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whatyourusherthinks · 23 days

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Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire Review

Yay more Godzilla!

Quick rundown on my thoughts of the Monsterverse: I haven't seen the 2005 King Kong movie but I don't know if that counts. I really don't like Godzilla (2014). Skull Island was much better, but had some structural problems. King of the Monsters is the best movie, and probably the second best Godzilla movie ever. (You all know which is the best.) And I watched Godzilla Vs Kong right before going to the theater to see this movie. It was pretty good.

Just like Saints and Sinners, I need to start with a full disclosure: I was somewhat intoxicated watching this movie. I can clearly remember what happened and comprehended the movie, which is why I'm still reviewing it, but I might be nicer than I would be sober. Probably not though, I think I've made it clear in my other reviews I love kaiju movies.

What's The Movie About?

Monarch (the scientists who watch over the giant monsters) receives a signal from Hollow Earth, and with an older Kong goes to investigate. Also Godzilla takes like 3 naps before turning pink and fighting Kong again.

What I Like.

This movie shifts a lot of the focus on the Kaiju characters, specifically Kong. And the physical performances are amazing. There are several scenes of just Kaiju communicating with facial expressions and mime, but you can still tell exactly what the movie is trying to convey and what the characters are thinking. I also didn't mind the human characters. All the humans in this movie (and in the last one thinking about it) are mostly one dimensional, but they have more entertaining personalities and interact in more fun ways. I didn't really like Bernie except when he and Trapper were flirting, but Brian Tyree Henry was really good. My favorite character was Jia, I love that they've kept a deaf character as one of the human leads. Not only that, but she's an adopted character in a happy family. I also liked her mom quite a bit. Anyway, I hope Jia continues to be in the movies. The Hollow Earth people were pretty cool, I liked how their civilization looked and all the crystal spears were cool as well. Of course, the action is awesome. Spoilers, but the finally is basically Godzilla Vs Kong but it's a doubles match and it's so awesome. Also, I joke about Godzilla being pink now, but the entire movie is super neon and colorful. And the Monsterverse should have been like this from the beginning, it's super fun. (Hem hem GODZILLA (2014).) The needle drops in the movie were weird, but I still really liked them. My manager said that the plot seems like it was written by a seven-year-old, and I agree. It's the bet thing about the movie. I'm not saying this to put the movie down! What I mean is it's quite imaginative with the worldbuilding until it randomly gets bored and decides everyone needs to fight a tree. Or that some giant monkeys need to punch each other. And I goddamn love it. Like Godzilla Minus One is obviously super amazing and a better movie in almost every regard to all of the Monsterverse movies, but it is nice to have a movie that just goes "Godzilla now fights a giant squid-crab" at the twenty minute mark for absolutely no reason.

What I Didn't Like.

I'm mixed on using conspiracy theories as world building. On one hand, the Hollow Earth is cool! But on the other, aren't you somewhat giving legitimacy to people who actually believe that stuff, which at best is lending credence to anti-intellectualism, at worst inadvertently supporting harmful ideas? The movie also clarifies that all Titans are supposed to be the same species, which I find to be really weird since about half of the titans look like lizards, a third look like bugs, and one of them is supposed to be the Loch Ness Monster. The movie also missed a great opportunity for a classic Godzilla callback but I won't say what it is because it's a spoiler.

Final Summation.

Just like all the other good Monsterverse movies, Godzilla X Kong is good fun! I'd say it's better than the last one but still not as good as King of the Monsters. I really like the new direction though, bright neon colors, ridiculous plots, and just plain cool moments loosely strung together is what these movies should have been from the beginning, frankly. Excited for more!

#Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire #Recommended Movies

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battybiologist · 4 months

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I went to see Wonka (2023) with exactly zero expectations of it being any good. I was pleasantly surprised. TL;DR: A good musical, a good kid's movie, not flawless, but very entertaining and sincere.

For starters, the characters are surprisingly endearing. Willy is nothing like the enigmatic and charismatic-yet-aloof bringer of wonderthat is Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, instead being a kind and eccentric visionnaire. The magician/showman aspect of this iteration makes sense, even if it is a quite large departure from his original character, and makes for a charming musical protagonist, and the new sad backstory is simple and tropey, but still capable of being moving.

He would not be a good Willy Wonka if he didn't have a downtrodden kid to wow with his colorful creations, and Noodle fills those shoes pretty well. The writers put their own spin on that archetype by making her a full-on foil to Wonka, contrasting his optimistic naïveté with her cynical savviness. Her big number, "For a Moment", about temporarily forgetting her sorrow after she meets her Manic Pixie Dream Business Partner, is also quite touching, and even tragic at one point, seeing how hardened she is because of her poor lot in life.

The Scrubbers are also neat. Not much to say about them, but I like them, especially Benz, because you know I love myself a gruff-yet-loveable no-nonsense woman. They all get their "where are they now" epilogue in the credits, and it was a neat touch that I'm glad was there.

The biggest surprise was Lofty, the Oompa Loompa in the movie. First of all, thank God they used the 1971 design, and thank God they removed the racism of the original book and 2005 movie. Lofty is a fun wildcard figure, not on Willy's side, but also not opposed to him. He's treated with a lot more dignity than I'd expected, being portrayed as competent, well spoken, and even condescending, while allowing him to be a funny little guy, and the result is nice.

Enough about characters, a musical without music is simply not a musical. The ambient music is quite good, but the real surprise was the numbers. I expected something like The Greatest Showman, where almost all the songs don't feel musical-y at all, but again, I was pleasantly surprised. You could not remove any song from the film without making it or the songs worse, which shouldn't feel as good as it does.

Special mention to the movie's showstopper, "You've Never Had Chocolate Like This" - I love its narrative structure, the staging is at its most inspired, taking advantages of the strengths of films (different shot angles, clean edits, more complex sets) while imparting the grandiosity of musical theatre, and the music is whimsical and catchy.

It really feels like the filmakers understood the assignment. The setting is a goofy and cartoony city where chocolate is as attractive as meth, as it should be for a kid's movie and a musical with such an eccentric premise, and the movie has a pretty good grasp of its pathos (again, shouldn't feel as good as it does, but here we are)

However, I do have quite a few hangups about the movie. For starters: the directing/staging is very much standard blockbuster musical fare well executed, the aesthetics are polished but incredibly safe, the overall plot is almost cookie-cutter, and I wish there were more practical effects (as always).

The villains are also quite lackluster. The priests are a little bit funny, the diet-Thénardiers are believably despicable, and Fickelgruber, Prodnose, and Slugworth, the three color-coded businessmen that run the Chocolate Cartel, are a fun reference to the original book, but they're not much more than that. Slugworth is the one that gets the most texture (notice I didn't say depth), but even then, he's far from a selling point. I appreciate the vaguely anti-rich sentiment, but when I, a noted Villain Song Enthusiast, find the villain song of the movie, "Sweet Tooth", boring, you've messed up.

Speaking of villains, the worst flaw of the movie is the police commisioner. He starts out as a relatively fun anti-villain, and you know I'm always down for a movie being even lightly anti-cop, but he gradually becomes nothing but a vehicule for very mean-spirited and fatphobic jokes, which is especially cruel considering none of the other chocolate addicts are treated the same way by the movie

(and also makes calling him a pig frustratingly conflicting for an anti-cop, anti-body shaming person such as myself).

To top off the negative criticisms, I don't get why this movie needed to be a Willy Wonka movie. I alluded to it earlier, but this Willy is hardly similar to any adaptation of Willy Wonka. Really, outside of a couple little winks and "Pure Imagination", the movie would be better as an entirely original story about a chocolatier-alchemical wizard trying to achieve his dreams.

But again, I know studios are very stupid about new ideas, because they want to paint all over them with an already established IP, so I'll instead be glad that talented filmmakers got the opportunity to make a fun movie with a bit of a misleading title

Since I've drifted back to praising the movie, I'll conclude this way too wordy opinion piece for a movie I probably wouldn't had bothered to see were I not invited by my friends with a practical recommendation: If you want your kid to see a great movie for their age that's entertaining and doesn't condescend to them, Wonka (2023) is a good recent pick.

#movie critique #wonka 2023

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28whitepeonies · 1 year

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Reading that made me realize how much my boyfriend ‚hates‘ woman, too. And it makes me sad.

Hi friend

Firstly I’m really sorry that the world we live in has been built the way it has and I’m sorry that it’s causing you hurt. I just want to start by saying that how you feel is very valid. I can’t offer much in the way of your boyfriend but I can offer some thoughts on how I exist in the hopes that might help you.

The thing about the 1D boys or the vast majority of men in general, and this will apply to your boyfriend too, is that misogyny is systemic. It’s built into the structures of everything around us, but like all forms of oppression, it does not have to be. Fighting it is a fight to make a better world and I think the it’s important to remind yourself that you’re not powerless, although as individuals our actions may not have a significant impact, there’s power in a collective.

And if I were to offer a piece of unsolicited advice, it would be that even beyond wanting to change the world, I have also probably found the greatest comfort in other women fighting for the same thing. There are different ways of finding that but I think there are two good places to start, the first is if you’re in a union - that in itself can be a good way to find likeminded people, but most branches will have a women’s rep and in my experience they will be a fountain of knowledge about local organising groups or book groups or radical knitting circles etc. The second requires a bit more time spent looking for yourself for what’s in your area, for instance there’s a little socialist book shop I have been going to for years that runs community events in my city and they do all sorts of stuff, or there are a couple of direct action groups focusing on women’s safety and buffer zones for abortion clinics - going along to meetings is a good way to work out what you want to get involved in and what you don’t.

I don’t have any other wise words to offer but I will share a couple of things that I have found a lot of comfort in and a couple of things that are a constant source of hope, because I think that matters a great deal. I’m going to put them under a cut before this gets too long!

This is a film about Ireland’s 8th Amendment and the fight for reproductive rights. There’s also a podcast called ‘How the yes was won’ if you’re a podcast fan.

If you haven’t seen ‘Made in Dagenham’ then I’d really recommend it. It’s about 187 women who worked for Ford as sewing machinists going on strike in 1968 over sexual discrimination. They predominately made car seat covers, and their strike brought Ford’s production to a halt. They won that fight and it resulted in better conditions for a far larger number of women than those 187 who walked out. The movie focuses a bit too much on pay and not enough on ford’s discriminatory practices in terms of conditions, grading of skilled work etc but it’s still a good place to start.

I’ve read two books recently that I would also recommend, the first is ‘Striking Women: Struggles and Strategies of South Asian Women Workers from Grunwick to Gate Gourmet’ which focuses on the stories of South Asian women organising and striking in Britain in 1976 and 2005.

The second is ‘Betraying Big Brother: The Feminist Awakening in China’ which starts with the stories of five women arrested in China in 2015 for their activism - the first section of the book tells each of their stories.

#I don’t know if this is at all helpful anon #reading it back #this is probably more than you wanted too so sorry if that’s the case x #but feel free to come back either way #sending love and solidarity #I started to recommend some wider stuff #where the patriarchy harms everyone so wider collective action is important #but this felt too long already #so I was quite strict about my recommendations #anon

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straightfacedstrangeness · 1 year

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Ideas for a less #Problematic Charlie & The Chocolate Factory

Inspired by thoughts about the differences between the book and two movies (dunno anything about the stage plays) and the current scandal about a publisher heavily revising Dahl's books.

Disclaimer that my feelings are mixed on the topic of revision without an author's consent and I won't go into that here. These are ideas that would apply to a hypothetical adaptation rather than changing the text of the original book. Mostly just having a bit of fun.

Oompa-Loompas: Once the thought occurred to me I was stunned that this hasn't come up in any of the adaptations (that I know of), but since they're already described as being improbably small, sing songs, and delight in the misfortune of others, they should probably just explicitly be Fey Folk rather than indigenous foreign humans smuggled to England in boxes. They come to Wonka asking for jobs rather than vice-versa, and they provide the practical know-how and/or magic to make Wonka's fantastical ideas real. Bonus meta-joke points if "Oompa-Loompa" isn't the name of their people but the acronym of their labor union.

The Kids: The story is structured as a moral tale where naughty children are punished, but as has been often criticized or joked about, a lot of the punishments seem disproportionate to their crime. So this section will take a lot of cues from the Tim Burton movie where the kids are more despicable and the parents' treatment of them is highlighted. For full moral tale impact, the kids learn a lesson and change from their experience, and Wonka as their judgmental god (or Charlie as Wonka's successor) rewards them for changing.

Augustus Gloop: Focus on his unhealthy diet rather than his size. His parents are too busy or lazy to cook and only feed him junk food and takeout. When they're leaving the factory, his parent insists that they go back and demand the lifetime supply of candy they were promised, but Augustus groans that he never wants to taste chocolate again. He's so traumatized by half-drowning in chocolate that he can't stand the taste of sugar and therefore can't eat anything his parents used to serve him. They're forced to take up cooking and find that they enjoy it since Augustus is such an appreciative audience. He grows up to be a cook himself and partners with Wonka to make a line of ultra-healthy candies.

Violet Beauregarde: Like the 2005 version, she's ultra-competitive with parents who push her to win at everything she does, reveling in the fame she gets. She insists on being the first into the factory, and she has the line (rather than her parent) about being the first person to eat a chewing-gum meal. When they leave the factory after her juicing, her parent is frustrated but remarks that at least she'll still have time to make it to one of her dozens of lessons/practices/rehearsals. Violet refuses, saying she feels "drained" and just wants to go home to take a nap. As Violet remains blue, the whole family finds they hate the unrelenting 24/7 attention from paparazzi and passersby taunting the blueberry girl who got kicked out of Wonka's factory. They stop seeking the spotlight and instead go into hiding. When Wonka develops a cure, he gives it to them along with the resources they need to live incognito far away, where they find they quite enjoy the quiet lifestyle of an unremarkable, ordinary family.

Veruca Salt: As in every version, a selfish entitled girl whose rich parents give her everything she wants. When they leave the factory covered in garbage Veruca berates her parent for letting her go after the squirrel, "if you REALLY loved me you'd have STOPPED me." Her shame and garbage chute trauma lead into a tantrum when she gets home where she can't stand the sight of any of the things she'd demanded from her parents and starts throwing them all away. Someone sees her do it, asks for something, and Veruca pushes it on them in disgust, but their gratitude makes Veruca realize she prefers being liked over being feared, and she grows to be incredibly generous. (She also convinces her parents to pay a settlement rather than fight the charges when they get into trouble for diverting their entire workforce to unwrapping candy bars for their daughter.) Wonka helps her set up a charity to provide for the less fortunate.

Mike Teavee: Emphasize that he's obsessed with TV to the exclusion of everything else. His parents neglect him, just plopping him in front of the TV instead of playing or talking with him, so he's completely sedentary and has no social skills. He rushes into Wonkavision not to experience teleportation, but to be inside his beloved TV. After the taffy-puller overstretches him to a ridiculous height, play off the book line about how basketball teams will want him and he gets recruited to one. This gets him out of the house and exercising and socializing, and taking him to games makes his parents more involved in his life. He appears in TV ads for Wonka taffy encouraging kids to go outside and play.

Etc: This part is more of a ramble than a pitch, haha. No particular thoughts on Wonka, Charlie, or the other Buckets since I find all interpretations interesting and valid:

Book Wonka as a grown-up kid looking for a kid who understands him (though the morality tale aspect emphasizes a "well-behaved" kid who won't get into trouble, and indicates an "obedient" kid who will follow Wonka's methods without questioning or altering them);

1970s Wonka as a lying trickster who's been betrayed and is looking for someone honest that he can trust, and who will trust him (Charlie taking the Wonkavision bar when asked VS Mike refusing to try since he's sure it's impossible);

2005 Wonka as an antisocial loner who learns to care about others through Charlie's love and empathy (aside from the obvious scenes of Charlie valuing his family, he's constantly asking Wonka questions about himself, caring about Wonka as a person rather than focusing on the factory like everyone else).

Apparently some stage versions have Wonka living in disguise as the candy man at Charlie's local shop, and deliberately slipping Charlie the Golden Ticket, which is interesting but definitely makes him more conniving and less whimsical VS the other versions leaving his search for an heir completely up to chance. Then again it's pretty conniving to announce the Golden Ticket competition and send your sales skyrocketing as the whole world searches for em, haha.

The 1970s version eliminating Charlie's father to put the pressure on Mom and Charlie to take care of the whole family, and to present Wonka as a replacement father figure, is dramatic and fun, and I also love the 2005 version's arc of Mr. Bucket being replaced by a robot at the toothpaste factory (toothpaste sales skyrocketing along with Wonka candy sales) only to be hired back to repair said robot, getting the family out of trouble without needing Wonka's help.

TL;DR I'm thinking too hard about Chocolate Factory and my only solid conclusions are that the kids could better deserve and be changed by their fates, and all Wonkas are valid

#long post #rambling #charlie and the chocolate factory

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britesparc · 11 months

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Weekend Top Ten #586

Top Ten Lego Games

Ah, Lego. It’s great. I love Lego. And it feels almost a natural fit for videogames; simple, freeform construction with regular polygonal shapes. Funny, then, that the most popular and successful Lego videogames are, essentially, third-person comedy-action adventures where the actual process of building Lego is an adjunct.

Yes, the series of games by Traveller’s Tales (aka TT Games) is long-running – nearly twenty years old, my goodness – and is something of a holy text in our house. Ever since the first game – the Revenge of the Sith tie-in Lego Star Wars: The Video Game in 2005 – I’ve been hooked. I remember playing that and being flabbergasted by how fun it was; how delightful the central gameplay hook was, and also how much daft humour it wrung out of the Star Wars licence. And, for the most part, things have only gotten better from there.

There’s something inherently innocent but also faintly ridiculous about Lego. As such, once you render a famous character as a minifig – whether it’s Darth Vader or Indiana Jones, Aragorn or Batman – it instantly feels like something of a parody. I think this allows the talented developers to lean into a franchise’s giddiness and silliness, to find the inherent absurdities that all long-running and popular storylines possess. And I’ll tell you what, they do it so well. One of the disappointing things for me with the Lego Batman Movie was how first-base and obvious its Batman-related jokes were; in three different Lego Batman games, they’ve always managed to get deep-cut nerd gaggery out there, and more nuanced and – frankly – funnier takes on the source material. These are games that are, on the one hand, surface-level comedy – slapstick pratfalls, animal antics, characters’ heads on the wrong way round – but also humorous love letters on behalf of fans, referencing obscure elements of history and one-off random bits of lore. The ability to unlock characters such as Bat-Cow, for instance; where the hell did that come from, other than an adoration of the more sublime aspects of a franchise?

Coupled with that is the core gameplay loop. The games are relatively easy if you don’t mind dying a lot; you can sort of just brute force your way to the end of a level. But there’s something so enjoyable about the way the combat works, right from the off; the satisfying sound effects of scenery exploding into a shower of Lego studs. And then there’s the many differing objectives; secrets to unlock, minikits to discover, perfections to attain, to say nothing of a great use of achievements (killing Jar Jar; having Human Torch and Captain America on the same team). Again, the love and care is evident.

And – and! – these are perfect games for playing with little kids. They’re forgiving, they’re fun, they work great in co-op, and they star a host of child-friendly characters dressed as Lego. It’s arguable, sadly, that the golden age of Lego games has passed; they managed to release a game every year from 2005 to 2019, but after last year’s Skywalker Saga it doesn’t look like there’s another game imminent. This is a shame, because the franchise is so good as “my first game”; a new generation of nippers deserves the pleasure of getting Jimmy Olsen to beat Steppenwolf to death on the moon.

(Fun fact: I don’t actually know if either Jimmy or Steppenwolf are playable characters in any of the DC-based games. But you can go to the moon)

Anyway, the series is terrific, and I hope it does continue. I’d like another Lego Marvel and Lego DC title; one that combined the expansive nature and improved combat of Skywalker Saga with the tighter level design and simpler structure of some of the earlier titles. And now that Hasbro and Lego have joined forces with the excellent Lego Optimus set, a Transformers themed title would be awesome. But really the most obvious franchise to get the Lego treatment is surely Star Trek; sixty years of stories, multiple different casts, a plethora of costumes, and a host of inorganic sets and locations that lend themselves to simple Lego-esque shapes. Come on, you know you want to!

Lego Marvel Super Heroes (2013): the platonic ideal of TT’s Lego games. The Marvel cast lends itself not only to the collectible character-fest of Lego games; but their colourful depictions and – generally speaking – moderate power set means it doesn’t stray too far from the template established by Star Wars. The central hub of New York – a Marvel mainstay – perfectly threads the needle between pseudo-realistic open world city and quirky, funny, Lego town. But the missions themselves remain discrete and focused, recognisable as core “levels” and distinct from the hub city with its side-quests and secrets. It may be showing its age a little but it still has all the elements in the best possible order.

Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga (2022): returning to the origins of the franchise is a good move, and the already bulging Star Wars cast is further bolstered with characters from the newer films and shows. The open galaxy structure of the game is expansive and mostly very rewarding; it’s great fun to jet off from Tatooine to Hoth and run around collecting stuff. Gameplay and graphics improvements are very welcome, but there is a slightly wonky nature to a lot of the missions, which blur too much into the open-world gameplay and often too simplistic or repetitive. Marrying the open galaxy approach with more discrete and separate missions could have made it the best Lego yet.

Lego Batman 3: Beyond Gotham (2014): the DC universe is just as jam-packed with fun and colourful characters as Marvel, even if the often extensive powersets of, say, Superman and Wonder Woman don’t translate quite as neatly to the formula as Iron Man and Captain America. Despite all that, we still have a tremendous game with really strong missions and a host of different smaller hub worlds spread across the planets of the DC Universe. It’s fun to find secrets like a cow on the moon, and locations such as the Justice League Watchtower or the Batcave are incredibly well designed. Plus the secrets and nods to the comics are probably the best in the series’ history.

Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy (2006): back to basics and the early days of the franchise here, but there’s something so pure and well-executed that it can’t be ignored. After the first Lego Star Wars, detailing the prequels, we went back to the classic trilogy and every aspect was refined. Controls and cameras tightened, graphics improved, missions more focused, and – it has to be said – better source material. The Mos Eisley Cantina hub is wonderful, becoming increasingly populated with characters as you unlock more and more. Yes, its structure feels simplistic nowadays, but perhaps this simplicity is also a strength.

Lego Dimensions (2015): a bold and daring experiment in the short-lived “toys to life” genre, one seemingly made for Lego. Outside of the amusing and entertaining (and, er, expensive) gimmick of being able to “connect” real Lego kits and characters to the game, it’s still a really cool journey through the Lego multiverse, as your mismatched team (including Gandalf, Batman, and Wyldstyle) bump into characters from properties as diverse as Ghostbusters and The Wizard of Oz. Sprawling and perhaps a tiny bit unfocused (its multiple worlds and modes can be confusing for kids), it earns so many points for the gag where The Doctor will regenerate into a different incarnation every time he dies.

Lego Marvel Super Heroes 2 (2017): the sequel to the greatest Lego game of all time does a lot of things right, but this is – I feel – where a bit of the bloat and confusion starts to creep in. by opening up the Marvel multiverse (a year before Spider-Verse came out, predating the whole multiverse boom!) we get some cool variants of classic characters and it does a good job showcasing the likes of Spider-Gwen and Squirrel Girl. But the open world, featuring a mishmash of alternate New Yorks (News York?) just isn’t as fun, and the divide between the casual exploration of the hubs and the individual missions is blurred. It’s just messier, basically.

Lego Batman: The Videogame (2008): like with Star Wars, we go back to basics for this fantastic entry. Shorn of the structure of adapting the Star Wars trilogies, this is an original story that skews Adam West in its levity but is pleasingly Animated Series in its aesthetic. Without quite so many hero characters to choose from, the use of alternate suits for Batman and Robin is inspired, creating a very satisfying puzzle element. And, of course, the Rogue’s Gallery is ideal for a game like this, especially with the nice hook that you get to play levels from the bad guys’ perspective too.

Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures (2008): often maligned, I really liked this, and it’s one of the very (very) few games I’ve ever 100%-ed. Whilst the Indy characters aren’t as varied or colourful as others, the level design and gameplay mechanics made it feel more like an old-school action adventure as you pick up tools to solve puzzles along the way. It adapts the films’ set-pieces really well and the university hub is well-realised and full of secrets. Plus you get to be a Lego Sean Connery, what more do you want?

Lego Lord of the Rings (2012): one of the first Lego games to have a true open world about it, as you set off from the Shire on the adventure. Again we see the use of tools and different characters’ abilities as you progress, even if the roster is inevitably less varied or dynamic than with, say, Marvel. But the subject matter does suit the gameplay very well, and of course there’s a quirky sense of humour to Jackson’s films making the game’s silly jokes marry quite well. Feels like a good bridge between the more simplistically structured early games and the expansive open worlds of later years.

Lego Star Wars: The Video Game (2005): going back to where it all began with the very first Lego game, and one that genuinely blew me away. Seriously, I was surprised at just how good this was, because, well, who expected it? But TT were onto something right from the start. Yes, it’s very similar in structure to later, better games – especially it’s direct sequel. Yes, you could argue that both games can be sampled in the Complete Saga compilation. But there’s still loads to enjoy here. And yes, as should be obvious, I’ve not played one of the Harry Potter games. I’ve heard they’re pretty good though.

#top ten #games #videogames #lego #tt games #travellers tales #star wars #marvel #mcu #dc #indiana jones #lord of the rings

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phantomato · 3 years

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Five Tom Riddle Crossover Fics to Read

Tom Riddle is a difficult character to ship. For those of us who want to see pairings beyond the Big Two (Tomarry and Tomione), canonical options peter out relatively quickly. Sure, we can invent our own pairings by fleshing out side characters, but sometimes, the itch is best scratched by borrowing from another canon.

And it makes sense for Tom more than nearly anyone else in HP. Tom was born into an era that is the subject of so much literature, so it’s easy to find another person kicking around postwar Europe if that’s your goal. He’s an archetypal character, the villain seeking immortality, and can be matched against other villains with the same aims. Hell, even his quest to recover lost artifacts turns into the basis for two of these works—Tom Riddle has the perfect combination of a recognizable context and character model, plus the ambiguity of his canon timeline, to slot him alongside so many other fictional figures.

I want to pause on some of these themes for a second. Immortality or relationship to age, for one, is something that comes up in three of these pairings: the Darkling and Koschei the Deathless are both immortal characters in their own canons, and Edmund Pevensie is not immortal but has aged and de-aged repeatedly in his travels to and from Narnia. The HP series doesn’t give us nearly this wealth of different perspectives on age and immortality, which is fair—HP makes it clear that immortality is unnatural and undesirable, and Flamel is notably a ‘good person’ because of his willingness to accept his own death—but for a character as obsessed with the idea as Tom, some emotions can only be explored when you match him with another character who has a complicated relationship to aging. Even someone like Indiana Jones, not immortal and not trying to be, has an interesting perspective to bring to a story because he has seen so many other quests for power gone terribly awry.

Of course, the other thing we get from crossover pairings is the ability to match Tom with a villainous character. And whether you’re a fan of conflict at the start of a relationship or not, I think there’s something to be found in putting two villains together: moral arguments, when they exist, are rarely about whether death is necessary but about what kinds of death are best used when; the entire concept of either a redemption arc or a breaking bad arc can be thrown out a window. It’s a space wherein our two villains are allowed to be themselves, and the reveal of the extent of each character’s villainy becomes a strange form of celebration. This is challenging to achieve if one sticks to HP canon alone, whereas crossovers are a fruitful space.

My selection methodology was to read every crossover fic with a clear focus on Tom Riddle or Voldemort on AO3. I found crossover pairings by visiting the meta pages for the Tom Riddle, Voldemort, and Tom Riddle | Voldemort tags—I may have missed some pairings for Tom Riddle, as the character has over 300 child relationship tags and AO3 cuts off at 300 displayed. If you know of any ships I missed and should check out, do tell! I’ll also make a note here that one of these fics is my own—if self-recs bother you, skip Bluebird.

The following five fics are ordered by wordcount. Let me know what you think!

Neurotic Virtuosi, by skazka

Crossover: Hannibal Rising (movie version). The wizarding world exists, and Tom and Hannibal encounter each other in non-magical Eastern Europe.

Summary: Tom and Hannibal ride the same train when Tom is hunting down the diadem. Tom shares an apple and thinks about keeping Hannibal.

Mature, <1k, Graphic Torture Fantasies

Why?: This is one of those pairings that I wouldn’t have thought to do when the characters were both young, but it’s so much better for that choice! The length of this fic means we only get a taste of their interactions, but what a taste it is. Tom’s internal fantasies are horrifying and described in a very erotic way, which fits both characters.

This also serves as an interesting vision of what Tom might have experienced during his world tour to find the diadem, a period we rarely get to see. I particularly like that the author chose to write it as frustrating and mostly fruitless; a Tom who is stymied and unsuccessful is a particular weakness of mine.

Two Sides of the Same Coin, by Anonymous

Crossover: Chronicles of Narnia. Both Hogwarts and Narnia are real, and the characters meet in Britain. The magic isn’t the same, but there’s mutual recognition.

Summary: Tom tries to use sex to seduce secrets out of Edmund. Edmund sees something reminiscent of his younger self, the version of him who could join the White Witch, in Tom Riddle.

Explicit, 2k

Why?: Edmund and Tom are a pairing made in crossover heaven, both boys of a similar age born into war in the same country and whose discoveries of magical worlds help them escape it. Both lust for power and make poor choices; Edmund canonically recovers and finds redemption from his actions, and Tom does not.

This fic wears the hat of something pure smut, starting in the middle of a sex scene and tagged with top/bottom roles, etc., and it is that and does that well. But give it a shot for Edmund’s reflection at the end, his hopeful musings that he can apply the lessons learned from Aslan to help Tom before Tom’s utterly lost. It’s a crossover ship with unbelievable potential for both characters, and this fic makes me want so much more.

Shedding Skin, by electric_typewriter

Crossover: Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente. Both the wizarding world and the magic of Deathless exist.

Summary: Tom meets Koschei before splitting his soul. They keep meeting, and Tom keeps attempting to match Koschei’s immortality.

Not Rated, 2k

Why?: Immortality via relocation or storage of souls is an idea that easily predates Harry Potter as a series, and seeing two different versions of the some core idea interacting with one another is precisely what crossovers exist to enable. Koschei as an immortal being that found his immortality in a way he considers superior is a fascinating concept, because it creates a power imbalance between them that leaves Tom always running to catch up. And Tom, poor Tom, feels like a desperate man, finding sensation only when he’s around Koschei and feeling nothing at any other time.

This reads a bit like you’re dissociating. The author uses descriptive language to keep the reader a little distant from the grounded reality of the events happening, which has the effect of keeping you focused on the metaphysical question of what it means to have part of a soul.

Bluebird, by Phantomato

Crossover: Shadow and Bone. S&B summoning powers instead of HP magic, set in the real world, with characters’ histories preserved.

Summary: Tom is the second sun summoner to exist, born long after the first gave up her powers and lived out her natural life. He tracks down the Darkling, the shadow summoner who never really died.

Explicit, 17k

Why?: Tom is an immortal being for at least part of his life, and his character arc is about pursuit of immortality, but he is fundamentally a young immortal, and is killed before he can graduate to old immortality. Aleksander, the Darkling, is canonically an old immortal, and his character arc is about the burden of living with the knowledge that you will likely always be alone. That loneliness sets the scene for the relationship between Tom and Aleksander, driving Aleksander’s behavior—he fundamentally believes he will always be alone, even an immortal like Tom passes through his life.

There is a high proportion of smut in this, serving in place of the emotional honesty that neither character can muster, and I recommend it for that. But the story also relies on investment in quiet everyday moments shared between the characters. It’s a fic told through behavior because both men are so cautious around one another, where they nevertheless manage to find sympathy for the other.

Riddles of the Dead, by Maeglin_Yedi

Crossover: Indiana Jones. Blends together the wizarding world and the mysticism present in Indiana Jones films.

Summary: Tom Riddle hires an expert archaeologist and gentleman adventurer, Dr. Indiana Jones, to help him pursue an artifact that might grant him immortality. There’s fucking, fighting, magic, snakes, and some difficult choices in store for our leading men.

Explicit, 18k, Angst

Why?: Maeglin Yedi has been a mainstay of the Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort ficspace for nearly two decades, but an old crossover like this can unfortunately slip through the cracks. It shouldn’t! With an original publishing date in early 2005, this predates the concept of horcruxes, the knowledge of Tom’s early years at Wool’s orphanage, and, well, so much of what we would eventually learn about Tom Riddle as a person. It’s a testament to the author that the story manages to capture Tom’s character in such a way that he’s still fully recognizable to a current-day reader, despite working with so much less canon.

This fic is fun. It’s an adventure, featuring hazards and traps and assassination attempts that you would expect from an Indiana Jones film, but the magic and mystery never overwhelms the relationship at the core of this story. It’s set up beautifully, with a mirrored structure between the front and back halves of the fic that foreshadows the inevitable end of the story. Watching older, confident Indy seduce young, hungry Tom is a delight. One (possible) mark of a great Tom-centric fic, imo, is to be able to portray Tom enjoying the exchange of power, giving it to someone as well as taking it from them, and this Tom is able to revel in giving up some perceived power as he practices being vulnerable with Indy. The romance is quite sweet, especially considering that ‘angst’ tag at the top of the fic!

#tom riddle #tomato fic rec

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mermaidsirennikita · 3 years

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The most common criticisms I see are jumping around in the timeline and it doesn't feel true/it isn't accurate to the book. I think this book has been done so much that you have to do something different with it to "justify" another adaptation. Also how successful the structure of the movie is down to a matter of taste? It's pretty subjective honestly. As for the book, again it's already been done a bunch of times and the purists will never be happy (very simmilar disscusion around this and P&P 2005 actually) but nobody feels super out of character (except for Bhaer maybe) plus they do cover a lot of the books so.

I personally found the jumping around in the timeline very emotionally impactful, and I think that was kind of what Greta was going for. Less of a straightforward adaptation (which would have been hard to justify) and more of a character piece about this family. The contrast between Jo coming downstairs after seeing Beth's bed empty to find her well, against Jo coming downstairs after seeing Beth's bed empty to find her mother sobbing... oof.

I also think LW is a book that is HIGHLY dependent on your interpretation. You could see Meg as getting an HEA with her family, or you could see Meg as settling. You could see Amy as a bitch, or you could see Amy as a girl trying to find her identity through more traditional means, while dealing with the pressures that come with being a "traditional" woman in an era full of upheaval. You could see Jo and Laurie as "twin flames"~ and the ones who got away from each other, or you could see them as two incompatible people who were better as friends. (I.... never saw Jo as being truly romantically interested in Laurie, and I think the 2019 version nailed her complex feelings for him and how much of it was based in confusion. I ship Jo and Bhaer, but I think a strong argument could be made for Jo being gay and not quite realizing it, and if an adaptation wanted to do its own thing and go with that I'd support it.).

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the beats of the book were largely hit pretty accurately, but I think that a lot of people got distracted by like... The dressing of it. The visuals weren't married to the time period, the structure was non-linear, and a lot of the beats people had come to expect from LW were subverted in some ways--even in giving the other sisters more time to shine, rather than making it a Jo Fest, which the other adaptations tend to do imo.

I have a lot of complicated feelings about Jo. I think she's a well-written character and I can see why she has captured the imagination of many. I really don't have any issues with Jo as a character. I think fan interpretations of her are where we run into issues, and she's one of those characters where a lot of fanon has gotten confused for canon. Like, if you listened to a significant amount of LW readers, you'd think Jo was pining for Laurie and then he chose her sister and she settled for a marriage of convenience. Which.... isn't what happens with the plot lol. Jo's a lot less tragic! I think a lot of people overidentify with her and project on to her, and I think that's also part of what makes the 2019 version controversial. I think it kind of nails some of the aspects of Jo that don't line up to fan interpretation, and it lets the other girls shine a bit more--especially Amy, who is hated by a lot of Jo stans to this day and carries a lot of the the things that fans often associate with Jo. Pining for Laurie, having him snapped up by her sister (or so she thinks)... that's Amy. And there was really no fucking around in the 2019 version--Amy and Laurie's story was positioned as one of the main romantic arcs in the movie, not Jo and Laurie. That's one of the main controversies surrounding the book, and the fact that 2019 took a pretty strong stance on it made a lot of people upset, at least from what I saw at the time.

#little women

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dr-nero-is-god · 3 years

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i felt the urge to riff on the hive streams for a little bit since discussion came up on the hive discord, namely, holding issue with the idea that the alpha stream is inconsistent in that it is about leadership when otto is the only leader, and that it’s also possible that the alphas are just kids with specialized skills, and not actually bonded by any particular unifying element.

and, in response, @vulpix-sinistre brought up a quote from the abridged hive fanfic, that goes something like: “there are four streams: main characters, stereotypical bullies, ?, and nerds.”

and i disagree with the first two ideas, but almost completely agree with the abridged fic quote. that is pretty much how the streams work, and it is IMPORTANT that that is how the streams work.

in the end, you may conclude that the streams system still doesn’t make sense. you won’t be like “well clearly dr. nero was just logically dividing the labor of his students to reflect a specialized training program” because it’s more complicated on that. i hate to do this to y’all, but a lot of everything streams-related requires an out-of-book explanation to get where you’re going, but i can promise that i will at least try to go

first, let’s think about why h.i.v.e. would have streams at all

on the one hand, it’s inescapable to consider that one primary reason that hive has streams is because harry potter had houses, and for the same reason that percy jackson had cabins, the 39 clues had branches, hunger games had sections (or counties, idk), divergent had factions, and so on and so on. the rise of fandom spaces on the internet was concurrent with a big ya/mg boom in the post-2005 world (after twilight was published), and within those fandom spaces it became important to identify with an aspect of the fantasy world as part of your personality. that became a very marketable thing for a while, and so separating children into streams would, to a publisher, seem like a pretty solid storytelling choice.

however! the alpha stream is not the same as gryffindor house. on the one hand, it seems easy to make an alpha/gryffindor and henchman/slytherin parallel, because one group is good (relatively) and one is bad (or at least antagonistic). but it doesn’t work because while slytherin has a reputation for constituents of poor moral character (which has been largely revised in fanon), being a henchman is where you go, according to the books, if you are unintelligent and burly. it’s not a really sexy stream, is what i’m trying to say. and though there are undoubtedly some readers who would look at the henchman stream and see themselves, i think the majority of readers would likely find the henchman stream a completely undesirable stream to be in.

and, given how little importance the role of streams have after the first book, i will go out on a limb and say that mark walden knows that the henchman stream is unsexy. we aren’t interested in the hopes and dreams and motivations of the henchman stream; as we learn in book two, the ideal henchman is weak-minded and easily led—so what dreams would they even have? this leads me to conclude that while mark walden might have sold h.i.v.e. on the “there are personality-based groups in the school!” idea, he had something completely else in mind when he started writing and that, I think, is actually far more interesting.

but really, why would h.i.v.e. have streams at all

a few things about mark walden: 1) he studied english lit in school, 2) he has a background as a video game producers, and 3) he likes james bond. i know the first two things because i have read his bio and i know the third thing because i have read his books in conjunction with seeing all the james bond films. so we will call 1-3 facts.

if you are wondering what a lit degree, video game production, and the james bond franchise all have in common, then let me connect those dots: all three of those things depend heavily on the study and understanding of repetitive structure in storytelling as an interpreter and creator of meaning. each one of these fields requires an understanding of how stories and words work to create meaning in order to be successful.

and, to quote mr. walden here directly (sourced from this here link):

“So, I was playing with this cat one day and it got me thinking that those old-school Bond villains always just seemed to appear out of thin air with very little back story and that got me thinking about how they became world- conquering megalomaniacs in the first place. It was only a short mental walk from there to HIVE.”

so, imagine you’re a writer trying to tell a story about a school for villains like those in james bond—you’ve studied storycraft and you have a lot of experience in a job finding believable and compelling obstacles for people to interact with in video games. you have noticed patterns. and you need to make those patterns work for you.

enter: streams

i have watched all the james bond movies (all of ‘em) (i mean it) (just not the unreleased one yet lol) and you know what?

there’s probably just about four kinds of villains in those movies.

henchmen include the likes of jaws, oddjob, and tee hee. often physically disabled in a cinematically interesting way, these guys are the muscles and the machines in every bond film. they are the ones who tail bond as he takes long train rides and who try to personally throw him into shark tanks. they are the hands and feet of their evil masters and they don’t have a lot of emotional depth or backstory.

politicians/financiers abound in the james bond franchise because he is a government employee who often hangs out with other government employees (he has no friends). these people are like colonel rosa klebb, georgi koskov, prince kamal khan. there are a lot more, as a matter of fact, because the whole point of james bond is that they are in the cold war and even people without titles have political and financial motivations for screwing around with stuff. these types of villains depend on being well and truly embedded in an existing infrastructure or hierarchy, somebody who worked their way up from being a foot soldier or clerk into a powerful leadership position that gives them a lot of state-sanctioned trust and authority.

technicians and inventors include folks like henry gupta and boris grishenko, who use technology as their primary weapon. they are often inventors or innovators and are really good at making high-tech stuff. however, i think this stream is also a direct result of the character Q, someone who is actually on James Bond’s team and who runs an entire department of people who test sometimes outlandish gadgets for Bond to use in the field. (but we love the gadgets. they are fun.) in other words, Bond arguably has a technical stream at his disposal in MI6, which means the idea isn’t necessarily evil, but, likewise, our James Bond School also needs Qs. it’s the rules. if you are familiar with Q from James Bond at all then you understand

and that leaves us with alphas... the “supervillains.” these are the famous ones. dr. no. mr. big. scaramanga. le chiffre. blofeld. max zorin. emilio largo. goldfinger. these are the ones with the master plan, the dreams to recreate the world as they see it, the passion to see their desires to fulfillment and the resources to make them happen. they are rich. they are fancy. they are larger than life. is it weird that karl stromberg tries to incite a nuclear war between Britain and the USSR so that a lot of people can die so that he can colonize the ocean? yes. but by god, it’s fancy and dramatic, and that’s what counts.

are there other kinds of villains? oh, definitely. lots more. but you have to understand, that those kinds of villains generally don’t appear in Bond. sometimes! but it’s not a staple. for example, not many people in the bond films are motivated by revenge because each movie is kind of designed to function as a one-shot. villains don’t come back and so there is no revenge. the villain who gets the most notable reprise, jaws, actually ends up finding his true love in space.

compare: every movie is going to have henchmen. every movie has government stooges making morally questionable decisions. (almost) every movie has Q, or some gadget stuff going on. and every movie has a big bad that has to be better than the last.

so that explains why the streams are what they are.

it was a jumping-off point for mark walden to figure out what this universe might look like and how different character types need to function. consider that while the core four are all alphas and are kind of insulated as a group, the teachers all kind of roughly align with one of these groups. colonel francisco, raven, and chief lewis are henchmen types, doing on-the-ground work to get stuff done. ms. tennenbaum and the contessa are political af, they are all about the corruption and infiltrating institutional power. ms. gonzales, ms. leon, and professor pike all have technical skills that help keep an organization moving forward. and over them all is the singular alpha, dr. nero, who is coordinating and monitoring it all for his own evil plan: to run a high school.

honestly, dr. nero’s hive idea operates just like a james bond villain plot! it works, or it does when pitching the idea. the problem is that the books continued after the pitch did, and with worldbuilding came some complications. namely, the fact that the megastructure of james bond villainy does not replicate well into a small friend group on which the narration focuses. so let’s return to the question presented at the beginning:

how can alphas really be alphas when not everyone on the field trip can be a mastermind?

i’m gonna give this to you in two ways. one, the way i personally interpret it as an in-universe explanation, given the background premises we have already established. and the other, why the stream system kind of ruins the structure it sets out to create.

so, for me, the alphas can be alphas because there is more to villainy than being a mastermind and there is more to being a mastermind than being in charge. as i think about it, this novelization is actually the backstory for every one of the students, who will go on to do great and scary things. they will manage big projects and come up with interesting ways to terrorize the British government, because that is what James Bond villains do (and James Bond does canonically exist in their universe). much like your actual teenage years, this is not the main event.

as students, the core four need to learn to do a little bit of everything. you gotta learn some lock-picking, that’s essential. everyone has to be able to climb a rock wall. it’s the rules. and everyone needs to be able to do some programming. that’s just the way school is. though everyone has a different personality and a different way of looking at the world, their education has to cover the basics because the fact of the matter is, none of them are villains yet. will they become one? that remains to be seen. but they are being given the tools to become the greatest villains if that is something they choose.

the main problem that remains when holding this attitude is that the specialized skills of otto and his friends might be better suited to other streams, in which case, what is an alpha anyways?

here’s the facts: if everyone were assigned to a stream by talent, then there wouldn’t be an alpha stream.

franz? political/financial stream.

nigel? laura? otto? technical stream.

shelby? wing? henchman stream.

you can debate me on the specifics of those assignments, but the point is this: all the other streams are based on hard skills. franz can manage a ledger and that is a financial skill. laura can build a computer from scratch and that is a technical skill. wing can do martial arts, and each martial art is a physical skill that can be taught and performed in a measurable level of proficiency.

the idea of being a “mastermind” is a much softer skill—which is to say, there’s no one recipe that will make it work. my manager at work has coached me by saying that leadership is often about having a “style,” and working at it that way. leadership requires interpersonal flexibility, being able to stay organized and to make important decisions rapidly, it is about being able to prioritize and delegate. and it’s very much open to interpretation, every day, all the time.

let me tell you something else about james bond: there is a lot of classism, racism, and sexism embedded into every aspect of those films, but that goes for double when it comes to the villains in the show. to vastly oversimplify that very concept, it shows up in the bond films like this: henchmen are working class folks, the villainous equivalent of “the help,” and the supervillains are (usually) rich and glamorous and powerful. henchmen are uneducated (read as: stupid) and ugly and poor. no one cares if they die. (there’s more complexities, as always, but this essay isn’t actually about james bond so we’ll fast forward through My Opinions to the end)

the problem with replicating james bond in your villain school universe is that some of the biases of the james bond universe get replicated in there, too. poor and uneducated folks get turned into disposable henchmen whose lives are irrelevant. people who are educated and talented get fast-tracked to a more glamorous and interesting stream that will catapult them to the top of the ladder as soon as they graduate. if you look at the dialect with which block and tackle are written, they are clearly meant to be seen as a different social class than otto, despite the fact that otto is coming from basically nothing. and we understand that when otto graduates, he will be able to do basically anything that he wants to at all.

so, if you’re asking why wing has a role in the alpha stream when he doesn’t seem as leader-y as otto, there’s a simple answer: because dr. nero believes that wing can be more.

the climax of book one is dr. nero explicitly telling otto, wing, laura, and shelby that they are in his school because he believes in them and he wants to see them grow. they are given an elite status other students do not have despite the fact that they have just literally tried to escape. as we see in the case of duncan cavendish, the main way to get on that highway to a guaranteed career is to convince him that you’ve “got it.” for those who are not believed in, there is no way to make up for the special grooming. you’re stuck with the stream you’re placed in, doomed (perhaps) to be a second-in-command at best.

is all this intentional? probably not. but it is implicit in the structure of the story and, alas, that’s the way it is.

all i can think to say in conclusion is that while the stream system tends to replicate some of the unfair and classist realities present in other media and the world we live in, i think part of the reason we read h.i.v.e. is because the alpha stream is so appealing. imagine! you are competent and you have a desirable, specialized skill as well as a proficiency in many general skills and you are certain you are going to do good things—and all because someone believes in you. to receive someone else’s support and confidence can be life-changing. the magic of h.i.v.e. is that yes—lives are changed and ordinary, boring people were elevated to the level of supervillains. we are only left to wonder, are they the only people who deserved that honor?

#meta #spoilers #streams #alpha #henchman #political/financial #technical stream #technical #james bond #hive #h.i.v.e.#higher institute of villainous education #the higher institute of villainous education #otto malpense #max nero #streams post #musings

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rialynne · 4 years

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Little Women Review

I’m feeling incredibly motivated to do this so here we go. To set it up, yes I read little women as a kid and I saw the 1994 version years ago prior to my first viewing. I watched the 1933 and 1949 versions and the 1994 version again before the second viewing.

TLDR: Go watch this Movie I love it, imma buy this blu ray. To me despite structural changes this is the definitive movie adaptation of Little Women.

So initial personal reasons why I’ve always enjoyed this story is that it takes place in Mass; my cousins live in Concord, I grew up in New England and they definitely filmed in New England cause certain scenes. We still have old style buildings around like they have in the film and the landscape, especially for scenes in the fall were absolutely beautiful. Marmee even name drops my home state at one point so shout out there.

Greta Gerwig did an absolutely fantastic job with the adapted screenplay of this movie and I am quite the fan of her decision to split up the structure of the novel and create more flash back sequences to emphasize different events that took place and how that impacted characters. I think the decision to film with a yellow warm tone in the past compared with a blue, cool tone in the adulthood scenes was a smart move as a visual way to explicitly indicate which timeline we are in. The fashion of the ladies and the hairstyles definitely did help with the timeline as well. I also love how they designed the girls hair style and clothing when they were younger to have a piece of Marmee’s style with them to signify a piece of Marmee is in each of her daughters. I also really loved the way that scenes played out, how they were shot, how when a bunch of them where showing conversations that could happen in real life. The dynamics of the march sisters remind me of my own family and there are a few scenes where there was like multiple conversations going on at once and I loved that. Also I love the sound track its on par with the 2005 Pride & Prejudice soundtrack.

For the more minor roles:

Meryl Streep did her thing as Aunt March and was quite hilarious, I loved how she was like no kisses plz and her whole you need to marry wealthy and I didn’t get married cause I’m rich bit. Mr. Lawrence has a beautiful character arc especially with Beth. He did so well with that small role and he really made you feel for the loss of his daughter. John Brook was the sweet respectful man for his wife. Friedrich Bhaer was good as well. Not as many scenes of him as I was previously expecting but I bought the connection he and Jo had and he definitely proved to be an intellectual match for him.

Laura Dern was an excellent Marmee. She really brought the presence that she was the giving, calming presence for all her daughters, especially for Jo. I absolutely love the conversations she had with Jo about her always being angry and for talking to Jo about her not really being in love with Laurie. I felt like that conversation is a really important lesson for everyone to determine if they want to marry someone, to make sure they do marry some one cause they do truly love them and not cause they want to be loved. Mr. Dashwood, the new york city publisher was also a great addition to this story in terms of representing the way publishers were back in the day.

I loved how connected they made all the March sisters feel. They really did make them all feel like one unit in their younger years, that it hurt much more when they are older when their apart. I really Loved watching Jo especially interact with all her sisters and seeing how the dynamics changed over the years. With Meg she relates to her being the oldest siblings and the scene where they talk about their different goals in life right before Meg gets married. Its a lovely scene indicating not one’s goals in life are better than another persons goals. I Love how she cares so much for Beth and looks out for her. The dynamics of Jo and Amy’s relationship was fascinating to watch cause it reminded me a lot of me and my sister and how we bickered a lot, but still deeply care for one another, and eventually were able to respect one another.

I knew going into this movie that Saoirse Ronan was going to kill it as Jo, and she flipping delivered. I love her portrayal as Jo where she is not as too much as the 1933 and 1949 portrayals and yet was very ambitious and likable, very similar to the 1994 portrayal from Winona Ryder. I loved her speech with Marmee about how great women are and how she doesn’t have a life goal to get married but how she is very lonely. That hit hard. Her negotiating for her royalties to her book was a great addition to the end of the story. I feel as if she plays a certain type of character in her movies, but she does it sooo well and in a way that no one else can do justice for it. The relationship between Jo and Amy and Jo and Laurie were great to watch. Amy and Jo are so similar besides a few key differences, and those differences help make their tension believable and turns them into remarkable characters.

I love the take on Beth in this adaptation. They still play her as a sweet and caring individual, one that ultimately leads to her getting sick and dying, but they give her a little more quirky traits and have her say some funny one liners. She has a lot of subtle moments with Jo and Amy especially that makes their reactions to her death feel so real. Emma Watson did a much better job than i expected and gave a surprising amount of depth to Meg. I did really enjoy the sub plot of her buying that fabric for a dress. $50 back then was like close to $1000, and really does show her struggle with wanting to have nice things once in a while. Her speech to Jo about her desires to be a wife and a mother is beautiful. Meg I feel is a difficult role to play due to her calm presence and lack of a super extroverted like personality and Emma made it her own.

Timothee Chalamet is a fantastic Laurie. He did well in balancing Laurie’s immature and lazy side to him while making him endearing. Seeing his love for the March family grow over time was beautiful. His relationship with Jo and Amy were awesome. With Jo, they are a great example of a platonic friendship, especially from when this book was published. I really loved the rejected proposal on the hill. You can see Jo still resisting adulthood still from her sister’s wedding, even when Laurie proposes I think she sees that as the end of childhood for her. Along with that she never had an interest to get married and expresses that she doesn’t love him like that and why they wouldn’t make a good match. The argument doesn’t feel like unrequited love but more like two best friends having a disagreement. His scenes with Amy also highlight his path to adulthood and him learning about love in the process.

AMY MARCH FINALLY GOT HER DUE! About damn time she did. Amy is my favorite character from this adaptation and is the one that surprised me the most. Lord FLORENCE PUGH needs to get a damn nomination because she was fucking amazing. For me she was able to convincingly play a young and adult Amy so well. Amy is a woman who knows what she wants in life and is very determined to get them and work within the current societal circumstances she is in. She is able to push her ego aside to get what she wants. She is so cheeky and energetic when she is younger but becomes more refined and tactful when older. Her burning Jo’s book did indicate her jealousy of her sister and the immaturity of her emotions that over time she has a grip on more as an adult. Her relationship with Aunt March indicates the idea and pressure she has to take care of the rest of her family. When she has her economic proposition speech, you really see how this is adding so much pressure on her, pressure that does influence her choices and behavior later on.

But, my absolute favorite part about Amy’s development over the movie was her relationship with Laurie. I’m so happy Greta really took the time to flush out this relationship. I really love these two together. They are both a really great example of love that evolves over time. The little tid bits in the past with the small moments of Amy and her small crush over Laurie: THE FOOT MOLD, the way young Amy looks at Laurie, her drawing of him at the beach while flirting with Fred Vaughn, talking about how hot he is as a half Italian. All of that was perfection. Everything in Paris with these too was also sooo fantastic. I love it that prim and proper 20 year old lady Amy turns into a kid again when she sees Laurie and just jumping and hugging him, and then Laurie is all like you’re beautiful. when she invites him to the ball and he kisses Aunt March. Her being all like “its Laurie!” and looking back at him with that damn smile, the things that make my heart melt. With Amy and Laurie knowing each other for so long, Amy is able to be real with him and call him out throughout their time in Paris, mainly at the ball when his drunken fuckboi ass waltz in. Also The PAINTING ROOM, lawrd. Amy still shitting on Laurie for his behavior, their conversation about love, Amy’s speech on economic proposition, THE UNBUTTONING OF THE PAINTING SMOCK (that absolutely rivals the Pride & Prejudice 2005 hand touch in terms of sexual tension), Amy being able to be her true self around Laurie, Laurie telling Amy “You look beautiful...you are beautiful” (SWOOON). Then when they at the park: Amy scolding him for being lazy and not taking charge and being responsible, Amy drawing him again and showing him the older picture, Laurie telling Amy not to marry Fred “don’t marry him. Why? you know why.”, Amy realizing what hes implying and being all like Naw don’t you dare fam I’ve always been second to Jo “I won��t do it. Not when I have spent my entire life loving you.”. Laurie finally grew a pair and went off to London to make something of himself and Amy turning down Fred’s proposal realizing she wants to marry for love. Them reuniting in Paris after Beth dies, and being alike i wont let you travel alone even if you despise me, which Amy says she doesn’t despise him. And she states she aint marrying Fred and then rambles on and LAURIE KISSES HER GOD BLESS HE DO LOVE HER. and wow. Their love story is one of the most satisfying love story arcs I’ve seen in a long time.

Any ways that’s my long ass Review of Little Women 2019. GO watch it in theaters if you can. I will buy it and stream it when it comes out of theaters. This is the definitive adaptation for me and I think it will hold up well as an amazing period drama for years to come.

#little women #little women 2019 #jo march #amy x laurie #amy march #laurie #theodore lawrence #beth march #marmee #meg march #movie review

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nazghoulz · 4 years

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The Definitive Ranking of Richard Armitage’s Acting Roles, Rated Exclusively by How Hot I Find Him In Screengrabs

Richard Armitage. As a diehard Thorin Oakenshield fan I certainly have a complicated relationship with him, mainly because I can never decide if I find him inherently hot or not. On the one hand, I’m a hardcore Thorinfucker. On the other hand my gay ass sees a headshot of Mr. Armitage and I’m just like, “Oh, no thank you.” So in order to set myself to rights, I have gone through Mr. Armitage’s IMDB and done a definitive ranking of all his 44 screen roles on there, based completely and arbitrarily on how hot I find him in screenshots. (Thank you to all the hardcore Armitage Fuckers who keep wordpress blogs with screengrabs of his various cameos and bit parts; my respect for you cannot be put into words.) I haven’t seen like 90% of these properties, and I didn’t bother to research them, so these are mainly just gut first impressions. I hope this helps anyone else out there who as confused by him as I am. Enjoy ?

44. Father Quart in The Seville Communion/The Man From Rome (2020) — ??/10

I don’t think this movie is out yet? Idk I haven’t been able to find any stills of him, let alone much information about the movie itself. It’s listed on his IMDB though! And apparently he’s playing a priest...which could be extremely 👁️👁️ if done correctly.

43. Unnamed Naboo Fighter Pilot in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) — 1/10

OH SWEETIE NO!!!!! This physically pains me to say this, because I unironically love this terrible movie with my whole heart, but unlike a yung Kiera Knightley’s role (pictured front and center) as Padmé’s loyal body double Sabé, this is probably a cameo that we would all like to forget about. The only thing Richard has to offer is this unfortunate turtle-faced realness. This helmet does him no favors.

42. Man in Pub in Boon (1992) — 2/10

As far as I know this is Richard’s first acting credit on IMDB, and he for sure is working the background extra energy. Go on girl give us nothing! He does have a decent backside though, and it’s better than looking at unfortunate turtle face, so I give this one a 2.

41. Paul Andrews in Between the Sheets (2003) — 2/10

I can’t really articulate why, but I absolutely despise every screenshot I see of Richard Armitage in this role. He is completely unhot, and not even in a way I can laugh at. He takes no advantage of his assets, he has no charisma, no magnetism, no nothing. This is Richard Armitage at his most white bread rando, in a way that makes me actively dislike him. Pbbbbttth. Bad. Throw this whole thing away.

40. Craig Parker in Casualty (2001) — 2/10

I don’t know, it’s like the perfect storm of the gelled 2001 hair, the terrible quarter? eighth? zip sweater, and overall, er, skeezy vibes that he gives off that makes him particularly unhot in this role. Perhaps not as reprehensible as Unhot Paul, but still. I think the sheer boringness of this has to count for something. Blech.

39. Dr. Tom Steele in Doctors (2001) — 2.5/10

He honestly looks like a villain in an early season of Alias, which... well. Quentin Tarantino was cast as a bit-part villain in Alias season one, so take that as you will. But at least he’s compelling here, which is why he gets half a point over Unhot Paul.

38. Steven in Frozen (2005) — 3/10

Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends! Also short haircuts do nothing for you, Richard. Styled like this, they just serve to make you look sort of like a sleaze.

37. Peter Macduff in ShakespeaRe-Told (2005) — 3/10

He honestly looks like he could be a guest star in Friends in this one, where he’s a guy named Jason who Ross meets in Central Perk where they find they have a lot in common. Ross introduces Jason to Monica and they really hit it off, but it all comes crashing down because while Jason is sensitive and writes poetry, he also thinks that the Earth is flat. The rest of the episode is trying to get rid of Jason while he becomes increasingly obsessed with Monica, and Ross cannot quite let go trying to prove to Jason that the world is round. Anyway. Macduff Flat Earth Jason isn’t quite as unhot as Unhot Paul, but he’s pretty much on the same level as Tired Steven.

36. Phillip Durrant in Marple (2007) — 3/10

Something about him in this image really makes me want to punch him in the face. It’s huge Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3 energy.

35. Young Claude Monet in The Impressionists (2006) — 3.5/10

I’M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND IS !!! CARNIVAL BARKER !!!!! STEP RIGHT UP TO SEE THE WORST GOATEE IN HISTORY !!! I was actually going to give Yung Claude a 2 but the more I look at this terrible beard the more impressed I am with the boldness of this look, so I had to bump it up to 3.5. Idk. Just look at this. It’s incredible, especially knowing what kind of beard Armitage can grow himself !!!!!!!!

34. Heinz Kruger in Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) — 3.5/10

This is definitely the best looking he’s been so far in this list, but he’s a Nazi in this one, which makes him unsexy on principle. But do I feel a little something when he gets pinned to the ground by jacked Chris Evans with the above look on his face right before he swallows his cyanide pill? Can neither confirm nor deny. They are also truly playing into his inherently sinister bone structure, so I can respect that.

33. Percy Courtney in Miss Marie Lloyd (2007) — 4/10

Even including Yung Claude and Nazi Heinz, I think Nothing Percy is probably the weakest of Richard’s period looks, mostly because he looks like, well, nothing. He certainly doesn’t pull off that top hat like he does in North and South, and the secret to that might be the lack of sideburns. In this one he just sort of reminds me of the asshole fiance in Titanic.

32. Philip Turner in The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (2005) — 4/10

He’s really giving off bargain bin Hugh Jackman as Wolverine vibes here, if Logan’s energy was more “murderer in a Hallmark channel mystery” than “superhero.” Though, given what sort of show this is, that may be the point! Idk, this isn’t the worst. At least he has a decent haircut in this one. Still, I feel absolutely nothing when I look at him. He’s simply royalty-free stock music given human form.

31. Dr. Alec Track in The Golden Hour (2005) — 4.5/10

I could see how this conceivably be sexy in this role, but to be honest, he’s still nothing to me, sorry. He gets some extra points because he obviously worked out for this role and the hard nips through a white undershirt is a commendable look. I whole-heartedly respect Doctor Alec’s thottitude.

30. Daryl in Staged (1999) — 4.5/10

Speaking of thottitude!!!!! This is one cream-faced business boy that I can certainly get into! He looks like the love interest in a pre-Hayes code homoerotic thriller from the early 1930s. I’m sure that’s just because of the lighting and general staging of this production, but hm... demure. Love it.

29. Capt. Ian Macalwain in Ultimate Force (2003) — 4.5/10

Well, he looks like a character from M*A*S*H but with no charisma, or like an extra in The Great Escape who snitches on Steve McQueen to the Nazis. Also in half the pictures I find of him from this he’s wearing this terrible beret, which I know he can pull off because of a role that ranks much higher on this list. Whoever styles this man really needs to pay attention to what sort of headgear they put on him.

28. Epiphanes in Cleopatra (1999) — 5/10

Speaking of headgear, you know what?? He doesn’t look awful here. A solid 5, perfectly acceptable. I think the helmet does a lot to accentuate the sharpness of his face in this extremely bit part, though the eyeliner definitely also helps as well.

27. John Mulligan in Moving On (2009) — 5/10

Mr. Armitage’s characters can really have potential when a production’s stylist allows him to wear scruff (IN A WAY THAT LOOKS NATURAL, LOOKING AT YOU YUNG CLAUDE). However, as it is with John Mulligan in Moving On here, he just sort of looks like a rando? They’re not playing into the inherent angularity of his face, which for me makes it sort of confusing regarding what sort of emotion I’m supposed to feel while looking at him. As it is, I’m just like, “Yup, that sure is a regular human man, right there.”

26. Smug Man at Party in This Year’s Love (1999) — 5/10

This is the face of a man who less smug and is more DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND !!!! Idk. He’s cute here, I’ll admit. That’s all I have to say about it.

25. John Standring in Sparkhouse (2002) — 5.5/10

I enjoy the bold choice of giving him wavy hair in this one, but I’m not sure he quite pulls it off. It doesn’t look bad, per se, just... he looks completely nonthreatening. Which I guess could be someone’s thing, but not mine. He honestly looks like a knock-off Will Graham, sans dogs and trauma.

24. Gary in Into the Storm (2014) — 5.5/10

I think the thing that really gets me is that this character’s name is Gary. Who on God’s green Earth looks at Richard Armitage and goes, “Ah yes, you do look like a Gary” ??? I don’t think I know of a single non-American Gary, especially since the name Gary only got popularized after Gary Cooper renamed himself after his hometown of Gary, Indiana!!!! It wasn’t really a name for human men before that!!!! I want to live in the alternate universe where Frank Cooper was originally from Albuquerque and named himself Albuquerque Cooper and this character is named as such. Gary. Really.

23. King Oleron in Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) — 5.5/10

I truly hate how much his facial expressions in these stills remind me of Thorin, considering how bad he looks otherwise. Like his face his fine, I guess, especially since this is the first instance of his full beard. I’m charmed despite myself! Take me to wonderland, O King.

22. Adam Price in The Stranger (2020) — 5.5/10

For as compelling as people call this series, Richard here isn’t very much so imo. But despite my utter lack of interest, he doesn’t look bad per se. He just sort of has that stubbly white man blandness that colors a lot of his more recent roles. Like, at least his bad mid-2000′s styling had character. This is just the visual representation of a vague handwave.

21. Harry Kennedy in The Vicar of Dibley (2006) — 6/10

Gosh... floppy hair, cute sweaters... he also seems to be smiling a lot in this one, which is nice! The only thing I have to complain about is that he looks very much like if Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman circa Kate and Leopold had a baby, which may not necessarily be too much of a bad thing, but I can’t unsee it.

20. Sgt. John Porter in Strike Back (2010) — 6/10

Ah, back to poorly suited haircuts. At least he’s a little bit gritter and grimier than we’ve seen so far, and I will say Richard Armitage does look good covered in dirt, as we will see later on. Also he’s got biceps in this one, which, hell yeah.

19. Ricky Deeming in Inspector George Gently (2007) — 6/10

I’M HAVING THE HARDEST TIME RIGHT NOW RANKING THIS ONE BC OF THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE WHITE SCARF-RIDING LEATHERS COMBO!!! WHICH ABSOLUTE GENIUS DECIDED THIS!!!! EVERY SCREENSHOT OF HIM IN HIS EPISODE HAS THIS!!! Part of me just wants to give Stylish Ricky a big fat 10 because I’m gay and adore the sheer audacity of this look, but I still have to be fair and rank his overall aura accordingly. I think he’s a handsome extremely gay-coded motorcycle lad in this one, but he doesn’t exactly rev my engine, so to speak.

18. Lucas North in Spooks (2008) — 6/10

The tattoos really spice this one up. Luke could have been plagued by the problems inherent in Regular Mulligan’s Moving On styling, but this guy has an edge to him. He has a good haircut and 5′ o’clock shadow, which is something I’ve figured out is integral to Armitage Hotness. I feel like if I got to know this character I could possibly find him sexy.

17. Raymond de Merville in Pilgrimage (2017) — 6.5/10

Speaking of bad haircuts, this one is his undoing. This is almost the perfect balance between full beard and short haircut, which is the only way a short haircut works on this man, but they ruined it with this one! They gave him a bad bowl fade, which completely undoes any inherent sexiness that comes with being a knight. Not even the fact that he’s covered in dirt can turn me on at this point, ugh. Guy of Gisbourne he is not!!!

16. Tom Calahan in Brain on Fire (2016) — 6.5/10

Oh hell yes, WELCUM 2 DA DILF ZONE!!! I’m not super duper thrilled with the looks I’ve seen from this movie, but he seems scruffy and comfy in a way that is slightly refreshing for ol’ Richard. This is certainly the best of his normie looks so far. I’m just sad it took them 24 years to figure out how to style him properly for sympathetic roles in a contemporary setting.

15. James in My Zoe (2019) — 6.5/10

It’s another DILF look, slightly edgier than Comfy Tom but none of that sexy tired energy that we’ll see from Ocean’s 8. I don’t know !! Jimmy here doesn’t exactly thrill me, I think I prefer Tom’s flannels to this sharp bomber jacket/white t shirt combo seen here. Oh well! I am extremely 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 that he can just casually palm that soccer ball like that.

14. John Thornton in North & South (2004) — 7/10

Alright. I’m sorry. I just don’t find him that hot in this role. Like yeah, he’s got the scruff and the sideburns that work to his advantage, and the setting does make this character inherently sexy, but in some screenshots he screams too much of an aforementioned Kate and Leopold (the best Meg Ryan movie, imo) era Hugh Jackman to me. And if I was particularly into that, I would just watch Kate and Leopold again. I will admit, however, that this rating could be subject to change if I actually took the time to watch this show.

13. Chop in Urban and the Shed Crew (2015) — 7/10

...I’M??? INTO IT??? He’s dirty and scruffy but also has kind eyes.... I feel like this is knock off Will Graham who has blossomed into his own. His run down, grime-covered own. He’s back edging into Bradley Cooper territory, but somehow it works for him in this one. Like, I’m 89% sure it’s the DILF vibes I’ve been getting from the other screengrabs I’ve seen of this role, and this particular flavor of DILF is way sexier than Jimmy or Comfy Tom.

12. Francis Dolarhyde in Hannibal (2015) — 7/10

His Caesar cut doesn’t bother me quite so much in this, probably because he is pretty explicitly playing a villain in a series that doesn’t have any basis in reality. A villain who is ripped, and who can effortlessly throw real Will Graham around. Armitage uses his inherent sinisterness to great effect as the Red Dragon, which is good actually! I think a lot of how hot he is in any particular role really depends on whether the styling allows him to play to his strengths...idk! I’m not usually a huge fan of clean shaven Armitage, but it works for Frank here.

11. Daniel Miller in Berlin Station (2016) — 7/10

As much as I adore this particular look (beard + fade + green army jacket), I have to compromise and give Danny a 7/10 because it seems like the first season they styled him in usual stubbly white man blandness. I’d say screengrabs from s1 are a solid 6, while this might be an 8, so the average is a 7. That’s all I have to say about this!

10. Claude Becker in Ocean’s 8 (2018) — 7.5/10

!!!!! I love him in this role, I about had a conniption in the theater because I absolutely was not expecting him!! He looks perfectly ruffled and scruffy, edgier than either Comfy Tom or Jimmy, which I’m very into. That plus his two borzois (objectively the best looking dogs on the planet) really put Old Claude over the top for me. Thank you, thank you Hollywood stylists for finally figuring out what to do with him for roles as a Normal Man.

9. Richard Hall in The Lodge (2019) — 7.5/10

I don’t know anything about this movie, but it seems pretty spooky, which I’m into. I think Richard is well suited for this sort of horror/thriller role, where his angular features can play into the overall vibe rather than some hapless stylist trying to work around them. He looks like another cozy DILF here but with a bite to him, like someone who would do anything to protect his brood. I mean, he’s teaching this child to shoot! But idk, he also has the potential for Jack Nicholson in The Shining energy, which I also could be....hm... into. Idk. Is this on Netflix??

8. Lee in Cold Feet (2003) — 7.5/10

FUN!!! FLIRTY!!!! OTTER VIBES!!!!! I LOVE THIS, he seems so goofy here, and Armitage doesn’t usually pull off goofy that well! I’ve giggled at literally every screenshot I could find from the four episodes he was in this show, he seems like a real himbo. I’m a huge fan, even if it comes at the cost of dehydration abs.

7. William Chatford in Malice Aforethought (2005) — 7.5/10

Hoo hoo HOO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just because I’ve been watching the new season of The Alienist and the new dark and gritty HBO reboot of Perry Mason back to back, but sue me, I love the bold choice they made with giving him a pencil moustache here. He looks like a hot Howard Hughes; if cream-faced business boy Daryl from Staged is the young ingenue in the pre-Hayes Code thriller I cast him in, Bill here is the sexy antagonist. I desperately want to hear a perfect Transatlantic accent coming out out of that mouth. This look fucks and I’m sticking to that no matter what.

6. Trevor Belmont in Castlevania (2017) — 8/10

Ah, yes, speaking of king himbos... do me a favor and look me right in the eye and tell me that you wouldn’t fuck Trevor Belmont. You can’t, can you?????? At least 80% of Richard Armitage’s inherent hotness stems from his voice, and you can’t tell me there isn’t anything sexier than thinking about letting that guy loose in a recording studio and letting him say fuck. Look, Trevor may be drawn that way, but it’s the absolute stupidity coming out of his mouth in that sweet baritone that makes me want to be raw-dogged by 100% pure Romanian beef.

5. Dr. Scott White in Sleepwalker (2017) — 8/10

Much like I had intimated when talking about Hot Danny in Berlin Station, this is Peak contemporary normie Richard Armitage styling. I honestly think The Hobbit either awakened something in him, or casting directors finally figured out he looks way good with a full beard. His crew cut even works with his whole look, which is a miracle!!!! I think he should be contractually obligated to have a full beard in all of his future roles, but that’s just me.

4. Guy of Gisbourne in Robin Hood (2006) — 8.5/10

I honestly can’t believe I’m ranking Guy so far up here, but honestly, THIS RULES!!!!!! THIS FUCKS!!!!!!!!! Which is incredible due to Guy’s lack of beard, but I’m weirdly okay with it? Like sure, he looks like he’d probably call me a slur in front of his shitty friends, but he also looks like he could tenderly pound me into the mattress in a way that would have me questioning my commitment to the “no emotions” clause of our clandestine no-strings-attached sex agreement. Anyway. Guy of Gisbourne if you see this im free thursday night. please message me back if you’re free thursday night when i am fr

3. Angus in Macbeth (1999) — 8.5/10

HHHNGHGNHNGHGN HE’S SO HOT.....!!! HE’S SO HOT!!!!! Leather jacket!!! Scruff!! Dirt!!!! Flattering beret!!!!! He’s so hot, and the worst part about this is that this was filmed in NINETEEN NINETY NINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Which means we could have always had this, had stylists and makeup artists PLAYED TO HIS STRENGTHS!!!!! He’s so hot I’m getting legitimately angry. Without scruff and dirt this man is nothing. N o t h i n g.

2. John Proctor in The Crucible (2014) — 9/10

Look, I know I have a type. But... this guy is just so hot, Daniel Day Lewis please step aside!!!! Contemporary theater historians describe John Proctor as a “strong beast of a man,” and... hhhHHOOOGH HELL YEAH!!! HELL !!!! YEAH !!!!! Like, his dick got almost his entire Puritan village, including himself, accused of witchcraft and like, looking at this guy, I kind of get it. I would probably go to war over the raw animal beauty of this horrible dirty, greasy man. Sue me, I confess. I saw Goody Osburn with the devil.

1. Thorin II Oakenshield in The Hobbit Trilogy — 9.5/10

Come on. You knew it was going to be this guy. Look at my icon for christ’s sake. I am completely biased, I cannot look at his pictures objectively. Anyway. Thank you so much for reading, this was a very stupid list.

#rene rambles #this is the worst thing ive ever done tbh #richard armitage

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maybesimon · 3 years

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no time to die

i watched no time to die, thanks dad for buying movie tickets :D

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i like daniel craig as james bond, i don't know, i just think he's charismatic. he's also old, but like, charming.

i think its appropriate that it's basically finally addressed in-text that touching bond is a surefire way to die or at least suffer (as a woman but also as a male fellow agent). i don't know how many bond-girls found a miserable end, but i bet its a lot. so this movie was like 'oh okay lets make that text then'.

rami malek <3

scene where lucyfer whatever (dumb name, it's the guy that malek plays), has the girl and they talk, that was pretty good. more of that shit (as always with me).

terrible opsec and infosec at super-secret government lab and mi6, but what else is new. Q should surely know better than to get a usb-stick (but handwavey justification, shush its fine)

what a way to end this bond. not really sure how i feel about it (what makes this bond-girl better/more deserving, whatever, than the other ones, to like, die for). but i think it was pretty nice if we just look at this movie

i was expecting him to die (no mr bond...), but then i was like 'nooo but he can also retire for real this time and go be a stay-at-home dad for the kid', and i was really rooting for that. but then the stuff with the poison virus... and to have Q (canon-gay, btw), have to be the one to tell him that, no, there's no way to remove the virus and touch the one he loves... auch. written pre-covid.

well i like that they had the balls to do it.

also just a funny movie, lots of funny moments.

also the bit where he knows which buttons to push in the bunker, he just has high Interfacing bowtie or whatever.

the girl didn't get her stuffed rabbit back :( or her dad

convenient virus kills quickly. i got that they waited a bit and did not release it online in end 2020, quite a sore topic.

new 007, not changing anything structurally but having a black female 007, feels more 2005 than 2021, but film is conservative so like, nice try, whatever. it's still british imperialism.

although i do think its nice that the virus came from mi6. i dont think the supervillain was necessary, james should've just dismantled the whole secret service.

the people at the theatre were less polite than in dune - some people were even looking on their phones for a bit. quite distracting. but still i love movie theaters, its nice to sit in the dark with no phone for 2 hours.

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dizzydennis · 4 years

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10 Great Contemporary Japanese Films

I am a huge fan of Japanese cinema and would like to gush about 10 films that I think are outstanding!

Nana (2005) – A simple story about growing into adulthood and the hardships of following your dreams. This is one of my absolute favorite movies as it feels so inspiring and emotional. The music produced for this film by Nakashima Mika and Ito Yuna is nothing short of incredible. It’s an emotional ride that totally pays off!

Cheer Dan (2017) – This fantastic film balances comedy and drama extremely well. It’s a bit quirky, but endlessly fun. Hirose Suzu and Nakajo Ayami do an amazing job as young girls finding their passions for their futures. It’s an emotionally charged ride that kept me invested and in tears by the end!

Ajin (2017) – Action and lots of it! The plot is rather simple, but this film acts as a rollercoaster ride unlike any other. The choreography and ideas on displayed are thrilling and the film leaves me with goosebumps. Satoh Takeru and Ayano Go elevate this thrill ride and it also has some great music.

Manbiki Kazoku / Shoplifters (2018) – This is a movie that leaves you thinking. Beautifully shot, methodically paced, and intriguing beyond compare. The moral choices and social commentary left in this film are nuggets of genius that should not be forgotten soon after viewing. Truly incredible.

Kamera wo Tomeru Na! / One Cut of the Dead (2017) – A brilliant film that has more to it than it lets on. What seems like a zombie movie with a single shot gimmick unfolds into so much more. One of the most charming and well executed movies like this… I just wish I could explain why it’s so good without ruining the film.

Rurouni Kenshin Trilogy (2012, 2014) – If ever there was a manga adaptation to film that you needed to see, this is it. The action is breathtaking, the production values are extremely high, the respect to the manga is undeniable, and the casting is near perfect. I am shocked how well all three films turned out and the fact that two more should be coming in 2020 speaks to how well done these movies have been.

Sandome no Satsujin / The Third Murder (2017) – Simply put, this film is a slow burn that basks in its beautiful cinematography and structure. The plot is not focused on the murder, but more so the people involved with the trial. It’s a film that leads you along with the lawyers and has you thinking long after the credits roll. Some of the most beautiful and poignant visual symbolism I have seen in a film like this.

GANTZ / GANTZ: Perfect Answer (2010, 2011) – The GANTZ movies are not perfect films. I am not going to pretend that they are. However, they are magnificently fun. Dopey action mixed with fun sci-fi and performances. The production values are pretty good and the kinetic energy of the film shouldn’t be lost. It has flaws, but still definitely two films that landed on their feet in many ways.

Gyakuten Saiban / Ace Attorney (2012) – A video game adaptation that captures the spirit and fun of the games. Admittedly there are a few missteps in how it was adapted, but it still hits the right chords and should provide a good mix of laughs and emotional strains. Narimiya Hiroki was perfectly cast as Phoenix Wright.

Chihayafuru: Kami no Ku / Chihayafuru: Shimo no Ku (2016) – Another manga adaptation that just absolutely nailed it. Perfect casting, perfect emotional stakes, and perfect cinematography makes this one of the best adaptations of a manga to film ever. It’s an absolute inspiration for the medium with laughs to be had and tears to be shed.

Bonus:

The Machine Girl (2008) – This movie is shlock. Utter shlock. However, it’s also intensely entertaining. A hilarious English dub, low budget, wacky action, and gallons of blood. This movie is a blast! Strangely, the voice cast from Sonic the Hedgehog all contribute to the English dub as they voice a family of deranged killers.

#japanese film #Japanese cinema #manga #rurouni kenshin #ace attorney #one cut of the dead #machine girl #chihayafuru #sandome no satsujin #gantz #manbiki kazoku #ajin #nana #cheer dan #hirose suzu #film #movies

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sinceileftyoublog · 3 years

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Voivod Interview: Locked Down and Loaded

BY JORDAN MAINZER

While the sudden onslaught of COVID-19 lockdowns forced many musicians on national and international tours to scramble home, others were in the middle of a creative process. Fortunately for legendary Canadian metal band Voivod, going virtual didn’t stop them. They’re no strangers to projects that have dragged out; for instance, a film about the band that started with director Sam Dunn (of Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey fame) before guitarist Denis "Piggy" D'Amour died from colon cancer in 2005, is in the process of being finished by Death By Metal director Felipe Belalcazar. This time, instead of totally switching gears, the band chose a multi-pronged approach. They continued to write their follow-up to The Wake virtually, doing demos with Logic Pro, live streamed a show, and released The End of Dormancy, an EP consisting of a reworked version of The Wake track of the same name as well as a couple live performances from last year’s Montreal International Jazz Festival. And on November 27th, Voivod drops The Lost Machine (Century Media), a full live album recorded in Québec City during last year’s tour, along with videos of performances directed by Belalcazar.

I spoke with drummer Michel “Away” Langevin (also the artist behind Voivod’s album covers) from his home in Montreal earlier this month about the band’s immediate and long-term future, and he’s excited about it all. So far, they’ve released the live album’s title track and “Iconspiracy” as singles with accompanying videos, with one more on the way. As their world tour from this year and next year has been postponed, they’re planning on doing another live streamed show early next year. Montreal’s been locked down again since October, but lead singer and lyricist Denis “Snake” Bélanger’s been working on his home studio for the band’s rehearsals and recording. (Langevin and bassist Dominic “Rocky” Laroche live downtown, Snake in the North Shore, and guitarist Daniel “Chewy” Mongrain a little bit outside the city.) Like they’ve always done as a band, whether venturing from speed metal to thrash metal to progressive metal or balancing constant changes of plans, Voivod continues to adapt.

Read my interview with Langevin below, edited for length and clarity.

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Since I Left You: When had you originally decided to release a live album?

Michel Langevin: We decided actually when the lockdown started in mid-March. At this point, we were writing material [for a new record], and we didn’t have access to the rehearsal space, so we were looking into what we could release. Last year, when touring The Wake, we had recorded this show we thought was really well performed.

SILY: But you didn’t necessarily know when on tour it was gonna be a live album.

ML: We were playing two festivals in Quebec: the Montreal [International] Jazz Festival and the other was the [Festival d'été de Québec]. We asked an engineer who had worked with us to come with his recording gear. The shows were not built thinking about a live album, but we were just on a roll touring nonstop.

SILY: And there’s video of these performances, too.

ML: We documented the Montreal Jazz Fest with multi-camera and a multi-track module. We didn’t think about documenting the Quebec City show officially, but we really liked the performance there.

SILY: The setlist of the live album seems to be pretty consistent with everything from The Wake tour.

ML: Because we toured so much for it, we switched setlists. Sometimes, we had two that would alternate. With almost two years of touring, we changed the setlist a lot. When we played Montreal and Quebec City, it was the last stretch of the long part of the tour for The Wake. We had a bit of a break right after for the summer. With those shows, we were really in shape. The album is super tight.

SILY: The setlist is basically half The Wake.

ML: We played songs from the first 6 albums and songs from Post Society as well as The Wake. Sometimes, we play material from the Eric [Forrest] era from the 90′s and from the Jason Newsted era from the early 2000′s. But it’s mainly 80′s stuff, although now we play stuff from the first 7 albums.

SILY: I did notice there wasn’t anything from Target Earth, which I love. Is it just because a record like that or some of the later 2000′s records you’ve more recently done big tours around?

ML: It’s just a matter of having too many albums, but I like when we play, let’s say, “Global Warming” from the Jason era back into the setlist. Right now, we try to cover our career as much as we can, but it’s getting more difficult every year. [laughs]

SILY: What was your inspiration behind the album art for this album?

ML: I tried to do the art listening to the recordings, mixing, and mastering. I was just listening to the music trying to represent a lost machine with a bunch of other lost machines that started following the main guy along the road.

SILY: What else has the band been up to during lockdown? Have you been able to record?

ML: We did an online show that went super well. We were able to gather and jam even with keeping our distances. We’re thinking of doing more, only if we’re able to rehearse. Snake is right now turning his house into a rehearsal studio. Right before the lockdown, we had templates for songs we were working on. We’re writing a new album [virtually]. This summer, we released The End of Dormancy EP with some songs from the Montreal show with videos we had shot November of last year. When the lockdown started, we looked at what we had to work with and went from there. There’s also a book about Voivod in the works. We’re trying to move forward as much as we can.

SILY: Is there anything you’ve been listening to, reading, or watching during lockdown that’s caught your attention?

ML: I’ve been working so much lately that I haven’t gotten to entertain myself a lot. After the release of [The Lost Machine], I really want to take some time to watch Raised By Wolves. I’ve heard a lot about it. I really like Westworld as well, so I want to watch season 3 of that.

SILY: You’re a key part of Voivod’s sci-fi themes. Is that what you tend to absorb in other art?

ML: I really like sci fi movies and series, but I don’t really read fiction that much. I read paranormal magazines.

SILY: Have you enjoyed the process of writing the studio album remotely?

ML: It’s interesting. I don’t have a studio in my apartment, so I have to program the drums. It makes me listen to Rocky and Chewy’s playing very carefully. It makes me catch stuff I wouldn’t catch at the rehearsal space and changes my playing. I can’t wait to get together, but I can tell that the situation will have an impact on the album.

SILY: The themes, too?

ML: I don’t think think [we’re] gonna focus on the pandemic. I think [we’re] gonna focus on other ideas. But the song structures and musical approach, the fact that we’re writing music and putting together the songs in a very different way, the end result will be very different than The Wake. I think it’s exciting, and if anything, with the whole COVID thing, we’re gonna get out of it as a band more organized and structured.

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fictionz · 4 years

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New Fiction 2020 - April

Far Cry Primal dev. Ubisoft Montreal (2016)

I wanted to wander around an environment alongside mammoths and this game provided that in spades. I spent so much time just contemplating in big meadows full of gentle, giant mammoths. On the flip side, it's a survival horror game? But saber-tooth cats instead of zombies. Now it's one of my favorite video games. It’s an entry in a long-running series of first-person shooters I otherwise don’t care about. And this game definitely gives me 'standard AAA bland shooter' vibes in its structure and narrative. They just created a fascinating world around that. One of the interesting bits of the game is everyone speaks in recreated primal languages. The one bit of English is lyrics in a song that appears toward the end of the game and it's so jarring to hear in contrast to the rest. I was impressed that Ubisoft invested in that level of authenticity but really got into it. It always bugs me when a game or movie uses weird accented English in place of the native language. I found this article series from the historical linguist they worked with to craft the languages and dialogue. Pretty fascinating deep dive.

Star Wars: Republic Commando dev. LucasArts (2005)

LucasArts released many Star Wars video games in the period around the prequel movies. 2005 saw the release of this game and Battlefront II, the latter of which is perhaps more popular for its online multiplayer component. I tried the single player of that game and it doesn’t compare to Republic Commando. This game’s focus on working together with a squad of surprisingly smart A.I.-controlled comrades makes it feel more intentional where many shooters seem to want to throw enemies for the sake of providing bullet sponges. Make no mistake, this is still a shooter and the player is still mowing down hordes of aliens. It’s just smarter about how it sets up those combat encounters. The player can only progress by successfully guiding squad mates around the battlefield. I enjoyed the game and was surprised to see it that it was rather short, starting at the Battle of Geonosis and ending just before the tragic Order 66 moment that so many heroes of the prequel era have to contend with. The game never received a sequel so I have to assume the squad sadly goes on to fulfill their mission. This is also compelling for providing an early look at the inner lives of the literal carbon copy clone army, something that Clone Wars would fully expound upon just a few years later.

Cabin Boy dir. Adam Resnick (1994)

All the movies I watched this month were through communal viewings on an app called Kast. It’s been fun to have no say in the movies that are selected, trusting someone else to make interesting choices. This first one was a strange, weirdly referential movie. It builds upon old timey sailor epics and Harryhausen stop-motion adventures to deliver a screwball comedy more in line with Pee Wee Herman than any of its inspirations. It stars Chris Elliott and I know of his work and have seen a few of his roles, but I can see why he was never quite popular in his heyday. His comedic style is almost daring you to like his work. I still can’t say I liked it, but it was certainly interesting to see a comedy like this and with this level of practical effects in 1994.

Manos: The Hands of Fate dir. Harold P. Warren (1966)

This felt similarly interesting as Cabin Boy in that ‘what the fuck am I watching’ kind of way, but at least with Manos I knew to expect some kind of schlock. I haven’t watched the MST3K version but knew full well that it’s hoisted up on the same lofty heights as Plan 9 from Outer Space in the Worst Movie Ever rankings. The big surprise for me was that it didn’t feel like the worst movie ever made. The viewer can follow along perfectly fine, and it’s clear what they’re going for. It’s also clear the filmmaker wasn’t a filmmaker. I can’t say I enjoyed it as a horror movie as much as I enjoyed examining it while I watched. I can imagine being disappointed if this movie was taken seriously, but hindsight really makes it a fascinating artifact. We watched the restored version on blu ray and perhaps that extra visual quality helped make it just a little better than old grainy copies would have.

The Castle of Cagliostro dir. Hayao Miyazaki (1979)

So let me get this straight. Lupin III--the star of this animated movie and countless other series both in manga and animated form--is usually an unlikeable pile of garbage? And this one movie where Miyazaki wisely makes him a hero is a source of complaints by fans who want the garbage version? That’s my understanding. It makes me want to not watch anything else with Lupin III in it. Castle of Cagliostro is still a product of its time and the whole ordeal is about the hero saving the damsel and taking down the villain (who, by the way, is a real pile of garbage). However, it’s still charming and Lupin’s intentions kind of clear up as the movie goes on. He’s more akin to Han Solo, rogue with a heart of gold. The movie’s notoriety is clearly driven by the high watermark set in the art and animation. It is an astounding movie to just watch in motion. Miyazaki and co. undoubtedly near killed themselves to make this, much as they did for many of the movies to later come out of Miyazaki’s Studio Ghibli work. There’s a fascinating interview with Yasuo Otsuka, animator on the film, that is included on the blu ray and available online.

Star Trek: Discovery - Seasons 1 & 2 (2017-2019)

Spoiler-filled rant.

Discovery is... something. It outta be called Star Trek: Burnham. Sadly now it feels, like Picard, that they had to squeeze their arcs into seasons that needed more episodes. There's an odd bottle episode or two where I felt like "more of this!" But I can count them on one hand. The stakes are constantly at 11. And with Discovery, the characters are good! There are so many of them who get so few lines but like, I wanna know who they are and care about them before the shit hits the fan and they upend the status quo. For example, how do you include a cool-looking cyborg to the bridge crew for two seasons and give her almost no screen time, then make a major episode about her and expect us to believe everyone's sad when she sacrifices herself? I got real annoyed over Airiam's fate. She should've gotten her own non-critical episode before that. Like the stuff with Saru and his home planet. I suppose my key problem with Discovery is that they don't seem to understand that TNG, DS9, etc were about ALL the bridge crew, not just a couple of people. Discovery also spends a lot of time on the villains and external characters. There's some cool characters there but it definitely pulls time from the bridge crew dynamics and camaraderie.

Star Wars Rebels (2014-2018)

Rebels was a nice series to pair in the same month as Discovery because it does exactly what I’d hoped from that series. You spend all your time getting to know the key members of the Ghost’s crew. This show skews toward a younger crowd so its motivations are simpler, but they still squeeze in some significant character-building and growth into their relatively short episodes and seasons. They also raise the stakes, but the stakes are so personal and small in the grand scheme of the Star Wars galaxy’s problems that it’s always about what’s important to this group of people there and now. There are also plenty of fan service moments and returning characters to make this a satisfying continuation of the stories and themes in Clone Wars.

Star Wars Forces of Destiny (2017-2018)

I was surprised to find these bite-sized, kid-oriented shorts even existed. I’ve lost touch with Disney’s many efforts to expand the brand and while this series certainly fits into that type of marketing-driven creative effort, it’s still a nice bit of fun with familiar characters. I’d watch these with my five year-old niece. The focus on women as the leads of these shorts sadly highlights how they need to continue to expand the scope of their lead roles beyond men (and, I think, beyond humans).

#star wars #forces of destiny #rebels #republic commando #star trek #discovery #castle of cagliostro #hayao mizayaki #cabin boy #chris elliott #manos hands of fate #far cry primal #ubisoft #lucasarts #new fiction

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