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shotorozu · 3 years

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attractive things you do a lot

[sorta milestone celebration, but also something i made during todo’s birthday]

character(s) : multiple; five or more.

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, hinted to have a strong quirk but it’s not mentioned alot

post type : headcanons + scenario [fluff, the mildest of spice.] third year au! but it’s nothing nsfw, so no need to worry.

note(s) : i was planning on doing denki, tamaki, monoma, and 2 other characters— but my idea train stopped at shinsou so i’m sorry about that! just let me manifest some ideas rq, and i’ll make a part two.

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

eye contact is so attractive to him, he can’t explain it’s exact details

it’s definitely the way the both of you guys can practically read each other’s expressions just by staring into each other’s eyes it’s sorta telepathic?? im half joking

he absolutely loves the way you look away bashfully when you realize he’s staring at you— as you try to pretend he wasn’t just staring at you not so discreetly

and if you feel like it, you’ll stare back at him— totally teasing him with your eyes, as he slowly realizes that you’ve caught him staring

really adores your thinking face for some reason, you could be plotting about giving bakugou a knuckle sandwich, and shouto would just stare like “my s/o’s so attractive :))”

another thing he really likes is when you hold onto his hand, dragging his left side to your face whenever you feel colder than usual

you practically do the same thing when it’s too hot, and he doesn’t care if you’re sweaty or not. nope, not one bit.

he always found it attractive when he sees you bop your head to songs you really like. shouto just really likes seeing you enjoy yourself.

an extra to the cool/hot bit, he makes you run towards his direction by turning off the ac/heater.

last but not the least, his heart swoons when you kiss his scar. he has always been insecure about it, and you have helped him a lot!

mild spice here— whenever you bite your lip, his heart skips a beat

your lips are just so perfect to him, the shape, size, and color. so biting your lip does something alright. he doesn’t know what exactly though.

to conclude this, todoroki’s just whipped for you— it’s very noticable when he finds you extra attractive.

midoriya izuku

he loves seeing you hyped about something you’re really interested in.

like todoroki, seeing you enjoy yourself genuinely makes him content. his s/o having their own interests is really big for him

strength is something he admires (but he’s not power hungry like end*avor, don’t get confused).

so no, it doesn’t just reflect on your strong and capable quirk—

no. it’s so much deeper than that to him, seeing that you can overcome challenges makes his heart swoon

when you tilt your head when listening to him- omg. he might just short circuit from the way you’re looking at him intensely.

he likes it a lot when you reach for his hand, enveloping your hand against his

an extra point if you pay extra attention to the callouses and scars on his hands— purposely rubbing a thumb across his scars

fixing his tie.

like.. [SIMP SCREAMS] he doesn’t really know how to fix it properly, but if you do it for him— he’ll start imagining a rather domestic life so BWNDNWNS warn him

mild spice here— but he loves seeing you fix your hero costume?? there’s something about it that makes him refuse to look away. he thinks you’re very hot btw

but the top tier? it’s when you get along with his mom, and children

like.. you don’t have to be good with them, but you should at least be nice to them! midoriya’s deal breaker is if you don’t get along with his mom so.. you really have to in this relationship

bakugou katsuki

when you put him back in his place- well.. let me explain this one

people are so easily intimidated by him, so people don’t talk at him when he says some shit

so he’ll be genuinely surprised if you talk back at him, because it shows him that you're not afraid of him (and that’s important in a relationship with bakugou)

when you put his face in his palms. he’ll scowl and tell you off, but he actually likes holding your face in his palms

his hands are naturally clammy, so he’s secretly so insecure about them, and if you show him that you really don’t care- then.. that’ll keep him up at night.

same thing with shouto, but if you run to him for warm in colder weathers, that’ll give him an ego boost.

knowing that you’ll only look for him, whenever you feel cold makes him feel all “mushy” inside. again, like how bakugou is- he’ll pretend he absolutely despises it but he’ll actually love it.

mild spice here- but seeing you all worn out, panting under him when he spars with you is something that’ll leave him speechless for the rest of the day. man can’t stop thinking about it, and he has to restrain himself.

last but not the least- it’s when you touch/play with his hair.

YUUUP.

so unexpected because he never lets anyone touch it, sometimes not even his own mother.

but the only hands that are touching the ash blond mesh that is his hair is you.

do whatever with them. create small braids, comb it, tie it with a scrunchy, straighten it. really- he has trust in you

he’s just so whipped when you do it, and it calms him down.

kirishima eijirou

when you call him manly 🤠

and when you do things he considers as ‘manly’ like going out of your way to train your quirk— and helping him study for something he doesn’t quite get and when you succeed

another ‘manly’ thing is when you manage to encourage him— because he himself had confidence issues

so if you do that, he’ll be planning the wedding asap

whenever you just make grabby hands at his hair— wanting to style his hair

oh and if you wanted to redo his roots (if they grow back) then he’ll let you <3 because he absolutely adores it

when you start tracing his jawline when you’re staring at him. he was very caught off guard when you did this for the first time

but he absolutely loves the sensation.

stretching before any exercise! just the way you twist yourself with ease.. he’s mesmerized

he stares a little too much, to the point he gets called out by bakugou multiple times

a little spicy here — he likes your teeth. normal teeth, canine teeth, fangs, whatever!

doesn’t matter if you’re bite your lip, or runnig your tongue along the edge of a tooth. are you trying to seduce him?

he will be seduced 💀 face practically rivalling his faux red hair, trying to avert his gaze— thinking about how pretty you just looked like.

last but not the least!

back hugs. he’s such a fan of them, regardless if you’re taller than him, or shorter

surprise him, and he’ll turn around with this big dopey smile— and he’ll trap you in his arms

shinsou hitoshi

okay, if you randomly send him pictures of yourself (either your prettiest pictures, or the weirdest pictures) he’ll be so in love

like— just look at you! you’re gorgeous to him (saves every singe candid photo you’ve send him)

this is a really weird one but.. when you pick up things with your feet (bonus points if you do it with ease.)

when you start fixing your hair, doing whatever to it— he’s just in awe. (have you hypnotized him with your beauty?)

get him things for his hair like headbands, scrunchies, little barretts and pigtails

he’ll keep it in for as long as he can— since his hair is a little wild, a little braid or ponytail wouldn’t hurt, right?

spice warning (?) whispering into his ear makes his heart pound 10x faster like.. are you trying to kill him?

his quirk gave him a habit of listening to someone’s voice.. a little too much.

SO IF YOU WHISPER IN HIS EAR, HE’LL STOP FUNCTIONING :) do whatever with that info tbh

last but never the least— when you support him, and his journey to becoming a hero

because people have told him that he’ll never be a hero because his quirk was too villainy

nope. you think differently, and that’s what he thinks is most attractive about you.

the ability to support and believe him, even if his quirk seems a little misleading.

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing.

do not plagiarize my work :))

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arse-crack-thistle · 3 years

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gifts

rwrb and the five love languages | part two

in which june struggles to have a nice valentine’s date with nora

June never expected to care this much about a stupid holiday like Valentine’s Day, but here she is, practically renovating the apartment to give her girlfriend a perfect night. She strings LED lights around the entire living room ceiling and uses Command hooks to drape the sheer, white Ikea curtains she bought on sale months ago in preparation for this. The lights glow pink through the curtains, making the usually neutral-toned living room appear like Aphrodite’s palace. June’s moved the coffee table into her room and replaced it with a fluffy blanket and a picnic set-up to rival TikTok lesbians. All she needs now is Nora, if only she weren’t stuck at school.

The texts say, Will be late! Data mining for the gods! [Monet X Change gif] I want to be home with you though. Will bring noodles! And chocolate! Scratch that, I ate the chocolate. Sorry.

June knows she shouldn’t be annoyed because Nora has no idea what she’s coming home to. She also knows who she got into a relationship with—a brilliant mind that’s constantly moving parsecs a minute and has a hard time communicating her feelings. June has to remind herself that Nora loves her even if she doesn’t always show it.

That’s what tonight is for. It’ll give them time to slow down and just be together. Break the routine. Talk or not talk. She doesn’t expect it to be mushy or obnoxious—June isn’t a super, flowery romantic herself—but she does want another sentimental moment to hold onto forever.

Like the night of the 2020 election over a year ago. After Alex and Henry slipped away and everyone else was celebrating in their own groups, Nora pulled June into a storage closet at the venue and kissed her point blank, leaving no questions in her mind that their dabbles the months before meant something more than spectacular.

Or like six months ago when Nora asked her if she wanted to move in with her. She didn’t do anything particularly special, but she slammed her laptop shut while June was throwing on one of her sweatshirts and asked her to stay—to take the second bedroom because Nora needs space sometimes—but to stay with her because she was her favorite person. June answered with a happy “yes,” and Nora got up and kissed her. They didn’t talk much more about it; June just packed up her room at the White House and let the world think they were very best friends.

June pours a glass of wine and waits on the couch, flipping through social media. A few hours ago, her brother posted a picture from the Valentine’s gala he and Henry threw for the London queer youth center. Alex, Henry, Bea, Catherine, and even Philip and Martha hold champagne flutes with cheeky smiles on their faces. The POTUS account has a sweet yet posed picture of her mother and Leo. She likes everything she sees, from the various celebrities she follows to the photos she’s tagged in by fans. The time on her phone reminds her Nora’s now over an hour late.

She texts her, Home soon?

Ten minutes later her phone dings. Need more time. Almost done!

You are aware it’s Valentine’s, yes? And that we had plans?

Yes!!!! But flexible plans, right? Not like we can’t eat noodles and make out later. Will leave soon though. Promise.

I got food covered. Just get home please.

June sighs. She thought she made it clear this morning that they deserved a night with no distractions. God, they need to talk; she’s afraid to, but nothing will get better if she doesn’t say anything and if they don’t try.

The charcuterie board spread she copied off of Pinterest has been sitting out for a while so she moves it from the floor to the fridge. “Soon” for Nora could mean an hour. Empty coffee mugs line the sink. An open pack of weed gummies sits on the counter, hardening. Binders of paperwork and schoolwork collect on the kitchen table. There’s so much Nora in here. June redecorated the living room and kitchen when she moved in, but Nora’s managed to touch everything.

She smiles. If this were Alex, she’d be pissed at the mess, but it’s Nora. The beautiful, erratic mess that is Nora. The girl who can have four different shows on at once and can still get shit done. The girl who always burns pancakes when she tries to cook breakfast for June. The girl who never fails to kiss her first.

June won’t lose her. So she sits down on the floor, runs her fingers over the fleece, and waits. And drinks more wine.

Sometime later, when a key turns in the lock, she downs the last sip in her glass and sets it down. Some old love songs play from her phone, the ones she and Nora love to make fun of. She hears her girlfriend curse when her key gets stuck, and then she bursts through the door and catches herself before she could slip on the hardwood.

“I know you said you got food covered, but I got noodles any—Whoa! You did all of this?” Nora walks into the living room with takeout bags in her hands and stares, mesmerized, at the ceiling. Her contacts must’ve been bothering her because she has on her back-up glasses.

“Hi. Happy Valentine’s Day,” June says and reaches for Nora’s hand to pull her down.

“I’m sorry, June. I had no idea. I thought we both hated this holiday, so tonight wasn’t that big of a deal. But this—this is beautiful,” Nora says, having a hard time meeting June’s eyes.

“Thanks.” June rubs Nora’s hand with her thumb. “And this isn’t really about the holiday. I just wanted to give something nice to you—to us—just us. With no distractions.”

The strings from “At Last” by Etta James play from the phone. The curtains billow from the air blowing out the vent. As much as she hates to ruin the moment, June has to start the conversation.

But Nora takes a deep breath and talks first. “I know I’m a bit all over the place but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I just have a lot going on.”

“I know, but sometimes it feels like you don’t care about us as much as I do. It feels like an afterthought to you,” June says.

“That’s not true, June! Come on! You know me.” She grabs June’s other hand and squeezes.

She squeezes back. “You don’t act with feelings in mind, but I know you have them. And I know it’s hard for you, but I need you to share them with me more. I need a reminder that you care every once in a while.”

Nora’s quiet. She uses her arm to wipe her eyes, knocking her glasses off. “I—I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.”

June’s chest collapses. She wraps Nora up in her arms. “I’m sorry, Nor. I don’t mean you’re not enough for me. I love you so much. I—”

“No, I understand. I just—I need help with that. I need you to tell me when you need more—maybe not after the fact like now but—”

June laughs and pulls away. “You’re right. I have a stewing problem. I just assume you’ll eventually get it.”

“Yeah, don’t assume that.” Nora laughs too—the big kind that shows all of her teeth. “Reign me in when I’ve been off for too long. And know it’s not on purpose. I’m seriously spiraling in my own head the majority of the time.”

“Ha! And a hot head it is too.”

They both pause and look into each other’s eyes. And bust out into laughing fits. June makes a fart sound with her mouth, and Nora tackles her. They rumble around on the blanket for about forty seconds before June’s wine glass tips over and surprisingly bounces instead of shattering.

The girls take that as an opportunity to stop and pour some more glasses of wine. Nora preps the takeout while June brings the charcuterie board back to the indoor picnic. Nora changes the music to some weird techno shit, but June snatches the phone. They compromise with One Direction, which makes no sense since 1. June only knows their last album and 2. Nora definitely remembers the story of June turning down the advances of one Niall Horan when she did the daytime talk show circuit after her book deal was announced.

Either way, they stuff their faces and end up cuddled on the floor.

Nora interrupts the moment. “Before we get to sexy time—"

“Jesus Christ.”

“I just wanted to give you something. I would’ve saved it for your birthday, but I can get you something else.” She pops up from the floor and jogs to her bedroom. When she reemerges, she’s carrying a bunched-up blanket. “I didn’t have time to properly wrap it because—you know, you weren’t going to get it yet—although, it probably wouldn’t’ve been wrapped later either—but anyways, happy Valentine’s Day.”

She crouches down and hands over the present. She smiles and bops up and down in anticipation. June unwraps the blanket and sees a book.

It’s one of those photobooks you can get at Walgreens, and on the cover, it reads, “Catalina June Claremont-Diaz and Nora Elizabeth Holleran are NOT good friends…” June flips it over. “They’re fucking GIRLFRIENDS!” Inside is page after page of pictures as early as the day they first met and as recent as New Year’s Eve a month ago. A lot of candid pics they take of each other—Nora’s favorites. A lot of sleepy, cuddle pics—June’s favorites. It’s so perfect.

“Nora—this is—wow.” She feels the tears coming. No one has given her anything like this before.

“I’ll be better—”

“So will I.”

“No matter where my head’s at, I’m always thinking of you—just 50 million other things as well,” Nora says and cups her chin.

June leans in. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Nora kisses her, and everything wound up in June relaxes. Her body is so warm. “Best Song Ever” starts playing.

Cue sexy time.

check out the rest of my rwrb and the five love languages series: part one, part three, part four, and part five. (links to come as they’re released)

so this could be for quality time or gifts, but i decided to go with gifts since i had no other ideas for it! it’s definitely not my love language (quality time for the win!) but i had to write something lol. so i made it sapphic bc everything gay is better! <3

rwrb romance week | @rwrb-fests

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girlgrouptrash101 · 5 years

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Krystal (f(x)) as Your Girlfriend

Request: “can u plsplspls do krystal as your gf? hehe thanks 💖 ur cool”

“Hey can u write a krystal x reader or krystal as ur girlfriend? She’s my ulti as well, so I’d love to read sth from someone who loves her as much as I do uwu Also ur talented as hell! xx”

A/N: literally my ult of ults,,, krystal i LOVE YOU jfghewrli

- C

Krystal had liked you for a while, but the only person she told initially was Jessica, and eventually, she let her members in on the secret too

She was way too shy to ever ask you out, no matter how much Sica egged her on, she just couldn’t do it.

Eventually, she finally gave in and asked for her friends and her sister to give her advice on how she should ask you out - She ended up taking you on a simple walk and confessing, contrary to Amber’s suggestion of ‘Pay a pilot to tie your confession on the back of a plane and fly across Seoul’

Museum and Art Gallery dates, just because she’s always had an eye for that kind of thing, and you’re willing to go anywhere just to see a smile on Krystal’s face

you find it so endearing to see her explain each piece of art or sculpture with her own unique point of view, and after a while, she teaches you enough that you often just spend hours talking about your different perspectives of artists’ work

You always have your phone or a camera on hand, because Krystal is a huge fan of candid photos, and most of them end up on her Instagram

she’s quite cryptic though, so she’ll often post photos of you holding hands or walking side by side, but she never includes your face

Krystal is quite an introverted person, so she wants to keep her dating life private because she knows that media exposure could interfere with your lives and that you may not be comfortable with that sort of thing

Baby Jung struggles with her emotions sometimes, she tends to keep things bottled up until everything just gets too much and she breaks down

you always make sure you’re there for her when things get a bit much for her, she doesn’t trust anyone else with her thoughts apart from Jessica

she just slumps into your arms, letting out all her pent up frustration and tears while you listen to her, playing with her hair and reassuring her when she needs it

And Krystal appreciates that so much more than you’ll ever know, because she’s grown up in an industry where no one listens, no one cares, and no one wants to know what you’re going through, because to everyone else, she’s living a perfect life.

Secretly really cuddly and clingy when she wants to be, but she’ll never ever act like that around anyone else - and if you tease her for it then she’ll be pissed and won’t cuddle you until she’s done sulking

Whenever you ask for kisses she always pushes you away, telling you you’re gross and mushy - until she sees a pout and she grabs your collar, pulling you in for a kiss that leaves you speechless every time

if Krystal is teasing you, all you have to do is go to your fridge and pull out a cucumber and she will YEET out of the situation

gets so embarrassed by your antics, especially if it’s in public or if you’re doing something dumb with her members (especially amber wbk)

Whenever Krystal has to go away with work, she hates saying goodbye to you, because you're the only person who completes her so perfectly and she always wants you by her side

so whenever she's allowed, she always tries to take you with her on her travels, whether it be work or leisure

she loves making memories with you, and you both find yourself recalling them when you're snuggled up late at night in bed, chatting about your favourite times together

at the end of the day, she always helps you take your makeup or whatever off and cleans your face and you do the same for her

she always makes fun of you though, or like smacks your face really hard with the sponge, and both of you are just laughing your heads off at it, not even getting your faces clean by the end of the night

Krystal may act a little possessive or jealous at times, but it's just because she loves you so much and doesn't ever want to lose you

you always take the time to reassure her that you're hers though, and she usually ends up responding with something like, "Oh really? Then prove it."

and you just grab her by the waist and pull her in, kissing her in front of everyone and making her mind go blank

Krystal loves breakfast in bed because it means that you're getting to lie in, and she loves the peace that comes when it's just the two of you

She feels like she can really and truly breathe again, not being surrounded by cameras and people, she could relax and put her mind at ease for a few hours, and she loved it.

Not to mention the fact that you cook some mean pancakes and have the best cuddles, Krystal couldn't ask for more

When Krystal gets frustrated, she often can't find the words to tell you what's going on so she writes it all down and gives it to you, knowing her hand won't betray her like her mouth often does

whenever she compliments you she whispers it in your ear and it never fails to send chills down your spine and put a blush on your face

and she always calls you baby, because she knows how flustered it makes you and she thinks it's really cute

Krystal is super duper caring even if she's not the best at showing it, and she does everything with you in mind, and that's just what love is all about :')

NSFW From Here:

A switch

she often tops when she's pissed off, grunting with each thrust and doing her best to get all her pent up anger out

she gets super soft after though, making sure that it still feels good and that she didn't hurt you in any way

Krystal often tries to hide her moans from you, unless she knows that you have a 100% of not being heard

she's super good at taking the time to learn your body, knowing exactly what gets you going and all the right places for her to hit

She'd love for you to mark up her skin, but she always has to remind you not to do it in anywhere visible or else the press and cameras would easily pick it up and start asking questions

when Krystal is tired but in the mood, she just pulls you to your bed, lying down and spreading her legs for you

after you've made her come a few times, she drifts off to sleep and you can't help but laugh at how much of a pillow princess she can be at times

Krystal gets super shy whenever you send nudes, but she saves every picture and keeps them in a locked folder on her phone for when she's missing you ;)

one time you found it and teased her - she just rolled her eyes and smashed her lips against yours, giving you a night you'd remember for a long time.

gets embarrassed with eye contact for the most part, but sometimes she just can't help herself when her eyes meet your hooded ones, and she lets out a long moan of your name

low-key loves it when she's pleasuring you and you pull her hair to bring her closer to you, it always makes her feel like she's doing a good job

when Krystal is turned on you'll know about it, because what baby Jung wants, baby Jung gets

is not afraid to bite you or get a little rough when she needs to

always turns into a clingy mess afterwards, wrapping her hands around you, falling asleep, and not letting go until she wakes up

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years

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The gone but never forgotten queen; Brian May x reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well for those who have enjoyed the first couple of parts to “Soulmates through music” I hereby am proud to announce that I have not one but two that’s right TWO chapters for you all. So here my lovely darlings in the long awaited part 2.

Now just be warned THERE IS SOME ANGST HERE. I tried to do as much medical research as I could so if there is anything I got wrong about it, please please please please please PLEASE inform me, especially if you yourselves suffer through this condition I have written. Other than the swearing contained in here and the angst, there’s nothing else really to be said about warnings. I hope you all enjoy this my darlings and be on the look out for pt.3 coming up shortly :)

Links to other parts.

Part 1 Part 1.5 Part 3 Part 4

Queen Taglist:

@geek-and-proud

__________________________________________________________

*1979*

It was the end of yet another show. A stage handler handed me a towel and I wiped my forehead and dabbed my cheeks wiping the sweat that was pouring off my face.

“(Y/n) darling you were fantastic out there!” I heard Freddie’s voice praise me as I felt him tackle me from behind in a hug. I laughed and patted his hand as I said.

“Hey just doin as you taught me Fred.” I felt him kiss my cheek and that’s when Roger’s voice piped.

“Oi Brian, I think your wife’s replaced you with Fred!”

“Fuck you Taylor!” I cried out. He stuck his tongue at me and I flipped him off meanwhile Brian and Deacy soon came into the view and I left Fred’s embrace and went to my husband’s and we kissed each other and I said to him. “You know you’re the only guy for me right?”

“I would assume so my love.”

“You are never doubt yourself. To me you will always be my Emperor penguin.”

“And you’re my empress penguin.” We kissed each other again as Roger said again.

“God I can’t take this mushy gooey shit another second.”

“One day though Rog you’ll get that girl and then it’ll be our turn to make fun of you.” Brian said as he turned towards the blonde drummer.

In our dressing room we were all back in normal clothes and I was wiping away the makeup from my face when Freddie said.

“Come on darling we’re gonna head on over to the pub around the corner.” I stopped wiping my makeup away for a brief moment and said as I turned towards the guys.

“You all go on ahead, I’ll catch up with you later.”

“You sure (y/n)?” asked Deacy.

“Yeah. Don’t worry guys I’m fine, now go on I’ll literally be right behind you.”

“Okay if you say so.” It was then Freddie, Roger and Deacy left the dressing room and headed on down to the pub we had passed on our way here. I turned back towards the mirror and looked down at my hands and rubbed my left wrist as I could feel the numbing pain once more.

I felt two hands rub up and down my biceps and a kiss at my temple.

“Your wrists again dear?”

“Yeah, they’re even more numb than the last show we played at.” I felt Brian take one of my hands as he came around and knelt down beside me. His long, calloused fingers very softly stroked my hands I turned to look at Brian and he kissed the underside of my wrist up to my palm before saying.

“Perhaps you should take a break from tomorrow night’s performance.”

“Brian this is the 12th show I’ll be missing of the tour. The press is starting to get on my ass on why I’ve been skipping shows, already spilling out lies about me.”

“Darling you know as well as I that the press always want to rile any famous face up, just to get us to really start something and make us seem the bad guys here.”

“I know, god why must they be so horrible to people?”

“That’s a question I wish I had an answer to.” He placed his hand against my cheek and said as he stared into my eyes, “But seriously, as your husband I insist you take tomorrow night’s performance off. Doctor’s orders.”

“But I don’t want to let the guys down. I feel like now I’m just being dead weight by skipping all these shows.”

“You know that they’d never think of you so lowly. They adore you, and they’re worried about you just as much as I am.”

“Well don’t. I think I’m just overexerting myself with all this new music we’ve been creating. Trying to improvise on how certain songs that don’t really need keyboard accompaniment would sound.”

“Just need a bit more rest, give your hands and wrists time to heal.” He finished for me. I smiled at him and he softly smiled back. “C’mon, let’s go home.”

“What about the guys?”

“They’ll be fine, you’re my number one priority right now.” Suddenly I was picked up bridal style. I let out a soft shriek and laughed as I said.

“Bri, my legs are fine it’s just my wrists that hurt.”

“But you have been standing all night long, your feet must be killing you my love, the least I can do it give you a lift to your carriage.” I laughed as I shook my head at him and said.

“You silly penguin.”

“Ahh but your silly penguin.” He said as his forehead touched mine, our noses just barely grazing each other’s.

“Yeah, my strong emperor penguin.”

“My beautiful empress penguin.” We Eskimo kissed each other and not once separated until we threw our heads back (think of it like the two penguin love gesture that they do when they nuzzle each other and shake their heads as they throw them back).

The next day while Brian had gone to rehearsals I stayed at the house with the kids and my mum who wanted to visit her two favorite grandchildren. Almost a year ago, Jimmy had come into the world out of nowhere but we’re ever so grateful for our little boy, and of course little Chloe adores her brother. Even at only a year old she always want to be around him, they take naps together, they play together, eat together, swing on the swings together.

I just hope as they get older it’ll stay that way and that we don’t have to deal with any sibling drama.

Currently I was just fixing up the kid’s lunch as it was getting close to their lunchtime according to the schedule that Brian and I had agreed to while my mum entertained the kids.

“So how have things been going between you and Brian dear?” I heard her ask.

“Great mum. He’s still as humble as the day I met him, I can’t say the same for Roger though.” I teased. “Okay give me my children mum, it’s lunchtime.”

“Okay my little duckies, you both ready for lunch? You both ready for lunch?” I could hear Chloe babbling cutely and Jimmy clapping his hands. My mum soon came into the kitchen with both my kids in each arm and I cooed out as I reached for Jimmy.

“You ready to eat my little man huh? You ready to eat?” But as I went to pick him up by his underarms, I felt this sudden shot of agonizing pain. It was like having a hammer suddenly slam right on your hand without warning or receiving an electrical shot times 50.

I cried out in pain which had my mum worried scared.

“Oh my god (y/n) baby what is it? What hurts?” With all my screaming and crying, it made the kids start to cry too. My mum set the kids down in their chairs and came over to me and took my hands and placed a bag of frozen peas over them as she tried to soothe me.

Within fifteen minutes after icing them and finally getting the kids to calm down, the shocking pain was gone and replaced with the normal numbness. My mum sat on the couch feeding Jimmy now after just feeding Chloe.

“How long has this been going on for?” I didn’t answer her. “(Y/n) (m/n) May you tell me right now or so help me—”

“I don’t know mum, truly I don’t.” Actually that was a lie. But I’m always been such a convincing person that I can make a lie sound like the truth.

Hell if I’m being honest, I think this pain first started the night Brian, Roger and I met Freddie. The pain started up around then, it came in short intervals then it wouldn’t happen again for another few months or so. But it truly started to get this bad shortly after Jimmy was born and of course Brian being the clever person that he is, saw right through my lies and I told him about the pain I’ve been experiencing.

“(Y/n) sweetie I really think you should see a doctor about this.”

“I have mum, the medics always tell me just to ice it, have it be supported at night and hope that it goes away.”

“Well what do those concert medics know? What I just witnessed it seems like they don’t know shit.”

“Mum!”

“I’m sorry but it’s true. I’ll make you an appointment with your father’s physical therapist and see what he says. I’ll even come with you.”

“No mum don’t. I’m not a little girl anymore that’s scared to go to the doctors. I can do it myself. I’ll find someone else to do this, besides somehow the press got a hold of where dad’s therapist clinic was and I don’t want to be bombarded with their bull.”

“Okay darling, promise me you’ll call me and tell me what the doctor will tell you.” My mum asked as she placed a hand on my cheek.

“I promise mum.” I rubbed her arm and kissed it and she wrapped her arm around me and I lay my head on her chest as she kissed the top of my head.

That night I lay there on my empty bed wearing one of Brian’s nightshirts wishing that he was here with me. Truth is, I’m terrified about what I will find out. I don’t know if this is some type of new cancer or if something else is truly wrong with me and I could be dying. I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to leave Brian, Deacy, Rog, Freddie or the kids this soon.

I gripped Brian’s pillow and softly cried into it trying to imagine being in Brian’s arms hoping that would bring me comfort but unfortunately it didn’t and I ended up crying myself to sleep.

The next few days were a blur as I tried to find myself the perfect doctor that wouldn’t spill the beans to the press about what I will find wrong with myself. It was hard trust me, but I managed to find a perfect candidate; Dr. Stephen Matthews a PCP and neurologist.

I called his office and told him who I was and told him that if I were to meet him then there has to be utter secrecy of what will be discussed between us. I wanted it to be just him and me in the room at all times, locked doors, blinds shut, everything.

Amazingly he agreed to the terms and told me that his job was not only to diagnose his patients but also ensure the secrecy of their diagnoses. It was then I made an appointment with him first thing the next morning.

At 4:30am I woke up and stood in the bathroom getting ready for my appointment. After getting some makeup on, I then bumped it up a notch and put my hair in a tight bun before placing a wig cap over my head. Once I had hidden all traces of my normal hair strands, I reached for the short asymmetrical pure black bob wig that sat right there on a mannequin head.

Just to fool around with the press, I still kept in touch with an old friend and my former roommate from University, Nadia Romanoff who was into theatre specifically hair and makeup and let me tell you she was amazing at it. So amazing that she immediately got hired for the London Shakespearean theater to work for them, now she’s in the film industry in America.

Free of charge and as sorta payback for making me her guinea pig for most of the term that I was there, I had asked her if she could hook me up with some different wigs to which she replied. So the 10 wigs I keep stored away with my concert attires, are all wigs personally made by her, made from real human hair donated from barbershops for purposes such as Nadia’s.

I placed the wing on top of my head and messed around with it and brushed it out until it looked like I had a completely different hairstyle, especially since I was known for my long (h/c). So with this hairstyle I would just look like another person. I sighed deeply as I stared at myself in the mirror.

After dropping the kids off at Brian’s mum’s place since she was always an early riser than my own mum was, I drove to Stephen’s clinic. As the sun was starting to rise, I entered inside the clinic and walked down the silent hallway until I reached his office.

We then began doing various tests and x-rays on both hands and of course like all doctors he asked me the basic questions. When did it start? How long has it been going on for? Did I have any family history with this kind of pain, etc.

And it was then at 7:15am when Dr. Matthews came in and sat down in front of me with a file in his hand and he told me exactly what it was that was causing my wrists and hands so much pain.

CTS. Otherwise known as Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Having not heard of this before the first thing I asked him was how long I’ve got to live. To which he answered that it’s not cancerous or even dangerous, but it’s apparently when there’s a pinched nerve in the wrists are blocked which is why I’ve been experiencing the numbness.

He said sometimes it is caused by over stressing of the wrists whether it was due to sewing, manufacturing, writing, or in my case, piano playing. He also said some contributing factors to CTS was due to fluid retention during pregnancy or menopause. He even mentioned that it’s not uncommon because women were three times more likely to get diagnosed with CTS than men were, so he assured me I wasn’t the only woman he’s diagnosed with this problem.

“Do you understand Mrs. May? The—way we go from here you can either continue home remedies such as icing and supporting it as you sleep along with some medications and some braces, or we could operate.”

“What would the operation entail?” I asked him.

“Well it wouldn’t be too excessive, just enough for a neurosurgeon to just cut the ligaments to relieve the pressure, no overnight stay required. But due to the severity and the amount of wait time you’ve had to get this checked out the surgery would pose an even greater risk than had you’d been diagnosed a few years ago.”

“What would happen to me?”

“There’s—a risk of potential nerve damage. There could be a high chance of you never being able to control your fingers specifically your thumbs, index and tall fingers. The choice is all up to you, I’m only just explaining the risks that could happened should you choose the surgical path. If not then it’ll just be home remedies and prescribed medication for the rest of your life to help with the numbness and the pain from spiking up as you had told me about when you tried to pick up your son.” I nodded my head and I asked him.

“Can you give me a couple of days to think it over?”

“Of course, for now I’m going to give you a pharmacy address for where you can pick up your wrist braces, then once you’ve reached a decision call me back and we can discuss on where we go from there.” I thanked him for his time and I walked down the hallway toward the exit.

Just before I could walk out the door, I soon heard someone say to me which echoed through the still empty hallway.

“Dynamite with a laser beam.” I stopped in place and turned to see a woman around my age with a brace on her wrist too. The corner of my mouth lifted as I responded back to her.

“Guarantee to blow your mind.” Her eyes widened and I smiled softly at her and held my index finger to my lips telling her not to give away our secret. She smiled at me and I walked out of the clinic and drove back to my step-mum’s house to pick up the kids and take them home.

A week passed and I still hadn’t come to a decision just yet. I still wore the wrist braces but I was still on the fence about going on medications for the rest of my life or risking a surgery that could mess up my nerves forever.

As I was rocking Jimmy for his afternoon nap, a knock was soon heard at the door. Jimmy grumbled and fussed at being woken up just as he was about to fall asleep. I sighed heavily vowing to kill whomever it was that was at the door for waking up my stubborn boy. I reached the door and opened it and I was shocked to see just who was standing on the other side.

“Tim?”

“Hey (y/n), been awhile, hadn’t it?”

“Yeah uhh—” I didn’t know what to say to him. It’s been god I don’t know almost ten years since I’ve spoken to my brother and now all of a sudden here he is at my doorstep.

“Can—I come in?” he asked. Normally I would’ve declined this offer but I knew I had to be the adult here, we’re both grown ups now and it’s time to bury the hatchet. Plus he came all this way and it’d be rude for me to just throw him back out on the street.

“Sure, yeah please come in.” I opened the door further for him and led him inside.

We now sat in the parlor and I handed Tim his coffee just like how he liked it; black no sugar. He set the mug down after having a sip and I held Jimmy close to me trying to get him to go back to sleep.

“Which one is this?” asked Tim.

“This is Jimmy, your nephew. Chloe is currently napping right now. But you can look through that album under the table at Chloe’s baby book.” He nodded and took Chloe’s baby book out and began browsing through it. He softly smiled and said.

“She looks just like you did when you were first born.”

“That’s what mum said.” Silence rang through the room and that’s when I said, “Tim not that I don’t appreciate you coming here but—why are you here?”

“Mum told me about your diagnoses that your secret doctor gave you, that CST.”

“CTS.” I corrected him.

“Right. Back when I got into Humpy Bong our pianist was diagnosed with it as well, completely ruined him. So much so that he thought he had no meaning left and he actually overdosed. When mum told me that you had it I—I just wanted to make sure you weren’t gonna…..you know.”

“Tim…..”

“I know that I haven’t been the best brother to you, hell I was a total wanker to you growing up. Pushing you too hard, I feel like this is my fault and I just….”

“Tim stop.” I told him. He looked up at me and I sighed deeply before saying calmly, “I don’t want you to feel guilty or anything. There’s no reason you should even feel guilt. Well I could let you but I’m a mother now and I want to teach my kids that holding grudges never solves anything.” Tim choked out a laugh and I continued, “But what I do ask of you is that you don’t feel sorry for me, okay? I don’t want any sympathy or frowns or even tears about this. Stuff like this just happens, and for women it’s more common why that is I have no idea. Wish it didn’t but it does for whatever goddamn reason.”

“I want to make things right between us. So if you need anything, and I mean anything at all. You know you can always call me, right?” I smiled softly at him.

Seeing the soft look in his eyes, that’s all I’ve ever wanted from Tim. His acceptance and the true love of what an older brother is.

“Thank you Tim. You have no idea how long I’ve waited to here you say those words.”

“I should’ve said them to you from the beginning. I failed you as a brother, but I want to make things right now. Will—will you give me another chance?” I looked at my brother and softly smiled at him.

Suddenly the front door opened again and I heard a familiar voice call out.

“Darling we’re home!” Soon the boys came around the corner of the house and when they saw Tim, both Brian and Roger were shocked to see him after all this time.

“Tim.” Muttered Brian.

“Brian, Rog, long time no see huh? Good to see you all have made a good name for yourselves.” Answered Tim.

“He’s not bothering you, is he (y/n)?” asked Roger succumbing to his protective instincts that he’s had towards me.

“Calm down Rog, everything’s good. I invited him over, felt like he deserved to meet his nephew and niece. A visit that was long overdue, right Tim?” he turned toward me and he went along with it.

“Yeah. But I don’t wish to impose any longer, I’ll see myself out.”

“Nonsense. I’m just about to start dinner, why don’t you stay?” I said to him. Tim looked at me unsure but I gave him an assuring look telling him that there was no way he was getting away that easily.

“If that’s alright with you lads.” It was then Brian spoke up.

“I don’t mind. You did come all this way, plus you do deserve the chance to meet your niece and nephew face to face. Where’s Chloe at love?”

“She’s napping, though it is around the time she should be waking up. Why don’t you go get her Brian?” He nodded then went upstairs to go get Chloe.

“I can take him if you’d like (y/n).” said Deacy.

“Thanks John.” I handed him my son and I went over to the kitchen and that’s when Freddie and Roger came in and they asked if I needed some help.

I asked Fred to help me with some of the cooking while I had Roger set up the table. After that boiled egg incident at Ridge farm, I vowed to never let Roger near a kitchen stove ever again so setting up the table is what he’ll be stuck with. Once the pasta was ready, we all set down to a family dinner and I was told by the guys that they officially had a week break to rest up before they would head to America to finish up the tour.

So throughout the night it was spent just catching up and for the first time, Tim and I began to connect with each other as brother and sister.

Later that night after everyone had left the house and Brian went to bed, I silently slipped out of the bed and headed into the kitchen to make the phone call that I had been denying myself. I held the phone to my ear and waited for it to ring before finally I heard his voice on the other line.

“Dr. Matthews it’s (Y/n) May. I’ve made my decision.”

A few days later with the help of Dr. Matthews, he gave me the prescribed pills that I would need to take twice a day one in the morning and one at night before I go to bed. I kept the pills hidden so well that not even Brian would be able to find them or even suspect anything. The American tour dates were fast approaching so after the boys had their week’s rest it was time to get back in the game, and this time I was tagging along with them once more.

We were currently rehearsing “We are the Champions” and I was at the piano. We were at the second chorus and I was doing good so far, the boys giving it their all and Freddie singing his heart out almost as if this rehearsal room was full of people instead of just us five.

But by the second transition when the chorus needed to repeat, my wrists flared up even with the braces on and I missed a key. Which caused me to slam down the left side keys of the piano before leaning my head against my hands and holding them together trying to get the pain to stop.

“Yep, let’s call it.” I heard Deacy say as everyone stopped playing and agreed.

“Sorry. I played like shit.” I complimented as I shut the lid protecting the keys. “You boys are lovely, sounded good.” I told them as I spun around from the piano bench as I saw the boys packing up their stuff. “God if Elton heard me play like that he’d slap my hands like a Catholic professor.” Which made the boys chuckle.

“No worries darling, we’ve still got three days till we head out for America.” Freddie said as he took a sip of his beer.

“We’re in a good place love, your hands just need a bit more rest. That’s all.” Brian said as he stood before me and took one of my hands and stroked the brace. “How ��bout when we get home, I give your wrists the proper massage, hmm?”

“Sounds divine my love.” I said lovingly to him. He smiled softly and pecked my lips before joining the guys in the back.

“You fancy a drink Rog?” I heard Freddie ask.

“Yeah there’s that’s new pub they just opened that I’ve been wanting to check out.”

“Can I come?” Brian asked.

“(Y/n) can, you cannot.” Deacy answered.

“Yeah exclusive invite only.” Said Roger.

“Sorry darling reservations in advance, (y/n) got hers in before you did.”

“Okay screw all of you. I see how it is.” Finally I decided it was time.

“Before we leave; do you all have a second?” I said as I stood before them and looked at my four boys.

“Of course darling, what’s up?” asked Brian. I took a deep breath before stating bluntly and right then and there.

“I’ve got CTS.” Everyone looked at me confused as Deacy questioned.

“What’s CTS?”

“Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.” It was then the expressions on Freddie’s, Roger’s, Deacy’s and Brian’s turned to shock. “It’s when my wrists suddenly flare up in numbness or pain, that’s why my piano playing has been shitty lately, and the reason for the pain I’ve been experiencing these past couple of years.”

“(Y/n) dear I—I’m so sorry…..”

“Freddie stop. Don’t you dare.” I looked down at my wrists before looking back at the boys and said, “Right now, there’s only 7 people who know about this, okay just 7. You four, my mum, brother and of course Dr. Matthews. Now I don’t want to hear any sympathy, see any frowning or bitching about how I should continue to take breaks. Because all that’ll be is just wasted time, time that I can spend playing alongside my boys.”

Each of them looked at me with faint tears in their eyes or looks of awe.

“This tour means everything to me now, because—I’ve come to the painful decision and it kills me to even say this but I know that if I continue to deny my health, then I’ll never use my hands to even be able to hold my children or any future children I may have.” I now stood by the piano stroking the smooth, cold black top, I took a deep breath and announced, “By the end of the year, I’m resigning myself from the band.”

At that announcement, the boys looked at me in shock.

“But until then, I’m not going to be what the press will refer to me as in the future. The “female shadow”, the “Forgotten Queen of Queen”. No, I decide who I am. And I’m going to go out being what I was born to be. A pianist, who deserves to be amongst the greatest piano players in history. Beethoven and Mozart, those classical bitches haven’t got a thing on me. (Y/n) (m/n) May.”

My boys looked at me with sad smiles, eyes of amazement and gentle nods.

“You’re the true queen of Queen (y/n).” said Roger softly. I smiled and lowered my head and said.

“You’re damn right I am. We’re all queens. But you’re right, I am the true queen out of all of us.” The boys softly laughed and I told them.

“Now you all just give me time to get these bitchy little wrists back into shape, and we’ll make sure that any other tour you four will continue on in the future, won’t compare to the one we’ll give them in just three days.” They all nodded.

I walked towards them and we all got into a group hug and couldn’t help myself.

“And even though you four are crying like little girl scouts, I still love you boys.”

“Alright enough of this!” Proclaimed Freddie. It was then they tried to re-masculate themselves up by talking about how many drinks they were gonna get. I then cried out to them that there was nothing wrong with being sensitive but they elected to ignore what I was saying and tried to be “real men again”.

That night as I was getting into bed, I stared at my left wrist brace and sighed solemnly when I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. A mess of soft curls tickled my neck as I felt kisses going up my neck.

“Have you taken your pills for tonight darling?” Brian asked.

“Yes mum.” I teased him. I turned to face him and he looked down at me solemnly. I looked up at him and said, “I thought I said I didn’t want to see any frowning about this?”

“I know I’m sorry. I just—I just wish I could take this pain away from you. I’m your husband, I’m supposed to protect you from everything.”

“You know I can take care of myself.”

“I know. But still I wish I had seen the signs. I could’ve….”

“Brian, none of this was your fault. You didn’t give this to me, things like this just—happen. And I wish it didn’t happen to me, but I pushed myself too far to achieve the dream and now I’m paying the price for it. The only one who should be blamed is me.” He stroked my cheek with his thumb and I leaned into his palm.

“You don’t have to be strong right now.” He whispered. I looked up at him and just one look into those blue eyes broke me. Tears ran down my face and Brian pulled me close to him and for the first time since my CTS diagnoses, I finally released all the anger, pain, heartbreak and sorrow I had built inside of myself.

I maybe acting crazy right now, and you all maybe thinking why go back and forth between acting so strong and talking so big, to breaking down like a child in my husband’s arms.

Well I’m finally in the prime of my life of a successful career, I’ve finally reached my dream of becoming a kickass pianist for the hottest band in the world. But now it all came crashing down with this diagnosis and because of my arrogance and ignorance, I’ve costed myself this dream.

And to a pianist not being able to play the instrument they were born to play, that’s a fate worse than death.

Brian spoke not a word because at this point no words could heal the anguish that I was feeling inside at this very moment. All he did was hold me as tight as he could, allowing me to release my pain in any way that I wanted to. Eventually I had managed to vent myself out to the point of exhaustion.

Brian adjusted himself on the bed but not once broke his embrace on me. He stroked my hair and I felt a kiss at the crown of my head and the last thing I heard him say before I fell asleep.

“You’re a fighter my love, my proud fighter.”

The tour in America continued as planned. When it came time for the concerts, Fred actually sat beside me and the two of us would play a song together and if a pain flare grew too much for my braces, then I would stop and allow Freddie to continue, and when I felt lime it I’d come back and he’d back off and go back to doing his thing on stage.

In a way it worked out wonderfully, almost like it was a complete rehearsed tid-bit of us playing together then allowing one or the other to play solo before coming back as a duet.

All too soon, the year was coming to an end and not only that but it was also the end of another decade. The 70’s after tonight would forever be behind us leading us into the 1980’s and god knows what was going to happen then.

I was currently sitting down with Miami as well as mine and Brian’s personal lawyer. I had officially agreed to give a public statement of my condition to the public just so that way everyone knows about my CTS and the press don’t make up some bullshit story of me causing drama for the band just because I’ve decided to call it quits.

“Okay so Mrs. May you have officially agreed to point out that ‘I (Y/n) May have chosen to resign myself from the band Queen due to medical reasons. I wish to bring up the fact that I have been diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and that is my sole reason for leaving the band’ is that correct?”

“Yes Graham, that is correct.”

“You also wish to ‘ensure that this has nothing to do with creative differenced. This is solely for my health and for the benefit of the band.’”

“Yes.” I answered bluntly as I rubbed my right wrist. He wrote down a few more things and he said as he closed up his file.

“Okay, that’s that. This will be released to the press first thing in the morning.” I didn’t speak another word to him as he left leaving me and Miami alone.

“You sure about this love?” he asked me.

“If I keep pushing myself at this rate, I’ll risk an even greater risk of my CTS flares. It’s for the best, and I don’t want to bring Queen down because of it.”

“Okay, we’ll miss you.”

“And I’ll miss you all, promise me you’ll take care of them for me Jim. You know how they can be.”

“You have my word, it’s been an honor seeing you perform (y/n).” He held out his hand and we both shook on it and said.

“Thank you for being probably one of the nicest lawyers we’ve ever had.” It was then I kissed his cheek and hugged him and he instantly hugged me back. He patted my back and I held him tighter.

And just like Graham said, at the start of the New Year, the news was eating up my departure from Queen like wolves on a carcass. Every single news channel was talking about it, the tabloids blew up pictures of me along with the boys as a ripped up image representing me splitting from the band to make it seem more dramatic than it was.

The paparazzi were circling outside just waiting for me to come out just so they could hound me with questions. I couldn’t even take my children out to the backyard to play outside or swing on the swings with them without risking them being exposed to the wolves outside.

I heard the door open and quickly shut and heard Brian’s voice say.

“Bloody hell they just don’t know boundaries whatsoever.”

“They never have darling, trust me remember that one bastard who actually managed to cup my arse that one time in Preston?”

“Boy do I. Roger and I nearly killed him right then and there for doing that to you.” He closed the blinds and sighed exasperatedly as he sat down beside me on the couch.

“Do you think I did the right thing?” I asked. Brian looked at me and I continued, “Releasing my leaving to the public? Did I do the right thing?”

“You did what you felt was right darling, it’s better they know it’s for a medical reason rather than whatever bullshit drama they can think of.”

“But I feel like I’m just causing more drama for you and the boys. I never wanted that to happen, I mean some of the tabloids are saying that I left because of my ‘womanly drama’ what the fuck is wrong with them?!”

“I wish I knew but (y/n) look at me,” I turned to him and I felt him grip my hands tightly yet lovingly in both of his and felt his thumbs stroke the back of my hands and along my wrists as he said, “Just know that the lads and I know the real truth. That we first heard it from you first about all this instead of reading about it in the tabloids. And fuck what some of them are writing, fuck them. Because they don’t know what you’re going through right now. But I do, so does Deacy, Roger, Freddie, your family. And that’s enough.”

“How did I ever deserve you Brian Harold May?” I asked. He smiled and pressed his forehead against mine as he said.

“Actually it’s the other way around my love.” I smiled as he brought his nose against mine and we Eskimo kissed before doing our little penguin nuzzle. He then kissed my forehead and for the rest of the morning we just cuddled on the couch.

Later that day it was almost sunset and I was just setting Jimmy down for bed when I decided to just sit around and wait for Brian to return back from the studio. I tried to find something to watch but all I could see was my face up on almost every bloody channel.

So I gave up on TV and just settled for a movie instead, I popped in Star Wars when I heard the door open and I heard Roger’s as well as Freddie’s voice.

“My lovely darling!” Freddie’s voice cried out. I shushed him and said.

“Fred I just put Jimmy and Chloe to bed.”

“Oh sorry dear, hope I didn’t wake the mini penguins.” He apologized. I rolled my eyes and that’s when I noticed the presents, in Freddie and Roger’s hands, a cake in Deacy’s and a bottle of champagne in Brian’s.

“What’s all this?”

“Well we’ve talked it over at the studio today and we felt like we needed to properly give our true queen of Queen a farewell party. Just to make sure she is never forgotten by the band, nor will she ever be forgotten.” Said Roger.

“So we cut rehearsal time today and we went out and got you these,” Freddie said as he gestured to all the things they bought.

“We tried baking a cake but we should’ve known that you are the true baker of the band, so we had to resort to a store bought cake.” Said Deacy.

“Awww you guys…..I can’t believe you would do this for me.”

“Better believe it darling. Though we still expect to see you at some rehearsals, still go to our concerts to support us and weekly updates on your recovery.” Fred said as he came up and wrapped an arm around my shoulders bringing me close to him.

“When I can find time in my busy schedule, you’ve got yourself a deal Mr. Mercury.” He gave me a one armed hug and kissed my temple and soon the celebration began.

The whole night was spent drinking, chatting and I was given special gifts from the guys. Freddie had bought me a new jacket he had seen at the store and thought one person had to have it, Roger gave me the new David Bowie vinyl that I have had my eye on but never had the time to buy it, Deacy got me the new Elton John vinyl and he even got to have it signed by Elton himself. It read.

My lovely (y/n),

Even though your CTS has stopped you in your tracks, never lose that passion for music. You are a firecracker and a worthy apprentice. Thank you for all that you’ve taught me and may our paths cross again soon.

Love and kisses,

Elton.

I got a little tear eyed and made a note to myself to give Elton a call later and tell him thank you for the lovely message. And Brian my ever so lovely spoiling husband gifted me with a brand new necklace with matching set earrings. He also promised me another gift but that was for after the boys left to which the guys all gagged and mocked Brian.

I wiped away a tear falling down my face and that’s when Deacy noticed and said.

“What’s wrong (n/n)?” The guys turned their attention to me and I sniffled and said.

“Nothing. It’s just….I love you guys so much, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” They all awed at me and brought me in the middle of a group hug and that’s when Brian said.

“Better get used to it love, because even though you’re leaving the band, you’ll always be stuck with us.”

“I can live with that.” I chuckled as the guys hugged me tighter.

My name is (Y/n) May, from 1968-1979 I was a rock star. In 1970 I became the pianist and keyboardist for a group that changed from Smile to Queen all thanks to Freddie Mercury. Through Queen I wrote many great hit songs;

Keep yourself alive (co-written with Brian May)

March of the Black Queen

Killer Queen (music by me, lyrics by Freddie)

We will rock you

Somebody to Love

It was also through Queen that I met the love of my life and the father of my children. It was through Queen I got to confess my love to Brian and thanks to that, I will teach my legacy to my children.

For I maybe gone from the band, but I know I will never be forgotten. The true queen of Queen.

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rhapsody x reader #brian may #brian may x reader #gwilym lee #gwilym lee!brian may x reader #gwilym lee!brian may #gwilym lee imagine #gwilym lee!brian may imagine #queen fanfiction #queen imagine #queen #queen imagines #brian may x reader fluff

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peraltasames · 5 years

Text

if a great wave shall fall

Pairing: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago

Desc: “Amy, sorry to wake you,” Terry says quickly. “There’s an active shooter at the grocery store on St Mark’s...Jake responded to it.”

Notes: title from wherever you will go - the calling (but the charlene soraia version is better). you might cry.

Read on AO3

Jake and Amy’s apartment

12:02 A.M.

Amy jolts awake to the found of her phone ringing. Not her morning alarms, not her eight month old baby, but the distinct sound of the ringtone reserved for one person only - her boss, Captain Terry Jeffords.

She reaches across the bed, the other side still empty, to grab her phone. “Hi, Captain, how can I...” She pauses as she glances over at her alarm clock. She’s not on call to come into work. There is no logical, work-related reason for her captain to be calling at this hour. “Wait, Terry, why are you calling me after midnight?”

“Amy, sorry to wake you,” Terry says quickly. “There’s an active shooter at the grocery store on St Mark’s...Jake responded to it."

After she hears her husband’s name, her world goes completely still for a few seconds. It’s long enough that she doesn’t fully absorb the rest of Terry’s words.

“He...he what?”

“He’s not by himself in there,” she hears him repeat, a bit slower and more gently. “He’s got a good team, all highly trained in situations like this. But we don’t have any updates just yet.”

As Amy’s brain goes into panic mode, she closes her eyes tightly, trying to visualize how to deal with this particular issue. It’s an emergency. Who do I call in an emergency? Jake. Who do I call if Jake is the emergency?

“I’m coming to the precinct,” Amy says, quiet but firm. “I just need to call my brother to come watch Abby.”

“Of course, Amy. I’ll call if I hear anything before you get here.”

She thanks him and ends the call, instantly going into her emergency contacts and selecting the second name on the list.

“Amy, what the-it’s three in the morning-“

Her brother, Nic, was the obvious choice when planning for an emergency such as this one. The rest of the squad were out of the question, as they could easily be involved in whatever reason Jake is unavailable. Karen lives twenty minutes away and her parents are in New Jersey, but Nic is only a five minute drive from them, making him the perfect candidate to watch Abigail. Of course, she hoped she would never have to actually call him - so much so that she never exactly told him he was their emergency go-to.

“Jake responded to an active shooting.” Her voice is still steady. She’s trained to deal with crises. “I need to go to the precinct. Can you please-“

“Oh god, Amy, I-I’ll be right there.”

The line goes dead, and Amy only allows herself a moment to try to remember how to breathe before she jumps into action.

She goes through the motions of packing an emergency bag, rummaging through the things in their bedroom: anxiety medication, phone chargers, badge and gun...

As she grabs the badge from her bedside table, her eye catches the framed photo right beside it, a moment captured by Gina’s phone of their first kiss as husband and wife. It wasn’t the professional photograph she had planned, but it’s her favourite picture ever taken of her and Jake.

Jake. Her husband. The father of her child.

It suddenly clicks that he’s actually in real, mortal danger. This isn’t just a worst case scenario, it’s the worst case scenario. The absolute worst thing that could possibly happen is one bullet away from becoming reality.

She slowly sinks down until she’s on the floor, her back against the side of their bed as the tears begin to flow. She doesn’t have time to break down, she knows that. She’s a wife, mother and sergeant - not one of those roles does she take lightly, not one leaves room for her to be weak. She’s supposed to be strong.

The opening of her bedroom door brings her back to reality, her head jolting up from where it was positioned in her hands to see her brother. His brows are furrowed with deep concern and his sweatpants and messy hair indicate that he got here as fast as is humanly possible.

“That was really fast,” she remarks, her voice trembling more than she thought it would as hot tears continue to stream down her face.

“I might have broken a few traffic laws. You can get me out of a ticket, right?” Nic smirks slightly at her horrified look. The Santiagos do not break traffic laws. “Kidding.”

Her older brother plops down on the floor next to her, putting a hand on her knee as she moves to get up.

“I need to go-“

“You need to breathe for a second before you operate a vehicle, Amy.”

She shakes her head, aggressively wiping away her tears. “I need to be there. I need to figure out what’s happening and - and I need to be a good wife and sergeant and mother and - and I need to buy more mushy peas in the morning because it’s all Abby will eat this week and now I have to go-“

“Amy, breathe.” Nic shifts over so he’s facing her, forcing her to look him in the eye. “You are strong. That’s never in question, okay? The fact that you’re breaking down right now does not make you weak, it makes you a normal person who’s going through something totally terrifying.”

She nods, letting a small sob escape her and leaning back against her soft comforter.

“I didn’t kiss him,” she says suddenly. “I…I always do, but I had just gotten Abby down for a nap and I was in the shower when he left.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nic says comfortingly. “You’ll get to kiss him.”

“He only took a night shift because he’s been trying to get more overtime ever since we found out I was pregnant. I told him he doesn’t have to, but he wanted to start a college fund for Abby.” Amy runs a hand through her hair, shaking her head. “He spent all his money on massage chairs and take out when I met him, and now he’s…he’s such a good dad. I can’t do this without him, I can’t come home to her alone.”

“You won’t. Jake’s tough and he’s a good cop. He’s gonna be fine.”

For the first time in a life of relentless teasing and arguments, she really hopes her brother is right.

99th Precinct

12:28 A.M.

Nobody says a word when Amy comes running off the elevator wearing leggings and an NYPD sweater smelling faintly of cologne that is noticeably to big to be hers. Terry, Rosa, Charles and Gina are gathered in a loose circle of chairs outside Gina’s former desk in front of Captain Holt’s former office that is now Terry’s. She has no idea how everyone got here so quickly, but the many cups of coffee and the bags under her friends’ eyes indicate that they all rushed to the precinct as quickly as she did without the added step of having to find someone to watch their children. There’s just about nothing that this group of people wouldn’t do for Jake Peralta, she realizes.

Amidst the silence, everyone rises from their seats and within seconds she’s being pulled into a hug by Charles.

“He’ll be okay, Amy. It’s Jake, he has to be.”

Her husband’s best friend’s words resonate with her - Jake is always okay. He’s survived death threats and prison and countless dangerous operations just like this one. He hasn’t been taken from them yet, she hopes with all of her heart that he won’t be taken from them tonight. She hugs him back briefly and then pulls away to face her captain.

“Have you heard anything?”

Terry gives a solemn shake of his head. “Sorry, Amy, I still don’t know much. Holt said he’ll do everything he can to get an update, but there’s only so much even the commissioner can do in situations like this.”

She sits in the chair next to Gina, the extra seat obviously meant for her, trying not to glance just to her left at the pair of desks where she spent years stealing glances at the guy that she had a minor crush on (okay, it was pretty major by the time she admitted it to herself and full-blown obsession by the time she told him).

She keeps her phone in her hand and the volume on high in case Jake texts that it’s over or Holt provides an update to her directly. Her heart begins to ache a little more than it has been this whole time as the elevator doors open again and the commissioner of the NYPD himself steps out. Despite the considerable relationship he has with his old detective squad, he certainly isn’t obligated to give them an update in person. Unless it’s a bad one. She isn’t going to wait to find out.

“Have you heard from Jake?” she explains in a tone that lacks politeness and professionalism, but Holt does not seem to mind. His face softens when he sees Amy in her current state.

“As of right now there are two civilians wounded, no deaths and no officers injured.” Relief washes through her instantly and she nearly falls back into Gina, who keeps her upright with a hand on her shoulder. “Unfortunately the shooter has not been taken into custody yet, so Jake and the others are still there. It is unclear at this time when they will be out.”

The thought of waiting any longer without the certainty that he’s safe makes her feel nauseous, but Captain Holt - Commissioner Holt, but he’ll always be her captain - sits next to her and says “Peralta will be alright. I believe that his tendencies to make rash decisions without proper judgement have declined significantly through your relationship.” It eases her mind for a moment.

99th Precinct

1:22 A.M.

The precinct is colder at night. It always has been, and Amy’s always noticed it. She worked late often enough to realize the change in temperature, but it wasn’t until they were assigned to the night shift by the ridiculous Captain Stentley that she came to truly loathe how cold it got.

The moment she steps into the break room tonight and a chill goes up her spine, she feels a big wave of déjà vu hit, almost as if it’s a vision from her past.

“Hey, whatcha doing in here?”

She looks up from her spot on the couch, her face buried in a case file. Despite her fatigue and the general disheartening effect of the night shift, she’s still working as hard as she always does. It eases her heart and mind a little to see her boyfriend limping through the doorway with his cane, grinning at her. It’s his first week back at work in months, and she missed seeing him across the desk from her more than she realized.

“It’s a couple degrees warmer in here than the bullpen,” she answers, shifting over on the couch so he can join her.

“Yeah, it is actually a lot colder in here at night than I remembered it,” Jake agrees, plopping down next to her with a thud. “Wait, why aren’t you wearing a jacket?”

“None of my blazers really match this blouse, so-“

Jake’s already shrugging off his leather jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders and then pulling her into his side.

“Jake, we’re at work...” she trails off, looking up through the break room window. The majority of their colleagues are nearly asleep at their desks or currently absent. She knows for a fact that Captain Holt just took his break, so he won’t be walking in any time soon.

She doesn’t think anyone would really say anything, anyways. She’s sure they all noticed how little she smiled or laughed or showed enthusiasm of any kind over the six months he was in Florida, how she would decline invitations to hang out after work or quietly excuse herself when someone mentioned him.

“You’re so warm,” she says fondly, her face squished against his chest. She allows her eyes to flutter closed, immersed in his embrace. God, she missed him so much.

“And you’re freezing,” he says with a kiss to the top of her head.

Feeling completely relaxed for the first time that night, she begins to fantasize about the comfort of her own home - or his, she doesn’t really care at this point - awaiting her when their shift is done in just two short hours. “We should definitely take a long, hot shower as soon as we get home.”

His eyes widen. “Ames, that is hardly appropriate conversation for the workplace.”

“Oh, yes, there’s nothing sexier than helping my boyfriend bathe because he has a bullet wound in his leg-“

“And who inflicted that wound upon me?”

“I saved your life!”

They’re both laughing at this point, and she can feel his chest rising and falling in sync with his laughter, the sound bouncing off the walls.

Now, the room is painfully quiet as Rosa leads her to a chair, urging her to sit down and placing a mug in front of her. She appreciates the gesture, but her nerves certainly cannot be tamed by a cup of herbal tea.

“Thanks, Rosa, but-“

“It’s coffee,” Rosa interrupts her. “I know Terry said to give you chamomile tea to relax you or whatever, but we both know it’s gonna be a long night.”

Amy nods gratefully, taking a long sip of the hot, bitter drink.

“Remember the Brooklyn Heights shooting a few years ago?” Rosa’s voice cuts through the silence.

She’s taken aback by the question, nodding slowly. Of course she remembers it - the hours Rosa’s life was up in the air were some of the scariest of her life (until today, that is).

“Did Jake ever tell you he almost came to help me even though he was ordered not to?”

Amy’s heart clenches in her chest, trying to recall the events of that day after Rosa found her drenched in toilet water. She remembers going home, taking a shower, going over some wedding plans with Kylie over the phone, falling asleep early with Jake beside her. They barely talked about the shooting at all, let alone the fact that he almost went.

“No,” Amy says quietly. “No, he never told me.”

She can’t say she’s surprised, but it still hurts her to think that she could’ve lost him weeks before their wedding. She could’ve never been married to him.

“We went to Shaw’s that night and he told me what happened,” Rosa continues. “I think I was the only one that ever found out other than Holt. But you know what he said when I asked why he came to his senses?” Amy shakes her head, still looking at Rosa with watery eyes. “You, Amy. He said he couldn’t handle the thought of leaving you alone.”

She promised herself she wouldn’t cry again, at least until she gets to hold him and inevitably breaks down in his arms (she has to keep telling herself that that moment will come) but Rosa’s revelation completely unravels her.

Rosa’s hand on her own brings her some comfort, the act of affection both rare and extremely appreciated.

“He wants to come home to you. And Jake’s stubborn as hell when he wants to be.”

Amy smiles fondly, nodding in agreement. It’s one of the things she loves and occasionally disdains.

“Yeah, he really is.”

24-Hour Grocery Store

3:14 A.M.

As soon as they get the call that the shooter’s been taken into custody, the Nine-Nine rushes to the scene of the shooting. Amy rides in the passenger seat of Terry’s car, her eyes shut tightly so more tears don’t escape as the words she heard through the speaker phone in the captain’s office replay in her brain.

Several officers down. Names and severity of injuries still unclear.

There were less than ten officers present, as far as she knows, which means there’s a significant statistical possibility that Jake is one of the several.

There are ambulances and squad cars surrounding the store, the flashing lights making Amy feel more disoriented as she jumps out of the car the moment they’ve parked.

Immediately, she spots a familiar face, Detective Ross Thompson from their neighbouring precinct, exiting the building. He’s uninjured, as far as she can tell, which first relieves her and then makes the calculation in her brain of the likelihood that Jake is one of the injured shift further out of her favour.

“Thompson!”

The way that the man’s face pales with fear when he sees her in a way that it shouldn’t at the sight of a superior officer with whom he has a pretty good professional relationship, but might at the sight of a dead man’s wife.

“Sergeant,” he says quietly. “Peralta-he, uh-“

A quick glance over his shoulder renders the rest of Thompson’s sentence obsolete. Nothing has ever shaken Amy Santiago quite as much as the sight of her husband on a stretcher, blood covering so much of him that it’s impossible to tell where he’s been shot.

Jake. She isn’t sure if she actually shouts his name or if it’s just echoing in her head the way that it has for the better part of ten years, but she manages to push past the crowd of cops and paramedics until she’s as close to him as possible.

“Jake,” she breathes, her hand clutching his where it rests limply at his side. He’s still wearing his kevlar vest, which has a mark from a bullet that surely would’ve penetrated his heart without it - she’s never been more grateful for an article of clothing. She’s close enough now to see the wound in his shoulder, where the paramedics seem to have finally stopped the blood - which is everywhere - from flowing. His name comes out like a whimper as she lets out the tears she was holding back.

“Ames?” His voice is so weak and small compared to the volume she’s used to. She squeezes his hand a little tighter as he looks up at her with wide eyes. She’s pretty sure that the look of fear on his face mirrors hers.

“Excuse me, miss, I’m going to have to ask you to step back so we can move him to the ambulance.”

Amy steps away reluctantly, only enough that the man and woman in paramedic uniforms can move the stretcher into the back of the vehicle. Jake’s groan of pain as she steps away makes her sob harder.

“Is he going to be okay?” she chokes out, following them to the ambulance parked just a few feet away.

“He’s lost a lot of blood, but we’re going to do everything we can to make sure he pulls through,” the male paramedic, a twenty-something with dark hair and bright blue eyes, informs her. “Are you his wife?” Amy nods. “You can ride in the ambulance with him.”

She climbs up into the back of the ambulance behind the paramedics, sitting as close to Jake as she can while the paramedics work around them, cleaning some of the blood off his chest.

“Why’re you crying, babe?” Jake’s eyes are barely open, his only real awareness seeming to be the fact that she’s there and she’s sobbing violently while she clutches his hand so tightly that both of their fingers are white.

She kisses the back of his hand a few times, comforted by the fact that his skin is still as warm as it always is. “I can’t lose you.”

“Not gonna…” he struggles to get the words out, his breathing laboured. “Not gonna leave you. Promise.”

He moves their joined hands almost like a handshake, a symbolic agreement that he will never leave her. She feels his grip on her loosen as he drifts off, and she holds on to both his hand and the vow that he’s just made to her. He’s not leaving her, definitely not tonight.

“I love you so much,” she whispers for no one to hear.

Brooklyn Methodist Hospital

7:21 A.M.

Mom

Just woke up to voicemail from Nic. Our prayers are with Jake. Call if you need anything, mija, we love you both very much. Xo Mom and Dad

Nic Santiago

Abby’s up and just had breakfast. All good here. Has Jake woken up yet?

Charles Boyle

Just got home. Don’t forget to text me when Jake wakes up and every hour after that with an update :)

Raymond Holt

Dear Sergeant Santiago,

Captain Jeffords has updated me on Jake’s condition. I will visit later today after you have both had adequate time to rest.

Sincerely,

Raymond Holt

Kylie

Your brother texted me. Is Jake okay?? Do you need anything?

Gina Linetti

you were passed out during my turn to visit, plz tell jake he’s not getting out of the $10 he owes me for buying pizza in ninth grade that easily. and ily both i guess

Karen Peralta

Just got your texts. I’ll be at the hospital as soon as I can - just have to find someone to cover me at work today. Give Jake a big hug from me. Sending you all my love.

Rosa Diaz

Say hey to Jake for me when he wakes up. Don’t tell him any of the lame stuff I said (yes, that is a threat)

Terry Jeffords

Thinking of you guys. Just got home to Sharon and the girls. Take all the time off you need while Jake recovers.

Amy wakes to an onslaught of text messages from her friends and family, her eyes adjusting to the harsh hospital lighting and the brightness of her phone screen. She realizes she’s only been asleep for about an hour, but it’s more than she thought she would be able to get in the uncomfortable chair next to Jake’s bed.

She glances over at her sleeping husband. If it weren’t for the sling keeping his fractured scapula immobile, he would be indistinguishable from the man she wakes up next to every single day.

Against her better judgement, knowing that she needs to let him sleep, she runs her hand through his hair. She feels a little guilty when his eyes flicker open, but it vanishes when he smiles at her. Her heart feels like it’s going to explode. She loves him so much.

“Hey, Ames” he says. His voice is hoarser than normal and still her favourite sound in the world.

“Hi, baby,” she says in a soothing voice, moving to sit on the bed in the space next to him. While one hand continues to stroke his soft curls, the other grabs his where it rests on his stomach. “How are you feeling?”

“I…can’t feel much,” he says, confirming for her that the drugs she approved that they give him are working. “Babe, where’s Abby?”

“She’s at home with Nic. He came over to watch her last night when I got the call.” Her voice breaks a little at the end of the sentence. She thinks it goes unnoticed until she feels his hand squeeze hers tighter.

“Nic’s watching her?”

Amy chuckles slightly. Apparently, Jake does not try as hard to hide the fact that Nic’s not exactly his favourite of her brothers when he’s on morphine.

“He’s a doctor, Jake. He’s capable of watching our daughter.”

“He’s also capable of judging my every move and acting like he knows everything.”

“To be fair, he probably does know a bit more about the effects that pizza bagels have on your health-“

“Well, I know more…laws,” Jake says with a huff, frowning. He looks like a five-year old that just got told it’s time for bed, and he’s completely adorable and she loves him so much.

“I bet you do,” she says warmly.

“I’m sorry I scared you. I tried to be careful for you guys.”

After Jake was rushed into surgery and she was reunited with the squad in the waiting room, Thompson filled her in on what happened. Jake had taken two bullets intended for a twelve year old boy, only one of them actually penetrating his flesh. It was the kind of decision that they’re often faced with in this job but never really prepared to make. As much as she hates the choice he made, she knows it was the right one and the same one she would’ve made.

“It’s okay, Jake,” she murmurs. They’ll talk about it more later, when the shock and the drugs and the initial terror have worn off. She leans down to kiss his lips gently. He kisses her back, his hand moving from hers to weakly cup her face. She pulls away and rests her forehead against his, her eyes still shut. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he says with a quick kiss to her cheek. “’M sleepy.”

She pulls away as he closes his eyes, seconds away from drifting back into a deep sleep.

“Yeah, you should get some rest.”

“Need you,” he murmurs softly, but its still laced with urgency.

“I’m right here, honey,” she assures him. “I’m not leaving.”

He shakes his head, unsatisfied. “Need you here.” Jake shifts over in the bed to offer her more space, extending his uninjured arm so she can curl up with him.

“I shouldn’t…” she starts to say, but quickly decides that cuddling with her husband right now is a million times more important than some hospital rule.

She, very cautiously, climbs into the bed with him and melts into his side, her arm hugging his stomach. Her head tucks under his chin.

“I love you,” she says once again. “Forever.”

“I know, that’s why we got married.”

“Jake, please just let me be emotional for two seconds. My husband just got shot, it’s been a bit of a rough night for me.”

“Really? He sounds like a badass.”

Amy rolls her eyes, smiling against his chest at the sheer fact that she still gets to do that. “You’re such an idiot.”

He holds her closer, his cheek resting comfortably on the top of her head.

“I love you too, Ames.”

#otp: you're not allowed to fall in love with me #b99 fic #b99 #all of the angst #also i apologize sincerely for any grammatical errors it is very late #but i wanted to post before bed #myfics

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