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mashkaroom · 1 year

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Translation thoughts on the greatest poem of our time, “His wife has filled his house with chintz. To keep it real I fuck him on the floor”

It’s actually quite tricky to translate. Because it’s so short, each word and grammatical construction is carrying a lot of weight. It also, as people have noted, plays with registers. “Chintz” is a word with its own set of associations. Chintz is a type of fabric with its origins in India. The disparaging connotation is from chintz’s eventual commonality. Chintz was actually banned from England and France because the local textile mills couldn’t compete.

Keep it real” is tremendously difficult to translate -- it’s a bit difficult to even define. It means to be authentic and genuine, but it also has connotations of staying true to one’s roots. Like many English slang words, it comes first from AAVE. From this article on the phrase:

“[K]eeping it real meant performing an individual’s experience of being Black in the United States. As such, it became a form of resistance. Insisting on a different reality, one that wasn’t recognized by the dominant culture, empowered Black people to ‘forge a parallel system of meaning,’ according to cultural critic Mich Nyawalo...The phrase’s roots in racialized resistance, however, were erased when it was adopted by the mostly-White film world of the 1970s and ’80s....Keeping it real in this context indicated a performance done so well that audiences could forget it was a performance.This version of keeping it real wasn’t about testifying to personal experience; it was about inventing it.”

One has to imagine that jjbang8 did not have the origins of these phrases in mind when composing the poem, but even if by coincidence, the etymological and cultural journeys of these two central lexemes perfectly reflect the themes of the poem. The two words have themselves traveled away from the authenticity they once represented, and, in a new context, have taken on new meanings -- the hero of our poem, the unnamed “him”, is, presumably, in quite a similar situation.

Setting aside the question of register, of the phonology, prosody, and meter of the original, of the information that is transmitted through bits of grammar that don’t necessarily exist in other languages -- a gifted translator might be able to account for all of these -- how do you translate the journey of the words themselves?

In my translations, I decided to go for the most evocative words, even if they don’t evoke the exact same things as in the original. The strength of these two lines is that they imply that there’s more than just what you see, whether that’s the details of the story -- what’s happening in the marriage? how do the narrator and the husband know each other? -- or the cultural background of the very words themselves. I wanted to try and replicate this effect.

Yiddish first:

זייַן ווייַב האָט אָנגעפֿילט זייַן הויז מיט הבלים

צו בלייַבן וויטיש, איך שטוף אים אופֿן דיל. zayn vayb hot ongefilt zayn hoyz mit havolim.

tsu blaybn vitish, ikh shtup im afn dil

This translation is pretty direct. There is a word for chintz in Yiddish -- tsits -- but, as far as I can tell, it refers only to the fabric; it doesn’t have the same derogatory connotation as in English. I chose, instead, havolim, a loshn-koydesh word that means “vanity, nothingness, nonsense, trifles”. In Hebrew, it can also mean breath or vapor. I chose this over the other competitors because it, too, is a word with a journey and with a secondary meaning. Rather than imagining the bright prints of chintz, we might imagine a more olfactory implication -- his wife has filled his house with perfumes or cleaning fluids. It can carry the implication that something is being masked as well as the associations with vanity and gaudiness.

Vitish -- Okay, this is a good one. Keep in mind, of course, that I’ve never heard or seen it used before today, so my understanding of its nuances is very limited, but I’ll explain to you exactly how I am sourcing its meaning. The Comprehensive Yiddish-English Dictionary (CYED) gives this as “gone astray (esp. woman); slang correct, honest”. I used the Yiddish Book Center’s optical character recognition software, which allows you to search for strings in their corpus, to confirm that both usages are, in fact, attested. It’s a pretty rare word in text, though, as the CYED implies, it might have been more common in spoken speech. It appears in a glossary in “Bay unds yuden” (Among Us Jews) as a thieves cant word, where it’s definted as נאַריש, שרעקעוודיק, אונבעהאלפ. אויך נישט גנביש. אין דער דייַטשער גאַונער-שפראַך -- witsch -- נאַריש, or “foolish, terrible, clumsy/pathetic. not of the thieves world. in the German thieves cant witsch means foolish”. A vitishe nekeyve (vitishe woman) is either a slacker or a prostitute. I can’t prove this for sure, but my sense is that it might come from the same root as vitz, joke (it’s used a couple of times in the corpus to mention laughing at a vitish remark -- which makes it seem kind of similar to witty). I assume the German thieve’s cant that’s being referred to is Rotwelsch, which has its own fascinating history and, in fact, incorporates a lot of Yiddish. In fact, for this reason, some of the first Yiddish linguists were actually criminologists! What an excellent set of associations, no? It has the slangy sense of straightforward of honest; it has a sense of sexual non-normativity (we might use it to read into the relationship between the narrator and the husband) -- and a feminized one at that; it was used by an underground subculture, and, again, the meaning there was quite different -- like the “real” in “keeping it real” it was used to indicate whether or not someone was “in” on the life (tho “real” is used to mean that the person is in, while “vitish” is used to mean they’re not). It’s variety of meanings are more ambiguous than “keep it real”, which can pretty much only be read positively, and it also brings in a tinge of criminality. Though it doesn’t have the same exact connotations as “keep it real”, I think it’s about as ideal of a fit as we’ll get because it’s equally evocative of more below the surface. I also chose “tsu blaybn vitish”, which is “to stay vitish”, as opposed to something like “to make it vitish” to keep the slight ambiguity of time that “keep it real” has -- keeping it real does< I think, imply that there is a pre-existing “real” to which one can adhere, so I wanted to imply the same.

The rest is straight-forward. “Shtup” is one of a few words the Comprehensive English-Yiddish Dictionary (CEYD) gives for “fuck”, and I think it has a nice sound.

Ok, now Russian

женой твой дом наполнен финтифлюшками

чтоб не блудить с пути, ебемся на полу

zhenoy tvoy dom napolnin fintiflyushkami.

shtob ne bludit’ s puti’, yebyomsya na polu

In order to preserve, more or less, the iambic meter, I made a few more changes here -- since Russian, unlike Yiddish, is not a Germanic language, it’s harder to keep the same structure + word order while also maintaining the rhythm. I would translate this back to English as:

“Your house is filled with trifles by your wife. To not stray off the path, we’re fucking on the floor”

So a few notes before we get into the choice of words for “chintz” and “keep it real”. To preserve the iamb, I changed “his” to “your”. This changes the lines from a narration of events to some outside party to a conversation between the two men at the center. Russian also has both formal and informal you (formal you is also the plural form, as is the case in a number of other languages). I went with informal you because I wanted to preserve the fact that his wife has filled his house not their house, as someone pointed out in the original chain (though I don’t think that differentiation is nearly as striking in the 2nd person) and because it’s unlikely you’d be on formal you with someone you’re fucking (unless it’s, like, a kink thing). I honestly didn’t even consider making it formal, but that would actually raise a lot of interesting implications about the relationship between the speaker and the husband, as well as with what that means about the “realness” of the situation. Is, in fact, the narrator only creating a mirage of a more real, more meaningful encounter, while the actual truth -- that there is a woman the husband has made promises to that he’s betraying -- is obscured? that this intimacy is just a facade? Is there perhaps some sort of power differential that the narrator wishes to point out? Or perhaps is the way that the narrator is keeping it real by pointing out the distance between the two of them? there is no pretense of intimacy, the narrator is calling this what it is -- an encounter without deeper significance?

Much to think about, but I actually think the two men do have history -- i think the narrator remembers the house back when it was actually only “his house” and was as yet unfilled with chintz. We also don’t know what they were calling each other prior to this moment. This could be the first time they switched to the informal you.

Ok moving on, I originally translated it as “твой дом наполнен финтифлюшками жены”. Honestly, this sounds more elegant than what I have now, but I ultimately though removing the wife from either a subject or agent position (grammatically, I mean) was too big a betrayal of the original. The original judges the wife. She took an active role in filling the house. If she were made passive, that read is certainly a possible one -- perhaps even the dominant one -- but it could also read more like “we are doing this in a space filled with reminders of his wife and the life they share” -- the action of filling is no longer what’s being focused on. Why do I say the current translation is inelegant? I feel you stumble over it a little, because it’s almost a garden path sentence. This is also an assset though. “Zhenoy tvoy dom napolnen” is a fully grammatical sentence on its own, and it means “Your house is filled by your wife” -- as in English, the primary read is that the wife is what the house is full of. If the sentence makes you stumble, perhaps that’s even good -- we focus, for good reason, on the relationship between the two men, but in a translation, the wife is able to draw more attention to herself.

Ok, chintz: I chose the word “финтифлюшки” (fintiflyushki), meaning trifle/bobble/tchotchke, because it, allegedly, comes from the german phrase finten und flausen, meaning illusions and vanity/nonsense. Once again, I like that the word has a journey, specifically a cross-linguistic one.

Keep it real: this one, frankly, fails to capture the impact of the original, in my opinion, but allow me to explain the reasoning. “Stray off the path” implies, again, that there is some sort of path that both the narrator and the husband were on before the wife and the chintz -- and one they intend to continue taking, one that this act is a maintenance of. It brings in a little irony, since the husband very much is straying from the path of his marriage. “Bludit’“ can also mean to be unfaithful in a marriage (as, in fact, can “stray”). The proto-slavic word it comes from can mean to delude or debauch -- they want to do the latter but not the former.

As for register -- “shtob” is a bit informal. I would write the full version (shto by) in an email, for example. The word for fuck, yebyomsa, is from one of the “mat” words, the extra special top tier of russian swears, definitely not to be said in polite company (and, if you are a man of a certain generation or background, not in front of women; it’s not that the use of mat automatically invokes a male-only environment, but if we’re already thinking that deeply about it. But while we’re on the topic, i will say that in my circles in the US, women use mat much more actively than men (at least in front of me, who was, up until recently, a woman and also a child).)

Ok i think that’s all the comments i have!

#can you imagine if someone called you вы during sex unironically #i'd be like 'ты че? лучше меня тыкай' haha do you guys get it #also if you have not checked out the YBC's OCR software DO IT

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headless-horsepossum · 2 years

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also, when i finally snap what i am going to do is kill everyone involved in producing the chicago style manual

#right now i am editing a book for my great uncle which is a huge relief #bc i edited two graduate theses for two of my mom's students last semester and. Reglear Writing is SO EASY after that #like it's always kind of weird and sometimes tricky to edit stuff that's in a specific field you are not in but like #you can usually figure out everything you need to make sure the grammar is right and everything #(and i am not editing for content thank god. i would charge WAY more if i was)#BUT. the seminary uses chicago style and i don't know Fuck about chicago style #but the one student in particular needed a 100 page thesis edited in Like A Week and there was No One Else Who Could Do It.#so i had to just. check the manual every time i had any question about the formatting #and to be clear i do NOT have an opinion on academic styles and which is better and if i ever do i want to be put out of my misery BUT #the chicago manual of style is laid out like Garbage and i felt violent every time i had to look something up #IT DOESN'T HAVE PAGE NUMBERS IN THE INDEX #i want retribution

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mayonakano-archive · 2 years

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i love playing games in JP because on one hand like, I can sort of read (not much but some) but also I barely recognize anything at the same time~

#leoposting #i'm okay with hiragana but my memorization is poor #and i know very very few kanji sdkjghs #i know tsuki and hikari and ai and neko and that's about it #shows you where my priorities are huh?#i should learn some kanji tho... and grammar. gotta read my textbook a bit more #i can't wait for summer so i can actually throw myself into studying a bit more #i like studying JP a lot actually <3 its tricky as a native English speaker but i'm enjoying it #i love languages tbh. languages and cultures my beloveds <3

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marlynnofmany · 3 months

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Playing Translation Telephone

“Hi,” I said as the door slid open. “Captain Sunlight wants to know how your translations are going.”

Coals sighed. “They’re going. This one’s a mess.” He shook his lizardy head, brick-red scales dull in the light by the doorway. That part of the translation suite was always dim because Trrili liked looming in the shadows there.

But today she was at the workstation in the back, surrounded by glowing screens and a cloud of irritated hisses. “I think we missed a language,” she announced, snapping her pincher arms and angling her antennae into a scowl.

“What, really?” Coals asked. He ran a hand over his head, scales clicking quietly. “How many is that now?”

“Sixssss,” Trrili hissed.

Coals grumbled something I didn’t catch, and walked back over to the workstation.

Curious, I followed and let the door shut behind me. “What kind of project is this one?”

“Old records of a multi-species colonizing effort,” Coals said from his floating chair with the tail hole. “The originals are lost, and all that’s left is this jumble that’s been translated through a succession of languages, none of which they bothered to write down. And they want us to figure out what the originals actually meant.”

“Sounds tricky,” I said. Each of the screens held writing, most in languages I didn’t recognize. Some were notes in the trade language we all spoke, and I was amused to see how much swearing was in Trrili’s notes.

“It is very tricky,” Trrili agreed, jabbing a little wrist finger at the screen in the middle. “The grammar doesn’t match the words, and the idioms are an utter tar hole. It’s anyone’s guess what culture came up with some of these details.”

“I’m pretty sure the bit about rocks is a Strongarm saying,” Coals said. “It makes more sense than a Frillian interpretation.”

“Yes, fine, probably,” Trrili said with an irritated wave of her pinchers. “I’m stuck at this part that goes off on a tangent about the family arrangements of the wildlife. It’s clearly significant, and at least one layer of translation wanted to make sure the full interpretation was spelled out, but that just makes it more confusing.”

“How so?” I asked. I’d gotten the job on this ship because of my animal-care knowledge, so maybe I could offer some insights. I peered at the screen.

“This part,” Trrili said, “Is a recounting of a colonist’s experience in retrieving goods from a shuttle that crashed in a lake. The water creatures seem to have complex social arrangements, and somehow that relates to their behavior toward this particular colonist.” She folded her pinchers and leaned back, glaring at the ancient diary. “Of course this had to be written by someone disinclined to speaking clearly.”

“What kind of behavior is it?” I asked. “Are we talking mating advances, or aggressively protecting the young, or—?”

“Aggressive,” Trrili said immediately. “This word means mouth, possibly teeth specifically, and in the grammatical arrangement that it’s currently configured into, it has to be saying that the thing bit the colonist.”

Coals flipped through documents on another screen. “Do we know what the official name for the creature is?”

Trrili hissed. “Not even close. That’s what this whole tangent is: an attempt at describing it. I’d love to know if it was the original colonist or someone later who decided it would be helpful to tell us that this creature’s ancestors rejected social bonds.”

“Rejected how?” I asked.

Coals brought up another document. “I’ve got something on the legal system of the original colony. Sounds like there were multiple types of family arrangements at play. Possibly this colonist was just musing on a similarity to their own life.”

Trrili hissed. “How does that help us? I don’t see any accounts of this person’s family life, or even their species. We have no way to know if their own parents performed the socially-accepted rituals or not.”

“Wait,” I said. “Is this about the animal’s parents not doing a certain ritual? Like marriage? Is the colonist calling the fish a bastard?”

Both of my alien coworkers looked at me. Coals asked slowly, “That’s an insult in human circles, isn’t it?”

“Yes!”

Trrili threw her pinchers skyward and stalked away from the workstation. “Of course it is. You people are sentimental about everything, including reproduction. This would have been so much simpler if we’d known from the start that there was a human layer to this.”

“So what does it say?” I asked. “The colonist went into the lake to help with the crash, and got bitten by a bastard fish?”

Trrili was walking in circles hissing, so Coals scooted in front of the center screen. “Going by what we’ve figured out so far,” he said, “The colonist was trying to move salvage from the shuttle. Walking through shallow water. The water creatures were of many bright colors — it goes into detail about that, comparing them to refractive prisms and seaspray — but they kept their distance as long as the colonist kept moving. Pretty sure this part says one came in for a bite as soon as the colonist stood still. And that’s where we go off on an elaborate description of the creature’s family arrangements.”

I grinned. “‘Dear diary, today I waded through a lake and got bit by a rainbow bastard fish. Terrible experience; wouldn’t recommend.’”

Coals looked closer. “It does actually say something like that afterward,” he admitted. “There’s a suggestion that the next person to enter the water wear protective clothing.”

Over Trrili’s aggravated hissing, I said, “That colonist might have been a human.”

“Might indeed,” Coals said. He scrolled up through a page of notes. “That could actually shed some light on a couple other spots, now that you mention it.”

Trrili appeared beside us. “Bring up the part about the colony leader mating with someone’s mother.”

I laughed. “I can tell you right now that that’s an insult. The colonist is likely complaining about the boss, not describing something that actually happened.”

Coals looked at Trrili. “Told you we need an insult chart.”

Trrili tilted her head dramatically. “That’s so much work!”

“So’s this,” Coals pointed out. “How about you take another look at what we’ve got so far here, and I’ll start a list of common human insults.”

Trrili took a position in front of the screens, hissing quietly.

“I’ll be happy to help,” I said to Coals. “My people are very creative on that front.”

“So I gather,” Coals said. He scooted over to me, digital notepad at the ready. “And not one of those insults revolves around eggs. Mindblowing.”

“Well,” I said with a tip of my head. “There is the thing about teaching your grandmother to suck eggs. That’s kind of an insult.”

“What?” Coals said. “Never mind. I can tell this is going to be a long list.”

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

#my writing #The Token Human #humans are weird #haso #hfy #eiad #humans are space orcs #translations #in spaaace #thanks to the random person who commented on a previous story #with a mention of their encounter #with what they named the #Caribbean Bastardfish #'oh hey' says I #'what a very human thing to name it. hmmm...'

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lemonandlime22 · 8 months

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May I request Vil, Azul, Trey, and Jade with a Gn! yuu who’s first language isn’t english, so they struggle speaking and struggle with the assignments.

Vil, Azul, Trey, and Jade with Yuu that has a different native language

Warning(s): cussing, fish mafia doing fish mafia things, not edited

A/N: ty for requesting! i hope you like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vil Schoenheit

I personally hc that Vil's native language is German so he understands some of your struggles

he went through the same thing when he was first learningWhich I’m sure was when he was very little

But anyway, he’ll sometimes offer tips on how to pronounce things correctly and remember some grammar things that can get tricky.

If you ask he’ll usually help translate assignments or help you understand them,

You’ll probably have small language study sessions with both Vill and Rook

Heck maybe you’ll learn both French and German if you don’t already

Overall, he's a willing tutor if you ask and p good one at that! Also prob the most helpful out of all these guys

But warning, he is ruthless and incredibly strict if you make it a normal tutoring session.

Good luck!!

Azul Ashengrotto

Get ready to be exploited bb <3

he's like a mini Crowley

Any whooo

As soon as he found out you were having trouble he swooped in and offered you a deal

he'll help you with assignments and learning the language

and you help him reach a wider customer base!

Your basically his free employee.

Btw there is like a 50/50 chance that he either is genuinely helping you or using the twisted wonderland version of google translate.

But there is a small chance that he just so happens to have been wanting to learn your native language

In that situation then you’ll just be helping each other

you tutor his abt your native tongue

and he helps you understand assignments and any words your having trouble with.

Overall, not a terrible experience, tho he is taking advantage of you there’s not much of a downside other then you having to translate the whole menu.

Trey Clover

Another one that would be happy to help

except you don't have to make a contract with him for that help.

He will help you the best he can but it's not much

I can see him kinda knowing one other language, but just enough to get basic info across

but that's about it

whether that's the same as your native language or not, he'll do his best to assist you in understanding some assignments.

He tries to make it fun too, like for every correct answer your able to get, he’ll make you your favorite baked good

If you don’t like baked good, then he’ll use his unique magic on it

Trey will also be very curious abt your culture and see if or how different it is from his.

Overall, prob the most pleasant experience, not rly the most helpful but at least he got the spirit.

Jade Leech

Your basically his free entertainment

this mischievous little bitch will intentionally give you the wrong translations of things

and fuck up your grammar with the power of gaslighting.

Buuut if he were to want to genuinely help you,,,

he would take advantage of the situation to tell you all abt

Every. Single. Type of fungi.

For every new dish you try of his is an assignment he’ll help you with.

Overall, good luck! In school and I’m eating those dishes.

You will need it.

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oddballwriter · 8 months

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hello! Could i please request a one shot where Steven and Marc know about Jake's existence and they have been trying to get used to him and get to know him, and during a mission where they need help they found out Jake has been having like a long term relationship with the reader (who is Sekhmet's avatar)

And Steven its totally freaking out but also crushing on her but Marc its like "wtf how long has this been going on?"

Unexpected Addition

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦��꒦꒷꒷꒦

Part Two

Summary: Life with a new addition is a bit tricky, but Steven and Marc are getting the hang of having Jake around. But what they don't expect is that Jake has a bit of a life of his own, including a love. Which sort of adds another addition.

Warnings: The boys are fighting. Steven being a love sick puppy. Marc is kind of a dick in this not gonna lie. Mentions of some factors of D.I.D. . It's mentioned that Jake told reader about Marc's past, to a degree. There's some arguing about you and Jake being a thing for so long and kind of referenced that you and Jake technically overlap with Marc and Layla by a hair.

This fic is actually more of Steven just having a big stinkin' crush on you and Jake and Marc yelling at each other.

Author’s Snip: I feel like this is good but not completely on the mark. Anon, if you want to throw me another scenario that's Jake centric with this idea/world then feel free. Just give me a sign.

Notes: I semi-proof read this so if there's weird grammar and shit just ignore it.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Jake was a surprise. Well, in the logic of common D.I.D. systems not really, but in the sense that neither Steven nor Marc knew he was there. It felt like a bit of a privacy breach to think that Jake's just watched everything go down from the shadows only to leave as soon as he came, and it was a bit unnerving to know that Jake was more off the hinges. But it's not like they could really do anything about him. Jake's a part of the system, whether they like it or not.

Jake honestly wasn't that much of a change up though. He usually did his own things and kept in his lane for the most part. Even if his tactics were more... forceful than Marc and Steven's were. Otherwise Jake would be something of an allusive one. He didn't seem to do much but they had a hunch that there was more than just Jake Lockley, the third alter, cabbie by daylight, and system parachute and low key Khonshu's hitman. And there was.

Because there was you.

Marc and Steven found out about you because they were on a mission that Khonshu demanded that they do. And it turns out Sekhmet had the same idea for you.

It wasn't like the two were in on it and it was a ruse to get you to meet the others. It was genuinely just an "Oops, did know you were gonna get it." sort of thing.

"Jake? Wasn't expecting a surprise team up with you. Usually boyfriends surprise their girlfriends flowers." you laugh under your breath as you try to not catch any unwanted attention. You didn't need anymore than the " Excuse me?" from Marc to know that it wasn't Jake you've bumped into. "I'll explain once we get this done. Just follow my lead for now." you say as you move on with what you were planning on doing.

"Okay... so..." you roll out trying to think of what to say after having just handled the mission, and now sitting at an empty park bench in your regular clothes, "My name is Y/N. What's yours?" you settle on as you lift your hand for a handshake, trying your best to have a non-nervous smile. "How do you know about Jake?" Marc asked, ignoring your polite gesture of formality.

"Marc. That is so rude. She's trying to be nice." Steven scolded from the puddle at his feet.

"Me and Jake are... together." you mumble out. "How?" Marc demanded. He looked so angry and menacing while he interrogated you. You've seen a lot of mean looking guys but when it's the face of someone you recognize as your boyfriend, you felt a bit trapped by the tense energy. You barely squeak out "I met him a while back.".

"Marc, if you just let me explain without making a scene it'll all make sense." you quickly speak out before he almost interrupts you, "How do you know my name. You were acting like you didn't know it a seco-".

Marc violently twitches before the tense scowl on his face disappears and is replaced with a softer worried expression after a second less violent twitch.

He looks at you, he sees that you looks a bit frightened, and then he speaks, with a British accent "I'm sorry about that... that-that wasn't me. I didn't switch us." he says, "Must have been-" he tries to say before you speak. "Steven, right?" you ask in a soft voice. He's caught a bit off guard that you said his name. He points to himself with a "Me?" and nods "Yeah.".

You stare at each other for a bit before you speak up. "Jake hasn't told you about me, I know. He just barely started being known to you guys and he didn't want to rush anything. I understood that and did my best to stay clear so that I wouldn't shock you two but I knew that there would be a fumble at some point." you explain.

Steven listens intently till you're done. It was either that or listening to Marc and Jake yell at each other in the reflection of the puddles.

"I only know about you guys because he wanted me to be ready when the time came for him to think that it was a good time for us to actually meet. I didn't mean to throw any of you through a loop like that. It's just been a while since I've seen him and I got excited." you apologize as you explain more.

"It's okay , love. It's just that we hardly know anything about Jake and finding out something so personal was a bit jarring." Steven says. You feel a little flutter at being called "love" for a second before Steven speaks again. He subconsciously touched your hand. "And I'm sincerely sorry about Marc's behavior. You were being courteous and he was acting like you were a danger when you were making it clear that your and Jake had some type of acquaintance." he apologized.

"It's okay." you comment. "Jake told me that Marc would be a bit... apprehensive about me. That's just how he is." you add.

"And me?" Steven questions with a bit of curiosity to what Jake might have said about him. "He said that if I meet you then you might be a bit flighty. Said that you were easy to spook." you say in a bit of a laugh.

Steven got to see more of you after that. You would spend some time to get to know each other more, which Jake approved of. He thought it was nice to see the two parts of his life that he kept separate finally meet. It was kind of like having cats meet for the first time where you watch them interact and then get comfortable with each other.

Steven, admittedly, and a bit too obviously, took a huge liking towards you. And you the same. You were fascinated with the other. He liked hearing about what you did as the avatar of Sekhmet and what that entailed for you both in mission and personal life. Along with what you just did in your regular civilian life. As for you, you were amazed to see a person who acted, talked, and even moved so differently than the person you usually associated his face and body with.

Unfortunately, you and Marc weren't taking to each other too nicely. Well, you were still perfectly friendly towards him any time you saw him. It was Marc who wasn't very enchanted by you.

Matter of fact, he and Jake were still at it with each other.

"How long has this been a thing?" Marc asked with the same demanding voice he did to you. "Three years." Jake answered in a nonchalant tone. "Three years?!" Marc repeated, unpleasantly surprised by the answer. Jake scoffed "Didn't she say we've known each other for a while?" Jake mentioned.

"So you've just been seeing this random woman for three years behind our back-? Behind Layla's back?" Marc fumbled out with anger. "You," Jake interrupted, "- Sent divorce papers to Layla. Not me." Jake clarified. "Not to mention. She was your wife. You made it very clear to Steven that she was off limits and I already knew that she was off limits. So sorry I went and found my own woman instead of hitting up yours." Jake quipped.

"Yeah and now it seems like Steven likes yours too." Marc said making his own quip.

"Good!" Jake bursted, "At least he's courteous enough to treat her with some respect and get to know her.". Marc would have spoken again but just beat him to it. "You're acting like I was going to hide you from each other forever. I would have had you two meet at some point once you were used to me. You three just met earlier then I would have liked." Jake explained.

"Did she know about Layla?" Marc asked. "Of course I told her about Layla! I was open and honest about my situation and what that would spell out for our relationship." Jake answered with an emphasis on the words open and honest. "How much did you tell her about us?" Marc demanded again before Jake exploded.

"Everything!" Jake barked. "I told her fucking everything I could! I told her about you. About Steven. Layla. Our condition. Everything about us, she knows. I wanted her to be ready for when you cross paths. I told her how to behave and what to watch out for so that she wouldn't startle either of you. And you know what? She did! She was going to explain everything to you if you would just let her fucking speak instead of grill her like that." Jake lectured.

Listening to the two fight was something that Steven would usually ignore. It seemed like arguing while getting to know each other was a thing in the system. Usually Steven would intervene if it was getting too bad or he was brought into it. But neither of those caught his attention because he was busy paying attention to you. Again.

"You look so different." you say almost out of the blue. "Excuse me." Steven spoke. "You look so different from Jake even though it's the same body." you remark.

"You have such different eyes. Yours are all doe eyed and round. Jake has a resting angry face. It's so weird." you smile. "And you smile different too. Jake only smiles a little and with the corner of his mouth, so it looks like a smirk. You smile with your cheeks." you add.

Steven flustered and felt shy under your gaze. The way you were talking didn't speak ill of neither him or Jake. You were speaking in admiration at what made them so different.

"You also don't have the little paperboy hat or gel." you point out as you look at the curls on his head. "Jake usually wears a little bit of gel to slick back some of his hair. I sometimes forget just how curly it is." you say as you gently reach to play with a few little curls. Steven honestly felt like he should be coughing up wings by now with the amount of butterflies he had going in his stomach and chest as you touched him. Even if it was just to admire him for a moment.

He did feel a bit guilty for enjoying your words and affirmation a little too much. He wasn't entirely sure if Jake would act the same as Marc did when he accidentally made contact with Layla. But then again, he hasn't had Jake barging in and being defensive about you. It felt weird to think about it this way but at least Jake was, seemingly, sharing. That or he's too focused on Marc when he's not the one fronting.

Steven did wish that Marc was nicer to you and more open to meeting you. You were very sweet and treated them nicely.

Maybe Marc would get to see you look at him and complement all the details about him like his eyes and his smile. You could get to know him and what he likes and how that contrasts with you. maybe you two could get used to fighting together in the cases that you bump into each other again.

#moon knight #moonknight #moon knight x reader #moonknight x reader #steven grant #steven grant x reader #marc spector #marc spector x reader #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader

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j-u-u-z-o · 11 months

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“Sorry, We’re Opening Later!” (Kisuke x F.Reader)

Synopsis: It was supposed to be a regular normal store opening but due to certain staff circumstances, they’re opening later. Sorry! AN: Hi everybody! Surprise, it’s me! It’s been a while since I’ve written a fic. About three weeks ago, I had a fever for a week and felt like crap. Which ultimately led me to having a writers block for another two to three weeks. 🙃

*please wear a -more-durable jacket when it’s pouring rain outside! :/

I’ve been trying to get back into what I love doing - writing! So here’s a fic that I wrote I while I was at work (which is when my writers block ended) two days go. I thought of this before I got ready for work but i think it was for weeks (cuz the title was what I only drafted lol). So this story might be long but hey… I tried to get it to be more “interesting” and funny! Anyway~~it’s done and I hope you guys enjoy it ❤️🥹 Also I think about this tricky man a lot - show him love!!!

Please like/reblog or comment! It would be greatly appreciated!

Warning: teasing, foreplay, dry humor humping, mirror kink, slip n slide, eventual smut, penetration, Grammar

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it’s a bright and quiet morning in the Urahara Shōuten. The kids, jinta and ururu, were dropped off to school by Tessai. After he sent them to school, he them to school, he texted you to let you know that he’ll be coming back to the shop a bit later to do groceries and then window shop in the local markets. You woke up early to help kisuke with the store opening operations but the said man was still sleeping next to you, in bed. What is he tired of? You thought. But you decide to take on the task while he is asleep.

You walk out of the bedroom after doing your morning routine and headed to the register. The shop consisted of candy, sundries and products from soul society; The morning operations consisted of counting the money in the register, updating it, replenishing the candy and other items and lastly, cleaning up the store. theres natural sunlight in the store so you didn’t have to turn on the lights, even when the front door is open, but the store doesn’t open in the next few hours.

As you’re standing by the register, in the naturally lit room, counting the money, you randomly take note on how old the register is. Probably over 50 years old you think. The shop owner wouldn’t buy the most up-to-date technology but he’d build anything by hand that would be useful for the business. He’s a cheapskate but that’s what you love about the shop keeper, who is also your boyfriend, nevertheless.

While you’re counting the “dull” money in the register, you also thought about how does the store even make money until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist and a stubbled chin rub against your neck. It was none other than Kisuke. The owner of the “Urahara Shōuten”.

“Good morning, Mr. Scientist.” You smiled and while still counting the funds. The owner smirked at your remark. “Is that how you speak to a manager, miss?”

“Hmm. Probably. Because I’m the one doing your work while you were sleeping.” His arms tighten a little around your waist. “Plus, it’s inappropriate flirt in a workplace, kisuke.” You added. He hummed in agreement and leaned forward to feel your form. You can feel his chest against your back. He’s so warm that it feels like a hug from your favorite blanket.

“Maaa…there’s nobody here in the store, y/n-chan” he said. “Also, the store doesn’t open in two hours.” He remarked as his hand caresses your stomach, slowly. “Plus…” he smirks “are you supposed to be in only your tank top and panties at work?” He teased. You can feel his lips turn into a smile on your neck.

“We have work to do, Mr. Shopkeeper.” You emphasized but there’s no tinge behind it. Besides, his slow caress on your stomach gives you butterflies that it made you slowly back your covered behind on his covered member. “Hmm?” Kisuke raised his eyebrows and looked down at your boldness. Your covered behind rubbing his member all around in circles that you feel how hard he slowly gets every second. Meanwhile, kisuke is still admiring the view from behind - his -already hardened- covered member getting all the attention this early in the morning.

You noticed how quiet he is and looked back at him. His lower half leaning towards your ass, his mouth is lopsided; you can’t see his eyes because of his long blonde bangs under his straw hat. Kisuke began to slowly roll his hips up to your covered behind to not lose your warmth which is hugging his member in between your ass - it almost feels like a thick stick now, you think.

A few minutes passed and kisuke makes an open mouth groan while you ripped the receipt off from the register after updating it, and placed it inside the drawer to keep for store records. The shop keeper is still keeping himself busy even though there’s still more work to be done before the store opens.

Just as he was about to move his hands down to your hips to keep you at the counter, you broke the “small connection” by turning to the stock room to pick up two boxes of candy and headed to the front of the store. “Kisuke, you need to do your work.”

The man whines at the “lost” intimate moment and reminder. you should’ve looked back to see what he looked like. A sad puppy? maybe.

“that’s not fair y/n-chan.” He whined. “We aren’t open yet and it’s just the two of us.” He reminded you again while watching you from the counter - hiding his hard-on in his green pants. “Well…at least, I know I’m the hardworking one.” You said while unpacking the candy. He gasped in contempt. “Hmm…you got me, y/n-chan~~.” He walked to the other side of the store and started organizing the sundries.

A few minutes passed, you sighed after finishing up stocking the bottom shelves and then got up to raise yourself. Of course, the old-perverted shopkeeper was watching you get up from your knees. You turned to grab the broom but you got intercepted when said man grabbed your wrist from behind and pulled you to his chest. He turned your head and his lips met yours. The sounds of his and your lips smacking against each other in the middle of the store makes you feel hot. He suddenly dips his tongue into your mouth and you suck it, gently. “Mmm…” you moaned.

“I think you should finish what you started, y/n-chan.” he cooed close to your ear. “Maybe I can help you with that.” He said deeply. Your eyes widened when he walked you to his bedroom and gently pushed you down to the edge of the bed. You were automatically on all fours and felt the bed dip when kisuke got on it.

“You owe me for doing your job, kisuke.” You said as his hips met your covered ass while he untied his green kimono. “That’s what I’m going to do, honey~.” You looked back in response to his sudden endearment and slowly looked up at his toned upper body, especially his deep pelvis. “It rude to look at me like that, y/n.” He teased and gently grips your hips and slowly grinds his hips up to your ass. You’re still looking back at him - this time in disbelief. You were about to protest…At his audacity, but you are the one who started this. So you turned your head and looked down at the sheets.

Kisuke chuckled at how silent you are. “cat catched your tongue, y/n~?” You feel his finger tips tighten on your hips so you can’t move away. He’s a tease, yes. But also childish at times. “I can change my mind, kisuke.” You taunted.

“Maaa…you know that I’m just being silly~.” He laughs as he puts his hand on your back and gently pushes you down against the bed. Your covered ass is in the air and your nipples feel the cool sheets under your tank top. “You know I love you.” He admits while taking off his green kimono top and gets back to rolling his hips on your covered ass.

Moments pass and the room is quiet, except his groans, the sounds of the sheets moving under his feet. You can feel his covered member rub against your covered slit. You moan softly at the sensation. Especially when he starts to buck his hips against you. Your covered nipples are rubbing against the sheet due to his change of pace - from rolling to bucking.

“this has to go.” He points out as he easily pulls down your panties. He hummed in satisfaction when he sees the wet lines of your arousal stretch when he pulled it down. “Yare yare…y/n, I have a lot of work to do, then.” He teased. Kisuke leaned one hand beside your head and leaned over to kiss you. You snapped your head up from the sheets to deepen the kiss when you felt his fingertips rubbing your pussy, slowly and gently.

Your clit throbs each time he circles it and goes back to rubbing it entirely; you lose the rhythm of the heated kiss whenever he flicks it. Kisuke chuckled and dips his tongue to meet yours. You’re both circling each other’s appendages. especially the tip of your tongues which sparks your arousal in you.

You manage to lay on your elbow while the other arm tries to wrap around his neck. You rolled your hips backwards to get more friction on his finger until he dips it inside your pussy. “Oh…” you breathed in his mouth at the sudden intrusion and moaned in the kiss when he curled it. “You like that,baby?” He whispered while thrusting his finger in your wet pussy. “Mmm…” you whimpered. He breaks the kiss “Good”. His leans back while he pulls down the front of your tank top. Your tits spill out and your nipples rubs against the soft sheets.

He pulls out his finger and you whine at the lost connection. He rubs your arousal against his finger and thumb. He licks the fluid around the fingertips and hummed deeply. You throb at the praise. Kisuke then sits on his knees while he untied his green pants and pulled out his slightly curved cock. He strokes it while looking at your wet pussy. “Y/n…” he said. “Where’s that…little mirror you have?”

You lift your head up and looked back at the man curiously and then at the wooden dresser. Kisuke follows where your eyes are looking at and gets up and grabs the medium circle-shaped item from the top of the dresser. “What are you going to do with it?”

“I want to give you a show!” He said proudly that you almost rolled your eyes but your curiosity gets the best of you. “First row for my lovely lady~” he smiles. He gets back on the bed and slides the mirror between your legs. You look down and you can see the reflection of your pussy. “I see. This better be a good one.” You mumbled. Kisuke leans down in the reflection to give a cheeky grin and puts up a “peace sign” next to it that you giggled.

“Yes, yes, only for you~” he strokes his cock once more and you see it in the reflection and spreads your legs a bit more. Your eyes widen when kisuke shifts closer to you. You feel his big hands on your waist to get into a good position. “Don’t look away y/n-chan” he commands. Suddenly, you felt his cock slide in between your wet pussy lips and the tip rubs against your clit.

You gasped at the feeling and titled your head when he slides it slowly. “Ah…” you breathed. Kisuke slowly rolled his hips to feel your warm lips hug his cock. His girth is coated in your arousal -just wet. You moan when it rubs your pussy entirely. Thank to the curve of his girth. Kisuke breathes shakily due to the warm and wet feeling surrounding his cock between your lips. “Feels good?” He looks at the back of your head tilting side to side - knowing that he’s getting you all lost in thought.

Your clit throbs at the wet sounds from your pussy due to kisuke’s slow strokes. “Go…faster..” you murmur. He submits and spreads your legs wider and grips your outer thighs and bucks into your pussy lips. The skin slapping sounds makes him hot that he bucks faster so that he closes that small gap between his pelvis and your ass. “Ah…shit.” He hissed and smacks your ass.

You manage to keep looking down at the reflection - his cock thrusting quickly between your lips and your thighs jiggling. The sound of kisuke open- mouth groans behind you and your breasts bouncing uncontrollably makes you feel all the fluttering sensations in your lower stomach. “K…ki…kisuke!” You breath skips when he moves faster. He hisses and grips your hips tightly - pulling you to his girth . The friction from the curve of his cock makes your hips gyrate until you cummed in seconds.

Your body freezes and your face is planted on the bed sheets. You moan heavily when kisuke slowly flicks the tip on your wet throbbing pussy - you can even hear its wet sounds and his groans. Kisuke stops and takes the mirror from under you and tossed somewhere in the room.

"Yaaa~" he said breathlessly. "I'm a good boyfriend don't you think, y/n-chan~" he leans over your form and kisses your temple. You turn and lay down on your side in response. Kisuke chuckles and does the same - grinning. You looked at the man across from you.

"You didn't cum...yet."

“Eh? Me? You're too kind, y/n. I owed you." He reminds you. You rose up and slid a hand down from his chest to his cock and stroked it. He moans and caresses you breast.

"We have a few more minutes left for the store to open" you said as you straddle the shopkeeper and lowered yourself - chest to chest. You reach down to position his cock to your entrance. You're still wet, so it's easy to slide it right in.

You look down at the man and see his mouth shape an "o". He spreads his legs open to get in deeper. You place a hand on his chest and begin grinding on his girth, slowly. Just how he likes it as your lips meets his, passionately. Moments passed and kisuke pushes his feet in and rolls his hips in circles - in sync with your pace. "Mmm." You moan heavily in the kiss when he grinds into your pussy - his tip hitting the right spot. Eventually, you lifted your self. Both hands on each side of his head and you rolled your hips while looking down at him.

Heavy breathes, moans, the sounds from the bed sheets of your guy's movements fills the bedroom. Kisuke is enjoying the view - your breasts, In fact. He moves his hands up to caress them while looking down at his cock entering your pussy. "Y/n....chan." he said breathlessly. Kisuke then wraps an arm around your waist and the other hand on your upper back and pulls you down. His lips meets yours again while he bucks up into your pussy. The light sounds of skin slapping begins - his thrusts gets harder when your warm walls clenches his girth that his toes curl.

"Ah..kisuke" you moaned in the kiss when he brought a finger down to slowly rub your rear in circles. your clit throbs at the touch as well as the feathery feeling of his pelvis rubbing against your clit, simultaneously. He feels it all of that inside of you. As a result, he moves his hands up under your arms and grips your shoulder, lifts his hips up from the bed and thrusts deeply into your sobbing pussy - making sure every inch of his cock gets gripped by your walls and the warmth hugging it each time it enters your pussy.

Your skin slapping against his and your moans are music to his ears. He knows exactly what your body likes and how not to rush through sex. Just slow and steady.

He groans deeply as he starts to thrust fast in the deep valley of your pussy, the white rings are showing on the end of his cock. His grip on your shoulders moves down to your waist to anchor you by his controlled thrusts. "Ungh!" He moans shakily.

You moan at his deep unrelenting strokes. "Ohhh!" Your breasts are bouncing around while kisuke hisses when your walls start to pulsate uncontrollably. Oh..that's it y/n...so tight." You whimper at the praise and you start to squirt on him and he keeps going.

The sounds of your fluids are obvious each time his thighs slaps against yours. "Right there...good girl...agh." he mumbles.

“Agh!” He quickly pulls out his cock and cum up shoots on your lips. You kiss the breathless man passionately as you rub your clit against his length. You both moan in the kiss.

Post orgasm hits the both of you and you lay on him. “We open in 5 minutes, y/n.”

You ignore him and his your face under his chin. “Hardwork pays off in the end.” He chuckles and eventually falls asleep.

Epilogue:

“Hmm?” Tessai walks up to the storefront and sees that the shop isn’t open. “What going on? It’s 10am.” He opens the sliding door and puts down the groceries at the genkan, concerned. “Kisuke-dono?”

“Oh. Tessai-san!” Kisuke waves his fan at the man. “I’m glad you made it back.” He smiles behind the counter.

“Why isn’t the store open?”

“Ah! About that, I didn’t get to finish the store operation in time so we’re opening later today.” He answered.

“How come? Did something happen while I was gone?” Tessai frowns. “Maaa…no need to get all worked up, Tessai-san.” Kisuke grins behind his fan. “We sorted it out, safely.” He expresses. Tessai is still frowing. “We? Y/n”? He refers.

“Correct!” Kisuke opens his fan cheerfully. “Let’s finish the rest of the tasks before we open.” He picks up the groceries and walks to the kitchen.

“Yes, urahara-dono!” Tessai begins sweeping around the store.

Note: that is the only task left.

End.

#kisuke urahara x reader #kisuke x reader #urahara kisuke #urahara kisuke x reader #kisuke bleach #kisuke urahara #urahara kisuke smut #Bleach #bleach x female reader #bleach x reader #bleach x you #bleach x y/n #bleach tybw #tybw bleach #bleach imagines #bleach scenarios #kisuke #fave

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zarla-s · 1 year

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How do you decide when to use Spamtons little speech quirk and what to have him say? Your writing for him feels so natural!

Spamton’s speech pattern is surprisingly tricky! It has a lot of weird little things to it, haha. I’m glad you think I’m doing a good job though. :D Generally I try to keep in mind a few things for him...

Spamton misspells things a lot, but not always in the same way (with exceptions). He also likes substituting numbers for letters, usually in words that get caught in a spam filter to try to get around it but not always. ( [[Amazed at thi5 amazing transformation?]], NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING AB04T! , SOMEONE LEFT [There] SOULS, [Lyeing Around......] , YOU FILLED YOUR [Inventorium] WITH [Half-Pr1ce Sallamy], AND THE [Number on theB4ck]!, [Unforgettable D3als] , [Pr3mIUm luxjerry w4tch] )

When Spamton takes over the narration or influences it, he still misspells things. (CONGRULATIONS YOU ARE THE 100th VISITOR!!! )

Spamton is bad at tenses and mixes them up a lot. This is one of the most endearing things to me for some reason, haha. ( I'M SO [Proud] OF YOU, I COULD [Killed] YOU! , I HAVE [Becomed] NEO. , MY ESTEEM CUSTOMER, THAT GUY [Steal my look]!! OKAY, MAYBE HE [Steal]ed BACK WHAT I TOOK FROM HIM, WE WILL ALSO [Divorced] )

He messes up pluralization or grammar related to it at times. ( HOTSINGLE, 100 CUSTOMER, AN [Valuable Item])

He actually swears a fair amount but it’s usually censored. ( YOU'RE [$!$!] RIGHT! , DEALS SO GOOD I'LL [$!$$] MYSELF!, [$!?!] THE PRESSES! )

His capitalization in his bracket words/phrases is inconsistent and he spells things wrong in them at times as well. He usually capitalizes the first word though. ( [[A LimiTed Time Only!]] , [[Designed BY The Classics]], [[ Sucbscrube ]] , THEN [[WHY]] GO TO A DUMPSTER!!! , YOU'VE GOT THE [[LIGHT.]] , [ succumb to the worm ], SO HAVE I GOT A DEAL THAT'S [sweet Sunday creme] TO ANY SELF RESPECTING [Ball Nut]! , [fluffey] , [Pracitce]).

His capitalization in general is kind of all over the place. ( LIGHT nER! HEY-HE Y HEY!!!, THat'll be 1997 KROMER., ENL4RGE Yourself, I USED TO be A BIG SHOT. , I WOn'T FORCE YOU. , It's still DARK... SO DARK! )

He gets the verb in sentences wrong at times or has too many/too few words in a phrase. ( HEAR THOSE [Balloons]???, [Cool down with a]!!!, [Wake up and the smell the] MY DEAD CARCASS!!! ) His grammar also gets wonky, especially with the tricky homophones like your/you’re or their/there/they’re. ( YOUR A BIGSHOT!! , WELL LET THIS BE A [Email] , SHOW OFF YOU'RE [Big Shot] )

He sometimes doesn’t finish a sentence at all, or leaves a blank space. ( BUY [KeyGen] FROM ME AT [The Low Low Price Of] , MEANWHILE I CAN [sneak out the back] AND, [Hurry now]!!! [Blink] AND YOU'LL MISS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , THAT'S WHY THEY'RE COMING TO [kill] ME RIGHT NOW. THEY'RE COMING TO ). Sometimes he just says one or two words or sentence fragments. (MONEY NO, KEYGEN) He likes repeating unfinished sentences as well, usually when he’s worked up about something. ( THE MEN INSIDE WOULD THE MEN INSIDE WOULD , I'LL GET SO. I'LL GET SO. )

He uses periods to emphasize certain parts of a sentence and sometimes he just leaves brackets or carets or other punctuation in his speech. ( YOU'RE LIGHT neR< AREN'T YOU? , GO BACK. AND PUT. THE DISK. BACK. WHERE YOU GOT IT. ).

Sometimes he has spaces in the middle of words or in the wrong places ( DID YOU HAVE AN YMORE?, I'M A SALESMAN , ). Sometimes it’s just a mess in general ( DOESN;T IT?KID? ), and sometimes he likes to combine words ( [HonestMan] , [handsomeGuy] ).

My general approach to this is just to keep any typos I make while doing his dialogue lol.

He drops out of caps usually when he’s scared or thoughtful (not accounting for after his battle), and usually when he’s thinking about Mike.

A fair amount of his substitutions are vaguely threatening or allude to some kind of violence or suffering. He mentions death, dying, and screaming a lot, usually in unexpected contexts ( PRICES SO LOW, EVERYONE I KNOW IS [[Dead]]!!!, VACATIONING IN [Burning acid] , NOW I'M THE [[It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!]] GUY! ).

Sometimes these threats are relevant warnings if you know what he’s up to ( TAKE THIS DEAL AND YOU WILL [[Die]]!! IT'S THAT GOOD!!!, [Die Now] AND I'LL THROW IN [50] [Bullets] FOR FREE!, THIS IS [One Purchase] YOU WILL [Regret] FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! ). There’s always a sort of “off” vibe to him that makes him feel a little dangerous.

As an aside, Spamton talks about people beating him up a lot.

He likes turning phrases about refunds into non-refunds, haha ( [No Money Back Guaranttee] ). He’ll sometimes just admit outright he’s trying to scam you ( HOW'S AN INNOCENT GUY LIKE ME SUPPOSED TO [Rip People Off] , [What's yours is mine] AND [What's yours is mine]. ).

He’s extremely excited and shouting almost all the time, so he very rarely has only one exclamation point about anything. Usually it’s three but it can go higher. Just go ham on the exclamation points lol.

[[Hyperlink blocked.]] is a tricky one. He does use it a lot, but the context for it is hard to pin down. Usually it relates to things like souls, what it is that’s controlling him or what it wants, or how exactly he wants to escape it. Other times it’s sort of privileged or secret information that would be caught by a filter and blocked, or it’s some scammy thing or another that’d be blocked for user safety. Usually it’s something that someone wouldn’t want the player to know.

He does use sales pitch, adspeak, or internet slang substitutions a lot, ( [Friend Request Accepted] , [[Anything You See On TV!]], [[Workout-Ready Body]], [Luxurious Basement Apartment] , [[Pass My Savings Onto You!]] ) but not all the time! A lot of his substitutions are single words, usually on an odd tangent to the original word or just unusual in general ( [Deep Abyss] , YOUR [[Ant-sized]] [[Rapidly-shrinking]] LIFE!! , [Wacky Stacks] , [Little Nipper], LIKE MANY [buzzing] AND [burning] CREATORS, GET OUT YOUR CYBER [skin wallets] ).

Sometimes they’re just a normal word in the sentence ( YOU GOT [Guts] KID!! , [Part] OF MY BEAUTIFUL [Heart], LOOK IN MY [Eyes] LOOK IN MY [Nose] LOOK IN MY [Mouth] ).

I tend to think about his substitutions a bit like the Orz, where a substituted word has alternate or deeper meaning than you’d think BECAUSE it was substituted. By [LIGHT], did Spamton literally mean light, or does light have another connotation to it he’s adding that’s not clear? I like thinking of the substitutions adding a potential multiple meaning layers to a word, haha. Maybe he can’t help it, or maybe that particular word is hinting at something more...

He can say full sentences without any substitutions in them, but they’re rare ( WHAT ARE THESE STRINGS!? , YOU'RE LEAVING!? WHAT ABOUT MY DISK!?!? , TOO MANY EXCESS VACATION DAYS?? TAKE A GOD DAMN VACATION STRAIGHT TO HELL, I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I HAD! MY LIFE ADVICE! , BUT KRIS, IF YOU REFUSE. THAT'S YOUR CHOICE. I CAN'T FORCE YOU.). Interestingly, they often involve him saying he can’t force Kris to do something, something he says over and over and over. He seems very preoccupied with it.

#deltarune #spamton #walls of text #asks and answers #meta #in a sense

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secondhandsorrows · 4 months

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3 Quick Tips on Writing Dialogue

Okay… so one of the biggest writing hurdles I often face is writing dialogue. Good dialogue. I know such a statement can be pretty subjective, but there’s something to dialogue that demands attention. There’s things involved like subtext, purpose, characterization, and sense of realism. On the other hand, there’s also character voice, expression, body language, and dialogue tags (sparingly, if you can)… all of which can be important, too. Sometimes it’s tricky for me to get a handle on writing dialogue that sounds natural, less stilted, and more as though the characters are real and conversing like we humans would (not to say dialogue should include unnecessary filler-words and repetitions we tend to overuse in our day-to-day conversations).

Today, I’m going to share three quick tips I’ve accumulated from research and from my own experiences in creative fiction workshops on improving your dialogue.

1. Avoid needless filler-words and phrases.

Let’s just get this one out of the way. I know this was already mentioned a few sentences ago, but it needs to be further cemented. This is the kind of fluff that we use in day-to-day chatter, like misused grammar, useless small talk, and talking in circles that, more often than not, comes across as boring and trivial. We may think this is a good way to create realistic dialogue, but alas, there is such thing as too-realistic dialogue. Focus instead on crafting dialogue that sounds as natural as possible. At least, try to get rid of the fluff, or use it with caution, as it may bog down your pacing and slow down your readers.

This doesn’t mean you can’t utilize some small talk, repetitions, filler words, or speech patterns like stammering. Rules are sometimes meant to be bent, just a little. It can be used to create distinctions between unique character voices, lighten the mood, express an emotion that is being felt, if you know where to put them. Dialogue can — and should — be personalized to each character.

This brings me to the next point:

2. Refrain from revealing too much information at once.

Not only is this considered info-dumping, but giving away a ton of detail in a piece of dialogue can come across as stiff and out-of-place. Though it may seem convenient to utilize dialogue as a way to pass information to the reader without getting all repetitive or boring within the narrative, it tends to break away from what the character (or a real person) might actually say. Especially when it’s given to a character that has no reason or incentive to recite drawn-out exposition to give the reader some background. This can be attributed to being uncharacteristic.

Try tweaking it as to fit your character’s voice: their mood, how they communicate their values, which aspects they find more important to discuss, which topics they actively avoid or tend to overlook. Also keep in mind who they’re speaking to, and whether or not they need to hear the information, as well.

3. Think about what is being left un-said.

Now, I’ve mentioned subtext quite a bit, already. Subtext, as the definition goes from Literaryterms.net, is “the unspoken or less obvious meaning or message in a literary composition, drama, speech, or conversation.” Knowing this, we can implicitly communicate to the reader covertly a truer meaning or mood within a conversation or interaction between characters: that a character is smiling through a grimace trying to look as if he’s enjoying what his friend had cooked for him when in reality he’s forcing it to spare their feelings. Or, when a woman says “she’s fine” when actually she’s not fine (real). Her answer is forced, her tone clipped, her arms are firmly crossed and she’s angling herself away. How about when a character is pining for another? They might stammer over their words and are prone to blushing whenever they’re around.

There’s a lot of different ways you can go about using subtext. I probably could’ve added a lot more, but all I want to say for now is that the beauty of subtext allows to stir interest and to further character examination, especially in dialogue. There is more that can be said, but the characters may choose not to. It could also be used to hint at the reader, to foreshadow, facilitate themes, make contradictions, to build tension and emotion… there’s internal conflict that can be explored here. Let your characters tell their own stories in their own, unique ways.

That’s all, for now. Hope this helped!

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