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punchdrunkdoc · 2 months

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Part 3, Chapter 14

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness?

Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 3 (maybe 4??) parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

Sorry for the delay in posting - real life's been a bitch!

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PART 3

Chapter 14

It didn’t take Calina long to pack. She’d been living a pretty spartan existence for the past few weeks so there wasn’t much in her sleeping area - just a set of headphones, a couple of books, and her clothes.

And her neoprene suit, the Widow’s bites, and the guns that fit in her thigh holsters.

She studied the items strewn over her bed - the physical remnants of her life as a Black Widow. It was a life she was letting go - gladly and willingly - but if felt wrong, somehow, to just throw this stuff away.

She was a Black Widow. She always would be. It was too ingrained in her. The training, the time in the Red Room, all the missions she’d taken part in…they’d shaped her. They formed too substantial a part of her past to ignore. And just getting rid of her Widow’s gear wouldn’t somehow erase that part of her. And it wouldn’t eradicate the violent, dark fragment of her soul that would probably always reside somewhere deep within her.

So there was no need for some symbolic destruction of her gear. She didn’t even feel the need to throw it in the trash. She’d just take it and store it away - like she’d done the first time she’d come to New York.

Just in case.

She’d lived through enough worst case scenarios to know it was better to be prepared. She didn’t want to ever fight again. She didn’t want to ever have to don this suit and load up her guns…but life didn’t always give you what you wanted.

Matt found her a few minutes later just as she finished stuffing her suit in her bag.

“You ready to get out of here?” he asked.

She zipped up the bag and hefted it over her shoulder. “More than ready,” she smiled.

Matt grabbed the small suitcase by her feet and they headed downstairs together. She stopped by Inessa’s room on the way out to see how she was doing, and said goodbye to the other Widows milling around the safe house on the way out. But they were happy ‘goodbyes’, not laden with fear of for each others’ safety or uncertainty about whether they’d ever meet again.

They were all starting a new life. It was exciting.

Calina felt that excitement grow as she stepped out into the bright sunshine, the cheery weather reflecting the hope and happiness bubbling inside her.

Until Anya appeared.

The other Widow came jogging down the steps behind her, ubiquitous tablet in hand. “Calina! Hold up!”

Calina and Matt paused on the sidewalk. “What’s wrong?” Calina asked.

“I’ve been going through Ranieri’s laptop in more detail.”

“You can take a day off you know, Anya. Have some fun. Celebrate a little.”

“This is fun for me.”

Matt looked away to hide his smile at Anya’s slightly confused reply. Calina didn’t bother hiding hers. “So what did you find?”

Anya hesitated, glancing in Matt’s direction. Calina quickly put her mind at ease. “It’s okay. He knows about Ranieri. I’m not keeping secrets from him anymore.”

“Oh. Okay then. Well, its about the guy who dosed you a few months back. The one who tried to get you to kill that Governor.”

“Aminev?”

“Yeah. Ranieri was looking for him.”

“What do you mean? When? Before or after Aminev drugged me?”

“Before. When Aminev defected from Volkov’s group, Volkov complained to Ranieri about it. Ranted all about how no one was loyal anymore, yadda yadda yadda. Ranieri immediately hired a PI to look for Aminev.”

“So? He was probably just trying to help Volkov out.”

Anya shook her head. “No. This was off the books, completely on the down-low. He didn’t want Volkov to know about it.”

“Did he find him?”

“Not sure yet. But I can keep digging if you think it's worth pursuing.”

Calina rolled her eyes. “Is this a real lead? Or are you just looking for an excuse to bury your head in work, instead of getting a life?”

Anya shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“Not to me,” Matt answered. “Please keep digging.”

Calina looked at him. “This sounds like nothing - no offence, Anya. Aminev is dead and Ranieri’s been neutralised by the threat of exposure.”

“Neutralised for now. He could become a problem in the future,” Matt countered. “And we still don’t know who hired Aminev - and who’s behind the pheromone drug. The more intel we have, the better.”

“Okay. You heard the man, Anya. Keep digging.”

“On it.” Anya turned and headed back up the stairs, leaving Matt and Calina to wait for their cab. But just before she entered the building, Anya paused and called out, “Calina?”

“Yes?”

“Nice hickey, by the way.”

Calina groaned in embarrassment, and swatted Matt’s shoulder when he burst out laughing.

———

An hour later, Matt and Calina were back in her apartment unpacking her few measly possessions.

Matt said nothing as she removed her Widow’s suit and weapons and stowed them in the hiding space under the bedroom floorboard, but she felt the need to explain anyway. “Just in case,” she said.

He nodded. “I get it,” he said, taking a seat on her bed. “Even when I convinced myself I’d given up being Daredevil, I could never bring myself to get rid of the suit.”

She joined him on the bed. “You said that was a story for another time. Is this the time?”

He shrugged. “It’s not some epic tale. I just…failed. I went through this period where nothing I did as Daredevil worked. I couldn’t save the people I wanted to save. I couldn’t stop the people who needed stopping. It just felt…pointless. So I gave up. I thought if I concentrated on being a full time lawyer, I’d make more of a difference.”

“I’m guessing it didn’t work out that way?”

He smiled - though it was more of a closed-lip grimace. “No. I was kidding myself. I need to be Daredevil. There’s something inside me that craves it. And sometimes…”

“What? Tell me.”

“Sometimes, I worry what that says about me.”

“I don’t,” Calina responded, without hesitation.

“What?”

“I know that you need to be Daredevil, but that doesn’t worry me. Because I know its not the violence that you’re craving. It’s the freedom. Daredevil, in some ways, is the real you. It’s you without the disguise - which is ironic when you think about it. But when you’re wearing that mask and that suit, you don’t have to pretend to be blind to your surroundings. You don’t have to walk with a cane, or slow yourself down, or act like less than you are. You can just be free to be yourself.”

“But what do I do with that freedom?” Matt argued. “I beat people up.”

“You get justice for people when the system fails. You use the amazing abilities you’ve been given to help people. You’re not just some random brawler, Matt Murdock, and you’ll never convince me that you’re acting from a place of darkness or evil.” She playfully bumped her shoulder against his. “So stop trying.”

He laughed softly. “Okay. But the same goes for you. You don’t have to be ashamed of keeping your Widow’s stuff. I know you’re not going to be sneaking out at night to do Widow-y things. And even if you wanted to do that, it would be okay. Because I know you wouldn’t be acting from a place of darkness or evil.”

She smiled as he echoed her words, then rested her head on his shoulder. “But I don’t know what I want to do. I mean, I know I don’t want to spend my nights fighting. I know I want to do something to help people. I just don’t know what it is.”

He wrapped his arm around her and held her close. “You’ll figure it out,” he said, repeating his words from earlier that day.

“I can start by helping you guys with the pheromone case. I know it’s still bothering you. A lot.”

He sighed. “Yeah. The drugging spree seems to have stopped - I haven’t come across a case in weeks. But it feels like a temporary reprieve. Like I got too close before, and scared them away. But whoever was behind it will be back, I’m sure of it. And I need to figure it out to get Margaret Posen out of prison, if nothing else.”

“Then I’ll help you. With the research and the grunt work,” she clarified. “To free you guys up to do the lawyer-ing and the vigilante-ing. I want to avoid the actual fighting side of things, if possible.”

“It’s completely possible. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

She leaned back to tease him a little, to try to lighten the mood. “Unless you come down with another cold and need saving from some kidnappers. Or you find yourself in another blown-up building. Then I’ll come running.”

He smiled and kissed her on the nose. “My hero.”

She smiled. “You’re my hero too. In fact, I think I still owe you one. You’re ahead of me on the saving-each-other scorecard.”

“You sure?” He frowned, as if trying to count the episodes himself.

She ticked them off on her fingers. “The night I was put under the mind control serum, you saved me from myself. Then when I was in a coma, you brought me back to life. And the other night, with the supersoldiers in Volkov’s compound.”

“That was a joint effort. We took them down together.”

She shrugged. “I’m still counting it. You came that night and helped us, even though you were so against what we were doing.”

“I’ll always come to help you. No matter what.”

She kissed him on his stubbled cheek. “Likewise.”

They sat together for a few moments longer, and Calina revelled in the feeling of being so close to Matt - both physically and emotionally. She’d never been happier. She’d never been more blissfully content, just sitting on a bed with Matt’s arm around her, as they pledged to always be there for each other.

It was perfect.

Until the sound of her stomach rumbling broke the spell.

Matt chuckled. “I guess it’s time to eat.”

Calina huffed out a laugh. “Yeah. But if you’re still dead set against us eating out together, we’ll need to go to your place or get some groceries - I have nothing in the kitchen. Literally nothing.”

He stood up and offered his hand to pull her off the bed. “My place it is, then.”

They spent the rest of the day in his home, just hanging out and delighting in the quiet, peaceful domesticity of it all. They ate a late lunch, and an even later dinner. They played chess, and lounged together on the couch, filling each other in on everything they’d missed over the last couple of months.

And when it came time for Matt to become Daredevil and leave for the night, Calina kissed him on the cheek and walked back across the hallway to her apartment.

The separation didn’t feel forced. It wasn’t awkward or traumatic. Sure, she would have preferred to go to sleep in his bed. She would have preferred to have him crawl in beside her in the early hours of the morning after he returned from his vigilante-ing. And she definitely would have preferred welcoming him back naked and ready for his touch…but this would do for now.

They’d have their days together at the weekend. Their evenings after he finished work. And they’d go their separate ways for the night.

It was what Matt wanted. What he needed. A slower pace. A little bit of space and time to learn to trust her again.

She could give him that, knowing - having faith - that they’d have their nights again soon. That they’d build a life together.

And if today was any sort of preview of how that life would play out…it was going to be a good one.

No. A great one.

———

He missed her.

It had only been a few hours since he’d last seen her, but he missed her. He felt the ache of her absence like a physical wound, and could barely concentrate for thoughts of her.

Matt shook his head and laughed under his breath. Man, he was so far gone, it was ridiculous.

He hoped it was just some residual side-effect from their months-long separation. Just his mind and body lagging behind in accepting that she was really back. That she wasn’t about to disappear again. Otherwise, he’d be useless at work tomorrow. As useless as he’d been tonight out on patrol.

Luckily, it had been quiet out on the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. Nothing too taxing. Nothing requiring more than the bare minimum of thought and effort - just an attempted mugging in a hospital car park, and a group of drunk frat boys causing a bit of property damage on west 53rd street.

Which meant he was back on his rooftop - their rooftop - in record time. He sat on the stone parapet of the building for a few minutes, stretching out his senses to double-check the mood of the city…but it was calm. At peace for a change.

Which meant he could direct his senses one floor down, and to the right.

To the woman asleep in 6B.

He closed his eyes, and allowed her steady heartbeat, and the soft rustle of her sheets, to become the soundscape of his world. He felt his breathing slow to match hers, until they were inspiring and expiring as one. He became so absorbed in her, the city around him disappeared. Until they were the only two people on the planet.

But it still wasn’t enough.

Because he was missing her scent.

He crept silently across the rooftop and down to the fire escape outside her bedroom window. He crouched on the metal structure, and let the picture of her take shape in his mind’s eye. The heat of her body, the scent particles rising from her skin, and the air seeping through the cracks in her window and swirling over her form, brought her to life.

She was on her back, one slender arm draped across her waist and the other outstretched on the bed towards the window, as if beckoning him in. She stirred slightly, her head turning on the pillow and one long leg bending at the knee until her foot rested against her other thigh, like a ballerina in position.

The move disturbed the bedsheets, releasing a concentrated dose of her scent. Matt breathed deeply, taking in that wonderful, heady fragrance, feeling like an addict getting a hit of his favourite drug.

But it still wasn’t enough.

The sound and the shape and the smell of her wasn’t enough. He was missing the feel of her skin.

He wanted to enfold her in his arms and bury his nose in that spot behind her ear and feel her hair tickle his cheek and slip his thigh between hers and his hand under her top…

No.

He stood up, braced his hands on his hips and forcefully shook his head - as if he could physically fling the impulse from his mind.

This arrangement was for the best.

In a moment of more rational clarity, he’d decided to slow things down between them. To give them both space to acclimatise to being back together. And it was the logical, sensible course of action.

It was just difficult to follow that sensible logic when his baser instincts were in play. When he was Daredevil, the reckless vigilante…and not Matt Murdock, the practical lawyer. He clenched his hands into fists, battling with the two sides of his nature. Pitting the need to stick to his guns against the primal urge to wrench open the window and crawl into bed beside her.

In the end, the decision was made for him.

Calina cried out in her sleep, a familiar sound of helpless terror. She shifted on the bed again, curling up into a protective ball as she whimpered in fear. Her scent changed, morphing from sweet and sultry to the acrid taste of adrenaline.

She was having a nightmare.

So he needed to go to her.

Matt braced his hands on the glass pane in front of him and pushed upwards, the rubber pads of his gloves providing the necessary grip. He strained, using all the strength in his arms and upper body, until he felt the metal lock break away from the rotting wood of the window frame - the only time since moving into this old building that he was grateful for the state of disrepair.

He pushed open the window and climbed into Calina’s bedroom, sure that the noise of his entry would wake her. But she was deep in her nightmare, held captive in some horrible memory or dreamscape.

He quickly closed the window, pulled off his mask and stripped out of his suit, leaving him in boxers and a tee. Then he slipped under the covers behind Calina and wrapped her in his arms. “Shhh, sweetheart. It’s okay. I’m here.”

He kept up a litany of soothing words as he held her tight and pressed soft kisses against the flushed skin of her cheek. After a few long minutes, the rigid tension in her muscles started to ease and her panicked, panting breaths slowed. “That’s it, Callie. You’re safe. Just relax, I’m here.”

“Matt?” she murmured, her voice slurred and groggy.

“Yeah, it’s me. Go to sleep, baby.”

“You’re really here?”

He pressed another kiss to her cheek. To the angle of her jaw and the soft delicate skin behind her ear. “I told you. I’ll always come when you need me.”

“Good. M’glad.”

He could tell by the mumbled words that she was half asleep again already. He smiled into her hair and settled against the pillows, tucking his arm more firmly around her waist. “Me too, sweetheart.”

He closed his eyes, feeling at peace. The ache of missing her gone. His distracted thoughts, at rest. There was no battle within him now. No warring between logic and desire.

He was exactly where he was supposed to be.

Within moments, he was asleep.

————–

Chapter 15

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#daredevil #daredevil fic #tabula rasa #daredevil fanfic #daredevil fanfiction #matt murdock #daredevil x original female character #marvel's daredevil #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock x oc #daredevil fandom #matt murdock x original female character

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empresskadia · 3 months

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1.4 Gentle Touches [Halo] [Linda-058]

I have started a short series with Halo and all the Spartans deserve some gentle touches and kisses. This lowkey might be a Blue Team x fem! reader, so here we go...feedback is always appreciated!

1.4 Linda-058

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0800 Hours, July 16, 2545 (Military Calendar)/UNSC Destroyer Bloodhound

Their first meeting should not have rattled Linda the way it did. She would never admit this to anyone but had a feeling you knew. It was part of being a Spartan to handle marines and civilians gawking at them like idols wherever they were stationed. People tended to treat Spartans like living legends, marveling at the advanced technology of their Mjolnir armor and the superhuman abilities they possessed.

But you didn’t.

Not once did you look upon the Spartan and see anything other than a person. And for whatever reason that had been the one thing that unnerved Linda the most besides those assessing eyes that felt like they could see beneath the suit. “Dr. [L/n], this is Spartan-058.” And Doctor [Y/n] [L/n] gave her the kindest smile that anyone had ever given the Spartan.

"It's an honor to meet you, Spartan-058," you said, your voice filled with a warmth that she had never heard used with any of them before. It was gentle like you were talking with an old friend yet with a professional tone as if you were speaking with colleagues. Linda stood there, clad in her Mjolnir armor and she felt exposed in a way she hadn't before. She nodded slightly in acknowledgment but chose to remain silent, she almost felt a bit out of her element. “Though I must say referring to you by a number makes you seem more like a machine than human.”

No one had ever questioned their designations before, at least never to their faces. Even the captain introducing them shifted uncomfortably at your comment, but the doctor remained unfazed. Those eyes flicked to the captain and pinned him with a stare like you were prompting him to say something. And Linda couldn’t help but be a little impressed as your commanding officer squirmed under that gaze. You looked back at her and smiled again, this time extending your hand out in greeting. “I look forward to working with you,” Linda only looked down at the offer that you extended her way, this was different to what she was used to. But she wasn’t against it, this was new and she was intrigued. Linda hesitated for a moment as the familiarity of the gesture felt foreign, but there was something in your eyes that strangely reassured her. Slowly, she accepted the handshake and was surprised to note the warmth that emanated from your hand.

"Likewise, Doctor [L/n]," Linda finally answered and your eyes sparkled with delight. There was almost a teasing tone in them as if you wanted to comment but were reframing.

“Please, just [Y/n]. I have no desire to be referred to by my last name anymore. Especially with someone who I will be spending much of my time with.”

The captain, still visibly uneasy, managed to mumble a few words to the doctor before excusing himself. Left alone with you, Linda felt a shift in the atmosphere as a relaxed tone trailed in as you began giving her the tour of the ship, unprompted. You navigated the ship with ease, pointing out various areas and explaining their functions without expecting her to respond. Throughout the tour, Linda observed the genuine passion you had for your work. Your explanations were not just about the technical aspects of the ship, but also about the people who manned it and the collaborative efforts that went into everything.

As you reached the bridge, Linda couldn't help but note the efficiency with which you interacted with the crew. The respect and camaraderie they displayed towards you was evident and she could see why. You knew everyone by name and didn’t hesitate to greet them as they passed by. Toward the end of the tour, you stopped in front of a door. “And this is where we have you staying, my room is just a few doors down if you ever need anything.” You swiped your hand on the access pad for the biometric scan, the door sliding open. “I was going to try to make it homey but I had no idea what Spartans like.” The room was standard-issued but it was the flowers on the desk that caught her attention. “The only thing I could think of to welcome you was flowers and chocolates ‘cause who doesn’t like those?” And for a moment, Linda was taken aback.

It was a small, unexpected gesture that went against the usual Spartan protocol. A pop of color in a blank room. Linda turned her head towards the scientist and studied you for a moment. She found herself facing a situation she hadn't prepared for, a situation no one had trained her for and she found that a faint smile tugged at the corners of her lips, perhaps this assignment wouldn't be as rigid as the others. And in a softer monotone voice, one that she only used with the other Spartans, she finally said, "Thank you."

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1300 Hours, August 18, 2545 (Military Calendar)/UNSC Destroyer Bloodhound

It had been a month at this point since Linda had been assigned to protect the scientist, and to her surprise, you had gotten a handful of conversations out of her when on the field together as you researched forerunner structures. The rest of Blue team would be shocked to hear it and it had a small smile tugging on the corner of her lips as she thought about it. Honestly, some parts of you had reminded her of Kelly, and other parts reminded her of John, specifically your stubbornness. Sometimes she even saw bits of Fred, and she had grown comfortable around you. The silence that would often settle around them never felt like it needed to be filled with chatter.

The mission that was set for planetside had been abruptly canceled and Linda was left with a free schedule. She had been used to following after the doctor as you hoped around the planet looking through each structure with the excitement of a child. It took less than a day to understand why they assigned a Spartan to watch over the doctor. The ODSTs and marines wouldn’t be able to keep up as you had a habit of constantly disappearing and wandering off, one that Linda had to quickly adapt herself to. She almost wished for the rest of Blue team to be here, not that she had trouble with you but to ensure your safety even further. You never once hesitated to share any discoveries you made and often ramble off to her, in a way to put your thoughts together. Or it would be a constant quiet as you examined. There was no in-between.

With the free time she had, Linda spent the next three hours in the gym, out of her MJOLNIR armor for the first time in months. It felt strange and made her feel exposed, but the ship AI wouldn’t let her use the gym otherwise.

The rhythmic thud of her boots echoed through the corridor as she made her way back to her quarters. The ship's halls hummed with a low vibration as she turned the corner and the familiar figure in the middle of the hall had her stopping.

“Doctor?” Linda called out after a minute. You were standing there seemingly engrossed in a datapad, lost in thought. A noise of surprise leaves you as you look up,

“Oh, hello Spartan,” Then look back down before your head shoots up again with your brows furrowed and something akin to shock crosses your features as you stare at her before giving her a warm smile. “Nice to see you out of that armor, 058, I was starting to think it was your whole personality.” You teased. Linda couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at your playful comment, this teasing had started opening into a new layer to whatever dynamic had been playing between the two lately.

"I could say the same about you and that datapad," she retorted, a hint of amusement in her tone. You gave her a shrug in total agreement. The two of you stood there for a moment, the ship's hum providing a subtle background to the conversation. Linda took a step closer, without her armor on there was barely any barrier between you and her. "Is there something on that datapad that has your attention?"

You glanced down at the device with a thoughtful expression. "Just some data analysis, nothing too exciting that you haven’t heard from me yet. I was actually on my way to the mess hall for a quick break. Care to join me?"

Linda hesitated for a moment, she was still not accustomed to casual invitations you sent her way but this was the first time you had invited her alone with none of the crew present. She gave a subtle nod knowing you would be able to catch it. Perhaps different was okay…It was something she was learning to appreciate with you.

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0700 Hours, September 3, 2545 (Military Calendar)/UNSC Destroyer Bloodhound

The morning was slow compared to the others, there was no planetside mission today with the rain drenching the planet. But that never stopped you from working away with that current data available as you poured her some coffee and patted the spot next to you, silently inviting her to join. Silence had become a part of their everyday dance, it was comfortable and chatter never needed to fill the air around them.

"Why do you treat me like this? Like I'm just a person, not a Spartan." Linda broke the silence that hung in the air. She had been curious this entire time, the reactions she got from the soldiers, the crew, and the others on this ship were the usual, no one reacted the same way as you.

The scientist paused, looking at her with a thoughtful expression that seemed almost confused. "Because you are a person…?" The answer ended in a question like you were unsure how else to explain. Like Linda had proposed a trick question.

And for her, your answer was enough. The quiet settled once more and Linda was left with her thoughts before you spoke up once more.

“If I ever meet the Master Chief should I give him flowers?” You asked with a playful glint in your eyes and Linda finds herself chuckling softly. She would pay to see you give flowers to John, he wouldn’t know how to react, and the image of him holding a delicate bouquet in his armor almost had her snorting. Linda really couldn’t stop the grin that graced her lips.

“As long as you make them as pink as possible.” Kelly would double over in a fit of laughter and hold it over John’s head for the rest of their lives.

“Noted,”

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0900 Hours, November 16, 2545 (Military Calendar)/UNSC Destroyer Bloodhound

Linda-058 knew her mission had been completed the moment you finished the last of the reports and submitted them that evening. But for some reason, she felt…off about it, like she was disappointed but at the same time was eager to see the rest of Blue team and her Spartans again.

Her family.

But then she thought about you and felt something tugging at her and she couldn’t identify it. ‘This is bittersweet,’ Linda thought to herself finally. She had been meditating on the feeling for hours before she was called to the command room, but it was seeing you that had her figuring it out. She enjoyed your company and the comfort you brought and she was going to miss it. Linda was going to miss you. ‘Huh, how interesting.’ she thought as you stared at her with sad eyes as soon as the debriefing was over, leaving the two of you alone.

“It’s been an honor, Spartan,” you muttered softly. “It was a pl-”

“Linda,” She said quietly, cutting you off and the scientist looked up at her in surprise. The silence had settled around them before a smile broke out on your lips. “Well, it’s a pleasure to properly meet you, Linda. I hope I can see you again,” And Linda hoped it too.

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0600 Hours, January 5, 2547 (Military Calendar)/ UNSC Carrier Stalingrad

Truly, Linda had been pleasantly surprised when she had to drop off the artifact at the laboratory, only to find you being the leading department head. “One moment please,” You called out even before she entered the lab. Your focus was ever directed toward the datapad and the scene brought a small smile to her lips, if there was one thing that didn’t seem to change, it was you. Linda took only two steps into the room before your head was snapping up like you recognized the footfalls, your brows furrowed and you just stared at her and tilted your head before a smile touched your lips. Your attention turned completely to her, like nothing else mattered. “Hello, Linda,” you say as softly as she remembers and the sound of her name on your lips made her feel things she hadn’t before.

It was later in the evening when Linda had decided to take your offer to eat dinner together in the mess hall that the thought had crossed her mind. More specifically when she watched two marines embrace that she wondered about it. Physical affection had never been something that Spartans ever strived for, she had seen you on a number of times hug others in greeting or comfort when she first met the doctor. And now, Linda couldn’t help but be curious, she wondered if you would be as soft as your personality or as warm against her as the smiles you always give her. If Kelly or Fred could only hear her thoughts, they would be shocked and Linda found herself giving a small chuckle at the thought that caught your attention.

You simply raised your brow at her and she just went back to her meal. You knew you weren’t going to get an answer from her. But your eyes flickered to where she had been looking and a thoughtful expression graced your features but the scientist didn’t say anything.

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1500 Hours, January 6, 2547 (Military Calendar)/ UNSC Carrier Stalingrad

The huff of frustration that escaped the doctor caused the corners of her lips to twitch. Linda didn’t need to open her eyes to see your annoyed expression as you worked to figure out that artifact. Truly, you hadn’t changed at all and it’s how she found herself meditating in your lab just as it was over a year ago. “If you scowl any harder at it, your face may permanently freeze like that.” She commented, "And then where would we be?"

“Still glaring at this thing,” you mutter, she felt your gaze shift onto her. “And displayed in a museum because of how perfect I look.”

“Your confidence knows no bounds,”

You let out a snort, “I can be so much worse, Lin, I don’t have anything on Sergeant Johnson.” And the room fell quiet as the Spartan simply opened her eyes and stared at you before raising a brow.

“Lin?”

You shrugged, looking a little bashful, “Sorry, slip of the tongue.” and Linda smiled at you.

“I like it.”

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1300 Hours, January 8, 2547 (Military Calendar)/ UNSC Carrier Stalingrad

Standby wasn’t anything unusual but to have a Spartan on standby for this long wasn’t normal unless they were expecting an attack. Linda had been on edge for the last few days more so because of the doctor on the ship. She was worried for you, as a Spartan, worry wasn't a common emotion, yet here she was, something she found herself doing more often than not. What did catch her slightly off guard one uneventful evening was you grabbing her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. She felt herself tense for a moment before relaxing.

The touch was unexpected, and Linda's gaze met yours with a raised eyebrow. Your expression remained calm as a small smile blossomed. "It's not a weakness to care, Lin.” Being mindful of her strength, she squeezed your hand back. She had guessed you had field training with how quickly and aware of your surroundings you always were but the strength you held her hand with was comforting. She found her thumb running across the back of your palm, your hand was soft against hers. “Can I hug you?” You asked, never breaking eye contact.

The question hung in the air, a small smile played on her lips, and she nodded in response to your question. "Yes, you can,"

The warmth of your embrace felt oddly comforting, the scent of your hair, the gentle rise and fall of your chest against hers—it was all so human. "I appreciate you," you whispered, and she found herself copying your action and holding you close to her.

“I have a request,” she muttered and you held her tighter.

“Go on,”

“Can you show me how to cuddle?”

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0900 Hours, June 21, 2549 (Military Calendar)/ UNSC Destroyer Hera

It would be a lie if Linda said a part of her wasn’t excited to see the scientist again. What were the chances that you were on the same ship Blue team was being transferred too. She knew you would be able to tell her apart from the other Spartans clad in the green armor and Linda was only proven right when you entered the commanding room and those assessing eyes landed straight on them. The smile that tugged at your lips signified you knew she was here. “Ah! [Y/n], I wasn’t expecting you up here this quickly. I was debriefing the Spartans on their indefinite stay until further notice.” The Captain said as you walked up your datapad ever present in your hands.

“I had a feeling I was going to see someone I knew today and I couldn’t help running up here. Though this was still a surprise.” You say, greeting her team with a soft ‘hello’ that had Fred shifting next to her like he hadn’t expected such a gentle formality. Linda hadn’t told the rest of her team about you, she had been quiet about the mission overall and they never pushed to know more. They knew she would share if she needed or wanted to.

The Captain simply gave you a confused look that you shrugged off, obviously, you had heard a squad of Spartans was being transferred temporarily. But it was an utter delight that Linda-058 was among them. You handed off the datapad to the Captain letting him know that all the information he asked for was detailed in it before turning toward them. “Let me personally welcome you four onto the UNSC Hera, if any of you need anything at all please don’t hesitate to come find me. My lab is stationed on Deck 4, section L-7.” As your eyes drifted across all four of them, her fellow spartans all made subtle shifts that had her give a small smile.

They had all felt it too, that feeling like you could see straight through the armor to them. But what they didn’t catch was the personal invitation that you extended out to her with those words. You knew how Spartans were, you knew that they wouldn't come find you.

But she would. And Linda knew exactly where her scientist would be.

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2100 Hours, June 21, 2549 (Military Calendar)/ UNSC Destroyer Hera

The fingers that gently ran through her hair were a danger she forgot. They were going to knock her out in a minute and your soft humming wasn’t helping. Linda was glad for once they were assigned separate rooms instead of bunking together because John and Fred would come to hunt her down if she never came back because she wasn’t leaving this room unless the covenant appeared.

She had missed this. She had missed you.

You insisted that she lay on you, her head against your chest to give her a reprieve, saying “when was the last time you rested. You can be the big spoon tomorrow.” and she had barely put up a fight, eager to just have you close. She couldn't deny the warmth that spread through her as she lay there, the steady rhythm of your heartbeat beneath her serving as a comforting lullaby, each beat a reassurance that you were alive. Your fingers continued their soothing trail through her hair, and Linda couldn't help but close her eyes, and fully relax against you, feeling the rise and fall of your breath beneath her.

This was the only time she felt…decent out of her armor was when she was with you, held lovingly against her. You were safe and whole. Untouched from dangers at the moment and it was all Linda could ask for.

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1800 Hours, June 28, 2549 (Military Calendar)/ UNSC Destroyer Hera

The last week had been filled with back-to-back missions but each time Blue team came back to the UNCS Hera, they would notice Linda disappearing but no one commented on it. She had been at the top of her game more than usual lately and the best way any of them could explain it was that Linda was bouncing in a way they haven’t really seen before. Of course, this meant that Linda hardly saw you during the day, often having to leave notes for you as she departed your quarters, or hers. Somehow you had gotten a spartan-sized bed moved into your room and when she asked about it, you simply smiled at her.

Normally you would have responded by now to the note, you have access to her room after all, but there was nothing. There generally were only two reasons for that, one you were far too absorbed into your research and had forgotten. Which was very plausible knowing you, or, two, you were deliberately avoiding the message, but she trusted you enough to believe there might be a good reason. That was also the least likely scenario. She and the rest of Blue team were in the mess hall when she spotted you walking in with your colleagues, a few of them friends that you had spoken highly about during your nights together. But the datapad in your hand gave away what you had been doing together, it was work that kept you away. Your eyes met hers, and for a brief moment, guilt flickered in your gaze before you turned to the other said a few words, and headed towards the table the Spartans were at.

As you approached the table, Linda was already giving you her full attention, something she was sure the other three were noting when she saw Kelly raise a brow at her. All four of them were out of their armor which was currently being repaired. Things had gotten..out of hand during their latest mission.

"I forgot to say something, but I'll be done around 2100, if you wanna come to the lab." Linda's eyes flicker to your datapad before nodding.

"Busy with work again?" she asked, her tone light but there was a distinct note of concern in it that had you smile.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for any worry, it’s been a hectic week.” Your eyes took on the shine that she adored when you were excited about something. “But I can’t wait to show you the breakthroughs on what we had! Oh! And the repairs on your armor are going well, I think you’ll like the updates I’m making!”

Before she could comment, it was Fred who spoke up, “I thought the engineering team was doing repairs?”

“They fall under [Y/n]’s department and she likes to pitch in and make some personal enhancements that would give Halsey a run for her money,” Linda answers, earning a look of surprise from all of them. One for the fact that she knew it was your department and she kept tabs on that and two, that Linda knew you well enough to make a comparison to Dr. Halsey. She turned her attention back to the scientist. "We'll be working out till 2100, but I can meet you after."

"Sounds great, make sure you shower, I'm not dealing with a sweaty Spartan," You tease, making a show by scrunching up your nose and Linda's eyes glimmer in amusement. You glanced over your shoulder back at your friends before giving a small wave to the Spartans. "Then I'll see you later, Lin.' It was lovely to see you Blue team." And Linda just hummed in confirmation.

What you missed while walking away was Fred choking on his water before looking at Linda with an open mouth. Even Kelly and the Master Chief were looking at her with an arched brow. Hardly anything shocked them but for Linda to be called Lin, not one of them expected it, or for Linda to be apparently that close with a civilian.

"Lin?" Fred asked. Linda glances at him before going back to her meal, not even bothering to acknowledge their questions. She didn't feel the need to share about [Y/n] just yet.

#halo #halo series #fanfiction #writing #my writing #Linda 058 #Linda 058 x reader #blue team x reader #Gentle Touches #halo x reader #Linda 058 x you #halo fanfiction #fem!reader

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ystk-archive · 11 months

Text

[Translation] Perfume discuss recording “Love Cloud” (TV Bros, 23.06.06)

“At our first London concert in nine years, we performed a new song!”

A~chan: We performed our new song "Love Cloud" at our show in London! Nakata-san made it specifically for this overseas appearance.

Nocchi: Nakata-san did advise us that it might be better to perform songs that the crowd would be familiar with, rather than debuting new material at a foreign show. But we wanted to ask him to make something new anyway since the London concert is the best version of our live performances so far and Japanese fans would be watching it too through online streaming and the ABEMA TV broadcast.

A~chan: Yep, we totally did. When we were able to meet with him, that was the main thing we discussed. After that was the "how about doing a 'Polyrhythm Pro Max' version?" conversation (editor's note: they're referring to the iPhone's top-of-the-line Pro Max model). So something where when the song starts, the audience will be like "huh, what song is this? Is this a new song?" and then they get all hyped up once they realize it's one they already know. We're doing that at the [Primavera Sound] festival in Spain and also at the London show, and it was because we could talk about it with him that this new arrangement exists.

A~chan [continued]: We also talked about the new song. I told him that since it was going to be our first overseas concert in four years, I thought it'd be good to have a new track to showcase specially for all the people who waited for us. I wanted to bring a surprise along with us, so he made a track just for the overseas show... During the recording he was like "I made something seriously awesome." He was in a really good mood, huh?

Nocchi: He was!

A~chan: He kept saying things like "isn't this good?" and also expressed that he wants Perfume to have the kinds of songs that other artists on the chart would envy. Though I understand that there are all sorts of artists whom appear together on music shows and sing certain songs that they can only do because of the point they're at in their careers, or artists who specifically pick a particular song to perform, and singers each have their own reasons and sense of timing that explain their choices in music. He said he wants people to think the songs that Perfume sings are really cool. We were extremely moved hearing Nakata-san tell us his dream for us. It was one thing after another while we were sitting there like "Nakata-san, you really thought of us this much..." We were simultaneously excited and moved to tears from hearing him talk like that.

A~chan [continued]: The new track turned out really, really great. Usually when we record he has his back to us the whole time, but while we were working on Love Cloud he kept turning around and saying things like "oh, isn't this awesome?" He was in a super good mood. That said, even though I think the song is cool, when it came time to record the vocals it was insanely difficult. It might've been our longest recording session ever. I must've spent at least three hours in that recording booth.

Kashiyuka: It's because it's a new type of melody for us, isn't it? Nakata-san himself seems aware of the fact that we couldn't pull off this kind of melody in the past but now we can, and he said that when he was young he could never figure out how to put vocals to this sort of thing. So even though we received this song from him and it's really good, it was so tough to sing.

A~chan: It was~ (cries).

Kashiyuka: It's like I couldn't pick up on the notes in the melody at all, even though I can hum it no problem.

A~chan: In my case I was struggling to understand Nakata-san's instructions. "It's not (while humming) 'uuu, uuu~,' it's 'uuu, uuun." I was like...huh? What d'you mean??? All while the song was still playing and I had to sing to it. Like what am I gonna do...

Kashiyuka: It's been a while since we've seen Nakata-san's strict, Spartan side (laughs).

A~chan: He was super aggressive (laughs). Normally the songs play about four bars ahead of us as we record, and before we start a section we discuss it and say things like "I get it" or "I'll try" in response to his direction. Then we usually get a signal to begin but this time it was just, "Like I said, it's 'uuu, uuun.'" And then it was like a phone call getting disconnected, the way I was suddenly thrown into it (laughs). What's worse is the song was played two bars ahead and I had to start singing immediately while still trying to understand what he wanted and I just couldn't keep up. I was so confused that I stopped the recording for the first time by saying, "Um... I really don't understand, I can't pinpoint the melody."

Kashiyuka: Yep, you really did.

A~chan: But when I took a look at the demo, the sound that Nakata-san was talking about wasn't there. It was missing one note. So that's the reason why I wasn't getting it (laughs).

Nocchi: Hahaha!

A~chan: Nakata-san even hums songs like he's shy, so the notes don't come through properly.

Kashiyuka: He sings like he's in a hurry (laughs).

A~chan: Exactly (laughs).

Kashiyuka: He sings and plays the piano in such a rush that I have to ask him for more time so I can process the notes properly.

A~chan: I totally didn't get it. Of course Nakata-san thinks very quickly, and his mind and imagination are moving at speeds so fast that the average person can't keep up with him. Seriously. "Huh? Uhhh, umm, gimme a second..." (laughs). I always try so hard to understand him, but this time I had no choice but to be like "I'm sorry but I'm confused." He said "well, then sing it this way" and then he altered it to how he was originally instructing it to me.

─ This was the first tense recording session you've had with him in a while, isn't it?

A~chan: It was, but we were laughing? Nakata-san was too. We all laughed ourselves silly.

Kashiyuka: While saying stuff like "let me see here, it's supposed to be like this" and "no, hold on..."

A~chan: When we said stuff like "I don't get it," he laughed (laughs). At first I was about to cry trying to figure it out, but I was struggling so much that he broke out into laughter and then I laughed too. Jeez, this track really was hard to record. It's a house-style song.

Kashiyuka: It's probably because the rhythm is so tricky. He wanted to include a lot of syllables and the pronunciation of all the words became complicated. It was a tough battle.

A~chan: It really was.

Kashiyuka: But even Nakata-san was like "try singing it a different way," "no, maybe this way is better," and "whoops, my bad!" (laughs). It was a trial and error process for everyone. We were all trying to find the easiest way to communicate the song.

Nocchi: Yep.

#perfume #Love Cloud #Primavera Sound #code of perfume #nakata yasutaka #2023 #interviews #translations #TV Bros

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poisonheadcrabsalesman · 9 months

Note

Totally random question but is the skull faced guy on the trolli packs a guy you can meet or just a cosmetic you can get

The he^ for reference

Oh that's Emile! He's a Spartan III from Halo Reach. He's a fan favorite edgy guy who likes knives and being an asshole. He's one of the kidnapped war orphans who became a super soldier and he's popular enough they even put him in Gears of War 5.

You don't play as him in Halo Reach, but as one of his new teammates on Noble Team, Noble 6.

#asks #twilighthomunculus #not tagging this lest i be attacked

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gameknigh · 11 months

Text

Anyways here is a list of about 200 things I am no longer allowed to do within the UNSC ONI or Spartan Operations, I do not regret any of these

My proper military title is ‘Spartan Sam’ not ‘Princess Anastasia’.

Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.

Not allowed to play ‘Pulp Fiction’ with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

Not allowed to add ‘In accordance with the prophesy’ to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.

Not allowed to title any product ‘Get Over it’.

Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on Government time.

Not allowed to join the communist party.

Not allowed to join any militia.

N ot allowed to form any militia.

Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Boston.

Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to ‘Sic Brass!’

Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my ‘Sampson like powers’.

God may not contradict any of my orders.

May no longer perform my now (in)famous ‘Barbie Girl Dance’ while on duty.

May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right.

Must not taunt the Harvestians any more.

Must attempt to not antagonize ODSTs.

Must never call an ODST a ‘Wanker’.

Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.

Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true.

Never confuse a Revian soldier for a Martian one.

Never tell a German soldier that ‘We kicked your ass in World War 2!’

Don’t take the batteries out of the other Spartan’s alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).

The Irish Spartans are not after ‘Me frosted lucky charms’.

Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.

Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

(Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

Not allowed to sing ‘High Speed Dirt’ by Megadeth during airborne operations. (‘See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker’)

Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Interplanetary War isn’t over).

Our medic is called ‘Sgt Larwasa’, not ‘Dr. Feelgood’.

Our supply Sgt is ‘Sgt Watkins’ not ‘Sugar Daddy’.

Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.

I do not have super-powers.

Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.

I am not the atheist chaplain.

I am not authorized to fire officers.

Not allowed to trade military equipment for ‘magic beans’.

Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.

Not allowed to quote ‘Dr Seuss’ on military operations.

Not allowed to yell ‘Take that Cobra’ at the rifle range.

Not allowed to quote ‘Full Metal Jacket ‘ at the rifle range.

‘Napalm sticks to kids’ is *not* a motivational phrase.

An order to ‘Put Kiwi on my boots’ does *not* involve fruit.

An order to ‘Make my Boots black and shiny’ does not involve electrical tape.

The proper response to a lawful order is not ‘Why?’

The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- based, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Arcadian yoga, Gotterdammerung, or any references to squid.

May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.

‘The Giant Space Ants’ are not at the top of my chain of command.

It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Spartan Sam.

Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.

There are no evil clowns living under my bed.

There is no ‘Anti-Mime’ campaign on Harvest.

I am not the Spartan Ops Mascot.

I may not line my helmet with tin foil to ‘Block out the space mind control lasers’.

May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper on duty

I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.

May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.

The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.”

I may not call block my chain of command.

I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.

Not allowed to wear MJOLNIR to any army functions.

May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.

May not form any press gangs.

Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with “I recently had an experience I just had to write you about….”

Must not use military vehicles to ‘Squish’ things.

May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the ‘field of honor’.

If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

Must not refer to the Commander as ‘Dad’.

I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.

When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony ‘Romper Bomper Stomper Boo’ is probably not appropriate.

Nerve gas is not funny.

Crucifixes do not ward off ONI officers, and I should not test that.

I am not in need of a more suitable host body.

The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not ‘Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.’

A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.

Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.

I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.

Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are “casualties of war”.

My commander is not old enough to have fought in the Second American Civil War, and I should stop implying that he did.

Vodka, green food coloring, and a ‘Cool Mint’ Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.

I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.

I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, Unggoy, Kalishnikovs, Covenant Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.

Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.

Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for the UEG.

I am not authorized to change national policy in the Eastern Orion Arm.

Never, ever, attempt to correct a Spartan II about anything.

I am not qualified to operate any Covenant, UNSC, Banished, or Swords of Sanghelios Armored vehicles.

I cannot trade my CO to the Covies.

Crucifying mice – bad idea.

Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires – therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.

I cannot arrest children for being rude.

An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.

Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.

I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Sangheli, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.

Two drink limit does not mean first and last.

Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.

Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.

‘No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages’ does not imply that a Jack Daniel’s ® IV is acceptable.

“Shpadoinkle” is not a real word.

The Microsoft ® ‘Dancing Paperclip’ is not authorized to countermand any orders.

‘I’m drunk’ is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.

The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.

The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.

The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.

Shouting ‘Let’s do the village! Let’s do the whole ****ing village!’ while out on a mission is bad.

Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Sangheli Combat Harness, messily drunk.

Even if my commander did it.

I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.

Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove ‘The Pen is Mightier than the sword’.

I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.

Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

J should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®.

Putting red ‘Mike and Ike’s’ ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.

Must not create new ONI forms, then insist they be filled out.

On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.

The proper way to report to my Commander is ‘Spartan Sam, reporting as ordered, Sir’ not ‘You can’t prove a thing!’

The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or MJOLNIR oil.

Shouldn’t treat ‘piss-bottles’ with extra-strength icy hot.

Teaching Sangheli children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.

I will no longer perform ‘lap-dances’ while in MJOLNIR.

The revolution is not now.

When detained by MP’s, I do not have a right to a strip search.

No part of the MJOLNIR armor is edible.

Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.

Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.

Take that hat off.

There is no such thing as a were-virgin.

I do not get ‘that time of month’.

No, the pants are not optional.

Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.

Not allowed to ‘defect’ to Covenant during training missions.

On training missions, try not to shoot down the General’s helicopter.

‘A full magazine and some privacy’ is not the way to help a potential suicide.

I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.

Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it’s actually ONI policy).

We do not ‘charge into battle, naked, like the Celts’.

Any device that can crawl across the table on medium, does not need to be brought into the office.

I am not to refer to a formation as ‘the boxy rectangle thingie’.

I am not ‘A lesbian trapped in a man’s body’.

On Army documents, my race is not ‘Other’.

Nor is it ‘Secretariat, in the third’.

Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.

There is no FM for ‘wall-to-wall counseling’.

My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®

When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something ‘I saw in a cartoon’.

My name is not a killing word.

I am not the Emperor of anything.

Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.

May not challenge officers to ‘Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn’.

Must not make s’mores while on guard duty.

Our Warthogs cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.

The proper response to a briefing is not ‘That’s what you think’.

The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.

Shouldn’t take incriminating photos of my chain of command.

Shouldn’t use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.

I am not allowed to give Spartan augmentations

Not allowed to lead a ‘Coup’ during training missions.

I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.

My chain of command is not interested in why I ‘just happen’ to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.

Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.

Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the “Safety Dance” and the “Safety Briefing” are never to be combined.

“To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.

NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an “Easter Desecration.”

Don’t write up false gigs on a Warthog PMCS. (“Broken clutch pedal”, “Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs”, “flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged”)

Not allowed to get shot.

Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civlians who are “hearing conversations” from the CMA, ONI, UNSC and SoS due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.

Must not make T-shirts up depciting a Grunt with the writing “Breath Oxygen or Die” in Unggoy to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to their homeworld.

Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don’t have, even if the ONI tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.

Do not convince NCO’s that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.

Do not lick Spartan IIs

Do not change Smart AI’s avatars to “obscene” things or pictures of my Cat

Do not show up to the UNSC Infinity in a “Anime Bunnysuit and fishnets”

Do not use a 560 year old H&K XM8 because ‘it looks enough like a battle rifle’

Well, that concludes the list. I probably shouldn’t have done some of these, but I definitely don’t regret the second to last (I looked hot AF).

#halo #spartan #halo shitpost #oni #halo shitposts #halo infinite

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ionlydrinkhotwater · 1 year

Text

TEARS WAITING TO BE DIAMONDS ESSAY BY @pap3r-cr0wn

It's long but worth it

Unearthing Diamonds:

Discovering the Hidden Storyline within TWTBD

This meta is based on my interpretation and reading of TWTBD, IOL, etc. Your mileage may vary.

I also wrote this while sick and during breaks at work, so I apologize for how rushed and messy it is.

Scope:

I will rely exclusively on what is written in IOL and TWTBD to support my arguments. I know that SRB has commented on her stories and answered fan questions, but I won’t be using those. Unlike her published stories which have gone through her drafting and editorial process, her responses to fans have not and are therefore, subject to change. Therefore, I consider only the published stories canon and author comments as highly persuasive, but non-canon.

On Elliot Being a Traitor:

Upon hearing the leader of the cart soldiers refer to the imprisoned dwarves as traitors, Elliot expresses skepticism towards the use of this label and invites the assembled soldiers, as well as the audience, to consider the following:

“What do we know about their trial?”

“Who’s to say they’re even traitors?”

Elliot Schafer in TWTBD

Thus, when the same label is applied to Elliot (in some cases, by Elliot himself), it should be remembered that the reader was encouraged at the start of the story to not simply accept the accusation of treason at face value. In fact, I will argue that almost nothing in TWTBD should be taken at face value.

On the Crime of Treason:

Treason is an attention-grabbing crime that most people think they understand, and, if the casual way it’s invoked by the media is any indication, almost no one actually does. It also has two dimensions to it: the legal and the political. I will begin by explaining the crime of treason from a legal perspective (both in the real world and within the story) and then I will move on to its use as a political tool. I will show that Elliot is not a traitor and that his admission of guilt is suspicious.

How is the crime of treason defined in the Borderlands? We cannot know for sure, but we can infer that the legal system within the Borderlands probably bears some resemblance to the UK legal system with some influences from Ancient Greece and Rome. Here is a quick list of text-based reasons for why I believe this is the case:

We know that within the Borderlands camp, most of the humans who immigrate from the other side of the wall are from the UK. The UK students, including Elliot, encounter no significant language barrier when they enter the Borderlands, and the nomenclature, slang, and even D&D-inspired surnames are reflective of UK/Western European conventions.

The sport of Trigon has its origins in Ancient Rome.

Adara mentions using silphium as a contraceptive in IOL which is one of the uses the Ancient Greeks and Romans used it for (among many other things).

Rachel Sunborn is an archetypal Spartan mother from those ancient joke books (I admit, this point is not dispositive, but I wanted to point this out because it’s funny).

NOTE: I will dispense with the treason laws in the UK that are tied specifically to actions against the monarch and their family.

For the sake of this analysis, the definitions of treason in ancient Greece, ancient Rome and the UK that actually apply to Elliot’s so-called treasonous acts in TWTBD are not so different that I need to deal with each individually. Instead, it’s more useful to look at their essential components to see if Elliot meets the definition of traitor under the law. For that reason, I will use the UK’s Treason Act 1351 since the elements of the crime are similar.

The Treason Act 1351 from the UK states that an individual is guilty of treason:

“if a[n] [individual] do levy war against [the state] in [the] realm or be adherent to the [state’s] enemies in [the] realm, giving to them aid and comfort in the realm, or elsewhere”. (I changed any reference to gender and to the King).

Elliot states the following in TWTBD:

“I’m guilty. Our side was wrong. So I gave away military secrets. I stopped a war. I’m a traitor and I should be executed….”

So, Elliot’s guilty as charged, right? Well, not necessarily.

Legally, the crime of treason is actually very narrowly defined, and, considering the severity of the punishment and the scope of the crime, it’s not without good reason. To quote the famous English jurist and judge, Sir William Blackstone in his Commentaries on the Laws of England and, specifically, on his commentary on high treason: “b[y] enemies are here understood the subjects of foreign powers with whom we are at open war.”

Incidentally, this is also how the term “enemies” (or sometimes “aggressors”), when used to define the crime of treason, is generally understood in many other jurisdictions (including the U.S.). This is why I said that most people don’t really understand the crime of treason because they don’t realize just how specific the set of circumstances must be for someone to meet the definition of treason under the law. Elliot states that he stopped a war so he certainly didn’t levy it against the Borderlands. Additionally, it is not enough for Elliot to aid a foreign power to be guilty of treason, he had to aid a foreign power with whom the Borderlands was in an open war, and textual evidence in TWTBD does not support that conclusion. Surprisingly, a key witness testimony for the Elliot’s defence comes from Prince Mark. While describing Luke, Mark says:

“The champion had brought a golden age of peace to the Borderlands.”

Based on this piece of testimony, we can conclude that the Borderlands was not in open war with anyone recently since that would be incompatible with the idea of a “golden era of peace”. We also don’t need to rely exclusively on Mark’s word either. If the Borderlands was involved in a war recently, I would assume that someone in the story would mention it (considering we’re in a military settlement, in a military-run state) or even make a passing reference to it. Recall that Elliot stated that the Borderlands was in the wrong, and that by passing along military secrets, he stopped a war. If we entertain the scenario that the Borderlands was in open war with a foreign power, and if these military secrets are so significant that possession of them by that foreign power can end the war, then Elliot’s actions either forced the Borderlands to surrender or resulted in a military loss. This is very unlikely. Aside from how dangerous this would be for Borderlands soldiers against whom the military secrets would be used if they were in open conflict (which Elliot would not let happen), it also would not fail to be huge news. Moreover, it would be odd for Mark to omit a recent military loss when speaking about the accomplishments of the Sunborn champion or even Commander Woodsinger, for whom he also expresses admiration. Instead, everyone, even those close to Elliot (like Myra) seem to have very little idea about what really happened. Elliot’s confession is also suspiciously lacking in details when he describes his so-called treason. Therefore, when Elliot says that he “stopped a war”, he means that by divulging military secrets to the other side, he prevented one from happening. This is the explanation that aligns best with the circumstances described in the story of TWTBD and what we know of Elliot.

But it also means that Elliot didn’t commit treason.

I can now imagine that some readers might reasonably point out that my argument so far relies on a legal definition of treason that may not apply at all in this fictional world. It’s possible that Elliot’s actions meet the definition of treason under the law of the Borderlands because it does not require the side to whom Elliot gave the military secrets to be in open war with the Borderlands.

Fair enough. Regardless of whether Elliot is actually guilty of treason or not (he isn’t), I will now argue that Elliot’s attitude of contrition and his confession of guilt are suspicious in light of the events of IOL and when the political dimension of the crime of treason is considered.

There are two salient incidents in IOL that illustrate Elliot’s relationship to the Borderlands justice system, the politics of the Borderlands and the state.

The first incident is when Elliot, Luke and Serene prevent a war between the human and elf alliance and the dwarves by stealing a treaty from Commander Rayburn’s office and showing it to the elves. In law, we have something called precedent. A precedent, in extremely simplified terms, is a previous court decision which is used as either a binding or persuasive authority to determine a ruling for a subsequent case involving similar facts and/or legal issues. Building on our previous discussion about the surrounding facts involved in Elliot’s so-called treason, we can draw a fairly strong comparison between the facts involved in this incident and what Elliot describes in TWTBD: the Borderlands were wrong, Elliot (along with Serene and Luke) delivered information to a foreign power, and they stopped a war.

When Elliot and company are confronted with how they obtained the treaty, Luke lies and says that they found it in the Sunborn library. Interestingly, the only consequence Elliot fears he and the others will suffer for what he terms as “technical treason”, is expulsion. Elliot also thinks this:

“…nobody wanted to discuss where the treaty had actually been. And nobody was going to expel a Sunborn.”

The second incident in IOL that illustrates Elliot’s relationship with the Borderlands’ legal and political system is Colonel Whiteleaf’s rebellion. Arguably, Whiteleaf’s actions are far closer to treasonous than anything Elliot does (levying war) and Whiteleaf’s reasons are far less sympathetic (entitlement and misogyny). As a member of the military, Whiteleaf is at least guilty of mutiny. Despite this, Whiteleaf suffers no legal consequences for mounting two violent attacks on the Borderlands camp and attempting a coup. Elliot uses the information he and Myra found about Whiteleaf’s family to blackmail the colonel into surrendering peacefully. While it’s annoying that Whiteleaf can walk away relatively unscathed from what he did, the system of the Borderlands protects people like Whiteleaf so he would have gotten away with it even if Elliot and Woodsinger attempted to bring him to justice. I think both Elliot and Woodsinger understood that the legal system in the Borderlands is a sad joke. This is why neither of them weaponized it when they had the chance. For better or worse, the laws of the Borderlands do not apply equally to all citizens. If you have the right last name (like Sunborn or Whiteleaf), even treason (technical or actual) can be hand-waved away. Instead, knowing that Whiteleaf would walk away from his actions without facing any real consequences, Elliot was able to eke out the only win he could get. In order for Elliot and Woodsinger to create a Borderlands where there is equal accountability, they have to play within the system for now. While I tend to roll my eyes when I hear things like “incremental change” and “working within the system”, it would be unfair to impose the way our world works on the Borderlands. Recall in IOL when Dale said:

“…the Border guard established a law that must be kept throughout the land, and enforce that law.” and “The backbone of the Border guard are the families who settled in the fortresses built along the Border itself centuries ago…”.

NOTE: Dale is a moron, so I assume, considering the many influences from Ancient Greece and Rome in the Borderlands, that when he says “centuries”, he is referring to a time period spanning thousands of years, not merely hundreds. While it is also possible that time is reckoned differently in the Borderlands, I doubt this considering the timing of the “school year” and Christmas celebrations align with our world.

Elliot has no choice but to work slowly and use the system since there is almost no infrastructure in place to support really significant reforms and even if there were, the populace of the Borderlands appear to lack any real political imagination or even political consciousness that would support huge societal/political reforms. This makes some sense when we consider that they have lived under the same system of military-run governance for centuries, under the same old families, and that, for those who come from the other side of the wall and who have lived under different systems than those of the Borderlands, they can always leave or turn to banditry. When marginalized groups in the Borderlands face hardships due to social inequality, their reaction isn’t anger towards the system, instead, they are socialized to view it as a result of a personal failing. Hence the defeatist attitude of the council course teachers.

This is why Elliot blackmailed Whiteleaf into performing a bit of political theatre because Elliot actually understands how Borderlands politics work. The people of the Borderlands seem to enjoy (and fall for) fairytales. Therefore, Elliot re-directed Whiteleaf’s (unearned) prestige and privilege into crafting a tale where a worthy warrior of an old family concedes to the superior leadership skills of his female rival-foe and they put aside their differences and a general amnesty is declared. It works. Not only does this stop the violence, but this actually helps to create a legitimizing story for Woodsinger’s regime as well as act as a deterrent to others who want to attempt a coup. It would be easy for Elliot and Woodsinger to give into a justifiable desire for personal vengeance (like when Adara tried to avenge Ben), but as we saw with that situation, this only results in never-ending cycles of violence and nothing changes.

Treason as a Political Tool

Treason is a political crime. Historically, it was used to legitimize and lionize the state. As a weapon of the state, it’s almost always ill-suited to purpose. When it is used in a court of law where the rule of law actually prevails, it usually fails because there are other crimes that fit the actions of the accused better. The main reason treason is brought up is as a form of political theatre. Usually, the times when people were successfully tried and found guilty of treason were when the treason laws were wielded by tyrants and/or in a climate where the rights of the accused and procedural justice were put aside in favour of high emotions and political fervour. A good example of this is how Henry VIII (and other English kings) used treason laws.

The Elliot Schafer we know has a healthy skepticism towards institutions, talks openly of revolution and, considering his cultural identity, probably has a justifiable dislike for zealous nationalism and capital punishment. Even if he was guilty of treason under the law of the Borderlands (and I still think he isn’t), he would be more likely to denounce such a broadly-worded treason law as corruptible and a tool for the state to exercise arbitrary violence on its citizens.

So why would he suddenly say out-of-character things like: “I’m a traitor and I should be executed.”?

Why would he offer his life to legitimize a legal system he knows is broken and biased?

Why would he want an execution to put an end to his dreams of peace and revolution?

Why would he want his execution to serve as a deterrent to others from doing the morally right thing when the state is in the wrong?

He wouldn’t. So, what’s going on here?

“What do we know about their trial?”

“Who’s to say they’re even traitors?”

Elliot Schafer in TWTBD

The Smokescreen

The interesting thing about confessing to a crime is that, in most legal systems, you avoid a full-blown trial and go straight to sentencing. Without a full-blown trial, there are no witnesses, no discovery process to find the facts of the case, and any on-going investigations are closed so that resources can go to other unsolved cases. I bring this up because I think it is relevant to Elliot’s case.

Here is my theory:

Elliot Schafer is not guilty of treason. He is guilty of a different crime and, in order to avoid the scrutiny and investigation that would commence if he was charged with that crime, Elliot with Woodsinger’s cooperation, confessed to committing treason in order to create a smokescreen to hide his true crime, a smokescreen he continues to utilize.

Recall what I said:

Treason is an attention-grabbing crime.

The people of the Borderlands lack intellectual and political curiosity (“…nobody wanted to discuss where the treaty had actually been.”)

People in the Borderlands don’t seem to understand what the crime of treason actually entails so they would accept Elliot and Woodsinger’s story at face value.

BOTH Elliot and Woodsinger understand the system and people of the Borderlands. They know that if Elliot says he’s guilty of treason, all people will care and gossip about is how he avoided execution.

What is the crime that Elliot Schafer committed?

What would merit a smokescreen like this?

The answer reveals the entire hidden plot line to TWTBD:

Elliot is guilty of espionage. To be honest, the type of espionage that Elliot committed may only amount to a misdemeanour, since the foreign agent to which he gave the military secrets was not an “enemy”.

“Confusion and misdirection were coward’s weapons…. Mark saw right through Mr. Schafer.”

Why would Woodsinger cooperate?

When Elliot has an emotional meltdown in Woodsinger’s office, Woodsinger says this to him:

“It is possible that I believe you might - might - have the potential to be even more useful than a capable medic,.”

In the Borderlands, Luke and Serene are heroes because they protect people and save lives. Woodsinger, whose politics are more aligned to Elliot’s than any other character in the series, recognizes that Elliot is a hero too. In fact, in terms of numbers, Elliot has saved more lives with his treaties and blackmail than any individual warrior could hope to do.

Recall that Woodsinger also appointed Elliot to be a teacher, which is a job he still has in TWTWB. Even before Elliot realized it, she was helping Elliot to plant the seeds of revolution and reform in the younger generation, before time could calcify their worldview. Even though Woodsinger is firmly fixed within the establishment, I think she is a revolutionary and a reformist herself and Elliot’s actions reignited that spark in her.

Basically, they’re a less problematic M and Bond.

Why would treason be preferable to espionage?

Elliot stated that he gave away military secrets. This raises a few questions: How did he get his hands on these secrets? How did he get the information to the other side? Who was his contact on the other side?

Even the charge of espionage would draw attention to Elliot’s and Commander Woodsinger’s operation. While it’s true that people in the Borderlands are shockingly uncurious, I think anyone would be curious about an underground spy network with potential connections to Commander Woodsinger.

Here is what I think occurred:

Luke and Serene were off on a mission, so Elliot could not rely on them. The Border guards were doing something suspicious. I assume they were doing something that would create a misunderstanding that could then be used to justify a war. Elliot had to act quickly to stop this, and so, his methods had to be cruder than usual. As a result, Elliot, Woodsinger and their contacts were almost compromised. Elliot and Woodsinger used “confusion and misdirection” to protect their contacts and their intelligence network by having Elliot confess to treason and claim responsibility for the entire thing. They were also careful to keep their story as vague as possible to avoid too much scrutiny. Woodsinger capitalized on the fact that Elliot confessed to the crime to lessen his punishment to exile. Elliot’s exile to Westering is now his cover so that he can get on with his real mission which is to run an intelligence network bent on achieving world peace, investigate criminal activities occurring in the more remote and lawless fortresses, and radicalize school children on the side.

Apparent Discrepancies in TWTBD:

In this part of the meta, I’m going to go through the story of TWTBD and point out strange moments, questions, and discrepancies that hint that things are not what they seem and also, that knowing how doors work is the key to unlocking (pun intended) the real story of TWTBD.

And don’t worry, I will address the Luke and Elliot thing too.

I will then provide my reading of the story which explains how everything actually makes sense.

The World Through a Keyhole:

We are told the story through the limited perspective of Prince Mark, a sheltered royal living under a rock and everything he sees is filtered through his myopic worldview and trauma.

When the story opens, he mentions that his nurse is speaking to him from behind a locked door. Mark also mentions that his key is the only one that opens his door.

The order of events after Mark opens his door is important and I will bullet point them here:

The door swings open;

Mark looks around and sees all the entrances cut off by his uncle’s men who are ready to kill him; “Mark attempted no escape”.

He pivots and kills his nurse.

Mark is attacked from behind and knocked unconscious.

QUESTION: How was Mark attacked from behind when he is standing at the entrance of his room that only his key can open?

When Mark temporarily regains consciousness, he feels himself being bundled onto a cart and one of the voices says this line to him:

“This is all I can do for you. Courage, my prince. You’ll need it where you’re going.”

QUESTION: Does Mark’s rescuer know where he’s headed?

When Mark recovers, he steals keys from the guard and feels ashamed about it. The text says this:

“A true prince would find a way to free his people, not only himself. A sergeant at arms helped Mark unloop the chains from around his chest and a private kicked him roughly off the cart.”

“Run fast, my prince!” shouted the sergeant. “Run far!”

QUESTION: Why didn’t they unlock all of their chains and then attack the cart soldiers and flee as a group?

It’s not as though each lock has its own special key (that wouldn’t make sense at all, and even if we allow for that absurdity, why wouldn’t they steal all the keys? Why wouldn’t all the keys be on the same ring?). Also, if they had unlocked everyone’s chains, it would’ve been easier to attempt an escape since all the dwarves on the cart are members of a troop and are capable fighters.

QUESTION: Why kick him off the cart and then shout about it?

They completely sabotaged Mark’s attempted escape.

When they arrive at Westering, the leader of the cart soldiers says about the dwarves in the cart:

“…. A troop of dwarves!….their king wants them to serve life for treason.”

QUESTION: Are we really supposed to believe that the baby-murdering usurper king is anti-capital punishment or something? Also, if the cart soldiers are soldiers, to which fortress are they affiliated? Obviously, they can’t be operating independently or they would be mercenaries.

Mark says “Surely traitors are executed.” when he finds out that Elliot was exiled for treason, so we know that in his kingdom, traitors are executed. So why wasn’t he? His uncle murdered all of Mark’s siblings-including his little sisters- because even an infant legitimate heir is enough to topple his plans. His uncle is brutal and thorough and yet he seemingly makes the colossal tactical error of letting a legitimate heir and a group of seasoned warriors out of his sight. Also, there’s no mention of the troop having any serious injuries, so are we to believe they surrendered and consigned themselves to slaving away in a mine without a fight?

The redheaded man had a ledger with him, and an extremely peculiar writing implement. The ledger crashed against the side of the cart.

QUESTION: Why did Elliot throw or smash his ledger against the side of the cart?

I know he’s melodramatic but what is this? He’ll even go so far as to climb the side of the cart too. What are you up to, Elliot?

Despite Arch’s offer to buy a few of the dwarves’ contracts, Elliot only takes Mark.

QUESTION: We know that Elliot ultimately saves them, but why didn’t he take a few of them anyway? Wouldn’t they have been helpful allies?

According to Piper, she was sent to the fortress with Elliot because she kept causing explosions.

QUESTION: Since when did that become an issue at the Border camp?

Elliot caused explosions all the time with his otherland gadgets.

Mark recalls this about the Sunborn Champion:

“Unrivalled in war, friend to elves and mermaids, hero of land and sea…. The champion had brought a golden age of peace to the Borderlands.”

QUESTION: So Elliot is a no-name traitor and Luke single-handedly brought peace and friendship to the land through the power of handsomeness?

It’s been seven years, so how’s the revolution going, Comrade Schafer?

When discussing whether Elliot knows the Sunborn Champion, Piper says:

“…but Mr. Schafer used to get letters from a lot of important people.”

To which, Illyria responds:

“Or does he say they’re from a lot of important people.”

QUESTION: How does Piper know about Elliot’s correspondence? Also, if she knows at least this much, why doesn’t she provide any names to help support her story? How would you know that someone is important if you don’t know who they are?

When Myra arrives at Westering, she is surprised when Mark refers to himself as a prince. Later, when Mark, Illyria and Piper break into Elliot’s office, they hear Myra say the following:

“-where could he be? asked Myra. “I have to explain. We never talked about the dwarven side of the family. We had a lot of impressive jewelry, but I thought perhaps that was normal for dwarves. I knew my parents married in spite of family opposition, but then- they weren’t happy.”

QUESTION: So what was the point of Myra in this story? To have her name invoked to gain the trust of a prince, arrive in person and have a disastrous interaction with that prince, feel bad about it, know nothing of her dwarven heritage and then, after feeling sad for Elliot, disappear from the story?

Recall that Myra says this in IOL: “We’re going to be sent to our new postings, and we have to decide where to apply.” and “I want to go live among the dwarves,…”.

This was an important part of Myra’s character arc in IOL. Her dwarven identity caused her a lot of hardship in IOL. She faced bullying and hid her face during the incident when the humans almost went to war with the dwarves. She mentions how dismissively Dale Wavechaser treated her because of her dwarven heritage. It was admirable that Myra wanted to live with the dwarves and to embrace that part of her identity and shed the human supremacist nonsense she experienced at Border camp.

I also refuse to believe that the Myra who helped Elliot investigate the discrepancies in Whiteleaf’s war stories (which Elliot used to blackmail Whiteleaf), would be so useless.

Elliot responds to Myra’s question about Luke’s letters:

“I haven’t read his letters. What’s the point? I know what they say. I chose to be a traitor to everyone. I chose the end of everything. I don’t need to torture myself past the end.”

QUESTION: But he’s still friends with Myra? What about Serene? Why is it only Luke who would care about the traitor thing?

Also, as I’ve established, Elliot is not a traitor, and in this scene, he describes a scenario which sounds a lot like what he, Luke and Serene did when they were kids.

When Piper finds a map she says:

“Mark!” Piper held up a map. “A days march from our Westering fortress is Deepfort. There’s a mine by Deepfort. Mr. Schafer noted it’s a gold mine.”

QUESTION: Recall when I said that knowing how doors work is important to this story? How did Elliot and Myra not hear Piper basically yelling out the details of their plan to storm a fortress when it is very clear that the kids could hear the literal emotions in Elliot and Myra’s voices when they spoke in low conversational tones?

“They (meaning the kids) froze on hearing Myra of the Diamond Clan’s voice, sweet and low…”.

Also, the scene immediately cuts to the kids at the fortress. Elliot had his hand on the doorknob (they saw it turn), so how did they get out of the office before he came inside?

When the dwarves leave the mine, a dwarven girl presented Mark with a battle axe that the dwarves made in secret.

QUESTION: What? How? Wouldn’t the dwarven prisoners be searched? Isn’t this a gold mine? What’s the axe made of? Gold? Humans wouldn’t have a weapon’s forge in a mine and certainly not a gold mine. Also, if the dwarves could make and hide weapons, why wouldn’t they use them to escape?

Also, the dwarves poured out of the mine after Mark shouts his family’s words (Light in the dark; clear as a diamond) at them.

QUESTION: Were there no guards down there? Aren’t gold mines deep and big? They may be familiar with the significance of those words, but how did they recognize it as a signal that they were being rescued?

Also, there is this line:

“Sword clashed against axe. Their cry rang out in defiance against the terrifying sky. “Light in the dark! Clear as a diamond!”

Mark also mentions that a Westering guard struck the axe from his hand, but the guard was killed in the next moment. Mark feared he wouldn’t get the chance to pick his weapon up.

QUESTION: So are the dwarves fighting alongside the kids? That would make more sense than Ilyria and Mark fighting entire groups of guards alone. But then, what weapons are the dwarves using to fight? More secret battle-axes? Again, if the dwarves had access to weapons, why didn’t they use them to fight the humans and escape?

Piper asks: “Can someone take me to materials I might fashion into explosives?”

QUESTION: Didn’t Piper explode two fortified doors and part of the fortress’s wall? Did she already run out of explosives? How did she transport all the explosives she used before?

“There were more soldiers than Deepfort ones here. The men of Westering fortress must have missed them far more swiftly than Mark had hoped.”

QUESTION: Why would they send so many men to go after three missing kids?

Elliot says this to Captain Arch:

“I’ve gathered evidence of you skimming off the top, selling off weapons and grain supplements.”

Then Luke shows up and Elliot says:

“He’s only committed petty crimes…. He and most of his men need to be fined,….”

QUESTION: Since when is arms trafficking a petty crime? To whom were they selling the weapons?

Elliot says this to Luke:

“This is my pupil, Prince Marcus of the Diamond Clan….”

QUESTION: Why didn’t Elliot just introduce Mark as a prince like this to the class at the Westering fortress? Why didn’t he introduce Mark like this in his letters to Myra and spare her and Mark the embarrassment?

“It seemed Mr. Schafer had summoned forces from the Border camp…”

QUESTION: If Westering and Deepfort are remote fortresses, how did the Border camp forces arrive at such a convenient time? Presumably, Westering is closer to Deepfort than the Border camp.

“He would have to stay, with his strange new friends.”

QUESTION: So Captain Arch and his men had to pay fines for their petty crimes, but they are still at the fortress, right? Aren’t things at the fortress going to be really awkward for Mark and Elliot? Especially with Captain Arch?

The big picture questions I have are this:

What do Mark and Elliot’s stories have to do with each other?

What was the point of Myra in this story?

What can we learn about the 7 year gap between IOL and TWTBD?

The Hidden Story of TWTBD

For the first part of this, I need you to suspend your disbelief since it will seem as though I am making things up from thin air. Stick with me, and hopefully it will all come together in the end. Also, if you find this a bit confusing, I will have a summary of my full theory at the end.

The Timing of the Coup

Unlike the rest of his family, Mark is the only one who did not have an assassin planted in his bedroom. His baby sisters had their nurses, his older brothers and father had lovers (no mention of his mom). Why would Mark’s uncle choose to make his move now when he’d been so careful to plant spies and assassins in his family’s inner circle for years? Why didn’t he wait a few years for Mark to have a lover? Mark’s little sisters were infants so even in two to three years, they would still have live-in nurses.

I have a theory for why Mark’s uncle felt he had to seize the throne when he did. The first answer is that the king (under the influence of certain forces which I will explain later) has been looking into the issue of dwarf trafficking. Mark’s uncle knew his name would come up

(“…dwarves this fortress had been collecting for years. Perhaps his uncle had handed some over”),

and his brother would turn on him. The second answer is that a troop of highly skilled, loyal dwarves who Mark’s uncle couldn’t persuade to take bribes and who he could not count on defeating were enlisted by his brother, the late king, to go on a certain secret mission. That mission was to allow themselves to be captured by traffickers, pretend to be prisoners and, when the time was right, they would mount a rescue. If one of his main obstacles to usurping the throne was going to let themselves be hauled off by humans, especially humans he’s had dealings with before, then he would he would take this boon and welcome. There would be no rescue and he would abandon the troop to their fate.

Why would the late king sent the troop of dwarves on this mission and who influenced this decision?

Myra of the Diamond Clan. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Myra is a former council course student, like Elliot;

She lived with the dwarves for a few years after completing her training at the Border camp;

We also know, from what Mark realizes when he sees the dwarves at Deepfort, that the capture and enslavement of dwarves in human mines has gone on for years. It also may go both ways as Celaeno says in IOL regarding the human prisoners: “We could sell them as slaves to the dwarves…”.

We are not told what Myra’s job or rank is in TWTBD.

Elliot has been collecting information on the Deepfort’s trafficking before the story of TWTBD started.

There is more and I will also address what Mark overheard Myra saying outside Elliot’s office, but I will get to that in a bit.

For now, here is what I think happened:

Myra, Elliot and Woodsinger all have their own very good reasons to be ideologically opposed to the trafficking and slavery going on between the dwarves and the humans (a de facto slave trade with the label of penal servitude slapped on top). On the surface, Myra, like most council course members, probably performs administrative duties and accompanies military officers on official diplomatic missions and negotiations involving humans and dwarves. In reality, Myra, a shrewd and brilliant scholar, serves as a diplomatic liaison between the dwarves and humans as a member of Elliot and Woodsinger’s intelligence network.

Let’s assume that Mark’s rescuer (who probably used a secret entrance or passage to get into Mark’s room to “attack” him from behind) is in contact with Myra and knows about the secret mission the late king gave to the troop of dwarves. He knows the cart left before the coup started. The rescuer used the secret passage to sneak Mark out of his home (and probably changed his clothes so he wouldn’t stand out). The rescuer intercepted the cart and told the cart soldiers -and by extension, the troop of dwarves- about the coup, the dead royal family, and the new king. The cart soldiers needn’t fear reprisal from the current regime since the new king considers these dwarves traitors who should spend the rest of their lives in servitude…and also take this other, unconscious dwarf. Then he put Mark in the cart, where Mark temporarily regained consciousness and said his line (“Courage, my prince…”).

The Behaviour of the Troop

The troop of dwarves found themselves in a pickle. Not only were they unable to prevent the coup and save the royal family, but now they can’t go back home. Their mission is also in a state of limbo and they also have the last surviving member of the royal family on their hands. If they wanted to, they could use their skills to attempt an escape, but they wouldn’t. They owed it to their people and late king to see this mission through and they had to be careful not to draw too much attention to Mark in case his uncle found out he was alive and tried to assassinate him. On the other hand, if the humans in Deepfort find out that they have the last surviving heir to the throne, Mark would become a valuable hostage. The humans might offer to “take care” of Mark for his uncle in exchange for the uncle giving them huge amounts of wealth or more slaves or they might keep Mark and make him a puppet king through which they can exercise undue influence on the dwarven kingdom and incite wars all of which will only benefit the humans.

Unfortunately, Mark’s just a sheltered prince with poor self-preservation skills. He is clueless about the mission he’s complicating with his presence. He also fails to realize that his existence is a potentially destabilizing force for both the dwarves and the humans.

So the kid steals the guard’s keys and tries to escape.

The troop of dwarves don’t bother to unlock their own chains or try to escape because they’re determined to see their mission through, but they let Mark believe they are helping him escape. The truth is, Mark, who is unused to the surface world, would probably just get captured again, and if he tries to return home, his uncle will murder him. A private kicks Mark off the cart and the sergeant shouts for him to run. I find it odd and careless that the sergeant refers to Mark as a prince here, but considering that the humans don’t show any indication that they know that Mark is a prince, then the sergeant was either careful not to say “prince” loudly, or maybe he used the dwarven term for prince? I can’t really explain that part. Anyway, I do think the troop intentionally spoiled Mark’s escape attempt in order to keep him alive. Yes, he and sergeant were beaten, but better beaten than dead.

When the cart arrives at Westering, Elliot immediately goes on an anti-trafficking spiel, crashes his ledger against the cart and singles out Mark.

Elliot knows about the mission (he is working with Myra and he is investigating Deepfort, after all). He sees Mark, and recognizes that he should not be there. There is something interesting in how Elliot immediately asks Mark if he’s twelve. It is as though he suspects something about Mark’s identity.

Mark mentions his affiliation to the Diamond clan right away, but Elliot only interrupts him when he refers to himself as a prince, as though he wants to undermine that statement and use the interruption as a distraction. More importantly, Elliot says:

“Any relation to Myra of the Diamond Clan?…”. I think Elliot’s interruption serves a lot of purposes here. It deflects attention from Mark referring to himself as a prince and I think that by invoking Myra’s name, he’s not only making a connection with Mark, Elliot is also letting the troop of dwarves know that he is part of the mission, that despite all the setbacks, the mission is still on and that he and Myra will be in contact with them. I also think that Elliot crashed his ledger into the cart and then climbed into the cart on purpose. To the Westering soldiers, Elliot is just being his usual melodramatic self, but I think he used his opportunity to pass a message to the troop of dwarves.

This is why the troop of dwarves are so silent throughout this exchange, why the sergeant turned from Mark and why Elliot didn’t take up Arch’s offer to buy a few of the prisoner’s contracts. Elliot basically let them know that he will look after the prince so they can get on with the mission.

A Little Bird Told Me…

Was anyone else suspicious about the private?

“We’re not unexcel.”

“Unethical,” hissed a private at Arch’s back.

“Funnily enough, when systems rely on free labour from prisoners, many get unjustly convicted. That is, say it with me now-“

“Unethical,” murmured the private.

“…a private appeared reporting a tally of the grain delivery from the villagers.”

This private is absolutely Elliot’s agent. Arch thinks that the private is under his command, but I believe that this private (and I imagine many people in various fortresses in the Borderlands) are actually agents of Woodsinger and Elliot’s network. It make sense as well since there are a lot events that come up later that would require Elliot to have someone who is an insider (or rather, infiltrator) in Westering. Also, upon mentioning my theory about the private to my twin, ionlydrinkhotwater, she brilliantly suggested that this could be Cyril Leigh from IOL. I have no proof for this, but I want it to be true. Also, considering that Elliot made Cyril take out library books for him, collect letters for him, and was probably one of the people Elliot had in mind when he told Woodsinger about the people he terrorized into spying for him, it would fit. It doesn’t matter who this private is though, because what’s significant is that this character shows how Elliot’s reformist politics have gained traction in the Borderlands, and that Elliot has someone planted within Westering’s power structure who can assist him with his investigations. It also makes Arch’s posturing about being in command of the fortress even funnier.

Speaking of Elliot’s agents, I also want to talk about Piper.

Piper and Elliot came from the Border camp together:

“After more incidents at the Border camp, I was sent away. Mr. Schafer was exiled here, so it worked out.”

“Certainly more peaceful than before you came with your explosions, and Mr. Schafer was exiled here for treason.”

I am suspicious that Elliot allowed his student to be sent away for causing explosions when he used to do the same thing when he was in training and he was never sent away. As I’ve already stated, Elliot is not actually a traitor and I don’t think Piper is at Westering because she was sent away as punishment. Piper is with Elliot because she is his protege and spy.

Like Woodsinger, Piper shares Elliot’s political views and unlike most people in the Borderlands, Piper seems to possess intellectual and scientific curiosity. Where else have we seen explosions occur in the Borderlands? The wall. In IOL, Elliot mentions that he was probably the only one who conducted experiments with the wall. I imagine that Piper has taken over that project. It also makes sense that Piper would go with Elliot to Westering. Not only because of mutual affection, but because Elliot knows that someone less scrupulous may try to use Piper’s scientific (and destructive) talent. The last thing he wants is for her to end up part of a Borderlands version of the Manhattan Project.

As a character, Piper seems to know everyone’s business. She succinctly summarizes her and Elliot’s situation - providing very little detail - as if she was reciting the cover story she is supposed to tell. She also knows Ilyria’s backstory in detail as well and she is immediately interested in Mark’s story too. Piper is like Elliot, if Elliot was instantly likeable and enjoyed explosions.

Even though Mark thinks Piper is skeptical about his story about being a prince, on re-read, that is only Mark’s interpretation. Unlike Illyria, Piper never says that she does not believe him. In fact, her first words to him are: “So you’re from the dwarven kingdom underground?” after he went into his spiel. Mark does notice that Piper stares at him in a wondering manner, the same way people do when he talks about being a prince, but Piper stares at him and Illyria that way for lots of reasons.

“Piper stared at them in a wondering manner. Usually Mr. Schafer did this too…”

Also recall that Piper asks Mark if he knows why people stare at him when he talks about being a prince. Both Elliot and Piper are interested in his answer. It’s clear from this exchange that Elliot knows that no one believes Mark, so it’s interesting that he doesn’t “defend” his student who is being treated as a liar and, from what Mark says here-

“…being surrounded by disbelief made Mark feel as if it weren’t real…”

He’s getting gaslit constantly. Elliot’s reasons are understandable for the reasons I outlined earlier. I think Piper was instructed by Elliot not to talk about Mark’s real identity and to keep an eye on any student who might suspect that Mark is telling the truth and try to use that information.

There is also this exchange:

Illyria says this to Mark and Piper:

“Mr. Schafer started the rumours he has been exiled to teach in this fortress outpost for a grand crime.”

Illyria’s getting a little close to the truth and it makes Piper uncomfortable.

“I don’t know,” murmured Piper.

She also says this:

“…Mr. Schafer used to get letters from a lot of important people.”

Firstly, it’s significant that Piper knows about Elliot’s letters. Elliot used to know about Woodsinger’s letters because he terrorized (Cyril, probably) his students to keep an eye on them for him and report anything interesting. It is how he knew that Woodsinger had reached out to Calaeno. Either Piper is one of Elliot’s messengers or she is spying on him. I don’t think Piper is sneaking around and finding out about Elliot’s letters behind his back though, because if that was so, then why, when Illyria expresses skepticism about Elliot getting letters from important people, does Piper not name anyone? She could have said: I saw his letters. He got a letter from so-and-so. Instead, Piper stays silent. Also, I doubt that Elliot goes around talking about how he gets letters from important people, as Illyria suggests. That’s really out of character. What I think happened here is that Piper felt a protective urge to defend Elliot when he was being badmouthed and because Illyria is sort of right about Elliot pretending to be a traitor, but then Piper realized she may have said too much and clammed up.

Recall that Mark barely needed to convince Piper to join his cause, unlike Ilyria who he had to convince. Her politics are an echo of Elliot’s and I also think she knows about Elliot’s plans for the dwarven prisoners (I’ll get to that later).

Mark, Illyria and Piper made plans to break into Elliot’s office when the opportunity arose. The text says: “Mark’s chance came when a visitor arrived.”

What was it about Myra’s visit that created an opportunity for Mark and friends to break into Elliot’s office? It’s especially odd since Mark left the room in an emotional and dramatic state after his brief encounter with Myra. Not to mention that Elliot came to his office shortly after the kids broke in. It doesn’t seem like Myra’s visit was that great of an opportunity so much as that Mark was at the end of his rope.

Here is my theory about Piper:

Piper knew about the mission involving the dwarves. She knew that Elliot already had the Border guard stationed near Deepfort. She knew that the Deepfort prisoner revolt (yes, that was going to happen regardless of whether Mark was there or not), was scheduled to happen tomorrow. Myra showing up to Westering was the signal that things were a go for tomorrow. That’s why Piper is the one who suggested they break into the office. She wanted her, Mark and Illyria to be the ones who kickstarted the revolt: to save Illyria’s reputation and to let Mark be the one to help free his people.

When Elliot and Myra reach his office, the kids can hear their conversation outside the door with amazing clarity. Presumably, Elliot and Myra could hear them just as well.

Interestingly, Mark states that Piper “roamed Mr. Schafer’s office at random”. She is also the one who just so happens to find exactly what they needed:

“Mark!” Piper held up a map. “A day’s march from our Westering fortress is Deepfort. There’s a mine by Deepfort. Mr. Schafer noted it’s a gold mine.”

Mark assumed Piper was searching at random, but that’s only what it looks like to him because he doesn’t suspect that Piper knows any more than he does about where his men are. I think that Piper looked in seemingly random (but actually very specific) places in Elliot’s office because she was looking for the map.

Not only does she happen to find the conveniently-marked map they need, she even knew it was a day’s march from Westering. Also I guess Piper put on her best NPC-exposition voice when she said her lines. Elliot and Myra definitely heard her and I think that was what she intended (once again, knowing how doors work helps us solve the puzzle).

At that point, I imagine Elliot and Myra had to engage in some awkward and loud small talk until they were certain the kids had escaped the office. I will get to what I think Myra and Elliot did later.

We can’t underestimate just how smart Piper actually is. Recall that Piper set up multiple timed explosives at Deepfort without the benefit of clocks or gadgets. She had to calculate and keep track of the rate at which her fuses would burn and when detonation would occur for each explosive in her head, in the middle of battle. She is also both confident and unfazed during the battle at Deepfort.

Finally, I want to address Elliot and Piper’s relationship. Woodsinger made Elliot feel like his skills were valuable, his interest in culture and peace were valid and she used her position of authority to protect him and give him the space to use those skills to make the Borderlands a better place. I think it’s sweet that Elliot is doing the same for Piper. In many ways, Elliot is keeping the promising to Piper that he Borderlands breaks with so many other kids. Otherland kids are lured by the promise that they are going to be badass heroes in a magical fantasy land and by the time they realize it’s never going to happen, they are jaded and bitter. With Piper, Elliot offered her the chance to join his intelligence network whose goals are social reform, justice and world peace which she can help achieve by using the skills everyone else dismisses. Piper is misunderstood and a displaced orphan. She’s living in a world that’s alien to her and fears her skills. It says a lot about her and about Elliot that despite all that, she manages to be one of the most cheerful, kind and brave people in the story.

What’s Going On With the Revolution?

The thing about agitators, reformers and revolutionaries is that once they start to gain real momentum, they get a target on their backs. It seems odd that Elliot isn’t dealing with assassination attempts all the time and that he isn’t famous either. The Borderlands has had the same system of governance for centuries (and probably longer). The old families should be horrified by Elliot and Woodsinger’s reforms. In a world in which there is lasting and substantial peace, the power and influence of the military will fade, giving way to a new power structure (hopefully more representative and egalitarian). Elliot threatens the power of the old families. He threatens to destroy the only system they have ever known and the privileges they didn’t even realize they enjoyed. I imagine he isn’t only trying to create lasting peace, either. I think that he, and his students (many of whom would be adults by now) are tackling social justice reforms on various fronts: gender, culture, science, justice, etc.. Are some of Elliot’s students writing best-selling anti-war fiction? Are some lobbying for reforms to the justice system? Are Elliot’s allies trying to motivate the villagers to consider other forms of governance that don’t privilege the interests of the military over their interests? What about worker’s unions? The traditionalists should be worried. It’s not just the human power structures that are under threat. I suspect Elliot is assisting Golden with the suffrage-elf movement and as I’ve argued here, he’s also helping Myra to abolish penal servitude and trafficking between the dwarves and humans. Yet, the only time we see Elliot in danger is when he specifically places himself in danger.

So, is the revolution a bust? Is the reason that Elliot is not a target, or even well-known because he hasn’t accomplished anything and he isn’t really trying to do any sweeping reforms?

Hell no.

Firstly, one of the reasons the traditionalists don’t know about the revolutions slowly spreading throughout the Borderlands is that I think at this point, they are underground movements.

Secondly, the reason Elliot is not a known figure, despite the reforms that have already taken place, is because Elliot pins them all on Luke.

Recall what I said earlier about Elliot knowing the Borderlands and how its people think and how they love fairytales. Remember how Elliot handled the diplomatic incident with the Elf-Dwarf treaty and Whiteleaf’s mutiny. Luke is a universally loved figure in the Borderlands.

“Unrivalled in war, friend to elves and mermaids, hero of land and sea…. The champion had brought a golden age of peace to the Borderlands.” - Mark, TWTBD

“I wish you would not start a revolution” - Luke Sunborn, IOL

Luke supports Elliot, but he is not responsible for the Borderland’s age of peace, the alliances between the mermaids and humans, and the many other things for which he is given credit and which is almost certainly the result of the hard work done by Elliot and many nameless others. I also don’t think Elliot gives Luke the credit because he loves him or thinks that Luke needs even more privilege and credit than he already has. It’s funny that Luke is known as the Sunborn Champion and held up as the ideal Sunborn son when he is actually the outlier of his family. Luke is actually the ideal son of the Borderlands: a good soldier, non-political, respectful to authority, patriotic and brave. If America’s highly mythologized version of George Washington was real, that would be what Luke is to the Borderlands. Elliot is more than happy to wield Luke’s privilege because it’s effective.

Luke flattens nicely into an uncontroversial symbol upon which anyone can impose their preferred worldview. The old families see Luke as the ideal scion of the oldest family and advocate for their interests. Nothing Luke Sunborn does could possibly threaten the power and security of the old families and the traditionalists, because he’s their man and one of them. For the non-political crowd, Luke Sunborn is a fairy tale hero. Whatever he does, it’s good and just and there’s no need for any deeper scrutiny. For those who actually support political reforms, Luke is a valuable ally who is willing to look past his position of privilege and throw his support behind reforms that will topple the system that has always benefited him. Finally, for those who violently oppose reform and threats to the oppressive status quo, the threat of violence from the Sunborn Champion will force them to think twice about trying to resist. Elliot may be a pacifist, but he doesn’t force that decision on others, and in international politics, the fear of war and threat of violence is one of the inescapable ways to enforce peace.

With Luke as a symbol, Elliot and Woodsinger have a lot of latitude to enact significant reforms in the Borderlands in the background before the old families have a chance to realize what’s going on. This may seem dishonest and manipulative, and it is, but the Borderlands does not seem to have the concept of transparency in governance, and popular voting. The idea of a woman of colour in power almost sparked a civil war that only ended through when Elliot blackmailed Colonel Whiteleaf. The methods are not ideal, but we know that Elliot and Woodsinger are sincere in their beliefs and that the other side is not willing to engage with them in good faith (or at all, really), so they have no choice.

I also think it’s interesting to note who is known in the Borderlands and who isn’t. Based on what Mark says, Luke Sunborn is famous, Elliot is not, Serene is famous, Golden is not, and he knows about Woodsinger, but he didn’t know about his cousin Myra. I think this is intentional. I think Elliot, Myra, and Golden are revolutionary leaders and effective reformists, but they use Luke, Serene, (sometimes) Woodsinger, and (eventually) Mark as public faces to sell their reforms to the general public.

Maybe someday when there’s a Borderlands University, there will be students writing papers on how history totally erased the actions of marginalized people like Elliot and Myra and Golden, and then they’ll de-platform some Whiteleaf apologist who’s invited to give a talk in DeWitt Hall on why the Colonel Whiteleaf Library should keep its name and not be changed to the Cyril Leigh Library, because history. Could happen.

What’s Going On With Elliot and Luke?

“But life teaches us that sometimes we must make compromises.”

It’s interesting that Elliot has both a personal and a political relationship with Luke. For almost seven years, he was able to have it both ways. He could utilize Luke as a symbol for his reforms and also just have Luke be his boyfriend. I think the he knew this was a delicate balance to maintain. I mentioned earlier in this meta that I think Elliot had to take on the mantle of traitor to protect his job (his real job: revolutionary leader, political reformer, diplomat/spy) and those who work for and with him (his network and contacts). Elliot realized that his symbol, Luke Sunborn, should not be attainted by association with a known traitor. The balance was destroyed and now Elliot had to make a compromise. He either sacrificed his professional and moral integrity by staying with Luke and jeopardize everything for which he’s worked all these years, or he can end his personal relationship with Luke and maintain Luke’s public image for the sake of the revolution.

Elliot chose.

Except he didn’t. I personally believe that in the seven years they’ve had to grow and cultivate their skills, Elliot and Luke became equally hyper-competent at their respective jobs. Luke is a superhero and Elliot is a master of intrigues. I also believe despite the passage of seven years, there’s some strains of stupidity that are chronic.

If Elliot wanted, he could have actually broken up with Luke. Instead, Elliot assumed that if he went off in exile and stopped answering Luke’s letters, Luke would eventually end things with him. He also refused to read Luke’s letters to confirm this.

Does any of this sound kind of familiar?

Recall in IOL that Elliot believed he would be doing the just and valiant thing if he broke up with Luke. Then he didn’t.

Elliot didn’t break up with Luke during his exile and he didn’t read Luke’s “break up” letters either. In that way, he kept their relationship in a Schrodinger’s box-like limbo.

Elliot has integrity and sincere political beliefs. I think he is willing to die or endure any number of hardships for the sake of his beliefs. Elliot is also human. So it’s really funny that breaking up with Luke seems to be the one line he can’t bring himself to cross and the one compromise he can’t bring himself to make.

I think when Luke appears and Elliot can’t help but call him by the endearment, “Loser”, it was Elliot’s way of giving up on trying to compromise between his beliefs and his personal attachment to Luke. I also think that seeing Luke have a big hero moment reminded Elliot that Sunborn charisma is a law of nature in the Borderlands and Luke cannot be cancelled so maybe he shouldn’t overthink this.

I also think Elliot is absolutely overestimating the political acuity of his opponents. He’s out here playing 4D chess and they’re choking on checker pieces.

“But I thought you said when you’re an adult, you must learn how to compromise?” When he looked around, Mr. Schafer was grinning.

“I didn’t say I was good at it.”

Why Did Elliot and Myra Say That?

“I’m guilty. Our side was wrong. So I gave away military secrets. I stopped a war. I’m a traitor and I should be executed….”

If Elliot and Myra were having a private discussion together, why would they say these things unless they meant them?

From Mark’s point of view, Myra appears to feel bad about not knowing her dwarven heritage and embarrassing Mark. However, based on what we know about Myra from IOL, we know that it’s unlikely that she didn’t know about her dwarven heritage since she lived amongst the dwarves after her training and, therefore, she would have known about Mark and the Diamond Clan. According to my theory, she is also involved in dwarven politics, as well.

I believe, like Elliot and Piper, Myra knows that Mark is a prince, but in order to protect him, she had to act like she didn’t. She feels guilty about having to be cruel to be kind. Another way to understand Myra’s words is to remember that she is now in a precarious position… politically. If Myra and the humans recognize Mark and it gets back to Mark’s uncle, not only would there be upheaval such as I described earlier, but the act of harbouring a royal fugitive could become the justification for a war between the humans and dwarves. Mark’s uncle is also Myra’s uncle and Myra and her dwarven parent may be seen as either a potential ally to the usurper king (as a diplomat who can get the human government to recognize his regime as legitimate) or as yet another enemy he needs to eliminate. I read Myra’s words as her explaining why she never had the chance to become close to her late relatives growing up. She may also be talk about whether her dwarven parent is in danger, or concerned about what happened to their relatives, or even whether her dwarven parent could have provided any information about what was happening with the royal family that led to the coup. At no point does Myra say that she didn’t know who Mark was nor does she reproach Elliot for not telling her about Mark’s identity. Most of their conversation is about romantic drama anyway.

As for what Elliot says, recall that Mark doesn’t note any emotion in his voice the way he does when Elliot speaks in the rest of the conversation. I think Elliot is wryly going through his cover story for Myra to demonstrate that he’s made his decision and he’s prepared to live with it. That’s why these lines so clipped, matter-of-fact and detail-free and it’s also why he ends them with a joke. He’s not confessing his sins, he’s going over the role he’s chosen to play, which is interesting because he and Myra were part of a play back at school, so this can be a tongue-in-cheek callback.

Elliot then refers to himself as a traitor a second time after Myra asks about Luke’s letters and this time, Mark notes the emotions in Elliot’s voice. The reason is that when Elliot called himself a traitor before, he was being glib because he (and Myra) knew it was just a cover story. This time, Elliot isn’t confessing to treason against the Borderlands, he’s confessing to betrayal against Luke (and presumably, Serene). He chose his political ideals over the two people he loved most, so naturally, he feels sincere regret about that.

The Deepfort Revolt

“…. Mr. Schafer frequently became distracted from lessons to stick his nose in things that were none of his business: grain, armaments.”

I am going to go over what I believe was Elliot and Myra’s plan in full (the kids are not involved):

Myra, through her contacts in the underground dwarven kingdom, convinced the king to join her, Woodsinger and Elliot in their plans to end dwarf-human trafficking. The King sends his most trusted troop to infiltrate Deepfort where it is suspected that dwarves have been kidnapped and sold for years now. When the troop eventually arrives at the gold mine, they get in contact with Myra and Elliot and confirm that not all the dwarves are condemned prisoners (penal servitude is unethical, but it’s not necessarily illegal, unfortunately) and many are actually kidnapped and enslaved dwarves (both unethical AND very illegal).

Meanwhile, Elliot connects the traffickers (the ones who operate the carts) with Deepfort. I suspect they are since they already promised most of the troop to Deepfort, which suggests they have an ongoing business relationship. I believe the cart soldiers are actually part of Deepfort, but their duties are probably listed as “delivering provisions” (hence the cart) or something innocuous on the records. Elliot’s spies tell him that the Deepfort has a lot of weapons despite the fact that the Borderlands is in peace time and a lot of weapons are in the hands of the cart soldiers. Elliot realizes that Westering, a “poorly provisioned” fortress, has been selling weapons (and grain) to Deepfort.

Elliot dispatches Private Cyril to Deepfort to tell them that their “redheaded trouble” (Cyril started the rumour in my theory and it’s why the cart soldiers had heard about Elliot) is keeping an eye on the books so they won’t be able to continue their arrangement for the foreseeable future. They can still sell them grain (helps maintain the illusion that the deal is still in place to the men of Westering, and allows Elliot’s spies to deliver a cart full of weapons to Deepfort). Meanwhile, Arch has no idea this happened and continues to send weapons and grain to Deepfort. Elliot cooks the books so Arch and the others don’t notice they aren’t getting money for the misappropriated weapons. The weapons that are sent to Deepfort (in the grain cart) are diverted to the dwarven prisoners in preparation for the day of the revolt. Recall what I said about Elliot probably having contacts in multiple fortresses? I have no doubt that he has one in Deepfort who is the liaison between the dwarves, Elliot and Myra. Remember how Mark thought the dwarves in the gold mines had fashioned weapons in secret from their captors? Remember how I said that wouldn’t make a lot of sense? Since the dwarves would be searched, there would be no weapons forge in a gold mine, and we don’t know whether the gold mine would yield a sufficient amount of other kinds of ore to create weapons. What would make more sense is if the dwarves received the diverted human weapons from Westering and re-fashioned those into crude versions of dwarven weapons using the tools they have on hand.

I’ll pause here to explain why all this cloak and dagger is necessary and why Woodsinger couldn’t just have the Border camp raid Deepfort and free the prisoners. The methods by which Elliot and Myra are obtaining this evidence is illegal and also involves a lot of espionage. In order to properly and justly convict the men of Deepfort and put an end to the trafficking, Elliot has to create a situation in which the Border camp has “just cause” to raid Deepfort and “stumble” onto the proof that the dwarves in the gold mines are not convicted criminals, but kidnapped slaves. If the dwarves in the mines just happen to revolt against Deepfort while the Border camp forces just happen to be nearby to provide aid (to Deepfort, on the official record) and they just happen to stumble on Deepfort’s dirty secret in the process, well, that would be a great bit of luck, wouldn’t it? I also think Elliot and Myra would want to give the dwarves an opportunity to practice some self-determination (through a revolt) rather than create a human saviour story.

As for why Elliot the pacifist would arm the prisoners, let’s recall that against a force of armed soldiers who do not recognize the personhood of their prisoners, the only viable way for the prisoners to have any chance at all of resisting their captors is if they are armed and able to put up a fight.

-Elliot wrote to Woodsinger to have the Border camp forces camped near Deepfort (not too close to raise suspicion; and with another mission as a cover to create plausible deniability).

-If Mark, Piper and Illyria hadn’t gotten involved, the plan would have gone like this: the dwarves would get some sort of signal to start the revolt (when the Border camp forces were already on the move), by the time the Deepfort men got their act together, the Border camp would arrive and force a surrender by Deepfort (Elliot would want to minimize the loss of life and violence). Meanwhile, at Westering, they would receive word that there was trouble at Deepfort and that the Border camp was getting involved. Since the men at Westering wouldn’t necessarily know about the trafficking stuff, they would assume that the Border camp was just helping Deepfort. However, what if the Border camp forces find out about the illegal weapons and grain? Maybe they should send a force over to Deepfort with the stated purpose of offering aid, but whose real purpose is to hide evidence. Elliot makes a note of which Westering men go to Deepfort so he knows who to bring in for questioning (since Arch would only bring those who know about the evidence to come with him to hide said evidence). Elliot knows that Arch is the ringleader, but it would be a good way for his accomplices to reveal themselves too.

-By the time the Westering forces arrive, the men of Deepfort are already under arrest, the dwarven prisoners are free, and also, they have some questions for the Westering men who’ve just arrived.

Things don’t always go the way you planned though. When Woodsinger hears the report of what happened from Elliot, I hope she reminds Elliot that karma is a bitch.

I want to be clear, I don’t blame Mark, Piper and Illyria for getting involved and messing up the timing. I said that I believe Piper knew (vaguely) about the date of the revolt, or rather, that Myra coming to Westering was the signal that the revolt was going to happen the next day. I do not think she knew about what role the Westering fortress was going to play. I think Piper knew that Westering fortress was engaged in financial grift, but I don’t think she knew that they were going to get involved in the revolt. Piper genuinely cared about Illyria and Mark, and like the mini-Elliot that she is, she schemed to get them involved in the revolt because she knew that it would provide them an opportunity to be heroes (they are her Serene and Luke) and redeem their reputations. Piper also wanted to join the fun because of her own politics and, she wanted the opportunity to set off a bunch of explosives in a fortress. I think she does not tell Illyria and Mark about Elliot’s plan because she, still a kid at heart, believes that she and her friends will have the situation settled nicely by the time the Border camp appears so they they can be the heroes. She, Illyria and Mark still have a lot to learn.

When she shouted about the map to Elliot, she was letting him know that she, Illyria and Mark would be at Deepfort within a day. It’s funny because she’s an explosives expert and she gave Elliot a countdown to get his ducks in a row before the blows the doors off his plans. She’s putting Elliot through the same crap he put Woodsinger through back in IOL. Elliot only has himself to blame for the fact that Piper subscribes to the Ask-For-Forgiveness-Instead-Of-Permission-school of dealing with authority figures.

Here is how the plan actually went down:

Upon realizing that the kids were going to get involved, Elliot and Myra have to scramble. Elliot couldn’t just prevent them from leaving because: he wouldn’t physically fight them to keep them there, he couldn’t get the Westering men to hold them in custody (they aren’t on the same side, and they would be put on their guard), if he did snitch on the kids, their already tattered reputations would suffer even more, the plans are already in place and they can’t delay them because of this disruption, and finally, he cares about Mark, Piper and Illyria and he understands they need to do this because it really would help them redeem their reputations. All he can do is what Woodsinger used to do for him: be really pissed off and do what he can to protect and support the kids.

Myra immediately leaves Westering and heads to the Border camp to let them know that the timing has moved up. Elliot tries to cover for the kids going missing, but it’s impossible. Unfortunately, Mark the “pretend prince”, beautiful, dangerous Illyria, and Piper the pyromaniac, are too inconspicuous for their absence to go unnoticed for long. Knowing that Mark is probably headed towards Deepfort to rescue the other dwarves and knowing that Myra has left for the Border camp (who are suspiciously close by), Arch and the other Westering men come to the conclusion that Elliot hoped they would (get to Deepfort; hide evidence of wrongdoing). The problem is that this happens way too fast and a force of soldiers are sent to Deepfort in pursuit of the missing kids. Remember when I said it was odd that Westering sent so many men after three missing kids? This is why they did so.

When Mark shouts “Light in the dark!” into the mine. The dwarves assume that this is the signal for which they were waiting. The sergeant, suspecting something is off, “shows no relief at the sight of Mark” and he says:

“My prince. I knew you would come. But I hoped you wouldn’t.”

This is an important character moment for Mark. He realizes his perception of the situation is catastrophically off, and that, once again, just like in the cart so long ago, he is forcing his people to go along with his dramatic, but ineffective attempts to rescue them.

Mark basically confirms that he is not part of the planned revolt when he admits: “I-I didn’t know there would be so many. I fear- we cannot all escape.”

The sergeant offers to give Mark a chance to retreat, but Mark, Illyria and Piper reject this. Mark (a noble himbo), decides that he’s going to fight with his people and die for them if need be, Ilyria (a marvellous them-bo) is confident in her martial prowess and Piper (keeper of the braincell), knows that reinforcements are on the way.

At first things are going okay, but then the Westering men arrive before the Border camp forces do. Elliot stops Arch from killing Mark. Mark assumes that Elliot is surprised that he got hit. We’ve seen in IOL that Elliot is very used to getting hit. At one point in the story, he basically goads some bullies into hitting him. I think the source of Elliot’s surprise is the realization that the Border camp forces are still not here, his students’ lives are in danger and his scheme is on the brink of falling apart in the worst way possible.

Elliot has to think fast to save his student. He knows that Arch is capable of reckless violence, so he knows there’s a chance that his words will result in his death, but he has to buy time for Mark to escape and for the Border camp forces to arrive. He plays the card he’d hoped he didn’t have to play.

“Stand back, Captain. I’ve gathered evidence of you skimming off the top, selling off weapons, and grain supplements. I will talk.”

Incidentally, Elliot isn’t just threatening Arch, he’s bluffing. I’ll explain how in a bit. It’s also important that Mark heard Elliot say this.

Luckily, the bid for time works and Luke-ex-machina (king of the himbos), arrives with the Border camp forces (finally!) and things come to an end.

Interestingly, Elliot says this to Luke:

“Don’t kill him,” commanded Mr. Schafer. “He’s only committed petty crimes…. He and most of his men need to be fined,…”

As I’ve said, arms trafficking isn’t really a petty crime and if he and his men were skimming off the top for months (or years), then it’s possible the theft here could rise to the level of larceny. Both crimes carry potential prison sentences. Depending on how you spin it, if the weapons were used by traffickers, then there are other crimes they can be charged with. Not to mention, is it really worth riding out and almost murdering a child and a well-connected individual (they’ve heard the rumours that Woodsinger reduced his sentence)?

Also, recall when I said that things at Westering should be awkward, and potentially dangerous for Elliot and Mark because Arch and most of his men were charged with petty crimes and made to pay a fine because of them.

But things won’t be awkward, because Elliot (and Mark) have leverage over Arch and his men. They can reveal that Arch and his men are guilty of far more serious crimes than they’ve been charged with, so the men of Westering better play nice.

This is going to be a bit complicated, so bear with me. Elliot diverted the stolen weapons and maintained the illusion that Arch and his men’s arms trafficking scheme was ongoing. To arrest them for this is flirting with entrapment, which I don’t think Elliot would do and anyway, Elliot essentially neutralized whatever material harm was created by Arch and his men’s crimes when he diverted the weapons. Also, Elliot is the one who downgraded Arch and his men’s crimes and it can be argued that makes him guilty of obstruction. This is fine, because Arch and his men are dumb, and even if they were smart, they would know that they can’t take Elliot down without taking themselves down (and their downfall would be worse). Elliot can now blackmail them into doing good for the community despite themselves. It’s better than forcing them to languish in jail cells (dungeons?) doing no good to anyone. Maybe after being forced to do good, some might rehabilitate and choose to do good. Also, we know that Westering is poorly provisioned. Maybe Elliot doesn’t want to unduly punish the soldiers for their economic crime because he knows the incentive for grift only exists because of the unfair distribution of resources amongst the fortresses.

Is this underhanded and manipulative? Yes. But that’s what make IOL and TWTBD so interesting. All the characters are jerks, but it’s their motivations that separate the good jerks from the bad jerks. Elliot manipulates, lies and schemes in order to force people to help marginalized communities, be more respectful and inclusive and to save lives. Luke’s methods are more straightforward, but straightforward violence is still violence. He threatens violence against Arch to protect Elliot, who he loves. Arch uses violence and schemes to steal because he’s greedy and dumb.

Mr. Schafer: Mark’s Merlin

I can imagine someone asking, if Elliot and Myra were going to rescue the dwarves anyway, then what was the point of Mark’s actions? What is the point of Mark’s story?

IOL and TWTBD is not a typical mainstream fantasy where the hero solves problems with grand gestures and sword fighting.

Who was the main antagonist of IOL? It was trauma, and war and societal oppression. The battles and schemes are set dressings. Pivotal plot moments were when Elliot, Luke, and Serene made sincere connections with one another and others, overcame their prejudices, unlearned the things trauma and oppression taught them.

At first, Mark’s story is set up to be a mainstream story. But if it really was, the story would end with him leading his freed warriors into battle to take back his kingdom from his uncle.

Remember what I said about how Mark started the story as a sheltered prince, living under a rock? The title ‘Tears Waiting to Become Diamonds” is interesting when we consider the phrase: “Clear as a diamond”. Mark’s worldview is narrow and rigid at the beginning of the story. The light blinds him, the vastness of the world scares him and he operates from a sheltered, fairytale worldview. He doesn’t object to trafficking on principle, he objects to it because it impacts him personally, and he can’t comprehend the bigger politics and machinations going on around him. The “tears” in TWTBD obscure his sight. They blind him and force his perception into a limited fish-eye lens. Everything is either about him or it is incomprehensible and dismissible. In fairness to the kid, his whole family is dead, so I don’t want to unduly blame him for retreating into familiar patterns at the beginning of the story.

At the beginning of the story, Elliot is very Merlin-like (in the popular imagination of Merlin). He’s a scholarly, enigmatic figure from outside time. Of course, unlike with Arthur, I feel like instead of convincing Mark that he’s the one true king, Elliot would try to incept Mark with the idea of getting rid of the monarchy and having an elected, representative government or something.

It’s interesting that Mark says that Elliot is a bad teacher compared to Applegold. I’m sure Applegold is a fine teacher, but it’s Elliot’s words and lessons that Ilyria, Piper and Mark absorbed throughout the story. It’s cute how they echo his words like a bunch of undergrads after their first philosophy 101 lecture.

“You said freedom of expression is vital for the young mind!”

“Mr. Schafer’s ethics classes say the Border camp has strict regulations regarding prisoners,…”

“Someone should liberate prisoners put to work. It’s wrong to capture people for your own benefit,…”

The climax of Mark’s character development and his story is when he realizes he misunderstood how widespread and long-standing the dwarf-human trafficking actually was,, when Ilyria shared her story with him and when he was willing to intercede Arch’s attack to save Elliot, a human.

I also want to highlight an important moment when Elliot introduces Mark as “Prince Marcus” to Luke. Until this moment, Elliot was careful to hide Mark’s identity for his safety. I think Elliot told Luke who Mark was for two reasons. Firstly, associating Mark with Luke is a form of protection (that Sunborn name is really something), secondly, and more significantly, I think this was Elliot giving Mark a chance to decide what his future will be for himself. Elliot acknowledges that Mark has grown and learned a lot and now it’s up to him to determine what the next steps are. Mark could publicly proclaim himself a prince, ally himself with the Sunborn Champion and seek vengeance on his uncle. Instead, Mark proves that he really is Elliot’s student.

“Go back to my mines…. Claim you escaped from the humans. Go about your lives, but when you find loyal souls in our caverns, tell them your prince is coming.”

Well, well, well, look who’s showing an interest in popular underground movements and scheming. Mark now understands that as a prince, his actions have widespread repercussions. He also knows that his people deserve to live their lives and he won’t ask them to place themselves or their loved ones in unnecessary peril. Mark went from living under a rock to watching his people go back to their lives from the high vantage of a tower, under a vast sky. His perspective is wider, vaster and more inclusive of the rest of the Borderlands. Mark’s conception of home is also broader than before. Where once his idea of home was his home underground in his insulated kingdom, now it includes the surface, where his friends and allies and enemies are, Westering, the Otherlands. His view is unobscured and multi-faceted. It’s clear as diamond.

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brostateexam · 1 year

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Comedy writers have been telling the “Who Jackie” story in their offices, at table reads, and in Sweetgreens for nearly 30 years. It started circulating in 1995 among employees at the Radford lot in Studio City, but it eventually made its way onto other lots and other writers’ rooms, until winking references began popping up on sitcoms like My Name Is Earl and30 Rock.

“I can’t remember not knowing that story,” says Modern Family creator Steve Levitan, who invoked “Who Jackie” in his 2022 Hulu series Reboot.

“That story has been told, or at least referenced, in every writers’ room I’ve been in,” says former Corporate showrunner Jake Fogelnest, who once made “Who Jackie” T-shirts for his friends.

“It’s a story that’s both mythological and just within reach,” says former 30 Rock writer Vali Chandrasekaran. “Because it feels like it’s existed forever, but also, everyone sort of knows someone who was there.”

Like all the best stories, no two people tell it exactly alike. Certainly not the 12 former Roseanne writers and 20 other comedians and TV creators who were interviewed for this journey through sitcom lore to determine what happened on that day in 1995. Sometimes “Who Jackie” is a long, winding tale full of flourishes; sometimes it spans a few spartan sentences; sometimes it’s the Ghost Variation. Specifics vary around details like the writer’s name, his relationship to Barr, and how long he’d been staffed at the show without being aware of the Jackie character. But the story always has the same punch line — blaccent optional. It’s like “The Aristocrats” meets Rashomon: Each retelling reveals nearly as much about the person tweaking it as it does about the story itself. Even when it’s coming from the mythical David himself.

#long reads #*racism

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kelpiemomma · 11 months

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Pokemon Master List

A masterlist of my pokemon AUs, fics, art, and more.

→Dawn and Akari are NEVER the same person in my works. Akari has frequently been isekai’d.

►I heavily promote Dad Ingo and his daughter Akari :)

ALTERNATE UNIVERSES:

Zoroakari - Akari is killed by Volo and becomes a Zoroark

pokemon harvest moon / phm - Akari moves to sleepy, dying Jubilife Village and is given a farm to take over and improve.

wild west train gang au - pokemon black/white meets pokemon legends arceus meets the wild west. Ingo and Emmet are train conductors and ranch hands by day, and train robbers by night. They end up taking in a young girl who tried to rob their train.

ac submas / assassin’s creed submas / plac - Ingo and Emmet are assassins in modern day Unova when a Templar attack separates them. Ingo is kidnapped and brainwashed into believing he’s a Templar, eventually escaping - still sans memories - with a living Piece of Eden.

Arceus Fragment AU - The Legends Arceus protag is actually a piece of Arceus that the god broke off and sent down to experience humanity before returning to allow Arceus to recover their memories.

halo submas/spartan ingo/sangheili akari - Ingo and Emmet were recruited to be Spartan-IIIs, Akari is a Sangheili, and somehow they still find family.

gear station family au - a modern PLA au where Ingo never got yeeted to the past, Rei and Akari are twins working at Gear Station, and chaos ensues.

symbiote au - Ingo and Akari are Klyntar/symbiotes. A sort of Venom fusion, but not. Ingo’s host is Emmet, and they refer to each other as brothers. Akari takes over a comatose Dawn’s body in Hisui.

FICS: ►All tags for my series and fics will include snippets, drabbles, questions and answers, and miscellaneous things that inspire me.

fire at will series

jumping the rails fic

misery business fic / arms outstretched fic

piap series - (peas in a pod series)

#pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #pla

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the-good-spartan · 1 year

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Spartan Social Structure: Part Three – Spartan Women

It may seem strange to remove Spartan women into a social grouping of their own – they were, after all, of Spartan blood too; however, their existence was so entirely separate to the homoioi, that there’s really no other way to approach them.

They might usefully be viewed as second class citizens – though I must emphasise I use this term in no way to suggest a value judgement upon them, or that this should be taken to mean that they weren’t respected by the men around them; I speak only in the sense of a patriarchal, hierarchical structure which absolutely placed the homoioi above every other Lakedaimonian.

Modern scholarship around this particular topic is vexed by interpretations reached via a modern feminist lens, with the result that we very often find an entirely skewed view of Spartan women as liberated (in the modern sense), free to do as they pleased, going so far as to support the notion that Sparta was, ultimately, a secret gynocracy.

For example, and summing up this view, Christensen quotes Simone de Beauvoir, who wrote that, in Sparta women:

"… underwent the burdens of maternity as men did war: but except for this civic duty, no restraints were put on their freedom."

I have tried here to give a more balanced view of historical probabilities by focusing on the primary sources rather than modern perspectives; consequently, I’ve used a lot more direct quotes than usual.

The Privileged Women of Sparta

When academics speak of the privileges accorded Spartan women, they are usually referring to comparisons with Athenian women, and by that yardstick, Spartan women did enjoy certain privileges; most notably, the ability to own property and to participate in physical exercise. Cartledge even suggests that they were granted an education in parallel to the agoge, though this is pure speculation, and Ducat resoundingly states his opinion that it’s nonsense.

We can be fairly certain, though, that girls did receive some form of education, even if it wasn’t in line with the agoge. They were raised at home with their mothers, but perhaps had a system of mentorship on the same pattern as the agoge, if Plutarch is to be believed:

‘Sexual [pederastic] relationships… were so highly regarded that respectable women would in fact have love affairs with unmarried girls.’ [Lyk 18]

They played some sports as you will see below – though which sports, whether with the boys, whether naked or in short tunics, are all controversial, realistically unanswerable questions – and they participated in sacred dancing and footraces on behalf of various gods.

Perhaps we might view their girlhood as being blessed with some form of freedom which their Athenian counterparts didn’t enjoy; but this probably ceased at marriage, which occurred between 18 and 20.

But before we get into that…

What did the Ancients say to Make us Think Liberation was Even a Possibility?

More than usual, it’s super important to remember that our sources were written by cultural outsiders, who acted from a variety of motivations:

1. To reinforce the social norms of their own city-states, particularly around the need for monogamy and social control of ‘their’ women by means of using ‘Spartan women as a cautionary tale’;

2. For comic or dramatic effect;

3. In defence of Lykourgos’ Laws.

The possible exception to all these men being outsiders is Xenophon, who (we believe) sent his two sons through the agoge during the 4th Century BCE, and perhaps had some first-hand experience of the Spartans at home – but that is by no means certain.

Plutarch, for example, in his Sayings of Spartan Women, reports the young royal girl, Gorgo (future wife of the famous King Leonidas), speaking up when invited to do so by her father, King Kleomenes:

‘When the Milesian Aristagoras was urging Kleomenes to make war against the Great King in support of the Ionians and was promising him quantities of money, and also adding more to meet his objections, the king’s daughter Gorgo said, ‘Father, this miserable little foreigner will ruin you completely unless you drive him out of the house pretty quickly.’ [Sayings of Spartan Women, Gor. 1]’

Kleomenes took her advice, and this story is often held up as an example of feminine empowerment; however, what Plutarch doesn’t include from the original story in Herodotus, is that the historian had already told the reader that Kleomenes ‘was not quite right in the head, to the extent that he was almost a lunatic’ [His. 5.42].

Aristotle, in his Politics, claimed that Spartan women enjoyed such total freedom that they defeated even Lykourgos, the Lawgiver himself, in his attempt to curb them:

‘…it is said that Lycurgus did attempt to bring them under the laws, but since they resisted, he gave it up.’

He claims that, unburdened by constraint, they lived totally at their ease:

‘…And this has taken place in [Sparta], for the lawgiver wishing the whole city to be of strong character displays his intention clearly in relation to the men, but in the case of the women has entirely neglected the matter; for they live dissolutely in respect of every sort of dissoluteness, and luxuriously.’

It is on his say-so that anyone believes that Sparta may have been a gynocracy:

‘…in the time of their empire, many things were controlled by the women; yet what difference does it make whether the women rule, or the rulers are ruled by the women? The result is the same.’

[Selections taken from Politics, 1269b-70a].

From quite a different source, and a contemporary, Classical one, Euripides in his play Andromache, has Peleus complain about the sexual license of Spartan women:

They leave their houses in the company of young men, with bare thighs and loosened tunics, and in a fashion I cannot stand, they share the same running-tracks [dromoi] and wrestling places [palaistrai] with them. After that, is it any wonder that you do not bring up women to be chaste?

[Andr. 597–601, trans. D. Kovacs.]

Aristophanes, in his comedy Lysistrata, gives the Spartan woman Lampito a forward, vigorous character, in line with this idea of their immodesty:

LYSISTRATA Welcome Lampito!/Dear Spartan girl with a delightful face,/Washed with the rosy spring, how fresh you look/In the easy stride of your sleek slenderness,/Why you could strangle a bull!

LAMPITO I think I could./It's from exercise and kicking high behind.

LYSISTRATA What lovely breasts you have!

LAMPITO Feel them for yourself with your tender fingers... /I feel as though I’m an altar-victim.

[I’ve taken the liberty of translating the Scotch dialect the original translator irritatingly gave Lampito.]

Xenophon in On Spartan Society, supports these claims only so far as to say that:

‘In Lycurgus' view, by contrast, clothes could be produced quite adequately by slave women, whereas in his opinion the production of children was the most important duty of free women.

So in the first place he required the female sex to take physical exercise just as much as males; next he arranged for women also, just like men, to have contests of speed and strength with one another, in the belief that when both parents are strong, their children are born sturdier.’

Being freed from sedentary activities and participating in sporting or group activities can give girls a feeling of control over their lives, provided they enjoy it; however, this is to overlook the fact that there were almost certainly those who didn’t enjoy sport and would’ve preferred to weave. They had no choice whether they participated or not.

Plutarch gives us the fullest picture, though I place his information last because, as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, he was writing more than 500 years after the Classical period, and through a Roman-era lens and we don’t know how reliable his sources were. He should always be taken with caution.

‘First, [Lykourgos] toughened the girls physically by making them run and wrestle and throw the discus and javelin. Thereby their children in utero would make a strong start in strong bodies and would develop better, while the women themselves would also bear their pregnancies with vigour and meet the challenge of childbirth in a successful, relaxed way.

He did away with prudery, sheltered upbringing and effeminacy of any kind. He made young girls no less than young men grow used to walking nude in processions, as well as to dancing and singing at certain festivals with the young men present and looking on.

On some occasions the girls would make fun of each of the young men, helpfully criticizing their mistakes. On other occasions they would rehearse in song the praises which they’d composed about those meriting them, so that they filled the youngsters with a great sense of ambition and rivalry. For the one who was praised for his manliness and became a celebrated figure to the girls went off priding himself on their compliments; whereas the jibes of their playful humour were no less cutting than warnings of a serious type, especially as the kings and the gerontes attended the spectacle along with the rest of the citizens.

There was nothing disreputable about the girls' nudity. It was altogether modest, and there was no hint of immorality. Instead, it encouraged simple habits and an enthusiasm for physical fitness, as well as giving the female sex a taste of masculine gallantry, since it too was granted equal participation in both excellence and ambition. As a result, the women came to talk as well as to think in the way that Leonidas' wife Gorgo is said to have done. For when some woman, evidently a foreigner, said to her: 'You Lakedaimonian women are the only ones who can rule men,' she replied, "That's because we are the only ones who give birth to men.'

[From Lyk 14]

But Were They Really Liberated?

Liberation necessarily requires the ability to choose one’s own path through life – whether to work or make a home, the ability to take part in the political system, whether to marry or not and who, and most importantly, to have full bodily autonomy. I’ll try to address each of these points below.

Women’s Work

There’s no evidence that Spartan women did any kind of manual labour – the helots are attested doing everything from nursing babies to weaving and everything in between. The only task, beyond the requirement to produce children, which Spartan women are attested doing, is whatever we might understand ‘managing a household’ involved.

I can’t imagine there was a great deal to do, beyond managing the helots themselves and perhaps taking care of any religious obligations, and it’s worth mentioning here that it’s highly likely that households were multi-generational. A newly married couple probably lived with the husband’s parents (certainly that’s where the marriage took place) and, if he had any, his brothers’ families – so we might imagine that this task was shared between many women.

Political Exclusion

Spartan women were precluded from taking part in the political system, as everyone who wasn’t homoioi was, unless we choose to give some credence to Aristotle’s suggestion that they had undue influence over their men.

However, Aristotle’s basis for this belief is problematic. He says:

‘It is true, therefore, that at the outset the freedom allowed to women at Sparta seems to have come about with good reason, for the Spartans used to be away in exile abroad for long periods on account of their military expeditions, both when fighting the war against the Argives and again during the war against the Arcadians and Messenians …’

[Pol 1269 again]

[Dates of these engagements in order: Argives: ~546BCE; Arkadians: primarily against the Tegeans, which included the infamous Battle of the Fetters ~550 BCE; Messenians: presumably he means the Third Messenian War, ~464 BCE, though he may be referring to the much earlier Second, which was in the 7th century BCE.]

This idea is spurious – let me explain as briefly as I can.

Spartiates, according to the Laws, were required to live in Sparta at all times when they weren’t on active service elsewhere. The gerousia, the board of 28 elders (who weren’t the kings) were all beyond the age of military service so they would always be in Sparta. The gerousia was instituted very early on and was almost certainly in place during the 6th century.

Only one king was permitted to march with the army at any given time, so there was, in theory always one king in Sparta (except during the times there was only one king at all, of course). This was current from the end of the 6th C BCE (~506 BCE.)

Men who had more than three male children were exempt from military service and would’ve remained in the city at all times, too – though this is often argued to have come into currency only after the Great Earthquake of ~464 BCE.

Those who marched out with the army would only have been a portion of the military-aged men. The army was selected by bouai (age groups), and only some of those groups were called into service for any given campaign. It was never the case that all the men of military age were sent from Sparta at once.

Though Aristotle is talking about the 6th century BCE, common sense tells us that some of these elements must still apply. There’s no version of reality in which all the men old enough to do so march out to war, leaving a city with only the women to take care of things. It simply never happened.

What’s more, there’s an issue with this claim of them being absent for an extended period of time – and it crops up in a lot of talking points, not just around women. During the Peloponnesian War, Thucydides tells us the longest duration of the army’s absence from Sparta was 40 days, and this occurred in two campaigns.

There’s a good reason why campaigns couldn’t be much longer than this, and that’s the difficulty in the provisioning of food. Twenty days appears to be the outer limit of what could be brought from Sparta. If this was an issue in the 5th century, there’s no reason to suppose it was easier a hundred years earlier or more.

Anyway – This is the long way of saying that Aristotle is wrong. Women were extremely unlikely to have been left to their own devices for long lengths of time.

Marriage and Children

Women were betrothed in exchange for a dowry, and her husband was chosen by her father or male guardian.

To quote Aristotle again:

‘… He [ie. a woman’s (explicitly) male guardian] is allowed to give an heiress in marriage to whomever he likes; and if he dies without having made directions as to this by will, whoever he leaves as his executor bestows her upon whom he chooses.’

[Aristotle again, from the Politics.]

Even once a woman was married, she wasn’t protected from being given to other men without her consent – and the emphasis is always very obviously on the production of children.

‘[Lykourgos] observed, however, that where an old man happened to have a young wife, he tended to keep a very jealous watch on her. So, he planned to prevent this too, by arranging that for the production of children the elderly husband should introduce to his wife to any man whose physique and personality he admired.

Further, should a man not wish to be married, but still be eager to have remarkable children, Lycurgus also made it lawful for him to have children by any fertile and well-bred woman who came to his attention, subject to her husband's consent. And he would approve many such arrangements. For the women want to have two households, while the men want to acquire for their sons' brothers who would form part of the family and its influence, but would have no claim on the estate. For the production of children, then, he made these arrangements so different from those of others.’

[Xenophon OSS]

Referring back to my initial definition of liberation, I think this makes quite clear that women didn’t choose ‘whether to marry or not and who,’ and it’s equally clear they didn’t have anything approaching full bodily autonomy.

Freedom?

In summary, I don’t believe that Spartan women were liberated in any sense that we would recognise as such today. Their privileges, assuming they weren’t all invented by Athenians, were small, and soon gone.

If we wanted to follow the path to a utopian ideal for them, we would have to take these sources at more-or-less face value, while ignoring a couple of really important points.

The ‘liberated and empowered Spartan woman’ as she appears in the ancient sources is a construct of (mainly) Athenian men with a vested interest in reinforcing their own marital norms, social behaviour and patriarchal authority - directly in contrast to Sparta.

The Spartan women in these texts are deliberately designed to be Other – to be despised and derided, as the Other always is.*

Also, to come out of this exercise with anything like a liberated Spartan woman before us, we must engage in serious cherry-picking, ignoring those sources, particularly around eugenics, plural marriages and ‘wife-loaning’, which make it absolutely clear that women were in no way in control of their lives or their bodily autonomy within marriage.

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[*For those who aren’t familiar with the terminology related to post-colonialism, Othering is a key tenet of the theory of Orientalism. I studied post-colonialism pretty extensively as part of my English degree – it is very applicable here in Australia, but the theory is useful in studying history at least as much as literature.

Orientalism, amongst other things, posits that the centre of power (sometimes referred to as Mother, or the Centre - in this instance Athens), knowingly, deliberately creates a distance between itself and the periphery (the Other or the Periphery, in this case, Sparta) by developing an image of them as lesser, not-like-us, and essentially bad and wrong. There is very often no necessity for this to be true – it must have just enough truth in it to be believed by the audience.

In modern times in the west, we can see this play out in rhetoric around Muslims, the Middle-East, and closer to home for me, the Aboriginal peoples here in Australia.

You can find more about this theory in the work of Edward Said, particularly his book of the same name, Orientalism. It’s not an easy read (theory never is), but definitely worthwhile as an approach to understanding how the centre of power denigrates those on the periphery.]

#I'm posting this before the planned section on the hypomeiones #because I have to stop tinkering with it #I have spent far too much time on this #ancient women #sparta #spartan women #ancient sparta #ancient history #ancient greece #lakedaimon #orientalism

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