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#the amount of love i have for this british boy is not funny
hakusins · 1 month
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cw // smoking
lazy weekend with the bf
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kiwiana-writes · 10 days
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Fic Pride Friday
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Thank you to the fabulous @rmd-writes for the tag! As always, though, with 239 fanworks on AO3, this is a beast of a task lmfao.
Rules: Post your favourite line or passage from as many of your published works as you’d like. Let yourself feel proud of your creations! Tag as many people as you post snippets, so your fellow fic friends can be proud, too.
This got long (and I'm like... actively trying not to Feel Bad™️ about that), so four fandoms' worth of snippets under the cut!
Tagging: @agame-writes @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @cha-melodius @cricketnationrise
@dumbpeachjuice @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf
@indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @sparklepocalypse @stereopticons @whimsymanaged
And, of course, an open tag to whoever wants to play!
Red White & Royal Blue
What a beautiful tone aka introspective rimming:
Henry has touched Alex in a thousand different ways since he shook the hand of a beautiful boy with a yellow ipê-amarelo in his pocket and fell in love, so he doesn’t quite understand why he’s trembling as he rolls them both until Alex is on his back, hair spread out on the pillow, lips parted slightly and eyes filled with trust as Henry settles on top of him. With his arms bracketing Alex’s shoulders, Henry places a hand on Alex’s jaw and pours all the love and pride that’s been coursing through his veins since Alex delivered his speech into a deep kiss, his tongue running along Alex’s bottom lip, coaxing it further open. The noise Alex makes in response is devastating. He’s a live wire, arching up into Henry’s touch in a way that is somehow both entirely nonsexual and an unbelievable turn on. Alex moves like he’s trying to crawl inside Henry’s skin, letting out soft moans and shivering gasps that burrow their way between Henry’s fourth and fifth ribs and carve out a place for themselves there, somewhere only Alex has ever reached.
All the Lonely Starbucks Lovers, the coffee shop 5+1 where Alex is so hot it very literally makes Henry stupid:
“How can I do you today?” Bollocksing, buggering fuck. Henry’s going to have to migrate to Tristan Da Cunha. Actually, while that’s the most remote place he knows of, he’s also fairly certain they’re a British Overseas Territory and therefore speak English, which isn’t particularly helpful in his current predicament. He’ll brainstorm, though he expects that the long and sordid history of global British colonisation is really not going to be his friend here. Walking Wet Dream blinks slowly—once, twice—before his face splits into a wide grin. “Tempting fucking offer, sweetheart.” A tongue peeks out to wet a pair of plump lips, which only provides Henry with some extremely vivid ideas for what else might look good between those same lips, and oh Christ, if he actually gets hard underneath this hideous apron he’ll have to lock himself in his own basement. The fact that he doesn’t have a basement is immaterial, really.
A Practical Arrangement, the arranged marriage AU -- tbh I'm proud of ALL of Alex's internal narration about Henry in chapter one but this is a particular favourite:
“I thought Windsor valued courtly manners?” Alex grins widely, tampering down a smirk at the way Henry’s ridiculously chiselled jaw twitches, obviously displeased at the way Alex is going off-script. “As your betrothed, surely you should be showering me with compliments as you greet me?” Henry raises an eyebrow, and looks at Alex in a way that makes him suddenly, viscerally aware of the four inches of height Henry has on him. It’s a height difference that has always put Alex on edge; it never used to be the case, Alex is pretty sure from the vague memories he has of them in their younger years, but between one meeting and the next, suddenly Henry was no longer at his eye level. “As soon as I find something to compliment, I assure you I shall do so.” Alex almost laughs; that was funny. Rude and untrue, but funny. It’s a shocking amount of personality for Henry to display. “Back in Texas, they extol my many virtues, Your Royal Highness,” he drawls, pointedly ignoring June’s scoff. “Do you need me to give you a list?” “I’m sure they do,” Henry says gravely, but there’s a flicker of something at the corner of his mouth that could almost be a smirk. There’s a long pause before he adds: “…in Texas.” Alex’s jaw drops before he can stop it. That absolute fucker.
Kinda think that I might be his type, the Alex and Bea fake dating fic that blew up in a way I wasn't expecting but am forever grateful for; I'm proud of this whole damn fic but this line made me get up and walk away from my computer after writing it lmao:
“Don’t worry, though.” He winks at Bea, tampering down a grin at the way she bites her lip as she realises whatever he’s about to say is at serious risk of making her laugh. “We’re not going to wait until I’m out of school to start popping out great-grandbabies for you. I wanna be papi for real, not just to my little honeypot here, if you know what I mean.” The sharp clatter of Mary’s teacup against her saucer thankfully drowns out the choked wheezing sound from Bea’s throat; Alex only risks glancing at Bea for a moment, just enough to realise she’s fighting for her life not to burst out laughing. He’s not sure how much longer he can keep this up before he sounds like he’s reading lines from a terribly scripted and vaguely racist porno.
Puck It, the college hockey AU with my favourite analogy I've ever written:
Alex is aware that he might be bisexual in the same way he’s aware that he might be allergic to cats; there have been a few brief interactions to make him think it’s probably true, but so far it hasn’t had any impact on his life, so he hasn’t really had a reason to look into it and find out for sure. Now, faced with Henry’s clavicle and the sudden, vivid mental image of sinking his teeth into it, he’s not sure how theoretical it is anymore.
Handprints in wet cement, the 5+1 celebration of Henry's Oxford Slut Phase that is just so important to me:
“It’s not.” Alex’s fingers flex a little, digging into Henry’s skin. “It’s— you had all these experiences, and sometimes I can’t believe you want to share them all with me. That you’ll just tell me about them, and if it’s something we’re both into, we can just… go for it. It means a lot. You know that, right?” Henry blinks at him. If he’s honest, he’s never really understood Alex’s eagerness to hear about Henry’s uni hookups; Henry himself, while not bothered by Alex’s own past, has never felt any particular need to seek out stories about it either. He’d just assumed it was another facet of Alex’s insatiable need to understand things; he hadn’t realised it was important.
I've carried this song in my mind, the Arthur-from-beyond-the-grave fic, have one of the many MANY passages that made me cry to write lmfao:
You don’t need to find Orion, Arthur wants to tell him. I’m in every constellation, in your heart, in your soul. I’m here. I’m always here. But Henry can’t hear him.
Schitt's Creek
Wander Where They Will, aka the swans fic:
It felt like only a moment later that something woke him, though the pitch-black room made it obvious it had been several hours since he dozed off. It had been so long since he was in such close proximity to other people that David didn’t realise what he was hearing, at first. The gasp that rang out in the silence made his eyes snap open and his body tense up, and there was a thump and a high-pitched, muffled moan before the realisation slammed into him. He shifted in the bed, trying to block out the sounds out of a sense of… privacy, he supposed, or decorum. That must be why his stomach was clenching, so tight he could barely breathe. Patrick, it seemed, approached lovemaking the way David has seen him approach everything else—quiet, determined, methodical. All the noises coming from their corner of the cottage seemed to be Rachel’s; only a rhythmic panting betrayed Patrick’s part in the process. Even at the end, he barely made a sound. David couldn’t help thinking, as silence filled the cottage and pulled him backwards into sleep, that it was a terrible shame; that everyone deserved the kind of pleasure that rushed through them, untamed and uncontrollable.
Femslash February 2021, where I decided one entry needed to not only be a drabble (100 words exactly) like every other day's prompt, but ALSO a sonnet:
A princess resides in a castle fair Who Stevie beholds when sneaking ashore— With aquamarine eyes and golden hair, She’s all that Stevie is so longing for. If she had legs, or the princess a tail, Perhaps Stevie could be part of her world— But fate's harsh currents their union assails, Separating them with an eddy's whirl. So Stevie lingers, and watches, and dreams About a union between sea and land, Wishing it weren't as complex as it seems For them to lie together on the sand. But unbeknownst, a princess dreams, too— Of a raven-haired mermaid, pure and true.
And all the rest's illusion, the fic where Patrick works through his feelings about the word queer and every single comment made me cry:
And that’s really the crux of the issue, because it’s not that he’s uncomfortable in his sexuality. If he was, that would be easier to explain — right from the start, David never put a label onto him. Patrick was the one who’d whispered I’m gay into the sliver of space between them that night at Stevie’s, and David had just given him the same easy smile and nod that Patrick’s sure he would have received if instead his declaration had been I’m bi or I’m pan or I don’t know right now. His discomfort is more of a nagging, deep-seated fear that he’s not entitled to queer; that because he’s never been called a slur or worried about whether or not it was safe to kiss his partner in public or even come out to his parents, the word isn’t his to reclaim.
I haven't met the new me yet, the fic where I just dragged everyone onto the Jake/Rachel train with me by force, no I don't care that they never met in canon:
Despite herself, her eyes keep finding her way back to one of the pool players. He’s tall and well-built, with a close-cropped beard; he carries himself easily, joking with his friend, the flannel shirt stretching across his back as he lines up his next shot. When he stands up after sinking the ball easily, he turns around too quickly for Rachel to pretend she was looking elsewhere and their eyes meet. The smile he gives her isn’t quite cocky, though it’s close; it’s just confident, and confidence has always done something for her. She smiles back before picking up her beer, draining the last of it and trying not to grin around the neck of the bottle when his eyes drop to her throat as she does. She’d forgotten how good it can feel, to flirt with a stranger across a… okay, this isn’t exactly a crowded room, but still. Across a room. She doesn’t make any secret of watching as the guy and his friend finish up the game, the one she’s watching sinking the black easily with several of the stripes still on the table, and he hands his cue to his friend before striding over to the bar and leaning over to get the bartender’s attention.
Meet me out at the end of my rope, aka angstapalooza. The outline @ships-to-sail gave me for the end of chapter three just read "David leaves after possibly the most tender but heart wrenching kiss they’ve ever had, that’s ever been written, ever, in the history of written kissing" and then I had to... write that???
Patrick puts the box down gently before he holds his hand out. When David places the key in his palm Patrick wraps his fingers around David’s, their palms pressed together. Despite everything, it still feels like coming home; before he quite realises what he’s doing he presses Patrick back into the doorframe, his free hand wrapping around Patrick’s neck as he pours all the emotion swirling around inside him into one final kiss. Patrick, for his part, tugs David in close, his fingers winding through David’s hair as he shakes under David’s touch. When David finally pulls away he can see Patrick’s cheeks are wet with tears, and he knows his are too. He doesn’t know if they’re his own or Patrick’s or both. Patrick stares at him, his tone helpless. “You’re the love of my life, David Rose.” David closes his eyes as his resolve almost breaks. When he opens them again, Patrick’s face is blurry and indistinct in front of him as he tries not to let more tears fall. “No one is ever going to love me the way you did.” The words are choked out, but when Patrick opens his mouth to reply David shakes his head to stop him. “But no one ever lied to me like you did, either.”
How much love will you happily take -- I apparently awakened a humiliation kink in multiple people with this one and I will never not be proud of that 🤣
“No, that’s not— it’s not for lack of trying.” David being so kind about this is making it ten times harder to spit the words out and he drops his gaze, picking at Stevie’s faded bedspread so he doesn’t have to see the look in David’s eyes. He can feel the all-too-familiar crackle of humiliation crawling up his spine, knows his embarrassment is clear on his face, and it makes his throat tighten and his stomach clench and his cock twitch and he hates it, loves it, wants to poke at it like a bruise until it consumes him. “It’s been, um, a size issue?” There’s a beat, and then David is placing a gentle finger under his chin and turning Patrick to face him. His face is warm and open and Patrick likes him so much it’s kind of terrifying; he desperately needs this night not to end up another disaster.  “That,” David says, voice soft, “is only an issue if we make it an issue. And I don’t plan on making it an issue.”
Wearing glass slippers, I got my Chucks, the Stevie/Alexis tattoo/flower shop AU my beloved:
“Did people send you flowers when your aunt passed away?” Alexis asks pointedly.  “Yeah.” She doesn’t say, It was a huge pain in the ass, actually, because I had to throw them all out when they died, but from the look Alexis is giving her at least some of that must show on her face.  “Congratulations and commiserations,” she says slowly. “That’s when everyone wants to give flowers: births, deaths, weddings, anniversaries. It’s like, human nature or whatever. There’s something…” she takes a deep breath. “It’s a sign of trust, I think. To be a tiny part of someone’s biggest moments like that. Even if just from the sidelines.” Stevie has tattooed children’s names and wedding bands, handprints and pawprints and important dates. She’s never thought about it quite like that before. “I get that,” she murmurs. 
Great Acoustics, aka the cast did a Zoom thing in-character during Covid and had a throwaway line to justify David and Patrick not being in the same room and I just entered a fugue state and wrote porn about it in like an hour:
They make it ten days before their first noise complaint, which is frankly about nine days longer than David expected. They’ve been worse than usual, to be fair, with something as simple as a lockable door apparently now an aphrodisiac to both of them. Patrick goes about twelve shades of red when the official notice is pushed under their door, and then the pillow makes a reappearance.  It’s all very fucking hot, actually, seeing buttoned-up, in-control Patrick reduced to a whimpering, begging, uncontrollable mess. Eventually, David manages to convince him that if something must go in his mouth during sex, there are several better options. No, not that. Well, obviously, sometimes that.
A focused moment made, kinkverse part one that I very much intended to be a oneshot lmfao RIP
For a few moments, the only sound is their combined harsh breathing as they recover. Almost before David realises what’s happening he’s being pulled gently to his feet, and then Patrick is framing David’s face in his hands and kissing him soundly. And David’s been kissed a lot during a scene, and a few times before one, but never once has someone kissed him in a sex club after they’ve already come. He lets out a startled but not unhappy yelp and Patrick takes the opportunity to plunge his tongue into David’s now-open mouth, chasing the taste of himself, making them both groan. Finally Patrick releases him with one last, almost chaste, kiss. He drops one hand but leaves the other on David’s cheek, gazing carefully at him, his face soft and open. “I’ve never done that before, with a guy,” Patrick confesses after a moment of silence.  David raises an eyebrow, quirks a lip. “The flogging or the blowjob?” “Uh,” Patrick scratches the back of his head as he flushes slightly. “Both? But also, um.” His eyes flicker down to David’s lips and back up, and David gives a soft little Oh of understanding.  “Baby dom and baby gay, huh?”
Your heart is keeping time with me, the 50 First Dates AU that I think has the best ending I've ever written? So, uh, spoilers-ish, I guess:
This isn’t a romantic comedy. There will be no miraculous, medically impossible recovery. Every morning for the rest of his life, David will wake up and have to be told that he has a husband he doesn’t recognise; a husband who loves him. But after he’s been told, Patrick will set out to prove it to him, with laughter and music and patient understanding. And because love is so much more than conscious memory, David will go to sleep each night in Patrick’s arms, safe and secure and content. Even though it’s not a film or a fairytale, they will still live happily ever after.
Other
We always walked a very thin line, aka the fic I furiously spite-wrote in three hours after watching Happiest Season lmfao:
When they were little, they were convinced if they practised enough they could develop some sort of psychic link; talk to each other over long distances without tying up the phone lines their dads always used for important business calls. They gave up eventually, but Riley finds herself desperately wishing for the talent now. Come on, Harper. Be braver for her than you were for me. “She’s lying!” The words burst hysterically out of Harper’s mouth, and Riley’s heart sinks.
We knew we were the fortunate ones, because obviously I watched episode 3 of The Last Of Us and immediately started writing, what do you take me for?
He knows that the last four years have been kinder to him than to almost anyone else; he also knows that he doesn’t look like those men in the magazines, the ones he used to drive thirty miles out of his way to buy, shoulders hunched and not making eye contact with the store clerk in case he found himself subjected to judgement — or worse, conversation.
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pinkandpurple360 · 4 months
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The character designs of the characters in HB/HH get more and more frustrating and awful the more you know about the actual biblical/mythological characters that they are supposed to be based on.
Paimon’s design is not bad on its own, but knowing that he’s supposed to be PAIMON, the king from the Ars Goetia who is in the text described as being a feminine-presenting man riding a camel. But instead we get another fucking BIRD and it’s just so frustrating.
And he’s related to Stolas?! No where that I’ve read or seen has even hinted at them even being related in the original texts that they’re supposed to be drawing from.
And the Seven Deadly Sins is a whole other basket of issues.
Lucifer doesn’t even look intimidating in the slightest and if you showed me a picture of him and I had no idea of who he was, I wouldn’t even know he was the infamous fallen angel we all know as Lucifer.
Asmodeus reminds me of a pumpkin that someone stuck a bunch of fur onto and then put it all on a body.
Beelzebub isn’t even an INSECT!!! It’s in the NAME, BEE-LZEBUB!!!
And Mammon looks like a knock off Christmas tree. No further comments.
And don’t even get me started on the so-called “Full Demon Forms.”
You cannot convince me that those are good designs when all they do is make them bigger and more fiery. These are supposed to be the living embodiments of sin themselves and they feel so underwhelming.
Its just so frustrating (I’m repeating that word, but it’s the best way I can describe my feelings), because there is so much you can do with the lore of these characters (the original lore not the show lore) and the amount of creativity I’ve seen from other artists (such as Lovesart23) is astounding and wonderful to look at and follow along with.
Really the only nice thing I can say about Stolas is that his full demon form was genuinely cool and it really gave off the vibe that “this is an ancient demon of hell.”
Phhh completely have to agree with you on every possible level
WHY ARE THE MONARCHICAL SINS LESS EVIL THAN THE WORKING CLASS what did Viv mean by this??? Why is Asmodeus an angel ?
And why is Lucifer the definition of defanged, what happened to this
A strict dad with high expectations who doesn’t believe in Charlie’s dreams. I was so ready for that story to be told. And now i feel like he’s a teenager with all of his massive authority just gone? I wonder if he even has a demonic form?
Isn’t it funny that Stolas gets an official demon name, his father who only appears once, gets a demonic name, his ex brother in law who only appears once so far and had no introduction at all, also gets a demonic name, but the Wife and Daughter of stolas, his core story, just get human names???
They chose to make stolas a son of Paimon to retcon him into being Blitzs childhood “friend” and to make it look like he’s just like blitz he has a mean dad too! Blech.
While I love the character “Paimon” I found him funny, charming, and delightfully evil, he could have had any other name and been as good. According to some content he’s actually a shape shifter with many forms, but chose the bird form because stolas is an owl, and that’s why he said “the owl boy” and why Asmodeus calls him “birdy babe” watch stolas have like, elephant and goat brothers and sisters or something next. The Stolas and Stella family is just the avian part of the Ars Goetia apparently? Idk. I’d love to know if Stella has a maiden name. I’m still upset actually that Stella didn’t get a demonic name of her own, neither did Octavia, but Andrealphus, a nothing character, gets an official demon name??? Why not just pick a Goetia name and gender swap it like with Beelzebub and Belphegor??? The sexism is unbelievable. Especially Via what a wasted opportunity.
Making him white and British though..I’d be so mad if I were a Middle Eastern person and saw that be erased, what a joke
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cherylmaso · 1 year
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how to get a grip and write soap non cringeworthy (by a glaswegian lass)
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this may or may not be half a rant. but. okay. okay. i made a post like this before, but i kinda wanted to detail it a little more as i've seen posts like these popping up, but made by english people.
so i'm gonna make one about being scottish for non scots and how to more accurately portray soap as scottish. this is probably mostly aimed at people from tiktok, so feel free to share it around. this is also educational as well as light-hearted and is meant to be taken as such, don't get offended or just be fr
1.) okay, i'm gonna start off by saying... some of these unintentional(or intentional) stereotypes are fucking mind blowing. i'm not one to necessarily get offended by things like this, but i think it's worth mentioning. not all of us play bagpipes, or run around wearing kilts... or - for the love of god - RUN AROUND SCREAMING "SCOTLAND FOREVER." honestly..... it's so odd? i know you would be heavily offended if i called you a fat american, but really what's the difference?
(also the scotland forever is so cringe. i've never in my entire life heard anyone from this country say that)
2.) since i don't think there's any canon of where soap was specifically brought up in scotland(city-wise), i'll have to go off accents and his voice actor for this point. which is alright with me, because scottish accents can be very easily identified.
a lot like the english, scottish people can have MANY varying accents, and a lot of varying phrases. for example, someone down in ayrshire might say "i ken" instead of "i know" whereas people from glasgow usually wouldn't. you catch me?
...now, soap. soap would not go around saying certain phrases. from what i hear, he sounds glaswegian/edinburgh, which is east/west of scotland. the tiniest... TINIEST... bit of research will unveil a plethora of things that people from there would actually say.
aye/yes, naw/no, cannae/cant, could'nae/couldn't, fizzy drink/soda, how/why(this one is weird)..... that's an extremely small portion but you get the point. the scots talk EXTREMELY different than americans do, we have new words for almost everything.
and, before i lose my mind, PLEASE STOP HAVING SOAP REFER TO HIS MOTHER AS MOM. thank you.
3.) the general cringe. i've literally seen people say he would refer to himself as a big scotty boy. no one in scottish history has ever referred to themselves as that unironically. ever. again, circling back to the similarities between the english and scottish, we both have very sarcastic/edgy/cynical humour. ours won't be the same as the americans. our definition of sarcasm differs from yours. headcanons are fine, sometimes, but it's so out of character most of the time if you aren't from the country. bro would NOT spend his free time listening to lana del rey but don't let that stop you from saying he would LMAO
4.) we don't call ourselves british. i mean, some of us do(if yer a bastartin tory x), but most of us will literally get offended if you call us british. we'd all just much rather call ourselves scottish. don't ask me why.
5.) also! please educate yourself on how to properly use scottish slang. the amount of things that just genuinely do not make sense is appalling. it takes two seconds. also my dms are always open... feel free to ask a literal glaswegian lass. context also matters. if you don't know what you mean, just shut the fuck up x
6.) ...he wouldn't be a tory. none of them would be fucking tories. none of them would be sad about the queen. i know americans can't comprehend we don't actually worship the queen in britain, but considering they all probably grew up in some form of poverty or just a bad household, they just wouldn't be tories. or they literally wouldn't care.
7.) props to codie for this point. circling back to the stereotypes, i think it's MENTAL to see what you guys think are "funny" and "relatable" when really, you're absolutely perpetrating harmful scottish stereotypes. ha ha you are so funny when you make jokes about soap being really aggressive and a "gremlin" and an alcoholic and ahahha scotland forever and ahahahha he has bagpipes as his alarm clock... sorry but it's really not as funny as you think it is. like, there's a line and a lot of the time all you cunts online love crossing it with your poorly written headcanons and tiktok videos. i think a lot of you deserve to be told that it's not okay. i know you would all cry if we done the same and also it's just kinda embarrassing
8.) learn our culture but don't forget theres so much more to it. this isn't even primarily about scotland culture but more so british culture as a whole. it's completely different from any other culture and it's also not super hard to do your research. kinda hard to explain if you're not part of it but yk what i mean. sometimes it's obvious to me that you guys don't care to educate yourself and don't care to understand different cultures but i appreciate those that do lol
9.) where soap is from, he wouldn't speak gaelic either. i'm sorry, he just wouldn't. not really a thing in big cities. it's scots he would speak, and there's a difference. don't say they're the same things or you """prefer""" to call gaelic scots. yes someone actually said that LMFAOO. scottish gaelic isn't just saying aye and naw either. jesus fuckign christ x if you don't understand the difference or what you're even saying then just don't say anything LMAO
that's all for now. i'll probably randomly think of other stuff to add, but for now it's currently 5am and i cba. sorry if theres mistakes/typos, again, cba x
also if u get offended u need to get a grip and this is obvs aimed at u. ok have a good day pookie bears xx
(i promise i don't have a problem with americans but it's funny how it's always you guys)
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blues824 · 8 months
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Continuing the TWST Boys Go to Reader's World??? headcanons, can I have the Third Years this time?
Reader is mentioned and only pronouns used are secondary pronouns. The amount of research going into this 😥😥
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Trey Clover
Favorite Country/City: A lot of treats that he makes are from France, so I believe he would love being on the tasting side of the whole ordeal. Plus, candied violets (originally called violettes cristallisees) originate from there as well. As for his favorite city, it’s basic but it’s Paris. It’s the dessert capital of France, so yeah.
Favorite Cuisine/Dish: He is a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to multiple different cuisines, as people from all over have come to his family’s bakery. However, if he had to choose one, it would have to be Spanish cuisine. He just strikes me as the type. French food would come in second, but we are going by entrees and not desserts.
Favorite Drink: I feel like he would be a bit tired of tea, and coffee goes well with a lot of sweets but sometimes he wants something else. So, hot chocolate is a great go-to. Plus, you can spike it with bourbon or rum and many other things, and he prefers bourbon.
Favorite Souvenir: A cognac that he has used to cook multiple different things. He picked it up at a small shop in France, and the brandy is great for making sauces and for deglazing a pan. He rarely drinks it, but it’s of great quality.
Favorite Singers/Songs: He is an old soul, and with that being said, he likes older music. I feel like he would like songs in different languages as well. So, I think he would like the song Nunca es Suficiente, the Natalia Lafourcade version.
Favorite Movie: He doesn’t have a favorite movie, but rather favorite shows. He loves Nailed It!, Zumbo’s Just Desserts, Sugar Rush, but most importantly: The Great British Baking Show.
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Cater Diamond
Favorite Country/City: This guy is hard because he would want to go absolutely everywhere and he would love everywhere he travels to. However, he would say that he loved Japan the most, as the people were very friendly and it was the first time he actually tried hard to learn the language so that he could be respectful.
Favorite Cuisine/Dish: His canonical favorite food is spicy ramen, so I would say Japanese cuisine would be his favorite. But, he has a more diverse taste than just that, so he would probably like Eastern Asian cuisine as a whole. It has a lot of savory and spicy foods that he absolutely loves.
Favorite Drink: He is also a margarita lover, and even though a lot of them are sweet, they are still delicious. However, he orders salt rather than sugar on the rim of the cup because he doesn’t want extra sweetness from sugar.
Favorite Souvenir: He picked up a pair of chopsticks that he always uses. He has finally got chopstick etiquette down, and the set he purchased at a souvenir shop served as a reminder of his hard work.
Favorite Singers/Songs: He is so into both K-Pop and J-Pop that it’s not even funny. He is one of those fans that will tear you up if you didn’t know the words, their meaning, who all the members in the specific group are, etc.
Favorite Movie: I had no idea he was into skateboarding, so I have to say that his favorite movie is Dogtown and Z-Boys. It’s a documentary-type film about the Zephyr skateboard team who helped develop modern skateboarding in the ‘70’s.
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Leona Kingscholar
Favorite Country/City: He is not one to travel voluntarily, so you would have to drag him places. He does want to spoil you, so he will (hesitantly) go along with you. If he had to choose a favorite, it would be Sudan. He doesn’t have a favorite city, but rather a favorite state: the River Nile state. It holds the Meroë Pyramids, and he thought it was pretty cool that Sudan has the most pyramids in the world.
Favorite Cuisine: Pretty far from Sudan, but Argentinian food would be his favorite. They are known for having the best beef, and Leona loves having a good steak. The only downside is that it’s usually served with a few veggies or a chimichurri sauce composed of vegetables.
Favorite Drink: He doesn’t really care, so I would think that he likes beer. He strikes me as the type to have a glass bottle of beer that he holds nearer to his hip; the traditional uncle (Unca) pose.
Favorite Souvenir: When he first went to Sudan, he dressed to fit along with local traditions. He wore a jalabiya in order to maintain modesty, and he actually liked it and hung it in his closet for the next time he visited a country that prefers modesty.
Favorite Singers/Songs: It started as him getting into his edgy phase, but he did not want to go emo. He prefers rock, specifically AC/DC. His favorite song is Highway to Hell.
Favorite Movie: He usually falls asleep during every movie he watches. However, he did like the movie Silence of the Lambs. The way it left him disturbed and on-guard as well as made him want to stay awake is the reason why he would like such a gruesome movie.
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Vil Schoenheit
Favorite Country/City: Cologne, Germany. I’ve always wanted to visit, and it was one of my hyperfixations for a while, but that’s besides the point. The point is that Vil strives for perfection. Part of that is smelling great. Surprise, surprise: cologne originates from Cologne. However, the Cologne Cathedral was beautiful as well.
Favorite Cuisine: I feel like he would like Japanese food as his go-to, as a lot of their food is a lot healthier than others and he strives to be healthy. However, he would like Greek food if he were just going off of personal preference. Briam would probably be his favorite dish.
Favorite Drink: Do smoothies count as food or drinks? People have them for breakfast as they have fruits and veggies, but you ‘drink’ a smoothie. Anyways, his favorite alcoholic drink would be a martini. He is classy and elegant, just like the drink.
Favorite Souvenir: A piece of the Berlin Wall. The history behind it fascinated Vil, and he considers it his most prized souvenir.
Favorite Singers/Songs: Lovefool by Postmodern Jukebox (feat. Haley Reinhart). He heard it from a co-star, and he liked it. Yes, he continues his career in your world.
Favorite Movie: Breakfast at Tiffany’s, as I believe that he loves Audrey Hepburn’s acting in that movie. He also likes Gentlemen Prefer Blondes because of Marilyn Monroe and her iconic character in that movie.
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Rook Hunt
Favorite Country/City: The city of love, the city of lights, Paris. As much as I didn’t want to do such a basic answer, he is a connoisseur of beauty, and Paris at night is a sight to behold. Plus, he speaks French, so why not go to the motherland of the French language?
Favorite Cuisine: His favorite food is canonically liver pâté, so I believe he would love French cuisine the most. However, I would say that Danish cuisine comes second, as they have something similar (a dish that is derived from liver pâté: leverpostej).
Favorite Drink: A French 75 goes a long way with this man. He loves a champagne cocktail. They are typically for celebrations, and Rook just wishes to celebrate life and beauty as a whole. No, he’s not an alcoholic, but when he feels content and exceedingly happy he won’t hesitate in indulging himself with one glass.
Favorite Souvenir: A lavender perfume. He loves how relaxing the smell is.
Favorite Singers/Songs: His favorite song is Love Like You, by Caleb Hyles. Look at the lyrics, and you will see why lol.
Favorite Movie: The Notebook, as it’s a classic film filled with romance. You also cannot tell me that this man is not looking for the Allie to his Noah. He wants a romance story in his life, and that’s why he travels so much.
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Idia Shroud
Favorite Country/City: I can’t decide between Greece and Japan, so I will say that they are tied on Idia’s list. The gamer boy doesn’t really go outside, but when he traveled to these places he absolutely loved it. He’s kind of simple, where he liked the capitals Athens and Tokyo the most.
Favorite Cuisine: His favorite food is just listed as ‘sweets’, and he hates raw fish. We are not going by desserts, but rather overall food, and luckily fish can be replaced by protein alternatives. Plus, the fish can be cooked. That being said, Chinese food would be his favorite. He loves the dragon’s beard candy.
Favorite Drink: He rarely ever drinks alcoholic drinks, as he is already very weak in build (remember his family’s curse?). Adding alcohol to the mix would be a disaster. However, he might like a light beer.
Favorite Souvenir: He likes board games, and while he was in Greece he learned to play Tavli, or Backgammon, and he purchased a board so that he could continue to play it with opponents.
Favorite Singers/Songs: He likes anime intros and outros, and like Cater he is very big on K-Pop and J-Pop, but also C-Pop and T-Pop. His favorite song is 夜に駆ける(Yoru ni Kakeru), by YOASOBI.
Favorite Movie: Your Name, as the two travel just to meet each other, but they have to get used to their new environments first.
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Malleus Draconia
Favorite Country/City: He loves Denmark’s castles, but specifically the Rosenborg Castle in Copenhagen. It houses the Danish Crown Jewels as well as the Coronation Robe, and the history behind each item fascinated the draconian prince. The Notre Dame Cathedral in France comes in second for its gargoyles.
Favorite Cuisine: Again, we go by overall cuisine rather than the desserts (otherwise he would choose the cuisines that contributed to ice cream’s existence). He actually can’t choose a favorite, as all is better than Lilia’s cooking. He does have a least favorite, and it’s modern American food. His favorite type of food is street food, as it really allows him to surround himself with the locals and just be normal.
Favorite Drink: He doesn’t believe alcohol is necessary to have fun, but he will indulge himself from time to time. His favorite is a cocktail called a ‘Corpse Reviver’. It’s a morbid name, but it’s the one thing that magic can’t do. He likes when red food coloring is added, as it makes his tongue red.
Favorite Souvenir: Bro probably has enough money to actually purchase the Danish Crown Jewels as well as the English Crown Jewels tbh. Anyways, he actually treasures a book he picked up called ‘Once Upon a Broken Heart’. He was unaware that it was the first book of a sequel series, so he purchased the rest as well as the original series, ‘Caraval’.
Favorite Singers/Songs: His talent is listed as ‘stringed instruments’, but his relent would go beyond just the typical instruments you think of. Is an electric guitar not a stringed instrument? This man is in a 5 Finger Death Punch phase, favorite song being Wrong Side of Heaven.
Favorite Movie: He loves Sleeping Beauty, mostly because of that scene with Aurora and Prince Phillip where they dance together in the forest. Also, he related to Maleficent because she was not invited to see the princess.
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Lilia Vanrouge
Favorite Country/City: His hobby is traveling alone, and I feel like he wouldn’t have a favorite location. He has been everywhere, and the only place he gravitated towards was Brazil. He went to that year’s Carnaval celebration and he actually really liked it. The parade floats were big and beautiful, there were many lights; it was just fun in general. The city of São Paulo comes to mind, as it’s the biggest city by population.
Favorite Cuisine: Part of why he likes Brazil is the food. Tomatoes originate from South America, and Brazil’s dishes hit different (I don’t think I’ve been to an authentic Brazilian food place, but from what I can see and from what I’ve tasted, I love it).
Favorite Drink: In the Trivia section of his Wiki page, it says that he likes potions that are said to taste bitter by everyone else. That being said, I feel like this would transfer to alcoholic drinks, so his favorite drink might be a negroni. It’s a bit bitter, so it suits his taste.
Favorite Souvenir: He picked up some spices in his travels to “better” his cooking (it didn’t help at all; his cooking still sucks even if he’s seen other people do the dishes he's trying to make).
Favorite Singers/Songs: He is what boomers would call “hip and trendy”, so he likes whatever is popular at the moment. Yes, this includes the meme songs that might go viral on TikTok, Instagram, and YT Shorts. At the time of writing this, his favorite song would be Paint the Town Red, by Doja Cat.
Favorite Movie: He liked the movie Crimson Peak. The costumes as well as the acting were amazing, and he loves learning about the Victorian Era and how both England and the United States were developing during the industrial era.
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arthenaa · 1 year
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It's a Muggle Thing - Sebastian Sallow x Fem! Reader
Plot Summary: Going home for the holidays, the boys decided to come with Nora to her hometown. Sebastian just didn't expect to find an interesting muggle there
content tags: muggle! reader, reader is not mc, silver trio graduated already <3, reader is an artist teehee, hl mc is named nora finley and is a half blood, hl mc grew up in a muggle environment, reader is mc's friend, sebastian and mc are aurors and often partnered up together, ominis is a professor at hogwarts, mc has a romantic fling w poppy sweeting rawr rawr i love them, seb falls too fast, mentions of sex at the end but its not rlly the actual thing haha, she/her pronouns and fem terms are used.
A/N: just imagine seb wearing that suit as an auror. im frothing on the mouth
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"You're taking a leave?"
Sebastian places his hand on his hips as he watches his partner pack up her things for the day. His bestfriend of 7 years, deemed Hero of Hogwarts, and set for an upcoming promotion as Head Auror of the British Ministry of Magic, Nora Finley, looks back at him with a grin.
"Yep. Why are you acting surprised? I told you about this like weeks ago." She chuckles as she closes up her suitcase, propping it up on her desk before turning to him. Sebastian looks at her with a confused look as he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue.
After the eventful days of their years as students in Hogwarts, the two had ended up working as aurors for the ministry. Nora was immediately given a position due to her great efforts in preventing another wizarding war and Sebastian was accepted with his great battle knowledge in the dark arts. Ominis however had opted to remain in the halls of the great castle but now as a professor teaching potions (quite comical actually given that Ominis spent most of his time in potions class fumbling over ingredients and messing up potions as easy as a wiggenweld).
The trio had been doing their best in remaining contact with each other (well more of like trying to stay in contact with Ominis), telling tales about their recent accomplishments, funny stories to share and any other details regarding their lives. Their most recent one being Sebastian and Nora's great accomplishment in capturing yet another dark wizard who had tried to harm numerous muggles. Luckily enough, the situation hadn't exploded enough to obliviate a whole town. Sebastian had been expecting to have a small trio reunion to celebrate the accomplishment but now he's been feeling betrayed that Nora had gone ahead and requested a leave for a week.
"Did you really?" He raised his eyebrow, accusingly. Nora shakes her head in amusement.
"I did, Seb. You were probably too busy flaunting your physique to Yaxley at the ball." She teases as she grabs her case before walking to grab her coat. "I think it's quite adorable when you do that. It's like seeing two tiny tiny crups fighting."
Sebastian blushes before rolling his eyes. He watches Nora grab her coat before putting it on. "What about our celebration? I thought we we're going out for a drink!"
Nora shrugs as she puts it on and fixes her clothes. "Too bad. My mother has been requesting my presence, and this leave is the perfect time for me to visit. You can drink with Ominis, though!"
The brunette strengthened his resolve as he followed the witch out of their office and into the halls of the ministry. "I think this is totally unfair. Ominis was begging in the letters for us to get together! I think he's going bonkers with the amount of time he spends with children."
Nora laughs as she nods at a co-worker who passes by them. "That wasn't what he said, Seb. Ominis will be outraged when he finds out you overexaggerate his letters."
"I overexaggerate his letters because he can't say shit to you. He thinks you'll think of him as weak or something." Sebastian argues as they reach the elevator. Nora pulls out her wand, flicking her wrist as the tip of the wand lights up. She then pulls it away as the doors of the elevator open in front of her.
"I don't think of him as weak. I'd die if I was told to handle first years." She sighs before stepping inside the elevator. The house elf managing the elevator gives her a nod, to which she responds with a nod as well.
"Hello, Hank. Ground floor, please." She replies with a smile. Hank only grunts as he flicks his wand to lead the moving platform. She then turns to Sebastian, who looks at her with a frustrated look. "Please don't make too much trouble while I'm gone, okay?"
The wizard doesn't reply for a moment as he watches the doors close. At the last moment, he squeezes his way through, and Nora lets out a yelp of surprise. "Sebastian what—"
"Let us come with you." He grabs her shoulders. Nora raises her eyebrows in surprise. He takes a breath before glancing at the house elf, who gives him a disappointed tsk. He looks back at Nora, who looks at him expecting. "I mean, me and Ominis talked about learning more about you. You've gone to my house and Ominis basically told you about his family so why not let us come with you?"
Nora stares at him for a while before smiling. "Alright cowboy. Don't regret saying yes to this if things go south alright?"
Well, Sebastian could definitely handle it. He thinks. He knows Nora's mother is a muggle and she spent her young days in a muggle environment. It'll be a culture shock for sure but Anne and him had been somewhat exposed to muggle culture. He had books of muggle authors, tasted some of their sweets and even communicated with them for an investigation.
Surely, this will be a piece of cake.
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"You said what?!"
Ominis yelled to which Sebastian tried to cover his mouth with his hands. The blonde slaps his hands away rather harshly. Sebastian lets out a yelp of pain before biting his lip to avoid attracting more attention. He had apparated to Hogwarts to visit his old friend and inform him of his talk with Nora. The two stood outside the castle where the garden is. He sees some students send a concerned glance at them as they hesitantly greet Ominis who only waves them off with a hand.
"I need you to lower your voice, Ominis." Sebastian murmurs lowly as he slips his hands in the pockets of his coat. Ominis shakes his head as he crosses his arms.
"Why should I do that? I'm a figure of authority here now, Sebastian. We're not students anymore." Ominis retorts.
"I'm not talking about that! I just don't want your students to see me as some guy harassing their professor. As if I don't get any bad reputation at the ministry." He scoffs as he kicks a pebble on the stone steps.
"Maybe they should. You're literally telling me that I have to go on a one week trip when I have priorities to attend to." Ominis glares at the direction of his voice. Sebastian smiles sheepishly. He had said it out of panic. He didn't want to be alone for the week, and he certainly didn't want to come with Nora alone in a muggle environment even though he told himself it would be a piece of cake.
It sucks being a hypocrite.
"C'mon! It's just for a week. Merlin knows you need a break, Professor Gaunt." He nudges Ominis with his elbow playful. The Potions professor scoffs as he moves away from him.
"Your tomfoolery might've worked on me before, but I've matured. My point still stands." Ominis turns his head away as an act of defiance. Sebastian just smiles softly as his friend. He looks more like a kid who doesn't want to take his vegetables.
"I think Mr. Sallow might be correct on this one." A familiar voice had intercepted their conversation. Ominis lets out a sigh as he drops his arms. Sebastian lights up at her entrance.
"Professor Onai." He bows slightly as a sign of respect. The divination professor only raises her hand to stop him.
"Oh no, no. Please, call me Mudiwa. You're not a student anymore, Mr. Sallow." Professor Onai smiles softly. Sebastian nods at her words.
"Then please, Sebastian is fine."
"I overheard the students mentioning a strange man harassing our beloved professor, so I just had to make sure if I needed to do any saving." Mudiwa jokes as she stands between the two. Ominis rolls his eyes.
"No damsel in distress here." Ominis sarcastically replies.
"That I see. It's an overworked one, I do know." Mudiwa glances at Sebastian, who nods in agreement. Ominis shakes his head, sensing the budding cooperation between the teacher and former student.
"I will not let you make Professor Onai your accomplice, Sebastian. I will not be swayed." Ominis's eyebrows furrow in annoyance. Sebastian only grins at this.
"Who said about anyone being an accomplice? I originally came here to tell you that Professor Weasley is granting you a week's leave." Professor Onai pats his shoulder. "She'll be taking over for your classes given that a new teacher for transfiguration has been assigned."
Ominis's face drops at the new information. Sebastian then giggles into his hand. He turns his head fast towards the direction of his voice. "Did you do this?! Did you really have to contact Professor Weasley knowing I wouldn't agree?!"
Sebastian walks down the steps before shrugging his shoulders. "Eh, perks of being her favorite, I guess."
"You little shit."
"That I am!"
Professor Onai only laughs loudly at the interaction.
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The three had apparated to Nora's town much to Ominis's chagrin. After getting smacked in the head multiple times by the young Gaunt, the two had decided that this would be the best time to learn more about their dearest friend, Nora, as well as the muggle community.
Sebastian knows that her closest family knew about her identity as a witch, so it makes Sebastian a little relieved that he wouldn't have to hide his magic, at least inside the comfort of Nora's home.
"We're almost there." Nora says as she leads the three of them through a village. Sebastian glances around, arm intertwined with Ominis, given that he had to hide his wand for now due to muggles. He had his walking stick, but to be honest, using Sebastian as a walker seems much more fun with all the shit he put up with.
Nora then stops at a house with a blue gate before turning to the two and waving them over. She opens it with ease and rushes over to knock on the door. Sebastian pulls Ominis to a stop before dropping his luggage on the ground.
The door opens to reveal an old looking woman who at first squints her eyes before screaming enthusiastically. She pulls Nora into a hug as they jump in each other's arm in joy.
"How wonderful! This is such a pleasant surprise!" The woman or assumed as Mrs. Finley smiles lovingly at her daughter, who holds her hands tightly within hers.
"You know I had to come home, mama." Nora laughs softly before pressing a kiss on her cheek. She then moves to the side to present her companions. "I have guests with me."
"Oh! Come in! We can exchange pleasantries inside. You must be tired from your journey." Mrs. Finley motions for them to come in. Sebastians smiles at the warm greeting as he takes his case and moves inside. Ominis had taken out his wand, knowing that he's safe to use it and walks inside as well.
The auror takes a look around, scanning the interior of his best friend's home. Mrs. Finley excitedly frets over them as she helps them out of their coats and gently moves them to sit on the couch.
"Do tell me about your friends, darling!" She warmly smiles as she sits down on the couch in front of them. Nora laughs at her mother's enthusiasm, and so she introduces the two. Mrs. Finley was a wonderful host. She told stories of Nora when she was young, which the two graciously enjoyed. She talked and asked about the wizarding world and revealed that when she had met Nora's father, who had tragically passed due to his work as an auror that frequents in the front lines, magic was one of the reasons that they had met so she kind of expected that her daughter would one day be exposed to the world of her father. She admits that she's also glad Nora made more friends. The only one she met was her girlfriend, Poppy Sweeting, who had come over once to be introduced. "What an absolute sweetheart," she says.
As Sebastian continues to listen in on the conversation, his eyes glance towards the artwork hanging on the wall, above the couch where Mrs. Finley sat. His curiousity gets the better of him. "The art looks marvelous. Was this curated from a famous muggle artist?"
Mrs. Finley looks back and up at the canvas. Nora answers for her. "Oh, that? That's made by Y/N. A friend of mine."
"Is she a famous muggle artist? What does the artwork look like?" Ominis joins in on the conversation. Sebastians leans close to him to describe the piece. The young Gaunt nods in understanding.
"She is, I believe? She gets her art curated on exhibits." Mrs. Finley smiles proudly. "She's going to be here tomorrow. We have a debut to go to. I hope you brought fancy clothes?"
Ominis purses his lips. "I didn't, but I suppose it's nothing a bit of magic can't fix. A certain someone had me rushing my way over here."
Sebastian coughs into his hand before smiling at Mrs. Finley. "Don't worry, we'll manage."
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The party was loud. Too much even.
This debut that they had gone to was of a daughter of a neighbor close to Nora's family, and apparently, most neighbors in the village were pretty close with one another. Sebastian almost felt out of place if it weren't for Ominis clinging to his arm.
"Stupid walking stick. If only I could just use my wand. Why do I have to suffer this way." Ominis grunts as he taps the floor with the object of his frustrations. Sebastian wraps his arm around his shoulders.
"You have me here. Consider this a once in a lifetime opportunity of making me your personal walker." Sebastian jokes. Ominis smiles at his offer.
"I might just make that permanent from all the headache you gave me."
"Please don't."
"You guys! Stop sulking in the corner and come over here." Nora calls them over as she chats with an unfamiliar face. A pretty unfamiliar face, Sebastian thinks as he moves closer with Ominis in tow. "This is Y/N. I was talking about your art to them last night. They were pretty impressed by it."
Y/N. Y/N. Pretty name.
"I'm Sebastian Sallow. This is Ominis Gaunt." The brunette smiles boyishly as he extends his hand for a handshake. The young woman raises her eyebrows in amusement before shaking her hand as well.
"Didn't know your friends at your new school was this handsome." She teases to which Nora rolls her eyes. Sebastian holds eye contact with her for a few seconds before he looks down at his feet due to nervousness.
"Whatever. Ominis! Come with me. I'm going to give gifts to the debutante." Nora grabs Ominis, who lets himself be dragged across the room.
"Still quite the troublemaker, isn't she?" the artist beside him breaks the silence. He almost ignores her, not believing that the question was directed towards him. He's going dumb.
"Yeah. A pain on the ass sometimes but workable." Sebastian scrunches his nose in contemplation. Y/N laughs.
"What do you do for work, Sebastian?" She asks as she moves closer to him, hand twirling the champagne she's holding.
"... Law .... enforcement?" Sebastian raises his eyebrow as he tries to find a perfect substitution to explain what an auror is. Y/N nods in amusement.
"So a police officer?"
"More like detective, I guess."
"Sexy." Y/N winks as she takes a sip of her drink. "I take that Nora is also in law enforcement? The gal barely tells me anything ever since she transferred. I'd get the truth out someday."
"Good luck with that. Nora is one secretive bastard." Sebastian chuckles as he shoves his hands in his pockets. The woman stares at him for a good moment to which he responds with a raised eyebrow.
"That forward?" He teases. She only rolls her eyes at him.
"I'm just doing things you're scared to do, Mr. Sallow." She purrs before setting her champagne down and moving to the dance floor. "Dance with me!"
Sebastian had never seen someone look and dance so messily but beautiful. Balls like this in the wizarding world were often done in elegance and proper etiquette, but seeing someone let loose and move haphazardly across the dance floor was somewhat comforting and fun to watch to.
"Sebastian!" She giggles. The auror smiles before shuffling towards her. They continue to dance together, riding the rhythm and basking in each other's presence.
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"And... done!"
The artist turns her canvas around to show Sebastian a new art piece she came up with. The two had progressed to a finer level of friendship. He had gained the privilege of seeing her pre-curated work before it would be released to the public. He considers it his greatest achievement for now. He admires the piece before the woman sets it down to dry.
"I'm really actually amazed by how good you are. I suppose I'd want to have one as well." Sebastia ponders off as he crosses his legs on the couch, elbow on his knee, and chin on his palm. "Might look good in my office."
"You'd probably think too much of me if you set it in your office."
Did Sebastian mention they're flirting more now?
He doesn't know what happened, but all he knows is one second he's dancing and the next he's thinking about her day and night.
He has deduced that this woman is amazing.
He fails to notice Y/N pulls out another canvas before she starts painting. He tries to move, but a hand is held up to stop him. "Stop. Don't move."
"... Right." He mumbles as he settles in a comfortable position. He watches her eyes glance up to him as her brush moves elegantly on the canvas.
During his days in Nora's muggle home, he hadn't expected befriending her childhood friend, Y/N Y/L/N, who is gifted in the field of arts. The muggle had been with them ever since the party, and Sebastian thoroughly enjoyed her presence. It seemed that Nora and Ominis caught on as they tried to give you two as much alone time as possible (Ominis would smirk at him and pat his back like a job well a done. Sebastian wishes he could jinx that smirk out of his face).
He learned more about their community as well. It was nice experiencing stuff without magic that can easily be done by it. Mrs. Finley is a sweetheart and have done nothing but be generous towards them. Sebastian supposes this could be the best week of his life.
"Penny, for your thoughts?" A soft voice breaks him out of his reverie. He glances up at Y/N, who had now paused her painting to look at him with a concerned smile.
"Ah, just thinking how much this week has been amazing." He gives her a lopsided smile as he fiddles with his fingers. "This was just decided on a whim. I'm glad I went here."
Y/N nods in understanding before standing up from her position. "Well, if it's worth anything, I'm glad you did. Wouldn't have met such a wondrous subject for a portrait."
Both of them laugh at her teasing. Y/N walks towards him, to which he holds his hand out. The artist grabs his hand and stands in front of him, looking down at him with a soft look.
"Beautiful." Sebastian mutters as he scans her features. "Have I ever told you that?"
She giggles into her hand. "Well, romances don't exactly work that fast within 4 days."
Sebastian shakes his head playfully. "Cheeky."
The muggle leans down to lessen the distance between them. Sebastian falls silent as he now has a front view to the beautiful woman in front of him. His hands sweat with nervousness.
"But I'd like to try it out." She whispers as she sends him a playful grin before tapping his nose with her index finger. Sebastian lets out an amused breath as he watches the artist flutter around in her studio.
She's gonna be the death of him.
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Their joyous one week leave was coming to an end, and Sebastian couldn't help but feel sad about it. He had come to really enjoy his time here, and judging by Ominis's pleased face as he drinks his muggle beer, he too had enjoyed this vacation. Mrs. Finley had suggested having drinks on their final day before they had to depart tomorrow afternoon. A bad decision, really, but who denies that opportunity?
Nursing a beer on his hand, he takes a swig before glancing at Nora who had been reading a letter with a giddy smile. "From Poppy, I assume?"
Nora glances at him with a raised eyebrow. "Mind your business."
"That's not gonna stop me." He leans close to her, trying to get a glimpse of her letter. Nora leans back, shielding it from his curious eyes. "C'mon, what'd it say?"
"She's in America right now." Nora lets out an exasperated sigh. "She got her hands full with a Thunderbird."
Ominis perks up at the mention of the animal. "Ooh, I've always wanted to meet one."
"Being a magizoologist seems quite fun." Sebastian leans back against his chair. "It's the traveling I'm quite jealous of."
"You'd suck as magizoologist. Give it up." Ominis retorts. Sebastian gives him a punch on the shoulder, to which he laughs. The young Gaunt takes a sip of his beer. "This beer is amazing, by the way."
"Right? I'd never get tired of it." Nora smiles as she takes a drink of her own. She then leans forward to give the auror a teasing look. "But now, I'd rather talk about you and Y/N."
At the mention of her muggle friend, Ominis leans forward as well, interested in the conversation. Sebastian grunts in annoyance. "Why should I tell you both shit?"
"Rude. We're your best friends." Nora pouts as she leans her head on Ominis's shoulder.
"She's wonderful, if that's what you're asking." He sighs, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "Quite talented as well."
"Mhm." Nora hums before moving close to loudly whisper in Ominis's ear. "He's got a crush."
"I do not!" Sebastian argues as he smacks Nora's knee. The young witch lets out a loud laugh.
"Wizards who lie end up in Azkaban, Seb."
"I'd get put in Azkaban for killing your smartass, for sure."
"But I know she's your type. I could basically sense the attraction out of you." Ominis teases. Sebastian shakes his head at his best friends, who continue to tease and poke fun of him.
"Sebastian!" A voice calls him over. It's Y/N.
"Your future wife's calling. Better go to her." Nora smacks his back in encouragement. He gives her his beer before flipping her off as he stands up. He then turns to Ominis and verbally communicates his message.
"Fuck you."
"Yeah, yeah."
He runs towards the person of his interests, smiling as she grabs his hand and pulls him to a secluded part of Nora's home. He sees one of her hands tucked behind her.
"What's up?" He smiles. Y/N shyly moves in her spot before biting her lip.
"Remember that portrait I did? Well, I finished it and it's your last day so consider it a gift." She mumbles before moving her hand from her back to reveal a neatly painted piece. He marvels at the work of art, amazed by how similar the portrait is to his face.
"This... This is wonderful, Y/N." He lets out a chuckle of excitement, smile reaching ear to ear. The artist only revels in his enthusiasm. "Thank you."
"No, thank you for being a dear these past few days. I hadn't met someone and hit it off with them that fast." She chuckles. Sebastian looks at her with an unreadable look. "Consider this a memento for our friendship."
"You make it sound like we'd never meet again." He mumbles as he moves close towards her. She raises her chin in amusement.
"Well, will we?" She raises her hands to dust off any lint on his clothes, which was just an excuse to place her hands on his chest.
"I'll make sure of it." Sebastian smiles. "You said you'd try, remember?"
At the repeat of her words, she lets out a giggle. She then leans close to him. "Is it bad to kiss you this early?"
Sebastian's eyes focus on her lips as he pulls her close with his free hand. "Eh, probably."
She grins as she leans closer. "You probably don't care."
"Just shut up and kiss me." He sighs. The young woman laughs before pulling his collar to give him a firm kiss on his lips.
Something so fast had never felt so right. Maybe it's just a muggle thing.
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"5 galleons they're snogging." Ominis takes a drink of his beer. Nora scoffs.
"10 galleons they're fucking." Nora ups her bet. Ominis gives her a look of disgust.
"Too crass, Nora."
"Yeah, well, I'd like to get my 10 galleons soon. I'd bet my fucking life Sebastian will get fucked." She smirks into her drink.
"You're disgusting."
"Thanks, I take pride in it."
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A/N: anotha one. SORRY FOR THE LATE POST. i said id post 2 fics but this took longer than i expected. not too proud of this one but it's okay i guess. THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON MY PAST FEW WORKS <333 didnt think it would blow up. have a great day yall!!
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fandomhop · 11 months
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hello friend, what is fable? you seem to like it a lot and i gotta be honest i dont know the first thing about it. now,, i COULD ask google but i think that you could explain it better mhm mhm
[Oh boy! /affectionate]
[So, in a general, overall statement, Fable is a series of games from the 2000's-2010's. It's a quintessential bit of adventure fantasy, and totally progressive of its time.]
[Fable, as a whole, is about making your own sort of path within the story, and having your actions reflected on the world and yourself. It has a cool morality morphing system where, when you do something good or bad, not only does it affect the funny lil' NPCs around you, but it also reflects on your body. Do enough good actions, your complexion becomes glowing and you have a halo, do enough bad and you become more demonic looking.]
[There's actually both a deep and semi-shallow amount of lore. The first game was deffo built upon the bending and twisting of stories and folklore- you know, fables- and the games after followed along centuries after that, showing a world trying to grow past it's story built roots, but not being completely rid of them, even as technology grows and advances.]
[It's also British as hell. But, like, in a fun way! There's a fun and wonderful mix of light and darkness, sincerity and satire, sadness and humour. There's these beasties called Hobbes that are these sorta ugly things that act silly in and out of combat, but they also eat human flesh and are rumored to turn children into them. Some of them turn into kamikazes and they like teddy bears.]
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[Also you can kick chickens (they're fine, don't worry about it, they have reinforced feathers)]
[Your character is a Hero (with the capital H), a person who is born to be able to deal with the struggles of protecting or commanding respect of the common man. You can wield and utilize Strength, Skill and Will, the trio of combat skills. The combat is a bit simple, but it's also fun and easy to get into. You can also upgrade with experience points to get better with your weapons and will powers.]
[I think the story, world, and characters of Fable: The Lost Chapters are extremely iconic, but the character building and development starts to really shine in the later games. All the games have wonderful setting appearance, though. Looking at pictures of Fable are these beautiful settings and desktop/screen background worthy scenes. The people look a bit silly, though.]
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[Also? This game series is also progressive bc of its LGBT+ rep. The first game got called out for letting the male only player Hero marry a man, so the next game include bisexuals. Fable 3 lets you adopt children, regardless of your spouse's gender. There's a potion that lets you trans your gender (available only once in a quest after the main quest) and no one bats an eye to it (if you have a straight spouse, they won't immediately divorce you as long as you treat them well, but they won't have sex either.) There's a quest where you help out a guy find a suitor who is secretly gay, and the end of the quest is him coming out to his dad and being accepted. You can wear clothes of either gender, and get tattoos, hair, and facial hair regardless of your sex. (there is a cross-dressing statistic, but the Brits love a bit of cross-dressing humour.)]
[Now, I will not lie and say that they are perfect games, there are some flaws with them, and Fable 3 gets a bit of a bad rap for it's heavy streamlining, but I can genuinely say that these games are cherished a lot. Fable 2 is my go-to favourite game ever, and every once and a blue moon, I will be revitalized with a longing for the series. If you wanna get into it, I think it's a fun time for an old-ish game, and I really hope the new one that's coming out in {*looks at wrist*} the-yet-to-be-announced-future will be as cherishable, even if it's slightly different.]
[Also? Like, every time I (re)enter an interest/fixation, I make a little Fable AU in my head to consider what kind of heroes the characters might be.]
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randomvarious · 3 months
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Today's compilation:
Arista's Greatest Hits - Portrait of a Decade (1975-1985): Pop 1985 Pop / Singer-Songwriter / Soft Rock / Adult Contemporary
The New York-based Arista label, which was founded by famed record exec and producer Clive Davis in late 1974, pretty much always had a diverse roster throughout its original existence, with signings that ranged from Lou Reed and the Grateful Dead to Aretha Franklin and Whitney Houston. But one particular type of tune within the contemporary pop music landscape that they seemed to excel at especially within their first decade of operation was those big and belty, middle-of-the-road, orchestral ballads; love songs that consistently employed a tried and true formula of starting out softly and then proceeded to crescendo and climax with an epically lush and loud, theatrical bang, and almost always incorporated some kind of combination of piano and strings too.
And while this little, celebratory showcase of Arista's own pop acumen here doesn't solely consist of that specific type of song, it nevertheless still contains a considerable amount of it.
Now, the undisputed king of this whole sound was none other than Jim Steinman. Not only was this guy responsible for composing all of the music on Meat Loaf's beloved landmark Bat Out of Hell LP, as well as its follow-up, Dead Ringer, but he also wrote and produced what was probably this style's entire pinnacle too, Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." And the funny thing about that massive hit is that when it came time for Meat Loaf's next album after Dead Ringer in 1983, one of the songs that Steinman had originally given him was indeed "Total Eclipse." And another one was "Making Love Out of Nothing at All." But at that point, it seemed that Steinman and Meat Loaf were starting to butt heads a bit, and Meat Loaf's label didn't want him working with Steinman anymore either, so Steinman took those songs and gave them to other artists.
And "Making Love Out of Nothing at All" landed with British-Australian vocal pop and soft rock duo Air Supply, who had been on Arista since 1980. These guys had racked up a bunch of huge US hits throughout the late 70s and early 80s, including "All Out of Love," which also appears on this comp, but their final top-tenner was this tune, managing to reach #2 in '83 for three consecutive weeks. And guess which song it was that then kept it from inevitably reaching that coveted #1 spot? Motherfucking "Total Eclipse of the Heart"! Crazy, right? Such a wave that Steinman was riding there, and what a fumble by Meat Loaf and co. too! 🌊🥴
But while "Making Love Out of Nothing at All" is the only actual Steinman-penned bop to make it onto this record, there are others that are in that same mold too, namely Barry Manilow's "I Write the Songs," which he didn't actually write, because the original version had been written by Beach Boy Bruce Johnston and was released by both Captain & Tennille and David Cassidy before Manilow put out his own chart-topping rendition about six months after theirs; and Eric Carmen's big solo breakout, "All by Myself," which incorporated the work of classical composer Rachmaninoff and took its chorus from another song that Carmen had written and recorded with his band, The Raspberries, a few years prior.
So, a bunch of classy and classic pop ballads here from Arista, and a really good exhibition if you're particularly fond of stuff that follows in the footsteps of a more traditional style of pop songcraft that put a premium on grandiosity. Middle of the road 70s and 80s pop definitely isn't always my bag, but some of these showier tunes are undeniably very well made and still have a capacity to impress, despite how utterly sappy and depersonalized some of them can sometimes simultaneously feel as well.
Highlights:
Barry Manilow - "Mandy" Barry Manilow - "I Write the Songs" Eric Carmen - "All By Myself" Air Supply - "All Out of Love" Gino Vannelli - "Living Inside Myself" The Alan Parsons Project - "Eye in the Sky" Dionne Warwick - "Heartbreaker" Air Supply - "Making Love Out of Nothing at All"
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Teal Deer: I’m reviewing every historical romance author I’ve read in 2023 so that I can get recommendations.
Never Again:
Amelia Gray - I’ve got zero time for this conservative pick-me-girl bullshit. The male protagonist actually said, “I like a girl with spirit.” You can’t have your protagonist saying the villain line, that’s gross. This shit is for my amusement. If I can tell how you vote by how you write, you’ve got to be voting like me. Did not finish. 
Jillian Hunter - I just can’t care about these assholes. The men are loud, boorish, selfish, clueless. They are a frat boy stereotype dressed in Regency clothes. I don’t remember the female protagonists, I read her a month ago. That’s pretty forgettable. 
Maya Rodale - I don’t mind a little pop culture reference, here and there. However, writing a book that pulls *heavily* from Bridget Jones’ Diary (which is already referencing Pride & Prejudice) and Mean Girls? Really? When I saw the line, “On Wednesdays we wear pink” I threw the book across the room. I like light, effervescent, and fun, but this was dumb. 
Elizabeth Hoyt - Grimdark as historical romance? Nah. If you show me a dark, brooding, bad man as the male protagonist, I’m not going to swoon guys. I find that shit exhausting. “I’m so evil, and a little mean” ok, well I’m bored. I will never find a Pure Woman’s Love Redeeming A Piece Of Shit Dude even a little compelling. Babygirl, he isn’t worth *that* amount of labor. 
Rachael Miles - too boring to finish, too boring to remember. 
Sabrina Jeffries - Her series have a mystery at the heart of them. You learn a little more about the mystery in each book in the series. Unlike Lady Sherlock, which is a Mystery series written by a Romance author, these are romances that have an element of mystery. She can’t always keep my attention. The juxtaposition of light-hearted romance and gritty mystery doesn’t always work. Her characters also run a bit immature. Actually after reading what I wrote, maybe she has disappointed me one too many times. 
Eva Leigh - too boring to finish, too boring to remember.
Undecided:
Jayne Fraiser - Um… the story was alright. It was a little too focused on just the protagonists, the families and friendships are the reason I read these books. To not have many fleshed out characters was disappointing. Also, if you are going to have your protagonist have a career or a hobby, you have to know enough about that career or hobby. The book I read the female protagonist was a modiste. Y’all? I’ve read a fuck ton of these books and I have a degree in history and my history degree is mainly British history. She did not do enough research. That really does count against her. 
Minerva Spencer - Witty. Constantly, exhaustingly witty. Your characters don’t need to cut up at each other all of the time. 
Amalie Howard - I did enjoy this book. But. The characters and the slang are too modern. Progressive is fine. Actually, it is kind of necessary for me. To ignore the milieu, the culture, for the story doesn’t work for me. You cannot tell me that this Not Like Other Girls girl also gets zero flack for not being like other girls. It felt like there should be cell phones and social media and that is not what I’m looking for in a historical romance. 
Olivia Waite - Loved it. But I’ve only read one. I need more information before I can make a determination. As an aside; I skim the sex scenes, they are usually more funny than hot. I want to know if they do/say/feel anything germane to the story while they do the deed. Um, The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics has some hot scenes. Sophie Irwin - Have only read one. It was good though. The female protagonist is pragmatic and flinty, I enjoyed that. Will have to read a couple more before I can truly determine the ranking
Christina Dodd - She has flashes of good writing. However, I’ve read 3 of them and her male protagonists are interchangeable and so are the female protagonists. All the dudes are high-handed, imperious assholes and all the ladies are *so conflicted* Also, not enough showing us who the characters are. Those flashes of good writing are tempting but…. The downsides are pretty down. 
Shows Promise:
Johanna Lowell - If she fulfills her potential, she will be legend. She has something that not many authors have. How did they get so much story in so few pages?  Terry Pratchett has it. Eloisa James has it. Looking forward to the next one, I really hope it is as good as the 2 I’ve read. 
KJ Charles - Charming. Witty. There is often a mystery contained within the romance. Charles was the first m/m romance I’d ever read. It does approach sex differently than the m/f or w/w romances I’ve read. I was a little shocked at the pacing and the lack of tenderness. The only author that isn’t shelved in Erotica as opposed to romance that Charles reminds me of, is Susan Johnson. Her sex scenes also give me the same kind of whiplash. The story outside of the sex is amazing though. It is really taut, it feels more like mystery than romance. 
Emily Sullivan - She is another author that, if she lives up to her potential, will be amazing. I’ve read 2 and I can’t wait for the third. The characters came alive on the page. She shows the realistic conflict of being progressive in the Victorian era. She doesn’t pretend that things were better than they were. But she also doesn’t feel bitter and hopeless. (one of the reasons it would be very hard for me to write a historical romance is because I wouldn’t be able to have the optimism about the future that the characters do)
Cat Sebastian - I loved one! And I didn’t finish the other. Really, I just need to start another and see where it goes. Their m/m romance was so good. (and had some tenderness, that was missing with KJ Charles)
I Enjoy Them But….
Elizabeth Boyle - She can be amazing, but she isn’t always. She has maybe 4 books that are chef’s kiss no notes good. The rest of them need some notes. There are a few phrases she beats like a dead horse. I understand that language amongst the upper ten thousand was very homogeneous, but not all of your characters should have the same phrases and cadences. Her characters also run a bit immature. 
Kiernan Kramer - She is hit and miss. More hits than misses. The spying for the Home Office plotlines are fun, very fun, not at all believable. Which is fine. I don’t need it to get dark. It is something to keep in mind though because the cavalier way they are doing intelligence work would drive me insane in a more serious genre. These are light and fluffy and fun, she has never made me cry, but she has made me laugh. 
Julia Quinn - this one is gonna be controversial. She is a hits and misses author though, no matter how popular she is. The Duke & I has an infamous scene that makes me rageful. I wish they would just communicate, sex and procreation are BOTH things that have to be consented to. When she is good, oh my word, she is so good. When she is bad, she is boring. (or in that specific instance, offensive) There are books of hers I would highly recommend, but she doesn’t have an entire series that I can recommend. And that is what takes her off of Legend. I want the whole series to be worth recommending and worth re-reading. 
Julie Ann Long - She’s darling. Her books are so cute. They’re practically YA, except they absolutely have semi-graphic sex scenes. There is supposed to be Danger and Adventure, but I just think everyone is so adorable. I’m not sure I’m supposed to though. They aren’t very deep. They give me zero anxiety. I can’t remember any of her characters making me angry, maybe exasperated. Even the books I adore have characters I want to shake until their teeth rattle. Honestly having a good hateable character is key. 
Victoria Alexander - Sometimes she’s charming. Occasionally she has a female protagonist who has not figured out that Independent Woman does not have to equal I Need No One! And that’s exhausting. Sometimes her male protagonists are a bit… dumb. A little dumb and a little ineffectual. Look, I’ve read other authors writing less than brilliant protagonists both male and female. It doesn’t usually feel like a dig. I just want her to expand her idea of what women might find empowering. I don’t need the men in my life to be less than me. 
Liz Carlyle - Good character development. High drama. All the characters are so reactive. Fun to read, but I’m very happy that it isn't my life or my romantic relationship. She has had a few male characters who I just could not hang with. All romances will make you want to shake the protagonists and yell, “just fucking truthfully communicate!” Liz Carlyle has that in spades. You might stroke out from frustration with all the lying and secret keeping. 
Erica Ridley - I’ve only read The Wild Winchesters series. It’s really fucking good though. One of the books in the series is a sapphic love story. I’d love to put her on top tier or legendary status, I just haven’t read enough books by her to know if she is consistent in this kind of quality. 
Evie Dunsmore - I’ve read the 3 books she has published, and I have enjoyed all of them. The characters are complex. There is so much more than just a romance going on. I appreciate a well done subplot. I do expect to reread her. She has the hallmarks of my favorite romance authors; complex characters, the characters have an/a estate/career/hobby/passion, there are subplots, the friendships are almost as fleshed out as the romantic relationship. 
Vivienne Lorret - Light, good, fun, strains my suspension of disbelief at times (yes, even more than usual). I’ve read about 8 or so, they’re like m&ms. I’ve only given up on one of them, those aren’t awful odds actually. Great friendships and sisterhoods. She is another author that feels a little YA other than the graphic sex. 
Mimi Matthews - Lots of promise. Her research does need to get a little tighter, making a historical error really will pull me out of a book. She has not done anything as off-putting as the book that had the egregious error of having Bonnie Prince Charlie in the wrong century, but this is not the genre to write in if you aren’t going to get the details right. Her characters are charming! Her friendships are well-written. There is a lot of potential, the books I’ve read were really good. I just want a little more, something isn’t quite hitting.
Top-Shelf:
Sherry Thomas - Okay, to be fair, I haven’t read any of her romance novels this year. I’ve read her mysteries. She was a romance author first though so I’m including her anyway. The Lady Sherlock series  is the best mystery series I have ever read. And I love a good mystery; historical mysteries, cozy mysteries, I like them. Reading a mystery that was written by a romance author made a perfect pairing. I get all the details about the clothes, food, friendships, gossip, and I get an intelligent mystery along with it! Heaven. I have read her romances but it has been a minute. Go read the Lady Sherlock series, immediately. 
Sarah MacLean - Oh Damn. She is on her way to Legend status. Seriously. No notes. Her legendary status really is just a matter of time. She has been publishing since 2009, I have yet to read a book by her that wasn’t top shelf goods. Now I haven’t read her YA, she does write both. Her books intended for adults do not remind me of  YA. There is a fair amount of darkness. The graphic is pretty graphic. 9 Rules to Break is one of my favorite romance novels of all time.
Lisa Kleypas - See, this breaks my heart a little. If it weren’t for her first few books, Lisa Kleypas would be up on Legend. Those first couple books have genuinely repulsive male leads though. I stopped reading one of them on the fifth page, I was appalled. (I do not need the protagonists to be someone I would be interested in. I do need them to be someone I’d trust with an uncovered drink though). HOWEVER, starting at Again The Magic published in 2004, she has not had a miss. Genuinely she is one of the best! It just took her a decade of publishing to hit her stride. 
LEGENDARY:
Loretta Chase - one of 2 authors that I will read what they published before 1999. Look, when it comes to consent if it is not a “Hell Yes!” it is a “Fuck NO!” if the protagonists aren’t being crystal clear about consent that does not fucking appeal to me. Loretta does not ever have a problem with her male protagonists blowing past consent. That is really important to me. Loretta Chase has likable characters. She can make a character who I would hate in real life and make them an appealing person. I would never want to date any of these characters, but I’d love to be friends with them. Her Dressmakers series is the best example of a realistic idea of what would happen were someone in trade to marry into the upper classes. I’m a huge fan of the Fallen Women duo because of course I am. Her adventures genuinely feel like adventure, some romance authors never quite manage to get the light and dark to balance, Chase does so well at it. She has variety, some authors write the same couple every damn time just giving them different names. That is not a problem here. 
Jo Beverley - The other romance writer that I will read what she wrote before 1999. When it comes to action adventure, James Patterson has nothing on Jo Beverley. I have read every single book in The Malloren World, Company of Rogues, and Three Heroes at least 3 times. Three Heroes and Company of Rogues are linked. The villains are bad to the bone and scary believable. Actually that is why I rarely recommend her to others. Almost all romances will have a trauma to make the character more complex and deeper and such, most of that happens before the book starts. The characters' behaviors and motivations are informed by their trauma. In Jo Beverley books you might be there for the traumatic event. I love having action adventure where I get to know what people are wearing, and eating, and gossiping about. A lot of action adventure is really boring because it is all a lone man up against…. whatever, he is already boring me. In Jo Bev books there are often several people working together, women and men, to fight the good fight and I find that far more compelling. Again, I don’t want to be in any of these tumultuous relationships where the ladies are high spirited and the men are high handed, but damn are they fun to read. I do love these books so fucking much! They are well written, witty, smart, complex, fun, funny, but unless you can handle murder and sexual assault as plot elements I would not recommend them. There are other traumas too, but if you can handle the biggies, I’m not worried about the lesser traumas. Again, she is one of the best, she is one of my favorites, I hope if you read her you love her too. Just head’s up and be aware. 
Mary Balogh - the Queen of hobbit romances! Hobbit romances is a phrase Nathan came up with when I told him some of my favorite romances don’t have a big blow up of a conflict, they have people getting to know one another and figuring out how or if they fit in each others lives, there is usually like hurt feelings and miscommunication but no major dust ups between the protagonists. The trauma is usually something from outside and they face it together. These are my favorite kind of romances, they are the only ones where I maybe… might… put myself in the shoes of the protagonists. When I read I like to be an invisible demigod that is experiencing the story but not participating. Just like almost everything I prefer observation to participation. But the hobbit romances, those I might dip my toe in for.  Not all of her romances are hobbit romances, but most of them are. Her characters are more fully realized than the top of  Maslow’s hierarchy ok? I know them better than I know several of you. I could go gift shopping for these characters, I know them that well. Mary Balogh is a damn genius at fully fleshed out and perfectly formed characters. Her families are my families. I would (and did) start at One Night for Love published in 1999. The Bedwyns, the Dudleys, the Huxtables, the Westcotts, I love these families! They provide all the positive family feels without y’know actually having to interact with family. I also adore the simply series that is four teachers and friends who work together all finding love. I LOVE the Survivor’s Club!! I thought I was going to have to opt out because of my own PTSD issues but no. These are powerful moving books but they do deal with warfare and the aftermath. They weren’t easy to read, and I know this is weird to say about a romance series, but I think it helped me get past some of my own shit. It was hugely cathartic. Vincent and Sophia in The Arrangement, oh that might be one of the best books I’ve ever read. Not just one of the best romances, one of the best books. Mary Balogh is the Queen of hobbit romances and we LOVE her for that. 
Best In Show: Eloisa James
Look, if Mary is a Queen, Eloisa is a Goddess. I own a physical copy of every Eloisa James book. I mainly read historical romance, and I love it. I don’t own physical copies of any other romance author’s books. (I’d like all of my legends, but I made a point to make sure I had Eloisa) I’ve given away so many Eloisa James books. I made her a favorite author when I worked at the book exchange. No one writes like her. I love her characters more, I hate her characters more. She gets so much story into so few pages! She gets more out of me than other authors do. I’m more invested in her stories, I feel them deeper. My very favorite romance ever is between two of her characters, but they don’t have their own book, their story is told as a subplot to the books in her Duchess In Love series. Sebastian and Esmee is my favorite love story and I’m not even sure why, I’ve nothing in common with either character, but I adore their story. (damn, I might have to reread that series.) One of my favorite characters ever is in The Wildes of Lindlow Castle series. Lady Knowe, the Duke of Lindlow's twin sister. She is the maternal presence in the series, but she is not a mother. She is fascinating, she helps her twin run his estate, she is unconventional, but she knows what convention dictates and stays within the appearance of propriety most of the time. One of my favorites characters of all time, I want to be like her when I grow up. Eloisa James has the dubious honor of writing the only female protagonist that has made me seeing red mad at her. Don’t get me wrong, lots of the ladies make me super exasperated. But this was more Bloody Enraged. I think it is the mark of a damn good writer if she can get you seething foaming at the mouth angry at a figment of their imagination. Her side characters are so well fleshed out you guys! There is not one boring character. Reading her books is like being possessed in the best possible way.
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murdrdocs · 2 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/murdrdocs/744951413854109696/no-because-coriolanus-really-is-the-type-of-boy
Sometimes I forget that not everyone is British and the little sayings that we have aren’t known everywhere, the amount of times I say this a day is mad 😭😭😭
I love them
i understood it immediately tho. i think the american equivalent would be off his rocker ??? which is equally as funny. anyway plz keep using british phrases in my inbox they’re so fun
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arina-nov-talking · 1 year
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Sealand! 🐒🎨🗺️🍽️
Thanks anon for the question! Time for headcannons about Sealand!
🐒 - What’s their favorite animal?
It won't be obvious, but Sealand loves guinea pigs. They are round, fluffy and very sociable! In fact, they are very tactile animals and they like to live next to a person, and Peter takes his pet for walks around the house or in the garden, so that he would chew fresh vegetables. Sometimes a rodent gets out of its enclosure and jumps right onto the boy's bed to stay under the blanket or chew on the fingers of a micronation, in fact it tickles and Peter is glad that he is woken up like that.
Guinea pigs are also therapeutic animals and often contribute to causing joy in children who are undergoing therapy. Probably during the period of socialization and stay in the clinic (this will be found out later), he often came into contact with these animals and is glad to have one of them.
+ His pig is called Rough, in honor of the Sealand Tower!
🗺️ - What languages do they speak?
English, a little Swedish and German. He taught the latter during the war, so that if he went ashore and was captured, he could be counted as a boy taken out of Germany and released or taken away. In theory, it should have worked.
🎨 - What’s their favorite color?
Red and blue! Blue because of the sea surrounding his fort, and red as his national color!
🍽️ - What’s their favorite food?
The national dish of Sealand is spaghetti! In fact, this is a real fact and I find it funny. He would certainly like this dish, whether it was with an obscenely huge amount of cheese, or delicious gravy.
But chocolate is still the absolute favorite. He loves all kinds of it, with and without additives, and when he visits Sweden on trips to international meetings, he buys himself some special chocolate as a souvenir. I've seen a French stamp with amazing wrappers, so it could be a great souvenir! Chocolate was also included in the British dry rations of the navy and infantry! It wasn't exactly chocolate, but a mass with powdered milk and vitamins so that at the expense of one chocolate bar you could work all day, but it was the first treat in Peter's life. Although having tried ordinary chocolate, Sealand considers "military" chocolate to be something tasteless
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chuthulhu-reads · 10 months
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[ID: The covers of two Christopher Brookmyre books, The Sacred Art of Stealing and A Snowball In Hell. End ID.]
One of these days I need to get A Big Boy Did It And Ran Away so I can reread the whole trilogy together, but when I first started buying my own I got these two quickly because I adore Angelique de Xavia and I ESPECIALLY adore her relationship with the artistic thief Zal Innez (if you were as obsessed with the Kaitou Kid as I was as a teenager, he's an easy character to love :v). Much like Discworld books, I often find new jokes to laugh at and themes to think about when rereading Brookmyre books, and this time I wound up thinking a lot about Angelique and Zal's exchanges about belonging. They both have complicated relationships with Scottishness; Angelique is the Glaswegian-born daughter of Ugandan refugees, "the only brown face in a sea of white" as she describes her position at school, at Rangers games, and in the police force. She's extremely Glaswegian in her outlook, humour and defiant bullets-bounce-off attitude, and yet often feels unentitled to Scottishness, which makes her wave her Rangers scarf all the more defiantly. Zal, meanwhile, was born in the US to a Scottish emigrant father who so loved and missed his hometown that he threw a massive party for a Rangers victory that none of his neighbours understood (but attended anyway because hey, free barbeque!), and almost idealizes Glasgow, describing it at one point as "a theme park to his father's memory". They're both coming at the same city from very different perspectives, but at the same time they both feel both belonging and not-belonging to Scotland and Scottishness, and learning to navigate that feeling of belonging/not-belonging in different areas of their lives is one of the things they first bond over while being on opposite sides of a bank robbery investigation. Both also spend a lot of time dealing with whiny, entitled, glory-thieving little shits in both the police and criminal worlds, share artistic tastes, and have similar senses of justice, which helps you really buy the quick, intense connection that forms between them (which is probably helped along by how incredibly horny they are for each other, emotionally and physically)
The robbery itself, in The Sacred Art of Stealing, is so much goddamn fun that I'm SEVERELY mad that there isn't already a film of this book, though possibly any chance of that happening is undermined by the fact that a large amount of plot in the second half revolves around a deliberately provocative statue of a man sucking his own willy. There's also the major character with multiple internal monologues about how much he loves the economic and social simplicity of paying for a blowjob, which you could easily cut out of a filmed adaptation, but damned if they aren't funny as fuck most of the time. I feel like they'd wind up cutting a lot of the banter between Zal and his buddies Leo, Jerome and Karl, too, which would be just such a goddamn shame.
"I'm not touching him. If anyone helps him, it should be Jerome. He's the expert at putting hands on pricks." "It's a shame your sister ain't here, Leo. I don't know if she's much of a nurse, but it'd probably make him feel better to be in the company of someone who goes down faster than he just did." And so on.
(They are best friends and would die for each other.)
There might be a slightly better chance for A Snowball In Hell, though I feel like you really do need to read the first two parts of the Angel X trilogy first to well establish Angelique, Zal, and the terrorist Simon Darcourt, who is so far up himself that he's brushing his teeth from the inside. It's a frankly much-needed evisceration of British media behaviour via the very non-metaphorical evisceration of fictional British media personalities and is arguably one of the gorier books Brookmyre's written, though he's pretty talented at describing gore by not describing it in a way that gives your imagination a lot to work with. (There's a scene involving Darcourt putting some arms industry execs up close and personal with their own hardware that's honestly pretty satisfying and probably impossible to put onscreen without being ludicrously gory, but is very entertainingly described.)
It's such a delight to read the sections about Zal working with the aging, arthritic magician Dan Morrit, helping him revive his show and Zal really loving what he's doing for the first time in his life. If you like stage magic, you'll love Zal; If you like hypercompetent wee wimmin who are better than literally everyone they talk to learning to process Emotions and start wanting things because they make her happy instead of just to spite others, you're gonna love Angelique. Please god will more people read these books and yell about them with me
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vicvpcvke · 2 years
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That’s What She Said | Pt 2 ✽
| Eddie Munson x Female Reader
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It had been a few days since your little interaction with Munson in English, and honestly, you hadn’t thought much of it. He went back to his usual seat. Sometimes you glanced back at him when Ms. Hart made another naive comment, but that was the extent of your relationship with him. 
Today though, you were just concerned about stacking VHSs and managing Family Video on your own today. Robin had dipped last minute and Steve decided to blow you off for another date that would inevitably be unsuccessful; typical. You did the usual, stacking the shelves, turning on the day's movie, and making sure the Tom Cruise cardboard cut-out remained intact. 
You wouldn’t have noticed the customer walk in the door if the music through his headphones weren’t practically louder than the tv behind you. You looked up from your magazine, only to be met with familiar beady brown eyes, “Well, if it isn’t my failed assassin.”
Eddie Munson looked startled that you even acknowledged him. The boy pulled his headphones from his ears and placed them around his neck, looking back at the black van in the parking lot, “Oh, yeah. Sorry about that,” he said ignoring his awful park job. 
You huffed through your nose and proceeded to return to your magazine, “Appreciated.”
You didn’t pay much attention to him, to be honest, you didn’t even want to know what kind of movies he was into. Just as you were about to admire the hunk on the next page, a sudden crash of VHSs startled you. Your eyes immediately darted towards suspect number 1, who managed to catch 4 copies of Weird Science before laughing and setting them back. At least he wasn't a dick. 
Your eyes couldn’t help but follow him around the store, dancing in and out of isles and theatrically examining shelves top to bottom. He wove around the corner coming back to the main counter where he bent down and basically crawled along the floor, looking through all the movies set up by you. Eddie circled around to the front where you remained.
“Can I help you?” You asked raising a brow. You could only see the top of his head. 
The customer stood up from his crouched position,“Ah um…Do you have any Monty Python?” Eddie rested his hands on the countertop, leaning his weight on them and gently rocking back and forth on his feet. You hadn’t seemed to have noticed his detailed rings before, how they were engraved into his hand and made a quiet when they touched an object, 
Your eyes reacted in a squinch, “You watch Month Python?”
“Why, am I not allowed to have good taste?” He clearly thought you were challenging him. 
“No, I just didn’t expect you to be a fan of British sketch comedy.”
“Yeah well, I didn’t expect you to be a Top Gun fan either,” he said pointing to the TV behind you.
You looked back, embarrassed that he would think that’s the kind of shit you watch, “Pft, trust me, I’m not. The amount of testosterone in that movie gives all the dudes more sexual tension than our basketball team,” you laughed. 
He let out a bit of a chuckle too, “No wonder jocks love it so much.”
The room was quiet as you typed the password into the computer only to be met with a failed attempt again and again, “Ah shit. Alright, guess we’re doing this the old fashioned way. Come with me we’ll try the back.” You waved him over to follow you, surprising him by allowing him into such a sacred room. 
“That’s what she said,” He mumbled while he caught up with you. 
“Ha. Ha. Very funny.”
You flicked on the light, revealing a never ending array of VHS covers. You headed straight for “M” while he darted to another section. You probably should’ve been more worried about what he’d get into-
You couldn’t help but physically cringe when another crash came from a few isles behind you, “No way you have Aliens,” he yelled louder than needed, “It barely hit theatres. Mind if I uh….”
“Yes, I do mind actually. Do whatever illegal shit you want just don’t get me involved.”
Eddie popped his head around the corner, the forbidden Aliens in hand, “Okay, what am I going to do with one copy?” 
You glanced over at him then went back to searching, “I don’t know, sell it to your dealer or something?”
“How could you think so low of me Y/n.” It went quiet again until he walked up behind you, just about pressing up against your back. You could’ve sworn you almost got nervous, but swiftly excused that thought, “It’s up there, Holy Grail,” he pointed.
You huffed, then looked around for the step stool but it was no where to be found. Steve must've taken it for something. Refusing to let Eddie grab it for you, you slowly started to climb up the shelf, praying to God - something you rarely did - it wouldn’t snap. You thought you felt Eddie move closer, his hands hovering above your waist as a precaution. You were just about to reach the movie, until the stupid robotic shopkeeper’s bell buzzed, startling you. You grabbed the movie but flinched back, losing your balance. You felt cool metal grab your midriff, slowing your fall and placing you back down on the ground. 
You expected to turn around and see a cheeky smile on his face, but instead, he expressed genuine concern, “You okay?” 
“yeah,” you snapped out of it, pulling the VHS from behind you back and pressing it to his chest, “perfect in fact.” 
He took the item from you, not breaking eye contact, “Sheesh, I was gonna ask if you did wanna go see Aliens some time, but if a doorbell scared you that badly,” he grinned. 
Did Munson just, very indirectly, ask you on a date? Before you could respond, a familiar raspy voice came from the main room, “Y/n? Hello! What if I was trying to rob the place?” Finally, one of your coworkers decided to show. 
“Back here Robs, one sec,” you yelled and waited a moment before jokingly pushing the boy off of you. Eddie followed you out of the backroom, subconsciously eyeing your waist as you walked. When you both stepped out, he cut past you, sneaking around the isles and slipping out the front door without saying a word. You thought it was strange, but Eddie Munson had his reasons. 
He knew what people thought about him. He knew that you probably didn’t want to be associated with that. If Robin had seen the both of you come out together, well, her detective mode would turn on like a light, and big mouth would blabber. Innocently, of course. He didn’t want you to have to tolerate any stupid rumours or gossip, but part of him selfishly wanted people to associate your names with each other.
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the-heaminator · 1 year
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Fuckin chav vb+Arthur au
@modernday-jay I blame you for this.
"GET YOUR COATS OFF BOYS, AND PUT ON YOUR BLAZER YOUNG MAN!"
Ah the wonderful sounds of a British secondary school in late November, everyone wanted it to be half term already and there was the customary large amount of yelling from any one corner of the sopping wet and absolutely ball shrivellingly cold field they had the fortune to have.
The yelling by the caretaker was directed at Allen by the way, Arthur didn't wear a jacket despite it being just two degrees above zero -celcius you plebs- and Alfred, the perpetual goodie two shoes (in the eyes of the teachers) had already taken off his jacket before nearing the school gates, when asked all the nefarious bastard said was "I need to keep up a reputation!"
He certainly did have one, to the students he was the loud, tubby, slightly obnoxious american cunt that couldn't handle his drink to save his life and refused even the non nicotine vapes, to the teachers he was a wonderful boy, much nicer than all the other roughousers locked in this school with him, bright and appealing as a person.
To Allen and Arthur he was a hot piece of shit, and no one questioned the gayness because everyones a little gay with the homies (also they were scared shitless of Arthur and at least mildly threatened by Allen).
Wandering on to site, they always came early, all three getting on the same bus every morning, converging and dispersing at the bus stop every morning and afternoon, (what they did at night was something else entirely)
But just how two Americans ended up in a crusty british secondary school with a kid who had to get transferred from a grammar school because they moved house was quite a mystery, Alfred and Allen just seemed to turn up one day in the middle of year 8, and was entrusted on Arthur, then the form prefect, still the form prefect now as he came to think of it, they hadn't had a vote in a while but Arthur seemed to have the classes shit together well enough to not warrant an overthrow in leadership.
Anyways.
At the time the two Americans were just that, American, and weird with their too much and far too direct eye contact, especially Alfred, fucker was born and raised in the middle of fucking nowhere, Wyoming, so it was natural he would be a bit odd.
While Allen at least had the decency to know how to behave in a city environment, being from Boston after all, but he still acted funny and absolutely lost his shit when some year 11s offered him a beer.
Before a lengthy explanation that was really just Arthur infodumping about drinking laws was underway and Allen took a sip out of the beer can just to make Arthur laugh and Alfred to make that weird fucking face of his with thee shit eating grin. Yes he was 100 percent straight what are you talking about?
Their accents were funny, so was Arthur's to be fair, the lad had come from Buckinghamshire (spoke in recieved pronounciatikn, poor lad) because he had to move house and couldn't get a place in any of the Berkshire grammar schools due to them having a different exam and it was generally far too late into the schooling system for a transfer to be arranged.
So he got chucked into the absolute mess of a borough that is Ealing, and so did the other two, and the rest as they say, is history.
Though I mean Allen gave less than a quarter of a shit about history, he wanted to blow up the chemistry department, and he nearly did with the help of two year 12s which is a whole different story that I will get to eventually. Alfred wanted to physics, and despite being a homeschooled prairie kid from Wyfuckingoming he was very good at it, he was a numbers god and was in set one from the very start, and he didn't even have to grind too hard. And as I previously said, all the teachers loved him.
Arthur would prefer to sit in the library and get something read, but the job of looking after the two American bastards made it a bit more difficult when he had to explain the difference between Tolstoy, Dostoevsky and Marx to Alfred whose parents were very clearly still living in the 70s red scare.
it took some time getting used to, with absolutely minimal help from Arthur who would more likely be able to rattle off a single sentence that uses Opulence, Gratuitous and Whimsical and it making sense than him being able to understand what the other guys in his year were saying, before Allen could understand what people were saying, Arthur caught on a little later and they both doubt that Alfred knows it.
With the kid that spoke like he had a stick up his arse that was gradually extending further up his rectum and into his colon, you would be forgiven to think that he would be a punching bag, but dear reader a punching bag stays still and doesn't know how to chokehold a 6ft guy behind the shed and probably carried rocks in his pockets at all times, does he now.
"GET INSIDE, STOP DILLY-DALLYING!"
Oop that's the first bell, I got to go but I'll elaborate some time in the pelrkbably distant future, see ya fuckers.
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adultswim2021 · 1 year
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Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job #19: “Pepperoni” | January 21, 2008 - 12:15AM | S02E09
Another great episode. This one is jam-packed, and has a substantial amount of deleted or alternate sketches associated with it. That’s good for me, because I hate when these write-ups are just me pointing out funny things. What am I, Jay Leno’s famous Headlines segment from The Tonight Show Starring Jay Leno on NBC? Did you know that one of the worst things I ever saw on television was him pointing out intentional humor in a Papa Johns print ad? At least I think it was Papa Johns. Hey, remember when Tim and Eric did that Papa Johns thing in that thing? Nice. I’m back on track. Thanks for sticking with me.
Do you wonder why this episode is called “Pepperoni”? Well, wonder no more. This one starts off with a very brief cold open that reprises Tom Goes to the Mayor in live-action! In it, the Mayor gets increasingly frustrated with Roy Teppert for turning on his discman every time the Mayor uses his pointing stick to turn it off. The punchline is we cut to Tom Peters at the door, looking awkward.
What does that have to do with “Pepperoni?” Why did I do a paragraph break before giving support for my thesis statement? Well, I’ll tell you: there was originally MUCH more to this sketch. Seemingly this was meant to be the wraparound for the episode. There are two more deleted scenes from this sketch where Tom is clutching a pepperoni stick, and they get into a gentleman’s wager over weather or not that pepperoni would go well with a Cheese Pizza. I’m not entirely sure why these got the axe. They are pretty funny and I think they should’ve banked them for another episode. I guess it’s good that these guys generally like looking forward with their material, but I would’ve been all for them returning to the Tomiverse for more live-action mayubernatorial fun. 
The runner of this episode revolves around Bread Harrity, famous for being my friend C-Dog’s Geocities username. Bread is a Mediterranean man who loves entertaining children with songs about Spaghetti and Meatballs. This series of sketches is actually focused on the Breadheads, two trashy trailer park women who adore and desperately want to become Bread’s sexual partners. They openly talk about how much they hate their children and their current stations in life. It’s weird how disgusting some of the lines are in this sketch, only to have the relatively innocuous “bush” be bleeped out. I’ve always taken issue with that! This ends with the girls finally meeting their idol, and coming off too desperate and creepy when they sing a song about becoming his love slaves. He backs off, because he simply wants to “do it in the dark” (for some reason this line has reverberated in my head for the past decade and a half). 
There’s also another Kids Break that, like most of them, fails to recapture the magic of the first one. But that’s okay. They put a fun twist on this by calling it a “teen edition” and Tim & Eric have aged their characters up slightly. They are cool bad boys in this one. Originally this was conceived in a similar vein to the previous Kids Break sketches, and the deleted “preppy” version can be found on the DVD in the special features.
Hobby Holes features Fred Armisen as K.J. Nutt, a man with a British accent who just loves holes in the dirt and wants to teach you all about them. This sketch is fine, but it does feature one of the more sublime moments: K.J. Nutt is reciting the contents of a letter telling him he can’t make a hole in a piece of paper, but for some reason the graphics on screen show a complete letter with an opening salutation and closing valediction while the body only reads one single line: “You silly man.” without the rest of the text. I don’t know if I did any kind of job relaying this joke, but it’s one of my favorite bits in the entire series.
This sketch is reprised with embarrassing behind-the-scenes footage of the host freaking out, which is becoming formulaic at this point (Pussy Doodles, Crystal Shyps, probably others that I’m forgetting, all did this same thing). I might not have noticed this trend if it weren’t for the fact that this instance of it doesn’t do too much to add to the sketch. Nothing tops “You silly man.” for me. 
Hey, we got Brules Rules. In this one he instructs everyone to just eat ants that get on your picnic food, because they are made out of protein. I genuinely remember being taught this during cub scout camp, and a teenage counselor actually ate an ant in front of us. I remember thinking, “I’ll be damned. I guess you can eat those things.” I still never have, at least not on purpose. 
Video Match: Rainn Wilson is back! YIKES! This isn’t particularly inspired; he’s basically just saying Dwight style stuff about being a gamer. BORE-ING. 
There’s “Writin’ a jingle for Tom Skerrit.” which sorta exists in the canon of “Tim & Eric dicking around at the Abso Lutely offices”. This one actually has a ghastly surprise; after work-shopping their ideas for a Tom Skerrit jingle (for what purpose exactly is never explained), we pan over to see a tired-looking Tom Skerrit, who walks out on the meeting, unimpressed with Tim or Eric. Tim scolds him for wasting their time, and Tom offers back “you didn’t do a good job”. Great Job.
This one notably ends with The Shins playing over the credits, doing a cover of the “Never gonna Wipe My Butt” song. I remember thinking maybe this song originated on stage or something, or that I’d heard of it before this episode. Turns out I may have: The Shins performed it in late 2007 and a video of the performance made its way onto Youtube around then. It’s possible Tim & Eric debuted the song during a live show, but I must be thinking of this. They probably started performing it after recording their version for Tim & Eric in this episode. 
There’s one more deleted sketch; at least I’m choosing to attribute it to this episode because Tim & Eric are dressed in their same wardrobe as they were in the Tom Skerrit sketch. It’s given some title like “BEHIND THE SCENES” and in it, Tim & Eric present an actual lost sketch to the audience: the deleted Gibbons and Friendy cartoon. We see this briefly in season one’s “Friends”, shown on a television screen for a few seconds. So, the reason they didn’t include it on the season one DVD was because they filmed a new intro for it for season two and deleted it again.
Shout out to this great Youtube channel which has playlsits of Tim & Eric DVD extras. I’m a lover of physical media because of great extras like this, but I’m also pro people uploading DVD extras to YouTube so everyone can enjoy them. Go find the other deleted scenes I mentioned there!
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rottingskunk · 1 year
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night at the museum: Kamunrah rises again review
-i was binging the hell out of the night at the museum franchise (I chose to start with Smithsonian museum arc (2) then i’ll end with one). I watched the fourth movie and have many thoughts, as someone who loves this franchise to bits. (If you dont see mentions of the first movie its bc i havent seen it yet from my movie marathon)
1. The timeline is hella off im so confused about it. Nick is in highschool but NATM3 he was going to college?? Laa is there so it can’t be post NATM 2. If it was post NATM3 the best solution to this problem is having the adventure set IN THE UK???
2. I honestly am confused why kamunrah was revived again such a strange character to bring back i mean he was already dead before why bring him back?? (He was so iconic in the 2nd movie. Has funny bits in the fourth but third act bore me sorry) I genuinely wish there was a different bad guy instead
3. Infact i genuinely wish they had a small series for post NATM3 arc wherein its about the British museum rather than our main cast. Theres so much room and potential to introduce interesting historical figures too! Heck even make some of the animal statues talk that would be interesting (i doubt thats possible even with the tablet but shush) (is this an excuse to bring back rebel wilson to be the night guard-maybe Jdjfjsjdk/lh)
4. I love Octavius design he is not ugly to me at all infact he looks amazing in the movie! I love his face and his hair they look good. (I question why Jed is ginger and clean shaven, hes better off looking scruffy and scrappy looking) SIDE NOTE I LOVE THEM ADOPTING A CAT IT WAS MEANT TO BE !! (Their dynamic was off but them being clingy asf to each other made things less unberable)
5. Sacagewea and Joan of arc be lookin fruity in that one scene I see yall HDDJSJ, cute momment too. I love their respective character designs they are very fun plus Sacagewea is more plot relevant for once im glad for that:’D. Ik Joan of Arc wasnt there for the previous movies but my only answer to that plothole is shes also a new exhibit that was installed before NATM4. Or she could be in the British museum AKA AN EXCUSE TO HAVE JOAN AND LANCELOT TO INTERACT BRO THAT WOULD BE COOL
6.i love these movies but NATM4’s final fight scene wasn’t as impactful as the others. No.2 was so fucking good at their fight scenes the characters battling it out with a good amount for both sides, theres different spotlights for the characters even if its one second. The third movie it was more of a chase scene ft. LION STATUES BEING BIG CATS GAHHH<33 and Lancelot identity crisis poor man. This fourth one felt like a fight you see in every cartoon or show, just felt not as creative? Except when Nick destroyed the bird soldiers eye with arrows that was cool.
7. WHY DOES DEXTER NOT LOOK LIKE A CAPUCHIN??? He looks like a generic orange or brown ish monkey. I looked up how they look like irl and they tend to have multi colored fur so his design rlly confused the hell out of me. I genuinely love capuchins bc of dexter and able (choosing them over chimpanze’s just saying)
8.Lightning round bc I RAN OUT OF SPACE: Mia looks cool (wish she was used more in the story), Akmunrah not being there is so saddening, Nick and the bi sticker ™, Fun call back to the subway scene very cute, I love the oil painting joke its corny and useful to the chase, OFFENDED THERES NO BIG ANIMAL IN THE MAM MUSEUM EXCUSE??😭😭 theres always a big boy in there wdym (Rexy, Octopus, Trixie),Comic convention joke was my fave its such a cute moment
Heres some photos yey!! ok im done i spoke too much on this-did not expect such passion over it!!
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