#the amount of pain i have to push through

[romanticintheory]

Hello!!!! I was wondering if you could write an angst with Ghost/Simon where the reader was too clingy after having a bad day and he lashed out on her but he didn't think anything of it because the next day the reader was acting normal. He only noticed after a few weeks when reader became more distant and quiet. Feel free to ignore if it's too weird or you don't like it!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

this one is dedicated to all the ones who were hurt and never got that apology. hope this alleviates the pain.

simon "ghost" riley x gn!reader || masterlist || request rules

-there was no one specific reason as to why today turned out to be a bad day. it just was.

-from accidentally burning yourself trying to make breakfast after waking up late to having to deal with the most insufferable customers, it just wasn't your day today.

-but it was okay, because you had simon to return to when everything was said and done.

-the frown on your face immediately softens the moment you see him walk through the door to your shared home. as soon as he pulls his mask and boots off, you make your way toward him and engulf him in a tight hug.

-you are painfully (but understandably) unaware of the thin veil of his patience and the frustration that had been brewing within him in the past few hours. he half-heartedly returns the embrace.

-"how was your day, si?" you ask him gently.

-"fine," he responds shortly, hoping there isn't more to the conversation.

-even after you pull away from him, you trail behind him as he moves around the house. this wasn't irregular behavior from either of you. simon wasn't usually the most talkative person in the room, anyway, but he loved to hear your voice. that was one of the things he loved about the two of you together; you filled the space he couldn't.

-today, though, was different. he was pissed off at all different kinds of people. for some reason, couldn't bring himself to tell you that he was having a bad day and needed some space, especially because it was evident you were having a bad one yourself.

-so when he turned on his heel after listening to your rambles for as much as he could take and lashed out at you, he tried not to think about the unbearable amount of guilt seeping into his veins.

-"would you just stop clinging to me for five minutes? god, 's like i can't get away from you or your constant fucking talking!"

-you had heard stories, mostly from simon, about the kind of man he could be when pushed to his limit. mostly, it was of violent, physical acts when it came to work or protecting the ones he loved. other times, he would tell you about when he'd lash out at others just like he did to you, now, and he always told it to you with a quiet fear. there was an unspoken meaning to him telling you about the times he's acted out: i don't want to do the same to you. i don't want to hurt you.

-but here he was, towering over you with a coldness in his eyes and a dryness in his throat from the sheer volume of his words.

-averting your gaze from his, you let out a meek, "'m sorry," and watch as he slams the door in front of your face.

-when he slinks into bed next to your sleeping form later that night, ridden with shame and guilt, he misses the tear-stained face hidden from him. after his outburst, you felt like all of the energy in your body had been taken away from you and retreated to bed early. you cried on and off for hours.

-you always thought you had a clinging problem. it was an insecurity you carried with you starting from childhood. friends would become acquaintances and family would keep you at arms-length. after years of believing the issue was you, simon walked into your life and told you different.

-if you stopped talking because you thought he stopped listening and was uninterested, he'd always turn back to you and genuinely ask why you stopped talking. whenever you apologized for hugging him for too long or asking to spend time with him for the third time that week, he'd always tilt his head at you and say in that low, sincere voice, "but i love you?"

-for all those reasons, you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt despite how much he hurt you. so, when he tries to bring it up the next morning, you do your best to brush it off. he was having a bad day. that was all. no need to make a fuss.

-"listen, love," he calls to you as you pop your piece of toast out of the toaster. "about last night-"

-completely disregarding his words, you look at the clock and stuff your phone into your pocket. "it's fine. honestly, simon," you tell him with the best smile you could muster. "i'm gonna be late. i'll see you tonight."

-you were so adamant on getting out as quick as possible that simon had no time to respond. he thought to himself that maybe he was making a bigger deal out of it than you. maybe there were no hard feelings and you were completely fine. after all, he was always overly worried for you, anyway.

-so, when you came home, he didn't mention it. it was as if last night didn't happen, and the two of you were perfectly fine. there were times where simon thought you were being a bit more restrained in your movements or words, but he tried to chalk it up to just him being overly paranoid. you said it was fine, so it was better not to push you on it, right?

-at first, you were doing really good at keeping yourself from overthinking the situation. however, as time went on and you paid more attention to how you acted around your boyfriend, you began to wonder if you were really that clingy.

-as the week progressed, your state of mind would deteriorate. what if it wasn't just a bad day? what if that was what he thought the entire time and was just waiting for the right moment to tell you? had he just been trying to cheer you up about your insecurities the entire time? and if he was, how much of this relationship was even real, then?

-the more you thought about it, the more distant you became. the last thing you wanted to do was make simon feel like he was being suffocated by you. you slowly stopped initiating physical affection with him, restricted talking about your day to a few sentences, and tried to answer simon's questions in one word when possible.

-he notices. of course he notices, it was like a stranger was living where you were supposed to be, and he missed it. he missed you.

-he asks you about your change when you're getting ready for bed, pulling the rest of your nightshirt over your head. despite being exhausted from work and looking like you were sitting out in the wind, he thought you never looked more ethereal than you did now.

-"(y/n)," he said.

-"hm?" you hummed to him, not turning toward his direction. you sat down on the edge of your side of the bed, turning off the lamp at the same time.

-your lack of emotional presence was starting to eat at him. he sat down next to you, the mattress dipping beneath his weight and forcing you to lean toward him.

-"you alright?"

-"yes. why?"

-"i dunno, you just seem..." his eyes tried to find yours, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze. "quiet."

-it was then that you looked at him, and it was scary to simon because he couldn't make out the emotion in your expression. there was nothing he could read.

-"isn't that-" you had to pause to try and stabilize your wavering voice. "isn't that what you wanted?"

-there was a tension-filled silence that settled in the room, and for a second you were worried that what you said was somehow incredibly offensive.

-finally, he chokes out, "i'm sorry."

-again, you try to muster up a smile. "it's fine, i already told you. i should've known you wanted space."

-"no."

-"no?"

-"it was my fault," he explains. "how could you 'ave known? i didn't tell you i wasn't in the mood that day, and that's not even considering the way i talked to you. i shouldn't have- nothing excuses what i said to you."

-still, you were convinced you were to blame. "well, i have a history of being clingy, so," you were trying to come up with more excuses for him. for most of your life, you had decided that you were the issue. it couldn't be any other way, right?

-"i know. it's one of the things i love you for," he says quietly. "not to sound cheesy but it's what makes you you, and i don't want you to lose that jus' 'cause i'm still shitty at communication."

-you knew in some capacity he was right. there was no excuse for how he talked to you, but the next words you wanted to say evaded you.

-simon thought about talking some more. instead, he grasped your back with one hand and slid his other underneath your legs, repositioning you on his lap. it was like a silent plea from him, a way of proving that he wanted to be close to you just as much as you wanted to be close to him.

-"you're sure i'm not too clingy?" you ask tentatively.

-"positive," he reassures you, rubbing small circles on your back with his thumb. "you wanna know something?"

-"what?"

-"if i wasn't so fucked up-"

-"you're not fucked up."

-"right." you never let him talk badly about himself. that was something he was still getting used to after all this time. being loved and learning to love himself. "well, if i didn't grow up the way i did and became the person i am, i'd probably be way clingier than you."

-"that's impossible," you deny, unconsciously letting yourself lean into his touch.

-"you don't know how much i want you. if my mind and body would let me, i'd be close to you all the time, showing you the attention you deserve."

-"you give me plenty."

-"agree to disagree," he stops with the circles and pulls you impossibly closer to his body. "but 'm trying. 'm trying to learn to let you love me and to not be afraid to love you. 'm sorry, love. i stopped trying that night, and i think it'll be the death of me."

-you let his words sink in, a thoughtful look on your face.

-"next time you'll tell me, right? what you're thinking?"

-"pinkie promise," he agrees, letting the hand under your legs slide out and raise his pinkie finger toward you.

-in return, you link your pinkie with his to seal the promise, and it feels as though the heavy tension in the air has cleared away.

-"i love you," he says, feeling bold from his previous admission.

-"i love you, too." there's that smile on your face. he never realized until now how he probably couldn't live without it.

-he kisses you on the lips, and for a moment the two of you just stay there in each other's arms, forgiving the past, healing the present, and dreaming of the future together.

#call of duty imagine #call of duty x reader #cod x reader #cod imagine #cod mw x reader #simon riley imagine #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley imagine #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost imagine #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x you #ghost x you #cod angst #call of duty angst #simon riley angst #ghost angst #cod hurt/comfort #simon riley hurt/comfort #cod fluff #call of duty fluff #rarawrites

[thosefuzzywordfeelings]

Can I make a request?

Eddie munson with 67 and/or 68?

If not, that's totally fine. But either way, Thank you!

whewwww i love those prompts so much 😮‍💨 thank you for the rq! ✨

CW; mention of slight violence from eddie towards someone else (protective king), spanking, slight? choking 😌✨

“Eddie, I’m serious. Like, deadass serious right now.”

“I couldn’t hurt you love. Not that far. Little smack on this pretty ass is fine but that?” Eddie sighed, as you straddled his waist and looked down at him. He was smiling up at you softly, curls fanned out on the pillow as his hands stroked up and down your thighs.

Things could get pretty rough between the two of you, asscheeks often red if your face was smushed into the mattress, but he was always so…sweet. Little praises, ‘you’re doing so well for me sweetheart’ and ‘look so pretty when you take it like this’. But you’d seen him the night before outside the bar when the barman got a little handsy with you, Eddie’s hands scrunched up in the barman’s jacket as he shoved him up against the wall, getting in his face and threatening him with a ‘if you ever lay a fingertip on her, or your eyeballs roll in her direction, i will fucking ruin you.’

Since then your body had been on fire, his dark eyes somehow darker etched in your mind. And now this, after a morning spent napping and drinking painful amounts of coffee to wash away the liquor of yesterday, you were atop your boyfriend, needy.

“Baby…” You whined quietly, leaning down to kiss along his jaw and down his neck. His hands slid up over your back, resting there before travelling down to the swell of your ass and pulling it down against him.

“Yes love?” Eddie spoke back, his voice rough from smoking but his tone gentle and sweet. As always.

Reaching a hand down between the two of you, you’d cup his growing length through his pyjama pants, squeezing him hardly.

“Fuck - what’re you playing at? Tryna rile me up?” Eddie growled softly, his hand coming to your wrist but you quickly pinned it up above his head with your free hand, bringing your face up to hover above his.

“I want you.”

“You can have me.”

“But I want you…rough, Eddie. I want you to make me cry. I want you to-“ You brought your lips to his as they suddenly hung open in shock at your quick change of demeanour, “fucking ruin me.”

His big doe eyes looked up at yours, searching for any jest or hesitation, and when he found none - only sincerity and pure unadulterated lust in your irises - his eyes darkened. Just as they did the night before. His hand snaked up your chest, settling around your throat as he smiled sweetly before pushing you back ferociously against the mattress; a gasp leaving your lungs as you focused on the way he knelt in between your legs.

“Last night….” Eddie spoke, a new tone to his voice, “turned you on, didn’t it sweetheart?” His hands ran along your thighs again, squeezing them tighter than usual as he spread them open further to settle on top of his own. You nodded cutely, your own eyes widening as the throbbing between your legs grew.

“Say it again. Tell me how it made you feel.” Eddie whispered, pulling your hips so your ass rested in front of his knees before leaning down to hover above you this time.

“You - you looked so angry, Eddie, so protective, just made me - want you like that.” You’d stutter as his hands travelled across your body, fingertips digging in harder than before.

“Yeah. Fucking asshole, thinks he can lay his hands on you, just because you’re gorgeous and sexy and beautiful and wonderful-“ Eddie started his sentence angry but pressed kisses to your lips with all the praises that followed.

You giggled against his lips before pulling away, noticing he was smirking down at you.

“You’re rutting against me like a feral little puppy do you know that?” He taunted lowly, looking down at where you were subconsciously bucking your hips up in an attempt to feel him. “Tsk, tsk, tsk.”

“Please-“ You begged softly, hands pulling his wrists away from your body and down towards your inner thighs. Thinking you were in control for a moment, you let out a slight giggle but it was quickly squashed with a gasp and a loud mewl as he brought his hand down to smack your clothed core.

“You want me to ruin you and you can’t even wait five minutes? Oh sweetheart…you’re gonna need to be more patient than that.” He condescended, tilting his head with a smirk as he watched you fall down the rabbit hole of submission.

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #stranger things #stranger things smut #asks #prompts #i’m feral

[jimraisedmeup]

TICK // 11.1 - against all odds

Rating: mature (angst, language)

Word Count: 1500

☾

How can I just let you walk away? Just let you leave without a trace When I stand here taking every breath, with you You're the only one who really knew me at all

☾

February 14, 1984 - junior year

"Your room smells nice."

"Did you expect it to smell bad? Jesus."

Eddie stared at you, standing in his bedroom. You were looking around, your piercing gaze taking in every little detail, which suddenly made Eddie self-conscious.

"Do you have, like, multiple personalities or something, Buckley? I'm getting whiplash from your mood swings," he muttered, dropping the keys to his van on the dresser.

You scoffed, removing your jacket and scarf before laying them out on his bed. You sat on your jacket like it was some kind of protective barrier between yourself and his bedsheets. 

The strange action made Eddie roll his eyes.

Taking time to look at you, Eddie was sure now that you were going through some shit. Your hair was still pristine as always, but the bags under your eyes made you look like a goddamn ghoul.

"Hot chocolate?" you reminded him, running your hands over the tops of your thighs.

Eddie shifted awkwardly. "Uh, yeah, about that. I don't have any hot chocolate, I just said that to lure you in here."

"Again with the homicidal implications, huh, Munson?"

"I do love implications, sunshine," he snapped back with a quick wink. "Woah, woah!"

Standing up suddenly, you grabbed your jacket and made for the door. On your way out, you stopped in front of Eddie.

"Stop calling me sunshine. I don’t like pet names. I’m not your pet," you spat.

Ignoring the jab at his bruised heart, Eddie sneered at you, second-guessing why he even bothered to bring you there to talk. 

"At this point, I think the only thing I know about you is that you're a total asshole."

You paused in the hallway outside of his bedroom. You seemed defeated, like a car that ran out of gas, like a bird giving up after trying to fly with a broken wing.

"Look, I can tell you're not having a great time lately. Obviously," he said, gesturing towards you as a whole, "you're a little off your rocker."

When you didn't respond, Eddie continued. "Let me help you get back on your rocker. Talk to me, tell me things, anything. Tell me about your shitty parents, tell me about your dirty dreams. I care, you know. I'm not about to judge you."

He worried that his pleading would chase you out the door faster, which honestly could be the last straw for Eddie. There was a fine line between trying to help the girl who was hell bent on pushing everyone away and maintaining his own self-respect.

And then you nearly crumpled to the floor, rubbing your eyes with your fingertips.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm sorry about ghosting you again, for leaving after what happened on New Years."

He hadn't expected an apology from you. Sure, he wanted one - but he sure as hell didn’t expect one. 

And then the very last thing he expected from you was the amount of emotion on your face. A mixture of confusion, exhaustion, just a sprinkle of anger.

Unsure of what to say, Eddie scooted towards you, taking a knee on the floor near where you leaned against the dingy wall.

"It's… it's okay. I can't be mad at you. We're both going through our own shit."

"That's no excuse for me to abandon you. Twice."

Eddie chuckled grimly. "Huh, yeah. You did ditch me twice, didn't you?"

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You mean, besides being a typical teenage girl?" He tried to joke, but immediately felt bad. "Is it about your parents?"

And finally, after months of wondering what the hell you were hiding, the wall you were desperately holding up… fell down.

☾

How can you just walk away from me? When all I can do is watch you leave 'Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears You're the only one who really knew me at all

☾

You told him about your family. You told him about your religion, or ex-religion at this point, and how much it affected the dynamic of you and your parent's relationship.

You had been so used to maintaining your stoic appearance even before you changed your mind about religion. Since you were a small girl, your parents scolded you for crying. If you even laughed too loudly in public, your mother would pinch your arm. You're embarrassing yourself, child.

Your parent's recent divorce was the talk of housewives all over Hawkins, but not necessarily as big as Eddie's father's arrest. More like the hottest gossip amongst adults since back when Hopper went off the rails and banged nearly every woman in town.

You felt responsible for the entire thing. You told Robin about your father's affair, who in turn told your mother. The whole situation was a complete cluster fuck, ending up with your mother moving to Indianapolis and now the Buckley sisters only had your shitty dad. Not that either of you really needed him, though.

Confiding in Eddie about Robin's sexuality and your parent's ridicule was the hardest part, a lone tear crawling down your cheek for the first time in years. You had never said the words out loud before, even to Robin herself. It had always been an unspoken thing between you two.

You were a girl with a lot of feelings built up inside of you, anger bubbling at the surface of your impassive image. 

After growing up in a vicious, judgemental household, Eddie could see exactly why you were so distrusting of others.

Especially new, unpredictable people. Like himself.

And Eddie sat in silence, sitting across the narrow hallway from you. He absorbed every word you spoke. He felt like he was receiving a precious gift, a priceless artifact, deserving of being protected inside of his heart forever. 

In your close proximity, the Munson boy wrapped his outstretched legs loosely around your own legs. You didn't seem to mind.

"Thank you for telling me. Thank you for telling me about your life, Buckley," he mumbled, after a long stretch of silence between them. 

"Are you okay?"

"What?" he questioned, puzzled. 

"About your dad…"

Your eyes lifted to meet his, and Eddie felt like he saw a new clarity there. Your fixed stare was lucid, like a dirty window that was cleaned after years of neglect. And hell, Eddie would cut off one of his limbs to become the worn out rag that cleaned that window forever.

It seemed like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. He admired you, not only for overcoming obstacles in life, but as a physical being. Sour conversation aside, Eddie wanted to hold you. He was still afraid you would run away, disappear for a third time.

"Eddie?"

He coughed, distracted, looking down the hallway. "Oh, um, well… my dad got locked up for dealing drugs. Now I live here. Not much to say about that."

"But are you okay?"

Thinking for a moment, he tapped his boot against your hip. "I'll be okay. I was planning to move here anyways, remember? No more drunken screaming fights, no more locking me out of the house on a weekly basis. No more broken guitars, either," he laughed. "I've actually been keeping my favorite guitar here at my uncle's for years because of that old angry bastard."

"Really?"

"Unfortunately, Buckley, you aren't the only one with dysfunctional parents. Hate to break it to you." He had one more question for you. "But, on a more personal note. Did I do something wrong?"

You fidgeted in your seat on the floor. "What do you mean, exactly?"

"I guess I know better by now than to take these last few months too personally. We're human, life has its ups and downs. But are we still friends? Why did our friendship, or whatever the hell it was, become collateral damage in all of this?"

No answer from you.

"Are you going to stick around this time? I'm developing abandonment issues over here," he smirked.

His grin grew wider as you actually smiled back at him. Your eyes seemed to glow at him from across the hallway.

"I don't know, you tell me. Can I stay?"

"I'll keep you forever if you let me."

The blush on your cheeks was displayed to him in an almost shameless way, like an offering. And then your next question would have knocked him off his feet if he hadn't already been seated on the floor.

"No, I mean can I stay here tonight?"

☾

Take a good look at me now, 'cos I'll still be standin' here And you coming back to me is against all odds It's the chance I've gotta take

☾

(song lyrics credit: "Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)" by Phil Collins)

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#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddiemunson #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #eddie munson slow burn #eddie x you #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x buckley!reader

[kaazukado]

dr. ratio please i need to see him NOW

i started playing honkai star rail recently and i’m in this weird middle ground where i crave dr. ratio content like a starving victorian child but i also want to avoid spoilers so i can’t look at half the things that appear on the results page whenever i search him up. everyday i’ll look up “dr ratio” on youtube and see something like “dr ratio BLACKMAILED by sunday”(i don’t think that actually happens, i just made something up) and i’ll be like “damn hsr’s really going wild. welp time to forget what i just saw” and then proceed to watch the same two shorts from braxophone for the millionth time because they’re the only things i can tell obviously hold no significant spoilers

also can i just say- there are WAY too little dr ratio-centric angst fics. maybe their number will go up once i actually get to penacony and finish the story quest(i’m still on jarilo vi), but right now the amount of fanfictions centering purely around dr ratio suffering is few and far in between. i go on ao3 and look for dr ratio hurt/comfort fics and most of them are about aventurine.

and you know what? i get it. i know why people like writing angst about aventurine. he’s like childe: so unbelievably and heart-achingly tragic, and so full of angsty material in the canon already that it’s so easy to beat him to the ground and raise him back up. but just like childe, i could not care less about him. and just like with childe, the guy i actually want to see in pain is the normally composed and serious one, the tragic guy’s best friend(and, as for ratio and aventurine, LOVER).

but i crave dr. ratio’s pain. i need to see him BLEED, HURT, and lose his composure; i need people to delve into his deepest insecurities, uproot them, and make him vulnerable; i need him dying, i need him depressed and suffering in silence under the pressure of upholding his image as an infallible genius, i need to see the impacts social isolation has on him.

hell, maybe when aventurine comes to comfort him, our dear doctor pushes his lover away because he disregards his suffering as insignificant compared to the horrors aventurine went through. it’s not rational. it’s not logical. of course his pain matter just as much as aventurine’s does. but human emotions don’t always have to be logical, and dr veritas ratio is, and will forever be, human

in conclusion we need more well written dr ratio angst fanfictions(AND well written zhongli angst fanfictions(ESPECIALLY SICKFICS)) and i need to get to penacony immediately

#dr ratio #dr. ratio #veritas ratio #dr veritas ratio #aventurine #honkai star rail #honkai: star rail #spoilers #penacony spoilers #hsr spoilers #fanfiction #fanfics #fics

[calmmyfears]

waking up each morning with indescribable pain since I was age 15 has changed me irreversibly - no dream of mine is stronger than the desire to be pain free again. it's killing me.

#the amount of pain i have to push through #from the second i open my eyes #asks so much courage and strength of me #that i feel drained all the time #i don't want to do this anymore #fibromyalgia #cfs/me #chronic pain #spoonie

[pepprs]

i had a scarily bad depression moment (if you catch my drift) at work on thursday during a meeting where the topic of conversation and the things ppl were saying were directly (and slightly intentionally?) contributing to my distress and im past that moment now but i feel so haunted by it. by the thoughts i was having and the fact that i had them and the fact that i was witnessed in that moment but they didn’t know how bad it was. and im also feeling vulnerable to being back in that place again

#purrs #it is kinda amazing the amount of triggering things that happen every day and any one of them knocks the wind out of me but this is like. #4-5 a day at least and then like 5-6 hours of sleep in between another round. it’s not a good way to be in the world. but i am going to say #one positive thing which is that im proud of myself for enduring it and pushing forward even though it’s painful. like i am very strong for #doing that especially when i don’t have the emotional safety / resources i need and technically have never had them and will never have them #it’s important to remember that. and yeah it’s kinda like i shouldn’t have to be strong through all of that but the one positive thing i can #hang onto in this… well no actually 2. 1) i am very strong for surviving right now even though it’s just scraping by 2)one day it might not #be this hard. one day i might feel better. and even though it doesn’t feel like it and i keep having setbacks i am making progress towards #that moment. even thougu im scared to take some leaps im still inching towards the jump and that matters a lot. and other people can see it #even when i can’t. just not the people in that meeting apparently LOL #delete later

[what-the-fuck-khr]

pain has veeeeeery suspiciously disappeared from the tooth which makes me veeeeeeeery suspicious bc that’s not good lmfao bc if the pain goes without treatment, it means smth in that tooth has fucking died if I can’t feel anything anymore LMAO. okay if I press hard enough it hurts but it’s nowhere near the sharp ass pain it’s been leading up to this point so! I’m gonna go into that appointment expecting dead nerves and an infection or abscess of some kind. I’m also going in expecting the tooth to get ripped out so! what a day that’s gonna be

#:) #like lack of pain means nerves that were on the fritz the entire time #are not responding anymore #I know this from my tooth hurting. it stops. it comes back. it stops. I get a root canal. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #mind you the one tooth I did have pulled had a hole so fucking big I’m assuming #it just took the nerves clean out at the start #bc that hole got BIG. BIG. I could put my tongue in that thing I had to clean it out after every meal #and I told the receptionist on the phone yeah there’s a hole and she’s like how can you tell #I CAN PUT MY TONGUE THROUGH HALF THE TOOTH LMFAO #but a different tooth HURT so we fixed that one first dmfnfndj AND GET THIS. ITS THE ONE IM EXPECTING TO BE RIPPED OUT #HAH. A FULL CIRCLE. MAN. THAT WHOLE HUGE FUCK OFF FILLING FOR NOTHING #luckily they cap at a certain amount per financial year so it’s $36 or smth and if I go enough and hit the cap I don’t pay anymore which is #additionally the first pulled tooth was a very back molar also. this one is on the other side and on the lower jaw instead #which Could effect chewing a bit #but like the other one I figure I’ll get used to it. so. it is what it is #I’m willing to just say goodbye I just want a photo of it if possible #bc one root canal was like. a worry. bc of how fucking huge my roots are they worried the filling #would push the tooth in and it’d hit nerves and maybe it would reject. alas that did not happen so! #ooc #can you tell we have good luck with teeth in my family #I’m not the only one with teeth missing and technically with how bad mine are they’re still not even the WORST so! silver linings!

[theghostofashton]

-

#it feels so violent that poc are never allowed to simply enjoy anything #even when things cater to us we still have to deal w white takes on them that taint the experience #yes this is about nhie lol #the amount of people that i've seen villainize devi just makes me...... i'm not even angry i'm just so sad #it genuinely hurts bc i don't think people realize how starved south asians are for ANY kind of good rep #i looked up indian characters in western media the other day and - raj from big bang theory. apu from the simpsons. ravi from jessie #all of which are racist beyond belief #we have basically nothing #there are no characters that look like me in western media there never have been #until devi #who is south indian and unapologetic and gets to work through her trauma and be given the space to grieve #that's huge too #we don't get that our culture often denies that #we are constantly moving on and pushing past and ignoring the problem until it guts us and even then it's still not allowed #for us to be upset #so to see people criticize devi's abject grief and pain is just like....... you have no idea #you TRULY have no idea #if you don't like her find another show this show belongs to her #but instead i have to risk seeing people prioritize ben and his feelings and center him in devi's narrative to the point where it's just lik #when will it end? when will you stop centering the white boy in a narrative that FINALLY prioritizes an indian woman #finally #after fucking ages #just...... it's exhausting i'm exhausted #the new season comes out soon and i am already afraid of the racist shit my girl is going to endure #and the racist shit that i am going to have to endure as a result lmfao #like i do not know how to express the way it hurts to finally get a narrative that prioritizes us #and still see people make it about her white love interest and villainize her like i just #do i even want more rep if this is how people will rip it apart do i even want to go through that

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

head hurty

#not any more like that but last night #love having a pain condition triggered partly by anxiety but also it caused the anxiety to be constant in the first place #i dont get chronic migraines bc i dont get them often enough its usually like 1 every 2 months nowadays but sometimes it can be 4 in a week #bc having one makes it more likely i have a another soon after #but i sure as fuck have acute migraines #i remember being in school and classmates being like oh i have a migraine going off to take their meds and then coming back to class?! #whereas as soon as i had an aura id go to the office and be like can you call my mum she needs to take me home #and i thought i was just being weak and i should just push through it #but you can't push through acute pain nausea vomiting and disorientation #there are literally parts of my brain or thoughts i can't access during one ill be trying to think of a word and i can't find it #they usually only last like 2-3 hours but it feels like a lot longer when you're sitting in the dark can't even lie down feeling like hell #and ik some peoples go on for days some people have them more days than they dont ik im lucky to have such short and fairly infrequent ones #but its still beyond horrible and feeling like a ticking time bomb constantly watching out for an aura #and worrying about going somewhere you can't easily get home from #and I've only just started to be able to talk about it i could never understand how other people could talk about theirs flippantly #when mine terrified me more than anything the amount of bad feelings #but she's working on it having realised after 8 years that it doesn't have to be like that 🤣 #mine #n e way sorry for the rsnt all good now chillin in bed ✌🤣

[muskpunk]

.

#really fucking frustrated #ive slept 5 hours and cannot rest any more rn #im in a lot of physical pain from work yesterday #between having to push myself to walk without a cane for long distances and being physically assaulted #(the latter was mild it's. more the stress that heightens already existing fibro pain) #and not sleeping well makes pain worse #but wouldn't you have it that pain is preventing me from even laying restfully rn #today should be ok at work. hopefully. but sunday might suck and its looming over me #and after the work weekend I have a million things to do for my upcoming move #and a talk im dreading with someone close to me #and im deep into autistic burnout #and I want to lose my shit rn #because rn I cannot have even the bare minimum amount of rest I need to push through things #but I still have to keep doing it anyways #because what other choice do I have

[beeapocalypse]

GNASHES MY TEETH

#blood tw #SORRY i am on a roll now. i thought about this comic again and feel like a worm writhing in fresh mud or some shit #THE FACT THAT HIS COURT TRINKET SET QUOTE IS 'we're all falling apart...' LIKE AUGHH !!!! #'WHAT I ONCE FEARED I HAVE BECOME!' 'THROUGH PAIN AND AGONY I DRAG MYSELF TO THE LIGHT!' 'I NO LONGER NEED TO BE-- #--TESTED! SEE HOW I SHINE!' MAN !!!!! SHUT UP !!!!!!!!!! #that last line is SO much. there is that fear of pain still ducking away somewhere inside of him still soem expectation of an END and a-- #--reward for the suffering when to be a flagellant is to never see that beyond the finality of death !!! he finds righteousness and when-- #--pushed to the edge superiority in his open acceptance of the pain but he still has those base human instincts !!!! AGH #TO SCOFF AT THOSE WHICH SHY AWAY FROM IT. TO IMPART IT WITH HIS OWN HANDS. AND SOMEWHERE IN THERE HE FEELS THE EXACT-- #--SAME WAY #and right next to that animal fear is an animal anger. it finds a release through his righteous rage and his judgement of those afraid of-- #--the burden but it is still right there and hungry #his comic makes me lose my mind it really does because like. that is not a benevolent embrace for people imparting-- #--his deliverance he is laughing AT them for not understanding he wants to lord his knowledge over them because to him he is better-- #--than them. as they find slow disgust in their own violence he welcomes it with literal open arms. man !!!!!!!!!!!! #i dont know what i am saying here. i dont know if it makes sense i just get so !!!!!!!!!! when i think about the flagellant for-- #--any real amount of time. he has so much less dialogue than any of the other mercenaries because of his single affliction but there is-- #--SO much packed into what there is it really is icnredible

[intersectionalpraxis]

I still can't get over the fact that Prime Minister Trudeau could not let "ceasefire," leave his lips when he made his speech a few days ago at the Embassy in Washington. The fact that he and his PR team came up with, "humanitarian pause," to add to his lexicon when talking about Gaza is just a fucking embarrassment.

Even the UN recently called for a "humanitarian truce," like WTF do these people think this is? A LITERAL GENOCIDE is taking place and 10,000 Palestinian people have been killed in the past 31 days, and so many more are STILL under the rubble.

There's a video of a small child with burns from head to toe, who barely survived a bomb, crying out in confusion and pain. Another video of a young man saying goodbye to his dead baby brother in front of him, completely distraught while flipping through photos of him on his phone. There's also a video of a doctor who IMMEDIATELY knew her daughter was on the stretcher coming into the hospital and multiple colleagues had to console her. There's also a video of a father using his bare hands to push away debris after israel bombed a refugee camp (which they have done so many times, killing hundreds). There are translations on twitter/X from parents saying goodbye to their children, who are no longer in the hellscape called Gaza.

These are just a minor fraction of stories that Palestinian people have had to document to show how they are suffereing because bigoted, heartless, war mongering, colonial-settlers are KILLING them. The amount of violence that has continually rained over Gaza is not new, but what is happening is unprecedented, and is undeniably a mass acceleration of ethnic cleansing.

The fact that Israel has made it VERY CLEAR they intend to slaughter the Palestinian people because they view them as 'human animals' as obstacles to this larger Zionist agenda -the fact that their propaganda permeates all over their socials in ways that are deplorable and dehumanizing. Despite having broken over 42 resolutions the UN created...

These so-called leaders are calling for a 'humanitarian pause," or a 'humanitarian truce'

It's beyond despicable.

#feminist #feminism #social justice #free palestine #palestine #freepalastine🇵🇸 #free gaza #gaza #israel is committing genocide #israel is an apartheid state #israel #human rights

[team-rnjr]

.

#i feel incredibly alone right now but i also don't feel up to socializing #I'm struggling a lot with brain funk and i just. don't want to #my body is revolting and then my brain decides i need to feel like shit constantly for trying to take care of myself #newsflash asshole brain: it is not manipulative to #a. accidentally sprain your wrist by bending it weird while using your cane #even if you are barely a month recovered from spraining the fuck out of your other thumb #and b. to take care of your body instead of pushing through the pain #i am not manipulating anyone by wearing a brace and resting that hand #by taking a week or two to let it heal now #I'm avoiding having to spend months healing a worse injury or developing yet another chronic illness #anyway #fuck you to every adult in kid mes life who made me feel like acknowledging any amount of pain made me a bad person #reparenting yourself in your 20s sucks

[stsgluver]

synopsis. your husband still ignores the side effects of his cursed technique just so he can get a glimpse of you.

wc. 1.2k

gojo satoru was born with six eyes — a special cursed technique that allowed for an extremely precise manipulation of cursed energy, down to an atomic level. it also blessed him with a beautiful pair of ocean blue eyes that were practically glowing. you’d never seen eyes so pretty.

the drawback to this gift? the skull-splitting migraines that came with the excessive information constantly being processed by his darting eyes.

as a child, the pain was manageable. gojo didn’t have much of a hold on the technique so his weaker state meant that the migraines were subdued as less information was being absorbed. however, as he grew older and more powerful, he would find himself bed ridden for at least twenty four hours if he did not take some sort of measure to protect his eyes.

his go to method was the sunglasses, almost 100% tinted — no other person would be able to clearly see out of them, if they could see anything at all. his sight, on the other hand, so impressive that he could distinguish people and the objects around them through the levels of cursed energy radiated.

still, accidents happened. whether it be him breaking his glasses, or forgetting them as young children do, he quickly learned the drawbacks to his technique. no normal medicine could relieve the pain and no sorcerer was strong enough to either.

gojo satoru met you at fifteen years old on his first day at tokyo jujutsu high. you wore a uniform similar to shoko's but your skirt was closer to the floor than it was to your thigh. your hair was longer than most female sorcerers and tied into a plait that hung against your back. in all honesty, you appeared quite plain to him. nothing particularly stood out. not even your cursed energy was particularly strong.

but you were gorgeous. completely and utterly gorgeous. his glasses slipped slightly down his nose as he analysed you from afar and it wasn't till a slap on the shoulder from geto that he snapped out of it.

within six months of knowing one another, the two of you were dating. you picked up on his habit to forgo his glasses around you pretty quickly and you definitely didn't miss the increasing amount of discomfort that would cause him.

"why do you do that?" you asked him one time.

the two of you were on a date in the park. a picnic blanket had been laid out and satoru had bought basically every single pastry and sweet at the bakery next to the park. you'd barely managed to make it through half till the both of you had given up and opted for cloud watching, giggling as he joked that one cloud in particularly looked very similar to nanami's 'emo' haircut.

satoru turned to his side to look at you questioningly, his head resting on his hand, "do what?"

"take off your glasses," you gestured to the folded pair of black glasses by his head. "i don't have to be a doctor to realise that you're in a lot of pain right now." the longer you lay there, the less satoru was actually looking up at the sky, instead just listening to you as you pointed out shapes and animals.

you knew the toll six eyes could take on his body.

he kept his eyes screwed shut when he wasn't looking at you to ease the the pain from the intense light that was too overpowering for his splitting headache. he winced when a kid screamed too loudly or ran too close and his fingers would push against the sides of his head frustratedly. as if he thought hard enough, the pain would just go away.

his lips tilted up into a lopsided grin, "but i see you."

you twisted so that your body was parallel to his. there was a faint blush on your cheeks now but you didn't look away from his eyes. how could you? "you always see me."

"not with those stupid glasses," satoru frowned, and you think it was the most serious you had seen him since you met. "seeing you and seeing your energy are two very different things."

"you're hurting yourself," you pointed out, placing one of your hands onto his cheek to gently stroke your thumb against his skin. his shoulders relaxed slightly and he leant into your touch like it was magic. like you were some drug that numbed the pain, replacing it with a special serotonin only you could give him.

"worth it." satoru kissed your palm.

that was his only response. worth it. and he stuck to it even a decade later.

"old habits die hard, i guess," satoru tried to laugh at his poorly made joke, but only a few shakey breaths came out. you'd been home thirty minutes and he'd already been sick twice. he'd curled himself up in your shared bed not long after the second time and that was where he was when you began scolding him for his carelessness.

"you are twenty eight," you rant exasperatedly, juxtaposing your voice that is no louder than a gentle whisper, "you have three first years to be looking after right now, but no, someone wanted to go out for dinner and someone didn't want to wear their glasses, and someone-"

satoru's much larger hand squeezed yours, "don't be cruel. i do this for you, my love." his blindfold was now on (you had made him put it on as soon as you had gotten home) but you know him well enough to know he was staring up at you with those lovesick eyes that made you weak at the knees.

"i just worry," your tone eased. you had no issue looking after your husband, you never had. it wasn't his fault that he got the migraines per se. yes, he could definitely be doing more to mitigate the severity, but he was stubborn. that had never changed. "i've seen you fight special grades. i hate seeing a stupid headache hurt you so much."

"lay with me."

"you're sweaty and sick." you scrunched up your nose, eyes flicking to the en suite you'd just cleaned and back to the cold flannel on his forehead as his body temperature fluctuated.

he shook his head, placing his index finger over his lips. "shhh, i'm passed that stage. pretty please? i need you."

gojo satoru was irresponsible at the best of times. he'd been raised to believe he was invincible and had been spoiled to always get what he had wanted. there was no telling him what to do when he'd already decided an hour ago exactly what he wanted to do.

but there was something about being needed by gojo satoru. you could never say no to him. so whether it be due to his own decision to stare into the eyes of his wife during a romantic night out, or an extensive fight against a cursed spirit, you would always be there to clean up and make sure he was wrapped up in bed all cosy.

and you would always lift up the covers and climb in once there was no more that you could do but simply act as a pillow for your husband as he tried to sleep off the throbbing pain.

a/n. um so my previous post on this topic blew up and i’m so so grateful so i thought i’d expand a little on this hc for anyone that was interested. rambled a bit towards the end but i hope you still like it!! love you lots xxx

#— toru!! #gojo drabbles #satoru #gojou satoru #gojou satoru x you #gojo headcannons #gojo fluff #gojou satoru x reader #satoru gojo #gojo jjk #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #satoru drabbles

[senseichaos]

Hey, can you have a Lucifer going down on a female reader until she’s completely over stimulated? Trying to push him away, him using his magic to keep her still that sorta think? TIA🤤

Your wish is my commannndddd!

IMAGINE

"Amh.. Luci s'.." Your words get swallowed up by another moan that goes through your body, legs trembling as Lucifer's hand keeps them open with a strong grip. A blush goes over your face when his eyes peek up at you as he works his tongue against your clit, circling the sensitive bud at a tantalizing pace that makes you go dizzy.

You pull your blanket to your face, lower lip trembling as the pleasure from Lucifer's tongue continues to go through you. Gasping, you feel Lucifer's tongue dip into your hole, the pleasure from the action causing you to squirm and whimper loudly in an embarrassed pleasure.

"Duckling.." you hear him mumble into you, the vibrations causing you to continue trembling. "It's not nice having you squirm when I'm treating you, hm? Remember this is a punishment," oh you remember all right. You'd accidentally ripped a hole in one of Lucifer's expensive shirts, he wasn't mad (he's never mad) but he was definitely looking for that opportunity to punish you all the same; his punishment was simple, he was going to eat you out as many times and make you cum as many times as he pleases.

So far, he is doing a fucking good job at doing just that.

"Sorry! It's just so dirty.."

He chuckles, the vibrations making your cunt clench around nothing.

"That's just how I like it, silly duck. Now stay still for me, hm?" He asks, and under his soft yet authoritative gaze nodding without any thought but his beautiful lips as they kiss against your clit.

as Lucifer laps his tongue against your clit whilst his fingers massage into your thighs, you feel your first high begin to tighten inside of you. Once again feeling your body tremble as you bite your lower lip, closing your eyes shut tightly whilst Lucifer puts his oral skills to good use. You press the sheets to your mouth, letting out a high pitched whimper when your thighs threaten to close around Lucifer's head. He doesn't allow it, though; he makes sure to keep your thighs open nice and wide for him even if that means using a large amount of force.

"Lucifer! Careful or m'!" You moan, the knot in your stomach itching to unravel your orgasm.

"Mhm?"

"M' gonna cum!" You cry, and Lucifer chuckles, nibbling his sharp teeth against your clit as his tongue draws circles against it. With that movement you are inched to your high, the knot inside of you unraveling so hard you squirt a little. But Lucifer doesn't stop, he continues to eat you up, taking what he wants from your choicest of fruits. He doesn't care that you squirted on his chin, he doesn't care that tears are beginning to fall down your cheeks, he continues to lap up all of you. He's determined to do as he chooses.

"Daddy! S'too much..!"

Lucifer laughs, sucking against your swollen clit for a moment before withdrawing, mouth pressed to your mount. "Well, you should have considered that before ripping Daddy's shirt, hm? Be a good duckling or I'll make you cum even more than I plan," He says, a sadistic glint in his eyes as he kicks a long strip against your entire pussy.

"But I'm gonna fall asleep.." you whine, holding the sheets of the bed to yourself tightly. You try to push him away, you really do! Even going as far as to shock him on the arm with your (weak) powers. Though, this all doesn't appease Lucifer. If anything it makes him more ravenous to eat all of what he can from your pussy. This all amounts to his own powers keeping you still, a throb of a sort of ache-y pain entering you.

"Well if you do, I guess I'll just keep going. I didn't teach you to resist punishments like this, little ducky.."

Once again, he dips his tongue into your hole, fucking his tongue into you for a moment before going back to teasing your clit. It just goes like that, he'll suck, bite, lick your clit and then fuck you open with your tongue.

You can't even begin to recall how many times you came. 5? 8? 10!!?? By the time you awoke your pussy felt moderately used. And yet it was all worth it when you awoke nestled against Lucifers chest, his light snores filling your ears.

(not proof read!)

#proship #senseichaos #antishippers dni #senseichaosdrabbles #proship fanfiction #hazbin hotel #lovely anon #senseichaosanons #request #hazbin hotel smut #lucifer x reader smut #lucifer imagine #lucifer x reader #lucifer smut

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

analyzing some images (for fun)

so i found this pair of promotion images for good omens season 1 on the good omens reference library server and it’s hooked me so so bad im having feelings about it. we’re analyzing them now. not really for meta purposes just fun to see the parallels and differences :)

everything under the cut !

unique traits

aziraphale:

1) his plank background. its older, its crisp, it smells like wood from the screen. mmmm

2) the pencil shavings at the bottom. he does a lot of writing honestly, so i like this. also adds a messy and cozy vibe he always seems to have in that shop…. i like that blessed shop fr

3) his SUSHI. little soy sauce drops near it too—just the right amount of deliberate mess. our first formal introduction to aziraphale in the present day and beginning the Tomfoolery just happens to have sushi... i watch that scene and i go “yeah, that sums up aziraphale i suppose” very nicely. (they dont have sushi Up There) (im literally never gonna forget that)

4) the ray of light shining on the scene. tiny thing, but a bit of the heaven is peeking through..it also sort of blurs the whole image but i think thats just me.

5) and we’ve saved the best for last: the big whopper. the nice and accurate prophecies of agnes nutter, witch. I LOVE THAT BOOK!!!!!!! i cant remember if that ring stain was there but if it isnt in the show on the actual book i’d assume thats to add that ‘thy cocoa doth grow cold’ thing. ALSO. you know what’s being used as a bookmark in the pages?? a check for the ritz. he bookmarked their one chance for living . with a ritz check . MMMMMM. my GOD. that means so much to me even if i cant convey it in words. he KEEPS THE CHECKS 😭😭😭😭😭😭

crowley:

1) let me get my favorite out of the way. crowley’s glasses have fire in their reflection. we’ll talk about the glasses themselves later but the REFLECTION IN THEM. fucking FIRE, BOOKSHOP fire, PAIN, SRIVING THROUGH THE M-25, HELL, I DONT KNOWIM HAVING FEELINGS!!! i do believe this is a bookshop fire reference though, the flames feel too Familiar. the lengths people will go to to attack others 🤧

2) the leather seat background!!!!!!! probably meant to look similar to the bentley’s seats but i cant recall their texture, exactly. maybe just meant to convey modernness—unsure. still, its there <3

3) the tiny little crisp plant </3 its trying his damned best to stay perfect. it might a specific plant that means something, but i cant tell at thsi angle, so i’ll assume its a mini version of the ficus he keeps in the flat. its so SMALL and sitting in ANOTHER POT i CANT

4) the snake slithering!! black and red (in this image it looks orange lol) bellied scales!!!! slithering there, chilling, being crowley, showing hints. love it

5) QUEEN RECORD!!!!! TRYING TO OVERRIDE IT WITH TCHAIKOVSKY!!!!!! the tape over it does a reminisence to crowley’s handwriting, but in a clean ‘this made made to be a font’ way. not exactly just yet. ive become a fan of tchaikovsky recently. amazing darling wonderful crowley, trying to push the rock up the hill for eternity 😞

6) HIS LITTLE DEMON KEY THING. HOLDING A TINY LITTLE BENTLEY CAR KEY OHHH. thats how he doesnt lose the tiny key despite probably not needing one of those. and he CHOSE that intentionally probably. little wings and red circle….URGHHHHHHH

similarities

mmmmm now here’s the good shit. similarities! i’ll bullet point most of them but ohhhhh. ohhhh these. i’ll go from top to bottom as best i can….

1) one of their shoes, obviously. crowley has them iconic snakeskin shoes while aziraphale has his old loafers like the old loafer he is /pos

2) chateauneuf de pape wine bottle labels! (crowley’s is under his glasses, aziraphale’s is next to his shoe). oh my fucking god theyre MATCHING. the labels are old, battered, of course labeling the drink’s age, but mmmmm its these tiny details that get me going….

3) their respective drinks in their mugs—crowley’s a black mug coffee (or what looks to be coffee) and aziraphale’s angel mug tea (or what looks to be tea). i think about that mug sometimes. where did he get that from?? mystery for the ages….

4) their glasses, of course. crowley’s iconic sunglasses and aziraphale’s reading spectacles. i cant really tell the reflections in this pair, but if its supposed to be fucking fire, im done with this. im giving up forever

5) their own watches! aziraphale’s is visibily older while crowley’s is visibly modern, but they function just the same. also, crowley’s is set to 2:56:59 (presumably PM), which is around the time we see when crowley starts checking his watch at warlock’s birthday party. its almost time for disaster to strike!! 😃

6) and finally….their ties!! they have their own ties!!! or more accurately, neck accessories, but i digress. i mesn i assume its crowley’s neck tie, because the fabric looks… different. either way, crowley’s neck thingie is very whispy and aziraphale has his funky little bowtie i love so much,,,

okay thats it. there’s no canonical implications, any fantheories, none of the sort. just saw a pair of images and my mind went GOD DAMN!!!!!! theyre very important to me. i need to look at more promo material 😔

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable spouses #dont have an analyzing tag so. this is it for now