#they should kiss.. old man toxic yaoi | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

divine-misfortune · 1 month

Note

perhaps 45 with omega/alpha, if that sounds interesting?

A kiss out of anger from this prompt list.

Btw toxic old man yaoi art by @aweisz if you even care (thank you so much)

Bracing himself only did so much. It didn’t stop him from choking on the wave of dry heat that assaulted him when he opened the door. Omega dutifully swallowed a mouthful of scalding cinder and gripped the doorknob a little tighter, eyes tracking the scorched path Alpha had paced along the length of his room. It would take several hours to polish his anger from the floorboards but he knew no amount of waxing and shining would remove the traces of ash from the wood. Just another scar.

Omega stepped over the threshold. Willingly entered the cage with the spitting, raging demon and closed the door behind him.

Alpha’s eyes were fixed on the floor, hunched over himself. His arms were folded behind his back, clasping his wrist in one hand while the other repeatedly curled in and out of a fist. Omega ran his tongue over the back of his teeth, finding himself subconsciously mimicking his posture with a well trained rigidity. Steel spined, shoulders squared, hands folded neatly. There was a practiced sense of pride that he couldn’t give up, even now, even when he should be curling in on himself in shame.

“Understand?” He interrupted, sparks sputtering from between his teeth. Restrained anger that Omega didn’t deserve the kindness of. “Where the fuck do you get off taking matters into your own hands like this? You have no right to speak on my behalf, to call me and my capability into question, no fucking right Meg!”

“Alpha,” Omega began without knowing where he was going. If there was even a point to opening his mouth he had yet to find it. He debated a step forward but his body refused to budge and carry him closer to the fire ghoul. “You have to understand-”

“I’m not questioning your capability,” he tried to start again, nails digging into his palm behind his back as he tried to gather himself. Beyond scattered, he found himself grasping blindly for the right wording - searching for the sincerity Alpha deserved but his shallow inhale left too much of a pregnant pause that Alpha took as a chance to continue spitting.

“Oh but you did, you did the second you breathed a word of retirement to clergy. They’re all looking at me differently, like I’m useless. You seem to think I can’t do my fucking job, so what is it?” The question comes out serrated, sharp and ripping through him. “What’s this really about?”

Alpha finally looked at him. Crimson eyes gone dull, the raging fire he’d fallen in love with had burned down to low embers and the guilt jabs him in the gut.

Smoke billowed from the corners of his snarl and Omega found himself grateful for the awful heat filling the room, like the judgmental fires of hell were finally catching up to him. He hoped he burned, at the hands of Alpha or unholy retribution. Perhaps it was a deserved punishment in the end, his unwelcomed overstepping finally leading him to the cliff's edge.

“I’m worried about you.”

Closer now, Omega noticed the twitch of discomfort in Alpha’s face as he stepped forward again. The way his body moved was jerky for a passing second like he was flinching from his own weight on his right leg. Another stab, higher, a knife between his ribs. Closer now, Alpha had never felt further away from him. Despite being in arms reach, there were miles between them.

“Worried about me? You're worried about me?”

“You can't expect me to just sit and watch you-”

“Be honest, this is about Terzo isn't it?”

“Alpha.”

“No, no. It makes sense, it makes a lot of fucking sense when you think about it.” He's close, close enough Omega can feel the heat of his shaky breathing. “You don't think I'm good enough to stand by him anymore, do you? Do I tarnish your humans shiny appearance? Shouldn't surprise me that his image matters more to you-”

“For the love of everything unholy. Alpha, no. Would you just listen to me?”

“Oh yes, yes, of course I should listen. Omega knows best.” He threw his hands up with a laugh of disbelief. Omega couldn't stop his face from screwing up in irritation. “I don't know why I’m wasting my breath here, it’s clear you don’t care about me or a word I say.”

The accusation knocked the wind from his sails, impeccable posture beginning to sag. First in the shoulders and then his arms fell back to his sides, hands curling into fists to hide the shake to them. Alpha scoffed as the quintessence ghoul opened his mouth to argue but couldn’t seem to find the words. Dismissive. He looked tired, years of being beaten into submission and pushing well past his limits taking their toll. Ice crept into his veins, a chilled numbness spreading from the tips of his fingers to his core - he couldn’t place if it was guilt or his own particular brand of rage.

Alpha began to stalk past him, floorboards squeaking shrilly under his step like nails on a chalkboard. He grit his teeth, jaw creaking in kind as he turned and grabbed the other ghoul by the arm. There came the beginnings of a growl but Omega knew it was all bark, that there would never have been a real bite behind it, so he pushed. He pushed Alpha the few steps backwards till his back hit the door too hard, and he’d apologize later, but he chased the nerve he’d managed to scrounge up.

His skin was scalding as Omega grabbed his face roughly, surging forward to mold his mouth to Alpha’s before he could bite off another sharp word. The fire ghoul made a choked off sound of surprise, head thumping against the wood. His lips were rough, overly worried raw by well filed fangs, and Omega ached somewhere in his ribs at the familiarity. Months, it had been months since he'd felt Alpha against him and he hadn’t realized how much he missed it. Missed him.

Tobacco and communion wine. Omega was sure Alpha had stolen it from the chapel and downed the bottle in an attempt to quell his anger but it hardly seemed to do the trick given where they found themselves.

He braced a hand against Omega’s broad chest, not exactly pushing him away, it felt like another vye for physical contact. A quiet admission of how much Alpha missed this all the same. One kiss hardly felt like enough to convey himself, but as he flicked his tongue over the seam of his lips and Alpha reluctantly let him in, it felt like a start. The best he could do so suddenly.

Slipping into his mouth, Alpha groaned lowly and leaned fully against the closed door, curling his fingers into the front of the other ghoul’s uniform to drag him all that much closer. Flames seemingly extinguished, the heat beneath his palms began to ebb back to a comfortable warmth and Omega let up a bit, opting to cradle his face instead of grab. Offer him a touch of tenderness, it was the least he could do.

That clever forked tongue forced past his teeth and sought to lick the soured ash from his mouth.

It was a moment he wished they could stay suspended in forever, reminiscent of their younger days where every spare moment they could steal together was passion fueled and driven by sparks. Alpha’s warm breath tickled against his cheek with every pleasured sigh, neither of them managing to quiet a single grateful sound.

He started to pull back, managing an inch before changing his mind. Pressing forward for another far more chaste kiss, hating the idea of it ever truly ending.

“Alpha…” The quintessence ghoul started, stroking a thumb over the cut of his cheek, eyes flicking from his spit shined lips to his almost glassy eyes. They refocused a bit more with every sluggish blink. “Alpha, love, I’ve never doubted you or your ability to perform for a minute, but I worry about how hard you push yourself.”

He found himself frowning despite the previous giddy flutter of his heart.

“You might be immortal, but your vessel is not.” Omega smoothed his hands down Alpha’s front, pausing over his chest to just feel his pulse and the labored breaths he took. “You’re not a young ghoul anymore, and I know you don’t want to admit it…So I admitted it for you. I know it wasn’t my place but I couldn’t sit and watch you work yourself to the bone.”

“Megs,” Alpha sighed, brow furrowing. “Why didn’t you talk to me?”

“Because I know you, and I know you’d never go quietly.” He chuckled though there was no real humor there, tinged by something sad. “We only have so much time left on the surface, and the idea of not spending the rest of it with you at my side is agonizing. I just wanted you to come back to me and not worry about you leaving again, always coming back in worse shape than you left in…You’re making me go gray from all the worrying I have to do.”

It was Alpha’s turn to laugh. A sort of snort, actually amused unlike his previous attempt. Omega tipped his forehead against his, wanting to melt into him and his comforting warmth.

“I’m sorry, my light. I would never do something like this to slight you, you know that, right?”

“...Yeah, yeah I do.”

#i did not proof read this oishdios #they love each other theyre both just stubborn and dont know how to talk abt their feelings #writing #answered #void writing #nameless ghouls #alpha ghoul #omega ghoul #alpha/omega #alpha x omega #omega/alpha #omega x alpha #the band ghost #ghost the band #the band ghost ficlet

153 notes · View notes

ultimateloserboy · 7 months

Text

sorry dhmis fandom i havent been around to ramble as much because i was off getting mad bitches and touching grass. but im back and ready to get really sappy and emotional and compare my life to old man yaoi. so anyway. do you ever think about how lonely the main three are despite being right next to each other. how they really do love each other but they dont trust each other nor do they know how to properly treat each other. like they try their best but their best isnt enough. they try to teach themselves how to love but its made them selfish. growing up in shitass nowhere alabama, traumatized as fuck, this is how friendships have sometimes felt for me. nothing is serious, everything is ignored, everything is funny no matter what. our words may sting each other but we stay silent and fake a laugh. and then those friendships would fade into weird gay bromances. and yeah those middleschool ass homo-friendships might be shitty but theres something so nice about the moments in the dark, when you realize you like looking at each other. when you realize that maybe you should be kinder. maybe you should trust them more. maybe if you hold their hand long enough and close your eyes tight enough you wont have to go back to pretending to be cruel. and it might notve worked back in middle school, we may have crashed and burned, but i still look back fondly on those moments in the dark. and now that im older, and ive learned to be kinder, and ive met others whove learned the same, im finally with someone that likes looking at me even when the lights are on. im surrounded by people whove lived and learned. like sonic adventure two am i right guys. but seriously. ive said this before and ill say it again. dont hug me im scared makes my fucked up life feel represented, but it also gives me hope. those gayass puppets may forever be trapped in toxic yaoi, but i am not, we as real people are not. theyll learn how to love and forget in an hour, their efforts are hopeless, but ours are not. GO OUT AND KISS YOUR HOMIES TODAY. BE KIND. LOVE YOURSELF AND LOVE EACH OTHER. HOLD THEIR HAND IN THE DARK AND IN THE LIGHT. THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE DESERVE MORE THAN A MINUTE OF AFFECTION. YOU DESERVE MORE THAN A MINUTE OF AFFECTION. WE ARE HUMAN AND WEVE MADE MISTAKES, AND WELL MAKE THEM AGAIN, BUT WE CAN CHANGE, WE CAN GROW, THEIR LIFE WILL NEVER CHANGE BUT OURS WILL. THEY WILL NEVER DIE BUT WE WILL. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON FOR THE MISTAKES YOUVE MADE, BUT YOU SHOULD FIX THEM WHILE YOU CAN, BETTER YOURSELF WHILE YOU CAN. DONT SPEND YOUR LIFE DRIFTING AND WAITING FOR A FRIDGE SCENE TO HAPPEN. MAKE EVERY DAY YOUR FRIDGE SCENE. AMEN

#this might be about my beautiful partner and how theyve changed my life so what #i like looking at them #dhmis #dont hug me im scared #dhmis tv show #dhmis tv series #fluffybird #dhmis analysis #dhmis trio #dhmis fandom

92 notes · View notes

ratsbypaulzindel · 2 months

Text

HI. BIG OVERVIEW OC POST THING. IT'S RAINFOREST FLOODS.

have you ever thought to yourself "hey wouldnt it be cool if there was an oc story made by two guys and it was about a haunted waterpark slash arcade in a fake town in a real state". you probably haven't. but if you have youre in luck! more under the cut ok.

rainforest floods is a terrible no good ocverse made by me and my good friend crawford @dykeseesgod. everyone in it sucks and is horrible except maybe one or two side characters. it's set in the podunk middle of nowhere town of timberline, new mexico, and more specifically a waterpark/arcade called rainforest floods (title drop).

also the waterpark SUUUCKS like its budget is nothing they are in debt. the managers havent paid taxes in 15 years. anyway these are the employees. theyre bad

and these are the co-managers. theyre even worse (and also toxic old man yaoi. these refs were drawn by the aforementioned crawford)

anyway yeah. they get up to wacky hijinks in what will ideally be a tv show coming out in one million years. they're also horrible and tragic. most of it is bruce's fault. some of its not though!

ok also here's some other side characters.

^ running gag that nobody knows her name except kelsey who has a huge crush on her.

^ unnamed girl's younger brother who is constantly faced with horrors and torment at the hands of the rainforest floods employees. dont get me wrong hes annoying as fuck but he didnt deserve to run on that hamster wheel. (ref also drawn by ford)

^ jeff's girlfriend. also the coolest person in timberline new mexico. worlds most unimportant minor character but she is wonderful and loved by the producers (me and cosmo)

FUNNY OUT OF CONTEXT THINGS THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU MORE INVESTED IN THIS OCVERSE

rainforest floods stupidity logic is a thing me and robbie came up with to explain why all the characters are idiots who dont find things out that are important to the plot too soon.

there's a chain gimmick restaurant that andy's whole family runs except him. its like italian food but its like also magicians. their tagline is "so good its practically magic". andy hates it.

kyle has a curse on him so that nobody remembers or recognizes him outside of like. his family. so the rff employees arent even targeting him for their shenanigans on purpose theyre all just weird freaks.

kelsey gives unnamed girl the company landline as her phone number because shes stupid and a ghost and doesnt have a phone.

the employees all get together on wednesdays in the breakroom and compare evidence on whether or not andy and bruce are together romantically. its the one thing that truly bonds them all together.

vincent: is a watchmojo fan, had his first kiss as beethoven in his 12th grade production of dog sees god confessions of a teenage blockhead (2004), gets really christian in some episode subplot, is not a swiftie but he is a gaylor, wishes he was jonathan sims sooooo bad, types like a toddler who was just given a keyboard.

vincent also ruined rainforest floods' lobby playlist

also there's a brand account that we run and post on whenever we feel like it. its more of a sounding board for ideas we may explore more in the future. its fun but it may be a bit difficult to get the full idea with the execution so :-( sorry you wont fully understand our wonderful and hilarious visions

annnd i think that's it. yay worlds silliest yet most tragic oc story. ok bye ^_^

#vel.txt #oc stuff #rainforest floods

30 notes · View notes

real-fire-emblem-takes · 12 days

Note

My last ask I talked about people not appreciating Thracia enough, and in addition to that I think people don’t appreciate its characters enough either. For example, August is like, one of if not the best tactician in fire emblem. He’s a pragmatist and ready to set a young and inexperienced Leif straight without being an asshole. He denies the importance of dying for honor, and even though he was only there at first because he was ordered to be by Lewyn, Leif’s abilities as a leader made him stick around and got him a job as Leif’s advisor post-game. It really warmed my heart to see him kind of turn from a jaded guy who was skeptical of Leif’s underdog self and his ragtag army to a great tactician of a whole liberation army, proud of his like adopted son Leif for growing into an admirable leader with his advice…

I’m glad he made it into heroes, he deserves a lot more recognition for being such a cool guy and amazing tactician. I also hope Dryas gets in soon because they’re boyfriends and should kiss. Toxic old man Yaoi ❤️

#August fire emblem #fe5 #fire emblem thracia 776 #fe #fire emblem #story takes

12 notes · View notes

toxicsludgeyaoi · 7 months

Text

Toxic Sludge Yaoi Preliminaries: Genshin Edition!

Dottoscara Vs Zhongxiao Vs Albedocest

(Note: The two ships with the highest percentage will proceed. Vote for your favorite.)

Note: propaganda may or may not include spoilers for this media. Read at your own risk. Propaganda under cut.

Dottoscara propaganda:

"They’re narrative foils"

"Dottoscara is a man who has been excluded from the rest of humanity, and a puppet who has turned his back on humanity, finding comfort and kinship in one another and in turn, making each other less and less human. They don't love each other, but there's something just as powerful that connects them. They manipulate each other, they fight, they kiss, they hate each other and they need each other and will always be connected in some way, even if they forget each other. They both chose to cling to each other, until they finally separated, changed forever and yet still attached."

Zhongxiao propaganda:

"Unhealthy devotion, thousands of years of pining, emotionally constipated old man yaoi... plus people keep calling them father and son for some reason. So. Yeah. Anyways Xiao is so devoted to Zhongli. Would literally do anything for him. Zhongli is like 👍 👌 cool let me retire lmaoooo."

Albedocest propaganda:

"Rubedo or susbedo or whatever you call him is sooooo jealous of Albedo. He wants to be him so bad. But he's not, he wasn't good enough. Makes him mad. Albedo and Rubedo just. Have such a fascinating dynamic for being in an event YEARS ago pls Hoyo continue this storyline"

11 notes · View notes

venusluvrr · 3 years

Text

The Psychological Horror Manhwa “Killing Stalking” is not a Romance, but an Emotional Series Depicting the Codependent Relationship Between Two Ill Individuals

Content Warning!!: contains mentions of sexual abuse (rape) and mental illness.

Killing Stalking is an immensely twisted webcomic series, mainly popular within the Yaoi community for its boy on boy focused plotline. The story follows characters Yoon Bum (Bum), a shy, scrawny young man with a haunting past filled with abuse, and Oh Sangwoo (Sangwoo), a younger man who also has a quite damaging upbringing but masks it perfectly with his vibrant, extroverted personality. After being saved from a rape attempt during his time serving in the military, Bum develops a crush on his saviour, Sangwoo, from which an unhealthy obsession starts to arise and he eventually finds himself locating and breaking into the man’s home one day when he’s out. When he does, he discovers a terribly injured woman being held captive in his basement, and with further evidence, soon comes to the realization that his crush is actually a serial killer -- hence the name “Killing Stalking,” as Sangwoo kills and Bum stalks. For a very specific reason though, Sangwoo decides not to kill the man that had been stalking him, and instead holds him hostage in his custody. From here, the story goes into exceeding depth of the abnormal, toxic, and manipulative relationship the two form during their time spent together. By just the mere description of it, it’s a bit concerning to know that a large portion of readers still support Sangwoo and Bum’s relationship. In other words, they believe they truly loved each other and that the story was not only horror fiction but a romance as well. One could easily come to this conclusion by basing their relationship on the few parts within the novel where they showed affection towards each other -- for example when Bum allows Sangwoo to hug him to sleep when he suffered through the night, or my personal favourite, when Sangwoo buys Bum a stuffed frog keychain after finding out that he had an affinity for such creatures. But we cannot simply dismiss the underlying factors of their relationship because of some cute things they did that made our heart melt -- Sangwoo still abused Bum at his leisure which makes those moments quite meaningless in the sense of it all. What Sangwoo and Yoonbum shared can’t be classified as “love,” because even with their peculiar bond and endearing moments, the psychological damage they both endured played a bigger part in the way they perceived each other.

Many toxic relationships start out lovely and glamorous until the couple have become comfortable enough to start revealing some bad habits, but in Sangwoo and Bum’s case, they were already off to a bad start, as the reason they remained with each other was solely for reasons pertaining to their poor mental health.

At the time Sangwoo saved Bum in the military, Bum still suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) -- a disorder he inferrably developed due to the fact that he grew up being constantly physically and sexually abused by the people around him. People with this illness may easily develop an infatuation for a person who shows them even the least bit of care; It can reach the point where they begin to idolize them and see them almost as a perfect human being -- which is exactly how Bum viewed Sangwoo after he helped him to escape a rape attempt. The likely specific term for what Sangwoo was to Bum is a Favourite Person (FP). To an individual suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, their FP is everything -- their self-worth, identity and emotional dependency all rely on this one person, making them the center of their lives. In contrast to this sincere fondness, the only reason Sangwoo kept Bum alive was because of the man’s resemblance to his late mother -- the one person in his life who he truly loved. While his father was abusive and negligent, his mother tried her best to care for her son even while her own mental stability wasn’t so great either. Even though it was implied that he was responsible for the murder of both his mother and father in high school -- getting away with it scotch-free because of how perfectly executed his plan was -- he still shared a special bond with the woman, allowing her existence follow and continue to torutue him mentally as he grew older. When he saw Yoonbum, he felt as if she had been somewhat resurrected, or at least he could pretend so by dressing him up in his mother’s clothes and making him cook and do the chores; He also played the husband role by abusing and assaulting Bum just as his father did to his mother -- mostly just out of his own nature. Sangwoo had his own issues, “mommy issues,” and he initially needed to keep Bum alive so he could fulfill his own longing desires. Knowing the man’s character though, things wouldn’t end there and instead headed down a very gruesome and frightful path.

The very reasons that the two were drawn to each other we’re even more evident the longer they lived under the same roof. While Yoonbum continued to recall the perfect image he had of Sangwoo in his head, Sangwoo continued to manipulate the man in order to satisfy his own needs. A healthy relationship cannot be based on deceit, because one person will end up victimized instead of loved.

Oh Sangwoo is a sadistic sociopath with a history of kidnapping, abusing, raping and torturing innocent people, and because of his illness, he shows feels and shows no remorse for his actions and even proceeds to kill off his victims as they pleaded in objection. What some people don’t understand is that when Sangwoo met Bum, the only reason he treated him differently was not because he thought of him as special, but because he had a personal agenda that included making Bum think that was the truth and that he was indeed the favoured victim among many. It’s no surprise with the man’s manipulative personality that he would enjoy planting a lie in Bum’s head to make him stay and continue to do as he says, and this is confirmed whenever he returned back to his old destructive habits even after showing the man acts of affection. Yes, Sangwoo spared Bum’s life, clothed him and fed him, but as their bond grew, his narcissistic attitude was still more apparent than ever.

Upon meeting Bum for the first time, Sangwoo didn’t hesitate to aggressively break his ankles to prevent his mobility, he left the man within the dark confinement of his basement for a certain period of time before letting him out only after he had gained his trust. He made him sit in a chair to wash dishes and make dinner because he could no longer stand. Sangwoo also constantly dragged Bum down with derogatory words and statements every chance he could get, this included calling him a “retard,” and referring to him as a “disgusting” and “filthy” human being. As confirmed by the author, Sangwoo is also heterosexual, which is further proved by the homophobic remarks he made towards a significantly older man who was sexually attracted to him while murdering him with Bum’s aid. This fact alone is another one that should justify a strong point that demonstrates the true hostility of their relationship -- Yoonbum never gave his consent to have sex with Sangwoo, nor did he allow it to happen because “he wanted it.” He specifically used phrases such as, “No,” “Stop,” and “It hurts,” implying that sometimes there was no mutual agreement when they had sex and Sangwoo had actually raped him several times.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder have been reported to have difficulties seeing the faults in their partner -- this explains why Bum still held on to him. He chose to stay when he had the chance to escape, and with tears rolling down his face from excruciating pain he still told Sangwoo he loved him. In a scene where Bum is left alone with the police as they investigate the suspicions they have surrounding him, he questions them saying, “Could you kiss somebody like me? Could you love somebody like me?” As he believes nobody but Sangwoo could answer yes to those two questions, convinced that Sangwoo really does have feelings for him. It’s saddening to know that the poor man had successfully been lured into a trap, and because of his mental health it would be much harder for him to realize it.

To the readers that think, “Sangwoo and Yoonbum needed each other,” -- You’re not completely wrong. They did need each other in the way that they found somewhat of a saneness from each other’s presence, each using one another to each other’s benefit. But being together at the same time built on their insanity, as the presence of Sangwoo’s mother seemed to grow even more prevalent with Bum, who resembled her, also in the picture, and Yoonbum growing so unhealthily attached to Sangwoo that he constantly feared of abandonment and turned the sociopath into the only source of his happiness. They needed each other, but not for the right reasons. They were attached to each other, but there was no love, otherwise it would reflect throughout the story. One of the most debate-worthy scenes that challenge this fact is when Sangwoo is reported by an old lady in the hospital, the one that had ended his life, that he was calling out Bum’s name throughout the night as he lay in his deathbed. Those were his final words, and Yoonbum’s final word was also Sangwoo’s name before he was very well implied to have been hit by a car while he chased an illusion of the man he “loved.” Even I almost felt that this was solid proof that even through the tough and terrible of their relationship, deep inside, the two really were in love but could not express it in the right way due to their mental health issues -- after all, what someone makes of their final moments before death is much more meaningful than most of what they've done in their life entirely. But I came to realize that the only way I could support this relationship would be if they had met in an alternate universe where they did not suffer from such dreadful childhood trauma that made them into the hurting individual they had become before meeting each other. As difficult as it is for me to picture the two with different partners, it would be best if the two had not met at all as they only fed into the severity of their conditions.

#killing stalking #sangwoo #yoonbum #yaoi #horror #manhwa

120 notes · View notes

pak-pak-suhgar · 3 years

Text

Lost One

Pairing: Johnny x Jaehyun

genre: angst, happy ending at the end.

Summary: In which where Jaehyun caught Johnny and Taeyong on their bed. With Johnny on top of Taeyong— topless. How did the two older guys got into that position? Jaehyun doesn't know and Johnny doesn't either, leaving the younger in a broken heart state.

A/N: My first yaoi fanfic on this blog and my first johnjae fanfic as well. This was written on phone so sorry for the mistakes. English isn't my first language either so I apologize for the grammatical error! Happy reading~

Johnny and Jaehyun has been dating for almost 4 years. Yes, you heard it right. They've been together for whole fucking years. So, why is it one of those times now where Jaehyun has to see an unpleasant scene before him? He stood at their door, frozen in his spot. Both guys haven't realized his presence not until he accidentally chokes out a sob. Johnny looked back, ready to glare whoever it was that interrupted them only to have his eyes widen. He immediately got off of Taeyong while the other older guy sat up. Panic was plastered over their face as Johnny quickly dresses himself and sprinted his way towards to Jaehyun. Ready to explain whatever bullshit he could come up with.

Jaehyun remained on his spot, unmoving but his eyes were avoiding the taller one's who was now grabbing both of his arms. Jaehyun was emotionally drained- exhausted, numb. His feelings was all over the place that he doesn't know what to feel, "Jaehyun.. I can explain... It's not what it looks like-" Slap! Jaehyun could feel the excruciatin pain on his palm the moment it landed on Johnny's cheek, "But it is what it looks like." he replied spitefully, as much as he wanted to sound emotionless and harsh. He was too hurt to even try to sound like one. Jaehyun doesn't want to hear Johnny's explanations, so he swatted the elder's hands and made his way towards their shared closet. He grabs his bag and began to put all of his stuff or whatever he could grab from the closet.

This put Johnny on alert as he stood behind Jaehyun and held his wrist in attempt to stop him, "Baby, what are you doing- where are you going?" he bombards the younger with questions. Jaehyun doesn't bother to reply as he only prys Johnny's hands away, when he settled most of his stuff. His eyes were bloodshot red, he looks at Johnny then at Taeyong who couldn't look straight in his eyes. He wanted to shout at both men and tell them off. But he decides that they aren't worth it, so instead pushes Johnny out of the way and left their room, "Jaehyun- baby, wait!" Johnny calls out but Jaehyun never turned back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks had passed since Johnny has last seen Jaehyun, he couldn't contact him either and he was worried sick. Jaehyun wasn't in the dorms, that was alarming. Johnny had tried to contact Jaehyun's closest friends, but none of them spoke about the younger's whereabouts. Or at least they wouldn't out Jaehyun just like that considering of what he did to Jaehyun. Johnny runs his hands through his hair in frustration and punched the wall, Taeyong who had witnessed the scene came up to Johnny and held hos hand, Johnny pushes him away and glared at him, "Don't fucking touch me! I-It's all your fault! Jaehyun is nowhere to be found and our relationship is at stake!" Taeyong could only scoff before glaring back at the taller male.

"If you could have had kept your dick in your pants and didn't allowed yourself to get seduced by me, you wouldn't be in this situation, Johnny. You put yourself into this situation." Taeyong says, before he leaves Johnny alone. He remained speechless and unmoving in his spot, what Taeyong said was true. Johnny wasn't able to wait for Jaehyun that he just let his emotions eat him up and control him to give in to his desires. Jaehyun had been fairly busy with his drama film that Johnny barely saw Jaehyun- let alone have sex with him. Whenever Jaehyun comes home, he was dead tired and would knock out the moment he sleeps in their bed. Johnny blames himself from everything that happened. He was afraid, he was scared- scared to death that Jaehyun will leave him for good. He sat on the floor and hugged his knees as he could do nothing but cry his heart out hoping that the pain will fade somehow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sicheng, I really can't bother you and Kun hyung anymore.. I'm sorry for crashing in but thank you for letting me stay." Jaehyun says, looking so apologetically at Sicheng. The male could only snort and waved his hand in dismiss, "Jae, you're always welcome here. Are you sure you can go back? Are you ready to face him?" Sicheng asks, concern written all over his face as he looks out for his friend. It took Jaehyun a few moments before nodding his head, "Yeah... I have to go home. I can't run away from it forever." he replies, he could feel the tears pricking his eyes but he blinks them away. He had been crying for weeks and his eyes honestly hurt a lot. Sicheng nodded his head in understanding, sighing at his friends' demise before giving Jaehyun a pat on the back, "Fine, but if you wanna come back. You're welcome to." He reassures with a smile, to which the younger returns happily. They hug one last time before Jaehyun went back to the dorm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A loud banging woke Johnny up from his sleep, he groans at the noise and flutters his eyes open, "Come in." he says in a groggy voice before sitting up, Haechan slammed the door open as he ran towards Johnny, "Hyung. Jaehyun hyung came back home last night" with the information that Haechan spit out, Johnny became wide awake as he looked at Haechan, "J-Jaehyun? Where is he? I need to go see him." he says, almost wanting to fly towards wherever Jaehyun is, "In his old room! At the 10th floor!" Haechan shouted before Johnny disappeared into sight.

He wasted no time going upstairs and instantly inputting the passcode to the dorm, thankfully no one was inside so he invited himself in. He didn't think twice to barge into Jaehyun's room, his eyes searching for the man everywhere and when it landed on the figure. He felt like he could breathe again, like suddenly the air that was knocked out from him came back. His gaze softens as he looks at the man who was peacefully asleep. But his heart breaks when he realizes that Jaehyun may probably break their relationship off. It explains why he went here instead of going back to their bedroom. Of course Jaehyun wouldn't want to be reminded of what happened in that room.

They made so many good memories but also made the most hurtful one. Johnny was about to caress Jaehyun's face when the younger suddenly woke up from his sleep, he suddenly sat up and moved away drom Johnny, making Johnny's heart break into pieces, "What are you doing here?" Jaehyun was the first to break the silence, sucking in a deep breath as he looks everywhere but Johnny, "I... I know it's too late but I wanted to apologize." Johnny said, pausing for a moment and waits for Jaehyun to respond. When the younger didn't, he assumed that he gave him the chance to explain now so Johnny began doing so.

"I.. I let my emotions get to me. You were just so busy that we barely had time together.. When was the last we had sex? Whenever I took the initiative, you'd brush me off. And whenever you're back in our room, you knock out. I know you have drama filming but you didn't give us some time together-" Johnny was cut off by the loud scoff that Jaehyun made, the younger finally looks at him. And he felt his heart break as he sees the tears in Jaehyun's eyes. "And that gives you the excuse to fuck Taeyong? He seduced you and you give in? Have you even thought of me when you let your 'so called emotions' eat you up?" he asks, Johnny couldn't speak and this made only Jaehyun snort. He was right, it's no excuse for him. It's the end, Johnny thinks.

Jaehyun took a deep breath before finally speaking, "Look.. I know, we haven't spent much time these days.. I was planning to take you out on a trip because we finally finished our last filming. As soon as we finished, I came back as early as I could, John. That day... I planned everything out. But you- you and Taeyong hyung..." Jaehyun couldn't continue to speak as he chokes out a sob. He harshly wipes the tears away before covering his face with his hands, Johnny couldn't take the scene anymore and ended up pulling the younger in his arms. Hugging him flush to his chest as he sniffs in Jaehyun's scent. God knows how much he missed holding the younger in his arms like this, Jaehyun didn't bother pulling away.

When he felt the younger calm down, Jaehyun pulls away and wipes his tears. Johnny dreaded this moment, the silence was triggering his anxiety when Jaehyun kept his mouth shut. He was anxiously waiting for the younger to speak and when he did, he cut Jaehyun off. "Johnny, I think we should-" "No!" Johnny imemdiately declines, startling the younger male. "No... please... don't.. I... I don't-" "You don't wanna make up?" Jaehyun asks, tilting his head innocently. This caught Johnny off. He wasn't breaking up? "You won't... break up with me?" Johnny asks, hope fills his eyes, Jaehyun blinks at him in confusion before slowly nodding his head. "I won't... you hurt me, John. But when we first dated.. I told you no relationships are perfect.. and so is ours.. However, I can't really forget about this. But, no matter how painful it is.. My love is still stronger. I just needed a break and to gather my thoughts.. Breaking up with you crossed my mind and I debated over that for a few weeks that I was gone." Jaehyun says, biting his inner cheek as he confesses his feelings out. "But, I realized that my heart will always long for you, it will always love you. Because you are my soulmate, Youngho. I could never leave you."

And maybe, even if things do get toxic. Jaehyun will be too much of a martyr person to ever leave Johnny. So, they eventually make up and try to patch their relationship again.

Johnny kisses Jaehyun's forehead as he held the younger in his arms, "Thank you, Yoonoh.." Jaehyun tilts his head and glances up at Johnny, "For what?" "For not becoming my lost one."

34 notes · View notes

dangerliesbeforeyou · 5 years

Text

HIStory’s ranked (no one asked, but here i go)

so i was sittin here, talkin to myself about the HIStory series’ and was like ‘hey, i should rank them’ (which i’ve seen a few other people do, but mines a lot more rambling than there’s because i can’t shut up lol)

so here’s my views lol (ordered from worst to best, imo):

6) My Hero (HIStory1) -

probably universally acknowledged as the worst episode, and i’d be inclined to agree with the masses on this lol... not only is the tone and humour of this series so weird and disjointed, but the entire story line literally makes no sense lol?? it’s unclear who the audience should be rooting for (especially as it goes out of it’s way to paint our protagonist as really unlikable lol, not to mention the love interest is the dullest character ever conceived like ???), as well as this the ending feels completely unrelated and bizarre...

i think this concept /could/ have worked if the guy the woman was inhabiting (which sounds weird without context, but like she’s dead lol) was somehow also inside his head? or if she got to see his memories or whatever & tries to adjust her personality to match the guy’s, causing love interest!dude to fall in love with the guy... (like i could go into more detail, i basically hav an entire au written in my head lol, but yh...)... that way, her letting go of him in the end would feel so much more well set up? especially if she was generally more understanding and likeable..

i think overall this series just fails in telling a decent story lol... & the cringe is even beyond what i can handle lol

5) Obsessed (HIStory1) -

people might be surprised to see this one so low down, especially since i know a lot of people really love this series (& if u do, no hate to u btw, ur allowed to like whatever u want idc), but i realllllly don’t like this series... like at all ...

the plot is weird anyway, which isnt inherently a bad thing, but then u add on the really bad couple and it’s just...... bad lol... like everything about their relationship is built on lies and deceit, and even more so than that it’s built on a lack of mutual respect and fundamental trust for each other! tall guy (i don’t know names soz) feigns memory loss in order to get closer to short guy (btw, the scenes with them being domestic were really sweet, & i firmly believe this could have been an alright series for the actors if the story line wasn’t so bad), short guy’s whole existence in that universe was a lie lol (like i know there’s no easy way to tell someone ‘lol well i’m technically from the future’ but still), then there’s the whole resolution at the end & it’s just so ??? frustrating lol!

nothing bugs me more than seeing conflict in relationships (on screen or irl) that could be solved simply by TALKING TO EACH OTHER GODDAMNIT & isnt lol... my other issue with this series is the fact tall guy 100% forced himself upon short guy in the tent & like we’re just supposed to accept it cos ?? he’s saying no and pushing away but actually he wants it because he loves tall guy ?? like fuck no i’m not accepting that lol!

basically, bad & bizarre story & characters, & gross tropes just makes this hard for me to watch and enjoy lol... i think, like in my hero, this could’ve done with being a different story altogether lol... (maybe tall guy actually did lose his memory & he falls for short guy all on his own with no predatory intentions?? idk something like that)

4) Right or Wrong (HIStory2)

this one & my number 3 are very much tied tbh, but this one is just slightly lower just because i’m not as big into the couple as i know a lot of people are... & it’s not necessarily the age gap, cos i dont actually mind age gaps in pairings (just as long as the younger one isnt a minor, obv... and also i think any gap that’s 30+ years is a bit weird lol..).. i think my big problem with this is i dont really see why younger guy (again, i have no idea of any of these characters’ names lol) would fall for the older guy? like the older guy is obvs going thru some issues, and hasnt been taking care of himself or his kid properly because of them, but like we dont rly see a lot of why he’s a great guy? like we get the sense young guy is attracted to him, but like love is more than just thinkin they’re hot lol... idk lol this might just be me tbh i just couldnt see why he’d be interested lol

i did like the whole family side though, and showing how a man who was previously with a woman can still end up with a guy (bisexualityyyyy (or some variation of that thereupon)) is something you dont always see in media, so i thought that was pretty cool! (even if the ex-wife thing was kinda lame lol...)

i think overall i see what this series was going for, and that it actually did an alright job in some parts... the biggest problem is that it’s kinda just forgettable lol... maybe that’s why people like obsessed so much lol? maybe it was a train wreck but ohh boy at least u wont forget it in a hurry lol!

3) Stay Away From Me (HIStory1) -

i’m a bit torn about this one, cos there are parts of it i actually really like (them going from rivals/enemies to being good friends to being more), and other parts i really didnt (the stereotypical squealing yaoi fangirl friend)... & tbh, i kinda wish this had just been a show about the budding friendship between the 2 guys... it almost feels too forced to me that they’re made to ‘fall in love’ when i actually think them both becoming less selfish and learning to respect each other as step brothers & friends is actually already a really great story (& i know that it doesnt fit with the whole ‘HIStory’ thing, but stories of platonic brotherhood/’bromance’ are just as important as gay representation... isnt a /substitute/ for representation, don’t get me wrong, but it’s always so beautiful to see decently portrayed non-toxic friendships between guys... ok this is a rant for another day tho shhh)

i think maybe why i like this one more than the other HIStory1′s is because kinda nothing happens lol... it’s not overly complex with weird unexplained magic things happening, it’s just a simple story lol... is it still tropey as hell? of course lol! but i think the ‘realism’ of the world really helps, and i def think this was incorporated more into HIStory 2, which i’m really glad about...

overall, this is a relatively harmless series & is actually quite sweet at times... the kiss is awkward as fuck tho (there, i said it lol...)... it suffers the same forgetability as right or wrong tho...

2) Crossing the Line (/Boundary Crossing) (HIStory2) -

ok, so here’s a series i 100% love & totally agree with the hype around lol! i hav no interest in volleyball (or any sports tbh), but the way this show handles the friendships and dynamics between the characters is really well done, especially for a series that’s only 8 episodes long! i also really love that none of the characters really fall into any stereotypes (which is a great improvement from HIStory1 i can tell u lol), and are given the space to actually have some growth & nuance at times?!

(nuance? in MY HIStory series?? it’s more likely than you think!)

the main couple have really amazing chemistry, and the way they get together doesnt feel too out of place or that it’s going to fast, it just sorta flows really nicely... even the side couple are pretty well done (though i wasnt that big into them on my first watch, just cos the whole overbearing older brother thing was kinda annoying... i liked them more as the series went on tho...)

i kinda dont have any major complaints? which is bizarre cos i always hav complaints about things lol... maybe my complaint would be that they all look way too old and attractive to be whatever teenage age they’re supposed to be lol... (but tbh that doesnt take anything away from the story so i’ll forgive them lol...)... i think maybe i wouldnt consider it my favourite because the story line didnt grab me like the number 1... but i really cant fault it in terms of what it delivers lol, legit such a well put together series!

1) Trapped (HIStory3) -

lol i think anyone who’s been following me for the past few months aren’t in the slightest bit surprised this is my number one... i just love it too much lol!

from the incredibly well written and well acted characters, to the interesting and engaging (even if a bit ridiculous) plot, to the beautifully told romance , it really has it all doesn’t it!!! & i think even if this wasnt an enemies to lovers thing (aka one of the most godtier of all fanfic tropes), there’s so many things going for this series that make it worth watching! i have a few complains about editing choices and a few bad trope plot points which were just unnecessary (plus the fact we missed out on a lot of background info on some major characters lol...), but like despite everything this series rly struck a chord with me deep down in my soul lol

i could go waaay more into detail (and maybe i will one day lol... tho not rn, i’m v tired), but the gist of the matter is: i really love trapped lol

(conclusion)

Even though i’ve complained quite a bit here, i am so grateful for the HIStory series’ for bringing really interesting, and a little mad, stories with gay characters and story lines, with a big emphasis on happy endings! there are so many lgbt stories/characters in things that end up dying or just have bad endings, which just sends this horrible message that lgbt people aren’t worthy of having happy endings, which is completely untrue!

So i look forward to future HIStory’s, even if some of them are gonna be bad (& maybe none will live up to the trapped!shaped bullet firmly lodged in my heart lol)

fin~

#HIStory series #HIStory1 #HIStory2 #HIStory3 #(not gonna tag them all individually cos we'll be here for years lol)#review #rant #(not really)#gay series #taiwanese series #lgbt series #lgbtq #HIStory #i've not read it through lol... might make no sense... dont read this lol

43 notes · View notes

mirios-eyes-are-beautiful · 5 years

Text

aa So I just woke up to this?

I’m just.. speechless? I can’t believe this actually happened, so thank you all for the last few months, for every like, reblog and comment. It’s been such a pleasure to interact with you and scream about Mirio and The Big Three<3 I hope 2019 won’t bring us too many tears (spoiler: it will.) and we can all laugh about their shenanigans again (spoiler: we won’t.). This blog came alive with crazy good fanart, hilarious memes and sweet headcanons, sprinkled with my neverending affection towards Mirio, so kudos go out to the amazing artists and writers that create the content we love<3 Thank you for over 1k followers and I hope to see the family of mirihoes grow in the progressing year! I’ve received a lot of questions for my milestone special and I only picked out a few, but if you want more of these, let me know! Now let’s dive right into the Q&A!

Heey~ I’m a huge Bnha fan and I love this blog, keep up the great work!! \(^-^)/ I’d love to know how old you are, if that’s not too personal of a question?

Not at all! I’m actually 20 y/o and my Birthday is in June, also my zodiac is Gemini👭

What do you do for a living?

I’m a university student in my second year! I’m majoring in Linguistics and my minor is English Literature and Culture. Though before, I did a year of Environmental Sciences, but it just wasn’t my cup of tea so I quit🤷‍♀️ I’m also part timing at a boutique.

Hello! I check your blog everyday and I can’t with all your reactions, they’re almost always the same as mine:D Which state (USA) are you from and what languages do you speak?

Lol, do I really sound American?:D I’m actually from Germany, so German is my mother tongue! Other than that, I consider myself pretty fluent in English (your assumption of me being a native speaker flatters me so much, you have no idea) and I guess my French is decent. I can order food and ask for directions in Spanish (ayyyy) and studied Hindi for two semesters at Uni. Also I’m currently learning Japanese for my degree in Linguistics.

Do you have a favorite anime show? Other than My hero academia of course!

My all time favorite anime is definitely Arslan Senki! Besides that, I also love Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Assassination Classroom, Durarara, Hunter x Hunter and pretty much every existing sports anime (Haikyuu, Kuroko no Basuke, Daiya no Ace, Free!, Yowapedal, Yuri on Ice, Prince of Tennis,.. although Haikyuu is my favorite) I enjoy most genres as long as the plot and characters appeal to me.

Do you read any manga? (also LOVE YOUR BLOG!!<3)

Yeah! I really love manga and I’ve read tons of shoujo when I was younger (I bingeread every night in middle school tbh) Nowadays though, not so much anymore.. It’s not that I came to hate it, I just don’t have as much time unfortunately-.-’ I do read the new Bnha and Haikyuu chapters on a weekly basis, but I can’t manage more than that. I also read yaoi/shounen-ai manga and doujinshi from time to time, but it’s not as much of an obsession as it was a few years ago. However, I own a couple of manga series (Bnha, Haikyuu, Arslan Senki), which I love to reread in my free time😊

hey, we share a love for mirio, so do you maybe have a few anime recommendations, or any good anime you’re watching now?

uhuhuhu birds of a feather flock together;))) Of course I can dish out some recommendations, but I’ll start with what I’m watching atm. I started rewatching Daiya no Ace not so long ago (due to the announcement of Season 4) so I sometimes watch a few episodes of that when I find the time. Also, and this is a recommendation as well, there’s this new track and field anime called Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru (Run with the Wind) coming out every Friday and it’s hilarious. If you like sports anime, you should definitely give it a go! The last anime I’m rewatching right now is Sukitte Ii na yo (Say I love you), cause I’ve been in a shoujo mood lately and after several years I still can’t deal with the cuteness of this show. Now for recs.. this is hard, since everyone has a different taste in series, but other than the shows I’ve named in the “Favorite anime” question, I’d recommend Wotakoi (Wotaku ga Koi no Muzukashii). It’s a very sweet anime about the love stories of otakus, so if you like a good laugh and lots of fluff, this show is for you (11eps). Same goes for Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (12eps + 6 short specials). Shounen-wise I enjoyed for example Noragami, Bleach, Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Magi. Shoujo-wise I can always rewatch Toradora, Kimi ni Todoke and Itazura na Kiss. Sorry for rambling, there are just too many!😅

What pronouns do you use? And what’s you sexual orientation? If the latter question is too personal, just ignore it(/ω＼)

No worries! I use she/her pronouns and I’m pan, slightly favoring men. Probably due to the fact that I’ve only had hetero relationships so far. Though, I really don’t care about my partner’s gender🤷‍♀️

hi, i’ve been going through a rough time lately and your reblogs and memes never fail to make my day. how so you stay positive when things are going downhill? (sorry for the weird ask..)

Your question isn’t weird at all! I’m sorry to hear that you don’t feel well lately and I’m glad my posts are able to cheer you up a bit<3 I, for my part, am a very optimistic person and always try to concentrate on the positive things in my life, but I cannot deny that due to my personal problems I’ve spent many nights sleepless as well. Unfortunately, there’s no recipe for happiness, but here are some things you should always keep in mind should you feel down: Don’t surround yourself with toxic people. Don’t let them in your life and if they already are, either ignore them or cut them off. The latter won’t always work, since the world of adulthood is a cruel place, but try to develop a thick skin and don’t let them abuse the power over you that they don’t actually have. Try to talk with people. I can tell from experience that talking about your problems will almost always make you feel better, or at least lighter afterwards. Think positive. There’s never only black and white, so even if everything seems hopeless or bland, you should never cease to search for the good aspects. An example from me: Uni fucks me up real bad atm. I have six exams and one term paper to write this semester and I’m seriously afraid of failing. I’ve always had insane expectations of myself, because when I was a toddler, my parents found out that I was highly talented and that has been a as much of a curse as it is a blessing throughout my entire life. Whenever something gets too much for me and I end up in a slump, I think about how grateful I am to have so many wonderful friends. I think of all the things I plan to do with the money I earn, such as travelling, buying manga, movies, clothes,.. and even if that might not seem like a trivial matter for some people, I think of all the amazing anime coming out this year: Ice Adolescence, One Punch Man Season 2, Attack on Titan Season 3, Fruits Basket remake, Bnha Season 4, Haikyuu Season 4, Daiya no Ace Season 3.. Why am I naming these? Because they keep me going. They give me something to look forward to. They make me realize that I’m extremely grateful to be alive, because I get to experience these works. I get to discuss my favorite shows with people, who share my interests! I get to scream about Mirio’s bara arms with you guys! If that isn’t something to be cheerful about, I don’t know what is<3

And since I don’t want to end this on a solemn note, here’s a personal favorite of mine:

On a scale from 1-10, how much do you love Mirio?^^

1.000.000 (A million, you get it? wink wonk) Thanks for sticking around! Hope this gave you a little insight on who I am and I’d love to spend 2019 with you as well<3

#we reached 1k i can't believe #have this monster of a post #also this was a lot of fun #milestone!!#sei spills #sei in private

13 notes · View notes

chronikkally · 6 years

Text

THE KH FANDOM IS TOXIC THAT'S WHY...

This is to an artist I wrote an article talking about. Basically a little something about me and pedophilia. She’s 19 or 20 and I don’t like her. I don’t like her or the girl that accused me of being a pedophile over art. But this was so confusing and I didn’t want to argue with someone that young. I’m 21. I should know better but this was another case of Not knowing all the facts.

I will start it off. Like this, this was last year mind you. I have an imvu account. I’m always off and on imvu. Creating an account. Deleting. I actually enjoy that site because of the avatars.

And I started my first time on imvu, when I was in elementry. I think, maybe middle school.

Imvu is a chat website with 3D avatars in a virtual reality. The site is between good and bad. It’s a 50/50 win or lose type of thing. But last year, back when I had my laptop working. I had an account and got back on it. I was bored and I decided to play with this new upgrade to the chat.

It worked like tinder! I wasn’t planning to date anyone because at the time I was in a so called relationship. Previously I was on a dating website, badoo. Bad choice, don’t do it.

This artist on tumblr. Draws Xaldin from Kingdom Hearts with Lexaeus. She’s lesibian. Not important but to me it was and she had the stupidest reason behind this thing I shall explain.

She accused me of fetishizing, an Iranian. So, I’m swiping on these avatars on imvu. And I come across this guy who doesn’t have an avatar, it’s his face and I’m like he’s kinda ugly but his nose is cute. The thing I notice about guys is their nose. Now, I will admit this. Which is accurate.

If there was anything I truly was fetishizing. It was white men! And I still feel bad and no longer like white guys, in a sexual nature, they have weird dicks. Another reminder I am black. POC. Brown. African american. Whatever. I’m a nigga.

At the time when I swiped right on this boy who was 24 on his profile. He’s 25 now. Moments later he sent me a message and I didn’t think anyone would swipe on my card so this was surprising.

I didn’t get on imvu to date because I thought a boy named Tony Holt was my boyfriend. He said he cuffed me and I believed it. I was wrong. He said he liked black girls but in that way, you know actually fetishizing.

He messages me and says, my interest are funny. And I like making people laugh it gives me good vibes. So I say, I try my best. Eventually he invited me into a private chat and I accepted.

I was nervous as hell because like I said imvu is 50/50 you have some really messed up guys on there. And the last time, some really weird and ugly white dude started kissing all over my avatar like no tomorrow asking if I loved him. So this nice man and I’m saying man because he was one. The first thing he said, would you date a Chinese man?

I was so confused and I moved avatar as far from him to simulate this weird behavior. I wasn’t trying to date him. I ask, are you Chinese? He goes, I’m Iranian. Me: Then why did you ask? Him: I was trying to be funny And goddammit if he wasn’t.

I didn’t know he was Iranian. Nor did I care. It wouldn’t have made a difference if he was or not!

What really made me swipe right. Was because in his card he said he wanted an intellectual conversation with someone. Me, I like to talk, that’s all I wanted.

I ended up moving my avatar to the couch in the private chat but there was still space between our avatars.

He introduces himself. I give him my name. He was confused to why I thought, the first thing he wanted to do was date. Because I was away from his avatar. I remembered being a bit mean. He asked, why are you way over there and I snapped and said this is the not too fucking fast position because the last time somebody put me in a private chat THEY ASKED ME RIGHT OFF THE BACK DO I LOVE THEM AFTER KISSING MY AVATAR.

I remember words like, I don’t bite. And not going to lie. I was smiling because it was cute and I was nervous like.

But when I moved my avatar we talked and it was the best shit ever. Realizing I was having a conversation with somebody that knew shit and wasn’t a dumb ass. I was high.

He asked me about the president and his policies and I said something like fuck him. And he’s surprised. He goes, you don’t like your president? I said fuck no!

The conversation is going. I find out he has an illness. I have an illness I asked how he felt in Canada and asked if he faced any decrimination and I really don’t understand why there is a hatred towards middle eastern people. And the last middle eastern that spoke to me was on tinder. I think he said he was Iraqi. And I feel bad for that. I dogde the shit out of Arab men. Out of respect! I would hate to have an Arab boyfriend and both our families are like why you bring an A-RAB home (my dad) and his family is like what the fuck did you bring home?

Because not everyone is open minded to their children dating outside their race. I hold middle eastern men to a high regard. Like respect the shit out of them. By not talking to them in fear I sound like a racist uneducated ghetto mess! It’s like, you’re a smart man please leave a poor black woman to her slave duties, sir. But the one on tinder was confusing like are you here for sex or a date? And I wasn’t into the whole sex thing. So I ducked and dodged. On imvu, I love Capricorns! I don’t know why. He was a Capricorn. And I was all FUCK YEAH. And I had made him laugh talking about dick because dudes send me ugly dick pictures and I lie to them. I said something about black guy’s dicks changing color and he shared a story how a chick he was dating was real conceited.

My favorite thing. We talked. Laughed and joked. Eventually this huge feeling comes over me. And I wanted to really know him. I was interested as fuck. And last time I spoke with him, it was real short. I messaged him on imvu and he was willing but… Ugh I can’t get that back. Even if he changed his relationship status to in a relationship and I was confused as to why. Because I’m a grandma. If you don’t ask me. Nigga I guess you not interested and I don’t play games so…

Tony Holt came back from working on a rig and all hell broke lose. I think I hurt him. He unfriended me and that hurt me. I still like him. But at the same time. I’m confused, I don’t know if it’s pity or that rich Arab hospitality. One of those, Imma be nice but I don’t like you…ANYMORE BECAUSE HE FUCKING CALLED ME DEAR THE SECOND TIME WE CHATTED. And I’m not going to force him to be with me. Never. But my actions hurt. And I don’t want to slip into another relationship now.

If this is about wanting to date outside my race however. That is the stupidest thing. Rihanna is courting a Saudi! Brittany Spears is courted by an IRANI. AND A DAMN KARDASHIAN IS WITH A MIDDLE EASTERN. So two white heterosexual women and one black Caribbean can do it. But my black ass can’t?

I tried to date outside my race multiple times. What I fetishized were white men! And If I was really fetishizing, I would like a fucking middle eastern to message me and curse me the fuck out then some ass kissing self entiled brat. I don’t like her. She’s 19 and full of shit. Talking about, I draw Arabs and write about them.

NIGGA.

I HAVE A SYRAIN MALE CHARACTER WHO HAS SEVERAL BROTHERS. AND A SISTER AND THEN THERE WAS THE TIME I HAD A CHARACTER FROM YEMEN. FICTIONAL CHARACTERS ARE NOT REAL.

THEY DO NOT HOLD THE SAME VALUES AS A TANGIBLE MOTHERFUCKER. I said a Desi/Arabic woman was super fucking beautiful and thick and I don’t know if it was lesbianism or I was jealous as fuck. I had a stroke and she came into my room while I was in recovery and I just lost my damn voice. Plus. Why are you so concerned with what I reblog? I reblogged Arabic men one time. Some of them were shirtless. They looked good. Maybe the reason I did it was inappropriate but they were good looking men! And some were gay asf.

Oh look at this happy gay Arabic couple. They look so comfortable. You see gay men just hug and suddenly get happy? I don’t know why but seeing guys have this. I’m envious. Because I want a dick and hate my vagina. I’m a transexual? I do not care for my lady parts.

Like what ever the argument is… It’s stupid. Your art doesn’t carry the same shit as an actual middle eastern who comes to America or Canada. They out here getting called all sorts of shit.

You draw a hajabi girl and she gets her hajabi ripped off in your fictional world. You don’t go to an actual breathing tangible hajabi girl and try to relate your fictional shit to her actual pain.

A scenario: Hajabi: Some guy snatched my hajab off An artist: Well, my character Shahira Mohammed got her hajab ripped off her head too.

Scenerio two: Black people: I got called a nigger, I’m biracial An artist: I have a character that’s a slave, so I totally understand.

Scenerio three: Jewish people: I was just breathing when somebody threw money at me and called me a Jew face An artist: I totally understand. Yousef was called a Jesus killer in Chapter eight. It hurt so much to write that.

I still like Ahmad. Him being Iranian doesn’t mean shit to me. But I’ll punch a nigga for him. Middle easterners and Jewish people get the dumbest hate. ‘Oh well, middle easterners uh, 9/11’

One person. Not a whole nation.

‘Jews love money’

First off. Don’t be mad at somebody Jewish for getting off their ass and going to work because you sat down and scratched your ass all day. But please tell me I’m fetishizing.

How the fuck is it okay for some goddamn lesibian of 19 fucking years old. Find it remotely acceptable to draw gay fictional characters in yaoi scenerio if yaoi is also the art of hypersexualized homosexuality.

Because if that doesn’t mean the same damn thing then I might have a second goddamn stroke and I don’t want to die. That’s hypocrisy. Lesibians get the fetishizing thing, too when two homosexual girls are caught in public and a heterosexual man comes and sees they wanna instantly have a three way.

But clearly you don’t understand this. And instead you want to focus on POC, like middle easterners can’t speak the fuck up. If I was doing wrong, why the hell didn’t somebody that was Arabic not come and tell me after all the shit I reblogged. Can you please not reblog my shit? Because if they did I would have gotten the fuck rid of it.

But please explain to my black ass once more how I’m wrong. You fucking brat. You wanna act like an adult be prepared to get talk to like one. No one ever comes out when black women get fetishized. But I guess, in the harshes reality.

1) You once upon a time had a crush on some Arab who rejected you and now your gay.

2) You’re low key fucking racist. You looked through my blog on my now deleted account and ignored that I was a POC who went through this bullshit. And everyone can come after me like. Dude chill she’s 19. Fuck off. She’s reaching a new age of 20 no one is holding your fucking hand through life because you can’t face these things. Grow up. You hurt yourself. Which led to this. I’m not going to let some 19 wannabe important child explain to me what fetishizing is!

I told Ahmad about this. He laughed, said it was amusing. Found out he’s short. He has two brothers. Is the middle child. Is a weed smoker. BECAUSE MEDICAL MARIJUANA.

SHUT THE FUCK

#kingdom hearts #accusing #‎thegaleandlance #hypocrisy #fetishism #bullshit

2 notes · View notes