#relapse tw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cyan-6-ide · 8 months

Text

simon saying he wants to be become ice king again is so in character it’s agonising. he wore the crown again and again to begin with so he could save a girl, even if it meant the horror of losing himself and driving away every last person he cared about. he spent over a thousand years in that state, practically lost and replaced. almost nobody knew who he used to be, not even him. the new world wasn’t jarring, because this was how it had always been for ice king, for a thousand years, for the forever that he could process. he had his place in the system and he wasn’t *happy*, but he slid into the chaos of ooo as his state of mind deteriorated.

then he’s cognisant again. but the love of his life is dead. and it truly sinks in that even though he is back, the ice king would never give back the time he took from him. the world he knew slipped away while he forgot it, and he’s left as an outsider who can’t even find solace in his own species, one that moved on without him. he has to sit with everything ice king did. everything that took from him. every way that hurt others. every moment of sickening confusion and loss and pain. and those who could never feel the gravity tell him again and again that he was so much cooler and fun back then! that he’s just some lame old guy now, such a downer! always on about some girl, or staring off sadly! who would want to mope with him at a bar rather than party with the ice king, right?

marcaline doesn’t even rely on him anymore. grown and independent now. grown when he wasn’t there to see it. it’s not like anybody else needs him either, and what does he have to give now, anyway? he tries and tries to bring his girlfriend back and every time he’s smacked in the face. he’s so tired. he’s so, so tired. he wouldn’t half mind being the ice king again, because even with the pain of that, at least he wouldn’t be capable of thinking about these things anymore. he would have powers that could help people again. he would be fun and charismatic and free from being cognisant. even better than dying, he could make people happy this way too. two birds with one stone, in his eyes. at least the ice king has a reason to be alive.

it becomes a third bird when fionna *needs* this. it’s not the only plausible solution, but it’s a damn clean one. her problems will be fixed, fixed with the crown the way that simon used to fix every problem all those years ago. the most reliable shortcut. he’ll be free from life, and the world will get their *beloved* ice king back. the events of 1000 years ago can repeat, but this time he’ll never seek a cure.

of course this is a flawed view, and i can’t remotely see this being the endgame for his arc, and it could *never* be portrayed as the right course of action. falling into that old pattern and life would be a monumental act of self harm in an attempt to escape himself, and it would leave marcaline in pieces to see him relapse and lose himself all over again in that last ditch effort. it’s genuinely a simultaneous act of relapse and suicide, and though it’s so clear why he’s reached this point, i do NOT believe this series will end with him re-becoming the ice king. and if it does, it will be a horrifying event, not a happy culmination of his character arc.

#suicide tw #relapse tw #i’m probably missing something because it’s 3am #(around the time i write all my character analysis)#but fuck it man #i’ve got simon petrikov on the brain #my favourite part about tv-14 fionna and cake isn’t the swearing or blood #(even if it’s a fun bonus)#it’s the fact that they’re going head first into tackling such heavy themes #and they are going to TOWN with it #fionna and cake #adventure time #fionna and cake spoilers #also this is all just My Interpretation #again it’s 3am so if anything’s off the mark then sue me ig <3

227 notes · View notes

uncanny-tranny · 1 year

Text

We need to stop stigmatized relapses in recovery. We need to stop shaming those who have or are currently relapsed. It is a normal part of recovery to go back to the behaviour at times, and I'm sick of the idea that "relapse means you aren't recovering."

Relapsing can reinforce somebody's will to recovery. Relapsing can teach a person what they want from recovery. It can be a vital tool, and honestly, shaming somebody who is already down is fucking cruel and disgusting. The last thing they need is other people shaming them and being cruel - they might already be beating themself up over a relapse. Be kind to them. They are a person, they are worthy of kindness.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #recovery #relapse #relapse tw #this goes for any type of relapse because they often can look and behave similarly #the behaviour may look different but the consequences and whatnot can look very similar #to all those recovering or relapsing: i want you to know you are worthy #you are worthy of recovery no matter how many times you have or will relapse #relapse is normal #relapse is morally neutral at worst #relapse doesn't mean you're bad

402 notes · View notes

cynicaltirade · 8 months

Note

pretty please more ted plushophilia but inside it. your writing is so good. love love love. -🍒

:33 < For you 🍒 anon, as my first anon, anything! Words can not ever express the amount of joy writing Ted brings me. Fair warning - this one is dark in tone but not in actual subject matter, but there are trigger warnings so please check those out. To skip anything included in the TW, please skip to paragraph 13!

:33 < I think it shows that I'm more use to writing SFW slow burns rather then smut lmfaooo. Anyways, I tried my best and that's all that matters!!!

How to sleep 202 (Plushophiliac Ted Nivison ep 2)

:33 < Part 1 - not a mandatory read to understand, but if you want full context, check it out!

NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI

TW: Addiction themes, relapse themes, and a slight paranoia mention. There is no actual addiction or relapse, but it can be read that way. None are romanticized or glorified, but the author straight up just doesn't know how to write someone feeling guilty over doing something they said they wouldn't do again without it sounding like an addiction/relapse.

Contains: Plushophilia (attraction to plushies), corruption themes, the usage of "violating" but only once, shame, gooning themes, lots of shameful feelings, probably inaccurate feelings of polyester but author doesn't care

Word count: 1,450 exact!

Once again, this is the "muse" of this work!!!

It had been a couple weeks since the initial "incident". Ted wasn't exactly proud of himself for stooping so low as to fuck a stuffed animal, but the memory of how amazing it felt still haunted him. He had done some research on the topic now though, turns out it's actually a decently common paraphilia. Still, He didn't want to go down that rabbit hole. There was too much shame and, further more, what would he even do if someone somehow found out?

Maybe though, maybe it would be ok if Ted just watched plushophilia porn. It didn't feel nearly as violating to watch other people fuck stuffed animals then to do it himself. Despite living alone, he decided to lock his bedroom door and close his blinds. Maybe he was just being paranoid, but then again you could never be too safe when hiding disgraceful porn habits.

Feeling as though his privacy was secure, Ted sat down at his computer and got onto the plushophilia subreddit. It only took him a few minutes of scrolling before he was rooting around in his black pajama shorts for his dick. There were just so many utterly fascinating ways people expanded on the base desire to fuck their plushies. Some folk would cut holes in the bottoms and occasionally mouths of their plushies. Other people would even going as far as to put flesh lights in the hole, or put a strap on their plush. Both seemed so trivially easy to accomplish and like they could feel simply divine...

Still though, his ego and pride couldn't afford to fuck a plush again. No matter how nice the mental image of the plush's fur getting slicked down with precum, or how amazing it would feel to fuck into the plush like his life depended on it. No, Ted needed to just settle to porn. Although, nothing was stopping him from having "Mr Buns", as he had so affectionately named his stuffed rabbit you had given him, from watching. Just watching though. He shouldn't... no he couldn't do anything to Mr Buns, the guilt would be too immense.

Thank god the bookshelf where Ted kept Mr. Buns was just a short reach away from his computer desk, he really wasn't in the mood to get up and walk with a semihard on that he was nursing into a full erection. He went through video after video of people griding on their plushies, each one strengthening his longing to feel the soft silky fur of Mr buns again. He really shouldn't... he... hm... maybe just rutting against the plush wouldn't be too terrible, but he wouldn't make a hole.

With a deep sigh, Ted pulled the stuffed rabbit into his lap and awkwardly positioned it just over his crotch. He felt disgusted that his cock was already springing to life more so then it had when he had started. Regardless, he pushed past the feeling of shame and pulled his pants down fully. He lined his cock up with the space between the rabbit's thighs and began pushing between the once again soft fluffy fur. Thank god he had cleaned it after his last "one night stand" with it, this would feel horrible otherwise.

There it was again, that immediate jolt of pleasure shooting up his spine as soon as the fur brushed along his cock and down his stomach. Yeah, this is ok. It's ok to rub you cock against a stuffed toy that a close friend gave to you. The thought made him blush, knowing you would be utterly disgusted with him if you caught him doing this. He could ignore that for now though. One last time jerking himself off with Mr Buns, that's it. That's all he'd allow himself.

Oh, but the feeling of the fur enveloping him felt oh so nice. He rutted into the plush again, continuously fucking just the head of his cock between it's thighs since that felt the most stimulating. It didn't take long before that comforting fuzzy fog he felt last time was returning to his mind. It made the shame of the whole situation so oddly hot once again, and he sure as fuck wasn't complaining. It was so easy to slide his dick between the thighs of the stuffed rabbit over and over. It was so easy to let the weirdness of his interest go and just enjoy the feelings. It was so addicting to let his dick do all the thinking while his mind floated back into that hypnotizingly pleasant pool of pleasure. He could just turn his mind off, grind into the plush, and not even worry about how embarrassing his whines of bliss were.

There was something so sweetly overwhelming about watching others fuck their plushies while he fucked his. Still though, it made him wish for more. It felt so tantalizing to reach down between the stuffed rabbit's legs and rub along the seam. Knowing there was something so soft and untouched just inside... but he really shouldn't. Ted shouldn't ruin a gift from his friend like that. Although... if he kept Mr buns under his bed, no one would see it and therefore no one could judge him!

Yeah, yeah that's right! He was just cock drunk and wanted a hole to fuck. It wasn't because it was a stuffed animal that he was fucking that he was getting off to, no it was just a sex toy hole to fuck that's it. That's it, that's all. This is ok. He reached down and opened the drawer of his desk and rooted around for his scissors. Ted hesitated for a moment though as he was about to snip a hole between the legs of the stuffed rabbit. It was too late at this point, he might as well get it over with.

Snip

Just like that, Ted was forever differentiated from the majority of humanity. He was one of the vast minority who actually modified a stuffed animal to be fucked. At this point though, with how foggy and heavy his mind was, he didn't care. Swiftly, he rooted around his desk looking for a condom to keep the stuffing from getting in his urethra. Thank god he found one.

Ted's cheeks burned a bright red as he struggled to roll the condom on from how shaky his hands were in that moment. It wasn't his fault that his nerves were getting to him even when he was cock drunk! He felt so... naughty, dirty, improper... but all in the best way possible if that makes sense? Oh the feelings were all too confusing!

To keep his thoughts from spiraling any further, Ted grabbed the stuffed rabbit like a flesh light and quickly lined his cock up with the hole he had just snipped between the stuffed rabbit's back legs right under the tail. Without giving himself the chance for a second chance, he pushed himself into the slim tight hole and it was heaven. The soft fluffy polyester filling felt so silky smooth and thick around his cock. The feeling alone was enough to tear a groan from Ted as he bottomed out in the plush. Shame burned on his cheeks as he shuddered.

It only took him a moment to recollect himself before he started thrusting into the plush. Feeling the stuffing move to make room for him, watching the bulge form in it's little stomach every time he bottomed out, the way it fit so perfectly in his grasp... the memory was already burning its self into his mind. The fact he use to think just rutting against the fur was heavenly was idiotic compared to the reality of this.

He persisted in his purrsuit for pleasure. His cock disappearing deep into the soft fluffy stuffing being a memory that would permanently seared into his memory. Little bits and pieces of stuffing came out with each withdrawl, most getting stuck in Ted's pubes or even on the stuffed animal's fur. Still, that was no reason to pause. He was right on the edge and he sure as hell wasn't going to be edging himself away from it this time. He wanted to stuff mr buns and he wanted to stuff him NOW.

With that being said, it didn't take long before Ted's cock was throbbing through each burst of cum spewing from it. His mind blanked, vision almost going white as he clung tightly to the rabbit from how hard he came. It didn't cross his mind at first that wearing a condom would make clean up much easier then last time, but as he was coming down from his high, he was quite thankful.

:33 < Ok, so this ended up being a lot more heavy then even I was expecting. This is my lesson not to write porn when listening to my everyday playlist I guess! little secret: there is a second scrapped version that had a lot more religious guilt built into it but i decided to scrap. TBH, I probably won't be writing any more plushophilia fics for a bit since I truthfully struggled a lot to write this one haha. I may, MAY, do a rewrite of this later to make it lighter in tone/sound less like a relapse story. Please let me know if you would be interested in it!

:33 < Feel free to send in more requests for fanfics, head cannons, drabbles, ext! I love writing about the chuckle sammy guys, genuinely and truly. Honestly, my goal for this tumblr blog is to provide a space to talk about LEGAL (emphasizing legal because some of y'all are creepy) weird/uncommon/obscure kinks/fetishes!!! I'm willing to at least hear about/research most anything.

:33 < Dividers Credit: @cafekitsune

#ted nivison #ted nivison smut #smut #smut fic #fanfic #asks #🍒 anon #anon request #addiction tw #addiction themes #relapse tw #relapse themes #content warnings #plushophilia #corruption #shame #cathartic writing

53 notes · View notes

coachbeards · 27 days

Text

i forgot i made this

#addiction tw #relapse tw #makes me THINK lol !!!#especially since brendan hc'd it was a woman beard loved who broke him which causes his spiral into drugs #thank god he's not married to a woman who- oh god . oh no.

8 notes · View notes

i-am-confused-always · 4 months

Text

why do I feel like people are sooo nice when they first find out about your mental problems or sh but like a month later the novelty and their ability to care dwindles away and they stop caring at all? They stop checking if your ok. They stop asking about bl00d or new cuts. They stop responding to cry’s for help. They stop caring. And then once again your left to deal with everything alone. Why does it keep happening? Why does it hurt so bad every time? I’m sad again and tired. Might relapse. Idk.

edit: I did lol.

10 notes · View notes

wcshedup · 5 months

Text

@fizziifrxg ;;

{ don't be an IDIOT. } negative self-talk wasn't the most positive of tools -- definitely not the sort of coping strategy that near-sighted therapists pitch in the home stretch of rehab. but if she was being honest with herself, it was the only way she knew how to keep the YEARNING at bay. { don't be a FUCK UP, it's been 6 MONTHS. }

FUCKING BLITZ.

if he hasn't come along on some VALIENT mission to -- what ?? rekindle their relationship from the long-tepid mount of proverbial ashes ?? AS IF. now she was hard-up for work, and without some semblance of routine there was no WAY barbie could hope to keep her place in the halfway accommodations -- and then where would she be ?? { it was one thing to be sober inside, but out on the streets ? an ENTIRELY different moral struggle. }

the uncertainty is threatening to drive the imp right back to the BEST source of stress management she knows -- it would be so easy to wander out into the alleys, the next fix was always closer than the average denizen might realize.

in a last-ditch attempt to corral herself, barbie ACTUALLY takes some of that advice from her counselor. { CALL SOMEONE YOU TRUST. } and there's only one option in that department, only one who wouldn't encourage that destructive method of self-soothing.

the number is already on speed dial. { it rings longer than she expects, actually. }

" HEY fizz -- what're ya up to ? "

#WELCOME TO ME SCREAMING ABOUT THEM.#threads.#fizziifrxg.#addiction tw #relapse tw #drug abuse tw

7 notes · View notes

system-of-a-feather · 2 years

Text

Sometimes I hate how much of a dissociative fuck I am if solely because I've also spent several years of my life as a really really bad maladaptive daydreamer, and as someone who considers them "three years mostly clean" by only writing and engaging in my story in moderation; I have to have these "stop and take a break for a while else this gets into disordered compulsive and addictive territory" and its just like, honestly sucks

Its still 4000x better than whatever the fuck was going on when I was peak bad with maladaptive daydreaming, so much so I can hardly imagine it even though it was explicitly me as a part, but dealing with the haze of not letting yourself be engaged in an internal story world and disconnecting all your emotions, sense of time and history and world off of said internal story world and having to find your way back to remember what the fuck reality is like is just so painstaking, disorientating, and mood souring inherently, cause for a good while, its just like this hugeeee spike in derealization and derealization without depersonalization is just mildly depressing.

Like I'm used to the routine of this at this point so it isn't this huge deal, but it never gets to be anything less than a pain in the ass everytime I have to sit myself aside and say "you hit threshold red flag level, stop here before it gets harder to stop" and its just ughhhh

What do you MEAN I can't completely relapse on my maladaptive daydreaming and completely overturn my life in favor of being a couch potato with no cares for myself, my system, or the world around me because all my needs are "met" by my story?? ugh.

We're doing alright by the way. I just got caught up in an interesting development in the story that hooked me in like a hungry fish; particularly since we are doing some pain in the ass trauma work so my maladaptive daydreaming brain is like "we COULD just tune the world out and go into THIS one" which is like, yes but no and ugh.

I really still do have a large dislike for the fact that the last time I checked the maladaptive daydreaming tags, it was full of people romanticizing and minimizing how crippling and detrimental maladaptive daydreaming can be to life and interpersonal relationships and some people encouraging it cause no, it really isn't. I dunno if the tags are still like that since I just dont interact with it since I last checked.

Daydreaming is a good hobby and coping mechanism, but if its at the point of being MALADAPTIVE daydreaming, ie taking away from responsibilities, life, self care, interpersonal relationships, and/or worsening pre-existing mental health conditions, it is not and while I understand how easy it is to minimize it as someone who was deep in it, it is REALLY not a good thing to be / have / work with.

#alter: riku #maladaptive daydreaming #madd #actually madd #actuallymadd #vent #vent tw #dissociation #derealization #depersonalization #addiction tw #relapse tw

93 notes · View notes