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parkjimnastics · 6 months ago
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lolabangtan · a month ago
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STAY | jjk
Jeon Jungkook, the campus biggest jerk, is at your door begging for your merciful help. Not in person, though – no, he’d never dare. It's your friend Ari, asking you to help her boyfriend’s friend by taking him in and letting him rent your flat’s spare room after being kicked out of his.
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Word count: ??
Warnings: explicit sexual content, alcohol consumption, swearing, depression.
# jock!Jungkook, ex queen bee!noona reader, college AU, enemies to lovers, roommates AU, side Jimin x OC, fake dating, pining, bets, slow burn, forced proximity.
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INDEX
01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18
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A/N: dm me, reply, or send an ask if you want me to add you to the tag list.
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neonlights92 · 4 months ago
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Night Changes: PART ONE
Jeon Jungkook has spent the last twenty years alone.  Single.  Solo. 
And that’s just the way he likes it.  That is, until he meets the supposed love of his life.  Suddenly he’s falling over himself at the chance of a real relationship with someone.
The only thing getting in his way? You.
genre: fuckboy!jungkookie, college!jungkookie, romcom, e2l (kinda)
A/N: my attempt at a college kookie story? enjooooy
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--
Perhaps it is the universe telling him to stop drinking. 
Jeon Jungkook really needs to start listening to the universe, and stop listening to - well to put it bluntly - his penis. 
When he wakes up in another stranger’s bed, with a splitting headache, and lipstick marks scattered across his chest, he reckons he should start making better life choices. 
The young woman sharing his bed - a girl from the party last night, with legs that go on for miles - rolls over and blinks her eyes open sleepily.  She smiles at him.
“Hi Jungkook.” 
He racks his brain for her name.  Jisoo… Jennie… Lisa… Rose? 
He feels bad - he really really does - but what can he do?  He was seven tequilas in, when Taehyung convinced him that taking her home would be a good idea. 
“Hi…. You.”  He finishes lamely, smiling sheepishly. 
She blinks again, this time a little more furious.  Her eyes narrow after a moment. 
“You don’t remember my name, do you?”  She purses her stained lips, and Jungkook really does feel awful.
Or maybe that’s just the hangover. 
“I uh - maybe.  It’s.. Last night’s a little bit grainy for me, to be honest.”
She seems unimpressed, arching a well-groomed brow, “You’re in most of my classes at college, Jeon Jungkook.”
And really that’s when he feels like a complete asshole. 
“Shit.  I’m sorry,” He tries to place her - he tries so fucking hard - but he knows he doesn’t recognise her, and a worm of guilt starts niggling in the pit of his stomach.
She rolls her eyes and sits up, pressing a hand against her forehead and clicking her tongue, “Whatever.  Just get out.  Jerk.” 
Jungkook feels bad.  Seriously, he does. 
But he can’t help but share her sentiment.  
He scrambles out of bed, fishing around her bedroom floor for the jeans he so carelessly threw off, and the white shirt he’s sure is stained with something he’ll never be able to get rid of.  He stumbles into the clothing and turns back towards the nameless woman glaring at him from underneath the covers.
“Do you hate me?”
She rolls her eyes, “Get out of my house, asshole.” He winces.  He knows he deserves that.
“See you soon?” She shakes her head, and tugs a hand through her unruly hair, “Hopefully not.” Jungkook bolts out of there like his life depends on it but just as he pulls the front door open, somebody else blocks his way.  And suddenly everything in the world shifts, and he feels as though his heart has just split open right down the middle. 
Because standing in front of him, holding two bags of groceries, is an absolute angel.  
Jungkook thinks - no he’s certain - she’s the most beautiful woman he’s seen in his entire life, and now he understands the songs, and the sonnets and the plays.  This is what love at first sight is.
It has to be.
“Oh.”  She laughs a little, “Hi.” 
Jungkook’s eyes widen, “Hi.”
“You must be Y/N’s guest.” 
Y/N.  So that’s her name.
“Uh… Yeah.”
Her cheeks flush brightly, “I’m Soomi, Y/N’s roommate.” 
“Nice to meet you Y/N’s roommate.  I’m Jungkook.”
When she giggles, Jungkook feels like he’s ascended into another plane of existence.  
“Well it’s nice to meet you too.”  Her eyes lower to his haphazardly buttoned shirt, “Under the circumstances.” Jungkook feels stupid and wonderful all at the same time, and just as he’s about to do something crazy - like ask for her number, or ask her to marry him, even - somebody clears their throat from behind him.
In a moment, Jungkook remembers exactly where he is.  His heart drops.
Shit.
Y/N.
“I see you’ve met the asshole I slept with last night,” Y/N raises a brow and clicks her tongue, “You were just on your way out, Jungkook, weren’t you?”
“I… Uh…  Yeah.  On my way out.” Jungkook knows he has no right to feel dejected - after all he was the one who couldn’t remember Y/N’s name in the first place.  But he’s sure Soomi might very well be the love of his life, and he can’t possibly just walk out like this, can he? But when he turns to face Soomi he notices she’s already stepped out of the way for him… And there’s really nothing more he can do.  
“Well uh… It was nice to meet you Soomi,” He moves into the hallway and turns to give Y/N a half smile, “See you in class.”
“Like I said.”  Y/N pulls a face, “Hopefully not.”
Soomi giggles again and he feels like he’s been shot straight through the heart, “Bye Jungkook!”
The door slams shut in his face, and the moment Jungkook is alone he notices how quickly his heart is racing.  Oh god.
He’s in love. 
He has to be.
//
“Jungkook.  You’re being ridiculous.”  Jungkook’s roommate Namjoon rolls his dark eyes, “She is not the “love of your life.”  Stop being so dramatic, you sound like Jin.” Jungkook feels like his heart is about to burst.  It’s been less than three hours since he met Soomi and all he can think about is the curve of her smile.
“No.  I’m serious, Namjoon.  C’mon, when have you ever known me to feel this way about a girl?”
Namjoon sets his mug of coffee to one side and clicks his tongue, “Never.  I’ve never known you to feel this way about a girl.  Which only further proves my point - you’re being ridiculous.”
“You’re just made of ice,” He comments bitterly, “I’m serious Namjoon.  I’m in love.”
“Listen Jungkook you know I usually love to disagree with Namjoon,” This comes from Jungkook’s other roommate Taehyung who is slung across the couch lazily, “But I’ve got to say… This time he’s got a point.  You sound like a crazy person.”
“If you saw her you’d know exactly what I mean.” 
Namjoon rolls his eyes so hard Jungkook is surprised he doesn’t lose one to the back of his skull.
“It’s a girl Jungkook.  A girl you met for all of twenty seconds.” “She was an angel.”
Taehyung giggles, “You’ve really got it bad huh?” “My heart hasn’t stopped pounding since I left her.”  Jungkook feels himself deflate slightly, “I need to see her again.” “And how are you going to do that?”  Taehyung raises a dark brow, “Surely you don’t have any classes with her, or you would’ve seen her by now.”
“No but… I have classes with Y/N.”  Jungkook knows it’s a dumb suggestion.  
But he can’t help it.  He needs to see Soomi again. 
“Y/N as in the girl who you slept with and who’s name you couldn’t remember?”  Namjoon scoffs, “Even you can’t be dumb enough to think she’d help you out of the goodness of her heart.”
“No… Maybe not out of the goodness of her heart.”  Jungkook agrees, carding a hand through his cherry red locks, “But I can figure out something she wants.  Y’know… Mutually beneficial.”
“I hope you’re not talking about your penis,” Taehyung pulls a face. 
“Have you not been listening for the past hour Taehyung?  I am in love with Soomi - I’m not about to sleep with her roommate...Again.  I’m a one woman man.”
Namjoon pushes himself to his feet, “Your only hope is that she’s in love with somebody else.  Somebody you could potentially help her seduce.”
Jungkook stands too, “That’s brilliant.” “What about Hoseok?” Taehyung cocks his head to the side, “Everybody’s in love with Hoseok.”
“Do not drag Hoseok into this Jungkook.”  Namjoon gives his friend a pointed look, “I’m serious.  He’s still heartbroken over Alexa.”
“Alexis,” Taehyung corrects, “Why can’t you ever bother to get the names of our girlfriends right?”
As Namjoon and Taehyung argue over Namjoon’s inability to remember names correctly, Jungkook starts thinking of all the ways he can convince Y/N to help him with Soomi.
It’ll be a piece of cake.
Or so he hopes.
//
Monday morning rolls around and Jungkook spends practically every minute from the moment he leaves his dorm scouring the campus for Y/N.  She isn’t in his first class of the day - or even the second.  By his third class of the day he starts to wonder if maybe she’d confused him with someone else.
Maybe there’s another Jeon Jungkook on campus who sleeps with attractive women and forgets their name in the morning.  Somebody else is stealing his game.
But then - like a vision from heaven - she walks into his political science class as if she isn’t the key to all his happiness. Her eyes flit across the lecture room and when they land on Jungkook she glares.  He wants to sink back against himself but he refuses - instead he smiles widely and gestures for her to sit in the empty seat beside him.
She shakes her head as if he’s crazy (and to be honest, he might be) and instead moves towards the very back, sliding into a seat all on her own. 
Jungkook grunts.  He can’t really blame her. 
Still.  Does she really have to make things so difficult?
He grabs his books and shuffles over to where Y/N is sat, engrossed by something on her phone.  When he looks closer he realises it's one of those pimple popping compilations on Youtube.
Gross.
Jungkook clears his throat and when she looks up her expression morphs from surprise into annoyance.
“What are you doing?”
“Sitting beside my new friend,” He grins wider, “Y/N.”
Her eyes narrow into slits, “What do you want?”
“To make amends,” Jungkook answers immediately, “I kind of feel like an asshole.” “You should.”  She gives him another look of annoyance, “But I’m also not stupid.  You’ve got the hots for Soomi, haven’t you?”
Jungkook feels his stomach drop.  Is he that obvious?
“Everyone has the hots for Soomi,” Y/N waves her hand noncommittally and gives him a once over, “Though not everyone has slept with her roommate.”
Jungkook winces.  It’s clear Y/N despises him.
“Would it help if I said I was sorry?”
“For forgetting my name or for giving me the worst head of my life?” The insult sears him.  Jungkook may be a little bit of a lady’s man but he’s always been determined to please his lovers.  He wishes he could remember any part of their tryst (to prove her wrong, more than anything) but once again he draws a blank.
“I can make it up to you.” She raises a brow, “I highly doubt that.”
Jungkook opens his mouth to argue with her - before Y/N’s attention is stolen by the figure that has just walked through the double doors of their lecture room.  Jungkook follows her gaze and smirks when he realises who she’s staring at.
“So you have the hots for Park Jimin then?”
Y/N’s eyes snap up to meet his and she seems flustered, “What?”
“You just looked at him like he rearranged the stars to spell your name,” Jungkook’s smirk widens, “You like him.”
Y/N looks ready to smack him across the face.  
“Shut up.”
“I’m not wrong though, am I?” When her eyebrows dip into a scowl, Jungkook knows he’s won this battle.  He leans towards her, conspiratorially. 
“I know Jimin well.”
That’s kind of a bold statement (and kind of a lie.)  Jungkook knows of Jimin.  He’s on the same dance team as Taehyung and Hoseok - two of Jungkook’s closest friends.  That’s enough of an in, isn’t it?
“No you don’t.”  She mutters with a roll of her eyes, “I can see where you’re going with this.”
“No seriously.  He’s best friends with Kim Taehyung,” Again a slight overstatement, but Jungkook doesn’t correct himself, “And Taehyung is like my brother.  We grew up together.”
“So what?  You help me out with Jimin and I have to do the same for Soomi?”  She scoffs, “Soomi and I are best friends.  I don’t want to lie to her.” “It wouldn’t be lying.”  Jungkook’s voice pinches a little, “It’s just helping fate along.” “Fate?”  Y/N’s expression morphs into one of disbelief, “Oh my god.  You really do have the hots for her.” “If cupid himself descended to earth and shot me in the ass with an arrow, I’d feel exactly the same for her.  Seriously.”
Y/N seems to contemplate the suggestion.  Her eyes move to meet the back of Jimin’s head - where he’s sat in the front row - and she sighs heavily.  Jungkook tries to read her face. 
Is she softening up to the idea?
“Let’s say I agreed to help you.”  Her voice is flat, “How can I be sure Soomi won’t just be another notch on your bedpost?”
Jungkook feels his chest constrict, “I resent that.  Just because I have more experience than others doesn’t mean I’m an asshole.  I don’t pursue women with the intentions of fucking them over.”
He won’t admit it but that assumption kind of pisses him off.  
When Y/N is quiet a moment longer, Jungkook sighs and tugs a hand through his hair. 
“If I do fuck her over…. Which I won’t.  I give you full permission to start a rumour that my penis is the size of a cocktail sausage.  I won’t even deny it.”
Y/N’s eyes widen and Jungkook notices (but doesn’t comment on) a red flush to her neck.
“Alright.  Fine.  I’ll help you out with Soomi, if you help me out with Jimin.”
Jungkook has to force himself not to punch the air in triumph.  Instead he grins - nice and wide - and nudges Y/N playfully, “I think this is the start of a very beautiful friendship.”
She groans.
“I’m already regretting this.”
//
Jungkook sends Y/N a text message the next morning, bright and early.  He doesn’t expect a response from her - he assumes she’s more of a night owl than an early bird - but then his phone pings in response and he has to say he’s a little surprised.
Jungkook: good mornin’ y/n… this is cupid calling 
Y/N: y’know..  I knew giving you my number was a bad idea 
Jungkook: oh c’mon don’t be like that, now that we’re friends you should definitely start warming up to me
Her reply takes a little longer but Jungkook isn’t worried.  Despite what she feels towards him, Y/N thinks her only way to Jimin’s heart is through Jungkook.  So she’ll just have to put up with it.
Y/N: I just puked in my mouth at the thought of warming up anywhere close to you.  Gross
Jungkook smiles at her response.
Jungkook: I think you like me more than you're willing to admit.  Anyway we need to get on with our…. Agreement.  Want to come round this evening to discuss arrangements?  I’ll even throw in some pizza and beer.
Y/N: I only like hawaiian.
Jungkook: Disgusting.  You and Namjoon will get on fantastically then.  Alright hawaiian it is. 
He sends her his address and when she replies with the puking emoji he laughs despite himself.
Maybe she’s not all that bad.
//
“Pineapple on pizza is a cardinal sin.” Y/N glares at Jungkook as she tucks into her third slice, “Why are you hating?”
“I just - I don’t get it.”
Y/N had arrived at his apartment earlier that evening with a six pack of beer in what Jungkook had assumed was a begrudging olive branch.  The two of them had spent the last hour discussing the delicate intricacies of mario kart, and Jungkook had found himself enjoying her company more and more.
He hated to admit it but she was kind of cool.
Only kind of, though.
“You don’t get it because your taste buds are subpar,” She moves her mouth into a small smile and Jungkook almost gasps at the gesture, “Hawaiian is the only acceptable way to eat pizza.  Period.”
“Y’know you look much cuter when you smile,” He quips, watching as she chokes on the last piece of crust, “You should do it more often.” Her eyes narrow into a glare, “I smile at people who bother to remember my name.”
“I thought you’d forgiven me for that.  I’m helping you out with Jimin aren’t I?”
Y/N laughs - and Jungkook is surprised at the warmth in her tone, “At a price.  Or are you forgetting I’m setting you up with Soomi?”
“Which reminds me,” He scoots closer towards her, pushing the pizza box out of the way, “What’s our plan of action?” Y/N seems to pause for a moment, her eyes flicking nervously across his face as she tucks some of her hair behind her ear.  Jungkook doesn’t comment on her sudden shift in behaviour, but he notices it. 
Man.  Girls are weird.
“I thought maybe… You could come over one night, to watch a movie or whatever.  And you could ask Taehyung and Jimin to join, too.”
Jungkook nods emphatically, “That’s a good plan.  Something intimate to really plant those seeds of love.”
Y/N laughs again and he notices the crinkles at the sides of her eyes when she does so.  Weird.  Why hasn’t he seen those before?  Admittedly… It’s kind of adorable.
“Plant those seeds of love,” She pulls a face, “You really are a wordsmith, Jeon Jungkook.” 
“Is it any wonder when my major is English lit?”
“Me too,” She cocks her head to one side, hair falling out from behind her ears, “Makes sense why you’re in most of my classes.”
Jungkook feels kind of (very) guilty as memories of their morning together are brought back.
“I really do feel like shit for not remembering you.”  He rubs the back of his neck in that universal boy sign for awkwardness, and clicks his tongue, “I wish I had.”
She shrugs, her eyes darkening a moment as she looks away, “It’s alright.  I’m kind of used to it to be honest.  Always been more of a... Background kind of person.” 
Jungkook clucks, like a mother hen disappointed at her chicks, “Hey don’t say that about yourself.”
When Y/N moves her eyes to meet with his own again, Jungkook notices she doesn’t seem angry or bitter.   Just resigned.
“But it’s true,” She licks her bottom lip and smiles almost sadly, “Soomi’s always been the centre of attention everywhere we go.  And I’ve known her… Forever, really.  So it makes sense.  Someone always has to take the back seat.  I don’t mind it.  Suits me just fine.”
Now Jungkook really feels like an asshole.  When she was prickly, it was easy to shove everything under the carpet, and pretend that not knowing her name wasn’t sort of horrible.
But now she was being nice, it made everything a hundred times worse.
“I’m sorry Y/N.  Really.”  
She meets his gaze again and smiles - this time a little lighter, “Don’t worry about it.  Now you know who I am… And you’ll never forget it.  Not least because I’m the love of your life’s best friend.”
Jungkook feels kind of awful right now, but he knows that apologising again will probably only annoy her.  He tucks his guilt somewhere into the back of his mind and smiles widely, trying to ease the mood.
“Right.  And I’m the person who is going to help you snag the man of your dreams!” 
She laughs at that, taking a final chug of her beer before setting the empty bottle to one side.
“Park Jimin here I come!”
“You’ve got a one way ticket to Bonetown and Jimin is flying first class!”
She laughs louder, this time snorting, “That makes no sense, but I’ll take it.”
They spend the rest of the evening hanging out in a way that feels strangely familiar, and it’s only when Y/N’s head begins to lull to one side that Jungkook realises it’s past three am.  And as he orders her an uber home, and insists she takes the final slice of pizza for the journey home, Jungkook realises that Y/N is more than just kind of cute.
She’s kind of great.
//
Later on that week, as Jungkook fills Namjoon and Taehyung in on his progress with Y/N, the former seems less than impressed.
“This is only going to end badly.”  Namjoon shakes his head, “Haven’t you ever seen a romantic comedy?  Shit like this only ends in tears.”
Jungkook takes a swig from his beer and rolls his eyes, “Have you ever tried to be positive a single day in your life Namjoon?  Y/N agreed to help me.  It’s progress.”
“But you dragged me into it,” Taehyung seems unimpressed, “And I told you me and Jimin aren’t even that close.”
“Okay so I might have embellished slightly….”
“Slightly?  You called us the best of friends,” Taehyung groans at his friend’s stupidity, “I’m not sure Jimin even knows what major I’m taking.”
“This is the most Jungkook problem of all time,” Namjoon guffaws at the situation, “How the hell are you going to sort this out.” “Tae - I just need you to convince Jimin to come on one date.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes, “I don’t know him that well, Kook.  What exactly am I supposed to say?” 
“I don’t know but you once convinced your mom those nudes of you that got leaked senior year of high school were actually for an art project,” Jungkook pleads with his friend, “I know  you can do this.” Taehyung laughs at the memory and pulls a face, “If he says no though, there’s not much else I can do.” “Fine.  But at least try.”
Jungkook knows that the universe is working in his favour.  It has to be.  The moment he laid eyes on Soomi he knew he’d never be happy again without her.
“Alright Kook I’ll try.  But I’m not making any promises.” Jungkook grins, “You’re the best.”
“I know I am,” He leans further back into the couch and grabs a slice of the pizza Namjoon ordered, surreptitiously picking off the pineapple, “Now what are you going to do about Y/N?” Jungkook raises a brow, “What do you mean?” “Well you described her as a she-demon,” Namjoon snorts, choking on some of his beer, “How exactly is that going to seduce Jimin?” “Remember everyone loves him,” Taehyung tacks on - less than helpfully - his smirk growing, “She’s going to have to get in line.” “Everyone does not love Jimin.”
Taehyung scoffs, “You’re kidding right?  I once watched him turn down three girls in one night.”
“Yeah.  This girl from my psych class says he’s still heart broken from his ex,” Namjoon seems to be enjoying Jungkook’s predicament a little too much, “Says he won’t even give anyone a chance.”
Jungkook refuses to let his friends’ pessimism get in the way of his elation.  He’s one step closer to Soomi, and if Jimin thinks he can be the one to stand in his way he’s got another thing coming.
“I’ll make it work.”  He answers with more confidence than he necessarily feels, “Besides, Y/N’s not that bad.  In certain lights she might even be considered kind of… Cute.  She’s just a little...brash.”
“Could her brashness towards you be due to the fact you forgot her name after an evening of vigorous love making?”  Taehyung gives his friend a knowing look, “I mean that would probably even hurt you Jungkook.  And you’re the master of not giving a fuck.”
“I apologised.”  He says it like that should fix everything, but in the depths of his heart Jungkook knows forgetting her name was kind of (really) shitty, “Besides.  If I really do set her up with Jimin and this all works out perfectly she’ll have a lot to thank me for.  Might even forgive me.”
Taehyung laughs and Namjoon pulls a face.
“We live in hope.” “That we do Joon.” Jungkook grins, “That we do.”
//
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latetaektalk · a year ago
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after i left you | jjk
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“when you decided to meet up with taehyung for dinner to reconnect, you didn’t expect to see jungkook, your ex, on a date with his current girlfriend and not to mention, end up fake dating taehyung.”
genre: exes! AU, fake dating! AU, enemies to lovers-ish! AU, unrequited feelings-ish! AU, angst, fluff
pairing: jungkook x female reader 
word count: 38.985 
warnings: cursing, reader feels very guilty in this one, alcohol consumption (nothing major/bad though)
playlist: happier - ed sheeran, just asking - aquilo, my tears ricochet - taylor swift, one last time please - dodie
a/n: uh, super nervous to post this because ive never written so much before, but i had a ton of fun and i hope you guys enjoy it! if you guys have any problems reading, liking or reblogging it, please let me know! im not sure if tumblr can handle such a word count, so id appreciate it if you guys would tell me if something doesnt work and ill figure it out! anyway, hope you guys enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing this!
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The restaurant Taehyung picked was big but cozy. It was one huge room that stretched out further than your eyes could see. It was soaked in golden light, soaked in warmth and comfort. Everything was made out of wood, dark rich wood, and it smelled like home-cooked food. The smell wafted through the entire place. 
“‘Let’s all have dinner,’ they said, huh?” Taehyung said and looked around, no Yerim or Yoongi in sight. You laughed and shrugged.
“Yeah, sucks that they had to cancel last minute, but next time, we’ll be all together,” you said and skimmed the hard edges of the menu in your hands.
“Yeah, I know, but I thought we’d find the time once you returned,” Taehyung sighed and put down his menu with a frown.
“Definitely sucks,” you agreed and put down your menu as well. “But I’m happy that at least you and I could find the time.”
Taehyung and you smiled at each other and you could still barely believe it, could still barely believe that you were not only back in your hometown, but sitting in front of Taehyung and having dinner with him. It was all very surreal to you, and even though barely half an hour had passed since you had first seen Taehyung again in four years, things felt like they had never changed. There was no awkwardness, no long silences or weird tension between you. Both of you had simply picked up from where you left off. 
“Tell me, Y/N, how was America?” Taehyung asked and plopped his elbow onto the table before letting his chin fall into his open palm and tilting his head to the side. You mirrored him and let out a hum, the golden light pouring down both of your faces and bringing out the corners of your features.
Taehyung’s hair had grown out a lot since you had last seen him. In fact, it was permed now. And even though both of you had finished puberty by the time you had left, he seemed to have gotten a little taller. He had somehow grown into his face and turned into one gorgeous man with fluffy and luscious locks.
“Well, exhausting. I was always studying and pulling all-nighters, and it was so hard at times. The homesickness certainly didn’t make it any easier,” Taehyung smiled, “but it was- it was so worth it.”
“That’s great,” he said and you knew he meant it, knew he was genuinely happy for you. You beamed at him. “You really enjoyed it, didn’t you? America, I mean.”
“Yeah, it was- it was great, truly,” you said with a nod and remembered all of the memories you had made over the past four years. “It was really what I needed. Really the time of my life.”
Taehyung’s smile widened into a grin and you let your words sink in, sink in for him and for you as well. It was in the silence that you felt the guilt come back, hit you square in the face and leave you breathless.
You leaned back and grabbed the edge of the table. You lowered your head and Taehyung perked up, feeling the shift the moment it had happened.
“I’m sorry.”
Taehyung raised his brows at you and let his hand fall onto the table as he leaned forward, trying to see what you were apologising for.
“I- I feel bad,” you started up again and tucked a strand behind your ear. “It sounds like I didn’t enjoy being here and-”
“No, Y/N, don’t,” Taehyung reached over the table and grabbed your hand, taking it into his, “There’s no need to apologise. You worked your butt off to win that scholarship and fulfilled your dream. That’s great.”
“Yeah, but I abandoned you guys,” you mumbled and shrugged. You pulled away your hand, but Taehyung was quick to tighten his grasp, quick to put his other hand over yours and squeeze your hand. 
“Stop saying that, Y/N,” Taehyung shook his head at you, eyes drilling holes into your head as you continued to stare down at your lap, “You didn’t ‘abandon’ us. That’s bullshit and you know it.”
Taehyung pulled on your hand and waited for you to raise your head, and when you did and met his gaze, he offered you an even bigger grin than before.
“You don’t have to feel bad for going to America to go study,” he said and tilted his head to the side, bangs tickling his eyes. “We were and still are genuinely happy for you.”
“He wasn't.”
Taehyung’s hands tightened around yours at your words, and he pressed his lips into a thin line, giving you a look that had you shifting in your seat and shrugging in defense.
He hadn’t been happy for you at all when you had told him you had won a scholarship to go study in America. You had expected hugs and cheers, but received cold stares and bitter words instead. When the summer had neared its end and you had to leave, he hadn’t been there. Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi had all hugged and kissed you goodbye, had wished you the best, but he, the person you had wanted to be with you right now the most, had been by your side.
You were eighteen, barely an adult, when you had boarded the plane to America without him kissing your forehead and wishing you the best, and you never forgot that, forgot just how unhappy and miserable you had made him.
“He wasn’t,” you repeated like it excused your words in any way. Taehyung opened his mouth to launch into a speech, a speech you already knew by heart without having heard it a single time. 
“Y/N-”
“This place,” you started and pulled your hand away, gesturing around you. “It’s nice.”
Taehyung blinked at you, obviously contemplating whether or not to allow you to change the subject like that, and you were more than glad when he leaned back into his chair and nodded.
“Yeah, it opened recently,” he said with a smile and you smiled right back at him. Both of you shared a look for a moment and after many years of friendship, there was no need for words, no need for you to thank him for letting you off the hook like that.
“It’s so nice,” you repeated and you barely heard Taehyung’s laugh as you let your gaze wander, taking it all in.
Seemingly every table was filled, and everybody was in their own world. You could hear laughter and shrieks in between the conversations, and a smile stretched across your face. Your eyes softened at the sight of loving couples and you ignored the pulling in your chest, ignored the yearning for what they had sitting deep within you.
“I really like it here,” you said and Taehyung stuck out his chest a little. A smirk was painted on his lips and pride was glimmering in his eyes. You chuckled a little and let yourself sink into the chair before your gaze travelled through the room once more.
The restaurant seemed to be frequented by a lot of couples, and you understood why. This place reminded you of the restaurants Jungkook would take you to from time and time again to show you how much he appreciated you, one of those restaurants he had taken you to when he had confessed to you and told you he loved you for the first time.
“This is totally a place for him.”
You said it without meaning to, said it without thinking, and when your eyes locked with Taehyung’s, you both shared a knowing gaze. Panic wanted to flush through your chest—because was Taehyung going to circle back to your previous words?—but then, he smiled at you and nodded.
“Yeah, totally is. It’s his favourite restaurant actually,” Taehyung said and you weren’t surprised. “He dragged all of us out here on opening day.”
“Opening day?”
“Yeah, can you imagine this place on opening day? This place had been hyped up months before its opening. So, it was fucking insane when we got here. He almost got into two fistfights that day,” Taehyung laughed and sighed at the memory.
“The hostess couldn't find his reservation and he insisted that he had made one like months ago. Yeri literally had to talk him down. And when we finally got to our table, he almost fought Yoongs because he said he didn’t like it here,” Taehyung told you and shook his head with a grin plastered on his lips. “Can you believe?”
“Honestly?” You raised your brows and you didn’t answer your question because Taehyung and you exploded into more laughter. “Shit, he hasn’t changed at all, has he?” 
“He is dumber now,” Taehyung smiled and scrunched up his nose. “Definitely still an idiot.”
You nodded and this time when you both fell silent, there was no guilt building up inside of you, no coming back to the surface. 
“How is he?” you asked and Taehyung puckered his forehead. He tapped the table with his one hand while he ran his other one through his fluffy locks.
“He’s,” Taehyung hesitated and your heart stopped in your chest, but then you saw the smile pulling on the corners of his lips, “good.” Taehyung paused a moment before nodding. “He’s good. Recently finished up his studies and started his first job. He’s enjoying it.”
You smiled.
“That’s great. I’m happy for him.”
You meant it, meant it because he had deserved so much more, deserved better. When you had last seen him, he and you had been wrecks, crying and sobbing and angry messes, and it was great to hear that he wasn’t anymore, great to hear that he was doing better now. 
“Is he, you know, uh seeing-” you trailed off as the rest of the question got stuck between your teeth like chewing gum, but Taehyung knew what you wanted to ask. He gave you a look, a look you weren’t sure how to interpret. There seemed to be pity and almost sorry in his eyes.
“Yeah, he is.”
You expected that answer, expected it because someone as amazing and great and funny as he was more than desirable but it still hurt to hear. You couldn’t stop your chest from tightening and your heart from sinking a little deeper inside you, shrinking in itself. You wanted to tell yourself to stop, wanted to tell your heart to not be like that because you had no right to feel like that, had no right when you had been the one leaving him. 
He had every right to move on, had every right to forget about you and be happy with someone else. But your heart simply couldn’t help itself from clenching in your chest like you were the one that had been left behind and not him.
“Wait, where are you?”
Taehyung and you snapped your head around when the girl next to you suddenly spoke up, thinking both that she was talking to you. Neither of you had taken notice of her before or looked at her when the hostess had led you two to your table. Until now, she had been typing away on her phone, waiting in silence, but right now, she had her phone pressed against her ear, definitely talking a little too loudly.
“What do you mean you can’t find parking? There’s a huge parking lot right next to the restaurant.”
Taehyung and you locked eyes when it clicked with both of you that she was not talking to you two. You shared knowing looks, remembering the same thing.
“He never found parking either,” Taehyung mumbled and both of you leaned closer to one another, not wanting for the girl to hear that you had eavesdropped on her conversation. Smiles played on your lips and you snickered. 
You recalled the many times you had sat in his car and cursed at him for running another red light because you were late, again, because of him, recalled the many times you would sit in a restaurant on your own or in the mall, waiting for him with your phone pressed to your ear as he assured you over and over again that he had planned in time for traffic, but that it was just worse than ever before.
“And he always had his excuses,” you snorted and shook your head. “‘There was a fire, so I had to turn around and take this huge detour.’ I think there was a fire somewhere every other week.”
Taehyung laughed and grinned at you. “Oh, but I think ‘Someone dropped a bunch of mirrors on the road and when I tried to turn around, I couldn’t because there were a bunch of cars, so I had to wait until they cleaned up the road.’ is still my favourite.”
“Ugh, he’s such a drama queen, I swear,” you groaned and leaned back into your chair. 
“I have no idea how you dated him for most of high school. Like he’s so exhausting sometimes,” Taehyung mumbled and shook his head.
“Oh, you spent just as much time as I did with him,” you said with a roll of your eyes and Taehyung wiggled his finger at you.
“I didn’t date him though. There’s a difference,” he argued and you dismissed his words with a quick shake of your head before crossing your arms in front of your chest at a certain memory.
“Does he still insist on having his cucumbers diced and not sliced because sliced cucumbers don’t taste as good?” 
“Please, don’t remind me. Every time I think about that I want to stop being friends-”
“Wait, where are- oh, I can see you already,” the girl next to you said into her phone and Taehyung and you froze at her interruption. Both of you looked at each other and before either of you could get back to your conversation, you were interrupted once more.
“I’m so sorry, but I swear the traffic was just out of this world today.”
Your eyes grew wide at his voice and your heart plummeted into your stomach when you heard his voice. You recognised it immediately, would have recognised it even if you had been deaf. You could never not recognise it, could never forget his voice. Your heart thumped in your chest, thumped painfully, as you turned your head and your eyes landed on him and his eyes landed on you.
His lips parted the slightest bit as he looked at you, frozen, and he gripped the back of the chair as his brows furrowed together at your sight.
“Y/N?”
Your name slipped off his tongue and confusion etched onto his face. Hearing him say your name sent your heart into a frenzy, had the panic bulldoze you away and your brain short circuit. The world went silent, the conversations all around you faded away and left you in silence with him. Time seemed to stand still as he and you looked at each other, desperately trying to process what was happening right now.
“Jungkook.”
His name felt dry and heavy on your tongue, felt like cement, felt like something you had been wanting to say forever now, but had avoided saying because you knew you had lost the right to say it and therefore had never said it again, until now. Until now when he was standing wide-eyed in front of you.
“Wait, what’s happening right now?” 
The question barely registered with you as you continued to stare at Jungkook, continued to stare at the boy that had once meant the world to you, continued to stare at the boy that you once had the right to calling him your boyfriend, continued to stare at the boy that still had your heart in such a tight grip that he managed to send it into a frenzy and have panic pumping through your veins merely with his sight.
Jungkook had changed. Now, he was taller and stood out in this crowded restaurant, towered over every other guest. Jungkook demanded attention from everyone, from you, and you were willing to give it to him because how could you not?
His hair had grown out, was longer now than you had ever seen it before and you wanted to comment on his tattoos when you saw them, juxtaposing his golden and warm skin. From the day you had met Jungkook, he had been talking about all of the tattoos he had wanted to get once he was old enough, and you almost couldn’t believe that he had actually finally gotten some. You wondered if he had to go behind the back of his parents or if they gave him their approval since he was an adult now.
“Uhm, babe?”
It was the word ‘babe’ that had you snapping out of it, that had the world start turning again and the time unfreezing, conversations returning to their original volume. It was the word ‘babe’ that had your eyes tearing away from Jungkook and to the girl sitting next to you instead. Her brows were raised and her gaze was drilling into Jungkook’s as he slowly pulled himself together too.
For the first time, you actually looked at the girl, actually gave her some of your attention. Until now, she had just been the girl sitting at the table next to you, been the girl typing away on her phone, been the girl having a conversation a little too loudly, but now, she was the girl who had waited for Jungkook, was the girl who had called Jungkook ‘babe’.
Now, she was the girl who was seemingly Jungkook’s girlfriend.
Jungkook sank down in his chair, but the confusion never left his face. His eyes stayed on you before his gaze wandered to his left, meeting Taehyung’s. When he locked eyes with him, Jungkook’s whole face dropped once more, eyes growing bigger and wider than they were before.
“Taehyung?” Jungkook almost yelled and drew the attention of some people around you, but none of you could muster up the energy to give them an apologetic smile. 
“Hi, Kook,” Taehyung managed to cough out and filled the awkwardness and silence with it. Jungkook crashed against the back of his chair with a thud as he gazed into nothing, brain desperately trying to process this.
Taehyung and you exchanged glances, both of you not knowing what to do or to say. This wasn’t what either of you had prepared for. Both of you had only signed up to have a nice dinner and catch up while tiptoeing around the topic of Jungkook and you. You knew you were going to see him again because he was still friends with Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi and so were you, but you just hadn’t thought that you were going to see him today.
“Okay, uhm, babe, could you please explain to me what’s going on right now?” 
For the first time since he had arrived, Jungkook looked at the girl who was most definitely his girlfriend. His eyes were still wide when they met hers and there was a strained smile on her lips as she drilled her gaze into him, demanding some sort of answer from him, but he couldn’t deliver. He opened his mouth, but his throat felt scratchy and dry and so, he could only stare into nothing again.
“I- I need some water,” Jungkook managed to blurt out, reaching across the table to grab her glass of water and gulping it down like he hadn’t drunk something in years. He devoured it in seconds and stared at it with big eyes, mentally cursing at it for not holding more water for him to gulp down. 
Jungkook put down the glass, but he didn’t let go of it and instead held it, tightening his grip around it until his knuckles turned white.
“Okay, uh,” Jungkook started and massaged his temple as he screwed his eyes shut, fighting off the headache that made him think his skull was going to split open. 
“Uh, so,” Jungkook sighed and puckered his forehead before peeling his eyes open and gesturing towards Taehyung. “This is, uh, Taehyung. I- I’ve told you about him, babe, right?”
“Yeah, oh,” the girl next to you perked up and turned her gaze to Taehyung, offering him a genuine albeit tense smile. You couldn’t blame her, this was still very awkward.
“Yes, Taehyung. Hi! I’ve heard so much about you. I’ve been dying to meet you.” Taehyung forced a smile on his lips and it looked genuine, but having known him for so long, you could spot the difference right away. 
“I’m Heejin.”
Heejin.
A pretty name for an even prettier girl. It suited her, suited her to have such a beautiful sounding name. Of course, she did and you almost scoffed, scoffed because your name paled in comparison to hers. Hers had a pleasant ring to it, but yours just sounded off and wrong now. 
“Heejin, yeah, I’ve heard of you too.” Taehyung nodded and extended his hand. She took it and they both shook hands for a moment before she turned to you, her smile still tense, but the genuineness shimmered through.
“I’m sorry. I don’t think I know-” Heejin trailed off and looked over to Jungkook for help, but he had his eyes locked with yours. And with that simple look, you knew.
He hadn’t told Heejin about you.
And judging from the way he was slightly shaking his head, he wasn’t planning on doing so just now. Taehyung and you understood immediately, but it had another dose of panic rushing through both of you.
“I’m Y/N,” you offered and extended your hand to Heejin like Taehyung had because this was the polite thing to do, the right thing to do, and for once in your life, you had to do the right thing regarding Jungkook.
“Hi, Y/N. Heejin,” she smiled, taking your hand into her perfectly soft one, and you made sure to smile at her too as you shook her hand. You smiled at her as much as one could smile at your ex’s current girlfriend. “It’s nice to meet you.”
No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t nice to meet Heejin, wasn’t nice at all. You wanted to shout it into her face, tell her you already hated her for simply existing and taking your place in Jungkook’s life and heart, but you swallowed all of the bitter and petty words, swallowed your anger aimed at her that was truly only anger at yourself, and nodded.
“Yeah, really nice to meet you, Heejin,” you said and let go of her hand, eyes turning to Taehyung instinctively. He offered you a smile, a smile that had your heart calming down a little, but then your eyes wandered to Jungkook and it sped up again. He sat up straighter and cleared his throat.
“Heejin, here- she’s, uh-” Jungkook stammered and the rest of his sentence refused to come out, leaving him with his mouth open and staring back at you.
“I’m his girlfriend,” Heejin finished with a smile and Jungkook and you locked eyes. It almost looked like he wanted to correct her with the way he sat up, with the way his back straightened out, but he didn’t. He didn’t correct Heejin because there was nothing to correct. And you knew that.
“Yeah, exactly, right,” Jungkook confirmed with a quiet voice and a nod. You tore your gaze away and looked around, looked around the room and stared at anything as long as it meant that you didn’t have to look at him, see him sitting across the girl who was his girlfriend.
You couldn’t bear the sight, couldn’t bear it to see Jungkook here with his girlfriend. You weren’t prepared for this, but you didn’t think that anything could have prepared you for this, for this bitter reality anyway.
“And, so, how do you all-” Heejin didn’t finish her sentence and gestured between all three of you instead. You shared a glance with Taehyung, asking him to say something because you couldn’t right now, couldn’t bring yourself to explain how you all knew each other.
“Uh, well, we all went to high school together. We were all friends back then,” Taehyung said and shifted in his chair to cover up the pitchiness of his voice. Heejin nodded at his words and looked between you all three once more before gesturing at all three of you again.
“Oh, okay, but why was Kook so shocked-”
“Well, it’s been a while since Kook and Y/N have seen each other, right?” Taehyung smiled and you could see the trembling corners of his lips. You nodded in confirmation because Jungkook was still somewhat stuck processing all of this.
“How come?”
“Well, I, uh,” you rubbed the back of your neck, “I moved away for college.”
You did. It wasn’t a lie, but it was also not the whole truth either because you moved to America and not to some neighbouring city that was half an hour away. Jungkook raised his brows at you and pursed his lips together, but you refused to look back at him, focusing instead on keeping the smile on your face for Heejin.
“Yeah, it was surprising for Kook to see Y/N, huh?” Taehyung asked and put his hand on his shoulder, and Jungkook looked at him before humming in confirmation and forcing a smile onto his lips.
“Surprising, for sure. Shocking, too.”
You folded your arms in front of your stomach and bit on your lip, trying to ignore the thudding of your heart ringing in your ears.
“Oh, so, this is like you guys reconnecting again?” Heejin asked and you begged her to stop asking any more questions, to stop trying to understand this because, fuck, this was only going to end badly. The truth was ugly and terrible and you didn’t want to face it, didn’t want to look it into the eye, couldn’t face it and look at it, at least not yet.
As much as you wanted to open your mouth and swiftly change the topic, the words were stuck to your tongue like gum stuck to the sole of a shoe. It was helpless.
“Wait, but why wasn’t Kook invited-”
“Well, actually, this isn’t us reconnecting again,” Taehyung interrupted and you turned your head to him. He placed his hand on the table and beckoned for yours, and too confused to use your own brain, you just put your hands into Taehyung’s. Bad decision as it turns out.
“This is actually a date.”
You almost pulled away your hand, but Taehyung was quick to hold onto it and tighten his grasp. Your heart was now beating out of your chest and you were sure everybody could hear it, were sure it was louder than the whole room.
“Y/N and I are dating.”
This time, you didn’t try to pull away your hand. This time, you actually did the opposite and tightened it. In fact, you tightened it so much that your knuckles turned white and Taehyung had to hold his breath to stop the groan from slipping.
“Right, yeah, boy and girlfriend. Super duper in love,” you croaked out with a tight smile before lowering your gaze. What else could you say? 
Jungkook drilled his eyes into your face. You could feel the holes he was staring into you right now, but you refused to look at him, refused to spare him a glance and possibly see his reaction to the revelation that Taehyung and you were supposedly dating. 
Even if it was a lie, an obvious lie, a lie that only needed to be told because Jungkook hadn’t told Heejin about you yet, it still knocked the breath out of Jungkook and had him bending over, still had his face etching into something else, into something unreadable.
“Wait, oh my God,” Heejin squeaked and her hand found her mouth as it split apart into a grin, covering it as her eyes flickered between Taehyung and you. “This is a date? Then-” 
Heejin turned to Jungkook with the most excited smile on her lips before whipping her head back to Taehyung and you.
“This is totally a double date then!”
The shock didn’t wear off for another five seconds, but when it did, you offered Heejin the most convincing smile you could muster up. Taehyung put his hand on yours when you tightened it around his other one a little too much, but you didn’t let go.
There was no way out, no revealing this was all a lie anymore and he was to blame. He was the one that had started it and dragged you along.
“I guess,” you said through a tight smile.
The scruffing and scraping of Jungkook’s chair against the hardwood floor when he got up rang loud, painfully loud in your ears and you cringed. He held up the glass of water and only looked at Heejin, but somehow you knew his words were meant to shoot through your heart.
“I’m gonna get you some water, babe.”
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There was just something about the summer evening air that always managed to relax you, managed to calm you down and ground you again. 
The warm breeze blew through your hair and filled your lungs with much-needed oxygen, oxygen you had been craving for since you had first seen Jungkook again. He had taken your breath away, stolen it and left you dealing with the agony and pain with finding it again as you desperately tried not to suffocate.
The last hour had flown by you, had passed you in a blur. As much as you tried to, you couldn’t recall what you had talked about, couldn’t even recall what you had ordered and what your dish had tasted like. Everything was so hazy. The only thing you knew for sure was that it had taken Jungkook far too long to fill up a glass of water and that when he had finally returned, there was a glass of water in his one hand and a glass of whiskey in his other one.
At one point, you had gotten up with an excuse of needing to make a call and before anyone could protest, you had fled out of the restaurant. You did contemplate taking a cab and going home, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to unlock your phone—not to mention, leave without a word.
Going inside was just as difficult though, so you stayed outside, and simply let the view dawn on you. Because a restaurant like this, of course, had to be located on a small hill that overlooked the city, had to have the most gorgeous view.
Your hometown wasn’t magical, wasn’t pretty at all, but with the sun slowly dipping below the horizon, the warm sunshine turned the cracked streets into golden rivers and the lines and lines of cars waiting at the red lights into boats. The street lamps decorating the cracked streets resembled fireflies, buzzing and bright.
For a moment, you forgot, forgot about the world around you, forgot about the tension poisoning the air inside the restaurant and making every breath more and more unbearable and deadly, forgot about the web of lies you were slowly sinking into, forgot about the aching of your heart every time you looked at Jungkook.
For a moment, you forgot that Jungkook and you weren’t dating anymore.
“You’re dating Tae now?”
You jerked around at the question, eyes finding him instinctively. Your breath hitched in your throat and you opened your mouth to answer, but no sound would escape you.
Jungkook stood there, a few metres away from you, with his hands in his pockets and his head tilted to the side, and, God, was he just gorgeous, so breathtakingly gorgeous, beautiful, pretty.
Even though his tone was light and almost playful, his face was hard. Jungkook looked at you for another moment before his gaze wandered to the view in front of him. His eyes were cold, cold enough to turn the golden rivers into ice, cold enough to freeze the boats, cold enough to kill the fireflies.
“You know I’m not. He just panicked. Tae’s always been a shit liar,” you chuckled, trying to lighten the situation and cut down on some of the tension, unfreeze the world, but you fell short and failed miserably. Jungkook let a smile pull on the corners of his lips, but it was gone within a second.
You were frozen when he started closing the distance between you two. When he finally stopped next to you, there was a noticeable gap between you, a gap big enough to have your heart wrenching and twisting in your chest. 
Fuck, this was what Jungkook and you had become, huh? Two people that couldn’t even stand close enough to each other without that awkward and horrible gap between you.
There used to be a time when there was no gap, no space, used to be a time when you were always in each other’s arms, used to be a time when the air wasn’t cold and the world frozen. But there also used to be a time where you two could only smile and grin at the other, used to be a time where there were no hardened faces and cold gazes.
There used to be a time that was just Jungkook and you together.
“Yeah, that’s a fucking mess,” Jungkook laughed humorlessly and you didn’t join him, didn’t try to. “How are we gonna fix that?”
“I don’t think we need to,” you said with a frown and turned to him for a moment, but he didn’t reciprocate your gaze. You got the message and turned to face the city again, looking out like you hadn’t been doing that for the past minutes.
“I doubt we’re gonna see each other again, right? I mean-” you trailed off and shrugged, rocking on the balls of your feet as you struggled to finish your sentence.
“I mean, I would like to if that was okay and fine with you, if you’re ready for that, but I understand if you’re not.”
Jungkook turned to you, blinking at you for a second before ultimately turning away and looking out again.
“Yeah, no, you’re right,” he chuckled dryly and you thought you could even hear a scoff. “Are you going back? Leaving to continue your adventure? Is this just a pit stop before you’re off to continue your adventure?”
The words stung, cut into you and your heart clenched at them. A cold breeze blew through you, gutted you, and you were left shivering and with goosebumps covering your entire body. Your throat knotted into a mess, and you wanted to look at Jungkook, see his expression, but you trained your gaze on your frozen hometown, trained your gaze on it like it didn’t shatter your heart to see it like that.
Jungkook had every right, every right to be bitter and cold, but it didn’t mean it hurt you any less for him to treat you like that, treat you like you hadn’t been each other’s worlds at one point of your life.
“No.” You shook your head, desperately trying to rid your voice of its trembling. “I- I’m staying.”
Jungkook didn’t say anything, didn’t respond, didn’t even react in the slightest way. You thought maybe he hadn’t heard you, but when you dared to peek at him, you saw the way the lines of his face had deepened. He had heard you, loud and clear.
You both drowned in the silence, sank into it, deeper and deeper with each second, and you crossed your arms in front of your chest, tightening with each passing moment.
“Did you stay in touch with the others? Yoongs? Yeri?” 
You shifted on your feet and tucked a strand behind your ear. “No- I mean, we tried, but after like a year or two, we slowly lost contact with each other. We did check on each other every couple months and texted every now and then, but we- we did definitely drift apart.”
“I guess then they were meant to come too, right? Tonight?” 
“Yeah, they were, but they had to drop out last minute. We, uh, always said we were gonna have dinner once I returned,” you mumbled and Jungkook hummed at that, nodding a little. Both of you stayed silent for a while, and even though you wanted to say something, cut into the silence because it allowed you to think and right now, you didn’t want to think, you couldn’t come up with anything to say.
“How long have you been back?”
Your gaze wandered to your feet and you kicked the dirt a little, digging into it with the tip of your shoe.
“Uh, I got back a little over a week ago,” you whispered into the air and tightened your arms around your chest. Jungkook nodded, but he didn’t look at you.
“Why are you back?” Jungkook asked and when you struggled to answer his question, he scoffed. Your silence was telling, said more than you ever could. 
“You came back for a job, didn’t you?”
You didn’t reply, didn’t tell him you hadn’t come back just for a job, but because you had missed home, had missed your family, had missed Taehyung, Yerim, Yoongi and more importantly, had terribly missed him. You had missed everything and everyone here so much you couldn’t even put it into words, but you said none of that, didn’t correct Jungkook.
The wind blew through your hair and the once warm breeze that had filled your lungs with the oxygen you so desperately needed filled your lungs now with sharp and piercing icicles this time. You hugged yourself more, tighter. You tried to warm yourself up, but no amount of hugging yourself was enough to melt the ice in your lungs.
“What are you, uh, doing out here?” you asked and turned a little to Jungkook, eyeing him with a raised brow, but he didn’t reciprocate your gaze this time either.
“Heejin’s cold,” Jungkook answered after a beat of silence, brows knitting together as he kept his focus in front of him. “I’ve got a jacket in my car.”
You hummed and a small smile made its way onto your lips. You totally got it. You were cold too, freezing, in fact, but there was no jacket for you, no Jungkook running out for you to get it and warm you up.
“You still got a whole closet in the back of your car, don’t you?” you asked with a slight smile, trying to lighten the mood, but when you turned to Jungkook, your smile fell off.
Instead of flushing red in embarrassment or laughing because of how well you still knew him after all these years, Jungkook stared into your eyes, harsh lines etched onto his face. It wasn’t the kind of stare that had your heart thumping and your throat constricting and kaleidoscopes of butterflies in your stomach flying. No, it was a piercing kind of stare, the kind that had your breath hitching in your throat in the worst way possible and your heart sinking into your stomach.
“Don’t.”
The message was loud and clear, delivered with one simple word, but it was enough, enough for it to click in your mind. You didn’t try to catch your heart as it sank deeper and deeper inside you, as it sank down to the ground and came closer and closer to shattering into tiny little pieces that would take you ages to glue together again.
You opened your mouth to say something, but your tongue was a mess in it and the words sat deep in your stomach. It took you two more tries, two more times of you opening and closing your mouth for you to finally unknot your tongue and drag the words to the surface.
“You haven’t forgiven me, have you?”
You worded it like a question, but you knew the answer. It was written all across Jungkook’s face, surrounding him the moment you and he had locked eyes, spilling from his mouth every time he opened it.
Jungkook’s lips tightened into a hard line and his jaw locked up as he eyed you before ripping his gaze away to stare off into the sky and scoff quietly into the air. His hands balled up into fists at his side and his Adam’s apple bopped up and down as he desperately tried to keep his composure. 
You had seen all of this before, had watched him try and fail not to punch the air and let his anger out. Jungkook had done the exact same thing, had made the same face after you had told him you were going to America.
You expected him to blow up in your face, to explode, to burst at all of his seams and rip apart and scream, yell, curse at you because that was what he had done, what he had done the last time, but to your surprise, Jungkook didn’t, didn’t do any of the things you had expected him to.
“Fours years,” Jungkook scoffed, holding up four fingers like you didn’t know just how much four was. “We dated for almost four fucking years.”
You bit on your tongue, heart tumbling and rumbling in your chest like it was about to burst out and fall to her knees and beg for Jungkook’s forgiveness.
“And you left,” Jungkook continued, anger dripping from his words, but his voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “Just like that.” 
He snapped his finger and you cringed at the sound. It rang in your ears, pierced through your eardrums.
“Remember our promise?” Jungkook asked you and you could hear his voice wavering and shaking. “Remember our promise of forever?”
You wanted to tell him that you did, that, of course, you fucking remembered your promise of forever. It had haunted you, kept you awake every night, eaten you up and chewed you out every morning and kicked you to the floor every time it slipped your mind the tiniest bit.
“You know how people say that you always learn something from a relationship?” Jungkook asked you and you wanted to beg him not to, not to continue. You couldn’t handle this, couldn’t handle this much longer and you weren’t sure just how long you could keep it together.
“The only thing you taught me was that people are selfish.”
You were sure that you were drawing blood from your tongue now, were sure that your heart was on her knees now and begging, begging for Jungkook to just please forgive her. You thought that was it, thought he was going to scoff at you and walk away, but Jungkook wasn’t quite done.
“I really do hope that you’re right and we won’t see each other again after this.”
If you thought that Jungkook’s eyes were cold before, they were icy and freezing now. They were icy and freezing enough to bring in the new ice age, icy and freezing enough to stop time. Your lungs were shredded by the icicles, ripped apart by them like they were paper, and your heart shattered on the frozen ground, turning into dust before ultimately being dragged away by the wind and into Jungkook’s hands. And he crushed it, crushed the tiny pieces of your heart into powder.
There was no repairing anymore, no glueing the pieces together because there was nothing to repair or glue together or fix in any way or form.
Jungkook didn’t say another word, didn’t spare you a single glance when he turned on his heel and walked away, walked away with your pulverised heart on the ground and your world cold and frozen. The golden rivers didn’t burst through the ice, the boats didn’t unfreeze and start sailing again, the fireflies didn’t come back to life.
It stayed, lingered.
Your world took its time to come back, and you watched it, watched it slowly resemble what it once had been before Jungkook. When you looked at it, however, it wasn’t quite the same. The golden rivers weren’t rivers, but only weak streams, and the boats had shrunk into simple rafts. The fireflies were only humming now, barely illuminating their surroundings.
And this time, when you looked down, you didn’t forget, didn’t forget about the world around you, didn’t forget about the aching of your heart every time you looked at Jungkook.
This time, you didn’t forget that Jungkook and you weren’t dating anymore.
This time, you almost suffocated.
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By the time you had reached your table, you slumped into your chair, falling into it with wobbly knees, defeated and panting. Taehyung and Heejin were too wrapped up in a conversation to really take notice and Jungkook, well, Jungkook did the thing he had grown to excel this evening, staring into nothing.
There was a jacket around Heejin’s shoulders, hugging her form and it took you one single glance to know. One glance was enough to prompt you to reach for your glass of wine and down it. The wine burned your tongue and your throat on its way down, and it was what you needed.
Because the jacket wasn’t just any jacket. It was the jacket you had bought for Jungkook with the money you had gotten for your 17th birthday, was the jacket he had called his favourite, was the jacket you had worn as much as he had, was the jacket both of you had used as a blanket when you had held a film marathon the day before school started again, was the jacket you had worn when you had told him you were going and he had demanded back from you.
And now, Heejin was wearing that jacket.
“You okay, sweetie?” 
You looked up and stared straight into Taehyung’s face. His brows were raised and you could feel Heejin’s eyes on you too. And you almost frowned at him and questioned the ‘sweetie’, but then it hit you again. You were dating Taehyung.
“Yeah, uh, I just had a shitty phone call,” you dismissed quickly with a wave of your hand, realising that you definitely shouldn’t have one-shotted your wine like that. “It’s fine. I’m just a little tired from talking.”
Heejin nodded at your words and seemed happy with the answer, but Taehyung’s eyes stayed on you for a few more seconds. He could read between the lines, could piece together what had happened outside.
“What were you talking about?” you asked, gaze finding Heejin because looking at her was easier than looking at Taehyung. 
“Oh,” Heejin placed her hands on your armrest and a frown settled on her face, “we were talking about films. Did you know that Taehyung has never watched ‘Titanic’ before?”
Your eyes wandered to Taehyung who had put on a smile and was shaking his head at Heejin’s words, but you could see that he wanted to question you, ask you what had happened outside.
“You haven’t?” you asked, trying to change the subject from you to him.
“The only film I haven’t watched yet.”
“Can you believe?” Heejin said it like it was a big deal and to her, it seemed to be. Her mouth was slightly agape and her eyes were blown out as she looked at you, obviously expecting for you to react the same way, thinking you were going to be as appalled as she was by the fact that Taehyung had yet to watch ‘Titanic’.
Maybe if you were in a better mood or maybe if Jungkook wasn’t sitting literally an arm’s reach from you or maybe if Heejin wasn’t his current girlfriend right now, you would play along, act appalled and criticise Taehyung for never having watched ‘Titanic’, call him a film illiterate even though you haven’t watched it yourself yet.
“I mean, I’ve also never-”
“Do not finish that sentence, Y/N,” Heejin cut in and while everything was in good fun, you couldn’t help but feel miffed and weirded out by her words. You two didn’t know each other and acting like you did was, well, weird to say the least.
But Heejin didn’t pick up on your tightening smile and slight raise of your brows, too busy acting appalled to notice any of that.
“Okay, that’s it. It’s decided.” Heejin clapped into her hands and looked at Jungkook to grab his attention. “I’m hosting a film night at my place next week. I can’t walk this Earth knowing that you two have never seen the masterpiece that is ‘Titanic’. It’s a must, a cult classic.”
Your eyes locked with Taehyung’s first and he had the same panicked look on his face before he turned to Jungkook, but you avoided his general direction, not wanting to look at him.
“Wait, no, babe, you can’t just host a film night,” Jungkook jumped to argue with Heejin and you swallowed.
“I really do hope you’re right and we won’t see each other again after this.”
“Why not?” Heejin asked with a tilt of her head and blinked at Jungkook as he stammered for a reason.
“Because- you just can’t. That’s not how this works.” A deep line formed between Jungkook’s brows and Heejin as she frowned at his unconvincing argument.
“What do you mean it’s not how this works? If you wanna host a film night, you ask people if they are down for it and host it. I just did that.”
Taehyung and you looked at each other, both deciding to stay silent. Not only was this the most that Jungkook had contributed to this ‘double date’ so far (without counting your conversation you had had with him outside, of course), but it didn’t seem like either of your places to chime in.
“No, babe, you announced you were going to have a film night and essentially demanded them to be there,” Jungkook said and Taehyung and you shared another glance. Heejin furrowed her brows and a pout formed on her lips. She wasn’t taking this nearly as serious as Jungkook was, but it seemed to dawn on her that he was.
“I don’t see where the problem is, babe. I thought you guys were all friends. Isn’t a film night a great way to reconnect then?”
Jungkook opened his mouth to argue against her, but he couldn’t come up with something to say. He wanted to tell Heejin that reconnecting with you was at the bottom of his list of things he wanted to do right now, wanted to tell her that you weren’t just an old friend of his, but his first love, the girl who had meant the world to him for years, the girl who had taken his heart and kept it before deciding it and he simply weren’t enough and shattering his heart, breaking it into dust and leaving him having to pick up the pieces again. 
You were the girl who had haunted him every hour of the day ever since you had left.
“Isn’t it great that we found a couple that’s cool and our age? We can do so much stuff together. Also, Taehyung did say you were all friends once, right? And Taehyung here is still your friend. I really don’t see the problem here. Am I missing something?”
And again, Jungkook was left processing Heejin’s words, prompting Taehyung to jump in.
“Yeah, no, we were friends and, yeah, Kook and I still are friends.” A nervous smile played on his lips as Taehyung shot you a glance, a glance you could barely meet. There was a moment where Heejin was just waiting for any of you to say something, a moment where neither Jungkook nor you met his gaze. It was at that moment that Taehyung made the decision.
“Next week you said?”
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By the time you finally step out of the restaurant, the sun had made its way back home and fallen asleep, leaving the golden stream and rafts and fireflies to the moon. 
“Y/N!” You turned around at the call of your name and watched Heejin jogging towards you, hands reaching for your wrists. “Next week, right? Promise me. Next week.”
She smiled right into your face, smiled one of those genuine and big and beautiful smiles, one of those smiles that could charm anybody, and that included you.
“Yeah, next week,” you said and nodded. Heejin’s hands squeezed your wrists and her lips split apart into a grin. With a quick turn of her heel, she was facing Jungkook, who had come to a stop behind her with Taehyung to his left.
“Oh, it’s gonna be great,” she cheered and took hold of Jungkook’s hands now, squeezing as she jumped around him. The displeased look, which had etched onto his face when Heejin had declared this to be a double date and deepened when Taehyung agreed to the film night, slipped away. 
Jungkook couldn’t resist her, couldn’t resist Heejin and for the first time in four years, you saw a smile spread across his lips.
Fuck.
“This was great,” Taehyung cut in before Jungkook could lean in for a quick kiss because he always did, always leaned in for a quick kiss whenever his heart pounded a little too much in his chest, and it definitely did, definitely did pound a little too much just now.
Jungkook and Heejin looked at Taehyung and once again, you froze up when he took your hand into his. The fact that you two were dating slipped your mind again and again throughout the night.
“Yeah, definitely was,” Heejin agreed and interlaced her fingers with Jungkook’s, but unlike with Taehyung and you, it was normal for them to hold hands, second nature. “Right?”
She nudged Jungkook with her elbow and he looked at Heejin, looked at her like he wanted to disagree. Maybe it was because it was rude to disagree and say that one hated the night or maybe it was because Jungkook’s heart melted in his chest seeing Heejin looking at him like that, but a second smile found its way onto Jungkook’s lips.
“Sure was.”
Jungkook said it looking at Heejin, gazing into her sparkling eyes, and you wanted to look away, but you couldn’t, couldn’t because they were like a car accident, but the most beautiful and at the same time, ugliest and most painful car accident this world had ever seen. 
Heejin and Jungkook were in love, in love with each other.
“Right, definitely,” Taehyung cut in, breaking up Heejin and Jungkook as he drew everybody’s attention to him. You squeezed his hand a little tighter.
“We’ll text, yeah?” Taehyung continued and Heejin nodded at his words, beaming as she let go of Jungkook’s hand. You wanted to grab her by her shoulders and tell her not to, not to ever let Jungkook go, but then you realised that she wasn’t actually letting go of him, wasn’t letting go of him the way you had let go of him.
Heejin stretched out her arms and wrapped Taehyung into a hug, a hug he reciprocated without letting go of your hand, which led to you kind of hugging Heejin too. 
“Goodbye, Tae. It was so nice to have met you,” she said into his ear before turning to you and wrapping you into her arms. “So, so nice to have met you, too, Y/N.”
You also didn’t let go of Taehyung’s hand and neither did he when Jungkook leaned in for the hug. 
“Yeah, nice to have met you, too,” you breathed out, quiet, but it was enough for Heejin to pat you on your back and let go.
“We’ll text,” Heejin said as she stepped back to make space for Jungkook to hug you. He and you locked eyes, both knowing exactly what Heejin was expecting of you two. 
There was this terrible moment of hesitance, and you were ready to throw up a hand and give Jungkook a simple wave, but he leaned forward and stretched out one arm. You leaned forward too with your feet planted metres away from him, which led to a rather awkward half-hug thing, but it was definitely more than both of you could offer, more than anyone could really ask for.
Jungkook patted your back two times, and you frowned because who patted someone’s back twice and only twice? The ‘hug’ didn’t last longer than a second before both of you jumped away from each other.
“That was so awkward,” Heejin chortled and threw her head back, loud and beautiful laughter resounding in the air. Jungkook’s cheeks did what they should have done when you had commented on how he had a whole closet in the back of his car: flush.
“Whatever. We’re old friends, remember?” Jungkook argued and it was definitely the sight of Heejin laughing that had him do what he, again, should have done when you had commented on how he had a whole closet in the back of his car: laugh.
“Anyway, we’ll see each other,” Jungkook mumbled into your general direction before taking Heejin’s hand into his and leading her away from you two, throwing up his hand for a wave. Heejin beamed at Taehyung and you and you mustered up the best and most convincing smile for the last time this night.
“Bye. We’ll be in touch.”
“Bye.”
You didn’t say ‘bye’, too focused on the way Jungkook fixed the jacket that was slipping off Heejin’s shoulders, and when it almost landed in the dirt, your heart dropped. You wanted to catch it, take it and hold it close to your heart because that was your jacket. Jungkook caught it though just in time and you let out a breath.
“Really squeezing my hand here, huh?” Taehyung pressed through his smile and you looked down at your hands, realising only now that your knuckles had turned white. Immediately, you let go.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, face flushing hot. Taehyung simply dismissed it with a smile, but you could see him lightly knead his hand, stretching it to get the blood circulating again.
“It’s fine.” Taehyung tilted his head at you. “I guess you don’t have a car yet, right?” You were about to respond, but he didn’t give you enough time. “I can give you a ride.”
“Yeah, that would be great.” You nodded and Taehyung and you made your way to the parking lot. He held the car door open for you and when you were both strapped into your seats, you turned to him. “You didn’t have anything to drink, right?”
“Nope, been sipping on my water the whole night,” he chuckled as he put the keys into the ignition, slowly pulling out of the parking lot. You nodded and sank a little into the seat. The tension that had been sitting in your shoulders and in every single one of your joints slowly escaped you and you let out a sigh.
You typed your address into Taehyung’s phone, Google Maps doing the rest, and for a few minutes, both of you simply drove in silence, enjoyed it. The night had been hard on both of you, and you two were definitely ready to jump into your beds and go to sleep. The silence was exactly what you needed right now, at least you thought that was what you both needed.
“What happened outside?”
You should have expected him to ask because, of course, he would, but it still had you turning your head to him and eyes growing wide. Taehyung met your gaze and you put your hands together in your lap, thumbs rubbing against one another.
“Well,” your feet pressed into the ground, “he, uh, asked me if I was gonna stay here and if we all kept in touch. And,” your voice quivered only the tiniest bit, but Taehyung noticed, “how long I’ve been back and everything.”
You shrugged. “The basic things, you know. Nothing special.”
Taehyung hummed and his brows furrowed together with his lips pulled into a thin line. He was clearly not believing you completely, not buying what you were selling him. You pressed harder against the ground, begging for it to give in and let you sink into a hole.
“Anything else?”
Lying was stupid, lying to Taehyung was even stupider, but you seemed to like to be stupid today.
“Nope.” You said the last syllable with a pop and it had Taehyung’s frown deepening and his gaze digging into you when you two stopped at a red light. 
“Y/N.” A sigh followed and you lowered your gaze before shaking your head as your teeth sank into your tongue.
“Fine,” you breathed out and slammed back, head hitting your seat definitely too hard. “We- well, he-”
Taehyung turned to you, but you stared out the window, realising that you were almost at home now. His eyes dug into your face and you sighed, thinking of a way to word all of this.
“We- technically, we didn’t talk much at all. At least I didn’t,” you started again and took your time to get it all together. “But- he did say that he,” a heavy sigh slipped past your lips and you gnawed on your tongue before deciding to just say it, “learned from our relationship that people are selfish and that he hoped he would never have to see me again after this.”
Taehyung was stunned, stunned silent and you wished he would say something, react in some way. The tension came rising back, stretching every one of your joints to the point it hurt.
“You’re fucking kidding me,” Taehyung muttered underneath his breath and when you turned to him, there was anger etched onto every line of his face. It was burning in his eyes and it had you quickly jump to Jungkook’s defense.
“No- it’s fine. I get-”
“No, Y/N, it’s not fucking fine,” Taehyung interrupted and to your dismay, you had reached your front door. He parked rather smoothly and when you came to a stop, Taehyung turned to you.
“Don’t say it’s fine because we both know it’s not,” Taehyung said and you didn’t meet his eyes. “It’s rude, unnecessarily rude. I get it. He’s pissed and you hurt him and whatever, but it’s been four fucking years. And he’s literally the one that broke up with you-”
“Well, I was leaving for America-”
“But you wanted to try, right? You didn’t want to break up, right?” Taehyung asked and you didn’t say anything. “See! You wanted to try, but he refused. Don’t even get me started on the fact that he didn’t say goodbye to you at all. You go to America and he doesn’t even bother to show up at the airport after dating you for almost four years, not to mention text you or call you on the day to wish you well? I haven’t forgotten that bullshit yet.”
You pressed your lips into a thin line and lowered your gaze.
Taehyung sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I still love him. He’s my friend after all, and it’s not like I don’t get it why he’s mad. I do, in a way, and not because I ‘hate’,” Taehyung made air quotes around the word hate, “you for going or anything, but because it was surprising. But still saying shit like that is not okay.”
“It’s fine,” you tried again, but your words seem to have the fire in Taehyung growing because he shook his head vigorously.
“Stop saying that! It’s not.” Taehyung paused, taking a moment to breathe. “It’s definitely not. He’s so-” Taehyung threw up his hands and pressed his lips into a hard line, words failing him as his anger consumed him more and more. 
“We all thought he was over it.”
“He isn’t,” you mumbled and Taehyung ‘duh’s your answer, realising himself that Jungkook was far, very far from getting over you leaving, not to mention forgive you in any shape or form.
Both of you sat in silence for a while and your fingers itched for the door handle. You hated this, hated this because Taehyung didn’t get that you were fine, didn’t get that you were fine with the way Jungkook treated you because you had fucked up and now, these were the consequences.
“You don’t have to do this.”
You kept staring out of the window, kept staring like you couldn’t feel Taehyung’s eyes dig into your profile and demand for you to look at him, kept staring like you couldn’t hear him.
“There’s no one forcing you to go next week. You could just simply-”
“I know,” you said and sighed. You leaned forward and covered your eyes, pressing on them slightly as you thought of everything that had happened today, thought of every little interaction you had shared with Jungkook.
“I know,” you muttered before looking up and turning your gaze to Taehyung, cheek falling into your open palm. “I know.”
Taehyung and you looked at each other for a few seconds.
“You’re still gonna go, huh?”
You sat up straight and unbuckled your seatbelt, arms stretching out to pull Taehyung into a hug. He reciprocated it and you tightened your arms around him a little more than you usually would, chin resting on his shoulder.
“You’re still great, Tae.”
Taehyung chuckled and patted your back, sinking deeper into the hug. You were the one to pull away, but you rested your hands on his shoulder and looked him dead in the eye.
“No, really,” you smiled and squeezed his shoulders. “You’re really great, Taehyung.”
Slightly embarrassed by your words, Taehyung looked down at his hands.
“You’re stupid, Y/N.”
You laughed.
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When you came out of the shower that night and checked your phone, a frown etched onto your face.
[You’ve been added to the “DD” group chat]
[Unknown Number - 11:24 PM] : hi! it’s heejin here and I just wanted to ask if next saturday works for everyone!!
[Unknown Number sent in location]
[Unknown Number - 11:24 PM] : my address!
[tae - 11:27 PM] : uh DD?
[Unknown Number - 11:27 PM] : double date. couldnt think of anything else realy
[tae - 11:27 PM] : okay lol but yeah should work
[Unknown Number - 11:32 PM] : yeah, think I can make it too
[Unknown Number - 11:32 PM] : okay, great! only gotta wait for y/n’s answer now
[tae - 11:32 PM] : wouldnt expect an answer any time soon lmao shes too stupid to text
[You - 11:48 PM] : you take a shower once and immediately people talk shit about you :)) 
[You - 11:48 PM] : but should work for me too
[tae - 11:48 PM] : love you too sweetie! and goodnight!!
[You - 11:48 PM] : :))))
When you went to save Heejin’s number, you got distracted by her profile picture. She was smiling right into the camera, smiling the same smile she had smiled at you. It was almost scary how genuine her smile looked even through a simple picture. No one smiled like Heejin. 
Her number was saved rather quickly, but when you went and clicked on Jungkook’s number, you were, once again, distracted by his profile picture. You should have expected it for Jungkook to have Heejin and him together as his profile picture, but it still shocked and surprised you, had your lips pressing into a hard line.
Jungkook had his arm around Heejin and she was looking at him, mid-laugh There was a proud smirk on his lips, that proud smirk he got whenever he managed to make someone laugh. Both looked at each other and the sun brought out both of their eyes, brought out the love in them. You could practically see it glimmering in their pupils.
Your heart tumbled in your chest, tumbled in the most painful way possible, but you ignored it, ignored it because what else were you going to do? Complain? You had no right to.
And as you let your phone slip into your pocket, a certain thought planted itself into your mind, robbing you of the peace and quiet you thought you would get once you were at home. The roots dug deeper and deeper into you until it was ingrained in you, swimming through your blood and consuming you whole, chewing you up over and over again simply to spit you out.
You would have been Heejin if you hadn’t left.
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“What is she like?”
There was a beat of silence for a moment and you hugged your knees you had pulled close to your body self a little tighter at the question.
Your phone was laying on your desk, speakers on.
“Well,” Taehyung sighed, “she’s- she’s nice, I guess.”
Taehyung said it like a question, clearly choosing his words carefully as he tried not to offend you in any way, and you almost smiled at that. 
“Yeah, she’s nice,” you agreed.
“That’s great,” Yerim started, uncertainty swinging in her words. “Right? That’s great that she’s nice, right?”
No one answered and after a while, you pressed your lips into a thin line and nodded.
“Yeah, it’s great,” you said and you could hear Yerim exhale in relief. You chewed on your lip, and tried not to think about how it was not great and that you hated that Heejin was nice because it made hating her so much more difficult.
“I’m happy for him.”
This time when you said it, you weren’t sure if you really meant it, weren’t sure if you could say it from the bottom of your heart. Jungkook still, of course, deserved so much more, deserved better, but the thought that he was doing so much better with Heejin left a bad and bitter taste on your tongue. You didn’t want to think or feel like that, but your heart was selfish, just like he had said.
“That’s nice,” Yoongi mumbled and his voice was muffled, but the familiar snarky tone came through perfectly. “Nice of you to lie like that.”
You bit down on your lip and buried your face into your knees.
“Dude,” Taehyung said and used ‘dude’ like he always did whenever he was getting mad and refused to use one’s name. 
“What? We all know it’s a lie,” Yoongi said, matter of factly. “It’s not bad. It’s commendable that Y/N’s trying, but let’s not act dumb and oblivious to it.”
“Yoongi,” Yerim sighed from the other side of the line, groaning. “You can’t just say something like that.”
“We were all thinking it.”
You pressed your face further into your knees, squeezing your eyes shut as you hugged your legs closer to your chest.
“Dude,” Taehyung warned again, voice dropping significantly, and you could picture Yoongi rolling his eyes at him before sitting up to defend himself.
“All I’m trying to say is that it’s stupid to lie and pretend that it doesn’t suck that Kook is with Heejil or whatever her name-”
“Heejin,” Yerim threw in and there was a beat of silence before Yoongi continued again.
“Okay, fine, Heejin, but it doesn’t really matter,” Yoongi paused and the silence that settled was deafening and you begged him to continue. “What matters is the fact that Y/N shouldn’t need to pretend to be happy for him. They both hurt each other and acting like Y/N only hurt him is so fucking stupid. Kook’s really gotta learn how to be civil and not act like a complete ass-”
“Tae!” You cut in and looked at your phone like he could see you. “You told them? I thought we agreed on leaving that out.”
“Please, you seriously didn’t think I wouldn’t tell the others, did you?” Taehyung scoffed and you huffed, brows furrowing together as you fixed your phone with a glare like it was to blame for this.
“And I’m happy that he did tell us, Y/N,” Yoongi said and you groaned, burying your face once more into your knees now. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that. I get it that Kook’s mad because it was all very sudden and quick and you were his first love or whatever, but it’s not a reason to be an ass to you.”
You didn’t respond, and for a while, the silence lingered on. It was almost unbearable, but you couldn’t think of anything to say, knowing already you were going to be shut down anyway.
“You don’t have to do this,” Yoongi said and sounded exactly like Taehyung. You looked up and put your chin on top of your knee before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.
“Yeri?”
There was a shuffle and a moment later it was followed by a sigh. “No, I do agree with the others. Kook can be mad and everything—we all get it in a way—but it’s not an excuse to be an ass to you and say hurtful shit like that. You’re not selfish for following your dreams. Also, didn’t he technically break up with you? So, actually, I don’t get why he’s still mad at you.”
You stayed silent.
“Again, you-”
“I know, Yoongs,” you groaned. “I know that I don’t have to do this,” a heavy sigh slipped past your lips, “but it’s just this one time anyway and unlike what you guys might think, I’m not hurt by what he said.”
Neither Taehyung nor Yerim nor Yoongi said something for a while and just as the silence was about to become too unbearable and just as you were about to tell them you had to do something and therefore, hang up, Taehyung spoke up.
“You’re stupid, Y/N.”
You peeled your eyes open and lowered your gaze, a tight smile splitting apart on your lips.
“I know.”
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You couldn’t recall how this had happened, how a simple film night turned into a dinner party, but somehow you were all standing in the middle of Heejin’s kitchen, preparing dinner. Taehyung and Jungkook were manning the stove, cooking the meat and Heejin and you were cutting up vegetables for a salad.
“Careful!”
You froze at Heejin’s voice and looked up, eyes locking with hers. Jungkook and Taehyung stopped messing around and turned their focus to you two, brows raising at the sudden exclamation. When you looked back down where Heejin’s fingers had curled around your wrist, you realised that you were about to cut off your fingers. Immediately, you let go of the knife and forced a laugh to spill from your lips.
“Shit. Good catch.”
“You okay? Almost cut off your fingers there,” Heejin said with a small smile and you quickly nodded, ignoring the gazes that were digging into your back. 
“Yeah, uh, just spaced out a little,” you mumbled and Heejin laughed, returning to cutting up the rest of her carrots. 
You grabbed your glass of wine and when you took a sip from it, your eyes locked with Taehyung’s. There was a deep line etched between his brows and in an attempt to smooth it over, you smiled at him. It took him a second, but he smiled back at you and seeing his smile had your smile turn into a genuine one.
Your gaze wandered and locked with Jungkook’s. You looked at him without meaning to. Your gaze just automatically travelled to him. His face was stiff and hard. Harsh lines were carved into it and you thought he was going to say something, scoff at you, but then he turned around without a word.
Taehyung and you looked at each other once more and his jaw locked up, but you shook your head. When he sighed, you thanked him with a smile and turned away, putting your wine glass down to focus on your vegetables again.
“Oh.”
Heejin stopped and looked up, raising her brows at your sudden exclamation.
“What?” she asked with a tilt of her head and you pointed at the cucumber on her cutting board.
“I, uh, like them diced more,” you said and Heejin blinked at you, expecting you to be joking. “Yeah, I- I just think cucumbers taste better diced.”
You shrugged and Heejin’s light laugh filled the air before she nodded and started dicing the cucumber.
“Okay, sure thing. Diced cucumbers it is.”
You smiled at her. “Thanks.” 
Heejin waved it off. You stopped yourself from shaking your head at yourself because a week ago, Taehyung and you were rolling your eyes at Jungkook for preferring his cucumbers diced, but here you were, making sure his cucumbers were going to be cut the way he liked them.
“So, tell me,” Heejin started when you picked up the knife. She tucked her hair away and looked at you. “What was Kook like in high school?”
You stopped chopping your tomatoes and bit on your lip. You struggled to think of something to say and Heejin’s staring certainly didn’t make it any easier.
“He, uh, well, the same, I think,” you started and your words had Heejin chuckling. “I mean, I don’t think he really changed that much since.” You kept cutting up your tomatoes, eyes focused on the task in front of you. “At least, I doubt it. He didn’t change much during high school, so, I don’t think he did now.”
“Well, what was he like during high school?” Heejin asked again, not getting the answer she had been fishing for.
“Funny and kind,” you said without missing a beat and surprised yourself. You paused before shrugging and transferring your tomato wedges inside the big salad bowl. “He’s—not to gas him up—but he’s always been funny and kind, I guess. Like, he’s just always had a good heart.” You took the last tomato, starting to cut it up into wedges too. “He’s always just cared about others around him and tried to make others happy. It’s- it’s really nice and sweet.”
“That’s-”
“Like, one time he stayed after school with,” you quickly swallowed the ‘me’, “uh, one of our friends for hours because they had lost their keys. And they didn’t even ask him to stay. He just did it himself and helped them out because they were, like, freaking out and on the brink of tears. And they weren’t even friends at that point. They were just classmates, but he- that didn’t matter to him. He helped them nevertheless.”
You laughed at the memory a little, remembering clearly how panicked you had been when you had realised that you had lost your keys.
“But he also definitely has his dramatic tendencies, and he’s also very picky with his food. I’m sure you know by now- oh, and he’s constantly late. At this point, it’s just chronic. Don’t get me started on his shitty excuses.”
You put away the last tomato wedges and your grip around the knife loosened. With your eyes on your hands, you sighed and without noticing, a smile stretched across your lips.
“But nevertheless, he’s a really amazing and great person.”
Heejin had long stopped dicing the cucumber and simply stared at you. When you looked up to her, you realised that maybe you had said too much. Your heart dropped into your stomach at the realisation and you were about to dismiss your words when a smile grew on Heejin’s lips.
“That’s great to hear,” she said and you couldn’t figure out if she meant it or not. “Sounds like you two were close.”
“Well, no- He was known for being kind and funny at our school. Ask anybody, they’d say the same thing about him,” you laughed and you hoped you could hide the wavering of your voice. “And if anyone was close to him, then it was Taehyung.”
“What was I?”
Taehyung stood next to you and you were about to respond when he took one of the tomato wedges and plopped them into his mouth. He stopped chewing when he saw the diced cucumbers and he looked at you, but you avoided his gaze.
“Don’t eat all of them. It’s for the salad. Also, are you done with your thing?” you said when he mindlessly reached for a second tomato wedge. You slapped his hand away, eliciting a gasp and whine from him.
“You’re mean, Y/N,” a pout formed on Taehyung’s lips, but you simply rolled your eyes at him, “and, yeah, Kook is finishing everything up.” He rubbed his hand. “Also, what was I?”
You sighed and put down the knife, reaching for the kitchen towel hanging from Taehyung’s shoulder to wipe your hands on it. “Close to him during high school.”
Taehyung raised his brows for a second before his gaze wandered behind you and it clicked in his mind. “Talking about the past, huh?”
“Yeah, Kook rarely ever talks about it,” Heejin said and you took the little piece of uncut cucumber from her cutting board, wanting to busy yourself with something.
“What are you guys talking about?” Jungkook turned off the stove and walked up to you, stopping behind Heejin.
“High school,” Taehyung said and Jungkook’s eyes shot to you. His gaze dug into you, but you acted like you couldn’t feel it, couldn’t feel him looking at you and instead kept your focus on dicing the cucumber in front of you.
“Yeah, you never wanna talk about it, babe,” Heejin repeated again and Jungkook frowned at her words.
“It wasn’t a good time.”
For just a second, you stopped focusing on the cucumber and instead focused on the icicles slowly forming in your lungs and the piercing breeze blowing through your chest, but you pulled it together and ignored the cold spreading through you.
“Wait, seriously?” Heejin asked and looked at Jungkook with raised brows. 
“Yeah, I guess-” Jungkook shrugged and you could feel Taehyung’s eyes on you as you poured the diced cucumbers into the salad bowl. “It wasn’t-”
Jungkook looked over to you for a second, but you didn’t meet his gaze. You just kept staring at the cutting board and over your head, Taehyung shot Jungkook a look that almost resembled a glare. 
“I just don’t like thinking back to that time.” Jungkook shrugged once more and you let go of the knife. It hit the cutting board with a faint thud that had your face contorting and Taehyung tensing up next to you. His fingers pulled on your wrist and wrapped around it, thumb brushing over your skin to soothe you, but it did nothing to thaw the icicles hanging from your lungs, sharp and ready to steal your breath.
“I mean it’s not like it was awful or anything. I did have my friends and a g- uh, stuff like that, and at the time, I thought it was great,” Jungkook continued on, and your heart froze up more and more with each of his words.
His eyes wandered to you, digging into you as he continued,
“But great things always have to come to an end.”
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Taehyung was glued to your side for the rest of the time, and you thanked him with a smile when you felt like you could muster up one. He shot one right back at you and by the time dinner was actually served, you had almost completely forgotten about Jungkook’s words and the way they had frozen up your heart.
You almost forgot.
Because for some reason, you were the one sitting across from Jungkook. When Taehyung and you had noticed, you couldn’t switch anymore. And so, Jungkook and you made sure to keep your heads low and your legs tucked underneath your chairs.
“How come?”
You looked up and blinked at Heejin as she quickly swallowed the rice to continue talking.
“How come both of you haven’t watched ‘Titanic’?” she asked and pointed between Taehyung and you. 
“I don’t think there’s necessarily a reason, right?” you said and looked at Taehyung for confirmation. He hummed in agreement and shrugged, stuffing his face with some of the salad.
“Do you guys just not like romcoms?”
“Uh, wouldn’t say we don’t like them,” Taehyung mumbled, “but we don’t really watch them either.”
“Yeah, most are just a little too unrealistic for me,” you added and took a sip from your wine. 
“I get that. Unrealistic romcoms are definitely the worst,” Heejin laughed. “Kook and I really enjoy romcoms though.”
You almost told Heejin that you knew that, that you knew very much that Jungkook was a sucker for romcoms. He had been the romantic of you two, taking you out on the most extra dates, making sure that you always felt special, trying his hardest to make your relationship into a romcom.
“Netflix has put out some really great and realistic ones though recently,” Heejin continued. ”Like, ‘Set It Up’ is really great and funny and ‘To All The Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before’ while a little more cheesy, is still very great.”
“You really like romcoms, don’t you?” you asked and Heejin beamed at your question, clearly excited about the prospect of talking about romcoms in depth.
“Yeah, I absolutely love them,” she sighed and leaned forward a little, her smile widening. You smiled back at her because it was truly hard not to smile at Heejin.
“What’s your favourite one?” you asked and Heejin’s smile grew into a grin, eyes glossing over as the excitement etched onto her face. 
“Hard question, but I’d say ‘About Time’ and ‘Someone Great’ are some of my favourites,” Heejin said and you perked up.
“Didn’t we watch ‘About Time’?” You looked over to Jungkook without meaning to and when he met your gaze, his eyes were big and flushed with panic. Quickly, you added, “We watched it together, right? All of us?”
Your head whipped around to Taehyung and he was mid-bite, caught off guard. 
“Yeah, no, we, uh, did,” Taehyung coughed out, slightly choking on his rice.
“Wasn’t it great?” Heejin said with a big grin and you nodded, taking a big sip from your wine.
“W-what was the other one again? ‘Someone Great’? What is that one about? I don’t think I’ve heard of it,” you said, changing the topic. Jungkook quickly went back to focusing on his food, but Taehyung was still looking at you out of the corner of his eye.
“Oh, it’s about Jenny—she’s the main character—who is a journalist, and she lands her dream job, but to fulfill it, she has to move across the country,” Heejin started to explain and you thought you were hearing wrong. You almost choked on your own spit and you weren’t the only one noticing the similarities because Jungkook slowly raised his head and looked at you.
“Her boyfriend, Nate, of, I think, nine or ten years ends up breaking up with her because of it and then she and her friends, like, try to forget about everything and cheer her up. It’s a really good film. They also all have their own respective relationship problems and we also get to see Jenny’s and her boyfriend’s relationship through flashbacks,” Heejin finished up telling and Taehyung’s hand found yours. You let go of your fork to interlace your fingers with his because right now, you needed someone to hold onto.
“It’s not your conventional romcom,” Heejin said with a smile. “It’s why I love it so much. It totally brings up the question of love or work and what’s the right choice.”
You hummed and looked away, deciding not to look at Jungkook because you didn’t want to see the way his features contort and harden. You had seen it once already, had seen his face split apart in pain once before. You had seen it when you had told him you were leaving, and ever since, you hadn’t gotten it out of your head. It had haunted you all of these years. 
You knew if you looked at Jungkook right now, the guilt and bad memories would bubble up and chew you out again. A lump would lodge itself into your throat and your heart would tighten into an impossible knot and everything in your body would ache and scream and tears would prick your eyes and your lungs would freeze to ice. 
At the sight of it, you would be left on the floor, gutted and breathless and in pain and frozen.
“What do you think, Y/N?”
You were more than caught off guard by the question and you scrunched up your brows, tilting your head to the side as you met Heejin’s gaze.
“Like, the fact that her boyfriend broke up with her and she essentially had to choose between love and work. What do you think about that?” Heejin blinked at you and her expression was hard to read. Her lips were pressed into a thin line and her brows were slightly raised.
You stammered for something to say, incredibly aware that all eyes were on you. Jungkook seemed to be staring holes into you, almost like he was challenging you to say the wrong thing. Taehyung squeezed your hand even tighter now and you couldn’t thank him enough because it offered you enough strength to croak out, 
“I don’t know.”
For a moment, there was silence.
“Well, I think it was fair of her boyfriend to break up with her because leaving like that was just shitty,” Jungkook piped up and Taehyung scoffed quietly underneath his breath, whispering an ‘of course’ to himself.
“I wouldn’t say breaking up with her was fair at all,” Taehyung argued and you squeezed Taehyung’s hands, wishing he wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t start all of this, but you couldn’t get through him. He couldn’t feel your hand tightening around his, could only feel the anger coursing through his veins.
“How is breaking up with her not fair if they were going to break up anyway? It was inevitable. She essentially left him for a job. Might as well just do it instead of dragging it out,” Jungkook said and put down his fork and knife, leaning back to cross his arms in front of his chest.
“Dude, no, it wasn’t,” Taehyung spat out and tried his hardest to keep his voice level. “They could have tried, tried to work it out somehow. Maybe they would have broken up later, but not trying at all and then being mad at the other person is not fair at all and fucking ridiculous.”
Heejin looked between Jungkook and Taehyung as they threw words at each other’s heads like doing so would make the other understand. You sank deeper into the chair and never more did you wish for a hole to appear underneath you and swallow you. In fact, you wouldn’t mind if the hole swallowed you and never spat you out again.
The conversation had taken a different turn than Heejin had intended it to go and you hoped and prayed she wouldn’t piece it together, wouldn’t figure out what exactly was being said right now, wouldn't manage to read between the lines.
“Can you really blame her boyfriend, though?” Jungkook was slipping now. The anger was consuming him slowly and wholly, taking over him. “I- he must have been so caught off guard by the news that she was moving away. It’s not okay or fair to keep that shit from him all the time and then expect him to be fine with it or supportive after telling him-”
“Yeah, I get it. It sucks that she kept it from y- him, but ever thought that there was a reason, huh?” Taehyung was breaking as well and the mask of friendliness and neutrality was sliding off, sliding off so fast he couldn’t catch it. Not that he bothered to. ”Ever thought that she kept it a secret from him because she was scared and didn’t want to hurt him? Like, fine, dude, be mad at the moment, but hating her forever and not even bidding her goodbye-”
“You don’t seem to get just how hurt I- he was, Taehyung. It’s not that easy-”
“How is it not that easy to be a decent human being? If he loved her, if he really loved her, he would have realised that it was her dream and wished her well-”
“Well, if she really loved him, she wouldn’t have left him like that! But she did because she’s selfish.” 
At this point, Jungkook and Taehyung were essentially screaming at each other, words bitter and far too loud.
“Dude, how is it selfish to chase your dreams? Also, what the fuck are you trying to say? Is she meant to always choose him over everything-”
“No, that’s literally not what I’m saying. She should have talked to him-”
“And she did, but he didn’t listen. What was she gonna do? Harass him into listening?”
“No, because at that point, when he refused to listen, she had already messed it all up! She had already broken him. Fuck, they were literally dating for years and years and one day, she just tells him she’s gonna leave? Like, what the actual fuck? What about their promise of forever? What about that? Was he not enough for her now?”
Jungkook was glaring at Taehyung with his eyes blown out wide and his chest heaving, lungs aching for air.
“She can go fuck herself for that!”
Your knuckles turned white around Taehyung’s hand and your teeth sank into your tongue. It was your poor attempt to numb the pain rippling through you now with even more pain.
Jungkook’s words were dripping with venom and anger. They sliced into you and pushed out any warmth inside you, leaving you freezing and cold. They poisoned you, sent the icicles crashing down from where they had been hanging, and they pierced through your lungs and filled them up with blood. You could feel yourself choke, suffocate slowly and painfully as his words replayed over and over again in your mind like a broken record.
You wanted to press your eyes shut and run away. You didn’t want to hear any of it anymore, didn’t want to have to listen to Taehyung and Jungkook screaming at each other, yelling like it was a battle of who could be the loudest.
Your eyes locked with Jungkook’s and while his stare was cold and hard, colder and harder than you had ever seen it, there seemed to be something else glimmering in his eyes too. And that something made him look like he knew he had gone too far, look like he knew exactly what his words were doing to you, but right now, he didn’t care, didn’t care just how much he was hurting you because in his mind, you had hurt him first, had hurt him worse.
So, hurting you was okay, justified even.
Taehyung fixed Jungkook with a glare, but he simply held his own, eyes digging into Taehyung’s as much as his eyes were digging into Jungkook’s. Taehyung’s nostrils were flared and his jaw was locked to the point it had to hurt. Both slipped into a staring contest either were more than determined to win.
At the end though, it was Jungkook who tore his gaze away, but the anger and frustration were etched onto every line and edge of his face. 
Taehyung scoffed before throwing his fork down on the plate and jumping up. His chair hit the floor and you were about to pick it up when he yanked on your hand. You stumbled after him more than anything else and as Taehyung led you around the table and out of the kitchen, your gaze met Heejin’s.
Her brows were drawn together and for once, there was no hint of a smile on her lips. You wanted to apologise to her, tell her it was all fine—even though you weren’t even sure if it was—but then you saw her hand on his knee underneath the table and suddenly, there was an unbelievably uncomfortable knot sitting in your throat, stopping you.
“I hope you don’t choke on your fucking diced cucumbers, dude.”
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[yoongs - 08:23 PM] : @y/n @tehyung how is the dinner going?
[yeri - 08:34 PM] : ohh, yeah, how is it? are you guys still stuck watching jack draw rose like one of his ~french girls~??
[yeri - 08:34 PM] : also yoongs do you have taes name saved wrong in your phone??? wtf
[yoongs - 08:57 PM] : have you guys gotten to that stupid door scene yet?
[yeri - 09:14 PM] : are you ignoring me? 
[yoongs - 09:43 PM] : @y/n @tehyung didnt you guys say youd try to go home asap
[yoongs - 09:43 PM] : how long is dinner and a film? or are you guys ignoring us?
[yeri - 09:45 PM] : tae, are you ignoring us like yoongs is ignoring me right now?? like y/n i get bc she sucks at texting, but you? tae? not responding? :o
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[You - 04:57 AM] : hey, yoongs! please dont say anything to yeri or tae, but could you give me his address? kinda urgent.
[yoongs - 09:14 AM] : are you okay? why are you texting me at 4?
[You - 09:14 AM] : im fine. ill tell you all about it later. just give me his address please
[yoongs - 09:15 AM] : uff fine
[yoongs sent in location]
[yoongs - 09:15 AM] : its 201
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In high school, you hadn’t been nearly as close to Taehyung as you were now. It wasn’t because you hadn’t been friends with each other, but rather because he had been so close to Jungkook already. Even after your friend group had formed, the two always had a different kind of bond, a deeper one. And even after Jungkook and you had started dating, their bond had been just as strong as yours had been with Jungkook. 
It had never bothered you because Taehyung and Jungkook had known each other forever, had known each other since they were in diapers. In fact, Yerim, Yoongi and you had always poked fun at that, always joked that those two were the true couple of your friend group. 
It was why you should have expected this to happen when you knocked on Taehyung’s front door.
“Jungkook?”
Your lips parted slightly as you stared at him with big eyes. He was equally as shocked as you were, clearly not checking who it had been before opening the door.
“How’d you get in?” he asked with a furrow of his brows and you stammered before pointing behind you.
“Uh, someone let me in when they were walking out,” you explained and Jungkook scoffed slightly, head shaking from left to right as he cursed his neighbour.
Jungkook was donning a simple white T-Shirt and grey swats. You had seen him in this outfit more times than you could count when you had dated, but it still had your heart quickening because, fuck, he did look good dressed like that.
And as you stared at him, all of the memories of yesterday came rushing back to you and immediately, you lowered your gaze to your feet.
“He isn’t here. Didn’t come home yesterday,” Jungkook mumbled, knowing exactly why you were here and that you definitely were not here for him. Judging from your reaction upon seeing him, you hadn’t expected to see him. Another scoff almost escaped him, but somehow, he managed to swallow it. 
When you looked back up to him, Jungkook was already walking away, but the door stood wide open. Interpreting him leaving the door open as inviting you inside, you stepped in and closed the door behind you.
You tightened your grip around your tote bag as you walked inside, steps light. You were ready to run right out if Jungkook was to ask you why the fuck you invited yourself inside, but he didn’t. He just walked into the living room and sat down on his U shaped couch before pulling out his phone and mindlessly scrolling through it.
Unsure what to do—not only because you had never been here before, but also because you hadn’t expected to see Jungkook—you stopped behind him, not daring to take a single step inside the living room.
It was small and most of the room was taken up by the U shaped couch, but somehow it still looked home-y and cozy. Something about it, about the way the furniture was arranged and the room was decorated screamed comfort and you knew Jungkook was to thank for it. 
“Jesus fucking Christ, just sit. Looks like I’m not letting you.”
You snapped around to see Jungkook rolling his eyes at you. He gestured around him, offering you the rest of the couch, but you hesitated to do just what he had told you to. His eyes continued to burn into you and after a second and some internal debating, you wandered around the couch and sat down, choosing the seat that was furthest from Jungkook’s.
The gap between you two was huge, enough to fit Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi between it, and you were more than thankful for it because the tension was palpable, thick, so thick a knife couldn’t even cut through it, so thick it could stop a bullet.
You put down your tote bag next to you, but you held it close to you, protecting the food inside. After a few seconds of silence, you pulled out your phone, unlocking it to open Taehyung’s and your chat.
[You - 09:32 AM] : where, uh, are you right now?
[You - 09:32 AM] : please come home asap. im sitting in the living room with him and its awkward as fuck. hurry
[You - 09:32 AM] : also why the fuck didnt you tell me you lived w him??
You were about to make a new group chat, add Yoongi and Yerim to it and panic text them when Taehyung came online and started typing.
[tae - 09:32 AM] : wtf??
[tae - 09:33 AM] : why the fuck ar u at my place?? you know where i lve?
[tae - 09:33 AM] : im there asap
[You - 09:33 AM] : i made you food as a way to say sorry
[tae - 09:33 AM] : go into my room its in the back. on the left second dor
[tae - 09:33 AM] : why sorry????
[You - 09:34 AM] : okay good. hurry
[You - 09:34 AM] : uh well your fight with him???? you forgot abt it?
[tae - 09:34 AM] : no ofc not
[tae - 09:34 AM] : but
[You - 09:34 AM] : omfg what does it matter. just come home
[tae - 09:35 AM] : fine
You sighed and hoped that Taehyung was going to come back in the next ten minutes or so because you couldn’t stand being in a room with Jungkook any longer. You just couldn’t forget that he was right here, that he was just sitting a few metres away from you, in the same room as you.
“But she did because she’s selfish.”
“When he refused to listen, she had already messed it all up!”
“She had already broken him.”
“He wasn’t enough for her now?”
“What about their promise of forever?”
“She can go fuck herself for that!”
You pressed your lips together and let your head fall, eyes squeezing shut as you tried to block it all out, tried not to think, but it was hard, hard when the person you had hurt the most in the world was sitting right there. You wanted to fall to your knees and beg for Jungkook’s forgiveness, but you doubted you had a right to even do that, not to mention talk to him.
The guilt had been eating you up since yesterday evening and continued on as you laid in bed, desperately trying to get some sleep. In the end, you watched the sun creep up the sky, painting your hometown in a tragic orange. 
“Here.”
You peeled your eyes open at the sound before slowly raising your head to see Jungkook standing right in front of you, hands buried in his sweats. He nodded towards the coffee table and when you looked at it, a cup of coffee was sitting on top of it.
“Looks like you haven’t slept in years,” Jungkook scoffed, almost like his words were meant to hurt you, but for once, for the first time since you had seen him again, they had warmth spreading through you. 
“Oh, thanks.”
You reached for the cup of coffee, and it was bordering on cold, but when you took a sip from it, you could feel the sun start to shine in your chest and thaw the remnants of the icicles that had stayed behind from yesterday, shine away the mess that yesterday had left behind.
“Thanks,” you mumbled again, but Jungkook had already turned on his heel and sat down again. You didn’t care, didn’t care because that had just been the first somewhat civil interaction Jungkook and you had shared and you couldn’t help but treasure it.
If you were completely honest, the coffee tasted okay at best and kind of bad at worst, and maybe it was because you were incredibly tired so any caffeine was welcomed or maybe it was because Jungkook had given you the cup of coffee, but somehow that was the best cup of coffee you had ever had. It dissolved on your tongue in the best way possible. 
“Uh,” you turned to Jungkook and he looked up from his phone, brows shooting up as his lips pulled into a thin line. You wanted to say something, but your voice had to have dissolved with the coffee because you couldn’t get it to come out.
You simply pointed at your empty cup of coffee and after a few more seconds of incredibly awkward staring, you managed to croak out, “Where can I put, uh-”
“Just leave it on the coffee table,” Jungkook said before immediately turning back to his phone. You nodded nevertheless and did as you were told.
You pulled out your phone too, and, so, you two sat there for a while in silence as you waited for Taehyung to come home. Almost twenty minutes had passed at this point and because you were too focused on your phone, you didn’t notice Jungkook turn off his phone and put it back in his pocket, didn’t notice him press his lips into a thin line before sighing and looking up to you.
“You remember how I like my cucumbers cut?”
Your eyes shot to him and you could feel the heat crawl up your neck at the question, recalling clearly how he had reacted when you had insinuated how well you still knew him, how that had led to him fixing you with the most piercing stare and ended with him telling you that you taught him that people were selfish and that he hoped you were right and that he didn’t have to see you again after this.
“Uh,” you started before carefully continuing, “yeah. I- I do.”
And it was then that you watched Jungkook crack a smile.
He smiled like he hadn’t essentially told you to go fuck yourself yesterday, smiled like you hadn’t broken his heart, smiled like everything was fine between you two. For the first few seconds, you thought your brain was playing a joke on you, thought you were seeing wrong and that the coffee was hitting you just really hard, but then-
“I thought it was dumb that I prefered diced cucumbers.” Jungkook scrunched up his nose and tilted his head at you, and a smile stretched across your lips, heart tumbling in your chest.
“It is,” you said, “but I’ve been kind of dumb these days.”
You shrugged and Jungkook’s smile widened the tiniest bit, and you had to bite on your lip to stop your smile from growing into a grin, from growing a little too big.
“I swear they taste better diced-”
“Oh my god,” you groaned and rolled your eyes at Jungkook in faux annoyance. “You still seriously think that-”
“I don’t think, I-”
“Yeah, I know you don’t think,” you said and slipped back into teasing Jungkook like nothing had ever happened between you two, like you had never left, like he hadn’t hated and resented you for it, like you hadn’t hurt each other, like yesterday hadn’t happened.
Jungkook gasped at your words, and you giggled when you saw the smile pulling on the corners of his lips that he was so desperately trying to hide, relieved to know that you hadn’t crossed a line.
“Damn, I didn’t miss this, Y/N,” Jungkook said with a light laugh and you noticed instantly that Jungkook had said your name. Your heart tumbled in your chest, involuntarily, and as much as you had tried to hide it by biting it away, a grin split apart on your lips.
For once, there was no tension in the air, no cold lingering around you two, no icicles forming in your lungs. For once, your joints weren’t tightening to the point it hurt and ached, no stiffness stretching you straight. For once, you felt somewhat comfortable around Jungkook, somewhat at ease.
“What did you miss then?” 
“You.”
The answer slipped past Jungkook’s lips, rolled off his tongue without a second thought and you knew it, knew he hadn’t meant to say that, knew he hadn’t intentionally said it when you saw the blood rush to his face and paint his cheeks a bright and blaring red.
Your lips parted slightly and you blinked at Jungkook. Both of you both fell silent again and snapped your heads around, avoiding each other’s gazes as much as possible. And slowly, you could feel the tension fill up the room again, seep into every crack of the room, but this time it was different. 
This time the silence was loud, louder than Taehyung and Jungkook had been yesterday when they were screaming at each other. And with each second it lingered in the stifling air, you felt like it was urging you to say something, urging you to break it and tell Jungkook all of the things you had been wanting to say.
And so, you did, did break it, but you didn’t say the things you had been wanting to say. You said the thing you knew was okay to say.
“Heejin is nice.”
You whispered it into the room, whispered it so quietly like you didn’t want to break the silence that had been begging to be broken. Your eyes stayed on the ground, stayed focused on anything that wasn’t Jungkook, and he did the same, didn’t look up either.
“Yeah,” Jungkook breathed out and propped his arms on his knees, body leaning forward. “I guess she is.”
You nodded, barely registering his answer because you weren’t actually listening for it, not that you could have if you had wanted to because your heart was thumping in your ears, each beat as loud as a bomb going off right next to you. 
“H-how long have you two been dating?” you asked and you were honestly not sure why you were asking because simply thinking about Heejin and Jungkook together hurt you. Somehow you had been spared of their relationship details so far and you were more than thankful for that.
“Well, uh, a couple months,” Jungkook said with a cough. “Almost six now, I think.”
“And she hasn’t met the others yet?” you asked and peeked over to Jungkook. He only lowered his head even more and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Yeah, no, she hasn’t,” Jungkook mumbled.
“How come?” you continued in an attempt to lighten the whole situation, but somehow the air seemed to grow thicker with every word you exchanged. 
Jungkook took his time to answer, eyes scanning the floor like the words would appear on it if he stared long enough, like someone would whisper into his ear why Heejin hadn’t met his friends yet, like he would remember what his reasoning was.
“I- I don’t know,” Jungkook ended up sighing before curling up into himself, head lowering even more as if he was aiming to plant it to the floor.
“How’d you meet?” you asked.
“How does anybody meet anybody these days? Dating apps.”.
“What-”
“Did you date?”
The question was simple, each word easy to understand, but you had difficulties figuring out what he was asking you.
“When you were there, I mean. Did you date?”
You stammered for an answer, words running away from you like you were children playing Tag on a sunny day with your friends, and you were losing, miserably. The air was knocked out of your lungs and it took you seemingly an eternity to finally get it together and cough out some words, words that put together resembled an answer.
“I- yeah, I, uh, did.” You grimaced at yourself, head lowering to avoid Jungkook’s gaze the same way he had avoided yours before.
“So, you had, like, a serious-”
“No,” you cut in a little too fast. “I mean I dated, but nothing was really serious. I never had anything like a proper- you know.”
The corners of Jungkook’s lip curled up the tiniest bit at your answer.
“How come?”
You sighed and gripped your tote bag next to you, wondering now where the fuck Taehyung was because hadn’t he said he would hurry? 
“It just never felt quite right, I guess.” You shrugged and shifted from left to right, fingers tightening around your tote bag. “They were all funny and kind, but- I guess you could say that something was missing. Like, I don’t know, the spark or whatever.” Another shrug. “But also not like I had time to date. Was busy with my studies anyway.”
Jungkook hummed and for a moment, you both fell silent again. You were about to pull out your phone and mumble something about checking where Taehyung was to change the subject to something lighter, easier, when he cut in.
“Anyone significant though?” Your eyes shot to him and you raised your brows at him. His face was neutral, but there was definite curiosity swimming in his pupils. “Like, memorable? Anyone that stuck around a little longer? Or, you know, you liked-”
“No,” you said with a vigorous shake of your head. “No one that was in any way memorable or significant. Most just- they just kind of blur together.”
Jungkook looked at you for another second, words sinking in with him before he nodded and hummed. Both of you lowered your gazes again and fell into the all too familiar silence, tension creeping up on you.
But before you could be forced to break the silence once again and word vomit all over yourself, there was a rumbling and a frantic turning of keys. A second later, the front door flew open. Hectic and clumsy steps followed and soon enough, your eyes landed on a frazzled and panting Taehyung.
He stopped in the middle of the room, right in front of Jungkook and you. His chest heaved and judging from the sweat running down his temple, he had run a good amount.
Jungkook looked away when Taehyung stumbled into the living room, and instantly, you could feel a change in the air. The tension sat on your chest, suffocating you as it seeped into every corner of the room.
“My room,” Taehyung panted before pointing at you and into the hallway, not sparing Jungkook a single glance as he turned on his heel. You didn’t follow his words and only tightened your grip around your tote bag.
“I, uh,” you cleared your throat and Taehyung stopped, turning around to look at you with raised brows, confused, “I’d rather stay, uh, here.”
“What?” Taehyung asked and irritation started to mix with his confusion. “Why?”
His eyes dug into yours like he was trying to tell you just how little he wanted to stay here, and you sighed, tucking a strand behind your ear. Your tongue swiped across your bottom lip and you could feel your heart quicken in your chest, quicken impossibly.
“I-” you lowered your head before finally mustering up the courage to say it. “I know I said I came here to say sorry for yesterday, but I’m also here to say that I’d like to stop—I guess you could call it fake dating, right?—well, anyway, I’m here to tell you I’d like to stop fake dating you,” you thought to yourself, unsure how to call what Taehyung and you had been doing, “or whatever.”
“Why?”
“Because,” you started, voice quiet and calm, and you couldn’t look at Taehyung or Jungkook as you explained yourself because, fuck, all of this was so ridiculous and dumb, “I don’t like it. I don’t like lying. It’s stupid.”
You shrugged and when you looked up to Taehyung, he had his brows raised at you and his hands on his hips, obviously not believing you at all.
“You’re literally ly-”
“Also,” you cut in, not wanting to give Taehyung a chance to disagree with you and because you had to get everything out right now before the courage left you and you were staring at the floor once again. “Also, it’s just not fair to Heejin. She doesn’t deserve to be lied to you. She’s a good person and if she finds out that we’ve been lying to her, she- I don’t know, might break up with, uh, you know.”
Your eyes flickered to Jungkook. He was already looking at you, and maybe it was because your heart was beating in your ears, tumbling way too loud in your chest or maybe because you couldn’t properly look at him for more than a second, but you couldn’t read his expression. There was something in his eyes, but you couldn’t quite figure out what exactly.
“And we don’t want that, right?” 
Your voice wavered as you said the words and you hoped it would go unnoticed, hoped that neither Taehyung nor Jungkook listened closely enough to hear the waver. You folded your arms over your stomach, focusing back on Taehyung. He eyed you, continued to do so and you had to try your hardest not to shift and look away. 
“Fine,” Taehyung sighed, gaze tearing away to let it wander before his eyes returned to you like he had come to accept your decision just now. “What do you suggest?”
“I- uh,” you flashed Taehyung a nervous smile and wrung your hands together, “I don’t know. I- I figured we’d come up with something,” a short pause, “together.”
When you looked over to Jungkook again, he was staring at the floor before meeting your gaze, obviously not thinking he was going to be included in this. You wanted to muster up something that resembled a smile, but looking at him was something you couldn’t do, so, your eyes flickered to Taehyung. No smile for Jungkook.
“Together,” you repeated and Taehyung sighed, head lowering for a few seconds as he squeezed his eyes shut. When he looked up again, there was a deep line etched onto his features.
“Fine,” Taehyung breathed out before wandering into the room again and sitting down right opposite of Jungkook. 
All three of you occupied one side of the U shaped couch, Jungkook the left, Taehyung the right and you the middle.
“Okay, uh,” you started when the silence continued on too long, leaning forward to grab Taehyung's attention. “I- I’d say we have to break up amicably, right?”
You looked over to Taehyung for some kind of reaction, but his eyes were fixed on Jungkook and his eyes were fixed on Taehyung as well. Your head started to throb and you knew it was a matter of time until it split apart. Unable to take it any longer, you clapped your hands together and cut through some of the lingering tension.
“I thought we were gonna talk,” you said, voice quiet because you were too scared to speak up too loudly. You looked at Taehyung only because looking at Taehyung was easy and looking at Jungkook was not. “Let’s talk then, please.”
Taehyung and Jungkook locked eyes once more, the corners of their lips turned down, but both came to a mutual conclusion.
“Okay,” Jungkook sighed and shifted in his seat. 
“Yeah, fine,” Taehyung mumbled quietly, arms unfolding to rest on his knees. 
There was a moment of silence as he thought.
“You said break up amicably, right?” Taehyung pointed at you and you nodded. “Yeah, sounds like a good idea.”
“What does it matter if you two break up amicably or not?” Jungkook questioned with a furrow of his brow and Taehyung sighed.
“It matters because if Y/N and I don’t break up amicably, we can’t hang out in the future. So, if Heejin were to see us, it’d be weird,” Taehyung explained and the irritation was dripping from his words.
“You guys wanna hang out in the future?” Jungkook asked and Taehyung contorted his face at him.
“Yeah, of course, dude. Why the fuck wouldn’t we? We’re friends,” he said and shook his head at Jungkook, scoffing slightly.
“Don’t-”
“Okay, great. Break up amicably. How though?” you cut in before things could escalate any further, turning to Taehyung for some answers, but he simply shrugged.
“How about,” Jungkook started and ran a hand through his hair, “How about you two start acting annoyed with each other the next time we meet up? Like, start dropping hints and then, I’ll make some comment about how you two have problems and then, when we see each other again, you two are broken up.”
“Yeah, I doubt that Heejin would like to meet up again after yesterday,” Taehyung said and you hummed in agreement.
“Are you sure this is about Heejin not wanting to meet up or just you?” Jungkook bit back and you sighed inwardly, regretting not taking Yoongi or Yerim with you as support.
“Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?” Taehyung sneered with a scoff and a breathy chuckle, and you were certain your skull was going to break into pieces.
“What am I talking about? How about the fact that you didn’t come home yesterday?” Jungkook asked and pointed at Taehyung, the knit deepening between his brows.
“What does that-”
“Tae, please,” you interrupted and closed your eyes, hating every second of this. “Just don’t, please.”
You peeled your eyelids open and locked eyes with him, shaking your head from left to right as you were on the verge of giving this up and going home. Taehyung’s gaze softened when he saw how tired you were, irritation washing out of him in an instant.
“Yeah, no, you’re right. I’m sorry,” he mumbled, hand reaching for yours and you took it, squeezing it to thank him silently. You two shared a look and both of you were too occupied to notice Jungkook lowering his head and scoffing silently to himself, teeth sinking far too deep into his lip, so much so it should hurt.
“Okay, so, how-” you started, letting go of Taehyung’s hand to concentrate on the conversation again. “How did you imagine us meeting up again? Because I also don’t think that Heejin would want to meet up after yesterday.”
You glanced into Jungkook’s direction, but he kept his head low, acting like he was thinking when in reality, he was trying not to burst. 
“Maybe we could convince Yeri or Yoongs to host a game night or whatever,” Taehyung offered as a solution and you thought about his words for a moment before nodding, a smile tugging on the corners of your lips.
“Yeah, that sounds like something,” you said and turned to Jungkook slightly, glancing into his general direction to gauge his reaction.
“But,” Jungkook started, head raising a little as he looked at Taehyung with his brows slightly knitted together, “that’d mean Heejin would meet-”
Jungkook didn’t finish the sentence, deciding to swallow the rest of it instead and Taehyung and you exchanged a glance, giving him a few seconds to make up his mind again as to what he wanted to say.
“Yeah, no, that’s fine,” Jungkook sighed at the end, nodding, and Taehyung and you locked eyes once more.
“Great. I can talk to them about it,” you said with somewhat of a smile on your lips and Taehyung hummed in agreement and Jungkook just rubbed the back of his neck.
Stifling silence fell over all three of you, but then you remembered why you had come here in the first place. You dug through your tote bag and pulled out one tupperware box before pulling out another one. You placed them both on the coffee table and pushed them into their direction.
Taehyung and Jungkook looked up when they heard the sliding of the tupperware boxes and almost simultaneously, they furrowed their brows together and glanced at you. You didn’t meet either’s gazes, deciding to fiddle with the strap of your tote bag instead. 
“Breakfast,” you said with a shrug and it took Taehyung grabbing his box and removing the top for Jungkook to finally stop staring at you and grab his box.
“You made me food too?” Jungkook asked and stared at the box in front of him before glancing back up to you. You lowered your head even more, cheeks growing hot underneath his eyes.
“Well, no, not really,” you started, clearing your throat. “I mean I didn’t know you lived with Tae, but since he always used to eat so much I figured one box wasn’t enough and so, I made two, but I’m pretty sure two boxes were too much anyway. So, this works out perfectly actually. But it’s just a bunch of stuff I found in my fridge and threw together. Really nothing special.”
You shrugged more and Taehyung mumbled something underneath his breath, but you couldn’t catch it. Without a fork or a chopstick or any cutlery, he dug in, biting off a piece of the fried egg.
“Fuck, it’s good,” Taehyung said with a slight scoff like it was infuriating to him that your cooking (Could it be considered cooking though because you just made some bacon and fried egg and cut up some vegetables?) didn’t completely suck.
“Thanks,” Taehyung mumbled in between bites, enjoying the food so much that he couldn’t even raise his head to look at you.
You nodded and glanced at Jungkook, who had snapped out of whatever he had previously been and finally removed the top of the box, marvelling at the food in front of him. And just like Taehyung, he dug in, fingers first. You watched Jungkook try the bacon and shake his head as he chewed, a smile overtaking his lips more and more as he continued eating.
Jungkook looked up, eyes locking with yours and with the softest smile, he nodded at you.
“Thank you.”
And you nodded right back at him with your heart tumbling far too loudly in your chest.
“You’re welcome.”
All three of you fell silent and for a while, Taehyung’s and Jungkook’s constant chewing was the only thing that rang in your ears at all.
“Uh, Tae, could you give me-” Jungkook pointed at the box of tissues in front of Taehyung, out of his reach. He looked up at Jungkook’s voice, blinking for a few seconds because this had been the first time Jungkook had talked to him in a civil manner. Taehyung nodded and shoved the little piece of carrot into his mouth.
“Yeah, no, sure thing,” he mumbled before taking a tissue and leaning over the table to give it to Jungkook. He took it, wiping his fingers and mouth before locking eyes with Taehyung once more.
“Thanks,” Jungkook mumbled quietly and Taehyung smiled to himself a little before waving it off.
“Sure thing,” Taehyung mumbled equally quiet and you had to stop the grin from growing on your lips. 
For a few more seconds, you sat there as Taehyung and Jungkook practically devoured the food you had made (neither bothered to go to the kitchen and get some cutlery though) before you crossed your arms in front of your chest and turned to Taehyung.
“Why were you so late?” you asked and he looked up, a piece of fried egg hanging from the corner of his mouth. “And where were you that it took you half an hour to get back?”
Taehyung rolled his eyes at you and swiped across his mouth with the back of his hand, swallowing heavily. “I crashed at Yoongi’s, and I swear the traffic was just out of the world this morning. I hit more red lights-”
“What? Was there a fire? Or did someone drop a bunch of mirrors on the road?”
Jungkook choked next to you and you watched him cough and pat his chest, trying desperately not to suffocate. Taehyung and you exchanged glances, and even though it had been incredibly awkward and tense just mere minutes ago, things were slowly changing.
When he finally managed to swallow his food, Jungkook locked eyes with you and you tried to hide it, but a smile grew onto your lips, eliciting his cheeks to grow hot and red.
“You guys never believed me,” Jungkook mumbled, a dramatic pout forming on his lips, and when you looked at Taehyung again, both of you burst out into laughter.
“Can you blame us though? Fires? Broken mirrors?” Taehyung laughed, forgetting everything that had happened between Jungkook and him.
“Why would I lie? There’s literally no reason for me to-”
“Because you forgot time and are now running late and trying to shift blame because you don’t want to get shit on for being late, again,” you offered as an explanation, falling into the same old teasing you all used to do when you were all still in high school and your biggest worries were if your mother or Jungkook was going to drive you home today and if Jungkook was going to stay at your place or if you were going to stay at his.
“I would never do that,” Jungkook argued and you rolled your eyes, exchanging a knowing glance with Taehyung. “Hey! No, don’t look at each other like that. I can see you guys.”
“Never thought or said you were blind,” Taehyung grinned and plopped a small tomato into his mouth. You hummed in agreement, grin growing bigger and brighter when you saw Jungkook scoff and shake his head at Taehyung and you.
“It’s always been you two against me,” Jungkook complained and Taehyung and you rolled your eyes simultaneously, scoffing.
“Please, if anything it was always you two,” Taehyung pointed at Jungkook and you with a piece of carrot before pointing at himself, “against me.”
“That is not true-”
“It was,” you said and locked eyes with Jungkook, nodding. “We’ve gotta admit it. We bullied Tae more than Tae and I bullied you.”
“So, you did bully me then,” Jungkook said and you rolled your eyes in faux annoyance.
“You’re focusing on the wrong thing,” Taehyung started and pointed at you, waving the piece of carrot around like it wasn’t food. “Y/N never got bullied. Only we did.”
“Oh my God, we never did bully you,” Jungkook said with a dramatic turn of his head and you scoffed, shaking your head because, oh, you did get bullied.
“Yoongs bullied me,” you corrected with a raise of your finger. “And if anyone didn’t get bullied, it was Yeri.”
“No, Yoongs bullied Yeri,” Taehyung said with his brows furrowed together and dismissed your words with a wave of his hand, after having finally eaten the piece of carrot. “You know who actually didn’t get bullied?”
“Yoongs,” Jungkook replied and all of you locked eyes, the realisation dawning on you. There was a beat of silence before you all started talking again, simultaneously.
“That bitch really bullied all of us relentlessly, but never got some of it back.”
“How did we not notice earlier?”
“Looks like we’ve got some bullying to do, huh?”
Another beat of silence followed before you locked eyes once more and all started laughing, pearls of laughter spilling from your lips, loud and beautiful.
And all of the tension and stiffness was gone, gone as you laughed your hearts out. Everything that had happened between you three was forgotten for a moment, the grudges were at the back of your minds, locked away for now, and you took it, took whatever the universe gave you that resembled normalcy. Deep down, you knew things were going to be awkward and tense once you all saw each other again, but for now, it was different, was like it used to be. 
Everything was great.
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“I thought you guys would never come,” Yerim laughed, trying so hard to hide the nervosity, but you could hear it. She threw her arms around Jungkook’s neck, pulling him into a hug as he mumbled some excuse into her ear.
“Yeah, sorry.”
You watched Yerim and Heejin meet for the first time and you caught pieces of their conversation, listening to the usual spiel that consisted of ‘Oh, I’ve heard so much about you.’ and ‘It’s so nice to finally meet you’ before plopping a chip into your mouth, deeming whatever Yerim and Heejin were talking about as not interesting.
You had decided to busy yourself with the snacks in the kitchen when the bell had announced Jungkook’s and Heejin’s arrival, coming to the conclusion beforehand that if you looked busy, you didn’t have to get the door and do the obligatory greetings and hugs. With the way the door to the kitchen stood open, you could only see parts of the living room, but you had a perfect view of the front door. You, however, were somewhat hidden by one of Yerim’s plant. Essentially, you stood in the perfect spot to observe without being observed yourself.
“I thought you hated these chips.”
Your head whipped around at his voice and you realised only now he was already standing next to you, fingers grabbing the chip you had been about to eat. A gasp slipped past your lips as you watched him throw the chip into his mouth and lean against the table, shifting his whole weight onto the table.
“Yoongs!” you said, exasperated, but he didn’t care at all, grabbing a handful as he watched Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook exchange pleasantries at the front door.
“Didn’t you say the last time we hung out that these were too stale and bland in your opinion?” he asked, eyes never leaving the people at the front door, and you shrugged, plopping another stale and bland chip into your mouth.
“Opinions change.”
“That was last week.”
“Fine, so maybe they are too stale and bland in my opinion, but Yeri doesn’t have anything else,” you grumbled and threw another chip into your mouth, barely allowing yourself time to swallow and realise (again) just how horrible these chips were and why exactly you hated them.
“Shouldn’t you be saying hello right now?” you asked with a furrow of your brows and Yoongi scoffed.
“Why would I? I don’t live here. Yeri does,” Yoongi said with a scrunch of his nose. “Also, these are fucking horrible.” He looked at the chip in his hand with narrowed eyes. “God, they are stale and bland. I think these are those healthy chips or whatever.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” you said, not really caring about the chips anymore, “but you haven’t met Heejin yet.” You nodded into her direction. “You should say hello.”
“Shouldn’t we all say hello to her regardless of if we’ve met her before or not?” Yoongi asked, plopping another chip into his mouth seconds after complaining about them. “So, shouldn’t you too?”
“I- Yeah, technically, I guess. But it’s different for you,” you argued.
Yoongi scoffed and shook his head, pausing a little as he focused on Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook again before snapping out of it. 
“I tell you what,” Yoongi started before shoving a handful of chips into his mouth, chewing to the end before continuing, “you go over there and say hello and then, I’ll do the same thing.”
You stared at Yoongi, but he didn’t meet your gaze, enjoying the view of Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook in the distance instead, and you huffed before mumbling underneath your breath for him to forget it. Both of you ate chips in silence for a few more seconds before he nudged your elbow with his hand, accidentally dropping a chip when he moved a little too quickly, but he didn’t mind or care at all.
“Tae’s going in,” Yoongi informed you and at his words, you looked up to see that, yes, Taehyung was, in fact, walking up to Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook, a strained smile on his lips.
“Yeah, probably because we aren’t,” you mumbled and Yoongi hummed in agreement. “Always there to save the day.”
“Look at Yeri’s panicked smile,” Yoongi said and pointed at her, and as much as you tried not to, you laughed a little, eliciting one from him.
“We’re bad people, Yoongs,” you snorted and he shook his head at you as he watched the horror unfold in front of him. 
“They haven’t made up yet, have they?” Yoongi asked and judging from the way Taehyung and Jungkook were hugging each other (or, well, actually not hugging each other because they were doing that awkward thing Jungkook and you had done the last time you had ‘hugged’ each other, and that was definitely not a hug.), it was obvious what the answer was.
“Obviously not,” you said and reached for your glass of water to wash down the salt. “Things are better though. Last time, they were ready to jump each other’s throats.”
Yoongi snorted and it was then that you remembered and looked over to him.
“Remember how I asked you for Tae’s address? Why didn’t you tell me he was crashing at your place then?”
A smirk formed on Yoongi’s lips and you wanted nothing more than to throw your glass of water into his face. The fact that he was still not looking at you only added to your irritation and frustration with him. 
“You told me not to tell Tae and Yeri, so I didn’t.”
“Yoongi!” you growled and jabbed him in his ribs, eliciting a breath from him. “You should have told me! Do you know how weird it was when he opened the door? You’re impossible sometimes.”
You scrunched up your brows and gritted your teeth, but Yoongi just cackled next to you, obviously enjoying your misery very much.
“You know what?” you asked and put down your glass of water with a little more force than necessary. “I take it back. We aren’t bad people. You are. You’re straight up a dick.”
“Oh, I never agreed with you,” Yoongi said and you frowned at his words, not getting what he was saying. “I know that I’m a bad person, but, trust me, you’re definitely not.”
Your frown deepened and you were about to ask him what he was talking about when Yoongi finally looked at you and stopped eating the chips, letting the few pieces in his hand fall back in the bowl. He dusted off his hand and straightened up to look at you properly.
“Look around yourself, Y/N,” he said and threw his hands into the air. “We’re at a fake game night party or whatever this thing is that you forced Yeri to throw, so you could act ‘annoyed’ with Taehyung because you’re fake dating him and you’re only fake dating him because that dumbass ex of yours, who is also somehow our dear friend, Jeon fucking Jungkook, forgot to tell his current girlfriend that you dated during high school.”
You tore your gaze away and bit on your tongue, trying desperately not to squirm underneath Yoongi’s gaze.
“This is fucking ridiculous,” Yoongi continued and you lowered your head, squeezing your eyes shut. “This is literally the dumbest thing ever. You’re making sure Jungkook, who, again, I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, is your ex, keeps his current girlfriend because he, again, was a dumbass and forgot to tell her about you. And on top of that, he’s been acting like a complete fucking asshole to you.
“Obviously. you’re not a bad person. You’re a fucking saint for putting up with and doing all of this.”
“It’s not like that-”
“Don’t try to convince me otherwise, Y/N,” Yoongi cut in and shoved his face with chips again before regretting it immediately and scrunching up his face in disgust. You peeled your eyes open just in time to watch him drink all of your water, but this time you didn’t complain. You simply sighed and crossed your arms in front of your chest.
“I hurt him-”
“And?” Yoongi argued with a groan. “Stop blaming yourself for everything. We hate it if you do that. If Yeri wasn’t so freaking weak and had stuck to our agreement, this wouldn’t be happening right now.”
You shook your head and pressed your lips together. Yoongi didn’t understand, didn’t understand just what you had done and how much you had actually hurt Jungkook. In fact, none of your friends understood, understood why it wasn’t as easy as they seemed to think it was.
They hadn’t been there when you had told Jungkook you were going, hadn’t been there to witness him crumble apart in front of, hadn’t been there as his anger took over him and consumed him whole, hadn’t been there when Jungkook’s begs for this to be a joke turned into deafening screams and ultimately into bitter words.
“Out!” 
You flinched, flinched because Jungkook had never raised his voice withyou, had never looked at you like that. There was no warmth, no light, no love swimming in his eyes. All you could find was anger and pain, and you wished you could say you weren’t the reason for all of that.
His face contorted and hardened into something unreadable, something you had never seen before, and you wanted to soothe over every line, wanted to kiss them over and over again until they were gone. Even with the anger etched onto his face, Jungkook was painfully beautiful, heartbreakingly so.
“Please. Just let me explain, babe-”
“No!” Jungkook cut in and pointed at you, finger jabbing the air like it had wronged him and not you. Your heart rang in your ears and you were almost certain he could hear it too, hear it thumping in your chest. 
“Kook, please-”
“Do not call me ‘Kook’. I’m not fucking ‘Kook’ or ‘babe’ or even fucking ‘Jungkook’ to you. You’ve got no right to call me by my name anymore!”
A new wave of tears streamed down your face at his words. They pierced through you like bullets, hitting you in rapid succession and at the end, you were laying on the floor, on the brink of death.
“You’ve decided to- decided to leave me, no, us for your stupid adventure. You’ve fucking decided to break our promise! Remember our stupid fucking promise of forever?” Jungkook pressed through gritted teeth and took a step towards you, hands waving wildly around him. “You don’t get to say my name, don’t get to act like everything’s fucking fine and I’m your ‘Kook’ or ‘babe’ or whatever the fuck you call me after breaking it!”
You hiccuped and let your head hang as the realisation dawned on you that he was gone. He had slipped out of your reach and walked, no, ran away. He had put oceans and continents between you two, and there was no more asking him to come back anymore.
You knew then, he and you were done.
More curses slipped past Jungkook’s lips, but you couldn’t hear them, couldn’t hear the accusations he threw at you. For that, your heart was breaking and sobbing far too loudly in your chest.
You weren’t sure how much time passed, how long you stood there and cried your eyes out as he paced up and down his room, but by the time, you managed to lift your head, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees and hands folded together with his gaze stuck to the floor.
And you weren’t sure how much time passed, how long you stared at him until he opened his mouth again.
“I really really love you,” Jungkook mumbled through gritted teeth and you knew he wished he didn’t love you anymore.
You wanted to grab him, cup his face and whisper into his ear over and over again just how sorry you were, whisper into his ear until words stopped making sense and the stars rained from the darkened sky.
“I really do,” Jungkook scoffed, but tears spilled from his eyes, involuntarily and far too many. Too proud to cry in front of you now, Jungkook covered his face with his hand and sank his teeth into his bottom lip, but even then, he couldn’t silence the sobs and sniffs. They banged on the walls of his throat and bursted through his lips.
And you hated it, hated seeing him like this, hated seeing his entire body shake and tremble, hated seeing his face contort in pain, hated seeing the tears collect at his chin and drip to the floor, hated seeing his lips quiver uncontrollably, hated seeing him desperately try to keep it together.
You hated seeing Jungkook cry.
But he was, and all because of you.
You were to blame, to blame for the state Jungkook was in right now. You had inflicted that pain on him, had broken and shattered his heart, had made him cry.
“Please, just let me explain-”
“There’s nothing to explain, Y/N,” he said, a sob erupting from his lips again, and you shook your head, trying so desperately to say something, but your tongue was tied into a messy knot. You wanted to tell him that there was so much you wanted to say, so much that needed to be explained, but you couldn’t bring yourself to, couldn’t bring yourself to form the words necessary.
Slowly, Jungkook looked up to you, hand falling into his lap, and when your eyes met his, your heart raptured in your chest. His features were twisted in pain and agony as the tears scared his beautiful face.
“You’re leaving.” Jungkook whispered it into the silence like you didn’t know. 
“You’re leaving me.”
You closed your eyes at his words, shaking your head like you were about to disagree, but you couldn’t, couldn’t even bring yourself to make a single sound. 
The anger in Jungkook’s voice had dissipated into the air and been replaced by disappointment and hurt. And if you had to say which one was worse, Jungkook screaming at you or Jungkook simply looking at you with tears streaming down his face, you would choose the latter every fucking day.
Because without the anger and the screams to numb you, to silence your thoughts and mind, it was obvious, glaringly obvious. 
You had broken Jungkook.
“I hope you’re happy,” Jungkook continued, voice cracking in the worst way possible, and a deaf man could have heard that he was lying, could have heard the bitterness swinging in his words.
“I hope you’re happy knowing you’ve hurt me.”
“You don’t get it, Yoongs,” you mumbled quietly to yourself before looking at your hands. “None of you do.”
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You had always preferred game night over film night. You just always thought that it was so much more fun to play games than to sit in darkness and watch some film half of you didn’t watch anyway or had already watched. Your competitiveness and need to win certainly played into your preference of game night over film night. But right now, you would choose film night over game night any day, would never have another game night ever again if that meant you could switch to having a film night now instead.
You really had no idea what Yerim had been thinking when she had decided to draw lots to determine the teams. 
“So, we need a total of seven points to beat them, right? Both rounds?” Heejin asked you and you nodded, your heart racing more and more as you waited for the game to begin.
2 rounds of Taboo. 90 seconds to get through as many words as possible.
“You sure you don’t wanna be the one explaining? I’m sure you’re better at this than I am,” you said and Heejin shook her head at you.
“Trust me, I’m definitely worse than you,” she smiled. “If we wanna win, it’s best if Kook and you do the explaining.”
“Are you ready, Y/N?” Yerim asked you, her finger hovering above the start button, and you turned around to her before nodding. It was a complete lie, you weren’t ready, but you didn’t think you were ever going to be. 
You always got nervous right before you started playing a game, but this time, it was different, different because it mattered so much more if you won or not. Never had you wanted to win more, and the thought of possibly losing had your stomach churning. You couldn’t disappoint, disappoint him because you knew that he was just as competitive as you, if not more so.
“Go!”
You picked up the first card and scanned it.
Tattoos
Ink
Permanent
Skin
“Okay, uh,” you turned around and looked at Heejin and Jungkook, “they are like paintings or sketches.”
“Black and white paintings?” Heejin guessed and you shook your head, biting your lip as you thought of something else to say.
“Uh,” you tucked a strand behind your ear before looking at him, “ you always said you wanted them and they can be in any colour.”
“You always said you wanted them and they can be in any colour‘? What is she talking about?” Taehyung laughed at your poor attempt at describing the word ‘Tattoos’ and you started to panic even more.
“Stop guessing. You’re not on her team,” Yoongi said with a slap to his arm and Taehyung simply dismissed him with a wave of his hand, but he kept his mouth shut.
“Once you get them, they’re forever.”
“Jesus, Y/N, did you get worse at this?” Taehyung laughed and you could hear Yerim’s laugh mix with his. You couldn’t blame them though because you were really struggling to come up with a way to explain ‘Tattoos’.
“Why is Y/N describing and not Kook? Wasn’t he always better at this than her?” Yerim asked and you regretted not putting up more of a fight when Heejin had told Jungkook and you to do the explaining. 
You had always been better at guessing and Jungkook had always been the one better at explaining. You had your roles, but with Heejin on your team now and refusing to do the explaining, you had to step up.
“You got into this huge fight with your parents once because they didn’t like them- oh, you’ve got some now on your freaking hand!”
“Tattoos!” Jungkook exclaimed and you let out a squeal. A smile flashed across your lips before you nodded at him and picked up the next card, the previous card landing on the floor.
Valentine
 February 14
Red
Love 
“45 Seconds,” Yerim said and you turned to Heejin and Jungkook with wide eyes, quickly starting to explain.
“Okay, uh,” you said and tucked a strand behind your ear, brain trying to come up with a way to word this correctly. “It’s a holiday at the start of the year.”
“New Years?” Heejin said and you shook your head at her.
“Later.”
“What holiday is at the start of the year but not New Years?” Taehyung asked and once again, Yoongi slapped his arm, telling him not to guess.
“Easter?” Heejin said and you shook your head.
“30 Seconds,” Yerim interjected and you wanted to curse at her because this was really stressing you out.
“Fuck, uh,” you turned to Jungkook. “We always made fun of it because we thought it was just so commercialised.” You gestured wildly around yourself. “It’s for couples-”
“Oh, Valentine! February 14th-”
You cheered once more before picking up the next card, letting the other one fall to the floor once more.
Harry Potter
Film
Scar
Magic
“Uh, this is easy” you mumbled. “It’s a fictional character.”
“Sherlock Holmes? Iron Man?”
“No, let me finish first,” you shot back with urgency in your voice. “ He’s really famous-”
“Iron Man!”
“No, God, just let me finish!” you groaned and Jungkook sat back down a little more, lips pressing together to let you talk. Heejin smiled next to him and placed her hand on his knee, trying to calm him, but Jungkook had his eyes fixed on you, desperately trying to get that win.
“15 Seconds,” Yerim smiled, definitely enjoying the distress in your eyes far too much.
“Okay, uh, we can get this one,” you said, stumbling over your own words. 
“You can do, like, quizzes.”  You looked at Jungkook once more. “We did them too!” You gestured between him and you. “You got really pressed because you got Hufflepuff, but you wanted-”
“Oh, Harry Potter,” Jungkook said and snapped his fingers.
“Time’s up!” Yerim said and you dropped the card in your hand.
“Three points, right?” Heejin counted on her fingers and turned to Jungkook and you. 
You let out a long sigh, feeling the stress wash out of you a little because now, you got to do the part you were actually good at, guessing.
“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded as he got up and stretched, preparing himself for the next 90 seconds. “So, four points.”
You walked past Jungkook, slumping into the seat he had just sat in. Your heart was still beating way too fast and the adrenaline was pumping through your veins like a bullet train.
“We can do this, right?” Jungkook asked and turned back around, standing in the middle of the room. When you realised he was looking at you, talking to you, you could feel the heat creep up your neck. “You know, like we used to?”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” you muttered, far too embarrassed to respond properly. He blinked at you before nodding and walking up to Yerim, who was shuffling the cards.
“‘Like we used to’?” Heejin asked and turned to you with a furrow of her brows. You cursed Jungkook and slowly nodded.
“Yeah, uh, he and I were kinda always a team when we played Taboo,” you said before cleaning your throat and avoiding Heejin’s gaze as much as you could.
“Dream team,” Taehyung interjected and you rolled your eyes at him, leaning towards Heejin a little too slap his shoulder.
“‘Dream team’?” Heejin asked, but before you could answer, Yerim, thankfully, interrupted.
“Next round!” she announced and turned to Jungkook, nodding at him when he did. “Go.”
Immediately, Jungkook picked up a card and you turned around again, putting all of your focus on him and winning.
“So, this is something I want but it’s not a thing or object. It’s, like, alive.”
“Dog?” you started and he quickly shook his head. 
“Cat?” Heejin tried and before Jungkook could shake his head, you interrupted.
“No, he wants a dog, not a cat,” you mumbled, brows furrowing together as you thought about Jungkook’s words, trying to figure out what he was talking about until you got it. “Oh, a family!”
“Yes!” Jungkook grinned and gestured for you to think further. “Right, but that’s not it. When you have a family, you have-” 
“Kids?” You quirked a brow at him and Jungkook nodded.
“Okay, right, another word for kids is-?”
“Children!”
“Yes!” Jungkook cheered and grinned at you before throwing the card away and grabbing a new one. He read it and nodded to himself.
“It’s once a year, but not a holiday.”
“Not a holiday?” Yoongi mumbled quietly to himself even though he had told Taehyung not to guess.
“Say more,” you told him and Jungkook sighed, wrecking his brain before pointing at you.
“It’s your favourite day of the year and- You get a bunch of presents and, oh! We threw you a surprise-”
“Surprise party?”
“Yeah, but why did we-”
“My birthday! Is it birthday?”
Jungkook beamed at you and you mirrored him, beaming right back. Your heart was pounding in your chest, but now, it was out of excitement. You could practically taste the win on the tip of your tongue. 
“Okay, uh, this is hard,” Jungkook sighed after picking up the next card. He frowned before looking up. “It’s something you can eat.”
“Food.”
“Yeah, but that’s only the second word,” he said and gestured for you to think further again. “Like, ice cream-”
“Ice cream food? Food ice cream? Ice food cream?” you blurted all out, screaming one word after another, and Jungkook frowned at you.
“‘Ice food cream’? Maybe you’re not that good at guessing,” Jungkook laughed with a shake of your head, and you rolled your eyes at him, mumbling underneath your breath that it had been a long time, but your words fell on deaf ears. “No, it’s not ice food cream. It’s something you shouldn’t eat much of.”
“Sugar?” you guessed, but Jungkook shook his head at you.
“45 seconds,” Yerim said and Jungkook and you looked at each other, eyes wide. The need to win sparkled in both of your eyes and quickly, panic rushed through you, replacing the excitement.
“Say more-”
“There isn’t more. You’ve just gotta think- food is the second word!”
“But what about ice cream? Why did you-”
“Ice cream is-”
“Cold?”
Jungkook groaned, “No, I don’t mean cold.”
His brows furrowed together as he wrecked his brain before he thought of something and pointed at you again. “Okay, uh, we used to go to this one place all the time! Remember our midnight dinners? And the category of food that they sell is what we’re looking for.”
“Oh! McDonalds!” You snapped your fingers. “Junk Food!”
When Jungkook nodded at you, you squealed, watching him turn around and pick up the next card.
“If they get this next point, they won, right?” Yoongi asked Taehyung, but you answered.
“Yeah, we beat you then, losers,” you grinned and Jungkook laughed at your words before he turned to the card in his hand, scanning it.
“They’re really good at this, aren’t they?” Heejin asked Taehyung and leaned into him to make sure neither Jungkook nor you could hear her. Not that you two would have anyway, far too focused on the game at hand to pay her any attention, completely forgetting that she was on your team too.
“Yeah, both are incredibly competitive, so they work well together. Like, they practically always know what the other is thinking,” Taehyung mumbled as he watched you shuffle in your seat, not noticing the way Heejin looked at him at all.
You raised your brows when you saw Jungkook freeze up upon reading the card. His jaw didn’t go slack nor did his eyes go wide, but you could see, could see right away that something was wrong.
“Uh? What’s wrong?” you started, but even then Jungkook didn’t look up, eyes fixed on the card in front of him. Slowly, the others seemed to notice too, heads turning to see a frozen Jungkook. 
“20 Seconds.”
You exchanged a glance with Taehyung, but he shrugged at you, and so, you looked at Yerim for some help as she stood right next to Jungkook. She squinted as she tried to read the card herself.
“Oh, shit,” she blurted out and pressed her hand on her mouth when she realised that she had spoken without meaning to. She looked at Jungkook, mouth opening as she struggled to decide to say something or not, but then he snapped out of it.
Jungkook glanced at Yerim’s phone in her hand and looked up to you, eyes locking with yours like before, but this time, it was different. You immediately felt that there was a shift and you had a feeling that it was bad.
“It’s, like, a place you could say.” Jungkook’s voice quivered the tiniest bit, but you noticed immediately. You raised your brows and leaned even more forward, as if you could coax the word out of Jungkook that way.
“Really big,” he continued and looked at you like you should know what he was talking about now. When you furrowed your brows at you, he sighed, “You were there for the past four years.”
“Oh.”
Your entire face dropped as the realisation dawned on you and you sat back. You felt Taehyung eyeing you with worry etched onto his face, about to say something, but Yoongi put his hand on his shoulder and shook his head. Only Heejin was more lost than ever, but you paid no one any attention, far too shocked to say anything. 
All of the memories, all of the memories connected to America and all of the pain it had caused not only you but Jungkook when you had left to go there, hit you so hard you feared whiplash. 
“5.”
You tried to say something, tried to give the answer because you knew it and you really didn’t want to lose, but somehow you just couldn’t. Your voice was gone, had disappeared. The word didn't hurt you, but you knew it hurt him, and that was one thing you didn’t want to do ever again.
“4.”
Jungkook and you kept eye contact as Yerim counted the seconds and you watched his brows furrow together and his lips press together in a thin line. He was debating internally, trying to figure out what he wanted, if the win was worth it, worth the memories and pain.
“3.”
Your eyes were fixed on him and when you saw Jungkook sigh a little and nod at you, you knew right away what he was telling you.
“2.”
You nodded at him too.
“America-”
“1.”
And even though Jungkook had told you to say it, the guilt still bubbled up and formed icicles in your lungs, piercing tiny holes in them, and you could feel the blood slowly filter in, suffocating you.
Jungkook and you kept staring at each other, and you should look away because there was no reason for both of you to be still looking at each other, but you couldn’t. 
“Does it still count?” Heejin asked, breaking the silence, and looked at Yerim.
Yerim’s eyes were trained on Jungkook and you, and only when you two tore your gazes away and looked at her, did she speak up. 
“Yeah, it counts.”
Jungkook and you whipped your heads around, looking at each other with big eyes. For a second, both of you didn’t know how to react, but then, the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile. Your lips split apart into a big grin and squeals and cheers escaped you two. You jumped up and Jungkook ran towards you, hands held up for high-fives. You reciprocated it and both of you beamed at each other.
“We won!” 
Jungkook laughed at your words and nodded, eyes softening as he watched the joy spread on your face.
“Yeah, we did.”
His words were soft, incredibly soft. A whispered secret almost. 
“Yeah, we did,” Jungkook repeated with a nod and a smile. “We did.”
You looked at Jungkook and even though you should look away again, you couldn’t. You two were locked into each other’s eyes, locked into each other’s eyes like it was just Jungkook and you in this room, in this world, in this universe, like you were falling in love with one another all over again.
And for a moment, it truly felt like that, felt like it was just him and you in this room, in this world, in this universe.
But then, his gaze flickered to Heejin.
Your eyes grew wide at the same time and your smiles almost slipped off your faces before you both turned to Heejin and let out another round of cheers and squeals.
“We won, Heejin!” Jungkook said and you held up your hand for a high-five. She blinked at both of you and you thought she was going to ask you two what the fuck that just was, confront you on forgetting her for the second half of the game, but then a smile split apart on her face.
“Yeah, isn’t that great?” she smiled and gave you a high-five.
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After another round of Taboo and a few rounds of Charades and Pictionary (which you all won), you were exhausted, definitely spread thin. The adrenaline got to you, but so did actively avoiding your friends’ stares and trying not to get too swept up in the games and forgetting about Heejin again. So, when no one paid attention to you, busy with cleaning up and preparing for the next game, Werewolf, you snuck away.
“Best part of Yeri’s tiny flat, isn’t it?”
You didn’t turn around at Yoongi’s voice.
“Truly is.”
Yerim had a tiny flat, but she had a balcony. It was tucked behind the kitchen and, you had almost not seen it when you had walked in and looked for some peace and quiet. Yerim’s fridge blocked the glass door a little because, after all, the flat was tiny and so was the kitchen. 
The railing of the small balcony was lined with flowers, flowers that Yerim had texted you far too much about, flowers that had gone from blooming to dying to almost blooming to what they are now, almost dying.
Yerim had sent you pictures of the view when she had first moved in, but standing on here yourself was different. Truth be told, the view wasn’t the best, wasn’t breathtaking, nothing compared to the view you had gotten to enjoy at the restaurant, but it was enough to ground you, calm you down and give you the sense of peace and quiet you had looked for.
“You okay?”
You snapped out of your thoughts and looked at Yoongi, offering him a smile as you nodded.
“Yeah,” you said.
“That’s nice,” he hummed before leaning against the railing with his arms, careful not to hurt the flowers. “You sure, though?”
Yoongi peered up at you and you thought about his words for a moment. You had truly thought that this would be worse, that it would be awkward and weird as hell, but you had to say it wasn’t. When Jungkook turned out to be your partner (You had Yerim to thank for that. How was drawing lots to determine the teams a good idea?), you had truly thought that things were only going to go down from there. To your surprise, they didn’t.
There had been some tension between Jungkook and you, but the moment you picked up the first card and desperately tried to explain ‘Tattoos’ to him, both of you completely forgot about it, and instead worked together to win.
So, with a smile, you mirrored Yoongi’s stance, resting your elbows on the railing like him and leaning forward before letting your cheek fall into your open palm and turning to him.
“Yes, I’m sure, Yoongs,” you said. “Thanks for asking.”
Yoongi blinked at you before chuckling quietly to himself and turning his head away, eyes watching the sun dip below the horizon.
“How are you though? You okay?” you asked and watched as Yoongi let out a long and heavy sigh, eyes staying on the horizon.
“I hate this. So, wouldn’t say I’m okay.”
“You do? Sure you’re not hating this because you’re losing constantly?” you teased.
“Yes, Y/N, I do and, yes, I’m sure it’s not because I’m constantly losing. I’m not Kook or you. I don’t need to win. I don’t care that much,” Yoongi said with a roll of his eyes and another sigh. “You realise how dumb all of this is, right?”
You looked at Yoongi, raising your brows at him.
“We’re only doing this so you can act annoyed with Tae and then you two can break up or whatever, right?” he asked you and you nodded. “And that’s what’s dumb about this.”
You tilted your head at him, eyes narrowing as you tried to figure out what exactly he thought was dumb about your plan.
Yoongi sighed once more. “You realise you don’t owe Heejil, or whatever her name is, an explanation, right? Fucking just text her that you’re broken up. Or, you know, better yet, don’t tell her because, again, you don’t owe her anything. She isn’t a friend of ours. She’s just the girl your ex and our dumbass friend is dating.” 
The annoyance was dripping from his voice as you continued staring at him. “Or, like, make up some story and the next time she sees you, just tell her that. You think she’s really gonna question that? She doesn’t know when you or Tae are lying.”
You blinked at Yoongi because how had none of you thought of that before? He was right. You didn’t owe Heejin any sort of explanation, but here you were, meeting up to put on a whole show (that you didn’t even put on) to give her some sort of explanation.
Yoongi seemed to be able to hear his words click in your mind because he scoffed at you. “You guys are fucking dumbasses.”
Now, you scoffed too, scoffed at yourself because, once again, Yoongi was right. You were dumbasses and you couldn’t believe neither Taehyung nor Jungkook nor you thought of this.
“Shit.”
Yoongi chuckled and shook his head at you, the corners of his lips turned downwards.
“Yeah, shit.”
You pressed your lips together as you let Yoongi’s words fully sink in with you, dawn on you and float away.
“Hey, guys.”
Yoongi and you turned around at Yerim’s voice, straightening up in an instant. You watched her slide the glass door open, a bowl of chips pressed to her chest as she stepped out.
“What are you two doing out here?” she asked with a tilt of her head.
“Oh, we-”
“Hiding,” Yoongi stated like it wouldn’t get you two in trouble and you whipped your head around to him, hand hitting his arm as you fixed him with a glare.
“Yoongs,” you growled, but he just laughed a little and rolled his eyes at you.
“Hiding?” Yerim questioned with a raise of her brows and tapped her foot like a mother about to scold her children.
“Yeah, hiding,” Yoongi continued and gripped the railing behind him, leaning against it. “We didn’t want to subject ourselves to that bullshit out there any longer. It’s really weird out there.”
“Yoongs, don’t say that. Yeri put effort into today. It’s not that weird-”
“Nope, Yoongs is right,” Yerim sighed and uncrossed her arms, tension washing out of her in an instant. She took a handful of chips and shoved them into her mouth, and as she chewed, a pout formed on her lips. “It’s weird as fuck outside. I don’t know what we’re doing really. Like, we’re playing games and everything and I guess it’s fun or whatever, but something’s just kinda off.”
Yerim shook her head and Yoongi grabbed a couple of chips as he chuckled at her words.
“Told you,” he said and you shoved him away when he grinned into your face, not appreciating the smugness. 
“I mean,” Yerim started again before eating another handful of the chips, “you’re right. Heejin’s nice, but I honestly think she makes things weird-”
“You think it’s Heejin?” Yoongi laughed with a shake of his head before pointing at you. “It’s Y/N and Kook. They’re the ones making it weird.”
“Excuse you? How am I making it weird?” you asked with big eyes, swatting Yoongi’s hand away,
“Please,” Yoongi scoffed with a raise of his brow. “How are you not making it weird? Kook and you are totally in your own world. It’s like you two are dating again, and we’re all, like, six wheeling.”
You scoffed and stared at Yoongi with your jaw open. Your hands balled up into fists at your side and you shook your head at him.
“Bullshit,” you said. “It’s not like that at all.”
“Sure, keep telling yourself that,” Yoongi said, enjoying the way you got all worked up. And before you could stop him, he had placed his hand against your forehead. “Woah, your face’s literally heating up.”
You shoved his hand away, lips pressing together into a line as you shook your head at him and waved him off.
“Bullshit,” you pressed through gritted teeth. “It’s just the sun. It’s summer. It’s hot.”
“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi scoffed at your reasoning, and you were about to curse at him when you realised that you getting worked up was exactly what he wanted.
You turned to Yerim for backup, but she simply stared into her bowl of chips and shoved her face with it, actively avoiding your gaze. A scoff slipped past your lips and you mumbled curses aimed at Yoongi underneath your breath, deliberately ignoring the fact that it was definitely not hot enough today for your face to warm up like that.
Yoongi was ridiculous, definitely ridiculous. Jungkook and you just get carried away when you play games. You were competitive, nothing more. 
Your heart definitely only beat so hard and fast in your chest because the adrenaline was pumping through your veins, and you were only so incredibly happy about winning a stupid game of Taboo because it had been a long time since you had played against your friends, making the wins even sweeter.
It was nothing, nothing like Yoongi had said.
Jungkook and you were acting nothing like you two used to when you dated.
“Uh.”
All three of you looked up at the interruption, and your breath hitched in your throat when you saw him. He stood there, gripping the handle of the glass door as he awkwardly shifted from one foot to another. A tiny smile pulled on the corners of his lips while he looked between Yerim and Yoongi, but not you.
“Hey, Kook,” Yerim said and did this terribly awkward dance with Jungkook as she tried to step away and make some space for him, but there was none left, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. The fact that you were upset just seconds ago was completely forgotten.
“Sorry,” you mumbled between laughs when Yerim turned around to glare at you, and you had to bite your lip to hide the grin that tugged on the corners of your lips. 
Yoongi eyed you with narrowed eyes before he shook his head and sighed. He kicked himself off the railing, and his hand landed on Yerim’s shoulder, stopping her from continuing this terrible dance with Jungkook and drawing her attention to him.
“Yeri, didn’t you want to show me this one thing that you got recently?” 
“What?” Yerim furrowed her brows at him and it took Yoongi raising his brow at her for her to get it. An uneasy and tense smile stretched across her lips before she nodded her head, far too vigorously. 
“Ah, yes, right. That, uh, thing. I- I remember. Let’s check it out, yeah?” Yerim laughed, and you frowned at her words, not believing her even for a second.
Your gaze drilled into Yoongi to ask him what the hell he was thinking he was doing, but he was avoiding your gaze expertly. And when you looked over to Yerim, she had essentially buried her face into the bowl of chips, and you wanted to throw it over your shoulder and demand her to look at you. 
Without really meaning to, your gaze travelled to Jungkook. When you looked at him, his eyes were already on you. His expression was unreadable and you didn’t know what he was thinking, but you knew that it was a bad idea for Yerim and Yoongi to leave you alone with him, knew that you didn’t want them to walk away. Because what were Jungkook and you? Back to being friends? Was it okay to laugh and tease each other now? Or was Jungkook still mad at you?
But before you could say something, Yerim and Yoongi had walked away, had left you standing alone on the balcony with Jungkook right in front of you.
He didn’t step out, didn’t join you on the balcony, and instead chose to stand at the glass door with his hand still gripping the handle. It was like he was ready to slam the door shut and walk away if things started to get a little too much for him, if this conversation didn’t turn out the way he wanted it to.
And you gnawed on your lip as he stared at you, stared at you like he had done before when you two had won your first round of Taboo. Just before the silence got too unbearable to handle and the tension too thick for you to breathe in, Jungkook opened his mouth.
“I missed you.”
Your heart stopped in your chest, stopped in your chest like maybe if it stopped, time would stop and you would get to enjoy the moment a little longer. You had no idea how long you simply blinked at Jungkook, but by the time you finally managed to get your thoughts together and properly look at him, he was shifting from one foot to another with his knuckles white around the grip of the glass door and his eyes dancing around, looking at everything except you.
“What?”
When Jungkook spoke up again, there was the slightest quiver in his voice. The slightest quiver that told you just how nervous and uncertain he was, how much he feared you laughing into his face.
“I meant it when I said it. I missed you.”
It didn’t sound like a joke, didn’t sound like he was messing with you at all, but it still took your brain seemingly forever to comprehend his words, to realise that he was completely and utterly serious.
“You did?” you asked in a whisper and Jungkook’s gaze found the floor, a breathy chuckle escaping him before he nodded.
“Yeah, I did.”
You blinked at him before your lips curled up into the softest smile.
“I did too.”
Jungkook raised his head and looked at you, and you watched the corners of his lips curl up into the most beautiful and dazzling smile. This time when he smiled at you, it was nothing like the smile he had given you when you had sat in his living room or when you had both realised you had won. No, this smile was different. It was the smile you had dreamt of every night, was the smile you had remembered every morning, was the smile you had longed to see on his lips again ever since you had first seen it.
It was the smile Jungkook showed you when he had whispered the three words for the first time, 
“I love you.”
And so, your heart surged in your chest, rose above and beyond, reached the sky and the stars, touched the sun and moon, and when she fell back down, she didn’t land in your hands. No, she landed in his hands.
“I missed having you around, you know,” Jungkook started, voice still quivering as he spoke. “I missed being able to call you up or text you and talk about everything and anything until we both just fell asleep. I missed showing up at your doorstep and going out for our midnight dinners with you. I missed laughing at other couples for stressing over Valentine before going out ourselves and being one of those stupid cheesy couples we made fun of.
“I missed having my best friend around.”
Jungkook stepped out on the balcony and closed the glass door behind him, hands at his side. There was a heavy sigh, and instantly, you knew. Slowly, his gaze met yours and he stared into your eyes with that look, that look that broke you.
“Why did you have to leave me?”
You sank your teeth into your lip and wrung your hands together, chest rising and falling far too quickly as you ran out of breath simply thinking of the answer. There was so much weighing on you, so many things you wanted to say, but couldn’t say, couldn’t because you couldn’t handle it, not even years later.
“You know why,” you breathed out, eyes searching the floor for words, for words that would escape you.
“Please, tell me again,” Jungkook asked and you wanted to ask him why he wanted to know, why he so desperately wanted to bring it all up again when he and you had done such a good job tiptoeing around it before.
“I-” You shook your head at yourself and you thought that maybe Jungkook would interrupt you and tell you he had changed his mind and didn’t want to hear it again if you paused, but his silence demanded for an answer. 
So, you gave him one, one that was worded badly and didn’t even begin to explain why you left, but it was an answer, the most you could do right now.
“I- it was my dream,” you managed to croak out and you expected a scoff, but Jungkook simply looked at you, waiting for you to continue. “It was my dream to study in America. So, I did it. I- I fulfilled my dream.”
The quietest sigh escaped Jungkook and even though you could barely hear it, you felt your heart tumble in his hands at the sound of, felt her start to slip through his fingers.
“Have I ever told you what my dream was?”
You looked up at his question  and shook your head, unable to make a single sound, not to mention say something.
Jungkook smiled to himself before he wandered over to you, feet stopping right where Yoongi had stood, next to you. And once again, you noticed the gap, the gap between him and you, the gap that seemed to never really close.
“I’ve had it since the start of high school, but unlike you, I didn’t fulfill it,” Jungkook started, eyes gazing into the sky. “I still want it and I do think I’m gonna fulfill it one day, but I don’t think I’m gonna do it the way I thought I would.”
Jungkook shook his head and you were really not sure how to process his words, or what he was trying to tell you. 
“It’s stupid and childish, I guess, but I really thought I would fulfill it, fulfill it the way I had dreamt of.” Jungkook laughed to himself before he fell quiet again.
Slowly, he turned to you, eyes glazing over as he looked at you, looked at you with his incredibly beautiful eyes. You could see the warmth, the light, the love in them, but there seemed to be something else swimming in his pupils, and you hated it when you realised what it was. 
Sadness.
You bit on your tongue as you watched the wind blow through Jungkook’s fluffy hair and mess it all up, and even then, Jungkook was still breathtakingly gorgeous. And with the sun going down behind you, the most beautiful and heartbreaking halo was cast upon him, surrounding him, hugging him.
“You were my dream, Y/N.”
Your heart didn’t fall to the ground and shatter into pieces because she tumbled too much in Jungkook’s hands. She fell to the ground and shattered into pieces because Jungkook didn’t hold on tight enough, because he couldn’t hold on tight enough.
“You and me, forever. Together. A house, a kid or two, maybe a dog. Really, anything you wanted. That was my dream,” Jungkook whispered, words slipping off his tongue quietly and slowly, like it was a secret, a secret meant to be only shared between him and you.
The corners of Jungkook’s lips curled up into the saddest smile you had ever seen when he continued, “I thought we were going to be together and grow old. I truly thought one day I would get the pleasure and honour of watching you walk down the aisle.”
Jungkook raised his hand and for a moment, it seemed like he was going to cup your face, seemed like he was going to stroke your cheek, but then, he hesitated. It was like he remembered, remembered then that you were not like that anymore, were not dating anymore.
And so, Jungkook shook his head at himself and curled his hand into a tight fist, knuckles turning a painful white before he let his hand drop and swing by his side. It was like if he didn’t curl his hand into a tight enough fist, he would lose and cup your face, stroke your cheek anyway.
“I really thought you were my dream.”
There was no malice in Jungkook’s voice as he spoke. He wasn’t trying to make you feel bad or trying to hurt you. He was simply trying to be truthful, but the truth was ugly and terrible and neither of you liked it very much. But at least, the truth didn’t hurt Jungkook, it only hurt you, only stabbed you in the chest and asked you where your goddamn heart was, only cursed at you for leaving Jungkook, the one boy who had loved you more than anything else in this world.
“Do you regret it?”
You hated that question, hated it so much because, fuck, you didn’t know. You didn’t know if you regretted it, if you regretted leaving Jungkook. You regretted that he and you broke up, regretted the way you two broke up, but did that mean you automatically regretted going to America? Did that mean that going to America was the wrong choice? 
And even though you asked yourself these questions, you didn’t want the answers, didn’t want to know them because, fuck, you were afraid of them, afraid to realise that you regretted both and you had fucked up your chance of true and lasting love with Jungkook and spent all of this time, all these years in a foreign country without your friends and family for nothing.
You lowered your head and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to keep your skull together as it threatened to split open.
In the silence, Jungkook’s steps were loud, ringing in your ears, deafening. And you contorted your face and bit on your lip when you heard Jungkook slide the glass door open, a heavy sigh slipping from his lips before he spoke up, mustering up the best smile he could,
“We’re still gonna bully Yoongs for bullying us, right?”
You chuckled because how could you not? Of course, Jungkook could still make you laugh. It was a sad chuckle, but it was a chuckle no one else could have ever elicited from you.
You lifted your head  and peered at Jungkook over your shoulder, peered at him even though it hurt you to. He was just too beautiful to not look at.
“Yeah, we’ll still bully Yoongs for bullying us.”
You almost didn’t see the way the corners of Jungkook’s lips curled up into something that resembled a smile, almost didn’t see it with the tears swimming in your eyes, blurring your vision.
“Amazing.”
Jungkook nodded at you, fingers tapping the glass door before he turned around and walked away. And even though you shouldn’t, you watched him, watched him slip away more and more, watched him walk away from you.
You turned back around and only realised then that the sun had almost completely dipped below the horizon. The sky was painted an incredibly mellow and sorrowful orange, and even with your heart shattered on the floor and guilt leaving gaping holes in your chest, you had to smile.
And with that smile on your lips, the tears rolled down your cheeks, sparkling in the sunlight as you let them flow, flow because you didn’t see a reason to wipe them away. Sometimes it was good to just cry, let yourself feel.
“Tell me you’re not crying.”
His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, but you heard them. You pressed your lips together at his words because, of course, he would also come out to talk to you. You really should have expected it, should have expected it because he was simply that great.
“Well, guess you gotta give me a second then,” you said and rubbed on your cheeks, quickly wiping away the tears you knew were going to have his blood boiling and anger unfurling in his stomach.
“Y/N,” Taehyung sighed as he stepped out on the balcony, glass door clicking shut behind you as his hand gripped your elbow and turned you around. 
“What did he say?” You shook your head, smiling at him as much as possible, but your smile did nothing to soothe the deep line between Taehyung’s brow, did nothing to loosen the grip he had around your elbow.
“Tell me. I don’t care if he’s my friend, he’s-”
“No, stop,” you interrupted with a shake of your head and placed your hands on his shoulder, lips splitting into a grin because truly, Taehyung was the greatest, the greatest friend you could have ever wished or asked for. “It’s nothing. He didn’t say anything.”
You knew with the way Taehyung was eyeing you that he didn’t believe you, didn’t believe you for a single second, but you also knew that you could spend hours trying to convince him otherwise and he still wouldn’t believe you.
“You sure you don’t need me to beat him up a little?”
You laughed. “You think you can beat him up?”
Taehyung scoffed at your words and tried his hardest to look offended, but even he had to smile a little. 
“I’d try for you,” he said and you laughed again, shaking your head from left to right. The thought of a beaten up Taehyung popping right into your head.
“Let’s be honest here, he would just beat you up. No offence.”
Now, Taehyung laughed as well, laughed because he knew you were right. And for a moment, both of you only smiled at each other. For a moment, things seemed great and like he wouldn’t bring it up again that you had just been crying.
But just like a wise man once had said, great things always have to come to an end. 
“You shouldn’t feel guilty.”
Taehyung’s smile disappeared and your hands slid off his shoulder. You sighed, knowing exactly what he was talking about even though he didn’t specify. 
You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths before humming and peeling your eyes open, head cocking to the side.
“Well, I also shouldn’t stay up so late and get more sleep, but here I am.” Your attempt of humour wasn’t well received at all. Taehyung didn’t even fake a smile at you, and you quickly let yours slip away, realising the weight of the situation and just how serious he was.
“Y/N, I mean it. You shouldn’t feel guilty,” Taehyung said, stressing every word of his last sentence like he wanted to drill it into your head, like he wanted for you to remember it, like he wanted to tattoo it into your skin so you would never forget. 
“It’s not that easy,” you said in a quiet whisper and Taehyung pursed his lips, hands burying into his pockets as he suppressed the sigh from slipping.
“But it’s not like you try either, right? Not like you try to free yourself from all of that guilt,” Taehyung argued and you almost groaned because, once again, he showed you that he had no idea.
“Taehyung, it’s really not that easy. I can’t just wake up and say ‘Well, it’s his fault that he got hurt-’”
“That’s not what I’m asking from you. Yes, you can’t wake up and say that, but you can wake up and say ‘It sucks that Jungkook got hurt by me leaving and was unable to properly forgive me for not telling him earlier, but aside from that I didn’t do anything wrong because I simply chased my dream.’. I’m not asking you to wake up and be all ‘Jungkook can suck a dick.’. That’d be ridiculous, but I’m asking you to stop blaming yourself.”
You tore your gaze away and crossed your arms in front of your chest as you suddenly realised how mesmerising Yerim’s flowers were.
“It’s trying, trying to feel less guilty. That’s what I’m asking from you. And I realise it’s a process, but for the love of God, can you start it?” Taehyung said and tried to get you to look at him again, but you whipped your head around. 
“None of you understand,” you whispered and Taehyung scoffed, hands running through his hair as he tried not to snap.
“But we do!” Taehyung groaned and you turned around to look at him, ready to shut him up and tell him how exactly he was wrong, but he continued, “You seriously think that Yoongs or Yeri or I weren’t hurt by the news of you leaving? You seriously think that we weren’t mad too? You seriously think it was easy for us to go to the airport and wish you well? No!”
Taehyung gestured wildly around himself, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath, as he tried not to shake you and yell into your face to wake the fuck up.
“It wasn’t. It sucked because while, yes, none of us dated you, we still loved you,” Taehyung said, leaning forward to stress his words. “We were hanging out every day for four years, spending every minute together, and then suddenly, at the start of our last summer, you tell us you’re going to America?”
You swallowed heavily and bit on your tongue.
“It wasn’t easy and it fucking sucked, but we still wanted the best for you, still wanted you to go because we knew just how much you wanted to and how much you had worked for it. You deserved it, truly,” Taehyung said, voice growing soft as he calmed down a little. 
“It was why we did go to the airport with you and wished you well,” Taehyung spat out and for a moment, he stopped, paused and put his hands on his hips, eyes piercing through yours as you struggled to hold his gaze.
“Do you realise that you haven’t said his name?”
You blinked at Taehyung, unable to say anything as a lump lodged itself into your throat, growing bigger and bigger with every word that left him.
“I don’t think you’ve said ‘Jungkook’ or ‘Kook’ even once except for that time when we first saw Kook in the restaurant,” Taehyung said and you really thought he wouldn’t realise. “You feel so guilty you can’t even say his name. It’s fucking ridiculous.”
You uncrossed your arms and let them slip to your side, eyes darting across the floor as you tried to find your words, but you couldn’t.
“And what hurts and frustrates me the most aside from the fact that you will not recognise that your guilt is, in fact, ridiculous, is that Kook treats you like shit. And he’s so rude to you even though you go out of your way to fucking dice his cucumbers, even though you and I are fake dating for him, even though you organised this entire thing to break up with me so Heejin will never find out that all of this is a lie and you’re in actuality Kook’s ex.”
Taehyung was heaving at the end, chest rising and falling as the world spilled from his lips like an overflowing bucket. He levelled you with a gaze and a few seconds passed by before he spoke up again. But this time he wasn’t on the edge of yelling, this time his voice wasn’t dripping of urgency and frustration, this time he was calm.
“Look, I’m not saying that you did nothing wrong and that Kook has no right to be mad at you at all.” You pressed your lips together. “You did just leave, did just apply for that scholarship without telling us beforehand. That sucked, and you shouldn’t have done that. You should have at least told him.”
Taehyung ran a hand through his hair as he gazed off into the sky, eyes squinting when he looked right into the disappearing sun.
“But it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for him to act the way he does. You’ve both fucked up, but it’s been years.”
You leaned against the railing and let out a long sigh, eyes wandering to Taehyung. He offered you a smile and while you felt the corners of your lips quiver and your lungs ache, you smiled back at him. 
“You two obviously have a lot to work through,” Taehyung said and you threw your head back into your neck, gaze finding the sky.
“Where do I start?”
And without missing a beat, Taehyung answered,
“Start by forgiving yourself.”
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When Taehyung came home that night after dropping you off, he found Jungkook in the kitchen, McDonalds bag sitting on the dining table.
“Got anything for me?” Taehyung asked as he made his way over to Jungkook, sitting down opposite of him and crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Jungkook didn’t respond or look at Taehyung, simply putting down his burger on the wrapper that functioned as a makeshift plate before rummaging through the brown bag and tossing a cheeseburger at Taehyung.
“You took Heejin home?” Taehyung asked as he peeled the wrapper away, wondering how Jungkook had made it home before him when he had been at McDonalds before. 
“Uh, she insisted on going home herself. Called her an uber,” Jungkook mumbled between bites and Taehyung stopped unwrapping his burger for a moment to eye him before nodding and continuing. 
“I’m sure everything’s fine,” Taehyung said, trying to make Jungkook feel better, but he shrugged and didn’t really react. 
Interpreting Jungkook’s silence as him not wanting to talk, Taehyung didn’t say anything more and focused on the food in front of him, biting into his burger that was disgustingly cold now, but after the night he had, any food was welcomed, even if it tasted of artificial flavouring and left his throat dry.
And for the next few minutes, Jungkook and he sit in silence, eating. At one point, Jungkook reached for his second burger, tossing Taehyung another one even though he hadn’t finished his nor asked for one. Two bites into his new burger, Jungkook paused and stared at some point in front of him, just not at Taehyung.
“She broke up with me.”
Taehyung looked up, but Jungkook kept his eyes trained in front of him.
“Heejin broke up with me.”
A second passed before Taehyung put down his burger and straightened up. He wasn’t surprised because Yoongi had been right when he had told you that Jungkook and you had been in another world. A blind man could have seen that there was something between Jungkook and you.
“You okay?” Taehyung offered and forgot that he was, deep down, still mad at Jungkook, forgot that Jungkook still made him want to rip out his own hair. 
Jungkook scoffed before dropping his burger. It landed halfway on the wrapper and halfway not, but he didn’t care enough to adjust it. He leaned back and covered his face with his hands, fingers digging into his eyes.
Taehyung was about to make his way over to Jungkook, about to pull him into his arms because he was clearly not doing well, but before he could even move a single centimetre, Jungkook’s hands fell away and he looked up to him.
“Yeah, I am.”
It sounded like Jungkook couldn’t believe himself, like he was angry and frustrated with himself for being able to say that he was okay and mean it, like he wanted to be the opposite, crying and bawling instead.
“I’m okay,” Jungkook said, head shaking from left to right as he furrowed his brows and scoffed at himself. “How am I okay? How am I okay when Heejin, my fucking girlfriend, just broke up with me?”
Taehyung blinked at Jungkook, knowing exactly that he needed to rant right now, needed to get all of the words out.
“She told me to get her an uber and after I did, she turned to me and said that she thought we should break up,” Jungkook recounted, eyes unblinking. “Just like that. We broke up just like that.”
He rubbed his eyes and groaned before snapping out of it and looking back at Taehyung.
“I- I didn’t even fight her on it when she told me to call her an uber. I just did. I did as she told me to, but- but as her boyfriend, I shouldn’t have, right? I should have insisted on driving her home, but I didn’t. I- I knew I should have. I was screaming at myself to, but I just couldn’t. And when she told me we should break up-” Jungkook paused and gestured around like that would finish his sentence. “I, again, didn’t fight her on it.”
A bitter scoff escaped him and Taehyung watched Jungkook shake his head at himself, obviously confused by himself. “Instead of insisting to talk about it or whatever, I just went to fucking McDonalds.” Jungkook punched the bag and it tipped over, slow and sad. “I went to McDonalds! Can you fucking believe? Instead of driving home my girlfriend or fighting for my relationship, I just said okay and went to get food at the shittest place ever.”
Jungkook gestured around himself wildly, hands flailing around like he was drowning and trying to gasp for air. His voice grew in volume and the desperation and frustration seemed to thicken more and more, lacing his every word as he rambled on.
“And it all just doesn’t make sense because it’s not like I don’t care. I do. I do care about Heejin, but it’s just- it’s just-” Jungkook shook his head and pressed his lips into a thin line as he scanned the room for the rest of his sentence. “I just don’t know anymore. I don’t even know why she broke up with me.”
When Jungkook looked at Taehyung, it hurt him to see the frustration swimming in his eyes, hurt him to see how helpless he was. And so, Taehyung sighed and sat up even straighter, gaze levelling Jungkook’s.
“Do you love Heejin?”
“She’s my girlfriend.”
“Was,” Taehyung corrected with a raise of a finger. “But that doesn’t answer my question, Jungkook-” 
Jungkook furrowed his brows at him and shook his head at him.
“What? It does answer your question,” Jungkook said, staring at Taehyung like he had just said the most ridiculous thing ever. “She is- was, whatever, my girlfriend, so, of course, I love her.”
Taehyung scrunched up his nose at Jungkook’s answer and slid his burger to the side to lean forward and be a little closer to Jungkook, needing to look right into his eyes as he said the next word.
“Do you, though?”
Taehyung didn’t give Jungkook a chance to answer.
“Do you seriously love Heejin or do you assume you do because she was your girlfriend?”
Taehyung eyed Jungkook as the words sank into the air and dawned on him, as they replayed over and over again in his head, as they started to push through everything inside him and reached his heart.
“Jungkook, don’t you think there was a reason why Heejin and you had been dating for almost six months and we hadn’t met her yet? Don’t you think there was a reason why you never told her about Y/N?”
He looked at Taehyung, his gaze hazy and clouded with questions. Jungkook had no idea, had no idea why Heejin had broken up with him. She had simply smiled at him and wished him well before getting into the uber, no reason. But he also hadn’t tried to stop her from getting inside and demanded an answer. He had just accepted it with a nod and gotten into his car.
But now, with Taehyung looking at him, gaze digging deep into his, he started to think, started to replay the events of this evening, started to dissect every interaction today. 
He thought about how you all had played Taboo, thought about how you had smiled at him when he had gotten the first word, thought about how you had essentially beamed at him when you two had gotten closer and closer to the win, thought about how you had squealed and jumped up when you had realised you had won, thought about how beautiful you had looked standing on the balcony with the wind blowing through your hair and the sun highlighting your beauty, thought about how he wanted to hold you close to him when he saw you standing there, thought about how you had smiled at him when you had told him you had missed him too, thought about how you were the only thing he could think of.
“I love Y/N.”
The corners of Taehyung’s lips curled up and he nodded.
“I still love, Y/N.”
And once again, Taehyung nodded.
Jungkook slumped into his chair, hands in his lap as he stared at some chip in the dining table, mind far, far away. Never had he been this confused before, never had he ever struggled this much to process anything before.
But at the same time, it made sense, made sense that he was still in love with you. How could he not be? How could he not be when you were the only one that had ever made him so happy that the corners of his lips had started hurting from all of the grinning and his stomach aching from all of the laughing and his lungs screaming for oxygen? How could he not be when you were the smartest, kindest, funniest. most talented, brilliant, inspiring and prettiest person he had ever met?
It made so much sense that Jungkook was still deeply in love with you after all this time, it hurt his brain.
And so, he stayed silent, stayed silent even as Taehyung reached over and bit into his burger after finishing his own.
“What do I do?”
Jungkook surprised himself when he spoke, not intending to, but once the words were out, he wanted the answer. Taehyung put Jungkook’s burger down on his own pile of cheeseburger wrappers and brushed his hands off.
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to tell her. I want to try again. I want to hold her in my arms and kiss her until the sun rises-”
“Okay, calm down, Kook,” Taehyung laughed and leaned back into his chair. “I get it. You wanna rush over to her and profess your love to her in this grand romantic gesture, but take a moment and think about it, about everything.”
Jungkook lowered his gaze and looked up after two seconds, chest pressed against the edge of the table and legs itching to carry him to you.
“You think she’s still up-”
“No,” Taehyung cut in and pointed at Jungkook, burger abandoned to the side once more as he leaned forward. The smile that had pulled on his lips before disappeared.
“Kook, I need you to think about how you’ve treated Y/N these past weeks.” Jungkook straightened up and his legs tucked themselves under the chair when the memories came crashing down on him. “Really think about it.”
And so, this time, Jungkook did think about it, did take a moment and let all of your interaction run through his mind. And the longer he did, the longer he thought about what he had said to you and how he had treated you, the more he wanted to punch himself, the more he wanted to turn back time, the more he wanted to fall to his knees and beg you to forgive him, beg you to just please not hate him.
Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, fingers clawing on the roots as he cursed himself.
“Bad, isn’t it?” Taehyung said and cocked his head to the side. 
“What do I do?”
“Well, I’d apologise first if I were you and I’d take all responsibility for what, well, you’ve done. And I’d tell her that if she doesn’t feel the way I do, that it’s fine and I will do anything in my power to not make it awkward for her and the fact that she’s friends with my friends.”
Jungkook hummed, hummed because he really couldn’t do anything else. He just couldn’t believe how blinded he had been, how blinded he had been by all of that ugly and unresolved anger and pain.
Taehyung let Jungkook think for a while, think before he leaned forward again and said what he had been trying so desperately to tell him, what he had been trying to get through his thick skull all this time.
“But before that, Kook, I need you to realise that when she made your promise of forever, you were teens. Remember how dumb and stupid we were back then? And I know you felt like Y/N was being selfish and leaving you behind to go study in America, but in reality, she was following her dreams. And you thought that those dreams didn’t include you, but they did. You were the one that broke up with her. She did not break up with you. You did.”
Taehyung paused for a second, arms crossing in front of his chest. 
“You decided to not be in her dreams.”
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You banged on the door, banged on it like you were about to kick it in, banged on it like your life depended on it, and when it finally opened, you almost banged on his chest, fist stopping mid-air.
“Who the fuck- Y/N? What are you doing here? It’s five in the morning- wait, why are you all wet? Did you run through the rain?”
You shoved your phone into his face and he squinted, your screen blinding him. The overhead light above you did barely anything to illuminate the hallway you were standing in, leaving both of you essentially in darkness. 
It took him a few seconds, a lot of blinking and wrapping his fingers around your wrist to hold your phone away to finally see what you were showing him.
[heejin - 11:21 PM] : hi! I wasnt sure if I should tell you this or not and I honestly contemplated not to
[heejin - 11:21 PM] : but at the end, I think you should know
[heejin - 11:21 PM] : I’m not too sure what exactly is going on between kook and you, but for what it’s worth, kook and I broke up
[heejin - 11:22 PM] : I hope you two figure out whatever is between you two because I do think you two would be cute. you definitely got my blessing!
[heejin - 11:22 PM] : dream team ;)
Your knuckles turned white around your phone before you let your arm drop to your side. Your heart was pounding in your chest, pounding so much that you were certain that she was trying to leap out of it and fall into his hands again.
Jungkook blinked at you, mouth agape as he struggled to find his voice, struggled to take you all in because did you really stand in front of him, soaked to the bones, hair all tangled up and wet from the rain, chest heaving like you had run all of the way here or was he simply dreaming? Did he finally fall asleep?
“Did I wake you up?” you panted and shifted from one foot to another, expecting him to slam the door in your face.
“N-no, I, uh, I wasn’t sleeping,” Jungkook said and you looked at him before nodding and letting your gaze travel to the side. Your brows pinched together and Jungkook was about to invite you in because, again, you were soaked to the bones, but then, you took a deep breath and opened your mouth.
Here goes nothing.
“Look, Jungkook, I debated with myself for the past four or so hours whether or not I should come here. And then, it started to rain, and, well, I know that you love your romcoms. And even though I also know you probably wanna be the one to execute the grand romantic gesture because you are you and you love so fucking deeply and wholly, I decided that I’m gonna do this because, well, you deserve it.
“When I left for America, I- I truly thought I was going to move on from you at one point, thought you were going to turn into an old love, a memory. I thought that one day I’d tell my grandkids about you, Jungkook, and how you were my first love and how happy you had made me and how bitter our ending had been, but,” you shook your head, “but the truth is, you still have such a hold on my heart. You’re still vibrant and alive in my mind, imprinted in there.
“And I know I’ve hurt you by leaving, but I didn’t leave because I stopped loving you, Jungkook,” tears filled your eyes, “I left because having you, having you by my side, as my boyfriend, Jungkook, made me believe that anything was possible, made me want to reach for the stars, fulfill my dreams because before America, you were my dream. You were the one thing I had wanted for so long, and then, I had you. Then, you were mine, and I was on cloud nine.
“I’ve felt so guilty all this time and beaten myself up for leaving because you were obviously still so angry and hurt by that, and unlike what you might believe, I never wanted that, never wanted to hurt you in any way. I need you to understand that I didn’t leave because you weren’t enough. You were and are enough, Jungkook. I left because you made the impossible seem possible, and so, I thought you’d be my side forever, even if oceans and continents and whatever were between us.
“And I realise that was selfish, selfish of me to just expect you to be fine with it. I should have talked to you, told you about the scholarship and my plans and not broken our promise like that. But I didn’t, and I made you think that everybody is selfish and that you weren’t enough. But that’s not true.” You shook your head and swallowed heavily, trying not to choke on your own tears. “Jungkook, you taught me that people are wonderful and amazing and you made me feel like I was more than enough, beyond enough. And you deserve to feel the same way, so, I’m deeply sorry for failing to do just that and for leaving without a proper explanation and talking to you beforehand.
“I know you probably don’t wanna hear this because you probably hate me now, but even if you decide to slam the door in my face and curse me out for the rest of my life after this and forget about all that I’ve said, I want you to know one thing. 
“I love you. I love you so much it hurts, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop, not even if you hate me.”
Jungkook looked at you, gazed into your eyes, and truly, you thought time stopped. You waited, waited for him to say or do something and it felt like eternities were flying past you as you stood there, blinking at him. And even with tears in your eyes, blurring your vision, you could see him clearly, could see Jungkook standing right in front of you.
“Y/N, oh, my love,” Jungkook started, voice shaky before he took a step closer to you. His hand reached up and he cupped your face. Your cheek was cold, cold from the rain, but the moment he touched you, you felt warmth push through you, through your chest, felt the remnants of icicles melt away in your lungs.
“Please, don’t apologise. I should be apologising to you, should be the one banging on your door and begging for your forgiveness. I don’t hate you. I could never truly hate you.” Jungkook swallowed, voice cracking as the words continued spilling from him without a pause. “I- I’m the one that fucked up so badly, I don’t even know how you can still love me. I hurt you so much, said so much dumb shit and made you feel so fucking guilty when you shouldn’t have felt guilty.” He shook his head at himself and held onto you a little tighter like he was scared you were going to slip away if he didn’t. “I’m so sorry, my love, for being so incredibly blinded by anger and pain for so long. I’m so sorry for hurting you and making you feel like you needed to apologise to me.
“Tae is right. I should have taken you to the airport and wished you well. I should have been there with the others and said goodbye. I shouldn't have screamed at you and stayed at home-”
“Kook, babe, no,” you choked out and grabbed his wrist, holding onto it as you shook your head at him. “Don’t apologise. I- I should have talked to you before. You had every right to be mad at me. I understand why you didn’t go. I understand why you couldn’t do it. It’s fine-”
“But I don’t want it to be fine,” Jungkook interrupted and your fingers tightened around his wrists. “I don’t want it to be fine because I know I hurt you by not being there. And I never want it to be fine or okay or whatever if I hurt you.”
Jungkook and you looked at one another, vision blurry and just as the first tear began spilling from the corner of your eye, you took a step towards Jungkook, closing the gap that had lingered between you two and pressed your lips to his.
You kissed Jungkook, kissed him standing on the doorstep of his front door, kissed him standing there, soaked to the bones, kissed him like it was just you and him in this universe. Your body leaned into his and your hands were desperate for him, desperate to just touch him. You grabbed onto whatever skin and piece of Jungkook you could get, and he did the same, but your kiss was soft and calm, the opposite of your hands. You held onto you like you were drowning, like you were Rose and Jack.
You moved your lips against his and your smile grew the longer you kissed Jungkook. And you wondered if he could also feel the sun shine in his chest, if he could also taste the honey and sugar and love trapped between your teeth, if his skin was also prickling everywhere you touched him, if fireworks were also exploding in his stomach like they were in yours, if this was enough of a grand romantic gesture for him.
You wondered if Jungkook could feel just how much you loved him.
The sun rose behind you two, and when you two pulled away to breathe, you smiled at each other. 
Jungkook didn’t let go of you and neither did you. He cupped your face once more and pulled you close to him. Your breath mixed with his, heavy and varied, but it was all good, all good because smiles were on your lips, all good because you had each other again.
“My love,” Jungkook breathed, and gazed into your eyes the way he had when you had won that round of Taboo and smiled at you the way he had when he and you had stood on the balcony. “I love you.”
“Kook, babe,” you started, pecking his nose before beaming at him, beaming at him like you had used to, beaming at him because he was your sun and your dream. “I love you more.”
Jungkook leaned in for a quick kiss, leaned in the same way he used to whenever his heart pounded a little too much in his chest. And you pressed right back against him, lips finding his, and you knew,
Jungkook was warmth.
Jungkook was home.
Jungkook was love.
“Fucking finally.”
Jungkook and you pulled apart and jerked around to the source of the sound, and when you saw them standing there, behind you, your heart stopped mid-beat. Your jaw went slack as you blinked at them, unable to process what was happening right now.
“Worth it, right?” 
Jungkook and you whipped your heads around one more time, and it was then that you saw Taehyung standing behind you, hands shoved into his pockets and body leaned against the door to the living room.
“Eh, was kinda obvious that this was gonna happen at one point,” Yoongi mumbled with a shrug, clearly unbothered, but Yerim was the complete opposite, hands pressed to her mouth as she tried to stop the squeal from spilling free.
“Oh my God!” she shrieked, voice so high it hurt and Jungkook and you cringed. “I- I’ve been literally dreaming of this!”
“So, worth it, right? Coming here?” Taehyung asked again and squeezed himself between Jungkook and you to step out into the hallway, prompting you to move to the side a little.
“Yes, absolutely!” Yerim grinned and nodded vigorously, and for a moment, you thought her head was going to come off.
“What’s happening right now?” you asked and your hands found Jungkook’s, your fingers lacing with his for some kind of support.
“Oh, yeah, I heard you banging on the door, so, I called up Yoongs and Yeri and told them to get their asses here because our best friends don’t get back together without everybody here to witness it,” Taehyung explained with a shrug.
“Wait, how did you two make it here in time?” Jungkook asked, thumb brushing over your hand as he stepped closer to you to look at Yoongi and Yerim.
“Yeah, unlike what you might think, Kook, traffic isn’t always so bad and there aren’t always fires around,” Yoongi smirked and Jungkook gasped behind you. 
Taehyung, Yerim and you looked at each other, jaws going slack before you started grinning and all three of you had to bite your lips to stop the laughter from spilling free. Jungkook tugged on your hand and you tried your hardest not to laugh, but when you looked at him, you just couldn’t stop it.
Pearls of laughter spilled out and you took Taehyung and Yerim with you. Taehyung placed his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder and gave him a comforting squeeze, and Yerim hid behind Yoongi, trying her hardest to avoid Jungkook’s gaze.
And even though he was offended and tried to keep looking like he was truly offended, he couldn’t help but laugh with you all, couldn’t help himself when he saw you grinning at him like that.
“Can we go now?” Yoongi smiled when you all had calmed down, the bags under his eyes darkening with every second he wasn’t in his bed. “It’s five in the morning and usually, I’m in bed during this time.”
Taehyung smiled at him. “Only if you say, it was worth it.”
Yoongi groaned and threw his head into his neck, not enjoying that answer at all. Yerim giggled and nudged him with her elbow, but instead of just saying it was worth it, Yoongi decided to argue with Taehyung.
“It was so obvious that they were gonna get together again. I honestly wouldn’t have minded if you hadn’t called me.”
“Min Yoongi, are you seriously telling me that you wouldn’t have minded missing out on our best friends getting back together?”
“Honestly? Yeah.”
“He’s lying. Yoongs loves Kook and Y/N together.”
“What’re you talking about, Yeri? I don’t-”
“Do I have to remind you that you texted me last week that you couldn’t believe that they weren’t back together yet?”
“Oh, Yoongs, that’s so cute.”
“Why would you believe her, Tae? It’s bullshit!”
Too busy watching Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi argue with each other, you didn’t notice Jungkook turning away. So, when you suddenly felt cotton brush against your arms, you were more than surprised.
“What?” you blurted out before looking down at yourself and seeing one of Jungkook’s jackets around your body. 
“Thought you might be cold. You know, with all of that running through the rain and everything,” Jungkook hummed with a shrug and you stared at him for a little before you smiled at him again. You leaned up and pressed a quick kiss against his lips, a kiss that had the corners of his lips curling into the most beautiful smile.
You hugged Jungkook’s jacket closer to your body, trying to keep that warmth in your chest locked down. The smell of his detergent and sweat mixed with your senses and you felt all dizzy, but it was the good kind of dizzy, the kind of dizzy you loved, the kind of dizzy only Jungkook could ever make you feel.
And when he wrapped his arms around you, you quickly wrapped your arms around him too. Your lips brushed against his neck and you left a kiss there, trying to make sure that he would never ever forget that he was more than enough, never ever forget that you loved him like nobody else in this world.
And with his arms around your body, you, once again, felt like the impossible was possible, like the stars were yours to grab, like nothing could ever come between you, but unlike before, you knew that this time, it was all true.
“I love you,” you hummed into Jungkook’s ear and he smiled into your hair before tightening his arms around you.
“And I love you.”
Jungkook and you gazed into each other’s eyes, sunlight sparkling in your pupils before you both slowly leaned into each other, more and more. Your eyes flickered down to his lips and you knew that any second now, he would kiss you. And the thought alone had your heart racing and your breath hitching and your hands shaking but in the best ways possible. And right as your lips were about to connect,
“Fine!” Yoongi grunted and silenced Taehyung and Yerim, cutting them mid-sentence and Jungkook and you mid-kiss. “It was worth it. I missed Kook and Y/N and I’m more than overjoyed to see them together again! My heart is literally melting in my chest and I can’t wait to go home because I wanna shriek and scream into my pillow!”
Jungkook and you turned your heads around to see a panting Yoongi. His eyes were big and nostrils flared as he glared at Taehyung and Yerim.
“Happy now?” he asked through gritted teeth and he looked between Taehyung and Yerim, who were exchanging glances with each other. There was a beat of silence and a second later, the two burst out into laughter. Jungkook and you had to grin too, but you still shook your heads at your friends, the situation far too ridiculous.
“Hey, Yoongs,” Jungkook called over your head before looking at you. When you nodded at him, he turned back to Yoongi, who was, at this point, fuming and mumbling to himself, cheeks red. “You can go home now.”
“Thank you!” Yoongi grumbled and threw his hands into the air, but before he could turn around and drive home with his cheeks and the tips of his ears bright red, Jungkook interjected,
“But you are a dumb, little bitch.”
Yoongi’s jack went slack as he furrowed his brows at Jungkook, more than caught off guard by the sudden insult. It was clear he was struggling to process it, but so were Taehyung, Yerim and you, all three of you going silent at Jungkook’s words.
It took you a moment to understand why Jungkook had said what he had said, and when you did, you burst out into laughter.
You gasped for air as you threw your head back, laughter rippling through your chest, and Jungkook joined you, bending over as he laughed his heart out as well. And soon enough, Taehyung joined you two, finally making the connection himself. Yerim started laughing as well, but only because Taehyung, Jungkook and you were laughing.
Yoongi was left blinking at you three as he struggled to decide whether he was offended or amused, and judging from the smile tugging on the corners of his lips, it was the latter.
“Not like that,” you said with a shake of your head and Jungkook shrugged at you.
“What? Isn’t that we were talking about when we said to bully Yoongs?” he asked with that proud smirk on his lips, that proud smirk he always got whenever he managed to make people laugh. Taehyung and you shook your heads at him, both definitely not thinking of calling Yoongi ‘a dumb, little bitch’ when you had agreed to bully him a little. 
It took a while, but soon your laughter died down, but the grins stayed on your lips.
“Definitely not like that,” Taehyung agreed with you, fingers wiping away the tears, and you three locked eyes with each other, grinning, no, beaming. 
Yoongi sighed after he had enough of whatever this was, and turned on his heel, but once again, before he could go, Jungkook interjected,
“Hey, I think you should all just crash here. It’s, well, early and probably better for you two to not get behind the wheel right now.”
Yoongi opened his mouth to protest, but then, he stopped himself and paused, gaze levelling Jungkook’s.
“I get your bed?”
“Sure thing, I’ll kick you out of it,” Jungkook grinned and even though that had not been the response he had wanted, Yoongi shuffled inside, Yerim right behind him.
“I’m happy you guys are back together,” she told you two as she walked past you and you grinned at Jungkook, a grin he returned right away.
Taehyung let out a sigh, lips still pulled into a smile before he, too, shuffled inside, gaze meeting yours when he did. 
“Thank you.”
“Yeah, seriously. Thanks,” Jungkook hummed and Taehyung laughed before waving you two off, dismissing your words with a flick of his hand.
“No need to thank me,” Taehyung grinned. “I’m just happy that you two are back together.”
Both of you wanted to disagree, but Taehyung silenced you with a smile. And right as he was about to turn into the living room to figure out where Yerim and Yoongi were going to sleep, he looked over his shoulder and met Jungkook’s and your gaze.
“You can name your firstborn after me if you’re truly thankful.” A pause. “Taehyung Jeon. Doesn’t sound too bad, right?”
“You think we would name our firstborn after you?”
“You think I would take Kook’s last name?” 
Jungkook gasped next to you and took a step back, hand gripping your elbow to draw your attention to him. His brows were slightly furrowed together and his mouth agape.
“What’s that supposed to mean? What’s wrong with Jeon?” he asked and you stared at him.
“Gonna leave you two alone now,” Taehyung laughed, not wanting to see where that conversation was going, and joined Yerim and Yoongi in the living room.
“Nothing. Don’t you worry about it,” you said with a smile and stroked Jungkook’ cheek, and instantly, he melted into your touch, frown washing away. “It’s fine. It’s a nice last name.”
You pinched Jungkook’s cheeks, making him pull away and just as he was about to complain and tell you not to pinch his cheek, you continued,
“You know, fine and nice for now.”
Jungkook’s eyes grew big at your words and before he could ask you what exactly you meant with that, (because you knew he was going to. It was Jungkook after all.), you closed the door behind you two. You patted his chest and took his hand to lead him to the others, but he stopped you, pulling you back to him, smirk on his lips.
“You wanna fulfill Tae’s wish?” Jungkook asked with a quirk of his brow and you looked at him, lips pressing into a line. When you didn’t respond, the smirk fell away, prompting you to smile at him again. 
“Let’s join the others, yeah?” you said with a wink, enjoying teasing him a little too much. You didn’t wait for an answer and turned on your heel, but once again, Jungkook stopped you.
“How about we fulfill my dream, then?” 
Jungkook looked at you with the same smirk on his face again, and before you could stop yourself, you laughed at him, shaking your head from left to right. You leaned up to him and planted a kiss on his cheek before patting his chest and walking backwards, pointing at him as you did.
“Just get me a towel.” 
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→  links don’t work, but don’t forget to message me with any thoughts/feedback! i’d love to hear it!
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catastrophe-at-sixteen · 4 months ago
Text
strawberries and cigarettes (m)
Jungkook x reader
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“For a biology project, you and your class are going on a field trip to collect evidence for your hypothesis. It is all going well until the dark haired nuisance called Jeon Jungkook decides to piss you off.”
Also - a nerd. The resident bad boy. The police. Annoying friends. A loose psycho killer. What could go wrong?
This is my first time ever uploading any fics !! im super nervous haha - i'll probably post a little of each one and see how it goes !!
Jungkook x reader.
This is your classic enemies to lovers but with a slight little twist!
This is set in the 80s/90s and is your typical bad boy/nerd girl trope- but , there is a killer on the loose. I mean this is kind of based on jack the ripper (serial killer) and my teenage fantasies of falling for bad boy jungkook. I hope you’ll give it a go and tell me what you think !!! <3
Tw : cursing, killings, descriptions of death and psychopaths, masturbation , making out, smut.
WC : 11K
also a big massive thank you to @ggukkiereads for helping me gain the confidence to write and dedicate time to finishing this ! ik its been a while since we spoke but much love to u angel <3 may u always have the best !
Begrudgingly the students lag off the bus at 10pm, finally having reached their destination.
Tired and sore from their journey the teachers find no trouble in distributing bedrooms for everyone.
When your name is called out along with Tiffany you internally groan - great you think one of the most plastic girls in the school all to myself.
You grimace but make no argument as you could have gotten worse you suppose.
As you grab your belongings and ignore her protests that she doesn't want to room with a loser like you, a dark clad figure pushes past you, almost tripping you over.
Angrily you shout
"Watch where you're going you prick"!
Yet he doesn't so much look in your direction.
Under the dim moonlight you can faintly make out the low blunt of a cigarette in a tattoo clad hand - so it was the infamous Jungkook.
Honestly you didn't understand why all the girls fawned over him when he was just a rude and ignorant asshole. Sure, he had a pretty face but no good soul to match.
Calming yourself, as it was unlikely that you'd ever receive an apology from the school rebel you just head to your new room.
The school had organised a biology trip so that you could gather authentic evidence on the correlation of birds and wood growth in a certain designated area and honestly you were excited- not having enough expenses to get out of town when you were younger meant that this was a treat for you and paired with you being a biology major your inner geek was surfacing pretty quickly.
You move into your room and begin unpacking your things ignoring the chatter coming from your new roommates.
You set everything nicely, precisely -just to your liking. Maybe some would call you fussy, but you like to think of yourself as organised and classy.
You don’t have many thoughts that night as you lay down for bed, but you do hear the news playing in the background.
" a killing has not been sighted for a time breaking the pattern of the 1-week intervals in which they have been happening, but police still advise to remain on high alert at all times. "
You shudder as you think about it, a killer on the loose in the country and everyone powerless to stop him.
He fed of the insecurities of people, the fear of not being safe. He did a damn well good job at it as well.
You look outside and see the police on night duty setting up, the country while terrified also was reluctant to admit the threat and instead of protecting you properly they had merely sent police force units as glorified bodyguards to ' keep you safe '.
You sigh, as you climb under your covers those problems seem like a long way away from you as you drift off with an empty mind.
It was morning, the sun was shining brightly through the windows giving an orange glow to the room.
You were up before your roommates, had brushed your teeth and were already preparing for your project.
You had to do well, you were depending on a scholarship for university, your family could simply not afford it otherwise.
When your first signs of morning hunger begin to strike you venture outside your room in order to satiate yourself. You find that it’s still quiet only a few students up like yourself, you find a coffee machine and immediately begin to make one for yourself.
“While you're at it could you make one for me too".
a deep voice drawls out.
You almost jump out of your skin at the sound his voice breaking the silence you had been enjoying. Jeon Jungkook.
You scowl at him, choosing to ignore him carrying on making your own cup.
He whistles under his breath.
“wow, edgy or a bitch? I can’t decide".
He taunts you.
You roll your eyes at him and sigh in annoyance, his eyebrows raise at this.
“you’re clearly not a morning person".
He speaks.
You mutter under your breath.
" or maybe I’m just not a YOU person, not everyone lives to be nice to you. "
He lifts his hands up in a mock surrender.
“Okay, okay I get it it's a bad time for you jeez.... I suppose I'll have to make my own coffee".
He moves closer to you, totally invading your personal space, clearly, he had never heard of a personal bubble! You scowl and try to move away but he’s faster and is hovering over you before you know it. He looks down at you with those pretty dark eyes.
They’re so gorgeous.
Not that it matters to you because he is still an asshole, and he still ruined your morning.
“get out of my face Jeon Jungkook".
You say between clenched teeth.
You’re not some sort of pushover.
Yes, you're clever, as society classes a nerd but you're not one to let people walk all over you.
If he’s shocked, he doesn’t let on, just hums and lets you walk away, which you do, a little aggressively. You got back to your room and let out a sound of annoyance, the girls are still sleeping.
You sigh.
This was going to be a long trip.
After an uneventful morning, the wait was over and finally the teachers had called you to gather in the common area. Much to your dismay however there would be no actual data collecting until the police had secured the area, which meant that your whole day was pretty much wasted. The other students were chatting and gossiping and being idiots as per usual.
It’s not that you thought you were better than them, it's just that they were so mundane, so lifeless. They were just living on with no sense of direction. You suppose that's what you get for attending a school for rich kids though.
You could never fit in.
So, you never tried. People took pity on you every now and then offered you a smile. You smiled back but that was it. Your thoughts are running and to clear your head you decide to go outside for a little breather.
There isn’t much, just a few abandoned train tracks that seemingly lead into nowhere, a few broken fences and lots of grass. Not much time after this you head to bed.
Finally, the day had arrived, you could collect your samples.
You are so glad that it’s an individual project because you honestly cannot even imagine working with one of those air heads.
You shudder at the memory of having to work with Taehyung last semester for a chemistry practical.
You had to basically pull all the weight for your grade.
So, you get on working your way through your work and proving or disproving your hypothesis.
You’re pleased at the work that you completed. Not entirely satisfied but satisfied enough, for now.
You let out a stiff yawn, you need to stretch and need a little fresh air since you had spent the last few hours writing up your data and making graphs to compliment them.
You forgo your jacket since the weather isn’t so bad.
It’s nice.
When you go outside there are quite a few students already there, goofing around. There is also a pretty scenery, that in all honesty you had not appreciated until right now.
“Wow" you mutter under your breath.
Maybe I should try living outside my own head sometimes.
You spot some students surrounding a police officer and the curiosity gets the better of you and your soon wandering around the outskirts of their conversation.
Alas, it was merely a fruitless conversation. The police officer telling the other about his escapades and how they will be good in hands.
You lose yourself to your own thoughts again and look at the scenery. Until a little scuffle, breaks you out of your thoughts.
“What was that? There was a movement down there!! “
A boy called Josh calls out.
The police officer had also noticed it, then a sound of a gunshot sounds through the air.
The police officers curse and begin to get ready to scout the area. They want you all to go away, be safe inside but you’re all young adults- you want to see what’s going on.
Everyone gathers, watching the officers.
You scan the area; you spot the balcony that looks over the area just in front of the cabins.
Perfect you think that’s the perfect spot to see what’s going on.
So, you begin to climb up the steps to that room, when you get there, you can see everything.
You see a dead dog, a dead bird and the gun which had killed them laid out to where the officers were heading.
Fear grips your heart; your heartbeat is erratic. You think you see the shape of figure retreating into the distance but before you can look again, you feel the ground give way under you.
You let out a shriek, feeling yourself falling.
Is this truly how my life end you wonder I didn’t even get to complete my PhD?
Yet, instead of the hard fall that your body had been anticipating; your landing is softer and lets out a low grunt.
You're sure you're dead and have entered heaven.
Slowly you register a warm feeling under your legs and a secure one at your waist.
oh, this feels nice.
you think, eyes still closed until you hear some chaos in the distance.
what's happening?
Why is heaven so noisy? Are they partying because I’ve arrived? Was I actually an angel all this time am I coming home?
Ah you think this must be the angels- I knew all those days spent doing charity would help me.
You open your eyes and you’re met with bambi eyes staring back at you.
Slowly you begin to piece the rest of your angel together.
“Jeon Jungkook? “
You try and raise your voice to compliment your surprise, but it comes out in a more whisper.
“But this, Jungkook, you were an angel all this time? “you say.
His eyebrows knot together in confusion.
“What are you talking about strawberry?”
You gasp.
"Do we all get code names in heaven? You’re a pretty angel Jungkook. “
Then your eyes zero in on the scar on his cheek.
“Aren’t Angel’s supposed to be blemish free? Is that? Are you fallen? Wait.... for me? Are you my angel Jungkook? “
His eyes, which had previously shown confusion are now coloured with amusement.
“You talk a lot don’t you my little strawberry”.
You vaguely hear the sounds behind you before you begin to feel drowsy and fall limp the arms of your unexpected angel.
Jungkook was, of course no angel, your delirious ass was just doing and saying delirious things. You were going to be mortified when you woke up.
When you come to your room in a dark room, tucked into a warm bed. Your headaches aches as if someone is using a sledgehammer to hit it every second.
‘Agh’ you let out a pained groan.
What even happened? you wonder in your head.
You move quickly, getting out of bed ignoring your protesting limbs.  You almost reach the doors until a pair of arms trap you.
‘woah woah where do you think you're going?’
You let out a scream, completely startled. A hand comes to cover your mouth.
‘man, you really do have a set of lungs, don’t you? ‘
You stop struggling in his embrace to match his voice to a face. Its familiar.
‘Jeon Jungkook?’ you let a little unsure and panic still evident in your voice.
‘your one and only’
You frown.
‘mine?’
He smirks at you,
‘that's right yours strawberry’.
You shake your head.
‘are you smoking something? Are you high right now?’
He pouts a little then, it changes his look completely. He looks a little cute.
‘you don't remember? ‘ he cocks his head to the side and points to himself. ‘I'm your angel’.
You scoff.
‘Please in what world are YOU an angel? You're far from it’.
Then it all comes back to you.
Jungkook watches as the realisation begins to show on your face.
‘Oh my god I had a concussion, you cannot be serious right now ‘
He chuckles.
'The words still came out of your mouth' Jungkook counters, he leans closer to you, his face way to close for your liking.
You feel your face grow warm from his proximity, but you don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
You scoff and push him away.
‘You're insane’.
He accepts the distance you've placed between the two of you and he chooses to smirk at you from where he is standing.
‘And you're crazy for me’.
You let out an incredulous laugh, not believing him.
‘Oh, my lord, please shut up for the sake of my sanity’.
He chuckles at your flustered state and you scramble your brain to find a change of subject.
‘okay whatever now just excuse me because I need to go back to my room’.
You move to begin walking to the door, but his voice halts your movements.
‘This is your room now’.
You whip around to face him.
‘What?! Ha as if Jeon, why would they room us together- were supposed to separate for the opposite genders- which I totally get when you're involved’ you say disbelief painting your voice. You whisper the last part though.
He puts his hands into his pockets and shrugs.
‘Protection?’
You set him a hard stare.
‘Save your lame ass men superiority talks for someone else i am having a severe case of I'm not interested’.
Why the hell would you need Jungkook for protection, it reeks of patriarchy and you hate it.
He shrugs.
‘Listen princess I don't know why either really to be honest but I'm not complaining-’
You don't bother entertaining him for much longer.
This can't be true. You cannot be paired into a room with him. He cannot be your new roommate - heck now tiffany doesn't seem so bad. Flirting asshole, you mutter under your breath as you begin searching for your teacher.
You only learn a bitter truth, due to the collapsing of the room you had to be relocated into another room and the only person without a roommate was Jungkook. They ‘trusted’ you enough that you would be able to handle it and not to do anything you were not supposed to.
‘We trust you, y/n’ was what she had told you.
You spend your time cursing out both her and Jungkook as you gather your belongings to move into your new room.
You're so caught up in your own thoughts that you don't notice a foot that comes out to trip you.
You look up and see the faces of three stupid bitches.
Tiffany Jessica and Irene.
They seemed to consider themselves above everybody else, though you've no idea why. Aside from flawless looks they seemed to live pretty empty life in your eyes. They were living definitions of empty shells walking around.
You get up quietly from the ground, you'll gain nothing from engaging with them, maybe you'd lose a few brainless. You just want to go back and rest - your head is killing you.
But to your disappointment they begin to talk.
‘Well, well well, if it isn't the school's new slut moving into MY boyfriend's room’.
You have to let a little laugh at this. This one is seriously deluded. Jungkook didn't do relationships you knew that. Everybody knew that. They had hooked up about 3 months ago and even though he does his best to ignore her she still insists that he is her boyfriend. It's just pathetic and a bit sad you suppose. Her obvious attraction to him which he just does not reciprocate.
She becomes enraged at your actions.
‘listen here you little bitch you better not even think of starting anything with my man-’ she spits out at you.
You snap back then, unable to hold your tongue.
‘I am not a slut, and I will not go after your man- which fyi  he is not. He is a human and he doesn’t belong to you he never has’
She grows red at your words.
‘you little piece of shit-’
She raises her hand but just then a voice interrupts her and she halts her actions.
‘well if it isn't my new roomie, l’ll take that from you strawberry’ Jungkook says, too cheery for your liking, your still contemplating hitting Jessica.
Jessica begins speaking up, but he ignores her turning to you.
Your mouth almost drops open at his dismissal of Jessica but then again, she is annoying, and he cannot be immune to that.
‘Jungkoooook’ she whines when he doesn’t respond to her the first time.
He still doesn’t entertain her.
He moves to take your things from you, but she speaks again, latching onto his arm.
‘just leave her -cshe's just an annoying stuck-up bitch’.
He responds to this under his breath laughing.
‘reminds me of someone ’
She doesn't understand his comment.
‘huh?’ she says almost comically.
‘who baby?’ she pouts at him ‘my poor baby having to deal with such people, just leave with me and we can-’
‘no’ he sets her with a hard stare.
It's like she has forgotten that you're there, so you decide to use this to your advantage, letting Jungkook deal with them. You move to get your suitcase, but a hand stops yours. Its Jungkook.
‘I don’t think so strawberry - I'll be getting those for you’.
You turn to look at him scowl adorning your features.
‘I don’t need your help Jeon’.
He smirks at you.
‘no no - I insist’.
He dismisses Jessica with a wave of his hand and begins to walk away your suitcase in his hand, which prompts you to follow along.
‘What. Was. That. Jungkook?!’ you say when the door closes, you’re fuming because he had made it seem as though you were dating or doing things together which meant that they would keep bothering you, which is just something that you don’t want.
He turns around to face you.
‘oh, don’t get your panties in such a twist, I just needed to get the fuck away from her’.
He sounds angry and this is the Jungkook that you are more accustomed to. Not the flirty one you have been seeing. Hopefully he had given up on whatever he was trying to achieve with that. He was a rude asshole who was just to used to seeing things come out in his favour.
‘excuse me, you just fuelled her whack ass thoughts and next time don’t use me as your escape route’ you say matching his hostile tone.
‘oh, don’t be such a priss, it saved you as much as it saved me’.
An exasperated noise escapes your throat.
‘well maybe you should have kept it in your pants lover boy’.
He sets you with a hard stare.
‘oh, shut up - you don’t know me’ he grits out.
You cock your head to the side much like he had done to you earlier in the day.
‘hmmm I think I know you pretty well Jungkook, you're not as unreadable as you like to think, Jeon Jungkook the infamous bad boy who uses girls to fuel his ego and is used by girls to fuel their own ego and status quo among their own stupid--’
You do not get to finish you sentence however because you're harshly being pinned to the door. His grip on you is hard and it stings but you meet his gaze.
‘shut the fuck up y/n’ the tone of his voice is almost carnal, animal like.
You seriously had hit a nerve.
‘I go beyond your perceptions of me- you little miss goody two shoes’.
You spit back in his face.
‘I've yet to see you act more like a crazed rabbit Jungkook and to be honest I don’t plan on finding out the depths of your character either. I don’t fucking care about you’.
You push him aside and move to unpack your suitcase.
He mutters something under his breath that you can't hear, and he walks out slamming the door behind him.
‘well, that was fun’ you say and begin to take out your notes and books that you will need through the day.
When you wake up the next you feel like you’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. The painkillers had given you the illusion that you were okay. You look a mess, you're tired, you cannot believe that this happened.  You had been looking forward to this for so long, they had told you that another student would be collecting your data. Your new roommate. Jeon Jungkook. He was going to be collecting your data.
This is preposterous! He would probably sabotage you on purpose! This cannot happen, but they wouldn’t budge from their choice. You huff as you look out of the window, where you could be collecting your data along with the other students. Darn you and your curiosity.
They always did say didn’t they- that curiosity killed the cat.
Your walking around the room, pacing- that’s how bored you are. You had reorganised your things 3 times and colour coded all you notes, redrew your graphs, you had done everything that you thought would keep you busy but here you are sitting with nothing to do.  You look around the room see Jungkook's things laying on the ground.
You sigh into the empty room again and just lay down waiting for them to come back. You end up falling asleep.
You're stirred from your sleep, quite rudely by a book being thrown at the foot of your bed. You sit up, still groggy and look at Jungkook.
‘what the hell man’
He stares at you blankly.
‘There's your work priss’
You're not bothered by his hostile tone instead open the book and seeing what he had done, or you suppose looking at it what he had not done. The more you look at the work the more the frown on your face deepens.
‘what the hell is this Jungkook?’
He looks up at you annoyed.
‘the work? Thought you were meant to be a genius?’
You scowl at him.
‘this Jungkook? Is unacceptable a nursery kid could do way better than this !’
He rolls his eyes at you.
‘and? That’s what you're going to get priss so deal with it’.
You make an exasperated sigh.
‘you've used the wrong measurement and everything Jungkook’.
‘look - I don’t care. I didn’t want to do this for you anyway’.
‘like I wanted YOU to do it for me’.
You sigh,
You keep bumping into him everywhere, you know he is your roommate but he is always there at the cafeteria taking the last donut which you had been craving pushing in line, making unnecessary comments and he makes the room so messy!
It’s the same thing for the next few outings, Jungkook comes with the same half assed versions of the data you need.
You try, you really you try so hard to use the data sets he provided but its no use. They're absolutely useless, so you decide to take matters into your own hands.
Your going to sneak out early in the morning, you have to sneak past the guards which as you’ve gathered won't be as hard as one may think because they are not good or much invested in their job anyway.
You prepare yourself and head to set out in the morning. You quietly get up so as not to disturb or wake Jungkook. If he sees you, you know that there will be trouble.
You throw on a hoodie and grab a notebook, a pen and your watch. You have to be back before anyone can notice that you're gone.  You steel yourself one last time, giving yourself a pep talk and sneak out. You hold your breath as you walk past the room of your supervisor and out the back door of the cabins.
This isn't so bad you think. Once you're out of sight of the guards and you think your safe, you let out a sigh of relief and do a little shimmy out of your happiness. You are so pleased and proud of yourself. What you didn’t know that behind you, watching your every move was a boy covered in tattoos with a cigarette in his hand watching you with an amused face.
Jungkook was, not as you thought asleep when you had snuck out. He was also outside, leaning on the side of the building a cigarette in his hand, he couldn’t sleep that night, it happened to him on most nights so he routinely wakes up to have a smoke. On this particular day there is not the usual eerie morning silence that he is used to, but a few grunts and hisses to accompany it. He furrows his brows.
Is that? He thinks y/n!?!?!?!?!?
No way he thinks what the hell is she up to?
Then he catches sight of your notebook and pen.
'Oh, what a nerd' he mutters under his breath. Then he smirks.
He can totally use this to his advantage.
He stubs his cigarette, pulls his hoodie over his head and follows you.
Your heart is still racing you honestly cannot believe that you. l/n f/n are doing this.
‘What a badass’ you say into the silence.
‘Badass? Sneaking out to do bloody work is your idea of badass?’ a voice speaks up behind you.
You shriek startled and are met with Jungkook.
Why is it always him?
‘what in the bloody tarnation's.... are you trying to kill me Jungkook?!’ you say putting your hand on your heart.
He grins pleased at the reaction he had elicited from you.
He cocks his head to the side.
‘what the hell are you doing here ?!’ you hiss at him.
‘could ask you the same thing strawberry’ he replies.
You look at him.
You were so sure that you had been quiet, how could he be here to ruin everything.
‘you do realise that I actually have name, and it's not strawberry’ you say to him.
He shrugs.
‘Yeah but you always smell like them’.
You scoff;
‘and you always reek of cigarettes.’
He frowns but then asks you again.
‘what are you doing here?’
You think of excuses,
‘I'm - I'm on a walk’ you say.
He lifts his eyebrow up.
‘a walk?’
You nod.
‘that's right for my daily exercise its been a pain to be stuck indoors’.
He snorts.
‘you're on a walk with your graph paper pad and pencil case?’
You curse inside your head.
‘yeah I am a nerd after all’ you say, hoping and praying that he’ll just let you go on your way.
He doesn’t
‘I don’t know, you look awfully suspicious to me, do tell why you're heading to the sight of our data collection points when the trail track is in the opposite direction?’ he says.
You rack your brains for an answer.
‘well, I like an adventure’ you say, standing straight.
‘oh, is that so?’ he says laughter infiltrating his tone.
‘yes’, you say meeting his eyes.
‘hmm’ he says ‘I don’t believe you’ he says.
‘do you wanna know what I think?’ he continues.
He takes one step closer to you.
‘I think that our resident miss goody two shoes is sneaking off when told specifically that she can't’ his gaze burns into yours
You feel yourself going red out of embarrassment.
‘I literally have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook' you say breathless.
He leans closer and you can feel his body heat, he continues to bore his eyes into your own and you almost fall into his gaze until you feel your book being snatched out of your hand.
‘HEY!’ you say reaching for it.
But he holds it higher than himself, opens it to the last written on page.
‘new data collection points’ he reads out ‘and oh would you look at that ! It has todays dates written on it’ he says looking down at you with a squint in his eyes.
You huff.
‘well obviously I had to do this because how on earth could I let your lame ass results and data reading be used for my final piece – I'm not looking to fail’ you say venom laced in every word.
He scowls at you.
‘there was nothing wrong with my results princess’ he grits out.
‘oh, please save it’ you snap back ‘you didn’t even use the same measurements – your hopeless’.
‘well, if I'm so fucking useless you should do my work for me’ he says.
You set him a level stare.
‘what?’
‘you heard me’ he says with a roll of his eyes.
‘and why in the hell would I do that? I don’t care if you fail Jungkook, heck I don’t care if you get kicked out’ you tell him.
He shakes his head.
‘well, I mean I could go back right now and tell Miss Taylor-’ he begins.
You narrow your eyes at him.
‘You wouldn’t dare’.
He holds a staring contest with you.
‘oh, wouldn’t I?’ he says.
You both hold each other's gazes before you give in.
You cannot believe the audacity of this asshole.
‘fine whatever asshole’ you say folding your arms and turning around.
He grins in victory and places your notebook back into your hands.
‘chop chop partner get to it’ he says.
You glare at him.
‘partners pull equal weight Jungkook ‘
He rolls his eyes.
‘I don’t really care – you just need to get a move on’.
You turn around no longer wanting to deal with his annoying ass.
You make it forward a few steps before you stop and turn around.
‘why are you following me?’  you ask him.
He rolls his eyes at your apparent dumbness.
‘well smartass, there is a killer on the loose if you didn’t know’.
You freeze up for a second,
Shit
You had almost forgotten. You don’t let him see that you're scared.
‘and? ‘ you say feigning composure.
‘what the hell are you going to do if he pops out of the woods anyway?’
He shrugs.
‘I dunno actually a lot more than you could do anyway’
You stare at him.
‘I could be a black belt in karate for all you know’.
He laughs.
‘okay princess whatever - I just need to make sure that you're not going to fuck this up’.
So, you turn going to the place you need to, to collect your data pieces.
With having to do Jungkook's work as well, it takes a lot longer to complete than you would have liked.
He is surprisingly bearable in the mornings that you both sneak off though. He doesn’t say much. Just watches you – pretends he isn't though.
You catch him once. Its been about 2 weeks since you started this godawful task, and Jungkook's notes and work were in dire need of help so its taking you time. This time however you meet his gaze before he is able to pull away.
You cock your head to the side.
‘what are you staring at?’ you say placing your hands on your hips.
He says something inaudible under his breath.
‘what was that?’
He snaps at you.
‘do you think you have tie to stand around making idle talk with me? The work ain’t going to do itself princess.’
You huff in annoyance.
How dare he! This was just plain wrong anyway I should not even be doing this, but you knew it was the only way. You couldn't risk getting caught and with Jungkook you wouldn't be surprised if he really did rat you out you to all the teachers. And if he did well, you wouldn’t be receiving a very good reference.
It was during an early morning that you hear Jungkook walk off into the distance. Probably to smoke, such a bad habit you tsk.
But you're also done for the day – so you begin to head back on your own.
You feel the grass brush against your feet as you walk back. You’re humming along to that song that was always on the radio, when you hear it. A little whimper - then a cry. You know that you shouldn’t go to look, you know that you're paying for your curiosity already and you don’t need another thing to happen, but you just cannot help yourself!
You follow the sound, going on a detour from the track.
You do consider yourself somewhat of a badass but a serial killer? Yeah, they kinda scare the shit out of you. You hold your breath and walk as quietly and slowly as you can. You hear the whimper again to your left but its deeper into the woods.
As you walk closer you see a pool of blood - your eyes widen, and your heartbeat becomes erratic.
‘what the fuck?’ you whisper into the silence.
You walk closer to the body of the animal and you can feel your knees grow a little weak you can see a white paper which has been tainted red with the blood of the animal that was killed.
You gasp, taking it up in your hands. Your hands also become stained with the redness.
It's in Morse code.
-.-- --- ..- / ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - / -... . / .-- .- -. -.. . .-. .. -. --. / --- ..- - / .- .-.. --- -. .
(YOU SHOULDN'T BE WANDERING OUT ALONE)
You look at it for a while and rack your brains to be able to translate it but no such look. Your mind is busy running at 100miles per hour. As you try and clear your head and look at the note one more time, but a noise in the distance pulls you way from any semblance of concentration that you could have obtained.
You frantically look around trying to locate where the sound had come from. Your senses are all on a high right now. You shove the piece of paper into your pocket and begin to go back the way that you came. After the first few steps you begin running your head running wild with the idea of being found dead in ditch. Your nearly at the main path which you had strayed from. You make it onto the path, and you bend over catching your breath when two arms encircle you from behind.
You let out a scream.
A hand is placed over your mouth.
‘shut the fuck up y/n’.
You recognise THAT voice. Its Jeon Jungkook. Why is this motherfucker always trying to scare you? Your turn around and hit him on the chest,
‘what the actual hell Jeon, you gave me a bloody heat attack and a half’.
He doesn’t respond. He is looking at you, his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes have a glint of anger. He is furious.
‘where the fuck did you go y/n?’ he says, he holds your wrist stopping you from hitting him again.
He holds it in the air holding your gaze.
‘I was.... walking back’ you didn't want him to know what you had found. He would probably tell you it was a bad idea to even translate it. Which it was, but what is life if not for taking risks?
You yank your hand from his grasp.
He looks at you an unreadable expression on his face.
“you’re a fucking liar “he says.
You scoff.
“oh please, what’s it to you anyway jungkook, you left me first “
He doesn’t say anything, but observes you, trying to look for signs of what you’re hiding.
He had found one too, a dead animal and a note written in Morse.
But he could read it and he knew he was in trouble
“Be careful, or your little girlfriend may be snatched from right under your arms “
He swore under his breath as he read it and immediately began to make his way back to you.
“strawberry?” he calls out but you’re not there.
You’re not there and he hates the feeling of dread that sits in his stomach.
He runs back the way you came, but he still finds no trace of you
“fucking hell where did she go?”
He almost gives up and is going to tell the police when you appear before him, out of breath and you look terrified.
He knows you’re lying, if you were where, you said you were, he would have seen you.
He narrows his eyes at you again.
“I left for two seconds and you ran off. Where the fuck did you go? “
He asks, he wants you tell him, needs you to, he’s overcome with this sense to protect you but you don’t trust him. He needs to change that.
He lets you believe that you have him fooled, that he believes your story and he begins to walk back to the cabins right before the call for breakfast is sounded. You follow after him breathing in a sigh of relief that he had believed you.
That night you find it difficult to sleep. You need to find out the meaning of the Morse code, but you don't have access to a book that will help you translate, meaning that you will have to ask around without looking too suspicious.
You decide that a police officer would do nicely, if you seem overly invested in their job, they would just give you the information.
You spot the officer who looks younger than most, you remember his name.
Park Jimin.
You approach him cautiously.
“Officer park?”
He turns around to face you, smiling softly.
Oh, he’s cute you think.
“yes miss?”
You smile at him warmly.
“nothing serious it’s just that I was wondering if you would like some company, it must be a little boring for you out here on your own “
You say to him and you’re glad you asked him because either way his face breaks out into a smile that has your heart fluttering.
“how very kind of you miss! And yes, a little company wouldn't hurt “, he grins at you.
As you strike up conversation, with the officer you fail to notice a figure dressed in black listening in on your conversation. Jungkook listens in as you try and get information out of officer. He knew it. You had also come across the same note, as he had. He wonders what yours said.
He leaves after a bit, leaving both of you oblivious to the fact that he was even there in the first place.
When you get back to your room, you see Jungkook sitting at the foot of his bed frown on his face.
You ignore him and write down the information you'd just got given by Officer Park. You felt a little bad manipulating him when he was so nice but you just had to know what it meant.
Jungkook speaks up.
“that was a nice conversation you were having with Officer Park “
He says,
You whip you’re head up to look at him and closing your notebook harshly.
“What? Were you eavesdropping on my conversation?”
He rolls his eyes
“Why would I be listening to the conservation of the school nerd with a cop? No, I just happened to hear in passing “
You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding.
“That’s mighty rude of y-" you begin to retort before he cuts you off
“what’s a biology nerd like you need with Morse code?” He asks.
Your mind malfunctions for a moment until you bring yourself back together.
“A little extra knowledge hurts no one you know?” you say appearing nonchalant.
He narrows his eyes
“I know it”
You look at him
“you do?”
He nods,
“why need something translating?” he tries.
You think about it, but ultimately decided against showing him the note you found.
You have no clue what it says. You don’t want him understanding before you do.
You shake your head,
“No, I don’t “
You say, deciding enough is enough and you need to sleep now to be up in the morning.
The next morning you sleep in, meaning that you couldn’t do the work that was set out for you. You stretch and moan as you get out of bed when you sit up and open your eyes fully your locks onto the Bambi ones from across the room. You let out a shriek!
‘What the hell why were you watching me you creeper!’ you say pointing a finger at Jungkook.
He rolls his eyes at you.
‘oh, please don’t flatter yourself’.
‘why didn’t you wake me up? Its so late !’ you question him.
He looks at you and says words that you don’t think that you would hear.
‘I think that we should lay off for a bit strawberry’
You look at him in shock
‘but why!?’
He doesn’t really give you much of an answer in his usual Jungkook manner.
You sigh.
Over the next few weeks, you rarely bump into Jungkook, you see him sometimes in the cafeteria and you can always feel him just watching you it makes you grow warm when you notice his staring.
Jungkook is also going crazy. You drive him crazy.
You guess that you'll have to work at the same pace as everyone, truthfully you had actually caught up with your work that was missed a while ago, you were just doing extra readings to stay ahead. One step ahead of everyone. But you guess that that is going to be changed now.
It had been a while since you had been on your morning trips with jungkook and though you hate to admit it, you kind of missed it.
He wasn't as bad company as you thought he would be, he was oddly quiet which meant that without him talking as much, you really got to admire his beauty. And good lord was he handsome, you understand why people are attracted to him, when his mouth is closed, he’s fine. Basically, you became a little horny when you saw him, it had been ages since you had had sex even masturbated, since you now had room with him.
Jungkook has such strong sharp features which sometimes go all soft, if he pouts while he’s thinking or a bird catches his attention, his eyes will go big and doe like. It's cute. Everybody had two sides you suppose, yours was your horny side (lol what)
Okay maybe, more time to admire him was a bad thing, you did not need to have sexual fantasies with him, no, that was a big no no.
It's been a few weeks since Jungkook had asked you to lay low for a while and in that time, you had been asking around about the killer to the police. You tried your best not to seem suspicious about it though, if they caught on – well it wouldn’t exactly end well. So, you make slow progress, you did make progress though, however.
You could now understand the note and while it scared you, it also ignited something in you that you didn’t even know that you possessed inside of you. You wanted to outdo him, you want to find him, lead him into a trap or something like that anyway. You want to catch him.
Something in the back of your mind is telling you begging you to stop being so stupid, but you ignore and continue to daydream about catching this bastard.
But it can only cure your boredom for a while – you get bored and what better to do when you're bored than to read erotica novels?
You had packed this book with you – the secrets of the alluring painter in France. You had taken to reading at night time on some nights.
Like tonight.
You need a wind down, so you pull out your book, and it has such racy scenes that leave you clenching around nothing.
Your sexual imagination goes wild when you read the erotica in the book and the way they make it seem so fiery, you were no virgin - you knew what sex was like, but never has it been close to the way it is in the book.
You’ve allowed yourself to fall into this horrible habit, at night, when Jungkook is asleep to touch yourself, play with yourself, pretending it is you who is being touched by Kim Taehyung the painter with many secrets.
You feel yourself growing more frustrated with each passage you read, it becomes a little irritating and, you have to touch yourself or you'll go crazy, the man in the book was doing it so well, so hot.
Kim Taehyung, he was described as an utter beauty, soft black hair and soft eyes, a deep voice that just made the reader swoon, you close your eyes and reach your hands down to your shorts, they slip past the hem.
You wish you could moan, wish that you could be vocal, like you were in your bedroom when it was just you and your pillow, but there was one big problem and that was Jeon Jungkook.
Why did you have to room with him?
You lighten your breathing and listen for signs of him being awake, but he seems to be breathing really deep, he is asleep you assure yourself.
You turn the lamp off, at the side of your bed, setting the book on the bedside table.
You trail your hand down your stomach, much like Taehyung had done to the main character, he slowly lets his fingers flutter over the top of her shorts, and you do the same. You build the tension, like it's his beautiful hands working against you.
You pause and let your fingers slip past the hem of your panties, you trace over the fabric covering you - first over your mound, stroking sensually.
How had Taehyung done it?
Right yes, he had used his nails slightly and grazed over lightly, a slight pressure but nothing that hurt - it was just enough to make you squirm under your own touch.
You feel your own wetness, feel how obscene it is in the darkness of the night.
Jungkook is right there, and while it scares you, it also thrills you, you feel a new wave of arousal and adrenaline when you remember he is there.
Slowly and as quietly as possible you shuffle, moving to take your shorts off, it's a little loud but you think that you're okay, Jungkook is out like a log.  After a moment you continue to tease yourself.
Running your fingertips over your lips, pressing down on your hole and clenching, withholding the need to hiss.
You raise your hand further and your fingers land right at the centre of your pleasure.
Your clit. Oh, the beautiful bundle of nerves.
You cover your mouth with a hand to stifle the moan that you almost let out when you begin to rub small circles around the sensitive nub.
When you can’t get enough your panties are next to go, and when the cold air hits your wet centre you have to hold your breath, shaky.
You reach down and gather your slick slowly, spreading it all over your centre, making yourself drown in your own arousal, you use your middle and ring finger to slide up and down at a pace that leaves you edged and eager for more, you need to bring yourself to the very edge to get yourself the release that you’re after, you free hand travels up to your ever sensitive boobs, you play with them, brushing over the nipple, making them perk and then groping them while you rub at your clit.
A dirty thought crosses your mind, when you remember the boy who was asleep across from you.
What if, he was the one to touch, the one touching you, with those beautiful hands of his, those big hands.
You stifle another moan, as you think about him, hovering over you, giving it to you just right. You had heard that Jungkook could actually make a girl cum while having sex, that made you a little interested. It’s just he always opens his mouth and is an ass and ruins everything. But right now, in your imagination, only his looks and reputation matter, you twist and turn his character to be someone that you can gain pleasure from.
You can the pleasure increase and you begin to fasten your speed until you feel the signs of your orgasm and then you pull away. Edging yourself.
Your breathing is a little heavy and your work on controlling it, both your hands go to fondle your breasts and you unconsciously lift your hips, humping the air, you lean down again and enter three fingers easily into your own heat.
The squelching sound heard is deafening in the silent room, your cheeks burn red and you pull out slowly, so that was a no no, you would have to focus on your clit for you orgasm. Which was fine because you were so sensitive from playing with yourself, you know that it would only take a few more strokes to get there.
You press the fingers that were just inside of you, against your sensitive bud and you rub in slowly circles and then fastening your place and then slowing once more.
Jungkook comes into your mind again, ugh, now his lips, his pretty pink lips and the way he licks them, and the way they glisten under the sun. What if they were attached to your clit, if he was using his face to give you pleasure, like Taehyung had done to the main character of the novel, God it was so filthy.
Its driving you insane and you love it, the frustration will only make your release all the more powerful.
After a while you feel the fire blooming in your bottom of your stomach, and you quicken your pace to the point where you feel light and the waves of pleasure rack over your whole body.
You press your hand to your mouth again to conceal the gasps that are escaping you, you sigh and fall back onto your pillow feeling so much better and lighter.
Gosh did that feel good. You were aware that in your mind alarms were going off in your mind. You had thought of Jungkook while masturbating. It was a line you have no idea why you crossed. How would you look him in the eye now?
After a while, you pull up your panties and shorts and you promise yourself a shower in the morning.
What you didn't know was that the raven-haired boy of your fantasies was in fact awake and now painfully hard as he listened to your filthy little moans and gasps, he grabs his own member in his pants, strokes slowly. He spreads the pre-cum over his member before setting the fast pace that he liked, his breaths through his nose – to conceal the way his breathing has become strained. His hair becomes damp from sweat and it sticks to his forehead. He came much faster that he would care to admit the thought of you right there yet unreachable the fact that you were so NAUGHTY under all that good girl.
Turning him on, making him needy.
He breathes heavy, thinking of you under him as he squirts out cum into his pants, Jungkook too showers in the morning after you.
After this Jungkook stays up at night, listening to you, seeing if you would do it again, you do and, on those nights, Jungkook cums at the same time as you. He feels a little pathetic, he knows that he can fuck a lot of girls in the class right, but it wasn't you, God he wants it to be you writhing underneath him.
It’s the next morning and you're getting ready for your shower.
You're gathering your clothes and shampoo and creams into a little bundle and are about to open the door to the shower, when it is opened for you. The song that you were softly humming gets stuck in your throat when you register that the door was opened by Jungkook.
A very naked Jungkook.
Your face grows red, and your eyes wander over his gorgeous body, the tattoos that trail up his arm and a few on his waist, God they looked amazing.
Your ogling comes to a stop when he clears his throat. Oh, shit you think - I was staring. You quickly look up and your eyes meet Jungkook's.
He is smirking at you and as soon as you meet his gaze, he lets his own wander over body – taken in the skin that was exposed in your pyjama shorts and a t-shirt that had been small for you since you turned 13 years old.
He looks up and down your body brazenly before meeting your eyes. He licks his lips, and you zero in on it. God it was so annoying that he was this hot.
How could this be happening now? When you had spent a while avoiding him? And him you? Why did this happen after you were thinking of him last night? Oh god you grow red again and you think what if he had heard you? God, that would be embarrassing. You look at his lips again, avoiding his gaze again but maybe his eyes would have been a better option because as soon as you look at his lips, the same filthy thoughts come back to you - you shift uncomfortably trying to calm yourself. In that time, you don't notice but Jungkook has come closer to you.
You register his closeness when a water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek. You move away slightly.
You don’t realise it but in your extended silence of checking each other out the both of you have moved closer to each other. There is no longer what people would call a healthy distance between the two of you anymore. He looks down at you and licks his lips again. His hair is wet and the way he runs his hand through it – he looks so good like this. Your dirty thoughts run wild again. Its only when another water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek that you finally snap out of it. You move a step back.
“You look a little hot strawberry is anything the matter?” He asks you, a teasing lilt on his voice.
It’s way too early for this, you cannot be dealing with this right now, not when your mind has gone on a memory flashback to last night and he was right here in front you, so very naked.
Still, you feign your ever composed self.
“I’m just fine” you say through gritted teeth.
“I need to shower and your kind of standing in my way” you tell him.
He chuckles, a deep chuckle, gosh how are you this horny in the morning? Stop it y/n you think.
“I don't think you really mind though do you strawberry, you seem to have a very different secretive side” he says, cocking his head to the side.
You blush, shit had he heard you?
“I have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook” you say to him “I need to shower though”.
You move to get away from his hearted stare but just before you enter the washroom, a hand grabs onto your wrist and pulls you back.
Jungkook looks at you, a deep and confusing stare.
“Be careful, it’s quite wet in there” he says and then his tongue pokes into the side of his cheek. Then suddenly, he lets you go and walks off to his side of the room, your left in shock at his words and quickly scurry to get into the bedroom before more heated tension breaks through.
You shake your head of all thoughts and quickly go into the shower, what you don’t realise is that you accidently drop something, the note with the raven-haired boy who you had left in the bedroom.
Its later on during this day that Jungkook approaches you.
'Hey strawberry’ he says to you.
You raise your eyebrows at him, what’s with his sudden kindness.
‘hey’ you reply voice dipped in surprised.
‘Oh, shut up, I just came to talk to you’.
You look at him.
‘I didn’t say anything but okay…. talk then’ you gesture your hands between your two bodies.
He lets out an exasperated gasp.
‘The note – did you find one?’ he asks. You still in the next sip of coffee that you were going to take. You feel yourself grow cold. How did he find out?
He looks at you.
‘So, you did’.
‘I didn’t say that’ you say tone slightly higher than normal – you were a terrible liar.
He laughs at you
‘Hmm is that so?’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about Jungkook’.
He looks at you, more serious this time.
“Listen y/n there's no point playing dumb, I found your stupid note anyway”.
You watch mortified as he pulls out the note that you had thought was in your pocket. Well shit then.
“I- I have never seen that before in my life Jungkook” you can't let him know; he would ruin everything - you convince yourself.
He looks at you, he’s getting annoyed that you're lying to him. He pokes his tongue against his cheek again.
“I suggest you stop lying”.
You scoff.
“Why would I ever need to lie to you your nobody to me Jungkook”.
Something akin to hurt flashes across his face for a few seconds before he slams his hands on the table.
“I don’t think you know what you're even getting into strawberry”.
You gather your belongings getting up, you need to get away from him.
“And I don't think you know what the fuck you're talking about Jungkook”.
You walk off leaving him there, but he follows after you,
“Listen I found one too, you don't need to be miss hero or anything”.
You carry on walking, not bothering to give him an answer, he would want to tell the teachers and everyone, they would cancel the trip and then how would you finish gathering your evidence? No, he was insane.
“I don’t know what you're talking about”.
‘you think your so fucking slick, don’t you? Asking around and acting unsuspicious but your wrong I could sense your stupid plan from a mile away’ he says to you, pulling you on your arm effectively stopping you so you can't walk away from him anymore. You struggle out of his hold.
‘and so, what? So, what if you know? What the hell are you going to do Jungkook? Tell on me? Are you going to threaten to tell the teachers because you know what? I’ve been thinking about it and I think they would much rather take my word for yours and all this work I’ve been doing for you – I could easily go right now and show the teachers and say that you forced me to do it!! ’
He looks at you angrily, looks like he is going to swear or curse you out but then his face relaxes.
‘you say that baby, but the truth is I have money and you don’t if I want to manipulate something I can because I have the means and power to do so, my dad's made himself something while yours totted away in the fucking garbage can’.
You feel the anger come over you and he smirks at you.
‘real fucking classy Jeon, yeah insult my parents – like it's their fault they were born into a world where people are born with silver spoons on their mouth, and at least my parents love me Jungkook’
His eyes flash with hurt
‘how do you now my parents don't love me you little bitch?’
You laugh an empty laugh at his face.
‘just look at you – you’re the very definition of boohoo my parents don't love me so I'm going to kick up a mess, so they notice me for once’.
He groans in frustration at your words then.
Somehow amidst your confrontation with Jungkook you had managed to reach your room, why are you here? Why did your feet have to leave you here?
You walk into the room and as soon as he gets in, Jungkook grabs you by the wrist and pins you against the door, your books and pencils fly across the room and while your mortified - he doesn't even bat an eyelid.
Your breathing is both heavy as you look each other in the eyes, waiting for the other to say something.
You struggle against his hold, uselessly, curse him for doing his workout routine every morning.
“You found the fucking note y/n when you went missing in the woods that day, the note that’s in Morse code, the note that you spent a week trying to decode, don't act fucking dumb” he grits out.
You still try and keep up your act,
“I have no clue in the world what you're talking Jeon, I think you're going fucking insane” you seethe out
He growls, yes, he growls.
“Your seriously fucking pissing me off now, I know you did, I know you found it”.
“Fuck off, Jungkook does it look like I care if I am fucking pissing you off”.
He looks into your eyes again and whispers something like “fucking priss” before he is connecting your lips in a kiss, a kiss that is full of ego, passion and heat. You can feel in searing through your body so fiery, setting your nerves alight.
He is relentless in his pace. His mouth against yours and God indeed Jungkook is good kisser. Before you knees grow weak you move your hands to tangle in his hair and you pull at the end causing him groan against his lips, when he does you swipe your tongue into his mouth getting a taste. You pull harder, and he groans again. It was a sound that you know you would like to hear again.
His hands move from the door and one tangles in your hair while the other presses harshly on your waist. You gasp at the pleasure and at this he takes over, he fights your own tongue for dominance and once he wins, he is rough, he wants all his saliva in your mouth, wants his taste on you, wants you to feel him in every way.
When he knows that your just as enthralled by his kisses he pulls back to taunt you - whispering the words against you bruised lips.
“You act like such a fucking little priss don't you? Act like your better than me? Lying to me? Fuck you drive me insane”.
He attacks your neck now, leaving open mouthed kisses along your ear and neck. He nibbles lightly at a few areas and when he gets to just the right place - where your breath hitches and you move your thighs together he bites down harshly without warning and you try you best to suppress your moans. Not wanting to give him any satisfaction.
“I am better than you” you say to him breathlessly, “I don’t just act like it, I am”.
He bites harder at that and you wince - Jungkook is painting you skin wine and purple and your letting him and it feels so goddamn good. He pulls you back by the hair to look at him,
“You don't look much better than me when you are bending at my will, when you're looking so fucked out and I’ve done is fucking kiss you”.
Your answer is swallowed by a moan that you let out as he takes you breasts into his big hands, and squeezes hard, you pull him up from your neck and kiss him again, his lips, your lips bruising and fighting against one another.
He trails his hand down further and dances around the hem of your pants for a while, and you place your own over his, just as your about to lead him further down a knock is heard at your door.
You both freeze
“y/n?” A voice calls out.
You calm yourself before answering, still a little shaky.
“Yes?”
“Our guest speaker has arrived, I just thought you might like to ask him a few questions before he gives his talk”.
Jungkook swears under his breath, raking a hand through his hair.
“You fucking nerd”.
He pulls you back by your pony tail and the back of your head lands on his shoulder, he tilts you slightly, so he has better access to kiss and leave more marks against your skin.
“Ah- I thank you, I’ll come in an ah- while” you say, and you hear the footsteps walk off, Jungkook spins you around and he goes to kiss you again, but you pull away.
“No, just, stop I have to go and talk”.
He looks at you “you fucking nerd” he kisses you once more, like he can't get enough of your mouth.
You pull away again.
uh what in the fuck just happened you think.
This was not meant to happen.
“Look Jungkook, I did, that is my note and I- I’ll, we can talk just not now, okay? I-I have to go. This is important"
He doesn't say anything, just watches as you fix your appearance in the mirror, an appearance he had ruined, and he smirks a little in triumph. He watches as you gather your books that had been thrown onto the floor and he watches as your ass is on display for him and God, he wishes he could grab a handful, but he doesn’t. He just watches.
You walk out the room, without so much as looking at him again and he feels oddly rejected.
He knows that you had felt good, he had heard you groan against his mouth, grind against his clothed member but he hadn't ever been walked out on before. He's not sure what exactly he is feeling. Its not a good feeling - that he was walked out on and for some old ass lecturer too.
He watches the door close, and he sits and waits for you to finish being a nerd. But truthfully it is a little hot to him that you’re so independent, you do things for yourself, your confidence and your wit, it makes you fun, you piss him off, but your company is nicer than the ones that he is used to.
He sighs what the fuck is he getting himself into.
You take a breath as you exit the room,
What in the fuck just happened? you think.
Well, when you promised Jungkook that you would talk to him you hadn't been in your right mind.  Why did you agree to that like fuck? You have no idea what to even say. How do you even start that conversation like...?
"Hey, was just wondering if you would like to you know? Go on a hunt for a serial killer with me?"
Gosh this was so stupid and the kiss, gosh your face heats up as you remember the way he had kissed you - oh so sweet and so naughty!
Gosh you were in bad, as an adult you decide to deal with the problem logically, you'll just ignore him. That will work, Jungkook had a small attention span anyway. You're sure he would forget. You really hope he does.
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ilikemesometaetaes · 3 months ago
Text
Don’t Hold Your Breath ~ jjk
Chapter Seven (M)
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•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes
•••> Summary: As the CEO of an international government security company, you have the world at your fingertips. Living life lavishly and extravagantly has become the norm. Behind closed doors, however, you host a past that renders you lonely and, quite frankly, miserable. It’s only a matter of time before your past comes back to bite you right in the ass.
•••> Pairing(s): Jungkook/Reader, Taehyung/Reader (slight)
•••> Inspo: This fic is inspired by the song “SAVAGE ANTHEM” by PARTYNEXTDOOR. Thank you to @dariangarcia, @btssmutgalore, @itsgottabeyoo-ngs, and @junghoseokit for supporting my work. To my mamas, Kaitlin, Adora, Lauren, and Lanie.
•••> Word Count: 7.03k [Unedited]
•••> Rating: 18+
•••> Tags: Jungkook x Reader | Tattooed!Jungkook | angst | smut | ceo!au | rockstar!au | CEO!Reader | Rockstar!Jungkook | AU!BTS | Exes to Lovers
•••> Warnings: angst, dirty talk, breastplay, nippleplay, sexual teasing, heartbreak, cursing, pining, depression, breakup, emotional instability, arguing, alcohol use | Warnings are written specifically to chapter.
Copyright © 2021 ilikemesometaetaes. All Rights Reserved.
Taglist: @dariangarcia @apurpledheart @itsgottabeyoo-ngs @hytibm @namjinsbaby @ggukkieland @fan-ati–c @aijoukook @jinnfires​ @mwitsmejk​
If you’d like to be added to the taglist, say so in a comment to this chapter or the DHYB Main Page, or send me an ask!
NAVIGATION: Chapter Six (M) <- | -> Next Chapter -> Mini-Masterlist -> Series Masterlist
•••> Official Playlist
~#~
NOW.
Jungkook crushed the empty can in his hand and tossed it over his shoulder.
The resounding clatter of cans was expected, yet the man who sat beside him still jumped in response to the loud crack. He grumbled for a moment, looking over to the younger man in annoyance.
“You could have given me a warning.”
“Your warning was me crushing the can, hyung.” Jungkook chuckled lowly, continuing to keep his gaze firmly locked on his notebook.
Min Yoongi rolled his eyes while he shook his head at Jungkook’s troublesome behavior. The way he had been acting lately was off, completely different from the usually quiet and reserved man he knew before.
Jungkook could care less about the way he was acting. He just needed to keep working.
In the hotel room of his bandmate, sitting at the desk with one knee brought to his chest and the other leg folded beneath him, Jungkook worked on the new song with a level of earnest that Yoongi had never seen on him. Jungkook understood the reason why his older brother was frazzled by the intrusion of such a difference in attitude- and why he was staring at him so intently.
No matter how much he tried to keep working, though, he couldn’t help but feel his older brother’s gaze on him while he scribbled and scratched out lyrics on the piece of paper in front of him. It bothered him.
Jungkook turned in his chair to look at Yoongi who had his portable keyboard, mixtable, and laptop sprawled out in front of him on his bed. Hair disheveled and pajamas already on, he could tell that Yoongi had already turned in for the night when he first walked in. The younger man cocked his eyebrow at his hyung and his hyung shook his head, sighed, spread his lips into a thin line, and then looked back down at his laptop.
It was nine in the evening when Jungkook came barging through his bandmate’s door. Having the key card to all of his bandmates’ rooms served as a helpful tool in times of need- whether he needed support or just someone to hang out with- and it seemed that he was in desperate need of help from the beatmaster.
After urging the inherently grumpy man to get his music-making tools out, Jungkook smiled at the hope of finally getting you to listen to his words. However, as he wrote the lyrics, Jungkook felt the appendages of his butterfly withering and scarred from the swings you took at it. His love for you was ever-present yet trembling under the force of your earlier attack. Jungkook knew that if this plan to win back your friendship failed, it was his last hoorah before he drowned completely.
That night at the club loomed over his mind, making anywhere but the safety of his music-writing dangerous. As soon as his mind drifted from the song- from you- he felt the claws of his past edging closer to his mind. It was an incredibly treacherous and terrifying sensation; the knowing that he could possibly lose the one, true way to get rid of the darkness in his head if his efforts failed chewed through him in ways that left him desperate to keep working.
It had to be perfect because he needed it to work. He needed to be there for you and had an undying obligation to show you that he always would be no matter the price. Until the end of time.
Making that the deciding factor of his song, he wrote out each lyric with as much meaning as he could muster. It was his last effort.
“What key were you thinking about putting this song in?” Yoongi asked once they got to business.
Jungkook thought about the mood of the song. How he wanted to profess everything to you but also show you that he was not who he used to be- that he was different.
“Hmm…” Jungkook sat back for a moment, rifling though his head for a short melody. “I was kind of thinking about making it in C Minor.”
“Sad bitch.” Yoongi muttered, typing a few things into his keyboard. “And why didn’t you go to Namjoon about this? I’m sure he’ll be upset when you complete a song without his guidance.”
“I don’t want Namjoon to touch this.” Jungkook didn’t mean for the statement to come out wrong, but the song wasn’t for BTS to sing. The song was for him to sing to you- the crowd would just happen to be there when he performed it. “I just… This is a special piece. I want this to be mine.”
“Whatever.” Yoongi sighed almost dramatically. Almost. “So, do you have any melodies?”
Jungook looked at the paper again and scribbled more into it with determination, hearing different orders of the chords used in a C Minor key. Unable to form the song properly in his head, he reached over to Yoongi’s black guitar.
After tuning it, he messed around with the chords for about ten minutes until one particular progression had his ears, as well as Yoongi’s, perking up.
“Hey, that actually kind of sounded good. Play that again.” Immediately immersed in making a composition, Yoongi kept his eyes trained on Jungkook’s fretting hand to watch the notes he played. He typed them into his laptop once he identified them.
Ab. Bb. Cm. Gm.
At the time, Yoongi knew that the song was promising, yet he wondered what lyrics Jungkook was writing down to go with the melody of lament. The words meant everything.
Instead of pondering over it further, Yoongi waved his hand to stop Jungkook from playing the notes too much. “Alright, I got it. I’ll see what I can make out of this.”
“Wait, I want to play this with an acoustic. Can you make the backgrounds to fit with that chord progression played acoustically?”
“Acoustically? What, are we a boyband now?” Yoongi deadpanned. He couldn’t believe his ears. Jeon Jungkook, completely emotionless and diehard rockstar who set his guitar and amp to the highest level of distortion, wanted to write an acoustic song. The world must truly be ending.
“No, we’re not. But this song… I feel like it wouldn’t convey the same message if we wrote it to be played how we usually play.” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows and thought about his statement, only to nod in self-affirmation moments later when he imagined the way Hoseok would sometimes lose his shit during his solos and hit his head on his symbols.
“Very well, then.” Yoongi sighed, sliding his headphones onto his head. “I’m creating a background track for an acoustic guitar playing a melody in C Minor. Good god, I never thought this day would come. I feel like I’m about to emerge on stage playing the blues while crying about unrequited love.”
All Jungkook could do was chuckle lightly in response to Yoongi’s grumpiness, thankful that his hyung was thoughtful enough to help him.
By the time he had finished the first verse, bridge, and chorus of his song, it was already three o’clock in the morning and Yoongi had turned crabby.
“I’m too tired for this. This chord progression is going to drive me insane if I don’t go to sleep soon.”
“We can work on it tomorrow if you’re up for it.” Jungkook closed his journal warily yet kept his expression the same so as to not tip Yoongi off to how unstable he was at the moment.
“I am. Just let me get some sleep.” Yoongi shoved all of his things to the foot of his bed and moved to lay down when he noticed that Jungkook was stood awkwardly, facing the door, as if he was hesitating to move. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna ask to sleep with me because that’s where I’m going to have to put my foot down.”
Jungkook smiled and chuckled. “No no, hyung. I was just thinking. Go to sleep.”
Yoongi grimaced once, most likely as a reaction to the weird way Jungkook was acting, before crawling beneath his covers. “Turn off the lights on your way out, yeah?”
Jungkook left the room with a heavy heart, knowing exactly where his mind would go in the coming moments.
‘Sure, we fucked a little and kissed a few times, but that’s all that it was.’
“No.” Jungkook whispered to himself. He panicked. “No. That’s a lie.”
She’s only one woman, you pathetic prick. Get over yourself.
‘What else could I possibly give you? I have nothing left.’
It would be nice to feel her cum around you again, wouldn’t it?
She’s supposed to belong to you. Why does she keep running?
Jungkook gripped the sides of his head as he let Yoongi’s hotel door close behind him, attempting to block out the mixture of your words and the voices coming his way.
Y/N.
He fought against them with you, using the moments that you smiled and laughed as a shield to push against the smog and clear his way through his head again. He remembered all of the times he laid with you, watching you sleep. He recalled how to make you laugh and how you used to sing together.
Your voice wasn’t the greatest to anyone from the outside looking in, but your voice was what put him to sleep on days when the thunderstorms were too much to bear.
“Sh, baby. It’s okay. I’m here.”
Jungkook curled the pillow around his head and folded in on himself to drown out the crackling of thunder outside. You laid beside him in your dorm, rubbing his back and pressing your lips to the nape of his neck.
He trembled as he saw another flash of light from behind his closed eyelids, bracing himself for the imminent crash of thunder that would follow. Softly, you tightened your arms around his waist and pressed yourself up against his back more persistently.
Jungkook whimpered as the resounding boom shook the apartment, lightly causing the bed to vibrate. You held him tightly, shushing his exclamations of distress. Although you knew that the storm outside would bring no physical harm to your boyfriend, you also knew that it was causing more damage to his head than anything else could be.
‘Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces.’
Your voice was barely a whisper, lacking in both bass and volume, creating a melody-less tune that Jungkook automatically and mentally filled with the known-song. His body quaked as he attempted to calm his breathing with your voice so close to his ear.
‘Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been clear.’
Jungkook used your voice as a beacon, drawing himself away from the memory of learning of his family’s fate during a thunderstorm. He thought himself childish, hating the fact that he was afraid of the simple sound. He released the pillow from his knuckle-white grip, curling in on himself harder, and then stretched out an arm to grasp onto the one of yours that was wrapped around his waist. He pressed his cheek harder into the one that laid under his neck and on his chest.
You continued onto the chorus, smiling softly as you heard his breathing beginning to calm. He wished he could sink further back into your embrace and become fused with you, however, he knew that it was impossible with how tightly you held him to your body.
‘Here comes the sun. Do do do do.’
Jungkook fumbled with his phone, scrambling to open his Spotify to play the Beatles song as a spontaneous effort to clear them away.
The beginning guitar plucks had him relaxing against the wall whilst sighing in relief. He didn’t have his headphones on, yet he could already feel himself becoming surrounded by warmth once more, hoping that he would eventually get to hear it coming from you again.
Jungkook huffed for breath and let his head hit the wall. To truly sink into the feeling, he closed his eyes.
By the time the storm passed and the simple pitter-patter of rain hitting the window ensued, Jungkook was calm again. He held onto your arms with a relaxed grip, basking in your presence with the side of his head pressed into the pillows to allow you the room you needed to shower his neck with kisses. He smiled softly with the sensation of love blooming harshly in his chest.
“Are you okay, babe?” You whispered against his skin. A shiver travelled up his spine and left a path of goosebumps in its wake.
He turned in his spot to face you after he lifted your arm from around his waist. Once he returned it to its original spot, he was able to study your features under the slight amount of exposed moonlight.
“I’m okay.” He breathed, the need to appreciate you driving him forward. “Just wanna love on you.”
You giggled as he grasped your face with his hand and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Then to your eyebrows. Then cheeks. And then your entire face. He wanted to thank you in the best way he knew how.
“Your mood changed rather quickly.” You laughed as he kissed your neck and skated his hand up your ribs to slide below your sleep shirt. Jungkook hummed in response while he lightly nudged you to lay on your back.
“Because of you.” He mumbled the words into your collarbone as he let himself slide into position above you, relishing in the way it felt to be where he belonged. He fit against you like the perfect puzzle piece and only when the two of you were against each other like that did he feel complete.
Your breathing had increased sharply by the time he slid your shirt over your breasts, revealing your nipples to him as they hardened from being exposed to the cool air of the room. He hummed softly as he took a breast into his grip and squeezed lightly.
For a few moments, Jungkook just let himself cup it, feeling the way your heartbeat pulsed against his fingertips and palm from below your skin. He breathed deeply and evenly to accept the calm after the storm within his bones.
“You’re such a dude.” Your laugh was breathy then, becoming affected by the headiness of the situation.
Jungkook loved how affected you were by him, giving your breast another light squeeze before releasing it and craning his neck down to place another light kiss on your collarbones. “You know I like to give your titties love too.”
Instead of responding to him, you carded your fingers into his hair and gently scratched your nails on his scalp to return the favor of showing him some love. He sighed heavily, eyelids fluttering shut at the sensation. It only took a few seconds before he was letting his face fall to your bosom so that he could lazily lave his tongue over the swells of your chest while you pet him.
He felt your thighs tremble lightly as you attempted to hide your desire by squeezing his waist with them, but he was no fool. He knew that the two of you were already on the same page when he turned around. Post-storm sex sessions were a regular thing for you. He knew that if he were to reach down and feel you, you’d already have a small amount of wetness just waiting to be spread around.
His tongue curled into the underside of a breast, lightly digging into the tissue. His gums ached with the desire to just slightly nibble them. Instead, he smiled and murmured against them. “Don’t get all shy on me now, baby. Let me love on you.”
Jungkook’s other hand moved to caress the titty that hadn’t had his attention yet, wasting no time in lightly skimming over your nipple. He felt it harden under his attention immediately and he took it as an opportunity to grasp it between his thumb and index finger.
You whimpered almost soundlessly and pressed your fingers more firmly against Jungkook’s neck and into his hair. Once he suckled your nipple in his mouth and proceeded to lave his tongue over it, you arched your back and widened your legs to allow him the room to be where you needed him to be.
Jungkook dropped his body into yours on instinct, curling his hips to nudge himself against your heat. Your feet dug onto the bed as you raised your hips to increase the pressure.
“You want me?” Jungkook lifted his face from your chest to ask, looking up at you as you looked down at him.
“I want you.” You whispered, nodding your head slightly.
Jungkook inched his lips closer to yours and shifted his hips to slide himself against you. “You need me?”
Your face moved forward, magnetized to his own in an attempt to attach itself to it. “I need you.”
Jungkook slid a hand between your bodies to attend to the pulse between your legs and he lightly circled a thumb against your clit once he got it below your underwear. You keened, pulling his face to yours in a kiss full of adoration. He didn’t hesitate to slide two fingers inside of you so that he could stretch you out a little.
You whined and pulled on his hair, kissing his lips more feverishly as he scissored his fingers. All Jungkook was thinking as he kissed you back was how much he fucking loved you.
He wanted to wake up every morning to you. Wanted to cook breakfast and sing for you. He wanted to do everything there was to do in the world with you and for you.
“Jungkook,” You whined. “I-”
The singer was quick to sit back and pull his boxers down to free his dick from its confines. Then, he pulled your panties down your legs and returned to his rightful place between them. He laid another kiss upon your lips as he canted his hips forward to let his dick slide against your folds. You curled your hand around his tattooed bicep, digging your nails into the dragon there.
“You love me?” He strained for control, waiting to hear you say it before he fucked you. He was an impatient man, though. “Tell me you love me, baby. I want to hear it.”
“I love you, Kook. Fuck-” You sucked in air through your teeth when he nudged himself into you just slightly. “I love you so much, baby.”
Jungkook smiled hard against your lips even as he did sinful things to your body. He really loved the sound of that.
~#~
“You- uh…” Yoongi was careful to prod the younger man, not wanting him to flip the script and turn his obsessive need to produce the song into frustration on himself. He was just trying to help. “You should probably get some sleep.”
Jungkook was quick to shake his head, the exhaustion of the two previous days catching up with him so badly that he became discombobulated as he did so. Still, he knew he had to finish it- for you.
“I can’t.” The mention of rest had his eyes drooping slightly, yet he brought his hands to his face and rubbed at his eyes until he was satisfied with his way of waking himself up.
Yoongi tilted his head slightly, mildly concerned. “Why?”
Jungkook waited until he was finished scribbling some of the words for the second verse before he turned to look at his hyung. “I just… can’t.” He had no idea how to say his thoughts aloud despite desperately wanting to. Yoongi stayed silent, giving Jungkook the time to elaborate after he saw the look of continuation and unsatisfied frustration on his face.
“Hyung, I…” Yoongi listened closely and patiently to the boy, realizing that he was very much still just that- a boy. “I can’t call her. Or hold her. I can’t do anything except watch as she passes me by.”
The beat master was shocked to find that Jungkook’s conflict was still, indeed, about you. Frankly, he had missed having you around, however, once your relationship with Jungkook came crashing down and you proceeded to become a forbidden subject amongst the members of the band, he settled that he was the only one who wished to know what you were up to.
With the new development of finding out that you were very much still in the picture for Jungkook, Yoongi couldn’t help but finally realize that the lyrics of his new song tied directly to the issues of your doomed relationship.
“If you play your cards right, Kook…” Yoongi hadn’t called the youngest one the nickname in ages. “You will be able to do all of that again.”
The next day started in silence. Jungkook knew that you’d be leaving your hotel before he did and he was unsure if he could handle watching you walk out of his life again. He needed to do something to make it right. Anything.
He leaned against his window, overlooking the Hudson bay, and sighed a deep exhale. His breath against the glass caused a small spot to fog up where he then, mindlessly, rose his arm and touched a tattooed finger, drawing a small heart.
Jungkook’s solo song played quietly from his phone on the nightstand as he got used to the finished version all the while silently wallowing in a confusing state of being unstable and being in love. Jungkook knew by that point, having finished his song, that he still had feelings for you. There was no doubt about it as he regarded the fact that he had just written another song for you despite all of the years that had passed.
Writing a song for you was the easy part. He could express his feelings for you in a song no problem.
The hard part was getting you to attend a concert so that you could hear it. He knew that you never wanted to go to one again because of the spite that took over your mind. He felt bad for the rest of the boys- he really did- because he had been the reason that you cut the rest of them off. You cut off your own friends simply because they were also friends with him so of course he felt bad for them.
Jungkook understood the reasoning behind your actions, though. He had done them himself when he got famous and cut off all of his old friends when they tried to attach themselves for reasons other than pure friendship. The singer shook his head at the thought and cast his eyes upon the water again.
The Hudson River was beautiful from afar as the rising sun’s rays caused it to sparkle, yet he knew that the water was filthy. He knew waste polluted the water and made it dirty, uninviting, and uninhabitable for much of the life around it. Strangely, it reminded him of himself.
His self-confidence and self-worth were so low that he found that he had a likeness to the river. Everyone loved to look at it and to take pictures of it, yet when it came down to the details and specifics of it, it was poisoned with chemicals and trash and ugliness.
What’s the whole point of being beautiful on the outside when it’s just so ugly on the inside? Jungkook frowned and continued his stare on the water with a new set of eyes.
The river came from a clean source. He knew this because he had stayed up late one evening before arriving in New York, falling down a rabbit hole of Youtube videos. Lake Tear of the Clouds was the most elevated pond in the state of New York that required people to hike for half a day just to get to it. Untouched by mankind, it was clean, pure mountain runoff that made it the uncontaminated headwaters of the Hudson. Despite the filth and garbage within the river as it flowed next to New York City, it was clean once.
Jungkook chuckled at the notion. He used to be pure and naive. He used to think the world of the people around him once upon a time. Then, he decided to take a trek through life, only to get dirty and adulterated in the process. It was life that ruined him.
But then, there came the band. There came the ones he knew would take care of him. There came Taehyung and Yoongi and Namjoon- and you. The lot of his friends made him a little less fucked up on the inside; a river that was dirty from the wellspring needed outside help for it to be clean again. He couldn’t become clean on his own as the river of life within him was no longer flowing from a clean source.
He wasn’t a good person anymore, yet the people around him made him get that much better at repenting and fixing that. Why he hurt you and why he let you go was lost on him.
Instead of pondering further on the river, he backed away from the window, dressed, and pulled out his phone to contact the one person he knew would help him fix things.
~#~
“Thanks for meeting with me so early.” Jungkook grumbled the words, unused to expressing gratuity yet knowing that that had to change too. “This is a nice place.”
“I came here with her.” Taehyung sat across from the lead singer with a cup of coffee in his hand, already getting to the point of the conversation. He had no time to waste in helping to mend broken things. “She sat where you did.”
“She did?” Jungkook looked down between his spread legs at the surface of the chair that you once sat upon.
“Yeah, a couple nights ago.” Jungkook could see that the older man was hesitant to speak with the way he pulled his lips between his teeth. A beat of silence passed before he continued. “She wasn’t doing so well.”
“No? Why?”
“It was the night you went and talked to her.”
“What did she say?” Jungkook asked.
Taehyung shook his head scornfully. “A lot of things.”
The barista standing behind the register called someone’s name and the other turned on the coffee machine, increasing the volume of the ambience around the two men. As the sound level increased, the men took an already-needed break in conversation until it passed, collecting their thoughts in the process. One man hung his head in shame and sighed a long breath while the other moved his gaze to the street in deep thought.
Taehyung spoke again. “You fucked up big time, man.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Jungkook snapped the statement and immediately recoiled at his tone- and the way Taehyung cocked his eyebrow in a way that asked really? “Sorry.”
“As I was saying, you fucked up big time, but you know this. At least you’re self-aware.”
Jungkook nodded his head silently with his lips screwed shut to prevent any more smartass comments from leaving them. He didn’t know what to say to the statement anyway. Instead, he picked up his coffee and took a ginger sip.
“Are they still there?” Taehyung asked the question circumspectly, cautious of the subject. Jungkook knew that he was talking about the affliction of his mind.
The younger man froze yet tried to brush off the sensation of being carefully prodded. The coffee burned on his bottom lip but he was slow to pull it away as he grappled for control. Jungkook bit his tongue for a moment at the reminder of the things going on in his head.
“Yeah.” He mumbled. “They’re still there.”
“I see…” Taehyung trailed off into silence, thinking back on the plaguing thoughts that affected his longtime friend. He realized, then, that Jungkook first told him about the voices over seven years prior. He remembered Jungkook was fresh out of the military and a freshman in university then.
Silence laid between the men again, making for an awkward exchange when they looked at each other.
“Tae,” Jungkook wanted to change the subject quickly. “I- I wrote a song.”
“Oh? What key?” The bassist was glad to lighten the mood while still talking about Jungkook’s rampant emotions. It had been a long time since the singer wrote something and he knew that the man used it as his expression.
“C minor.”
Taehyung chuckled and slowly spun his mug on the table. “Sad bitch.”
The younger man laughed softly with him. “Yoongi-hyung said exactly the same thing to me. I’m not even kidding.”
“Sounds like something he would say.”
Jungkook took another sip of his coffee before placing it back down on the table. He inhaled slowly in preparation for what he was about to say.
“It’s why I need your help.”
Taehyung was quick to respond to the man’s statement with his own questions. “My help? What do you mean? Do you need me to record a bass line for it?”
“Not exactly.” Jungkook raised his hand to rub the back of his neck. “The song is already finished. It’s acoustic. I need your help with something else.”
“If it’s finished and it’s acoustic- which, by the way, is odd- why do you need my help?” Taehyung had an idea of what the singer needed, but he still wanted him to say it out loud so that he wasn’t jumping to conclusions.
“Because I wrote it only for her and I want her to know it.”
Taehyung sat back in his seat with finality. He knew he should have expected it being that many of the songs Jungkook wrote were about you. Despite this, Jungkook had never gone out of his way to ensure that you heard them.
That, and he knew that you never, under any circumstance, listened to BTS anymore.
With sudden determination, Taehyung leaned forward. “So, you want to play for her? How are you going to go about doing that?”
“I… I wanted to try to get her to come to a concert again, but I know that I’m not nearly close enough with her to ask her to do that. That’s why I need your help.”
“You need me…” Taehyung quirked an eyebrow, speaking his thought process aloud. “… to ask her to come to a concert? You think she’ll want to come even though it’s me asking?”
Jungkook leaned forward and rested his arms on the table, locking eyes with his brother. “You’re my only chance that she will.”
Taehyung took in the information, realizing that Jungkook was right. If you were to ever attend a concert again, it would only be for someone else- not for you.
“I’ll do it.” The older man said. “But, if she bites my throat out, I’m blaming you for my murder.”
Jungkook smiled softly and laughed halfheartedly, relaxing in his chair just slightly from Taehyung’s agreement to help. “I’ll take the blame. It’s the least I can do for her.”
After a few minutes without words spoken, Taehyung decided to try giving his brother some of the situational reigns.
“She leaves tomorrow afternoon, you know. It’s not too late to go speak with her.”
Jungkook sighed, hating the idea of you leaving, yet he knew that he could not show his face in front of you until he could properly express the words he failed to communicate with simple conversation. He was always bad at making conversation. It would have to be through his music that he tried to open your heart again.
“I know, but I don’t want to risk sending her further away. I always fuck shit up when I open my mouth.”
“You got that shit right, fucker.” Taehyung scoffed.
“You don’t have to confirm it, asshole.”
“Yes the fuck I do, dick.”
~#~
“I’m going to miss you, Tae.”
Taehyung smiled as he set his glass down on the counter before turning his body to face you. “You haven’t even left yet.”
You sat with your legs crossed, letting your back slump against the back of the barstool after an hour of spending time with your former best friend in the hotel’s bar. It was a nice, calming evening for the two of you, especially when you had just broken down in front of him after another series of flashbacks- again- the night prior when you went out for ice cream.
Ahead of the game, you reserved the bar for just him and you. There were no prying eyes now.
“I know I haven’t.” You whined. “But it just feels weird to be leaving you when you just came back.”
“I’m always one phone call and flight away. You know that.” Your friend’s mouth turned down at one corner to communicate his displeasure with the issue that was your busy schedules.
“I know, Tae. I know.”
The bassist turned his body back to the counter and slouched over his drink, twirling his finger around the rim in obvious thought. You turned your own body to face the counter and took a swig of your tequila. An elephant was obviously in the room.
“I spoke with him this morning.”
You paused for a brief second as you were setting your glass back down on the counter. The way your heart kickstarted into a nervous rhythm was shameful.
“What did he say?” Your voice was quiet under the pressure of the news. It became a reminder that you were, indeed, that close to speaking with Jeon Jungkook. A single person between the two of you remained.
Taehyung huffed and you turned your head at the sound, immediately noticing his grimace. “This will be the last time I play messenger. I swear to everything fucking holy, you guys are like teenagers.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I said what I meant and I meant what I said.” He replied. “You said you wanted to talk to him again, right? Why don’t you do that?”
Your response was immediate. “I can’t face him.”
It was true; you couldn’t face him without seeing the woman sucking him down while he did nothing to stop her. You blamed him for the pain and the hurt; you blamed yourself for being blind to the red flags and letting it go on for so long. Seeing his face would just reintroduce the torture that was loss and shame.
“You’ll have to if you want to even attempt moving on. If things come to an end, they come to an end; you need that closure.”
You couldn’t lie. The idea sounded nice. The thought of a future where you weren’t plagued with thoughts of the man who broke your heart was very much enticing, but the path to get there was utterly terrifying and way too intimidating to consider much further.
“I was never good at talking about things like that, Tae.” You muttered.
“Yeah,” Taehyung laughed feebly. “I know. That needs to change or else you’ll never stop feeling like that.”
“How do I get over this…” You hesitated in your question, searching for the right words. “… this… feeling? It’s like the world is going to cave in on itself and I’m going to be the only one sucked down- and I want to be the only one sucked down.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see your friend pause in his small ministrations on his glass. You only assumed that he was taking in the words you had just said.
“You-” Slowly, he turned to face you. “You want to be sucked in? Why?”
You turned your head in his direction yet avoided his gaze by zoning out as you continued to search for the words to say. “Because I’m sick of feeling and not feeling. I want to feel good and I want to live a good life where I’m not constantly thinking about what I could still have if I just learn to let go and move on.”
Your heart twisted at your own words as if speaking them aloud turned them back into reality of the sensation.
Taehyung frowned. “Then don’t.”
“Don’t what?” You looked at him quizzically.
“Don’t think about what you could have. Think about what you already have.” Taehyung said the words softly and cautiously, as if he was suggesting something dangerous.
“Easy for you to say; you’re a fucking millionaire.” You chided. “You have everything you could want.”
“Not… everything…” He winced. “But that’s besides the point. Think about your company and the friends you have- fucking Brian! Think about Brian and the world you’ve built for the people around you.”
Taehyung continued to talk as you turned back to your alcohol. “You built up your empire all on your own. You relied on no one but yourself and your intelligence. That was all you, love.”
“I had tons of help.” You tried to remedy his statement. “If it weren’t for some of my higher-ups, I wouldn’t have anything.”
“Y/N, your higher-ups boosted you, sure, but you’re the one that impressed them.” Taehyung placed a hand on your shoulder comfortingly. “You were the one to gain their confidence and trust. You were the one who worked hard and showed them that you were worth it. They showed you the door but you were the one who opened it and went through.”
As hard as it was to accept his compliments, he was right. You had done all of your connection-building on your own. Your boss back in Korea would have never brought you to that conference if he didn’t think you were capable of handling yourself.
“Well, sure, but-”
“No ‘but’s. You’re a fucking baller and I’m right. Deal with it.” Taehyung quipped, smirking playfully as he raised his glass to his lips.
“Shut up.” You grumbled, defeated. Your friend laughed in response.
Quietude situated in the room once more, making for an environment that you could get comfortable in while the slight edge of an alcohol buzz tickled your veins. Enough time had passed without speaking that you could finish your drink with no interruptions. R&B music played lightly over the speakers and you relaxed into the moment of your last night seeing Kim Taehyung before you returned to your normal life.
“Y/N,” Taehyung said suddenly.
“Taehyung,” You mocked.
“When was the last time you came to a concert?”
“Years.” You laughed. “You know I don’t even listen anymore.”
Taehyung placed a hand to his chest and gasped in what seemed to be false pain. “Ouch. That stung a little.”
“I’m sorry, but you know why I don’t. Going to a concert is a whole different ball game too.”
“Well, would you go to one if I asked you to?” Taehyung propped his elbow on the counter and then leaned his face on his hand. “Because our music is so much better than it was before.”
You sighed dramatically. “Your music was always good, Tae. That’s not the reason why I stopped going to your concerts and you know that.”
“I know, Y/N, but we’re making music that I’m super proud of. I love what we’ve done with our genre and I just want you to be a part of that again.”
“Are you sure you’re not just trying to gain another fan so you can get more famous?”
Instead of laughing at your joke, Taehyung retained his serious expression, eyebrows furrowed and lips twisted into the slightest of scowls. Internally, you winced at the poor taste of your words. “Y/N, please. Please come to a concert. Any one of them. We have like fifteen more shows this season. You can come to any of them.”
Taehyung continued talking while pulling one of your hands into his own, overlapping it with the other. “I’ll pay for your flight and hotel and everything if you need me to. I just want you there.”
You didn’t get why he was so pleading. You would have simply said yes again if he asked again. Taehyung going the extra mile to get you to attend a concert was perplexing.
“O…kay…” You raised an eyebrow at the man. “You don’t have to do all that, but I’ll let you know. My schedule will be super busy for the next few weeks.”
“That-” He sucked in a breath, eyes wide and quickly becoming bright. “That wasn’t- that wasn’t a no!”
The man beamed a smile of joy at you and you couldn’t help but smile in response. It was much too infectious to resist the emotion when it came from him. Why was he so happy that you agreed?
“It wasn’t a no.” You confirmed, grinning.
With no warning, Taehyung pulled you from your seat into a hug. You stumbled slightly in the process, but his grip was strong enough to keep you standing as he pulled you between his spread legs to crush you against his chest. For a moment, you hesitated in your movements, but you brushed off the disinclination and pressed your hands to his back and rested your cheek onto his chest. He felt like home.
It wasn’t the sort of home that involved morning kisses and cuddling and sensual love. The sensation was drastically different. Instead, you felt warmth and support and unconditional love that could only be felt from a friend or brother. His arms around your shoulders and his ever-present heartbeat against your ear was the sound of safety and wild road trips into the mountains. A cooling breeze on a hot summer day to ease the sweltering heat of the sun. A warm blanket wrapped around your body as you enjoyed a cup of hot chocolate while snow twinkled past your window onto the ground.
Kim Taehyung was that person.
“Thank you.” He breathed into your hair. You could only bathe in the embrace of your friend, squeezing your arms tighter around the person who brought the idea of peace and serenity back into your life.
“Only for you.” You whispered.
~#~
Sorry for the wait! Thanks for reading! Check out my masterlist for a bunch of my other stuff if you’d like :)
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tae-cup · 7 months ago
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It Could Be Worse
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Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader
Summary: It could always be worse....just kidding, this was definitely the worst. 
Genre: Enemies to lovers, roommates au, angst, fluff ending
Warnings: swearing, mutual hate, angsty angsty, mutual pining, fluffy though!!, sad stuff :( 
Rating: PG
Word Count: 7.4k Words
A/N: For @birbdae​​! Surprise (?)! I’m your secret admirer! Remember those times I said I was supposed to be writing but I played roblox...this was what i was supposed to be writing...love you! Also @dnrequests​ thank you so much for the banner you talented queeen!!! Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!!
Other: Masterlist
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     You missed the train. Your alarm hadn’t gone off, your coffee was spilled on your white blouse, and you were standing, drenched in caffeine, on the platform, watching as the train pulled away. 
     It had been bad enough that the moving truck had called to tell you they were lost and no where near your new apartment, bad enough that your mother fell ill, and bad enough that no one was around to help you with your stuff. And now your train was pulling away, growing farther and farther out of sight. 
“It could be worse.” You huffed to yourself, readjusting your bag and shifting your cold, half spilled, coffee to the other hand. At this point you had more caffeine on your body than in it. 
     You marched over to the help desk and leaned on the counter. The man inside was on the phone. He held up a finger and you nodded in understanding, waiting patiently. It was awkward, just standing there and waiting for the call to end, so you decided to step to the side. It always felt weird when people stood staring at you, so you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. 
    At that moment however, a bickering family descended from the staircase like a bad omen. The children looked like little demons, clinging to their tired mother’s clothing while the father was dressed in a business casual suit. He easily walked up, tapped harshly on the desk, and the man inside hung up, turning to answer their questions.
      Your curled and uncurled your fingers, annoyance slowly mounting, but your parents had always said that yelling and anger was never the way to solve anything, so you stayed quiet, moving behind the family. You looked at your phone. 
     You were already late, but the moving people weren’t anywhere near your new apartment, so you supposed you had time. The only issue would be your new roommate as you had told them you would be there any minute now. You anxiously bit your lip, looking to the sky as if that had any clues. 
Hey. Sorry, I’m going to be late. Missed the train. You sent them quickly and they replied with a thumbs up. 
Yeah, no problem. It happens :) 
     You felt a smile creep up your face. A loud achem made you look up. You saw the family had left and the man inside the booth was looking expectantly at you. 
“Sorry!” You squeaked, stepping forward to ask your question. “Hi, yes, I need to take the train that goes to Seoul-”
“The next train is in an hour.” 
“An hour?” Your mouth hung open. You didn’t have time for that! “Uh, right, sorry, thank you, I’m just...gonna..go-” You scooted out of the way and rushed up the stairs to the left. 
     You were deposited on the street and you looked around. Going by car would take a while, but at least you could get there before the train arrives again. Plus, you felt really bad about making your new roommate wait. After all, they had said they would greet you outside and you did not want to keep them standing alone. It was cold! 
     You waved your hand, jumping over the crowd of other people wanting a taxi. Each one passed you by, one after another. You watched the minutes tick by, taxis zooming past you. You let out a frustrated groan, but kept at it. An hour passed, you gave up.
     The train pulled into the station and you clambered down the stairs, exhausted. Your phone was on low battery. The only respite you had was that the train had plugs so you could at least charge your phone. 
     You rested your head on the glass, but at the train left the station, you couldn’t sleep. It was too rough and the vibrations of the glass hurt your skull. The sun was setting perfectly, the orange hues coloring the sky. The angle was wonderfully directed right at your eyes. You slowly sat up. It could be worse. It could be worse. You chanted. At least you get to live in Seoul. 
     You sat up straighter. This day could definitely be up there with your worst days. But it could be worse. When you finally arrived at your apartment, absolutely drained, the chill of the night seeping through your sweater, smelling of coffee and looking like an actual garbage can, you dropped your bags on the sidewalk next to the apartment.
     Your roommate exited the house to greet you with a smile, a smile that instantly turned into a scowl. You matched this easily. 
“Jungkook.” You gritted out. He mirrored your horror. 
“Are you my roommate?” And the pure disgust in his face made the anger boil harder than before. He had no right to look at you like that. 
“8729 Insadong-gil?” You asked, now plain confusion making its way up your throat. 
“This is the place.” 
“Fuck!” 
     Just kidding. This was definitely the worst day. 
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 “Are you kidding me?” You whispered furiously into the phone.
     You crouched outside on the front steps to your apartment. Jungkook was inside, chilling and warm, while you sat, freezing, trying to get a hold of your friend. You could barely look at him without feeling anger or this sense of dread. 
“Jisoo, you’ve got to be kidding me!” You hissed when she finally picked up. “Jungkook is my roommate?! Why didn’t you tell me?” 
“Oh my god.” She breathed on the other side. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea. It was Hoseok’s idea.” 
“I don’t care about your boyfriend’s idea, just get me out of here.” 
“But there’s no other apartments nearby! And you said this was close to your work, so I just thought you could make it work-”
“No!” 
     She sighed and you heard her shift her phone to her other ear. 
“Y/N.” She started and you groaned, knowing it was her lecture voice. 
“Jungkook is not that bad-”
“He hates me! I hate him!” 
“-and he does not hate you. I mean, wasn’t he nice when he didn’t know it was you?” 
“I mean...yeah. But now he definitely knows it’s me.” 
“Just give it a shot and call me in a month, I’ll see if I can find anything else.” Then, you heard her start to yell at Hoseok before she hung up. 
     You shivered, picking up your bags and pushing through the door. Your bags slipped from your hands as you moved in, the door repeatedly opening and closing on your face. Your hair was messed, strands flying everywhere as you tried to kick open the door. 
      You gasped for breath. Jungkook sat on the couch, playing games. He looked up, eyes moving to look at your struggle. He huffed and went back to his games. Your stomach curled uncomfortably with anger as you watched him ignore you. You pushed in finally, slamming your bags down. He pulled down his headphones, looking at you incredulously. 
“What’s your problem?” He demanded. 
“Thanks for the help.” You grumbled, making your way to the first bedroom in sight. 
    You saw his clothing already sprawled along the floor, so you moved to the other one. More boxes were in there. 
“Which one is my bedroom?” You called. 
“Uh, well one is my gaming office and workout area and the other can be yours.”
“There’s only two bedrooms, Jungkook.”
He shrugged. “Figure it out.”
“Thanks.” You snapped, setting your stuff down in the ‘workout and gaming office’. 
    Then you slowly began lugging out the equipment. You didn’t have the energy to move the gaming desk so you just left it. 
“Don’t come in to game while I’m sleeping or something.” You shouted, poking your head out. 
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” 
    You furrowed your eyebrows, huffing in annoyance, and shut your door with a bang.
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     Blinding light. Had you died? You cracked your eyes open slowly. Voices. Were you in heaven? You really hoped you were, it would be better than this hell hole. Alas, you had not died in your sleep and death had not taken you away in its comforting arms. You slowly sat up and wearily looked at the time. 
      It was 3 A.M. 
“Jungkook, what the hell are you doing?” You barked, your voice gruff. 
     He turned around innocently, snacking loudly on a bag of chips while colorful images of people blowing up flashed on his screen. 
“I just wanted to check on shmomething and them my fwriends wanned po pway so-” 
“Jesus, Jungkook, just finish chewing.” You snapped. 
      He swallowed and wiped the crumbs off his lips. 
“Sorry.” He said lamely. 
“Yeah you said that last time I saw you too.”
His eyes darkened and he huffed loudly looking away. “I didn’t want this either.”
“I don’t care. Just get this out of my room by the time I wake up.”
“I’ll think about it.”
     You nodded solemnly and then rolled over. 
“You’re so freaking annoying.” You grumbled unhappily, shoving a pillow over your face.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
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     You woke up again to the sound of shouting and the kettle brewing. You blindly groped around for the light and clicked it on. The morning light was slowly making its way across the floorboards and the soft yellow glow of your lamp chased away the darkness. 
    You blinked a couple times, trying to get rid of the fogginess. You looked to your left and saw the desk was cleared. Obviously, this was good because he respected your wishes, on the other hand, you hated the thought of him coming and going while you slept. 
      You stretched out and made your way to your bathroom, brushing your hair and quickly checking your appearance. After a while, you just shrugged. What did it matter? It was your house too. 
     You trudged out to the kitchen and living room. Jungkook was already shouting at the TV, his headphones on and game controller in hand. You checked the time. 9:00 A.M. You internally groaned and headed for the kitchen to get breakfast. 
“Isn’t it a bit early to be playing video games?” You asked, but he didn’t hear you.
     You sighed and poured the milk into your bowl of cereal. Then you moved to the couch, setting down your bow. His gaze moved from the screen to you, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. 
     You grabbed the remote quickly and shut off the game, switching it to a channel you enjoyed. This caused an instant reaction. His protests fell on deaf ears as he wildly dove towards you where you held the remote out of reach. You stood, easily dodging and he flopped sadly on his side, a pout on his face.
      It was endearing, but then you remembered this was Jungkook. The cocky, son of a bastard, captain of the varsity basketball team in high school. It made your smile immediately drop at the memory. 
“You’re like my mom.” He whined. “Why did I ever want to live with someone?” 
“Your good guy persona faded really quick and it’s only been a day, brat.” You growled back, sitting at the kitchen counter and hunching over your bowl.
     You angrily shoveled spoonfuls of cereal into your mouth, loudly chewing, and scrolling through your phone for other available apartments. 
“When’s work for you?” 
“It starts at 9.” You responded mindlessly. 
“Isn’t it 9:30 right now?” 
     You slammed your phone down and snapped your neck around to face him. You stared at him, wide eyed. Shit. 
Then he smiled a shit eating grin. “Just kidding! It’s Saturdae. Gotcha.” 
“Fuck you.” 
“Isn’t that what you’d like to do?” 
“Shut up!” You gasped. “You really haven’t changed at all.” 
His eyes scanned you up and down critically. “You haven’t either, princess.” 
“What? You want to be my prince charming or something?” You rolled your eyes. His eyebrows shot up and he held out his hands. 
“Oh, god, no.” He laughed. “I’m definitely the evil queen in this story.” 
“I miss being able to eat breakfast alone.” 
“Me too.” 
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 “Why did you even drag me out here?” Jungkook complained, placing his head on the handle of the shopping cart. 
“Because it’s more efficient if we get the grocery shopping done in one trip and I offered to do it myself but you refused to give me your shopping list.” You huffed, reaching up to pick out carrots. 
“I didn’t want you poking around in my business.” 
“What kind of business do you have at the grocery store?” You sighed, exasperated. 
“Maybe I just like making your life hard.” 
“Congrats, it’s working.” You felt your blood boiling, but you kept it down. Your voice remained low, dangerously low, like the growl of an animal. 
“I know.” He said cockily. “Here, need help?” He reached over you and plucked the first batch of carrots out. 
“Thank you, Queeney, but these carrots are no good.” You stated, putting them back. He gaped. 
“B-but, all carrots are the same!” He sputtered. 
“That’s factually untrue, Jungkook. Maybe if you’d paid attention in biology, you would have known that these carrots,” You stood on your tip toes, grabbing a bunch. “Are genetically superior.” 
“Really?” He titled his head, eyebrows furrowed together. He grabbed the bundle and turned them around. “They look the same?” 
“Oh my god you’re a dumbass.” You said, not even shock, just in a defeated statement.
     It had been a few weeks, but you had still been nervous around him. Now, you just found yourself flabbergasted. 
“Am not!” He argued, following you as you moved forward. 
     An hour of bickering later, you arrived at the register. All he’d gotten was a set of pudding cups and you highly doubted he could last a week on those. 
“Jungkook, we’re over budget.” You murmured unhappily, staring at the number. 
“It’s just five dollars over.” He glanced over for a second before returning to his phone. 
“I planned it meticulously.” You whined. 
“That doesn’t seem like a good idea.” He said plainly. 
“It works for me!” 
“But job security can always change. Things can always change.” He pointed out and you had to admit he had a point. 
“Put back your pudding cups.” You said easily, placing your veggies and chips onto the conveyer belt. 
“No way! That’s the one thing I got!” 
“And you’re not going to sustain yourself on pudding all week. We’re adults now, you have to make healthy decisions.” 
“Put back your chips.” He retorted. 
“No. If you do the math, we’d still be over. It’s the pudding cups.” You whispered, not wanting to make a scene, but Jungkook was determined to do just that. 
    The tension rose. He narrowed his eyes, you narrowed yours. After a few seconds, you grabbed the chips and stormed back to the aisle you found them. 
“You better only eat pudding cups for the next week.” You threatened, grabbing the shopping bags and stomping out the door. 
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      He was going to be sick. Big time. His eyes tracked you across the kitchen, feeling jealous and his stomach feeling just awful. Of course his pride got in the way. Now Jungkook was watching you prepare a feast of pizza, pasta, and rolls. 
      He took another tasteful scoop of pudding and sucked it down. He felt his stomach rumble unhappily, turning over in a disgusting sensation. He burped uncomfortably and you looked up from your pot of noodles and raised a questioning eyebrow. 
     The young man shook his head and artfully placed a hand on his mouth, begging to keep the gelatinous substance in his stomach. Jungkook was this close to getting on his knees and begging you for a bowl of noodles. He was sure you were the goddess of torture and suffering. 
     You had somehow made a delicious, gourmet, meal for every single meal. Every. single. day. of the week. It was now a day until the next shopping trip and you were honestly surprised he’d lasted this long. 
      Jungkook licked his lips mindlessly and set down his flimsy plastic pudding cup. He was going to be sick, he was sure of it. Ego be damned. 
“Y-Y/N?” He stuttered miserably. You looked up, innocently smiling. 
“Yes?” 
“C-can I h-have some of those noodles?” He asked, eyes watering at the thought of having something other than pudding. 
“Nope!” You continued cheerfully. 
    You were most certainly going to be the end of him. He slid out of his seat at the counter and went to the other side, slumping to his knees. Your eyebrows shot upwards. 
“Please.” He whispered. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you.” 
“Please!” He shouted. 
“Aw, but you only have a couple more bites of pudding left.” You said with mock displeasure. 
At the sound of pudding, his stomach curled. “No! Don’t bring up that cursed substance!” He cried. 
“Really?” You pouted and reached over, grabbing the cup. “Come on, just a couple more bites.” 
“I can’t do it!” 
“Maybe you should get real food next time, then, Queeney.” 
You nudged the container in his direction again. His nose crinkled. “Stop! Stop! Okay! I get it. You’re right, you’re right-” 
    You didn’t get much time to celebrate your victory before pudding from Jungkook’s stomach was splattered on your socks and across the floor. You shrieked and jumped back. Jungkook began crying and he fell backwards, his tears streaking down his face. 
“Please!” He, quite literally, sobbed. 
“Okay, okay.” You said hurriedly. 
    You almost wanted to leave him there but you just couldn’t. You grabbed paper towels, quickly taking care of the mess of the floor. Then you crouched next to him and hooked your arms under his armpits. 
    You slowly dragged him to the couch and heaved him up. You gently cleaned his chin and lips, your fingers stroking the smooth surface of his skin. He watched you through dazed eyes. 
“No more pudding, please.” He whispered weakly. 
“At least you got it out of your system, no pun intended.” You chuckled softly and checked his temperature with the back of your hand. “Ah, you have a fever. A pudding overdose I suppose.” You stood from your crouched position and went about making dinner. For the first time in almost a week, you made two bowls. 
    You also poured some ginger ale into a glass over ice for him to help soothe his stomach. You handed him the bowl and he began eating ravenously. He couldn’t open his mouth wide enough. You watched him in fascination. No more words were exchanged. 
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     It was easy to forget. It was easy to let your guard down. Jungkook had left scars in your heart and it just didn’t seem fair that he could be the one trying to close them up again. They were old scars, far past the point of being scabbed over. They were a part of you. 
     No amount of makeup or clothing could hide the wounds. Sometimes you wondered if people saw them when they looked at you, but they always looked right on through to the other side as if you weren’t there.
     That’s what you wished had happened that dreadful night. You shook off the feeling. Those memories were boxes you didn’t want to unpack, like the ones stacked menacingly in the corner of your room. Now Jungkook stood with his doe eyes and his mouth twisted in a thoughtful look.
“I don’t know, Y/N, black or gray?” Jungkook held up two cans of paint. 
“It’s your room, Jungkook.” You said, typing away at a text on your phone. 
“Yeah, but you live there too.” 
    Your eyes flickered up to his face for a second before turning back to the screen. “Right.” You answered uneasily. “It’s not like I’m ever going to go into your room.” 
“You never know.” 
“You know there was a time when I would have liked to, but not now.” You said cheerily, placing your phone back into your back pocket. Jungkook followed after you as you moved to the register. “Get both. Paint your room in stripes or whatever.” 
“Stripes?” 
“Yeah, whatever.” You continued grumpily, paying for the cans out of habit before realizing he should have bought them. 
   He didn’t seem to notice and you just ticked this off on the mental checklist of things you found annoying. 
“Great idea, Y/N. You always have the best ideas.” 
“Then you should have shown up that night, Jungkook.” You fired back. 
    Oh no, the memories were bubbling up your throat like bile. The words you sought to shout at him, the tremors of your hands, shaking like an earthquake. 
     He paused, seemingly dazed and lost in thought. Then he gently put a hand on your shoulder. You didn’t even realize how tensed they’d been. You relaxed, rolling out your neck and casually stretching your arms. 
“I know.” He said sadly. 
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 “Jungkook! Clean up your fucking socks! This is the fifth time!” You shouted, slamming open his door. He turned around, clueless, in his chair. He pushed off his headphones. 
“What?” 
“Do it right now or so help me god-”
“Wha-”
    You threw his socks down onto the ground and crossed your arms unhappily. He looked to the ground where the dirty socks lay helplessly on the floor to your fuming face. He then had the audacity to smirk. Smirk! Oh, wrong move, buddy. His blinding white bunny teeth flashed you a lopsided smile. 
“Why do I need to clean them up when every time you come in and slam them down anyway?” 
“Why-you!” You gaped. 
“It’s true.” He continued slyly. 
“It’s like a hurricane of clothing goes through this apartment every time you come home! What are you even trying to do, mark your territory?” 
“Maybe I am.” He chuckled, bending down and throwing a sock at you. 
“You’re not a-a dog, Jungkook.” You snapped your mouth shut, swiping the article of clothing off your head. 
    You felt old, like his mother, suddenly, and you didn’t like that feeling at all. You quietly turned and shut his door. You retreated to your room. As comfortable as things had seemed, it was moments like these that reminded you why you didn’t like living with him. 
    He was a slob! He had no interest in self care or a clean environment. The only thing you could count on was his love of food. Ever since the pudding incident, he hasn’t argued with your choice in food...yet. 
     It was night. The sun had set. You were sitting in your room, in the dark, lost in thought. You had to stay positive. Things would work out, right? But when it came to Jungkook, your positivity was at a low. He wasn’t exactly upbeat, nor particularly down either, he was just...infuriating. You sprawled out on your bed. 
    Then you heard his door opening and then closing. His soft steps on the wood creaked past your door as he made his way to the kitchen. You heard the fan kick on and the clatter of pots and pans. You sincerely hoped he was using everything right, but if you knew anything about Jungkook, it was that he was oddly good at...anything he tried. 
     A few minutes went by and you heard a crash, followed by a string of curses. You couldn’t be bothered to get up and ask about it. 
     The seconds ticked by. The fan turned off and you heard water running. After another minute or so, his quiet steps were back down the hall. This time, they were accompanied by an audible thunk outside your door. He knocked gently, then headed to his room. 
     You sat upright, narrowing your eyes at the shadow outside your door. You got out of bed, padding over to the door. He had left a metal tray. On it was a steaming bowl of ramen and a glass of fizzy water. A little note was attached. You crouched down. 
     It read, Sorry about earlier. Consider the problem solved :). You stared incredulously at the note for a few moments. You glanced over to his door. The lights were out and you wondered if he had eaten anything. You stood and brought the tray inside. 
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     Everything was melted in your hands. Chocolate, your tears, your heart. You looked around, smelling the sweet taste of ocean air just as a tidal wave arched over you. You gasped, holding up your hands and squeezing your eyes shut as the wave crashed down on top of you, sweeping you away. 
    You found yourself in a restaurant. Everyone was pointing and whispering, your heart raced. You were still drenched in water, looking a mess. You had gone to such trouble to look nice. The room shook. The ground opened, swallowing you whole. You were suffocating and the only thing you could see in this light was a basketball rolling along the ground. 
     You sat up, breathing heavily. It wasn’t even light outside yet. You inhaled huge gulps of air, searching for respite for your aching lungs. You shivered, pulling your knees in, rubbing your arms, trying to summon warmth back into them. The apartment was quiet. It had been a month. You found it easy to just avoid Jungkook. He was in his room most of the time anyway. 
      There was something about that nightmare, something so visceral and painful that your emotions were getting the best of you. The old breaks and cracks in your heart were opening up, incisions that had been stitched up. Well, you supposed it had been a rushed job. 
     You had so desperately tried to forget that moment, but it was carved into you like a birthmark. Chocolates untouched in a heart-shaped box, chipped nail polish, and a crowded restaurant. You had been cold since then, since the chill of the night set in your bones. 
     You clenched your fists, squeezing your eyes shut, you hit your temple, trying to rid yourself of the pain. Then you took a deep breath, relaxing your muscles. You slowly slid your legs back under the covers. 
     You let yourself sink back into your bed. Sleep needed to take you away from this moment, but it would not come. It stayed away, fraying at the edges of your vision, for hours. It was taunting you in the corners of your room. 
    You finally gave up. You silently made your way out to the kitchen, patting down your hair and pulling down your shorts. You blindly maneuvered around the apartment. The morning gray was lighting the sky. 
    You swallowed dryly and looked for a glass. The wood creaked ever so slightly under your feet as you went. You tripped slightly as you shuffled around. You paused. It was soft and slid easily along the floor. You frowned, bending down and picking up the article of clothing. You held it up to the light and you found out exactly what it was. 
     You stifled a noise of disgust, dropping the underwear. You grabbed a glass of water and sat at the counter. You tapped on the glass with your nails, watching as the first orange hues of the day streaked across the sky. 
“You’re up early.” Jungkook’s low and gravelly voice breached the peaceful morning. 
     You instantly glared. It wasn’t even a choice anymore, it was a gut reaction when you looked at him. He didn’t seem to notice, sleepily rubbing his eyes and half-heartedly following your lead, grabbing a glass. 
“And so are you?” You frowned. 
“I always heard you were someone who slept in.” 
“What gave you that thought?” 
“You’re giving me a lot of credit for assuming I entertain thoughts like that.” He chuckled. “No, no, I just heard from a friend or...two?” 
“How long ago was that?” You protested. He slid into the seat beside you and you both faced the dark kitchen for a moment, not looking at one another. 
“High school.” He responded softly, his words barely audible. 
    Jungkook seemed far more awake and alert than a few minutes prior. He ran a hand through his messy hair and pressed his lips together. 
“Right. Well, people said a lot of things back then.” You turned sharply to face him. 
     He didn’t argue. He just sighed and ran a hand down his face. His arms stretched above his head as he yawned. 
“So, why are you awake?” 
“I had a nightmare.” You said quickly, turned back to face forward.
    You stared intently into your glass of water. The small ripples from your incessant tapping were mesmerizing. 
“Tell me about it.” He prompted. Now it was his turn to look at your profile. “I want to know every detail.” He continued, a mischievous smile on his face.
    That grin made your heart jump leaps and bounds, but all you could see was that restaurant of people whispering about you. Why is she alone? What’s she doing here? She’s holding up the line. 
“Absolutely not.” You sniffed, tilting your head upwards and grabbing your glass of water. “Now I’m going to sleep more before work. Then I’m going to call Jisoo and get out of your hair.” 
     You stood and stormed back to your room. You slammed the glass down onto the side table, the water sloshed over the top. Most of your things were still in boxes, ready to move. Your palms were sweating. 
    The irrational anxiety was overwhelming you. It wasn’t like it was going to happen again. You just had to be more careful. And by careful, you meant never going on another date because there’s a 0% chance of you being stood up in that scenario. 
     You sent a quick text to Jisoo. It’s been a month. Get me the hell out of here. 
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     You knew you hadn’t unpacked fully for a reason, no matter how at home Jungkook had fooled you into feeling. Jisoo swept into your room. She smiled and grabbed a box, resting it against her hip. Her smile was strained. 
“Are you sure you want to do this? It’s a long way away from your work.” Jisoo asked, nudging open your door. 
    You set the last of your clothing into a box and began taping it shut. You followed her out, a box cradled in your arms. 
“I’m sure. I’ll just take the bus or something.” 
“The bus stop would still be a twenty minute walk...are you sure? It’s only a five minute walk from here.” 
“I’m sure, I’m sure.” You assured her. “It’s better than this place and besides, I need to get out more anyway.” 
“If you say so.” She shrugged. 
    You wanted her to tell you this was a bad idea. That you were insane. You knew, somewhere deep down, that this wasn’t right. That was the scary thing, no one was telling you if this was a bad decision or not. No one could guide you, it was your life, and that was scary as hell. 
“I know so.” You smiled and handed over your box to the moving guy just as Jungkook pulled up. 
     He jumped out of his car faster than you’d ever seen him do anything, and you had watched his basketball games. The dark haired man stopped, taking in the scene and you suddenly felt guilty, like a looming sense of dread. 
“What are you doing?” He asked darkly, his tone somber and serious. 
“I’m moving.” You explained lightly, thanking Jisoo as she handed you another box, which you handed to the movers. 
“You never told me.” He said softly. “Can we, can we talk about this?”
“Sure, give me an hour and I’ll be done-”
“I mean now.” His tone made everyone stop and exchange glances.
    You wished to be see-through, but you could never be see-through with Jungkook burning holes in your body with his eyes. You shifted uncomfortably and glanced at Jisoo. She avoided your gaze and you cleared your throat. 
“Uh, yeah, sure, let’s uh, just, go inside then, I guess.” You pointed awkwardly inside and stepped in after him. He shut the door behind you and you tapped your foot impatiently. 
“What’s up?” You frowned. 
     He pinched his lips with his fingers and paced across the living room and kitchen like a mad man. He frizzed up his hair with his hands and scrunched up his nose. He looked almost unhinged. You were going to be sick tracking his back and forth motion with your eyes. 
“Spit it out.” You demanded after some time had passed of him doing this. 
     He looked up, as if just noticing you there. Then he took three long strides, landing a few feet in front of you. 
“You can’t move out!” He blurted. “It’s just, so far from your job and this is so close, the closest in the neighborhood except for maybe upstairs and even that is farther away than ground floor of-” 
“Seriously? You want me to just not move out?!” You hissed and turned away  from him. “That’s not how it works, Jungkook!” 
“I know! I know that’s not how it works!” His voice began to raise. “What I mean to tell you is, agh you’re making this so difficult for me to tell you! I had this whole thing planned and-shit!” 
    It was like a fire had been lit, burning at the edges of the room and creeping closer to the heat of your bodies. 
“Quite blabbering and just tell me already.” You said lowly. The gasoline seemed to pour out of your hands. 
“I just- I don’t want you to move out because- because, I don’t!” He was shouting now, his beautiful face scrunched up in anger. He had lit the match. 
“Give me one good reason to stay.” You argued back, this fight feeling so much more than skin deep, surface level, like your other bickering arguments had been. 
“Because I like you, Y/N!” He exclaimed. Then he took a deep breath, rubbing his arms. “I like you.” The fire consumed the room. 
    Your face went blank, wiped clean like a whiteboard. The distant sound of crackling in your ears brought you back to life. You had to put this fire out, now.
“What?” You said, breathless. “That’s-”
     You tried to ignore the pang your heart gave. It was telling you to say yes, to scream that you liked him as well. But that just felt like 18 year old you talking, the one who was head over heels in love with him. 
“That’s impossible.” You stated. “Do you-do you know how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that?” You laughed dryly. “You knew I liked you, senior year, but you still went and made a fool out of me.” You began to pace, slow, measured, even steps along the hard wood floors.
   The frost began to sweep over the room, making you shiver and causing your breath to fog up the space. He could feel the temperature drop as well. He subconsciously rubbed his arms. 
“You asked me out that night and you stood me up. I got all dressed up, I bought chocolates and waited outside of the fanciest fucking restaurant in town, looking like a fool.” You clenched your fists together. 
“It was-it was a dare and it was supposed to be funny.” 
“I didn’t find it very funny.”
“I know.” He whispered. 
“Is this a prank too?” You questioned, taking a step back as he stepped forward.
 “Are Taehyung and Jimin going to step out and pounce on me, or are they just going to spread rumors about me like last time? I thought there was something wrong with me. I spent the next years hating myself for being so stupid! Do you know what it’s like to have everyone think you’re a slut when the guy gets to strut around, preening his ego like a fucking peacock?” 
    He was taken aback. He never had any clue you felt this way. He only ever knew what others had told him, but now he realized...those things weren’t true at all. 
“This isn’t a prank, Y/N.” He said quietly. “I was an asshole and I had no excuse to treat you like that.” He took a deep breath in.
     You hadn’t even realized how blurry your vision had grown to be until he was gently swiping away your tears.
 “I’m sorry.” 
     The words that broke the dam. The words that opened your poorly stapled stitches. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. A chant. A mantra. The frost began to melt away, the fire and ice finally in balance. 
“Please, just stop beating yourself up. Please...rest easy.” He pulled you into a bone crushing, soul crushing, hug. 
    You sobbed into his shirt, your knees buckling. He collapsed with you. He didn’t falter in his grip, not once. Like a lifeline in the middle of an endless sea. The one who caused the flood, also drained it. 
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     He tightened his tie, rolling his shoulders back. His foot tapped nervously against the wood as he smoothed back his hair. Jungkook was nervous, more nervous than he’d ever been before. 
    The jitters were shaking through his hands and arms. He didn’t even have that far to walk, but those few feet outside his room were the most terrifying steps he’d taken. 
“Knock knock.” He sang, rapping his knuckles lightly against your door. 
     You shot up from your seated position at the vanity table. You took a deep breath, checking over your complexion. You could see things that were wrong, but you just didn’t have time to fix them. You had only agreed on this date because he promised he wouldn’t stand you up and you were still unsure of your feelings. 
     You were still wary of him, especially after all the heartache he caused you in high school, but he seemed genuine when he had asked you. You were finding it hard to distinguish between what you wanted when you were 18 and what you wanted now. Did your heart still beat for him? Had it ever stopped? 
     You slowly opened the door, dressed in a knee length, red dress with thin straps and a waistline that tucked inwards. 
“You look beautiful.” Was the first thing out of his dumb mouth. 
     You wanted to kiss that shocked look off his face. Wait, that was definitely a weird thought to be having- You sped past that and simply nodded. 
“Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself.” You teased, nudging past him and he trailed you easily. “Where are we going, monsieur?” 
“Ah, just the finest place in town!” He exclaimed and his excitable energy was admirable. 
“Lead the way.” You smiled. 
     You could have sworn you saw him puff out his chest as he strode ahead. 
     The restaurant was far more beautiful than you remembered it, although the last time you remembered being here was the worst day of your life. In your memories, it had been a gloomy place, something unwelcoming and a sign of discomfort in your waking life.
     Now it seemed full of energy, a lively buzz of people going in and out. Jungkook stepped forward and spoke with the hostess. She seemed confused and pulled out a clipboard. A few more words were exchanged and you knew something had gone wrong. 
Your heart dropped, once again, as Jungkook turned and approached you with a sheepish smile. 
“What is it this time?” You found yourself snapping, unaware of the harshness in your tone. His mood sobered and he averted his eyes. 
“Sorry, Y/N, for some reason they don’t have my reservation.” 
    You wanted to be mad. You really did. But looking at him, just standing there helplessly and probably feeling guilty over something he couldn’t control, you found yourself smiling. 
     The absolute audacity of this restaurant screwing up both of your dates with Jungkook must be some kind of miracle. You started laughing, which made him look at you with confusion, and perhaps a little fear. 
    Okay, be positive. There had to be someway of salvaging this date night because you refused to be let down by him again. You just wouldn’t let that happen! 
“What? What?” He asked wildly, searching your face for any reason as to why you could possibly find this situation funny. 
“Oh, it’s okay, Jungkook. We can just find some place not so fancy. Besides, this place isn’t our style, it never has been.” You gestured to the cursive lettering on their sign. 
“Let’s go explore the city for some other place, just us.” You reached out and grabbed his hand. He could have sworn his heart skipped a beat as he gripped your hands in his. 
“Us?” He echoed softly. 
“Yeah...us.” You said, and you liked the sound of that on your tongue. 
    Us. Together. We. Words you could now associate with Jungkook. You led the way, marching dutifully through the streets of the city, poking your head into various restaurants. 
    And that was how you found yourself at a playground, swinging on the swing set, with an ice cream cone in your hand. It was well past 10:00 P.M. and Jungkook’s legs were so long that even when he lifted them up, they still dragged along the ground. 
     The light pollution covered the stars, but it was still nice to look up at the hazy night sky. Cars whizzed by every now and then, but it wasn’t a particularly crowded part. The park could be considered creepy, definitely, but you felt safe with Jungkook next to you, even if he could be an ass sometimes. 
“You know, I can’t say I’ve always liked you, or that I liked you from the moment I laid eyes on you like that movie crap.” Jungkook started and you snorted. 
“How romantic.” 
“I know.” He chuckled. 
“You know, I’m still scared to unpack those boxes.” You said softly. 
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t feel lovestruck when I first saw you this time around either. I didn’t want to live teetering on the edge of whether to dive right in or not.”
“You can’t have it both ways.”
“I know.” 
    He thought this over for a moment. Then he tightened his grip on the metal ropes and leaned back, kicking his feet to the sky. 
“Hm, personally, I think it’s better when you learn to love someone. Because to me, loving a person has always been about perseverance and effort. Sure, there’s love at first sight, but I think that’s overrated at this point. There’s something magical in letting it all click into place, don’t you think?” 
    You looked at your feet, swinging back and forth. Then you leaned backwards as well to get a better view of him. 
“Yeah, I think I like that too.” 
     You stood and he followed your lead. You approached him until you were chest to chest. Your heart was thumping wildly and you wondered if he could feel it too. He slowly leaned in and you found yourself doing the same, as if attracted by a magnet.
     His lips met yours, soft and everything you had imagined. Kissing him was innocent, loving. Well, opposites do attract. And yet, when you stepped back, you could see that you and Jungkook weren’t all that different. 
“I guess we finally found something to agree on.”
“Oh shut up, we’ve definitely had other things we could agree on-”
“Now this is just getting contradictory.” 
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     The last of the boxes were unpacked. The looming dread of those boxes were gone from the corner of your room. You had finished unpacking your things into Jungkook’s room when you saw the walls. 
“Huh, so you really did paint it with stripes.” You mused, stopping to admire the clean paint job. 
     He looked up from where he was placing extra hangers in his closet. The man gently swept back some of his hair and when he saw what you were looking at, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. 
“Yeah, it turned out to be a good idea.” 
“I have many good ideas.”
“That’s questionable.”
    You laughed and exited the room where more empty boxes were scattered. The room was a mess of tissue paper, tape, and bubble wrap. You slowly bent down and began picking up the items. As it turns out, your room did end up becoming the workout and gaming lounge, of which was mostly used by Jungkook. Speak of the devil...
     He left his bedroom, your bedroom, kicking open the door and dropping the empty boxes near the entrance of the apartment. 
“Alright! You’re all unpacked!” He clapped his hands happily and you brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. 
“It’s a mess.” He complained as he snuck up behind you, wrapping you in a huge hug from behind. 
     You laughed and he joined in, the sound muffled by your shoulder. 
You smiled and wrapped your hands over his. “It could be worse.” 
Fin
300 notes · View notes
hyunjun-jpeg · 2 months ago
Do you have any bad boy or e2l recs?
oooh boy do i have a lot to recommend. e2l is literally my favourite trope and i love ready bad boy AUs so i have quite a lot to recommend. you can find all of these and more on my masterlist. im just gonna drop a few for now happy reading :D
chan
priceless by @chaoticminhos
minho
a fairytale that lasts by @jeonginks
BETWEEN THE LINES BY @maatryoshkaa
THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS PROJECT BY @softukiyos
changbin
Enemies to Lovers!Changbin by @taelme
hyunjin
Erubescent by @cle1024
WORN OUT JACKETS BY @scxrlettwxtches
USED BY @strayneoculturekids
jisung
bad boy!han (jisung) [negative utopia!au] by @kettlewrites
I KNOW I’M NO GOOD FOR YOU… BY @jl-micasea
felix
METANOIA BY @PEACHYHAN
seungmin
what’s up with you by @jeonginks
my only hate, my only love by @yyxgin
note: I haven't really come across any bad boy and e2l AUs centered around jeongin. it you have any recommendations please send them to me!!! also send me prince AUs I've been really into those lately :D
90 notes · View notes
mimikookie · 5 months ago
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eleven || pjm
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“After you and Jimin break up to pursue your separate goals to achieve life’s success, Jimin tries to rekindle the spark that’s been flickering ever since the split.”
🕚 Pairing: Jimin x ex!Reader (f)
🕚 Rating/Genres: NC-17; Angst, song-inspired, exes to lovers (why do I always do this trope?)
🕚 Word Count: 5.0k
🕚 Warnings: Major character death, brief description of death scene (blood, body position, scene itself) -> It’s not detailed
🕚 Betas: @hoebii​​ and @moccahobi​​ // The amount of feedback and comments I received were so overwhelming. I’m so honored to have you both beta this piece. I feel like I don’t deserve to have such amazing betas D: Thank you both for making this piece sparkle. The common denominator comment was “oh no oh no oh no” lol. Thank you for the great reactions. 
🕚 Author’s Note: This is inspired by YUNGBLUD and Halsey’s song 11 Minutes (feat. Travis Barker). I really love the story they created and the mv always gets me so emotional. Dom’s explanation of the song is so heart-wrenching that I just wanted to write about it. I hope you enjoy it. I’ve had a really bad case of writer’s block lately, so I’m trying to break through that. That being said, I apologize if it’s a little bleh. Also, who would’ve thought fanfic would allow me to work on my editing skills. Kinda’ proud of the banner.
🕚 Song: 11 Minutes by YUNGBLUD, Halsey (feat. Travis Barker)
“Modern society teaches us that being successful or powerful is kind of more important than loving someone else.” - Dom, YUNGBLUD
masterlist
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Success.
Power.
Success and power are vital in one’s life. Success means being financially stable while having power means having the opportunity to claim what you desire from anywhere, anyone, and however one might see fit. Those are life’s top priorities. 
Be successful. Be powerful.
While love is powerful, it doesn’t equate to success. Find success. Obtain power. Then maybe you can find love.
Jimin scoffs as the shit advice lulls in his mind. He forms a trench in the middle of his living room. It was easy to believe those words once upon a time. A time where he sought advice from those around him in the crowded confines of high school. From teachers to advisors to parents to friends.
Success. Power.
But where did happiness come into play?
Was it supposed to be when he found success? Was he supposed to feel happy during his journey to success? Or maybe when he gained enough power to use others as carpet? When was he supposed to smile?
No one provided an answer to that.
The light from his phone blares in the darkness of his apartment that was near campus. His thumb hovers over the telephone icon as he debates with himself. He hasn’t spoken to you since you both went your separate ways three years ago. His eyes dance over the grey circle with your initials in the middle that replaced the years-old photo of your smiling face. He always found your smile painstakingly beautiful, but now it hurt in another way. He wasn’t sure how long he could cradle his trembling heart in his hands before it crumbled in his palms.
Taking a deep breath, he slammed his thumb on the screen harder than necessary.
Six rings.
Then a click.
“Hello?” Jimin’s voice is hoarse, filled with emotions he is slowly coming to understand. Resentment. Guilt. Fury. Sadness.
“Jimin?” Comes the soothing voice he’s heard echoing in his dreams. The dreams that involved you both in high school, sharing laughs in different locations—the classroom, the cafeteria, your home, the café near his home, your parent’s lake house. All the places he remembers fondly with you. It all comes flooding back with his name falling from your lips.
There’s a pang in your chest and you’re filled with disbelief as you wait for his reply. His name flashing across your screen yanked you back into the past so fast you were dizzy. There’s an inkling of happiness that feels foreign to you now. A feeling that was felt so regularly was shriveled throughout the years. Your heart hammers in anticipation, yearning to hear the voice you told yourself to get over repeatedly. 
You were meant to be the “it” couple from high school. That couple that was disgustingly perfectly molded for the other. You were the couple that had their faces plastered in the yearbook’s superlative section for “Couple Most Likely to be Together in 100 Years.” It was silly to Jimin, but not to you. He wished that turned out to be true.
“H-hey,” he repeats, dazed with the memories of you.
“Did you need something?” Your voice is low, wavering, and unsure. Almost as if you would shatter glass if you spoke too loudly. Surely, he wouldn’t be calling just to chat. Not after years of zero contact. While you were hopeful, you were also leary of his intentions. He was never a manipulator, but your walls were too thick to allow a single crack. 
“N-no,” then hurriedly, “I mean yes. I-” Jimin struggles for his words. He takes a deep breath, pauses, then releases gradually.
“How are you?” He tries again. There’s silence on the other end that stops his heart. He pulls the phone from his ear to check if the call is still connected. It is.
“I’m fine,” you reply curtly. You’re still on the edge, teetering on if you should hang up or if you should hear him out. There’s a sliver of wishfulness that he’s calling to tell you he wants you again. That he misses your touch and the sound of your voice. But that puts your heart on the line, and it’s already too fragile. 
Jimin misses when your reply would entail a dramatic story of how your day went, even if he was there at some of the events. The short answer arouses a sense of detachment and he wants to pinch himself for allowing this to happen. 
His pace across his living room slows.
“That’s good,” he answers. “Are you almost on summer break?” 
Jimin glances at his couch, legs aching from how much he’s moved them in the last hour, but he’s still too nervous to sit.
“Yes,” you say slowly. Jimin can sense your uneasiness.
“Would you want to meet up soon then? M-maybe we can visit the café.”
Jimin doesn’t need to elaborate on which café he is referring to. After lounging in the café near his house for hours upon weeks, it became the third home for you both—your own homes, each other’s, then the café.
The hope in your chest begins to bloom along with your anxiety. Your heart races at the idea of being in close proximity again. To see the face you could never rid from your memory no matter how hard you tried. 
Belatedly, “I’ll be in town in two weeks. Does eight work for you? I’m busy in the morning.” 
Jimin opens his mouth to reply eagerly but stops himself. He feels you’ll scurry off if he’s too brash.
“Whatever works for you,” he says, hoping you can’t hear the pounding of his heart over the line. “Eight is perfect.”
“Okay,” you respond. Jimin presses the phone closer to his ear as you speak, trying to decipher your emotions over the call. Were you excited like him?
“Okay,” he echoes. “I’ll see you then. I-I’m glad to hear from you again, Yn.”
“Me too,” your voice comes out as a whisper before the call flatlines.
Jimin’s hands are shaky when he pulls the phone from his ear. He locks his phone and tosses it on the couch, running his hands through his unkempt hair. His heart has yet to slow, making him feel the need to move in order to get the jitterbugs out of his system.
So he imprints his steps into his living room floor as he paces the small area again until the clock strikes two in the morning.
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The café is a 15-minute drive from his house in his hometown. Ten if he speeds.
Despite this, he is running late.
Two weeks whirled past him. The short, quick text messages exchanged between the both of you had Jimin’s palms sweat. In his three years of college, he’s never been happier. The messages occurred daily but never longer than an hour. He wasn’t sure if you were too busy or if it was just a coincidence. No matter, he would take the thirty one-sentence messages rather than none.
The advice he remembered earlier rings in his ears as he rushes to find his misplaced car keys. His carefully fixed hair is becoming undone as he dashes around his home. Why did he consume their advice like they were scared words? Would things have been different if he followed his heart rather than his head?
An exasperated huff escapes Jimin’s parted lips when he finally catches sight of his keys. He snatches them up, storms his way past his front door, and slides into his car. 
Ten minutes.
He can make that.
The ride stirs a mixture of emotions in his chest. The familiar windings of the road have him recalling memories of the two of you.
“Don’t you know the eight ball goes in last?” Jimin chuckled as his gaze lingered on the pocket the ball you hit rolled into then to your remaining solid balls scattered across the green cloth. Your glare told him no.
“Claws in, kitten,” he teased and plucked the black ball from the pocket. He placed it back in its previous location then took a step back.
“Oh, look, the Time Fairy appeared and rewound time. It looks like it’s your turn,” Jimin nodded his chin toward the table. “Again,” he mumbled with a small smile that was a borderline smirk.
Your glaring lasted a few seconds longer before you lifted your chin and moved toward the table. Your eyes dropped down and found your next hit. You aligned the cue stick, narrowing your eyes as you calculate your angle, then made your shot. 
Your shoulders slumped when the blue ball you were aiming for stopped a few centimeters short of the pocket. Jimin “accidentally” bumped into the table, causing the ball to slowly roll into the pocket.
“Wow! What a shot, kitten!” Jimin exclaimed, offering you his charming smile. 
“I give up,” you whined and set your cue stick across the table. You peered up at your boyfriend with a pout. Jimin laughed at your dramatic expression, setting his stick with yours before enfolding your body into his strong embrace. His pillowy lips found yours easily, caressing yours in a soothing kiss—causing tingles to race throughout your veins. No matter how many times your lips locked, the love-sick feeling never ceased.
“You did great,” he mumbled into your hair after he pulled away. He sealed a second kiss to your forehead and you allowed your body to melt into his at the tender touch. “Just not as great as me.”
“Babe,” you groaned and pushed against his chest to leave his grasp. Jimin’s hold tightened.
“I’ll make it up to you and buy you whatever you want at the café,” he replied and began moving toward the exit with you by his side.
“But you do that already,” you argued and glanced up at him.
“Fine,” he paused as he held the door open for you before taking you under his wing as you strolled to his car. “I’ll let you pay this time.”
“Jimin,” you huffed, causing Jimin’s laugh to echo in the half-filled parking lot.
If he didn’t think success and power were more important than love, would he still be filled with regret? Would the regret have been about not achieving his career goals instead of letting you slip through his fingers? If you were on the same path, would you both be going to the same college as each other? Would you have stayed together even then?
Jimin’s knuckles turn ghostly white as he forces himself to slow his speed when he rounds the corner. The café is in his sights.
There is no point in dwelling on the what-ifs. It isn’t as if he hasn’t done this already. No matter how much he calculated his past actions, the equation never added up. There was always something changing—always another follow-up question. 
Things were changing though.
It’s been long enough to realize the empty gap in his heart wasn’t due to him not making progress to success—he was—but it was the lack of happiness in his life. And the biggest source of happiness came from you. With the endless study nights, he rarely found time for himself. He isolated himself from others and dug his head in his books. He wasn’t sure if he was cramming his nights with textbooks to distract his mind from you or if he was really trying to stay on top of his classes. It was probably both, but he didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want to admit he needed you because that would mean he was lied to all those years ago. That you were both lied to. You didn’t need each other; you needed to be successful.
He couldn’t remember the last time his smile reached his eyes.
After being seated, his phone rings. It’s two minutes until eight.
“Hey,” he answers, voice sounding more cheerful than anticipated.
“Hi Jimin,” you reply, the sound of your blinker emitting in the background. “I’m eleven minutes away. Sorry, I’m running late.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jimin replies, unhesitantly. “Take your time. I’m in a booth to the right when you walk in.”
“Sounds good,” you pause and Jimin can hear the churn of your wheels as you take a turn. There’s a silence that signals he should hang up, but he can’t find the strength to. There’s an odd sense of comfort listening to your breath on the other line. 
“I-I missed you,” you stutter after a moment, hesitant to reveal how you truly feel. Speaking it would make it true, and it worries you. After denying you still cared for the man for three years, it was difficult to allow yourself to be optimistic. You’ve been distancing yourself to keep your heart from fracturing for a second time, but as the days passed you just wanted to yank down your walls. So many jumbled thoughts were on the tip of your tongue. You had missed him all day. His face would appear every time you shut your eyes. He was prominent in your mind. 
“I’m glad you called,” you added when you realize this meet-up was his doing. If it weren’t for his call two weeks ago, you would be hiding in your house as you shoved all the memories of you and him that this city resurfaced. 
Jimin’s heart clutches in a way he hasn’t felt for years at your words. He stares outside the window, watching as the last bit of sun disappears along the horizon. 
“I missed you too,” he breathes out shakily. He swears he hears a sound akin to relief from your end.
“I’ll see you soon then.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”
Three words die on his lips as the call disconnects. It’s too soon to say those words again but after years of ending a phone call with them, it felt strange not to. Maybe he could get back to that point in your relationship. It would come easy to him to fall back into that pattern with you. It’s not like that feeling left his heart. His entire body was stained by you. He was a fool to think he could scrub you off him.
The prospect of being able to hold you in his arms or feel the softness of your lips made his heart somersault. Hell, just being able to be in a six-foot radius made him giddy. 
The thought of you moving on already is in the back of his mind. He knows it’s a possibility, but he would solve his emotions when that moment transpired. He’ll rather fantasize about you smiling and telling him you loved him than you frowning and saying you didn’t. Perhaps he is being delusional, but he would hold on to the hope you still wanted to rekindle what you both had. 
As the minute ticks by, he grows disheartened. It’s been more than eleven minutes and you haven’t stepped foot inside the café. The coffee he ordered himself is becoming cold. 
Perhaps there was traffic. There wasn’t any when he traveled, but maybe you were taking a different way. Or maybe he sounded too eager on the phone. Did that scare you?
The onslaught of questions pours on him as he bows his head and fiddles with his phone. You’ll call any second and tell him how you’ve hit every red light and were running later than planned. He’ll sigh in relief, tell you it’s okay again, and maybe he’ll get you to stay on the phone longer. The sound of your voice was comforting to him and it made warmth spread throughout his body. 
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The café is closing. 
The staff tells him he has to leave and ushers him out so they can clean and go home. Jimin is distraught. His phone remains without notifications. He had heard you driving so surely you didn’t stand him up. But perhaps you were driving somewhere else and used that as an excuse to say you were on your way. No. That didn’t sound like something you would do. You wouldn’t go through that hassle instead of telling him a simple no. 
Regardless, you don’t show. 
It crushes him more than he’ll admit. 
He sits in his car for a few minutes, thinking of what could have happened. He decides to drive the route you probably took if you were to go to the café from your home. Maybe he can find you stuck in traffic. It’s a silly idea, but he doesn’t want to believe you stood him up. 
Just his luck. 
There is traffic. 
The cars in front of Jimin move at an agonizing pace. He’s tempted just to ring your cell and ask where you are, but he’s fearful he was right and you played him. He drives at an odd angle to see if there’s construction. Instead, he sees blue and red lights flashing in the middle of the four-lane road. There are three police cars and two ambulances, but none of them have their sirens on. 
When he nears the accident, he spots parts of debris from the vehicles scattered along the road. He slows down more as he passes, partly due to being careful of not hitting anything or anyone and because humans are curious creatures. 
Illuminated by the street and emergency lights are two cars—one bigger than the other. The smaller one is flipped on its top, some of its windows broken. The bigger car is upright, the head crunched significantly. Something about the flipped car pings familiarity but he’s not sure why. Whatever it is though, it’s strong enough to make him detour and park next to an empty cop car. He can hear the police direct him to get back in his car and leave when he steps out. 
Jimin tells them something, but he’s not even sure what he’s saying. He’s too zeroed in on the upend car. 
It’s not until he rounds a police car to get a better look that it clicks. 
There’s an “I ❤ Billiards” sticker on the car’s bumper that he pranked you with. The packaging had said it was easy to remove, but from the torn, jagged edges and scratches across the surface, that was a lie. Despite the initial groans and whines from you when you first spotted it, he knew you were secretly fond of it. The sticker was more tattered from the last he saw it. It was as if you had tried to unstick him from your life, but similar to the strong adhesive, it wasn’t completely successful. There were still remnants of him.
Jimin walks dazedly to the front of the car. He staggers on legs that feel like twigs, struggling to support his weight. The soft pink of his cheeks is draining before he sees it. 
The sight has him immediately reaching for the cop car for support, but it does nothing to stop the buckling of his knees as they collide with the concrete. The pain in his knee caps is nothing compared to the pain in his chest.
The flashing red and blue is reflected in your eyes that stare blankly into his. One arm lays limp outside your shattered window while your head rests at an uncomfortable angle. There’s blood on your body but he can’t see its origin from his blurry vision. He swears he can spot the slow rise and fall of your chest, but he knows in the back of his mind he’s just hallucinating. Your eyes are a void to your emotions and he can see the remnants of remorse. The look resembles how you looked at him the last time he saw you. 
“Have you figured out which college you want to go to yet?” You questioned while you sat up from his warm embrace. Jimin’s hand glided down your back as you repositioned yourself to straddle his lap. He followed your lead and shifted so his back was propped against your headboard. 
“Yeah, it’s in Seoul so it’ll only be a three-hour drive to see you.”
You gave him a smile, but Jimin could tell it wasn’t filled with the happiness he expected. He didn’t like the way his chest clenched involuntarily. 
“That’s great, babe,” you said, flickering your gaze to his chest briefly. Jimin could sense your detachment and it scared him. 
“What’s wrong? Three hours isn’t that bad. I’ll come to you so you can stay in your dorm.” Jimin reached up, wrapped his hands around your wrists then gently tugged you to his chest. Before you could protest, he encircled your back with his arms. Jimin waited for your body to relax, as it usually did when you were in his arms, but it never did. 
Silence filled the room. The pounding of your heart was loud enough for Jimin to hear and he wondered what happened to have you so distressed. As he opened his mouth to reassure you again, you spoke. 
“I got a scholarship,” you blurted. Your eyes closed as you rested your head against his toned chest. Despite wanting to mold your body into his, you couldn’t block the anxiousness from seeping in. 
“What?” Jimin asked and pulled you away slightly to look at you. “That’s great news, kitten. You’re too intelligent to not get one.”
You hummed, a shy yet melancholy smile forming on your lips. Jimin scrunched his eyebrows when he noticed your lack of excitement. 
“Isn’t that good, Yn?” He questioned. You bit your bottom lip in thought. Jimin could see the war you were battling internally and it caused red flags to sprout. 
“I-It’s in the States,” you stammered and searched his eyes. 
Jimin’s arms tensed around you. His crestfallen expression had you break eye contact. It was simply too painful to watch his face crumble. 
“I-” Jimin started but stopped himself. He what? He’d fly every weekend to visit you? Once a month? He didn’t have that kind of money. 
“I can call you every day. We can video chat,” Jimin said suddenly, eyes filled with hope that had you falling more in love. 
“Yeah,” you answered, but you didn’t believe your own words. 
Jimin knew it was wishful thinking. Every long-distance relationship he’d heard of ended in failure. The video calls were sufficient for the first few weeks, but as the semester got crazier, the less time the couple had for each other. They would end up drifting apart regardless of the attempts to salvage whatever was left. 
“I would’ve denied it if it weren’t for the scholarship,” you added. “The university also has the major I want. My counselors believe I can be really successful there.”
While there was a glint of excitement in your eyes, the sorrow overpowered it. Jimin nodded in understanding. He was told Seoul was his best opportunity to excel in his career field. How could he pass up the opportunity to be first in his classes? With the tough competition in his field, he could use any leverage he could get to rise to the top. 
“I’m happy for you,” Jimin replied. He meant it. He was genuinely proud of you and you knew that. But it didn’t make anything easier. 
“Thanks,” you mumbled. Silence loomed over you both as you each got lost in your own thoughts. Your eyes trailed over his features. From his plump lips to his scattered moles across his forehead. You memorized every detail of his face and as each detail filed itself in your mind, your heart grew heavy. 
“We’re not going to make it, are we?” You questioned and moved your gaze slowly to his. His eyes were dark, swirling with affliction and dread. You could already see his defense walls rising. 
“I’d like to,” Jimin answered softly. “But I… It’s unlikely.”
“I love you,” you declared abruptly, the urge to tell him one last time too strong to ignore. There was a desperation to your voice Jimin has never heard before.
“I love you more, kitten.” 
Jimin’s voice was gentle and angelic. You were so engrossed in the way his voice engulfed you that you didn’t realize the fallen tear on your cheek. Jimin was quick to wipe it away with his thumb, the coldness of his ring making you shiver slightly. 
“I should go,” he whispered, almost reluctantly. You nodded meekly and climbed off his lap. He gracefully maneuvered off your mattress and strolled to your door. 
“I can walk you out,” you offered and forced yourself to meet his eyes. In the brief time it took to move from your bed to your door, Jimin had his own tears sliding down his rosy cheeks. You mimicked his earlier actions and smoothly wiped at his cheek. He faintly leaned into your touch. 
“It’s okay,” he murmured then with a deep breath, stepped away from you. His hand was on your door handle when you gripped his wrist. 
“Wait. Please,” you begged. “C-can you,” you trailed off but glanced at his lips to indicate what you wanted. He seemed hesitant. His jaw clenched as he mulled over your request. 
“Just this once,” he murmured and cradled the side of your face as he leaned in. “Just one more moment like this.” His breath tickled your face as he spoke. 
The kiss was overwhelming. What started off as a gentle kiss quickly turned into desperate glides of lips and tongues. Both his hands were caressing your cheeks while yours clutched his lower back. There was no hatred in the kiss. You nor Jimin were upset with each other. You both had known this was bound to happen; high school couples rarely lasted after graduation. You told yourself it was just another hardship in your life. That letting Jimin go was the right thing to do. You didn’t allow yourself to imagine a life without him because then it would be too easy to follow him to Seoul.
Only when neither of you could breathe did you pull away. The gasps of breaths and harsh breathing filled your small bedroom. The rapid thumping of your heart matched his. He was the first to pull away. 
He stared at you as he placed his hand on the handle again. Your eyes were wide, silently begging him to stay, but you knew this was for the best. This was destined to happen. This wasn’t going to work in the long run and you would need to focus on your studies more in college anyway. Maybe once you graduated from university could you try to reach out again. But who knows? He could forget about you by then. You had the briefest thought of if this was truly the route you wanted to take. Was everyone right to say you needed to be successful in order to thrive in life? 
Before you could change your mind, Jimin opened your door and slipped behind it. 
He had seen the turmoil behind your eyes. There was a flicker of tentativeness but he couldn’t allow himself to linger any longer than he already had. You had both known your fate. If you didn’t call it quits then, you would at graduation. 
But maybe you could have made it work. Maybe if you both just tried.
From the look in your vacant eyes, he could sense the same thoughts had run through your mind. Were your last thoughts of him then? Did you die regretting listening to the same foolish advice he had been pondering over lately? Had you wished you told him you loved him one last time? Did you die wanting to hear him tell you he loved you more? He’s reminded of the way those words got caught in his throat earlier on the phone with you. Suddenly those three words tasted sour in his mouth. 
His eyes refocus on you in the car.
He can’t breathe.
There’s a firm grip around his throat, blocking his airway. He feels as if the grim reaper is sucking his soul out of his fragile body. He might as well be.
Jimin can’t stop the sob that rips from his throat as his hands dig into the floor, unknowingly pressing into glass shards. He can’t feel the coldness of the concrete, the impaling of the shards, or the saltiness of his tears.
The voices around him sound distorted. They’re slow, drawn-out, and distant; but they don’t echo. 
There are hands around his arms that he staggers out of.
“Please,” he hears his voice faintly in his ears. Has he been speaking this whole time?
He doesn’t make it one step because the set of hands are on him again—more forcefully this time. He tugs on the restraint, freeing one arm, but that doesn’t aid him in his escape. He’s grabbed by a second person. 
He drags his feet, creating a pathway in the debris when the people pull him away from the scene. 
Away from you. 
Cold metal is enclosed around his wrists before he’s tucked inside a vehicle. He belatedly registers that he’s been handcuffed and stuffed inside a police car. He stares outside the window. Your static face is still in view and he presses his forehead against the chilled glass.
He squeezes his eyes shut and feels the streak of tears fall for the first time. Memories of the two of you replay in the darkness of his vision. He slams his head against the window in anguish. He needs to feel something other than this suffocating guilt.
When he opens his eyes, you’re still there.
Would things have been different if he didn’t believe the advice and sought success and power? Would he still be able to cradle you in his arms and kiss your lips swollen?
There’s nothing stopping the torrent of questions from drowning him. Everything he envisioned for the two of you came plummeting around his feet. He wonders if he will ever be able to find true success without you.
A shuddering whimper racks his body as he continues to torture himself by staring at your lifeless body.
He desperately wishes he could sell his soul for a bit more time with you.
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A/N:
“We don’t realize how much we need something until it’s taken away from us. We are so distracted and focused on what’s next, we can fail to see what is actually in front of us.” - Dom, YUNGBLUD
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parkjimnastics · 6 months ago
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/flashbacks to bs&t era with all the shoulders revealing jacket ‘accidents’/
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imyourhobiii · 2 months ago
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The Dichotomy Between Us (TEASER) | KTH
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⋟ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, vampirevariant!Taehyung, humandoctor!Reader ⋟ Genre: Smut, Enemies to Lovers, Dystopian AU, Vampire Variant AU
⋟ Synopsis: Two divergent worlds. One impervious, safe and guarded. The other susceptible, chaotic and uncertain. But it wasn’t always that way. There was a time that everyone lived together in congruence but that all changed when a deadly virus ravished the city, separating the two worlds permanently, rupturing the fabric of humanity.
Despite what others think of you, your motivation for becoming a doctor was and always has been entirely pure at heart. You desperately strive for change, tirelessly working towards creating a better future for those who are inflicted. You have hope that one day the world can become a safer place. Taehyung, on the other hand, has always held resentment towards you. It’s people like you that are the reason the world is such turmoil. It’s people like you that are selfish and greedy. It’s people like you that are the reason that people like him are suffering.
⋟ Word Count: (for this teaser only) 909 ⋟ Rating: 18+ ⋟ Warnings: (these warnings are for this teaser only, they are not for the entire fic) Swearing/Cursing, Medical related terms and descriptions.
⤿ Note: I have been working on this fic forever it seems! It was supposed to be posting by June 30th for BTS Writers’ Club’s fic exchange event. This fic is a gift for one of the most amazing, wonderful, kind, and funny people I know – Jackie @illneverrecover​ 💜 Please keep in mind, this fic is still a work in progress. Parts of the story within this teaser may be edited and/or changed completely before the final product is released. I plan on coming back from my hiatus to post this fic once it’s completed in next few weeks. If you want to be tagged when this fic is posted, please let me know! 
⤿ Special thanks to: Hannah @spicykoreantatertots​ for the inspiration to fic’s the twist Dean @eternalseokjin​ for helping come up with Archaven’s name Chelle @ddaechwita for helping with the outline of the story, for beta’ing this teaser, and for being my go to when I feel like I am a loser and my writing is shit (iloveyouuuu) 😭
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Arriving at the wall had become just another normal part of your daily routine. The armed guards and detection dogs no longer scared you. The strip searches no longer felt invasive. The death stares from the Carthage militia members no longer unsettled you. It was all part of crossing the cities’ border, each side feeling it necessary to protect their citizens.
Handing your bag over to the guard for inspection, you waited assiduously for him to examine your belongings. You watched as he filtered through your packed lunch and huffed in annoyance when he squished your peanut butter sandwich. You must have pissed him off because the guard responds by shoving your bag back into your hands aggressively.
“Here ya go, doc,” he said, disdain dripping from his tongue. The next words he mutters are so soft and under his breath, you barely hear them. But you hear them all the less. “Self-righteous bitch.”
“Keep that attitude up you might actually succeed in ending your bloodline.”
The guard flexes his jaw but doesn’t respond. He simply walks you to the gate and signals for the other guard to open it. Metal on metal screeches as the gate slides, the high-pitched noise piercing through your ears, leaving your brain irritated and disgusted. Your body shudders in an attempt to rid itself of the irritation as you walk through the gate.
Wanting to avoid the grating noise once more, you swiftly make your way over to the escort team awaiting you as the gate begins to close. You were so focused on getting into the jeep, jumping in the backseat before a Carthage militia guard closes the door behind you, you hardly noticed who was in the backseat with you until it was too late.
“Tae - taehyung, what are you doing here?” you stutter, a bit caught off-guard by his presence. You had never been this close to him before, your shoulders practically touching.
You could smell the all too familiar scent of nickel on his breath as he spoke to you. He must have gotten his treatment right before meeting up with you. “We need to discuss your patient from last night.”
“And this couldn’t have waited until I was at the hospital?” you snipe, pulling your seatbelt on.
“No. That man that you treated last night. Do you know who he was?”
“Arthur Lee. 47. Allergic to penicillin. No known long-term medical conditions, besides the virus of course.” You pause as your mind once again begins to flood with the events of last night. “He came in for a headache, it escalated. There was little we could do.”
“Come on, y/n. You don’t find it weird that it escalated that quickly?”
Taehyung was one of the many leaders you dealt while in Carthage. You mostly saw him around the hospital with a few other scientists and politicians. Their goal was the same as yours; to help find a cure for Undead Diphtheria and end the world’s suffering. Despite your shared goal, your similarities ended there.
Taehyung was abrasive, cold, and blunt. He never treated you with the respect you felt you deserved. He would constantly demand you follow his orders and you would constantly remind him that you worked for the hospital, not for him. In addition to his terrible temperament, he (just like many in Carthage) despised every fabric of your being.
You were from Archaven, the golden city. Not only were you a credited and celebrated Doctor of Medicine but you were immune to the virus, a coveted rarity in this apocalyptic world. To them, you were rich with privilege. You understood their disposition towards you completely. If you had been in their shoes, you would certainly feel the same as they did, which is why you never held their opinions of you against them.
But Taehyung was different. They way he spoke with you just seemed to be so much more boorish than anyone else from Carthage and despite knowing him for years, you could never quite figure out why he detested you so much. Most people eventually came around after knowing you for a while. But not Taehyung. He never dropped his cold exterior with you.
You sighed, mulling over Taehyung’s question. “Yes, Mr. Lee’s death did seem out of the ordinary but there could be a multitude of reasons as to why. He could have had an undiagnosed illness, something underlining that went undetected.”
“I have it on good authority that Mr. Lee was the perfect picture of health not more than 36 hours ago.”
“What exactly are you suggesting, Taehyung?”
You stare at him, awaiting his response, and you swear you can see uncertainty flash over his face. But only just for a moment before his cold, expressionless face returned. He sighs, leaning back against the leather seat.
“Nothing.”
You roll your eyes. “If it was nothing, then why are you ruining my nice quiet ride to work with your hostile presence?”
“You know, I can always make you walk to the hospital.”
Taehyung’s threat was serious in definition but not in tone. You knew he would never subject you to the streets of Carthage alone. Doing so would leave you vulnerable and defenseless. Taehyung was an asshole, but he wasn’t an idiot. He was smart enough to understand that despite his contempt towards you, he needed you. Carthage needed you. Therefore, keeping you safe was critical to him achieving his goal.
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©2019-2021 imyourhobiii | all rights reserved
All writings posted and written by imyourhobiii are NOT permitted to be re-posted, modified, changed, or implemented into other works. Any plagiarism of my work will be handled appropriately.
➭ pla·gia·rism /ˈplājəˌrizəm (noun)
1. the practice of taking someone else’s work or ideas and passing them off as one’s own.
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jeonvely · 2 months ago
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💬 enemies to lovers with taehyung
requested by @minluvly
a/n; so tempted to make this plot into an au or a mini series... i cannot tell you how much i wanted to😭
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neonlights92 · a month ago
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NIGHT CHANGES: Part Three
Jeon Jungkook has spent the last twenty years alone.  Single.  Solo.
And that’s just the way he likes it.  That is, until he meets the supposed love of his life.  Suddenly he’s falling over himself at the chance of a real relationship with someone. 
The only thing standing in his way? You.
genre: fuckboy!Jungkook, college!jungkookie, e2l (kiiiinda), romcom
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Jungkook feels like he’s hit the jackpot.
Somehow - though he’s not one hundred percent certain how - Soomi seems to be interested in him.
After Y/N’s birthday they spent the rest of the weekend texting (flirtily, might he add!) and on Sunday evening she even asks what his plans are for the rest of the week.
His plans.
Jungkook knows what coming onto someone looks like - he’s spent the last twenty one years of his life doing it - so he smirks to himself and answers with something non-committal and casual: 
Not much.
That, of course, seems to peak Soomi’s interest and she mentions something about a new coffee shop opening up just down the road from campus - and that’s when Jungkook knows he’s got her: hook, line and sinker.
“Good job Jungkook,” Y/N smiles at him on Monday morning in their modern American literature class, “I told you she’d be into you.”
Jungkook is incredibly happy with himself.  So happy, in fact, that he wants to share that feeling with someone else.
“Maybe we should fast forward the whole Jimin thing,” He says, setting his book-bag to one side and grabbing a pencil, “If he met you just once I’m sure he’d fall in love.”
“He has met me.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Y’know what I mean.”
Y/N shakes her head.
“I can’t help it that I’m shy.”
There it is again.  That assertion that Y/N is a wallflower. 
Jungkook can’t help but feel that’s a completely unfair description of her.
“That’s not true,” He denies firmly, “When we first met you were anything but shy.”
“I was drunk.”  Her cheeks flush and she pulls a face, “That’s different.  Nobody’s shy when they’re drunk.”
But Jungkook refuses to back down.  He crosses his arms and leans back in his chair - inspecting her semi-jokingly over the rim of his glasses.
“And what about the morning after when you kicked me out of bed?”  He asks, raising a questioning brow, “That wasn’t shy.” “You had no idea who I was.”  She answers,her cheeks still blazing red but refusing to drop eye contact with him, “I’m shy but I’ve got some self-respect.”
Jungkook feels another stab of guilt.  His eyes widen and Y/N holds up a hand.
“Don’t apologise for that night.  Not again.  Please.”
His face falls and he slumps forward slightly. 
He knows it’s annoying but he can’t help it.  Ever since he got to know Y/N - got to really know her - he realises what an absolute asshole he’s been.
Not only is she funny and smart and incredibly altruistic - but she’s the kind of person you just… Want to be around.
Whether she sees that about herself or not.
“You’ve never been shy with me,” Jungkook asserts confidently.
“Because you’re different.” His lips lift into a smirk but he smothers it down before it can fully form.
No.  Not the time for arrogance.
“What do you mean?” She shrugs and tugs some of her hair behind her ears.  Her eyes move to meet Jungkook’s and for a moment he’s taken back by the softness there.
She really is beautiful when she wants to be.
“I wasn’t trying to impress you,” She bites her bottom lip, “And you were kind of a jerk to me at first.  I guess - I don’t know.  Just because I’m shy it doesn’t mean I let people walk all over me.”
Jungkook pulls a face, “I know that.”
Y/N watches him for a moment, and then smiles gently.
“Yeah you do.  You see me now - properly.  And I appreciate that,”  Her eyes move away from his and connect with the back of Park Jimin’s head, “But not everyone else bothers.”
Jungkook knows that if it weren’t for them sleeping together - and then if it weren’t for him falling in love with Soomi at first sight - he probably wouldn’t have bothered to get to know Y/N.
That makes him feel like a real jackass.
He wants to kick himself - to tell past Jungkook that her name is Y/N Y/L/N and not to forget it. 
But he can’t of course.
So instead he just sighs like he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders and nudges her almost playfully.
“What about a double date, then?”
Y/N stares at him like he’s legitimately lost his head.
“What?” “A double date.  Me and Soomi, you and Jimin.”
“You’re fucking nuts,” Her eyes widen and she shakes her head, “No.  No way.  I’ve barely ever spoken more than two words to him.”
Jungkook licks his bottom lip, “Doesn’t mean you can’t start now does it?”
“I can’t just ask him out on a date.” “Why not?” 
Jungkook raises a questioning brow.  He watches as Y/N’s face falls and picks up again.
“Because - well I can’t.  I don’t know him well enough yet.”  She seems frustrated that Jungkook won’t agree with her.
But he has to admit - he thinks she’s selling herself short.
Maybe Jimin might not know her properly yet but the minute he does, he’s sure he’ll love her.
“Aren’t you reading that book about confidence?”  Jungkook asks, eyebrow arching higher.  Y/N shifts.
“Yeah so?” “What does it say about asking someone out on a date?” She mulls the question slowly.  Her teeth come out to catch on her bottom lip.
Then she sighs heavily.
“That’s not the point -” 
“Aha! So your book agrees with me.” 
“That’s not what I said.”  She frowns deeply, like Jungkook is the bane of her existence and he wonders for a moment if he really is helping her at all, “I just - look.  I’ve not been on many dates before.  Okay?”
It’s Jungkook’s turn to frown.  He furrows his brow.
“What?” “It’s quite normal,” She tells him huffing loudly, “Don’t look at me like I’ve grown a third head.”
“I’m not - no that’s not what I’m doing.”  Jungkook feels something like… Frustration(?) bubbling in his gut, “I just don’t understand.”
Y/N moves her eyes away from his for a moment and Jungkook is sure she’s embarrassed.
“I just.  I’ve never had a serious boyfriend before and so it’s only natural that I’ve not done a lot of the whole… Dating thing.”  She shrugs like it’s not a big deal, “Tinder scares me.  I much prefer getting drunk and taking unsuspecting English lit majors home, only to have them forget my name the next day.” She sends him a toothy grin but Jungkook can barely react to the jab.
He’s floored.
“You’re ridiculous.”  He is so mad for some reason.  How has nobody wanted to take her on dates before? How does she not have a line of men waiting to sweep her off her feet?
“You’re overreacting.”
Jungkook narrows his eyes, “No I’m not.  You’re fucking awesome Y/N.”
She flushes the brightest shade of red he’s ever seen.
“Shut up.” “No you are.  Jimin would be fucking lucky to date you,” He’s so serious he’s scared he might pop a blood vessel, “Any guy would.”
“Right.”  Y/N is so red he almost laughs, “Well.  Thanks.  I guess.”
Jungkook runs his tongue across his bottom lip and sighs heavily.
This has thrown a wrench into his plans of course.  Where he thought things might be simple - get Y/N together with Jimin as quickly as possible so he can ride off into the sunset with Soomi - it seems that’s not quite the case.
He has to come up with a solution.  A way to ease Y/N into the dating world comfortably - a way to help her realise how fucking cool she really is.
“Okay so then date me.”  The words fly out of him before he can fully process them.
Y/N’s eyes widen and she drops the pen she’s holding.
Fuck.  Wait.  Jungkook holds up a hand quickly.
“No.  God.  No, not like that.”  He tries to calm the situation by waving his hands frantically and even though he knows it definitely won’t work, he keeps trying, “I just mean.  God I just mean before you ask Jimin out on a date - before you invite him to the party at the end of the semester.  Take me on a date.  As practice.  For science.  To gain confidence as it were. I’ll talk you through it.  Think of it like coaching.”
Y/N’s expressions morphs from stunned to contemplative.
He sees a flicker of something - sad and soft, maybe? - but it’s gone before he can properly decipher it.
Weird.
After a moment she shrugs, like he hasn’t just offered her the weirdest proposition of his life.
“Fine.” 
Jungkook raises a brow, “Yeah?” She nods.
“Yeah.” Shit.  Well. 
There it is.
Their lecturer enters at that exact moment - opportune as it is, cutting off right at the end of their conversation -and Jungkook and Y/N open their books on page thirty-nine as instructed.
For a moment, Jungkook is unsure why his heart skipped when Y/N agreed to his ridiculous plan.
It’s because he’s one step closer to Soomi of course.
Yes.
Soomi.
Of course.
//
“You’re taking Y/N on a date?” Namjoon’s eyebrows couldn’t climb higher if he tried. 
Jungkook shrugs and takes a bite out of the microwave spaghetti bolognese he’s just prepared himself.
“Yeah.  Why?” Taehyung scoffs from his place on the couch, eyes rolling so far back into his head, Jungkook’s scared he might lose his eyeballs.
“Oh my god.  You are the dumbest person alive.”
Jungkook pulls a face, “What?” “You really don’t see how ridiculous this whole thing is?”  Taehyung crosses his arms and cocks his head to the side, “Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don’t see what we see.” “And what do you see?” It’s Jungkook’s turn to raise a brow.  He watches as Namjoon shoots Taehyung a look.
Something that reads a whole lot like: shut the fuck up.
But Taehyung seems to pay no mind.  He clicks his tongue.
“You like Y/N.”
“Oh fuck off.  Not this again.”  Jungkook is so tired of hearing this, and it’s only the second time.
Namjoon sighs heavily and pauses for a moment - setting his studying to one side and giving Jungkook a serious look.
Oh god.
Here it is.
“You’re taking her on a date.” Namjoon is very serious when he says this and Jungkook almost laughs.
“As practice. For Park Jimin… the guy she actually likes, Joon.” 
Jungkook’s friend gives him a look. 
“The guy she actually likes?” 
“Yes,” Jungkook rolls his eyes, “I’ve been through this already.  I’m helping Y/N with Jimin and she’s helping me with Soomi.  That’s the only reason we’ve been hanging out so much.” 
Jungkook doesn’t mention that he also really enjoys Y/N’s company.  That regardless of Soomi, he still wants to be her friend.  
He reckons that will just make everything worse. 
“She likes you, you fuckwit.”  This comes from Taehyung, who seems so absolutely done with the conversation, Jungkook flips him off. 
“No she doesn’t.” 
Namjoon clicks his tongue, “I hate to agree with Tae-” 
“Hey!” “But he’s right.” 
Jungkook wants to wipe that stupid look of both of their faces.  Like he’s stupid.  Like he hasn’t caught on to the most obvious thing on the planet. 
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” He settles on trying to ignore then, “We’re just friends.” 
“Just friends my ass,” Taehyung pushes, “She likes you Jungkook.  And you like her too.” 
“I like Soomi.” “You think you like Soomi,” He shakes his head vehemently, “But you don’t know her.  Not really.  It’s just the idea of her.” 
“I like Soomi,” He repeats, this time louder. 
Namjoon turns to Taehyung and they share a look.  
And Jungkook hates it. 
But he bites his tongue because he knows despite everything - they think they’re looking out for him. 
“Alright.”  Namjoon raises his hands in surrender, “You like Soomi.” 
Taehyung doesn’t say anything.  He just shakes his head and picks his phone out of his pocket. 
Jungkook wants to feel satisfied, but for some reason he isn’t.
He pushes the weird, gaping feeling in his chest down and turns back to his meal.
They don’t know what they’re talking about.
//
Jungkook decides to take Y/N out for Mexican food.
One - it’s her favourite.  She has sung the praises of tacos and burritos on more than one occasion.
And two - because it’s fun.  Mexican food has a way of making the atmosphere lighter than cotton candy.
Jungkook isn’t sure why - but he knows that of all the hundreds of first dates he’s been on - a Mexican restaurant almost never fails to impress.
And when Y/N texts him half an hour before he’s meant to meet up with her, he opens the message expecting some last minute worry but instead finds a joke.
Y/N: Would it be too much if I brought my own hot sauce?
Jungkook scoffs a laugh.
Jungkook: guuuurl. it is a mexican restaurant… u kno they got their own hot sauce!!!!
A minute later she sends him a gif of someone flipping him off and Jungkook has to laugh.  She really is something.
Y/N insists they meet at the restaurant (for fear that Soomi might catch them and assume the absolute worst) and even though Jungkook feels kind of bad, he agrees because he really, really, really can’t risk Soomi thinking the worst.
So when he finds himself alone in a booth waiting for the ever punctual Y/N to show up ten minutes after their agreed meeting time, he starts coming up with theories.
Theories like that she got into some kind of car crash.
Or that she’s been abducted by aliens.
Ripped through the time space continuum and now she’s in a parallel universe where Jungkook doesn’t get the girl and Soomi thinks he’s a pathetic fuckboy.
Jungkook starts to sweat - he takes a long gulp from the glass of water in front of him - and despite himself he feels something like anxiety crawling up his back.
He knows he’s over exaggerating. 
He has to be… right? 
But just before he picks up his phone and does something crazy like report her to the police as a missing person, the front door swings open and there she is.  
For a moment, Jungkook is taken back to the night he met her.  It’s all blurry of course.  Looked at through the lens of drunkenness that seven tequilas does to a person.  But he remembers suddenly seeing her across the dancefloor of the club.
It was her smile that got him, he thinks.
“Hi.”  She breathes when she reaches the table.
“Hi,” He gives her an appreciative look, “Urm.  Hello.  You look great.” She blushes hotly, “Soomi.  This is all Soomi.”
“She did a good job,” He grins widely at her as she slides into the seat opposite him.
She’s wearing a dress - something form-fitting and short - and her hair is sleek and straight. 
“You clean up good Miss Y/N.”  
The compliment blooms a fresh blush to her cheeks.  She shakes her head.
“Shut up.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, “What did you tell her anyway?” Y/N quirks a brow.
“Who?” “Soomi,” He clarifies and for a moment, it’s almost as if she deflates.
Weird.
“Oh right.  Yeah.”  Her lips stretch into a small smile, “I told her I was going on a date with someone from my English class.  So not a lie.  Just an omission of truth.”
Soomi has been texting Jungkook all afternoon.  She mentioned a free house and Jungkook had begrudgingly turned her down of course.
Soomi has no idea why he really turned her down - he told her he had to study for a test next week - but the truth is of course he’s sat in a Mexican restaurant on a pretend date with her best friend.
He shakes his head to get rid of the migraine that thought creates.
“You don’t feel bad?” Jungkook asks, to quell his own doubt.
Y/N tuts.
“No of course not.  You said it yourself, Jungkookie.  This is for science.” The nickname is sweet.  Jungkook hasn’t been called that in years.
The last person to use Jungkookie had been his grandmother and she passed away when he was seventeen.  He feels something warm settle in his chest.
“So did you bring the hot sauce?” Y/N laughs, “That was a joke.” “Was it?” “Okay maybe I was testing the waters,” She giggles and Jungkook finds the sound adorable, “But after you shamed me I couldn’t bring myself to put it in my bag.” Jungkook laughs - something loud and round.  He notices how much Y/N makes him laugh.
The accusation she makes about herself - that she’s a shy, quiet wallflower - makes no sense to him.
“You’re not a wallflower Y/N,” He tells her decidedly - genuinely. 
The comment throws her off.
“What?” “Stop saying that about yourself,” He shakes his head, “You’re funny.  And you’re not a wallflower okay?  You shine too.”
She stares at him for a moment before moving her gaze away.  He sees something flicker across her face - shyness?  Embarrassment?  A combination of the two? - but when she turns back to him she rolls her eyes.
“That’s cheesy Jungkook.  You shine.” He reaches over to flick her wrist, “Shut up.  I’m trying to be nice.”
They’re interrupted by the waitress, who smiles flirtily at Jungkook as she takes their order - batting her eyelashes and giggling at the way he pronounces ‘desperado.’ 
When she leaves Y/N scoffs.
“What?”  Jungkook asks - semi-innocently.
He sort of knows what.  But he wants to hear her say it.
“She was all over you,” Y/N huffs, taking a long gulp out of the complimentary tap water they received when they arrived, “And I’m here with you.” “So?  You could be my sister.” “Oh my god shut up,” She pushes her glass away, “She totally knew we were on a date.” Jungkook neglects to mention that this isn’t a real date.  Instead he smirks.
“So what you’re saying is you’re jealous?” Y/N’s eyes widen and she sputters around for a second - coughing when she inhales her own spit.  Jungkook hides his smile behind his glass as he takes a drink.
“Why the fuck would I be jealous?”
He shrugs, “I don’t know.  You tell me.” “I just think it’s disrespectful.  Fake date or not - we’re still here together.”  She frowns deeply and just as Jungkook moves to agree with her (she’s right, really) the waitress shows up again.  
She sets their drinks down and Jungkook is shocked when she winks at him.
“A desperado for you,” She giggles, “Hope you enjoy it.” Y/N yanks her drink towards her and Jungkook stifles another laugh.  The waitress seems to be enjoying this too much.
“Thanks,” He grins widely, and his eyes flick over to Y/N, “My girlfriend loves these.  It’s the only reason I started drinking them in the first place.” And even though Y/N’s not his girlfriend - the rest of the story is true.
He remembers that first night they’d hung out - where they’d debated pineapple on pizza and played mario kart until one o’clock in the morning - Y/N had offered him his first desperado beer. And he’d been hooked ever since.
The waitress’s eyes move to Y/N.  She looks back over to Jungkook.
“Oh.”  There it is.  The shift in her demeanour. 
The disappointment.
Jungkook smiles again before the waitress nods her head and scurries away, like his words have burned her.
“Why did you do that?” Y/N hisses when the waitress is no longer in earshot.
Jungkook shrugs.
“You were right.  She was disrespecting you.”
Something flashes across Y/N’s face.  Jungkook isn’t sure what it is - but he knows it’s tender.  She smiles softly at him, and for some strange absurd reason, his heart skips a beat.
“Oh.”  The word is so soft - so quiet - he barely hears it.
Then: 
“Thanks.” Their gazes meet and there is a charged moment between them.  Jungkook feels something shift.
“No problem.”
Then the appetizers arrive and whatever weird tension was between them, dissipates.
Weird.
335 notes · View notes
latetaektalk · 7 months ago
Text
love to hate you | jjk [iv]
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“when obnoxiously rich and spoiled frat boy jeon jungkook comes up to you one day and asks you to fake date him for money, you definitely should have said no. because before you knew it, you were going on insta dates with him and having lunch with his equally obnoxiously rich and spoiled friends.”
genre: fratboy! AU, fake dating! AU, college! AU, enemies to lovers! AU, rich kid! AU, angst, fluff, sexual themes (later chapters)
pairing: jungkook x female reader
word count: 9.386
warnings: swearing, banter, mention of atla and the cabbage man again
a/n: this used to be my date me series, but ive changed the title! again i cant thank @lcksndkys​​​​​​ and @gamerkooks​​​​​​ enough for beta reading this! also, this is inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han!
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You loved autumn.
Every season was beautiful in its own way, but autumn was downright gorgeous and breathtaking. There was something else about the way the leaves changed colours and rained down to the ground, about the way steam would rise from your daily cup of tea, about the way your sweaters moved to the front of your closet, about the sound of cold rain tapping against the windows at night, about the quietness and calmness that came with autumn. 
“Can’t we sit inside? It’s so fucking cold!” Jisoo cursed, her face contorted in annoyance. “Plus, I think I stepped in piss earlier.”
You looked at her, a slice of orange hovering in front of your mouth. “I don’t think sitting inside is going to change anything about you stepping in piss.”
“Ugh, I know that.” She rolled her eyes at you and you popped the piece of fruit into your mouth. “But at least I won’t be cold inside.”
You blinked at her, thinking for a moment of arguing with her, but having had this conversation more times than you could remember, you decided against it, shrugging her off and finishing your orange instead.
“Y/N, please, let’s just go inside.”
“It’s not that cold,” you told her and formed a small mountain with the orange peel.
“Yes, fuck, it is. Look!” Jisoo shoved her arm into your face, sleeve rolled up, and you frowned.
“What am I supposed to be seeing here?” 
She dropped her arm. “Goosebumps, you blind fish,” she hissed and you took hold of her arm, inspecting it before looking back up to her and shaking your head.
“Nope, can’t see it.” Jisoo ripped her arm out of your grasp, a dramatic pout forming on her lips. You grinned at her.
“Please, let’s just-”
“Did you think about it?” you cut in, ignoring her plea.
“About what?” Jisoo shot back, shivering and wrapping her cardigan around herself when a gust of wind blew past you.
You tilted your head to the side, batting your eyes at her before elaborating, knowing that her answer was going to be no already. “Going to the pumpkin patch with me.”
Jisoo let out a groan.
“Why not?”
“It’s outside-”
“Yeah -”
“ - and well, it’s cold outside. I’m literally cold right now.”
“Wear my jacket then.”
Jisoo clicked her tongue, not quite convinced. You straightened up, scooting closer.
“Please, Ji, just go with me! It’s gonna be fun. I promise.” You knew you sounded like a child begging her mother for candy, knew you looked like it with your bottom lip jut out in a pout and your puppy eyes, but you couldn’t care less, determined to convince Jisoo.
And it was working.
“Well,” a heavy sigh, “what about-”
“Chae and Seok have papers to write,” you cut in. “And you know Jimin is allergic to hay.”
Jisoo stared at you, frown deepening and you knew that was a good sign, a sign she was slowly considering it, caving. 
“And remember, last year you promised you’d go with me! You have to go with me now,” you argued, eliciting a mix between a groan and a whine from Jisoo’s lips.
“It’s gonna be so cold though, Y/N.”
“You promised,” you reminded her, and for a moment, it seemed like you had done it, seemed like Jisoo was going to cave and agree. But her eyes grew wide, an idea popping into her mind. 
“Why don’t you go with your boyfriend?” 
You stilled. 
Right, Jungkook. If you were honest, you hadn’t thought about that possibility. Going with Jungkook hadn’t crossed your mind once, and you weren’t too sure if you liked the idea. Not that you had any doubts about him possibly rejecting you, but you were just not too fond of the part of where you would ask him to go with you. 
Yes, your pride and ego played a big part in why you couldn’t see that ever happening, but you also couldn’t imagine the two of you ever reaching that point in a conversation in which you could casually suggest to him to go to the pumpkin patch with you. 
And aside from that, you had actually not heard from or seen Jungkook in a week now. There were no texts or calls or showing up unannounced in front of your classes with a big bouquet of roses or knocking on the car window while you were talking to your friends.
Nothing.
That just added to the difficulty, made asking him to go with you impossible.
(For clarification, you hadn’t been waiting for Jungkook to reach out to you or anything. You didn’t care at all if he did or not. Really, you couldn’t care less. You had just... noticed he hadn’t.)
“That would be perfect, right?” Jisoo continued, taking your silence as you considering her suggestion. “This way you get to go-”
“But I wanna go with you,” you interrupted.
“But... I don’t wanna go,” she told you honestly, sighing. “Can’t you just go with- I mean isn’t this why people have significant others? So they have someone to hang out with when their friends can’t?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not why people get significant others.”
Jisoo tilted her head to the side, letting out a hum of disagreement. “Pretty sure it is.”
“Pretty sure it isn’t.”
“Pretty sure it is.” Before you could repeat yourself, she continued, “Look, just go with your boyfriend-”
“I don’t want to-”
“Go where?”
Jisoo and you whipped your heads around, your heart tumbling in your chest because there he was, Jungkook—your fake boyfriend who everyone thought was your real boyfriend—standing behind you.
“Hi, cabbage,” Jungkook beamed, rivalling the sun.
“Uh, hey-”
“Jungkook!” Jisoo exclaimed, hands clasping together, too excited for her own good. “You really have perfect timing! Y/N was just gonna ask-”
“Ji!” you pressed out, your jaw going rigid. “Don’t.”
Jisoo turned to you, blinking at you oh so innocently, seemingly thinking about what she was going to say next and when she turned back around to Jungkook and opened her mouth, you thought you were going to strangle her.
“Y/N was going to-”
“Ji!” you cut in again, a fake smile plastered on your lips. “You said you were cold, right? So why don’t you go inside and get me a cup of tea?”
Jisoo hissed, feigning upset. “I don’t have any money though.”
You drew in a deep breath through your nose, and you had to remind yourself over and over again that murder was bad when you got out your wallet, practically throwing it into her hands. “Now you do.”
“Ah, how great,” Jisoo smiled. “Do you want anything, Jungkook? My treat.”
“Well, if it’s your-”
“I’ll break up with you right now, Jeon.”
Seeing this as her cue to go and leave you two alone, Jisoo stood up, but not without blowing you a kiss and exchanging a look with Jungkook.
You watched her go before turning to him, mouth pursed in a line because well, it had been a week since you had last seen him. Not knowing what else to do you just turned away, cursing your past self for finishing your orange so quickly. The sound of leaves crunching under his soles pierced the air and you knew, he was walking towards you. Next thing you knew, Jungkook slipped into the seat beside you, his arm wrapping around your waist.
You looked down, a scowl appearing on your face. “What are you doing?”
“Why so hostile?” Jungkook asked, feigning hurt. “We’re dating, are we not?”
“Fake.”
“Same thing.”
“No, not the same thing,” you argued. “There’s a big difference-”
“You gonna tell me what you were just talking about?” Jungkook interrupted, changing the subject. You blinked at him before looking away because no, you were definitely not.
“Y/N.”
You looked at the nonexistent dirt under your nails.
“Y/N.”
You continued to pretend to not hear.
Jungkook let out a heavy sigh. “I could just ask Jisoo when she comes back.” 
And all of a sudden, you could hear Jungkook, snapping your head around and staring at him. Jungkook grinned, nearly rolling his eyes at your ridiculousness because of course, this would get you. 
You narrowed your eyes, lips pressing into a thin line. 
“Either you tell me or she does. Which would you prefer?” 
Jungkook added a shrug to his words, an irritatingly nonchalant shrug. You tongued the inside of your cheek, hating this because obviously, you weren’t going to let Jisoo tell him. Knowing her, she would somehow twist the truth.
You were hesitant though. Because you really didn’t want to tell Jungkook what you had been talking about because doing so subsequently meant asking him to go to the pumpkin patch with you, or, well, technically telling him that Jisoo was telling you to ask him to go to the pumpkin patch with you, but that was really the same thing as you asking him to-
The point was, your pride and ego was seriously about to take a hit, and boy, did you not want that.
But as you eyed Jungkook, you knew you had no choice.
“... fine,” you pressed, and Jungkook had to bite his lip to stop himself from snorting. If one of you was dramatic, it was definitely you, but he was smart enough not to voice that thought.
“Look,” you clasped your hands together, feeling the embarrassment rise in you. “Here’s the thing, going to a pumpkin patch is on my college bucket list, and since Chae and Seok have papers to write and Jimin is allergic to hay, Ji’s the only person who can go with me... but she doesn’t want to because she gets cold really easily and thinks it’s cold now, which is so stupid because it’s only beginning of autumn and not winter and-”
“You’re word vomiting,” Jungkook said. “What are you trying to tell me?”
You pursed your lips and closed your eyes for a moment, hoping that maybe just maybe you were going to get struck down right now and wouldn’t have to do this. Your hopes were futile, in the end you were forced to push through the embarrassment sitting in your bones.
 “Okay, look, I think what I’m trying to tell you is that none of my friends can or, well, want to go to the pumpkin patch with me and,” you swallowed, “that Ji might have suggested I should ask you to go to the pumpkin patch with me instead?”
Jungkook’s grin widened, mischief sparkling in his eyes.
“Are you?”
“What?”
His grin turned into a smirk. “Are you going to ask me to go to the pumpkin patch with you then?” 
“Didn’t I just?” you huffed out, turning away. And just like that, embarrassment turned into annoyance.
“Did you?” Jungkook titled his head to the side, tonguing his cheek. “Or did you just tell me that Jisoo told you to ask me?”
You gritted your teeth, so fucking tempted to tell him to forget it, but you had already gotten to this point, might as well just commit..
“Fine,” you spat out, an irritating flush warming your face. “Do you maybe wannagotoapumpkinpatchwithme?”
You thought asking the first time was bad enough, but somehow the second time was much worse. Probably because Jungkook didn’t agree instantly, letting you wallow in silence instead and think maybe he was going to reject you. And well, your ego and pride couldn’t take that.
So, in an attempt to save face, you went on, “I mean obviously only because we’re like fake dating and we still haven’t done that Insta date thing. And you know, I don’t want you to possibly blame me if people start doubting the legitimacy of our relationship because you don’t post enough about us on your Instagram or whatever bullshit-”
“God, you’re cute. I love you so much,” Jungkook whispered, words slipping off his tongue annoyingly casually. He chuckled. “Of course, I’ll go with you.”
You shoved your finger into his face. “Just to be clear though, we’re only going because we still have to do that Insta date thing. D-don’t get it twisted.” 
“Right,” Jungkook’s grin turned into a smirk, “that’s the only reason why we’re going.”
“Exactly.” You dropped your hand and looked away. “Good that we’re on the same-”
The rest of your sentence got stuck in your throat when Jungkook wrapped both of his arms around your waist, pulling you into a suffocating hug and burying his face into the crook of your neck.
“Jeon!” you gasped. “Stop it! We’re in public! Don’t-”
“Yeah, dude, you’re in public.”
You froze at the voice, face souring immediately because you knew exactly who it was. You didn’t hide the scowl when you turned around.
“Love,” Taehyung smiled when you met eyes, a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. 
“Kim,” you hissed back, fixing him with a glare, but he only chuckled, not the slightest bit bothered by your animosity, walking around and sitting down in Jisoo’s seat, sharing a quick and friendly ‘hey’ with Jungkook.
“You guys should really calm it on the PDA. It’s gross.” Taehyung took a sip from his cup, and even though you had wanted for Jungkook to stop hugging you ten seconds ago, you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him impossibly closer to you now.
“What? Jealous?” you hummed, offering Taehyung a fake smile. Jungkook caught on immediately, chuckling to himself before tightening his arms around you.
“Yeah, jealous, Tae?”
“Oh, very,” Taehyung snorted, taking another sip from his coffee before putting it down, turning to you. “It’s been a minute since I’ve seen you, love. Last time you were running away from me.”
“Technically, we were running away from you.” 
“I was very hurt,” Taehyung said, completely ignoring your correction and putting his hand over his heart instead, jutting out his bottom lip. How you managed not to roll your eyes at him was a mystery to you.
“Well, blame Jeon. He’s the one that suggested it.”
Jungkook let out a rather dramatic gasp. “Cabbage! Don’t throw me under-”
“‘Cabbage’? What kind of pet name is that?” Taehyung interrupted, looking almost disgusted.
“What’s wrong with ‘cabbage’?” you shot back, offended even though you felt a similar way as he did about the pet name. “It’s cute.”
“‘Cabbage’? You wanna be called- you are fine with that?” Taehyung quirked a brow, squinting at you.
“It’s cute, dude. You don’t have taste,” Jungkook argued.
Taehyung wasn’t convinced, frowning and shaking his head in disapproval. “How did you come up with that?”
“In ‘Avatar The Last-”
You stopped when Taehyung let out a groan, the kind of groan that a teacher would be met with when they announce homework at the end of class. You paused, not sure how to interpret that groan.
“He doesn’t like the show,” Jungkook informed you and you gasped the same dramatic way Jungkook always did.
“You don’t like ‘Avatar’-”
“And you clearly do,” Taehyung stated quietly with a roll of his eyes. “It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that Kook is so fucking obsessed with it that he won’t shut up about it. Sorry that I’m not fond of it anymore after listening to him talk about it every waking minute.”
“How can you not love the show? It’s literally the greatest show, literally. Have you ever watched any show that has beat it in quality and consistency? That has somehow managed to be incredibly hopeful, uplifting, fun and gut wrenchingly tragic and tear inducing at the same- it literally has the greatest and most iconic intro TV history has ever seen!” you said, channeling your inner Jungkook, making a proud smile grow on his lips.
“God, you sound like Kook,” Taehyung mumbled, rolling his eyes at you a second time. “The show is not that great. I mean fire boy is kinda cool, but aside from that-”
’’Kinda cool’? You think Zuko is only ‘kinda cool’?” you repeated, getting worked up in ways Jungkook only has so far when you talked about the show. “Zuko isn’t just ‘kinda cool’, Kim. He’s literally the most well rounded character on the show- in TV history, period. Not only does he go through perfect character development, but he’s without a doubt one of the most interesting and inspiring characters-”
“And Katara,” Jungkook threw in and you were quick to agree, nodding and snapping your finger.
“Yes, and Katara! But you probably think she’s annoying and naggy, don’t you, Kim?” You squinted at Taehyung, and when he wouldn’t disagree with you, you just scoffed. “Typical. I’m not surprised. You’ve got no taste. Katara is hands down one of the best characters in the show.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying! Katara is literally a whole badass!”
“Total badass! She’s so misunderstood by-”
“That’s it. I’m gonna go look for normal, non-obsessive ‘Avatar The Last Airbender’ people to hang out with,” Taehyung announced, grabbing his cup of coffee and offering the two of you one last look like you were completely crazy. But neither of you cared, returning to your conversation about how cool and amazing Katara and Zuko were.
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[You - 07:28 PM] : hey
[Jungkook - 08:24 PM] : am i dreaming or areyou actually texting me rn cabbage o.O
[Jungkook - 08:24 PM] : to what do i owe this honour??
[You - 08:27 PM] : why are you so dramatic for no reason?
[You - 08:27 PM] : seriously I regret txting you now
[Jungkook - 08:28 PM] : cmon that was funny!! youve gotta admit youv never texted me first before 
[You - 08:30 PM] : ugh, whatever I just texted you to ask you if you’re free on saturday
[Jungkook - 08:30 PM] : uhhh why?
[You - 08:32 PM] : what do you mean why? have you already forgoten what we talked about today?
[Jungkook - 08:32 PM] : ???
[You - 08:33 PM] : you’re not actually serious right? don’t you remember? I asked you to go w me to the pumpkin patch today?
[Jungkook - 08:33 PM] : ofc i remember! im just messing with you lol 
[You - 08:33 PM] : why? literally why
[Jungkook - 08:34 PM] : just wanted you to say again that you asked me out today!! makes me feel super euphoric and like a main character in a cheesy teen romcom
[You - 08:34 PM] : im blocking you
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The week passed by in the blink of an eye and soon enough, you were standing in the middle of a pumpkin patch. 
Childish excitement brewed in you, stewed in your gut. It was stupid, you were aware. You shouldn’t be this excited, but you couldn’t help yourself. And how could you? You had wanted to go to a pumpkin patch ever since you had first driven past one with your parents. You still remembered how the hues of orange, yellow, and red had rendered your eight year old self completely fascinated and speechless. 
And like you were still just an eight year old child, sitting in the back of your parents’ car, inexperienced so everything was incredibly impressive and warranted a dramatic reaction, your mouth was wide open as you looked around yourself. But that initial shock quickly turned into amazement, the corners of your lips pulling up into a dopey smile, heart pounding in your chest because you were here! At a pumpkin patch! Finally!
“It’s so pretty,” you said under your breath, barely glancing at Jungkook when he appeared next to you. He was still busy trying to shove the change into his pocket, but stopped when he saw the sparkle in your eyes, a soft smile forming on his lips.
“Cabbage,” he whispered quietly, and you were too mesmerised to pay him any attention. When he gently nudged you though, you turned around. “Look, goats.”
Your eyes grew big when you saw where he was pointing at.
Goats. 
Without a moment of hesitation, you grabbed Jungkook’s hand and pulled him towards them. You kneeled down, right in front of a goat that was lazily lying on its stomach and chewing on some hay. Automatically you reached out to pet the goat, but midway you stopped.
“You think I can pet it?” you whispered and turned to Jungkook, looking up at him with big hopeful eyes. His heart stuttered in his chest.
“Uh, I’m not sure.” He looked around for a sign, sighing in relief when he found one. “Yeah, ‘petting allowed’.”
Jungkook barely got to see the huge grin forming on your lips before you turned back around and reached your hand through the fence, softly petting the goat’s fur. It bleated at your touch, enjoying it.
“Oh my god, it’s so cute,” you gasped, pressing your lips together in a vain attempt to stop the squeals from breaking through.
Jungkook smiled, kneeling down himself, but he wasn’t looking at the goat. He was watching you- only you. He thought goats were cute as well, this one in particular, but you were cuter. Your bottom lip jutted out, eyes sparkling brighter than the stars, holding so much love and warmth in your pupils it should be impossible. Everything paled in comparison to you.
And as Jungkook looked at you, he felt a familiar pulling on his heart, something that had noticed for a while now. 
His eyes softened when another squeal broke from your lips (the goat had moved a bit). 
Right then, as Jungkook looked at you, he knew. He had to memorise this, take a picture of you. He would regret it if he didn’t snap at least one picture of you, kick himself for it later. 
So, he pulled out his phone and opened his camera, aiming his phone at you as discreetly as he could, thankful that you were so distracted by the cuteness of the goat that you had completely forgotten about him.
Taehyung would definitely scold Jungkook for the amount of times he was pressing on the shutter, would definitely tell him this wasn’t the optimal way to photograph anything. But Jungkook couldn’t give a flying fuck, just wanting to capture this moment, wanting to capture you.
It took a while for you to notice and when you did-
“Jeon!” you gasped, struggling between wanting to keep your voice down in order to not scare the goat and wanting to hiss at Jungkook for taking pictures of you. “S-stop it! You can’t just do that!” 
“You looked cute,” Jungkook told you, shrugging and smiling shamelessly. “I had to.”
Your cheeks warmed at his words. “Ugh, just cover my face with an emoji or something before posting. I- I wasn’t prepared. I must look so weird.”
And for a moment, Jungkook didn’t know what you were talking about, had forgotten that this was only an Insta date and you were hanging out mainly to take pictures and post them, so other people believed you were genuinely dating. It was nice to forget about that and God, how he wished you wouldn’t have reminded him.
“Yeah, right,” he cleared his throat and stood up when you did. “I- yeah, I’m not sure if I’m gonna post these pictures.”
He definitely wasn’t. He wasn’t going to share them with anyone.
“Okay, good,” you said, nodding before looking around, eyes scanning for something to do. With a snap of your head, you turned back around, grin growing on your lips. “Wanna go pick out a pumpkin?”
Jungkook blinked at you before grinning too because how could he possibly not? How could he possibly not reciprocate your grin with one of his own? How could he possibly not when you were making his heart stutter in his chest like he was thirteen again?
“Whoever can pick out the best one?”
“Is that a challenge?”
He tongued his cheek, tilting his head to the side. “Scared?”
“Of you crying because you’re gonna lose?” You raised a brow, tilting your head to the side too, and Jungkook had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from grinning too much.
“Crying?” he scoffed, shaking his head. “I think you’re mistaking me with yourself here. I’m the fucking champion of picking out pumpkins. Just ask Tae or Jin. Don’t project here, yeah?”
You stretched out your hand. “How about we meet up here in ten minutes again to see who picked out the best pumpkin?”
Jungkook couldn’t grasp your hand fast enough.
“It’s on.”
With a quick shake and a nod it was sealed, the ten minutes beginning now.
Unlike you, Jungkook didn’t immediately start his search for the perfect pumpkin. Instead, he watched you, hands by his side and a smile on his lips, eyes so soft it was almost gross.
Without thinking, Jungkook pulled out his phone, opened his camera app and zoomed in on you. You were once again too busy to notice him, standing in the distance by a pumpkin stand and inspecting a pumpkin in your hands. Jungkook almost started laughing when you shook it, you looked adorably stupid doing that.
He took probably (re: definitely) far too many pictures of you, spent probably (re: definitely) too much time on capturing you and your adorableness, but he didn’t care. Because when he finally began his search, the smile on his lips never disappeared, you making him so fucking happy by being just… you.
You gasped when you saw a particularly pretty pumpkin, rushing over to it and picking it up, inspecting it to make sure it was really perfect. When you saw Jungkook appear next to you though, you stopped, eyeing him suspiciously as you hugged your pumpkin close to your body.
“What are you doing here?”
Jungkook turned to you, putting down a pumpkin he had just deemed mediocre at best. “Uh, did you already forget we’re doing a pumpkin picking competition?” Jungkook laughed, looking around before picking up a pumpkin, turning it back and forth to inspect it from every angle.
It was perfect. He was serious when he had told you that he was the champion of picking out pumpkins. It was obvious that the one he held right now was a winner. You were going to lose, no doubt about that.
“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean why are you,” you gestured around, “here? Go look for a pumpkin somewhere else, stalker.”
“You think I’m following you?” Jungkook snorted before laughing, throwing his head back and scoffing. “Please, if anything you’re following me!”
“I was literally here first,” you said, chortling almost.
“Hm, yeah, I don’t think so,” he told you, continuing before you could insist you were definitely here first. “Also, why are you looking at me like I’m gonna steal that pumpkin from you?”
“Aren’t you?” you asked, hugging the pumpkin closer to yourself.
“You think I would- if anyone should be eyeing the other like a thief and cheater, it should be me. After all, I’m the champion of picking out pumpkins,” he said.
You rolled your eyes. “Ugh, you’re so full of yourself.” 
Not wanting to waste your time on talking with Jungkook any longer, you turned away, focusing back on the challenge.
You registered the chuckle slipping past Jungkook’s lips, but you missed the way he glanced at his pumpkin and then at yours, missed him walking over to a section he knew you hadn’t looked through yet and put down his pumpkin in exchange for another one, a worse one. 
“Hey, cabbage,” Jungkook called and you turned around. “I’m gonna go over there, yeah? So, don’t you dare follow me.”
“Like I’d follow you, Jeon!” you bit back and continued on your search.
Jungkook just smiled to himself before walking away and giving you some space. When he turned and looked at you again, his smile grew into a grin. 
Because there you were, walking over to the section of pumpkins he had just stood at. He beamed and almost cheered out loud when you picked up his previous pumpkin, watching you gasp like a child on Christmas day opening presents, because yes, that was the best pumpkin!. So completely unaware that Jungkook had put that pumpkin there for you.
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After exploring the rest of the pumpkin patch, enduring your excessive bragging and teasing (“I thought you were the champion in picking out pumpkin?”), petting even more goats and giving the corn maze a try (in which Jungkook got separated from you a total of four (!) times somehow, proving that his navigational skills were really absolute shit), you were drained and exhausted.
So, now you were sitting on top of a pile of hay, still half of the pumpkin patch unexplored.
“You’re seriously in love with that thing, aren’t you?” Jungkook snorted, leaning back on his hands, and eyed your pumpkin that was sitting in your lap like it was your baby (it was).
“Have you seen how perfect it is?” you asked, holding it up to show him, like this hadn’t been the pumpkin Jungkook had picked out before you. “Of course I love it.”
And even though he still didn’t quite get it (it was just a pumpkin after all in his opinion), he was happy. Because you were. And that was all he wanted- to see you smile and enjoy yourself. Mission accomplished, one might say.
“Hey?”
You hummed. 
“Do you really have a college bucket list?”
You paused, remembering how you had mentioned that when you had asked Jungkook to accompany you here. “Yeah, I do. Don’t need to say it, I know it’s stupid.”
“Show me,” he said. “What do you have on it?”
You were hesitant, contemplating to refuse, but in the end, you put your pumpkin next to you and pulled out your phone. What was there to hide? Your college bucket list was really not that spectacular. 
With a few swipes, the notes app was pulled up. You clicked on the document named ‘my college buckt list’. (You had yet to correct the spelling mistake, simply too lazy to.)
You handed Jungkook your phone.
“‘Sit in on one of Hoseok’s international relations classes to see if it’s really that bad’,” Jungkook read, looking up to you. “And?”
You shuddered at the memory. “Complete shit. Can’t recommend.”
“‘Go to philosophy class hungover’,” Jungkook continued, looking at you again, but you just shook your head, not wanting to talk about it.
Jungkook grinned, reading the next point of your list. “‘Watch the sun-’ you’ve never watched the sun rise before?” 
He gasped.
You rolled your eyes. “I’ve come close to.”
But your explanation wasn’t enough, Jungkook still staring at you wide-eyed, thinking it was impossible, that you, as a full time college student, had never ever in your life watched the sunrise before. 
“H-how?” 
You shrugged. “Dunno, just never have. I just always fall asleep.” 
And at that, he shook his head, clicked his tongue too. When he added a sigh, you rolled your eyes, finding this all just a bit too dramatic. 
“Well, looks like I know what we will do next,” Jungkook mumbled. “By the way, can I tick off ‘Going to a pumpkin patch’ for you?” 
You shrugged, not caring much. “Go ahead.”
Jungkook tapped on the circle, ticking it off, and weirdly enough, he felt a sense of accomplishment. It wasn’t even his college bucket list.
“How come you have never gone to a pumpkin patch before?” he asked you while he handed your phone back.
You shrugged, shoving the device back into your pocket. “Just never have.”
“Not even as a kid? With your parents?” Jungkook asked, brows furrowing together.
“Not even as a kid,” you admitted with a scrunch of your nose and looked off to the side, gaze landing on a family of three—mother, father and young daughter—in the distance, picking out a pumpkin, the young daughter carefully scanning every single one. Your heart melted because that was all you had wanted as an eight year old—to go to a pumpkin patch with your parents and pick out a pumpkin.
“I mean I wanted to go, but my parents always had to work, you know? Just never had the time to take me as a kid,” you explained and shrugged. There was a confused look on Jungkook’s face and you knew exactly what he was thinking—what kind of parents don’t have time to take their daughter to a pumpkin patch?
“They work multiple jobs,” you jumped to their defense before Jungkook could come up with an explanation himself. “We were kinda struggling when I was young.” You went on, knowing exactly what question was going to follow. “My mom got pregnant rather young, and, well, to put it nicely, neither of my grandparents were particularly happy, so for the first couple years, my parents were on their own. They came around eventually, but it was still difficult... still is, to be honest.”
“Oh.” It was all Jungkook said and all he had to say. He clearly hadn’t expected for you to share all of that with him and if you were honest, neither had you. But you had and that was fine, for now. You knew already you were going to regret sharing by the end of the day, so you refused to start now.
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“They go gobble gobble, right?” you asked as you looked at the turkey in front of you, studying it curiously because you had never been this close to one before. It was not nearly as cute as the goat you determined.
“It’s a weird sound,” Jungkook laughed and leaned forward too, the two of you sitting on a bench nearby the turkey cage.
“The goats were cuter.”
He looked at you. “Wanna go back then?”
“No, it’s still kinda cute,” you mumbled and pulled out your phone, grabbing a few pictures, for the memory.
You turned to Jungkook when he suddenly looked at you. “I already wanted to ask you this before, but are Hoseok and Chae a thing?”
You laughed like he had just told a joke and shook your head, straightening up. He mirrored you. “I wish, Jeon. I fucking wish.” 
“But... it’s so obvious they’ve got feelings for each other?” Jungkook argued, furrowing his brows because it made literally no sense to him that Chaeyoung and Hoseok weren’t dating when they were clearly in love with one another.
“Well, they’re both idiots,” you told him. “Scared idiots.”
“Sure are,” Jungkook agreed. “I mean it was so obvious. It’s one of the first things I noticed. I’ve been meaning to ask you this all week now-”
“What have you been up to this past week? How come I didn’t hear from you?” You peered at him, but paused the next moment because it dawned on you how weird your questions were. After all, Jungkook and you weren’t actually dating or anything. You weren’t even friends. He didn’t have to keep in touch with you.
“I mean obviously you don’t owe me an explanation, but I just noticed you hadn’t reached out, and I just wondered. You know what? Forget it. You don’t have to answer-”
“No, no, no, that’s a valid question,” Jungkook said. “Sorry about the radio silence.” He continued before you could tell him that you were just as guilty, you could have reached out to him as well. “But I was busy studying for my midterm.”
You weren’t sure what answer you had expected, but Jungkook not reaching out to you because he was studying for the past week took you by surprise. It had never crossed your mind he could possibly be studying… which was stupid, considering it was midterm season. God, you really were judgemental.
“Right.” You nodded awkwardly because you felt stupid now. “What’s your major again? I don’t think you told me.”
“Physics.” 
“Oh.” 
“Yeah, it’s super lame, I know-”
“What?” You looked genuinely confused, a deep knit between your brows. “Physics isn’t lame at all. Why would- I find it really cool to be honest..”
Jungkook chuckled. “You do?”
“Jeon, I liked physics in high school so much, I actually thought about majoring in it. But I just never had the guts to- too difficult. I have no idea how you do it.”
“It’s not that-”
“You must be really smart,” you continued on and you meant it, genuinely impressed by the fact that Jungkook was studying physics. You had always thought it was interesting yourself but a bit too difficult and hard in your opinion.
“Thanks,” he grinned. “I’m sure you could have done it too though. Majored in physics, I mean. You’re super smart too.”
You cringed at his words, thinking the exact opposite. “Don’t be ridiculous. I couldn’t have. I’m not nearly as smart as you think I am.”
“You’re not-” Jungkook cut himself short, shaking his head. “Right, you’re a genius.”
You frowned, laughing almost because he was being ridiculous now, but before you could point it out, Jungkook continued. “Don’t try to deny it. I know you’re a fucking genius.”
“How-”
“We have philosophy together.”
“You never attend-”
“Well, sometimes I do,” he interjected. “And the times I do, I’ve always been amazed by your intelligence.”
“Have you already forgotten I misquoted Freud in class once?” you shot back.
“Okay, fine,” Jungkook admitted, but before you could celebrate your victory, he continued, “but I also remember you going on and explaining Freud’s psychoanalytic theory and how the Id, Ego, and Superego are connected with one another.” 
Your gaze wandered to Jungkook, cheeks growing warm because he was right. After your little mistake, you had managed to fight through the embarrassment and explain Freud’s psychoanalytic theory. “And you did that perfectly, without looking at your notes! That was super impressive. I could never.”
You shook your head. “If you’d attend class, you also could have-”
“Why do you want to convince me so much that you’re not smart?” Jungkook asked. “Do you genuinely think that of yourself?”
You paused.
Did you?
“I- no,” you started, knit growing between your brows as you continued, letting Jungkook’s question repeat in your mind over and over again. “I-I guess you could say I’m smart, but- I just, I don’t know. I don’t wanna come off arrogant-.”
“‘I guess you could I’m’-” Jungkook scoffed, clicking his tongue at you and shaking his head. “Look, It’s not arrogant of you to state the truth. You are smart, period. Stop trying to convince me otherwise.”
You wanted to disagree with Jungkook, tell him you weren’t trying to convince him of anything, opened your mouth to say that, but then it dawned on you. He was right. He was. He really was. And so, you switched out your words of disagreement with words of agreement.
“Y-yeah,” you lowered your head, embarrassed, “I guess you’re right.”
“Say it,” Jungkook prompted. “Say you’re smart.”
Your eyes grew wide, face flushing hot because admitting that Jungkook was right and actually saying you were smart? Two completely different things. And admitting that he was right in the first place was already embarrassing and hard enough.
“I won’t drop this until you say it,” he told you. Jungkook quirked his brow at you, giving you a look that left you with no other option but to cave.
“... I’m smart.”
“You’re right, that is arrogant. You are-” Jungkook stopped when he saw your shocked expression, your mouth wide open and eyes so huge they might as well fall out. 
“Jeon!” you gasped before smiling and laughing because it clicked with you. Saying that you were smart, didn’t make you arrogant. It didn’t, not even a tiny bit.
You mumbled something underneath your breath before turning back to the turkeys, hand falling into your open palm as you studied them once more. Because you didn’t know. Did you think they were ugly or not?
You were so busy trying to figure out this question, you missed the way Jungkook looked at you with soft and mushy eyes.
If you had turned around, you would have seen it, seen the way his gaze traced every curve and dip of your face, seen the way he was holding his breath because you looked absolutely ethereal with the sun slowly dipping below the horizon and casting a warm glow on your skin, seen the urge grow in Jungkook to take a picture of you.
When he tried this time though—phone pulled out and camera open—you noticed, face contorting in annoyance.
“No, let’s not do that, Jeon.” You put up a hand.
“Why not? That’s the purpose of today, right? That I take pictures of you and post them on Insta?” Jungkook argued, knowing very well you couldn’t say anything against that. “Plus, the light is nice right now.”
“But-” You stared at him, the corners of your mouth turned downwards. “Ugh, fine,” you grumbled, admitting defeat. 
Your breath hitched when Jungkook instantly scooted closer to you, stretching out his arm and angling the camera until the two of you were in frame. You adjusted your hair and when you were done and smiling into the camera—the corners of your lips feeling incredibly tense though—Jungkook hit the shutter a handful of times.
“Okay, enough, enough,” you said and turned away, finding your smile to be too awkward.
“No, wait. Just one more. I need something to post on my story.”
“W-what about the ones we just took?”
“I’m gonna post those to my feed. I need something different for my story though. Now, smile,” Jungkook told you and aimed his phone at you, only you.
“No, that’s so weird, Jeon,” you whined, face growing hot. “It feels so awkward when it’s only me in the picture. I don’t like that.”
Jungkook rolled his eyes at you, but before you could rip into him for it, he pulled you into frame with him, beaming into the camera. Left with no other option, you mustered up a smile, one that looked even more awkward than the other one. This time, he noticed.
“You really don’t like getting your picture taken, do you?” He dropped his arm.
You scowled. “My smile that ugly, huh?”
“What? No,” Jungkook shook his head, “that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just… a little awkward.”
“Well, sorry, I can’t be a model and natural in front of the camera,” you grumbled, rolling your eyes and twisting a piece of hay around your finger (because the entire place was covered in hay.). “Honestly, if anything it’s weird that you’re so comfortable in front of the camera.”
“Excuse me?”
“Like, how many pictures must you have taken of yourself that you’re so comfortable with it? Narcissistic if you ask me.” You shrugged, deep down knowing very well you were spewing bullshit right now.
Jungkook stared at you, a mix between disbelief and amusement. In the end, he laughed though, shaking his head and before you could process it, snapping a picture of you.
“How many pictures do you think it’s gonna take until you stop being judgemental?” he asked you, grinning.
“You’re so annoying,” you hissed, crossing your arms in front of your chest like a child. Jungkook poked you in the rib in response, making you jump and snap your head to him.
“Come on, just smile,” he encouraged you, putting an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer, his phone up in the air again, but you couldn’t even bring the corners of your lips to lift up, feeling self-conscious now about how awkward your smile was. (You knew deep down this wasn’t what Jungkook had meant but still, the comment was repeating in your mind like a broken record.)
“Smile and I’ll buy you chocolate chip cookies.”
You gasped, turning to look at Jungkook and see if he was serious, mouth wide open in surprise. 
“Really?” you smiled and before you could realise he had only said that for the sake of the picture, he hit the shutter. When it all clicked in your mind, your smile fell off.
“Aw, don’t look so disappointed,” Jungkook told you, pinching your nose and smiling at you like that would make it better.
“I’m not,” you grumbled, turning away in fear he would pinch your nose again, the slight pout on your lips making it very hard to believe you. And when Jungkook fixed you with this doubtful look, you rolled your eyes, gritting your teeth. “You tricked me.”
There is an accusatory tone colouring your words, one that was seemingly funny because Jungkook laughed and put his arm around you, pulling you into a hug you didn’t want to be pulled in.
“Aw, I’m sorry, cabbage,” he cooed into your ear like you weren’t trying to push him away. “Don’t be mad at me.”
“Let go of me right now or I’ll punch you in the fucking dick,” you hissed, but with your face smushed against his shoulder, your words lost the edge you wanted them to have. But it was still enough, Jungkook letting go.
“I hate you,” you spat out, but he just grinned at you. He looked at his phone and pulled up the pictures.
“We look cute.” 
Turns out, Jungkook was right. You did look cute. Both of you were smiling and neither of you looked awkward at all. While Jungkook was expertly looking into the camera, his smile as bright as the sun, your eyes were on him, a hint of surprise reflected on your face and a smile on your lips, your love for chocolate chip cookies to be thanked here. 
You couldn’t believe how perfect the picture it was, couldn’t even believe existed in the first place. Because here you were, Jungkook and you sitting next to each other, his arm around you and both of you smiling. Looking at it, it was easy to forget that this was as staged and fake as it could get, that you weren’t a real couple.
“Yeah, we do,” you agreed quietly and watched Jungkook open Instagram and add the picture to his stories, typing up a caption.
“What do you think?” He showed you his phone.
“‘Having a gourd time with my cabbage’,” you read, and there was a frown on your face when you looked at Jungkook. Unlike you, he was beaming, clearly super proud of his awful and terrible pun, expecting you to double over in laughter, but you just stared at him, face void of any emotion.
“You get it? Gourd instead of-”
“Yes, Jeon, I get it,” you told him, stopping him before he could explain his stupid pun to you. “Proud?”
“Very.”
You stared at him silently for a few seconds, sighing heavily. “How long did it take you to come up with that one?” 
“... might have been thinking of puns for the last couple of days now,” Jungkook admitted quietly, and you heaved out another sigh, shaking your head in disappointment.
“You’re so cringy.”
And at that, Jungkook gasped, as dramatically and theatrically as he always did.
“Can’t you at least pretend like you think I’m funny?” 
“Yeah, that costs extra.”
“And you scolded Jisoo for exploiting me,” Jungkook bit back.
“Well, you said you’re all mine to exploit, didn’t you?” you hummed, scrunching your nose. “You are my boyfriend after all, right?”
Jungkook stared at you, blinked three times before he tilted his head to the side and tongued his cheek, defeat.
“Touché.”
And then, neither of you said anything, both of you quieting down and allowing each other to just silently sit next to each other, the chatter and laughter of children running around you serving as quiet background noise. 
It was easy, surprisingly easy, you realised. To sit next to Jungkook, you mean. It was surprisingly easy to do that, the silence not feeling suffocating or tense between you. It was baffling almost, the fact that the sun was setting behind you, the sky a deep rich orange. Hours had passed now, and it hadn’t felt like that at all. It was weird to think about, how time had flown by in a blink of an eye, and it was even more weird to think about how the past hours had been… enjoyable, fun, easy. 
“Hey?”
You snapped your head around. You paused when you saw the look on Jungkook’s face. You couldn’t say what exactly it was, but it had a knit growing between your brows. 
Something was wrong.
You knew it right away, heart slowly dropping into your gut. It didn’t help that Jungkook refused to meet your gaze, looking past your shoulder instead. 
“There this thing- I didn’t tell you then, but…” he trailed off and God, that was just the worst because you waited and waited and waited for him to find the end of his sentence, but he didn’t, leaving you hanging.
“What, Jeon?” 
Jungkook finally looked at you, staring at you silently before taking a deep breath and finding his voice. (How you wished he hadn’t.)
“He asked if you were okay.” 
You blinked at him, three times in total before he continued, taking your silence as a sign to, sounding so unsure though.
“When I, uh, walked back into the café? To get your bag? He asked if you were okay,” Jungkook told you and averted his gaze, eyes following two siblings chasing each other.
It took a moment for his words to click with you, for you to understand them, and when you did, right then, in that exact moment, the world stopped spinning, the air getting pressed out of your lungs and the sound of children running around filtering away, leaving you in utter silence.
Oh.
You didn’t know what to say…. or do. Quite frankly, you didn’t know how to process this. Jungkook hadn’t brought it up after it had happened, he had brought it up now, after you had almost forgotten all about it, about running into him in the café. You knew and understood why Jungkook hadn’t said anything then, but doing so now, was just so much worse, hurt so much more because the memories got dragged up to the surface all over again, the wounds ripping open once more.
“What,” you looked at your quivering hands, “what did you say?”
“I said you were okay.” Jungkook tried meeting your gaze, but you kept your head low, embarrassed and feeling so fucking awkward because this shouldn’t be a big deal—him asking if you were okay—but it was because he had asked, after everything that had happened if you were okay, he, of all fucking people. “Should I have said something-”
“No, no, no,” you interrupted, shaking your head. “Saying that was...”
You paused to look for the end of your sentence, for a word to fill in the blank, but just like Jungkook, you failed to find the end, somehow having forgotten how to speak in the last two seconds. 
“Who is he?”
It was a careful question, one Jungkook was incredibly hesitant to ask, one he almost didn’t ask, but he had to. He had to ask, at least try to get the answer, because the question had been plaguing him, repeating itself over and over again in his mind forever now, haunting and bothering him. He couldn’t take it anymore. The question demanded to be asked and who was he not to ask?
“I mean obviously you don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna share,” Jungkook added because even if the question had to be asked, it didn’t mean you had to provide him with an answer. “If you’re not comfortable with it, I totally get it. I’m not trying to pressure you into sharing something with me- I just wondered...”
You didn’t respond in any way, didn’t look at him or make a single sound. You were just silent. It was maddening. 
“I’m sorry,” Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, guilt blooming in his chest and wrapping around his heart. “I shouldn’t have brought-”
“Bathroom guy.”
He stilled. “... what?”
“Bathroom guy,” you repeated quietly, and Jungkook swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat, chest tightening.
“It’s this guy I met like a month or so ago,” you explained, almost tripping over your own words. It was laughable really, so much so you lowered your head to hide yourself, your voice weak, wobbly, shaky. “It was during this birthday party, I think. Jimin dragged me to, so I’m honestly not sure what exactly it was.” You let out something that sounded like a laugh. It was awkward. “I met him there, in the bathroom. We just… talked a bit. Bonded, I guess you could say.”
Your words seemed to take a while to sink in with Jungkook, his voice seemingly lost, and you scrunched up your nose, the silence that you were met with nagging on your heart, on your conscience.
“Is he, uh, the guy that Jimin mentioned-”
“Yup,” you interrupted quickly. “But he doesn’t know- well, actually, uh, none of my friends- don’t mention that we ran into him, yeah? Please?”
You were practically curling in on yourself, body slumping forward and folding in on itself like a weight had been dropped on you. You should straighten up, lift your head, but you couldn’t. Not with Jungkook’s eyes so clearly digging into your face, waiting for you to meet his gaze. You stared at the ground, finding comfort at looking down, the sunlight filtering through the leaves and leaving dainty shadows on the ground.
“Right, yeah.” You almost didn’t hear Jungkook speak, voice so low and quiet you thought he actually didn’t want you to hear his words. “Of course, I won’t mention it.”
You bit your tongue, heart feeling suffocatingly heavy in your chest.
“Thanks.”
The air grew cold around you, making you shiver. Autumn was really arriving.
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Half an hour later, you were sitting at the curb of your condo building, pumpkin in your lap and a heavy silence hanging between you.
It was your fault.
Jungkook didn’t have to say it for you to know. You had said something wrong. What, you didn’t know, but this silence was clearly and obviously to be blamed on you. And how much you hated it because the day had been great and fun up until that point. So fucking great and fun. 
“So-”
“Jimin mentioned the annual Halloween party your frat throws every year,” you blurted out, a smile on your lips. “Let’s go together.”
“Uh, what?” Jungkook shot back, frowning.
Yeah, uh, what? You had spoken without thinking, but you were committing now, too late to backtrack, guilt fuelling your words.
“You sure?”
You nodded, a bit too enthusiastically though, just like your smile. “Yeah, I-I’m sure. Let’s go together.”
“But... a lot of people attend,” Jungkook said, tilting his head to the side, clearly not thinking this was a great idea. “You sure you’re comfortable with that?”
“Yeah!” 
Your answer came out too fast, shot out of you practically. So rather than convince Jungkook of how sure you were, your reply did the opposite, suspicion growing in him. 
“Y/N,” you cringed, he had switched out his pet name for you with your actual name, “did you really think-”
“I mean that’s a good thing, right? That a lot of people attend?” you interrupted, shifting in your seat. “This way everyone will see that we’re an item.”
Jungkook was still not convinced, brows pinched together. “I guess, but-”
“Plus, what a bad girlfriend would I be if I didn’t attend with you? I mean the Halloween party is a huge thing, right? I can’t miss it, not as your girlfriend.”
He looked torn, mouth opening and closing several times. “Yeah, but I’m just saying, I don’t want you-”
“Jeon,” you placed your hand on his arm, “it’s fine. I know what I’m getting myself into.”
You didn’t. It was a lie, but again, you were committing, heart feeling so heavy in your chest.
Jungkook studied your face, mouth pressed into a line. Knowing his attempts to ask you again if you were sure, if you had really thought this through (the answer to both questions were a flat out no), would just end with you interrupting him, would be a waste of air, he relented.
“Okay. Sure, let’s go together.”
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497 notes · View notes
gdaychan · 9 months ago
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of all the people I had to get snowed in with, it had to be you?
pairing: seo changbin x reader 
genre & warnings: e2l, fluff, some swearing
wc: 5.2k 
notes: snowed-in trope paired with enemies to lovers, it doesn’t get any better. I had so much fun writing this at ungodly hours of the morning. lmk if you want to be in the taglist for the other works in this festive series!
festive series masterlist here 
Snow is already starting to fall thick and fast by the time you get off the train, and you cast a worried look skywards before tugging your hood up over your head as you walk out the station. Luckily, Hyunjin and Jisung’s apartment is only two blocks away, but even that short journey is enough to soak your shoes—which, in hindsight, you realise were a poor choice of footwear for the snowy forecast. 
You hurry up the steps and press the doorbell for the right apartment, waiting for the telltale buzz of the door unlocking to let yourself into the building. A rush of warmth greets you as you step inside. With a sigh of relief, you pull down your hood and begin unbuttoning your jacket as you hike up to the third floor. Your friends had managed to bag themselves a nice apartment in the city; it’s an up-and-coming neighbourhood with great bars, good transport connections into the city centre and it’s shockingly affordable. 
The only thing you can fault them with is their choice of roommate. And clearly, karma must be out for you, because he’s the one who opens the door. 
“Oh,” he says, deadpan. “It’s you.” 
“Changbin,” you greet curtly, edging past him into the apartment when he makes no move to let you through. 
You couldn’t exactly say when it had even started—all you knew was that you two had never managed to get along, despite the best efforts of your mutual friends. Everything you did seemed to bother him, and consequently, everything he did back would annoy the hell out of you. 
You peer into the rest of the apartment with growing disappointment. “Where are the others?” 
He shuts the door behind you and shrugs when you look at him, waiting for a response. “They went out a couple hours ago to pick up something from out of town. They were supposed to be back by now, that’s why I answered the door.”
You stare after him as he walks past you without a glance, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. Feeling affronted, you pull your arms out the sleeves of your coat and hang it haphazardly on a peg by the door. “What do you mean?” 
“I mean,” he says, turning to face you as he walks backwards into his bedroom, “That if I knew it was you at the door, I wouldn’t have opened it.” 
You gape after him. “That’s—” The door to his bedroom clicks shut, and with a well of frustration bubbling up inside you, you stomp your foot against the floor. “That’s not what I meant!” 
There is a pause where you’re left staring at the closed door, and then you hear him say, voice muffled, “Did you just stomp your foot? That’s adorable.” 
You almost cry out in exasperation—almost. Instead, you peel off the rest of your layers of winter clothes and flop down on the couch in the living room. A glance out the window tells you that whatever “light snowfall” had been predicted for this evening was sorely wrong. It was almost a white-out out there, so, worrying at your lip, you turn on the tv and flick through the channels until you find the news. 
Blizzard, road closures, trains breaking down—it’s like someone put a disaster movie on fast-forward, and each new announcement is worse than the last. The worst of all comes in the form of a phone call. Your phone buzzes wildly in your pocket, and you barely glance at Jisung’s name lighting up the screen before you’re pressing it to your ear. 
“Jisung! Where are you guys? Are you okay?” You ask immediately, eyes still glued on the tv as news reports depict rapidly growing levels of snow across the city. 
“Yeah, yeah, we’re fine,” comes the reply, and you slump with relief. Somewhere behind you, you hear the door to Changbin’s room opening and know he’s listening in. “You won’t believe it though. We got caught in the traffic on our way back into the city and it’s completely shut down.” 
“Can you still make it back?” 
“I dunno, radio says the roads won’t be cleared for at least a few hours,” Jisung says with a sigh. Hyunjin mutters something in the background that you can’t make out. “So we’re gonna be stuck here in the car for a little while. Are you gonna be okay at our place?” 
“I—” you start to say, then break off. Hours, possible more, stuck alone in the apartment with no one but Changbin? “Yeah, I’ll just get myself home, don’t worry about it.” 
“Y/n,” Jisung says slowly. “The trains have stopped, and they’ve issued a warning to stay at home. Just stay at ours until it gets better out there.” 
“And please don’t kill our roommate,” Hyunjin interjects loudly, “We like him. If you’re desperate, there’s a get-along shirt in the closet we made for you guys.” 
Jisung sniggers at the other end of the line like he and Hyunjin are sharing some private joke, and you groan out loud. Changbin’s door shuts again, and you sink further into the couch cushions. “I think he hates me,” you whisper conspiratorially into the phone. “He literally won’t stay in the same room as me.” 
“Y/n,” Hyunjin says, sounding exasperated, “We’re not getting into this now, we’ve spent nearly six months trying to figure out why you can’t get along and we still have no idea.” 
“Just pretend he isn’t there!” Jisung suggests cheerfully. “Or better, go to the second drawer in the closet in the hallway for your get-along shirt—hey!” You can hear the muffled sounds of them wrestling in the car, and a thunk as the phone is likely dropped from someone’s hand. 
Hyunjin must have emerged the winner, because it’s his voice that crackles out through the speaker on your phone. “Just don’t find anything to argue about for three to four hours until we get back and you should be golden. Okay?” 
“Okay,” you answer sullenly, pulling at a loose thread on your sweater. “If I die, tell my mom I love her. And if I get arrested for manslaughter for pushing Changbin out of a window, tell her it was for a good cause.” 
“God, you’re so dramatic! Just hang up and don’t commit any crimes.” 
The phone call ends very quickly after that, leaving you pouting at your phone. Suddenly, the apartment feels very lonely. You enjoy coming here so much that you’re at the apartment every other day, but without your best friends, it’s quiet—overwhelmingly so. 
You trudge off to Hyunjin’s room where you know he keeps an extra-fluffy blanket at the end of his bed and drag it into the living room. Wrapping yourself in it like a cocoon, you curl up in a corner of the couch and start flicking through the channels on the TV. 
Apparently good TV isn’t a broadcaster’s priority during a blizzard, and you’re too proud to ask Changbin for the Netflix password, so you grudgingly skip through channel after channel before settling on some old cartoon reruns. 
Not ten minutes in, your watching is interrupted by the pounding of a bass line coming from behind Changbin’s door. Frowning, you turn up the volume on the remote, and try to watch the show. Another few minutes go by, and then his music gets louder. 
You breathe slowly out your nose. “Rising above,” you whisper to yourself. “I am rising above.” 
Realising that Changbin is playing absolute filth over what must be some very expensive speakers, you snatch up the TV remote, rising above forgotten, and smash the volume up button until it’s bordering uncomfortably loud. 
Changbin’s door bangs open. You keep your gaze firmly on the screen as he stalks into the kitchen, the music pouring out of his room even louder now with the door open. You can only just hear him rummaging around over the blare of cartoons and explicit rap, and in spite of yourself—you can’t help but be curious as to what the hell he’s up to. 
You risk a glance in the direction of the kitchen, and find him staring straight back at you with an air of defiance as he fits the lid on the blender. Oh. He switches it on like a challenge, adding another layer of hell to the already headache-inducing cacophony. 
An angry flush crawls up your neck and cheeks. Pettiness is not a good look on anyone, but goddamn if you aren’t going to retaliate. Your blanket falls away as you stride into the kitchen. You grab a mug from a cupboard, and glare back at Changbin as you fill it with water at the sink. The blender is still going behind him, and he watches you with a small, puzzled crease between his brows as you put the mug of water in the microwave and turn it on. 
“Are you microwaving water?” He demands, raising his voice to be heard above the mess. 
“Yep.” You plaster on your best fake smile, turn on your heel, and head to the entrance. Fueled by frustration and an irrational anger that only serves to make you feel even more hot and irritated, you shove your feet back into their boots, hastily pull on your coat and tug your scarf in a quick loop around your neck. 
“Hey!” Changbin yells after you, having moved to stand at the end of the hallway. “What the hell are you doing?” 
“I’m going home,” you snap, fumbling with the chain for a second before yanking the door open. 
“How?” He calls out scornfully, “The trains aren’t running—what are you gonna do, walk back?” 
“Yes!” You slam the door shut behind you for good measure and storm down the stairs. Your rage-fuelled pride is quickly squashed by common sense as you push open the front door to the building and make it out onto the street. The snow is already nearly up to your knees, and you can barely see the end of the street, the snowfall is so heavy. You press your back up against the door, shielded from the worst of the wind here against the building, and consider your options. 
Hiding out in the basement until Jisung and Hyunjin come back is starting to look like the best option until the window on the third floor opens, and Changbin leans his whole upper body out over the ledge. 
“Y/n!” He yells, spotting you huddled against the building’s entrance. “You’re being ridiculous!” 
At that, you flip him off and stomp off into the snow. You hear him shouting your name again, but choose to ignore it, instead continuing to plough ahead, head bowed against the wind. It feels like ages goes by as you go on, pushing against the elements. You shield your eyes and look around to see what progress you’ve made, and realise that you’ve only made it a depressing fifty feet from the building. Worse yet, there is someone trudging towards you, following the impressions you’ve left in the snow. 
“Come back inside,” says Changbin when he reaches you, cheeks pink with cold and hair already tangled with fat snowflakes. “It’s freezing out here!” 
Your body seems to have seized up with the cold, and he must take your lack of response as hesitation because he shifts his weight from one foot to another, looking apprehensive. 
“I turned the music and everything off,” He adds, “So you win, yeah?” 
You honestly couldn’t care less at this point, but Changbin’s only got a hoodie on and is beginning to look desperate. You meet his eyes, blinking away the snowflakes that are determined to settle there. “It’s fucking cold,” you say through clenched teeth. 
“Yeah, it is,” Changbin says, barking out a laugh. He beckons you towards him, and your legs unfreeze, carrying you forward. Changbin leads you back to the building with a hand between your shoulder blades all the way up until you’re back in his little entrance hallway, dripping melting snow onto the carpets. 
Half-turned towards him, you peel away your scarf and let him hang it up for you. His hair is damp and curling, his clothes soaked in places and his skin is red and raw where it was exposed to the harsh, icy wind. 
“You look like shit,” you say, knowing perfectly well that you look a lot worse, if how you’re feeling is any indicator. 
He exhales sharply out his nose, and looks, for a moment, like he’s trying not to smile. “Yeah, well… you’re the human personification of a headache.” 
“Fair.” You toe out of your boots, and hang your jacket up beside your scarf.  
Behind you, Changbin clears his throat. “I’m gonna get some work done in the kitchen,” he informs you. “So just, make yourself comfortable I guess. And I don’t mind if you watch TV.” 
Your mouth twists to the side, and, feeling bold, you ask, “Can I have the Netflix password?” 
Changbin let’s out a little hum as he considers it. “I’ll think about it,” he settles on finally, turning to leave with a goading smile. 
“Dick,” you say, and pull a face. You end up in the kitchen after he disappears into his bedroom, and make yourself a cup of tea to take back over to the living room with you. After a few sips, it finally feels like your insides are starting to warm up again. 
Eventually Changbin emerges from his room wearing fresh, dry clothes and carrying his laptop and some notebooks. He sets up at the kitchen table with his back to you, and fits a pair of headphones over his ears. 
So much for the Netflix password. You pull out your phone and send Hyunjin a quick text asking for it—surely, he would never abandon his good friend in need. A minute or so goes by as you wait, fingers drumming against your phone case. It vibrates with an incoming text, and you hurry to check it. 
[20:03] hyunjinnie: ask Changbin ;) 
You roll your eyes and throw your phone down on the cushion next to you. “Typical,” you mutter. You glare at Changbin’s back for a moment just to feel better, then grab the first book within your reach on the coffee table for something to do. 
As it turns out, the book isn’t terrible. Knowing Jisung’s taste in novels, it most likely belongs to him, and you have definitely seen worse books in his scant collection. Judging by this one’s unbroken spine, it hadn’t even been opened yet. 
In fact, against all odds, you end up getting engrossed and forgetting all about Changbin for at least two or three chapters. Your bubble is disturbed, however, when you feel the cushions on the couch dip and the other end. 
You peer over the top of the pages when the crinkle of a candy wrapper peaks your interest. It turns out to be a bag of M&Ms. Changbin reaches into the bag and pops a few into his mouth before setting the bag down on the couch beside him. 
His headphones are still set over his ears, so you take it he isn't here for a social call, and he continues to scribble away in his notebook. You stare at the bag of M&Ms, stomach growling. Slowly, you reach across the couch, fingers prying into the bag. 
Changbin glances down and immediately smacks your wrist. “Mine,” he says, and moves the bag onto his lap. 
“Oh, come on,” you whine, falling back to your end of the sofa. “I’m hungry—did you come over here just to rub them in my face?” 
At that, he reaches into the bag and chucks one directly at you. It nails you in the middle of your forehead, and you let out an undignified squeak as you clap your hand over where it hit. 
You glower at him. “That actually hurt, you know,” you say, but don’t have time to complain for much longer before he’s reaching into the bag for another projectile. This time, you try to catch it in your mouth, but it hits your teeth and falls into your lap. 
Your tooth hurts like hell, but you pick up the chocolate where it fell in the folds of the blanket and pop it into your mouth. At the other end of the couch, Changbin snorts into his hand. Appalled, you stare at him with wide eyes—you’re not sure you’ve ever heard Changbin laugh, let alone be the one to make him laugh. But there’s no doubt that he’s currently sniggering behind his fist. 
His hand falls away from his face, mouth still twitching with amusement, and he reaches for another M&M. You recoil, holding up your hands in defense. 
“Hey, hey, hey,” you say quickly, “Don’t start throwing them again, it’s like being hit with tiny rocks!”
Changbin pulls his headphones down so they sit around his neck. “I won’t, just open up.” 
You narrow your eyes. “Are you trying to make me choke on it?” 
His mouth twitches again as he holds the M&M aloft. “Don’t give me ideas,” he says, “Just open your mouth.” 
After a silent stare down which Changbin unequivocally wins, you sit back and open your mouth. He tosses the first one and you flinch to the side. 
“Y/n.” He gives you an unimpressed look. “Really?”
“Alright, I’m sorry—try again,” you say, and resume your position. 
The first one bumps you on the chin, and the next one your nose, but the third lands squarely in your mouth and you let out a loud cheer, punching the air before you remember who you’re celebrating with. You quickly sober and sit back again, clearing your throat awkwardly. 
Changbin similarly schools his gleeful expression and fiddles with the bag a little longer before putting it down on the couch an equal distance between both of you. It feels like a weird, sugary peace offering, so you lean forward, pluck an M&M from the bag, and slip it between your lips. 
You look at Changbin to observe his reaction, catching him just in time to see his gaze skirt away from your mouth. Heat rises to your cheeks as your body betrays you utterly, and you hurry to bury your nose back into your book. 
Nothing between you is acknowledged for some time. Outside, it grows darker, and the flurry of snow doesn’t look like it’s letting up any time soon. You soon find yourself staring out the window and worrying at your lip, thinking of Jisung and Hyunjin trapped out on the roads. 
As if in response to your thoughts, Changbin’s phone begins to ring. You look over curiously as he answers. 
“Hey,” he says. “Any update?” 
You shift anxiously in your seat, watching his reaction. 
Changbin hums in response to something Jisung says, then his gaze flickers over to you as he rolls his eyes. “Y/n’s right here—yeah, we’re in the same room, so what?” 
Your phone buzzes with a text, and you glance down to see Hyunjin’s message. 
[21:20] hyunjinnie: YOU’RE IN THE SAME ROOM AND NO ONE’S DEAD???? 
You snort and unlock your phone to reply. 
[21:21] night’s not over yet, there have been some close calls 
[21:23] you gotta hurry back though 
[21:23] I think we’re starting to get along 🤢
[21:25] hyunjinnie: what sort of witchcraft is going on over there
“Alright, see you, stay safe,” you hear Changbin say, and look towards him. 
“Do they know when they’ll be back?” You ask hopefully. 
“Roads won’t be cleared until tomorrow morning now, apparently. Also,” he adds, his gaze sliding away, “It looks like the trains won’t be back in service until tomorrow either, so you’ll have to stay the night.” 
You look out towards the window, where thick snowflakes still hurtled past in a blur. “I mean,” you say, “I kind of figured that’s what would happen.” 
Changbin gathers his things up and heads to his room as you call your roommate to let her know where you were, and send a reassuring text to your mom, who had been tagging you in facebook weather reports for the city all evening. When you’re done, you notice that Changbin has left a folded towel for you on the kitchen table, along with a pair of sweatpants and a loose-fitting shirt, and you find yourself a little caught off guard by the thoughtfulness of it. 
You didn’t realise until you were under the stream of water how badly you needed a shower—the stress of the evening seemed to weigh on you all at once, and you must have stayed slumped under the hot water for a good amount of time just to try and feel alive again. 
Once dry and out of the shower, you slip into the clothes Changbin has lent you. They’re several sizes too big, but envelop you in a delightfully cosy kind of way. Feeling reckless, you lift the collar over your nose and breathe in. It smells of the fabric softener the boys use at their apartment, and something else that makes your stomach flutter. 
You decide to store this new piece of information away for later—or preferably never. Instead, you try to towel out your wet hair as much as possible before returning to the living room. When you step out of the bathroom, Changbin looks round from where he was putting down a pillow and blanket on the sofa. 
“They fit?” 
It takes you a minute to realise what he’s referring to. “Yeah—thanks,” you say after a moment, glancing down at your outfit. 
He nods, then lifts a hand to rub the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to stay in Jisung or Hyunjin’s room,” he says, gesturing to the bedding he brought you. “They both said they wouldn’t mind, so wherever you’re comfortable.” 
“No, here’s fine,” you say and smile gratefully as you approach the sofa. “To be honest, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight, anyway. I keep worrying about those two.” You’re aware of Changbin watching you, but you keep your gaze trained firmly away as you pick up the pillow, hugging it to your chest, and sit down on the sofa with your feet tucked under your legs. 
Changbin’s footsteps retreat, and you can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment. It’s quiet in the apartment—the snow has brought the whole city to a standstill, and it’s disconcertingly peaceful to hear no trains, or traffic, or airplanes flying overhead. It would’ve been nice to fall asleep to, if it didn’t feel so out of place. 
There’s a soft fwump as Changbin drops a heap of pillows and blankets onto the sofa beside you. 
“What’re you doing?” You ask, confusion growing as he organises the pillows against the backrest. 
“Deciding to give you the Netflix password.” 
Your lips twitch into a smile. “Oh, good. I was just about to ask Jisung to bully you into giving it up.” 
He gasps and holds a hand to his chest, feigning betrayal. “You were going to tattle on me?” 
“Mm,” you hum in response, and pull your knees up to give him room to sit next to you. “I know my rights here—they include unlimited Netflix access.” 
“I don’t know about unlimited,” Changbin mutters as he takes a seat and throws a blanket over both your legs. “I’m still choosing what we watch.” 
You scoff. “I’ll be putting that in my yelp review, you know. It’ll be really bad for business.”
“I’ll make you pay for my lost revenue.” 
You consider it as you tuck the blanket around yourself and scoot back against the pillows. “For Netflix rights, I’ll agree.” 
He nods and begins to scroll through the available films on the TV. “Good choice,” he says with a small smile. “So, what do you want to watch?” 
You look at him in surprise. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to pick?” 
“You’re not,” he says with a self-satisfied chuckle, and puts on How To Train Your Dragon. “I was being mean.” 
You settle in, eyes already fixed on the screen. “I’m not even mad. This is a great choice.” 
He shushes you as the film starts to play, slapping your hand away when you try to pinch his arm in retaliation. The smile on your face is nearly impossible to stifle, fed as it is by the flutter of warm gratitude in your chest. You manage to watch the whole thing from start to finish without interruption, and when it finishes, Changbin wordlessly starts playing the sequel. It must be nearly midnight, but you don’t feel tired. Instead, you tuck your legs in more comfortably, making sure not to brush against Changbin in the process. 
Near the end of the second movie, you’re startled to hear a sniffle coming from Changbin’s direction. You risk a sideways glance, and notice that his eyes are a little shinier than usual. Your mouth twists to the side as you try to hide the fact that you saw, but it’s in vain. 
Changbin quickly takes note of your covert glances and glares at you, arms crossed. “Shut up,” he says. 
“I didn’t say anything.” 
“He’s his best friend.” 
“I know.” 
“He understands him better than anyone.” 
This time, you reach out to pat his shoulder. “I know.” There’s a smile on your face for the remainder of the film, no matter how many times you try to suppress it. Soon, it’s time for the next film. You already know that the third one is even more of an emotional roller coaster than the second, but it seemed only right that you binge all three at once. 
At some point during the final viewing of the night, probably between the hours of two and three in the morning, you notice that your knee is touching Changbin’s thigh. Instead of moving away, you wait with baited breath to see if he reacts. When nothing happens, you slowly relax, and bring your attention back to the screen. A few minutes later, the hand on Changbin’s leg moves ever so slightly, shifting to the side so his fingertips just brush the side of your knee. 
It feels like it could be an accident, but you see him swallow out the corner of your eye, and suddenly you aren’t so sure. It’s in the back of your mind until the final scenes of the film, which are so gut-wrenching and heart-warming at the same time, it takes you until at least a few minutes into the credits to feel emotionally stable again. 
Neither of you speak for some time, and eventually Changbin turns the volume down until the music is just a low backdrop in the apartment. He’s breathing softly beside you, leg warm where it presses against yours under the blankets. 
Finally, in the quiet space between you, you turn to him and ask, “Do you really hate me?” 
Changbin sighs. “Of course I don’t hate you,” he says, eyes still trained on the credits rolling down the screen. “Sometimes it’s just easier like this, you know?” 
You snort incredulously. “This has been easy?” 
He grins then, finally turning to look at you. “Are you kidding? I’ve never met anyone who made not caring this fucking difficult.” 
“I’m flattered,” you say, smiling. And in a quiet voice, you add, “And I don’t hate you either, you know.” 
Changbin shifts until he’s facing you completely, arm over the back of the couch and his head propped against his hand. There is a slow, teasing smile playing on his lips. “Is that so?” 
“Mhm,” you nod, turning to mirror his position. “Not even a little bit, apparently.” 
“Well, that’s good,” he says, and lifts one hand to curl it around the back of your neck. “That makes this part much easier.” 
He leans into your space until you’re close enough to count his eyelashes, then tilts your head ever so slightly to press his mouth against yours. It catches you up instantly, his sharp inhale as you kiss him back, followed by the almost hungry way the way his lips snatch as many kisses as they can between your breaths. Warmth floods down your chest and curls at the tips of your toes as Changbin pulls you closer until he’s got you flush against his chest, his arms tight around your middle as he kisses you deeply. 
He pulls away just as you’re beginning to feel dizzy with the force of it, and you suck in a grateful breath, closing your eyes as you rest your forehead against his. Changbin bumps your nose with his after a moment, and steals another fleeting kiss. 
“I wish it had snowed like this in August,” he says, making you laugh. He holds you close as he shifts to sit back against the cushions so that you’re straddling his waist, arms looped around his neck. 
“Don’t tell Hyunjin and Jisung, but I think their get-along shirt would’ve had the same outcome.”
He hums, nosing along your cheek to press a kiss against the skin where your jaw meets your ear. “Probably would’ve been more efficient, too,” he says against your neck. “Do you have any idea how difficult you are?”
You smack him on the arm and he gasps, choking back a laugh. “Changbin,” you say, looking at him sternly, “I am always going to make things difficult for you.” 
His face breaks into a wide smile as he lifts his hands to cup your face in his palms, thumbs just brushing the delicate skin under your eyes. “I would never have it any other way,” he says earnestly, before closing the space between you to press his lips against yours once more. 
Hours later, it slowly dawns on you that you must have fallen asleep at some point in the early hours of the morning. You’re in a cocoon of warmth, your body pillowed on Changbin’s and held tightly in the circle of his arms, last night’s blanket draped over you both. You grin into the material of Changbin’s hoodie as his soft snores stir your hair, but the list of ways to wake him up forming in your mind are quickly abandoned as your attention is caught by the noises coming from the apartment entrance. 
Murmured voices, shoes being kicked off—the meaning of it doesn’t compute fast enough in your still semi-conscious brain before Jisung rounds the corner and nearly falls over in shock, emitting a small shriek. You try to push yourself up on your elbows, but Changbin’s arms only tighten around you in response. 
“I fucking knew it,” Hyunjin cackles as he appears behind Jisung. 
“Um,” you try lamely, “It’s not what it looks like?” 
“It’s exactly what it looks like,” Changbin grumbles beneath you, his voice thick with sleep. “Piss off, both of you.” 
Jisung recovers quickly at this, retorting with, “that’s no way to welcome us home after our ordeal. I thought we’d be coming home to horrific murder or maybe an apartment fire, not—not canoodling,” he splutters. 
Changbin ignores him, and responds by rolling you over so you’re tucked snugly between the cushions lining the back of the couch and the line of his body, hiding you from view as he presses a sleepy kiss against the top of your head. 
“Ugh, it’s getting worse,” Hyunjin mutters as he follows Jisung into the kitchen, who pretends to vomit into the sink. “What the—who put water in the microwave?” 
You meet Changbin’s eyes, biting your lip to hold back your smile as his chest shakes against you with quiet laughter. “Long story,” you murmur, so that only he can hear. 
taglist:
@kodzu-ken​ 
331 notes · View notes
authorjoydragon · 20 days ago
Joy! 💛
Congrats on hitting 300 followers! Can I request 89 for Sokkla?
Thank youuu!
You absolutely can dear nanu! I haven’t gotten many sokkla asks this round.
This got long but no ragrets.
89- "We can look out for each other." Sokkla
Azula groaned, smacking her fist on the cave wall. “How on earth did I get stuck here with you of all people?”
Sokka rolled his eyes and took in their surroundings. “The sentiment is mutual, Princess Prissy Pants. Now enough complaining, we need a plan.”
She grumbled, but he was right. She definitely didn’t want to die out here in this tundra, and unfortunately he would know better than her how to survive in this climate.
“Fine, just this once we can look out for each other. But then we go back to hating each other’s guts. Deal?”
The young man sighed, “Deal. Now do your jerk bending so we can try to scavenge some things.”
The two may have gotten on each other’s nerves, and Sokka especially loved to remind her of her past misdeeds at every opportunity. But even so, they worked well together. They were both incredibly clever and resourceful.
Soon enough they had a semblance of a camp set up in the cave, and had found food for tonight (cave mushrooms and a couple cave mouse-bats that he was able to catch). Hopefully once the blizzard passed they could try to get out in the morning.
Sokka shivered as he held his hands out to the fire. They only had limited things to burn to keep it going, and he was worried about when it would run out. He wasn’t a bender that could regulate his temperature, after all.
Azula barked at him, “Stop your teeth chattering. It’s annoying.”
“Awe, you noticed,” he teased.
She grit her teeth in annoyance, but she was concerned. His whole body was shivering. Azula may not like the cold, but it wouldn’t kill her. Sokka however could freeze to death before they got out.
Stupid boomerang boy.
Azula said nothing as she sat down next to him, deliberately raising her body’s temperature.
Sokka blinked at her. “Are you…?”
“Shut up.”
He grinned. “You’re being nice to me.”
“I said shut up!” she snapped.
Teasing aside, he was grateful. The warmth coming off of her was a saving grace. He tried to nonchalantly scoot closer to her.
She sighed, and stated bluntly, “I’ll never hear the end of it if I let you die out here. I suppose you should… get closer to me.”
Sokka raised his eyebrows. How close?
When he didn’t move, Azula huffed and began crawling into his lap.
“W-what are y-you—!?”
Azula hissed, “Do you want to die? Then shut up and cuddle!”
Sokka felt his cheeks burn as her smaller body settled on top of his. She pulled his arms around her and it seemed like every inch of their bodies were flush with each other.
He spotted red on her cheeks as well. This was… this was very intimate.
“If you get a boner I’ll kill you myself.” She threatened, turning slightly to glare at him.
Sokka scoffed, “Why would I get a boner, huh? Not because of you!”
She narrowed her eyes at him but simply harrumphed and flicked her hair in his face. It smelled like cloves and honey and he had to resist the urge to lean forward and take a big whiff of it.
Geesh, what was he thinking? This was strictly to get warmth. So he wouldn’t freeze to death.
And she was warm. Very warm.
His arms felt heavy like lead, like the cold had seeped into his bones and turned to ice. It was making him sleepy, and that probably wasn’t a good sign, but with Azula’s warmth starting to permeate into his clothes and skin, he’d be fine.
And with that thought, he gently rested his chin on her shoulder and closed his eyes. The smell of honey and cloves lulled him to sleep.
~~~
He woke with a start at the sound of something akin to an avalanche. Sunlight poured into the dark cave, making him flinch.
The rude awakening got worse as he realized that Azula was clutched to his chest with his arms around her waist. Her eyes widened as they met his— their faces were so close— and then she was pushing him away with a loud gasp.
The avalanche was his sister water bending the snow and ice away from the cave entrance. Katara walked into the mouth of the cave, standing over them, and raised an eyebrow at him. “Well I certainly wasn’t expecting this when I finally found you guys.”
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thebangtantale · 3 months ago
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The Truce - Masterlist
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✿ Pairing: jungkook x reader
✿ Genre: Enemies To Lovers!AU - Fake Dating!AU
✿ Summary: Jungkook is the very last person you want to spend your precious time with. But what happens when the universe keeps putting him in your way ? As if being you partner for a semester project wasn’t enough, he also need you to be his stupid fake girlfriend.
✿ Rating: NSFW
✿ Status: In progress
✿ Word count: 15.4k (so far)
✿ Masterlist ✿
part one
part two
part three
part four
part five
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ssscentral · 7 months ago
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serotonin | for ara
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Summary: He loves to rile you up - and you let him every time.
Pairing : Jungkook x female reader
Genre : Fluff, Romance, e2l (but not really), Established Relationship
Warnings : Kissing - nothing else
WC : 1.5k
Member : Lillia & Rid || @moccahobi​ & @taegularities​
A/N : HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR MAKNAE @heejinnien!!!!!! I hope your birthday is an amazing one! Some of us (@tae-cup, @hoebii, @jinings, @voiceswithoutlips, @biaswreckme, and @xiaokoo) have created a few collaborative pieces for your birthday! So take some time to celebrate and relax with our fun (and most def not quickly put together) fics! We love you so much and are so glad to be friends with you! May this birthday be an amazing one!!!! 💜💜 - Lillia
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Jungkook was the epitome of hard work. If there was anyone you would’ve named as annoyingly competitive at your school, it would’ve been him - sarcastic, fierce, smart, always trying to up you whenever he could.
The science lab that you both shared was always an intense business, and the class knew how the whole lab would be punctuated by the teacher deciding which of you was more correct as soon as you and Jungkook entered the room. The semester had started one month and a half ago, but the whole team of teachers had taken note of the mess that the pair of you were. From trying to out correct each other to vying for the TA’s praise, the competition between the two of you was something that made everyone gawk and laugh at. This lab was no different.
It was a simple class to help you start familiarizing yourself with tardigrades before you did experiments on them later. You were simply tasked with drawing them and documenting the development of their eggs, but you didn’t think even such a thing could turn into a full-on war between Jungkook and you.
“So, if you look closely, some of you might have pregnant tardigrades under their microscope. The person who spots them and manages to document everything correctly, will get some chocolate from me the next time,” your teacher encouraged you, always the nicest sweetheart of your college.
Curse Jungkook’s superior art skills because even though both of you had pregnant tardigrades, it was like comparing a toddler’s hard work to something that belonged in MOMA.
“Teacher…” Jungkook shot you a knowing look after interrupting more of the teacher’s praise of his diagram.
“Yes, Mister Jungkook?”
“Well, you see… I know you expressed a want to hang up the diagram… but I honestly don’t feel like it’s the best I can do. Especially since Y/N knocked my elbow a few times and even scribbled something on my paper. I mean, I tried to make the scribbles look like part of the diagram… but I know I could do better. Could I try to redo it for extra credit?”
“Miss Y/L/N. Did you really try to ruin his work?” 
You floundered some and glared at the lying Jungkook, “N-no! I mean I did bump into him, but when our chairs are so close together, it is bound to happen! It wasn’t to try to sabotage him.” 
The teacher’s eyes narrowed before she nodded at Jungkook and continued on with the lesson, her better nature taking what you said as truth… as it was! That “bumping” was simple brushing him… that you might have intended, but still! Not maliciously! When the teacher’s back was turned to you and Jungkook, you sent him a glare, to which he smirked back before focusing on the teacher again who was pointing out more details about the tardigrades that needed to be added to diagram labels. 
And although the lesson was still not over - technically - she spoke up as soon as you and Jungkook handed in your work. “Perfect! As promised, Mister Jeon and Miss Y/L/N may leave earlier - you worked hard today again!” your professor announced, clapping her hands and spurring on the rest of the class to do the same - you could clearly see how annoyed and unmotivated your classmates were, and it made you chuckle.
Grinning back at Jungkook, you put the strap of your bag around your shoulder, knowing that he’d follow you very soon. He always did. The corridor was empty, the classes still going on as you heard his faint footsteps behind you. You rolled your eyes - no matter how many times you beat him in class (even if today, you only beat him by answering more stuff correctly), he’d always stay right next to you.
You walked in silence for quite some while until you stepped out into the pleasantly warming sun, the fresh wind grazing your skin and playing with your hair softly. There was a park you’d always go to, one that belonged to the campus, but mostly stood empty despite the large number of students at your school. Most of the students spent their days flitting between classes and fulfilling last minute assignments and they barely had time to look or go to the park that was ever so slightly out of the way from the other, less cool, outdoor spaces your college offered. 
Considering the fact that beautiful flowers and plants bloomed on the grounds of the small park, you felt like the students who never cared to visit were stupid and oblivious to the park’s amazingness. It was a perfect place to study, relax or spend time with friends, and now that you were released from your last class of the day, you didn’t yet feel the urge to go back to your dorm room yet. You approached a bench, your bench, directly next to the swing set.
As you almost reached it, still aware of how close your rival was, Jungkook suddenly grabbed your wrist to pull you close to him, his face just inches away. Trapping you in his arms, his eyes wandered to your lips.
“Aren’t you tired of following me around all the time?” you asked with a bratty smile, throwing back your hair as you awaited his answer.
“How could I ever?” And without a warning, he pressed his lips against yours before you could even give him your devilish smirk that he loved so much.
That was bound to happen, you knew it, and you relished in the intense feeling his careful touch gave you. He kissed you gently and with so much unsaid emotion that you tried to match, enjoying the soft touches of his hands against your body and the feel of his firm body under your hands. All of this, you both and your secret relationship, had started not long ago. Always the bantering couple that the school loved so much and you had long been selected as the ultimate OTP - something that meant one true pairing nowadays, many students asking if the class rivalry had ever become more.
As he kissed you, mouth moving against yours tenderly, softly, affectionately, the excitement in your body increased, wanting nothing more than to stay here in the empty park with him forever, pressed against his chest. In his arms with your lips locked together, nothing else seemed to matter. Not his insane art skills or who outperformed the other in class or grades. It was just the tender kisses and touches of him.
When he let go, stroking your cheek with his fingertips gently, he smiled endearingly. “Seeing you all riled up and motivated to beat me is so hot.”
You furrowed your eyebrows as you pushed him away slightly, but his hands on your waist stayed stubbornly, firmly holding you in his grip as he laughed at your expression. “Good that you think that. I just can’t believe how much fun you have annoying the hell out of me in front of our teachers.”
“You’re the cutest when riled up,” Jungkook said with a smirk.
“And I can’t believe you said that I scribbled on your diagram today! We are stooping to lies now?”
Jungkook laughed lightly, one of his hands traveling down your arm to hold your hand. “Well… You got all pink when I brought up the bumps. I enjoyed watching you flush. You’re just so cute, Y/N.” He pinched your cheek as he said the last words.
What? You blinked slowly, a robotic laughing coming out of you. “Jungkook. I love you… but don’t do that again.”
“What? Can you repeat? I didn’t hear?” Jungkook’s ears were pink as he looked at you hopefully, his eyes glistening and shining as he spoke.
“Don’t do it again.” 
“Nooo! What was the first part? I wanna hear it again.” He whined and squeezed your hand tightly while bringing it up to his chest. 
Mimicking a deep thought process, you pursed your lips and scrunched your brows together. “No. You’ve not been a good boy.”
Jungkook’s eyes widened in shock as his lips parted wordlessly, his hand going slack in yours. Laughing excitedly, you quickly removed yourself from Jungkook, set your bag down, and started off away from him.
“You might have to catch me to get me to say anything more!” you shouted when you were only a meter or so away, quickly catching Jungkook’s attention once again.
Even from how far away you were, you saw the tell tale competitiveness flow into him as he raced off after you. A squeal left you when he came closer and you quickened your pace, but it was no use. Jungkook was so much faster and stronger than you and before you knew it, he had swooped you up in his arms and spun you around.
“Tell me, you love meeee!” Jungkook whined childly as he set you down, pouting at you as he started to pepper your face and neck with soft kisses.
His kisses tickled you, and he enjoyed that every single time. “I-I lo-love yo-you!” you managed to squeal out before once again, he was kissing your lips.
“Good, because I love you too.” 
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eternally-writing · 6 months ago
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chain reaction | jjk
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genre: fluff and angst
rating: PG
pairing: Jungkook x reader
theme: college!au , enemies to lovers, series
word count: 1.3k
warnings: light swearing
synopsis: A semester with your mortal enemy, Jeon Jungkook, as your lab partner was bound to be an experience to remember.
banner by me!
A/N: hey everyone! This is my first series that I’m writing and I’m so excited to share it with all of you! If you want to be tagged in future parts, reblog and mention that you want to be tagged in the caption, or you can send me an ask!
--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--
“You’re late”
Swinging your backpack onto the lab bench beside you, you glare at your lab partner.
“Shut up Jeon, it’s only 8:04am and our TA hasn’t even finished introducing the lab yet”.
Introduction to Organic Chemistry was all set up to be your favorite class. You were a chemistry genius in high school, your professor had amazing “rate my professor” reviews, and the class fit perfectly into your schedule, finishing right at 2:00pm so you could walk back to your dorm under the radiance of the afternoon sun.
It was all going well until you walked into your 8:00AM lab and found that due to budget cuts, all labs would now be done in pairs. And you had been paired with none other than the bane of your existence, Jeon Jungkook. As if doing an amide reduction wasn’t hard enough on its own, you had to do it alongside the biggest thorn in your side.
You couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly what it was about him that irked you so much. Maybe it was the way the girls tried to flirt with his constantly over the open flame of a Bunsen burner, or the way that he sucks up to your extremely old TA in order to get full marks on his procedural skills, or maybe it’s the fact that he somehow managed to look effortlessly put together at 8am on a Tuesday morning, while you looked (and felt) like absolute crap.
Either way, you were counting down the seconds until this semester would be over and you wouldn’t have to look at Jeon Jungkook again, but time seemed to be moving extra slow today.
“Late and spacing out today? Wow, lucky me to have you as a lab partner.”
Scoffing at him, you adjusted your protective glasses and readied your labware for today.
“180 minutes until I’m free. That’s it,” you thought to yourself.
“Technically it’s 170 minutes now, but if we don’t get started someone soon so we can hand in our product by 11am, we’re going to be here for a lot longer than that.”, snapped Jungkook next to you, already starting to mix chemicals together in a beaker.
Well, looks like your habit of accidentally saying things out loud gets worse when you’re tired.
“Let’s just try and get through this lab today without stepping on each other’s toes Jeon, okay?” you said, trying to catch up to Jungkook in the lab.
There was one part of chemistry labs you disliked the most. The waiting time. In some labs it was only 30 minutes, while in other labs it had taken almost an hour, but the constant in all of the situations was that waiting made it feel like time was passing at an infinitely slower rate. Taking out your laptop would violate lab safety protocol, and you couldn’t do any further steps in your lab until your reaction in your solution was done progressing under the fume hood. Since there were no other options, the only other thing left to do in moments like this was talk to Jeon Jungkook.
“So I was -”
“What did you -”
Yikes, add the awkwardness of starting conversation with Jeon Jungkook to the reasons you never talk to him.  You decided to pause and let him carry on with whatever he was saying, giving him a semi-pleasant smile to hopefully help distract from the embarrassment you were feeling.
“I was going to ask what you wanted to do our lab presentation on,” said Jungkook.
Your eyes widened at his statement. Looking at the whiteboard situated at the side of the room, you saw that in the 4 minutes you were late to your lab you may not have missed your TA explaining the procedure, but you did the big words on the board that said:
“FINAL LAB PRESENTATION: 3 weeks from now, worth 20% of your grade, done with your lab. 5-10 page paper and 10-15 minute oral presentation”.
Unable to contain your discontentment with the situation, you let out a groan and leaned back in your chair in frustration, almost falling off your lab stool in the process.
“Well aren’t you just little Miss Sunshine today? I’m not thrilled about this either, but I’d rather pull out my eyelashes than have to repeat this course again next semester,” scoffed Jungkook.
No morning ice coffee + Jeon Jungkook being annoying + a looming group project was more enough to make your head hurt.
“Can we just talk about this later Jeon? My brain can’t process this right now,” you pleaded as you put your head in your hands.
Leaning closer to you, Jungkook spoke at a whisper-level near your ear so nobody else would hear.
“Is your brain too busy processing my charm, sunshine? Don’t worry, I’ll try and tone down the charisma for you,” he joked with a smirk.
Your head went from being in your hands to plopping flat onto your (no longer sterile) lab counter at Jungkook’s comment.
First of all, ew. You don’t know how Jungkook was possibly picking up girls by talking like that. Second of all, charm and charisma were probably two words that you would NEVER associate with Jungkook, so his statement was definitely wrong.
A project with Jungkook meant that you would be spending a LOT more time with him, and the prospect of that happening made you wince internally. Group projects meant libraries, evenings, and , ugh, probably weekends with Jeon Jungkook.
You were snapped out of your internal despair by the sound of Jungkook’s voice.
“Hand me your phone.”
You froze. “Hm?”
“Well I don’t know what you think of me Y/N, but unless you think I can read your mind we’re  going to need to text to figure out when to meet.”
Giving in, you quickly tossed your phone into his open palm while grabbing his phone which was sitting on top of his backpack.
Glancing over his shoulder, you took a peek at your contact name.
“little miss sunshine? really Jeon?”
“Of course sunshine, i had to pick a name that encapsulated your positive and radiant energy,” he retorted, sarcasm practically dripping off of his words.
You definitely were picking your battles today, and one over a silly contact name didn’t seem to be worth it.
“You can do whatever, Jeon, but you’re sticking in my phone as “Jeon Boy” and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“We’ll see about that Y/N,” remarked Jungkook as he opened up his lab manual to read the next steps in the procedure.
Your mom had always taught you that the word “hate” was a very strong word and was only to be used in extreme situations. To this day, there were only 3 people in your life that you truly hated in every sense of the word: your ex-boyfriend, Jimin, your ENGL 101 Professor, Dr.Lee, and your neighbor’s cat, Mr. Whiskers, who chewed up your grade 8 science project the day before it was due.
You wouldn’t say that you hate Jungkook, but you were definitely getting close.
“Yknow, I don’t like you Jeon. Actually, scratch that, I really don’t like you.”
Glancing over at the timer on your lab bench finally reaching 0:00, Jungkook began walking over to the fume hood. Turning back to you, he smirked and started to speak.
“Well, the feeling’s mutual sunshine.”
Boy, this was definitely going to be a long semester.
--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--
If you want to be tagged in future parts, reblog and mention that you want to be tagged in the caption (or you can send me an ask)!
If you liked what you read, please write/follow! Thank you for reading♡
- Emily
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