twas the night before christmas - wayhaught drabble
a/n : okay.. first off, merry christmas! hope you all are having a wonderful holiday <3 this is the first time one of my works will be published here so why not make my first published work here a wayhaught drabble? but yeah i hope you all enjoy :)
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It was a chilly Christmas Eve, and Nicole and Waverly sat cozily by the crackling fireplace in their quaint home in Purgatory. The aroma of a delightful Christmas dinner lingered in the air, the remnants of a delicious meal they had just finished.
Nicole, with her warm eyes and a genuine smile, looked at Waverly, whose eyes sparkled with love and contentment. The soft glow of the Christmas tree lights illuminated the room, casting a magical ambiance. The two were eating turkey with mashed potatoes.
Waverly leaned in and whispered, "Nicole, this has been the perfect Christmas dinner. Thank you for making it so special."
Nicole grinned, "Anything for you. Christmas is our time, and I want it to be perfect every year."
The two women exchanged a tender kiss, the love between them evident in the quiet moments they shared. Outside, the snowfall painted the landscape in a pristine white, adding to the enchantment of the night.
After the tender kiss, Waverly looked at her wife. "Do you think Wynonna and Doc are having a wonderful night as well?"
"Oh definitely. They both deserve to spend the holiday with each other and Alice. I hope next year they all can return so we can spend the holidays together." Nicole responded.
She nods. She couldn't help but to admire her wife. She truly was a lucky woman. Both have been through so much and it was relieving that their love story wont end. Nicole meant a whole lot to Waverly and she'd do anything for her. And Nicole? She felt the same way.
Once the dinner was done and everything was clean, Waverly did their dishes. She had washed and put the dishes away before cleaning up her own hands.
Meanwhile, Nicole's eyes gleamed mischievously as she stood up and walked towards the vintage record player in the corner of the room. She carefully selected a vinyl record, the soft crackle filling the room as the needle dropped onto the spinning disc. The sweet melody of a classic Christmas song enveloped the cabin.
"Care for a dance, my love?" Nicole extended her hand to Waverly, who looked up at her with adoration.
Waverly beamed and took Nicole's hand, allowing herself to be led to the center of the room. The glow of the Christmas lights danced in Waverly's eyes as she looked into Nicole's, and the two women began to sway to the gentle rhythm of the music.
Nicole, with her confident yet graceful movements, guided Waverly through the simple dance. As they twirled and glided across the wooden floor, the room seemed to shrink, leaving only the two of them in their own world.
Waverly couldn't help but admire Nicole's every move. The way her eyes sparkled with joy, the warmth of her smile, and the love that emanated from her being filled Waverly's heart with happiness. In that moment, the entire world faded away, leaving only the quiet intimacy of the cabin and the enchantment of the Christmas music.
"You're a wonderful dancer, Nicole," Waverly whispered, her eyes locked onto Nicole's.
Nicole grinned, "Well, I have the best dance partner in the world. That's what makes it easy."
As the song reached its conclusion, Nicole pulled Waverly into a gentle spin before ending the dance with a soft, lingering kiss. The crackling fire, the twinkling lights, and the melody of the Christmas song created a magical atmosphere, wrapping the couple in the warmth of their love.
Waverly sighed contentedly, "Thank you for making this Christmas so perfect, Nicole. I love you."
Nicole whispered back, "I love you too, Waverly. Merry Christmas, my beautiful wife."
Just as Nicole and Waverly were catching their breath after their dance, the cabin door creaked open. A familiar voice echoed through the room, "Well, well, what do we have here? Am I interrupting something, or is this just a typical Earp Christmas Eve?"
Wynonna, Waverly's sister, stood in the doorway with a sly grin on her face. Her trademark smirk softened into a genuine smile as she saw the love between Nicole and Waverly.
"Sorry to barge in, ladies. Hope I'm not ruining the mistletoe magic. Just wanted to surprise you all," Wynonna quipped, stepping into the cabin. Doc , Jeremy , Rachel and Alice followed after her.
Waverly chuckled, "You know you're always welcome, Wynonna. It's not Christmas Eve without you making an entrance."
Wynonna winked, "Well, I aim to please."
Nicole, still holding Waverly close, grinned at Wynonna, "All of you care for a plate?"
Rachel raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure we won't be crashing your romantic session?"
Waverly nudged her sister playfully, "Nonsense! You're family. Besides, we have enough food to feed an army."
As the all of them gathered around the table, Nicole dished out servings of the delicious Christmas feast onto plates. Their cozy home became filled with laughter and the warmth of shared stories.
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End.
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Ineffable Husbands / Aziracrow / Crowley x Aziraphale - Good Omens - A Thought
Y'all, I am super late to this fandom. But, I devoured both seasons like Aziraphale with a plate of ribs and then went back for seconds, and thirds.
Up until now, WayHaught has been my favorite queer ship, but these two adorable beings have slithered their way into my heart and flown into my mind.
I'm not planning to Meta these (I'm still behind on the Spapel finale, the Chenford REWINDS, and never even got to start Nace). But, I do have a thought that I can't get outta my head.
SPOILER ALERT: There's no removing this once it's in your system. I will be talking about both seasons. So, if you're still unspoiled (as I was until very recently), and want to stay that way, proceed no further.
Again, this isn't a full Meta. Just my own weird contribution to the conversation based on uneducated observation and fanatical attention to detail. I might be way off in my interpretation, but I haven't seen this thought discussed elsewhere, so I thought it should be said.
Ready? Let's dive in.
Aziraphale Feels Love
We establish early in Season 1 that Aziraphale is able to feel love. We don't know if all angels share this ability from the show (maybe the book-readers can tell in the comments), but we know he can.
He feels it when they go to the former Nunnery. He feels it when they're driving right before they run into Anathema. Aziraphale feels love.
And, yes, the book is in my TBR pile. I promised a friend to give them script notes, and I've told myself until I fulfill that promise, no other reading. So, soon enough I'll be caught up! But, in the meantime, I treasure the wisdom of those of you who've gone before.
I could wait to write this until later... but like Aziraphale after doing a good deed, I'm about to pop!
Anyway, we also see Aziraphale reveling in the ball and the pureness of the perception of the era. He loves a slow-moving romance spoken through kissing hands and whispered conversation. While Aziraphale has not experienced physical love, he's no stranger to the concept of love in its many facets.
Crowley/[Insert Angel Name Here] and Aziraphale have been doing a dance since before the Earth began. The first time they met, Aziraphale was immediately keen on him. And The-Angel-Futurely-Known-As-Crowley was happy to have someone to share in his moment of triumph.
If we look at the Bible, there's the idea of companionship—that humans were not meant to be alone. I would argue that the same could be said of our favorite eternal beings.
The-Angel-Futurely-Known-As-Crowley was trying to crank all this up by himself. It's not that he wasn't capable. He could've held the plans between his feet, or something. But, an angel happened by who was willing to stop and help—a pure heart eager to lend a hand.
That's where it started for them. And I argue that at the Eastern Wall, Crowley wasn't sure how he'd be received by Aziraphale... but he had to try. And being the angel he is, Aziraphale chose kindness toward the fallen angel.
By the time we reach 1941 (which sounds like a very critical year for these two), they've been through a lot. They've formed "our side" and Crowley's loneliness got a little more bearable while the weight of Aziraphale's conscious increased.
They've traded temptations and blessings, flipped coins, shared meals, supped and sipped. But in their last documented interaction before 1941—in 1862—they had a fight.
Crowley asked for Holy Water. For insurance. And Aziraphale's poor word choice led to their first real breakup (that we've seen.. 1650 and 1793 had the "I Was Wrong" dance, so they might've broken up, then, too, for all we know).
"Look, I've been thinking, what if it all goes wrong? We have a lot in common, you and me."
They're still not putting a label on it. These cutie-pies have been doing this for 6,000ish years and they still don't know what to call it.
Now, to be fair, they're doing this in secret knowing that if either side finds out they'll be destroyed. So, can't really blame 'em for not knowing what to call it.
"I don't know. We might have both started off as angels, but you are fallen."
Gee wiz, Aziraphale! I get that you have to ground yourself in your deeply instilled rote morality, but way to alienate the love of your life, dude!
"I need a favor." "We already have the Agreement, Crowley..."
Before, Aziraphale didn't want to put a label on that, either. Now, we saw back with Shakespeare that Crowley's the one who came up with that label.
But labeling aspects of their relationship is easy for Crowley. Labeling them is another thing entirely. And it's the last thing on Crowley's mind—this time he's actively asking for something outside the norm.
This is a new layer to their trust in one another. Crowley is asking Aziraphale to take a huge risk, and Aziraphale is mis-reading the situation.
"Out of the question." "Why not?" "It would destroy you. I'm not bringing you a suicide pill, Crowley." "That's not what I want it for."
They're talking past one another. Yes, I know this is classic them. But before the bickering can get much further, Aziraphale drops this on him:
"I'm not an idiot, Crowley. Do you know what trouble I'd be in if... if they knew I'd been fraternising?" ... "Fraternising?"
"Fraternising" applies to brotherhood and friendship. To this point, the only one we've seen call them "friends" was an outsider at the Theater. Neither of them has yet adopted the moniker "friend" when addressing the other or speaking conversationally about the other.
And, yes, we're going with the English spelling on this one. No, the characters aren't actually English. But they've both chosen English accents for their existence, so we're gonna roll with it.
"I have lots of other people to fraternise with, Angel." "Of course you do." "I don't need you." "And the feeling is mutual, obviously."
Of course these two idiots need each other. They're utterly alone in the world without one another—both aligned with a side... as far as they can go... but also with each other.
But Crowley is lashing out. Because he's not ready to put a label on this, and he has to keep himself distanced from Aziraphale and anyone associated with his former bosses.
And Aziraphale's fighting to maintain his very black-and-white view of good and evil, here, so as soon as Crowley seems ready to walk away, so is he. Though, we all know deep down neither of them truly want that.
In a fit of anger, Aziraphale flings the paper at the water. And, in an appropriate measure of response, the scrap obeys the laws of physics and flits down to the water rather than sinking into it like a thrown stone.
That's how we leave them (so far as we know)... at odds and decoupled in 1862.
Then comes 1941. The blissfully gullible angel has tried to do right and found himself in the snares of a trap. Bless his heart. (Yes, I'm a Southern Yank—which sounds contradictory, but I briefly studied at Leicester, so I know what my Uni mates'd call me)
"What are you doing here?"
The last interaction of which we're aware prior to this is the one where Crowley dramatically announced he didn't need Aziraphale, and our angel boy responded in kind.
So, while there have been many scrapes before where Crowley played hero to Aziraphale's damsel-in-distress, our angel wasn't awaiting rescue this time. He's genuinely surprised to see Crowley there.
But Crowley has had time in the in-between to consider their friendship and what it would mean to him if Aziraphale were to be discorporated, and if that would lead to him losing his place on Earth. Crowley can't have that.
Aziraphale assumes Crowley's there with the baddies. But, no, he's there for his angel.
"I just didn't want to see you embarrassed."
Watch Aziraphale soak that in. He turns his head to the left, away from Crowley, as he often does when confused or struck by something his sweet demon has said.
"Anthony?" "You don't like it?" "No, no. I didn't say that. I'll get used to it." ... "What does the J stand for?" "It's just a J, really."
Without so much as an apology from either one, they've fallen into a familiar rhythm. And, yes, apologies are very important, and these two need to get the hang of them, someday. But we can clearly see why they've survived so long without them.
When you're about the be discorporated at any moment, time for apologies is short.
"And if, in thirty seconds, a bomb does land here, it would take a real miracle for my friend and I to survive it." "A real miracle."
Of course, we're all focusing on the fact that Crowley is saying, "I did the bomb, you're doing the saving". But there's also a key word in there... friend.
Not so long ago (in their time, anyway), Crowley was incensed at the use of the word "fraternising", yet here he is calling this angel his friend.
I think in the time apart, Crowley realized just how important Aziraphale is to him. He really doesn't get along with the other demons on a social level, and he's failed to make any lasting human attachments. In all the universe, there's one being he can count on—his angel.
So, while we all know "friend" barely begins to cover it with these two, Crowley is finally ready for that label. Friends.
"That was very kind of you." "Shut up."
There's Aziraphale trying to thank Crowley without thanking him, once again pointing out what he sees as angelic traces in the demon before him.
And there's Crowley rejecting those same traces with all his being because he's embraced his exile internally and can't sever from that headspace anymore than Aziraphale from his desire for Heaven's affirmation and acceptance.
"Oh, the book! Oh, I forgot all the books."
Because in this moment of importance, he's going to prioritize Crowley. He put everything he had into keeping them from being discorporated.
But Crowley's wearing a smirk with flare. While the angel flails, Crowley strides confidently to the waiting bag of books.
"Oh, they'll all be blown to…"
His words trail off as he sees Crowley's right hand holding the precious bag. The music shifts as soon as Aziraphale makes the realization—Crowley saved the books.
"Little demonic miracle of my own. Lift home?"
Their fingers barely overlap as they exchange the bag, Crowley looking to not make a big deal of this. But it is a big deal.
Much as Gabriel was smitten with Beelzebub for a gift, Aziraphale is swayed by Crowley's first true act of love towards him this side of Heaven.
Yes, Crowley has saved Aziraphale multiple times. They've crossed paths over and over. But something's different. This time, Crowley called them friends. This time, there was something extra.
And while I know we were all taken in by Aziraphale looking at Crowley like he'd hung the moon and stars in the sky... which he technically did... there's a little sigh there that makes me wonder—was this the moment Aziraphale felt love from Crowley for the first time?
Remember, Aziraphale feels love. And we can tell he's enamored with Crowley long before this moment. Remember how his eyes lit up to hear his love's voice when he was locked in the Bastille? Remember the heart eyes he gave Crowley in hopes that the demon would work a miracle for Hamlet?
Yes, I believe Aziraphale feels his own affection for Crowley growing... but in part because he feels Crowley's love for him.
Now, there are many types of love. It doesn't have to necessarily be romantic (though we all know it is). But it plays into Aziraphale's prevailing theory that the demon is at least a little good and capable of good things—including love.
I think it's easy to pass off waves of love from around you as something else when you're not touching the person who loves you. Because they did touch as they traded that precious bag of books.
And that was an act of love. Beyond saving lives, Crowley protected something material that held meaning for Aziraphale. We all know Crowley's repeatedly stated that he doesn't read books. He doesn't adore them as Aziraphale does—but that doesn't matter.
Crowley saved the books because no matter what they meant to him—nothing—he knew they meant the world to the one who means the world to him.
It was an act of love. And I fully believe Aziraphale felt it.
Slipping into Season 2 with that same night, we can see that Aziraphale's still reveling in that feeling in the car with Crowley as they race through the embattled streets of London during the Blitz.
I paused it at a particularly adoring look from Aziraphale to Crowley. I mean, he's basking in his love.
"You know, that was a very nice thing you did for me." "Shut up." "There must be something I can do for you in return?" "Forget it, will you?"
Crowley's not ready to talk about it. He's never ready to talk about it... not until it's too late. And it's always too late, right?
But Aziraphale is fully enamored and looking for a way to reciprocate. This goes outside their usual Arrangement, and you can tell he's filled with feelings and wants to channel them into an act of love for Crowley.
And Crowley's brushing it off. Because it's easier for him to act than it is for him to talk. If you label it or try to define it, he's going to jump ship. But if you let it be, he's happy to ride the wave of... whatever this is.
Rather than wait in the car, Aziraphale follows Crowley inside. They're both savoring the time together, this time. It's somehow different, and I love that.
"Um, I wonder if I might be able to help you on behalf of my... uh, good friend here."
And, there it is. Aziraphale sees a way to live one of his greatest fantasies and help out Crowley. He has nothing to give him, but this'll do the trick, eh?
Also, look at him adopting "friend" as quickly as Crowley was willing to claim it. While Crowley is the one pushing them forward in many ways, he holds them back in others. This was a case where Aziraphale was a little faster to move forward emotionally than Crowley.
And this is the first night they've spent together in some time, if what we know of canon holds true.
Why am I going into all this!? Because, 1941 feels like one of the bigger turning points of their relationship. Of course, Job was, too. But I spent so much time watching that final confrontational scene of Season 2 Episode 6 only to keep returning to 1941 in my head.
I saw folks positing that Crowley's confession was the first time Aziraphale felt his beloved's love... but I argue he's felt it in waves throughout the centuries and been able to dismiss it as coming from somewhere else.
When their fingers touched in 1941 as Crowley gave Aziraphale a most-treasured gift—his books' survival—it was undeniable. Aziraphale felt Crowley's love.
And he spends the rest of this night trying to return Crowley's affection.
"Cheers for getting me off the hook." "Oh, there's no need to thank me. That's what... friends... are for."
He's still testing it out. The last time he used a word even close to that, Crowley had walked out of his life for half a century. But this time Crowley isn't correcting him, and Aziraphale loves that.
"You're going to need a 100% reliable marksman. Someone you can really trust." ... "Oh, I've got the perfect man for the job. At least, I think I have."
There's no question in Aziraphale's mind that he trusts Crowley enough to aim a bloody firearm at his face, pull the trigger, and that he'll be just fine afterwards.
And Crowley knows he's never fired a gun, but he also knows that if he doesn't say yes to this, his angel's gonna try to find someone else who will—and he can't have that.
He knows he'll miracle it away if something goes wrong. Crowley has to be the one to keep his angel out of harm's way.
"Haven't you fired a gun before?" "Not as such."
You. Two. Idiots. Seriously gotta work on your communication skills. but watch how Crowley's trigger finger actually shakes as he feels the weight of Aziraphale's trust in him.
That's love. That absolute trust. And while Crowley doesn't fully understand what's going on between them, he knows he can't betray that trust. He can't let anything happen to Aziraphale, and he's going to find a way to protect him.
Afterwards, backstage they're sharing the evening like a pair of old lovers celebrating a win. Crowley's lounging on the chaise longue. A triumphant Aziraphale winds a feathered boa around his neck. They're reveling in this moment, and it's the most relaxed we've seen them together to this point.
They could have gone separate ways as soon as the trick was achieved, but Crowley chooses to stay with Aziraphale. He's spent the last 50 years without him, realizing just how much this angel means to him, so he lingers.
Afterwards, they're back in the bookshop sharing wine on what Crowley believes may be his last night on Earth. He chose to spend it with the person he most wanted to be near.
And, yes, Aziraphale knows that he switched out the photo, but Crowley doesn't. For all his anger at their last meeting about "fraternising", it's all he seems to want to do, now.
Aziraphale notes that Crowley's glass is empty and fills it—a small act of love... but it's there. Feeling enamored and inspired, he tests the waters of discussion.
"I, uh, I knew you would come through for me. You always do."
Crowley tosses it off, but doesn't completely ignore the subject, for once.
"Well, you said, 'trust me'." "And you did."
He almost whispers it, like the three little words a lover whispers affectionately to their dear one. It's trust.
For an angel to be able to trust a demon... for a demon to be able to trust an angel... that right there is so far outside the bounds of what they both have been told is supposed to be.
But in one another they found one being in existence that they know will trust them wholeheartedly, and whom they can trust in return.
"You could've walked away. If you were truly as evil as you like to paint yourself, you would've done." "Nah, that's the trouble with you lot. You tend to see things in black and white. Sometimes, you've just gotta blur the edges."
And, let's be honest, his lot tend to see things the same way. Crowley is unique in that he truly wishes to understand. It's not that he wanted to thwart the will of God. He wanted to understand what was happening, to question it, to delve deeper than unanswered, unwavering dedication to a "Great Plan" that didn't make sense.
In Aziraphale, he's found someone as close to his morality as he'll ever discover (someone who goes as far as he can, but ultimately has a separate moral code). But Aziraphale lacks Crowley's distance from Heaven, and thus lacks his perspective. That'll eventually catch up to them.
But, tonight, they're both savoring the seconds of shared security. In the safety of the bookshop, they toast to, well, them.
"Well maybe there is something to be said for... shades of grey."
Aziraphale holds out his glass to Crowley, inviting the agreement. And, of course, Crowley will drink to that. Because that's where their love lies. In the black and white, it wouldn't be possible.
But because these two beings are able to think in the grey, to live in the grey, to love in the grey... they have a snowball's chance in hell of making it. Because something majorly shifts between them in 1941.
Yes, they've been doing this love dance since the beginning. But I think in feeling Crowley's love, Aziraphale is that tiny bit more emboldened.
Yet even after all that... Aziraphale hasn't quite reciprocated Crowley's act of love. Yes, he got him out of a bind with the delivery, but we can argue that Crowley had to rescue him right back with the bullet drama.
Enter 1967. We can assume that these two saw each other again in 1941 based on the fact that the "I was wrong, you were right" dance was in-play and we didn't see it. But we don't know what else might've transpired before 1967.
All we know is that Crowley's planning a "caper" to get the one thing he thinks he needs for insurance... the one thing Aziraphale outright denied him when he asked as a favour.
Crowley slides into his Bentley as the familiar swish of Aziraphale's miracle magic fills the air. The demon's tail lands in his seat just as the angel appears.
"What are you doing here?"
He's echoing Aziraphale's words from 1941. This isn't one of their planned clandestine meetings, and Aziraphale clearly doesn't want to risk the tiniest chance at an audience overhearing or witnessing this exchange.
Where the bookshop is the angel's sanctuary, this Bentley is Crowley's. And they're about to have a very secret exchange.
"I needed a word with you." "What?" "I work in SoHo. I hear things. I hear you're setting up a... caper to rob a church."
In a very Aziraphale coded move, Crowley looks away from the angel at the mention of an uncomfortable topic.
"Crowley, it's too dangerous. Holy Water won't just kill your body. It will destroy you completely." "You told me what you think 105 years ago." "And I haven't changed my mind, but I can't have you risking your life."
Here's the thing, as much as Crowley felt fiercely protective of Aziraphale in 1941, that's how much more Aziraphale feels now. That level of trust and love builds and builds.
Because what Aziraphale is saying to Crowley right now is—I can't lose you. Even though I hate this. Even though I don't want this for you, if it means I get to protect you, I'll do whatever it takes. Because I need you.
Which is why Aziraphale gives Crowley the Holy Water without understanding why he wants it. It's a gift without strings, without conditions, without preamble. Because Aziraphale knows if he's the one to do it... Crowley will at least be safe for now.
Just as Crowley agreed to do the shooting trick... for the exact same reason.
And while Crowley doesn't feel love in the air the way Aziraphale does, he does feel it from his angel. He understand the risks that Aziraphale took for him. And it means even more that his angel took these risks without understanding the reason... simply because this angel trusts this demon.
Crowley's lips part as he accepts the gift, and the two are very careful not to let their fingers touch, this time. Perhaps Aziraphale already feels quite exposed and doesn't want to risk the rush of another wave of love.
"Should I say thank you?" "Better not."
Aziraphale can't even look at Crowley. He's terrified he's just given the love of his life a suicide pill, but also so thankful to know he's safe, for now.
"Well, can I drop you anywhere?" "No, thank you. Oh, don't look so disappointed. Perhaps one day we could, I don't know... go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz."
And this scene really shows me that Aziraphale is not oblivious to what's going on here and how he feels. But, he's placing very clear boundaries on where he hopes they can someday reach... sharing meals together in public.
Because I tend to agree with those who say that celestial beings love differently. We saw with Gabriel and Beelzebub that there was almost nothing physical to their affection. Their connection was enough for them. Without labels. Without definitions. Just... love.
But I think Aziraphale and Crowley are different, still, from the other celestial beings... partially because of their long time spent on Earth.
They like to eat and drink. They both like to listen to Earth music (though on different ends of the spectrum). Crowley canonically likes to go to the movies. Aziraphale soaks up books like sunshine, and loves learning new "human" things the human way.
These two can love in a purely celestial way. But, I argue they both have formed ideas of love that are a little different from their peers. They experience so much of existence in the human manner that it's impossible for their perspective of love to not be thus colored.
And right now, Crowley is feeling the impact of Aziraphale's love, much as the angel felt his in 1941.
"I'll give you a lift anywhere you wanna go."
Crowley is willing to let Aziraphale set the destination, here. And he'll go. Anywhere. Anywhere with him.
But Aziraphale's not quite ready for it. He knows he doesn't want to lose Crowley, but he doesn't yet know how to move past his angelic programming to fully embrace what they can be to one another.
"You go too fast for me, Crowley."
My. Heart. Stopped. The first time I heard this sentence come out of Aziraphale's mouth, I had to immediately rewind and rewatch. Because the hardest part for these two is always going to be the boundaries they put up in their own minds.
They've spent a long, long time on "opposite sides" while sharing an existence built on half-truths and trauma. They're both traumatized and both struggling through it. It's a miracle (heh) that in all this they've found one another at all.
And when it all comes crashing down in that truly devastating confession/kiss at the end of Season 2... Oh, they're both breaking apart because that trust that has been the foundation of everything for so long finally feels broken.
Crowley admits what they are. Out loud. No more, "Shut up" or "Forget about it". He opens himself up in a way he never imagined to the one being he could always trust.
And David Tennant takes us on the ride of our lives. Look, I'm a long-time fan of Tennant, starting with when he took over the role of The Doctor. But, golly, he destroyed us all with this confession.
Crowley removes his glasses before his beloved at the start of the conversation. And once he realizes how lost Aziraphale is to the system, he could have given up and left. Instead, he gathers his courage to speak his truth.
They're a team. A group of two. And he wants to spend... every second with him. Just being... them.
And they can't really run away from it all. It'll find them, eventually. But they also can't go rushing into the lion's den wide-eyed and unprepared.
But neither's truly hearing the other right now.
Aziraphale wants to bring Crowley with him to change things from the inside. Crowley sees there's no changing anything, and wants to spend whatever time he has left loving Aziraphale.
And. He. Falls.
Aziraphale isn't there to catch him. Because our poor sweet angel has drank the Heavenly kool-aid and earnestly believes he can make Heaven better for his beloved fallen angel.
They're both so bitterly lost.
Crowley covers his eyes and stalks away, muttering "good luck" to his thoroughly confused angel. They're both confused, really.
Because they both want to ultimately be together, but they're talking past one another. The mixed messages that once shielded them through suspicion and scrutiny have sealed their undoing. At least, for now.
In a last-ditch effort to get through to Aziraphale, Crowley takes a truly human approach with "one fabulous kiss". But it's not loving or tender. It's hurt. It's angry. It's as broken as they are.
Crowley takes one step, two steps, hands land on Aziraphale on step three before he gather's the angel's lapel in his hands and tugs him in. The choreography probably had to be perfect for poor David Tennant to make his mark through the glasses and contacts.
As their lips connect, Aziraphale's eyes widen in confusion. But it doesn't taken long for them to close, and as he relaxes into the kiss, his brow furrows as he presses himself into Crowley, wrapping his arms briefly around him.
When the perspective shifts and we're looking at the kiss from Crowley's back, Aziraphale's hand slides down Crowley's shoulder blades, where his angelic/demonic wings rest, hidden from human eyes. The angel's answering Crowley, now.
But fear kicks in, and the angel starts to flail. He's terrified. He's terrified of what he feels. Of what he wants. Of what this means. And he's heartbroken that Crowley would do this now when he's already refused Aziraphale's offer.
But the angel never. breaks. away.
He doesn't shove Crowley off. He waits until Crowley releases him to step back, and once he does he's overcome with emotions. There are too many feelings, too many thoughts, too many possibilities.
And Michael Sheen takes us through all the heartache, the pain, the longing, the hurt, the love, the devastation... Oh, he gives us every emotion and then some.
His, "I forgive you" cuts in jagged edges along our souls, like a papercut shreds skin, but on a cosmic level. And it shatters Crowley, similarly.
They part ways... broken.
Aziraphale is gutted to watch him go. More than any other time, this one feels final. In his confusion and pain, Aziraphale's trembling fingers find their way to his mouth, the taste of Crowley still fresh on his lips.
He presses his fingers against his mouth, trying to figure out where that sensation came from, but all he can recreate is a dim memory of the feelings crashing through him when Crowley's lips met his.
But the one thing that gives me hope is how Aziraphale keeps looking out that window. He can feel Crowley there. He can feel Crowley's love.
I've often wondered how they constantly find one another. Can Crowley feel where Aziraphale is and makes sure to be close in case of calamity, claiming that he's in town for a temptation? Does Aziraphale feel where Crowley may be and maneuvers himself as close as possible while feigning nearby blessings?
Because in the wake of their heartbreak, it's clear that he knows exactly where Crowley is.
He steps back to look out that window because he know that's where Crowley will be. He knows that Crowley hasn't peeled out of there in his Bentley. He knows he's waiting for him.
He feels Crowley's love. And when the Metatron confirms Crowley's words by mentioning the Second Coming, the way that Aziraphale looks back that last time feels charged.
I feel like Aziraphale wanted to run back right then exclaiming, "You were right. I was wrong!" But he can't. I mean, the Metatron is standing right there and expects him to come up and run this thing. If Aziraphale backs out now, who will be in position to stop this thing once and for all?
And maybe, maybe Aziraphale can protect the being he loves most by being in the room where it happens. Maybe that's the key, right?
But this is all projection. I'm more clueless than most of you because I've yet to read the book (yes, I will prioritize it after I finish these script notes!).
These are just my uninformed thoughts! But, I really do think that Aziraphale feels Crowley's love. And I think he's felt it for a very long time, at least since 1941. And I really can't wait until we get our Season 3 renewal notice.
Will I ever write full Metas on this ship? Gee, I don't know. We shall see, I suppose (which is only marginally less annoying than "wait and see").
Be good to one another. Spread love. Choose kindness. Give yourself grace. And don't forget to breathe.
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