#two trucks my favorite love song/j | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gangrenados · 3 years

Note

omg the alphabet for Dick was so hot 🥵🥵 please do one for Jason?

It took my like a whole week to finish this but it's finally here!! 😭😭

I may warn that this long and of course nsfw 😌

Everything starts below the cut!!

A = Aftercare

He isn't used to the other person staying around after the sex is done, so it's kind of awkward for him to see you lying there when there's nothing else to do.

Jason doesn't know what to say or do at first, but deep inside he admits that it's nice to have you there.

Jason is very sweet and caring during aftercare, part of this fueled by his eternal need to take care of you and show you how good he can be.

He will pepper kisses all over your face as he mumbles how good you have been to him, just to kiss your lips in such way that makes your knees weak.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Jason really likes your butt and he let you know this by either grabbing it or slapping it every chance he gets.

He also likes tights and boobs (big or small he doesn't care)...well to summarize he likes anything he can squeeze.

He hasn't think too much about what he likes about his body, it's always the thoughts about what he doesn't like that takes to most space in his brain. However, if had to choose then it would be his arms because they show how big and muscular he is and after years of being an slim kid, he's really happy with that achievement.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Usually prefers to cum inside of you, it just feels nice and is like a weird connection you both can have for a brief moment. However, he really likes to cum in your chest too.

Also there's something about cumming in your face that makes this guy happy. It's like something inside of him wakes up when he see your face covered in his cum...he's just in awe.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes lingerie, that might not sound really shocking or surprising.

Jason's jaw drops every time he see you wearing a pretty set of lingerie and he has to contain himself any time you dare to match that with one of his leather jackets.

What I'm trying to day here is that he kind of want to try one of those cute lingerie on him, just to see if someone as buff as him can look nice in one those cute lingerie.

Jason hasn't told you this because he's pretty embarrassed with this desire of him, and also he doesn't want you to think of him as less masculine just because he wants to dress up in pretty lingerie for one your hot moments together. Not all the time of course, just when he's feeling exceptional pretty.

It would take a lot of time and trust for Jason to build the confidence to finally confess this to you.

He'll be so blushed his face would look like a tomato and he would even be able to look you in the eye, he's afraid that might laugh.

However, if you do agree you'll signing up to see your boyfriend to look all nice, absolutely cute and of course handsome.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Jason may not be as experienced as Dick, but he has had his one night stands so you can tell he has some knowledge of what to do in sex.

Jason is a quick learner and takes notes on what generally pleases others. However, he feels more comfortable and relaxed exploring with a trusted partner.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Jason likes to see your face when he's fucking you, first of all because you're really beautiful and he's still amazed that someone as pretty as you is dating a guy like him. But the reason behind this is because he wants to know if you're enjoying this, and also it boosts his ego seeing you lose yourself in pleasure because of him.

•Cowgirl is one of his favorites since he's able to enjoy the show and hit deeper.

•It might sound boring, but he's into missionary too. You see, it's easier to set the pace and he gets to be closer with and therefore is amazing, especially for those intimate occasions.

•Speaking of romance? Jason likes having you sat on his lap with your arm around his neck as you ride him and he holds your buttocks. You're so close to each other, he thinks that's romantic.

•Okay but when you're lying on your back with yours knees bent and pressed to your chest or with your heels resting on his shoulders? That's a good one and Jason loves it cuz he gets to hit deeper and also because he gets see his cock going in and out of you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It deepens on his mood, usually he's more lighthearted and romantic about having sex with you. Jason see it as a way to have an intimate moment where you can enjoy each other and have a great time.

In the other hand if he just wants to take out some of his frustration then he’s gonna be rougher, not caring much about anything else than cumming. His thrust are firm and harsh as well as the way he holds you.

Aftercare will be his top priority after taking away all of that extra stamina from his body, Jason needs to let you know how good you have been to him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's pretty lazy when it comes to this kind of stuff, but he's well trimmed down there since it's uncomfortable to go around with a bush between his legs and also he wants to look presentable when the time to do the nasty comes.

He also have chest hair and a fine happy trail that goes from his belly button to his crotch. And yes, everything is as black as his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He doesn't take sex too seriously, yes he thinks this is a special moment for you two, but it's doesn't have to be too sickly cheesy, ya know?

Jason just likes to live in the moment when you finally have the time to fuck. He'll kiss you passionatly as he mumbles sweet yet dirty things about what he's gonna do to you.

Better belive he will laugh if sometime awkard happens before dismissing the inconvenience to get back into bussines.

Of course if it's an especial occasion Jason will do his best to make this more romantic.

Maybe setting the mood with a well done playlist filled with sexy songs, a nice room with dim lights to set the mood and rose petals scattered across the bed with a box in it with a little gift like lingerie...it sounds nice, right?

If not then a bathtub filled with bubbles, a bottles of wine and some scent candles will do the trick.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jason doesn't do it that much since he doesn't have the time for it, besides it's better to get the real thing rather than his hand.

However, when the time shows up is either because he's bored and wants to have some serotonin running on his body or because you two are apart.

Jason is rather quiet when he's getting off, just a few little groans and whimpers are the only thing that anyone can possibly hear since he's very cautious with not getting caught.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

•Sub/Dom: he likes to be the one in charge since it allows him to have control over the situation and show you how good he can be. Although he can be a pretty good sub when you get him to let you be the dom.

•Praise kink: Jason needs to know you're enjoying this and that he makes you feel good, his insecurities tends to strike up in vulnerable situations like sex and it helps him to forget them when you tell him how good he's making you feel.

He will do the same of you without thinking too much about it. Jason wants you to know how good you're being to him.

•Hair pulling: preferably on him when he's going down on you but Jay tends to grab your hair when you're giving him head or when he's hitting it from behind.

•Semi public sex

•Choking: It's a turn on seeing his big hands around your neck and how you trust him enough to do a thing like this.

•Size kink: Jason is a tall guy that's built like a truck, he can easily tower over people and he finds hot seeing how little and vulnerable you look beside him.

It also makes him feel in control.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Jason is not picky about this, as long as you get to do the nasty and you're both okay with it, he's more than fine.

He likes fucking you in semi public areas where he knows it's gonna be hard for you to get caught but there's still that chance left, his bike, your bed, kitchen counters, the shower, his bike, the couch, even you tried it on the stairs one time!

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

It doesn't take much to get Jason riled up, a good trick is wearing nothing but one of his shirts or wearing on sexy lingerie under one of leather jackets. Yeah it's a turn on for him when you wear his clothes.

He also finds really hot when you try to over power him or seeing you kicking some asses.

Also it's weird for him, but for some reason he finds arousing sometimes when you're being gently with him.

You could be cuddling, his head resting on your chest as you caress his scalp and then he pops a boner...maybe it's because he got too relaxed or maybe because he was so blushed that his blood couldn't help but go to his crotch? Jason doesn't know, but it's embarrassing.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Jason hates bondage or being tied up in general. He will refuse to do that kind of things, it makes him remember bad memories and he just feel vulnerable and nervous. Therefore BDSM and rape play is a no for him.

He also doesn't want to inflict you any kind of pain, you see, Jason is terrified of hurting and that you'll hate him because of that.

It would take a lot of coaxing from your part to get Jason to agree into doing something like the above.

Also fucking you in his suit is a no, why? Well his suit has been covered in blood so many times (both from him and unknown people who only God knows where they have been), sweat, dirt, unknown chemicals and sewer water.

Jason thinks is pretty unhygienic, but hey if you really wanna try it doesn't take much to coax him in that one!

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Jason loves to receive, especially after a long night of patrol or when needs to distress, but being honest any time if fine for him.

It's better to take it all with both hands and spit in it to avoid gagging. Also his hands tends to go to your hair and take a fistful of it as your trying to deep throat; he doesn't make you go further whatsoever, it just feels right for him to do it.

Also he have the tendency to brush away some strands of hair gently out of your face as your sucking him off.

One thing that drives him crazy is when you kitten lick his cock and give a kiss to the tip, another thing that he kinda likes having his balls played with.

Do you wanna know how he looks like?? Gotcha!

Ahh that gif is gonna be the end of me 😳

He's a big fan of receiving too, Jason really like to give his partner pleasure and he does his best to make that happen.

He'd be pumping your insides with his fingers as he looks for other areas to pleasure.

if you a gave pussy you better belive that he's really good at eating you out. He'll be knuckle deep as he licks on the clit, sucking on it and even nibbling it to tease you a little bit.

Jason is gentle, he doesn't want to cause you any harm, but damn that doesn't mean he's isn't going to eat you out as if you were his last meal.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Jason tries to be gentle but even then he tends to be on the rough and fast side. His hold on you his firm as he thrust into you, Jason will mumble sweet and dirty things and also will ask you between plants if you're okay since he's worried he might hurt you or make you uncomfortable.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Your relationship is filled with quickies thanks to his busy schedule. So if you got some time to have sex even if it's just 5 minutes, you better belive Jason will take advantage of it.

Jason likes them because he has to and also because he gets to be a little bit rougher with you, but he prefers to have more time with you and enjoy each other with more calm.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Jason is down to experiment as long as it doesn't harm you or bring back bad memories... and if it doesn't gross him out of course. You just need to talk about it.

Jason's life involves risk and one thing he likes is fucking you in semi risky places like empty halls of a library or an empty parking lot when you're going out of a bar, maybe getting handy in a cinema, you get the idea.

The thrill of not knowing if he's gonna get caught send chills down his spine. Of course he's not going to pressure you into doing any of this, Jason doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Jason can last many rounds before getting tired or starting to run out of cum. Just let him drink some water or eat something between breaks and he's all yours again.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

The only toys he has is the big collection of guns and any kind of weapon he can put his hands on. Not that you can use that in the bedroom...the majority of the time.

Leaving the bad jokes aside. Jason has a pair of cuff he got to steal from a cop one time, outside of that he doesn't have any sexual toy lying around.

However, he is down to use some toys on you, and if you ask nicely maybe even on himself too.

(He also owns a fleshlight...it was silly gift for his birthday)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jason can be a tease when he puts his mind into it and usually he is when he's giving you oral. But he's can get impatient really quickly although he likes the build up before having sex.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's more of a grunter, and also he's low-key shy to moan out loud so he'll bite his lip to suppress them. However, the sound that comes out is a needy whine instead.

Speaking of, Jason's whimpers will make your knees buckle...they're glorious.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I can’t take away Jason dressed as a slutty maid out of my mind, sorry.

Jason swallowed thickly at the the feeling of your fingers brushing against his inner thighs, they were going up and down causing his heartbeat to speed up.

"Are you nervous, maid boy?" you purred before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. He shook his head, ready to deny your acusations when you grabbed his clothed member and started to rub it.

"I'm fine." he said breahtlessly, trying to hold back a whine that was stuck on his throat.

"You sure?" You scoffed as you grabbed his hardening dick. "Because it doesn't look like it." his mind was starting to fog and it didn't took much for him to hump your hand to feel more friction."You're acting like a needy slut, but I like it."

It was embarrasing the realived moan that left his lips once you pulled down his boxers and played with his cock. He could feel the coil in his stomach building, the white hotness taking over him as you pumped his dick, smearing the pre cum all over the tip with your thumb.

He was about to cum and was really looking foward it until everything stopped and the absence of your hand made him groan in annoyance.

"Don't be mad." You teased with a fake pout as you pecked his lips. "Get on the bed, baby boy."

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

The big dick energy he poses is real, this man little friend is not so little lol He's thicker than average and a little bit longer, let's say about 18 -19cm aprox.

It's a pretty decent looking cock with a few veins that goes from the base to the top and the head is more reddish than the rest. Also it's the same shade as his body, well in fact is a little bit darker but it's hard to tell the difference.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is pretty high as well as his stamina so he's down to fuck any time, but if you don't want to do it he will back off and move to other business.

Also there are moments when he's not in the mood not matter how much you want him. It usually happens when he's reading a really good book or when a case is consuming all of his time.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

In regular basis it's hard for Jason to fall asleep and this doesn't make any difference. He just doesn't like the whole process of sleeping since it's like to being dead and that terrifies him.

So he will stay up even after you have fall asleep.

It's comfortable having you there where he can stroke your hair and feel how light his chest feels, if he's lucky enough he will fall asleep shortly after you.

Tag list @bathroom-sand @aterriblelangblr @simpery @jyarumu0619 @kellieriddle96 @adarksoul098 @rosethegothamhistorynerd @duckmylife18 @panic-attheplace @malfoys-demigod @darkraven1983 @magicisabluewish @hamdehlesmis @lucy-roo @lovelyartemisa @missmaskedwriter @c0-77 @ginevraxrogers @imagines-fluff-yandere-smut @shadygoateeprincess @nervousfandom @ghost-bitch @silverw19 @thegirlwholovesbooksblog @hecatemacbeth7 @unknowntoanyone @mistalli @screechingghostbananafarm @waroncheer @lady-stirling @ghostly-ginger @greeknerd007 @la-femme-lupita @jasonsballsack @violettessuniverse @wondergal23 @dreamxcollide @thirstiestpotato @magicalbeanie @dreamingforthosewholost @letlly

#smutty #jason todd smut #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #Jason Todd #dc imagine #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood imagine

443 notes · View notes

user21340 · 3 years

Text

the world in her arms

(i don’t own this gif or characters used in this fic)

pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader

summary: you and natasha have always had quite a flirty and sarcastic relationship. both of you develop feelings for one another but you both are clueless to what the other feels until nat gets jealous and says something hurtful to you. will you make up (or out)?

warnings: minor angst, fluff, swearing, and a mention of death.

word count: 2.1k

a/n: omg thank you so much for 57 followers love you all 💕. sorry for the lack of content i didn’t know what to write and had almost no new ideas. also i’m a youngin and worked my first 8 hr day yesterday so your girl was exhausted and i have finals coming up soon. k thank you for coming to my ted talk, enjoy!

also this song doesn’t relate to the story at all but it’s underrated imo and also sorry for the weird pov changes throughout the story.

“Hey y/l/n! Where are you headed?” Natasha yells from the kitchen while I’m standing in the living room on our shared floor.

“Wouldn’t you like to know Nat.” I say with a smirk.

“Yeah matter of fact I would.” she retorts.

“Chill, I’m just headed to train some recruits with Clint. But don’t miss me too much, I'll be back in a few hours, Natty.” You blow a kiss her way, and she just rolls her eyes partially from the kiss and the use of her nickname but you see a faint pink tint sitting atop of her cheeks before she turns away.

I’ve been training these recruits with Clint for a couple hours and my session is nearing an end. Something I’ve picked up on today is how touchy and how dumb these recruits are acting just for me to correct their form. I don’t have time for this shit I think as this girl has me correct her jab form for what has to be the fifth time this hour.

Non readers pov

Natasha actually does start to miss you because of how bored she is due to the larger training room being occupied for these recruits. She heads down to see if you are wrapping up yet and see if you’d like to grab dinner with her somewhere. She arrives at the training room and heads to the back room where there is a large one way mirror. Natasha, having nothing better to do, watches Clint and yourself interact with these seemingly clueless recruits.

Minutes pass and Natasha honestly likes seeing your frustration every time a recruit asks you a stupid question or something you’d already answered for the hundredth time this session. That is until she sees this handsy recruit keep asking you to correct your form which she sees you fake a smile at and happily correct it. As if Natasha isn’t jealous already she sees you release a genuine large laugh at something a recruit says. Not being able to withstand witnessing anymore of this behavior from you directed towards anyone else except her. Natasha then storms off into the living room.

Readers pov

I was nearing the end of this session when a recruit comes up behind me and asks, “Soooo, is it true that you and Clint are like a thing?” he asks with no trace of humor or sarcasm on his face. I just bust out laughing because one, everyone or at least almost everyone who knows about The Avengers knows that I’m 100% only interested in women and two, CLINT? I mean he is a great guy and all but I’ll never forget the time I went into a diner to have breakfast with him and the waitress assumed he was my grandfather.

twenty long minutes later...

The living room is lively and everyone seems to strike up a conversation with one another. I decide to strike up a conversation with Natasha who is weirdly acting cold all of a sudden.

“Oh my god! You know what I just remembered the other day? My mom used to-“

“Shut up, y/n/n. I don’t care and I don’t think anyone does at the moment.” she exclaims with a small smirk thinking you’ll detect her harsh-morbid sarcasm.

“Oh.” you choke out, “It’s getting pretty late I-I better head to bed” my voice cracks as I mutter a small, ‘asshole’ agony laced in my voice blinking the hot tears away. I start walking towards my room but it slowly turns into a jog, then sprint. Anything to get to my room and release my sadness.

Non readers pov

The room is frozen. Everyone is staring at Natasha.

“I care.” Wanda states heading to your room because she knows you shouldn’t be alone right now.

“Jesus Nat, that was awful. You know you’ve fucked you when even I say it’s bad. Poor girl’s mom passed when she was around 10.” Tony deadpans.

“Oh my god, what have I done?” Nat says burying her head into her hands.

“I’m not too sure how you’re gonna get out of this one Nat, but you’ve gotta fix this.” Sam says.

Wanda reaches your room and hears loud yet muffled sobs while standing in the hallway. She can feel your grief rippling through her body. The only heartache she can relate to is the moment she lost Pietro which is more than an average person should feel. She knocks on the door softly yet hard enough to alert you of her presence.

Readers pov

I hear three soft knocks on the door. I quickly silence my cries and assume it is Nat. I then clear my throat as the knocking continues and muster up enough energy to speak,

“Go away” into my pillow loudly. The knocking stops but I don’t hear anyone walk away just yet.

“Y/n/n, it’s Wanda. Can you let me in please, so we can talk?” she asks, I stand up while groaning and walk towards the door. I unlock it and open it just a crack to make sure she is alone and not with a certain someone. It is pretty short-lived as Wanda pushes the door open the rest of the way.

“Oh hon, I’m sorry.” She says as she wraps me into a tight hug after closing the door behind her. I crumble into her embrace as she rubs small circles on my back. Wanda has always been such a calming figure in my life since I met her, a major part being that she can feel almost all of my anxieties that try to drown me throughout a day. She also knows how it feels to be alone which allows her to relate to my feelings, so she knows just how much missing someone who is gone for eternity hurts.

We hug for what feels like minutes but when I take a quick glance outside my window it is dark out.

“Is it true?” I rasp.

“What?” she counters.

“Y’know that no one cares. All I wanted to do was share a memory that I remembered of myself with my mom and as you know it isn’t too often that I remember these types of things and when I do I love sharing them, so she won’t ever be forgotten. It just hurts so much to be shut down talking about something you truly care about by someone you care about.” I explain while Wanda looks at me with the softest eyes I’ve ever seen while nodding her head slightly.

“Now that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I care and everyone in this compound cares about what you have to say as well as what you are feeling. You know how Natasha can be sometimes with the insensitive comments she makes before realizing what she’s doing.”

“I know but that doesn’t give her the right to j-just say stuff like that. I get how full our relationship is with banter and sarcastic comments but I really thought she was starting to like me.” I frown as Wanda just nods. That’s when exhaustion hits me like a truck.

“Wands, before I ask you this just know you can decline.” I give her a minute to protest, but she says nothing. ” Can you sleep with me?” Wanda’s eyes widen,

”Y/n/n I don’t think that is a good id-“ I realize what I just said and cut her off before things get even more uncomfortable. “Nonono, Wanda, like lay down with me not any of that gross stuff. Ew.” Wanda’s features fill with relief, and she chuckles at my childish comment about sex.

“Of course I will! You just may want to word it a little different next time.” she chuckles as you hide your face with embarrassment. We both get settled on the bed and I feel her two arms pull me towards her and I snuggle closer.

Non readers pov

Wanda slowly gets out of bed after she is sure you are fast asleep and sets off to find Nat. When she does she sees that Nat had barely moved from where she last saw her still with her face in her hands.

“Nat. I know you think you really screwed up, which you did, but it’s y/n/n. You can’t go on without telling her how you feel about her.”

“Wanda, you can’t just look in my mind! We’ve talked about this!”

“Romanoff you know I’m one to keep my promises, so I’d never look without your permission. Maybe if you turned down the volume of your thoughts a few decibels I wouldn’t have heard anything. Also, are you ready that oblivious to the fact the whole team knows you two are like little lovesick puppies for one another when you two aren’t attached by the hip.” she explains, “Now, stop moping around and apologize at least.”

“You’re right, Wands, wish me luck. I hope she can forgive me.”

Natasha gets up and races towards your room. She didn’t want to wait so long to talk to you and apologize, but she thought you wouldn’t want to speak to her after what she’d said.

Similarly, to Wanda’s entrance, Natasha softly knocks on your door enough to wake you even out of your semi-deep sleep.

Readers pov

I jump at the knocks on the door and am confused to see Wanda is no longer beside me.

“Wanda you don’t have to knock, you know that.” I sigh out.

“It isn’t Wanda.” a voice you are able to recognize as Nat sheepishly speaks.

“Oh, what do you need?” I ask, all the heartbreak and ache coming back when I hear the voice I’m usually excited to listen to, as if her speech is my favorite song.

“Can we talk? I need to apologize.”

“Sure,” I softly reply.

Non readers pov

Nat opens the door once she has your permission and sees your usual strong, confident frame look small and fragile. Her heart breaks at the sight of you so broken and in pain because of her own actions. Not to mention your tear stained cheeks when you look towards her. It is silent for a minute or so before you throw your head back onto your pillow staring at the ceiling. This awakens something in Natasha for an unknown reason.

Readers pov

“Y/n, I am so sorry. I know that sorry doesn’t cut it for the amount of hurt I’ve caused you all because I was jealous but I hope we can rebuild what we had but it totally is okay if you don’t want to even though I would love another chance with yo-“

“Nat, calm down. I’m not going to sit here and say I’m fine with what you said because truth be told I love sharing memories of my family when I remember them with you. Not only because I trust you but because I think I care for you and love you more than friends should. I just hope what you said is meaningless or else that is when we can’t rebuild what we had.”

“No y/n/n, I didn’t mean any of it. It was just in the heat of the moment because I saw you laughing at something a recruit said when I was going to ask you if you wanted to go get dinner with me. So, I stormed off like a child and said hurtful things to mask my selfishness because I want you to be mine and mine only.”

“Oh my god Nat. You can’t be serious, I was laughing at something a recruit said because he assumed Clint and I were going out.” Nat bursts out laughing.

“See? Anyone who was told that who knew me would just die of laughter on the spot.” I say as I glance her way while patting the place beside me on my bed. She accepts.

“So you actually like me?” you hopefully ask.

“Possibly depending on if those feelings are reciprocated.”

“They are.” I say.

“Good. Can I also say how sorry I am for saying that to-“ I cut her off but placing a quick peck to her soft lips.

“Uh, uh, uh” I tut, “I don’t want to hear any more apologies come out of that mouth. Could you just hold me?” Natasha is still dumbfounded by the little kiss.

“Of course.” Nat complies pressing your back to her front as she wraps her long toned arms around your frame. I hum at the contact.

At this moment Nat realizes there is no place she’d rather be as she feels like she has the world in her arms.

#natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #Spotify

307 notes · View notes

theright-sideofme · 3 years

Text

Feeling. J. Wooyoung

Wooyoung x fem!reader College au!, Soulmate au! WC: 4.9k Summary: You were one of the few who actually had a soulmate, shame you though the whole idea of love was artificial. Warnings: mentions of panic attack, language,

*12 years ago*

“Y/n got her soulmate mark!” Yeosang, your best friend shouted to the rest of the class a few seconds after the heart shaped scar bloomed on your skin; a moment you would never forget. The whole class ran over to you, shoving one another to see the mark that had just appeared on your skin. You were the first kid in your class to get a soulmate mark, so to say everyone was excited was an understatement.

“A heart? What’s a heart mean?” asked Mingi, another boy in your class. “Love” Yeosang said in a ‘duh’ tone that made you giggle. “Actually, it means Y/n will be able to feel what her soulmate feels, and they’ll be able to feel what she feels.” Your teacher explained, earning a chorus of ‘oh’s’ from you and your classmates. After everyone got a look at your mark your teacher was quick to get everyone back in their seats to resume class. You looked down at your wrist, a smile coming to your face as your heart swelled, “I have a soulmate” you whispered happily to yourself.

*Present*

You let out a sigh as you quickly cover up your soulmate mark with multiple bracelets, not wanting to look at it any longer. The day you found out you were one of the few who had a soulmate, you couldn’t have been more happy, but as you grew up, you realized your soulmate mark came with the watching eyes of everyone who saw it.

Soulmates were a bit of a rare occurrence, so when people saw anyone with a soulmate mark it grabbed their attention. Whether people were jealous or just curious about the phenomenon, everyone you had ever met only care about the stupid mark on your wrist. The only people who didn’t care were your best friends, Yeosang and Mingi. They both had marks of their own, but unlike you, they didn’t mind the prying eyes, the only thing they cared about was finding their soulmate.

“You can’t hide it forever you know,” Yeosang teased as he walked into you room, not even bothering to knock. “I can try” you huffed back in response. “What happens when you meet your soulmate, are you still gonna hide it” “probably” “dude seriously?”

Normally, when people find their soulmate, they proudly put themselves on display: showing off their mark, being overly affectionate in public, and over all just sucking up any attention they could get. It was disgusting.

“Yeah, seriously,” you stated. “I wouldn’t like that if I was your soulmate, I’d wanna show off our bond.” Yeosang stated, making you roll your eyes. Before you could respond with some witty comeback, a sudden wave of sadness hit you like a truck. Tears welled up in your eyes for god knows what reason and you felt like you had a lump the size of a baseball in your throat, it was awful. “What- whoah, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you upset- no no no don’t cry” Yeosang said frantically as he tried to calm you down. You tried to explain that it wasn’t him, but the only thing that left your mouth was a sob.

“Heyy- What the hell did you do” Mingi said as he walked into your apartment, quickly rushing to your side and pulling you into his arms. “I didn’t do anything-” “of course you did something, it’s you” “Hey-” “shut up, please” you managed to say through sobs.

As much as you hated your soulmate bond, you hated that your soulmate was feeling like this even more. It made you wonder what happened and if they were okay, if someone was with them to help them.

After about five minutes of you sobbing, you finally calmed down enough to explain what happened. “Ah your soulmate bond! I thought you really were upset with me” “good” you sniffled, “maybe this will teach you to stay out of my business” “hmm” Yeosang pretended to be deep in thought before tackling you, “nah I’m good.” “Group hug!” Mingi shouted before pulling both you and Yeosang into his arms.

For the rest of the day you had this lingering sadness and the lump in your throat never went away. You never really gave much thought to your soulmate before, but today you just couldn’t stop your mind from wandering. There was this urge to find them and hold them and reassure them that everything would be okay. You tried pushing those thoughts away, you didn’t even want a soulmate, so why were you so concerned? You tried to convince yourself it was just because you were a nice person, but there was a deeper reason and you could feel it, no matter how hard you tried to deny it.

You now sat at one of your favorite cafes with Mingi and Yeosang. You had went there to study, but no one was studying. Mingi was trying to balance a spoon on his nose, Yeosang was making sure Mingi would fail at that task, and you were recording all of it. Soft giggles left your mouth as Yeosang pushed Mingi for the third time, making the spoon fall to the ground. “Dude, come on-” Mingi pouted, shoving Yeosang back. “-I almost had it!” “Yeah I know, that’s the point” Mingi picked up the spoon from the ground and threw it a Yeosang, hitting him right in the forehead. You let out a loud laugh, all but snorting at the look on Yeosang’s face. The two bickered like two little kids for a while, giving you a front row seat to another one of their entertaining arguments. You were so distracted by your two best friends that you didn’t even realize the lump in your throat was gone.

Wooyoung lied in bed, a small smile on his face as he felt the urge to laugh. His soulmate was happy. He had been hurting all day, and he could only imagine what that did to his soulmate, so feeling them feel so care free- it made him happy. All Wooyoung ever wanted for his soulmate was for them to be happy, and he couldn’t stand when he would feel you hurt. He found it funny how quickly you would get annoyed or frustrated, he honestly just couldn’t wait to meet you.

After a while of just enjoying feeling okay, he looked over and saw it was actually getting pretty late and he had an 8am class tomorrow. He had already skipped class today, he couldn’t skip tomorrow too. So he quickly got ready for bed, slowly falling asleep with a warm feeling in his chest and a smile on his face.

“Feeling better” San asked as he plopped his stuff down next to Wooyoung. They had both shown up to class early, which was weird for the two who were normally the last ones into their classes. “Yeah, I’ll be good man” “that’s good, because we’re parting tonight.” San excitedly as he took his seat next to Wooyoung. Wooyoung had been down for the past few days and yesterday was the tipping point, San just wanted him to go out and let loose.

Wooyoung let a chuckle slip past his lips as he shook his head. “I don’t feel like going to another frat party-” “well it’s not a frat party because we’re throwing the party- just come on man” San whined as he all but begged his friend. “I’ll think about it.” Wooyoung sighed. He pulled out his laptop and textbook, getting ready for class when he heard the door get busted open. Everyone turned to the door to see two guys scrambling to stand up, and a girl, trying to get away from the two as quick as possible.

“You started it- hey, don’t run away from us!” The taller of the two shouted at the girl as she rushed to get a seat. She pretended like she didn’t hear them and sat two rows in front of San and Wooyoung. The two boys were quick to sit next to her, the shorter boy wrapping his arm around the girl as the taller one sat on her lap. “You two are so embarrassing- get off.” The girl whined as she tried to pry herself away from the two.

Wooyoung watched in amusement, they were definitely going to make this new semester interesting. He seem couldn’t pull his attention away from the trio, more specifically, the girl. She was beautiful, her smile was enchanting and her laughter made his heart swell, she was the type of girl people wrote songs about.

San noticed his friends staring and smiled. Wooyoung had always been faithful to a soulmate he had never met. He never had other relationships and he never gave into crushes he deemed “small” and “silly” all because he had a soulmate. Now here he was, ogling over a girl he didn’t know.

“Why don’t you go talk to her” San suggested, making Wooyoung snap out of his gaze. “Huh, why?” “because you think she’s cute” “I have a soulmate” “and you're not gonna know how to treat them if you’ve never been in a relationship” “then I learn with them” “what makes you think your soulmate's never dated anyone before?” Wooyoung had never considered that, but why would his soulmate date someone else if they knew they would end up with him- their soulmate. Wooyoung shook his head, trying to get rid of the jealous feeling that rose in his chest. He had no right to be jealous; he tried to reason to himself, but he couldn’t help it.

San saw him overthinking and sighed, “look, you’re just gonna have a nice friendly conversation with her, you’ll be fine.” Wooyoung thought for a moment, and San was right, he was just going to talk to her, nothing else. “Fine.”

After class you, Mingi, and Yeosang gathered your things and got ready to leave. “Be honest, the professor was totally checking me out, right?” You froze, giving Mingi an incredulous look before remembering, “It’s Mingi.” So with a small giggle you nodded, deciding to entertain his delusions. “Yeah Min, She was totally checking you” “I sense sarcasm; I will ignore.” Both you and Yeosang laughed as you continued to pack up, shaking your head at you crazy friend.

“Uh hey” the three of you snapped your heads up and saw two rather attractive guys standing in front of you. One had pink hair and cat like eyes that would probably be scary if he wasn't smiling. The other guy- he was breathtaking. He had jet black hair and the most enchanting eyes- whoa. “Um, hi” you replied, silently wondering if your heart speeding up was you or your soulmate.

“We’re throwing a party tonight and you guys seem… fun, so we were wondering if you wanted to come?” The one with black hair asked as he shot you a smile. Okay so the heart thing was definitely you, got it. You took a deep breath and looked back at your friends, who were already looking at you with puppy dog eyes. They knew you didn’t like parties, but they loved parties, and loved to make new friends. Mingi even grabbed onto your hand like a toddler and pouted out his lip. Letting out a sigh, you turned back to the two boys and nodded, “we’ll be there-” “yes!” The two boys behind you cheered, making you try to hold in a laugh, “um, I can give you my number and you could text me the address?” “yeah, sounds good.” The two of you quickly exchanged numbers and then the five of your exited the class before parting ways.

“They were cute” Mingi sighs as he looks dreamily into the distance. “Yeah, and one of them was totally checking out Y/n” “Ha, I beg your pardon?” Yeosang smirks as he pulls you in closer. “Come on Y/n, don’t tell me you're blind? The dude you gave your number to was totally checking you out” “well it doesn’t matter” you say simply, trying to ignore the feeling of heat rising to your cheeks. Was he really checking you out?

“You know, for someone who rejects the idea of her soulmate so much, you’ve been awfully loyal to them.” Yeosang points out, “huh?” “You’ve never been in a relationship, you never entertained anyone who had romantic feelings for you, hell you even stepped on Nicks foot when he asked you out” “yeah but Nick was a dick” Mingi interjected.

Okay, so maybe it was true you’ve never tried to pursue a romantic relationship with anyone, but you didn’t think that had anything to do with your soulmate. You had rejected the idea of love a long time ago. Nowadays, a relationship was another accessory everyone wanted to show off, and you didn’t want to feel like a human handbag. People who found their soulmates often just assumed they would work out just because they were soulmates, they didn’t try to make the whole process of falling in love special, they just flaunted their soulmate marks and relationships. You didn’t want to end up like that, ever.

The party had been going on for about an hour in Wooyoung, San, Jongho, and Yunho’s shared apartment and was now filled with people, most of which Wooyoung didn’t even know. Sure, Wooyoung was a social butterfly and had probably talked to almost everyone there, but that didn’t mean he knew them or even their names. Wooyoung lets out a sigh, leaning up against the wall as he sips his drink quietly. The only person Wooyoung actually wanted to see right now was you, but you were nowhere to be found.

“Hey, this is your party, right?” Some girl asks as she comes up to Wooyoung. “My roommates party, but yeah sure” “well it’s really great” she said cheerily as she looks up at him with a bright smile. Wooyoung nods, truly uninterested in what the girl had to say. “Mhm, it’s super” the girl giggles, leaning closer to Wooyoung who doesn’t even spare her a glance. “You seem to be the only one not having fun.” She says with a pout, and Wooyoung is about ready to just start ignoring her, but then he sees you walk in the room with your friends. He felt relief and excitement wash over him when his eyes landed on you “Excuse me.” Was all Wooyoung said to the girl as he quickly made his way over to you.

“You made it” Wooyoung cheers as he approaches the three of you. You smile and nod, looking around the crowded apartment for a brief moment, how do so many people fit in this small ass place, you wonder. Yeosang places a hand on your shoulder before telling you he’s gonna go get you guys some drinks and you nod. Wooyoung directs him to the kitchen and he ends up taking Mingi with him, leaving you and Wooyoung alone, well as alone as you can be in a crowded room.

“I didn’t think you’d come” “I thought about it, trust me” you only half joked, parties really weren’t your thing. “Well I’m glad you did, my night just got a whole lot better” he said as he gave you a sweet smile. You could’ve swore your heart skipped a beat, your eyes widening slightly at his comment. Wow this boy was smooth. “I’m sure your night was just fine without me” you teased as you tried to play off your mini panic. “Sure, it was fine, but now it’s better.” You just started at him, trying to push your butterflies deep, deep down. What the heck was up with this guy and why were you so affected by him?

Wooyoung smiled at your reaction, trying to push his own butterflies to the side, but he really couldn’t, not when you were staring at him all cutely. He had to fight back the urge to pinch your cheeks, crossing his arms to help him out a bit. He was just as confused as you were, he had never felt so… interested by anyone like this before, it made his heart pound in his chest.

You quickly averted your gaze to try and stop the heat spreading to your cheeks, and that’s when you noticed your two friends had abandoned you for some guys from your psychology class, Hongjoong and Seonghwa you think their names are. “Well that’s rude” “you mumbled under your breath, and Wooyoung heard you, following your gaze before laughing. “Come on, let’s get you a drink,” he said. He placed his hand on the small of your back and you quickly jumped away, feeling like you had been shocked.

The two of you stared at each other. Did he feel it too? Wooyoung, out of curiosity, looked down at your wrist, only to see it covered with a copious amount of bracelets. You too, looked at his wrist and you felt the urge to vomit when you saw the same little heart scar that you had stared at every day since you were nine on his wrist. It had to be a coincidence, right? It didn’t matter, you suddenly felt hot, like someone had set you on fire and your breathing became uneven and heavy, you had to get out of there. Quickly turning on your heels, you rushed out of the apartment, rushing down the stairs to get as far away as you could.

Wooyoung was hot on your heels though, following behind you as soon as you left. “Y/n, Y/n slow down” Wooyoung called after you. The look on your face before you ran out had him so worried. Your eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape as your breathing started to pick up, he just wanted to know you were okay.

After running for a while, the thoughts in your head running rampant, you became light headed. You could barely stand up straight anymore, scraping both your palms and knees as you fell to the sidewalk. Wooyoung felt his heart drop when you fell and rushed to your side as quickly as he could. “Hey Y/n, you okay, just breath. In and out like this, can you do that?” “N-no- I- too much” “Y/n, hey Y/n look at me.” Wooyoung cupped your face, forcing you to look at him as he helped you calm down.

He knew then that you were his soulmate, because he could feel all of it, the light headedness, the heart racing, the fear that had built up in the pit of his stomach, he knew. So once you were calm and in his arms, he let out a shaky sigh, holding you a bit tighter as he looked down at you. He had dreamed about meeting his soulmate for so long, never did he imagine that his soulmate would get a panic attack upon finding out. All he wanted was for you to feel safe and happy around him, not scared and vulnerable.

The two of you sat there in silence on the side of the sidewalk for about 30 minutes, he still held you in his arms and you allowed him, feeling an odd sense of comfort from his hold. The two of you would get strange looks from passerbyers but you didn’t care, not right now.

“Thank you” were the first words out of your mouth as you pulled away to look at him. Wooyoung just nodded, keeping his hand on your back, rubbing it gently as if to reassure you. “I should go home” you said quietly as you stood up, “let me walk you” “you don’t-” “I’m not letting you walk alone at night.” His voice was gentle, but his tone also told you there was no room for argument, he was going to make sure you got home safe.

The entire walk was silent, Wooyoung was trying to figure out what to say to you. How was he meant to start a conversation with his soulmate who seemed so freaked out about having a soulmate? Wooyoung wanted to let out a loud groan of frustration and fall to the floor like a toddler throwing a fit, but he didn’t. Instead he turned to look over at you, letting a small sigh fall from his lips. “Can I ask you something?” Wooyoung finally speaks, making you stop to look at him. You nod, having a feeling you knew what he was going to ask. “Why are you so afraid” “I’m not” he gave you an unamused look before holding up his wrist. “I can feel what you feel, remember?” Damn this stupid fucking bond, you mentally cursed. You know he deserved an answer, he was your soulmate and was equally affected by whatever was going on in your life as you were, but you didn’t know him, you didn’t feel comfortable opening up to him, not yet. “Will you be mad if I tell you I can’t tell you” “can’t or won’t” “won’t” you answered truthfully. Wooyoung let out a soft sigh before shaking his head, “I won’t be mad, if you're not comfortable I’m not going to push you-” There was a beat of silence as he ran his hand through his hair as he tried to calm down his frustration. “Will you tell me eventually?” “I don’t know… I hope so” you answer truthfully. That seems to be enough for Wooyoung as he nods and takes your hand in his, motioning for you to lead the way.

It had been two days since the party and you hadn’t seen Wooyoung since, and for some reason, it was killing you. You felt like a total sellout, just a week ago you were perfectly content with never meeting your soulmate, barely giving the idea a thought, but now? Now you felt like you needed to see him. You had heard about this from other people with the soulmate mark, they say that once you meet your soulmate, all you want is to be around them, you thought that was utter bull shit, until now.

Yeosang and Mingi still didn’t know, and you weren’t about to tell them. You knew that once you did they would tell you how much of an idiot you were being. All you had to do was talk to him, get to know him and then maybe explain why you think soulmates are overrated, but you were scared that you would break around him, and give into the system you despised.

“It’s been two days, you need to get out of bed” Yeosang stated as he yanked your covers off you. “What even happened, why are you so moppy” Mingi asked as he helped Yeosang get you to stand. “Nothing” you mumbled, allowing them to push you into the bathroom so you could brush your teeth and get ready for class. “Come on Y/n, we’re not dumb, we know what’s going on.” You turned to Yeosang with wide eyes, he knew? How? “You’ve done nothing but stare at your soulmate mark for the past two day. So…” “so what” you replied, quickly turning back around to rinse out your mouth. “Who is it bitch” Mingi shouted as he turned you around to look at him. “No one, stop being weird” you tried to dismiss them and walk out but Yeosang blocked the door, staring straight into your eyes. “Who is it” “Who is it” they asked one after another, over and over again until they were basically chanting it in your ear. “Stop it! It’s Wooyoung, god it’s Wooyoung you freaks!” You shouted, quickly pushing past them to go back into your room.

“Wooyoung! The guy who invited us to that party?” Mingi exclaims with wide eyes. “Why didn’t you tell us” “because I knew you guys were going to freak out” “obviously! You found your soulmate that’s huge!” You just shook your head, he didn’t get it, after all these years he still didn’t understand. “Yeosang, I don’t want a soulmate” “no you don’t want an artificial, showy love” “wha-” “Y/n, for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been nothing but closed off and reserved when it comes to the idea of soulmate, but I see you when you see couples, real couples walk down the street, or when you watch those cheesy rom coms or dramas. You want to be loved” Yeosang all but shouts at you. He loves you and he wants nothing but the best for you, but sometimes you could be so stubborn. “You’re afraid of your soulmate using you and your relationship for attention” “I- shut up” you pout, you hate how he knows you so well, it’s sickening.

Yeosang chuckles and takes a seat next to you on your bed, “so, it looks like you have two options, keep pretending that love is gross and disgusting and is the root of all evil, or you can share your concerns to Wooyoung and hope he understands” “what if he doesn’t?” Your voice is so small you ask the question, because you were terrified he wouldn’t, that the person you were meant to be with for the rest of your life would ignore your worries and brush them and you off. “Then me and Mingi will go have a little talk with him and you’ll never have to see him again” Mingi nods rapidly, showing you that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you, neither of them would. “You guys suck, you know that'' you tease, allowing Yeosang to pull you into a hug. He hums in response, pulling you closer to ease your anxiety.

You stood in front of Wooyoung’s apartment, eyes trained on the door as you worked up the courage to knock. Which was proving to be a lot harder than you thought. You bring your hand up to the door, fist ready to knock, but you don’t you just stand there- until the door opens. You pull your hand back and step back quickly, you weren’t expecting anyone to open the door. San smiles at you, “you can go in, his room is the last door on the right” “thank you” you mumbled, quietly slipping in as San leaves, probably to attend one of his classes.

Knocking on Wooyoung’s door is a lot easier than knocking on the front door. “Go away” sounds tired and it hurts to think you caused that. “I can’t do that Wooyoung” you respond. In no time at all he’s standing in front of you with wide eyes. His hair is a bit messy and his shirt is on backwards, but he still managed to look so god damn good. Pushing that thought aside, you give him a weak smile, and he returns it, stepping out and closing his door. “I would say let’s talk in my rooms but it’s a bit of a mess right now” you giggle, nodding as you follow him to the living room.

“I’m sorry” is the first thing out of your mouth, “for what?” He seems genuinely confused. Wooyoung didn’t think you did anything wrong, he knew you needed space, it was just giving you that space was harder than he thought. “Y/n you have nothing to be sorry for” he reassures, gently rubbing your knee.You look at him and suddenly your fears of him not understanding melt away, in the short time you knew him, he’s probably the most understanding man you had ever met. He was sweet and kind and caring, how could you think he wouldn’t understand.

So you tell him everything, from how you feel that soulmate love feels fake, artificial, that no one tries, to your fear that he might use you as a way to get attention from others. And He listens, he listens to it all, never once interrupting you, encouraging you to take your time when you struggle to get the words out. He even wiped your tears when you started crying, hell he even started crying himself.

“Y/n-” He speaks up after you finish. He takes your hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze, “-I know my words won’t be enough to reassure you, so I’ll show you” he smiles. When you give him a confused look he smiles even harder, “I will show you that love isn’t superficial and I’ll show you that I will never use you, because I would never want to hurt you Y/n.” He speaks with so much sincerity that it overwhelms you, causing tears to effortlessly fall from your eyes. “All I have ever wanted was for my soulmate to be happy, and if I can make you happy, I will” Your body reacts before your brain can and you're immediately on him, hugging him so tightly as you let your happy tears flow freely. You don’t say anything, and neither does he, but you don’t have to, because both of you know that everything will be alright, as long as you’re together.

“Awww!” Wooyoung doesn’t let go of you as the two of you turn to see the owner of the voice. “Yun, you have terrible timing dude” Wooyoung grumbles to his roommate Yunho. “I’m sorry but that was just so sweet-” “get out” Wooyoung whined as he pulled you closer, making you laugh. Yunho mocks Wooyoung before giving you a joking bow, “it was nice to meet you Y/n” he says as he playfully winks. Wooyoung chases his friend out of the room before returning back to you. “Movie?” He questions and you nod, smiling up at him, “a movie sounds nice.”

#jung wooyoung #jung wooyoung x reader #jung wooyoung au #soulmate au #soulmate #ateez au #ateez fanfic #ateez soulmate au #kpop fanfic #kpop #kpop au #kpop soulmate au

278 notes · View notes

thesewordsareallihavetogive · 3 years

Text

no body, no crime - allison argent x reader

(gif source)

Summary: When y/n disappears after confronting her husband about his affair, Allison takes matters into her own hands. Based on “no body, no crime (feat. HAIM)” by taylor swift [x]. You can find the mood board for this fic here

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: cursing, infidelity, implied kidnapping, implied murder, murder, alleged murder, alleged/implied death of reader, reader is married to a man with a j name 🤢

a/n: hi everyone! it’s been a hot minute since i posted a new fic & this is why. i’ve been working on this since late december of 2020, so this is the longest i’ve ever spent on a stand-alone work. i’ll include more gory details about the writing process at the end if you’re interested :)

dedicated to: elle (@demxters) for all of her help and ideas! this fic literally wouldn’t have gotten finished without her, send her some love <3

this is also dedicated to caoimhe (@free-pool-trash) for not murdering me after i gave her a preview several weeks ago and then just ✨stopped writing✨

master list

Este's a friend of mine

We meet up every Tuesday night for dinner and a glass of wine

“Hey!” Allison greeted cheerily as she met y/n at their usual table tucked in the corner of their favorite restaurant. y/n returned the brunette’s smile as she stood up to hug her friend, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Allison saw through y/n’s facade and furrowed her eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” she asked as concern spread across her features.

“I think Justin is having an affair,” y/n admitted. The statement dropped like a bomb between the two women, causing Allison to nearly spew the wine in her mouth all over the table. She coughed a few times and drank some water to clear her throat before she composed herself enough to ask questions.

“What happened? Did you see something?” Allison asked hesitantly. Her mind was still reeling from the mere concept of y/n’s husband cheating on her. Sure, Justin had never been Allison’s favorite guy, but it was normal for girls to think that no guy would ever be good enough for their best friend. Right?

Her husband's acting different and it smells like infidelity

She says, "That ain't my merlot on his mouth"

"That ain't my jewelry on our joint account"

y/n explained what had been going on over the past few weeks. Justin had been acting distant, which wasn’t too abnormal, but when he started coming home from work much later than his shifts ended and disappearing at odd hours of the night, y/n got concerned. The day that she had planned to approach him about everything and ask if anything was wrong, she got a call from her bank while driving home from work.

“Hi Mrs. y/l/n, this is Kathy from the bank. I’m calling to inform you that there have been a few large cash withdrawals from your joint account recently under your husband’s name, as well as a pretty expensive purchase yesterday at the jeweler,” the rest of Kathy’s words sounded muffled to y/n. It was nowhere near her birthday, Valentine’s day, or their anniversary, so y/n didn’t know what he could possibly be spending all their money on.

The next incident came a few days later when both y/n and Justin were home. y/n’s husband was in the shower and his phone buzzed with a new text message alert. Typically, y/n was never the type to snoop on her husband’s phone, but she figured she should check in case it was a work message. At least that’s how she justified it in her head. Justin had saved the sender’s number under the contact name “Spam Risk.” It was clever, y/n had to give him credit for that at least. Upon further inspection, y/n quickly realized that those texts weren’t sent from a telemarketer bot.

6:24 p.m. I can’t wait to see you tonight, baby - Spam Risk

6:25 p.m. Don’t keep me waiting too long ;) - Spam Risk

y/n thought the messages were strange, but the picture that followed the messages was definitely what threw y/n for a loop. There, on her husband’s text message thread, was a racy photo of a woman’s body that definitely wasn’t hers. y/n was quite literally stunned to silence as she dropped the phone back down onto the dresser. For the rest of the night, y/n was numb and quiet, not that Justin noticed. Then, like clockwork, he left the house at 11 p.m. with no explanation of where he was going or when he would be back.

By the end of y/n’s story, Allison’s mouth was open so wide she was sure her jaw would hit the table.

“What are you going to do?” Allison whispered, still in shock. y/n grimaced before clearing her throat and speaking her next words with finality.

No, there ain't no doubt

I think I'm gonna call him out

Este wasn't there

Tuesday night at Olive Garden at her job or anywhere

“Hi, there should be a reservation for two under Allison Argent or y/n y/l/n for tonight,” Allison greeted warmly as she approached the hostess stand at their go-to girl’s night restaurant.

“Right this way, ma’am,” the hostess said with a smile as she grabbed two menus and led her towards their usual table. Two menus. That must mean that y/n wasn’t there yet? Allison thought it was strange, y/n almost always was the first of the two to arrive. Allison brushed off the thought as she thanked the hostess and sat down. She had intended to look over the menu, but the strangeness of it all wouldn’t leave her mind. y/n was late. She was never late. Allison pulled out her phone to text her best friend, and it then occurred to her that she hadn’t heard from y/n since last week. Allison had been away on a “work” trip with her dad for the past six days and had just gotten back into town. After 30 minutes of sitting at the table alone, half a dozen unanswered text messages, and even more calls sent straight to voicemail, Allison dropped a few bills on the table and left.

As Allison pulled out of the parking lot, she turned on the radio in a futile attempt to drown out some of her racing thoughts. Between songs the radio host took to the mic to make an announcement.

“Hello Beacon Hills, we now interrupt your regularly scheduled listening with an urgent message from the Sheriff's department. Speaking now is Sheriff Noah Stilinski,” the host trailed off before there was a brief crackle as the audio transitioned to the Sheriff’s press briefing. Allison turned up the volume as the Sheriff’s voice carried across the radio.

“Thank you all for attending and tuning in. It is with great displeasure and a heavy heart that I inform you all that y/n y/l/n has been reported missing. Shortly after 8 a.m. this morning, we were informed by her husband that she didn’t show up for work yesterday morning and also didn’t come home last night,” Sheriff Stilinski continued speaking but it all began to sound like white noise to Allison. It took everything she had in her to focus on not veering off the road so that she could head to the Sheriff’s station and speak to Stilinski in person.

Conveniently, her route took her right past y/n and Justin’s house. Allison didn’t know what to expect as she sped by their house, but the fact that Justin’s normally filthy truck had been cleaned and waxed definitely caught her eye. The truck and driveway were soon out of sight due to the speed she was driving at, but at first glance, it looked as though his tires and grill had been replaced.

He reports his missing wife

And I noticed when I passed his house his truck has got some brand new tires

About a week had passed since y/n had been reported missing. Allison wasn’t sure how many search parties had been held, but they all resulted in the same thing: nothing. There wasn’t a single trace of her best friend, in fact, everything in Beacon Hills looked completely unchanged and normal. Allison’s focus and appetite seemed to have left with her other half, try as she might to desperately hold onto them. Her marksmanship had even been affected, something that hadn’t happened since high school.

Allison started driving around town during her free time. She wasn’t headed anywhere in particular, she mostly did it to try to clear her mind, though most times she was unsuccessful. She’d been mindlessly taking right and left turns and before she realized where she was, she passed y/n’s house.

Allison hadn’t planned to slow down as she passed the house, it was a mindless act if anything. Seeing a moving truck backed up to the house while Justin and some unfamiliar blonde woman were unloading boxes ensured that her decision to park her car where it couldn’t be seen and spy on the pair wasn’t mindless. Despite her gut telling her not to, Allison decided to give Justin the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he needed a roommate now since y/n couldn’t pay her share of the rent? Allison tried her best to keep all of her judgments and suspicions at bay as she watched the otherwise uneventful event unfold while biting her fingernails.

A few boxes later, Justin pulled the blonde in by her waist and kissed her with a fervor that would make most people blush. Allison’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she sat there in shock with her mouth wide open. It took a while, mostly because the kiss lasted for an obnoxious amount of time, but Allison finally regained control of her body. It was like her brain had to go through a hard reset before she was able to face the reality of the situation.

y/n was right. Justin was cheating on her. Not only that, but Justin had cheated on y/n, spent less than a week grieving her disappearance, then allowed this to happen.

And his mistress moved in

Sleeps in Este's bed and everything

Allison found out that Justin Smith’s mistress’s name was Rebecca Baker. She was a few years younger than y/n and she worked at the same company as Justin. It didn’t take long for Allison to hack into both of their iCloud accounts. A few hours of scrolling later she was really regretting her decision, especially when she got to Justin’s messages to Rebecca about y/n.

2:47 a.m. What about your wife? - Spam Risk

2:47 a.m. What about her? - Justin

2:48 a.m. Are you going to leave her or kick her out or something? - Spam Risk

2:48 a.m. It’s been taken care of. - Justin

2:48 a.m. Taken care of? Justin, what does that mean? - Spam Risk

2:49 a.m. Justin??? - Spam Risk

Each new message ensured that bits of Allison’s fingernails had been gnawed off while her left hand fidgeted anxiously in front of her mouth. Allison decided that those messages were probably the most incriminating thing she’d find digitally, but the time and date stamps caught her eye. The texts were sent early Monday morning, the day that y/n allegedly left home and then didn’t show up for work or return home.

A chill spread from deep within Allison’s bones up to the surface of her skin, making goosebumps appear. Allison didn’t know what exactly, but she knew something terrible had happened to y/n and Justin had something to do with it. She shut her laptop a little harder than necessary as a resolved look spread across her face.

No, there ain't no doubt

Somebody's gotta catch him out

Good thing my daddy made me get a boating license when I was fifteen

Allison regularly accessed her personal armory, whether it was to prepare for a job or pack for a trip to the shooting range, but it had been a while since a powerful and unforgiving feeling hung over her shoulders. Allison carefully ran her fingers over her custom silver arrowheads as she considered her options. Her father’s words from one of her adolescent archery lessons rung in her head.

“The type of bow and arrows you use doesn’t matter. As long as you use them right, you’ll be able to make any shot. Don’t get hung up on the technicalities.”

Not too long after, her bag was stocked with her essentials: a bow, her trusted black leather archery glove, as well as a handful of arrows, though these ones lacked the silver heads she typically reserved for more exotic expeditions.

The rare dark clouds in the California sky at sunset were reflected in Allison’s cold eyes. The drive to her target’s house was familiar, the turns she made were almost instinctual. Normally these roads reminded her of her coffee dates with y/n and nights they spent talking for hours until sunlight crept through the windows. Now, her mind was blank and her heart was devoid of all emotion.

Even though Allison had disabled her car’s GPS earlier, she parked her car about a mile away from his house. When she was done, there wouldn’t be any evidence that could be traced back to her. She memorized his schedule; at 5:00 p.m. his shift ended and recently he’d been getting home by 5:20. His girlfriend got home sometime between 5:30 and 5:45, but she would leave for her pilates class around 6:30 and wouldn’t get home until 7:45. Allison had just over an hour window to get the job done, but it wouldn’t take that long. If everything went according to plan, she’d be off the property within a few minutes of taking the shot.

When she arrived her target had just come home from work and was alone in the house. She waited patiently, hidden by the trees that the property backed up to. She watched as he moved around through the open curtains and then as his girlfriend entered the house and kissed him with a passion that made Allison’s stomach churn. She watched as they ate dinner together, as her target’s girlfriend got ready for her gym class, and watched as she got in her car and drove away. When Allison checked her watch it was only 6:25 p.m., she had far more time than she needed.

The plan was simple, really. Under the cover of darkness, she’d flip the breakers, effectively cutting the power. When her target came out to investigate, she’d let him fumble around in the darkness for a while. He’d always been a paranoid individual, so it wouldn’t take much to get him on edge. A rustle in the bushes here, a small snapped tree branch there, and then something that would get his attention. Allison wanted his eyes to be on her when she took the shot.

Allison’s target was watching TV so he knew immediately when the power went out, plus the fact that the once illuminated house was suddenly bathed in darkness. The high-pitched yelp that escaped his throat almost made Allison laugh. She had to keep quiet though, at least for now. As expected, the dopey man scurried around to the side of the house where the breakers were located in no time. The batteries in the flashlight he held were on their last leg, that much was evident in the way the light beam flickered every few seconds.

Just as he opened the door to the circuit breaker panel, Allison moved. A rustle here. The sound practically echoed in the silence of the night, causing the man to whip around and shine his flashlight directly at the source of the noise. There was nothing there. It’s just the wind, he reasoned before getting back to work. After a few switches had been flipped - none of them for the outdoor lights - he heard another noise. This one was much louder than the last, a small snapped tree branch there. Again, the flashlight’s flickering light beam uncovered nothing, but it was enough to make all of the hairs on the back of Allison’s target’s neck stand up straight. He hastily flipped the rest of the breakers and the outdoor lights finally came on.

When yellow light from the backyard fixtures flooded the area, both Allison and her target were revealed. Allison stood a considerable distance away from the man, but she was close enough to see the blood drain from his face and his Adam's apple bob. When his eyes darted to the bow hung by her side, realization dawned on his face. He began to turn away with the intention of running, but Allison’s voice held him frozen in place.

“Don’t move,” she ordered quietly without any aggression behind her tone. Her face wasn’t threatening, she just looked calm and focused. Allison’s smooth features and peaceful expression was what scared the man the most.

“I- I’m sorry- I didn’t-” he stammered out, his arms and legs beginning to tremble.

“Shh,” Allison chastised as she raised her bow, loading it with an arrow. Her fingers moved with precision, her muscles knew this routine well.

“Please don’t- no, you can’t, you can’t do this!” the man pleaded. He wasn’t above begging on his knees, but Allison wasn’t about to give him the chance. Her gaze was sharply focused on her target, the view of her tightly grasped bow in her peripheral vision.

“Nous chassons ceux qui nous chassent.”

When Allison’s fingers let go of the bowstring the arrow flew smoothly through the air. The only sounds heard were the arrowhead piercing skin and the man wordlessly falling to the ground. The arrow went straight through his heart. Maybe Allison’s shot landed right where she intended. Maybe there was a metaphor in there. Allison checked her wristwatch, the numbers 6:45 shining back at her. An entire hour to spare.

Time to take out the trash.

I've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene

The job didn’t take long at all and it was definitely one of Allison’s least challenging ones, but it still felt nice to take a hot shower and sit in front of her fireplace with a cup of tea. The fire served a dual purpose; the crackles of the burning wood soothed her like a lullaby while the flames licked around and destroyed her bloody clothes from earlier. All of her equipment had been cleaned and put away, positioned exactly as it had been before. Everything was the same, nothing changed or out of place. There was just one less heartbeat in the world that night.

Good thing Este's sister's gonna swear she was with me

On the second day of the trial, Rebecca Baker’s lawyers were throwing whatever they could against the wall to see if something would stick. That morning they began to argue that Allison Argent might’ve abducted and murdered Justin Smith in retaliation for y/n’s disappearance. It was all speculation at best, but the theory unfortunately made sense to the jury. Before things could get too far, the prosecution called its first witness of the day to the stand.

“Mrs. Martin, where were you on the night of Mr. Smith’s suspected disappearance?” the prosecution lawyer questioned calmly.

“I was with Allison at my house. We were having a girls night in, you can check my security cameras,” Lydia answered confidently. Lydia still had a pocketful of favors from her MIT days, so when the jurors were shown the clips from Lydia’s home security cameras, they saw exactly what they would’ve expected based on Lydia’s testimony.

Truth be told, Lydia didn’t know anything about what happened that night; including Allison’s whereabouts and any details related to Justin’s alleged demise. All she knew was that Allison called and asked for a simple favor - an alibi for just a few hours. Lydia didn’t ask questions and Allison didn’t give answers.

Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy

On the third day of the trial, Rebecca Baker took the stand. Her lawyers tried to help her as best they could, but the prosecution was ruthless. All of the evidence was circumstantial at best - all parties, including the judge and jurors, knew that - but it was enough to make everyone reconsider the spotless image the defense had tried to create for Ms. Baker.

“Ms. Baker, is it true that you knowingly engaged in a romantic relationship while Justin Smith was married to and living with his wife?” another one of the prosecution’s attorneys began.

“Yes,” Rebecca replied meekly. Allison internally scoffed from her seat in the gallery. She found irony in the fact that Rebecca didn’t find any humility or shame in sleeping with another woman’s husband until she was under oath.

“Is it also true that within approximately a week of Mrs. y/l/n’s disappearance, you moved into Mr. Smith and Mrs. y/l/n’s house?”

“That is correct,” Rebecca said as she began to wring her hands together anxiously. The judge tapped his wrist watch and shot a stern look towards the prosecutor. The man nodded in response and continued to his final points.

“I’ll wrap up my questions for you, Ms. Baker. Can you confirm that shortly after moving in with Mr. Smith, multiple legal and financial arrangements and adjustments were made? And these new arrangements make you the sole beneficiary of Mr. Smith’s life issuance policy, assets, and investments?”

By the end of the prosecution’s final question, every jury member and spectator sat up straighter and waited to hear Rebecca’s response with bated breath. The blonde ball of nerves sighed defeatedly before turning to face the attorney directly as she answered his question.

“Yes, that’s true.”

“No further questions, your honor.” As the lead prosecutor returned to the plaintiff’s table, Rebecca’s attorney stood up to address the judge.

“Your honor, the defense would like to request a brief recess,” the defense attorney nearly pleaded. Though his poker face was much better than his client’s, it was clear that he was getting nervous.

“We’ll reconvene in 15 minutes,” the judge ordered with a stern glare cast towards Rebecca.

They think she did it but they just can't prove it

It soon became clear to Rebecca that the recess her legal team requested was nothing more than a “kiss your dignity goodbye” meeting. If she hadn’t been queasy before the recess was called, she definitely was upon re-entering the courtroom.

The rest of the trial seemed to move in slow motion for Rebecca. A few more witnesses were called to the stand, more lackluster evidence was presented, both sides made their closing arguments, and the jury left to discuss the verdict. After what felt like an eternity, the jury returned with an official decision.

Silence settled over the room as a single juror stood to address the court.

“The jury finds the defendant not guilty on count 1 of murder in the first degree based on lack of sufficient evidence. The jury finds the defendant not guilty on count 2 of kidnapping based on lack of sufficient evidence. The jury finds the defendant guilty on count 3 of insurance fraud based on…”

The rest of the jurors’ statement sounded like white noise to Rebecca. She was just barely coherent enough to hear the judge deliver her punishment a few minutes later. $50,000 fine and 200 hours of community service.

Allison stuck around to the bitter end of the trial to hear the verdict in person. In all honesty, Allison didn’t want Rebecca to go to jail. It wouldn’t be right for her to serve time for a crime she didn’t commit, but Allison did find satisfaction in the fact that Rebecca would soon be picking up garbage in a fluorescent orange vest.

After the majority of the spectators had vacated the courtroom gallery, Allison leisurely gathered her things. Justice had been served to Justin, she personally made sure of that, and now justice had been served to Rebecca. The blonde and brunette women briefly locked eye contact as Allison made her way towards the exit.

“You did this,” Rebecca whispered to Allison. Suddenly, it was like a flip switched within her. One moment she was numb, yet calm and collected, and the next moment she was screaming (literal) bloody murder and had to be held back by her lawyers.

“YOU DID THIS! YOU KILLED JUSTIN, YOU BITCH!” Rebecca cried, though her words fell on deaf ears. Allison exited the courtroom with her head held high as the courtroom deputy and defense lawyers did their best to calm the hysterical woman.

She thinks I did it but she just can't prove it

A week later the court case was still on Allison’s mind but the emotional scars had begun to scab. Healing was never a straight or smooth path, Allison had learned that the hard way over the years, but this was a start.

y/n’s landlord had been generous enough to allow Allison to gather y/n’s things before he cleaned out the house for new renters. As Allison walked through the home she once considered to be an extension of her own, she felt her throat dry out and tighten up. She hadn’t realized she was crying until she was wiping salty tears off of the picture frames she’d carefully picked up. Each photo unlocked a new memory, some even elicited a chuckle out of Allison amidst her tears.

A photo from y/n’s wedding day stood out among all the rest as Allison’s eyes jumped from frame to frame. It was a candid shot Lydia had taken while they were in y/n’s dressing room before the ceremony. y/n looked as beautiful as ever in her flowy white gown and Allison’s mulberry maid of honor dress complemented it well. As Allison put the final touches on y/n’s hair and makeup, y/n fastened the clasp of a custom necklace behind Allison’s neck. On a thin, medium-length chain hung an arrowhead from the first time Allison had ever tried to teach y/n how to shoot a bow and arrow. y/n failed miserably, but it was a cherished memory for both girls. Since that day, Allison had only taken the necklace off a handful of times.

Allison smiled bittersweetly at the memory and wiped a fresh tear off of the decorative frame before pulling her necklace out from underneath her shirt. She pressed a gentle kiss to the cool silver arrowhead and then to the photo frame, right above y/n’s styled hair.

A feeling that Allison couldn’t quite explain flowed through her body just then; it was like taking a deep breath of fresh air after being stuck underwater or seeing the gentle rays of the sun for the first time after a hurricane, it felt like freedom. Allison felt almost as if y/n was right there next to her, with her head resting on Allison's shoulder and wrapping her arms around the brunette’s torso. In that moment, Allison somehow wordlessly knew with every fiber in her being that y/n was finally at peace.

No, no body, no crime

I wasn't letting up until the day he died

a/n: AHHHH DID YOU LIKE IT? it was kind of a wild ride from start to finish and i definitely shed a few tears while i was writing it. please lmk what you think!

okay, now onto the writing process from hell: i started drafting ideas for the fic on dec. 21 or 22 of 2020, after i put together a mood board. i had written more than half of the fic when i decided i hated it and scrapped the whole thing on xmas eve (~3000 words 🤡). after that i was kinda in a rut and couldn’t decide how i wanted to end the fic so i ended up writing and deleting ~2500 words over the past month and a half. @demxters is an absolute GODDESS and helped me come up with the ending, so i am eternally grateful to her for that. if any of this seems a lil strange it’s probably because i finished writing it at 4:45 a.m. after working on it for 3ish hours straight. have a great day lovelies!

join my tag list!

@dashkana @rogershoe @basicbibitxh @sweetfairyprincess17 @samkysnks @ellxpsismm @pure-ghost @lilyspells @ineedyourskulls @loveheathens @plq-cid @linkpk88 @grace-wade-08 @brithedemonspawn @fanfichoex @wistful-chaos @silveralma @malfoysadore @miss-i-ship-it @sonnydoesrandomshit

149 notes · View notes

everybodyscupoftea · 4 years

Text

drunk in love

jj x reader

word count: 2136

warnings: lots of drinking and not really responsibly (some underage but mostly of age); cursing (as usual); weed and smoking

synopsis: a headcanon thing where jj is your long time drinking buddy but with feelings

a/n: please drink responsibly friends

The first time you met was at a house party thrown by one of your new coworkers freshman year. You’d heard of the infamous JJ and his wild tendencies, but you’d never seen them or even him in person.

That is until you were sitting on the couch with another girl you knew and he dropped into the empty spot next to you, promptly spilling his full beer all over your leg and the couch. He slurred out, “Oh fuck, my b,” more to the couch than you.

The second time you met JJ was when you were the only one brave enough to take on the cement mixer with him. Four shot glasses, two with Baileys and two with lime juice, sat on the counter in front you. The group of people standing in the kitchen counted you down and the two of you quickly shot both and started shaking your heads quickly, allowing them to mix.

JJ accidentally spilled some down his chin but you swallowed no problem, resulting in cheers erupting all over the kitchen. You heard one of your friends scream, “Noob!” at him while wrapping you in a victorious hug.

He held a hand out for you to shake, “I yield to the superior drinker.”

The third time you met him was when your flip-pong team wiped the floor with his. You shook your head at him as he pouted, “Absolute fucking amateurs.”

He scoffed, “Your ass got carried through that game.”

You couldn’t let that stand, so you pulled up your friend’s story showing you absolutely annihilating him in a flip cup matchup which led to his team having to drink. And what exactly was he supposed to say to that?

The fourth and final time you met JJ before finally becoming friends was at a tailgate. Your friend was dating one of his frat brothers, so the two of you often tailgated with them. Admittedly, your one weakness when it came to drinking competitions was shotgunning.

Naturally, when JJ saw you there, he challenged you immediately, and you had a point to prove. You’d let to lose to JJ and it couldn’t start now. Your friend knew you were bad, but handed you an unopened beer and squeezed your shoulder for luck.

You lost but barely. JJ wrapped his arm around your shoulder, “Maybe next time, fucking amateur.” And you had to laugh at that.

“Hey I’ll get you one day and then you’ll never be able to beat me. I’ll be unstoppable.”

He shrugged, “In that case, you’re my new pong partner. John B who?”

From then on, anytime JJ got invited to a party or planned a night out, you were involved. Your favorite nights with JJ were when a group of you got together for bar-hopping downtown. One time in particular, about two years after meeting JJ for the first time, stuck out from all the others.

After a tailgate, you went back to your apartment to get dressed to go out instead of going to the football game. The plan was for JJ to come pick you up after the game to go back to the frat house to pregame before going downtown for the night, and you were excited.

It was dark by the time JJ pulled up and most of your closet was on the floor due to indecisiveness of what to wear. JJ had his pregame playlist blasting when you opened the door and his whole truck smelled like weed. You picked up the dab in the cup holder and took a hit as he sped off toward frat row.

“You look nice.”

A blush you didn’t want to acknowledge warmed your cheeks and you blew out smoke, “Thanks bud, wish I could say the same to you.”

He rolled his eyes, “Fuck off, I’m going to change before we go out.”

You just laughed and took another hit as he turned into the driveway. Following him to his room, you sat on the bed while he dug through his drawers for a shirt he hadn’t sweated in yet. He threw a shirt off the floor at you to get your attention, “Call John B and make sure he picked up the alcohol from Sarah’s please?”

“He’s your brother, you do it.”

JJ gave you a dirty look as you stretched out on his bed, “I’m getting dressed, can’t you just call him off my phone?”

You rolled your eyes, feeling unusually difficult, “I think you’re done getting ready, you look pretty, J, call him.”

He tossed the phone at you, already unlocked, and you begrudgingly pressed John B’s contact. You kicked your shoes off and got more comfortable in his bed as it rang.

“J, I’m on my way home, chill.”

“Not JJ, but I am calling to make sure you got the juice.”

“You’re just as bad as him, yes we have the alcohol.”

“We?”

John B paused for a few seconds, clearly hesitating, “Me and Sarah.”

“You’re bringing Sarah to pregame?” you asked incredulously and JJ’s head snapped up to look at you. He motioned for you to give him and phone and you shook your head.

“Give it,” he whispered.

“No,” you hissed at him, backing into the wall as he walked across the room to you.

JJ lunged toward the bed and held his hand out, “I just need to have a word with him.”

You hung up just before he ripped the phone out of your hand, and he gave you a dirty look. You smirked, “Gotta be faster, Maybank.”

“You’re the one who’s going to have to hang out with her.” And fair enough.

He crossed his arms, “Fine, you can find your own alcohol source tonight, I’m cutting you off.”

Pouting, you scrambled off the bed and wrapped him in a hug, “No, I’m sorry, I promise I’ll be nice to you.”

With an eyeroll, he wrapped his arms around you too, “Fine but only because you’re my girl.”

When John B finally showed up, you and JJ were sitting on the couch scrolling through twitter together with a plate full of pizza rolls on the table in front of you. John B lifted a heavy looking cooler over the threshold and set it down next to the table, he huffed when you two didn’t even look at him, “Hey you lazy fucks, here’s the alcohol, venmo me $20 each please.”

You walked to the cooler to grab a few beers for you and JJ while he set up drunk jenga on the table and yelled out for the other residents of the house to come play. Using one of your rings, you popped the bottles open and handed one to JJ before sitting back down next to him on the couch.

Several rounds were played as you got into a comfortable buzz. One of the freshman brothers of JJ’s frat was assigned designated driver, so he sat on the floor near you, sipping on water instead of beer with the rest of you.

After Pope lost the third round in a row he stood up, annoyed, “I’m going to play beer pong, anyone up to join?”

And obviously you were down. You followed him over for a solos game and JJ followed close behind you. Pope was a little drunker than you because of all his losses, but he was still a pretty good pong player anyway, definitely one of the best in the house behind JJ.

One of his shots hit the rim of one of your cups just as JJ blew smoke in your face, causing you to miss the swat. You glared at him, “Fuck off, J.” Of course, it landed in another cup and you quickly drained both cups before tossing the ball back to Pope.

“Fuckin right, JJ,” Pope cheered, “keep up the good distraction work.”

Pope missed the rest of his shots, and you shoved JJ away long enough to make three in a row. And from that point on, you were on fire, making quick work of the rest of the game. JJ cheered as you sank the last shot and wrapped an arm around you excitedly, “That’s my girl!”

You weren’t really in the mood to black out that night, and you knew you’d be drinking downtown, so you declined Pope’s rematch challenge.

When the sober freshman finally managed to gather everyone up to be dropped off downtown, you found yourself squished in the back seat between JJ and Sarah who had been pretty quiet all night, really only talking to John B. You didn’t know much about Sarah, just that JJ didn’t like her much plus some of the stories he’d told you that didn’t give the best impression.

Kie met you in front of your favorite bar, and your group quickly shuffled inside, barely stopping to get your hands stamped before going up to the bar. Your roommate worked there and gave you discounted drinks, so it was always your starting spot.

She leaned over the bar to press a kiss to your cheek and slid a vodka cranberry to you, “Cheers, bitch,” she yelled over the blasting music.

JJ ordered shots for the group and you ordered a beer for him in return. The whole group quickly took the lemon-flavored shots and you pulled JJ onto the dance floor, barely giving him enough time to grab the beer off the bar.

An hour and three vodka cranberries later, you were screaming along to Post Malone’s I Fall Apart, one hand holding an empty cup and the other clutching the back of JJ’s neck. He was laughing at you slurring the lyrics, but he was just as drunk, and you really considered kissing him to shut him up, not for the first time.

But before you could work up either the nerve or the coordination, the song ended and he leaned down to talk in your ear, “Wanna head next door, John B just texted me they’re doing half priced shots for the football win today?”

You nodded and stepped away from him, which was a little disappointing, but JJ didn’t let you go far. He wrapped his arm around your waist and let you lead the two of you off the dance floor and out of the bar. The air outside was warm, but cooler than inside, and a breeze chilled your sweat soaked neck.

The two of you stumbled inside the building next door and met your friends at the bar where they had shots lined up for you. With a cheer, everyone slammed their shot glass on the bar twice and tossed it back.

Three hours later, you and JJ stumbled out of your fourth bar of the night and headed slowly down the sidewalk, hanging onto each other. JJ’s arm was thrown around your shoulder and your arm was wrapped tightly around his waist, hand gripping his t-shirt.

You weren’t sure how, or why, but the two of you ended up on campus, two miles away from the bar. JJ stumbled over to the fountain in the center of the quad and climbed onto the raised edge. He was swaying and you were suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to shove him in. So you did, and unfortunately, he grabbed your arms and pulled you in with him.

“Fuck, J, why?!”

He splashed you with a bright, dopey smile, and you rolled your eyes, kicking water back in his direction. That started a fight, one you weren’t prepared for, and he overwhelmed you quickly, moving closer to wrap his arms around you.

Before you even realized what was happening, he was kissing you. You responded immediately, returning the kiss enthusiastically. It seemed to go on forever before you heard yelling coming from the edge of the quad.

JJ turned and waved clumsily at his freshman brother who had apparently tracked the two of you down to drive back home. He huffed at the two of you exasperatedly and held out towels, “Thank god for snap maps but Jesus fuck, the fountain…really guys?”

You started giggling and climbed into the backseat, plucking the juul out of JJ’s fingers to take a hit of your own before he could bring it to his lips.

“You owe me so many pods.”

Pouting, you held onto his hand, “But you love me so I get privileges.”

JJ muttered something under his breath and you leaned in trying to hear. He raised his eyebrows at you encroaching his personal space and spoke up, “Yeah I guess I do, you absolute menace.”

“Good because I love you too and that’s why I’ve been letting you drag my pong record down for two years now.”

Instead of answering, he just rolled his eyes and kissed you again.

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fic #outer banks fic #outer banks #jj maybank headcanon #jj maybank x you #outer banks headcanon #obx #college jj

264 notes · View notes

rosesloveletters · 3 years

Note

Hi dear 💌 just wanted to pop in here real' quick. I saw your post about feeling down and hoping that you'd be anyone but you. I just wanted to say that I hope that you know I appreciate you immensely for just being who you are and always being so so good to me. 🥺 You're one of the kindest souls I've ever encountered and I feel so so grateful that our paths have crossed like this 🥺🥺 your blog feels like a safe place where anyone can freely be who they are without judgement 💗

I hope it's okay if I drop some questions here, I love it when you gush about your F/Os: what's a song that reminds you of them? and what's something that people wouldn't guess about them when they first meet them/that only you know? 🥺

excuse me for dropping for Casanova gushing here 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 something people wouldn't guess about him - given he's always on the move and going places - is that Casanova sleeps like the dead. I can't count the times I've woken up at night and haven't fallen back asleep and then I've just had to lay there alone in silence because the man will not budge. He wakes up on his own just fine but I've yet to meet someone else that can wake him up 🥴

a song that reminds me of him: everybody talks by neon trees 🥺

this is also your reminder that you deserve all the good things the world gives you and your F/Os love you very much 💌😌 -Magda xx (sorry this ask turned out so long lol)

MAGDA🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

This was such a sweet message to find here in my inbox, waiting for me🥺 This week has been a thoroughly rough one and I have felt like retreating in on myself and hoping I might cease to exist. This message made things seem a little brighter and I cannot thank you enough for the little bit of kindness which you have extended to me over the past week or so that we’ve been interacting. I try to keep my blog fairly light-hearted and happy (why would I want to come online if it wasn’t happy?) I feel as though I owe it to myself and to others to put on a smile, even and especially when I am anything but jovial. It is an honor to me to know I have achieved that; I value your opinion, darling. I am so happy to know you and you are always, always welcome here on my blog 💗 This is always a judgement-free zone!

Oh darling, thank you for asking about my F/Os🥺 I haven’t felt quite right with them all week, so that is why I have held off on answering this ask for a bit. Thank you for extending this bit of kindness to me; it means everything that you enjoy hearing about the relationship I have with them and letting me gush.

what's a song that reminds you of them?

There are lots and lots of songs that remind me of my loves. I’ll list a few here, though I will not go into detail as to why they’re special and/or important to our relationship since I can tend to be a little...emotional😅

Faithfully - Journey

Daylight - Taylor Swift

Lover - Taylor Swift

Your Song - Elton John

what's something that people wouldn't guess about them when they first meet them/that only you know?

This is an extremely good question and I absolutely love that you asked it! I might end up listing several that I haven’t spoken about before, since this question made me ponder a bit deeply on my loves’ personalities.

The only thing about J that is messy or dirty is his hygiene; he is actually extremely clean within his living habits. He does not like his belongings touched/moved/etc. by anyone. He has specific places where he stores things and where he’ll hang his trench coat and those items will not vary from those spots. He likes to know where his belongings are at all times and it bothers him immensely if they’re removed from his assigned locations.

J loves fruit. He will try any kind of fruit that you’ll put in front of him; he once came home with something called a jackfruit (yes, the name is why he “bought” it.) If you have not ever seen a jackfruit, I suggest a quick Google Search; it is quite the interesting choice, if mainly for the size of it alone. J’s favorite fruit is pineapple (Pat and I have witnessed him eat an entire pineapple at once), but he is not picky and will devour any kind of fruit that he can get his hands on.

J is ambidextrous; he trained himself to be so after leaving the military. He learned that body parts are expendable and how easy it is to lose limbs. He switches from performing tasks with his right hand versus his left quite often so that no one is really aware which was his original dominant hand. Patrick often jokes that J doesn’t even remember which is his dominant hand.

Pat:

Patrick has an innate fascination with astronomy/space/etc. When he lived in Australia with his mom, he remembered nights when the two of them would go out into their backyard and look at the stars together. (I haven’t ever shared my headcanons for Patrick’s background/early life, so the next few bits might be nonsensical since I haven’t ever shared my thoughts on this.) Before his grandfather left for America, he would take Pat out to the outback and they would climb into the back of his truck and count the constellations and look at the planets through a telescope his grandfather bought.

Patrick has a pocket watch he carries with him at all times that was gifted to him by his grandfather. His grandpa told Patrick that his grandfather had given it to him when he was a boy and had carried a piece of him around all these years; now, Pat was to carry his own grandfather within that reminder of the pocket watch and so Pat has never let go of it all these years. It brings Pat great comfort to have this physical reminder of his grandpa with him all of the time.

Patrick is terrified of the dentist and I mean absolutely petrified. It stems from an extremely bad experience that he had whenever he was very young (I won’t go into detail for those who are also afraid; I don’t want to trigger anyone!)

Thank you endlessly for letting me gush like this and share some more personal things from our relationship! I find it extremely fulfilling to delve into these characters more. Oh my goodness, I had no idea Casanova would be such a sound sleeper! It makes sense, given his tendency to a more active lifestyle. It must tire him out to be so adventurous all the time😂 Your relationship with him sounds so wholesome and lovely💗 Thank you for sharing these headcanons with me and that song seems to fit him perfectly! You both are so very sweet and I love hearing about the relationship you share with each other💗💗💗

I hope you are taking care and staying safe! Enjoy the weekend, darling; you deserve nothing but good things💗 (It’s completely fine! Long asks are so much fun to answer!)

5 notes · View notes

apenapaperandadoofus · 4 years

Note

Hi! Can i request the RFA + V and Saeran with mc who can’t cook like she can’t even turn on the stove but she tried to cook for them as a way to cheer them up?? How do you think they’ll react to it? Thanks, have a good day 😁

Sure! And honestly that’s the perfect way to describe me lmao I can’t cook shit (ALSO EVERYTHING GOT DELETED SO I HAD TO WRITE IT AGAIN GD TUMBLRRRR!)

RFA+V and Saeran with an MC who can’t cook:

Zen:

He was a bit depressed since he was having a hard time with his role

Rehearsal was beginning in a few days and Zen still couldn’t get a feel of the character

So he was pretty sad

And you decided to try to cheer him up!

By cooking!

You asked Jaehee about his favorite food

Lamb kebab!

You waited until Zen went out for his jog and started working!

You put on a cute aprond and started working!

Everything was going well

Lmao who are we kidding everything was a disaster

First of all, you made the rice way to soggy so that sucks

And then while you were trying to grill the rest of the food it got burnt

And it set off your fire alarm

Which made everyone in the apartment fire because they thought there was a freaking fire

They called the fireman and everything

Until you explained that it was just the smell of your burnt cooking and that everything was fine

After everyone else calmed down and went back to their apartments, you saw Zen running towards you and giving you a tight hug

He had seen the fire truck go all the way to your place and he panicked

But you mumbled that it was because you burnt some food and set off the fire alarm

He laughed because he found it so cute, but when he saw your pouty face he grabbed your hand and guided you towards your home

He did try eating your food but it was burnt so you decided to just go an eat some fish shaped bread!

“Babe~ Thanks for trying to cheer me up! I love you~”

Yoosung:

You guys always ordered fast food because the two of you didn’t know how to cook lmao

Recently you saw Yoosung was pretty stressed, since finals were coming up and he was studying like crazy

That may have been because you promised no kisses unless he got some good grades

So he was working hard! But you didn’t want him to over do it

You decided to cook his favorite food!

You woke up early, while Yoosung was still making up for his loss of sleep due to the all nighters he was pulling

You diced to make him some omurice!

You turned on the stove and started cooking

I mean it was going fine until you had to cut the chicken and the onions!

First of all, you were paranoid while cutting the chicken because you didn’t want to cut yourself

But then you finished! And so the crisis was adverted!

Then you proceeded to cut the onion!

But while you were cutting it you started crying a bit

And you didn’t see where you were cutting and accidentally cut your finger

Just at that moment Yoosung was yawning and saying a lazy mornin’ while making his way to the kitchen

But he stopped when he saw you

You were bleeding a bit and your face was filled with tears

He immediately panicked and started shouting asking you what had happened

You tried to explain but he would let you talk

So you cupped his face and made him look at you

“Yoosung, I’m fine! I was trying to cook for you but while I was cutting the onion I started crying and accidentally cut myself. But it doesn’t hurt!”

Yoosung was immediately relieved and when you told him you were cooking for him he was so moved

He will eat everything you made for him, and later he will even try to return the favor!

Jaehee:

She was a bit stressed with the cafe, since she was having a bit of trouble getting the hang of everything that she had to do

So you decided to make her some lunch for work the next day!

You left the cafe early and went home to make Jaehee a cute chicken bento box!

Whenever you cooked you did it with Jaehee since she was the expert, but right now you wanted to surprise her!

You were doing a good job! You peeled the apples to have the forms of bunnies, put the rice on one side and the chicken teriyaki on another side!

Then you wrapped it up so you could give it to her the next day!

When you gave it to Jaehee she was so happy! And she even diced to feed you a bit

But then you tasted it and you wanted to barf

You had put wayyyy too much soy sauce!!!

“Jaehee! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Jaehee only shook her head and smiled at you

“Y/N, whatever you make is delicious, and I will gladly eat it no matter what.”

Beautiful please marry this woman 🥺

Jumin:

He was pretty busy with work

And didn’t get to spend much time with you :(

So you decided to make a romantic dinner for him!

You told the chef to take a day off and started working before Jumin came home

Yea but it didn’t work

He had a really weird stove

How?

How does that work?

Someone help me please?

You spent sooooo long trying to get the damn stove to turn on

You even started crying a bit

Jumin came home and he saw you sitting on the couch, holding your knees, with your head hung low

Elizabeth was beside you, purring and trying to get your attention

“Love? Is everything alright?”

He quickly made his way over to you, and sat beside you, rubbing you back

“J-Jumin” you sobbed “I-I tried cooking for y-you but the-the freaking stove didn’t want t-to turn on! And-and I really w-wanted you to e-eat my food b-but the stupid stove didn’t want to work!”

Jumin was relieved, since he actually thought he’d done something wrong, but then he chuckled and hugged you

“Love thank you. I’m sure your food would’ve been delicious, but you don’t need to worry about me. Just sleeping in the same bed as you cheers me up every morning.”

He kissed your forehead and after you calmed down Jumin showed you how his stove worked, although he never really used it

And you both cooked together!

Saeyoung:

Saeyoung was having a gloomy day D:

He was isolating himself in his office, and nothing you or Saeran did could bring him out

So you decided to cook for him!

Saeyoung honestly liked everything, so you decided to make some ramen!

Saeran did ask if you needed some help, but you told him that you wanted to do it yourself!

And so you started cooking, putting on your favorite songs and dancing around

While you were placing the ingredients in the pot you were dancing to one of your favorite songs

And you accidentally knocked it over with your elbow

You screamed as the pot burnt a bit of hand and your feet

Saeyoung ran to the kitchen, Saeran following close behind

“Y/N! Are you alright?!”

You bit your lip and cried and explained that you had knocked the ramen pot while you were dancing

“What? Ramen pot? Why the hell were you making ramen?” He asked while he checked your foot and hand

“I-I saw you were feeling a bit down so I wanted to cook for you and try to...sniff...cheer you up!”

Saeyoung looked at you surprised and sighed

“Y/N...you didn’t have to do this for me...”

You told him that you really wanted to, and he hugged you and kissed where you had gotten brunt

Saeyoung carried you to the kitchen and with Saeran they cleaned up the kitchen and made some food for you!

That night Saeyoung will hold you tight and whisper so many thank-you’s

V was feeling a bit down since he had a bit of art block

So to cheer him up you decided to cook some pain de campagne which was one of his favorite food!

You wanted to make the bread from scratch, so you were working hard!

Finally you put the bread in the oven and went over to the living room to talk to some of the RFA members

Well you forgot that the bread was there

Later when V went to the kitchen to drink some water he smelled something burning

And he discovered the bread!

“Umm, love? Y/N, can you come here for a second?”

You quickly made your way to the kitchen and gasped as you remembered

You had made bread for him!!!!

And you forgot to take them out of the oven!

You became red in the face and started apologizing while explaining to V that you wanted to try and cheer him up

He chuckled and held your hands

“Thank you Y/N...that was so sweet of you.”

He will definitely feel better!

And later you will both cook some bread together!

Saeran:

Even though Saeran had gotten out of mint eye, he still had his ups and downs

One day he wasn’t feeling good, so he stayed in bed all day

To cheer him up you decided to bake some cookies for him!

Saeran was always making things for you and you wanted to repay him!

So you started getting everything ready

While you were making the cookies the whole kitchen was a mess

I mean you accidentally opened the flour and made it go all over your face

And then you put a bit too much sugar

When you started mixing you may have gotten the whole place dirty lmao

Then you put them in the oven and waited paintently!

Whenever Saeran has nightmares you had stayed up with him at night

So you were a bit tired

Nd you didn’t notice that you started dozing off for a bit

Until you remembered the cookies! And you got them out of the oven

They were a bit burnt :(

Saeran had finally woken up and was going to cook some lunch

But he saw you there with the cookies and he smiled

“Princess? What are you doing?”

You explained that you had made some cookies for him and Saeran looked as if he was about to cry

I mean you were both literally about to cry, Saeran because he was so moved and you because you had burnt the cookies a bit

Saeran kissed you and gently cupped your cheek in one of his hands

“Thank you. No one has ever cooked for me like this and...thank you. I love you, Y/N”

Then he takes a bite of the cookie and you laugh at the funny face he just made

He will definitely eat the cookies since you made them for him!

But next time he’ll help you lol

#mystic messenger #saeran choi #saeyoung choi #choi bois #jumin han #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #zen mys me #jihyun mysme #v mysme #mysme

48 notes · View notes

jawritter · 4 years

Text

A Thousand Years...

Chapter 6

Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave. How can I love when I’m afraid to fall. But watching you stand alone. All of my doubt suddenly goes away…..

Summary: A soulmate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master. – Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

A new town, a new job, and a new life, one that you didn’t even expect……

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Gino x Reader, Steve Carlson x Reader

Word Count: 1921

Warnings will include… Smut, language, unrequited/ requited love, cheating, and possibly more. This is brand new, so I will add to it as I know. Chapters will have warnings of their own if need be….

A/N: So my little cousin was watching breaking dawn in the living room, and I was folding clothes in the guest room… When the credits rolled and this song started, this fic hit me right in the face… I couldn’t escape it.

Fic Based on the Song A Thousand Years, by Christina Perri

Missed it so far or just want more in general? Check out my masterlist!!

*****MASTERLIST*****

****SERIES MASTERLIST*****

Two weeks later

It had literally been the longest two weeks of your life. It took hours after Jensen walked out of your door that day before you could pick yourself up off the floor, and by the time you did, you were slap exhausted. There was just nothing left in you. You'd cried it all out. You'd never been so lost. Never been so hurt. You couldn't wrap your mind around the gaping hole in your chest.

You'd heard about grief having gravity, that it pulled you down until there was just nothing left. You'd never understood that before, but you did now. You thought you'd felt loss when you were left standing at the altar. You thought you felt loss when you packed your car and drove away from everything that you'd ever know. You were wrong, so very wrong.

You didn't go to work for three days after, mostly because it took you that long to get up the guts to make your way downstairs to even look at the car he'd given you.

When you called in to work Jensen's lawyer showed up at your house to do the paperwork for you. That was tough in and of itself. You didn't know that man from Adam, but you didn't miss the way he looked at you, like he pitied you, like you were the side bitch Jensen was trying to pay off or the charity case that Jensen had picked up off the side of the road somewhere.

Your brother and sister-in-law couldn't understand why you were so down. They didn't know the whole story. You told them a short form of how Jensen was there when your car was taken away, he felt bad, so he'd brought you this one. They thought you should be over the moon, but your poor broken heart just couldn't fake it. It was just too shattered.

Your nights were filled for the first week with dreams of that hurt look on Jensen's face before he walked out of your apartment door. It was haunting you.

When you finally did go back to work and made your way down to the parking lot you cried from the point you laid eyes on your new wheels, to the point that you pulled into the parking lot of the brewery. Then you had to sit out in the parking lot for five minutes composing yourself before you could even walk in, using eye drops like a crackhead to hide the redness in your eyes so that no one would know that you'd been crying for almost four days straight.

Thankfully Jensen didn't show up to work that day, or the rest of that week, because you didn't know if you could handle it if he did.

The day he did show up to work he came in like he did every other time he'd been there, speaking to everyone, smiling, laughing, being his usual friendly self... To everyone except you. It didn't go unseen by Gino, who pulled you to the side later that day and asked you what happened between you and Jensen. You blew him off, telling him it was nothing, and he was looking into things that weren’t there.

You wondered how long he'd actually believe that.

You spent your lunch break hiding out in your car, the car that you honestly hated because it reminded you of the day you turned down the one thing you wanted more than you wanted oxygen, but you couldn't safely cry anywhere else without being caught. Every time he sidestepped you to wait on a customer, or reached around you like you weren't there to grab something instead of acknowledging that you were standing there and could have handed it to him, it was like he was twisting the knife that had been stabbed in your chest that day. The pain was almost enough to make you hit your knees.

You didn't know why you expected him to treat you any other way. You basically accused him of trying to use you as a side fuck. What did you expect? Him to fall at your feet, begging you to forgive him, fuck him, go on a date with him? He was doing what you wanted, staying away from you.

That is what you wanted...right?

Today had been worse than usual for you. For some reason today was just hard. A regular customer asked you why you were losing weight. You didn't even notice that you had lost weight. Then Jensen all but ran into you when you were coming out of the cooler with a fresh keg on the dolly, and you fell flat of your ass.

It was the first time he'd looked directly at you in two weeks. He didn't say anything, just blinked, then turned and stalked out of the warehouse. Steve came over to help you get back up, and make sure you were okay, trying to apologize for his friend's rude behavior.

You were standing against the counter right now, wiping it down, trying to do all you could not to cry like a little baby because of him. Even though you could feel the tears burning just under the surface, ready to make their way down your face as soon as you made it somewhere that wasn't around a ton of people around.

"Hey, Y/N I have a huge favor to ask you. Like I'll owe you forever and ever and you will be my most favorite person in the whole entire universe for life," Gino said, suddenly flopping down at one of the barstools in front of you, and momentarily snapping you out of your trance.

"Depends, you're really scaring me right now," you tell him, your voice laced with mock sarcasm.

"We have a charity event that the brewery is hosting tomorrow, and I really need you to come and help work it even though it’s your day off," Gino said in a rush like he was trying to get the question out before you could tell him no. "PLEASE!! I'll get on my knees if I have to!"

You closed your eyes for a moment and considered making Gino beg just so you could get a picture for later blackmail, but alas, you didn't have the time to make a decision before Jensen burst through the door of the office that you didn’t even know he was in, brushing past Gino and yourself with enough force to make you stagger backwards and Gino to jump out of the barstool.

"She will do it if she wants to keep this job. It wasn't a request," he barked before slamming the door, leaving you alone with Gino as Steve came to sit down opposite of you at the bar, eyeing his friend with an annoyed look as he walked briskly to his truck.

Apparently it was Jensen’s Idea that you work the charity event. Why didn’t he just come and ask you to do it himself?

The tears you had been holding back weld up again. Jensen had never spoken to you, or about you with that tone, and you didn't know how to take it. Did he completely hate you now? Had you fooled yourself into thinking you were anything more than a side fuck to him? Were you really that diluted?

"Hey, don't let that get to you. I don't know what the fuck his problem is, but I'm the one who hires and fires out here, and you're not going anywhere anytime soon," Gino said, reaching across the bar and patting you on the hand before walking around to where you were standing to take the empty kegs to the back.

"There will also be a pretty hefty bonus in your paycheck for doing this to make it worth you wild," he yelled before disappearing into the door, leaving you with Steve, who looked at you and gave you an apologetic smile.

"Looks like Gino doesn't know yet," Steve said as he watched you poor his usual in a glass before sliding it to him across the bar to him.

"Gino doesn't know what yet?" you asked with narrow eyes.

Steve had always been friendly enough when you saw him around the brewery, but this was the most he'd ever talked to you directly, especially when no one else was around.

"Danneel and Jensen separated this morning," he said, taking a swig of his beer, and watching you closely. "They're getting a divorce."

You stood there for a moment dumbfounded, unable to move. You just looked at him like he’d grown another head.

"Why? Why are they getting a divorce?" you asked him.

Steve shrugged his shoulders his gaze locked on yours as if he was waiting on you to spill whatever it was that was going on between Jensen and yourself. “No clue. There has been something going on there for a while now. They've been distant, nothing like they used to be. I don't think anything serious has happened because he did tell me that they would continue to co-parent and run this place together, so it must not have been anything too unforgiving. He's been really off for about two weeks." Steve finished his drink and stood, throwing his jacket back over his shoulders.

"I can tell you this much what you saw just now, that's not Jensen. I've known him for over twenty years. What you saw just now was stress. He will be here at the charity event alone, Danneel won't be attending, and from what I'm told there will be a young band here. All proceeds from the event will be going to a children's hospital here in Austin, so it's for a good cause. You won't even have to do that much, just serve a few drinks. It's already catered by some of the local places around here, helps them get their name out. So just try and enjoy it. I'll be there too. Jensen will be here as well, Gino, and a think Vickie, so it's not like you will be alone. I'll see you here tomorrow. Try not to stress over it too much okay?” Steve grabbed his keys off the counter and turned to leave. Stopping just shy of the door, turning around to face you again.

"Oh and Y/N, don't be so hard on Jensen, you might be surprised what you would see there if you take some of those walls down you got built up around yourself."

With that, he was out the door, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

Jensen's words rang loudly in your head as you got the broom and started to sweep the front. "You don't know as much as you think you do Y/N."

It made you wonder how much you didn't know, and if you made a horrible mistake by pushing Jensen away. What if he was there because he needed you? You didn't know what was going on at home, and you shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions as to his real intentions.

Gino was already packing the decorations out of the storage room, different flower arrangements, and things that would be placed on the tables for the event. It was going to be a long night that was for you.

The realization that you had possibly made a big mistake was playing over and over in your head like a broken record. What if you messed up the one chance you had with the one person in the world that made you feel the way you felt every time he walked into a room, all because of fear?

You were afraid to fall again. You could see it now plain as day. You were afraid. A coward.

It was only a question now of whether or not it was too late. You wished you could go back in time and take back everything that you said to Jensen that morning in your apartment. You'd never regretted anything in your whole life more than you did that morning.

Steves words ran loud in your ears as you climbed into bed for yet another sleepless night that night. "Don't be so hard on Jensen, you might be surprised what you will see there if you take some of those walls down you got built up around yourself."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List:

@deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @alanegaming

Series Tag List:

@prettydeaneyes

@fangirlxwritesx67

@ricanqueen20

@xhannahbananax03

@backseat-of-deans-67chevy

@infinityspacesuniverse

@stoneyggirl

@dancingalone21

@perpetualabsurdity

@fuzzycloudsz

@maralisa124

@kalesrebellion

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fic #jensen ackles smut #jensen x you #jensen x reader #jensen ackles series #SPN fanfiction #SPN Fanfic #SPN #dean wichester #jawritter #a thousand years

125 notes · View notes

bambikisss · 4 years

Text

Cafe Rewind

Hey everyone! Here is the first chapter of the series! I’m so excited to keep writing this and post it. This took me a bit, but i’m proud of it. Enjoy!

~<3

Chapter 1

I don’t even know why colleges feel like they need to take so much money from their students, but they do. But not only that, they don’t even do that well.

Hence why I'm applying to jobs right now to pay rent.

You see, I used to live on campus, like every freshman does, when my roommates started bringing over their boyfriends. After a while, I got super uncomfortable with how many times they had sex in the room, along with every time I’d walk in on them. I decided that I would live off campus to make sure that I would never have to go through that experience again. I used all my money to look for the perfect place and design it. But now that school is starting again and I got my supply list, I realized something:

I’m really broke.

“Why are there so many jobs offered on campus?” I asked myself, scrolling through the open jobs before sighing aggressively. To be able to work on campus, you must LIVE on campus, which no longer applies to me. Deciding that I've spent enough time on this, I got up and stretched, closing my laptop, grabbing my phone and a hoodie before walking out the door. I need to walk to think straight so that I don’t throw my laptop across my living room. Another reason I chose my apartment was because it was close to a café named “Cafe Rewind”. I used to love coming to that café after classes and getting a nice latte, but I stopped when I moved and decided to rely on Starbucks.

Big Mistake. I got sick from that place and their prices drained my bank account dry.

Before I opened the door, I noticed a sign by the window the words “Help wanted.” Like a truck, it hit me hard: I could just work here.

I walked inside, smiling immediately at the familiar atmosphere before walking to the counter to order a drink and maybe bring up the sign outside. The minute I reached the counter, I noticed to guys yelling and pointing to the faucet. “How could you break this, Yugeom?!” The older man yelled at who I assumed to be Yugeom, even though he was much taller than him, so he had to look up. “I didn’t, Hyung! That was totally you! I was making myself an iced coffee!” Yugeom said back before sighing and fiddling with the faucet some more. I’ve never seen them before. They must be new.

“Excuse me, miss” I snapped out of staring at the two men before turning around to face another man, who looked about my age. He had a piercing under his eyebrow, black fluffy looking hair, and a slight stubble on his face. “We aren’t open yet. How did you get in?” He asked, tilting his head slightly to see over my head and look at the two men who were still yelling about the faucet. “Oh, sorry. The door was unlocked so I just thought I’d walk in.’’ I sound like a creep. He smiled at me, showing a bit of his teeth before motioning for me to follow him to the counter. He had a messenger type bag with him, that he put on the counter. “I, um, also saw the sign outside” I whispered. I was trying to figure out a way to bring it up to him. He looked so scary. “The help wanted sign?” he responded, tapping stuff on the tablet.

Huh, guess he herd me.

I nodded, feeling my cheeks heat up from embarrassment. He looked up at me before looking over my body slightly. It made me feel like I should have worn something else due to how his gaze looked. Once his eyes met mine, he smiled softly, his gaze also softened. “Ok, follow me to the back” he opened the door beside the counter before walking in, holding it open for me to follow him. I followed him, even though I felt like I was being kidnapped. The room was their break room, apparently, which had a couch, vending machine, along with a table that also looked broken, but glued back together. The only thing that was on it was a plastic bottle with a random flower in it (which also looked fake).

He sat down on the couch and patted a spot next to him, which is where I sat. There was a moment of silence before I noticed his name tag. “Jaebum?” I asked, looking up at him. He looked shocked for a second before realizing where I looked. “Yeah, but it’s spelled wrong. Its j-a-e-b-e-o-m" I nodded before holding my hand out for him to shake. “I’m Y/N” he smiled before shaking my hand. “That’s a pretty name” his voice seemed deeper than earlier, which made me shiver a bit. ‘’So, have you worked in a café before?’’ he asked me, making me remember the fact that this was probably an interview. “Yeah. I worked at my mom’s café called ‘Blue Rose’. I worked there for 4 years” Jae seemed very interested in what I was saying and didn’t stop me when I stopped talking. I was about to add more information when I heard an alarm on his phone go off. “Shit, morning rush. There’s an apron on the coat rack. Go wash your hands and help me while stupid one and stupid two play around with the faucet that I’m pretty sure Jackson broke. He even broke the table by trying to sit on it” He rushed before running out the door.

Well, that went well.

I grabbed the apron and rushed out the door like Jae did, sliding behind the order station. When I looked down at it, however, I noticed it needed a password.

Of course, it does.

Before I could say anything, Jae must have noticed my confused face because he yelled “it’s Noralove33.” I quietly giggled while typing it in. Whoever Nora is, she’s so lucky. The minute I finished typing it in, a group of people came in; about 9 of them came in...and ordered...

All at once.

“I’m sorry, I can’t understand any of you. Do it one at a time” I sounded like a preschool teacher, but whatever. Once I got their orders, I handed it to Jae, who took it and began making drinks as quickly as possible. As quickly as I ordered, he finished and placed it on a tray and called the group’s table number. “That was so fast, Jaebeom” he smiled at my compliment before rubbing the back of his neck. “Thanks, I do this a lot.’’ I was about to say something when Yugeom, one of the faucet guys, walked over to us. “Mark hyung said he’ll fix the faucet when he comes in... who's the noona” he pointed to me while whispering to Jae. He chuckled and flicked Yugeom’s ear. “This is Y/N. She is going to be working with us from now on.” Yugeom bowed before rubbing his ear. He seemed so much younger than Jaebeom did. “You don’t have to call me noona. I’m 20. I’m in college right now” I smiled at him. His eyes grew bigger as he smiled. “We are too! What’s your major, Y/N? Favorite teacher? Dorm room number?” he was asking questions so quickly that I couldn’t keep up. “Yah, you’re scaring her, and morning rush isn’t even over yet.’’ They both seemed so nice and calm. While we were talking, Jackson came over and, much to his disliking, was trying to explain the table incident to me. I worked the rest of the morning before Jaebeom tapped my shoulder as a man with black hair, a blue shirt, and jeans walked in. “That’s boss Jinyoung. Be nice.’’

Boss Jinyoung?

“Hello Jaebeom. You said there was a newbie?’’ His voice seemed deep, almost like a grandpa or dad's voice. Jae patted my shoulder softly. “I trust her. She seems fast enough.” Boss Jinyoung nodded before handing me a packet and looked back at Jae. “Tell Jackson to stop breaking things.’’ Then, he walked out. I looked down at the packet, noticing the contract. “Hurry up and sign it, Y/N. I have to go to class in a few minutes and I can’t let you keep that.” he chuckled while taking his apron off. I looked up at the time and gasped. “You too?” I nodded as he helped me take mine off. “I’ll take you. Consider it a thank you for wanting to work here and helping me with morning rush.” I looked back down at the packet and grabbed a pen off the counter. My eyes were drawn to the bold words above the signature line:

Dating is not allowed.

I gulped before signing. I hope everyone else here isn’t extremely attractive (besides Jaebeom, Yugyeom, and Jackson). I handed the packet back to Jae before we began walking out the door. I noticed the ‘Help Wanted’ sign was taken down. “You work here now, Y/N. We don’t need anyone else” he told me before opening the door for me. I walked outside and noticed the weather was better and warmer than this morning. “Well, what are you waiting for?” Jae asked me, walking to his sleek black car. “Get in. I promise I drive better than I sing” I laughed before getting into his car. The inside was very sleek and clean. I noticed some R&B albums on the backseat as he got in. “You listen to R&B? I LOVE that genre.” I smiled before grabbing a CD. Jae had already started the car and began driving when I opened it. “You can put it in if you like.” I put it into the CD player before closing my eyes and listing to the singer and the beat. “I’ve never heard this artist before, but I love it. Who are they?” the CD cover didn’t have a name on it. All it said was ‘Volume 3.’ “That’s me” Jae said, smirking at my shocked reaction. “You said you drive better than you sing! There’s no way this is you!” he nodded before turning the volume down a bit so he could only hear the beat and not his voice. He began singing, and his voice sounded just like the guy’s did on the song.

“Ok, so maybe this is you. What’s the song called?” He smiled before turning into the school’s parking lot. “Ring. I made it a week ago. Anyway, do you want me to drop you off near your class building?” He asked me while showing the security guard his school ID. I thought for a brief second about is offer. I wouldn’t have to walk and from here it’s far... “Please do” I cringed at my request as he laughed. “Please do? Are you royalty or something?” I rolled my eyes before telling him the building number. I felt kind of sad when he pulled up to my building, but then he pulled into a parking space and parked the car. “Your building is near mine. Do you want to get lunch with me after class?” I could feel my cheeks heat up a bit before nodding. He made me feel like I was in 5th grade, crushing on a boy.

Stop thinking like that...you can’t even date him...he has Nora.

“Sure, but won’t Nora mind?” I asked, getting out of the car. He let out a big laugh as he locked the door. “Nora? My cat? Why would she mind?” I could feel the embarrassment hit my face as he said that.

His cat...ugh, I'm jealous over a cat. That’s a new low, Y/N L/N.

I started walking to my building while Jae called from behind me. “Where are you going, Y/N? Want to talk more about Nora?’’

“Meet me out here after class! Bye!”

#got7 #got7 im jaebeom #got7 imagines #got7 mark #Im Jaebum #JYP #jackson wang #got7 jackson #mark tuan #park jinyoung #got7 jinyoung #choi youngjae #got7 youngjae #got7 bambam #kim yugeom #got7 yugyeom #cafe rewind

64 notes · View notes

imaginetrahs · 4 years

Text

4. Is this a date or what?

Solana

This morning I woke up around nine o'clock and stayed in bed for a while. Oscar wasn't coming until 12:30 and currently it's only 10.

I got out bed with a heavy sigh, and walked to my closet looking for an outfit. I wanted to look good but not like I'm trying too hard. However, I don't want to look like I didn't try. I decided on a cropped thin strapped tank top with ripped jeans and a light flannel shirt. I looked in the mirror and paused thinking about the weather. I checked my phone and it said 85 degrees. I went to change my outfit, but took a picture first. I ended up trying on three different outfits, took pictures of them, and then sent them to the group chat before hopping in the shower.

Real Hot Girl Shit 🤪

Hot Girl Lana

Which one 😭

Read 10:15

Hot Girl Brae

The first one is really cute but so is the third one 😗

Sent 10:18

Hot Girl Ziy

Where are you going 🤔

Sent 10:20

Hot Girl Lana

Out with Oscar 😬

Read 10:50

Hot Girl Brae

Hot Girl Ziy

Hot Girl Brae

Hot Girl Lana

Ok it is not that serious 🙄

Read 10:58

Hot Girl Ziy

Actually it is

Read 11:05

Go with fit 3 bitch

Read 11:05

Hot Girl Lana

Thanks 😊

Read 11:08

I promise to tell y'all everything later

Read 11:10

After punching the air a few times I got dressed and put some mousse on my braids to lay down any flyaways. I didn't do any special makeup just my eyebrows, some lashes and some lip gloss. I walked out of my room to see Jamal sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Where are you going? Did you put sunscreen on because last time you didn't you got burned and then you cried and had me rub aloe all over you and I don't want to do that again." He got up to put his bowl in the sick and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Yes Jamal, damn." I walked around him to the fridge to grab a water.

"Where are you going?" He continued watching me from the counter.

"Out." I sat on the couch and turned the tv on. Reruns of love and hip hop were on so I decided to just watched that until it was time to go.

"Where?" I sighed and threw my head back on the couch.

"What is this? And interrogation?" I tossed the remote on the coffee table in front of me. "You're not my dad! You always tryna hear something."

Jamal gave me a straight face and I couldn't help but bust out laughing. He did this to himself asking all these damn questions.

"Chill out J." I giggled to myself. "I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

He rolled his eyes and walked down the hall to his room. I stayed on the couch watching tv for the next hour. I was hungry but decided not eat because I'm pretty sure I'll eat with Oscar.

12:30 came and went, Oscar still wasn't here. I waited until 1 o'clock to text him, it's only been thirty minutes but Oscar is very punctual it's sickening. I checked my phone again and seen that my message was left on read.

I twisted my face up and locked my phone. I sunk into the couch thinking that maybe he's busy right now and him leaving me on read is his way of telling me he's still coming.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case, I've sat here for another two hours. I laid down on the couch still watching tv, upset. I heard Jamal come out of his room and into the living room.

"I thought you were going out." He came and sat on my back.

"Yeah me too." I groaned out from under him. "Do you wanna go out? Like to eat or something?"

"Really?" His whole face lit up at my question.

"Yeah," I giggled at him, "why wouldn't I be serious?"

He shrugged his shoulders and got up to put his shoes on. I squint my eyes not believing him then got up myself to put my sandals on.

Before leaving I made Jamal take a picture with me for Snapchat. I captioned it with a red heart and posted it. I grabbed my keys from the key hook and left with Jamal behind me. I waited in the car while he locked the front door and pulled out when he got in the passenger seat.

"Where to brother?" I glanced at him but still kept my eyes on the road. Safety first.

"Let's go to the state fair." I stopped at a red light and looked at him surprised.

"Are you sure because last time you told mom and dad you were going to sue them for child endangerment." I laughed and pulled off to get on the freeway.

"I'm a new man now. I'm stronger," he flexed his arms to show his nonexistent muscles, "I'm taller."

"Right." I nodded at him slowly. "We'll see how much of a 'new man' you are when it's time to get on rides."

For the rest of the drive we sung most of the songs that came on Spotify together. Moments like these are my favorite because as we get older we started to drift apart doing our own thing.

About 45 minutes later we parked and hopped out to get to the ticket booth. It was almost 4 o'clock and the park didn't close until 8 so we had some time. For Christmas last year we were gifted membership passes so we didn't have to pay as much and I'm so thankful for our rich family members.

Looking around the park we tried to decide what we wanted to do first. I haven't eaten yet and I was super hungry, like hungry hungry. I looked around for the food truck that I wanted. They served these really, really good buffalo chicken calzones and then I would just get a bucket of fries from another truck and fried Oreos from another. Be honest, who comes to fairs to ride rides because I don't, I come to eat.

Jamal and I sat at one of the free tables and he watched me eat with a disgusted face.

"You know none of that is good for you and with the pace you're eating at, you're bound to choke." He stopped talking abruptly. "I'm not CPR certified." He whispered to himself.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh come on J, chill out. It's like I have to constantly tell you this. Enjoy and indulge in this while you can because once we go back to school it's back to eating prison food."

"I'm pretty sure school food is better than prison food." I huffed and stopped eating.

"That's not the point." I wiped my mouth with the napkins I grabbed. "My point is, enjoy yourself. You're too uptight to be only 14, that's not good. It gives you grey hair early."

"Fine." He sighed and went to reach for my food but I moved it out of his reach.

"What are you doing? All of these vendors and food trucks, and you want my food?" I looked at him like he had two heads. "Go get your own, loser."

We've been at the fair for almost four hours and we've ate and played more games than we can count. So far we've won a huge unicorn, big enough for me to sit on, a huge pillow pet and just a bunch of small and medium sized stuffed animals. Since we weren't ready to go yet, I put all of the prizes in a storage locker until we left.

"You ready to go yet?" I looked at Jamal and he looked like he was ready to pass out, truth be told me too. We've been walking around for hours, bumping into people and vice versa, quite frankly I'm tired of it.

"Yeah, you?" He looked back at me and I nodded back at him.

"Let's get a funnel cake before we go?" We both stood up and walked to find the booth that sold funnel cakes. Eventually we found it and stood in line waiting for the few people in front of us.

From the corner of my eye I could see Jamal fidgeting like he wanted to say something. I could feel him glancing at me but not saying anything so I thought I should say something first.

"What is it J?" I turned to him a little, it was enough to let him know he had my full attention.

"What — I don't — what?" He stuttered out.

I pursed my lips and rocked on the heels of my feet waiting for him to tell me. "I don't believe you. So just tell me or rather, I don't know, ask me like a normal person."

He took a minute and finally asked me. "Who were you going out with today?"

I stared at him in disbelief, "that's what you wanted to ask me?" I snorted out a laugh. "I thought you were gonna ask for money 'cause you're in trouble or something. Jeez, J."

He huffed and moved up ordering the funnel cakes for us. I had a feeling he already knew the answer so I didn't bother answering it.

"Are you gonna answer me?" He handed me my cake and we started walking to the front of the fair to grab our things and leave.

"No." I led some guys willing to carry all of the prizes to my car. "I'm pretty sure you already know the answer so...you tell me." I put one hand on my hip while the other held the rest of my cake.

Once the guys were done I tipped them and got in the car. We had a long drive back home because of traffic and it's dark out and people don't know how to fucking drive.

"How did that even happen? Why him of all people?"

To be honest I don't even know myself. Yeah I had a crush on him and yeah he's attractive, very attractive whew. But, the lifestyle he lives is very dangerous, he's older than me, which isn't really a problem I'm eighteen, and he's not really someone my dad would want me to bring home.

"I don't know." I pulled onto the freeway. "It's a long story I guess."

"We got time."

We finally arrived home after I spilled my guts about my feelings for Oscar. Surprisingly Jamal didn't say anything about how I felt, because we all know he always has something smart to say.

"I know you're older and you're supposed to look out for me but, you're my only sibling," he took my hand in his, "and I just want you to be safe."

I nodded and squeezed his hand. "Of course. Always."

He nodded back at me and got out the car making his way into the house. My parents were home, I could see their bedroom light on.

I sat in the car for a little while longer not ready to get out yet. My phone went off in the cup holder telling me I had a text message. I looked at it and seen a picture from Braelyn. In the picture it was Oscar, who looked way too high to function, and a girl sitting on his lap. The picture was screenshot from Instagram and it was captioned "Mine 🤪".

I couldn't help but laugh, out of both humor and stupidity. I text back the group chat, "Lmfaooooooo. Bet.", and got out of the car and went inside. I'd get the stuffed animals tomorrow or something, right now I just want to go lay down.

"Hey babygirl." My dad hugged me as I walked in the house. "Jamal told me y'all went to fair. That was nice of you."

"Yeah I thought we should hang before school starts." I kicked my sandals off at the door and grabbed a water from the kitchen. "I'm gonna go to bed, I'm tired.

"Ok, I love you." I repeated it back and went to my room. Today has been a long day.

I changed my clothes and then got in bed. I put on Netflix for background noise and check my socials. There wasn't anything special but I watched Jamal's snap and noticed he posted a few pictures of us from the fair.

One picture stood out the most though. It was a picture of me playing the basketball game, I was mid shot with a big smile on my face. It was about 6:30 when it was taken because the sky was a pink-ish orange color and I looked like I was literally glowing. I screenshot it and posted it to my story and locked my phone.

I got another text and seen it was from Oscar. I rolled my eyes and opened it to leave him on read and went back to watching tv. I didn't have time for the tomfoolery, if he didn't want to hang today that's all he had to say instead he stood me up.

"Can I watch tv with you?" I looked up and seen Jamal standing at the door with a disgusted look on his face. "Mom and Dad are...busy and your room is the farthest."

I chuckled and made a space for him on the bed. He climbed in and we watched tv for the next 2 ½ hours. When Jamal got up to leave to his room I laid my head on his shoulder.

"You're my favorite brother."

"I'm you're only brother, Solana."

#oscar diaz #oscar diaz x oc #black girl oc #oscar diaz imagines #oscar diaz imagine #on my block #spooky diaz #spooky

27 notes · View notes

pregnantsecondo · 3 years

Note

36 37 n 38 for the music asks lyric section???

36. For obvious reasons, This December by Ricky Montgomery. Also Cartoons by Louie Zong (even though I’m not an artist, haha). And Nothing Worth Loving Isn’t Askew by Lemon Demon.

37. Big one for this one! We’re going to do Fate of the Stars by Tally Hall, which is the last song from the Good & Evil album. (I’ve been thinking a lot about this album in particular, sorry!)

“To leave from this tale follow closely ahead, prepare to exist by the living and dead.” I really like the idea of albums signing off in really cool ways, and this has a sort of evil vibe to it, like you’re going through hell or something.

“Too slow or too kind or too wary of those too at ease.” I just really like how this part sounds. It flows really nicely!

“Past all the buried expressions of then, sullen drawn eyes and expressions to mend. Continued through mirrors left broken to sing and be heard.” One word: trauma. (Or at least that’s what I took from this.)

“Though when it seems all the senses are lost to absurd.” Oop! Looks like symptoms of mental illness :(

Chorus time. “So the part where we are, trapped in active depart. In the fate of the stars. No, not one who we are. No control, pumping heart. Button pressed, mind in art. Mind control, mind restart.” I think the character is spiraling here. Later, in the second movement, this reflects that. I really like the second movement, it’s very chaotic and it leads to the most peaceful part of the song.

“To leave from the present with no source of sound. They laugh because silence is never around. Ignored and forgotten, the past may continue to breathe.” Again, trauma. I think the line “no source of sound” might be a reference to the tree falling thing. You know, if a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Maybe that’s just me, though. Probably is though. Genius offers no help. “They” might be a general they, as in peers, or a they, as in voices in the character’s head, real or not.

“Feared not a rest by this desolate friend, whose patience revealed what intent comes to send. With a stare in a hole in the world comes a list to be high. Above all the dark nested clouds that keep guard of the sky.” Tbh, I kind of hate this part. Not my favorite. I’m just going to skip it.

[RE chorus]

“Step onto the Ferris wheel, round for day and night. Lost in what’s forever more, complacent in its reasons for.” This happens after the second movement, and it’s arguably the most peaceful moment of the song (at least if you’re going by how it sounds). It could be a sign that the character is getting better (or is starting to get better, even though it feels like a Ferris wheel, moving in a circle. I always tend to look on the bright side of things.)

“Give & take & sleep & wake &, pray for day & night to come, Again we see there’s certainty in, Expectations all the same.” (Ignore the misplaced comas, I had to put them there because of the way it’s paced) Another & illusion (haha). Anyway, I think Fate of the Stars is about mental illness and trauma.

38. Red Signal by The Mechanisms. Also Two Trucks by Lemon Demon. /j

#asks #part of this was a joke #most of it was not I was serious about fate of the stars #should I tag tally hall?

1 note · View note

daggerzine · 4 years

Text

Ray Farrell on music and his time at SST, Blast First, Geffen and many more.

Ray Farrell has had a lifetime surrounded by music. First as a fan as a young kid and then eventually working for a series of record labels. He’s obviously a fan first and foremost as you can tell by reading below. It also seemed like he was there at the beginning of some major music scenes happening.

I had met Ray very briefly at one of the A.C. Elks hardcore shows that Ralph Jones put on in Atlantic City in the Summer of 1985 though Ray doesn’t remember it (honestly, a bunch of us were standing in a circle and chatting so I’m not even sure if any proper introductions were done).

Anyway, knowing some of the record labels that Ray had worked for I wanted to hear the whole story. I contacted him and shot him some questions and he was more than happy to elaborate and let us know where he’s been and where he’s going. Take it away, Ray!

Where did you grow up?

RF-Jersey City and Parsippany, New Jersey in the 60/70’s. I have two younger brothers.

What did you listen to first…classic rock or stuff earlier than that?

RF-Rock wasn’t classic yet. My earliest memories of music are my parents’ modest collection of 45’s and grandparents’ 78’s. My mom had a handful of singles on Chess and Satellite (pre-Stax) that she said fell off a truck. We rented our house from a family connected to the mob. The records probably came from them. My mom and her sisters often sang Tin Pan Alley era songs at family gatherings. Harmony was encouraged!

Some records I heard as a toddler stayed with me forever. Lonnie Donegan’s “Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor?” is a skiffle classic. Chuck Berry’s “Guitar Boogie” and “Last Night” by the Mar- Keys are still favorites. I remember being spooked by the overblown production of the “Johnny Cash Sings Hank Williams” e.p. on Sun Records. In the mid 60’s, my mom had top 40 radio on in the house unless my dad was home. When I was in kindergarten, a high school neighbor in our building babysat me for a couple hours after school a few days a week. Her girlfriends came over regularly. They listened to a lot of doo-wop, which I still love today. The babysitter and her friends taught me how to slow dance, even though I wasn’t nearly a full grown boy. J

My best friend in 7th grade was a Beatles fanatic and we immersed ourselves in decoding clues to the “Paul McCartney Is Dead” gimmick. That was a brilliant scam and a fun short term hobby. It was a deep dive into The Beatles music as a junior music detective. By the time I started buying records, The Beatles were on their way out.

I happily lived for many months on only three albums-

CCR’s “Bayou Country”, Iron Butterfly’s “In A Gadda Da Vida” and the Beatles “Sgt. Pepper.” I joined the Columbia Record Club. I got the first twelve albums for one buck. That was a popular scam. Those first twelve records shaped my taste because they were the only records I had. I didn’t know what to order but I chose very well in retrospect. After that, I bought a lot of records. I didn’t smoke, but many of my friends did. A carton of cigs cost the same as an lp- 5 bucks.

I learned in 7th grade that if I knew the songs that girls liked, we would have something to talk about. Girls loved Tommy James and The Shondells and The Rascals. I still do! I had a wider range in music taste than most of my high school friends. Everyone in my extended circle loved the Stones, Neil Young and the Allman Brothers. In a tighter circle we were into David Bowie, Lou Reed, Sparks, Todd Rundgren etc. I loved Mountain, Led Zep, Hendrix, Budgie, The Kinks, Alice Cooper, Sabbath. At first, The Stooges seemed too deep and serious for me. A little scary because I thought if teenagers felt like this all over the world, I’m doomed. I bought the album with “Loose” and played that song for weeks before listening to the rest of it. The girl next door had Iggy’ s “Raw Power” album the week it was released. When glam rock was happening in England, there was a weekly NYC radio show that played the Melody Maker Top 30 singles. I was fascinated by T.Rex, Slade, Hawkwind. I don’t recall if prog rock was a tag yet, I knew that I didn’t like songs that rambled on for more than 7 minutes. There were exceptions of course- some King Crimson, Yes, Mahavishnu. I was impressionable. Radio station WBAI hosted “Free Music Store” concerts with local acts. One show was a keyboard group called Mother Mallard that had banks of synthesizers on stage. They were similar to the music of Phillip Glass and Steve Reich, who you would only hear on that same radio station. I talked myself into buying their records, but it took years to comprehend them. I was too young to be listening to such serious stuff. I played soccer and ran track for a couple years. During meets at other schools, I made friends. At parties I heard Issac Hayes, Bohannon and James Brown records. Brown was all over top 40 radio. Rhythm guitar was my jam! Soul and funk records were best for that. I spent many nights listening to AM radio. The signal travels farther at night, so I’d listen to stations far away. It didn’t matter what kind of music it was. Some of my relatives had short wave radios. I was more interested in radio production than short wave content. The production quality has not changed much since then. It often sounds like broadcasts trapped in the ether for the last 30 years.

While I was in high school, it was common for local colleges to host rock and jazz concerts for low prices, sometimes free. The schools had to spend the money sitting in the student union coffers. There was a live music club in my town called Joint In The Woods. The venue began as a banquet hall that doubled as a meeting hall for Boy Scout Jamborees and the like. When it became the Joint, it was a disco. The first night of live music was a show with Iggy & The Stooges. The regular disco patrons were pissed! The guys were mostly goombah’s in Quiana print shirts and bell bottoms. Three or four guys smacked Iggy around after his set. Sure enough, he played Max’s Kansas City the next night as if nothing happened. Because of this club, touring bands were suddenly playing in my town. Badfinger, Roy Wood’s Wizzard, Muddy Waters. The NY Dolls were scheduled but didn’t show up. Springsteen was often an opening act. The N.J. legal drinking age had just lowered to 18. It was a great time. I was still in school, so I wasn’t staying out on weeknights.

I was determined to learn NYC music history by hitting all the Greenwich Village clubs and talking to the owners and bartenders. It didn’t matter what kind of music they specialized in- I was into the vibe. There were occasional scary nights parking near CB’s or jazz spots in that neighborhood. Folk music was on FM radio at the time. A high school friend booked a local coffee house called Tea & Cheese. Mostly locals and ambitious tri-state artists. Martin Mull, Aztec Two Step, Garland Jeffries. Some of Lou Reed’s touring band, The Tots, played there. I went to all kinds of record stores, mainly those that sold rock imports and cutouts. I was fascinated by the street level buzz of a record. In ’74, I heard dub reggae for the first time. The only stores to get that music were in Queens because there was a strong West Indian community there. It may have been the “Harder They Come” soundtrack that got me started. There was a “pay to play” radio station in Newark - WHBI. DJ’s had to buy their airtime. Arnold “Trinidad” Henry had a weekly show playing new calypso and reggae. He was more into calypso than reggae. A lot of calypso was political and comical. Arnold was fascinating! There was often a personal crisis he’d talk about on the air. My favorite incident was when he said that his life had been threatened during the program, so he locked himself in the studio.. Someone called the cops. They convinced him to unlock the door. He just wanted more airtime. Arnold played the first reggae dub track I’d heard- full dub albums were a new concept at the time. Most dub was found on the flipsides of reggae 45’s. One of the shows sponsors was Chin Randy’s Records in Queens. I trekked out there by train to buy my first dub records. That was a trip! Randy Chin’s family went on to start VP Records.

What was the first alternative/independent music you got into? How did it happen (friends? older siblings?)

RF-The term “punk” as a music style hadn’t been coined yet. I vaguely recall equating “punk” with the great “Nuggets” compilation or something Greg Shaw might have writ in Bomp Magzine. I didn’t identify labels as independent. I knew that if the label design was simple and the address was listed, it was probably a small company. There were plenty of record stores carrying obscure stuff. I bought import records from a few NYC stores. I took the bus in until I was old enough to drive. One store Pantasia, was up in The Bronx. I went there one Christmas eve day to get the import of the second Sadistic Mika Band album. The clerk talked me into buying the harder to find first album as well. He said it sounded like Shel Talmy produced it. I knew who that was and it was a revelation to talk to somebody in a record store at that level. That is what a record store should be! I read Phonograph Record magazine, Bomp and Trouser Press regularly. Patti Smith and Television self released their debut singles- those are the first “indie” records I bought, followed by the first two Pere Ubu singles. I remember hearing the Modern Lovers’ “Roadrunner” from the Bezerkley Chartbusters comp on WFMU and thinking that there must be more music like that. It was refreshing.

Seeing Patti Smith and Television perform at CBGB’s changed my life. I connected the dots. I had BÖC albums on which Patti had co-writes. She had a poem insert in Todd Rundgren’s “A Wizard, A True Star” album. She read a Morrison poem on a Ray Manzarek lp. She wrote for rock music mags with distinctive style. I read a brief story about her in the Voice and went to see her do her annual Rock N’ Rimbaud show. Shortly after that she and Television played CBGB’s for six weekends in early ’75. Both bands were really great. Patti didn’t have a drummer yet. Richard Hell was a big inspiration to me. He looked cool. He played bass like he just picked it up the month before. That was a new concept. Television changed bass players in the middle of the residency. Television was the first band I saw with short hair and they dressed like teenage delinquents circa 1962. The CBGB’s jukebox had a good number of 60’s garage records. In my head I conceived Television to be inspired by that music. Made sense to me- Lenny Kaye, who assembled the “Nuggets” comp, is in the PSG. When I went back to see Television headline, The Ramones opened. Seeing The Ramones again, Talking Heads opened. It seemed like the streak of seeing great new bands would not end. They were distinctly NYC sounds. They could not have merged anywhere else. I remember avoiding the band Suicide because I didn’t think the music could be good J. Bands like Tuff Darts, Mumps and The Marbles opened shows but I wasn’t thrilled by them. A CBGB’s band that doesn’t get mentioned much is Mink DeVille. They wore matching outfits like they were playing a low budget Miami dive in 1962J. The club still had the small corner stage. The p.a. was ok and the bands had small amps. The music wasn’t loud in a “rock” way. You could sit at a table right in front of the band. Although we consider the club a birthplace of punk, the club showcased local bands that had been around for a while. I think the club upgraded the p.a. once before building the big stage. I realized at that point that when a band was great or at least interesting live, the records were basic documents of the band’s sound.

What was your first job in the music scene/industry?

RF- Before realizing I wanted to be in the business, I hounded import mail order guys on the phone about non-lp b-sides and albums that weren’t released stateside. I was fascinated by the process. Why were some records not in stores even though they had local airplay? My dad did not listen to much music, but he had an army buddy that made a living in Al Hirt’s band. He came to our house once. He gave my dad a copy of John Fahey’s “After The Ball” album, which he played on. I liked his stories about the session man side of the business. Fahey treated him well. I was generally shy, but when it came to music I would approach anyone I thought I could learn from. I heard horror stories about the music biz in NYC but learned later that those were a mob related labels. At the time, I thought the entire NYC music biz might be that way. I planned to move to California anyway. In high school, I go-fer’d at local Jersey radio stations and talked my way into meeting a few top FM radio dj’s. I thought I wanted to be a professional dj, but my dad wisely talked me out of that. The itinerant radio jock life would not be for me. It was a racket.

In ’76, I took a long low budget cross country trip with my high school sweetheart. Along the way, I stayed in Memphis for three weeks with a cousin who was stationed at the Millington naval base. Got a job at a hip movie theatre that served liquor. I found Alex Chilton in the phone book and spent an afternoon talking with him. I wasn’t yet legal drinking age in Tennessee. It amused him that a fan showed up in his town who was not old enough to drink. En route to Cali, Tulsa, OK was on my route to find Shelter Records and studio , but it shut down and the label moved to L.A. At the time, Dwight Twilley’s “I’m On Fire” was a radio hit. I didn’t think there were still bands like that. Twilley was from Tulsa, but had moved to L.A. by that time.

When I arrived in L.A. I visited small label record company offices. A few offered me jobs or references. I spent two weeks crashing at the Malibu house of a distant family friend. I didn’t want to live in L.A. but I was encouraged by the opportunities. I got a job at the famous record store- Rather Ripped in Berkeley, CA.

Patti Smith told me about Rather Ripped before I left Jersey. In ’75, she and her band went to California for shows in L.A. and Berkeley. The northern Cali shows were set up by the store. She did a poetry reading there. This is well before “Horses” was released. I bought a couple records from the store’s Dedicated Fool mail order service. They had a monthly catalog on newsprint. Thousands of records in tiny font. Every record was described with a few words. This is 1976 and punk rock was just getting started. I worked as a prep cook in a charcuterie associated with Alice Waters’ famous restaurant Chez Panisse. The proprietor knew the record store owners. I wasn’t actively looking to work there, but I talked about music all day every day. They fast tracked me for an interview. Because of a scheduling mistake, Tom Petty interviewed me for the job. His first album just came out and “American Girl” was close to being a hit single. The band came to the store before a local show. Tom overheard the owner apologizing for not being able to do the interview, so he offered to conduct it. It was great. I knew all about his label, Shelter Records. I deliberately avoided talking about The Ramones and Patti Smith because punk was new and against the grain. At the end of the interview Tom told the owners that if he lived in Berkeley, he’d buy all his records from me. The store owner still had to interview me formally the next day, but I knew that I nailed it.

It was owned by two dynamic gents that were connected to Berkeley society and Bay Area journalists. They weren’t typical record store guys. They celebrated the 70’s in the moment. They held court with well known music scribes, musicians, dj’s. They were good friends of The Residents. Perhaps my strangest story is meeting The Residents with the Rather Ripped owners at a S.F. Irish bar that specialized in Irish Coffee’s. I had only recently heard of the group, so I was not cognizant of their marketing myth. At the bar, we were with our girlfriends and wives. One of the Residents tried to convince me and my gf to go back their place for a hot tub session. I laughed out loud and said “geez, what a bunch of hippies”! We didn’t go. In retrospect, I should have gone on the condition that they wore eyeball heads in the tub. At that time, The Residents rarely performed live, but they did in 1975 for the store’s birthday party. The early Bezerkley Records (Jonathan Richman, Greg Kihn) was distributed to stores through Rather Ripped. Their office was a few blocks away. At the store, each employee had unique music taste and expertise. Pop music was changing rapidly with a new energy. Some of us were tapped into it. We all had to know the key new releases in every genre because we were tastemakers. Major labels would beg us to do window displays for new releases. But if they could not find a store employee that liked that artist, it was no go. So, no Pablo Cruise window display. We weren’t against major labels, but we put a lot of energy into selling the ton of music that we loved. Our focus was on imports, indies, promos and cut outs where we could get a good price mark up. We had a rare record search service with customers all over the world. We’d find rare records through trade-ins and by combing record stores all over the state.

There were a few import distributors, but they weren’t hip to many small run U.S. independent releases. That was understandable because bands didn’t often press enough records for a distributor to get excited about. In other words, why spend half your day hunting down records that were only pressed in small quantities. Just as they start selling, you’re out of stock. There gonna sell a hell of a lot more Scorpions’ picture discs! As always, some distributors financed exclusive re-pressings of records that had momentum. The only way to get records like Roky Erikson’s “Two Headed Dog” single or The Flamin’ Groovies’ “You Tore Me Down” 45 was directly through mail order. I wrote to label addresses listed in Trouser Press and fanzines to buy direct in order to sell them in the store with no competition. Major label sales reps didn’t prioritize us because we didn’t shift bulk units of the hits. However, we were so plugged in to the lesser known artists that we were a good place for record companies to try and start a buzz. We could swell 50-100 of a record that all the other stores sold a handful of. Bands showed up at the store while touring. Springsteen bought Dylan bootlegs from us by mail order. Patti Smith’s manager Jane Friedman used the store as a home base when Patti and John Cale came through the area.

Berkeley is in the East Bay of the S.F. bay area. A few months after starting at Rather Ripped, I realized that the city had a rich music scene well before punk /new wave started. There was Fantasy Records, a well known jazz r&b label but best known for CCR; Arhoolie, Solid Smoke, Metalanguage; the contemp classical labels- Lovely Music and 1750 Arch; folk and blues labels like Takoma and Olivia. Of course, bands like Chrome and others started labels to release their own music. Ralph Records was started by The Residents, and they began signing bands. Rather Ripped was also a center for improv, electronic and meditation records.

In ’77 or ’78 I joined the nascent Maximum Rock N Roll radio team. This was well before the magazine. In the early days there were weeks when we didn’t have enough new punk records to fill the two hour weekly show. Tim Yohannon was all about energetic, real rock n roll, so he filled in the program with records by Gene Vincent, The Sonics etc. BTW, Tim applied green masking tape to the three closed sides of every record he had. He gave me a Mekons double single he decided he didn’t like. It was in a gatefold sleeve that he sealed shut with his green tape! Sometimes he re-designed the cover art…never for the better. He made his own pic sleeves for 45’s that didn’t have them. Bands would stare at their own records in bewilderment. Tim was archiving the records of the entire punk and hardcore movement worldwide.

Eventually, Tim brought in Ruth Schwartz, and Jeff Bale as co-hosts- both great people. Jello Biafra was a frequent guest. Tim assembled the “Not So Quiet On The Western Front” lp and later organized syndication for the radio show. I remember hearing the first Disorder ep and thinking -this is the future! J It was exciting. But soon, most hardcore records sounded alike to me. It was like- “Do you want more fries with your fries?” I went to plenty of live shows without knowing a lot about the bands playing them. I was happy when the fashion trended away from jackboots to sneakers…getting a boot kick to the head in a stage dive could be brutal. I didn’t see a lot of skinhead violence at shows, but I know it was changing the scene.

San Francisco and Berkeley were important music centers, activist meccas as well as creative artistic and intellectual hubs. Yohannon had history as an activist. He identified with public protests for causes & social issues. For many teenagers, punk rock was a rite of passage. I think it changed a lot of kids’ lives for the better. The overriding message was to be civically aware of what is going on around you and what affects your life.

Tell me about your time at Arhoolie Records. Where was it located?

Rather Ripped’s owners had a falling out and the remaining owner just wanted to sell records and antiques with his wife. He moved it to a nearby city. Just before the store closed, he told me of an open position at Back Room Distribution, a division of Arhoolie. It was in El Cerrito, a small town north of Berkeley. Chris Strachwitz, the owner of Arhoolie is a legendary record man. He recorded many of his early blues albums with a tape recorder in his car. He owned the legendary Down Home Music store in the same building. Separated by partition behind the store was Back Room. It was an indie label distributor for blues, folk roots music. Rounder Records was still a new label at the time. I gotta admit, when Rounder issued The Shaggs “Philosophy Of The World’ I was in seventh heaven. I worked primarily for the distributor, grooming to be a sales rep but I spent a lot of time in the store. At first, I didn’t yet relate to blues and country music. But there were a lot of touring artists in those styles making a living. It was a strong network of clubs, fans, radio shows and press that fueled it. The store had an incredible selection of obscure 50’s/60’s rockabilly and garage band comps. The Cramps were my favorite band at the time. The rockabilly comps mostly on a the Dutch White Label, were treasure troves of insane songs. My heart was in new music- whatever you wanna call it, punk, new wave, art music. That’s the business I wanted to be in. I used my time to learn more about distribution operations. The people that worked at Arhoolie and in its community were fun music heads. There were a lot of good musicians among them. It was a great time to live in Berkeley.

What was next, Rough Trade and CD Presents? Was that in San Francisco? I went to that Rough Trade store a few times and it was an amazing store.

I knew folks from Rough Trade UK because I bought imports from them to sell @ Rather Ripped. When they wanted to open in the U.S. they contacted me, but at the time the wage was low and there wasn’t enough space to work. I was interested in working in the distribution division, not the store. They speiled something about it being a socialist business. I stayed at Arhoolie for a little while longer. In the meantime, I was offered my own weekly late night radio show on Pacifica’s KPFA in Berkeley- same station as Maximum Rock N’Roll. I took over a show called “Night Sky”, an ambient music program. My interim program title was “No More Mr. Night Sky” until I settled on “Assassinatin’ Rhythm”. The station’s music director was a contemporary classical composer closely associated with avant -garde and 20th century music. A major segment of my show was for industrial, post-punk and undefinable music. I hosted a few live on- air performances with Z’ev, Slovenly and Angst among others. Negativland’s “Over The Edge” program started on KPFA around this time. KPFA was 100,000 watts of power with affiliate stations covering the Central Valley down to Fresno and Bakersfield.

When the time was right, I moved to Rough Trade’s U.S. distribution company in Berkeley. The record store was in San Francisco. We distributed a lot of British records sent by Rough Trade UK, often in small quantities. Rough Trade US was set up to press and distribute select RT and Factory records by Joy Division, ACR, The Fall, Stiff Little Fingers, Crass. It was cheaper and more effective to press in the U.S and Canada. I also distributed some U.S. labels but there was one Brit on the staff that hated most American music. On top of that, it could be a dangerous place to work. One of the staff was importing reggae records and weed from Jamaica to our warehouse. The local connection was shot on his porch shortly after he picked up a shipment! I was lucky to spend a few days travelling with Mark E.Smith of The Fall. He loved obscure rockabilly and garage band records. I was able to return to Memphis for a while to prep the first Panther Burns album for release. Tony Wilson of Factory put up most of the money to keep RTUS going. He was a brilliant character, but I learned from talking with him how not to conduct business. I often got sample records from bands that wanted distribution. Pell Mell’s “Rhyming Guitars” e.p. was the start of my long association with the band. I enjoyed selling records to stores all over the country. I learned about local scenes, records, fanzines, clubs and college radio stations everywhere. Making these sources connect for touring bands and record sales was exciting. Because Rough Trade is British, we had the benefit of connections with club dj’s. We pressed and promoted New Order’s “Blue Monday” single on a shoestring budget. For a long time, it was the best kept secret from the mainstream. I left Rough Trade for Subterranean Records ( Flipper etc) for a spell while working in a record store. The guy that put up the money for the record store ran guns to Cuba through Mexico. Thankfully, not through the actual store. I booked Cali shows for Panther Burns, The Wipers, Sonic Youth, Whitehouse.

Who owned the CD Presents label? I remember that Avengers compilation.

It was owned by a lawyer, David Ferguson. He had a recording studio as well. I didn’t understand why he wanted to run a label. He did not have an ear for music. But we did release a Tales Of Terror lp! He almost released a DOA album that I thought the band would kill him over. Many years later I got into a fist fight with one of David’s employees in a limo ride shared with Ferguson and Lydia Lunch. We fought through the window separating the driver from the passengers. I would love to recreate that for a film. Good times!

My main role there was to set up the first Billy Bragg record in the U.S. Billy’s manager was the legendary Peter Jenner and both were great to work with. They were using CD Presents as a stepping stone to a major label. In the meantime, I knew a few people at SST. Joe Carducci is an old friend. He was pitching me to move to L.A. and work there, but I resisted for a while. I had just met the woman that I knew would be the love of my life. I didn’t want to move to SoCal. Joe gave me an ultimatum. He sent three advance cassettes that convinced me to go- Meat Puppets’ “Up On The Sun”, Minutemen’s “Double Nickels” and Huskers’ “New Day Rising” That’s an excellent recruiting strategy. I later married the love of my life.

On the side I booked shows for bands I loved. Gerard Cosloy asked me to book Sonic Youth first northern Cali shows. I also booked shows for The Wipers and noise band Whitehouse

Was SST Records next? How long did you last there and what was that like?

I was there for three years. “How long did you last there?” sounds like I was biding my time :) I’m often asked about my time with SST.

Carducci hired me to do PR. That meant publicity, college radio, regional press. Video was a valuable promo tool. MTV’s “120 Minutes” program was a great way to promote our records.

In 1987 we put out more records than Warner Brothers. By that time, I hired people to help.

I’ve done a number of interviews about SST. If you have specific questions, shoot. I recall that my social life was almost entirely with my co-workers and bands on the label. I was nearly oblivious to music from other labels. I was a big fan of Dischord and Homestead. Metallica, COC, Voivod and the Birthday Party/Nick Cave were my non-SST staples.

I think around this time I had met you briefly in NJ at one of the Elks Lodge shows that my old friend Ralph Jones put on. Were you living in NJ at that point or just visiting?

You’ve mentioned that before and I don’t recall the specific show. I moved out of NJ permanently in ’76. I came back for annual summer visits to NYC, north Jersey and Philly. Some high school friends went to Upsala College, then the home of WFMU. On my first visit back in ’76 I met Irwin Chusid and R. Stevie Moore. Some high school friends were connected to Feelies before they took that name.

Was Blast First! next? I met Pat Naylor once and hung out with her at a show and she was really sweet.

Yeah around the time I left SST, the folks in Sonic Youth called saying that they had left as well. They wanted me to be involved with Blast First! in the U.S. I knew Paul Smith because he released their albums in the UK. Blast First UK released a number of Touch N Go and SST records. The label was a division of Mute which had a U.S. deal with Enigma. My job was almost entirely “Daydream Nation” promotion. It was so much fun to be able to go deep with one album. We issued Ciccone Youth shortly afterward, which augmented the overall Sonic Youth story. The only other active touring band was Band Of Susans and on a limited level, Lunachicks and Big Stick. It was only one year of work before Enigma cut Mute/Blast First loose. I went on Sonic Youth’s Soviet Union tour and I had a few memorable meetings with Sun Ra. David Bowie called a few times asking about recording studios that Dino Jr and Sonic Youth used. Bowie had a brilliant idea to record Suicide’s “Dream Baby Dream” with Glenn Branca’s large guitar group. We tried following up on it but Bowie was immersed in Tin Machine and other projects.

Was it on to Geffen then?

Yes, Sonic Youth had good meetings with the label. I had recently met Mark Kates who was championing the signing. He suggested that I come in to meet the entire company. He brought my name up with David who said, “we need someone like that here”.

I had fleeting thoughts that working for a major was “selling out”...punching corporate clock. I wanted to apply what I knew on a larger scale.

What was that like, working for a proper major label? Was David Geffen still involved?

On my second day there, David called me into his office. He is down to earth, street smart. Like many of the best in the biz, he didn’t have an attitude. He had met with the Meat Puppets. He sensed that Dinosaur Jr. was important. I reminded him that I was not hired for a&r.

He said- “I don’t assign job titles. If you find something else you’d like to do here, you can pursue it ‘after 5pm’ ”. I found reissue projects like the Pere Ubu box and Raincoats catalog. I recorded a new Raincoats album. I signed Southern Culture On The Skids, Garrison Starr, Skiploader. I assembled and recorded Rob Zombie’s Halloween Hootenanny comp. With Sonic Youth, I pondered making records with John Fahey and Townes Van Zandt. After ten years, it was time to move on.

Tell us what you do now, didn’t you get involved with digital music at some point?

Geffen Records was folded into Interscope in 1999 and I was bored with the limitations of the business as it was. Digital music was gaining ground solely through illegal file trading on Napster. I knew there would be a major shift in the business moving to digital. I worked for the download site. eMusic.com, signing distribution agreements with labels. This was years before iTunes and YouTube. Major labels would not work with us because mp3 files are open source files that could be traded freely without control. They saw eMusic as a facilitator of illegal file trading. Like marijuana use leading to hard drugs! In the big picture, I knew that digital downloads weren’t “sexy”. But at some point, digital music would develop into something easier to track and use. We skipped the major labels. The bigger independent labels understood that digital music would be the future. It was a great place to be. I knew a lot of music, but I had no idea there were so many labels in every country. One label owner told me that I had the best job in the world. I knew that to explain this new unproven music format it could be an uphill climb. So I took the time to research label websites for song samples. That way I could find common ground with label owners. There’s surf music in Brazil? There’s a young female cellist duo in Prague that make energetic music? There’s archaic royalty rules connected to opera arrangements? Bring it on! It certainly changed how I listen to music.

It was a time when business rules and legal rights had to change in order to deal with digital income disbursement. For example, digital downloads could be sold by the song while royalty payments were based on album sales. eMusic was at the forefront of those changes. When iTunes launched, digital music was “legitimized”. Borne out of eMusic was RoyaltyShare which provides a royalty accounting platform for labels. It is now a division of The Orchard and I divide my time between The Orchard and RoyaltyShare.

Who are some current bands you are into?

A loaded question! I listen to a lot of new music. I spend a lot of time listening to records and cd’s in my collection. Of current artists, I really like Steve Gunn’s music. I listen to the projects involving members of Sonic Youth. Bill Nace, Kim’s partner in Body/Head is a guitar genius. Body/Head’s music is a cathartic experience for me. London is lucky to have Thurston Moore living and working there. I think the music they make separately is far more exciting that what Sonic Youth would’ve made if still together.

Lately I’m digging Melenas from Spain, Hayvenlar Alemi from Turkey. Quin Kirchner is a Chicago based drummer that put out a great jazz record in 2018 called “The Other Side Of Time”. I think he plays on Ryley Walker ‘s records.

Because I’ve spent so much time with the music of Sonic Youth, Branca and Rhys Chatham, I crave the occasional dive into instrumental symphonic guitar army and tonal stuff. Current favorites in that vein are Bosse De Nage, Pelican, Sunn O)))

Given the chance I’ll see any performance by Mary Halvorson, Ches Smith, Marc Ribot or Mary Lattimore.

It took me years to get it, but I’m now a big fan of Keiji Haino’ music. Dean McPhee is a British guitarist I really like. I just bought a couple of Willie Lane lp’s on Feeding Tube.

I research music history and the development of the industry. There are historical and social components of every type of music by culture, country, time period. I love stories about riots at premieres of new avant garde works. I read a book about famous classical composers in the 18th Century playing home concerts (salons) where people are talking the entire time…but they are paid handsomely for the performance. Streaming music sites and YouTube are vast repositories of music and cultural documentation.

Do you still make it out to many shows?

I go to two/three shows a month when I’m home and more when traveling especially NY/London. I start work early in the morning so I’m not out late often. I understand why people see less live music as they get older. I’m done with music festivals. The Big Ears Festival is the only Stateside event that might inspire me to stand for eight hours.

I always hear music by new artists that I really like. I don’t always go to see the live show. Sometimes I hear a new band that sounds like a band I liked 20 years ago. I wouldn’t deliberately see a band that uses another band’s sound as a template.

What are your top 10 desert island discs?

I cannot do 10. It’s 20 or nothing. If you say sorry Ray, it will be nothing. FineJ If I’m on an island, I’ll listen to the ocean waves and sounds of nature. If I’m relegated to a desert, I’ll listen to the blood coarsing through my veins.

Miles Davis- Kind Of Blue

Television- Marquee Moon

Peter Brotzmann- Machine Gun

Sex Pistols -Never Mind The Bollocks

Rolling Stones- Let It Bleed

Soundtrack – The Harder They Come

Billy Harper – Black Saint

Kleenex/Liliput- First Songs

Patti Smith Group -Easter

Hound Dog Taylor & The Houserockers- Houserockin’

Led Zeppelin- Houses Of The Holy

Sonic Youth – Daydream Nation

Elvis Presley- Sun Sessions

The Cramps- Songs The Lord Taught Us

Pell Mell -Flow

Procol Harum- A Salty Dog

Sibelius- Complete Symphonies

Lou Reed -Coney Island Baby

Meat Puppets- Up On The Sun

The Kinks- Kinks Kronikles

“Hmm....Flow or Star City?”

Any final words? Closing comments? Anything you wanted to mention that I didn’t ask.

I’ve been involved off and on with the artist Raymond Pettibon for a music project called Supersession. He has made records under this moniker before. This project began in 1990 and stalled for many years. We revived it a couple years ago. I play bass. Raymond wrote many pages of words and lyrics that he passed to the band, encouraging us to write music behind them. It’s different from Raymond’s other records because it is not improvised. Rick Sepulveda, our guitarist is a great songwriter and he wrote music for Raymond’s words. Rick sings a bunch of the songs because Raymond loves his voice. We did a NYC performance in November that was really fun. So now of course, I’m thinking we should play monthly in L.A. We are nearly finished with the album that we recorded at Casa Hanzo, the San Pedro studio Mike Watt owns with Pete Mazich. Raymond is a brilliant man; fun and inspiring to work with. When I practice with Rick, he’ll often break into a cover song deep in the recess of memory. Like John Cale’s “Hanky Panky Nohow” ,Kevin Ayers’ “Oh Wot A Dream” or the Doors “Wishful Sinful”. We may cover a Harry Toledo song. It’s a blast. I hope to have the album finished in July.

Tav, Bobby, Pell Mell and Ray

20 notes · View notes