

Here's an example poem, Sci-Fi by Tracy K. Smith. Her pulitzer-winning collection, "Life on Mars," was a gateway collection for me, and this poem still brings me to tears.

Relatedly, much like the Poetry Foundation site, lit mags - while intimidating - are a great place to read free poetry, to get a taste of a particular writer without buying a book. if you find a writer you like, check out their bylines and look at their website: most professional writers will have some kind of CV or portfolio online, and clicking through those will introduce you not only to more poems you like, but also to new magazines to read. again, there are way too many lit mags out there to look at every one you might possibly like, but you'll certainly find yourself returning again and again to a handful. from here, you can get a good idea of the images and styles you're drawn to as a reader.

i recommend starting just by signing up for a couple lit mag newsletters after browsing their poetry archives - Split Lip Magazine, Palette Poetry, and The Commuter from Electric Lit all have solid newsletters and extensive archives. I also love poking around the archives of wildness, Tinderbox Poetry, BOAAT, and Peach Mag. remember that hanging out in lit mag spaces shouldn't be a "job" - it should be something fun you do to find inspiration and enjoy peoples' creativity.

once you've got your reading rotation going, you might just start writing your own riffs naturally. i can't stress enough the importance of keeping notes for spare phrases and ideas that these poems share with you, and for wandering thoughts in general. i've had so many of these that turn into full fledged, submittable poems! this is how most of my poems start! ultimately, remember that poetry is a dialogue: you learn to "do" poetry by working with those already doing it.

if you want a quick way to jumpstart your side of the dialogue process, consider a simple mini-workshop: find a poem to close-read and annotate, and then assign yourself a certain period of time to write something "after" it. free-write, don't worry about form or polish. just give yourself, say, 20 minutes of complete freedom with the work.

keep in mind what you've seen others do that you've liked, disliked. remember that poets constantly steal, remix, and recycle. remember you can borrow lines and concepts. remember that you can also mix and match them. and don't forget to keep practicing.

poetry itself is a practice, one that involves breaking and rebuilding the way you see the world. don't expect this complete transformation to happen quickly or on a certain schedule. i began my engagement with poetry by reading little and trying far too hard in my writing. i made a lot of shitty poems. now, i read significantly more than i write, and i try to read as widely as possible. the poems i do write are significantly less shitty than before. all of this was only possible by consuming other peoples' transformative wordwork and allowing it to marinate with the rest of my brain.

persistent absorption, if left alone, will let poems condensate inside of you. write them out. lose the inhibitions. no one needs to see the poems but you. at the same time, sometimes it's what you write when you assume no one should see, that you most want to send into the world.

#i hope this helps! it really just is a years long process of reading and writing and reading and writing etc #writing #ask #anonymous

[draayder]

now that I’m home I can do @majimemegoro yakuza fic title thing and I’m gonna go oldest to newest, and MOST of these are rated E so heads up also this got super long sorry

Release - just the double meaning on release (as in getting out of jail) and release (as in busting a nut)

Kind of a Monster - nothing special here just monster Majima

Ticket to Ride - this is technically named after the board game about setting up train networks lmao, but is once again a horny and obvious double meaning on ride

Borrowed Time - nothing special

Doubled Dragon - like the beat ‘em up Double Dragon, but about Kiryu getting DP’d

Ouroboros - snake eating its own tail seemed close enough to 69ing for me

Monster Mash - yeah just the song Monster Mash, because two monsters are boning

Retreat - a follow-up to Release, I had the idea of keeping the Re- part and this is the double between retreat (as in a vacation out in the woods) and retreat (as in pulling away from each other)

Devil May Care - the worst title lmao, just a riff on devil may cry (the phrase not the game)

Okinawa Dreaming - I think this was vaguely like, California Dreamin’ but I actually don’t know that song at all and it just sounded nice. a lot of my titles are literally made as I’m uploading to ao3 lmao

Cross Your Heart and Hope to Die - I have a whole infodump on the title on the notes of my last chapter, but tl;dr I found an extended poem for the phrase that was a lot of breaking promises to save someone you love even if they hate you for it, as well as, ya know, stick a needle in my eye being Majima Relevant. one of the titles I thought the most about

Pretty Little Things - not really a reference to anything in particular, it just sounded nice 

Two for One Special - two dicks!

Bullet Drop - also one I explained before somewhat, bullet drop is the difference between where you aim a gun and where the bullet actually goes due to gravity and friction and all that, so basically unintended consequences of actions which was thematically relevant 

Beads on a String - just needed a name honestly 

Warming Up - it’s winter and it’s comfy and it’s literally a warm up for a fight lol

In The B(l)uff - ya know like. in the buff (naked) and bluff (bluffing). there’s not much else to say!

Majima and Kiryu play mahjong and touch dicks - well you see, it might not be obvious, but in this fic Majima and Kiryu play mahjong and touch dicks. I hope this helps. this is still the funniest fic to get kudos emails about because it catches me off guard every single time

Essence of Slappin’ ‘n’ Clappin’ - Saejima gets that bald head slapped and those cheeks clapped and it’s not my fault. it’s not my fault

The Line Between a Riot and an Orgy - my friend’s OC is Sarugasawa Ranjou and orgy is 乱交 (Rankou) and Saru's given name is 乱丈 (Ranjou) and they wanted a fic based on that and who am I to say no

Smoke Breaks - cause it’s little stuff I didn’t want to dedicate to a whole fic (which honestly I kind of wish I had thrown the Nishiki/Saejima stuff into its own fic cause I keep writing more of that lmao)

RGGPG 1: Epilogue - it’s the epilogue to the first TTRPG version of yakuza I ran with some friends. exactly what it says on the tin

Spellbound - another one I titled as I was uploading it lmao, it worked with the general idea of Okita chalking Ryoma being hot up to literal witchcraft 

The Devil He Knows - themes! preferring a shitty situation you’re familiar with rather than risking one that might be worse (but also might be better)! Saejima jumping right into jail again! Majima pushing people away! Neither of them wanting to make a move for fear of fucking their current situation up! also, Majima having the Hannya tattoo and demonfire dagger and such makes him somewhat the titular devil as well ,)

#my fics #my art #long post

[the-resurrection-3d]

Writer ask game, p, r, t

Sorry to make you wait! Just finished the first scene of this shitty SU fic lolol

Anyway!

P: What’s your biggest writing flaw?  

My first thought is my lack of setting detail, but I think that’s just a big symptom of my real writing flaw of assuming too much of the reader, or otherwise disregarding the presence of a reader entirely. It’s fun to have that kind of “don’t give a fuck” attitude, but if no one else understands your work, that means no one else can ever fully like your work, either. 

R: What’s your writing set-up like?

More often than not I’m on a couch with either my laptop or some pencil and paper -- honestly, I prefer writing long-handed in a thick old 3-subject journal Noah gave to me, it allows me to keep up with my own thinking speed better than I can typing. Papers are almost always all over the floor - right now my dog Blaze is asleep at my feet, though, so I can’t very well dump shit on him. Always some kind of snack on my right and a coke on my left -- right now I have a cup of sweet tea, a bottle of water, and a can of coke zero all right next to me. 

If I’m not watching teen mom in another tab, I’m listening to music, just to remain optimally stimulated. If I’m really having a hard time focusing, I put on something like MTV Scream because I hate it so much I’ll work just to not pay attention to it. :P

T: Do you believe in writer’s block?

“Believe” is such a weird way of phrasing it, lol -- how do you not believe in something plenty of people experience firsthand? I experience a lot of writer’s block, though usually because either I’m ashamed of my writing, which was happening a lot before midterms, or because I’m burnt out, which has been the case for the last few weeks because I’ve had to churn out so many essays, including for publications. 

Forcing myself to do something obviously cringey is a good way of pushing through the former, hence why shit like Horseshoe’s Daughter exists. Sometimes you really just have to tell your self-loathing to gargle your cock. 

My other issue, though, and this extends to reading as well, is that school has basically made all the writing and reading I do part of some greater obligation, and it makes it hard to write/read in my downtime because why would I wanna do more work? Why would I read X when Y is a classic book! Great Authors Read Classics, Don’t You Wanna Be a Great Author? In this case, you need to remind yourself that no writing is wasted, even if all it did was help you blow off steam and keep you from getting bored -- and furthermore, try to move forward by either changing projects or reframing a project in a more rebellious lens. Even taking a day off to write some silly poetry can really revitalize your creativity.

For example, not too long ago I had to revise two different very long, very complex essays for publication in the same week. In-between them, I took a series of interconnected flash fiction I’d written at the start of the year and lightly revised and reformatted them into a poem, because get it? hack poetry is just hitting the enter bar a bunch of times, and it’s fun being a hack! Tell Rupi Kaur I’m comin’ for that crown. 

Not only did I feel better, but I got to deconstruct my fiction and see the patterns I’d put into each piece more clearly, as well as what new pieces were needed. And I got both essays done! 

#Anonymous

[amazingmsme]

The Spider’s Out of the Bag

So this fic’s been done for months but it was back when this shitty ass hellsite made the new rule about mobile posts being a certain length, and this was back when I posted on mobile. I originally planned on posting it in three parts because of this, but after the first part didn’t receive the feedback I was hoping for, I forgot about it. Well, here it is in its entirety. 

Peter hadn't been getting much sleep and it was starting to show. He was always run down, which resulted in him being less than his normal cheery self. He was probably only averaging three to four hours of sleep a night.

"Dude, when's the last time you had a full night's rest?" Ned asked, slowly spinning on the computer chair. Peter looked up at him, shrugging, "I've been running on Five Hour Energy all day, no stopping now." Ned simply stared at his friend, not really knowing what to say. "What?"

"Peter, that's not good. That stuff isn't just supposed to be chugged like it's water, you need sleep." Peter made a face, hanging upside down from his bunk bed and crossing his arms.

"I can't! I have so much school work and Avengers training, and that's not even counting when I'm working in the city. And when I get in bed I usually still have all that adrenaline in my system, so it's hard to fall asleep."

"Are you tired right now? I can try and help you fall asleep 'cause you look like you're about to drop dead." Peter scoffed, "Is it that bad?"

"You know you're my best friend and I would never say anything to personally offend you, but you look like pure shit. Like, it literally looks like someone took an ice cream scooper and dug the circles out from under your eyes." Peter couldn't help but to smirk at his friend's description. "Anything else?"

"Your hair's constantly messy because you keep running your hands through it like a depressed middle aged suburban mom."

"That's oddly specific. How many depressed middle aged suburban mothers do you know?"

"More than you would think," he said, staring off in the distance as though he was having war flashbacks. He blinked hard, coming back to reality. "But seriously, is there anything I could do to help out, maybe help you relax, I could make you some tea..."

"Ned, I'm fine, you don't have to do anything. Buuuut-" he began to grin, something coming to his mind. "But what?" Ned prompted, hoping for an answer. "Buuuuut a massage would be nice," he said, tilting his head & batting his eyes. Peter climbed down from the bunk and laid down, letting his friend knead into the muscle. Peter practically melted underneath the touch.

"Oh man, I almost forgot how good it feels to just relax." he said, sighing contently. "How hard is Mr. Stark pushing you?" Ned asked, concern clear in his voice.

"He's not really pushing me that hard. It's more myself forcing me to do my best," he admitted. "Once I get going, I just, don't know how to stop." Ned was about to reply when suddenly Peter jerked away from his hand as if it was a hot rod. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"

Peter shook his head, "No, no I'm fine." Ned nodded and continued rubbing his back, but couldn't help but notice how he flinched away yet again. It all began to click and Ned couldn't hold back his grin, "I think I know of a way to make you tired." Before he could question him, he began squeezing up and down his sides, throwing him into hysterics.

"Nehehehed, whahahat are you dohohoing?" Peter managed to say through his laughter, his friend not stopping his work.

"I'm trying to tire you out. If you don't have any energy, you can't stay awake. This is for your own good Peter," he spoke, trying to remain serious but ultimately failed upon hearing his bright infectious laughter. He worked his fingers underneath his arms, lightly scratching at the hollows, making Peter erupt into screams and pleads.

"I'll tell you what Peter, let's make a deal. I'll stop if you finally get some rest. Deal?"

"Deheheal! Deal!" Ned stopped and helped him into a sitting position. Ned looked at him, "Do you think you can get some sleep?" Peter chuckled, "After that I might. My neck's still a bit sore though." Ned was about to offer to help but Peter cut him off, "No. If you think I'd let you help after pulling something like that you're sadly mistaken."

He grinned at him, "Alright, that's understandable. But I hope you know I plan on using this against you." He let out a groan, flopping face first into his pillows, his voice muffled, "You suck."

He gave a sly grin and shrugged even though he couldn't see him. "I'm just doing what's best for my friend."

Peter couldn't help but to smile into his blankets. Maybe this wasn't so bad.

~~~~

Peter had been having frequent study sessions with MJ ever since she had become captain and they started talking more. He refused to call it a study "date" since he was sure Michelle didn't like him(or anyone for that matter) like that.

"How much salt is in the average adult human body?" MJ asked, hiding the answer from Peter whilst waiting for his response.

"Easy, 250 grams," he said without even looking up. She nodded her approval, "Correct. Next question: In Blake's poem, the phrase, "unbuckled was the shield," is an example of-"

"Inverted syntax. C'mon MJ I thought you said you had tough questions for me," he smirked, looking up to meet her gaze. Before she could respond with what he was sure would be a smart remark, an alarm went off on his phone.

"What's that for?" she asked, craning her neck to look at the screen.

"Oh, uh, that's just my alarm," he said, silencing it. "This is usually the time I do my workout." She scoffed, looking him up and down, "You workout?" He nodded, "Mhm." He stood there awkwardly, not sure of what to do with himself. "Uh, would you mind if I do some stuff while we study? I won't get distracted I swear," he promised, knowing she wanted him to focus on the material. "I guess," she shrugged and he made his way to his bunk, hanging upside down and beginning to do sit ups.

"Exercise disgusts me," she said, turning her head away to look back at the flash cards. After answering a few questions and doing 100 sit ups, he climbed back down, sitting on his knees. Michelle looked up at him, noticing how he hadn't even broken a sweat. He looked around awkwardly, "Uh, would you mind sitting on my back?"

"What?"

"Like for extra weight an' stuff."

She tilted her head back, looking at him. "Are you calling me fat?" His eyes flew wide open, and he stuttered over his words, worried that he had offended her and trying to correct his mistake, "No! Absolutely not, I'd never say that about any girl and-"

"It's okay, I was just fucking with you," she waved her hand dismissively, smiling at him. He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "So... will you?"

"Oh, you were actually serious? Um, okay." Peter laid on his stomach and waited for MJ to climb on his back. Once she did, he asked, "Can you grab a few textbooks and hold them in your lap?" She nodded, reaching over and getting the biggest ones she could find. "You sure you can answer questions while doing push-ups?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I can barely do push-ups even without having to do math," MJ said, playing with the index cards in her hand. Peter smirked to himself, pushing himself up. His arms shook in an exaggerated manner as he faked a lack of strength. "If it's that hard for you Peter I can get off," she supplied, buying his act.

"Nah, I'm good," he said, suddenly able to do perfect push-ups. MJ, shocked at the quick change of pace, placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. "Can you start a timer for 10 minutes?" he asked, " And read some more questions?" She complied, setting up her phone timer and reading him questions that he easily answered. She let out a sigh, placing her head in her hands. Sitting on someone constantly moving up and down isn't exactly fun, even when studying.

"Just how many push-ups can you do?" Peter paused for a second before continuing, "Don't know. I get too distracted to keep track, so I just set up a timer."

"I bet you've already done a thousand."

"Probably."

"Are you even tired?" She'd be lying if she said she wasn't at least a little bit impressed, but no one needs to know. He shook his head, "Not really."

"What are you, steel?" she joked, poking his side. He let out a laugh that he tried to disguise as a scoff, "Noho, I'm completely human," he defended himself. His reaction didn't go unnoticed by MJ however. When he pushed himself up once more, she let herself fall forward, using Peter to brace herself. Her hands gently clasped his sides, and her fingers curled underneath his arms. He let out a small gasp, trying to cover it with a huff of air. "You okay Peter?" she asked, fully aware of what she had done. He nodded and swallowed thickly, "Yeah."

When he tried again, MJ's fingers were back on his body, this time with more intent. Peter struggled to keep himself from falling to the floor, "MJ whahahat are you dohohoing?" he cried through his laughter.

"Why didn't you tell me you were ticklish?" she asked, ignoring his question.

"Ihihit's not exactly aha normal conversation to hahave," he managed to say. She tweaked his ribs, eliciting a squeak. "But we're friends, and friends don't keep things from each other, riiiight Peter?" He shook his head back and forth, trying to escape her maddening touch. "No? What other secrets are you hiding Peter?" she teased, scribbling her nails over the back of his neck.

"AH! MJ nohohoho," he giggled, and fell to the floor, MJ easily pinning him beneath her body. She grinned down at him from her position up above, "I wonder if you can answer questions while I tickle you mercilessly," she pondered aloud, an evil glint in her eyes.

"Youhu don't have to do this!" he pleaded, already laughing from the anticipation.

"Yes I do," she said, eying him like a lion looking over its prey. "If you tell me where you're most ticklish I'll go easy on you. Maybe."

"Whahat? Nohoho," he protested, trying to squirm away. MJ tilted her head quizzically, "No? Oh well, more fun for me," she shrugged and set to work, scratching her nails along his sides dragging out a loud screech.

"How about you answer five questions correctly and I'll stop."

"Thahahat's mehehean!"

"Thank you. I can't let people think I'm actually nice."

"MJ plehehehease!" She rolled her eyes, scratching her nails across the muscles on his stomach, "Oh alright, one question. But you have to get it right." She moved down, digging her thumbs into the hip bone causing him to buck violently.

"Do you like me?" she asked, hoping he was too out of his mind to read too much into the question. Ned had been their messenger back and forth and told her to come clean or he would do it for her, and she just couldn't do that. So she took matters into her own hands, quite literally.

"Yehehes okay?"

She stopped, somewhat in shock, and looked down at him. "You- did you hear what I said?" He nodded, panting and trying to catch his breath. "You ahasked if I liked you."

"You do know I meant more than a friend, don't you?" His cheeks turned a bright shade of red and he looked down, "I had hoped that's what you meant."

Without thinking MJ leaned forward and shoved their lips together in a kiss, leaving both of them in a blissful state for the rest of the night.

~~~~

If someone had told Peter that his hero and role model would become close to him he would've called them crazy, yet here he was. Sure they weren't the closest, but they were getting closer with each mission and training session they had together, and Tony even invited him to just hang out on more than one occasion. Like now.

Peter didn't know what to expect when he received a text from Tony asking what he was doing after patrol. He honestly thought he was going on another mission, but when Tony told him he just wanted to talk and check in with him, he was pleasantly surprised. When the fancy sports car came to pick him up, he couldn't help but smile to himself. It always made him feel a little special getting to ride in such luxury, seeing as he never before had the chance to. He let his grin grow wider once he saw Tony in the backseat waiting for him.

It had taken him a while to feel comfortable enough around Tony to not be nervous all the time, but he had finally learned to relax a little. It still took him a few minutes to adjust to his presence, so he was still a little tense in the car. He relaxed a bit once they reached the compound. Peter's stomach growled loudly as they walked down the hall.

"Hungry?" Tony asked, seemingly amused.

"Uh, yeah," Peter answered a bit sheepishly.

"That's okay, we have food in the kitchen. But I won't make you anything, you're old enough to fend for yourself," Tony said with a smirk, ruffling his hair. Peter chuckled, smoothing it back down, "I think I can manage without you."

"Don't forget who gave you the suit kid," Tony said with a jab to his side. Peter yelped and jumped away, earning a side look from Tony. It didn't take long for him to realized what happened and he smirked, poking him again, "Ticklish?"

"N-no," Peter stuttered, trying to subtly take a step back. "Remember what I said about lying to me," he said in a jokingly stern voice.

"I-it's not a lie!"

"Really? 'Cause that squeak says otherwise," he teased and Peter's head snapped towards him. "I didn't squeak!" His voice came out an octave higher than he would've liked it to. Tony gave him a kind smile and patted his shoulder, "Relax, it's fine. Between you and me I once heard Thor shriek like a banshee." Peter couldn't help the way his face lit up with amusement when he heard that, "Really?"

Tony nodded, "Oh yeah. But don't tell him I told you, he'd probably kill me." Peter made the universal signal for sealing his lips. "And feel free to help yourself to whatever's in the fridge. Oh, and one more thing," he started and Peter turned his attention towards him. "Hm?"

"If you tell him I told you, don't think I don't know how to get you back," Tony said with a mischievous smile as he wiggled his fingers in his direction. Peter's face burned a bright red as Tony chuckled.

"You're never gonna let me live that down are you?"

Tony's smile was blinding, "Nope."

Peter groaned as he opened the fridge. He swore these people were going to be the death of him.

#spiderman #peter parker #tony stark #tony & peter #ned leeds #mj #michelle jones #avengers #avengers fic #avengers tickle fic #ticklish!peter #spiderman fic #spiderman tickle fic

[musingmycelium]

sweet song

satinalia exchange gift for a good friend ;) im so glad i got to write this for you!! ❤❤❤

Krem's lucky he has good balance. With the way the chair wobbles under him as he tries, mostly unsuccessfully, to peer around the stairs to watch Maryden sing he needs to have it. And he can’t help but look. The firelight almost causes her skin to glow rosy gold, catches in her dark hair and the way her eyes shine as she sings, it's enough to-

Wood creaks under him as Krem all but topples backward off the top of the chair. Catching himself with a hand in the last moment, wrist aching as his hand connects with the wall at an awkward angle, and he can hear Bull’s laugh across the room. Bastard.

It isn’t like Bull hasn’t made a fool of himself in front of people before. Although Krem guesses those are more on purpose than not. He sighs, rights the chair and sits back down in it, properly this time. He can’t see her anymore, but if he’s telling the truth he doesn’t really need to. The sight of her before the fire is, distracting and definitely something he thinks about often. Not that Krem has done anything about the way her voice filling the tavern makes his chest feel too tight and too light, or said anything about how her smiles can cause a blush to cover his whole body.

Not yet, anyway. Krem has a plan, and he means to follow through with it. He just… Has to figure out how. Time’s running quite short, tonight there’s going to be a small Satinalia party at the Herald’s Rest and Krem still doesn’t know what he should get Maryden, or even if she’d accept anything from him.

At first, he thought it would be easy. She’s a minstrel, get her a journal or a new set of strings for her lute. But those sounded empty and Krem wants to be thoughtful damn it. He wants to see Maryden blush, he wants to make her smile, he wants to see the softness in her eyes generally reserved for those times she’s singing to be directed just at him.

So he sighs. And he walks over to where Bull is sitting at a table with what has to be the Rest’s largest tankard sitting in front of him. And as Krem rounds the corner he finds Dorian is sitting there as well, great. “Krem-puff! Finally decided to find a decent chair did you?”

“My chair is already decent, I’ve got a question.” There’s a nervousness gnawing in the pit of his stomach and Krem doesn’t care for it one bit. But he takes Bull’s raised eyebrow for a go ahead and strangles the butterflies in his gut. “Uh, so. The Satinalia party, tonight.” His tongue is twisting around itself and Krem thinks maybe he should just go outside and pretend he never heard of this party instead of asking Bull for romance advice. “I, uh, wanted to -you know- get a present, a thoughtful present but... I, uh, don’t actually know what to get… Her…”

Raising his own, much smaller glass Dorian gives Krem a verifiable look. One elegant eyebrow raised ever so slightly, glass tipped in Krem's direction, red wine nearly spilling but not quite. “Thoughtful presents generally require more than an afternoon’s work.”

“I didn’t ask you Altus.” Krem gives him a look back.

Bull just nods, as if he was almost expecting this of them and Krem narrows his eyes at him too. “Listen Chief I didn’t come over here for bullshit I w-”

He’s cut off with a laugh, Bull shaking his head slightly. “Nah no bullshit, this is important.” At least he looks like he’s going to be serious, with the way his face scrunches up. “Well, Krem-sickle, the first thing about getting someone a gift is you gotta know what they want. Don’t look at me like that- so you know she likes writing and singing since you watch her do that every day. Do you know, anything else about her?”

Krem opens his mouth to say ‘of course he does’ and then shuts it after he can’t think of a single other thing he knows she enjoys. His brows bunch together and he crinkles his nose. Bull watches him think in silence, a smirk forming on his face. “I know she likes writing and singing, it’s not like there’s much else to do here is there. I thought, maybe she’d like a new journal?” Saying it out loud makes him cringe. It’s so insincere, careless almost. “That sounds stupid, doesn’t it. But I don’t know what else to do.”

Bull keeps nodding and Krem’s stomach is in knots. “She’d appreciate it, new journal new quill, something to use.”

Before he can keep going Dorian interrupts with a snort. “Get her something no one else can.” A delicate sip of his wine, eyes looking over the rim at Krem. “Woo her, you’re a sharp young man surely you can think of something. Read her poetry, pick her flowers, write her something. Creative types drink it up.”

If his knee-jerk reaction is anything to go by this is a horrible idea. Everything from his hair to his toes is going numb at the thought of it. Him? Writing poetry? Picking flowers? Krem almost tells Dorian he’d rather run himself through with a rusty training sword but then he stops to think about it. It was what he wanted to do, wasn’t it? Put thought into a gift Maryden would remember and hopefully enjoy.

And if he makes a fool of himself maybe he could recover from that.

Or maybe he could also fake his death and make a new start in Antiva.

“That’s. Not bad Altus, not bad.” Never let it be said Krem was too proud to give credit where it’s due. Even if it does curdle the words in his mouth. He has a couple of hours, it wouldn’t take him too long to do something like that, would it? Better get started now just in case, Krem leaves the table with a nod in the direction of the other two still sitting there.

The party starts at sundown, Krem heads to his room and hunts down some paper and a quill. If he’s quick he might even be able to get there before the others and give it to her without anyone else seeing. And he’ll be quick, even with his stomach trying to turn itself inside out, Krem can do this!

He absolutely could not do this. Crumpled paper is scattered about his room, in various states of tatter, and a near-empty bottle of ink rests near his elbow. This is hopeless, Maryden does this for a living she wouldn’t want whatever half-assed shitty poem he could cobble together like a child. What an idiot he is, sitting here with ink stains on his hands, he’s a mercenary what in Andraste’s name is he doing trying to write poetry ?

Krem groans, wads up the paper he was currently using and throws it backward behind him, not wanting to look at the ugly chicken scratches and horribly clunky phrasing any longer. Drops his head onto the desk, hard wood against his skin. All he wanted was a simple present! How did he manage to muck it up so badly?

There’s a cool breeze coming from the direction of the door and Krem turns sharply towards it, not wanting anyone to see the mess he’s made. But there isn’t anyone there. Krem huffs, relieved and embarrassed and definitely probably almost late for the party. He stands, stretches, maybe he just shouldn’t get Maryden anything after all. She could do better than him anyway.

A ghost of a thought across his mind, ‘but she wants you’ . Krem rolls his eyes, he’s been daydreaming too much lately. Been thinking about the firelight in Maryden’s hair and on her skin too much. Thinking how the way her eyes sometimes catch his and a smile grows on her lips. He sighs again, he really is in too deep.

Distracted by her enough it takes Krem an embarrassingly long time to notice there is a freshly picked amaryllis, blood red and shining. Narrowing his eyes at the flower he gingerly walks over and picks it up by the stem. He definitely did not pick it, but he can’t think of who would, or why. But he thinks of Maryden in the tavern, of the way she would be readying her lute in front of the fire, and of the party about to start. And he thinks of the smile she would give, just for him, if he gave her a winter-blooming flower.

Leaves with it held in front of him, butterflies returning to his stomach in full force. Walks down to the Herald’s Rest anyways, enters to the sound of laughter and flutes. Not Maryden’s music, too fast and too untrained, Krem looks around to see if he can find her, amaryllis moving behind his back.

Finds her standing just off next to the fire, lute in hand, where she’s in just enough shadow to be overlooked for now. Perfect. Quietly, Krem makes his way across the tavern and with his chest about to burst he tries to clear his throat softly. “Maryden?”

She looks up, eyes wide and dark in the flickering firelight. “Krem? Are you here to make a request, I’m not playing ye-”

“Oh! No, I, um, I’m here to- I mean I came over-” Tripping over himself, making an absolute fool of himself. “I just, sorry let me start over.” Krem takes a deep breath, pulls the amaryllis out from behind him held delicately by ink-stained fingers. “I want to give you this, I had- Um, I tried to write you a poem but, turns out I’m not as good at it as you are.”

Maryden smiles and its better than anything Krem has ever been able to imagine. All at once each of the butterflies in his stomach take flight, leaving him breathless and light. Heart hammering in his chest, a slight blush rising in Maryden’s cheeks. “How sweet of you.”

Her fingers brush against his as she takes the flower from his slack grip. Holds it up to her nose and takes a deep breath, her eyes falling shut only to open a moment later and connect with Krem’s. The warmth in them, brown turned honey-gold by the fire, causes his heart to flip in his chest.

“You know, in Ferelden we have our own Satinalia flowers.” A smile with a hint of teeth, “And if you look up, we happen to be standing under one of my favorites.”

Of course Krem looks up. Spots the sprig of green leaves and white berries tied together with a red bow, one of many hanging from the rafters.

“Mistletoe.” Maryden’s soft fingers against his chest starling and new, Krem jerking his gaze back down to face her. “Do you know what happens when people stand under mistletoe Krem?”

Her fingers against his neck now, curling around the back to pull his head down. Krem gulps, hard. Heart trying to beat its way out of his chest, heat across his whole face. “They kiss.”

Maryden smiles and tilts her head so her lips are ghosting over Krem’s. “That’s right, they kiss.”

Soft lips tasting of cider, of warm firelight and music. Krem gasps, air leaving his lungs in a heady rush. Time freezing, halting around them as Maryden presses her lips against his under the mistletoe with a flower stained with ink held in her hands between them. Heart bursting in his chest, butterflies fleeing to his veins and the whole of him feels like he could fly.

Moments passing too quickly when Maryden pulls back slightly, “Happy Satinalia Krem,” Murmured against kissed lips, half-lidded eyes and a smile brighter than any hearth.

“Happy Satinalia Maryden.”

"When the party is over you absolutely have to read me your poems."

What fool Krem is indeed.

#dragon age #dai #krem x maryden #krem #maryden #my writing #this is was so fun and sweet and im so stinking happy i got to write it

[egg2k16]

Quotes from 12th grade

I forgot to upload these when I graduated, but here they are now!

8/28/17

2. Carlos "I'm giving up my health" 9/5/17 Mario "If we still here during lunch, we can sneak out!" Patricia "You want to sneak into class?"

9/18/17 2. Aliyah "It was hard" Morua "I know it was hard" Sabian "I know it was hard. I made it that way" 2. Brandon "My special need is aid"

10/3/17 6. Vicky "Valery, why is this such shit?" 10/4/17 3. David "Alright Mr. Morua I'll be right back" Class "MR. MORUA?!?!?!" David "Mr. Grana" 10/4/17 Karina "Deaf blind and very confused" Me "That should be the name of my biography" ~ Joselyne "If you're not a competitive person, then don't apply to competitive schools"

10/6/17 3. Luis "I was thinking about the cheese"

10/12/17 3. Me "Unchangeable and swole" Karina "You sound like a fuckboy trying to write a love poem" Me "Am I not a fuckboy trying to write a love poem?"

10/13/17 2. Me "A pity pizza, if you will" 2. Me "All those cans there look sexy" Karina "Your sexuality is those cans. How gay are you? See those cans?" Me "Yeah? Yeah"

10/13/17 4. Student "What movie is this, Captain America?" Students "Civil War" Student "But it's Captain America, right?" Students "Yes" Student "You could have just said so, damn" 10/14/17 Rafael "It's a butter knife, not a cutter knife!"

10/17/17 2. Morua "What are complement goods?" Carlos "Nutella" Morua "Nutella and what?" Me "Nutella and everything" Morua "Nutella and everything. You're not wrong, Valery"

2. Morua "You still have to pay taxes" Marcelo "Not if they don't know you're there"

11/7/17

3. Me “You think I'm not aware, yet what you don't know is that I'm increasingly aware every time I write an essay”

Grana “Ahh, it's almost like you're learning in school”

11/8/17

2. Morua “Disney stocks are very expensive. You would own the paperclip on the CEO’s desk.”

6. Vicky “Cortina”

Joselyne “Everything he says is ugly”

11/13/17

6. Regalado “Only positive stuff now”

Johnny “Oh, ok. Khan Academy is good.”

*silence*

*laughter*

6. Girl “I don't have time to take notes and I don't have time to draw!”

6. Me “It's a see-saw. It's a danger see-saw. Over a cliff. While it's on fire!”

6. Me “That's so pretty. Let's take a field trip to the Hagia Sophia”

Class “Mhmm”

6. Nathalie “I've never seen a Bible in my life”

6. Joselyne “Oh my God. He vored the Bible”

11/16/17

1. Mrs. Ski “Robert, are you still with us?”

Robert *almost asleep* “Yes”

11/20/17

2. Me “You know, that's your problem. You just hand out the tests and they’ll have to figure out what to do with it!”

Morua “You know what, Valery, you right”

11/27/17

6. Me “I like how the lady explaining the mandalas is a white lady”

11/30/17

3. Grana “You just rewrote a Hemingway novel!”

12/5/17

1. Ski “Bleeding hearts want to stop the dear-loving!”

2. Karina “I'm confused and concerned!”

6. Malo “This video is twenty long!”

12/7/17

?. “Don't blame me for your shitty immune system!”

12/11/17

2. Morua “Adulting waits for no one”

12/14/17

3. Rafael “The devil is his father!”

3. Andrea “I'm bullying myself!”

Lunch. Rafael “Oh that's right, I forgot! I'm mad at you too! You're all trash!”

Lunch. Lauryn “She said she liked dick.”

Me “DICK?”

Lauryn “Yes, exactly”

7. Rodriguez “When you're an adult you can make the decision of either moving back to Costa Rica or … Colombia?” “Yeah” “Yeah, I remember Costa Rica more because you're more emphatic when you talk about it. It's like the forgotten little dog”

12/19/17

2. Morua “Death taxes”

Brandon “There's a tax on dying?”

12/20/17

3. Grana “Oh yeah, if he was a cold stone killer. Stone cold. Hehe, ice cream!”

12/22/17

2. Me “What are we gonna do today?”

Joselyne “Nothing”

Morua “What's the phrase … comiendo mierda”

2. Karina “Kids are cool, but dogs are awesome”

?. “TRUST ME YOU NEED TO GO TO FUCKING COLLEGE”

1/16/18

2. Me “B E T !”

2. Morua *about Lord of the Flies* “And as the book continues, what happens?”

Me “Angry little boys”

2. Me “Just don't murder people. But if you do get murdered, then that's your fault”

Karina “Don't be a little bitch!”

2. Morua “The govt makes sure that your rights are protected”

Me “But are they?”

Karina “No they aren't”

Me “You right”

1/18/18

6. Malo “It's just France, except take out the nce”

6. Me “You can't have both, you bitch”

1/22/18

3. Grana “Do any of you recognize this band? (The Cure)”

Me “Are they … British boys?”

Grana “Yes they are British boys”

?. “I was prepared, just not for those questions”

5. Avila “Look at Carlos, making everyone look bad!”

Me “Wow, for the first time!”

Carlos “I know, right?!”

1/23/18

1. Andres “Who are you waiting for?”

Me “Jesus”

1/24/18

3. Karina “Ugh, English”

Me “You're a native English speaker!”

3. David “I love the murdering of families”

Carlos “You know, that's kinda hot”

Grana “At this point, nothing surprises me anymore”

3. Marla “He had the Dexter goods!”

5. Brandon “When you drive, you'll finally have a new perspective on life”

7. Rodriguez “I'm worried, I couldn't do that simple handshake. I wonder if I'm dying”

1/26/18

2. Joselyne “It's just ice, bro. Zane from Ninjago says this”

Me “Canon”

2. Morua “Let's say Agustin is talking in class. And I'm teaching the class and I hear talking behind me and I say, ‘Agustin, go to the office.’”

Agustin “That's just Mr. Sisak”

2. Morua “Robert, are you really living if the government protects you from Karina and the Mexicans?”

2. David “Wow, I can choose between Raul Castro or Castro, Raul”

2. Brianell “You can either choose Raul Castro or Raúl Cástro. One with an accent one without, and if you pick the one without, you die”

1/29/18

1. Samantha “Screw you and your detours”

3. Grana “Yeah, the pizza, pizza van hit him”

Carlos “Pizza pizza?”

Grana “Thanks for that, Carlos”

1/30/18

1. Me “I'm not a meanie”

Samantha “Yeah, she's not a wasp!”

1/31/18

3. Carlos “Did you get the goods?”

Me “Te pasaste la raya”

Carlos “Man shut yo mouth!”

Me “YOU shut your mouth!”

Class *ooo*

Grana “I'm gonna end it there on Valery’s victory”

3. Me “Your eyes don't grow, you grow into your eyes!”

3. Me “Are you still talking about your eyes?”

Kafruni “Is that why you need glasses?”

3. Me “He's a little bitch. You think a hardcore bitch would kill people who talk smack about them??”

3. Gio “You've heard of Atomic Blonde, now get ready for Hardcore Bitch”

2/2/18

Lunch. Joselyne and Me “various versions of Oscar Isaac came to my house”

2/5/18

1. Andrew “I'm a professional kayaker”

1. Andrew “Shut the fuck up, ugly. I'll leave you in the Everglades”

2. Me “What did we do last class?”

Karina “I'm the wrong person to ask that”

2. Isa “You got them ratchet-ass K Mart markers”

6. Khan “It's a phallus”

Me “I KNEW IT!”

Regalado “Obviously”

2/7/18

1. Ski “Quarter 3 is the toughest when it comes to grades, right Agustin?”

1. Ski “The little mosquito that could”

2. Morua “The last war the United States fought on US soil was the Civil War”

Karina “It's because we're smart”

Me “Are we?”

Karina “No”

Marcelo “It's cuz we have a moat”

Morua “Actually, two moats. Two big moats on either side with favorable countries on either side”

2/8/18

3. Tall “The tone is pessimistic and bleak, because that's how Poe is”

3. Gio “... Fortunado has the moral high ground”

Grana “Oh, so he's Obi Wan”

Me “ :D “

3. Me “It's over, Monstresor”

Grana “Ahh :D “

3. Me “Moral of the story is: There is no morality”

3. Grana “Yeah, it's like ‘Oh sorry man I stubbed your toe.’ ‘You're dead to me’”

5. Ivory “You're pregnant? Welcome to Chili’s!”

2/9/18

2. Me “It's okay. It's understandable. You're valid, Mr. Morua”

Morua “Thank you”

2. Karina “They're Other now”

Morua “Umm, we prefer Miscellaneous”

Me *dying from laughter*

Morua “Okay, it wasn't that funny, Valery”

Me “Let me laugh, Morua, damn”

2/2018

1. Me “It's a little bitch”

Sam “Yeah, but what kind of little bitch?”

2/23/18

2. Morua “Say hi, Kafruni”

Everyone “Say hi, Kafruni!”

3/7/18

6. Regalado “I wonder what they did in the medieval times with a solar eclipse”

Me “Johnny’s blind! Shit, that's the fifth one today!”

3/8/18

3. Me “Peacocks are just chickens. Any bird is a chicken if you try hard enough”

3. Grana “Peacocks, we know, are flamboyant chickens”

5. *Brandon just abandoned Brito*

Brito “I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WOULD BETRAY ME! WHY DID I TRUST YOU! EVERYONE ALWAYS LEAVES ME, MAN!”

3/9/18

1. Me “This is all your fault, Sebastian”

Sebastian “Okay”

6. Vicky “I have P.E. for sixth period”

3/12/18

7. D Rod “Lies, slander, and libel. Write that down, that I missed it”

3/19/18

1. Me “Drink up, bitch”

6. Regalado “Japan”

Diana “Oh, K-Cock?”

3/21/18

1. Sam “You're killing my vibes”

4/3/18

3. Mary “Did you finish the book?”

Rafael “Did I raise my hand?”

4/4/18

2. Morua “Now you guys can stalk Marco Rubio”

Sabian “We want you to stalk Marco Rubio!”

Morua “I'm not paid enough to stalk Marco Rubio”

Me “We'll pay you to stalk Marco Rubio!”

2. Morua “The average congressman is a white male -”

Me “Wow”

Morua “- and in their late 50s”

Me “I did not know this information at all before in my life”

Kafruni “Jaja, Valery”

2. Morua “This is our district”

Marcelo “Why is it like that. Why is it drawn like that. I disagree with our grouping”

4/5/18

3. Sebastian *about Norwegian Wood* “I kind of lost my train of thought during the interview, but it's cool”

4/6/18

6. Window *laughing but squeaking*

Nathalie “Window sounds like when you cleaning a window!”

6. Window “What happened?”

Me “You're laughing but you're squeaking so much you sound like when you're cleaning a glass window!”

Angelina *dying of laughter* “That's really good, Valery!”

4/8/18

7. Me *about the Star Trek vs Star Wars shirts* “I represented Star Wars. Are you proud of me?”

Rodriguez “Yes I am, my child”

Me “Oh my God, Patty, he finally recognizes me as his child!”

Rodriguez “I meant that in the spiritual sense”

Patty “You guys have a weird dynamic”

Me “But it works!”

Rodriguez *laughs*

Me “Sometimes a family can be a disgruntled 30-something year old man and an energetic 18 year old girl”

4/10/18

6. Regalado “It's a gradient of racism”

4/11/18

7. Rodriguez “Soon, a new Snapchat is gonna come out that will make the original Snapchat look old. What will happen to the last three years of your life?”

Isabella Ruiz “It'll be a fun time, it made me happy”

4/12/18

2. Morua “I don't get why this is so complicated. The exam is on the 24th. If you'd like, we can have a quiz in the days before about the days of the week”

4/13/18

~*Gradbash*~ After hours

Matthew “JUMANJI?????”

Capt Brianell “Matthew, I stick my 12 size foot up your ass!”

Brianell “Go the fuck to sleep!!!”

Rafael “Matthew, you turn on that light, you won't be able to see it!”

Karina “I love this sweater, man”

4/16/18

2. Agustín “Yo, can we all graduate together?”

Lunch. Rafael “Joselyne is my best friend”

Joselyne “What the fuck”

4/17/18

3. Gio “I don't know, I don't watch anime”

4/24/18

6. Regalado “The Bauhaus is a rejection of art nouveau”

Me “Is everything in art a rejection of something else?”

Regalado “Yes”

Hass “Hehehe”

6. Window looks at me

I look at window

Me “What?”

Window “What?”

Me “You were the one who looked at me first!”

Diana and Nathalie *laugh*

4/25/18

1. Shawn “Do I have to do para, par, pa, parisitm?”

Ski “Parasitism”

Shawn “That's exactly what I said”

1. Shawn “Dude, why is your example so long? An example is like, an example”

1. Shawn “What are you talking about? If the Earth wasn't sustainable, we wouldn't be here right now”

4/26/18

2. Morua “The President is Chief Citizen, the most well-known citizen of the United States, which we know… is a lie”

5/1/18

3. Karina “When you call us up, are you going to show us our essays-?”

Grana “Your Oscar Wao essay”

Cortina “Oh man”

5/2/18

2. Morua “I can't just fire Valery because I don't like her hair. Valery is incompetent at her job… plus her hair is dumb”

6. Regalado “It'd be a Venus, but since it's era, you have to put the Greek one”

Window “Jesus Christ”

Regalado “No, Jesus isn't there yet”

5/4/18

2. Morua “Writing papers is so easy yet you guys are always, uggggghhhhhh”

Me “It's because we like to write, we just don't like to write for school��

Jethro “Not everyone writes, Valery”

2. Karina “This is too much adult conversation, I'm gonna throw up”

5/7/18

1. Sebastian “Cadmium yellow!”

Vicky “Did you search up ‘Bob Ross yellow’?”

Sebastian “No, I put in ‘yellow Bob Ross’!”

5/11/18

3. Me “Would I lie to you about the X Men?”

Carlos “OOOHHH!!!”

5/16/18

4. Jose Diaz “What's a weaboo?”

Me “You don't wanna know”

Student “OOOHHH!!!”

6. Vicky, crying, mouth full “I love eating”

5/21/18

1. Shawn “You guys don't know how to take care of a child at all”

1. Andrew “What is this, a parent-teacher conference?”

5/24/18

3. Carlos “Hey Mr. Grana, for the playlist project-”

*Grana plays music*

Carlos “- Oh shit”

5/29/18

3. Marla “I love this song!” (Best Part by Daniel Caesar)

Carlos “What is this?”

Marla “Shut up, Soundcloud rapper”

Everyone “OOOHHHH”

5/30/18

?. “No cabrón, esto es un auto de última generación”

6/1/18

2. Joselyne “Today is Tom Holland’s birthday”

Me “Wow, and on the first day of Pride Month. Hmmm”

Joselyne “Hmmm!!!”

6. Me “You will get to mine, right?”

Morua “Yes”

Me “Awesome, thank you, my mom loves you!”

Matthew “That's what you always want to hear. My mom loves you”

6. Steven “Wait, do you want me to sign it?”

Me “Of course, that's why I put it there!”

Steven “I was so confused, you didn't pass it along!”

Me “Did I put it there for decoration? I put it there for a purpose!”

Steven “I got you, I gotchu”

#post #my school #quotes #good times

[nightbleeder]

the 100 ask!

rules: answer as many as you want if tagged and then tag three more people OR just reblog it and treat it as a regular ask meme!! have fun xoxo

This looks like so much fun!  

1. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?  Stealing something, probably.  Medicine, food, a book.  Who knows.  

 2. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?  Not once I found out what they were for, no.  

 3. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)  A flower, or a crescent moon. 

4. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?  Um.  Wells or Luna, I guess.  Do they count as minor?

 5. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?  Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, Lincoln & either Wells or Miller.   

 6. Minty or Briller?  Minty.  

 7. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)  My full name is Megan, but everybody just calls me Meg.  I’m assuming my nickname would stay the same, but maybe my full name would be Megon?  Don’t know.  

8. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious  You fuck with my girls, you fuck with me, you mass-murdering prick.   

9. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?   It’s possible, but very unlikely.  I would naturally be skeptical of anything promising a happy, painless existence.  And chipped!Jaha gives me the creeps, so I would have to be in a REALLY shitty place to even consider it.     

10. What character do you relate to most & What character do you like the least not including the obvious ones like Pike, etc….I think I relate most to Harper, and the character I like the least is Echo.  Sorry!  I’m hoping Season 5 gives me more of a reason to care about her just before they kill her off, per usual.

11. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)  I’m definitely in a hoodie of some kind.  Black boots, black jeans, and maybe some small pearl earrings.  As a trademark weird accessory in the harsh, post-apocalyptic world of The 100.  

12. Favorite type of mutant animal?  Hahaha, the Pauna.  

13. What would your job be on the Ark?  Some kind of teacher, maybe?

14. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?  Hopefully.  

15. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she’s still alive right? then who would make the best commander?  Hmmm.  If we’re looking at potential leaders following the rules of the Grounder religion, then maybe Luna?  It would have to be a natblida, right?  But if we’re looking at things post-Lexa, post-conclave, I’d have to go with either Abby, Kane, or some type of co-leadership between the two of them.   

16. If you were a grounder, then where would you live and who would be your mentor?  I’d be Floukru, and my mentor would be Luna.  

17. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?  Depends on how much trauma I was dealing with, I guess.  But I picture myself acting more like Monty.  I CAN’T CHANGE THE TIDES IF THE MOON WON’T COOPERATE - IT’S BASIC PHYSICS!  

18. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake?  These poor traumatized babies, they all need fucktons of therapy.  With a situation like that, I’d have tended towards leniency.  But I’d also have been on Bellamy’s side when Clarke wanted to pin the murder on Murphy, so hopefully we could have convinced her to come at things from a more logical perspective.  Then, maybe Murphy wouldn’t have felt the need for revenge against Charlotte.  

19. Who should be the Chancellor, if anyone?  Either Kane, Abby or a co-chancellorship with both of them.

20. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod)What is the one thing you would snatch while there?  Probably the iPod.  Music is life.

21. Do you think you’d have caught the virus spread through camp or would you have been immune like Octavia?  Based on past experiences, I probably would have been one of the first ones sick.  

22. What would your grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?  Assuming I was in a clan that did that sort of thing, I’d have one big long braid.  Something like this:   

My war paint would probably imitate the landscape - kind of like camo (if the materials were available.  If not, I’d just use black soot around my eyes because who gives a shit what you look like when you’re going to war). 

If I had tattoos, they’d be words, not random “tribal” designs somebody found on Google (looking at you, CW).  Words that meant something to me.  Poems, lyrics, important phrases, names.  My skin would be a story.  

23. Favorite quote?  Life is about more than just surviving OR Maybe there are no good guys.  Both are pretty iconic.

24. Can you forgive Murphy for his actions? How about Bellamy?  It’s less about forgiving them and more about accepting the characters for the multidimensional creations they are.  All of the characters on this show are portrayed as morally gray - so it’s not about “forgiving” them for their transgressions, it’s about understanding their motivations, the contexts of their actions, and accepting their complexities.  It’s why I love this show.

25. If one of the characters was in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? NOOOOO ALREADY SO MUCH DEATH NOOOO Well damn, I don’t know.  I think the environment plays a big role in the outcome, so it would really depend.  I’d lean towards Bellamy, but I don’t actually know if he’d want to win.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite ship? NOT INCLUDING CLEXA OR BELLARKE  Within those parameters, I’d say my least favorite is Flarke, and my favorite ship is Princess Mechanic.

27. A song that should be included in the next season, like when Radioactive was? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?  I have no idea about the song, but I dig Imagine Dragons - if they could somehow work another one of their songs in there, I’d be okay with that.  And if I could have a famous guest star...does it have to be a musical guest star, like Shawn?  If yes, then I pick Taylor Momsen.  If it doesn’t, I pick Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?  Drink.  And cry, probably.

29.Opinion on Emori? Roan?  Like them both. Excited to see where season 5 takes Emori’s character, especially knowing she’s hanging out with Spacekru.  And I liked Roan’s sass, I’m going to miss Zach McGowan.  And his abs.

30. Would you want to be an extra that is killed off in a brutal way?  Sure, why not.

31. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?  Tie between Harper & Miller.  

32. A character you’d bang?  Yes.  

I tag: @sometimesrosy, @bellamynochillblake, @griffinnblake, @abazethe100, @ravenbellclarke, @tracylorde, @rashaka, @bellarke, @merdok1993, @istilldothiseveryday, @the-most-beautiful-broom, @mythicalquill, @azgedanqueenecho, @montygreen, @parapluiepliant, @pillowprincesslexaand whoever else may be interested!

#the 100 ask #meme #the 100 #clarke griffin #lexa kom trikru #bellamy blake #raven reyes #emori #roan kom azgeda #monty green #jasper jordan #luna kom floukru

[5questions]

Peter BD

as the young man gazed up at the eclipse

he thought

“damn, i’m looking at

the

eclipse”

So begins acclaimed poet Peter BD's dizzying journey into the depths of the textual Self, in which reflexive phrases play off one another like a thousand points of light shining through a fifth of cognac and illume the striving and conniving which defines our current moment. From treatises on chicken to the moral quandaries of Winona Ryder, touchstones of the Now seep through Peter's verse like osmosis like milk through lace like the blinking of your fifth eye. Buoyant humor and steely irony mix together to form a wild combination which goes down easy but lingers with you for the rest of the day.

BUY IT TODAY FROM INPATIENT PRESS

How many of your famous/infamous email letters have you sent out? By your estimation, what's the ratio of positive to negative feedback you have received (could also throw in neutral)? Or is it hard to categorize them as such? What are the most wild responses you have ever gotten? Define 'wild' as you will. 

i'm not sure how many stories i've emailed people. i've never kept count. in the beginning i'd write a lot of people things but don't do it now as much as i used to. all i can say is that it's probably a big number overall. or maybe not. sorry for not being able to answer this one. feedback to the stories is either positive, neutral or no response at all. i'd say it's about 60% positive and 40% neutral. this is just going on my responses in my inbox. i don't have any social media besides twitter so unsure what the overall reaction is, if there is any. no one really replies to me in a negative way. i remember one person corrected my grammar once which was funny. i think my most memorable negative response came from you. i sent you a 3 part email and here was your response: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE STOP SENDING ME YOUR FUCKING EMAILS ITS FUCKING FICTION I HATE YOU PEOPLE JUST KIDDING ABOUT ONE OF THOSE PARTS NOT ALL OF THEM FUCKING ASSHOLE I AM UNIMAGINATIVE I STALK PEOPLE GIRLS BOYS WOMEN MEN ANIMALS PLANTS SO FUCK YOU DID YOU HACK MY EMAIL PLEASE DONT IM SORRY I  LOVE YOU PLEASE LOVE ME BACK this was one of the most memorable responses because it's around the time i first started doing this and also because it's wild. i guess it's more wild than negative. whatever it is i enjoyed it. i don't receive too many wild responses but one i did enjoy was when this artist named jacob sanders wrote a song about me. i was working this shitty job and was up at 5 am when i received it. it just talked about how i can accomplish whatever i want or something like that. i was really happy at work that day haha. it made feel really good and humbled that someone would do that for me. i think someone sent me a dick pic once. that was wild. another person responded to one of my stories with a story of their own about me that was thousands of words. that was wild as hell.

What was the writing process like for your recently released book? How did you decide on your publisher? 

i don't think i would've written these poems if i hadn't gotten sick last winter. i had a lot of down time and just began writing a bunch of short poems/stories every day. i saved them in my drafts not thinking anything would come of them. i probably wrote hundreds of them. then one day, over the summer, i was eating a burrito somewhere and mitch anzuoni from inpatient press approached me and asked if i was writing anything he could publish. he saw me read at an event and guess he thought i was book publishing material. we talked for awhile and that's how this 'milk and henny' idea came to life. i didn't even have a finished work to present him and we already got to the point of discussing a second book. it was really weird and serendipitous. so i went back in my drafts, put together some things i liked, and presented them to mitch as a powerpoint presentation a couple of weeks later. i didn't even know if anyone would like the poems except me. it was all pretty random haha

What's your day-to-day life like? Will you answer this question?

my day to day depends on what day it is. either i'm at work, or recently, going to see some doctor. i've been feeling ill again but anytime i go to get checked out they tell me i'm 100% fine so maybe my illness isn't easily traceable or it's all in my head.

i write some days. other days i just read. i think i'm gonna meet a friend to get drinks in a couple of hours. life is pretty random these days. i'd like some stability. being alive is strange and hard as you know.

How do you find your online persona to be different than your real life personality? Is there any separation between these two or just different gradations and systems of perception that make the two seem separate? 

at this point i think how i present myself online is similar to my real life personality. i went from thinking i'd just do this for a couple of months and then go to grad school to it becoming who i am completely. it probably sounds dumb, but creating this fake internet character brought me closer to myself. most likely, i would've gone to medical or pharmacy school if i hadn't began writing when i did. being in the sciences seems crazy to me now, even though the money would've been nice. this is a hard question to answer completely because i think we all show people certain aspects of ourselves and hide others. i don't feel any different than anyone else in terms of persona presentation although what i do might seem strange to some. 

my family and a couple of my friends still don't know about whatever this is that i do. maybe i don't think it's important enough to tell them or maybe i just want to keep it to myself. probably the latter. there's some shit that you just need to have for yourself, ya know? especially when it comes to being creative. i think growing up i was steered away from the arts and told that i had to do something practical. but now that i'm a grown up i can be as impractical as i want to be 

What are the best things you have read in the past year? Why? 

a read a lot but i didn't read as much in 2017. trying to change that this year. i really liked this book by ralph ellison called living with music. it's a collection of his jazz writings but it's mostly about music in general. a lot of what he says applies to music of today and how people react to it. he's very good at criticism. i picked up rome poems by pasolini off my roommates bookshelf and enjoyed it. ed mullany gave me man and his symbols by carl jung. i'm enjoying it thus far because certain topics that he discusses interest me lately. it's strange how you can begin a book and it ties into what you're going through in your life. there's nothing like a good book to take you somewhere else for however long you're reading. it's like a instant mental vacation. 

i read twitter daily. that's where i get most of my news. i want to read more richard wright this year. and octavia butler. i want to read a lot of the books i saw on your bookshelf. excited for your upcoming book. there's never enough time to read all these good ass books that exist.

#peterbd #inpatient press #octavia butler #richard wright #pasolini #carl jung #ed mullany #rome #ralph ellison #jazz #medical #pharmacy #andrew duncan worthington #daily dot #thought catalog

[mukesarrowheart-blog]

a shitty poem about a shitty friend

I don’t even know what this is, but I just felt like sharing it.

And to the person this is about, fuck you. 

You were my best friend.

Just like band aids being ripped off delicate flesh,

the words sting my tongue as they fall from my lips.

Were, as in past tense.

Were, as in the fact that you no longer hold this title.

Instead, you poisoned the words I held dear.

You lost the right to bear this phrase when

you began to hurt me.

Sticked pins and needles into my tough skin,

creating little instances of pain,

but not enough for me to leave you.

You made me think these little scars,

were just the consequences of having a friend.

That was before I realized true friendships,

should not have consequences.

I think I blame myself for your actions,

because I was a bad friend.

I would tell myself this,

screaming in pain until my words fell silent,

and my lungs became sore.

With your actions,

you began to teach me,

that the only real act of care

was giving someone everything

until you had nothing left yourself.

I think I learned how much I needed you,

when I began to feel abandoned

by the one i had given everything to.

Until my legs were only able to support me,

if you told them they could do so.

Until my heart was only able to function,

if you approved of something I did.

I had confidence once, I think,

but that was so long ago

that it seems like a dream.

Because every time I would feel beautiful,

you murdered my confidence with a shotgun,

keeping the shells as your own personal trophy.

Because of you,

breathing became a chore I just didn’t want to do anymore.

Because of you,

my happiness fell second to yours.

At first, i didn't care.

I thought, “hey, this is good. I’m making someone happy.”

But I didn’t realize how much

I had abandoned my own joy,

until it left me entirely.

Until I was simply a doll,

waiting for you to play with me.

Pick me! Pick me! Please.

Because I just need attention.

Just like glass,

you broke me.

But the thing about broken glass is the more it breaks,

the harder it is to put back together.

And holy shit, was I shattered.

You see, I didn’t know that at the time.

So every time you added a crack,

I thanked you.

Because my teachers taught me that

individuality is crucial,

and that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

But the stronger I once tried to become,

became impossible to achieve.

Because the thing that was trying to kill me,

was the thing that was supposed to be making me stronger.

When I realized all the scars that covered my heart

were because of you,

I tried to run.

But you see, I couldn’t run.

Because my feet were bleeding

from all the cuts I encountered

by stepping on the broken glass

you helped me break.

When it came to surviving,

I don’t know who I was fighting more.

You, or myself.

Because my mind would say “go back to her”

but my heart was tired of the pain.

You, on the other hand,

were welcoming.

So I went back, again and again.

Stepping on those same shards over

and over, just to make you happy.

But I was tired.

Oh god, was I tired.

I just wanted sleep,

but my mind would keep racing,

until my body was ripped apart

in an attempt to put myself together.

Yet I say I’m sorry,

because I know I hurt you.

I was a hurricane of emotions,

trying to survive,

and I think I may have destroyed

a piece of you in my path.

I know you don’t think of me now,

but I think of you all the time.

Like a drug,

the longing for acceptance was killing me,

but an urge that wouldn’t subside.

I realized this friendship was like heroin,

and I am a recovering addict.

#poem #sad #friendship #mean #hurt #depression #art #writing