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homeformyheart · 3 years

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hopeless - m!raleigh carrera x mc (plat)

author’s note: i’m not sure if this fits into the same universe my other platinum fics take place in but i had fun with it. i hope you enjoy!

copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. songs and lyrics owned by their respective creators. series/pairing: platinum – m!raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian); red carpet diaries cross-over – matt rodriguez x cadence dorian rating/warnings: 14+; swearing, descriptions of drinking, minor angst word count: 2.6k based on/prompt: “all you had to do was stay” by taylor swift / “secret love song pt ii” by little mix summary: news of cadence’s engagement makes raleigh and cadence revisit the way they left things.

hopeless

when cadence flew out to los angeles to secretly film music videos for her entire album, the last thing she expected was that she would get engaged. but here she was, in as private of a spot as one could find in the city of stars, with the matt rodriguez in front of her on one knee with a beautiful vintage-inspired octagonal diamond ring. no one was around except for a private photographer he hired so that they could control what made it to the press.

“cadence dorian, will you marry me?”

she knew what her answer should be. after all, her and raleigh had officially called it quits eight months ago. operative word being “officially.” it didn’t take long before she was introduced to matt when he was cast in her music video and raleigh’s label paired him off with some up-and-coming actress.

cadence fought to stay present and hoped that matt would think the tears forming in her eyes was because she was overwhelmed, when in reality, she was thinking back on the last time she spoke to raleigh.

6 months ago

“i don’t know if i can do this anymore,” cadence whispered. they had publicly broken up two months ago but were still carrying on in private whenever they could. “everytime i see you, a part of me dies a little more. all we have are these stolen moments, which won’t last once one of us has to go on tour again.”

those stolen moments included spending a few hours late at night in his bedroom a few nights a week, but whenever cadence struggled with feeling like she was a shameful secret, raleigh would cave and take her out as long as they both wore disguises. tonight was one such night and leave it to raleigh to find the one club in new york city that wouldn’t be packed with celebrities on a saturday night.

cadence saw raleigh’s grip on the steering wheel tighten as he drove them back to her apartment. her eyes welled up with tears and she let them fall down her face, ruining her makeup, as she sat silently in the passenger seat.

“don’t do this now, please. we had a nice time tonight, didn’t we?”

cadence pulled the long, curly-haired wig off her head and threw it onto the dash. “i want to hold you in the street, and kiss you on the dance floor. i should be able to shout it from the rooftops. why can’t it be like that?”

“cadence, you know it’s to protect you. you’re just starting out and i’m not going to ruin that for you… we— we can’t,” raleigh said, his throat tight and voice shaky as if he was afraid of where the conversation was going.

“i don’t want to live love like this. i don’t want to hide us away, constantly wondering if it will ever change,” cadence said sadly, drying her eyes with the back of her hands, ignoring the streaks of makeup now staining her skin.

raleigh pulled into the underground garage of her building and parked the car. he reached over to hold her hand in both of his and cadence felt a sob escape her.

“you mean the world to me, cadence. i want more than anything to show you off as my girlfriend, but we have to be careful for a while longer.” he gave her a dazzling smile, but she knew his heart wasn’t in it.

“i wish we could be like that, raleigh. but it’s obvious that it won’t happen and i can’t keep going on like this. i’m sorry,” cadence sobbed, pulling her hand from his and trying to take deep breaths to calm herself down.

cadence stepped out of the car and toward the elevators as raleigh looked on in stunned silence. she didn’t look back because she knew if she did, she’d want to run right back to him.

“cadence?”

she was brought back to the moment by the sound of matt’s voice and all she could do was nod and smile and let the rest of her tears “of joy” stream down her face as matt wrapped his arms around her and spun her around.

* * * * * raleigh looked out the window of his penthouse apartment with a glass of mezcal in his hand. against his better judgment, he scanned tabloid headlines earlier that day when a photo of cadence caught his eye. the photos made it look like she was cozying up to matt rodriguez in los angeles. raleigh prided himself on being around long enough in the industry that he could spot a tabloid relationship in two seconds, but there was something about how cadence looked in those photos that made him pause.

it was clear she was having fun and enjoying herself in the photos. he recognized the look on her face when she was mid-laugh and the cheek-hurting smile she had on reminded him of the beginning of their tabloid relationship over a year and a half ago now. but even back then, raleigh knew there was something special about cadence, something that he wanted to be real, something that made him blur the lines that defined his fake relationships in the past.

he looked at his watch and knew he needed to head out if he was going to make it to the event at a reasonable time. he knew cadence would be there and while he was fine with their recent game of avoiding each other at public events, he needed to run into her tonight. he gulped down the rest of his drink and walked out of his apartment. time to get some answers.

* * * * * his eyes zeroed in on cadence the second she walked into the room. she was wearing a gorgeous gold dress that no doubt was made for her given how it fit her every curve perfectly and showed off her shoulders and collarbone. raleigh felt his body temperature rise as he pictured ripping her hair out of its pinned updo and sucking at the sensitive spots on her neck and collarbone that he knew so well.

either he had been staring for too long or cadence sensed his presence because she looked over in his direction. they locked eyes and it was as if the entire room faded away; raleigh held her gaze, almost daring her to break eye contact first. which, she did, but not before she flashed him a look that he couldn’t quite place – apologetic? regret? embarrassment? whatever it was, it fled her features faster than he could blink. he wasn’t given any time to think about it as the tinkling sound of utensil against glass somehow seemed to drown out the conversations around him.

he looked around quickly and didn’t see any food so where the fuck did people get utensils? and more importantly, why didn’t he have a drink in his hand yet? not that he was eager to join in what was inevitably a toast to the couple of the hour.

“if i could have everyone’s attention,” the host of the party spoke over the din, smiling warmly. raleigh didn’t miss the way matt held out his arm toward cadence or the way she tucked hers into the crook of his elbow seamlessly while looking up at him with that beautiful smile radiating off her face.

“cadence and i want to thank all of you for coming out to celebrate our engagement.”

raleigh tuned matt out for the rest of the toast and looked at cadence incredulously. he glanced down at her hand that was wrapped around matt’s arm and could make out a glittering diamond ring on her finger. how had he not noticed that? and more importantly, how could cadence not have given him a heads up? he had assumed the relationship was for publicity and that somehow, when her career was more established, they would find their way back together.

he watched as cadence waved to the crowd before walking up the steps to the makeshift stage and seating herself behind the sleek black baby grand piano. raleigh was mostly sure that his jaw hadn’t dropped and his eyes hadn’t widened, but he was still too stunned to check.

“people like you always want back the love they gave away,” cadence started singing, her soulful voice ringing clearly through the speakers, “and people like me wanna believe you, when you say you’ve changed.”

raleigh had heard this song several times already, it was cadence’s number one single off her upcoming album, which he presumed had plenty of references to their relationship. but he didn’t care. the only thing he had ever truly wanted in his life besides his freedom from sunset skatepark was sitting up on that stage singing her heart out.

the room broke out into loud applause and cadence bowed before stepping off the stage. raleigh felt his feet propel him toward her and barely registered that he was standing in front of her until she looked up and said his name.

“raleigh?”

“can we talk?” he asked. she nodded and he followed her to a dressing room just outside the ballroom and locked the door behind him.

cadence crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly. “what did you want to talk about?”

raleigh gave her a long, scrutinizing look. “i guess congratulations are in order. i would’ve appreciated a heads up.”

“we’re not in a relationship anymore, raleigh, you made sure of that. i didn’t realize we still owed things to each other,” cadence snapped, eyes blazing.

“cadence, you know that’s not fair. you know i care about you and was trying to protect you,” raleigh hated that he was pleading.

“i didn’t ask you to protect me, i asked you to be with me. you had me in the palm of your hand, raleigh.”

raleigh’s fingers itched to reach out and hold her close to him, to have his body envelop hers in that way where she fit so naturally, it made you wonder if his body was made to hold hers. “i figured we’d end up together again, once your career was more established.”

cadence blinked in surprise and her eyes softened. raleigh had never given her any indication that he had thought that far ahead regarding their future, at least not seriously anyway. “oh, raleigh. i think it’s hopeless. we just weren’t meant to work out,” she sighed and walked past him to open the door.

“do you love him?” raleigh asked quietly. he glanced away once before looking at her, an almost imperceptible sign that gave away the fact that he was nervous. cadence knew this sign well and a sharp pain and sense of longing tugged at her heart.

“of course, i’m marrying him,” she replied, dropping her gaze. he was looking at her so intensely, she felt like he would see right through her. she turned around and walked out the door.

raleigh followed her and turned her back around to face him. “no, look me in the eye and tell me that you love him,” raleigh demanded firmly, grabbing her chin gently and lilting her face up so she was looking up at him.

“raleigh, i—”

“cadence, babe? there’s someone i want you to meet,” matt called out from behind her, cutting her off.

she gave her best apologetic look to raleigh and said, “i better go.”

as she turned around, he grabbed her hand gently and whispered in her ear, “you haven’t answered my question yet.”

cadence chose to ignore him as she followed matt to the other side of the room, toward his hollywood friends, all of whom she had met before. they ducked behind the group inconspicuously.

“are you okay? things looked a bit tense,” matt asked softly once he was sure that his friends were effectively blocking cadence from raleigh’s view.

5 months ago

“are you okay? you look a bit tense,” matt said, his tone friendly and free of judgment, which cadence appreciated.

“my publicist wants us to be in a fake relationship. i’m just tired of that sort of thing and thought she’d be a little more understanding since it hasn’t been that long since my last relationship ended.”

matt looked at her thoughtfully. “i gathered that most of the songs we filmed these music videos for were about at least one past relationship, but they were all about the same guy, weren’t they?”

cadence nodded, somewhat grateful that she was feeling too down to feel embarrassed that matt figured out she was still pining for raleigh.

“well, why don’t we try dating for real? it might help you move on and we’d still give our publicists the public relationship they want,” matt suggested. “and who knows? if everything goes well, we can even get engaged.”

cadence was surprised at the sincerity in matt’s voice. she tilted her head as she considered what he was really suggesting. “that would definitely catch everyone’s attention. okay, let’s do it.”

“i’m fine. mission accomplished,” she said, giving him a half-hearted smile.

“it’s not over until it’s over,” matt said, caressing his thumb over the diamond on her finger. “but maybe it’s time to make it official.”

cadence wrapped her arms around him and let herself be comforted by matt’s strong, warm body. “thanks matt. i’ll see you later.”

raleigh watched cadence make her way to the exit before following as quickly as he could. he meant it when he said he was going to get answers. by the time he made it outside, she was nowhere in sight. but he wasn’t going to give up. he flagged down the nearest cab and gave them instructions to her apartment.

when he arrived, he made his way to her unit and hesitated for a beat in front of her door. did he really want to do this? hear that she was in love with another man and was planning on marrying someone that was not him? did he no longer have a chance; was it really hopeless? raleigh lowered his hand briefly as he thought through a scenario where she was lost to him forever.

he let himself wallow for barely a minute before shaking his head angrily. cadence owed him a clear answer. and he at least owed her the truth about his feelings. he knocked twice and pressed his ear to the door. her apartment had a fairly thin door and he could only hear dead air. she probably hadn’t gotten home yet. raleigh took off his jacket and made himself comfortable on the floor. he would wait for however long it took.

cadence looked out the window of the cab as it approached raleigh’s brooklyn neighborhood. she felt a wave of nostalgia come over her at the familiar street lamps and buildings they passed. once they arrived, she quickly ducked inside the building and made her way to the elevator. there were two penthouse units on the top floor and cadence stood outside raleigh’s, suddenly wishing she had changed out of the ridiculous glittery gold dress and heels into something more casual. she steeled herself and held her chin up as she knocked on the door. after a beat, she knocked again, louder, just in case he left and went home after their brief interaction earlier than night. she hadn’t seen him leave the event and figured she might have to wait. she bunched up the skirt of her dress so she could sit on the fabric and took off her heels, sighing with relief. now all she had to do was wait.

* * * * * mentions: @raleigh-edward; @dulceghernandez; @thegreentwin; @kat-tia801; @otherworldlypresents; @brycesgirl; @robintora;

#reposting for new blog #choices platinum #choices #pb choices #playchoices #choices fanfic #choices fanfics #playchoices fanfictin #raleigh carrera #cadence dorian #matt rodriguez #raleigh carrera x mc #raleigh x mc #raleigh carrera x cadence dorian #raleigh x cadence #not twc #my writing #my choices fics

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proxylynn · 4 years

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Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #25

WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^

------------------------------------------------

Hell hath no fury like this fish woman. For Undyne's rage casts a near-visible aura of hate as she stormed her way into Hotland. Clad in her special armor, keeping her form from dehydrating, she intimidates those that witness her barreling towards the Lab. With a mighty kick, she almost hurls the doors from their hinges before continuing inside. Knowing all too well where her intended target is. Cameras follow her movements but do little to warn their owner in time. Alphys receives the signal just as the echos of hurried stomps reaches her ears. By the time the doors are thrown open, Alphys has made the scene a little more authentic and hides away her more sketchy items. As one can imagine, the Captain of the Royal Guard is less than pleased to see a human being given treatment instead of having its soul collected.

"U-Undyne...W-W-What a surprise."

"Cut the crap, Alphys. How long have you known about it being in the Underground?! Why wasn't I informed?! And why, in Asgore's name, are you keeping that thing alive?!"

The disgruntled captain points at the unconscious human strapped to a bloody slab with several machines around her. Thick bandages cover the wounds given on-screen, the eerie beeps of the machines that are annoyingly loud in the silence, sticky liquid crimson softly dribbles from the slab edges to a small pool draining on the floor as tubes and wires are placed on vital areas. The scene looks like a medical mess. For what good it does to try, Alphys puts on a straight face and gets professionally cold to defend her work.

"Your Captain of the Guard status does not mean I report to you or have to inform you of anything."

The rage of Undyne only increases.

"What did you say?!"

Alphys adjusts her glasses, snidely flipping Undyne off with her middle finger.

"I am the Royal Scientist. I work under and report directly to the King himself. My rank supersedes yours. And as such, unless it is a matter that requires your assistance, I will inform only those that are needed to be informed. Understood?"

Undyne snarls beneath her helmet. This type of thing wasn't uncommon. She knows that Alphys separates herself when it comes to her work. Undyne does it too but tries not to be so obnoxious. It's moments like this that make her crush a little less on this lizard girl.

"But to answer your question...This human has been living in the Ruins for quite some time. Sans and Papyrus have been monitoring her for me."

The skeletons? Those sneaky bastards! She bet Papyrus was thinking he'd use this to one-up her.

"Why use them and not me?"

"Really? You can't stand the cold and they live there. It's a no brainer."

Good point.

"Okay...But why monitor? The law clearly states that the soul of any human is to be collected. No exceptions!"

Undyne summons a spear and readies to spike the human through the face. That is till Alphys moves over to the human and interacts with one of the machines, making her soul slowly emerge...it's white. This sight has the captain of the guard drop her weapon and remove her helm to ensure her eye was not playing a trick on her. Without her helm, the true visage of the Captain of the Guard is shown. Undyne is a piscine anthropomorphic monster. She has blue scales and a long red hair she keeps in a wild ponytail. Red and blue fins on the sides of her head act like ears, she has no nose to speak of. Her teeth are sharp yellow daggers like a barracuda or shark. She has red eye shadow and has an eye-patch on her left eye. Her good eye has a black vertical pupil and a yellow sclera.

"It's...White? What the hell? It was light blue on TV. I saw it!"

"We all did. And it was purple when I first examined her. This is why I've had her under severance and not executed. This human...It's not like the humans we've encountered or the ones in our texts. She seems to be able to change traits or possesses multiple traits."

"How is that possible? Is that even a thing? Is that a thing humans can do now?"

"I haven't collected enough data to determine that. My current theory is that she may be a random mutation, an evolutionary anomaly of sorts. Though, from the information I have gotten, it seems the humans of now have indeed fully lost their usage of magic."

"I thought those past ones seemed off."

"Yes. The previous humans were lacking in their levels of magic but they still possessed it. This one, however, according to my scans had no magic in her soul prior to coming to the Underground."

Scientist say what?

"Wait...What's that supposed to mean?"

Alphys pulls out what looks to be her cell phone and moves it over the soul, scanning till it beeps. She then shows the results to the Captain.

"There's at least 20% to 30% magic now resonating in her soul. Enough to trigger magic prepubescence."

Undyne snickers at the thought of such a thing and it nearly breaks Alphys's composure.

"You can't be serious."

"I am. I had to stabilize the flux with those patches we give out to teens. It's why she's about 30%."

"Dare I ask...How a non-magic soul suddenly has magic?"

"Not sure. Perhaps it's the nature of such a weak soul to pull magic when it can, however, it can. Be it from the surroundings, food, or contact with other beings of magic. Who's to say? Or her soul could be like a parasite and leeching magic for as of yet unknown reasons. I'm just throwing ideas at this point."

"So...What you're saying is the human is dangerous."

"All humans are dangerous, Undyne. But this one? *scoff* Since being down here her LV hasn't budged from its base level."

The Captain is intrigued.

"Has it not been in a fight?"

"Quite the opposite. There's plenty of telltale signs, not to mention video surveillance, that indicates she's been attacked."

"So the wimp flees? Pathetic."

"Sometimes. Most of the time they endure the fight and find a way to end it without fighting back."

A gruff laugh leaves the fish woman.

"Pacifism? Down here? Now that's a joke."

Alphys checks on a liquid-filled bag that's emptying into the human's veins.

"As dumb as it may be, her strategy is a good thing..."

She increases the dripping.

"By not attacking, she isn't killing anyone. And by not killing anyone, she isn't gaining LV. And you know what that means."

Undyne grins like a hungry barracuda.

"It makes it all the easier to collect the last soul."

Alphys nods and removes her glasses to clean them.

"Still...With the number of unknown variables, I'd have to insist on further study of this soul and not just yet bringing it to the King, even if she dies."

"How come?"

"Like I said, too many unknowns. If Asgore wishes to fuse with the seven souls it would be best to make sure this one doesn't overpower or corrupt his own."

"Hmmm...I guess that's fair. We don't need to waste the human souls and lose the King if we can help it."

"My thoughts exactly."

Alphys puts her glasses back on and steps away from the human.

"Come, Undyne. We must leave now."

Confusion comes to the Captain.

"What? Why? You're really going to leave her unattended?"

Alphys grows colder.

"Do not be so stupid."

Undyne had to bite her tongue hard.

"I never said she'd be alone."

With a simple button press on her phone, the sound of speeding rubber screeches towards them, the door opening seconds later.

"IS IT TIME? SHE'S IN STABLE CONDITION?"

Mettaton skids to a stop with excitement.

"She's stable. And under heavy sedation. You may proceed with the prep work."

Digitized giggling pours from the automaton.

"EXCELLENT. LADIES, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME..."

Undyne is ushered out by Alphys before she can question things.

"Um..."

"Don't think about it too much."

"But..."

"As they say...The show must go on. I suggest you stick around and watch what unfolds."

Undyne groans to herself.

"I'll make that spicy ramen that you like."

"...Extra chili flakes?"

"Yep."

"Hot damn!"

With the women gone, Mettaton turns his attention to the human on the slab.

"OH DARLING..."

A compartment opens on his side and he extracts what looks like a kit of some kind.

"WE HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO."

[AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER-BEHIND THE LAB]

The wall of the building opens up, a split door allows the heat of Hotland in while the unconscious human carried by the killer robot comes out.

"FINALLY...THE SHOW CAN COMMENCE ONCE AGAIN."

While two of his arms set the human down his other two open a bottle of smelling salts and wave it under her nose, slowly rousing her back to consciousness.

"WAKIE WAKIE, DARLING."

She groans in delirium and sits up. Medical grade sedatives really pack a punch.

"FOCUS DEAR. HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?"

Mettaton holds up his four arms and each is displaying two fingers. Her head wobbles with dizziness and she rubs the sleep from her eyes.

"Mettaton? *yawn* Why is it so hot?"

Why did she have to be so cute when so messed up?

"I'LL ANSWER YOU IF YOU ANSWER ME."

She shakes her head clear and stares at him for a bit.

"Eight."

He sighs with relief and helps her up before patting her head.

"GOOD. YOU'RE PERFECTLY FINE."

"Not entirely sure that's what I'd call it after the game you made me do. But whatever. Least I ain't dead."

"THERE WE GO. ALWAYS LOOKING ON THE POSITIVE SIDE OF THINGS."

Her senses coming back, she looks at her form and begins growling at the mechanical television star.

"IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?"

"I'm going to ask this as calmly as I can and I want you to be honest...Did you dress me in my sleep?!"

In Mettaton's defense, it's not like he could leave her in her bloody outfit or the medical gown. And to his credit, he made it for her to be both fashionable as well as comfortable in Hotland's arid heat. A black zip back cutout crisscross cami top with MTT emblazoned in red across the chest, waist-high black garter shorts with tiny Mettaton studs along the straps, black ripped footless tights end in knee-high black riding boots that have red MTT zippers, and to add to her annoyance her nails were also painted red. The only normal thing about her was he kept her hair tied in a ponytail but moved it higher up to be more lively than her usual dead weight droop.

"TO BE FAIR, DARLING, YOU WERE A BLOODY MESS AFTER THE SHOW. IT WOULD BE TASTELESS TO HAVE MY CO-STAR CONTINUE IN ANYTHING LESS THAN THE BEST."

She gets flustered.

"That's not the point! You could've waited till I was awake and I would've dressed myself! Instead, you did so while I was vulnerable."

She shudders and looks away from him.

"To think...I started to like you."

An exclamation mark flashes on his screen.

"But it seems you're just as bad as the scum on the surface."

He panics and waves his hands in defense.

"W-WAIT A SECOND, DEAR, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Then...Aside from seeing my frail body, do you deny the obvious usage of me as brand advertisement?"

The look she gives him is cold and hurt, making him flinch.

"UM...WELL...I..."

She turns around with her hands on her hips and smirks.

"We're not on camera right now, are we?"

His screen flashes in confusion.

"...NO? NO CAMERAS ARE ACTIVE AT THIS MOMENT. WHY?"

"Heh...Because you're being you right now. The same guy I got to know over the phone. TV you is more cold and sticks to the script, like a soulless machine. This you, the ghost in the shell, this guy I like and willing to work with."

He's caught off guard by that remark.

"UM...WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?"

"Which part?"

"GHOST IN THE SHELL."

"Oh, that? It's the name of a manga/anime series. The setting is a future where technology is so advanced that it becomes an existential crisis if souls can transfer over to pure machine bodies and if artificial intelligence can gain humanity through cyber-evolution. It's really deep."

"OH."

"It also is a play on the fact you're literally a ghost in a robot shell."

He flinches.

"W-WHAT? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE..."

"Dude, don't lie. We're not on camera and Alphys already confirmed my suspicions."

He blanks for a moment sighing.

"WELL...BRAVO, DARLING. YOU'VE SOLVED MY GREATEST SECRET."

She shrugs.

"It's no big deal. And don't worry about anyone else knowing, I ain't a snitch."

"SUCH A CLEVER GIRL. I KNEW YOU'D BE PERFECT FOR THIS."

Her arms fold.

"While I was messing with you before, I am pissed about this."

"WHICH PART?"

"This! This isn't my style. It feels weird and shows way too much skin for my liking."

At this rate, he was lucky she couldn't see her reflection or she'd be pissed about how he did her makeup. Red eye-shadow to create a smoky effect on her eyelids. Mascara to make her long lashes even longer. A bold black swoop of liquid eyeliner all the way to the outer corners of her eyes and swept a little up at the end. And the pièce de résistance is the luscious red lipstick to make it all pop.

"BUT, DARLING, YOUR OLD CLOTHES WERE RUINED. BESIDES, WITH HOW THICK THAT FABRIC WAS, YOU'D DIHYDRATE IN MOMENTS OUT HERE. AND NO ONE WANTS A SWEATY DRIED OUT SACK ON SCREEN."

She leers.

"NOT SAYING YOU ARE ONE. MAKING THAT CLEAR HERE."

She sighs.

"I see your point. I ain't happy about it, but I see the reason behind it."

"GOOD."

She checks herself and gets upset.

"My items? Where are my items?!"

"I TOLD YOU, YOUR CLOTHES WERE A MESS AND I CHANGED YOU INTO THIS."

She grabs him.

"Metta, my buddy, I need my gear. My stats are crap without my items. Please tell me you didn't trash them...Please?!"

To understand her panic he checks her.

[Lynsie - LV:1 - HP: 40 ATK: 20 DEF: 11 - Too nice for her own good.]

Her HP increased? How? Her LV hasn't increased. Did she earn EXP in the game and recovery? Wait...The other stats are dangerously weak. Hmmm...This gives him a wicked idea. If his screen could grin it would be wide and twisted.

"OH HEAVENS NO, DARLING. YOUR POSSESSIONS ARE SAFE."

Her eyes light up.

"Sweet! Can I please have them?"

He grabs her waist and scoots her back from him a bit.

"UNFORTUNATELY, I DO NOT HAVE THEM ON ME."

"But...W-Where are they then?"

All four hands point out into the distance.

"YOU CAN HAVE YOUR ITEMS BACK...ONCE YOU MAKE TO THE NEXT FILM SET."

Her jaw drops.

"Dude! Are you freaking serious? Do we see the same stats? Because I'm fairly sure I can get one-shot killed out here."

"RELAX, DARLING..."

"Relax?! Says the guy that literally can't be hurt!"

He waves dismissively.

"AND THEY CALL ME DRAMATIC. LOOK, I CAN'T JUST GIVE YOU THEM BACK NOR CAN I TAKE YOU TO THE NEXT SET. YOU SHOULD KNOW THE REASON WHY."

She glares before pouting in defeat.

"The law requires you to still attempt to 'capture' me."

His screen flashes.

"BINGO! AND TO PROVE THAT I AM FOLLOWING THE LAW WHILE STILL WORKING WITH YOU, YOU WILL BE TELEVISED AS YOU MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH MY SHOW GAUNTLET."

She looks at him funny.

"TO BE HONEST IT'S JUST NORMAL ENVIRONMENT AND PIPEWORK FOR THE CORE. BUT I DID ADD OBSTACLES AND PUZZLES, SO TECHNICALLY IT COUNTS."

Her funny look grows.

"And you film back there in all that?"

"IT MAKES MORE SENSE WHEN YOU SEE IT."

"I guess."

All four hands slap together in a loud clap.

"GREAT! NOW THAT THAT IS ALL SAID AND DONE, HERE'S THE DEAL. ONCE YOU TURN THAT CORNER AND BEGIN THE TREK, YOU'LL BE BACK ON TV."

"Okay."

"TRY NOT TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL, WE DON'T NEED VIEWERS KNOWING YOU'VE BEEN HERE LONGER THAN ADVERTISED AND WITH THE HELP OF OTHERS."

"True, very true."

"AND SINCE YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR PHONE..."

"Can I get that back too? I swear I won't make calls."

"OR TEXT?"

"Did you even see my phone? It can't text or take pictures."

"HMMM...I'LL THINK ABOUT IT."

"Please and thank you."

"LIKE I WAS SAYING SINCE YOU DON'T HAVE IT AND MAY NEED HELP UNDERSTANDING A FEW OF THE MORE TRICKIER PUZZLES..."

On hand retreats into his body and pops out with a small clip-like earring that, you guessed it, looks like him.

"ATTACH THIS TO YOUR EAR AND YOU'LL BE ABLE TO HEAR MY MELODIOUS VOICE WHEN I NOTICE YOU'RE NOT PROGRESSING."

"Not that I'm against it, but isn't this cheating?"

He chuckles while bringing her close and clipping it to her right ear.

"DON'T THINK OF IT LIKE THAT. IT'S LIKE YOU SAID, YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK WITH ME AND WE BOTH DON'T WANT YOU DEAD. YOU'LL STILL BE GOING AT THIS ON YOUR OWN, BUT WITH A LITTLE LIFELINE THAT GIVES YOU CLUES AND NOT FULL ANSWERS. NOW DOES THAT SOUND MORE OKAY?"

"FANTASTIC!"

He spins around and shoves her to the ground before retracting his wheel to begin hovering.

"WELL, DARLING, THE NEXT WE MEET I HOPE IT TO BE SOON AND WHILE YOU STILL BREATHE."

"Um...Me too."

He takes off like a rocket to the next stage, kicking up dust and smoke in his wake.

"FAIR THEE WELL...!"

The cloud takes a bit to settle and the human finds herself alone. The path ahead is unknown but the only way to go. Somehow being behind the building she thinks she was held within and with no door to speak of insight. She silently prayed that her trust in the robot that abducted her was well placed...even though that thought made her question her ability to pick people to trust. Either way, her journey through game show hell begins now as she walks the lonely road that is way too narrow and high up for her liking.

[Snowdin: Skeleton House in present time]

Nothing. Nothing but re-run filler has been on the TV for hours. And all they could do was wait. Wait for any change on that damn picture box. Papyrus was doing his best to keep a worried Toriel and tense Grillby from burning the house down. Sans on the other hand was lost in his mind, retracing the history of his time in the LAB and its many rooms. Where were they hiding the human? What new rooms were added since he left? Could Alphys still be using the old underground facility?

*obnoxious fanfare*

The television cuts from its old showing to Mettaton live out in Hotland, on real clues can be seen as he hovers about the volcanic rock.

"SORRY FOR THE DELAY MY DEADLY GUYS AND DOLLS. SEEMS I WAS A BIT TOO ROUGH DURING OUR LAST GAME AND MY CO-STAR NEEDED EXTRA TIME TO RECOVER. GUESS I DON'T KNOW MY OWN STRENGTH."

His nonchalant attitude and words were far from comforting to the four.

"BUT FEAR NOT, AS SHE HAS MADE A FULL RECOVERY!"

A weight is lifted from the room.

"IN FACT, SHE'S ON THE START OF THE NEXT PHASE OF OUR SHOW. A DANGEROUS GAUNTLET OF OBSITCLES, DAUNTING PUZZLES, AND THE RANDOM VAGABOND THAT MAY OR MAY NOT JUST HAPPEN TO BE WANDERING AROUND."

The video feed shifts to the human on a conveyor belt. Merely scrolling along in a tacky outfit and makeup trying not to look down.

"The fuck is she wearing?!"

Grillby fumes. Toriel is equally unhappy about her daughter's new look. Sans rolls his eyes, finding it somewhat funny that Grillby is displeased by this when did way worse before.

"HER GOAL, REACH THE END TO BEGIN OUR NEXT SHOW SEGMENT. SHE WILL REPEAT THIS TWO MORE TIMES BEFORE ENDING WITH OUR FOURTH AND FINAL ENCOUNTER."

That doesn't sound good. The feed zooms in on her.

"WILL SHE SURVIVE AND EARN HER LIFE TO LIVE FOR ANOTHER DAY? OR WILL THIS BE THE DAY THE LAST SOUL IS COLLECTED? WE SHALL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH. IN THE MEANTIME, I NEED TO AQUIRE A FEW ODDS AND ENDS, SO I LEAVE YOU TO OUR DARLING'S DARING DO. ENJOY."

The camera switches to a different angle and continues to follow her. Before the words can even leave Papyrus's mouth Sans is already shaking his head.

"i still don't know where that is."

"ARE YOU SURE?"

"trust me, i don't recognize where she's at."

"Don't you have a post in Hotland?"

Grillby points out much to Papyrus's puzzlement.

"YOU HAVE A POST IN HOTLAND?"

Sans sighs.

"it's like i told ya, i do more than ya think i do. i have posts at the start of snowdin forest, waterfall's beginning, level two of hotland, and i am the one that waits in the judgment hall."

Papyrus is even more confused but Toriel starts to broil.

"You...You were the one all along, were you not?"

Sans balls his fists, bracing for this.

"You were the one that killed the humans that left the Ruins."

No Tori...not all...just one...over and over again.

"no. i haven't killed anyone."

That gave her some relief. But more questions.

"Then if not you, who does harm them?"

"asgore does."

And that killed it. Her eyes sink with a flame, one of hate and despair. It's painfully obvious. She's going to snap.

"ya should know he doesn't take pleasure in doin' it."

Her expression falters.

"it's a lot of weight on that old goat's shoulders. what with bein' a king and everyone expectin' him to solve all our problems, like breakin' the barrier. it's one thing to kill someone that's wronged ya. it's much harder to look an innocent in the eyes and end them."

She frowns, seeing some truth in his words.

"ya may hate his guts, but he's harborin' the biggest burden. bein' the one to harvest the souls."

"But..."

Does she still wish to fight?

"But the law states humans are to be killed on sight, right? You can not tell me the Guard has not spilled blood in all this time!"

"ACTUALLY..."

Papyrus chimes in.

"WHILE IT'S TRUE, THAT IS THE BLUNTEST FORM OF THE LAW, IT'S NOT THE EXACT WORDING. *AHEM* IF A LIVING HUMAN IS FOUND IN THE UNDERGROUND THAN THEY ARE TO BE ENGAGED AND CAPTURED. EXTREME CAUTION AND VIOLENCE IS TO BE USED IN THE APRENTION OF HUMAN SOULS. NOWHERE IS IT SAID WE ARE TO KILL ON SIGHT. BUT THE CURRENT CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD HAS INTERPRETED THIS LAW IN HER OWN WAY AND INFORCES IT AS SUCH...DEATH TO ALL HUMANS. NO EXCEPTIONS. OVERTIME, THAT'S HOW THE LAW EVOLVED TO BE KNOWN TO THE PUBLIC."

"Why?"

"captain undyne lost her family in the war. that kind of wound doesn't heal easily. it didn't help much that the hammer of punishment took her in as his own."

That name struck a chord.

"Gerson? I suppose that does make sense. He was ruthless in his prime. And he left our court when we choose to surrender. Said we were showing weakness by giving in. So many were already lost...We wanted to end the slaughter before the dust count became unrecognizable."

"seems that spite got passed on in undyne."

"OUR CAPTAIN GOES BY ANOTHER...THE SPEAR OF PUNISHMENT."

Her worry overcomes any animosity she held.

"I pray my child never encounters your Captain."

One can only hope.

"Shit..."

Grillby gets their attention.

"She's been spotted."

Eyes return to the television and the footage shown. The human had passed the large system of conveyor belts going forward and backward. Exhaust ports of vermilion flame burst from nearby pipes in the background, the wooshing sound of steam and cogs adding to the scenery. Reaching the end of the conveyor belts, the human comes into view of several small islands surrounded by boiling lava. Most of these islands hold steam vents. However, the human is unaware of this due to being blocked by a Tsunderplane.

[HOTLAND: LEVEL ONE]

Damn this heat. Damn this plan of yours, Mettaton. And damn this odd-looking monster that won't get out of my way. It appears to resemble a regular real-world modern airplane, an Airbus A340-300 to be exact, wearing a black mob cap with thin red ribbons on it, a faint blush tints its nosecone.

"Um...Do you mind?"

I move slightly to the side, trying to give it room while avoiding the edge. But it just moves the same as I do, almost like a mock mimic. Maybe it's just a fluke. I try it again. And again it does it.

"You're not gonna let me by, are you?"

My soul feels gripped and without skipping a beat, my blue soul comes out, a battle begins.

[Tsunderplane gets in the way! Not on purpose or anything.]

Wait...Don't tell me that name means what I think it does. What are my options?

[FIGHT]

[ACT]

[̴͝SP͜͞E͡L̵͜L͟͠͏]͘͢

[ITEM]

[MERCY]

That weird one came back? It looks so...messed up. I won't touch it. Maybe as a last resort, but not if I can help it. Let's see what this thing is made of.

[ACT selected.]

[New options available.]

[CHECK]

[FLIRT]

[APPROACH]

I am not doing those last two before I know what this thing can do.

[CHECK selected.]

[TSUNDERPLANE – HP: 80 ATK: 25 DEF: 26 – Seems mean, but does it secretly like you?]

"The fuck...?"

This plane catches an attitude.

"No way! Why would I like YOU?!"

Especially since we've only just met. Wait...

"You can talk?!"

It moves it's wings up, summing its attack. Several smaller planes fly horizontally straight from either side above me, dropping bombs that look like miniature nukes. Once a bomb hits the ground, a vertical line of toxic smoke appears and blocks my sight momentarily. All in all, this is not easy to avoid because of the lack of space and I end up taking a really nasty hit.

[HP ████████████████ 15/40]

I'm too afraid to check my wound. My ears are ringing and I feel damp somewhere on my side. I won't stand another hit like that. Damn it! I need my defense items!

*bang*

My head is smacked hard by metal.

[Tsunderplane "accidentally" bumps you with its wing.]

It pushed me back. It's keeping distance. Why it's not like it needs the room, damn thing can fly. I wonder...What'll happen if I get close? But first I need to heal.

[ITEM selected.]

I need to remember to thank Flowey when I see him again. If it wasn't for his prodding I'd have nothing in my inventory.

["Butterscotch Cheesecake" - All HP - Butterscotch cheesecake, one slice.]

"Mmmm...So good. Thanks, mama."

[You ate the Butterscotch Cheesecake. Your HP was maxed out.]

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

Ah, much better. Now I just need to avoid getting hit again. My turn ends.

"Hmph! Id... Idiot! Don't get in my way!"

You blocked me, asshat.

She uses a different attack but one that's somewhat easier to deal with. Large planes fly directly at me, leaving a horizontal-moving toxic trail of smoke balls. I am grateful this was it's second go. I dodge this one better, no damage taken.

[Tsunderplane shakes its nose dismissively at you.]

"_... Human..."

Now it speaks in emojis? I mean, I guess that's a thing that can happen, Gaster speaks in hands and junk.

"Something wrong? I can't help but notice."

Going off its behavior and name, I put some real emphasis on the word notice. It flinches. Got you.

Tsundere is a Japanese term for a character development process that depicts a person who is initially cold and sometimes even hostile before gradually showing a warmer, friendlier side over time. The word is derived from the terms tsun tsun ('to turn away in disgust or anger') and dere dere ('to become affectionate'). They're the opposite of a Yandere. Yandere is a Japanese term for a person who is initially very loving and gentle to someone or at least innocent before their devotion becomes destructive in nature, often through violence and/or brutality. The term is derived from the words yanderu (a mental or emotional illness) and dere dere. They are different and yet have one weakness...Wanting the attention of Senpai, the person they have a fondness for. Why do I know all this? Because I'm a big freaking dork! I can use this. I just don't understand why it would have such feelings.

"...H-human ... ...?"

Now to test my theory.

[APPROACH selected.]

[You get close to Tsunderplane. But not too close.]

"Eeeeh? H-human ...?"

It's getting flustered. I'm not proud of this method but if it works to keep me alive, so be it.

"You don't mind me getting close, right?"

[Tsunderplane looks over, then turns up its nose.]

"Huh!? Y-you sicko!"

It spins on heels it doesn't have and nearly takes my head. This ain't going to be easy.

The mini planes return but something's off. Six planes attacked me before, but now there's only three. Easier than before yet still dangerous. That smoke is noxious and obnoxious.

[Tsunderplane gives you a condescending barrel roll.]

"Don't think I'm going easy on you! It's not like I LIKE you."

Your actions say otherwise, so does that growing blush. Time for phase two.

[FLIRT selected.]

[You tell Tsunderplane it has an impressive wingspan.]

"I must say, birds wish they could have wings like that. Very cool."

It covers its nosecone in its wingtips.

"Ah...is that true...?"

"Why would I lie?"

I think this is working. It summons the large planes again but this time the planes are surrounded by narrow green auras and the smoke trails aren't moving. Curiosity has me touching the green and finding it does two things. One, it doesn't hurt me. And two, it's blushing more excitedly. After touching four Tsunderplane is practically glowing, or it could be the headlights. And when that last sixth plane passes Tsunderplane looks away shyly and starts to give off the smell of an airport perfume counter. Maybe just one more to seal the deal.

[FLIRT selected.]

[You tell Tsunderplane it has cute winglets.]

"Awww...Those wingtip fences are so cute! Then again, on such an adorable aircraft, that's to be expected."

It loses its mind. Jetting high up and aileron rolls three times before zipping off into the distance.

[YOU WON!]

[You earned 0 XP and 60 gold.]

Damn! That's some gold! Much needed due to spending all my gold in Waterfall so long ago.

"Not my worse fight but one of the more interesting ones. Till we meet again, Tsunderplane-chan."

I wave to where I saw Tsunderplane fly off and return to my journey. However, this is short-lived once again, but not by a monster. I think this is one of the obstacles Mettaton told me about. The land is broken. Vents shoot out big gusts of steam. I think he intends for me to use these to traverse the area since there are painted red arrows on the one in front of me and the one across from it. The flaw in this plan of his is this...In trying to have seen any of this, I ended up looking down.

Sweat begins to slide down my brow, but not from the heat. My wide eyes can't look away from the high as hell drop to lava that I'm meant to cross. My body starts to tremble. My breathing harsh. I'm going into a panic.

[Snowdin: Skeleton House in present time]

That was a stressful fight to watch. The massive damage the human took at the start made it clear she had been stripped of her armor, adding harsher levels of difficulty to an already challenging task. But they know her well by this point. She's clever. She's adaptable. She's stubborn as hell. And she knows they're likely watching.

["Butterscotch Cheesecake" - All HP - Butterscotch cheesecake, one slice.]

"Mmmm...So good. Thanks, mama."

[You ate the Butterscotch Cheesecake. Your HP was maxed out.]

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

Toriel's motherly heart was swelling. This one. This was the one she believed could survive in this hell. And her non-violent victory against the Tsunderplane made it more clear that her daughter wasn't so much the child she believed her to be.

"Yeah! Way to go, pussycat!"

Grillby is at least in better spirits. He nearly torched the couch when he thought of Mettaton stripping her of her armor.

"SHE'S NOT MOVING."

True. The human had won the fight but was now frozen in place by the vents, fear dripped from her face.

"uh oh."

This got attention.

"What is wrong? Why does she not continue?"

"pap and me found this out about her when she first came out of the ruins. she's afraid of heights. and if she doesn't move soon, she'll pass out under the pressure."

"But...It's not like she can just leave. And if she falls..."

No one wanted to finish that thought.

"THE HELL...?"

Something new appears and has their attention.

"Flowey?"

[HOTLAND: LAB]

Undyne had been watching the many screens Alphys controls as part of Mettaton's live feed broadcast. Nothing had been particularly interesting, not even that bogus fight with the Tsunderplane. But then...

"The fuck...? Alphys, you seeing this?"

Of course, the lizard was scribbling like a madman on her notepad. This was something new.

"Huh...Show me what ya got, human."

The fish woman resumes watching with a hearty slurp of noddles.

[HOTLAND: LEVEL ONE]

It's happening again. My legs turn to jelly and I drop to my knees. I can't do this. I can't move. What if I fall? I don't want to burn to death. I heard it's not quick either like how movies portray it. The pain overload is what kills you. I don't want that. I ̕ca͢n̛'́t ͢de̶al͏! Í ̸c̷̨a̴n'͡t!͘

*STATIC* HELLO? DARLING? CAN YOU HEAR ME?

The earpiece Mettaton gave me goes off. But something's interfering.

*STATIC* YOU NEED TO GET GOING, DEAR. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE STEAM. IT WON'T BURN. THOUGH YOU MIGHT GET A BIT TENDER IF YOU PLAY IN THEM TOO LONG.

T̷̵h̷́at̵̨'̧͞s̵̸͞ ́̀not ̷̕͜h́el̴͘̕p̛i̸͜ng͟!̢͟

I feel it starting. The blood dripping from my nose. Why? Why am I so weak?!

*STATIC* DARLING? COME ON. YOU NEED TO MOVE. WE HAD A DEAL.

F̴̶͢u͘͞c̶͞k͏ ͟͏̴ý̢ou ̸́a̶̕͜n҉͞d҉̛ ̶̀y͢o̡u̸͠r̸ ̧́͝d͞e̢͜ą̕l͢͝! ̨̛I͝͞͝'̶m̢҉ n̡o̡͜͝t̴ ̵҉̛m̀͏o͘͝v̴́͠i͏̀n͟͡ǵ͜!̴

Strange energy begins to crackle around me. I don't know what it is and it's freaking me out more!

"There you are..."

Life returns to me upon hearing Flowey's voice.

"You just always seem to...The hell is up with your face?!"

"B̢͢͞ŗ̡̀o̸t̡h̡͟e̵̛r͘̕͞?"

The strange energy slowly dissipates, Flowey being here is calming me down, though the sight still unnerves him.

"Easy now. Just calm down. You don't want to overtax your soul."

"S̨-̀Sơr͡ry̷.̛.͞.I.̶..͢*shaky inhale*I looked down."

Flowey moves over to me and pats my leg with a tiny vine.

"Don't worry, your big brother's here for you."

I give him a nervous smile and wipe my nose.

"So...What's wrong with my face?"

"Uh...Nothing. You look fine."

I look at him flatly.

"I have makeup on, don't I?"

"Well..."

God dang it, Mettaton.

"Fudge it. As long as I'm not dolled up like a clown, ignore it. Right now I need help."

"Fine with me, but first...I want an apology for that stunt at the bar."

I nod.

"I'm sorry. It was a dirty move. But..."

He pouts.

"You wanted to talk to him without me butting in."

I claw the ground.

"...There are things I still can't tell you."

"When? When can you open up to me?"

"Soon. Lots of stuff I know is in pieces. I just need to figure out how it all fits to understand."

"Like what?"

"Well for starters...Getting through this crap."

Flowey looks out at the vents.

"You really can't do this?"

"No. My acrophobia, paranoia, vertigo, and lack of self-confidence prevents it."

"Sheesh. At least your honest."

I sit on my heels and slap my face a few times, trying to psych myself out.

"The body and mind both have their own ways of keeping themselves safe. Even if one of them is tricking the other. My body won't move if my brain keeps telling it no because it feels in danger."

"Hmmm...And I take it you're not up for that blindfold idea again."

I look at him confused.

"Over lava?!"

He sighs.

"Yeah, fair enough."

This sucks.

"Oh! I got an idea. What if I carry you over?"

Flower-goat-boy say what?

"Not to put you down, bro, but I ain't exactly light and I don't want you to hurt yourself trying."

He winks.

"Trust me. I'm stronger than you think."

I don't doubt you, I'm more worried I'll freak out if he does. But what choice do I have? Sit her forever or move forward.

"Okay. But not yet."

"Huh?"

I feel the ground again.

"This is rock and yet you're moving through it..."

"Yeah?"

"Can you scout ahead through this vent thing? Tell me if other monsters or crap is hiding?"

He nods.

"Can do."

He sinks into the ground. Here's hoping he stays out of sight of any hostiles. A few times I see his petal head pop up from time to time, but in areas I can't see I get a bit shook. Especially when he's out of sight for too long. I count the seconds between each puff of steam, giving up because it's too fast. A small rumble off to my side, part of Flowey's stem is protruding but seems to be having trouble coming out. With some wiggling and what looks like some tugging, he emerges yet only partly.

"*strain* H-Hey...I found something you can use."

I'm curious. I help chip some ground away and something metal appears. Looping my finger through a hole, I help him pull this mystery thing out and wow it puts up quite the struggle. With a final double pull from the both of us, the object reveals itself...a frying pan?

"The hell...?"

"I found it at one of the areas off over there. It once belonged to a human that fell a long time ago."

All this mismatch stuff. What were the humans that fell before even doing to fall with such stuff? Whatever, an item gained is better than no items at all.

[You equipped the Nasty Pan.]

[You gain 10 Attack.]

[You don't know if it's covered in old food or gore. Either way, the damage is rather consistent. Consumables items will heal 4 more HP.]

"Damn. Was really hoping for some defense boost."

"Sorry. How uneven does this make your stats now?"

"See for yourself."

He's confused till he CHECKs me.

[Lynsie - LV:1 - HP: 40 ATK: 30 DEF: 11 - Too nice for her own good.]

"What the...? What happened?!"

I stand and stretch.

"I got mugged."

He frowns.

"The robot?"

I answer with a nod and change the line of chatter to current events.

"Was there anyone out there?"

He shakes his head.

"At least that's some good news. So how do we do this?"

He moves back, over to where the path sort-of splits.

"This way."

With no other moves, I follow him to a spot where a vent is missing and he points to the land across it.

"Over there is the exit. If you can not freak out, I should be able to take you over there."

My spine shivers.

"Are you certain you can lift me over? That's at least a ten-foot gap, give or take."

"Trust me. I know what I'm capable of."

I swallow what little courage I have and shut my eyes tight.

"Please, make it quick."

"Don't worry, I got you."

There's silence for a bit. Then something slithers under then over my shoulders and slinks to wrap around my waist. I want to look but when my feet leave the ground my entire body clenches.

"Easy now. No sudden moves."

That doesn't help.

I do my best to block out everything. Like the feel of wind brushing past and intense heat that wafts up from below. My nerves are threatening to go off again. The instant I can feel a foot touch anything solid my eyes shoot open.

"See? Told you I could do it."

He's already on this side with me. Probably moved here first then reached over and carried my dumb frightened ass over. Bless you, super flower-goat-boy! The vines release and I'm once more on terra firma. I use this moment to hug Flowey.

"Thank you!"

He chuckles and now it's two going through Mettaton's show. If only I didn't leave my bag at home. Then he'd be riding with me. Then again, Mettaton would've taken that too and really screwed me over.

FINALLY. AS TOUCHING AS THAT WAS, DARLING, YOU NEED TO GET MOVING. WE'RE ALREADY BEHIND SCHEDULE AS IT IS.

I pop my neck and nod. The sooner I get through this the sooner it ends and we can go home.

"You okay with following me in case of other bull?"

"Oh yeah. You're going to need me. There are more vents past this.

I groan and silently curse everything before walking. Upon entering the north path past the steam vents, we come across another path made of pipework that veers to the right. This would be super chill if it weren't for the freaking lasers!

"This shouldn't be a big deal."

I look down at Flowey funny.

"Dude...Do you not see the lasers?"

He shakes his head.

"Don't think of them like you think they are. Those are made with magic energy. You remember what I told you about orange and light blue magic, don't you?"

It takes a second for that to click in my head. My small smirk lets him know I'm not completely stupid.

"See you on the other side."

He retreats to the ground and has to move through that, not like he can go through metal shit. So I take on this obstacle. There are nine lasers in total that go the order of orange, orange, cyan, orange, cyan, orange, cyan, cyan, and orange, with the cyan ones moving around. So by the logic of magic properties, I move through the orange ones and pause for the cyan ones till it's safe to keep going. In no time I'm at the end, a large metal pillar has a big red switch and out of spite I flip it. This effectively turns the laser off. Sweet! That was easy. Onward I go. The path veers upward and, can you guess, has more of those damn vents. A base one that changes directions, a one on the left and right side as well as in front. The path wants me to go forward but is blocked by a locked door. No doubt each side has a puzzle that opens each lock. Gotta love real-life video game logic.

"Not so bad, right?"

Speaks the emerging flora to my right.

"Still in one piece."

I joke to myself to keep the dumb side of me from saying something to jinx me.

"Need another lift?"

Looking at the gap between vents, it's not so evil as the first ones, maybe about four or five feet.

"I think I can manage this one."

He's relieved, thinking I'm being a big girl and fighting my fear.

"Great! I knew you could...wait...What are you...?!"

Don't think. Just act. Fear can't affect you if you don't realize it's there.

I take a short sprint and make nice bound over to where he's at. He's rather confused.

"The hell? What about your phobia?"

"Easy...Didn't think about it."

I head for the puzzle and he's flabbergasted.

"Wha...but...You still could've used the vents!"

"Nope!"

He catches up to me as I get distracted looking at two monsters sitting at the cliff's edge.

"You scare me something."

"How do you think I feel? I scare myself and I'm the one doing it."

There's a room nearby but these two just pull my attention. There's what appears to be a pale-green dragon in a black business suit and slick shade, like some sort of scaly lawyer. A black wisp-like monsters that reminds me of Grillby, even sporting glasses, in a gray tank-top and red pants drinking something steaming hot, dude looks chill in this heat. They don't seem to notice us and I can hardly hear bits of their chit chat. Something about how they're glad that the reactivated puzzles are preventing them from progressing as they do not want to go to work. They are also muttering some other stuff but I head for the room before they see this random human.

Inside the puzzle room, I'm met by two things. The puzzle itself and a disembodied fox head wearing sunglasses. The fuck am I tripping on?!

"The door leading through the area is closed?"

Dear God, it bounces as it talks and speaks with an upward inflection like valley speak! It hurts my brain. Good news, it has no clue what I am. Yay!

"So I tried the puzzle? But I kept running out of ammo, and it kept restarting?"

"...Bummer."

"And my two co-workers won't help? It's like they don't even wanna go to work?"

"Harsh."

"Why don't you try? Try using the console?"

I shrug and give this thing a little checking out. No real help from the fox so maybe the puzzle will tell me what to do. Oh, look! The convenient "?" icon is super tiny and hidden in the corner while also being somewhat the same color as the background. That's not a dick move, oh no, not in the slightest.

(Shoot the opposing ship!)

(Move the boxes to complete your mission.)

Okay, that's useful. Let's see...Four immovable blocks, two movable ones, and two open spaces. The immovable blocks are in each corner and the movable ones are in my way. And to top it all off, I get only two shots. Scoot the two away, shoot, and puzzle solved.

(CONGRATULATIONS!)

That's one done, another to go.

"Wow? You solved it? I'm impressed? You must be a total nerd?"

...Jackass.

Leaving the room has Flowey grabbing my wrist with a vine and tugging me to get moving.

"Bro, chill, what's wrong?"

"I heard them talking. They've been watching Mettaton's broadcast on their phones."

Yeah, that's our cue to skedaddle.

"Please use the vents this time."

I speed past him much to his chagrin.

"Screw...the...rules!"

I shout with each leap taken. I know deep down he wants to call me dumb and yet I'm kinda proud I'm able to forget about the incredibly high path we're treading that drops into freaking lava. He rejoins me as a non-moving cyan laser seemingly impedes my progress. However, it's waist level in height and nothing is stopping me from crawling underneath it.

"Wow."

"I know, right?"

Like on the right side, the left has the puzzle room and two monsters just hanging out on the cliff. These two monster girls are wearing what look like red and black Japanese school uniforms. The fuck? Not sure what's weirder, everyone's bravery by being that close to death or how the hell they got those clothes. Either way, one girl is purple with possible tentacle hair and has red eyes with black sclera, she is so clearly a tom-boy with her red back facing cap and skateboard. While the other girl is made up of lime green flame and gives off this way too innocent vibe for being here and with the bad-girl. Hotland does seem more and more to be Grillby's former home. How many more fire elementals live here?

"You think the laser has them stuck here?"

"Maybe. I know I wouldn't crawl on the floor with a skirt like that."

I enter the room and thankfully there's no head laying around that speaks in headache-inducing jabber. Let's see...Are the rules the same?

(Shoot the opposing ship!)

(Move the boxes to complete your mission.)

Yep. Same rules but different layout. Five immovable blocks, six movable ones, and five open spaces. The three immovable ones are in corners, one is above a corner, and the last is touching the corner of a corner block. And once more I get two shots. The movable blocks from a backward jacked letter C. This one is a bit more complex. The majority of the blocks move in one push. I have to try this a few times before I'm able to have it clear enough to shoot through one block and then the target.

(CONGRATULATIONS!)

If my calculations are correct, the door should be open now and further progress can be made. I leave the room and notice the laser is off. Flowey is also nowhere to be seen, probably due to the girls having moved from their original spot.

"Finally! Someone turned off that laser!"

Don't thank me, I'm just awesome.

"Now that we're free we can... Well, uh, I guess we'll just keep standing here."

"Hm? Nice try, but your loitering technique still needs work."

They chat with themselves. Great time to be invisible.

"Loitering around... What's the point?"

"Beats being in school. Why should we bother going to school, anyway...? What's the point in learning how to make a buncha puzzles? There's GOTTA be a way to cancel school."

"But isn't it summer vacation?"

"...Auuuugh! This world's got no future!"

A bit overly dramatic. Whatever. Back to business. I rush to make my final leap and almost trip on the pipework floor. Yeah...Not gonna be doing this jump thing anymore. Lost my nerve for it. Motion activates the door and it slides opens into the rock.

"Okay, Metta...Here I come."

Going through the door leads me to a small bit of land that turns to the right and three widely spaced vents in a row to reach the next...Is that kitchen linoleum? I can't be seeing that right.

"Seems like you have no choice this time."

Flowey appears.

"Can't at least hurl me across?"

He shakes his head.

"I can't support carrying you that far and I'm not risking you falling to death."

"Yeah, my luck as of late would be that level of crap."

I smack myself a few times to ready my timid nerves.

"Any words of wisdom before I do this?"

He thinks for a moment.

"Beware of chainsaws."

"What?!"

He sinks into the ground and I internally scream...Fuck my life!

Stepping onto the vent blocks the steam for a bit. The building pressure launches me from one vent to the next. By the time I reach solid ground I'm about ready to vomit my still-beating heart out.

"I hate heights!"

I'm gonna punch him. I swear, even if it breaks my hands, I will beat the shit out of Mettaton for this.

Still shaken I crawl my way into the next area. It's very weird. As if the linoleum wasn't odd, I'm now in what looks like a kitchen set. Oh...Oh god no...This can't mean...

"Don't tell me this is what I think it is."

As if on cue, low and behold, my metal master of moronic mayhem hovers down from the heavens wearing a chef's hat.

"OHHHH YES! WELCOME, DASTARDLIES, TO THE UNDERGROUND'S PREMIER COOKING SHOW!"

(Cooking with a Killer Robot)

"PRE-HEAT YOUR OVENS, BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A VERY SPECIAL RECIPE FOR YOU TODAY! WE'RE GOING TO BE MAKING...A CAKE! DEVIL'S FOOD CAKE TO BE EXACT."

Two of his hands stretch out and grab me, despite my pointless clawing at the floor, to present me to cameras I can't see.

"MY LOVELY ASSISTANT HERE WILL GATHER THE INGREDIENTS. EVERYONE GIVE THEM A BIG HAND!"

An applause sound effect goes off as well as confetti falls. I glare at myself.

"*mutter* You better have my stuff as promised or I will purposefully make sure your ratings bomb."

He pulls me in so only I hear him.

"*WHISPER* DO THAT AND YOU CAN KISS YOUR ITEMS GOODBYE."

I snort a huff and try to put on a smile. This seems to be what he wants.

"WE'LL NEED SUGAR, MILK, FLOUR, CHOCOLATE, AND EGGS. GO FOR IT, SWEETHEART!"

He's being overly flashy and fantastic. I should play along...but I'm too pissy and bitter. Plus calling me sweetheart irks me. You want a nice human? I'll be so sweet your blood sugar will spike!

"*giggles* Golly-gee. Thanks for having me on your show, Mr. Mettaton. Let's make the bestest best cake ever!"

This is stooping to new levels of pettiness that I might want to find a therapist for later. I'm pushing for a nearly unbelievable level of childish innocence as I scope the set and gather ingredients. All the while he watches every little skip and mean-spirited twirl I make before bring it all back to him a dopey smile.

"All done, Mr. Mettaton. This is going to be the most choco-lickity-yummiest cake in the universe!"

He puts two of his hands together and one on my head before sighing.

"DARLING...I LOVE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, I REALLY DO. BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE AUDIENCE, COULD YOU LOWER THE CUTE DOWN A BIT?"

I give the puppy dog eyes.

"Am I in trouble? Did I do something wrong?"

He flinches and without thinking he slams my head into the counter. I roar and cover my face, trying not to burst into a hurricane of swears while he goes about the show.

"PERFECT! GREAT JOB, BEAUTIFUL! WE'VE GOT ALL OF THE INGREDIENTS WE NEED TO BAKE THE CAKE! MILK... SUGAR... FLOUR... CHOCOLATE... EGGS..."

He gasps suddenly while I check if my nose is broken. Good news, it's not.

"OH MY! WAIT A MAGNIFICENT MOMENT! HOW COULD I FORGET! WE'RE MISSING THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT!"

I wipe a small bit of blood off my forehead.

"And what ingredient is that? This was everything you told me to get."

Some of my attitude is coming out but not too much.

"WHY, IT'S NOTHING WE HAVE TO GO SEARCHING FOR. YOU BROUGHT IT HERE WITH YOU."

I look at him funny until I see him pulling two chainsaws out from under the counter.

"A HUMAN SOUL!"

My heart sinks as he revs them up. Yet when he begins to do a slow methodical approach...My brain remembers to do one of my many pointless talents. Poking holes things with needless but true knowledge.

"Objection!"

The nerd in me is giddy for being able to make him pause with that.

"YES?"

I slap the counter.

"This recipe is bogus. What kind of cake calls for an ingredient that is so rare and priceless as a human soul? I submit my dumb argument, because I'm willing to admit the idiocy of saying this, that a human soul would serve a far greater purpose than being used for baked goods. Such as breaking the barrier. What say you, Metta? Do you have anything to back up your reasoning to use my soul in this cake?"

I wonder if Napsablook has an emulator on his PC? I want to play Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney now.

His screen blinks a little in thought. Before one of his arms leaves the murder weapon to go somewhere off set and return to put a can on the counter.

"...What is that?"

"THAT, MY DEAR, IS MTT-BRAND ALWAYS-CONVENIENT HUMAN-SOUL-FLAVOR-SUBSTITUTE! AVAILABLE AT ANY OF MY FINE RETAIL MARKETS! PROOF THAT THIS IS SOMETHING RATHER COMMON DOWN HERE AND THEREFORE, NOT A COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE IDEA AS TO WHY USE OF YOUR SOUL WOULD BE IN COOKING."

I stare dumbfounded at this can.

"This...This thing holds stuff that tastes like a human soul?"

He turns one chainsaw off and leans on it like a villain does with a cane.

"IT IS WHAT IT IS, DARLING. THE LABEL DOESN'T LIE. I SELL ONLY THE BEST. AND I GUARANTEE, IF YOU TRY IT, YOU'D NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE."

My mouth opens but nothing comes out. I put my hands together, hold them to my face, and ponder the meaning of life."

"Metta, my dude...This is some messed up stuff right here."

"HOW SO?"

I sigh through my nose and lose my ability to be subtle.

"You do know that souls can be used as sexual organs, right?"

He slips from his cool pose in shock.

"DARLING! CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY! THIS IS LIVE AND KIDS MIGHT BE WATCHING."

"Do not change the subject by insinuating children don't have the ability to understand. Kids are always learning and they find things out quicker than others give credit. Such as their body's and, because it's a monster's core, soul. You can not expect me to believe that knowledge of that caliber is unknown."

I grab the can harshly.

"Knowing that, the fact this can exists and as you claim is indistinguishable from the real deal, it insinuates that you or someone else on your staff knows what a human soul tastes like. Meaning...Someone has had oral sex with a human soul."

He falls over at my accusations. Chainsaws long forgotten. But I'm not done.

"Further more, this can opens a can of worms in its implications. Forgive my armature knowledge on the subject, but in the old myths above, there is no mention of monsters feeding on human souls. Such things usually are connected to demons. So this concept is either new to the Underground or you're making it up purely for this show!"

My head is swimming with weird thoughts and I'm unable to keep them to myself.

"Fearing that the humans would one day turn on monster kind and slaughter their people, absorb their few boss souls and become dominant over them, the monsters decided to launch a preemptive strike. That's what the old text said, but...If this feeding on souls it true..."

I glare at the can, not liking the thoughts it's making me get.

"Then humans had a reason to seal you away."

Those words are bitter and I spit them getting angry, squeezing the can with force.

"Tell me I'm wrong."

It crunches, metal splitting to cut into my hand before furiously throwing it at the fake window behind us.

"Tell me I'm wrong! Don't make me feel bad for humanity!"

I'm physically shaking. My rage tapering on the verge. It's not even towards anyone. How can it? What's in the past is there forever. But this...Don't tell me this is real and in the present.

"Please..."

I lick my hand, trying to focus on the sting and hint of copper to calm me down. Finally able to recover, Mettaton dusts himself off. Taking note of my behavior and picking his words carefully.

"WOW, DARLING. SUCH RAW EMOTION. THE PASSION. FEAR. ANGER. AND DESPERATION. IT'S PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!"

A low snarl from me reminds him that I'm in no mood for his fabulous side.

"BUT TO ANSWER YOUR RATHER INTERESTING QUERY...NO. IT'S NOT TRUE."

A small sensation of relief begins to hit me as he opens a compartment under his screen and pulls out a small advertisement poster.

"I FIGURED THIS IDEA WOULD WORK MAINLY BECAUSE..."

He lightly touches my face.

"YOU'RE SWEETER THAN ANY DESERT~."

With the whole 'about to kill me' and fucked up line of thought thing that happened seconds ago, his little flirt has no effect and I slap his hand away. He's taken by this yet keeps his composer.

"BUT I SEE NOW THAT WAS FOOLISH. USING YOU IN A SIMPLE COOKING SHOW WAS A MASSIVE UNDERESTIMATION. ESPECIALLY TO PROMOTE MY NEWEST PRODUCT."

He crumbs the add and tosses it away.

"BUT AFTER THAT SCENE, I CAN KISS THOSE SALES GOODBYE. IT WAS WORTH A SHOT THOUGH. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WORKS WITHOUT TAKING RISKS."

I am so done with all of this it ain't even funny.

"YET THIS WASN'T A TOTAL LOST. I LEARNED YOU HAVE A REAL TALENT."

I eye him cautiously, getting the bleeding to at last stop.

"CLEARLY A COURTROOM DRAMA IS PERFECT FOR YOU!"

I hate my luck.

"I NEED TO MAKE SOME CALLS! GET A SET MADE! OOOOOH! THE SCANDALOUS SCRIPT IDEAS I HAVE!"

"I think you're jumping the gun a bit early on this."

He puts a finger to my lips.

"NOT NOW, DARLING, I'M WORKING."

I gesture to where I assume a camera is that he's nuts.

[RING-RING]

His phone goes off.

"THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT! I'M ON AIR RIGHT NOW!"

Damn it. I can't hear the caller.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE WON'T MOVE?! YOU TELL HER..."

He's cut off.

"W-WHAT?! HOW MANY OF YOU ARE THERE LEFT? ...JUST YOU?! DAMN IT, BUGERPANTS, SO HELP ME IF THIS IS A PLOY TO GET OUT OF YOUR SHIFT..."

While he's distracted, I use this time to move the chainsaws away and out of sight. No need for them to come back into play.

"WAIT...SAY THAT LAST PART AGAIN. ARE YOU CERTAIN IT'S HIS POST?"

Post? What post? Who's post?

"*HUFF* FINE. RETURN TO YOUR POST. I'LL DEAL WITH THIS MYSELF."

He hangs up and is not too happy.

"*MUMBLE* DAMN SPIDER AND HER STUPID PET, KILLS MY MINIONS AND STILL DENIES MY BUSINESS DEALS!"

"You okay?"

My voice snaps him out of his thoughts and he calms down.

"UM...A CHANGE IN PLANS HAS COME UP. YES! DUE TO SOME SET ISSUES AND TIME CONSTRAINTS, OUR SHOW RUNS ON A STRICT SCHEDULE YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO PERSONALLY DROP YOU OFF AT THE NEXT LEG OF THE GAUNTLET."

Well, that sounds like a load of bullshit. But my dumb brain has to dumb brain.

"So what you're telling me is we're not even going to finish this segment by making the damn cake?"

He pulls me into an uncomfortable side embrace.

"I KNOW, IT'S HEARTBREAKING. BUT YOU SHOULD'VE MOVED FASTER AT THE START OF ALL THIS."

"I have a fear of heights!"

"NOW WE'LL JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH NOT KNOWING HOW GOOD THE CAKE COULD'VE BEEN."

"Don't ignore me."

"OR HOW MUCH MORE DELICIOUS IT COULD BE IF EATEN OFF MY BODY."

"The fuck did you say?!"

"BUT COME ON, DARLING, I'M ONLY MESSING WITH YOU AND OUR MALICIOUS VIEWERS. HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN A COOKING SHOW BEFORE? I ALREADY BAKED THE CAKE AHEAD OF TIME! SO FORGET IT! BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY OF IT!"

"Is the screaming in my ear necessary?"

"WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! RIGHT ABOUT NOW IS WHEN WE HAVE OUR COMMERCIAL BREAK! SO STAY TUNED TO THAT SCREEN AND CONTINUE WATCHING AS OUR DEAR DARLING DARES TO DART FORTH INTO DANGER ONCE MORE!"

"Can you at least tell me I don't have to do any more vent platforming?"

"SORRY, BUT I'D BE LYING IF I DID."

I start trying to swear but I end up roaring out in meek frustration.

"SEE YOU ALL AGAIN REAL SOON."

A few seconds go by and he lets me go.

"OKAY, WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME..."

He moves to the sink and opens the cabinets under it.

"WE HAD A DEAL. DESPITE THAT LITTLE SHOW YOU PUT ON, I AM IF ANYTHING A MONSTER OF MY WORD."

He tosses me a bag with his face on it. Taking the hint, I open it and find my missing gear. Though...no phone. I take this small victory without a fight. I'm fairly certain I know who has it anyway. That cat is so getting skinned. I equip my items and CHECK my stats.

[ HP: 40 ATK: 45 DEF: 27]

"Someday, I swear my defense will be decent, damn it!"

"ALL SET?"

I may look ridiculous with all this all but it's not like I was a supermodel before.

"Yeah, I'm good. Thank you."

"UM..."

"What?"

"I WANT TO APOLOGIZE."

I scoff.

"Forget it."

"NO. I...WHAT I DID WAS STUPID. I SKIMMED OVER THINGS AND WASN'T EXPECTING HOW YOU'D REACT. A GOOD SHOWMAN IS MORE PREPARED AND KNOWS HIS CAST BETTER. FOR THAT...I'M SORRY"

No matter the mood I might be in, I know how hard it is to swallow one's pride and admit a wrong. I just wish he wasn't such a flip-flopper because this personality switching is making it difficult to trust him fully.

"*sigh* ...I forgive you. But don't ever pull that kind of crap again. Got it? I like you monsters. I like being here. I don't want to feel bad for my kind and see THIS punishment as justified."

He nods, or what I take as the equivalent to one for a guy without a neck. With that now all said and done he once again snatches me into his arms and he blasts off like a rocket. Where to? No damn clue.

[HOTLAND: LAB]

"Well, that was disappointing. Freaky, but disappointing."

Undyne collects another bowel to enjoy.

"Not his best move. That's for sure. All that controversial fuss."

Alphys had cut the feed but was still viewing the robot and human.

"Yeah. He didn't even use those chainsaws. Such a wasted opportunity."

"Still, the way she interpreted all that from a simple can of spice...And that reaction..."

Theories were coming to Alphys.

"Definitely something to remember for future use."

Undyne takes a long slurp of ramen.

"It's a freak, Alphys. Plain and simple."

Alphys's companion's lack of imagination made her sneer.

"At least he's prolonging her activity. That provides data. And that's all that matters."

Undyne rolls her eye.

"Still...I wonder what that phone call was about?"

Alphys, being the one that sees all, knows the answer to that question. She just finds it more interesting to see if her hot fish friend can figure it out for herself. Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

[Snowdin: Skeleton House in present time]

They weren't sure what they just watched. Such a strange buildup and quickly smothered show. Sure this wasn't over but no one honestly thought that second showing was going to be over in about twelve minutes. Still...The lingering questions remained when the commercials played.

"This is nerve-wracking."

"I know. But at least there's some good news. He's moving her further. She'll be done faster."

"I suppose that is true."

"OR SHE'LL BE KILLED QUICKER."

Toriel and Grillby glare at Papyrus.

"WHAT? I'M BEING REALISTIC BY SAYING THE OPTION YOU'RE IGNORING."

The glares and fire strengthen.

Papyrus takes the hint and walks away. Maybe Sans had some sort of idea and won't want to beat the shit out of him as the others do.

"you need to work on your people skills, bro."

He growls but that's it.

"i got an idea as to what happened near the end."

"REALLY?"

"yeah. i think someone tipped him off about my post there."

"YOU SURE?"

"got no other clue as to why he'd move her himself and not let her walk."

"HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK HE'LL HAVE HER SKIP?"

"who's to say? i only know what i can see from my post. and it ain't much."

"WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY POSTS?"

"do ya know anybody else that can teleport?"

"...GOOD POINT."

"you sound underwhelmed."

"I DON'T KNOW...I JUST DON'T SEE IT. YOU WORKING THAT MUCH? IT'S WEIRD."

"if it makes it less weird, i sell hot dogs at those stations."

"THAT...THAT MAKES MORE SENSE."

The television flickers suddenly. The commercials end and the human is back onscreen. Her exact location is odd in that there doesn't seem to be a path to leave on. There's a signpost they can't read and random cacti. Among the positives, she is sporting her equipables again and thus have her stats boosted. On the negative side...she isn't there alone for very long.

#undertale #underfell #Anomaly #Lynsie #sans #papyrus #gaster #grillby #grandpa semi #mettaton #napstablook #chara #frisk #flowey #Asriel #asgore #toriel #undyne #alphys

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dianyuanyuxinwu · 3 years

Text

HANDMADE PROJECTOR WITH LOUDSPEAKER BY Dian Yuan and Yuxin Wu

Introduction

As the multimedia technology gain more and more wide use, people nowadays are stepping into a brand-new age -----multimedia age. Thank to multimedia, it enriches people’s spare-time life, providing plentiful activities for them to choose. At the same time, it also makes people increasingly connected with each other, narrowing the distance between them. For instance, going to a cinema to watch a movie with friends or family is a popular choice for people to spend their weekend. However, due to the coronavirus, most of the cinemas are shut down in every country, how can people still able to experience the excellent vibe and sound effect provided by the cinema? The best way definitely is to purchase a projector and create a home cinema. The outstanding experience offered by the projector are shown on the bigger screen and more private space. However, the process of making a low-tech projector is not that easy, as most of the projector on the market can not only used for projection, but also possesses excellent sound effect. Furthermore, the image quality is really essential for a projector. If the projector is not brought into focus, the image will not be clear. Nevertheless, since the budget to create this projector is very limited, we can only try our best to use those limited resources to make one, making the best value.

Planning

An excellent sound effect is really significant for a great movie experience. Therefore, we want to add a device that can expand the sound effect while making a basic projector. First of all, how to make a basic projector? It is convenient and cheap to use the shoe box as the overall frame of the projector, and then we can use the focus and magnification effect of a magnifying glass to replace the projector lens. Also, the phone’s screen is used as the source of projection. To make the voice box, we want to apply the sonic vibration principle of paper cups to expand the sound effect.

Process of making

1. 1. Draw a circle on the side face of the box, and cut out with the box cutter.

2. Then stick the magnifying glass in

3. Fix the magnifying glass with the tape

4. Put the mobile phone on the phone holder

5. Put the phone with the holder into the box, and use other two small boxes to elevate the phone.

After that, we should make the loud-speaker

1. First, we need to prepare two paper cups. 2. Use a box cutter to cut off the bottom of the cup

3. Prepare a potato chip bucket and use a box cutter to cut off the top and bottom of the potato chip bucket.

4. Insert the two treated paper cups into the potato chip bucket with the top facing out

5. Secure paper cups and potato chip buckets with tape

6. To allow the phone to be combined with a loudspeaker, a hole is carved into the loudspeaker to hold the phone

7. Put the phone into the simple loudspeaker

8. Then, put the loudspeaker inserted with mobile phone into the box, the process of making this projector was finished.

The test result of the loudspeaker:

Click this to see the video:

https://youtu.be/uZZ4VSeLwkU

Materials list

1. shoe box (42cm*32cm*25cm) 2. magnifying lens (Diameter 7cm) 3. mobile phone holder 4. mobile phone 5. paper cup 6. chip canister 7. packaging tape 8. scissor 9. mark-pen 10. sticker 11. tiny colored light

The problem we encountered when making loudspeaker

Problem 1: The first loudspeaker we made cannot actually amplify the sound. The first loudspeaker we made is as followed: To make our first loudspeaker, we draw a few circles on the cover of the box according to the size of the cups, and then cut if. After that, we remove the base of the cup and insert the cups into the box. However, we have tested the result of that. Unfortunately, the result is not ideal, and it even reduce the volume. In our opinion, the reason of why it did not work is because the loudspeaker we made (4 cups) is too far away from the sound source. Therefore, the sonic vibration principle of paper cups will not work as we think it would be. Furthermore, since we need to put the cover on the box, it even distracts the transmission of the sound.

How to improve it?

Since the result of the first loudspeaker we made is not ideal, we decide to change our plan and try to create another loudspeaker. According to our guesses for the failure of our first loudspeaker, we decide to make a new loudspeaker that can directly connected with the mobile phone. In this way, the sonic vibration principle of paper cups can be effectively used. To achieve this goal, we use the chip canister with no lid and base, and then put the mobile phone into a hole we cut on the chip canister. In order to avoid the distraction on the transmission of sound, we decide to remove the cover of the box, and cover it with a light fabric.

Problem 2:It is hard to combine the microphone with the whole projector:

Click this link to see the video: https://youtu.be/bc3s6ykCrXE

When we want to make a projector that amplifies sound, the first thing we need to do is combine the phone (our playback source) with the loudspeaker. Because we made simple speakers out of paper cups and potato chip buckets. The two speakers of the loudspeaker (paper cups) are very important. However, since almost all phones have a stereo at the bottom of the phone, if we want the perfect combination of phone and speaker, we need to hold the phone vertically. However, if the phone was placed vertically, it would only give half the picture when projecting so this is not going to work. At the same time, since the loudspeaker's body is round, how to fix it is also a big problem.

How to improve it?

To come up with a solution, we decided to make our own fixtures, which can help the loudspeaker combined perfectly with the phone, and the phone can be positioned horizontally.

First, we decided to use a box cutter to cut a hole in the potato chip bucket where we could put the phone. Then we put the side with the stereo into the hole. After that, in order not to affect the sound of the two speakers, we need to make the loudspeaker hover. At this point, we need to make a stand to hold the phone. We chose a box to raise the height of the phone and fixed the phone to the box. A simple fix is done. This step also eliminates the material of the cell phone stand (since the cell phone stand cannot be adjusted to a proper height)

Problem 3: Click this link to see our third problem

https://youtu.be/SihwFlmGWXo

Since the projector works best in the dark, we met some problems when we shot our test videos because of the darkness. First of all, in a dark environment, it is very difficult for our phone camera to focus on the screen, so after we set the magnifying glass and phone focus, sometimes the video will still be indistinct, which greatly affects our presentation effect. Why is it so hard to focus in the dark environment? This is because the camera will use a slower shutter speed (the shutter speed is how long the camera's shutter remains open while taking a picture) when the field light is too weak. The longer the shutter is open, the more light you will capture in your photo, so in low light conditions, the shutter will remain open for a longer time to capture enough light and detail in the image. At the same time, we found that the video was also easier to blur when switching frames. That’s because each time the video switched frames, the camera needed to refocus. Also, since we didn't use a stand to hold the camera up during filming, it made the focus more difficult.

How to improve it? 1. To avoid blurry shots, we have a mobile tripod that stays still while shooting, making it easier to focus on the screen

2. We have appropriately reduced the exposure of some camera programs

Guideline of how to use the projector (Our final result)

Click this to see the video: https://youtu.be/ztPvGtpA5ww

Sources: 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2d_8NY5MfY ( This link is our inspiration of making the projector)

2. https://photographylife.com/what-is-shutter-speed-in-photography#:~:text=Shutter%20speed%20is%20the%20length,how%20your%20images%20will%20appear. (This link is the explanation of the shutter speed)

The making of the loudspeaker are our own ideas.

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hocenimlatine · 4 years

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Invitation Only

Happy Thanksgiving! Here’s a chapter from my completed series Knight of the Night that I started as @sithlordintraining

KNIGHT OF THE NIGHT (Modern AU/Vigilante AU)

Matt Organa-Solo, a 21-year old psychology student at Academia: University of First Order. He was the only child of Senator Leia Organa-Solo and Retired Chief of Police Han Organa-Solo. It was a problematic community, but not as terrible as some other towns and colleges. But somehow, he always found himself always somehow saving one someone, literally. After a crazy night, will Matt dare venture to become the hero this place needs?

Matt the Technician x Black Reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The leaves crunched beneath the Doc Martens owned by Y/N and Matt. Matt turned to give her a soft smile, which was gifted with a joyful laugh. Over the past few weeks, the pair were growing closer; dare to say even dating. Of course, nothing was stated that this was true nor sealed with a kiss. But, it was their actions that made it all too clear. Matt was always meeting up with you, getting you food and drinks; and you were always making him happy, showing him new things and places, and just being super cute, the both of them. The cafe’s bell rung out as Matt held the door open for her. Sliding into the booth, Matt sat across from her and watched her remove her scarf. (Y/e/c) eyes sparkled at him. “Your nose is red.” Y/N smiled at him. “URGH!” He let out loud and dramatically dropped his head down. He heard the giggle escape your lips before hands threaded to his blond locks. His chocolate eyes peered over his gold rims as he sniffled. A pout fell on her glossed lips. Matt had a little cold and hadn’t really been able to hang out. Also, it could be because he didn’t wear the appropriate clothing as Kylo Ren. But, he couldn’t help it. You were a very outgoing girl and he had to ensure your safety even if you didn’t want it.

Midway through their meal, Matt noticed the shrug of her shoulders. “Why are you nervous?” He asked as her fork hit the plate. “Am not!” She chuckled. Two fingers pressed against tense shoulders, they fell down and Matt’s eyes crinkled as he saw your embarrassed face. “You know you can tell me anything.” He said holding your stare. You sat on your hands, focusing on keeping your shoulders still. “Are your parents coming back for Thanksgiving?” She asked. Matt shook his head no; “My dad is going to be in Panama with my Uncles, to celebrate their independence day; and my mom will probably be at some summit on the other side of the world.” He said unbothered and that bothered you. “Would you like to, possibly, come to Thanksgiving with my family?” Matt was taken aback. This was a big step in your relationship that wasn’t a relationship. “Yo-you don’t have to do that Y/N.” His fingers ran through his hair. “No Matt, I want you to come.” Your smile was so pressuring he didn’t want to disappoint you, but he didn’t want to feel like a burden and the Knights. “Y/N, I-I, I’m sorry I can’t impose like that.” He stammered. “You won’t!” Your hands wrapped around his larger one. “My parents always tell me I should invite more friends over and I can’t invite Phasma over because of Finn. And Rey is not allowed, that’s another story for another time; I hope this doesn’t seem like the process of elimination because I really want you there with me.” Biting your lip, your eyes were focused on him. “I’ll try and make it.” He fixed his glasses and that answer seemed to satisfy you. He knew Nassar had a family and would want to go away even if he didn’t say anything; Olcan was getting better, but he couldn’t leave him alone. So maybe, it was time to recruit more Knights.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In less than 24 hours that the Knights of Ren had posted about “Looking for the next Knight”, it became America’s Next Crime Fighter. From videos, pictures, resumes, fanfictions, and essays pertaining to why they should be the next Knight. It was absolutely ridiculous! Matt knew he should entrust the help of his others but to be perfectly honest they were strangers with good intentions, but he felt more comfortable choosing because he was the one who initiated this. Not to mention the one candidate who caught him by surprise. The position was chosen: A young jokester from the South, who Matt had seen plenty of times. He was a nice kid that was misunderstood; on scholarship, an orphan with a good heart who was, sadly, still teased for his southern twang and dreary clothes. But that never seemed to break his merry spirits, although sometimes his anger would get the best of him. Matt understood this and was quick to take him under his wing, fitting very well into the Knights and gaining the name Lorcan Ren. Things were looking pretty well, Matt had definitely RSVP’d to the family dinner.

He had agreed to come to Thanksgiving, that had Y/N just bursting at the seams. It might’ve been fall, but your smile made each day warmer, or that could’ve been global warming. And seeing your smile just made him happy, the happiest he has ever been in probably like ever! But there was still a little problem that followed him. As Kylo, there was this one pest that continued to bother the Knights even after the fact they’ve been denied an invitation to the knights. It was late and the bass could be felt all around Phasma; it was hot, people were sticking to each other and she had to pee. Stumbling in her 5-inch heels, she made her way to the ladies room only to see a line. She rolled her eyes and made her way to the back exit. She propped the door open to gain access from the empty alleyway, or so she thought. “Aye, pretty girl!” A voice made Phasma jumped. She sucked her teeth as she felt the warm liquid slide down her knee. Turning, two slightly shorter guys began to approach her with a sinister smile. “Why are you out here alone?” One of the guys asked. Her face twisted up: “What?” The two boys laughed and began saying something in a different language. Rolling her eyes she started to make her way back to the club before one of them grabbed her. She brushed him off, just to have the two them grab her. With ice-cold blue eyes, she stared at them.

Kylo drove down the dark alleyway to see two men attacking a woman. He hopped off the bike and snuck behind one of the men, twisting his arm and shoving him on the wall. “What type of man are you?” The vocoder vibrated against the man’s ear. “No, no, no,” The man pleaded. “You got the wron-AHH!” He yelled as he was thrown to the ground. He turned to see the other man in a headlock. “No we called you, we need help she’s trying to kill us!” He squealed as the blonde held him tighter. “He made me pee myself!” Her words slurred a little. Though the mask, Matt watched as Phasma completely destroyed the other guy. Phasma let the unconscious man fall to the ground as her chest heaved. The masked man just stared at the woman. “Now are you going to let me be a Knight?” She asked. “N-No, I cannot.” Matt couldn’t put Phasma in harm, not just because of Phasma, but he could only imagine what Hux would do to him if he found out that he was putting her in danger. “Is this because I’m a fucking girl?” Her accent was thick. “Because if so that’s complete bullshit! Before you came, I was taking them both down, with fucking heels that hurt like a cunt!” Phasma continued her rant and he knew there was no winning with that. “Fine.” Phasma almost missed the approval due to the static of the mask. Her red drunk face lit up: “Really?” She began to make her way to hug the Knight, who was taken aback. Phasma wasn’t a hugger and honestly, this was probably the first time she was hugging him. “You won’t be a Knight, but I have something for you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Captain; that’s what he called Phasma. Gave her a silver helmet to find her at any given moment. She was quite aggressive, so he let her run practice along with Nassar. They instantly clicked maybe because they both came from military families and knew how everything ran. Matt thought it would be great to send her out to the women who contacted them; he thought she would kill him for typecasting her but she enjoyed being a “feminist hero” while not dressing like Wonder Woman, yet still being shiny. A laugh rumbled through Matt’s chest as he thought about it as he waited outside the door to your family’s home. The door opened to show two identical boys looking at him; Matt blinked behind his glasses not knowing what to say. “Uh...Hi, I’m Matt, I’m a,” He cleared his throat. “Y/N’s friend.” The boys’ face lit up. “Ohhhh! Okay, come in, man.” They pulled him in. The scent of food filled his nostrils and music mixed with the voices of children hit his ears. It was just an environment that he had never been in. He was the only child in his entire family; the only companion he ever had was a brown Tibetan Mastiff named Chewbacca, but even that gift for him chose to side with his father. Matt walked into the room, feeling all out of place in the warm-hearted house. “Hey, man!” The familiar voice pulled him out of his daze. He turned to see Finn and four other guys approach him. “This is Matt.” Finn nodded towards him and the three behind him expression changed quickly. Before he could actually read all of them, his name was being called. “MATT!” Your cheery voice alerted them all as you descended the stairs.

He couldn’t help but admire how beautiful you looked. You always looked beautiful, but he guessed being in a comfortable environment. He thought it was his mind making you move in slow motion, but he didn’t see you helping two little babies down the stairs. “Say hi to Matt!” You told the two toddlers, who opted to wave shyly and run away. “Hi Matt,” Y/N smiled up at him and the blush quickly took over his face. She then turned to the boys and gave them evil eyes. “You guys better have been nice to him.” To his surprise, they cowered back in fear. His lips tugged up but he did his best to keep it under wraps. “Um, I-I brought something.” He raised the black bag. “Oh okay, let’s take it to the kitchen.” Matt followed behind you like a lost puppy as he got some looks from your family members. “Mom, Dad, this is Matt,” He turned to see your parents and you were the perfect mix. “Another wh-,” Your dad whispered gaining a smack from your mom. “It’s lovely to have you, Matt. Is it short for Matthew?” Matt shook his head. “Matthias,” Matt nodded. “Aw, that’s nice and different.” Her mother smiled. “You brought something?” Y/N nudged him and he handed over the black bag. Your father was quick to take it and reveal the brown liquid. A nice smirk fell on his lips as he peered at the large bottle of Jack Daniels. His neck was red hoping your father wouldn’t be offended; this was the drink his Uncle Lando brought over all the time. “Good job, boy.” Your father chuckled calling over your Uncles and cousins over for a drink. A wave of relief hit him until you wrapped your fingers around his hand and introduced him to everyone.

Matt doesn’t know how he found himself surrounded by your brothers, cousins, and Finn. But there he was with a drink in hand listening to west coast rap. “Man, he goes to Berkeley and now he swears he from Cali.” One of your cousin jokes. Matt wasn’t really paying attention. He was too busy looking at all the pictures of you and your family, and pictures that stretched back generations. He took in how your cousins and brothers were all unique but got along so well. He also notices that you were practically the middle grandchild; all the boys were older than you, Finn is just three years older than you and then everyone younger than you were all girls, the oldest being 11. His brown eyes couldn’t help but follow you around as you interact with your family and he couldn’t stop his heart from beating faster. “Ay man,” Your brother nudged him out of his daze. “Come to the store with us.” It was more of a command than a question. Matt nodded getting up and following all the boys out the side door. “Hey!” They all froze from the sound of your voice. Even though you were the princess of your family and it was their job to protect you, he could tell they were very much scared of you. “Where are you going?” “To the store.” Her cousin quipped. But, her (y/e/c) eyes were on Matt. “Where are you going?” She inquired. “Um...I wa-was going to the stor-” He stammered before Finn slung an arm around him. “Relax Y/N, we’ll bring your boyfriend back in one piece.” He teased, leaving you quite embarrassed.

Every time a door opened, Y/N’s eyes would wander over, until eventually, the hoard of boys shuffled in. Matt followed behind them, but even with the glasses shielding his eyes, she could make out the glossy, pink orbs that matched his blush. He soon shuffled to the couch to sit next to you. “I didn’t know what going to the store meant.” He laughed into your shoulder, which gained a couple of laughs. “Well, now you know.” You told him. “Are we going to eat soon, I’m hungry.” He whispered. “Lucky for you, we had to wait for you guys to get back.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “Are you mad at me?” He asked and you shook your head no. A dopey smile fell on his lips. “You’re so sweet!” You chuckled and pulled him up from the couch. “Come on, let’s say grace.” Y/N made sure to be far from the other boys so they would be caught joking while Grandma said grace. Technically, Matt and she weren’t together, but she wanted him to make a good impression because hopefully, one day, she would or he would gain the confidence to actually define what their relationship was. Dinner was great, he surprisingly held his own and your Aunts liked that he had a large appetite, your big cousins and brothers strangely enjoyed him too, your little cousins thought he was nice because he played with them, your Uncles and Dad liked him because he knew how to play spades (thanks to Uncle Lando!), and your mom just thought: “He’s the one!” You really DID NOT want to hear that, because you really didn’t want to admit to anyone, even yourself that you felt something really strong for him. But, you would try to keep your mother’s intuition in the back of her head.

Matt stood outside checking the status of the Knights and the General, he chuckled at the name. So far everything was good and there were no messages. The door slid open causing him to turn around and see you. “Hi,” You whispered. “Hi,” He smiled. You walked over to him on the deck. “Did you have a good time?” Y/N asked. “Good? Y/N this was the best Thanksgiving I ever had.” He did the boyish smile that made your heart flutter and you were giddy. “I’m glad it was Matthias.” You cooed. “Hey, my mom was very religious when she was pregnant with me!” He raised his hands up. You laughed: “No, no, I like it it’s cute and different, not basic like Matthew.” You smiled up at him. Silence filled the space between them as the voice of Whitney Houston faintly played in the background. “I’m really glad you invited me.” Matt smiled. “Anytime,” You looked down quickly so he couldn’t see your blushing smile. Matt turned to see your family so entertained in whatever was going in the living room and he realized this is the first time the pair was alone. He placed his right hand on your waist, causing you to jump. “Um...sor- do you want to dance?” A blush was spreading from the tip of his nose to the back of his neck. “Yes,” You whispered at placed your hand in his and began to sway. Your mother was telling off your father about something when she stopped: “Look!” She pointed at the two kids dancing alone at the deck. “Uh-uh.” Your father shook his head and your mother hit him, before smiling at the sight of her happy daughter.

#Happy Thanksgiving #star wars #star wars poc #matt the radar technician #kylo ren x reader #kylo x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren x oc #kylo x you #black reader #kylo x black reader #kylo ren x black reader #modern au

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jj-lynn21 · 4 years

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Snow in Hollywood Chapter 4

@tephi101 @sweet-teekorbs One more chapter after this. Warnings: Teasing, Wicked Queen, poison, crying. If you know Snow White you always knew where this was going.

Chapter 4

You get to sleep in which makes you wake up in a great mood. You put your hair in a ponytail, though on jean shorts and a yellow and red stripped tank top, and just a little foundation. You know later you will be getting your make-up done by a professional so no need to overdo. Everyone is sitting at the breakfast table when you come out. You sit down.

You say, “Good morning everyone.”

In unison they say, “Good morning princess.”

You grab some dry toast to eat. You don’t want your dress to be uncomfortable and that pasta last night was filling. You don’t plan to eat much before you go to pick up your dress.

Your say, “so what’s everyone up to today?”

Sam says, “I’m off to the hospital to make rounds after breakfast.”

Gustaf say, “I have to be on set soon. I hope I make it on time. I probably will.”

Laughing Alex says, “I got rugrat duty today.”

Ossian says, “I get to play jungle gym on Alex.”

Kolbjorn is passed out with cheerios stuck to him. This seems to be his morning routine. Valter shrugs.You look to Bill.

Bill says, “I have an audition in two hours. I’ll be leaving after breakfast. But I’ll be back in plenty of time for us to go to the Shoppe to get ready for the Ball Princess.”

You say, “Good luck. What’s the audition for if you are allowed to say anything?”

Bill says, “It’s a romantic lead in comedy. Its really different for me but I’d like to try it. “

You say, “I think you would make a great romantic lead.”

A few of the guys almost choke on their breakfast holding back laughter.

Bill says, “Thank you Princess.”

When he gets up, he kisses your cheek before going to get ready for his audition. You blush a little as his brothers stare. Sam and Gustaf get up to go get ready for work next. You start clearing the dishes. Alex gets the kids cleaned up as you finish clearing the table and start dishes. The kids play in the living room while Alex helps you with the dishes as he hums the clean up song. You laugh and hum along to the tune. He starts singing in Swedish and you try your best to sing along. You and Alex play with the little ones the rest of the morning into the afternoon. You laugh so hard when he lets them use him as a jungle gym. Valter stays in his room playing video games mostly, His girlfriend come over to join him and leaves after about two hours.

Regina sits tapping her fingernails on the table as your father reads a mechanics magazine. She is bored and wants him to find her some entertainment or take her out, but he is content being at home in his comfortable chair.

Regina says, “Can’t you do anything to entertain me today? I’m going to die of boredom.”

He says, “I never heard of anyone really dying of boredom. Why don’t you turn on the television? Maybe we can find something to watch together and snuggle.”

She rolls her eyes but flips on the television. Flipping through channels she stops at an entertainment gossip program. Along with a picture of Bill kissing your hand as he helps you out of the car the reporter explains what he saw.

The reporter says, “It seems Bill Skarsguard is dating a porcelain skinned beauty with dark black hair and ruby lips. They were probably heading in to get fitted in their attire for the Ball tonight at The Club.”

There are Flames in Regina’s eyes. The huntsman didn’t really do the job he was paid for. That is why he decided not to take her money and there was something a little different in those blue eyes he brought her back. She packed a bag and came downstairs.

Regina said, “I have to check on someone. I’ll be back in a day or two.”

He said, “Anyone I know?”

As she left, she said, “No one you remember.”

Bill gets home from his Audition. Kolbjorn is asleep on your lap and Ossian is playing cars on the floor with Alex as Dead Pool 2 plays on the television.

Bill says, “I have a limo picking us up in ten minutes Princess. I hope that’s ok?”

Smiling you say, “That’s fine Bill.”

Bill says, “So they made you watch this movie I was in like two minutes?

Ossian says, “I prayed really hard you didn’t die this time, but that truck just ate you all up like a big monster.”

Chuckling Bill says, “Maybe next time big guy.”

You say, “I’ve seen it.”

Bill says, “Oh, you have?”

You say, “Its not like I lived under a rock before I got here. I was aware of the work of you, Alex, Gustaf and Valter.”

Bill says, “You just don’t act like the type of girls that know our work.”

You get up to carry Kolbjorn to his bed, so you can freshen up before leaving.

You say, “You should know by now I’m nothing like the type of girls you have ever known.”

Alex chuckles. Bill stands there mystified for a moment. He freshens up after you.

Bill says, “Put a light hoodie on. Its been on the entertainment news I have a new girl so the paparazzi will be crazy. I don’t want your stepmother seeing you on TV. My Dad would kill me.”

You go grab a hoodie. Then the two of you head out to get in the limo. You are hoping for some alone time but that’s not on the agenda. A reporter is waiting in the limo to chat with Bill about up coming movies. He tries to ask Bill about you, but Bill reminds him that he likes to keep his personal life personal so if he ever wants another interview, he will let it go. You sit back quietly and listen. When you get to The Shoppe, the driver opens the door. Bill gets out first and the flashes from cameras start to go off. You put your hoodie up as he helps you out of the limo. Several other big guy swarm around the two of you to shield you from photographers. You finally make it inside where everyone is happy to see you.

You are separated from Bill, but you completely trust these people. The windows are made so you can see the paparazzi waiting outside for you and Bill, but they can’t see you. The make-up artist takes you first.

He says, “Would you like anything to drink. After we do your lips, they need to set for five minutes before you drink anything so I would recommend you drink now.”

You say, “I will take a fuji water, please.”

He snaps his fingers and you have what you asked for in seconds. He does your make-up a little heavier than before for an evening look. Your eyes are smokey. Your lips are painted redder. Your cheeks are perfectly rosy. Then you are taken over to get your hair done. After taking it down and playing with it for a minute or two the hairdresser uses a curling iron to add ringlets around your face and layers of bigger curls throughout the rest of your hair.

Your Fairy Godmother comes to get you. He is elated by the way you look already.

Your Fairy Godmother says, “You are a beautiful Princess, but after tonight you are going to be on your way to Queen status.”

You just smile as he leading you to the dressing area. His assistants help you put on your dress and shoes.

Your fairy Godmother says, “Show us a little spin Princess.” You spin for the room of people. They clap. He says, “Oh, you are fabulous. I have some ruby earrings and a necklace for you also and of course that mask. It’s the most important thing for the Masquerade Ball.”

His assistants put the jewelry and mask on you. He has you get back up on the small stage and do another little spin. When your eyes focus after spinning you see Bill standing not so far away in a scrumptious dark blue suit with a red mask that you’re not sure if it’s scary or superhot. He licks his lips as he walks over to you.

Whispering the Fairy Godmother says, “I wouldn’t blame you if you just attacked that man in the limo.” You blush as Bill takes your hand. The Fairy Godmother says, “How did I do on this last-minute magic Billy?”

Bill says, “You did awesome. I knew you would come through for me.”

The two of you walk out to the limo. You don’t need to hide from all the paparazzi since you have a mask on now. Still large guys surround the both of you until you get in the limo. You take a breath. Of course, another reporter is in the limo to talk to Bill. He let’s her take a picture of you both since you are both masked. You Get to the event. Bill helps you out of the limo. There are nonstop pictures being taken. You stand to the side for a moment before he grabs your hand and pulls you to him for some couple pictures. They are screaming questions.

Whispering in your ear Bill says, “We don’t have to say anything. Just let them take their pictures.”

You nod and smile. It is a lot more nerve raking than you ever expected. Finally, the two of you get inside. You are thankful Its quieter. A waiter with champagne walks over to you and Bill. You both take a flute to sip. Bill keeps holding your hand as he chats with several people. You talk to wives, girlfriends, boyfriends and possible some people for hire. Mostly everyone is very fascinating or at least pretends to be.

Some slow dance music starts. Serval people start dancing so Bill spins you on to the floor. Your dress twirls perfectly. A few people just watch the dancing. It might be your imagination, but their eyes seem to be on you and Bill. He pulls you close. His hands rest just above your ass. One of your hands rest on his chest as the other strokes the back of his neck softly. You look in each other’s eyes.

Bill says, “Just look at me. You are doing just fine.”

You see some flashing lights as pictures are taken. He rubs your back. You are practically on fire for him. You feel he feels the same. When the photos stop, Bill pulls you off the floor. The two of you are practically running to find a dark corner. He holds you against a wall with his body as you feel his hands sliding up your legs. He kisses your neck and you let out a soft moan.

Whispering in your ear he says, “I want you so bad Princess. Can I be your Prince?”

Breathless you say, “Yes.”

His fingers are looped in your panties sliding them down. You undo his belt.

Some people can be heard coming around the corner. He slides your panties back on. They come around the corner. His palm of his hand is on the wall pushing his body away from you and you are both breathing heavily.

One of the guys in the group says, “Hey, Bill.”

He nods to the guy. They pass. He looks at you as he does his belt back up.

Bill says, “I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for us to be together any long. No more reporters in the limo when we leave. I can have the driver drive around a few hours.”

You say, “Yeah that sounds good.”

Bill says, “Take deep breath. I just have to say goodbye to few people, and we will get the privacy we deserve.”

You nod in agreement. All you think about is finally kissing him as the two of you make your way out to the crowd again. He is saying goodbye. You smile and do what you believe is expected of you trying to keep your cool. Everyone has masks on of course even those delivering drinks. One lady in a very ugly hags mask bring you a cocktail.

She says, “Have this apple martini Princess. You will really enjoy it I promise. Doesn’t it look delicious.”

You say, “Thank you.”

You drink the cocktail. Bill catches you as you start to fall to the floor. People scream. Regina takes off her hags mask as she exits through the kitchen with a satisfied look on her face.

Screaming someone says, “She’s dead!”

Bill checks your pulse. Its weak but he can still feel it. He picks you up.

Screaming Bill says, “She’s not dead. Just open the door and cover us from the cameras. My brother is a Doctor. He will be able to help her.”

As a show a true solidarity most of the people there make a circle around Bill as he carries you out. The limo driver has the door open. He gets in quickly and starts driving.

The driver says, “Are we going to the hospital Sir.?”

Bill says, “No, just take us home.”

The Driver says, “As you wish.”

Bill calls Sam to meet the two of you at the house.

Bill says, “I have no idea what happened Sam. We were on our way out and she just passed out. Yes, she had a drink in her hand but we only had two drinks, maybe three for her.”

He hangs up as the limo pulls up to the house. Sam was on the phone with Alex when Alex rushed out and opened the door before the driver could. Bill was already crying not knowing what happened to you and blaming himself for not paying more attention to your surroundings. Alex pulled you out of the car and carried you into the house. Bill got out and followed him. His head was down, and tears were still streaming. Sam pulled in as the limo was pulling out. He ran inside.

He said, “where is she?”

Sitting with the young boys on the couch Gustaf points down the Hall. Alex had put you in Bill’s bed since it was larger than the guest bed and Bill insisted. Sam goes over with his medical bag. He checks your pulse first. He then gets out his stethoscope to check your heart rate and pulse points. Bill and Alex stand a few steps behind Sam watching. Bill’s eyes are red and blood shot. Alex has his hand on Bills shoulder trying to comfort him.

Sam says, “I’ll get some blood work to see if I can find anything. She seems to just be sleeping deeply. If she doesn’t wake up when I get back in the morning, I’ll start an IV.”

When Sam finishes his assessment, Bill pulls a chair over to sit at your bedside. He starts to cry again as he takes your hand and kisses it softly. Sam closes the door when he leaves with Alex. They head into the livingroom.

Ossian says, “Is the Princess ok? Why is bigger brother crying?”

Sam says, “She’s just sleeping Ossian. Bill is tired to. They had a big date night, so they are both really sleepy. Don’t you cry when you are sleepy sometimes?”

Ossian, “When I was littler I did.”

Sam says, “Well, Kolbjorn is already asleep so I think its your bedtime also. Gustaf always lets you stay up late.”

Ossian says, “Cause he is awesome.”

Gustaf Carries Kolbjorn to bed. Alex tosses Ossian over his shoulder to take him to bed. Ossian laugh. Its late so Ossian falls asleep while Alex is telling him a bedtime story. Valtar comes in from a date night. He sees Sam looking at the vile of blood.

Valter says, “What’s going on? Whose blood is that?”

Sam says, “Take a seat. I think we all need to talk about this.”

He sits down. Gustaf and Alex come out and sit down.

Gustaf says, “Dad is going to kill us.”

Valter says, “For what? I haven’t even been here for hours. Where’s Bill and Snow?”

Sam says, “We don’t know what is going on yet. All I know is she is sleeping deeply. By tomorrow she could just wake up and everything will be fine, but I can’t be sure of that. Bill is sitting with her Valter. She passed out while they were at the Ball, so he is devastated.”

Gustaf says, “We will call Dad when you get the blood work back if she doesn’t wake. Are we in agreement? I mean it Valter. No calling Dad.”

They all say, “We agree.”

#skarsgards #alex skarsgard #gustaf skarsgard #bill skasgård #valter skarsgård #snow white #fanfic #fairytale #reimagined fairy tale #snow in hollywood #red and the full moon #vee

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ghoultyrant · 5 years

Note

I've tried a few times to write Samus' pov before and I've had a lot of trouble. I feel like she is fairly inscrutable as characters go, being largely voiceless, and taciturn even when she does speak (not counting Other M). A lot of her dialogue is also removed from social interactions, being internal memos in scan logs. Idk. Maybe this is just me.

Samus as a character isn’t so much a cipher as an archaeological mystery.

The point of that comparison being that the Metroid series actually tends to tell a large fraction of its story through its environments, and does so quite well. Metroid II makes it clear that the endgame area is some manner of laboratory where the Metroids were apparently created, probably by the Chozo, but at some point control was lost. The laboratory is their nest because that’s where their existence as a species started, rather than the Metroid Queen selecting it as a good brooding ground for some other reason. Notably, the laboratory is unusually isolated and difficult to reach, even by Metroid II’s standards of travel distance, suggesting that the lab was deliberately cut off from the rest of the planet, and also probably explaining why the Metroid Queen didn’t wander off elsewhere to nest; she very possibly couldn’t.

In turn, this grounds a detail many players probably never questioned, but which is slightly odd on its own: that Metroids can apparently only grow into their Alpha and so on forms on SR388. As a consequence of natural evolution, this is certainly possible, but seems odd. But given that they’re clearly artificial, it’s easy to guess that the Chozo put that in as an artificial constraint; most likely the Chozo had plans for shipping them out to other worlds, and for some reason or another didn’t want them to change form once they were off the planet. (There’s a lot of plausible reasons for why they’d want this, but that’s a bit of a tangent)

Furthermore, this also grounds the Metroid Queen itself. Most players probably never question the fact that there’s literally only one Metroid Queen on an entire planet, because after all she’s the final boss. There’s obvious video game design reasons involved. But actually, it makes perfect sense in-universe: while fandom frequently assumes that any Metroid could potentially molt all the way to being a Metroid Queen, and that’s not an unreasonable assumption, it’s also entirely possible the Metroid Queen was one-of-a-kind because the Chozo carefully designed things so she’d be unique; that the Metroid Queen was built to be a Queen from the ground up, and is not supposed to be capable of producing more Queen-capable Metroids. That would be a logical thing to do to limit the damage in the event of a containment failure, and neatly explains why the planet has only one Metroid Queen even though Metroids themselves are running rampant across the planet.

Speaking of the Chozo and environmental storytelling, the fact that we saw their statues on two different planets back in the original trilogy was already a strong indication that the Chozo were a spacefaring species. Metroid Prime using scan logs to spell it out was a confirmation of an already-likely-true thing, not a state of canon invented by that particular entry. Again, I imagine a lot of players never questioned it because there’s game design reasons that are obviously applicable (eg that Chozo statues are frequently used to mark Important Power-Ups), but it’s extremely good environmental storytelling.

Anyway, that’s just some bits from Metroid II. Aside Other M and let me be brutally honest Samus Returns (I enjoyed it, but it mostly doesn’t try to do environmental storytelling, and probably-accidentally heavily retcons things, with the Metroid Queen’s nest no longer being set deep inside a laboratory being the most blatant example), the Metroid series does this heavily and constantly. The player is expected, if they care about the story and the world it takes place in, to look at the details they can see and make inferences.

And if they don’t care about any of that, it’s not intruding on their experience: they can just play a fun little game with blasting aliens and whatever.

Looping this back to Samus, though: yeah, we mostly don’t get Samus’ voice, both in a literal sense and in the writing sense. What we get is a ton of secondary information hinting at the kind of person she is, supplemented with concrete facts (eg that she was substantially raised by the Chozo), and then are expected to draw inferences.

As one of the more obvious examples: the first two games implicitly establish that Samus has to have a high degree of confidence in her abilities, or if she doesn’t she’s got a literally suicidal streak. She twice accepts missions to travel alone, deep into hostile territory, with the interstellar bounty hunter equivalent of nothing but the clothes on her back. Metroid II’s manual tells us that some elite corps of soldiers was sent to SR388 and never heard from again, and this didn’t dissuade Samus from going in completely alone.

This strongly implies she earnestly believes she can do the job when a literal small army couldn’t even survive: it’s not just that the Egenoid Star Marines failed at the mission, it’s that they were so completely out of their depth that none of them were able to escape the planet to report their failure!

Important and related is that starting from Metroid Ii it’s very normal for Samus to unambiguously have the option of just turning around and leaving. Her ship is on-planet, she uses it to leave at the end of a given game, and nonetheless she sticks each given mission out. She doesn’t encounter Omega Metroids and go ‘no, this is too dangerous, I’m out’. She doesn’t rampage across half of Zebes in Super Metroid and give up in disgust when she fails to find the stolen Metroid reasonably quickly. She doesn’t report the Space Pirates on Tallon IV to the Federation and leave them to clean up that particular mess while she goes to get a drink. Echoes and Fusion are the only games that actually trap Samus on-site temporarily to justify her ongoing presence, and even then if you bother to visit and scan her ship regularly in Echoes you’ll discover it’s ready for liftoff well before it’s time for the endgame, while in Fusion it actually doesn’t take that long to get back access to the Main Deck and thus her ship.

A lot of games that place a player character alone and far from civilization are very careful to explain that the player character was stranded in this strange place, and implicitly or explicitly sets the player character’s goal as escape back to civilization. The implication is generally that these are people who would never willingly inflict such a situation on themselves, and if they ever accidentally found themselves in such a situation with the ability to back out, they’d take it in a heartbeat.

Samus, meanwhile, keeps ending up in these situations and sticking them out. She doesn’t mind being alone with her thoughts for long periods of time.

It’s worth mentioning that the Japanese version of the original Metroid tracked how long you’d played, only your hours of play were presented as how many days Samus had been on Zebes. If you treat this ratio as canonical to all future games, which are generally designed so a first-time player will beat them in 4-20 hours... yeah. Samus has repeatedly spent several days or weeks in a row far away from civilization, and is just fine with sticking those situations out, and even inflicting them fairly spontaneously on herself if she has a specific reason for doing so. (eg she goes to Tallon IV in pursuit of Ridley)

Now, since this is inference there’s a fundamental ambiguity here. I personally tend to interpret Samus as being someone who finds socializing with her fellow sentients to be a stressful experience, such that going out into the wild for a week is a form of decompression and relaxation, but this isn’t the only plausible interpretation, and honestly I probably go to that interpretation because I don’t cope well with that kind of social interaction, rather than it actually being a better interpretation. One could plausibly interpret Samus as someone who, say, is actually fairly intensely social and just rates (Insert mission objective here) as more important than her own personal comfort. (In this interpretation, it would be assumed she instead decompresses from her missions by partying with her must-exist-in-this-interpretation large circle of friends) That’s certainly an excellent justification for her chasing Ridley in Metroid Prime, for example, and if we ignore Other M entirely I can’t think of a Metroid game that could be said to contradict that particular interpretation. (And Other M doesn’t count because it contradicts literally every other game on so many levels; if one game doesn’t fit while the rest are consistent with each other, you toss that one game as an inconsistency)

(Well, actually, another reason I take my interpretation of Samus is that she was raised by Ascetic Space Bird Monks, but then again plenty of people rebel against their upbringing. It’s perfectly possible to say Intensely Social Samus was driven crazy by the Chozo expecting her to be an Ascetic Space Bird Monk But As A Tiny Human, and even suggest that she takes being Intensely Social even farther than she would’ve otherwise as pushback against that whole thing)

BUT

While there’s room for interpretation and murkiness on details, Samus across the games has a fairly clear sketch of a certain range of plausible personalities. This range is also further reduced if we actually, for example, acknowledge Samus’ monologues from Fusion, which make it clear Samus concerns herself with the big picture (Suggesting that she sticks out her missions at least in part because often The Fate Of The Galaxy hinges on them kind of thing), and also seems to indicate (Consistent with her observed behavior), that Samus isn’t someone inclined toward negotiation as a problem-solving mechanism -that is, she doesn’t even countenance the possibility of trying to talk the incoming Federation goons into not trying to weaponize the X, going straight to ‘I need to make sure it’s not possible for them to try’- and that she’s got a bit of a philosophical streak to her, of exactly the sort one might expect of someone raised by Ascetic Space Bird Monks.

But even without the Fusion monologues, it’s not actually that hard to dig up a coherent personality for Samus, consistent with what we see across most of the games and compelling in its own right. It just takes a mentality that, while unusual for most writing/reading, is completely consistent with how the Metroid series prefers to convey its stories.

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bonnie-and-cloud · 5 years

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Hi! First off I love your post . And your bunnies are adorbale . Do you have any tips on a person thinking of getting a bunny?

I don't know when this was sent @fulltoadpicklemuffin so sorry if this is late. I've also taken my time to give you a thoughtful, thorough reply

ALSO HEADS UP THAT I'M ON MOBILE WITH NO ACCESS TO A CUT SO I'M SORRY

So I did a full year of research before getting my girls. I was living on a college campus where animals were banned except for goldfish and other small tank animals, emotional support animals, and service animals. I was in an apartment so I had plenty of space for a rabbit or two but we also had a school policy where we could have a surprise inspection at any point in time. We weren't even allowed to have friends who had pets come into our spaces even to pick us up it was so strict. It was pretty strictly enforced too

I also wasn't working because my mother promised me that so long as I focused on my studies, I wouldn't have to get a job. She paid for textbooks, groceries, my phone, medical expenses including meds, and so on. She helped me get a car and did a lot of heavy lifting. Meaning that between that, being disabled, and the school policy it didn't make sense to even sneak a bun

Well, I only needed one class for my last semester meaning I lost campus housing eligibility so I'd have to pay the campus something stupid like two grand a month to stay there. We moved to a temporary apartment and didn't say anything but like they didn't do inspections like campus did so whatever

So that's part of why I did a whole year of research. I made triple sure to know their proper diet, switching foods, and so on. I was very careful about them playing only with Approved Bunny Toys and didn't even have a cage for either of them at first as they were in an 8x8 closet with limited access to roam our room. Between that and my research, I have plenty of advice and it'll be stuff you won't necessarily hear from other people

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU ADOPT FROM A BREEDER, SHOP AT A STORE, OR GET A RESCUE

At the end of the day, a bun got a home that otherwise might not have. And that's more important, to me at least, than other factors. I don't recommend getting a pet store bunno because they are horribly mistreated but you do you. I won't judge either way on that one. I got my girls directly from a reputable breeder

I do recommend different methods for different needs, ability, and whatnot. I had never owned a rabbit before so I had no idea what the baseline for bun behaviors were. I didn't know how destructive they were prone to be had they not been traumatized via abandonment or abuse or whatever. I had no idea the difference between a happy loaf versus a grumpy loaf. I didn't know a happy flop from a passive aggressive one and no amount of reading up on these things or YouTube videos was going to really show me unless I saw them with my own eyes

Not to mention, buns take a long time to get comfortable with you just in general. Bonnie and Cloud took almost two months before they were cool enough with me to cuddle me on my bed. I remember crying thinking they hated me with no idea they were bonding to me very quickly. It would have been even longer with a rescue and I might have sincerely thought I was a bad bun parent and given up on buns entirely

So, for new bun parents, I recommend getting from a reputable breeder two bun siblings of the same gender from the same litter like I did. Not only do you get a better baseline for behavior, you genuinely get to see a lot of things you wouldn't from other bonded pairs. Like these two fight over the same scrap of broccoli when there's a little pile beside them that either of them could choose from. They also play "pranks" on each other like sneaking up on each other, giving surprise boops, and running away. They make WAY more vocalizations than your average rabbit and can easily be mistaken for guinea pigs with their noises. Both in the type of vocalizations but also with how loud they can get. They act very similarly to human siblings

I say reputable breeder for obvious reasons. I contacted a breeder who was willing to promise me 4 week old buns which was a big fat no from me. There was no way they'd be completely weaned let alone emotionally ok with leaving their nest. When he said 4 weeks, I just hard blocked his number. Our breeder gave us ours at 6 or 8 weeks (I forget which) because they were ready. She even texted us saying they were ready to leave their parents earlier than she expected and gave us the option of waiting a couple more weeks to be double sure

So we could tell she knew her stuff and was reputable on top of her sending pictures of her setup and their pedigrees. She sent stuff shows care about too so it wasn't just x parent or whatever like she had genotypes back to their great grandparents which she herself had raised and had pedigrees for. We went ahead and got them early because I was so eager to meet them

My spouses and I have discussed adding two more to the mix but we're going to wait a bit. We're going to look into guinea pigs first and then if we still want two more bunnos, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. But, we'll almost definitely get from a reputable breeder again

As I've had my hip replaced, I can only handle creatures up to a certain weight. After my surgery, our roommate's cat jumped on my leg and opened my surgery wound. I won't get too graphic with it but it opened clear to my metal replacement and she wasn't even that large of a breed. Well, as far as my experience goes, the smallest buns get homes first because they're "cuter" due to their size. Holland lops go especially quickly because of how sweet and friendly they are. And I have needs

There are plenty of other bun parents who get all "well having a creature is a privilege not a right" about this and insist I shouldn't have a bun if I'm going to a breeder. These people can eat me. I have depression and meds and therapy only get you so far. Without these guys, I'd only leave my bed to use the bathroom or run errands. I know because that's where I was prior to them. I also can't have children so I need something to pour my love into or I'll hurt myself. I know that sounds weird or whatever but I shouldn't have to tell other bun owners, or anyone really, "without tiny fur children to love, cherish, protect, and provide for, I'll definitely kill myself" because like. None of their business

Not to mention, there's the question of bonding buns which takes time and a lot of effort. So even if we could get a couple rescue small buns, would they bond to the kids we have already. Rinse and repeat. Only one of us can drive so it's not like we have that much time available to bond either. It's faster, less stressful, and less time consuming for everybody involved to just adopt two babies from a reputable breeder

I say all my reasons why not to be all "breeder all the way!" because that's not where I'm coming from. I'm trying to illustrate why that might be a better option. Someone else may have to drive several hours out of the way to adopt and there is a perfectly good and cute bunno in need of a loving, happy home at a pet shop a street away. Whatever the case, so long as buns that exist get proper homes, I don't care. It's more important to me that buns aren't mistreated

ALL THAT SAID, time to move onto some quicker advice

Get a cage for each of your buns. We got those big ones that go for like 120 a piece or whatever at Petsmart. The big open trays with the wire sides and the side door. This gives them a comfy place to flop so they can nap in whatever hay you put. This will also keep them confined after they get fixed so you're not worrying about an expen or whatever else

THIS SHOULD NOT BE THEIR PRIMARY HOUSING. Now I understand if you can't free roam your buns. Not everyone has the space or living conditions. Frankly, we would put them in separate cages before bed, and release them when we woke up so they were in there 8ish hours. Mostly it was so they got some rest but also to keep them out of mischief while we slept. They turned into more of very large litter boxes over time and have only really functioned as cages post spay or when one (usually Cloud) was being destructive or bitchy and redirection and distraction weren't working so she needed a time out to calm down

Now that we've moved into half of a duplex with three whole separate rooms, an enormous front room, and so on, they're just very large litterboxes/hangout spaces. One will eventually be downstairs so they can be close to us while we do things and the other will be in our bedroom so they're shut with us at night. This is so they spend more time roaming during the day and don't get fat from being lazy babies

Now I won't Totally judge if anyone has an outdoor hutch so long as it's plenty of room and bunnos come in during extreme weather. It's not the safest but like I get it

GI stasis is going to happen. Don't freak out. Yes, it CAN kill bunnies but only if you're not doing what you should. We give ours 80% hay/wood sorrel/grass, 10ish greens/salad, 10ish pellets with a bit of wiggle room for treats. The wood sorrel (commonly called clover across the US) and grass are rare treats but they eat enough to basically replace their hay when they get it. Occasional treats are I'm eating strawberries and they get the tops or the ends of carrots when we're cooking dinner. Sometimes they get Legit pet store treats but these are rare

We see GI signs most often when they're shedding and it's because they're ingesting fur so their poop does the connected string thingy that's the first sign of GI stasis. We also have seen it every time after a move because they've been too stressed to eat enough hay so we up their pellets and greens during that time to compensate. The only other times were when we switched them from alfalfa as babies to Timothy as adults and when they were fixed

A good way to combat this is a product the Hook's Holland Lops lady recommends on her channel. They're digestive tablets made with papaya, ginger, pineapple, peppercorns, banana, and so on. It's all organic and one tablet contains a MINIMUM of 2% crude protein, 15% crude fiber, 0.5% crude fat. A tablet contains a MAXIMUM of 4% moisture, and 0.2 grams of fruit sugar. For mild cases, one tablet every day until they're in the clear is just fine but for a severe case, use one tablet per pound of bun body weight. This should be broken up from one feeding to throughout the day though so it doesn't screw up their systems

How I do it is twice a day because my babies are so small at 4ish lbs and 6ish lbs. They're actually 3.5 and 5.5 but it's easier to just say 4 and 6. I'll give Cloud 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening, and Bonnie 3 at both times. I've only had to do that after their spay. The worst their GI symptoms have ever been, they each needed one tablet twice a day. Now, if either were, say, 12 pounds. I'd split that into 3 tablets 4 times a day or 2 tablets 6 times a day

This has kept them from needing an emergency vet thus far. They've never had hard guts and their weird poops haven't ever lasted too terribly long either. Just keep an eye on how much they're drinking, how much hay they're eating, and so on

Bunnies shed WAAAAY more than you think and nobody can possibly prepare you for it. Literally, every time I go to comb or pluck or otherwise groom either of them, I end up with a pile of fur that is at LEAST as large as they are if not twice or three times as big. And I still have to groom their sides like I've only just cleared their backs

They shed so much that the poor babies were having sneezing fits. We checked their noses and no snuffles. So you'll need to vaccuum to try and keep that down. But like they will leave it on you worse than cats and they shed twice a year, roughly each spring and fall

LISTEN to your buns. Are they abnormally skittish around your new roommate? Keep an eye on that person the same way you would if your dog or cat were abnormally skittish. I promise you they aren't a good person. At the very least, they aren't very good for you and you shouldn't trust them around your buns. They don't want your new partner to pet them? Run the other way. Or at least remember it. My babies have let me know ahead of time when someone or some place is bad news

Not just this, they'll let you know when they're not happy. Whether that's their hay, their bedding, if the carpet feels weird. Listen to them. You'll be around after them but they only have you so make them as happy as you can

Bunnies are deceptively stupid. Now, I know some bun parents who are like "how dare you insult such majestic creatures" when like I ASSURE you, Karen, that Oreo there has nothing going on in his head beside "mmmm monch" when he sees your baseboards. Like they're definitely smarter when fixed because hormones aren't flooding their tiny brains but they're still super dumb and governed by instincts

That isn't to say they have absolutely nothing going on upstairs because that's a lie. They are smart enough to recognize routines and wake you up for stuff, bother you if something is upsetting them. They're about as intelligent as toddlers? If that makes any sense. Like toddlers aren't geniuses by any stretch of the imagination, they're still smart. Like they're tiny little dumbasses ruled by "am hunger so must eat" and so on. So if you act like you've got tiny toddlers with soft fur then you're pretty gold

Also, they like to watch TV. Cloud likes MLP and other animal cartoons like Looney Toons. Bonnie likes dramatic stuff with explosions and her favorite thing is YGO. So like :/ toddlers :/

Bunnies are more expensive than you think but they don't have to break the bank. Bunnies are the most expensive pet I've ever had but I've also only ever had dogs and roommates with cats. Hay can be pretty expensive, plus salad, treats, and that's just food. You also have to take into consideration litter boxes, damage costs, and so on

To cut down on hay, we buy a 75 lbs bale from Tractor Supply for about $15 that lasts quite a few months. Depending on how we use it, it can go as quickly as 3 months because they pee on it (which means mold flakes) or as long as over 6 if rationed appropriately in old pet shop hay bags. Then, we buy fresh stuff in season and take advantage of sales and coupons. Sometimes, we don't give a salad if finances are tight enough but they will always get hay and pellets. We also buy pellets in bulk for cheaper and bought a Brita pitcher for like 20 bucks or so so they get filtered water no matter how hard the water is for much cheaper than water bottles

Get a portable pen for hay like the one here. It helps contain mess a LOT. Like hay is gonna get everywhere, obviously, but if you do the bale like we do, it's super helpful and keeps the mess pretty well contained. On that note, I highly recommend a shop vac which the type of vaccuum wood shops, car repair places, and construction sites tend to use. I just linked an example so you know what you're looking for but get a hose that's at least 1.5 inches in diameter. Ours is close to 2 inches but you need the wide diameter so you can vacuum fur and hay without creating clog issues like a regular vaccuum. Capacity doesn't matter so much as hose size and ours cost us something like $60

Your buns will inevitably eat something they shouldn't. Depending on what it is and how much, your reaction should change. Your bun nosed their way into the trash and got the little chip crumbs at the bottom of a snack bag? Eh they'll be fine. If it's something that's dangerous like plastic or a poisonous food then you should contact your emergency vet. But Cloud has ABSOLUTELY snatched chips and bits of coke from a straw or two and we always have to fight her to stay away from our chips. I have a friend who has a bun who assaults her for pancakes. Like it's fine

Even after you have buns, keep researching. When it was stupid hot and I was worried, I looked up what to do to help keep them cool. When I was worried how much Bonnie was shedding, I asked my discord group. When I'm not sure about a food, I hit up Google

And I think that's it? At least that's all off the top of my head of stuff I wish I'd known going in regarding buns that I didn't see anyone else talking about. Feel free to hit me up with more specific questions!

#mod vann #asks #ask post #vannswers #bunnies #advice #bunny advice #links #long post #text heavy #suicide mention

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