#the complexity of relationships get me

[burning-thistles-bt]

Hi! First of all, love the AU and fic, I've been keeping up with it for about a year now and I love seeing new updates on it! Secondly, I was wondering two things... #1. Is Adderfang still Thistlestar's mentor in this AU? I don't believe we ever saw much of their Mentor-Apprentice relation in the fic if it existed, (likely because Adderfang hates Thistlestar so much xD) what was that like? Do you think Adderfang's reaction being so extreme was not only because he loves his daughter, but also because he felt betrayed at his former apprentice's actions? and #2. In Leopardstar's honor, a timeline is given for Mosspelt's pregnancy and relationship with Frogleap, and through another wonderful oversight by the Erins, Mosspelt apparently was pregnant while she was still an apprentice, from Frogleap, a cat who was ~4 years old. She gave birth around the same age as Spottedleaf had the Firesibs! I know that the BT timeline is a bit altered from canon, and that the fic pre-dates some later retcons from the series, like Volewhisper surviving. Is Frogleap having a predatory relationship with Mosspaw/pelt a thing that happened in BT? If so, what was that like for Mosspelt? Did she ever get any support in her hardships? did Dawnflower join the rebels out of a disdain for Thistlestar, knowing he has done terrible things like her father did as well? Anyways, that's about all. Sorry for such a long message! Thanks for putting so much time into your work and making such a great fic, and for taking the time to read my questions!!

yes Adderfang is still Thistlestar's mentor! i don't believe if it was ever mentioned in the fic or any one-shots, but he is lol. Adderfang's reaction was so extreme because Spottedpaw was his Precious Baby Girl and he very abruptly realized during the reveal how awful it was that someone in a position of power was getting with an apprentice (he would not have been so aggressive if this was a situation with a different apprentice and warrior---for example, Whitepaw and Goldenflower, or something. he cared and got protectively angry so much because it was his own daughter affected). the fact that Thistlestar was his own apprentice honestly didn't even cross his mind until it was over, and then it was just a very angry thought process of "i never taught him to be like that! (did i teach him to be like that?)" (yes, he taught him to be like that---not a predator, but he taught, unintentionally, Thistlestar to be more aggressive. remember, Adderfang was a part of Thistleclaw's groups that attacked kittypets for no reason.)

in BT canon, Mosspelt and Frogleap's relationship isn't touched upon much because I didn't realize how young Mosspelt was and also I'm not sure how much their age gap changes with the condensed timeline in BT lol. But! But! There are always hidden inappropriate relationships in the background (like, WillowTawny, although that's not really in the bg, but compared to SpottedThistle, GrassThistle, and DawnFinch, its not as prominent. also ShadeThistle is a bg bad-relationship. and i believe Cloudrunner x Morningflower would be one too, and there's definitely more. and future ones, like Snowbird x Scorchfur), so I do think Frog and Moss could be as it is in accidentally implied canon, where Frog groomed Moss. after all, most of RiverClan was pretty accepting of Thistle getting with Grass, weren't they? well, in general, it is---or was---unfortunately an acceptable part of clan culture. I do think that there is a multitude here; I think Frogleap is not as manipulative as Thistlestar, and cared more genuinely about Mosspelt and her emotions. While that does not make what he did okay AT ALL, I think Mosspelt did not experience as much negative emotions about the situation, and she doesn't perceive herself as being preyed upon. There are real life relationships like this, and they're definitely not ideal, and there's issues, but sometimes it just works out like that. i think there might have been issues down the line though, if Frogleap had survived, and Mosspelt had grown more as a person and developed differences in her personality than to how she was as an apprentice/young warrior. I'm getting "they died a happy couple, but if he had lived, she would have grown up and become more independent and he'd get upset at the changes, and then she'd divorce him" vibes

Dawnflower was one of Thistlestar's victims! it's mentioned a few times in passing that Thistlestar would 'go on patrol' with Dawnpaw, or look at Dawnpaw. actually, most young she-cats in RiverClan (Silverstream, Grasswhisker, Vixenleap, Shadepelt, Dawnflower, Primroseleaf, Feathertail, etc.) experienced some level of "creepiness" with Thistlestar. Dawnpaw/flower was one of the ones that Thistlestar would definitely say a bunch of weird shit to and touch her, but they never did anything past that. still, Dawnflower was scared shitless by him and terrified he'd do something she didn't want to him. she also just hated how aggressive/annoying Thistle and Lightning's rule was, so she left the instant she had an out (LeopardClan), though she was also really scared to leave her family/home behind, and worried for her siblings/friends. Dawnflower also definitely thinks of Frogleap (her dad) as a good warrior, and has no idea his and Mosspelt's relationship would have been similar to what she was experiencing (though, again, Mosspelt viewed Frogleap's attention as a much more positive thing, sort of like how Spottedleaf did with Thistlestar at the beginning. Meanwhile, Dawnflower was just always scared of his attention)

it's interesting, definitely, that Mosspelt stood against Thistlestar and what he'd done, yet never saw that she was victim to something similar too... though, to be fair, she joined LeopardClan because she supported Leopardfur as a close friend (through Frogleap) and knew Leopardfur was being unjustly accused, not necessarily out of a hatred of Thistlestar himself. much to think about...

#the complexity of relationships get me #i want to keep rambling about every single riverclan cat now #we love the long messages!!! questions get us thinking and its fun! #lolling response #anon ask #asked and answered #burning thistles #burning thistles au #mosspelt #frogleap #dawnflower #thistlestar #thistleclaw #leopardclan #adderfang

[gunstellations]

In the world I love

_

In a different world

#vanitas no carte #vanoé #doomed yaoi save me...save me doomed yaoi #play on the opening song + visual sequence + the fact that vanitas could only ever be happy in an alternate universe also #+ the other fun little fact we learn about him from episode one #i have complex feelings about this anime #its pretty damn fucking good #but im a leeeeetle iffy about the way it developed the female characters.....they had potential and i was actually excited to #to see some good solid female characters even the respective romances with their l/i's felt good at the start #not jeanne obv. they fucked up a perfectly good woman and her whole dynamic with v could have gone sooo well without the reall #really forced flirting behaviour.... i liked the more serious relationship they had it made me actually not hate what they had at the start #but yknow. whatever. sorry about going off about another ship on this but im just....i love jeanne a lot. i wish they didnt do her so dirty #my girl deserves better than this asshole #you want white/black dynamics??? let her get married to domi and then we can talk #i enjoy this show and i enjoy vanoe a lot #very yuriyaoi if you ask me #my art

[armoralor]

please know that anytime I see you complain about toxic sapphic ships I will make them even more toxic. I want them covered in each other's blood and snarling. I want them filled with rage and hate, seconds away from killing the other. Give me the most toxic fucked up women that make each other worse.

#wolfwren #sabine wren #shin hati #ahsoka #i love soft wholesome ships too so don't get me wrong #but fiction is a sandbox for us to play with complex emotions and relationships #it doesn't have to be watered down or sanitized #it's allowed to be fucked up #please grow up #star wars lesbians #sapphic star wars #star wars wlw

[fictiongods]

Literally all of Faiths mommy issues could have been fixed if she literally just got to meet Jenny Calendar

#I’m only mostly joking on this #like I don’t think she’d necessarily stay on the ‘good’ side but it would certainly be so much more complex #and it would be more to add into Buffy and Faith not getting along because of Buffy and Jenny’s complex relationship #PLUS MORE JENNY CALENDAR LITERALLY CALL ME GILES CAUSE IM IN LOVE WITH HER #and you know Jenny would NEVER EVER let Faith live alone in that motel #clearly I am completely sane about this and barely even think about this #obviously #faith lehane #jenny calendar #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer

[bloomfish]

It's so weird that in angel s5e2 they do a little flashback to Spike's blaze of glory moment in the last episode of Buffy... but they leave out Buffy saying "I love you". It's such a blatant omission, the ONLY omission from that scene, that it feels totally deliberate and kind of dishonest. Considering a lot of the Spike and Angel moments in S5 revolve around their jealousy and rivalry towards each other, and a LOT of that is to do with Buffy like... Why would you leave it out? It's a pretty big moment for Spike's character in general.

As far as I recall they don't even mention it, they just mention the fact that Spike and Buffy have had a lot of sex compared to bangel's ONE disastrous time (that they remember) but it does kind of cheapen it for Spike. A big motivation for him not leaving LA could have been him not wanting to hold Buffy to her words, since he clearly doesn't believe that she loves him (even though she does, as per Whedon). He presumably thinks she only said that to make him feel better in his final moments, because she wouldn't have to actually follow through on her words. Which is sad. But it makes much more sense as a motivation than the weird 'it cheapens my moment of glory' excuse like since when does spike give a shit about that

#spuffy #idk missed opportunity for sure. maybe it's brought up later in the season? I can't remember rn #but they do kind of shunt spike's complexity and make his character all about angel's feelings #though don't get me wrong i LOVE their fight over the cup #i love the symbolism of spike being able to hold the cross while angel can't. #spike pointing out that he fought for his soul while angel had to be forced to change is sooooo cathartic #because that's the thing about angel is he's not inherently a good person. he has to continually fight to be better #he's the faith to spike's buffy #btvs thoughts #btvs #anyway their continued insistence that buffy and angel are soulmates that transcend any other relationships #is rly detrimental to both buffy and angel as characters imo. as well as any other relationships they might have #cordelia and spike who actually put in the work to get to know them as people are automatically relegated to second fiddle #dont get me wrong i love bangel for the angst but i dont buy that buffy will always be in love w the same guy she barely knew at age 16

[heartsgettingwiser62]

So when are we as a fandom going to stop pretending that jonathan byers isn't one of the best written and most interesting characters in st

#no cause it PAINS me to see how underrated he is #the amount of angst this guy has?? all the complicated feelings inside him??? his relationships with other people??? #the way he loves and hates and manages to survive??? i could write for hours all the internal dialogue going through his head #he's such a complex character and we just brush him off???? i genuinely dont get how hes not more popular #'but steve is hotter 🥺🥺' i am going to rip my skin off. #anyways thats it that was the rant #im rewatching s1 and istg i want to EAT his character #i need more content abt him i need discussion i need a statue of jonathan byers in every corner of every city #is that going a bit too far? #naahh #anyways it wont happen but s5 jonathan protagonist plsplspls im begging you #jonathan byers #stranger things #stranger things 5 #st5 #st #jancy #byler #<<<target audience

[sn0wbat]

well what family doesn't keep a secret vampire family member hidden deep in in the basement /s

EDIT: Rest of the comic is now under the cut!

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BONUS:

#first fullpage comic in my new sketchbook woooo 🎉 #poor rune. accidentally hibernated for 20 years and he didn't even do it on purpose. #you can tell by the fact that he went to nap in his freakin pajamas #as you do when you go to sleep #but then this time he just. didn't wake up. and his family assumed it was on purpose. so they just let him??? #oops????? #yes munch is a surname that's been used in norway - especially in towns that had historically had contact with german merchants. fun fact #so while his dad was originally literally a windenburg townie from the sims 4... it still works #oh yeah the way i am handling language in this comic. do keep in mind it is set in norway and the canon language is actually norwegian #so while any dialog usually gets masked with english so you may actually understand wtf people are saying #text on objects do not get translated. because they're a part of the world and stuff. it's the way people see them. that makes sense right #(don't even get me started on my complex relationship with written norwegian. long story short: it is a pain) #EDIT: now with the full comic under the readmore

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Those Beyond The Wall

sequel/companion to The Space Between Worlds, set a decade later

character-focused sci-fi set in an area divided in two, the rich protected city on one side and everyone else in the post-apocalyptic desert

follows a woman who works under the Emperor in Ashtown, keeping the peace

when mangled bodies start showing up with seemingly no murderer, she’s tasked with finding the cause, and finds out that it’s the result of corruption spanning both cities and multiple worlds

explores oppression and messy revolution, police violence and apartheid

bi & polyamorous MC

#Those Beyond The Wall #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #space between worlds sequel!!! honestly I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it….. In general I enjoyed it and I think it had #a lot of important things to say but also maybe highlighted some weaknesses(?) in both books? #or - I guess just the fact that the sff stuff (which skews a little more magicy here) is kinda small scope relative to its potential #and more there to serve the plot and characters. Which actually maybe is the point. idk- there's def mixed reviews lol #it has a messy unlikable MC (like actually - when half the weak ass reviews are saying the MC is annoying you know they are Actually a #complex character) and some interesting relationship dynamics #it is pretty solidly a sequel - I wouldnt read this without reading TSBW #cara does show up in here& tbh her characterisation felt quite different to me? unsure how I feel about that? but maybe it's the biased POV #also to be clear: polyam MC; not a polyam romance or anything #(there's - kinda a romance? or various feelings floating around and she 'ends up' with someone. feel like i would have liked that to end #more subtley but that's probably my personal taste lol) #man some of the 1 star reviews of this are kinda.....just racist though. can we get some measured critique in here #as I said i am not entirely sure how I feel about it but not quite in a way I can articulate.... idk! i think it's worth the read tho #it's maybe one of those revolutions that feels solved a little too easily in the end - but then also is it solved or is it just that the #narrative has to end at a certain point

[angelsarecomputers]

I know it’s been said but I find it so weird when people demonise Dora. The one interaction that we get with her- the REAL her- in the whole game, she is extremely patient, despite the fact that Harry is calling her in the middle of the night and asking creepo shit like ‘are you sleeping naked’. We can infer through context clues that this has probably happened multiple times before, and yet she still knows no signs of ill-will towards Harry- she just seems tired and concerned.

And it would be completely within her right to be angry at him for harassing her, as well! Knowing how volatile Harry can be, perhaps she even learned through fear not to confront him. And yet, there still seems to be this perception that, out of the both of them, DORA was the abusive one, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary! It’s not even that I don’t think she wasn’t at least slightly abusive, given Harry’s disabilities and their class differences, but what I am saying is that it was likely mutual, and that, out of the two of them, Harry was worse.

Their relationship probably got horrible and toxic towards the end, of that I have no doubt. What I don’t get is why the fandom seems to believe that Harry, as he currently is, is in any way capable of viewing the relationship objectively. There’s ample evidence that he was violent, frequently misogynistic, and that the experience gap between him and Dora was significant, and yet people still take his worst thoughts at face value. That she’s a ‘war criminal’, that’s she’s a goddess- people seem to think Harry’s deification of her is the main issue, and not the opposite; his virulent hatred towards Dora, towards ‘Revacholian women’.

It just boggles me that people are so willing to believe that Harry was the only one truly hurt- that Dora’s decision to leave was made lightly. We don’t know exactly what happened, and what glimpses we do get are filtered horribly through Harry’s grief, but they were in a relationship for more than a decade! They were planning to get married! I don’t think Dora just up and left for Mirova one day- the way the dream conversation goes seems to suggest they hadn’t been together for a while.

There are so, so many things said during the final dream that are probably just Harry’s self-hatred masquerading as Dora/Dolores- and while I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of it did come from Dora, at other points in their relationship, I think it’s pretty obvious that the final dream is meant to be a confused muddle of Harry’s memories and grief. Why else would she appear as Dolores Dei? But, while no one ever explicitly says it, I feel like a lot of people want to believe that the way things are during the last dream is how they were in real life. That Dora really was cold and cruel to Harry- when in real life she appears as just the opposite, despite what he puts her through.

#and I know the answer as to why people do this is misogyny and also that we simply don’t get to know her very well on her own #and trust me I am well aware that Harry was also hurt badly by Dora. I am in no way trying to villainise him here #their relationship is obviously very complex and multifaceted with both sides being wrong at different points which is extremely realistic #that’s why I love it so much. what I don’t understand is why people will shelve these discussions in favour of woobifying harry #and once again I know the answer is just misogyny and that fandom hates complex female characters #ESPECIALLY if they’ve hurt a male character in some way. but the amount of flat surface level takes I’ve seen about these two… #let’s try and do a bit better instead of just boiling shit down to ‘Harry bad’ or ‘Dora bad’ yeah? #harry du bois #dora ingerlund #harrydora #dolores dei #disco elysium #de meta

[aroanthy]

the symbolism of revolutionary girl utena is key to understanding what it’s even trying to say narratively and thematically. if you remove the symbolism, if you remove the ways in which the narrative obfuscates itself and abstracts what it’s saying, then what it is saying changes dramatically. if rgu was like ‘yeah lol and did you guys know that incest is bad’ or ‘maybe gay people are good’ or ‘hey did you know that csa victims are Real and Alive and Have Interiority’— like those are all paraphrases of things that it says, but the way that it chooses to say them is so powerful and conveys so much nuance and complexity that those simplistic statements don’t. it provides an incredibly meaningful commentary on the way that systemic violence and abuse are covered up, codified, made part of our culture that supposedly resents those things. it’s examination of incest, the incest taboo and how that impacts incest victims— it’s all so incredibly considered and layered because the show chooses to convey what it’s saying through symbolism, through its metatheatrical framing, through allegory. it retains the reality of these issues; it shows them to us only when we’ve already bought into the system’s lies to make a point about how that operates, how that works to make us all complicit in that violence. nanami. nanami.

dont even get me started on how the movie uses its symbolism to demonstrate how the abuse anthy and touga experienced is simultaneously built into the world and culture they exist in, and always obfuscated and abstracted for the sake of their abusers (also specifically the way that it engenders shame and prevents people from seeking help. rgu is so damn good at understanding how and why people don’t ‘do what they should’ in abusive situations: the systems in place don’t fucking work bc they are an extension of the system built upon that abuse). anthy is the model in all the paintings, the symbol of so many undesirable things, the canvas on which they are painted. her likeness is used as an approximation for all of these awful things, many of which are a part of her in a way, but such that her interiority, her feelings, are never regarded, never seen, never understood. she’s the model. akio is never explicitly named as her painter.

#messy post once again just dumping thoughts #obfuscation abventures #< literally my thesis on the show. it would be peanuts to me without its layers of visual complexity its symbolism and allegory #its bonkers filmmaking. i mean my god editing rgu amvs gives you a greater appreciation for how they edited that show and MAN #the transfeminism hole video essay haunts me always. aou is anthy’s body!!!!!!!!!! the use of the static…. #the way that rgu uses looping and repeating shots and abrupt cuts (same w music) the pace it continually disrupts with its editing #its sooooo….. gahhh. ep 33. head in hands #rgu i love you rgu im sorry people would suggest you’d be better if you were more normal and conventional #this is why utena is a freaks only show. you have to go apeshit about the implications of shadow girl relationships to get it #didn’t even mention c-ko on this post like that SAYS something #dais.txt

[plutonicbees]

impulse '95 is a really good comic run bc the homies r just out here having mommy issues

#its good for other reasons too and all #but the way the series portrays complex familial relationships strikes something within me fr #thinking abt preston recognizing the generational cycle of abuse w his mom and just being relieved that nothing was his fault #there are a million things i could say abt cissie and her mom in these tags rn #but her being told 'you look like you know how it feels to have someone put you down all the time' in her first appearance sticks w me #bart who looks just like his mom but barely gets to spend time with her or know much about her #do u think he ever just looks in the mirror and remembers what it felt like to be called sunshine #bart allen #impulse #dc comics #cissie king jones #preston lindsay #impulse 1995 #meloni thawne

[s0fter-sin]

sometimes i think about how wild a mw2 movie would be if they just dropped soapghost right in the middle with no warning or marketing. like imagine it being beat for beat the exact same, it’s your typical military action movie, promoted as just another military action movie then after they get to the safe house, ghost has to patch up soap and he’s still out of it, overwhelmed by the betrayal and everything he’s seen and ghost needs to ground him and keep him in the present, to remind him that he’s alive and safe so he kisses him and they have sex. the tantrums and the rants and the “ReAl sOLdiErS aRen’t liKe ThAt”, god i can taste it and it’s delicious

#theres never any talk of a relationship or sexuality crisis its just this moment of humanity and comfort to bring soap back to himself #real any time you need me by thirteenbullets vibes #theyre not the type of men to have something as normal as a relationship #theyre just everything to each other they know that and its enough #ghost can be such a complex character if you let him #this guy whos rejected his humanity has buried himself and become a ghost #willingly digging himself out of the grave to stop soap from digging his own #like how are there not more explicitly homoerotic military movies that actually pull the trigger (heh) on the homo part of the eroticism #you know how if movies have even a hint of queerness they wring it out for every drop of respresentation they can get #theres a hundred articles and its mentioned in every interview and it all journalists ask those actors #imagine it being a complete secret and everyone expects just a typical action movie #then boom battle buddy gay sex #like if it were a male and fenale character you would see that scene coming a mile away so why cant it happen with two guys #just doing it is the only way of normalising it #i still see men saying they act like brothers which is denial so strong even egypt is impressed #but imagine the general public expecting this manly man military movie then getting hit with the alone mission flirting and denying it #then getting smacked in the face with tender wound care and grounding love making initiated by the edgelord they were using as a self inser #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #cod mw2 #we’re a team. ghost team

[uncanny-tranny]

Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️

That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.

If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:

Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest

Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.

Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.

I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:

Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)

Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle

Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement

Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:

When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation

Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks

Stretch after binding

Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest

If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method

Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it

In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #long post #if anybody has other tips or ideas then feel free to speak up #this is what i did before officially binding and what i have seen other trans people do in lieu of getting a 'real' binder #it did suck when i was coming out because i don't think my family had any idea how *their* hang-ups with... me as a person... affected me #and i think a lot of people get their preconceived notions or headcanons of you stuck in their head to the point that it is Reality #i think part of why my dad started actually *trying* to accept me was him realizing that i was actively hiding things from him... #...like he loves me and our relationship is fine now but i'm not going to pretend like he didn't massively blunder after i came out #and if it turns out that your parents don't ever come around (gd forbid) then you aren't obligated to keep them #you don't choose your parents but you can choose your family i think #i always always hope that parents come around to their child/ren and the reality of who they are but i recognize how messy it all is #anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them #i have many complex feelings about this and that's my own baggage. i hope i haven't put words into your mouth or assumed anything too much #i am sending you best wishes and care. this too shall pass💛

[backjustforberena]

Viserys & Rhaenys throughout the years.

#everyone who knows me #knows i get emotional about this relationship #ITS SO COMPLEX AND TRAGIC #and so subtly done #the breakdown of it all #the way neither of them wanted this #from the first to the last. from family to stangers to family to The Stranger #from being together and not needing to speak #to being far apart and being unable to speak #eve best #rhaenys targaryen #house of the dragon #paddy considine #viserys targaryen

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry: #the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry. #and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think. #like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that. #and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her? #whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it? #how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions. #(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.) #when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know. #again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me. #on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything? #is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid. #either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over. #i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways) #but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about. #which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

Radiostatic au where Vox went to Envy(where he fucking belongs)and despite being 5 levels below him and it being physically impossible for them to even meet each other, Vox still has this insane stalking hatecrush on Alastor. Sinners can't go to different levels but that doesn't mean he can't send his drones to go keep up with that outdated bitch on the topside of Pride

#vox spent like 50 years only able to know about al through the radio until he built the tech to get video 5 lvls up #val and vox have the wildest long distance relationship #local transgender shark was so prideful he ended up in a wasteland instead of an aquarium #vox went to pride cuz alastor was already there and thus would fuel is envy complex #otherwise he just would've actually went to envy #i think val belongs in pride tho #i don't think he's actually all that lust #he's more pride gluttony to me #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel alastor #radiostatic #alastor the radio demon #vox the tv demon #envy overture au