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#text/itachi
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so i don't think i post abt this on here much but i have this folder of like a dozen different (broadly mediocre and quarter-baked) hinataverse crossover concepts, because i love to put hinata in Situations. there's this whole MCU crossover branch that is well enough fleshed out that i keep branching ADDITIONAL crossovers off of it whenever i watch an action movie. i don't think anyone has ever seen any of them except @combat-epistemologist; for the most part i haven't bothered to give any of them coherent plots so most of them are just, like, Hinata Experiences Culture Shock.
but anyway i was rereading the scholomance crossover just now (whose existence i vaguely alluded to here) and -- the problem with this, right, is that the scholomance books are sufficiently tightly plotted that it's hard to wedge a hinata in there without completely wrecking galadriel's character arc. and also that hinata is kind of too OP to fit in well with the setting, which is another common structural issue with these AUs. it's not Good Content, it's just noodling around with the concept "what if the scholomance yoinked hinata during the freshman induction at the end of a deadly education, and hinata is incredibly mad about it because she was In The Middle Of Things". there ARE SOME REALLY FUNNY BITS though and my current favorite is just the entire concept of itachi's isekai adventure to modern japan.
itachi is trying to find hinata, right (this is a non-massacre AU, or more accurately the massacre interrupted AU i alluded to in the tags of this post; you see why it's impossible for me to post 80% of my shit with the dependency web i've got going on). hinata has Mysteriously Vanished and itachi was forced to cram a five-year course of study on advanced fūinjutsu into like three weeks in order to track the space-time jutsu that yoinked her THIS far. he seriously contemplates stealing the kinjutsu scroll and resurrecting the yondaime with edo tensei if he can't figure out the necessary sealwork himself. his general emotional state can be summed up thusly:
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he doesn't know what a car is and he talks like a nobleman from the sengoku period and he's been yote randomly into -- well, i haven't quite decided where yet, because that would require a good deal more historical research than i really feel like doing for this fic (in particular: what the hell is going on with kyoto enclave), but either Literally The Middle Of Shinjuku (funny, but then he probably finds tokyo enclave too quickly) or a random patch of countryside (wherein he almost gets himself isekai'd again by truck-kun within the first 15 minutes). but eventually he DOES manage to gaslight gatekeep girlboss his way into tokyo enclave --
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evilkitten3 · 5 months
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naruto textpost memes 7/?????????
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Konan: *Explains periods to Deidara*
Deidara: "That must suck. Imagine bleeding every month. God. It's like your body is trying to kill itself on the inside... That's art."
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malignedaffairs · 2 months
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Ambrosia - Page 45
Full work on AO3
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slamongflobo · 8 months
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sustober day 19: shisui (+itachi)
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blkkatsuki · 4 months
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happy Valentines day!! here's some Akatsuki valentines cards, some of these are unhinged flirting, and some of these are a threat on your life ^_^
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yowyowyaoi · 10 months
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Itachi’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki
From Konan
Nobody eats until you come out and eat with us 😤
Thank you! You’re the only one who even noticed 💙
You need to do a better job of hiding that kitten lol  it pushed open your door and walked down the hallway again
Of course! You know where I keep it you don’t even have to ask 😊
I know I’ve spoken to Nagato about them he’ll handle it
You have GOT to come try this new massage chair I got it’s heaven 😌
From Deidara
Come on I was just kidding!!
Please call him off if he bites off my hand again Sasori said he won’t replace it 😔
Sharingan is not art it’s dirty cheating 
The counter is covered with plates of eggs, did you do that weird sleepwalking thing again?!
Me and Hidan and maybe Tobi. Come on take the stick out of your ass and just come with us!
I’ll paint them if you braid my hair first.
Why do you always blame me?? Hidan probably took it!
Omfg I SWEAR I meant that for Sasori!! 😳 Please please don’t show Kisame he’ll kill me 😫
From Zetsu
He’s just so emotional is that an Uchiha trait?
I can literally smell your exhaustion you need to go and rest
Yeah very cute. Be a shame if someone ate it 👀
He was doing fine. Got a lot taller. Looks a lot like you in the face.
No I’m glad you made him leave that dude freaked even ME out 😵‍💫
From “Tobi” aka Obito
Can I borrow your face cream? This mask makes my skin itch like crazy!
God stop it man are you TRYING to speed up going blind?!
Would he take your last name or would you take his? 🤔
No. Never. They think I’m a dumbass, remember?
Little more time in the sun would probably help 🤷🏻‍♂️
“Crushes” are for little kids. And anyway he hates me 😔
I thought about that yeah. Reminded me of your mom’s. She always made the best ones.
I’m not sure of anything kid. But we’re in it too far to back out.
Idk you just looked super pale
Ask Sasori to make you more, they’re helping a little 
Idc what Zetsu says. I can do a lotta shit but cannibalism isn’t one of them 🤢
You think I didn’t see you sneak in that pie? Either share or I’m telling Kisame.
From Nagato
Come and join Konan and I for tea. We’ve got a new blend we think you’ll like.
Permission granted. Just be back within three days, I’ll be sending you two on a mission then.
Thank you for the tips. My eyes feel much better now.
Take your time reading it. When you finish I’d love to discuss some of the themes with you.
I know you dislike meat but perhaps a bit more protein might help improve your stamina.
I don’t mind but do not let Kakuzu see it.
From Hidan
Movies with me and blondie?
Yeah but he’s half-animal right? Still counts, pervert.
PLEASE make the splinters in the ass joke PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU😭😭😭
If I didn’t take a piece you would have ate the whole fucking thing yourself and your stomach would burst. You’re welcome 😊
No that was definitely Deidara’s gay ass
Mask boy’s looking for you
Oh right like Kisame wouldn’t beat my ass for that 🙄 Nice try asshole
God damn it’s 3am when the FUCK do you sleep?!
We’re not “plotting” anything just come with ffs 🤦‍♂️
It was an accident and I didn’t even look that long don’t tell her she’ll slice me up with that sharp-ass paper 😖
From Kakuzu
You always being on time with your rent is most appreciated.
To be honest I don’t really know. But at this point I’m too far into my feelings for him so this is my life now. 
Getting enough sleep is important. Nagato agrees that a new mattress would be in your best interests. No arguments.
I’ve ripped off his leg and made it clear it won’t be returned until he returns your property to you.
I’ll consult with Sasori and get back to you.
Konan is insisting everyone text you to come down to eat. It’s my turn. Be advised that continued delay will result in one or more of us coming and retrieving you by force.
From Sasori
Please inform me right away if you notice any adverse side effects. I may need to change the medication or adjust the dosage.
Oh, thank you for reminding me. I wouldn’t want a repeat of last year. What sort of gift do you think I should give him?
You’re more than welcome to anytime. You know I don’t sleep.
Finding the correct body is the most difficult part. All that follows is merely routine.
He can be very sensitive. I’m still learning to decipher and appropriately react to his emotions.
May I borrow that book when you’ve finished it?
Heh. That’s actually very funny.
Try not to overdo it. Your chakra levels still haven’t recovered from the last time.
You may want to hurry back. Zetsu has been circling outside your door like an animal and trying to sniff under it. That lock may not hold.
From Kisame
You remembered your meds today right?
Did you eat?
Yeah? I bet I could work out that tension 😏
Cake is not acceptable for every meal, Itachi.
I got a new blanket, very soft. Come test it out with me 💙
I’ll talk to him about it don’t worry.
For God’s sake just TAKE A NAP!
Have fun but watch your back, I don’t trust those two.
Pretty warm out tonight. Midnight swim later? 😏
You left your necklace on my dresser
Leave it there. You’ve already got one illicit pet you don’t need a second.
I’m cooking, you’re eating. No objections.
My hands are craving being in your hair 😔
I did not eat him. Zetsu is a liar.
You got any more pics like that? Please? 👀
I 💙 you too
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“He sees everything with his scarlet eyes, and hiding his true dream he acts in a play in which truth and lies are mixed together…”
Uchiha Itachi by Masashi Kishimoto - databook
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still rotating this reverse isekai concept, btw. itachi wakes up in a sharinganless, chakraless body with a completely different set of chronic illnesses. how the FUCK does he cope with this situation (and how long does it take my housemates to notice i've been replaced)?
let's assume he can speak english (because the language barrier is not the focus here) and knows all my passwords somehow (so he doesn't get fucked over by not being able to log into my work laptop).
he's from the naruto universe; he's never used a computer before! i have A FUCK TON of textbooks next to my desk about robotics + programming more generally, but like, he needs to study up pretty damn fast...
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evilkitten3 · 5 months
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naruto textposts (mainly @screenshotsofdespair) 6/???
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imagineakatsuki · 21 days
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Happy 10th Anniversary to this blog!
I know, I know, it's a month late - still, I hope you enjoy! Thank you to all those who stuck around and are still interacting with my recent posts. I could go on and on about how much this group and this blog means to me, but for everyone's sake, I'll leave it at this: I appreciate you all for staying during my Naruto/Akatsuki periods of obsession. This anime is just so great, even years later, and I feel like it will always be so.
Remember, the ask box is still open; even if you just want to chat, send me a message!
Admin S
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evartandadam · 5 months
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Do you know about the 5 love languages? (Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Gift Giving and Acts of Service) What is the order of importance for each Akatsuki member? :)
Note: Physical Touch in this is used non-sexually overall. Like hugging, cuddling, forehead kisses, etc
Im color coding, so you can find what you want faster 👍
Sasori: Words of affirmation above all (and intelligent conversation)! I mean, he dislikes attention in general, so it’s hard to imagine him liking much else 😂 If you can think of a gift he would like, he would very much appreciate that. Under specific circumstances, like AUs, Sasori would also love physical touch (canon 35 year old Sasori really has no interest in relationships in general). He would find acts of service demeaning- he can do it all himself, and in his mind, better. He likes quality time, but also disappears for days on end working on his corpse puppets or killing people to make them into corpse puppets 😍 You gotta be cool with that and tell him they’re awesome.
Deidara: Physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time- he is literally a princess and requires constant attention 😂 There aren’t many services he would expect from you, he just wants you to tell him he’s amazing and rub his back for hours (maybe that’s the act of service lol). He also would love gifts, and definitely enjoys giving them! Very easy to please and validate!
Hidan: Words of affirmation and quality time! He is a dog! He loves physical touch too, but feels religious guilt for it 😂 His religion is founded on worshipping destruction, and I think love and sex are the opposite of that and frowned upon. Hidan wouldn’t appreciate a nice gift enough, so don’t waste your time (unless it’s a trip to the hot springs or pomade). He would appreciate an act of service like cooking meat for him, or converting, so he doesn’t have to kill you 👍
Kakuzu: Acts of service and, if he trusts you, physical touch (he is very deprived of real affection and would dislike it initially). Kakuzu would also appreciate the gift of a good book! He does not require a lot of attention to maintain his interest if you got him, and though quality time is nice, it isn’t something he values much (once a month lol). He values intellectual conversation more than actual affirmation. Note, a hookup with Kakuzu is easy, and I’m referring to vulnerable physical affection, like snuggling.
Itachi: Gifts, quality time, and lastly, physical touch- he will feel more comfortable receiving physical affection after you spend lots of time convincing him he deserves it. Words of affirmation must be used in small doses or he will reject them. He would like giving gifts more than receiving them, same with acts of service. He is emotionally sensitive and considerate, so he will mirror what you give him and more.
Kisame: Quality time and physical touch. Kisame is a good boyfriend who is generally content and if you’re just nice to him, he’ll be ecstatic. Like Itachi, he might need some small doses of words of affirmation before accepting them as truth. Expect lots of bear hugs and being carried around! The only gifts he cares about are good food, and time with you! He expects no acts of service, but would appreciate you caring for him- all of these people have had hard lives and are comfortable doing everything themselves.
Konan: Gifts and acts of service. Physical touch is earned with her. She is a queen, so she already has whatever she wants, so sentimental gifts are best (but she would love designer). Honestly, she would care more about acts of service you offer to others more than herself. She is attracted to people who display character. Quality time is also nice, but not the top. You have to be good in bed to date her, and she likes giving caring touch to her partners, as well as receiving it. Words of affirmation are appreciated, but don’t overdue it. She’s heard it all, and likes action more than talking.
Nagato: Words of affirmation and quality time. Nagato has a god complex, so just nod and agree with whatever he says, and he will feel so valued 😂 He will shower you with gifts, but won’t expect any in return. Like Sasori and Kakuzu, intelligent conversation is also the key to his heart. Nagato would also value acts of service towards his people. Acts of service involving himself would make him feel guilty. If we are going for sickly Nagato, he would struggle with physical touch at first, but accept it gladly after you gain his trust.
Obito: Words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service . Also has a god complex, so just tell him whatever he wants to hear and treat him like a king. Before he went nuts, he was a golden retriever, so he probably loves head scratches and tenderness. A good gift might make him giddy as well. Quality time is not his top, cause he’s too busy trying to plan mass genocide, but of course you will have endless time together in the infinite tsukuyomi, so no worries! I’m throwing shade cause he would be a taker instead of a giver 🤪
Orochimaru: Gifts, of course! Weird taxidermy, expensive wine, statues of snakes for his lair, live snakes, stolen research, etc. You will be favored if you give lots of words of affirmation. He has no time for quality time, and you will always be sad and lonely while he experiments on children. He doesn’t feel like the type care much about physical touch, but acts of service are great!
Zetsu: Gifts (corpses of course!) Quality time feels like a favorite of theirs, they seem content to sit around and chill. Don’t be surprised if they kill you, they aren’t quite human anyway. Acts of service are also appreciated! Perhaps some gossip? Zetsu doesn’t seem like the type to value words of affirmation too much (especially Black Zetsu), and hcs for physical touch can go opposite directions.
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narutocharacterpolls · 9 months
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First round will start tomorrow at 12pm EST
Matchups listed under the cut
LEFT SIDE
LEE vs HINATA
AKAMARU vs KIMIMARU
NEJI vs BISCUIT
SUIGETSU vs KURAMA
KAKASHI vs SAKURA
ZABUZA vs SHUKAKU
OBITO vs OMOI
HAKU vs KIBA
NARUTO vs MINATO
TEUCHI vs UTAKATA
KILLER B vs SHISUI
SASORI vs KANKUROU
GAI vs KABUTO
HASHIRAMA vs DARUI
IRUKA vs MITO
SAI vs SHIZUNE
RIGHT SIDE
SASUKE vs DANZOU
CHOUJI vs SHIN
TOBIRAMA vs IZUNA
KISAME vs TENTEN
GAARA vs SHIKAMARU
TEMARI vs HIDAN
NAGATO vs HANZOU
JUUGO vs SHIKAKU
DEIDARA vs ITACHI
YAMATO vs YUGITO
KONAN vs MIKOTO
SHINO vs KARIN
MADARA vs INO
YAHIKO vs KAGAMI
TSUNADE vs PAKKUN
KUSHINA vs SAKUMO
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panharmonium · 6 months
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Hi! I love your Naruto thoughts and meta posts with all my heart and I want to ask your thoughts on something that has been on my mind literally since I was 13: what do you think about the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura? I went from being a hardcore shipper when I was a teenager, to being against any romantic relationship in Naruto after finishing the anime when I was in my early twenties. Nowadays I'm very into platonic love and depictions of friendship and I think the anime's obsession with forcing the "romantic interest" curse upon the main female character robbed us of... so much. There are a few wonderful moments in the anime where Sasuke and Sakura acknowledge each other, but because she's always "the girl with the crush", her actions are so often interpret as irrational or selfish by the fandom.
Hi @riemmetric!  It's great to talk to you again! Sorry it's taken me so long to answer this; RL has been making demands of me lately and it took me way longer to finish writing this up than I wanted it to (then again, I knew from the minute I read your original ask that my reply was going to get long, so I suppose I should have predicted a delay XD)
It's funny, my sister once asked me to choose between Sasuke or Sakura for an “unpopular opinion” meme, and I ended up doing Sasuke solely because I think the negative fandom opinions about Sakura are so unhinged and divorced from the actual text that I wouldn’t even know where to start.  People are entitled to dislike whatever characters they want, obviously, but there are some fandom takes that are, for me, so obviously rooted in bad faith viewings/readings that there’s no urge in me to discuss them.  That said, since you asked, I’m happy to go into my own thoughts on this a bit, with the disclaimer for other potential readers that I only write about fandom things for my own personal enjoyment, not as a contribution to The Discourse. If you don’t like Sakura, great!  I have no interest in changing your mind. Please consider this a sincere invitation to scroll on by and go enjoy whatever parts of the fandom appeal to you.
In general terms: I love Sasuke and Sakura’s relationship as much as I love all of the relationships in Team 7.  If we’re talking about them specifically as a romantic couple, then I probably fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, because I do like them together in a post-canon (to be clear: non-Boruto) setting, after time has passed and they’ve continued to develop individually and reconnect with each other, but I also wouldn’t exactly call myself an intense “shipper,” in the sense that I have no interest in pulling things out from the text and incorrectly citing them as evidence that Sasuke has hidden romantic feelings for her during the canon period. He cares about her in the canon period, just like he cares about Naruto and Kakashi.  That’s not up for interpretation; it’s the text.  But Sasuke during the canon time period does not demonstrate specifically romantic interest in anyone.  
[A note before people who might ship Sasuke with Someone Else emerge to rail against this statement - please just scroll past and continue enjoying fandom in whatever way is most fun for you. It is cool to ship whatever fanon thing you want; I think that’s great!  But earnestly citing any loving or emotional thing Sasuke does re: various characters in this story (yes, Sakura included) as indicative of specifically romantic love isn’t supported by the text. I know there are always going to be enormous subsets of any fandom who insist that it is, and I'm certainly not going to barge into anyone else's space to complain about that (because other people having fun together is harmless and none of my business), but I'm not obligated to indulge it on my own blog, either.]
Anyway, that said - the reason why I love Sakura and Sasuke’s relationship (from here on out I’ll use “relationship” in a general, non-romantic sense) is precisely because Sakura isn’t just “the girl with the crush.” Sakura has an arc when it comes to Sasuke, and its trajectory moves in the exact opposite direction of “irrational” or “selfish.”  She specifically goes from “the girl with the crush” to “the girl who steels herself and tries to put her personal feelings for Sasuke aside for the greater good” to “the girl who knows she can’t put her feelings aside, but who also knows full well that Sasuke doesn’t reciprocate them, and who still wants to save him regardless, because he matters to her as a person and a friend.”
[I'm putting the rest of this under a cut to save everyone's dash, and also to emphasize once again that this is a personal post on my personal blog which I wrote in response to a question from a personal acquaintance, the full content of which no one is obligated to read. I am not sending this post to random strangers and forcing them to look at it. I'm not even putting it in the character tags. I'm typing it up on my own blog and putting it under a cut. If you already know that you don't like Sakura, but you still click the link/read the post and then feel an urge to comment and complain, I am going to copy-paste this disclaimer and remind you that I specifically recommended that you scroll past and go have fun with fandom in your own way. Thanks in advance for responsibly curating your own fandom experience!]
So, from the top:
1. the girl with the crush
Sakura is, obviously, completely obsessed with Sasuke at the beginning of Part 1.  She’s also deeply clueless about him and his history (bizarre though it is, the story seems to indicate that she initially doesn’t know what happened with his family, the same way young!Obito is initially clueless about Kakashi’s father).  But what I like about Sakura and Sasuke’s Part 1 relationship is how this changes over time.
The critical scene that kicks this off happens right at the beginning of the manga, when she and Sasuke are talking by that bench - she complains about Naruto and blames his behavior on him being all alone/having no family to scold him; and even says she’s jealous that he doesn’t have parents to nag him all the time.  This obviously triggers an outburst from Sasuke, who tells her she has no idea what loneliness means and that she “makes him sick”/she’s “annoying” (importantly, the exact same thing Sakura said to Naruto in anger earlier that day), which in turn prompts Sakura to reassess herself and wonder whether she’s been making Naruto feel this terrible all the time, too:
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From that point on, it’s a process of her putting little pieces together.  She still has a MAJOR crush, and she still acts like a twelve year-old, but as we approach the end of Part I, Sakura actually has a more accurate grasp on Sasuke’s current state of mind than Naruto does.  Naruto is initially excited to fight Sasuke on top of the hospital, because he feels like Sasuke’s finally acknowledging him, whereas Sakura is the one who immediately recognizes that something is wrong about this situation.  She is also the one who, after this fight, is concerned that Sasuke is really unwell and might do something drastic like run off in pursuit of the power Orochimaru promised him, but when she communicates this to Naruto, he assures her that this would NEVER happen:
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(Sakura isn't convinced, though, because she goes to monitor the exit out of the village anyway.)
I’m not criticizing Naruto for his response here.  I ADORE hearing him say that Sasuke is too strong to need Orochimaru, with such perfect confidence - I love seeing how much respect and admiration he has for Sasuke underneath all their fighting, because that’s the whole reason he’s always baiting Sasuke and yelling at him and claiming “you're not so great!” He looks up to Sasuke; he wants to be like Sasuke; he thinks Sasuke is awesome! (It’s that Obito @ Kakashi behavior, you know?) But the fact remains that he is clueless about what’s actually going on with Sasuke in Part 1, and he remains clueless(ly optimistic) for a long time.  
(Eg, when he catches up to Sasuke during the retrieval arc and Sasuke climbs out of that cursed seal coffin, Naruto waves at him and calls "Come on, let's go!" as if Sasuke has been successfully rescued and is now going to come running home.  Even in Part II, when Naruto hears that Sasuke killed Orochimaru, he beams and immediately says, “So he must be on his way back to the Leaf Village!”  And everyone else in the room is like, “....,” because they know better.  Naruto doesn’t yet fully understand [or doesn't want to accept] the extent to which Sasuke has willingly chosen this path, and it’s not until after Jiraiya’s death/the Pain attack/the Five Kage Summit that Naruto really starts to understand Sasuke more clearly, which is something he himself admits.)
Sakura, in Part 1, has access to more information about Sasuke - she’s there for his first dissociative monologue during the bells test, she’s there for the curse mark’s placement, she’s there for his first violent transformation in the Forest of Death - she is, in fact, the unwitting catalyst for it (“Sakura…who did this to you?”), and her compassion is the reason Sasuke is later able to overcome the curse mark’s influence - so she has a more accurate/complete picture of “how he’s doing,” for lack of a better phrase, whereas Naruto, who doesn’t know about the curse mark in the first place, is still in the dark.  This means that Sakura is able to accurately discern that Sasuke is struggling more than Naruto realizes, and specifically to predict that he’s going to run away.  
(This dynamic is then interestingly flipped in the back half of Part II, since at any point after the Five Kage Summit, Sakura doesn’t have access to extremely relevant [if currently questionable and unproven] details that would in any other circumstance inform her behavior).
Of course, just because she has more info in Part 1 doesn’t mean she has some kind of miraculous insight into Sasuke’s every thought and feeling.  There are parts of her attempt to convince Sasuke to stay in the village that are as clueless as any of Naruto’s assumptions, and they showcase the kind of magical thinking common to childhood - like when she says that if he stayed with her, she could give him happiness, she’d do anything for him, even help him get his revenge - this idea that she herself can do something to make him feel better, that she can love him powerfully enough to defeat his pain - obviously none of that is rooted in realism.
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Is this part of her approach irrational and immature and inadvertently self-centered?  Of course it is!  But it’s no more irrational and immature and inadvertently self-centered than Naruto’s stated plan to drag Sasuke back to the village even if he has to “break every bone in [his] body!” 
Hating on Sakura for her Part 1 attempt to convince Sasuke to stay in the village while simultaneously lauding Naruto for his feels like a bad faith misread of what is, to me, pretty clear narrative intention.  The story doesn’t at any point intend for us to see her begging him to stay as a selfish or conniving attempt to get something she wants.  She’s begging him to stay for the same underlying reason that Naruto is: she cares about him.  She thinks he’s making a mistake that will only cause him more pain in the end (she’s right) and she wants to make it so he feels less pain right now (she can’t.  But she doesn’t understand that/isn’t able to admit that, and she’s willing to try ANYTHING that might help).  
It’s critical that this farewell scene is set in front of that same bench from their first important confrontation - she references that day and how angry he got at her, and this time she tells him that she understands his reaction.  She’s learned things and she recognizes how insensitive she was being back then (“I know what happened to your clan, Sasuke”), even though she still can’t fully grasp all the complexities of the situation. She tells him that him blowing up at her back then helped her understand what loneliness actually meant (as opposed to her previous shallow understanding of it), and she challenges him about his choice right now: "So that's it, you're choosing the lonely path?" And when she tells him that she'll be very lonely if he leaves, we're immediately shown a panel of Sasuke thinking of both his friends, with the very clear implication that if he goes through with this, he will be lonely without them, too - that he's still struggling with the idea of leaving them, no matter how hard he tries to pretend:
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Sakura at this point knows that Sasuke isn’t interested in her the way she is in him, but she still wants to give him happiness, however fantastical and immature her ideas sound to us (and, I’m sure, to him).  “I’ll do anything, even help you get your revenge/we'll have fun every day, and...and you'll be happy! I'll make sure of it!” - of course, it’s completely childish.  It’s irrational.  It’s ridiculous to think that any of this would ever be effective, but no more ridiculous than Naruto’s belief that he can simply break every bone in Sasuke’s body and keep him in the Leaf by force.
Both Naruto and Sakura are children who have a deeply oversimplified understanding of Sasuke’s situation.  They both still think they can fix him themselves.  They both think they can save him themselves.  They both think they can convince (or force) him to do what they want, what they think is in his best interests.  Both of them don’t yet understand that he has to want to come back, if it’s ever going to mean anything.  Their attempts to keep him in the village are immature and unrealistic, yes.  What they aren’t, however, is selfish, because neither Sakura nor Naruto are doing any of this with the intention of advancing their own interests.  They’re only thinking about Sasuke - how to keep Sasuke safe, how to make Sasuke happy - even when neither of them are taking an approach that will actually work.
Naruto and Sakura are children.  They’re afraid of losing somebody they care about.  Their attempts to prevent that from happening are desperate and messy and ultimately ineffective, but they are also genuinely felt and rooted in a true desire to rescue Sasuke from his pain, which - and this is the single most important thing that should impact our viewing of Part 1 - is something that Sasuke RECOGNIZES.  He doesn’t spend that agonizingly long moment bowed over Naruto’s defeated body so we can pretend he doesn’t understand that Naruto was just trying to help him.  He doesn’t take the time to murmur, “Sakura…thank you,” before laying her out carefully on a bench, just so we can discount it and pretend that he doesn’t recognize and appreciate her genuine intention to make things better for him, however clumsy that attempt might have been.
2. the greater good
If Stage 1 Sakura is "the girl with the crush," then Stage 2 Sakura is a progression to “the girl who decides to put her feelings for Sasuke aside in order to protect innocent people, including (but certainly not limited to) Naruto.”  She’s driven to this decision by interactions with Shikamaru, who all too recently had to grow up fast himself (“We're not kids anymore...we can't allow a war to break out between the Hidden Leaf and the Hidden Cloud because of Sasuke") and Sai, who risks his new friendship with Sakura and Team 7 in order to speak some hard truths and deliver one of my favorite lines in the whole story: “I don’t know what promise Naruto made to you, but it’s really no different than what was done to me.  It’s like a curse mark.”
(INCREDIBLE.  How can anybody be complaining about a season where Sai gets to say something that goes THIS HARD and Sakura LISTENS and takes DRAMATIC ACTION that actually propels the story forward in a meaningful way - )
[Okay, yeah, brief personal opinion interlude - it is just bonkers wild to me that there are people who complain about Sakura in the Five Kage Summit arc. That entire season is the greatest character arc she ever has.  Literally she has never been more interesting and dynamic than in Season 10; it’s the first time she ever gets to be as deep and fascinating as the boys; what is everybody so worked up about?  Oh, “she lied to Naruto that one time” - Sasuke joined infant-kidnapping baby-murdering human experimentation machine Orochimaru when he was twelve years old in order to (dare I say it????) selfishly pursue his personal goals and yet, somehow, we are still able to root for him.  He abandoned his friends/allies to imprisonment and death (Suigetsu and Jūgo) or outright stabbed them in the chest himself (Karin) in order to (SELFISHLY) get what he wanted, and yet, somehow, we are still able to love him, understand him, and be on his side.  Naruto is canonically not upset with Sakura about her lie after receiving context for the situation and I think we can probably take our cues from him without feeling the need to bring her up on war crimes; please calm down]
[Sorry, I just really love most of Season 10 and think it’s one of the best examples of how good this story can be when every single character gets to do something that matters (as opposed to things being all Naruto, all the time) so I get a little bit worked up over people complaining about some of the best writing Sakura ever gets.  I don’t understand what certain elements of fandom want from her. People complain about her being “useless” and not doing anything that contributes to the story, but then they complain just as much when she does finally get to act decisively and have just as complex/dynamic an inner world as the boys.  She’s “weak” for being unreasonably in love with Sasuke, but when she tries to be “strong” and put her love for him aside and eliminate him in order to protect Naruto and the rest of the world, she’s evil, because she should have been more understanding of his situation (despite the fact that she doesn’t KNOW anything about his situation).  But then when she can’t go through with killing him after all because she cares about him too much despite the things he’s done, she’s not "compassionate" or "kind" or "a good friend," she’s “weak” again. Nothing Sakura does in S10 is more wrongheaded or rash than any of the batshit, buckwild things Naruto and Sasuke have done in the past (and will continue to do in the future), but when Naruto and Sasuke have big feelings or take bold action, it makes them interesting characters, whereas Sakura can’t breathe in anyone’s direction without being minutely scrutinized for moral impurities.]  
Anyway. Back to a more measured response.  
Every single piece of development Sakura has with regard to Sasuke in this season satisfies me so much.  Her initial shock and disbelief at hearing that Sasuke had joined the Akatsuki?  Good, appropriate.  The fact that she starts to acknowledge the reality of what Sasuke’s done sooner than Naruto does?  Also extremely appropriate, very in-character for both of them.  Her taking Sai’s words to heart and deciding that the promise she asked Naruto to make when they were children is causing him to suffer and she has to relieve him of that burden?  Juicy!  AND thematically significant (promises!!!!  the burden that a promise places on a person, especially when it can't be kept - we've seen that before in this story and we'll see it again).  Her anguished pivot from wanting to protect Sasuke to realizing that she has a responsibility to protect the countless innocents who will die because of the war he’s trying to start?  HELLO THIS IS INCREDIBLE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.  Her knocking out the classmates who agreed to help her so they don’t have to share in her burden (and so the only person Naruto will hate when it’s over is her)?  BRUH.  Her being so committed and focused on her goal of saving innocents and protecting Naruto (not just from being harmed by Sasuke/the Akatsuki, but by the possibility that Naruto will someday have to hurt Sasuke himself) that she tries to take everything on by herself and walks into a confrontation that she absolutely cannot win??  INCREDIBLE.  (Literally the first time I watched this, I said, “Finally!!!  It’s Sakura’s turn to go off the rails!”  I laughed with my sister about how Kakashi isn’t even mad, because Naruto and Sasuke have been pulling stunts like this for years and Sakura was way overdue for her own meltdown.)  And then, after Kakashi intervenes in the fight - Sakura barreling back into the battle when she realizes he’s going to take on the burden of killing Sasuke himself in order to spare her and Naruto the horror - “I can’t let Kakashi-sensei bear this burden!”  I love her for that.  
And then, of course, in the end - her not being able to do hurt Sasuke after all.  Despite committing herself to the act, despite forcing herself to put her feelings for him aside, despite resolving to stop him from starting a war and killing innocent people, she can’t harm him.  She cares about him too much.  This, too, is thematically significant - think about Itachi’s “you don’t have enough hatred” - she doesn’t have enough hatred to kill someone she cares about, even if it seems like he deserves it, even if would be the right thing to do to protect others.  She can’t do it, and Sasuke almost kills her for her compassion.  
I love the dynamic this sets up between her and Sasuke, for a few reasons:
1) Personally, I think Sasuke respects Sakura much more for trying to kill him than he would have if she’d just tried to talk him out of his behavior or beg him to come home (a la their original confrontation in Part 1).  This is the first significant interaction he’s had with Sakura in years, and the fact that she does something SO contrary to his memory of her is an important demonstration of the fact that she’s not the same girl she used to be.  Sasuke spends a lot of time after his defection declaring to his old team “I’ve changed; I’m not that person anymore,” but this is one of the moments where he’s forced to acknowledge that his teammates have changed, too.  Time didn’t just stop for them when he left.  While he was turning into someone new, so were they.  They grew up without him, and his old memories of them can’t encompass the whole picture of who they are now.  
(This is a little tangential, but in general, I love the spectrum of reactions that Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi have in this sequence, and the way that all of them are ultimately messages Sasuke needs to hear.  Sasuke - who we know textually regrets what he did here, who apologizes to Sakura for it later - for “everything,” in fact - needs Naruto’s aggressively optimistic open-arms policy, yes, needs that potential, that unconditional possibility of return.  He also needs Sakura’s refusal to let him hurt her friends and start a war that will kill thousands of people, needs her surprisingly ruthless attempt to take him down; needs just as much her failure to do so, because it shows him that she still loves him too much to kill him even as she condemns him.  And he needs Kakashi’s grim line in the sand, needs someone who very possibly won't hesitate like Sakura (despite the horrifying personal cost), someone who will try to reach him but also won't let him escape and become the next generation’s Orochimaru, who won't let him cause untold suffering to untold numbers of people just because a teacher loved him too much to stop him when he had the chance. 
(And then even Kakashi chooses not to deliver a killing blow when he has the opportunity -)
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(I know that in fandom people are more likely to be all, “oh, Naruto Good, everybody else Bad,” but I don’t think the narrative frames Sakura or Kakashi as “worse” than Naruto in any way.  The story goes out of its way to make it clear how desperately they don’t want to hurt Sasuke and how much they care about him.  And [this is just my interpretation, so obviously I won’t claim it as fact], I personally think that Sasuke - Sasuke, who, looking back, can see how lost he was then and how tortured he would have been if he’d gone through with many of his plans - would be grateful to Sakura and Kakashi for making an attempt to stop him when he couldn’t stop himself.)
2) On the other side of this, the fact that Sakura wasn’t able to deliver the killing blow means a lot. Sasuke was incapacitated under that bridge; he was completely at her mercy - but she stopped with the kunai an inch from his back.  She couldn’t kill him, even though she knew that he was completely willing to kill her (because he'd attempted to Chidori-assassinate her from behind just a few minutes ago).  That’s huge!  Sasuke is too out of his head right now to process this or understand it, but later, it's going to matter.  She stayed her hand.  She spared his life.  She loved him too much to hurt him, even when he’d given her every reason to take him down.  She hesitated, and he almost killed her for it, but her inability to strike him ultimately gave him yet another chance to come home, another chance to get better, another chance to have a life outside of his pain.  Despite everything, some part of her still hadn’t really given up on him, and that knowledge will matter later, when he’s finally able to acknowledge it.  
The point of all this is to say that I really have no complaints about Sakura and Sasuke’s dynamic in their S10 confrontation.  This season is the point where Sakura fully grows past her “girl with a crush” stage and into her “shinobi must make very harsh decisions” adulthood, but it never means that she doesn’t care about the person she’s trying to take down.  Her ultimate inability to deliver the killing blow remains a dangling lifeline for her relationship with Sasuke, an open door that Sasuke is able to walk through at the end of the story (literally, in fact, when Sakura opens that portal for him and saves him from Kaguya’s desert prison, and figuratively, too, when Sasuke apologizes to her).
3. she only wants to save you
The last stage in their relationship is what Sakura settles into during the war arc.  She started off Part 1 being just a girl with a crush, then tried to harden her heart and put her feelings for Sasuke aside in service of the greater good, but she was unable to actually follow through and kill him, and because of that, what she’s come to accept by the war arc is actually two things: that 1) Sasuke truly is willing to let her die if it furthers his goals, and 2) she wants to save him anyway.  
She has no intention of pursuing Sasuke romantically.  She knows full well that Sasuke isn’t interested in her.  She even knows that Sasuke isn’t really on their side (there’s a great scene where Sai questions Sakura about Sasuke’s return, and she reassures him that everything is fine, and Sai sadly thinks to himself “even I can tell your smile is fake”).  She’s well-aware that Sasuke didn’t try to help her when Madara stabbed her.  She’s well-aware that he left her to die in the lava pit.  She’s also well-aware that none of this is enough to make her stop loving him.  He doesn’t have to care about her - she still cares about him.  She still wants to help him.  She still wants to save him.
This is not hidden, hard-to-parse character development.  It’s explicitly articulated on the page:
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Sakura’s not trying or wanting to make you hers!  She only wants to save you.
I’m not sure if people look at this last confrontation and unquestioningly take Sasuke at his word (as if we haven’t just read 71 volumes/watched 700 episodes showing us how how painfully distorted his thinking is), or if they stop reading/watching before the end of the scene, or if they don’t understand that Sasuke saying something doesn’t make that statement an accurate representation of reality.  The entire point of this scene is to show us how deeply mistaken Sasuke is about Sakura (and, by extension, the rest of Team 7).  He’s locked into a false pattern of thinking.  His single-minded focus on revenge and destruction has blinded him to the unconditional love his friends feel for him; he’s become so accustomed to using others and being used that he can’t understand or accept that someone would care about him without needing a reason, without needing him to love them back, without needing to receive something from him in exchange.
Sakura’s not trying or wanting to make you hers!  She only wants to save you.
Sasuke matters to Sakura as more than a love interest.  He always has.  She does love him romantically, yes, but she doesn’t only love him romantically, and her desire to help him is not and has never been contingent on him returning her feelings, romantically or otherwise.  Sasuke isn’t able to acknowledge that in this scene, but that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to just sit back and agree with his warped perspective.  Kakashi is the one who’s explicitly positioned as the voice of the narrative here.  We, as the audience, are supposed to recognize that Kakashi is the one telling us the truth.
[tangential thing 1: You don’t have to love Sakura's last plea to Sasuke here. It’s not my favorite, either - the best part, other than Kakashi’s speech at the end, is the moment after Kakashi collapses when Sakura’s expression changes from pained uncertainty to pure rage, when she grits her teeth together - when I first saw that, I almost leapt out of my seat like “Oh my god.  She’s finally going to let him have it.  It’s finally happening - ”  I wanted that so badly, and I still think it would have been a more effective writing choice for Sakura’s last words to lean more into her anger at the suffering Sasuke is causing all of them (himself included!) and less into yet another of Kishimoto’s “let me have Sakura articulate what a shame it is that she can’t do as much as Naruto despite the fact that I literally just went through a major reveal sequence in the war to show that she’s caught up to the boys; I can’t make up my mind about whether I want her to progress or not” - it’s extremely frustrating (and it's something he does at the very end of the S10 Team 7 reunion, too, which is the ONLY moment of S10 that falls flat for me).  But at the same time, even if there are ways this sequence could be more satisfying, it doesn’t change the fact that her plea to him is not remotely motivated by a desire to be with him romantically and not anything to condemn her for.]
[tangential thing 2: I do like how she remembers that moment when Sasuke says “Thank you.”  That panel precedes her saying “If there’s even a tiny corner of your heart that thinks about me…” (which I’m sure is one of the things that people like to criticize about this scene, aka “oh she’s sooooo self-centered” etc), but that particular line of dialogue is preceded by that particular flashback panel for a reason: Sakura knows that Sasuke DOES think about her.  He thinks about all of them.  Sakura remembers that “thank you,” and it reminds her that despite everything Sasuke has done and said since, despite all evidence to the contrary, she knows in her bones that his expression of gratitude back then was genuine.  He cared about her once.  He cared about all of them.  She’s trying to reach the part of him that still does, if it exists.]
[tangential thing 3: The fact that Kakashi says “she suffers from loving you,” and it triggers Sasuke to remember his own family - thinking about how much he suffered (and still suffers) from loving them - “Perhaps…those are the ties to a failed past” - the idea that it’s not worth it to have bonds if it means you suffer this much…that it’s too difficult, it’s too painful, and if Sakura and the rest of Team 7 were smarter they would just give it up (all Sasuke knows how to do now is sever potential bonds before they can hurt him; so why aren’t Sakura and the rest of his teammates doing that, why can’t they let it go, why are they making this so hard - ) << yeah, he clearly doesn't care about her/them at all.]
4. the shadow of my family
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This has all been a really long way to answer the original question, but the short response to “What do you think about the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura?” is “I really care about it,” just like I really care about the relationship between Sasuke and Naruto, just like I really care about the relationship between Sasuke and Kakashi. And I don’t think the story ever asks me to choose between them.
I’m not sure whether it’s the impact of Boruto-era “canon” that gets in the way of other people approaching things this way (I don’t consider sequel material when I evaluate the original story), or if it’s Kishimoto’s frequent disinterest in/disrespect towards female characters, which yes, does sometimes make it harder, or if it's a shipping thing (bane of my existence), or some combination of factors, but for me, taking one member of Team 7 out of the equation hobbles the rest of the story.  I can’t read/watch Naruto while hating one of the protagonists and loving the other three.  It doesn’t work like that for me.  The story wasn’t written that way, and there’s nothing in the text that would cause me to receive it that way.
That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with disliking one of the main foursome (or any character, for that matter) - obviously we're all going to have different preferences, and everyone is free to enjoy or reject whatever parts of a story they want, or to like or dislike whatever characters they want. I know that some people have more fun disregarding canon and doing their own thing, which is fine.  My own personal zone of enjoyment comes from receiving the story as closely to how I think it was intended to be read as I can, and personally, when I look at this particular story, what I see is that all the members of Team 7 clearly demonstrate their love for Sasuke in ways that he himself later recognizes and acknowledges. All of them are driven by their desire to save him and their unwillingness to hurt him. All of them make repeated choices to chase after him when he runs away, to trust him when he hasn't exactly earned it, to give him another chance when he doesn't appear to deserve it. ALL of them, not just Naruto, do these things multiple times throughout the story, and Sasuke owes his life (and thus his eventual recovery) to ALL of them, many times over. Kakashi disobeys Hokage-elect Danzō and breaks the law to negotiate for Sasuke's life with a foreign head of state. Sakura and Kakashi both have opportunities to kill Sasuke in the Land of Iron, and they choose to spare him instead. Kakashi stops Sasuke from killing his only friends at two different points in the story, which would have been a mistake Sasuke couldn't have recovered from. Sasuke would have died in Kaguya's desert dimension if Sakura hadn't saved him (Sakura, who knew that Sasuke wasn't even truly on her side yet, who knew he'd abandoned her for dead multiple times already that day). Kaguya's bone bullet would have killed Sasuke too, if Kakashi, with his intention to die in Sasuke's place, hadn't leapt in front of it (Kakashi, who also knew that Sasuke wasn't fully on their side yet, who also knew that Sasuke had abandoned him for dead earlier that day). Sasuke and Naruto would have BOTH died in the Final Valley if Sakura and a severely injured Kakashi hadn't chased after them to heal their injuries.
Remove any one member of Team 7, and Sasuke never makes it home. Without the combined efforts of all three of his teammates, he doesn't survive.  That’s the way it should be, thematically, for a story whose first and most foundational premise was the importance of teamwork, and since Sakura was just as essential to that framework as everyone else, I’m just as invested in her relationship with Sasuke as I am in his relationship with everyone else.  You can’t remove one leg from a four-legged stool without damaging the integrity of the entire structure, and for me, discounting any single member of Team 7 irreparably damages the integrity of the entire story. 
TL;DR: I love all of the Team 7 relationships, including Sakura and Sasuke's, because despite what some segments of fandom seem to believe, the text of the story never gives me any reason not to.
#naruto#meta#replies#anyway that's that! hopefully that is a helpful answer#thank you for the question! i honestly don't think i would have ever gotten around to writing about this if i hadn't been directly asked#i love talking about the stories i enjoy (obviously; we all do; that's why we're here)#but i'm usually ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about responding to takes that blatantly misread the narrative to justify hating a particular character or ship#mostly because a) it's whatever. as long as people mind their own business and leave me to enjoy myself they can do what they want#and b) some opinions are so divorced from the actual text that they're not worth discussing#like. what's the point of responding to random internet posts saying that sakura was selfishly pursuing sasuke as a lover the entire time#when that is textually and provably not the case?#if you're that committed to experiencing things in direct contradiction to what the narrative is asking of us then just go ahead#is it mildly annoying to me? sure. but so are lots of things and it's better to just let stuff go#like - i initially planned to take this piece of meta all the way up through sakura and sasuke's last scene together#the one where he tells her 'maybe next time' and finally reclaims and redefines itachi's forehead tap (INCREDIBLE. THIS SCENE.)#but ultimately i changed my mind because everything i wrote for that last section was coming out too harsh#i generally prefer to talk about fandom stuff in a chill/friendly approachable way#but i kept thinking about the most obscenely & disrespectfully inaccurate read of that scene i'd ever seen#and i couldn't figure out how to talk about it in a non-scathing way#that scene and the one where naruto gives sasuke's headband back are the ONLY well-written things about the finale of naruto#they are SO perfectly constructed and i can't respond to people slandering either one without feeling an urge to kill#so i just deleted it. partially because again - this is fandom; it's not that serious; people can do what they want#but also because i know i get extra frustrated about people picking over the text and plucking out isolated bits and pieces#to contort into blatantly misinterpreted mutant shapes that 'confirm' whatever pre-existing judgments or ships they had#instead of experiencing the story as a cohesive whole & keeping in mind the greater context of what it's always been trying to communicate#people on this website say 'we all interpret things differently :)' as if it means no one can ever be wrong about what a text is saying#newsflash: not all interpretations of a text are valid. things can't in fact mean whatever you want them to mean.#the ***story*** persists and exists even if the author is dead to you#if you choose to ignore that then that's fine; it's just fandom; who cares. but i'm not going to pretend you're 'analyzing' anything.#(ok now i'm really done. you can see why i deleted this section XD)
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blkkatsuki · 5 months
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erm. don't look at me
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yowyowyaoi · 9 months
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Kisame’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki
From Deidara
Me and Tobi found a big muddy hole full of earthworms, let’s go fishing! 😁
We finished it last night, sorry 
I was just teasing him!
Exploding or boring?
Not a tea person but thanks anyway 
LMAOOO he probably pissed himself 🤣
Pls tell Itachi I’m not gonna hurt her I just want to pet her for a while!
Leader said he’ll kill us if we do it again so no probably not 😓
You gotta use the conditioner too or else it won’t be effective 
I’ll ask him but he don’t really like places like that. Says they’re too happy 🙄
From Hidan
If you have two does that mean one sleeps while the other fucks or ?
No offense but it’s literally so boring I can’t sit still that long 
I would say he’s giving you blue balls but.
Can’t imagine giving a shit but 🤷‍♂️
Tried that once. Got the mask halfway off and suddenly felt like I was drowning. Never again.
Old bastard said no 😑
You need to watch him he takes like two bites and pushes the plate away 
How? Half of us are gay half are insane and some are both 🤣
One dick, two dicks, your dicks, BLUE dicks! Lol get it??
From Sasori
Thanks but water erodes my “skin”.
I’m done reading it, you can borrow if you like.
Please make sure he puts on sunscreen he’s too stubborn to listen to me.
Don’t really remember all that well but I believe it was ice cream.
He has to *want* treatment and so far he’s turned down every offer Kakuzu or myself has made.
They make for more appealing puppets if they have some unique physical characteristic while they’re still living.
I’ll probably marry him some day but first he has to work on not blowing himself to bits.
Oh of course. You know you don’t need to ask.
From Kakuzu
Hey I almost beat you and I’m 60+ years your senior.
Just this once … no charge. Worth it to see him freak out like that.
I’m not very well-versed in animal anatomy but I can take a look and try my best.
EVERYBODY pays. Itachi too.
Fits nice. My thanks.
This place is falling apart, if it’s not one thing it’s another.
It’s annoying but I don’t see any serious long-term effects.
From Konan
That’s so sweet, thank you ☺️ 
Write down the exact kind for me, I’ll pick it up the next time I go to the market.
He’s a sweetheart isn’t he? 🥰
I’ll take your word for it, but ducks are so cute I don’t think I could eat one.
Come to my room I have some eye drops that’ll help him.
If I let that happen no work would ever be done and they’d likely kill each other.
So many miles, with these heels it’s hard on my feet.
If you want it that rare then there’s really no point to me cooking it at all 😒
At this point the yelling has become background music.
Me on one shoulder and Itachi on the other. You big show-off 😁
From Tobi/Obito
You only beat me because Deidara distracted me!
Forty cookies isn’t even that many. Plus Itachi ate two more.
Kakuzu said to earn the money myself so I stole one of his bounties 🤷🏻‍♂️
Itches. A LOT.
Can’t stand tea but if you have any hot chocolate, yeah.
You should hang out with Zetsu more often then. Like one never-ending picnic.
He really wants to go but I don’t have a pole. You have a spare?
Yeah but he might let us get a fish-tank if YOU said you needed it, like for health or something 
Sushi? Isn’t that cannibalism?!
Fuck him AND his perfect ass. Literally and figuratively.
Don’t give me that “kid” shit, we’re like the same age!
From Zetsu
You want to split that guy’s leg with me? He was very fat, lots of good meat 😋
He’s a good man but doesn’t his dubious emotional state concern you?
It’s a lot like hearing two voices at once. Constantly. 
It’s no fun if they don’t scream a bit first. You know this.
I did the scouting; that lake about five miles up the road is both deep and fairly clean.
Let’s hide under his bed and scare him. I bet money we can get him to soil himself while crying for that damn Jashin 🤣
From Nagato
I thank you for the tea. It helped me to sleep.
Well, keep an eye on him.
The pain is worse when I stand but Sasori is working on prosthetics for me that may solve the problem.
As long as you return in time for your next mission.
Get that looked at as soon as possible. We can’t afford to have you out of commission.
I do, but she deserves so much better than myself.
I’ll speak to Kakuzu about getting you a new one.
If you two are going to do that, please keep it away from our hideouts. It disturbs Konan to hear the screaming.
From Itachi
I ate this morning. Promise.
That wasn’t Hidan’s fault, I’d forgotten to take my pill so my reflexes were slow.
Just consider it. Uchiha Kisame. Say it out loud. It’s beautiful 😌
Can you check if I left that shirt in your room?
Dei and I went there last night. The manager banned us for life because Dei set off a C3 in the men’s room. 😑
Fine. You buy the skirt I’ll “model” it for you.
Sad. Come stay with me please.
You worry too much.
That picture is for YOUR EYES ONLY. 
Aww what do you mean? Kitty loves you she’s not trying to eat you!
It’s one that Konan gave me. It’s really good you’d probably like it too.
Tea?
I didn’t *fall* in, he *pushed* me. Big difference.
Mom taught me when I was younger. I can teach you too if you want.
You’re mine too. Always ❤️
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