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shuxiii · 1 year

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Everyday pt.3

Hanni Pham x reader pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5, pt6, pt7, pt8, pt9, pt10, pt11, pt12, pt13

a/n feeling generous today so double update!!! still, credits are all given to the real author ''every day'' by David Levithan

Day 5996

All I get is tomorrow.

As I fell asleep, I had a glint of an idea. But as I wake up, I realize the glint has no light left in it.

Today I’m a boy. Yang Jungwon. Soccer player, but not a star soccer player. Clean room, but not compulsively so. Videogame console in his room. Ready to wake up. Parents asleep.

He lives in a town that’s about a four-hour drive from where Hanni lives.

This is nowhere near close enough.

It’s an uneventful day, as most are. The only suspense comes from whether I can access things fast enough.

Soccer practice is the hardest part. The coach keeps calling out names, and I have to access it like crazy to figure out who everyone is. It’s not Jungwon’s best day at practice, but he doesn’t embarrass himself.

I know how to play most sports, but I’ve also learned my limits. I found this out the hard way when I was eleven. I woke up in the body of some kid who was in the middle of a ski trip. I thought that, hey, skiing had always looked fun. So I figured I’d try. Learn it as I went. How hard could it be?

The kid had already graduated from the bunny slopes, and I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a bunny slope. I thought skiing was like sledding—one hill fits all.

I broke the kid’s leg in three places.

The pain was pretty bad. And I honestly wondered if, when I woke up the next morning, I would still feel the pain of the broken leg, even though I was in a new body. But instead of the pain, I felt something just as bad—the fierce, living weight of terrifying guilt. Just as if I’d rammed him with a car, I was consumed by the knowledge that a stranger was lying in a hospital bed because of me.

And if he’d died … I wondered if I would have died, too. There is no way for me to know. All I know is that, in a way, it doesn’t matter. Whether I die or just wake up the next morning as if nothing happened, the fact of the death will destroy me.

So I’m careful. Soccer, baseball, field hockey, football, softball, basketball, swimming, track—all of those are fine. But I’ve also woken up in the body of an ice hockey player, a fencer, an equestrian, and once, recently, a gymnast.

I’ve sat all those out.

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s video games. It’s a universal presence, like TV or the Internet. No matter where I am, I usually have access to these things, and video games especially help me calm my mind.

After soccer practice, Jungwon’s friends come over to play World of Warcraft. We talk about school and talk about girls (except for his friends Sunoo and Jake, who talk about boys). This, I’ve discovered, is the best way to waste time, because it isn’t really wasted—surrounded by friends, talking crap and sometimes talking for real, with snacks around and something on a screen.

I might even be enjoying myself if I could only unmoor myself from the place I want to be.

Day 5997

It’s almost eerie how well the next day works out.

I wake up early—six in the morning.

I wake up as a girl.

A girl with a car. And a license.

In a town only an hour away from Hanni’s.

I apologize to Ahn Yujin as I drive away from her house, a half hour after waking up. What I’m doing is, no doubt, a strange form of kidnapping.

I strongly suspect that Ahn Yujin wouldn’t mind. Getting dressed this morning, the options were black, black, or…black. Not in a goth sense—none of the black came in the form of lace gloves—but more in a rock ’n’ roll sense. The mix in her car stereo puts Janis Joplin and Brian Eno side by side, and somehow it works.

I can’t rely on Yujin’s memory here—we’re going somewhere she’s never been. So I did some Google mapping right after my shower, typed in the address of Hanni’s school, and watched it pop up in front of me. That simple. I printed it out, then cleared the history.

I have become very good at clearing histories.

I know I shouldn’t be doing this. I know I’m poking a wound, not healing it. I know there’s no way to have a future with Hanni.

All I’m doing is extending the past by a day.

Normal people don’t have to decide what’s worth remembering. You are given a hierarchy, recurring characters, the help of repetition, of anticipation, the firm hold of a long history. But I have to decide the importance of each and every memory. I only remember a handful of people, and in order to do that, I have to hold tight, because the only repetition available—the only way I am going to see them again—is if I conjure them in my mind.

I choose what to remember, and I am choosing Hanni. Again and again, I am choosing her, I am conjuring her, because to let go for an instant will allow her to disappear.

The same song that we heard in Minji’s car comes on—And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God.…

I feel the universe is telling me something. And it doesn’t even matter if it’s true or not. What matters is that I feel it, and believe it.

The enormity rises within me.

The universe nods along to the songs.

I try to hold on to as few mundane, everyday memories as possible. Facts and figures, sure. Books I’ve read or information I need to know. The rules of soccer, for instance. The plot of Romeo and Juliet. The phone number to call if there’s an emergency. I remember those.

But what about the thousands of everyday memories, the thousands of everyday reminders, that every person accumulates? The place you keep your house keys. Your mother’s birthday. The name of your first pet. The name of your current pet. Your locker combination. The location of the silverware drawer. The channel number for MTV. Your best friend’s last name.

These are the things I have no need for. And, over time, my mind has rewired itself, so all this information falls away as soon as the next morning comes.

Which is why it’s remarkable—but not surprising—that I remember exactly where Hanni’s locker is.

I have my cover story ready: If anyone asks, I am checking out the school because my parents might be moving to town.

I don’t remember if there are assigned parking spaces, so just in case, I park far from the school. Then I simply walk in. I am just another random girl in the halls—the freshmen will think I’m a senior, and the seniors will think I’m a freshman. I have Yujin’s schoolbag with me—black with anime details, filled with books that won’t really apply here. I look like I have a destination. And I do.

If the universe wants this to happen, she will be there at her locker.

I tell myself this, and there she is. Right there in front of me.

Sometimes memory tricks you. Sometimes beauty is best when it’s distant. But even from here, thirty feet away, I know that the reality of her is going to match my memory.

Twenty feet away.

Even in the crowded hallway, there is something in her that radiates out to me.

Ten.

She is carrying herself through the day, and it’s not an easy task.

Five.

I can stand right here and she has no idea who I am. I can stand right here and watch her. I can see that the sadness has returned. And it’s not a beautiful sadness—beautiful sadness is a myth. Sadness turns our features to clay, not porcelain. She is dragging.

“Hey,” I say, my voice thin, a stranger here.

At first she doesn’t understand that I’m talking to her. Then it registers.

“Hey,” she says back.

Most people, I’ve noticed, are instinctively harsh to strangers. They expect every approach to be an attack, every question to be an interruption. But not Hanni. She doesn’t have any idea who I am, but she’s not going to hold that against me. She’s not going to assume the worst.

“Don’t worry—you don’t know me,” I quickly say. “It’s just—it’s my first day here. I’m checking the school out. And I really like your skirt and your bag. So I thought, you know, I’d say hello. Because, to be honest, I am completely alone right now.”

Again, some people would be scared by this. But not Hanni. She offers her hand, introduces herself as we shake, and asks me why there isn’t someone showing me around.

“I don’t know,” I say.

“Well, why don’t I take you to the office? I’m sure they can figure something out.”

I panic. “No!” I blurt out. Then I try to cover for myself, and prolong my time with her. “It’s just … I’m not here officially. Actually, my parents don’t even know I’m doing this. They just told me we’re moving here, and I … I wanted to see it and decide whether I should be freaking out or not.”

Hanni nods. “That makes sense. So you’re cutting school in order to check the school out?”

“Exactly.”

“What year are you?”

“A junior.”

“So am I. Let’s see if we can pull this off. Do you want to come around with me today?”

“I’d love that.”

I know she’s just being nice. Irrationally, I also want there to be some kind of recognition. I want her to be able to see behind this body, to see me inside here, to know that it’s the same person she spent an afternoon with on the beach.

I follow her. Along the way, she introduces me to a few of her friends, and I am relieved to meet each one, relieved to know that she has more people in her life than Minji. The way she includes me, the way she takes this total stranger and makes her feel a part of this world, makes me care about her even more. It’s one thing to be love-worthy when you are interacting with your girlfriend; it’s quite another when you act the same way with a girl you don’t know. I no longer think she’s just being nice. She’s being kind. Which is much more a sign of character than mere niceness. Kindness connects to who you are, while niceness connects to how you want to be seen.

Minji makes her first appearance between the second and third period. We pass her in the hall; she barely acknowledges Hanni and completely ignores me. She doesn’t stop walking, just nods at her. She’s hurt—I can tell—but she doesn’t say anything about it to me.

By the time we get to math class, the fourth period, the day has turned into an exquisite form of torture. I am right there next to her, but I can’t do a thing. As the teacher reduces us to theorems, I must remain silent. I write her a note, as an excuse to touch her shoulder, to pass her some words. But they are inconsequential. They are the words of a guest.

bsp; I want to know if I changed her. I want to know if that day changed her, if only for a day.

I want her to see me, even though I know she can’t.

She joins us at lunch.

As strange as it is to see Hanni again, and to have her measure so well against my memory, it is even stranger to be sitting across from the jerk whose body I inhabited just three days ago. Mirror images do no justice to this sensation. She is more attractive than I thought, but also uglier. Her features are attractive, but what she does with them is not. She wears the superior scowl of someone who can barely hide her feelings of inferiority. Her eyes are full of scattershot anger, She posture one of defensive bravado.

I must have rendered her unrecognizable.

Hanni explains to her who I am, and where I come from. She makes it clear that she couldn’t care less. She tells her she left her wallet at home, so she goes and buys her food. When she gets back to the table with it, she says thanks, and I’m almost disappointed that she does. Because I’m sure that a single thank-you will go a long way in her mind.

I want to know about three days ago, about what she remembers.

“How far is it to the ocean?” I ask Hanni.

“It’s so funny you should say that,” she tells me. “We were just there the other day. It took about an hour or so.”

I am looking at her, looking again for some recognition. But she just keeps eating.

“Did you have a good time?” I ask her.

Hanni answers. “It was amazing.”

Still no response from her.

I try again. “Did you drive?”

She looks at me like I’m asking really stupid questions, which I suppose I am.

“Yes, I drove” is all she’ll give me.

“We had such a great time,” Hanni goes on. And it’s making her happy—the memory is making her happy. Which only makes me sadder.

I should not have come here. I should not have tried this. I should just go.

But I can’t. I am with her. I try to pretend that this is what matters.

I play along.

I don’t want to love her. I don’t want to be in love.

People take love’s continuity for granted, just as they take their body’s continuity for granted. They don’t realize that the best thing about love is its regular presence. Once you can establish that, it’s an added foundation to your life. But if you cannot have that regular presence, you only have the one foundation to support you, always.

She is sitting right next to me. I want to run my finger along her arm. I want to kiss her neck. I want to whisper the truth in her ear.

But instead I watch as she conjugates verbs. I listen as the air is filled with a foreign language, spoken in haphazard bursts. I try to sketch her in my notebook, but I am not an artist, and all that comes out are the wrong shapes, the wrong lines. I cannot hold on to anything that’s her.

The final bell rings. She asks me where I’ve parked, and I know that this is it, this is the end. She is writing her email address on a piece of paper for me. This is goodbye. For all I know, Ahn Yujin’s parents have called the police. For all I know, there’s a manhunt going on, an hour away. It is cruel of me, but I don’t care. I want Hanni to ask me to go to a movie, to invite me over to her house, to suggest we drive to the beach. But then Minji appears. Impatient. I don’t know what they are going to do, but I have a bad feeling. She wouldn’t be so insistent if making out weren’t involved.

“Walk me to my car?” I ask.

She looks at Minji for permission.

“I’ll get my car,” she says.

We have a parking lot’s length of time left with each other. I know I need something from her, but I’m not sure what.

“Tell me something nobody else knows about you,” I say.

She looks at me strangely. “What?”

“It’s something I always ask people—tell me something about you that nobody else knows. It doesn’t have to be major. Just something.”

Now that she gets it, I can tell she likes the challenge of the question, and I like her even more for liking it.

“Okay,” she says. “When I was ten, I tried to pierce my own ear with a sewing needle. I got it halfway through, and then I passed out. Nobody was home, so nobody found me. I just woke up, with this needle halfway in my ear, drops of blood all over my shirt. I pulled the needle out, cleaned up, and never tried it again. It wasn’t until I was fourteen that I went to the mall with my mom and got my ears pierced for real. She had no idea. How about you?”

There are so many lives to choose from, although I don’t remember most of them.

I also don’t remember whether Ahn Yujin has pierced ears or not, so it won’t be an ear-piercing memory.

“I stole Judy Blume’s Forever from my sister when I was eight,” I say. “I figured if it was by the author of Superfudge, it had to be good. Well, I soon realized why she kept it under her bed. I’m not sure I understood it all, but I thought it was unfair that the boy would name his, um, organ, and the girl wouldn’t name hers. So I decided to give mine a name.”

Hanni is laughing. “What was its name?”

“Helena. I introduced everyone to her at dinner that night. It went over really well.”

We’re at my car. Hanni doesn’t know it’s my car, but it’s the farthest car, so it’s not like we can keep walking.

“It was great to meet you,” she says. “Hopefully, I’ll see you around next year.”

“Yeah,” I say, “it was great to meet you, too.”

I thank her about five different ways. Then Minji drives over and honks.

Our time is up.

Ahn Yujin’s parents haven’t called the police. They haven’t even gotten home yet. I check the house phone’s voicemail, but the school hasn’t called.

It’s the one lucky thing that’s happened all day.

Day 5998

Something is wrong the minute I wake up the next morning. Something chemical.

It’s barely even morning. This body has slept until noon. Because this body was up late, getting high. And now it wants to be high again. Right away.

I’ve been in the body of a pothead before. I’ve woken up still drunk from the night before. But this is worse. Much worse.

There will be no school for me today. There will be no parents waking me up. I am on my own, in a dirty room, sprawled on a dirty mattress with a blanket that looks like it was stolen from a child. I can hear other people yelling in other rooms of the house.

There comes a time when the body takes over the life. There comes a time when the body’s urges, the body’s needs, dictate the life. You have no idea you are giving the body the key. But you hand it over. And then it’s in control. You mess with the wiring and the wiring takes charge.

I have only had glimpses of this before. Now I really feel it. I can feel my mind immediately combating the body. But it’s not easy. I cannot sense pleasure. I have to cling to the memory of it. I have to cling to the knowledge that I am only here for one day, and I have to make it through.

I try to go back to sleep, but the body won’t let me. The body is awake now, and it knows what it wants.

I know what I have to do, even though I don’t really know what’s going on. Even though I have not been in this situation before, I have been in situations before where it’s been me against the body. I have been ill, seriously ill, and the only thing to do is to power through the day. At first I thought there was something I could do within a single day that could make everything better. But very soon I learned my own limitations. Bodies cannot be changed in a day, especially not when the real mind isn’t in charge.

I don’t want to leave the room. If I leave the room, anything and anyone can happen. Desperately, I look around for something to help me through. There is a decrepit bookshelf, and on it is a selection of old paperbacks. These will save me, I decide. I open up an old thriller and focus on the first line. Darkness had descended on Manassas, Virginia.

…

The body does not want to read. The body is alive with electric barbed wire. The body is telling me there is only one way to fix this, only one way to end the pain, only one way to feel better. The body will kill me if I don’t listen to it. The body is screaming. The body demands its own form of logic.

I read the next sentence.

I lock the door.

I read the third sentence.

The body fights back. My hand shakes. My vision blurs.

I am not sure I have the strength to resist this.

I have to convince myself that Hanni is on the other side. I have to convince myself that this isn’t a pointless life, even though the body is telling me it is.

The body has obliterated its memories in order to hone its argument. There isn’t much for me to access. I must rely on my own memories, the ones that are separate from this.

I must remain separate from this.

I read the next sentence, then the next sentence. I don’t even care about the story. I am moving from word to word, fighting the body from word to word.

It’s not working. The body makes me feel like it wants to defecate and vomit. First in the usual way. Then I feel I want to defecate through my mouth and vomit through the other end. Everything is being mangled. I want to claw at the walls. I want to scream. I want to punch myself repeatedly.

I have to imagine my mind as something physical, something that can control the body. I have to picture my mind holding the body down.

I read another sentence.

Then another.

There is pounding on the door. I scream that I’m reading.

They leave me alone.

I don’t have what they want in this room.

They have what I want outside this room.

I must not leave this room.

I must not let the body out of this room.

I imagine her walking the hallways. I imagine her sitting next to me. I imagine her eyes meeting mine.

Then I imagine her getting in her car, and I stop.

The body is infecting me. I am getting angry. Angry that I am here. Angry that this is my life. Angry that so many things are impossible.

Angry at myself.

Don’t you want it to stop? the body asks.

I must push myself as far away from the body as I can.

Even as I’m in it.

I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to go to the bathroom.

Finally, I pee in a soda bottle. It splashes all over.

But it’s better than leaving this room.

If I leave the room, I will not be able to stop the body from getting what it wants.

I am ninety pages into the book. I can’t remember any of it.

Word by word.

The fight is exhausting the body.

I am winning.

It is a mistake to think of the body as a vessel. It is as active as any mind, as any soul. And the more you give yourself to it, the harder your life will be. I have been in the bodies of starvers and purgers, gluttons and addicts. They all think their actions make their lives more desirable. But the body always defeats them in the end.

I just need to make sure the defeat doesn’t take while I’m inside.

I make it to sundown. Two hundred sixty-five pages gone. I am shivering under the filthy blanket. I don’t know if it’s the temperature in the room or if it’s me.

Almost there, I tell myself.

There is only one way out of this, the body tells me.

At this point, I don’t know if it means drugs or death.

The body might not even care, at this point.

Finally, the body wants to sleep.

I let it.

#Hanni x reader #Hanni Pham #Pham Hanni #Hanni Pham x reader #newjeans #newjeans fanfic #hanni pham #new jeans #nwjns #NewJeans Imagines #Newjeans imagine #Newjean Fanfic #NewJeans Fanfic #newjeans fic #newjeans imagine #Newjeans x reader

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eljackinton · 1 year

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Every Game Jack Played in 2022

Once again it's time for me to talk about all the video games I played. A lot of time was spent playing Hunt Showdown and Gwent, which I've talked about previously, but I still got few a fair few games, so let's talk about them now.

Outer Wilds: Echoes of the Eye

After a game as with such high concept heights as Outer Wilds, how do you follow on from where the story leaves off. Echoes of the Eye takes such a challenge in it's stride, taking the game to even more fantastical, stranger places. Never before have I seen a more worthy expansion.

Back 4 Blood

It's probably fair to criticise Back 4 Blood when comparing it to it's obvious progenitor, Left 4 Dead, and while the game definitely lacks that Valve spark in it's characters and it's level design, it's still a well put together game that has an identity in it's own right, that brings a few new interesting ideas to the table.

Sunless Sea (Again)

I spent a lot of time playing Sunless Sea in 2020 but something about it just drew me back. This time I played through more of the strange sub-plots and got more into the trade sim side of the game. Enjoyed it even more this time around.

Quake

I also finally got round to playing the mission packs for the new edition of Quake. While some are definitely more enjoyable than others, it's a testament to the engine that it can still come out with some surprises all these years later.

Horizon: Zero Dawn

I FINALLY finished HZD this year, and while I can say I've really grown tired of huge open worlds, and this game is no exception, I still spent a lot of time thinking about it. Far from perfect, with gameplay with is serviceable at best and janky at worst, it still looks gorgeous, has a magnetic cast of characters and a really involved story of twists and turns. Can't wait for the sequel to be released on PC in like 5 years time.

Superliminal

In a just world, Superliminal would be as big as Portal. It mechanics are as inventive and creative, and it's humour is as witty and dry. Alas, sci-fi stories about evil computers is always going to be more popular than avant-garde dream spaces. Still, the game has well earned it's accolades, and I'd love to see it's ideas extrapolated further.

A Hand With Many Fingers

A very short but sharp narrative game that involves piecing together a political conspiracy that actually happened. Feels more a proof of concept than an actual game in it's own right, but I'd love to see it's mechanics and ideas used in a larger project. Imagine a Deus Ex game just stopping the action to have you rustling through boxes of files.

Cultist Simulator

Better in idea than it is in execution. Cultist Simulator is most enjoyable at the beginning where you're just piecing together how the mechanics work and what resources are used for what purposes, giving you a little eureka moment each time. The further you get, however, the more it feels like you're hitting a brick wall. At 34 hours in I'd had enough of still trying to figure out how half of the mechanics worked.

Call of Juarez: Gunslinger

The previous COJ games have always passed me by, so I went into Gunslinger as it's own thing. An absolute love letter to Western cinema at it's most overwrought, with every trope and cliche on display. I only wish it had been longer.

Disco Elysium

Whatever I have to say about Disco Elysium has probably already been said, but I'm kind of glad I held off from the hype period and experienced it on it's own merits. A true successor to Planescape: Torment that also manages to dethrone it's own inspiration.

Aliens: Fireteam Elite

Fireteam Elite gets almost everything right. The gameplay is paced perfectly, the sound and visual design apes the Alien's films to a t, and the game draws just the right amount from the Alien's expanded universe to feel authentic without being fanservicy. It's one big flaw? The game is just too damn short and the campaigns are far too small to keep drawing players back in the way Vermintide or Back 4 Blood can. Updates have mitigated this somewhat but it's in dire need of more maps.

For the Warp

A really fun space travel rogue-like that can be a little frustrating at first but once you begin to understand the deck building mechanics the whole thing clicks and getting that perfect run feels well earned. I really hope we see a sequel that can expand out to a Darkest Dungeon sized campaign.

Tell Me Why

A Life is Strange game in all but name, Tell Me Why really feels like Dontnod really hitting their stride with the tone and style of games they really want to do. Deeply personal and uncompromising, at three episodes it's never at risk of outstaying it's welcome. Highly recommended.

The Stanley Parable ULTRA DELUXE

Playing a new Stanly Parable in 2022 feels weird. There's also a part of me that wants to gripe about the re-release not having enough new content, but then I'd feel like the game itself would be judging me for doing that. I think my actual opinions on this game will need another half decade to formulate.

Deus Ex Revision (with the Lay-D Denton Mod)

So I finally got an excuse to play Revision with the added bonus they included the new female player option, which is a great and seamless addition and kind of wild how ell it was pulled off. As for Revision itself? It's a fine, alternative way to play Deus Ex and a good excuse to do so, but I don't really think it works as a superior version of the game. Some of the map changes just complicate it way too much. Worth checking out but the original is still superior.

Eponymous

An extremely short game that is, in brief, about the nature of playing games. If nothing else it did get me to finally read House of Leaves.

Not Tonight

This Brexit themed Papers Please-alike is absolutely brilliant as satire but just a touch too long for an enjoyable game. While it does a good job to communicate the pressure of thankless contract work like that of a doorman, the game drags it's increasingly difficult gameplay mechanics along far too long for the story to justify. Clever but should have been shorter.

Battlefleet Gothic Armada

A fun, high stakes space combat game that is just a little too overly complex for the gameplay mechanics to allow for. Didn't outstay it's welcome but I'm hoping for big improvements with the sequel.

Warhammer 40'000 Armageddon (DLC)

So I finally went back and finished the DLC campaigns for Armageddon. They're really just more of the base game, for better or worse.

Titanfall 2

Well worth it's reputation as a top-tier story based FPS and also for being shorter than it should have been. Not a real moment is wasted and yet I'm crying out for a sequel that will likely never happen.

Darkest Dungeon (DLC)

With the DD board game launching this year I decided to go back and play the DLC that I missed the first time round. While the gameplay is as slick and tense as ever, I can't help but feel the DLC pads things out more than is necessary just to make it fell like they add more content than they actually do. Far from essential but they add some interesting concepts.

Lair of the Clockwork God

It's weird to think this series started as a throwaway gag. Lair of the Clockwork God is an impressive return to the Ben and Dan series in terms of scope, and I had my fun with it, but ultimately, I think too much of the platforming elements were frustrating for the sake of it (and not in the moments where this was deliberate.) Here's hoping any potential sequels return to being simple point and clicks again.

We'll talk about Deathloop this time next year, as I still have yet to experience the multiplayer aspect. Until then, my new years resolution is to finally finish Divinity Original Sin 2.

#video games #review

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silvanoir · 2 years

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What even is my life?

My life has become insane. I though things might calm down after my mom died but the things that happened while she was sick and then after is. Man oh man. It’s the stuff of a primetime drama.

I lost hearing in my right ear for 4 weeks. I thought it was due to loud noises in work and permanent, and was weeping over it. Turns out it was a bad ear infection, cured by antibiotic pills that were half the size of my pinky finger.

My dad has no idea that he doesn’t have life insurance. Because looking though paperwork the financial advisor found out my mom cashed it in in 2003 to pay for my college. I had no idea. He still doesn’t. He’s 84 with a blod clot in his heart (and multiple other health problems), it was decided it was best he never knows.

I went from worrying that I’d live in my car last year to .... well the opposite of that.

My mom is leaving me $20,000 in life insurance. Which sweet! I can finally get energy efficient windows in the basement (the main floor has updated windows, basement has its original thin 1960s windows, one of which is cracked). With money leftover to hire the neighborhood lawn service so I don’t have to mow in the summer heat anymore, just tend to my garden (was getting hard, physically, due to the nerve damage in my right foot, to push the mower along). Among other things I want to get fixed up around the house.

But that’s not all. Searched my parents’ old house with the financial advisor. We found my dads coin collection, which dad said I could have, and the Advisor looked the values up. Some of them go for $1,000. EACH. Too bad the collection is only half the size it once was because in the 1970′s some teenage guys on drugs broke in and stole half (to buy more drugs of course). There’s also an old Lionel Train set that might go for a lot. And one of my mom’s collector dolls still had the original price tag on it.

We were also there to get rid of old weapons. There was my dad’s gun, which he was given by a farmer in Indiana, from the 1930s (the gun is from the 30s, I don’t know when my Dad was in the Midwest). And my uncle’s rifle, from the 1960s, which my uncle told me “I meant throw that into the ocean years ago” which leads us to suspect it was .... involved in something. We wore gloves and bagged them up and were going to turn them in to the no-questions-asked gun return. But then the financial advisor, with his gloves off, had to check if the rifle was still loaded. Fingerprints, dude! Which then lead me, with my gloves still on, to take the guns and a shovel and bury them in a swamp an an undisclosed location. I am keeping my dads old hunting knife, though. Always wanted a hunting knife. I don’t hunt, just like pointy things (I also want a sword!)

But back to the money.

When the financial advisor sat me down and added up everything. What the collectables will sell for. What’s in my checking and savings (not including the house value, which I’m still paying the mortgage on). What’s in my parents checking and all their stocks and investments. It all comes to....

[above: “One Million Dollars” Dr. Evil gif]

Once my dad dies, and everything goes all to me I’ll be a millionaire. I still haven’t mentally processed it. I’ve always lived like I’m lower middle class, shopping at bargain and thrift stores and buying things on sale. Now I can afford stuff? But I still go to bargain stores out of habit? I ranted against “Those damn rich people” but now I am a damn rich person ???? (or will be in a some years). But its not yet, NOT YET! I still have to get up at 2 am to be in work by 3am at a shipping warehouse and pretend like everything is... well not the way it is? Not the way it will be?

It also feels like a Last Unicorn situation. Molly. “Why do you come to me now, when I’m like this?” Not when I was younger and had my health and ambition .... instead I’m so mentally and physically broken down. My doctors say with my health problems that I’LL BE DEAD BY MY LATE 60S. I just turned 40 this year. But I don’t have to worry about money in the future I guess ??? I’ll be able to enjoy the next 20-something years before I croak?

Also, I know there’s mutuals who are reading this who are struggling who’d probably like me to give them something, but I can’t right now. Still going through paperwork and again, I haven’t inherited or received money from anything yet! Much of it is years and years ahead. I still only have my car and bank account solely in my name, dad’s still alive. And still dealing with so much in life beside that. Someday, I’ll help you out.

Right now my brain is spinning around like it was put in the dryer.

#real life #long post

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bangtaninborderland · 2 years

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Risk It All (17.1) - Leave Me

Genre: Chishiya x f!reader, angst, fluff, violence, action.

Warning: death, guns, violence.

A/N: Thankyou so much for reading this!! I know my updates with risk it all has been slow but I have been working tirelessly. There is a part two to this and it will be up tomorrow ! In 3 weeks my exams will be finished so I’ll be updating a lot then! Please interact, like, share, message me and let me know what you think! I appreciate you all and have an amazing day/ night !

Ch.16 | Masterlist | Ch.17.2

“What do you mean he’s dead?” You ask, still hazy from your sleep.

Kuina throws herself on the bed and Chishiya sits in the chair across by the desk.

Chishiya looks over to you as if you was the most stupid person alive. “Well it means he isn’t alive.”

You scoff are his response. “I know that but I mean how did he die and what will happen now.”

Kuina laughs and you turn you attention to her, as does Chishiya. “He was shot. Not even in a game. Now the militants will run the beach and it will go from utopia to cheap strip club.”

You chuckled at her impartiality towards the situation.

“It was someone at the beach, most likely the militants. Without Hatter rationality will be off. If a 10 of hearts game is coming anytime it’s coming now. So just don’t get in the way when it does.” Chishiya leans back onto the desk.

“So when does our plan start?” You ask. You wasn’t worried about the beach you’d be leaving soon it was more so what would come after that. Wether or not you admitted it the beach had become a familiar place.

Kuina hops up, walking over to your closet throwing on a jacket, she didn’t even ask anymore but you didn’t mind. She was like family.

Chishiya straightens himself sliding his hands in his pockets as he stands up. “They will most likely make the announcement in a day or two, with Hatter gone it’s the perfect time. If I was you I’d get packing.”

“Can I keep this?” Kuina points towards one of your many black jackets. You nod at her and a small smile appears on her clearly bored face.

“Im going to talk to Arisu. I’ll find you later.” You watch Chishiya walk out the door before you turn back to Kuina.

“What’s his problem and why is he so moody?” You ask with a huff.

She shrugs her shoulders as she throws herself into the bed. “Do you want to go swimming?”

“Kuina.. it’s like 6 am!” You shout at her pointing towards the window.

She looks towards you confused. “So..?”

You sighed standing it. “So.. ugh fuck it. Let me brush my teeth and we will go swimming.”

She laughed pulling herself off the bed, straightening out the sheets as she did.

You quickly brushed and flossed before throwing one of your few bikinis on along with Chishiyas jacket.. well the jacket that had now become yours.

“Okay let’s go.” You dramatically groan as you open the door.

Kuina hood to your side. The building was quiet, practically everyone at this time has just gone to sleep, the party had only just ended the only people around are the militants patrolling but thankfully Niragi isn’t one of them.

Kuina screeched as she jumped into the pool, despite the cold air she insisted the was warm and she was right. As you sunk into the small body of water you was thankful your stomach was no longer hurting.

Kuina swims a lap in the small pool before resurfacing a few feet from you, “I needed this.”

You give her a short chuckle as you wave the water around with your hands.

“Hey Kuina?” You call her name and she nods towards you showing you that you have her attention.

“Are you okay?” You ask concerned. Although Kuina was strong and didn’t seemed to be bothered about much but the idea of leaving the beach was one that was a little worrisome.

Her movements halted as if she was shocked someone had asked. “I’m okay..” she trails off her voice wavering.

She marches towards you through the water and wraps her arms around you. You feel a small trickle down your back and if it wasn’t for her small sniffles you would have thought it was just her hair dripping.

“Hey what’s wrong?!” You pull her away from you to look you in the eyes.

“I’m just sad that’s all.” She brushes away the stray tears and return back to swimming. You wanted to investigate to find out why your best friend was upset but it was obvious she didn’t want to talk about it so you didn’t push her.

After another 30 minuets in the pool the breeze becomes much colder and despite the heaters in the water you still felt the frost.

Kuina laughs as you shiver.

“I think I’m going to head back to my room..” you sigh pulling yourself out of the water.

She copied your actions as she walked up the steps to exit the pool.

You grab one of the clean towels and wrap it around you, trying to your yourself off, you slide on your sandals before grabbing Chishiyas jacket and rushing inside to escape the cold air.

Kuina follows behind you, much more unbothered by the weather than you are.

“So where will we go after here?” You ask in a hushed tone afraid of unwanted ears listening.

She huffed as you entered the elevator. “I don’t know. We will need to find somewhere that has all the necessities.”

You began to compile a list in your mind of everything you’d need. It’s not exactly like you could carry bags out of the beach, it would have to be some clothes maybe wear two outfits at once, Chishiyas jacket and your sisters necklace. Nothing else mattered when you had Kuina and Chishiya, along with a high probability of escaping.

Your thoughts come to a pause as the elevator opens and you begin to head back to your room.

“Hey! I’m going to head to my room and get changed!” Kuina shouted down the hall and you stuck your thumb out too her letting her know you heard her.

You was nearly at your room when Niragis unpleasant face came into view. You tried to ignore him but his words caused you to freeze.

“Look at you all pretty and wet I don’t mind If I do.” A dark voice comes from behind you and without thinking your legs begin to run. It didn’t matter where but running was the only option.

You heard his heavy footsteps coming closer towards you, panic set it, causing your adrenaline to rush. Despite the ache of your body you didn’t stop moving, abandoning both your shoes and the towel that had covered your wet bikini.

You see a small door and before he could turn the corner you rushed inside.

It was a small cleaning closet.

You held your breath as you heard him run past, too afraid to move in fear he would hear you. It takes a few minuets before his footsteps sound faint enough to escape and although your mind is clouded you try to form a good route to take.

Going towards the roof was pointless, there’s no escape. The same with your room and the side room. An idea pops into your mind and you decide it’s the best choice you have. You poke your head of out the door, thankful to see the hall clear.

You run down towards the left, looking for the familiar door. You open it and slam the door, ignoring the figure jumping from his bed.

“what are you doing?” Chishiyas confused voice asks. Walking towards you.

“Niragi.” You whisper rushing into the restroom.

A loud pounding came from the door. “I’m not here!” You whisper once again before closing the restroom door putting as much distance between you and Niragi as possible.

You hear Niragi shouting as Chishiya opened the door. However his voice was too faint to make out his response. The heated argument went on for a few more moments before Chishiya opened the restroom door.

“You can come out now.”

You slowly walk out of the room, taking a quick look around to make sure Niragi isn’t there.

“Thankyou. I’ll leave in a second I just want to be sure he’s gone you know?” You ask sitting on the chair at his desk.

He lays on his bed, placing one of his earbuds it. Playing you no attention.

“Chishiya.” You wave trying to get him to look at you.

“What?!” He mumbles annoyed.

You stand up feeling awkward, him clearly not wanting you there.

“I think I’ll go..” you whisper hesitantly, still worried about Niragi lurking around.

“Okay.” He sighs.

You don’t give him a second look as you leave his room, your attention more focused on arriving to your door safely.

You run as fast as you can, thankfully avoiding any more interactions with the asshole militant.

After the rush of adrenaline and the necessary running not to mention the early morning swim with Kuina you was extremely exhausted.

You change out of your damp swimsuit into an oversized shirt, wrapping Chishiyas jacket around you as you climb into bed, the sheets encasing you in a soft security blanket.

You doze of thinking about your sister and what she would have thought of the strange man you have began falling in love with in the scary place you know nothing about.

“DAD STOP!!” You scream, your voice nothing compared to the sounds of your sisters pleas.

“GO TO YOUR ROOM !” Your dad screams at you as you race towards him.

You try to pull his large frame off your sister as he strikes her face another time, your strength nothing compared to his as he shoves you away into the small bookcase behind you.

You jumped up in synch with the blow of your head against the book case. Your breathing staggered, sweat dripping from your entire body. Your eyes wander frantically, your sister was gone as was your dad. It was just a dream.

A broken dream.

You peel the sheets off your wet body as you climb out of bed. Luckily Chishiyas jacket had been tussled out of the bed during your fight with the pillows. The bright sun blinds you as you peek out the window. The party of today had already began. You sigh at the site of the desperate souls trying to use alcohol as a distraction.

Pathetic.

You climbed into the shower, opting for cold water today, not wanting to grow any more sweatier under the powerful hot water you’d usually chose. You don’t spend too long in there as the cold water soon turns ice cold.

You shiver slightly as your exposed skin meets the air from the air conditioning. You dry yourself off before throwing on a much more covering swimsuit on in case of any more dangerous encounters with the militant bodies.

You don’t even reach the elevator before bumping into someone you know.

Arisu.

“Hey..” you sigh pressing the button for the ground floor.

“What’s up with you today?” He frowns, noticing your clearly unfriendly demeanour.

You huff rolling your eyes. “Bad night.”

He does a silly dance shaking his hips. “Let’s partyyyy.”

You chuckle lightly, waving him a short goodbye after you exit the elevator. You aren’t in the mood for company, the dream making you feel restless in every sense of the word. You decide to get dinner alone as both breakfast and lunch has ended, you needing the time to clear your head.

You grabbed a small selection of food and began to eat as you worked through your list of overwhelming thoughts in your head.

Hatter was dead and although you was leaving the beach there’s no time limit on when. Although Hatters death opened up the avenue for you to be able to take the cards, it also shut down the one of you having time off playing. You wouldn’t exactly need the time off if Chishiyas plan worked and you managed to take the cards but even then it would be an endless chase between you and the militants.

No doubt the same three would would apply. The only idea you had was to talk to the mastermind behind it but even the thought of talking to Chishiya made you uneasy, especially with how distant he was last night. Unfortunately that was just classic him.

He is limited in every emotion there is to exist.

You let out an aggravated huff as you push the barely edible plate aside. Your distracted mind breaking the hunger you felt.

You quickly tossed your plate before heading back to your room, apparently you couldn’t walk quick enough before another beach friend caught up to you. Asahi.

“What’s wrong with you?” She whispers joining your said in the small elevator.

You shrug your shoulders watching the highlighted floor numbers change colour.

“Oh okay.” Her voice is sad and you immediately feel regret for giving her the cold shoulder.

“I’m sorry Asahi I’m just not in the best mood.” You mumble back to her.

Your halfhearted apology earns you a small smile from the sweet girl beside you.

“How about I find you tomorrow and we hang out together?” You ask, hoping to make up for any disappointment you made her feel today.

“Sure!” She returned to her somewhat happy self as you exited the elevator.

You find comfort in the quietness of your room, you grab a book and slouch onto your bed. God you missed having a TV.

You flicked through a few chapters before growing bored, the day seeming to drag. Despite your want for alone time you’re happy when Kuina let’s herself in to your room.

“You’ve been in here all day!” She whines dramatically, laughing at herself afterwards.

“Yes. I have” you respond bluntly, still angry at your mind for conjuring such a horrific dream.

She raises an eyebrow before walking towards you. She sits and the end of the bed, pushing your legs aside to give her room.

“What’s wrong. We are getting out of here soon. Chishiya told me to tell you that he has set a time for the plan to start. Tomorrow Aguni will be announcing his overtaking of the beach and Hatters death. Arisu will take the cards then.”

You sit up, surprised by the sudden change of timelines. “Tomorrow!”

She shushes you before continuing. “Yes, tomorrow. Today is most likely our last day here. You need to be prepared to leave because the second Aguni realises the cards have gone, which according to Chishiya will take him months, he will come after us.”

“When… when will his speech be?” You question her a small stammer in your voice.

“After the games tomorrow night. Neither me you nor Chishiya are playing.” She smiles. Everything really was falling into place.

You lay back, resting your head on the board of the bed. “Great.”

“You look tired have you slept?” She rubs your shoulders, her eyes wandering around your face.

You shake your head sighing. “No.”

You watch her as she stands up and walks out the door.

“I’ll be back.!” She shouts as she walks away.

Kuina was definitely something entirely different. You really hoped you wouldn’t get separated after the beach, it would be hard to be without her.

She returns a few minuets later, a slip of pills in her hand. “Take one of these and get some rest, we might not have any for a while.”

You take the slip and scan the packet. “Sleeping pills?”

You raise an eyebrow at her and she laughs shaking her head.

“They will knock you right out!” She gives you a short hug before heading towards to door. “I’m serious, sleep.”

You nod towards her giving her a forced smile. “Yes mom.”

She waves her hand at you before disappearing once again.

You take one of the pills as she instructed, flicked the lights off and and laid back down your head facing the small window that allowed you to see the stars. You didn’t have the biggest room but you had a decent view and right now you was cherishing it.

After all, it might just be the last time you get to see it like this. Dark and starry.

Your eyes grow heavy fast and you can no longer fight the feeling of the tiredness. You let yourself succumb to the sleep you desperately need, hoping your dreams tonight are sweeter than last.

You knew Kuina wasn’t lying about the pills being good when you woke up and it was nearing mid afternoon, you’d slept for around 12 hours which would be good because today was the day Aguni would make his speech and Arisu would steal the cards.

You took your time in the shower, enjoying the calming sensation it brings, unsure when you would next be able to enjoy electricity and warm water. You throw on a small shirt along with some shorts, you laughed at how similar your looked to An.

You made sure to have everything close, a spare of clothes folded up on the bed, your necklace secured safely around your neck and Chishiyas jacket that he had given to you wrapped tightly around your body.

You look around before you leave the room, sighing at the thought of running. The games would start soon, you didn’t have time to waste.

You headed downstairs to find Kuina, you was happy to see her sitting at a table with Momoka and Asahi. You really would miss them, having friends at times has been all that has kept you going.

“Hey.” You smile sitting down next to Kuina.

“You’re up late.” She laughs hitting you playfully.

“Who’s faults that huh? Swimming at 6am? Never again.” You side her as you smirk.

“So what do you want to do today?” You turn to Asahi, keeping your promise of spending time with her to make up for your short temper yesterday.

She shrugs her shoulders and looks outside towards the pool. “What else is there to do?”

Momoka gasps excitedly. “I know !”

Kuina clears off her plate as Momoka waits impatiently by the door.

“Let’s go.” Kuina bounces beside you linking her arm into yours.

You follow Momoka towards a staircase you had never seen before. It was a small spiral, leading down towards another door. You hesitantly look towards Kuina as Momoka opens the door, she shrugs her shoulder, she must not have know this existed either.

You walk in behind everyone else, the lights flicker as they are turned on, you squint your eyes adjusting to the light. You was surprised by what was in the room, old machine games and a small snack bar were squashed into the small room.

“It’s some kind of break room?” You ask turning to Momoka and Asahi.

“We found it not long after we came here. The games still work and there’s still a lot of good snacks in the bar.” You watch as she walks to one of the machines turning it on.

“Welcome player!” The old machine spoke to the room.

Kuina laughed walking over to another one of the games.

You decided you’d check out the snacks, thankfully there was some good things. Some food that isn’t disgusting.

You sat at the bar eating a packet of crackers as you watch your friends fuss around the games as if they were children playing for the first time. This was the only thing you’d miss.

You grew sad wondering what would happen to Asahi, Momoka, An, Arisu and Usagi. They were good people and deserved to live, they deserved to get away from here and from the sick games.

You turn your head in the direction the calling of your name comes from, Asahi is waving you over towards the game.

You hop off the stool, taking your crackers with you as you head towards the machine.

You spend a few hours playing games, talking and eating before you hear cars heading in from the games.

“We should go before people look for us.” You walk towards the door, Kuina following behind you.

“We will be there soon!” Momoka shouts to you as you head up the stairs.

The building is empty, all the lost souls outside partying.

“What do we do?” You turn towards kuina.

“We could go to the pool and wait therel?” She asks, you loved how helpful she ways tried to be.

You frown, not wanting to be around anyone else.

“Let’s go for a walk. Aguni will make his speech soon.” You suggest.

She seemingly excepts as she begins walking around, liking her arm in yours.

“So will Chishiya find us?” Your mind once again racing with the details of leaving.

She groans, her feet no longer walking. “I’ll have to go and find him now to get the radio so I can keep us up to date. Aguni will begin to gather everyone soon. Go and wait around the entrance hall, I’ll find you there as that’s where he is planning to do his speech.”

“Okay.” You sigh displeased at the thought of being separated this close to having the cards. You missed Chishiya but you knew right now wasn’t the time for your complicated relationship.

She rubbed your arm giving you a small hug as she runs off towards Chishiyas room.

You don’t waste time heading towards the entrance hall, you notice a few other bodies making their way, it won’t be long now.

It takes another 10 minuets for Everyone to finally come together, the militants lording over everyone standing on the indoor balcony of the second floor.

“Shut up!” Agunis loud voice silences the disruptive room.

Niragi notices you, giving you a smirk. You’re glad to be leaving him behind. You notice Chishiya looking over one of the railings, he moves the radio towards his mouth and you know it’s time.

You wait around a little as Aguni gives some of his speech, mostly mumbling about people dying for him. Like that’s ever going to happen.

His irrational w stops mid sentence as Chishiya approaches him. What was he doing?

You work your way out the crowd as Aguni walks off angrily.

You see Kuina standing around leaning against the wall. “What’s happening?! Why did Chishiya take Aguni!” You shout towards her.

“It’s apart of the plan. Just trust me please? Go to your room in ten minutes I’ll meet you there, hang around with everybody so it doesn’t look suspicious!” She shouts back towards you in a hushed tone as she begins to walk off.

You reluctantly head back to the entrance hall, your eyes watching the small wall clock like a hawk. Eventually ten minuets passed and you decided to had back to your room, whatever Kuina was doing she would be done by now.

Your journey cut short when Asahi approached you. She tapped you on your shoulder making you jump.

“Thankyou for today.” She wraps her arms around you throwing you into a surprised state, your hand slowly hugging her back.

“You’re welcome, we will have better days together sometime soon but I have to go!” You don’t wait for her response as you rush into the elevator the second the doors begin to open.

You force your door open only to be met with an empty room. You flick the lights on which reveals a note on the bed next to the small pile of clothes you had laid out for this very moment. You threw them on, Kuina would be here any moment.

You pick up the note once you finish changing. Your hands shaking when you read the first few words.

“I’m sorry. I can’t let you come with me, I don’t know what I’m going to find but I won’t give up until I do. I will play as many games as it takes. You’re going to find out that Arisu won’t make it, he had to be sacrificed and I’m not sorry for that. I had intended for you to do what he has done today, that plan ended the night we spent on the roof. Please don’t leave the beach to find me, I won’t stop winning until boderlands no longer exists and everything is back to normal. Be safe and take care of my jacket. Even in war the deaths of soldiers hurt their families so I request one last time that you stop feeling for me otherwise you will just be hurting yourself. Goodbye and I will see you on the other side.”

You brushed a tear away from your face, frozen as you squeeze the note in your hand. Desperation and panic end your momentary stall as you begin to run towards Chishiyas room, you don’t stop running as you basically kick down his door. Your disappointment overwhelming you as you see it empty.

You turn to leave to search elsewhere before the flash of the useless TV alarms you.

Game

Difficulty: 10 of hearts

The dark pit in your stomach grew. It was the last card. The last game.

81 notes · View notes

existslikepristin · 3 years

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Yeo Reum is Our Reum

I got this request from a member of my discord server after winning a little contest I did. Twas fun (from my perspective ohoho) :O

Also for the 4 people who are wondering, just about all of my backlog will be done getting posted in the next couple of days, at which point I will be updating my masterlist.

Tags: WJSN, Yeoreum, male OC Jay, college life, mistake roommates, okay not a mistake, wild sex, request

~~~~~

Jay had been roommates with Yeoreum for months. Theirs was an awkward situation sometimes, considering that they shared a room. One room, not a dorm. An actual, single room. A big room, with beds separated by fifteen to twenty feet of space, but still a single room. Student services claimed it was an error and they were working on adjusting the arrangement so that one of them could be moved to a different room.

It was a complicated situation. They had agreed to always sleep in pajamas, and they would change exclusively in the bathroom. It worked, for the most part, because they followed those rules, for the most part. For the sake of convenience, they had both broken the rules on more than one occasion.

Roomie’s in the shower? Change in the bedroom. Roomie’s out for dinner? Change in the bedroom. Roomie’s asleep? Change in the bedroom.

On the rare occasion that didn’t work out correctly, or they didn’t move fast enough, one of the roommates would catch a glimpse of the other’s body. And while both of them would express embarrassment and apologize, they never really stopped. In fact, it became a little more common each month.

Yeoreum in particular was finding herself guilty on a somewhat regular basis. A topless moment here, pulling up her shorts at the exact moment of Jay entering there, one mildly tipsy night falling asleep on top of her blankets with her dress flipped up above her underwear-less ass. She would never admit it, but she wasn’t quite so sure she cared. In fact, the idea of Jay catching these naked glimpses of her was even a little exciting.

She would occasionally manufacture these moments. Nothing too wild, she would tell herself. Nothing wrong with a slip of her shorts as they studied. Nothing underneath her thinnest shirts wasn’t such a big deal.

What Yeoreum would never admit to (not that she’d admit to exposing herself either) was that she would, every once in a while, aim to catch those sorts of situations with Jay too. Perhaps she would come home a little earlier than she had advised. Perhaps she would leave her laptop’s webcam turned on by accident when she would be in the bathroom. What’s the worst that could happen?

Jay wasn’t entirely oblivious to this either. But without her declaring her consent, he always tried to remain respectful, eyes bolting in any direction but Yeoreum’s tits, ass, legs, feet, tits, neck, ass, or tits. But with the months passing by, and student services dragging their duties behind them like balls on chains, it was getting difficult to keep his eyes chaste, or even keep his fetishes in order with all of the parts of her body Yeoreum was carelessly revealing and making look very, very sexy.

But one fateful night, the rules changed.

It started with Yeoreum getting out of the shower. She left the bathroom with her sports bra and leggings on, per the usual rules. But the sports bra was intentionally quite revealing. All it took to pop both of her nipples out was a lift and stretch of her arms, which she did quite casually in order to “tie her hair up” before she left for her workout.

“And you’re sure you don’t want to come to the gym with me Jay?” she asked. She knew he would say no, considering how busy he said he was with homework, but all she wanted was his attention on her while she pulled her ponytail straight.

“No, thank you for the offer. I’ll definitely go next time th--” His breath caught as he looked at her, then immediately looked away. Yeoreum smirked. She knew he saw. It was time for the next phase of her plan.

“Cool cool,” she said, “Oh but before I go, have you seen the G2 I was using for notes? I think I left it near your desk.”

Yeoreum knew very well where the pen was, and it was below one of the draws of Jay’s desk. But to keep up the tease, she leaned over him, her boob nearly brushing against his face as she pretended to look over the top of his monitor.

“Nah, nah. I haven’t seen it. Definitely not on my desk though, sorry.” Jay didn’t know for sure, but he knew he could find the pen on his own if he didn’t have a glorious pair of tits comfortably seated in a tight, revealing bra fighting to take up his entire field of vision.

“Shoot. I could have sworn it was over here. Gimme a sec.”

Jay tried to back up a little bit, but Yeoreum was already on his lap. Her bare stomach draped across his knees and perky butt in the most spankable possible position. A perky butt which was clothed in the thinnest, most form fitting, and unnecessarily short leggings Yeoreum owned, and nothing else. She only had to bend her knees to reveal her entire ass. Half of it spilled out of the leggings, and the other half, including the line where her ass met her legs, was clearly visible through the unreasonably sheer fabric.

“Yeoreum…” Jay stuttered, but she didn’t let him finish his thought, as she flipped one leg over his head so she was straddling him, her head underneath his desk. Her pussy was clearly visible through the stretched leggings.

Jay was sometimes a little dense when it came to understanding when someone was flirting with him, but Yeoreum was being far too obvious for him at that point.

He coughed. “Yeoreum, if you keep doing that…”

“Maybe it’s like, under the back or something?” She crawled forward a bit and put her knees on the floor, arching her back to back her butt pop as much as she could.

“Oookay,” Jay said, grabbing her by the waist, “Let’s find the pen.”

He lifted Yeoreum up a bit and yanked her out from under the desk. She squeaked as he did, not expecting him to be quite so rough. Being the significantly larger person that he was, he easily flipped her over and picked her up, one hand cradling her back and the other almost fully engulfing one of her ass cheeks. She didn’t have the time to comment before he pulled their heads together.

The kiss was primal. Their tongues were in each other’s mouths without a second thought. In fact, there was hardly a first thought. Jay stood up with Yeoreum in his arms and pushed her up against a wall. Her legs wrapped around his back and she wriggled to grind herself against his stomach.

But the dynamic movement wasn’t over yet. Jay detached Yeoreum’s legs and tossed her over to her bed. She got a bit of wind knocked out of her when she landed, but that hardly mattered to her. She immediately sat back up to tear off her sports bra. She laid back to take off her leggings too, but Jay got to them first, actually ripping them open.

“H-hey! I really like th-- Oooh.” Yeoreum was on the verge of scolding Jay, but shut up instantly.

Jay’s face was right in the ripped section, tongue already lapping at everything within reach. He found her clit and she found her bliss, nearly tearing out both her own hair and his as ecstasy overtook her.

Yeoreum had been waiting for that moment for quite some time. She was the reason that student services were having such a hard time getting their rooms adjusted. It happened that she knew someone who knew a guy who knew someone else who could keep marking the case as finished any time some work was put into it.

And now that she had accomplished her mission of getting Jay to make the first move (more or less), she was losing her mind in the satisfaction. Jay’s face mashed up in her thighs, his lips and tongue stroking her from hood to taint and back, and the way he manhandled her legs out of his way had her on climaxing within minutes. Her legs clenched inward, but his arms kept her still. Her back and arms were still free to buck and spasm though. She gasped and her eyes rolled back. The tiniest thought floated in the back of her head that she’d released a monster, but it was shot down right away.

Jay had, at some point in the chaos, removed his own pants, so when he dragged Yeoreum off the bed before she’d recovered from her orgasm, she was met with his cock already pressed up against her cheek.

Yeoreum’s lust-addled mind still recognized what was going on. She opened her mouth and Jay put his dick in it. It was simple as that. Simple until Yeoreum began mindlessly bobbing back and forth on it. She slobbered all over Jay’s cock until her spit was dripping off of it, onto her chin, and between her tits.

Jay felt like he was in heaven, but he couldn’t stand having so little contact with Yeoreum’s beautiful body. He grabbed her under the arms and pulled. Her mouth and eyes both gaped open out of shock, and she quickly found herself well above him.

A sudden fear of heights struck Yeoreum and she wrapped her legs around Jay’s stomach, hands clenching at his hair. The extra contact was exactly what he wanted. He bear hugged her to hold her in place and put his mouth on her chest, as it was conveniently located immediately in front of his face. Her hair pulling became more insistent as Jay sucked at and all around her nipples, hard enough that she could certainly expect hickeys later. A fleeting thought passed through her mind that a hickey would be embarrassing, but she quickly realized who would be seeing it and dissolved back into the pleasure.

“Fuck me,” Yeoreum gasped.

She wasn’t kept waiting.

Jay dropped Yeoreum back onto the bed, but was immediately on top of her and between her legs. In their heat, it was almost entirely by accident that he penetrated her, but neither of them took the time to question it. They were too busy bucking against each other, hardly able to find a matching rhythm. Yeoreum clawed at Jay’s back, moaning desperately.

Jay’s mind was just as far gone. His arm scooped under Yeoreum’s, grabbing her hair and pulling her head back and down. Not only did she not protest, she got louder. “Yes! Fuck me!” she shouted, a bit hoarse. Jay dipped to her neck, sucking at the throat, feeling her moans vibrate through his head.

Once they finally found a pace that was perfect for them to crash into each other repeatedly, which was unreasonably fast, Jay pulled his head back. “You tortured me… for months… You know that?”

Yeoreum, head still cocked back, smiled. Her words were just as choppy as his. “I’d apologize… but then you… wouldn’t... punish… me.”

She grabbed his free hand and yanked it up toward her neck. Jay got the message immediately, but barely had the clarity of mind not to completely crush her throat. He wrapped his fingers around her neck and squeezed, just until the moment her moans became more strained. But at the same time, they sounded quite content.

Jay’s labored breaths however, turned into grunts. “I think… I’m going--”

“Inside!” Yeoreum interrupted him viciously. “Cum inside!” Her legs clamped around him, surprisingly powerful, leaving him with no choice.

His lips found hers again. Each of them was greedy, trying to be the one forcing their tongue into the other’s mouth.

He came hard, slamming deep inside Yeoreum as if he hadn’t been doing so all along, grinding their pelvises together. They both felt the cum bursting out of him and pumping her full, over and over for so long they lost themselves in each other’s mouths, with enough force and volume that some squeezed out, dripping down her ass.

They slowly parted, eyes hazy. Yeoreum’s head popped up and she pecked Jay on the lips. He chuckled and fell off of her, onto his side. “I’m uh, a little sore,” he said.

“Let me see if I can soothe you,” Yeoreum responded, twisting around until she was on her stomach, mouth engulfing Jay’s still-hard cock, ass near his face. He blinked.

“I meant more like my arms, but that works for me.”

Yeoreum popped off of his dick, leaving it half clean. “Then I’ll be on top next. You’ve been torturing me too, you know.”

“What? I thought we both came.” Jay spread the asscheeks in front of him, watching his cum ooze out of her.

“Not at the same time though.”

Jay laughed and slapped Yeoreum’s ass. “Isn’t that unrealistic?”

She bounced up on her knees, contacting her butt with Jay’s hovering hand. “We’ll just have to try until we find out. And also, do that again.”

Jay obliged, smacking her ass again. Yeoreum squeaked and licked his cock again, going back to her work of cleaning him off. She wiggled around, prompting him to keep spanking until she was finished. Her butt was a bright pink by then.

“And my homework?”

Yeoreum repositioned herself, ass pointed back at Jay, straddling his cock and holding it right at the entrance to her pussy. “Seems like you might be turning it in late.”

#wjsn smut #yeoreum #kpop smut #male oc #request

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nostalgiaruinedme · 3 years

Note

HI, just so you know, I'm in love with this side story with the Mikeys. I think it helps to balance out character development with the progress of the plot. I mean, I love those guys, but I NEED to know what the fuck will happen with everyone sooo, thanks for that. But a question: do you plan to have sporadically updates, like shattered glass, or will it hav a schedule, like dagger? Do you have to finish it before a specific chapter of dagger or could it continue after the two fics "catch up"?

While I would LOVE to have a schedule for it, it will have to be more scattered updates (though more consistently than Shattered Glass, since I actually have everything plotted out, vs Shattered Glass which is just whenever I have an idea).

Originally I wanted to have Our Shared Reflection posted in sync with Dagger so the storylines matched up chronologically... but I'm in college and got a lot of classes and have to keep up my grades, so the Mikeys will probably return to the main Dagger story before their side story is finished. It will still make sense though since I specifically am writing Dagger so that you can still understand it without reading ANY of the side story.

And I'm glad you like it!! The Mikeys are great and I think they definitely deserve their own book <3 and this will make it easier to progress the plot faster. I hope you like what's coming in the future with both stories too!

#thanks for the ask!#asks #dagger from the mirror #our shared reflection #tmnt

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willadisastercry · 3 years

Text

Shiro cauterizing Keith’s wounds during a mission and absolutely hating it

tw: not too vivid but still there depiction of intentionally burning someone’s skin

The soldier had Keith in a precarious hold. This wouldn’t end well if someone didn’t do something, but Keith couldn’t do much and Shiro was trying to stall. Hunk thinks he can get the message to the others that shit has gone down, but how hurt is Keith going to get before they can get to them?

“Drop your weapons or the red paladin dies!”

The last galra soldier that remained from the group that ambushed them twisted Keith’s arm until there was a crack soon drowned out entirely by his scream as his bayard finally fell from his grip. With a sickening snarl the soldier then pressed the tip of his gun further into Keith’s cheek.

“Okay, okay!” Shiro placated with his hands out in front of him.

“Hunk, put it down!”

“But Shiro...”

The soldier took Keith’s arm from where it had fallen limp against his side and pulled it behind his back. His scream was raw, his throat already hoarse.

“Put it down.”

Hunk obeyed this time, tossing his bayard away from him where it reverted back into its plain form.

“Now, let’s discuss how this is going to work...”

Hunk tuned everything else out, letting Shiro handle the negotiating so he could listen in on Pidge and Lance’s conversation over the coms. Keith’s helmet had long since been knocked off but he wasn’t sure why they couldn’t hear the conversation on Shiro’s end.

They were in the next squadrant over, waiting for an order that would never come. Shiro and the soldier continued to trade useless banter, knowing full well Shiro was stalling but the soldier seemed to be as well, probably waiting for reinforcements. He got an idea then and focused on the scene in front of him.

“... Emporer Zarkon will be most pleased to have a paladin so dear to the Champion in his possession—“

“I am not the Champion anymore.”

Shiro spoke evenly, his voice strong and sure as the soldier smiled.

“You’ll always be the Champion.”

Hunk could’ve sworn he saw a spark of purple from Shiro’s prosthetic hand, his heart hammering at the sight and all the more with what he was about to do. But he steeled himself and spoke before the others started again.

“Shiro isn’t your Champion...” he gulped, unable to hide the tremor in his voice as other voices of concern came over the com and Shiro’s admonishing gaze urged him to be quiet.

“What’s that yellow paladin? Speak up!” the soldier adjusted his grip on the blaster pointed at Keith.

He was a picture of calm, breath almost as even as Shiro’s but when his eyes met Hunk’s they shone wide with fear, the usual warm indigo a deep, pleading violet.

What they were pleading for he couldn’t be sure, but he assumed something along the lines of what Shiro’s were.

“HUNK! What’s happening?”

But Hunk was determined. He knew what he was doing.

“You heard me...”

“Pidge—“

“Triangulating their location now...”

Hunk stood up straighter than he’d been standing before and looked to the soldier once more.

“Shiro isn’t your Champion.”

Shiro looked like Hunk usually did, like he wanted to throw up.

“Got it! We’re on our way now, hold on!”

Keith’s face fell with the same sort of gut wrenching despair.

“He’s the Black Paladin and he’s a hero, no thanks to you or...”

“Or who?” the soldiers smirk twisted up even more, the excitement in his eyes flaring at the exchange.

“Or Zarkon.”

“Emporer Zarkon,” the soldier spat. “And he’s hardly a Black Paladin, he doesn’t even hav—yes? Come in, this is...”

While the soldier communicated with someone in his own com system Hunk shared a look with Shiro, neither daring to move an inch otherwise as Hunk mouthed something to him with a steady watch back on the soldier.

When Hunk looked back to Shiro his face seemed more hopeful and set with something else. He met Hunk’s eyes with admiration and nodded. A new plan seemed to be brewing that Hunk wasn’t entirely sure he was aware of, but he’d set something into motion.

Of what, he didn’t know, but he didn’t need to. He’d trusted his unruly gut for once and it had payed off.

“You two!” the soldier faced them again.

“Turn around and start walking.”

“Why would we do that?” Shiro questioned smugly.

The soldier only laughed and in one swift motion traded the blaster at Keith’s face for his giant hand around his throat. They both cried out when he clawed at the hold as the soldier choked him, not letting go until his hand fell away and he sagged against him, breathless but still conscious. His choking grip turned into a threatening one, the claws of his massive hand pressing down instead.

“You will do what I say because if you don’t, the red paladin dies.”

The blaster was now pointed at them. Shiro met Keith’s weary eyes now, half lidded and lazy as the redness left his face.

“Hunk,” Shiro motioned for him to turn around with him, their hands raising to rest on the back of their heads.

“Walk!”

They walked and Hunk listened to Lance and Pidge over their coms as they closed the distance between them, apparently not encountering much resistance as they did of which was unanimously decided, not a good thing.

“They’re moving, shit!”

“Well, that means they’re not in a cell or anything yet... we still have time.”

“According to this schematic the hallway they’re in is pretty long... we’d be pretty exposed if we came up this way... hey, this room has a second entrance... if we hurry—“

“But we don’t know how many soldiers are with them, it’s no use if we’re all captured. We need a less conspicuous way, maybe somewhere I can snipe...”

“Hm, less conspicuous... I wonder...”

“GAH!”

Keith wailed and the two boys in front of him stopped dead in their tracks but didn’t dare turn around when the blaster they knew was pointed at them buzzed to life.

“Resisting is pointless, boy.”

“Not... r’sisting...” Keith grumbled scratchily, if his voice had sounded hoarse before it was well past wrecked now.

Four beads of blood made their way down his neck from where the soldier had broken the skin after Keith had tripped over his own feet, still lightheaded from before and not able to keep up with the soldier’s footsteps.

“What’s that?” his pressure on the now open wounds on his throat increased and more blood spilled down.

“N’thing.”

“That’s what I thought, keep walking!”

“Hunk?! We have a plan! Keep stalling if you can, just don’t let them get you into a cell or anything.”

He didn’t respond, he just keep walking with his hands at the back of his head.

The soldier would shove Keith occasionally if he stumbled or slowed. His throat had stopped bleeding for the most part and he’d caught his breath, but his arm remained twisted back so if the soldier shoved him too hard or walked too fast he had to shift to keep from crying out.

And when he couldn’t help but grunt or wince, the soldier would twist it further. He was certain something was broken with the way it throbbed and pulsed but couldn’t do much except try and anticipate what would end up making it hurt worse.

They walked for another minute until anything else happened. The soldier halting the group once again to speak into his communication device. Hunk hadn’t heard anything directed at him from Lance and Pidge from a while, just hushed acknowledgments and questions and orders.

“...what do you mean the doors are jammed, the doors don’t jam!”

Pidge.

“...yes, I still have them in my possession... I will be waiting at the east entrance then... well, update me when you do know!”

Yeesh. Hunk would have thought he was overhearing a domestic if he didn’t know better, smiling outwardly that Pidge’s hacking could muster up such frustration in the supposedly infallible galra soldiers.

It was a moment later when they had started walking again that Hunk heard what he’d been desperately hoping to hear.

“Hunk! It’s time. Please make sure no one tries to be a hero, thanks... okay, Pidge inbound in 3... 2...”

Hunk thought he might be as sick as Shiro had looked when he first started all this as he waited for whatever was about to happen to happen. He wasn’t sure what made him certain whatever was going to happen would be in front of them, so he wasn’t feigning the terror in his shriek when a door behind them clattered to the ground with a booming thud.

The soldier whipped around instantly, planting his back to the wall so he could eye what had just happened behind them while keeping his blaster trained on Shiro and Hunk.

There was nothing for a moment until Pidge’s grappling hook came hurtling towards them at the same time a vent above them clattered down. The soldier was bewildered at first but it soon became more that he was extremely pissed off and so he turned his gun back to Keith, the nozzle aimed at his leg.

“Welcome, green and blue paladins of voltron. Do come out and greet us properly, you’re just in time for the show,” the soldier delivered, firing his blaster before Pidge’s bayard wrapped itself around it and wrenched it from his grip.

Keith let out an inhuman sound before his legs gave out beneath him, but the galra lifted him before he could crumple entirely, maneuvering his writhing form so that he covered everything vital, effectively obscuring any shot Lance could find from his position in the air duct above them.

“Damnit,” he huffed over the coms, “Hunk I have no shot... not, not without going through Keith.”

Understanding washed over Hunk like he’d been flattened by a cement truck. He seriously would have to heave at some point, but knew that the next few moments were vital with the soldier’s claws still pressed to Keith’s neck.

Shiro was trying to reason with the soldier again, but everyone knew it was futile. The only reason Keith was still breathing was because he was holding out for backup, but with the circumstances growing worse and worse for the soldier, their hearts sank knowing full well the only way it would end for both of them.

The galra soldier would kill Keith if he grew desperate enough, in turn killing himself.

The hand that held the blaster moved to Keith’s side. The soldier couldn’t threaten to claw anywhere terribly vital with the awkward grip he had him in, all of his weight was being supported with the soldier’s arms under his armpits.

He had to bend his own neck to angle himself behind Keith’s hanging head, the paling boy only meeting the massive soldier’s chest with his shoulders.

Keith was eyeing the hint of blue peaking out of the vent above them, his face scrunching up with something other than pain for a moment before he met Hunk’s gaze.

“If there is one,” he croaked, his words now directed at the vent, “take it.”

“Sorry man,” Lance breathed.

Shiro didn’t even have time to make sense of what had just been said before the sound of a blaster echoed from the metal of the small vent above them.

Keith’s shoulder jerked forward violently as the blast tore through it, the soldier making a horrible gurgling sound before releasing him. He tumbled forward listlessly into Shiro who clutched him close and lowered him down slowly, a pool of blood forming quickly beneath him from the gaping wounds in his thigh and shoulder.

“We’ve gotcha buddy, everything’s okay now—“

“Shit, shit, shit!”

“What’s wrong Pidge?!”

The sound of metal clanging against metal rang through the hallway from where Pidge had been stationed.

“I’ve got... company... someone get here now!”

“I got it, you guys help the mullet,” Lance stated resolutely, tossing his bayard to the floor before gripping the edge of the vent, dangling his legs down and jumping.

He landed in a crouch, snatched the discarded blaster up as well as his own weapon and took off sprinting.

Hunk took one look at the scene in front of him and had to choke back bile. The dead galra soldier was slumped next to a lifeless Keith and agonized Shiro.

“-nk, HUNK! Come here, I need your help now!”

His feet moved without him even meaning them to, carrying him unsteadily to kneel beside his friends, his back to the soldier.

Parts of his armor were missing to reveal the still burning flesh of his blaster wounds, the black undershirt adequately melted into his flesh. Hunk’s stomach turned again.

There was so much blood beneath him...

And Keith was so pale.

The boy didn’t have much tint to begin with, but now his porcelain complexion resembled more of a grey, decaying one. Like he was already dead. Hunk fought more bile coming up his throat before he heard Shiro’s voice again.

“Did you hear what I just said? I need you to hold him down—“

“What?! Why?!”

“He’s bleeding too much... the blaster went clean through his armor from such a close range...”

Shiro’s eyes were focused but his face was set in a grimace, his tone solemn and finite.

“I-I have to cauterize the wounds...”

Oh...

Shiro looked at his prosthetic arm with disgust and Hunk realized what he was about to do.

“...or he’ll bleed out before we even get to the lions, not to mention getting out of here is going to be trickier than we planned... so I need you to hold him, can you do that?”

Hunk swallowed the salvia collecting in his mouth and nodded. His job wasn’t done yet. He’d set the rescue into motion, but his friends still needed him.

His gut was what saved them, Hunk wasn’t going to let it be what killed Keith.

“His leg first, it’s bleeding the most...”

Hunk slid down to Keith’s lower half. The wound was worse up close, angry and precise, the hole perfectly circular all the way through. He switched to breathing through his mouth before he discovered what burning flesh smelled like and compromised the whole effort.

Shiro’s hand blazed to life and his face fell over Keith’s, his eyes were slitted and glassy but very much open. Both boys wishing silently that he wouldn’t remain conscious for long once Shiro started.

“Keith? Hey, buddy. I have to do something to help you and I need you to stay as still as you can...”

Shiro shifted back into place at his legs once he nodded as best he could.

“This is going to hurt...” he moved his hand to hover over the wound and Keith closed his eyes.

“S’okay,” he assured with a shudder.

“I’m sorry.”

The sound that filled the hallway was earpeiercing. Hunk would have been concerned about it revealing their whereabouts had they not already been known.

Keith shook steadily, his entire body drenched in sweat within seconds. His eyes remained pressed closed and his hands were balled up in as much of a fist as they could make despite injuries to both arms.

Shiro was lifting his leg at the knee and pressing over the exit wound before Keith could regain his breath. The next scream was more of a howl, the pitch rising into something somehow more piercing than the last.

“Almost done,” Shiro offered as both of them repositioned themselves at Keith’s chest, Hunk’s hands falling to his good shoulder and opposite collarbone.

“Gimme... a second...” he huffed uneasily, fighting unconsciousness for the sake of the alternative, being woken up by yet another scorching burn from his brother’s alien prosthesis.

“M’kay... d-do it—“

Hunk was closer this time and had to use more leverage to pin Keith down, so he wasn’t as lucky when it came to avoiding the smell. He was forced to breathe in the terrible heat of his friend’s burning skin when the sight of the steam and melting flesh set him off and had him clamping his lips together before he spewed everywhere. He barely managed to choke his sick back down when the smell assaulted him seconds after.

All the while fighting his own reaction he also had to keep Keith steady. He was slighter than Hunk and injured but gave his friend a run of his money as he writhed. There was a pang in his chest at the thought of his grip leaving bruises with how forceful he had to be so Shiro could finish his work on the front of his shoulder.

Keith slumped down almost immediately after Shiro lifted his hand the third time, his head turning from side to side like he wanted to cry as he fought to stay awake again.

“Help me roll him on his side,” Shiro ordered as he began gently lifting Keith’s body. Hunk pulled at the same time and caught him, holding him in a sort of embrace when his trembling hand came to grab at his leg, letting his head fall against it once he found purchase.

He didn’t even complain about being pushed onto his broken arm, that pain was barely identifiable then.

“Last one...”

Keith didn’t cry out this time. He’d finally passed out, his head limp on Hunk’s leg as Shiro seered into his back with his purple heat.

Hunk couldn’t hold it back any longer and turned his head to the side to vomit. He thought he could hear Shiro choking down gags as well but waved the thought away as he tried his best to aim his mess away from the injured Keith still collapsed on his leg.

When he returned Shiro looked as green as him as he moved to slide his arms under Keith.

“We should go help the others, I’ll hang back with him while you cover us.”

Shiro spoke mechanically, like something else had taken over for the time being. Hunk didn’t question any of it though, he just let Keith be taken up and activated his bayard.

The scene they found where Pidge had been was an impressive one, their teammates hunched over on their knees in front of a dozen sentries sprawled in heaps and still smoking.

“Woah, d’the mullet look that bad before...?” Lance asked through thick inhales. Pidge looked up from her own recovery position and surveyed Keith’s limp form, her mind working over the missing armor now piled on his stomach and the dark patches that should be bleeding blaster wounds.

“He’s okay for now—we, er, handled the worst of it,” Hunk offered when Shiro remained quiet.

“We should start making our way to the next quadrant before the next wave arrives, from there it’s a straight shoot to our lions...” Pidge stated, “what are we doing about Red though?”

“She’ll know what to do, she probably knows something’s wrong, and if not Black can tow her, let’s move.”

They only met one other wave of sentries on their way to their lions, effortlessly slipping out of the galra ship before they could reconcile the systems Pidge jammed and detain them.

No one spoke much, Lance too weary to ask what had everyone so solemn and Pidge too wise for her own good, piecing it together on her own and knowing better than to open that can of worms there.

Hunk was as silent and withdrawn as Shiro, neither boy appearing all that present, though Hunk would respond when pulled back to reality with a question. Shiro didn’t. He held onto Keith like he was his lifeline, like if he let go the younger boy would disappear.

His gaze was unfocused and his jaw was set, like if he spoke or unfurled his brows he’d break.

Because he would. He held Keith the entire way back to the castle, Black and Red piloting for them both when he crumbled as soon as he’d set foot on Black’s ramp, finally letting loose the tears of guilt he harbored over having to hurt Keith who was basically his brother.

He was the closest thing to home Keith ever had. Not the house kind, more of the solid and unwavering warmth in knowing you have somewhere to come back to kind. Except for Keith his home was a someone.

All of that in one person... who’d abandoned him... twice.

And now he’d caused him unspeakable agony.

Sure it was to save him from bleeding out, but that detail meant nothing to Shiro then. You weren’t supposed to hurt family, not the way he had.

He held Keith close and wept. He wept for them both. He wept for it all. For the tragedies of their terrible pasts. For the scars scored into the uncertainty of their futures. For everything that was and everything that could be.

The tears were unrelenting. They fell over how the unwanted contraption that had saved his life was what saved Keith’s in the most excruciating way possible. The place where the alien metal met his flesh burned as he imagined Keith’s might, a crawling, itching fury that made him tremble.

His body shook for the fact that he had to lead a group of teenagers into war when they were far too young for such a responsibility. Eyes burned for how he had to do this so soon after his own hellish tragedy. His chest ached, his head pounded, his body tingled. He felt all of the feeling he had to push away to be stoic for them, for himself, because if he wasn’t... than who would be?

It was cathartic and healing. The guilt he had for hurting Keith still very much there and raw but the edge had been taken off so that it didn’t feel so heavy and horrible. He knew that he’d had to do it, he could see that now.

He composed himself just before Black landed, combing back the stringy rivulets of damp hair that blocked Keith’s eyes from view. They were closed and fluttering peacefully, his entire face so relaxed and free of anguish that it looked like he was dreaming. Shiro hoped it was something nice. Something not close to this, any of this.

Hunk looked like a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders when he saw Shiro emerge from Black with a sad smile on his face and not a blank, pained stare.

Allura and Coran were shocked to find Keith’s wounds in the state they were in once they got him to the infirmary, the entire team in awe of of all three of them once they discovered what he and Hunk did to save him.

“That explains the blood-curdling screams we were hearing,” Lance gaped.

“We were scared more sentries had dropped in on you after we heard the first one... figured something like that was going on though,” Pidge added.

“It might take a tick longer to get him into a cryosuit... the under armor suit is melted pretty severely into his skin. No fault to you, Shiro, it was likely already in such a way from the initial blast.”

“R-right...” he turned away then, stumbling as he tried to find a trash can but his stomach was churning and he couldn’t help it when he only managed to make it a couple feet away from the others before vomitting.

“Hey,” Allura stepped away from the exam table Keith was on, a slew of carts around him with instruments and supplies to take on the predicament.

“Don’t you think for a second that you are allowed to feel guilty about this.”

Her tone was firm and her voice soft as she pulled Shiro from the hole he’d slipped back into, her hand on his back as he wiped his mouth with the towel she’d handed him.

“You saved Keith’s life. He knows how you feel about your hand and that you’d do anything for him. You proved that is all. You should be proud of yourself, and of him for believing in you, like we all are.”

Shiro let out the air he’d been holding in, the breath felt like a rubber band snapping, any residual weight from guilt evaporating as if it’d never been there.

“Th-thank you, Allura.”

She smiled at him fondly, her hand cuping his face before moving to his shoulder and guiding him back to the table to assist in separating Keith from his under suit.

The three of them and Pidge all taking a wound, Lance and Hunk fishing them tools and cleaning away the debris they uncovered. Pidge’s tiny fingers proved more than useful when it came to the ridiculously precise bits.

Everyone was exhausted by the time his singed skin was free of all melted fabric.

“Good work back there guys, seriously,” Shiro directed his statement at Lance and Pidge once they’d gotten Keith in a pod and settled in for the long night, everyone pretty much refusing to leave his side for the foreseeable future.

“We would’ve been in some deep shit if you hadn’t taken over...”

Shiro leaned his head back against the door of the cryopod next to Keith’s, Pidge settled in his lap like a cat, her legs wrapped around Lance who was leaned heavily against an already half asleep Hunk.

“Well you’d stolen Pidge’s gig when you went all McGyver mode, but turns out she can hold her own just fine as the interim front line of voltron, who knew?—Owwh!”

“If anyone wants to congratulate me for withholding my vomit until after Shiro was done cauterizing Keith’s wounds,” Hunk yawned with a stretch, “I won’t stop you!”

“You did great Hunk, you orchestrated the entire rescue while I tried to play diplomat. Sometimes I forget whose supposed to be leading who sometimes.”

“We all learn from each other everyday we’re up here,” Allura mused as she draped several blankets over the bunch, tucking one in around Pidge and wrapping another over Shiro’s shoulders.

“Yeah, and you’re just the one we keep around because you have a valid license in case anyone asks—AHA, stop! I’m gonna cry, stop tickling me!”

Shiro eventually stopped, but only after she got the hiccoughs from laughing too aggressively.

The group fell asleep in a heap of blankets that night and returned to said heap the next night and the night after that. Shiro was the only one awake when Keith’s pod whooshed open early in the morning on the third day.

Coran couldn’t estimate when he’d pop out once it passed the time it suggested he’d needed for the internal stuff, staying in for 9 more hours to fully repair the burns and replenish his blood count.

He’d said he would probably be drained when he got out so Shiro being there was the only reason he hadn’t fallen straight to his face.

“Finally,” he laughed as he brought them both to the ground.

“Lance wouldn’t stop going on about how you’d chosen now of all times to listen to him about getting ‘proper beauty sleep’.”

Keith smiled tiredly, his eyes barely cracked open, heavy with exhaustion now rather than pain.

“Thanks for doing that back there... didn’t feel too great at the time—ha, but it was very needed.”

“Well someone’s gotta keep you idiots alive.”

“Glad it’s you, Shiro... hey... can-can I sleep now? M’really tired...”

“Yeah, you can sleep. I’ve gotcha, buddy. I’ve always got you.”

#keith whump #whumpee #vld #whump scenario #voltron legendary disaster #voltron whump #voltron fic #takashi shirogane #shiro/keith

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joa-quin-phoe-nix-fan · 3 years

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I AM ALIVE Charlie Sisters FF/imagine

I AM ALIVE

You had begun to worry. Charlie had been gone for 6 months, with only 7 letters even giving you any proof that he was still alive. You sat near your window, in the open prairie, worrying away like you did every day, thinking about how he could be dead, he could be lost, he could be kidnapped by one of his targets, he might not see his baby be born. You rubbed your belly sadly, the time was drawing close, and you really wanted your baby to see its daddy. More than anything you wanted Charlie to see his baby. You couldn’t imagine life without Charlie, who would take you hunting every Sunday that he was home? Who would make you the best baked beans in the entire west coast? Who would make funny, rhyming names for things like a Mean-Bean or a Dorsie-Horsie? Who would help you with the baby? Who would love you like Charlie did? You sat there silently, wracking your mind of reasons why he hadn’t written in 2 months. All of them more worrying than the last, when you heard a knock at the door.

You jumped up as fast as you could in your condition, rushing to the door, hoping and praying to see Charlie’s smug face looking back at you, holding the money he earned from the Commodore, ready to sweep you off your feet, covering your face with kisses. Sadly, it wasn’t him. It was Rex, a colleague of Charlie’s that you knew to avoid most of the time, Charlie said he was a sleaze who took married women away from their husbands while they were away. Normally, when he came over, you could almost smell the desire coming from him, but this time he looked genuinely concerned, his eyebrows furrowed close together. “Hey there, um...Missus Y/N. Hav-have ya heard from Charlie recently?” you moved closer to the doorframe, hoping it was one of his womanizing schemes “Uh...no Rex, I haven’t.” You started to panic, “Why do ya ask? Did somethin’ happen to Charlie? Oh Lord please tell me this is just another plot of yers!” Rex waved his hands in front of him, defensively, “Woah, woah YN, please don’t get ya bloomers in a bunch! The commodore has just been askin’ ‘cus he ain’t heard from him in a while...and the last thing we recieved from him was this...” he handed you a leaf, and your heart jumped you knew that even if he ran out of paper, he was known to send leaves with letters written on them. You turned it over and gasped. On the other side of the leaf was written, in now dried blood; ‘I AM ALIVE” Rex sighed and held your shoulder gently, “and I promise ya darlin’ this ain’t no plot...we’re all worried about him, and by association, you.” Your stomach dropped. This was the worst situation you could’ve imagined for Charlie, him MIA in the dangerous wilderness, after some bloodthirsty criminal, with the last message from him being vague and written in blood. You breathed in sharply to hold in the tears, “I-I ain’t heard nothin’ from him, Rex...I’m sorry.” Rex sighed sadly and shook his head, “I’m the one who should be sayin’ that to you, Missus...I’m real sorry...” he bowed slightly, tipped his hat, and left. Looking sadder than a dog left out in the rain.

You closed the door, putting your back against it when it had shut. Tears filling up your eyes as you held you hand up to your mouth in shock and slid down slowly to the floor, the weight of that news hitting you like a ton of bricks. It was one thing for him to not update you on what was happening, but he never forgot to message the Commodore. Where was he? Maybe he was too far to send letters...yeah maybe that was it. He couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t be.

You woke up much later, still by the door, your eyes still stinging from crying yourself to sleep. It was dark out already. You grabbed the nearby stairwell railing to pull yourself up. You knew that the cows sure as hell were not gonna be pleased with how late you were but it’d be better if you milked them tonight, rather than have a cow-riot tomorrow morning. After you heaved yourself up again, you grabbed your gun, your bucket and a lantern, you walked outside, ready to vent to the cows about your day. It was a rather silly habit, but a habit that was strangely therapeutic and one that despite you being rather upset, seemed to calm the cows down...maybe they just liked hearing you talk.

As you walked to the cows, you saw what you assumed was a figure riding a couple acres away. You took no notice, thinking it was a lonesome hunter going back home after a long hunt. It was only after the first three cows that you realized that the sound of hooves hitting the dusty ground had gotten much closer. ‘It’s someone looking for Charlie!’ you thought as you jumped behind a bunch of hay bales, cocking your gun before they got close enough to hear you do it. You had no idea how much time had passed by the time you heard the hooves stop by the stables, the rider jump down, and hitch up his horse. ‘Why would a killer or a robber do that?’ you wondered to yourself, with your finger drifting off of the trigger as an impossible thought passed through your head, ‘is that Charlie?’

You heard him walk slowly and tiredly up on the porch, shuffling his feet as if removing them from the porch would mean that he would instantly tumble over. If this was Charlie, you had never seen him this tired and sad before. Then you suddenly heard the man drop to his knees, at this point you thought it wouldn’t hurt to just peek at the man, you looked up, seeing a man with significantly longer hair and a smaller build than Charlie, kissing your porch! At this point you knew for a fact that it wasn’t your husband so you jumped up, grabbing your gun and aimed it at the man as you quickly walked towards him. “You best be getting off ma porch! My husband’s a bounty hunter and if he were here, he’d kill you quicker than I gaddamned will!” You knew it was a bad idea to tell this stranger that you were home alone but because he looked so small and sickly, you knew you could hold your own in a fight against him. The man crawled back, his hands in front of his head, shaking like a leaf in a tornado. “please...listen to me. I ain’t who ya think i am...” he whispered, hoarsely. Even with the hoarseness, you knew that voice as if it was your own. You dropped the gun, running close to him and cupping your hands around his angular face, “Charlie? Oh my god, is that really you, honey?” Charlie nodded weakly, tears now running down his face like a waterfall. “yeah, it’s me darlin’...”

After a long moment of hugging each other and crying, you brought Charlie into the house, sure that he was cold and hungry. As he sat in his armchair, you truly saw the difference, the crease where the top of his head usually ended was miles above the small, unshaven man sitting in the chair. He looed like a tiny scared puppy in a doghouse built for a doberman. It would almost be hilarious if the situation wasn’t so serious. After giving him some bread, butter and chicken, that he scarfed down, almost choking as he did it, you started talking with him.

“W-where have ya been? I was worried sick...” you asked, hugging yourself and barely being able to even look at him in this situation, suddenly you remembered, reached into your pocket and pulled out the leaf letter and handed it to him, sitting down next to the chair, “and what...what is this?” he held the leaf weakly and sighed, defeated “I...was robbed...” he sighed, his voice only slightly less hoarse now, “My horse, my gun, my money, my paper and pens, my food, everything.” He stared off to space as he told his tale. “I barely begged hard enough to keep my clothes and the tiny shreds of my dignity that I had left. So I had to walk or crawl my way home. I ate wild animals and random leaves and berries I found. I got myself poisoned that way twice. I never took you out of my mind. When a man on a horse came past me and offered his help in exchange for my shoes, I didn’t ask for his horse, I simply asked him to send a letter to Oregon for me. That was the leaf. After he left me I realized my mistake and i kicked myself right there, but much further on I saw a horse lying on the ground, it honest to god looked dead. But it weren’t. I fed it half of the food I had scavenged and somehow it survived the last month of the journey. That’s the horse that’s outside, could ya maybe feed him? I named him Savior. He really helped me when I was at my worst.” This story was terribly sad, it rocked you to your core that he had gone through this all this time while you were at home, moping about how lonely you were. “I’m so sorry...if I had known I-” Charlie shushed you gently, stroking your hair, “You had no way of knowin’...I’m just glad you’re safe and alive, and that the baby hasn’t been born yet.” You giggled. Despite how sad the situation was, you were incredibly grateful that he was home and you loved how he could easily make a morbid situation even slightly humorous.

He stood up slowly, pulling you up at the same time. Once you were both standing fully (which took a while) he held you close to his chest. Despite him being much skinnier, he still stood quite a bit taller than you, he held your head up to his heart, it sounded much stronger and healthier than you expected. “It’s so loud...” you whispered to him, he chuckled lightly “It’s singing to you, ‘cause it knows you’re here...”

sorry if the ending is kind of short XD I still have no idea how to end stories correctly lol

#charlie sisters #charlie sisters x reader #joaquin phoenix imagine #joaquin phoenix #joaquin phoenix charlie sisters

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gegenji · 4 years

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Talks of Tea, Textiles, and Travel

RP Partner: @jancisstuff Date: 12 June 2020

Jancis Milburga enters the smithy, her arms full of a folded padded robe and box on top. Smiling at the reception, she asked for Chachanji, asks how they are doing, and continues to talk as she walks around the small shop to see what curiousities are stocked this time. The moment Chachanji comes into view she beams brightly.

Chachanji Gegenji || The hammering from below gives a solid hint to where the little Lalafell is, but a chime system set up from the desk to the smithy itself catches his attention as soon as it's rung. It's but a couple moments before the little Lalafell crests the stairs, and - noting who has come to visit - echoes Jancis' bright expression. "Ah, Ms. Jancis! Hallo!"

Jancis Milburga: "Chachanji! Althyk's Joy I am glad to see you again. Letters are nice, of course. Dare say it is a treat. I brought that robe you asked for and some tea from the Pillars. The House Hailenarte dries their own blend that I thought you or when others come to enjoy. May I join you downstairs? Did not have a chance to see your workshop before and it sounds like you were in the middle of a project."

Chachanji Gegenji: "Oh, th' robe tha' we were talkin' 'bout puttin' a linin'a chain mail inta fer protection?" he chirped in curious clarification, stepping forward to offer some assistance to the load she was carrying. "'n a'course ya can! Was jus' fixin' up some'a me own equipment in prep fer any troubles wit our next sub trip. C'mon down! Th' kitchen's down there too, so we can drop off th' tea too!"

Jancis Milburga smiles, thanking him as she hands over the box of tea. Gifts first. Though, at the density of tea within it's a close second to the robe for weight. "Thank you. I would like to hear more how your updates to the ship have gone. Dare say some of the Maelstrom folks I told about it thought I was telling a pub tale at first!"

Chachanji Gegenji takes the box and gives her a big ol' smile as he turns to waddle his way with it back down the stairs. "Oh, sure thin'. Honestly, we didn't get ta do much work wit th' ship thi' time, but tha's 'cuz somethin' more crazy happened. Involvin' storm machines 'n zombie fish men!"

Chachanji Gegenji tries to just get the box of tea up onto the counter but... between the counter being a bit high and the awkwardness of the size of the box, the Lalafell gives up on "the easy idea" after a couple times and patters around into the kitchen proper to put the tea box somewhere safe and dry.

Jancis Milburga looks around, just as curious to take in the kitchen and space as much as his words. She goes around the corner to really look at the size of the cooking area and storage. "Crazy is a small word for either one of those happening alone. I have not heard of such things." Jancis Milburga: "This kitchen is quite different. I will miss working closely around one another when I stay the night and help with cooking."

Chachanji Gegenji: "Well, ta be fair, I didn't know there was a storm machine 'til talkin' wit ev'ryone afterward," he admitted as he put the box away and turned back to her. "Jus' tha' there was a big ol' storm brewin' when we got there. Had to pull th' ship up onto th' beach 'n then help make levies 'n stuff ta help deal wit th' stormy waters!" He blinks at her comment and looks about the kitchen. "Ah, I 'spose it IS a bit less cozy, huh? Still, it has more space fer more nummy food 'n some more tools ta help-- Chachanji Gegenji: --make it!"

Jancis Milburga apologizes, "I meant it fondly! This is wonderful and you are right. We can make a lot of things. And everyone else who stays here! You build such nices homes, Chachanji." Jancis Milburga: "Especially as Torene grows and wants to help, too. That will be three pairs of hands at least."

Chachanji Gegenji: "Ah, all th' thanks should go ta th' builder tha' th' folks at th' Roadhouse suggested ta me fer when I was thinkin'a makin' some minor changes." A bashful chuckle. "Ended up bein'... a lil' bit more than jus' some minor changes in th' end, though." A scratching at his floof that pauses and his mood immediately brightens on the mention of little Torene. "Ah! How's lil' Torene doin', anyroad? Prolly glad th' weather's warmin' up 'n bein' able ta go 'round outside more?"

Jancis Milburga smiles, "She is well. Alas, the weather does not warm up much in the Pillars. Her uncle gifted her with paints. So she has been enjoying those. She makes the most amazing swirls of colors. You are right, though. Staying elsewhere for the Summer would be nice." Jancis Milburga: "And staying with good friends."

Chachanji Gegenji: "Oh, yeah... 's always so cold up 'round those parts." He shivers a little, his dislike of colder climes shining through a little. He recovers quickly, though. "Well, th' guest room's yers if'n ya guys ev'r want ta come by here," he stated with a nod. "Will need ta see what she's managed ta paint too!"

Jancis Milburga beams, "You would like some of her art?"

Chachanji Gegenji: "A'course! Would love ta see what's she's makin'," he responds with another nod. "Who knows. Mebbe I can get some put up 'round th' place. Give it s'more of a homely touch upstairs."

Jancis Milburga: "I will ask her to make one for you. That is a wonderful idea. Art is meant to be shared. Put up. I will not forget. Forgive me, we were talking about preparing your armor after the seas were too stormy. And purposefully it sounds like. That makes no sense. Save for a sure wind, sailors prefer calm seas."

Chachanji Gegenji chuckles. "'s fine, 's fine," he reassures her with a wave of his hand. "Well, th' place we're tryin' ta get to under th' water has a weather machine 'r somethin' innit, apparently. So - since both times we were gonna take th' sub out th' weather got bad - I started wonderin' if'n somethin' was up. Was thinkin' it was th' kami warnin' us'a th' dangers... but 'pparently could be tha' thin' too. Though we dunno if'n it's bein' used actively ta stop us or jus'... y'know, coincidence." Chachanji Gegenji: "Will hafta see if'n it happens a third time, I 'spose."

Jancis Milburga furrows her brow, "The wavekin being hostile, the weather forced to be the same. Nymeia's Grace, that would be quite the coincidence. And there are little ones involved. You are right to get prepared for the worst while expecting the best." Jancis Milburga: "And you spoke of zombies." Jancis Milburga frowns more.

Chachanji Gegenji: "Yeah. 'n not jus' wit me armor. 'pparently Virara's been down there too... so I figgered I'd see if'n she'd be willin' ta come help," he stated with a nod. "'cuz... yeah. 'pparently some of th' other folks have dealt wit these zombie fishmen 'n never told me." He pouts, it seemed to be a bit of a sore spot for some reason. "'specially considerin' some of th' ones tha' showed up were pretty big! Like... not full Gojirafell big but... still pretty big!" He motioned with his hands in some vague-- Chachanji Gegenji: --attempt to imply how tall they were. Chachanji Gegenji: "... Act'lly, considerin' how many there were durin' tha' storm 'n th' danger they caused ta th' levies 'n stuff... I may'a thought 'bout goin' Big ta try'n distract 'em 'r hold 'em off..." He scratches at his cheek. "'c-course, th' LAST time sea folk saw tha' form... didn't go too well, as ya 'member..." Referring to the boat trip to Kugane. "So... 'm glad we managed ta distract 'em instead wit'out me havin' ta do tha'..."

Jancis Milburga tries to see the invisible measurements he motions on. "Thal's Flame." She swears quietly. Jancis Milburga: "That is true. It could cause others to run into harm out of confusion. Still a good thought, though, when the need is greatest. Or perhaps under the waves, before it reaches the others?"

Chachanji Gegenji: "Mebbe..." He seems a bit thoughtful on the subject. Perhaps a couple of situations had come up where he felt going Big might've actually been useful, a bit of a detour from his usual feeling of not using it except in absolute dire emergencies. When it might be too late by that point anyway. "'s... somethin' I'll hafta think on. 'course, usin' it when we're in th' sub or down in th' undersea place we're goin'... might not be such a good idea." An awkward chuckle.

Jancis Milburga smiles thoughtfully, "Sounds like the armor you made for the ship though withstood enough that you did not have to. It was not compromised. You are so aware of others around you. Do you think you could tell the crew or some of them of your abilities?" Jancis Milburga: "I am lucky, I was there figuring it out with you."

Chachanji Gegenji: "I mean... mebbe?" he admitted. "I mean, Ms. Aya is one'a th' folks takin' part 'n she's a good friend." He fidgets, though. "But... mebbe it ain't such a good idea? After all, there's already a lot we're dealin' wit 'tween our goals 'n Ms. Seseka's goals 'n th' Eglantines' goals... 'n tha's ev'n a'fore all th' stuff with th' place we're goin' ta gets added in. What wit th' fishmen zombies 'n th' weather machine 'n whatev'r other gadgets they gots down there..." Chachanji Gegenji: "I... dun really want to add more potential pro'lems 'r distractions ta th' pile."

Jancis Milburga nods, "I have no doubt you know the best approach and the capabilities of everyone with you as much as your own. It is nice to think it through outloud. I like it." Jancis Milburga: "Then the armor."

Chachanji Gegenji: "I 'unno 'bout th' -best- approach," he admits bashfully. "Though... mebbe I should look inta ways ta make sure I dun go big while 'm down there. Mebbe take one'a Tiroro's ol' antimagic potions a'forehand jus' in case..." He cants his head this way and that thoughtfully. And then he blinks. "Oh! Right! Th' armor. Should we get yer robe all chainmail'd up?"

Jancis Milburga squeezes the robe draped over her arms. "I meant yours, but if you wish to look over this now and figure out what would work well for me."

Chachanji Gegenji: "Oooh! Yeah. Me armor should be plenty good down there, 'specially if'n we also have someone like Virara 'round ta help wit zombie-punchin'," he affirms after a bit of an embarassed blush and chuckle. "'n yeah! I can do it now. I haven't needed ta break out me armor as much as'a late so... mosta what I was doin' was makin' some minor adjustments 'n jus' makin' sure it was all ship-shape fer... uh... wearin' on th' ship."

Jancis Milburga: "And in the water I can imagine. That is one of mine concerns with the robe. I practiced wearing armor before and dare admit it is difficult. Especially on my hands or feet.

Chachanji Gegenji: "Well, hopefully I won't be in th' water itself much at all... th' inside'a th' sub's pretty dry 'n 'm hopin' th' undersea place is too..." He seems a bit less certain on that part. "W-well, 'm sure if'n it's wet there, Virara'll be able ta warn me a'forehand. Will need ta make sure ta ask 'er..." He taps at his chin before shaking his head and returning to the topic at hand. "Ah, yeah, gauntlets can kinda make more delicate finger movements more difficult... so tha' could def'nitely be-- Chachanji Gegenji: a pro'lem if'n ya need ta cast yer magicks 'n stuff..." Chachanji Gegenji: "But if'n it's jus' th' robe, it shouldn't hinder those movements too much. Yer arms might feel a bit heavier but if'n it's still light 'nuff fer ya, it could be somethin' ya jus' get used ta." He cants his head this way and that. "... It might not be a perfect match but... I thin' ya might be able ta try wearin' one'a me chainmail-lined yukata's like a shirt 'n see how tha' feels? Can use tha' ta figger out how much 'r how little chain ta put in th' robe?"

Jancis Milburga tilts her head curiously as she listens, nodding along, echoing his words with agreement. "Virara will." "Pretty dry." She frees one arm to show Chachanji her wraps as they are, sewn in with details and natural charms. "Verily. I do. Or healing work in the field. I have these in case I am disarmed I can still accomplish some conjury. Or if I need to carry someone." She comes closer and looks over the yukata. "Okay. I will try on whatever you like."

Chachanji Gegenji looks over the wraps with wide, surprised eyes. "Whoa. Ya can do stuff like tha' wit these?" He looks up at her with admiration even as she draws closer to look at his own outfit. He shoulders off the outer layer of his yukata and holds it up for her to see. Given his stocky frame - coupled with his further attempts to blur this fact with his clothing - Jancis could probably slip her arms through the sleeves pretty easily. They'd just end just past her elbows, and the coat itself would-- Chachanji Gegenji: --probably come down about her waist. Like he said: it's be like a shirt for her. Chachanji Gegenji || Should she take it, though, she'd note it was actually rather heavy. As if the jacket were sopping wet and pulled down with water weight. It would be hard to tell how many ponze of extra weight it actually had, but might make her wonder how he moves around so freely wearing it. Like some manner of secret, constant heavy armor training!

Jancis Milburga nods, "Yes. It is made of parts of wands. So not able to build as much energy at once, but enough to close wounds or defend myself up within touch." She murmurs, making a small orb of water in her palm then floats it away, showing the limited range as they get a mist of evaporating water showering down on them. She sets down her robe and reaches to take the yukata.

Chachanji Gegenji watches it with that selfsame awe as when she mentioned she could use the wraps to cast the spells. Having a demonstration just confirming how impressive it was to him. "Tha's really impressive, 'n sounds really handy."

Jancis Milburga smiles humbly, unaware of the color on her face. "You are kind to say so." She shifts, failing to heft the yukata first and clearly not ready for the actual weight of it. Still she brings it up to hold against her own shoulders in front and looks at it. Taking it over her tunic, she slides it on, needing some extra lift on the shoulders before getting his yukata on properly. Then she lifts her arms up, spanning out the sleeves. "Thaliak only knows how you move so well in this." Jancis Milburga: "You move as if wearing air. Forgive me, dear Chachanji, this is quite heavy. I would be able to wear this and carry nothing more."

Chachanji Gegenji: "A-ah, well, like I said... could def'nitely go wit somethin' lighter," he explained. "Tha's... um... jus' what I wear. More protection but, a'course, heavier. Ya... kinda get used to it. Honestly, feels weird when I dun have th' lined clothin' on these days." An awkward chuckle. "B-but anyroad, th' idea is ya'd hafta deal wit a bit more weight like tha' - but not nearly as much, a'course. And ya can still move yer hands 'n feet freely."

Jancis Milburga doesn't make a move to take it off, still giving the yellow fabric a thoughtful look on herself. "I see. I can imagine. It is surprising comforting to wear. Like a heavy blanket." She nods, focusing back on his words. "I worried you with a wound to mine torso. Perhaps not the arms, then? Or specifiic areas that are more vulnerable?"

Chachanji Gegenji nods. "Tha' can be done too!" he confirms with a smile. "Dun hafta line th' whole thin'. Could keep th' arms chain-free. Or even jus' th' torso so th' length'a robe below th' waist dun weigh ya down 'r trip ya up... like havin' a lil' chain shirt on at th' same time as th' robe."

Jancis Milburga finally takes off his yukata carefully, handing it back. Her robe has been mended and cleaned since the battle. Stitchwork shows the repairs, but within is a steady thick layer of padding that adds its own weight. Her wound would have been severely worse if not for the padding taking the brunt of the blow as she holds it up and open for inspection. "I also do not know what materials you want to use or what I should acquire." Jancis Milburga: "It comes through, what you mean by asking to do this for me, Chachanji. Much as I do not mean to worry anyone, I understand. It means a lot that you want to protect me."

Chachanji Gegenji: "Hm. Well, we'd want somethin' lightweight but decently strong..." he murmurs thoughtfully. "Titanium is th' material tha' jumps out at me first 'n foremost... buuuut..." He cants his head. "It's a bit pricier 'n not quite as protective but... somethin' like Mythril 'r - better - Mythrite could both protect ya 'n also mebbe help also boost yer magicks? Mythril 'n th' like are like th' softer metals tha' Goldsmiths user fer wands 'n stuff, after all." Chachanji Gegenji finally seems to realize she's still holding out the top of his yukata to him and takes it with a bashful smile and quick-and-quiet apology before putting it back on. Slipping it on as if it were as air, as she had alluded to earlier. And perhaps looking a bit more comfortable again with the familiar weight of it.

Jancis Milburga blinks with clear interest at his words. Somehow more than usual, "Would it be useful to you to work in soft metals as well? Like practice?" Jancis Milburga: "That does sound more ideal if it is something I can perhaps use my robe for, aiding in easing my own wounds, or even spreading over someone. A multiple use tool!"

Chachanji Gegenji: "Well, th' soft metals 'r def'nitely somethin' I dun work wit as much... 's more goldsmith territory 'n tha's th' part'a smithin' I always had a bit'a trouble wit," he admits, scratching at his floof. "Mythril 'n mythrite are light metals, but they ain't soft... so I can work wit them better'n tryin' ta makin somethin' outta silver 'r gold 'r somethin'. And since it's more like normal metals, it'll give better protection than th' soft metals would." A pause. "Though, I -could- fold in a thin-- Chachanji Gegenji: layer'a soft metal. Would make it a lil' less defensively sound but could also boost yer protection from bad magics. Th' Garleans gild some of their stuff wit gold to magic-proof it, y'know." Chachanji Gegenji: "I wouldn't go tha' heavy, though. Too much 'n it act'lly blocks magic use - which is why th' Garleans use it. No magic ta block so they can lay it on thick."

Jancis Milburga repeats 'light but not soft' and takes in the smith's words, her own look of awe at learning just a hint of what experience had given him to say. "Of course. I have seen other engineers keep it on hand for the magitek equipment that has been salvaged. Dare say having resistance to magic would be equally useful to me. Not so much less defensive as spreading out the capability? A lesser hit is better than full on for me. The wound I received that caused you concern was different." Jancis Milburga: "I was not in melee. Tiergan's mind got compromised by the beast we were fending off and it forced his sword to swing at me."

Chachanji Gegenji: "Mr. Tiergan?" His eyes go wide. The name was familiar, but it had been quite some time since he had encountered the white-haired Miqo'te in question. Still... "Oh man... hope he's akay too..." And there's a worried little frown. "A-anyroad. Given th' circumstances, 'm thinkin' a light layer'a mythrite chain around the torso in th' robe might work best fer ya. Decent protection, a bit'a aether protection, 'n might help bolster yer own aether a lil' when ya cast yer magicks." Chachanji Gegenji: "'n, a'course, if'n it ends up bein' too heavy 'r dampenin' yer magic more than helpin' it... can always take it back out."

Jancis Milburga lowers the robe, looking saddened, "He is well, but was very tough on himself after it happened. He made me a cake when I recovered. It was lovely. Vanilla and chocolate with fruit decorating the top." She nods and echoes his plan of action for her robe. Jancis Milburga: "Would you like me to leave this robe with you in the meantime while I gather supplies or take it with me for now?"

Chachanji Gegenji: "I prolly woulda been pretty upset if'n I had done th' same thin'," he admits. "Well, mebbe not th' cake part. Ya know 'm still not tha' good at cookin' yet." An awkward chuckle. "But... um... y'know what I mean." He scratches at his cheek, taking her segue back to the robe as an out rather willingly. "Oh, ah. Well, I can keep it here if'n ya'd like so ya have less ta carry 'round when ya have th' supplies. But if'n ya still might wanna wear it in th' meantime, ya can take it wit ya too." Chachanji Gegenji: "Would likely jus' be kept in me changin' room until ya got back. Oh! I have a proper changin' room now!" Chachanji Gegenji points off to where that curtained off area had been they had walked past on the way to the kitchen.

Jancis Milburga asks, "Changing room?" Just as he answers and she looks over. "If it will not be useful to you here, I will take it with me." Jancis Milburga peeks in. "This room is only for changing?"

Chachanji Gegenji: "Changin', gettin' measurements if'n needed..." He pauses. "Ah! Tha' might be somethin' I'd need th' robe fer. I dun thin' I've gotten yer measurements at any point..."

Jancis Milburga: "I did not think of that. We can do that whenever you wish." Jancis Milburga finds a place to set her robe. The stool. Best spot. Jancis Milburga opens the curtain and nearly walks into Chachanji, shuffling to a stop. "What must I do?"

Chachanji Gegenji: "Ah, well, we can do tha', sure," he agrees. "Tha's us'lly what we need if'n I'm makin' a full piece from scratch. But since I'll be linin' th' robe, it's not as important... though havin' th' measurements can make sure it all sits right 'n I can make some minor adjustments ta th' robe as well in th' process so it all hinders yer movement as lil' as possible."

Jancis Milburga smiles. "Thank you. Being made just for me. I am not sure how to express how happy I feel." She heads back into the changing room, leaving the curtain open. "This is almost like someone getting measured for a dress like in a book."

Chachanji Gegenji: "Which... given yer need ta move 'round fer spells 'n fer helpin' th' wounded... 's prolly a good idea," he admits quietly, rubbing at his chin. Before realizing Jancis has already gone back in to get said measurements. "Ah, w-well, 's fer th' same sorta purpose, right?" he admits as he follows and goes to grab his tape measure and something to write the numbers down on. "Needs ta make sure ev'rythin' fits right. Whether fer lookin' pretty or fer makin' sure yer armor protects ya properly 'n-- Chachanji Gegenji: --doesn't get in th' way!" Chachanji Gegenji: "Anyroad, le's get you all measured up 'n we'll be good ta go!"

Jancis Milburga smiles at you.

#ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv rp #rp logs #jancis #chachanji

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ancommbb · 4 years

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nutmeg trip report... using this post to document the experience

preground McCormick Gourmet organic ~18g

T-00:00 took me about ten minutes to get that shit down and wasn't completely successful. once I broke the seal of jar I immediately had that flashback to last time and how horrid the swallowing was. I have no idea how I did it last time with 25g (used almond chocolate "milk" but didn't combine - put the dry 'meg in my mouth by tbsp and chugged the drink as a chaser). this time I decided to put all the powder directly into the water. I didn't wanna use almondmilk or any milk again bc I thought that contributed to the stomachache I had gotten. SO it was so nasty I was using plain water as an extra chaser. had pukey feelings but mostly pushed them away until I was almost done and I gagged up a little bit of my breakfast. it wasn't like traditional puke but still gross. I decided to dump the rest of the cup. it was almost empty but I feel like more of the nutmeg sunk to the bottom so I'm unsure about my exact dosage... I started with about 21g so I'm hoping I consumed at least 18. I'm not in this just for a head high I'm really hoping to trip. I have nowhere to be all day today and tomorrow although i do wanna go for an easy walk at some point. I might have work on monday but might be off. I definitely hav tu-wed off so having monday off too would just tie everything together perfectly. I'd have time to recover and would return from vacation looking refreshed instead of zonked out. I did 'meg last month stupidly a day before work and well everyone knew I was on something it was horrible how blasted I looked. anywayvwaiting for my friend to send me the schedule. either way idc bc I have tomorrow off. still really wishing I was doing lsa or lsd instead of a deliriant bc they bring you closer to true consciousness instead of further away from it but i digress. will make the most out of this trip!

T-00:30 I felt slightly nauseous after dosing which usually blows but I'm happy and hoping that means i will feel the results despite not finishing my cup. I'm about to go smoke some bud and get my day going in another half hour. the only good thing about it taking 3-6 hrs to kick in is that now I have this momentum... idk if I'm describing it right (and it has nothing to do w the meg) but I'm anticipating having a chill afternoon-night so in the meantime I feel motivated to have a good morning. do "productive" stuff that isn't super productive but like meditation, taking a shower, going for a walk. then after all that and my weed-smoking time hopefully I'll feel something.

ps sorry for not enough line breaking and rambling but probably no one is reading this. this is why I'm on tumblr and not reddit bc nobody needs all my unnecessary details :P

T-01:20 having some subtle nausea and still have that nutmeg taste in the back of my mouth. tbh I already feel slightly slow in the brain but probably not anything substantial. everything is very subtle. feeling fine. and idc if I don't trip hard anymore just feeling like this is enough :)

T-03:25 was feeling nauseous earlier. felt laziness without lethargy. same thing happened last time. but when I do get up I feel energized and have that mdma feeling of rush throughout my body. finally ate lunch and the nausea went away slightly. I'm still burping up that gross spicy nutmeg taste, though it's not bad. I didn't do my shower and other semi productive stuff yet bc I was being lazy but now I'm getting up to meet up with my boyfriend for a walk. I feel quicker in my wits this time... no slow thinking yet. I actually feel pretty sharp. my next update will probably be after my next toke sesh so we'll see what happens after that.

T-09:30 yeah this shit wore off hours ago. I mean there's a subtle on/off feeling like there is with mdma so maybe if i get up from this couch I'll get another rush of it. maybe I'll smoke the last of my bud. I definitely felt off earlier though, in a good way. I just wish the sensations were stronger. it was like a functional form of drunkeness. I was able to form thoughts better and conversate better than I do sober. I felt more introspective yet more considerate of the whole picture on things, not just my own POV. ohhh and listening to music (+ driving) felt fucking godly. it's something I already love to do sober but the euphoria intensified it sooo much. I put on ariana grande and a dreamy sounding song bc I knew her voice and the vibes would feel heavenly. (ik I probably shouldn't have driven esp at the peak but I really needed my work schedule. I was definitely functional enough.) maybe it'll be like last time and I'll wake up tomorrow feeling zonked or feeling euphoric like I did today. that would be ideal but for now I'm gonna say this trip is over.

#personal #drugs #nutmeg #trip report

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chubbyooo · 5 years

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Blurred Lines: Cursed Past Chapter 42 - The Second Trial

Hey guys sorry for the extended break I got a bit of writers block but i finally got the idea clear in my head so we’re back to Kavaraa. As a side note you may have noticed I’ve been doing more side story stuff, those are just fun practice they’re not key to the story usually just a bit extra fun but it may mean BL updates are slightly less frequent (word of the day Cachunk)

Kavaraa and the gang find the second trial of their pilgrimage

Kavaraa fidgeted as she held her hands in front of the portable heater, she’d made sure to get the best one possible and it was certainly paying off right now Ilum was colder than she remembered. She saw Theron doing his best with that flamethrower of his it was taking some time but they seemed like they were getting somewhere with it, she could see what looked like an open chamber through the ice now. She’d didn’t like all this waiting around it gave her too much thinking time, she kept going back in circles about everything that happened. She hoped the alliance was doing ok without her she just needed some time away from it all, Lana could handle it all right? she helped everyone be a little less crazy. It was still all so confusing, it didn’t help this planet was the perfect example to bring back those memories. Malgus back, even thinking it made her stomach turn but was the alliance planning on working with him that seemed like a bad idea, she hoped they knew what they were doing still it would’ve been nice to have been consulted about it. Her mind shifted back to Kyradia, Kavaraa didn’t know wether to feel bad about it all, she didn’t say anything wrong right but to be fair she could be quite rash about sith tactics and they’d won against Valkorion she may need to be more trusting. Kavaraa sighed, she couldn’t condone Kyradia’s recent methods though no matter what, she hoped Kyradia felt bad but Kavaraa somehow doubted that. She could at least try to see if she’s ok right there was nothing wrong with that she had the time anyway and it’s not like she was being intrusive shewas just checking up. Kavaraa took a deep breath and reached out with the force trying to focus on Kyradia she felt her vision shift far across the galaxy somewhere in the outer rim what was she doing there? she could sense Kyradia’s presence weirdly quiet but then she felt that presence clouded with an immense dark energy it felt potent and dangerous. Kavaraa jumped back startled focussing back on Ilum she took a few deep breaths oh Kyradia what have you gotten yourself into now.

She looked to see Theron making his way back down the tunnel how long had she been focussing for, she put the thoughts to the back of her mind one thing at a time. Theron looked very tired and seemed to be dragging his left arm, holding the flame thing up that long must have been rough.

Theron folded his arms “alright we’re through to some kind of chamber can i rest now” Kavaraa nodded standing up giving him a thank you peck on the cheek and quickly scurrying down the chamber however with the melted ice she quickly lost her balance slamming down on her back with a thud.

Kavaraa winced as her back recoiled with pain “owwwww” she saw Theron stand over her trying to hold back a grin

he raised his eyebrow holding his hand out “yeah running on an ice floor with recently melted ice not your smartest plan ever” Kavaraa screwed her face up sulking as Theron helped her up. Kormel was standing behind him with a small smile at least she’d managed to make Kormel smile that was rare. Kavaraa turned around this time optioning to walk slower as they proceeded through the makeshift tunnel, soon they reached a small open chamber with what seemed like a marble door.

Kavaraa chuckled “I think we’ve found it” Theron gestured to the map they were right on the coordinates they were doing so good.

Theron walked up to the door “I would advise we don’t take too long here, that ice has a chance of closing back up and I don’t have enough fuel left in this thing to do that twice” Kavaraa nodded sure she could do quick, she went up to the door trying to open it but it wouldn’t budge there was no handle and as much as she tugged the door wouldn’t move. Theron frowned “you have a lightsaber right?” that seemed a little like cheating

Kavaraa continued trying to open the door to no avail “That’d kinda be disrespectful to the temple creators don’t ya think” Theron sighed gesturing to the tunnel “ugh fine” Kavaraa ignited her saber cutting the door off it’s hinges hopefully so it could be put back later. She focussed with the force putting the door to the side, she could put it back later she then gestured to Theron and Kormel to follow.

They made their way down the marble stairs, Kavaraa couldn’t help but notice this temple was far better made than the last one she wondered if a lot less people would find the second temple. Without the map they had she could imagine people giving up on the temple hidden in an ice mountain, those were probably just treasure hunters who got lucky anyway she was a Jedi well sort of. At the end of the stairs was a large room with holocrons lining the walls, at the end of the chamber was another door looking a little stronger this time. She could see alcoves in the wall either side of the door with some writing underneath, they moved into the room Kormel immediately going to study the door while she perused the holocrons. She focussed on one that and in response she heard a name spoken “Zez-Kai Ell” she frowned had she heard that name somewhere before? she moved to the next one “Jelph Marrian” each one she checked had a name. She moved to the other side opting to see if the trend continued the first one she checked the name “Voren” moving to the next the name “Bandon” she knew that one Darth Bandon apprentice of Malak.

What were these names for? there was still the alcoves and the writing, she could see Theron looking at the room with confusion “I’m not even gonna try to understand what’s going on in here” Kavaraa smiled “call me when you need practical assistance”

She put a hand on his shoulder “that’s probably for the best I think it’s Jedi and sith history” Theron sighed sitting down he deserved a rest after helping them get here. This had to be some sort of puzzle right like the last temple maybe Kormel had found something out, she made her way over to him as he was reading the writing underneath the alcoves. Kavaraa bent down next to him “any ideas Kormel” Kormel seemed to break out of a daze turning to her a little suprised

Kormel smiled “I’m not sure yet but this says ‘Status’ in an old jedi language” Kavaraa nodded status huh well a darth is a status right what about the other side though

Kavaraa frowned “Kormel have you heard of Zez-Kai Ell” Kormel looked surprised to hear the name

he nodded “uh yes he was a jedi master during the mandalorian wars he was one of the masters who banished the Jedi Exile Meetra Surik” Kavaraa definitely recognised that he was a jedi master huh well that was status too.

Kavaraa was onto something “so the holocrons on the wall are names of jedi and sith so if we place the masters and darths maybe we can open the door” Kormel nodded clearly processing the information

Kormels face lit up “yeah that makes sense and I’ll uh try my best to know who everyone is” Kavaraa beamed back man they were puzzle masters

After about 30 minutes of working out who was who and who actually had ‘status’ they placed the holocrons in the alcoves and were pleased to hear a cachunk as the door began to open.

Kavaraa fist bumped the air “yesssss nice one Kormel” Kormel was smiling too, he certainly was a quiet induvidual but in this environment he really shone.

Theron came over looking a little more rested “so I don’t need to hear about the ranking system of force users anymore” Kavaraa chuckled looking at the chart they had made to classify them. Kavaraa nodded gesturing for them to follow, these trials were definitely helping them prove themselves this must be a knowledge trial if the last one was about problem solving she wondered what the other ones were gonna be about.

They came to the end of the second set of stairs into a large open chamber with large marble statues, she could see a similar door at the end this time with a horizontal alcove. Kormel as expected shot over to the door leaving her to examine the statues again, there were four statues each of a scene. Upon first examination she noted each statue had a holocron in an alcove, she could see Revan fighting Mandalore, what looked like the destruction of Telos (which time was unclear), what looked like the reclaiming of Korriban but most notably a group of individuals fighting Kavaraa could see three sith purebloods, a zabrak, a twi’lek and a familiar face. Malgus again admittedly without his respirator damn she could just not escape him today, these were clearly historical scenes maybe the group represented the great galactic war.

Kavaraa made her way over to Kormel who was studying the writing again “what does it say this time” Kavaraa had a hunch it’d be a timeline

Kormel didn’t turn around “it says order” Kavaraa silently celebrated behind Kormel

Kavaraa grinned “alright I got this one we need to put the holocrons in the statues in order” Kormel considered it seemingly agreeing. They quickly got to work ordering the holocrons, in the process Kavaraa determined it was the second destruction of telos but also when examining the great galactic war statue she swore she recognised something about the purebloods but the statue wasn’t amazing so could just be a coincidence. Soon they had them all in order and the door cachunked open, Kavaraa smiled this hadn’t been so bad maybe they could be worthy. They headed down the stairs reaching a similar room to the last temple with a single holocron sitting in the middle.

Kavaraa turned to the others “ok we know what’s up this time don’t freak out and we will have the next clue” they both nodded. Kavaraa was excited they may actually find out where these secrets were...

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byuneebuns · 6 years

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Fenced In (Part 13)

Chanyeol/Baekhyun x Reader College AU

Rated: M for Smut

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Slow Burn, College AU

Author’s Note: The people have spoken! I know its really short but I am so busy and I’ve had some writer’s block and the next update is gonna be longer I promise!!! ;A; Also I love this gif just saying. Ok bye~~

Fenced In Mini Masterlist

Deja vu coursed through your veins like electricity, keeping you from feeling at ease as you sat opposite your best friend. It was the same diner as the other day, the same table, the same rhythmic tapping of her nails, the same low hum of chatter. Different sinking feeling in your stomach.

The clicking of Hani’s nails stopped abruptly, its absence extracting you from your dazed thoughts.

“So, did you fuck him?”

You choked on your water, sputtering pathetically from being caught off guard.

“N-no, Hani, I didn’t fuck him,” You gasped, trying to regain your composure, “We just slept in the same bed and he....” You trailed off, fiddling with your fork instead of meeting Hani’s eyes.

“He what?”

You glanced up at her, relieved to find that she was smiling. Hani was always easy to talk to because you could tell she was never judging you for anything. She was always honest with you and told you what you needed to hear exactly as gently or firmly as you needed to hear it, and always without judgment.

“He...told me that he likes me.” You mumbled sheepishly, your eyes returning to your hands twisting the fork in them.

“And? How do you feel about all of that?” She asked, her tone remaining politely interested as she poured syrup on her pancakes.

“Happy. I’ve liked him for a long time too. I’m just very...overwhelmed, I think.” Hani chewed her pancakes slowly, tapping her chin with her pointer finger.

“Yeah, well, he probably could have waited for a better time but I can see why he’d want to get it off his chest sooner rather than later. Especially if he’s liked you for awhile and he’s had to watch you with another guy.” She said matter-of-factly, nodding to herself.

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just a lot to take in for a twelve hour time period I guess.”

“Understandably. Are you going to give it a chance now that you know how he feels?”

You nodded, smiling.

“Yeah...I think so. We’ve reached a point where we obviously aren’t going to be able to live normally as roommates anymore. If it doesn’t work out between us I’ll just have to deal with it then.”

Hani smiled back, her eyes sparkling.

“I like that idea. You deserve to be able to see where things go. This might be kind of a sore subject, but have you talked to Baekhyun at all?”

You frowned, stabbing at your eggs with a little more vigor than necessary.

“No. Chanyeol mentioned he came by the apartment, but I was already asleep.”

“I guess he made it there after all. You know he walked?”

You gaped at your friend while she recounted the events of her evening after you left, purposefully leaving out the details of what Baekhyun had said about you. It just didn’t feel right to talk about someone else’s feelings in their absence. They weren’t exactly friends and she wasn’t sure if she really supported him being involved with you anyways. You had the right to know how he felt, but you should get to hear it from him, not what he had been overhead telling his friend when he was drunk.

“He wasn’t there this morning when I left. Jongdae said he wasn’t worried but he was acting like he was, calling a bunch of people and asking if they’d seen him since Baekhyun’s phone was dead.”

She waved her hands frantically when she saw your eyebrows knit together, your lips tugging into a frown.

“I’m not telling you because I want you to feel bad, so don’t feel bad. You deserve to know though. Do you want me to ask Jongdae if he found him yet?”

“Please.” You whispered, still keeping your eyes firmly on your plate.

Hadn’t it rained last night? He walked that far? Drunk and alone along main roads? Never came home....

“What kind of moron....” You muttered darkly, trying desperately to keep yourself from panicking.

“Hey Dae, you ever find your stupid roommate? Oh? Well, I guess that’s better than the alternative. Yeah, no problem. Sure. See you.”

She set the phone down on the table and met your anxious, expectant stare with her own calm one.

“He came back not long after I left. Apparently he didn’t say a single word to anyone, just walked straight to his room and locked the door behind him.”

“How did he get home?” Hani shrugged, shaking her head.

“Jongdae didn’t say. Are you going to talk to him if he tries again?”

“...No. I don’t have anything to say, and I don’t really want to hear excuses when its obvious enough that he just wanted to get in my pants. Which, you know, I would have been okay with if he had just told me that from the beginning.”

Hani pressed her lips together, forcing herself to remain quiet. She felt a little bad for Baekhyun and guilty for not being completely honest but at the same time...

“Well, he really did it to himself.”

Sometimes people need to learn their lessons the hard way.

***

The few weeks that had passed since the party felt like months and to your relief winter break was right around the corner. Seeing Baekhyun in class was...awkward. The first day you’d seen each other he had acted very differently than you’d expected, and it left you with a feeling of unease that soon became your constant companion in that classroom.

You’d arrived first, taken your normal seat, and were trying to ignore the pounding of your heart as you saw Baekhyun enter from the corner of your eye. You braced yourself for him to sit with you and start talking, refusing to look at him, but you were left bracing yourself for nothing after several minutes passed and the seats on either side of you remained empty.

Against your better judgment you found yourself scanning the room, spotting him several rows back. Your eyes met and you hurriedly faced forward again, grateful for the start of the lecture as a distraction. You packed up your belongings early so that as soon as class was dismissed you could make your escape. He never chased you. Not even once, even though deep down you really wished that he would.

You found yourself having to stop yourself from approaching him instead, your emotions caught between intense heartache and rage. What kind of person walks to someone’s house in the rain to talk to them and just gives up afterwards? The only conclusion you could draw was that he was just drunk and probably regretted it in the morning when he remembered that he didn’t care about you after all.

Every time you saw him the wound on your heart and ego felt fresh again. The passing of time and Chanyeol’s renewed presence in your life was healing you, but every time you saw Baekhyun it was like the scab was torn off, a step back for each step forward.

‘Its only one semester, then I never have to see him again’ had become your mantra.

You weren’t immune to the irony of your having tried to use him to as a distraction for your feelings only to have him awaken even more unpleasant ones instead.

***

“Hey, welcome back.”

Chanyeol’s arms secured themselves in their favorite spot, around your waist, as he pulled you into his chest for a rib-bruising hug.

“Yeollie, I haven’t even gotten inside yet.” You whined, struggling to remove your shoes as the giant held you tightly.

“Don’t care. I missed you.”

You giggled, finally letting your arms circle his waist in return, breathing in his scent as you let yourself be enveloped in him.

“Its only been a few hours you big dork. You don’t have work tonight?”

“Nope. You have me all to yourself.”

Without warning he was sweeping you off of your feet and cradling you gently in his arms as he carried you away, peppering your forehead and cheeks with soft kisses.

You giggled, intoxicated with giddiness, as he set you down on the couch, taking his place next to you and draping your legs over his, his arms still circling you and practically holding you in his lap.

“I can’t believe winter break is already here. Are you sure you don’t want to go spend it with your family?”

You were pressed so closely to him that you could feel his deep voice vibrating through you.

“Hmm, well, its just that I kind of adopted this giant puppy awhile back and I have to stay home and take care of him. He can’t even remember to turn the oven off when he’s done with it so I’d hate to leave him alone for a whole week.” “That was one time!”

You giggled shamelessly as Chanyeol desperately tried to clear his name of your accusations. Growing tired of you not taking him seriously he shoved your legs off of him and stood. You frowned, momentarily confused by his actions and worried you had actually offended him until he climbed on top of you on the cramped couch, his limbs trapping you where you lay.

Your heart started pounding as you stared up at him looming over you, his face more serious than you were used to.

“So, you think I’m just a helpless little puppy?”

“No, Yeollie, that’s not what I-”

“Do you need me to show you just how wrong you are about me?” He whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

Your breath caught in your throat, escaping in the form of a strangled gasp as blood flooded your cheeks and your core. The way he was looking at you was downright sinful.

You’d been playing house since he confessed to you, eating meals together, cuddling in bed together at night, kissing each other hello and goodbye, but nothing had actually happened between you beyond that.

The darkness that was in Chanyeol’s eyes vanished as unexpectedly as it had appeared and his brows furrowed with regret.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t hav-”

Before he could utter another word you were draping your arms around his neck and pulling him on top of you, locking your lips with his in a messy, desperate kiss. He pulled back, breathing heavily, his eyes searching your face with bewilderment.

“Chanyeol, I want you to show me.”

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welllpthisishappening · 6 years

Note

I feel like I should tell you that second last bullet point about PK and Matt made me cry immediately wow the emotions Laura

Hellooooooo anon. I AM HERE TO FORCE MY HOCKEY DOG EMOTIONS ON YOU, IN A WAY THAT SOUNDS FAR LESS THREATENING THAN THAT. Here are some more emotions that got decidedly more emotional as I wrote them.

Age update because there are words here: Matt just got drafted. So he’s almost 21, Peggy is 17 closing in on 18 and Chris is 11. This is a few months after Getting in the Shooting Lanes and goes along with this post about the dog Will and Belle adopt. His name is PK. That story is here.

I’ve got no excuse for this except how often Tyler Seguin posts about his dogs. Also, like, how much I want Chris Jones to be certain his older brother is the best player in the entire NHL ever. Alright, let’s get emotional:

“So, uh, Mom, you think you’re ever going to stop crying, or, like…what’s the deal?”

Emma glanced down, narrowing her eyes slightly at the smiling kid in front of her – decked in head to toe Rangers team apparel and that was actually pretty impressive because she could not begin to fathom where he got shoes with the appropriate color scheme.

Chris smiled, rocking back on the heels of those same shoes and he spent far too much time wth far too many professional athletes. It was doing wonders for his self-confidence. And, now, there was one more professional athlete to contend with.

Emma was never going to stop crying.

“That’s not an answer, you know,” Chris pointed out, hooking his thumb through the loop in his jeans and most of them had changed at some point between landing at JFK and finding their way back uptown and none of them had really slept. They were a whirlwind of brand-new jerseys that looked oddly familiar because they still said Jones above the number twenty and that was, at least, seventy-six percent of the reason Emma couldn’t stop crying, and there were FaceTime calls to be made and Roland Locksley actually screaming in Philadelphia and Elsa nearly sobbing in Colorado and they should all probably eat something.

Emma couldn’t remember the last time they ate something.

“You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are, kid,” Emma muttered, tugging on the front of Chris’ shirt. He did something ridiculous with his eyebrows.

“And you’re going to set a record for crying in a single day.”

Emma inhaled, something potentially maternal and possibly a bit like grounding on the tip of her tongue, but the eleven-year-old in front of her had grown up far too much in the last few weeks, ankle a normal size again, and he’d spent most of those same few weeks reading any draft information he could find.

He regularly printed out reports that Matt was going to go anywhere except second overall to the Rangers, just so he could crumple them up and dramatically throw them into the corner of the room. Killian found a small mountain of them a few days ago. He made Chris take them out.

And then discussed draft options with Chris for several hours after.

Emma scowled when her kid didn’t stop smirking at her, lips twisted and eyebrows still just as high. She inhaled again, another quick pull of air through her teeth as several voices came from the kitchen.

“Yeah, that’s probably true,” she admitted, and Chris didn’t argue when she pulled him against her side, lips on the top of his hair and the very likely misplaced effort to keep him eleven for the rest of his life.

She was crying again.

“Although Aunt Elsa may give you a run for your money,” Chris added.

“That was just because she saw Dad crying.”

“Dad cried?”

“Oh definitely.”

Chris was silent for a moment, and for half a second Emma felt something dangerously close to terror slink down her spine, a cold rush of worry that landed in the pit of her stomach with an almost audible thump. She swallowed, licking her lips and willing her pulse to stay relatively human. It had been through enough already in the last twenty-four hours.

And she absolutely, positively was not prepared for the sniffle she heard.

Emma twisted on this spot, nearly losing her balance in the process, but Chris’ teeth were digging into his lower lip and he looked a little wobbly himself, eyes squeezed closed and shoulders shifting and—

“Kid,” Emma snapped, crouching in front of him and that was a mistake because he towered over her now. “Hey, hey, hey, what’s the matter? Is this a hunger thing?”

“I’m not an actual baby anymore, Mom, I’m not crying because I’m hungry.”

“Then…”

Chris clicked his tongue, exhaling with a put-upon sound that made him look far older than Emma ever wanted. That felt selfish. But one kid had already gotten drafted that night and the other was getting ready for college and she really had no idea why they’d agreed to come back to Will and Belle’s apartment.

Maybe they had food.

She couldn’t remember if they had food home. Probably not. They’d been far too preoccupied with draft stock and a whole week of prep in Chicago and picking out color-coordinated ties.

“He’s totally going to wreck in the league,” Chris mumbled, eyes still closed, but pointed towards his feet anyway and Emma’s heart could not cope with this. Her whole being could not cope with this. “Just like…he’s probably going to set some kind of rookie scoring record.”

“I think they may have him play in the AHL for awhile.”

“Yeah, right. You’ve seen how fast Matt is, right? We’re desperate for that kind of speed.”

“We?”

Chris’ eyes all but flew open – probably so they could get them as wide as humanly possible when he realized what he said. “Ah, that’s how it works or something, right? Even without my own speed.”

Emma swallowed, not sure she could actually voice the myriad of increasingly sentimental nonsense sitting in the back of her throat and she nearly fell over when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Matt was still wearing the jersey they’d made him put on when they called his name, but there was an actual name on the back now and he smiled at his brother when he met his gaze.

“Keep using the collective pronoun, C,” Matt said. “But Mom may be right about the AHL. We’ll see how camp goes.”

Chris rolled his eyes. They were getting as good a workout as Emma’s pulse. “Are you serious?” he scoffed, and there were more footsteps and she didn’t even have to look up when Killian moved next to her.

“That’s usually how it works, kid,” Killian reasoned.

“You didn’t play in the AHL.”

“Ah, well, he’s got you on that one,” Emma muttered, glancing up and Killian’s smirk was a bit more fine-tuned than either one of their kids. They’d get there. Probably. They were all far too competitive not to.

“If this is about MD playing in the Garden on opening night, then I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Peggy shouted from the kitchen. She was probably sitting on the counter. Emma was almost surprised there was a plaque there, designating it as Margaret Elsa Jones’ space and solely for Margaret Elsa Jones.

Matt clicked his tongue. “Wow, that’s actually kind of rough, Mar.”

“And not true,” Chris added. “You seen our centermen? Their face-off percentage is the worst.”

“I mean not the worst,” Killian shrugged. “It got better last season.”

“Dad. It’s not good. It’s not totally your fault, you’re not a centermen. But I bet Matt could help out.”

“Wow, thanks for that incredible vote of confidence, C,” Matt mumbled, the smile still on his face when he tugged Chris towards him. “Although he’s right about that face-off percentage, Dad. Embarrassing.”

Killian groaned, holding out a hand for Emma and she didn’t quite stumble into his side, but it was awfully close and she’d blame the whole thing on dehydration via crying. So, naturally, there was something else to cry about immediately.

And maybe the real reason they’d come back to Will and Belle’s apartment.

Matt made a noise that somewhere closer to a yelp of excitement than anything else, Peggy all but leaping out of the kitchen and sprinting towards the living room, somehow sliding into both of her brothers when her socks proved unable to provide any traffic on the hardwood floor.

“Ah, of course,” Killian mumbled, mostly into Emma’s hair when his mouth landed there and her vision was already starting to swim in front of her eyes.

And, really, she should have known from the very beginning because, really, they’d been with that dog from the very beginning and Emma was almost surprised Roland didn’t demand to be put on this FaceTime phone call too. He and Matt regularly argued over who was PK’s favorite.

It might have been Chris.

“It’s definitely Chris,” Killian muttered. He winked when Emma gaped at him.

“God, you’re the only reason Chris thinks he’s as funny as he’s absolutely not. Why are you a mindreader?”

“You’re not very good at disguising your emotions when you’re weeping them out, love.”

“Oh, shut up. You could use some eye drops too.”

He didn’t quite blush, but the tips of his ears went read, eyebrows twisted and another kiss pressed to her temple. “I wouldn’t say no, honestly.”

“You guys are missing this moment,” Will announced, perched on the arm of his couch with his fingers wrapped around Belle’s shoulder and Matt was kneeling on the floor in the first Rangers jersey that was his, making faces at a dog that had been as much a part of his childhood as anything.

Emma was seriously never going to stop crying.

“Make sure you get the good angles,” Belle laughed, and Chris hummed in response, a phone in his hand and a smile on his face. “That way we get all the likes.”

“Ah, we’re going to get all the likes, aren’t we?” Matt asked, an absurd twist of facial expressions at a dog who was drifting very close to ancient, but still managed to get down the hallway when he realized the Jones Line had come to visit.

“This is honestly the best part of the weekend,” Peggy announced. “Way better than those facts we learned about Chicago.”

Kilian groaned. “You appreciated those facts. You had no idea the world’s first skyscraper was built in Chicago.”

“Somehow I feel like I’d have gotten by without this information.”

“But now you know and you can brag about it.”

“When would that ever come up?”

“Make it happen, Margaret.”

“Oh my God.”

Emma laughed, burrowing her head into Killian’s chest and that was a mistake because Belle mentioned angles again and Matt was still making faces when she looked up, mumbling a string of barely understandable words to a dog who absolutely could not hear him.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Matt laughed. He was on his stomach now, sprawled out across the floor without a single care to what it was doing to his jersey. “Listen, PK, listen, listen, I’ve got exciting news, man.”

PK barked in response.

“Yeah, that’s right. Listen, hey, remember when we were kids and we made Rol practice that one wrist shot and then you showed up and made sure we could get the puck back? Well, it totally worked, PK because I got drafted.”

Another bark.

And several sniffles.

A world record for crying. Right there in Belle and Will’s apartment.

“He’s going to get called up by Thanksgiving,” Chris announced, eyes flashing back to Emma and Killian like either of them would be wiling to contradict him. “I’ll bet you guys Matt’s signing bonus.”

“No deal,” Matt grinned. He hadn’t gotten off the floor yet, but no one told him to move and Chris handed Emma the phone so she could actually hit upload when all three Jones kids moved to brush their fingers over PK’s back.

“Thanksgiving,” Chris repeated. “At the latest.”

The video got an absolutely ridiculous amount of hits, Roland leaving several caps lock comments about MISSING OUT and, three days before Thanksgiving, with the Rangers playing in Vancouver, Emma’s phone rang – “Mom,” Matt said, and she could hear the giddy sound his voice, the way it managed to crack on three letters and one word and all that meaning. She sat down.

They almost missed puck drop, calling in every favor from every single person they knew and Graham met them at the airport, ignoring several laws on both sides of the border to get them there on time and Emma cried again.

So did Killian. So did Peggy. It made the phone in her hand shake.

Chris didn’t. He smiled.

“Told you.”

#cs ff #captain swan #laura rambles #blue line rambles #blue line one shots #WOW HERE ARE SOME EMOTIONS ANON #can you tell how much i want a dog #this family is so stupid #they all love each other so much

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dtownsuga · 6 years

Text

white gown

doctor! yoongi x doctor! y/n

genre; a touch of everything, from cheesy fluff, hopefully not so major angst, eventual smut

warning; mention of suicide

Read ch. iii.

Five years ago, you met him in a funeral. Three years later, you met him in a waiting room. One year ago, you met him in a drug store. Today, you meet him in the emergency room, with the same eyes you remembered, five years ago.

—

ch. iv.

“You look dead, doctor,” Jungkook said behind the nurse desk. You were doing your round with him when you stopped by to fill in the required medication for the patients on that floor.

“I am dead, Jeon Jungkook. I am dead.”

——

“Yes. I am the daughter of Park Sejun, but no. I never knew why he jumped off a building.”

And the name Min Kyungwoo didn’t ring anything.

“Such a coincidence, wasn’t it? You are transferred here, the place where your father once worked. Out of all other main branches in Seoul.”

“What are you aiming at, doctor?” you put down your cup, focusing on the conversation now.

“I’m telling you the reason why your father had decided to do what he did, Dr. Park. They never told you, didn’t they? It’s because, your father, Park Sejun, had failed the surgery of, Min Kyungwoo, and if the name still doesn’t sound like anything to you. He is my father.”

“Don’t lie to me, doctor. I have had enough lie in my life to know one.”

“It’s up to you, you know. Whether you’re believing this or not.”

“So, what if it’s true? What if my father really did that?”

“Then, I can assure you, you wouldn’t have to see me around the hospital anymore. Because I don’t want to be seen hanging around with the daughter of a murderer.”

You could feel your blood boiling, but only showed it when he called your father a murderer.

Someone you just know called your father a murderer.

“Listen, doctor. I have full respect for you. I have only known you for three days. And you are already calling my father a murderer? I don’t even know if we are talking about the same Park Sejun. And let’s say if it’s true, where the hell did you get all of this information from? I’m sorry doctor, but this is too much for an introduction. Excuse me.”

You left him alone in the coffee shop, heading back to the hospital and drove back to your apartment.

——

“Jungkook.”

“Yes?

“Does the name Min Kyungwoo sound like anything to you?”

“Hmmm, let’s see. Nope.”

“I see. Thank you.”

“Why is it, doctor?”

“I just, I just didn’t have a good evening yesterday.”

“Pity you.”

“Yes, pity me. Anyway, let’s go and see Taehyung.”

You see Yoongi walking in the hospital when you walked to the VIP ward with Jungkook.

“Is it Dr. Min?” he asked.

“Yah. It’s Dr. Min.” you sighed.

The walk to the VIP ward always make you tired, why should it be so far away.

“You’re doing okay, Taehyung?”

“Yes, other than nausea, I’m doing just fine.” You loved how this young man was so different from his stepbrother even though you had just met him twice.

“Doctor, is there perhaps a chance for me to go out today?” he asked you when you were filling in his usual therapy form.

You read in the form provided by Dr. Kim before that Taehyung has a special “privilege” to go out and sit in the park for 30 minutes once every month.

You checked the weather, and it wasn’t at its best as it was going to rain and the temperature had gone lower. You didn’t know how to decline his request, but you need to.

“I’m sorry, Taehyung. The weather outside was not-“

“It’s okay. You don’t need to continue, Dr. Park.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s the weather’s fault, not yours, why are you saying sorry?”

You continued filling in the form, giving Jungkook instruction from time to time. “You know, doctor?” Both of your attention was shifted to Taehyung when he spoke. You don’t know why, but every time he spoke, he sounded like he’s crying. Every time he spoke, your heart broke a little.

“Instead of a VIP ward patient, I feel like I’m an outcast. The hallway’s always quiet here, it’s funny how it scared me sometimes.” his smile in the end only made those words sadder.

“Doctor, I’m sorry I’m very demanding today. Perhaps, if you see a doctor with the name Min Yoongi, he’s in the neurology department, could you please ask him to stop by?”

“I will, Taehyung.”

“Thank you.”

Jungkook and you left him, alone, again, in the room.

“Do you know why Dr. Min has never come and visited him?”

“No idea. When Dr. Kim was around, he always asked for Dr. Min, too. But he never came.”

“I guess I need to talk to him then.”

Days passed and you met Min Yoongi almost every day. But, never had you even once approached him to talk. That conversation in the coffee shop still haunted you. Taehyung didn’t ask for him either, probably knowing from the start he wouldn’t come.

Weeks passed as usual. Visits become normal and you started to know your patients; Taehyung included. You started to somehow understand him, more and more, day by day. Learning that he’s actually pretty talkative, but on some random days, he just didn’t want to talk at all. Learning how he tried to study Japanese from a TV show. Learning that he has such an amazing drawing skill.

You are done with your round trip in the usual ward early that day, which mean you get to visit Taehyung earlier too. Visiting him is like meeting a friend for you now.

“How are you, Taehyung?” He was sitting on the side of his bed.

“Ah, doctor. You come early today.”

“I finished my round trip fast, so here I am.”

“Doctor, do you think I can go outside today?”

The weather was good, and Taehyung’s condition seemed to be stable. When you smiled and spoke out a small “yes” you swore to God that his curled lips shaped the most genuine smile you’ve ever seen.

“I’m happy for you, Tae.” Jungkook said at the back.

“Jungkook, can you please bring the wheelchair?”

“Actually doctor, can I walk?”

“Yes, of course. If you want to. Then, I’ll leave Jungkook with you, okay?”

Taehyung seemed hesitant for a while before he replied to your question.

“Can we go together, the three of us, doctor? If you have time after this?” he said, trying to get up from the bed. You could see his legs shaking probably from the lack of movement.

“I do, but can you wait for me? I need to inform the pharmacy about the medication for the children ward.”

“Of course. I’ll wait here.”

“Jungkook, you stay here. I’ll be back soon.”

“Got it.”

You don’t know why, but you probably were more excited than Taehyung himself. You knew how he yearned to see more of the outside world, but have very little chances to. Giggling to yourself, you ran to the main ward.

“Dr. Park.” a voice stopped you when you were about to walk into the pharmacy. A voice you haven’t heard for a while. You turned your head and you were right. Min Yoongi.

“I thought you wouldn’t talk to a murderer’s daughter?”

“I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have just accused you.”

“Let’s just pretend that it never happened.” Without saying anything else, you walked into the building. But a hand held yours, stopping you from going.

“I haven’t done talking.”

“But I hav-“

The phone inside your pocket vibrated. You remembered only giving your phone number to the nurses and Jungkook so they can call you if anything happened.

Third year-Jeon Jungkook

You heard several heavy breathings before Jungkook replied to your hello.

“Doctor-“ Jungkook choked himself, he sounded like he was running.

“Calm down, Jeon Jungkook. Tell me what happened.”

“He fainted.”

“Taehyung suddenly clutched his chest and fell to the floor.”

It seems there will be no outside for you again, today, Taehyung.

—

Hello everyonee! Here’s an update of white gown🤧💕 Next part, there’ll be a major turning point🌝 I hope you guys are enjoying this, see you on the next chapter💕💞

i write sometimes;

#bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts angst #bts fluff #bts #bts yoongi #bts jungkook #bts taehyung #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #yoongi angst #taehyung angst #jungkook angst #bts doctor au #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader

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