#this isnt really meant to be like

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 251

so like remember when i said i was gonna be mentally ill about utena

#day 251 #year 4 #aradia megido #jade harley #homestuck #arajade #revolutionary girl utena #so this is a wip but i dont have the time or energy to finish it today unfortunately #i do plan to finish it at a later date tho #this isnt really meant to be like #a fully realized au or anything #utena doesnt seem like the kind of thing that lends itself super well to this kind of au? #like the kind where you slot other characters into the roles or the setting of the og series #the characters that exist in it are too integral to the like. Point of the thing. to me at least #BUT there are some themes that cross over really well #into the things i find the most most most interesting about aradia and jade and the differences between them #and how they cope with an environment that attacks their agency and like. responsibility. and resisting the established narrative. and. and #and okay TBH? yeah i drew jade in the rose bride fit. but frankly i could say some shit about EITHER of them in either role. #the themes are absolutely there like theres a connection im making in my brain here i swear im just struggling to articulate it #maybe once i finish the drawing i will have finished my rgu arajade thoughts as well.

[adriles]

when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess

#book 22 #im verh drunk #hi #greatest hits #not really sure why this one resonated. are u all ok #is everyone just at the shiva #yall need to stop saying you arent gonna eat then in the tags #i love that a lot of you are getting beautiful things out of this #but some of yall need to know i wrote this while incredibly drunk #this isnt meant to be all that deep this is just shitty iliad posting #more comments like this is just judaism. surprise surprise im jewish #but again this isnt about sitting shiva #this is me drunk talking about the last 3 books of the iliad #idk what to tell u man

[isjasz]

Part 1- The Orphanage

IT BEGINS WOOOOOOOO this was meant to inform ppl of the lore in tpn for the sake of the au then it got out of hand helpme

Designs | Part 1 | Part 2 (End)

#The Promised Hermitopia #dddaily4sherin #day 208 cherrysherin i hate ur guts /HJ #my art #comic #goodtimeswithscar #cubfan135 #grian #featuring #xisumavoid #tangotek #impulsesv #skizzleman #jimmy solidarity #bigb is also in here #trafficblr #hermitblr #ignore that fact that the shading/coloring got progressively better the further u read idfk what happened HSJKADda #Also sorry that this honestly isnt really that interesting if you know the series already #like i mentioned its meant to set up the premise of TPN for our au so ppl who dont at least know whats going on #but then the comic got super out of hand ASJKDASKDJ #i guess ill just think of this as comic practice ig HELPMEEE #Hoping u guys still enjoyed though!! :D #posting this is actually so scary im dipping immediately after pressing post BYE

[puppyeared]

wanna see a magic trick? 🪄🎩

#YEAYYYY i like drawing this guy #now that i think abt it i cant remember the last time i saw a furry with tattoos.... ive decided not to think too hard about how it would #work but i think i like the idea of him getting playing card tats on his ears would be cool ^_^ #apparently anthro species on furth include birds and mammals and i think fish amphibians and reptiles are non anthro #so instead of whipping out doves he would make white butterflies appear out of his hat :o) #its sort of meant to tie in with the ruffles on his shirt resembling a butterfly!!! i thought id make it close to a swallowtail so #that way its easy to see at a glance. i think that would look really cool irl #he looks a lot like joker p5 now that i look at it... it wasnt intentional but the red eyes and black messy hair is obvious huh #oh but the way his hair curls in the front isnt strictly in one direction just so that its easy to draw lol. its meant to curl around his #hat brim a little bc i thought it would look cool #my art #myart #my oc #oc #sleight #laika's comet #laika's comet oc #fan character #furry #furry art #fur

[officialspec]

ill be honest as much as i love to criticise the use of fatphobia for comedy ill never be able to hold the fatphobic jokes in kung fu panda against it

like yea those movies are guilty of dipping into The Usual Tropes for a cheap laugh but not only is the character writing for the fat characters the strongest and most sympathetic ive Ever seen literally just the character designs of the pandas in the 3rd movie get me choked up sometimes. theyre all so appealing and clearly treated with the same care and attention as everyone else without copping out and making them Barely Fat. po is already a size that doesnt exist in film protags and hes still the thinnest person in that whole village and that meant a lot to me

#i havent seen the movies in ages but the design of the ribbon dancer is sooo . AUGH #like not just to have that many fat characters but have them be REALLY fat without being treated as ugly or nasty #OR THEIR FATNESS BEING TEMPORARY !!! its their natural state thats how theyre meant to look!!!! #its easy to get caught in the thinking of like. having fat characters be a minority in a lineup to reflect 'real life' #EVEN THO that isnt always true but regardless #having a cast where the nonfat characters are so few and far between theyre hardly present at all. so fucking enriching 2 me #imo writing-wise the third one is by far the weakest but it still is just so important to me that they designed the pandas like that #can i kfp post on main is that allowed #idk i watched a video essay im emotional abt this again

[buggachat]

seeing a lot of talk of the season 5 finale, which is fun, i get that it was controversial (honestly the fact it was really risky is kind of one of the things i like about it lol) and wanting to add my two cents but can't think of much i haven't already said before

but something i do want to emphasize is that season 5 ending on Marinette telling the biggest, boldest faced lie she's ever told (that goes far beyond "protecting her identity") to kick off the Lila arc is by far the coolest thing they could've done imo, because I was not at all excited for the Lila arc before but now I'm totally invested. Now Lila isn't the Evil Liar to be taken down by Good Marinette. Marinette is the liar to be taken down by the very liar that she took down. It's not a story of "defeat that freakishly evil girl" anymore, but instead a story of "Marinette's own actions and decisions coming back to bite her". And the lie itself (WHICH LILA KNOWS IS A LIE!!) only exists because, and is most impactful towards, her relationship with Adrien, which is the core of the series!! I CARE about their relationship, and that's the stakes!!!

I just cannot get over how cool that is, and how much I didn't expect it. I know we all were expecting a big fight with Ladybug and Chat Noir just defeating Gabriel and then watching Chat Noir cry or whatever in the few remaining minutes of screen-time and then it's all over and done with, but that's a series finale. This was a season finale. And they did something really unique and unexpected with it, while making sure it's a juicy season-finale conflict that leaves me actually excited about season 6

also, a side note— I think the framing of the finale made this confusing so I totally get why discussions about it are kind of all over the place, but... 90% of the post-wish stuff we saw had nothing to do with Gabriel at all. It was all Mayor Bustier, who was already running for mayor and wanted to enact green laws and projected to win (she was up against D'Argencourt, the character whose schtick is that nobody ever votes for him in elections). I don't think Gabriel's wish included "Please, Gimmi, I want my son's school teacher to win the mayoral election this year" lol. So a lot of talk of "why is Gabriel's World presented in such a positive light?" is kind of weird to me. That's not Gabriel's World. That's Caline Bustier's. All we know so far about Gabriel's World is that Nathalie is in it and he is not. And frankly, the fact everyone is so happy and cheerful and living it up after his death is more a roast than anything

( also, just a reminder that the presentation of Gabriel's statue— the only scene discussing Gabriel in a positive light by someone In The Know— was done by Tomoe Tsurugi, a series antagonist, vowing to continue his work, with a song in minor key playing in the background. i feel like the question of "was this meant to be unsettling or triumphant?" is pretty obvious. just wanted to remind everyone. also by definition characters cannot celebrate gabriel as a "hero" without in the same breath celebrating monarch's, aka gabriel's, death. yknow? )

#ml s5 spoilers #re-creation spoilers #ml re-creation #recreation spoilers #ml recreation #as w all my posts this really isnt meant to be an invitation for you to tell me what you didnt like about it #i do GET IT because i think this finale was very risky and intentionally controversial so im not surprised/dont blame you if you hate it bu #i've heard a lot of arguments against it and tbh none have been able to change the fact that I actually like it a lot so #idk would probably be more productive to make your own post about it haha #also side note: WOOOOOOO THE MYSTERIOUS WOMAN CONFIRMED TO BE AMELIE WOOOO #me hearing that it was confirmed like ''why am I gasping? i already knew that''

[unexpectedbrickattack]

peepaw doodles 💛

#pizza tower #pizza tower vigilante #human!vigilante #arts #mine #smoking #vigilante #tags.... #pepperman you can stay there but only bc u look so polite #working on vigi stuff FINALLY #some human designs; he is. small. #but hes more dorito shaped; broad shoulders. smaller waist. hes got tum but not as much as peppino #and hes got a biiiiit of a droopy eye. its a little hooded unless he widens them both in shock or somethin #and first panel isnt really meant to be cohesive its just doodles #but most of them (except for the smoking one) is him investigating shit he really shouldnt be investigating heehee #also dont mind the proportions in that spoopy one; i drew vigi before i was like um that would work well if he was running away from beasts #and then threw the hallway in there #peepaw what are u doin outside of ur comfy little country home.....

[sofiaruelle]

Sooooo the last few days i’ve been seeing stars and suddenly i’m juggling 6 sorcerer boyfriends. Whats a polar bear to do?

Also this is my MC, 🍨✨ Sorbetes ✨🍨.

Context why my MC is a sentient polar bear.

The MC doesn't have a set appearance and then there was this dialogue. And the emotes are polar bear themed 😂😂😂 is also literally its own spoiler

#arcana twilight #arcana twilight Arcturus #arcana twilight Spica #arcana twilight Vega #arcana twilight Sirius #arcana twilight Alpheratz #arcana twlight Pollux #wow cant believe i’m actually drawing/playing something other than SDV #are you proud of me? #i was supposed to be playing reverse 1999 but likkkkeeee #i heard alpheratz and spica’s voice and it was game over #i spedrun the game in a week???? and the plot isnt done yet so i dont know what to do with my life anymore #The main story is pretty good?? I mean i wish that the MC would play a more active role??? #i mean she started learning magic in a whole as new world #but i like i just want my MC to fight yknow aside from like rushing to someones aid #although she literally is meant to be a support character but like #if i cant fight with magic let me fight with my fists/sord #the game really shines with the side plots!!! I enjoyed the friendship building and the character relationships #hahahha catch me drawing some of them in the future #Sorbetes built like Alpheratz’s new favorite napping place #Spica is very disappointed somewhere #Also Sorbetes goes by they/them

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #jrwi the suckening #arthur bennett #HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT? #LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT #this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page. #but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT #ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH #WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW? #ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME #DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER #HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW #AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE #I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much.... #AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game #but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping #DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds #I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors #what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012. #almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS. #only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE #while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs #THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN #WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS #the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess. #i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band #EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION

[eeveekitti]

ok i gave in

#rain world #im not. tagign every scug sorry #rw shipping #rw cherrypie #rw bathbomb #i dont think ill tag candycane or applejuice because whats shown here isnt actually meant to be a ship #also please tell me im not the only one who thinks enot's ingame sprite is kinda boring please. it cant just be me #also also sorry for leaving out saint i had nowhere to put them #can you tell i just really like all of these characters

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

you start calling suguru ”king” as a bit and he absolutely hates it so you just keep cycling through titles (my liege, my lord, your highness etcetc) until you get to ”my emperor” and he gets a sudden shiver down his spine

#IS THIS ANYTHING #i’m just brainrotting all over the place </3 #to be clear this isnt rlly meant to be suggestive or anything i just think he gets a kick out of being called that . sick sick man #makes him feel like a feudal warhungry lord #(he also really likes it when You In Particular call him that but . we dont need to discuss it ok!!) #might sneak this into a fic bc i think it’s funny :3 #”how about… my *emperor*?” #”…..…” #”… oh. did you actually like that one?” #(his ears go red btw) #ari noises ✩

[dyingbuck]

the women of red dead redemption — rdr 2 side characters

#fay draws #red dead redemption #rdr2 #rdr #mary linton #eliza rdr2 #edith downes #penelope braithwaite #black belle #dorothea wicklow #charlotte balfour #deborah macguiness #you could argue that mary isnt really a side characters but by side characters i just meant ppl #that arents in the gang #eliza looks like a servant :( i tried to look for how waitress dressed back in 1880 and i could only find style like that

[biblically-accurate-dca]

these are all kind of Bad but this was the best of the bunch so i am posting it :p

i've been trying to draw vanessa more... she is so important to me... sun is here too i guess

#my art #probably wont tag this until later i dont want this in the tags #im mainly posting this because i absolutely need to talk abt something its been bothering me for awhile #im gonna censor this stuff (i REALLY dont want this in the tags) so just bear with me #why doesnt the 🌞&🌜 fandom talk abt v/nessa more. why do we not do that #their entire character is meant to parallel her #there's like a million tiny parallels for them in the games. they were both teased in the hw1 dlc and are both associated with that #🐰 & 🌜's animations (and even their designs) have several similarities to each other #there's a lot of cutscenes and parts of sb where one shows up after the other does.. 🐰 going to the daycare after greggy leaves #🌜 dragging feddy away to parts and service and v/nessa immediately showing up there #the entire 6am ending sequence ??? #literally like the only reason v/nessa isnt more popular is bc like 90% of her character is hidden in unused content #and because 🌞&🌜 are the skinny handsome mysterious and tragic tumblr sexymen #and when they become so isolated from their source all of their parallels to her are used to instead repackage her character into a more #appealing design for everyone to fawn over and consume #.. im being dramatic but AuUGGHTHHF IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH PLEAAAE3 pleaseee please i love her. #its so hard being in the 'i want to kiss this robot' fandom when you dont actually want to kiss the robot #i just think theyre an interesting character 😭 and also my adhd brain obsesses over them endlessly so im just stuck here HFJSJGJD #anyway these tags got way too long dont read these. im going to bed now

[subarashiihibi]

my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.

ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.

so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.

a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.

izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...

and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.

one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)

i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀

another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.

he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying

in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい？」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言ってるのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me

i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭

OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.

first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.

???

ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that

(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)

oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.

1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな？」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.

i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.

'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.

this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀

does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day

if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.

this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...

speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.

i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)

when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.

i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much

#my media literacy suddenly skyrockets when it comes to izaya #anything else im like zzzzzzzzzz as soon as its time to talik abt izaya im like I'M UP !!!! 💯💯💯💯 #but ya this isnt meant to be like anything crazy or nothing i just felt like talking abt izaya and some stuff in particular i found amusing #sorry if i sound stupid in some spots im trying not to just add 20 skull emojis or crying emojis and make fun of him #it's either that or im trying not to sexualize him #it's a battle. it's prety hard. #theres a REALLY easy joke i could make there but im not going to . im gonna be mature . #ok sorry thats all i dont have enough energy to think anymroe #i started new meds today and my heartds feeling a little funny so imight die after posting this</3

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

I am. Wildly uncomfortable with JGY gaslighting Qin Su in that one scene. Props to MXTX for writing it so well because I've read it countless times already but it always makes me sick

He goes through a cycle of psychological abuse strategies that range from "im the victim" to "you'll be the one everyone will point and laugh at"

Here are some examples:

"You're hurting me"

Jin Guangyao sighed. "A-Su, you're the one who told me to say those words, but when I say them, you refuse to believe me. That makes it really difficult for me."

"You're being ungrateful."

"I know I've treated you very well as a husband, so your behavior right now genuinely hurts me."

"It's not a big deal." And "It's all in your head"

"A-Su, weren't we doing just fine before you learned about this?" Jin Guangyao reasoned. "Today, the day you found out, is the only day you've felt such nausea, and it's only because the knowledge troubles you. Which goes to show that it doesn't really matter. It didn't substantially affect you in any other way. It's just your own mind causing you grief."

"You're exaggerating"

Jin Guangyao seemed tired. "A-Su, what are you thinking? A-Song was my son. What do you think I would do? You would rather trust someone who hides their head and tail, a letter of unknown origins, than me?"

"It's all in your head."

"Stop letting your mind run wild." Jin Guangyao pleaded. "Tell me, who did you see today? And who gave you this letter?"

"You're the one people will ostracize most"

"If that person can tell you, they can tell others. If they can write one letter, they can write a second, a third. What are you going to do? Let this be exposed? (...)"

"It was for your own good"

Jin Guangyao's eyes were filled with grief-stricken tenderness "A-Su, I really had no other choice. I wanted to lie to you for the rest of your life, to keep you in the dark, but that hope has been thoroughly dashed by the one who told you this today. You think me filthy, you think me disgusting, that's fine. But if this goes out - you are my wife, what would others say? What would they think of you?"

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #original thots #i really dont like this part #its interesting and well written indeed #but it evokes Reactions out of me #maybe im projecting a lil #this isnt meant to start discourse btw its just my opinion!!!!

[forgondor]

I haven’t read the book so I can’t say but something that struck me in James Ivory’s 1987 Maurice is the fact that Maurice & Alec’s relationship is started by Maurice unknowingly sending a signal to Alec, which Alec largely misinterprets, but it works out anyways, and much later at the end, when they meet at the boathouse, Alec goes “did you get my wire” and Maurice goes “what” because again he completely missed that signal but it doesn’t matter because he’s here anyways. And it’s like. There were a million mistakes to make and a million mistakes they made, but somehow, they find their way to each other, almost unwittingly. Maurice says “It’s a chance in a thousand we met” but I don’t think that’s true. I think it was always going to be like this, in every world they would have found each other. It’s the way they fall into each other’s arms so easily and they try to get away from each other but they can’t and they’re separated by so much but they still collide... This story is SCREAMING at us that no matter how impossible it is no matter how alone and repressed you feel you mustn’t lose hope because your love will find you and you can’t avoid it! You will be happy!

#this isnt about being soulmates i don't really believe in soulmates nor do i love soulmate stories #this is about how queer people have never been alone and have always found each other throughout history even in the most repressed of times #this is about how maurice never gave up on his hopes for happiness and ultimately thats what brings him happiness (unlike clive) #if you trust life and you put yourself out there and you're true to yourself then happiness will find you #just dont lose hope #it's also when alec says 'when you arrived i thought I want that one and look at us now' its like well of course. of course #meant to be etc #also intertwined with the themes of nature and the natural and freedom etc #maurice #maurice 1987 #maurice and alec #maurice hall #alec scudder