[Robin scrambled over the back of the sofa and wedged himself beside Oscar, absently watching TV. Part of him hoped his father wouldn’t wake, but he was a notoriously light sleeper so the chances were slim. Sure enough, Oscar stirred, sleepily wrapping an arm around his son with a cosy hum]
Oscar: Mmh-.. what time is it?
Robin: I don’t know.
Oscar: Late, then…
[Robin shrugged a shoulder, the steady rhythm of his father’s heartbeat soothing his frayed nerves; he wished they could just stay like this forever-.. Oscar’s breathing softened as he threatened to drift off again though, reminding Robin why he’d clambered out of bed in the first place]
Robin: Papa.. can I ask you something?
Oscar: Anything.
[Robin held his breath, readying himself for the inevitable barrage of Oscar’s unpleasant memories]
Robin: Can you tell me the truth about what Larry said? I asked grandma, but she made me promise I’d ask you too-.. that you’d explain it better than her.
Oscar: Is that what you’ve been thinking about this whole time?
Robin: I don’t want you to die again…
Oscar: I’m not going anywhere, I promise.
Robin: You can’t exactly promise something like that.
Oscar: I promise I’ll try my best not to, then.
Robin: You still think about that sorta stuff though, don’t you? How do you know it won’t happen again?
[Oscar sighed as he righted himself and settled Robin atop his knee, wondering what on earth Sidney had told him]
Robin: She said you knew the risks-.. why’d you do it?
Oscar: I wasn’t thinking straight-.. bit off more than I could chew. I was in a pretty bad place at the time.
Robin: Why?
Oscar: I like to keep things to myself, but it doesn’t do you any favours; I used to use all that nasty stuff to bury my feelings, to numb the pain it caused me to keep it all locked up n’ keep going.
Robin: But everyone has secrets, don’t they?
Oscar: They do, the fewer the better though-.. I think you’re as bad as me for bottling stuff up, but it’s so important to talk about things n’ let people help, ‘cause otherwise you’ll just end up finding unhealthy ways to cope instead.
Robin: So, it happened by accident?
Oscar: Yeah-.. it was pretty scary, to be honest.
Robin: But it definitely wasn’t on purpose?
Oscar: Sometimes I figured it’d be easier, but I didn’t want to die, no.
Robin: I don’t want you to either, not ever.
Oscar: It’s normal to be frightened of losing the people you love.
Robin: Really?
Oscar: Yeah-.. I used to worry about my grandad dying when I was your age. Sometimes it’d randomly pop into my head and I’d wonder what I’d do without him n’ get all pissy with everyone ‘til I could be alone, then I’d cry about it.
[Robin felt a twinge of sadness yet smiled faintly, feeling slightly less weird for worrying so excessively]
Robin: Sorry I asked grandma first…
Oscar: It’s alright, being curious is normal too.
[Oscar squeezed Robin tightly, semi-wishing he’d explained a little sooner; he was so mature for his age sometimes]
Oscar: I’ll never ever be upset with you for asking questions, okay? There’s nothing you can’t talk to me about.
Robin: I didn’t want to make you remember.
Oscar: The past is what makes us who we are, buddy-.. I just hope I’ve made enough mistakes for the both of us…