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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year

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Gig apps trap reverse centaurs in Skinner boxes

Enshittification is the process by which digital platforms devour themselves: first they dangle goodies in front of end users. Once users are locked in, the goodies are taken away and dangled before business customers who supply goods to the users. Once those business customers are stuck on the platform, the goodies are clawed away and showered on the platform’s shareholders:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

Enshittification isn’t just another way of saying “fraud” or “price gouging” or “wage theft.” Enshittification is intrinsically digital, because moving all those goodies around requires the flexibility that only comes with a digital businesses. Jeff Bezos, grocer, can’t rapidly change the price of eggs at Whole Foods without an army of kids with pricing guns on roller-skates. Jeff Bezos, grocer, can change the price of eggs on Amazon Fresh just by twiddling a knob on the service’s back-end.

Twiddling is the key to enshittification: rapidly adjusting prices, conditions and offers. As with any shell game, the quickness of the hand deceives the eye. Tech monopolists aren’t smarter than the Gilded Age sociopaths who monopolized rail or coal — they use the same tricks as those monsters of history, but they do them faster and with computers:

https://doctorow.medium.com/twiddler-1b5c9690cce6

If Rockefeller wanted to crush a freight company, he couldn’t just click a mouse and lay down a pipeline that ran on the same route, and then click another mouse to make it go away when he was done. When Bezos wants to bankrupt Diapers.com — a company that refused to sell itself to Amazon — he just moved a slider so that diapers on Amazon were being sold below cost. Amazon lost $100m over three months, diapers.com went bankrupt, and every investor learned that competing with Amazon was a losing bet:

https://slate.com/technology/2013/10/amazon-book-how-jeff-bezos-went-thermonuclear-on-diapers-com.html

That’s the power of twiddling — but twiddling cuts both ways. The same flexibility that digital businesses enjoy is hypothetically available to workers and users. The airlines pioneered twiddling ticket prices, and that naturally gave rise to countertwiddling, in the form of comparison shopping sites that scraped the airlines’ sites to predict when tickets would be cheapest:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/27/knob-jockeys/#bros-be-twiddlin

The airlines — like all abusive businesses — refused to tolerate this. They were allowed to touch their knobs as much as they wanted — indeed, they couldn’t stop touching those knobs — but when we tried to twiddle back, that was “felony contempt of business model,” and the airlines sued:

https://www.cnbc.com/2014/12/30/airline-sues-man-for-founding-a-cheap-flights-website.html

And sued:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/06/business/southwest-airlines-lawsuit-prices.html

Platforms don’t just hate it when end-users twiddle back — if anything they are even more aggressive when their business-users dare to twiddle. Take Para, an app that Doordash drivers used to get a peek at the wages offered for jobs before they accepted them — something that Doordash hid from its workers. Doordash ruthlessly attacked Para, saying that by letting drivers know how much they’d earn before they did the work, Para was violating the law:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/tech-rights-are-workers-rights-doordash-edition

Which law? Well, take your pick. The modern meaning of “IP” is “any law that lets me use the law to control my competitors, competition or customers.” Platforms use a mix of anticircumvention law, patent, copyright, contract, cybersecurity and other legal systems to weave together a thicket of rules that allow them to shut down rivals for their Felony Contempt of Business Model:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

Enshittification relies on unlimited twiddling (by platforms), and a general prohibition on countertwiddling (by platform users). Enshittification is a form of fishing, in which bait is dangled before different groups of users and then nimbly withdrawn when they lunge for it. Twiddling puts the suppleness into the enshittifier’s fishing-rod, and a ban on countertwiddling weighs down platform users so they’re always a bit too slow to catch the bait.

Nowhere do we see twiddling’s impact more than in the “gig economy,” where workers are misclassified as independent contractors and put to work for an app that scripts their every move to the finest degree. When an app is your boss, you work for an employer who docks your pay for violating rules that you aren’t allowed to know — and where your attempts to learn those rules are constantly frustrated by the endless back-end twiddling that changes the rules faster than you can learn them.

As with every question of technology, the issue isn’t twiddling per se — it’s who does the twiddling and who gets twiddled. A worker armed with digital tools can play gig work employers off each other and force them to bid up the price of their labor; they can form co-ops with other workers that auto-refuse jobs that don’t pay enough, and use digital tools to organize to shift power from bosses to workers:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/02/not-what-it-does/#who-it-does-it-to

Take “reverse centaurs.” In AI research, a “centaur” is a human assisted by a machine that does more than either could do on their own. For example, a chess master and a chess program can play a better game together than either could play separately. A reverse centaur is a machine assisted by a human, where the machine is in charge and the human is a meat-puppet.

Think of Amazon warehouse workers wearing haptic location-aware wristbands that buzz at them continuously dictating where their hands must be; or Amazon drivers whose eye-movements are continuously tracked in order to penalize drivers who look in the “wrong” direction:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/17/reverse-centaur/#reverse-centaur

The difference between a centaur and a reverse centaur is the difference between a machine that makes your life better and a machine that makes your life worse so that your boss gets richer. Reverse centaurism is the 21st Century’s answer to Taylorism, the pseudoscience that saw white-coated “experts” subject workers to humiliating choreography down to the smallest movement of your fingertip:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/21/great-taylors-ghost/#solidarity-or-bust

While reverse centaurism was born in warehouses and other company-owned facilities, gig work let it make the leap into workers’ homes and cars. The 21st century has seen a return to the cottage industry — a form of production that once saw workers labor far from their bosses and thus beyond their control — but shriven of the autonomy and dignity that working from home once afforded:

https://doctorow.medium.com/gig-work-is-the-opposite-of-steampunk-463e2730ef0d

The rise and rise of bossware — which allows for remote surveillance of workers in their homes and cars — has turned “work from home” into “live at work.” Reverse centaurs can now be chickenized — a term from labor economics that describes how poultry farmers, who sell their birds to one of three vast poultry processors who have divided up the country like the Pope dividing up the “New World,” are uniquely exploited:

https://onezero.medium.com/revenge-of-the-chickenized-reverse-centaurs-b2e8d5cda826

A chickenized reverse centaur has it rough: they must pay for the machines they use to make money for their bosses, they must obey the orders of the app that controls their work, and they are denied any of the protections that a traditional worker might enjoy, even as they are prohibited from deploying digital self-help measures that let them twiddle back to bargain for a better wage.

All of this sets the stage for a phenomenon called algorithmic wage discrimination, in which two workers doing the same job under the same conditions will see radically different payouts for that work. These payouts are continuously tweaked in the background by an algorithm that tries to predict the minimum sum a worker will accept to remain available without payment, to ensure sufficient workers to pick up jobs as they arise.

This phenomenon — and proposed policy and labor solutions to it — is expertly analyzed in “On Algorithmic Wage Discrimination,” a superb paper by UC Law San Franciscos Veena Dubal:

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4331080

Dubal uses empirical data and enthnographic accounts from Uber drivers and other gig workers to explain how endless, self-directed twiddling allows gig companies pay workers less and pay themselves more. As @[email protected] explains in his LA Times article on Dubal’s research, the goal of the payment algorithm is to guess how often a given driver needs to receive fair compensation in order to keep them driving when the payments are unfair:

https://www.latimes.com/business/technology/story/2023-04-11/algorithmic-wage-discrimination

The algorithm combines nonconsensual dossiers compiled on individual drivers with population-scale data to seek an equilibrium between keeping drivers waiting, unpaid, for a job; and how much a driver needs to be paid for an individual job, in order to keep that driver from clocking out and doing something else. @ Here’s how that works. Sergio Avedian, a writer for The Rideshare Guy, ran an experiment with two brothers who both drove for Uber; one drove a Tesla and drove intermittently, the other brother rented a hybrid sedan and drove frequently. Sitting side-by-side with the brothers, Avedian showed how the brother with the Tesla was offered more for every trip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UADTiL3S67I

Uber wants to lure intermittent drivers into becoming frequent drivers. Uber doesn’t pay for an oversupply of drivers, because it only pays drivers when they have a passenger in the car. Having drivers on call — but idle — is a way for Uber to shift the cost of maintaining a capacity cushion to its workers.

What’s more, what Uber charges customers is not based on how much it pays its workers. As Uber’s head of product explained: Uber uses “machine-learning techniques to estimate how much groups of customers are willing to shell out for a ride. Uber calculates riders’ propensity for paying a higher price for a particular route at a certain time of day. For instance, someone traveling from a wealthy neighborhood to another tony spot might be asked to pay more than another person heading to a poorer part of town, even if demand, traffic and distance are the same.”

https://qz.com/990131/uber-is-practicing-price-discrimination-economists-say-that-might-not-be-a-bad-thing/

Uber has historically described its business a pure supply-and-demand matching system, where a rush of demand for rides triggers surge pricing, which lures out drivers, which takes care of the demand. That’s not how it works today, and it’s unclear if it ever worked that way. Today, a driver who consults the rider version of the Uber app before accepting a job — to compare how much the rider is paying to how much they stand to earn — is booted off the app and denied further journeys.

Surging, instead, has become just another way to twiddle drivers. One of Dubal’s subjects, Derrick, describes how Uber uses fake surges to lure drivers to airports: “You go to the airport, once the lot get kind of full, then the surge go away.” Other drivers describe how they use groupchats to call out fake surges: “I’m in the Marina. It’s dead. Fake surge.”

That’s pure twiddling. Twiddling turns gamification into gamblification, where your labor buys you a spin on a roulette wheel in a rigged casino. As a driver called Melissa, who had doubled down on her availability to earn a $100 bonus awarded for clocking a certain number of rides, told Dubal, “When you get close to the bonus, the rides start trickling in more slowly…. And it makes sense. It’s really the type of shit that they can do when it’s okay to have a surplus labor force that is just sitting there that they don’t have to pay for.”

Wherever you find reverse-centaurs, you get this kind of gamblification, where the rules are twiddled continuously to make sure that the house always wins. As a contract driver Amazon reverse centaur told Lauren Gurley for Motherboard, “Amazon uses these cameras allegedly to make sure they have a safer driving workforce, but they’re actually using them not to pay delivery companies”:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/88npjv/amazons-ai-cameras-are-punishing-drivers-for-mistakes-they-didnt-make

Algorithmic wage discrimination is the robot overlord of our nightmares: its job is to relentlessly quest for vulnerabilities and exploit them. Drivers divide themselves into “ants” (drivers who take every job) and “pickers” (drivers who cherry-pick high-paying jobs). The algorithm’s job is ensuring that pickers get the plum assignments, not the ants, in the hopes of converting those pickers to app-dependent ants.

In my work on enshittification, I call this the “giant teddy bear” gambit. At every county fair, you’ll always spot some poor jerk carrying around a giant teddy-bear they “won” on the midway. But they didn’t win it — not by getting three balls in the peach-basket. Rather, the carny running the rigged game either chose not to operate the “scissor” that kicks balls out of the basket. Or, if the game is “honest” (that is, merely impossible to win, rather than gimmicked), the operator will make a too-good-to-refuse offer: “Get one ball in and I’ll give you this keychain. Win two keychains and I’ll let you trade them for this giant teddy bear.”

Carnies aren’t in the business of giving away giant teddy bears — rather, the gambit is an investment. Giving a mark a giant teddy bear to carry around the midway all day acts as a convincer, luring other marks to try to land three balls in the basket and win their own teddy bear.

In the same way, platforms like Uber distribute giant teddy bears to pickers, as a way of keeping the ants scurrying from job to job, and as a way of convincing the pickers to give up whatever work allows them to discriminate among Uber’s offers and hold out for the plum deals, whereupon then can be transmogrified into ants themselves.

Dubal describes the experience of Adil, a Syrian refugee who drives for Uber in the Bay Area. His colleagues are pickers, and showed him screenshots of how much they earned. Determined to get a share of that money, Adil became a model ant, driving two hours to San Francisco, driving three days straight, napping in his car, spending only one day per week with his family. The algorithm noticed that Adil needed the work, so it paid him less.

Adil responded the way the system predicted he would, by driving even more: “My friends they make it, so I keep going, maybe I can figure it out. It’s unsecure, and I don’t know how people they do it. I don’t know how I am doing it, but I have to. I mean, I don’t find another option. In a minute, if I find something else, oh man, I will be out immediately. I am a very patient person, that’s why I can continue.”

Another driver, Diego, told Dubal about how the winners of the giant teddy bears fell into the trap of thinking that they were “good at the app”: “Any time there’s some big shot getting high pay outs, they always shame everyone else and say you don’t know how to use the app. I think there’s secret PR campaigns going on that gives targeted payouts to select workers, and they just think it’s all them.”

That’s the power of twiddling: by hoarding all the flexibility offered by digital tools, the management at platforms can become centaurs, able to string along thousands of workers, while the workers are reverse-centaurs, puppeteered by the apps.

As the example of Adil shows, the algorithm doesn’t need to be very sophisticated in order to figure out which workers it can underpay. The system automates the kind of racial and gender discrimination that is formally illegal, but which is masked by the smokescreen of digitization. An employer who systematically paid women less than men, or Black people less than white people, would be liable to criminal and civil sanctions. But if an algorithm simply notices that people who have fewer job prospects drive more and will thus accept lower wages, that’s just “optimization,” not racism or sexism.

This is the key to understanding the AI hype bubble: when ghouls from multinational banks predict 13 trillion dollar markets for “AI,” what they mean is that digital tools will speed up the twiddling and other wage-suppression techniques to transfer $13T in value from workers and consumers to shareholders.

The American business lobby is relentlessly focused on the goal of reducing wages. That’s the force behind “free trade,” “right to work,” and other codewords for “paying workers less,” including “gig work.” Tech workers long saw themselves as above this fray, immune to labor exploitation because they worked for a noble profession that took care of its own.

But the epidemic of mass tech-worker layoffs, following on the heels of massive stock buybacks, has demonstrated that tech bosses are just like any other boss: willing to pay as little as they can get away with, and no more. Tech bosses are so comfortable with their market dominance and the lock-in of their customers that they are happy to turn out hundreds of thousands of skilled workers, convinced that the twiddling systems they’ve built are the kinds of self-licking ice-cream cones that are so simple even a manager can use them — no morlocks required.

The tech worker layoffs are best understood as an all-out war on tech worker morale, because that morale is the source of tech workers’ confidence and thus their demands for a larger share of the value generated by their labor. The current tech layoff template is very different from previous tech layoffs: today’s layoffs are taking place over a period of months, long after they are announced, and laid off tech worker is likely to be offered a months of paid post-layoff work, rather than severance. This means that tech workplaces are now haunted by the walking dead, workers who have been laid off but need to come into the office for months, even as the threat of layoffs looms over the heads of the workers who remain. As an old friend, recently laid off from Microsoft after decades of service, wrote to me, this is “a new arrow in the quiver of bringing tech workers to heel and ensuring that we’re properly thankful for the jobs we have (had?).”

Dubal is interested in more than analysis, she’s interested in action. She looks at the tactics already deployed by gig workers, who have not taken all this abuse lying down. Workers in the UK and EU organized through Worker Info Exchange and the App Drivers and Couriers Union have used the GDPR (the EU’s privacy law) to demand “algorithmic transparency,” as well as access to their data. In California, drivers hope to use similar provisions in the CCPA (a state privacy law) to do the same.

These efforts have borne fruit. When Cornell economists, led by Louis Hyman, published research (paid for by Uber) claiming that Uber drivers earned an average of $23/hour, it was data from these efforts that revealed the true average Uber driver’s wage was $9.74. Subsequent research in California found that Uber drivers’ wage fell to $6.22/hour after the passage of Prop 22, a worker misclassification law that gig companies spent $225m to pass, only to have the law struck down because of a careless drafting error:

https://www.latimes.com/california/newsletter/2021-08-23/proposition-22-lyft-uber-decision-essential-california

But Dubal is skeptical that data-coops and transparency will achieve transformative change and build real worker power. Knowing how the algorithm works is useful, but it doesn’t mean you can do anything about it, not least because the platform owners can keep touching their knobs, twiddling the payout schedule on their rigged slot-machines.

Data co-ops start from the proposition that “data extraction is an inevitable form of labor for which workers should be remunerated.” It makes on-the-job surveillance acceptable, provided that workers are compensated for the spying. But co-ops aren’t unions, and they don’t have the power to bargain for a fair price for that data, and coops themselves lack the vast resources — “to store, clean, and understand” — data.

Co-ops are also badly situated to understand the true value of the data that is extracted from their members: “Workers cannot know whether the data collected will, at the population level, violate the civil rights of others or amplifies their own social oppression.”

Instead, Dubal wants an outright, nonwaivable prohibition on algorithmic wage discrimination. Just make it illegal. If firms cannot use gambling mechanisms to control worker behavior through variable pay systems, they will have to find ways to maintain flexible workforces while paying their workforce predictable wages under an employment model. If a firm cannot manage wages through digitally-determined variable pay systems, then the firm is less likely to employ algorithmic management.”

In other words, rather than using market mechanisms too constrain platform twiddling, Dubal just wants to make certain kinds of twiddling illegal. This is a growing trend in legal scholarship. For example, the economist Ramsi Woodcock has proposed a ban on surge pricing as a per se violation of Section 1 of the Sherman Act:

https://ilr.law.uiowa.edu/print/volume-105-issue-4/the-efficient-queue-and-the-case-against-dynamic-pricing

Similarly, Dubal proposes that algorithmic wage discrimination violates another antitrust law: the Robinson-Patman Act, which “bans sellers from charging competing buyers different prices for the same commodity. Robinson-Patman enforcement was effectively halted under Reagan, kicking off a host of pathologies, like the rise of Walmart:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/27/walmarts-jackals/#cheater-sizes

I really liked Dubal’s legal reasoning and argument, and to it I would add a call to reinvigorate countertwiddling: reforming laws that get in the way of workers who want to reverse-engineer, spoof, and control the apps that currently control them. Adversarial interoperability (AKA competitive compatibility or comcom) is key tool for building worker power in an era of digital Taylorism:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/adversarial-interoperability

To see how that works, look to other jursidictions where workers have leapfrogged their European and American cousins, such as Indonesia, where gig workers and toolsmiths collaborate to make a whole suite of “tuyul apps,” which let them override the apps that gig companies expect them to use.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/07/08/tuyul-apps/#gojek

For example, ride-hailing companies won’t assign a train-station pickup to a driver unless they’re circling the station — which is incredibly dangerous during the congested moments after a train arrives. A tuyul app lets a driver park nearby and then spoof their phone’s GPS fix to the ridehailing company so that they appear to be right out front of the station.

In an ideal world, those workers would have a union, and be able to dictate the app’s functionality to their bosses. But workers shouldn’t have to wait for an ideal world: they don’t just need jam tomorrow — they need jam today. Tuyul apps, and apps like Para, which allow workers to extract more money under better working conditions, are a prelude to unionization and employer regulation, not a substitute for it.

Employers will not give workers one iota more power than they have to. Just look at the asymmetry between the regulation of union employees versus union busters. Under US law, employees of a union need to account for every single hour they work, every mile they drive, every location they visit, in public filings. Meanwhile, the union-busting industry — far larger and richer than unions — operate under a cloak of total secrecy, Workers aren’t even told which union busters their employers have hired — let alone get an accounting of how those union busters spend money, or how many of them are working undercover, pretending to be workers in order to sabotage the union.

Twiddling will only get an employer so far. Twiddling — like all “AI” — is based on analyzing the past to predict the future. The heuristics an algorithm creates to lure workers into their cars can’t account for rapid changes in the wider world, which is why companies who relied on “AI” scheduling apps (for example, to prevent their employees from logging enough hours to be entitled to benefits) were caught flatfooted by the Great Resignation.

Workers suddenly found themselves with bargaining power thanks to the departure of millions of workers — a mix of early retirees and workers who were killed or permanently disabled by covid — and they used that shortage to demand a larger share of the fruits of their labor. The outraged howls of the capital class at this development were telling: these companies are operated by the kinds of “capitalists” that MLK once identified, who want “socialism for the rich and rugged individualism for the poor.”

https://twitter.com/KaseyKlimes/status/821836823022354432/

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enmi-land · 30 days

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✶ৎ SMARTER BABY

📄 ────𝗂𝗍’𝗌 𝗇𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖺’𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗉𝗌 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝖾

2024 pairing. poly!ot7엔하 x fem!member oc cw. suggestive themes, profanity, mentions of alcohol, making out; hyung line-centric req. mila dancing to lsrfm ‘smart’ & engenes/enha reaction ❨ BACK to LIBRARY ?! ❩

“YOU LOOK PRETTY.” Riki wrapped his hands around Mila’s waist form behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder as he watched her apply lip gloss in the mirror. “What’s the occasion?”

Mila was usually the type to dress up, but today it seemed she put a bit more effort into her appearance than usual — not that he was complaining.

She wore a cropped long-sleeve wrap top that showed off the curve of her waist where his large hands rested on her bare skin, just above a chain that hung loosely her like a belt and was decorated by several charms that chimed whenever she moved. She wore a matching white wrap skirt with layers of chiffon that were arranged like flower petals around her waist and a pair of white platform sandals that would make the shorter members of the group cry with the added boost it gave to her already impressive height.

It just so happened that when she got back from he schedules for the day, Mila had been invited to film a challenge for Le Sserafim’s new song, ‘Smart’. “You would actually eat this up, not gonna lie,” was the exactly phrasing Yunjin had used— which, to be perfectly honest, Mila wouldn’t argue with.

So of course Mila had accepted the request, because what else was she supposed to do? Besides, she had already wanted to do one in the first place: the song was constantly on her mind from the moment it released, and had her wishing that she was able to do a similar concept in the future.

“I’m going to film a challenge today with the girls,” Mila replied to Riki’s question. She looked at Riki after applying her lip gloss, their noses brushing against each other. “How does this look? It’s a new one.”

Riki’s eyes flickered down to her lips, a deep hum reverberating in his chest. He leant down and stole a kiss from her sweet lips. Mila gasped before slapping the young man in the chest, causing his chuckled to bounce off the bathroom walls with her giggles. As Riki leaned away from her hand trying to clean the lip gloss from his mouth, he furrowed his eyebrows as he swiped his tongue across his plump lower lip.

“Oh- strawberries?” he muttered in fascination.

Mila laughed at the younger’s expression. “That’s not edible, you idiot. Don’t go eating it while I’m gone.”

“Gone where?” Mila and Riki turned to see Jungwon standing at the door of the bathroom, his arms over his chest as he looked between the two. If Mila had looked, she would have noticed the way the younger male’s eyes raked over her appreciated, taking in the way her clothes perfectly complimented her figure.

“A challenge,” Mila said. “It was last minute, but Le Sserafim wanted to do one for their new song.”

She gently patted Riki’s hands, signalling for him to let go. Jungwon tilted his head as he and Riki followed the girl like lost puppies when she ventured into the kitchen, grabbing her handbag from the table. They had been so eager when their eldest noona had gone to her boyfriend’s dorms and their hyungs (save Sunoo, who was currently with one of his many non-idol friends) decided spend the night out drinking, thinking that it meant more time to spend for them to spend with Mila. But apparently, that was too much to ask of their workaholic girlfriend.

“What song are you doing?” Jungwon asked. He pulled Mila to him by the hips, lips jutted in a small pout as he rubbed his thumb against the home of the skirt, only to blink in surprise when it got caught in her waist chain. His breath caught in his chest as he slipped his finger away from the cold metal, letting it fall back onto the soft skin of Mila’s stomach. “This looks nice on you…”

Jungwon’s thumb traced a light path over the chain, smirking when he observed the slightest flex in the muscles of her abdomen. “Thanks,” Mila whispered.

Riki, not one to be forgotten, quickly, stepped behind Mila and took a seat on the chair behind her. In one swift tug, he brought the woman down on his lap. He hugged her closely with his chest against her back and his arms wrapped around her.

“I think I can guess the song,” he whispered as he placed a chaste kiss on her neck. He smiled cheekily as he slipped a finger under the chain around her waist and playfully tugged on it, evoking the childlike imagery of a young boy who would pull a girl’s pigtails to get her attention. “This doesn’t look like something you’d wear for ‘Easy’.”

Mila smiled at the youngest’s astute observation. It was hard to imagine the woman wearing such feminine clothing for a hip hop choreography. “You’re right. I’m doing ‘Smart.’”

Mila couldn’t help but be amused at the frown on Jungwon’s face as he took a hold of her hand. He gave it a light squeeze when she asked what was wrong. “Just try not to make it too sexy,” he said sulkily, “we already have too many Engenes trying to steal you away.”

“Awww, don’t worry. They’d have to get your permission first.” Mila cooed as she cupped the boy’s face and brought it down for a kiss on the lips. Mila turned to give Riki a kiss, leaving sugary lipstick marks on both of their lips as a reminder of her affections. “I have to go soon, but don’t miss me too much! Once I get back, we can cuddle and watch movies, promise.”

The two maknaes agreed (albeit sulkily) to let their girlfriend go for the night, watching as she walked away in her cute little outfit, her long legs carrying her away faster than they could turn to each other and think, The hyungs are going to go crazy.

THEY DID INDEED GO CRAZY. They were on their second button of soju when Sunghoon had pulled out his phone to check a notification he had received, only to end up freezing completely when he had clicked on it. The last thing he expected was to be directed to a video of Mila swaying her hips sensually in a miniskirt and waist chain like some sort of hypnotic effect pendulum meant to put viewers under a spell.

“What the fuck?” Sunghoon muttered under his breath, unable to tear his eyes off the screen of his phone— because damn it, why was she looking like that?

“What is it?” Jake asked, leaning over his best friend’s shoulder. The Australian male almost fell off his chair when he saw what was on Sunghoon’s screen. Jake cursed as he spilled his drink over his lap, reaching for tissues to dry the damp soaked his jeans over his thigh. “Shit!”

“What even?” Jay asked as he watched the man, both he and Heeseung having been distracted from their conversation because of Jake’s outburst. That’s when they noticed what was happening.

Sunghoon was holding his phone so close to his face it might as well be glued there. The way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration only made the two eldest males look at each other in confusion. Jay leaned forward, trying to peek at the younger male’s screen. “What are you doing?”

Sunghoon showed them the screen with a blank expression, as if saying, Look. We leave her alone for five seconds and she pulls this shit.

And like Sunghoon, the two eldest male’s had a similar initial reaction of complete silence.

Her tongue peeked out from between her plump, glossy lips and her eyes held a sultry look in them as she trailed the movement of her own hips while she turned her back to the camera. She bundled the long strands of her hair in her hands and lifted it to reveal the expanse of her back and shoulders, that damned red tattoo inked on the back of her neck.

And where did they even get started on the way her skirt (despite not being nearly as short as the stuff her stylists put her in) managed to draw attention to the curve of her ass, beset by the pinch of her waist in a way that made it impossible to look away, especially with how her hips were moving to the song.

For a while, it was completely silent and all of the completely still. But when a pair of college students in the booth next to the boys had looked over and managed to throw a not-so-discrete appreciative glance of the video on Sunghoon’s phone, the Ice Prince hastily shut it off and shoved it into the pocket of his jeans. He took his glass of soju and emptied it in a single shot, throwing his head back with the aggressiveness of which he tipped the alcohol into his mouth.

“I’ll be back,” he said, before walking towards the exit of the restaurant like a man on a mission.

“What even?” Jay turned to watch the younger man leave. “Where are you going?”

Jake eyed his best friend for a moment. He quickly excused himself to go bathroom while Jay and Heeseung were distracted by Sunghoon’s sudden exit. Then he grabbed his phone from his pocket, his fingers typing a quick message after locating Mila’s phone contact.

You: i saw your new tiktok by the way

You: how come i didn’t get a warning?

Jake bit back a smile at his girlfriend’s reply.

Baby ❤️: surprise 😘

Jake almost fell off his chair when a Weverse notification followed her text, and he opened it to find a selfie of Mila in the outfit she wore during the TikTok. It was shot at a high angle and featured a very intentional focus on the low cut of her satin top, which dipped to reveal the slightest bit of cleavage and the tattoo that trail of stars tattooed from her left shoulder to her upper left breast. The caption: ‘Hope you like my gift~’

Fuck, Jake thought as he downed another drink. His girlfrien was going to be the end of him.

From across the table, Jay looked over Heeseung’s shoulder while the latter scrolled through the comments of the TikTok, thinking the exact same thing.

user1. HELLO?? MILANA?? BAI MINGLU?? 😭

user2. okay but why did mila have to go so hard on this

user3. GYAAATT DAYUM

user4. mila rlly be risking hip replacement surgery with those moves and i’m here for it 🙌🙌

Heeseung laughed at the last comment. He wouldn’t be lying if he hadn’t thought about just physically impossible it seemed that Mila could move the way that she did — especially when it came to her hip movements — and he got to see her dance almost everyday. He closed the comments to focus back on the video, eyes drinking in every detail and every movement.

“I’m smarter, baby, smarter~” Heeseung’s eyes drifted for he chain around her waist, watching the charms as they moved with ever sway of her hips, the way her skirt would accentuate her movements and lengthen her legs. There were two other girls in the frame with her — Kazuha and Yunjin — and yet his eyes remained on her the entire time. It was like the song was made for her, and yet she wasn’t even part of the group who sang it.

As Heeseung continue to smile down at his phone with pride and adoration, Jay turned his focus to his own phone, waiting the reply to the text he had sent Mila a few seconds ago.

You: make sure you get home safely ❤️

The reply came sooner than he would have thought.

천사 ❨ angel ❩ : is that all? nothing else? ☹️

Jay chuckled at her obvious attempt to coax praise from him.

You: get home safely first and then i’ll tell you anything you want

천사 ❨ angel ❩ : okay 💔

천사 ❨ angel ❩ : then i’ll rush home as soon as i’m finished here 💨

천사 ❨ angel ❩ : safely ofc

Jay smiled.

You: good girl ❤️

At that moment, Sunghoon appeared again, taking his seat next to Jake. Upon close inspection, one would notice the slight frown on his lips as he filled his glass again, silently speaking of what occurred while he was outside.

Sunghoon wasn’t going to admit that he had sulked about his girlfriend not inviting him to a private rehearsal of the ‘Smart’ choreography.

But, well, his members knew him well enough to infer that was what happened.

MILA KNEW HER BOYFRIENDS enough to know that by the time she got home, she was in for a mixture of sulking, praise and every other thing that lay in between those things. She had her phone to her ear as she unlocked the apartment, smiling as she spoke to Sunoo on the other end of the line, as the boy was yet to arrive home from his outing with his friends.

“You could have given us a warning before you sprung that on us,” Sunoo said. “I wasn’t mentally prepared.”

“Well, I didn’t know I was doing it either until a few hours ago.”

Sunoo laughed, followed by the sound of a car door opening. “What did I do to get such a sexy girlfriend? I think your hips are going to be the only thing in my mind for the next three days. You need to let me breathe before you pull something else like that again.”

Mila hummed. “I was thinking of doing an encore performance though,” she teased. “Maybe I should cover Yunjin-eonnie’s part on the floor?”

“Byeol-ah,” Sunoo said in a serious tone, causing Mila to pause on the middle of taking off her shoes. But his next words immediately erased any worry she might have had that something was wrong. “If you get on your knees in front of a camera, don’t expect the hyungs to be able to control themselves.”

Mila burst out into laughter. “And what about you? Are you included with the ‘hyungs’?”

There was a small silence before Sunoo replied, “You know I’d last longer than any of them.”

There was a sly undertone in Sunoo’s remark, as if he were both pointing out a known fact as well as proving a point. Mila’s face heated up at the suggestion — and yet, she couldn’t find it in her to deny it. Sunoo may not be as eager to show off as the others, but that didn’t mean he had nothing to show off if he wanted to… And, well, Mila would admit Sunoo was not as easy to drive insane as her other boyfriends were.

Speaking of the devil, Mila thought amusedly, when Heeseung appeared in front of her, arms wide for a hug. Mila laughed as she wrapped her arms around his middle, letting him hug her tightly to his chest and rocking their bodies back and forth. It was clear that he wasn’t fully sober. But Mila simply let him be, allowing the older to shower her in face with aggressive kisses and giggling when he bit her cheek.

“Mila is home,” Jay announced as he walked over to the duo, eyes warm with mirth as he looked Mila up and down. “You’re back now?”

Mila nodded. “Safely,” she said, reiterating their conversation through text earlier on. Jay smiled and stroked the top of her head.

“Good job today, you were perfect.”

Mila chirped a thank you in response, basking in the older male’s praises. At that moment, Sunghoon and Jake appeared from inside the shared bedroom of Sunoo, Sunghoon, Riki and Jungwon. Heeseung pulled away from Mila, allowing her to be swept away by Sunghoon who wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind and and pulled her to his chest.

“Finally,” he mumbled as he rested his cheek against hers. “Your TikTok filming took forever.”

Jake reached out to her waist, his eyes trained on the chain around her waist much like Jungwon had before Mila left. He didn’t say anything, simply admiring her while Sunghoon clung to her, seeking her affection. Mila giggled and kissed him on the lips. She only intended it to last for a second, but Sunghoon cupped her jaw, turning her head to him to grant him better access to her lips.

He swiped his tongue across her bottom lip, causing Mila to emit a small whine when he nibbled on the soft flesh with the point of his canine fangs. Sunghoon chuckled, before pulling back, unable to contain his amusement at her reactions.

“What was that for?” she protested. She looked at Heeseung. “Oppa, he bit me. Look.”

Heeseung chuckled. “Where? Let me see.” He tilted her chin up, his thumb brushing against her plush lower lip which jutted out as she pouted. Meanwhile, Sunghoon scoffed, lightly knocking away Heeseung’s hand. It just so happened that the door to the dorm opened, signalling Sunoo’s return from his outing.

“Oh, he’s back,” Sunghoon said. “I’m going to see if he bought the thing I asked from him.”

“Anyway,” Jay said with a smile, “Sunoo’s back now. Why don’t you get changed so we can watch a move together like you mentioned before? I’ll go get the movie set up.”

Heeseung followed him. “I’ll come with you.”

“Okay, then I’ll go get changed,” Mila said.”

Jake suddenly snapped out of his reverie, as if someone slapped him in the face. “Oh— wait a second… Why not wear it for a little longer? And you know… maybe even show us the dance again.”

Jake’s words caused Mila to burst out laughing. She playfully pushed him by the shoulder, but he chuckled his hand gripping her by the waist and pulling her with him as he staggered backwards.

“What?” Jake asked with a pout. “Don’t you love us anymore? Your poor boyfriends want to see you dance, is that too much to ask for?”

Mila rolled her eyes, pushing the male down onto the couch. “I doubt dancing is the only thing you want to see.” Mila smiled as she took a seat on Jake’s lap, her arms around his neck. She smiled sultry as she leaned into his ear, her lips brushing against his earlobe. “See if you can leave the movie early. I’ll show you then.”

Jake was almost embarrassed at how quickly he agreed. But then again, who was he to refuse? He had to play it smart.

BONUS SCENE. ‘WORK HARD IN SECRET’

“I’m smarter baby, smarter. Smarter baby, smarter.” Mila sang softly as she walked to her room, taking her earrings off along the way. She couldn’t wait to get changed into her pyjamas and cuddle with her boyfriends. She opened the door, only to jump in surprise when she saw Jungwon lying on her bed.

Mila laughed. “You scared me.” She walked to the bed and placed her earrings on the bedside table. “What are you doing in here? I thought you and Riki went to buy ice cream.”

They had texted her just as she was nearing the house that they went on a walk together, so she hadn’t expected to find Jungwon waiting for her inside her room. “We got back not long before you. Ni-ki went to shower and the hyungs were too loud so I decided to hide here until you got back.”

Mila hummed, not suspecting anything of the younger boy’s explanation. But she didn’t know the full story behind why Jungwon was here: in truth, since watching her TikTok challenge for ‘Smart,’ he already had a feeling that one of the hyungs would steal her away for the night. So naturally, he decided to get to her first, so that they could have alone time together.

But that was neither here nor there.

Jungwon sat up on Mila’s bed, watching as she removed the bracelet from her wrist. She began to reach for the clasp of their waist chain, only to be stopped by Jungwon’s hand reaching out to grasp hers. The woman raised a questioning brow as Jungwon pulled her towards him.

“Leave it on,” Jungwon said. He smiled as he pulled her in between his legs, his hands resting on her waist where the chain lay. “I like how it looks on you.”

Mila smiled, leaning towards him, so that her hands rested on his neck. They then smoothed their way down the breadth of his shoulders, reminding her of just how broad they were. “Yeah?”

Jungwon hummed deeply. “Especially when you were dancing.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, dark eyes taking in the sight of Mila before him. He was reminded of the way she moved when she danced, hips swaying rhythmically and effortlessly. His hands tightened around her waist, thumbs seeking the coolness of her chain. Mila smiled, endeared by his expressiveness. She leant down to place a soft kiss on his lips with the full intention of making it short and sweet.

But she was taken off guard when he suddenly hooked his hands behind her thighs and tugged her down on to his lap so that she straddled his waist, her skirt hiking up to expose more of her thighs and their bare skin to his touch. But despite her surprise, she didn’t fight him. Nor did she want to.

Mila could only surrender to the strength of his hold on her, knowing well she wouldn’t be able to escape — not that she wanted to anyway. She fully welcomed the possessive touch of his mouth as it devoured hers, lips locked in a passionate exchange of strawberry lip gloss and traces of vanilla ice cream.

Jungwon hummed when Mila’s nails scratched against his scalp and her slender fingers dragged their way through his hair, bringing his mouth closer to hers. At the same time, he pulled her even closer than before, his fingers massaging their way up her soft thighs and beneath her skirt, until the palms of his hand rested just underneath the curve of her ass.

He kept his hands there, using them to press Mila even closer against him, her soft breasts pressed against his firm chest and plush thighs bracketing both of his sturdy ones. The only barrier between them was their clothes. As his tongue swiped across her fleshy pout, licking the taste of strawberries clean from her lip, she mewled softly against his mouth, melting against him completely.

And later, when Mila left her room with a pair of swollen lips and a poorly hidden hickey, Jungwon’s hyungs were left wondering when their baby leader became such a cunning feline.

Perhaps, they thought, he was the real smart one here.

NOTE jokes on the hyung line, they got upstaged by one of their maknaes 🥴 but srsly jungwon is drelt becoming such a problem - like he turned 20 and chose violence… that man needs to stop 🫠 on another note it’s my first time writing smth this spicy for him since he became an adult last year, funny it took me this long to even write about him making out with know touching and stuff 😆

TAGLIST. @em1ejiee @menichoi

#◌ 🌸 ˴ milana bai . ˚◞ ★̶̲ ꒱#enhypen female oc #enhypen 8th member #enhypen added member #enhypen eight member #enhypen extra member #enhypen female member #enhypen fem oc #enhypen x oc #enhypen female addition #enhypen oc #enhypen addition #enhypen poly #kpop added member #kpop female addition #kpop female member #kpop oc #kpop female oc #kpop addition

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boldlyvoid · 1 year

Text

Sweet Nothing

Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Summary: Penelope made a friend on the internet over covid who just so happens to live in the same town Dr. Reid just got a new job... and playing Cupid is her favourite thing in the world

Warnings: strangers to lovers, meet cute, 40-year-old virgin Spencer, Virgin reader (late 20's/early 30's), picnics, food mention, lots of Taylor Swift references, first times, Spencer is on anti-depressants, oral sex fem receiving, multiple positions, multiple orgasms, sweet sex, lots of communication

Word Count: 12.6

Making friends on the internet was never easy… it always came with its own set of unique difficulties. People lie, anyone could be secretly crazy and when actions don’t really have consequences on the web, they can get crazier.

That being said, Y/N has recently made a wonderful friend in a woman named Penelope.

Penelope’s Tumblr page was pretty normal, very pink and vibrant and happy, but normal nonetheless. She’s in her early 40s, an internet veteran, an ex-employee at the FBI and known for creating a brand new, very safe, social media platform for young people. She was very easy to trust, very forward and easy to open up to as well, which made the two of them bond instantly.

And despite the age difference and the long distance, Y/N would consider Penelope to be her best friend.

She knew everything about her from her favourite colour to her hope and dreams and favourite singer… and also the fact she was a virgin well into her adult life and dying to get out there. They’ve spent most of their friendship discussing their equally awful dating lives, would-be lovers and almost hookups. Both women have tried time and time again to find love, however, nothing ever seemed to work out… until the day Penelope got an idea.

“I have a friend…” Penelope leads, something sinister in her eyes. “And he’s single and pretty cute, too…”

“Do you have a crush?” Y/N lights up thinking this is a happy moment for Penelope. “Oh my god, Penny tell me all about him!!”

“Well, no, actually… I want to set you up with him,” she explains further, in a much softer tone. “He’s so soft and sweet and a few years younger than me… and still a virgin.”

Her eyes grow impossibly wide and her jaw drops momentarily, “you’re kidding?”

“Nope.”

“Wow,” she takes a moment to soak it all in. She sits back in her chair and lets her shoulders drop as she thinks about it. And for once, Penelope is quiet too. “How much older than me is he?”

“He’s 41… which I know it’s a lot older than you but he’s what you’re looking for and you’d be so perfect for him. He’s so wonderful and he’s waited for so long to find someone who wouldn’t judge him and I know you’d love everything about him if I told you everything but I want you to meet him and find out for yourself… sorry, that was a lot.”

“No, no, that’s okay,” she actually loved when Penelope went on little rants like that. “I just don’t really have the funds to fly to Virginia right now—

“That’s another reason why he’s perfect for you, he’s moving to Reno next week!!!” Penelope can’t help but shake her hands with excitement while her voice raises at least a pitch if not 3.

“Is this the same friend who’s already from Nevada?” Her eyes light right up like a cat staring at a laser… she’s seen photos on Penelope’s personal Facebook, everything from selfies in new glasses to the parties with friends and throwbacks from working at the FBI… “doctor what’s-his-name?”

“Spencer, yeah oh my god? I can’t believe you remember him?” Penelope asks and she just shrugs, “See, this is why you’re perfect for Spencer, he talks a lot like I do, only about much smarter things but you’d be able to keep up.”

“I’d love that, actually,” she swoons, feeling slightly embarrassed about how the possibility of having a boyfriend makes her so giddy. “I’d love to listen to someone talk about what they love and just sit there and look at them…”

“Perfect, I tell you! Perfect!!” Penelope exaggerates, “he’s moving in a few days but all his things are already there. The department paid for his relocation and everything, I’m so surprised he actually decided to go this time, he’s been thinking about it forever.”

“Ask him if he wants some help unpacking when he does get here and I’d love to give him a hand,” she agrees fully, taking a leap of faith and seeing where this could go without the fear of the unknown weighing her down.

—

She shows up at Spencer's apartment 2 days after he arrives in Reno, a bottle of Welcome to the Neighbourhood sparkling cider and an assortment of muffins in her arms, thinking it would be quick and easy for him to take the muffins to work over the next few days, unlike a flower arrangement he didn’t need taking up space in his downsized apartment.

She takes a deep breath before she knocks, her knuckles are barely off the door when he opens it. She barely has a moment to prepare before she’s smacked with the realization that this man is very handsome and incredibly smart… and so, so intimidating.

“Hi,” he smiles at her. “Is that— you didn’t need to bring anything?”

She looks down at the basket she’s holding and then back up to see those beautiful brown eyes, “I know… sorry, um, Hi, welcome to the neighbourhood,” she hands him the basket with the best smile she can muster, slightly embarrassed to be so flustered by the mere sight of him.

“Thank you, come in,” he steps out of the doorway so she could walk in, he steps away from the door completely and sets the basket on a moving box. “Sorry, it’s a mess, the movers just put the boxes wherever they wanted, so I’ve been reorganizing where they were supposed to go,” Spencer explains, gesturing to the room around them.

“It’s okay, that’s why I’m here,” she’s cheery as she shuts the door and starts to take her coat off. “Can I just leave this over here?”

“Yeah, actually—“ he reaches for the closet door, “I found the box with hangers first so you could hang your coat when you got here.”

“She said you were a genius,” Y/N teases, holding her coat up so he could slip the hanger inside and hang it on the bar. She sets her purse down inside the closet too, just for safekeeping.

“I hope she hasn’t talked me up too much,” he’s honest with his fears. “I’m afraid I’m actually quite average, maybe tilted towards the strange side…”

She gives him another smile, but ultimately shakes her head, “Don’t worry, she didn’t tell me anything really personal. I only really know about you from stories she’s told me about her old job, but nothing in detail… I was just starting to get to know her when you were hospitalized before the pandemic and she was by your side a bunch so she wasn’t online and I was actually worried something happened to her 'cause she’s never that quiet.”

“Oh, yeah, that was awful,” he agrees, pressing his lips together awkwardly while he thinks about it. But then he takes a deep breath and his shoulders drop. “So I was thinking we could start in the kitchen? I’ve found most of the boxes.”

“Yeah, lead the way,” she says, following him through the front room to the living room that was connected to the kitchen by means of an archway. “Oh wow,” she muses aloud, “this is going to be nice to decorate…”

“You think?” He looks a mix of worried and confused, “I have no idea what to do with the place.”

“I’m sure once we start taking out all your things we’ll figure something out,” she knows she can make a room out of anything, it's how she decorates her classroom each September. Just with sheer will and pure hope.

“I had to downsize a lot to come here, I donated most of my books so I wouldn’t cost the department a fortune moving them out, but I still have a lot,” he shares, both proud and a little embarrassed that 50% of his boxes are for books. “I don’t have many personal things or decorations… I honestly wasn’t in my last place enough to make it feel homey.”

“You’ll be here often, though, right?” She asks, selfishly, she can already see them becoming somewhat good friends and she wants to be able to see him regularly.

He nods, “Yeah, I’m going to be working with the sex crimes unit, 9 to 5 every day unless there’s a big case,” he explains. “Like human trafficking or a pedophile ring or something, but I doubt I’ll see an overwhelming number of those right now, it’ll be nice to downsize to just a city instead of dealing with the entirety of The United States.”

“I have 4 different groups of teenagers that I teach, which is like 120 kids alone, I can’t imagine being principal and having a thousand kids to watch out for,” she can relate it back. “I’m sure this will be less stressful for you… still awful sometimes but—

“But I’m good with stress,” he assures her. “Especially this kind of stress. You know, when I first started at the BAU I had a co worker who transferred over from sex crimes in New York, she actually had a great time cause she got to kick some creeps ass every now and then.”

“Oh that’s cool, I guess,” she tries not to be jealous, knowing he’s probably had lots of meaningful relationships with women throughout his life, but that’s not going to stop him from getting to know her.

She grabs a box that says mugs and lifts it to the edge of the counter island instead of dwelling on these bubbling feelings for who is essentially, a stranger. “Which cupboard did you want the mugs to go in?”

“Uh,” he gets nervous then. “I have about 3 boxes of mugs… so wherever they fit?”

“Sounds good,” she can’t help but smile, it was cute. “Do you like to collect them or something?”

“Kinda,” he reaches into his pocket and takes out an exacto-knife, handing it to her so she can open the cardboard box. She pushes the knife out of its plastic sheath and starts to cut along the tape seam.

The first mug she pulls out is a pink octopus, “oh, this is so cute?”

“That’s Mildred,” he can’t help but smile, “I got that from Penelope on her last day at work.”

“Oh,” she holds it to her chest in a sweet hug. “I can’t wait for her to come and visit, I just know she gives amazing hugs.”

“Actually, she hugged me before I left and said that I was supposed to pass it along to you at some point…” he looks at her softly, slightly terrified. “Which is strange 'cause she knows I don’t like touching and we’ve never met before but for some reason, she knew I’d still want to hug you upon meeting you…”

She can’t help but laugh, placing the mug down on the counter, “is that an invitation?”

He nods, opening his arms and allowing her to step into his space. She wraps her arms around his middle and holds him close, feeling his large hands on her shoulder and upper back, his thumb lightly caressing the fabric of her shirt.

She stays there in the hug for a moment and then pulls back, “I’ll be sure to tell her that you passed that along.”

“Good,” he’s smiling like an idiot, bright red and flustered, falling head over heels for her already.

At least, the little voice in her head thinks so. Making her smile back at him with the same giddy hopefulness that she’s longed for most of her life.

—

He feels like the most awkward person in the whole fucking world. Hiding away in the living room to unbox something alone and give himself a moment of anxiety without having to play it cool in front of her any longer.

She’s pretty, she’s nice, she smells like honey and happiness and new beginnings… Penelope raved about her for days when she heard he was moving to Reno and now he can see why.

Y/N is amazing… it’s almost too good to be true.

She’s in his kitchen humming while she unpacks box after box of his dishes, moving around his new space like she was always meant to be here too. Like she’s a ghost or an extra piece of the pre-furnished listing. Like it was hers first.

He can’t quite place what song it is that she’s humming, but it’s nice. He wanders over to the archway and leans against it, watching her in admiration as she slides some more mugs to the back of a shelf. He knows he wants to ask her out for real. Not just as friends, not just for help or convenience but because his aura is drawn to hers and the colour they could make together has never been made before.

When she turns around to grab another mug she’s startled by his presence in the doorway, “gosh,” she gasps and places her hand on her chest to get over the initial shock. “What the heck, Spencer?”

“Sorry, it’s just…” he licks his lips and thinks it over before saying it, “It’s so nice to have you here… it feels right.”

“Oh,” she softens, he can see a weight lift off her shoulders and her eyes glimmer under the lights. “Thank you, thats the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me?”

“Would you want to go on a real date, tomorrow?” He can’t help but ask. “I know Penelope was hoping for us to date and I hate that she’s always right but, I would really like to go on a date with you.”

“Yeah, absolutely,” she makes her way around the counter and over to be closer to him. “I’d love that, what do you want to do?”

“Um,” he really didn’t think that far ahead… “can I surprise you?”

“Sure,” she gives him the sweetest, most hopeful smile that makes his heart swell.

“Is there anything you don’t like? Or are allergic to? Anything I should avoid?” He can’t help but ask. The last thing he wants is to surprise her with something that makes her distance herself from him. It’s happened too many times before.

She shakes her head, “not that I can think of?”

“Okay,” he smiles at her, stepping into her space more. “I found my Alexa that Penelope got me years ago, did you want me to put on that song you were humming?”

She looks like a dear in the headlights, she clearly forgot he could hear her when she was humming. “Oh, um… no? I don't think you’d like the song.”

“It sounded nice when you were humming?”

“It’s embarrassing…”

“What is it?”

She sighs and gives in, “Taylor Swift has this song that I listen to when I dream about the life I want and it’s been stuck in my head all day cause I’m in your kitchen… and the lyric is outside they’re pushing and shoving but you’re in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was Sweet Nothing…”

“That’s not embarrassing,” his heart swells. “Penelope is a matchmaker, has she ever told you about all the couples she created at the FBI? She’s responsible for 5 marriages and by proxy about 10 babies.”

“Wow,” Y/N’s a bit taken aback by that. “So you’re saying she’s like Cupid?”

He nods, “Or she’s able to see fate's design a lot better than us.”

“One hug? That’s all it took?” She teases him.

“A few mugs?” He teases right back.

“Hey, you can tell a lot about a person by what they hoard,” she bites back, trying not to smile too hard.

He just shakes his head and backs up, headed back to the living room with her in tow. “Hey Alexa, what’s the Taylor Swift song that says you’re in the kitchen humming.”

“That would be Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift on Midnights By Taylor Swift, released October—“ the British man's voice comes booming from the small speaker only to be cut off.

“Hey Alexa play Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift,” he orders with a smirk plastered to his face.

“Okay, here’s Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift on Amazon Music.”

Within the first few notes, he knows this is going to be their song. He extends his hand to her, silently asking her to dance even though he doesn’t really know how… and by design or some exquisite happenstance, she takes it.

With one hand in hers, his other hand lands on her hip while her extra hand is placed ever so gently on his shoulder. Chest to chest, eye to eye, they smile and sway along to the flow of the tune. Her hand squeezes around his own slightly tighter, the tune matches exactly how she was humming in his own kitchen and then he hears the lyric she mentioned.

They said the end is coming,

Everyone's up to something,

I find myself running home to your sweet nothings.

Outside, they're push and shoving,

You're in the kitchen humming,

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.

He spins her around making her laugh as she crashes back into his chest and holds him tighter. She wraps her arm around his middle and rests her chin on his shoulder. The music is loud, but his thoughts are louder. He wants everything this song mentions but with her. Only her. And it’s been only an hour and a bit that he’s known her. He doesn’t even really know her but he craves to.

“Do you write poems?” He asks after the song mentions them.

She shakes her head, “no, but I know you read a lot of them… do you write them too?”

He nods, “Sometimes… maybe I’ll make you one.”

“I’ll probably cry,” she admits.

Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors

And smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other

And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more"

To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it

She is soft-hearted. She’s sweet and kind and wonderful, too. She tilts her head to the side to rest against his own. Now cheek to cheek, he lets out a deep breath he didn’t even know he was holding. She hums along to the song, just soft enough for him to hear, not quite on key, but it’s endearing.

They’re quiet for the rest of the song and keep swaying, knowing it’s going to end soon and they’re going to have to pull away. They don’t want to… luckily the song is on a loop. It starts right back up and so they don’t pull away.

—

His place is still a mess when he gets ready to leave the next morning. After their dance, she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus on unpacking and he knew he’d be too tempted to hold her all night long… so she went home. He helped her into her coat, he hugged her goodbye and she left, taking a piece of his heart with her.

He’s not as used to Reno as he was with DC, but one look at the map and he was able to find the grocery store quite easily. He walks there because he opted not to bring his shitty car with him. He sold it with the promise of looking for a new one here in Nevada, but it was actually a lot nicer to walk in a sunny place like this. And on days when it’s not as nice, taxis exist for a reason. He really didn’t need a car, anymore.

He didn’t realize how much he missed Nevada until now.

He spent a lot of last night thinking about what he wanted to do for their date and came up with the splendid idea of a picnic. The first thing he did was call Penelope, it wasn’t too late for her back in DC, so he didn’t feel too bad, but he had to ask her some questions. He wanted everything to be perfect. She talked his ear off and then gave him an extensive list of the things she knows Y/N likes from past conversations, it turns out they’ve spent a bit of time talking about snack foods and it was finally coming in handy.

He comes back to his newly unpacked kitchen with bags of groceries, he prepares sandwiches on croissants and cuts up cheese and puts them on toothpicks with fancy slivers of meat… and he bought some new Tupperware so the meats and cheese can be in one and the fruit he bought can be in another. He bought her favourite drinks and some cute disposable cups to put them in because he didn’t have anything other than coffee mugs, which he was sure she wouldn’t mind, but he did.

He wanted this to be perfect for her.

All while he was packing their picnic basket, he listened to Taylor’s music, thanks to Penelope he had a playlist of her favourites to get himself caught up on them and ended up liking most of them himself. Especially one called Maroon. The lyrics are so powerfully written and wondrously sung, it’s as if a heart-stopping novel was put to music and all told within 3 minutes and 38 seconds. Taylor Swift is a genius, that much her lover got right in sweet nothing. What a mind, indeed.

Just a little past her apartment, there is a little park with a lovely field of flowers beside it. It’s a perfect spot for a picnic, so once he’s finished packing their picnic, he sets off on a walk to her apartment, thinking a walk to the park together would only add to the ambiance of the day.

He makes it to her place a little before 11, like he told her he would, and spends a few seconds in the hallway to catch his breath and fix his hair before he knocks. And when he does knock, it’s 3 times and he hits the wood pretty hard with his knuckles. Inside, it’s pretty quiet and then he hears her call out, “Just a sec!!”

He waits patiently for a minute or two and then she wipes the door open while putting in an earring, “Sorry, I didn’t realize what time it was.”

She’s breathtaking. She’s all dolled up and it’s all for him. He can’t believe it.

“That’s okay,” he manages to breathe out, leaving his mouth hung open as he stares.

She just smirks and reaches out for him, touching his chin and redirecting his jaw closed. “You don’t want to catch flies…”

He blushes, uncontrollably, and bows his head, bashful as ever. “Sorry, you just look beautiful… I’m not used to someone getting all dolled up for me.”

She lets out a huff of breath through her nose, settling all her nerves, her shoulders drop and she stares at him like he’s the only man in the whole world. “You’re so sweet, I almost can’t believe you’re real.”

“That feeling is mutual,” he assures her.

She finally looks down at his hands to see him holding a picnic basket. “Oh my god, are we going to have a picnic?” She lights right up.

He nods, “is that okay?”

“Okay? It’s perfect, Spencer!” She’s so excited and it’s real. She’s not playing it up or anything. She’s genuinely over the moon. “Let me just put on my shoes and grab my purse, you can wait in here.”

“Okay,” he steps inside and closes the door behind himself as she runs off into he bedroom.

It’s a small apartment. Her bedroom and bathroom are separate rooms, but the kitchen, living room and the washer and dryer are all exposed. She has it set up really nicely, it’s warm and inviting and happy and he could see himself making a home on her couch in the upcoming weeks of getting to know her. He couldn’t wait to learn about her favourite shows and movies and books. He wanted to hear all about her family and friends and co-workers, even her favourite students and the ones who irked her. He wanted to hear about it all. He wants to know her favourite colour and how she likes her pizza and her pasta and what her favourite baked good is. There’s an endless amount of personal things that he can learn, and he wants to know it all. He wants to love it all, too.

When she returns, she has her shoes on, her purse over her shoulder and a blanket draped over her forearm. “I don’t want to sit on the grass, and I didn’t think you fit a blanket in there…”

“Oh, shoot,” he looks down at the basket and realizes that was the one thing he forgot. “Yeah, we’re going to need that.”

“Thought so,” she smirks. She walks back over to the door and grabs her keys, “anything else you need?”

“Just you,” he replies without thinking it over.

“Stop being so sweet,” she nudges him, staring up at him like he hung the stars, himself.

“Or else?” He teases. It’s remarkable how easy it is with her. It just flows out of him like the script was already written between them.

She steps even closer into his space, “you get a kiss for every compliment,” she says, standing on her tip-toes, she presses her lips to his cheek for 1, 2, 3 seconds of pure bliss.

She drops back down to her normal height, a smirk plastered to her face, proud of the lipstick stain that’s almost as red as his blushing cheek. She reaches up to wipe it off but he pulls back, “don’t…” he’s adamant. “I want everyone to know you’re mine if you’re going out looking this beautiful beside me.”

“Okay then.”

—

Like a real man, Spencer insists on standing closer to the road as they walk along the sidewalk. A few moments into their walk, he transitions the basket to his right side so that his hand that’s closest to her is free and she notices it right away. She has draped the blanket over her left arm, leaving her right hand free… all but begging him to take it. But he’s shy and quiet and he doesn’t know how to just do it.

So she does.

She takes his hand in hers and interlocks their fingers, smiling up at him as they keep going forward, “have you ever been to this park?”

He shakes his head, “No… is it nice? The reviews online said it’s clean and there isn’t a lot of illegal activity there.”

She can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, it’s a nice park. Sometimes I hit up the bookstore down here and then I go read in the park. It’s nice in the summer when I have a week off between my regular job at the school and my summer job.”

“Summer job?”

She nods, “Mhm, you know, 'cause I only work at the high school when school is in session and I don’t make enough to take two whole months off so each summer I take a new job. Like last summer I worked at a daycare but the summer before that I was at a ladies' clothing store a few streets over.”

“What are you going to do this summer?” He asks, intrigued.

“I’m not sure yet… I’m still friends with some of the girls at the daycare so I might go back, but honestly, I’m also thinking of putting in my application for summer school and I might tutor some of the kids that need help graduating,” she explains. “Cause I know how hard it is to try your best and still just not get it. They shouldn’t be punished for having a hard time.”

“You sound like a wonderful teacher, I’m sure they’d really like to have you in the summer, too,” Spencer compliments. “I was always closest to the kids that didn’t do very well in school. It’s not that I pitted them or felt like I could improve them, I just liked who they were as people, more.”

“They’re lovely kids, they just get pushed to the side because they either learn differently or they can’t do the work at home for whatever reason. And they shouldn’t be punished for that, it’s not their fault that most kids nowadays have to work to help their families or become a second parent to help their younger siblings. They barely have the time to take care of themselves let alone do 5 hours of homework a night,” she rants, “I genuinely hate how the school system is currently.”

“My nephew is in high school currently and he isn’t having the best time,” Spencer shares. “He calls me for help on his math homework sometimes and it always floors me that even if he got to the right answer, if he didn’t follow the exact formula that the teacher uses then he gets a 0. There are many different ways to solve an equation, and as long as he shows his work it should count.”

“Exactly!” She raises her voice a little and startles a lady passing them. “It’s frustrating to watch them struggle with shit they’ll never use again unless they’re going into a math-dominated field. It’s not fair.”

“More kids need a teacher like you,” Spencer says, giving her hand a little squeeze.

“Why, thank you,” she gleams. “If we weren’t in the middle of the walkway I’d kiss you again…”

“The books store is just up here, you can kiss me in the aisles… if you really want to?” he kids, but not really. She can tell he wants another kiss from her.

So she drags him into the bookstore, they tell the worker that they’re just looking and perusing the store, calling out the titles they know and rating the backs of the ones that seem interesting until they’re in the back aisle. She turns to him with a smirk, “Are you gonna make me stand on my tip-toes every time, bean sprout?”

He smirks and places the picnic basket down on the floor so his hands are free, “I could just kiss you, instead, you know?”

“You wouldn’t be so bold?” She tempts, secretly hoping he will.

He tentatively reaches out, placing his beautifully soft hand on her cheek and caressing her skin with his thumb before he starts to lean in. She closes her eyes in anticipation, just mere seconds before their lips touch and like the big bang, universes were created in the pitch-black darkness behind her eyelids. Colours she’s never seen before, feelings she’s only read on pages that surround them, and a warmth in her chest that seems so foreign… yet so right.

He goes to pull away and she leans back in, dropping the blanket in the process to kiss him again and again until his tongue slips past her lips and it's more than just a kiss. It’s the start of something beautiful. Something more than Penelope ever thought possible when her two friends ended up in the same town at the same time.

They’re brought out of the moment by the sound of a woman clearing her throat, “You actually have to buy something you can’t just make out back here.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

“I’m so sorry!”

The two of them rush out with equally guilty mugs. She grabs the first book she see’s, “We’ll take this.”

“I’ll meet you at the register,” the keeper replies rather snidely and over it as she walks away.

Looking down at the book, it’s a poetry book by an author she’s never heard of before. “You know this one?”

Spencer shakes his head, “surprisingly, no.”

She picks up the blanket again, he grabs the basket and the two of them slowly make their way towards the cash. “Sorry, again,” Y/N says, pressing her lips together awkwardly. “I don’t know where that came from, we really just wanted a book for our picnic.”

“I’ve been in love before, I get it,” she waves it off with a growing smile. “This is a good choice… it’s only 6 dollars as well.”

“I’ve got it,” Spencer steps forward, taking his wallet out of his pocket and handing the woman two 5 dollar bills. “Do you take tips or donations?”

“Always, it keeps the lights on,” she’s happy to take the extra money, exchanging one of the 5’s for 4 1’s and placing them in a jar behind the desk. “Thank you, I hope to see you back here sometime.”

“Definitely, I’d love to have a real look next time,” Spencer teases as Y/N takes the book. He places his hand on her back, “thank you.”

“Have a good rest of your day,” she adds for good measure, following Spencer towards the door.

“You too! And enjoy your picnic!” The lady calls back just before they leave.

“God,” Y/N scolds herself, “I can’t believe that happened.”

“Spencer just laughs, “It’s not that embarrassing… believe me, I’ve walked in on much worse.”

“I can imagine, I mean, Penelope told me about some of your cases,” she says with the roll of her eyes. “I really don’t know how you did it for so long.”

“Honestly, me either,” he agrees with her there. “How much do you know about me? Because she never told me much about you and I’m worried we’re not on even playing grounds…”

“Oh, not much!” She tries to sound as believable as possible. “She basically told me you’re a genius, she loves you like a little brother and some little anecdotes like you were shot in the knee once and were on crutches for months and you wear a lot of purple which I’ve also seen in the Facebook photos she has of you… but nothing super personal.”

“Okay, that’s good then… cause she’s seen me at my worst,” Spencer admits as they make their way toward the park entrance

“She was basically big brother to you guys,” Y/N teases.

Spencer manages to laugh, “Yeah, she was.”

The gates to the park are open, there are children running about cheering with one another while their parents sit on the benches and talk, barely watching on. They pass everyone and head right back to the grassy area behind the playground, past the soccer fields and take cover under a baby Willow tree that still has lots of growing left to do, however, she’s still big enough to cast a good amount of shade on them.

She lays out the blanket perfectly and takes a seat while Spencer gets down on his knees, placing the picnic basket in front of himself. All while they’re still talking about Penelope. He takes out two plastic champagne flutes and hands them to her first, then he sets out the bubbly drink he got, followed by 4 Tupperware containers. “Speaking of which, I called her last night and she told me about your favourite snacks…”

“No way?” She can’t believe it.

He simply nods, a smirk growing, “It would seem you two love food.”

“Well, it’s always late when we call so she’s seen a lot of my nightly snacks,” She admits. “Is that? No way…” She takes one of the containers and opens it up to find little croissant sandwiches. “You want me to fall in love with you? Don’t you?”

He’s startled to hear it and she can’t believe she said it. It was forward and real and incredibly honest. But Spencer nods. Of course, he nods. “Yeah, I do.”

She looks at him like that 'I do' was the big one. The most important one. And to her, it’s almost more important. “Really?”

“I’ve spent most of my life completely alone, I’m tired… and I’m not settling, not at all, no,” he stutters out and worries he’s offended her. “I just mean, I like you, you’re wonderful already and everything I look for in a person and if you loved me I’d be the luckiest man in the world.”

“Wow,” she can’t believe it.

“Sorry—

“No, no,” she reaches out, dropping the container so she could touch his knee instead, “don’t, I’m just shocked, really…”

“Really?”

She nods, “Yeah, not many people have just openly told me that they like me let alone want me to love them?”

“Me either,” Spencer admits. He’s ready to lay his whole heart bare to her. “I really want someone to love me and if that someone was you then I could die happy.”

“Not on my watch,” she manages to smile. “My love means taking care of you. My love includes worrying and obsessing and making you entirely mine… it’s driven people away before we could even start anything real, I don’t want that to happen here.”

“It won’t,” Spencer is quick to reply. “It can’t drive me away, it’s exactly what I want… and I want to love you just the same.”

“You won’t have to try hard,” she teases, smiling up at him. “Come on, get comfortable, grab a sandwich and talk to me. Tell me about yourself and watch it happen.”

“Okay,” he follows her instructions.

He gets comfortable on the blanket, taking off his shoes so he can sit crisscross applesauce and he pours them each a glass of sparkling cider. “I’m sober,” he shares first. “I had some drug problems in my 20’s and I find if I avoid all substances, except coffee, then I won’t slip.”

“Wise man,” she compliments. “I don’t drink either, mostly cause drinking alone is sad and I don’t like how it makes me feel.”

“And I picked this pinky one cause of the line in Paris…” Spencer admits which makes her peak right up. “You know, fake wine makes believe it’s champagne…”

“Oh my god, you listened to Midnights?”

He nods, “I went back to listen to Sweet Nothing and thought why not?”

She can’t help but shake her head and smile, “That’s so cute, you have no idea how cool this is for me. No one I know really likes her, everyone acts too cool for Taylor Swift and then you come in and listen to her on your own accord? That’s— that’s everything to me, Spencer.”

“I think she’s amazing, well, so far, at least,” he admits. “I’ve only listened to the one album but it was a great album, I particularly enjoyed Maroon.”

“Her track 2’s are always my favourite,” Y/N raves. “She saves track 5 for her personal favourites or songs that mean the most to her, like on Red there’s this one called All Too Well and it’s originally 5 minutes but on the new recording of Red it’s 10 minutes and it’s so good. It’s insanely beautiful.”

“I can’t wait to listen to it,” he can’t help but smile. “I love listening to you talk about her, you glow.”

“Here,” she pulls out her phone and headphones from her purse and plugs them in. “We can listen to it now if you want?”

“Okay,” he agrees, taking an earbud and placing it in his ear while she moves closer to share the other.

And for 10 minutes they sit there in silence, she eats her sandwich and he listens to the words with the most admiration. The hurt is palpable, the passion is gut-wrenching… he loves it and she can tell from the look on his face. He’s so focused and enthralled. She feels a warmth in her chest that she hasn’t felt before, something in this moment is what makes her really love him. She isn’t just infatuated, he isn’t just cute and nice… he’s special.

“That was amazing—

“I never want to feel like that,” she whispers, staring at him intently. “don’t break my heart, please.”

“I don’t plan to?”

She lets out a deep breath she didn’t mean to hold, “I’ve never dated anyone before because I can’t go through the heartache. She made it seem so fucking awful I never want to feel it.”

“It’s awful,” he admits, all the hurt he’s experienced comes forth, pooling behind his eyes as tears form. “I was in love only once. She died before I could tell her.”

“Oh, Spencer, I’m so sorry,” she can’t believe it. “When?”

“In 2013.”

“Have you been single for 10 years?”

He nods, “Basically. I tried to date before the pandemic but she wasn’t really my type, it was more convenient so it didn’t last.”

“Oh.”

“This isn’t like that,” he assures. “You’re kind and beautiful and you have a normal job and you make people's lives better… you’ve made Penelope’s life better. You are sunshine—

“Do not call yourself midnight rain I will laugh,” she cuts him off, biting back a smirk.”

“I wasn’t,” he laughs too, “but it works here, too.”

“I’m not always sunny,” she adds, making sure he knows that.

“That’s okay,” he’s fine with it, really. “Even on gloomy days, the sun is just behind the clouds.”

She can’t believe he just said that. It’s so beautiful and kind and about her? It makes her just stare at him, mouth opening to say something but nothing comes out. She doesn’t know what to say. “Oh, man… I’m going to fall in love with you so quickly.”

“Me too,” Spencer smiles, reaching out to hold her hand. He grips it tight and doesn’t break eye contact with her, “and I’m excited about it.”

—

He only lives around the corner from her which means they see each other every day for the next week. They wake up at the same time, they get coffee before work, she drops him off at the police station and then she heads to the high school. After school, she goes and picks up something for dinner and he Ubers right to her apartment to eat. They talk well into the night, they listen to music, they watch documentaries and movies and they cuddle… she knows almost everything about him and he knows almost everything about her. He’s going to meet her family in the summer, hopefully, and she’s going to meet Diana in a few weeks.

Being together is the most fun she’s ever had in her entire life.

And while they’re not going on dates to get to know each other, they are dating and Penelope is happy about it for the most part. She’s just upset she lost her nightly chats with Y/N on Zoom. They barely even text now.

When Penny finally does get Y/N on the phone, however, it’s on a night that Spencer has an intense case in Reno. The BAU are back in town… 3 women have died this week, all online sex workers, they never walked the streets and yet that’s where they’ve ended up. It’s heartbreaking.

“I called him today during his break and he just sounded so defeated, it breaks my heart,” Y/N says with her hand over her chest and pleading eyes, “it’s too bad you’re not working with them again.”

“Their new tech guy is good,” Penelope assures her, “and he’s got JJ and Luke with him so he’s fine… he’s more than fine, he’s Spencer.”

She rolls her eyes playfully, “he is fine…”

“You guys really like each other?” Penelope digs, she wasn’t going to pry and press too many questions but she can’t help herself.

Y/N nods, “Yeah… I think I love him.”

“Really?” Penelope lights right up, “Oh my god?”

“I know! It’s been so nice, we were going to go on another date tonight but, you know, duty calls…”

“How many have you had so far?”

“Uh,” Y/N doesn’t really know. “Well, we unpacked boxes last Saturday and then on Sunday we went to the park and I’ve seen him every day this week…”

“I know,” Penelope pretends to be mad about it but she can’t stay fake mad for long. She loves them both too much. “I’ve missed you.”

“I miss you too, I just like cuddles with my boyfriend more…”

“Boyfriend?”

She nods, “Yeah, I think that’s what we are, I mean, we’ve already talked about what we want and he said he wants to fall in love with me so I think that makes us boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Spencer said that? Shy, nervous, Spencer Reid?” Penelope can’t believe it.

She can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, I guess that’s him… I don’t know, he’s a lot less shy with me.”

“Have you—

“No, no, not yet,” she waves her hands in front of the screen and looks panicked. “No. We haven’t even talked about it yet.”

“No?”

She shakes her head, “No… I mean, I want to and we’ve had some nice make-out sessions but we haven’t done anything more than kiss.”

“Wow,” Penelope is genuinely shocked. “I thought you would’ve jumped him by now.”

“Hey,” she says with a cheeky smile. “I have self-control… so does he, I guess cause he hasn’t even tried to cop a feel or anything, he’s super reserved.”

“Well yeah he’s spent 40 years being a virgin,” Penelope says without any malice, she’s just stating a fact. “He’s used to things not going there. I think you have to make the move.”

“I was thinking that too,” she doesn’t sound excited about it. “I’m just really scared even though I know I shouldn’t be when it’s Spencer. He’s going to be very sweet and he’s already told me he thinks I’m beautiful and I feel it around him… it’s just so nerve-wracking.”

“I was still a teenager when I had sex the first time and it was so scary, I wish I waited,” she really emphasizes Wish. “I wish I was mature and chose someone good and deserving and I wish he cared about me. But you have all those things right now, it’ll be worth it now.”

“I know,” she tries her hardest to believe her. “I know it’ll be okay… it’s just the anticipation feels more like anxiety.”

“Which is totally normal, but it’ll go away when it happens, believe me.”

“I do.”

—

Spencer's cause goes on another 4 days. She brings him coffee and donuts after work, she meets his friends and ex-collogues and she understands now why he had to get out of it all. Emily is just a few years older than him and fully grey, JJ sneaks out to make phone calls to her family who she doesn’t see as often as she wants and Luke is still single no matter how hard he tries. The job takes things from them.

She gives him a hug before she leaves each time, never a kiss, that would embarrass him in front of his new co-workers and his old ones would never let him live it down. So he gets just a hug. It’s long, they linger and then she goes home.

It’s weird being home without him now that he’s been there often. She misses him dearly, every day. All through the weekend, he works. And then the case ends on a Tuesday at 3 in the morning and stays up just for her. He buys them coffee, he walks to her place and he knocks on her door right at 6:30, 15 minutes after he knows her alarm has gone off.

She opens the door dazed and confused. “What are you doing here?”

“I missed my best friend.”

“Get in here,” she tugs him inside and makes him put the coffees down so she could have a proper welcome.

She cups his face in her hands and kisses him with so much force and passion, it startles him. But he kisses her back. He wraps her up in a big hug, bringing her in closer, he deepens the kiss with the swipe of his tongue and she pushes him back against her door. It’s as fiery as the first time, it’s better than the kiss in the bookstore, there’s so much more feeling in it now.

His hand roams up the flat of her back, over her shoulders and rests on the nape of her neck. His thumb caresses the skin under her ear, causing her to moan into the kiss and pull away, embarrassed. Her eyes go wide and she stutters on her way to find an excuse but Spencer just smiles, still caressing her, he brings his other hand up to cup her cheek, “It’s okay… you’re so cute.”

Her cheeks heat up and she feels bashful as all hell. “Shut up,” is all she can manage to say. “I’m still half asleep, I mean, you should be lucky I already brushed my teeth before you surprised me.”

“Mm,” Spencer hums, running his tongue over his teeth, “that’s why you’re so minty.”

She just pulls away and reaches for her coffee, “And now I can’t drink this until the minty-ness goes away, so thank you.”

“Should I go awa—

“No,” she rushes out. “No, you can stay. I can drive you home on my way to work.”

“Okay,” he can’t help but giggle a bit as he makes his way closer to her, reaching out for her waist. “You like me…”

“Shush!” She swats him away, “I have to get ready, don’t tempt me.”

“Just one more kiss? Come on, isn’t it the deal that I compliment you and you kiss me?” He begs. “You’re so beautiful and smart and lovely—

She steps closer to him and presses her lips right to his only to pull back just as fast. He cups her face in his hands and stops her from moving away too fast and peppers kisses to her lips. “Spence— Spencer!” She giggles while trying to pull away, “Seriously, I have to go to work!!”

“Fine,” Spencer sighs as he lets her go, only to pull her back in for one last kiss. “Okay, now you can go.”

She just laughs as she pulls away and heads back to her room, “Come on, you can sit in my room while I get ready.”

“Really?” He follows even though he doesn’t believe her.

“Why not?” She doesn’t see why it’s a big deal, “I’m just doing my makeup and then I have to pick an outfit and I’ll change in the bathroom?”

“Okay, yeah, sorry I just thought you meant you’d change in front of me and I didn’t think we were there yet?”

“Oh, no,” she agrees. Taking a seat at her little makeup desk, she turns to him. “When do you think we should be ready for something like that?”

“When do you want to?” He questions her right back.

She shrugs, “I don’t know… this Saturday is 2 weeks of us being together so, I mean, most couples start moving further around then?”

“We’re not most couples,” he reminds her.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Spencer hesitates, he looks a little nervous but he sits on the end of her bed anyway. “I’ve never had sex before… I’ve wanted to, I’ve tried.”

“I’ve never even tried,” she’s incredibly honest. “Making out is as far as I’ve gone with anyone.”

“Really?” He almost can’t believe it. “Why?”

She shrugs, “I’m over-emotional and incredibly soft. I can’t do one-night stands and I’ve never trusted anyone enough to experiment before.”

“Oh,” Spencer softens, “you feel safe with me?”

She nods, “Extremely.”

He gets up and wraps his arms around her, resting his cheek against the top of her head. She snuggles into him and holds onto one of his forearms, they both sigh. Completely content with one another.

—

They agreed to try and go further on Friday night. They both have weekends off, so they could spend the whole weekend together if they wanted to.

And when Friday comes, she isn’t nervous. It’s just a Friday.

She placed an order for Chinese food when she got home from work and texted Spencer right after so he could get it on his way over. It was closer to his place and convenient this way and he just liked to get it for them. And while he’s on his way, she takes the time to bring out some comfy blankets to put on the couch for their cuddles later and she lights some candles and turns on her fairy lights. Her whole living room is set in a soft, romantic mood with the hopes that they could do more than just cuddle tonight…

Spencer knocks 3 times to let her know it’s him and then he walks in, “Hey, so they ran out of spring rolls but they gave us egg rolls instead, is that cool?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” she doesn’t care, rushing over to the door she takes the bags from him and puts them on the table by the door instead.

He slips out of his shoes and puts them beside hers, then he takes his bag off and places it beside his shoes, next he takes off his coat and hangs it up. He even locks her front door for her, these are all things he’s used to doing after 2 weeks of visiting. She clears her throat when he takes too long to turn back to her, “excuse me, I’m waiting,” she teases.

“Sorry,” he steps closer to her and places his hand on her cheek as he leans in for his welcome home kiss. It’s a new tradition that she loves so much and clearly he does too as she can feel him smile through the kiss. He kisses her once, twice and a 3rd time just because he can, “there, happy?”

She shakes her head and cups both his cheeks, pulling him in for a longer, more passionate kiss. His hands go to her waist, holding her closer to his body, he wraps her up in a hug as well. She pulls back with an audible “mwah,” and a smile on her own face. “Now I’m happy.”

“You’re so cute,” he compliments. “I missed you so much today.”

“I missed you, handsome,” she compliments right back. “Um, I missed you so much I was wondering if maybe you’d want to stay over tonight?”

“Oh?” He’s only slightly surprised, “yeah, I’d like that… I just need to check my bag, hold on.”

“Okay?” She’s a little confused about why he has to, but she doesn’t ask any questions. She just watches him open up his satchel and search the pockets.

“Oh, good,” he says with relief in his voice as he pulls out a bottle of pills and his toothbrush. “I haven’t told you yet, but I’m on antidepressants… I take them every night before bed.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she says without a second thought. “Do they help?”

He nods, putting them back in his bag until later, “Yeah, I like them.”

“Good, now, come on,” she grabs the bag of food and makes her way over to the kitchen so she can start dishing everything out. “Did you check that they had everything?”

“You bet, after they forgot the red sauce last time I’m never not checking the bag again,” he says as he follows her.

They spend a few minutes in the kitchen as they fill their plates with a variety of food. Spencer opts for a fork while she uses the chopsticks provided in the bag and then they move back to the living room. They put their plates on the coffee table and sit down criss-cross apple sauce together on the floor in front of the couch. The remote is on Spencer's side of the table, and the TV is on and ready for them to pick a show, but instead, Spencer asks how her day went.

“Oh, it was okay with my juniors we worked on SAT prep and then with my 3 freshman classes we worked on their independent study unit and I’m now considered the cool teacher cause I let them listen to their music while they read,” she shares with a smile. “And then for my spare I filled in for Miss Tyndall, the arts teacher, so we watched a David Bowie doc while they all worked on different projects.”

“Sounds like a fun day,” Spencer loves to listen to her talk about it all. “You’d be my favourite teacher too.”

“I know,” she can’t help but smile. “How was your day?”

He shrugs, taking a forkful of fried rice, he covers his mouth with his hand while he talks, “It was okay, no one died so that’s a bonus.”

For the rest of their meal, they share little stories, about their day and things they heard on the news or on TikTok, funny anecdotes and memories from their separate pasts. It’s nice. She could listen to him all day and he felt the same. When their plates are empty, they both lean back against the couch and Spencer turns to stare at her with so much love in his eyes.

“I’m really enjoying my nights with you,” he shares, and in the silence, she feels it. But he says it anyway, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she says and a feeling of relief flows out of her in the form of a sigh. Her shoulders drop, and she looks over at him with a sweet smile, silent as they take in the moment. “I love you so much.”

He places his hand on top of hers, both of them are in too much of a food coma to move closer or kiss or anything. They just hold hands and stare at each other.

“I get it now,” she whispers. “I understand what she’s been singing about all these years… this feeling right here. It’s worth the heartbreak, I think.”

“I can’t tell the future, but I know I never want to leave you,” Spencer replies, voice equally as soft. “I want everything with you.”

Her heart starts to beat out of her chest but she knows she has to ask it. “Would you be my first?”

“Only if you’d be mine?”

She nods, tears bubbling behind her eyes, and she squeezes his hand. “I’d love nothing more… but I’m in a food coma right now.”

Spencer breaks out in a burst of historical laughter first, causing her to laugh just as hard and lean into his shoulder.

“Well, then it’s a good thing we have all weekend,” Spencer finally says, he wraps his arm around her and holds her close.

“Even if we don’t do it tonight, do you want to sleep in my bed with me?”

He nods against her, “Yeah… I’ve been thinking about that a lot actually. It’s really hard to leave here in the middle of the night knowing you’re sleeping alone in there when we were just cuddling right here,” he motions to the couch. “I want to wake up with you next to me every morning.”

The warmth that fills her stomach is a mixture of extreme happiness but also anxiety… it’s almost too good to be true. She pulls away and looks up at him with fearful eyes, “is it normal to fall in love this fast?” The words just tumble out of her.

Spencer shrugs, “I mean… I’ve always heard the saying ‘when you know, you know’ and I’ve read a lot about love at first sight and the way we pick our mates based on familiar facial structures that make us feel safe… and I’ve been in love before and I never met her—

“But I understand why you loved her, she was the only person in your life other than your mother to truly take care of you and listen…” Y/N cuts him off, remembering the night he told her all about Maeve.

“Yeah, and from the first day I met you, you’ve done the same,” Spencer reminds her. “You brought me muffins so that I’d have something to eat before work and you wanted to help me unpack and every day since you have cared for me more than anyone I know. Onto of that you’re beautiful and easy to talk to and you’re not only wonderful to me, but to everyone, you know. It wasn’t hard for me to love you, I’m just surprised you love me.”

“Why?”

“Well, for starters I’m a 42-year-old man who’s spent the last 20 years of my life hunting serial killers and I had a drug problem and I’ve killed people and I was in prison… you know everything and you still love me?” Spencer really can’t believe it.

“Mhm, I love you because despite all that shit that’s happened to you, you still have a sweet smile and a big heart and the best mind I know,” Y/N confirms everything he needed to know. “I love you because you’re you. There’s no other reason.”

He cups her cheek and looks at her with the softest expression known to man, “I’m going to love you forever.”

“Show me?” she whispers, pleading with her eyes to know just how much he loves her.

“Do we just leave our plates here?” He teases, going to stand up.

“I guess we can put them away,” she agrees, she moves to her knees and gathers up her own plate while Spencer does the same with his.

They meet again in the kitchen, placing both plates in her dishwasher, she turns to the leftovers and starts to pack them away while Spencer moves back over to his bag. He grabs his phone and something else while she’s not looking and he opens up Spotify. He doesn’t have many songs saved to his account, just some classical music and the most important song… Sweet Nothing.

She turns to him within milliseconds, “Spence?”

He places his phone on the counter and hands her a little rock, one he picked up on his walk over to see her before work last week. He never had the time to give it to her between all their kissing and her getting ready for work. “Here… it’s only May but I can get you another rock in July.”

She doesn’t want to speak or she’ll cry, but she manages to say: “okay,” as she takes it from him and steps into his space to dance again. In her kitchen this time…

She rests her head on his shoulder, his arms around her waist, they sway to the sound of the music and hold each other close. And then he kisses her shoulder and the side of her neck up to her ear. He cups her face in his hand and stares into her eyes, “bedroom?”

“Bedroom,” she agrees, taking his hand in hers, she leads him back into her room and turns on just the one table lamp she has beside her bed, “should we light candles and stuff?”

“Do you want to?”

She shrugs, “I don’t know, isn’t that what people do when they have special sex?”

“Special sex?”

“You know, first times, birthday sex, anniversary sex… emotional sex,” she redefines what she meant and surprisingly she isn’t embarrassed.

“Candles would be nice, then,” Spencer agrees with a smile. “Do you have condoms? Are you on the pill?”

She smirks, “I bought some condoms on Tuesday after work.”

He watches her open her bedside table and take out the box of condoms and a lighter, she hands him the condoms, “Here.”

“Thanks,” he reads them over, latex-free, real feel, they’d work perfectly.

While he’s reading over the box, she lights a few candles in her room and he takes a seat on the side of her bed, watching her. When she returns to him, she stands between his legs and rests her hands on his shoulders. “You’re sure?”

“Absolutely,” Spencer smiles up at her and reaches out to hold her hips. He plays with the hem of her shirt, “how do you want to do this?”

“Can we strip down to our underwear and get into bed and kiss for a bit and see where it goes?”

“Of course, yeah, that sounds good,” Spencer agrees, he pushes up her shirt and she lifts her arms to help. Spencer has to stand up to pull it all the way off and then he looks down at her in her bra. “wow…”

“Thanks,” she smirks, shaking her head as she reaches for his shirt to undo the buttons, “they’re just boobs…”

“Just boobs,” he repeats with a small chuckle. “I’ll have you know everything about you is spectacular.” And with a rush of confidence, he cups both breasts with his hands, he runs his thumbs over where her nipples are hidden under the fabric and she has to bite her lip so she doesn’t moan.

“Do you like that?”

She nods and pushes his shirt off his shoulders until it's discarded on the floor. “Yeah. I don’t think you’ve ever noticed but… your hands… I watch them when you talk and when you’re tracing a page as you read really fast and you use two fingers instead of one and I’ve wanted you to touch me from the moment I saw you.”

“Mmm,” he turns her around and motions for her to get on the bed and she moves quickly, she’s resting her head on the pillows when he’s suddenly hovering over her.

He runs his pointer finger from her chin, down her neck and between the crease of her breasts before cupping them both again and places kisses on her exposed chest. She arches into the contact and his hands follow both her arms until his fingers are interlocked with hers. Holding them over her head as he kisses her neck and shoulder.

“So beautiful,” he whispers, “how’d I get so lucky?”

“We have a great mutual friend, remember?” She teases,

He groans “Don’t mention her when I’m about to go down on you…” he says as he nibbles at her skin and it makes her moan, grinding her hips up against him, she wants him so bad but she still has her pants on. He sits on his knees between her spread legs and undoes the button as she lifts her hips, helping him glide them down her legs and off. He tosses them to the floor and goes right back in, gripping her by the hips he leans down and kisses her stomach… something she never thought any man would do.

He wants her just as bad as she wants him and it’s prevalent in the way his eyes are blown out as he looks up at her, pleading with his eyes, all he says is “Can I?” And she nods. He pulls her underwear down and tosses them off only to lift one and kiss from her ankle and all the way up to her knee and then he dips in closer, smothering her inner thigh with kisses and nips and then he sucks a deep purple mark into her skin, lapping over it with his tongue before blowing on it softly.

“Holy fuck,” she moans as he gets closer to her pussy and all she wants is his hands on her.

Almost like he reads her mind, he moves to the other leg and hurries along until he’s kissing right along where her underwear used to meet her thigh. Then, he spreads her pussy and licks a broad stripe along her cunt. He presses a kiss to her clit next as she bucks her hips into the sensation, “Oh my god, Spence?”

“Shh,” he whispers, looking up at her from between her legs like a man starved. “Just enjoy it, I’ve always wanted to do this.”

She’s so turned on from the teasing alone, and then he adds a finger, he gently circles it around her hole before inserting it slowly, seeing how much give she has before he takes it all. The feeling of his tongue on her is unlike anything she’s ever felt before, he’s soft yet rough and sweet yet disgusting with the noises he’s making. She can’t help reaching out and gripping his hair as her hips lift from the bed again. With only one free hand, he pushes her back down against the bed and she whines. When he adds a second finger, the stretch isn’t too much to handle, he’s so much better with his hands than she figured he’d be as he finger fucks her. His tongue on her clit and freehand trails from her hip up to grip her tit as he grinds against the mattress, he’s so into it she’s worried he might not get to really fuck her.

“Spencer,” she pants, “holy fuck Spence, please, oh my god,” she can barely make it through the sentence when his fingers curl and her legs tremble.

“Cum for me,” he growls against her and her body listens as she jolts forward and she feels the rush flow through her bloodstream.

“Oh!” she cups her breast and arches her back, oblivious to how he watches her while still lapping at her clit.

When it gets to be too much for her, she grips his hair tighter and pulls him off, “fuck me, now… please?”

“Is it an order or a suggestion,” he teases as he kisses back up her body with his glistening and wet lips, “well?”

“Please?” She looks at him with the sweetest, most fucked out expression. “That was amazing, baby.”

“Fuck,” he groans and drags himself off the bed so he can push his pants and boxers off in one fell swoop. Now, only in his mismatched socks, he doesn’t really have the time to take them off as he reaches for the abandoned box of condoms at the foot of her bed.

She watches contently as he hastily rips it open and rolls it on before he gets back on the bed. He gets right back to where he was, between her legs, he places his hands on her knees and soothes them down her inner thighs, “you sure?”

She nods, “I’m ready.”

“Okay,” he says with a deep breath, readying himself in the meantime, he grips himself at the base and pushes the head into her, inch by inch, he watches as her mouth opens in a silent gasp.

“My god…” he coos, “it’s like you were fuckin made for me.”

She’s speechless, reading out for more of him, she’s desperate for his touch. Her hands land on his hips, his skin is so soft and warm and then they’re flush together. He bottoms out and stills, he drops down so that they’re chest to chest and she cups his face instead, “Hi…”

“Hi,” he manages to laugh, holding himself up with one arm, his other hand pushes her hair back off her forehead and stays there. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she says as she pulls him in for a kiss, tasting herself on his tongue, he collapses onto her and wraps his arm around her, angling her hips up as he starts to thrust.

The kiss gets hungrier, and they moan into each other as he picks up the pace, really fucking her just like she asked him to. She has no idea where this side of him came from but she can’t explain how much she likes it, the hand that was once in her hair is now pushed into the pillow, bracing himself as he hovers and fucks her deeply.

She absentmindedly runs her hand along his forearm and takes his hands in hers, interlocking their fingers before he holds it over her head again and fucks into her with vigour. Her legs wrap around him, every trust grinds his pubic bone against her clit and she’s still so sensitive, she’s so incredibly close that all she can do is sloppily kiss him and moan into his mouth.

His hips snap faster and faster as he fucks her and she can’t hold back anymore when she tosses her head back and sucks him in more. “Oh my god,” and “Holy fuck,” is all she can say, making him smirk.

He’s trying his hardest to keep his composure, breathing quickly, it’s the best workout he’s ever had trying to keep the pace and please her right. “I might,” he says between pants, “I might last a while… cause my meds—

“I don’t care,” she uses her free hand to cup his cheek again, “I want to stay here forever, holy shit.”

“Yeah?”

She tosses her head back again, “Oh my god, yeah!”

He just laughs and it’s the sexiest thing she’s ever heard. She’s right there at the edge when he retrieves his hand from behind her back and rubs his thumb over her clit, “you can cum, if you want.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” she says, running her hand down his chest and looking between them to see what he’s doing, “I want to finish with you.”

His grip on the hand she’s holding gets tighter, he’s sweaty and losing stamina and nowhere close to being done. “Do you want to switch positions?” She asks, “It’s okay?”

“Can we?” He slows to a stop, “you’re okay with that?”

“Spence, I love you,” she reminds him, “It’s fine, it’s better than fine, actually… I’ve heard all my friends talk about dudes who last 5 seconds, this is more than I ever expected.”

“I’m just anxious, you can see why I take them,” he gets all blushy and bashful as he lets go of her hand, pulls out and sits back up on his knees.

She sits up too, taking her bra off in the process. She tosses it to the floor and his jaw drops when he sees her naked chest, “fuck..” He mumbles under his breath.

“Here, you sit up against the headboard,” she suggests, moving out of the way so he can take her place.

Once he’s settled she straddles his hips and takes his cock in her hand, angling it toward her entering as she sits upon it. Once he’s fully inside she drapes her arms around his shoulders and smiles at him, “We can do it this way… now you’ve got a face full of tits.”

His hands soothe down her bare back down to her hips, he licks his lips as he looks at them and helps her glide her body against his. “My god,” he all but moans, watching her boobs jiggle as she starts to really ride him.

“You’re so deep,” she moans, tossing her head back again to free up her neck, he pulls her in and kisses her from her shoulder up to her ear, lighting sucking at her earlobe, he brings his hand up to cup her cheek and ends up gripping her hair at the nape of her neck and pulling her to the side so he can messily smother her in kisses. “No marks, I have teenagers to teach, ‘member? They’re fucking ruthless.”

“Mhm,” he mumbles, too into it to really care, his other hand reaches down to thumb at her clit, he’s getting close and she wants to finish with him.

He finally does cup her face with the hand that was just in her hair, he caresses her cheek with his thumb, pulling her back in for a kiss that’s all tongue. She moans into his mouth, running her hands down his chest, she uses his as leverage to keep pushing back before grinding down on him, he’s right against her g-spot and so fucking deep she can feel him everywhere, “Spence,” she whines, pulling back from the kiss, “are you close?”

“Uh-huh,” he pulls her back in, kissing her deeper, he wraps both his arms around her back and lifts her up, laying her back against the bed and slams his hips into hers over and over.

Her back arches again and she opens her mouth in a silent moan, it’s so good she can barely breathe. She reaches out for him, gripping his biceps, he attacks her neck again, covering her in sloppy kisses and hot breath. His pelvic bone grinds against her clit, again and again, bringing her right to the edge again until she finally peaks, moaning, she arches her back as her orgasm rushes through her but he doesn’t stop. He fucks her through it, chasing his own high.

“Fuck, I love you, I love you so much,” he mumbles, through his last few thrusts, and then he stills with a groan, filling the condom, he drops down against her.

they’re a ball of limbs, holding each other so close she doesn’t know where she ends and he begins. He buries his face in her neck, still kissing her, she holds him tighter, “I love you so much, too, Spencer.”

taglist:

@reidsbookclub @samuel-de-champagne-problems @superskittles @thedancingcostumeyoungadult @midnightreids @ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129

#Spencer reid #Spencer reid smut #Spencer reid fanfiction #Spencer reid fanfic #Spencer reid imagine #Spencer reid x reader #Spencer reid x y/n #Spencer reid x you #Spencer reid self insert #Spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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silkscreaming · 3 months

Text

I made a volume 10 trimax vash cosplay for MAGfest and I am SO proud of how it came out :) Some process stuff below! Warning for image and text heavy.

Truthfully this cos is only about 85% complete—I’d purchased a bunch of hardware to really go in on a volume accurate version of his undersuit and belts, but simply ran out of time before the con. It was the first cosplay I’ve sewn since 2017 and the first wig styling I’ve done since 2020, so I’m not gonna beat myself up too much!

(This is all purse hardware off Etsy and some buttons from M&J trim)

This was my first time ever making a muslin mock-up, but I knew it was going to be necessary to get the coat to lay the way I wanted it to. I really wanted to try and create proportions that elongated the legs/torso and widened the shoulders by placing the coat tail splits appropriately and raising up the shoulders with some padding. And of course arm and leg details that I’ll get to someday lol.

I created two mock-ups. One of basic muslin that helped me go from an existing pre-bought pattern to something more Vash-shaped, then a second one on a slightly sturdier scrap fabric with my finalized torso proportions with padding so I could accurately pattern out the sleeves and collar.

I was tracing my pattern pieces onto newsprint and vellum as I went, so once all of those were finalized, it was time to cut my fabric! I used a heavy cotton twill from B&J fabrics and two kinds of fusible interfacing from Mood (I’m spoiled by being local to the fashion district these days). A smarter person would have bought a thinner fabric to line the inner torso with, but I did not feel like getting that complicated with my first ever muslin-drafted AND lined project, so I simply cut double of every pattern piece in order to create a lining.

Sleeves were done by interfacing and cutting into a top panel, carefully snipping at the cutout portions, ironing and fabritacking in place, and then top stitching the whole piece to the main sleeve. I later added some leather backing squares and interfacing behind the larger eyelets for aesthetic while keeping the ventilation in tact. Ideally in the future I'll also add a strip of fabric to the gun arm that creates a slight bunching effect since that sleeve is a little more ruffled over the cuff. Photos below also include three shoulder pads pinned together on each shoulder, but I ended up forgetting not using them on my final wear.

Unfortunately at this point I was approaching con time, so I started cutting some corners that I made easily replaceable for future upgrades. The coat tabs are just painted craft foam cut to the size of the buttons, tacked in place where the button pierces through the tab and where it wraps around the edge of the front panel. The straps that attach to the lapel and wrap under the arms also were just decorated with some silver trim instead of hardware, and I skipped the side button panels at his hips for pattern-making simplicity and time. They'll be added later! I'd also love to do some weathering, but don't think I can quite bring myself to riddle the coat tails with bullet holes as some people do haha.

Gun arm attachment was also a quick and dirty addition, just some vinyl trim on eva foam attached with contact cement and a decorative button. First time working with contact cement somehow, but I look forward to also being able to upgrade this at a later date to a more accurate shape with the full belt attachments!

I was also hoping to update the shoes a bit by making some boot covers for them and rub-n-buffing the soles to disguise the platform a bit, but I love my pick for the cleat-look that Vash has! Some good ol' Demonias in classic vash fashion :)

Last but not least: The Wig. My pride and joy.

I got lucky enough to nab an Arda sale, I think right before Halloween, and picked up the Morpheus lace front in black, along with some extra wefts in pale blonde. (I also bought a whole separate pale blonde Morpheus wig, boldly thinking I could swing a normal trimax vash wig lol. It made for a convenient Eriks wig in the mean time.)

Since I was aiming for the end of volume 10 post-Wolfwood death look, I started by trying on the wig, roughly tracing out my hairline, then gently unweaving that portion of black in order to re-ventilate it with blonde.

After I replaced that whole strip of plucked hair, I tried on again to finalize where I needed to ventilate to cover my own hairline, and completed my outline with both blonde and brown-black wefts (i had them on hand lol). All in all, I ventilated more than 4 square inches of blonde, and at least a solid centimeter extension of the black hairline across the whole front of the wig. Probably close to 30 hours of work in the ventilating alone, but I am a little slow since I haven't ventilated in a few years and didn't keep clear track of time.

If there's one thing I should be used to by now about Arda wigs, they are THICK. There is zero teasing in this wig. None. Just got2b, a blowdryer, and a prayer. And a good load of bobby pins. The wig was also sadly a last minute hotel room mad dash, and I do hope to restyle it under less duress, but I do think I successfully achieved the Trimax swoop and am very proud of it! It was unbelievably windy on the walk from our hotel room to MAGfest, so the photos in the start of this post show a bit more droop than my initial styling, but I think I'll be able to touch things up next wear.

And of course, shoutout to my partner for gifting me the official glasses for Christmas :) And thank you to my roommates who barely saw me for a month and a half except for when I needed help with a hem lol.

All in all, I am unbelievably proud of this cosplay, I can't wait to put some more love into it and wear it again!

#cosplay #trigun cosplay #magfest

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theemporium · 10 months

Note

Idk if this is how I send a request or not but a blurb for Remus Lupin and Potter! Reader about anything!

thank you for requesting!🖤

“C’mon, love, gotta get you to bed.”

When it came to the Potter children, for most things in life they couldn’t have been more different from each other. Whether it was when they were toddlers or children or teenagers, they always had personalities that seemed like such opposites from each other.

James was outspoken and loud, you were more timid and quiet. James was bubbly and happy, you tended to lean a bit more on the grumpy side. James exceeded particularly well in sports, you were smarter than anyone could comprehend.

Small differences that made you different.

But if there was one thing you shared with your brother, it was your inability to know your own alcohol tolerance.

It was summer and with no responsibilities or duties in sight, it wasn’t rare for the group to find themselves in a pub in the evening. They would laugh and sing and joke and dance and drink. They would drink a lot and it just so happened to be another night where you ignored your limit and went three drinks over.

Now Remus, being the ever-loving and ever-caring boyfriend he was, was trying to wrangle you into bed.

Unfortunately for him, you were nowhere near the tired stage of being drunk. You were hyper and giggly and you just wanted to love your man.

“You’re so pretty,” you giggled as you stared up at your boyfriend, wide eyes eager to take in every single feature you could. “Like, so pretty.”

His lips twitched as he placed his hands on your waist, guiding you through the front door of the Potter Manor. “Thank you, love, you’re pretty too,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

Your cheeks flushed under the compliment with a massive grin on your face. “You’re so nice to me, baby.”

“Did you think I was ever gonna be mean to you?” he asked, his brows raised in amusement.

“You’re mean when you don’t let me come,” you told him with a pout.

Remus snorted. “Let’s get you into bed before you give your father a heart attack, darling.”

As it turns out, wrangling you back to your room was much more difficult than he assumed when you had decided to wear massive heeled platforms out to the bar. Without a second thought, he placed one arm under your knees and the other on your back before he lifted you, bridal style.

“You’re so strong,” you sighed lovingly as you placed your head into the crook of his neck.

“Thanks, love,” he murmured with a smile.

With a little more carrying and kisses used as bribes, Remus had managed to get you into your bathroom, letting you guide him through your routine before he carried you to your room. He helped you undress, lightly pinching your side when you made a comment about getting into bed with him and pouting when he said not tonight. He helped you into one of his shirts after you demanded it before he finally got you in bed, curled on his chest and happily tucked into his side.

“I love you,” you sighed, your words slightly cut off by your own yawn.

Remus kissed the top of your head. “I love you too, love.”

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onlycosmere · 2 months

Text

REGARDING AUDIBLE

Brandon Sanderson: Hey, all. Brandon here, with what I consider to be some pretty exciting news. Many of you may remember when I wrote last year about my worries regarding audiobook royalties (particularly for independent authors). You can read it HERE, but some of the main bullet points are as follows:

I seriously worried about the opacity of reporting to authors about audio sales. We didn’t know what a sale meant, how much of an Audible credit was given to authors when a book sold via one, and how royalties were being accounted.

I felt that the industry was taking advantage of authors because of their lack of powerful corporate interests to advocate for them. While video game creators and musicians get 70–80% (88%, in fact, on two major platforms) of a sale of their products in a digital platform, Audible was paying as low as 25%–with the high end being instead 40%.

I felt I could have gotten a better deal for myself, but the entire state of this industry was seriously concerning to me. So, I made the difficult decision NOT to release the four Secret Projects on Audible, costing me a large number of sales, to instead try to bolster healthy competition in the space, highlighting some of the smaller Audible competitors.

I hoped this wake-up call would prompt change. I didn’t refuse to put my books on Audible out of retribution or to declare war; I did it because I wanted to shine as powerful a light as I knew how on a system that highly favored the audio distributors over the authors. I was convinced that the people at Audible really did love books and writers, and that with the right stand taken, I could encourage them toward positive change.

I’m happy to say that this stand has borne some fruit. I’ve spent this last year in contact with Audible and other audio distributors, and have pushed carefully–but forcefully–for them to step up. A few weeks ago, three key officers high in Audible’s structure flew to Dragonsteel offices and presented for us a new royalty structure they intend to offer to independent writers and smaller publishers.

This new structure doesn’t give everything I’ve wanted, and there is still work to do, but it is encouraging. They showed me new minimum royalty rates for authors–and they are, as per my suggestions, improved over the previous ones. Moreover, this structure will move to a system like I have requested: a system that pays more predictably on each credit spent, and that is more transparent for authors. Audible will be paying royalties monthly, instead of quarterly, and will provide a spreadsheet that better shows how they split up the money received with their authors.

This part looked really good to me, as I understand their decisions. I tried poking holes in the system, looking for ways it could be exploited, and found each issue I raised had already been considered. This doesn’t mean it’s going to be perfect, and people smarter than me might still find problems that I didn’t. However, I think everyone is going to agree the new system IS better. We will better be able to track, for example, how Audible is dividing money between books purchased with a credit and books listened to as part of their Audible Plus program.

It’s all very technical, but I have to say I’m impressed with the effort they have made. The people there listened to my complaints, and have tried to improve. I’m not at liberty to explain in its entirety their new structure right now, as they’re still tweaking it, but they did say I could announce its existence–and that I could promise new, improved royalties are on the horizon.

Now, before we go too far, I do anticipate a few continuing issues with the final product. I want to manage expectations by talking about those below.

What I’ve seen doesn’t yet bring us to the 70% royalty I think is fair, and which other, similar industries get.

Audible continues to reserve the best royalties for those authors who are exclusive to their platform, which I consider bad for consumers, as it stifles competition. In the new structure, both exclusive and non-exclusive authors will see an increase, but the gap is staying about the same.

Authors continue to have very little (basically no) control over pricing. Whatever the “cover price” of books is largely doesn’t matter–books actually sell for the price of a credit in an Audible subscription. Authors can never raise prices alongside inflation. An Audible credit costs the same as it did almost two decades ago–with no incentive for Audible to raise it, lest it lose customers to other services willing to loss-lead to draw customers over.

These are things I’d love to see change. However, this deal IS a step forward, and IS an attempt to meet me partway. Indeed, even incremental changes can mean a lot. When I was new in this business, my agent spent months arguing for a two-percent change in one of my print royalties–because every little bit helps. These improvements are going to be larger than two-percent increases.

Because of this, I will be bringing the Secret Projects to Audible very soon. I consider Audible to again be a positive force for the industry, and I have decided to shake hands with them. Audible has promised to release their new royalty system for all authors sometime in 2024, though I should be testing it in the next month or so.

And…if you’ll allow me a moment, I’d like to say that this feels good. It isn’t what I wanted, but I’d begun to think that nothing would ever change–that even my voice, loud though it can be, wouldn’t be enough. Yet change IS possible.

I know that there are plenty of people out there who are tired of hearing about me and my works (I’m sorry–I do have quite the group of evangelists, and we can be an enthusiastic lot). However, for better or for worse, I am one of the bestselling authors in the world. Historically, one of the best ways to change things in my industry is for authors like myself to force it to happen.

Feeling this responsibility, when I was first talking to Audible about these issues in 2022, I made it very clear that I wasn’t just seeking some quiet deal that gave me an individual advantage. I wanted to see positive change for all authors. And while I don’t think I can take sole credit, I do feel like my efforts this year have had a significantly positive effect. Soon every independent author who publishes on Audible (and maybe, eventually, traditionally published authors with the huge publishers–depending on what New York decides) will be getting a larger cut of the profit, with more transparency about how that cut is allocated.

So, for those who have been waiting until Audible had the Secret Projects, you’ll get your chance soon. I hope you’ll support them, and support Audible for their decisions. And thank you to all of you who shared the news about my problems with the audio industry last year; I believe that pressure really did help. This is a victory for all of us, because happier authors able to make a better living (particularly those authors who are struggling in the midlist trenches) make for a more vibrant world for everyone.

#Brandon Sanderson #cfsbf #audible #branderson #root #wob #kind of #long post

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eternalsams · 10 months

Text

Bitter Taste ➻ Miguel O'Hara

pairing: Miguel O'Hara x fem!miguel!reader

warning/content: swearing, violence, blood, some ATSV spoilers (but would take place before ATSV events)

summary: Miguel thought he was Nueva York's only Spider-Man, he was wrong.

words count: 1.7k

a/n: English isn't my first language, so please take that into consideration. This is straightly inspired by a tiktok I saw and been obsessing over for the last couple days. (@/soumart_1 on tiktok who made that incredible fanart and inspired this fanfic). Also I tried to use a bit of Spanish but I'm really not bilingual, if you see any weird sentences, feel free to correct me :)

a/n (2): I may write a part 2 if you want, this could even become a series if you like it that much but for now, it's a one-shot.

(my gif)

Miguel was standing in front of his screens as usual, and Lyla was pestering him, as usual. She kept repeating he should take a break and rest, that the multiverse won't collapse if he took a nap. But he knew better. He knew only him could protect the entirety of the multiverse. He rubbed his eyes tiredly but didn't move from his spot, his eyes scanning every screen in front of him, looking for a single trace of an anomaly. "I can see you're exhausted, I don't need to scan you to know you need to sleep." Lyla's voice would soon turn into a nightmare for Miguel if she didn't stop bothering him. "I don't need to sleep. I didn't create you so you can pester me all day long." He grumbled, crossing his arms on his chest and stroking his chin and cheek, pensive. "At this point, it's all night long..." He could hear the little lady mutter as she sunk into her holographic chair. Miguel sighed and opened a new screen before tapping a well known code and before Lyla could stop him, she disappeared with a little bubble sound. Now he was left alone for the rest of the night and he could focus on his task.

A few hours and a couple of coffee cups later, Miguel was seated in an uncomfortable chair, his eyes burning from exhaustion and his brain begging for a break. But no, he kept looking at the screen and sometimes checking on the weakest universes, the ones where the anomalies tend to land in the most. He was so focused on his work and so tired that he didn't hear the portal opening below his platform. He could've heard it if he was well rest, but he wasn't. And he would've heard the web sticking to the ceiling if he wasn't so focused on the screens and so stubborn on finding an anomaly. But he didn't hear any of that. He didn't know he was the prey of a new kind of predator. The kind that didn't need lights to see in the dark and that could almost smell his exhaustion from another universe. He didn't hear the steps getting dangerously closer to him but he did feel the claws digging into his shoulder and throwing him on the ground. He groaned in pain and rolled over on the floor but when he looked up, fangs and claws out, he didn't see anyone. His eyes turned from brown to red and he tried to look around him in the dark, but his sight had been severely damaged by the screens he'd been watching for hours now.

He frustratingly groaned and when he got on his feet, he only heard rushed steps on his left before feeling claws slicing the skin on his neck. He immediately held a hand to his throat to check the wound and he could feel it wasn't a deep cut. Which meant that the thing attacking him didn't want to kill him immediately, it wanted to intimidate him first. "Whatever you are, I am not scared of you." He said out loud, looking around and trying to focus on what he could hear. But only the sound of his blood pumping and his heart racing in his chest reached his ears. It had been a long time since he had to use completely his senses, normally he'd only use his strength to stop his ennemies. But this one seemed to be smarter than the anomalies he was used to chase down. "Eres débil." (You're weak.) He heard a rather feminine voice chuckle in the dark. The jab didn't make him laugh at all but rather grumble something. He stretched his neck and winced when he felt more blood coming out of the injury. "¿Por qué no te muestras ante mí?" (Why don't you show yourself to me?) Miguel groaned before wiping some blood off his neck with his wrist. "¿Qué tiene eso de divertido?" (Where is the fun in that?) The woman chuckled once again before he heard her swinging above him. He was starting to hear more perceptibly and see more clearly now, his senses getting used to this new enemy.

The next time he felt her approaching, he focused on his hearing and swinged his clawed fists in her direction, earning him a yelp of pain. He smiled in victory and jumped in her direction, claws and fangs out. But what he didn't hear was his enemy immediately recovering from his attack and jumping on him at the same time. They collided, groaned and rolled over on the floor. Miguel could almost see clear as day and he could discern long dark hair and a tan skin. Two red orbs were staring at him and he was sure his were staring at her the exact same way. "Cabrón!" (You bastard!) She hissed and the lights turned on when Miguel's back collided with the commands. He straightened up and looked up at his enemy before freezing. The woman attacking him was wearing the exact same suit as him, the only difference was that the red parts on his suit were orange on hers. The shock on his face wasn't similar on hers though. She knew exactly who he was when she attacked him, there was no doubt. "Who the fu-" He murmured before she jumped on him once more. He dodged her by a hair and when he went to grab her ankle, she shot her organic webs on one of the desk in the office and threw it in Miguel's direction. He received it right in the chest and humphed, pushing it off him.

"Enough!" He growled out and grabbed her wrist when she threw herself at him. Her claws were out, her eyes shining red and fangs menacing. Just like him. With her strength, she pushed him against the nearest wall and sank her claws in the concrete next to his head. Her second hand was held back by his grasp but was dangerously approaching his face. She snarled at him and with the remaining strength he had in him, he pushed her back and spined her around so he could slam her body against the wall. She squirmed to get free but his hold on her wrist was strong and before she could even think about using her legs to get away, he pinned her to the wall, crushing her body with his. "That's enough." He groaned in her ear as she kept growling like a feral animal. "I'm gonna ask you questions and you better answer me correctly. Who are you?" He struggled to keep her in place. "Why would I tell you?" She said in a thick Spanish accent. "Wrong answer." He grunted as he snaped her wrist to break it. She yelled in pain and rested her head against the wall, taking deep breaths to concentrate on her healing. "Again. Who are you?" He asked once more. The woman took a deep breath to calm down and opened her eyes to stare at him, her pupils turning back to brown. "Creo que sabes quién soy." (I think you know who I am.) She said as he kept staring at her for a moment before grabbing her elbow and twist it awkwardly. "Wait, wait, wait! I'll tell you who I am..." She immediately submitted. He released her elbow but didn't let her go, waiting for her to speak.

"I'm Michaela O'Hara." She introduced herself, slowly retracting her claws. Miguel froze for a moment, he put two and two together and understood she was another version of himself. "Why are you trying to kill me?" He asked, tightening his grip on her wrist because he knew she would never stop trying to get free. That's what he would do. "Actúas como un loco y casi destruyes el multiverso!" (You're acting insane and almost got the multiverse destroyed!) She growled at him, showing her fangs. "I paid the price of my mistake, I won't do it again." He said, his voice low in memory of his daughter. "Dios mío... You think you're the only one who lost Gabriella? Pathetic... I'm not here about her, I'm here about Miles Morales." (Jesus Christ...) She explained and he frowned. "What about the kid?" He loosened his grip on her and she immediately noticed it, deciding not to mention it. "I know exactly what you want to do to him. That's what I would have done. But you're wrong, Miles is not an anomaly, not more than us." She slowly pushed back from the wall, taking advantage of his distract. His eyes snapped back at her and he frowned once more. "How did you manage to stay hidden from me? I would've noticed you." And by I, he meant Lyla. "You think I would have let an idiot like you keep an eye on me? Oh, Cariño... Yo era el que te vigilaba." (Oh, Honey... I was the one keeping an eye on you.) She chuckled. "Do not think you're the only one who thought about exploring the multiverse." She said with a little smirk as she showed him another version of his multi-dimensional watch.

Only then he noticed she got free from his grip and when he tried and grab her once more, she just swatted at his hand. "And, by the way, I'm not actually trying to kill you. I just wanted to stop you." She walked around his office, looking at the multiple screens. She went to tap on some board before Miguel grabbed her wrist. "Don't touch anything or I'll break every single bone of your hand." He threatened her. "Relax, Grumpy. I will not break anything. You should get that checked out." She said, pointing at the injury on his neck. He brought a hand to his wound and hid a wince of pain. She silently chuckled and turned around, looking at the different universes shown on the screens. "Puedo?" (May I?) She asked as she pointed at the keypad on the desk. Miguel quietly grunted but nodded his head, watching attentively what she was doing. She entered coordinates and a new screen appeared with a number at the top. "Earth-203." Miguel read in a whisper. "Where I'm from, it is basically the same as here. Year 2099, flying cars, bullet trains directly to the moon, bla bla bla... Except I'm Spider-Woman instead of Spider-Man. Well, I'm Viuda-Araña." (Spider-Widow) She explained as she discreetly placed a microchip under Miguel's desk.

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sugawarassoulmate · 2 years

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What if reader was the one who catches Osamu getting all handsy with himself? 👀

Like maybe she's been out for a while like business trip or a trip to an aunt that lives far away then when she comes back, she overhears the lady (over exaggerated moans) in the vid he's watching or she hears him groan out her name which prompts her to lean onto the door

pls because reader is definitely smarter than samu and knows the difference between actual moans and porn 🤭

words: 551 cw: fem!reader, masturbation, oral (m receiving), manipulation, corruption kink, minors dni

you flounder at his door, unsure of what to do, especially when your name falls from his lips. you've never caught him in such a compromising position before.

while trying to back away from the situation, you lose your footing and almost trip, letting out a small yelp. there's no way he didn't hear it, confirmed when he calls out your name.

"ya spyin' on me or somethin'?" he asks when you walk in the room, making no attempt to try and cover himself. in fact, he's still stroking himself as you approach him.

"i didn't see anything!" you blurt out, looking every which way but at him. "i came back a while ago and wanted to see you, i can go home..."

"why don't ya help me out?" osamu pulls you over until you're sitting at the edge of his bed. he brings your hand to wrap around his cock. "be a good girl and take care of me." with his hand over yours, osamu has you stroking his length, cursing at the feeling of your soft skin.

he's not sure what's better, the fact that you're back and that he doesn't have to fuck his own fist anymore or that you're so embarrassed to be doing this right now. osamu loves humiliating you, loves the dumb little whimpers you make. but you're so obedient.

you'd do anything he asked of you.

"baby, ya know what would really make me feel good?" he asks, leaning in to kiss you. he knows acting sweetly does something to you and doesn't mind exploiting it once in a while. "lemme use that pretty mouth of yers, okay?"

he loved how nervous you got. the cute little look you give him that silently asks, "what if i'm not good at it..."

"don't ya want to make me happy, baby?" and you do. that's why you settle between his legs and let osamu guide your soft lips to his hard cock. "i'll do all the work."

it takes all his power not to fuck your face the second he enters your warm mouth. he loves how messy it is, his sweet, innocent girl getting spit everywhere. he sings your praises when you use your hands for places your tongue can't reach, proud that he didn't even have to tell you to do it.

"fuck, that's my good girl," he grunts. he knows if he begs, you'll let him cum in your mouth. but osamu knows he shouldn't be so selfish, not when the other option is so much more fun.

"baby, baby get on yer knees fer me," he gasps, pushing you off before he blows his load. and, of course, you're kneeling pretty before him with your tongue sticking out. "i don't even have to ask, yer fuckin' perfect."

he's getting loose with his words, if he keeps going osamu's gonna say something stupid. he settles for biting his tongue when he finally cums on your face.

it takes you by surprise like it always does, a choked sob escaping your lips until osamu's done with you. he takes a second to look at you, cheeks stained with his seed.

"samu, please..." you whine. with a smirk, osamu grabs your hand and leads you to the bathroom.

"that's what ya get for bein' nosy."

#haikyuu smut #haikyu smut #osamu smut #osamu x reader #osamu miya smut #osamu miya x reader #miya osamu smut #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu #osamu miya #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #🍑#🍑osamu #bully!osamu

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genericpuff · 7 months

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A while back you made a post mentioning Down to Earth is trash and I would like to here your take on it. No pressure on it I just like hearing your opinion on things. FYI I hate Kade lol

I did, and I've been meaning to post about it, but I've been taking some extra time to re-read as much as I can so that I could better collect my thoughts :' )

Now I will mention, I have not caught up to the most recent episodes. Most of my thoughts here will reflect the earliest parts of the series, as I didn't end up sticking with this one. So please take my criticisms as someone who just never got into this series for various reasons, not as someone who was incredibly into the comic and fell off it (like I am with LO). I will try to judge it and review it fairly based on that context.

Most of my issues with Down to Earth don't stem nearly as deep as my issues with LO, Let's Play, or even Big Ethel Energy. Frankly, I think the comic is 'fine', but I don't think it's necessarily all that good either, and the amount of attention it gets from the platform lends to the fact that I really think its success is due to a lot of generated hype. This is one of the other comics on the platform that gets a LOT of priority advertising, not quite as egregious as LO, but still a lot.

The short answer: I think the comic is just overrated and pretty basic in terms of its storytelling and art, and I don't think it's necessarily a good "romance" comic for some of the same reasons I don't think LO or Let's Play are good romance comics. I think the only reason I don't get quite as mad at it as I do with LO or BEE or LP is because (as far as I can tell) it's not really advertising itself as some feminist progressive piece of work. It's sorta just "what you see is what you get", and what you get isn't really all that great (for reasons listed below) but at least it doesn't try to sound smarter than it is most of the time. Read it the same way you would watch a fluff anime.

Moving into my long answer, I will say some of the things that were initially appealing about it: the art is very colorful and cutesy, the comedy (for the most part) is inoffensive and simple, and the story is really easy to pick up and get into.

That said, I do think some of those praises are also part of its weaknesses.

While the art gets better over time, there are certain aspects of its stylization that still feel very "baby's first webcomic" to me. Which is great if you're someone who's into that style, but when I read it, it never really stops feeling like a Canvas comic, if you catch my drift. Nothing really sets it apart from the flood of Merryweather-esque fan service comics that are in the Canvas section.

And boy, is there a LOT of fanservice in this comic. I think the main plot point itself is fanservice in and of itself - cutesy anime alien girl crashes on earth, and winds up living with the depressed NEET-like guy, shenanigans ensue from how "inexperienced" she is due to her alien status. Everything from the circumstances of this character's plot to how she's drawn screams "this is for people who like to read about small titty girls with big asses being put into a situation where they have to rely on a man". The comic takes many opportunities to draw the FL, Zaida, as wide as possible (and of course, the ML Kade loves this trait about her, it's one of the first thing he notices aside from the fact that she speaks an alien language and can do weird alien things like telepathy and flying).

Thankfully this does get a little better in the later episodes, you can tell the creator was struggling with anatomy in places and then honed their skills, but there are still times it regresses back to the extremely-pinched-waist-mega-badonker-hips look.

Don't get me wrong, having a protagonist with wide hips like this is all fine and dandy, but there's a point where you can tell it's purely for fanservice and that's definitely what the comic wants you to know from the starting gun. She fits perfectly into that "born sexy yesterday" trope that so many romance FL's do (cough Persephone cough) while also having that "uwu I'm so inexperienced :(((" vibe that you get from characters like Sam in Let's Play. Shit, Kade pretty much starts sexualizing her before he even knows what her deal is as a person. Does he even know how old she is? Is "she" even a "she", do these aliens have different concepts of gender identity or even different types of reproductive organs than what you would find on Earth?

Look, I get it that I'm probably WAY overthinking it, you can write comics about characters from other dimensions and planets without having to get into the nitty gritty of whether or not they have periods, that's fine. But the real problem is the fact that her being from another planet seems to be used purely for creating an infantilized character with extra steps who's easily laughed at for not knowing things (don't even get me started on how "alien" could be replaced with "someone who doesn't speak English or have access to modern devices" in a lot of this comic, but I feel like that's way too deep of a criticism to be pinning on something that's literally designed to be a quirky fanservice fluff comic.)

Like, you want an alien girl who looks human but still acts reasonably like an alien - while even tackling subjects that come with being an "outsider" - without making her act like a literal baby? Starfire from Teen Titans.

(granted, the whole "smooching to transfer information" thing is definitely a little weird in hindsight, and there are definitely moments of fanservice, but that's about as weird as it gets lmao you don't see Starfire acting like a literal toddler, she is smart and capable, she just isn't from Earth, which is the whole point of her characterization being parallel to that of what foreigners experience ! She's not stupid or incapable of taking care of herself, she's just not accustomed to life on Earth!)

Like, this is in one of the newer episodes and I just-

(I suddenly have to throw up-)

It really dials the creep factor of this whole relationship dynamic to 100 when they drive home just how "babylike" she is through panels like this. It's not really her being unaware of customs around her, it's just her being written as babylike as possible with the fact that she's an alien being used as justification.

But it really makes you think about Kade's intentions when he goes straight to buying lingerie for the girl he just met who's been forced to stay with him in his home. He doesn't even really make efforts to help her get on her own feet, he just accepts this as his fate and goes "welp I guess I gotta make sure I don't get fired from my job" because now he has to support the baby girl that landed in his backyard. So Zaida ends up having no agency as a result. It just feels like a contrived situation meant to force an unaware, vulnerable girl into being taken care of by a guy who's, frankly, a creep.

And boy, Kade is actually kind of a creepy scumbag.

Kade makes for a really uninteresting and frankly pathetic character, he's just sort of a whiny man baby and you just know if Zaida was an earthling who had spent time on this planet longer than a few days, she probably wouldn't put up with this shit LOL Like, deadass he basically threatens to harm her within the first few episodes of the comic-

Like, this is after she's ruined his Playstation or w/e, and it's just like DAMN girl, this is a RED FLAG. But of course, she's an alien girl who's ignorant about everything, so it creates that power dynamic where he basically has full reign to take advantage of her at any time. Ladies, if a guy says you shouldn't trust him, take him at his word.

Zaida's characterization is also very inconsistent between her being an alien and her just being an "uwu baby girl". Often times it just makes the whole "alien" thing feel like it's only there to justify writing yet another "I'm babyyyy" romance. Sometimes she's WAY more privy to things than you'd expect her to be and then other times she's doing the dumbest shit for laughs.

Now to be fair, she DOESN'T put up with his shit here, but the fact that the writing for Zaida is inconsistent makes scenes like Kade being a creep being more about the creator realizing they're leaning too hard into her being vulnerable to abuse and so they quickly have Zaida combat it with some strange amount of awareness despite the fact she's only been living with him for a few days... but not enough awareness to maybe realize this isn't a good living situation. Like, again, she may be able to speak English, but that doesn't mean she's fully aware of what Earthlings are like, so she's suddenly really smart about what it means to be taken advantage of by a human man even though everywhere else in the comic she's written like a toddler.

And of course, like many of these webtoons tend to do, they don't linger on the implications of this scene too long, so they quickly turn it into a punchline to ease the tension. Audience comfort restored.

And that brings us to the comedy. The "jokes" in this comic basically boil down to, "haha, the alien girl doesn't know how to take care of herself on Earth!" , which frankly, I think is just a very thin veil for infantilization. I mean, really, the fact that she's an alien doesn't even really matter in the world of this comic, it takes a while for the comic to even really give us a glimpse of what her life was like off Earth so most of the comic is just typical slice of life cutesy moments you'd find in literally any shoujo or romance webtoon. You could switch out the fact that she's an alien with her being from another dimension, or turn it into an isekai where she was the female character in Kade's favorite video game who suddenly got zapped into the real world, and it would make fundamentally zero difference.

They even sorta lampshade this fact but swiftly move on from it.

There's nothing really that makes her an "alien" in any unique or consequential way, she's just a carbon copy anime girl with pointy ears who could be replaced with any other trope from other romance subgenres like this. She can eat human food just fine, dress in human clothes, and as long as she wears a hat over her ears, she's literally indistinguishable from the humans around her.

I will add as well that there are a lot of little ways they hint towards the implied dynamic between these two, at least in the beginning. The whole "second rule: obey" bit, while passed off immediately after as a joke, feels like it was inserted there JUST to create that imbalanced power dynamic that so many "romance" webtoons rely on, similarly to LO and Let's Play. The fact that he corrects himself from this just feels like, again, lampshading.

And again, after this we do see Kade legitimately acting like a creep and he DOESN'T DO ANYTHING to help Zaida get her footing beyond paying for her room and board and telling her to mind her vocabulary, so this seems more like him trying to create a situation that's beneficial to him where he's effectively trapped this girl into relying on him.

They even lampshade this as well so that leads me to believe they're fully aware of this dynamic and how creepy it is, so they try and play it off as a "haha so funny" joke to ease the tension or create suspension of disbelief.

When it comes to the actual execution of punchlines, again, 90% of the jokes in this comic are "haha alien girl so stupid!"

(I will admit this scene did make me laugh, but it's telling that it was the only one that stood out to me for that because every other joke in this series is very mid and resorts to the same type of "haha she's a stupid alien girl" punchlines.)

(omg mental illness! so funny! /s)

If you really want comedy written around aliens describing human things in weird ways, then just go read Strange Planet. They're actually aliens and they're consistently funny through much smarter writing that doesn't rely purely on "lmao they're stupid because they're not from here". If anything the aliens in Strange Planet are way more welcoming and endearing to the concept of being a fish out of water than simply making them stupid for a punchline.

(i swear to christ, "crisscross flop disc" and "prohibit anxiety" are lines that have lived in my head rent free for like 3 years now, it never gets old and THAT'S how you know it's a good joke LMAO)

And the story, as mentioned, is easy to get into, but ultimately that winds up meaning it's not really all that well done. Like, it's fine! It's a cute comic to read if you're into this sort of thing, there are a lot of sweet little moments that feel good to read between Kade and Zaida, but ultimately because of the focus on the fluff, that's all it ends up feeling like - weekly doses of fluff. Even when it tries to have some semblance of plot, it's quickly undercut by fanservice. So it's just kinda boring and vapid.

Case in point, one of Kade's observations of Zaida is that she apparently looks "just like his ex girlfriend" who he still clearly hasn't gotten over, but we don't actually see even a hint of what his ex-girlfriend looks like until MULTIPLE episodes later after the "sparks" have already started being formed between him and Zaida.

Um... she doesn't really look like Zaida at all aside from them both being generic anime girls, but okay lol by that logic the girl he served at the store in Episode 7 also looks like Zaida.

So it kinda makes the whole relationship feel superficial, like he's only interested in her because she vaguely reminds him of his ex, and it's taking so long to get through any amount of plot through all the fluff that I can't be sure if they ever actually address this. I'd like to think they do eventually, though from what I've heard of the later episodes after his ex-girlfriend makes an appearance, it seems more like they go the LO route of making the two relationship "choices" just be complete opposites where one is actually sweet to the ML and the other is abusive JUST to make the sweet FL seem like the "better option". IDK, obviously my criticism of this is lukewarm because I haven't kept up on this comic in ages, but I have the sneaking suspicion the whole ex-girlfriend-the-ML-can't-get-over plotline isn't gonna be used for his development, just to further propel him and Zaida into a relationship - and by extension, manufactured drama to make their relationship more "interesting".

Overall, I don't think Down to Earth is anywhere near as egregious as Let's Play and LO, but it's definitely cut from the same cloth, and that's why it frustrates me to see it - alongside LO and Big Ethel Energy - being marketed as "new voices in romance".

(also real talk, it's so disingenuous for them to include LO in this "new voices in romance comics" panel when it's been around for so many years that everyone and their grandma who uses WT knows about the comic, if they aren't reading LO by now they REALLY don't want to. It's not "new", if anything it's one of the oldest ongoing webtoons on the platform and it REALLY needs to end already lmao)

Far be it from me to gatekeep an entire genre, but this brand of romance comic isn't really "romance". It's vapid fluff loaded up with egregious fanservice that's meant to give you a hit of dopamine every week, while never lingering on serious scenes for too long because they don't want you to realize just how imbalanced the relationship is between the two main characters. It's not quite as concerning as LO or Let's Play, but it does have a vibe that's really uncomfortable when you start to feel it. So having comics like these held up as the "golden standard" of romance is just... it's really telling as to what WT's priorities are and how unhealthy "romance" has become in mainstream media.

And if I can get a little "old man yelling at cloud" for a second, I miss when romance was sweet and soft and earnest and heartfelt. I think the only mainstream and successful romance webcomic (and it's not even an Originals!) that I've seen in the last several years that isn't loaded up with these problematic tropes is Heartstopper. Heartstopper is sweet and soft and earnest and heartfelt. Heartstopper is way more of a pillar for a healthy romance than what any of these "new voices in romance comics" can provide. It literally couldn't function as an Originals series because the definition of a WT romance comic would undercut the actual point of Heartstopper.

These unhealthy standards and dynamics that we've set in the romance genre have been so pervasive for years now and I really just wish they'd go away.

y'know what, this whole essay is really just a promo post for Heartstopper now, go read it-

#just go read heartstopper #webtoon critical #down to earth critical

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cherryfennec · 19 days

Note

hot take: the bosses in super paper mario permanently damaged any chance of the game ever getting rpg mechanics, it would make the rpg mechanics feel cheap and the bosses feel boring, especially super dimentio

abandoning the flippage and making the game be fully 3d like sm64 would be a good move though

Super Paper Mario stands out in the Paper Mario games especially because of the fact that the bosses aren't turn based. The fact that they mixed RPG and platformer elements was interesting, in the end some of them hit while some miss.

The bossess definitely have quite a lot of charm from being in full motion and not locked to turns, you get to see personality through movement like O'Chunks being a little slow to react, Dimentio and Mr.L being hard to catch and Bleck taking advantage of the background. A few that especially benefit are: Fracktails entire battle, Mimi climbing the ceiling midfight (and also her and Dimentio being able to flip after you), Brobot L-type or even Super Dimentio like you mentioned.

Despite this I have to admit that some fights might feel underwhelming gameplay wise. Getting personality is awesome but if it's at the expense of difficulty or unfun mechanics then it might be better to not push it. Especially with the problem of BIG open spaces. Chapter 4-4 boss room is super open and super empty which feels a little anticlimactic while Mimis boss room is super small and has little wiggle room. Mimi was in fact harder than Mr.L just because of the fact i couldn't jump or evade her as easily.

This doesn't mean that everything should be crammed into a small area but it is a little cheesy seeing the AI struggle to attack you in the few ways it can. (again with Mr.L, he makes mighty leaps in this large room and with how slow he descends and predictable the landing spot is you can just. walk under.)

When it comes to making it 3D sm64 style it would be conceptually interesting but personally? I think it should remain paper style. A story like this would be difficult and very time consuming to execute in the mainline 3D Super Mario style, especially considering the time it released in. The main focus here was clearly the lore and dialogue which a lot of people agree is the best thing about it. It's cut like a story book, which ties with being Paper Mario, and the idea that these characters are already doomed by the narrative.

But that's an entirely different discussion so I won't delve deeper or else we'll be here much longer.

If I could personally offer any changes to SPM it would be:

The timer on the FLIP ability sucks, either extend or remove completely. I want to see all these beautiful assets and bosses in 3D which are already fully programed but the timer is actively discouraging me from doing so because of the damage penalty. "Mario is getting nauseous that's why he can't stay there long" is a cool in-universe explanation but it's not fun gameplay wise.

Personal design nitpick but some areas could use some retouches. What do you mean you associated the colour of the Pure Heart to the worlds palette only in 4 Chapters? What about the rest? Please keep going!!

Increase the difficulty a little (aka make the AI somewhat smarter). Personality and struggle is what makes a character memorable in games. (really big detour but for example take Malenia from Elden Ring, she has lore that is optional to learn and yet theres a big chance you'll remember her anyway because she's a super hard boss)

This ones more of a 'what if' but I've been trying to imagine for a while the possibility of: normally everything is 3D/with depth like the other Paper Mario games and when you FLIP it becomes 2D (basically reversing the effect). I know this ruins Fracktail and would require more work with sculpting the environments but I like the thought of the hub being 3D. If not that at least add more assets to the environment when you flip. A lot of the time every tree and rock is in 2D while 3D is just so empty. Also consider just for a moment how little people FLIP during bosses and areas, probably forgetting they even can, and missing out on these cool models. Either that or they're aware that when they do FLIP they won't see anything because the cameras obscured by a wall (looking at you chapter 4).

In conclusion I think this take has stable ground and in the end I agree to an extent! There are some rather specific cases that I feel would work better in a turn based system but overall a lot of them are good as they are!

Making the game like sm64 sounds fun but could be difficult to execute without loosing any of the beautiful charm the Paper Mario format/style provides to it's stories.

#spm #super paper mario #askbox

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the-patrex · 5 months

Note

whats your take on kate’s giggle induced meltdown? i still dunno how to feel about some of the things she said

I think there some possibilities to interpret how the giggle effects ppl 1. that it brings out all you are thinking, but dont say or do, to live in polite society. Charitably it could be the things you dont SUPER believe in, but the idea is already there. 2. the giggle takes away the impulse control, the first stuff that pops in your head intrusive thoughts style will be said out loud/ you will act upon it. So its not actually something you want to do or say.

and 3. that it somehow plants negative and combative thoughts on peoples minds Now comes the other part of this What does the giggle represent to us, in our actual world? It's very much about how media, and social media in particular, is now working on polarizing our points of view, it's not a bug but a feature with how online spaces work. (this part is not a subtext in the episode but the reason for this system: its for profit, people screaming at each other on twitter makes the platform money, and it makes the people that are creating the spaces for those already buying into those reactionary beliefs money, like Alex Jones and Andrew Tate for exemple) This could be a giant enormous conversation that people much smarter than me are way more qualified to talk about So about Kate. I dont know. Honestly? I think to make the character more interesting it serves the narrative better if its the 1 option to be honest. Granted it absolutely paints her in a bad light. She is the head of a military organization, I think it stands to reason that she would be somewhat paranoid in not the best ways but knows to play her game to get where she is Do I think that's what RTD meant and this is take away we were supposed to get from it? No no I dont. I think if you ask Russel it would be the 3rd option. Even more bc of what the Doctor said about manipulating the human race thing. I think the giggle was a vehicle to talk about the real world stuff and we perhaps shouldnt look too into the character thing

#dw spoilers #shut up patrex #would be cool if it was about Kate being kinda fucked tho

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silent-raven13 · 9 months

Text

Billie's new best fren 2

(Part 1)

Miles sighs at his boyfriend as they walk to Miguel's office to discuss the failed mission: You know, she doesn't like it when you hold her like that! -Hobie spend the free time trying to get Billie to like him after he found out she is fond of Miguel-

Billie's cheeks puff being super upset that the punk Spiderman is holding her instead of her amazing big brother: NO! Nonononono! -she walks Hobie's face with her hand having to struggle from his grasp-

Hobie holds her close to looks at her: Come on, darling. You will like me! Look, I'm a kind, mate! -he took her hits, since they didn't hurt.-

Billie struggles using her web shooter: NO! Miles, Miles -she began crying for her brother-

Hobie grunts: No use! Why does she hate me? -he frowns-

Miles took his baby sister back in his arms, calming her down: She doesn't hate you. She's just like you! She gets jealous when all my attention is on someone else. And I thought you didn't care? You're just jealous because she likes Miguel. -it always goes back to Miguel somehow. Miles never understood why Hobie had this jealousy toward the older Spiderman. It not like he's going to dumb his boo over Mr. Grumps! Nah, Miles is too loyal, too faithful to his relationship with Hobie-

Hobie: It's just weird! I rather have her like me that's all! -they enter Miguel's office with their other Spider-heroes from the mission-

Miguel spotted the two coming in, his eyes seem to gleam at Miles' sister: Morales. Brown.

Hobie merely grunts having to sit on a desk being laid back. Miles happily said: Hey, tio! Look, who I brought today! -Hobie eyes rolled hearing Billie's cheerful voice-

Billie likes Miguel, because he too get annoyed with Hobie, so they both get annoyed: Tio! -she giggles having her tiny hands reaching over the older Spiderman-

Miguel let out a small chuckles as he got down from his platform to hold the little girl. His eyes soften by the sight of her, she reminded him of his Gabriella. Billie's dark skin tone, her big eyes, and dark hair resembles his deceased child, even thought Billi's hair is much more coily, Gabriella had the same amount of hair, thick, luscious and full of life just like her own curly hair: Hola, mi niña. Cómo estás? Bien? -he held Billie in his arms smelling her strawberry milk baby scent, which must come from her shampoo. The light hint of she butter tickles Miguel's nose when Billie's hand pat on his face, a habit she likes to do. The little girl always seem so fascinated by his face, he always assume maybe because he's ugly and funny looking-

Billie: Tio. Tio! Ahh...

Miles merely smiles watching the two enjoying themselves. The only reason he brought Billie was for Miguel. Maybe it would help the man get some closure or filled the loneliness he carries, and his little sister seem to enjoy his presence at the same time. So a win win!: She got happy when I mentioned we were gonna see you!

Miguel: Is that so, heh? -he chuckles with amusement still having his eyes on the baby-

Billie giggles when Miguel's finger tickle her neck: Hahaha! Tio! Tio! -she babbles a lot more-

Miguel: She's learning to talk more than last time I saw her.

Miles nodded: Yeah, she mostly understands Spanish

Miguel: Es bueno! Es importante para ella aprender ambos idiomas a diferencia de alguien. -he eyes on Miles, who has trouble speaking in Spanish-

Miles pouts: I do know Spanish! Look! Pue-do hah-ablar en-en orac- orca- I-ones comp- com- ple-tas! -Being put on the spot made him nervous, and he did carry an American accent when he spoke Spanish, but he proudly finished it. So a big smirk on his face-

Miguel blinks, and Billie glances at her brother then made a: Pfft. -she turns back to Miguel- Nononono.

Miles: Billie, you didn't had to do me like that. -Sometimes his sister is way smarter than people think-

Miguel chuckles a bit louder as he holds Billie closer to him: Tu Herman está aprendiendo, princesa. No podemos ser tan estrictos. -She only pucker her lips then gave a look that said you-were-thinking-the-same- He's doing his best. -He's a lot kinda to Miles over the couple of years, the young man been part of the team. Maybe it was guilt from the beginning, in the end Miles proved him wrong.-

Miles proudly puff his chest: Yeah!

Miguel: I wonder where she got it from? So strict, and mean.

Lyla's avatar appeared to look at Billie: Really? You have no idea? -she waves at the baby-

Billie tries to touch it: Ohhh! Bon-ita!

Miles snickers while Miguel said: I have no idea what your talking about, Lyla.

Lyla snorted: She obviously learned it from you! Babies learn from the source! -she turned smaller to stand on Bille's nose to get the girl's attention busy-

Miguel grunts: Pfft. -the same way Billie did it to Miles-

Miles laughs: Ah, so that's where she learn that. -the other group came into the office having brought lunch-

Pav came toward Miles and Hobie: We got lunch!

Peter grins nervously at a glaring Miguel: We brought those Empanadas! -He had Mayday hold a take out container stuffed with Empanadas with different meat fillings-

Mayday nodded: And-and milkshake, uncle Miguel! -she put on her cute puppy look, so her daddy doesn't get too much into trouble from the mission-

Billie eyed t Peter then grunts: Hmph!

Miguel nodded: Exactly. Solo tu me entiendes. Anyway, why are you all here late!

Gwen gave Hobie a bag filled with his and Miles' lunch: Hey, Obs! Miss anything.

Hobie: Thanks, Gwendy. You didn't miss much -still sounding jealous as his boyfriend spend the free time talking to Miguel-

Gwen grins widely noticing Hobie had this annoyed tone in his voice, only happens when he's jealous. Her eyes glanced over at Miles standing in front of Miguel, who's holding Billie. Looks like that's the reason: Right, sure. -she chuckles as she set her own lunch down next to him-

Mayday handed Miguel's lunch to the leader: Here, uncle Miguel. My daddy is really really sorry! -she put on her big eyes on him-

Billie eyes at Peter: Oh?

Miguel grins at the baby in his arms: Mira, nena. Your dad is reckless. -being honest seeing her pout- At least you and the rest of the team are fine. However, we need to discus WHAT -eyeing at Peter again- went wrong!

Billie's tummy growling: Ahh! Ahh! Leche! Leche! -she grab Miguel's pecks to give a sign she's hungry!-

Miguel sighs: Morales, Le trajiste comida para ella? -Gwen, Pav and Peter snickers at Billie's hand grabbing his right peck.-

Miles giggles: Yeah, right here. -opening a small pouch from his baby carrier that had a bottle of water and powder formula to mix together. Billie's mouth water for her food- I'm coming! I'm coming, gotta shake it well!

Mayday went over to Miles: Let me help! Let me help, big bro! -She had her hands up to help shake the bottle. Miles let her shake it.- Hehehe, I'm helping!

Miles smiles: Yeah, you are. Now, handed it to Tio. -Mayday went to hand the bottle to Miguel-

Miguel took the bottle and shake it a bit more till he feds Billie. The little girl took the bottle with joy: Rico?

Billie: Mmhhmm! -She holds her bottle enjoying her meal. -Gwen and Pav started eating their lunch being so hungry-

Miguel turns to the group: Anyway, -he holds the bottle helping Billie drink her milk- Parker, what were you thinking?

Peter gave a sheepish grin: Mig, I wanted to finish the mission early! It was supposed to be a level 2 anomaly!

Miguel growls: I told you it was unknown! Lyla scanned the anomaly, but her readings couldn't scale the anomaly's powers. -The view of Miguel holding the bottle feeding Billie made it hard to take the conversation seriously.-

Miles: Sir, it was sort of my fault! -wanting to take some responsibility- I shouldn't taken Billie since I failed to follow the plan!

Miguel turns to Miles: You did nothing wrong, kid. You were following orders, though I do expect you to be more responsible toward your sister about certain missions you take with her. Considering it's always hard to multi-task between Spiderman and your normal life. I'll let that slide, but -he glares mostly at Peter- Your the one in charge, Parker! I gave you a perfectly good plan and you ignored it!

Peter being nervous: I thought we didn't need it! Sometimes we can't depend on your plans! Look, I admit that I screwed up, but it's not the end of it. We can go back and fine the anomaly!

Gwen: Yeah! It'll be fine. We'll follow the plan this time, right Peter?

Peter grins widely: Look, Mig. I promise!

Miguel scowls at him: You will write me a ten paper report why this mission fail, Parker!

Peter groans: Ughhh! What is this? High school!

Pav chews: He could've suspend you.

Miguel: I should -being upset. Then, Billie mumbles pulling away from her bottle- Done?

Billie turn her face away from the bottle: Mm! -Miles took out a small baby blanket from his baby carrier's large pouch and handed to Miguel. The leader wanted to burp the little girl letting his own fatherly instinct appeared. Billie made more nosies as he placed the baby blanket on his left shoulder, and he let her lay over as he gently pat her back- Ahhh, bbrrrr, prrr!

Miguel softly said: Ya. Ya. Casi termino. -Billie made other sounds-

Pav giggles: How cute! -he pulls out his phone to take phones just like Gwen did-

Mayday watch Billie drooling and burping: Why she needs to be burped?

Miguel: Because babies can't burp themselves! It hurts them.

Miles: Should we call you Spiderdad, then? -Miguel eyed at the young Spiderman- Just saying, kids are always around you. Even Gerald likes you.

Mayday: I like uncle too!

Peter: What about me? I'm a dad, too!

Gwen whispers to Pav: Spiderdaddies.

Pav snickers: For real!

Miguel turns tot he two whispering: Qué?

Billie burps one last time before making sounds: Waawawaw! AH! -she became antsy-

Miles went over to give her, her pacifier so she can relax: You good, boo-boo! -Billie was more than good. She's happy. Being carried and full, she felt amazing- I'll take that as a yes. -he took the baby blanket away from Miguel-

Miguel held her: You go eat your lunch with Brown. I'll watch her until till then.

Miles: Awe, thanks, tio! I think Billie couldn't be happier. -Seeing his sister being happy-

Mayday: Miles, can i eat with you and Hobie?

Miles: Sure! -Mayday happily took his hand as they went to the other side of the office to eat their lunch with their friends-

Peter stood casually with his arm on Miguel's shoulder: You know, you got quite the crowd.

Miguel: Parker, your still in trouble.

Peter pouts: Awe, come on! How about a kiss?

Miguel: No!

Peter groans: This handsome face comes once in a life time -he frowns- Please, Miggy?

Miguel: Peter, leave me alone and go start on your report. I'll keep an eye on Mayday!

Peter grunts: Let me finish my lunch then -he dramatically sighs. Billie merely giggles at the grown men arguing like her parents.-

Hobie pulled Miles into his arms as they eat together: Still don't get what she sees in him? -He rest his chin on Miles' left side of his shoulder-

Miles chuckles having to open their containers filled with their lunch. They order Chinese food; fried rice with beef and broccoli, two egg rolls, chow men with orange chicken and bbq pork. He kisses Hobie on the cheek: Mi amor, no te preocupes! Billie is chilling, besides -he whispers lowly in his boyfriend's ear- this is good for Miguel.

Hobie pouts then sighs: I guess, mate. Still don't like it. How about another kiss?

Miles snickers giving him a peck on the lips: There? Better, mi amor?

Hobie: Sî

Pav kept eating his lunch which was Jamaican food; jerk chicken, seasoned rice and chicken curry: You guys always gotta be like that? -they're lovey lovey sometimes feel overwhelming-

Gwen laughs having her lunch; Greek gyro stuffed with beef, side of feta lemon salad and lemon rice: Haha, come on, Pav! Your just mad because Gayatri is on vacation with her family.

Pav pouts: I am not!

Gwen: Yes you are!

Hobie hugs Miles' tightly as he rubs his cheek against his sunflower: Heh, my sunflower deserves all my attention. -he gave multiple kisses on his boyfriend's cheek- Right, luv?

Miles giggles: Yup!

Hobie: Can you feed me some chow mien, darling!

Miles: Okay, baby!

Gwen: Whoa, now that's too lovey dowery for me.

Mayday eats her McDonalds happy meal: I think it's cute! -she giggles-

#punkflower #miles morales #hobie brown #spider verse #spiderman #across the spider verse

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zukoromantic · 4 months

Text

HAPPY BELATED CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO @smarter-than-the-smarties !!!!!

I know i'm not exactly early, but I'm your secret santa for @duckblrsecretsanta2023 ! :D I hope you're having lovely holidays! ^^🩵

I love your taste in characters and decided to write a small Agent 22 mission fic where she chases down a certain scientist! I hope you enjoy it! It reminded me how much fun these characters are, so I for one was happy to work on it <3

(thanks to @ai-higurashi who beta read!)

--------------

Agent 22 looked at the city in front of her. Everything seemed normal. Busy, naturally for a city of this size, but normal.

SHUSH had gotten information that Black Heron had made her way to Paris. And of course Bentina had been the one immediately sent to follow. She had had several encounters with the woman. A scientist with a bigger sense for drama than could be found on any stage in the world. Which was the only reason she qualified as a threat at all.

Currently, 22 was seated in a news helicopter surveilling the city, along with a SHUSH coordinator and a pilot.

”She will undoubtedly try pulling a stunt at one of the landmarks. We should keep an eye on the city from the sky.”

Additionally, she had suggested the design of a news helicopter to keep a low profile. Sure, it was bigger than they would usually be, but it was more convenient to have some space.

Technically, the mission coordinator should have had a word in the planning, but Bentina usually took charge on most parts of a mission.

It was one of the reasons people weren’t exactly keen on working with her.

That didn’t matter to her though. Her focus was on the mission at hand at all times. It was only natural she would make sure everything went as smoothly as possible.

At least the coordinator was the one keeping in touch right now with SHUSH headquarters.

“22, we got word. Black Heron has been sighted on the Eiffel Tower.”

“Of course she has." The Eiffel Tower had been her number one guess. It was not just the most famous but also the tallest one of the sights in the city. Plenty of attention.

“What is it that she’s doing?”

“They don't know yet. She seems to be armed, highest platform, everyone is making their way down as we speak. We will land right now as close as we can and get up the tower.”

“We don’t have time for that. Get me as close to the tower as you can.”

“22, that -”

“Got it.” Before the coordinator could finish his objection, the pilot had already set course. Much to her colleague’s dismay. “We are going to attract plenty of unwanted attention! Besides, this is far too unsafe.”

Beakley didn’t so much as spare him a glance. “It’s either us or her. If we find time to land and get to the top of a structure that’s about a thousand feet tall, it will be too late. Send support now to assist with the arrest, I am getting to her now.”

While talking, she got up from her seat and grabbed some of her tools that she had stored away in a box.

One of them, a rope gun. Beakley positioned herself in front of one of the doors as they hovered down and closer to the landmark.

She couldn't see Heron from their position. She was most likely at the other side of the platform and had other things to do than paying attention to the helicopter.

“Can’t get closer than that!”, shouted the pilot from the front.

Beakley took a breath. It wasn’t her first time doing this, but she had to focus.

Steady aim.

Focus.

Shoot.

A rope dashed out of the gun straight to the top of the tower.

Hit.

It was a SHUSH special gadget. The tip functioned like a simple suction cup but about eighteen times more effectively. She would need it if she were to slide down on this rope.

Quickly, she fixed her end of the rope in the helicopter and snapped the handle into place before holding onto it tightly. Thank goodness she had done this a hundred times.

The last thing she heard before daring the final step was her coordinator instructing her to not be too reckless. As if she of all people needed a reminder.

A jump and her feet lost solid ground. With a high but still controlled speed, she soared through the air towards the tower. Heron still wasn’t in sight. The woman must be very occupied so as not to notice her arrival.

Better for her.

She prepared to jump off at the right moment. She needed to be careful not to crash into the -

Now!

22 let her hands loosen the grip and she fell into the space between the fence and the wall; landing in a way to deal as little damage as possible to her own body.

The loud thump she landed with felt appropriate however, as it wasn’t exactly like falling into pillows.

But she had learned not to dwell on any pain. She had obtained no injuries, so she could proceed undeterred.

With the sound however, she suspected that Heron must have noticed her at last.

“What kind of reporter are y-” an unmistakable voice yelled from her right in the square pathway, allowing Beakley to face the correct direction.

A woman in a short reddish dress - covered by a black cloak for once - and a long pointy beak showed up at the corner. Her eyes darted between the rope contraption and the agent in front of her for a moment.

“22?! Is there anywhere you won’t follow me?” Despite the surprise in her voice, Black Heron was also obviously displeased.

22 didn’t bother replying. “Whatever it is you’re doing, surrender now and SHUSH will consider a lighter sentence for your crimes.”

Heron’s expression shifted to annoyance.

“Always so to the point. You’re not even curious what my plan is? I go through all this effort and you expect me to surrender without even revealing anything?”

Beakley didn’t allow herself to be irritated by this madwoman. She didn't know if Heron had set up a timer of sorts earlier for a bomb or any other dangerous device. So she needed to hurry. However, if the scientist was so keen on sharing information, it might be faster to get a quick information from the woman herself.

“Did you plant a bomb up here?”

“A bomb? Don’t be silly, where’s the fun in that? I’m not that kind of terrorist! That’s far too impersonal.”

Apparently, Beakley wouldn’t get much information this way after all. It would be faster if she made her talk.

She dashed forwards towards the woman - only to halt in her movements when she pulled something from her dress.

“Nuh-uh, 22! What’s the rush with you?”

It wasn’t the first time Beakley had a gun pointed at her. But this one looked odd. It seemed too large to be carrying regular bullets. She had no idea what it could possibly fire. Which, unfortunately, meant that she had no idea if she could dodge whatever might be fired at her.

She scanned the environment and considered her options. The gap between the two women wasn’t large but enough to give Heron time to shoot if Beakley were to attack her.

For now she would let Heron monologue about her plan and then when she was a bit more distracted disarm her.

“I took a lot of time to prepare this, you know? I managed to build devices small enough to bring up here undiscovered that will release the biggest firework you have ever seen!” Her eyes lit up. “They’ll display my name and face for everyone to see!” She followed up with her signature maniacal laugh.

Beakley ignored the urge to call Heron out on her ridiculous plan and used the opportunity. It was good she could count on the scientist to ramble herself into losing focus.

In the blink of an eye, 22 did a roll on the floor to Heron’s left side.

Heron’s gun went off. But Beakley didn't feel herself getting harmed, so she remained on task.

While getting up, close enough to Heron, she kicked the woman in the legs, “OWch, can you -”, before she slapped the gun out of her hands.

“How dare you interrupt me when I’m making a speech?!”

Beakley quickly grabbed her opponent’s arm, but simultaneously checked to see what she had fired at her and if it was still dangerous. It was something shaped like a little rocket with smoke coming out of it. It was probably to leave people unconscious. She had never seen this weapon on Heron’s hands before and for a moment she wondered what else she managed to come up with since the last time she saw her.

This was her mistake.

Heron used the moment to slip out of the agent’s grip and run the other way.

Beakley cursed herself for it and gave chase.

“Stop this, Heron! You’re obsessed!”

Heron obviously did not have a lot of room for talking, being the one followed. But she could never resist a conversation, Beakley had found.

“I’m the obsessed one?! You’re the one chasing me across borders! In fact, I must be a pretty big deal for you to always get so worked up about me.”

She slid onto the ground, arriving at one of two boxes she had fixed to the ground. Before she was able to fumble with it, Beakley caught up to her.

She tackled the scientist, making sure her hands were far from the contraption. These must be bearing the fireworks she had talked about. Being so close, she took note of something metal wrapped around the woman’s torso. Another weapon? Whatever it was, she would make sure it would do her no good.

“Obsessed? Your attention stunts are a nuisance at best. I'm just the one cleaning up your messes.”

She couldn’t believe a woman like her was accusing an agent like herself of being obsessed. Far from it. This scientist with way too much free time on her hands was proving to be more annoying than Beakley would like to admit.

“My attention stunts? You got up here in a helicopter!”

“What other choice do you leave me?!”

Beakley was getting sick of this woman. She didn’t have time for this.

She pushed her, pinning her wrists to the ground. Help was on the way, but she would have Heron arrested before that.

And yet, to her surprise, she was met with a smile.

“Oh, pretty forward, aren’t we, 22?”

If Beakley had had to describe her tone, it would have been - flirty? That couldn’t be.

“What are you talking about?”

The smirk didn’t fade. “If you wanted me like this, all you needed to do was ask. I suppose, this is the city of love after all…”

Beakley wanted to loosen her grip, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t let herself get distracted. This was just Heron’s way of attempting to throw her off.

“The only place I want you is behind bars. You are nothing but my assignment!”

Bentina held her stern gaze against the sudden fire in the scientist’s eyes.

“Oh, come on! Aren’t you having at least a little bit of fun? You chose this life the same way I did. Don’t you feel the tension?”

It was a trick. Beakley wouldn’t respond.

“Tracking down the enemy, trying to catch them, just barely having them escape, only for your paths to cross again next time?”

Now that made her take offense.

“I am NOT letting you escape.” To prove her point, her grip tightened.

Heron lifted her head slightly, looking even deeper into the agent’s eyes.

“Don’t be so sure, ma chérie.”

With these words, she took a breath and hit her elbow against her dress pocket, smashing something inside.

Before Beakley could realize what was happening, smoke started to rise from where she had aimed the hit. The same concept as the rocket.

As quickly as she could, Bentina also took a breath and held it. But it was a bit too late. She had to cough and let go of the woman underneath her to cover her face with her arm.

Naturally, this allowed the scientist to wriggle her way out of the position.

Beakley tried to grab her, but everything happened so fast, it was no use.

She heard something explode.

“I’ll see you next time, 22!”

The next thing she saw was Heron standing at the safety fence, having damaged the metal enough to break her way through it.

She had dropped her cloak and jumped off the platform.

Bentina stumbled towards the hole in the fence to discover that Heron had leapt and - taken flight. A pair of metal wings on her back allowed her to soar away safely.

She formed a fist and punched the still intact part of the fence. She had been so close.

Next time, she would get her.

She remembered what Heron had said about chasing the enemy. What would be fun about needing to take care of such a frustrating person’s messes?

She’d put an end to her. For SHUSH’s and everyone else’s sake.

I suppose this is the city of love after all…

The villain’s words echoed in her head. Maybe it was a bit for her own sake as well. And maybe this one time she would consider not including every part of a conversation in her misison report.

Maybe even she could make an exception once in a while.

-----------------

I don't know if it counts as light angst, but it was what i was originally going for, Beakley is so bitter...! <3 Once again, hopefully you enjoyed it either way!

Happy holidays 🎉✨

#duckblrsecretsanta2023 #ducktales #beakheron #bentina beakley #black heron #ducktales 2017 #writing this was such fun i read your character list and was like WAHHH >< such good choices......

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lananiscorner · 5 months

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The Leviathan's Tail

Summary:

Strife has lost count of the many, many times he has tried to conquer the obstacle course called "Leviathan's Landing". Dis has not. She decides to provide him with a little hint...

Notes:

Yes, I am still alive. This is the first thing I've written in months, so probably rusty as fuck. Anyway, his was written for Darksiders Week 2023, Day 1: Celebrating Genesis. Can't say I liked Leviathan's Landing--quite the opposite in fact, but bless whoever found that little exploit for the third section of it.

Disclaimer: This work was written for publication on Archive of Our Own and my personal Tumblr (lananiscorner) and is not for profit. Any re-publication on for-profit/monetized sites/apps is not authorized or supported by me. If you come across such a re-publication, please leave a comment in my tumblr ask box. Podfics and translations may be authorized upon request.

Fic text beneath the cut.

The platform collapsed under his feet once more, and so did what little was left of his patience. Strife cursed as he fell through the void, seemingly endlessly, before one of the giant, undead snakes that had made its home in there found him and catapulted him back up to the beginning with an unceremonious flick of its tail.

Leviathan’s Landing, Vulgrim had called it, and now Strife finally understood why.

“Have you been attempting this ridiculous excuse of an obstacle course again, brother?”

“Of course not,” Strife scoffed in response. “I just came here for my daily dose of void diving.”

He wasn’t sure if War had been making fun of him or not. It was hard to tell with the big guy, and the fact that he and Strife had not had much to do with each other before defecting from the nephilim did not help. He had been a part of the Crimson Oath—meaning what you say but never saying what you mean had been second nature to Strife, drilled into his very being from the day he took the crimson. War, on the other hand, had been fighting at the front of Absalom’s forces, a vanguard, a bruiser, as brutally effective as gracelessly blunt, and in many ways his demeanor came to match.

Even now, as War raised an eyebrow ever so slightly before turning back towards the serpent hole, Strife was not entirely sure if he had even noticed the sarcasm in his brother’s reply. Strife was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, though. If even one good thing had come out of their third visit to Eden, it was that Strife had learned his younger brother was a lot smarter than one would assume from a front line fighter who had gotten hit in the head a couple dozen of times.

Unfortunately, Strife thought with a sigh as he looked back on the increasingly narrow pillars shooting up behind him, there was a better chance of snow falling in Hell’s furnaces than War helping him with this. As he trudged back to the serpent hole, frustration slowly turned into anger.

He was supposed to be the one who was good at this sort of stuff. Finesse. Swiftness. Sure-footed work under frantic circumstances. This was his element… and yet here he was, sulking after the Creator only knew how many attempts at tackling the damned third section of this utterly insane obstacle course.

He wanted to shoot something. Or even better, punch it.

Perhaps I should ask War to let me borrow that gauntlet for a minute.

The thought had never had more appeal. Unfortunately, the cold, unforgiving universe once more decided to laugh at him.

The serpent hole was where it had always been—or, well, where it had always been since Strife and War had gotten here—for all Strife knew Vulgrim reshuffled and redecorated the place every X number of years—but War was not. Knowing his brother, he hadn’t gone back to Vulgrim and Samael for a chat either, which really left only one sensible option. With a deep sigh, Strife headed towards Dis.

“Brother, I swear by Lilith’s tits, if you went to fight Dagon without me…”

“Then what?” Vulgrim’s ‘associate’ was on him in a hot second, the bauble she had been tinkering with flung carelessly back into the void with a flick of her wrist. The smile on Dis’ face was as unmistakably smug as the tone was tantalizing in her voice. “Will we get to see an epic brawl between two of the last nephilim in existence? I would pay for seats to that show…”

“Aaaaaand you’d be getting ripped off.” Strife smiled underneath his helmet as he brought out his guns. “You wanna see a fight between any number of the four of us? Just ask who should be in charge or claim that one of us is light years ahead of the others, and you’ve got yourself a nice little show.”

Of course, the truth was it probably wouldn’t even take that much. If there were two things that were in a nephilim’s blood, it was to wander… and to fight. In hindsight, perhaps that was why Absalom’s excuse for attacking Eden had always rung so hollow for him.

“A home for our people.”

As if their people were the kind that wanted homes.

As if they would not get bored less than a month into living there and move on to another planet to mess up.

As if any permanent settlement was not only unrealistic and completely out of character for almost all of them, but also an amazing opportunity for one of the many, many, many races who wanted his kind wiped from the universe completely to attack them where it hurt the most.

Except that was us. Strife hated it when the little voice inside his head was right. It was us who wiped them from the universe. Didn’t even need another race for that.

“Hey, Dis, you wouldn’t happen to have seen War, would you?”

There was no point in lingering in the past, no matter how many times its ghosts tried to claw their way back into his mind.

He often wondered how many centuries he was going to have to remind himself of that fact before it finally worked.

“The big guy?” Dis looked up from whatever potion she had been brewing—where had she even been hiding the vials and ingredients?—and nodded towards the serpent hole. “He bought some more trinkets from me before going to the arena. I thought you’d already demolished the place?”

Strife shrugged. “Yeah, pretty sure we did. But then again, War’s the kind that doesn’t mind repetition.”

“But you do?”

“Sure do. It’s boring. And I’ve got better things to do with my time.”

Dis grinned ear to ear. “Like tackling Leviathan’s Landing for the two-hundred and sixty-eighth time?”

Oh you little demon bit— “I have not—”

Suddenly, the temptation to shoot her was almost unbearable. Strife knew the feeling. The itching at the back of his neck. The tingling in his veins. The blood lust that was so common for all of his kind. Too bad all the stuff she sold was useful. And she was kind of cute. For a demon anyways.

“It has not been two-hundred and sixty-eight times.”

“Oh it has.” Dis shook the vial she was holding twice and smiled as it turned from dull gray to vibrant blue. “I counted.” She gave him a quick wink. “Your enthusiasm and tenacity really is quite endearing.”

“I’m gonna shoot you just for that tone in your voice.”

Strife sighed. He wanted to say he couldn’t quite place why it pissed him off so much, but unfortunately he could. That dreadful mixture of cheeky seduction and almost mothering ‘bless your little heart, you tried’ kind of condescension was something every nephilim had known from the day of their creation.

“You know, Dis… if you’ve got nothing helpful to say, maybe say nothing at all.”

“Very well,” Dis scoffed. “Go catch a Leviathan’s tail then, for all I care.”

Whatever warmth had been in her voice had turned into to ice. Strife was hardly surprised. A slighted demon sounded like she wanted to murder him. In other news, fire was hot and Samael could not be trusted. He watched her float back to her books and beakers and whatever else she had stacked up in that makeshift laboratory of hers, took a deep breath and holstered his guns.

There were other demons to kill in the arena. No need to waste his time and ammo on the demon who was supplying him and War with upgrades.

He was just about to enter the arena and find out which section exactly War had run off to, when he caught the glimmer in the distance.

How he had never noticed it before, Strife couldn’t tell. His senses were usually unusually sharp—more so than most other nephilim’s in fact—it had always given him an edge he had sorely needed. Perhaps he had always been to distracted by conversing with War. Perhaps the angle had never been right. Either way, he could see it clearly now—the unmistakable glow of a creature core, and a big one at that. Strife stepped over the serpent hole and headed down the rune-riddled path towards the core instead.

It led him back to the big door. As once before, the keys he and War had found throughout Hell’s realms materialized automatically, shooting forth into their locks, no doubt drawn in by some powerful magic. There were not enough of them, of course. There hadn’t been last time either, and both he and War had agreed to leave the door alone until they had found a sufficient number to open the door.

As much as Strife loved a mystery, right now, the idea of what was hiding behind the gate was not nearly as interesting to him as the glow high above it, little more than a glimmer now that his sight line was blocked by the stone wall shooting up above the door. Strife climbed up one of the torches by the side, hoping to get a better look.

Who would put a stone wall above a door in the middle of nowhere? And who would put a core up there? And what kind of co—Oh.

He found the answer as he was balancing on the edge of the torch, flames licking dangerously close to his dangling scarf. From up here, he could see most of this corner of the void. He could see the entrance to the Boatman’s Labyrinth and Dis’ lab just before that. He could see the serpent hole. He could see the entrance to the Gauntlet. He could see the beginning of Leviathan’s Landing.

The beginning with the first pillars.

And the damned pillars.

And the second portal.

And the floating rocks that curved throughout the empty space like a winding snake.

And the third portal.

And a glimpse of the beginning of thrice-damned path he had just wasted hours on, bending gently in his current direction.

“You have got to be kidding me!”

This was it. This was the Leviathan’s tail. The end of the course. He couldn’t see if from where he stood, but he was as sure that there was one last portal up there as he was sure in his aim with his guns.

“Bless you, Dis, I promise I’ll bring you something really neat from the next vault I crack.”

Strife took a deep breath, then jumped towards the door, shadow-dashing mid air to land on one of the tiny outcrops in the rocky facade. If someone had told him to climb up this wall a week ago, he would have told them to get bent. Now, he was determined to scale this jagged piece of floating rock even if it was the last thing he was going to do.

As it turned out, getting above the door was the easy part. Getting up the wall behind it… Strife cursed under his breath as he tried to scale the rocks. Why did Lilith had to have been so incompetent at creating a hybrid between angels and demons? Where were the wings? You’d think that would be the first thing she would have taken from the angels. The wings. But noooooo. All he had was this stupid shadow wing thing he had gotten from Samael.

He had lost count of the many times his fingers had slipped from cracks to small and thin for a firm hold by the time he felt ready to climb back down again. Even though he was on the scrawny side as far as nephilim went, there was no way to get a good grip here. He almost missed the balancing act that was the pillars in the first section of Leviathan’s Landing.

Balance…

The idea that had sprung into his head was frankly crazy and likely to end with him losing parts he would hate to miss, but when had that ever stopped him? Strife shook the tension and soreness out of his limbs, then tackled the wall again.

This time, he planted one of his twin daggers firmly in the deepest horizontal crack he could find and clambered up onto it with as much care as he could muster. The tempered demon steel bent ever so slightly under his weight, but still, his feet remained steady. He had stood on worse. He just needed to put the thought of an arm’s length worth of razor sharp steel out of his mind.

The second dagger went into another split in the rocks, this time blade up. It was risky, but he could do it.

Strife took a deep breath, jumped up onto the hilt and immediately vaulted even higher, to grab the ledge at the top of the cliff. He hung on by the tips of his fingers, but he was going to be damned if he was going to quit now. With one last huff and a curse, Strife pulled himself to the top.

The core was humming quietly in front of him, its magic vibrating in the air, soft as the buzz of a bee on a warm summer’s day. It almost seemed to mock him with how peacefully it sat there, considering the violence this obstacle course had inflicted on him each time he had tried to get here the ‘right’ way.

“You little sucker…” Strife grabbed the core quickly before the universe could pull some new cruel joke on him and catapult it out of his reach by some contrived shenanigans.

I can already hear War’s response, Strife mused as he climbed down carefully, retrieving his daggers along the way. “You have not only cheated the creator of this course—you have cheated yourself.”

War could get bent. At the end of the day, Strife now had three Leviathan cores and War had none. And that’s what really mattered.

His brother was waiting for him by the serpent hole when he returned. Going by the few bits and pieces of demon that still clung to parts of War’s armor, it had been an entertaining run.

“So… how far did you get?”

“I stopped after the hundred and sixty-fifth wave.” War shrugged ever so slightly. “The arena is starting to bore me.” Then, he nodded towards his older brother. “I assume you tried the leviathan’s trail one more time?”

“Actually,” Strife grinned, even though he was fully aware War could not see it, “I grabbed the leviathan by its tail this time.”

War sighed. “You make as little sense as ever, brother.”

“Thankfully.” Strife thumped him on the shoulder quickly. “Now, shall we return to our regularly scheduled hunt for minor demon lords with delusions of grandeur?”

A rare smile graced War’s usually stern face. “Yes. Let’s go and kill Dagon.”

#Darksiders #Darksiders Week 2023 #Darksiders Week #darksidersweek2023 #Day 1: Celebrating Genesis #my fic #The Leviathan's Tail #Darksiders War #Darksiders Strife #Darksiders Dis

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aesopsharpmybeloved · 2 months

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Tess' Sharpuary - 24. Slytherin

Young Aesop Sharp takes his very first journey to Hogwarts.

chapter specific tags: prequel, friendship, coming to hogwarts

relationships: aesop sharp & aesop's auror partner, aesop sharp & abraham ronen

24. Slytherin (2.7k)

tw: mentions of parent death

The young lad had been shaking with anticipation as well as anxiety ever since he first stepped foot on the Hogwarts Express. At first, he didn’t understand why his mother insisted he ride the train, as they lived pretty much just around the corner from Hogwarts. So, instead of simply using the Floo to get to school, they had to Floo all the way to London instead, then take a carriage from the Diagon Alley to the King’s Cross station, so Aesop could spend several hours on a train going someplace he saw so many times in the distance just during his and his mum’s leisurely strolls. Well, he always saw the top towers at the very least, anyway.

However, he had to admit that he wasn’t exactly opposed to his mother treating him to an ice cream and hot chocolate in this neat little sweets shop before he was to depart, and once he actually did step on the train, he knew what his mother meant by saying that ‘he should experience the first train ride’. His stomach was all jittery, and pure excitement pumped through his veins as he slowly walked through the train and looked into the many compartments in search of a very special person - his best friend Ashley. He didn’t see her on the platform or boarding the train, which brought him a bit of panic, but his mother calmed him down by saying that seeing as there were hundreds of students boarding, each one having at least one parent around, finding one person among the moving crowd was next to impossible.

So, his trunk loaded, he wandered the corridor on his own until he finally spotted the very familiar shock of long blonde hair. Only, she wasn’t alone. He shyly opened the compartment door and peeked inside. His friend immediately noticed him and stood up to envelop him in a big hug, making the already blushing Aesop’s cheeks redden further. The other occupant of the compartment gave a chuckle. “See, I was right in keeping you here, he said in a jovial voice, “there’d be no point in both of you roaming the train and constantly missing each other, when your friend here proved that he would indeed actively seek you out.”

Aesop fidgeted with his hands, as was his habit when he was feeling bashful when Ash finally let him go. “Aesop, this is Abraham Ronen,” she said happily, “I wanted to go find you, but he told me it’s smarter for me to stay in case you walked by. And he was right!” Abraham extended his considerably larger hand towards the 11 year old boy, who first looked at it with mild apprehension, but then did reach out his own to shake.

“Now,” Abraham said after the two younger students sat down, “you two needn't worry, I shan’t bore you the entire way to Hogwarts - I’ll have to meet with the prefects in a while, and will most likely only join you again shortly before we arrive at Hogsmeade station.” Ashley’s eyes lit up with curiosity: “Ooh, you’re a prefect?” Abraham’s face once more stretched in a large smile. Aesop didn’t know why, but the older boy’s presence was strangely calming, friendly and warm. Despite his initial shyness, he had to admit he already felt safe with him.

“That I am! Or, that is, I was,” the older boy said and fished in his pocket for something. He pulled out a small green pin badge upon which stood out in silver letters ‘HEAD BOY’. The two young students marvelled at the badge.

“As you can see, I am a Head Boy now, so I can make sure you two and your classmates receive the proper care from your prefects, regardless of the house you’ll end up in. Given that I still have a few minutes to spare, why don’t you humour me and tell me a bit about yourself? Which house do you think you will be in, which house you’d like to be in, maybe something about your family while you’re at it?”

And so Aesop and Ashley talked, sharing their views on the houses as well as their backgrounds. Abraham smiled sadly when they revealed they both came from families with a missing parent. Then however came the time for Abraham to depart for his meeting and he prepared to leave the compartment: “When I come back, we could perhaps play a little game, what do you two say? Probably best not to chance playing Gobstones here but I’m certain we’ll figure something out. Just know that you’re never truly alone in Hogwarts - while the prefects can be something of a bore oftentimes, and the professors can be quite annoying with their insistence upon favouring studies over fun, I promise each and every one of us is looking out for you, and we want you to be happy and thriving at the castle.”

And with that and a little wink, he was gone.

So the two friends, now on their own, swiftly changed into their uniforms and chatted quietly among themselves, looking out of the window at the landscape changing before their eyes. They were only interrupted once, by a sweet looking middle aged woman pushing a tray of frankly mouth-watering sweets before her. Neither of them being able to resist, they put the pocket money from their parents together, and got a nice little mix of the offered confections. With each minute, their anticipation was rising, and so did their nervousness, and by the time the sun dipped below the horizon and it started getting dark, both were positively buzzing where they sat. Abraham came back, and indeed played a little game of exploding snap with them, this time speaking about himself, his father, and his belief that fun and studies go hand in hand.

And then, when he bid them goodbye and good luck as they boarded off the train, they gave each other one more look and gulped. They were to follow a man with a large lantern, who Abraham told them was the gatekeeper, while their older classmates walked off into another direction entirely, led by the prefects. The Head Boy was unwilling to reveal to them how they’d be getting to the castle, as did their parents and all other wizards and witches they knew, so Aesop and Ashley were very much in the dark.

However, as they emerged from the path along some thick trees and onto a large bank, Aesop instantly knew why everyone was being so secretive.

He originally thought that he’d be feeling absolutely normal when he finally saw more of Hogwarts than the upper towers, but the opposite was actually true. When he finally saw the huge castle in all of its grandeur, his heart first skipped a beat and then began beating hard and fast. A chill ran through him that had nothing to do with the cool evening air, and he felt a smile spreading on his awestruck face.

It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. The castle wasn’t even huge, it was completely humongous! Gargantuan! It stood strong above the dark murky waters upon a hill, proud and majestic, the upper towers he remembered seeing so many times in his life looked as if they were actively attempting to touch the stars up above. “Do you too have gooseflesh? Because I absolutely have gooseflesh,” Ashley whispered into his ear, and Aesop wasn’t even able to reply verbally, merely slowly nodding his head, still mesmerised by the sight.

As per the gatekeeper's instructions, they boarded the small boats that were waiting for them at a little pier in groups of four, and the boats set sail as soon as the last student from each group settled upon it. Aesop was once more mesmerised by the lights from the castle reflecting on the dark water. But then -

A shriek cut through the cool air.

“Hush now, lass!” the gatekeeper called over his shoulder at the source of the scream. It was a slight ginger girl, who was shaking and pointing somewhere on Aesop’s left. The lad turned his head, and only just managed to catch a glimpse of it with his own eyes: a dark tentacle disappearing beneath the water’s surface. “That is the Giant squid,” the gatekeeper called, his voice completely calm as if there wasn’t a monster of leviathan proportions swimming below them. “There is no need to fear it - it has lived here for hundreds of years, and will hopefully keep living here for hundreds more, as not only does it not harm students, it’s been known to actually engage in play with them. So please, no screaming and shrieking.”

Aesop’s heart still missed a beat when another tentacle shot through the water. One more thing he’ll need to get used to.

While he kept his eyes trained on the squid, he didn’t immediately notice the wall covered by ivy before them, and when he finally did, he was certain they were going to crash into it. Except they didn’t, as there was no wall. Instead, the boats effortlessly glided into what appeared a sort of underground harbour, where they all climbed out of the dinghies. They followed the gatekeeper once more, up the stairs and into some sort of courtyard. He instructed them to form a line, and enter the castle through huge double doors. He too bidded them all good luck, and departed shortly.

Their queue most likely wasn’t as organised as the gatekeeper would’ve liked, but still they did make their way inside. Another man already waited for them there, looking down at them from the top of more stairs. He appeared old, but by no means frail, and he was dressed in very fine dark purple garments.

“Welcome, first years,” he spoke, voice both authoritative and soft, “I see all of you survived your journey here in one piece. Today, you’ll be joining your classmates in their studies here at Hogwarts, and you’ll be doing so sorted into four houses. Gryffindor values those of a brave, adventurous and chivalrous heart. Hufflepuff will be most appealing to those who work hard and are able to execute patience, as well as loyalty to their friends. Those with a sharp mind, creative soul, and those seeking knowledge will find their place in Ravenclaw. And finally, wizards and witches able to survive all kinds of situations using their resourcefulness, cunningness, and ambition shall be right at home in Slytherin.

“As a way to motivate you to reach your greatest potential, as well as uphold the high standard of Hogwarts students, you will be rewarded points for your successes. However, should you misbehave, or fail to attend to your duties as students, points will be taken from you, and therefore your whole house. In just a few short moments, we shall enter the Great Hall where you will be sorted into your respective houses. Let us make this queue a bit neater then, shall we?”

Some shuffling and moving later, the bunch of eleven year olds stood ready in rows of four, and the door in front of them opened, revealing another already opening door. They walked slowly, led by the wizard in purple robes. Aesop sensed Ashley trembling slightly next to him, so he did the only thing he thought of - he took a hold of her hand. It was warm and clammy, but Aesop didn’t mind, as his presence and touch seemed to help put the girl more at ease. This innocent childish action of comfort was well hidden by the students both in front of and behind them.

His mouth went dry, and his heart started beating wildly again when they walked through the last door, and found themselves standing in a giant room, which seemingly had no ceiling. Aesop stared above himself with a slightly opened mouth, the night sky above them littered with a million stars. Below the sky, thousands of levitating candles burned bright, just like the stars did. They were walking between four gigantic tables, all of them hosting dozens upon dozens upon dozens of students, and Aesop felt uncomfortably exposed despite being nestled safely in the middle rows of the group with Ashley. In front of them another large table stood, this one nearly horizontal to the student tables, and many adult wizards and witches sat there. His professors for the following seven years, Aesop realised.

In the centre stood a lectern in the shape of a majestic golden owl, and finally, in front of it, a simple wooden stool with a shabby, old looking hat sitting atop it. There were several moments of silence, but then Aesop’s eyes opened wide as the hat began moving. A hole opened at one side of it, and… was it singing? Indeed it was! The hat started singing, the hole in it appearing to move like a mouth would. It sang of the four houses and then of Hogwarts as a whole. It was rather strange, Aesop thought.

“I shall now call out your names alphabetically. The one I call shall come up here and take a seat on the stool, after which I’ll put the Sorting hat upon your head,” the purple clad wizard said once the hat finished its song. Aesop squeezed Ashley’s hand.

One by one, their group was becoming smaller and smaller, and Aesop had to let go of Ashley once her name was called. She walked towards the stool tensely, and gave a little jerk a second or two after the hat was placed upon her golden head. It took about fifteen seconds, but finally the hat cried loudly: “Hufflepuff!”

The Hufflepuff table broke into applause, and Ashley jumped from the stool as if a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. She gave Aesop a brilliant grin before literally skipping towards her house table. It was then Aesop remembered her mother had been a Hufflepuff as well. Aesop swallowed.

His father didn’t attend Hogwarts, he was a muggle. And though Aesop was very young when Theodore Sharp died, Aesop was certain his father would’ve been a Hufflepuff too - hard working, patient and loyal. Or would he have been a Gryffindor? Brave and chivalrous? His mother was a Slytherin, but only just so - she told him she was almost a Ravenclaw. Back then, she didn’t tell Aesop how the sorting worked. Which was perhaps for the best; he wasn’t sure if he’d believe her had she told him the sorting was done by a shabby old hat.

Aesop considered which house he’d like to be in. And he still hasn’t decided when his name was called. His hands were now clammy too as he made his way towards the stool and sat down on it.

He soon understood why Ashley jumped upon having the Hat sat on her head.

“Let’s see what we’ve got here, hm…” came a voice from somewhere, and Aesop soon realised that somewhere was his own head. “You’re brave enough, that’s for certain, and you are thirsty for knowledge as well… Above all else, however, I can sense that you want to prove yourself. You want to prove that Aesop Sharp won’t ever back down from a challenge, and I can sense you’ve enough resourcefulness to ensure you shall succeed. I could see you performing brilliantly in whichever house I could sort you into, but I can only see you thriving in one - “

Suddenly, the voice left his head and started coming from atop it: “Better be - Slytherin!”

The Hat was lifted and he stood up again. The students sitting at the right side of the room were clapping and beckoning him closer. He gazed to the left, immediately catching Ashley’s eyes. She was still smiling, and clapping as well. He returned her smile, and began making his way to his new housemates.

A pair of sparkling eyes captured his own next. Abraham was smiling brightly, patting the spot next to him. “I knew it since I first saw you - you’re one of our own, young Aesop.”

The eleven year old grinned at the older boy - better be Slytherin indeed.

---

a/n while adult sharp is completely irresistable to women with his handsome face and roguish personality, little sharp is completely irresistable mainly to older witches who want to pich those adorable rosy cheeks 🤭

Thank you for reading! ❤

[AO3] - [Sharpuary 2024] - [Masterlist]

#sharpuary #sharpuary 2024 #aesop sharp #professor sharp #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #hogwarts legacy fanart #aesop sharp fanart #fanfiction #drawing #digital art #artists on tumblr

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