#this fic was kind of self-indulgent but not really

[targaryenluvs]

TOO SWEET / SOULLESS!SAM WINCHESTER

PAIRINGS: Soulless Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: You were simply just trying to get through your day, he found himself enticed by your kindness and unwilling to let go.

WARNINGS: Innocence kink, teasing, flattery, size diff kink, dacryphillia, hair pulling, non-con/dub-con, rough, angry Sam, p in v, fingering, cream pie, babying, virgin reader, blood, scratches

WORDCOUNT: 3K Words

A/N: I can’t just write a sweet Sam fic and not balance out the scales! This is a bit self indulgent so short!reader. Also I’m not an avid drinker so bare with me at the bar 😭 @lady-ashfade here it is!!

Gif not mine, credits to the owner!

A03 Link

You hadn’t meant to bump into him, no one bumps into people on purpose. But you were scared of running out of time before the shop closed and weren’t really caring about your surroundings.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” You immediately apologised whilst grabbing everything that had dropped to the floor. His hands grazed yours and you froze up, making eye contact with the man. “No, it was my fault.” His voice mocked the concern in yours, even if it didn’t reach his eyes.

You laughed, “Are you kidding? I totally bumped into you, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” You stood up with all your belongings in hand and with a smile. “I should be on my way. Again, I’m so sorry.” Sam shook his head, “You don’t need to keep apologising.”

Your lips pressed into a tight smile as you nodded, “Okay.” The awkwardness of your interaction was practically unbearable. “I’ll be on my way, have a nice day.” Sam watched as you walked away, and he couldn’t help but laugh. Not out of happiness but intrigue.

He wanted more, and he wasn’t going to stop until he did.

You were sweet, unnaturally so, he wanted a taste.

So with out your knowledge of course, he followed you. For the rest of the day he was right behind you, and you were blissfully unaware. You finished up with your groceries about an hour later and finally crossing off everything to do that day.

As you stood near the exit with your cart you couldn’t help but sigh. Seven bags, loaded, and paper with only two arms. Your car was in the shop so you’d put off a lot of things, which resulted in them piling up.

So you decided for a delivery instead, but you had to wait until the truck came back to allow them to pick your groceries up and eventually drop them off. You wondered if they’d give you a ride in all honesty.

You waited outside the doors whilst reading a magazine you bought, which was surprisingly interesting.

You really should be more aware of your surroundings.

“Do you need some help?” You glanced upwards at the sound of a familiar voice, the man from before. He was so tall and pretty, “Oh! No, I’m just waiting.” You smiled widely as you placed the magazine inside a bag. “I didn’t catch your name back there, I’m Y/n.” Sam smiled, “Nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Sam.” His eyes trailed down, you were wearing a low cut dress, it sure as hell suited you.

“Completing some shopping are we?” He chuckled at the notion, Sam, grocery shopping like a normal person. “I was about to, until I saw your gorgeous self.” His words made you giggle, you could feel your face grow hotter. “Oh god, you are— that’s so sweet.” Your hands intertwined with eachother as you looked down to your feet, a strand falling in front of your eyes.

Sam’s hand darted out to tuck it behind your ear, “Oh, thank you.” Your voice was sweet, he wondered if you were this shy in bed. “No problem. I was wondering—,”

“Ma’am?” A worker came outside with a smile, “Trucks here, would you like me to unpack it all for you?” You nodded quickly, “Oh yes, please.” You were always so polite. “Someone as pretty as you shouldn’t be doing it all herself am I right?” Sam’s jaw tightened as he watched your face flush, “I’ll help her unload.”

You both turned to Sam, “No you don’t need to seriously.” The look in Sam’s eyes was unsettling, and you thought the worker noticed it too. “I’ll help.” It wasn’t an ask, he was telling you. And you were the furthest thing from confrontational, so you let him take the cart. The worker passed a clipboard to you to fill out your address, Sam passed it onto the driver.

Sam couldn’t figure out for the life of him why he wanted you so badly, he couldn’t care less usually about some random girl. But there was something about you that drew him to you, you were so, innocent. In need. And he wanted to sink his teeth into you, badly.

Once he was done you offered him a tight lipped smile, unsure of his mood, “Thank you Sam, you didn’t have to at all.” He knew he didn’t have to, “It’s nothing really, you needed the help.” Sam couldn’t help but grin when he noticed you quite literally straining your neck to look up at him. You were so, pocket sized.

As if I can’t load groceries into a trunk? His words made you seem weak, but you brushed it off. “I don’t how to repay—,”

Bad choice of words sweetheart.

“Let me take you out.”

Somehow you’d managed to let him smooth talk you into a hang out. So here you were, sitting with him at the bar. Sam was anything but boring. He had about a million comments locked and loaded for every second. You found yourself enthralled by him, it’d been far too long since you enjoyed yourself on a night out.

“You’re lying!”

“I’m not, at all. Believe what you want Sweetheart.” The nickname made you want to kick your feet and smile. Sam was so, amazing. He was tall, handsome, funny and kind. You could’ve maybe added chivalrous to the list. Sam waved over the bartender, he’d finished his third beer whilst you nursed a Cosmo.

Sam raised an eyebrow at your drink, you’d had it for about twenty minutes and before it a coke. “Pacing yourself are we?” The glass turned in your hands as you sighed, “I don’t drink that often honestly.”

“No?” Sam feigned interest, “Yeah, I’m more of the designated driver. I find it better to have fun sober in all honesty rather than waking up with a pounding headache and unaware of my surroundings.” Getting blackout drunk wasn’t on everyone’s to do lists which was respectable he guessed. “Good girl.”

The words made your eyes widen as you took another sip, Sam noticed. He found your shyness cute. Usually by know a girl was pawing at him, hinting towards a get away to her place or at least flirting. But you were just, talking. Like you wanted to get to know him rather than fuck him.

He found it adorable at the start, you barely knew what you were doing. But with your tits on display, and him being more than tall enough to look down your dress, he wanted nothing more than to get out of the place.

It’d been thirty minutes since his third beer. He was on his seventh and you were on another coke. Sam was so close to blowing up. The way you looked up at him, when your lips chased after the liquid in your cup, and your cute little body in that short dress.

You glanced at the clock on the wall and gasped, you had work you needed to submit by 11 and it was already 10. “I completely lost track of time, oh my god!” Sam watched as you smiled at the bartender, swiftly tossing down a thirty as you swung your bag over your shoulder.

Sam placed his beer down, undeniably irritated by your sudden departure, “Thank you so much for such a nice night Sam, it was really nice getting to know you. I hope we can maybe see eachother again?” You barely waited for an answer before placing a peck on his cheek.

“I’ll see you around?”

It was the last thing you said before you bolted out the door. Sam was surprisingly stunned, within a minute you’d upped and left him alone. Not once did you overtly flirt or bat your eye lashes, it was honestly refreshing. A challenge is what he saw you as and a kind man is what saw you in him. How wrong you were, and how badly he wanted you.

Sam downed the rest of his drink before deciding, he was coming after you.

The night air nipped at your bare skin, you’d idiotically forgone a jacket or shawl. All you wanted was to get home and debrief with your friend who was proud of you for finally going out with someone. You really did enjoy yourself with Sam, but at the same time in your opinion there was something off about him.

He’d make a good friend.

As you entered your apartment you immediately sighed, if there was something you loved more than shopping or going out, it was your home. You quickly removed your heels and placed your bag on the counter before moving to your room. Makeup wipes disposed of, clothes picked out and the weekend was tomorrow.

You decided to wear a simple gown since it was a bit too warm in your place. As you were about to turn down the heat—

The lights went out.

Your hands trailed along the walls until you reached your living room curtains, thankfully you lived in the city. As you looked out you realised it was probably only your building. A creaking from behind caused you to turn sharply, “Hello?” No response. You slowly made your way to the kitchen, grabbing a flashlight from your drawer.

The living room seemed empty, shadows drawn out by the light. Another creak came, but closer this time, “If there’s someone here, I’m so close to calling the cops.”

You screamed as you heard a chuckle from behind you, “How are you going to call without a phone?” You knew that voice, “Sam?” He stepped out from behind you with a wide grin, his eyes were trained on you, like a predator. The way he stared sent shivers down your spine, “What the hell are you doing here? How did you even—,”

“I saw your address on the delivery sheet. You really shouldn’t just pass around personal details sweetheart.” You swallowed before backing up, he continued walking forwards, “I— I didn’t show it you on purpose.” Sam shook his head disapprovingly as he tutted, “It’s no excuse, it was reckless of you. Imagine what would’ve happened if the wrong person saw?”

The tears were welling quickly, this was not the Sam you’d met, the one that you laughed and drunk with. This Sam was intimidating, “You are the wrong person.”

Your back was up against the wall, “Ouch, I wasn’t the wrong person when you needed help right? I wasn’t the wrong person when you wanted to go out. You’re a bitch, you know that? Wearing that little dress, that black lace and leaving me by myself. What was so important that you had to go? Or do you just get kicks out of leaving guys high and dry?”

You shook your head vehemently, tears dropping down your cheeks. Sam’s thumb caressed your cheek whilst the other traced upwards, “No.” You cried out, “No?” Sam mocked as he raised his eyebrows, “No to what sweetie? No to being a slut or something else?” His fingers ghosted over your panties as you jerked your hips upwards, “Sensitive aren’t you, not so sure if you’re a slut anymore Y/n/n.”

You refrained from puking at the nickname, “Something else.” Sam smirked as he took you in, teary, puffy eyes with a tear stained face. You struggled with getting your words out, his presence was overwhelming. You knew you couldn’t actually put up a fight, this man was a giant. And he’d absolutely crush you, no chance.

“No to this?” His fingers slipped your panties to the side and laughed when you began to sob into his shoulder. His finger presses against your clit as a gasp falls from your lips, “Can’t tell me you don’t want it when you’re acting like this Y/n/n.” You cringed at the lewd squelch that came from you.

Sam groaned as your fingertips dug into his biceps, “Sammy please.” He wanted to hit you the second you called him Sammy, but the wide eyes that stared up at him were too cute. “Tell me, tell Sammy what you need.” It was tedious at this point, his fingers had withdrawn from your clit, his touch was light and never where you needed it to be.

“Please just— just do something!” You wanted to cry even more, the apartment was warm and so were you. Your head was foggy, and all you could focus on was Sam’s large hands and thick fingers. “Please, I need you.” He pressed a finger to your clit and you moaned out, “Sammy!”

“You’re so wet Y/n/n, all for me yeah?” You were too far gone as he entered a finger, in and out. “When I say something,” Not even giving a minute to adjust, Sam added another finger as your fingernails scratched down his arms, “You respond.” His other hand came around your neck, his own fingernails imprint upon the smooth skin.

You whined at the loss of contact as Sam pulled out, feeling discomfort as you could feel your own slick coating your thighs, “Jump.” Sam had his hands on your ass as you jumped up, “Good girl.”

He laid you down on the bed before taking his own clothes off. You expected him to continue with fingering you but Sam had different plans. Because if there was one thing he put on top?

His own pleasure.

When you felt him rubbing his cock on your cunt, you immediately began to crawl away, “What do you think you’re doing Y/n/n?” Sam’s hands circled around your wrists as you squealed, his grip was tight and bruising.

“I’ve never…”

Oh this was too good. As if he wasn’t already having a good night. When you finally stopped fighting him, realising the stupidity of it, you looked at him.

His face was twisted in concern and you felt your heart swell, he was going to let you go. But then, you watched in horror as he began to laugh.

“Baby, you think I care? More fun for me.”

Your bedroom was filled with lewd sounds of skin and groans from Sam, your hands were pinned down above your head courtesy of Sam. He thrusted meanly and with so much force that you had scratched his back bloody.

“Shit Y/n/n, I knew you’d have a tight cunt but, fuck.”You hated him, how gorgeous he looked above you, how the sweat made his abs glisten and how your body reacted to his words.

Sam’s one hand was more than enough to hold both of yours, he traced your tits before pinching your nipple causing you to scream out. “Does it hurt? Poor baby.” He continued plunging into you, his dick twitched inside as he noticed the crimson on his dick.

Sam slowed his movements down as he noticed your eyes fluttering, “You keep your eyes on me Y/n. Close your eyes on me again and see what happens.” You quite literally couldn’t help it, Sam had already came inside you twice and your body had given up on fighting long ago.

“Please, just stop it Sam.” He scoffed at the plea, “What, I’m not Sammy anymore?” Sam teased as his hand came down to your clit, pressing down.

“This is all your fault y’know? Leaving me at the bar like I’m pathetic? Only pathetic thing here is you. Can’t even fight back now?” You barely managed to shake your head as Sam’s strong hands squeezed your hips before lifting and a slap landed on your ass.

“Cute little thing aren’t you?”

Sam pulled out before flipping you onto your stomach, pulling you back by your hips he ground against your ass. He prodded at your ass using your slick to stretch you out, “Cute ass too, maybe next time?” You shook your head at the notion, “Baby, Y/n/n you gotta use your words.”

He slid back into your tight cunt and groaned, “Fuck you’re so good. All— all for me.” You found yourself clutching onto the bed as he drove in and out mercilessly. You felt your legs begin to quiver as your cunt throbbed and clenched and you closed your eyes, trying your hardest to hold back. His hand tangled itself in your hair.

Sam’s hand on your ass kneaded and slapped, leaving it throbbing. “Fuck I can feel you, cum. Cum for me.” As much as you didn’t want to give him the pleasure of knowing you felt as if you were going to explode. Sam was there too, you could feel his hips falter and his grip on your hair tighten.

“You’re mine, fuck, You’re mine. You understand?” His voice whispered against your ears and then you felt it. Sam’s cock throbbed inside of you, you could feel it with how deep he was inside of you, and thick, hot, ropes of cum filling you up as he came.

Sam’s hand pressed down onto your stomach, “Feel that Y/n/n?” Sam’s voice was prominent by your ear, “Yes Sammy!” You exclaimed, it felt as if you were filled to the brim as he bottomed out in you.

He grinned before pulling out, you immediately collapsed onto the bed. You closed your eyes hoping it was over now. You jolted as you felt Sam’s fingers stuff his loads of cum back into you, “Keep that in there, or I’ll take you again.” Sam smiled as you nodded.

He surprisingly didn’t leave, instead he laid next to you. Sam had given you a break, two minutes was enough right?

Your peace was taken again as you felt a hand crawl around on your hip, “On second thought,”

“I might just take your ass now.”

#supernatural x fem!reader #yandere supernatural x reader #supernatural x you #supernatural x reader #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x fem!reader #yandere sam winchester x reader #soulless sam winchester x reader #spn x you #spn x reader #spn x female reader

[mochees]

— two tortured souls

dazai osamu x chuuya nakahara | wc: 3k | crossposted to ao3

TAGS: drabble, angst, depression, post-corruption ability use, soft/comfort, generally low mental health mentions, chuuya has a BATH, use of petnames for teasing.

A/N: hihi!!! long time no write!!! remember when i dropped the most depraved, disgusting, self indulgent eremin fic ever and then dropped off the face of the earth with empty promises? me neither, moving on! anyway. been wanting to get back into writing lately but yknow..... the undergrad life........ but i find myself with too much time now that the semester is over so have a drabble thing i wrote a year ago and then just never posted lmfao. it was supposed to be longer but i just couldn't get the ending right so i left it kind of open i guess? anyway skk is real to me

Willingly sacrificing your autonomy is so much more than physically exhausting. Corruption leaves Chuuya feeling truly empty and insignificant. It makes him feel as though he really is just a vessel for something else. An empty, fleshy shell that doesn’t even belong to him. Unlike the physical exhaustion, however, the feeling lingers. It hangs around like a morning fog, obscuring everything as far as he can see. It’s disorienting and restrictive. Most of all, it’s loud. The voices that dwell in the fog are so loud, much louder than anything Chuuya has ever heard, and they echo. They echo, bouncing off of each other and amplifying every emotion, every word, every moment of despair.

Chuuya can’t remember how many days have passed since he used corruption. At least two, maybe even three. The fog is so thick that days eventually just blur together, and time turns into molasses. Resigning himself to a night or two in darkness, he tucks his knees against his chest and covers his ears with his arms, attempting to block out as much of the noise as possible. 

But you can’t silence your own guilt. 

It was pitch black in the house by the time Dazai arrived, which was unusual, but he figured that Chuuya was either tucked in and fast asleep already or strewn across some surface with a movie.

“Chuuya ~,” he sang. “I’m back ~!” Concern grew on Dazai’s face when the routine groan of usually completely false annoyance didn’t sound. He counted all the hats in the closet as he tucked his own clothing away and muttered to no one in particular, “he’s definitely here…”

The detective took a few steps before he sounded again, “Chuuya? Where are you?” The absence of an answer worried him further. No matter how tired, angry, or drunk Chuuya was, he always made a point of greeting his partner as unenthusiastically as he could.

Dazai made his way through the house, checking a few rooms before he found Chuuya. Scrunched up in the far corner of the bedroom, his faint form was desperately trying to be swallowed by darkness. Even for someone who consistently allowed themselves to actually be swallowed by the darkness, seeing Chuuya in such distress and anguish was deeply unsettling for Dazai. Chuuya always surrounded himself with people, and for him to look so alone–

Dazai shook off his thoughts and made his way over to the man, crouching low a few feet away.

“…uuya? Chuuya?” When he didn’t respond, Dazai raised his volume a fraction.

“Are you alright?” Chuuya jumped a little, unaware that someone had crossed into his world of anguish.

Dazai chuckled. He couldn’t help but find it a little humourous; it’s not often he was able to get the jump on him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“Dazai?” Chuuya’s voice was hoarse and distant, and Dazai immediately steeled himself.

“Are you– what happened?”

The executive didn’t answer. He just stared—not through Dazai or at anything; he just looked ahead with no purpose. Chuuya could hear something but could not decipher the sounds for the life of him. He only realized they were words when he noticed Dazai’s mouth moving.

There was nothing about Chuuya's demeanour that told Dazai he was conscious. But he also wasn't unconscious. God knows Dazai is all too familiar with Chuuya's unconscious mind, and this wasn't it. There was no light in his eyes, but they weren't lifeless. It was as if Chuuya had trapped himself in his own body, caught between two states of being. He didn't know if Chuuya could even process what he was saying in this state, but he also didn't want to stop. Perhaps Dazai believed in a silly idea that the sound waves might reach him, that they would guide him through whatever limbo he was in. 

Once he finished, Dazai rose from his place on the floor and made his way to the bedroom door. Chuuya could see him leaving, but he couldn’t hear his footsteps. All he could focus on was the voices getting louder again, and the second that Dazai was out that door they started to echo again. Unwilling to fight them, Chuuya lowered his head back down and let the pressure build in his chest and ache his muscles.

Physically, the pain was no different from a hard day's work, but emotionally, it was excruciating. Every breath was hell. Each inhale wound a cord up tightly, but breathing out did nothing to release it. All of the fibres in Chuuya's body felt like they would snap and finally grant him a moment's release, maybe even exhaust him enough to sleep, but they didn't. Instead, they grew tighter and tighter, digging into every strand until it inevitably cut him into a million little pieces.

When Dazai returned, he was greeted with a sight more devastating than before. Tension was emanating from Chuuya like heat from a grill, and he looked positively hopeless.

“Chuuya,” Dazai’s voice was uncharacteristically soft—unfitting, really—but he hoped it might help Chuuya focus. “Will you come with me?” He waited a few moments, giving the redhead extra time to process.

To Chuuya, the sounds outside his head would die before they could fully reach him. The echo was good at drowning everything out like that. 

But luckily, Dazai always did have a talent for evading death.

“You don’t have to do anything, I promise. I’ll–” He hesitated. How can you promise to take care of someone else when you’ve never been able to care for yourself?

“–I’ll help you. Please, Chuuya. If you stay here, it’s not going to get any better.”

Chuuya Nakahara knows that he is right. Of anyone, Osamu Dazai would know, wouldn’t he? It takes him a little while, but with a few shaky breaths and silent tears, he lifts his head and places his hand in the one outstretched before him. This won't fix him, but he has to admit that when Dazai rubs his thumb along his skin, it releases some of the tension in his shoulders. Dazai leans forward and slowly reaches for Chuuya’s other hand, stiff from how tight he was grasping onto his other arm.

“Okay, up we go.” Wasting no time to get Chuuya out of the isolation he'd built for himself, Dazai does his best to support as much of his weight as he can while holding his hands. He doesn’t know how long Chuuya had been sitting there, but he reckons his legs have probably gone numb. As if on cue, Chuuya almost falls right back down before Dazai has a hand on his waist.

“Careful.”

Chuuya's eyes are red and puffy, and his agony has left trails down his cheeks. Chuuya has always been beautiful to Dazai, stealing heartfelt glances when the former isn't looking. But seeing him like this is, in a way, even more breathtaking to Dazai. It means that after all these years of being so sick of each other's mere existence that Chuuya, his rival, his partner, trusts Dazai enough to shatter before him completely. Bringing Chuuya's hand up to his mouth, he lets his lips linger for a few moments as they wait for Chuuya's legs to regain feeling.

Once Chuuya is stable, he lets go of the shorter man’s waist and leads him with one hand, still petting his thumb across the freezing expanse of his hand.

Chuuya doesn’t know what his partner has been doing, or maybe he does. He can’t remember right now; he doesn’t want to. Wherever Dazai is taking him, it takes no longer than twenty seconds, but he feels like a stranger in his own home, wading through the thickest pool of molasses. He can see a straight hallway ahead of him, but it seems like an endless maze of twists and turns. One foot in front of the other, he tries to tell himself, but it’s hard to tell your feet what to do when you feel like a stranger in your own body to. He can feel his face growing wetter as they arrive at their destination. However, in a brief moment of relief, he realizes that they're not tears but steam.

For the time that he had disappeared past the threshold, Dazai had run Chuuya a hot bath and made him something simple to eat. Knowing all too well what feeling this way does to one’s motivation and desire. But honestly, the last thing Chuuya wants to do right now is to bathe. It’s far too much work, and he’d rather be back in the dark in the corner or under a blanket. Even if it meant he’d be alone with his stupid fucking thoughts.

“I know it seems like a chore, but it will help, Chuuya.” Dazai’s familiarity with the muddied waters of one’s own psyche was currently vastly irritating. Chuuya knows that he’s right. He does, but even then, it’s still too much for him to handle right now.

Dazai takes Chuuya’s other hand back in his own. “Do you want me to stay?”

“I– I don’t know.” His voice sounded better to Dazai, the steam probably settling in his throat.

“It’s okay not to know, but I can’t stay here with you if you don’t know.”

Chuuya snaps his head a little at that, shooting his partner an exhausted expression. Dazai gives a slight smile at the motion and gives the others' hands, still in his own, a reassuring squeeze. Perhaps it’s a little morally wrong given the circumstances, but he thinks that he could have a little, tiny bit of fun with this.

“Would you like my help?” He asks again, and Chuuya nods his head before practically collapsing into his arms.

Oh, it is absolutely morally wrong, but he can’t help himself, so he softly teases the man. “Such a gentleman! Flirting with me before we spend the night in each other's company!”

That earns a tired groan from Chuuya who is not willing to put up with Dazai’s usual jeering, but also not unexpected of the brunette to choose the completely wrong time to make his jokes.

“I’m sorry, my darling.” He uses the pet name, knowing he’ll be able to get away with it tonight since Chuuya is too tired to fight him. He runs his fingers through red strands, waiting for Chuuya’s breathing to even out in his hold before moving his hands down to the hem of his shirt. Deft fingers slip underneath and rub small circles into the skin there.

“Is this okay?” He whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

Upon receiving a satisfied hum of approval, he lifts Chuuya’s shirt over his head and drops it onto the counter. Staying out of your head is hard when you’re alone. Knowing Chuuya has already surmised his partners' intentions of distracting him, gently, Dazai pulls him back into his chest and runs his nails down his back. Chuuya’s skin was already freezing before, so he can’t tell if his goosebumps are from chills, or from him. He hopes it’s the latter. After a few seconds, his movements shift into steady pressure trying to work out the tension that Chuuya had cultivated. When he feels Chuuya fall further into him, Dazai is pleased with his work already.

“Chuuya,” he presses harder when he finds a particularly knotty spot at the base of Chuuya’s neck. “Unless you want to get in with your pants on, you’ll have to take them off.”

This earns Dazai a particularly unimpressed look when Chuuya pushes off his chest.

“What?”

Chuuya continues to stare.

“Did you want me to do it for you?”

Well, Chuuya supposes that Dazai can’t help the fact that he is an idiot. After all, he did promise to help. He rolls his eyes and lets out a particularly rumbly sigh, and drops his pants himself, kicking them to the side.

“So forward of you~” teases Dazai.

Turning towards the tub, Chuuya grumbles. “I hate you.”

Dazai grins again. Even if he still feels worse than shit, he’s glad to see Chuuya with a little bit of his fire again. “I know you do. Here, let me help.”

Holding onto Chuuya’s forearm, Dazai helps him settle into the bath. Chuuya resumes his form from earlier in the night, but much more open. His arms are propped on top of his knees, hands hanging down, and fingers just dipping into the water. Dropping his head in between his shoulders as the heat surrounds his aching body, blue eyes fall shut. Then, he releases a deep breath he didn’t even realize he was holding in. Dazai has his arm across the edge of the tub, resting his head with eyes full of admiration. With Chuuya completely bare in front of him, he traces the flow of his body with his eyes. Stopping often to archive all the little things he loves. Soft red hair that he can't help but play with. Shoulders that he's cried on. The gentleness of his otherwise blood-soaked hands. Even the scars littered across his skin, Dazai loves. They look much better on Chuuya than on him. He reaches out and just barely grazes the sides of Chuuya’s fingers above the water.

“What are you so happy about?”

Dazai hums in response, and Chuuya blows a ripple on the water. They spend a while like this—still, just next to each other, the only sound being an occasional jittery breath.

Dazai interrupts the silence by dipping his fingers into the water and letting the droplets roll off onto Chuuya’s shoulder. 

“Feeling better?”

Chuuya wiggles his fingers in the water, trying to find an answer below the surface.  

“C’mere, and turn around.”

Chuuya turns his head, resting it along his arm and staring the man down.Dazai can read it in his eyes: For what. 

“You’re still tense. So come here.” He presses his finger on the edge of the tub. “I didn’t get to finish getting all the knots out.”

Dazai is not as good at hiding his intentions from Chuuya as he thinks he can be. “You just want to play with my hair.” 

Dazai knows this. He feigns being insulted anyway, throwing his hands into the air. “And so what if I do? Is that a crime? Is it wrong of me to want t–”

“You’re real insufferable, y’know.” Chuuya turns his back to the side of the bathtub.

Dazai smiles sweetly. He likes that so much of their relationship can be left unsaid. Sure, sometimes it probably shouldn’t be unsaid, but it’s fine. Dazai is happy. “It’s why we work so well together.” 

He gets to work on dissipating the rest of the fear and anger in Chuuya’s bones, occasionally and very intentionally, getting sidetracked and twirling a lock of hair around his fingers. At the mercy of Dazai's frighteningly deft hands, a particular spot just above Chuuya's shoulder blade earns Dazai a groan—one he oh so graciously accepts. Working lithe fingers around it, Chuuya leans his head back onto Dazai as the little ball of stress is pulled apart, strand by strand. 

Chuuya's neck is deliciously bared, and Dazai is an opportunistic man. He trails kisses up to just below red lashes, slow and endearing. He continues massaging throughout, placing a final one on fluttering eyes before dragging his lips back down to Chuuya’s ear. 

“The water’s getting cool, my love. You should really get out soon.” Dazai is very pleased with himself when Chuuya shudders.   (He is an opportunistic man, after all, and it truly is such a wonderful opportunity to be the most annoying man on the planet.) He lets his mouth fall down to Chuuya’s shoulder, resting for a moment and trying very hard to hold back the biggest, dopiest grin. Of course, Chuuya can tell. He can sense the smallest shifts in Dazai's behaviour. Although, this time he could tell by just feeling Dazai's facial muscles straining against his shoulder. But Dazai doesn't need to know that. 

 "...Shut up. Get me a towel." Chuuya does a very bad job of hiding the blush on his cheeks. 

Dazai just smiles at his partner, he can't see, but it's a smile full of fondness. One with admiration, love, and as much as he'd rather die than admit it, respect too. Letting someone see you have a complete breakdown, watching as the industrial strength glue you've used to keep yourself from falling apart rapidly starts to degrade, and still trusting that they won't think any differently of or diminish you, takes so much courage. It takes so much trust to rely on someone, even someone you love, to help you set the pieces back together. 

That's something Dazai has never been able to do. He can't let go of that vulnerability, and he cannot have it used against him. Of course, deep down, Dazai knows that Chuuya would never do that to him, but it's hard to turn off those thoughts. It's hard to think of yourself as worth loving and caring for when you have never loved or cared for yourself. 

"Hey, are you okay?" The smile on Dazai's face is forlorn. Realizing that Chuuya is reading him like a book Dazai masterfully shifts his expression, changing the atmosphere around him. This is not about him, and he shouldn't be making it so. 

"I'm just peachy, Chibi!” Chuuya doesn't press any further.

Dazai wraps the towel around him, pulling at the ends to bring his partner closer. Taking a second to look over Chuuya, he notes that his eyes are no longer red and puffy, and his skin has a sheen from the moisture in the air. He truly is the most breathtaking person Dazai has ever had the displeasure of meeting. 

With Chuuya at his chest, he leans down and kisses the man. It's needy, in a way. Soft and tender, but full of so much want, so much need. Like if he couldn't be close to Chuuya anymore, he would simply explode. Dazai doesn't know how to express it though. How he would articulate these thoughts in a way that feels right, so he settles for something simple. Maybe it's not as meaningful, but he trusts that Chuuya understands anyway. 

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #dazai x chuuya #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #chuuya x dazai #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #❀.writing #❀.drabbles

[the-red-butterfly]

Not-Yet-Written-Fics Game

Tagged by @fishing4stars to reveal my not-yet-written fics.

This is fantastic actually the amount of things I have on the back burner is HUGE I'll have to pick and choose, oh dear.

For Your Life Hate Me (Twilight) As story about Carlisle and Jasper (very self indulgent) where they get kidnaped by María and forced to fight (like in Jasper's old days). To keep Carlisle alive Jasper is forced to do some not nice things that horrify Carlisle but he'll do them to keep the man who took him in safe, even if Carlisle hates Jasper in the end.

The Adventures of Young Man Henry Winchester and his Violent Grandsons (Supernatural) Henry Winchester survives his death by Abadon! And now he has to get used to modern life without his family. It is extremely painful and sometimes his grandsons are no help. The start of their relationship is very rocky but it'll eventually lead to better days. I'm very fond of this one.

It's The Ashy Taste Of Sacrifice (One Piece) Sanji and Zoro get turned into animals and (spoilers) in the end Sanji has to bear the brunt of this happening and suffer a life as a fox. The premise is silly but I promise you the contents are not. I am making this boy SUFFER and that is just a universal constant. Full of platonic friendship and hurt/comfort ✨And Zoro being a better bro to Sanji.

To Look Like Her (One Piece) And to keep up with the point before. This is a story about Sanji self sabotaging his body because he realizes that when he's sick he looks like his mother and he wants to KEEP that look. It does not end well for anyone. The Straw Hats get rightfully very pissed and concerned about this.

Mending The Tears One Spoonful At The Time (Sam Rami Spider-man) This is just a whole ass ploy to better the friendship between Peter and Harry. Harry realizes something is off with Peter when he notices his friend is ALWAYS hungry. When Harry offers help Peter's pride gets in the way and Harry has to devise ways to secretly help Peter.

Homeward Bound From The Sea (Frozen) Frozen AU where Agnarr survives the shipwreck but is lost for some years in an island until he's eventually found by a fishing-ship. He gets rescued and returned home but things are hard for father and daughters equally. Full of Agnarr!whump and everyone having to adapt to this new reality. Kind of non-verbal Agnarr in this one.

When Doriath Fell (Silmarillion/Tolkien) AU where Dior and Elured and Elurin survive BUT actually Dior did die he just came back wrong. So Dior raises his children as a feral creatures in the forest surrounding Menegroth. But Elured and Elurin sort of have to take care of their father as well because the man is not well. Of course, this thing is full of angst what did you expect?

The Price Of Freedom (Sandman) Hob rescues Dream from the fishbowl of doom and Dream thinks he needs to repay him with devotion and love (just like he did with Alianora). Surprisingly shippy but not really? HobxDream is not endgame at any rate, but Dream is convinced that's how he needs to repay his friend for saving him. Very angsty, the sky is blue, next.

Reverse 'Verse (Firefly) Another AU (of course) where instead of River being taken and brainwashed it is Simon who becomes the mortal weapon/assassin. And in turn it is River who has to take care of him and escape. Lots of sibiling feels.

I have so many, so so many, but i better not drag them up into the surface less I get tempted into working on them XD but here are some honorable mentions of ofter fandoms I have wips in: SPD Power Rangers (don't laugh), Batman, Hocus Pocus and a ton for Criminal Minds.

If you feel like asking about any of these drop me an ask and I might feel inclined to doodle something about it 😂

No pressure tags: @arlenianchronicles @slightly-crimson-tornado @bad-at-names-and-faces @loonysama @byrambles @i-did-not-mean-to

#Abril writes #tag game #tagging friends #Sanji #One Piece #Firefly #Simon Tam #River Tam #Sandman #Dream of the Endless #Hob Gadling #Silmarillion #Dior Eluchil #Elured #Elurin #Henry Winchester #Supernatural #Twilight #Carlisle Cullen #Jasper Hale #Frozen #Agnarr #Peter Parker #Sam Rami Spider-man #Harry Osborn

[sunberry-strawflower]

#curtissonweek2023

Here's my entry for day 2 of @blue-fanlady's curtisson week! I genuinely didn't know if I'd finish this in time but I DID IT!! Like day 1's fic, this one also went to hell in back but in different ways😭it's incredibly messy, but I tried and I think that's gotta count for something haha

Yes this is a typical type of overworking fic--I wasn't sure what else to do with the prompt sadly😔

Despite this, I hope you enjoy!

Possible CW(s): descriptions of fainting? Or the process of. Also multiple mentions of lack of sleep and eating. If any of these make you uncomfortable please don't read this.

Word count: 3.8k

Curtisson Week Day 2: Paperwork

"Are you sure you shouldn't rest a little?"

"Yes, Burt, I'm sure."

Burt sighed as his boyfriend once again brushed off his concerns. Sven was doing paperwork for The Toppat Clan. He recently got promoted to the leader position of his job under his own will because the previous leader and his Right Hand Man got arrested. Nobody else wanted to step up, so Sven decided, well, somebody had to do it. 

However, he's been trying too hard to balance paperwork, the rocket plan, and managing the Toppat's all at once. It doesn't help that he doesn't have a right hand man like the previous leaders did. 

He's been overworking himself and there's little Burt can do about it, which upsets him.

Sven is stubborn. If he feels something needs to be done, he needs it to be done right then. 

Burt tries to talk to him about it, but Sven always claims it's fine and not to worry about it. But with his constant sleepless nights, noticeably snappier temper, constant headaches, and lack of energy and motivation to do anything other than work, work, work…Burt couldn't help but worry.

They haven't spent much time together lately either. Not just with him, but his relationships with his fellow Toppat members have been suffering. 

He understood work can be stressful, especially if you're the leader of a massive criminal organization, but did Sven really need to push himself this hard? 

Burt just looked at Sven with hints of concern as he continued to sign and flip through more and more paperwork. "Well, just…don't work too hard, alright?"

Burt didn't stay to see if Sven would answer him or not and just left the room, closing the door behind him. 

Before Sven was promoted to leader, yes, he did have a tendency to overwork, but it never got this bad. And Burt was always there for him during those times. Always there to remind him to take care of himself. And more often than not, Sven remembered to at least take care of his own needs. 

He was a lot more cheerful, friendly, and happier. He would smile that pretty smile Burt loved so, so much. And on the times he did overwork, Burt talked to him about it. He was able to help him get out of that constant work cycle. Even if just for a little bit. 

This time, though, it was much worse. Sven hadn't been listening to Burt's concerns at all. He would say he'd get sleep, say he'd eat decently, say he'd take a break, but Burt can tell he hasn't done any of those things, and he doesn't know what else he could possibly do. He was stuck at a brick wall here. 

He stood there with his back to the door for a bit, looking down in thought. "Oh, Sven…" he whispered to himself. "I don't know what to do…"

-------

Carol walked into the cafeteria to get some lunch, planning on taking it back to her office. She walked up to the counter and looked at the options. Looks like she's a little late because everyone seemed to have taken all of the good stuff. She shrugs and settles for a simple but filling beef sandwich. Once she finished making the sandwich and put it on her plate, she turned to the doorway so she could leave. However, she couldn't help but notice Burt sitting at a table all alone, having barely touched his food. Now, it wasn't unusual for Burt to eat alone. In fact, he preferred it. 

Carol, Burt, and Sven all used to hang out quite a bit (sometimes with other Toppats as well) when they all had the time, which admittedly wasn't too much but it was enough to satisfy them. Carol knew Burt well and while he does tend to look a little uninterested or bored, resting bitch face and all that, this was different. Very noticeably, in Carol's eyes. 

He was sulken, with an unreadable expression on his face. He had a nice warm bowl of tomato soup in front of him. One of his favorites. And yet he's barely touched it at all. He occasionally lifted the spoon and looked into the red broth it had, like he was considering finally starting on his dish, but then he decided against it and would slowly lower the spoon back into the bowl. 

Carol knew exactly what was going on. She's seen it too. She noticed Sven's overworking himself more and more. He wasn't as energetic, his temper was all over the place, he never left his office and whenever he did, Carol could see just how exhausted he was. 

His overworking really took a toll on the three's friendship, along with Burt and Sven's relationship.

Carol finally decided she's had enough with watching them crumble down to pieces and made her way towards Burt, sitting down on the bench opposite from him. 

Burt glanced up at her, but didn't say anything.

"Your food is going to get cold, you know." She said, 

Burt sighed again. "Yeah, I know."

Carol sat there for a few seconds, thinking about what to say. 

"I understand you're upset about Sven," She said bluntly. "But just sulking in the cafeteria isn't helping at all."

Burt nodded. "I know."

Carol looked at Burt with a sharp expression. "Have you said or done anything?"

Burt glared at Carol. "What do you think? Of course I have.

"Like what?"

"The things I usually did when he was overworking himself. Reassured him, reminded him that he doesn't need to work too hard, that his health comes first," He said. "It took a bit of time because, well, you know how stubborn he can be. But eventually with enough reassurance and comfort, he would start to relax, even if just a little."

Carol hummed. "And none of that's worked?"

Burt shook his head. "No. He claims to eat decently and sleep, but he doesn't look like he does at all. I know he doesn't want me to worry, but I can't help it…" Burt buried his face in his hands.

Carol didn't say anything. She realized her food would get cold if she just sat here, so she took a few bites of her sandwich. 

Burt looked up at her and noticed she hadn't responded and kept eating on her sandwich. He then looked down at his soup, it had gone cold and transparent, he could almost see his reflection in the broth. He slowly pushed the bowl away and went to stand up. 

"Burt."

Burt looked to Carol, who was staring at him with a solemn expression. "Maybe mere words won't be enough to help him this time."

Burt raised an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean? Are you saying me and Sven aren't affectionate enough?"

Carol shook her head. "Oh, no, that is not what I mean at all." Carol already knew Sven and Burt tended to be very affectionate towards each other. 

"Well, then what?"

"What I mean is, just telling him not to overwork himself isn't going to do anything. You'll have to do something. Even if it's by force."

Burt noticeably flinched at the 'force' part. "No, no. If I force him away, he'll get angry," He said. "Besides, isn't that a bit, well, forceful? I don't think being aggressive will help at all."

"Who said it was aggressive?" She questioned. "Forcing him away doesn't necessarily mean you have to do anything drastic like snatching things from him."

Burt still didn't seem to understand where Carol was going with this. Sven takes his work very seriously. Forcing it away will only make him upset, especially with his already messy temper. 

"Just be firm. Be serious." She said simply. "He really does love you, you know?"

Burt just sighed and nodded, turning to leave the cafeteria. Carol let her eyes follow him until he was out of sight, and turned back to eat her sandwich. 

------

Once Burt left the cafeteria, he walked down the hallway, not entirely sure where he was going. It was quiet, aside from occasionally hearing somebody typing on their keyboard loudly in one room or the sound of rummaging through paperwork in another. That sound reminded him of not so fun things. 

He kept thinking back to what Carol said earlier. Was she trying to give advice?

You have to actually do something. Even if it's by force. 

Who did she think he was? He HAS been doing something. Everything he felt like he could. Why did Carol feel like his efforts weren't enough? 

And by force? What did that even mean? 

Forcing him away doesn't necessarily mean you have to do anything drastic like snatching things from him. 

He knew that much, but he couldn't think of any ways to force Sven away from work without making him mad. 

Just be firm. Be serious. 

He HAS been being serious. He's been very direct with Sven about how he feels with his habit of overworking. At least, he thought he was being direct. Sven seemed to get the hint (most of the time). 

He really does love you, you know? 

Of course Sven loved him. Sven loved Burt. Burt loved him too. That's why it hurt so much seeing him like this. Especially when he felt there was nothing he could do. 

He started to walk a little slower the closer he got to Sven's office. He didn't even realize he was slowing down his pace until he found himself right in front of the office door. He lifted his fist up, letting it hover. He was contemplating whether or not to knock on it. Whether or not he wanted to try and get Sven to rest for probably the thousandth time since he became leader. 

He took a deep breath and knocked three times before letting himself in. "Sven, we need to talk."

Sven didn't look in Burt's direction. "Not now, Burt. I'm busy."

Burt was mentally hit with so many emotions at that response. Maybe more than he should've been. 

"But, Sven, I–"

"Burt, this is important, I can't drop it right now." Sven interrupted him. 

Burt didn't care how important that work was right now. The most important thing was Sven's health. And he wanted Sven to understand that more than anything. 

He started thinking maybe Carol was right. He had to be a little forceful in order to get Sven  even the slightest bit willing to listen to him. 

He took a few steps to where Sven was sitting and tried again. "Sven, this is important."

Sven went to reach for more paperwork to sign. "I'm sorry, but I have to–"

Before he could finish, he felt Burt grip his wrist. He wasn't gripping hard enough for it to hurt, but it was enough to where he couldn't do much with his hand. He flushed when he felt Burt wrap his hand around his wrist, but he was also slightly annoyed. What was up with him right now? 

He looked up at Burt who had a firm, serious expression. However, under that expression, there was concern. A lot of it. 

"Sven," He repeated his name. "Please."

Sven didn't know whether he should listen to Burt or not. He looked like he really needed to talk to him, but he needed to get his work done as well. He couldn't leave it unfinished. 

Before Sven could properly respond, he felt Burt gently pull him up from his chair. "Burt?" 

Burt didn't say anything and led Sven out of his office. Once they got out, Burt just now realized  he didn't know where to take him, but they couldn't have this conversation in his office, because Sven would probably try and start working again while Burt was trying to talk. They couldn't talk in the middle of the hallway either, though. 

"Burt, what are you doing? Can you…" Sven felt his sentence trail off for seemingly no reason. He wanted to try and get out of Burt's grasp, but having finally stood up from his chair, he realized just how exhausted he was and he didn't think he had the energy to resist.

Burt started walking towards his own room. Not an office, but his actual bedroom. He felt that was the best place to go to talk about this right now. 

Sven started to try and make an effort to resist and get out of Burt's grasp, even if most of his efforts would end up futile. He had to at least try. Burt just took him away from his office without telling him a thing! 

The only response Burt gave to his efforts was gripping his wrist tighter. Again, not enough to hurt him, but enough for it to be harder for Sven to slip out of his grasp. He's already gotten this far and he wasn't going to let Sven get away before properly talking to him. 

He finally made it to his bedroom, took Sven in with him, and closed the door behind them.

He loosened the grip on Sven's wrist, but didn't let go. 

Now Sven was more than just a little annoyed. Burt forcefully dragged him over to his room and hadn't explained a thing. 

"Okay, I'm here now. What is it you want to talk about?" He asked, scowling slightly. 

"I want to talk about you overworking." Burt said. 

That was what he wanted Sven over here for? Are you serious??

Sven refused to believe he was overworking. He was not. He was just doing his job. Being a leader was hard work. Reginald could do it so why couldn't he? 

"Burt, I've told you a million times," Sven groaned. "I'm not overworking myself. I'm fine."

Burt let go of Sven's wrist and put both of his hands on his shoulders. "Sven, I'm serious. This amount of work isn't healthy for you." He said. Sven still wouldn't budge, but Burt was going to be persuasive. 

"I can handle it!" He said, and tried to force Burt's hands off of his shoulders. He held his grip. Sven could not handle it. Nobody could handle that amount of work. At least not all in one sitting. Everyone needed to rest eventually. Sven seemed to make himself think otherwise. 

"No you can't!" Burt cried. Probably the loudest he's been in a while, but Sven didn't seem to take note of this. All he cared about was leaving this conversation and getting back into his office. "You've been skipping meals, not getting any sleep–" Burt stressed.

"Bu-But I have! I've told you a million times, haven't I?" Sven started shaking, and he wasn't sure why. He wasn't scared, or shaking in anger. He just wanted this to be over. Burt noticed this and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. 

"No, you haven't. I know you haven't…" Burt said. "You need to–"

Sven didn't want to hear it. "No! I don't need to do anything. I'm fine. I'm alright."

"No you're not!" He couldn't hold back his voice as it started to break. Was there really nothing he could do about this? He had to resist the urge to shake Sven by the shoulders. He didn't want him to feel more overwhelmed than he probably already was.

"Why are you being so persistent??" Sven complained. He tried to get Burt's hands off his shoulders again, this time being successful. Burt stepped back, his hands awkwardly in the air. Sven sighed. "If I tell you I'm fine, then I am. End of story." His legs started to feel weak, but he ignored it. 

Burt let his arms fall down to his sides, with an expression that looked like a mix of sadness and frustration. He looked into Sven's eyes. They looked…wrong. Something didn't feel right. Other than the bags under them. They seemed to drift ever so slightly, and Sven didn't look like he was doing it consciously. 

 This was a little concerning, and Burt felt like it had to do with his lack of sleep and eating. "Sven, I'm serious. You really need to lie down." 

Sven shook his head. "I'm fine–" he muttered, before he felt himself tumble over. Instead of falling on the carpeted floor, though, he felt something warm on his back. Burt's arms were keeping him standing steadily. 

He felt himself getting weaker and he felt awfully dizzy all of a sudden. His ears were ringing and he could feel everything and nothing at the same time. 

He could tell Burt was saying something, but he couldn't hear what it was. It just sounded like white noise under the ringing in his ears. 

What the hell happened? He was fine a moment ago.

Burt gently sat him on the bed and left the room. Probably not a good idea because Sven could just get up and walk back to his office without Burt stopping him. But he was way too out of it to even think about going back to work. He couldn't hear anything and his vision was still blurry. If he were to even try to go back, he'd more than likely pass out. 

Sven had no idea what was happening. One second, they were arguing about work, then the next, he felt his senses go numb and his legs give out. It was all so sudden. He missed Burt's comforting presence already, despite everything that had happened a few minutes ago. 

Now that he was sitting down and resting, the dizziness had subsided just the slightest bit. He still felt weak, though, so he just sat there and waited. Either for Burt to get back or for him to feel  better enough to leave. 

He heard soft footsteps and assumed that it was Burt coming back. He walked in with a bottle of water and shut the door. He sat down next to Sven and looked at him with the same amount of concern as earlier, albeit for different reasons this time. 

"Please drink something." Burt said as he handed the bottle of water to him. Sven took it and drank a bit. He started feeling a little better and sighed with relief. 

Burt wasn't fully comforted by the amount he drank, though. "Can you drink more?" He asked gently. While it was alright if he couldn't, Burt would prefer if Sven could get a little more in his system. Even if it was just water.

Sven gave Burt a soft look before nodding. He was worried about him and he understood that now. He took a few more sips before letting Burt take it back. 

That was odd and scary. Sven had never had a spell like that before. It was so out of nowhere too. They both calmed down from arguing. 

"Sven…" Burt started. "After seeing that, it's pretty apparent you haven't been taking care of yourself at all."

Sven couldn't refute anything at this point. Burt knew better, and Sven should've known that. "I just…" he let his voice trail off, not knowing what he wanted to say. He felt tears well up in his eyes, his emotions were all over the place. 

Burt frowned at this and put his hand on top of Sven's. "Are you okay?" He asked, which was honestly a stupid question because no Sven was not okay, but he didn't know what else to say. 

Sven tried to hold it in, now feeling mentally weak for crying. Burt noticed this and gave him a reassuring look. "You can cry. It's okay."

Sven broke down then and there. He clung onto Burt and sobbed into his shirt. He's a failure. A failure to his boyfriend for making him worry, a failure to his friends for neglecting them, a failure to Reginald and Right Hand Man who would've trusted him to do better. 

Burt wrapped his arms around him as he cried. "Hey, it's okay…" he soothed him. 

Sven responded by clinging onto his shirt tighter and tried to speak through his sobbing. "I'm sorry, Burt. I can't do this anymore! I feel terrible!" He cried. "I should've worked harder! For the previous leaders, for the clan, for you…"

"Sven…," Burt muttered. "Look at me. Hey, look at me." he said gently, tilting Sven's chin up so he could see him properly. Tears were still streaming down his cheeks and he just looked miserable. "No, you shouldn't have worked harder. In fact, I'd say the opposite." He said. "Like I said, I know you're not taking care of yourself, which caused you to faint. You don't have to work harder for anybody. You've worked hard enough."

Sven couldn't bring it in himself to say anything. He's heard everything he's needed to hear at this point. He's worked hard enough. He buried his face back into Burt's shirt and kept crying. 

Once he finally calmed down, he lifted his head up from his boyfriend's shirt, letting out a sniffle every few seconds. 

"I'm sorry… for making you worry and…and for–"

Burt gently hushed him, reassuring him that it was okay. "You don't have to apologize, Sven. Really. I'm sorry for making you upset but you need to remember your health comes before anything. Including work. Okay?"

Sven nodded. Burt didn't upset him. He was just feeling overwhelmed and upset about everything else, but he was finding it hard to speak now. 

Burt kept his arms wrapped around him to assure him that he was okay. They were both okay. And they'd figure this out together. He gave him a soft kiss on the forehead. "I love you. You know that, right?"

Sven nodded and relaxed in Burt's arms. "I love you too. So much."

They sat there for a bit in each other's arms, Sven barely even having the urge to work at the moment. He felt himself begin to drift off. He tried to fight it, but it was getting harder and harder. 

Burt noticed this (he seems to notice a lot of things about Sven) and chuckled. "It's alright. You can sleep now. In fact, you should sleep now." Burt whispered. Sven was about to argue, but he felt his eyes grow heavy once more. His boyfriend's relaxing voice did not help at all.

Burt was hoping Sven would sleep. Especially after fainting due to lack of food and exhaustion and crying his heart out in his arms. There's no way he's not tired. "Sven, please."

Sven begrudgingly let himself give in. "Alright…"

A few seconds later, Sven finally let his eyes close and rest for who knows how long. 

Tomorrow, Burt was going to try and get Sven to eat and develop a healthier work cycle, but for now, he's just happy his boyfriend is letting himself sleep. He closed his eyes and let himself drift off as well. Both of them finally getting the rest they both desperately needed. 

_______________________________________________________

I forgot to do this yesterday so don't mind me doing it today—

#it's literally 11pm over here I barely made it #but what matters is that I did🙏 #now here's to me hoping day 3 will be better #it should be fine as the idea I have for it is simple and fluffy :] #this fic was kind of self-indulgent but not really #also I hope the description of fainting was realistic enough--I've had numerous fainting spells and that's how it felt for me #but it could feel different for other ppl so hejdjrfj #shoutout to carol for coming in to eat a sandwich and giving the most vague advice before leaving the story forever #I honestly lost my motivation to keep writing this towards the end so it's hella rushed am sorry #thsc #the henry stickmin collection #sven svensson #curtissonweek2023 #burt curtis #cross posted on ao3 #curtisson #henry stickmin collection

[broken-egg-yolk-blog]

part one part two

Nico truly hoped Will was right. He kept claiming that as soon as the summer campers left everything would all settle down. Nico felt as if he needed that more than ever. Despite the last week of summer being significantly less eventful as most weeks, it did not stop it from being chaotic. Some campers chose to spend their last few days of camp relaxing and hanging about with their friends they wouldn’t see until next year. Others spent their time pulling last minute pranks, or using every given opportunity to exploit their demi-godly privileges until their last chance.

Friday is seemingly when reality hit. On Sunday most of the campers would pack up their belongings and head home for the school year, leaving behind their second home and their friends. This year Nico was staying for good. A mixture of emotions swelled within him. Anxiety, what if people still held grudges against him? What if they didn’t actually want him to stay at all? Sadness, his closest friends were leaving to go back to school. Sure he had some people, including Will-obviously, but the idea of losing the people he had just gained opened a wound in his heart he wasn’t prepared for. Much to his confusion, Nico also felt excited. He finally had a home. A solid, reliable home, complete with people he cared about and got to spend time with.

Will hiked up the hill to meet him. He sat down in the grass next to Nico with a slight sigh. Whenever Will sat down next to him Nico couldn’t help but notice that he sat fairly close. Close enough that their knees, or elbows, or sometimes even their hands, would bump into and brush against one another. Nico, not so secretly, enjoyed it. It was nice having someone that wasn’t afraid to be near him, someone that didn’t see him as inherently dangerous or evil. 

“Hi,” Nico says.

Will glances over at him, that soft permanent smile making Nico feel compelled to return it, “Hey, death boy.”

Nico rolled his eyes lightly, he’d long since grown used to the nickname but he couldn’t help but find it mildly ridiculous every time.

“How is the infirmary?”

“Forecast says it probably won’t burn down,” Will jokes, “assuming the Stoll brothers keep it together for another forty-eight hours.”

“That is a lot to ask of them you know,” Nico met his eyes, he had been practicing eye contact with Jason earlier that day. Despite his attempts to prove Will wrong, Nico felt the strong urge to pull his focus away. Will’s eyes were way different than Jasons. There was so much more to looking at him, it made Nico’s body burn beneath his skin.

“Yeah, well, they owe me a few favors,” Will replied, his gaze tracing Nico’s face in a way that made him want to turn away and hide forever, yet simultaneously never look away. 

Nico smiled at Will, the eye contact burning a hole between them. Will was the first to look away, Nico would be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved, something about it held an intensity Nico hadn’t been ready for, but the absence of it left him craving more. A comfortable silence settled between the two of them as they took turns looking out over the scene of camp below them and stealing gazes of the other when they were not looking. 

Nico thought that Will had an unfair advantage when it came to looks. He felt as if he was nothing truly special, he definitely wasn’t the worst looking but when compared to Will, let’s just say he didn’t think they even belonged on the same measuring scale. Especially now, in the afternoon light, finally relaxing after a day of work, Will looked incredible. His messy blonde hair clumped into curls falling just below his law line, summer tanned skin radiating warmth, his skin decorated with an excess of freckles from a well spent summer.

“Will,”

“Yeah?” Nico could see him gaze over from the corner of his eye but he kept his gaze locked on the horizon.

“You’re from Texas, right?”

“Indeed,” Will smiled, sounding slightly confused. Nico just hummed in response. A beat of silence held between them. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, I just-” Nico bit his lip, realizing now how stupid it sounded, “was curious?”

“About something you already knew?”

“Yes.” That, somehow, made Will laugh, which caused a flood of warmth to spread through Nico’s body as their legs bumped together.

“Do you want to know more about it?” 

More about you, Nico thought, “Yes.”

“Okay what do you want to know?”  Will asked, sounding incredibly amused. He shifted his body so that he was facing Nico more, their legs partially intertwined, crossed at the ankles. Will didn’t seem to notice, or at least he didn’t seem to mind.

Fuck, Nico chided to himself. He hadn’t thought this far in advance. He racked his brain for questions about Texas. He only ever knew one other person from Texas, Leo Valdez. The name brought a wave of sadness through Nico but he pushed it away, refusing to dwell on it right now. Leo was definitely not the prime example of a proper Texan, but it was all Nico had to work with. 

“Do you have one of those hats?” Nico blurted out, it was a stupid question. The first thing that had come to his mind was a memory of a running joke between Jason, Piper and Leo about him needing some type of hat to actually count as an Texan. Will would absolutely think he was stupid.

Instead of berating him, Will laughed again. “You mean a cowboy hat?”

“Yes, one of those.”

“You tell me you want to learn more about Texas, then your first question is ‘do you have a cowboy hat?’” 

“Obviously.” Nico layered his voice with as much confidence as he could.

“What type of question is that?”

“Well I heard that you're not a real Texan if you don't own one.”

“Where did you even hear that?” Will grinned, his face shining with exasperation.

“That’s not important.” Nico was gaining more reassurance, as he often did when conversations like this took off between the two of them.

“I think it might be, someone here is clearly spreading false information.”

“So then you don’t have one?”

“That is not what I said.” Will shot him a look, one that said ‘be careful here or you might just get tackled’. Nico was willing to push his luck.

“Sure sounds like it, sunshine.” That luck Nico was just thinking about? Pushed.

Will scoffed, both surprised and amused. “Fine. I do.”

“You do what?” Nico blinked at him.

“Oh don’t play stupid,” 

“I simply do not know what you are talking about, Solace.”

Will grit his teeth, eyes sparkling. “I own a cowboy hat.”

“No way! Are you from Texas?” Nico gasped.

“Oh you are such an asshole,” 

“You deserve it.”

“Trust me I have gotten enough shit over that hat, my mom made me take it to camp with me.” Will sighed dramatically, “She said ‘no good country artist mother would leave her baby to fend for himself without the proper attire,’. Lee and Micheal used to bully the living daylight out of me over it.”

Nico found himself laughing at the story. He imagined a young Will, showing up to Camp Half-Blood cowboy hat sat upon his head. It was a glorious image. 

“Do you still have it?” Nico asked, still grinning at the mental image.

“Yeah, tucked under my bunk.” Will shook his head, not trying to hide the smile on his own face.

A thought popped into Nico’s head, “Oh please tell me you have those boots too!”

“Gods no!” Will cried out, the two boys nearly fell over each other laughing. “I am not that southern.”

“Maybe when you’re tired, or mad.”

“What?”

“Your accent, it’s more noticeable when you’re tired or mad.” Immediately after saying this Nico worried if he crossed the line from friend, into weird stalker.

“I do not. Have an accent.” Will’s voice was more dramatically shocked than stern. Nico relaxed a little bit. 

“Oh you so do.”

“Fine, but so do you.”

“What?!” That earned a grin from the other boy.

“Only on certain words, usually the really italian ones, you can’t help but pronounce them correctly.” Will looked smug, his eyes narrow and smirk wide. Nico couldn’t help but blush. Will had a point.

“Fine then,” He decided, “We’re even.”

“Hmph.” Will thinks for a moment, “My turn-”

“Your turn?” Nico blurts out, cutting him off.

“Yes, you asked me a question. Now I get to ask you a question.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works-”

“It is now, I make the rules.” Will cut Nico off this time, “Your clothes, the whole edgy ‘too emo for school’ vibe, is that a cabin requirement? Or personal preference?”

Nico rolled his eyes. Piper and Percy had explained to him what emo meant a few weeks before, the first time Will had called him that. 

“It’s personal preference, I think. It just matches how I feel I guess. I think I would feel like a complete loser and a total fraud in khaki shorts and an orange shirt.” Nico tried to hide his smirk on the last line.

“Yeah okay, that makes-” Will realized Nico’s attack, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh nothing, you flip flop wearing fool”

“They’re so much more comfortable, my feet overheat too much otherwise.”

“I am so sure they do.” Nico had to admit, Will’s tone did sound pretty convincing. 

“Whatever, so you just like the dark edgy clothes?”

“Yep.”

“Interesting,” Will paused for a moment before matter-of-factly stating: “I like them too.”

Nico’s face burnt red. “What?” He sputtered out.

“I said I like them too, they look good on you.” Will looked over Nico, as if studying his composure of dark wash jeans and black shirt. “It suits you.”

Nico forced himself to regain his composure, he needed to make some type of step forwards. He couldn’t keep letting Will fluster him and then run away.

“Well, I think you’d look really good in that hat of yours.” The words slipped from his mouth and nearly took the contents of his stomach with them. 

“Really?” Will asked, obviously caught off guard. 

“Oh yeah, I can see it now. It’d be great.”

Will blushed, a sight that invoked feelings within Nico that he wanted to chase for the rest of his life. Nico knew there was no turning back now. He was absolutely in over his head for this boy.

“My turn,” Nico said, not giving Will a chance to respond. “Apollo’s thing is music, right? Do you play an instrument?”

“Technically?” Will replied, still apparently recovering, “I mean I know quite a few, I’d say I’m the best at guitar out of all of them but music hasn’t ever really been my thing.”

“Right,”

“I’m not bad at it by any means but I am nowhere near as good as Austin, I guess we all have our field that we really excel in.” 

“Naturally,” Nico nodded.

“Why?”

“You always ask follow-up questions to my questions.” Nico stated, watching Will carefully.

“Does it annoy you?” Will asked.

“A little bit.” Nico was not telling the truth, Will didn’t need to know that.

“Good.” He grinned.

“Okay well, you never really lead many of the campfire songs like your siblings do, I was curious again I guess.” Nico watched the other boy's face as he spoke, seeing him think through his response, watching the words formulate in his head.

“In all honesty,” Will said, that resting smile occupying his face, “It’s because they don’t like the music that I listen to as much.”

“Is it country music?” Nico had asked this seriously, but Will must have taken it as a joke because he rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Not entirely,” He shook his head lightly, his golden hair fanning out and settling back down again, “I like a lot of midwest emo,”

Nico must have looked really lost, and honestly he was. He knew what the word ‘emo’ meant but midwest emo? Those words didn’t even have meaning. 

“I’ll explain it to you some other time” Will promised.

“You’ll just have to show me.” Nico shrugged, his false confidence from earlier still sitting in his gut.

“What now you want me to serenade you too?” Will looked at Nico, moving ever so slightly closer as he asked, his tone had a hint of challenge to it. 

“Yes.” Nico replied bluntly. “Preferably with the cowboy hat on.”

“You ask too much of me.” Will barely shook his head, eyes still locked on the boy in front of him.

“Always. But you know,” He let his eyes slip from Will’s piercing gaze down to his lips, then immediately back up to his eyes, “It would do wonders for that charm of yours.”

With that, Nico stood up. He let whatever stupid confidence was flowing within him carry him away, back down the hill, feeling as if he was floating. Leaving the son of Apollo still dumbstruck in the grass, and very slight, incredibly, impressed.

#heroes of olympus #percy jackson #pjo hoo toa #pjo #solangelo #solangelo fic #nico di angelo #will solace #i actually didn’t proof read this #again #mildly self indulgent #okay maybe very self indulgent #this ended up being kind of really long #its fine it is mostly dialogue #i have plans #big big plans #keep an eye out for part 4

[pizzaqueen]

Oh and I started writing the ace!Eddie fic I mentioned the other week. I have the first part drafted and it could stand on its own but it would be very bittersweet and that’s not entirely my jam, so I’ve planned a second part and need at least a third.

I’m just trying to reconcile how I usually write Steve with the Steve I want in this fic (sexual compatibility is very important to me so he’s not how I usually see Steve for that to work) and I’m not 100% I can make it feel right to me but fingers crossed!

#steddie #sorry I’m very chatty atm #the huge anxiety I’ve felt since the end of September has lifted and now I’m really chipper 🤣 #but yeah I personally just need fic about ace characters to be more reflective of my experience? #just because of my own hang ups I find it hard to read certain stuff in ace fic and I’m writing this to be self indulgent lol #I just don’t know if I can make this Steve feel like Steve if that makes sense #i know I never write smut but I still tend to imagine them both wanting and having sex #and usually once I latch onto a thing that’s it lmao #so this is kind of a challenge but yeah idk I don’t need to write all this lol #pizzaqueenwrites

[transvampireboyfriend]

"so when are your parents gone, exactly?" Eddie asks

"in a week." Steve tells him. It's the first time Eddie's coming over since they got together, at least to stay the night, and he never really stayed over after movie nights or parties before then, he guesses that's why Steve seemed a little nervous when he asked him.

"you don't have to go if you think it's weird." Steve adds, scrunching up his face "I know the house is too big and cold and ...ugly"

Eddie's expression has been falling as Steve talked. He tilts his head to the side now with a deep frown and makes a point of gently grabbing Steve's face, one hand at a time, looks into his eyes.

"No place can be those things for me if it has you in it" Eddie says sincerely, sees the deep blush start on Steve's cheeks and kisses him before he can hide.

Steve earnestly kisses him back and then still hides afterwards, tucking his warm face into Eddie's neck, their bodies slotting together like puzzle pieces.

Eddie hugs him from underneath his arms, slowly rubs his shoulder blades and caresses down his back, content to pet Steve until he decides he's ready to come back.

Sometimes they'll have whole conversations like this, Eddie always makes a point of squeezing Steve when he starts untangling himself, shows him he enjoys the contact and wants it as much as Steve does.

This time, Steve asks as soon as they're face to face again: "so you'll stay over?" and Eddie gives him a small sweet kiss, drags Steve's bottom lip down with his thumb afterwards as he says "yeah, baby. in a week then" and kisses him again, reassuring.

#steddie #steddie headcanon #steddie fic #stranger things #this is ...WILDLY self indulgent i apologize if it's ooc #i basically treat them as my ocs 😬 #also this was kind of but not really inspired by Adure's ''there are things I'd like to do'' on ao3 #just don't think that's ooc. it's not. it's wonderful and i highly recommend it i love it with my whole heart #Steve is nervous to ask Eds to his house in that fic too but for different reasons i think #and their personalities are v different there than what I indulgently write them as #so go read that it's much better #it's wonderful #and leave em kudos and comments #ok. bye #touchy needy steve my beloved #.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Question: if I started writing an original work and posted it on ao3, would anyone read it?

#I’ve had an idea for quite a while now but I don’t really care to see it published for real since it’s entirely self-indulgent… #I mean I think I might write it for me after all as practice #it’s kind of a mess so I’d be working on it as I go along but. Yeah #idk if a story about some messed up triplets with kind of solid light powers sounds interesting to you guys but it won’t leave my brain… #Not to worry! I am still writing my bsd fics!!! I’ve just been really busy with life stuff… and drained when I’m not… I’m trying promise :) #storyrambles

[whenim64]

Do you have any jonesmith headcanons (or just lil thoughts)?

I accidentally ended up doing a Mike character analysis instead of cute headcanons oops

My general headcanon is Mike gay Davy bi (I’m not strict about these types of headcanons tho). I think Mike realized he was gay before even moving to L.A. and joining the Monkees, and maybe that’s partly why he wanted to get out of his small hick town. I think growing up in a small conservative hick town would have a major effect on his acceptance of his sexuality. Plus the time period and being raised religious he would have insane guilt and self disgust and shove all of it into a tiny box and lock it away in the back of his brain. Once he moved to L.A. he would get way better about it, especially during the era of hippies bc even tho it’s still not legal people are way more chill and open about it and seeing that would allow him to reflect on it and accept it, BUT I think he would still have a lot of personal internalized homophobia to work through. I actually think he’d probably still be dealing with it even after he and Davy get together, but I don’t have any actual deep thoughts on the topic (bc I tend to only think about them in a fluffy/happy way,,, BUT if you happen to have thoughts on this I would love to hear them).

Davy hmm, I’ve read fics where he knew he was into guys when he lived in England and it’s just never come up bc getting with girls is easier, but I kinda like the idea of him not knowing until he falls for Mike. Actually I was just thinking earlier about him having a starry eyes + butterflies moment upon meeting Mike and not realizing he has feelings for him bc he’s never had feelings for a guy before so he just assumes it’s admiration bc Mike is so cool and mature and handsome and wonderful.

When they first get together Davy wants so badly to impress/woo Mike, which is silly bc they’ve been living together for years so Mike has seen him at his best and worst moments (grumpy, pissed off, upset, sick, he’s seen it all) and is still in love with him. Mike sees this happening and just goes along with it bc Davy is so cute trying to be all charming and gentlemanly, and while it doesn’t make him swoon in the same way it does all the girls Davy used to date it does give Mike a bubbly I’m in love with a huge dork feeling.

I know I’ve said that Mike def uses cute nicknames for Davy but I actually think verbal intimacy could be difficult for him, at least in terms of actually saying the words I love you (maybe he uses cute nicknames bc its an easier way to express his feelings than saying i love you 🤔)  I think this is an interesting dynamic for them since Davy’s thing is “hi my name is Davy Jones and I love you”. Davy might try to hold off saying it in fear that it will frighten Mike away or he could also drop it pretty early but not expect Mike to say it back right away. I kinda wrote that dynamic into my last fic (the trans mike fic) with Davy saying “I love you, I love you” to Mike and Mike responding not verbally but by pulling him into a passionate kiss that Davy understood was a mirroring of his feelings.

Mike would also have some insecurities, self-worth, and jealousy problems. I think even though Davy is obviously happy and loves him a lot Mike would get really in his head and be like Davy’s going to find someone better, he misses being with girls, stuff like that. And it might manifest as jealousy because he doesn’t want to lose Davy but thinks that it’s very possible it could happen. I can definitely see Mike lashing out/starting a fight over this in a moment of fear and self-loathing, and Davy would hate being told how he feels (he knows he’s happy with Mike and wants to be with him forever and hates being accused of feeling otherwise) but as long as they’re able to talk it out in the end everything would be fine. And besides they have a great support system in Micky and Peter so if they need to talk to them about problems or get advice I think they would be really helpful. (Though, again, Mike seems like the type to bottle up his problems so Micky would probably have to chip away at him, without trying to seem nosy, to get Mike to talk about what’s wrong).

#sorry this sat in my drafts for over a week i really wanted to add more to it >.< #i write them extremely self indulgently so even tho i like these kinds of explorations i tend to just ignore it in my own writing #that part i mentioned about davy wanting to woo mike is from a little fic idea thats been living in my brain that i hope to write soon! #jonesmith #showverse #64answers #i will def try to come up with some cute silly headcanons for them my brain was just blanking hard this past week

[muntadhir]

Why didn't you guys tell me how fun roleplaying as Venigni is. Why didn't you. /s

For real though, he and P are playing a game and talking about sexy things and it's both funny and cute. Will they kiss???? I dunno but I think that'd be neat.

Someday I will write a fic about Lorenzini Venigni. I have zero ideas, but I am writing it down. I am taking notes. I am a lover of the man Lorenzini Venigni.

#i've had a venigni rp account for ages but i've just been shitposting bc i worried his voice might be kind of hard to pick up #i feel like i've so far gotten everyone's voice down okay for rp #i feel like giangio and geppetto are so far the more difficult ones to write for rp (for me) bc of the scheming/calculating y'know #fic is kind of different #fic is just a sludge of self indulgence while rp is like “i gotta use my brain” #俺の #i lied abt voices #i'm actually not super sure on carlo but i think he kind of depends on who he's played against/the context of the thread #whether or not he's yandere real boy y'know #“do you roleplay as everyone from 2023's hit lies of p” yes #“do you ship everything in 2023's hit lies of p” yes no one is safe #adding onto this actually but venigni is really interesting to me for rp so far bc it's like #he's the one character who is honest and says what's on his mind #so exploring his introspection is going to be fun ESPECIALLY FOR ANGST YEEHAW

[ruedesfillesducalvaire]

hey I posted another chapter of my madeleine-era valvert fic, the wildest hath not such a heart as you

here's a snippet

read chapter 3 | start from the beginning

#ok i still think the title is kind of a bit cringe but i literally could not think of anything else. i tried. i really did. #i mean i still kind of like it. but i also think it's a bit much. these sentiments coexist #ah who cares; the whole thing and the whole concept of fanfiction are about being a little bit over-the-top and self-indulgent #valvert #javert #jean valjean #les mis fanfic #les mis fic #les mis #les miserables #les misérables #a sylvie creation

[tiger-moran]

I just got hit with the really strong urge to write D/s smut again

#annoyingly this would actually fit in that fic #the one I'm on the brink of abandoning #I mean there's this scene where they're talking #while Moriarty is kind of... asserting his dominance over Moran #but I haven't written the actual smut scene itself #I still don't know what to do #I'm torn between making that the most self-indulgent thing ever #(complete with more smut) #and thinking I really cannot be bothered with sorting it #sometimes I wake up though and it's like... #I *really* want to read Moriarty/Moran smut today #unfortunately there's very little of that that I haven't written myself #so then I often get hit with the need to write more of it myself

[maedaeme]

(kicks down the door) magni-as-a-recruitable-bg3-companion notes because I have no self control whatsoever. this is so long but (pats a cushion) play in the sandbox with me.

Recruitable in Act 1. Also has a brain tadpole. Joins you because you are his best bet at not becoming a mindflayer, and because he heard at the gate of the grove that a wizard is paying big money to find some sort of weapon, and he is now very interested in finding it. The grind never stops.

General Vibe: local man clearly an assassin and cheerful in a way that makes it explicitly clear he is only faking being friendly. Cunning, but blunt about his opinions to companions the way Lae’zel is, with an extra layer of dry sarcasm. Gives an impression of being eternally up to something that immediately rubs both Wyll and Shadowheart the wrong way. Shockingly persuasive despite this. Or maybe because of this. Who knows. Considers his words carefully. Has connections to Nine Fingers.

Prioritizes personal freedom above all else, including (eventually) yours.

Approves of:

Extorting people for money/reward (‘will you help us?’ ‘not for free’ ‘okay :(’)

Asserting your authority

Taking Overconfident People Down A Peg TM (though if you choose to intimidate them, he’ll offhandedly tell you he'll teach you to be sneakier and meaner)

Shit-talking gods, except Lolth

Consuming tadpoles – explicitly states he doesn’t want any himself (doesn't want to risk being influenced by a Big Brain), but thinks it’s very interesting watching you do it

Lying for personal gain, or, rarely, to protect someone’s feelings

This would 100% include an early chance to lie directly to him, if he catches you – as far as he’s concerned, not trusting him outright is the smartest option. He’s neutral if you keep doing it, but he starts disapproving after a certain Personal Story Milestone because now it hurts his feelings.

Disapproves of:

Rejecting compensation/rewards (‘oh no, helping you was enough.’ Annoyed in the background: ‘I need you to know it’s not.’)

Acquiescing to humiliating demands (ex. licking the goblin’s boot)

Making or considering deals with devils

Making or considering deals with the Guardian

Expressing devotion to gods. Neutral/no disapproval if it’s Lolth. Doesn't approve either, though, so hmm, sir, hmm

Being honest when he feels you shouldn’t (telling nearly anyone about the artifact, being truthful during the ~love quiz~, etc.)

Being touched without Explicit Permission

His personal quest kicks off when you either a) discover a way to the Underdark, or b) find out the Underdark will lead to the Nightsong. He’s intentionally not returned for like. Over a century. Despite this, he’s insistent that you take him with because he has ‘unfinished business’ to tend to.

Shortly after arriving, he will casually disclose the ‘business’ is getting ritually eaten by a giant spider.

Continuing the quest is pretty dependent on convincing him not to do that, considering you will run into Talfae—the priestess (now High Priestess) who banished him to the surface in the first place, and she will be begrudgingly happy to oblige after strongarming him (and the party) into a sort of trial to prove his worth.

Assuming he doesn’t get eaten by spiders, he can either kill Talfae, or drag her kicking and screaming to the surface, a fate she deems worse. He also comes out with a perk he didn’t have before: the ability to converse with spiders.

Making the assumption he’s regained Lolth’s favor, he’ll disclose that he used to be a priestess of Lolth—one of three favored to be a high priestess. They were constantly trying to kill or unseat each other with the understanding that the last one standing would ascend to the title as Lolth’s favored.

Talfae preferred humiliation to killing, exposing a secret and banishing him to the surface instead of giving him the ritual sacrifice he thought he was owed. Per the spiders, he’s found out that she did the same to the second priestess, Xullbaste. In his head, since he regained favor with Lolth after murdering/banishing Talfae, if he can find Xullbaste in Baldur’s Gate and determine what Lolth wants done with her, he can do what he long assumed impossible: become a high priest of Lolth.

Which leaves you with the fairly obvious options: help him do that, or convince him it’s not worth it.

There’s a lot of Additional Trauma tangled in there that he has to come to terms with, including the realization that he does, in fact, want to live, that he does in fact feel fairly terrible and awful in hindsight about a lot of what he did For Lolth TM, that he kind of likes you people and wants to mean something to y’all, and that despite all of it he is Allowed to feel furious and hurt about being lied to and abandoned by the people he trusted and his god. This man needs so much therapy.  

THAT SAID, you can soften him up a bit over time. He’s shockingly loyal and fiercely protective of you at high approvals, and is vocally supportive of getting companions out of bad deals and situations—including Wyll, who he (unfortunately) never really gets along with. Underdark/Creche onward, he will express concern bluntly and immediately if he thinks something is about to go terribly wrong for someone in the party.

Absolutely cutting this off here before I get unhinged about his romance and companion interactions but. I HAVE THOUGHTS, MAN. PLANS.

#also want to mention companion magni is more abrasive than tav/durge magni lmao #partially because he would need tav/durge's help to come to some Realizations that he otherwise came around to himself #over the course of like. actually playing him. he was kind of a chill guy by act 3 #not really the group dad. the group uncle trying to get his shit together ig. trying to make the right choices. #mae plays bg3 #honestly i should just return to writing fics to get this out but it seems TOO SELF INDULGENT #also tav magni fun fact: talfae is who his guardian looks like lmao #his feelings towards her are EXTREMELY complicated #POINTLESS POST

[misteria247]

So I just found out that apparently Zenigata in one special has a daughter named Toshiko......

Bro I'm gonna go nuts with this newfound knowledge omfg Pops is actually a Pops dude I'm gonna cry. 😭😭😭😭

#oli talks #ooc #muns ramblings #mindless ramblings of a madman #lupin the third #lupin the 3rd #lupin iii #lupin the iii #koichi zenigata #zenigata koichi #inspector zenigata #toshiko zenigata #zenigata toshiko #I can't believe this bro it's too late at night for me to imagine Pops being a papa with a tiny lil baby like omfg it's too cute #like it honestly fits with his character so well given that his main trait is his kindness and gentleness towards things #like whenever he's not chasing lupin and the gang or other criminals he's like a really nice guy hell even to the criminals he's nice #so the thought of him with a tiny lil bean of his own it just.....ugh-!!!!! #it makes me stupidly sentimental fr fr #I'm definitely gonna write fics involving Dad Zenigata now because I need it and I'm a self indulgent bastard shshsgsgsgsgfg

[daddyplasmius]

Instead of working on literally anything else that I’m supposed to be working on, I’m editing my old, headcanon-filled “rewrite” fic, Phantom! Chapter 1 up now!

#Danny Phantom #it's still badly written #I'm just editing it to be more readable #because I very much love it #I wrote this at the height of my obsession for Danny Phantom #11 chapters will go up & then we'll see about Part 2 #got a few chapters into P2 before. fading out of writing Phantom & moving on to like. Black Dog & later FOtPoD #since Phantom is literally just. something random I did for fun. to get all the hyperfixation out of my head before I exploded #P2 does have some of my favourite shenanigans & chapter titles tbh #Contacting the Living. love that. Rest in Pieces? that. that is beautiful #P2 is also about murder & torture & human experimentation. & also Danny getting a haircut. i was living vicariously through this fic #yes i DID get an undercut since I wrote this how did you know #it wasn't because I got blasted in the head tho. rip to Danny. i got my haircut cuz i'm gay #oh no im spoiling everything uh uh pretend you never saw that #never happened #you know what? i still can't believe no one else took the name daddyplasmius. never letting this url go #i think it's funny that someone who doesn't even really like Vlad as a person & doesn't even think he's daddy has it #this could've been a very different kind of blog. it's for me to reblog DP art & also post my very self indulgent niche fics on now #sorry Vlad simps

[bsaka7]

i would write another college au now that i know how to write longer fic........ but at what cost?

#Truly one of my fav kind of fics to read but how self indulgent is too self indulgent #Do I really want to think about how i felt a year ago. #Do I really want to rehash my job decision via whatever I write about fic.... #But I feel like. If I go on too long. It will lose the details that made the whole thing interesting.... #Also like. Charlie or este centric.... #Because I feel like. It might be a fic with a pairing. But in the end it would be a fic about personal growth. #I just have so many ideas always #And writing longer fics is both so rewarding and so unrewarding at the same time... #But I have so much to say!