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angryschnauzer · 3 years

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Blackwater Lake - Chapter 2

Summary: There’s a little town high in the mountains where everyone has a secret, and every family has something that makes them unique. In Blackwater Lake those that are outcast by nature come together.

Characters/Pairing: Vampire!Walter Marshall x Female Reader

Warnings (for this chapter); Talk of PTSD, Reader is ex police, Possible home invasion, NSFW sexy times, protected sex.

Previous Parts: Werewolf!Sy: Moonlight on the Sand Castle Under The Stars. Werewolf!Sy, Vampire!Walter: Chapter 1

This will be a series of stand alone stories/2 parters, which will revolve around the residents of the town, with some recurring characters. The ‘reader’ for each story will be a ‘new’ reader, so its not the same woman being with all the male characters.

I do not run a tag list, but please follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications. You’ll then get an alert every time i post something new.

Chapter 2

Walter had managed to recover from the shock of seeing his best friend and his wife being able to make their eyes glow, and as unbelievable as it sounded, had accepted their explanations of how they’d been turned into Werewolves. Much like his own knowledge of Vampirism before he had been turned himself, he quickly understood that what the media made these quirks of nature to be and what they actually were had been greatly exaggerated.

Sy had stayed up into the early hours of the morning with him, sharing the better part of a bottle of bourbon as he’d described how it affected their family, and how his wife only turned when her period coincided with a full moon, and how they dealt with childcare during the times that they would turn.

Walter woke with a start, the soft mountain light pouring in the windows and for a moment he was confused, not recognising his surroundings until he remembered spending the rest of the night on Sy’s couch. His mouth felt like something had crawled inside and died, and he swore in that moment not to share hard liquor with someone that could howl at the moon. Finding some painkillers high in a kitchen cabinet he crushed two between his teeth before drinking straight from the tap. Standing tall he moved his neck, trying to get the kinks and knots out of his muscles when a pair of fluffy slippered feet appeared in the doorway. Looking up Walter poorly suppressed a laugh as he saw Sy wearing a pair of sheepskin moccasins and what was obviously his wife’s robe;

“Reginald, you look stunning” Walter muttered as he watched his friend shuffle into the kitchen

Sy held up his finger and waggled it, wincing at the sunlight pouring in the window;

“Don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t call me that, the only people that call me that are the preacher or my Ma, and unless you’re planning on marrying me or making me biscuits...”

Walter laughed, leaning against the counter as Sy filled the coffee pot as if he was on autopilot, before reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out a baby bottle with the previous day’s expressing date on. Setting the bottle to warm in a bowl of water he handed Walter a tin of coffee;

“Fill that up, i’m gonna go get Luna”

A few minutes later he reappeared holding his little girl in his arms, wrapped in a soft blanket covered in moons and stars. Grabbing the bottle before settling at the kitchen table, he popped the lid off and shook the bottle, before lifting it and shaking a few drops onto his tongue, laughing when he saw Walters eyes go a little wide;

“Better straight from the source but Mama is sleepin’ so its me in Mama’s robe” he explained with a grin on his face. Walter placed a mug of steaming black coffee in front of Sy; “Thanks man… hey, in the fridge there’s a pint of pigs blood from Walkers Meats… ya’know, if you need it”

“Why have you got pigs blood?”

“The missus was gonna make some Scottish thing, some sorta sausage, but if you need it, we can always get another… in fact she’s gonna be too tired to use it before it spoils, what with the full moon and all...”

Sy turned his attention to his tiny daughter feeding in his arms, giving Walter the sense of privacy to do what he needed to do. As Luna finished her bottle Sy held her to his shoulder, rubbing her back until she let out a burp he would have been proud of himself, only looking up when he heard Walter also let out a low belch;

“You need me to rub your back too Walt?”

“Fuck off Sy” the vampire said lightheartedly, a sense of relief in his mind now that the guy that had become one of his best friends knew his secret.

Pulling the last crate of bottles off the back of the pickup you thanked the guy from the craft brewery and waved him off, taking a deep breath before slowly climbing the fire escape at the back of the bar that led into the storeroom. It had been a long shift already, starting at 10am you’d opened up and started the ovens, restocked the bar as the cleaners had come through and cleaned the place top to bottom. Your boss was always decent to his staff, paying a good wage and having the cleaning crew come in during the closed daytime hours rather than in the early hours of the morning.

Working around them as they did their job, you restocked the caddy’s on the tables with silverware, napkins, and condiments, before returning to the bar and checking on the ice machine.

“Hey we’re all done now” one of the cleaners said as you looked up.

“That’s great, thanks. You guys always make this place look good”

Chatting with them you walked them through the storeroom - something your boss always insisted on that any non bar staff had to be escorted through - before one reached for the wooden rail on the fire escape. Something made you stop talking and before you could stop yourself, one hand was pushing one of the guys back into the storeroom, the other was grabbing the shirt that was already standing outside. Just as you did the rail slipped away, as if in slow motion, the three of you looking in fear as the heavy wood crashed twenty feet below onto the empty kegs that were stored beneath.

Speechless you stood there, fingers still curled around the shirt of one, hand splayed across the chest of the other;

“Fuck” you whispered quietly, not to anyone in particular.

“You could say that…”

Having made sure both cleaning guys were ok, if a little shaken up, you made them leave by the front door then considered your options. Dialling the boss you weren’t surprised to hear it ring out before going to voicemail. He had strict downtime rules, and was more than likely out on his ranch land taking care of his horses. Knowing he trusted you to make the right judgement, you scrolled through your numbers and dialled Marshall’s Property Maintenance;

“Marshall’s, what can i do for you?”

“Hi, i’m calling from Big G’s Sports Bar? We’ve just had the handrail fall off our fire escape. Wondering if you’ve got space to fix it this afternoon?”

There was a pause before you heard a long exhale of breath;

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be there in twenty minutes”

“Thanks Walter”

Hanging up you smiled. You’d worked with Walter when you’d been on the police force, you’d been a patrol cop that would assist with crime scene control and you’d been first on the scene for countless horrific acts of violence. One final call had given you PTSD so bad you’d resigned, finding a home in the small town of Blackwater Lake and a steady job at Big G’s Sports Bar. Your boss was the big quiet type, liked to spend more time out on his ranch with his horse, having enough trust in you to run the day to day operations of the bar as his assistant manager.

It had been well past 9pm when Walter finished the repairs. Your boss had come in and helped him out when he’d got your text, leaving you in charge of the first few hours of opening. When the two men reappeared through the storeroom you smiled at them, getting ready for the evening handover before grabbing your coat and clocking off.

A few minutes later as you hopped off the last step of the fire escape onto the dandelion scattered gravel - your boss liked to let them grow - you smiled at Walter as he was loading his tools into his truck;

“Hey, thanks for today. Really saved our bacon… without the fire escape we wouldn’t be up to code so couldn’t have opened”

“S’ok. Glad you called” Walter admitted; “It’s been a while…”

Scuffing the gravel with your boot you swallowed the lump that was in your throat;

“How have you been? Since… ya know…”

“Alive. Wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t of been for you and your partner”

“We did what was needed… not every day you see va…” you stopped yourself, you still hadn’t completely come to terms with what you’d seen; “V...vagrants doing that… I’m just glad we got there in time…”

There was a moment of awkward silence before Walter rounded the truck and stood in front of you;

“Do you need a ride home? Your boss mentioned that you walk to work and you stayed late where he was helping me get this fixed”

“Thanks, that’d be nice”

Over the next few nights Walter would appear at the bar early evening, usually under the pretense of checking the work on the fire escape or dropping off the bill to the office, and you quickly clocked that he would always be leaving just as your shift was ending to conveniently give you a ride home. Not that you minded, the weather had turned unseasonably cool after the warmth of the parade weekend, so the casual conversation as he drove you home in the warmth of his giant truck was a good way to end the day.

As he rolled into the parking lot behind your apartment complex you wondered if you should invite him in for a coffee, but weren’t sure if you were reading his intentions correctly. Gnawing on your lip you reached into your pocket for your keys, smiling at Walter as he pulled the truck to a stop;

“There we go, home sweet home. Have a good night”

“You too Walter”

Stepping out you smiled and gave him a little wave, knowing he waited until you had gotten into your building.

Watching you go Walter cursed himself. When Rachel had left he’d been in the dumps even more than usual, but over the last few days he’d taken a shine to you. He was pretty sure you had clued onto the fact that he had always turned up around the time of your shift finishing, but when he’d found out from Geralt that your car had died and you couldn’t afford to repair it, he didn’t like the thought of you walking home alone. Sure Blackwater Lake was a sleepy little town, but keeping in mind what lurked in the woods - both natural and supernatural - he felt better knowing you’d gotten home. He had been sure you were going to invite him in for coffee tonight, but he’d gotten butterflies in his stomach and had blurted out a farewell before you’d had the chance.

Looking up at your apartment he let out a sigh.

Then… then something caught his eye. You hadn’t been in the building long enough for the shadow to be you, knowing you stopped to grab your mail each time you entered the building. Killing the engine he reached to the glove compartment for his gun - he still had a concealed carry permit - and raced to the building.

Juggling your mail and your purse, you held the letters in your mouth as you searched for the right key on your set when suddenly the sound of thundering footsteps made you spin around, your jaw dropping when you saw Walter appear from the staircase and running to your side. His hand was on your arm and he was pulling you to the side of your door before holding you to his chest;

“There’s someone in your apartment”

“What? No, i locked everything before i left… and there’s no sign of any damage to the door…”

Letting you go he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled for the sheriff, but as you listened in you could hear the volunteer dispatcher explain that both the Sheriff and the two deputies were out on the highway dealing with an 18 wheeler logging truck that had spun off on a bend. Walter cursed under his breath and hung up;

“Do you still carry?”

“No… not since…”

“Ok. Unlock the door and stay behind me”

The next minute seemed to last both seconds and hours, following Walter through your apartment until he silently pushed the bedroom door open with his gun;

“Freeze!”

The shape in the darkness didn’t move, and when you peered over Walters extended arm and you realised what he was looking at, you let out a sigh and flipped the lightswitch, the ‘threat’ suddenly illuminated and Walters shoulders dropping;

“Oh…”

Your spare uniform shirt was hanging on the frame to the window where you’d hung it earlier in the day so the sunshine would dry it. You let out a deep breath and laughed, resting your forehead against Walters shoulder;

“It’s just my uniform…” you hadn’t realised your voice was shaking until Walter turned and wrapped his arms around you

“I’m sorry i scared you”

Burying your face in the warmth of his sweater, your voice was muffled as you spoke;

“Its ok. I’d rather you have seen the mess in my apartment and saved me from an intruder than the alternative…” you smiled weakly at him, and it was then that the tension in the room was like static before a storm. Like the first lightning strike, when Walters lips touched yours it was as if electricity coursed through your veins, the kiss hungry and needy, contact between two touch starved people needing that connection. Your fingers curled in threads of his knitwear, pulling yourself closer as his arms wrapped around you and his hands splayed out over your ass, squeezing handfuls of flesh so he could pull you flush against his body. The kiss deepend and his tongue sought entrance between your lips which you eagerly granted. He tasted of coffee and peanut butter chocolate, and when he pulled away you were both gasping for breath.

“So, vampires do need oxygen then?”

“How do you…? How are you not scared?”

“Because i was there when it happened. And I've seen you hundreds of times since. I’ve seen you in the mirror, I've seen you outside in the sunshine, i’ve literally served you garlic bread…” you paused; “And i didn’t need to invite you in. Whatever myths are linked to your condition, i know the Walter behind them, i know the quiet and controlled Walter that assesses a situation and ensures everyone is safe…” you paused; “Because I know i’m safe with you”

Walter opened his mouth to speak, but the lump in his throat caught the words. Closing his eyes he rested his forehead against yours, letting out a shaky breath as you gently held his face in your palms, your thumbs softly caressing the skin of his cheeks where his beard ended. You pressed your lips to his, and this kiss was different, this kiss was full of passion, of acceptance and the growing need that was blooming.

Clothes were scattered as fingers and lips found each new patch of exposed skin, running your fingernails down his massive chest as you both fell to the bed, your fingers curling in the coarse hair that covered his chest before clutching at his belt as his teeth sharply ran over the line of your collarbone and you let out a gasp;

“More…”

“I… I’m not going to bite you…”

“I don’t want you to, but my neck is super sensitive, it's like my biggest turn on…”

At that moment Walter could feel the change, his eyes paling and his fangs growing more prominent as you watched from below him, but what he wasn’t expected was the groans that escaped your throat and the way your body shook;

“Did you just…?” he cocked an eyebrow, he already knew you’d just cum, but he wanted you to admit it.

“Yes, fuck yes, now i need more…”

With a growl he ducked his head down and peppered sharp kisses over your neck, hands working on each others jeans before you were able to kick them off. Your hands ducked into Walters pants and you grasped at his hard length, hot in your palm through his underwear;

“Oh fuck, you’re big…”

“Don’t worry, i’ll go slow… do you… do you have protection?”

“In the drawer”

He reluctantly pulled himself off the bed, and you propped yourself up on your elbows as he searched out the condoms, pulling the box out and swinging something else from his fingertips;

“These aren’t regulation edition”

The pink fluffy handcuffs had been a present a long time ago, and had somehow moved apartments with you;

“Next time…” you reached and grabbed them from him, tossing them aside before grabbing the box and a small foil packet, ripping it open with your teeth as Walter quickly shed himself of his boots and jeans, his dark boxers discarded as you reached for him and smoothed the latex over his fat dick.

He smoothed his hands down your legs, before tugging you down the bed and flipping you onto your stomach, pulling your hips up until your ass was in the air. The rough brush of his beard against your soft inner thighs was quickly soothed by his tongue swiping a firm lick through your soaked folds. He took hold of your hips and you felt him move into position, the firm nudge at your entrance before with a low groan he speared you with the slow stretch of his girth.

“You feel so fucking good… so tight…”

Your fingers curled into the bedsheets and your jaw hung open, the sheer pleasure that was coursing through your veins felt like an elixir as Walter hammered into your tight velvet channel. The carnal slap of flesh on flesh resonating around the room, only joined by the breathless pants escaping your lips and the grunts Walter would let slip as he sought pleasure in your body with his own. He splayed his fingers over your back, running the palm of his hand up your spine until he was able to cup your neck and pull you up, flush with his heated body. His sharp teeth scraped over your neck, his beard rough against the etched skin;

“Look in the mirror. See how amazing you look”

Focusing your attention on the dresser mirror that stood in the corner, you watched as Walter continued to slowly rock his hips, fucking you slow and hard from behind. But it was his eyes that drew your attention, icy pools of white with deep obsidian pupils piercing the tundra, and the flash of danger from his sharp teeth at your neck, just catching on the skin as he spoke;

“You’re so fucking beautiful, dunno what i did to deserve you… will you cum for me?” he slid his hand down your stomach and in the patch of curls at the apex of your thighs, seeking out the sensitive pearl of your clit and rubbing the pad of his finger over it in firm circles; “Will you cum for me?” he repeated, punctuating each word with a sharp thrust of his hips.

“Yes… Walter, please…”

“What do you need…”

“My neck, please…”

Walter knew he couldn’t bite you, there were so many unknowns he’d never explored, but he closed his eyes and focused his energies on bringing you to completion. Thrusting his hips in time to the movement of his hand, whilst sucking a hickey onto your neck, knowing his teeth were rubbing against the skin but not breaking it. The triple stimuli sent you over the edge, your head rolling back onto his shoulder and your mouth open in a silent scream as you came so hard you saw stars, shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body as your walls gripped Walter tight, before with one final thrust you heard him growl as he came hard.

He held you for the longest time, your heart racing in your chest as echoes of your orgasm ricocheted through your body. As Walter started to soften you felt him hold the condom at the base of his shaft as he pulled out gently;

“Err… bathroom?”

“Just through there” you nodded to the door off of the bedroom as you fell to the bed, laying back with a smile on your face.

A few moments later he reappeared with a warm washcloth, first soothing your neck before tenderly attending to the mess between your thighs. After putting it back in the bathroom he appeared at the side of the bed, reaching for his jeans when you caught his wrist and pulled him onto the bed;

“You don’t need to go”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to overstay my welcome…”

“Look, unless you’re going to turn into a bat or something, you’re fine… we can talk, order some takeout…”

Wrapping his arm around your shoulders, you snuggled to his chest as he smiled sleepily;

“That sounds good. Can i take you out on a proper date at some point?”

“That’d be nice. Though our options are slim in this town, its only Sue’s Coffee Shop or Big-G’s Bar… unless you want to get a take-out pizza and sit outside on the kerb”

“I’ll cook, come to my place? What are you doing Friday night?”

“I’m off, but…”

“But?”

You felt your cheeks flushing with heat;

“I’m due on by the end of the week…”

“Oh. OH…” You looked up at Walter and saw a flush over his cheeks and his blue eyes glinting with excitement and a smirk on his lips.

“Oh… you’re into that?”

“You’re… not? Because i just want to say, i would happily give oral to my girl on her period even pre-vamp status…now its just…”

“A snack?”

He let out a low belly laugh;

“Yeah, you could say that”

Curling up to Walter’s chest you felt a sense of calm you hadn’t experienced for a very long time, the conversation flowing easily and long into the night, before you both fell asleep in each other's arms.

#walter marshall #walter marshall x reader #walter marshall smut #Vampire!Walter #henry cavill

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introducingmiggymackerel · 3 years

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Hi friends!! This is gonna be another “I see y’all coming over here from mcyttwt” post. I’m not gonna go through a laundry list of rules though

I just want to let you know that if you’re using tumblr regularly for the first time, it’s okay to be confused by the format at first and it’s okay to fuck up! Tumblr has a very different and specific culture from Twitter, so we don’t expect you to learn all the “rules” overnight.

I also wanted to mention that it can be very difficult for us neurodivergent folk to pick up on unspoken rules of engagement no matter what situation we’re in, and I know this fandom has quite a few nd people in it (especially young people), so don’t get discouraged if you don’t understand the dynamics here right away.

That being said, I’d love it if you sent me an ask or a message if you have any questions about tumblr, mechanically or socially. I’ve been in this fandom for a little over six months and on tumblr in general for about eight years, so I like to think I know my stuff😎

Some notes about messages and asks:

Asks are the standard form of communicating with other users one-on-one. When you send an ask, the user can either answer or ignore it. Once you send it, you might get a notification if it was answered, but tumblr is a broken hellsite so I would just recommend checking the blog once or twice a day to see if they did. You will find asks that people send to you in your inbox.

When an ask is answered, the user can either post the ask publicly or send the answer to you privately. An ask can only be answered privately if you send it off anon — that is, if you do not have the “anonymous” function turned on when you send it. Generally, all asks are answered publicly unless the asker specifically requests to remain private, but it can depend on the user as well. Private responses will appear in your inbox.

You can only send asks from your main blog (often referred to as just your “main”), so if you have a side blog, it will not come through in your ask unless you make a note that that is who you are.

Messages, on the other hand, function more like DMs. They are always private, and are used for conversations rather than one-time questions or comments. You can send and receive messages from any of your blogs.

Hope that helps!!

Tl;dr: mcyttwt friends, ask me if you have any questions about tumblr!!

#mcyt #mcytblr #mcyttwt #dream smp #dsmp #bc that’s what most of you are here for lbr #sara says words

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pocfansmatter · 4 years

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Okay I said before I was going to get more in depth with blood quantum eventually so now is as better time than any I guess. Mind you I'm speaking as a Native American meaning an Indigenous person from America. Specifically from 2 southern California tribes. I cannot speak for all Native or Indigenous people. I can only speak for myself, I can’t even speak for my tribe. However most Natives tend to have the same view when it comes to the blood quantum debate. From this point on blood quantum will be shortened to BQ & Native American to Native(s).

Originally this was gonna be a reply to another comment but decided to make it it's own post so I don't associate my blog with that anti Indigenous one. Please try to read the whole post before clicking the articles. I screenshotted the main parts to keep the discussion going. Feel free to click on all the articles because they are good & most of them are from Native run news websites.

I was gonna do this with a read more tag but my laptop doesn't want to work. I'm literally getting anyther one on Thanksgiving but my old one doesn't cooperate sorry so y'all are gonna get a long post. 😕

So let's start with the basics. What is blood quantum?

"Blood quantum laws or Indian blood laws are laws in the United States and the former Thirteen colonies that define Native American identity by percentages of ancestry. ... For instance, a person who has one parent who is a full-blood Native American and one who has no Native ancestry has a blood quantum of 1/2."

In case that was confusing if one person is "full blood native" they are considered 4/4. Meaning they have no relatives who are of any other race or ethnicity. If the "full blood native" has a child with a non Native person the child would have a BQ of 1/2 Native blood. If that child has a child with a non Native that child will be considered 1/4. This will continue to get lower & lower unless the child has a baby with another Native. Then the BQ raises or stays the same depending on the other parents BQ.

Now that the definition is out of the way lets get into the issue with this.

This is a good article that narrowed down an issue with Pharrell wearing a headdress. I wanna focus on one part of the article though.

"... deeply connected to their Native culture & live it every day."

"Having Native American ancestors doesn't get you off the hook if you don't bother to do the homework."

So I mentioned before that a lot of Natives don't consider BQ as a proper way of measuring your culture. Being Native isn't something you can pull out when it's convenient like for a photoshoot. Its every single day. It's in the words we speak, in the clothes we wear & in the food we cook. Same as any other culture.

Asian people don't wake up not Asian. Black people don't wake up not Black.

So why is do some people pull out the Native card when it is convenient? Like Pharrell did or Elizabeth Warren claims.

This article sums it up well but I wanna focus on the last 2 paragraphs.

Link to the full article:

There's similarities in both articles by 2 different Native authors from 2 different news websites.

They both speak about connections to our culture. A DNA test cannot measure ones Indigenous Ancestry because being Indigenous is much more than something in your blood.

I made a post asking some questions that might help understand if one is Indigenous or not. Now I'm not saying these are all the questions nor that I'm the expert on this. These are just STARTER questions to help people understand what it means to be Native.

Does the tribe you claim, claim you?

Have you been to the reservation?

Do you participate in the community?

Have you met your family from the tribe?

Do you know your history, traditions, anything about the tribe you claim?

The big one is are you claimed. You cannot claim a tribe that doesn't claim you. Now I'm not saying the entirety of the tribe has to know you personally. I'm not even saying you have to stand in front of the tribal council & ask them if they claim you. A claim can be made as little as just your family saying "this person is one of us".

The reason I bring this up is because multiple tribes have in the past & continue the practice of "adopting" a person into their tribe. There's many examples of this. Some can be adopted because they married into a tribe. Non Natives & Natives of other tribes alike have been adopted into tribes. There can be legal adoptions like adopting a child. And countless other examples.

A lot of the time biologically those members aren't apart of the tribe & cannot be enrolled but are still viewed as a member by the community.

For personal example, my sister has been adopted by my tribe. She's actually an enrolled member from another tribe & technically my cousin but was taking away by CPS & my family took her in. She grew up & still lives on my reservation. She is from another reservation. Although her tribe still claims her as a member my tribe also does. People in my community know her as a member of my family & have grown up with her. She knows many of our traditions & practices some ceremonies with us that are specific to my tribe. No one in our tribe has expressed any issue with this so far & even if they did they would have a stern talking to. We are even in the process of organizing her to be buried on our tribal land instead of hers. Her choice & we are okay with it.

Now I want to point out another way people can be considered Native even if they aren't enrolled or cannot answer those questions properly.

Let's look at something called "reconnecting Natives".

What is a reconnecting Native?

A reconnecting Native is someone of Native Ancestry who for whatever reason has been removed from their culture, family, reservation, etc so they do not know them & are actively trying to learn those things so they can reclaim their Native roots.

So, how does this happen? This is actually a very common issue in the community.

One of the main ways a Native might become disconnected is through the process of Residential Schools or Indian Boarding Schools. What is that? Here's a snippet of an article to help explain.

Of course here is the link:

The official motto of these schools was "kill the Indian, save the man” and if you think it sounds awful I promise you, it was much worse than you could imagine.

There's a movie on Netflix called Indian Horse which I have not watched yet but is based off a novel by an Indigenous author that looks at these Boarding Schools if you wish to check that out.

The goals of these schools were to strip Indigenous children of their culture. They were beaten, starved, punished of things as simple as speaking in their languages. A lot of them didn't even speak English. It was illegal to keep your kids from this school & often times tribal children went to these schools and never returned to their family. Natives who attended these schools or are children of children who attended these schools more often than not stop practicing their culture or forget it. In that way they become "disconnected".

Those members can if chosen too began the process of reconnecting.

I found this really good article going a little more in depth on the do's & don't's of reconnecting.

But here's a screenshot of important parts.

Granted this is a long process. Lifelong. Every journey to reconnect is difficult & very different from others. It depends on your tribe & community. Some of them make it easier & some make it harder. It's up to the individual to put in the work.

Now I don't want to make it like being a connected Native is easy. Yes it's easier but connected Natives also put in work to live their culture everyday.

Now what does this have to do with blood quantum? As you can see none of these articles about being Native or even a reconnecting Native mention blood quantum or DNA being a requirement.

If one is Japanese & someone asks "how are you Japanese?" What would the answer be?

"Because I just am. Because my parents are Japanese."

If someone is white & has kids those kids are white, correct?

So if it's so easy to explain for other cultures why does mine require math? Why are some of my family members not enrolled members despite having Native parents & growing up on the reservation? Why do my people have to actively think about the DNA results of our children if we choose to have them?

Because of BQ. Its a tool created by colonizers that are forced upon us. If we do not abide by the rules & requirements the government sets in place we run the very big risk of

Losing our status of a Native American tribe.

Losing our land & land rights.

Losing funding from the federal government.

Losing our housing.

Losing Healthcare.

Losing our basic citizenship rights.

The thing about BQ is it's designed so that we fail. If we fail to keep a certain amount of enrolled tribal members in a tribe then the government can break treaties & take away our land & things that are rightfully ours.

BQ is a lose/lose situation all around for us as well as extremely racist.

Because of the BQ requirements Natives actively worry about who they have children with. Some don't date outside of the their culture in fear of their children not being seen as legally Native. The problem here is a lot of the tribe is related. The issue of inbreeding increases. How do we solve that problem? Well we can have children with Natives of another tribe. But there's a problem here too. Most tribes do not allow what we call dual enrollment. Both of my tribes for example don't allow this. Which means one would have to pick which tribe to enroll their child. That means one of the tribes will lose out on a member. So that's another way identities are erased using BQ.

Okay I think I'm going to end this here. There is so much more I could've added. I also could've expanded on residential schools, what it means to be Indigenous, & reconnecting Natives but I wanted to keep it focused on BQ. If you have anymore questions feel free to ask or research on your own. We're still here. We aren't stuck in the 1800's. We weren't all killed by cowboys but the government is still actively trying to erase us.

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hear-me-growl · 4 years

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Ambrosia | Ksj | Chapter VI (final)

ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴏɴ Aᴏ3 || Dɪᴏɴʏsᴜs ·ᴘᴜʙ· ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀᴘᴏsᴛ || ↻ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

> ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut, humor, fluff, angst | s2l > ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: millionaire!Seokjin x bartender!, nyotaimori model!Reader > ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: mature [+18]; strong language and explicit sex > ᴡᴏʀᴅᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 5.9k

sᴇʀɪᴇs ɪɴᴅᴇx || ⟵ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴠ

💙 ᴀ/ɴ: can’t believe this beast is finally done (though I might post a bonus epilogue, we’ll see 😉). Thank you so, so much for reading and leaving likes. Not gonna lie, it’s been a hard one to write, but also extremely fun. As my first story in English (and also my first BTS fic), it holds a special place in my heart. Also I may or may not be a sucker for this Jin. Now that it’s over, don’t be shy to let me know your thoughts. It’s important for creators that you give feedback, even if just a few words or a keyboard smash. You can make someone (not only me) very happy.

Ambrosia brought a lot of people to my blog and I’m super thankful for you all and very excited to write many more stories you’ll enjoy too. Once again, thank you for all the love and support.

Psst! Keep an eye out for the next update on the Dionysus ·pub· series. Did someone say Hobi?

“Thanks, you fuckers! We love you!”

The growl in the frontman’s voice raised screams and whistles that rumbled through Dionysus. Sweaty, ethereal and devilishly handsome, Taehyung bowed for the crowd chanting his band’s name. Everytime their signature purple bunny posters covered the beaten bricks of the pub, a mass of people flooded the establishment. V’s Moon Rabbits caused a frenzy wherever they played, waking the masses with their sound like a rockslide. The rock, jazzy melodies paired with the singer’s looks skyrocketed their popularity in underground Seoul.

However, no matter how many concerts and jam sessions were scheduled, they always came back to Dionysus —the pub that gave them a chance when nobody did.

After the performance, they usually hung out at the bar until they found a fan desperate for a chance to share the night with their idols. Doe eyes and sultry smiles in every corner, the boys never went home alone.

Tonight you didn’t work behind the bar, though. You just sat on a barstool, keeping your best friend entertained on her shift, ready to jump to her rescue if she felt overwhelmed. Not that she needed it, she handled the crowd with a big smile on her face. Beer in hand, you chatted animatedly with the blonde singer and Namjoon, the drummer, since the others had already found someone to drag to the bathrooms for an intimate rendezvous.

“You broke your drumstick. Again. You owe me 30.000.”

“I distinctly remember you mentioning both of them, so I’m not paying a single won.”

“C’mon, man. Don’t be a pussy,” Taehyung nudged his bandmate’s side as he took a sip of his beer. “Next time don’t make it so easy for her to win.”

“Yeah, pay up, Joon,” you chimed, a taunting tone lingering on your lips.

“Sorry, love. The rules were clear.”

The tall man leaned back on the bar and gave his signature jaw-dropping smile, flanked by two cute dimples. Who would’ve thought underneath all that there was the lady-killer of the century? You bent forward towards him, sniffing before wrinkling your nose.

“Does it smell like chicken over here?”

A snort came from your other side, Taehyung trying to conceal his laughter and you snickered along. Namjoon’s tattooed hands ran over his chin as he watched the both of you in amusement too before speaking.

“Tell you what it doesn’t smell like: money in your pocket. Now, if you excuse me,” he said, eyes fixed on a juicy target. His self-satisfied smirk turned sultry as his gaze darkened, “there’s a pretty doll over there not sucking my cock and I’d like to change that.”

In a flash, the drummer finished the rest of his drink, attention solely on the woman at the other side of the bar. Still perched on the counter, he looked at you with a raised brow. “Unless you want to join her?”

“Go get your dick wet already,” you nudged with a groan, fully aware that he wasn’t entirely joking.

Like a panther, he stalked towards his newfound prey, mixing with the crowd. Taehyung and you chatted for a little while. He differed from his charismatic persona on stage. V’s goal was to attract people with mysterious looks and alluring smiles, but Taehyung was much more reserved, rude even, except around his close ones. At some point, you noticed the cute girl behind him. You recognised her immediately and smiled warmly, inviting her to talk to the singer.

“Hi, Tae,” she greeted quietly.

Hearing his name, he turned around to face his number one fan. Her face brightened up with the attention.

“Hey, baby girl. Just arrived?”

“Err— yeah, I’m sorry I missed the show.”

“You’ve been to all of them for the past two years, I think you can skip one, ” he sneered. After that an awkward silence settled between the two. When he started to turn back to you, ending the conversation, she was quick to keep his attention.

“Do you… umm… wanna dance with me?”

“Not now, I’m talking.”

“Oh, of course! I’m sorry I interrupted,” she apologized, looking at you with doe eyes.

“No worries, sweetie,” you intervened as you shot a murderous glare to the man, the second-hand embarrassment urging you to help the poor girl out. “Stay and chat with us. What do you drink?”

Her eyes jumped from you to Taehyung nervously, a flash of pain through them when he lazily checked his phone, clearly indiferent. She swallowed a sigh, shrinking in defeat.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’m going to… my friend should be here somewhere,” she grimaced at her own excuse, but bit her lips and cocked her head before speaking again. “See you later, Tae?”

“I don’t know my plans yet, baby girl.”

“Right,” she whispered, looking at his side like he’d shot just her. After a beat, she cleared her throat, eyes on the floor. “Bye, then.”

She walked away, hand on her face to hide from the overflowing crowd and ponytail shaking. The singer took a sip from his beer, still on the phone. He didn’t even bother to look her in the eye to reject her.

“One: that was actually painful to experience, and two: you are a major asshole. That poor girl follows you like a puppy with heart eyes and you know it. Do you have to be so rude?”

“Hey, she knows what she’s getting into,” he answered with a shrug.

That naive fool. What a terrible mistake she made falling for Taehyung. To him there was no point in lying, so he proudly waved the “I’ll never be your boyfriend ” flag before anything happened and then jumped to the next roll in the hay without sparing a glance. Never settling, never making false promises. He was upfront about his intentions, so it never bothered you before, despite how tactless he was. Tonight, however, you felt pity at the heartbroken look in her eyes. Love brought more pain than happiness, she’d learn sooner or later.

Suddenly, something bumped into the barstool and you stumbled forward. Taehyung catched you before you could hit your head on the counter. With a snarl on display, you turned and yelled at the culprit, who zigzagged towards the exit, probably to smoke or take a piss. You scoffed. He probably didn’t even hear you, given his unsteady walk. Just as the door opened, a tall, neatly dressed figure entered the bar, stepping aside just in time to dodge the tripping drunk.

It took a second for you to register the tingle travelling across your skin like wildfire brought by the newcomer. You had felt it before, that twisted warm fuzzy feeling, a disease that spread and ruined people. All too familiar and foreign at the same time, like rewatching an old movie with new eyes.

‘You felt something that night and you feel it still’.

The words echoed in your memory, taking you a couple of weeks back. That night after the event was your last conversation with him and you thought you’d finally rid yourself of unnecessary trouble. Quite the opposite. You found yourself craving for something, no matter how much instant ramen you ate or how long you stayed at work to keep yourself busy. His silence was directly proportional to your uneasiness, but you refused to connect the dots.

Until tonight.

Faster than light, your head snapped back at the singer to avoid being seen. Reason overlapped panic as you assessed the damage. That mind-reading snake was right, you felt something beyond physical for him. At least now, fully aware of the issue, you could fix it. Keeping a cool head, you devised a plan of action. It was imperative to eliminate those thoughts before they infected your brain any further, to show both him and yourself that your interest was merely a passing malaise, like a cold or an indigestion. You just needed to find the right medicine for it.

“You okay there? You look like you either had an epiphany or smoked the worst weed in Seoul.”

Taehyung’s voice was low in your ear and you realised the lack of distance between the two. Feeling him chuckle, you looked up at him. You’d forgotten he was even there, hands still low on your waist. In a feeble attempt to regain some control over yourself, you grabbed the shirt over his taut stomach and swallowed hard. Half-lidded, he tongued the corner of his mouth revealing a smug smile. No wonder people lost their shit about him. He looked bewitching and fun, but most importantly, uncomplicated. The perfect remedy for your stupid, stupid heart.

“Kiss me,” you blurted, eyes locked on the mark at the edge of his lower lip.

“What?”

A quick glance back at the door and you frowned before closing the distance to press your mouth roughly on his. For a second, he seemed confused, but then responded eagerly to the kiss. When you pulled back, panting and determined, he tongued the corner of his mouth in amusement.

“Not complaining, but where did all that ‘I don’t make out with my buddies’ philosophy go?”

“As far as buddies go, you’re the shittiest one I have. Not much of a loss there,” you joked, shifting your weight impatiently. Now of all times, Tae had to grow friendship ethics. Although you should’ve praised his character development, right now was a rather inconvenient moment to be a gentleman. What you needed was a distraction in the form of an unapologetic fuckboy. Fast.

Luck on your side, Taehyung just grinned cheekily, happy to indulge your sudden neediness, and tipped his head towards the crowd. He let you guide him through Dionysus, to a dark spot where you’d fuse with the stench of sweat and bad ideas.

“Gimme a minute, ok? Don’t move!” Shortie greeted with a warm smile, waving above intoxicated laughs and the strings of an old song’s bass.

Seokjin nodded and leaned on the counter, avoiding the alcohol spilt all over it. Dionysus was especially crowded that night, which only made scanning the multitude in hopes to find you harder.

After your last conversation, he gave you some space, a chance to miss him. On paper, it was a good strategy. What he didn’t expect was his plan backfiring. After a couple of weeks of self-restraint, his will power ran out. He missed you. Instead of working on his next project as he should’ve, his car brought him across Seoul to you —his personal bittersweet pill. He couldn't help but smile, even when the air reeked of sweat and the sticky floor threatened to peel off the red of his soles. What wouldn’t one of those sensationalists that defamed him give to publicly gut him for his new-found addiction. Those ever-changing eyes that begged him to keep trying despite your constant rejection made quitting you impossible. Only if you would see it too.

“Now, I’m all yours. Sorry to make you wait,” said the petite bartender, already pouring his usual drink. “I’m happy to see you, it’s been a while.”

“Work has been busy lately. No help tonight?”

“If you mean it in a ‘ is my hot-ass crush here? ’ kind of way, she is,” your friend said, catching his intentions easily. Not that he put any effort in masking them, constantly looking around the place for you. “I don’t know where she went, though. She was sitting over there just a moment a— what the...?”

Seokjin followed her gaze, fixed intently somewhere behind him. Your body pressed against someone’s, fingers buried in blonde hair. Unable to look away, he watched a mouth clash against yours before traveling down your neck.

“Oh, Jin, I’m sorry. This dumbhead, I don’t know what’s gotten into her. Taehyung? Really? He’s like her little brother.”

I’m pretty sure “little brothers” don’t stick their tongues down your throat . Shortie kept talking in the background, probably making excuses for you. To his surprise, the first thing he felt wasn’t anger or jealousy, but something close to satisfaction. An odd sense of pride filled his chest every time the blonde touched you where he had before, when he kissed over the skin he had marked as his already.

The man turned the two of you around, giving Seokjin a perfect view of your backside. Long fingers travelled down your spine, cupping your delicious ass with a rough squeeze. The same ass he remembered perking back for more despite the leftover sting his palm left behind. He couldn’t shake the vibrant shade of red he created that night, nor the soft whines you sang for him. Pretty eyes clouded with lust as you came on top of him, now etched in his memory forever —along with the iciness you left behind on his sheets the morning after.

With a fist full of his leather jacket, you laughed. Seokjin could tell it didn’t quite reach your eyes. In fact, it seemed like the attention on the man in front of you was only half-hearted.

Yes, he noticed the pink tint on your cheeks, the hips grinding on a thigh clad in ripped jeans and shortened breaths. But he was also aware of your eyes bouncing around the pub distractedly as your companion nipped your jaw. A smirk tugged on Seokjin’s lips. He’d seen withdrawal before, when his mother quit smoking. Gum could not replace a cigarette and a toyboy could not replace him.

Meanwhile, you kept trying to redirect your wandering thoughts to Taehyung, who locked lips once again, sucking on your lower one. Closing your eyes, you attempted to concentrate solely on his tongue on your mouth. The air was humid, too many bodies in one room. It stuck to your skin the same way it did at the club with Seokjin, but somehow thicker. Tae smelled rich and exotic, nothing like the subtle sweetness of his surely expensive cologne. You remember because it lingered on your skin the morning after, along with the marks he imprinted all over your body. You weren’t as excited for Taehyung to leave his.

Catching your train of thought, you emptied your mind and only allowed pleasure to invade it. You left out a sigh at the hot pressure running through your veins as his thigh flexed against your core just right. It was all you needed at that moment, a nice body against yours to fight the infection of Kim Seokjin. Large hands roamed your body, brushing your breasts on their way up to your hair and tangled there to deepen the kiss. Just when you had achieved the perfect balance between numbing everything around you and enjoying the feeling, the blonde whispered hotly in your ear. His low grumble shook you out of your blissed state, crumbling any prospect of eluding reality.

All of the sudden you found the spicy kisses bland. A light frown etched between your eyebrows when you studied his profile. It dawned on you that it was Taehyung who just told you to come all over his jeans. Taehyung. The same guy who sent you stupid memes while taking a shit because “he was bored”. Fuck, you even came close to orgasming in front of him. Because of him. You winced at the thought. What a genius idea, 15-minutes-ago you. Way to go.

About to detangle from his hold to apologise for the impromptu makeout session —a damn good one, true, but probably scarring for life— he beat you to it. Hands still around you, he arched an eyebrow over your shoulder.

“Hey, man. Want something?” he rasped out.

“The lady and I need to talk.”

Great . Just fucking peachy. You took a steady breath before turning around, putting a bit of space between you and your friend. The first thing you noticed was Seokjin’s piercing gaze, squinting slightly from how intently he looked at you.

“Do we now?” you questioned acidly, wearing your best unfazed visage.

Seokjin looked damn fine tonight. Hands casually in his pockets and the gleam of his silver watch just showing. In that position his shoulders squared further. The urge to bite along the curves leading up to his neck rose out of nowhere. You really needed a cold shower.

He smirked at your response, as if he knew your deepest, dirtiest secrets.

“Yes, we do,” a command more than anything else. Still, you recognised the glint of playfulness in the black coffee of his eyes. The one you foolishly claimed for yourself, even though he probably used it on other girls. “Leave the puppy behind and let’s go outside. It’s too loud in here.”

“Who the hell is this jerk again?” Tae enquired dryly, offended by the nickname. He placed a hand on your hip, squeezing slightly to regain your attention.

You jumped slightly at the contact. Seokjin’s eyes snapped up, acknowledging his presence behind you, still too close. The sharp edge of his jaw rolled in annoyance, almost imperceptibly, but he was quick to smooth it with light-hearted indifference.

“The only reason she’s making out with you, kid.”

Amidst the deafening ambiance, you heard a pin drop. There was a beat of silence, tension so high it took you both a moment to register. Then, Taehyung stepped forward, moving you aside. He was not a fighter, despite what one may think with that foul mouth and attitude of his, but he had no problem in punching a douchebag.

“The fuck did you say?”

“Tae,” you stopped, catching his arm. Seokjin remained unaffected, holding the younger’s glare with neutral expression. “Please, don’t. Just go, I’ll deal with the asshole.”

Brows still furrowed, he studied you for a moment with scepticism. “You sure?”

“Yeah, look I—” You pulled him closer, so you could talk to him more privately. No need for Seokjin to hear anything that could be used against you later. “I’m sorry. About all of this, I mean. I shouldn’t have kissed you tonight when there’s other, um, stuff on my mind. I needed something to help me unwind and you were here so... ”

“Five more minutes and you might’ve ‘unwound’ all the way.”

Your face burned immediately, aware of his lingering taste and the stickiness between your thighs. Pure joy bloomed on his lips at your reaction.

“Back to the whole friend thing?”

“Sure,” he shrugged, “but you owe me a beer for the semi.”

With that, he nodded at Seokjin in some sort of solemn bro code and the older reciprocated. Men’s short grudge-holding span was always fascinating to witness. He waved both of you goodbye, as if the awkward situation had never happened. Trust Taehyung not to really give a fuck. He was the best at it.

You eyed Seokjin up and down and snaked through the crowd towards the back exit without a word. He followed closely the trail you opened, people too distracted to care if their drinks spilled when you shoulder them. Not sure if you felt angry, relieved, mortified, confused, scared shitless or all of the above, you avoided looking back to check if Seokjin was still there. How did a fun night out with your friends end up like this? You were at home and ready to order a nutritionist’s worst nightmare. You coming to Dio, right? The boys perform tonight. Pretty pleeeease?🥺 That cursed text was to blame. Whoever invented best friends should be sued.

The difference in temperature made you shiver when you stepped out of the pub. A single bulb illuminated the alley, rain puddles and broken glass reflecting its dim light. The night was calm. Not a single siren wailed, like they usually did. Only the constant boom of the bass drum could be heard now, noise muffled underwater, as the door closed behind Seokjin. Your own pulse followed the rhythm, feeling the vibrations deep in your chest.

“Why are you here?” you finally asked. “Just to ruin my night or did you make a sport of being a jerk?”

“Doing you a favour. It didn’t look like you were having a good time,” he answered, amused. You could almost see the ‘I know when you are’ itching to follow.

“That’s not for you to decide. Go home.”

“Not without you.”

His wolfish smirk stretched as he threw a wink. A bit late to try to lift the mood, in your opinion. He seemed to forget that the world didn’t revolve around his stupid, handsome face. It happened at the nyotaimori event, and it happened tonight. Even if you would’ve ended up alone anyway, he had no right to come all the way to Dionysus to mess with your head and ruin your plans —said plans being to drink the embarrassment of almost fucking Taehyung away. Still, he shouldn’t have interfered. You shouldn’t have tried to relax your emotional cramp with Tae either, but it was his mistakes you wanted to focus on, not yours.

“I missed that frown of yours, sushi girl.”

Unaware that you’d been scowling, your arms crossed in self-defense.

“Listen, you can’t just barge in on my life every time you’re bored,” you chided. “Get a hobby, plant a tree or whatever. Didn’t you like fishing? Go do that. Just don’t bother me.”

His features softened slightly. “You remember.”

How could you forget the half an hour rant at the burger joint? Truth be told, you did disconnect half-way, but you recall his somewhat boyish excitement as he gave you a whole monograph on baits. Also the fish puns, those you recall with painful accuracy.

“Just because you are full of yourself enough to have your ears clogged doesn't mean that mine are.”

He shook his head and laughed at your comment. When he stood in front of you to brush a stray strand out of your face, you froze for a second. The tenderness of the gesture was suffocating, his gaze on yours too. No matter how hard you tried to keep distance, Seokjin always found a way to close it. You wanted to run.

His eyes fell on your lips for a moment, intense and wanting. Suddenly that sliver of fondness evaporated from them as something else caught his attention. A hand slid down to your neck and his thumb wiped there repeatedly as if he wanted to clean the spot. Once again, his jaw tensed and his stare grew jet black. Swallowing hard, you felt your cheeks reddening both at his touch and the admonishing tut he gave. He was glaring at what you assumed was a hickey left there by Taehyung. Irrefutable proof of your useless attempt to escape the itch that was Seokjin. Because he was exactly that —a maddening, unreachable itch that one cannot assuage.

“Don’t you think it’s cruel to toy with that Kurt Cobain wannabe?” The tone remained teasing, but his hard, steel stare gave away his mood. He’d never felt jealousy before, and it tasted dry and sour. “He might get the idea that you’re interested.”

You held his gaze, puffing with cockiness to disguise any sign of guilt. “I wouldn’t worry about him, he gets what casual means. Ask him for pointers on that.”

“You think I don’t?” he chuckled airly, brow raising. “I’ve had plenty of that, believe me. But this? Us ? Nothing casual about it, sweet cheeks. I told you already: I like you. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Perfect teeth on display, he smiled at you. Selfish bastard, airing those words so carelessly. He gave the impression of a teacher explaining the slowest student how to do simple math, not a man admitting his feelings. Yet, the confession sounded brutally sweet in the quiet back alley. Perhaps the beer still buzzing was to blame or the opiate smell of his cologne coating your senses, but you wondered if it would be that bad to believe him. Then reality poured on you like tar. Even if he did feel like he said, it wasn’t worth the risk. He’d grow tired eventually and leave, like everyone else. He’d ask why couldn’t you be sweet and shy like his exes. He’d tell you that he would never introduce someone like you to his parents. He’d text saying that he would come home late after work, night after night. He’d call you a slut because ‘don’t lie to me, I saw you flirting’ with someone’s panties in his back pocket still. Every time you were naive enough to catch feelings, you’d paid for your stupidity tenfold and ended up hurt and broken. You wouldn’t go through it all again.

“There’s no us ,” you reminded both him and you.

“We should change that, then,” he offered with a shrug. “I want us.”

The fucker knew how to play the strings of your heart, a master puppeteer with the cruelest intentions. Every word was a shiver of excitement that pooled in your uneasy stomach. It felt a lot like love and it was terrifying. Love always faded into ugly crying, ice-cream and vodka. Cornered against your own crumbling walls, you transformed your mixed feelings into bitterness.

“I don’t know what kind of spoiled-prince fantasy you live in, but in the real world people don’t always get what they want. Shocking, I know. Get a whisky to swallow that crazy fact and leave me alone.”

You shoved him away and walked back towards the door, desperate for Seokjin-less air. The pressure in your lungs was suffocating.

“Don’t run away, let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing left to say, rich boy. I told you I don’t play couples anymore.” Seokjin snorted, surely about to make a quick retort, but you cut him. “Find someone else for your little rom-com attempt. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going back in to find a man who can fuck me and not catch feelings after the first kiss like a Disney princess.”

“I’m not sure if your goal is to hurt me or make me lose interest, sweet cheeks, but it’s not working,” he stated, low grit in his tone. “Push me away all you want, I’m not letting my perfect woman slip through my fingers. Not when I know you feel the same way I do.”

You should’ve left and forgotten about him, but you took the bait.

“Oh, please, enlighten me. How’s that exactly?”

“Restless. Every fucking second of the day. Wondering if I’d laugh at the joke I just told or if I’d enjoy the new restaurant you’re at. Tired and grumpy, because you want me lying next to you so bad that you can’t sleep at night. Frustrated, because the moment we kissed, I ruined everyone else for you.”

You snorted, amused both at the accuracy of his words and how much they irritated you. Hopefully he’d assume you were mocking him. It had to be some sort of superpower, there was no other way he could read you so effortlessly. With every layer of sarcasm he peeled you felt more naked, more vulnerable to his sharp sweet nothings. Falling for him felt inevitable and you were afraid of crash-landing.

“Maybe you didn’t see me making out with a guy literally 5 minutes ago.”

“Oh, I did, sweet cheeks,” he said slowly, taking a step towards you. His lips curled upwards and you swallowed hard at the sight. He was hypnotic, expensive clothes fitting like a second skin. What an awful moment for your legs to become butter. “I saw his sloppy tongue on your mouth and you not smiling at him like you do with me. I saw how you kissed him just to take me out of your head.”

Your retreat ended quickly when your back bumped into the door you had been so determined to walk through. Emergency exit now blocked, the only strategy left was to hold your ground. And you would’ve, but the beating of your heart drowned any coherent thought. He stopped when the tips of his shoes kissed yours. Lifting your chin up, you tried to swallow the sand in your throat to no avail. Seokjin propped his hands on each side of your head, the slow tempo of his movements almost theatrical. Spikes of anticipation raised all over your skin. As he caged you, his eyes leveled with yours. You saw a glimmer of triumph in them, lips stretched in a self-satisfied grin. Maybe you could bite it off, kiss him hard enough to erase it.

“Careful, your ego is showing.”

“Your bluff too,” he countered.

The poorly lit alley stayed silent for hours in the little bubble your words created. Stray raindrops that slid from the rooftops hit the ground uncomfortably loud. Perhaps it was just your percepcion. Seokjin held your glare with blazing determination. It was useless, you couldn’t convince him to leave. Around him you felt made out of glass, he saw through every lie and every rejection. You were love-sick and you both knew. There was no miracle remedy, no snake oil to cure this heart infection —it spread too deep already. The further away you tried to stay out of love, the deeper you got in it. The poetic irony might just as well slap an ‘I was here’ sticker on your forehead.

With a heavy sigh you accepted defeat.

“What do you want from me, Jin?”

Your whisper came out as a plea. Arms went limp on your sides, exhausted. ‘ Please, be gentle ,’ you wanted to say. Even if the words never came out, Seokjin understood. Your features stiffened as you braced yourself for the blow, ready to take the hit. You looked too fragile, too beaten. He hated it. Seokjin felt the need to hold you and make all the promises he intended to keep. He’d be there to lull you to sleep if you cried, to share your smiles, to lift you when you fell, to say ‘sorry’ every time he’d fuck up and ‘it’s ok’ when you did. A four-letter word burned his throat like alcohol, but he wouldn’t voice it —he didn’t want to scare you away.

“Right now? I want to kiss you. I want to take you home and take my time eating you out to get whatever doubt you might have about me, about us, out of your system. I want to make you come while you scream my name and forget that stupid idiot and any other idiot before him. I want to fuck you slow to make you understand how much you want me and then hard to show you how much I need you.” He inched even closer, trapping your eyes with his so you could read his heart in them. “I want to find you beside me in the morning and make a routine out of it. I want you to laugh at my naked butt in an apron while I make breakfast and fuck you again and again in the kitchen until you to beg me to never let go.”

He paused, lifting a hand to cup your cheek. His eyes fleeted down as his lips ghosted yours, tickling the skin with his breath, and then back up for his next words.

“I want everything with you.”

You were desperate to close the distance in a kiss, drown in his words. Techno beat pounded in your chest so loud that you thought something might explode. Everything . You wanted that too.

“Jin, I…” as you talked, your lips graced his. He looked at you intently, pupils completely blown and a choked gasp escaped him at the brief contact. The hand on your face tensed, showing you his neediness. It only spurred yours. “I’ve tried this before and it never turns out well.”

“Not with me, sweet cheeks.”

“I’m scared. What if—?”

“Don’t be,” he cut with a smile and a wink. “You’re stuck with me. I promise.”

Tired of fighting a lost battle, you gave in. Your body moved on its own and you closed the barely-existing space between you, sealing your mouth and his with a kiss. There was urgency in his response, as his tongue immediately asked for permission. He kissed you with a starved need that you were quickly to match. His kisses were ardent, numbing you from anything outside Seokjin. Every doubt and heartbreak died where he started. Eager to taste you, he bit your lips until they puffed. Although neither of you couldn’t get enough of it, there was something gentle in your passion. His arms encased you and brought you close enough to fuse with him. Muscle memory laced your fingers to his dark hair, disheveling its perfect shape into whatever you wanted, and your hips grounded his. You molded together in a frenzy of desire. It was satisfying to see every limb and kiss back in place, exactly where they were meant to be. Like one of those compilation videos, it was addicting. The only thing missing was his bare skin on yours to make the moment perfect.

As you got lost in him, his words filled your head, triggering a moan that Seokjin drank with devotion. Perhaps it was foolish, but you let yourself believe him. No flowers, no romantic music in the background, just sincerity in his eyes as he said them. He didn’t paint a movie-like romance where every day would be perfect. He didn’t swear a life of never-ending happiness or vowed to never hurt you. No, he made one promise: that he’d be there. The effortless conviction in that one promise told you that he’d stay and try, that he’d fight for you. He was stubborn and persistent enough for you to trust him. Besides, he always kept his promises before.

Now that you allowed what you felt for him to flow freely, you couldn’t cointan it. He flipped your world upside down. You wanted to tell him what an irritating, fun, conceited, irresistible prick he was, that sometimes you would choke him and others you would kiss him until your lips drew blood, that with him you felt the barest you’ve ever been, but also the safest. Words weren’t enough to express all that, so you kissed him fervently and urged him closer, your heartbeat reverberating in his chest, to show him instead. He grunted, immersed in you and those words you didn’t speak. No need for it, he heard them in the way you moaned and pressed against his hardened cock, seeking desperately some kind of friction. Your hands roamed his shoulders, crinkling the material of his shirt. He felt so yearned for that he forgot to breathe. When his lungs couldn’t take it anymore, Seokjin broke the kiss, missing it the moment cold air hit his wet lips. You whined at the loss, but allowed yourself a moment to recover. Panting heavily, you both stared at each other. At that moment, he looked perfect. Dishevelled and void of that cold mask he wore most of the time, it was the final shot you could take —you were recklessly and catastrophically in love, with no hope of recovery. All that fight you put up, just to lose anyway. What a poor soldier you’d make. With a breathy laugh you rested your forehead on his chin, which brought a bright smile. Still trying to get some air, he kissed your hairline tenderly as he brushed back flyaway strands. Your fingers mimicked the intimate gesture, drawing circles on the nape of his long neck.

“By the way, I don’t beg,” you quipped suddenly, lifting your head so he could see the arch on your brow and a half bitten smirk. The moment was getting too soppy already.

“You look like you enjoy new experiences.”

A wink and a kiss and then you were in his arms again, hidden in your newfound shelter as it started to drizzle in the back alley of Dionysus.

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: @aretha170

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ, ᴇᴅɪᴛ ᴏʀ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ © hear-me-growl, October 2020

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thattimdrakeguy · 3 years

Photo

This is a really random PSA or what ever you wanna call it. (Post-writing it. I’m just going to call it a very long exasperated vent.)

But I was going through my old photos (hence why I randomly posted a picture of my eye. It’s a zoom in of a photo I took a few weeks ago maybe if even), and I found this.

I only sent this to one guy at the time. No one else really knew besides maybe my therapist (I’m thinking I didn’t speak to them for quite a time at this point cause they were busy and this was early covid stuff when I doodled this out. Yes I fucking know it looks like horse shit, but I’ll cram a xylophone into you through the back end. I was having a mental breakdown for fucks sake.).

So no one really knew, and believe it or not, I don’t make a total idiot out of myself each time I get depressed.

Though I will say I don’t think I used the word spazzed right, and I think saying spaz in-general is really not cool, but I didn’t know it at the time so I apologize for that. Haven’t used it since I learned that unless I’m thinking of something else. Or at least assumed cause it comes from spastic and what not. (Basically I feel weird if I just left that sitting there.)

Point I’m trying to say though is, if you do have real friends, it’s always healthier to tell someone as it’s happening.

Cause later on I straight up wrote a suicide note. Which I’m not gonna share cause that’s a bit too personal of me, and I just straight up didn’t tell anyone. I posted it on my Twitter that barely anyone checks cause I barely ever use it, and my friends just happened to see it.

Had a cop on me, cause my friends called my local police department to do a check on me. I had to get my friend to call them and call it off actually.

It’s just better to get it out in a setting where you can control it and ease it out more easier. Not everyone is at a point where they can just do that, but I’m not saying it as a rule and it shouldn’t be taken as a sign that you’re too late if you can’t do that. Cause I don’t think at the time I wrote that stuff I’d be fine with it.

The suicide note thing having like a year ago, and I don’t think I really mentioned it on the blog until a time where barely anyone would see it which was on purpose, if I even did do that, cause I mostly just remember saying “I had the cops called on me” cause I needed to vent while not letting everyone I knew that I nearly died and they wouldn’t have known.

I’m not the guy to write a PSA, this is more of just me venting cause it’s around the time of a very shitty anniversary. Just trying to say, be better to yourself, life sucks so much, don’t end yours and make it shitty for other people, find the right people to help improve your life instead. Life is hard, but if you can hold out long enough and manage the struggle, it is worth it.

Life is a struggle, life is an obstacle, but it’s also where you’ll find the people you love to be around, and the rewards that will make some things feel worth it.

It’s a complicated thing.

#TW Suicidal Ideation #TW Suicide #TW Suicide Mention

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b-rainlet · 4 years

Note

Just want to say I love your blog. Your TUA content is lovely and I can't say what a breath of fresh air it is to find another Luther champion. The fandoms treatment of him, istg, some of the most ludacris nonsense I've ever had to read. Especially love how you point out he's ALWAYS been so sweet and selfless when it comes to Allison and her personal happiness. Anyway I saw you say you seem confident alluther will actually happen. I sure hope so, but why do you figure? The antis are so loud.

Awwwww, thank you anon, you’re so sweet! Yeah, this blog is on 24/7 loving Luther lockdown! I feel like the antis are easing up a little bit after S2 aired because most of Luther’s scenes were used as comedic relief and the faves he was clashing with (Diego and Vanya) seem to have a better relationship with him now, so it’s not as bad anymore, but I have to admit I never ever go into the main tag so I can’t be 100% sure.

Maybe you should try looking through the ‘Luther Protection Squad’ tag to find some more like-minded people? I swear there are more of us out there!

But to come to the Alluther question:

I know that the antis are loud and I’ve noticed that most of them have counted S2 as a win for them, talking about how Allison ‘moved on’ and how Alluther won’t happen but I disagree (and I will now launch into a rambly post about why lmao).

WARNING: CONTAINS S2 SALT. PROCEED WITH CAUTION

All of this is based on the assumption though that they will be somewhat consistent in their writing regarding Alluther and S2 taught me that that isn’t very likely, so maybe I’m completely wrong and Alluther will never ever be mentioned in S3, but based on what happened so far, I could see them as an endgame couple.

I mean in S1 they were a pretty big plot point so I don’t think I have to say anything about that but even though the Alluther scenes have been toned down in S2 they were there.

Let’s see what antis would say about why Alluther won’t happen:

Allison is married

And? Allison has been married before and still mentioned comparing every man she ever loved/dated to Luther. Allison has been married and she has had a kid with another guy and still Alluther was going strong.

Not to mention that the end of this season has made it very clear we won’t see Raymond again.

Raymond (and Sissy) are temporary love interests for this particular season and both of them cannot leave their timeline without majorly fucking things up - at least according to Five, but the whole timetravel rules can change at the drop of a hat - but more importantly, both of them had a talk with their respective lovers about wanting to stay in their timeline.

So unless Allison will return to the 60s (which doesn’t seem likely tbh), Raymond is gone for good.

Raymond was her true love tho! Like Klave!

I don’t think antis actually word it like this but I’ve noticed how all of them hopped onto the Almond train immediately and keep gushing about how good and cute they are and that’s great! You can ship what you wanna ship! But I think a lot of the love for this ship has to do with how it prevents Alluther from happening. If Allison is deeply in love with this wholesome man, she can’t ever like her brother.

But tbh….I didn’t buy Almond. For two people who are happily married they crumble and burn awfully fast.

And tbh, I was thinking about making a post about this so I’m gonna add this rant here but I just wanna preface this with the fact that I don’t hate them and I don’t hate people who ship them, I’m just….using this opportunity to poke some hole into their relationship.

I think it would’ve been more believable if Raymond and Allison would be in the early stages of dating while all of S2 goes down. Think about it.

They are married? After one year? I mean, as far as I know, Allison has been in the 60s for about two years - since Luther was the first one who arrived and he spent 3 years there??? But I am not fact-checking this, so correct me if I’m wrong - so she had time to get used to being there, adjust to having no voice, meet Raymond, fall in love with him and get married to him.

And considering she could already talk again it must’ve have been a while before she started talking to/dating Raymond? I don’t think a wound like that wouldn’t take a while to heal but with this show’s consistency, maybe it did.

I was actually hoping Allison would stay mute for a while longer but alas

So, they got married pretty fast imo, and you could argue that it’s the 60s but

Allison isn’t from the 60s

Allison just got out of a bad marriage. There’s like, a year?? maybe?? between her first marriage and her second one and tbh, I don’t think Allison would get married again so fast, tying herself to someone again almost immediately, especially if you consider what getting married in the 60s means for a woman and her personal freedom (it’s hinted at with Sissy but not with Allison and even though Raymond was probably a good husband who let her have her freedom and her say in things - as we can see with their movement - it’s still the 60s. Women couldn’t earn their own money. They couldn’t even spend any money without having to ask their husband. They were basically property of their husband and I can’t believe Allison would immediately jump back into being married, no matter how nice and good the guy is).

“That just means it’s true love! That’s why their marriage may seem rushed!”

Yeah true love. I also keep secrets from my true love.

I mean, I understand that Allison couldn’t start talking about time travel or Raymond would’ve started thinking she’s crazy or something - and maybe would’ve sent her to a mental institution as is his right as a husband, so good idea getting married! - but she didn’t mention stuff like “I had a child.” or “I lost my family.” either and those are vague enough to not raise questions.

I mean, she could’ve lied! She could’ve said Claire is dead, which considering the apocalypse was what they were escaping is true!

She could’ve talked about how she had a family, but they kinda lost each other - maybe talking about how they all moved away and she doesn’t know where they are now, even though she misses them terribly.

I mean, I simply can’t believe that she had to grief for her own child all on her own and she didn’t even tell her husband (and she couldn’t even properly be sad about it since Raymond and her lived together, so she probably didn’t have many moments where she could think about the future and the things she lost without the possibility of being walked in on).

And how much it would’ve meant if there would’ve been a scene of her crying over Claire when she thinks she’s alone, but alas.

Then there’s also the whole added drama to their relationship. Which was btw, so unnecessary.

@showwriters: Why do you establish a relationship you obviously want to be viewed as full of love and instead of letting it be the steady rock the character can lean on during all the already ongoing chaos, you add drama to it and let it fall apart as a side plot which immensely suffers from not being shown/explored enough.

I mean, we already have relationship drama with Vanya/Sissy and that relationship feels more natural because their obstacles are outside forces and not...one of them distrusting the other.

You know, I get why Raymond is suspicious, I totally do! I just don’t think it makes the relationship believable.

Once again, if they would’ve been in the early stages of dating and suddenly Allison’s weird brothers appear and she seems to be in cahoots with the cops, I would also think ‘???’ and it would’ve made perfect sense for Raymond to be confused and distrustful and not want to talk to Allison.

But they’re married. They’re married and they vowed to love each other in sickness and in health and yet Raymond immediately jumps to ‘Allison is a spy’.

The woman you love enough to marry. That’s your first thought. Okay.

(And if you wanna compare that to Vissy...Vanya suddenly drives off in the night to meet her family and disappears for a while and she apparently did something to Harlan and now he’s behaving weirdly and has powers….and she’s talking about taking Sissy and him to the future…..and yet….Sissy trusted Vanya).

And tbh, I was done with their whole relationship the moment Allison spent the whole night calling every single hospital, trying to find out whether her husband was in one of them - was even alive - in tears and close to breaking down because the last time she saw him they were both involved in a riot and the possibility of him being in jail or hurt is very high only to find out…..

…..he had a meeting with their group without telling her because he doesn’t trust her.

And what? He couldn’t have called her to at least tell her he’s okay and he’s gonna stay somewhere else overnight because shady shit did just go down that they need to discuss but he wants to be alone for now? That’s the bare minimum and yet he doesn’t do that. He doesn’t even call to make sure she is okay since running away doesn’t mean she couldn’t have accidentally been dragged into a brawl and hurt.

Once again: They are married.

So tbh, all I got from this relationship is the feeling that Allison simply didn’t wanna be alone in this new timeline and that isn’t an explicit point against Alluther.

Okay, but….Allison moved on! So she still won’t get with Luther!

Did she? Did she really? I don’t think so. I mean, one of the first things we get from Allison aside from ‘She’s married’ is ‘She looks at the moon so often, her husband notices and gets her a book related to that’.

That’s one of the most blatant ways they could’ve said: ‘She misses Luther.’

And Luther only. Not the whole family, Luther. If they wanted to somehow make this platonic or familial, they wouldn’t have taken the character she is canonly interested in romantically (which she is and has been since S1, no matter what antis say).

I mean, if they only wanted to show ‘She misses her family’ they could’ve added a scene where she listens to the kid next door playing the violin or sees a boy in schoolboy shorts or maybe mistakes someone for Diego or whatever, endless possibilities. But they didn’t.

They made it very clear she misses Luther and I don’t think she had a scene that shows her missing any of her other siblings in such a way (which is btw paralleled by the scene where Luther mistakes someone for Allison, which is also the only scene where he’s shown thinking about one of his siblings to the point he thinks he sees them - as far as I remember).

But that’s probably only a coincidence, right?

Then there’s them meeting for the first time. I mean, they hug and the rest of the world disappears.

They took the time to shoot/cut this scene in a way that, when Allison and Luther hug after years of not seeing each other, everyone else isn’t in the shot anymore and it’s just them. Because they tried to make this as platonic as possible.

(In comparison, Allison and Diego don’t even hug. And Klaus and Allison do hug and it’s a happy moment but there is no romantic music and it’s more focused on them being happy to see each other and not framed as a romantic scene. I mean, I have no clue regarding things like ‘motifs’ and ‘scenery’ but just watch those two hug scenes back to back and you know what I mean).

Then the scene proceeds and they talk and sit down and Luther mentions her marriage and Allison tries to apologize.

Just think about that. She doesn’t outright apologize but she does try to explain why she got married by saying how hard it was and is only stopped by Luther telling her he’s glad she wasn’t alone.

How….how can you read that as a platonic convo between brother and sister? Just replace Luther with Klaus. Why would she feel the need to explain herself and seems guilty about being married? Is it because it implies she gave up on finding her family? If so, that would be her reaction with every sibling but she is explicitly like this with Luther. She tells Klaus she’s married too, and in that scene it’s definitely a ‘siblings catching up’ moment and it’s a happy moment and she doesn’t seem apologetic about being married.

She is with Luther.

Because they both know that there’s something between them and has been for a long time, to the point that Allison is visibly jealous when Luther has other relationships (his one-night-stand in S1) and this is the second time Allison has turned towards another man instead of waiting for Luther. And that’s why she tries to apologize. That’s why she tries to explain that she couldn’t know whether they - whether Luther - would ever show up, so she tried her best to move on - but she didn’t really, hence the moon scene.

(This is also the scene where Luther could’ve been angry with her - and she probably would’ve thought he’s in the right - since during the days leading up to the apocalypse it seemed like they were slowly working towards being together - even if the kiss never happened, there’s still the phone booth scene which is basically Luther confessing his feelings - and now she once again leaves him standing alone, waiting for her to possibly return to him.

But he isn’t, he just tells her he’s glad that she wasn’t alone. Because he is the actual embodiment of a gentleman and this world doesn’t deserve him).

And this is just what I remember from watching the season once and then not really engaging with it, I can’t understand how antis can see those scenes and come to entirely different conclusions. But I guess, you really only see what you wanna see, huh?

But, but…...Incest is disguting! Even their siblings think so!

They don’t. They really don’t. There’s a gifset on tumblr somewhere compiling the scenes in S1 that show how chill the sibs are with Alluther, but let’s disregard those and just focus on S2 since they changed up a lot from the prior season and antis seem to think S2 was them finally saying ‘No Alluther’.

I guess there’s the hair salon scene where Vanya, Klaus and Allison talk about relationships and Klaus lightly teases Allison for liking Luther.

Now, he mentions Allison crushing on their brother in the same sentence where he talks about Vanya and her ‘Farmfrau’ and unless I missed it, he doesn’t change his voice. He doesn’t suddenly sound completely disgusted, or like he wants to vomit or whatever people think, so either, he thinks Vissy is as ‘disgusting’ as Alluther, or, he thinks both are simply relationships his sibs are interested in pursuing and he teases them about them like a sibling may do.

And then you have Allison’s reaction.

She doesn’t go: ‘Oh yeah, that was gross, what was I thinking’, she doesn’t make a face or disgusted noises or what, no, she tries to defend herself and her feelings.

Which tells us:

Despite popular belief to disregard Allison’s say in the Alluther relationship, she wants the relationship and she is obvious enough about it their siblings know (and Klaus makes it a point to say ‘Allison is into Luther’ and not ‘Luther likes Allison and Allison tolerates it).

Alluther is brought up while they talk about current relationships, implying Allison still feels this way (especially because the way she reacts doesn’t make it seem like it’s a long over relationship with no longer relevant feelings. But again, I watched the season once and I don’t remember everything that was said. I think this is telling enough though).

So..tell me again how everyone thinks Alluther is disgusting?

By now anon is thinking: ‘What is the point of all this rambling?’

And yeah, I am sorry for going way too into detail but I just wanted to make it clear that if the writers were intend on killing Alluther off in S2 - like antis believe - then everything I just mentioned wouldn’t have happened.

(And that’s without even mentioning the cpr scene).

Alluther did get reduced but it didn’t vanish even though they decided to completely erase other things (like Claire and Eudora who are barely or not at all mentioned or things like Kliego being very close).

This would’ve been the best opportunity! They re-meet in the 60s and Allison is happily married and takes the time to tell Luther he should move on. Or both are single and Luther tries to ask where they’re standing and whether she would like to try with him and she goes ‘This would be a mistake’ and that’s it.

(I am making Allison the one who ends things because it would be ooc for Luther to just end the possible relationship after waiting for Allison for years and there needs to be some consistency even in the mess that was S2).

But! This didn’t happen!

Alluther is more or less back where it was in S1. Allison isn’t in a relationship anymore and won’t get back with the guy and Luther loves her no matter what. And the cheek kiss seems to leave them both on a hopeful note of finally getting together.

So unless they use S3 to once again redo the show, it feels like Alluther is set up to be endgame. Like, I am getting ‘star-crossed lovers’ vibes where you’re just waiting for them to finally get together - because they just belong - but things keep getting in the way.

You could compare it Diego/Lila in that regard, I think it’s pretty obvious those two are gonna end up together too.

I have another ask about how they could get together, where I will definitely ramble more, but this shall be it for now. I hope it was halfway consistent. (And doesn’t have too many typos, I’m too lazy to check).

Also the formatting is shit but idc, I spent like two hours on this

#Alluther #tua s2 spoilers #anti tua s2 #Long post

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laurawritesandgames · 4 years

Text

A Day Late, Sorry!

Title: Reefer Madness

Fandom: Beetlejuice (Musical)

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Beetlejuice/Adam/Barbara, mention of Charles/Delia

Prompt: Parenting

Content Warning: Set during coronavirus pandemic, underage drug use

Summary: When Lydia is caught smoking pot, the Maitland-Deetz household has to come up with a punishment. But how do you discipline a teen during a pandemic? And will Beetlejuice even let the parents (and ghostly parental figures) punish his BFF?

The door to the Maitland-Deetz home opened. Lydia came in, wearing her mask and gloves, with Beetlejuice hovering beside her.

Barbara stopped mixing cookie dough to say hello. “How did it go?” The Maitland-Deetz adults had agonized about letting Lydia go to a class picnic organized by Claire Brewster’s mother during a pandemic.

Claire’s mother had tried to make the picnic as safe as possible. She and a few other parents were chaperones, everyone was required to test negative for coronavirus before showing up, the picnic was outdoors, everyone was expected to wear a mask and socially distance, and Winter River High’s Grade 10 class was only 20 kids. Charles had gone with Lydia to a few Black Lives Matter protests, and those had had many more people than this picnic.

Lydia had been so bored of quarantine that she’d actually wanted to engage with her classmates, which had been the deciding factor.

“It went well.” Lydia threw her disposable mask and gloves into the trash bin by the door. “It was nice to see everyone.”

Beetlejuice’s smell of rotting flesh was worse than usual. Barbara winced, waving her hand in front of her face. “Can you turn it down, please?”

“Turn what down?” Beetlejuice said too innocently.

“Anyway,” Lydia said, walking up the stairs, “my introvert battery is drained. I need to recharge.”

Beetlejuice followed her. “And I need the hot goss!”

Barbara let the two friends have their time together, though she was a little disappointed she hadn’t gotten more out of Lydia. That’s teenagers, I guess. I’ll try again later.

As Lydia washed her hands, Delia’s voice sounded in the hallway upstairs. Lydia responded back. Barbara returned to the kitchen, and had just picked up the mixing bowl when Delia’s shocked “Lydia Lilith Deetz!” rang through the house.

Barbara teleported up to the second floor of the house to see Delia and Lydia glaring at each other in the hallway with Beetlejuice floating beside Lydia. Adam teleported up a moment later.

“Young lady,” Delia said, “I can’t believe you. Smoking weed? Really? I thought you were smarter than that.”

Weed? Barbara sniffed the air, but couldn’t smell anything beyond Beetlejuice’s stink.

“It’s faint, but it’s there,” Delia insisted. She patted her faintly bulging stomach. “I have smell sensitivity, thanks to the child. And I have certainly smelled enough weed in my day!”

Lydia opened her mouth, closed it, then shrugged. “So what? Weed’s legal in tons of countries except for most of this fascist dictatorship.”

“What?” Barbara blurted out as Adam gasped.

“Where pot is legal, it’s legal for adults over 25,” Delia said. “You’re 16! Your mind is still developing.”

“Because you never, ever did pot when you were my age, Delia.”

“And it’s hardly something I’m proud of! Years from now, do you want to be looking for your underwear after a night with a drummer from a Duran Duran cover band? This is how it starts!”

Lydia snorted while Beetlejuice said, “I mean, if the drummer’s hot, yeah, sign me up.” He paused. “Who am I kidding? The drummer doesn’t even need to be that hot.”

Adam frowned at Beetlejuice. “And you’re covering for Lydia. When did you find out about this?”

Beetlejuice glanced at Lydia, who shrugged and gestured him forward. “Lyds flagged me down when she got near the house.”

“And you helped her cover this up without a second thought.”

“’Course I did! Oh nooooo, a teen did some weed. Who cares?”

“You’re the adult in this situation—”

Beetlejuice floated backward, gasping and clutching his chest. “You take that back, sir! I am not!” He paused. “Well, not an adult like you mean it.” Anxious, he bobbed in front of Lydia. “I’m a cool adult. Right, kid?”

“Totally.” There was a faint sarcastic edge to her voice, but he didn’t appear to catch it.

“You all heard her say it!” Beetlejuice said proudly.

A terrible thought occurred to Barbara. “You didn’t share the joint, did you?”

Lydia looked hurt. “I’m not risking coronavirus to get high!” Reluctantly, she added, “We each had our own joint.”

“And who brought them?” Adam asked.

“A goat-footed man offered them to us for the price of signing our name in his book. He said he would visit us again on the dark of the moon to complete his dark pact.” She smirked. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Lydia….” Delia said.

“Or maybe we found them on the ground and smoked them like the reckless teens that we are. I can’t remember.”

“Where is this attitude coming from?” Barbara asked. “This isn’t like you.”

Lydia glared at her, so angry that Barbara almost took a step back. “’Not like me’? We met four months ago! You don’t even know me. At least this one,” she jabbed a finger at Delia, “was supposed to be my life coach, so Daddy filled her in on the basics. Not that she ever bothered to get to know me, either.”

Beetlejuice laughed. “Aw, man, she burned you guys so good.”

“We’re going to talk with your father,” Delia said, “and come up with your punishment.”

Barbara was touched that she’d included Barbara and Adam.

Lydia laughed coldly. “Good luck getting Daddy to punish his little girl.” She strode confidently over to her room and closed the door.

“I’m gonna grab Lyds some chips,” Beetlejuice said. “She’s probably got the munchies!”

“You know,” Barbara said, “you could stay and—”

“Deuces, nerds!” He teleported away. A few moments later, his voice sounded in Lydia’s room along with the crinkling of a plastic bag.

Disappointing but not surprising. When Beetlejuice returned from the Netherworld, he’d made it clear he wasn’t interested in parenting Lydia or any Deetz children that came along.

As they walked downstairs to Charles’s office, Delia said, “My parents never punished me for anything in my life. They let me drink and smoke as long as I was in the basement, where they could keep an eye on me.”

“I went to some parties and stayed out past curfew in Grade 12,” Barbara said. “Mom and Dad grounded me. This one,” she nodded to Adam, “never saw a punishment in his life.”

“That’s not true, honey,” Adam said. “One time, I was doing math homework and I looked up my answers in the back of the textbook. I confessed an hour later and got extra chores for the rest of the week.” He looked thoughtful. “Grounding Lydia seems pretty redundant. Unless someone else holds another picnic, it probably won’t come up. The living are all stuck inside anyway.”

Delia sighed. “I know! And we can’t take away her phone. It’s her lifeline to the outside world! I don’t want to affect her mental health.” She bit her lower lip and stopped walking. “Perhaps we should let this go. She’s still healing from losing Emily. And no way am I going to be the evil stepmother! If Charles punishes her, she’ll probably blame me!” She glanced anxiously between Adam and Barbara.

“We won’t let her do that,” Barbara said. “We’ll be a united front.”

“Using marijuana recreationally is illegal,” Adam said. “I know not all of us agree with that law,” he nodded to Delia, “but it is the law, and she deliberately broke it. She could’ve been arrested! It’s our duty to show her there are consequences for her actions.”

“As soon as we figure out what those consequences are,” Barbara said. “You know, I read a parenting blog that said parents could ask their older teens to suggest their own punishments. Maybe she’ll come up with a good one.”

Delia rubbed her temples. The pregnancy was taking a lot out of her; she was tired and achey most of the time. “Well...let’s go see what Charles thinks.”

She knocked on the door to his office. After a few moments, Charles opened it. Seeing the looks on their faces, he frowned. “What did the demon do this time?”

“Surprisingly,” Barbara said, “he’s not the problem. It’s Lydia.”

Charles took charge immediately. After explaining his plan and getting everyone’s agreement, he asked to see Lydia in the living room.

Lydia came downstairs and Beetlejuice phased through the floor to hover by her side. While Beetlejuice slouched and scowled at everyone, Lydia looked totally confident. She didn’t blush or frown as she faced her entire family.

When Barbara had come home from Miranda’s party, she’d frozen and stammered when she’d seen her father in the living room. I wonder what Dad felt when I stayed out past curfew? Did he expect something like this? Was he grateful I wasn’t coming home drunk? I wish I’d asked him. She’d never know, now. It stung, but she had more important things to focus on.

Like whatever chaos Beetlejuice had in mind. He wasn’t going to take his best friend getting punished without a fight.

“Lydia,” Charles said, “Delia, Adam and Barbara told me what happened at the picnic. You smoked marijuana, breaking both a law and a house rule. I want to see a 5,000-word essay on my desk by the end of the week about the effects of marijuana on a young person’s development. This essay must be the same quality as one you’d do for school. Use the Chicago Manual of Style for reference and citations.”

Lydia chuckled. “You can’t be serious.”

“We’ll just plagiarize it anyway!” Beetlejuice said.

“I can Google an essay just as well as you can,” Charles said, unperturbed. “I’ll be sure to check that your work is your own.”

Her eyes narrowed. “It was just one joint, Daddy. It’s not a big deal. I’m not going to become the school drug dealer or anything—if we’re even going back to school in the fall.”

“Delia, the Maitlands and I disagree. We think it is a big deal. And since you live in our house, you have to follow our rules.”

Beetlejuice turned to Lydia. “Kid, I can get us out of this house anytime you want with a snap of my fingers.”

“And go where, Beej?” Lydia crossed her arms over her stomach. “I know you’re trying, but c’mon. It’s a global pandemic.”

Beetlejuice’s spiky hair deflated a little bit. “Oh, right.”

Charles took a step toward his daughter. More gently, he said, “Lydia, I’m not insensible that you’re facing more stress than anything I ever felt at your age. First, Emily died, then the pandemic happened, and now quarantine…. Not to mention the changes that have happened to our family.” Lydia’s gaze flicked to Delia’s stomach. “If you want to talk about what led you to make this decision, we’d all welcome that.”

Beetlejuice scoffed. “Why she did it? To be a badass!” He held out his fist for a fistbump. Lydia didn’t reciprocate, but watched her father thoughtfully instead. Good. Barbara began to relax. That means she’s listening.

“If you don’t want to talk to us,” Adam said, “we can increase your therapy sessions to two times a week.”

“I’m sick of journaling and breathing exercises!” Lydia snapped. “Nothing works! Even that stupid joint didn’t! I’ve been stuck inside for months because of a pandemic our country’s leaders are too chickenshit to deal with. I’m a privileged beneficiary of a racist, capitalist system that’s destroying the world. And I’ve literally seen what’s on the other side. Nothing gets better. This life is all we get, and it’s shit.”

She stepped closer to her father, her eyes never leaving his face. “And now, I have to do a stupid essay because I did something I thought would make it all bearable for one fucking minute!”

Her family had to do more for her. Lydia had taken antidepressants for months on the advice of her doctor—perhaps she needed her dose readjusted. If this therapist wasn’t helping, they’d find another. Adam and I could make an activity schedule to give her day some more structure, so it’s not just scrolling through social media. And Beetlejuice can probably think of lots of fun things to do—well, fun and slightly terrifying things, but Lydia loves that kind of stuff.

Charles reached out for a hug, but Lydia stepped back, hands out to push him away if he tried.

“Oh, Lydia, sweetheart, I know things are tough right now—” Barbara began.

“Mom wouldn’t do this to me!”

Charles recoiled slightly, his arms dropping.

Even Lydia seemed surprised that she’d said that, but she quickly added, “Mom wouldn’t have punished me for one joint. She would’ve understood me. She would’ve cared. And you know it.”

Charles raised his eyebrows. “Lydia, you’ve built Emily up in your mind as this creative, anarchic madwoman, and she certainly was. But do you seriously think she would be unconcerned if you started doing drugs? We had countless conversations about how to parent you, particularly in those final months when we knew…we knew she wouldn’t be around. This is the punishment we worked out together.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not. This is literally what she would have wanted me to do.”

Lydia stared at her father. Her chin began quivering as tears welled up in her eyes. Barbara almost teleported to her, but stopped. Is it my place? I’m just the ghost parent, not her real one….

At some point, Beetlejuice had floated over to her and Adam. He was watching Lydia and Charles intently, as if looking for something.

Lydia sniffled, swallowed, then said, “Fine, I’ll do your dumbass essay.”

“What? C’mon, kid!” Beetlejuice gestured to Charles. “Don’t give in to The Man!”

Lydia gave him a small smile. “Not everyone has the energy of an undead demon, Beej.” She tossed her hair. “Besides, Dad, all the research that’s out there says pot should be legalized for recreational use, anyway.”

“Not for 16-year-olds.”

“We’ll see.” She turned around and went upstairs.

“Bet you loved that, fascists,” Beetlejuice said to the parents and parental figures. But Beetlejuice usually got over things quickly as long as they didn’t directly involve him, so it wasn’t surprising when he slung his arms over Barbara and Adam’s shoulders and smirked. “Babs, Sexy, if you wanna make out to forget your guilt that you made Lydia hate you, you where know I be.”

Lydia stopped halfway up the stairs. “‘Hate you’? God, BJ, you’re so dramatic. I don’t hate them. They’re completely overreacting, but they’re just being parents. It’s their job.”

That threw him—he blinked at her a few moments, then shrugged. “So it wasn’t my best pickup line. Instead of criticizing my game, go…I dunno, cry about your dead mom some more.”

“Beetlejuice!”

At least Lydia didn’t appear hurt. She rolled her eyes and raised her middle finger at Beetlejuice before going upstairs.

Charles huffed. “I think the next thing we’re going to work on is crude language and gestures. I’ve been quite lax about that and someone—” he eyed Beetlejuice “—has been a bad influence.”

“We should also not joke about people’s traumas, Bug,” Adam said.

Beetlejuice grunted. To Barbara’s surprise, he didn’t say ‘She started it!’ He was legitimately thinking about something.

Delia sat down on the living room couch, sighing in exhaustion. “Well! We got through it. Huzzah, everyone!” She glanced at Beetlejuice. “Except you,” she said coolly.

“Things got pretty tense there,” Adam said. “It’s lucky I don’t have a body, or I might have had a small panic attack.”

“Most of the thanks goes to Charles,” Barbara said.

“I was happy to take the lead on this one. I have the most experience, after all. Unfortunately, this is hardly the first time I’ve had to discipline her. She’s not always the most attentive to her studies.”

“Really?” Adam asked. “But she’s so intelligent.”

“Which means she doesn’t always feel challenged, so she puts off her homework and assumes she can complete it the evening before it’s due.”

“Wow, I had no idea.” Barbara had pictured Lydia as a young woman much like Adam, eager to learn and devoted to school. Lydia is right. We don’t know each other that well.

“Do you think we should talk to her psychiatrist again?” Barbara asked.

Charles nodded. “I was thinking that, as well.”

Beetlejuice poofed away in the puff of smoke as the parenting talk continued. Remembering his unusual thoughtfulness, Barbara resolved to speak to him later.

Beetlejuice appeared as if summoned when, an hour later, Barbara pulled her chocolate chip cookies out of the oven.

“Ooo! They’re all goopy!” Beetlejuice snagged one, and didn’t seem to mind that it was hot.

“We got some news on where the weed came from,” Barbara said as he ate. “Claire’s mom called Charles during our meeting. Near the end of the picnic, five of the kids said they wanted to check out the empty school. Lydia was one of them. They disappeared from view for around 10 minutes. The chaperones figured they just wanted to get out of cleaning duty, and nobody thought much of it because the party was wrapping up. Claire’s mom apologized over and over again. I don’t think she’s going to be hosting any more class picnics. Poor woman. We still don’t know who brought the drugs, though.

“Er, I hate to ask, but…it wasn’t you, right?” Beetlejuice was quite casual about drug use, and Lydia could talk him into anything.

Beetlejuice didn’t mind being suspected of providing drugs to children. Maybe to a demon, that was a mark of pride? “I was watching Farscape with Adam during the picnic. I only teleported away when I heard Lyds say my name.” He could always hear the living say it, for some reason.

“The person watching Farscape could’ve been a clone, though.”

“Ooo, now you’re thinking like a demon, babe! But for real—no way would I bring joints for some teens and not for myself. Am I really that generous?”

“You’re right. Sorry, I just had to make sure.”

He winked at her. “I wouldn’t trust me either, baby.” He bit into his third cookie.

“You seemed caught off guard earlier when Lydia said she didn’t hate us. What was that about?”

He shrugged. “Just trying to make myself fart to break the tension.”

“Well, I know that’s a fib. You’re always able to fart.”

He stopped chewing, thought for a moment, swallowed, then said, “Eh…guess I’m just not used to kids and parents not hating each other.”

She touched his free hand. When he didn’t pull away, she wrapped her fingers around it. “That’s awful.”

“That’s life. And the afterlife, I guess, since Ma was there too.” He frowned. The hand she was holding twitched, like he wanted to start fiddling with something like he always did when he was upset or anxious. “Whatever. I killed her with a sandworm, the scene ended on my hilarious joke, and the audience got a happy ending. It all worked out.”

“If you want to talk some more about your mother, Bug—”

“Why, so I can cry about my dead mom, like Lyds? Sing a song about it? Not my brand, babes. I don’t even think about Mom.” He focused very intently on the cookies on the baking tray as he said, “I think about you and Sexy and Lyds, sometimes Chuck and Delia. You’re the people I care about, not that bi—sorry, sorry, that was gonna be a gendered slur, but I caught myself.”

“I’m proud of you.” Barbara leaned over and kissed his cheek.

He grinned. “You know, I don’t think I hear that enough from you guys. I could kill so many people, and I never do. A little more ‘good job, Beetlejuice!’ would be nice.”

“We’ll try.” She kissed his lips. As she pulled back, he leaned closer and kept the kiss going. Then a goopy finger brushed her nose, leaving a trail of warmth down it.

Beetlejuice pulled away, chuckling. “You look like you ate poop.”

She rolled her eyes (was she picking that up from Lydia?) and wiped the melted chocolate off her nose. Beetlejuice hadn’t used the kiss as an excuse to grab all the cookies on the tray, which was surprising.

Not that Beetlejuice was done with the cookies. He grabbed two more then floated out of her reach.

“Do you mind if I tell Adam about this conversation?” she asked. Adam, Barbara and Beetlejuice hadn’t been in a polyamorous relationship long; Barbara wanted boundaries to be extra clear to avoid hurt feelings and miscommunication.

“Girl, you know I love when people talk about me.”

“Even stuff about your mother, which might be a little more complicated than you’re pretending it is?”

“Or maybe it’s not complicated at all? I’m a simple guy, babes.”

“You do like to say that, yes.”

“But, eh, don’t tell Sexy all the crap I said about kids and parents and shit. He’ll just wanna talk. Bleh. Pretend I was always my normal awesome self.”

“Hey, Bug,” she said lightly, “I think opening up to someone you care about is pretty awesome. So, to me, you were always your normal awesome self.”

“Dork.” But he was smiling as he poofed away.

When the cookies cooled, she put two on a plate, poured a glass of milk, and went upstairs.

She checked in on Adam next. She’d left him reading in their bedroom, but now he was staring out the window at the cemetery.

“Hi, sweetie,” she said.

“Hi.” He didn’t turn around.

“Do you want to go visit them?” That cemetery held his parents’ graves. They’d died in a car crash coming home from a Christmas party five years ago.

He nodded. “I know we can’t stay for long because of the sandworms, but just for a few minutes….”

“When Lydia’s done her essay, maybe she could come, too. She’s mentioned wanting to have a solo picnic in the graveyard sometime.”

“That’d be nice. I hope Mom and Dad approved of how we handled Lydia. They probably would’ve liked a good prayer circle, but the Deetzes aren’t that kind of family.” He sighed, rubbing at his eyes. “They were good people, in their way. They knew farm life wasn’t for me, and they never made me feel bad about choosing my own path.”

“Your family was so welcoming when we started dating.”

He chuckled, smiling at her over his shoulder. “Most of that was shock, I think. They bent over backwards because they knew you were too good for me.”

They’d told this joke at parties before. Barbara laughed dutifully. “Your mom never gossiped. You’ve lived here your whole life—you know how rare that is. Most people just can’t wait to spill the beans. But I could tell her anything.”

Adam’s smile dropped. “I couldn’t.”

His parents had probably been part of the reason he hadn’t come out as bisexual until after his death. Barbara set the plate and glass down and joined him at the window, resting her hand on his shoulder.

“I have no idea what I’m going to tell them when we find them in the Netherworld,” Adam said. “’Hi, Mom and Dad, here’s my wife and my boyfriend. I have an open marriage now! I’ve slept with a man who’s not actually a man! He’s a demon.’”

“Well, saying it all at once is a bit much,” she said lightly. “You might need to lead up to it.”

A smile twitched the corners of his lips before he sighed and stared out the window again.

She rubbed at his shoulder, tense under her hand. “We have time to figure it out. We’re not going anywhere for a while. And maybe their perspective will have shifted in all those years in the Netherworld?”

“You’re right. I shouldn’t worry about it. And maybe the fact that we sort of have a child now means they’ll overlook a few sins.”

No, we live with a child. She’s not ours in any way. Barbara said, “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.”

Adam turned away from the window and looked at her, concerned.

Barbara and Adam approached Lydia’s room 20 minutes later. Lydia’s door stood out against the pale gray wall; she’d had her door wallpapered to make it look like a dingy, cobwebbed hallway with a mysterious figure at the end of it. Barbara knocked; Lydia groaned.

Opening the door, Lydia looked unenthused. “Is this the real punishment—everyone coming to check up on me?” The cookies didn’t even elicit a smile, though she took them with a curt, “Thank you.” She waved them in. “Shut the door, take a seat. Let’s get this over with.”

Her room was messier than Barbara would’ve preferred, with socks everywhere and a pile of folded laundry still in its hamper. Lydia set the cookies and milk down next to a new pile of books on her nightstand. There were already bookmarks in The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness and Yes You Can! Your Guide to Becoming an Activist. Lydia had been ordering books from local bookstores like crazy during the pandemic.

“You missed Delia.” Lydia half-sat, half-fell onto her bed, bouncing a little. “‘Peep these stones, girl! They’ll unblock your chakras because they’re fire. But they’re actually stones.’ I got her out of here by hissing some words in Klingon over her stomach. She thought I was cursing her unborn child—it was great! And, no.” She swung her legs up to stretch out. “That doesn’t mean I hate the fetus. They can’t help being incubated in the world’s worst person. So you can tell Beetlejuice that, if he’ll listen to you. He thinks he knows me so well.” She chuckled. “He only thinks that because he thinks I’m a human version of him. Everything’s a Mommy-or-Daddy issue with that guy.”

She laced her hands behind her head. Her black dress blended in with her black duvet cover and the rooms black walls, making the pale white skin of her face stand out sharply. “And, of course, Daddy dearest came by. Did we cry a bit over my dead mother? I plead the fifth.” She looked at Barbara and Adam, waving a hand. “Speak! Impart to me your undead wisdom. Cure this troubled child of her afflictions.”

Barbara and Adam had worked on what they were going to say, but it took a few moments to absorb everything Lydia had just said. She’d be good in theatre. Maybe we could look into Zoom classes….

Adam sucked in a breath. “Lydia, we’ve been talking about what you said to Barbara earlier today. About how we’ve only known each other for a few months.”

Lydia’s eyebrows twitched up. “Oh…kay?”

Barbara spoke next. “You’re completely right. We don’t actually know you. And once I realized that, I realized it was presumptuous of us to join in with your father and stepmother while they were disciplining you today. It made me think about how we joined this family in the first place. You agreed to let us stay, and we’ll always be grateful. But you also agreed after a very traumatic experience, and none of us really knew what it meant to share our lives together, living and dead.

“We all sort of fell into these roles after Beetlejuice left. We became like your second set of parents. We’ve been calling you our adopted child and everything. But…well, you’re not. And you already have a father and a stepmother.”

Lydia sat up on her bed, facing the ghosts, her jaw tense. “You’re—you’re not leaving, right? For the Netherworld?” She swallowed, gaze darting between the two of them.

Adam shook his head. “Of course not, Lydia,” he said gently. “Our boyfriend hates that place, for one thing. And we want to be here for you and the new baby.” He nodded to Barbara to continue.

“But,” Barbara said, “that doesn’t mean we need to be in your life as parents. We could just be two roommates. We could chat over dinner, watch TV together, maybe bake something once in a while. But if you don’t want us to be, we don’t need to be so involved in how you’re raised. That’s Charles’s and Delia’s job.”

Lydia was clutching her fingers together tightly. “I never even bothered to ask—did you want kids while you were alive?”

“We did…theoretically,” Adam said. “That’s the next step in the life plan once you own a home, right? Some of our friends had four kids already. But in practice, we had a lot of fears holding us back. If we’d been braver….” He looked away, sighing, before he looked back at her. “But we weren’t, and we can’t change that now.”

“Or we might have had a child and hated it,” Barbara added. “Who’s to say?” She patted Adam’s hand. “It’s a bit of a complicated topic for us. You’re a child, Lydia. You shouldn’t have to carry a dead couple’s wishes and regrets.”

Lydia’s gaze dropped to her hands, still gripping each other on her lap. It wasn’t an easy thing they were asking. Barbara gave her silence and space to think.

“You’re not who I want,” Lydia said, looking up at them. “I’ll always want my mother. I apologize for the bluntness, but Mom always made friends with the elephant in the room, and I’m my mother’s daughter.”

“Of course, sweetie—ah, Lydia.” Barbara cleared her throat. “It’s only natural.”

“But you two…. You made me feel normal even when I was so alone.” Her voice was getting quieter and quieter. “You always listened to me talk about her. And you’re…you’re part of the reason I came back from the Netherworld.”

Barbara chuckled softly. “You’re the reason we stayed in the world of the living, originally. We had to defeat Beetlejuice and keep you safe. But that doesn’t mean we need to act as a second set of parents. I’m not sure that’s fair to you.

“Lydia, we don’t have to decide anything right now. We can talk about this tomorrow, or a week from now, or a month.”

Lydia’s dark gaze locked on Barbara. Her eyes shone with tears under a heavy frown. “You probably don’t even want me as a daughter,” she spat. “You probably dreamed of some little girl in pretty pink dresses who played with dolls instead of skulls. I’m too complicated, too messy. But you don’t want to say it. That’s not nice, and you two are nothing but nice. Just stop being cowards! Make it easy on us!”

“Oh, Lydia, honey….” Barbara couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to her. She held Lydia as the girl’s tears started falling. Adam sat down on Lydia’s other side, stroking her back. She rested her head on Barbara’s shoulder.

“I love you guys,” Lydia whispered thickly.

“And here I go,” Barbara said as she started crying, too. “We love you too, sweetie.”

“We would’ve been honoured to have a daughter like you,” Adam said, tearing up. He hovered the Kleenex box over to them, so they could wipe their eyes and noses without breaking the hug.

“I am so fucking sick of crying,” Lydia grumbled as she dabbed her nose.

Barbara wiped her eyes. “Language.”

“Right. Daddy said he wanted to tackle that next.” She smiled. “I’m sorry you got a daughter at this intemperate age, Maitlands. I was a real peach when I was four.”

“You’re perfect,” Barbara assured her. “You make bad decisions sometimes, but you’re perfect.”

Lydia’s eyeroll was somewhat undercut by the fresh batch of tears.

Adam commented, “I guess we’ll need to work on a parenting schedule with Charles and Delia. See what we can figure out.” Adam sounded cheerful at the thought. He always loved making plans.

Lydia raised an eyebrow. “You’re dating Beetlejuice, but you still love rules and order. You’re a mystery, Adam Maitland. In fact,” she sniffled again, “we’re all mysteries to each other. That’s what started this conversation, isn’t it?

“So, hello, Maitlands. My name’s Lydia Deetz.”

“Hi, Lydia. I’m Barbara Maitland.”

It was time for the Maitlands to get to know their daughter.

#beetlelandsweek2020 #beetlejuice #beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice x adam x barbara #charles x delia #adam maitland #barbara maitland #lydia deetz

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space-sword · 4 years

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My experience trying to join BSG

After I got back from my hiatus following finals and my laptop breaking I saw a couple of my mutuals talking about an Avatar Discord server. It sounded like a cool place and since I was done with finals I thought it would be a good time for me to make some new friends and socialize so I asked them how I could join. Neither of them wrote me back. A few days later I got a DM from avatar-chang, who was not one of the mutuals I had asked. The following messages will prove how much of a cult and hive mind BSG really is.

She was suspicious of me right off the bat. I didn’t have a clue what was going on in their server and it seemed like it would be an issue for me to join so I didn’t push it. avatar-chang insisted that I must have known about it.

Every single time I’ve had a conversation with avatar-chang she’s brought up @purpleplatypusbear21 though she claims she’s not obsessed with her. She had warned me about @avatarfandompolice before but I had not heard of @dragomer. After she told me these names though it sorta clicked that this was probably the server PPB21 mentioned on her blog a few times where people were stalking and harassing her. I was intrigued.

Side note: They (obviously) allow people to talk shit about others in their server but don’t allow people to use hate speech. So does this not count as hate speech?

That was avatar-chang talking about PPB21 by the way. Anyway back to the conversation. I wanted to test a theory that avatar-chang would accept me more if she thought I was no longer friends with PPB21 so I said that I was distancing myself from her. This was half true, I hadn’t responded to PPB21′s DMs for a while, mostly because I had a lot of things to catch up on after my hiatus. As you can see avatar-chang is much more interested in me after I tell her this.

Ok I embellished a little about PPB21′s job, it’s not shady at all though she does make a ton of money (way to go!). avatar-chang thought it was shady that PPB21 said she was leaving Tumblr but still posted a whole lot even though PPB21 made it clear she was leaving at the end of May which she did. But it was then that I realized I caught avatar-chang in a major lie (I’ll explain more after the next set of screenshots). Also I think dragomer and AFP already demonstrated that BSG does in fact leave hate comments and hate anons so their rules mean nothing.

I called avatar-chang out on her lie. She told me previously that she blocked PPB21 and I know PPB21 also blocked avatar-chang. So how could avatar-chang know that PPB21 was still posting on her blog? Unless of course... she was stalking her. She tried to cover up her lie by saying other people reblog her posts but that’s not how blocking works. And avatar-chang knows this:

avatar-chang said she doesn’t see PPB21 on her dash anymore. So she’s a big fat liar and definitely guilty of stalking. Not only that but she flat out admits that some people haven’t blocked her and have been checking up on her blog. This is stalking.

There you have it. “I’m sorry but we can’t allow anyone that’s mutuals with ppb.” BSG is a hate group against PPB21 and they can’t cover that up anymore. This further shows their level of obsession with her.

Believe it or not I was gonna break mutuals with PPB21 once she left Tumblr but only because I didn’t see the point of following someone who’s inactive. avatar-chang jumped to the conclusion that PPB21 must have provoked people to send anon hate to her. Is there any proof of this? Can anyone show me a convo they’ve had with PPB21 where she provoked people to send hate? I would put money on no such convo existing. Another thing that majorly pissed me off here was avatar-chang saying: “we’ve noticed that she reaches out to every new atla blog”. When I was new to the fandom the first two people to reach out to me were bizukos and avatar-chang. PPB21 and I didn’t talk until months after I joined and she never tried to manipulate me to unfollow or stop reblogging from others. PPB21 is a supportive person by nature so she does tend to follow new blogs and reblog from them but to my knowledge she doesn’t DM them. Also why would it be so fishy for someone to reach out to new blogs? Oh that’s right because if you have the sole intention of manipulating people then it would be fishy but that’s only avatar-chang’s and her posse’s MO.

The only lie I really told during the conversation was: “Seems like an amazing group of people.” Ok so avatar-chang got back to me later with the decision that the mods did not want me in their server. “But one of our mods feels genuinely uncomfortable with the thought of someone who’s mutuals (even if you’re gonna break it) with ppb21 being in the server.” Obsessed much? Also explain to me how BSG isn’t a hate group.

Now here’s where I got angry. Now it was personal. I wasn’t allowed in because of my personal views. And here I thought BSG was a safe space for everyone.

Lies, lies, and more lies.

“This isn’t gatekeeping” my ass. And then she has the nerve to throw at me that I reblogged from PPB21 recently. Well yeah I said that I was gonna break mutuals with her when she left Tumblr but she hadn’t left at that point so why wouldn’t I reblog from her and more importantly why should it fucking matter who I reblog from? Despite my anger I thought we had ended the conversation in a civil manner. I had no intention of ever sharing this conversation especially because of this part:

However later on I had to hear from a mutual that avatar-chang removed me from her blog recs and is actively telling people not to follow me and that we’re not friends. There’s a screenshot of this but I don’t want to out this mutual. And it would be awfully hypocritical for avatar-chang to be upset with me for sharing this conversation because she’s shared DMs she’s had with PPB21 in BSG for all to read. “I need to be absolutely and 100% sure that everything I say to you will not be discussed with anyone else and won’t leave this chat, and will never ever come back to haunt me in the future.” Why would she have such fears of her words coming back to haunt her if she knew she was doing the right thing? Maybe if she didn’t stab me in the back she wouldn’t have to eat her words.

#nate spills the tea #people to block #toxic behavior

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fireflythecinnamonjollyrancher · 3 years

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got tagged by one of my fave mutuals @ringdonuts and decided i needed a distraction lmao

Rules: Answer 30 questions about yourself and tag 20 others you wanna know more about 😊

1. Name/Nickname: Greer is both my name and nickname. you figure it out

2. Gender: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha i use she/they pronouns? we'll get back to that discussion later

3. Star Sign: virgo sun, taurus moon, cancer rising (i.e. I'm a mess)

4. Height: 5'6"? maybe? haven't checked in a while

5. Time: 6:23 pm

6. Birthday: 9/11 baybee

7. Favorite bands/groups: uh. truly couldn't tell ya. if im feeling nostalgic, fall out boy ig? im gonna co opt this question and say my fave podcasts are wine & crime, beach too sandy water too wet, and that's why we drink, and sounds fake but okay

8. Favorite solo artist: joseph dubay, scotty sire, and watsky come to mind

9. Song stuck in my head: Saint Bernard by Lincoln bc I was thinking of my mental illness playlist

10. Last Movie: Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar (it was... a trip)

11. Last Show: Psych probably

12. When did I create this blog: jesus, it had to be at least 8 years ago bc my first post was about my 9th grade musical, i remember that much. update: I searched my email and i started my blog in november of 2012. so, there ya go

13. What do I post: anything that induces psychic damage to my followers. its just a hodge podge of things i enjoy tbh

14. Last thing I Googled: smth about resumes

15. Other blogs: i have a side blog (mostly aesthetic) @my-favorite-memory-with where i post all my favorite memories with different people (submissions are always welcome but rarely received)

16. Do I get asks: lmao not often no, usually they come from my friends

17. Why I chose my URL: firefly was a short-lived j*ss wh*don show that my mom and i really enjoyed, and i consider myself akin to a cinnamon jolly rancher in that i probably shouldn't exist but while I'm here I'm gonna make it everyone else's problem

18. Following: 1,338 idk man

19. Followers: 632???? idk why

20. Average hours of sleep: 6 usually does it

21. Lucky number: 7 13 and 21. idk why

22. Instruments: i can play the clarinet and that's about it

23. What am I wearing: blue slacks, a white tank and a gray cardigan. I'm out of clothes

24. Dream job: a stage manager, specifically for k*lli's show.

25. Dream trip: UGH a road trip with the banjo shrimps to a bunch of small towns across the us !!! staying in shitty motels and going to small museums and making food and just doing dumb dumb shit. that's the goal i just wanna tour

26. Favorite food: paastaaaa!!! and bread made with (really, by) celeste.

27. Nationality: American (listen i know)

28. Favorite song: Currently Least Favorite Only Child by Leanna Firestone but of all time probably the theme to M*A*S*H just bc nothing ever gets me as hyped

29. Last book I read: All of the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness by Michelle Paver. Got through that shit with frightening speed. unless you consider k*lli's fic (read here) a book

30. Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: I love the idea of the CoAD universe, but I would have to be born into it to survive. Obviously, as a gay, I'm a slut for the Percy Jackson universe. And finally the universe of the librarians, if only so magic could be real in small doses

cool that was a fun lil brain exercise. uh if you got this far guess what. you gotta do the thing. also if you're mentioned at all you gotta do the thing. and if you related to ANY of my answers you gotta do the thing. hows that sound for a tag?

#firefly talks

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hourglass-full-of-stars · 4 years

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Rant/Theory time

I have lots of thoughts about Doctor Who pt. 2 except this time I won’t accidentally delete

Big big big spoilers under the cut

okayokayokayokay TIMELESS CHILD.

I had a lot of thoughts about this during season eleven and I thought the timeless child was....the doctor? I thought that maybe that the magic tarp thingies knew her as that, but obviously not, unless,,,,,,,,,,, honestly, it doesn’t bother me how chibs is yet again changing the thing with Gallifrey, I mean it’s been changed so many times, and it’s not gonna stop changing. I like the twist how the master went back and destroyed all of it because he was in a rage, because they lied to them about whatever happened. And like...everyone is sort of mad because of the Missy redemption arc being lost but what I think is that it’s either before Missy and the thing with the “burn whole cities to the ground just to see the pretty shapes the smoke made” when she was crying, maybe she was thinking of Gallifrey (as @superevilbeans said in her post that I will link at some point), but it could have been that and that Dhawan!Master is pre-Missy, post-Simm, or that....I dunno, I know we had a whole season of Missy’s redemption arc, but unpopular opinion, I don’t think she ever truly changed. I think either learning that everyone on Gallifrey lied to her is enough to change them so it could even be post-Missy, because I don’t think they could just turn the Master good. He can be like morally grey and not entirely evil, of course, they’re a very interesting character like that, but I don’t think they ever fully redeemed themselves. Even while I was watching season ten, I wasn’t really going for it. They can be good at times but that doesn’t change that the doctor and the master are enemies and I just don’t think they would be completely redeemed. So, either of those make sense, but I’m not closed off to other theories, of course (including that Chibs just forgot about Missy’s redemption arc) but also, like I said, the thing with Gallifrey has been changed like a million times, a new showrunner is going to change and it’ll just stay like that. What I am wondering is HOW DID THE MASTER FIND OUT ABOUT THE TIMELESS CHILD? How do they know? Who told them, and why did it make them so angry? I thought that maybe he went back to Gallifrey and found out there, and then destroyed it. It’s a possibility, or maybe-- remember the magic tarps, Tim-Shaw things enchanted things knew about the timeless child. And they were like “she doesn’t know!” she maybe it’s something that all other races know about and have acknowledged it, and they all think the Timelords think it too, but they don’t. They were under the idea that it was just perfect, and the way they taught them. I also saw a thing,,, I think also on the previous blog I mentioned, that the timeless child turned into what the time vortex or whatever it was young timelords looked in. Maybe the Master found out directly from the Timeless Child.

It’s very interesting wording though. “Timeless” so that could mean that it’s either immortal or abides by different laws of time. The Timelords helped write the laws of time (I think) or they were the protectors of them anyway, so maybe they took the Timeless child and changed it and made their own. There are different dimensions, there can be different rules of time. Or maybe the Timeless child wrote the laws of time and then the Timelords took them away from them. My original theory was that the Doctor was the timeless child, and I know that doesn’t make sense, but I feel like they might weave it in somehow. I don’t have any evidence to back the theory up, it’s just a weird thing I think. It could even be that the Timeless Child is PART of Gallifrey. Like, it absorbed it or something and it had like Very Great Power and it gave all the TARDIS-es power, and was the reason for the two hearts, three brain-stems. Or maybe the TC just is....time. Like the embodiment of time, and they harnessed it to create their whole species and it’s sitting dormant somewhere....all of its power being sucked. And then when the Master found this out- did he kill the TC out of rage? Or did he save it, and is keeping it somewhere. Did he even find it? And is it a person we know, or is it new? Maybe together, the Master and the Doctor make up the TC, not as in it’s their child (ewewewewewewewew disgusting), but they are like...two sides of the same coin, it’s like, if the Doctor had gone bad, the dream lord part of the Doctor, they would be the Master. The dream lord and the master (especially this one) are very similar. It’s very interesting their similarities and contrasts.

One thing I really didn’t like- why was the Master in a nazi uniform for like....half the episode. Like, that was weird, and it kinda creeped me out. And I didn’t like it. Although, when he stormed in that convention thing in the 1800s that was a Very Nice Top Hat, one hundred percent goals.

Also, when he was like “that was the LONGEST 77 YEARS OF MY LIFE” I burst out laughing, my god. I think he’ll be back. Deffo for the finale if not later this episode, he’s not staying in that other creepy dimension.

Graham’s laser shoes. Need I say more.

I lovedlovedlovedlovedloved the Doctor’s mini speech at the end, I have been waiting for that since season eleven, episode one, I think everyone has. I can’t wait till the fam finds out more about her, and just who she truly is. She’s been trying to run away from her past, and hide it from her friends and try to ignore it but she can’t anymore. The Master was like “VIBE CHECK. YOU THOUGHT.” It’ll be interesting to see her dark side come out more, because I think she can do it so so so well.

ALSO- DID YAZ, RYAN AND GRAHAM’S PASSPORTS AND STUFF EVER GET FIXED ?? THEY WERE WANTED ????????? I need answers it really stressed me out.

That SCENE with the Master and Thirteen on the Eiffel tower was So Well Done, I cannot state that enough. It was so fun oh my godddd. Seeing them interact is just the most fun thing I’ve ever watched. WIll they kill each other? Will they have a civil conversation? Both ? WHO KNOWS.

Overallll, like 13/13.

#doctor who #dw #doctor who spoilers #dw spoilers #the master #thirteen #the doctor #Yasmin Khan #Ryan Sinclair #Graham O’Brien #tardis #timeless child #spyfall #spyfall part one #spyfall part 2

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nomadicism · 5 years

Note

For someone wanting to get into the voltron franchise, would you suggest watching Golion (and Dairugger) first or DOTU?

Hi Anon! Thank you for the Ask!

This is a hard one! I think it would depend upon whether or not someone (you?) already enjoys anime with subtitles, and if one has a lot of patience and time. There are 124 episodes total for DotU, 72 for Lion Voltron, and 52 for Vehicle Voltron. Both Golion and Dairugger XV have 52 episodes, and good luck finding the final 16 of Dairugger XV in DVD quality with the official subs (more on that at the very end)†.

All together that’s 228 episodes plus the Fleet of Doom TV special. That’s A LOT of watching. Note, that Lion Voltron has 20 more episodes than Golion, this is because completely new episodes were made to create a second season after the show did so well. Alas, they couldn’t compete with all of the other toy-hustling cartoon shows, so the Lion Voltron story ends on an odd note with some un-resolved story, unless you count the Fleet of Doom TV special as the official ending of the story.

So what would I suggest?

Option 1: If you love anime and have patience and time, then I’d recommend watching Golion, then all of Lion Voltron, then Dairugger XV, then Vehicle Voltron, and then Fleet of Doom.

Option 2: If what you really want to focus on is Voltron, then don’t bother with Golion. Watch Lion Voltron and Vehicle Voltron and Fleet of Doom, and then decide if you want to check Golion and Dairugger out.

Option 2 is kind of self-explanatory, so I’ll break down why you might want to go for option 1. Mostly, it’s that I think it would be really interesting—as a first time viewer—to watch them back-to-back so you can see what was changed, and hopefully appreciate the work that went into DotU, especially Lion Voltron. It also brings an extra meta-meta perspective if VLD and Tumblr memes were your first introduction to Voltron.

Example above: The praying Keith meme comes from a scene that was partly cut for Lion Voltron due to religious connotations. In Golion, it’s a serious and—in my biased opinion—a very touching scene for Akira that reveals his spiritual nature. Being in touch with traditional Japanese beliefs, is part of his character (and arguably, an important team leader trait for the genre). It makes a lot of sense in context, but you’d never get that from DotU.

Speaking of work—a lot of work went into making Golion work for an American kid-friendly audience—from what I recall, they didn’t even have proper scripts of the original b/c they weren’t expecting to get Golion, they thought they were getting Mirai Robo Daltanius instead! I love DotU, but it’s campy and some parts don’t age well. I’m not sure what I would think if I were to watch it for the first time today as a teen or in my early 20s. You kind of have to go in expecting to laugh and cringe-cry at the weird stories that your oddball drunkle tells when he stops by once a year (not the whole thing, but there are some moments…)

It’s still a good story, but they don’t construct stories this way for animation anymore, and this was a time when broadcast rules were very strict for children’s TV. So if you’ve not watched a lot of 80s broadcast cartoons, then it’s gonna feel weird at first. Also, things were cut/censored (some obvious to cut, others less so): there’s a crucifixion scene, any-and-all references to religion, any time someone dies the dialog will mention something about robots, “Set your guns to maximum stun!”, “Wow! He sure escaped there fast!”, etc. You could play a very deadly drinking game with the obvious coverups.

Above: Cossack the Terrible is more camp than menace.

It’s worth watching all of Lion Voltron just to get to the made-for-US episodes where they introduce Merla and Cossack. Their dialog gets real weird sometimes, and there’s a bit of “flies right over the kids heads” going on if you know what I mean. Lotor is incredibly hammy. If you are serious about getting into the Voltron franchise and continue into later series—including the DDP comics which I highly recommend—then you’ll want to know where Merla, Cossak, and Stride the Tiger Fighter come from.

Above: Space Goddess appears to the Golion team in their hour of need. This scene is very different in DotU.

For Golion—relevant to Option 2, but also for comparing if you’re going with Option 1—I remember being super excited to track it down on IRC in the late 90s/early 2000s and then being very shocked when I first watched it. I was still new to older mecha anime at that time (was hard to find). I watched Golion with my childhood Voltron nostalgia goggles on, and they got ripped off in the first episode. This is why Option 2 works, b/c if you want to focus on Voltron, then Golion is totally skippable. It’s a different story, you’re not missing anything that will give you that sweet Voltron feeling.

If I were to watch Golion for the first time today, I’d still find it very dark, but also tame compared to some other shows. Two of my favorite things about Golion are, Sincline’s gradual descent into madness, and the way Princess Amue slap-shames some sense into Ryou—he’s a hot mess when they first meet—despite what she had just been through (keeping it vague to avoid spoilers). None of that is in DotU. In some ways, the story is deeper than DotU, while DotU is more fun and endearing.

Now onto Dairugger XV and Vehicle Voltron!

If you’re new to my blog, then you might not have seen my posts giving the elevator pitch for this show. It’s my favorite part of DotU. I’m in that small minority of Voltron fans that prefers Vehicle Voltron to Lion Voltron.

Above: Vehicle Voltron has three team leaders! The XV of Dairugger XV stands for 15, as in 15 pilots.

Dairugger XV and Vehicle Voltron hold up better over time (I’ll admit, that’s subjective). They have a very different feel from Golion and Lion Voltron, even though the writers did their best to tie Lion and Vehicle Voltron together. The story is more intact between the two, with the noticeable changes being the censorship of death, the nature of the relationship between Teles/Hazar and Sirk/Dorma (my Tumblr avatar is Sirk/Dorma), and the ending.

If you were going with Option 2, then I’d still recommend watching Dairugger XV, because it’s probably one of the more unique of the super robot/combining mecha monster-of-the-week shows and there will never be another like it.

Overall, Dairugger is less dark than Golion, but Golion has the funnier humor. This is true of Lion and Vehicle Voltron as well. At least Dairugger/Vehicle Voltron has Hazar’s shower scene, and the infamous scene where Krik puts his hand waaaaay too far down the back of Jeff’s pants for a simple slip of contraband. ;-)

Best way to look at them is that Lion Voltron/Golion is like Star Wars, while Vehicle Voltron/Dairugger is like Star Trek.

I hope that helps, and I hope you enjoy your deeper dive into Voltron!

–––––––––

† Unless there’s been a recent change in streaming availability, it’s difficult to find all of Dairugger XV, especially those last episodes. I’ve only ever seen episodes 37–52 of Dairugger XV as low quality fansubs, and I’ll be damned if I pay $300+ for a used/second-hand final set of official DVDs. I have no qualms about paying for a good quality bootleg of the official release though, so if anyone knows where I can score that, then let me know. I sincerely hope that WEP re-releases them, perhaps they’ll do that if the new release of the DotU DVDs sells well. Check the Voltron store page for the new Lion and Vehicle Voltron DVD sets!

#dairugger xv #vehicle voltron #golion #voltron: defender of the universe #my recommendations #ask me anything #anonymous

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smashy-headcanons · 5 years

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Weekly reminder of the blog rules, FAQ, and character alt stuff for mobile users.

Blog Rules

No NSFW content allowed. Not everyone is comfortable with NSFW content. I’m not super comfortable with it either, aside from the occasional light joke. Please keep it off the blog.

No politics allowed. Politics stress me out. I made this blog with the hopes that people exhausted from being bombarded with politics every minute won’t have to deal with it here. If you bring politics onto my blog I will knife you. And no, that does not mean I “don’t care” about certain issues. What it means is that I want this to be separate from the blog. And as a side note, no mentions of Tr*mp on this blog are allowed. I ended up deleting a submission because of it.

Headcanons go in the submissions. Non-headcanon content goes in the asks. Unless you’re sending an image or video to me, send it as an ask if it’s not a headcanon or quote. If it is a headcanon, please PLEASE send it as a submission and not an ask. It’s so much easier to post a submission than an ask because when headcanons are sent as asks I feel obligated to respond to it in some way and it almost feels repetitive when I’m saying one of the same three phrases repeatedly. The one exception I will allow is if you’re specifically asking for feedback regarding said headcanon. If you want to submit a headcanon but are worried about being anonymous, tell me in your submission that you want to be listed as anonymous and I will say it was submitted by anonymous.

When sending a submission, write it as best you can. Do your best to make sure there are no typos, and USE PROPER CAPITALIZATION. PLEASE. This isn’t as necessary with asks since I’m not going to be able to edit your own ask, but at the very least make it readable. I understand not everyone speaks English as their first language. I also understand that many people who are learning English as a second/third/etc. language may speak broken English. This is not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is when a submission is sent in which none of the names are capitalized or the submission is littered with typos. Most browsers/computers have spell checkers installed. If you struggle with spelling, you can use that. I’m not asking you to write your submissions like a formal essay. I just ask that you try to keep your posts as close to posting quality as possible. The reason this is an issue for me is because I try to make sure the posts on this blog are high quality, and when I have to go through and fix every capitalization error it makes posting submissions/asks even slower than usual for me.

If you’re sending an incorrect quote, include the source. If there is no source, say there’s no source.

Keep the discourse to a minimum! Please! Discourse stresses me out. There’s way too much of it on this site. Let me have ONE (1) part of this website where discourse is no issue.

LGBTQ+ gatekeepers (ace exclusionists/homophobes/biphobes/etc.) are not allowed. Asexuals are LGBTQ+. Trans people are LGBTQ+. Bi/pan people are LGBTQ+. If you try to imply that a particular LGBTQ+ identity isn’t LGBTQ+ then you will be blocked. Simple as that.

Racism, sexism, ableism, etc. of any variety is not allowed.

If asks and submissions are closed, that means that they are closed. I know I’m not the quickest at answering asks and submissions, but please wait. You can ask to make sure there isn’t some bug or error, but please don’t just DM a headcanon at random if the asks and submissions are closed. I won’t post it until it’s posted in my inbox. If you need to write it down to remember it, do so.

If I accidentally post anything that goes against these rules (aside from the headcanons in the asks thing, that I can deal with for now), tell me and I will delete the post (or fix it, if the change is minor). I will admit that I can be on the naive side. I may post something on accident that goes against what I want to have on this blog. If it breaks the rules, tell me so I can delete it.

Only add tags that apply directly to your submission. Don’t go through and blindly click every tag. Tag headcanons with the “smashy headcanons” and “headcanon” tags. Tag incorrect quotes with the “smashy quotes” and “incorrect quote” tags. And, if you are the person who came up with the quote and it didn’t originally come from somewhere else, THEN you can use the “source: original” tag; if it did come from somewhere else, please refer to rule 5 and INCLUDE THE SOURCE SO I CAN PUT IT IN THE TAGS! If there is an image in your submission, add the “image” tag. If there’s a video, add the “video” tag. Use common sense when tagging your submissions and tag them like you would add tags to your own posts (i.e. not adding a bunch of unnecessary things that don’t apply).

FAQ

Q: Is NSFW content allowed? A: No, this blog is strictly SFW. Any NSFW submissions will not be posted, and NSFW asks will not be answered.

Q: What do you mean by “TP” Link? Who is Raichu? A: There is a separate page on this blog explaining this topic in detail. I recommend looking at it if you’re new.

Q: Is there a smashy-headcanons Discord server? Will you make one? A: There is not one and there are no plans to make one. Assume that the answer is no unless I specifically say otherwise. Also, please don’t make one yourself. If there’s going to be a discord for the blog, I want to be the one to make it.

Q: Can we request headcanons for a particular character? A: Sure, go ahead. It might take a while and I usually only do about 1-5 per ask, but I will try.

Q: I’m seeing other people’s submissions on the blog, but there’s no submission link. Is something broken? A: If that’s the case, then check between Thursday 10am CST and Friday 10am CST. If they’re not open by then, then I probably turned them off because I had a lot of stuff in my inbox. Don’t send submissions as a private message; I turned them off for a reason.

Q: Are we allowed to ask questions that aren’t headcanon-related? A: Absolutely! It can be Smash-related or it can just be something random. It doesn’t even necessarily have to be a question.

Q: Can we request headcanons for a particular pairing? A: To a limited extent, I will give you ship-related headcanons. I won’t guarantee that I’ll answer yours, since I try to keep ship-related headcanons somewhat limited. That doesn’t mean you can’t tell me about your ship or ask about it. It’s just with headcanons that I try to keep them limited.

Links, Pikachu Line, Dr. Mario, and the Pokemon Trainers

You may notice I use different tags for the different Link/Zelda/Ganondorf incarnations, and that I refer to not only Pichu and Pikachu, but Raichu as well. I’m gonna go in detail on my explanation on the different terminology I use, but there’ll be a simplified reference afterward.

Links:

Young Link (MM Link) and Toon Link (WW Link), who have their own titles in Smash, are tagged as “young link” and “toon link” respectively, since that is what they are called in Smash Bros. With some Links, I add the abbreviation for the game the incarnation is from, as is the case with Breath of the Wild Link, Ocarina of Time Link, and (sometimes) Twilight Princess Link, whom I tag with “botw link”, “oot” link", and “tp link” respectively. Prior to Smash Bros. Ultimate, I used to refer to TP Link as just “Link”, so if you see a post mentioning/tagging just Link, know that the post is referring to TP Link. From now on, whichever incarnation of Link is being referred to will be explicitly stated.

I won’t worry much about specifying Zelda or Ganondorf’s incarnation, so just assume it’s either all incarnations or the most recently used one, unless the post specifies otherwise. In the case that I have to specify which one is being discussed, I will use the same shortening of the game titles as I do with Link (e.g. TP Zelda or OoT Ganondorf), but since there is now Zelda from A Link Between Worlds, I will refer to her as ALBW Zelda.

Pikachu Line:

My headcanon is that the Pikachu from SSB64 and SSBM is different than the Pikachu from SSBB, SSB4, and SSBU. Furthermore, I headcanon that SSB64/SSBM Pikachu evolved into Raichu and is no longer participating in Smash Bros, and SSBB+ Pikachu is the Pichu from Super Smash Bros. Melee. The Pichu in SSBU is a different Pichu that’s new to Smash. There is also a female Pikachu that was introduced in SSBU, and I will be referring to her as Pikette (suggested by mushroomfusion245). Additionally, apparently Pikachu Libre is going to be in SSBU; she will be called Pikachu Libre and tagged as “pikachu l”. Additionally, the Spiky-eared Pichu is in Smash as Pichu’s alternate costume, so I will tag her as “spiky eared pichu”.

Mario and Dr. Mario

This is a relatively recent change, but Mario and Dr. Mario are considered two separate people on the blog, with the latter being the father of the former (and Luigi). They will be tagged separately as well.

Pokemon Trainer Stuff

Since SSBU was announced to have both Red and Leaf and their Pokemon, I realized I’d have to tag them individually, as well as their Pokemon. That way, we can come up with headcanons for all of them.

I’ll use the tags “red”, “ivysaur”, “charizard”, and “squirtle” for Red and his Pokemon. For Leaf and her Pokemon, I’ll use “leaf”, “l ivysaur”, “l charizard”, and “l squirtle” to distinguish. The only difference between the tags and the names I’ll use is for Leaf’s Pokemon, which I will specify is Leaf’s Pokemon. For example, while I would call Red’s Charizard just Charizard, I would call Leaf’s Charizard “Leaf’s Charizard”.

Long story short, SSBU made stuff a lot more complicated.

Now that we’ve gotten the reasoning out of the way, here’s a reference for all this:

Link in SSB64 and SSBM (the adult Link, anyways): OoT Link

Young Link: Young Link

Toon Link: Toon Link

Link in SSBB and SSB4: TP Link (but just Link in posts prior to E3 2018)

Link in SBBU: BotW Link

Zelda in SSBU: ALBW Zelda

Pichu in SSBM/Pikachu in SSBB onwards: Pikachu

Pichu in SSBU: Pichu

Pikachu in SSB64 and SSBM: Raichu (since I headcanon that it evolved after SSBM)

Female Pikachu in SSBU: Pikette (will be tagged as “f pikachu”)

Spiky-eared Pichu in SSBU: Spiky-eared Pichu (tagged as “spiky eared pichu”)

Pikachu Libre (first appeared in Pokemon ORAS, look it up): Pikachu Libre (will be tagged as “pikachu l”)

Mario: Mario

Dr. Mario: Dr. Mario (will be treated as Mario and Luigi’s father)

Red and his Pokemon (plus their genders for clarity): Red (male), Ivysaur (male), Charizard (female), Squirtle (male)

Leaf and her Pokemon: Leaf (female), Leaf’s Ivysaur (l ivysaur) (male), Leaf’s Charizard (l charizard) (male), Leaf’s Squirtle (l squirtle) (female)

#I'll tag this with weekly rule reminder #the only time I won't tag it is if there is an update to the rules #which I'll put above the cut #not a headcanon #mine

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grandmascottlang · 5 years

Text

A general blog and life update.

Hello guys!!!

I'm gonna give my life update first because it's more important and will also have some impact on my blog as well.

A few things:

In the past few weeks, I haven't really been on Tumblr. This is for a number of reasons:

I had family in town. Since none of my family live anywhere near me, it's always a treat when the come down because I never really get to see them (for reference, I live in Colorado and about 90% of my family lives on the east coast).

(This deals with my family being here) I also had to make sure that my slightly older cousin wasn't messing up my room/destroying my PS4/just being overall sketchy while he was hanging out in my room. The reason he hung out in my room so much was because he was playing on my PS4 for almost 10 hours a day.

I had to read a book for school.

I promised my dad I would do something (I don't want to talk about what this thing is online) this summer because I told him that I just wanted to hang out with my friends and write this summer (mainly because I'm depressed and have no energy for anything else) and he said since I'm not getting a job that writing and reading my book for school isn't enough.

I didn't finish that one thing so he took away my phone. That literally sucked because half of my friends are online and being deprived of them made me even more depressed as well as a lot of my coping mechanisms depend on the internet and it's kind of hard to do them when your dad is breathing down your neck 24/7 making sure that you're doing something that you can't do because you're exhausted and depressed.

College (or Uni for you non-American folks lol) is coming up soon! We're actually on the road as of yesterday because I have to be on campus in a few days!

Basically a lot of things have happened. It's been a good and terrible past few weeks. I was trying my hardest not to relapse (and I didn't so that's really good!!!) but doing so ate up so much of my time and energy. I also didn't have any time to really write and I swear, I've been working on this Bucky fic for too long and it will be going up this week. By Wednesday. (Unless something comes up obvs.)

Another few blog things to add:

Times are changing on grandmascottlang. Main changes include/have included: a more multifandom approach to MCU content, not a lot of Good Omens content, revamping and redoing my taglists, significantly less Tom Holland posts.

Let's talk about the last point.

I don't really like the Tom Holland fandom anymore. It reminds me of how toxic the Phandom was in 2015; it's not enjoyable, fun, or easy to navigate through drama anymore. It's more annoying to me than anything else. It's such a bad community because so many people idolize Tom and say he can't do wrong or idolize him and get mad when he makes a mistake and it's just gross to me. I'm not the biggest on celebrity stan culture anymore because it's just unrealistic idolization. I'm sick and tired of it and I need to move on.

This doesn't have an impact on my fics, I will mainly post Peter Parker fics, but I'm moving away from writing TH fics (as I've mentioned before) and I'm staying away from RPFs in general. I'll maybe write them at some point, but I have no interest in writing any now.

Let's talk about Good Omens!

I love Good Omens (probably too much) and I adore the show and the book. I've been finding some really good books to read these past few months and I am so happy that the show became as popular as it did because I am absolutely loving the book!!! I already love the show so much, I've watched through it at least ten times already, and I'm so excited to finish the book!

I realized that I was posting so much GO content on this blog, I needed a sideblog for it. If you like GO, check out @ineffable-crowleys ! I reblog a lot of Ineffable Husbands fics, fanart, graphics, gifs, etc and I'm absolutely loving how kind and easy going the fandom is right now! I love reading theories so all of these headcanons are amazing!

Now let's talk about my taglists.

As a lot of you know, I have a taglist. Recently (2-3 weeks ago) I deleted everyone off of that list. I had so many inactive accounts on that list as well as people who didn't read my writing at all/people I don't like anymore on it. It was just easier to start from scratch rather than removing 500-1000 tags.

If you haven't filled it out, please fill it out if you want me to tag you! Even if we're friends, please fill it out again!

Here's the link for it.

Thank you again for filling it out! And a few things about my taglists:

I don't add people through asks or comments. I will redirect you to this form. It's so much easier for me that way.

Also, there's a three strike rule, you will be removed if you don't interact within three fics.

I will eventually close my taglists.

I only update my taglists once a week. Most likely on Thursdays.

#big update #life update #an update #fyi #depression tw #cutting tw #relapse tw

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juvellita · 5 years

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messy kbtbb character analysis

So… Let me just say that this is going to be LONG and MESSY post. I will try my best to make an analysis of all Kbtbb characters. Eisuke’s might be the longest, just because know about him more than any other bidders. This is more geared towards to those people who still have negative misconception about KBTBB. I get it. Their season 1 prologue did not give the best impression of those guys. I want to give you an insight of characters’ past, and why they are the way they were when MC first met them. PLEASE feel free to express your thoughts/ add on the comment section/reblogging! Let me know of what I am missing from character. I want to hear your analysis of characters too.

MORE UNDER

First things first. Let’s jog back to season 1. I know MANY people did not like this game in the beginning because how it hinted on human trafficking. Let me clear this out first; when Eisuke and other bidders created the auction, they made a rule of not selling any human in an auction, unless they are willing to be sold. This is mentioned in Episode 0: The Promise substory.

That’s not all though. Bidders approached mc in almost..inhuman manner. They treated her as a weird creature that they have never seen before. Why do you ask? All bidders have some sort tragic/traumatic past that cannot be easily cured. I have mentioned this briefly in my “short bidder’s complexity summary” post, but every single one of them has a reason why they cannot trust anyone that easily. Let’s look at each character in depth.

Let’s start with Ota and Eisuke, since these two characters were the MOST controversial characters when they were first released ( I apologize in advance if I miss anything for Ota. I have played his route every now and then, but I never actually read all his stories). WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD if you haven’t read any of their stories yet. Also… ALOT OF FAWNING UNDER EISUKE’S

First, Ota Kisaki (The Angelic Artist).

Essential Question: Why does he treat MC like a pet at first?

He was an unique artist ever since when he was little. No one acknowledged his art, except this guy named Doi (I believe), who was an artist. He keeps encouraging Ota to continue with his art, regardless of how others thought his art was so weird. This kind of event makes Ota ABSOLUTELY trust in Doi. He was the only one who supported his art preferences. Why is there reason not to trust him? Until… Doi plagiarized Ota’s work, and claim it as his own. At that time Doi was much of bigger artist than Ota, so Ota didn’t have any power to fight back that it was a lie. This.. made tragic mark on him. He refuses to trust anyone. I mean, it’s arguable right? Doi WAS the only one he trusted (before MC came into his life of course). He then creates this facade of “Angelic Artist”. It was his way of separating between the real him and the expectations from the others. That way, he wouldn’t have to go through the pain he went through again. When he first met MC, he called her ‘Koro’. The name ‘Koro’ was a way for him to put a distance with MC, since he refused to trust anyone after his most trusted companion betrayed him. A lot of people argue that how he treated MC like a pet was inhumane. I understand this also, because trust me… I was one of those people. However, the main purpose for calling her ‘Koro’ wasn’t to treat her like a pet. He was simply..afraid of getting close to another person and being hurt again. Koro starts out as a way to put boundary between MC and Ota. As the season continues, it becomes affectionate nickname for MC.

Eisuke Ichinomiya.

Essential Question: Why is he inhumanly cold?

Oh man, You all know how much I LOVE Eisuke (I mean.. Just look at my shet spam on my blog). I will try my best not to only fawn over him in the duration of this post.

Where do I even begin with Eisuke? I mean, I think his first description was “Cold-hearted billionaire”. He probably went through A LOT during his career. But If you still think he is cold-hearted, please look at all my screenshot spams. At least to Mc, he turns squishy marshmellow. When MC gives him that puppy dog eyes or when she smiles at him with uncontrollable happiness, there is NO way this man can say no to her.

In his Childhood Promise Substory, Eisuke only wanted power to save and protect ones he cared about and himself. He might come off as only selfish person in the beginning, but as story progresses on, you will know that is not true. He has difficult time expressing things in words.

Let’s first look at his family background. “Ichinomiya” isn’t his actual biological name. When he was young, his family went bankrupt. His father disappeared (Eisuke finds him again in season 5), and shortly after his mother’s health got worse and passed away. He got separated from his little sister (who he finds again in his s1 sequel), and Akira Ichinomiya adopts Eisuke, who was good friend of his biological father. Before meeting MC, everyone who approached him, only approached him for his power and money. Up until his S1 epilogue, he used to have a groupies, who were obsessed with Eisuke. When he sees them shet talking about MC, he threatens them he will ban them if they keep on creating a scene in his hotel (and we never see them again after that). Anyways, back to my point. These groupies only loved Eisuke for his money, power, and looks. Did they know a single thing about Eisuke? I doubt it. He only kept them around because he needed someone to numb his loneliness(numbing doesn’t solve any problem. He knew this, but regardless, he needed someone.). But beneath that cold facade, he was an absolutely lonely person. No one really loved him for he was. He was craving for genuine love, but no one gave that to him.. He have gave up on the idea of getting that love..Until Mc came to his life. MC was the only one who was able to see through Eisuke, and realize he is lonely. She never approached him for his power or money, and he realizes that her actions and thoughts toward him are genuine. (Seriously… read his pov if you have not, because they are the VERY reason why I LOVE Eisuke so much.) But he sometimes have wonders about what love is, since he was never used to being loved so genuinely by someone. In his season 3, he has doubts that his adoptive father actually loved him. Everyone around him only saw him as a man ‘capable’ of handling business. However, when he confronts Akira about it, he says that he wanted Eisuke to understand family love. He also claims how he is happy that Eisuke has finally found someone who can love him unconditionally (referring to MC). Then throughout multiple s3 substories (such as his bday story, under his protection, etc ...), you can see how the definition of ‘love’ changed for him. At first, he thought it was unnecessary thing (meaningless to say aloud). However as him and mc gets close in relationship, he notices expressing love for someone you love is important (hint s5). We also see that he is emotionally unstable. Mc is his big emotion supporter. You can see his emotion breaking through BIG TIME when MC gets in life or death danger (refer to my Desperate moment post if you haven’t already).

I want to also bring this to light: Eisuke has so many enemies. I don’t know what stuff he really did, but I can say some are just falsely created by some influential being. If you ever played Eisuke’s s2, do you remember how Shuichi and Hikaru approached Eisuke? Hikaru was assigned to assassinate Eisuke, believing that he was the one who killed his parents. Same goes for Shuichi. He at first believed that Eisuke was behind everything that happened to his family. However, after s2, they somehow realize that that is not the case. Some mastermind was controlling them to get rid of Eisuke. This still reminds mystery. I really hope they cover this in his s6 or s6.5.

A lot of thing that I mentioned for Eisuke, I have already mentioned through my screenshot posts, or other bloggers have said it already. It might sound repetitive, but I cannot enforce enough, how much mc means to Eisuke. She is basically his life, one existence that will drive him insane if MC is in trouble in any way (but then again, Eisuke is so extra sometimes LOL). He will literally do ANYTHING to make happy. Mc isn’t a selfish person, so this won’t EVER happen but, in theory ( I DID SAY IN THEORY, SO DON’T FREAK OUT), if she ever wanted someone to disappear because they have hurted her ever since she was little, Eisuke will not hesitate to make that come true (actually he will do it before she even mentions it). He believes that anyone who makes mc sad should not exist (at least not close to them). I mean… he even says this to his own son LOL. He will not hesitate to keep mc in his penthouse all day if he feels like she is in danger. Only reason why he doesn’t do this much anymore is because he knows how much mc doesn’t like that . This is where yandere eisuke came from because of how he is sometimes abnormally OBSESSED with MC. I mean...installing security cameras all around his hotel JUST for MC’s safety (and to check on her ...for his benefit). This just proves how all sense of his ‘logic’ flies out of window when it comes to MC. He perhaps might not know the ‘normal’ way to express his love, but he tries his best to show MC that he loves her. And mc knows this.

Any ways… I am gonna end my Eisuke post here… if I continue I will end up fawning more over him. SORRY I WAS SUPPOSED TO ANALYZE. I ENDED UP FAWNING

Baba Mitsunari

Essential Question: Why is he known as ‘playboy’?

There are many theories that this man has depression, which I honestly can see why. He is the nicest bidder in everyone’s route. He usually says hi to MC first when she comes in the penthouse, and cheers her up when she is seriously feeling down. He is quick to lend a hand when any of bidders are in trouble. His man has a tragedy… of not being able to truly love anyone, because he is scared that his ‘thief’ title will hurt the one he loves. He also wants to be loved like Eisuke and Ota, and give love, but he is SCARED. Unlike Eisuke or Ota though, Baba has tendency to deprecating himself. He once genuinely fell in love with this girl named Cynthia. However, he decides to leave her because he was scared that he would hurt her because of his career as a thief.

I have said it once, but I honestly think Baba is underestimated as a character. If I look at him closely enough, he probably is saddest character in KBTBB. Sad i mean…only one who probably realizes that he is sad. Other bidders are too prideful or disinterested in emotional feelings before mc comes in. Baba is probably the only character who is fully aware of what he is feeling even before mc coming into his life. I do not know much about Baba, but I can tell this much from observing him in Eisuke’s route. He only became known as ‘playboy’ because he knew he wasn’t able to stick to one woman without hurting them. Instead, he tries to numb his depression by having a lot of women around him, which obviously doesnt work.

Mamoru Kishi

Essential Question: Why is he so darn lazy?

You might not believe it but he used to be very passionate about his career. He had a investigation partner named Minami. However, one day, for some mysterious reason he died. Mamoru has made several attempts and proposals to solve the mystery of his death, but interpol has rejected his idea every time he proposed it. They all thought it was unnecessary to reveal that case was closed (in his route, we figure out Aida was behind all this). From that point on, he realizes how crooked and ‘good for nothing’ his job is, and he loses all motivation to work hard. I have never played his route so I cannot say much about him. But he is very skilled detective/policeman. He may not seem like it, but the way he gets Eisuke all those confidential information about interloper… i mean, I don’t think normal policeman can do that! In Eisuke’s season 5, Eisuke worries about Mamoru’s job in danger if he went such length to help him. But he assures him that it is fine since he is known as ‘slacker’ and so no one cares about him. He would go full length to uncover the truth once he sets his eyes on something.

Soryu Oh

Essential Question: Why is he allergic to women?

I mean… mainly because of his mafia title. Just like baba, he doesn’t think he deserves ordinary happiness nor could ever get one because of his career. Most times, his job is life or death matter. He has strong sense of what is ethical and what is not. He would hate to put anyone in danger because of him. Beneath that cold exterior, he is probably most normal person amongst the bidder. He is also the one who is (personality wise) close to describing mc. When he meets mc, and sees her devotion to stick something that she set her mind on, he falls for her.

I also think one main reason why he hated women is because how they were ‘used’ to secure his life. In one of Eisuke’s substory, Soryu mentions that he lost his virgin because it was ‘life or death’ matter. Although it is clearly not addressed, there might be some unspoken reason why he used not like women.

FYI... I typed this out on word doc first... it turned out to be 5 pages...

#eisuke ichinomiya #soryu oh #kbtbb #kissed by the baddest bidder #baba mitsunari #ota kisaki #mamoru kishi #hikaru aihara #shuichi hishikura

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sweetdreamr · 7 years

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thoughts on thor: ragnarok

I’m gonna preface this by saying that I really really wanted to like this movie. Like. Really.

But, as the Rolling Stones once said, we can’t always get what we want.

Be warned, this is long af.

Hits:

--Valkyrie--um, lethal, gorgeous, haunted by her past? Yes please. I’ve been a sucker for that one since my Xena fangirl days. Her bond with Hulk was also funny and warm (”Angry girl!” made me smile, the more so because she seemed less angry around him.) It was nice to see somebody having fun around here.

--Hela-- Her costume was epic. I was antsy about what they’d do with her clothing, given that it can be pretty, uh, minimal in the comics sometimes. Fortunately that didn’t happen here. She was equal parts scary, funny, and seriously badass, and i enjoyed the parallels between her relationship with Odin, and that of Loki and Thor.

--Grandmaster was fucking hilarious and occasionally cruel, and who knew Jeff Goldblum could rock blue eye makeup like that?

--Fenris. I still wanna pet the puppy. Even undead he is floofy and gorgeous.

--Thor having to see Hulk naked. That’s karma, asshole.

--Loki’s costumes were fantastic, and his ability to be equally resilient yet able to charm his way into the Grandmaster’s good graces (and STAY there, since the Grandmaster is fickle af) is one of the few things about him that stayed in-character.

--It’s nice to see Loki supporting the arts in Asgard. Also, eating healthy is important. U go Loki.

--Matt Damon had the role of a lifetime as Loki. He may as well end his career now, since it’s not gonna get any better than that.

--Odin’s death scene was really beautifully done. Even if Odin suddenly being about to die made no fucking sense. At least he doesn’t seem pissed at Loki, and let us have a nice little moment between them.

--I liked the acknowledgement that Odin’s power and wealth has a really ugly history. For all Asgard’s beauty, it’s built on something truly hideous.

--Loki: “You had ONE JOB.”

--Thor is right about Hulk’s room and its stylistic choices. It was ugly af.

--Literally everything Heimdall. He gets better with every film, but goddamn does he need more scenes. Still, his hair looks great and he’s the unsung hero of the film.

--Thor losing his eye and becoming more like Odin, but hopefully better. Also, harnessing his lightning/thunder powers fucking ruled.

--”Oh? You’re the God of Hammers now?” Odin pls stop making me laugh. I’m trying to hate you over here.

Misses:

Oh boy here we go, strap in kiddies.

--Odin’s power and legacy is shown, as mentioned above, to come from true ugliness, and yet? He doesn’t have to answer for it at all, and instead dies a peaceful death. I liked that scene, don’t get me wrong, but what the fuck?

--Really, Loki? Skurge was the best replacement you could find for Heimdall? Maybe try Ziprecruiter or something next time?

--Thor. Um, has anyone seen this guy? Do you think he knows that some douchebag stole his outfit and is douching his way around the multiverse pretending to be the God of Thunder for most of the film? More on this later.

--Why would the realms have gone to hell after Loki assumed the throne? Nothing in his past within the films indicated to me that he’d be a poor ruler, certainly no worse than Odin. He might get bored with it, and come to dislike it, but Loki can and does do many things he doesn’t particularly like, and does them well. (Exhibit A: playing second fiddle to Thor, etc.)

--How the fuck did Loki’s spell drain Odin of his magic? Also, if Loki is that powerful, how the fuck did Dr. Strange manage to trap him for 30 seconds, let alone 30 minutes?

--Seriously, Odin’s death made no goddamn sense. At all.

--I’m calling a bam on Thor saying “I have a feeling it will all work out fine.” THOR. IT GETS WORSE AFTER YOU SAY THAT. EVERY TIME. STOP.

--Dr. Strange’s cameo was a waste of my fucking time. That’s like 20 minutes of my time that I will never get back. You’d think, being such an experienced actor, that Benedict Cumberbatch’s American accent would be way better, but it sounds awful. Like, really really awful. I’d rather fall for 30 minutes with Loki than have to listen to that auditory nightmare again.

--Who was Hela’s mother? (I mean given that her father is Odin, her mother could be pretty much ANYONE.) Not a big deal that we never found out, but it annoyed me anyway.

--Are we gonna talk about how Hulk has spent the last two years fucking murdering people?

--Also, how the fuck did Odin convince an entire kingdom (or NINE) that his daughter never existed? I’m assuming magic, but as the writers didn’t give enough of a damn to think this was worth explaining, I’m not about to theorize and do their job for them.

--WHY DID I HAVE TO BE SUBJECTED TO HULK’S NAKED ASS? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE HAVING TO SEE THAT WITH MY OWN EYEBALLS. THIS IS NOT OKAY.

--The Warriors Three died the most pointless fucking deaths ever, literally for no goddamn reason. There was no need to kill them off, since it would have been perfectly logical for Thor to send them to various parts of the realms to restore peace. Honestly, the only reason for their deaths that I can fathom would have been to increase Thor’s grief, but we never see him learn of their deaths or mourn them, so that can’t be it. Again, pointless.

Remember when I said I’d talk about Thor’s OOC behavior later? It’s later. And OH BOY do i have a lot to say.

--I’m about to contact the authorities and put in an MIA search for Loki and Thor’s character development. It was nowhere to be seen in this film. They were just tossed straight into their old cycle of betray, threaten, beat up. It’s stupid as fuck, and I’m really fucking annoyed that I have to sit through this again. Sometimes it’s entertaining but at this point? It’s just tedious.

I’d also like to point out that the initial relationship presented to us in the first Thor film was really not that cycle. It’s vaguely hinted at, but not completely spelled out. There was genuine love and affection punctuated by the occasional prank, but that’s pretty much all I got. While I recognize that the cycle is a central theme in the comics, the film versions are very, very different. That said, it makes giving the film characters the storylines of their comic book counterparts is a tricky business that needs to be handled a LOT better than it was here.

Spoiler alert: It was not handled well here. At all.

Oh, then there’s Thor’s repeated line of “That’s what heroes do”, which was reminiscent of this:

Not a great parallel to evoke, guys. I’m just saying.

Because last time I checked, heroes don’t leave their brothers tazed and convulsing on the floor. That’s not a hero move, that’s a dick move. Thor is supposed to have evolved from that, and bringing it back for the sake of punchline just feels like a cheap-ass way of getting laughs. (Yes, there’s the possibility that they planned this together, but again, I’m not wasting my time honeypotting for hack writers.)

I mean, the Thor we’ve been presented with so far is warm-hearted and smarter than most people think, and he does his best to make things right when he fucks up.

Except for this movie, apparently.

Also, while I didn’t mind Loki’s ‘looking out for ME’ mindset (it’s one of the few things that actually made sense--I mean fuck, who else is gonna do it?), Thor’s surprise at it was kind of ridiculous. What the fuck did you expect? It’s like he totally forgot that, at the end of the first film, he realized his role in inflicting damage onto Loki that helped to make him into what he was.

Instead it was like:

Um yes. Yes it fucking does. Does this negate Loki’s choices, or his actions? Fuck no. But it did play a role, so let’s at least acknowledge that, shall we? Having said that, it’s logical to conclude that continuing the same behavior that inflicted the initial damage is counterproductive at best. And a shitty creative choice if ever there was one.

Thor’s anger over Odin’s death, and Loki’s supposed causing of it (albeit intentionally) made sense, (i guess? i didn’t understand Odin’s death scene in case u hadn’t noticed) but it was done in such a weird way. “I hate you, oh no wait let’s banter, oh okay now i’m mad at you again, whoops no i’m not” all throughout the film. Conflicting feelings is one thing, but goddamn, pick a fucking flavor.

Also, what the fuck is Marvel’s issue with portraying psychological trauma? The way they do it, it’s like it isn’t even worth mentioning unless it can be played for laughs. (See: Naked Selvig running around in TDW, without much reference as to why he’s doing that. “Oh he’s naked hahaha”, yeah, let’s not treat this with any sympathy at ALL, good job Marvel.)

And in Loki’s case? Oh God. The whole scene where he sees Hulk again is just. So awful. That it’s played for laughs makes it worse. Loki getting his comeuppance from Hulk during the first film after trying to use him actually had purpose (Loki’s defeat and Hulk’s taking revenge at being used), but since he hasn’t done anything to Hulk during Ragnarok, it’s just not all that funny.

I mean, fucking hell, psychological trauma does have absurdities that can lend their way to humor, but doing it at the expense of the traumatized person is fucked up and gross. Whether or not the traumatized person is a nice person or not really doesn’t come into it. Or at least, it shouldn’t.

Myy good friend @icyxmischief has a lot of meta about this on her blog, and she’s way more eloquent than me, so please go read it. It’s amazeballs.

#thor: ragnarok #thor: ragnarok spoilers #i am not a satisfied customer

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