#tw for tags i always have a lot to say and have written thoughts on this only privately in my notes app

[russellsppttemplates]

A little hope (Lando Norris) (Part 1)

Lando will give you all the time you need if it means you will work things out

Note: english is not my first language. I don't think I've ever written a piece without closure/closing off the subject like this, so constructive thoughts are appreciated... might do a part two depending on how this one goes, let me know your thoughts on it! ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions a couple's fight, self-deprecation moments, body image insecurity, signs and symptoms of anxiety

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Here, gorgeous", Lando said as he opened the door for you, letting you in first and following suit, finding your places around the table as the meeting was about to start.

"Thanks, love", you whispered as you set your things down on the table, turning on your laptop as you gathered everything you needed to show them.

"Whatever you want to do, we'll do", Lando noted a while into the meeting already. He didn't know that much about graphic design, so if his graphic designer said they should do it, they were going to.

The frown on your face, however, didn't seem to agree, "I spoke to the marketing guys, as well", you looked at Anna as she nodded, "and they think this is also the best strategy if we want to expand it to this market", you clarified.

"Then that's how it's going to go, Y/N", Callum asserted, noticing your slightly antsy posture as you moved on to the next point of discussion.

This had been happening for a while, the thoughts plaguing you with the fact that, in the simples of terms, you worked for your boyfriend. While the relationship had nothing to do with how you got the job and position, and inside the team, no one seemed too phased by it, part of you wondered if you were taken differently because of your relationship.

"Alright, Y/N?", Tara said, calling you back to planet Earth, "yes, sorry. But I agree with that, yes, but could we do this earlier, maybe this week? It would match up with all the dates we have", you answered, earning everyone's approval as they booked the shoot for Friday.

A knock on the door startled you as a woman peeked, "I'm sorry, I'm looking for Anna? From Marketing?", she asked, looking at you, "are you her?", she pointed her finger to you.

"She's my girlfriend, Y/N, she's our graphic designer", Lando said with a big smile.

"That's Anna", you said as the ginger haired girl raised her hand, "I'm Y/N", you murmured the last part.

The uneasiness took over your body again when you noticed the woman's look directed at you, a mixture of a silent scoff and a despised expression.

"Do you need a ride home, baby?", Lando asked once the meeting ended, "I have to go somewhere before going home, but thanks anyway", you said, kissing his lips chastely and bidding goodbye to everyone.

"Is she alright? She seemed off today", Max commented as he saw your interaction with his bestfriend, "this project had been taking a lot out of her, she's been tired, that's all", he said as he looked at your back as you walked away from them, "at least I hope it's that".

Only it really wasn't that, and with your calendar and Lando's calendar, you only saw eachother again on the day of the shoot.

The fight you had the day before still resonated with you and Lando, each of you measuring your words and how you had behaved.

"In Quadrant, you are my superior and I respect that", you pointed between you two, "but I'm my own person and if there's something I say, I want to be heard as me, Y/N, graphic designer for Quadrant", you cleared, "And in the meetings, if I give an idea, I want it to be heard and seen as coming from a graphic designer with experience and knowledge, not your girlfriend who you're afraid will get hurt if you say no and always let me get my way", you explained.

"But who said that I don't respect you like that? Because I do! I've considered every idea you've said like I'd consider them if somebody else said them!", Lando attempted, "do you think my love for you is not genuine? Do you think my appreciation for you or how much I value, as a person and as a member of the team, depends on what? What do you think this is?", Lando snapped, looking angrier than you've ever seen him. He usually kept a calm stance no matter how stressful the situation was, so the slight raise in his and his tone was enough to show he wasn't his usual self.

"Is it my fault you are my girlfriend? Are we putting this relationship, our relationship, in a basket of cons for us and for our lives?", he sounded genuinely hurt at his admission.

You didn't mean it that way, and you knew he knew that, but the fact that his mind went there and considered it enough for him to say it out loud hurt you.

Despite Tara's insistence that you could be one of the models for the hoodie she claimed was made for you, you declined the invitation, feeling that it would only add to your self deprecation and the very few comments you had seen online about how "dating Lando has landed you a great gig when so many people are looking for jobs themselves". You weren't also in the best terms with your boyfriend, and since he was modelling too, it would hardly be a good idea to be so close to eachother whilst still working in front of the team.

"We printed the backdrop you sent us, Y/N!", the photographer, James, and his colleague, Kai, called for you as you went to inspect the piece. It wasn't greatly detailed, but had certain points already measured so the editing and designing would be easier for you once you go the pictures back from them.

"I've never done it like this myself, but a friend of mine from university has done this before and he said it was so much easier and the models can move freely as long as they're within the frame", you explained, sharing knowledge in case they ever found themselves with a similar issue in need of this solution.

So absorbed in the conversation about different techniques and the words they had done before, you missed Lando arriving to the studio along with Max who had started making sure everything was running as scheduled.

"First, it's model two and three", you said as you looked at the schedule Max held, "so that's...", you trailed off, looking again in the list to make sure you were calling the right names, "Lucy and Lando", you stated, looking around for them and seeing the boy laugh at something she had said.

"Guys!", Max yelled, "it's your turn", he whistled, grabbing their attention so they could get in position.

James kept telling them what worked best as Kai worked with the lights, carefully readjusting and pointing out whenever they weren't on the frame you had specified.

"Now it's just the male models", Kai said as Lucy stepped down.

"I'm sorry to bother, but do you think we can bring out the snack table around now?", she questioned as she clipped her hair back, not wanting to mess with the work that was done on the short blonde locks, "I woke up later than I wanted and I had to rush here so I didn't have much for breakfast", she cringed.

"I think we can, yes. There's coffee in there, too, so I might join you", you smiled, walking alongside her to the table the catering team had set up. You were planning to spend the whole morning in there, so food and drinks were ordered to keep everyone happy and content.

"Rough night?", Lucy asked as she say you make a triple latte from the expresso machine.

That would be a way to put it, you thought. You hated leaving things unresolved with anyone, but knowing you and Lando went to sleep without knowing where you stood, it was hard for you to close your eyes and fall asleep despite the tiredness you felt. You rolled in your bed countless times, changing the pyjamas you were wearing three times until you accepted that the choice of clothing wasn't what was keeping you from falling asleep. In total, you probably slept four hours, and you were hoping the coffee would help with that.

"I remember when me and Lando used to go out, there was this week where it was four nights!", she smiled, stirring the hot tea in her cup as she took one of the small sandwiches.

"You and Lando used to go out? I didn't realise", you asked, the curiosity killing you and the dread to know the answer even more.

"I mean going out as in out of the house and into clubs, parties and such", she laughed brightly, and even that didn't seem to settle your heart, "we found out we have mutual friends that work for the same chain of clubs. We never slapped a label on it, I think neither of us wanted the attachment or rules you had to follow, you know? He's always wanted to be free on his endeavours and do as he pleases".

"Sure", you gulped, drinking the hot coffee as you thought about her words, not going to far, probably for your own good, since you heard something fall, "I better go see what that is, excuse me", you smiled lightly.

As it turned out, there was a piece of metal holding the backdrop that had a smaller piece holding it together that wasn't the right size, "we have to tools in there, let me just change it quickly", you said, "you guys can go and grab a coffee and some snacks, they're really good", you offered, "I'll sort out the programming for the next set while I'm at it, too".

Carrying the piece to the room where you kept the tools, you turned on your laptop and ran the code, fixing the metal piece in the mean time when you heard someone walk in the room, "was the coffee that bad? I- Oh, hi", you muttered, seeing Lando walk in and sit in front of you as you worked on the table.

"Can we talk, please?", Lando wondered. Even though he was clearly tired and his usual bright eyes had required the makeup artist to apply eye drops on him twice already, he still looked as handsome as ever. His curls was bouncy and the green coloured hoodie was a perfect match against his tanned skin and the minimal jewellery he had on.

"Sure", you asked, setting the screwdriver down and looking at him.

"I want to apoligise if I made you feel unworthy, professionally and personally. It was never my intention, Y/N. I want to be there for you, and I want to protect you and help make sure nothing bad happens, okay? I'd hate to be the reason you feel bad, baby.

"But I also need you to tell me what's wrong, because I know something is bothering you and I don't care who I have to call or what I have to do to help, but you need to tell me", he stated.

Your eyes started to feel tight and threatened to spill tears you were sure had been building up for more than a week, "I'm a confident woman, I know what I'm worth", you reasoned, "growing up left from what society thinks women should behave and look like, I've had to grow thick skin and be confident in what I do. It's not that you've had other partners or flings before, it's the way I'm being labelled as your girlfriend. Suddenly, I lost my name, my identity and I'm something to someone, that's what people see.

"I love you, and I love being with you. I've had so many opportunities that I wouldn't have had in other jobs and in other relationships, but I'm not sure losing who I am is a fair price to pay", you added. "I need to think this through. I'm not in the right state to argue this and risk saying something I don't mean and hurt you in the process. I don't want to hurt you, Lando, and I don't won't to be hurt either, I'm sorry", you sighed, looking into his colourful eyes.

"I love you, Y/N, so much", he said as he took a step forward, testing the waters and not getting resistance from you which led him to press his lips on your forehead, depositing a slow and soft kiss there, "I don't want to hurt you either, but... Think about it, okay? Really give it some thought because there's a way and we will find it", he attempted, realising it wasn't his place to tell you how you should feel about something and finding a common ground.

"Sorry to interrupt, guys, but we need your opinion on something, Y/N", Kai asked, sympathetically smiling as you excused yourself from the room and back to the studio area.

Lando went outside to cool off a little, thinking about your discussion and taking the opportunity that he wasn't needed inside for a while.

Had he been a pushover? Was that how you felt? You hadn't been yourself in the past two weeks, but he had put it down to the fact that you had been to the race with him and then Quadrant had this project that you wanted to see through from begging to end and it was on a tight schedule. You wouldn't be persuaded to take it easy, so Lando did his best to make sure you were as well as possible, but he seemed to have failed.

"I don't know how long it will be before they notice I'm gone and need help, so I'm advising you to spit it out while you can", Max jumped in, sitting on the floor and against the wall next to him.

"Just tired, didn't sleep well", Lando muttered. He didn't sleep at all, truth be told, images of your shattered expression kept replaying in his head as he tried to figure out what was happening to you two.

"I suggest you tell me the truth", Max squinted, "so, try again".

"Y/N and I have hit a rough patch? Our first big fight? I'm not sure", he admitted, "she isn't telling me much, but I think it's about the fact that she works for Quadrant, as in the company I, her boyfriend, own and something about treating her like and employee and not my girlfriend", Lando let out, starting to get worked up, "she tells me this, and I've kept my distance, and that's not been good either. Didn't she say that I should treat her like the employee she is?", Lando snapped as his body language showed another set of emotions.

"She is an employee, yes, and she deserves to be treated as such. But she's also the person you come home to, she was someone before she met you, she is a person outside of your relationship and you shouldn't meddle things. You know that dating you isn't easy and she's been getting the backhand of it", Max reasoned as Lando listened intently, "the social media team have been taking care of it, but there have been comments that are less than kind about her on Instagram, the email marketing too...! It's shitty, less than reasonable accusations, but it has been there... Y/N has never liked to be discredited, and I'm not saying you do it per se, but maybe it's where you should go first", he tapped his friend's back.

"She's not letting me in, how am I supposed to know?!", Lando got antsy again, feet tapping the ground incessantly as his breath got quicker and shallower as he struggled to focus a little.

"Is this rage you feel? Anger?", Max checked, handing Lando the ice-cold water bottle so he could focus on the temperature and not spiral out, "you're good, mate? What do you feel?".

"It's fear that I might lose her", Lando said as he allowed himself to cry, "I'm afraid of losing her because of something I did to her unintentionally. Because being my girlfriend is bad for her and I can't be selfish and tell her to be with me when she's suffering. Because I can't help that I'm proud of her and I won't to belt out how proud I am of her work and that I have her?", he let it all out.

"Have you thought about how it feels for her, though? Even for you, there are comments left and right about how you got to where you are, so imagine how it is for her", Max thought out loud, letting it all sink in.

By the time they came back to the studio, the models were gone and, by the looks of it, so were you as they tidied the place.

"Lando, Max", James called, "we're just finishing up and then we'll also get going. Y/N had to leave, she said something about her mother calling her and she needed to go. Didn't look life threateningly urgent, but she had to get going. Also- Lucy, I think her name was -, she left her number here for you", the photographer said, "she asked me to make sure I handed it to you", he smiled, "do you need mine too? I'm assuming it's for the contract payments?".

"Yes, there was a mishap with her contract, but we checked and yours are still there, no worries with that", Lando lied, impressed at his ability to come up with a half decent excuse.

Walking up to his car, Lando threw the card James gave him in one of the bins outside before getting in with Max, "let me just send this text, one minute".

To lovie ✨️

I'll give you all of the time that you need, but I'm not leaving this, I'm not leaving us. You're the love of my life and I'll wait as long as you need me to, so whenever you want to talk, I'm here, baby.

I love you to the moon and the stars 🤍

"I'll be damned if lose her, Max", Lando admitted, resting his elbows on the steering wheel and supporting his head on his hands.

"You two were made for eachother, Lando. You'll figure it out", his best friend comforted.

As he was reversing out of the parking space, his phone beeped with a notification.

From lovie ✨️

Thank you for letting me do that, I appreciate it more than words can say.

I love you to the planets and around the Milky Way.

For now, it brought a smile to his face, and a little hope. And he would hold on to that little hope.

Part 2

#lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x you #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic

[thatwildnya]

venti when griffin wifey disappears to nest

The anemo archon is freaking out after his wife has suddenly vanished without a trace. After hours of searching with the help of the Favonius Knights and Diluc he discovers she has made a nest in Dvalin's home to lay a clutch of eggs.

TW: none

notes: the format this is written in what we've named a headcanon drabble mix. it will start with hcs and have a drabble at the end or multiple sprinkled throughout it. these will be tagged as headcanon drabble mix, hc drabble mix, or [fandom]hcdm.

chitters and nickers

Wild: I've started playing genshin recently and it's been on my mind a lot. Decided to write somethin' on a whim. Might make more with the same prompt if this one gets a lot of attention.

nya: i wanna squish venti's cheeks

wifey's bird cat mix

european wildcat, white dove, 7 eggs

very likely this was not planned, Venti’s alcoholic tendencies often cause him to forget protection so it was only a matter of time it caught up to him

unexpected pregnancies with female griffins can be absolutely heart attack inducing due to their instincts kicking in immediately once their body realizes what’s happening. bird brains go into maximum overdrive and once it decides where it wants to nest they’re making a beeline to claim said spot and going builder mode asap.

so imagine the archon’s panic when you’re nowhere to be found after being sick and acting weird all week. poor guy is zooming all over the city alongside the knights and Diluc to find you. once he’s combed through the city he uses his godly powers to call for Dvalin’s assistance. but there’s no answer.

Equation: wifey acting odd + wifey missing + dragon friend not responding. Conclusion: something very bad happened. Solution: it is time for panic at the anemo.

shouts at some random pedestrian passing by to gather the knights and meet him at the lair. unfortunately he mistook the stranger as a knight them self due to wearing similar clothes. and on top of that this person was a foreigner. but he’s gone before the misunderstanding can be cleared. now hubby is thought to be missing. what an eventful day for Mondstadt.

creates a crater when he lands outside his friends home. said friend sticks his head out from the crumbling tower with blurry eyes. what was all this racket for? this is the second time he’s been so rudely awoken today! bro already lost hours of sleep from his wife barging in at 1AM to nest and lay eggs. wifey did what now.

the dragon’s grumpiness dissolves once the situation has been cleared. in fact he was laughing in the end. the image of a large number of humans scurrying around in search of a god’s wife thinking the worst when in actuality she’s enjoying baby time in arguably the safest place in the nation is hilarious!

but that’s not important right now you laid eggies sired by him he’s gonna be a dad! this twink of a god can’t contain his excitement. how many did you lay? when will they hatch? how big are they? have they developed enough to be able to hear his voice? can he hold them? too bad you can’t answer, doves can’t mimic sounds and you aren’t reverting back to human for a while.

has no problem with you nesting in Dvalin’s home. in fact he’s all for it. very few humans and monsters dare to intrude on the territory of the anemo dragon once called Storm Terror. no worries here! so long you had no issues he’d stand by your decision! y’know what they say, a mother knows best!

you are never left alone Venti makes sure there’s always one person he trusts to watch over you and your growing kids. if he could he’d be right there in the nest with his family 24/7. the issue is, however, that you’re the breadwinner of the family. and griffin moms to be won’t leave the eggs alone until they’ve hatched. not for food, water, nothing. avian feline mom’s have wills of steel.

it isn’t long before Venti realizes the problem. kids are not cheap to raise. (especially in this economy) so for the first time in history, the anemo archon begins the treacherous and traumatizing journey of job hunting. it was a grueling quest, one of hardships and difficulty like no other. his confidence and ego took many serious blows, wounds inflicted upon them so deep it was feared he might never recover. there were plenty of times he almost gave up, but he persevered! his family was counting on him, he couldn’t give up. and with the power of love and friendship, he was able to slay- jk he just became a part time knight and takes on quick jobs spread across his nation.

this is quite the change to his usual routine but it’s all worth it. every time he returns to his recently grown family is all the motivation he needs. can’t wait for the day he’ll be greeted by a chorus of chirps after a long day of work.

when he isn’t working he’s always near the nest, if he isn’t in it. and more likely than not he’s by a fire cooking up something for you to eat. he’s glad you’ll eat if food is in reach. man’s on his way to becoming a 5 star chef with how much he’s expanding his culinary skills.

when is baby time? it’s always baby time in this house. and everyone is invited to baby time. can’t help but squeal internally whenever you get excited at visitors. leaving the nest just to gently tug them over so they could see the eggs will always be the cutest thing you’ll do to him. how can he not smile when your feathered face shines with pride everytime you present his kids?

finally, the day comes. he’s in the middle of aiding Diluc unload supplies for Angel’s Share when the Mondstadt citizens are given a heart attack by Dvalin suddenly swooping overhead shouting for him to get his butt back to you. get ready folks, it’s time for round 2 of panic at the anemo!

adding a new crater in Dvalin's lawn he runs to your side with heaving lungs all winded and worried. but you seem completely fine? and so do the babies, albeit two are shivering from the chillness of the ruins and being wet having just hatched… wait a minute-

Did you really have to disappear like that? Especially since you’ve been acting strange the past week?

Your side of the bed was cold when he woke up and he thought you had already left for work. The day goes on as normal, some bard performances here, archon duties there, wine shenanigans, nothing out of the ordinary. Until your boss shows up demanding to know where you are just as he was about to take a post lunch nap.

Okay, there’s no need to panic yet. Maybe your boss forgot you weren’t supposed to be in today? Nope, it’s the middle of the week. Maybe you were late getting back from lunch? What do you mean you haven’t been in all day. Were you scheduled to work offsite? No? Okay, now it's time to panic.

He’s fearing the worst as he and the others search for you. His true identity may be a secret to most but that unfortunately wasn’t true for a certain large powerful group that had already stolen from him twice. He hopes this isn’t their doing.

Thankfully the search doesn’t last long. Once the city has been combed through he flies off to get help from Dvalin. His friend can’t help but laugh when told what was going on. That’s when it’s revealed you’ve been in his lair the whole time.

Just as the dragon said, you’ve taken residence in his lair. Showing up in the middle of the night without warning to build a nest. So that’s where all the missing clothes, blankets, and pillows went. Used as cushions for the nest you’ve built in the middle of the night. The nest, might I add, looks very comfortable. You’re loafing self emits a blissful aura, wings drooping lazily at your side and talons tucked under your chest.

Doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Opts for a third option to beeline to you for a hug. But there will be no hugs for him. Dvalin manages to grab him before he can take a few steps.

“I would advise against this approach, Barbatos.” the anemo dragon warns while the archon flails in his talons whining, “less you desire a delay in meeting your offspring.”

The bard freezes at his words. Offspring? Does he mean you were…?

Venti is plopped down a few steps away from you, this time waiting for your acknowledgement before coming close. You are more than happy to have him there. Thank you Dvalin for intercepting, you’d be on guard if you’d seen your husband suddenly running full speed at you.

You raise your wings slightly, doing mini flaps as you call out to him in your beautiful avian voice with enthusiasm. You are practically vibrating in excitement as your mate comes to join you in your nest made of natural and man made materials. The same could be said for him.

“Lemme see, lemme see, lemme see!” Venti claps impatiently, ready to see the incubating life underneath your feathers. His eyes somehow manage to get even wider as you sit up. You puff up your chest feathers, head raised high with pride as you reveal the seven eggs you’d laid hours ago.

Venti’s eyes are sparkling with happy tears. Head in hands as he leans forward on his elbows, he studies his growing babies in awe. It pleased him to no end that the shells were decorated in the colors of anemo. If that didn’t scream who sired these eggs then he didn’t know what would.

Hand slightly reaching out, he had intended to wait for the okay like before. But you were offended he had the audacity to think he had to get permission to touch what he had helped to create. And you were going to make your feelings very clear.

Without warning you lunge forward. Small beak clamping on his shirt to jerk him over the edge. The bard lets out a startled yelp, face planting into your wing. Despite being a combination of smaller species of the feline and avian family, you were still quite strong.

“Ow ow ow, was that really necessary love dove?” He rubs his nose. Beak snaps are your reply, pouting at him to hurry up. Your impatience was so great he was denied the option to shake out his hat of feathers and twigs, getting robbed of his head wear. Okay he gets the memo sheesh!

The remainder of the evening is spent snuggled in that nest. Songs of humans and birds are heard late into the night, the voice of a dragon chiming in at times. Peace befalls the land of anemo.

Until it’s shattered by a frantic legion of knights still searching for their god and his wife hours later.

~ time skip yay ~

Venti sobs, clutching his bundle of joy to his chest. It had been nearly half an hour since his firstborn had entered the world yet somehow the tears kept flowing. No matter how hard he tried, the tears wouldn’t halt. But could you really blame him?

“You’re going to hyperventilate at this rate. It’s a wonder you haven’t already.”

“I-I-I *sniffle* can’t h-hel- *sob* help i-it!” he hugs his firstborn closer, blurry gaze never leaving his child’s face. “Sh-she-she’s *hiccup* s-so beau- *sniffle* beautiful!” the dragon rolled his eyes. How much longer did he have to listen to his crying?

“Get a hold of yourself. Your hatchlings won’t benefit if both parents are unable to assist due to being unconscious.”

Venti gives a final sniffle before tilting his head up in an attempt to stop the tears. He blinks rapidly, steadying his breath. A quick wipe of the sleeve and it’s back to staring.

He wanted to see every little thing she did. His perfect little feathered treasure.

The hatchling had somehow managed to sleep through his whole cry fest. Cozily wrapped in a quilt and blissfully resting from her first big hurdle. Not even a day old and she had already passed the most important milestone of her life, breaking the shell that had protected her as she grew.

He quickly wiped his eyes again. He’d cried enough today.

Suddenly she yawned, beak opening wide and talons outstretching. Eyes blinking open, she looks up at her father’s puffy face. Venti smiles warmly at her, his own eyes giving her loving slow blinks. His daughter returns the gesture.

She begins to wiggle in his hold, talons reaching to grab his shirt in an attempt to pull herself closer to his face. To save his daughter the trouble he lifts her closer. He chuckles as he nuzzles her face hearing her curious sniffs.

“Hello, little one,” he whispers quietly, planting a kiss on her forehead, “the winds welcome you into the world.”

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin hcs #genshin drabbles #wild’s writing #wild's genshin writing #genshin venti #genshin impact venti #genshin impact venti x reader #venti genshin impact #venti genshin impact x reader #venti x reader #venti x y/n #venti x you #venti headcanons #venti hcs #venti x reader drabble #venti x reader hcs #genshin impact x reader #genshin mondstadt #dvalin #genshin headcanon drabble mix #panic at the anemo #genshin x f!reader

[tessiex17]

MY CHILDREN I HAVE PROVIDED YOU WITH ANOTHER RAYMAN FIC

You will be happy to hear that this is a 2 parter (second part is in development) since this is infact already 2,147 words WHICH IS KINDA LONG FOR ONE CHAPTER

This does have a fem reader BTW!!!

Short description: set when rayman is attending collage in America before he became famous and he gets invited to a party where he meets y/n

(Also if there are any mistakes/errors in my spelling PLZ let me know as written helps me improve with my dyslexia so any feedback will be amazing 😋)

Tw: alot of swearing, smoking and alcohol, abusive behaviour

"What am I doing?"

Rayman muttered to himself regretfully as he walked down the cold grid iron streets to the address the party was supposedly located. Rayman has always been a social creature, he loved the idea of meeting new people and going on adventures with them but that mindset had been slowly chipped away during his time in America. Specifically American school. He struggled to make social connections in his classes and was quickly deemed an outcast by his peers which was heart breaking for Rayman because he know it was only because he was alien, the people that liked to make fun of him made that fact pretty clear. It was something he couldn't change and even though he didn't choose to look the way he does or be where he's from he still got hate for it and he never really understood why.

Which is why he was shocked when he was invited to a house party by one of his class mates. He just knew he couldnt miss this opportunity to finally mend his social status and make a friend! Which leads him here. Walking towards the door of a house he's never been at before. He let's out a Sigh before raising his fist and firmly knocking the door. He knew he was at the right place, the sound of music and enthusiastic people could be heard quite clearly through the door (it made him almost feel bad for the neighbours).

Before rayman had the chance to knock once more the door swung open revealing the very drunk but very happy class mate that invited Rayman in the first place

"BROOO! You made it! I thought you where gonna be a no show"

The class mate ushered rayman in shutting the door behind him.

"Hehe what can I say, im a man of my word"

Rayman chuckled slightly nervous but intertained by how friendly his class mate was being. He finally takes a look around the house to see that this party was a lot bigger than he thought. There was at least 10 people in each room. Some where in groups chatting away to eachother, some where playing drinking games and others where dancing. A small smile started to grow on raymans face. Everyone seemed to be having fun so it shouldn't be so hard for him to join in right?

"If you wanting a drink feel free to grab whatever you want in the kitchen!"

The drunk class mate spoke a lil more slurred but still sounding enthusiastic. Rayman just gave him a smile and a small thanks before watching him stumble back to a group of people he must have been previously chatting with. 'Now what?' Rayman asked himself as he looked around anxiety curling in his gut like a snake. Does he just go up and chat to someone? He decides before doing anything he should take his coat off which he then hung up on the pegs by the door. He walks further into the house seeing people having fun. ' they make it look so easy' he thought to himself sullenly but a small creature in the corner of his vision distracts him from his thoughts.

"A cat!"

Rayman says aloud to himself before following the cute Calico cat into the kitchen. He doest pay much mind to the people as they seem to be talking amongst themselves. He crouches down In front of the cat petting it gently

"Arnt you just a sweetheart~"

He cous while scratching behind the cats ear. He spots a purple collar and a little silver name tag around the cats neck reaching for it to find out what the cats called. He flips the little silver tag and reads it

"Well hello kaya, aret you a cutie~"

Kaya looks at him Acknowledging he is speaking to her. She let's out a high pitch soft meow that makes rayman chuckle. He always loved animals.

"Of course your making friends with the animals considering you practically are one"

A voice filled with poison and Sadistic Humor spoke from behind him. He looked away from the cat and up to the owner of the voice. It was a guy in a very generic outfit and a blue hat.

"Excuse me?"

He spoke confuse hoping maybe the guy was meaning it as some sort of distasteful joke? Oh lord how he hoped.

"Who the fuck invited this thing to the party!"

Blue hat guy shouted loudly while pointing at rayman looking around the room as he did so. A few people began to giggle and rayman could feel all hope for having a fun night disappear.

"I'm not a 'thing' dipshit!"

Rayman retorted embarrassment making his face feel hot.

"Well what are you then huh?"

He leaned in close to raymans face. There was a short moment of silence before he continued

"Because all I can see is some sort of alien freak!"

The smell of alcohol was reaking from his breath. Rayman didn't like how close he was. How angry he was getting the more he talked. He opened his mouth to speak.

"I-"

"What the fuck is your problem!"

An angry feminine voice spoke causing both rayman and the drunk guy to turn and face her. She stormed towards the both of them before pushing the drunk guy away from rayman.

"You asshole!, what gives you the right to speak to anyone like that!"

Oh lord was this girl mad. Rayman looked up at her in disbelief as she shouted at the guy who was previously insulting him. Was she defending him? She stood tall in front of rayman making sure she was blocking him out of the drunk guys line of site.

"Hes a fucking freak just look at him!"

The drunk guy slurred his words trying to justify his point but the scowl on the girls face just grew deeper.

"Your fucking disgusting"

She spoke lowly to him

"Thinking you have the right to speak to somone like that, do you think your better than him because he's not from here or something?"

She asked with genuine confusion In her voice

"Is that why? Do you feel more entitled than him because he looks different from you?, because if that's the case then that sound pretty fucking racist if you ask me"

She quirks her brow as if asking a question. He stays silent but his anger is clear on his face

"Men like you disgust me"

She spoke her words laced with anger before she turned around and faced rayman. She jerked her head to the side indicating towards the door

"Let's go"

She said kindly to Rayman who looked up at her like she was some sort of godess that saved him. He nodded quickly before grabbing his jacket and following her outside.

"Well that was a shit show"

He muttered to himself while following after her. She made her way to the sidewalk before taking a seat on the edge of it. She looked over to rayman and patted the place next to her offering him to sit down which he does. The air is chillie enough to see your breath as a moment of silence fell apon them. She pulled a packet of cigarettes out her pocket before offering one to him which he decides to take.

"Thank you..."

Rayman spoke timidly.

"Not just for the cigarette obviously but for everything that went on in there"

That got a little giggle out of her. She brought the cigarette up to her lips taking a long inhale of it.

"It's okay, that guys was being a prick"

She faced rayman with a slightly sullen expression.

" I'm y/n, I don't think I got your name?"

"It's rayman... thank you y/n"

She chuckled again a small smile growing on her face.

"You've already thanked me"

She spoke sweetly

"besides I couldn't just stand and watch. That guy was being cruel for literally no reason"

"People stand and watch all the time"

Rayman spoke sadly but honestly his eyes avoiding hers

"Your the first person who hasn't..."

He looked back up at her to see her intently watching him. There was something behind her eyes he couldn't quite place. Anger?, sadness?, he wasn't sure but he just knew that the feelings weren't directed at him.

"Don't say that man, your gonna make me cry"

She joked half heartdly the sound of her voice wavering was clear.

"Oh nonono!, im so sorry!"

Rayman spoke in a panic

"I wasn't trying to upset you-"

"No no, don't worry!"

She placed a finger over his lips in order to get him to stop talking. He's silent. Pleading eyes staring up to gentle one's as she moves her hand away from his mouth.

"It just makes me upset that nobody was willing to help you before. Don't feel like you need to sensor yourself for my benefit"

She spoke softly to him. Rayman was starting to feel like he didn't have to be so much on edge now that it was just them two alone which was new for him. Usually he had to be more alert if hes gonna be by himself with somone. Even thought he didn't know y/n that much he still felt safer alone with her than back in the house. She took a deep drag from her cigarette and so did he.

They sat there together for a while. Talking and laughing between cigarettes and alcohol. Y/n decided to share a good few bottles of her own alcohol with rayman. It wasn't the nicest of drink but it was good enough and strong too. It didn't take long for the both of them to be intoxicated. They where sitting closer together now the alcohol making them loose the concept of personal space as they chatted.

"Hey this place blows, why don't we go back to my place?"

Y/n suggested as she took another swig out her bottle

"We have been sitting outside getting drunk ourselves, would be warmer at yours too"

Rayman spoke semi to himself as he pondered on the idea

"Kmonnnn~"

Y/n whined as she grabbed one of raymans shoulders and shook him playful chanting "My house! My house!" Over and over while laughing

"Okay okay!"

Rayman laughed placing his hand ontop of the one y/n placed on his shoulder in hopes it would get her to stop shacking him

"It is better than staying outside the party we kinda just walked out on"

He chuckled as he stood up reaching a hand out for y/n to help her up. She takes it as rayman pulls her up onto her feet. Y/n thanks him before giving herself a big stretch followed by a pleased groan

"Ahh~ Alright!, let's go!"

She glanced over the floor making sure she didn't leave anything behind before looking at rayman a smile spreading across her face.

"We're actually not that far from my house probably like a 10-15 minute walk roughly"

She tilts her head a little to see if raymans okay with that. He gives her a smile and a goofy thumbs up.

"All good, lead the way!"

He smiled enthusiastically. Y/n just laughs before turning around and walking down the street. She checks over her shoulder to see if rayman is following and motions with her hand for him to catch up. Rayman jogs up next to her before sticking to a walking pace. He doesn't know if it's the alcohol or not but he's having more fun tonight than he has in a while but whatever it is he doesn't want this good feeling to go away. Then suddenly y/n gasps

"Oh my god! I just released somthing"

Y/n spoke in a shocked voice

"What is it?"

Rayman look up to her worried as they walked.

"I can order McDonald's!"

Rayman playful hits her shoulder while chuckling

"You bitch, I though you where gonna say something serious"

"I am serious!"

They both laughed as they walked

"Somthing to eat does sound good though"

Rayman agreed and nodded with this idea they began cooking up

"I just want food"

Y/n whined as she walked down the street and before they knew it they where at her house.

"Home~ glorious home~"

Y/n sung aloud to herself while approaching the door making rayman chuckled in amusement. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her key sticking it into the door and opening it. She stood to the side of the door before doing a little bow while gesturing rayman to enter

"Ladies first?"

She teased as rayman walked by rolling his eyes but the smirk on his face was hard to hide. She chuckled at his lack of a reaction before closing the door behind them

End of chapter 1

So what did u guys thinkkkkk 😋😋

I gave the reader and rayman a silly lil dynamic bc I love bammy interactions I think it's so funny so I made them bams

If you have any feedback LMK and i wanna hear ur opinions of if it should stay platonic between rayman and the reader or should I make it more romantic 🤭

THANK U FOR READING IF U MADE IT THIS FAR XOXO

#rayman #captain laserhawk #clhabdr #rayman fandom #rayman fanfic #clh au #clh rayman #fan fiction #rayman x reader #x reader

[next-autopsy]

A/N: Well, hi there! Tipsy Birdie gets kinda philosophical, ponders life and such. I had so much fun writing this chapter so I hope y’all like it!

Lmk what you think x

Based on the actors portrayal/hbo show and written with no disrespect to the real life veterans. Also all images found on Pinterest.

TW: slight drunk behaviour, smoking..... i think thats it?

Tags: @malarkgirlypop, @panzershrike-pretz

Made of Glass

Chapter fifteen: Scorpion   

Stepping outside into the night air made goosebumps appear on Birdie’s skin. She quickly pulled her jacket onto her shoulders but didn’t push her arms into the sleeves, letting it hang down her back instead.  

As she began to walk, the woman checked her pockets but quickly realised she must’ve forgotten her pack of smokes behind. A vague memory of her handing over the cartoon to Toye and not getting them back played in her mind.   

She wondered if she should go back inside and wrestle them off her best friend, but he’d probably smoked them all already. She seriously doubted Toye would have saved even one cigarette so going back would be pointless. Besides, the fresh air was helping sober her up and she felt better for it.   

An idea tingled in the back of her mind, it felt like she was forgetting something, but she couldn’t for the life of her figure it out. Birdie shrugged off the niggling thought and stepped in the direction of her barracks. She was barely out of view of the celebration when she heard a voice.   

A voice that spoke to her. “Coldwell.”   

A voice that she was hoping not to hear tonight but had been plaguing her thoughts for weeks.  

The last time she had really talked to Joseph Liebgott had been one of the most uncomfortable nights of her life and she had done some pretty embarrassing things in her teen years, so that says a lot.   

“Lieb-” Her attempt at addressing him was thwarted by her own body, she had twisted around to look at him and her ankles gave way. Her body dipped forward and collided with the dirt ground beneath her.  

 ‘Smooth.’ She told herself. She just laid there, face down and hoped he would go away but her dreams were smashed when his shiny boots came into view. Birdie’s head panned upward; Liebgott was smirking at her. Of course, he was.   

“Have a good trip?”

God, she wanted to smack him, that stupid smirk he always had plastered on was particularly annoying tonight. Maybe it was the alcohol, but she began imagining ways to maim the man standing over her.  

“Geez, you hit your head or something?” Liebgott spoke up again and it was then that Birdie saw that extended hand, offered to her for who knows how long. She scoffed and slapped it away, pushing herself up and standing on her own.   

Which was a mistake as the sudden height change made her dizzy and she swayed on the spot, her arms instinctively flew out to balance herself and Joe grabbed onto her flailing limbs.   

“Woah-” The man had begun but Bernadette, filled with liquid courage interrupted him, “What do you want?” She rolled her eyes and tugged her arms away from him as if he had just insulted her mother and spit at her feet.

Joseph seemed to register her standoffish attitude and took a step back, hands raised in mock surrender.  

“I just thought you might want a smoke, that’s all.” Had he been watching her? Or reading her thoughts? Could he do that? Suddenly Birdie felt self-conscious, and her mind overflowed with every embarrassing thing she’d ever done which, in turn, caused her cheeks to flush and her vision dropped to the floor.  

“So.... did you want one?” He held out his pack for her. She was acting weird, and he couldn’t help but remember their last evening like this. He had walked around, taking the longer route back to his barracks that night so he could calm his rapid heartbeat and allow the pink tint to fade off his cheeks. He told himself it was because of the awkward energy between them, nothing more. Although, since that night he caught himself glancing over at her every time her face popped into his mind (which lately was an abnormal amount).  

He watched as Bernadette plucked a cigarette from him and placed it between her lips. She leaned closer to him, waiting for him to pull out his lighter and flick it on. He did just that, eyes fixated on her the entire time. The orange glow of the flame illuminated her face, showing him every tiny detail up close.   

“Thanks.” She told him, pulling away and breaking his trance. Bernadette hadn't noticed his intense gaze, instead her focus was on the night sky above them. She wanted to count every shining star and burn it into her memory. She took a minute to admire the night sky while she finished off the cigarette.

“You find anything up there?”  

“Mhm...” Birdie hummed dreamily, stargazing was always her favourite pastime, “Orion's belt... it’s my favourite constellation.” Her father would take her and her siblings out into the night, sometimes to check on their horses, sometimes just for fun but every time without fail he would point out a new star or cluster and tell them stories about the twinkling pictures high above them.  

“Where?” Joe asked her, surprising the woman. Birdie looked at him for a moment to gauge whether he was making fun of her. His eyes were searching upwards as if the belt would have an arrow pointing straight at it that he somehow missed. She deemed him sincere enough and pointed to the three stars that lined up and created the belt of Orion.  

“Riiight.... there. You see it?”  

“Uh... no?” Honestly, she could have been pointing anywhere, it all looked the same to him. He tried to inspect the general direction she had her hand aimed towards but nothing over there looked like a belt. Maybe it was metaphorical?  

And then he felt warm.

Bernadette had pushed her body right up against him, her face was touching his- cheek to cheek. She was impossibly close, and Joe could only focus on her arm that wrapped around him and pulled him closer or her torso that melted into his. He felt her soft breasts molding to the shape of his arm and had to reign in his thoughts.

Joe stared straight ahead, ignoring the physical touch between them. She was still pointing but this time he could actually see what she was pointing at.

“Look... see that?” Considering how -not far- apart they were, she whispered it. His eyes followed the extended index finger and at the end were three stars… was that it?  

“Mhm.” He was pretty sure they were looking at the same thing, maybe he would have asked her, but his voice was stuck in his throat.  

“That’s Orion’s belt.” She was still whispering, “And that’s his head.” Her hand aimed up slightly, “He’s got one arm up and he has a sword...”  

“A sword?” Finally, he spoke. Then instantly cringed at the sound of his own voice, it came out rough and gravelly like he hadn’t cleared his throat in years. Joe turned his neck so he could look at Birdie, the light of the stars shimmered in her eyes, and he was mesmerized.  

Bernadette felt him staring and adjusted her head, their eyes met and for a split second she recognised something. It was warm and familiar, something she wanted, yearned for, but as quickly as it came it was gone and Birdie found herself having the first coherent thought of the night: step away.  

“Yeah. And a shield.” She moved backwards from him, speaking in her normal tone now. Liebgott found himself missing the warmth and hoping she would come back and point more stars out to him, but she didn’t. Joe mentally shook that thought from his head. 

“So, he’s a warrior.” Joe deducted; he didn’t want to stew in the awkward silence like last time, so he willed himself to keep talking.   

“A hunter.” She corrected, “He bragged that he could kill any animal. And then one day a tiny scorpion snuck up on him and stung him.” Birdie was back to watching the night sky, “And he died.”  

“Jesus, that’s depressing.” 

“Why?” Her amber eyes jerked to his, curious for an answer. Bernadette’s father had explained his take of the meaning behind the tales that were passed down from generation to generation. Orion’s was about hubris and the importance of humility, even the greatest can fall. She had always imagined herself as the little scorpion, taking down giants.  

“A mighty hunter brought down by some little sting? How sad.” Liebgott voiced, deep in thought. The stars had captured his attention, he wanted to talk about them with her forever. Because the tales were so intriguing. That’s all.  

“I don’t think so...” She prompted, genuinely interested in his thought process. Birdie had never imagined Joe to be this... soft? Thoughtful? Whatever side of him he was showing to her, she decided she liked. This was a version of Joe she could be friends with, she wanted to be friends with.  

“Yeah?” He pulled his gaze from the starry darkness and focused on her. He too was curious to hear her take on it, a silly story about some guy dying had Joe fascinated.  

“It’s a cautionary tale. About pride and not letting it overtake you. No matter how great you are.”  

“Well from the scorpion's perspective, it’s about conquering your fears; no matter how big they are...”  Joe mused.

“Huh...” Maybe he actually could read minds? Bernadette smiled; her head tilted to one side as she pondered the complex man in front of her.  

“What?” He had no idea how thought-provoking he was, which only captivated her further.  

“You are.... not what I thought you were...” She murmured under her breath, so quiet he almost didn’t hear her, “You got a brain in there.” Birdie spoke louder, shaking her distractive thoughts and brushing off the weird connective feeling she was sure she was imagining. 

“Oh, Har. Har.” He too snapped out of the daze, ignoring the swoop of his stomach, “You doubted my intelligence? Come on Birdie, I’m the smartest man in the company!” Joe exaggerated, laughter in his tone, he starting walking and she fell in step with him, leading the way to her barracks.  

“You called me Birdie.”  

“What?” Of course, he had, that was her name.  

“You never call me Birdie... Always Coldwell.” The woman explained, noticing his quirked eyebrow, “Or woman, loser, annoying.... but never Birdie.” Said with a smile, tossing around the names in a joking manner.  

“What? Yes, I have.” His eyes rolled, she was being vexing on purpose, trying to wind him up but not out of anger or malice like usual. This was different, friendly. And he found himself enjoying this side of her.  

“When?” She queried. 

“Uh...well...” He scratched his head, thinking. He usually did call her Coldwell, but surely, he’d said Birdie at least once? 

“See! You can’t think of one time-” 

“That day...” He broke off her thought, “When those guys cornered you.” The southerner became silent, listening to his recount. “I was asking if you were okay, I said Birdie. You yelled at me and told me to ‘fuck off’ so I didn’t try to call you Birdie again.” 

“Oh... right.” Suddenly feeling sheepish, “About that, I-” 

“Don’t. I was a dick, don’t apologize.” Joe chuckled though there was no humour in his tone, he was serious. He felt like her should be the one apologizing to her, his comment was unnecessary, and she had every right to be pissed at him for it. 

“Yeah, you were a dick... but I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” She also laughed, if neither of them said the word 'sorry', it cancelled everything out and they were even. But she did want him to know she regretted it, just like he had let her know. 

The barracks came into view and the pair slowed down. Unlike last time when they were both trying to get away, this time neither wanted to leave.  

Birdie briefly wondered if he would go back to calling her names the next time they saw each other or if this meant that they were friends now. 

A/N: Aww! Aren’t they the sweetest? Are they friends now? Or will they fall back into their rivalry?

Btw the story of Orion is just what my dad used to tell me when I was a kid… idk if it’s very accurate

~ next-autopsy ~

Chapter sixteen

#band of brothers #easy company #hbo war #joe liebgott #made of glass #band of brothers fanfic #fem oc #oc #made of glass chapter fifteen #next autopsy

[lovewheeler]

— dear diary...: four.

back to the beginning (masterlist) / three. / five.

tw for some mentions of internalized homophobia and homophobia in general (unfortunately this is the 80's)

♥*♡∞:｡.｡ to maxine mayfield,

i haven't written one of these in...years. since i was fourteen, actually. haven't felt the need to. whatever.

i think you made me realize i like girls.

i hate this. i hate it, i hate it, the way i like you. i shouldn't. but my hands get clammy around you and my mouth gets dry. i feel like i'm always trying to impress you, to make you like me. and you do like me, but i'm trying to get you to like me in a way i don't think either of us are prepared to deal with.

last night you talked to me about how you like girls. how you're afraid because of what people would say. "you see how they talk to will", you said, "you see how they push him around". you said you don't want to hurt lucas because yeah, you like girls, but you like boys, too, and you really like him, but you're scared that you might never get to explore every part of yourself. i sat there and held you and cried with you because i didn't know how to articulate that i understand. completely.

you guys all stopped by my house today and asked my mom why i wasn't at mike's for our newest campaign. i saw mike's impala in the driveway. i told her to tell you that i was sick, but it was really that i couldn't bring myself to come out to face any of you. especially you. these feelings feel wrong, like i shouldn't be having them. i don't think i should. but you're everything i like, everything i want, wrapped up in the most pretty, soft package. it's hell. i feel like i'm in hell.

all day i've been in bed, staring at the ceiling and rethinking every single interaction we've ever had. how maybe it wasn't all friendly, because friends don't look at each other like that, do they? they don't get so close they might kiss and then decide that they need to go home for the night. they don't snuggle and talk about how everything feels so much better with each other than it does with anyone else. now i'm wondering if my crush on lucas was misplaced.

i've been unpacking a lot. you know i hate acknowledging my feelings. you know everything about me, i know you do, and that's what makes this so fucking hard. i need to erase this, all of these stupid feelings, because i know the second you see me you'll grab my hand in yours and ask if i'm okay. it's the fucking worst and i love it so much. you and your stupid, stupid, stupid perfect self. i wish i'd never met you in middle school.

i don't mean that.

it's just -- like i yearn for you. for the life we could have if we were in san francisco or something. we could run off like we always talk about, and have a dog. maybe some cats. i sound like a goddamn idiot.

you're my biggest what if, i think. if we were born twenty years into the future maybe i'd feel better about this. maybe i wouldn't feel like my heart is being ripped out everytime it skips a beat at the thought of you. i feel like i'm on fire, all the time, because you're the one thing i want in this stupid hellish town and i can't fucking have you. you know i've never been good with that.

you're my best friend. and i guess i just need to be happy with what i can get.

i love you, my maxie. so much more than i ever wanted to.

a/n: ah, yes. baby's first heartbreak. a whirlwind of gay feelings. i may have cried a bit writing this. lesbian tears

✧･ﾟ — taglist (just comment letting me know or send an ask to be tagged! <3): @dilflover3333 @bbymochi1 @amourrs @fentibeauty @moonylantsovs @sspikey69 @sage111222 @ronaldiary @thel0v3hashira143 @livieweasley @larryrickardlover @littletroublegirl444 @fairyqueenxx007 @maxmayfieldsrealgf1986 @southernvamp @cybergiirl @softpia @the-great-himbo

#max mayfield x fem!reader #max mayfield x reader #max mayfield x you #max mayfield imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #dd. #homophobia tw #internalized homophobia tw

[undercoverpena]

Hey there, I truly admire your openness about your anxiety, and I was wondering if you could offer any tips or techniques that have helped you, especially in the context of being active on this platform. Love your work!

tw: anxiety

hi anon! thank you so much, that's really nice of you. i deffo think i could be more open about it, but it's nice that I've been able to be open enough for you to reach out. i'm sorry it took me a day or two to get back to you, i just wanted to make sure i thought up/over things so i was being as helpful as possible! it's important for me to stress that my situation and my anxiety isn't going to be like everyone else's, and how i cope with it isn't like the "go to". but here are some things that help me (i am not claiming that any of these i came up):

creating a rainy day folder: bad days are a thing for everyone, but i know what things put me in a "stormier" frame of mind, and what i'm critical about. so, when things make me smile (comments, nice reblogs, tags, inbox, dms) i screenshot them and pop them in this folder. and when i need an extra boost (or some proof to fire back at my brain that it's wrong) i spend a bit of time in there. as it's me, it's highly organised HA! but, it deffo helps having the folder, and its reminded me, at times, why i love what i do here.

celebrate with cake: i'm a high-functioning person, who has super low self-esteem. for a good portion of my life (an embarrassingly large portion, honestly) good accomplishments were not celebrated. so, now i make a point to celebrate certain things with food (or books, if I'm reading a lot). one thing I've learnt with my anxiety is that it's easy to get into a cycle, and one way of breaking this is to stop and take the time to realise the milestones I've accomplished or how far I've come. just the other day, i took a walk to the shop and grabbed myself a chocolate bar. a year ago, i wouldn't have felt comfortable doing that by myself. and it's important to recognise those achievements when you've had a hard time. i also recommend everyone gets themselves cake when they finish a series (it's the rules, i swear).

learn about yourself: i'm going to be brutally honest and hope this doesn't bite me on the arse, but there are a lot of times i don't really like myself? i don't see the value i offer, i feel like i let people down, etc etc. it used to be worse, and one of the ways that helped me go from every day i didn't like myself to occasionally disliked myself, is by educating myself on me. I've spent a lot of time making myself small to fit in, I've done things others are into so i fit in to the point i wasn't sure who i was. so, when i had a menty-b (the name i call it), i sat with myself and learnt what i liked. music. movies. clothing. passions. hobbies. i have always written, but i wasn't necessarily writing things i loved. so, i changed it. i dated myself (a term lots of people use). i told my husband i was going to spend Friday nights with myself, and i did something i wanted to do. on my own. and in time, that helped with my anxious feelings and my fears about being online. because i spend a lot of time worrying about what people think, but by dating myself i could learn nice things about me - and that way, had things i could tell myself i knew were true: that i'm actually very nice, kind and really funny. it might not making pressing 'post" easier, but i can hold my chin a little higher?

set yourself a goal of happiness: we're all motivated by different things. sometimes, we make a mental goal to ourselves and it becomes blurred and distorted in numbers. but, if your anxiety (like mine) likes to have a thing to measure itself against, choose something that isn't numbers based, but happiness based. did someone tell you this month that your writing/art/gifs made their day? did something you say make them feel better? it's hard, it really is, and i know there will be people reading this and scoffing, but truthfully, one person telling me something i wrote made their day is all a jo really fucking wants. because i'm going to write regardless, it's a choice i make to share it. so, while i gave examples above, that isn't my current goal, but it was a goal i had, and as long as i try to remind myself of that it helps.

which leads me into, try to stay away from the numbers game which i know is hard. but it does nothing for an anxious mind. like, it's a fickle thing. moods change. don't base your worth on a number, you matter far more than it.

accept it's a part of you: this one is more about me, but since you're asking me i thought this is probably allowed. i have a long-term anxiety disorder - which took a long time to get diagnosed - and i have some other little... things that come with that. and for a long time, i felt broken. but, i was reading a self-help book (because your girl loves reading books about brains) and i realised that i have anxiety. it is already part of me. so i need to work with it. anxiety isn\t nice, it's not kind and it's really annoying. but it also makes me empathetic, it makes me care about the work i do (both here and in my day to day life), or makes me compassionate. whether you have it short term or long term, sometimes it's better to accept it's there, acknowledge it, but DON'T FEED IT. have the worries, and then halt them, tell them no. I've found fighting it before I've got the strength doesn't help me. but, waking up, knowing it's there, nodding at it helps keep it in check. this might not make any sense, but, you know.

and finally, the one i'm still working on is: i cannot fix everything and this is fun, so i need to ensure it stays that way for me. which i know isn't really a tip. but it's a good thing to remember. i am one person, it is not on me to check on every single person. it isn't on me to read every single thing. i don't have to engage with things i don't agree with, i don't have to say all my opinions. i can change fandoms. i can not post for a day/week/month. and all i have to do, if i want to, is offer my absolute best. that's it. it's hard. and it's tough to swallow. but sometimes, a jo just needs to be jo.

i am not sure if my rambling has been helpful, but i thought i could list these: plot your fic, find a buddy to talk about things with, surround yourself with good people. but I've said all of these. but the above are things i can do by myself. they are things i can control. and with anxiety, we're all just looking for the things we can manage, and so i based the list in that way. thank you for coming to my jo-talk, i'm going to go hide from being so vulnerable.

#tw anxiety #asked and answered #jo is not a doctor or a medical professional - she is just someone doing her best #be kind ive been vulnerable and i feel funny

[writersmorgue]

Febuwhump Day 9 - alt. Lightning Strike

I legit couldn't think of anything to do for bees that wasn't too similar to something I've already written, so here's this instead.

TWs in tags || read on Ao3 || wc: 1,063

◈━◈━◈━◈━◈

“What kind of ugly ass scars are those?”

Denki hides his body for a reason. 

“It looks like you were struck by lightning, is it from your quirk, Kaminari?”

They’re ugly, he knows they are. 

“Kaminari, can you move? Your skin is freaking me out.”

People with mutant quirks are treated well at UA, especially the powerful ones like Shouji and Tokoyami. Physical differences mean little to nothing when you can kick anyone’s ass who gives you crap. 

But Denki’s scars are different. They’re completely his fault. 

Every time he goes stupid with overexertion, his quirk fires off at random intervals. Since he’s not conscious to prepare for it, it creates these lines in his skin. Lichtenberg figures, they’re called. 

They’re raised, dusty pink lines on his skin, wrinkled and perpetually tingling. They stretch out all over him, centered on his inner forearms and chest, where his quirk focuses on output. They follow a senseless pattern, weaving across his skin. He used to have a lot of freckles on his body, but many of them have been overtaken. 

When new electricity pulses through them, they get hot and irritated for days after. Denki has to sleep sitting up, leaning over his giant Pikachu plush. It’s tear-stained, looking just about as miserable as he feels on those nights. 

He changes in the showers in the locker room, hiding away from his closest friends. People he trusts with his life. 

Bakugo always looks at him weirdly when he refuses to take off his long sleeves. The guy has some pretty gnarly scars himself; All won in hard-fought battles. Each one tells a story of badassery that Denki could never dream of reaching. 

Just yesterday, during training, he’d overworked himself again. The figure going up his back took the beating and crawled up just past his costume collar. Good thing Todoroki has single-handedly made turtlenecks come back in fashion. 

He’s angry at his weakness and frustrated at his lack of control. 

Shoving his costume in its case, he tugs his long-sleeved sweater down self-consciously.

A gruff voice calls his name, and he curses when the sudden movement his neck makes sends an arrow of pain down his back. 

“Hey man,” He smiles, “what’s up?”

Bakugo’s eye twitches, and before he can so much as breathe, Denki is dragged to the empty offices in the gym. 

“Uhh,” He falters, tripping at the last step before he’s gently (for Bakugo) shoved into a wall. 

“Roll up your sleeves.” His classmate sneers, crossing his arms and glancing to the door as if expecting someone to interrupt and ruin whatever intervention is happening. 

Denki frowns, tucking his hands behind his back and trapping them against the wall. “Kind of a weird request, dude. Do you mind explaining before I strip for you?”

Bakugo flushes, eye-twitching, “You’re stalling, fuckface. I’m not- fuck,” He sighs, glancing to the door again, “I’m not letting you walk out of here if you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“Oh,” Denki blinks slowly. He’s not wrong, but he’s only doing what they all do during training, “It’s just collateral. I’m fine, Bakugo.”

That was the wrong thing to say.

“What the fuck about cutting yourself is collateral, you fucking moron!”

“Cutting my-” Denki mumbles, looking down at his arms. Is that what Bakugo thought?

Huh. 

He looks up at Bakugo suspiciously, “Are you the one who stole my exacto knife and my scissors? Bakugo, I’m not doing that. It’s just scarring from my quirk, like Kirishima’s eye.” He sits on that for a second, “Well, I guess Midoriya’s arms would be a better analogy.”

He brings his arms forward and tugs his sleeves up, exposing his wrists for Bakugo to inspect. “See? From the electricity.”

Bakugo squints, aggressively taking one of his wrists as he’s been given a time limit. 

“How come you cover them then?” He grunts, letting go when satisfied. 

Denki rolls his eyes, “They’re ugly, Bakugo. I’m not blind.”

“Well, as long as you fuckin’ know. Loser.” Imaginary Bakugo jeers, shoving Denki into the wall again and exiting swiftly… Probably giving him a middle finger. 

In reality, he just kind of… stands there. 

After a few moments of silence Denki is far too weirded out to stay quiet. “Uh… dude?”

Bakugo blinks, looking back down at Denki’s arms and grabbing at one to pull up to his face again. He investigates them, eyes darting over the skin, where the thickest of the figure is. “It’s not ugly.”

Um, what?

“Um, what?”

Bakugo tsks at him, waving his own arm in his face, “I said they’re not ugly. Where’d you even get that idea?”

Denki sweetie, Haru’s mom said your arms scared him, so you have to keep the jacket on for the whole play date, okay?

What are you, fifty? What’s with the gross wrinkles?!

Do you, like, wear a full surfer suit when you swim?! If I were you I wouldn’t let anyone see me without a shirt!

No, you sit by him! If he shocks me I’ll look like that!

Denki sighs, leaning back against the wall, “Everyone says that, dude. Since my quirk manifested and I went stupid for the first time.”

Bakugo’s nose scrunches like he smells something bad, “They’re fuckin’ stupid. You’re just like anyone else with scars. Everyone in our class has some, it’s part of the damn job.”

“Yeah, but mine are-”

“Normal, dipshit.” Bakugo interrupts, waving his hand at Denki, “If anyone in our class says shit, I’ll fuckin’ kill ‘em. Only thing ugly about you is your stupid face. Always smiling. It’s gross.” 

Denki can’t help but blush in response. He thinks that’s the closest Bakugo’s ever come to complimenting him! Even if it was just followed by an insult. 

“Aw, thanks Kacchan,” He grins when the tips of Bakugo’s ears pinken. 

“You’re fucking stupid. Are you gonna quit moping now?”

Denki nods, grinning eagerly, “You bet, and I’ll show some skin just for you!”

Bakugo flushes bright red, “Wh- that’s not! Fuck you!!”

Denki giggles, skirting around his fuming classmate before he blows up the office they’ve borrowed. “See you, Kacchan.”

He pauses by the door, catching his hand on the frame, “And thanks, by the way, I appreciate it.”

Bakugo shakes his head, shoving his hands into his pockets, “Whatever dunce face, I better see you in the locker room tomorrow.”

“You know it!”

#bullying #self esteem issues #fluff and angst #emotional hurt/comfort #s3lf h4rm reference!!!!!!! none actually in the fic!!!!!!!!! #sh mention #scars #Lichtenberg figures #as per usual #denki kaminari #bakugo katsuki #bakugo katsuki is a GOOD FRIEND #character redemption #denki needs a hug #also as per usual in my fics #confidence boost #febuwhump #febuwhump2024 #whump............ kind of........ #febuwhumpday9 #morgue's febuwhump 2024 #llyn writes shit

[wellofhavoc]

Hello I just want to thank you for being the only person on here with consistent hawk and dove content (especially on your art account). They are my special little guys and your characterization of them is SO GOOD. I’ve read some of your tags about the Mordru/Hector/Unity stuff and I’d love to hear your thoughts about it if you’re comfortable. Hank haters be damned 💙💙💙

Oh thank you so much! I'm really glad to be here for anyone who is looking for content. I don't fill the fanfic niche quite yet, but that can be fixed with my Many Thoughts- so thank you for asking to hear them and in advance: I'm Sorry.

[TW for mention of SA during The Conception, the rest doesn't mention it.]

A Quick Guide

For the sake of simplicity when talking about this with my friends who didn't read all of this comic stuff, I've built a list of shorthand that makes things easier for people listening. Since this is written, I won't have to use ones like "Dawn" and "Donny" but I feel like some others being explained here could help. I also have headcanons I'll explain my reasons for in some areas, but in others it's just how I deal with the MANY retcons that surround the whole "Monarch/Extant/Mordru" nonsense.

The body Hector Hall possesses- the actual, lost child of Hawk and Dove- is "Dector" Hall [because it's funny and simple.]

"Mordru" and "Hank" as one body are known as "Extant" and it's my general belief that Hank started with more control that he gradually lost over time but Hank never stopped fighting the control Mordru had over his powers and his body.

Dawn did die in the moment "Monarch" killed her, but then Mordru simply revived her in the hand-waving fashion most villains get to just do that when he wanted to have their child instead.

The point of the Unity project wasn't just to have a baby, but for Hawk and Dove to decide to have a baby. This means that Dector is not a true Unity and, in my opinion, doesn't have full access to the Hawk and Dove powers, just the propensity for a balance between Order and Chaos.

The Conception

The only part I've ever hesitated to share is my feeling on how Hank and Dawn would process their trauma regarding Hector's conception because I largely think Dawn would handle it by: Not Handling It and Hank would probably immediately try to process his feelings by finding a target for his aggression only to be faced with one simple fact: The JSA and Dawn already killed him.

There's also the less simple fact that Hank probably wouldn't immediately assume Dawn knew as much as he did about the time he was under Mordru's control considering she was dead for a portion of the time, asleep for a lot of it, and just not physically present for much of the stuff Mordru did as "Extant." This means that he feels bad not talking about it because- even though probably one of the first conversations since Blackest Night [when he was resurrected] was about the whole "baby thing" was about the assault so he knows she knows- he convinces himself that he IS keeping how BAD IT was from her and that that makes him just as horrible and that he "must have actually gotten some satisfaction out of it." At the same time, he doesn't feel like he can bring it up to her again and again without making it seem like he WANTS her to be traumatized, because all he actually wants is a conversation he doesn't feel the right to ask for.

All of this to say that I want to include Hank's perspective on the assault without CENTERING him because I do think Dawn's experience with being killed, being assaulted, and her lost motherhood that she never asked for [and in my opinion, never saw for herself] would absolutely wreck her but Dawn has always been the type to bottle up and focus on the "practical." She would try to "get over" her feelings without processing them because... what is the logical point in doing the work when she can just skip to the pay off? Obviously the answer is that that's largely not how emotions work, but she wouldn't care, but not realize that she's not handling it as well as she thinks. Sure she could talk about it with Hank, but she would understand it upsets him and wouldn't see any benefit to bringing it up or letting him talk himself into the ground about it.

The main issue is that they both hold themselves to an impossibly high standard: How they see each other. They would both probably come to the conclusion that the other one is FINE so they should be FINE and that's not only not how feelings/trauma works but it's also not true.

If I had a season of a TV show or five issues to delve into their dynamic post-possession, I think it would take a third party to maybe cross that line for them and ask how they are regarding that specific blip in their history or likely privately ask one of them how it's affected their relationship and open their eyes to the fact that their partner is definitely not taking this as well as they seem to think they are. Maybe then they could actually start unpacking Hank's known horror of his time as Mordru's puppet and Dawn's unknown horror of their lost time and how she was used.

Dector Hall

Of course there's still one person we haven't addressed in regards to their feelings. Some people forget that this was a character- or at the very least was intended to have character at some point.

When Hector visits with the other Fates inside of the helmet at the barbecue, there is an implication that someone is missing from the party outside of Mordru. Hector's subconscious is lined with pictures of Hawk and Dove before he was forced to reconcile with the fact that this body was their child.

Dector was a child sacrificed to the mantle of Doctor Fate- to be a vessel for Hector Hall- for the fate of the universe and then forcibly aged. If it wasn't Hector, it would have been Mordru, after all. It's just an incredibly sad thought, and considering this child seems to have been either conscious enough of the circumstances of his birth to know who his biological parents are. He was a PERSON, isn't that fucked up?

Wish the comics had more to say about these implications- but I sure do!

I fear a lot of them won't make sense outside of the story I've elaborately crafted in my head- but a lot of things I like to think about stem from me thinking about how it would feel from behind the eyes of someone not quite a friend and not quite a stranger to watch your mom leave in search of someone to belong to and someone that she can take care of while you're so small and without the voice to ask for her to turn around and really look at you.

Dawn and Motherhood

I think Dawn's feelings about motherhood would be complicated. I think Dawn is a caretaker, but helplessness scares her. She likes responsibility. It makes her feel good, and she likes to be trusted and needed.

But helplessness frustrates her. We can see this with Ren freaking out about Copperhead and Dawn telling her to calm down because "people are watching" while Hank just keeps consoling her. She's not a robot, but she isn't good with high emotions- she thinks the insurgence on Druspa Tau must be totally born from Hank or M'shulla because she knows the logic behind the decisions regarding population and resource control, doesn't think to check in with Ren until she starts avoiding her because SHE knows she's not hitting on Hank and thus doesn't see why Ren should be upset, her immediate reaction after Terataya and T'charr confess their plans for the future of Hawk and Dove and kiss in their bodies is to ask if she and Hank should fall in love as if it's that simple.

She was also still getting her associates in college in her early 20s when she was killed/abducted, so something tells me "I'm ready to have a baby" never crossed her mind.

But she had one, and it's the last purpose Tarataya and T'charr laid out for her and Hank before they vanished. Crossing that off of her list and no longer needing to justify a possible romantic relationship she wasn't ever really interested in: What's next?

I do feel she would have a sense of loss, though. How could she not think about those possible futures she saw from Waverider and how she felt watching and living in them?

I think Dawn could be happy as a mother if she had time to prepare for it, but that's definitely not the case here. I don't think Dawn is a very warm person, but she still cares about other people. That means I can't believe she doesn't have SOME emotions about the person Hector has warped into his new body. Even if Dector isn't conscious at all- which he definitely was at at least some point between the writers- it would be hard to separate the logic of this body being a shell from the emotion that that shell was a human being that grew inside of her- that she met with different faces in a sea of different futures and in one of those worlds held in her arms.

Unity

I have plans- so many plans- I will one day sit down and properly start "Hawk and Dove: Revenge" a long-form fancomic where I hope to explore a full AU. This will also include the Don Revival AU and my ideas on other unexplored or half-explored Hawk and Dove concepts [The War Council, Revisiting Druspa Tau, Holly and Dawn's relationship, Holly Granger Character Arcs, power evolution-] but for now-

Unity!

She doesn't have a canon name- only known as "Dr. Arsala," considering this was 1. Never meant to be a canon ending for Hawk and Dove, just another possibility but this one being born of both of their futures if they survive to the future together and 2. In a book FULL of alternate children- sons and daughters, brown, black, and blonde haired- we can assume "Dr. Arsala" is just another "what if?" an example of the kind of person a child of Hawk and Dove could be.

Still she's a GREAT character- a mouthy neurosurgeon who is as direct as she is crafty. That's why I choose the more literal interpretation- that she was their future in a universe ruled by Monarch. Of course, that universe can't really exist now and Hawk and Dove are loosely implied to only be a "One in a span of different universes" kind of deal, meaning one Hawk and one Dove per each cluster of timelines since there is only one Chaos and Order dimension across those timelines [See the Phantom Zone for a better idea of how that works- it's too much to explain here- the idea is that Druspa Tau, the Chaos Dimension, and the Phantom Zone are their own dimensions separate of multi-universe theory, meaning that for however many infinite Earths exist, there will only be one Hawk and Dove per that cluster.]

Of course, due to the nature of INFINITE Earths being infinite- it stands to reason that- in theory- there could exist multiple Hawks and Doves... they'd just be from Universe Group B instead of another dimension in Universe Group A- just like there being a possibility of other Phantom Zones and maybe even a group of universes without ANY Hawks or Doves either because there is no Chaos or Order Dimension or because T'charr and Terataya never met or simply ran off together.

All of this to say, there's plenty of room for A Unity to exist out there somewhere, and I would love to see her get to replant a world on Monarch's scorched ground.

More than that, I'd like to break down her feelings on her mysterious conception- did her mom cheat on her dad? Did Sal know about it? Did Hank and Dawn knowingly have this child as a last resort against Monarch? Is she a weapon?

Personally, I think what we see of our Doctor is that she has Dawn's tendency toward the practical in high-stress situations, but that she has Hank's heart. From both of them, she has their sense of duty. I think that means she'd understand if she was conceived with the sole purpose of saving the world, and from there struggle with how that makes her feel or if she gets to have feelings. It's not as though the people responsible for her being alive would be around to talk to her about why they did what they did or to apologize for putting so much onto her.

She is the last hero of Earth in the future, too. If she rewrites Monarch's mind into something useful, he will still only be a weapon- no one that she can relay information to or discuss her place in the world with. Without Monarch's iron fist in place, there would definitely be a new wave of people trying to fill a perceived power vacuum. Just because she was strong enough to beat an inflated dictator doesn't mean that taking over his world and rebuilding it will be easy, nor does it mean that more intense threats will be just as easy to handle. Sharp claws and a sharper mind are good weapons, but they aren't the only thing she'll need against any possible underground revolts that might fear the last Meta Human might be a WORSE dictator than Monarch was.

Of course, we'll never get to see her tact or how it would stack up to these new types of foes, but this is about my thoughts and this is what Unity makes me think about.

There's also the cosmic implications- what would magic users previously removed from the now VERY dangerous, Monarch-Ruled dimension think of its new caretaker and her power source? The War Council? So many possibilities for a future never meant to be in canon.

I think even if she got everything she wanted- full Utopia- she's not the kind of person to not like having a project. Maybe she'd have to take her services elsewhere, and we'd get to see the Doc make a few house calls.

Conclusion

Thanks for reading my rambles, however much you did. I am very grateful for the excuse to dump my thoughts out like this.

#hawk and dove #hank hall #dawn granger #dc #comics #unity #havoc blog #hector hall #doctor fate #mordru

[gothra]

Do you have any butchie fic rec’s?

sorry this one took so long, it turns out that gathering links takes a bit longer than i thought it might. just a warning: I’m going wide, because I don’t know where to stop so I’m just going to be loading a bunch in here. and they are mostly smut except for a few domestic ones, and a few bits of angst.

The first and best ones I read were the ones in aishahiwatari’s repertoire. This is kind of one of the larger collection of Butchie fics that I’ve found in the tag, so it would take forever to explain the premise of all of them, if you have spare time just take a look. There’s a lot of porn (and you will soon come to realize that that’s kind of the running theme here) but the one that really fucked me up was earth or diabolical creature because FUCK Hughie and Butcher have a toddler and she’s cute and I’m losing i

I also like this series, it’s got a lot of creative and interesting choices for smut scenarios and it all ends in a dramatic and emotional fashion.

this one is slightly like the one above but I’m not complaining because it’s good and it’s cute

okay now we’re getting into the standalones. I’ll include any of the more important content warnings, but it’s a lot to type so bare with me if you click and there’s something I’ve missed im sorry

bitter skin by none_the_wiser (one-shot. short and spicy! really encapsulates the sort of rough-and-tumble, love-to-hate-you-hate-to-love-you high that butchie seems to be on. they honestly write it better than I can.)

if you wanna be my lover…, by watchthequeenconquer (spice girls!!! The comparisons are apt. if passing out, choking, mildly dubious consent, verbal humiliation, intoxication or play fighting bothers you, avoid.)

this writer has a series of other fics that are more domestic and fluffy, centered more on them raising Ryan, which I LOVE and need MORE of:

but it may be a lunatic you’re looking for by cathect (love how horny this one is and the blurb always makes me laugh)

(bad?) neighbors by motherfuckingsorcery (I love fics that exploit hughie’s obvious praise kink)

Most of the butchie fics from holyfudgemonkies 2021 kinktober collection (keep your eyes on the tags as some have some darker and dead dove stuff but overall a fun reading experience). honestly just their whole tag has some fun stuff

if you’re noticing that I’m getting less and less specific and I’m just posting full collections, it’s because I didn’t realize just how much work this was so I’m basically just posting every fic I’ve ever read. that being said…

struck by a bolt is a very sexy series by (ourdramaqueen)

one way ticket to a dead end by ezran (hot! a bit of toxic behavior in this one tho)

ask a question, get an answer by satsumasegments (I WISH this had happened instead. it’s such a hot, smoothly written fic I love it)

when I say that this next fic fucked me up, I’m not joking. I don’t know why I read it, because death bothers me a lot, even fictional deaths, but I read it and I couldn’t function properly for days after. I think I’m just sensitive but Christ it was painful.

so you should definitely read what do they know about friends by satsuma segments

the spare knife of happiness by flwrgardens (did I mention how much I LOVE Hughie and butcher being domestic with Ryan?? Because I love it. this is such a you-have-already-left-kudos-here ass fic I love it I love it)

house of stone by tylerose (more domesticity. GIVE ME MORE DOMESTICITY AND FALLING IN LOVE!! tw for drug use but it’s just Temp V)

touch me gently, it’s been too long by spacelesscass (so tender like chicken nugget. so soft.)

please note that not every fic I’ve ever read and liked is on this list, I just tried to maintain what little brevity I had left because putting this together was so exhausting?? if you want the rest let me know but i'd basically be putting the whole tag in there since 1. it's very small and 2. i read a lot of fics

#the boys #hughie campbell #billy butcher #butchie #gothra #asks #fics #fic recs

[lynlyndoll]

The Letter

genre: angst (hehe😸)

tw: it could make people cry idk? I mean, I hope I didn't make it a huge level of angst, but like, yeah!

pairing: changbin x fem! reader

w/c: 1.8k

summary: You've found yourself wondering whether your life would be or not the same if you made the right choices. However, you thought about this too late.

a/n: I haven't written angst in what feels like forever😸. I'm glad that i finally finished it and I can happily say that I'm very happy with the result!

You've always feared rejection, but never had a problem at rejecting people. It could be funny, for an outsider, to see and hear the things you do, but never know how you truly felt. That's till you met Changbin, the sweet, cool guy that never meant to hurt a fly. You grew with him, honestly. You knew about the innocent crush he had on you. It was funny, you might think, that a guy would chase so much after you, so you turned this into a game.

You didn't have anything against the poor boy, he was rather cute and you liked him - as a friend. You've hung out with him and some of his friends and you saw how nice he was and how, if you weren't that complicated, you'd maybe befriend him. But, of course, you're young and always ready for a little "tag, you're it" game, always running away from the boy who never truly understood why he never got to talk to only you, not in a hang out of your friend group.

This game lasted a few years and whenever he was somehow losing some interest, you'd always find a way of getting him back, flirting a little bit or teasing glances. You enjoyed this, however, as you both grew, his patience wasn't as lasting as it used to be. Sure, he liked you. A lot. And would probably do everything to make you smile, however - of course there is a however - he knows you don't reciprocate the feelings.

However, he liked you. And whenever we like someone, we do foolish things to make them like us, as well. So, he spent his whole high school years around you, trying to make you smile, trying to make you laugh and more exactly, to like him. More than a friend, of course. Things looked good between you and him, marvelous as he was thinking and hoping. So he made a move. He went to a coffee shop - the one you adored - and got you your favorite drink, returning to the high school's campus before hours. He finds you on the bench near the entrance, so he smiles at you and calls out your name, making you smile as well. You accept the drink and sip from it, humming in pleasure. Then, you look at Changbin. That day is the day he asks you if you'd like to have a date with him. You say nothing more than a cold no and look at him as if he was the tiniest person. That day is the day his hopes got crushed, leaving nothing other than a heartbreak and a not-so-spoken phrase of goodbye. But he learnt something that day, as well. To never trust you again, whether it was a friendship, whether it was more than that.

That event got forgotten by you, however, after a few months. Sure, you did remember the boy's look in his eyes and the way he pouted and never talked to you again. Sure, it made you sad. The thought of not being friends with Changbin often made your days sadder, but you thought it was alright. However, you were wrong.

One day, while you were on the bench where you have always sat, you saw an extremely happy Changbin with an extremely happy girl. The girl was shining with happiness, Changbin's hand wrapped around the girl's waist. Of course he wouldn't stay single. Afterall, he was liked by many people - including girls - for both his personality and looks. However, a tiny regret crosses your mind and heart. But you don't think of it, instead going inside the school.

You're sitting at the cafe next to your university. It's a new part of the city and you just moved, so, as you were exploring it, you found this place in which you found a great peace. You sip from your coffee and look outside when you see an oddly familiar face. The body isn't easily recognizable, however the small curls of his hair and the tiny, cute cheeks remind you of a friend you used to have. As the person enters the café, you lock eyes with him and a silent whisper comes out from your mouth.

"Changbin.." You say, even if it was the quietest whisper ever. He looks at you as well, muttering a "Y/N". He smiles a little bit, eyes still squinted to be sure that you were really there. The truth is that you haven't seen him since the incident that, somehow, you remember again while remembering all the times you were together with him. He comes a little bit closer and you offer him to sit down, so he does. He is much buff now, but his face still remains the same.

You've chatted that day. A lot, you might say. He reassured you that it's not a big thing that you and he had in the past and that he'd be glad if you'd accord him a second chance to be your friend. You smiled and nodded at his suggestion. Not after much time, he leaves just as sudden as he came, however, giving you his phone number for you to call.

You started hanging out with Changbin almost every day. Sometimes, unintentionally, because of how close you lived to each other. It was fun, you must admit, to have him next to you again. He was as sweet as you could remember him to be, however, this time, not because he liked you. He even told you he had a girlfriend. You met her, it was the same girl as in high school. You wouldn't want to admit this out loud, but she was pretty and smart and the exact perfect match for Changbin. However, the sting and regret you felt years ago, came back, in an even more painful way. You were happy for him, seeing him happy with her, but you've understood how foolish you were in high school. The roles were now inverted, making you the one to like a guy who'd reject you, no matter what. However, you did want him as a friend, accepting every part of him he'd give you.

You're now standing at the closest table of his own friends and acquaintances, however, only you were left outside the dance ring as music and happy sounds are the only things you hear. Everything that was the opposite of what you felt. You aren't crying, you did it to yourself, you know it. However, the sting feels so painful right now, that you'd prefer to leave as soon as possible.

Changbin sees you alone at the table and leaves his dancing partner.

"Hey!" He says with a smile, so you try to reciprocate it.

"Hi."

"Wanna dance?" He chuckles as he gives you his hand, which you take.

When you were in the middle of the dance ring, he looks at your face.

"What's wrong? I know you're not feeling well, I can see it." He smiles reassuringly.

"It's nothing." You smile, tears threatening to strain your cheeks.

"You know... back in high school?" He starts, still looking at you, the question making you raise your eyes at him. "I waited for you." He sighs. "To come again and give me at least a little sign. That you wanted me." He sighs again.

"I thought you avoided me. I thought..." You sigh, eyes already blurring your vision because of the tears.

"I also hoped that today, at least, you would come and tell me to not get married. I really did hope."

"Changbin..." Both of you start sobbing. "I love you, and, unfortunately, too much for a friend. But you have a great wife and will have a bright future." You smile. "I couldn't ruin all this. I also hoped that we could give it a try, but I couldn't just simply tell you to stop this." You wipe your tears and his. Then, the song stops, making you go back to reality. You smile towards Changbin as you get your hand away, making room for his wife to start dancing with him. He was still looking at you, though, quiet sobs still making an appearance.

However, you don't look back. You get your bag and get your coat, you slip the note you've written for Changbin to see it and read it while all of this is over. You say a goodbye towards almost everyone and leave the event, wiping your tears away.

Changbin got home and, in the quietness of the apartment, he looked around at the things he and his newly wife got from the wedding. He saw an envelope, so he took it and opened it. Inside there was a note written for him.

"Dear Changbin,I think of so many things to tell you, however, I can't. So, I choose to write to you about a little story. The story is about a girl and a boy. The boy liked the girl, however, she did not reciprocate the feelings, nor did she let the boy free. However, after some time of them being friends, the girl screwed the friendship between her and him because of how harsh she was with her rejection of the boy's feelings. Time passed and they haven't talked for a long time, until fate made them meet again, accidentally. They became friends. Close friends. And the girl found herself thinking of the boy a lot, realizing she liked the boy. However, it was too late for her. The boy was going to marry his girlfriend. Now, you might think that this is only a simple story, but this is the story of us. I've liked you for a long time, Changbin, but I never and would never dare to ruin what you and your now-wife have. I hope you're happy and I'm sure that you'll be cared about a lot. I see it in her eyes, she is a wonderful person. I'm sorry that I was too late to tell you this. I also want to tell you that you'll probably not be able to contact me after you read this. That's something I want, however. I'm glad that I was part of your past and I want to thank you for every single happy moment we had together.

Your friend,

Y/N"

He started crying as he read the letter you wrote. He indeed tried to talk to you, calling you on your phone number.

We're sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.

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@agi-ppangx @lisaaassophhhieee

#straykids #straykids x reader #kpop x you #straykids x you #kpop x reader #straykids x yn #kpop x y/n #skz #changbin #changbin x y/n #changbin x you #changbin x reader #changbin scenarios #changbin angst

[cielie-voss]

Potatosoup and pouring rain

Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Eddie falls in love with his best friend y/n and they get closer one evening when she's feeling down after an argument with her parents and needs his kitchen to calm down.

Tw: mentions of sh, unaliving thoughts, depressions, bullying (chewing gum in hair), shitty and toxic parents. But it's mostly fluff and Eddie caring for his best friend.

I'm not quite happy with it, mostly because I'm not sure if I got him right. But I'm trying, ok? I'm still learning and I promise I'll be better.

And because you wanted to be tagged in anything I'll post, @rogue-durin-16 . ;)

My Masterlist

It's not the first time he's found her in the pouring rain. It became almost a habit that they accidentally bumped into each other soaking wet from the rain. Whereby at these meetings there is always a certain melancholy, fear, almost panic and anger that overshadows his joy at seeing her.

Because when he looked into her eyes he knew that something was wrong.

Most of the time it was her parents who made her life hell. Punishing her for something she didn't do, giving her nonsensical tasks, or just yelling at her for no reason, or ignoring her completely. There were rarely other reasons.

She was good at school, she only got A's, was every teacher's darling, took care of the younger ones and tutored them. She was involved in clubs and helped organize various events. When you first met her on the street you would only assume that she was a very dedicated and fun-loving person. But when you got to know her intimately, the way only Eddie and no one else did, you knew she was doing all of this just to escape from her reality.

He wasn't sure how she could stand it all with her head held high. He admired her self-sacrificing way of taking care of everything and everyone while completely forgetting about herself. It was just her way of running away from her problems.

Whenever there was a charity event, he always brought her band-aids for the blisters on her feet and some crackers. Because he knew that she hadn't eaten anything all day except for probably a coffee and had bloodied her feet in her Converse. With a silent nod, she accepted the kind gesture and withdrew for a moment, but only at his repeated urging. They sat in a corner away from the hustle and bustle. He took off her shoes and put band-aids on the sore spots while she nibbled on the crackers in silence.

But it wasn't only him helping her. No, she too helped her friends, especially Eddie. She helped him with his homework, tutored him, listened to the songs he had written, made some suggestions for improvement, and showed up at every gig, clapping loudly and cheering.

Although she enjoyed hanging out with the 'freaks' a lot, she had a relatively neutral status at school, many liked her but most ignored her. And when Jason or any of the other jocks started picking on Eddie and the Hellfire Club again, she would step in and calm things down.

Although that had brought her some nasty nicknames and her reputation became more and more negative over time. But she cared very little about that. Above all, it was important to her to be there for her friends and to stand up for them.

This special friendship has now lasted for several years. They first met just before the summer holidays when she was 12, he was 14. He found her under the stands outside on the sports field, crying bitterly and curled up like a ball. Some idiot had gummed her beautiful y/h/c hair together and the more she tried to pry the sticky bubble gum out of her curls, the worse it got.

He didn't know what to do or say. To say he was just a little overwhelmed by the situation would have been the understatement of the decade. He knew what it was like to be bullied, what it was like to be an outsider, but he could take care of himself and knew he was better than caring what other people said or thought. But how was he supposed to convey that sense of self-confidence to a bundle so small, fragile, and crying?

He squatted beside her shaking and sobbing form and hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. After she flinched at the sudden touch and looked up at him (she hadn't seemed to notice him and was now surprised that someone was with her) he began patting her shoulder gently.

"It's ok" he started to calm her down. "I'm here, ok? Relax and we'll take care of your hair." He didn't know how, but somehow they finally managed to get the chewing gum out of her hair with a lot of effort.

But now they are older. She had confided in him, only in him. Her thoughts, fears, desires. She knew she was safe with him. She knew he would never look at her disparagingly for the thoughts that sometimes cross her mind, or for what she sometimes does to herself.

He noticed early on the cuts on her upper arm or her legs, the bruises on her knuckles or her bloody lips. And eventually she stopped trying to hide it from him.

"Sweetheart, you can't do that shit." were his words as he met her in the school parking lot one morning and drove her to a doctor for treatment of her hand, which was covered in bruises and red spots and could no longer clench to a fist properly. She knew he wasn't mad, at least not at her. Of course he was worried and she understood that and she also felt beyond nauseous at the thought of someone worrying about her, but there were moments when her mind went haywire and her body did things that weren't acceptable.

But before anything could happen this time, she found her way to school. She knew Eddie was there tonight with the rest of the Hellfire Club, continuing the campaign.

In her hand she holds a shopping bag that is now pretty soaked. She has now made it a habit to cook as soon as thoughts and emotions bubble up in her that she doesn't like. It's just hard to cook at home and try to calm down when the reason for her anger and emotional pain is constantly buzzing around her: her parents.

As the door slams behind the troupe and they stare into the relentless rain, their animated conversation suddenly stops. The older ones say their goodbyes and hurry through the rain to their cars while Nancy pulls up and lets her brother and his friends get in.

"See ya tomorrow!" Dustin calls out to Eddie. The latter, on the other hand, only waves in approval, his eyes resting on the figure leaning against his van. He presses his lips into a tight line and as Nancy drives off with the kids he takes a deep breath and makes his way through the rain.

When only a few steps separate him from the girl, he puts on a charming smile and puffs out his chest.

"M'Lady, you look like you need the help of a brave knight." After he has indicated a small bow and sees how the corners of her mouth twitch gently into a smile, he stretches out a hand to take the bag from her.

"Oh, thank you, your Lordship." she replies in a similar tone and pushes a few strands of wet hair away from her face. She hands Eddie the soaked bag, very carefully in fear of tearing it. He puts the bag in the van and looks back at his friend, who is still standing in the rain and makes no move to get into the car.

"Y'know you could've come in too." Eddie explains and waves his hand in the direction of the door of the school. "Then you wouldn't be soaking wet now." He leans his back against the driver's door, looks her up and down, and crosses his arms over his chest. After she tilted her head back at his statement and made a frustrated growling sound, he raised a hand and tried to cover his enchanted grin by picking at his rough lips.

"But I love the rain. I love it when the drops hit my head, my skin. The sound of the raindrops hitting the ground..." Dreamily, she stretches out her arms, closes her eyes and dances to a just in her mind present melody through the rain.

He watches her for a moment. He's relieved that, at least for the moment, she seems carefree and has found some kind of inner peace. But after only a short time he pushes himself away from his car and tries to grab her.

"Come on, sweetheart, you'll catch a cold. And what am I going to do at school without you?"

His gentle laughter tempts her to smile as well. He watches her impatiently as she keeps spinning and stretches her face towards the rain. To be honest he would love to watch her like this all night. She looks so relieved and truly content. But with the best will in the world he doesn't know how he's going to survive his everyday school life without her if she gets a cold now.

He probably doesn't like to admit it to himself, but he cares a lot more about her than he should as just a good friend. Every day he doesn't see her is an incredibly long and wasted day. But he just can't muster the courage to say something to her or to give her a hint. A perfect person like her would never return his feelings. And so he has to be content with what he has: her friendship, her loyalty, her pleasant presence that makes him forget all his worries, at least for a moment.

His fingers wrap around her wrist as she's spinning in circles on her tiptoes and pulls her towards him with a flourish. She presses her hands against his chest and they both stagger backwards until they slam into the van. A startled laugh escapes her as her back hits the cold metal and Eddie tries not to crush her with his weight. He braces his hands against the van next to her body, breaking his fall. Her wide grin is reflected on his lips as he looks down on her.

"Come on, prima ballerina." He tries to suppress a laugh, but fails and lets out a deep, satisfied giggle.

"But only because it's you." she agrees after a moment.

"Good girl." He pulls away from her and winks at her as he walks around the car and opens the passenger door.

"After you, m'lady." He bows again and extends his arm to politely show her the obvious way to the passenger seat.

It's only when she has slumped onto the seat and buckled herself in that she feels the cold creeping over her skin, starting to numb her fingertips. Her clothes are clinging to her body and Eddie can't help but notice how it accentuates every curve of her body. The way her stomach muscles tighten at that little giggle as she looks down at her trembling fingers, the way her chest rises and falls with each breath. Her hair is stuck in strands to her neck, and if he looks closely, he can clearly see her pulse through her now porcelain-looking skin.

He quickly realizes that it's not right for a best friend to stare at her like that and long to let his fingers slide over her wet skin, to feel her laugh under his touch. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head in an attempt to banish these thoughts and images as he leans back from the driver's seat and pulls out a blanket.

"Here, so you don't get too cold until we get to my place." He carefully drapes the blanket over her shoulders. She grabs the warming fabric and wraps it around her.

"Thanks, Eddie."

"For what?" he replies with a laugh and starts the engine. He knows exactly what she wants to thank him for but can't find the words.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see her bending her legs and wrapping her arms around her knees. It takes a few moments before he dares to break the silence.

"Did you have stress at home again?" His voice sounds cold and serious, not as playful and artificial as before. He doesn't need an answer though, her turning her head and looking away from him was enough for him. He has known her for so many years and understands her without words.

"Did you -" he can't finish the sentence he had carefully composed in his head earlier.

"No." Her voice is dry and sounds hurt in a way. Is she hurt because she thinks he doesn't trust her? Is she hurt because she thinks he's accusing her of breaking her promise? He hates himself for even thinking she could have harmed herself and making her feel that she'd disappoint him.

"Even if it's hard, I don't intend to disappoint you too." she finally explains after a short silence and looks at him again. Any life and joy she felt before in the pouring rain has vanished from her eyes.

"Y/n you could never let me down in any way." Eddie assures her and carefully puts his hand on her knee. "No matter what you do." He feels guilty for making her feel so hurt with his statement and if he could he would love to take her in his arms and hug her right now. But he has to concentrate on the road.

After a few moments, his van pulls up in front of his trailer and he gets out to open the door for her. He gives her his hand and helps her get out of the van.

"I'll get you some dry clothes, you can dry yourself in the bathroom." She obediently follows him into the trailer and disappears into the bathroom after Eddie has fetched the bag with the groceries. He puts the bag in the kitchen before hurrying to his room and pulling from his closet a t-shirt, a pair of socks and a pair of pajama bottoms, all at least one size too big for her, but at least she's dry.

She peels off her clothes, relieved to no longer have the wet fabric clinging to her skin. Standing in front of the mirror in just her underwear, she eyes her reflection sceptically. But before she can think about it any further, a loud knocking noise snaps her out of her trance.

"I um...I've got some clothes for you. And a towel! I'm sorry I don't have any underwear for you." She can hear him clear his throat and take a few steps away from the door.

"Y-you can take the things. They're in front of the door." He has turned his back to the door in the meantime and is standing a few steps away to offer her the opportunity to take the clothes and the towel without him seeing her exposed skin.

He rocks restlessly from one foot to the other and plays with the rings on his fingers while behind him the door opens a crack and a bare arm reaches out for the pile of carefully folded fabric. After the door closes again with a slight click, he takes a deep breath. Only now does he realize how long he actually held his breath and didn't breathe, as if he'd forgotten how to breathe.

"Can I get you something? Water? A beer?" A beer? He's never seen her drink alcohol now that he thinks about it. He rubs his eyes nervously and would like to take back his unnecessary and stupid offer.

"Could you heat water for tea please? I would be very grateful." comes her voice from the bathroom. Tea. Tea? He doesn't even know if they have something like tea in the house.

"Uhm, y-yes. Yeah sure." he stutters to himself, searching the kitchen for something like a teapot. He didn't even know they had one and is all the more relieved to finally find it.

Triumphantly he holds the kettle up, fills it with water and puts it on the stove.

He leans against the kitchen counter and glances alternately at the bathroom door and the tea kettle, jiggling his leg nervously and biting his thumbnail.

After an awfully long time, the bathroom door finally opens and y/n emerges. For a brief moment, his heart skips a beat when he sees her, wrapped in one of his band shirts, his pajama pants hanging loosely on her hips. She has tied her hair in a bun so that her wet locks don't annoy her. Only the whistling of the tea kettle releases him from this unpleasant situation of speechlessness.

"Your tea water!" He explains a bit too late and hastily puts one of the dozen cups in front of her. She pulls a box of fruit tea out of her bag and hangs a sachet in the cup. After she fills the cup with water, spreads out the groceries on the counter and Eddie has taken a knife, she turns to him and gives him a reproachful look.

"And what exactly do you think you're doing?" She takes the knife from his hand. Actually, he wanted to help her peel the vegetables or cut the meat that she just put on the worktop. "Get out of my kitchen! I don't need any help."

"It's still my kitchen, sweetie," he laughs, shaking his head. She stands in front of him, chest popped out, chin up, eyebrows furrowed. If he didn't know that she is the most loving person in the world, he would almost feel threatened. But she is indeed the kindest, most polite and loving person in the entire world.

"Yeah, and that's your corpse I'll have to hide if you keep bugging me. So..." She raises her hands in defense and gestures in the direction of the living room, trying to motion him to sit on the sofa.

"You must be really out of your mind if you think I'm leaving you unsupervised in my kitchen with a lot of stuff to hurt yourself with." He puts special emphasis on the word "my" and stretches it out miserably. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and looks down at her pointedly.

"I swear to God, if you don't-" Still holding the knife she took from him moments earlier, she waves a pointing index finger in front of his nose.

"Ok, ok, I'll go and leave you to work in my kitchen. But at least let me watch you." He offers her before she can continue her threats and holds out his hand to seal the deal.

She looks at him incredulously for a brief moment before swinging the knife in her hand in an elegant, and for his taste a damn sexy, motion so that the blade is now pressed flat against her forearm and she can't stab him if she takes his hand to shake it.

"Deal." she explains, giving him her hand with which she is still holding the knife with her little finger and her ring finger and shaking it. How glad he is that she doesn't notice how his heart is sinking into his pants at this moment. Although her handling of the sharp tool worries him, he is just as fascinated and taken aback by it. As casual and effortless as she makes it look with, let's be honest, a weapon in hand, he can't help but admire her. Like having a master thief or assassin written straight out of a fantasy novel into the real world.

"And now..." she shoos him out of the kitchen, hands waving, and he tiptoes theatrically from her, only to stand on the other side of the counter. She spreads the ingredients out in front of her and when she sees him open his mouth to say something, she gives him her typical death stare. He closes his mouth and makes a gesture with his right hand as if locking his lips with a key and then throwing the key away. Without further ado, he follows her orders to leave her alone and sits in the chair, leaning his forearms on the counter for support and watching her more closely.

For the next few minutes he watches her as she peels the carrots and potatoes and cuts the vegetables into cubes along with the garlic, onions and meat. He notices a little something that has rolled in his direction. He takes it in his hand skeptically and turns it as he examines the whitish tuber.

"Shouldn't carrots be orange? And isn't that a bit small for a carrot?" He tilts his head and looks at her questioningly. As his words reached her mind, which had been busy with the recipe she had previously made up in her mind going over and over again, she froze.

Before she could let out a confused "What?!" he explains, "I mean, I accept every carrot as it is and even small carrots taste good, but...", he lifts the small tuber, which is not thicker than his little finger, "it's really puny. Is it all already ripe?"

"See! And that's why I won't let you help in the kitchen." She takes the tuber from his hand.

"That's parsley root and not a carrot, dipshit"

She turns away from him again, peels and slices what he's now learned is parsley root, and he mouths a long, embarrassed "oh."

While he watches her as she roasts the meat, then puts it aside, roasts the vegetables and deglazes with broth, he rather unconsciously drums around on the worktop. He feels a little out of place. Although he enjoys watching her stick out the tip of her tongue when she's tense, her strands of hair fall in front of her face and how she tries to blow them away while she has her hands full or chews her lip when she's thinking, it was just as hard for him to not help her. But she has forbidden him and he sticks to the deal.

Only when the vegetables are finally boiling, and she leans against the kitchen counter with her cup of tea, looking at Eddie over the rim of the cup, he dares to speak to her.

"What exactly are you cooking there?" he carefully tries to find out. Y/n swallows the tea and feels the warmth spread through her body.

"Potato soup." she answers curtly and takes another sip.

Potato soup? He can't remember ever seeing her eat soup.

"Soup? I didn't know you liked soup."

"I don't like it either." she replies with a shrug and he furrows his eyebrows.

"But I had a recipe in mind and thought I'd give it a try."

"What person doesn't like soup?" Eddie laughs. It is completely incomprehensible to him. There's nothing better than a nice tomato soup with garlic bread or chicken soup when you're sick.

"If I want to consume hot liquid, I'll drink tea, coffee or hot cocoa but soup? What's the point of eating liquid food? Why can't you just fry or bake all the ingredients? I mean..." she gestures wildly with her hands and almost spills her tea in the process, so Eddie, just in case, takes the cup from her hand and sets it aside.

"Thanks. Why do you have to puree the ingredients beyond recognition? Does the chef want to hide the waste he uses for the soup instead of throwing it away? You know, I think that's the only reason soups exist. Because people can throw away their kitchen scraps and others don't notice what they're eating."

"You think soups are just some kind of garbage to put to good use?" Eddie tries to keep a straight face, but bursts out laughing faster than he would like.

"I'm a healthy person, I can chew. Then why should I drink my food? Explain to me! Food that I can't chew is a drink and not food and it doesn't fill you up or satisfy you." With that she closes the discussion and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

Laughing, Eddie, who has meanwhile gotten a beer from the fridge, slides onto the floor with his back pressed against the kitchen cupboard, y/n does the same. She presses her toes against his and seems to stare into the void, lost in thought. His laughter stops after a moment and he looks at her worried. The argument with her parents is standing in the room the whole time like a purple moose in a green tutu, but nobody has dared to talk about it so far. But now this moose had pushed itself right into their line of sight and there was no getting around it anymore.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he asks cautiously after the pressure of her foot against his has eased. It takes her a moment before she answers.

"It was about university and stuff." she finally begins. Her voice sounds fragile and hurt, unlike usual when she is full of self-confidence and power.

"And I said I'd like to take a year off after I graduate, travel, see the world, relax, find myself. And my dad made a silly joke that I was only going to school, why bother recovering from anything? I would have enough time after school to find myself." A fake and rather disparaging laugh escapes her lips.

"And then I told them everything. Well, I really mean everything. How burned out I feel, how many times I wish I could just disappear, to stop existing. How I look at myself in the mirror some days and the reflection doesn't bother me. It feels like my body isn't my body. I told them about my nightmares, my anxiety, everything, showed them my arms." Tears burn her eyes and blur her mind. She pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around her legs. Lost in thought, she begins rubbing her arms, feeling every little bump she's caused over the past few years beneath her touch. At first it's just a tear that slides down her cheek, leaving a burning sensation. Only a little later, others follow, leaving a damp trail on her dry skin.

"My father didn't take me seriously. Nobody took me seriously." She lifts her eyes and looks at Eddie. "How can you as a parent be so cold and not care when your child tells you they want to fucking die?!" She exhales a long and shaky "Oh God" while accepting the handkerchief

Eddie hands her.

He moves away from his wall and now sits cross-legged in front of Y/n. With trembling hands she wipes the tears from her face, lays her head against the closet door she is leaning against and looks up.

"My mother said I was possessed by the devil and needed to be taken to an exorcist." She snorts and shakes her head, still incredulous at her devout mother's reaction. Religion is a concept that Y/n could never understand, but at least now she saw something bad in religion.

"Yeah, of course. Everyone knows that the devil is a straight A student and spends his free time at charity events and collecting donations for the homeless." He looks at her mock blankly, his voice dripping with sarcasm. When Y/n lowers her gaze again and looks into Eddie's dark brown eyes, she can't stop laughing and Eddie's lips stretch into a wide grin. Mostly because he's proud of himself for making her laugh and glad to see her laugh.

"Don't listen to your parents, really. They're idiots in case you haven't noticed yet."

He strokes her arm in a soothing manner and gives her a confident smile.

"You know I'm always there for you. And it won't be long until you graduate and you can finally get out of this fucking hellhole and explore the world. But don't forget to send me postcards from where you are." His hand has moved to hers and gives her a gentle squeeze.

"I swear to you, you will conquer the world and if everyone knew you like I do, the world would be your oyster. You are such a wonderful person who deserves something so much better than that. And I would give anything I have to make you feel like that every day. You're the most important thing in my life and nothing hurts more than seeing you like that, Y/n." He wipes a last tear from her cheek with his thumb and carefully memorizes her facial features, her puffy eyes, her quivering lips. He tilts his head and a dreamy smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

"You are the most beautiful, funniest, smartest, most selfless, kindest and most wonderful girl in the world and I am the luckiest guy to have you in my life." His smile grows into a laugh, he looks into his lap and shakes his head as if trying to get rid of a thought. "And by God, even if you drive me crazy sometimes..." he looks at her again and his gaze almost pierces her, with a shake of his head he banishes the curls that have fallen in his face. "...every day I can't see you laugh is a day wasted. It's the most beautiful sound in this fucking world. And I'm so, so crazy about you that sometimes it physically hurts."

A laugh escapes her too. But before she can answer him, thank him for the kind words and tell him how crazy about him she is, they hear a suspicious and dangerous crackle. The water boils and bubbles out of the stovetop.

They both jump up. Y/n jumps to the pot, yanks the lid up while Eddie grabs the hot pot with oven mitts and pulls it off the stove. She pierces the vegetables with a fork and nods meaningfully.

"And?" asks Eddie.

"Yup, the vegetables are done." she replies, putting down the fork and turning off the stove.

"Would you like me to help you?"

Y/n takes a deep breath, just smiles exaggeratedly wide and points to where Eddie was sitting while she was making the soup. She wipes the remains of the tears from her face one last time and takes a deep breath. In search of something to puree, she opens all the cupboards, but to no avail.

"Where the hell..." she mutters to herself as Eddie stretches out and leans over the kitchen counter and watches her.

"Are you looking for something specific?"

"Yes, I'm looking -" she falters and freezes in position. Eddie frowns and looks at her confused for a moment.

"Shit. What's that called?" She gestures with her hands and makes a noise, leading Eddie to the assumption she might mean a hand blender.

"Do you mean a hand blender?"

"Yes! Yes, exactly that!" When she'd realized it, she widens her eyes and snaps her fingers in his direction. How could such a simple word escape her?

"Do you have something like that?" she finally asks, following Eddie's index finger with her gaze. There is a hand blender on top of the cupboard. And to Y/n's disappointment, that blender is out of her reach. But that has never stopped her from trying anything.

First she tries to get to the kitchen appliance by stretching. Without success. Then she climbs onto the narrow kitchen counter, kneels down and stretches, but that too is without success. She's only missing two or three centimeters.

She can hear Eddie stifling a giggle as she tries to grab that blender without his help. But after a few moments she has to admit to herself that she can't do it alone. She sighs in defeat and wants to slide off the kitchen counter onto the floor, turn to Eddie and politely ask him to help her. What she doesn't realize is that Eddie is already behind her. He seems to have recognized her intention before her and now puts his hands on her waist to help her carefully on the ground. The touch startles her at first. But his hands feel so warm and soft through the fabric of her shirt that she curses the butterflies in her stomach that suddenly appear. An unfamiliar, but nice-to-the-touch goosebumps crawls over her body as she stands so close in front of him. As she turns to face him, his hands remain on her waist. It feels like he's never done anything else, like his hands just belong there. And as his words about how crazy he was for her echo through her head, she feels the heat rush into her cheeks.

"Do you need help?" he asks with a teasing grin. The triumph is written all over his face and doesn't help much against the storm of butterflies in her stomach. She swallows the lump that has formed in her throat and nods cautiously.

He pushes her aside a little bit, now climbs onto the work surface himself and stretches to effortlessly get the hand blender from the cupboard. As he stretches, she catches a glimpse of his stomach and back as his shirt rises, and it's only when he bounces back to the ground that she realizes she's forgotten to breathe.

"Here miss-I-don't-need-help-I-can-do-everything-by-myself." How she would love to kiss that smug grin off his lips. Their faces are only millimeters apart, they can feel each other's breath on their cheeks and both want a kiss, a kiss that is long overdue. Y/n's breathing is shaky as Eddie leans forward, his gaze lost in her y/e/c irises, he sets the blender aside and leans one hand on the counter while his other hand gently wanders backs at her waist.

She can feel his breath on her lips and would bet her life that he could hear her heartbeat. But before his lips can rest on hers and move together in a silent rhythm as if they belong to each other, the phone rings.

Eddie draws in a sharp breath through his slightly parted lips, tilts his head back in annoyance and lets out a frustrated noise.

It rings a second time as he picks up the phone and answers with a rather passive-aggressive "yes."

"Hey Eddie, sorry for calling you so late. But I think I left my homework in the hellfire room." When Eddie hears Dustin's voice on the other end, he closes his eyes and massages the bridge of his nose. He exhales calmly to banish his displeasure.

"Are you fucking serious, Henderson?" he just replies and throws Y/n a look over his shoulder. She is now busy pureeing the vegetables and refining them with cream and spices.

"Fine, I'll pick you up right away and we'll get your stuff." He interrupts Dustin as he starts mumbling something.

"Thanks Eddie, really, you're my savior!" If only he knew how badly Eddie would want to kill him right now.

"I'll be at your house, Henderson, give me ten minutes. Wait for me outside." Y/n hears who Eddie was on the phone with and turns to him. She pointed to the phone, then to the pot of soup, which was far too full for them to finish alone, even with Wayne's help. Eddie takes a deep breath and before Dustin can hang up, he says, "Hey, Henderson? Have you eaten yet? Y/n made... y/n made soup. She asked if you'd like something to eat, too." And as much as he hoped for a "No thanks," he was disappointed when the actual response was "Of course, thanks. Never thought she's a soup person"

Instead of answering Dustin's question, Eddie hangs up and looks at Y/n, knitting his brows and making a whining sound.

"I'll kill this little curly haired idiot someday." he explains as he pulls Y/n into a tight hug and buries his face in her hair.

She can't help but giggle and rub his back.

"If you like, I can stay tonight. My parents think I'm the devil anyway." She winks at him as he moves away from her, brushing some of his dark curls off his face. His eyes light up and bore into hers.

"You don't know how much I love that idea" He gives her a quick kiss on the forehead before he slips into his shoes and, heart beating loudly, sets off to get Dustin and drive him back to school.

#eddie stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things fic #eddie munson x y/n #eddie x y/n #eddie x you

[thelovetheystole]

For those who took the time to read the little fic I posted earlier this week, thank you 💙

This is the last part, from Robert's perspective, but actually still very Aaron focused, as Robert always is. There is no plot per se, basically just Robert's thoughts.

Again, I don't really post fics, this is just something I wrote in my notes after Liv's death aftermath aired, when I had a lot of feelings about stuff, especially Chas' behavior.

I wasn't sure which tw to put in the tags for this, so I chose more over less, just in case.

(Part 1 in link below)

‐---------‐----------------

Part 2 - Robert

Robert isn't stupid, he knows the only reason Aaron lets him even be near him is because Liv's dead, and he is beside himself with grief and lonliness. If that wasn't the case, they would be arguing right now, and placing blame. There would probably be shouting and definitely doors slamming.

But Aaron is more broken now than Robert can ever remember seeing him, and that's saying a lot. He's watched Aaron confess his deepest secret, first to him only and then to a courtroom of strangers, he's seen him trapped in a sinking car, stoned off his head in a prison visiting room. Robert's had to look him in the eye and tell him he'd betrayed him the one way Aaron feared the most. And that's not even all of it, after all that he's watched Aaron let Seb go, and then Robert went and left him too, by getting locked up.

Yeah, Aaron's been broken, but this is more. He wouldn't want Robert here, touching him, holding him, otherwise. He knows this, because he knows Aaron. And because Robert sent him divorce papers in the post like a coward, even though he did it with good intentions. But he'll take it, if it means he can be there for him, make things even a little better.

Robert has learnt in fragments from Aaron what Chas has done, and he wants to throttle her with his bare hands. She wanted to send Aaron away, back to some bloke in Italy, on the day he buried Liv. Just to keep her sordid secret affair hidden from Paddy a little while longer.

Robert knows he isn't in a position to judge her, he's done similar things, probably much worse. The thing is though, she has judged him so harshly over the years, called him scum and far more explicit names, waved her sharp-nailed finger at him to warn him off, slapped him across the face, looked down on him, used other men to try and replace him in Aaron's heart. All in the name of protecting her son, her baby.

Now, that's out the window, because some wooden poser of a bloke has flattered her, sold her a romantic fantasy, made her believe she deserves someone better than Paddy. Now suddenly, it's Aaron who? Again, because she has form.

Her son has a long, painful history of self-harm, she knows this. He's tried to take his life once, contemplated it probably a hundred more times. He's battled with depression, anxiety, substance abuse, self loathing, panic attacks, anger issues, you name it. Yet, she would rather send him off on his own to a man she has never met, than have him stay here and risk her secret coming out. Even if that scenario meant she could watch over her child and help him cope, so he doesn't relapse.

Before Robert got sent down, Chas made a promise to him that she would look after Aaron. How could she promise that and then rely on a boyfriend Aaron has known for two minutes, in another country, to be able to take care of him?

Robert loves Aaron more than he's ever loved anyone, but bless him, he can be hard work to get a handle on. It's taken Robert years to read Aaron like he can now, to know what he needs. When to push for more, when to let him be. Because Aaron doesn't just volonteer to talk about stuff. He grunts, he hides, bottles things up, punishes himself and then he explodes on you. When they were only new, after Gordon was sent down, Robert can admit he failed plenty at being a supportive partner. And later too, but they learned how to be better together.

Aaron felt like a freaking science once, and Robert knows what every look, every frown, every shrug of the shoulders mean, now. But it took time and the kind of dedication that only comes from loving someone deeply. This Marco, however infatuated, he would've only known Aaron skin deep. Seeing his scars and understanding them are two very different things. It could have ended in disaster, Robert knows this. Chas should know this.

Robert is broken too at this point, if he wasn't before. There's no denying that. Prison breaks everyone eventually. The more time you serve, the worse off you are. He can't just shake off these four years like they were nothing, they're forever etched in the healed fractures of his bones and the scars on his skin. He's seen things in there he can never unsee, heard screams that still haunt him at night. Done some things to, in the name of survival.

But Robert has always been his best self when he's dedicated himself to being there for Aaron. Aaron redeemed him, and Robert will never forget that. That being said, he knows he can't be strong all the time. He remembers all too well what happened the last times he tried. But for Aaron, he'll keep trying anyway, knows (hopes) that when Aaron is stronger, he'll return the favor.

#robron fan fic #robron fic #tw: self harm #tw: grief #tw: suicide #tw: death

[wooahaes]

dino soulmate au !! i don't have a specific trope in mind, but im curious to see which one you think fits him best :D

hii <3 hmm... technically dino was where i left off on my soulmate series (which is currently paused until i finish either sweet night (more likely) or under the sun (unlikely lol), then i'll try to finish out those fics before i start a new series), so i'll avoid what i've got planned for him there

(death tw, will tag the post w this as well)

ill play around w a lil bit of angst. reader has lost the soulmate that they were dating ever since they met in high school bc (insert cause of death here). not even minutes after he's dead, the name lee chan writes itself across the back of their hand. out of resentment for the universe immediately pairing you up right after you lose the love of your life, you resolve to keep the stupid name covered as much as you can and never meet this lee chan the universe is replacing your soulmate with.

elsewhere, chan realizes that there's a name written up his forearm that he didn't have before. a certain percentage of ppl are born w/o soulmates, and chan always thought he was one of them until now. he probably excitedly shows it off to his friends (only abt half of which have soulmates imo bc i like having a mixed bag there), and they promise to let him know if they happen to run into someone w his own name on them.

enter jeonghan, currently going through practicum to become a licensed therapist. enter, you on a summer day without a bandage on the back of your hand and his friend's name contrasting your skin in neat lettering. also enter the fact that jeonghan can't say/do anything about giving out your information because of violations, so he's stuck trying to figure out how he can lead you or chan to one another.

ultimately, he figures out a way: you mumble one day a week or two later that your favorite coffee shop is closed for renovations because you'd always treat yourself with something sweet from there, jeonghan asks if he can make a suggestion, and he pushes you toward one of chan's favorite places before immediately getting both seungkwan and vernon on the task of getting chan there. you end up sitting in the corner to kinda just people watch and chill post-therapy session and wait on your drink. your name gets called out, and you notice the way another guy's head snaps up immediately. you retreat to your corner with your drink, only to hear the name lee chan read out soon enough and you aren't taking any chances. you get up to leave, and immediately the guy tails you out and asks for you to stop before rolling his jacket sleeve back to reveal where your name is boldly written along his arm.

you tell him you aren't interested. he's immediately heartbroken by that kind of talk, but asks for your number anyway because he'd at least like to be your friend if nothing else. you give it to him after making it clear you aren't looking for a new lover, and then leave.

and idk insert more stuff abt you and chan getting closer until you finally open up and mention tht ur in grief counseling bc of ur soulmate dying and that you'd always hated chan (as a concept--you like him now as a person) because it wasn't even five minutes before his name appeared on you. he apologizes, you tell him not to bc its not his fault, and the two of you agree to take ur friendship slow.

insert chan feeling guilty as he falls for you. insert u feeling guiltier because you fell harder after that and you try to push him away again. fic culminates in you admitting to him or to a friend that you're terrified of losing another soulmate. maybe its w a family member of deceased soulmate who reassures you that he would want you to be happy before asking if it had been you, wouldn't you want him to move on one day? it ends w you crying on them and apologizing because you feel like ur betraying ur first soulmate, but accepting that its okay to move on.

its just a lot of talk abt grief and whatnot lol with a side of chan helping you heal because he wants to be there for you, romantic feelings or not. you confess to him that you've fallen for him and ask to take things slow now and the fic ends off with the two of you going to get coffee together or something

#wooahaes.ask #wooahaes.askgame #sweetteawithpeach #death tw #sorry this one is longer lol im admittedly a sucker for a soulmate au

[argonavis-hcs]

Hii! Can i request bestfriends to lovers headcanons with yuto, wataru and rio? ^^

» a/n: They're fit the category and i enjoyed writing this hehe. Thank you for requesting and enjoy~

» Tags: Yuuto Goryo x gn!reader ; Wataru Matoba x gn!reader ; Rio Kikyo x gn!reader

» TW: none!

If you guys have known each other since high school, then you know what happened between Yuuto and the three current Gyro members. You were there at that point in his life and that's something that he will never forget. He thinks he's forever indebted to you, even

The two of you are basically inseparable. Especially when he's struggling with his uni assignment despite you guys studying two different majors. As long as he has his favorite drink and favorite person, he believe he can go through any hardships!

He's a dork, alright. A dork with so many things on his mind. He's the type to remember the most random thing about you or what you've mentioned but a lot of times not the important ones. Yet you're always patient with him because years of friendship with him made you accept the fact that he's a baby trapped in a big body

You were worried when he told you he wanted to start a band, because a part of you didn't want to see Yuuto repeat the history but at the same time you want to see him fly and reach the stars above. Meanwhile, you were the core motivation for him to go back on his dream. For once, he wanted to do something to make you proud of him. A simple token of gratitude for always being there for him no matter the situation.

The four addition to his band made him realize how important you are to him. Without your to support him all these time, he wouldn't be able to reach where he is right now. And your frequent absence in his life felt like a slam in his face. It's not like you're absent because of any issue between the two of you, it's just that both of your are busy chasing each other's dream to the point where these sacrifices has to be made.

It pains him to see how many time you have to reject his invitation to watch the band live, but all he could do as your best friend is to support whatever decision you make, right?

Oooooh I want Wataru with a best friend that either has the same obsession to sweets as him or someone that's completely the opposite. Like, someone that will drag him by the back of his shirt away from a bakery LOL

Both of you promise to go hang out occasionally to catch up on each other's life no matter how busy you guys are. if Wataru is currently close to where you or vice versa, a hangout between two *cough* best friend *cough* shall be arranged immediately

You're the first person Wataru go to when it comes to checking his new song. Speaking of the lyrics, can you tell that some of the lines are made with you in his mind? No? Hmm, maybe he's not obvious enough

On bad days he'd be cooped up in his room by himself. He'd be spamming you with messages and asking you to call him when you got the time. The days might be rough but at least he got to hear his favorite sound, which is your voice

Imagine if the lyrics he'd written were becoming more and more romantic and Rio was like, "Who are you writing these for?" and then the realization hit him and he went "Ah, that's why you've been writing while being on the phone with someone."

Funny enough, not even Wataru himself realize it. He had thought that it's how best friends are, even if they don't talk everyday doesn't mean the person doesn't go through his mind everyday. Rio's words starting to weigh day by day and Wataru doesn't know what to do with the feeling in his chest. A part of him is afraid to confess because the probability of you leaving him was never 0 but a part of him also wants to take this relationship to another level

What he doesn't realize is how you always compliment the lyrics that were actually directed at you. He thought you were simply criticizing but it's your way of saying "they catch my attention the most, how do you write all of these?" Seriously both of you need to be more direct wit each other. Open your heart a little more, ok?

Aren't you curious on what he writes every time you talk about other guys that has potential to be with you romantically? I hope not. They're all secure at the deepest part of his drawer and hopefully one day he'll the one to win your heart instead.

The king of tease istg. Oh you have difficulty in anything? Here's how it will go. 1. He'll either call you clumsy or cute, it's always one of the two. 2. He'll say: "What will you ever do without me around?" 3. He'll help you. Of course he will, what kind of best friend do you take him for? 4. He'd ended up not helping at all. He did all the work by himself instead which make you feel dumb at times because how else will you be good at those things? 5. If you say anything other than "Thank you" he'll reply with "Do you really need to be good at them when you have me around?"

Both of you might be best friends since early childhood or high school so you already know what he's like before the band came along. You noticed every little change in him but he doesn't ever want to hear it. Kind of unfair since he love to tease but doesn't want to be teased back.

Since the beginning of your friendship Rio would randomly give you something at random times. An apple at P.E class, a bag of candy on weekend, a new pair of cute sock at 3rd period of Monday, you name it. And there's always a paper attached to it with either him bullying you (affectionately) or weird drawings he did on boring classes. The other classmates genuinely thought the two of you were dating that they're surprised they learn the truth.

"You guys should date, then." If you get a dollar for every you hear it, you'd be rich by now.

Fast forward to present time, the teasing never go away it's a huge part of character at this point. But do you want to know what changed? His demeanor when you're introducing him to another one of your guy friends. In his head his existence in your life is equal to all the guys in the world combined so why would you need another guy in your life? Especially one as capable as Rio.

The things he'd do to show his stance to these guys are usually having his arm on your shoulder, carrying your bag even though you're not carrying anything other than that, leaving the group for a moment only to come back with your favorite snack and say "What? Isn't this your favorite?", and more.

One of these days he feel like saying "Remember what those people always tell you about our relationship? I think It's time to give them what they want."

#headcanons #from argonavis #argonavis #argonavis imagines #yuuto goryo x reader #wataru matoba x reader #rio kikyo x reader

[andromedaexists]

Hell Followed With Us || Andrew Joseph White

★★★☆☆ ½

TW: BODY HORROR, TRANSPHOBIA, SACRILEGE, NO REALLY THERE'S A LOT OF BODY HORROR IT'S KINDA GROSS

Let me start off by saying that this book means a lot to someone who means a lot to me. By nature, this means that I have a soft spot for the book.

However, that does not stop me from forming an opinion on it.

Okay so first things first: I read this book in two days. It is a very captivating read. I was very easily sucked into the story and became intruiged by the character.

First one up is the main character: Benji. It is refreshing to see a trans masc main character especially in a horror book. As soon as he showed up in the text i felt protective over him. He is a newly out trans boy that is 16, I've adopted plenty of those in my run as the trans town elder (yes I'm only 23, that's what you get living where I do)

I also really liked that there were other types of gender identities shown. This book is a cesspit of diversity and representation: I love it!

However, there is one character that I have qualms with when it comes to his representation. One of the love interests: Nick. He is an autistic gay man, but as I said to my group chat last night, I just don't like the representation he's giving us.

I say this as an autistic trans gay man: I do not like the way he is portrayed. Autism is a spectrum, everyone reacts to things differently. However, he is written in a way that feels like every bad autistic trope from mass media mushed together. He very much reads the same as that one autistic doctor from the tv show that was always over logical and showed no emotion ever. The Good Doctor, that's what it's called.

Not only that, but he refers to Benji, a newly out trans man who is going through horrific body horror to the point of literally calling himself a monster, as Seraph and uses it/its pronouns for him. After Benji explicitly says he uses he/him. Now, as you all know, I have nothing against using it/its pronouns and will gladly do so, but doing it in this manner is misgendering and dehumanizing. There is a difference between wanting to use those pronouns and being called them behind your back after you explicitly state you do not want to be referred to using them.

And this whole this was Nick's redemption arc. His entire redemption arc was about calling Benji 'it' and then saying sorry. Then it's over and never mentioned again. Just like that.

And then, to make things worse, the other love interest (because, yes, this is in fact a love triangle) is Benji's abusive fiance. An abusive fiance that tries to kill him on more than one occasion. So you have to choose between that piece of garbage and someone who doesn't get redeemed.

As y'all can tell, I'm a little incensed at this book. "But Andi," I hear you say, "you gave the book 3.5 stars? It doesn't sound like you enjoyed it that much."

Well here's the thing: I actually really enjoyed it. I loved the story line, I loved the sacrilege and body horror, I loved how tense I was reading the entire story.

I think the writing was clumsy and too fast paced, but the plot line was there. I also loved how visceral the descriptions were. Like, this is Dead Dove: Do Not Eat levels of body horror and viscera.

It was great! I think it should have gone through a few more rounds of drafts and editing before it got published, and someone should have told Andrew that the love interests are both living pieces of human garbage, but all in all it was a good book. Oh, and the dust cover is beautiful.

I won't recommend it to anyone though.

I am planning on writing little things like this every time I read a book just to help me keep track of them. If I don’t write down my opinions and thoughts right away I am liable to forget them. I am hesitant to call these a review because i’m really just not comfy with that lol I will do my best to make sure I appropriately tag and warn about topics. If I miss any please let me know!

#TW: Body Horror #TW: Transphobia #tw: religious themes #bookblr #booklr #andi reads #book review #Hell Followed With Us #trans rights readathon #lgbt literature #queer books