#the immediate “go pick up some trash” makes it funny to me

[icarusbetide]

george washington to alexander hamilton, january 25, 1777:

"Captain Alexander Hamilton, of the New York company of artillery, by applying to the printer of this paper, may hear of something to his advantage."

#round 2 of outdated memes #i know that's right #the immediate “go pick up some trash” makes it funny to me #and that man did NOT let go #he said “no you're staying here” sorry bitch no field command for you #alexander hamilton #george washington #hamilton #historical hamilton #amrev #meme #quote

[tervaneula]

u said leoichi drabble prompt request. consider. one injured and the other protecting them and then the injured one has to calm them down bc 'they're okay, really, promise, rest now'

OKAY SO this fused with a ghost of an idea I've had for a while and it ended up being a bit more serious than the prompt called for and a lot longer than just a drabble. (It's ~1120 words.) CW: blood and injury

Also I made a silly header thing I don't know what to do with, so I'm putting it here since this fic doesn't come with art of its own :'3

“Yui, I’m okay–” 

The rabbit turns his head to look at him, furious. 

“I heard your shell crack, Leonardo, and I'm not an idiot! Now stay down and let me handle this!” 

He falls quiet for a moment before redirecting his glare towards their adversary and then adds a muted, “Please.” 

There's no compromising with Yuichi in this state, apparently, and Leonardo stays right where he got crushed between metal claws and the concrete, splayed on the ground next to those very same claws which had gotten swiftly cut from the wrist for their transgressions.

He does roll onto his side to get his body weight off his shell, and yeah, alright, one or more of the old cracks that never healed properly must have split open again. It's tough to breathe and his back feels… His kimono is sticking to his shell and his back feels wet now that he's paying attention, and that. That is not good. 

Just his luck to run into a massive mecha wreaking havoc on an otherwise lovely day, huh. He wasn't even supposed to be on patrol and thus is embarrassingly swordless. 

Good thing that his date and their resident samurai always carries his. 

The slider watches as Yuichi does quick work of the metal hunk's wiring behind its knees, his frighteningly sharp katana slicing through the cables like butter. The mech falls with a ground-shaking rumble, unable to rise again, arm flailing as it tries to catch the rabbit. It's no use, Yuichi is much smaller and faster – and as soon as he reaches the mech's head, it's already rolling. The construct immediately loses power and Yuichi wrenches the windowed hatch in its chest open. Turns out there's no pilot, just a program-operated dashboard, and he makes sure that none of the controls are functional after he's done with them. 

Leonardo thinks he could watch Yuichi trash villains all day long, he's practically mesmerised by the strength hidden in that soft frame despite his shell throbbing unpleasantly in tandem with his heartbeat. He sighs, lovestruck. 

As his final move, Yuichi thrusts his katana into the heart of the mecha and Leonardo sees a spray of ink-black oil splash all over Yuichi's face and the front of his kimono. It makes him laugh and he realises his mistake too late, his lungs struggling to draw breath again as he finally gets hit with the pain, his body trying to stop him from moving; from causing any more damage. Shit, shit, shit. 

He had hoped he wouldn’t need to bother any of his brothers today since he was supposed to spend the whole day with Yuichi but he knows to pick his battles, now. He opens the comm link embedded in his prosthetic, contacting someone who he knows will pick up. 

“Che~ello!” comes the cheerful answer in just a few seconds, and Leonardo can't help but smile. 

“Mikeyyy, hermano, I'm in a bit of a pickle,” he wheezes, feeling the shift in his little brother's energy as soon as he hears the strain in his voice. 

“Leo? Are you okay?” 

“Not really, no,” Leonardo grunts. “Got into a scuffle with some big haywire robot– don’t worry, that’s taken care of. I suspect Donnie will want to scrap it for parts. Um. My shell’s– my shell’s cracked though.” 

Leonardo can vividly imagine the colour draining from Michelangelo's face and it would be funny if he wasn't acutely aware of a broken shell coming with the very real possibility of his innards turning into outnards. 

“I'm calling Draxy. Stay put, I'll get Lee to pick you up.” 

“Right,” Leonardo sighs, the line going out just when Yuichi is finally done with the mech and rushing to his side, face haphazardly wiped from oil. His gaze is sharp as he kneels next to him, sweaty and out of breath, and Leonardo thinks he looks like a knight. Or maybe like a samurai of the old, in this case. 

“There’s my hero,” he coos before Yuichi can get a word out and the rabbit’s brow furrows. 

“Don’t start,” he snaps but his tone softens almost immediately, “I saw you calling someone. It’s bad, isn’t it? It… it looks really bad.” 

“Yeeeah, this kimono is definitely ruined,” Leonardo laments, “unless you know how to, gh, get blood out of corduroy? No? Or the obi?” 

Yuichi stares. 

“A– a shame, really, I did like this one a lot–” 

“Leonardo!” Yuichi interrupts him and grabs his bicep, looking two seconds away from crying. Leonardo frowns. He knows he’s getting a little delirious but he was sincerely trying his best to lift his mate’s mood. 

“Leon, please, you’re rambling. Is someone coming? Can I do anything?” 

“‘m not rambling,” Leonardo grumbles, hissing when he fills his lungs again. “Leo’s coming to get us, Draxy– Draxum will treat the shell. And no, better keep the obi in place until we get to the medbay.” 

Yuichi’s shoulders slump and he sighs, most likely relieved that he’s not going to have to figure out how to deal with a cracked shell. Leonardo does not like the lingering worry in Yuichi’s gaze one bit, though, and he offers him a grin. It’s a little shaky but whatever. 

“Heeey, bunbun. Listen. This is nothing I haven’t been through before. I’ll be fine.” 

Yuichi gives him an honest-to-God kicked-puppy look and Leonardo thinks it’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen in his life. He almost tells him so but Yuichi cups his cheek and his forced grin melts away into surprised silence. 

“I hate seeing you hurt,” Yuichi murmurs, leaning down to press his forehead against Leonardo’s. The slider’s eyes flutter shut and he lifts his hand to hold onto Yuichi’s wrist. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I mean it. I should’ve been more careful.” 

Yuichi huffs and leans away to gently bump their foreheads together. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Maybe, but ’m still sorry. Didn’t want to worry you.” 

“You’re an idiot,” Yuichi says, exasperated. “You should know that at this point, I’ll always worry.” 

Leonardo grins and this time it’s genuine. Breathing in his partner’s scent is like a balm to him, even if it’s tinged with the bitterness of motor oil, even if his body currently thinks that breathing is overrated. Even if he just got called an idiot by none other than said partner. 

“Raincheck on the date?” he mumbles, and finally he gets a chuckle out of the rabbit. Yuichi straightens his back and flicks him on the nose. 

“Like you even needed to ask. Idiot.” 

Before Leonardo can express his displeasure of being called an idiot for a second time there’s the familiar electric hum of a portal opening behind him, and someone whistles. 

“Sheesh, old man. That kimono is definitely ruined.” 

#NOT PROOFREAD I had to stop myself because every time I tried to check this over I kept writing MORE and that's just not sustainable #sdfghhsfghjafsfd #anyway these peepaws gay #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt fanfiction #leoichi #peepaw leo #peepaw yuichi #other characters mentioned + a cameo from #rise leo #future leonardo #future leo #samurai rabbit #usagi chronicles #yuichi usagi #usagi yuichi #tervdraws #tervdrabbles

[weebsinstash]

My Valentino thirst is killing me. I must quench!!!

Combining these two asks so I can babble about both of em at the same time lmao, this is kind of just different ideas all smashed around lol

ALSO CAN I JUST SAY THE ABSOLUTE NERVE OF SHOWING VAL IN THE NEWEST TRAILER BUT NOT HAVING HIM SPEAK 😩 but we can hear Vox so I guess that's something?

- first off, ok, let's just get this out right now: the newest episodes of helluva boss showed that Ozzie can shift his height, THEREFORE THIS MAN IS A SWITCH AND HE'D BE DELIGHTED IF YOU EVER TOPPED HIM SEND POST

Like seriously that's obviously how he can manage to have sex with Fizz despite their extreme height difference, meanwhile, do you guys ever think about the huge height discrepancy between Angel and Valentino in like...., ok. There's literally one specific thing that's been in my head for ages as a "how did that even work or was that just for visual effect". The Addict music video had that shot of Valentino like, you know, behind Angel, but. Like. Angel wouldn't be tall enough to just be bent over even if Val practically bent himself in half, right? Unless I'm remembering Val a lot larger than he actually is, I'm pretty sure angel is over 6ft and Val is like. 10-12 or something?

-Anyways So, saying all that, I think sex with Valentino in general involves him having you set you up onto things like counters or desks or stools or makeup vanities, you get the point. Your standing height is basically like. His waist. And yeah he'd probably be gross about that

-could you EVEN Fucking Imagine I mean it like seriously actually the grossness of it, standing near this nasty motherfucker and you can tell he's bricked up and maybe he's even like deliberately talking to you and shit knowing you're like, you know, in proximity to your boss' absolute rager that you're dying to not look at and he's just, SOAKING in your humiliation and secondhand embarrassment

-I just feel like 99% of interactions with yandere Valentino are him thinking it's cute/funny/sexy/entertaining to fuck with you. Make you embarrassed, make you drunk, make you cry, horny, whatever. He's either fucking with you, wanting TO fuck you, or wanting attention from you. But I've also been thinking about like, what are some more darker things he could do

-partially inspired by myself but do you guys hate people who turn off read receipts and stuff. Imagine the whole "Val gifts you a phone" scenario and then he starts setting the standards of what he actually wants you to do with it, like always having your read receipts on, always answer his texts within a REALLY short amount of time, don't ignore his calls (do you think he'd give you a phone that literally can't ignore his calls like Mammon did to Fizz because like I'm sure that was a throw away gag but, lowkey hot)

Imagine you're just getting to know Val, maybe even a sort of, situationship with him, and he sends you a text, just something super innocuous. I'm talking something like "don't forget you have a shift tonight" or "limos broken down, leaving for the club later than usual", like, something that doesn't outright require some sort of immediate reply, and you hop in the shower and you come back to like a text bomb and 12 missed calls, like obsessive drug addict alcoholic rage escalation from "you there?" "answer bitch" "pick up the goddamn phone" "you better be kidnapped, beaten, or dead right now"

Imagine hopping out of the shower and you had your phone open in the other room and you exit the bathroom in a towel and he's sitting there on your bed and your entire room's been trashed like shits BROKEN and he's, got a cigarette lit and his arms are crossed and he's got your phone in one of his hands , he can clearly see you were in the shower, and instead of apologizing for like going absolutely manic, he just, either, gets gross about how you're wearing a towel and how you got him so worked up and you need to make it up to him, or, he just basically whines that you should've just waited until he was done talking to you to shower

-Val's a yandere who will give you something, break it in a rage to punish you or when he's feeling hurt or betrayed by you, and then replace it with something nicer and more expensive. But then he'll also break things he didn't give you to try and replace everything you own with things he's provided and you'll hate those things, they aren't sentimental to you and maybe not even to your tastes. Oh what's that, you made a new friend? You guys want to Lu Lu Land and he got you a shitty little ring from a carnival game and it's sentimental and important to you? That's cool, don't mind Valentino ruining it or throwing it away the second you take it off and "consoling you" in your grief of "losing it" by getting you a ring from HIM

-genuinely I could see him being one of those guys where if he somehow did manage to pull off enough bullshit to convince you to date him and he's not a total freak, he'd pull some shit like that and then you realize what a huge mistake you've made. he's trying to backpedal and make it up to you but, you've seen his true colors now, and maybe he actually broke something that was really special to you and you really liked him for

-I just don't know how anyone would, realistically, be able to resist Asmodeus in a scenario where he offers you safe harbor from Valentino. A new place to stay rent free? He'd help get you food and clothes and whatever you need? Val would have you so terrorized that, unless you basically had, uh, an unhealthy attachment to him, or insecurity issues, you wouldn't even consider staying with Val over your new "friend". Ozzie is Mr Steal Yo Girl

- i was kinda thinking "how would a yandere Ozzie hypothetically get sex out of you in a scenario where he wants consent" and I feel like he'd just kinda, lovebomb you and maybe manipulate you a little bit and maybe have some blurred ethics on how drunk or high he thinks you're allowed to be while it's still in his definition of consensual. Yeah you said yes to sex with him but you'd taken molly and had some drinks!

Godddd would it be considered gaslighting if, afterwards when you're feeling like embarrassed and regretful, because maybe he's a good friend and you feel it's ruined now, he fakes how remorseful he feels with intentions to, in turn, emotionally manipulate you into thinking he's not as creepy as he actually is. Like, oh gosh, he just seems SO upset over this, can't you let him make it up to you 🥺

- also like. Uh. Having the ol "i liked you as a friend but I was vulnerable and I'm really embarrassed i slept with you even if I liked you so I can't talk to you right now or maybe ever again" reaction with Ozzie would uh. Not work??? It'd be bad??? Like imagine if nothing else you kind of ghost him because you're really embarrassed and insecure and he's like freaking out you were fucking kidnapped or something or WORSE, meanwhile he finds out, like. You're just really embarrassed he saw you naked and couldn't face him and he'd think that's SO CUTE YOU HAVE NO IDEA 🥺❤️

-Ozzie is obviously sex positive and I think you getting flustered and horny and embarrassed would be like his cookies and cream. Even if you have no experience he doesn't mind and he loves to teach you all kinda of things or even just talk about, naughty stuff with you. Imagine he's just like reading a book across the room and suddenly he looks over to you, "hey have you ever had anyone tie you up before? Just curious uwu"

- on the flip side I feel like Valentino needles in at all your insecurities amd with a chubby Readet he'd definitely flip flop between treating you nicely and then mocking you in front of other people. Like, a "good" yandere Val would get incredibly defensive of you as much as he would himself, but one on the meaner end of the spectrum would actively neg you and knock down your self esteem so that it feel really, REALLY good when he finally praises you and flirts with you

-I just picture you offhandedly telling Asmodeus some of the stuff that's happened between you and Val and Ozzies just sitting there, "baby can I be real with you? This guy wants to fuck you so bad he makes himself look stupid" and it's Ozzie's "feedback" that makes you kind of lose your temper with Val one day and, yeah you just deadass repeat some shit like "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" and Val is just AGHAST like where did this ATTITUDE come from. And I picture you kinda get into it, like he kinda sputters a bit but is clearly pissed at you and he gives some like, threat that in full context makes you realize he really DOES have some kind of thing to you. Like it's weird that a THREAT could convey that, he just says some shit like "you better stop running your mouth before I take a paddle to that fat ass of yours" but it's also like, if you're taking potshots at his self esteem and getting personal digs, it's really kind of being let off that he just makes threats and doesn't, like, do something right then and there

You just take a shot of the rest of his drink, "yeah you would like to spank me wouldn't you 😘 you're always commenting on my ass all the time, you don't have to be embarrassed if you like to look" and maybe you like sneak some backhanded compliment in there, before being like, covering your tracks, or sarcastically being like, "ok Daddy love you too 🥰" and giving him a peck on the cheek like really being cheeky with it before you fuck off to another part of the club and then later on when you've sobered up and the Oh Shit What The Fuck Did I Do stage kicks in, you eventually have to give him a refill or something and he's like, oddly silent while you're like a shrinking violet, all bravado just GONE, and at the end of your shift he like, actually beckons you closer and you think you're being punished and he just. Smirks and crosses his legs, "don't get too cocky with me, k sweetie?" and just silently threatening you, but, also, shoving a larger than usual tip directly under the waistband of your pants.

I've also thought about that as well? Like Val shoving tips in your clothes, like in your bra or even in your panties/boxers/whatever as like, a double-sided threat/reward/threatening flirting. You mouth off and tease him about him being thirsty for you and later on he's practically got an entire hand in your bra to leave some 5s there and deliberately grazing your nipples the entire time (swear to God if he pinched I thought I'd go aggressive crazy on his ass)

-but Val saying some shit like you're too gross to be a hooker or a porn star and that's why you just wait tables and later on down the line you've ditched him and you're modeling or shooting like female oriented porn down on the Lust Ring. Lmaoooo Valentino trying to neg you and 6 months later he's being cucked and hating himself as he's cranking it to like softcore porn of a maintenance guy being super nice and respectful to you after making some repairs around your house before eating your pussy and then. Straight up leaving. Vals just over here "why am I even-- this isn't even hot" as he beats his shmeat because he wants to see someone "Break My Choker" you and you just, you didn't even suck the guy off he just rocked up with some tongue action and left like You're Living Your Best Life, Angel Dust is over here like "goddamn I wish I could get paid to just have someone go down on me and leave 😭"

-Ozzie's over here having like safe sex meetings before the porn shoots and making sure everyone is in the right headspace and feeling OK and meanwhile up in Pride you've got shit where like, one of Vals pornstars didn't show and when you briefly enter the set to bring him a lemonade he makes a split second decision to have you restrained and have a train ran on you because he'd rather psychologically scar you then come out of this failed filming session empty handed with wasted money

-I just have this visual of, you're not anything "with" Valentino or Ozzie and, maybe they've encouraged you to be more sexually free, but then you actually start being more adventurous and they're like "oh you know what? Thanks i Extremely Hate this Actually". You're sitting on the couch at the club next to one of them and your phone buzzes and you're answering it, getting kind of flirty sorh whomever is on the other line as your cohort gets more and more jealous, and then you're randomly dropping, "so hey not to be horny but what are you doing tonight? I could use me a deep dick pizza with an extra helping of cuddles afterward" and Val/Ozzie is just, SPITTING HIS DRINK

-like you go from sitting in Vals limo or sitting next to him and he's constantly shamelessly watching like nudes or porn or snaps on his phone right next to you and you're forced to endure that, and one day YOUR earbuds aren't connected properly and Val gets blasted with 5 seconds of something like a male or female or whomever, someone who isnt you, "ugh god I love the taste of you 😩❤️" and he's, the attention is ON, eyes on you IMMEDIATELY, just, "what the fuck was that???"

Imagine you're straight up looking up D/P pics on your phone and suddenly you sense a presence and he's like. You've got Valentino's massive form leaning practically from one end of the couch to the other to look at your phone from over your shoulder/above you. The notoriously narcissistic attention seeking loudmouth drunk just, having been silently whisper quiet watching you for who knows how long, you're not sure if he can even read or see what's going on bit he definitely sees the picture

Goddd can you even think of it, he finds out you're fucking around with someone because he snatches your phone out of your hand as like, a tease, because he saw you looking at dick pics and he's all "oooo, giiiiiirl what have you got HERE", but then he starts going through your entire gallery and all your messages and the smile is wiped off his face. Imagine the like. 30 second pipeline of "teasing you, snatching your phone as a joke, going through your phone, immediately chucking your phone directly at the floor"

Ozzie thinks you're fucking GHOSTING HIM and he's getting PANIC ATTACKS over here because, you know, you make his heart do the flippy thing, meanwhile it's like, nah, Valentino has just shifted into Ultra Possessive "Someone Touched My Shit" Mode and you literally aren't allowed to have a phone or so much as be alone anymore amd the next time Asmodeus is seeing you, it's on Sinstagram, being made to hang off Valentino as he had the picture captioned something about, "some of his bitches he just doesn't like to share"

#yandere hazbin hotel #yandere helluva boss #yandere x reader

[st4rfckerz]

OMGOMG OK SO IMAGINEEEEEEE

Imagine being in a secret relationship with Anakin, theoretically you’re a senator. You got put on a mission together, him basically acting as a guard or someone to support you on the mission. During said mission, you get into an argument that’s cut short due to a meeting or something like that, but he still has to be close to you. A long day of meetings and debates, Anakins eyes piercing into you but completely avoiding you when you look back.

Once the mission is successful, you decide to go to a pub nearby to celebrate. You go with the few others that came on the mission with you, but over time it gets to the point that mainly you and Anakin are alone. AND THEN some guy walks up. I think you can guess what’s gonna happen 🌝. He starts flirting with you, at first you ignore it but you play along when you see the look in Anakins eyes. If he wants to be a prick you can just find another who won’t be, right? He knows your game, but he can’t help the jealousy that tingles in his chest every time the man speaks a word to you.

“Senator ____, I believe it’s time to head back. We have a long ride ahead of us,” he says, his teeth gritted and the expression on his face tells you that he’s fallen into your game (you will in fact have a long ride (do you get it 🌝)).

Immediately he’s grabbing you and not so subtly rushing you out, and you barely enter your hotel before he’s on you.

“Think you’re funny, huh? Flirting with some prick to make me jealous?”

“Did it work?”

“I think you know the answer to that, angel.”

He’s grind you down on to his hips, a hiss leaving his mouth at the contact. Next thing you know you’re lying down on the bed, completely naked as he teases you. It’s just as painful for him as it is for you, but he takes pride in the way you moan and grind down for the most minuscule amount of friction like a bitch in heat.

“Would you be doing this for him?”

He’d hold you down with his gloved hand, the feeling of the leather rough on your skin.

Soon he’d give in and end up bullying your poor pussy into oblivion with his cock, the feeling of him almost becoming too much.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Small hisses and whimpers leaving his mouth as he claims you, proving to you that he is the only one for you. Not some trash that hangs out at bars and tries to pick up girls.

You’re his.

-🪩

SORRY THIS WAS RUSHED AND KIND OF A BLURB BUT I WNATWD TO SEND IT TO UUUU

anon how do you keep thinking of these things.

(also its so cute that you wanted to share this little thought with me i heart u)

he would be soooo ready to take you home with the sole purpose of fucking you until you forget about the guy at the bar. and he's not stopping anytime soon either, he's gonna make you cum with his tongue, his fingers and his cock.

#anon🪩 #nai answers! #anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin #hayden christensen #hayden christensen x reader #st4rfckerz

[lonelywhalien22]

trust me

pairing: bang chan x reader

rating/genre: comfort, fluff, sprinkle of angst

summary: you're having a bad day and your boyfriend chan is there to try and make you feel better.

warnings: reader is low key hella sad in this (take care of yourselves yall <3) + a steamy kiss (very self indulgent ik i'm sorry)

word count: 2.7k

song(s) to listen to while reading: steamroller by phoebe bridgers (reader is hella sad so are we surprised lol), renee's song by bazzi, fall by chloe x halle

note: while i try to tame some bigger fic ideas into submission i'll occasionally polish up + share some of my more decent smaller pieces from years past. pretty sure i wrote this one in the throws of the p*ndemic while struggling with college and feeling hella touch starved...so yeah...enjoy lol <3

————

It was one of those days - one where that funny feeling had bubbled up inside of you, seemingly out of nowhere. You knew it all too well by now, knew its signs and its symptoms. One moment you’d be fine, and then it would happen - a dreaded phone call for an appointment that you could no longer put off, a tedious task at work, a much needed item that you’d misplaced and couldn’t find - sometimes it was all of these things in one day and more, and suddenly you weren’t ok. And as much as you’d try to not let all the frustrations of life get to you, as much as you’d try to hold on to the good, to the light, sometimes bit by bit it would still slip from your grasp until you were tired of trying and there was nothing left inside of you but a dull gray.

You hated when you got in these sorts of moods - used to think there'd be some stage in life, some milestone you could reach, thing you could achieve that would make them go away forever, but you’d survived enough of them by now to know that it was a lifelong battle. There were highs and lows, and today just happened to be one of the lows.

Today also just happened to be one where your boyfriend Bang Chan was supposed to be coming over. His presence was one that so often brought light into your life - fun and laughter and a smile to every situation, but despite having accepted that you were in a sour mood, the thought of him seeing you this way made you feel worse instead of better - like a recluse undeserving of such sweet affection. As if he could hear your thoughts from afar, your cellphone began ringing on the kitchen table, temporarily snapping you right out of your self pity.

“Am I still good to stop by in an hour?" You could practically hear the excitement in his voice, imagining his charming smile immediately, but the warmth in your chest only lasted for a second before you just felt even more upset with yourself. You didn’t wanna burden him with your feelings - tramp all over his joy with your frustration.

"Hey Chan. I'm sorry, but I'm kind of feeling like trash right now." You thought maybe that would be the end of it, hoped that he would read between the lines, but he was completely oblivious, a caring tone seeping into his words as he tried to help you instead.

"Are you sick? I can pick up something for you and bring it by if you want.”

"No, that's not exactly it," you began, struggling to find the words. There was a long pause on the line, and you could hear Chan shifting, as if he was sitting up. You cursed in your head. There was no way he was gonna let this go now - not when you were being so distant. 

“Babe, you know you can tell me anything right?” His use of the nickname made your heart flutter again, gently coaxing you to open up to him - to be honest.

“I know.” 

“Then talk to me.”

“I just…I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“Nothing you say is stupid,” Chan said immediately. “Tell me what’s going on.”

You let out a sigh before nervously continuing. “It’s just…sometimes I’ll get in this really weird headspace and it makes me feel like crap and...I'm just annoyed with myself. I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense...I think maybe I just need to be alone right now," you tried to get the last words out but began to break down a little as you really thought about what you’d said. Something about hearing it out loud made it feel all the more real, your eyes beginning to water and throat beginning to dry up.

“It sounds like you're upset. You sure you don't want me to come over?” 

You took a big breath, trying to calm yourself before speaking again, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t find it in you to say anything else. It felt paralyzing - being stuck between the part of you that just wanted him to be with you and the part that was afraid you’d scare him away forever with your feelings. The more you thought about it the more emotional you got, and you felt a tear run down your cheek before you started to sob silently into the phone.

"Babe? Y/n?” Chan asked, voice becoming laced with concern. 

"Yeah?" It was all you could manage to sob out.

"I'm coming over right now," he said quickly, making the decision for you. You could already hear shuffling sounds in the background as he presumably scrambled to grab his things.

"Give me like twenty minutes ok? And just stay on the line with me please? Can you do that for me?" 

"Yeah. I'm sorry." 

“There's nothing to be sorry for," Chan said softly.

————

In less than twenty minutes you heard a hurried knock on your door. Hanging up on your phone, you pulled yourself off of the couch and shuffled over to the entrance of your apartment, unlocking and pulling open the door to reveal your boyfriend's slightly panicked face.

“Hey…” he whispered gently when he saw you. You moved out of the way and he quickly stepped inside, setting down a bunch of bags before he turned back around and immediately enveloped you in his arms. The warmth of his body pressed against yours easily disarmed you, walls falling down so that all you could think about was his sturdy embrace. 

"I'm sorry,” you mumbled into his chest, trying to look at him. “I didn't mean to worry y-" 

"Hmm. Shush. No apologizing. Just let me hold you for a minute, yeah?" 

You nodded your head against him, silent as you slowly relaxed all the muscles in your body and let yourself really feel his warmth, feel all of the love radiating from his body into yours. He smelled like his shower gel, a hint of spearmint seeping into your lungs as your breathing began to slow and your eyes closed, whizzing thoughts in your head beginning to dissipate one by one. Your fingers curled into the fabric of his black sweater, holding on as if you never wanted to let go, and he let you - staying wrapped around you for an entire minute, just like he said. One of his hands stayed firmly wrapped around your waist while the other went up to start rubbing all the way from your head to the middle of your back, repeating the motion leisurely. You released a sigh of content as he did this, feeling yourself start to calm down, heart rate beginning to slow. Eventually he loosened his arms just enough to pull back a little and look at your tear-stained face.

"Let's sit down and I'll get you some food to eat hmm?" he said quietly, thumb wiping across your wet cheeks. You nodded, feeling a bit like a child as he lead you to your couch and wrapped a blanket around you before getting you some food from one of the bags he brought. When he came back you noticed his hair was a bit wet, presumably still drying from a shower he must have taken right before calling you, strands curling from the dampness. And as you looked down at the container of food he’d placed in your hands you realized it was your favorite meal from your favorite place. He even remembered how you always asked for extra sauce. 

Chan stayed silent as you slowly picked up your fork and began to eat, still sniffling a little. He easily found the remote to your tv, switching it on in a practiced familiarity, and put on one of your favorite movies, letting it play softly in the background before digging in to his own food.

When you’d both finished eating, he silently patted his lap, and you knew without any explanation that he was asking you to lean yourself back into his embrace. You did so shyly, Chan grabbing the blanket and draping it around the two of you before he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you even closer. Finally you relaxed, leaning your head into the crook of his neck and turning slightly so that you could shamelessly wrap your arms around his middle, no longer even focusing on the tv at all. It felt so comforting to be in his arms that your eyes immediately began to close, his embrace luring you to sleep.

————

When you woke up it was dark outside. You blinked a couple times, shifting slightly before realizing that you were still completely wrapped up in Chan’s arms. To your embarrassment, you caught him peeking at you with the softest look on his face, your heart beating a little faster because you’d never been this close to him for so long before. 

“Better?” he asked you simply, thumb moving to rub against your elbow gently.

You opened your eyes a bit wider, immediately beginning to shift up on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I didn't realize how late it was," you said quickly instead of answering his question, feeling guilty as you shifted a little from his embrace. You’d essentially used him as your own personal pillow for who knows how many hours. “I didn’t mean to keep you here like that for so long,” you continued to ramble, but Chan only shook his head in response.

“Y/n. Hey - look at me,” Chan said with a soothing tone. You stopped your shuffling and did as he asked.

“Do you feel better?” he repeated his question from earlier, and you finally nodded a little before picking at the blanket on your lap.

“Yeah. I’m just sorry I wasted your time because of some dumb mood I was in," you responded, annoyed with yourself as you pushed your hair out of your face roughly.

“You know it’s not a crime to feel sad, right?” Chan started gently after a couple beats of silence, clearly trying to find the right words as his thumb continued to lightly rub against your skin. “Even if there isn’t a clear reason - that doesn’t make how you’re feeling any less real.”

“I guess.” You dismissed his words easily, clearly not taking them to heart.

"Why do you always do that?" he asked lightly.

"What do you mean?”

"Talk yourself down. Dismiss how you're feeling,” he elaborated, a little concern in his voice once again. “It makes me worry about you.” 

Your eyes widened in surprise before you looked off to the side. 

“I don’t know, I guess it’s just out of habit.”

Chan tapped your elbow, silently asking you to look at him again. 

"Can I tell you something?” he whispered into the quiet. You nodded curiously.

"I care about you - so much that it scares me sometimes,” he said earnestly, raking a hand through his hair. "You're so thoughtful, so kind, such an amazing listener - you make it so easy for me to be honest about how I'm feeling, and I've never felt more comfortable talking to anyone else,” he continued, looking down a little as he said that last part.

His words made you feel shy all over again, not expecting him to be so open with you. You willed yourself to keep looking at him.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that…I wanna make you feel safe too - safe to share how you’re feeling with me, the good and the bad. Because that’s how you make me feel.” 

“Chan…” you said, lightly smacking his arm in jest as you looked away from him, tears flooding your eyes for a different reason. But he just leaned forward and kissed your temple, pulling you back into his arms gently before continuing.

“Trust me, ok?” Chan asked as you nodded into his chest. “I want you to know that you can always share how you’re feeling with me - even if it’s sad or you don’t think it makes any sense - even if I can’t fix it for you - I’ll always at least be here to listen, I promise. Just don’t hide from me, yeah?”

Tears were falling from your eyes now - not because you were sad, but because Chan’s care for you felt so unconditional, so devoid of judgement - and you’d never known care like that from a partner before. You didn’t have any words to respond in that moment - all you knew was that you wished the two of you could stay on your couch, just like this, forever. 

"I didn't mean to make you cry again," Chan said, a little worried as he saw your expression. "Let me get you some t -”

But you leaned up and kissed him gently, cutting off his words. This wasn't your first kiss, but it was definitely the first that you had initiated. Usually you would just stare at his lips longingly or give the tiniest of hints until he finally caught on to what you wanted, but this time you couldn't hold yourself back. You just felt this boost of confidence, an unrelenting need to express a feeling that words couldn't define. 

Chan was shocked at first, but he quickly fell into it, closing his eyes and immediately wrapping his hands around your waist oh so gently as his lips began to move against yours slowly, lightly, with the utmost care. You each tilted your heads instinctively to opposite sides, still not coming up for any air as you maneuvered yourself back into his lap and brought a hand up to caress the side of his face before combing your fingers through his hair instead, a tiny noise of contentment leaving you in that moment. 

“Y/n…” he groaned softly against your smiling lips. 

"Hmmm?" you responded, still in a feeling of utter bliss. Your other hand was rubbing across his upper chest and shoulder soothingly, and you leaned in and kissed him again before he could even muster enough sense to respond, unable to stop yourself. Chan’s lips began moving against yours again, and he started to lean forward until your back was against a pillow on the couch and he was hovering over you completely. It felt as if he was trying to reach your heart with just the movements his warm, pillowy lips made against yours.

His thumbs started rubbing soothing circles into your waist and you felt like you were floating on a cloud, mind becoming hazy as your head became filled with thoughts of him and only him. He left three final pecks on your lips, finally mustering enough self control to pull back before things got even more heated. His hands slid from your waist all the way up to your cheeks, caressing them softly. 

You were smiling softly but genuinely, in complete bliss as he leaned in and kissed your forehead sweetly before finally saying, “I love you, you know?"

“I love you too,” you whispered quietly, just enough for him to hear. 

He rubbed his thumb near the corner of your lips, eyes crawling all over your face before he said a little regretfully, "I hate for this to end but I don't wanna keep you up any later than it already is."

“Then just stay over for the night. Please?" you begged a little bit and put a pout on your face. He immediately kissed it off of you and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

"Are you sure?"

Neither of you had ever spent the night at each other's place, so it was completely new territory and you could tell he didn’t want to seem like he was taking advantage of the entire situation. You shifted up a little to kiss his forehead back.

“Chan, I want you to. I promise. Please?”

You meant every word. You wanted nothing more than to hold him all night long.

"Ok," he said quietly, grin growing on his face until you saw that cheeky smile you loved so dearly.

————

That night was one of the most peaceful you’d ever had in recent memory. Buried deep under your sheets, nestled under the stars, you curled yourself into his arms - so close that you could feel his heartbeat against your cheek, slow and steady. And you fell asleep just like that - sweet dreams eventually melting away into the morning sun.

#bang chan imagines #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #bang chan fluff #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #bang chan x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader

[bordysbae]

I love your stories for Turcotte. could you please do 12. “why do you hate me?” “you think i hate you?” with him? <3

“frat party”

alex turcotte x f!reader

“you expect me to go to a party at his frat? that’s funny,” you scoff and continue looking back down at your phone. your roommate, abigail, comes over to your side of the dorm and sits on the bed.

“cmon please? i know things ended shitty with alex, but this is gonna be so fun! they have a dj and everything. please y/n? you probably won’t even see him, wisco is a big school!” abigail pleads, and you give into her puppy dog eyes.

“oh fine. and yeah wisco is a big school, but it’s not that big. i guarantee i’ll see him, but it’s been a couple months i need to get out, right?” you ponder. immediately abby jumps up and a smile fills her face. “yes yes yes! now let’s pick out an outfit for you!” she beams while taking your hands and dragging you towards the closet. after slipping on ripped jeans and a tight, low cut, white tank you and abby head out. the walk to the frat is only about fifteen minutes, and you’re used to it by now. alex used to always walk you home from every frat party, and if he was too drunk to walk you home, he’d make sure someone got you back to your dorm safely.

as you enter the brick building, the trashed floors and smell of alcohol fills your senses. you’re taken back by the pungent smell, but soon you get used to it. as abby drags you with her towards her boyfriend, you watch the familiar dark haired boy glow in his limelight. alex is practically the life of every party, which was one of the problems in your guys’ situationship. you wanted to get to know him, yet he was always busy with games and parties.

as his head rotates towards the left, his eyes meet with yours before you’re dragged into the kitchen. your view of alex is interrupted by a borg being shoved in your face, “want some?” your friend asks you. you shake your head and continue looking around for any sign of alex. “y/n cmon let’s have fun, drink a little!” abby chuckles, and you roll your eyes before taking a sip of the red colored vodka in the plastic gallon carton. the sharpie on the outside of the carton says: “borgicious.” the burning sensation from the liquor flowing down your throat shocks your system and makes you more alert.

suddenly you notice your friends giving glances, before tapping your shoulder to turn around. you furrow your brows as they step away from you, but when you rotate around you know exactly why. “hey, y/n,” alex states awkwardly. your breathe hitches. the boy who broke your heart nearly two months ago is standing in front of you.

“alex? why are you talking to me, don’t you like hate me or something?”

“you think i hate you?”

“um yeah? you literally ghosted me out of nowhere and then avoided me like the plague!”

“i don’t hate you, it’s quite the opposite actually,” he says meanwhile scratching the back of his neck nervously. you furrow your brows once again before letting out a heavy sigh. you work up the guts to ask the brave question, “why’d you do it alex? i thought we were getting somewhere, but you just ended things so suddenly?”

“can we talk about this outside? it’s a bit loud,” he suggests, and you nod. you both head to the back porch where a few other strangers are standing. they don’t pay any attention to you and alex, so you two just mind your business.

“i did it because i’m scared. i’m afraid to commit to things because i know myself, and i know you. god i wish i could be a better person for you, but i just don’t trust myself. i know my tendencies and i don’t want to hurt you even more in the long run, so i ended things. i’d rather hurt myself more and see you shine, instead of hurting you even more than i already did. i wanted you to move on so you can be happy,” alex bashfully admits.

your hands suddenly find their way to alex’s cheeks, as your turn his head towards you. “i trust you alex. i know you can change, and i know you have a good soul. during those long nights on facetime and the walks to my dorm after parties, i learned so much about you. i know you can change, and i can help you get rid of the stupid “fuck boy” persona. i promise im not gonna judge you, and it’s okay to open up sometimes alex. theres a reason i chose you out of everyone, i know you alex. i don’t want anyone else, i want you.”

suddenly a soft smile appears on his face, and he rests his forehead on yours, “i knew i chose the right girl, i’ve missed you. can we start over? but this time as boyfriend and girlfriend?” you nod your head, and your lips slowly connect to his. his familiar scent brings joy to your body, and same with him. everyone always knew you guys would end up dating, it was only a matter of time.

#alex turcotte imagine #alex turcotte x reader #alex turcotte #alex turcotte blurb #hockey blurb #hockey imagine #wisconsin #wisconsin badgers

[callsign-bunnie]

(Are we still doing the take away order thing)

Hey could I get a GazAlex combo with some not so secret relationship fries

This is a bit more of a drabble, but here you go!

--

Price was not stupid. 

He liked to feign a healthy ignorance here and there. Everyone treated him like he was borderline senile, despite the fact that he was only 37 years old… So, maybe he played into it a bit. Hell, it let him get some fucking naps and hey, he didn’t have to think too hard about why Mactavish was wearing only a pair of boxers in Ghost’s quarters.

Kate liked to tease him over it, telling him that he didn’t have to play old and dumb in front of everyone so well but… Kate also didn’t have to walk into random rooms to see two grown as men jumping apart like they were fucking teenagers.

Hell, the Colonel and his SIC had done the same damn thing. They have matching wedding bands. Colonel Vargas had waxed poetry over their wedding night. Yet when he had walked into the command room, the two were leaping apart and making some excuse over Rodolfo having something on his collar or whatever. 

Price was just accepting it as part of whatever weird fatherly dynamic he had with everyone. He hadn’t asked for it, but… Whatever.

Regardless, he wasn’t that stupid.

So, when he walked into the kitchen to see Kyle, his sergeant, was making a very concerted effort to focus on an electric kettle, while zipping up his jeans, and Alex Keller, who was between missions at the minute, had his fist just so conveniently placed over his crotch… He knew what was going on immediately.

Hell, Price was a Captain in the SAS. He knew how to pick up details he wasn’t being given. For instance, Keller usually kept his hair well groomed, however it was in a decent amount of disarray. Kyle was scratching at his neck where a mark could be seen poking out of his collar.

They also kept glancing at each other and turning darker shades of red. So, Price internally rolled his eyes and went over, getting a disposable cup down and dropping a tea bag in it. “You two okay? You look flustered.”

Kyle winced. “Yeah, we’re fine. Alex was telling me about the last mission he went on.”

Price glanced over at Alex, who notably avoided his eye, and he chuckled softly. “Ah. Looks like Keller’s still rather roughed up from it.”

Both seemed to freeze for a moment, and Price turned to his cup. “You should stop by the showers,” he commented, pretending he'd genuinely meant the comment. “I’m surprised Alex is in here, though, since he said he was visiting for Ghost.”

Alex and Ghost genuinely were friends, Price knew that. They’d ran several missions together and Ghost had been decently upset when Alex had “died” so it wasn’t an unreasonably excuse for Alex to be there for him but… Well, considering that Kyle was in here and not Ghost, though Ghost and Mactavish had been… mysteriously missing the entire day… Well, it was just funny. “Of course,” Price started before either could answer, “who knows where Lieutenant Riley is. Huh, now that I think about it, Mactavish is missing, too.”

He looked up, noting how Kyle and Keller both immediately looked away from him. “I got something on my shirt or what, boys?”

Both winced. “Sorry, just… early in the morning, I guess.” Kyle offered Price the sugar bowl and Price snorted.

“It’s 10.” He raised an eyebrow. “Whatever, you know I’m rather interested in this mission, too, now that you’ve brought it up. Kate said it was a disaster.”

He watched them both glance at each other. Alex shifted in his seat. “I could tell you about it, sir.”

“Nah, I’ll find out from Kate.” Price shook his head, deciding he’d had enough of torturing them. He simply finished stirring sugar into his tea and threw the tea bag in the trash, shaking his head. 

Price made a cheers motion with his cup, watching both Keller and Kyle awkwardly make one back with theirs. It was… kind of funny to watch them, honestly. He chuckled as he left, shaking his head. 

Sure, he could drop the facade, just tell them straight up that he knew that they were fucking. But… well, they were going through all of this effort to hide it. Even from Kate. Price knew that Alex and she had a similar relationship to himself and Gaz, so he understood why both would have made that decision.

Even still, he found Kate in the command room of their little base, flipping through a report. He sat by her and shook his head. “Garrick and Keller in the kitchen… Apparently Alex was telling Gaz about the last mission. Which I’m sure he told a fine story, while Kyle’s jeans were down.”

“Think we should tell them that we know already?” She chuckled as she looked up from the papers.

Price laughed, leaning back in his seat. 

“Nah.”

--

Do you want to be added to this taglist? Reply to this post that you wish to be added to the taglist and I will start to tag you in it every time I post it. You can also use this form!

@the_pluto_828 @sinclairbrosbathmat @wittymanatee

#John Price #Alex Keller #Kyle Gaz Garrick #Gaz x Alex #kate laswell #Gaz Cod #Alex COD #Alex x Gaz #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare II #gazalex #the gazalex agenda #queue for dinner again hunny?

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

“Max, can you get some more cold water?” Rafael asks in a worried voice.

“On it,” Max replies and immediately runs to the washroom to get some more cold water.

The second he comes back, Rafael takes the bucket and dips the towel in the water. He places the towel on Ari’s head like he’s been doing for the past two hours to bring her temperature down.

“It’s not coming down, is it?” Max asks, his voice laced with concern as he touches his sister’s forehead which is still burning up. 

Rafael takes out the thermometer from her mouth and checks the digits.

“103.2 degrees.” 

“Fuck. I think we need to call reinforcements.”

“I’m fine,” Ari slurs from where she’s cocooned under a dozen blankets in the best, “Don’t call dad and Bapak.”  

Rafael sighs, “Arianna, we need to inform them. They’ll be so mad if we don’t inform them that you’re sick.” 

Ari’s been sick for two days and her temperature has only increased slowly. It doesn’t seem to lower any time soon even though they’ve tried everything. 

“I’m always sick, Rafe. There’s nothing new. But Bapak and Dad have gone on a vacation after a long time. Please don’t call them,” Ari requests and Rafael exhales heavily, he’s never been good at refusing her anything. 

She seems to know that and has exploited the information to her advantage her entire life. 

Max jumps into the bed next to her and snuggles close to her but Ari gently shoves at him.

“Max, no. You’ll get sick too.”

“I won’t. I never get sick. I’m superior than all you weak ass bitches.”

Rafael rolls his eyes at Max—knows that Max takes his health seriously and never lets himself get sick so that their parents never have to worry about him.

He’s been doing the same his entire life too. 

One child with a heart disorder is enough for dad and Bapak to deal with for a lifetime. 

Max forcefully cuddles against Ari’s side and she shifts to put her head on his shoulder, sighing softly.

Her face scrunches up in pain for her a second but she easily masks it, but Rafael notices it nonetheless. 

Ari has always been the best at hiding her pain. A lifetime of pain caused by her body has made her excellent at doing so. 

Rafael opens the drawer and takes out the next dose of medications and passes it over to her. 

“I don’t want more. They make me too drowsy.”

“You will take them or I’m calling Bapak.”

“Bapak and not dad. Rafael’s calling out the big guns,” Max comments with a grin on his face. 

They wait for another two hours for her fever to come down, during which she throws up three times. Rafael hates it. Max hates it.

Ari hates it as well.

The panic in his chest rises and he exchanges a look with Max, becoming him to come outside.

Max nods and excuses himself to get out of the room, but Arianna has always been too good at noticing everything so she calls them out. 

“I know you’re going to talk to me behind my back.” She complains. 

“We always talk behind your back, Ari. There’s nothing new there,” Max replies.

Ari huffs. “No you don’t. I’m the favorite sibling.”

Rafael snorts at that and replies, “Max is the favorite sibling. And we all know that.” 

Max snorts at that and a smug smile appears on his face, “Damn right, Rafe. Max Lightwood-Bane, the favorite child and the favorite sibling.”

“That’s pushing it too far, Max. Rafael would be the favorite child.” Ari retorts back.

Rafael shakes his head in fondness. They’ve been doing it since they were kids, trying to figure out who the favorite kid is.

According to Dad and Bapak, there is none. 

But everyone else thinks otherwise.

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Ari pouts. “Was I picked up from the trash can or something? I’m being discriminated for not sharing DNA with my parents,” she comments dramatically.

Max laughs at the words, “You cannot use that card on the two of us. We’re also adopted, Ari.”

“Funny that out of the three times, they only chose to adopt once and that turned out to be the worst headache for them.”

Both Rafael and Max’s head turn immediately at the words and a frown appears on their faces. 

“What?”

“What? Nothing?”

“Ari?”

“Rafe?”

“Max?”

“Why are we all taking each other’s names?” Rafael rolls his eyes.

“I don’t know.”

Ari puts up a hand in the air, “it’s weird that the two of you are named after dead people.” 

Max gives her a pointed look, “She’s deflecting.”

“I’m not.”

“You are,” Rafael says sternly. “We heard you.”

Ari rolls her eyes and fuck, Rafael thinks, she’s a spitting image of dad when she does that. 

Rafael suddenly misses dad and his warmth, he always misses dad when someone he loves says something dark and self deprecating—and he doesn’t know how to help them. 

He almost wants to call him but Ari is right, they’ve gone on a vacation after a long time.

They deserve the break.

And he’s fucking 19 years old, he should be able to handle a sick sibling. 

“Don’t give me that look, Rafael. You don’t scare me.”

Rafael sighs and gathers himself for an argument but Max intervenes. 

“Arianna Lightwood-Bane, I dare you to repeat what you just said,” Max threatens and Ari rolls her eyes at that. 

That girl is so fucking stubborn, Rafael doesn’t know how Bapak and Dad deal with her when she’s fighting with them to go on her adventure sports trips.

Max continues staring at her sternly and Ari finally sighs which means she’s ready to talk.

Rafael wonders how Max is the one who can always get Ari to talk. Not dad, not Bapak. 

It’s always Max.

“I’m just feeling a little dark today. Ignore me.”

Rafael opens his mouth but Ari interrupts, “Please. We can talk tomorrow. I just want Rafe cuddles right now.”

He knows she’s trying to manipulate him but he melts anyways and agrees.

“You are so weak, Rafe,” Max huffs.

“Shut up, Blue.“

Rafael and Max cuddle next to her and turns on the TV.

They’re currently laying in their parent’s bedroom so the bed has enough space for all of them to lie comfortably. 

He misses his classes for the next three days and Max skips his music sessions to care for Ari.

Her temperature comes down a little by the time Dad and Bapak return from their trip to the Big Bear Lake. 

“What’s going on?” That’s the first words that leaves Dad’s mouth when he returns.

Considering the condition of their room, filled with tissue papers and buckets filled of vomit everywhere, it’s entirely valid on his part. 

Max jumps from where he’s sitting next to the bed, playing a soft melody on his guitar and rushes towards Bapak, who takes him tightly in his arms.

“Hi, Bapak.”

“Hi, Blue.”

Rafael exchanges with look a dad and it’s like he knows somehow. He rests his head against his chest for a second and Dad touches his forehead, a frown on his face.

Ari is fast asleep and doesn’t wake up by the commotion. Dad and Bapak moves towards the bed and kisses her forehead.

“She has a fever?” Bapak says with worry.

Max and Rafael avoids their gaze but Max finally sighs, already knowing that it will take all of five second for Bapak to get the information out of them.

“She had 103 degrees fever for four days but it’s down now.”

Dad’s face scrunches.

“And you didn’t think of informing us.”

“We didn’t want you to worry.”

“You don’t have to worry about Ari. She’s fine now. We did everything as you would’ve done,” Rafael points at the water and medicines.

Dad’s face change softly and he comes closer to Rafael, putting a hand on his forehead.

“Do you even realise that you have a fever too?”

“What?” Rafael frowns. “I don’t.”

Max puts a hand on his face and then his eyes widen, “Rafe, why didn’t you tell me you were sick too?”

“I am not.”

Bapak crosses the distance and stands infront of you. “You two are insufferable. Just like your dad.”

“What?” Dad whines. “How is this my fault?” 

“It is.” Bapak takes out his tongue like a child and dad rolls his eyes in affection.

“We’re not just worried about her. But the two of you, too.” Dad points out with fond exasperation.

Rafael sighs and nods.

“Okay. Sorry, we didn’t tell you,” Max tells them.

“Come on, I’ll crush the medicine in water for you.” Bapak points with a mischievous grin. 

Rafael pouts at that, “I don’t do that anymore. I can take medicines normally. Like an adult.” 

“No, you can’t.” All of them points out at the same time.

Traitors.

So what if he can’t swallow medicines and needs them to be crushed and mixed with water.

He’s an adult, okay?

“Anyways. How was your trip? Did y’all bang?” Max asks mischievously.

Dad groans at that because he knows what’s going to follow.

Bapak puts a hand on Max’s shoulder and speaks, “Oh, so so much. There was this one night where Alexander wore this—“

“Oh my fucking god. Keep your gay to yourself,” Ari suddenly wakes up from her sleep and comments. “Have you not heard that talking about this stuff can turn innocent kids gay?”

Dad chuckles at the words. “Apparently that worked considering you’re into girls.”

“Girls with tattoos only. I have a type, daddy” Ari replies. 

“How could we ever forget the gay panic you go through every time you see a girl with tattoos?” Rafael comments. 

“Also, what’s this I’m hearing of you getting sick?” Bapak says in a serious tone this time. 

Ari immediately hides herself under the blankets. “This is a hostile environment, your honor. Over and out.”

-I am finishing my masters thesis and writing one-shots during the breaks is the only thing keeping me sane. Also, can y'all believe I wrote something non-angsty for once?? You’re welcome.

#i was missing my babygirl ari anyways #magnus bane #alec lightwood #rafael lightwood bane #max lightwood bane #arianna lightwood bane #malec #malec fics #my writing

[clay-pidgeon]

seagulls fucking SUCK man

Hello, readers who I will assume also hold a grudge against seagulls based on the fact you’re reading this knowing what the title says! Let me regale you with an needlessly dramatic tale of betrayal earlier today (by seagulls) (the betrayal not the tale) (the tale is by me) (seagulls can’t write) (I think?)

Now, before I begin, here are some Indubitable Truths that will be relevant:

I am an animal lover first and a person second.

Yesterday, I got my braces tightened. As such, my front teeth are a bit sore still. It would be hard for me to eat, say, a particularly chewy tortilla.

I have a tendency to ignore common knowledge in favor of being nice to birds.

Here is where our story begins. I am at a nice little street near the beach, with other people, on a “history” camp trip. “History” is in quotes because it’s 60% going to museums (most interactive) and 40% looking at the attractions around the museums.

So I am at this cute little street with a couple of places you can get food. So I got food. Specifically a (large) burrito, a bag of tortilla chips, apple juice, and some guacamole.

As aforementioned: it is hard for me to eat the burrito because of the chewy nature of the tortilla. And there are a Lot of seagulls near the table where I’m eating.

Are you picking up what I’m putting down?

If not, I will spell it out: I rip off pieces of tortilla to give to the seagulls. Win-win, they get food and I don’t have to try to eat a tortilla when my canines are so sore.

(pictured: 2 messages sent to @dreamsy990 before the Horrors ensue)

I would like to add I DO realize that feeding wild animals is a Bad Idea™️. Like, I read the Diary of a Wimpy Kid book where Greg gives a seagull a Cheeto and they just immediately attack him. And I listen to park rangers when they talk. (Mostly the first one.)

But alas, I am no more than a poor imitation of Icarus, flying too close to the sun that is feeding wild birds tortilla pieces. Also I just really like birds and would do anything for them if they could talk I would be so fucked

I grab the bag that the food was in—there’s still food left, I just don’t want to be a litterbug and let the bag blow away. I get up from the table.

IMMEDIATELY, they descend upon my food like the ravenous bastards they are. I cry “DUDE! WHAT!” They knock over my apple juice. One flys away with the rest of the tortilla. They leave the chips and guacamole alone (for now).

I am Extremely Pissed, but still a Responsible Citizen, so I grab the chips and the rest of the trash (which has increased since it DOESN’T HAVE ANY FUCKING FOOD LEFT IN IT) and go to the trash can. When I return, they’re eating the guacamole. I yell “YOU CAN’T EVEN RECYCLE!” (Because they’re birds, they wouldn’t know how to properly dispose of waste. Assholes.)

Tragic. However, I am a person who values rolling with the punches (there’s a good story I have about that, but it’s less interesting and harder to remember/make funny) life gives you, so I suck it up and go buy an ice cream cone to ease my sorrows. (I AM frowning the whole time, though.)

I then go eat the ice cream cone while sitting against the wall of the arcade (because I needed to charge my phone) and when I finish the ice cream I attempt to eat the chips I salvaged. Bit hard, considering the whole “sore teeth” thing. Then, I get in the bus to go home, and I write a needlessly dramatic tumblr post about the whole experience.

#dove chirps #my stuff #SIGH. #seagulls #seagulls are bastards #I turned on autocapitalize for this #birds #:( #animals

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

A series of university events

Here is the ficlet for the winning option on this poll, Jingyi going through some of the funniest moments/situations I experienced as a university student.

All of these did actually happen, believe it or not, either to me personally, or I was there to witness them.

(The last one was a bit adapted to fit the characters and the theme, but I did argue with my group mates over color accents and other such aspects when we did our project, so there is a grain of truth in there!)

I really hope this is actually funny. Enjoy!

It was 7.15 am when Lan Jingyi stepped into his university building and he didn't know whether he found that ironic, hilarious or eerie.

He had promised himself he would not be cutting it so close to Professor Lan's 8 am class anymore (last time he arrived 53 seconds before the lesson began, as per Ouyang Zizhen's cronometer), but 7.15 was way too early.

It just had to be that day that the Public Transportation Gods decided to smile upon him and have him arrive 45 minutes before Teacher Lan's class. The man was probably still home having his coffee, minding his business, while Jingyi was at school, regretting the extra 30 minutes of sleep he lost.

Jingyi walked up to his class, and was surprised to find one of the cleaning ladies struggling to clean up yesterday's mess. She was equally as surprised to see him, and even checked her watch, panicked.

"Young man, you really scared me, I thought I ran out of time!"

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to do that." A sheepish smile as he chose one of the middle seats. "The commute was surprisingly short today."

He took out his phone to scroll on social media for a bit as began to sip at his coffee, but his eyes inevitably caught onto the cleaning lady's pained expression every time she bent down to pick up discarded papers or small pieces of trash.

Jingyi immediately abandoned his phone, walking up to her to help.

"You really don't need to do that, sweetheart, you're here to learn, not to clean!"

But Jingyi only offered her a reassuring smile, placing all the trash he'd collected into the bin. "You guys work so hard for us, so we have a clean place to study. This is nothing."

And so, Jingyi and the cleaning lady worked together for a few more minutes, rearranging desks, dusting and sweeping. Neither seemed to have realized how quickly time passed, until the door swung open to reveal Jin Ling carrying a massive Starbucks drink in one hand and the keys to his car in the other, a backpack hanging off one of his shoulders.

He looked at Jingyi, then at the cleaning lady, and, as the woman thanked him for the help and left, he couldn't help lowering the rim of his sunglasses with a smirk. "Training for your future workplace?"

Jingyi rolled his eyes. "How are you able to walk around with your head so far up your ass?"

"With great ease in designer shoes." Jin Ling replied, taking the seat in front of Jingyi's. "Now how come you're so early?"

"I'm being responsible."

"Yeah, right, and I'm poor. What other lies are we telling?"

Jingyi half debated throwing his hot coffee in Jin Ling's face but decided against it. There were no coffee shops around close enough for him to go get another and return in time for class.

"You ask about me, but why are you so early?"

"I drove dad to work. His license was suspended for speeding and now he's making me drive him around like a fucking chaffeur!"

"You guys shit money. Why isn't he using an uber or something?"

Jin Ling took a long, tired sip of his drink. "He says it's good driving practice for me. And mom won't drive him because she told him if he gets one more speeding ticket, he's on his own."

Jingyi couldn't help a mischevious grin. "So it looks like you're training for your future workplace too!"

------

Lan Jingyi was hungry. He was pretty sure that his whole class was, it was lunch time after all, and you could hear a stomach growling every few seconds.

Thing is, Jingyi did have food. Plenty of it. Because he knew he would be getting hungry, he had 12h of classes back to back, after all, of course he needed to eat.

The problem was that the professor promised them a 15 minute break halfway through the class... and had yet to deliver on that, droning on about some boring lesson that Jingyi couldn't even be bothered to take notes for. He was too hungry to write, and he could always ask Sizhui to fill him in later.

The professor began drawing something on the board but stopped midway through.

"You guys are not paying any attention to me at all. What's going on?"

"We're so hungry, professor!" A female voice responded, and Jingyi was quick to recognize her as Song Qing, the insanely smart girl two years younger than him that got into university on a gifted kid scholarship.

The professor sighed. "Why didn't you guys say so? I'm hungry too, let's eat up so we focus better! Brains don't work on empty stomachs!"

The class blinked at the man, confused for a few seconds as he took out a pink lunch box from his bag. "What, you think I eat your essays for lunch or something?"

Everyone began pulling out their own food, from sandwiches to cakes, snacks, salads and everything in between.

"You have a cute lunch box." Song Qing commented, barely holding back a giggle.

The professor laughed. "My daughter packed my lunch this morning, okay? She said this is her lucky lunch box, and wanted me to have a good day, so she gave it to me."

The class collectively aww'd at that, before returning to their food. Jingyi greedily bit into his chicken sandwich, hoping to God nobody heard him moan with both delight and relief.

"Jingyi, you really need to stop moaning into your food like that." Zizhen commented as he stabbed a cherry tomato from his to go salad with a fork, "It's weird."

"Have a bite of this and you'll get it." Jingyi offered, and Zizhen shrugged, taking him up on it. The moment flavor filled his mouth, his eyes fluttered closed and a low "mm" escaped him.

"See? It's amazing!"

"Will you guys stop orgasming over food?" Jin Ling intervened. "The rest of us want to eat in peace."

"Food orgasms are the best." Jingyi replied before taking another generous bite of his sandwich.

Jin Ling mumbled something, sinking his spoon in his container of hummus, but Jingyi and Zizhen continued to fawn over their food anyway.

---

When Sizhui returned to his dorm room that day, exhausted after a long day of studying in the library, he had not expected to find his roommate, Jingyi, with a flip flop in one hand and a massive can of big spray in the other, looking nothing short of a hunter.

"Jingyi. What the hell."

"There is a massive cockroach hiding around here." Jingyi answers sternly, eyes searching the floors. "And I am going to kill it."

Sizhui sighed, placed his book bag on his bed and wondered whether to join Jingyi in his hunts or just go to bed and leave him be.

But- "Hah! There you are!" was followed by the comical sound of a flip flop hitting the wooden floors, and Sizhui realized that his friend could do very well without him too.

"So." Jingyi began, placing his weaponry down. "How was today?"

"Exhausting. Did you do any studying?"

"No, I hunted the cockroach."

"Jingyi. The final is in two days."

"I couldn't have focused knowing there was a cockroach."

"Teacher Lan is so going to fail you."

Jingyi sent him a pleading, wet dog look. "And you're just gonna let that happen...? After I saved you from that terrible beast just now?"

"I'm taking Zizhen as my roommate next year."

"As if he doesn't mooch off you too!"

"So you agree. You do mooch off me!"

---

It was once again 6 am on a Monday and Jingyi wanted to die. Well, maybe not die, but definitely sleep. Like the dead.

Still, he had to go to class. Sizhui's didn't start until 12, that lucky bastard, so he had to go through the terrible grogginess of his early morning on his own.

He was just about to get into the shower - bless Sizhui for having picked a room with an en-suite bathroom - when he heard the unmistakable sounds of... well, fucking.

They were doing it in the other room, obviously, but the walls had either thinned out over night or his neighbours just happened to be screamers. Either way, Jingyi's already foul mood was not eased by the litany of moans and begs and curses from the other side of the wall - who fucks at 6 am on a Monday, first of all, and second, who does it so damn loudly too?!

He tried to focus on his own washing up routine, tried arguing to himself that, perhaps, he too would do that if he had someone to do it with, and it was a free country, people could fuck anywhere, any time.

But the moment that he began to hear screaming, all that flew out the window and he knocked loudly into the wall, three consecutive times.

The noise stopped for a while after that, and he was gratefully enjoying the silence, only to hear, loud and clear from the other side: "that's why you get no bitches, man!"

It took all Jingyi had not to go down to their door and start a fight.

God, he hates mornings.

---

"You aren't seriously going to pick golden accents." Jingyi said, incredulous. "That's the most cliche, overdone, boring choice!

Jin Ling rolled his eyes. "It's called timeless, you dumbass. A classic."

"Are we really fighting over decorative accents right now?" Sizhui asked, exasperated. "This whole thing is fictional, guys, it's not real! We aren't actually organizing this art gallery!"

And they were not. For one of their classes, the professor wanted them to come up with an event to organize on the basis of the information he gave them, following a strategy and some pre-defined steps. It was meant to test them on their knowledge, as well as show them what event organizing entails and whether they would be up for a career in the field.

"We have to do it right still!" Jingyi argued. "And I won't have fucking golden accents! I know you Jins have gold for breakfast but this is supposed to be fine art!"

"Your ass has never seen gold filigree and it shows! Gold is elegant, subtle. What colors do you want to use, huh? Magenta?!"

Zizhen sighed. "Calm down, you two. Our gallery theme is Cloud Recesses. There are no golden clouds."

"The sun is yellow!" Jin Ling argued.

Jingyi had to intervene. "It's the Cloud Recesses, not the Sun Recesses!"

"And where the fuck do you think the sun is? Not behind clouds?!"

Sizhui sighed quietly, turning to his other friend as the two kept arguing. "Zizhen, what do you think of light blue?"

"Sounds good. White could work too, but an ashen type, we don't want the contrast to be too obvious."

"I'll write that down. Say, how much did our budget add up to?"

"500k."

"Jin Ling." Sizhui called out, just as he was about to send a book Jingyi's way. "Where do we get 500k from? That's how much the event costs."

"We'll sponsor it. We as in Jin Corp. And add Jiang Corp too, jiujiu wouldn't mind and if he does, I'll threaten him that I'll buy out my stocks."

"Fuckin' capitalist." Jingyi glared, "But if we get such rich sponsorship, we should organize an after party too."

"Oh so I'm a fucking capitalist, but then you go around and spend my money?"

"What good is it for if you don't spend it?"

"You know what? Fair."

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #writing attempts #ljy #lsz #jl #oyzz #somg qing is a qing btw #song lan and xxc adopted her

[buttermykolchek]

Scouts honor part 2

The horror

Okay guys! So the spacing in my fics are a little weird, not sure why but bare with me. I know this one is a tad rushed but that’s mainly due to not knowing how to execute this part correctly. I apologize in advance!

Warnings: pain, mentions of death, little bit of prejudice speak(Jason), quiet!jason, suggestive language, explicit language. Major cringe.

Tags: @kassiekolchek22 @kolchekyourweapons @lorebite @yellowroseskolchek @yeslieutenant (I know there are more but I can’t think of their @‘s , I’ll mention them in the comments!

0100 hours 348ft

“Cmon darlin, wake up, scout wake up!” You felt somebody tapping your cheek. What the hell? What happened? Your whole body was on fire, your ribs and shoulder most of all. Your eyes fluttered open, whimpering at the light shining in your face. “Turn that shit off” you whined, waving a hand infront of your face to swat the blinding light away. “Cmon sweetheart, we gotta go” you recognized the deep southern drawl from anywhere, even if you were exhausted and disoriented. “Jason?” You sniffled, moving to stand up slowly, careful not to irritate any of your wounds. He had a hand on the small of your back as you stood, the other under your arm to keep you steady. “What happened?” You rubbed your eyes before looking around. Holy crap. The temple was trashed, there were dead creatures everywhere, a dead Iraqi soldier in the corner of the room, and a man standing behind Jason. You leaned your head around Jason’s shoulder to take a peek. It was another Iraqi soldier, he was holding a pipe, and he was looking over one of the creatures “oh, that’s salim-“ you cut Jason off. “I know who he is, he was going to shoot you topside” Jason raised a brow. “How do you know that?” He tilted his head, his hands still on you. “Because I was the one who begged him not to.” You took a deep breath and stood up straight, “What happened here?” You took a few steps past him, looking around at the horror. There was so much blood. “They attacked us, I got dragged away, so I’m not really sure of the rest.” “You what?” You turned around. Tilting your head a little. “One of those things grabbed me, dragged me off. I’m fine.” He reassured. Offering you a soft smile. You hated when he did that, covered up things and acted like nothing bothered him. You knew better, you’d been through hell and back together. You were assigned to Jason’s team nearly a year and a held ago, before he was ever a lieutenant. You trailed off in your thoughts, kicking some rocks around under your boot. “What do we do now? We have to find Nick and Eric.” You spoke just above a whisper. “Rachel and Joey too” Jason chimed in, taking a look around. Your head snapped up, pissed that he’d even make a joke like that. Your friends deaths weren’t something you’d find amusing. “That’s not funny, kolchek.”

You’d been walking for what felt like hours, your feet ached, your knees were sore. Hell, everything was sore. Jason and salim were conversing amongst themselves behind you, and hearing him say your name a few times brought butterflies in your stomach. Good lord, y/n. It was just one moment. Nothing more. You couldn’t help but think back to that particular moment. How badly you wanted him to kiss you, how nervous he looked to be so close to you. His heartbeat going a million miles an hour beneath your hand. You couldn’t stop thinking about his soft his lips would feel against yours, against your neck, oh god. You coughed a little, immediately regretting it as the pain in your ribs screamed. “Y/n?” Salim called, but he sounded far away. when you turned around, neither of them were there. You must’ve walked too far ahead. “I’m down here!” You called back, picking up a tablet from the floor. You brushed it off and shined a light on it. “Neat” you mumbled, brushing your thumb across the ancient pictures. Suddenly there was a hand on your shoulder, making you shriek and jump away, instinctively reaching for your gun. “Woah chill! It’s just me, darlin” Jason chuckled, amused by the mortified look on your face. “You scared the shit out of me! I could’ve shot you!” You exclaimed in frustration, smacking his arm. “Ow!” He jumped, rubbing his arm and pretending like it hurt. “What?” You tilted your head, obviously confused. You didn’t even hit him hard. He still just rubbed it with a pouty face. You scoffed lightheartedly. “Im not kissing it better, Jason” you raised your eyebrows with a smile, making him laugh. “Are you sure you two aren’t together?” Salim interrupted, gesturing to you two. “Positive” Jason turned to look at him, making salim shake his head “could’ve fooled me” he said as he walked past you both. You and Jason exchanged panicked looks before following him. “So,” Jason cleared his throat, “what are you guys gonna do when we get out of here?” “Hold my son” salim mumbled as he walked. “Take a shower” you sighed, looking at Jason. “You?” “Yeah uh, same” he choked out, trying desperately not to think of you naked, hot water dripping down your delicious figure. Salim suddenly stopped abruptly to a huge opening, snapping Jason out of his little trance. Everything was green, there was a wenching system to your left, and a huge hole in the ground. “Is that.. gas?” You stepped past Salim, approaching the abyss. “Scout, don’t wander off. Stay within eyeshot.” Jason warned, pointing a finger in your direction. “yes dad” you called back playfully, hearing him scoff. You giggled as you walked to a table with papers sprawled across it. You picked up some, reading the notes scribbled all over the place. “No fucking way” you whispered, turning around. “Hey, uh. Guys? You’re gonna want to see this”Jason and Salim looked away from each other and to you, Jason looked flustered, and salim looked extremely amused. I wonder what they were talking bout? Me? No, definitely not. You fidgeted with the leather cover on the book whilst they approached you, you handed the book to Jason. “It explains what happened to clarice” you gulped. Standing back and leaning against the table. All you wanted to do was lay down, sleep, cry. You just wanted to go home.

“So.. it turns you into one of those things?” Jason tilted his head furrowing his eyebrows as he examined the old pages. “Something like that” you hummed, admiring his features. Before he could catch you you adverted your gaze, glancing at salim who had a mischievous smirk on his lips. “What’s so funny?” You crossed your arms over your chest, raising your eyebrows at salim. “Oh nothing, I wouldn’t worry about it.” He sighed. Turning his back to you both and observing the area they were in.

Jason handed the book back to you. “This is bullshit” he mumbled, lifting his cap and raking a hand through his hair underneath. “I know” you sighed, setting the book down behind you. “Look on the bright side, we’re still kickin’” you offered a small smile, pulling your self up from the table and stretching your back. “For now” he scoffed. “Have you seen those things?! We don’t stand a fuckin chance.” He ran a hand down his face, clearly distraught. You knew he was right, it was only a matter of time at this point. But you had to keep going. “Don’t talk like that” you nudged his shoulder. “You’re the most stubborn son of a bitch I’ve ever met. Don’t let a few winged freaks get you down” you laughed, doing your best to lighten the mood. “We’ll be okay, we’re going to get out of here” you stated as you started to take interest in the elevator thing, seeing that it went down into the green abyss. Maybe that’s our way out! It was like a lightbulb lit up in your head. You turned to face the two men. “Hear me out-“ you started, gesturing towards the pit. “No” Salim didn’t hesitate to shut you down. “If those things come from anywhere it’s down there. Do you really want to fight them in their own home?” He insisted. Jason chimed in, “that’d what I’ve been doing since I set foot in this country-“ he started with the usual jarhead bullshit. “Jason, just” you took a deep breath and clenched your fist, trying really hard not to tell him to stop being such an ass. “Be quiet for a minute” you huffed, turning to salim. “No, I don’t want to go down there. But the way I see it, we either wait here to get torn apart. OR we get torn apart trying to find a way out. Which sounds better to you?” You raised a brow and put your hands on your hips. Salims face said it all. He had no words, he knew you were right. “Alright, fair” he sighed, clearly defeated.“O-Kay! Who wants to take a ride on the vampire lift 3000?” You raised a brow, holding your arms out to the elevator as if you were presenting it. “Anyone?” You smiled, the two men weren’t amused.

The city, 4,000 ft, 0800 hours.

It had been hours since you’d been down here, and you’d felt worse than ever. Somehow you’d found yourselves infront of a mountain of vampire nests. There had to be thousands of them. The group was trying to figure their next course of action. Nick, Rachel, eric and joey had met up with your group a little while ago, and you couldn’t be happier, but you just wanted out. Jason was keeping a heavy eye on you, worried that you’d pass out any second. You were wondering around, keeping watch as you heard them bicker. Suddenly it got quiet. You tilted your head in their direction, seeing the looks on their faces. Jason looked worried. Salim took a deep breath, before speaking up. “So.. who’s going to place the dynamite?” Your heart stopped. No way you thought. Your eyes landed on Jason, and you could see his courage starting to boil. His mouth opened to speak, but before he could say anything you chimed in. “I will.” You forced out. Terrified of your own words. “Oh hell no” Jason exclaimed, “Absolutely not” Rachel insisted, and you put your hand up to interrupt the protests. “I’m the smallest, the quickest and the quietest out of all of us. They don’t call me Girl Scout for nothing” you joked a little, grabbing the dynamite and sticking it into your pack. “I’ll go” Jason insisted, trying to take the dynamite from you. “Jason stop” you put your hand on his chest, pushing him back a little. “I’ve made my decision” you fought back tears. You were terrified, you didn’t want to do this, but you knew if you didn’t your team wouldn’t make it out. “I’ll be careful. I swear.” You spoke softly. Handing Eric the trigger. “If I can’t make it out, you pull that fucking trigger.” You held your hand around his, his eyes giving you an unsure look. “Colonel, do you understand me” You said sternly, watching him nod. Eric was the only one that you didn’t have some kind of a relationship with, you knew he’d do what needed to be done. Jason as usual, tried to protest. “Eric so help me if you even think about-“ “stop!” You shouted. Everyone fell silent, they didn’t know what to say, and they knew they couldn’t stop you. You were standing in front of them all, Putting your pack back on. “Ill be quick, I promise.” You gave them all a weak smile. You knew the odds, everyone did. “When I say go, you go. Don’t leave eachother behind and don’t come back for me” you looked at Jason, who was starring at the floor, His lip between his teeth. “When you get out of here, have a beer for me.” You could feel your heart sink as Jason looked up at you, meeting your gaze. You offered him one last soft smile before turning back, taking a look at the hell waiting for you. “I’ll see you on the other side” you cracked one last little joke, before heading off. Your friends speechless behind you.

#dark pictures house of ashes #eric king #hoa #house of ashes #jason kolchek #joey gomez #nathan merwin #nick kay #rachel king #clarice stokes #the curator #incorrect house of ashes #salim othman #dark pictures anthology

[genderflu1dwh0r]

Vampie!Jade

Tori had taken the group to an Italian restaurant as a treat for them doing so well in their play. The garlic bread was set out and Jade kind of scooted away in her seat, she tried to not make a big deal of it. Andre noticed and made some joke of Jade being a secret vampire by the way she backed away and glared at people who were eating it. Jade scoffed as she rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. The rest of the group started to dig into the joke aswell, Beck biting into the bread and pretending to be hurt by it. Jade found none of it funny, she just tried to ignore them, not wanting to give anything up. She looked down at her lap and just huffed. Cat smiled, patting her shoulder, Jade immediately shoved her hand away and looked away. Cat pouted, going back to her bread.

As the night went on, the food had been passed out and Jade nearly gagged at how Robbie put so much garlic on his plate. She excused herself and went to the bathroom, resting against the sinks, cigarette hanging from her lips. Tori soon followed her in and leaned with her. "What happened? Wh..y..." she trailed off as she noticed that Jade didn't have a reflection in the mirrors. She backed away and stared at her wide-eyed. "What the fuck, Jade!" She gasped, Jade's cigarette fell from her lips, she quickly went after her and covered her mouth. "Don't say a fucking word... please." She begged, she couldn't be caught by anyone else. Tori gripped Jade's forearm, wide-eyed. Her breathing erratic yet muffled. Jade gave her desperate eyes, she had Tori pressed against the wall. Tori only nodded, barely noticeable. Jade let her hand fall from the other girl's mouth, resting on her waist.

Instead of fear, Jade was faced with anger, she got grabbed and was slammed against the wall. Breath forced out of her. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner!?" Tori asked, hurt painted over her voice. Jade could only look at her with sadness and fear, she was scared that Tori would freak. Her mouth opened and closed multiple times, yet no words came out. Tori just watched her, she pursed her lips and backed away. "I'll make sure no garlic touches your food." She whispered before leaving. Jade stood there, she looked down and picked her unlit cigarette up from the bathroom floor. She stared at it, she considered smoking it. Quickly she got disgusted with herself and tossed the cigarette into the trash as she left. She stalked up to the table, taking her seat and grabbing her fork. She plunged the fork into her food, knowing she wasn't up to eating.

#victorious #jade west #tori vega #jori #jamie writes #beck oliver #cat valentine #andre harris #robbie shapiro #vampire!jade #au

[lilyblackdrawside]

Cleared Final Fantasy Renaissance. It was fun. I floated through the Temple of Fiends, had like two regular enemy encounters, accidentally skipped the Tiamat rematch (by floating over her) and double-nuked CHAOS for 1268x2 damage.

Overall, this was still FF1. You still deal with spiked tiles, annoying paralyzing, poisoning, petrifying and death-touching enemies in the first half of the game and it getting much easier in the second half.

Generic quality of life improvements were kinda just that you can hold B to run, but some of the new jobs just break the game.

More in depth stuff under the cut, it got a bit long.

My party was Lancer/Dragoon, Bard/Troubadour, Time Mage/Wizard and Black Mage/Wizard.

Black Mage is still just Black Mage. The funny robe who casts the big spells and kinda does nothing for the first third of the game. It does have a Trait that "boosts accuracy of damaging magic and reduces the chance of it being resisted for reduced damage". I don't think I noticed much of this? Elementally resistant enemies still took reduced damage (I think) and it's not like damaging magic can miss. Maybe it just raises the damage floor. When promoted to Black Wizard the only new difference is the "Elemental Seal" active skill, which maximizes the damage of the next spell. With my party, this was just to flex. I could have my Time Wizard cast Gain (doubles damage of the target's next spell), Black Wizard use Elemental Seal and Troubadour use the +30% magic damage song Turn 1, then follow that up with Time Wizard's "Double Cast" skill (makes the target cast its next spell twice, placing this buff always goes first in a turn) and follow that up with whatever spell I find the most suited in that situation (Nuke) to deal doubled, maximized damage twice. The "next spell" buffs of Gain and Elemental Seal stick for both casts. Tiamat failed to survive a single maxidoubled Nuke, CHAOS did require both. Black Wizard's Limit Break lets it cast spells without using charges for 3 turns. I never used this. I might've, had I gone with a different party.

Lancer is a fairly standard Fighter-type job on the surface. Wears heavy armor, gets high health, hits enemies for big damage with big weapon. There aren't quite as many lances as there are swords in the game, so you go through a couple stretches of using an outdated weapon and it also is kinda terrible at soaking up damage on account of spending a lot of time being untargetable. But it did end up working out quite well, because on promoting to Dragoon, you get Super Jump, which hits all enemies and after running some errands (killing 100 enemies with jump for a dragon that's scared of you for being a Dragoon) you get funny shoes that make Jump always go first in a turn so at that point the Dragoon becomes the ideal trash clearer. Turn 1 use Super Jump, double EXP song, some control magic with the Wizards, Turn 2 win. Repeat until you get to the boss and Nuke it. Dragoon was a good fit for the party, as I could just not jump for boss fights and have an adequate tank for my three squishies. Dragoon's Limit Break executes an immediate Super Jump(?) (It just jumps) and ignores "Fatigue" for three turns (Jump gives 1 turn of fatigue, Super gives 2 and while fatigued you can't jump). I just used this a few times to check it out.

Bard was pretty nice out the gate, cause in Coneria you get a song that gives the whole party 8 absorb, which until like the Earth Cave makes you functionally untouchable. Very handy. I had considered picking I think Green Mage or one of the other new Mages that gets healing magic apparently, I don't remember which, but noticed just in time that that would leave me with a party of three casters and a Lancer, so very frail (and I hadn't even thought about Lancer not being a good tank itself at that point) so I figured I'd pick Bard cause surely Bard is a bit tankier than the mages. No, Bard has the same bad hp and wears the exact same flimsy armor. Worked out anyway, spent the whole game in Slot 2 of the party and rarely died. Somehow. Eventually, my default song changed from the +Absorb to one that heals party members for 5% hp whenever they take a turn. This was all my healing for the whole game and it was just enough. Still drank a ton of potions outside of battle. Other notable songs are one that raises Morale and Luck to make escpaing easier and increase the odds of enemies running away, got a lot of milage out of that one, the one that gives +30% magic damage and the 8th song, which doubles EXP. Also the 2nd song in the list, which gives +8 Attack to the party which I got as my third to last because the one broom I didn't talk to in Matoya's home held a fragment of it. I didn't use it much, (because I didn't have it for most of the game) but it is memorable. The whole list of songs is: +8 absorb, +8 attack, 5% heal/action, +12 Morale/Luck, +30% magic damage, +100% magic defense, +15% crit, +100% exp. Oh yeah, the way you get songs is by talking to townspeople with the Bard in the lead to gather inspiration.

Bard also uses Harps as weapon, which hit the whole enemy party (for 1 damage 99% of the time). This isn't generally useful, even though I had a synergy with Time Mage here that allowed this to deal semi-meaningful damage. My Bard spent 99% of the game just singing. I also think there is a bit of a bug with how songs work. Bard has 1 global spell charge and can use Hide to refresh it. At the start of turn you can choose to Sustain or pick a New action, Sustain keeps the current song or hide, New lets you do something else. Hiding also refreshes the song charge. You can cast a song, hide, cast a new song and the old one is still active. as Troubadour you get 2 charges, so it's a bit smoother. In this way you can layer several songs and get a bunch of buffs, but the Troubadour's Limit Break lets you immediately play another song while keeping the effects of an old song active. I've used this a couple times but it never seemed any different to just playing a new song how I had been doing it the entire time. You can have up to 4 song effects active at a time, it seems. Bard was a good choice for my team as kind of the defensive anchor. The +8 absorb 5% heals did a lot to keep health relatively high and cut down a bit on potion use and later on I did funny magic amplifications.

Time Mage was the dark horse of this party. I picked it cause FAST is good (I never used FAST) and because I like Time Mage in FF5. For the first two thirds of the game, Time Mage is pretty fine. You get some generic Time-elemental damage spells on the lower tiers, the Gain buff on Tier 1 (that's the one that doubles magic damage), some control debuffs, two "Mark" spells, which just lifts the Mark mechanic from Slay the Spire's The Watcher. Those were pretty decent as supplemental aoe damage for a while. Time Mage also has access to "Egress", which is an active skill that just restarts the battle. There's no cost to this, just do it. I forgot I had this until I job changed. Thought it was going to be a spell, oopsie. Could've been nice here and there in the Marsh Cave. Time Mage also resists Time elemental magic innately, such as Slow, Sleep and Paralysis. This is quite handy, especially considering that the Ribbon doesn't resist Time and so you're completely protected.

Then the Tier 4 spells is where Time Mage starts getting dubious. On Tier 4 I gave my Time Mage Float, Fast and Old (debuffs a target to make it lose 20% strength per turn). I only used one of these ever and it wasn't Fast. Float seems very inocuous when you read it: "The party floats above the ground and shallow water for a short period of time, avoiding enemy counters as well as damage from trap tiles." So you can use this to not encounter enemies for a bit (it really doesn't last very long) and can walk through something like Gurgu Volcano's fire tiles without taking damage. Neat. This also bypasses forced encounter tiles. The funny Cloth chest in Ice Cave that has a tile with 4 "definitely not Astos" in front of it? I didn't fight those. Tiamat rematch in Temple of Fiends? Well, I already mentioned that I accidentally skipped that. I fought the Ice Cave's EYE purely out of courtesy. This spell mildly breaks the game, but by itself I wouldn't call it out of line or anything.

Tier 5 gets you Warp, and this is still just Warp. Very handy and together with Float makes getting out of dungeons a lot more comfortable. Warp is fine, Black Wizard also gets it.

After job change, Tier 6 magic gets you "TELE": "Teleports the party to one of a select number of locations. [Can be used if there are 0/1 or more spell charges.]

This teleports you to "Inn" (Coneria) "Ship" (your ship) or "Airship" (guess what). From anywhere. So if a dungeon is going kinda bad, as long as your Time Mage is alive, you can dip. Well, you can also dip when your Time Mage is dead. Just flail the corpse around a bit and you can still TELE, I guess. I do know why it's castable without spell charges. You could softlock yourself if you couldn't, by utilizing the following ability:

"Set Telepoint": With this you can place a new TELE target anywhere, except for inside rooms in dungeons. With this you can just take a short break from dungeon diving, refresh, save and go right back. Together with Float, you can just never fight any enemies again ever, if you want. And this could also get you stuck if you set the telepoint on some island, leave with your (air)ship, then TELE there with no charges left and the use a Tent to save.

I didn't even buy another Tier 6 spell. I did buy some higher tier spells, but only used the Tier 8 Meteor once to check it out. It was fine. On Tier 7 you get a spell that refreshes all spell charges of the target but can't cast on yourself. What is this for? You have unlimited Inn access from anywhere and when are you going to use all of your spell charges in one fight anyway. Time Wizard's Limit Break is "Time Compression", which is a very cute reference. It lets the Time Wizard take 3 turns. I never used this. I meant to, but forgot. On the note of cute references, the Bard has a trait called "Spooniness: Is very spoony.".

So I somehow accidentally stumbled into the perfect support duo for my Black Mage in Bard and Time Mage and also what is probably definitely the most busted job for convenience in the game in Time Mage. Very fun!

I can't say anything about the other jobs. I did unlock NG+, which features stronger monsters and starts you with promoted jobs, so I might check out some of them. Green Mage looked neat, might even do Blue Mage, won't touch Summoner out of principle.

Had a good time with this.

#final fantasy #long post

[d-l-dare]

"Fired Up"

Standing before the class, I went over their homework, much as I do every other day. That's what today was, after all. Average. Just another day to lecture to hundreds of students that usually don't listen, for roughly an hour at a time. It's odd. Usually, I love teaching kids. But lately, it's become less of a passionate job and more of a drag. I think it's because of the abnormal hours I've been sleeping lately. The school has been pushing for more homework for the students, so I spend so many nights staying up late so that I can grade the papers.

Finally, the bell rights to release the students. Glancing up at the clock, a smile spreads across my face, followed by a sigh of relief. It's lunchtime.

As the students pile out toward the cafeteria, I make my way to the teacher's lounge to grab my lunch. A salad with a ham and cheese sandwich. After grabbing my food, I was stopped by another teacher, Mrs. Fergison. She was a good friend of mine. We used to talk in between classes all the time. We weren't good enough friends to talk outside of school. We mainly kept each other company to pass the time. We hadn't talked lately though. I think the extra homework thing was taking a toll on more than just me.

She and I talked for a little while, mainly about some kids' gossip floating around the school. It was interesting, I'd never known her to care much about gossip. Especially when it pertains to the students. Normally we talk about things like TV shows and the food we had a few nights ago. Nothing but small talk.

After we said our goodbyes and parted ways, I made my way back to my classroom. I grabbed my phone from my purse and glanced at the time. I had about twenty minutes to relax.

I watched some funny videos on my phone as I ate. I'd finished my food long before I thought I would have. I must have been pretty hungry.

I was about to throw my trash away when I heard a bell. At first, I thought it was the normal school bell, which would have gone off a lot sooner than I'd thought. Instead, it was the continuous ringing of the fire alarm. I felt my heart race in panic as I heard someone scream from out in the hallway. I hurried to the door, but could only make out a stampede of students rushing down the hall, toward the back door. In running down the hallway, one of them must have bumped the door, because it slammed shut on me. Thankfully I moved before my fingers got smashed in the frame.

I watched them rush past until the crowd died down. I figured this would be the best time to get out there and join them.

I turned the doorknob and my heart sank. The knob wouldn't turn. "What the hell?!" I exclaimed as I tried turning it furiously. The lock was on my side of the door. How could it have gotten stuck? I turned the bolt to be vertical. Nothing. Horizontal. Still nothing.

I quickly scanned the room, hoping I could find something to break the window of the door. I went over a picked up a desk chair. It was heavy and I was struggling to move it over to the door. Eventually, I made it over there. I tried lifting the chair again. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it that far off the ground, no matter how hard I tried. I finally let the chair down. All of my muscles were aching and I needed to catch my breath.

Still, I panicked. How am I going to get out of here?!

I looked over to the window. They were small, but it was worth a try. I made my way over to the only window that had nothing blocking it and looked outside. I knew my classroom was on the second floor, but it's funny how high up that truly feels when you think you might have to jump out of it to escape.

As the thought of jumping out the window flooded my head with incredible fear, I couldn't help but turn around to face the door. The door, as it stood, had dark smoke shooting into the room through the cracks in the door frame.

In a panic, I ran back over to the door to try the knob again. Immediately, I pulled away. The knob was hot to the touch, leaving a deep red mark on my palms. The burning sensation felt incredibly painful. I was fighting back tears as I now started to beat on the door, crying out for help. I pleaded and begged for someone, anyone, to come back for me.

After a few moments, I realized with incredible dread, nobody is coming back for me. This is where it all ends...

***

I grabbed my phone off the desk, hoping there would be a signal, but of course, there was none. Why did the school have to have the worst reception?

Tossing the phone to the side, I made my way to the opposite corner of the room from the door and awaited my inevitable doom. It seemed like an eternity had passed by in a few minutes, but I heard the sound of someone fidgeting with the doorknob. Was this it? Was I being rescued?

I ran to the door just in time to see it being ripped open. At first, I saw nobody on the other side of the door, only flames. That was until I saw it...

It was a ten-foot man, who was covered in fire. It didn't look like a guy that was covered in burns. Instead, it looked almost inhuman. Like a charred corpse and the flames being their skin. As I stood, frozen in fear, it tried to reach out to grab me. However, I took off across the classroom, trying to get as far away from it as possible. I ran to the far side of the room, it chasing close behind me. I made a circle through the desks and charged out of the room.

As I got out into the hallway, I heard it let out an inhuman roar before the ground started shaking under my feet. I turned my head to see the monster now chasing after me at full speed. Thankfully, I was faster.

After what felt like an eternity of running for my life, I finally made it out of the school. Everyone I saw out there was staring at me in shock, unmoving. Then, their eyes darted behind me. I turned to follow their gaze and saw the fire monster burst out of the back doors. It stood straight up, revealing to be much taller than I'd thought. It towered over all of us. In an instant, it reached down and picked me up, instantly burning me alive. All the students below screamed and took off in every direction...

[milarca]

in case anyone is interested in where else to find me and my dozens of sideblogs...

→ @ milarca - main blog. here you'll find general fandom, marvel, star wars, aesthetic posts, shitposting, meta, news, photography, quotes, memes, anything I find generally interesting or funny or inspiring. You can also find me @ milarca on archive of our own where i post my fanfic, a partial list of which is at the bottom of this post.

→ @ wren-by-the-sea - art instagram - you can also find me by the same name on Etsy for my calligraphy and art~

→ @ buckysbaron - exclusively marvel but mostly winterbaron and some winterbones

→ @ crossed-desires (NEW) - sideblog for the vampire chronicles and also AMC's interview with the vampire~

→ @ levamentum - sideblog for interior design, architecture, etc.

→ @ hurt-me-help-me - sideblog for mostly whump

→ @ sweet-andy - sideblog for the walking dead, rick/negan, cast and filming stuff.

→ @ leashesandlavender - soft kink, explit, textual and visual.

My recent Fanfic

→ Riptide (Part 1 of the Winterbaron Push verse) with @flannelsaurus ~ Marvel, Bucky/Zemo, explicit. "Eighteen months on the Raft has alarmingly diminished Helmut Zemo's health. Once the most feared submissive on the Joint Task Force's watch list, the former commander of EKO Scorpion is now dangerously depressed. Bucky Barnes, a dominant with a long and rocky history with the criminal mastermind, is called in to help. His mission: return Zemo to normal so he can finish a thirty year sentence. Easy, except it becomes clear almost immediately that Bucky has never wanted to fail a mission more." [Previously titled “More than a Push”]

→ Tide Rising (Part 2 of the Winterbaron Push verse) with @flannelsaurus ~ Marvel, Bucky/Zemo, explicit. "Even newly collared and now attached to the former Winter Soldier, Helmut Zemo isn't high and dry yet. Hurdles abound, and pleasure is plentiful too, as they seek to secure his permanent freedom…" [Sequel to Riptide, previously titled “More than a Push”]

→ Office Hours with @flannelsaurus ~ Marvel, Bucky/Zemo, explicit. University, student/professor AU. "When a handsome student in Professor Barnes' class comes onto him, Bucky has a difficult time keeping it professional…"

→ Strawberry Wine (Part 1 of Among the Willows) with @ranebowstitches ~ The Walking Dead, Rick/vampire!Negan, explicit. "When animals are found mysteriously drained of blood around the sleepy town of Desert Springs, Sheriff Rick Grimes ventures out to the homesteader Negan’s remote cabin looking for answers. Unfortunately for him, he exhumes a dark secret that he wishes would have stayed buried, deep, deep in the hills of California."

→ Carnival Lights (Part 2 of Among the Willows) with @ranebowstitches ~ "It’s the summer of 1881, and Rick and his vampire lover Negan are going on a trip—a carnival pitched near the bustling town of Modesto, California. The carnival promises to be the time of their lives, and the perfect place for romance. But all is not as it seems, and danger lurks just around every brightly-painted corner…"

→ Stress Relief ~ Marvel, The Winter Soldier/Brock Rumlow, explicit. Hydra Trash Party typical warnings apply. "Rumlow wants to get his mouth f*cked by the Soldier, and Rollins makes it happen."

→ Christmas in New York (Part 1 of Hold My Heart and I’ll Hold Yours) with @ranebowstitches ~ Star Wars, Kylo/Hux, modern AU, ABO, explicit. "When Kylo and Hux are stuck inside because of a snowstorm, they take full advantage of their predicament - until adventure comes calling for them anyway~"

→ Accidental Arrest (Part 2 of Hold My Heart and I’ll Hold Yours) with @ranebowstitches ~ "When Kylo gets picked up by the police for being in the right place at the wrong time, he has to survive in a cold cell until Hux arrives to take him home."

→ Jailbait with @ranebowstitches ~ The Walking Dead, Rick/Negan, modern AU, explicit. "Rick ends up in the state penitentiary and befriends prison boss Negan. Time will tell how much they get along, and how far they're willing to go to help each other…"

[mac-n-choices]

I am bothered by people One-Upping me. I have a friend who loves to do it, or can't help but do it every time I talk about stuff that I have achieved.

Today, it was about Stardew, a Game I have Obsessed on for years. I live on the Wiki. I have 6 *distinct* themed farms. I am even learning how to make Pretty, Aesthetic Farms.

This time, my Partner and I have engaged in a Challenge Run, the Challenge being we have until Spring 1 of Year 3 to get 4 candles from Grandpa's Spirit, and the hard part is that we can only sell Cooked Food*.

So in order to make Cooked Food, you either need an upgraded house (meaning lots of money, which we only get by cooking so that's a catch 22) or the Cookout Kit, which you get at level 9 Foraging.

*We elected to also make money by completing Help Wanted Quests, because Cooked Food was taking too long to get to and we wanted to upgrade my axe (money). We were also allowed to sell cooked food from the trash.

So I power leveled Foraging. I only planted foragables. I picked up every foragable I could find, and I meticulously cut down every tree I came across until like, the 20th day of Summer. It took just under 7 in game weeks of nothing but Foraging skill, but I DID IT.

When we get to the part where my partner proudly states that I got to level 9 foraging in less than 2 seasons, my One-Up buddy pipes up

"Oh yeah, you can do that by the end of spring, I did it on accident once"

I am flabberghasted and SALTY about it. Like... After all that, just "yup, same bro, but I had an easier time I guess" just feels idk disrespectful? Like where do you get off on this one? One, there is no way in Hell that this claim is true. Two, WHY ONE UP THIS???

I cannot tell stories without this person One-Upping all the time, or interrupting to tell the story *for* me. Frankly I'm pissed off by it, and when I do get pissed off about it, he has a whole meltdown like a child.

I have a very personal, very funny story about Squash Soup that I like to tell, or have my sister tell because she tells it well too.

Basically my Family of Origin went away for Thanksgiving, and so I got to kick it with my Sister and we watched One Piece and had a great time.

Sister's Family (who would later pseudo-adopt me) left the two of us (sister and I) with TG goodies for the day. *I* was looking forward to the Butternut Squash Soup, bc that stuff tastes like Heaven.

So we get to a good pausing point in the Anime and shenanigans to go get some goodies. And I go check the fridge, humming to myself a little made-up ditty about the soup, only to stop mid-note and proclaim in horror

"Soup is *GONE!!!*"

Sister immediately informed me that the Soup was in the Garage not the fridge (it was November, the Garage was cold enough to treat like a fridge)

But the funny part is the Delivery of the story. Honestly text doesn't do it justice.

I told One-Up Buddy this story one day, and then he was IMMEDIATELY COMPELLED to tell his own, Much More Dramatic version where instead of soup, it was pie. No Big Feelings About Family or Struggling with being alone, no comraderie with friends, no hilarious ditty, but otherwise Damn near word for word the same story, just a hollow shell of it. He looked Crestfallen and repeated the Punchline when I didn't laugh.

I am bothered when people One-Up me. I find that it really ruins an interaction. I can't BE warm and bubbly or good humored about someone telling me

"That's NOTHIN' compared to what *I've* done!"

Babe, I don't really think you've Done Anything when you talk like that.