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lingeriae · 9 months

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Birthday Sex by Jeremih ft onyankopon

synopsis - it's onyankopon, your ex's birthday, what happens when you 'accidentally' get dragged to is birth

warnings - cussing, smuttttt, use of the n-word, somewhat toxic relationship, mention of substance abuse and alcohol, possessive ony!, mention of anxiety, fights

pairings - Onyankopon x black! fem reader

you knew in your whole black being that something about sasha suddenly wanting to go out was a bad idea. how could you be so gullible? the signs of her intentions were crystal-fucking-clear but you ignored them because you had faith in the girl,

maybe you weren't gullible to her plan, and the thought of even seeing him was alluring; seeing if anything had changed since you both seperated. seeing if he moved on.

'mmm, God forbid.'

but as you stepped through the doors of connie springers house a sinking feeling immediately made it's way to your stomach, and you wanted to run out of the building to the comfort of your home where you could stalk your ex in peace.

the scene is familiar to you, although you don't usually like parties you have been dragged to a few by people you were close to, by him. And as you continued to scan your surroundings, searching for him out of habit you almost felt disappointed but relieved that you hadn't.

your heart suddenly races as you start to think about him. what he would be wearing, what he would be doing, who he would be doing. trying to stay level headed as you remind yourself that isn't why you're here, and that shouldn't matter because he isn't yours anymore.

sasha suddenly broke your train of thought by speaking up.

"you okay?" she asks, leaning closer to you and raising her voice while her eyes scanned your face for emotion. you arched an eyebrow at her while folding your lips causing her to grin at you.

"oh, don't give me that look!" she giggles throwing her arms around you as she drags you further into the sea of sweaty bodies, "you'll be fine, it's not like you could bump into him with so much people around."

"mhm, sure." you said sarcastically kissing your teeth when she pinched you. she suddenly stopped, removing her arm from around you and scanned the crowd. "im gonna go look for connie, you coming?"

"nah, i'll pass. where there's connie, there's ony." sasha only rolled her eyes in response before disappearing into the sea of people. you leaned against a wall with a sigh watching the room that only grew louder, and scrunching up your nose as the stench of weed and alcohol increased, the feeling of wanting to hide in your own skin increases too and you try not to let it consume you. the scene was getting too overwhelming for you, and anxiety your simmers beneath your skin. all of it immediately stopping as you made eye-contact with him.

'oh shit.' you thought, not only because of how good he looked under the dim and flashing light, but because he was walking towards you and you were too frozen from the shock of seeing him to walk (run) away. as he came closer to you, began thinking off what you would say to him and what he would say to you, and even the possibility of getting back tog-

"hey." that one word had your face heating up, maybe because it interupted your delusional and sick thoughts or because of how long you haven't heard the richness of his voice. you rubbed your glossed lips together, slightly tilting your head as you looked at him.

"hi, happy birthday." you replied looking away from his face when noticing how intence the eye-contact was getting, suddenly feeling self conscious of how his eyes roamed every part of you crossed your arms over your chest. the male infront of you licked his lips at the action, it causing your titties to push up even more than they alrready were.

onyankopon hummed, a smile pulling at his lips as he noticed how flustered you were getting from the little attention he was giving you. "thank you, mama. you look pretty," suddenly feeling shy at his compliement, you bit your lips to hide the smile that you knew would come

"s' dress is mad short though." he brought his hand to the end of your dress that stopped midthigh, tugging on it a little and letting his hand linger there all while maintaining eye-contact with you. his actions caused tingles to flow throughout your body and it felt as if the skin he was touching caught fire. as you replied to his comment, you immediately felt heat rising to your face at your choice of words, cussing yourself out for not thinking before you talked which ony always scolded you about.

"easy acess." you bit your tongue as the words left your lips, ony's eyebrows raised his tongue pushing against his cheek , looking at you with low red rimmed eyes that slowly went up and down your body. ony suddenly leans in towards you, not stopping until his face is inches away from yours, you slowly inhale smelling the mixture of weed and the cologne he had. his sliver nose stud twinkled under the lights, along with diamond earring he had in.

'he smells so good.' you thought watching as ony's eyes dragged from your lips to your eyes, suddenly feeling dizzy because of how good he smelt and how close he was to you. the hand he had on your thigh now trailing up whilst his other hand rests against the wall beside your head, trapping you. his lips parted and you felt as if your legs would give under you as his breath brushed against your lips and because of his next words.

"you givin my pussy away to these lames, mama?" you glance up at him through your eye-lashes, sucking your teeth as if his words had no effect on you. parting your lips to respond, you're suddenly interupted by a high-pitched voice. "omg, hi daddy!" a thick light-skinned girl ran up to ony, hugging him from behind. you glanced at her noticing she had in a blonde lace that looked freshly done, a pink mini-skirt with a matching top to match it and pink boots with fur. the sinking feeling that appeared in your stomach from before came back again as you looked between them.

"happy birthday!" she said, smiling up at him, her smiley twinkling at the movement. her eyes suddenly drifted towards you, scanning you with what you could describ as disgust and jealousy before she turned back to ony who had straightened up and turned to look at her. "who's this?"

pushing yourself off the wall, you cleared your throat before speaking up. "nobody, happy birthday, hope you enjoy." you walked away before he could respond, puffing out your cheeks as you felt your eyes begin to water bringing your hands to pat at the spot under your eyes and try your best to keep your composure. you walk around until you find sasha who was perched on connie's lap passing a blunt to said man who gave you a dimpled smile.

"hi y/n, your outfit is eating!" you snort at connie's words and the dramatic side-eye sasha gave him, "don't ever say some shit like that again bro."

you sat down across from them beside a blonde with glasses and a beard, looking at him from the corner of your eyes as he inhaled the blunt before offering it you, muttering a small thanks before taking it from him and taking a hit. feeling his eyes still on you, even after giving you the blunt you turn with an arched eyebrow, "what?"

he chuckled, shaking his head. "damn. I can't look at you?" you rolled your eyes at his responce, not intreseted in giving him your attention. "you're just pretty s'all." your eyes turn back to meet his and watch the way they roamed your figure, you hummed at his words deciding to check him out too.

from just looking at him you could tell that he worked out, and he was good-looking too, maybe a bit older than you were but still good-looking.

'ony better tho.'

"thank you..."

"zeke." he gave you his name with a toothy grin, a hand coming up to rub at his beard. you returned his smile with on of your own before responding, not noticing that a certain male had walked up to the area, eyeing the man beside you with a clenched jaw. "thank you, zeke."

"ony! happy birthday!" you nearly got whiplash to how quick you turned your head, making eye-contact with ony as he hugged sasha and mumbled a thanks. he never took his eyes off you as he sat beside them. his cheeks sucked in as he inhaled and his eyes never leaving you once as he exhaled the smoke. "you never gave me your name, pretty girl."

turning back to zeke, you suddenly feel speechless as you still feel ony's eyes on you. "It's Y/n." you respond with a smile, a hot feeling flowing throughout your body at the sudden attention your ex was giving you. zeke licked his lips, a smirk on his lips. "pretty, like you."

you eyes drag back to ony, making eye-contact with him again before you look away clearing your throat. "that's corny." zeke chuckles, it sounds sexy and his adam apples bops along with action. he's sexy, but somehow you can't find yourself to indulge in him as you turn to look back at ony who is still looking at you. he's manspreading and his hands rest on his stomach, his eyes are low and intense as they pierce into you not backing down even from being caught multiple times, you can feel your heart speeding up as you continue to look at him. you can't help the heat that spread through you and the way that you push your thighs together, imagining building up the courage to walk up to him and sit on his lap, his hands on your waist as he grinds you-

the sudden feeling of a cold liquid on your skin causes you to gasp and stand up, your dress sticks unto your skin as the liquid drips flows down your body. looking up you see the same girl from before, a pout on her lips as she looks at you with an empty cup in her hand. "what the fuck?!"

"oops, I guess my hand musta slip or something." your eye twitched as you look at her, your hands moving on your own as you searched for something, only to find your phone lifting it and slamming it across her face. a loud smack along with the bitches scream and an "oh my god!" filled room, an arm wrapping around your waist as you moved to punch the girl.

"got me fucked up!" you yelled as you struggled against the person who was holding you back, trying to get another hit on the girl. she started crying as she moved her hands from her face to see the blood from her now broken nose, you watched as ony walked up to her and the way she threw herself at him. "that bitch is crazy! she broke my fuckin nose!" she sobbed clutching unto his jacket, ony looked at you with wide and concened eyes causing you to scoff.

"let go of me bro." you said, pushing the person away only to realize it was zeke. he looked at you with drawn eye-brows parting his lips to speak, stopping once you raised your fingers at him to stop. pulling on your dress you turned to connie, "where's your bathroom?"

once he told you where it was, you gave sasha a reasuring smile before walking off, ignoring the eyes on you as you walked up the stairs, ass shaking with each step you took.

you cussed as you rubbed the top of your dress with a rag, trying not to cry as your hands began to ache because of hard you were rubbing it and how overwhelmed you felt, a sudden knock on the door causing you to sniff,

"someone's in here!" there was silence before the door was pushed open, your lips parting at the person who walked through. ony locked the door before leaning on it, his arms folded across his chest as he watched you kiss your teeth while scrubbing the front of your dress with aggression. "you shoulda locked the door, coulda been anyone bussing in like that."

"thanks, i'll lock it behind you when you get out." you smiled at him sarcastically through the mirror, your breath hitching as he moved closer to you. you looked away from him focusing on your dress and ignoring the warmth you felt as he stood behind you, feeling his chest against your back as he moved around you to grap your wrists pausing your movements.

"look at me." he whispered in your eyes, a quiet gasp coming from you as he placed one of his hands on your waist causing you to arch your ass into him. biting your lips, you shook your head stubbornly at his request.

"aint you supposed to be with that bitch?" you snapped quietly, being mindful to not raise your voice at him. you felt him sigh against you, bringing his hand up to grip your chin, turning you to face him.

"she got what she deserved, im just concerned about you right now." rolling your eyes at his words, you moved your face out of his grip his jaw clenching out of fustration.

"boy, bye. im not bout to do this with you-" you tried to side-step him, only to let out a squeal as he pulled you back towards him, his hands on the small of your back while the other gripped the counter. he narrowed his eyes at you with a lick of his lips, "don't do that, you know better."

a shiver ran through your body at his tone, looking away from him feeling small under his glare. his touch felt warm, almost making you forget how wet your clothes were. he was so close, and if he took another step further you're not sure if you could resist him.

rubbing your lips together, you found the courage in you to meet his glare with one of your own, pursuing your lips together. "you're acting as if she wasn't all up on you, stop being 'concerned' about me and go be concerned about your bitch, bro." his eyebrows drew together while his lips turned down.

"first of all, I dunno who you think your talking to, but im not your fuckin bro, second of all she's not my 'bitch'. Ian been with anybody since you, so for you to say that is crazy." you hated yourself for feeling so relieved, looking down at your dress as you pushed your lips up not knowing what to say. "aint fuck nobody either." he whispered, the way you shifted on your feet not going unnoticed by him. it was silent for a moment, the muffled sound of music from downstairs being the only thing that didn't make it extremely quiet.

"y/n, look at me." he said it so softly, as if he didn't want to scare you. you slowly lifted your head, biting your lip as you looked at him, a shaky breath leaving your lips as he brought his hands to rub across you cheek before bringing it towards his face, his lips meeting yours pausing for a second to see if you would hesitate before diving in. humming you tipped on your toes, wrapping your arms around his neck as he wrappped his around your waist backing you up into the counter. you moaned as he kissed you hard, shoving his tongue into your mouth and bringing his hand down to your ass to squeezing. pulling away you looked up at him, your lips burning along with your cheeks, and your body buzzing with excitement. placing your palms against his pecs, you pushed him weakly with a shake of your head, his body not budging even a little at the force. "o-ony we can't-"

"why?" he wasn't even looking at you, but at your lips, licking his own before meeting your eyes. biting your lip, you rubbed small circles into his pecs. "you're high-"

"never stopped me before." he said, smirking at the slap you gave to his chest, trying to lean down to kiss you again only to be stopped by your hands pushing him away again, rolling his eyes ony looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"that's different. we aint together, ony, we can't do this-"

"why you tryna keep me away from my pussy?" he grabbed your hands, pulling them off of his chest and above your head looking down at you with a stern look, one that had your knees buckling and glad that he was holding you up. you stared up at him speechless, not protesting as he kissed you again before moving to suck on your neck. a whine fell from your lips as he sucked a specific spot, feeling his full lips pull into a grin at your reaction, he continued sucking at the spot feeling himself getting turned on by the sounds you made. "ou, y-you gon leave a mark!" you said making no effort to stop him as he continued his assualt on your neck, pulling back to look at the bruise forming with a proud grin.

"good."

suddenly he lifted you up, placing you on the counter and kneeling down. your thighs closed on instinct, suddenly becomin shy as you looked down at the man who looked back up at you with a confused expression. "you sure about this? I don't want you to regret-"

"spread your legs, mama." he interupted you, looking in between your legs with a concentrated face. "but-"

"aint gon ask again." at the tone of his voice you slowly began to spread your legs, feeling how ony gripped your thighs as he spread them wider. "talkin bout regret. you lost your mind?"

you shake your head no, your chest rising and falling with speed as he used his fingers to push your panties to the side, a hiss leaving his lips at how wet you already were. he brought his finger against your front, running his finger on it. "this for me mama?" pursuing your lips, you tilted your head to the side shaking your head.

"for my new man-ah!" ony flicked your clit, not allowing you to finish your sentence as he looked at you with dark, hooded eyes before he pushed against your hips so your pussy was right infront of his face, bringing his mouth towards it and licking from your hole to your clit. a shiver ran down your spine as your nipples hardened, already feeling like you were going to burst from the simple motion. you gripped his head as he sucked on your clit harshly, a broken moan leaving your lips because of how good he was making you feel. he thrusted his tongue in and out of your pussy, blowing against your clit and bringing his fingers to rub against it. he slid his fingers in and out of you while using his thumb to rub against your clit, the feeling of his fingers hitting tat spongey spot inside of you had you shaking, feeling your release come closer and closer. "cmon, mama. give it to me. can feel her squeezing me so I know she close."

your back arched off of the counter as you felt your vision becoming blurry, not noticing that you were crying. your grip on ony's head tightens as he continued to finger and tongue fuck you "taste so good, mama, can't believe you took this away from me." ony muttered as pulling away for a moment looking at your reactions as you came closer and closer to you release.

"fuck, ony!"

he licked his lips at your moan, palming himself through his sweats as he looks up at you. "m' makin you feel good mama, tell me m makin you feel good."

"m-makin me feel so g-good ony!" he did a scissoring motion with his fingers, holding your thighs as you tried closing them nearing your release. a whine left you as you came on his fingers, your legs shaking because of how hard you came. you breathed deeply, resting on your elbows to look down at ony who was licking off his fingers, your nose scrunching up "you're so nasty."

ony got up, smiling as he looked down at you while licking his lips. "only for you mama."

"mhm" you responded, rolling your eyes moaning as ony grabbed you by throat pulling you towards him, "'mhm' you tryna say something?" he asked threatiningly.

you giggled before leaning up to kiss him, sucking and biting on his lips , tasting yourself maing his grip around your throat tighten. he pulled away, leaning his foreheead against yours. "I wanna fuck you really bad, can I?"

you rubbed your hands across his jaw, nodding as you pecked his lips again before climbing down from the counter having to hold unto ony so you didn't fall. ony kissed your cheek as he turned you over, making you grip the counter. you watched in the mirror as he pushed up your dress, biting his lips at the site of your cunt, he pulled up his shirt holding it up with his teeth allowing you to see the muscles that hide under the material then pulling down his sweats, his dick slapping against his stomach causing you to lick your lips. you watched the creamy precum that pooled his tip spill out, dragging eyes from his dick to his face seeing that his eyes were already on you caused you to press your thighs together. ony smirked raising an eyebrow, narrowing his eyes a bit. "you watchin me?" he said

nodding your head, ony muttered a good in reply before lining up against your hole and slowly pushed into you, both of you gasping at the feeling. he held unto you as he felt your knees buckle, slowly slipping more of himself into you. your pussy gripped unto him as he moved slowly insie of you, squelching at his movements. your grip unto the counter tightened as you tried your best to take him, crying out the more he moved

"s-shit. ion understand, how the f-fuck you so tight." he whispered as he tried to fit all of it inside you, kissing your neck as you whimpered at the stretch after not taking him for so long. "you want me to pull out?" he whispered, looking at you through the mirror and chuckling at the way you quickly shake your head.

"n-no, I can take it, don't pull out." nodding his head, ony slowly moved inside of you until he bottomed out, a moan falling from your lips as you felt his dick pulsing inside of you. he waited a little before moving, hissing at the grip your pussy had on him. "shit. gonna need you to relax for me, mama." he said rubbing circles into your hips, you moaned in response trying your best to do as he says.

"ima move now, alright?"

"okay."

he pushed into you with a quick thrust, and you swear you went to heaven as your body rocked against the bathroom counter. ony grunted softly as he listened to your sounds of pleasure, rocking his cock inside of you at a stready and comforable rhythm. he rests his head on your shoulder, kissing and sucking on your neck. "can't believe you kept the pussy away from me mama,"he muttered as he gave you the deepest thrust yet causing your ass to arch back into him, "talking about 'you deserve better', as if you aren't what's best for me." his thrusts started speeding up at his words, his eyebrows began to draw together and his grips on your hips began to tighten.

"t's like you like breaking my heart, you like doing that shit mama?" he asked, leaning down to look at you. you couldn't even answer, too fucked out on his dick to even come up with words other than his name. he suddenly stopped, looking at you with a blank face. "asked you a question, mama."

you tried to fuck yourself back on him, only or the grip on your hips to tighten as he waited for you to answer him. you shook your head repeatedly as you responded, tears begining to flow down your face. "n-no papa! don't like seeing you hurt, mmm!" your breath hitches as he snaps his hips up into your, turning your head so he could kiss you on your lips. another moan falls from your lips as he hits the same same spongey spot inside you, doing it over and over again.

"tell papa who's pussy this is, cmon mama you can do it." he whispers, angling his hips so he can hit the spot repeatedly driving you over the edge. "yours! y-yours! all yours ony! swear!" you screamed, hiccuping. ony brought his hands to your face wipping your tears.

"you sorry for leaving me, mama?"

"y-yea, m'sorry papa." you whined, moving your hips faster against his so your release could come quickly. ony could tell you meant your words because of how you reached for his hands, kissing them as he continued to fuck into you. ony pulled you up, kissing you as you came muffling your moans, fucking you until he came right inside of you.

he dropped you on the counter, leaning his forehead against your shoulder as you both catched your breaths, his arms came around to wrap around you pressing you against his chest as you scratched the back of his head. "you mean what you said, right?" he asked quietly, your fingers not stopping their movement as you responded with a quiet 'yes'.

he leaned up, looking into your eyes. "i love you."

pausing, you blinked at him before letting a smile spread across your face bringing you hands up to hold his face and bring him towards you. "I love you too, happy birthday ony."

"we'll see if it actually is if I managed to put a baby up in you."

a slap sounded throughtout the bathroom, along with a hiss. "onyankopon!"

#writtenbyjae🧘🏾‍♀#x black fem reader #x black reader #aot🌟#aot #aot x black reader #aot x reader #aot smut #aot onyankopon #onyankopon smut #onyankopon x black y/n #onyankopon x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x black reader #onyankopon snk #onyankopon x black reader #aot onyankopon x black reader

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levilxvr · 5 months

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distraction

PAIRINGS: levi x afab!reader

WARNINGS: nsfw 18+, unprotected, slight breeding kink, edging yk the usual stuff hehe

SUMMARY: you’ve been on levi’s mind during a meeting and he finally gets the chance to fulfil his lustful desires.

ok as usual it’s past midnight and im a lil delusional😍 also this takes place before the final ep bc im lazy to think rn sorry

it’s midday at headquarters and levi is sitting in the meeting hall with his fellow comrades and a few subordinates, attending a briefing with regards to new arrangements in some of the regiments.

of course, the captain finds his current situation rather trivial because he’s been informed of every single detail beforehand. But clearly some four eyed maniac had to drag him along so here he was, arms crossed and a scowl on his face. meanwhile you were probably in the courtyard with the rest of the scouts practising combat and doing drills.

when floch jumped in and started insisting on something due to inconveniences or whatever, levi rolled his eyes and decided to let his mind wander somewhere else. To his favourite topic, you. He shut the rest of the world out and settled on recalling the previous night’s events: the squad finally got a chance to turn in early yesterday, so after dinner he spent the rest of the night tangled under the covers with you.

he could still feel the way your fingers wrapped around him, thumb teasing the swollen tip while strings of precum leaked out and oozed down the shaft. Could still remember the way you felt, so tight and warm as you sunk down onto his pulsing cock. His head hit the headboard as he let out a low moan, hands holding onto your waist as you slowly rode him..

levi.

he heard a faint voice calling out to him somewhere.

he couldn’t think, couldn’t process anything else other than the blissful feeling of your body leaning down to press against his as he began thrusting upwards in desperation, lips meeting yours in a fervent kiss as he took in every sound that escaped from your pretty mouth.

levi!

the voice was calling again, louder this time.

you were both so close, he could tell by the way your pussy was tightening around him. His breathing grew ragged as he began chasing his high, beads of sweat trickling down his forehead as-

“hello? earth to levi!”

someone shook him, hard. hange.

shit, that’s right. you’re still in this damn meeting.

he finally snapped back to reality just to find everyone staring at him.

an uncomfortable sensation in his lower region nearly made him curse out loud when he came to the realisation that all that fantasising had given him a stupid boner. great. he felt like a horny teenager in constant need of sexual relief who couldn’t control himself for just a few hours.

“are you okay captain? you zoned out for a minute.” armin asked from across the table. he nodded silently and then forced himself to focus on the task at hand for a little while more before they were dismissed. levi left in a hurry, first one to exit the room as he strided down the stairs to the main hall to find you.

he needed to relieve himself, feel you around him again as he made love to you like last night. Somehow he could never get enough of you.

why did you have to do this to him?

upon receiving news that the scouts could return to their personal quarters for the next hour before dinner, he didn’t hesitate to rush up the stairs and head to your room. a few urgent knocks on the door were all you needed to open it.

“levi?” the meeting probably ended earlier than expected.

“clothes off, on the bed. now.” There’s no mistaking his intentions in his deep voice. you can almost hear the lust laced in his words as you begin slipping off your jacket.

“been thinking about me, captain?” you smirk as your gaze lingers on the visible tent in his pants. looks like someone was daydreaming about you this whole time after all.

He’s on top of you in an instant, pushing both of you down onto the bed as he litters kisses all over your body, from your face down to the apex of your thighs. seeing his cock all needy and red with clear strings pooling beneath him makes you want to reach out and give him the relief he needs, but levi is too desperate to bother. He just wants to be inside of you.

While he presses wet kisses along your thighs, his hand is rubbing circles on your clit, watching as the warm wetness begins to spread with every stroke of his fingers on your soft folds.

no words are exchanged as he holds your waist down and pushes himself into you, penetrating your cunt as you clench around him. He immediately starts grinding against your hips, wet sounds accompanying yours and his moans as he pounds you.

“s- slow down levi,” you’re panting as he takes your legs and presses them back against your abdomen so he can drive himself deeper. his cock is hitting against your sweet spot so deliciously and it’s driving him insane, and soon the pleasure building up in his core makes him go even faster. he’s already so aroused, it barely takes him long before he feels the need to let go.

“g- gonna cum,” he gasps out, forehead leaning down to touch yours as you take his face in your palms.

“not yet, hold on i wanna try something.”

levi looks into your eyes, glazed over with lust as he pauses his movements. You smile when you look down and see where you’re connected, squeezing around him as he lets out the loudest groan you’ve heard from him so far.

“wait keep going but don’t cum yet,” you position yourself on your elbows, feeling the heat build up inside you. you weren’t gonna give in to him so easily this time, though. your fingers plunge into levi’s hair and he’s begging for you to just let him cum. he needs it so desperately, wants to release his load deep in your pussy over and over.

you brush the hair off his forehead, telling him to look at you.

“please- oh shit, let me cum-” he frowns. his thrusts have slowed down and grown sloppy. you put a hand on his chest and feel the way his heart is pounding like crazy. it turns you on even more knowing how needy he is, to the point where he’s literally pleading for you to give him the relief he desires so much.

“just a little while more, i know you can do it.” you close your eyes and savour the pleasure running through your whole body as his tip repeatedly brushes over the familiar spongy spot. To your surprise, you feel a hot tear drip onto your collar bone and open your eyes to see him tearing up, legs trembling as he tries his best to hold himself together.

“aw, is my dear captain crying?”

“sh- shut up and let me cum brat,” he chokes out. you rest your hands on his back and run your fingers down his muscles as you finally let him release inside you. He lets out a string of mumbled curses as you both ride out several waves of pleasure, your pussy squeezing out every drop of seed he has while you’re breathing his name.

it feels so much more intense this time, and he can’t even think straight as he lets the last of his cum spurt deep inside you. he loves the thought of you taking him so well, letting him fill you up so that hopefully one day you’ll have his children.

But for now, all levi can do is sigh in relief as he slowly pulls out. you’re worn out and satisfied, and he can’t help but curse softly when a mixture of yours and his fluids begin to ooze out of your folds and pool below you.

“come here.” you whisper, letting his body collapse onto you as his forehead hits the pillow beside your shoulder.

“we should do this more often,” he mumbles, and when you respond, he’s already passed out in your arms.

#levi ackerman smut #levi x reader #levi x reader smut #levi smut #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #attack on titan #levi attack on titan #this took me an hour #screaming without the s #lord i need this irl tbh #levi x fem!reader

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jeon-ify · 2 months

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request from the deranged @haohaoshoe

for your own sake, 18+.

carved into you- levi ackerman 🩶

“DOM DOM DOM ASF LEVI ACKERMAN WHO LITERALLY THREATENS ME TO CUT MY THROAT OFF AND CARVES HIS INITIALS INTO ME OR SMTH LIKE THAT

also make me a deranged masochist who follows him like a good girl

and a lot of slapping

i’m his dumpster

he can use me as a fuckdoll

also

a lot of hair pulling

big dick levi

belt as a whip

tie as restraints”

…….

i have no words. here we go!!

—————————————————————————————

“no, we’ve been broken up for the past month now.” in response to your peers who are asking about your ex boyfriend levi, you sigh a breath of “relief” knowing that you don’t have to put up with his toxic psychotic behavior again.

“girl, who broke up with who?” she responds in shock. “are you sure you and levi broke up? it doesn’t seem like it. he’s still posting pictures at your favorite cafe.”

“honestly, y/f/n, i don’t care. i’m over him.”

“apparently, he’s not over you.”

“that’s embarrassing.” you burst out into laughter, your friend playfully slapping your shoulder.

you pull out your phone, blocking him from all socials. the last thing you need is him trying to win you back when you’re the one that left him.

you leave the party after a while. you step out of the front door of the unfamiliar house, seeing a very familiar black rolls royce in front of the house. you see levi step out of the car, standing against the door.

“get in the car, y/n.”

you burst out a laugh, in disbelief that he has the nerve to follow you here.

“you’re fucking delusional, levi.” you spit. you want him to go away, but you already feel your heart bursting from excitement that he’s here, and for more than one reason alone.

to show you that he’s not going anywhere, and neither were you. for as long as you’re living, you’re his to have. and god help anyone who took you from him.

“careful how you speak to me, y/n. you don’t wanna make a choice you’ll regret, hm?” he tilts his head, exploring and questioning your choice of words.

your feet move as if they have a mind of their own, drawn in by the sound of his deep voiced command. your skin crawls with arousal, levi shooting daggers into your legs with his eyes as you walk up to the passenger side of his expensive car while you just stand there with your arms crossed over your chest.

“get in the car, y/n.” he demands.

with no response, his voice grows louder, “get in the fucking car.”

you don’t hesitate to follow his direction, immediately getting into the passenger’s seat.

“where are we going?”

“you’ll see.”

as the car ride becomes longer, you wished you didn’t walk out of that party.

you both arrive to what you believe is his apartment, the building holding up to 30 floors and about 200 rooms on each floor.

“i’m not going down. what the fuck do you not understand about the part where we both said we were done? you’re fucking crazy, levi. if i wanted to be insane too, i would go to an asylum for fuck’s sake. leave me out of whatever sick act you have going on, cus im-“

you’re cut off by levi grabbing your wrist and dragging you with him up to his apartment. with one hand, he unlocks his door, tossing you into his bedroom.

“take your fucking clothes off. when you’re done, on your knees. mouth open, tongue out.”

he unbuttons the first half of his blouse, his silk chest peeking through the blouse. he takes his tie off, wrapping it around his knuckle and leaving the other half to hang. “levi, what are we-“ you’re cut off by a sharp slap to the left side of your face, earning a whimper from your soft throat.

“embarrassing? me still being in love with you is embarrassing? me putting it into your head that you were made for me and nobody else is fucking embarrassing to you, y/n? listen to me. no one will love you but me. do you understand me?” his voice raising, making it clear that you were in fact made for him.

“i don’t belong to you.” you mutter. you felt like he had a fucking magnetic field around you, you’re literally drawn to him no matter the circumstance. you’re lying to yourself. he can see right through your sick act. you’re both deranged, being attracted to his sick and psychotic possessive demeanor.

he bends down to your level, face to face with you as his hand reaches for his pocket, pulling out a black pocket knife. your heart sinks to your ass, afraid that he might actually slit your throat.

“yeah? why are you soaking my floors, then?” the knife pinches your jaw near your chin, forming a papercut-type of scar.

“why’d you get into my car when you could’ve said no? you could’ve called the cops on me, pretty girl.” he continues.

“just can’t stay away from me, can you?” he caresses your face, planting a soft kiss on your temple. your eyes roll back, sighing as his cock hardens in your gaze.

“please, levi, let me touch you.” you beg from beneath him, his eyes threatening to shut in arousal. thighs clenching, your neck veins become prominent in holding your moans in.

“look at you, you disgust me. close your eyes.” he tilts your head up and places his tie around your eyes, blindfolding you from seeing whatever he’s about to do to you.

“i’m sorry,” you gasp. using his knife, he runs it down the valley of your breasts.

“what do i have to do for you to understand that you belong to me?” he twists the knife slowly, poking your skin. you gasp as you feel your blood trickle down your stomach.

“i’ll fucking carve it all over your skin, hm? carve my initials into your pretty pearly skin. right here; L.A., what do you say?” his minty breath fanning in your face as he whispers, quietly but loud enough for you to hear.

“mmm,” you moan in pain, but wanting him to cut into you deeper, your arousal pooling beneath you and between your knees.

“should cut this little throat from the way you speak so ill of me. do you want that?” he grabs your throat, squeezing tightly.

“yeah? cut it then.” you choke out as your tears soak the tie in front of your eyes from the stinging pain. he chuckles from your masochism, making your legs wobble.

“you get me, good girl. we belong together. don’t you understand?” he whines out, almost pleading, but in the most demanding way.

he runs the end of the knife along your bare folds, rubbing circles on your clit. his cold hands contrast with the warmth of your pussy, earning whines from your throat. you hear his belt clanging as what you think he’s doing, landing a sharp whip to your thighs. your body jots as he hits you, making you cry out; your cheeks turning a flushed red.

“you get off on pain, but do you get off on embarrassing me? telling your bitch ass friends that i’m psychotic? i’ll show you psychotic, baby. stand up.” he undoes the tie from your eyes, your eyeliner smudged as he licks away your tears. you stand up as he looks away from you.

“levi,” your voice dry and your throat hitching from how much you’ve cried silently. your heart drops as he turns you around by your shoulders, as you sigh a deep breath of fear.

he brings the cold metal up to your back— the space between your shoulders, carving the letters L.A.. the cold air hits the open cut, making you wince in pain and pleasure.

“stop crying, shhh.” he runs his fingers through your hair, calming you down as he stabs into your skin, “gonna fuck you now, ‘kay?” he groans. you feel his almost solid length against your bare ass, anxious as to how he’ll fit you— given that you haven’t had sex in almost a year, and from how big he was.

he unzips his dress pants, knocking everything off of his dresser, bending you over the cold dark wood of his dresser. he brings his hand up to your hair, throwing your head back, then using his other hand to bring his belt up to your throat. he tightens the belt, using it as a leash, then pulling you up and wrapping the leftover space of the belt around his knuckle as he enters your hole.

“now, what were you,” he slams into your hips, “saying about me being embarrassing, hm?” he slams into you again, tightening the belt around your throat. you whimper in response, feeling the way his cock hits your cervix. again and again.

“you being in love with me is— hhhgh, embarrassing, levi. get over me!” you moan. he and you can feel yourself cumming already, already fucking you faster as you let yourself go.

“put that big ass mouth to use and tell me what the fuck you were made for, bitch.” he fucks you at an ungodly pace, your thighs shaking and ready to give out.

“f-for you to use! fuck, i can’t, please, it’s too much—“ your stomach and abs clench at the feeling of being used by your ex boyfriend, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“oh, but it wasn’t too much when you were begging me to cut you?” by surprise, he brings the pretty knife back up to your throat, almost slicing your skin open. you whimper in pleasure, clenching around him as the way he loses himself.

“fuck, you’re losing me, baby. keep clenching like that.” he groans, throwing his head back and pulling your bare back against his chest.

your legs shake as you push back onto him, fucking yourself on his twitching cock.

“yes! fuck, fuck fuck, feels so nice. wanna feel your pain, daddy.” you moan, laughing as you watch your reflection in the mirror— you’re just as sick as this fucker is.

“look at yourself. maybe you’re the psycho, pretty girl.”

“watch yourself cum. cum all over my cock, fuckin’ belongs to me. cover me in your cum.” he takes the belt off, licking at your cheeks and tasting your salty tears. you gasp, falling weak to his loose thrusts.

“take all my cum, fucking take what i give you like the bitch you are. there you go,”

he slows his thrusts, turning you around to fix your hair and make you “presentable” to go back home.

“look at that glow, guess i fucked you good, hm?”

“fuck you, levi.” you breathe.

“yeah?”

———

oh my god.

#levi ackerman #levi aot #levi x reader #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman smut #anime #aot #aot smut #aot x reader

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darkstarbureau · 7 months

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i get LIVID over something again: the post (you know that i never put titles. im fucking MAD)

post tw: more than one suicide mention

hey man. hey. i dont like bitching about very importamt things to me very much but its one of those times. this may seem incoherent in some parts but im gonna roll with it anyways.

i swear to fucking god. some of you people will say youre an "irl" (absolutely ATROCIOUS term btw. literally do not say this.) and then proceed to go like "im a kinnie and i simp and im fictionkin and im a synpat"

i can confirm that nobody calls themselves an "irl" ever. when you are in a really bad psychotic episode and happen to be indulging in media that your brain hyperfocuses on and start deluding or hallucinating things that are coherent with said media, you didnt "gain an irl". you are in a psychotic episode. you cant collect delusions (UNSHAKEABLE beliefs by the way, grounding yourself is a different thing. but if you bawl like a baby because somebody doesnt think youre twilight sparkle, maybe youre the problem) like blind bag toys?!?

and no, it is not ableist to acknowledge when youre out of that state that you are delusional. it is not a horrific word. it is one thing to use mental illness as an adjective for something you dont like, in that case, that makes you a dick. but i am afraid you cannot suppress your troubles by calling yourself an "irl".

dont even get me started on the people who think that kin and fucking psychosis are one in the same. i dont know if its just me, but it irks me to an unimaginable degree even more to see blogs that group kin, fictionkin, FICTIVES, and PSYCHOSIS, as one whole. on one side, you have a strong liking or relatability to a character. on another, you have a belief that you are an incarnation of a character without delusion involved. on yet another, you have a fragment of underdeveloped personality from a dissociative disorder that has shaped its identity around a character from a media. on yet another fucking side of things, you have a mental state that occurs in people under the influence of some drugs, an injury, extreme pain, schizophrenia, and/or bipolar disorder.

you are not mentally ill if you like a character, want to convince yourself that youre them, and bitch and moan when people dont affirm it: the section

i (do not) regret to inform you that if you are a big fan of a character, you are not psychotic. psychosis is a very serious and distressing state that people often commit suicide from just so they dont have to experience it anymore. if you think that you want psychosis, you dont. i myself consider taking my life every fucking day because of how often ill be in either a psychotic or dissociative state. this is in no way an exaggeration. i know that you people in my screen think that i have a coherent sense of self and reality even if it's false, and you're wrong. it changes all the fucking time. its not cute. not fun. not in any way enjoyable at all. back when i was younger, it would often present in a way that would convince me it wants to help me. now when i try to fight back against it and know its tricks, it turns very ugly very fast. when i run, it slows me down. when i struggle, it sucks me in. when i cry for help, water fills the space my voice was. when i try to swim, sand pushes against the push. but when i succumb, everything stops. even then, i cant win. everything is a question, and i dont think ill ever have the answer; when will it stop? when will it settle?

its not a game of house and your own mental state is not a mannequin to adorn with the worst things the human mind can feel.

say it louder. you cant choose this. you cant. there is no state of disarray where you are conveniently attached to pixels on a screen. "irl disorder" is a thing people actually search on the fucking internet because of you sick fucks. shut the fuck up. did you know that your head doesnt limit what you can be absolutely fucking confused and terrified about to just your favorite video game? i regularly hear things that i ask other people if they did, and they usually say no. i have seen, tasted, smelled, and touched things that disappear when i look away and look back. i have no feeling of connection to your reality. at the same time, everything feels surreal in the worst possible way in the very rare occasion that i can ground myself. i usually don't dissociate when i'm on the computer, because i have always been in that reality. when i step off, it tries its hardest to pull me back to anything that feels like the digital world. i have no goddamn connection to my body.

i want to disappear.

to those people im talking about: i hope this finds you well. you make me want to die even more than i already do. sincerely, gallerian. or nemesis. or seth. i dont know anymore.

#gallerian rants #actually psychotic #actually dissociative

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justinadamoski · 1 year

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What Happened To Me

Alone together in a dark crowded room, my brother and I cannot find a way to escape. As we try to crawl to find an exit, all we seem to feel is cement and boxes. How did this become our lives? I feel as though, I was just an innocent young girl who was the top of her class, living my best life. Now I am 6 feet under.

I am sweating, scared and I am trying to be strong for this little boy beside me. Where am I? Who am I? Why am I here? This seems to be a dream but it feels too real. I hear whimpers from my brother but I am unable to see his face. I wish I could see his face. My hands are roaming around the cement floor to find something that can set us free. Negative thoughts swarm my head, the feeling that this is the end is all I seem to believe.

Are those footsteps i hear? Creaking on the floor boards above my head. It seems faint but i could be delusional. I don’t think I have ever been more scared. Heavy breathing and sweat dripping down my face. I’ve lost my brother. I hear him but I cannot feel his body heat. My thought is to go back the way I came and bring him with me. This all seems like a bad dream.

I tell myself to think positive thoughts, the thoughts of my happiest memories. When I was young and off to watch the horse races with my mom or when my dad took me to see the F1 races. Those were the best times in my life. Maybe if I think positive thoughts I will be able to find a way out sooner. I feel like it’s working. My hearts not racing as much. I know I am fully clothed with my pink and purple running shoes that have always helped me run the fastest. I can escape, I tell myself. If I say one word to my brother he may get upset. I need to stay calm for him.

Those creaking noises seem to be getting louder as time passes. It sounds like someone is pacing above me. I hear a voice. It’s dark and dangerous. I can’t seem to make out who it sounds like although it sounds familiar. It reminds me of someone I used to know. An uncle? Or maybe even a a friends father? The pacing stops. What is happening? The foot steps are getting louder. I hear stairs creaking. I hear a lock and then a door. I see light. A tall figure is standing there. He takes a step towards me. I see this figure reach out.

My eyes open. I jump out of bed. What just happened? I am sweating, my brother is lying there peacefully in my room. There was a thunderstorm. I am okay. Im home. Safe in bed with my dearest brother. It was just a nightmare.

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multiplefandomsblog · 3 years

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Dry Humping w/ Nagito Komaeda

request; P-Perhaps dry humping with Nagito? If not that is okay 👉👈

warnings; dry humping, gender-neutral reader, dub-con??, i am dying, slight humiliation, nagito is pretty good at dirty talk, no fluff, pwp, degradation??? but it’s like idk self-degrading degradation, not edited but i used spell check.

note; i got a pretty unpleasant eye infection so i had to write this with one eye open and the other eye closed- but hey, even diseases can’t stop my hornee *pained laughing* (on another note, i think i might be sick- i can’t breathe through any of my face holes properly, so uploads this week or month will be slower; i can barely see what i’m typing)

also i’m literally so sorry for cutting this off so short but please, i am drowning in my own fluids im so soryr sbhasjdfksdbfsjd please send help i think i am going to pass out /hj

wc; 1k+

“Are you-“ Nagito breathed out from in between your kisses, face flushed as he stared at you through half-lidded eyelashes. “—sure you want to-“ Swallowing down his words, your hands slid down to the waistband of his pants, fingers reaching in between you eagerly.

“S/o-!” He gasped into your mouth, hands that had been awkwardly hovering over your back, darted to your ass, pushing you closer to him selfishly as he arched his back into you ever so slightly.

His calls for your name only seemed to egg you on, as well as his touch; prompting you to practically hop into his lap, perching your core over his bulge. Nagito whined against your lips, fingernails digging in your thighs in desperation.

Whatever pleas, and worries of you not wanting trash like him from earlier, seemed to dissipate into thin air as he bucked his hips into yours. He didn’t seem to have to worry about you not wanting him, as your hips reciprocated his move by squeezing your thighs around his waist.

Nagito shuddered at the pressure, gasping out into your mouth; he muttered your name through pants. As you sucked and nibbled on his bottom lip, your hands fanned out on the back of his neck, cradling him further into you as he kissed you back with fervour.

You pulled away from his lips to take a breath, eyes peeking open to see his flushed face, and his own green stare he bore into you through his eyelashes. Nagito seemed to dislike the fact you stopped kissing him, and though he didn’t say anything about it, the domineering gaze he had on you was enough to start grinding against his lap like before. Dragging your crotch over his, mind you, extremely prominent bulge, you could feel it grow against you; causing you to jerk away and gasp as it had been too much pressure.

The gasp of air had been cut off as Nagito gently but eagerly pushed you to your back, taking things into his own hands as you had been going painfully slow for him. He adjusted your thighs around his waist as he leaned his back and hips into you, delicate and bony hands gripping the sides of your rib cage as if it was his lifeline.

“I’m so sorry; trash like me- Shouldn’t even be touching you, let alone humping you like a whore-ish animal, but-” He whispered, flushed, grinning face right above yours as he bucked his hips into yours, causing you to throw your head back in graceful ecstasy, lips parting as you let out a small moan.

Nagito let out a slightly delusional laugh at the face you made, eyes widening as he wanted to see you more clearly. “Haha, to be fair-” Nagito dipped his fluffy head down and nibbled the sensitive skin of your collar bone, hands sliding up to your shoulder blades as he arched his hips into your crotch a little harder. He spoke nothing but the truth against the crook of your neck, “you seem to be enjoying this a lot.” Mewling, you nodded frantically, urging a small obsessed chuckle from his side.

You bucked your hips up into him, trying to relieve some tension in your nether regions as it had begun to be too much. Nagito had practically scrambled to give you what you wanted, it was at that moment had you remembered that this was still Nagito, despite the domineering hold he had on you; this was still your Nagito.

He pulled his hands away from your back, bringing his forearms up to rest beside your head, lining up his flushed face right above yours. Through pants, his words fanned against your face—and notes of mint hit your nostrils. “I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to see- Ghhah! T-trash like me right above your f-face, huh?” He groaned out, an apologetic smile on his face as he jerked his hips into yours, causing you to moan out a little louder, to his lot.

You shook your head, fingers that had been gripping the sheets beside you, just seconds ago, shot up to his head full of fluffy white hair, pulling it slightly as you pushed him into your own face. His own green eyes widened as if he wasn’t expecting you to do that, breath hitching as he caught the lustful look in your eyes— lustful for him as it seems.

He almost felt pressured to make you feel good, cutting his call of your name off with his own lips on yours— he found himself melting into you, becoming completely immersed in you, your touch, your scent, your lips, your hips- It was as if he was binding himself into you; or at least that’s what he thought was happening.

Nagito had not only been melting into you in mind but also in body, as his knees buckled, causing him to fall and push up riiiiight against your sweet spot. Sure, you can call it a happy accident- but who’s to say Nagito didn’t do that on purpose?

“I’m sorry, so sorry-” He didn’t seem to be as sorry as he said he was, as he began grinding into you quicker, harder; a pace you could barely keep up with though you sat there and still took it with a glass of water.

“N-Nagito—!” You sobbed out suddenly, feeling your own fluids start to soak up your underwear and pants, you felt humiliation- though it had been nothing akin to how Nagito had been feeling. He was already thinking of what to say to you after he gets you to finish, cultivating several ways to beg for your forgiveness straight after.

With his voice slightly shaky from his grinding movements, he spoke anyway, “S-saying a name that belongs to trash like me, surely you know that’s below you, right?” His tone had almost been mocking, teasing; although it hadn’t truly been his intention to sound so. It was strange how he could degrade himself, and make it sound like he was degrading you all at the same time. Either way, it didn’t really matter as it only seemed to make your body grow warmer in arousal.

“Haha- oh god-” His bubbly laugh lowered an octave as you felt him grind especially hard and slow against your hips, you could feel him getting more desperate; the short social cue he had spoken earlier seemed to further your suspicion; he was close.

You arched your back into him and brought his hips closer to yours by wrapping your legs wrapped around his waist snugly. You bucked your hips up into his yet again, back lifting off the mattress as you stifled a loud moan from the increasing pressure.

Nagito didn’t seem to see the point of stifling his moans, as he seemed to moan as loud as he possibly could— fortunately and unfortunately, the pretty, breathy moans had been muffled by the cloth of the top garment you had been wearing, that he had been digging his nose into. It was unfortunate, the moans were too beautiful to be muffled, but you wouldn’t want any of your neighbours to complain, right?

“S/o, h-how close are you? S-seems like trash like me got ahead of myself, huh? I.. Hh- D-don’t think I can last any longer, but maybe I can get you off with my thigh-” You shook your head; though you weren’t opposed to the idea, you certainly were close.

“Nagi- Nagito-” the thing he had last said seemed to slip your lusted mind as you started repeating his name over and over again, the vocal repetitions getting faster as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to your high.

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jikooksgirl19 · 3 years

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My Soulmates 1

Genre:Soulmate AU, fluff,angst, eventual smut

Pairing: Idol Jimin x Lawyer Reader x Idol Jungkook

Warnings: some swearing (Y/N has a trash mouth sometimes)

A/N: I’m so excited to bring you my story. I hope you all enjoy this first chapter.

Please read the teaser and prologue first if you haven’t already.

*********************************************************************

October 7, 2018 4:36pm

The boys had been practicing since 8am that morning with limited breaks, and were tired and hungry. They were all going to dinner and begin making their way to the elevator, laughing and joking with each other. Namjoon was deep in thought when the doors of the elevator opened and a woman came out barreling right into the midst of the group. Her head was down, and she seemed absorbed in something on the iPad she held in her hands when she must have realized what she had done. Namjoon heard her gasp and reach out towards Jimin and Jungkook and thought she might be trying to steady herself as they were reaching out to her as well. He couldn’t believe it when they all began collapsing on the floor, the other boys trying to catch them. He noticed that the three were still grasping onto each other, and a red ring began to encircle their ring fingers and travel up their arms. The other boys were staring at this as well and they looked at each other shaking their heads. All of them mumbled the same thing

...”Oh Shit!”

You felt warm and cocooned for some reason. It was so cozy and you didn’t want to wake up. Wait, when did I go home? Your thoughts were hazy and you were trying to figure out where you were. You tried to stretch and found yourself bumping into something hard. As you started groping around you realized that this was not your pillow at all but felt like a chest. A mans chest. You have never moved so fast as you just did sitting yourself up. “What the hell...!” You look and see you are on a bed with not one but two boys cuddled up around you. Fear immediately sets in as you look around the room and see sleeping figures on another bed and couch.

“What the fuck...!” You said out loud quickly slapping both your hand over your mouth so as not to awaken the men in the room. You are in bed with, and surrounded by BTS. They are the worlds most famous boy band. They are the Nations Treasures. THEY ARE YOUR CLIENTS!!! Your mind explodes right then and there. You think to yourself ’What Tumblr, A03, Wattpad fanfic did I just wake up in.’

‘OH MY GOD IM IN A COMA!!!! That has to be it. There cannot be any other explanation. I’m in a coma and I transported into some sucky ass wannabe Hallmark Movie’.

All you can think of is that you have some sort of brain tumor and have fallen into a life altering, dream fugue-like state and all your teenage and young adult fantasies are blending together therefore you have conjured up some poly bias delusional weirdness in yor muddled brain. This isn’t real...this isn’t real... this isn’t real....... You pinch yourself and...oh shit that hurt. You struggle to get off the bed which isn’t easy by any means when two pairs of arms AND legs keep trying to pull you back down. You debate screaming bloody murder when you hear someone speak.

“You’re awake”. You turned your head and saw someone sitting up rubbing his eyes looking at you. You recognized the leader of said boy band Namjoon from the many many posters around BigHit.

“I am” your voice sounding more calm than you felt. “Can you tell me where I am and why I’m here with all of you like some weird slumber party?” You we’re holding on the the last shreds of professionalism that you could before screaming to the high heavens.

“You don’t remember finding your soulmates” he asked?

“Excuse me, my what now?” You cocked your head like you didn’t hear him right. “What on earth are you going on about? Soulmate, I don’t have a soulmate.”

“Soulmates” he corrected. By now some of the other members were starting to wake up.

“I AM in a COMA”. You were starting to babble incoherently in a mix of Korean and English with some well placed Spanish swear words your mother used to use when you were little and she was mad. You we’re starting to panic and began trying to climb off the bed all the while the two boys on your bed were snoozing away like nothing was happening. You managed to fall off of the bed and skittered backwards like a crab til your back hit the wall. You slapped your cheeks willing yourself to wake up.

Namjoon looked next to him and asked “Jin can you call Yuna? I think she may be able to help out with...” he looked at you realizing he didn’t know your name. Jin got up and walked towards the window to call someone.

“Y/N. Sona Y/N.” I...I..I’m a temporary lawyer working at BigHit on some of your international contracts. I’d like to say nice to meet you but maybe when there’s a less murdery vibe and location.” You were quickly getting your bearings together and began to gather your composure. “Now can you please tell me why I’m here being cuddled to death by those thing one and thing two over there” you point towards the bed. Several giggles and laughs were heard at this. You on the other hand were not sure what was so funny.

A deep voice in the corner answered this time. “Well thing one and two as you called them, or as we like to call them Jimin and Jungkook are your soulmates “ he said matter-of-factly like it was everyday normal. “I’m Taehyung, you can call me Tae or Tae-Tae to piss them off if you want.” His big boxy grin made him look like a mischievous child You couldn’t help but give him a wary smile. Someone else, you think it was J-Hope came towards you and thrust forward a hand. You cautiously took it and he helped you up from the floor. You began dusting off your skirt and straightening your blouse internally thanking the almighty upstairs that you were still clothed while eying all of them suspiciously. “I’m Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi if you want.”

Jin turned around after hanging up and offered you the only chair in the room. You quickly shuffled over sitting down and tried to ask again why you were here. In a bedroom, on a bed with your soulmates and their band mates all in the same room. “ Can someone please just tell me what happened?” Your voice staring to crack as you were close to tears. “This just feels too extrodinary to believe. You keep saying I have soulmates, as in plural. I didn’t even know that was possible.” It was then that you looked at your left hand and saw the red string tatoo. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME....Did I have a stroke? How...what...why...” your words became so jumbled you weren’t making any sense and you were pretty sure a panic attack was just a moment away from tackling your neurotic ass into submission. Jin kneeled in front of you telling you to breathe. “ In through the nose....out through the mouth Y/N. You can do it just breathe in and out, in and out...that’s it, you got it, in...out.” You sat there holding his hands while Tae began rubbing your back in circles as they were trying their best to calm you down. Jin explained to you that he also has a soulmate named Yuna and she is ready to come talk to you about what being attached to an idol can be like.

Across the room you heard a groggy voice “Uugghhhh....get off me Jungkookah. Why are we in bed? What happened” could be heard from the bed you just left. Jimin was sitting up while shoving Jungkook off of him and staring around the room. Jungkook fell off the bed. He jumped up and was getting ready to tackle his hyung who knocked him down when his eyes landed on you. He was confused as to why a woman, a very pretty woman, but a woman nonetheless was sitting in their studio bedroom at BigHit, surrounded by four of his hyungs. “Um, hello” he said quietly making Jimin look in the same direction. Eyes got wide when he also said a quiet hello and then proceeded to ask Namjoon “ What’s going on. Who is she and why are we all in here. I thought we were going to dinner?”

“See, I’m not the only one confused” you exclaimed louder and much squeakier than you meant. “Apparently we are soulmates” you say while gesturing to the both of them and yourself. “Surprise “ you say throwing up jazz hands and beginning to laugh at the outrageous looks on both of their faces.

“Who, who is your soulmate?” They both say at the same time.

Namjoon looks at you knowing you are barely holding on at the moment and answers for you. “All three of you are soulmates”.

They stare at each other then at you then at the group and both start laughing. “Ok ok, good joke hyung, stop playing around. Did you knock us out and this is a mystery mission? “ “Are we on a run BTS episode we didn’t know was being filmed?” They took turns asking like this was a prank or something.

When they see no one other than you are deadly serious they stop and start to freak out as well. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” They look at each other only to both shout out that they couldn’t be soulmates. Why is it just happening now after knowing each other all these years. Brothers yes, soulmates no. NOPE. NO WAY, WHAT THE FUCK.

You get up and walk over to them. You grab both of their left hands and show them the tattoos. You peek inside your shirt and confirm you have the soulmates date above your heart, and tell them to check their chests as well. You strangely feel calm being around the two of them and less like a victim of some K-Pop Serial Killer drama that you stepped into, and you realize they also both settle down while you’re holding onto them.

Namjoon gets up and begins to explain that though it’s rare, there are known cases of multiple soulmates. They are harder to find because all of the mates must be together for their souls to connect. Once they do connect though the bond is stronger than a normal soulmates bond and can come with difficulties due to the relationship aspect of it. Prejudice often follows a poly soulmate connection due to the narrow mindedness of society and can often be looked down on. He tells the three of you that you should tell management right away so they can have a plan in place. Fans aren’t always supportive of their bias’s soulmates, and Y/N having two of the most popular idols in Korea as hers are going to come with challenges. Especially with you being a foreigner.

You three look at each other and back at Namjoon, silently agreeing to these terms. He also suggests you three need time together alone to get to know about each other because you all three had different lives leading up to today, and it would be best to figure out where you all should go from here. Other people’s feelings and relationships are going to be affected by what has happened and you all needed to be prepared for any backlash.

“Ok, now that this is all settled can we please get some dinner?” You hear from the other bed where apparently Yoongi has been napping throughout all the mental breakdowns.

To be continued...

Taglist: @mrcleanheichou @itsminniekat @dreamescapeswriting @seaoffangirling @4evahevah @sonderkook @bisexualmess007 @chxustuff @aviwasabi21 @skyys-universe @ally22042000 @ramblingsofawolfgirl

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darkvveb · 3 years

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hi. apologies in advance if you aren’t okay answering this kind of ask, but i was wondering how exactly one would know they have alters?

i was abused as a child of 3/4/5 and have had a lot of pretty worrying memory issues. because of my psychosis i hear voices in my head a lot, and have come to see them as my ‘imaginary friends’ who share the body with me (i see them in dreams a lot, they have distinct voices/appearances/personalities, stuff like that). i have had suspicions of having did in the past but usually chalked them up to paranoia/delusions, because i feel like if i did have did i would know by now (i’m turning 20 in march). as i can’t get a prof. diagnosis at this time i was wondering if there’s any way to know for sure that you have alters?

thank you if you decide to answer this. if not, i understand. have a nice day. 💛

hello! dw, im okay answering asks like this unless theyre Super Intrusive (like, asking for details of our trauma levels of intrusive) so youre okay!!

firstly, id like to address something you said: "if i did have did, i would know by now." so im 19 years old, turning 20 in june (that hurt to say 😬). and honestly, i had never even considered it until my therapist brought it up. apparently someone else fronted during an appointment and was talking about being a ghost who possessed this body after something terrible happened to the host. since what i have is osdd-1b (basically did with little to no memory loss), i have recollection of this, but it feels foggy, like im watching a movie of someone elses memories. now at the time we had never even thought of us having it, and we told her there was no way we could have did because we dont have amnesia. realization didnt dawn on us until we talked to a friend who has did and they mentioned osdd.

now all of that was basically a very long-winded way of saying that 20 isnt too late to find this out. the thing about did is its usually meant to be covert. and that just means that usually the disorder hides itself from you - after all, you cant be traumatized if you cant remember the trauma, right?

unfortunately, our system currently has pretty poor communication in the headspace. when they speak to me, it often just feels like Thoughts But Slightly Louder, and occasionally if we're really blurred they get louder. but this is just my experience - lots of people hears their alters as if theyre right next to them, so id ask some others about their experiences!

and honestly, i feel you - i have psychosis too, and for the longest time i thought i was just being delusional. sometimes i still do. a lot of what has helped me separate the osdd from the psychosis is the fact that im currently receiving psychiatric treatment for my psychosis (specifically medication), and while my other hallucinations/delusions have lessened or even completely disappeared, my system has remained. in fact, since "discovering" them (for lack of a better word), theyve actually shown themselves more.

when i was a younger, i had very vivid ideas of my "imaginary friends." they lived in my head and they were always with me. they helped me out, chatted with me, cheered me up when i was upset, and helped me get out of (and, lets face it, into) some pretty sticky situations. as i got older, i got self-conscious (lots of weird looks from talking to myself aloud), and so i started to suppress and ignore them, which might be why i lost contact for so long.

one of the ways that i help, like, monitor switches and stuff is with personalities changes. izuru is very numb, doesnt really like most things, and he deals with situations very differently than i would. since i still have some memory of when someone else is fronting (remember, to me its like recollection after watching a movie), im able to say something wasnt me. something you might be able to relate to more is memory loss. i usually dont experience this, but i still do on occasion. ive had people come up to me and mention a conversation weve had before - but i dont remember ever talking to them about that. or, since im a delivery driver, ill go to put a delivery into my gps, thinking ive never been there before, but ill find the address in my recent searches, but the area will be completely unfamiliar to me. it makes class difficult, because ill go to take an exam and not recognize the material for a good chunk of them exam, as if i was never in class. my examples of memory loss are milder than others, so id ask someone who has did for more help with that!

receiving a prof dx is hard, and ive heard its a very long process. truthfully, mine is really only a couch dx. since there isnt any medication that can "fix" did/osdd, ive decided not to take it to my psychiatrist (since really they can only help with symptoms), instead just sticking with going to a therapist whos trained to deal with trauma like this.

from what youve said, it sounds very likely that you could have did (especially with the memory problems, since the psychosis cant really explain those). but, just as a disclaimer, im not a medical professional, so my word is not law

im sorry if this wasnt the most helpful, its 2am and my brain is a little fried @_@ but my messages are always open if you want to chat or if you have more questions, and of course my ask box will remain open if youd prefer to stay anonymous <3

#sorry this is really wordy unfortunately i do Not know how to shut up #but ty for asking <3 and i hope you have a wonderful day #asks #sys

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madam-legba · 5 years

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{bispeccare in bello non licet - WIP}

(Im posting this here as a follow up to my help request; if you’re interested do reach out! I’m looking for someone who can help me edit/correct my English as it is most definitely NOT my native language)

PROLOGUE

I. The escape

Another flash of light broke the darkness of the stormy night, another wave hit with utter force the rocks where the damp building sat. Tiny drops of salty water spread in the air.

The halls of each story of the building resounded with howls of desperation and madness; some cries were distinctly aimed to relatives — usually a mother, asking her how could she ever let something like that happen to her own flesh and blood, many others were mere begs for mercy.

Merlin’s name was a recurrent plea, too, but nor him nor the Dementors had ears to listen to those delusional cries.

The overall noise of the voices, mixed with the rumbles of thunders and the constant lapping of the North Sea, sounded like the worst cacophonous orchestra that ever played on Earth.

That never ending lento, that never stopped at all, forced the prisoners mind to slow dance to their madness; each mind danced alone, yet dreading for someone to save them.

Therefore, sleeping wasn’t a possibility.

With all the chaos that inhabited Azkaban, only a deaf witch or wizard would have ever been capable of a good night of sleep.

Restless were the cries, restless were the guards, restless were the prisoners.

Sleep deprivation added up to the list of reasons why whoever stepped into that living hell of a prison would soon lose their minds.

Furthermore, each cell was built so that only a weak strand of light could pass through the cramped rectangular window where, rarely, a bird would sit. The lack of an understandable difference between daytime and nighttime made it so easy to lose track of time.

A day felt like a year, a month felt like an hour; the constant darkness made it hard to eat, as the prisoners’ body were tricked into believing it was always nighttime. Yet, an enchantment prevented the prisoners from dying of starvation.

Torture was most definitely not legal nor tolerated, especially if it was by the hands of the Minister of Magic, but it could easily be masked as aid.

An excuse at saving prisoners from certain death was nothing but another way of punishing the inhabitants of Azkaban.

If it wasn’t for some kind jailer, no wizard could have said exactly for how long they’ve been chained to that miserable, rotting spot of a penitentiary. Not that it really mattered, as most of those who were imprisoned would never again get to see the light of the day as free citizens.

They were bound to rot in that hell of a place, abandoned by their families, beliefs and minds. Abandoned by a community that was supposed to educate them.

Alone.

The flashes of light - lightning of a never-ending storm - were the only quivering lamps of each cell.

At the highest floor of that boundless slimy hell that Azkaban was, a witch sat huddled up in a corner of her room.

Her hair was a messy curly ball around her head, some wild locks were hanging free from the main skein that was now harsher than ever, due to the salty drops of water that clogged the air.

Her face was so gaunt, her black tired eyes were popping out of their orbits, seemingly bigger and rounder than what they truly were. Her pale, white skin was opaque as if blood didn’t run at all below the level of that pearl-like white skin.

Her prisoner attire, that once fit her so well was now redundant on her small frame.

She was gazing at her left arm with a clinical attention, a vein pulsed in the middle of her forehead as a clear sign of her concentration.

The mark on her arm had considerably faded since the day her Lord had somehow been harmed and debilitated by the facts of Godric’s Hollow but, nevertheless, it was there.

She knew it meant he was still alive, he had explained to her –– only her, of course, her most faithful follower and pupil –– exactly how that kind of magic worked: as long as the wizard who casted the spell was alive, so was the mark. Whereas, if the warlock who casted the spell died, the mark would have been imprinted on the markeds’ skin as a scar.

The witch studied her mark with utter care, incredulously eying every detail, every turn of the snake, every shadow. It looked like that mark was the only thing able to keep her madness at bay given how silently and composedly she gazed at the magic tattoo.

Then, with a barely audible whisper, filled with hope and madness, she broke her unusual silence.

“He’s back.”

Her round eyes studied the pale drawing on her arm with deranged meticulousness for the nth time, looking for confirmation. The change in its colour was barely noticeable and to anybody else, it would have been unrecognizable.

Not to her, though, her who passed her days checking for an update on her arm, her who had patiently waiting in that hell of a prison for His return.

Not to her.

She was sure her dark mark was a grade darker than what it had been just a few seconds before.

“He’s back, he truly is.” She repeated, louder than before but, still, her tone was just above a whisper.

It was enough.

An annoyed intense grunt came from the wall to her right, she easily ignored it, engrossed as she was in the epiphany that had just struck her.

The witch leaned down on her forearm to kiss the mark with renewed spirit, a long detailed trail of kisses covered each spot of her strange tattoo.

“He’s back! He’s back, He’s back, He’s—” She quickly covered her mouth with the palm of her dirty, dry hand and wearily looked around to check her surroundings. How ungrateful of her, to speak so poorly of her Lord.

What a poor choice of words. ‘He’s back’, He’s never been gone at all. He was just waiting for the right time to come back, He must have spent some time regaining his strength.

She shook her head, ashamed of her own behaviour, her pompous mass of hair followed her movements. There was a jiff of hesitation, then she proceeded to correct her previous choice of words. “— he’s never been gone at all. My master...I knew it! I knew this day would come, I’ve never lost faith, my Lord, not even once, not even for a single teeny tiny fraction of a second. I’ve waited, faithfully, and now we’ll be tog––”

Again, an interruption.

The wall to her right spoke, not bothering to hide its disdain for the witch. “You’re delusional.” There was a shade of tiredness in his tone.

How dare he speak to her?

In the fury of the moment, the witch had tried to get up to get closer to the wall and break it down with her bare hands. Sadly, she forgot she had been handcuffed with heavy sharp metal strings and she almost tumbled face first on the floor. Almost.

“Shut up, shut up! HE’S ALIVE AND WELL!” Came the reply of the woman, she wanted everybody on that god-awful ground to know the truth.

Their loyalty was going to be rewarded, they didn’t face Azkaban for anything. She could feel her heartbeat increase as time went by, she knew they would have joined soon for a meal. “Rod, are you there?” This time, her voice was more trembling, giving away her excitement.

She didn’t know exactly where her husband had been accommodated, but she was well aware he had been restricted on her same ground.

She liked to believe only a few cells separated them, which had to be true since they had spoken – better yet, shouted to each other – on several occasions since day one of their confinement for life.

She was about to get to her feet again when a shiver of cold ran through her spine.

She brought a hand to her chest, grasping the tissue of her uniform to cover and warm the exposed skin. The temperature had dropped in just a speck of time, and it wasn’t due to the howling icy wind that blew outside.

Immediately, she looked down: the damp floor was turning quickly and way too easily into ice. That could only mean one thing.

Her first instinct was to seek shelter, but her four corners room provided none, no shield to use, her body was her only defence.

Even though her legs were telling her to move away and her throat was aching for a scream that she just couldn’t afford to let loose – she did have a reputation, for Merlin’s beard! – she stood still.

The layer of ice on the floor was getting thicker, the creature was coming for her.

Gritting her teeth, she cursed her ass for having been so naive. How could she ever forget where she was? She had let her excitement win and now she’d be punished for her misjudgement. That thing was coming to steal her only happy thought, then it would have killed her.

I’m not going quietly, she thought to herself as she collected all her strength and courage.

She had only managed to grab in each hand the chains of her handcuffs when the creature poked through the bars of the entering wall of her cell.

It looked like a giant black ghost, floating over the ground in all its sick glory. Its bony, dark fingers caressed the bars separating the two figures from physical contact.

Suddenly, it was hard to breathe. Bellatrix opened her mouth to suck frozen air in her lungs, but the air felt thicker, it just could not pass.

She tried to make a fuss out of her chains, she wanted to shake them, slam them into the walls, make any kind of noise to get that thing to move, to make it scared of her and not the other way around. However, she knew it didn’t work that way with dementors, but logic wasn’t something she could count on at that moment.

The thing lingered longer, it felt like it was staring right at her soul.

She had never felt so hopeless in her whole life, she wanted to disappear and to rot in a corner of the cell, she felt like she truly deserved to disappear.

She closed her eyes and waited for the dementor to unlock her door and take away her soul. Her ears were resounding with the erratic sound of her beating heart.

The witch peaked through her eyes, curious to know why it was taking so long and –– it was gone.

Only then she let go of a shaky breath she had been holding. She collapsed on the frozen floor, only to then crawl near the bars.

The dementor had passed over, she’d never been its prey, to begin with. A few feet away, a young wizard was screaming his lungs out as the dark ghost deprived him of his joys.

She couldn’t know for how long she had watched that disgusting show, nor how long she stayed there contemplating the renewed emptiness of her thoughts.

It must have been hours.

Only when she took her right hand over her left wrist to move the handcuff to a strip of skin that wasn’t already cut open she remembered what had happened.

She gazed at her mark in shock, then she sang her chant from the top.

“He’s… alive. I… see it. Do you, Rod?, I see it, clear as day, can you see it too? He’s alive, he’s there, he’s coming again!”

“Will you choke on your tongue already, he’s gone!”

She turned her head to her right, looking at the wall as if it was to be held responsible for such an attack on her person.

How. Dare. He. Her jaw locked, a molar tooth was cracking under the pressure of the muscle.

“SHUT UP!” Fist clenched, ready to physically fight that brat of a cousin. “Filthy blood traitor, good to nothing! What would you know?!” Crawling to the wall on all four, she hardly slammed her fists on the hard, cold bricks, the metallic chains clashed at each hit. “What would your little muggle-shagging-flea-ridden brain KNOW!”

She slammed her fists once again on the rock bricks to nail her point as a picture to the wall. “My poor lord, all alone, they all turned their backs on you. They don’t deserve you, they’re not worthy of your attention.” Her voice, previously gruff and resentful, had turned in an affectionate, pitiful whisper aimed to the mark on her left forearm.

“Guards?” The voice called jokingly, laughing to himself. They both knew nobody was going to show up, they never would. The prisoners were abandoned to themselves, abandoned to die alone. “Medical attention is needed! My dear cousin has definitely lost her fragile and already compromised sanity.”

“But I am, my faith never waved. I’ve patiently waited,, I’ve stood by your side ––”

“Ha, and look where that got you.” He spat lightly, failing to stop that nauseating litany.

“–– I’ll always stand by your side.” Bellatrix kept on as if she hadn’t even heard Sirius’s snarky comment.

“Confirmation enough for them to keep you locked up in here until a dementor will finally take pity on you and free you with a goodbye kiss.”

A corner of his lips lifted up to his cheek as “silence” had finally been restored. Cries of desperation and madness could still be heard from other cells, but at least the death eater had ceased her ridiculous chant.

“Sirius, dearie?” Bellatrix sounded quizzical, but he knew better than to keep going along her insanity. “Don’t you DARE INTERRUPT ME when I’m talking to HIM!” Her last word echoed in the aisle of the prison.

In the cell next to hers, Sirius shook his head. He was so used to her shouts and rants that he didn’t even flinch at her outburst. “Let me knock some good sense into that rotten head of yours.” His voice calm and controlled perfectly masked the angry bark that followed. “He’s DEAD!”

The wizard was expecting a shout or the muffled sound of her cousin’s hands on their common wall, but Bellatrix had other plans.

At first, there were light puffs of air, but it soon became a loud hysteric cackle. “Dead?” She repeated, almost unsure she heard correctly. “Oh, no, no-no-no. The only dead people I know are the Potters, you silly puppy, and that’s on you.”

“I’ll kill you!”

If the clinks of chains were any indication, Sirius must have raised to his feet to come after Bellatrix. “You coming to get me, Sir?”

Further laughter came from the witch, but it wasn’t loud enough to cover the repeated “I will kill you” coming from her neighbour.

“You wouldn’t even get to hex my pinky before I’ve got you laying on your back, crying for mercy.” Spat the woman, aroused by the thought alone.

“I will KILL YOU Bellatrix!” He was rabid, the only mention of his best friend was enough motivation for him to actually earn a reason to deserve that place.

“Is that a promise, pup?” She teased him, gleefully. “I’m afraid it’ll have to wait.”

She ignored the profanities from the cell on her right, ready to commit to her destiny. She glanced at the tiny rectangular window, then she checked the hallway of the ground.

A sly smirk crawled up her face, the time had come.

Bellatrix was done waiting.

She had mustered through all that time in Azkaban only because she hadn’t had proof of a real return of her Lord, but she was resolute in her revelation, now.

He was out there, somewhere, and he needed help – her help.

She closed her eyes and she collected the concentration needed for that spell. It took her a little longer than what it used to take, but eventually, she managed to turn.

The metallic chains fell heavily to the ground, she was free. With a flop of her dark wings, she hopped on the window of the cell.

She looked down and she studied the area surrounding the prison.

The land was nowhere to be seen.

She wasn’t sure she could survive the journey, food deprived as she was, but she had to try.

Curiosity had the best over her, so instead of departing immediately, she flew to the window of Sirius cell. He had never seen her animagus form and he sure couldn’t recognize her, clueless as he was, so she lingered on the windowsill.

A single screech, just to catch his attention. Their eyes met, then the blackbird was gone.

#bellamione #bellatrix black #bellatrix lestrange #sirius black #azkaban #fanfic #fic #wip #bellatrix black x hermione granger #bellatrix x hermione #help #edit #beta #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fandom #bellamione fic #bellamione fics

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valsjuls · 5 years

Text

fire & desire - a juliantina fanfic

(1/?)

Prompt: Pining and denial. Juliana finds herself falling for Valentina but tries to convince herself that it's just nothing and it isn't working, especially if Valentina is going to shamelessly caress her hand in front of her and convince her to get drunk Read here or https://archiveofourown.org/works/17524481

___

Valentina doesn’t know how her fingertips are like fire whenever she brushes them alone Juliana impulsively. How could she know? She isn’t aware how much Juliana was pining for her ever since the day she’s met her and that’s okay, at least that’s what Juliana tells herself. Day after day since they’ve met, the amount of time they spend together is just ridiculous. Maybe Juliana isn’t falling for her new friend, maybe she’s just so appreciative of having an instant bond like this with another girl. She hasn’t had this close of a friend in so long because of the constant moving her mom and her go through, she thinks.

However it’s the moments where it feels like absolutely no one else in the world exists but the two of them when they’re melted alone together. Her heart and mind is all over the place when she wonders about the “what if’s”. What if Valentina reciprocated these feelings back? What if all the times Valentina pressed her forehead against hers was just a test to see if it was okay for her to lean in closer? What if Juliana is just delusional and romanticizing everything? She tries to bring herself back to reality. And reality is, Valentina is not into her and she has a whole boyfriend! Lucho. The asshole. Juliana shakes her head at the thought of him because how could she be someone like that?

“Are you okay?” The sound of Valentina’s voice snaps her out of her running thoughts.

“Yeah!” She accidentally responds very fast.

Valentina raises her eyebrow at her and smiles. God, why is she looking at me like that? Juliana whines to herself.

They were watching a movie with Sergio and Lucho, where Sergio was on her left side, Valentina on her right, and Lucho on the other side of Valentina. The two were in the middle of the guys but Juliana just wishes Valentina would give up trying to hook up Sergio with her, because that will just never happen. It’s not that she has anything against Sergio, well he could be narcissistic, but it’s in general that she finds men repulsive most times to the point she doesn’t even want to imagine herself romantically involved with one. Women, on the other hand, she’s never really put too much thought into but with Valentina, it feels so personal and connected. She furrows her eyebrow as she gets lost in her thoughts once again.

Okay, maybe she likes the girl, but it’s harmless. It’s okay. It’s just a lovely imagination to get past the day. Nothing more and nothing less.. but if Lucho tries to sneak another damn kiss on Valentina’s neck and grip her thigh again, she’s going to lose it and the next thing she knows, he’s doing exactly that.

At the same time, Sergio is trying to put his arm around her but she stands up and excuses herself to the bathroom before he gets the chance to. There’s never been more of a moment in her life that she rather be at home or even rather selling lottery tickets at the park, just anything to get out of this situation and maybe never come back. How much longer can she deal with this?

—

Sergio and Lucho leave not so long after the movie ends because somewhere during the movie, Valentina is yelling at Lucho for something he said and it leads to him making comments about her dead father so she kicked him out and told him that she rather spend time with Juliana. She smiled to herself hard when she overheard that.

“Babe, I didn’t mean to bring your dad up-“ Lucho pleads but Valentina shuts the door in his face and locks it with her back against the door.

Juliana walks up to her and asks if she was okay. Valentina just smiles at her, okay she has to be stopped like seriously, Juliana thinks to herself. “I’m okay. Thank you for being here with me this late,” The tall girl hugs her in relief.

Juliana lifts her arms slowly and hugs back, with her open hands placed on the other girl’s back. “Always.” She says softly with the feeling in her chest aching.

Valentina pulls away from the hug. “I need a shot!” The girl says before skipping off to the kitchen. Juliana’s smiling because this is really her favorite person, she wouldn’t want to be around anyone else but her, but as a friend! Of course. Again, nothing more and nothing less.

“Are you going to take one with me?” Valentina pours tequila into two shot glasses, as she Juliana has already made her decision.

“No, but I’ll cheer for you as you take both of them,” She shakes her head as encouragement at the other girl. Juliana has never been drunk in her life and she didn’t want to start tonight and not be in her right mind around Valentina. That’s risky. Not that there’s anything to be risky about in the first place, why would there be?- and Juliana’s mind conflicts with itself once again.

“Come on, Juls. Just one shot,” Valentina has the devil’s water in her hand in front of Juliana, wanting for her to retrieve it. Juliana looks down at the tequila and back up at Valentina, who has this look on her face that she puts on anytime she wants something. And it works. Damn it, Juls.

Juliana takes the tiny glass and takes a deep breath in. “Just one.” She repeats and Valentina smiles hard.

They cling the glasses together and take the shot with their heads tilted back. It fucking stings. A heavy ass lingering sting. The tequila slides down her throat, leaving also a warm feeling. Valentina claps for her and takes the glass out of her hand.

“One more,” The girl laughs.

“Val!” Juliana’s eyes widen.

“Juls!” Valentina responds quickly and they both burst out laughing. This. This moment, right here. It’s so easy being happy around her, it scares Juliana. She doesn’t ever want to lose this girl.

Valentina takes a couple steps back to Juliana with another round and she isn’t sure about this at all. “Val, I don’t think so,” She says with her head shaking no.

The taller girl sets the shot glasses down on the counter and reaches for Juliana’s hands, caressing them with her thumb as she keeps her eyes fixated with Juliana’s. “One night. Just let yourself go for one night,” Her words and soft and so pleading, it’s making Juliana melt.

“I-I don’t know how I’ll get home,” Juliana tries to make this excuse but Valentina smiled like she already that something in mind.

“Stay over,” Valentina suggests.

“Val, no,” Juliana is so used to shutting down anything Valentina suggests because the girl once literally offered to buy her a car. She doesn’t want to feel like she’s intruding.

“We can have breakfast together in the morning, you love breakfast!” She’s trying to convince Juliana and it’s not her words that are making this hard for her to say no, it’s her hands and how terribly right it feels.

“Okay.” Juliana rolls her eyes and smiles.

“Okay?!” Valentina’s voice gets louder as she takes her hands and claps.

“Val! Shh!” She laughs and takes the shot glass from the counter.

Tequila is like water for Valentina, and for Juliana, well.. Her eyes get a little red.

Juliana watches Valentina pour tequila in the glass for another shot. She grins and asks, “Why does it feel like you’re going to mess my life up?”

Valentina lips curve as she sets the bottle upright and looks at Juliana. She licks her lips and replies, “A little mess never hurt anybody.”

___

Thank you for reading, more is yet to come!

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#juliana x valentina #juliana valdes #juliantina #valentina carvajal #amar a muerte #mi

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