#u will be the first to know

[apollos-boyfriend]

You should mpreg schlatt more . *hypnosis swirl*

scott i am so sorry but sadly it has already been canonized that divorceverse schlarklez had a couple’s vasectomy after adam’s birth. the people begged for it

#muse talk #softiestyx #when i cook up more elaborate schlarklez aus that aren’t just one-off shitposts tho. #u will be the first to know

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

#and also. am a ilittlel kitty :3 #mine #cats #brain empy. felt tip cats ONLY #we were promised snow today n then they decided actually :) rain all day for u #i bought new wool for a cardigan today im SO excited its gna be so colourful #i was going to do some sort of Thing on the back like a heart or something but im still too scared to do colour changing stuff #maybe....maybe next time #i think i will try a patter w like. an actual grid with it first rather than just rawdog it #bc i . do not know what im doing :3

[thebestestdancers]

why should palestinians have to leave behind their land because israel wont stop killing them. why should anyone have to leave behind their life and memories and sentimental value just because an aggressor is left unchallenged. please think this sentiment through and delete it from your thoughts. instead of blaming an oppressed people for living in a hostile land, ask who is making that land hostile to live in.

#this is vaguely worded except the first part because ive seen thsi sentiment time and time again #when the trans genocide began everyoen started blaming trans peopel for living in florida isntead of the people making it unlivable #every timw a cop kills a person of color everyones told to just move somewehre w better cops (doesnt exist) > #< rather rhan examine who gave the cops such pwoer and what use the cops are anyways #i know its rasier to blame the victims of this kind of thing. the oppressors deisgn it taht way and encourage that sentiment #but oleeeeeease im begging u. navajo peopel should not just give up their reservation bc it sucks. whyd the us put them there?

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

sick of this anti-aging obsession. let's go in the opposite direction. i want more characters who are hardened & grizzled & have a face lined with the harrowing tribulations of time--and then halfway through the narrative u find out they're 27

#they aren't even a chainsmoker or anything they just don't wear sunscreen are chronically dehydrated and have witnessed the Horrors #u know. like most of us #ideally we first meet them in a bar where they are guzzling from a tankard like a mysterious and dangerous stranger #later we find out it's not ale they're on a kombucha kick #they've been making it in their basement w/ the help of a college roommate who quit a biochemistry phd to become a beekeeper

[onejellyfishplease]

Behold! Shapes and Colours <3

#did mikey first and finished with donnie #you can see the number of shapes i added just GROW #i was doodling mikey and one of them came out really well #so i coloured it and then went #u know what could make this interesting? #FUCKIN #CIRCLES #then i went insane #rottmnt #rottmnt art #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie

[karoochui]

He wants to play UNO

#i love the idea of him just being in the vents #Do u know how terrifying that could be at first #Binary Resurgence #binary resurgence: round 2 au #fnaf security breach #fnaf daycare attendant #sundrop #fnaf sun #moondrop #fnaf moon #dca x reader #dca x y/n #moon x reader #moon x y/n #mikas stuff

[sanctus-ingenium]

A certain fisherman [...] went to the same place again to fish, and he put a row of hooks on his heels in case he met the Púca again; he attached them like a horseman's spurs. When evening drew near, he made a halter of the fishing-line for the Púca. The Púca met him the second time. He himself caught the Púca, put the fishing-line over his head like a halter, and started to ride him. He drove him wherever he wanted to go, and he kept putting his heels with the hooks like spurs to the Púca's sides, so that the Púca was shedding blood from the pricks of the hooks.

Excerpt from "The Púca: A Multi-Functional Irish Supernatural Entity" by Deasún Breatnach

buy a print of this piece here :>

#irish folklore #u may remember this as the first WIP i ever shared to subscribers in uhh.. like february i think?? #púca #pooka #setting: inver #DON'T come for my grammar pleas. i already know. #what do i have to do to convince u ppl that this is not a water horse or a kelpie

[bubba-draws]

They now have a mouth and they must scream

Buy me a kofi?

#i doodled this a long time ago and considering i havent posted any new art yet i decided to finish it #most serious au ever #they kept cursing for a bit till they finally calmed down #this is mostly a joke but u know im making it canon #hollow knight #hollow knight au #pure vessel #the hollow knight #hollow hk #the radiance #the radiance hk #radiance vessel au #first post of 2024

[qiinamii]

races and naps

#words contain two tweets since theyre posted separately!! #this was supposed to be drawn long ago as a first impression to fontaine but time passed way too long #and i already maxed the areas and completed every world quests #but still wanna get the ideas out anyway haha did u know otters sleep holding hands so they dont drift away by the current #qiiarts #xiao #lumine #traveler #paimon #childe #tartaglia #neuvillette #frankly enough i think the otter treasure hunts thing amount to 11 little guys and that number i drew was a complete coincidence #genshin impact #fontaine #just woke up and realized i forgot the twins tag im so sorry bbs #lyney #lynette

[honeyedknife]

sequel no one asked for

part 1

#mxtx #svsss #mdzs #tgcf #honeyed art #xie lian #lan wangji #luo binghe #a lot of people were confused in the first one about why sqq was groupd with the redblacks #its bc sqq hc and wwx are all married to men who at one point or another were famous for being exceptionally beautiful #not to say that sqq hc and wwx aren't exceptionally beautiful #but they dont have a reputation for it. u know? #also reuploaded bc there was a mistake in the first one whoops

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[skellydun]

Actual Phone Conversation I Had With A Girl Absolutely Going Through It This Morning:

me very quickly: hi this is dylan from x. how are you today? is now a good time to talk?

girl on the phone: what? oh you know! it's just work, work, work.

me: haha yeah! Just another busy Monday :)

girl on the phone i have known for exactly 11 seconds: sometimes i wish it would just stop. it's relentless. and it's every week! how many mondays can someone go through?

me trying to do my job: ha ha i know right? so I'm calling--

girl on the phone i have known for exactly 16 seconds: i'm so tired. i'm soooooo tired. shelby kept me up all night again. she will not get over keegan. they keep calling each other just to yell i swear to god.

me: only 4 days till the weekend and some sleep! :D

girl: yeah. but she's sleeping with me. at my house. didn't he tell you? who is going to get the dog? or the fucking 300 dollar blender I got them?

me: unfortunately no! so i would love to know more but the reason i'm calling is to get you scheduled for x job interview are you still interested?

girl whispering: what?

me awkwardly: it's...i'm dylan. from x. the x job you applied for. we would like to interview you for it.

girl: oh my god. no. oh my - I am so sorry. I thought you were my friend--I cannot believe--I told you work was relentless. I don't really mean that! I talked about blenders!

me: no, no I totally get it. It can be. But that's why you're interviewing for somewhere better! Tell Shelby to apply too! Do you have any availability on Thursday?

#JUST KNOW IF UR EVER AWKWARD ON THE PHONE ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD #She was my first call of the day and I was like Girl please let me cancel all my other calls so I can learn more about u #Ur interviewing in TN but lets be friends #sometimes my job is funny #and then the rest of the day i kept thinking how relentless is this day #and then some douche hole sent me a demeaning email and i was annoyed so it's really ups and down of the office world

[nerdpoe]

Danny wakes up, strapped into a rollercoaster train car with a bunch of other civilians, in a dilapidated amusement park, with an insane clown laughing through the speakers.

He can see that the track is entirely broken, and that it will send them straight to the ground.

Danny knows he won't die.

Danny knows the civilians in the train car with him will.

So he slowly freezes the wheels until the car stops, a mere four feet from the edge, allowing the icy tendrils to snake down the support struts and reinforce them. His eyes are letting out a faint blue glow, his hands frosted over, and he isn't so much focusing on keeping the ice stable as he is focusing on getting it into the gears and ensuring that the train car can't be knocked off the track.

Now the civilians are feverishly whispering words of encouragement to him, to keep it up, while the local vigilante family fights the Joker.

Why, oh why, did he think that going on vacation in Gotham was a good idea?

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #first thing danny does when they're all rescued to is ask the civilians to not blab that it was him with the ice #that he's not ready to tell his parents yet #gothamites are just like #“awww poor baby isn't out of the closet of course we can lie to the police don't you worry” #Batman is just impressed because he knows the kid has definitely got Mechanical Engineering skills #from how the ice was targeting certain areas #quietly making plans to the side on his phone for Wayne Enterprises to have a scholarship set aside for this kid #lmfao danny u ain't escaping gotham that easy

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them. #which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in! #but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected! #> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace'' #bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward. #TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex'' #WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it. #not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden? #even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

[mjulmjul]

Katya / Goncharov

#yeah ik ive posted them before sorry but i REALLY like how these look together #martin scorsese #goncharov #artists on tumblr #illustration #unreality #<— posters for a ‘movie’ that doesn’t actually exist but is a tumblr meme in which everyone pretends it does&makes content for it #fascinating how we’re immediately personable w katya by knowing her first name while only knowing goncharov’s surname keeps us at a distanc #combined with him being the only major character to go by a moniker it emphasizes just how much he's been consumed by the role he plays #who is goncharov? does he know and keep it secret? or has he too lost his sense of identity? #it's reflected in these posters as we SEE katya but goncharov remains elusive - yet clearly time is running out for them both #lakjdklf ok im done now i never post meta on here so im having fun with the fictional movie #btw I updated both of the illustrations compared to the original posts but will leave those as they were #woudl be cool if my post showed up. u can do it tumblr

[grizzly-bear-official]

are you gay?

#ask #anon #bear barks #flashing warning #sorry if this is a bit harsh. but ive gotten like 5 ppl asking me this on anon #and it isnt something im comfy talking about with a stranger. maybe if i got to know u a bit better first #5k #10k #15k #20k #25k #30k #35k #40k #45k #50k