#this was mostly a thing of...i made the first one in like. mid 2022 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

patrophthia · 1 year

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love is sour grapes | theo. nott

pairing: theodore nott x hufflepuff!reader

genre: fluff, angst (if you squint), unrequited love but not really, everyone is an idiot, self indulgent, not beta read.

word count: 5.9K

originally posted on ao3 on: 06/28/2022

"Uhm— would you like to—"

He turned to me calmly, the rest of his appearance devoid of emotions.

"—go out sometimes?" I finished. "As a Date?"

One, two, three beats passes and all Theodore did was look at me. No answer. No emotions. No words. Nothing.

Or Theodore is a quiet piece of shit and that leads to miscommunication and complicated feelings

Theodore Nott. The one constant thought that has been running through my head way too often for my liking. He was handsome, quiet, smart, lanky in all the right ways and never seemed to be engaged in a conversation —or at least one where he was talking instead of just listening and listening and listening.

Talking to him had always been one of my goals, it shouldn't have, really, it shouldn't. But somehow I had found myself more than just infatuated with him.

Theodore was an observant person, if he noticed me studying him, he never confronted me about it.

But, as my friend says it, Theodore Nott is sour grapes. Or, in better words, love is sour grapes. If this even was love that is.

"I think you should just talk to him," Hermione says kindly. "I still don't think that he would be good for you but if you fancy him that much then go ahead."

"If you want a death wish that is," Ron snickered. "Honestly, can't you have picked a better guy to fancy? I mean— Nott? Of all people."

"Do you want me to fancy Malfoy instead? Would that make you happy," I quipped, hearing Hermione hide a laugh between closed lips. "Or god forbid, you."

Ron face contorted to one of offense. "I'm notthatbad."

"Yeah sure," I murmured, with no malice. And turned to Harry who had been quiet about the situation ever since he found out. "What do you think?"

Harry shrugged, looking startled. "I don't know," He said first, and then. "I think you need someone better than Nott. You're friendly and thoughtful—" he paused hesitantly. "—and you're quite awfully pretty."

"Thank you, Harry." My eyes fell downwards with no real intention. I was none of those things. "But I don't think he'd agree."

"What does it matter if he agrees," Hermione said loudly. "Harry's right. You're all of those things. It's his loss if he doesn't go out with you. You're fit, incredibly so. I would be happy if someone like you were to ever fancy me."

If Ron had a reaction to those words, neither Hermione nor Harry noticed.

"Well," I said as a group of Slytherin walked into the Potions classroom. Potions would be starting any minute now, and I needed to head into class before Snape does. "I'll keep that in mind. If all fails, I'll just have to marry you, Mione."

With a final smile, I bid them a quick goodbye and made my way into class. The three of them heading to which ever direction they needed to be.

The class quickly starts, and Snape wasted no time in assigning me a potion to make. Invigoration Draught. The potion that energizes the drinker. How fun.

The ingredients were mostly easy to obtain. Peppermint, Honeywater, Stewed Mandrake then there's Dried billywig sting: my biggest nightmare.

I was only so tall and the shelves where the ingredients were stored stood so so high. I would've used a stool had it been free to use, but a Slytherin had already been occupying it and it would be rude if I were to take it away from them.

There was a cough behind my back, and then, a hand reached; over me and towards the exact thing I needed. Dried billywig sting: my new biggest enemy.

The person pulled back —jar filled with billywig in hand, and stood still as I turned to them. The jar had a decent amount of billywig in it, if they needed it I could still manage to ask for just enough for my potion. That is if they were kind enough to let me have some.

"Could I—" I paused mid-turn. There stood Theodore Nott in all his glory. Dark eyes, dark hair and facial features that looked like every part of him was chosen by Aphrodite herself, watching me with a raised eyebrow. "—uhm, could I have a few of those? I needed it for my potion but I couldn't reach it."

Theodore blinked once, looking unfazed and handed the jar over.

I blinked twice the time he did, opening up the jar; intending on taking out a few and handing it back over when he stopped me.

"I don't need it."

His voice.

"You don't?" I find myself asking, trying not to breathe too loud or to forget how to even breathe in the first place.

Theodore shook his head once. And reached up for something else. Had he seen me struggle and had gotten it just for me?

"Thank you," I tell him. Theodore nodded once, accepting it as it is. I think you should just talk to him. Goddamn it, Granger. "Uhm— would you like to—"

He turned to me calmly, the rest of his appearance devoid of emotions.

"—go out sometimes?" I finished. "As a Date?"

One, two, three beats passes and all Theodore did was look at me. No answer. No emotions. No words. Nothing.

Whether he was scrutinizing me or not, I didn't know. What I do know is that I was wrong and stupid. And my friends were wrong too.

He needed more than me. I might be friendly and kind and maybe quite awfully pretty. But Theodore needed more than me.

"You know what." I cleared my throat, smiling. "Forget I said anything. Have a good day, Nott."

•••

I had been down lately. My friends noticed that. Even Harry and Ron noticed it and they were as daft as they come. Whenever they asked me what was wrong I find myself telling them that I was just stressed over my O.W.Ls.

Which I was. But it was mostly a lie to cover up something I was more upset about. I had idiotically asked Theodore out and now I have to face the consequences of being rejected.

I think —in some ways— him having not even say 'no' or have given a clearer answer was more upsetting then if he had just said no out loud.

It was stupid of me to get my hopes up and think that anything else would've happened. It was stupid for me to even think I was in his league.

It was also late. I hated walking back to the common rooms in these hours but it was my fault for procrastinating my essay until the night before it was due so I had to rush the entire thing in an hour in the library. I had only hoped that Umbridge wouldn't punish me for being out pass curfew.

I had one more hall left to turn before I reached the Hufflepuff's barrels when someone shouted out my surname, halting me in my place.

Fast pace footsteps approached and then, donning from head to toe in pink was Umbridge. Fuck.

"What do you think you're doing out of your dorm at this time?" She asked quickly, her toad like face twitching with irritation.

"I was in the library and lost track off time," I quickly confessed. "I'm so sorry. My dorm's close by and I—"

"It was my fault professor." His voice. "I’d asked for her help and lost track of time. She was trying to head back before curfew but it seems like her efforts were to no avail. I can only hope you would excuse her and blame me for my faults."

Umbridge looked baffled. He talked? Theodore talked? She made that annoying noise that she can't seemed to get rid off. "Well." her voice laced with false kindness.

"I see no point in deducting any points." She then turned to me. "But I will be expecting to see you tomorrow for separating yourself from help at a time as late as this. Merlin knows, it's dangerous for a girl to wander alone at this time."

"Just me?" I asked, slightly confused.

Her eyes flashed with annoyance. "Do you expect Mister Nott here to be punished for wanting to make sure you got back to your dorm safe?"

That wasn’t what he— okay. Fine. Whatever.

"Now, go off," she said with a wave of her hand. "And Theodore, would you be so kind as to walk her back? I don't want to know the troubles she might cause when I let her out my sight."

Theodore nodded, doing as he was told and took a step forward. He looked behind his shoulders, his eyes meeting mine and tilted his head slightly: signaling that we should leave now before it gets worse.

I avoided Umbridge's eyes and stepped forward, trailing after Theodore. Detention. All because I was too lazy to finish my essay any other time I had.

I think I feel my eyes water. I think it feels harder to breathe. I don't know for sure how I feel exactly despite dejected and disappointed with myself.

If I had just made one different choice, I wouldn't have to have detention with the one professor known to physically harm the students. And to top it off, being walked back to my common room by the boy who recently rejected me whilst bottling up my feelings about everything I did wrong.

"You don't have to actually walk me back." I paid no heed to the crack of my voice. Theodore does though. "It's late." I pointed out the obvious. "You should go."

Theodore glanced at me quickly. His look was so quick that I suspected he had planned to only spare me a second of his time. But something about me, something about how vulnerable I must've looked, had him pausing.

"I shouldn't." He said slowly, his tone so attentively that it made me think that he had saw something in me that I never did. "I can't leave you."

"You can." I don't think I can handle being near him any longer, not when he was studying me so cautiously. "It's only a few steps away, I can assure you I'll be fine."

Theodore eyes flickered down the corridor quickly, finally tearing themselves away from me and looked forward, continuing towards the direction of my common room.

When we finally reached where we needed to be. Theodore stood back watching as I tapped the barrels carefully.

I looked over my shoulder once the path opens up. Smiling slightly when I found his eyes on me. "Thank you for taking the blame, Theo. You didn't have to and you did and spared me way too many house points. I really appreciate it."

He made a noise of acknowledgment, taking my word as it is. And then, as he was about to step away. "Goodnight."

•••

I think I hate life. I might be wrong but life sucks. Especially when you have to repeatedly write the same sentence over and over again with a magic quill that tears through your skin.

That can't have been a legal source of punishment but Umbridge made the rules so it was no use fighting her about it.

My hand hurts. Holy fuck, does it hurt. I don't even have to glance down at it for me to see my skin burning red, bleeding slightly. Curved out in the sentence. I will not be out pass curfew.

"You alright there?" Came a voice.

I looked up quick and abruptly, sure that I'll get whiplash from my actions; to find George Weasley watching me with interest. I smiled, subconsciously hiding away my hand. "I'm fine."

"You sure?" He followed up. "You don't look too good."

I nodded, trying to look as reassuring as possible. "I'm fine, just got a paper cut is all."

He fixes me a look of disbelief but let it slides. "You should go," he said with a small smile. "I think Ron's looking for you? Something about slimey snakes and what not."

"Oh." The sound slipped out. "Thank you, I'll go find him."

It was weird to see George without Fred but I decided that I didn't want to know why. They were probably setting up a prank and I had walked right through it.

Bidding George a goodbye. I continued down the corridor, turned the corridor and found the trio standing by with Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott by their sides. This can't be good.

Is this what George referred to when he said Ron was looking me about some slimey snakes?

"There she is," Malfoy said with mild annoyance. "We've been looking for you."

"You have?" My eyes drifted to Hermione but she only shrugged, looking as clueless as I was. "Why?"

Malfoy took a steps towards me. "You've been with Professor Umbridge?"

"Yes." I nodded. "Why?"

"Did she give you the quill?"

What was he playing at? Why was he interrogating me? "Yes." I repeated. "Why?"

Zabini rolled his eyes and step up, seemingly having enough of Malfoy's dramatics. "Here." He handed out a bottle. "It's Murtlap essence. Suppose to help you with the cuts. Nott made it for you."

"He did?" I asked, taking the bottle of Murtlap essence from Zabini's hand. I turned to look at Theodore, finding his eyes glued to my bleeding hand that was grasping the bottle. Jerking my hand back, I smiled, thanking him. "Thank you for this, I really appreciate and for uhm— thanks again for covering for me last night."

Everyone —all but Theodore and I— brows raised upwards, surprised. So they didn't know about what had happened last night.

Theodore showed no outwards reaction, having just watch me with a straight face and patient eyes. Then he turned to Zabini and tilted his head slightly. Zabini seemingly understood, slapped a hand over Malfoy's shoulder and with a goodbye, steered the blond boy away.

"Bloody hell," Ron said exasperatedly. "Did that really happen?"

"Nott made you Murtlap essence?" Hermione asked more to herself than anyone else. "How did he even know you needed it?"

"I—" I stopped, glancing at my hand. "—I was out pass curfew and Umbridge caught me. Nott took the blame for it. I think Umbridge was too surprised with hearing him talk to properly acknowledge that he too was out of the dorms pass curfew. She said she won't take away any house points but gave me detention as a punishment."

"That's all?" Hermione said. "Why would Nott take the fall for it and then proceed to make Murtlap essence for you if there wasn't anything in it for him?"

"I don't know," I told her, shrugging. "He also walked me back to my common room and wouldn't leave me when I insisted otherwise."

"Do you think." Ron started. "Maybe that Nott fancies you?"

"No." I was quick to shake my head in disagreement. "He's doesn't. He's made that clear already."

"He has?" Harry asked loudly, brows knitted together.

"Yeah," I murmured. "That day I talked to the three of you. I asked him during class if maybe we could go out on a date sometimes and he didn't say anything. Not a yes. Not a no. Nothing."

"That's terrible," said Hermione sympathetically. "Honestly, what kind of person rejects someone then proceed to do things as if they cared for them."

"Hermione," said Harry cautiously, eyes shifting between me and her. "I don't think that does anything to soothe her nerves."

"Sorry." Hermione blinked in realization. "It's just— you deserve better. I don't understand a thing Nott's doing and I don't want you to get hurt in the process."

"He could be figuring out his feelings," Ron suggested making Hermione shoot a sharp glare his direction. Ron tsked. "I'm just pointing it out."

"Well it's not helping." Hermione said in an obvious tone. Her eyes drifted down to my hand, scanning the words then looked back up. "I think you should head back and take care of your hand. You don't want it to scar now, do you?"

I nodded, waving. "I'll see you at dinner?"

Hermione let out an agreeing hum and went on her way, Ron pestering her from behind. Harry hadn't moved though, looking at me with furrowed brows. "Could I maybe have some of your Murtlap essence?"

"Yeah." I handed it over. "I didn't know you had to endure Umbridge as well."

"Didn't think it was important to mention." He pulled out an empty ink pot from his bag and twisted it open, pouring just enough essence to not overflow it. Harry put the cap back on and handed it back over. "Don't tell Hermione or Ron, will you? I don't want to be a bother."

" 'course." I smiled. "I won't tell anyone."

•••

What are the chances that I get caught being out pass curfew twice in the same week. Pretty fucking high because I was once again being called out late at night.

Two sets of foot steps stops before me and it took me roughly five seconds to realize just how grave the situation was. Draco Malfoy stood tall and smug with Hannah Abott by his side looking tired —if a little irritated by Malfoy's presence.

"What are you doing out, badger?" Malfoy asked.

"I was heading back from the kitchens." Malfoy made a face and glanced down at my outfit that looked way too overdressed to be heading down to the kitchens.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." It was clear that I was caught in a lie. Goddamn you, Radiohead concert. "I must've lost track of time."

Hannah looked like she wanted to say something but bit her tongue. Not wanting any of her words to be counted as it being biased just because I was her dorm mate.

And then, as I waited to hear Malfoy state just how many points he wanted to take away from my house. He said with annoyance, "you can go." Unfazed to the look of surprise that showed up on both mine and Hannah's faces. "Tell Nott he owes me one."

•••

I don't think my head could —or will ever fully comprehend "tell Nott he owes me one." I don't know why exactly but that sentence feels way more ominous than it ought to be.

ott does not owe him anything for letting me go.

And I don't think I owe Nott anything for helping me be let go? maybe I could've phrased that better. What I meant to say is that: I owe Nott nothing for his friend's behavior towards me. At least I don't think I do.

But things works in mysterious way. Like how —despite how ironic I find it— Nott always find out a way to help me out during potions. Especially when it came to the ingredients.

Though that was the least of my concerns right now. My concern, for now, is revolved between the three books in my hand that I can't decide —for the life of me— which one to buy.

On other occasions I would buy all three and went about my day but I had only brought enough money for one book and food for the rest of the day at Hogsmeade, and my friend didn't seem like they'd be heading back to Hogwarts for extra cash any time soon.

I looked over my options once more, trying to figure out which one would be the bang of my buck.

Option one: All Or Nothing, a novel about a girl trying to navigate relationships with the people she surrounded herself with and see whether they would react differently when she gave them her all, and then; how they would react when she gave them nothing. 863 pages.

Option two: Glimpse Of Us, a novel about a boy who always —and I mean always, sees his ex in the girls he dates after her. 295 pages.

Option three: Listen boy, a cheesy novel about a girl who had little to no interest when it comes to going on dates with guys but when her roommate compliments her on the socks she wore, she finds herself wanting to do nothing but go on dates with them. 530 pages.

Both Glimpse Of Us and All Or Nothing seems like sad book. Maybe it's time for me to find some joy in my life —which seems to seize to exist after whatever happened between me Nott happened. As I turned, intending to put those two books back in their respective places. I was more than surprise to find Nott looking at me with a slight fascinated tilt to his head.

“Which is it?”

"Hmm?" I find myself humming. Should I pick All Or Nothing instead? Wouldn't that make me seem more intelligent than a book about a girl being in love with her roommate.

"Which one have you chose?" He clarified, and I might've imagined it —no I definitely did because, Theodore Nott's lips did not just curve up at all.

"This one." I lifted up whatever was in my right hand which just happens to be Listen boy. And there goes sounding more intelligent in front of Theodore. "It seems cute."

"Is that all?" He followed up and it's then that I realize he was wearing a forest green that had no reasons to make him look as good as it did. Green really was his colour. "Nothing more?"

"No." I shook my head. "Ideally I would like two get these two as well," I told him truthfully. "But I only brought enough for one —technically two, if I stretched it out but that would mean no snacks for the rest of the day so it's a no."

"I'll get it for you then," he says casually. Like it's something you say to someone you recently rejected. Like he was walking around, waiting for someone to tell him that they haven't brought enough cash for the other books they wanted. "Would you like anything else? I am more than willing to indulge you."

"No, I don't." I stop myself. Yes, I mean. Because I really did want other books, especially if someone else was paying for it but I know that my poor heart cannot handle it.

It is already breaking apart at how handsome he looked with his forest green jumper and black ironed pants. His hair, a usual dark brown, just the slightest tinge brighter under the sunlight (which is both a sight for sore eye and a rare view since I only ever see him in the dungeons, hunched over a bubbling pot and disgusting lightings) which flatters him in all the best way possible.

And no, my heart is not picking up a million paces over I am more than willing to indulge you in that very tone of voice, in that very set of clothes, in very set of lighting, by that very Slytherin that I could not seem to get over.

"You don't have to," I insisted, trying to not shiver under his gaze. He narrows his eyes and it says way more than words could ever say. He knows he doesn't, he wants to. Oh lord save me. "Maybe this one? It's cheaper."

"That was not my question," he said curtly. "I asked you if you'd like anything else, not which option was cheaper."

What are we even talking about now? Was he planning on buying me the three books in my hands and more or was he planning on letting me pay for my choice then pay for the others I couldn't afford.

Is my face that much of an open book? Because, without even having to say it. Theodore had already answered my questions for me. "I'll buy you the three in your hands and anymore you'd like. I'd buy you the whole store if you wanted me to."

I think I'm having a heart attack. Or dreaming. Or both. I can't tell. Maybe I'm dreaming while having a heart attack? Who knows. All I know is that Theodore Nott did not just say that. Did he?

"No." I shake my head quickly, maybe even too quickly. "No, I— these three are more than enough. I promise to pay you back when we get back to school."

Theodore fixes me a look. One ridiculing me to the point that I wished —more than anything— that I was a bludger being hit so hard I pass through the most oblivious of oblivions. I'm so sure that that would be less stressful.

"I mean it!" I press all three books to my side. "I promise, and I always keep my promise. I won't take advantage of your money, I will get it and find you as soon as I—"

I didn't see the point in finishing my words because he was smiling. And laughing. I think. It's a mixture of those two and it's so heavenly that I believe in everything ethereal alike.

Theodore noticed my silence, the side of his lips curved the slightest bit (so so small and tiny that you couldn't even spot it), looking at me with clearly amused eyes. And then, "did you not hear me?"

"What?" The words slipped out easily.

"I told you I'd buy you the whole store if you'd like and you think I'd want my money back?" He said slowly. "I couldn't care less about the money. I just wanted to make you happy. Salazar knows, I've made you upset more often than I could count between my fingers."

Now what the fuck was he on about. He has never made me upset —save for rejecting me that one time, but I understood it, he didn't like me, that's that. I have gotten over. I think. But I'm more than sure that I could count that one event between his ten fingers.

Unless Theodore only had one finger? Does he? I cast a glance down to his hands and there are those ten fingers. Ten exactly. Not one short or one more. Ten and a couple of silver bands that made me want to do nothing but sit and stare at his long, pale, slim fingers. And how they would feel around my— nope, nope. Absolute not.

"Merlin, we leave Nott alone and he goes around trying to find his girlfriend." Girlfriend?

When the owner of the voice, Zabini, finally arrives before me and Theodore, I was no where near surprised to see the other Slytherins in their group by his side.

Parkinson. Malfoy. And finally, Greengrass —whom I was actually friends with.

"Well?" Zabini muttered, eyes shifting between me and Theodore, and then landing on him solely. "Are the pair of you planning on standing here the whole day?"

"No," I said with narrowed eyes. "I don't know what he's doing here, I'm just trying to buy a book."

Zabini raised a brow. "Is that all, princess?"

"Pretty much." This feels like a trap. Is this a trap? "Are you planning on going somewhere with Theo?"

"Theo," Zabini tsked with a smirk. "I've never once called him that and I've known him for about five year now. How cute is that."

Yep. This is definitely a trap. I think I'm going to die now.

Theodore, with a roll of his eyes, made his way to my side and pried at the books pressed to my waist. Confused, and a little daze at the warmth of his fingers grazing my hip, I let go of the three books and watched him with wide eyes.

He seemed (and looked) unaffected by how everyone eyes were now on him. Walking around and picking another set of the exact books I'd picked out. Theodore paid for them without a word, asking for separate bags and handed a set over to me.

And then, quietly he says. "Zabini's an idiot." He smiled a winsome one and I am so sure I'm dying and this —whatever this was— is just a figment of my imagination that my brain curated during my dying breath. "I like it. Don't ever stop calling me Theo."

•••

Blaise Zabini is trying to be matchmaker. I'm sure of it. Or else he wouldn't be bothering me as much as he did now. I can't seem to peacefully spend time in the library without being interrupted by him.

"Hello," he greeted, smiling as he sat opposing me. I raised an eyebrow and he was able to read me quick enough, telling me the reason he was here. "Just wanted to let you know that Nott finished those three novels he bought and he's looking for someone to talk it over with a cup of tea —or coffee, whichever one you prefer."

Is he implying what I think he's implying? "Why is that any of my concerns."

"I thought you might be interested." He shrugged. "Since you know, you fancy Nott and all."

"I don't fancy Nott." I told him. An obvious lie, and Zabini knew that too. "And he doesn't fancy me so it's just a waste of time."

"Nott doesn't fancy you?" He's laughing. He's actually laughing. What was so funny about the truth? "What makes you think that?"

"He literally turns me down I when I asked him out," I said blankly. "It's pretty clear, isn't it?"

"And what exactly did he say?" Zabini asked playfully, as if he was humoring me.

"Nothing," I answered. "He just looked at me and said nothing, I don't think I need anything else to tell me that it's an obvious no."

"Nothing?" Zabini repeated with a grin. "Have you heard of being speechless? Or better yet, you know Nott doesn't really speak right?"

"That doesn't excuse him saying nothing when I asked him to go on a date," I countered.

"It doesn't," Zabini concurred. "But Nott's an idiot." Funny, Theodore said the exact same thing about Blaise. "Did you know Nott did Malfoy's work for a week without complain just because he let you go that one time you snuck out?"

No. I don't say. Malfoy did say Nott owe him one but I hadn't thought it important. "What does that have anything to do with what you were talking about?"

"Because," he says exaggeratedly. "Nott fancies you back. I suspected that he liked you since third year though he won't admit it. He won't even admit that he fancies you now but he's incredibly easy to read."

I shut my book and looked at him. Really looked at him. Trying to gauge whether he was messing with me or telling the truth. "What am I supposed to do with this information?"

"Ask him out again," he suggested lightly. "Give him another chance for being the biggest twat there is."

"And have him reject me again?"

"He won't," Zabini says calmly. "He'd burn the entire school down before even thinking of rejecting you."

I hesitate. "I don't want to embarrass myself again."

"You won't," he says with a roll his eyes. "Look I know being rejected is hard, I think I get it. I've never been rejected before. But I also know that the both of you like each other just as much and it's getting tiring seeing you beat around the bush."

"Nott won't make the first move. He thinks you hate him now for not answering when you ask so you'd have to ask again —if you still want to be with him that is. Do you? Or else I've been doing all this for nothing."

Yes. I think. I'm pretty sure that I want to be with him. "Do you know where he is?"

"Oh," Zabini said delightedly. "He's actually coming here right now. I told him I was coming to find you but never gave him a reason why. He'd be here any —speaking of the devil. Hello, Theo."

Theodore doesn't bother to return his greeting. Eyes heavily set on Zabini in a glare that had me shivering just from the side lines. Then his eyes turn to me and his glare on hardens.

"Hi, Theo." I don't think I've ever since Theodore like this before. "What are you doing here?"

"What did he do?" He asked instead.

"Nothing," I said quickly. "He did nothing. We just talked."

"About?"

"Stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Yes. Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Oh you know," I huffed. "The weather. Coffee. You."

"Me?"

"Yes." My lips fold itself into a thin line. "Actually Theo. Could I ask you something?"

His gaze softens when he nods.I am more than willing to indulge you.I am so sure now, more than ever, that love really is sour grapes.

"Uhm— would you like to—"

His eyes widened, large as saucers as he processed in my words.

"—go out sometimes?" I finished. "As a Date?"

One, two, three beats passes and all Theodore did was look at me. No answer. No emotions. No words. Nothing. And I am briefly reminded of everything that happened.

And then, "yes," he says. "Yes, I would."

•••

Theodore really did read those books he bought me. This I knew now as I sat under the sun on one of Hogsmeade many benches with Theo to my left.

This part of Hogsmeade was quiet, it wasn't too far from the shops but far enough for no one to frequent by. A few people passed by trying to move from destination to destination but none noticed the bench wedge into the middle of the place where two fifth years were sat, talking about everything and anything under the moon and stars.

"So you liked it? You liked 'Listen, boy'?"

"I did." He was smiling and I wished more than anything that I'd had a camera to capture every smile he had given me during the pass hours. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes," I laugh and his smile widens. "It just doesn't seem like you. It's a cheesy and corny book and you're always so dark and broody about everything."

"I'm not dark and broody about everything," he denied.

"You are!" I countered. "You were even dark and broody when I'd first asked you out."

"That's 'cause I didn't know what to say," he says truthfully. "You could've said yes, that would've made it easy for the both of us," I told him. "I really couldn't. You don't deserve just a yes. You deserved everything, not something so simple."

"But that yes would've made my week, Theo."

Theo looked like he was about to say something before he changed his mind. "I'm sorry I didn't say yes when you'd first asked me. Could you ever forgive me?"

I want to kiss him until his lips, his skin, his hands, his scent, every tiny bit of him is imprinted in my mind. "Yes." I say. "Yes, I think I could."

Theodore chuckled, his nose crinkling at the motion and something between that laugh and smile of his causes me to lose it.

My hand reached forward first, palm pressing against his cheek, pulling him closer to me and pressed my lips onto his. I kissed him once then as I reached to pull away; I find that both of his hands had found their way to my cheeks, holding me still as he kissed me back.

Theodore pulled back, the tiniest of smile on his lips that had the smallest smudge of my lipstick attached to it. And he tells me, as if he had been thinking of this for days, years, lifetimes. "You are the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

And when I smiled, Theo leans back in. Peppering quick kisses on my lips, my nose, my cheeks, my forehead, anywhere I would let him kiss me; he will cherish it.

Once Theo finally pulls back —and this was for real this time, no more quick kisses. He looks at me and I know deep down that he will be the death of me when he says. "You are going to be the death of me."

— from bee: the thing about theo is that we know nothing about him so you can’t say that this is ooc :>

#theodore nott x you #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott fluff #theodore nott imagines #theodore nott fanfiction #theodore nott #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #Spotify #🧳: my writing

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m-writes-stories · 7 months

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The Kansas City Couple Part 1

Takes Place During the Off Season (Mid-February to May)

Word Count: 878 words

Warnings: talk about a car accident (I think that is it please let me know if I forgot something)

Interviewer: Welcome to the new NFL based Documentary: “The Kansas City Couple.” This is a documentary about Y/N and Travis Kelce. Travis mostly got his fame during the 2020 season in which the Kansas City Chiefs won Super Bowl LIV. But the couple got the eye of the public in 2022 when Y/N posted on her Tik Tok talking about the couple’s relationship.

Y/N: Hi, my name is Y/N Kelce. In 2022 for Travis and I’s anniversary I made a slide show, and I posted part of it on tik tok. And let's just say it blew up. The video was just about how Travis and I have been friends since 2nd grade. And ever since then we have been inseparable since. Travis and I have, like I said, been friends since 2nd grade. We kinda, not really, started dating our freshman year of high school. But we were really just best friends. Our junior year, we officially started dating but it was off and on. After Christmas that year we were together and stayed together for a year. Until January of our senior year when I got in a car accident and that put a barrier between Travis and I. But we got back together in April before we graduated. Then we went to college together. And since the end of our sophomore year, of college,we have lived together. Travis and I got married in 2017, after what felt like forever of telling people it was at some point gonna happen.

Travis: I told people forever that I was gonna propose. But I never thought the time was right. I finally proposed at Christmas in 2015. I decided that it was time and she said yes. We have been together for 15 years and 5 months. When people hear that we were high school sweethearts they always say that we will get divorced soon, but that still hasn’t happened and it won’t happen. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t think that I would be able to function as a NFL player without her. She makes sure my bag is packed each week. I pick my outfits but she checks my bag.

Interviewer: Has she had to bring things to the games that you have forgotten?

Travis: Oh 1000%. I’m pretty sure she brought extra socks at the first home game last season. She is my lifeline, she makes sure I don’t get fired.

Y/N: I brought his jersey to him one time. That he was 100% sure that he wouldn’t forget. I think I bring him something for each home game. I don’t check his bag as thoroughly for home games. For away games I spend like 2 hours checking his bag the night before he leaves. And then like another hour and a half before he leaves. I literally check every pocket and pouch, everything.

Interviewer: What would you say is the worst part about the off season?

Travis: I would say mine is the fact that I don't really have an off season. I’m still studying film. I do routine workouts. My brain is still focused on football even if we aren’t actively practicing or playing.

Y/N: I would say mine is that it feels super short. Cause it isn’t really that great of a time. Because it is like 4 months long. Which like Travis said, isn’t really an off time. It’s probably more chaotic than the actual season. Well, training camp is the most chaotic. And not just cause Travis is doing things, but I also have to get ready for the next season, basically right after the superbowl. We do as much work as we can in the off season: like work on the house, charity work, cleaning as much as possible. Because we all know I have the hardest time keeping the house clean during the season.

Travis: Yeah, like Y/N said, we don’t have a lot of time during the season for bigger projects or things we need to do. And so the off season is the best time to do that. So it makes it hard for us to really have down time. We spend a lot of time during training camp apart so we spend the off season doing projects together.

Interviewer: What is your favorite part about a game?

Travis: Besides doing what I love… I love being able to see Y/N in the stands. We spent a long time trying out different seats at Arrowhead. Trying to find the seat we can see each other the best. And we finally did. And now it makes me the happiest. Especially when I get a touchdown or a good catch and I look up and see her sitting there..

Y/N: You're gonna make me cry. My favorite part is seeing him do his favorite thing. Seeing him play and live out his dream of playing in the NFL. I remember being in high school and he always told me that he would play his heart out in the NFL for me. And now he is.

Interviewer: Alright, the next time you will see this amazing couple will be during Training Camp.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Ok? How do we feel is it exciting? Do we like it? Give me feedback please!

Love, M

#travis kelce fanfic #travis kelce #travis kelce x reader #kansas city chiefs

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ausetkmt · 7 months

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Where It’s Most Dangerous to Be Black in America

Black Americans made up 13.6% of the US population in 2022 and 54.1% of the victims of murder and non-negligent manslaughter, aka homicide. That works out, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data, to a homicide rate of 29.8 per 100,000 Black Americans and four per 100,000 of everybody else.(1)

A homicide rate of four per 100,000 is still quite high by wealthy-nation standards. The most up-to-date statistics available from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development show a homicide of rate one per 100,000 in Canada as of 2019, 0.8 in Australia (2021), 0.4 in France (2017) and Germany (2020), 0.3 in the UK (2020) and 0.2 in Japan (2020).

But 29.8 per 100,000 is appalling, similar to or higher than the homicide rates of notoriously dangerous Brazil, Colombia and Mexico. It also represents a sharp increase from the early and mid-2010s, when the Black homicide rate in the US hit new (post-1968) lows and so did the gap between it and the rate for everybody else. When the homicide rate goes up, Black Americans suffer disproportionately. When it falls, as it did last year and appears to be doing again this year, it is mostly Black lives that are saved.

As hinted in the chart, racial definitions have changed a bit lately; the US Census Bureau and other government statistics agencies have become more open to classifying Americans as multiracial. The statistics cited in the first paragraph of this column are for those counted as Black or African American only. An additional 1.4% of the US population was Black and one or more other race in 2022, according to the Census Bureau, but the CDC Wonder (for “Wide-ranging Online Data for Epidemiologic Research”) databases from which most of the statistics in this column are drawn don’t provide population estimates or calculate mortality rates for this group. My estimate is that its homicide rate in 2022 was about six per 100,000.

A more detailed breakdown by race, ethnicity and gender reveals that Asian Americans had by far the lowest homicide rate in 2022, 1.6, which didn’t rise during the pandemic, that Hispanic Americans had similar homicide rates to the nation as a whole and that men were more than four times likelier than women to die by homicide in 2022. The biggest standout remained the homicide rate for Black Americans.

Black people are also more likely to be victims of other violent crime, although the differential is smaller than with homicides. In the 2021 National Crime Victimization Survey from the Bureau of Justice Statistics (the 2022 edition will be out soon), the rate of violent crime victimization was 18.5 per 1,000 Black Americans, 16.1 for Whites, 15.9 for Hispanics and 9.9 for Asians, Native Hawaiians and other Pacific Islanders. Understandably, Black Americans are more concerned about crime than others, with 81% telling Pew Research Center pollsters before the 2022 midterm elections that violent crime was a “very important” issue, compared with 65% of Hispanics and 56% of Whites.

These disparities mainly involve communities caught in cycles of violence, not external predators. Of the killers of Black Americans in 2020 whose race was known, 89.4% were Black, according to the FBI. That doesn’t make those deaths any less of a tragedy or public health emergency. Homicide is seventh on the CDC’s list of the 15 leading causes of death among Black Americans, while for other Americans it’s nowhere near the top 15. For Black men ages 15 to 39, the highest-risk group, it’s usually No. 1, although in 2022 the rise in accidental drug overdoses appears to have pushed accidents just past it. For other young men, it’s a distant third behind accidents and suicides.

To be clear, I do not have a solution for this awful problem, or even much of an explanation. But the CDC statistics make clear that sky-high Black homicide rates are not inevitable. They were much lower just a few years ago, for one thing, and they’re far lower in some parts of the US than in others. Here are the overall 2022 homicide rates for the country’s 30 most populous metropolitan areas.

Metropolitan areas are agglomerations of counties by which economic and demographic data are frequently reported, but seldom crime statistics because the patchwork of different law enforcement agencies in each metro area makes it so hard. Even the CDC, which gets its mortality data from state health departments, doesn’t make it easy, which is why I stopped at 30 metro areas.(2)

Sorting the data this way does obscure one key fact about homicide rates: They tend to be much higher in the main city of a metro area than in the surrounding suburbs.

But looking at homicides by metro area allows for more informative comparisons across regions than city crime statistics do, given that cities vary in how much territory they cover and how well they reflect an area’s demographic makeup. Because the CDC suppresses mortality data for privacy reasons whenever there are fewer than 10 deaths to report, large metro areas are good vehicles for looking at racial disparities. Here are the 30 largest metro areas, ranked by the gap between the homicide rates for Black residents and for everybody else.

The biggest gap by far is in metropolitan St. Louis, which also has the highest overall homicide rate. The smallest gaps are in metropolitan San Diego, New York and Boston, which have the lowest homicide rates. Homicide rates are higher for everybody in metro St. Louis than in metro New York, but for Black residents they’re six times higher while for everyone else they’re just less than twice as high.

There do seem to be some regional patterns to this mayhem. The metro areas with the biggest racial gaps are (with the glaring exception of Portland, Oregon) mostly in the Rust Belt, those with the smallest are mostly (with the glaring exceptions of Boston and New York) in the Sun Belt. Look at a map of Black homicide rates by state, and the highest are clustered along the Mississippi River and its major tributaries. Southern states outside of that zone and Western states occupy roughly the same middle ground, while the Northeast and a few middle-of-the-country states with small Black populations are the safest for their Black inhabitants.(3)

Metropolitan areas in the Rust Belt and parts of the South stand out for the isolation of their Black residents, according to a 2021 study of Census data from Brown University’s Diversity and Disparities Project, with the average Black person living in a neighborhood that is 60% or more Black in the Detroit; Jackson, Mississippi; Memphis; Chicago; Cleveland and Milwaukee metro areas in 2020 (in metro St. Louis the percentage was 57.6%). Then again, metro New York and Boston score near the top on another of the project’s measures of residential segregation, which tracks the percentage of a minority group’s members who live in neighborhoods where they are over-concentrated compared with White residents, so segregation clearly doesn’t explain everything.

Looking at changes over time in homicide rates may explain more. Here’s the long view for Black residents of the three biggest metro areas. Again, racial definitions have changed recently. This time I’ve used the new, narrower definition of Black or African American for 2018 onward, and given estimates in a footnote of how much it biases the rates upward compared with the old definition.

All three metro areas had very high Black homicide rates in the 1970s and 1980s, and all three experienced big declines in the 1990s and 2000s. But metro Chicago’s stayed relatively high in the early 2010s then began a rebound in mid-decade that as of 2021 had brought the homicide rate for its Black residents to a record high, even factoring in the boost to the rate from the definitional change.

What happened in Chicago? One answer may lie in the growing body of research documenting what some have called the “Ferguson effect,” in which incidents of police violence that go viral and beget widespread protests are followed by local increases in violent crime, most likely because police pull back on enforcement. Ferguson is the St. Louis suburb where a 2014 killing by police that local prosecutors and the US Justice Department later deemed to have been in self-defense led to widespread protests that were followed by big increases in St. Louis-area homicide rates. Baltimore had a similar viral death in police custody and homicide-rate increase in 2015. In Chicago, it was the October 2014 shooting death of a teenager, and more specifically the release a year later of a video that contradicted police accounts of the incident, leading eventually to the conviction of a police officer for second-degree murder.

It’s not that police killings themselves are a leading cause of death among Black Americans. The Mapping Police Violence database lists 285 killings of Black victims by police in 2022, and the CDC reports 209 Black victims of “legal intervention,” compared with 13,435 Black homicide victims. And while Black Americans are killed by police at a higher rate relative to population than White Americans, this disparity — 2.9 to 1 since 2013, according to Mapping Police Violence — is much less than the 7.5-to-1 ratio for homicides overall in 2022. It’s the loss of trust between law enforcement agencies and the communities they serve that seems to be disproportionately deadly for Black residents of those communities.

The May 2020 murder of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer was the most viral such incident yet, leading to protests nationwide and even abroad, as well as an abortive local attempt to disband and replace the police department. The Minneapolis area subsequently experienced large increases in homicides and especially homicides of Black residents. But nine other large metro areas experienced even bigger increases in the Black homicide rate from 2019 to 2022.

A lot of other things happened between 2019 and 2022 besides the Floyd protests, of course, and I certainly wouldn’t ascribe all or most of the pandemic homicide-rate increase to the Ferguson effect. It is interesting, though, that the St. Louis area experienced one of the smallest percentage increases in the Black homicide rate during this period, and it decreased in metro Baltimore.

Also interesting is that the metro areas experiencing the biggest percentage increases in Black residents’ homicide rates were all in the West (if your definition of West is expansive enough to include San Antonio). If this were confined to affluent areas such as Portland, Seattle, San Diego and San Francisco, I could probably spin a plausible-sounding story about it being linked to especially stringent pandemic policies and high work-from-home rates, but that doesn’t fit Phoenix, San Antonio or Las Vegas, so I think I should just admit that I’m stumped.

The standout in a bad way has been the Portland area, which had some of the longest-running and most contentious protests over policing, along with many other sources of dysfunction. The area’s homicide rate for Black residents has more than tripled since 2019 and is now second highest among the 30 biggest metro areas after St. Louis. Again, I don’t have any real solutions to offer here, but whatever the Portland area has been doing since 2019 isn’t working.

(1) The CDC data for 2022 are provisional, with a few revisions still being made in the causes assigned to deaths (was it a homicide or an accident, for example), but I’ve been watching for weeks now, and the changes have been minimal. The CDC is still using 2021 population numbers to calculate 2022 mortality rates, and when it updates those, the homicide rates will change again, but again only slightly. The metropolitan-area numbers also don’t reflect a recent update by the White House Office of Management and Budget to its list of metro areas and the counties that belong to them, which when incorporated will bring yet more small mortality-rate changes. To get these statistics from the CDC mortality databases, I clicked on “Injury Intent and Mechanism” and then on “Homicide”; in some past columns I instead chose “ICD-10 Codes” and then “Assault,” which delivered slightly different numbers.

(2) It’s easy to download mortality statistics by metro area for the years 1999 to 2016, but the databases covering earlier and later years do not offer this option, and one instead has to select all the counties in a metro area to get area-wide statistics, which takes a while.

(3) The map covers the years 2018-2022 to maximize the number of states for which CDC Wonder will cough up data, although as you can see it wouldn’t divulge any numbers for Idaho, Maine, Vermont and Wyoming (meaning there were fewer than 10 homicides of Black residents in each state over that period) and given the small numbers involved, I wouldn’t put a whole lot of stock in the rates for the Dakotas, Hawaii, Maine and Montana.

(https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2023/09/14/where-it-s-most-dangerous-to-be-black-in-america/cdea7922-52f0-11ee-accf-88c266213aac_story.html)

#Where It’s Most Dangerous to Be Black in America #Black in america #Black Lives Matter

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8one6 · 1 month

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Ever since I was in high school (in the before times, in the long, long ago) I had dreamed of taking road trip. Just me, my car (in high school it was a Cadillac Hearse that got absolutely awful gas mileage and high school me used to bitch about gas when it went over a $1 a gallon), and the open road, but I never managed to do it. Sometimes it was money, sometimes it was lack of opportunity, sometimes it was just the fear of doing something new.

In my mid-30s I finally did it and let me tell you it was one of the best experiences of my life.

A few years ago (2022 to be exact) my boss made me take a vacation in the spring (mostly because I had two years of pto from not using it during the lockdown years, but also because he was legitimately concerned with my stress levels, but anyway) and that year I decided to take two weeks to see all three Meow Wolf locations in one big trip. (Convergence Station is the coolest one btw, with Omega-Mart a close second.)

I70 through Kansas is a zen experience if you make the drive at night. Endless fields of stars and farmland, accompanied by whatever podcast you queued up for the drive.

Visited family in Denver, spent a day at Convergence Station, and the drive to Santa Fe was like driving through a postcard!

The House of Eternal Return was neat (IMO it relies a little too much on backstory you can only really get from sitting down and reading a lot of the SCP-style documents lying around the house, but unless you rented the entire place for the day you're competing with dozens of other people who are also trying to read the same thing.), I stayed at this cool, fully restored Route 66 vintage motel called the El Rey Court (A++, would stay again), and then I was off to Las Vegas.

There's a trick i40 plays on you. You'll be driving through some incredibly beautiful but still harsh desert wasteland (I passed more than one husk of an abandoned building on that stretch of highway) and then all of a sudden you're in a lush green forest. It was seriously as close to passing from one Minecraft biome to another as you can get in real life. (I also stopped at Meteor Crater National Landmark. It was cool.)

Just outside of Vegas I got two incredibly singular experiences. The first was seeing a tumbleweed in real life for the first time. I swear, I was alone in my car and I said out loud "Holy shit they're real!!!" The second was driving through an actual sand storm. In hindsight I should have pulled over and let it pass, but no one else on the road was doing it, so I just crawled through it at 30mph.

I spent a few nights in Las Vegas. Visited Omega-Mart (super cool, I recommend it), watched Blue Man Group (also very cool, also highly recommend), got to see a Penn & Teller show live (a fucking dream of mine since I was a little kid!!!), and had the best meal of my life.

Honestly, before that trip if you told me there was a difference between a $20 steak from Longhorn and a $100 steak from an actual steak restaurant I'd have called bullshit. I was in Las Vegas, I figured "This is likely the last time I'll take a trip like this, fuck it, why not splurge."

Oh my sweet raptor christ! The $100 steak was worth every cent!

What followed was a day of driving through beautiful parts of Nevada, Utah, and Colorado, including the most nerve-wracking stretch of highway through the mountains (literally through them in one spot. The Eisenhower tunnel is a little more than a mile and a half of tunnel bored straight through the spine of the Americas). A brief stop to sleep, and then 14 hours straight on home.

It was a fantastic trip. Two weeks away from home, from work, from any responsibility, the first time off since 2019. Two weeks of moving to my own schedule and crossing things off of the bucket list.

#road trip #meow wolf #las vegas #santa fe #denver #american southwest #journal #blog #vacation

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skelleste · 4 months

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2023 Art Summary

Some of the many things I worked on over the past 365 days. More details below.

Happy New Year!

Just like last year, 2023 was full of even more character art, including a brand spanking new OC. You haven't seen much of the comic yet, because it's not done, but there's been progress on that in the background as well. I also started commissions last March. None are featured in this post so I could focus more on original art, but I wanted to give a special thank-you to all my past commissioners. Not a single one of you were a customer service nightmare, in fact it was quite the opposite. I appreciate everyone who's been kind enough to give me work and treat me well.

The rest of this post is going to be some of my favorite pieces by month, and a little about them. I usually spare my followers from most details in my posts, because there's often not much of interest to the public to say, so this is mostly self indulgent.

January

I decided to revisit Tom and Maudlin, as I hadn't drawn them much since creating them. Whenever I make a new character of importance, I try to go out of my way to put them in varied poses and expressions so that I am able to understand how their bodies work by the time I need them for a real project. It's also a great way to explore their personalities, although I feel that I'll have to push Tom's emotional side more in the future.

February

Props for the comic! It sucks to have to design things on the fly, so it helps to have notable objects designed beforehand. Especially if it's important to the plot. Some of these appear in more panels than others, but it smooths out the comic process nevertheless to have ample references on hand.

March

More character designs to spare me from designing mid-comic production. If they don't have lines in the comic, then I ask random people to assign names to them to make it fun, and because it's easier to keep straight who's who when they're not named Man 1 and Man 2. Left to right, they are Johnifer (you can already see why I name the ones with dialogue myself), Wanda, Jean Vincent, Booker, Charles, Maribelle, and Gertrude.

April

It'd be silly of me to pretend as if 90% of my output isn't shitposts. When you dedicate most of your art time to a project, then you're not going to end up making any other art unless you satisfy primitive monkey brain somehow. In my case, that's usually addressed by drawing funny shit. Early this year is when I discovered how easy it is to crack jokes with Scatterbrain. This goofiness is now embedded into her personality permanently. Expect more of this.

May

April-June is when I do my Art Fight preppin', which usually consists of me making a list of my most neglected OCs and giving them some attention. I also try to get around to eventually making all of them a reference sheet in this style, just so they have something standardized between them. This year, Walla Walla had her turn. She's a shitpost character, so I won't be drawing her much again, but she's a good excuse to draw some J-fashion doodles. My interests outside of cartoon stupidity don't really make it into my art often, so she's a minor outlet for some of it.

June

I've made even more character designs this year than last year, but they were all background characters, making Raoul the only new important one. He's been officially-unofficially written into the story since 2022, but it's very hard for me to make OCs that are written before they are designed. Everyone else was designed first and assigned a role in the plot later, so he got put off for a good while. I finally got around to it though, after I killed some darlings. He is now an all-new species, and I modified the chain design to something less clunky compared to what would be historically accurate.

July

July is, of course, Art Fight month. All other art is put on pause. This year, my favorite attack was a drawing of Enchanted Bones for my friend Bugles. I drew the character independently from the background, which is why the lighting situation is as unfortunate as it is, but we don't talk about that. Thank you to everyone who attacked me and made awesome art, I'll revenge you maybe in a few years. Sorry for the wait, but the backlog is mighty long.

August

Stanson got a slight redesign in the last year, so he can fit with the style of the comic better. He's actually the oldest character out of the bunch. I had no purpose for Scott when I made him and threw them together in the same folder. I had a few one-off designs that I figured I'd keep around in case I ever did an OCT, but these two got yoinked out of it when I started getting story ideas for the them. Stanson is a cowboy (not really), so it became a western setting to make sense of it. I plan on giving him the same sketchpage treatment the other characters have gotten, but I've been putting it off purposely for a while. You'll just have to wait.

September

And there it is, the inevitable page of Raoul getting into various mischief (and subsequently getting his ass beat half of the time). He has a very abrasive personality that gets him into trouble. I don't want the comic to be heavily action-based, but he naturally lands himself in these positions and it lets me draw characters in new situations. His introduction to the story is still a long way off at this point, but I can't wait to pit him against Scott in some slapstick shenanigans.

October

Spooky month is incredibly busy for me in real life, so there isn't as much time for art as I'd like there to be. That's why I dedicated all my time that month to trying to get Halloween art done in time. I've been a fan of Homestar Runner since childhood, and as soon as I thought that Raoul would pull off a Jigen Daisuke look, I knew I wanted to do a full Homestar-esque set of costumes. The other ideas quickly fell into place. My version came out way more detailed than theirs usually are though. The spirit of Halloween possessed me.

November

I started going full gear on the comic around this time (I think 28 hours in one week when I stayed home), so there's an absence of polished personal art here. Scatterbrain eating some spaghetti is my placeholder art for "I worked on a website a bunch instead". It's far from done, but I've made major strides since then.

December

A secret santa gift for my friend, Toby! I continued doing mostly comic work, but I also made room for a secret santa and scheduled a bunch of art trades to complete between December and March. The rest still have to be completed, so you'll see that throughout 2024. Anyway, Toby's OC, Thomas, is based on the state of Michigan. I plastered him on a postcard in front of a highway sign with some Robins because they're the state bird.

There were many more drawings of course, and you can find them scrolling through my Tumblr, or on my DeviantART (I switched to Tumblr as my main site in late August). I hope the new year brings many improvements and happiness for everyone. Last year my goal was simply to start on the comic, which I did, but it was also to get it uploadable, which I didn't. I'm gonna have to aim for the same goal again. Life things were largely fine but still tumultuous enough to throw me off-course, but now my most dangerous family member has moved out and it should be somewhat safer to live here. Not 100% safe though. It never will be. I generally avoid talking about the comic extensively as I won't have a solid release date for some time, so this is the last you'll hear of it for now outside of the rare WIP screenshot. Wish me luck and have a wonderful new year!

#art #artists on Tumblr #Happy New Year #long post #art summary #2023 summary #summary of art #summary of art 2023

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lamonnaie · 9 months

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bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

Thanks for the tag @fiercynn !! This is a really lovely idea :)

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself hi i'm mars, i use she/her pronouns, i live in australia and i've been into thai/asian bl for a little over a year now. i mostly just lurk and mass rb on tumblr lol, but i'd definitely like to get to know more people !!

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom? I was actually trying to track down the exact date recently (i failed), but i watched it for the first time around mid-september 2022, ended up binging it in a day and been a part of the fandom since

favorite ship(s) patpran <3

favorite character(s) pat !! he's one of my favourite characters from any media ever. I just love how selfless he is and how he transforms through the show, and how bright he is but knows when to stand his ground. i could wax poetics about him fr <3

favorite episode(s) Whenever i watch/rewatch bad buddy i tend to binge it so i can never distinguish betweens episodes lol. In general, ep 12 is definitely one of my favs because i feel like it ties things up nicely and i like seeing them happy :) i can probably give a better answer for favourite scene...

favorite scene(s) ...which is why it's great that this is the next question!

In no particular order: the staircase proposal scene, the bus stop roleplaying scene, the post-curtain bench hand holding scene (specifically that one face pat/ohm makes which imo is the single most most heartbreaking frame in the entire show), the ep 12 post-credits scene (wait was it actually post-credits, i don't remember ajksdjf), the screaming on the rocks at the zero-waste village scene, and the rooftop kiss (ofc)

Basically i just like to see them happy (most of the time) :)

one thing you would change about the show if you could the whole making-it-up-to-wai arc was not it for me. WHY was pran the one apologising and going after him??? still makes me mad to this day, but i think i'd have a lot more animosity towards wai if ep 12 didn't exist (also all the wai redemption arcs in fanfics have made me warm up to him :P)

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people? ahhh so many!! joy of stanning a show that's finished is that it stays going through fanworks, but also now there's too many that i absolutely adore to remember in the moment, sp here's some:

we both know you're my only dream (fic) by @fiercynn: one of my favourite fics ever that i constantly go back and reread whenever i'm having a bad day (or not)

yield strength (fic) by @dulosis: the physics analogies do something to my brain /pos

10 things i hate about you (fic) by @nobodynobodyno: this one's so cute and i reread it all the time

this fmv to tujh mein rab dikhta hai by @transpat: desi moots, iykyk. but fr this holds such a special place in my heart, the lyrics are so patpran and the editing and clip choice is just *chef's kiss*

this fmv to dandelions: IT'S SO GOOD. all the parallels, the dialogue overlaying is just perfect, and the TRANSITIONS (the one at 1:28 especially)

every single one of @hereforlou's art: i'm literally obsessed, i don't always see everything on my dash so i'll literally check their tumblr every couple days. is this stalker behaviour? possibly, but if you've seen their art i think you'd understand.

Also special mention to this one gifset of the staircase proposal scene which was my first ever exposure to bad buddy, it made me watch the show to begin with, but i didn't rb it when i first saw it so now it's lost to the times 😭😭

I have an insane amount of fanfic i wanted to put here but for the sake of length of this post, i restrained myself ajskdjf

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made? i do not (yet 👀)

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) pretty much every fmv/edit that i've rewatched a couple times set to a song will make me thing of bbs lol, so some are tujh mein rab dikhta hai and dandelions from above, emily by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler because of this amazing fic, and gorgeous by Taylor Swift because of this gorgeous edit (y'all please go watch it it's amazing).

idk anything else you want us to know? It's the perfect timing for this because these are my nails right now ):)

honestly not super sure who of my mutuals are bbs moots so i'm just gonna tag some people, feel free to ignore this if you've already been tagged/don't want to do it! :)

@nobodynobodyno @dropthedemiurge @justafriend-ql @cornflowershade @hometothecanyonmoon @7nessasaryevils

If you see this and you want to do it, this is is me tagging you as well !!

#bad buddy #bad buddy fandom meme #bad buddy the series #me #lamonnaie stuff

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sareinadale · 3 months

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please tell us more about this helsa series you are writing 👀💕

nonnieeee!! but it wouldn't be a surprise now, don't you think so?

okay honestly, i wasn't planning on working on a long helsa series, though i did have a similar plan with the 'marriage of convenience' trope as the core of the series.

what started out was really just a series of twitter banters with my friend that expanded into fully fleshed plots, with some spanning over a month or three depending on how far the plot develops.

truthfully, i've been yearning to find a writing partner who could match my writing style and be excited to write SO MUCH about a ship. while helsa initially wasn't my OTP ( yes, i started out as jelsa ), somewhere in 2022, i turned into an ardent helsa shipper thanks to my other friend.

ANYWAY, back to the series ( me and my big mouth can't hold it back anymore ):

the entire premise of the story takes place after the events of Frozen 1, but not until Frozen 2. her magic is still there, just not at the forefront as it did in the first movie. and oh, yeah, it's in the mid-1800s! there's also inspiration drawn from ( majorly ) the frozen musical, a frozen heart and a little bit of dangerous secrets.

others may have written something similar like mine, but this is really an extensive series of ‘what-ifs’ that mainly focuses on the aftermath of her coronation, her struggles of trying to be a good queen for arendelle and all the times she shouldn’t hang out with hans, who showed up on arendelle after serving his prison sentence for two years ( roughly ) – which led to her falling for his pretense like anna.

of course, there's a few original characters that we made for this series! besides that, i personally have a pinterest board dedicated to hans and elsa, alongside a spotify playlist that follows their entire journey :D

there’s also an element of hans’s morally grey side, which, as santino fontana said, hans isn't what he seems to be ( meaning he has personal motivations like any other people ) and my lovely friend who writes as hans has the most detailed lore on him and everything, and i honestly couldn't be luckier and so SO grateful to know them and write together ❤️

obviously, when we started plotting, we realized that their story's going to be LONG, and we've decided to break it down into three major acts. the second act is arguably going to be the longest and where we are currently.

so, the theme of the story is the title of the series itself: 'in hindsight'.

in hindsight is basically a sequel to a prequel titled 'shattering ice'. in this one, the story explicitly deals with her first visit to the isles and meeting the star-studded cast of the westergaards whom, again, my friend here has built – completely tragic, awful, and all things negative that shows who they are as a family.

also the prequel will serve as the starting point of their relationship because we don't want to jump on that chemistry building with haste.

right now, we're mostly focusing on in hindsight and pretty much pausing shattering ice. also, because the former became a full blown series, i had to upgrade my g-drive storage hahaha so all of their past plots and current ones are safely stored in there.

all in all, this series is arguably the most special endeavor i've ever done. it's got a TON of emotional realism in there, soft moments in the form of jane austen-esque longing touches kinda way, gut-wrenching angst and a bittersweet ending ( i'm not ready for the last part, but we've planned on how the series will end ).

even in spite of our busy schedules, we found time to keep writing out the replies, info-dumping personal headcanons of our characters and hyping each other whenever the ship had their fluff / angst moment. i seriously could not thank my friend enough, and i really appreciate her for all the helsa brainrots ❤️

and finally, the reason i've not put it up on AO3 is because i didn't want that invisible pressure of needing to update it. i mean, yes, it's still ongoing, but imagine if i just upload the complete series and voila? basically giving a delight to potential readers that the series is done hahaha.

i don't foresee we'll finish it by end of this year, even though we started out since june last year. but who knows, it could end well until the following year?

okay nonnie, there you go 🤓

#long answer #nonnie gave me a truth serum #i will die on this hill writing helsa until i'm old #i love them so much your honor #helsa #iceburns #sareinadale #prince hans #queen elsa #frozen fanfiction

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lowpolynpixelated · 4 months

Text

Let's talk about handhelds!

Specifically the Steam Deck and what (at least I think) is a decent part of its success as a handheld in today’s rather stagnant landscape as far as competition and innovation goes in the gaming space. For those who don’t know, the Steam Deck is a device first released in February 2022 by game development/publishing company Valve. Valve is mostly known nowadays for being the owners and operators of Steam, the largest and most widely used online marketplace for PC gaming, but rose to fame in the late 90s for their smash hit game Half-Life as well as its sequels and expansions. During the mid-late 2010s Valve had taken a pretty big step back from game development and focussed more on running steam and supporting some of their games (Dota 2, Artifact, Team Fortress 2 just to name a few) though the support varied from game to game. But that aside, let's get into it! PART 1: The Steam Machines

During this time Valve had ALSO begun to dip their proverbial toes into the waters of gaming hardware in the form of both the “Steam Machines” as well as the “Steam Controller”. So what were the Steam Machines? Why are they important to this article about the Steam Deck and other modern handhelds? Well everything has to start somewhere, and I’m of the opinion that the Steam Deck accomplishes the original mission of the Steam Machines better than they ever did, but I’m getting ahead of myself. First announced on September 23rd, 2013, the Steam Machines were touted as a new pillar of console gaming. The aim was to provide a console-like user experience on a device with the horsepower and game variety of your average gaming PC. Runnin on a Linux based operating system called “SteamOS” valve wanted the the consoles to be an open source experience in the living room to compete with the likes of Microsoft’s Xbox consoles. So what went wrong? Well let's start with the big one: variety. I first want to preface this part with: I am looking at these pieces of hardware through the lens of someone with little technical knowledge, the average consumer if you will. I myself have a decent bit of tech know-how, but I wasn't always like that, and I’ve certainly been poor enough my whole life that knowing the biggest and best PC stuff on the market didn’t really mean I could afford it. So, why was variety a bad thing? To your usual console gamer, consistency is key. It's usually assumed by whoever is getting whatever Xbox or PlayStation what-have-you that the box you’re paying money for will play the games you put in it. And to that credit, this is usually the case! Back in the day if you bought a PS2 or a Wii, bought a game for either and slotted it in, your game box would play it no problem. This isn’t always the case for PCs however. PC games vary way more wildly when it comes to the sorts of specifications the game is made to run on, or even what hardware the PC has that can be considered reasonable for said game. The fact of the matter is that PCs are modular, which means optimal configurations and what is considered “a baseline” are changing far more frequently than in the console landscape. The Steam Machines still wanted to offer some of this variety, but in the end it backfired more than anything.

Steam Machine models ranged in price anywhere from $400 to $2000 in 2015 money when they finally released (November 10th, 2015) depending on the parts they used. And the difference between a $400 model and a $2000 model could mean not being able to play a good chunk of games on the market at the time. To your average console fan, this was perhaps too much choice when it came to finding which box to get to play all the shiny PC games they were being told they’d be able to play. Now this isn’t a matter of being disingenuous, more of an oversight. Valve wasn’t specifically trying to just target average consumers, but they did end up somewhat alienating those who didn’t have the technical know-how to figure out what model best suited the games they wanted to play. What reason would I have to buy a Steam Machine for $650 that might play all the games I want when I could just wait until November 15th, 2013 when the PS4 launched for $400 and would play all the games that came out for it? It was a perfect storm of releasing a brand new (and honestly decent) idea into an already pretty stagnant and established market and not being able to sell to people who weren’t already buying gaming computers. Steam Machines were decently popular with the PC gaming crowd. Being able to buy a pre-assembled computer with decent parts is appealing to a pretty decent chunk of people who primarily play on PC. Maybe you don’t know much about building computers and have always bought pre-built, maybe you like the specs of one of the Steam Machines and don’t mind the price tag too much. This big issue with all this though, was that almost no one was buying the Steam Machines to be a Steam Machine. To quote an article by Tyler Wilde for PC Gamer back in 2018, “Nobody was buying it with SteamOS,” Digital Storm marketing manager Rajeev Kuruppu tells me over the phone. The manufacturer had already been building the Eclipse—which is still available with Windows—when Valve pitched SteamOS, and added a Steam Machine build mid-project. That version has since been axed, and Digital Storm no longer has an active relationship with Valve.

“I think over time as the demand from customers wasn’t there we basically had no reason to speak with Valve,” says Kuruppu. Digital Storm is still open to working with Valve, so long as its customers want what Valve is putting out. Right now, they don’t.” - Rajeev Kuruppu in a 2018 phone interview with PC Gamer Executive Editor Tyler Wilde for his article “What happened to Steam Machines?” (link in sources section)

This highlights the issue beautifully. SteamOS just couldn’t make the waves Valve wanted it to with the PC manufacturers they partnered with, leading to people simply not buying the pre-built machines as what they were intended to be. So what happens now? Well, after the failure of both the Steam Machines and the Steam Controller (a topic for a different time), Valve wouldn’t try again in the hardware space until 2019 with their admittedly very impressive VR gear, the Valve Index. With the Index making positive waves in the burgeoning VR space, Valve would then go on to release another successful piece of hardware. The real topic if this article, the Steam Deck.

Part 2: The Steam Deck (part 1: Launch)

Revealed on July 15th, 2021, the Steam Deck was Valve's answer to their failed hardware attempt of the past. A handheld computer with a brand new version of SteamOS capable of playing most of your favourite PC games with a set of specs that only changed depending on internal storage (and eventually small differences in battery life.) So what changed between the times that the Steam Machine and Steam Deck released? Well, the PC and console markets (at least at the time of writing this article, 12/21/2023) are a bit more stable in how new and better parts are being pushed. Make no mistake, the PC community’s search for new and more powerful machines will always be a constant, but it's at the very least a little easier to keep up with right now. On top of that, the Nintendo Switch made MASSIVE waves in the console landscape being a near instant success story of merging handheld and home console markets into one harmonious group. Handhelds were all the rage, with many companies throwing in their lot with the mobile console idea such as the LYRA for playing classic games, and Google’s STADIA (which hilariously imploded shortly after launching to poor reception). Valve’s new device was right at home in the new invigorated market of gaming-on-the-go, a boom of innovative and experimental handhelds to rival the Gameboy’s release all the way back in 1989 (but more on that later.) The Steam Deck launched to a generally positive reception. Lots of PC gamers were more than happy to add the device to their repertoire of ways to play their favourite games, with higher ups in the gaming space like Tim Sweeny of Epic Games and Phil Spencer of Microsoft calling it “An amazing move by Valve!” (- Quoted from a PC Gamer article by Andy Chalk written in 2021 titled “Tim Sweeney: Steam Deck is 'an amazing move by Valve”, link in sources section) The things the Steam Deck was offering on launch were more in line with what some key parts of the overall gaming space wanted at the time, and so the device was more positively received by people already in those spaces. Now let’s talk about what I said before about consoles being able to play their games off the bat and why the Steam Deck stood out despite being essentially a handheld PC. The Steam Deck stripped away the modularity that the Steam Machines boasted by having a set table of Specs to offer across all 3 of its launch models, with the price and model really only determining how much storage you got. At launch the Steam Deck models on offer were the following:

-$400 for 64gb of internal eMMC storage(embedded multi media card, think a thumb drive) (and a bonus carrying case!) -$530 for 256gb of internal SSD storage (SSD or Solid State Drive being a decent bit faster than eMMC but also more pricey) (exclusive steam profile goodies and a bonus carrying case still! wow!)

-$650 for 512gb of internal SSD storage AND a more premium anti-glare etched glass screen (along with the profile goodies, a steam virtual keyboard theme and the bonus carrying case! wowsers!!!)

These models were more on-par with consoles of the time. Maybe not as powerful, but comparatively so in performance and price in such a way that the Steam Deck was a genuinely appealing offer to not only someone who already knew their stuff about PC gaming, but someone who played on PC and maybe didn’t know too much but wanted a good mobile option other than a laptop. Now those are both still parts of the same niche, PC gamers, and we’re here to talk about your average console Jane, as it were. And we will! But first let’s compare Valve’s previous attempt with the Steam Machines to their modern success. One of the most powerful (at the time) Steam Machines on offer was the Alienware Machine. Alienware is a popular manufacturer of gaming PCs and laptops for those not in-the-know. Here’s what anywhere from $550-$900 could get you in 2014:

Alienware Steam Machine basic specifications:

Processor

Haswell Intel Based CPU

RAM

4GB - 8GB

GPU

Nvidia GPUX

HDD

500GB - 2 TB

(specifications sourced from IGN’s “Steam Machine Guide” from 2014, link in sources section) Now at the time these were decently impressive specs, but I would like to point out both the price tag and the fact that some of these parts vary! If you don’t know, the GPU (graphics processing unit) being listed as “Nvidia GPUX” could be any one of SEVERAL parts which would most likely change your price point wildly. In fact, everything on this list is a variable component! Having anywhere between 4gb-8gb of RAM, what size HDD you have, and what CPU you put in, could end up boosting you all the way to that $900 point mentioned above. As stated before, this wasn’t going to win over anyone who was already going to pay $500 less for a PS4 that could just play PS4 games with no research on components needed. Let’s compare these general specs to those of the Steam Deck, which haven’t changed much since its launch in 2022. No matter what model you pick (aside from the storage and screen in the case of the 512gb model) here’s what you get in a Steam Deck:

Steam Deck basic specifications:

APU

6 nm AMD APU

CPU: Zen 2 4c/8t, 2.4-3.5GHz (up to 448 GFlops FP32)

GPU: 8 RDNA 2 CUs, 1.6GHz (1.6 TFlops FP32)

APU power: 4-15W

RAM

16 GB LPDDR5 on-board RAM (6400 MT/s quad 32-bit channels) Storage Steam Deck 64GB eMMC

Steam Deck 256GB NVMe SSD

Steam Deck 512GB NVMe SSD

(specs sourced from the Valve official website for the Steam Deck, link in sources section)

Granted there’s almost 10 years of technology between these specs and those of the Alienware, the point here is consistency. All 3 models of the Steam Deck use the exact same internal components for things like GPU, CPU, RAM, and almost everything else! To someone looking for something with more oomph than the Switch and maybe even wanting to get into PC gaming alongside it, it’s a pretty good deal! And it’s only gotten MORE appealing with more recent developments in the Steam Deck’s models and pricing, but we’ll talk about that after a short jaunt through gaming history.

Part 3: Handheld market factor history and why I think the Steam Deck is a pretty cool example of them (intermission from the Steam Deck)

As I said we’re gonna take a short break to talk about what I would consider the core of this article. You may have noticed me using terms like “handheld boom” and “market”. I’m gonna throw out some more of those so bare with me, but we’re gonna talk about the Gameboy. What’s so special about the Gameboy? Lots of people know it for being the most popular handheld console of the 4th generation beating out the likes of the Atari Lynx and more importantly, the Sega Game Gear. Why is that important? We’ll get there in a second I promise. The bigger question is “why was the gameboy successful?” to which the answer is usually “brand recognition”. Which isn’t incorrect in its own right, but is only one piece of a larger whole. The Gameboy entered a market that was predominantly occupied by two things, home consoles and arcade games. Handheld games DID exist, but not in the cartridge based console form the Gameboy popularized. This “wild west” era of console development was the second resurgence of video games after a market crash from 1983 to 1985. Spearheaded by the 3rd generation consisting of heavy hitters like the NES and Sega Master System, it gave way to an era of constant development and innovation attempts. The Gameboy specifically hit a couple of key factors when it comes to your average person. No remember, this was during a time when large portions of people still didn’t really understand what a video game was, and a lot of them were even marketed as toys to help them sell. The Gameboy’s success lies in a few points that went a long way towards selling it specifically to people without a ton of video game experience. These were: price point, and usability.

Let’s get into it! First off: price point! In 1989 the Gameboy launched with an introductory price of $90 in the US. Compare this to the Sega Game Gear releasing the following year for $150, and the Atari Lynx at $180. Retailing for HALF the price of a (at the time) big name competitor is kind of a big deal! Price point ties directly into something like accessibility for something being sold as a product, and needless to say paying less than $100 for something with Nintendo’s (again at the time) pedigree behind it put the Gameboy in the hands of a LOT of people. Next off: Usability! What does this mean? Well, this one is a bit rocky. To put it bluntly: the Gameboy was incredibly underpowered for its generation. (A Nintendo console underpowered? Never!) Why was this a good thing? From the perspective of someone trying to get the most “bang for their buck” so to speak, the Gameboy’s underwhelming specs gave it a bit of an edge. How you may ask? Battery life and cost! Let’s get the bad out of the way first by directly comparing the Gameboy and the Sega Game Gear. The old SGG was rocking not only a full colour backlit display in 1990, but also had a good bit more horsepower as far as its specifications go. Able to run full colour games at nearly 60fps on a handheld in the 90s is nothing to sneeze at! But the cost of that is 6 whole AA batteries that would die out in anywhere between 3-5 hours depending on the games you play. The Gameboy in comparison, had a simple dot matrix display that only showed in black and white. (or various shades of off-green if you’ve ever seen one in person.)

The Gameboy as well couldn’t handle beefier games, with notable examples like Mario Land 2: The six golden coins having a good amount of slowdown due to its large chunky sprites and level assets. So its battery life must’ve been something special then? Compared to the Game Gear, absolutely. Clocking in at 15+ hours of battery life on just 4 of the same AAs the Game Gear uses, the Gameboy’s game time and price were unbeatable.

This is why I think it's important to look at more than just a piece of hardware’s specifications when it comes to measuring success. And I can hear you. “Clair, why are we talking about the Gameboy and how it sold a bajillion units because it was more affordable and had Tetris on it? How does this relate to the Steam Deck?” Well my dear reader, let’s finally answer that and talk about the new Handheld Boom.

Part 4: The Steam Deck (part 2: OLED and new pricing)

So here we are! The year is 2023, the Nintendo Switch is 6 years old, the Steam Deck has been selling decently well, and I need to wrap this whole thing up. In November 2023, Valve announced the Steam Deck was getting some pricing adjustments, as well as a brand new model that included better battery life and a slightly larger OLED screen for better picture quality. The Introduction of the new OLED model not only introduced 2 new tiers of Steam Decks to choose from (the new OLED 512gb model for $550 and the OLED 1tb model for $650), but also locked in ONE of the previous Steam Deck LCD models as the only LCD model available, for a price cut! If you go back and look at the old pricing, the 256gb LCD model used to cost $530. Due to the OLED models knocking out the lower tier LCD models entirely, the price has now been locked at just $400. Why does this matter? Well, just like with the Gameboy, you’re making some sacrifices for the lower cost. The higher tier OLED models have nicer screens and better batteries, but also cost a good bit more. Just as well, the Steam Deck is in NO way one of the beefiest PC gaming devices on the market.

In recent years more and more PC handhelds have been coming out to try and cash in on what the Steam Deck has set up. My personal favourite example is the ROG Ally, and AMD powered handheld that for all intents and purposes, outpaces the Steam Deck in raw power. So why aren’t people flocking to the Ally? Well the basic model clocks in at around $600, and can be upgraded with a better processor for another $100. Looking at just the basic models for both, the Steam Deck wins out on being just the right amount of a powerhouse it needs to be for just over half the price of the Ally. This matters because that’s going to appeal to different parts of the market and landscape as a whole.

I hold the opinion that the Steam Deck serves as an EXCELLENT initial entry point into PC gaming for someone who has only ever played on console. It offers that console experience the Steam Machines tried so hard to at a price point that most people interested in game consoles are paying nowadays anyway. A PS5 cost $500, and a PS4 (the console the deck is most likely to be on par with) launched for $400. I find it a much easier sell to get someone who wants to get into PC to play with friends, or have a Switch-like experience for games not available on it, than trying to tell them the $700 one gets more FPS and has a better processor. It all comes down to those factors of price point and usability. It's been so interesting to see the Steam Deck rise into popularity in so many corners of the internet that I hang around in. I haven’t even talked about how emulating on the Steam Deck is one of the most seamless and easy to set up processes I’ve ever seen! With arguably the best LCD model option now locked at the introductory price for most modern game consoles, it’s so neat to see what could genuinely be considered a truly NEW game console enter the fray. And a handheld at that! Part 5: I am just one woman (conclusion and thanks)

Hey there! If you read through all this garbled nonsense I’d like to extend a small thank you. I also want to take a second to say that I’m not presenting any of this as objective facts. Yes I have listed facts in this article, but as the title of this section says, I am just one woman. These are my overly excited thoughts on a phenomenon I’ve observed in my own time and wanted to share with anyone who would read it. Thanks a ton for reading! I’ll be back with more ramblings at some point, but for now let's part with this: The Steam Deck is an awesome piece of tech that I feel really shakes up the gaming space. I’m not sponsored by anyone, I’ve only been paid in the satisfaction of writing. If you’re someone who doesn’t dabble much in PC gaming, and are planning to buy a new console, maybe give the Steam Deck a try! I definitely plan on getting one after watching some stuff on the EmuDeck frontend for emulation and being thoroughly impressed. That’s all for now, see ya around! -Clair (FembotY2K) (sources below the cut!)

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zyrafowe-sny · 3 months

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writing ask game: 16 and 19!

from this ask game

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

Umm... It has been A While since I've regularly read physical books (mostly read on Libby/other phone apps these days), but I've done the usual random scraps of paper in the past.

When I was a kid obsessed with Narnia in elementary school, I made special friendship bracelet bookmarks for my set that matched the colors of the covers. Some might still exist at my mom's.

I also remember buying bookmarks that looked like castle tapestries.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

When I was a kid, I loved stories and reading and daydreaming and playing pretend (mostly on my own, as others aged out of it). I enjoyed my elementary school creative writing assignments, and started writing poems and stories in my free time too. That continued through high school, and around high school I also got into fanfic (mostly as a reader, but I wrote fan poems, short snippets, and a ficlet/one shot or two that I never shared with anyone else).

In early college, I finally posted a tiny bit of fanfic (on website that thankfully no longer exists), but I had an unfinished WIP that hung over my head for years and years. (It wasn't even that long a story! It just became an impossible task.)

And then there was over a decade of basically nothing. I wrote for college/grad school and for work, but papers, memos, PowerPoints, emails, etc. are not exactly creative writing.

The Owl House rewired my brain, as they say. It started out as a show I started watching mid 2022 while folding laundry, but in October 2022 I started bingeing in earnest. I was still finishing Season 2B when Thanks to Them dropped, but once I caught up... oooph. Immediate rewatch. I read some fanfic, but for the first time in over a decade, I was itching to write. I started with one drabble — 100 words seemed like a realistic goal — which turned into a drabble sequence. Then I posted a one shot a few days later, then another one shot, and... After having an AO3 account with zero posted words of my own from August 2013 to mid October 2022, I now have over 50k up and more in drafts.

These days, I consider myself a fanfic writer in it for the long haul. I know that life responsibilities/health/etc may interfere with writing from time to time, but I've found my way back before and I am confident that I can do it again. I am a little anxious about having multiple multi-chapter WIPs up on AO3 — there was a reason I initially intended to stick to one shots/one shots in series — but fanfic writeblr helps immensely. When in doubt, I write drabbles.

I am in zero rush to focus on writing original fiction, but I have decades of life yet. Who knows — maybe I'll write a short story collection or a novel someday for fun, but I'm not nearly as passionate or dedicated (or talented!) as my friends/acquaintances who are writing/making art professionally. That's where I am with music too — I love being part of a community choir and I hope music will always be a part of my life, but it's a hobby. And as much as I desperately wish we supported full-time artists better, I also wish more people could just "dabble" in creative/artistic endeavors (time and money being big gatekeepers for hobbies too).

#thanks for the ask!#sometimes I write #ask game

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fleouriarts · 1 month

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who are your biggest artistic influences my furry friend? we had art classes together for years but i still feel like i don’t know 😭

😭😭😭 honestly thats probably cus a lot of my artistic influences are specifically internet artists that ive been following for several years and not things i couldve brought up in art class. you know that lame ass mr smith wouldve hated me if i said 'yeah i draw like this cus of some bts fanart girlie on twitter'. thankfully i have the Archivist's Temperament and save like literally everything thats had an effect on my style... so below is a journey thru my artistic influences (and various insp folders on my computer) as far as i can remember

of course the most basal Dorian Influence is disney movies. you are my brother in arms in the lion king fandom so you know this. whenever i am feeling extremely artistically bankrupt i try to revitalize myself by rewatching the lion king, atlantis, and treasure planet. and also the prince of egypt but thats dreamworks LOL

in 2016 i found the first "online" artists i distinctly remember wanting to imitate, which were sara kipin and celia lowenthal because i was obsessed with how they used color to block out their illustrations. ive also been following dimetrodone(/dimetrodrawn/deinocheirus) on here since 2016 and love all the shapes and colors in her work

in 2017 i started doing more detailed shading because i saw bts fanart by the artist tyu_naxx on twitter and loved how they did it (below is like THE piece that made me change my whole shit up)

around then is also when i started trending towards using limited palettes and that was mostly inspired by various national parks promo artworks that would only have like 5 colors in them. wish i remembered who made these but heres ancient scans of some postcards i got at sequoia national park that changed me

in early 2019 i started wanting my style to be more cartoony so i would constantly peruse the backlogs of kiwi, officialspec, skunkes and mimiadraws to get whatever inspiration i could from them

in late 2019 i completely pivoted for some reason and started doing lineless rendered semirealistic stuff instead. i think that was mostly cus i hated doing lineart. one of my biggest inspirations in that era was atissi

in 2020 i remember i went crazy stupid on using glow effects and chromatic aberration on stuff and i genuinely think all of it can be traced to this ONE piece of bts fanart by lordizxy on twitter like i was fully obsessed (putting it below also in case it gets deleted somehow)

mid 2021 was when i got tired of semirealism and thought it was too amorphous and restricting so i went back to cartoony shit. i was still looking at the artists i listed for early 2019 but i also added artists like iplidl, catmunches, and chunkysoup22 to the mix

2022 was an inspirationless nightmare i have no clue what i was doing for that entire year. the artblock was BAD. i mostly just looked at art from all the artists i mentioned before while artistically wandering in circles. a lot of this was me trying and failing to figure out whether i wanted to do more dynamic yet less rendered art or... the opposite of that

thankfully in 2023 i finally FIGURED THAT SHIT OUT. i would say the current dorian art era started with this silly drawing of graydon and riley hivemind as a dogboy and a catboy ⬇️

you can kinda see the influences of all the cartoonists i listed above but a lot of the way i draw now is just. me trying to not make myself hate doing art. ive always hated redoing a line 30000000 times for clean lineart so now its sketchy. rendering my art was making my drawings feel super stiff so now thats all messy too. etc etc

i think Right Now the artists i go to for inspiration the most are still kiwi and skunkes, but i also found the artist robottoast recently who makes RIDICULOUSLY good furry art, its so full of life and personality and i definitely need to commission them someday. the most recent singular piece thats changed my whole shit up is this scott pilgrim fanart by benadieshekiel (also below) because i really liked how the clothes were fully rendered while the skin and hair are less detailed with clear lineart. so sometimes i do that too

ok i think that is as full of a chronicle of Dorian Influences that i can give you rn. i was not lying when i said i wanted to yap. hope you enjoy <3

#ask #saintsdead #also obviously have influences for the themes in my original work but i do not feel like going into all that tbh #how my art Looks is MUCH easier to trace

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belethlegwen · 1 year

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February 7th

On February 7th, 2022, I opened up a google doc.

It was roughly two weeks after a pretty nasty anniversary, and while I had done a lot of healing over the previous year, the anniversary had come and gone with a mixed bag of feelings (and a very very large cake just for me).

There was a lot I wanted to process, but mostly I just... wanted an escape. I wanted comfort. I wanted to create a world that could give me that.

So I started writing.

The Stranding turns 1 year old today. As of the time of writing this (6:22pm January 31st, 2023), the original document is 450 pages and 200,613 words long and currently mid-scene as I take a break to get some thoughts out.

When I started writing it, I never had any goal of posting it anywhere. It was just me, taking a couple of characters that had lived in my head for years and the story I had vaguely pieced together, and getting them onto a page that I could come back to and fiddle with or just read over and over again to give myself some kind of catharsis.

A week later, I uploaded the first 5 chapters to AO3.

Twelve days after that, I opened a new google doc, and started writing The Rescue.

When I had decided to actually post what I had been working on, I did it with the thought that if it gave one person something to read, something to enjoy, that fit a niche that they had been looking for, that I'd be happy. That if ONE PERSON could find what I did, what I put effort into, and knew that they could find something they liked without having to create it all for themselves, I'd have done immense good.

Both The Stranding and The Rescue are sitting on AO3 right now with thousands of views, hundreds of kudos, and dozens of comments from people who found something I started making just for myself and liked it enough to let me know. To keep coming back.

I came to this website to find people who liked the same things I did, and I found them, and they liked what I did almost as much as I liked what they did, and that has blown me away. I've made incredible friends, wonderful connections. People have chatted with me about their own creative endeavors. I've gotten Fan Art of my characters and stories, for god's sake... there's a piece of Henry and Melanie in the bath because something I wrote just for me-- selfishly and indulgently-- resonated with someone else enough that they made fanart of it. (Thank you so much Alex, I love you to bits).

I never would've thought I could've written 100,000 words. I never would've believed I could've written 200,000. Today, across my works and shorts and the unpublished pieces/chapters/arcs I have in my google drive, I have almost half a million words written.

In less than a year.

I never would've thought that right now I would (should be, anyway, I'm scheduling this a week out so knock on wood) be part way through my flights to the states to visit the most amazing person I have ever had the joy of getting to know, even just a little. All because in July, they sent me a message on Tumblr to let me know they liked what I wrote. What I shared.

Last year I let myself be unrestrained. I let myself do what I wanted to do, with no care for anyone else beyond that I was doing no harm. I shared myself in a way I had never truly shared myself before; I opened my heart so wide that light got into basically every crack and crevice and landed on every single flaw and scar.

And today?

Today I'm gonna get to smooch @adjacentperception

Happy Anniversary to the most ridiculously impactful decision I ever made. <3

[Update] Flights delayed BUT it's still gonna happen, just later now

#Belle rambling #The Stranding #The Rescue #Happy Anniversary Mel & Henry #g/t #giant/tiny #giant tiny #g/t author #g/t writing #gtauthor #author thoughts #gt #big little thoughts #The Smoochaggedon begineth

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bowelfly · 1 year

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while i usually keep this blog focused on art and bugs, movies are my third big passion, and since i don't believe in streaming services i don't have a spotify wrapped for 2022 to show off but i do have a letterboxd account so i felt like going through my 2022 movie watching stats. this post is basically for me alone and will be obnoxiously long so i'll put in a read more thing here out of courtesy:

ooh so close to almost 1000 hours of movies! still 718 films is pretty good, though that does also include around 80 or so shorts, mostly animations, that i also logged.

i was averaging around 2 movies per day for the year. being 500 miles away from all your friends, family, and partner does give you a lot of free time it turns out. the most movies i watched in a single week, december 10-16, was 28. the weeks i only watched a couple things were either when i was visiting my partner or too depressed to even watch movies

one of the things i've done this year to keep myself sane in isolation was to stream movies for friends. however since i have multiple non-overlapping friend groups, there were a number of movies i watched multiple times because i have a deep psychological and emotional need to share weird shit with the people i care about. NOVA SEED, FANTASY MISSION FORCE, and BUDDHA'S PALM were the triple crown winners this year.

i only watched 7 movies that came out in 2022. my sweet spot is genre movies made from the late 70s through the mid-90s which you can see clearly if you look at my lifetime stats. predictably, i have very strong opinions about practical effects and stunts and film stock

my ratings spread for 2022 is about what it normally is for other years with a lot of things ending up in the 3.5-4 star range. maybe i'm just generous with my stars or maybe i just like what i like and try to not watch things i won't like unless they're bad in a fun way but i really feel like i've been moving away from the whole so-bad-its-good thing over the years and focusing on things that i unironically like--though these are often films that other people do categorize as bad or so-bad-its-good.

my most watched actors is a bunch of golden age hong kong dudes because i went super hard on the kung fu and wuxia films this year. like about half of these are big name stars and the other half are less well-known character actors that still are in like 200 movies playing assorted emperors and evil administrators. really glad to see my main man lo lieh running away with first place. he's most well known for playing evil white-haired kung fu masters usually named pai mei or variations of that, but he's also played the protagonist or antihero of a number of great films like FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH or THE FUGITIVE (1972, not the harrison ford one). my favorite role of his is without question Bi Gu of East Island the rascally kung fu wizard who hollers his name from offscreen before every time he enters a scene in BUDDHA'S PALM (1982).

also very pleased to see one of my favorite american character actors, brion james squeaking his way onto the list, though sad that he got separated from his best friend and frequent collaborator tim thomerson, who i think is just below the cut here.

most watched directors. i've been a huge fan of the very recently deceased albert pyun for years now, largely on the strength of his absolute god-tier masterpiece NEMESIS (1992) though he has a number of other very entertaining movies (RADIOACTIVE DREAMS, CYBORG) and also a cavalcade of very bad movies that are nonetheless all fascinating in their own ways. i could go on about him at length but this post is long enough. maybe another time.

other than that, chor yuen (THE MAGIC BLADE, DESCENDANT OF THE SUN) and chang cheh (CRIPPLED AVENGERS, FIVE ELEMENT NINJAS) are gods of early wuxia cinema and fucking rule, and keita amemiya's 90s work (ZEIRAM, MECHANICAL VIOLATOR HAKAIDER, CYBER NINJA) are pinnacles of kickass japanese practical effects work.

i also watched a lot of russ meyer and john waters films because i'm a pevert.

this is mostly just a reminder to check out my WUXIA WIZARD WARS tumblr post and letterboxd list if you like movies about wizards shooting lasers at each other and summoning fucked up monsters and shit like that

finally, because i have a brain disease, i made a list of the 100 best films i watched this year, mostly first-time watches but probably like 15-20 rewatches that i especially enjoyed or think more people should know about or give another shot. if i didn't already have way too many projects i'd consider setting up another sideblog just going through all these one by one with reviews and screenshots but that's a lot of work and i am a tired old man. i might give an occasional highlight post like i did for THE BARON AGAINST THE DEMONS

and i guess that's about it? this has been an especially heavy year for golden age hong kong kung fu and wuxia films but i explored a lot of other interesting places and times and genres and microgenres and have a lot more i plan on checking out next year. i've got stacks and stacks of unwatched japanese V-cinema and pinku violence and kaiju and tokusatsu films; tons of giallo and hammer horror and eurotrash lesbian vampire flicks; classic westerns, revisionist westerns, spaghetti westerns; SOV horror, eastern european stop motion, hong kong CAT III sleaze, russian postapocalyptic dirges, poliziotteschi, krimi, and noir films; AIP and PM Entertainment action schlock; italian mad max ripoffs, italian alien ripoffs, italian conan ripoffs; approximately 300 movies with NINJA, BLOOD, or SHAOLIN in their titles; and probably some other shit too.

finally, if you've made it this far and you're a nasty little film freak like me i'll let you in on a secret: i have copies of every single one of these movies on my hard drive. literally thousands of movies dug out of dozens of digital dumpsters with my own two greasy grabby raccoon paws. if any of them particularly catch your interest but you can't find a copy, well you can maybe slip old professor bfly a little private request and get yourself a copy of whatever you need. it may take some time since i only have so many google drive accounts unless someone wants to subsidize a deluxe mega.nz subscription for me to mass-upload things to. i also have a soulseek account sharing the entire hoard but it's very slow and not always online but you can DM me for that as well. again though you may have to be patient because i am old and tired and slow and have a full time job and a hundred dumb hobbies and social anxiety and generalized brain damage

happy new year everyone now go watch a movie about some dudes kicking the shit out of each other for me

#bfly talks movies #letterboxd #long post

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that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction · 3 months

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Hello, random ask, why do you think that a pretty character with bad personality is famous in the fandom (epsecially anime/manga)? Yes, one of them (that I mean) is Gojo Satoru from JJK. Do you watch or read the series?

So 4 months ago, I'm not into the fandom, but my friend made me watch it with them, so I binge watch s1, the movie, then s2, and now I'm one of Gojo fan and SatoSugu shipper (even if I'm late)... Sorry for the rambling, feel free to just ignore my silly ask.

I'm also into Merlin BBC kinda late, just in 2022, when I first watch it. At first I thought it will be hard to find Merlin fan blog (because the show ends in 2012 or 2013), how wrong I was. Thanks to you @that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction I can be more understanding of their characters, especially Merlin and Arthur's dynamics. Thanks for sharing your posts.....

So I haven’t seen much of jjk, I watched the first few episodes while I was very medicated in hospital last year (I’m okay) so I don’t remember much of it. I need to rewatch it at some point, from what o do remember it was pretty good.

As for the character archetype, I’m honestly not sure. Usually the characters tend to have more than just the bad personally, think Denki in MHA and Mineta, Mineta is just there for the “comedy” of being a perv where Denki doesn’t take it too far, backs off when told (when he asked Uraraka out and accepted her rejection) and has more than just that to his character, and Gojo was a mentor or something, wasn’t he? I can’t remember enough to comment on him.

But anyway, that’s not always the case, I can’t think of any examples off the top of my head while I’m on Merlin brainrot but I know there are some. SAO, SOTE and possibly Beastars (I’ve only heard from friends on that one) probably have some interesting characters that have varying levels of morality and reasons. Other times, they’ve got a tragic backstory that people can relate to, MHA villains or harlequin, also assassination classroom characters for example.

Personally, I’ll overlook a bad character aspect if it’s only like 10-20% of the personality, any more than that and I can’t get myself to like them, but that’s just me and it’s different for everyone based on their own opinions and a bunch of other things. I don’t pretend to understand people, I really don’t.

My thing with character analysis is that in media, I can see all aspects of the character. I can go back and analyse parts and sit watching situations for as long as I need to work out whatever I want to work out. In real life, or when it comes to real people rather, I’m lucky to get anything about a person from the types of interactions you get in fandom spaces so I can’t really speak for other peoples opinions on characters or why they have them.

I’ve seen people who feel the same about Morgause and Morgana despite them having entirely different personalities and reasons for their varying levels of dubious morality, I’ve seen people heavily stan Meliodas from seven deadly sins and say he’s “just flirting” while others will not like that part of his personality but like him overall.

Mostly, I’ll just live and let live. As long as discussions aren’t hostile and everything is kept respectful, different opinions than my own are what keep fandom spaces (and conversations in general) interesting so I’m always interested to hear what people think.

And as for coming into Merlin late, welcome, happy to have you here. I only started watching 2020, rewatched a few (understatement of the decade) times since, and joined the fandom mid to late last year but the fandom is still going strong. It’s definitely one of my favourite fandoms, so I’m glad it’s growing.

#ask me anything #bbc merlin #jjk #seraph of the end #assassination classroom #sword art online #morgana #seven deadly sins #i’m bad at tagging #mha denki #my hero acedamia #long post #ramblings #mha villains #arthur pendragon #merlin #I’m sure I’m forgetting a few tags here but I’m tired so it’s fine

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adelle-ein · 11 months

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lace's oc2path review

Disclaimer: I am deeply critical of this game and of Octopath 1, and I very much loathe COTC, so there will be a lot of negativity in this post. Don't like don't read!!!111 Also explicit spoilers for everything duh, and game typical content warnings.

Octopath and I have a…complicated relationship. It was my first Switch game. I had fond memories of it, even if it was never my favorite, I found it very hard, I really only cared about Primrose and Cyrus as characters, and I never even got all the secret jobs, let alone beat Galdera. Then the mobile game COTC came along, bringing with it a clusterfuck of horrific misogyny, racism, and frankly terrible grimdark story writing, severely souring my relationship with the franchise. I tried to replay it in 2022 and couldn’t even get to a chapter 2 — the grind was awful, the world was bland, the stories were just insufferably boring at best and misogynistic at worst. The lack of relationships or even acknowledgement between the characters made the whole thing feel stilted. Therion works alone, don’t mind the seven other people walking behind him! Now let’s explain the ways all the stories connect in a diary info dump locked behind a boss rush!

Octopath 1 has staggering design flaws and, as more and more JRPGS come to the Switch, those flaws become strikingly pronounced. Party dynamics are important to me, and without them, most of 1’s cast remained stubbornly boring. The game was hard, but not fun enough for me to want to grind OR learn advanced strats. Every chapter of every story follows the same basic plot beats and the layout of the world is boring and predictable, with even the scenery getting old eventually.

So I had mixed feelings when Octopath 2 was announced, especially when I saw they hadn't changed a single one of the main 8 classes and that the Crossed Paths would only be between four duos of characters. Still, the game went on sale for $40 in mid-April. Split the price with a sibling and here we are.

For starters: The graphics in this game are fantastic. I’m still not in love with HD-2D, mostly because of the lack of expressiveness in the tiny character pixels. Watching them flop over dead in a pile of blood in Triangle Strategy was only ever hilarious, and most emotional scenes fall flat. Strangely, Asano continues insisting on using this style for really drama-heavy, emotional games. Luckily, they’ve made some strides forward with OT2. The bigger human sprites are drastically more dynamic and expressive, move more fluidly than ever before, and have ample opportunity to demonstrate both emotion and personality. Everyone’s unique walk cycles and Bewildering Grace dances really bring character to the game. We can get a clearer look at job outfits and have animations for all kinds of things like dancing and character interactions. And HD-2D, as always, continues to shine in the backgrounds, special effects, and enemy sprites. The game is very pretty, and while I still don’t think HD-2D is the best choice for any character-driven game, the sprites don’t feel nearly as rough and awkward as they do in their predecessors. I hope Team Asano retains this style in future HD-2D installments, especially interpersonal ones.

The world is huge, sprawling, and genuinely FUN to explore this time, with various nooks and crannies to dig into. The day/night cycle and added path actions really add a lot of fun and variety to gameplay. The world not being a perfect circle moving outwards really makes things more exciting and less tedious, and the towns, cities, and dungeons had so much variety. I genuinely had fun on the journey this time, while in 1 i was just dragging myself from town to town. The bonus bosses, latent powers, hidden classes, sidequests, and various new game mechanics all felt like upgrades from the first game to me.

The music is banging, no criticisms here. I’ve gotten the impression before that Revo and Nishiki have been influenced by and learning from each other and I think this really shows it. Super fun, loved that we have more theme variants now. VA work was solid, with some very fun moments but nothing I was super amazed by. That's not a problem, though, it's really all I ask for in a game. Loved the added voice lines, the unique voice lines for certain bosses (I don't wanna fight no doggy-dog…), and how the characters interact with each other in battle as the game proceeds.

I’ll continue with my thoughts on the eight characters/stories one by one and then give some overall opinions on the “main plot” and game itself.

Ochette:

The constant food talk gets old fast. Seriously, every conversation this girl has ends up being about food or similar. I also think her voice acting may have been mixed oddly, sometimes it's quiet and sometimes at too high a volume, she ends up sounding REALLY loud and grating a lot of the time. Overall, she really doesn't feel as fleshed out as every other character, and it's a shame. That being said, she does have some very fun travel banters and brings a fun "kid of the group" energy, it's just…she's twenty goddamn years old.

Story-wise, had a lot of potential but constant food talk and the weird fantasy racism (why do they all speak broken English) were huge drags. I thought the stuff with the unchosen starter was a really good idea, but there just wasn't enough time lent to it, and overall the first and last chapters felt completely disconnected from the middle ones. Oh well.

Castti:

No mercy, only pain. She's just a great character who ended up with so much depth and felt like a twist on the kindly, maternal healer. "Do harm when necessary to save lives" is a great archetype for doctor characters and Castti plays the role fantastically. She has been through so much and still chooses to be gentle when she can, but if she has to she'll bring the axe down. She has a talent for making do. She has so many fantastic scenes and lines and flips the "mom friend" character around on its head. I really love her, she's great, she's up there with Primrose for me forever.

Her story was also my favorite, and her boss the toughest to beat by a comfortable margin (what worked in the end was no strategy just hikari, throne, and their knives). Sure, some beats are always predictable in Octopathland, but chapter 3 was beautifully done, and the use of game mechanics and the interface to play with the effects of Castti's amnesia were really enjoyable. Nothing groundbreaking, but a strong and solid story that felt emotional and meaningful as well as unique and independent from the stuff all three games have done and rehashed. Castti herself is of course a huge part of that, but this is one of the rare Octopath stories that didn't feel like it was being fully carried by the strength of the MC.

Throne:

Throne herself, I adore. She's fun, she's determined, she's witty, she's like Primrose in some ways but firmly different in others. She doesn't want to kill, but it's all she knows. She has some fantastic travel banters. I laughed out loud at her first "Bravo, Temenos." And the little "tada…" when she uses Disguise. She's great, she has endless potential, and boy does she have fun path actions.

Warning for discussion of incest, abuse, and rape in the following paragraph :(

Unfortunately, her story is the classic edgy Octopath misogyny fest. What was with that random sex slave and what the hell happened to her??? We don't care, she only exists to show that Bad Guys Evil and that Throne Can't Be A Hero Because She Is Tainted. Everyone wants to rape Throne and that is made way too clear. Some of those people are her fucking brothers, because why the fuck not. And the ending with the "but was it worth it?" tone was phenomenally stupid. Octopath asking the quintessential question: is it okay to escape slavery even if you have to kill your slavers? What if your slavers love you (even though they keep you in a collar and whip you and offer you up as a rape victim and force you to kill people?) What if your slavers are your parents or siblings? Also not loving any of the Marietta story, anything that involves "she killed our baby" is going to set my hair on end in this day and age and I just did not like the way any of that was portrayed and handled. Even if Claude didn't rape Marietta, it's clear he raped several of the other mothers including a few of the ones we meet, and they're all forcibly separated from their babies and left to die — it's just too much. It's too disgusting. The huge conspiracy itself fell flat due to the general creep factor and tried way too hard to be edgy. Throne cannot be happy within her story for even a second and it's way overdone. I'm sick, absolutely sick, of this type of story and COTC trying to play with "but she loves her abuser" stuff and doing a frankly disgusting and often fetishizing job. Overall, it felt like a COTC plotline, and that is very much a bad thing for me! I'm glad that the postgame sidequest cleared up the Mira plotline and actually had some "breaking the cycle" themes, but the fact that we've just apparently left the residents of Lostseed to suffer and die instead of even attempting to bring them to the Garden or somewhere they can get help is pretty gross.

But again, I adore Throne herself. Get her out of this game. Put her in Animal Crossing or something.

Osvald:

And now we flip around! Talk about pleasant surprises! I was not expecting to like him or his story at all, it felt so Octopath edgy and woman-in-fridges-y. And to an extent, it is, but the game is actually self-aware of this and gently pokes fun at it to a degree that makes it more bearable. Osvald is an Edgy Man and the other travelers can and will be confused by it. That's really fun. Being able to save Elena flips everything about the story on its head in a good way, and The Answer being The Power Of Love is both so funny and so sweet and fitting. Just a genuinely heartfelt and optimistic story in the end despite where it begins, I really liked it despite another dead wife on the pile. The antithesis to Throne's story.

My main complaint is that the story pacing ends up really off due to two out of five chapters being at the very start and about the prison escape. I really think he could have benefited from another chapter between his 3 and 4. I wish the ending was more emotionally satisfying, but it does feel in character and leave on a hopeful note. Would have enjoyed, if not a reunion scene between him and Elena, something more significant about them and their relationship than the tiny nod we got at the end. All that being said, liked both him and his story a lot!

Partitio:

He really is very funny. Those voice lines are a hoot, every Scent of Commerce is just ridiculous, and his determination to stop That Devil Called Poverty by having a polite meeting with the CEO of capitalism and giving him some $$$ is just absurd. As a character, I can’t say I find him as interesting as Castti, Throne, or Osvald, but he’s entertaining if nothing else, and his first chapter pacing is creative. He was my MC and spent tons of time running Arcanist Sidestepper or Latent Power Catapult Inventor, so of course I got pretty attached. Yeehaw let's do it catapult go-go-go

But let’s be real here. Any story about a merchant “helping the poor” by doing more capitalism is going to be kind of a mess. It wasn’t a harmful mess, but it felt like the story was deliberately skirting around making any meaningful commentary. None of this is surprising, but I spent a lot of chapter 4 rolling my eyes. Roque illegally modifying a contract after signature on multiple occasions is just completely brushed aside, and Partitio happily SIGNS a contract with him KNOWING Roque has a habit of violating and editing them. It’s all just very…dumb. Seize the means of production Partitio! Don’t just give The Man eighty billion leaves! Also, Roque apparently KEEPS all that money in the postgame even though he’s allegedly reformed, soooooo (I know he's using it on the railroads but like….Yeah)

But yeah, while it was a silly story, it wasn’t much else. He's a fun guy though. I wonder if octopath 3 will bring us our first edgy merchant MC.

Agnea:

She’s sweet and fun. I don’t really feel like I have a lot to say about her, which isn’t a negative? I enjoy her theme, I love all her dance animations, I think her constantly-slipping accent is pretty funny (I’m genuinely not sure if the premise is that Agnea hides her accent and occasionally slips into it by mistake, or if the VA keeps forgetting that Agnea is supposed to sound Southern and only remembers when Agnea says “oh my stars” or something lol. It’s funny though.) But like I said, I enjoy her, she’s not as grating as some of the other “goodhearted, happy go lucky” characters from 1.

Similarly, while I don’t have much to say about her story, that’s not to say I disliked it. I thought it was sweet. Dolcinea and her gf are some of my favorite NPCs in the game, the final battle kicked my ass in a fun way, and most of all I love how ¾ of Agnea’s bosses are just her going “I want to speak to the manager!!” and it actually working. I liked it a LOT better than tressa’s, which it’s constantly compared to, since it felt like an actual coherent story. She’s a star!

Temenos:

Fandom made me dislike Temenos before I set foot in the Crestlands. In those early days especially, every woman in this game was ignored in favor of an AVALANCHE of fanart of him and crick. People say weird shit about Temenos being a twink, some of which is frankly homophobic and/or creepy. I pretty strongly disliked his predecessor Fandom Favorite Man, Therion. Man had a lot riding against him. All that being said, once I got to know him I liked Temenos just fine! He's a priest who can't remember the Lord's Prayer and calls the scripture boring at every given opportunity. Also enjoys beating the shit out of people for information and can barely be contained by those around him. It's a fun character type.

His story, though, is honestly just blah. I guessed the big murderer about as soon as they appeared on screen, and by the time I finished the story I was pretty confident I knew who was manipulating them too…and I was right. As funny as it is that Temenos can use his "special powers" to just, like, see something lying on the floor, the investigation/mystery is really lacking and dull, which is disappointing. Particularly since his story is the "main" one that reveals the ultimate final boss, and the only one that gets a full follow-up cutscene in the extra chapters — it ended up just being a big pile of text dumping, which is not a fun way to do a mystery/whodunit!

Also Crick is boring.

Hikari:

Hikari is Just Fine. He's sometimes fun, largely unremarkable, just another member of the crowd. The same is pretty much true of his story as well — it's just Fine. Has a pretty hilarious mom-fridging as horses whinny loudly in the background, which I think was iconic. Dunban levels of "bad at making friends" (and while it's not "Therion works alone" levels of stupid by any means, does feel a little awkward that he keeps talking about needing his Allies and True Friends while seven people he camps with are standing right there…) I really just don't have a lot to say about him or his story, which isn't a bad thing! It was fine, he's fine. My only real complaint is that I don't love that his overcoming his Evil Blood was tied to him also having Good Blood on his mother's side — that detail seems irrelevant to everything, and I would have preferred his overcoming the Shadow and taking back his Hidden Power just be framed as him having willpower and a good, kind heart. But I am nitpicking here, since I think that was the intention — just wish blood hadn't been brought into it, y'know? Anyway yeah Hikari's fine.

Together Now:

The Crossed Paths are SO short (other than waiting for that insanely long lute performance to be over) and that's a shame. I wish there were more of them, between more characters, that they were longer…I hope any future Octopath games play with these concepts. Overall, I mean, it's a huge meaty game and it's not that I wanted to be playing it longer, I was satisfied by the length. I just really would have appreciated more character interaction. I'm glad that you can view the travel banters freely and easily from the menus now, and that there are more of them. But I do wish that the characters emoted during them instead of just standing there staring blankly at each other. Huge improvement over one, just not quite there yet!

I will say the Extra Chapters/final boss were also huge improvement over 1's, with actual cutscenes, some character interaction, more consistent foreshadowing, and finally, a boss with no boss rush leadup whose level of challenge is more "difficult but doable" than "haha fuck you." My hopes for this game had been that they would lower the final boss difficulty and make a bigger, harder bonus boss for hardcore players to enjoy, and I'm really happy that they did so! I beat Vide :)

That being said, most of the Extra Chapter reveals were entirely contained in heaps of diary entries again. You guys expect me to remember who Tanzy was or care?? Other than the Arcanette cutscene/battle, things never got that emotional or exciting. A few travel banters tried to fill in the blanks, but there just wasn't enough emotion or stakes put into the scenes. That being said, I enjoyed the Vide battle and it was the perfect difficulty level for me, and I enjoyed the ending and epilogue a lot! It just didn't quite do everything I want from a JRPG ending (which…has been my tune with almost every newly released JRPG I've played in the last couple years :( we need better endings in these things.)

Will also say that the Osterra nods don't really make sense, but I'm personally subscribing to Osterra and Solistia straight up being parallel worlds (I suspect COTC will be confirming this one way or another in the JP version shortly, but like, eh).

Overall, it was a good game, I liked it, it's hands down my favorite Octopath and probably my second favorite Asano game after BD2. Despite my complaints, wishes things had diverged further from the original game, and generally feeling like this series is a bit overrated in JRPG circles, Oct2path is solid, fun, and a big upgrade from its predecessors. Stan Castti

#lace reviews #txt #octopath traveler spoilers #octopath traveler 2 spoilers #octopath 2 spoilers #octopath traveler ii spoilers

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