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alwayssmiled · 2 years

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Today I decided to translate a slightly longer scene from my fanfic, in which Theon breaks down for the first time about sexuality, after what happened to him at Ramsay's. I'm very sorry if there are any translation errors here, but unfortunately English is not my mother tongue. Knowledge of the rest of the fiction is not necessary, but the relevant fact here is that Theon has a problem with compulsive washing, for which he happens to use a wire brush because he feels dirty all the time just like Reek. In this scene Theon and Lysandra have just arrived at Pyke and are bathing in the tub after their journey ^^

Words: 3569

Ship: Theon Greyjoy x oc

Type: sensual, lovely, erotic, sweet, more feelings, more love, break down sexual trauma

•YOU DESERVE FOR THE BEST OF EVERYTHING•

She looked at him from under her long, dark lashes, capturing his face in one of her hands.

- I wish you could look at yourself through my eyes. - she said, at which he smiled gently.

- I wonder who I would see in my place with them. With such beautiful eyes, do you see people more perfect than they really are?

Lys shook her head negatively. Instead of answering, she hugged him again, in sudden need of affection.

- I don't need to perfect you Theon. - She said after a long moment, snuggled tightly into his body.

- I don't know what I did to deserve you.

He kissed her forehead, his hand gently trailing along her waist. He realized how much he had missed Lys' sweet closeness all day. The warmth of her body, the shining gaze she used to grace only him with. The way she used to cuddle with him. So greedily, as if it would be the last pleasure she would have before she died. Not wanting to let her out of his embrace even for a moment.

- Will you bathe with me? - He heard the words from his own lips before he could censor his thoughts.

He saw the surprise on her face, which instantly turned into a kind, innocent smile. He had no way of knowing what she thought of the subject, and it bothered him a tad. He did not know if it was a good idea, but the need of closeness turned out to be stronger than common sense.

- Yhm," she murmured quietly, slipping the vest off his shoulders and then her fingers went to the buttons of the vamp right below his neck.

Lys occasionally undressed him, but usually only outerwear, but he never let her do it completely. He too, though he had undressed many ladies in the past, felt as if he was doing it for the first time in his life. His hands, though mutilated, deftly unfastened the hooks of her gown, gliding over the soft, cool skin beneath. Touching her was fascinating. He did it carefully and uncertainly, trying to remain neutral in all of this. In the twilight of the lamps, he couldn't see much detail that didn't escape him amidst the daylight. When he looked at Lys, it was a little annoying, but relating that fact to himself, he felt a little more confident because of it.

He was the first to strip her of her underwear. He analyzed every bit of the outline of her figure, subtly lit by the lamps. She was still very petite, though tall. And in Theon's eyes she suddenly seemed particularly delicate. So much so that she should be touched carefully like porcelain. That was how he handled her, too. He sank one hand into her hair, combing through it in slow motions, and drew the other toward him. He didn't like the way his body reacted to her closeness. He was beginning to feel more and more insecure, which was turning into a desire to withdraw. He trembled as she slid the last piece of clothing off him. Her fingers slid around his loins, and he felt extremely insecure at that moment. He didn't understand how he could have allowed himself to be naked in front of a woman when he was mutilated like this. He lowered his gaze, glad that Lys was shielding him with her own body. The contact with her skin was incredible. How pleasurable it was to feel her all over him. She clung to him with almost every millimeter, trembling softly, covered in goosebumps. He had no idea if it was caused by the cold or his touch, but Theon dared to guess that it might have been the latter, which on the one hand seemed to be arousing, but on the other it was unsettling.

- Let's get in that tub already. - He said calmly, breaking the tension. - I feel dirty. - He added, looking at the stool on which the servants had placed various oils, soap and clean towels.

- I will wash you. - she said into his ear, then giggled softly.

The water was still hot to the point of scalding, but it was pleasant in its own way. Especially in contrast to the coldness of the chamber. Lys sat down in front of him, her arms around his knees that were sticking out of the water.

-I must tell you something, Theon. - she announced with a look of innocence and sparkling eyes.

He smiled, though without knowing why the words troubled him. He wrinkled his eyebrows a bit in a questioning expression.

- What's that?

- Don't be mad at me, but... I blew your brush.

There was a silence, during which only the sea and the splash of the bath water could be heard.

- The wire one? - he made sure.

Lys nodded slowly and a suppressed smile appeared on her lips.

- Where did you dump it? - He asked in a suspiciously calm tone.

- 'Into the sea... But, Theon... No normal person washes themselves with a wire brush. I couldn't look at it. You were hurting yourself! - she was fighting back.

- How am I supposed to wash myself clean now? - he asked with barely audible reproach in his voice.

Under the water she found his hand, squeezing it gently.

- I said I would wash you. - She smiled apologetically. - Clean.

- You would have done better with a brush...

- 'Theon, please stop with the bloody brush... Are you tired of flaying?

She rolled her eyes in exasperation, and Theon giggled defensively at the mention of skinning.

- All right... - he agreed uncertainly. - But I'll wash you first. Also clean.

- Can you wash without a wire brush? - she asked with a sneer, causing him to splash water in her eyes.

He grabbed her so that she was forced to turn her back to him and then gently pulled her towards him.

- Come here to me you mouthy girl. - his voice trembled as his body reacted as before, moved by her proximity.

It was a strange and unsettling feeling to say the least. It was incomparable to anything else. Something similar often accompanied him when he held her in his arms in the evening before going to sleep. He would look at her and a desire would arise in his body, which would fade when he remembered that he was not a complete man, ready to please her as he should. Theoretically he could please her in many different ways, but she had shown no interest in that direction for a very long time. Subconsciously Theon was very afraid that someone, especially the bastard Bolton, could take advantage of her. The very thought of it caused him pain. They talked about many things, but never returned to what had taken place at the Dreadfort. It was easier for both of them.

At first Theon washed her hair and when he rubbed the fragrant oil into it he let Lys lean against him. He could feel her again, which made him a little dizzy. The blood was pulsing more and more intensely where his manhood should be and this time he couldn't stop it in any way.

- I think I can do without that brush. - He said into her ear, then kissed her a little lower.

His hands trembled as he spread the soap over her delicate skin. It was so soft and nice to the touch, which Lys responded to in a particularly lovely but also unmistakable way. He could feel her tense up, under his hands. She tilted her head back, resting it on his collarbone. He washed her carefully and thoroughly. He knew that in the meantime he was tenderly kissing her neck, not helping his control one bit. He couldn't do otherwise, though. He didn't want to stop kissing her, seeing how pleasurable it was for her. When one of his hands slid between her legs and she squealed softly, he was sure the avalanche had started. He realized there was no point in fighting it.

- I... would like to bathe you too. - Lys announced in a trembling voice, turning towards him.

She melted a large amount of soap on her hands, which she then began to rub into his already damp hair with careful movements of her trembling hands. She touched him conservatively, but still, when he felt her hands on him, it paralyzed him for a moment. He felt more confident when he was the one touching her.

- Am I doing something wrong? - she asked carefully, taking his face in her hands. - Please tell me if you are.

- N... no, honey. I'm the one with the problem.

- How can I help you overcome it?

- I don't know... - he replied. - Kiss me.

Lys pressed her lips to his lips placing a kiss on them as gentle as possible. He returned it a little more greedily. She didn't stop at one. She kissed him so relentlessly and everywhere she could, feeling his body give in to it demanding more.

Every touch, even the smallest, still remained innocent and safe. Kisses so subtle, yet fierce at the same time. In the past, Theon had already made love to girls who kissed like this. They were usually young and inexperienced. And in their innocent awkwardness so greedy and thirsty for pleasure.

- You see, Theon...- she spoke to him in a whisper, her hand spreading the soap over his body with incredible gentleness. - Am I not nicer to the touch than a wire brush? - her voice trembled as he responded with a quiet hiss, feeling Lys' hand on the inside of his thigh.

For the first time, Theon did not object. Like a blind man who, having lost his sight, sharpens his other senses, Theon's body became unmercifully sensitive to any kind of touch in that area. He could no longer defend himself. Not at a time like this. He needed her touch so desperately that if she had wanted to leave that tub at that moment, he would have begged her to stay. He couldn't suppress that desire, which was consuming Lys as much as it was consuming him.

- You are...," he answered her through clenched teeth.

Her breathing quickened. He felt its pleasant warmth on his skin. He kissed her lips, biting them gently. He moved his hand along the indentation of her waist, at the same time signaling for her to move even closer, so that there was hardly any space separating them anymore. Lys trembled under his touch, which suddenly seemed bolder and more forceful, while still remaining just as gentle. Her hands remained dangerously close, but this time he couldn't think of anything other than the pleasure coming from it. The reactions of her body were not helping his sanity. Every time his hands traveled over her skin, spreading the soap, she bit her lip, stifling a moan that could have been a plea for more. She submitted to his kisses, sweetly tilting her head back. Caution was as obvious an element in all of this as it was the one that most stimulated her senses.

Her hands slid over grotesque scars, over burned and peeled skin, but to Theon it was not uncomfortable. Most importantly, it no longer hurt. Not that it had ever hurt him with her, for Lys' touch had always been safe and pleasant. Theon remembered as if through a haze the moment when he was like one healing wound, and every action he performed caused him pain. Then she would come and simply hold his hand. Carefully and avoiding the wounds, she would run her fingers over it, and it was the only nice feeling his bruised body allowed him at the time.

Each of the scars broke Lys' heart, but not a single one made her feel like looking away. They were part of him. Her Theon, whom she loved regardless of everything else. And though he usually hid them so tightly under his clothes, he couldn't make them disappear, but to Lysandra it never mattered. There was no thing in the world that could make her stop looking at him through the lens of love.

She could feel them all under her fingers. The rough surface of the letters and the dark places where skin was slowly growing back welcomed her kisses as much as the smooth skin somewhere next to them. And he responded to them all in a way that she didn't want to interrupt for anything in the world. He closed his eyes, muffled every moan and sigh, sometimes even at her lips, which he parted with his own tongue.

- I love you Lys. - He spoke quietly to her, capturing her face with his hands. -I love you as I have never loved anyone before.

Her eyes sparkled, and in the faint light of a few candles, the pupils almost completely took over the blue color of the irises. She kissed him right on the lips and then somewhere below his jawline.

- It's just like me to you, Theon. -she answered directly into his ear. - I love the most in the whole world.

- I love you and you love me. - He said, and a smile appeared on his lips.

- And I want you, Theon. - she said softly into his mouth. - Very, very much. The most in the world.

As she spoke her voice trembled. Theon knew that feeling his hand slide down her hipbones, she couldn't have reacted any other way.

And he wanted her, and that overshadowed any inhibitions. They had reached a breaking point from which there was no turning back. It was no longer possible to hold back the overwhelming need they had at that moment for intimacy and the fulfillment that came from it.

It wasn't long before they were out of the tub and onto the bed. This part of the chamber was darkened, the lamps were out and the only source of light came through the window from the moon.

After coming out of the hot bath, they felt unpleasantly cold, but they protected themselves from it by entwining their bodies tightly to each other in the bedclothes.

As if by accident, her thigh rubbed against the mutilated spot where his manhood had once been.

He could already feel the blood rushing in there, but now he couldn't hold back a loud sigh of pleasure.

He didn't think much of it when his hand imperceptibly found its way between her legs, gently parting her thighs. Her body reacted instantly. Her back arched, her lips parted slightly.

- Theon...

She moaned softly and he kissed her on the lips. As he watched her yield to his touch, he couldn't forgive himself for denying her this for so many months.

At the same time, he could feel her cool fingers still oscillating around the spot between his legs, contrasting with his inflamed skin. He could feel it all over him. The tension that was taking away his senses. While he touched her more and more boldly, Lys still remained cautious. He knew she wanted to give him fulfillment, but she didn't want to hurt him in the process. He didn't want that himself either. He didn't want her to touch him. She could do it anywhere but there. But when she finally asked, he couldn't refuse her in any way.

After all, she loved him, and he loved her and placed boundless trust in her. Her touch was always safe, and she craved it as no one had ever craved it. She kissed him and he kissed her, but when he felt her hand there he froze, biting his lip.

He hadn't known a similar feeling before, where pleasure was so easily combined with humiliation, but it was... remarkably pleasant. So pleasurable, in fact, that his body almost absorbed every, even the slightest touch of her fingers.

- Hey, easy, my love... - she whispered to him. - I just want you to feel good...

The expression on her face was dreamy, her voice still trembling, which was probably caused by what he was doing to her with his fingers.

- It feels good to me... - he said in a whisper that turned into a quiet moan.

Theon wouldn't be able to fool her. His body spoke for itself. Soon it relaxed, allowing him to respond as he desired. He intertwined his free hand with Lys's palm, occasionally squeezing it a little too tightly.

- I love you, Theon. - She whispered into his ear, biting it gently, which sent a nice, even more exciting shiver through him.

- I love you too. - He replied in one breath, between the kisses he lavished on her neck. - I love so much...

Everything about her was so damn sweet. Every moan, every tense of her body, as well as the warmth beating from it, the moist lips on his skin... And most of all, what she was doing to him with her hands. At times it seemed to him that he couldn't stand the feeling any longer. He couldn't get used to it, but at the same time, he didn't want anything more. His body could no longer fight the pleasure he was giving in to, melting under her touch.

He could see that Lys was close. She closed her eyes, parted her lips, which his own tongue greedily traced around. She arched her back with a quiet moan, while he felt the spasms on his fingers digging into her testifying that she was just reaching fulfillment. He did not stop the caress and continued to move them gently and steadily, allowing his lover to enjoy the pleasure of his touch for as long as possible. It was an experience so wonderful that a smile came to his face as he looked at her. With the sweetest voice in the world, Lys kept repeating his name and many other phrases that disappeared somewhere in between their rapid, greedy breaths.

-My... The most wonderful...

Under the influence of the pleasure, her touch became different as well... Or maybe it was the whole situation that influenced him so that he completely lost control. Not a fraction of a second passed and he felt that he could not stand it any longer. He felt as if a fire was circulating inside him, which accumulated somewhere in the area of his lower abdomen, and he could not hold it any longer. It was as pleasant as it was embarrassing. Theon hid his head in Lys's arms, most simply seeking the support of her closeness the moment he was finally about to cross that line... Once he knew he was about to, his hand reacted involuntarily, trying to knock Lys's hand away, but they both knew it was only passive resistance.

- Theon please...just a little more. - she spoke to him quietly and with emotion. - Please, my love please let me please you, let me please you...

He couldn't refuse her. He couldn't resist the way she was asking him. If not for himself then at least for her. Theon let go, and it wasn't long before he felt a wave of delightful warmth and fulfillment spread through his body. Something jerked him so that he was forced to bend in a short spasm, and a loud hiss escaped his lips. He came, coating her hand with semen, which she played with for a second in fascination, spreading it between her fingers, before carelessly wiping it off with her handkerchief. When she wiped it off it was also pleasurable, though he himself at that moment didn't know whether he should rejoice or cry. He bestowed a smile on Lys, in response to the one she too sent his way. He laughed, with joy and relief, but at the same time somewhat hysterically.

-Smile... - Lys giggled.

She touched his face tenderly and then kissed him on the lips extremely gently. He returned the kiss, feeling that everything in him was already beginning to tremble.

Before Lys could tear her lips away from his, the first tears flowed. This was too much for Theon. All these feelings overwhelmed him so much that he felt helpless against them. It felt so good, so pleasurable... And above all, his woman proved to him that it was still possible to satisfy him, and most importantly, that he was capable of satisfying her as well. Theoretically everything should be fine. Theoretically there was not the slightest reason for tears, nevertheless they still flowed along his cheeks. He held them up, but to no avail, and saw the look of concern on Lys' face.

- I'm sorry... I'm sorry... It was nice... But, but...

She just hugged him. Strongly but at the same time tenderly and gently, sinking her hand into his hair, which she stroked with slow movements.

- I know, I know, my love... - she whispered to him with love even breaking through her tone of voice. - If you feel you need to cry, cry... I just want you to know that you don't need to apologize... And... and that I am proud of you. You deserve the best of everything. I love you, Theon. I love you the most in the world.

She wiped away his tears with kisses. Every word she said was so soothing, as if by saying them all she was wrapping him in warmth that would protect him from his doomed feelings. Still, in saying it, she cried too.

#theon greyjoy #theonmonth2022 #asoiaf #game of thrones #asoiaf fandom events #fanfic #house greyjoy #my fic #asoiaf fanfiction #theonxoc #lovely #lovecore #softcore

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honourlight · 3 years

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did a rough lil sketch and paint of my detective Sehya and her very very tall vamp bf Nate😌

(yeah she’s short short... like. this is her in heels)

tags below!

tags: @keviriass @tyrils-star @anotherbeingsworld @chaotic-ramsay-queen @openheart12 @missameliep @cingerix @my-name-is-lumien @twc-thoughts-you-didnt-ask-for @agentnatesewell

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popculty · 3 years

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52 Films by Women: 2020 Edition

Another annual challenge complete!

Last year, I focused on diversifying my list. This year I kept that intention but focused on watching more non-American films and films from the 20th century. Specifically, I sought out Agnès Varda’s entire filmography, after her death in 2019. (I was not disappointed - What a filmmaking legend we lost.)

I also kept a film log for the first time and have included some of my thoughts on several films from that log. I made a point of including reviews both positive and negative, because I think it’s important to acknowledge the variability and breadth of the canon, so as not to put every film directed by a woman on a pedestal. (Although movies directed by women must clear a much higher bar to be greenlit, meaning generally higher quality...But that’s an essay for another day :)

* = directed by a woman of color

bold = fave

1. The Rhythm Section (2020) dir. Reed Morano - Not as good as it could have been, given Morano’s proven skill behind the camera, but also not nearly as bad as the critics made it out to be. And unbelievably refreshing to see a female revenge story not driven by sexual assault or the loss of a husband/child.

2. Cléo de 5 à 7 (1962) dir. Agnès Varda - If you ever wanted to take a real-time tour of Paris circa 1960, this is the film for you.

3. Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig - Still my favorite Little Women adaptation. I will re-watch it every year and cry.

4. Varda by Agnès (2019) dir. Agnès Varda & Didier Rouget

5. Booksmart (2019) dir. Olivia Wilde - An instant classic high school comedy romp that subverts all the gross tropes of its 1980s predecessors.

6. Girls of the Sun (2018) dir. Eva Husson

7. Blue My Mind (2017) dir. Lisa Brühlmann

8. Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma - Believe the hype. This film is a master thesis on the female gaze, and also just really effing gorgeous.

9. Belle Epine (2010) dir. Rebecca Zlotowski

10. Vamps (2012) dir. Amy Heckerling - With Krysten Ritter and Alicia Silverstone as modern-day vampires, I was so ready for this movie. But it feels like a bad stage play or a sit-com that’s missing a laugh-track. Bummer.

11. *Birds of Prey (2020) dir. Cathy Yan - Where has this movie been all our lives?? Skip the next onslaught of Snyder-verse grim-darkery and give me two more of these STAT!

12. She’s Missing (2019) dir. Alexandra McGuinness

13. The Mustang (2019) dir. Laure de Clermont-Tonnere - Trigger warning for the “protagonist” repeatedly punching a horse in the chest. I noped right out of there.

14. Monster (2003) dir. Patty Jenkins – I first watched this movie when I was probably too young and haven’t revisited it since. The rape scene traumatized me as a kid, but as an adult I appreciate how that trauma is not the center of the movie, or even of Aileen’s life. Everyone still talks about how Charlize “went ugly” for this role, but the biggest transformation here isn’t aesthetic, it’s physical – the way Theron replicates Wuernos’ mannerisms, way of speaking, and physicality. That’s why she won the Oscar. I also love that Jenkins calls the film “Monster” (which everyone labels Aileen), but then actually uses it to tell the story of how she fell in love with a woman when she was at her lowest, and that saved her. That’s kind of beautiful, and I’m glad I re-watched it so that I could see the story in that light, instead of the general memory I had of it being a good, feel-bad movie. It’s so much more than that.

15. Water Lilies (2007) dir. Céline Sciamma – Sciamma’s screenwriting and directorial debut, the first in her trilogy on youth, is as painfully beautiful as its sequels (Tomboy and Girlhood). It’s also one of the rare films that explores the overlap of queerness and girl friendships.

16. The Trouble with Angels (1966) dir. Ida Lupino – Movies about shenanigan-based female friendships are such rare delights. Rosalind Russel is divine as Mother Superior, and Hayley Mills as “scathingly brilliant” as the pranks she plays on her. Ida Lupino’s skill as an editor only enhances her directing, providing some truly iconic visual gags to complement dialogue snappy enough for Gilmore Girls.

17. Vagabond (1985) dir. Agnès Varda – Shot with a haunting realism, this film has no qualms about its heroine’s inevitable, unceremonious death, which it opens with, matter-of-factly, before retracing her final (literal) steps to the road-side ditch she ends up in. (I’m partly convinced said heroine was the inspiration for Sarah Manning in Orphan Black.)

18. One Sings, The Other Doesn’t (1977) dir. Agnès Varda – Probably my favorite classic Varda, this film feels incredibly personal. It’s essentially a love story about two best friends with very different lives. For an indie made in the ‘70s, the diversity, scope, and themes of the film are impressive. Even if the second half a drags a bit, the first half is absolute perfection, engaging the viewer immediately, and clipping along, sprinkling in some great original songs that were way progressive for their time (about abortion, female bodily autonomy, etc) and could still be considered “bangers” today.

19. Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

20. Black Panthers (1969) dir. Agnès Varda

21. Into the Forest (2016) dir. Patricia Rozema - When the world was ending (i.e. the pandemic hit) this was the first movie I turned to - a quiet, meditative story of two sisters (Elliot Page and Evan Rachel Wood) surviving off the land after a sudden global blackout. Four years later, it’s still one of my favorite book-to-screen adaptations. I fondly remember speaking with director Patricia Rozema at the 2016 Chicago Critics Film Festival after a screening, her love for the source material and desire to “get it right” so apparent. I assured her then, and reaffirm now, that she really did.

22. City of Trees (2019) dir. Alexandra Swarens

23. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020) dir. Eliza Hittmann - To call this a harrowing and deeply personal journey of a sixteen-year-old who must cross state lines to get an abortion would be accurate, but incomplete. It is a story so much bigger than that, about the myriad ways women’s bodies and boundaries are constantly violated.

24. Paradise Hills (2019) dir. Alice Waddington

25. *Eve’s Bayou (1996) dir. Kasi Lemmons – I’ve been meaning to watch Kasi Lemmons’ directorial debut for many years now, and I’m so glad I finally have, because it fully deserves its icon status, beyond being one of the first major films directed by a black woman. Baby Jurnee Smollett's talent was immediately recognizable, and she has reminded us of it in Birds of Prey and Lovecraft Country this year. If merit was genuinely a factor for Oscar contenders, she would have taken home gold at eleven years old. Beasts of the Southern Wild has been one of my all-time favorites, but now I realize that most of my appreciation for that movie actually goes to Lemmons for blazing the trail with her story of a young black girl from the bayou first. It’s also a surprisingly dark story about memory and abuse and familial relationships that cross lines - really gutsy and surprising themes, especially for the ‘90s.

26. Blow the Man Down (2019) dir. Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy - Come and get your sea shanty fix!

27. Touchy Feely (2013) dir. Lynn Shelton - R.I.P. :(

28. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020) dir. Madeleine Parry - If you thought Gadsby couldn’t follow up 2018′s sensational Nanette with a comedy special just as sharp and hilarious, you would have been sorely mistaken.

29. Girlhood (2013) dir. Céline Sciamma

30. Breathe (2014) dir. Mélanie Laurent

31. *A Dry White Season (1989) dir. Euzhan Palcy

32. Laggies (2014) dir. Lynn Shelton

33. *The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood – Everything I’ve ever wanted in an action movie: Immortal gays, Charlize Theron wielding a labrys (battle axe), kinetic fight choreography I haven’t seen since the last Bond movie…Watched it twice, then devoured the comics it was adapted from, and I gotta say: in the hands of black women, it eclipses the source material. Cannot wait for the just-announced sequel.

34. Morvern Callar (2002) dir. Lynn Ramsay

35. Shirley (2020) dir. Josephine Decker

36. *Radioactive (2019) dir. Marjane Satrapi – The story is obviously well worth telling and the narrative structure – weaving in the future consequences of Curie’s discoveries – is clever, but a bit awkwardly executed and overly manipulative. There are glimpses of real brilliance throughout, but it feels as if the director’s vision was not fully realized, to my great disappointment. Nonetheless, I appreciated seeing Marie Curie's story being told by a female director and embodied by the always wonderful Rosamund Pike.

37. *The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu - I feel like a real scrooge for saying this, but this movie did nothing for me. Nothing about it felt fresh, authentic or relatable. A real disappointment from the filmmaker behind the wlw classic Saving Face.

38. Mouthpiece (2018) dir. Patricia Rozema - I am absolutely floored. One of those films that makes you fall in love with the art form all over again. Patricia Rozema continues to prove herself one of the most creatively ambitious and insightful directors of our time, with this melancholic meditation on maternal grief and a woman’s duality.

39. Summerland (2020) dir. Jessica Swale - The rare period wlw love story that is not a) all-white or b) tragedy porn. Just lovely.

40. *The Last Thing He Wanted (2020) dir. Dee Rees – As rumored, a mess. Even by the end, I still couldn’t tell you who any of the characters are. Dee, we know you’re so much better than this! (see: Mudbound, Pariah)

41. *Cuties (2020) dir. Maïmouna Doucouré – I watched this film to 1) support a black woman director who has been getting death threats for her work and 2) see what all the fuss is about. While I do think there were possibly some directorial choices that could have saved quite a bit of the pearl-clutching, overall, I didn’t find it overly-exploitative or gross, as many (who obviously haven’t actually watched the film) have labeled it. It certainly does give me pause, though, and makes me wonder whether children can ever be put in front of a camera without it exploiting or causing harm to them in some way. It also makes one consider the blurry line between being a critique versus being an example. File this one under complicated, for sure.

42. A Call to Spy (2019) Lydia Dean Pilcher – An incredible true story of female spies during WWII that perfectly satisfied my itch for British period drama/spy thriller and taught me so much herstory I didn’t know.

43. Kajillionaire (2020) dir. Miranda July - I was lucky enough to attend the (virtual) premiere of this film, followed by an insightful cast/director Q&A, which only made me appreciate it more. July's offbeat dark comedy about a family of con artists is queerer and more heartfelt than it has any right to be, and a needed reprieve in a year of almost entirely white wlw stories. The family's shenanigans are the hook, but it's the budding relationship between Old Dolio (an almost unrecognizable Evan Rachel Wood) and aspiring grifter Melanie (the luminous Gina Rodriguez) that is the heart of the story.

44. Misbehaviour (2020) dir. Philippa Lowthorpe – Again, teaching me herstory I didn’t know, about how the Women’s Liberation Movement stormed the 1970 Miss World Pageant. Keira Knightley and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s characters have a conversation in a bathroom at the end of the film that perfectly eviscerates well-meaning yet ignorant white feminism, without ever pitting women against each other - a feat I didn’t think was possible. I also didn’t think it was possible to critique the male gaze without showing it (*ahem Cuties, Bombshell, etc*), but this again, invents a way to do it. Bless women directors.

45. *All In: The Fight for Democracy (2020) dir. Liz Garbus and Lisa Cortes – 2020’s 13th. Thank god for Stacey Abrams, that is all.

46. *The 40-Year-Old Version (2020) dir. Radha Blank – This scene right here? I felt that in my soul. This whole film is so good and funny and heartfelt and relatable to any artist trying to walk that tightrope of “making it” while not selling their soul to make it. My only initial semi-note was that it’s a little long, but after hearing Radha Blank talk about how she fought for the two-hour run-time as a way of reclaiming space for older black women, I take it back. She’s right: Let black women take up space. Let her movie be as long as she wants it to be. GOOD FOR HER.

47. Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea Duvall - Hoooo boy. What was marketed as the first lesbian Christmas rom-com is actually a horror movie for anyone who’s ever had to come out. Throw in casual racism and a toxic relationship treated as otp, and it’s YIKES on so many levels. Aubrey Plaza, Dan Levy, and an autistic-coded Jane are the only (underused) highlights.

48. *Monkey Beach (2020) dir. Loretta Todd

49. *Little Chief (2020) dir. Erica Tremblay – A short film part of the 2020 Red Nation Film Festival, it’s a perfect eleven minutes that I wish had gone on longer, if only to bask in Lily Gladstone in a leading role.

50. First Cow (2019) dir. Kelly Reichardt – I know Kelly Reichardt’s style, so I’ll admit-- even as I was preparing for an excellent film, I was also reaching for my phone, planning on only half paying attention during all the inevitable 30-second shots of grass blowing in the wind. (And yes, there are plenty of those.) But twenty minutes in, my phone was set aside and forgotten, as I am getting sucked into this beautiful story about two frontiersman trying to live their best domestic life.There is only one word to describe this film and that is: PURE. I’ve never seen such a tender platonic relationship between men on screen before, and it’s not lost on me that it took a woman to show us that tenderness. Reichardt gives us two men brought together by fate, and kept together by a shared dream and the simple pleasure of not being alone in such a hard world; two men who spend their days cooking, trapping, baking, and dreaming of a better life; two men who don’t say much, but feel everything for each other. The world would be a much better place if men showed us this kind of vulnerability and friendship toward each other. Oh, and it’s also a brutal take-down of capitalism and the myth of the American Dream!

51. Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) dir. Patty Jenkins - My most-anticipated film for the past two years was...well, a mixed bag, to say the least. Too many thoughts on it for a blog post, so stay tuned for the upcoming podcast ep where we go all in ;)

52. *Selah and the Spades (2019) dir. Tayarisha Poe

I hope this gives you some ideas to kick off your new year with a resolution to support more female directors!

What were your favorite women-directed movies of last year? Let me know in the tags, comments, or asks!

#finally finished this #52 films by women #2020 #writing #movies #movie reviews #orig

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fuckyeahwomenfilmdirectors · 4 years

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My 52 Favourite Films of the Decade 2010-2019: The Complete List

Random stats:

52 movies chosen directed by a total of 57 directors. 5 directing duos, 4 of which consisted of a woman-man directing duo. Only 1 directing duo was made up of 2 women.

American cinema dominated with 28 films. I went with the country listings as provided by IMDB which leads to some strange results like how 2 Days in New York, filmed and set entirely in NYC is not a U.S. production but Wadjda, filmed entirely in Saudi Arabia is (it’s something to do with who gives money, don’t ask me how it’s calculated). This was followed by French cinema with 10 films and Israeli cinema (4 films) and then a smattering of other countries.

15 directorial debuts. The high number didn’t surprise me so much. Studies have been done and it’s often much harder for women directors to make a second film than make their debut. Actually when it comes to the debut directors on my list about half have had runaway success and put out at least one or more films already, a handful have moved into TV work and a handful seem to have disappeared which is depressing. What did please me is how many films were 3rd, 4th, 10th or more films proving that there are women directors with long careers who just keep getting better.

5 documentaries. I always think of myself as someone who doesn’t like documentaries so this seemed surprisingly high for me.

2 sequels both of which I liked better than their predecessors and both of which I think stand completely on their own.

2 films by directors who are no longer with us. Thank you Agnès Varda and Ronit Elkabetz.

0 repeat directors. This mostly worked out that way naturally. The directors who came the closest to having 2 films on the list were Debra Granik (Winter’s Bone missed out) and Céline Sciamma (for Girlhood), both of which were ultimately fairly easy to cut.

The List:

2 Days in New York dir. Julie Delpy (2012)

Amour Fou dir. Jessica Hausner (2014)

The Babadook dir. Jennifer Kent (2014)

Beach Rats dir. Eliza Hittman (2017)

Cameraperson dir. Kirsten Johnson (2016)

Clip dir. Maja Milos (2012)

Declaration of War dir. Valérie Donzelli (2011)

Divines dir. Houda Benyamina (2016)

The Edge of Democracy dir. Petra Costa (2019)

The Edge of Seventeen dir. Kelly Fremon Craig (2016)

Enough Said dir. Nicole Holofcener (2013)

Faces, Places dir. Agnès Varda & JR (2017)

The Farewell dir. Lulu Wang (2019)

A Film Unfinished dir. Yael Hersonski (2010)`

Fill the Void dir. Rama Burshtein (2012)

The Fits dir. Anna Rose Holmer (2015)

Fort Tilden dir. Sarah Violet Bliss & Charles Rogers (2014)

Gett: The Trial of Viviane Amsalem dir. Shlomi Elkabetz & Ronit Elkabetz (2014)

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night dir. Ana Lily Amirpour (2014)

Hustlers dir. Lorene Scafaria (2019)

I Think We’re Alone Now dir. Reed Morano (2018)

The Kindergarten Teacher dir. Sara Colangelo (2018)

Last Night dir. Massy Tadjedin (2010)

Leave No Trace dir. Debra Granik (2018)

Little Forest dir. Yim Soon-rye (2018)

The Loneliest Planet dir. Julia Loktev (2011)

Lore dir. Cate Shortland (2012)

Lost in Paris dir. Dominique Abel & Fiona Gordon (2016)

The Love Witch dir. Anna Biller (2016)

Meek’s Cutoff dir. Kelly Reichardt (2010)

Middle of Nowhere dir. Ava DuVernay (2012)

Mudbound dir. Dee Rees (2017)

Obvious Child dir. Gillian Robespierre (2014)

On Body and Soul dir. Ildikó Enyedi (2017)

Palo Alto dir. Gia Coppola (2013)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire dir. Céline Sciamma (2019)

Private Life dir. Tamara Jenkins (2018)

Raw dir. Julia Ducournau (2016)

Songs My Brothers Taught Me dir. Chloé Zhao (2015)

Stories We Tell dir. Sarah Polley (2012)

Their Finest dir. Lone Scherfig (2016)

Things to Come dir. Mia Hansen-Løve (2016)

Toni Erdmann dir. Maren Ade (2016)

Vamps dir. Amy Heckerling (2012)

Vazante dir. Daniela Thomas (2017)

Wadjda dir. Haifaa al-Mansour (2012)

Wonder Woman dir. Patty Jenkins (2017)

The Wonders dir. Alice Rohrwacher (2014)

Woodshock dir. Laura & Kate Mulleavy (2017)

You Were Never Really Here dir. Lynne Ramsay (2017)

Zero Dark Thirty dir. Kathryn Bigelow (2012)

Zero Motivation dir. Talya Lavie (2014)

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brianamorganbooks · 4 years

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MOUTH FULL OF ASHES

a wip introduction

GENRE: adult horror

STATUS: first draft, writing

POV: third person, past tense

THEMES AND TROPES: poc rep; queer rep; youth/innocence vs. age/experience; timelessness; mortality; beautiful monsters

———

SUMMARY

When Callie’s friend Ramsay asks her to go to a carnival with him, the last thing she expects is for him to abandon her to make out with some guy he just met. Another thing she doesn’t expect: said rando is a vampire, and he and his vampire buddies are eager to sink their teeth—figuratively and literally—into the citizens of Neap Bay.

As Callie and Ramsay work to stop the vampires from wreaking havoc, they become embroiled in the group’s affairs, crimes, and lifestyle. One errant glass of wine at a party sets the clock ticking on Callie and Ramsay’s mortality, though—now they not only have to keep the vamps from killing everywhere, but they also must fight not to become vamps themselves.

TAGLIST: ask/dm/reply to be added/removed!

#my wip #mouth full of ashes #writeblr #writerblr #wip intro

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mogai-headcanons · 7 months

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all of these characters are from the magical diary video game series; the tvtropes character page should have images for everyone, and i would prefer if you used the wolf hall sprites. (i'm pretty sure the sprites are transparent, but i also have access to the actual game files and should be able to get you those if the tvtropes images don't work.)

virginia danson is a soft butch gendersport nonbinary lesbian with adhd hyperactive type and a chronic illness; she uses she / they pronouns.

she's roommates and best friends with ellen middleton, an autistic anisomagiscien magiscifightic magiencetion magisciencegender omni lesbian genderqueer girl with ptsd who uses she / it pronouns, and she has a special interest in the way magic and science interact !

minnie cochran is an autistic transgender girl who's exploring her sexuality in the wake of separating from an abusive boyfriend and has anxiety + ptsd; she uses she / her pronouns, and is in a qpr with jacob blaising.

minnie is roommates with pastel rao, who is a pinkgender passerifaen pixibordaen faething faefaerian pansexual genderfae girl with hypersexuality, bpd and hpd who uses fae / faer pronouns.

raven darkstar is a trans vampyrgender stagevampiric ebonyfulnic arospec bisexual girl with aspd who uses she / her or vamp / vamps !

suki sato is an autistic dragongender quoiromantic asexual weirdgirl who uses any pronouns ! he and raven are roommates.

barbara solmaro is an autistic selectively mute amatopunk damselpunk combootic roguian rebelburn ignidesolation latenightdrawic punkcutic acespec trans girl who deliberately leaves her sexuality unlabeled; she has adhd & ptsd, and uses she / her pronouns.

luke phifer is a veldian nonbinary guy with an undiagnosed learning disability who uses he / they pronouns !

they're roommates and best friends with donald danson, virginia's brother, who is a transmasc straight guy with adhd who uses he / him pronouns !

donald and virginia have an older brother, william, who is an autistic kindligender girlboy femme brothergender shadowbi gay man with ptsd who uses he / she pronouns !

jacob blaising is an aromantic nonbinary boy who uses he / it pronouns ! it's in a qpr with minnie cochran.

logan phifer is jacob's roommate and luke's twin brother ; they are a autistic aroace nonbinary bluegender person who uses they / them pronouns.

damien ramsay is canonically bisexual and uses he / him pronouns. he and william are exes.

manuel arias is an autistic wolfgender werecreature cuddleweren softdogwolfial artgender transgender gay man who uses he / nya pronouns !

queued!

#long post

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koipepo · 2 years

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Vampire! Ramsay. Heavily inspired by Vampires from Witcher 3.

Since this kind of vampire consumes blood recreationally like human would with sweets/alcohol, i think vamp! Ramsay would be seen as obnoxiously overindulgent

#thramsay #ramsay bolton #fanart #my fanart #vamp! ramsay #my art

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owlsinathens · 3 years

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1, 2 and 22 for the get to know your author ask ❤

Hi nonnie, thank you very much for the ask!

I'm going to keep 1 for another ask, I hope you don't mind ❤️

2. what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

oooh no doubt the Vamp AU (I heard your blood...) I mean, I definitely still stand by it, but holy fucking hell that was. something else. I'm as bad as Euron really.

22. are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

anything to do with child abuse. that's a theme I can hardly bear to read about, let alone write about. Also, writing Ramsay makes me uncomfortable as hell lol

#ask game #personal #anon ask #my writing

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footballdaydream · 4 years

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don’t know if you do these tags, but i saw one about music where you shuffle your playlist and tell us the first 10 songs that are played and then tag 4 people to do the same. saw this and thought it would be fun and we could get to know you a little bit aha Xx

Oh yes. I love tags and I’m so happy when you guys’ write me. xx

1. Why don’t we - I don’t belong in this club2. One Direction - History3. HL Wave, Jhonny Flames - Gordon Ramsay4. Lauv, Troye Sivan - I’m so tired5. Justin Bieber - Take it out on me6. Mabel - I belong to me7. Perfect Time - Roddy Ricch8. The Vamps - Can we dance9. Harry Styles - Watermelon Sugar10. DaBaby - BOP

I tag @cinnnabaee @dreamingdcl @lawsandother @trentxsancho

#anon answered #thank you #tag

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kcdiehlartandwriting · 5 years

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Okay I know it has been absolutely forever and a day since I last posted, almost a year but not quite. I have been busy with work and life and I lost my muse for a bit but I think its back and hopefully to stay.

NOTE: This chapter gets a little steamy but it also shows some Non-con/rape scene so be warned. Its not to detailey but its not really subtle either. I will star * off the section so those who wish to easily skip can.

It had been months since the dealings with Russel Edgington had finished and it had also been months since Sookie disappeared. No one knew anything; there was no note, no sign of a disappearance other than her front door being left open. Bill had been brought in for questioning, but nothing came from it. He explained that even he could not feel the connection they shared with blood the bond, stating simply then later vehemently that she was simply just gone. Everyone had their own theories as to what happened to her most centered around Bill killing her. Sam had informed Eric and I that he had followed her scent from her house to the cemetery and it just vanished: Saying it was like following a path that abruptly dropped off to a cliff around a blind corner. I had tried to have a vision of what had happened or where she was but all I got was seeing Sookie crying after kicking Bill out of her house then running out of the house, followed by nothing. Jason and Tara were distraught as well as Lafayette thinking along with most of the town that Bill had something to do with it, but nothing could be proven.

In the time since Sookie’s disappearance things around town had been quiet. The only truly exciting thing that had happened was that Eric had moved in with me; after making some minor adjustments to the interior Light tight blinds, a new security system, a new fridge big enough to hold all of my food along with his blood, a few new fixtures here and there, and my personal favorite a king size bed.

I was in my living room dutifully painting a landscape that had come to me in a dream. I had a vast array of blues, greens, and golds. Taking a step back I sat on my couch and took a good look at what I had accomplished. I had wound up with a forest bathed in gilded light surrounding a waterfall and a snake like river. “Good evening min kårlek.” My eyes fell from my painting toto the tall blond Viking dwarfing my doorway. Having emerged from his sleep only wearing a pair of sweat pants low on his hips. Eric had pretty muched lived with me now. It had been about two months since Eric started renovating my house to be accommodating for his aversion to sunlight. He had special shutters installed that came down when the sun rose so that we no longer had to sperate at dawn.

“Shit. Its dark.” I groaned dropping the brush on to the table by my easel and gave my back a good stretch.

“How long have you been working on this master piece?” He asked coming to looking over my shoulder before giving my neck a feather light kiss.

“Uhh.” I glanced around the room taking in the lack of internal light, I had been using large windows of the room and one clamp lamp on the side table. Then there was the half-eaten sandwich from lunch. “Lunch I think.” Sounding more like a question then an answer.

Eric tsked me before speaking. “Well then I think it maybe time for dinner then.” He placed a kiss on my cheek. “Come darling.”

I stretched my arms over my head for a good moment before standing from the couch. “You don’t have to go to the club?” I asked.

“No, I am all yours tonight min kårlek.” He answered with a smirk. “Now go get cleaned up and I will get dinner started.” Pointing out that I was now fairly covered in paint.

“You can cook?” I gave him a bemused look. Eric flashed towards me, looming over me with a smirk.

“I may be a thousand-year-old vampire, who mainly only imbibes in a very delicious morsel, but I do in fact know how to cook.” He spoke with a devilish gleam before nipping at my neck “Now upstairs.”

I promptly found myself in my shower, washing away the remnants of my day. I had come to enjoy the new shower Eric had insisted on updating: mostly since my previous set up had the shower head barely hit his shoulders; which had made me giggle the first few times that resulted in a glare from his end each time.

After finishing my wash, I emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a dark fluffy blue towel. I dug through my dresser drawers pulling out a pair of cherry red boy shorts and decided on one of Eric’s creamy white long-sleeved Henley. I loved his shirts they were always soft and warm, and it fell about mid-thigh on me. Once dressed I ran the towel through my short inky locks until I was satisfied that I would not drip water all over my floors. When I reentered the kitchen, I was in aw at the sight before me, it was utterly domestic. My tall blond Viking was standing in front of the stove stirring away with a dish towel strone over his shoulder. He was so focused that I was sure that if he was human that he wouldn’t have even noticed my presence.

“Are you enjoying the view?” He asked cocking an eyebrow at me before giving me a wink.

“Oh, very much so… I don’t think I have ever seen you so domestic.” I gave him a teasing smirk as I took a seat at my kitchen table. The table was one of the few things I was adamant about staying. It was a gorgeous mahogany clawfoot round table with the ability to add leaves to extend the length. It had been in my family for a few generations and though it had seen some better days it was still a great work. I did however concede to let him get it restored.

“I am only domestic for you, min kårlek.” Eric spoke as he milled about the kitchen finishing the meal. I took this opportunity to peak at what he was making. He had two cast irons out; one had what looked like to be potatoes and the other I couldn’t make out before he placed it in the oven.

“So where does a thousand-year-old vampire learn to cook?”

“Well I have come to quite enjoy watching Gordon Ramsay.” He answered genuinely.

“Really you like to watch Gordon Ramsay?” I asked a little perplexed.

“I enjoy his swearing and his ruefulness.” He moved about going from cabinet to cabinet till he found the dinnerware; placing it in front of me. Speedily he took the pan out of the oven and placed its contents on to the plate and just as quickly went and came back with potatoes. “Stake and potatoes bon apatite.” He kissed my cheek before going to the fridge to pull out a glass of blood. While I let him feed from me, he only did it a few times a week, especially after a fainting spell I had a few weeks ago. He was concerned for my wellbeing and I found that incredibly sweet.

After dinner we retired to our bedroom and though Eric had only been up for a few hours I was starting to get tired. Often unless we had something specific planned, I woke up before noon so I could paint using the natural light or run around doing some errands, sometimes things for Eric that required the ability to be out in the sun. Eric would either wake up either at sunset or a little before; he explained that being older the constraints of sleep did not affect him as much as it would someone like Bill he was turned during the Civil War. Eric and I would have dinner together most nights before he had to go to the club or handle some vampire sheriff business. Nights like this were my favorite when Eric didn’t have to attend to anything, and we could just lay together on the bed watch some stupid show or a scary movie to Eric’s preference; he liked the fact that I would cling closer to him at the jump scares. Eric would stay with me sometimes he would leave and find some sort of vampire duty to take of but sometimes I would wake up early in the morning just as the sun’s rays would start to filter through the blinds. It scared me the first time because I was worried for Eric, but he stopped me before I could grab the controller to close the blinds.

It was early in the morning when I woke, and it was one of the first nights Eric didn’t have to leave me to return to his home; he had made my home our home with renovations. My eyes still closed I just took in my surroundings. I could feel Eric around me our legs intertwined, one arm under my head, and the other tracing little patterns along my side. My hand rested across his chest and I gave him a gentle squeeze before opening my eyes.

It took a moment for me to blink away the sleep and when it was gone panic set in. The blinds had not closed, and I could see Eric’s skin start to turn red. “Why didn’t the blinds shut?” I asked sitting up looking for the controller to close them, but I was stopped by Eric softly grabbing my hands.

“Its fine… I just wanted to see for myself… what the sun looked like in your hair.” He pulled me till I was straddling his bare chest and tenderly combed his fingers through my hair. “And I wanted to see the light sparkle in your eyes.” His large hand cupped my cheek running his thumb just below my lashes. “They are the most exquisite green I have seen in a long time; they remind me of home. I just wish I could see it more often.” I head the whoosh of the blinds closing before we were enveloped in darkness. I laced my fingers with his pulling his hand to my lips.

“I love you.” I whispered before kissing him.

Eric and I were curled up on the bed watching some comedy about a woman trying to get funding for a park in her town full of very inept people. “What are your plans for the week? Any vamp business to keep you busy?”

“A few things.” He started “King Bill has been a pain the ass.” He finished with a growl. Shortly after Sookie diapered Bill somehow was able to dispatch the vampire Queen, Sophie Anne, that was nearly three times his age. Eric was clearly not pleased with this often referring to Bill as sanctimonious and the fact that Bill tried and failed to kill him, and Pam did not sit well with him. A vampire that had held a grudge for the better part of millennia. “Now what about you? I know you have been hanging out with our dear La-La and his new friend.”

“Yes, I’ve been hanging out with Lafayette and his boyfriend Jesús. Lafayette invited me to come with him and Jesús to the shop that this ‘coven’ meets at.” I air quoted the word coven. “Lafayette told me, from what he gathered from Jesús, that its mostly apparently hand holding and lighting candles with some chanting and powerful thought. I’m mainly going to keep La-la company he gets the willies from this stuff and since Tara isn’t in town anymore, I figured I’d tag along; maybe make some daylight friends. And keep him from wigging out.” I snickered at my last comment.

“What we creatures of the night not enough for you?” Eric tutted before moving to straddle me.

“Oh, your enough,” I smiled “But I need something to occupy my time when you have business to attend to and I don’t always like going to the club.”

“I suppose that’s okay.” He took my hands in his while giving me a playful smile. “I don’t want you getting bored.” He leaned down and kissed my lips softly. I replied slowly lifting my head to him deepening the kiss; Eric released my hands to grasp my neck and weave his fingers through my hair. Giving a light squeeze to hair and his thumb stroking over the now rapid pulse along my jugular. “You know I just love when you wear my shirts. I’ve been debating about getting rid of all of your clothes, so you only have my shirts to wear.” Eric whispered into my ear giving a light nibble on my ear. “And don’t’ think I haven’t noticed those red panties peeking out from underneath.” His hands ghosted down my body till he found the hem of the shirt; his fingers danced across the flesh of my stomach before he removed his shirt. His hands quickly returned to my body after the shirt was no longer in the way, mouth on mine, my fingers drawing lines along his back. I heard the click of his fangs as he pulled away from my mouth before he nipped at my neck, grazing his sharp canines against my skin but not drawing blood. He was waiting for my permission; I gave a nod exposing my neck more. “You know rules now min kårlek, you have to say it.”

“Yes.” I whispered. “Please you make it go away.” It had been months since the incident at just outside of Fangtasia when I was attacked by vamp no to Eric’s territory.

I was at Fangtasia sitting at the bar with Jessica, me enjoying a vodka coke and Jessica an AB+ Tru Blood. “So how are you and Hoyte?”

She smiled. “Things are good. We’re getting a place together in a few weeks. We just have to work around Bill. I don’t think he really likes Hoyte, like he is nice to him, but I don’t know…” Jessica trailed off fiddling with the lid of her drink.

“Hey, think of it like this he is your Maker, sooo he is kind of like your father in away and what father approves of his daughters first real boyfriend especially one she wants to live with.”

She mulled the thought over a little. “I guess I can see that”

“See and do you think my folks would approve of Eric, forget that he is a thousand-year-old Viking vampire, they would freak over the fact that he owns what I’m sure they call ‘a den of ill repute and deplorable atrocities.’” I fringed a snobbish accent. My folks weren’t necessarily snobs, but Eric’s club is on the seedier side of things even for Shreveport. Jessica responded with belt of laughter clearly the mood had been lightened.

“God, I needed that. Things have been super quite and tense since Sookie…” She trailed off. Things had been hard for Jessica; Bill’s mourning was a little overwhelming and his need to protect his new found kingdom was unsettling. It was driving Jessica to wits end.

“Yeah I know.” I reached out to grab her hand. “If you need a friend, I’m only a few seconds away by vamp speed.” I smiled at her. “Eric won’t really mind. I have a guest room and it can be light tight too. Eric finished the renovations to the house about a month ago.”

“Thanks, Em.”

We continued talking though the night; my eyes occasionally glancing to the stage to see Eric watching me from his throne. A smirk gracing his lips, a quick wink of his eye before turning his eyes to watch the crowd of people and vamps. Until Pam came up to him and whispered something in his ear giving him pause before his eyes landed on me once more. He said something back to her before standing and making his way to me.

“I have to take care of some business; Pam will see you home.” His hand finding my back as he pressed a kiss to my hair.

“The club doesn’t close for another six hours; Jess and I were thinking of heading out when we’re done with our drinks. I don’t want to have Pam to leave the club, especially since you haven’t found a replacement for Chow yet.”

Eric thought for a moment before letting out a sigh. “Fine. Text me when your home. I shouldn’t be too long. Enjoy your drink and Jessica…” He left an unspoken threat in the air.

“I’ll make sure she gets home alright.” Jessica swallowed at the respected fear that just drenched her.

This earned Eric a sharp whack to the stomach from me. “Be nice! Jessica is my friend, our friend Eric, we do not threaten our friends Eric.” I glared at him. I loved him I really did but sometimes his social skills were lacking, greatly.

“I’m sorry. Jessica I would appreciate it if you made sure that Emilia go home alright.” He tried again.

“Of course, Eric.” She gave a small smile.

“Thank you.” He leaned down in kissed behind my ear, “I only do this for you.” I barely heard over the pounding music.

I turned to face him and gave him a soft kiss “I appreciate you.” He gave a low growl before walking off. Eric wasn’t big about public displays of affection, at least to little intimate things, but I took them when I could. Eric was gone as quickly as he came.

“Eric is positively a different person around you.” Jessica stated.

“I know, you should see him in private.” I winked.

It was about an hour later when we decided it was time to head out; the club was starting to get crowded and was become much less our scene when the patrons start to become livelier. “Ok let’s head out, let me just let Pam know we’re leaving.” I turned to go find her only to almost bump into her. “Oh, Pam I was just looking”

“I know, have a good night with the baby vamp. And we’re going shopping this weekend… One of the good things about you dating Eric is he pays for my shit too, plus I occasionally enjoy a little girl bonding.” Pam drawled. “I’ll see you later.”

“Let’s go Jess.” I said linking arms with her as I swayed a little. “I think you should drive.” I giggled lightly the drinks I had earlier starting to take their toll.

“I think that’s best. Bet you’re enjoying the fact that being friends with a vampire means you always have a DD.”

“That is a perk.” Walking to the car I began to dig in my purse for the keys. “Ah here they are.” I handed Jessica the keys and made my way to the passenger side of the car.

“Excuse me ladies?” Jess and I turned to see two men approach us. “Ah sorry to bother you but we’re a little a lost and we were wondering if you could point us in the direction Route 49 north?” We took in their appearance they seemed normal, kind of like the boy next door.

“Uh yeah it’s just…” Jessica started.

My vision began to blacken, and I was looking at Jessica’s body on the ground writhing in pain; one the man standing over her with can of silver spray in his hand. “Shut her up.” The other man yelled before I could move, I was grabbed from behind and slammed into the passenger door. I was back to the present as Jessica was explaining directions. I went to warn her, but I was to late the first man had already sprayed the silver spray in Jessica’s face. “Shut her up.” Fingers ripped through my hair before my face connected with the door and all went black.

When I came too my hands were tied above my hands sharp metal biting into my wrists. My feet barely touched the ground, but I was able to spin my body look around the room. I found Jessica quickly she was chained up like me except she had silver chains draped about her. She had a bag of blood hooked up to her, they were draining her. I was about to call her name when one of the men from earlier walked in. “She’s right here. I haven’t had a chance to find out her blood type, but she is pretty.” A vamp entered after him.

*********************************************

“Interesting operation you have here, both human and vamp client tell. Though I’d keep your product separate you don’t want anyone pro authority finding out about the vamps and humans tend to frown at kidnapping.” The vamp spoke with raspy drawl. He was physically older tan with salt and pepper hair. “But I don’t mind.” The vampire walked over to me and reached a hand out to my cheek; I tried to bite his fingers. “Oh, you got a temper. I like that.” He responded with a swift lurch of my hair exposing my neck to him.

“Get away from her.” I heard Jess’ broken voice from across the room. That’s when I noticed the silver bit shoved in her mouth.

‘God who were these guys’ I thought, realizing who much of a shit show we were in. “You don’t want to do this. He’s going to kill you if you hurt me.” I gritted out.

“And who would that be?”

“Eric Northman, Sheriff of Area 5. I’m sure you’ve heard of him… you are in his area.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of him all right, but I just don’t care. I’m gonna take your blood while I take you.” The vamp whispered in my ear. I knew he could smell the fear dripping off me, I just told myself to hold on until Eric found me.

“No! Get of me! I said get off.” I started to kick my legs out, but he was strong he had them pinned down. He jerked my head to the side and began to feed from me while at the same time he was ripping my clothes off. “Stop!”

“I know you want it like this all vamp whores do…” I could feel my blood on his mouth when he spoke in my ear. “I’m sure your master is rough with you.” At this point I had tears pouring down my face.

“I don’t want this! Get off, of me.” The hand that was holding my hair moved to my mouth stopping me from talking and restricted my breathing.

“You humans are so loud.” He growled out. That’s when I heard the zipper of his pants and I froze. “Trust me,” He looked into my eyes; I knew he was trying to glamour me. “You want this.” His head went back to my neck and his free hand went to stroke himself. I began to scream through his hand. “What the?” He realized something was wrong with the glamour: Releasing my mouth he grasped my chin in a vice grip he stared into my eyes. “You Will BE QUITE! And YOU WILL ENJOY THIS!” He growled.

I spat in his face. “No, I will NOT!”

There was a loud crash outside of the room followed by sounds of screams that quickly died. The door to the room that held Jess and I along with the rapist vamp flung off the hinges.

********************************************************

“I believe the lady said no.” Tears of relief washed over me, my eyes darting to Jessica I could see streaks of fresh blood running down her face. I also noticed all the cuts and welts from the silver, she had tried so hard to get out the chains to get to me. “I don’t know you who you are.” Eric began stepping into the room. “You know by rule of the Authority that when a new vampire moves into a new area they are supposed to either report to the Sheriff or the King or Queen of said area… which you have not.” The fury was just dripping off Eric.

The vamp stepped away from me. “I have talked with the Queen she knows.”

“Queen you say.” Eric raised a brow. “You must be fucking new cause you see Queen Sophie Anne was killed a few months ago, it’s King Bill now. And King Bill just so happens to be a neighbor of mine and a friend of that human there… oh and the little red head that is his progeny.” I could see the vampire was taken back and was trying to find an exit in the room, but there was only one, behind Eric. “Emilia,” Eric caught my “Close your eyes.”

I did just that. It all happened so fast the clicking of Eric’s fangs, the whooshing of their bodies across the room, the more than animalistic growls. Then the ripping of flesh followed by a heavy thud. I knew Eric had to have won but I was afraid to open my eyes.

“Min kårlek,” I felt Eric’s icy hand touch my cheek. “I got you.” He quickly freed my hands, my arms falling around him heavy from lack of blood flow. “It’s okay I got you.”

“Help Jess… Please.” Eric paused I knew he didn’t want to put me down. He had trusted her to keep me safe and we ended up here. “She worse then I am… It’s not her fault. They surprised us… I had a vison of it only seconds before it happened… I couldn’t stop it. They, they were…” I was in hysterics by the end. “I’m sorry Jessica. I didn’t see it soo.”

Eric shushed me. “It’s alright I know; I got her too. Let me just sit you down okay.” He placed me softly on the ground. Moving to Jessica he mad quick work of freeing her.

“I’m sorry Eric.” She started; Eric held up a hand silencing her

“I know.” He didn’t say anything else but you could tell that he was wrestling with something “I’ll take you home to Bill. Can you walk?” She gave a small nod. Eric was back to me in a flash wrapping his jacket around me before lifting me from the ground; I tried not flinch at his touch, but the memories of that vampire were seared into me.

“I-i-i-I”

“It’s alright, it will be all right. I am not going to let anything else hurt you… I promise.”

When we arrived at Bill’s we were greeted by his security and quickly Bill himself demanding what happened. Eric took Bill to the side as a female security member helped Jess in. I could tell they were both seething by the end.

“They’re dead?”

“Yes… It hurt.”

“Good…”

Back home Eric was gentle with me, slow. He placed me on the bed. “How about a bath min kårlek?” He asked, I nodded. “Emilia, I want to hear you say it… I won’t do anything without a yes.” He was kneeling in front of me staring up at me with soft eyes. “Would you like a bath?”

“Yes.”

It took weeks for me to get to the point I’m at now. I was never uncomfortable with Eric touching me or biting me, but sometimes the memories flashed, and it wasn’t Eric touching me anymore. And he was so caring during my healing. To a point now, that I’m fine with a just a nod though Eric likes to still ask and wait for a yes for certain things. He wants to make sure that I know I still have control. I love him all the more for it.

“I want you.” I whispered. My hands roamed his body, smooth and icy to the touch. Eric’s pants long forgotten along with my clothes. Our bodies moved in perfect harmony. His teeth sank into my neck as he filled me till his hilt. Pants and growls filled the room. Eric pulled away from me, looking me in the eye before bringing his hand to his mouth to bite it, then presenting it to me.

“We will be one… always.” He spoke softly. I accepted letting the coppery warmth run down my throat. Our rhythm increased until we finished in sync. Eric pulled his hand away and rested his forehead on mine, still inside of me. “I love you Emilia.”

I lifted my head placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “I love you.” Eric rolled off me pulling me to be little spoon to his big spoon. Nuzzling my neck, arms encircling me I let sleep take me.

It was hours later when I was jolted awake by loud banging coming from downstairs, someone was at the front door. It was pitch black in the room meaning the blinds were closed and Eric was still around me. The banging continued and I moved to get up; glancing at the clock it was well past noon almost one, Eric would not be waking up for some banging. I detangled my self from his grasp, quickly finding a pair of shorts and Eric’s shirt I had on earlier. I made my way downstairs, making sure our bedroom door was closed. The banging continued “Alright I’m coming, I’m coming.” I opened the front door and could not believe what I was seeing. “Sookie?!?”

min kårlek = my love

#true blood #true blood fan fiction #true blood ff #eric northman #eric x oc #eric northman x oc #non-con/rape #mentions of assult

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