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what-gs-watching · 6 months

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"Why is no one having a good time? I specifically requested it."

Here’s a thing: my husband used to watch a ton of tv, all the time. Always had something on in the background. But then he got sucked into TikTok and his attention span broke, so I’ve been watching most things myself.

He just put together a snack to wind down from his work day, and came back in for a glass of milk. I’m on the couch and as he swished by he said “I just turned on Brooklyn Nine-Nine”, which in and of itself was surprising, only to continue “and remembered he’s dead…” and I let out a wail I’ve been mostly ignoring.

Andre Braugher, I’m so sad that you’re gone. Brooklyn Nine-Nine is one of my absolute favorite comfort shows, and I’m not sure how I’m going to stand it now, for a while. Captain Holt is iconic, you can’t watch that show and not fall in love with him.

And now it’s just…sad.

Nine-Nine is another one of those shows I started watching religiously while it was airing on cable, the entirety of the reason being Andy mother-effing Samberg. I have been in love with him (and the Lonely Island, which we should talk about eventually) since that crazy man joined SNL and so nothing was going to tear me away from his randon sitcom. I came for him, obviously, but I stayed for everyone else.

Including, and mostly, Captain Raymond Holt.

I’m not gonna lie, he might be the most realized, well-defined character on the show. The man has layers. Gay, black cop who finally becomes captain of his own squad. Deadly serious, married to a professor, proud dog dad, lover of rules, hard grudge-holder, extremely literal and blunt, with the weirdest sense of humor.

Most of the best moments of this show involve Holt. There’s an entire scene wherein the squad is put on the night shift and it’s fucking with everyone’s relationships and someone suggests his bad mood is because he needs to bone down with his husband. His reaction has me crying every single time.

He has a dance-off with a kid on the street. He goes undercover as a straight person and does it hilariously. He gets incredibly, heavily, disturbingly invested in the Halloween heist game Jake sets up each year. He creates a ridiculous balloon arch for a wedding and gets deeply attached to it, and is infuriated by the fact that everyone thinks it’s weird as hell. He has the most fantastic arch rival relationship with an old partner, to the point where he plans to deliver a scathing eulogy when she unexpectedly dies. He learns the choreography set to Salt ‘N Peppa’s “Push It” and performs it to distract Amy while she’s giving birth.

It feels like a lot of characters on tv are two-dimensional, but good lord, Holt was in full technicolor, and it’s obvious the reason it works so well is because Andre Braugher was a master of his craft. He WAS Holt, for a lot of people, including me. No one else could have stepped in and created that man.

Throughout the show, Jake treated him like a surrogate dad because his own father (lol at Bradley Whitford in that role) was a dumpster fire, and it was really sweet. He just wanted validation, and acceptance.

In the finale, he tells Jake, "On my first day here, I asked Jeffords to tell me about everyone, He told me you were a great detective, but the one thing you couldn’t figure out was how to grow up. Well, I think you’ve finally figured it out. Over the years, you’ve sometimes referred to me as something of a father figure, but I want you to know, if I had had a son, and he had turned out like you, I would be very proud of him.”

I have a dad of my own, he’s wonderful and I love him and we have a great relationship, but y’all, Holt can be a surrogate dad for me too. He can be one for everyone. He always had a pearl of wisdom and he supported the entire squad in absolutely everything, and he was just an excellent human. Who was FUNNY and multidimensional and just…dope.

He’s one of those perfect characters. And they don’t come along that often. So I guess the point is, thank you, Andre Braugher, for bringing him to life, and giving us the gift that is Captain Raymond Holt. I’m glad we still have him, even if we don’t have you.

#brooklyn nine nine #brooklyn 99 #captain holt #captain raymond holt #andre braugher #andy samberg #what g's watching #comfort show

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ghouly-boiiiii · 1 month

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My Name Is Cooper

Chapter 2 The Ethics of Flower Flavored Candy

(Lucy x Cooper Howard / The Ghoul)

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Tags: angst, fluff, romance, humor, banter, femdom, alcohol and drug use, eventual smut

In this chapter...

Finally, she wore herself out and fell to her knees. “I-I don’t understand!” She cried as The Ghoul approached her. “None of this makes sense! The vaults… the vaults were created to save humanity, not… not destroy it!” She gasped as she choked back sobs. “I… I came out here… to find my dad… He was… he was kidnapped by raiders! My mom… she died of starvation when I was a kid…” Her face contorted as tears streamed down her cheeks. “This… this can’t be real!!”

The Ghoul stood over her while she sat there heaving for breath, grinding his teeth a bit in contemplation. He looked up at the vault, then back down at her, then took one of his guns by the barrel - a semi-automatic pistol he only really used for backup when needed - and offered it to her. “Here.”

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 1,502

SPOILER WARNING: Contains all the spoilers

No trigger warnings except eventual sexy time with a zombie man.

Hours had gone by. It was hot. Lucy was hungry, thirsty, exhausted, but she didn’t really care. The feeling of numbness, of surreal, had not worn off. But strangely enough, seemed to be eased by the presence of the one thing she thought would make it all so much worse…

The Ghoul…

For all accounts and purposes, she should hate him. He took her captive, banged her up and tried to sell her for parts. This creature… had been so cruel to her. Not to mention, he was rude and sarcastic and downright unpleasant at times, but… strangely… there was something... oddly warm about his presence as well. Something almost… familiar. Like she’d known him before... But she knew that was impossible. Maybe he reminded her of someone, she thought. But she just couldn’t put her finger on who that could be.

On the other hand, maybe it was just the heat. Or dehydration. Or maybe just the fact that she didn’t want to be alone. Maybe it was because she felt a little safer with someone who had experience in this wasteland. Maybe her head was just in a weird spot after everything that’d happened, or... maybe she was just losing her mind. But for some reason... she found a strange comfort in being around him… and it made absolutely no sense.

As they went along, she found it odd that he just kept talking, despite the fact that he claimed he "preferred the peace and quiet". He still refused to answer any of her questions, but went on to tell her wild stories about jobs and hunts he’s done, monologues about traditions or practices from the old world, and strange philosophical meanderings about the ethics of... “flower flavored candy”.

There was some of it she really didn’t quite understand. Maybe because he was… probably a little crazy, she thought. Or because he was talking about things that were way before her time, and that her history lessons never mentioned. But it really started to dawn on her just how long this man had been out here… wondering these dystopian wastelands. He’d been alive for longer than she could possibly even imagine. The fact that he was around even before the bombs fell... an event that defined the entire way of the world as she knew it... It was such an alien concept to her. A world where the whole surface was like a vault. No... better than a vault. Where people were safe and happy and free. Where the world was clean, healthy and alive instead of everything being dead or mutated or full of radiation... All the wonderful things he must have seen… and… all the horrible things he must have seen... All the pain he must have gone through… All the people he must have lost... and yet… he talked about it all like it was no big deal. With an unwavering sense of humor to boot.

It was so… strange. He was a complete conundrum to her. A mystery. A puzzle. She soon found herself wanting to know more and more about him. And since he wouldn’t be straight with her, she also found herself listening diligently to find whatever clues she could decipher…

At least… it was a good distraction from… all the other awful things she could be thinking about...

That is… until they happened upon something that would bring it all flooding back.

“Well… would you look at that...” The Ghoul said, pointing out a familiar looking structure ahead of them. “Home sweet home. Eh, Vaulty?”

The vault dweller blinked as she looked up at the ruined remains of what appeared to be an abandoned vault. The massive vault door was left ajar, broken and leaning into the wall. The large number in front was no longer decipherable, as it had been scratched off and painted over with graffiti. The entire structure had been defaced, with things like ‘FUCK THE VAULTS!’ and ‘DOWN WITH VAULT-TEC!’ written in large red letters.

“Well, now… Whaddaya think happened here?” The Ghoul said as he casually strode up to the opening, his eyes scanning the place as Dogmeat sniffed around eagerly.

Protruding out of the ground nearby was the greater half of a billboard that once promoted the vaults, with Vault Boy’s cartoony face grinning cheekily at her, each of his eyes crossed out with the same reddish paint… or maybe it was blood. The original words on the board, ‘Prepare for the future!’ were barely visible, but she knew these kinds of images so well, she didn’t need to see them clearly to know what it said.

It was too much... She couldn’t take it anymore… She’d had enough.

“AAAGHH!!!”

The Ghoul jumped a bit when something slammed into the large metal wall in front of him, startled by the unexpected projectile.

“GHAAGH!!!”

Then another hit, a little lower this time and further away from him. His chin jutted out in slight annoyance as he calmly turned to look at Lucy, who was crying and throwing whatever she could grab. Rocks, bones, hunks of metal… “Motherfucker!!!” She screamed, “Piece of shit!! Motherfucking son of a bitch!!!”

“Huhnn…” The Ghoul murmured as he tilted his head slightly, then felt it wise to get the hell out of the way. He walked back up to her - in a curve so he wasn’t in the line of fire - and watched as she scrambled for bigger and bigger objects until she was trying to pick up things she could hardly lift, throwing them two feet in front of her, then kicking them violently all while screaming like a mad woman.

Lucy lifted her head and looked at the gun, then up at him. “...W-what?”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the Wasteland… it’s that guns ain’t just good for survival … They’re an excellent tool for anger management …” He said in a half-joking tone. “If you got the extra bullets, I mean… And I got plenty.”

Lucy blinked, then stood back up and snatched the gun from him. She looked around for her target, took aim and began to fire with a furrowed brow and clenched teeth. She screamed one more time as she emptied the clip into the vault door, then Vault Boy’s cheerful face, and continued pulling the trigger several times after it was out. Then she dropped her hands and stood there, staring at her handiwork.

“...Feel better?” The Ghoul said with a smirk, tilting his head slightly.

“...Not even a little bit.” She growled, then shoved the gun back into his hands and started walking away.

“Hey… hold up there, Tenderfoot. We ain’t leavin' yet.” He said as he put the pistol back in its holster.

She stopped and turned back to him, glaring at him through the beating sun. “What do you mean not yet? I don’t want to stay here...”

“Could be somethin’ useful left down there.” The Ghoul reasoned. “Guns. Food. Maybe even some of that… fresh, cleeeaan water you like so much.” He snickered, drawing out the word ‘clean’ in a taunting manner.

She rolled her eyes. It seemed asking him for water once was something she was never going to live down, apparently. “I said… I told you I wasn’t stepping foot in one of these places ever again…”

“Well, it ain’t like we settin’ up shop or nothin’, sweetheart.” The experienced wastelander said as he pulled out his Winchester. “This here’s called scavengin’. And if you plannin’ on stayin’ up here, it’s something you gonna have to learn if you wanna survive. Now, come on.”

With that, he started towards the open vault door with his weapon drawn, ready to shoot anything that might jump out at them. Dogmeat followed nearby, sniffing the ground and eyeing the darkness before them cautiously.

The Ghoul peered into the vault as they got closer, tilting his head as he scanned the inside. “Lights are still on...” Dogmeat jumped in ahead of him, growling lowly as she picked up the skittering of radroaches.

Lucy huffed a little, but reluctantly grabbed her own gun and started to follow behind.

To be continued...

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#ghoulcy #cooper howard #the ghoul #lucy maclean #fallout #fallout show #fanfiction #ao3 #my fanfiction #my posts #ghouly-boi

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apocalypticavolition · 8 months

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Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 8: The Dragon Reborn

This post and every other one I'll write is full of nothing but spoilers for the whole of The Wheel of Time series, so don't keep reading if that's a problem.

Once again I forgot about chapter icons. Last chapter was the wheel icon, which is probably because of the prophecy and the way it defines much of the shape of the rest of the age. This time we have the dragon's fang icon because Rand is the Dragon Reborn.

As they approached the women’s apartments, Lan suddenly snapped, “Cat Crosses the Courtyard!”

And this is why militaries have all those horrible drills, because it's actually a really good way of making stupid bullshit into reflexive routine. Lan gets to enjoy being one of the very few people in the world who get to order the Dragon Reborn around without consequence because he's doing it for Rand's good instead of whatever the hell it was Cadsuane was going for.

Were they looking for all of us, or just me? Why all of us?

They've been looking for all three of you this whole time, Rand. I get that you'd think things have changed now that one of you is the definitive Dragon Reborn, but that wasn't a guarantee. Shame Moiraine didn't spend the last month reminding you of that.

“What have you brought the Amyrlin Seat today, Lan Gaidin? A young lion? Better you don’t let any Greens see this one, or one of them will bond him before he can take a breath. Greens like to bond them young.”

Well that's not rapey at all and it certainly isn't foreshadowing. Sorry Elayne, but fuck the Greens.

The Aes Sedai shook her head. “The world grows stranger every day. I suppose the blacksmith will wear a crown and speak in High Chant. Wait here.”

And this also isn't foreshadowing, but not in my blatant lies kind of way, but in a "Somebody refused to finish the man's character arc" kind of way.

“Do you now, boy?” She sounded almost amused.

Siuan and I have very similar senses of humor I think.

Three Aes Sedai. How many does it take to gentle a man? They sent a dozen or more after Logain. Would Moiraine do that to me?

That's a good question, Rand. We know that any thirteen Aes Sedai in general could successfully shield you, but I'm not sure we know that they could gentle you on top of that if they were absolutely the weakest of the weak. The Tower only needed six specific Aes Sedai to keep Rand shielded, so presumably seven more of that caliber could finish the job if not fewer. But could Moiraine and Siuan, the Wondergirls of a previous generation, do the job with just Verin? Maybe right now while Rand's weak, but possibly not up against him in his fullest.

“Lan has been teaching all the boys, Mother,” Moiraine replied calmly. “He has spent a little more time with this one than the others because he carries a sword.”

Has Lan been teaching Mat and Perrin offscreen? I'm not convinced: Moiraine might well be counting the early drills in the last book. Let's her cover for the embarrassment of Lan fucking with their schemes.

“Tam al’Thor left the Two Rivers as a boy, Mother. He joined the army of Illian, and served in the Whitecloak War and the last two wars with Tear. In time he rose to be a blademaster and the Second Captain of the Companions. After the Aiel War, Tam al’Thor returned to the Two Rivers with a wife from Caemlyn and an infant boy. It would have saved much, had I known this earlier, but I know it now.”

Moiraine's only slightly exaggerating about Tam being a boy - the Whitecloak War was when he was 17! Like Rand, I do wonder how she got this information. Were her Eyes-and-Ears able to access some kind of public records in Illian for her? "Wife from Caemlyn" probably came directly from Nynaeve because it's not something that would be easy to learn otherwise in this sort of setting and because it's the kind of detail that covers for Rand.

“Against Tear.” The Amyrlin Seat frowned slightly.

Kinda funny that Siuan is so pissed at everyone for thinking she still has Blue loyalties when she still clearly likes her own homeland despite it hating her. She's mature enough to let it go though.

“Lan has been at you. Listen to me, boy. In a few hours, Ingtar will leave to find the stolen Horn. Your friend, Mat, will go with him. I expect that your other friend—Perrin?—will go, also. Do you wish to accompany them?”

And she is a good Amyrlin. She doesn't try to put Rand on a leash but talks about the thing that it makes the most sense for him to be interested in and encourages him to go do it even though it means being free range.

Or you can stay here. No doubt Lord Agelmar will let you remain as a guest as long as you wish. I will be leaving today, as well. Moiraine Sedai will accompany me, and so will Egwene and Nynaeve, so you will stay alone, if you stay. The choice is yours.

That said, she does try to put her thumb on the scales by emphasizing that Rand's gonna be on her own. But this kind of emotional manipulation is a lot more human and barely manipulative than putting someone in a box, so I don't hold it against her.

“How am I supposed to learn?” he demanded. Moiraine and Verin just sat there, unruffled, watching him. Like spiders. “How? Moiraine claims she can’t teach me anything, and I don’t know how to learn, or what. I don’t want to, anyway. I want to stop. Can’t you understand that? To stop!”

This is one of those things where I really don't think the show's changes are working in its favor. While it's fair enough to take umbrage to the whole "women forfeit, men conquer" dynamic of channeling, making them both share the same dynamic and making people able to teach those of the opposite gender means that Moiraine's not doing much with Rand gets even stupider on her front in hindsight. Book Moiraine legitimately cannot help Rand on this front and has no way of doing so; of her failings in between this book and the last, this is not among them.

“I have always thought that was a bad saying,” Verin said suddenly. “There are birds that dive and swim. And in the Sea of Storms are fish that fly, with long fins that stretch out as wide as your outstretched arms, and beaks like swords that can pierce. . . .” Her words trailed off and she became flustered. Moiraine and the Amyrlin Seat were staring at her without expression.

This is about as close to acknowledging the existence of non-Satan-caused trans people as the books get, but frankly I'll take it because we need it. I very much embrace the headcanon that trans people who seem to channel the wrong half of the Source have occasionally popped up and that they're among the secrets the Red Ajah keeps from the general Tower to avoid having their mandate reexamined.

But yeah, while I think Verin is usually playing up her distractability, I think this is a legitimately careless interruption on her part since they're talking about one of her hyperfixations.

The Amyrlin Seat looked him straight in the eye and said, “Because you are the Dragon Reborn.” The void rocked. The world rocked. Everything seemed to spin around him. He concentrated on nothing, and the emptiness returned, the world steadied. “No, Mother. I can channel, the Light help me, but I am not Raolin Darksbane, nor Guaire Amalasan, nor Yurian Stonebow. You can gentle me, or kill me, or let me go, but I will not be a tame false Dragon on a Tar Valon leash.”

Poor Rand. This was probably the most effective of Ba'allsy's manipulations last book and it at least is paying dividends. Even Verin is like "Damn!" and she almost never does that.

Moiraine made a sound, and he glanced at her. She claimed Thom was not dead, but she had never offered any proof, and he could not see how any man could survive grappling hand-to-hand with a Fade.

Impressive that the thing which almost brings Rand out of the void after the first big blow to it is Moriaine being all genre savvy.

We were soon to be raised to sisterhood, and that night we stood attendance on the then Amyrlin. Her Keeper of the Chronicles, Gitara Moroso, was there. Every other full sister in Tar Valon was out Healing as many wounded as she could find, even the Reds.

The Tower probably hasn't been emptied of sisters like that since Hawkwing's siege, when the sisters were probably often required to stand the walls. And before that probably not since the Trolloc Wars.

‘He is born again! I feel him! The Dragon takes his first breath on the slope of Dragonmount! He is coming! He is coming! Light help us! Light help the world! He lies in the snow and cries like the thunder! He burns like the sun!’

This is kind of a weird Foretelling in the grand scheme of things because it's really more of a... Telling. No future tense. Guess the Wheel was lagging a little because of the Aiel War.

For years we searched, finding other clues, poring over the Prophecies. ‘He will be of the ancient blood, and raised by the old blood.’ That was one; there were others. But there are many places where the old blood, descended from the Age of Legends, remains strong.

This is a weird little detail because... Well, the Aes Sedai seem to be interpreting it poorly. The ancient blood is the blood descended from the AoL; the Aiel are the only ethnic group that resemble any specific populace from the old days. The old blood is just that from the dawn of the age, but Manetheren is about two centuries separated from the end of the War of the Shadow and specifically formed as a distinct identity because the Mediterranean was turned into a mountain range.

If you believe that, you are as much a fool as the Domani. Many there believe he is dead, or say they do, but I notice they still won’t risk naming him.

Do we ever learn why the people of Arad Doman think that the Dark One is dead? It's one thing to not believe in Shadowspawn if you don't live on the Borderlands, but to think that the Dark One is just dead, dead? Where on Earth did THAT belief come from?

A part of Lan’s instructions came back to him. Left hand on the hilt, he twisted the sword behind him, catching the scabbard in his right, then bowed, arms straight. “By your leave, Mother, may I depart this place?”

Also, does Rand ever give Egwene this level of respect? Just wondering.

She stared at the spot where the bird had been. There is a storm, and there isn’t. It means something. But what?

It means your power is metaphorical! World's about to be broken in half a thousand ways. Considering everything else that has happened since you left home, it's surprising that you're not figuring that out, Nynaeve.

I don’t know, Nynaeve. He came out as fast as if he had Heartsbane himself at his heels. As well he might, coming here with a sword at his belt. The Dark One should be the least of his worries after that. What is the world coming to? And him presented to the Amyrlin in her chambers,

NGL, I don't think Siuan and Moiraine's plan to make sure all three ta'veren are seen is half as slick as they think, because Perrin's visit probably isn't going to involve his axe and Mat is unconscious. It's blatantly apparent which boy is the special one, especially for Elaida who they know is on Moiraine's trail.

Mavra will have to get back to her own village. No village can do without its Wisdom for long. Nynaeve cringed inside. She had been gone months from Emond’s Field.

Only two and a half! But it's nice of Jordan to start seeding the various archway problems she's having now, especially since this is the most immediate of them.

I ought to dose myself with rannel and sheepstongue root, she thought sourly. It was the mixture she gave anyone who moped about and claimed they were sick, or behaved like a goose. Rannel and sheepstongue root would perk you up a little, and did no harm, but mainly it tasted horrible, and the taste lasted all day. It was a perfect cure for acting the fool.

You overestimate me, Nynaeve! If it's an upper, I could get hooked to it no matter how miserable it tasted!

It took an effort to face him, but she was sure her features were calm when she looked up at him. “I’m looking for Rand.” She was not about to admit to avoiding him. “We said all we need to say long ago, you and I. I shamed myself—which I will not do again—and you told me to go away.”

I love all of Lan's deeply dysfunctional relationships. Poor Nynaeve. She has her pride at least.

He shrugged in an offhand way. “It is nothing. Old, and useless, now. But there are those who would know it when they saw it. Show that, and you will have guestright, and help if you need it, from any lord in the Borderlands. Show it to a Warder, and he will give aid, or carry a message to me. Send it to me, or a message marked with it, and I will come to you, without delay and without fail. This I swear.”

Lan: Crap, is it gay if I give Rand a pin? I know, I'll give Nynaeve jewelry and then it's still straight. Right?

Man was red in the face and studying his pipe intently cuz he was hoping he and his wife were about to get invites into Rand's little orgies, just saying.

“Not long enough to hear anything I should not have,” the Aes Sedai replied smoothly. “We will be leaving soon. I heard that. You must see to your packing.”

Moiraine: Anything Lan has to say at any time is something I should hear if I choose to. But also I guess you can keep your dignity.

“They are more than old enough to be off apron strings,” Moiraine said dryly. “And you know very well why you could never do that. For one of them, at least. Besides, it would mean leaving Egwene to go to Tar Valon alone. Or have you decided to forgo Tar Valon yourself? If your own use of the Power is not schooled, you will never be able to use it against me.”

Moiraine: Well, some of your dignity.

The two of them never getting to square off, even if just as a friendly exercise instead of Nynaeve's actual plan to totally kill her, is a missed opportunity.

“Nearly, Nynaeve. I am almost sorry to be going. I don’t suppose we’ll have many chances in Tar Valon to wear the nice dresses Amalisa gave us.” She gave an abrupt laugh. “Still, Wisdom, I won’t miss being able to bathe without looking over my shoulder the whole time.”

Yeah those dresses are basically already gone, aren't they? By the time Egwene could wear any of them again if she wanted, she's been away from Tar Valon for months.

“You are a woman, now.” Nynaeve glanced at her unbraided hair, and Egwene resisted the urge to hurriedly twist it into a semblance of a braid. Aes Sedai wore their hair any way they wanted, but wearing hers loose had become a symbol of starting on a new life. “You are a woman,” Nynaeve repeated firmly. “We are two women, a long way from Emond’s Field, and it will be longer still before we see home again. It will be better if you simply call me Nynaeve.”

Nynaeve really desperately wants to chide Egwene over her hair but is trying to give her respect. And she only doesn't want to be called Wisdom so she won't feel guilty about what she's done, though really she probably shouldn't have been forced into being the Wisdom so young in the first place. It's good that Nynaeve is getting a new life too, where she can make her own decisions instead of being bound to the expectations of a conservative community.

“Egwene, that young man of yours is trying to come into the women’s apartments.” She sounded scandalized. “And wearing a sword. Just because the Amyrlin let him enter that way. . . . Lord Rand should know better. He is causing an uproar. Egwene, you must speak to him.”

Jesus Rand, did you get drunk in the last three pages?

She had heard the talk in the women’s apartments about a suitable wife for Rand. At first it had caused stabs of jealousy, and anger. He had been all but promised to her since they were children. But she was going to be an Aes Sedai, and he was what he was. A man who could channel. She could marry him. And watch him go mad, watch him die. The only way to stop it would be to have him gentled. I can’t do that to him. I can’t!

What the Egwene haters here miss is that "at first" stating that Egwene no longer feels jealousy and anger about the whole affair because she's moved on in a healthy fashion. Well, semi-healthy, since her Accepted test will be entirely about her fixation on the probability of having to fail Rand in some way.

“I have to see her,” Rand said stubbornly. “We’re leaving soon. Not soon enough for me, but I still have to see Egwene. We will get the Horn of Valere and the dagger back, and that will be the end of it. The end of it. But I want to see her before I go.” Egwene frowned; he sounded odd.

Yeah, you know what, I am going with drunk. Boy ran to drown his stress and/or himself in a keg, got shit-faced at noon, and is now belligerent as all hell.

The women were still watching, Egwene realized. Watching her as well as Rand. Waiting to see what she would do. So I’m supposed to deal with him, am I? Yet she felt her heart going out to him. His hair needed brushing. His face showed anger, defiance, and weariness. “Walk with me,” she told him.

She's already great at Amyrlining, huh? She's definitely gonna deal with Rand's bad behavior here, but she's not going to make a spectacle of it just because Ran did, and she's not going to be overly harsh because she gets that's he's going through a lot.

“I suppose—I suppose I’ll never see you again. I know you have to go to Tar Valon. I know that. And you’ll become an Aes Sedai. I am done with Aes Sedai, Egwene. I won’t be a puppet for them, not for Moiraine, or any of them.”

You know, for all that Siuan's soft power game is really the preferred approach, it does absolutely suck balls that she inadvertently put the panic of losing Egwene and Nynaeve as friends into his mind. Like his behavior is not remotely her fault or anything (it's his) but it's pretty clear he's acting out like this because the sudden deadline looming freaked him the hell out.

“Listen to me, you great ox. I am going to be an Aes Sedai, and I’ll find a way to help you. I will.”

And despite Rand's whining, Egwene does repeatedly find ways to help Rand.

Tears blurred her vision as she threw her arms around him. “You take care of yourself,” she said fiercely into his chest. “If you don’t, I’ll—I’ll. . . .” She thought she heard him murmur, “I love you,” and then he was firmly unwrapping her arms, gently moving her away from him. He turned and strode away from her, almost running.

I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING.

I'm so happy that this isn't the end of their friendship because goddamn.

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #rand al'thor #lan mandragoran #ingtar shinowa #kajin #leane sharif #moiraine damodred #verin mathwin #siuan sanche #nynaeve al'meara #egwene al'vere #agelmar jagad

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shuuji-thoughts · 3 months

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on Go - Isao Yukisada (2001)

Initial Impressions

Having absolutely loved Yosuke Kubozuka's performance in IWGP, the greatest show of all time, I was extremely excited to see him in this and it certainly did not disappoint. It has almost exactly the same kind of late '90s/ early 2000s energy that I loved that show for, although in a slightly different flavor. The quick cuts, the random speed-ups, the random violence, the sense of humor, etc etc, I love it all so much. And of course, Kobuzuka's performance here cannot be understated, the man is such a fucking vibe. If I had a spirit animal it would be him 100%.

Further Critique

The main thing that impressed me about this film was just how many directions it managed to go and just how many things it covered during its runtime. This did kinda make it feel a bit all over the place at times, but I felt like the variety was appropriate considering the complexity of the topic matter. For example, the father was a bit of a confusing character for me at first, as I couldn't quite figure out what the film was trying to get across by spending so much time focused on him, but by the end it was clear that he was just as relevant to the message of the film as Sugihara was, even if he is kind of a piece of shit at times. Another thing that felt a little weird at first was Sakurai kinda just literally being a manic pixie dream girl, which is why I was so fucking happy her character took the direction it did because I feared she would end up feeling a little too fake and kinda bring the film down, but luckily I was totally wrong there.

On that note, there were so many fucking amazing scenes in this film, namely the confession scene, the following scene with the copper, and that last confrontation scene. The confession scene in particular hit me really fucking hard because I could totally feel the awkward, confused feelings of both characters, conflicted between their own desires and the convoluted and complicated rules surrounding their identities. When she says whatever it was along the lines of "I understand in my head, but my body is rejecting you", it hit like a truck. It is fucking insane how social conditioning and shit gets totally absorbed into your subconscious to the point where even if you understand what's wrong with it, it still takes a crazy amount of effort to consciously resist it. I also thought it was revealing how the first thing Sugihara said when coming out to her wasn't like "My dad's from North Korea", it was "I'm not Japanese", despite the fact that the dude was born and raised there, spoke the language fluently, and could easily pass as Japanese in his everyday life if he wanted to. I thought this was a brilliant writing choice as it alludes to the real crux of the issue here, that being the exclusive nature of the title of "Japanese". No matter what he does, he will never not be seen as something "different" in Japan, purely because of his blood ties. The reverse would also be the case if he were to go to Korea, as evident by his time at the Chosen school, where he was considered a race traitor. No matter where he goes, he will always be defined by what he isn't. This is what made that final confrontation scene with Sakurai so damn powerful. Kubozuka delivered his lines with so much goddamn passion, it felt genuinely cathartic after seeing everything he'd gone through. With lines like, “Lions don’t call themselves lions, you gave them that fucking name” and, “I’m a fucking question mark”, etc, this scene was genuinely so fucking good. Alright, I'll stop gushing now lol. 8/10

#japanese film

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freebooter4ever · 4 months

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Hey thanks I thought I was the only one who didn’t like the joke. Everyone laughed yuck

Ahhhhh yeah :/ i thought the joke was definitely funny, but with that harsh twinge of sadness at just how normalized and accepted this sort of sexism STILL is.

' i was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes, i get older but your lovers stay my age '

And its not necessarily a damnation of the man himself - obviously rami is a favorite of mine but i dont think hes ever dated anyone over 30 and is veering towards jake and leo disease too, and i still think rami is one of the most brilliant character narrative builders in the business currently - but its a damnation of a culture that treats romantic partners not as equals but as disposable play things with an expiration date. Look, i got flirted with by much older guys in pittsburgh all the time - usually it was cute, they were friendly, very complimentary and flattering about it, and they never treated it seriously or asked me out. Then i came to LA and the difference was night and day. Older (rich) men here feel entitled to younger women in a way that is frankly scary - at one point in a bar when a guy in his 60s was hitting on me my muscular male friend had to physically step between us and scare the guy off to get him to go away.

And it doesn't help that im sort of in the 'one of the guys' category, so i've heard the way these super rich dudes talk about the models they date behind their back while hanging with 'the guys', and, ugh, its not nice. I will say one thing for sports dudes - i imagine guys like ja*gr have way more respect for young women who are passionate about health and fitness than computer science executives.

But there's negatives in the sports world too - yall know how much i adore taylor. But even i recognize that she's not 'sports bro hot' - she doesn't have silicone, her make up is understated, she doesn't have that social media defined 'hotness' that sports fan dudes expect their sports heroes to date. So while i was naively scrolling insta looking for cute snapshots of taylor and travis being all lovey dovey at the end of the game, a good half the comments were men complaining about her. Saying they cant understand why travis is dating someone so old, that she will never be able to give him kids, that she's already showing her age (both of them are 34 btw). So far travis seems to ignore these types of comments but it would be hard to judge him for giving into peer pressure because this stuff is just so prevelant and exhausting.

And it does effect us older women - while i was dating Pilot Boy i was absolutely hyper aware of the fact that here is this rich, handsome, successful, and extremely smart guy dating beneath him. Like we bonded over being literally the same age - we had mutual friends in college without even knowing it. But i was always questioning like what does this guy see in me - why isn't he dating a gorgeous 25 year old whose only goal in life is to live on the beach with him??? Like he was honestly more the type of dude i would be friends with while he dates hotter women, lol. So i really was not surprised when he ended things (i was mostly sad that we couldnt stay friends and continue geeking out on airplanes and history together LOL), it just felt like it made sense, of course he wouldn't be serious about me, a guy like him should be dating a fresh, youthful, less bitter and cynical 25 yr old blonde. Six years in LA and this is just the pattern i see repeating itself over and over.

And im the romantic - when i fall in love its ALL in. Usually it's personality, usually its intellectual - that comfort in finding someone who just understands how you think. I love being so close to someone that you know them better than yourself, that you can communicate wordlessly. Shared humor, shared experience. As i age im learning that i actually dont pay much attention to the signs of aging when it comes to attraction - who notices wrinkles when what you're in love with is that look in their eye when they smile at you? The mental connection between romantic partners is the most important for me in my book. For me this typically means someone within the ten year range plus or minus - though i prefer it even within a five year age gap.

#But i also really feel for the women because when i was 22 i got myself into a relationship with a man a decade older #Who only valued me for my youth and tight skin #And even back then no matter how much in love i was (and i have since deleted all the posts but even after he dumped me i was still #coming on this blog sighing about how much i loved and missed him)#The feeling of being only valued for your youth was still skeevy to me #In the back of my mind i knew that this was a trait i was eventually going to lose because everyone ages #And i was not confident enough to think i would ever have any value beyond Young #And thats not to say there are not relationships with age gaps that are healthy - there totally are look at ally and justin they ARE love #Its just a very specific type of relationship where the older partner keeps dating younger and younger and only values youth #that creeps me out #And in our culture that narrative usually is an older man with a younger woman and i tend to side with the woman #THE GOOD NEWS is if you notice in the clips and gifs it looks like the younger guys on the pens are laughing a lot less than the old guard #i think the newer generation - the dudes in their 20s are starting to realize how shallow all this is and that things are changing #and that the generation of women after me will deal with a lot less pressure #At least i hope!!!#Jrnlsht #Sorry this got long

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jamieedlund · 2 years

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I know you how much you love Callum and his potential, so let's go with Callum for the character ask

I just see this as free license to doodle my son

First impression: Hm????? A potential bishounen and a good caring brother with a childlike sense of humor???? AND HE DRAWS? oh hell ye-

Impression now:----nooooooooo Pls his character was already murdered since episode 1 of season 1... Canon Callum is dead to me unless the writers somehow learn to love him I doubt he'll ever come back to life.

Seriously where is this boy in the canon writing huh? TELL ME WHY--

Favorite moment: nothing can top when he

touches the star symbol on the key of Aaravos. I was screaming so hard because for one this is the first time he's examined this cube thoroughly and somehow THIS was the symbol he chose to pause on while stroking it gently like NONE OF THE OTHER SYMBOLS GETS TOUCHED THIS WAY. Nothing else about his canon writing makes me feel any ounce of happiness.

He k n o w s

Idea for a story: Just 3 seasons of him running away with Aaravos and prove to LITERALLY EVERYONE that you don't need a love interest to be strong. You can be strong by yourself if you have a good heart and strong mind and to me that is the most valuable lesson to teach a person, regardless of their age.

Unpopular opinion: I don't wanna get brick and I feel like I sound like a broken record but he absolutely does not need romance to be his only defined trait. He is strong, he is kind and he can sure as hell turn the tables on Aaravos by himself and sway the man to becoming a good person. Also he does not need to be angsty, an understanding soft boy with unconventional masculinity is already built into his character I can't understand for the life of me WHY they did not choose this approach for his character development.

Favorite relationship: The one he has with Aaravos in my writing. I can't count on the canon to give them justice...

Favorite headcanon: He's a repressed gay lol He fidgets when he's nervous and involuntary hand gestures like clutching his scarf or clawing at his hand when he's stressed. ALSO TINY HAND GESTURE WHEN HE'S GIGGLING. The sign of a best boy in the making that they sadly didn't give it to him somehow :I

I mean look at him isn't he a cutie?

EDIT: This is by no means AN INDEPTH CRITIQUE as some people seems to think this is which--- I don't understand why would you think I can possibly break down his character within such short paragraph. This is just me, a rat bastard, loving my idiotic son very much and rambling about how I feel in general.

#ask jamie #about #callum #tdp #doodle #ask #the dragon prince #my art #a semi long ted talk #it's free license to draw my son like hell am i gonna pass this up lol #tdp callum #cally and aary are a package in my blog I can't talk about one without the other lol

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robo-cryptid · 1 year

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Yeehan for ship ask game?

What made you ship it?

Lol, honestly, I came across the fanart one day and went, "the fuck is this? WHY is this?" But I knew I'd find my answer in fanfic, so I went and read one and then another and then another and I basically drank the Yeehan koolaid.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

It hits a lot of my buttons. I love the mutual (sometimes shared, but independently arrived at) paths to redemption. I love the opportunity for enemies/rivals to lovers, or more often just kind of asshole vibes, lol, where they still "get" each other even if they don't always get along. I like that when it gets to the "lovers" portion it can be super intense and intimate. I like that there's something that feels deeply lonely about both of them, and I like coming up with ways to "fix" it both in an emotionally realistic sense and in absolute nonsense crackfic sense. But they're also just sort of funny to turn into absolute himbos? Idk, man. I think the real thing is that I trauma-bonded to them in 2018 and haven't been able to separate myself, lol.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Probably a lot, depending on who you ask, lol. They're verse? Idk what's unpopular these days, but I was reminded today that that one used to be. Also in general outside of crackfic and my stupid sense of humor, I'd rather read them with a little harshness to them than anything too fluffy (or harshness to them so that the fluff feels "earned" in some way, if that makes sense). I have a twee and/or whimsy threshold that is difficult to define but easily crossed. Also I just don't see parenthood as a happy ending for either of them, but that's probably my baggage. (But people should still do what they want. It's just my tastes, not a ruling on how fandom should behave.)

#ask meme #robo answers #anonymous

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theowritesfiction · 2 years

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'Zuko Alone'

Ah, this iconic episode. Again, this has been analyzed to death and thousands of metas written about it, I'm not going to get into it that deeply. I'm just putting down my gut reactions as I watch and award Jerk Points where necessary.

I suppose this is the episode that really drills in the idea that Zuko is now on his redemption arc. I'm not sure Zuko should deserve applause for not robbing a man and his pregnant wife, but baby steps I guess. (I really have to wonder how Zuko was not freaking out about his 'honor' when he stole Song's chocobo). Also, Zuko reveals having a sudden sense of dry humor? Maybe a chicken flew over? Boy's got hidden talents.

The meat of the chapter is obviously the flashbacks. The turtleduck pond scene between Zuko and Ursa is sweet. Is this where the Azula throws rocks at turtleducks myth comes from? But Zuko actually throws a whole loaf at the ducks and says that Azula FEEDS the ducks like that. He wouldn't say 'feed' if Azula threw rocks at them. Is it unthinkable that Azula would throw rocks at the ducks? No, it's not. But this isn't evidence for it.

aww cute little dangerous ladies :) they are so sweet. obviously, Azula is a rather mean spirited child, but we know and love her anyway. I love her scheming even at this young age. It's just fascinating the way her mind works, being aware of Mai's crush on Zuko, and creating an opportunity for a bit of a mean prank. I don't believe that Mai was in any danger here, Azula's firebending is too precise, and Mai shows absolutely no fear. She only freaks out when Zuko charges at her. Also, I love Ty Lee just finding the whole thing hilarious.

Ah, good old warmonger Iroh, cheerfully laughing about burning down Ba Sing Se. Let's see, 30 hypocrite points to Iroh. Extra 20 points for sending Azula that stupid doll, and another 10 points for enabling the whole stupid doll discourse. Azula wanting her dad to become the next Fire Lord is completely valid, what's wrong with Ursa for not supporting her husband and Zuko for not supporting his father? Don't you guys know how getting to the top in hereditary monarchy works? Read a history book.

I don't really have too much to say about Zuko's time with Lee and his family. Learning that doing the right thing can be difficult and thankless is an important step on Zuko's journey.

Azula and Zuko's reaction to Iroh abandoning the siege of Ba Sing Se was very interesting. Okay, 9 year old Azula is completely insensitive - big whoop she's 9 - but she's also completely right, and Iroh will be seen as a disgrace and a quitter in the eyes of the whole nation. I imagine that Azula's disrespect for Azulon comes from her being subjected to Ozai's fantasies about how he should be the Fire Lord. So when Ursa berates her and then asks 'what is wrong with that child?' my reaction is - SHE IS YOUR CHILD, you goddamn stupid cow, maybe you should find out? 150 Jerk Points to Ursa.

Ozai showcasing Azula's firebending talent to Azulon and being so proud of her and then frowning when Zuko attempts to impress his grandfather, yeah, top tier parenting is in full force. Just for this, 100 Jerk Points to Ozai. Also, Ursa telling Zuko how proud she is with him for trying, but not saying a word about Azula's flawless performance? Yeah, she's playing favorites too. 50 more Jerk Points.

I think I get why the fandom loves Azulon so much, it's because he acts so outraged about Ozai's suggestion to betray Iroh, and the fandom loves Iroh, so... Azulon is clearly a great guy, right? The great guy then decides that as punishment Ozai should also lose his firstborn son. (300 Jerk Points) Also, sure Azula is very mean spirited, but she IS warning Zuko about Azulon's intentions and telling the truth. She is probably even going against Ozai's wishes on this. But yeah, Azula ALWAYS lies, sure.

Ursa leaving is obviously a very traumatic and defining moment in Zuko's life, as he loses his greatest ally and supporter at the court. I like how for Zuko all the events of what happened behind the scenes still remain shrouded in mystery. Obviously, Azula is being a horrible mean gremlin to Zuko, but come on - it's a sibling rivalry, and Zuko has just lost his great defender. Of course Azula is enjoying what she thinks is her victory lap.

Obviously, this is one of the most lauded episodes in the entire show, and I can easily see why. I am somewhat surprised that Ozai earned fewer Jerk Points than I expected - but he is barely a character in this, he's more of a threatening, looming presence.

Also, this episode just made me realize how much I needed a similar look at the fire sibling childhood at the royal court, only from Azula's perspective. I think we would have gotten something like that if Book 4 had happened...

Jerk Points for Book 2:

Azulon - 300 Iroh - 210 Ursa, General Fong - 200 Zuko - 120 Ozai - 100 Aang, Bumi, Lao Beifong - 50 Sokka - 40 Pakku - 30

#my atla rewatch #atla book 2 #zuko alone

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haus-seeblick · 2 years

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Suptober Day 2! "The Perfect Pillow"

Rating: Teen and Up

Ship: (Pre-)Castiel/Dean Winchester

Tags: Literal Talk About Pillows, Early Seasons, Flirting (kind of), Dean Wants Comfort, Castiel Wants Dean Winchester to be Happy, Humor, Pining, Horny Dean Winchester, Hand Kink, Crack and Humor, this is silly, Sleepy Dean

Summary: Dean cannot get comfortable on this awful, lumpy motel pillow. Castiel senses his distress and arrives to help him out. He takes the task very seriously.

Read under the cut, or on ao3 here!

Dean huffs a grumpy sigh and wriggles around under the covers once again, trying to reposition himself in a way that doesn’t leave his neck aching. The damn lumpy pillow on this motel bed is the absolute worst kind — way too soft and way too thin, providing neither support nor comfort. It’s infuriating.

Sam doesn’t understand Dean’s choosiness about pillows. Whenever Dean grumbles about one, Sam points out that they spend most of their nights sleeping in a car that doesn’t even have headrests.

“That’s different,” Dean insists every time, though when Sam asks how, exactly, it’s different, Dean just sticks his tongue out at him. It’s way too much to explain that the Impala is home , and therefore the comfort is built in. It’s just a different kind of comfort. A motel has to work for it, starting with the pillow.

Dean swears and sits upright, seizing the pillow and folding it in half before flopping back down. It provides slightly more support, but it’s still far from ideal.

At least Sam is out tonight with that cute nurse they met while working the hospital haunting, so there’s no one around to judge him.

“Why are you restless, Dean?”

The gun is in Dean’s hands before his brain fully catches up, and the pillow flops to the floor as he sits bolt upright. The pale yellow light from the parking lot filters through the curtains, sketching out the shape of someone perched on the edge of his bed. Dean blinks.

“Cas?”

“Hello,” Castiel says calmly, not flinching at all as he stares down the barrel of Dean’s weapon.

Dean drags a hand over his face and lowers the gun. “Jesus, dude. You gotta stop doin’ this.”

Castiel tilts his head. “Visiting you?”

“Visiting me in the middle of the night, unannounced,” Dean says, tucking the gun away and leaning over the side of the bed to retrieve the limp pillow.

“I sensed your distress,” Castiel responds simply.

Dean grumpily fluffs the pillow and collapses back down. “I’m not in distress.”

“Your thoughts broadcasted otherwise.”

Apparently Dean’s thoughts are a dramatic bitch. He glares up at Cas, who’s really sitting too close. Not that Cas would pick up on that. Dean’s only known the weird angel for a few months, but it’s already abundantly clear that Castiel doesn’t understand normal human boundaries. Normal guy boundaries.

There’s a little pinging voice in the back of Dean’s mind, though, that points out that it doesn’t really matter this time, because they’re alone and who’s gonna see? No danger of anyone else noticing what Cas’ proximity does to Dean’s— well, everything.

“I’m fine,” he huffs. “So you can flap back off to whatever you were doin’.”

“I could help you sleep,” Castiel suggests, and Dean’s stupid, traitorous brain nearly melts at the unintended implication. He tugs the scratchy blanket all the way up around his shoulders.

“Thanks for the offer, man, but I can get my four hours on my own.” He prods at the pillow, scrunching it into a lump and burrowing his cheek into it. God, it’s awful.

“It appears you are uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, well, part of the lifestyle,” Dean grumbles. When Castiel doesn’t respond, Dean sighs. “The pillow just sucks, that’s all. I’ve had worse.”

The covers rustle as Castiel shifts slightly on the bed. Dean watches him surreptitiously through a cracked eyelid. Even in the dim, fuzzy light, his features are sharp and defined — cut cheekbones, that straight nose, those watchful eyes. Even his eyelashes stand out, long and dark, casting shadows of their own.

It’s rare that Dean lets himself just look.

Castiel observes the window thoughtfully for a moment, before gazing down at Dean. “What are the qualities of a pillow that doesn’t suck?”

Dean doesn’t even have to contemplate. He opens his eyes fully, rolling onto his back so he can face Cas. “It’s gotta have some thickness to it, y’know, enough to prop up your neck, but not so much that your head gets tilted up. And it has to be firm, but not hard. Like, take this one." He gestures at the monstrosity under his head, “It's way too soft and loose, so I gotta bunch it up.”

“May I?” Castiel asks, reaching out, and Dean raises an eyebrow but props himself up on his elbows enough for Castiel to be able to sink his — long, thick — fingers into the pillow right next to Dean’s cheek. He kneads the fabric, thumb almost brushing the side of Dean’s neck. A tingly smattering of goosebumps buzzes along Dean’s skin. He hastily sits up straighter.

Cas withdraws his hand shortly after. “I see,” he says. “I’ll be right back.” And with a whoosh, he’s gone.

“Uh.” Dean sits there, mouth slightly open, then shrugs. “Okay.” He lays back down and tries very hard to avoid thinking about strong, well defined fingers and broad palms. Headlights sweep across the dusty-yellow walls and ceiling as someone pulls up to the motel, and Dean hears a door slam and voices fade down the sidewalk in the direction of the office.

His neck still hurts, but he’s not even thinking about it. The prospect of Cas coming back makes him thrill as if he’s a horny, crushing teenager or something. It’s ridiculous.

Not two minutes pass before the curtains flutter with yet another whoosh, and Castiel stands in the middle of the motel room, arms wrapped around a bulging array of — pillows?

Dean sits up. “Dude, what did you do?”

“I brought you alternatives,” Castiel says, striding forward and unceremoniously dumping the bundle onto the bed at Dean’s feet. “I attempted to find pillows that matched your preferences in size and texture.”

Dean’s not sure whether to laugh or gawk, so he ends up doing a mixture of both and sounding like a choked sheep. Castiel regards him with concern.

“Sleep is important for humans, Dean,” he says, with all the air of a professor imparting vital, brand-new knowledge on a dim pupil.

“You got me there.” Dean holds out a hand. “Well, hit me. Let’s try these babies out.”

Castiel lifts one of the pillows and — Dean hardly sees it coming — smacks him in the face with it.

“What the fuck!”

“You told me to hit you,” Castiel responds, sounding perplexed. “I thought it was part of the comfort testing.”

Dean clutches the pillow to his chest. “It’s a figure of speech! I— Nevermind.” He squishes the pillow in his hands. “This one’s nice.” Nudging the shitty one off the bed, he floofs the new one until it looks ideal, then sinks his head down into it. Castiel walks around the bed until he’s standing right next to Dean’s face, staring down at him.

“What do you think?”

Dean can’t even bring himself to feel embarrassed by the proximity of Castiel’s crotch. His shoulders and neck melt into the pillow, even the muscles in his face relaxing. “’s amazing,” he nearly moans.

“Does it support your neck without tilting your head?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Is it firm enough without being hard?”

“So firm,” Dean sighs, already drifting.

“Dean. There are more pillows to sample.”

“This one’s a winner, buddy.”

“We need to assess all options before making our final decision,” Cas insists, and suddenly there’s an arm sliding under Dean’s shoulders and lifting his torso effortlessly. Dean jolts back online, eyes flying open to find Cas’ face just inches from his as the angel slides the pillow away and replaces it with another.

“Lie back down.”

Dean’s not sure he’s getting enough oxygen as Cas’ palm presses flat against his chest and guides him back onto the bed.

They test five more pillows, and Dean allows Cas to manhandle him more often than is strictly necessary, but sue him. There’s no one else around, and Cas is the one who started it. Might as well drum up some material for the spank bank.

In the end, Dean decides on Pillow #3, which really is the most comfortable item of bedding he has ever encountered. It cradles his neck and head like it was custom-made for him, and he feels sleep descending almost as soon as he sinks into it.

“Mmm. Heaven might be at war, but this was a good use of your time, Cas.”

“I agree,” Castiel rumbles from his perch on the edge of the bed. “It is a relief for me as well, to have the near-constant buzz of your discomfort assuaged.”

“Gee, way to make a guy feel special. You make me sound like a mosquito.”

“That was not my intention.” Castiel stands, and Dean watches him through his lashes. “I enjoy being in tune with your emotions. It’s— well, it’s more connected than I’ve felt to anything in my long existence.”

Dean’s not sure what to say to that, so he stays quiet.

“Sleep now, Dean.” Cas’ deep voice fills him, covers him, and he swears that he feels fingers brush his forehead as he drifts into unconsciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean wakes the next morning to a pain-free neck and a kink-free back, and if it weren’t for the lumpy, discarded pillow on the floor next to him, he would’ve thought that he dreamed the whole thing. He reverently packs his new pillow into his duffel bag before checking out of the motel.

Sam comments on his jaunty mood as they pull out of town later that morning, and Dean just shrugs.

“You had your visitor last night, I had mine.”

#suptober22 #destiel fanfic #crack fic #pillow talk #literally #dean winchester #castiel

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wiredalienvampire · 2 years

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OK so, my thoughts on the don't hug me I'm scared tv series (warning for spoilers)

I don't know how to fully organize them so I'll just start with my biggest thought

The characters (specifically the main 3) are much more fleshed out and have more defines personalities and while it's much different than the original series and was much different than I thought it would be I still love how they're characterized. They're assholes who share a brain cell but at the same time you get the idea that they still care about each other no matter how often they bicker and fight?? U know with how red guy interacts with yellow during the car scene when he was talking about living in a community in episode 5, yellow guy and red guy grieving over duck in episode 2, that one fucking scene when red guy and duck guy say they like looking at each other in 6...love wins/hj. Sure it's mainly the trio being assholes for the sake of comedy but idk those moments kinda tell me that they secretly care about one another. When it comes to the individual trio themselves they're wonderful, duck guy is this fussy unhinged chipper asshole and is the funniest character of this series,every time he yells or says something out of left field in episode 2, it always kills me I love him. Red guy is an absolute blorbo, he's much more different than he was in the YouTube series,he has more emotion and enthusiasm in his voice instead of being monotone and bored sounding which felt surreal to hear but I got used to it pretty quickly,its still deep and calm sounding but I don't mind the change, he has a similar wacky quirk to him like the other 2 characters but is still more of a middle man and is much nicer than them,he's pretty dorky,weirdly friendly and just really laid back and awkward,and I love him <3, I loved him in the YouTube series and I love him even more in the tv show. Yellow guy is an interesting case,he's kind of a punching bag when it comes to some of the shows jokes especially when it comes to the trio but hsi personality is much more close to his pilot counterpart, he's naive,innocent and child like but has a sense of edge to him like when he literally hit duck with broken glass the end of ep 4, he's also more blunt? I love him alot and his role in the 6th episode is something I think about alot.. if you know then u know..

Another thing I wanna talk about is pretty much the tone and changes the tv show has in contrast to the web series

This series is more focused on comedy with the banter between the cast and also the surreal humor being put up to 11 which is the best parts of the show, its much more fast paced and wacky which is super entertaining, it still had the horror from the original series and while I perfer the more eerie horror of the web show the tv show is amazingly terrifying,it's much more gory and you get this sense of dread when your further in the episode and it really makes you uncomfortable at points like the end of episode 5 or just the entirety of episode 2,like Roy being implied to have cannibalized the family in the end is genuinely scary like Jesus christ 😭. I appreciate how it kept the spirit of the show in general even if it's much different than its counterpart and it just feels like don't hug me I'm scared.

And I also wanna talk about the production value of the show and God is it amazing

I love the different art mediums the show uses,like 2d animation,stop motion, claymation,it makes the series much more unique and it's just so well done, the set design is great, and everyone looks so colorful it makes me so happy, off topic is but I love the references and fanservice the show gives like teacher cameos and references to iconic lines from the web show, like pesky bee, the old teachers like tony,Colin, the fucking lamp, and even the steak guy at one point,it's fun Easter eggs for fans while also being enjoyable for newcomers, everything looks so polished.

And last thing I wanna talk about is the story, like the original show,shit hits the fan during the later episodes but are hinted with the continuous shenanigans with the teachers, it starts getting real with episode 5 and I genuinely got really invested,wondering what will happen next and man the ending is something I won't stop thinking about aside from the scene with the gay puppets, I wanna know more about Lesley and how the whole thing shoe does works because she seems so interesting and I hope that they're would be more episodes so we could know more about her

So those are my thoughts on the series, tldr it's freaking wonderful and worth the 6 years of waiting,it might have alot of differences from the web series but there's something for fans like myself to enjoy! I loved it alot and I'm just so happy this show got to see the light of day <3

#dhmis spoilers #dhmis #dont hug me im scared #*ramble txt

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deltaruminations · 1 year

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here's a BUNCH of notes and thoughts spurred on by the info presented in molly's SURVEY_PROGRAM video. incredibly psyched to see where she takes this series…

i’ve mentioned this before, but my personal hypothesis re: gaster as mirror for the player — how far would someone go to get what they think is a “good” (or at least new) ending? how is a “good” ending defined? deltarune recreates the sense of attachment (“perverse sentimentality”?) players had to undertale’s world and makes it diegetic in the form of a character who is (possibly, though i’d say very likely) from deltarune’s world, one who has personal stakes in that universe and may be deeply sentimental about it, wanting to save it even at great cost, destroying himself, others, even entire timeline instances if necessary. gaster, like many players, saw One Ending to deltarune and said “surely that can’t be true.” he (along with players) may be tasked with finding resolution in what is possible within the available range of choices, and finding value in it; and/or, there may be messaging around the power of transformation (iterating on past works, as in fanfiction; note that undertale and deltarune are literally toby’s own AUs) to create new futures, if we put any stock in the framing of Gaster as a “rom hacker” of sorts (my stupid phrasing, not molly’s lol) — maybe it is possible to defy the will of deltarune’s absent clockmaker god. in some ways we’re already defying that will — would the weird route have been possible in the “base game?” would the tree man have been there? would we have gotten three SAVE slots without gaster’s custom menu DEVICE?

the menus, stats, etc. are incongruous between the light and dark worlds — values seem to be arbitrarily different, maybe measured on different scales. this makes sense if we consider the game “systems” to be fundamentally different; metaphorically (not necessarily in a literal, narrative sense), it’s like the two UIs represent games developed by two different people. the dark worlds are separate games nested into the light world. the light world’s UI matching undertale’s implies to me that undertale and deltarune’s universes (well, DR’s light world, anyway) exist on the same “level” of reality — that is, it seems to point against either one being a dark world, simulation, or other form of fiction within the universe of the other

which UIs did gaster actually make? gaster certainly created the out-of-game UI: the survey, chapter select, SAVE manipulation, etc., but what about the in-game menus? is either the light or dark world UI just a natural “fact”, and it’s simply that being outside of those layers of “reality” makes their UIs visible? at this point, i would guess that, yes, those UIs exist without intervention (that is, toby fox, the clockmaker god, made them along with the rest of the "base game," or natural universe) — it’s just that the characters themselves aren’t naturally aware of them. they were made for players, not characters.

just for fun: if we say that gaster did create the light world’s in-game UI, that brings up the absolutely buck wild implication that gaster also created undertale’s UI. there… might actually be some very meager “evidence” for that: a) “royal sciences, LLC” holds the trademark for both games, and b) undertale’s naming screen also wordlessly exits at the input of “GASTER.” i’m not sure how much i buy this right now and i also don’t think it actually matters too much but it is fun to think about lol

sort of related to the previous points, here’s a screenshot of the window text changes catalogued in the video — what does it mean that light world segments aren’t in Gaster Case? is there a significant pattern to when it goes dark?

(also DOGTARUNE in all caps lmaoooo. im telling you. gasty guy has a sense of humor)

this doesn’t come up in molly’s video, but it jogged this thought i had in discussion with my partner during his playthrough: the evolution in mechanics over the chapters mirrors iterative development; card kingdom introduces fight, pacify, and spare, but doesn’t implement recruiting. cyber world implements recruiting, and goes on to introduce an elements system. the mechanical role of this latter system in the chapter is very limited, but we’re teased about its greater importance in upcoming chapters. game development itself is, in a way, diegetic to deltarune, the dark worlds’ featuresets expanding as the characters engage with them (the characters metaphorically creating and transforming the fiction). i just think that’s Neat

THREAT level…. jesus christ. so gaster is tracking how many times we approach the act of eliminating a timeline, up to ten times within a given menu session. the more times we stand at that threshold (whether or not we cross), the higher the THREAT level climbs. what does it say to him about a player who’s willing to consider that action, over and over, as many as ten times in a sitting? we could argue that our very ability to toy with such an act of destruction, that we could destroy a timeline for reasons only we understand, is itself threatening — to Gaster, we’re basically a Great Old One. molly specifically interprets THREAT as tracking the number of times a player backs out from erasing a SAVE. through that lens, we could make the argument that not erasing the SAVE — considering it repeatedly, but ultimately choosing not to — is what’s threatening. as in, our attachment to a single timeline (which is to say, our progress on that SAVE file) poses some threat to his aims. if his goal is to achieve a better ending, by any means necessary, then it follows that he may need us to be willing to let go of (what he sees as) failed runs regardless of our attachment to them. while i do think gaster is deeply attached, maybe to a dangerous degree, to the universe as a whole, he may be less sentimental about those specific instances of it. they’re experiments, data-gathering excursions in pursuit of the golden path.

if shadow crystals in the dark world show the next highest layer of reality… then what does that mean for their behavior in the light world? is there another layer of reality above the one we see in-game, one in which susie glares, and kris’s hand seemingly… doesn't exist? there could be some insane implications to this and i’m not sure if i can handle trying to think it through right now lol but. yeah. fascinating.

also. PLACE_NAMING_JIKKEN… gaster knows japanese… like the narrator. lol

#$ 666 mystery man lore hell

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joyandeggs · 5 months

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KNOCK KNOCK IT ME!

I love the f/o descriptions asks so much! They’re super 🥰

You should do all of them!!! Gush to us about him 💕 he deserves it

I am slowly but surely making my way through my askbox that have asks from almost two years ago. ❤️‍🩹 These were difficult to write! I'm happy to finally have it done.

Describe your f/o’s eyes.

His eyes are full of emotion. You can tell how he's feeling from the way his eyes widen, scope, observe, soften. Despite his irises being rather small, they have the lightest, prettiest steel gray/pale blue to them, if you look close enough. His eyes may not look like much, but they are truly the loveliest thing about him. From looking into his eyes…you can see the emotion he truly shows through them, even if you can't read him well. He shows how good of a person he is through them, though it hides behind some fear.

Describe your f/o’s voice.

Shoot has a way of carrying himself handsomely, how his voice can always appear calm and collected. Sometimes, it can appear rough, a slightly stern tone to his voice with irritation or annoyance. Sometimes, it can appear melancholy, meek, or…almost silent, with a wide range of emotions. The sound of his voice is romantic, though it rarely changes from its lower, steady tone. Romantic in the sense that it is so nice to listen to. He could be saying anything, and I would listen to it for hours. Deep from his chest, speaking well and wise. I absolutely love his voice.

Describe your f/o’s hair.

Such long hair… Shoot's hair appears to be on the thinner side, but it is healthy and well taken care of. He's able to braid it so easily with rarely any tangles. It's one of Shoot's favorite things about him, actually! Even if he has to constantly get it out of his face, and ends up tying it in a ponytail anyway. It is a lovely color, though I never know how to properly name it by its particular shade. Whenever his hair is let loose from the braids and hair tie, it falls naturally down his back, framing his sharp features beautifully. He needs to do that more often. Shoot with his hair down is quite a sight.

Describe your f/o’s humor.

Shoot doesn't show much humor on his more relaxed, fun side. When he does, though, it really is a sight to see. Whenever he is comfortable around someone, he'll smile more, laugh more often, and it is so sweet. As far as his sense of humor goes, he does have a decent one. When a close friend or loved one does something that makes him laugh…or says something out of nowhere that catches him by surprise… That's his favorite. Inside jokes are fun, too.

Describe your f/o’s lips.

Plush, pouty, and thin lips… Shoot's are soft and sweet. Soft from the look of them, and sweet to see curled up in a smile. The way that you can just tell that they would be pleasant to kiss, or have against your skin. I can imagine Shoot wearing lip balm every once in a while to keep them from falling dry and chapped.

Describe your f/o’s arms.

Shoot, sadly, only has one good arm. His left arm is gone, only a shoulder still intact from his past injury. That does not mean that Shoot is anything less of a man, a highly ranked Hunter, by being disabled. He has done his best to take care of himself and his body, still to this day, and it definitely shows through all of the muscle he has. His forearm is actually quite soft, much like the rest of his body, and nice to the touch. His bicep is strong and defined, like all of his toned muscles, slightly weighted and thick. Both of his shoulders are the same, carrying the kindness and emotion in his heart on them, despite him trying so hard not to in order to be strong himself. Shoot's strength is not limited by his missing arm. That man could absolutely move mountains.

Describe your f/o’s hands.

Oh… Shoot's hands… His hands are lovely. Big, strong hands with long, slender fingers. A little rough and calloused by years of training and work as a Hunter. Always kept clean, down to the quick of his short fingernails. He miraculously has three left hands due to his Nen powers, which is always a sight. It helps him in battles as well as in everyday life. How else would he be able to do his hair like that every single day? I can only imagine what it would be like to hold Shoot's hand, have it against your skin, cupping your face tenderly… I love hands, and Shoot makes my attraction to them disgustingly worse.

Describe your f/o’s smile.

It's not often that Shoot smiles, but when he does, it truly is a sight. His thin, pouty lips curl into the softest of expressions, brightening his naturally serious and stoic features. He even has some dimples! Not big or pronounced, but they're there, and they're so cute. Shoot will smile more with people he is closer with, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't smile for a nice stranger or any acquaintance politely in passing. I think everyone can agree that he does need to smile more. He looks so good with one.

Describe your f/o’s hugs.

So…Shoot's hugs are a little tricky, only because of how tall he is. He would have to bend down a bit to hug someone as small as me (I'm only 5’!) Despite that, his hugs would be so comforting and warm, his embrace soothing as it absolutely incases me in his affections. Shoot would feel as if his hugs and his embrace weren't as good as other men's due to missing an arm, but he is absolutely wrong. Solely mistaken. It is the opposite of what he believes, and he should never say that about himself. He would tighten his arm around you firmly, only letting go whenever you needed him to. He genuinely longs for touch, closeness, and warmth from someone he is actually intimately close to and comfortable with.

Describe your f/o’s laugh.

Like with his smile, Shoot's laugh is also a rare thing to hear. When he does grace you with a small exhale or a light chuckle, it is the sweetest noise. It gets covered by his hand a majority of the time, he has a habit of covering his mouth if he laughs too loud or too much, though it only gets really loud if something really gets to him. Or if he gets to drinking. But at that point, he won't cover his mouth.

Describe your f/o’s stature.

Shoot is interesting when it comes to his height. Personally, I see him as being 6’3”, compared to Knuckle who looks as if he's 5’9” standing near him. He is quite tall. Pretty intimidating and possibly a little scary if looking down at someone. With his naturally kind, timid nature however, that is the exact opposite when it comes to people that he is close with. At least he could easily reach higher up places without using a step stool!

Describe your f/o’s movement.

He is fast, swift, and calculated with his movements during a mission and in the heat of battle. With years of training and working as a Hunter, he has grown to be one of the best in his line of work through just how quick he can be on his feet. When outside of work, Shoot walks calmly in stride, slow and steady, his long legs stepping lightly against the ground.

Describe your f/o’s legs.

Shoot's legs are always hidden underneath his long robe. They are strong, defined, weighted. One of his strongest assets that carries his body gracefully and well. He tends to wrap bandages around his thighs as he does his waist and torso, but it does not hide how thick and wide his pronounced muscle is. Sadly, he has a few leftover scars from his injuries during the end of the Palace Invasion.

Describe your f/o’s style.

This man's style is pretty unique. Shoot has an interesting way of dressing himself, as far as his usual outfit goes. His body wrapped in bandages underneath his long purple robe. His long hair braided from the hairline to the hair tie, falling in a side ponytail. Yellow earrings plugged in his earlobes, along with a small silver helix piercing and a long silver cuff on his left ear. He also has a tattoo of a red star on the cap of his left shoulder, with a gray chain link wrapped around the metal plate he has. From what I see of Shoot, he seems to enjoy fashion, jewelry, and tattoos, even if a little bit, regardless if he's never shown in regular clothes.

Describe anything else about your f/o.

When thinking about Shoot from a realistic perspective, there is evidence of him having anxiety and PTSD in some form. Regardless of how little or much of each, he definitely shows it through how he speaks, acts, and emotes. We don't know what his childhood was like, nor how his journey becoming a Hunter started. All we know is that at some point, Shoot lost his arm. That must have terrified him, regardless of when and how it happened. Being a disabled Hunter is probably rough on him, especially before he was able to conjure his Nen hands. And now, after his struggles during the Palace Invasion, it may trouble him more as he was very close to dying from his battle. With his anxiety, it is clear that Shoot has it. He is anxious, he shakes, sweats, overthinks. He stresses, hesitates. Shoot closes himself off and hides himself away, especially because he knows that he will get hurt, the fear of being hurt scaring him. Yet, in the heat of the moment, in a rush of gained confidence and adrenaline, he can get himself out of hiding. With his own strength, along with the encouragement from others, he can overcome (or subdue) his anxiety. Both of these things are a big part of him, but that definitely does not make Shoot weak by any means.

#askbox #reality-maybe #self ship #joy

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freetobeafcknriot · 2 years

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8, 12, 15 and 16? also hiiii fran!!! 💜

nali, my friend mi cariño stellina preziosa, hiiii!! ♡

8. What other identities are you, if any?

i identify as a menace >:) arospec, too! specifically demiromantic, because i feel like that term defines me very, very well. i'm not overly particular about the label in on itself though, so i often just go with aro as in the umbrella and call it a day. doesn't change how i know my soul craves and feels and nurtures all forns of love.

12. Dragons or cake ace?

i'm the looks like a cake-ace, is actually a dragon-ace type! absolutely, yes, dragon-ace here, hi! :)

15.Do you experience the ace obliviousness to innuendos or dirty jokes?

well, not when they come from me ngl. depends! my sense of humor is cheeky and quite blunt, so sometimes i am the one making innuendos before i can filter them out. nothing crude or anything, but it happens. vice versa sometimes i don't even notice them right away, but it depends on who i'm talking to, if we are in tune and all that, the mood, and how at ease i feel. because otherwise i'm like ??? oh. oh, were you... oh, you were. lol.

16. How do you feel about sex scenes/romantic plots/subplots in movies?

oh, tricky question. i mean, i don't care for any of that in general. it can be a big turn-off for me though, like, i'm literally there for a good plot, so if they try to sell it by shoving the main romance plot down my throat, i walk out. don't know if it's out of pettiness or exasperation, probably both, but i do.

side-plot or sub-plot, again, depends. because i do have ships, i'm not love-averse or anything, and if it's done right then chances are i'm going to appreciate it. but there are times when i just can't stand it in the long run, because i am, quite frankly, sick of the unconscious message that states that love (as in, romantic love) conquers it all; love is the ultimate goal and the best feeling in the world; love heals and it's powerful and it makes you whole; it's what happy endings are made of.

and i'm like, no. it's just boring, and it's false, and it almost always comes along with a shit-ton of heteronormativity, which is another can of worms i'm not about to open, but yeah. again, it's all about the writing at the end of the day. i think it is something rooted not only in my own experience (or lack, thereof) but also and above all in my perception of life and love. because i want to see it, sure, but i mean, come on, represent other forms of it. there are so many!

like, give us the self-love many of us have to learn by ourselves all through our lives and struggle with, that tenderness and patience directed at our inner child and every version of our own selves that only we have ever really, completely known. give us philia, that platonic affection and close bond and care between friends or siblings or families that are either by blood or by choice or by chance. give us pragma, born from adversities and all about compromises and patience and tolerance and camaraderie between people. give us storge, that familial love that refers to natural or instinctual affection. give us agape, for fuck's sake, give us the unconditional and selfless and infinite and absolutely rare love that knows no bound and no fixed connotation, that it can be tender or heartbreaking or ruthless or silent and thrives between souls. not just between man and woman or woman and woman or man and man, and not even just between humans.

i went on a rant but. yeah :') i swear i'm not against romcoms and have watched some myself, i just need a mojo and a break from time to time. and as for possible sex? i either skip them, go on my phone or tune them out. i can appreciate the aesthetics of the scene in on itself, and nudity doesn't really bother me as long as i don't see any flying eggplant (but then again given the kind of movies or tv series or anime that i watch, i hardly ever run into that kind of scene), but yeah. i much prefer to see cuddling, now that has me melting because i may be asexual but i am also one hell of a tactile and huggy person. sending you a hug if you managed to come this far btw.

ace ask game!

#asks #sorry i got a bit carried away i just...had to share. because i recently had a bit of a meltdown about it #on a lighter note the last answer can basically be summed by the practical example of me and my cousin (same age group) going to the cinema #and her being like. ''oh i want to see 50 sh4d3s of bl4ck'' and me going. ''omg look there's dumbo!'' and us ending up watching dumbo.#literally that is it lol

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