#then we stopped having cable after like season 3 so I could no longer watch it

[little-lost-canary]

Uhhhh I feel this speaks for itself. Sorry?

#ghost art #ninjago #like I loved this show so much as a kid #then we stopped having cable after like season 3 so I could no longer watch it #there was a hot minute with the movie #idk if this is an unpopular opinion #but I liked the movie #I thought it was really funny #anywho you should know where this is gonna be going by now #I’ve got opinions #& I’m gonna make a damn super complicated AU that rewrites the entire plot for them #yes I know it’s not cannon #I’ve studied that god awful Lego cannon so hard specifically so I would know exactly HOW I was gonna throw it away #anywho this is a part 1? #it’s where I’m starting #there is a backlog of crappy stuff in my poor book that is now going to see the speckled light of day #this is for you @definitelynotyourcousin #you better see this June or I’ll end your puny life

[jerrienelock]

Without You - Sadie Sink

Takes place after the filming of Stranger Things Season 3

Exhausted.

Sadie is exhausted from all her sleepless nights. The sleep she longs for, no longer around, not since you left. She misses your presence, your hugs, your delicate words, your gentle touches. She just wants to be in your arms relishing in your radiant warmth, feeling your loving kisses to the back of her head.

She just wishes you had told her how you were feeling before that fateful day happened.

Splashes of water coat her face, trying to wake herself up, and cleanse her mind of you so she is prepared for her first interview since you left. Sadie shuts the water off, her hands now firmly on the sink. Her gaze locks with her reflection. Her once smooth skin, disturbed with protruding deep purple bags under her broken teal eyes. Her lips automatically dropping into a deep miserable frown, she finds no need for her mouth to break away from that position for it was practically engraved into her skin.

But soon she will have to tear it out and upturn the frown in a mask of joy and perfection. She doesn't want to do that, she just wants to go home and cry into one of your hoodies and not come out for days on end or until filming starts up again.

She should be strong, but without you there it feels like her whole world is slowly falling apart, and just a gentle push can send it tumbling down. You were her rock, her saviour, her superhero that fends off all the bad guys for her.

But now that you're gone, she has to do that all alone.

An interview without you at her side feels so daunting, she won't be able to clutch onto your hands when she feels a slight bit of nerves. She won't be able to rely on you to get through the merciless questions that will only be worse, now that you're gone.

"Sades?" A soft voice calls from behind the bathroom door. Sadie quickly stands up straight and regains her composure just as the door opens to reveal Millie. "Oh Sades," The Fifteen-year-old says sympathetically opening her arms for the redhead.

Sadie instantly buries herself into the younger girl. "I miss her." She mutters into Millie's shoulder.

"I miss her too."

Millie tightens the hug and she stands there holding Sadie with all her might, afraid that if she were to let go the older girl will break down and shatter right in front of her. But she could feel Sadie begin to sob and heave in her arms. "It's okay," Millie hushes the girl, her one hand rubbing Sadie's back delicately.

After a few more minutes Sadie tears away brushing away her running tears, "I got given the camera she would do her diary entries on. Could we maybe watch it later, at my house with the boys?"

Millie nods, "We would love to do that. Now come Sades, we have to go, it's going to start soon."

The interview was the longest two hours of Sadie's life, she wanted to hide away from all the questions and sympathetic looks she had been given throughout. Noah had noticed her discomfort and had his hand placed on hers comforting the hurting redhead all throughout. The rest of the cast had helped with the questions she had found quite hard to answer, the one's involving you, and how she was feeling since your passing.

But now she sits in her living room cuddled into Millie, with your stuffed dog, watching as the boys try to hook up your old camera, all arguing as they figure out what cable goes where. This earns a small smile from Sadie.

Soon the boys get the camera working and instantly your bright cheery face pops up on the TV. Sadie sits up a little straighter at the sight of you, her heart both racing and aching at the same time. Millie pulls the girl closer to her, in a way of further comforting her but also to make room for Caleb who wanted to sit next to the pair while the others sat on the ground in front of the couch.

"Hello!" Your voice exclaims through the speakers. "Welcome to Diary Entry One! I am as you can see on the set of Stranger Things Season Two!" The camera flicks around showing the bustling set before flicking back around.

The cast knew exactly when this first took place, the first day of filming just after they had all met Sadie.

"We got a new girl here as well, her name is Sadie Sink." You gush into the camera, a pink hue evident on your cheeks. "She's really nice... and pretty." You murmur the last part looking off to the side. "Anyways! Let's go see her!" You quickly rush off to where you had been looking at, camera in tow and stop at a then fifteen-year-old Sadie, "Hello bloody tampon, say hi to the camera!"

Everyone laughs, including Sadie who remembers that exact moment.

"What did you just call me?" Sadie questions in disbelief and You laugh, "You heard me." Before Sadie could say anything else, you quickly leave and shut the camera off.

"Hello!" You shout  with Finn alongside you, "This is, drum roll please Wolf boy," Finn drums his hands on his lap, "Diary Entry Two!" You and Finn cheer loudly capturing the attention of some of the crew members behind you. They immediately hush you both as they film a scene involving Sadie and Caleb. You and Finn quietly apologise before making your way over to Dacre who speaks with Natalia and Joe.

"Dacre!" Finn calls out causing the man to stop and turn to them, a bright smile on his face.

"Hello Lacey, Mike. What can I do for you?"

"Can you answer some-" Finn begins but you cut him off abruptly

"Is Sadie single?"

Finn turns to you and the camera wide-eyed. Dacre raises a brow, throwing a quick glance over to Natalia and Joe. "I don't know? Why, are you interested?"

Your voice sounds panicked from behind the camera, "No! I mean, Finn is."

"Y/n!" Finn shouts, "I don't!" He quickly grabs the camera from your grip and turns it to face a laughing you before cutting the feed.

"Oh, so that's how that rumour sprouted. You look so scared," Sadie giggles and Finn sends her a mocking glare.

"I didn't know she was going to say that okay?" He chuckles.

The next video rolls on and it shows both Sadie and you.

You set the camera down in front of Sadie who was busy getting her hair done. She eyes the camera cautiously as the stylist ducks out the way slightly. "This is Diary Entry number three... I think," You sit down on a chair next to her, your stylist moving in to prep your hair. "We are almost finished filming!" You smile and look over to Sadie who does a quick glance at you. "Anyways, it's time."

"Time for what?" Sadie quiers

"Time for the questions silly," You laugh tilting your head back as your stylist  combs your hair. "First question, how has your time on set been?"

"It's been great! Everyone is amazing!"

"Everyone? You sure you don't mean just me?"

Sadie giggles, "Sure."

A few more questions were asked, them mainly being about how she has felt about her time acting and being forced in a room with you and the others. She had opened up slightly about how she felt kind of isolated in the beginning due to everyone already knowing each other until You and Millie kindly took her under your wing.

"Okay last question, do you have eyes for anyone?" You smirk and Sadie goes silent.

"No comment," You gasp.

"What! Sadelyn Sinkhole does have eyes on someone," You lean forward much to your stylests dismay as she pulls you back. "Who is it?"

Once again Sadie replies, "No comment." and you huff.

"I will get it out of you. It may not be today, but it will happen someday."

Sadie's cheeks turn pink and she can't help but hide her smile in your stuffed teddy, reminiscing about how she had ended up spilling her feelings to you not even a day later. To her surprise back then you had reciprocated her feelings and even managed to steal her first kiss, she doing the same to you.

The next video rolls on with you beaming once again in the camera.

"Hello!" You exclaim once again, in the background was the cast in their season two attire watching you with smiles. "This is Diary Entry number four, we have now finished the infamous season two!" The group breaks out into cheers and a round of applause, and you place the camera down on a stand so that everyone was in the frame and move back to go sit next to Sadie, pushing Finn out of the way in the process.

"I can't believe you couldn't tell she liked you!" Finn exclaims gesturing to the action you had pulled. "Your girlfriend literally pushed me out of my seat," He laughs making Sadie snigger.

"So Caleb Mclaughlin." You start, capturing the young boy's attention, "How was it like to kiss the gorgeous Max Mayfield, the infamous MadMax," You tease and the boy bows his head in embarrassment, Everyone laughs and so do you but it was cut short as you began to cough. "You okay Y/n?" Sadie questions and you nod while Sadie not so sneakily brings her hand into yours.

"Wait!" Millie jumps in disbelief her eyes trained at the holding hands, "Were you two a couple then?" She flickers her gaze over to Sadie who turns as red as her hair, "Oh my God! We thought you two got together just before Season Three." Millie smiles slapping Sadie's leg jokingly, "You dirty dogs!"

The entry's continue, this time mostly showing you and Sadie alone. Most of the time, your hands were wrapped around her waist while she holds the camera up at you two in various locations.

"First date!" Sadie exclaims looking lovingly over at you.

*

"Can you see me?" You question trying to look over into the camera to see if you were in the frame- you in fact were not.

* "Sades!" You call out for her from her living room. "I got you something!" The camera flicks down to a necklace with a small pendant in your hand.

While that video shows, Sadie herself glances down at the necklace you had given her and fiddles with it, her heart fluttering in her chest.

*

"Do you think they'll freak out when we tell them?" Sadie questions fiddling with your hand as the camera shows you both walking back onto the set for a reading. You nod, "Oh, most definitely." The camera cuts and then turns back onto an unknowing Millie waiting for you both at the entrance to the reading.

"Y/n! Sadie!- Woah." Millie's eyes go wide as she spots your hands, "Are you two?" She gestures between the both of you. Sadie confirms with a kiss of your cheek causing her to squeal and run in to tell everyone.

* "Hello! And we're back! Season Three of Stranger Things, it's your favourite character Aunt Helga speaking." You laugh at your own words, "I'm joking, it's the best character out of the show, Dustins' sister Lacey. Today we are as usual on our first day back at filming." You cheer, "This is Diary Entry number five."

"Y/n! Where are you?" Dacre calls out in the background, "You have to go get pepper-sprayed in the face!" You widen your eyes slightly, and Dacre appears behind you, "It's just water don't worry."

The camera cuts but then is turned back on to show a smiling Dacre, he flips the camera around and it shows you being dunked in the Henderson's kitchen sink by Caleb and Sadie. "I'm drowning!" You yell out gasping for breaths. "I'd rather you drown than go blind, Lacey," Sadie comments in Max's character. Caleb goes to turn off the tap but instead accidentally turns it on full speed, the water hitting you right in the mouth making you choke and develop a coughing fit. "I didn't mean to literally drown her!" Sadie yells and Caleb throws his hand up defensively, "My hands slipped."

That scene was a blooper itself but yet it was still kept in the actual show.

Many more diary entries ended up being full of bloopers, you hanging with Sadie and sometimes the rest of the crew until it started to change.

There you stand in front of the camera, your hands clutching your chest tightly, "My chest hurts." You croak out, tears swelling in your eyes from the pain.

The cast visibly sit a little straighter at the sight of you.

You stand there for a few more seconds just holding onto your chest before finally you drop your hands down and stand straighter. You furrow your brows, "It's gone. I don't know what it is but it's been happening a lot lately." You announce but quickly shrug it off as you hear your name being called. You grab onto the camera and run out where Sadie is standing waiting for you with a bright white smile. You grab onto your girlfriend's hand and you walk off to your next scene.

Another video rolls on this time showing you setting the camera down in a position so that it showed the set you were on. You are then seen dashing back onto set and getting onto your starting position with Gaten at your side. The video goes on as normal with the familiar star court scene and then all the way to the end, with Dacre having moved it for you to get the right angles where you stand near a casted officer, signalling the end of the filming process.

"Cut," The director yells and cheers are heard all around. You jump up and hug the nearest person to you, this being Sadie and enrapturing her into a joyful kiss before moving on to everyone else.

The mood is noticeably ecstatic and everyone is busy cleaning up, with you having a quick word with Sadie before going to head for your still recording camera, shouting a 'Shut up' to Caleb who had mocked what you said to your girlfriend. Your smile is bright and inviting until it drops to a stone cold expression.

And then you were seen clutching onto your chest, feet staggering and skin paling before dropping to the floor.

"Y/n!" Gaten screams hurtling over to you, just in time to catch you. You weren't moving and the camera shows it, it shows everything happening at that exact moment. It shows Gatens terrified face as he shakes you, trying to wake you up. It shows crew members flying over to you in a hurry. It shows your girlfriend and the others staring at you horrified and worried.

"Someone call an ambulance!" The director yells shoving past all crew members who were just crowded around you. Immediately chest compressions were started.

"Oh God," Caleb murmurs his teary eyes entranced on the TV. He wants to look away but he can't.

Sadie sniffles, her heart aching tremendously at the screen.

Millie and Finn hold a sobbing Sadie in the far corner of the screen, while Noah is seen dashing for the camera and turning it off.

They thought it was the end but another clip rolls and a bloodshot eyed Sadie Sink appears in one of your hoodies, holding your stuffed dog close to her chest. She was in your dressing room, it was known by the pictures you had placed on the walls of your family and the cast behind Sadie.

"Hi Y/n," Sadie croaks out, voice breaking instantly. She can't speak, her throat hurts and her tears just flow out coating your stuffed animal with her tears. "I miss you. It's only been a few hours since you left us, but I miss you so much." She brings your hoodie to wipe away a few of her tears, "I just want to say I love you."

Sadie can't look at the video anymore, her heart aching in great amounts in her chest, her bottom lip quivering noticeably. She turns and shoves her head directly into a saddened Millie who immediately takes her into her arms. Sadie wishes it was you instead.

She can still hear her own shattering voice in the video, each word breaking and every sentence ending with a cry. A cry of mourning. A cry for you. A cry for you to just come back and tell her you're not going anywhere. A cry for her broken heart.

Sobs wrack Sadie's body and a loud cry exits her making the crying cast members cast looks of sorrow, heartbreak and pain at her.

The video proceeds and Sadie is now still sat in your chair, this time not saying anything. Your stuff dog is latched to her chest, her chin sitting on top of the toy while she runs little patterns on her knee- something you would do to her when you felt nervous in interviews or big events. And then the door quietly opens and Sadie is seen turning back abruptly, her head shaking furiously.

"No, no, no, no," She sobs as your dad steps foot into the trailer there to retrieve your stuff. "Please can I keep the camera, please!" Your dad shakes his head sadly, tears in his own eyes as he reaches down to grab hold of the device.

"Please!" Sadie begs, "I can't live without her. I can't live without seeing her!"

The camera cuts off.

***

Masterlist; celebrities

#sadie sink #sadie sink x reader #sadie sink x fem reader #fem! reader

[aidansplaguewind]

I wasn't going to do a Dexter rant but I'm pissed the freak off at all the people hating the finale.

It's so disrespectful to the writers and to Michael C. Hall who said he came back to properly end the show.

We all whined and cried about the original season 8 finale and they came back 10 years later to set it right. How many shows do that?

You all sound like a bunch of kids whining because you can't have it your way.

It was beautifully done. Yeah, there was the m99 mistake. Because civilians can't get m99 and Dexter is a civilian now. Big effin deal. The killings were so damn similar and this guy happened to fake his death??! I mean come on, she was going to figure it out anyway. Miami should have figured it out.

No more seasons are needed. Why, so they can drag it out and possibly dishonor his character some more?

I love how you all think you could do a better job. I'd like to see it.

Fandoms absolutely LOVE to dissect something they claim to love, and rip it to shreds until they make everyone else hate it too. And it's sad. It's heart breaking.

It was never going to end happily ever after.

After I heard Aidan Gillen say he was really upset about all of the backlash on the Game of Thrones series finale because all these people work so hard on this project, and how it was a show that was impossible to end sme and make everyone happy. They do the best they can (I'm paraphrasing) - it changed my perspective on how us viewers can be so disrespectful.

Find the beauty you can in it. If you love something, thats what you do.

Stop dissecting shit and appreciate the story telling the way people used to. Sheesh man. Y'all take the fun and pleasure out of everything.

I been watching Dexter long before streaming services and before most of you could binge it all in two days. I'm not saying that makes anyone less of a fan. But it was a part of my life for years and years (since season 3 basically. Back when you had to subscribe to Showtime through your cable network), so I had longer to sit with it and think about it.

Oh and all of you saying killing Logan was out of character...have you been watching the same show? Dexter kills because he loves it. Because he has to. He needs to. As someone who has been watching and rewatching Dexter for 14 years, I was not at all surprised he killed Logan. He didn't want to but he started shooting at him. Rule #1: Don't Get Caught. Backed into a corner like that he would do ANYTHING to get out. Except to Harrison. But yeah, totally seen it coming he was gonna kill Logan. Obviously y'all either haven't been paying attention or you're seeing Dexter for who you WANT him to be and not for what he really is.

And I'm at peace with how they ended it this time. It was the only right way to end it. He's free now. Why can't you people understand that? His addiction can't control him anymore. I am a recovering addict so I understand him to a degree. And he's finale free.

I'm done.

#dexter #dexter nb #dexter new blood #dexter morgan #dexter finale #dexter spoilers

[booksanxietyandsports]

Stephan Leyhe/Andreas Wellinger - “Like A Fairytale” (fic, pt. 1)

yes, so. this is certainly something. it's a lot longer than my previous two fics, which is why i've decided to post it in two parts. hopefully this one doesn't hurt you too badly. there's tw buried deep in the tags, although i feel like this might be more fun if you don't spoiler yourself with them. enjoy and let me know what you think <3

„Alright boys, hit it. Four in this car, three in the other. Play rock paper scissors or whatever, I genuinely do not care. Meet you back at the hotel.”

With that, Horngacher hands Severin the car keys, then turns around and marches towards the building that hosts the big-boss conference. Which isn’t actually a thing. It’s just what Andi has been calling the meeting of the coaches and the officials and god knows who else is attending in his head because he has absolutely no clue what they will be discussing. Not that he particularly cares.

“I’m calling shotgun!” Constantin immediately sprints towards the passenger side of the closest car, cheering as he opens the door, already pulling up Spotify on his phone and connecting it to the AUX cable. He did two amazing jumps earlier and apparently the adrenaline still hasn’t left his system, which means: A lot of bad 2010 pop songs during the car ride and a singing Consti in the passenger seat.

Andi’s always up for that party.

“I’m driving the baby,” he announces, snatching the car keys from Severin. “Not a baby!” Constantin yells distractedly through the open passenger door, scrolling through his playlist. “Thanks, but I’ll pass,” Karl says, grabbing the keys to the other car out of Severin’s hand and making his way to the driver’s side.

While the others discuss the rest of the car ride arrangement, Andi takes a step closer to Stephan, who’s been uncharacteristically quiet since the competition, even for him. They’re used to Stephan being the perfect picture of quiet contentment after a solid performance, but it’s usually accompanied by a soft smile and a quick laugh at his teammate’s jokes.

Today, there are lines on Stephan’s forehead and Andi doesn’t like it.

“You alright?” he asks quietly, standing directly in front of his best friend. Stephan looks up at him and nods. “Just a headache,” he says, managing a tired smile. “I’m gonna skip the carpool karaoke, though. Seems kind of counterproductive.” Andi nods in agreement, maintaining eye contact. “I can drive with you, if you want?”

Stephan’s smile turns a bit more genuine. He pats Andi’s side in a grateful gesture. “Sweet of you to offer,” he says, “but you did great today and I know how much you actually enjoy singing along to One Direction in the car with Consti. Go on. Drive safely.” “We listened to One Direction once-“ Andi starts to protest, but stops mid-sentence when Stephan’s eyes crinkle with laughter. “Whatever you say, sunshine. See you back at the hotel? We could-“ Stephan stops himself, carefully schooling his face into a more neutral expression. “We could grab something to eat and- and read? For a bit? If you didn’t have any other plans, that is.”

Instead of an answer, Andi’s hands go up to fix the neckline of Stephan’s jacket. He’s impressed Stephan has worked up the courage to ask – not to read his book, not exactly, because that seems to have become a codeword for the weird little routine they have fallen into sometime in the middle of the season. It went a little bit like this: Stephan (loving to read) couldn’t find a comfortable reading position on the, admittedly terrible, hotel beds in Innsbruck. Andi (loving physical contact) opened his arms and let Stephan use him as a pillow and also as a book stand.

It works. They’ve spent most of their evenings like this since then; Andi dozing off or watching a show on his tablet with earphones in, Stephan snuggled into his side, reading quietly, even though he never asks for it. Andi’s aware the older doesn’t like to ask for things, which is why they don’t talk about it. Andi wordlessly opens his arms, Stephan carefully places himself at Andi’s side with a content sigh and that’s the end of it.

Which is exactly the reason why Andi’s getting wary about Stephan’s “just a headache.” If Stephan’s desperate enough to ask for a quiet evening with him, then that’s telling him a lot about his teammate’s state of exhaustion. So what’s he gonna do? Say no?

“Of course we can,” he says softly, “whatever you want. Meet you at the hotel.” Andi leans down, presses a quick kiss to Stephan’s check and looks back at the others, who seem to have come to a decision. Markus skips over to them, slings an arm around Andi’s shoulders and starts pulling him in direction of the car. “Let’s go, Welle. Get ready to fight Consti over the music choice.” Markus climbs into the backseat while Constantin channels his inner Celine Dion with “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.” Pius and Severin collect Stephan and make their way to Karl, who is already waiting in the car, ready to go. Stephan looks back over his shoulder at Andi, who winks.

“We’ll be at the hotel first!” he calls after them. Stephan laughs and Severin turns around. “Of course you will,” he deadpans. “Karl is driving. He’s slower than Pius in the inrun.” “Now hold on a second-“ Pius protests and shoves Severin against the car. The oldest laughs and opens the door, climbing into the backseat. The rest of their conversation is drowned out by Constantin’s and Markus’ singing as Andi occupies the driver’s side, adjusting the seat to his long legs.

“There were nights of endless pleasure-“ Constantin yells dramatically.

“-it was more than all your laws allow!” Markus continues, grabbing Consti’s shoulders from the seat behind him. Andi laughs and starts the car, joining in with the chorus.

“Baby, baby, baby when you touch me like this-“

X

It’s a lot quieter in the other car. Karl is softly humming along to whatever song’s on the radio. Severin and Pius are still busy discussing the mystery of Pius’ non-existent inrun speed in the backseat. Stephan rests his head against the window and sighs, eyes closed.

Karl looks at him briefly. “You okay, Stephan?” he asks, turning his attention back to the road, even though the streets are pretty deserted. Karl has always been the most careful driver out of all of them, and with the snow and ice on the road he’s driving extra slowly. Stephan doesn’t mind.

“I’m good,” he answers and opens his eyes to look at the snow-covered fields around them, the trees beyond also decked with white. Their hotel is a good thirty-minute drive from the hill, but the scenery has something magical about it, like something out of a fairy tale. “It’s just a headache,” he repeats what he told Andi earlier. Karl raises an eyebrow.

“I’ve got some aspirin, if you want,” Pius pipes up from behind Stephan, sneaking a hand through the gap between headrest and window to squeeze Stephan’s shoulder. “I think I’ll manage for now,” Stephan declines and reaches up to pat Pius’ hand. “Thank you, though. Maybe I’ll come back to you later.”

He doesn’t add that a quiet afternoon with Andi and his book is probably going to be more helpful than all the aspirin in the world. He’s been particularly stressed before today’s competition, although he can’t quite put his finger on why that is. He woke up in the morning with an uncomfortable pressure behind his eyes, despite getting a full eight hours of sleep. His jumps were good, or so he’s been told, but the usual feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment just wouldn’t set in. Instead, the headache has been getting worse and Stephan just really, really wants his bed, his book, and Andi’s arms.

He’s not going to get what he wants.

X

“-and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell, you don’t know, oh-oh! You don’t know you’re beautiful, oh-oh!”

“That’s what makes you beautiful!” Constantin finishes, air-drumming the final beats of the song. Markus shakes his head in the backseat. “I can’t believe I let you play One Direction in this car,” he sighs. Constantin turns in his seat to beam at the older. “That’s because you love me.”

“Unfortunately.”

Andi snorts. “I don’t care how much you two love each other; we do not tell Stephan that we sang One Direction in the car.”

“Oh, I will tell Stephan you guys sang One Direction in the car. I was just a victim. Dammit, I should’ve recorded this,” Markus says, putting his face in his hands. “As evidence.”

“With what?” Consti laughs. “You never take your phone anywhere! Remember when you got into an argument with- who was it? One of the Austrians? You got in the car with them and drove to their hotel because you were so busy with talking!”

Markus opens his mouth, then shuts it. “That,” he explains carefully, “was one time. I’ll have you know it was a very intense battle of me and Krafti against Michi Hayböck, the freaking Barca fan. Imagine thinking ter Stegen is a better keeper than Neuer. Utterly delusional.”

Andi looks at him in the rearview mirror. “No one was able to reach you for three hours,” he deadpans. “Karl was literally about to call the police because you didn’t answer your damn phone. We thought you were kidnapped or something.”

“They’d bring him back voluntarily,” Constantin mumbles while he scrolls through his playlist. “Fifteen minutes, max.”

Andi laughs as Markus leans forward between the two front seats and smacks the youngest with his beanie. “Listen, you little shit,” he starts, “it would be a delight to kidnap me. You would be the one they’d want to get rid of because of your questionable taste in mus- Andi watch out!”

It’s too late.

Wrong lane, Andi thinks, staring right into the headlights of an approaching truck. That vehicle is not supposed to be there.

Yanking the steering wheel to the right is a reflex, not a conscious decision.

The snow is pretty, Andi thinks as they go flying off the road. The trees are covered with it. Kind of like a fairy tale.

The sound of their car crashing against a tree is the last thing he hears for a while.

X

Someone’s knocking on the door to their hotel room. Stephan’s halfway through undressing in order to take a shower, so he quickly grabs a shirt off the bed and pulls it over his head. Probably Andi, he thinks. Forgot his keys again. Wouldn’t be the first time.

When they’d arrived at the hotel earlier, they’d wondered how the hell they’d made it there before the others. Karl had taken it as an opportunity to defend his driving skills. Severin had figured the others got so distracted by the carpool karaoke that Andi took a wrong turn somewhere. Wouldn’t be the first time, either.

When Stephan opens the door, however, he’s met with a mildly distressed looking Karl. Stephan raises an eyebrow. “Are you-“

“Have you heard from the others?” Karl interrupts him, grip tight around his phone.

“Uh, no? Should I have?”

Karl bites his lower lip. “I’m getting worried,” he admits. “We’ve been here for a good forty minutes already, and you’re telling me Welle took that many wrong turns?”

That is, admittedly, somewhat unusual. Neither Andi, nor Consti or Markus have the best sense of direction, but so far Andi has always texted or called or somehow let anyone know he got lost. Markus is another story entirely but knowing him, his phone is probably placed uselessly on his nightstand. Stephan’s headache intensifies.

“They’ll be fine!” Severin yells from down the hall.

Karl frowns in the general direction of Severin’s voice, then turns back to Stephan. “I just have a feeling. Eisei’s phone is in our room. Will you please call Andi? He always answers when you call.”

That’s true. Andi does always answer when it’s Stephan who’s calling. Stephan is convinced it’s because Andi knows he’d never call him without a good reason. The others think a bit differently, but they don’t tell him that.

Stephan leaves Karl standing in the hallway and goes to retrieve his phone from his bed. “Have you tried calling Andi or Consti?” he calls back to Karl, who nods. Severin appears next to Karl, Pius right behind him. Stephan pulls up Andi’s contact and presses call. There’s a weird feeling in his chest, something he can’t quite place. Even his headache dulls in comparison.

It’s fine, he tells himself. Karl is being paranoid. There’s no reason to assume anything bad has happened. They’re just a little later than usual. So what? Knowing those three, they probably stopped somewhere to have a snowball fight.

The pressure on his chest grows stronger with every dial tone. Pius is holding his phone to his ear as well. “Consti,” he mouths, then shakes his head when no one answers the call.

“This is the voicemail of Andi Wellinger. Please leave a me-“

Stephan hangs up.

#ski jumping #ski jumping fanfic #sj fanfic #andreas wellinger #stephan leyhe #lellinger #lellinger fanfic #ngl i'm scared everyone's gonna hate this and no one needs the second part #but okay here we go i guess?? #once again this is just a piece of fiction #they're all their own persons #tw car crash

[thefanficmonster]

A Little Childish

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF

Summary: Corpse and Y/N go to visit Y/N’s parents for New Year’s. Corpse was promised good food, good company and A LOT of snow. Needless to say, the place didn’t disappoint - quite the contrary actually, it exceeded any and all expectations he had.

Requested by @waterflowersposts Hi there! Sorry for how long it took for this fic to be written :( I hope the final result makes up for the long wait! I also thought it would be appropriate to post it during the holiday season, so I hope you don’t mind. Hope you enjoy the read and I’m looking forward to hearing your feedback and any more requests you may have. Stay safe! Happy Holidays! Love, Vy ❤

I watch as Corpse is basically floating from one room into another in our shared apartment as he’s throwing random articles of clothing in his open suitcase. I have already packed my bags, knowing full well what the appropriate attire is for where we’re going.

I look away from my laptop when Corpse comes in for maybe the sixtieth time today, this time carrying a white tee causing me to chuckle. “Corpse, I know it’s very trademark for you, but the only way you’ll be wearing that when we get there is under a sweater for some extra warmth. I’m not looking forward to having my boyfriend freeze in my parent’s house.”

He smiles, looking at the shirt in his hands, and shakes his head, “Fine, guess I’ll do without it for a week or two.” He throws it in our room, not even bothering to check where it’ll land before he comes to sit down next to me on the couch, “Keep in mind, you have set my expectations pretty high up there. If I am not waist deep in snow the second we step off the plane, I’ll be disappointed.”

I give him a side glance, a smirk playing on my lips. Must say, taking on challenges you know you’re gonna win is the ultimate high-and-mighty feeling. “Honey, you’ve got a big snowstorm coming.”

                                                               *  *  *

All throughout our trip - I’m talking the drive to the airport AND the flight over - I have kept my eyes glued to Corpse, observing as his eyes sparkled more and more with each foot we got closer to our destination. He has told me the most snow he has seen was less than an inch and I immediately felt it was my duty to change that by introducing him to the magic of Canada - my home. My parents own a getaway cottage in the mountains of Calgary where we used to go every holiday season. My earliest memory is playing in the thigh-deep snow with my older sister and crying whenever our parents had to drag us back inside. 

The West Coast of the US was a rather odd surrounding for me, having grown up surrounded by snowy mountains, experiencing Christmas with no snow whatsoever was a true let down and underwhelming feeling. Since Corpse and I started dating about a month after Christmas time last year this will be our first time spending the holidays together and Corpse was more than enthusiastic to visit Canada when I mentioned how much I enjoyed my winters there. We couldn’t go for Christmas, but we’ll be there for New Year’s Eve and the first two weeks of 2021 and I am really excited. I have been dying to see my family that has actually expanded since the last time I visited - my sister has had yet another baby, making her and her husband parents of three very energetic toddlers. The six year old twins - Ashley and Alex - and the three year old Andrew. Or, as I like to call them: The 3 As.

I have warned Corpse about them like seven times despite the fact that he’s already familiar with their energy, convincing him that if that’s more than he can handle we’ve still got time to cancel the trip. He didn’t bat an eye though, each time telling me not to worry and focus my attention on reliving the moments I’ve missed so greatly instead of making sure he was having a good time.

“If you’re there...“ he said, “I’ll sure as hell be having a good time.“

One step out of the airport and he’s already mesmerized. His eyes are shiny reflecting the glow of the snow all around. It’s gonna be funny to see his reaction when he witnesses the real deal - the snow in the mountains. This compared to that is a pathetic excuse.

“I know it’s not waist-high, but that’s because they shovel it and melt it.“ He is looking around, not paying much mind to my words. The utter amazement and disbelief on his face just makes me want to wrap my arms around him and kiss him. He’s simply adorable! I see fragments of the child in him swimming up to the surface in the form of temptation - temptation every kid feels when they see snow: Dive in and lose track of time. “Wait till we get to the cottage.“

This manages to catch his attention, “You weren’t kidding.“

I laugh at my precious kiddy boyfriend. “Whoa there, Corpsie. If your mind is already blown, I’m worried about how you’ll react to the real deal.“ 

I have a feeling I know exactly how he’ll react cause I react similarly - I set the child in me free. After all, no parent can tell you to stop playing and go inside when you are a 23-year-old.

                                                             *  *  *

Walking up to the cottage from the cable-car station has to be the first time I’ve breathed with my lungs’ full capacity in the last five years. The sharp cold air screams ‘home’ to me like nothing else ever did. I am still surprised as to how my sister prefers summer. My family jokes I’m a winter wolf in disguise and I think they’re right. I do like to roll around in the snow much like a wolf. No judgement! Having a few extra years added to my age doesn’t change everything.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God.“ If I could take a shot every time Corpse has repeated this phrase I’d be dead due to liver failure. He is absolutely stunned. And I’m pretty sure he hasn’t blinked at all. Who am I to talk - I haven’t either. These mountains keep getting prettier and prettier, I swear. Taking my eyes off them would be a crime.

“Told you. I wish we made a bet, I could’ve made some easy money.“ I tease him, gently bumping my elbow against his as we walk up the trail.

“I’m glad I didn’t propose such a thing. That would’ve been fucking stupid of me.“ Judging by the tone of his voice, he is not really present in this conversation, so I decide not to let it go on any longer.

Not that I could’ve done differently, seeing as how barely three seconds latter I see three smiling faces coming at me at max speed.

Oh boy.

“Auntie Y/N!“ Ashley and Alex arrive first of course, wrapping their arms tightly around my waist. Little Andrew stumbles his way to me as quickly as a three year old possibly could.

Without wasting a second, I put my bags down and crouch so I can hug them properly. “Hi my babies! I haven’t seen you in so long.” Their hugging strength surprises me and warms my heart at the same time. The twins pull away, leaving room for the little duckling in a jacket two times his size and weight. “Hi Andrew! I nice to meet you! I’m auntie Y/N. Mommy and daddy have told you about me, haven’t they? If not I’ll kick their asses.”

“Y/N, I swear, I’ll tell Amy you’re teaching her kids swears at a very early age.“ Corpse says teasingly, stealing the attention from all four of us.

“She curses like a sailor, these kids probably know more swear words than I do.“ Ash and Alex run straight out of my grasp and to Corpse, proceeding to hug him around the waist as they did with me. They met Corpse when my sister and her husband Finn visited me back in the summer. They immediately fell in love with him. I specifically remember Alex telling me I have a ‘really cool boyfriend‘ and he only uses the word ‘cool‘ when he really likes something or someone. Corpse was honorably declared cool by Alex and that still warms my heart till this day.

“Hi guys, long time no see!“ He too crouches down to hug the little demons that immediately cling to him like koalas.

I scoop up the bundle of clothes with a face and stand up, balancing him on my hip. “Let’s attempt to get inside, shall we?” With my unoccupied arm I grab the handle of my suitcase.

Corpse nods and follows my lead, picking up the bags he also left in the snow. Ash and Alex bolt it back to the house while we struggle to follow, lowkey embarrassed by the pace we’re walking with.

Andrew struggles against me, reaching out towards Corpse. I look at them both apologetically. “You’ll meet Corpse when we get inside, darling. Chill out.”

“Y/N!“ My sister’s voice steals my attention. She emerges from the house, followed by the twins, a huge smile on her face. Her eyes land on Andrew who has calmed down is now resting his head on my shoulder sleepily, “Oh I’m so sorry about them, Y/N. I didn’t know they would charge at you the second you stepped foot on the property.“

Amy motions for me to give her her son but I hand her my suitcase instead. When she takes it I use my now freed arm to hug her as tightly as I possibly can with one arm and while balancing a baby on my chest. “It’s ok! I couldn’t have dreamed of a better welcoming.” I release, giving her a big smile.

She loses interest in me and goes to hug Corpse, taking a bag from him as well before giving him a hug. “Oh my God, Corpse, it feels like it’s been forever. I’m so glad to see you.”

“Happy to see you too, Amy.“ My sister has never liked a single guy I’ve dated. EVER. Corpse is the only one she warmed up to and that’s a huge deal to me. Corpse’s happiness when I told him that was something I’d pay to have filmed just so I can watch it every time I’m feeling down.

“Let’s get you both inside, you must be freez-“ She cuts herself off, rolling her eyes at me, “Of course, you’re not.“

I laugh and blow her a kiss as we keep carrying onward.

“Um, guys?“ Corpse’s voice makes me pause and turn around. He’s still standing in the same spot, looking- unsettled, I guess you could call it.

“What’s wrong?“ I walk over to him, taking his hand in mine.

His hand automatically gives mine a reassuring squeeze, “Nothing really, it’s just that...I’m meeting your parents for the first time and-...What if they don’t like me?”

I open my mouth to go off and start stating the obvious that they indeed won’t like him. They will LOVE him. It’s impossible not to love this man! But my sister beats me to it when it comes to stating the facts.

“Look, Corpse, they already love you. Heck, sometimes I feel like they have known Finn and you longer than they have known Y/N and I! They speak so highly of you and haven’t even met you - that should tell you more than enough about how they see you.“ She waves her hand towards the cottage, “Now walk in there and blow them away.“

Honestly, I’m glad Amy beat me to it. I couldn’t have said it better myself. 

And just like that, hand in hand, Andrew still in my other arm, we walk in.

                                                             *  *  *

Corpse is officially the main attraction, stealing the spotlight from Amy, Finn and I - something the three of us are incredibly thankful for. Amy was right with every word she said - my parents are absolutely in love with Corpse. Luckily for Finn and Amy, the 3 As are all over him as well. Especially Andrew. The second someone sets him down he just waddles his way over to Corpse who picks him up and settles him in his lap while he answers my parents’ questions. 

When the kids were finally talked into taking a nap, Corpse and I snuck out to have a little walk in the snow and, of course, take some pictures. I made it my personal goal to make as many artsy and aesthetic photos of him as possible. His favorite - a hand only pic of him holding a snowball - was my idea and I think I have never felt prouder of myself.

“I am definitely posting this one.“ He says, turning the phone so I can see the screen. I give it a quick glance, thinking he’s talking about the hand pic but do a double take when I realize it’s a picture of me that he has taken without my knowledge.

I actually look rather decent, so I give him a green light in the form of a big thumbs up, “As long as you post the hand one too.”

“Hey, Y/N!“ We look back at the house which isn’t far from where we are right now. Amy is hugging the jacket tightly around herself as she approaches us with fast steps. “You know where we haven’t been in like forever?“

I raise an eyebrow and shake my head as I rack through my brain trying to dig up what she’s referring to. It could literally be any place on this mountain!

“Hello! The Waterless Lake? Ring any bells?“

Oh...it sure does.

Brief explanation: it is a huge circular dip in the ground which fills with water when the snow melts and becomes a lake but empties by the time winter comes back around. That being said, when the snow is still not melted, it’s an absolute wonderland to play in. I suddenly remember all the barrel-rolling Amy and I did there as kids and feel really nostalgic.

“Oh God, yes! I miss that place!“ I say, snapping out of my reminiscing trance. “Let’s go while it’s still light enough.”

“Finn is making dinner right now, or trying to at least.“ She rolls her eyes, turning to Corpse, “But it’d be our pleasure if you tagged along, Corpse.“

Corpse shakes his head, “I’ll politely decline. You ladies can reminisce and chat in peace, while I’ll be helping Finn in the kitchen.” He gives me a quick peck on the lips before excusing himself, “Have fun!”

“You too!“ We call back to him in unison.

Amy gives me an amazed, wide-eyed look, “He can cook?”

I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly, smirking, “Oh, you have no idea.”

She laughs, linking arms with me as we begin walking our way to the Waterless Lake. The place probably has a different name or no name at all, but we named it that as kids and never told our parents where it was. It’s our spot, and it is very surprising Amy offered Corpse to accompany us there.

“Sis, you are very lucky. I hope you know that.“ She tightens the hold on my arm with hers, pulling us closer together.

“I tell myself that every time I look at him, Aims. I am fully aware.“ I say dreamily, recalling all the times I’ve spent with Corpse. Almost one full year and I could never imagine that year, nor the upcoming ones, without him.

                                                                *  *  *

Upon returning, we’re met with the most wholesome scene I have ever seen - Corpse and Finn are making snowmen with the 3 As. It seems like they’ve been at it for a while, considering there is an army of snowmen of different designs, shapes and sizes all at different spots throughout the perimeter of the clearing in front of the house.

“Oh dear Lord.“ Amy mumbles, “I had a feeling this would happen.“

The five snowman-builders don’t even acknowledge our presence when we approach them. Ashley and Alex are running around with Finn, looking for sticks to use as the snowmen’s limbs while Corpse is helping Andrew gather as much snow as possible for the body.

I don’t realize there’s a huge smile on my face up until the point I’m trying to say something. Nothing comes out, though. My words are being muffled by all the overwhelming emotions that have taken over - collapsing my senses. 

With a roll of her eyes, my sister opens the front door, taking a step into the house. The second the door opens, however, I get a whiff of the delicious smell coming from inside. Best guess, and probably the right one - this is Corpse’s doing. 

If I wasn’t already hungry, I sure as hell am now and I’m in no mood to be in that delicious food’s proximity without attacking it. 

“Come on, guys! Dinner time! Get your butts inside!“ I call out to them from the doorway.

Corpse turns to look at me with the sneakiest smirk I have ever seen. He narrows his eyes at me, “You have done the very thing you despise!”

It takes me approximately three seconds to connect the dots and scrunch up my face, picking up all the snow I can an forming it in a snow ball, throwing it at Corpse. Growing up doing this exact thing has given me great aim, therefore I hit Corpse square in the chest.

“Oh you’re so in for it now.“ He laughs, picking up snow to form his own snowball.

“Snowball fight!“ Ashley yells, ditching the sticks to make a snowball for herself.

“Oh no...“ I poke my head in the hallway just as a snowball hits my upper arm, “Aims, I need your help!“ 

Before Amy can respond, I run to take cover behind the nearest snowman that, luckily for me happens to be one of the larger ones. I hear Amy call out my name when she exits the house, followed by a surprised yelp from her when three snowballs hit her. “You are all dead!”

While she is fighting blood and fire (well, water really), I am making ammunition for us both to use. I’m on my eleventh snowball when snow showers me from above as though it has fallen from a tree branch.

“Hiding, I see.“ I am still in shock, hair and upper body covered in snow, when I hear Corpse’s taunting voice.

My vengeance instinct kicks in having me grab two snowballs and turn to throw them at him. To my dismay, he’s faster then me and doesn’t allow me to even get my arm at an angle where I could throw properly. Instead, he turns me back around and picks me up with ease, one arm wrapped around my waist, another grabbing two of my prepared snowballs from the ground.

“Let’s show them who the bosses are.“ I see him wink at me from the corner of my eye and it takes me little to no time to catch onto what he’s insinuating.

In short, with joined forces, we took out the opposite team in no time - like a true couple 😉

#corpse husband #corpse #husband #corpsehusband #corpse simp #corpse x y/n #corpse x reader #corpse x you #corpse husband fanficiton #corpse fanfiction #corpse fanfic #corpse fic #corpse fluff #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband x reader #corpse hands #corpse imagine #corpse imagines #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband fluff #fluff #christmas #new year #holiday #holiday fluff #holiday fic #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[macgyvermedical]

For the Last Time- Nerve Agents are NOT the Only Chemical Weapons: a “Golden Lancehead, Etc...” Science Review

So this one is probably going to be shorter than other ones I’ve done for this show, but having conveniently just refreshed my hospital decon team certification, taken a cumulative exam in EHS, and watched this episode (I’m a tad behind), I needed to do some talking on it.

Awl - X-Ray + Penny - Duct Tape + Jack - CD + Hoagie Foil - Guts + Fuel + Hope - Wilderness + Training + Survival - Father + Bride + Betrayal - Lidar + Rogues + Duty - Nightmares - Seeds + Permafrost + Feather - Friends + Enemies + Border - Mason + Cable + Choices - Bitter Harvest - Kid + Plane + Cable + Truck - Tesla + Bell + Edison + Mac -

To recap, after Oversight’s death from cancer (season 5 has an absolutely wild timeline so far), Mac seeks out the help of former classmate Frankie to help him develop a new treatment modality based on the venom of a very rare, critically endangered lancehead viper. The venom is extremely dangerous, and can also, it turns out, be chemically altered to become a very potent nerve agent. Frankie unknowingly provides the information to create the nerve agent to the episode’s bad guy, and the race is on to stop the agent from being released into an airport and poisoning a bunch of people.

Intro to the Golden Lancehead

Since the episode centers around the Golden Lancehead Viper, we should probably start by talking about what they are:

Bozer described the Golden Lancehead as “One of the rarest and deadliest snakes in the world. Found only on one island off the coast of Sao Paulo, the Brazilian Government has made it illegal to transport or own.” Then, quoting a nature documentary: “The golden lancehead’s venom targets the nervous system of it’s prey with pinpoint accuracy- causing blood blisters, intestinal bleeding, tissue necrosis, hemmorrhage...” 

Golden Lanceheads are a real type of snake that really do only live on a tiny island off the coast of Sao Paulo, Brazil. They are 28-inch-long, cream and yellow snakes with a lance-shaped head and a diamond-like pattern of scales.

The island, called Queimada Grande, is uninhabited and travel there is forbidden, an order enforced by the Brazilian Navy. This is both to protect the viper, which is listed as critically endangered, and to protect the humans- given the remoteness of the island and the danger posed by the wildlife, it would be very dangerous for rescuers to come find you if you became injured or were bitten by any of the multiple venomous creatures that live there.

In the episode, Mac and Frankie travel to a pet shop in Sao Paulo to collect a sample of the venom from an illegally acquired snake. In real life, there is a lucrative black market for the species, which can fetch up to $30,000 per snake, meaning Mac paying $20,000 for a sample of venom would not have been necessarily unheard-of.

The pet shop owner tells them that the person who ventured to the island died from a bite, describing it as (paraphrased) “his face swelled, blood poured from everywhere, and even though they cut off his arm to try to save him at the hospital, he died anyway.”

Due in all likelihood to the fact that the island is uninhabited and forbidden, there has never actually been an official documented bite in a human from this species (though unofficial reports suggest it can indeed be deadly). Chemical analysis of the venom indicates it is likely the most potent and fastest-acting venom of it’s genus, though it is likely a lot more effective at killing birds and large insects than mammals given its primary choice of prey.

Bites from other vipers in its genus run a mortality rate of between 3% (with medical care) and 7% (without medical care). Most of their venoms are made of many different sugar-like molecules called glycans which disrupt proteins in animal cells, often killing the cells. Lancehead venom is similarly cytotoxic, causing the death of cells in tissue and blood and disruption of normal blood clotting, causing severe bleeding. Symptoms include pain and extreme swelling of the area around the bite, followed by tissue death and symptoms of nausea, dizziness, headache, and sweating. Shortly after that, there is a disruption in blood clotting, causing severe bleeding throughout the body. This severe bleeding, along with kidney failure and bleeding into the brain, is typically what causes death in those 3-7% of cases. Occasionally amputation is attempted as part of treatment, but it is usually due to the extreme amount of tissue death that occurs surrounding the bite, not necessarily to stop the spread of the venom as alleged in the episode.

So basically, Bozer and his nature documentary are largely correct in where the Golden Lancehead lives, its legal restrictions, and the symptoms resulting from envenomation by lancehead vipers. The only thing that is not accurate is the neurotoxicity part- lancehead venom is hemotoxic (blood toxic) and cytotoxic (toxic to cells and tissues), but there is no indication that it causes any kind of neurotoxicity (brain toxic).

Cancer Treatment from Snake Venoms

In the episode, Mac describes the research he and Frankie are undertaking as “The therapy uses toxins extracted from snake venom, which billions of years of evolution have taught it to attack the weakest cells in a creature’s body to target cancerous tumors.”

One of the great things about snake venoms (and honestly animal venoms) is that they are not single toxins. A single snake’s venom has nearly a hundred different bioactive proteins, enzymes, glycans, and other chemicals. One of the great things is because so many of these toxins are bioactive in some way, venoms give pharmacologists a pallette of various bioactive substances already in existence that they can test and use to create drugs.

Several chemicals we use as drugs were originally discovered in snake venom. For example, enalapril (a blood pressure lowering medicine), eptifibatide (a blood thinner), hemocoagulase (a clotting agent), and ximelagatran (a blood thinner), were all discovered originally as components in snake venom. Some studies into king cobra and saw scaled viper venom has shown possible anti-cancer properties (in the form of drugs that prevent tumors from growing, prevent blood vessels from growing in cancer cells, and prevent cancer cells from spreading throughout the body), though none of these have been developed into therapeutic drugs.

Since there are literally hundreds of bioactive chemicals, enzymes, and proteins in snake venom, it’s definitely not impossible that someone could choose to do this research, and definitely not impossible that someone would be able to find something useful in treating cancer or any other disease. In fact, since the venom is so cytotoxic, there is a possibility that there is a compound in it that has a preference for certain cancer cells. The problems with what Mac says are mainly:

1. that as far as we know, nothing in venom would selectively choose cancer cells based on their “weakness”- generally drugs that do target cancer cells target the fact that they have mutated in a certain way that lets certain chemicals find them or that they are fast-dividing cells (similar to hair or skin cells) and fast-disrupted cells get killed first if a chemical disrupts cell division.

2. Snakes have only been around for 143million years, and venomous creatures have only been around for 170million years. Even one billion years is a LOT longer than that. Mac could have said hundreds of millions and it would still have been technically correct at least grammatically.

Chemical Weapons from Snake Venom:

So what about chemical weapons?

I mean, sure, if you consider that there are hundreds of chemicals in any snake venom, at least one of them is probably going to meet at least some of the criteria for a good chemical weapon. Whether or not that chemical weapon would count as a “Nerve Agent” is kind of up to the substance itself.

Chemical weapons are weapons that fall into one of the following categories:

Nerve Agents- these are things like VX, Sarin, Tabun, and other agents that attack the system that breaks down the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. Without that system, too much acetylcholine builds up, causing constricted pupils, twitching, excessive saliva and mucous, eye pain, diarrhea, difficulty breathing, seizures, and death if not treated promptly.

Blood Agents- these are things like phosgene, arsine, and cyanide that disrupt the blood’s ability to transport oxygen through the body. These cause symptoms like difficulty breathing, dizziness, headache, increased heart rate and respiratory rate, nausea and vomiting, and eventually seizures and death.

Blister Agents- These are things like lewisite and mustard gas that cause severe irritation to skin, eyes, mucous membranes, and lungs. These cause symptoms of pain, redness and large blisters on skin, difficulty breathing and swelling/blisters in the lungs and airway, loss of vision, fever, and nausea/vomiting. Death either occurs due to swelling and blisters in the airway or infection.

Choking Agents- These are things like phosgene and chlorine that irritate eyes and airways. They cause symptoms of watering eyes, coughing, chest tightness, and nausea/vomiting. They eventually cause severe pulmonary edema which can cause death.

Incapacitating Agents- These are agents like LSD, BZ, and fentanyl which are not necessarily designed to kill their targets, but leave them unable to respond to an attack either by making them less conscious (BZ, fentanyl) or by causing severe hallucinations and delusions that prevent them from being able to carry out their normal duties (BZ, LSD).

While there are many neurotoxic snake venoms that are known to have chemicals that interact with acetylcholine (causing paralysis, respiratory failure, and seizures), as far as I was able to find, the lancehead viper genus is not one of them. In fact, despite what Bozer said, there’s not a lot of neurotoxicity at all in the Golden Lancehead Viper’s venom- it’s primarily hemotoxic and cytotoxic.

So, basically, while it might be possible to make a nerve agent out of certain types of venom (though why would you, exactly? We’ve got tons of nerve agents, we know a lot about them, and they’re not exactly hard to create in a lab.) it would be more likely that you’d be in the market to find a new blood agent, blister agent, or even a choking or incapacitating agent if you were using Golden Lancehead Viper venom to discover it.

Just seems like a lot of work when you could get potentially a lot more useful venom legally and less dangerously.

But the more I think about it, I think the writers chose the snake due to it’s difficulty to acquire and it’s mystery, the chemical agent due to it’s well-known-ness, and fudged things so they worked together in the story.

But Now, the Real Question:

Could snake venoms eat through metal using acid, and would ionizing radiation change that? 

“Here’s another fun fact- when a Golden Lancehead attacks, it’s venom reacts with the iron in the red blood cells of it’s prey, creating an acidic byproduct strong enough to eat flesh and corrode metal.” -Mac

Certain snake venoms actually do become more acidic or more alkaline in their victim’s bodies, and in the presence of certain metal ions. However, as far as I was able to tell, the most acidic a venom would normally become was about a pH of 4 (somewhere between soda and coffee) and the most alkaline was about 9 (somewhere around baking soda). So not really capable of “eating flesh” (though enzymatic activity could digest proteins in the victims’ tissues) and it would take a lot longer than the episode showed to cause the corrosion necessary to dissolve a lock.

That’s not to say that a specially designed and purified chemical weapon created from a compound in snake venom would be different than the og snake venom, but the likelihood that ionizing radiation would change it so drastically would be a real bummer for a terrorist, since uncontrolled releases of your weapons are definitely not ideal.

Conclusion:

Overall, there was definitely some real passable science in here, but some of the dialogue choices were so poor that it made it difficult to respect. But generally decent science, even if the “cooler” stuff wouldn’t necessarily have worked.

#MacGyver #MacGyver Reboot #whump reference #writing reference #chemical weapons #snakes #venom

[incarnateirony]

It's possible Flash's premiere #s don't look as hot as usual because of the blow-up after the firing of H@rtley Sawyer, the guy who played R@lph Dibny, after past racist/misogynistic tweets of his resurfaced around the time the Floyd protests were bursting across the country. It sparked debate about whether he should be fired for older opinions when he's supposedly changed (not noting that flash is also a work-place and not just a tv show), but ppl were saying they'd no longer watch bc of it

Tiny violin for the CW (it could also be the shuffled timeslot, we’ll see)

Is AA really the only non-cancelled/final season show they have running above like 0.15 that doesn’t have some sort of major bullshit around it? It would explain why it’s up 20% on the year to year average while everything else is 40-60% down. (Or in Walker’s case, down almost 30% within the same year as its forebearer within the same 12 months period in the same time/slot).

CW only partially depends on live--I’ve said this. But if its live space completely devalues, their ability to sell ads that make up for their costs of running broadcast deplete, their ability to be sales worthy to cable networks is shaky, etc. Like when--was it Spectrum? Turned off the CW as well as several other channels on a related package for how much they wanted to air it.

It’s one thing for your normal shows to be running 1/3 everyone else with your tops running 1/2 everyone else or in SPN’s case at the time a few years back before it had a minor crunch (and I do mean minor, bronlies would never understand how little the descent meant what they would claim it did) almost 2/3 everyone else (around S11-13--and SPN was like 2nd-3rd on the network then). It’s another if your shows are by and large running 1/6th the average and your tops are running 1/3 the average.

Selling that adspace is gonna be a bitch. Especially if the products are all surrounded by controversy.

There’s the fact that the parent companies bankroll it expecting digital profit, but if they’re skewing way too old, they’re not even going to stream well to make up for it (Nancy Drew, Walker at the top of that list, the latter way more.) The others will handle okay digitally, but the question is at what point is it just not enough?

What’s summer going to look like, especially when the US is mostly vaccinated? What’s fall going to look like once decline kicks in?

Again, CW’s products are down 40-60%. The industry average from 1 year prior is 13%... across 5 networks, of which CW is one. If you remove CW’s crunch, it’s actually more like... 6% on other stations. Which is what I mean with this year’s YTY not being the same as other years with more people watching classic TV live on classic stations seeking entertainment during covid. CW used to be the one holding above the line, not diving below it.

There’s a good question-- will it only drop another 13-15% between now and fall, or will the universe catch up once everyone can resume normal and it drop more like 20%? And if CW is running 6-40 now, well... let’s say 3 x 6 20, 40 x 6 = 240? UH. Well we can’t go negative ratings but. Let’s take 0.1 down as the -40. Well it can’t go 0.6 down. 

It will be fascinating to see how it translates. CW might already be so bottomed it doesn’t matter. a show running 0.2 losing another 40% for example will be running 0.12

All I can say is CW better hope, truly, this is “just” boycott impact and that it can’t spread any further. A show running 0.2 right now losing 15% by fall season will at least “just” premiere at 0.17. And that’s where most of their “big” shows are gonna settle this season -- 0.2. Multiple properties are running under 0.1. Many will inarguably be under it by fall 2021.

In a literal best case scenario, unless CW’s ratings somehow get a miraculous bounceback, it’s Fall 2021 average season ratings are likely to look like:

S&L: TBD, but maybe 0.18, if we’re being nice, it it could land at Walker level. Flash: 0.17 (if it even comes back, rumor it isn’t) AA, if it holds: 0.15 Walker: 0.12 Riverdale: 0.1 Batwoman: 0.1 Charmed: 0.07 Nancy Drew: 0.07

While the industry average is probably gonna be around 0.56~

Ouch?

You can go “live doesn’t matter much” only so long.  Then keep in mind they have to figure out what to do by fall 2022 when those numbers go down to like 

S&L: 0.15 Flash: 0.15 AA, if it holds: 0.13 Walker: 0.097 Riverdale: 0.078 Batwoman: 0.078 Charmed: 0.059 Nancy Drew: 0.059

*if all shows maintain retention.* While the universe will be like 0.47 around it.

Charmed and Nancy Drew would be rounding down to 0.0 by 2023. Batwoman and Riverdale would be fighting not to. Walker will be running a strong 0.08 if it's lucky. Flash won't be around by then. AA may... maybe. It's shiny new premieres might debut at a strong 0.15 before falling in 30% like its recent premieres to uh *checks notes* 0.1, woo. With a TV universe operating around maybe 0.38.

 If they tried to air another year.If they pushed through Fall 2023, by Fall 2024, s everal of these products will be rounding down to 0.0 that didn’t. Think: Riverdale, Batwoman, Charmed, Nancy Drew, all 0s. Walker, if it stays “strong”, around 0.06. Everything else not breaking 0.1, even with a TV universe functioning at 0.29. Like, that’s its best situation kind of thing, too. That’s assuming there’s no more 40-60% drop for the CW specifically. Which is the point on continuing to make noise NOW. Because the 2022 or 2023 numbers could even hit by Fall 2021 if the press stays on.

At some point, CW classic broadcast is going to be forced to fold them, several years before the rest of TV channels are going to have to.

Then the question is what happens to CW products.

Remember what I said about kicking CW in the shins so you can hold the parent companies accountable directly? And that now was the time? Yeah.

I don’t think the CW is going to be around by fall 2023. The question is how much we can speed up its heat death, and force companies to make hard choices. Does HBO REALLY want to order CBS products that don’t even perform digitally just to feed money to CBS and not keep it themselves? Will the WB deal in management stand if they’re not married over a child company to host it on Max? How many years until Walker is grounded to CBS All Access? If they even choose to keep producing it?

How many years until we stop being fed bullshit marketing, and start making the parent companies actually manage their products and put it on main TV if they’re gonna be shitlords about the content with a woke rainbow flag on CW anyway?

Keep. Kicking them. In. The shins.

Do it. NOW.

This is also why it’s important to stop streaming all content that ever aired on the CW through paid platforms like Netflix and Amazon.

Those companies pay to host that product to gain subscribers. If the material isn’t performing, they stop paying the IP holders--be that WB or CBS--meaning it’s harder for the CW to peddle its products off that way.

Jazz. Fucking. Hands.

KEEP. KICKING THEM. IN. THE SHINS.

STOP. STREAMING. ANY. OF THEIR STUFF.

KEEP. BEING. LOUD.

Join #IStandWithNadria May 18 7pm est. 

Schedule your tweets NOW. There’s plenty of content to use in the tags already if you need material.

[pinkyshy101]

Hi tumblr, Maria here

I'm busy right now, but when I get the chance I want to watch a show. What show? That's why I'm writing this post that will probably get very few, if any, notes. So, my options are:

- rewatch a show

- watch a new show

(Tl;dr: I'm thinking of rewatching Gravity Falls, She-Ra, or possibly The Owl House, Kipo, Infinity Train, or maybe Steven Universe, leaning towards one of the first two. I'm also maybe thinking of starting a new show, which could be the Legend of Korra, Adventure Time, Clone High (I say half jokingly), the Tangled show whose name idk cause I think at one point it changed?, Glitch Techs, or maybe Carmilla. Any ideas? Lemme know!)

Lets start out with that first option, rewatching a show. Now with shows I want to rewatch, there's a few categories. There's 1) shows that I've watched for years and have seen numerous times, but I want to rewatch them because it's been a while and I like them and they make me :) and 2) I've only watched them once, probably binge watched it so maybe I don't remember all the details, but I liked it and I want to rewatch it just cause.

What are some of these shows I want to rewatch, you probably aren't asking? Well, there's

- Gravity Falls - I first started watching this show around Thanksgiving/late November 2014, and I've loved it since. I've tried to rewatch it every year since it ended around the date of the last episode airing (February 15, 2016), but last year for whatever reason I didn't. And now that somehow it's about 2 weeks since the 5 year anniversary of it ending somehow, I'm thinking I may want to rewatch it at some point

- She-Ra - this is fairly different from my experience with Gravity Falls - I had heard about it and wanted to watch it for a long while, but for whatever reason put off watching it until.. About a week or so after it ended, so probably May 20something? 2020 of course. I binge watched all 5 seasons in about 6 days, and I haven't fully rewatched it since (I've rewatched a handful of early s1 episodes with a group I'm in at school, but we don't get to do whatever things super often). Also, when I watched it the first time I was dming my friends who had already watched it the whole time, so I'm sure I didn't soak everything in. I've just really been wanting to rewatch it lately, and I don't have the time at the moment to really binge anything, but regardless, it's up there on things I want to rewatch.

There's possibly a few other things I might want to rewatch, like The Owl House, Kipo, possibly Steven Universe, maybe Infinity Train but I feel like its been recent enough since I watched them that they're still in my memory, and a few I watched more than once (Steven universe doesn't really fit in the same categories as those other 3 lol those all I started watching I suppose fall 2020 and SU I've been watching since 2015, its just... Wow I haven't rewatched it since future ended, and I binge watched the whole show up to that point, finishing within a few hours or less of the finale airing... Wow. I haven't watched it since then though, but that's also longer than the other shows I listed, so that's probably not as much a priority at the moment. Plus, I've rewatched it a ton.

Ok, now onto shows that for some reason or another, I still haven't watched. Maybe it's something that I've been meaning to watch for years and years, maybe it's something that would have made sense to watch when I was younger, but I didn't grow up with cable so I never had the chance to watch it, maybe it's a newer show that's been on my radar but I still haven't gotten around to watching it. Regardless, here's my list,

- The Legend of Korra - this and ATLA were on my list to watch for SO LONG, and finally, through a few irl friends convincing, I watched ATLA last october/november. I haven't really binge watched anything since then, except Hilda when season 2 came to netflix, so Korra is definitely pretty high on my list of things I want to watch; I know waaay less about it going in than I did about ATLA, but I'm still excited to watch it eventually!

- Adventure Time - I know I know, how have I not seen this show? Well, there's where the "I didn't have cable growing up" category comes in. I know it's pretty long, cause it aired for what almost 10 years? And I know theres that newer thing on hbo max too; idk exactly how long adventure time is, I just know it's probably gonna take me a very long time to watch. At one point a few years ago I tried to start watching it on hulu, but I got maybe a dozen or so episodes in before whatever reason I stopped. I do still wanna watch it though! I think the episodes are like steven universe where they're only 11 minutes long? I could be wrong. Who knows. But since they were both on cartoon network... I'm willing to bet that probably the majority of the episodes are around 11 minutes. Can't say for sure though. Either way it'll take a long time to watch... Which I think I already said but it's late 😂

- Clone High, I say, mostly as a joke - some of my more chaotic memey friends have wanted me to watch this, especially when memes from it were going around, so I suppose it's on my list, as far as I know it's short but eh. Not insanely high up on my priorities at the moment, but it's there

- and now, a few others that I don't feel like writing in depth because it's 4am and I've been typing this way too long and just want to hit post 😂

- Glitch Techs (watched the first episode, liked it, got busy and so far haven't continued)

- Carmilla - not a cartoon, but same people from group I watched some she-ra with (it's a wlw/nblw group at my college, thus the gay lol) have been wanting me to watch - I've seen some of it with that group similar to how we watched she-ra, but it's easier for me to watch new things on my own at my own speed, so I'd have to rewatch it

- whatever the Tangled series is called - I've seen a handful of the first episodes, but I keep getting too busy to continue it

- oh yeah, one other one that I'm eh about watching idk, some volleyball anime two of my friends are trying to get everyone else in the friend group to watch? Haikyu or something like that is what it's called, idk. I've only seen one anime, ouran high school host club, and recently while doing some art assignments for school I had it on half watching it for the first time in years. I didn't make it all the way through, but eh. I'll finish it eventually, I've seen it all the way through at least 2 or 3 times since I first watched it in like 7th grade lol)

I'm sure there's more, but like I said, it's 4:05 am as I'm typing this, so I'm very no thoughts head empty right now. Any suggestions on what to watch/rewatch when I have time? Lemme know!

Watch I bet this is gonna get no notes/interaction at all, then I'll just look silly

#long post #me #uh #idk how to tag this lol #also its ok to reblog cause i know some people are weird about that but idc #not that i expect anyone to want to reblog but still lol

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Julie and the Phantoms Theory

Wow so I just binged watched julie and the phantoms on netflix and this show is amazing, like really really fantastic. It is aimed at a younger audience than most of the series I watch but it really doesn’t matter, I do think this is a show that any age group can enjoy. The music in it is so so good and I’ve been listening to the songs on replay non stop. Also have two new ships I am obsessed with Juke and Willex. If you haven’t seen the show it is defo one I would recommend. However despite watching the whole season I have soo many questions that need answering and well anyone who has read any of my posts ever know how much I love to over analyse and obsess/ theorise about tv shows. The rest I am going to put under the tag because of spoilers so if you want to hear some thoeries/ analysis then read on, but I should warn you I am going to be talking about the sensitive topics of death and bereavement so only do so if you feel comfortable. 

 So one of the biggest questions I have is regarding the deaths of Alex, Luke and Reggie. Now I know that they die from eating bad street hotdogs and I know alot of the reason why they die that way is for the comedy aspect of it. I mean one of the many things this show did really well was balancing the comedy aspects with the emotional aspects. I appreciate that as the audience we are suppose to just accept this somewhat wacky death and go with it but well thats just not me and I kept wondering what exactly was wrong with the hotdogs that it actually killed them. Some things about it just don’t add up and I hate not knowing the answers so here are some theories I have, some more outlandish than others. 

Theory 1- Food Posioning (Honestly this isn’t really a theory but lets just go with it)

My first thought when I first watched it is the most obvious one which is they got food poisoning. I mean the place they got the hotdogs from didn’t look the most sanitary. However here’s the part that doesn’t add up for me and that is how quickly they died. We know from Alex’s comment to Willy in episode 8 that they were two hours away from going on stage the night they died. This means they had to have started showing symptoms within those two hours before the show which lead to the ambulance being called. In the first episode Reggie says that after they floated out of the ambulance they went to a dark room. The part that caught my attention here is the line about the ambulance as this tells us that they died in the ambulance before they ever got to the hospital. Now I don’t know how far away the hotdog place was from The Orpheum but I’m assuming it was fairly close considering how important the show was to them, I personally wouldn’t go too far from the venue if I had a big show in just a couple of hours.  According to my google search the nearest hospital to The Orpheum is Diginity Health California Hospital Medical Center. This hospital is only 5 mins away from The Orpheum, obviously I know this time would be effected by traffic amongst other factors but the point is the time between ingesting the hotdogs and them dying was relatively short. Which makes it unlikely that they died from food posioning. Whilst food poisoning can kill its very rare and usually takes a lot longer than a few hours I mean ordinarily it takes days. So the likelihood that all three of them would have been killed by food posioning that quickly is actually slim to none.

Theory 2- It was Premeditated.  

My next theory is much much darker and definitely more out there. It also depends on how dark they plan to go with Bobby/Trevor’s character. But we know that Bobby stays behind and doesn’t go for hotdog’s claiming to be a vegetarian (which was a lie), he also seems to be pretty eager for the other three to go. Now in the scene it seems like the reason for this is so he can be alone to filrt with Rose but what if Bobby had more sinister plans what if he had some hand in the boys’ deaths and had actually posioned them or arranged for them to be poisoned. Maybe he always planned to steal Luke’s songs and take all the credit, fame and money for himself. When Julie looks up Sunset Curve on her phone you can get a glimpse at the article she reads. In the article it says ‘There was a surviving band member, Bobby, but no one has been able to track him down...’ This article seems to have been written about a week after the night they died which shows that Bobby went under the radar pretty quickly after his bandmates died. Now again this could be explained away as Bobby grieving and wanting to stay out of the spotlight as he worked through that and that him stealing the songs was a more opportunistic act than him premeditating his bandmates murders. 

Another possible variant of this theory is that it was still an orchestrated death but it wasn’t Bobby who wanted the boys dead but Caleb. During that opening scene they were still alive and we know normally lifers can’t see ghosts so for all we know Caleb could have seen them perform and had decided then that he wanted them as his house band, he didn’t want to wait for them to die so he took matters into his own hands. We assume that the first time Caleb hears about the band is from Willie but there was that scene from the first episode where he bumps into Alex and to me it almost seems like he recognises the group. Also I don’t think its a coincidence that he bumps into them right outside The Orpheum. It could be that he knew they would show up as ghosts at some point and figured they would go back to The Orpheum when they did and so would sometimes patrol that area just waiting for them. It could also explain why he’s willing to let Willie skate around the streets of LA maybe he was hoping Willie would do exactly would he did and bump into one of the boys whether Willie was aware of this plan is a whole other kettle of fish I feel like most likely he wouldn’t have because I feel like he would have told them Caleb had sent him to find them when he told them about the jolts. Point is the whole thing could have been one big elaborate plan of Caleb’s to get the band for himself, his obsession with the band could have been bigger than what we were shown in the first season. 

The last variant of this theory could be a mixture of the previous two. Maybe it was an elaborate plan made by Caleb but with the help of Bobby. Maybe Bobby made a deal with the devil so to speak and in exchange for fortune and fame he gave up his bandmates. Maybe he even gave up his own soul too but he gets to live out his dream life first. We know through Willy that Caleb has made deals with lifers that are part of the Hollywood Ghost Club so it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to think he could’ve made a deal with Bobby. 

To be honest I’m not completely sold on this theory purely because the show is aimed at a younger audience and although it does cover some mature themes around death and bereavement I think murder might be a little too dark for its target audience. But then on the other hand they did have that storyline of Caleb trying to destroy the boys with those jolts so maybe I’m wrong.

Theory 3- The Car Battery. 

Ok so this theory I think is the most likely out of them all. When you think about what we know about the boys death and the timeline its that 1) They ate hot dogs that tasted bad. 2) They obviously started to show worrying symptoms that lead to somebody calling an ambulance, these symptoms showed up in under two hours. 3) They died in the ambulance before getting to the hospital (which was approx 5 mins away). Also from the sound of it they all died around the same time, as in all of them were in the ambulance it wasn’t a case of one of them died at the scene, another in the ambulance and another in the hospital. Meaning the effect time was pretty consistent, we know that they all took the first bite at the same time. So keeping all that in mind lets look at the scene again. The first thing I want to point out is that when the boys get the hot dogs they don’t show us them actually being handed the hotdogs, when we see them they already have the hotdogs and they are at the condiments adding their pickles and sauces. This in my opinion tells us that the hazard did not occur during the cooking process but at this moment when they were getting the condiments. Also we see Alex talking about how he couldn’t wait to eat someplace where the condiments weren’t in the back of a car. This scene opens by showing us said condiments and also whilst Alex is talking focusing in on the car battery. Right after his comment about the condiments Alex goes up to the seller and apologises for getting pickle juice on his battery cables once again this draws attention to the battery and its close proximity to the food. The seller just laughs it off stating that maybe it will help with the rust. This seems like a throw away comment but it could actually be a big clue into what happened to the boys. This tells us that not only is the battery near the food but its rusting and in a bad condition and if its in a poor condition it could be leaking. Ok so why is this important to how the boys died? Well because car batteries have sulfuric acid in them. I said before that the whole food poisoning thing didn’t add up for me because generally speaking when things go wrong during the cooking process such as something being undercooked or unclean, it doesn’t tend to kill you and in the rare circumstances if it does it usually takes days to weeks; but the chances of surviving food posioning are very high. However if someone were to ingest sulfuric acid even a couple of drops could be fatal. For examble if there was any sulfuric acid in the bottom of the trunk it could have gotton onto the utensils they used or onto the bottom of the sauce bottles which could then have tranferred over to the food. 

Also sulfuric acid usually kills a person within a few hours and can start having an effect on the body pretty much immediately. The mortality rate of sulfuric acid poisoning is very high the survival rate is only around 35% which would make it much more likely that not only did they all die but that the all died around the same time after exposure. The reason why it can kill so quickly is because it can effect the airways. Also the comment the seller made about the rust could have another possible explanation because whilst a leaking battery could have contaminated the food, sulfuric acid can also be found in some anti rust treatments. So if the seller was trying to treat the rust on the battery without removing the condiments from the trunk then that too could have created an opportunity for the food to become contaminated with sulfuric acid. 

So yeah this is my best guess at how the boys died, they accidently ingested sulfuric acid that had contaminated the condiments that had been stored next to a rusted car battery. It’s tragic and more tragic than that is that although it can only take a few drops obviously the less posion a person ingests the more chance they have at surviving. We know that even though the first bite tasted weird they continued to eat the hotdogs but if they had stopped after that first bite they might have actually survived. Obviously I’m not an expert on any of this so I could be totally wrong but to me this is what makes the most sense. 

Anyway what theories do you guys have? Also what questions are you hoping to get answered if we get a season 2 (we better get a season 2 or I’m gonna be real mad)? 

#julie and the phantoms #sunset curve #jatp speculation #jatp spoilers

[jmgiovine]

My Path with the Force

: A Star Wars-fan Chronicle.

                                                                                           by. J.M.Giovine.

A long time ago, back in the 90s, I was 5 and the remastered edition of the Original Trilogy was released on VHS format. Star Wars entered in my life. I remeber those good old days. Since I’m the child of a failed marriage, my father used to pick me up every single weekend to take me for a ride for some father-and-son time, just the two of us, sometimes with my dad’s family as well. Like I said, good old days. Before that, my whole world turned around Batman and Jurassic Park, as well as pretty much every single Disney-animated flick I got my hands into. One of those weekeds, my dad took me to a Toy Store, and my wonder solidified the moment I saw a giant box-set of MicroMachines figures that immediately draw my attention... and eventually became my first merchandise (purchased by my dad as a gift) of the soon-to-be-my favorite franchise, ever.

Fun thing was, I never saw any of the original films, nor played any of the LucasArts videogames released back then. I entered into this fandom as an innocent five-year-old poser, but obviously, my curiosity and wanderlust won’t stop there. Eventually, I’ll turn to acknowledge the franchise from a movie perspective, ironically, almost immediatelly after acquire my most precious set of ships (which I still possess, for the most part). That very same year, my grandmother came one afternoon with several copies of VHS tapes on her bag that she proudly showed to us; the rents of the week. Little I knew, that would be it, the moment I’ll be acquainted with the Original Trilogy for the first time. Fun thing was, my grandmother is a considerably devoted catholic, and an awfully religious person (she’s nuts), but if I ever have to feel grateful about something she did for me, was introducing me to two different worlds I love: Indiana Jones, and Star Wars. She knew the films (at a certain degree), and basically spoiled me Vader was Luke’s father the very moment I pop A New Hope’s into the VHS. But I didn’t care back then, because I was hooked. Somehow, I realized, this was it; “this is the universe I love”. 

I still think about it. What was it at first? I mean, I can answer that almost right away with a 6-hour-long explanation why I love this universe, but to be fair, I really wonder what was back in the day in my earliest childhood years, the very essential element that made me fell for it. The space ships? Maybe, that’s probably a reliable esthetic trait that’ll captivate any small child. Perhaps the whole Jedi mythos presented lightly between the three episodes, later explored with a larger detail in further entries and titles from both, the Expanded and New Canon. Which 5-year-old child wouldn’t want to be a Jedi Knight just as Obi Wan, or Luke by the time he showed up in Return of the Jedi (1983), weilding his brand-new green lightsaber in order to defeat Jabba’s band of criminals and guards. We’re getting closer. But I suspect there was more to it. Of course, being a grade-school kid my thoughts never went anywhere further than my visual and spectating admiration for the trilogy. That lasted 2 more years, 2 years of me asking like crazy the whole action figures and vehicles I was so desperate to possess and play with. Hardly I was gifted with some of the merchandise, aside my beloved MicroMachines set, and then, it came 1999...

I can just imagine, for the elder people, what this meant back at the release of The Phantom Menace (1999), although, it kindda happened the same way in 2015; people went nuts and fans all over the world realised it returned. Star Wars was back, but not in the shape of a horrible remasterization in a re-release of a classic film(s), but as a brand new episode. Something that’ll continue the story left behind more almost 20 years ago. Young version of characters we all loved from the first ones, as well as new introductions of characters that, from the distance, looked like they had certain potential. I mean, I just remember Darth Maul being literaly everywhere at stores, promos, banners. The guy everyone thought would be the new face of these new installments, just as Vader was years ago. The rest, well, what can I say? But this ain’t a review. To be completely honest... I liked it. Never watch it at the theater (until the 3D re-release back in 2012), but I immediately bought the VHS. My grandma and aunt actually went to the movies to see it, they hated it.

But obviously, I had my reservations in regards of the newest Star Wars flick, and my hopes to see an actual connection between this “new” vision, and the episodes I’ve learn to love these past couple years. So, you could say, I decided to give it a pass and accept what I was experiencing. Back then, having already 7 years, my judgement towards films wasn’t-let’s say- well defined.To me, if something belongs to what I already know, it was alright, but deep down, I knew something wasn’t right with this newest film, it didn’t feel the same. Was I set to become one of those folks that’ll limit themselves to what was already stablished rather than to accept new ideas and concepts inside a franchise set to expand? Well, thankfully, few years later I’ll understand it was all due to how poorly the film was crafted. Also... yeah, Jar Jar...

But not everything was that bittersweet. I fell in love with the franchise right before seeing Phantom... so by the time, all toy lines (Kenner, particularly) were everywhere from both, this newest episode and the original trilogy line, which endured several years afterwards, before the newest 2004 line. I acquire several other figures, and I was enjoying myself pretty much alright. I couldn’t wait for more, and only two episodes left, my childhood excitement grew exponentially by the realization that, soon, I’ll possess 6 VHS of my favorite saga ever (ha!). Like that, and continously buying as much merchandise as my parents were capable of, 2002 came along. The so-much-expected episode two came, and this was officially my first Star Wars film ever experienced on the big screen. Save your pity, please, I don’t need it.

I was aware, probably for the first time, of the quality decaying this franchise was suffering, probably the moment I saw Hayden Christensen portraying the long-expected-hero Anakin Skywalker. If I ever check a top 10 list of the worst casting choices ever made, this guy would probably be in the first 5 spots, easily. Even the toy-brand seemed... I don’t know, uninspired? Yeah, not much of a big change, but somehow I felt way attracted for the lines of episode 1 than this one. The starships never took my breath away (except for a fully renderized Slave I, the very first Original Trilogy starship brought back for these films), nor the aliens or the newest incursions of Jedi felt innovative or interesting enough. Probably the Clones, but I have to admit, my interest for this army came years later, when Genndy Tartakovsky’s The Clone Wars, as well as the Expanded Universe’s stories were release, in order to fill the gap left by Episode’s 2 need of ending at the very beginning of the long-awaited wars.

Another spark of honesty, I never watched the show on it’s innitial release, in 2003, since I never had cable, ergo, never saw Cartoon Network, even though I really wish I could’ve. My initiation with the short cartoon came a year later, and a year before the heavily anticipated release of Episode 3. The first time I did came around the show was at my highschool tutor’s house. Every day, after my school schedule, my mom sended me every afternoon to my tutor’s place, literaly, on the street behing mine’s. Why here? Easy, after finishing my whole homework (for the next day) we got some spare time before our moms (we were several other kids at the house), and that’s when, located at the livingroom basically identical to my place’s, my tutor’s son was watching some tv. He looked nerdy af, and what was he watching? No more and no less than the show’s second season, episode 19: Anakin VS Asajj Ventress.

After that, my next step was some of the best I’ve had in regards of the franchise: the Original Trilogy DVD release in 2004. Just as my dad did, back in 1997, in 2004 I spend my first Christmas with my dad’s family, and one of my presents (one of my all time favorites) was my very first DVD player, also, packed along the remasterization (one of many, Christ...) for the same format that launched also a brand new toy series better known as the Original Trilogy Collection from Hasbro. I was one step closer to fulfillment, and for the first time I had the Original Trilogy in my power. At the same time, my highschool’s best friend lend me the DVD of Tartakovsky’s series from 2003, recently launched in a compilation of the entire 20 episodes. That’s when I saw the whole show for the first time. Again, aside of my bitterweet experience with Episodes 1 & 2, I felt great passion towards Star Wars, once again. 

My first Star Wars game also came in 2004, the same year I first acquire my Game Cube console, that meant I was finally able to buy Rebel Strike: Rogue Squadron 3 and I was pretty much at candy land. I played Rogue Squadron 1, for the Nintendo 64, a while ago, and I was pretty much addicted to the epic arcade game, located at a Peter Piper Pizza near my house. On the videogame background, this was the only thing I needed so far, until I realize of the existance of other games such as Battlefront, Jedi Academy-Outcast, and countless other elder games I never had the chance to play. Probably my official first Star Wars game was the PC exclusive, Dark Forces 2, but I never managed to finish it (I still hadn’t have the chance to, since I’m no longer able to play it), but overall, Roque Squadron 3 was everything I needed, surely I wouldn’t mind experience other stuff, specially when first realizing about the existance of the memorable Knights of the Old Republic, a game I considered for superior gamers back then. 

2005 came, the first trailers for Revenge of the Sith were everywhere and dropped every 5 seconds. But that wasn’t just it. I was able to follow the weekly release of the Clone Wars Season 3, that was supposed to end the series right at the very beginning of Episode 3, which it did. My best friend and I saw the series finally together, at his place; pizza, soda and chips, the two of us excited for the finale and, oh boy, we were. With Revenge... it came my first official midnight release, something that’ll take a while to return to my life, mostly after highschool. My entire family and I went to the movie-theater, and it became one of my most beloved experiences in a movie, from my entire life. Back in the day, that movie gave me everything I wanted out of a franchise I followed. Every single plot-detail, every single arc, fanservice (which I didn’t know it was back then), and full circles leading to Episode 4 were there, in all their glory. And, the less I know, it hit me: this was my last Star Wars. Only two episodes at the movie theater, the rest experienced at home-video. Not that I regret anything, but its never easy to let go something so attached to our lives. If I only knew...

Not much to say about the next years. A new decade arrived. I was way past buying and collecting figures or vehicles, and in regards of the films, for some reason, I never acquired the prequels on DVD. Somehow I felt as if I was already complete with my Original Trilogy. I really wanted The Clone Wars series on DVD, but never managed to buy them, either for the lack of money, or I never found them at local stores (even nowadays its extremely difficult and expensive to get). In 2008, The Clone Wars came out... which was already extremely weird, considering some of the characters from the original animated series came back, like Asajj Ventress, and naturaly, since I ended my journey with the saga, I lost my entire interest for Star Wars material furthermore, I ignored it. Therefore, I never saw nor the movie or the newest 3D Animated show, created by Dave Filoni, a name I’ll learn to admire and respect almost a decade after. We’re talking a complete absence of interest for the franchise during a 4 year period until the impossible happened...

George Lucas, after a personal professional defeat, sold his epic and extremely profitable (still) franchise to Disney, now belonging executively speaking to Kathleen Kennedy, who immediately confirmed to the world what we all thought would never come: a brand new episodic installment in the franchise will eventually be made... continuing the events concluded on Episode 6 and completely throwing away everything that happened before the sale, that is, everything considered aside of the films, the former Expanded Universe, being the Clone Wars the only property still considered important and canon inside the newest Disney reign. Suddenly my love came back, just as it is when you’re in a marriage that is merely a dry relationship  between to irrelevant individuals and then, out of nowhere, you remember how lucky you are of having that person by your side. But it wasn’t just me, the whole world went bananas, and everyone needed 2015 to arrive, as of now.

And so it did. The Force Awakens came on December of 2015. It quickly became one of the highest grossing films of all time. One of the most succesfull releases ever, Hollywood-speaking. Fans were excited, hopeful and, let’s be honest, fearfull for the upcoming results. We were still harmed for the prequels and we needed Star Wars to be what we loved in the first place. To me, it was, I felt like experiencing Star Wars for the first time in a long while. I felt that excitement, the struggle, the emotion and power I felt when watching my old VHS, back in the 90s. This was the worthy succesor I was expecting. Star Wars was everywhere and, once again, I felt like a five year old. Of course, my curiosity and dissappointment appear once I saw people felt... conflicted by this new episode. Somehow people really didn’t feel like enjoying something so reminiscent of the old-school franchise we all grow up loving, instead, they criticized the fact that “we didn’t got anything new” and the film relay so much on nostalgia and similarities to the original episodes. Of course I never felt that way, at least, not in a negative way. 

But that didn’t matter! Hope was still foreseen and Disney also anounced their next installment as a prequel that’ll take place right before A New Hope (1977), and so, the first “A Star Wars Story” was meant to be released on December 2016. Rogue One was a blast, and unlike Force Awakens, it seemed this was what every single fan was expecting. Classic Star Wars, a brand new take on this world that’ll fill a gap left on episode 4 and, what we all agree was the best aspect of the film; a complete tone of war and battles worthy of any great moment in the franchise. People started to believe Disney was actually caring about the franchise future, and the horizon offered a bright looking for the next installments. We had Star Wars literally everywhere, and new films (both, episodic and spin offs) were already scheduled, also, bringin important names in the director’s chair for each one. Me, personally, I liked fine. I understood why people loved it, and I understood why this could easily foreshadow episode 7. Overall, I thought it was an excuse to showcase a pop-corn spectacle, but yeah, a pretty entertaining one, but non of the complexity and creativity from the originals were there, making it a little disposable for my taste. Regardless, I didn’t mind, and I felt as excited and hopeful as I was a year before it.

I guess I wasn’t entirely prepared for what came on 2017; the whole The Last Jedi controversy. Rian Johnson wasn’t that known, except for directing one of the favorite sci-fi flicks from 2012 and two of the best episodes of Breaking Bad. People either hated it, or just liked the film. Me? It’s hard to say but I enjoyed it pretty hard. The next episode got me hooked, invested and intrigued all the way through. At the midnight release, on December, I watched the film with my cousin and my best friend (who just finished watching the whole film-saga, and she became instantly a fan), and the three of us were dazzled all the way through. My realization came when I arrived home that night and found out, all my contacts on Facebook were ranting the hell out of it, specially the elder ones. I was confused and, downright, alone when it came to my joy towards Episode 8. The fandom lost their minds, and the hatred rised considerably againts the new direction given by Disney and Kennedy. Star Wars quickly stopped being what it was before; the saga we all had tons of fun discussing and talk about. Suddenly it became hard to talk about the saga, and the passion seemed to have been drained from it, something that I confirmed when Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) was released.

The second spin-off in the saga became the biggest box office flop for the franchise on that very same year and critics partially seemed to like it. For audiences it was as harmless and inconsequential, pretty much unlike the overall received of Rogue One. But, one thing was for sure; the franchise hype was starting to fade. From my own perspective, I started to lose interesting, but not for the same reason not-pleased fans were, but because I felt the polarization all over the place. Again, Star Wars wasn’t fun anymore. 

However, and after the anouncement of Abrams returning to the franchise in order to conclude it, somehow I felt the excitement once again. Slowly, and once 2019 arrived, I slowly started acquiring new Star Wars merchandise, from the LucasArts videogames I wasn’t able to play back in the day, like Republic Commando, Battlefront 2 and Jedi Starfighter. Also, I got my 5 Black Series figures, from 2016 to date, being Ahsoka Tano my first, then Thrawn, General Kenobi, Darth Maul and the Second Sister. The trailers for The Rise of Skywalker were dropped and my hype was real. Also, Disney + would release the very first live action tv series on the saga, with The Mandalorian. 

So, somehow, 2019 exploded in Star Wars, and I wasn’t the only one. On November, only a month-away for Episode 9, The Mandalorian made all of us fell in love with the franchise, making us feeling like we were discovering something that we needed and wanted at the same time. Also, people played Jedi Fallen Order, and everyone loved it, unfortunately for me, I haven’t got the chance to do it as well. Nevertheless, my amazement belonged completely to Jon Favreau’s The Mandalorian, with 8 episodes of aproximately 40 minutes each, and providing wonderful connection between Clone Wars and Rebels, this time, with the whole esthetic scenarios and props from the Original Trilogy, all this before watching the last Episode.

And so, the saga came to a supposed ending, at least, in regards of the Skywalker installments. That was it; no more title cards in the middle of the open space, no more drama between the Skywalker family, no more John Williams. Sigh. Well, for my eyes, I was partially pleased, but I had my issues. Call it an overall excess of expectations, call it non-blinded judgement, but there was something missing, something worthy of the franchise I have loved most of my life. It could’ve been better, for sure, and the commitment from the previous two was lacking. Abrams had the opportunity to go all the way with something memorable (something accomplished by Endgame, for example), but for what it was, it was just good enough. That’s it. My inner child never died, but wasn’t completely baffled or amazed. Serviceable, and that was it.

But that’s not the end, for me. I’m still acquiring the novels and comic books (which I started buying back in 2015), and my collection of figures and merchindise is still growing, slowly. Also, several tv-shows are scheduled to be release in the next years, so, Star Wars isn’t over. I’m still excited to see this franchise expanding, and my devotion hasn’t change a bit. I’m still a fan, despite the ups and downs. I guess when it comes to the Disney domain, I’m glad, considering Lucas didn’t wanted to direct or make any more sequels or spin-offs so, without the company’s purchase, Star Wars might still be a franchise entirely for the geeks, and being pretty much resting nowadays. I’m glad it is back, and I’m glad there’s more to explore, perhaps not as people wished, but there’s no denying, the saga may have concluded, but it is far from being over, or dead, and I’ll be there, experiencing it, consuming it, and being in love with it, pretty much, until I become one with the Force.

#starwars #fan #chronicle #starwarsfan

[larenoz]

Roswell New Mexico - Live Rewatch - Ep 1 - Pilot

So I don’t really have much in the way of original content on my blog. So I decided it might be fun to post the live blog I’ve been doing on discord of the rewatch our server is doing for Roswell, New Mexico over the hiatus period. 

I’ve only posted my comments, so there might be a couple of bits that look out of place. These are my responses to other people’s comments. I’m up to episode 6, so I will post the backlog and then do one a week until the re-watch is complete.

Be warned, there is swearing. 

--------------------------------

Sorry, cat decided it wanted a cuddle

I love the glass effect, it's so cool

You may not plan to see the small people again, Liz but we know it's gonna happen!!

Not gonna lie, I love poltics in my TV

You quote that verdict to him, Liz!!

That vent tells us so much about Liz in such a short period of time.

You're finally back says Max.Because he's been waiting for that to happen the whole time.

Excuse me Sheriff, with that good girl comment. Rude!

Arturo, playing along with Liz's mpreg story.

Fuck, I just realised - mpreg is canon!?!

Rosa!!

I want antenna headband

Cream on a milkshake is wrong.

So many people in this show have pretty eyes!!

Nooo.

Damn that's alot of lights to replace

I love that damn bullet hole in Liz's dress. It was the first indication they weren't gonna make everyone dumb as a bag of rocks and drag the storyline out FOR EVER.

Hoverboarding. Iz!!

Hey there Kyle!

Annnd here it comes, I'm in love.

That smug fucking grin. The song.

That look when he's trying to get the keys. That look would make you do just about anything.

That Michael monologue. It just gets better everytime I watch it.

Without a doubt, top 3 best character intros ever.

And we're only 15 mins in! I need to make less comments

I didn't think anyone was reading!! :wink:

"Untie some loose ends" - you go Iz

Oh Max you fucker. Telling Michael he wouldn't do anything for anyone else. Excuse fucking you.

Ok, blasting Max across the room is kinda hot. But then his guilty face! :sob:

And god, that little shoulder touch on Iz one the way out.

Another example of non-verbal storytelling. In one scene we get the fractured relationship between Max and Michael, we get that Iz and Michael are close and that both boys defer/protect Iz. So much with so little. It also sets up the physicality of the broken relationship between Max and Michael.

Others have commented on how Max is physically intimidating with people, and literally pushes Michael around, but to be fair, Michael is pretty much the same with Max (but never really with anyone else that we see on screen though we hear about it.

And then in a few lines, Iz gives us a lifetime of fears and concerns - dissection, prison, lying and hiding to loved ones - the rest of the season in seconds of dialogue

Ah, the ONLY thing that gives me Max feels is how dismissive both Iz and Michael are of Max's feelings about Liz. Especially annoying consider Michael should really fucking know better.

Yeah, because he's been pining for Alex just as long.

Unrequited love hurts just as much. Kiss or no kiss.

That's my take anyway.

Here it comes...

Typing may get bad. Cat is sitting on chest and I can't see keyboard.

Seriously, there is nothing overtly relationshippy or sexual, no pointed stares, but just how soft Michael is, even as he's making the real Manes man comment, you just know these two have a past, and that past was probably intimate.

The casual sex comment though, oh yeah they've fucked. That is such a fuck you comment to an ex.

And again with massive story in few words - Alex knocking his leg. "3/4 of one"

That run and tell Daddy line. The nastiest thing Michael says in the entire season, although we don't know that yet. And it strikes such a dissonant tone, even though we don't know why. I'm gonna put it down to things changing so much between shooting the pilot and the rest of the season.

Just my humble opinion but the shirt changing scene could've lasted longer. Just sayin'

Maths, lots and lots of maths

I love the glass SFX

Rosa!! "All our lives that kids been making eyes at you"

Oh Liz, such a good sister. Fixing up the memorial. And the braclets

Ah, sneaky Liz appears

Oh yeah can he keep a secret

Liz begging Max to tell her she isn't loosing her mind. Fuuuck.

Not cool Michael. Great control, but not cool.

Racist Hank, you douche bag

And Maria introduced as taking no shit from ANYONE.

Iz and her slideshow. I love that line.

Why is Iz so vehement that Michael would be so upset about telling Liz?

Max loosing it and Iz looking quite surprised. Forshadowing

yes, Iz no like about it. He is in love with her.

Ah Iz, Iz, Iz. "Too many secrets, things she can't ever know" you don't know the half of it.

Fall in love with someone else.  - If I could have, I would have. Fuck, Max, I feel you on that one.

Jesus, how do all these guys make dark flannel look so hot?

Dance it out. i don't dance in this town anymore, Kyle...

Hot take, I know everyone is mad for Trevino's cheekbones, but honestly, they aren't my thing. But his eyes, gods, his eyes. He has the best eyes on the show. God that make me sound like a freak.

"whatever" with that tiny, tiny almost invisible smirk. Yeah, you think you're all that

He manages that whole distraction use me, use me speech without coming off as a total wanker. And that is pretty amazing.

The station promo/ad on my cable channel has a bit for Roswell - tag line: "Beam me up hotties." Too right.

Scientist Liz!!

Needs answers now.

Fuck you Jesse Manes

I hate you already.

No Kyle, don't do it. But thank fuck he doesn't just start talking,

Yeah, nah Max. That's not how it works. It's not ok if people are nice to you but shitty to everyone else.

Why should Michael like the world? it's been pretty shitty to him!?!

Liz with the serial killer joke, just with the wrong person!!

The pods are sorta cool.

They could've been so chessy.

Now we know why the three of them are so close. And just about the only real bit of exposition on the show.

But will you Liz? Will you keep the promise?

Secret Bunker No 1

"This matters to you, so I'm here". :heart:

Do what Michael, what could you possibly mean?

"Just like you did 10 yrs ago".......

What are you max? Just a guy from Roswell

In Max's favour, when he says he stayed in Roswell, and didn't follow Liz because of Iz and Michael, he doesn't sound resentful, which is sort of what you'd expect here. I like that.And Max going to the reunion for Iz. And Liz tagging along even though she's expecting a bad reception.

"i don't save people all the time. I never save people" But you saved Liz, And why is that Max?

OT re Trevino's eyes. It was that gif set of him laying on his stomach  on his bed (?) with his doggo, looking up to the camera. That angle, OMG, his eyes....

And no verbal confirmation, just Liz realising exactly what Max said - that even though he's in a job where he'd be in contact with sick/dying people alot, he's never saved anyone before. Omph

Of course you remember the very first time you met, Max.

Little kid Max is sooo cute.

Ah you big sap, Max.

No kissing. An "Echo" of what he feels for Liz.

Nice choice of words there writers.

We see what you did there.

So far it's taken me 2 hrs to watch 50 mins

Fuck you again Jesse Manes

Swoon Kyle's eyes.

And we have Kyle's first exposure to the fact that the govt knows about aliens and did medical type stuff to them.  Does this hover in the back of his mind from now on? is this the reason for the quick reaction to his fathers actions at Caufield.?

No he's fucking not cooking meth. Seriously, Alex, what the fuck?

Sorry Alex, not cool, not cool AT all.

I want to see the outakes of Tyler saying phenyl-2-propanone

Because I'm a bitch like that

Yeah, that so serious up close and personal for straight people....

And there is Alex's nastiest line - You're wasting your life. Gods, that is such a shit thing to say to Michael.

And re outtakes because Tyler would laugh and do that thing where he covers his mouth as he trys to stop himself giggling. That's soooo cute.

But anyway, back to the show...

Oh, he wants to hold something, Michael but it's not your hand...

Macho cowboy swagger.

Did it get old for you.

No it did not get fucking old for him. At all.

Michael walking away with arm around girl. Noting for those who say they didn't realise Michael was bi after watching the pilot. How?

How could you miss it?

You go Maria - dying alone of syphillis to bitch

Maybe Liz does still dance in Roswell!! She just needs a good reason.

And that song begins.

"You can't hide from who you are". Alex's prothesis as he looks at himeself skating in the slide show. Fucking killing us.

And it only gets worse-

I don't thnk that's an unpopular opinon at all. That's totally where I see his headspace. But that does result in him saying some nasty shit to Michael. And it's because we know it's not true that it hurts so much.

Fair warning it may take me half an hour to get through the next 2 mins of show!!

Long shot - "Nostalgia's a bitch"

Fuck, the way Michael looks at Alex as he's leaning against the door. People have started wars to have someone look at them like that. That's Greek epic shit right there.

Then cut shot to Max and Iz looking at Liz.

Alex expecting Michael to be gone from Roswell.

"Is that what you want" as Michael takes a step closer. Not "wanted", but "want".

"What I want doesn't matter" as they both slowly sway towards each other. Bullshit, Alex. What you want is ALL that matters. Fuck everything else.

Michael's eyes flicking up to Alex's face....

And Michael launches himself at Alex like a dying man.

God, how do you even describe that kiss?? Everything about it is just.......

But it's more than just the fire. Its the tenderness of Michael gently craddling Alexs' head even though the kiss is passionate and desperate.

Battery break

And then, back to reality - Iz knows that Max has told Liz.

And then Jess Fucking Manes (I fututus et mori in ignie cunne) (don't look that up it's very bad swearing) talking about being monsters who despise compassion and love. Projecting much.

"Thrive on our tragedy". Die MF Die

Despise Love over a visual of Michael and Alex. Die some more you MF

But you haven't told Liz everything have you Max. There's still some stuff you're hiding.

"When the truth hunts you down"

Yeah, that truth is going to hunt you down and fuck you up Max

My house just wobbled.

No, there isn't a secret that is safe.

And people will be caught in the crossfire - have already.

"What's lost will be found, when the truth hunts you down."

Well doesn't that one line sum up a ton of shit that goes down in the rest of the season.

And fin

3 hrs

That was not what I planned.

#roswell new mexico #Roswell Nm #roswellnm #liveblog

[cubbiegirl1723]

Veronica Mars Season 4 Thoughts

Beware, spoilers ahead! Stop reading this if you don’t want to know!

Okay, I never do anything more on tumblr than post LoVe gifs but I have THOUGHTS and I need to share them, even if I’m just screaming into the void. There are some serious Veronica Mars Season 4 spoilers ahead so proceed at your own risk. And it’s long so...yeah. Perhaps the first of many, honestly.

For this to make any sense, I want to give a little bit of my background as a Marshmallow. I didn’t watch Veronica Mars when it originally aired; mostly because at that time in my life I was busy graduating from college, starting my first big grown up job, and getting married. We didn’t have cable so TV watching was limited to Netflix on discs. (Yes, on DVDs THROUGH THE MAIL. Crazy, I know.) At some point later, Amazon Prime added VM to their library and I had a free trial so I decided to watch. I love detective/PI shows (among my favorites are Magnum PI, Psych, and Republic of Doyle) so it was an instant fit. Veronica is a kickass heroine and Season 1 is literally my favorite of all time. I couldn’t get enough. So I came for the mystery. But Season 2 is not as compelling and Season 3 is...hard to watch. But I stuck around because these characters are so interesting. It’s not about the mystery anymore for me, because those are mediocre, at best. (ELECTROCUTED IN A BATHTUB. NEED I SAY MORE?!?)  I’m a 36 year old stay at home mom, watching a TV show about a 17 year old girl. I get this. I don’t watch because I’m struggling in my relationships or dealing with high school drama. Or solving crimes. That’s not why this show is appealing. But I couldn’t get enough of the these characters. Needless to say, I was a fan of the good parts of the movie and I enjoyed many parts of the books as well. I was BEYOND THRILLED at the prospect of Season 4. More Veronica? More Logan? More Neptune? Real recognition for my favorite show, saved by the best fandom in existence? YES PLEASE. 

I’m the first to admit that I don’t have a degree in film studies or literature. But I like a good story, I read a lot, and write a little. I’m not an expert by any means and I freely admit I’m not objective about it. I love Logan Echolls and in most ways, he is more admirable than Veronica when it comes to dealing with trauma and being a successful adult. Having admitted my bias, I think this is more than me being upset about the death of my favorite character. I really wish this was just a post of me analyzing the things I liked and didn’t like about the newest season. Maybe I will get into that at some point, I don’t know. All of that—the OCC moments, the inconsistencies, Veronica’s troubling attitudes—was overshadowed by a choice that legitimately doesn’t fit, doesn’t make sense to me. It’s not just that I’m upset and I didn’t like it. I know I’m not objective but Logan’s death did not add to the plot line in any fashion and I ABSOLUTELY HATE the way it was handled. More on that in a second. Here’s where I’m struggling most, though. It doesn’t fit the message. 

Maybe I’m just dumb, but Season 4 was different than I expected. (Vast understatement, I know.) With all this emphasis on “mature content” and “Veronica’s healthy sex life,” I was prepared to be shocked. (I wasn’t.) Rob Thomas spoke at length about the story arc and Veronica’s big choice for the season. He talked about how she was going to have to choose between settling down/marriage/family versus her career, a choice many men face. (Side note: what man has to choose that?!? They can very easily have it all. There’s absolutely no gender reversal here at all.) But as I watched, that’s not what I saw happening. I saw Veronica having to choose between letting people in, trusting people, and staying stagnant, closed off. She made a new friend in Nicole—and lost her because she didn’t trust her. She didn’t want to upset the status quo in her life by marrying Logan. So we see her struggle with all this, see her wrestle with all the trauma in her background and her issues and how it affects her relationships. This tension is beautiful and I loved it! By choosing to marry Logan, Veronica is saying that she is learning and is willing to let him in further. This shows character growth! 

And then what happens with his death? “Neptune” once again proves to Veronica that she can’t control her circumstances and she’s just a victim. She’s right to keep herself closed off because she doesn’t deserve happiness and will never find it. I think it’s odd that KB wants this message out there for her young girls but I’ve often thought that while she plays Veronica amazingly well, she maybe doesn’t see her the same way I do.

Do I believe that Veronica could overcome the pain of losing Logan? Yes, I do. BECAUSE SHE’S DONE IT BEFORE. This story has already been told. It’s unnecessary to repeat in her character development. We know Veronica can survive it—we spent years watching that and how it shaped her. It’s fascinating but her character doesn’t need more trauma to be interesting. Her marshmallow center is what makes Veronica a lovable character and without that, she’s no longer compelling to me. What we need to see is how she lives in the trauma and grows through it. Based on her weird reactions to things (angry sex, poor social skills) it’s safe to say that she’s STILL not dealing well with her high school trauma. She told us earlier in the season that if anything happened to Logan or her dad, she would “put her head in the oven.” I’m glad that’s not how she responds but...how does she deal???

Which leads to my next big complaint. We don’t see any of that. (NOT THAT WE NEED TO BECAUSE IT’S ALREADY BEEN DONE BEFORE.) It honestly might have been inspiring if we saw Veronica—absolutely crushed by the death of her husband of 5 minutes—pulling herself out of the rubble and rebuilding. (Side note: could his death have been more tropey??? Don’t tell me, Rob Thomas, that you’re ready to write a grown up show when, OMG, you use more cliches in 8 episodes than the previous 64 high school soap opera ones combined. I guess we can be thankful Logan doesn’t have a baby while in a coma.) We don’t see Logan’s death, we don’t see his grave, we have no finality in this, but more importantly, we don’t see Veronica grieve at all. We flash forward a year, she’s talking about how “Spring Break is dead” but she doesn’t talk about Logan at all. She fills us (and her therapist) in on all that’s happened in Neptune since but she’s wearing bright colors, listening to poppy music, the sun is shining, and she’s driving her happy red car along the scenic coast out of Neptune. I’m glad that she’s okay but it’s not inspiring because it’s not allowed to be.

I really really really didn’t like the emotional pacing of Logan’s death, either, but that’s a rant for another time. I just can’t believe that Rob Thomas thinks anyone wants to watch this version of Veronica without anyone in her life calling on her crap. No one is here for the mysteries. They aren’t that great. (Yes, there was a small twist to this one but the killer was who I guessed after the first episode.) And if RT can’t figure out how to write a married couple with tension he needs to hire someone who can. I’m sorry that it was just “too hard” for him to figure out. I sincerely hope his gamble fails. What an utter betrayal of the people who literally brought his show back from the grave. And please don’t tell me that this is what I “need.” You’ve insulted me enough already. 

#veronica mars season 4 spoilers #veronica mars revival spoilers #veronica mars #veronica mars meta #cubbiegirl

[mariequitecontrarie]

All of Me: Chapter 16

The Fic: Belle French is a pudgy librarian who’s in love from afar with “town monster” and ace reporter, Mr. Gold. Little does she know, he’s head-over-heels in love with her, too. Chapter Summary: Belle and Emma go shopping in Portland to prepare for a big night out with Gold and Neal at the Storybrooke Winter Gala. Emma runs into an old high school rival and shares a secret. Rating: T A/N: Guys, it’s been 84 years! Much love to @galactic-pirates and @magnoliatattoo for putting up with me. Artwork by the talented @wizzygold @a-monthly-rumbelling: “I’m not dressed for this.”

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | 

Stay with Me (bet. Ch 9&10) | Spiked Chocolate (bet. Ch 16&17) | Pieces of Me (Q&A)

ON AO3

“The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.” - Marcelene Cox

***Three weeks after Belle has moved out of her parents’ house and into Marco’ s.***

Belle picked up the telephone to call Gold at the newspaper, her day planner spread open on the desk.

Yes, it was old-fashioned, writing things down on a calendar and lugging the thick planner around in her bag, but she liked old-fashioned. She liked books, and fountain pens, and the rustle of paper—both crisply new and faded with age. Besides, she didn’t trust iPhone calendar apps.

She’d forgotten Daddy and Edith’s anniversary one too many times thanks to those finicky electronic calendars. Whenever it happened, she rushed to write a card at the last minute but instead of being grateful, Edith seemed to enjoy shaming her for “neglecting her family.” Personally, Belle felt anniversaries were about the couple celebrating each other…but her thoughts were veering way off course. If she ventured down the dark road of worrying over Edith, she could end up in bed with a box of snowball cakes for the rest of the day.

But falling into depression was less likely now that she no longer called her father and Edith’s house home. After three weeks of living with Marco, there was no denying how much better she felt; the freedom of coming and going as she pleased was a heady sensation. Sometimes Gold joined her at Marco’s house in the evening and the three of them played Scrabble together. Once, she had insisted Marco not cook dinner after cooking at the restaurant all day long and dragged him to Emma’s house for a family dinner where Henry chattered about school and his friends and made everyone laugh until their sides ached. 

But most often, Marco would come home from the restaurant and the two of them would eat a pasta and salad dinner, and then spend the evening in the comfortable quiet of his small, cozy living room. His overstuffed couch and chairs were such a contrast to the hard, slick leather furniture Edith filled her house with, and Belle loved sinking into the corner of Marco’s huge couch and covering up with a fluffy throw blanket.

Sometimes they would make small talk about their days but on most evenings, Marco would be bent over a notebook making notes for the next day’s specials at the restaurant, and she would pull out her laptop to research books to add to the library. Usually, either the Cooking Channel or HGTV played in the background. She’d had an older television in her bedroom at her parents’ but no cable connection. Marco, however, had a new flatscreen and Belle indulged in her love of watching House Hunters International, which combined two of her favorite pastimes: seeing home interiors and a peek at exotic destinations.

Gone were the days of being chased into her bedroom, hiding her diary, and hoarding snacks. Some days, the years spent in Edith and her dad’s frosty household seemed like a bad dream. 

At least twice a week, Belle offered to pay Marco rent. It didn’t seem right to eat his food and live in his space and offer nothing in return. But he refused every time she asked. “No,” he had said this morning over breakfast, flipping eggs with a stubborn twist of his lips. “We are family, Bella. La famiglia. And when life is hard, family is a soft place to land.” Her eyes had burned with grateful tears, but she kissed his cheek and ate her breakfast and let him fuss over her until they went their separate ways—he to the restaurant and her to the library.

Besides, she thought as she punched in Gold’s number, she didn’t have time for wallowing.

She needed to talk to Gold about the annual Storybrooke Winter Gala today. On impulse, Neal had bought four tickets and insisted he and Emma and Belle and Gold make a double date of the occasion. He’d even arranged for their next-door neighbor, Ana, to watch Henry.

Every December, the Mayor’s Office hosted the gala to benefit the city schools. This year, all proceeds would go toward school Arts programs—music, theatre, writing, and art workshops. Emma and Gold usually attended every year, Gold to cover the event for the Times and Emma to capture photographs to accompany the story. Belle had never been invited to the ball before, though, and she wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Part of her didn’t want to be seen in public with so many shiny glossy people she couldn’t measure up to, but another side of her was excited to play princess for an evening.

She glanced again at the date and punched in Gold’s phone number. Today was Friday, November 16th. Thanksgiving was next week, which meant the gala was only three weeks away. There wasn’t much time to get ready. Finding a dress could be difficult and she would probably need to take it to a tailor, too. The thought of shopping for formalwear made her palms begin to sweat.

“Gold,” he answered on the first ring.

“What are you wearing?” she asked in a rush, followed by a breathless pause.

He answered with a laugh, the deep, rich sound making her spine tingle. She imagined him setting down the newspaper proof he was holding to turn in his chair to peer out the window toward the library. Since her office was in the back of the building he couldn’t actually see her, but she felt the admiring burn of his eyes all the same.

She heard a rustling sound as he set down the pages. When they talked or spent time together, he always gave her his full attention. It was certainly a refreshing change from Sean distractedly glancing at her during one of his marathon video game sessions and asking her to repeat what she’d said for the third time.

“A naughty call in the middle of the workday?” Gold drawled into the phone. “Sweetheart, men dream of these sorts of calls from their girlfriends. It’s not even my birthday.”

Belle blushed. She hadn’t stopped to think how awkward the question would sound out of context, but now that it was out, she teased him right back. “Mmmm nothing naughty to say today but just wait till it is your birthday,” she said. “Now that you mention it…”

“Yes?” He drew out the word, filling it with expectation and making her giggle.

She could almost see him leaning forward across the desk, a mischievous gleam in those caramel eyes.

“When is your birthday?”

“January 14th,” he answered promptly. “And tell Marco I prefer ice cream cake.”

“You prefer every cake,” she shot back, smiling into the phone. When it came to baked goods, Gold had an enormous sweet tooth. “But I think it can be arranged.”

“That’s excellent news. Just don’t tell Marco how many candles to put on it because the thing will be melted before we have a chance to slice it.”

Belle knew he was still self-conscious about the difference in their ages. She also knew exactly how to soothe him when he worried. “Then it’s a good thing I prefer mature men.”

“Indeed,” he said, sounding pleased.

She flipped her planner forward and marked his birthday on the calendar in bold, red ink, surrounding the date with fat, bright hearts. The birthday of the man she loved was an important day—far more worth remembering than the wedding date of her stuffy stepmother and emotionally unavailable father. At least she knew Marco wouldn’t snoop through her things and read her planner or her diary. But she was digressing again.

“Now, back to my question,” she ordered, feigning sternness. 

“You have my full attention, General French.”

She laughed and rubbed the thick holiday gala invitation between her fingers. Its embossed gold lettering and sprigs of holly in metallic ink screamed expensive. Everyone knew the Storybrooke Winter Gala was the social event of the season. From the chilled seafood towers bursting with crab claws and lobster tails to the elegant champagne cocktails, no expense would be spared.

Belle fanned her warm cheeks with the cardstock, her clammy fingers leaving damp smudges at the top of the matte stationery. “The invite says formal attire, but you’re almost always formal. Were you thinking suit or tuxedo?”

 “At the moment, I’m in my usual. I did opt for the socks with the turkeys today as a nod to next Thursday.”

Belle giggled and dragged her teeth over her lower lip. His Thanksgiving socks were adorable and he was being terribly sweet in his attempts to put her at ease. She wanted to go to the gala, but she didn’t want to look like a country bumpkin who had never been anywhere. Gold had attended fancy dinners and parties all over the world. He’d been to a State Dinner with the President, for goodness sake, while Belle had never ventured beyond the Portland city limits. “You know what I mean. It’s not like we can show up in sweatpants and be all ‘sorry, I’m not dressed for this.’” Oh, how she wished.

“Sweetheart, you can wear anything you like. You’re gorgeous no matter what you have on. That said, I’m not really the proper person to offer advice on evening gown selections. Why don’t you talk to Emma?”

She sighed. “Honey, I have talked to Emma. We’re both going shopping and we both need to know. It’s not like we can ask Neal for guidance.” Exasperated, she pushed a curl off her forehead, wondering why she had to explain this. “You know what he’s like. Emma said, ‘Neal would dust corn chips off his construction clothes, zip a hoodie sweatshirt over it, and head out the door.’ That’s a direct quote, by the way.”

Gold burst out laughing. “Sounds like my boy. I’ll make sure he’s dressed appropriately.”

“Anyway,” she continued, “there’s not much of a boutique circuit here in Storybrooke and I’m not exactly a candidate for Rent the Runway.” She sucked in the inside of her cheek as soon as those last words were out. Since they’d started dating, she’d been making a concerted effort not to say self-deprecating things about herself. At least not out loud.

Gold hadn’t seemed to notice her negativity, though.

“Which would you prefer I wear? Tux or suit?”

The image of whirling on the dance floor with Gold in a sleek black tuxedo was doing crazy things to her insides. “Tux,” she said in a breathless whisper. “Tux sounds good.”

“Tux it shall be then. And Belle?”

“Yes?” She was still picturing Gold in black tie and her stomach was doing gymnastics.

“Love,  I meant what I said: you’re gorgeous no matter what you wear. We’re going to the gala so we can dance and eat shrimp cocktail and support the Arts, not so you’ll worry over competing with silly girls and stupid women who wouldn’t know true beauty if it ran over them with a sleigh.”

“I wish you and Emma and Neal were going to be the only ones there,” she murmured, feeling silly. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t known about the gala and been given every opportunity to decide against going. The event had been on the calendar for weeks, yet the closer it came the more she fretted about fitting in. An inexplicable craving for belonging tightened her chest.

Gold hummed into the phone. “This is about more than a dress, isn’t it, sweetheart?”

She closed her eyes and took a deep, slow breath, letting the weight of his understanding settle over her like a comforting mantle. Her head lolled forward until her forehead rested upon the top of her desk. The smooth, cool grain of the wood felt good against her flushed skin and she forced out another lungful of air. Gold didn’t deserve to be at the wrong end of her short fuse. She tried to tell herself she belonged at the gala because he’d invited her, but the heart didn’t always believe the head—no matter how sensible the head was being.

“It matters to me that I at least look like I belong, even if it isn’t true,” she admitted.

Gold was quiet for a long moment. “It is true, sweetheart. For as long as I draw breath, you will always have a place to belong. If Marco, Emma, Neal, and Henry were here, I know each of them would say the same. I also know it’s going to take more than hearing the words to make you believe it. You have to know the truth deep down. I love you so much, and I only hope and pray that one day you’ll see yourself the way we see you.”

Belle pressed her lips together, muffling a sob. “Thank you for understanding,” she whispered tearfully. “I love you.”

“It’s nearly five. I’m coming over to the library.” Through the phone, she heard the distinctive click of his pocket watch as he snapped it closed. “When I get there, I’m going to kiss you till you’re breathless, then take you out for a nice, quiet dinner, just the two of us. How does that sound?”

Belle smiled and wiped her tears and her worries away with a tissue from the box on her desk. “It sounds perfect.”

“So we’re here.” Emma sucked down the dregs of her iced latte in a noisy slurp and wiped her hands on her black jeans. “Portland. Boutique Row. What do we do now?” She tossed the cup in the trash can inside the door.

Like aliens on a foreign planet, they hovered inside the doorway of Posh, the largest formal boutique in the city.

Belle eyed Emma suspiciously. “I thought you said you knew about shopping.”

“Yeah, for denim and dry fit. Where to get the best doughnuts. And the occasional piece of leather. Not evening gowns.”

“But you’ve been to this gala before?” she pressed.

“Yeah, as the photographer. No one pays attention to what you’re wearing when you’re behind the camera. I got away with black pants and a dress shirt three years running.”

Belle looked her friend up and down. Perspiration was dotting Emma’s temples. Her cheeks, ruddy from the winter air outside just moments ago, were ashen. She knew that deer-in-headlights look: Emma was on the verge of an anxiety attack.

Belle ran her teeth over her lower lip, discouragement slithering around her and squeezing the air from her lungs. “Are we in trouble?”

“It’s possible,” Emma acknowledged, then shook her head hard enough to cause her ponytail to sway. “No. No! We’re two grown women. We can handle one small town formal.”

“You make it sound like war,” Belle said wryly.

“It’s worse. Other women. Rich, polished, cold as ice.” She rolled her eyes at a chic blonde dripping in Chanel and carrying a Louis Vuitton handbag bigger than Belle’s suitcase. “Maybe we should invest in suits of armor.”

“Or maybe we should eat them for supper.”

Emma snorted, their laughter breaking the tension. It was rare for Emma to be intimidated, and Belle patted her shoulder. Misery loved company, and somehow knowing she wasn’t alone in her insecurity gave her hope for more than the hunt for an evening gown. “We can do this, as long as we do it together.”

Emma’s reached for Belle’s hand and squeezed. “Right. Together is better.”

”Exactly.”

Emma gave a long, slow whistle and they moved into the store like two people tied together in a three-legged race. “Where should we start?” Belle stared at the array of gowns and began to shuffle through the racks, heading in the direction of the plus sizes. She’d come here expecting to have maybe two choices in style but after a few minutes of browsing, to her surprise, there were many gowns in her size—short and long, tight and flowing, beaded and glittery. And though she hadn’t tried on a solitary dress, she was still convinced there wasn’t one in all of Portland designed to flatter her physique. In one fell swoop, she’d gone from zero choices to too many. So many dresses, so little time, and so much Belle.

Even the eggnog lattes and cream-stuffed doughnuts she and Emma had feasted on in the car on the way here left her feeling hollow. She was at her worst at formal events—the last one she’d been to was her high school senior prom and not one person had asked her to dance. She’d gone stag simply so she didn’t have to sit in the house with her father and Edith. With the exception of going to the refreshment table to sneak brownies, she had sat in the corner the entire time.

But she wasn’t in high school any longer. She had a handsome escort in Gold and friends to spend the evening with. The steeply priced gala tickets had already been purchased and paid for and supporting the Arts in their schools? She couldn’t think of a more excellent cause. Besides, backing out three weeks before the event was paramount to announcing you had no interest in seeing Hamilton. It simply wasn’t done.

She squinted in the direction of the lingerie. Spanx were what she needed—something to suck her in and smooth her out—injected with industrial-strength elastic.

“Black. Black is the slimming choice,” Belle decided aloud, pushing through the rack toward a plain A-line silk sheath gown.

At least if she stuck to basic black, she and Gold would match. Like two penguins. One sleek and sophisticated, the other round and plump, carrying a lot of blubber around to make it through the hard, cold, South Pole winter.

“No black! Black is the safe choice,” Emma countered, smacking Belle’s hand when she reached for the hanger on another simple, nondescript black gown with clean lines.

“And that’s bad why?”

“Because it’s drab and washes you out. Go for color. Like gold.”

“Suddenly you’re a Pantone expert?” Belle winced. “A gold dress? Isn’t that a touch…cliché?”

“Alright. We’ll keep looking.”

Belle nudged Emma in the direction of a tall, willow-thin woman with striking black and grey hair and the pointiest red stilettos she’d ever seen. “Maybe we should ask someone. I think she works here.”

Emma squinted and slid more dresses down the rack. “The one with the scarf on?”

“It’s a poncho.” She knew that much.

“Wait! Wait! Try this emerald one! Gold will go crazy when he sees you in this!” Emma whipped a dazzling, jewel-toned gown with a daring thigh-high slit off the rack. Belle stared at the stunning gown then glanced back at the saleswoman. “Five minutes ago you didn’t know anything about dresses.” “You’re right, I don’t. But I know my father-in-law and he’s going to love that dress. Well, he’d love you in a life-sized paper bag, but this dress will make even Mr. Smart Ass Newspaper Dude speechless. God, I can picture him drooling already!” She thrust the dress into Belle’s arms and gave her a playful shove. “Go try it on. And remember, the only person who has to know how beautiful you are…”

“Is me,” Belle finished. They’d had this conversation often during their walks over the past few months, and Emma had reminded her yet again on the two-hour drive here. She fingered the rich velvet skirt with trembling fingers. Now she had to walk the walk. “I’ll try it. What color are you looking for?” she asked, backing into the fitting room.

“Black.” “Emma!” she whined.

Emma yanked the fitting room curtain closed with a laugh. The dress was crushed velvet with full-length sleeves, hard to find, even in the middle of a brutal Maine winter. She slid into the gown, the silk-lined velvet feeling decadent against her skin. Even without the back completely zipped, she liked the look. Emma was right, she realized, turning this way and that in the three-way mirror.

The scoop neck hugged her shoulder blades, emphasizing her thinnest feature—her shoulders—and the color made her blue eyes sparkle and skin creamy even under the garish fluorescent fitting room lights. It was a few inches too long for her 5-foot, 1-inch frame, but the skirt length was easily remedied at a tailor. Not hating it, she took a deep breath, lifted the skirt so she wouldn’t trip, and opened the curtain. She hoped Emma was nearby because she didn’t want to make a spectacle of herself. Those stupid little fitting room closets were designed to thrust you back out onto the floor where commission-hungry salespeople could tell you how good you looked and convince you to buy.

“Em,” she called out, “could you zip—” She swallowed the rest of her words. Emma was face-to-face with a dark-haired woman, and looking even more nervous than she had when they walked into the boutique. “Emma? Emma Nolan?” The stranger wore a smart navy pantsuit and a light blue silk blouse, and her blood-red lips spread in a wide smile. Everything about her, from her perfectly coifed hair to her buffed, nude pumps, screamed suave and important.

“Yeah, who’s asking?” “It’s me, Regina Mills. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten. We graduated together from Storybrooke High! I sat next to you in Mr. Walsh’s English class.” “Oh, hey.” Emma kicked the carpet with her boot, looking anything but thrilled to meet an old high school friend. “Good to see you. You remember Belle French, I’m sure. She graduated the year after us.” Regina frowned at Belle, making a small scar on her upper lip stand out. “Sorry, doesn’t ring a...bell.” “It’s fine. We didn’t really travel in the same social circles anyway,” Belle said.  Regina pouted, as if trying to decide if Belle’s remark was a put-down.

Well, she could interpret the comment however she wished. Belle didn’t care for the change that had come over Emma since Regina had appeared or the barely-veiled insult that she wasn’t worth remembering. Now that she’d had a good look at her, she remembered Regina well enough. Then again, it was hard to forget the most popular girl to ever come out of Storybrooke High School. Student body president, prom queen, and girlfriend of Daniel Colter, captain of the football team. Belle would have called her a high school cliché, except that Regina had carried her smooth, flawless reputation into adulthood. She was still the most beautiful woman Belle had ever seen close-up.  “I’m just in town for meetings today. I’m an attorney and planning to run for office next term.” Regina’s frozen smile was back in business. “I’m thinking start small with state Senate and work up from there. So, Emma, what have you been up to since graduation? I haven’t seen you since we walked across the stage.” “Um, well.” Emma shoved her hands in her pockets and looked toward the racks of dresses. “Emma is a gifted photographer,” Belle said, sliding to her friend’s side. If Emma wasn’t going to boast about her accomplishments, she sure as hell was going to do it for her. “How exciting!” Regina’s grin was wolfish, her dark eyes sparkling. “Are you exhibiting your portraits at any galleries?” “Uh…” Emma looked at the floor. “No time,” Belle put in. “Right, Em? You’re much too busy with your son, Henry and your husband, Neal.” “Oooh, a husband.” Regina’s eyes flashed again, reminding Belle of a shark circling its prey. “Is he a doctor?” “Nope.” “Hmmm.” She tapped a red nail against her jaw. “A lawyer then?” “He’s in construction,” Emma said, looking to Belle for help. “For your information, he runs his own construction company. He’s built most of Storybrooke’s new buildings in the last ten years.” Belle glared at Regina, daring her to make another cutting remark. “So he’s a working man,” she said, managing to make the term sound neither positive nor negative. “Yeah. Yeah. He’s great.” Emma’s laugh was feeble and she ducked her head.  Regina clapped her hands. “This has been fun, catching up. We should do this again sometime.” She flashed another gorgeous, winning smile, and moved in the direction of the lingerie. “Best of luck on the campaign trail,” Belle called after her. Waiting until Regina was out of earshot, Belle whirled on Emma. “Excuse me, but what the hell was that?”

“Never mind. We have shopping to do.” Emma cleared her throat and tried to slide past her, but Belle held her ground.

“The shopping can wait. Who died and crowned Regina Mills queen?”

Belle had zero patience for people who clambered for social standing and pronounced themselves better than others. Having been so often on the receiving end of other people’s sarcasm, Belle rarely talked down to people. But standing up to bullies didn’t count. Something about watching Emma cower in front of Regina caused an angry fire to blaze in her belly. Maybe she was lousy at defending herself, but she’d be damned if she’d let anyone walk all over her friend. Emma shrugged and studied the dresses. She was pretending not to care about the awkward encounter, but Belle knew better. “I don’t like small talk. ‘Hi. How are you?’ she parroted. ‘Oh, I’m fine, how are you?’ News flash: nobody’s fine.”

“Em…”

“No matter how she makes it sound, Regina and I weren’t friends in high school, we were competitors.” She rolled her eyes. “She reminisces about Mr. Walsh’s English class like that was the only time we saw each other. I guess she forgot about the four years we spent one-upping each other on the cheerleading squad, softball team, and the debate team. Always trying to be smarter, stronger, and skinnier than the other. We were out for blood.”

“Then why are you letting her get under your skin?”

Emma sighed and pulled on her ponytail. “You know Cora Mills?”

“Cora Mills, the mayor? Of course.” Belle suppressed a shudder.

Regina’s mother, Cora, had been mayor of Storybrooke for as long as Belle could remember. Cora was a cold, calculating woman, but what she lacked in lovable qualities, she made up for in efficiency. She ran Storybrooke like a machine and no one could argue with her methods, not even Gold, who was paid to search out everything. From the few times Belle had met her, she realized Cora wasn’t mean so much as devoid of emotion.  Beyond a perfunctory review of the library budget once a year, Belle was fortunate to rarely communicate with the Mayor’s Office and even when she did, it was strictly emails between Belle and Cora’s assistant. The library and its services were beneath Cora’s notice; so long as Belle didn’t ask for too much money, she stayed under her radar—which was exactly the way she liked it.

Emma wandered to a bench next to the row of fitting rooms and plopped down. “My mom always wanted to be like her, you know.”

“Really?” Belle would never have expected sweet, kind Mary Margaret Nolan to want to emulate Cora Mills.

Emma smirked. “Once, a long time ago, Mom even tried bidding against her for Mayor but she was too nice. She was laughed out of the first debate, and it’s a good thing because the town would have walked all over her. Since Mom couldn’t be like Cora, she decided the next best thing would be for me to be like Cora’s daughter, Regina. I spent every day of high school trying to beat Regina for one reason: because my mom couldn’t beat hers.”

“Wow,” Belle said. “I would never have known. Your mom is such a great teacher and your parents are like a fairytale marriage. Talk about relationship goals.”

“Exactly. The thing with my mom is she’s incredible just as she is,” she said. “Former prom queen, straight-A student, a born teacher. She’s smart and pretty and married to the perfect, charming husband. And she loves Storybrooke—but not for me.”

“But your parents live in Storybrooke.” Confused, Belle furrowed her brow. “That seems like a bit of a double-standard.”

“Yeah.” Emma shook her head. “’Why do you want to take pictures of engaged couples and local pet adoptions?’ she said, mimicking her mother’s innocent tone. “She would rather I was out on the front lines of some war documenting the dying.” “Like Gold used to?” Belle nodded in sympathy and claimed the empty side of the bench. She knew all too well the feeling of being expected to be someone you couldn’t be and dashing parental hopes in the process. “She feels like you shouldn’t be satisfied with a simple life.” “Bingo! And she resents the hell out of Gold for telling me what it’s really like out there. I think that’s why I’m closer to him now than I am my own parents. He understands weakness and failure in a way I don’t think they can. I’m not some conceited little bitch who’s hiding in the bathroom to throw up everything she eats to fit in anymore, but sometimes that really sucks, you know?”

“Yeah, I do.” Belle’s heart clenched in sympathy. Sometimes she still got sucked into the vortex of her own self-pity and forgot that everyone—even gorgeous, wonderful Emma—was fighting a battle. Trying to be yourself was hard work. It was so much easier to toe the line of people’s expectations, to do and say what made others feel comfortable and safe. “So there’s Regina, first conquering the state of Maine, then the world.” Emma put her head in her hands. “And here I am...not running for a spot even on the PTO. Married with a kid and pregnant again.” “You’re pregnant?” Belle slung an arm around Emma and dragged her against her side in an awkward hug. “Oh, sweetie, that’s amazing!” “Ya think? Emma sniffled but looked hopeful for the first time since they had entered the boutique. “Really? I wasn’t expecting another baby. It just happened.”

“Henry is going to be a big brother!” Belle squealed, excited enough for both of them. “Does your mom know yet?”

“Are you kidding?” “What did Neal say?”

Emma shook her head and touched her belly. “You’re the first soul I’ve told.”

“Me?” Belle crowded closer to Emma and drew her head down on her shoulder. She smoothed Emma’s hair back from her temples, soothing her the way her mother used to when she was little while she tried to process the news. To think she was the first to know about the new addition coming to the Cassidy household. She hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t think I’ve ever been first in someone else’s confidence. At least not...well there’s Gold, of course.” She felt Emma nod against her shoulder. “I know what you mean. I’ve had friends. Acquaintances. Then when I met Neal he satisfied any need I had for friends. He’s a great husband and I love him to pieces, but it’s not like this. Like us. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Belle.”

“Me too,” she said, tears scalding her eyes. She’d known it was true—had felt the stirrings of their bond deep in her spirit ever since their first real conversation at Henry’s birthday clambake. Between family dinners, walks, and girls nights out, the invisible force between them only grown stronger. Somehow acknowledging their friendship out loud made it seem more solid. Precious. As important to her as her love for Gold, but in a different way.

“Now stand up,” Emma said, fishing into her pocket for a crumpled tissue. “I wanna see this dress!”

Belle shot to her feet and smoothed the skirt, her fingers fluttering around the waist and hips while Emma zipped up the back.

“I love it,” she said, motioning for Belle to twirl around.

“Really? You don’t think it makes me look like a medieval strumpet?”

“Hell no!” Emma whistled as Belle turned around again. “You’re stunning. All we need now are Spanx and shoes. And maybe some lingerie for the after-party?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Maybe.” Belle’s face flamed at the thought of wearing a negligee for Gold. “What about you?”

“We’ll get to me after lunch.” She patted her still-flat tummy. “There’s a place down the street serving yummy cheese-covered waffle fries and this kid wants some now.”

Belle’s stomach growled in answer. “Lead the way.”

Their waiter was clearing the lunch plates at the café when Belle heard a knock on the window. She did a double-take as her father waved through the glass with a sheepish smile. Her turkey club sandwich, which had tasted so delicious a few minutes ago, now lodged in her stomach. What was he doing here in the city?

“I’ll grab the check, Belle. You go talk to him,” Emma urged. “If I see things are getting bad I’ll come outside and rescue you.”

Nodding, she gathered her coat and made her way outside, wondering what would bring her father looking for her in Portland of all places, when she hadn’t seen him once on the streets of Storybrooke in the three weeks since she’d moved out.

The air was frigid even in the sunshine, and she seemed to grow colder with every step she took toward her father.

“Daddy?” She wrapped her arms around herself to keep from reaching for a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s the Portland flower show.” He brushed a bit of pollen off the sleeve of his coat. “I was in the neighborhood and saw you having lunch in the window.” “Ah.” Her dad attended the vendor-focused flower exhibition every year. She should have prepared for the possibility of running into him in town, but she’d completely forgotten it was this weekend.

“We haven’t heard from you in weeks, darling. Edith was devastated when you collected your things and left us.”

Belle gave a noncommittal grunt and thrust her cold hands in her pockets. Edith was devastated? Perish the thought her own father actually missed her.

“Marco treating you well?”  he asked gruffly.

“Like family,” she retorted, her voice carrying a sharpness she hadn’t intended.

Her father’s face paled and she instantly regretted her tone. There was no call to be so mean-spirited, especially when it somehow succeeded in making her feel worse instead of better.

He sniffed. “Will we see you for Thanksgiving?“

Belle looked into the clear blue sky, distancing herself from his hopeful gaze. "Marco’s cooking a huge feast, so I’ll be eating with him and Gold and the Cassidys.“

“Christmas?“

She blew out an exasperated breath and hugged herself again. “Let’s push through one nightmare holiday at a time, okay?“

He huffed. “I didn’t realize things had gotten so bad.”

“Are we still talking about holidays, or are you referring to other bad situations?” She thought back to the horrible family dinner she’d put Gold through when she’d tossed a roll at Edith’s head and stormed out. “I can’t live like that anymore. I won’t.”

“You’ve changed, Belle. Is this…is this Gold’s influence on you, then?” He seemed to deflate before her eyes, this giant of a man shriveling down to a pathetic shell. “When did you become this way? So stubborn. So willful.” His lips shook as he spoke. “If your mother were alive, she…”

“But she’s not, Daddy,” Belle interrupted. “Mother hasn’t been with us for years. She’s not here to tell you what to do and what to say, and for that matter neither is Edith. You’re the one who changed. It’s as Erskine said, you don’t even see me. Maybe you never did.”

“Belle!” Emma jogged over to the rescue, her breath a white cloud in the cold afternoon air. “Hey, Mister French. We really gotta get going if we’re going to finish shopping and I promised Henry I’d be home in time to tuck him in.”

“Great. I’m freezing anyway.” She looped her arm through Emma’s and mustered a sad, parting smile for her father. After years of trying to gain his attention and approval, she wasn’t sure when she would see him again and at the moment, she didn’t care. “Take care of yourself, Dad.”

###

#rumbelle fic #rumbelle #a monthly rumbelling #chubby belle #chubby!belle #mr. gold x belle french #swanfire #regina mills #marco #moe french #mqc writes

[pixiealtaira]

Checking It Twice

Hummel Holidays day 19: shopping 2016

pairing: Kadam of course...

“What do you want for Christmas, Adam?” Kurt called from the kitchen as he was making lunch one afternoon.

“It’s August.  I haven’t thought about it.”

“Can you think about it so I can finish my shopping list?  I mean I know I’ll have to add some things closer to Christmas, but I’d like my main shopping done by the start of October.”

“You’re doing your Christmas shopping now?” Adam asked.

Kurt snorted.  He came out and stood next to where Adam had been working on a paper.

“I started my Christmas shopping for this Christmas on the 26th of December last Christmas.” Kurt said. “I get better deals this way.  In May, I found 80 dollar cashmere scarves on sale for 6 bucks…men’s scarves.  They also had hats and gloves, good gloves, on sale as well.  And 90 dollar women’s basic longer length cable knit sweaters in nice solid colors…for 2 bucks.  No snags or holes or anything…just out of season.  But Carole doesn’t care and neither do most girls I know, so those were a great find.  And I got the Kitchen aid mixer Carole’s been wanting…for 1/3 the price because the color is now out of fashion.”

“Well, there are some board games I’d like to get…and I’ve been wanting to pick up my cello again but I need lessons and haven’t gotten around to getting those.  And my cello won’t be getting here until Christmas when it comes with my family.  Oh…my family will be here, so tickets to things we could do.”

“Your family will be here?” Kurt said quietly.

“Yes.  Remember, I asked if you were staying so you could meet them?”

Kurt nodded.

“I think I thought you meant over Skype or something.  I need names and likes and lists, Adam. I need lists!  Who will be here?  Who is staying in England?  Sizes? Colors they look good in? Allergies?  Kids?  Kids will need presents under the tree.”  Kurt was sounding more and more frantic as he went on.

“Darling, Hush now!” Adam said.

Kurt stopped and breathed deeply.

“It’s just…I have to make a good impression, Adam.  I love you…and if they don’t like me, then what?” Kurt asked.

Adam smiled and pulled Kurt down to him, kissing him deeply before pulling back and kissing Kurt’s nose. “I would tell them all where to go. I love you and my family’s opinion won’t change that. Got it?”

Kurt nodded. “Got it.”

“Grab a pencil…and some paper.” Adam said, pushing Kurt up again.  He waited until Kurt was back with a notebook and pulled Kurt into his lap fully.  “Now, number one…everyone is flying in so not a lot of things or a lot of big things. I’d tell you nothing at all, but I know you my dear…and that would not happen.”

“Hey!”

“Can you actually convince me otherwise?”

Kurt shook his head.

“I thought not. Number two...you, my love, are helping me entertain them for TWO WEEKS…consider that.”

Kurt nodded.

“And finally…my family already adores you because I believe you hang the moon and the stars and that the sun revolves around you. You wouldn’t need to get them anything. However…my family are such huge tourists.  Seriously…get them all New York things and everyone would be happy.  Anything with New York splattered across it.”

Kurt glared at Adam, who laughed.

“You can glare at me now…but when the littles are looking at you asking for a New York bottle opener…you’ll see.”

“Bottle opener?” Kurt asked.

Adam nodded. “It had an apple on it.  Their mother intervened…it was pokey.”

Kurt laughed.

“So…who will be here?”

“My mother and father, my grandparents, and two of three siblings and their families.  Ava is the only one who will not be able to make it.” Adam said.

“Ava is the one closest in age to you, right?” Kurt asked.

“Yes, she is taking classes during the winter break. She is two years younger than me.”

“Close to my age, then?”

Adam nodded. “Emily is four years older than me and she has three kids.  Twins, Piper and Philippa and  Thor.  Thor is about a year and half…and the twins turn four in January.  Her husband is Ashton. Paul is seven years older than me. He has Evelyn who is seven and Joselyn who is five.  They are from his first marriage.  His current wife is Pansy.  She brought with her Luke.  He is seven as well.  They have Briar, who is maybe 6 months…but I don’t think even that old…and they’ve been married three months.”

“Is Paul’s first wife in the picture?”

“No.  They were divorced when she died though…and the girls hadn’t even lived with her alone.  She died here in the states from a drug overdose.  She left Paul only a few months after Joselyn was born…just took off one day.  There is actually a wife between the girls’ mum and Pansy…but they didn’t have kids.”

“What do the kids like?”

“Evelyn loves to read. She asked for those American Girls books?  I don’t know what they are…”

“Historical fiction.  They have dolls, too.  They wear period clothing, sort of.”

“Anyway…she is fascinated with those.  Last I knew, all Joselyn liked was swords. I’ll have to ask my mum if her tastes have broadened. Luke hates everything. Piper and Philippa I have no idea about other than Philippa will only wear yellows and purples and black and jeans. Piper wears everything.  Not a clue about Thor…they were here last December but Thor was not even sitting up on his own yet.  He is no longer bald.  That I do know.  I’m not sure I’ve even seen more than one picture of Briar…and that was right after she was born. Pansy is high maintenance. Paul is just high strung…that one needs a real vacation. Ashton’s a bit of a snob and Emily is just….Emily.”

“What ever does that mean?”

“She would say that she is forgettable.  She isn’t very good at anything or very bad at anything.  She isn’t ugly or beautiful.  Just is just average in all she does.  Emily manages…she manages her family and mom and dad and the grandparents and clubs and community gatherings and parties and events.  And she organizes.  A bit like you in that area.  I bet she has her shopping nearly done as well.”

Kurt nodded and wrote down notes of everything Adam had told him.

“I suppose it is good that I have Black Friday between now and your family visiting.  Now…about your folks and grandparents…those might even be more important that your siblings and their kids.”

“My Nan is a bit…chipper. Much to chipper for her own good or anyone else’s really.  Da says she was always that way and people had just best get used to it and don’t ever make her cry because it breaks everyone’s hearts until she is cheery again.  She likes chocolate, but not American so don’t go with that.  She likes warm and soft and fizzy things and paints and scrapbooks in an elaborate fashion.   Pops likes gardening and has a small professional photography business.  He takes photos of people’s pets.  Rarely people.  My father is of course a barrister and plays in the symphony orchestra. Da likes darts and would like to go bowling while here and also try out laser tag.”

Kurt chuckled.

“My mum likes quilting and singing, but she does neither very well.  She is good at cooking and works at a local bakery. She wants to be that Duff cake guy when she grows up…her words not mine.  She is an avid reader and will read pretty much anything. Her father is a retired professor and taught anthropology.  He specialized in the Romans.  Her mother taught as well, in primary school to the littlest ones.  She likes Darts and is a card shark.  They go gambling at least twice a year somewhere and my grandmother almost always comes home with more than they went with.”

Kurt smiled.

“They sound nice.”

“They sound a wee bit nuts, because they are.  But they already adore you and will love you completely before they go home…and then drag you with us on next summer’s excursion. Mother wants to go to a rodeo…and all the grandparents want to see some of the more famous national parks. They’ve been saving for years and years.”

Kurt laughed.

“I’ve never been to any of them. It could be fun.”

“We’ll have to hike with youngsters and buy souvenirs.”

“We should see if my dad and Carole want to go to, if your family still likes me at the end of the two weeks.  He’s always wanted to go to Mount Rushmore and Yellowstone.”

Adam beamed. “That would be wonderful.”

“So…will you help me with the shopping for them?”

“Of course, love.  I actually adore shopping with you.”

Kurt beamed.  “Now, what do you want for Christmas?”

Adam laughed.

“You, and a stocking full of goodies just for us and a hide away to play with them for a week…but that will have to wait for after Christmas…so…all I want for Christmas is you.” Adam sang the last bit to Kurt.

Kurt groaned. “Cheesy, my dear heart.  Now you are getting socks and underwear.”

Adam pulled Kurt in for more kissing.  “Don’t care if I have you, too.  Is lunch done?  Or rather…can lunch be postponed until…oh…a few hours from now…after we have retired to the bed for playtime and then come back out?”

Kurt smiled.  “I was just making sandwiches and they can be put in the fridge.  Let me up and I’ll meet you in the bedroom.  We should have a more in depth discussion about what you’d like in your stocking after all.”

Adam released Kurt and watched as he sauntered to the kitchen.  He saved his paper and raced to the bedroom…he had a few examples of things he’d like in his stocking to find before Kurt joined him.

#glee fanfic #kadam #hummelholidays

[perditaalottachocolate-blog]

Maybugs Don’t Fly in June (7)

@ladrienjune 2018, Day 8: Secret meeting

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | art |  5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |

AO3 / fanfiction.net

Ladybug wasn’t sure what was real and what was a dream anymore. She resisted the urge to pinch herself, when Adrien carried her through the Parc de la Villette to the mysterious spot he had prepared. The heat of his body seeping through her suit told her, that this must have been reality, and not one of her pink bubbly fantasies. Though it was quite a feat to come to terms with reality of Adrien Agreste basically confessing his crush on her through ice cream, arranging a secret meeting in a park (that “date” term seemed more and more fitting) and then carrying her there, when she fell.

Hidden safely behind the mask Marinette found herself wondering if she’d ever be ready to accept this turn of events. She suspected that the boldness and ease she displayed so far were lent by her super alter ego and she expected to run out of suave any minute now, especially since Adrien made a few more remarks clearly indicating his interest. Internal meltdown was quite an accurate description of the pile of goo her civilian self turned into under the miraculous armor of Ladybug. A few moments of traveling in Adrien’s arms and chatting as if it was the most normal thing on Earth and she felt her grip on reality slowly slipping away.

The boy finally came to a halt in front of the big screen of outdoor cinema that usually ran in the park during summer, basked in the soft glow of nearby lanterns. It looked like it was half ready for the new season at Cinéma en Plein Air, but Adrien used what was already set up to organize a screening of his own. He invited her to one of the two deck chairs he had brought and started to uncover the heap of grey canvas behind them. Everything was there - a projector, loudspeakers and a computer they were plugged into. A picnic basket looking stuffed to the brim stood next to those devices. She could only gape mutedly at everything he’d prepared.

‘You set this up all by yourself?’ Ladybug finally found her voice when he passed her a bottle of rhubarb lemonade.

Adrien ducked his head. ‘Yeah,’ he pulled out a little folding table and started to unpack the basket. ‘I thought we could use the screen before the festival begins. You like it?’

‘Do you really need to ask?’ she raised her brows in disbelieve.

He smiled. ‘Of course my equipment is nowhere near as powerful as the projectors they use,’ he pointed his thumb to the back of the area, where a half built booth with the Plein Air festival banner stood, ‘but I thought it would be enough for the two of us.’

Ladybug wrapped herself in the blanket she had found on her deck chair and took a sip of her lemonade. ‘I think it’s brilliant,’ she admitted. ‘What are we going to watch?’

Adrien’s eyes lit up. ‘It’s your call, Ladybug,’ he said, pulling the computer to his lap. ‘I have a wide range of choices here, movies mostly, as I thought those would be most appropriate in the circumstances. See if you like anything,’ he suggested passing her the device.

She started browsing through his selection while he finished setting up the food on the table. She got to N when Adrien crouched next to her, close enough for their knees to brush lightly. Her treacherous heart sped up.

‘Found anything interesting?’ he asked, glancing up at her from under his lashes.

‘Y-yup,’ Ladybug did her best to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Her eyes landed on the title that was mentioned the evening before. ‘What do you think?’ she pointed to her choice.

Adrien’s smile widened. ‘I think it’s perfect,’ he chuckled taking the computer and plugging it back to the projector. ‘I knew you had good taste,’ he murmured appreciatively.

‘As I said, my parents love that movie,’ she felt first stings of blush sprinkling her cheeks. ‘I’m surprised you know it, though. It’s a shameless romcom after all.’

‘I watch a lot of things in English,’ he shrugged fiddling with cables. ‘It helps me learn the language and besides, this is a classic,’ he winked. ‘All set. Shall we start now?’

She nodded in reply reaching out for a plate. ‘Let me just take some of those and I’m ready,’ she giggled.

Adrien helped her get everything she wanted to try and returned to his chair just as Elvis Costello’s voice broke the evening silence.

She

May be the face I can't forget.

A trace of pleasure or regret

May be my treasure or the price I have to pay.~

She may be the mirror of my dreams.

A smile reflected in a stream

She may not be what she may seem

Inside her shell~

 Ladybug sank to the deck chair, absolutely enthralled with the evening. The breeze brought the scents of approaching summer and the chill of June night. The blanket was soft and smelled nice too. And the food was delicious. She didn’t even try to make it last longer, especially since Adrien seemed so content that she enjoyed the meal he’d planned.

When the plates and containers where empty he moved the table back and pulled his chair closer to hers, close enough for their elbows to touch, but neither of them withdrew their hands. Their little fingers traced patterns over the armrests, seemingly innocently, but they brushed against each other almost constantly. Marinette was stunned with how this little touch could be so electrifying, sending goosebumps all over her skin. She felt them crawling under her suit. The girl managed to keep the happy squeals inside, but it took too much effort to also gain control over her lips, so they were stretched in a dopey smile. If anyone would ask, she’d say it was because Hugh Grant and his colleagues were really funny.

After about an hour of tentative finger brushing Elvis Costello’s voice brought the film to its ending and the magic melted away. Adrien removed his hand to stand up and turn the projector off. Ladybug mourned briefly the loss of this sweet and delicate caress, that made her giddy with excitement and anxious with possible interpretations of it. She didn’t really have time to ponder on the revelations of the evening, when Adrien crouched next to her again.

‘Want to watch something else?’ he asked hopefully, his hand returning to the armrest right next to hers, close enough for her to feel its warmth.

She wasn’t stupid, but perfectly aware he was doing this on purpose, just like her. It wasn’t her imagination. All those subtle cues were there, little signs of affections, shy questions, invitations to take it further. And she almost would, right there and then. She almost reached for his hand and made it absolutely clear she liked him too. But a superhero should always listen to her head, not her heart. Ladybug made a decision.

‘It’s getting late. I should be going,’ she replied, keeping her tone gentle but firm. ‘Thank you for this. I had a really good time tonight,’ she stood up and he followed.

‘You’re welcome,’ the boy smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. ‘Anything for the brave heroine of Paris.’

Ladybug bowed slightly preparing to leave.

‘Can we meet again?’ Adrien blurted stopping her in her tracks.

"Notting Hill" is a very Ladrien movie. Fite me (ง •̀_•́)ง

#ladrienjune #ladrien #perdita writes #maybugs don't fly in june #day 8: secret meeting #ladybug #adrien agreste #date #ml fic

[maatikikhushboo]

2017 - My Take

So, finally, I am back on TUMBLR after an unreported absence for almost two months. Life had become so consuming: a couple of competitive exams which paved way for my admission into higher studies lasted for almost 3 months and many more important commitments which were just gulping down my whole time and attention. The result - my virtual life had to take a backseat for some time. I was terribly missing this platform and I am glad that ultimately I am able to make it. And I know, I know that I am terribly late for this post, but I had to write this post because 2017 needed a joyous farewell from my side.

I have been watching these shitty Hindi television shows for almost a decade now. Terming them as shitty, somehow, has not been able to terminate my viewership and to my astonishment they continue to be one of my sources of entertainment till date. Despite the availability of Cable TV, as a child, I had an antenna fixed at the terrace of my house. Doordarshan was the only channel which was a primary source of entertainment and infotainment as well. I used to watch Rangoli (which I still do), News, some couple of light hearted shows like Tu Tu Main Main, Shaktimaan, Bongo, crime & thrillers (Aap Beeti, Suraag), Mythology (Om Namah Shivaay), Surabhi, Subah Savere, etc. The channel provided me a whole package. Parents surveillance was not needed to watch TV at that times.

However, after some time, other channels were installed into my television set. We surfed through other options and then found reality shows, CID,KBC, Sa Re Ga Ma and many more shows like Yatra, Shararat, Karishma ka Karishma etc. (I am suffering from a super loss of memory right now, so please pardon me for not listing the shows by their timeline). Slowly, daily soaps came into picture starting from Kasauti Zindagi Kay and all the other stuff (Thank God that I can’t withstand dragging, otherwise I could have been a victim of those shows for years together). I never had patience to watch any of them for years together unless they were worth it. I would watch say only season one or two of a TV show.

As a teenager, I was a nerd and an introvert. However, that didn’t stop me from getting attracted to this fictional cobweb. I was oblivious of the nature of these fictional shows. Fictional shows are inspired from reality but they are not reality. I used to get so attached to the leads and their onscreen chemistry. The mini drama queen inside me used to live those characters and sometimes imagine myself in their shoes and weave stories in my head. If a show’s story didn’t go the way I imagined in my head, or say a couple I shipped didn’t end up in the story or real life, or a person playing a character was not like she really was, I used to get disappointed (LOL). Little did I know that all these were just fictional stints and ratings was the end game. Also, that the onscreen personalities were very much different from the off-screen personalities.

As I grew up, my outlook towards them changed. As a mature individual, I started regarding them as pure entertainment with no strings attached. Meanwhile this transformation, I was experimenting with historical and mythological shows. I found out that the trend was same even for that genres. Yet that didn’t stop me from watching them. It’s just that I stopped getting attached to them. They stopped affecting my real life. Me and my mom, used to discuss these things actively in the past. We both used to sit together and watch serials. Later, my mom realized that it’s useless to spend our valuable time for those shitty shows and now she rather prefers “Arnab shouting on Republic” to daily soaps. (Our past common list includes all the Imagine TV serials, some handpicked ones from Colors, Star, Zee, Sony, 9X, Star One, etc.)

Some would say that I am having a kind of addiction. Addiction is watching the same shows because you must even if the plot is stale, even if you have the option of changing the channel with the remote in your hand, yet you don’t. It becomes a daily routine. That is not the case with me. I only watch the stuff I like and make proper use of my remote! My friends wonder that why am I a sucker for these serials. The answer would be - The heart wants what it wants and my heart needs its dose of fictional shit. I know it would be so insensible of me to speak like this even after mentioning all the side effects about them myself in the above paragraphs of the same post. I love them! It’s not addiction. I guess it’s a manufacturing defect which developed this perennial disease called “eternal love for daily soaps(ELDS)”. I genuinely feel that apart from books, films, TV serials are the ones who perhaps have played a small yet important role in enhancing whatever creativity I have which my parents often deny. Today, I hardly get remote to watch my shows. They prefer channels like EPIC (which even I love watching), SAB TV, News channels, music channels and DD of course!  All thanks to the digital platforms that I catch up my shows *winks*

The bimaari of weaving stories in my head, interpreting characters, their reactions were the things that didn’t change till date. I was and I am greedy for these creative discussions and thus joined India Forums in 2013. Discussions were fun then because there was less reachability through social media. Then slowly, much to my dismay, the platform got filled with full of condescending people. People started taking “freedom of expression” too literally. Social media & Forums have become a place for open fandom wars. I agree that one can express their views openly there. They can appreciate or make fun of the couple or show (because one can’t keep that fictional stuff inside their heart for longer periods of time and that they need to let it out of their chests) without throwing personal insults or severely bashing actors or the creatives. Everyone has their own personal life and job to do. Actors and PH earn their money. But what we get from this biting sarcasm games is headache and irritation. Sometimes, when I see fans desperately asking the creatives, I see a younger version of me in them, who was deceived and dejected, a victim of rating business. That’s why I hardly reside there.

I badly needed a place apart from IF and SM where I could put forth my views openly. And, TADA ! I found that Tumblr was just tailor made for my needs. Thanks a ton, to my friends @cuckoldedbyddlj and @sitaaronkepaar for suggesting me to shift my den to TUMBLR.  2017, I hereby express immense gratitude for being so prolific. You have been so good that I could achieve many milestones in my life. I passed out as a graduate, successfully landed into a good job, scratched that job opportunity and decided to pursue higher studies, got addicted to Smule, watched some decent daily soaps like KRPKAB, got charmed by RiKara only to get detoxified of Ishqbaaaz from my system later, started making GIFs, started watching YUDKBH, and the list is endless. I would love to thank you for proving my stand right that shipping the female lead (protagonist) is always the best thing (Thank God that I never fan followed a male lead/the actor just because of his looks or attitude/character). Lastly, thank you for bringing TUMBLR into my life and giving me small mercies. Thanks to everyone who tolerates the stupid stuff posted on my blog and hits a note for my posts !!!

I wish that 2018 is supportive towards my new resolutions and makes my journey more beautiful. Happy New Year everyone (belated). 

Cheers, L !

#end of 2017 #gratitude #looking forward for a new sunshine #about me