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xxsabitoxx · 3 months

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Geto Suguru NSFW A-Z

Part of my 20k follower celebration (past due)

Warnings: if it’s not abundantly clear, this is smut :)

A/N: in honor of hitting 20k followers a while back, I’m going to be posting 10 NSFW alphabets for JJK men — scheduled post 6

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Suguru is so soft and reassuring after sex. He won’t make you lift a finger, going out of his way to clean you up and get you water. If you ask for a snack or a meal, he’ll return with it. If you ask for a hot bath or shower? He’s setting it up for you. Suguru will go above and beyond to make sure you are happy and satisfied because you go out of your way to do the same for him. He’s very much an act of service love language kinda guy.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Suguru loves your hips. He loves to hold them, he loves to bite them and kiss them, he loves to feel you squirming while he keeps you in place. His hands are naturally drawn to them.

On himself, Suguru takes pride in his broad shoulders. He loves the feeling of your hands touching them, nails running down them, the way you cling to them as he fucks you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Suguru really enjoys coming on your face. He loves pulling out of your mouth right before he cums just to jerk off the rest of the way and cover your face and tongue. He’s also very partial to creampies but at this point who isn’t —

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Suguru really wants to use toys on you in public and even likes the idea of you using them on him. The remote control kind that vibrates, he likes the idea of you being at his mercy but secretly likes the idea of him being at yours. He also really likes the idea of predator/prey play, the idea of chasing you around to get what he wants (so long as you’re consenting). He’s brought it up a little bit, you’ve even had a few instances where it’s “happened” but it’s more so you giggling as he chases you around the house and catches you because you teased him. He wants to play a game of sorts, where you’re being hunted by him, but he’s too embarrassed to really delve into this little kink seriously. So he can settle with the playful chasing for now.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Suguru has a lot of experience. He’s been with a handful of partners and has had multiple hookups. More so after becoming a cult leader. He certainly had people flocking to him with interest but he didn’t act upon their advances until after his deflection. Suguru is not shy about watching porn and even camgirls/camboys. He’s browsed through hentai mangas and even read a couple of raunchy novels. He knows what he’s doing to say the very least.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Suguru loves doggy, he loves watching your ass jiggle with the force of his thrusts. He also enjoys seeing you struggle to keep yourself up, arms and legs feeling weak as he fucks you. Suguru also enjoys having your back pressed flush to his front, angled so his hips can thrust into you while he uses his arm to keep you up. Either around your chest or around your neck… heh

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Suguru leans more on the serious / sensual side of things. It’s rare for him to make comments that are snarky or cause you to laugh while fucking. But if there is a chance you two bump heads or something “funny” occurs, he’ll definitely laugh and tease you about it later even if it wasn’t your fault.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Considering the lengths he goes to take care of his luscious long hair, Suguru takes his pubic grooming quite seriously (lmao). Honestly I think he keeps his hair fairly long but not long enough for it to be a turn off. It’s black like the rest of his hair and tbh I totally see him using conditioner on it (giggling at the thought bye)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Super romantic even when he’s pissed off. Suguru will change his attitude left and right, fucking you stupid and going on and on about your attitude just to shower you in praise and reassure you the moment he sees tears or hesitancy in your eyes. He’ll try his damn hardest to never take things too far, always making sure you know you are loved by him and he isn’t just using you for sex. You mean the world to him and he wants to make sure you know that.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Suguru isn’t huge on masturbation after he gets with you. Before meeting you though? He got himself off once a day at least. If he wasn’t hooking up with someone, he was getting himself off using his own fist. It got to the point where he was doing it so frequently that he invested in a pocket pussy. He’s embarrassed about it even though he knows he shouldn't be. He kept it even after meeting you and will let you use it on him just to tease him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Love it or hate it, I think Suguru has a big ole daddy kink. Accompanying that daddy kink, I think this man has an unrelenting breeding kink. He loves when you’re a brat, giving him the opportunity to put you in your place. He also has a thing for predator/prey play, he likes when you try and get away from him… knowing full and well that you are trapped regardless (consensually of course)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Suguru enjoys the challenge the shower brings him, an opportunity to show of his strength by holding you up against the wall and fucking you stupid. Suguru also enjoys fucking you in the backseat of his car… even when his personal driver is driving it f

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Sexy pajamas… like the silky matching sets. That paired with the amount of skin being shown off? Drives him absolutely wild. Suguru also enjoys when you call him “Sir” in front of his followers, bending down a little too far in your “work” attire so his mind runs wild.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Suguru is strongly against age play. He likes when you call him daddy, he knows you like it when he calls you baby/baby girl/baby boy. But Suguru does not fuck with the age play idea, if you start acting like a child while he fucks you he’s gonna get very weirded out. He enjoys the pet name aspects of the kink but that’s truly it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving. Suguru is so utterly obsessed with pussy eating/dick sucking. He will beg you on his hands and knees, praying for you to say yes and let him go down on you. He dreams of it and would be content being suffocated by your sex.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Suguru will adjust his pace to your liking but he will always fall into the rougher, faster pace side of things. He can’t help it when he gets so lost in pleasure, his hips move on their own accord and that typically means fucking you until your entire body is moving with the effort. He also finds a lot of amusement in your moans stuttering due to the force of his hips.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Suguru loves a good quickie. Especially when he’s in between healing clients. Bending you over his desk and fucking you absolutely stupid clears his head before dealing with more of his insufferable clientele. (Heh sorry?)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Suguru is a massive risk taker. He doesn’t care if there is a chance of getting caught, he doesn’t care if people can see. Suguru is willing to try most things at least twice, if he didn’t enjoy it the first time he’s willing to give it a second go just to make sure.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

How long Suguru can last depends on how long it’s been since he last fucked you. Typically he can last up to 8-10 minutes if you’ve been consistent fucking. But if it’s been a week or two apart? He can last 4 minutes tops. But his stamina doesn’t run out after, he can go 3-5 rounds if not more.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Suguru isn’t shy about toy use, they aren’t usually his go to items but he’s not one to shy away from him. He’s a bit meh on dildos because why have them when you have his cock… but everything else he’s down to use/try.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Suguru has a mean streak in him, if you piss him off he’s gonna be very unfair towards you during his punishment. He’ll go to both extremes: edge you till you’re crying and then make you cum until you’re begging him to stop. He’ll mock you, telling you to make up your mind. His aftercare is always immaculate though, and he makes sure to have safe words with you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

At first Suguru tried so hard to keep his nosies to a minimum. He was unbelievably shy about making anything more than a groan or cursing. It wasn’t until meeting you and getting truly comfortable that he let himself go just a bit. He moans, whines, curses, even gets teary eyed if he’s feeling that good. He doesn’t try and restrain them either, letting them come out however loud they are with no care.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Suguru likes to record the two of you fucking when he knows he has to go away on a business trip and you can’t come with him. He likes filming both POV videos and 3rd person videos so he can watch them back and reminisce on your last time together. He’ll get off watching them when he knows he can’t call you because you’re already sleeping.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Suguru is an even 5 inches when soft and just over 6 ½ when hard. While he may not be as long as Satoru, he’s certainly girthier. He’s got a pretty tan color going up his shaft, his tip is a rosy pinkish red and he curves upwards. His dick can be mildly intimidating to some, so he takes care to prep you thoroughly before even thinking of going in. Suguru is also not shy about using lubes and oils, the wetter the better ;)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

As shocking as it seems, Suguru has a higher sex drive than Satoru. He arguably has the highest sex drive among jjk men in my opinion. He’s a closeted freak. He can control himself though, especially if you aren’t in the mood.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Suguru can get pretty tired after sex but he won’t allow himself to get comfortable and sleep until he assures you’re taken care of. While he can get exhausted from the activities, he knows he worked you out way more. So his priority will always be you. Once you’re content and sleeping, it only takes Suguru like 5 minutes tops to knock out for the night.

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showingpitytowardsyourownkind · 7 months

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because apparently making these is how I decompress now

Image ID 1: A Tumblr post by calellon that says “yes baby your emotional walls are high and impenetrable can we kiss now” on top of John standing somewhat dejectedly behind Sherlock looking aloof yet glamorous in his deerstalker with his coat collar turned up.

Image ID 2: A tweet by makeupaguy that says “guy who calls his husband ‘valued ally’ or ‘strategic partner’” on top of Sherlock and John talking to a suspect.

Image ID 3: An OGN headline that says “Video-Game Characters Denounce Randomly Placed Swinging Blades” on top of Sherlock mid-insanity puzzle about to face a randomly placed swinging blade.

Image ID 4: A Tumblr post by gr1moires that says “why are the horrors calling you ‘babygirl’? [suspicious raised eyebrow emoji]” on top of John who stares intently as he helps a discombobulated Sherlock to his feet.

Image ID 5: A Tumblr post by thechevypickup that says “diversity win! the surgeon who removed your [brain] without your consent is bisexual” on top of Dr. Gygax standing and looking vaguely menacing.

Image ID 6: A Tumblr post by lakevida that says “i always convince myself I dont sound that weird and then i go out in the world and get involved in anything longer than transactional small talk and its like ohhh thats right ive only been hanging out with gay people who speak in riddles” near John and a Tumblr post by gt-r that says “oh you don’t want me? Only because I look unhealthy and speak in riddles?” near Sherlock who has his arms crossed sitting opposite him.

Image ID 7: An Onion BREAKING NEWS headline that says “Experts Say 2 Hours Of Sleep Plenty If Psychosis No Big Deal For You” on top of a closeup of a sweat-drenched Sherlock.

Image ID 8: A Tumblr post by mumblesplash that says “like it’s MY fault my love language is acts of service and all I know how to do is kill” on top of an angry John as Sherlock walks away, recovering from what just happened.

Image ID 9: A Tumblr post by log4 “men have conversations like it’s a competition” with a reply from untitledbitcch that says “Yeah that’s the point, why else would you talk to someone” reblogged by log4 who says “please please help me” on top of Sherlock, Mycroft, and John while he begs for help.

Image ID 10: A Tumblr post by lonestatus that says “it’s so foggy out on the road i can’t make out (makeout?! [blush emoji] [smirk emoji] [blush emoji] [frown emoji]!? [heart emoji] [heart exclamation point emoji]? [ten more variations of heart emoji] [lips emoji]?) A thing 10 feet in front of me” on top of a silhouetted John who is holding a lantern and navigating a foggy tunnel.

Image ID 11: A Tumblr post by redacted-metallum that says “Cthulhu Cthursday btw. If you even care.” on top of a closeup of Rochester’s eyes.

Image ID 12: A Tumblr post by rhinco that says “going insane all by yourself handsome?” and a Tumblr post by wroski that says “committing medical malpractice all by yourself, handsome?” on top of John forcibly injecting Sherlock with sedatives in their living room.

#sherlock holmes the awakened spoilers #shta spoiler #frogwares holmes #sherlock holmes the awakened

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kerubimcrepin · 1 month

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Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 10]

These sweets are so appetizing...

Due to the way this stall looks, I am assuming that these are types of candy that ouginaks and ecaflips love, and not literal animal food. Tragic.

Things Joris wants forgiveness for: leaving a bestie with cops (after she asked him to leave), disobeying his father after he folded on their plans for 99th time, telling his father that he's CRINGE and FAIL using his real cringe fail moments, and running away while having a mental breakdown.

Danmn he's so evil and bad for this fr fr......

Anyway, I think Joris's love language is gift giving and acts of service, and Kerubim's is words of affirmation and gift giving.

(This is wild ass headcanon territory because Atcham is a rarer character, but: Atcham's are acts of service and quality time. Source? It came to me in a vision.)

The street signs in this movie are killing me.

The Dofus Pets 2 ad says Dofus Pets 2.

Cute ad! It looks familiar though...

There ain't no way that these two pieces of art don't use some of the same reused assets...., I refuse to believe in that reality.

Joris is dissociating and Khan is trying to get his dick wet. Their friendship is so special.

By the way, the fact that they cut the "Khan makes/lets Joris do underage drinking, with many horny Khan-loving women present" scene still haunts me. Why? Why must have they forsaken me this way...

I still believe Khan bought Joris alcohol on regular until the guy was finally 18. I want to live in a world where Khan helped suicidally depressed 14yo Joris have a "coffee with cognac in the morning, chicken with cognac in the evening" lifestyle, and it's like one of the reasons Joris is still alive or something.

My other thought on the topic is that Atcham (imagine him being physically 4yo in this scenario), taught Joris how to smoke cigars. And then he had the shit beaten out of him by Kerubim (also 4 years old).

This is like his 60th divorce.

And he's never even been married.

Man.

The reaction to the door opening is IMMEDIATE.

THE PLATONIC DIVORCE #61 HAS BEEN CALLED OFF. But genuinely, it's so cute seeing how happy he is...

Joris thinking these things about him is his worst nightmare. AND the little guy is in danger. So, chances are, for a few hours he spent time thinking about how bad of a father he is, and how it's his fault that Joris is god-knows-where and in danger and also HATES him and will NEVER forgive him.

AND the disciplinary action he takes is just so chill and cute... (cough-cough, my own thoughts on whether Joris was based for this aren't relevant, because 1. he ran off god knows where and children shouldn't do that, and 2. even though his grievances are valid, he did bring them up as hurtfully as possibly, with some really fucked and irrelevant things too, just to make Keke feel pain at that moment. Which is not something one should get in the habit of.)

Your agonized twitching and worried faces have both bewitched me heart and soul.

He's literally still infant/toddler sized... So small, compared to Lilotte...

Sometimes, we say horrible things, when we're angry. They love each other so much... They're both willing to look past all the imperfections.... (throws up on the carpet like a cat)

No commentary, I just like seeing him afraid.

She and Kerubim have beef, as has been mentioned in many past posts.

Bakara does her fighting with the same icy, emotionless expression, that she had during her conversation with Kerubim at the bar. This is her "I am going to kill everyone in this building" resting face for when Julith is mentioned.

Kerubim is SHOCKED by how fast she leaped into combat. Also, I want to think, disappointed. This is too dangerous of an enemy to spring into action like that, simply out of rage, while having literally no combat experience...

Because like, Kerubim and Julith are veterans of a war/multuiple wars.

While Bakara is a 20~yo, freshly graduated, alcoholic nepo-baby.

Let it be known I don't like Julith. She is a fun character to watch, but... I feel like the fandom treats her as someone who's done no wrong, despite all the evidence we are given to believe that she is a horrible person.

She was framed, and she did love Jahash, but that doesn't take away from anything else. She beat the shit out of Bakara here, even though she could have restrained her much more gently, — she dug into Bakara's insecurities and called her a poor little fool too.

I really doubt Jahash would have liked that. (Same for her plans of killing a thousand people though, so, I really doubt she gives a shit about his wishes at this point.)

She does THIS SHIT. Jesus christ! Maybe, just maybe, she would know of your feelings, because she loves him just as much? Maybe that's why she wants to kill you as much as you want to kill everyone in Bonta? Have you thought about that, you hot topic customer-looking edgelord?

Besides her hypocrisy, she was known for her ruthlessness, even before the war. There's a reason they still call her a butcher. Which is why I kinda dislike how often this stuff is swept under the rug by fans making cute content.

...I do support women's rights, but I also support women's wrongs, and Julith has a lot of those. She's tragic, but also evil.

Unlike someone like Nox, she makes no effort to empathize or connect with people who oppose her, and knows no mercy. At the very least, Nox had a twisted sense of morals, and could whip out an epic "you're just like me fr...." during a battle.

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #dofusmovie

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gellavonhamster · 1 month

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assigning each straw hat pirate a knight of the round table

because I am currently obsessed both with One Piece and Arthuriana; not any kind of serious AU material, just silliness; I Wrote This for Me but You Can Read If You Like

Luffy: Arthur, not due to any similarities in characterization but purely on the functional level - the boy king, the inspirational leader and, as Sun God Nika, a mythical figure believed to return when people need him the most

Zoro: Lancelot, the perfect warrior who embodies that post that's like "it's not my fault that my love language is acts of service and all I know how to do is kill". There is no Queen Guinevere here, so all the undying devotion is aimed at the king instead. Canonically has massive tits. Mihawk is thus implied to be the Lady of the Lake, and I think that's hilarious

Nami: hear me out: Kay. Sharp-tongued, rather cynical, but loyal to a fault to his king/adopted little brother. Nami as part of the Coward Trio vs. Kay being unlucky on quests and generally the butt of the joke. Isn't known to be a great warrior but occupies an important position (navigator vs. seneschal) that keeps the ship/court going. Besides, looking from the opposite direction, I just think Kay deserves to be the hot girl

Usopp: Usopp, sweetie, I'm so sorry, but I gotta say Tristan. Because Tristan is constantly lying about his identity in the most ridiculous manner possible and it somehow works. That part in Le Morte d'Arthur when he's asked what his name is and goes "Tramtrist" and no one suspects a thing even though "Tramtrist" is just "Tristram" with syllables switched around has big Sniper King energy. Also, can't forget the beautiful blonde healer girlfriend

Sanji: oh, that's the easiest one. Gawain. The Maidens' Knight, the ladies' man, a great warrior and one of the king's closest and most trusted men. If you put together Gawain's characterizations from different texts, from SGATGK to Le Morte to the Vulgate & Post-Vulgate to Chrétien de Troyes to everything, you end up with a contradictory character who is simultaneously the best and the worst guy you'll ever meet, which is how I often feel about Sanji, tbh. Would totally fight at a tournament on behalf of a little girl. Has some kind of an epic gay thing with Lancelot

Chopper: Yvain. Son of a sorceress - ah, pardon, a woman of science; associated with animals; known to be nice and kind (the Vulgate Cycle describes him as the one "whose heart will be filled with every kindness"). Occasionally goes insane in the woods (Monster Point), but, like, who doesn't

Robin: try as I might, I can't pull any direct parallels out of my ass, but I do think that narratively she can be seen as kind of a quasi-Mordred. Since her very childhood she was proclaimed to be bad news and expected to eventually cause a catastrophe, but where Mordred, whom no one tries to persuade the prophecy doesn't define him, ends up becoming exactly what he's expected to become, Robin has people who support her and trust her even after witnessing her be the bad guy in the past, so she never becomes the evil others expect her to turn into

Franky: Sagramore the Desirous (or the Unruly, depending on the text/translation) is a big, strong, good-natured knight who probably has low blood sugar needs to have a snack after fighting because otherwise he'll pass out, much like a certain cyborg needs his cola. In the Post-Vulgate, he and Mordred were raised together, which can be linked to Frobin's fates being intertwined since childhood, because I've Connected the Dots (you didn't connect shit)

Brook: I wanted to pick a character of the older generation who nevertheless isn't a mentor figure to Arthur, and I struggle to think of a better option than Pellinore - not the predatory piece of shit in the medieval texts, but the eccentric but loveable old man in Camelot (1967). Brook is also on a quest focused on an extraordinary beast! Only he's not hunting it, he's trying to get back to it because that beast is his friend 🥺

Jinbei: I honestly don't remember if he counts as the Knight of the Round Table, but I am hereby appointing him Ector - Arthur's adoptive father and one of the nicest parental figures in Arthuriana (and probably one of the nicest people in Arthuriana, period). I've also considered Galehaut for the "(partially) non-human ruler who allies himself with Arthur" angle, but that would imply Jinbei/Zoro and I'm not ready to deal with that.

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #cat burglar nami #god usopp #black leg sanji #tony tony chopper #nico robin #cyborg franky #soul king brook #jinbei #gella talks one piece #talk talk talk #initially this included a line about sagramore being a himbo & franky being a genius engineer easily mistaken for a himbo #but i ctrl+f'd through a couple of volumes of the vulgate & i can't find what prompted me to think of sagramore as a himbo. besides Vibes #wouldn't wanna throw unwarranted accusations around

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badass-queer-couples-battle · 5 months

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Sword gays showdown, round 0.5

Propaganda:

For Liu Qingge:

Warning for spoilers, He’s the War God of Bai Zhan Peak basically the original sword gay in the world of SVSSS, whether or not you ship him with Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe or neither the point still stands that he’s a draw his sword first ask questions later kinda guy. Also SQQ basically canonically calls him a pretty boy, what more do you need

He's one of the best swordsmen in-universe! According to the author, he's not interested in a relationship so he's canonically aro and possibly ace as well!

For Kurogane:

He's been practicing swordplay since his dad started teaching him when he was a kid, and inherited the sword Ginryuu that's been in his family for generations. He now uses his skill with a blade to protect the people he cares about, and is considered the strongest swordsman in his country. He once cut off his own arm with his sword to save the life of the man he loves, and honestly isn't that just Peak Sword Gay?

he's over six foot & his sword is almost as tall as he is, his husband (technically not canon but by god the queer subtext is h e a v y) is an immortal vampire wizard twink whose life he saved by cutting off his own arm, he's a family man first & a mass murderer second, he's that one tumblr post that's like "it's not my fault my love language is acts of service & all I know how to do is kill", he is the most mentally stable member of his traumatized little found family & he's doing his level best to drag the rest of them up with him no matter how much they (specifically his husband) might kick & scream about it

#sword gays showdown #trc #svsss #liu qingge #kurogane #tsubasa reservoir chronicle #the scum villain's self saving system

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whump-tr0pes · 6 months

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Honor Bound 6 - 24

Honor Bound 6 - 24 (Not Used to Freedom) - @badthingshappenbingo

Requested by @who-needs-a-life-anyways

Red X for posted, white X for requested! Send in your requests! If you don’t see a prompt here that you already requested, please send it again!

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, Honor Bound 5, and the prequel Vera.

AO3

Masterlist

Contents: past captivity, themes of self-harm, past hallucinations, angst, recovery, Gavin being a feral Pomeranian with Isaac desperately holding the leash, frank discussion of murder, past child abuse, complicated feelings about abusers, Isaac "it's not my fault my love language is Acts of Service and all I know how to do is kill" Moore, discussion of dead parents

For the third time in three days, Gavin woke with no collar around his neck. He woke with a soft mattress beneath him and a thick, warm blanket over him, and the golden late-September sun creeping into the window. The shades were pulled back, so that the sun could come in and so that he could see out, see that he wasn’t in a small windowless basement with stairs up to a single door, a high ceiling, and a gallows against one wall.

Most importantly, he woke next to the warm, strong body of the man who had saved him, and he told himself yet again like a fervent prayer that this wasn’t Schiester’s cruelest hallucination yet.

Gavin rolled closer to Isaac and tucked his head in the hollow of Isaac’s throat. He didn’t know if Isaac was awake, or if it was simple unconscious instinct that had Isaac’s arms drawing around him and holding him close, but he didn’t care. He breathed out a shaky sigh and allowed himself to be held. There was warmth, here, unlike anything he had ever felt in the depths of Schiester’s basement. Even with the blankets he had earned with his desperate, often false confessions, nothing had ever felt even close to this warm. It had only ever been the chill of the air and of Schiester’s gaze, and the fire of the cane, the knife, the beatings. Then the chill, again, of being so completely, utterly alone.

Tears wet the pillow beneath Gavin’s head, and he sniffled. He hadn’t meant to start crying.

A hand cradled his cheek, and he pressed his lips to Isaac’s palm. The tears flowed freely now. His face screwed up and he buried it against Isaac’s chest.

“Gavin?” Isaac’s chest rumbled against Gavin’s ear. Gentle fingers slid through Gavin’s short hair, and he shivered at the soft touch. It had been days of soft touch, of clean clothes, of a warm bed, of hot food… Surely Schiester wouldn’t let him feel this relief for days. The only price had been watching Isaac’s pain as he reeled from his memories of Rosa, watching Isaac as he struggled so, so hard not to punish himself for all the shame that threatened to crush him – and nearly losing his own life again at the hands of another specter with cold blue eyes.

But that was Edrissa, not Schiester. And Sam said they really don’t think she’s going to try again.

“Are you alright?” Isaac rasped, tilting Gavin’s face up so he could get a good look. Isaac’s eyebrows pulled together over dark eyes and darker circles beneath them. The kindness in his eyes, the concern, fully undid him. Gavin’s throat closed around a sob.

“No, look,” Isaac said, his own voice tight. He guided Gavin’s face up, tilted it so he was looking at the room, dimly lit by the sun. “This is real. You’re safe, Gavin, you’re—”

“N-no, I, I know,” Gavin whispered. “I think… I know.” Isaac let out a breath. “I’m just…” Gavin pulled Isaac close again, buried his face in his neck. Tears wet the collar of Isaac’s sleeping shirt. “I was just… so scared. So alone.”

“I know,” Isaac said brokenly.

“I thought was going to die,” Gavin whimpered.

“I kn-know,” came the reply. Isaac’s arms tightened around him.

“I thought… I thought I… I thought I broke you, I thought I made you hate me so much you’d l-leave me there…”

Count yourself lucky.

Ice clutched Gavin’s chest, threatened to drag him away from Isaac’s arms and down, down into the depths of Schiester’s basement again. It was always waiting for him, always there. He simply had to close his eyes and let himself be pulled in.

A hand, gentle as a kiss but strong as iron, slid under Gavin’s jaw and lifted his face until his eyes met Isaac’s again. Isaac’s lips trembled as he said, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry that he… that he ever made you feel that way. That he ever made it possible. But Gavin… no. No. You didn’t break me. And I could…” The hand on Gavin’s jaw began to shake. “I could never… leave you there, Gavin, I’m… sorry it took me so long to—”

“Don’t,” Gavin breathed, and shook his head. “Don’t.” He reached up and twined his fingers through Isaac’s, kissing each scarred knuckle. Gavin’s breaths were shaky and ragged, and Isaac’s matched his.

Gavin forced himself to draw in a slow breath through his nose.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Nothing smelled like Isaac in the basement, but Gavin could smell Isaac all around him now. It calmed him, slowed the stuttering beat of his heart. He scrubbed at the tears with his sleeve and met Isaac’s eyes again.

“I want to go outside again today,” he said with an uncertain smile.

Isaac’s lips curved up. “That sounds nice. Any particular place, or…?”

“Just outside,” Gavin said. “Anywhere. The town again, or…” He trailed off as Isaac’s smile froze. “Or the woods, maybe…”

“We can go into town,” Isaac said thickly. “We can, um…” He swallowed hard. His thumb rubbed along his forearm over his long sleeve, back and forth, and unconscious movement that made Gavin’s own scars itch. “If you want—”

“I don’t want to run into Rosa again,” Gavin said as he gently took Isaac’s wrist in his hand. Isaac went rigid and met Gavin’s eyes with a startled look. “I… that’s the last thing I want.”

Isaac swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut. “If we, um, r-run into her while we’re out, then—”

“I don’t want to run into her again if not allowed to kill her, Isaac,” Gavin said, as calmly as he could muster.

Isaac’s eyes flew open. His pulse raced under Gavin’s fingers. “S-sorry?” he mumbled.

“After what she did to you?” Gavin said, feeling rage coiling inside him like an injured predator. He thought his fury had been beaten out of him, cut out of him.

Not when it comes to my family. Not when it comes to Isaac.

He cleared his throat and took a steadying breath. “After what she… did to you,” he murmured, “I don’t want to see her again unless you’ll let me at her next time.”

“You could barely stand,” Isaac huffed, incredulous.

“I could have done damage,” Gavin said. His stomach roiled with bitter hatred for the woman who had looked at Isaac as he fell apart in front of her, because of what she had done to him, and laughed.

Laughed.

“You don’t know her,” Isaac said, shifting his gaze down. “She made me, um, who I am.”

“Bullshit she did, Isaac,” Gavin snapped. “She taught you how to handle a weapon and take inhuman amounts of punishment, and she cheated because you were already ready to do the second thing. And she couldn’t even beat you in a fair fight, so I think I stand a fair chance at half strength.”

“She can… but I…” Isaac shook his head as if dazed. “You’re not at half strength, Gavin.”

Gavin snorted, his eyes still blazing. “Fine. A quarter. My point still stands, she’s a fucking piss-ant weakling that couldn’t beat you with one arm tied behind your back, so you should have let me at least try while I had my shot at her. I don’t know if I’ll get another chance.”

Isaac’s brow furrowed. “Why do you keep… She’s not weak, she used to beat me every fucking night. She used to beat me into the fucking ground. And—”

“First off, that’s fucking horrifying, so I hope you registered what you just said.” Isaac opened his mouth, but Gavin kept going. “Second, how old were you when that was happening?”

Isaac blinked. “Um… I mean, I was… younger, but… even once I got a little older, she could still take me with the others, she could still—”

“So she could beat you as long as there were multiple other people you were fighting? Along with her?” Gavin’s head was beginning to throb.

“I mean… sometimes it was one-on-one with her, at the end of the night, when—”

“When you were tired?”

Isaac looked at Gavin helplessly. “I mean… yes, when I was tired, but sometimes you have to fight when you’re tired—”

“But I’m guessing she was always fresh when this happened.” Gavin’s jaw ached, too. He forced himself to relax it.

“I… I don’t remember, but… yeah, I guess she was fresh more often than not…?”

Gavin was shaking with rage. “Why didn’t you let me fucking kill this woman?” he breathed. “Who hurt you and used you and made you think, after all of this, that she was somehow stronger than you, so you were too scared to fight back against all of it?”

“I wouldn’t have fought back,” Isaac said as he shook his head. “I would have lost the family if I… if I ever…”

Gavin fell silent. He had no answer, no retort for the words that faded between them. Gavin had never fought back, either. He had never even considered it. He had been so young when his parents first made him afraid that he never remembered there being another option.

And, just like Isaac, he had been saved when his family cast him out when he failed to be what they made him.

“S-sorry,” Gavin rasped, and pressed his lips to Isaac’s scarred knuckles again. “I’m… I’m just… angry. At what she did to you.”

“Yeah,” Isaac said softly. “I’m getting that.”

“You’re not angry?” Gavin’s eyes flicked up to Isaac’s.

“Um…” Isaac wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I am. A little. But mostly there’s just… shame.” He seemed to be trying very, very hard not to press on the newest cuts on his forearms – the ones not left by Gavin, but by Isaac himself. “I mean… are you angry at your parents?”

“Yes,” Gavin answered, without hesitation. Then, “But… mostly for… what they did to you. The family.”

Isaac huffed and pressed a kiss to Gavin’s hair. “Feelings about the people who hurt us doesn’t ever seem to make much sense. I wasn’t angry at my mother for… years. I mean… I didn’t realize I felt anything but guilt for her until this year, and even then it’s… hard.”

“Yeah,” Gavin whispered. He drew in a deep breath and let it out.

“For what it’s worth, while we’re on the topic of parents and killing people,” Isaac said, “I know this might be… kind of a weird thing to say.” He gently cradled Gavin’s face and pressed their foreheads together. “But for what your parents did to you… I’m jealous that Vera got to kill both of them. Doesn’t seem fair.”

Grief, familiar and faded, washed through Gavin’s chest. A bitter laugh tightened in his throat. “That’s fair,” he said. “And definitely the most romantic thing you’ve said all morning.”

“I do what I can,” Isaac said with an equally tense laugh, but the arms around Gavin were careful and warm. Gavin fit into them like Isaac’s arms were home – the only home he’d ever known. All his parents’ homes, his warehouse in the east prairie, the Crayton house, the lake house – they had all been places he’d laid his head, but none of them had ever been home. The only place that he had ever rested, the only place he had ever found peace, was in the arms of the man who held him now – the arms of the man he thought he had broken a second time. Tears burned in his eyes again and he blinked them away. He didn’t want to spend the morning crying and angry. He wanted to spend the morning outside with the sun on his face and his hand twined with Isaac’s.

“I want to get up,” Gavin said softly, and pushed himself upright. “We don’t have to go into town, but… please, Isaac, let’s—”

“No, we can go into town,” Isaac said with a shaky smile. “If Rosa lives here, then… I’ll have to find a way to make peace with that. And if you want to go into town, then… for fuck’s sake, we’re going into town, and no one is going to stop us.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Gavin’s cheek. Gavin turned his head and caught Isaac’s mouth in a kiss that Isaac broke after only a moment.

Gavin’s smile faltered. “To town it is,” he said softly. “And then it would be good to visit with Vera and Tori?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Isaac said. He groaned as he rolled out of bed and stripped off his shirt. “We have some stuff to catch them up on.”

“Yeah,” Gavin said as he averted his eyes from Isaac’s scars. “Yeah, we do.”

Continued here

@womping-grounds , @free-2bmee , @quirkykayleetam , @walkingchemicalfire , @inpainandsuffering , @redwingedwhump , @burtlederp , @castielamigos-whump-side-blog , @whatwhumpcomments , @whumpywhumper , @stxck-fxck , @whumps-the-word , @justplainwhump , @finder-of-rings , @inky-whump , @orchidscript , @inkyinsanity , @this-mightaswell-happen , @newandfiguringitout , @whumpkitty , @pretty-face-breaker , @pebbledriscoll , @im-just-here-for-the-whump , @endless-whump , @grizzlie70 , @oops-its-whump , @kixngiggles, @1phoenixfeather , @butwhatifyouwrite , @carnagecardinal , @whumpifi , @squishablesunbeam

#honor bound 6 #bad things happen bingo #not used to freedom #whump #hurt/comfort #Isaac/Gavin #past captivity #themes of self-harm #past hallucinations #angst #recovery #frank discussion of murder #past child abuse #complicated feelings about abusers #discussion about dead parents

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crankyfemme · 1 year

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Please talk to me about Joel and Tess I’ve been thinking about them all weekend

I don't even know if I have any coherent thoughts about them it's all just a wriggling mass of worms in here, screaming about their dynamic. (Update from after writing out the rest of this deranged essay: I did not mean for this to get so long and go off on so many tangents. I am insane. Thank you.)

I'm utterly obsessed with the way Tess is the one who calls the shots - just reblogged a post the other day about how Joel looks to her for decision-making, which mixed nicely in my brain with that quote from the podcast about Joel being "a little bit of a Frankenstein monster" that Tess is leading. This fermented in my brain with Joel's consistent characterization as someone who can't live for himself, only for someone else. As joking as it is, people are absolutely on the nose with the "acts of service being Joel's love language" posts. He doesn't know how to be a person unless he's orbiting another. (This also neatly parallels Ellie's greatest fear of ending up alone, but that's a whooooole nother essay.)

For a long time, Sarah was the axis around which he orbited, and that is why losing her led to a near suicide. Tommy managed to shift Joel's orbit around himself, to save his brother, which led to "all the things we did - the things you judge me for" from episode 6. This next bit is speculation, but I think it's fairly well supported by evidence from canon. I think that Tommy wasn't able to properly handle how Joel's trauma changed him, not okay with the level of violence Joel was willing to reach to keep Tommy safe, but utterly unable to lose the only family he had left.

(Continuing this Tommy tangent, sorry): he absolutely feels some level of responsibility for how fucked up Joel is now. If he had arrived just a little sooner, he could have saved Sarah, and Joel wouldn't be the way he is. Every time Joel does something morally reprehensible for Tommy's sake, Tommy thinks this is my fault. At least at first. They met Tess later, so there was no one else for Joel to orbit, so Tommy was the only option. And he was definitely there during and in the wake of Joel's suicide attempt, so he knows Joel cannot be alone. But the way they're surviving is fucking with him.

It's not until later, when Joel and Tess have become close enough for her to be Joel's new Person that Tommy can leave, which he does, of course he does, because seeing what's become of his brother makes him sick with guilt and anger. He couldn't leave until he knew for sure Joel had a Person to keep living for, but once that's a sure thing, he leaves. (There's another whole essay in here about Joel and Tommy being foils, where Joel must be devoted to a single person and Tommy must be devoted to some greater cause, but I've digressed enough. You came here for Joel and Tess. Sorry. I swear these thoughts are all related.) Back to Joel. Everything about him screams "experienced parentification as a child" and I know I'm still in speculation land but come on. He's several years older than Tommy and he became a father at a young age, and it's implied that he was a single father from pretty early on in Sarah's life (moreso in the game, but there's no indication they changed that for the show). Joel and Tommy's parents are never so much as mentioned.

Adults who were parentified as children have a hard time expressing and meeting their own needs, particularly emotionally, and have a hard time turning off their "caregiver" mode. Just for fun, I ran a quick search about parentification to refresh my memory, and I'd like to share a few sentences that made me insane: "A parentified child does not learn to distinguish their own needs and feelings from those of other people." Here's another: "In certain cases, some degree of parentification may have positive effects, such as building resilience and competency."

Who does that sound like? Joel "you were never gonna do it for yourself" Miller, that's fucking who. (For added derangement, rewatch the breakfast scene in episode 1, starting around 6:50 when Tommy comes through the door. "Awww, he loves you." "He's dependent on me. It's not the same." But I digress. Again.) ANYWAY: Enter Tess. Tess is fucking smart and ruthless about survival, Tess shares Joel's deep trauma of losing a child, and Tess doesn't have Tommy's angst about how Joel has changed from Before. She's exactly someone whose psychological profile can mesh well with post-Outbreak Joel's. She's resourceful and great at social engineering, and she quickly picks up on how Joel's mind operates. As the audience, we never get to actually see or hear how they met and grew close, but given how they are as people, I think it's likely that Tess initially saw Joel as a resource to use, then figured out more about him, and grew to actually give a shit - until she ended up giving a lot of shits. Too many, maybe.

She definitely knows she has power in their dynamic, that she can make the decisions and Joel will follow her lead, that Joel cares about her. The scene in their apartment kitchen where he sees her swollen eye and she already knows he's going to react the way he does, has her first sentence prepared so he'll sit back down. The casual way she allows him to tilt her head and pat at her face with the cloth? She knows his need to caretake, and she allows him a few moments to meet it, and then she gently redirects him and breaks the bad news about the battery to him.

She handles him emotionally like a fucking master pianist at the keys. (Follow along at about 53:25 in episode 1 if this next bit makes no fucking sense.) She starts gentle, reassuring, telling him "nothing's lost" after dropping the fact that Robert sold the battery. She matches Joel's energy when he stands, upset, saying "okay, fuck it, we get our money back and the battery" so he doesn't feel like she's being condescending or too calm about something that's a big deal to him. She approaches, makes physical contact with her hand to get him to meet her eyes, and lays out the logic - the goal is not out of reach, but will be unless Joel listens to her. And then she says "I need you to take a breath" and there's a quiet moment where you can see her exaggerating a breath for Joel to follow. (I think this is where I became unrecoverable, by the way, if it wasn't already back where Joel rolls over at her hand on his back to be her little spoon.) Notice the energy level in the room after that breath? They both continue speaking in lower, calmer voices. Even when Joel says "Well who'd he sell it to?" his tone is irritated without being loud and abrasive.

And then my favorite thing ever. "Now I promised Robert you wouldn't hurt him. But I would very much like for you to hurt him." Because Tess knows that she is Joel's Person, and what things Joel will do for his Person. She knows because she saw it back when it was Tommy. And Tess has no problem weaponizing Joel, unlike Tommy, who'd been driven away by that very thing.

The saddest part, to me personally, is that while Tess was able to understand that she was Joel's Person, she didn't let herself believe that meant love. Not the way she wanted it to. She figured that he had to revolve around someone, psychologically, but that didn't mean he had to love them. And Joel couldn't ever say it to her, because he loses everyone he loves. It's even more obvious with Ellie, later, when he so clearly loves her as a daughter and just cannot say it in such plain words. He loved Sarah, and she died in his arms, and he loved Tommy, and Tommy left him behind. So there's no way Joel was ever going to be able to be clear with Tess that he loved her, even though he so clearly did. Especially since Tess died before Ellie's presence in Joel's life started to heal the wound - "it wasn't time that did it."

God. I have no idea if any of this makes sense, I just had a million thoughts and feelings and went off on several tangents, but I've finally run somewhat out of steam and I did, in fact, talk about Joel and Tess like you asked. So I'm gonna call it a success.

Anyway, how was your weekend?

#this is a goddamn mess lmao #dilf-din #my asks #tlou #joel miller #tess servopoulos #i guess i gotta tag the rest too. shit.#sarah miller #tommy miller #joel and tess #ellie williams #sorry if this pops up in the main tags but i'm not redoing it now god bless

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beanghostprincess · 6 months

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Every time I see your sanuso posts rhghhhgg I love this ship thanks for feeding me content. I just feel like I need to share my thoughts now lol

Sanji having to accept he has feelings for a *man*. In like a "oh fuck this has never happened before what the shit" way cause he's scared and doesn't know what to do and doesn't want to fuck up and it's really hard to accept these feelings for him and just as a part of him.

Also just him spacing out to think "why him of all people" cause Usopp is really just a silly little guy a small silly guy he is so silly and simple AND YET...

While Usopp struggles with his self-image and accepting himself as well. It's not Water 7 bad. But it's there. He's trying his best to become stronger. But he can't help thinking about all the times he might have caused trouble for the crew. And he brushes them off with jokes or excuses. Or if he's genuinely at fault he apologizes. But the feelings are still there. Bottling up.

Sanji somehow figures out, whether just by looking at the sniper who's in a bad mood or by overhearing his drunk/half-asleep thoughts and goes "nuh-uh" and showers him with nice words and maybe a snack to cheer him up and oh my god he is so terrible because it's so hard for him to say "I love you" because it sounds weird and he doesn't want to sound romantic because he's still in denial and tries his best to avoid anything that may be interpreted as anything but platonic which leaves him with lack of much needed words.

And then Usopp notices Sanji's struggle to speak and lets go of his sadness to make fun of the cook (kinda) for his approach and then just easily tell him "Love you too" and give him a big hug and just stay like this for a while. And Sanji being a completely touch starved loser he is just has to prevent himself from hugging Usopp tighter. He doesn't care if sniper takes it the wrong way, he's just genuinely worried he will crush him if he does he knows he might.

And also the fear of telling Usopp when Sanji eventually does come into terms he's in love. Like that's gotta be the most nerve-wracking experience at the time.

Everything goes well tho they hug and hold hands and smooch and do boyfriends stuff and then the crew found One Piece and Luffy became king of pirates and everyone made their dreams come true and everything was good the end.

sanji is just like me fr repressed bitch i love him so much so much so much-

this is so sweet and it captures their characters perfectly!!! i'm actually such a fan of sanji's struggles with saying "i love you" despite one of his love languages being words of affirmation (i mean the first one is obviously acts of service). and also usopp struggling with his self-worth is always something that makes me cry,,,

this is exactly why water 7 is sanuso shippers' roman empire. they're literally perfect.

and i'm glad you like my posts!!! i'm mentally unwell!!! they make me ill!!!! i'm insane <3

#one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso

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prosciuttulipa · 14 days

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hiii! this is for the matchup event:))

1. id like a matchup from jjk, no gender preference! my personality type is isfp. i tend to be a bit introverted at first but im a YAPPER and open up pretty easily if the vibes are right (almost to a fault bc i think i scare ppl away getting too excited sometimes🙂‍↕️). i care a lot abt paying attention to what the people around me like, so my love language is acts of care/service:) i LUVVV fortnite (ik🫥) and finding new music to share with the people i care about. i AM one of those people that posts songs to their instagram stories even though i know no one cares ! i play some instruments and love to sing as well:) green flags: someone who can match my silliness without getting freaked out😭 𝖕𝖑𝖘 𝖇𝖆𝖊 🗣️. dislikes/deal breakers are a bit hard to think of, but i guess super messy people? i’m pretty particular about my space lol. i’m pretty short and have a curvy/pear body shape. i have wavy brown hair and blue eyes and my pronouns are she/her!

2. id love text conversations to go with the headcannons:)) THANK YEW💞

Congratulations! You have been matched with...

Toge Inumaki

If there was ever a more perfect representation of "girlfriend who yaps and boyfriend who listens", it would be you and Toge. Admittedly, Toge's inability to speak is what inclines him to listen more, but he's more than happy to play the role for you.

With both of you being introverts, the two of you initially hit it off by talking over text; it gives Toge more of an even playing field for conversation too. You find out that Toge is in fact hilarious, his responses dry and quippy (he knows too many memes for his own good). When he realises that you like playing Fortnite, he immediately asks you to join a game with him. Your first date is spent playing round after round of the game, rising the ranks and finally coming out on top. He also finds it endearing that you post songs to your Instagram stories. When first starting to flirt with you, he would make sure to reply to them, telling you his thoughts on the song after he finishes listening to it.

Since he's not able to communicate much verbally when you're in person, he often defers to songs to convey his feelings, a way of sharing in your love for music. He's surprised when you suggest a new way of communicating between the two of you—by humming certain notes and patterns, he should be able to convey more in comparison to his rice ball ingredient vocabulary. He's touched that you went out of your way to think this up, your act of service dear to his heart.

Dates with Toge are pretty much what you expect out of a typical high school romance, but his favourite type is when he can listen to you sing and play your instruments, while chilling in the background. It's one of the few times he can truly join with his voice, humming along with you as a duet.

The Matchmaker's Gift

#—playing matchmaker!#—prosciuttulipa events.#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk matchup #jjk matchups

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creacherkeeper · 1 year

Text

when your party adopts the slutty lesbian assassin angel of the jackalope god of chaos and death

{ unknown / @mumblesplash / devotions, mary oliver / jackrabbit, san fermin / @moral-autism / the door, margaret atwood / raise hell, brandi carlile / watership down, richard adams / @paladinbaby / creacherkeeper }

[ID: a series of 10 images, mainly text, in a litstack

1, in all caps in a wild west font: is that a boy or a girl? / ma'am that's an outlaw

2: a tumblr post by mumblesplash that reads "like it's MY fault my love language is acts of service and all i know hoe to do is kill"

3: I believe in kindness. Also in mischief. Also in singing, especially when singing is not necessarily prescribed.

4: Want to live like an animal? / By the skin of your teeth? / Put your good face on, you're foolin' no one / You're a jackrabbit underneath

5: a tumblr post by moral-autism that reads "anyway for the record, yes, so-and-so did use girl power when she committed a bunch of murders. it's called girl power not girl ethics or girl qualms or girl wisdom or whatnot."

6: Anything can become a saint if you pray to it enough -

7: I've been down with a broken heart / Since the day I learned to speak / The devil gave me a crooked start / When he gave me crooked feet / But Gabriel done came to me / And kissed me in my sleep / And I'll be singing like an angel / Until I'm six feet deep

8: All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.

9: art of brandi by paladinbaby. brandi is an aasimar with light brown skin and freckles. she's shown from the chest up and is looking upwards. she has brown hair in two thick braids, and lighter brown lop rabbit ears and short antlers. he's wearing a white bow choker, and a beaded red leather jacket open over a teal bra. she also has a septum piercing and lesbian flag pin. the background is light blue

10: a screenshot of a discord message from lev (creacherkeeper) that reads "my favorite thing about brandi is that he's stoopid"

end ID]

#litstack #quote collection #lost township #time for a more fun one #brandi my babygirl i love him so dearly #yes her name is brandi carlile dont at me #brandi losttownship

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kiwisbell · 2 months

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Hi, it's Helen!anon coming to you from tumblr on my computer for the first time ever!!! I have only ever used it on my phone but to bring you my promised very long thoughts on Helen chapter 2 I wanted to also make references to chapter 1 and going between tabs on my computer is easier than my phone so!!! LET US EMBARK ON WHAT IS SURE TO BE A VERY LONG ADVENTURE (also there is no rhyme or reason to the order of what I've written I just had so many thoughts pls forgive me)

So after reading chapter 2 I am even more curious as to the opening section of chapter 1 bc I could see Joel loosing his shit and going scorched earth for so many reasons. If wife dies? He's loosing it! If she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore? He's loosing it! If they are reconciling but she is under threat? He's loosing it! And here I was wishing for an ending with a puppy :( feels like that is very far away at this point (but in a realistic way though!! These revelations SHOULD put the puppy discussion on the back burner!!) Having revisited chapter 1 I also want to amend the theory from my last message: I think Bill (which chapter 2 tells us is in Joel's contacts!!) will be the Marcus equivalent, and now I think Tess will be the Perkins of this fic, but what do I know!!!

One thing that I didn't really think about until I had processed chapter 2 is how Joel has been missing his wife for a whole month, and then RIGHT as he gets her back shit goes down and there is this huge fissure in their relationship. For one, it really nicely parallels the way that RIGHT when John gets Daisy (to help him mourn after his wife passes) shit goes down. Additionally, Joel in chapter 1 says "Never leave again" thinking his biggest concern should be the length of her business trips, not knowing her leaving temporarily is about to seem REAL GOOD when faced with the possibility of her just leaving, period. I love me some foreshadowing but when I go back and spot it I'm always like !!!!! Also the way Joel can never stick to rules when it comes to her was so sweet until I realised that he also cannot stick to the rule that he will not get sucked back into his old life now that he has her... yes he can be meticulous and calculating due to the nature of his job for many years but he is so driven by emotion! We love tragic irony in that the same woman he loved enough to leave the life for, ultimately ends up being the woman he gets back into it for!!! And it fits your characterisation of his childhood trauma so profoundly, nobody ever taught him healthy coping skills!!! This reminds me of that post going around that's a picture of Joel and the text says "like it’s MY fault my love language is acts of service and all i know how to do is kill". Like when he says "“I can't just… let it all go.”"!!!! This depth of this man's tortured-soul-issues is rivalled only by the depth of his love for his wife and that seems to be the root of all of this, basically

Next I want to talk about how well you've blended writing a chapter that stands on its own while also building on the previous chapter!!! Like obviously the plot is continuing and we're getting flashbacks so the story of chapter 2 works in its on right. But on a deeper level I really feel like my experience of rereading chapter 1 was ENRICHED by the existence of chapter 2 and vice versa. The wife asking Joel to take her home in chapter 1, then in chapter 2 we get "Red stains the grooves of his palms. Doesn’t he know that you just wanted to go home?" and "“It’ll be done,” he says desperately. “And we can go home.”" and "“Home is with my husband. I’m looking at you now, and I don't recognise an inch of the man I married.”" and then "“We don't have a home anymore, Joel. We have this hotel room" THE THEMATIC LAYERING!!!! I think this also really works nicely within the questioning of their marriage and his identity - if they don't have a (physical) home anymore, if he lied about who he is to the extent that their whole relationship feels like a lie, do they have an emotional home together anymore? In that same vein, the parallels drawn between Joel and his wife between the two chapters makes this question all the more heartbreaking!! Bc in chapter 1 we get the flashback to her 2nd gallery showing where it's revealed "devotion" means something for the first time for both of them BECAUSE of the other. And we see the ways in which they care for each other (she cuts Joel's hair bc that's how he is most comfortable. He doesn't get it cut himself. bc she said she likes it - SUCH a good "example!!"show don't tell"). Then in chapter 2, even when they're not on the best terms, he insists the doctor see to her injury first even though he is more severely injured - meanwhile she is so clearly worried about him when he's getting stitches that he is shocked she can care for him so obviously while also clearly being mad at him!!! (These two are gonna be the death of me!!) ALSO the idea that poetry and philosophy are not opposites bc they need each other!!!! (I SEE YOU Coleridge was both a poet and a philosopher, Machen was a scholar and Wilde was a poet, they both like a bit of each I SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING I SEE IT AND IT IS KILLING ME) Another parallel that ruined me? Joel remembering the name + address of the man who groped her years ago in chapter 1 to Joel saying he can't let the attack go in chapter 2... This makes me think of the Hozier song "Arsonist's Lullaby", the chorus says "All you have is your fire/And the place you need to reach/Don't you ever tame your demons/But always keep 'em on a leash" and that is exactly what happened with this Joel!! He never moved on from his past he just bottled it up and look where that got him!!! I mentioned Joel never being able to stick to his rules when it comes to her above and literally in chapter 1 you wrote "Maybe it reminds him of what he could never do, now that he had you. It seems the rules have been bent." YOUR ABILITY TO LAY BREADCRUMBS ASTOUNDS ME OH MY GOOOOD. The piece of continuity from chapter 1 that haunts me the MOST is that it is REPEATEDLY specified Joel cannot sleep without her and then she gets separate beds for them in the SAME room so he can see her, she is literally within reach but he cannot actually HAVE her you are driving me NUTS like don't get me wrong I am 100% on her side and I totally get it but MAN it just makes me so SAD

Here's yet another aspect of this series that drives me to insanity: the fact that there is so much tenderness in the Miller brothers, despite their past!!! The way Tommy talks to the wife when she is clearly shaken up (side note I ADOOORE every last detail about your characterisation for Tommy), the fact that Joel's hobby was BOOK BINDING?! You already had me in love with your version of Joel why did you have to add him binding a book just for her??? Why are you doing this to my poor fragile brain WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO?? The fact that Joel is still like "pls don't cry" like obviously unreasonable considering the circumstances but still??? COME OOOON. You just wanted to make me cry and guess what you succeeded NOW WHAT??? NOW! WHAT! Am I just supposed to walk around pretending to be a normal adult when I am just CONSTANTLY thinking about this fictional marriage BE SO FOR REAL RIGHT NOW!!! Joel was literally white-knuckling his way through his awkwardness trying to offer making her dinner, he was captivated by her immediately, he can literally not stop talking to her and thinking about her, dislikes lying to her, out of everything she says when she's angry at him he fixates on "loved" bc the past tense scares him, this is literally his inner monologue "In his dreams—maybe his one and only dream—he kept you safe more than he put you in danger" then immediately realises she can never be safe while he is an assassin so he decides to quit FOR HER like??? Did he get a master's degree in simpology from the university of simptown, usa???? This violent old man is a lovergirl at heart. The fact that he still showed concern for Tommy as they are having such a tense conversation?? You really got all the characterisations so RIGHT. Last point for this section: Joel saying "You are the only choice I don’t regret." I will never recover!!!

NOW: We finally get to the beating heart of the story. ALLOW ME A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THE CHARACTERISATION OF THE WIFE!!! First of all, she doesn't allow her anger at Joel to impact how she treats anyone else. She is so polite to Tommy and offers to paint the nursery, she thanks the doctor on his way out like?? We love a polite queen!! The fact that SHE approached HIM first at the restaurant, the way she so clearly says to Joel "I like you, talk to me whenever you like", the way she is so clear-headed about what it means for him to basically kill in her name!!! UGH SUCH A WELL-WRITTEN AND INTRIGUING CHARACTER!! The fact that there are some things she still sees clearly through her anger - like she makes the comment about "You know, hotels are where husbands take their other women" but also knows he wouldn't cheat, the way she is furious but still wants Joel to be okay, the way she is afraid she doesn't know this man but is still willing to go with him, even after finding all this out "there is no maybe" OKAY MULTIFACETED ICON!! We love grappling with the complexities of our own existence!!

Can I just say I am so sorry. This is not just long but also ramble-y and disjointed. My only excuse is sleep-deprivation and having so many things to say bc of how much I love this story!!! I could go on but I have to stop. myself at some point. Also the ending to chapter 2 is permanently etched into my brain it is so sad and so emotional and I have not been able to stop thinking about it since I read it

HELEN!ANON!!! my god, answering this ask has been such a long time coming and i apologise for the delay - i'm sure you know i've been having quite a wild few weeks!! i'll also be speaking to your other chapter 2 ask in this post, since i want to do your comments justice as best i can!! i've answered another ask from an anon that clarifies that no, neither of them will die -- i simply do not have the heart to commit such an atrocity.

firstly: you are so, so right in that both john and joel's lives are consumed by this inherent lack of peace. in JW1, we know that john and helen lived for good long years before she passed, but we only see those moments in flashbacks. everything that happens in the present happens to reaffirm the fact that nobody will let him live in peace. so in a way, joel and his wife's life needed to be immediately upended, because i'm nothing if not just as cruel as the canon!! additionally, your point about "never leave me again" is so poignant, as are your observations about the parallels between the past and present that turn a little insidious -- like yes!! he cannot follow his own rules when it comes to her!! and when it comes to re-entering the fold.. history repeats itself!! silly, silly man with terrible coping skills. (we will be returning back to this topic in a later chapter, which will be.. fun?? probably not, but fun for me!!)

also, wow, i genuinely don't think i will ever be able to thank you enough for the level of kindness you are showing this fic. i am seriously stunned by how much care you've shown this story and how deeply your analyses go. i am so, SO grateful to receive these messages and i really just don't know what i did to deserve them, but fuck they're an absolute honour to receive!!!

one of the major themes will be about exploring the possibility of rebuilding that "emotional home." both of these poor lil guys will have to confront a lot of feelings, and we'll have to see where all those feels take them!

you know what?? i'm SO glad you brought up the point about music, because i've been soooo fucking tempted to share my personal helen playlist (and yes, of COURSE arsonist's lullabye is on there and the ultimate hitman!joel song). so maybe i shall do that soon.... heehee

and you're right!! just because there are issues does not make those years of deep-rooted care and devotion and concern for one another's well-being disappear. and I KNOW IT'S BIG SADDIE HOURS OVER HERE I'M SO SORRY )': i promise i still love you

NOT THE MASTER'S DEGREE IN SIMPOLOGY IM------ okay how did you know that was my brand damn you got my ass with that lmfao. he really DID get that degree. top marks, honour roll, etc. the lovergirl will not stop!!

finally, it truly makes me so, so happy to know that you love his wife's character!!! she's a conflicted lovergirl too, just in a different way, and it's my goal to make this story as much about her journey as it is about joel's. so, wow, thank you for such kind and thoughtful words about my baby girl, i love her dearly and i'm so happy you do too EEK

PSA: to anyone who's been enjoying helen so far, helen!anon is the best place to go for some seriously stunning literary analysis because DAMN honey you blow me away every time. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU a million times for being here. i love you and appreciate you so much. xoxoxo

#helen!anon #kiwisbell answers #fic: helen #be still my beating heart over helen!anon's chapter 2 analysis #FUCK

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darkpoisonouslove · 11 months

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How was the first "I love you" between Griffin and Valtor? Who said it first and what was the reaction from both of them?

I could never quite figure that out. I don't know. I feel like Valtor would be kind of that text post that goes "it's not my fault that my love language is acts of service and all I know how to do is kill". Except he wouldn't just kill, I can see him also bringing her gifts every time he's out without her (or even sometimes when they're together). Honestly, I could see him saying he loves someone more as part of a manipulation. But when he's really in love? He'd rather die. No, I think he'd absolutely shower her in gifts and attention and sort of constantly emphasize that verbally.

I feel like Griffin is more likely to say it first but exactly because she knows him, she wouldn't. He would just not shut up about it if she says it, will constantly bring it up, especially while they argue. He's smug and insufferable enough as it is. She's also more willing to show her feelings through actions and touch (although I think that Valtor would be one to initiate physical affection more... until he realizes just how distracting it is for him as well as for her. Sure, he loves distracting her but sometimes that's inadvisable).

I think it would be that much funnier (read: more painful) when she leaves him because both of them can think that maybe the reason the other never said it, was because the other wasn't actually in love with them. But at that point both would go into hard denial. Griffin because she cannot handle the idea that she fell so deeply for him (and because of that she let herself do awful, horrible things) and he didn't actually feel anything for her. And Valtor because his ego cannot handle the idea that she could have played him so thoroughly for so long. But there's a little whisper in the back of both their minds going "what if" and they suffer.

#winx club #griffin x valtor #ask #anon #winx headcanons

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simmyfrobby · 1 year

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I have to ask have you ever considered the Matthew & Jesus dichotomy for Marchand & Bergeron bc you get both the reviled apostle (tax collector/resident ice pest) & the worshipped savior (Bergeron the same in every interpretation) + Matthew (along with other apostles) took on some of Jesus's role after his death to spread the gospel (to be a good leader? What does it mean to inherit Bergeron's legacy) - this being a much more obnoxiously optimistic approach to both Marchand + Bergeron and the post-Bergeron bruins ofc

Okay so first of all this is a much kinder interpretation of Marchand so I actually really like it. It still touches on a lot of the same notes (saint/sinner, love, devotion, loss, legacy) without having to deal with the betrayal. Excellent take. Thank you for sharing it!

"Bergeron the same in every interpretation" made me feel so !!!!!!!!!!! and also it reminded me of this:

(Last Days of Judas Iscariot.. again)

Now here comes my defence of Judas as Marchand

(.. again)

(I'm sorry)

(I love talking about it)

So part of the reason Judas is an easier fit than St. Matthew is because there is just so much more written about him in terms of poetry

(and theatre, which I assume from your ask you've already read my other post about so I won't repeat all that)

Here's a few of my favourite Judas lines:

To: Judas Iscariot, Thérèse Naccarato

"Damned to hell, damned in verse, damned to an eternity without him."

The Sacrifice, Frank Bidart

"Wiping away our sins, Christ stained us with his blood—;

to offer yourself, yet need betrayal, by Judas, before SHOULDERING

THE GUILT OF THE WORLD—;

… Give me the courage not to need Judas."

The Judas Passion, Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment

"I was called to sin-as-virtue, to virtue-as-sin… of course with a kiss: kiss of repentance, kiss of inexpressible sorrow"

Sadly there are less poems about the other saints/disciples. I did initially look into St. Peter (Jesus washing his feet, Peter cutting off someones ear in the Garden of Gethsemane), but I ultimately found it less compelling than the Judas narrative.

(the three acts of denial killed it. Marchy never shuts up about Bergeron, actually)

It's just.. the DRAMA of it all. BETRAYAL WITH A KISS. Killing the one person you love more than anyone in the world. This idea of Judas, who is universally seen to be the worst person in the whole entire world, just being so Human and Flawed and wonderfully relatable. Judas' REGRET after the fact when its already too late!!

It's just so !!!!!!!!!!!

There's doomed by the narrative and then there's damned by the narrative.

(somewhere on this app there is a post about how as a kid who grew up Different, seeing monstrous and unloved things makes you go: "but what if I loved them. what if they were secretly good. just misunderstood. what if I gave them a hug." and so maybe there's an element of that in there too)

Marchand's narrative arch needs some violence and some villainy and awfulness and questionable decisions I'm afraid (said with love). It is important to me that Judas' crime occurs AFTER he's gotten to know Jesus. It is not a Part Of His Life Before. One of my favourite things about the Bergeron / Marchand dynamic is that Bergeron sees Marchand exactly for who he is - good and bad - and loves him anyway. He doesn't try to change any part of him. That's love baybey!

Also Marchand fighting anyone who even looks at Bergeron funny?? Where is that post that goes: it my fault my love language is acts of service and all I know how to do is kill?

But ok sorry for rambling. Back to your ask: the retirement point you bring up is something I've been playing with as well. I'll post the first draft of this poetry post because the original poem was actually a LOT MORE BLASPHEMOUS, but it also does a better job explaining the parallels between the narratives..

Full poem can be found here.

It's just.. casting Marchand as Judas and Bergeron as Jesus doesn't just change the way I look at their dynamic, it also changes the way interpret the Bible story. OF COURSE THEY LOVED EACH OTHER. Because look: Bergeron and Marchand love each other.

#Im sorry #you asked about Matthew and I made it about Judas again #BUT THE NARRATIVE!!!!#AND THE POETRY!!!#AND THE ART!!!!#you are right though. Matthew would be a good fit I just love drama #thank you for the ask <3 #it speaks #I should make a judas tag at some point probably #brad marchand #patrice bergeron #tw: blasphemy #judas tag #poetry post meta

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bitchapalooza · 1 year

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I wrote this a while ago as an excersise with only like little intention of posting it. But now y'all can have it. It hasnt been edited in weeks(because I go back to it every so often when Im bored and find more grammer mistakes 💀) so enjoy????

Dear Captain Cyllene,

I am afraid I can not accept your offer at this time or any time going forward. I do appreciate the offer nonetheless. Any opportunity to study pokemon is a good one I say! However, I've too many projects to finish and a family to care for, which takes priority above all. I am deeply sorry, Captain Cyllene.

Professor Blackthorn looked up from his task to the door of his home study, creaking as it opened. In plopped an exasperated man, head immediately going to his hands, letter loosely gripped between the palm and forehead. A fellow man of science, and his former research partner, Professor Edward Laventon. Blackthorn clicked his tongue. "Another rejection, I take it?"

Laventon solemnly nodded.

"Don't worry, old chap! I'm sure someone'll accept your services!" Blackthorn cheered. But Laventon didn't seem to agree. He fell onto the back cushions of the scarlet couch, letting his arms fall to his side as he looked to the ceiling.

"There's no more sense in hoping, I'm afraid," Laventon said, sounding so very defeated. So out of his wits. "I'm a foozler! A meater!" He cried.

Blackthorn rolled his eyes. "I've told you before, Edward. I don't speak whatever language you farmers and poor folk made up."

"I am a klutzy coward, Peter! No one wants that!" Laventon reiterated, bit more bite in his words than he intended.

As the man went into a rambling craze of negativity, Blackthorn glanced at the letter he'd been sent. Captain Cyllene of the fairly new Jubilife Village, Hisui, that's who it was from. She'd requested his help, and many others she mentioned, in a project. Study the pokemon of Hisui in hopes of building a safer, secure future for everyone in the village. An interesting project he'd be sure to love. He had to refuse, however. His oldest was to be wed by next week. His wife was due with their third child in less than a month. He had several research papers to get done, field studies to fulfill and report to the Director as soon as possible, and a whole research novel to finish and publish. His plate was entirely full!

Blackthorn shifted back to Laventon, now pacing across the study as he grumbled. Blackthorn smirked. "Look at you, all in a tizzy and whatnot."

Laventon stopped. Upset was clear on his face. Blackthorn didn't blame him, being unemployed and unable to land a job would make the jolliest of men go sour.

"Of course I'm 'in a tizzy', Peter!" The stress had clearly been weighing down on the man. "I lost my job to the only sponsors who cared to fund my research. I've been rejected seven times now from every small independent scientist around here, so now, I'm pretty damn sure the Director has requested or bribed everyone to blacklist me from their services, managing to reach all the way to the newly discovered Orange Islands of all bloody places! Which, granted, would be my fault for that incredibly idiotic outburst of mine!"

Blackthorn only stared with a calm smile. "Will a liquorice calm you down, my friend?" He says as he offers said sweet.

Laventon rolled his lilac eyes. His tirade seemed to have calmed momentarily as he took the candy and plucked it into his mouth. He wasn't a sweets person, despite how he looks and acts, but every now and then he craved it.

"Good. Now," Blackthorn nodded back to the couch. "Sit. Relax."

"Ed, listen. It's only been two and a half weeks since you'd been fired. Birdy and I have been letting you stay here without pay so you needn't worry about saving so much. And I know you are. You can't fool me. We've known each other for nearly four years now, I think I'd know my best research partner by now!"

"Former research partner."

"Technicalities," Blackthorn waved. "But in all seriousness, Edward. Do you want help? I know you have a hard time asking for it when you really need it. You took my offer to live here. Why can't you accept any other offers of help?"

"Because," Laventon's face was set straight. "I know how to find my own employment."

"Then why haven't you applied to any factories in the city? There is even a new one accepting workers like crazy."

"I'm not an idiot, Peter. The uranium is what's killing people. I mean why do you think your last maid was literally glowing and growing bumps on her skin and then suddenly died on the job? The factories of course! That is where she worked before you employed her. Working in those factories is deadlier than drinking the river water immediatly after someone has shat in it."

"So you've been applying to independent labs— ones that, frankly, do not even deal with the study of pokemon— only to be expectedly saddened by the end result of being totally blown off."

Laventon shrugged. "You summed it up perfectly, actually."

Blackthorn crossed his arms, frustration rising. While being stubborn and stuck in your own way can be a good thing, sometimes it can also be the worst. Laventon hardly ever takes No as an answer. Why he practically bugged the Director into giving him his former job! Then when he got it, he put in request after request for his grant to study and record the pokemon of not just Johto, Alola, but Unova too. After his eighth request for Unova, it was finally accepted. Of course it was cut extremely short and he never started that "poke-dex" of his, but regardless, his persistence really can get him far in life.

Except now that is.

Blackthorn was personally told Laventon had been barred from lab work so long as he resided inside of Galar. It was even extended to Kalos, and to really piss him off, anywhere else the team was stationed or owned by Kalos itself. "He needed to be taught a lesson," many coworkers would justify, but Blackthorn couldn't see it. He did nothing wrong. He just spoke the truth on the wrongdoings of what these foreigners were doing to their land and it's pokemon, something he couldn't do himself. But he wasn't going to tell Laventon this. It would only crush him. To know one was banned from performing his passion in nearly every region that exists, well that's more soul crushing than being rejected over and over again! Or, thats Blackthorn's logic anyway.

"Peter," Laventon's voice dropped. "You think I will ever be able to finish my research? Even from self funding?"

Blackthorn once again looked at the letter on his desk. Then back to his friend. His dream was… A big one. One that needed a lot of money. A lot, a lot of money. And being from the very poor lineage that he's from wouldn't give him any leverage. His old hometown isn't worth the lint in his pocket, really. And his adoptive family, far more wealthier but still fairly poor, wouldn't be of any help either. So realistically, he had no chance unless he found a sponsor. But that was even less likely to happen. Still though. Maybe there is another way…

Blackthorn shrugged. "Perhaps."

Laventon blinked and looked away. He didn't believe in him, that was very clear.

"Right," Laventon clicked his tongue as he rose up from the sofa. "Right, well. I'm going to the pub to meet my brothers then. I'll see you later."

"Of course. Tell David and Quinn I say hello." Laventon hummed his acknowledgement.

Blackthorn dipped his quill into some ink, letting the excess drop back into the glass from which it came. He set back to writing his letter.

If you haven't already, might I recommend Edward Laventon? He's a bright scientist with whom I have closely worked with for several years. He has a few published papers, but I doubt you can find them there. I will attach a portion of his work in this parchment. The good Professor really is up for any task. I implore you to at least consider him. Thank you.

Oh, and please do not let him know I've asked this of you. He doesn't like handouts. A stubborn man, but a good hard worker, I assure you of that!

Professor Peter Moss Blackthorn

Hammerlocke City, Kalos Reaserch and Expedition, Field Search Division.

#pokemon #pokemon fanfiction #pokemon oc #pokemon legends arceus #professor laventon

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disgruntledkittenface · 2 years

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I was tagged by @allwaswell16 and @jacaranda-bloom to share five fics of mine that I really like. Thank you!! I’m pretty decisive, but I agree with Dee, these picks could change depending on the day, mood, etc. But here are the ones I’m going with!

Darling, so it goes (195k)

Harry Styles is a world-famous actor at the height of his career but a personal low point when he meets His Serene Highness Prince Louis of Monaco by chance. He doesn’t think they’ll ever see each other again, but after striking up a correspondence, it turns out they have more in common than he thought. Then they start to fall for each other. Louis is different from anyone Harry has dated before and their relationship moves fast as Harry realizes he’s ready for a change. Soon Harry finds himself adapting to an entirely new life, in a country where he doesn’t know the rules, the customs, even the language. Harry is used to people underestimating him, and he’s more determined than ever to prove them wrong.

He just needs Louis to meet him halfway.

Grace Kelly AU.

Okay, so usually the last thing I wrote is the one I like the most, but this is probably going to be my all-time favorite. This is the fic I have always wanted to write, and I finally got to post after it lived in my mind and my heart for three years. It’s my epic, and I love it. I loved researching it and including all of the details that fascinate me (looking at you, chapter 8). I love the characters (especially Harry’s family), the relationships, the settings, the smut, the fashion. Everything, I just love it. This fic is me.

this is my jam (4k)

Harry goes to a gay bathhouse for the first time. 90s AU.

If you’ve read the author’s note, you know this is based on a story that my friend told me. I wish that I had written it before he passed away, and I just hope wherever he is, he knows how much I love him and how much I miss him everyday. I really like the way I interpreted his experience in the fic; I had to figure out how to capture a specific moment in time and I’m happy with how it turned out. As much as I hated using the AU Historical tag, I came of age in the 90s and I loved writing something set then.

like sun on the rise (8k)

“Sorry,” Nick says at last, a crooked grin replacing her usual friendly, but not too friendly, customer service smile. “It’s my second double this week, so I’m kind of out of it. What can I get you, pretty?”

“No, I know you,” the girl insists, her green eyes wide as she leans over the counter. “I have known you so many times, in so many different forms, in so many different lives.”

“Uh…” Nick blinks, speechless for maybe the first time in her life. The thing is, the girl looks totally sincere. Kind of awestruck really, her pretty pink lips parted slightly as she takes Nick in. Like she can’t believe her luck or something. It’s not Nick’s fault that she has no idea how to act; no one has ever looked at her like this before. “Okay?”

Harry isn’t like anyone Nick has ever met before. Maybe that’s why they work.

I LOVE THIS FIC. I think it’s a little niche (its stats are... not great), but I just really love it. I was inspired by a quote from Megan Fox about Machine Gun Kelly of all things, and I tried to do a vague five times structure with it. I talked about how I’ve tried to grow as a girl direction author on the @roseanddaggerpodcast, and I think this fic really exemplifies that; this is not a gryles fic with just the pronouns switched, it’s really about wlw characters and I’m proud of it.

i must admit i thought i’d like to make you mine (50k)

Louis fell apart when her ex broke up with her and moved across the country. Just as she’s starting to move on, Zayn comes back to town for their mutual friends’ wedding – with a new girlfriend as her plus one.

Blindsided and scrambling to save face, Louis lets herself get talked into a fake relationship with her new friend Harry. Their arrangement makes Louis feel pathetic and embarrassed, but it’s only going to last a few weeks. She just has to get through the wedding – what could happen?

I got writer’s block the first time I tried to write the Grace Kelly AU, so I decided to try and do a long, trope-y girl direction fic for Big Bang that year instead. I did not realize that fake relationship AUs are really hard to write! I finally had to create a spreadsheet to track the character’s emotions and motivations in each scene. But I ended up with a story that I really love, and I like that I contributed a longer fic to the girl direction fandom.

a bagel for all seasons (29k)

Niall is a lawyer from the big city who’s sent to a small town to get paperwork signed for his firm’s biggest client. He only expected to be there for one night, but the longer his stay lasts, the more he starts to fall in love with the town and its cast of quirky characters.

One in particular.

A Shiall Hallmark Christmas AU.

This fic was inspired by a photo of Niall and the tags that @fallinglikethis included when she reblogged it. A Hallmark Christmas Movie esque story just sprang into my mind, almost fully formed. I remember getting stressed out while writing, and spending a lot of time figuring out what legal questions the small town residents could ask Niall, but I reread this one lately and it’s just warm and cozy and FUN. I really liked casting all of the characters, and I think they all really shine (including the cats).

I’ll tag friends for five fics: @crinkle-eyed-boo @wabadabadaba @louandhazaf @kingsofeverything @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

#five fics of mine that i really like #grace kelly au #bathhouse au #gryles soulmate au #f/f fake relationship au #a bagel for all seasons

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