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#thinking about this post again its So good
ladykailitha · 14 hours
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Paper Hearts Part 1
Remember how my posting schedule was going to be based on strictly vibes from now on? Yeah this is why. I have three chapters of this completed and only two of most everything else because I hurt my right wrist on Wednesday evening (I think I overextended my elbow and it fucked up the tendons in my wrist, because I've done that before on my arm and it feels like that).
So instead of getting more work done on stuff that is literally paragraphs away from the end of the chapter I'm having to tap into my backlog. Which is what it's for. But it is annoying.
I am also aware it's nearly May, but my muse was never one for sense.
Summary: Hawkins High is selling paper hearts to help raise for senior prom. $3 for red romantic hearts and $1 for pink friendship hearts. Steve hasn't dated anyone since the horrific breakup with Nancy on Halloween and so he decides that he's going to send pink hearts to senior girls who wouldn't normally get any hearts at all. When Eddie hears about this he can't help be intrigued. It goes against his very well curated Munson Doctrine. But as events keep throwing them together, Eddie learns there is more to King Steve then meets the eye.
Also a note: the use of the other's last name when it's their point of view is deliberate. As they get to know each other more, the more first names get used.
****
Steve was staring at the huge sign with a sense of dread. In big pink and white letters on a red background screamed the words:
PAPER HEARTS FOR YOUR VALENTINE $1 FOR PINK FRIENDSHIP HEARTS $3 FOR RED ROMANTIC HEARTS ALL PROCEEDS GO TO CLASS OF 1985 SENIOR BALL
Valentine’s Day. That time of year for lovers and romantics. That used to be him. But not since Nancy broke his heart by breaking up with him for Jonathan Byers.
There would be no paper hearts in locker this year. Not even pink ones. Nancy had well and truly blown up his life and she got to walk away scott free.
He didn’t know what to do anymore. He pinched his nosed and rubbed the end. He wasn’t going to cry in the middle of the fucking main hall of Hawkins High.
Just before he was about to start moving again someone shoulder checked him, sending back to the floor and all his stuff sprawling around it like some fucked flower.
“Watch it, Harrington!” the voice growled as whoever it was sped off down the hall.
Steve didn’t even bother looking to see who it was. It could have been anyone these days. His former friends. Billy and his ilk. Hell, even the nerds and geeks got in on the action lately.
He knelt down to start cleaning it up when someone else kicked his books toward the lockers. He managed to get most of it picked up when he reached for the last notebook. Someone stepped on his hand and ground down, hurting Steve and ripping the cover off the notebook, crinkling the first couple of pages.
He shoved it into his bag and cradled his hand to his chest. He looked at his watch and sighed. Lunch was nearly over and he hadn’t even made it to the cafeteria yet.
There was nothing for it, he had to get to his next class. He walked into the class room just as the bell rang, but instead of heading for his usual spot near the front he made for the back of the class. There were always a few empty seats around Munson. The guy was terrifying on a good day.
And Steve hoped it was a good day.
****
Eddie made to class on time by the skin of his teeth. He slid through door just as the bell rang above his head. He was about to lope over to his usual spot in the back when he stopped dead in his tracks.
He looked up at the front at the deliberately left open seat and back at the seat next to his with a raised eyebrow. He wisely said nothing as he flopped into the torture device known as the chesk. Dair? Whatever the hell it was called where some unspeakable horror thought to combine a desk and a chair.
Eddie glanced sidelong at his new companion. The recently deposed king of Hawkins High sat slumped in his chesk, head down, just staring at its surface as if held the meaning to life the universe and everything.
Which if Harrington asked him, he would have been told forty-two.
He pulled out his notebook and noticed that Harrington did not do the same. Curiouser and curiouser. He pulled out a pencil and settled in to avoid falling to sleep today.
He was taking notes and doing the assignment like he was supposed to when about half way through class the teacher called out to him.
“Mr. Harrington!” she shrieked. “If you are going to be sitting in the back, please have the decency to pay attention in class!”
A couple of kids snickered.
“You were talking about how the Fool is used to lighten the absolutely horrific scene above him of Lady Macbeth as she tries to get blood out of her gown,” he muttered, scratching his cheek with his left hand.
That was when the teacher and Eddie noticed the same thing at the same time.
Harrington was cradling his right hand to his chest.
“Mr. Harrington is there something wrong with your right hand?”
“I accidentally hurt it during lunch,” he said with wince.
The teacher tapped her foot and crossed her arms. “And why didn’t you see the nurse?”
“It happened right before class,” Harrington muttered, “and I didn’t want to be late.”
The teacher huffed and shook her head. “I will give you note for your next teacher, but you will see the nurse after class, am I understood?”
He nodded.
“Mr. Munson,” she cried out, shrill. “If you’ll share your notes with Mr. Harrington after class so he does not fall behind.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He continued to keep an eye on Harrington throughout the whole class but whenever their English teacher tried to catch him out, she would fail every time.
When the bell rang Eddie started shoving his stuff into his backpack. “You sure you even need my notes, Harrington? That was pretty impressive shit you pulled out of your ass today.”
Harrington just shrugged. “Just because I was paying attention doesn’t mean it won’t bleed out of my ears with all the algebra and chemistry stuff I have later.”
Eddie winced in sympathy. “Yeah, I hear that. What’s your locker number and I’ll just slip a copy of my notes in the slots.”
“323B.”
“They got you on a lower locker?” he asked with a grimace. “That’s jacked up. Even Mr. Super Senior here got a top locker. Does the secretary hate you or some shit?”
Again Harrington shrugged. “I’ve got to go. I’ll catch you later.”
Eddie folded his arms at looked at him. “You’re not going to the nurse’s station, are you?”
This time it was Harrington who winced.
“That’s what I thought,” he huffed. “I’m walking you to said nurse’s station because it could be broken and if you don’t get that looked at, you’ll be in more than just a world of hurt, man. You could fuck up your hand for life and you wouldn’t be able to anything in that hand ever again.”
Steve’s eyes went wide as all color drained from his face.
“Shit.”
Eddie grabbed both of their backpacks and headed for the door. “Yeah, shit.”
Harrington hurried to catch up, hand still cradled to his chest.
“How did you know that could happen to my hand?” he asked softly.
Eddie eyed him sidelong, but the kid wasn’t being an ass. In fact he would say Harrington was being earnest.
“My uncle works at the machinist plant up the road,” Eddie explained. “One of his buddies broke his hand on the machine and refused to get it looked at. Guess how well that worked?”
“Was it the plant’s fault?” Harrington asked. Eddie cocked his head to the side. “That you uncle’s friend got hurt?”
Eddie reared his head back in shock that Harrington would even ask.
“No, man,” he said shaking his head. “He was goofing off, being a dick. Uncle Wayne always said that if you knock on every door asking for the devil, one day he’s gonna answer.”
“What happens when the devil comes looking for you?” Harrington muttered to himself and Eddie couldn’t help but wonder what this kid had seen.
Because he knows haunted. And Harrington looks like he has an attic full of ghosts.
Once they got to the nurse’s station Eddie waited for him. When the other boy came out he asked how it went.
“She says it doesn’t feel broken,” he huffed. “But that if it doesn’t improve over the weekend after icing at least three times a day, to come back on Monday and she’ll order an x-ray.”
Eddie nodded. “Right. See you around, Harrington.”
He had barely turned around when Harrington called out to him. “Wait!”
Eddie turned back around to have a piece of paper shoved into his hand. “I got the nurse to excuse us both.”
And before he could even reply the other boy was tearing off down the hall as if the devil himself was chasing him.
And after that comment he’d heard, Eddie couldn’t be sure he wasn’t.
****
Steve was curled up on his bed, icing his hand, staring up at the ceiling, and wondering where the fuck his life had gone so wrong.
Okay so he could answer that one, actually. Demogorgon ate his girlfriend’s best friend while in his backyard. While him and said girlfriend were having sex for the first time.
Yeah... that was all kinds of fucked up.
He still couldn’t believe that Nancy sided with Jonathan about him taking pictures of their first time.
So now Valentine’s Day was two week away and he was dateless, friendless, and unpopular. He wished he could just be called a loner. But a loner was cool and Steve wasn’t even that anymore.
He just had to make until the end of may and then he could graduate, leaving this town in his rearview mirror for good.
Steve knew that he would have to struggle through this fucking holiday and Senior prom then it would be smooth sailing from there.
He had all this money that he would normally spend on his girlfriends, but now he didn’t even have that. He supposed he could blow it all on beer and weed and then he could enjoy the weekend for a change.
Steve sat up suddenly, the ice pack falling from his hand to hit the floor with sploosh!
Now that was an idea.
He still had one thing in the school that was nonpareil and that was gossip. In fact, it was easier to hear all the dirty little secrets because no one cared if he was standing there.
A smile spread over his face.
That could actually work. It would be a great way to spend his allowance and it would be fun.
He got up and put the ice pack back in the freezer. He couldn’t do anything about it right then but once his hand was better he would formulate his little plan.
Steve was suddenly excited for the first time since he dropped Dustin off at the middle school’s Snow Ball.
He was going to make this holiday fun even if he had to manufacture the fun himself.
****
Eddie was pissed. A little at himself, but mostly at how Harrington was being treated.
He had to sit through lunch and listen a bunch of stupid jocks brag about stomping on Harrington’s hand when he was trying to pick up his stuff off the floor in the hallway yesterday.
They had been hoping for an actual break, but the asshole thought he’d only bruised it.
The reason Eddie was a little mad at himself for this was because he was the one that had shoulder checked Harrington. He had only been trying to get the guy out of his daze. Not send his shit flying.
And then to have someone deliberately stepping on his hand. Fuck. Not even Hagan ever went that far.
Stev–Harrington didn’t deserve that kind of bullying. No one did.
But he could see the twisted sort of appeal, though. And fuck if that didn’t make his stomach turn.
To see the deposed king and want to mock that? Want to dig the hurt in as deep as he could? To drive home the lesson that popularity was fleeting and that existence was a curse?
Yeah, Eddie could see the appeal.
But he wouldn’t. He might make fun of literally everyone and everything but his own interests, but to make turn that into actual cruelty? That was were he drew the line in the sand.
He went home feeling sick to his stomach. And of course Wayne picked up on it immediately.
He jutted his chin at the chicken and rice on Eddie plate that he had only merely pushed around with his fork.
“What’s got you so twisted around the bend?”
Eddie put his fork down and hid his mouth with his clasped hands, elbows on the table.
“I fucked up today,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean for it to go as it did.”
“What did you do?”
So Eddie told him. “I wasn’t trying to hurt him, but he got hurt anyway.”
“That does sound pretty bad,” Wayne agreed. “And as you say, you were trying to help only for it to go very awry. And since you didn’t about it until after the fact you couldn’t apologize and that’s what’s eating you up inside.”
Eddie nodded around his fists, his lower lip quivering.
“You’ll just have to find a way to apologize on Monday,” Wayne said wisely.
Eddie sighed. It was the best he could do. It wasn’t as though he could call the guy up or show up at his house. The first because he didn’t have the guy’s number and the second because he’d get the cops called on him so fast by the neighbors.
It would just have to wait until Monday.
****
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sailor-aviator · 3 days
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Hey.
Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.
So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.
I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.
Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.
I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.
Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.
The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.
How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.
Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.
Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.
Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.
To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.
Nothing but love,
Liz 💛
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aveloka-draws · 2 hours
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Saleos-anon, the one who sent that big essay about Saleos/Kallamar's relationship, here to think about the freak again. Just thinking about the unique position Saleos has watching the Lamb's ascension. Saleos knows that to love a god is tread the inevitable path of giving everything you are to them. Because thats what being devoted to the divine is. Kallamar asked them to plunge that dagger into their chest and that was that. I've no doubt Kallamar probably gave no thought to if Saleos lived or died after that until they reunited. Also considering how Saleos reacted post Lamb learning about Narinder's order to die for their freedom. The way he says "So you didn't know." No idea on whether Saleos knew the specifics, but he KNOWS that to love a god will only end with them demanding everything of you. Because he's living it himself. We see the same thing with Theon and Leshy in that worshiper AU. Cause if I recall correctly, that timeline ultimately ends with Theon being sacrificed to Leshy despite everything they do and the bond they form. Its truly ironic that the thing that makes their relationships possible, the thing that allows them to even EXIST together, is the fact that their gods are mortal now.
Anyways apologies for my second essay your comics and characterizations give me brain worms (I have a tangent about how this affects Narinder's current actions with ascending lamb and how this no doubt warps Shamura even now because that lens is how they've viewed all their personal relationships for aeons but this is long enough as it is.) Keep up the good work! My brain worms need nourishment
🤝Brainworm to brainworm comunication this is so fun im barking at this im
thank u for sharing it hfhdgg
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astrababyy · 17 hours
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i think the thing that frustrates me the most about feyre's character post-acotar — hell, even post-acomaf — is that she stops being a character past that point in the series. acomaf, i can still see elements of feyre's original character, but i think acowar and beyond (especially acofas and acosf) is where her character devolves completely into something virtually unrecognizable. and this, in my opinion, is because once she and rhysand become established in their relationship, her entire characterization starts to revolve around him.
prior to acomaf/acowar, feyre has a personality independent of the relationships she has with other people. her characterization has its flaws, as the first book is flawed as a whole, but she's generally a decently-crafted character. feyre is an interesting character because, in the first portion of the book, we learn that she's a jaded, clever huntress who is willing to kill to survive and make painful decisions for the good of herself and her family. she's bitter, resentful, and miserable, and the crux of her life revolves around survival.
but then we learn new things. feyre loves painting, and if she had a choice, she'd marry off her sisters and live peacefully with her father, spending her days painting anything her heart could desire. she's capable and an able killer, but her dreams and wants are for a peaceful life. these desires are expanded upon later in the book when we learn that, if given the option, feyre wouldn't kill. she's jaded and can come off as someone who'd be a stereotypical "girlboss," badass killer. but in reality, feyre doesn't like bloodshed. she doesn't like killing, and if she had it her way, she'd never kill another living thing again.
this is interesting. acotar!feyre is actually a very interesting and dynamic character when compared to who she becomes in later books. she has an internal conflict that affects every aspect of who she is, and it is this conflict that is so deeply tied to what she's forced to do in the climax of the story: either kill innocent faeries or watch as the love of her life dies before her very eyes. this final trial is so painful because it's been established that, in a peaceful environment, a killer is not someone feyre wants to be, and a killer is instead what she's forced to become.
then, of course, acomaf happens and yada, yada, yada. she's still a relatively interesting character on her own, if (arguably) ooc, but has an independent characterization regardless. it's after this book where things take a turn for the worse.
in acowar, feyre is no longer the character who protects the "little guy" and would give up petty jewels to make sure a faerie can eat. she's no longer the character who acts based on her morals and inherent humanity, rather than faerie logic. instead, she's the character who destabilizes an entire court on the brink of war, uncaring of the consequences to the people of spring. in acofas, she's buying another goddamn house while people in velaris and beyond are struggling to make ends' meet following the war that she and rhys dragged them into. in acosf, she's doing the same fucking thing to nesta that destroyed and traumatized her a few books previous, and she's become the glorified housewife to rhysand. she's having his kid when she's not even 25 yet. she's being paraded around like some prized horse. she's sitting around, painting and decorating houses, while rhys does all the actual politicking. she's exactly what she feared she'd become in acomaf, and there's no consequence whatsoever.
this is not the feyre of acotar. this feyre is the faceless, empty love interest to the real main character: rhysand. she's a reflection of him. that's why she went from the woman who feels uncomfortable wearing fancy jewels to the woman who'd spend her newfound millions on frivolous lingerie rather than do anything meaningful with her position as high lady. that's why she went from the character who had respect and a new understanding of nesta in book 1, to the character that'd do such horrendous things to her in acosf. that's why she stands around and lets rhys and amren bully and degrade nesta. she's not a character anymore. she's just rhysand's mate.
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myechoecho · 1 day
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Queen of Tears really just took a sharp nosedive off a very steep cliff these past 3 episodes. I didn't post anything about the last two episodes since there was nothing to say. I've had issues with some aspects of the drama that I could overlook because Hae In and Hyun Woo were top tier stuff. The break down of a marriage of two people who loved one another finding their way back to each other through medical crisis was so good. It didn't even need the Eun Sung or the family business stuff (it would have made a tighter, more coherent drama but I digress). But the last 3 or so episodes I've lost all patience. We've had:
Hae In's miraculous brain surgery which required no shaving of the hair, which I can overlook because it is a drama. Her memory loss too, as again, it's a drama and it's been hinted at since the beginning. I'm not necessarily thrilled with it but it's fine.
There is no way that Eun Sung would have suddenly become her legal guardian just because Hyun Woo left. It makes NO SENSE. Hae In was clearly there with Hyun Woo. They met with her doctors. There would have been forms and documents signed, with appropriate translators for any language barriers. Eun Sung would not have been able to waltz in and say I am her guardian now. I'm fairly confident of this even without knowing German law.
Hae In's family had people in Germany following her for...reasons??? They did nothing to protect her from Eun Sung? They didn't go to her when Hyun Woo was carted off? To be fair I was kinda fast forwarding part so maybe I missed something.
Hyun Woo's arrest, extradition back to South Korea, finding the evidence to break his case, trail, release and then arrest of the real perpetrator all took place within a month. Which seems absurdly fast. Also they found and arrested the hired hit man but not who hired him??
Hae In is following Hyun Woo, taking notes to figure stuff out for herself yet does not think to look herself up on the internet? Pretty sure there would have been articles about her saying Eun Sung threatened her?
I generally forgive the burned notebook finding its way back to her.
Also, Hyun Woo's sister is married? With a kid? Living overseas?? and we find this out in ep 13 or 14? No pictures of her kid anywhere?? No phone call?
Hyun Woon has been hit by car, by Eun Sung because of course that happened. At least he won't get amnesia, right? RIGHT?
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What a mess.
I still stand by the core story of Hyun Woo and Hae In being the strongest parts, even within the past 3 episodes.
How much do you want to bet they are not even going to address the miscarriage, which was catalyst for their whole marriage falling apart in the final episode. Despite the 1031 being used for pass codes. I've been wanting that from when we found out and it looks like it won't happen. Who knows if Hae In will even get her memory back.
The preview for the final episode doesn't give me much hope, even if we get a nearly 2 hr final episode like Crash Landing on You.
So much wasted potential in the drama. If only they had focused on Hae In and Hyun Woo, and not 20+ other plots.
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euphorianz · 12 hours
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Hi! Can you do a anthony bridgerton being obsessed with a reader who doesnt want anything to do with him and rejects him all the time?
Thank u!
(in read your colin one, he is not really my man but your writing is just marvelous! If you decide to do this im so excited to read it!! If you dont its ok, no pressure!)
❥Anthony Bridgerton as a obsessed partner
pairing_ Anthony x reader
Possible triggers_ yandere/dark content, forced affection, mentions of yelling, toxic relationships, Anthony being a total jerk, unwilling reader
a/n_ hiii, thanks so much for your interest! I hope this fic is good and is exactly what you wanted <3 like I said in my last post feedback is welcome and requests!
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-unlike his brother Colin, he is fully aware of what he’s doing and he doesn’t care. He has an “eye on the prize” mentality and has no intention of straying from his goal (you).In a way this is all a game to him, and he has no plans of losing.
-Anthony is controlling/ intense. He desires nothing more for you to be his, and only his. He is not afraid to fight when it comes to you, and will gladly knock a man out for even looking at you. Intimidation tactics are common. Expect to see Anthony randomly showing up at your home or anywhere else you might be. Wether you like him or not he wants everyone to believe the two of you are together. He’s the first one to come up to you at a ball and he makes sure he’s the only one. He doesn’t care if you say no. On top of being controlling he can also be jealous, so expect to be pressed with questions like, “who were you with?!” “What is his name?!” “Do you honestly think he can provide better than me?”
-he has no problem taking full advantage as his role as “viscount” when it comes to you (and your family). He’ll use his influence to gain your family’s favor and your hand. Although meeting through friendship is possible, your mostly likely to catch his eye at a ball than anything. Like his brother the marriage will be swift. Everyone in the ton will be invited to witness your union wether you like it or not. He knows that you don’t hold the same affection for him, so he hopes the tons presence will keep you in check.
-once the two of you are married he doesn’t tolerate any kind of outburst, especially near his family. He cares deeply about them, and the thought of you speaking ill of him or your relationship fills him with rage. So he’ll make a point to be by your side until he can fully trust you. Family participation is a must, especially when it comes to family games. He wants you by his side and happy, but if you can’t be he’s willing to force it.
-if you manage to tell your in-laws about Anthony’s extreme behavior or beg them to help you get out of the marriage, there’s little chance you’ll get the help that you want. Anthony will be quick to take hold of the situation and reassure them that there’s nothing wrong then punish you accordingly. Like his brother he doesn’t like to see you in pain, but he’s not afraid to inflict it.
-like his brother he wants a lot of kids and he expects you to feel the same. If you don’t he’ll just say, “you don’t actually feel that way my love. You’ll come around eventually.” Again family is important to him, so you will eventually have children wether you like it or not.
-Anthony at times can have a short temper, especially when you push him away. He’ll yell and scream demanding “why you don’t love him”. After his outburst and if your upset he’ll be quick to comfort you and apologize, “I’m sorry.. I never mean to upset you.” He can have his tender moments.
-like the rest of his family divorce is not an option and bringing it up will only lead to more problems for you. Same goes for attempting to leave him. He doesn’t know what to do with himself or you at that point, and his desperation will only lead to fueling his obsession with you.
-he’s your husband and you’re his wife. It doesn’t matter how much you fight him or deny his affection that fact will remain. “Wether you acknowledge it or not, your are only for my eyes to witness. So there’s no use in fighting what’s already been vowed.”
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watcherthrowaway · 3 days
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also one real post about this and like, plenty of ink has been spilt on how disconnected watcher entertainment seems to be from its fans but i think the missing piece here is how disconnected watcher is from the rest of youtube. when the catastrophe hit i went to all my terminally online friends, the same way i did after the hbomberguy james somerton video, or after the ned fulmer fiasco, or the creepshowart scandal etc, or every time jenny nicholson dropped a new evermore video, including the ones behind the $2 patreon paywall we all gladly pay for, and for the first time...
no one knew who i was talking about.
these are not insulated people. these are people i can trust to have at least name recognition of almost any youtuber i mention. they know downtherabbithole and strangeaeons and cjthex and kappakaiju and miniminuteman773 and kazrowe and somemorenews etc etc etc
so when i put in the group chat, with no context, 'he wasnt even on cribs' or 'we have no cats kathleen' or 'only humble pagan commune schemes' or whatever, i usually do so with great trust that at least half the group will know what im on about.
this time, crickets.
i backpedaled a little and pulled up the 'ive connected them' meme and the fuzzy blue professor, and i got nothing at all. the only recognition i got was when someone belatedly realized that he had seen the goatman video when it dropped (although he had no idea that they had their own company now), and another person remembered that they had offered to collab with danny gonzalez, a youtuber with twice the subscribers
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because she had checked back to see if danny went ghost hunting again, and lost interest because he hadnt.
i also brought it up in my dedicated buzzfeed unsolved group chat but ummmmm i am the only one in that group still watching ever since the shift to watcher oops
the only splash they had made in my again, TERMINALLY ONLINE friend group that watches hours and hours of youtube a day was a buzzfeed video seven years ago, and when they had failed to collab with someone more famous than them. i found myself in the unusual position of having to explain the situation to a bunch of dirty internet gremlins, all of whom heard the whole story and said 'why would they do that'
not 'why would they do that to their fans' but 'why would they do that as youtubers'
even aside from the moneygrubbing, we watcher stans were confused about why they tried to offer us a service we didn't need or want, and i think it obscured the confusion on why they thought it was a good idea at all, when so many other models were available to them. why werent they using their patreon like other youtubers? why weren't they collaborating with other youtubers? why weren't they putting out regular, lower quality content like other youtubers? if they wanted higher quality content, why weren't they partnering with nebula, like lindsay ellis, or netflix, like bo burnham. why didn't they run their ideas past someone like the green brothers, who have jumpstarted scishow and many other similar projects successfully, and are famously good to work with/consult with? why would they try to pull a roosterteeth? don't they know what happened?
and i think the answer is no. i think they just don't know those things. and they didnt bother to check, because they think all those things are beneath them. because they think corporate content is the only worthwhile kind there is.
why else would they think they have to have an office building, keep dozens of people on staff, buy expensive cameras, and build a streaming platform? why do they only collaborate with actors and singers who have corporate entertainment approval? why are they reinventing the wheel on buzzfeed when thousands of youtubers build perfectly stable careers with a mic and a camera, and sometimes hire an editor?
i guess my takeaway from this is that, at least they didnt break my heart as a fan entirely because they fundamentally misunderstood me. they did it, at least in part, because they do not understand how youtube works, or what part they play in it.
they dont understand how people use youtube. it is not a cinematic event worthy of the big tv, it is line goes up playing in the background for the 400th time as i wash my face and put my laundry away.
that is why they spent months and months planning this without ever noticing it was a bad idea, while millions of youtube viewers knew instantly. thats why they didn't start with a more moderate solution, why they never used their patreon properly, why they cared so much about the production value, why they thought a youtube audience, any audience at all, would jump at the chance to leave youtube.
bc youtube as a creator sucks, and we all know that, but youtube as a viewer is extremely comfortable. all i ask of youtube is to be mildly interesting in the background while i do other stuff. it is filler. some of the filler is extremely good, yes, but there is no room or reason in my life to give more of my money and attention to my filler, let alone to get a bigger screen for it.
and honestly, this is why i and others stayed on with the ghoul boys even though their quality dropped. because it's filler. im not even looking at the screen you apparently spent 100k on. im flipping my eggs. im washing my hair. im waiting for the bus with my headphones in and my phone in my pocket. thank you for being my background music. in return i will sit through your ads and push your view counter up by one. i may even hit the like button by accident bc my phone is in my pocket.
this is not to say i dont enjoy my filler. i would absolutely die without it. but it is not and never will be exchanged for the instances when i make popcorn in The Big Bowl and turn on a Real Movie on the Big Screen (my old laptop that is 15 whole inches) with my phone turned over so nothing can distract me.
my filler can't be my movie, and vice versa. nor should it be. but watcher doesnt understand that, apparently. they think youtube is cruelly preventing them from being netflix, and they think we want netflix, and they don't understand that, even with that half-assed apology that they didn't explain their dream correctly and they are jsut so destitute they had to take extreme measures after they went to europe 6 too many times...
there is a fundamental misunderstanding about how people use youtube , both as creators and as consumers. they didn't just misunderstand their fanbase. they continue to misunderstand the entire ecosystem. idk guys. maybe you should have learned something from those youtubers that you apparently think you are too good for.
and as for me, welp. i've booted people from my filler line-up for less. and there are soooooooooooooo many other fish in the sea, and they are not asking me to pay them 27 corporation salaries from my own pocket. they are asking for me to bump their view counter up by one.
goodbye boys. i really hope you find a way to fulfill yourselves artistically or whatever. but you have burned this particular bridge, like. forever. and i don't think i'm the only one who feels that way.
and not because i dont support people getting a living wage, you guilt-tripping vultures, or because i dont believe in following dreams and wishing on stars and whatnot.
but because i prefer to consume content from people who know what they're doing, and i simply no longer trust that includes you.
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yesimwriting · 8 hours
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we need more felix and lovie content i miss themmm
i miss them too,, i have so many drafts and half finished fics with them but i've had so little energy/time to actually finish any of them bc of finals
but i'm pretty caught up with school rn (by tuesday i'll be on summer break!!) so here's a bit of an i'm-sorry-for-being-absent drabble :)
The nail of your thumb drags against the edge of the page, finally getting the glue to fully adhere to the page.
You press your back against the wood surface of your desk chair to admire your handiwork. The background of your latest scrapbook page has come together just the way you wanted it to. You pick up the book carefully before turning your body.
"Lex," you beam.
Felix doesn't sit up fully, but he does lift his head. The arm holding up his copy of the latest Harry Potter relaxing. "Oh," he mumbles it in that way that reminds you of one of the things you like best about him. He has this talent for giving attention. Where other people would just be polite without a second thought, Felix takes the time to really look before commending.
He pushes himself up in a way that awkwardly squishes your pillow. "That's good." Felix straightens, legs crossing beneath him. "That's really good, Lovie." His thumb tucks itself between the pages of his book, a make shift bookmark. "The edges, the paper..."
"Thank you." Another thing you love about Felix is the fact that you can always tell he means his praise. You turn forward, setting your scrapbook back onto your desk. "You should make one."
The corner of his mouth pulls itself into a version of a smile that's so soft you almost miss it. "Yeah?" You nod. Felix's smile shifts into something more assured. "Maybe tomorrow night."
You try to picture Felix spending a Saturday night in either your room or his, cutting up scraps of paper and gluing them down instead of at a bar or some party. The thought makes your feel warm in that way that's so exclusively Felix. It also feels blurry, intangible in its unlikeliness.
As happy as it'd make you, tonight was already surprising enough. It's not like Felix goes out every night, and this isn't the first time the two of you have stayed in on a Friday, but nights like these are rare. You can't picture two of these in a row.
"Tomorrow?" You pull your legs out from under your desk, entire body angling itself to the side so that it's easier to look at him. "Tomorrow's Saturday."
He lets out a partial laugh. "And you're dying for a rager?"
"No," you mumble, dragging out the vowel sound in an attempt to sound more sarcastic. "But you like going out." You lean forward, resting your chin against the chair's back. "And it's not like I hate going out, especially with you..." You trail off, eyes shifting away from Felix and towards the bed post closest to you. "And I don't want to be the reason you don't do things you like."
For a beat, the only sound is the low, rhythmic tapping of Felix's pointer finger against the spine of his book. "I like a lot of things."
You lift your head. "I know."
"I like doing things with you."
The warmth comes back with a vengeance. You tap your thumb against the side of your seat for the sake of doing something. "Me too."
Felix shifts, extending one leg to make himself more comfortable. "Good." He's so quiet for a second, you almost think that might be the end of the conversation. You're about to go back to picking out the pictures to finish off the page you'd been working on when he starts again, "So you don't need to worry about me resenting you."
Your eyes narrow. "I didn't say anything about you resenting me." Your chin lifts slightly, an attempt at displaying your indignation. "Why are you saying it like that was an option?"
He grins, dropping himself back onto your pillow. "No reason."
You roll your eyes at his sarcasm. He's the one that came over to your room without being asked to. "Sure."
"What?" His tone implies nothing but perfect innocence. He picks up his book, opening it as if he's done nothing wrong. "Y'should come over here before the resentment sets in and I lose all interest."
You let out a loud sigh, but move to stand regardless. "Yeah, that feels like a real possibility."
When you don't move, Felix glances away from his book. "You're not gonna come over here?" He looks up at you, a hint of a pout playing at his expression. "I was kidding."
You cross your arms, fighting against a smile. "I just stood up." That's not enough to convince him to stop looking at you like that. You take a few steps forward with a sigh that's more out of habit than anything else. "You are so dramatic."
You sit on your bed, crossing your legs beneath you. Felix shifts onto his side. His freehand finds your knee. "You cried because of this book."
Eyes narrowing, you lean forward to get a better sense of how far into the book he's gotten. "Wait a few chapters."
Felix snaps his head in your direction, "Lovie. You said you wouldn't--" Your sentence runs into his, "I didn't--I didn't spoil it."
He frowns, watching you skeptically. "That was mean."
"You started it." You're aware that you sound like a little kid, but you can't help it. With a sigh, you give up, laying down. He's taking up most of your bed, but you're far from uncomfortable. "Fine. I'm sorry."
With little warning, Felix leans forward and presses a kiss against your temple. "Want me to read to you?"
You're used to Felix's random displays of affection, but every once in awhile something will take you by so much surprise you feel it more than you should. You blink. "Yeah," you mumble, hoping that your voice comes out even, "Sounds nice."
Felix shifts onto his back, one hand finding your arm and the other holding his book.
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taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny @lilyrachelcassidy @khxna @imbabycowboy
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sonkitty · 1 day
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Crowley S2 Hair Post #22
(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)
Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 1, The Clue, so were the goats
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Hairstyle Notes
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The red hair is not as fluffy and a little longer compared to the earlier minisode portion that started off the episode.
This style is what most closely resembles a "human" reading with short sideburns from the season 2 present day. Crowley is with two humans and no supernatural beings. The humans assume he is human during the scene.
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Even though it's the accessory on the head, even the headband itself changed with its appearance in the back. While that looks to be a continuity issue, it's good to keep in mind that Crowley can control his own appearance so is likely mixing this headband appearance with the reading from the space.
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Earthly Objects
(For reference: Earthly Objects)
Job sits on the ground against some rocks. Sitis touches her own clothing.
Crowley likely receives credit for a miracle touch on a human when he says, "You tell me," and hisses at Sitis. This action looks like compelling someone for an answer though that answer is something Sitis herself decides. The name, "Bildad the Shuhite" is then said.
That name is his alias for these two. It's a human name from the Book of Job itself, and it's going to be reused later when he has this same hairstyle. While these circumstances are understandable in the context they happen, it's also a clue about the potential rule that Crowley isn't allowed to say his own name for any time period during the entirety of Good Omens 2.
Crowley has several questions when first talking to Job. Job says Sitis' name. They both say "God," in a way that I think qualifies as a name.
It's hard to really see much in the way of pockets. Everyone's separated and contained in their own cuts for most of the scene.
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While Job and Sitis occasionally make pockets, those pockets are small and hard to notice to begin with. Their thumb joints do suspiciously align with edges of their clothing at times even though the Tied Hands aren't around.
Crowley's headband is like his substitute Belt Head at least. Sitis also wears something over her head.
Crowley still has the threads on his robe making pockets over his chest for where his Tied Hands would be.
When Crowley turns to show his back to the camera, then shows his front again, he does receive some extra lighting over the part of his chest exposed, before his beard covers it. He receives lighting generally in that area sometimes, and it's where the upper portion of his Tied Hands would be in the present day.
There's one cut with Job on the ground and Crowley standing, so a pocket generally exists between them though it doesn't seem to do anything special. There's another cut with Sitis pocketed between Job still sitting and Crowley still standing. Again, it doesn't seem to do anything special either.
For my tangential reading in my desperate attempt to improve my play, I finished The Sandman Volume 3. I'm still re-reading the Good Omens book.
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Story Commentary
From the last scene, the story greatly implied that this part of the minisode is from Crowley's point of view. Aziraphale isn't around, and Crowley himself received stronger focus from the camera work.
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When Crowley is talking to Job, the lighting on him is darker and favors his left.
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When Sitis arrives, the lighting shifts. It then favors Crowley's right. With more light on him, his hair looks more red. After that, the hair generally stays as more red and favoring his right, regardless of the camera angle.
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In trying to study the space and understand what's happening with the hair, the camera work ensures it is known that the space still has a roof—or at least roof edges—of a human-built structure, even if it is damaged and with an open threshold. Light pours in, presumably from that damage.
Crowley is not giving off the impression of someone secretly trying to save goats and children here. Without knowing how the minisode ends, the goats seem "destroyed", and now he's after the children.
Things don't look good. Well, things don't look good for people like Job, Sitis, and Aziraphale. Hell would be rather pleased.
Crowley expects Job to be furious with God and says so.
But Job isn't furious with God. He's furious with himself.
Then comes the main hint of Crowley's sympathy from the questions, "Yourself? Why, what have you done?" Then he looked like he wanted to say something more to Job's answer, but they were interrupted with Sitis' arrival.
We'll get a glimpse of Crowley's real scheme for this minisode in the next scene.
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That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.
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Before the next post in this series, I am going to take some time to review things for The Pocket Trick that I'm hopefully starting to piece together and may update the main Sideburns Scheme post as well.
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Main post:
The Sideburns Scheme
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little rant type shit about azzi and paiges current and kinda future media presences
i think azzis reposts are like her way of letting people know shes gonan be okay without having to be actually present and ibteractive on socials. she was literallt just comibg back from her drought/break/pause (wtvr u wanna call it) and likely wont post for a while because dawg camp and the draft content was like the most we’ve had from azzi in so long. i think shes probably doing alright considering the amount of support shes surrounded by and honestly she didnt really seem like in any hurry to suddenly become active like an instant unpause after not beibg active for so long, like i dont rlly think her being “on a break” was all that deep she was probably convinced to post but didnt really seriously care to upkeep not postibg in the first place so itd be practically no change in her lifestyle to go back to not posting i dont think she was like resisting the urge to post or anything. specifically now post-situation it might not be “i dont psot often but i sometines do wheneveb i feel like it” instead she might purposely stay away and actually jsut take time away from media focus for a little and we’ll get like a crumb once and a while.
and i think paige being active rn is a mix of moving on from the incident and also the fact that the season is over and shes back on media and does like beibg on it like for example on lives and stuff. i feel like shes trying to show that shes moving past it as well as not letting it effect or stop doing what she enjoys. i also think that if paige had gone media silent after what happened it mightve brought even more attention to it with people speculating the effects it had or twitter running wild as it always does. i think her vague-ish thanking for support tweet near when it happened was good because it further fueled people who had been covering the timeline and helped speed up efforts to get tweets taken down but didnt actively add crap tons of spotlight on it. plus her normally posting and tweeting helps spread around what people are focusing on when she appears or if shes mentioned and it js moves the crowd on. we also know shes been described as/has said about herself that shes the type to put on a strong front in stressing times so even if shes beibg active on media and seemingly doing alright she could be doing it for all the reasons i just mentioned about moving the public on (like damage control/reputation padding) and still be literallt depressed behind the scenes and js doing it bc she feels she has to. either way we have no way of knowing whats actually happening and we will probably never know, i can only guess abd assume just as much as everyone else, i could be insanely far off or completely spot on, even if it doesnt match how any of us assume or imagine her acting just remember that we literally do not know any of these people!
i hope things settle and we can see them together again i dont think the situation would have effected their relationship with eachother theyre like ride or die and its not like its their fault it happened. obviously no one wouldvt wanted it to happen but i like to think that behibd the scenes theyre supporting eachother or they could be givibg eachother space but all n all i dont see this being the reason they suddenly drop eachother and i have ful lconfidence theyll come out the other end still side by side.
if anyone has any thoughts or responses feel free to add on or share or if i left smth out or got smth wrong feel free to correct me bc its literallt 6:30 am rn and im suppsoed to be awake in less than 2 hours 🤣🥲
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out of curiosity what's the moment being a hardcore Ruben stan really clicked for you
Really good question, thank you for asking.
I enjoyed when he was onscreen, even on first watch, but that's not exceptional. Brennan does great voices etc, he's a very funny presence, but all this can apply to Gertie, or a billion other NPCs. His art is so huggable, but that wouldn't be it on its own.
He kept growing on me slowly every time I went back through scenes to fact check and he was there. Even when we actually had the episode where we found out about Jace's involvement in his life and the confrontation with Henry, I got more engaged with his character but I wouldn't say I reached my full tipping point quite yet.
But what happened was, there were a couple posts where people thought it might be a trick, and that Henry was being inappropriate. Jace snapped because he was under stress, but ultimately he wasn't wrong in telling Henry to butt out, kind of thing.
I don't want to shame anyone for having that idea, it's a mystery season and I think it's normal and fine to reach for possibilities that stretch what's likely sometimes. But ya know, I went back through the scene to double-check my memories, and get the quote about Jace saying that he didn't even read all of Henry's concerns. (Which I feel like made Jace pretty clearly Wrong in that scene, even if he had turned out to just be a shitty teacher/administrator and not Ankarna-connected.)
And as I was again going back through his scenes and he kept growing on me, I was making more posts about him and realizing how few other people were posting about him in the tag. I got to thinking about it, like
"well hang on, we have this character with a great design. he's presented a lot like the emo equivalent of Zayn's caricature of gothness in season one. they've already investigated and found out he doesn't have a history of being toxic to anyone even though he's famous now and has the opportunities. and we just got huge evidence that the 'maybe some of the RGs are being manipulated and actually fine' that people wanted for Oisin in particular might actually be true for him."
and my first instinct was to check myself and go like "well remember just bc you're super invested in small NPCs doesn't mean anyone else would be, he's actually very minor and has little screentime-HANG ON A MINUTE. he's had more screentime than any other Rat Grinder! So then why-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" And idk something about this kid who had more people going "maybe his uncle is evil for trying to protect him" than "oh damn we just found out he needs to be protected" made me go you know what. if nobody else is gonna take this corner of fandom than somebody gotta
And I rolled up my sleeves.
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rehfan · 1 day
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La Belle Dame avec Merci: Chapter 7 - Showdown at the Pit
Eddie Munson x Unpopular!AFAB!fem!Reader
Warnings: 18+ readers only please - minor children DNI! – No Upsidedown; reader is technically a virgin; mutual pining; Eddie has trust issues; emotional hurt/comfort; female masturbation; male masturbation; emotional manipulation; reader is kinda shitty to Eddie; reader gets better; angst; more angst; Eddie’s mom is dead; small act of accidental physical violence; Uncle Wayne is the best; Gareth is not; fistfight; nipple play; angst angst and more angst
Tagged: @bluestuesday / @ali-r3n / @winchester-angel / @iletmytittiestitty-russ / @mewchiili / @chaoticgood-munson / @welcometohellsock / 
DO NOT POST TO ANY OTHER SITE. My words are mine and mine alone.
Inspired by @/hard-candy-writing ‘s ORIGINAL POST
MASTERPOST LINK – AO3 LINK
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Eddie felt a tad guilty when you handed over the cash from your purse and he gathered the pizza and the six-pack of soda. He’s meant to be the one who should treat you. But you explained that this was your idea and therefore your treat and he couldn’t really argue with you; the look you gave him was enough to let him know that. He had grinned at you, shyly. He sorta liked it when you were a little bossy.
You wound up back at the quarry, in his van, the vehicle backed up to face the water and the back doors open to the night. There were several blankets in the back. As he tucked one around your legs and made sure you were comfortable, Eddie explained they usually had them to wrap up the band’s equipment every week to play over at the Hideout. As you ate and drank, you talked about music and his dreams for the future. You talked about what you want to do. There are cities you’d both like to see, places you’d both like to go. You talked about life, your childhoods. Eddie skirted around his mother, but you didn’t push. Some things could wait.
The pizza was done and your tongues were tired. You sat side-by-side and watched the dark water shift in the breeze. His warm fingertips brushed your left palm, tracing fire on the surface of your skin. “Can we do this again?” he asked softly.
“Of course,” you replied.
“And what about Monday?”
“What do you mean?” you asked.
Eddie shrugged. “Seems to me with nothing on the line, with this just being about us, that you might not be so willing to have all the PDA anymore.” He gave you a curious look. “You still want to meet me at your locker or me at yours? In the hallways for everyone to see? Or… is this just between us?”
“You think I’d be ashamed to be with you,” you said, “if it wasn’t fake. If we couldn't hide from everyone else. You think that I'd hide you away like some filthy secret.”
Eddie nodded and didn’t meet your eyes. Well, tonight was almost perfect, but he should have known better. He awaited the death blow with his hands gripping the van on either side of his thighs, eyes shut. Your chilled fingertips were on his chin, guiding his face back toward yours. “Why would I turn you away? Why wouldn't I be proud as hell to be with you?”
Eddie huffed a cynical laugh. “I guess we’ll just have to see.” His gaze fell to the water again.
You watched him, carefully, head tilting over toward him to catch his eyes. “You doubt me.”
“No offense, sweetheart, but I doubt every good thing that comes my way,” he said, swallowing past a lump in his throat.
“And why is that?” you asked. Your hand traveled up the inside of his forearm, icy fire left in its wake. He suppressed a shiver but it translated as a stiffening of his whole body and you took it as him defending himself, blocking you from learning more. You took your hand away. “I’m sorry,” you said, “I didn’t mean to push too far.”
“It’s not that,” he said, searching desperately to explain himself without actually explaining himself. He couldn't. “Your hands are freezing, girl. Come here.” He spread out two or three blankets in layers and held out a hand for you to come sit. You obliged and settled yourself further into the van. He covered your legs up with another blanket and moved to close the van’s back doors.
He was so attentive, all you could do was shake your head. You hadn’t complained of the cold, but he protected you from it all the same. He really did have a heart of gold. 
As he settled down next to you in the dark, asking you if you were warm enough, you answered him by scooting closer to him and brushing the hair away from his cheek and kissing him there. “I’m fine now. Thank you. I didn’t want to be a bother.”
He could feel his cheek burn from the kiss you had planted there. It was not his way to get his hopes up over any girl. He shifted the pizza box and the remnants of the six pack of sodas more toward the back of the driver’s seat and cleared his throat. “You’re no trouble,” he said while facing away from you. Job done, he had no choice but to settle back down next to you. Casually, he draped an arm over your shoulders with a confidence that he did not feel. As a matter of fact, you had managed to rob all his bravado from him with that one simple peck on the cheek. It had unknowingly contained just enough intimacy and tenderness to crack his resolve once again. 
There was a silence that swallowed you both in the darkness of the van.
“Thanks for the blankets.” Your voice was loud in the small quiet.
“Yeah, I mean, I'd turn the van's heater on, but it's pretty shitty,” he said. “But the blankets work well. And we have plenty, so may as well put ‘em to good use.”
“Right.”
Silence again. The weight of it pulled at you both. For lack of anything better to do, you leaned in against his chest, pressing your cheek to the cold of his jacket, feeling it slowly warm.
He chuckled softly, “You really like me, huh?”
You hummed in the affirmative. “Afraid I’m pretty stuck on you, Munson.”
He huffed another laugh and dumbly stared into the darkness. He idly ran his hand over your upper arm and shoulder and mulled over what he had done to make you so damn happy. He had spent this week dreading your presence and wishing he didn’t feel used. He’s spent the rest of the week being angry at you. He couldn’t fathom it; what the hell was so attractive about that?
“And,” you began again slowly, your voice a shy whisper, “if I’m honest, I’ve been looking forward to seeing you this whole week and you haven’t been around for a chunk of it. Would you like to make it up to me?”
He looked at you with a curious sideways glance that made you melt. His eyes were devastating at the best of times; now, in the dark, they carried their own mesmerizing sparkle; they were temptation itself. 
You brought your hand up and cupped his face. He moved his head downward and you nuzzled next to his ear and kissed the shell of it. Moving south, you pressed your lips to the corner of his jaw. With each kiss, he leaned bit by bit more toward you until, finally, you reached his pulse point where he closed his eyes and audibly moaned.
You were wet instantly. Slowly, you brought your head around, tracing the tip of your nose along his jawline and captured his mouth in a slow, lingering kiss. You felt his opposite hand warm on your waist as his other brought you closer to him. “You want to be my girl, princess?” he managed, his voice breathless. You nodded, your glassy-eyed look meeting his.
He went to raise his hand from your waist to your face and brushed your breast on the way. Instantly, Eddie apologized, blushing profusely. “God, I’m sorry. I, uh, I didn’t mean to— I swear.”
Smiling, you unbuttoned your coat, bringing it down off your arms and exposing your simple scoop-neck blouse. You then took his offending hand, palm up, and kissed it, slow and warm. You met his amazed eyes and said, “It’s okay. I didn’t mind,” while boldly placing his hand directly over your breast, your invitation clear.
The breath left Eddie’s body. His cock twitched.
You pulled him gently toward you by the collar of his jacket. “Come here, sweet boy.” You were kissing him before he was aware of what was happening. He didn’t remember drifting back toward you. He didn’t remember your breath on his face as you hovered near before taking his lips. He didn’t remember the searching gaze you gave him seconds before your lips met. All he was aware of was your velvet tongue against his and how soft your breast was under his hand. He squeezed it carefully and you moaned into him. It didn’t take him long to locate your pebbled nipple under the layers of clothing and he kneaded the tissue there, glorying in the lascivious sounds that came from you with every movement. Sounds that he and only he was pulling from you. Him. Eddie Munson. The Freak.
You parted to catch your breath. Suddenly, you were wearing far too many clothes for Eddie’s liking. But he didn’t dare ask you. What you were giving him was miracle enough. He watched his hand as it worked your tit, fascinated by how you closed your eyes, lost to his touch. Your hand covered his. “Need more, Ed.” Jesus, you were whining.
“What do you want, babygirl?” he asked. “Tell me.”
“Need you—“ you began. Suddenly you were too shy to say it out loud. His eyes were intense on you, glistening in what little moonlight reached where you were in the van. “I, uh…”
He bent in slowly and kissed you again, his thumb idly passing over your erect nipple back and forth soothingly. “Come on, angel. You can tell me.” His words whispered over the skin of your jawline and neck where he peppered tender kisses as he moved toward your collarbone.
Eddie didn’t know what you needed, but he knew you had limits. Every person had. He bided his time enjoying the feel, smell, and taste of you while waiting for you to find your voice. He didn’t dare go beyond where you had shown him he could go. He didn’t want to break the spell, ruin the good thing that was finally happening to him. All he could do was coax you out of your shell a bit and make you feel good.
As the tip of his cold nose traced circles on your skin, you closed your eyes and found some courage. “Need you to suck on my tits, Eddie. Please. Need to feel your mouth there.”
Another verbal gut-punch. He huffed a shuddering breath on your skin. His fingers found your blouse at your waistline and pulled the material up and off of you. He watched as you unhooked your bra from behind your body and it dropped down and away in the darkness. He told you to lie down as you shivered, but not from the cold. Eddie's look did that. The blankets were cool beneath you but you barely noticed; Eddie was too beautiful hovering above you. 
His dark eyes were roving all over you, luscious mouth slightly open, hair framing his gorgeous face. “You are so fucking beautiful,” he said, adding your name with a reverence that moved something deep in your soul. Slowly, carefully, watching you for any sign of objection, he slid a hand up your waist to your breast, once again cupping your flesh but with no barrier to prevent the play of the skin under his pressure, your nipple hard and erect not just from the cold, but because of the boy who was looking at you as if you created the universe.
As he ducked down, his hair tickled your skin. His breath on you was a thrilling sensation you weren’t expecting and your breath stuttered. He stopped short. “You okay? You want this, right?”
“I do, Eddie. I really really do. Please.” Your hands were in his hair and you pressed his head gently downward toward you.
Your back arched of its own accord as the heat of him found your skin. Your responsiveness was unreal. Eddie rolled the pebble of your nipple around and over his tongue, alternating suckling and licking, playing with what worked for you and when he found something you really reacted to, he happily came back to that time and time and time again.
He pulled off your nipple and blew air over it before turning to you. “How’s that, beautiful?”
“Mmmore,” you begged him through slitted eyes. “More baby, please.”
Baby? Jesus. And that whine of yours would be the death of him.
BANG! BANG! BANG! “Hey Munson! You in there?!”
The noise caused both of you to yelp and both of you to frantically cover your nakedness up. You had no idea who it was, but you prayed they hadn’t peeked into the back windows while the two of you were preoccupied. The blush on your face could probably be seen from space.
For his part, Eddie was in a straight-up panic - but only at first. Then, he was angry. “You fucks,” he muttered, running a hand down his face. “Of course.”
“Eddie!” another voice came from the side door as more blows fell. A slight shadow passed over the front windshield. Another figure pressed up against the back windows, hands coming up to block out the outside light to peer in. “He’s in there. With someone else.”
“What? Who is it?” you asked Eddie at the same time the figure at the window outside said: “Shit.” The male voice was filled with regret for a grievous mistake he knew he made.
“Hey, you don’t think it’s—“ the first voice said and then you recognized it: Gareth. Another series of loud bangs against the back door and he followed it up with: “You fucking traitor! What the fuck are you doing fooling around with her? You said yourself she doesn’t give a shit about you, that it’s all an act. What the fuck man?”
“Hey maybe she really likes him,” said another voice, you thought it might be Grant.
Gareth countered: “Or maybe she’s pussy-whipped him into doing something really stupid like showing up at Thanksgiving to piss off her parents.” His next shout was directed at Eddie: “She’s using you, man. Wise up, put your dick away, and get out here.”
You looked helplessly at Eddie who looked lost himself. You could feel his gaze on you as you sat there, your blouse and part of the blanket clutched to your chest. He took up another blanket and threw it over you, almost covering your head in his haste. “Sorry,” he said, “but uh… you get dressed. I’ll go talk to them, okay?”
Another round of bangs and Gareth’s loud voice interrupted you before you could say anything. You nodded instead and gestured toward the back doors of the van with a grand wave. Eddie started to go, reached the doors, and shook his head, reconsidering. Changing tactics, he headed toward the driver’s seat. Before he got there, he draped another blanket over your legs, saying “Keep warm, sweetheart. I’ll be as fast as I can.” A swift kiss to your temple sent a reassuring feeling through you. He clambered over the console and front seat, got out the driver’s door, and herded the boys away.
After you put your bra and top back on and shoved your arms in your coat sleeves, you snuck to the front of the van and watched the boys surround Eddie out of the driver’s side window. Gareth had his hands on his hips when he wasn’t gesticulating wildly. Jeff and Gareth had their hands in their pockets, sheepishly adding to Gareth’s argument points.
Eddie stood resolute with arms crossed not saying a word.
Finally, you heard Gareth shout: “What kind of man are you that you let yourself be used like this, man? I mean, after all, she’s just some piece of pussy!”
Time stopped. For Gareth, Eddie’s eyes turned to glistening dark voids in the moonlight. He was so still, it frightened all three of them. Without warning, Eddie grabbed Gareth by his jacket and threw him down on the ground so hard, he barely had time to stumble before he hit the dirt hard, the breath leaving his body in a loud “Oof!”
Eddie leapt on him in an instant, hauling back a fist and planting it against Gareth’s face. Another came down on his stomach and Gareth convulsed with the impact. Both Jeff and Grant pulled Eddie away and he shook them off.
“Who’s next?” Eddie said, spinning on Jeff and Grant, completely furious. “Because you three have no FUCKING clue what’s going on here. That girl,” here he pointed at the van, and despite knowing that none of them could readily see you, you recoiled from it anyway. “That girl is the best thing I ever–. What I told you before was bullshit because I didn’t understand her. Now, we’ve talked and I do. And I do NOT want to tell you three anything about us because look what the fuck you’ve done tonight?! Maybe you should stop worrying about me like you’re my mom or something. Last I checked - my mom was DEAD.”
Your gasp echoed in the closed space of the van. You had known - of course you had - without him telling you outright in the shaft, but to hear him say it out loud like that - like it was a weapon - it was shocking. He was hiding so much pain from you. There was a tightness in your chest and you fought the urge to race out there and hold him.
Meanwhile, Gareth sat up halfway through this little speech and held his stomach and his face. Jeff went to him and pulled him to his feet. “We were just looking out for you, man,” said Gareth. “We’re your friends, remember?”
“I remember that you just ruined a perfectly good night and scared the shit out of the both of us. Why don’t you three just fuck off, huh? Or better yet - go find some girls of your own?” said Eddie. 
Gareth huffed and tried to find support from Grant and Jeff but came up short. “What? One quick speech and you two assholes are willing to let this brainwashed pussy-whipped loser get to you? What are you? Soft?”
Eddie started toward Gareth again. “What? You think I’m scared of you, man? Huh?” shouted Gareth. 
That was it. You’d had enough. These boys were best friends and falling out in a huge way and it was all your fault. The van made you suddenly claustrophobic. You headed toward the sliding door and got out. The boys were on the opposite side and couldn’t see you and your car was sitting right there so you got in, started the engine and took off as quickly as you could, the headlights giving you one last glimpse of all four boys before guiding you into the night and back to the safety of your own neighborhood.
“FUCK!” Eddie screamed. “You motherfucker! Look what you did!” He spun on Gareth but Jeff stepped forward, blocking his way, hands up in a placating gesture. His hands gripped Eddie’s jacket and he held him back, but barely. Eddie was wild with anger now. “Get off me! Get OFF! He’s going to get the beating of a lifetime!”
“Come on then, pussy-whipped little bitch!” shouted Gareth. Grant held him back by his upper arms. “Let me at him, Grant! Fuck off!”
“Look man,” Jeff said over his shoulder to Gareth, “they were obviously busy in the van when we came up. So there’s something happening here that’s real between them otherwise she’d have been arguing with him or-or- not here at all!” He regarded Eddie. “Hey! Hey! Calm down and tell me this - tell me this - tell me this: you’re sure about her, right man? I mean, really sure?”
Eddie took a couple of breaths before answering him. “Yeah, man. Couldn’t be more sure.”
“She’s not playing you? She’s cool? Totally cool?”
“Totally. For real. She’s the bona-fuking-fide genuine article. We worked it out. She’s… amazing.” His shoulders fell and he relaxed in Jeff’s grip. He looked back at where your car had disappeared into the night. “And now I’ve lost her. Fuck!” You had seen his truly violent side. Finally. Eddie's gut churned. He thought he was going to puke.
“I never thought I’d see the day,” said Gareth smugly, more relaxed, but clearly still angry. “The great Eddie Munson seduced by the dark side.” He shook his shoulders free of Grant’s grip.
“You know what Gar,” said Grant, landing one meaty hand again on the shorter man’s shoulder, “you really need to go out and get laid.” Gareth shook him off again with a huff. Grant nodded at Eddie. “If it’s real, then go after her. If it’s not, then go home. Either way, I’m cold, it’s gonna rain soon, and it’s late. And I don’t feel like fighting over a chick I have no chance of kissing anyway. If she breaks your heart, I guess I’ll help you pick up the pieces. But for right now? Guys. Let’s go.”
Grant guided Gareth away toward the car they had borrowed from Gareth’s mom to get there. Jeff took an extra second to regard Eddie at arm’s length. “You good?” Eddie nodded and ran a hand over his face. “Go get her, man. If she rocks your world? Go fucking get her.” He gave Eddie a friendly shove toward the van. “See you Monday, Romeo.”
“Fuck off,” said Eddie with a tired smile. “See you.”
Eddie lit a cigarette to help calm himself as the van moved away from the pit and toward Loch Nora. He didn’t know exactly where you lived but he had your number and he knew the color, make, and model of your car. He drove toward the nearest payphone. Short of getting you on the phone, he prayed your family didn’t have a garage and you parked outside. He didn’t care if it took him all night to track you down. He didn’t care if he woke your parents up. He didn’t care if he woke up the whole fucking town of Hawkins. He was going to find you and talk to you tonight if it was the last thing he did. He had to explain. He had to tell you that he would never - EVER - raise a hand to you. That he would never become his father. Not for anything in the world. He had to tell you.
And kiss you. He had to kiss you. He had to kiss his girl - even if it was for the last time.
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thepetesimp · 1 day
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Favourite Underrated Ship? Simple answer: Every single Pete rarepair! -> PorschePete? Iconic! Brilliant! Phenomenal! Most people love "best friends who kiss", I love "secret third thing". However one enjoys them, though, they're delicious to consume😌 (You might think it's not an underrated ship, but I'd like to inform you that it has, in fact, less than 100 fics on Ao3, so it very much is in my book. I'm happy to have contributed to it by posting two of them, but I'd love it if there were more. Hopefully, I'll get inspired anew one day.) -> KinnPete? Oh please, the power dynamics make me giggle like a 10 year old girl playing with Barbie dolls. Such glorious toxicity, such perfect ways Kinn could use and abuse Pete to his benefit, either with or without knowing he's doing it. You can do so much with them, either pre, during or post canon and I get so excited thinking about it. (This one has less than 50(!) fics posted, so I'm super thankful to the few authors who have gifted me some amazing works. Sharing my personal favourite because it deserves to be cherished 🥹) -> ArmPete? Do I even need to sell this one? It can do fluff, it can do angst, it can do smut, it can do it all. My personal favourite flavour of it is Arm having unrequited feelings for Pete because it's just so deliciously angsty 😇 I love me some pain, I can't help it. (This one doesn't have any fics to its name, besides one in Chinese. I'm devastated. I did personally have an idea for a multi-chaptered fic with 3k words already written, but if I manage to focus on it properly one day, it'll end up being a simple one-shot.) -> KimPete? Oh, you mean the ship I got so obsessed over I wrote 25k words of them platonically bonding, while having Kim think to himself more than once how pretty Pete is? You mean the ship that shares so many similarities with VegasPete, while still having its own identity based on the differences between Kim and Vegas? You mean the love of my life? (Again, fics for this one are almost non-existent, which is a shame, but understandable. One day, I'll manage to enrich the tag. One day.) -> TankhunPete? Take KinnPete's fucked up power imbalance and twist it in a more peculiar direction. What you get is this ship, which makes me so uncomfortable but so, so intrigued. (Incredibly underrated with how few fics it has, but a special thanks to this one for altering my brain chemistry when I first read it.) -> BigPete? Rivals who might engage in hate sex from time to time? Pals who share the same fate and understand it and bond over it? Pick your poison and roll with it, because it's delicious either way. I'm personally team "They hate each other" because it's more fun that way 😉 (Almost nothing here again, which is a shame, but again understandable. I had forgotten they shared 2 lines of dialogue together in the show, I deadass thought they never talked to each other, which was great for me lol. Here's one fic written by the same person who wrote the KinnPete one, in case you'd like something cool to read.) -> TayPete? This one's for pure aesthetic reasons because have you seen Tay, have you seen Tay at the auction, have you imagined Pete and Tay fucking at the auction, because I surely have 🙂 It's such a gorgeous image, I lose focus for a hot minute when it comes to me. (This one's tricky, because most people write Vegas/Pete/Tay, which is a glorious choice and I support it, and my talented friend is writing a very good VPT fic, but I'd love it if there were more fics that focus on these two only. They're too powerful, I can't get enough.) I think those are all the ones I'm personally obsessed with. All I have to say is, Pete deserves all the beautiful men and what they'd like to do with him ❤️
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peachesofteal · 2 days
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RAAAAAAAAH CHAPTER 13 BRO!!!!!
as always, i read it like a rabid animal, and then reread the prev 4 chapters and then reread this again HAHA
your work ages like fine wine, and i read and treasure every word of it, especially on rereads when i can make myself slow down to really take it all in <3
"He takes it all away. Every time." made me WEEP!!!!! its what she DESERVES!!!! the dependability and the escape into him and simon (simon takes charge obvs, but johnny is just as much an outlet. sweet sweet boy)
i think he also realizes that she's seeing it as escapism and starts to fall away a bit, bc of how he stops her and asks to check in. it makes me curious abt his and simon's early relationship, if he's recognizing the same pattern of behavior and comparing them.
going on with that, when she was showing them her scars, AUUUUUUGH. that hit so hard man. the “No but… they’re hideous.”
“No.” Simon croaks, voice thick. “There isn’t a single part of you that isn’t perfect.”
SIMOOOOOOOON he sees so much of himself in her. its gotta be heartbreaking, knowing she's where he used to be. he gets it fr. i cant imagine two people more suited for her, someone who's been where she is and got out, and the person who's helped get that someone out of that pit. fuck dude. you're so good at this HAHAHA
im not gonna say nothin abt the good girl stuff…. but heehee!
also also "I'm not a little human nurse" made me laugh so hard LMAO pure arizona from grey's. ive been watching it lately (started right before you started posting simple math actually) reading the hospital bits of SM, you do a really good job of capturing the same energy and stakes and work dynamics that you get watching grey's. im honestly still waiting for the other shoe to drop on the stupid attending marshall, there's always something that a shitty attending can mess up down the road lmao
the ending on this chap killed me though. they knew she was flighty, and that she's smart and capable, but its gotta be so hard to get the relief of her coming back after the day out without answering the phone, only to find the papers the next morning. in bunny's defense though, she mentioned in chapters before moving in (i think before graves hurt her?) with them that she had to start looking at outs, and these papers aren't a 2-day turnaround; she probably bought them weeks ago and only now picked them up. i could be wrong though! i think its unfortunate timing, but she also probably just wants the relief knowing that she's got the backup plan accessible. as much as she loves the boys and penny, she's still not used to having the dependability. the safety scares her, or at least gives her the idea of a false sense of security, since she's been on edge for so so long.
i give her big smooch. poor bun. poor boys, and poor penny. manifesting the worst for graves, truly, rot in hell you idiot american
i hope you're feeling better, its lovely to read your works but even better when you're doing well yourself ❤️❤️❤️
I loved reading this! I adore you.
I love how you noticed that Johnny does stop to check in. He has a very firm grip on her mental and emotional state, (it’s not his first rodeo) and he knows just how to bring her back.
The two of them + Bunny is really a dream come true even if she doesn’t realize it yet (they do) and it will take a lot of time and work on everyone’s part.
I think your notes in your last paragraph are pretty spot on, too. Bunny will talk about it more in the next two chapters but- getting a new identity is not a two day turnaround.
Also yeah, I was channeling Arizona with that line 💀 I was hoping someone would catch it!
10/10 I love your breakdowns, no notes, perfection, they always make me smile.
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fl0w3r-33 · 2 days
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🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮
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First Time
summery: its chris’ first time and you guide him through it….
WARNING: smut, sub!chris x reader, p in v, oral( fem ), no protection( wrap it up kids ), virginity loss, creampie, ma, mama, baby, nickname (NOT PROOFREAD)
( a/n: sorry it took so long for me to post again😭 i was on vacation and school is kicking my ass )
🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮
Me and Chris have never have sex before, we have talked about and we’ve made out and gotten close to it but he’s always kinda pulled away. I will never pressure him into anything bc i don’t know his side of it but ever since we got together (5 months ago) i haven’t had sex or even touched myself. I want to ask him about it but i don’t wanna push boundaries.
Chris was laying across my chest editing a video for his personal channel while i watched him. “ Chris can I ask you something?” i asked thinking about how to word this. “ Of course baby what’s up?” he looked up at me from his computer. I went quiet, “ Do you not want to have sex with me? Like do i do something that you don’t like or are you not ready, im just nervous im doing something wrong.” i blurt out. He turned his head back down motionless. “ im so sorry for asking that, it’s just been in my head for a while an-“ He cuts me off. “ i’ve never done it before” he says quietly. “ what..” i gasped surprisingly. “ yo don’t make fun of me” he rolled his eyes. “ im not baby i just thought you would’ve” i run my hand through his hair. It fell quiet after that, “ can we do it? i mean i never have but i can try” he looks up at me. “ don’t worry ill teach you”
i stand up leading him to my room, pushing the door open and guiding him to he was standing right in front of my bed “ Here sit down” i say slightly push him and straddle him. He smiles up at me pulling me into a kiss. “ Take off my shirt” i say lifting up my arms as he slips my shirt off. Normally when it gets to this point he pulls away, “ do you wanna keep going baby?” i ask breaking the kiss. “Yeah” he lets out a breath. I make eye contact with him reaching behind me uncliping my bra letting it fall off my shoulders. Chris’ eyes widened look straight at them. I picked up his hands pulling them up to grab my tits “ you can touch me baby don’t be scared” i wink i him. he lets a slight whimper slip as he stars getting harder under me. I rock back and forth creating friction between us. “ can i taste you?” chris whimpers. “ of course baby.” i say with a smile getting off of him and crawling to the head of the bed taking my panties off leaning back and spreading my legs infront of him. “ fuck you so pretty” he moved over between my legs. He pushed a finger in me, i let out a gasp and i look down at him. “your so wet mama” he latches his lips to my clit. he continues licking in my folds, he pulls away “ am i doing good” he looks up at me still pumping his fingers in me. “ fuck yes good job” i lightly push his head back into me rocking my hips on his face. He smirks onto my pussy at my actions and continues. “ fuck chris im close” i moan. his tongue speed up in me, i let go with a squeal as he laps up my cum.
“great job chris” i smiled down at him. “you taste good ma” he said connecting our lips. “can i ride you” i asked. “yes please” he said swapping places with me. i kneel on the bed next to him, i pulled off his sweats palming his hard through his underwear. I watched as his eyes roll back a bit as a touch him. i slide down his underwear my eyes widened at his size, i slung my leg over to straddle him giving his dick i few times before sliding down on him. “omg you so big” i fall forward putting my hands on either side on his head. He grabs my hips moving them up and down on him “ god you feel so good” he groans letting his mouth fall open. i start bouncing on him at a fast pace feeling him squeeze my things in pleaser.
I feel the knot in my stomach, i clench around him “fuck baby i’m so close” he whimpers from below me. “go ahead and cum pretty boy im right behind you i arched my back.” His hips jerk up into me as a feel strings of his hot cum inside of me as a fall over the edge with my legs shack and my nails digging into his shoulders. i get off of him and he moves over so can fit in the bed to and looks at me. “thank you” he half smiles at me. “for what baby?” i stroke his soft brown hair. “For yk… being my first time” he says. “no problem you did wonderful baby” i say getting up and going over to get him and i clothes and tossing him some sweats. “so did you” he breathes pulling clean pants on. i ran back over to the giggling and cuddling with chris until i felt his breathing slow and he feel asleep peacefully. “ my beautiful boy” i admire him…
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zzoguri · 2 days
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[TEASER] finger trapped (ripped to its seams) ➵ ji changmin
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ji changmin x reader
with an unexpected reunion, you and changmin relive the memories of cheongju—and confront what could’ve been between you two.
inspired by ➵ "seasons" by wave to earth, the last five years
general genre/warnings ➵ friends to almost lovers, angst, fluff, the last five years story-telling method aka present will be told going backwards while past will be told moving forward (i hope that makes sense), missed chances, unexpected reunion, keeping secrets & lying, hurt/comfort, jealousy remains but love triumphs, tiger parents, journalist reader (u kno i had to do it), reader is a nerd and changmin is a student-athlete, kms jokes from jongseob (all /lh), finger traps aren’t efficient after all
word count ➵ est. 10-15k
playlist ➵ end of beginning by djo // high school in jakarta by niki // i know it won't work by gracie abrams // no big deal (i love you) by dodie // keeping tabs by niki // no one knows by stephen sanchez & laufey // so what now by renee rapp // i wish i hated you by ariana grande // the 1 by taylor swift // seasons by wave to earth
a/n ➵ shhhhhhh.... i know that i'm still writing this but a lil motivation and accountability goes a long way SOOO !!! this is just a lil teaser for the upcoming jichang fic for the deoboyznet event <33 thank you again to my lovely @hcuyk for beta reading !!! (i've only written 1/4 please understand.) but i'm dedicating this to my lovely @sungbeam whose love for changmin is one i'll forever feel even to my ribs and @wavesmp3 who forever remains an inspiration in the way i write </3 plus, i've posted these snippets anyway so :P if ure interested in this fic, feel free to ask to be part of the taglist for this! and dont forget to always leave feedback <3
want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlists
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it’s a late night on a tuesday, about to be a midnight wednesday, and you’re in a convenience store as you scout for your dinner. all hauled up in the newsroom, the idea of ordering food during a time where restaurants would still be open slipped your mind. now, you’re left to scan through the same options you’ve eaten for the past years since you started living in seoul.
the convenience clerks are familiar with you, both kim jongseob and kim jiwoo. with your constant late-night meals at the store, you’d talk to whichever one had a shift. jongseob is saving up to upgrade his setup at home to record more music. with all the stories he shares about his time in underground rap battles along with the short verses he’s performed for you, you’re positive that he’ll get signed to a label soon. as for jiwoo, this is one of the many jobs she has in order to save enough money for fashion school. you’ve seen her sketches and outfits she’s put together and you’re hoping that she’ll get accepted.
a sigh leaves you. you didn’t have a problem with eating the food here but you were craving for something new in your life in seoul. the perpetual cycle of eating takeout food and unconsciously skipping meals for work needed to be disrupted just for a moment. but you weren’t seeking michelin-star food—all you wanted was home cooked, something from home.
the spice of tteokbokki, the burn of freshly fried hotteok, and the sweetness of homemade peach iced tea—mr. kim’s convenience store had it all.
your tastebuds long for cheongju.
“planning to beat your record of spending 23 minutes on deciding what to get?”
you roll your eyes before looking to your right, seeing jongseob stocking up the drinks in the fridge. “i hate you.”
“what? i’m just saying, you’re taking a lot longer to decide today.” he chuckles before placing the last bottle of sweetened probiotic milk in the fridge. “none of the options look good to you?”
“sort of,” you hum before you scan through the aisle of packaged meals. “i think i’m craving for something different.”
“i get it. the food here can get boring, which is why i’m planning to order pizza if you want to split the costs.”
your eyebrows shoot up at jongseob’s suggestion. “really? you’d share pizza with me?”
“yeah, as long as you pay for your share.” he shoots you a smile before grabbing on a trolley carrying empty boxes. “unless… you want to pay for the whole thing.”
you bite back a smile as you shake your head. you should’ve known the guy would ask you to buy him food, but you knew that he needed the money and you at least had a stable income to keep you comfortable. “fine,” jongseob’s smile grows as you fish out your wallet from your pocket and pull out a couple of bills. “just order enough for us two.” 
“of course,” he says as soon as you hand him some money. “i’ll make sure to order the most expensive thing on the menu.”
you scoff at his joke. “just make sure to treat me to something.”
the bell by the door chimes. “sorry, can’t hear you over that! need to attend to a customer!” jongseob quickly runs away from you while dragging the trolley. that little shit just knew how to press your buttons, but you love the kid, anyway.
still, you stand in the middle of the mart and your heart longs for home.
then, you shut your eyes, and you’re transported back in front of the familiar aisle filled with bags of potato chips and sweet corn. the noisy fan along with the soft sounds of mr. kim’s korean drama fills your ears. a mix of yellow and orange hues paint every corner of the mart, including you—and you’re not alone.
your best friend stands on your right, wearing the unbuttoned school uniform polo over a tank top along with jogging pants. he’s lost in thought as he scans through the options of snacks you two can have for today’s afternoon. he starts to giggle to himself, probably from a silly thought he’ll share with you in the next second or a memory involving you, and the dips in his cheeks appear—your heart thumps in your ears.
and just like how quickly you were transported back to cheongju, your surroundings transformed into the cool-lit convenience store found in seoul. all you have left is the image of him bathed in the sunlight.
but he fades away like the ink on old receipts, never gone, because the glowing image of him warps into a different version who stands next to you in the cold mart. he’s grown a few inches taller and his hair doesn’t get in the way of his line of sight. while he wears a green sweater, you notice that he’s gained some muscles. his eyes scan through the aisle behind you filled with different brands of instant ramen.
but he bites the inside of his cheek, and his dimples appear.
it’s a tornado that brews within you, enough to uproot trees and displace buildings, all because of an unexpected reunion with changmin. why did the universe decide to bring two ex-best friends on a random tuesday night? what brings him to the convenience store at the same time you’re there? and why did it have to happen a day before the interview?
you weren’t going to commit the same mistake; keep your eyes off of him and make your way out of the store. it didn’t matter if you had an empty, growling stomach, or gave free money to jongseob. you need to leave without the distant, familiar face noticing.
your feet act fast, and you're almost certain that might’ve caught his attention, but it didn’t matter as you see jongseob standing behind the cashier with his phone out. “i just ordered the pizza. it should arrive in about… 20 to 30 minutes.”
“yeah, about that…”
“don’t tell me you’re taking your money back.”
at the sight of jongseob’s pout, you roll your eyes. “no, keep it. i just—i need to go.”
“what? why?”
you peek behind you. it seems like he didn’t recognize you, after all. “i’ve got… work!”
“but don’t you only have your interview with the bo—”
“hey!” your fingers snap at him. “you cannot—i mean, you just… just take the goddamn money.”
“but we’re supposed to share the pizza. you haven’t eaten.”
an exasperated sigh leaves you. “jongseob, just treat me next time. i can eat at home.”
and you’re ready to leave the convenience store, bid farewell to jongseob and a delicious pizza made for two, and never greet or say goodbye to the living fragment of what you last know of cheongju—
“y/n?”
and the plan failed.
when you meet his gaze, you’re able to take in the different version of him. he’s grown so much—it’s such a pain that you weren’t there to witness it. his eyes are a pool of emotions; you can’t identify them.
all it takes is one breath from you. “changmin.”
a beat passes.
“i’m just gonna… go through the storage,” jongseob points his thumb at the back of the mart, “and maybe kill myself afterwards. i don’t know.” before you can protest, he’s already gone. (and he still has your money. that fucker.)
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