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askkrenko · 4 years

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Krenko’s Guide to Creature Types: Elf

Art by Scott Murphy

What is an Elf (flavorfully)?

Elves are basically just better humans. They don’t have any cool abilities or traits that humans don’t have, but they live longer, have better senses, are stronger, faster, wiser, prettier, and just all around superior. Except none of this is translated into mechanics and most of this never comes up. The vast majority of the time, Elves are just Humans with Pointy Ears that happen to be more in tune with nature.

Elves are consistently disappointing as a flavorful, narrative device, and only Lorwyn//Shadowmoor really put forth the effort to make its elves their own unique race with an obviously non-human culture and more distinct visual differences.

What is an Elf (mechanically)?

Elf is the undisputed green characteristic race, appearing on nearly 400 cards at the time of this writing, the vast majority of them green. Elves tend to have low power and toughness, and a significant portion of Elves either generate mana or interact with land in some way. Historically, this was obviously an Elf ability, but since the Grand Creature Type Update, it’s a bit fuzzy whether the ability is more tied to the Elf race or the Druid class- almost a quarter of all Elves are Druids, and Druids almost universally interact with lands. Still, many Elf Druids were originally printed as just Elf, and there’s enough non-Druid Elves with mana and land interaction that we can say this is a part of what Elves do.

As a characteristic race, Elf has a lot of variety, and tends to pick up a lot of random abilities, so actual Elf identity is pretty loose, but generating mana and going wide with small creatures tends to be pretty common.

Pictured: My personal favorite mana-generating Elf Druid

Can I make an Elf deck?

If you’ve played Magic long enough, it’s hard to not make an Elf deck at some point. Elf is one of the tribes with the most rewards in the game. Elves are solid in Legacy, Modern, and Commander, and have frequently been top-tier Standard decks. Traditionally, Elf decks involve taking advantage of extra mana to throw all your Elves onto the field as fast as possible, then using those Elves to generate enough mana to win outright, such as with Fireball, Ezuri, Renegade Leader or Craterhoof Behemoth. More traditional strategies, involving multiple Elf Lords, are also options.

The most important Elves for constructed play are Heritage Druid, who in a roundabout way gives your Elves haste to tap for mana, Elvish Archdruid, who taps for mana equal to the number of Elves you control, and Elvish Visionary, who gets an Elf body on the board without costing a card.

Elf decks are always green, but the second color, if there is one, varies from meta to meta and even deck to deck. Lorwyn and Magic Origins made Black a popular choice, but there’s no wrong answer if your elves can make the colors.

With over 40 Legendary Elves, commander options for an Elf tribal deck run wide. Curiously, many Legendary Elves are not only not suitable for Elf Tribal, but are actually tribal lords of another type entirely. Thelon is a Fungus lord, and Tolsmir, Friend to Wolves is… well, no points for guessing that one.

Dwynen, Gilt-Leaf Liege, seems like an obvious option for a commander, but honestly, an anthem effect and incidental life gain is a bit small for the format. Dwynen is certainly a great card on its own, but it just lacks the oomf necessary to be a good commander.

Eladamri is sometimes a great Elf commander, if your opponent has forests, but the Shroud ability simply isn’t a big deal on weak creatures. Elves are weak to board wipes, not targeted removal. He’s great to run in an Elf deck, especially to protect your Commander, but as the Commander he’s too defensive.

Ezuri, Renegade Leader is probably the best mono-green choice for Elves. He enables an Elf deck to turn any excess mana into raw power and defense, protects your field from board wipes, and can sometimes manage to pull off games with Commander damage if too many of your other Elves stay dead.

Marwyn, the Nurturer can get some very high power and toughness in an Elf deck, and with proper equipment can ramp very hard and very fast. Unfortunately, she’s a bit fragile and doesn’t do anything the turn she comes into play, so she often winds up being too small for Commander.

Momir Vig, Simic Visionary, is actually pretty great as an Elf commander. There’s enough cards that replicate his second ability that he works fine with just green creatures, and adding blue to the mix enables a lot of solid backup plans and support cards. A Momir Vig Elf deck plays an Elf, tutors another Elf, immediately draws it, plays it, tutors and draws another Elf, and basically just vomits a board full of Elves. It can be truly terrifying to behold.

Nath of the Gilt-Leaf can create a lot of Elf tokens very quickly with the right cards, but he’s really only being mentioned here because he’s Black. There’s a number of Black/Green Legendary Elves, but Nath is the only one that specifically helps a normal Elf strategy. Storrev, Jarad, and Izoni are all fine, and you might arguably want to use one of those instead, but the simple fact is that Black opens up a lot of power to go-wide creature strategies in its ability to recur your entire graveyard at once late game, and it has a lot of removal spells that Green simply doesn’t.

Rhys the Redeemed creates Elf tokens, and this can work well in a go-wide Elf tribal deck, though I find he works better in a more generic tokens deck, using his second ability with cards like Advent of the Wurm.

Rofellos is banned. For good reason. Moving on.

Yeva, Nature’s Herald, is just all around good. Though she doesn’t have specific Elf synergy, she’s got a strong ability that works on Elves. She’s a fine choice for mono-green and creates a much more reactive, surprising deck than the all-in-and-pray Ezuri.

Is Elf a good creature type?

Mechanically, I really have no problems with Elf. It sits comfortably as a characteristic race, it’s featured a solid amount and has a wide variety but still manages to have its own identity (even if that bleeds in with Druid,) and it frequently gets support cards. Elf has been around since Alpha and has been doing Elf things since Tempest, and it honestly really shows. What’s especially good about Elf as a creature type is that despite being Green’s characteristic, Elf very rarely goes on those thick, aggressive, meaty creatures that Green is known for, making it very clear that they’re the normal people in Green and not the angry beatsticks… except when you put them on a Kavu. Personally, I refuse to believe the Elf Knight is a relevant part of Steel Leaf Champion’s power and toughness.

My only real complaint with Elf is in visual design. A significant majority of Elves are ‘humans with pointy ears.’ This is boring, and I honestly don’t know the significant biological differences between an Elf and a Human on most worlds. I don’t even know which one’s generally taller. Onslaught Block, Mirrodin, and Lorwyn//Shadowmoor gave us some great Elf designs, but on most worlds they look almost entirely human. Give me something lanky, something otherworldly, something hauntingly beautiful. Goblins get fresh new designs for every world, so why can’t Elves?

#Krenko's Guide #Elves #mtg #magic the gathering

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flourhurricane · 5 years

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A Fallout OC Interview

I snagged this from @life-is-no-sugarlicking because it looked like fun. Tagging: if you want to be tagged, thus you shall be.

Onward to the Q&A!

What is your name? “My full name is Osa Claire Lockhart. Everybody calls me Claire. Sometimes General, or Bullseye. But usually, it’s just Claire.”

How old are you? “Oh, um, do you want my literal age? I don’t like counting the 210 years I spent frozen inside a cryopod, so let’s just say I’m 33.”

What do you look like? “I’m a short gal with long -- longish? yeah, longish -- red hair, blue eyes, and some freckles around my nose and cheeks. And I guess I’m brawny for a woman. Working out helps me keep a clear head. And, you know, alive. But let me tell you: you can have as many muscles as my hubby and you can still end up with a Deathclaw’s claw marks on your cheek. Which... I did. In my defense, the power armor I wore was fitted for some tall dude and it was the first time I’d ever seen one of them beasts.”

Where are you from? Where do you live now? “I’m from a very small town in Texas called Blue Fields, named after all the bluebonnets that used to grow there. When I turned 18, I joined the army. I was stationed in the Yukon for a while, then Anchorage, Alaska... and then, when I was discharged, I moved back home. Graduated from Texas A&M, then moved to Cambridge, Massachusetts when I was accepted into Harvard Law School. When I got married, I moved to Sanctuary Hills. Nowadays, I live in Diamond City in the Commonwealth... Wow, I’ve lived in a lot of places.”

What was your childhood like? “It... wasn’t that great, but Mom tried to give me and my brothers as many good memories as she could.”

What groups are your friendly with? Are you allied with any factions? “I’m the General of the Minutemen. I can be friendly with any group that wants to help the people of the Commonwealth. And ‘people’ includes humans, synths, and ghouls.”

Tell me about your best friend. “My best friend? Well... I assume you mean my best friend outside of any family members. That would be Preston. I don’t know what would’ve happened to me if he hadn’t asked me to join the Minutemen. Because I, um, don’t do well alone, and I was in a dark... very dark place when I left the vault. Helping Preston and the Quincy survivors gave me a purpose. One other than revenge. And I... don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay him.”

Do you have a family? Tell me about them! “Growing up, my family was my mom and dad, my older brother, my younger brother, and our abuela. I got married after graduating law school, and Nate and I had a baby boy we named Sean. Almost all of them are gone now, obviously.”

What about a partner or partners? “Danse and I got married a few months ago. He used to be a Brotherhood of Steel paladin but that’s a whole other can of worms. He’s still my hero in power armor, though.”

Who are your enemies and why? “Um... There are groups in the Commonwealth that I dislike and the Institute has been destroyed for months now. But enemies? Not at the moment. Some people see me as the enemy. Lot of Institute refugees won’t accept any help from me or the Minutemen. Can’t really blame them.”

Have you ever heard of the Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them? “Oh, I’ve heard of them. I’m still grateful for their help. I’m still good friends with Scribe Haylen, and I guess Knight Rhys, too. But let me just say Elder Maxson and I are currently not on speaking terms.”

What about the Enclave? “Everything I know about the Enclave are things Danse and Deacon have told me. Apparently, they’re the remnants of the United States’ government. I bet they were all the cowards who sent us soldiers to fight the wars they made.”

How do you feel about Super Mutants? “I listened to some of the holotapes I found in the old Robotics lab...” Claire physically shivers. “All the people they kidnapped, they turned them into super mutants and released them into the Commonwealth. It’s awful. But when one of ‘em attacks you, you don’t have the luxury to feel guilty.”

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in? “Oh God, you’d think it’d be the time I met Cait and fought her in the Combat Zone. But no. It’s got to be that ‘fake’ fight that was meant to give Travis some confidence. I might have broken one of them goon’s nose, and then Vadim refused to pay him and his partner. Don’t tell Vadim I said this but he kinda deserved to be kidnapped.”

Have you ever fought Deathclaw? “Yeah, that’s how I got the pretty scars on my cheek.”

Do you like fighting? “I don’t like fighting but it’s unavoidable in the wasteland.”

What’s your weapon of choice? “A tried and true 10mm pistol and the laser rifle Danse gave me. But if I need something with a bit of oomph, I’ll use a gauss rifle. That thing saved my ass when the Institute attacked the Castle.”

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, or some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L.?) “I’m a medal-winning sharpshooter -- not that I’m bragging -- I can ran faster than most raiders, and... I listen to people. You might not think being a good listener will help you survive the Commonwealth but people want to be heard. That hasn’t changed in over 200 years.”

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them? “... Yes. I’ve been in a vault. I’m alive because of a vault. I’d rather stay away from most of them, though.”

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you? “Well, I haven’t turned into a ghoul, so that’s something. I take a Rad-X every morning and seek shelter whenever a radstorm rolls through. That’s about all anyone can do.”

What’s your favorite wasteland critter? “Probably the radchickens and the brahmin.”

What’s your least favorite wasteland critter? “Mole rats. I don’t care if Deacon thinks they’re so ugly they’re cute, they JUMP out from the underGROUND.”

How do you feel about robots? “Codsworth waited for over 200 years for someone -- anyone -- from my family to leave the vault and find him. Most robots are built to perform one task and they do it well, but Codsworth? He’s irreplaceable.”

How many caps do you have on you right now? “Answering that question is a great way to get robbed.”

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla? “Both drinks were widely available in Texas but I’ve always been a Nuka Cola girl. My favorite flavor Nuka Victory but stores in the northeast only ever sold it during the summer. Unless you went to Nuka World.”

Do you do chems? “No. I remember when in Anchorage our superior officers would overlook any psycho and jet use, but I never touched it. Too worried I’d end up like my dad and my older brother.”

Do you ever think about the pre-war world? “Not as much as I did when I left the vault. I still miss it sometimes.”

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently? “... I don’t think I can talk about that right now.”

What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve? “I used to think my biggest achievement was becoming a lawyer but everything paled in comparison to becoming a mom. Wow, that sounds really cliche, doesn’t it?” Claire takes a deep breath to keep from crying. “I guess my deepest regret and my biggest achievement will always have Sean in common.”

What do you want for your future? For yourself? Your friends? The world? Claire takes a moment to answer. “I want to see the Commonwealth thrive. I want it to be a land for the people. I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but if the West has the NCR, I don’t see why the East can’t have the Commonwealth.”

#fallout #fallout ocs #fallout 4 #oc: claire lockhart #sole survivor

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mrspettyferr · 6 years

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Rosehall

A/N: Had to do it. Post ACOFAS. Elriel.

Updated to include part 2.

- - -

Since the war, Elain did not have visions. She had dreams.

She still dreamed of the raging, fiery queen. The black onyx box and the glimmering lake. She dreamed of a towering mountain. Of a child that she could not ever truly see. A white marble throne room. She dreamed of great beasts dancing around a fire and a downpour of rain that flooded the streets of Velaris. But there was one recurring dream that somehow felt the most real.

Roses.

There were roses everywhere, in a garden of light and wonder. Roses of all colors: red, yellow, white, pink. Elain could have sworn the roses were talking to her, and just as she would bend down to listen better, she’d hear her name. Every time she would hear her name—from a voice she did not know, a voice far away.

“Elain?”

“Hello? Who’s there?” She tried to follow the voice, pushing past the vivid roses, dragging her hands through the petals and ignoring the thorns that struck her.

“Elain?”

“I’m here…where are you?”

She would look, and look, calling out to that voice, but she’d never find it.

She’d just wake up.

Elain blinked, realizing with a slight surprise that her dream had crept back into her mind. It had been two weeks since Solstice—two weeks since Nesta had walked out the door. Elain still felt sick about it. She had nearly begged Feyre to change her mind. But deep down Elain knew that Nesta…Nesta did not fit in here. She had tried. The others did not see it, perhaps could not see it, but she had. And she had been there for Elain when…when Elain did not quite fit in. When she had struggled—was still struggling—in this new life.

But Elain had found purpose. Or she was trying to. She had talked to Feyre and Mor about opening a small bakery or a greenhouse in Velaris. To which Mor had said why not a bakeryinside a greenhouse. Elain thought it a brilliant idea. She wanted it to be as colorful and grand as in her dreams.

She wanted Nesta to have that. To find purpose, to find a dream and make it real.

Satisfied with the delicate roses she had molded—stained a deep red from the juices of fresh raspberries—Elain placed them on the sweet almond flavored cake. The cake would be packaged and sent to the Illyrian camp, where Nesta and Cassian were. She’d also pack a jar of orange marmalade and fresh biscuits, along with some fruits and hard cheese. It was not much, but she wanted to send something. To remind her sister that she was thinking of her. And missed her.

“That looks very nice, Lady,” said Nuala, appearing on silent feet in a whisk of shadow.

“Not quite as lovely as your design with Cerridwen, I’m afraid,” said Elain.

Cerridwen, who had also quietly appeared at that moment, chuckled. “All in good practice, Lady. Would you like it packaged with your other items and sent to Lord Cassian?”

Elain was about to say to my sister, but realized a package marked for Nesta Archeron at an Illyrian warrior’s camp may very well not see the light of day. They would not be foolish enough to tamper with something addressed to the General of the Night Court. Though Elain hoped he opened it in private.

“Yes, thank you. I think it’s as good as it will get.” Elain added one final rose and licked the bits of remaining icing from her fingers. A hint of vanilla, but not as sweet as the buttercream iced over the cake. No, the icing used for molding had to be of thicker consistency.

Nuala and Cerridwen nodded, took the cake, and vanished.

Alone in the kitchen, Elain decided to tidy up. She was in the middle of wiping down the counter, a spoon of buttercream in her mouth, when she felt him.

Slowly, she pulled out the spoon and set it on the table. Without looking up she said, “You are losing your touch, Spymaster.”

A soft chuckle. “Perhaps I wanted you to hear me.”

“Perhaps,” Elain amended. Now she did turn and looked at him. And swallowed a bit hard.

It did not matter how many times she had seen him, Azriel always took her breath away with his beauty. He was standing in the doorway, arms crossed, wearing his typical Illyrian leathers, dark shadows circling his neck. She could have sworn she heard them whispering in his ear. But they did not scare her, not as they swirled around his neck, his legs.

If he noticed her staring, he did not show it. “What did you make today?”

Elain started wiping the counter again. “Just a cake. For Nesta.” Biting her lip, she asked, “How is she? She hasn’t…hasn’t returned my letters.”

Even though Cassian had only been to the house a handful of times since they left, she had not had a chance to speak with him. There were some matters at the camp that had required Cassian to be away. Even Rhysand had been spending a lot of time in those mountains. Elain tried to stay out of it, but she had overheard things like “unstable borders,” “clan fighting,” and something about the females. Azriel, as Spymaster, was no doubt aware of all the happenings in the Night Court, including whatever was happening in the mountains.

Now, he seemed to be considering her. “It is my understanding she is…staying confined to her quarters. Her choice, of course. The males are not thrilled with her presence. As a female, it is expected she contribute and fulfill certain chores.” His tone suggested he did not agree with this. “Cooking, cleaning, laundry…as you can imagine, Nesta has refused.”

Elain fought a smile, but then she thought of her sister staying locked in her room, without an ounce of sunlight and only words on a page as her friend. “Perhaps I should go see her.”

“No.” The word came out so sharply that Elain’s eyes snapped to his. Azriel blinked, seemingly surprised himself, and gently added, “I don’t think you would…it’s even less pleasant than the camps before the war with Hybern. Trust me.”

She nodded, because she did trust him. “But it’s okay for Nesta?”

“Nesta is with Cassian,” he said carefully.

“But wouldn’t I be with you?”

Azriel went very still. Elain just blinked, her hand pausing mid-wipe. How that had sounded…She hadn’t meant…The words had just tumbled out of her.

Suddenly finding the floor very interesting, she added, “What I meant is that…What I mean to say is…Where’s Feyre?”

He was polite enough to accept her swift change of subject and said, “Visiting the Summer Court with Rhys. They will return by dinner.”

The High Lord and Lady had been spending a lot of time there, too.

Elain almost asked why, but thought better of it. Instead she reached for the bowl of sugar, to put it away, when Azriel said, “I’ve got it,” and grabbed the bowl himself.

She flattened against the counter as he moved past her, clutching the spoon to her chest. She watched in awe as the Shadowsinger silently started soaking the work bowls she had used. Watched as he began scrubbing them. He could not look more out of place in the kitchen—the leathers, Truth-teller at his hip, the huge membranous wings. A mighty warrior and Spymaster…cleaning dishes. Elain didn’t know whether to laugh or just keep staring. She settled on neither, grabbing a dry towel and moved to the sink.

Wordlessly Azriel cleaned the dishes and Elain dried and put them away. They worked in silence, a comfortable sort of silence they had always seemed to share. When they finished, Elain thanked him, but ever the gentleman, Azriel had simply bowed his head slightly before excusing himself to return to his duties.

- - -

“Well, what do you think?” asked Feyre.

Elain was beaming as she looked at her sister. “I think it’s perfect.”

Indeed it was. Feyre had purchased a bit of land near her estate for Elain’s bakery. There was so much work to be done: building the greenhouse, putting in the kitchen, décor, staffing, supplies, maintenance. And Feyre would make sure Elain had it all. She always had.

The smile faded from Elain’s face.

“What is it?” Feyre asked, concern flaring in her eyes.

For years Feyre had taken care of them. Provided for them. She had never asked for anything in return. Elain had gladly taken it then. But now…

She turned to her sister and said, very clearly, “I will pay you back for all this, Feyre.”

“Elain—”

“No, I will repay you. I want to…want to earn it. To work for it. And I want to repay you for all you have given me.” Given to us, to me and Nesta.

Feyre shook her head. “We don’t need the money.”

“Then donate it. Do whatever you wish.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Elain. You don’t have to—”

“I know,” Elain interrupted. “But I want to. Don’t you see?”

And maybe she did, because her sister smiled and put an arm around her. “Let’s go home. We have a lot of work ahead of us.”

- - -

By we, it was really Elain. And that was rightly so—it was her project, after all. Feyre and Rhysand had been traveling more and more lately, meeting with the various High Lords. Last night they had left for the Winer Court, taking Amren with them. Mor was busy overseeing the Night Court in their absence. Cassian and Nesta were still away. Azriel was the only one Elain saw on a semi constant basis but even he seemed to be gone more than usual.

The structure was now built. Surrounded by panes of glass, the space was tall and open—and empty. The kitchen and pantry was still being installed in the back, along with a large glass pastry display case and wood counter. Elain was waiting on Mor to help with the décor and furniture that would be scattered through the greenhouse. Plumbing had just been recently installed, along with a single bathroom. She had finally finalized on the flowers and plants, but there was still much to do, including finalizing a menu.

Elain was testing a new recipe—raspberry and lemon tarts—when she heard the kitchen door swing open. She didn’t look up from whisking. Expecting it was Mor, she said, “I was afraid you forgot about me.”

“Of course not.”

That voice.

Elain’s head whipped up in surprise, her arm frozen mid-whisk.

Lucien.

He gave a weary smile. “Hello, Elain. It’s been a while.”

A month, perhaps? Longer?

Her eyes darted around the kitchen. She didn’t know why. It was an effort not to stiffen, to not feel confined in the kitchen. She was more rattled at his sudden appearance than she’d care to admit.

“Yes,” she said finally, mastering herself. “It has. How did you get inside?”

Something flashed in his eyes—had she offended him? “The Spymaster let me in,” he said.

“Oh.” She hadn’t realized Azriel was here. She almost always sensed him, or his shadows. She didn’t know why it bothered her that she hadn’t.

She was content to go back to whisking her custard. To be left alone. He would no doubt get the hint. But…Elain sighed. She had not seen him since Solstice, where he had tried to be cordial and even bought her a gift. Never mind she had not used the gloves once. But…it would not hurt her to be kind, to be polite.

“What brings you here?”

He looked relieved to be asked. “I hear you are opening a bakery.”

“I am trying to.” Now she did begin whisking again. “It’s far from being ready for the grand opening.”

“What sort of goods will you have?”

“Why do you care?” She hadn’t meant to sound so sharp and immediately regretted it. She set down her whisk and added, “I just meant…” She shook her head. Why was talking to him always such a struggle?

“It’s okay.” He ran a hand through his deep red hair. Elain hadn’t noticed until now, but he wore traveling clothes, and looked as though he needed a proper bath. “I have business with Azriel. I’ll go—”

“What sort of business?” She walked around the large island to face him, wiping her hands on her apron.

“Intel on the human lands, mostly.”

Elain nodded. Sometimes she felt as if she lived in a bubble, where plans and schemes and bargains were happening all around her. Sometimes she wanted to ask Feyre more, wanted to be involved. But what could she possibly offer?

“Well, I am sure he is around here somewhere. Probably in the garden.” She turned her back on Lucien, reaching for a cloth to place over the custard before setting it in the ice chest.

It was Lucien’s turn to nod. He turned to leave, his shoulders a bit tight. Elain wasn’t sure what made her do it, but she said, “When my bakery opens, feel free to…to bring your friends and visit.”

Elain had overheard Feyre telling Rhysand that Lucien’s apartment had been empty for some time. He had taken to living with his friends, with Vassa and Jurian. Sometimes Elain wondered if her dreams of the fiery queen were because somehow Lucien’s destiny was tied to it—tied to her.

He turned, his face brightening. He was handsome, if Elain cared to admit it. The strange eye and all. “They would like that—thank you.”

And with that, he left to find Azriel.

- - -

The grand opening was in one week.

Elain had made everyone promise not to take a single peek at her bakery. Only Mor had been allowed, to help with décor and set up. Of course Nuala and Cerridwen had seen it, as they had been in the kitchen helping Elain bake. She had also hired a handful of other females and males.

Inside the glass paned walls were wrought iron tables with matching chairs sprinkled through the room. Various colored flower pots hung from the ceiling, vines of ivy draping the walls. The counter was now complete, with a huge glass case for displaying pastries, the two double doors behind it that lead to the kitchen. The rest of the bakery, she had tried to recreate her dream with a wonderland of roses: bloodred, yellow, white, pink, orange. It wasn’t quite right, not like her dream, but it was close.

“Can we look now?” Cassian complained.

“Patience is a virtue,” Mor said in a sing-song voice.

He snorted. “You know I have none of those.”

Elain looked at her friends—her family—and grinned. They were all blindfolded. Even Amren. Even Nesta, who had come. Her sister seemed to have gained some weight and color back in her face. She was writing to Elain now, and had recently started to train with Cassian. There was more to the story, so much Elain wanted to ask, but she wanted to have that conversation in person and not through a letter.

Tonight was considered a soft opening—an opening just for her family.

“Okay, look!” she said excitedly.

Cassian reacted first by bellowing out an impressive whistle. Nesta, who’s eyes were usually so sharp and guarded, seemed to stare in awe. And when she looked at Elain, her lips parted into a soft smile—a smile full of pride. Feyre looked just as proud and impressed, taking it all in in that way of hers, as if she wanted to paint the scene before her. Mor was beaming, her crimson gown blending in perfectly next to the red rose bushes. Rhysand had a strange look on his face as he beheld the room. He almost looked wistful. And Cassian, now his own mouth—which had been grinning wide like a cat—slowly seemed to fade. He too had a strange look on his face.

“Well done, girl,” said Amren in approval. She plucked a red rose from beside Mor to examine it. The thorns jabbed into her fingers, which she promptly licked off.

“T-Thank you,” Elain stuttered. “Mor chose most of the décor.”

“Nonsense.” Mor waved a hand. “It was your vision. I just helped you bring it to life.”

At last Elain turned to Azriel, as he was standing next to her, and—

He looked stunned, his mouth parted slightly. His shadows, which were normally swirling around his neck, were completely still, like they were frozen. Elain was so alarmed that she gently touched his arm. As if in a trance, he looked at her.

She didn’t know what to say or do with that look on his face—he was completely and utterly speechless. She had no idea why, and quickly moved away as her own face heated. Was there something wrong with the bakery? Too many roses?

Frantically, she gestured wildly with a hand to the large oak table she had Nuala bring in for this evening. “Please, have a seat. I’ll—I’ll be right back.”

Cassian and Rhysand seemed to snap out of whatever odd reverie they were in, and took their seats. The rest followed. Elain headed for the kitchen, noticing that Azriel moved last. She tried not to think about it, to worry about it. Perhaps the three of them had other worries on their minds.

Elain had her head baker prepare everything on the menu: chocolate cake with hazelnut buttercream. Almond cake with vanilla buttercream. Lemon and raspberry tarts. Blueberry crumb and poppyseed muffins. Buttery pastries, danishes, and cinnamon apple pie.

The menu was limited, and small, but it would be enough to keep Elain and her bakers busy. She had hopes to expand her menu, but wanted to test the waters first. She intended on having a special of the week as well—for opening week, orange marmalade cake.

Since it was the evening, Elain had placed gilded candlesticks on the table, adding to the already soft golden glow from the faelight lanterns that bobbed through the bakery—courtesy of Mor’s magic. She had chosen the simple iron wrought tables, the pale pink silk napkins and sea green glasses that were imported from Summer. The plates were all a mismatched silver, but it gave the table a soft and whimsical sort of look.

Mor poured herself another cup of tea and said, “This is fabulous, Elain.”

Cassian was still stuffing his face with muffins and nodded in agreement.

“It looks like a garden inside a snow globe,” said Feyre, looking fondly around. “I’d like to paint it.”

“That’s what we were going for,” said Mor proudly from her seat at the head of the table. She pointed a fork at Elain. “You still need to select a name.”

Feyre arched a brow. “I thought you were naming it Elain’s Café.”

“Seems silly,” said Elain shyly. She felt Nesta’s stare and met it. Her sister had said very little, taking in all the details in that quiet, calm way of hers.

“I don’t think it’s silly,” her sister said.

Elain threw her a grateful smile.

“Name it after me,” said Cassian, grinning widely as he adjusted himself and poured a glass of wine. Elain had wanted the chairs to accommodate wings, though Cassian’s frame was still a bit large.

Amren snorted as she took a sip of wine, but Mor said, “You do realize Elain wants customers to actually come to her bakery, not run away, right?”

Rhysand let out a soft chuckle, which Feyre echoed. They shared a look that made it obvious they were having another one of their conversations in their minds.

Cassian started in on Mor, earning a well-hidden sigh from Nesta. Her sister still had not fully warmed up to Mor—or maybe she just didn’t understand the relationship between the High Lord’s Third and Cassian. Elain was not about to try to figure that out, either.

She cast a fleeting glance at Azriel. He had been unusually quiet this evening, so much so that Elain had worried she had somehow upset him. She was about to ask him if something was wrong when Rhysand stood, stretched his wings, and said, “Elain, thank you for a lovely evening.” He even sketched a bow. “Since I have to head to the mountains at the crack of dawn tomorrow, I’m afraid I need to finish up some work tonight.”

“What work?” Feyre complained around a spoonful of cake.

“Eris—”

“Eris?” Mor and Feyre all but snarled at the same time. Feyre added, “What about Eris?”

Rhysand crossed his arms, his wings flaring wide. He looked powerful, even in the fancy black tunic he wore tonight. “I’ll remind you all that Eris is the only reason Beron hasn’t made a move to expand his territory. For now, we need him to be Beron’s leash.”

Mor shot a look at Azriel, as if expecting him to disagree with Rhysand—but the Shadowsinger was just staring down at his plate, his mind elsewhere. Mor huffed and grabbed her wine. She swirled it once, twice, then downed it.

“Fine,” was all she said.

“Let us help you clean up,” said Feyre, rising. She, too, had worn a fine midnight black gown for the occasion.

“No.” Elain stopped her sister with a firm hand. “You’re my guest. Let me.”

“But—”

“Absolutely not,” said Elain, this time with authority. “Nuala, Cerridwen and Brenna are in the kitchen. We have plenty of hands.”

Finally accepting it, even if disapproving, Feyre and Rhysand were the first to leave, followed shortly by Mor. Elain was rather tired herself, having overseen the preparation for tonight’s tasting. Nesta was staying a few days—to Elain’s delight, she was going to stay in the estate and not that rank apartment she had rented out those months ago. She left with Amren, leaving Cassian torn between following and finishing off the last piece of chocolate cake. He opted to take the slice with him, leaving Elain alone with Azriel.

He was still sitting in his chair, his scarred hand gripping his goblet of wine lightly. His mouth worked, as if he wanted to say something. He had been like that most of the night. Silent, withdrawn, saying very little and holding back what he wanted to say.

So Elain stood up, began to gather the silk napkins on an empty silver tray, when Azriel let out a sound of defeat, of resignation, and vanished.

Startled, Elain just stared at the seat where he had been. She stared and stared, until Nuala, Cerriden and Brenna came out to clear the table. She was still staring when Nuala pried the napkin from her hands.

- - -

Azriel’s odd behavior carried over to the next day, and the next. Three days had passed and Elain had not seen him. She distracted herself by visiting with Nesta, by learning what her sister was doing at the camp.

“You’re learning to… to fight now?” Elain tried to hide the surprise from her voice as they spoke over afternoon tea.

“I have no desire to become a warrior,” said Nesta, taking a sip, “but the way those brutes treat the females…I will not allow that to be me.”

Elain believed it. She stirred her cup, her spoon gently knocking into the cube of sugar. Her voice quieted as she said, “Feyre said you…looked happy there. That you don’t want to come home.”

She tried not to sound hurt, and failed. Nesta had not wanted to leave Velaris. Now she seemed incline to stay away.

“This is not my home,” said Nesta, her voice uncharacteristically soft. “The Illyrians…they are harsh. Brutal. Indecent. But they are steel made into flesh. When I showed my teeth, they showed theirs, and are not afraid to bite.”

Elain understood, she had sensed as much from the way she heard Cassian speak about them. They did not show her pity. Did not care about her trauma, or about her upbringing or class or the fact that her sister was High Lady. They showed no favorites, offered no sympathy or remorse. Perhaps in those mountains you were nothing, nobody—only what you became. Perhaps Nesta would build a palace in those mountains and find her place amongst the clouds and pines.

And Nesta…perhaps at heart, she was an Illyrian, too.

- - -

Tomorrow was the grand opening, and Elain still didn’t have a name. She had a wooden sign that would hang above the door outside, in which Feyre was going to paint the name in gold. Yet she had no name to give her sister.

Why was this so difficult?

She sat at the large oak desk in her bedchamber, mulling over the list of names she had written: The Garden Table. Elain’s Sweet Shoppe. Sweets of Velaris. The Rose Café. The Flour Pot—that had been Cassian’s idea.

Groaning in annoyance, Elain crumbled up the parchment and tossed it onto the floor. She glanced out the window, to the garden below. While the estate sat on more land, giving Elain more space to work and plant, she still missed the intricate garden at the townhouse. It was still owned by Rhysand and Feyre, but currently vacant. Someday, she had said, she was going to purchase the townhouse and make it her home. When she made enough from the bakery. Rhysand had refused to accept payment, but then Elain refused to ever cook for him again. Resigned, he had agreed.

There was a light knock at her door. “Come in,” she said, rubbing her temples. Where was that powder when she needed it?

“Elain,” said the voice from the door.

Stiffening, she turned to find Azriel lingering in the doorway. No shadows in sight.

“Oh.” Her voice sounded sharp.

“May I come in?”

Normally, if her mind had not locked up, she would have thought it a strange request for Azriel to ask to come into her bedchamber. Normally, she would have been flustered. Instead, a strange calm and coldness had settled over her and she said, “I suppose.”

He strode inside, powerful yet deadly silent. He left the door open.

Elain’s room was all pastels and florals, cream silks and velvet. Even the furniture was a light colored wood. The sheer ivory drapery along the canopy of her bed moved silently against the breeze that blew in from her window. Azriel looked like a cloud of darkness amongst so much light.

“I wanted to apologize,” he said now.

“For what?” she asked curiously.

He didn’t seem to hear her. He moved silently to the window, peering down at the garden below. She watched him warily.

“You seem to favor roses,” he said. After a pause, he looked at her. “Why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I just…I dream about them.”

“About roses?”

“Yes. Among other things.”

He nodded and glanced out the window again. From where she sat, his profile was all sharp angles and tightly coiled power. His wings were tucked in tight, and the afternoon sun glinted against the cobalt blue of his siphons. Elain tried not to stare and decided to go back to her ink and parchment. She dipped the quill and stared at a blank piece of parchment. Nothing was jumping to mind.

“I want to show you something,” Azriel said quietly.

Elain peered up at him, half wondering if she misheard him. “What?”

He finally looked at her. His eyes were unreadable, his jaw tight. He swallowed hard and looked like he was struggling to form words. “There’s…” He shook his head, as if to clear it. She had never heard him so unsure, so hesitant.

“Are you all right, Azriel?” Elain finally asked, setting down the quill since it was no good anyway. “You were so quiet the last I saw you, and then you left and I thought…” Her voice trailed off.

“You thought what?”

“I don’t know, that you were upset with me, or—”

“Upset?” He let out a strange little laugh. No, not a laugh. It sounded like exasperation. His wings, which did not touch the floor like Cassian’s sometimes did, bristled. “Not upset. Startled, perhaps.”

“At what?” Elain asked, utterly vexed.

“I want to show you something,” he said again, and this time he extended a scarred hand.

After a beat, she said quietly, “All right” and took his hand.

- - -

One moment they were winnowing, and the next Elain was dreaming.

She was surrounded by blue skies and sunshine and roses—the same vibrant roses from her dream, only these looked and smelled so real. She reached out a hand, running her fingers over the soft petals, and felt the gentle prick of a thorn.

“Elain?”

She turned. It was the voice from her dream.

No. It was Azriel’s voice.

Elain took a step to steady herself. She blinked as those hazel eyes and those wings came into focus. Was she dreaming? Was she having a vision?

“Elain?” he said again, stepping closer and gripping her arm gently.

“Is this real?” she whispered.

Concern flashed in his eyes. “Yes.”

“Where are we?”

“Rosehall.” His throat bobbed slightly. “My…home.”

Elain stared at him. “Your home?”

He nodded and seemed to think she could stand on her own, because he let her arm drop. She immediately missed his warmth and tried not to think about it. “It’s my mother’s home,” he clarified.

She looked around. Sure enough, they were standing in a grand garden of roses—but not just roses. Further down she could see peonies and hydrangeas and daffodils—and more. Flowers of all shapes, sizes, and colors. There was a giant circular stone fountain, and a wooden swing under a large tree. There was even a greenhouse twice the size of her bakery. And when Elain turned, she saw the back of a giant manor. Ivy twisted around the turrets and over the windows of the grey stoned manor. It had to be at least two or three stories and nearly the size of Feyre and Rhysand’s estate. Larger, perhaps.

“This is your home,” Elain said again, speaking slowly, still struggling to comprehend what she was seeing.

If she did not know better, she’d say Azriel looked a little self-conscious. He nodded once.

She turned back to the garden and realized—it was like looking at a reflection of her bakery. Only, her bakery was a fraction of such beauty. And this…this was what startled him that night.

“I…I dreamed of this place,” she said, moving forward and dragging a hand through the petals. “I tried to recreate it with my bakery. I don’t think I did it justice.”

She stopped at the fountain and stared into the clear water. There were a few copper coins sunk at the bottom. Elain thought of Rhysand’s initial reaction. Of Cassian’s realization.

“They’ve seen it too, haven’t they?” she asked. “Rhysand and Cassian. They recognized it, too.”

As always, his steps were quiet. He now stood next to her. “Yes.”

“Azriel?”

The shadowsinger whipped around so quickly that Elain reacted immediately and jumped behind him. But there was no need. Having moved on near silent feet, the only person that could be standing in this garden was Azriel’s mother.

He confirmed it by saying, “Mother?”

Elain peered around him as the female let out a chuckle. “Spymaster and Shadowsinger, and still you did not hear me. Come.” She turned and started walking away.

Azriel looked torn, but one glance at Elain—she just shrugged—and they followed the female.

Elain immediately realized two things: One, Azriel’s mother was an exceptional gardener, and two, that she was blind. Her lack of sight did not seem to stop her as she dug in the rich soil and began planting some seed Elain did not recognize. She wore a light grey gown that was browned from soil, her white gloves just as dirty. Her greying black hair was pulled into a loose braid. No shadows around her neck—unlike Azriel’s, which were now more frenzied than usual.

“Who is your friend?” His mother asked without looking up. She reached out a withered hand. Wordlessly, Azriel dug through her basket and handed her a spade—as if he knew exactly what she wanted. She had the same tanned skin and dark hair, but her eyes were milky.

“Elain,” he supplied. “Elain Archeron.”

“Archeron…Do you happen to be of relation to our High Lady?”

“She’s my sister,” said Elain.

“I see. You smell strange, Elain Archeron.” Azriel’s mother patted the soil, as if it were a friend. “What are you?”

“I…” Elain hesitated and glanced at the Spymaster. He gave a non-committal sort of shrug, clearly flustered by the entire situation. It almost made her smile. “I am High Fae.”

It was, perhaps, the first time she had said those words. The first time she had believed them. Accepted them.

“Just High Fae?”

Yes. No.

“Well, I am a seer.”

Or I was.

His mother paused. Then she resumed her work. “Is that so?”

Elain nodded, even if the motion was useless. “Azriel is actually the one that figured it out.” She let out a small laugh. “I thought I was losing my mind.”

“I can only imagine. Let me have a look at you.” She stood up then and dusted off the dirt from her hands onto her gown.

Startled, Elain could do nothing but stand there awkwardly as his mother touched her face. Her fingers were rough, as if she had spent centuries performing hard work. There was a scar that slithered along her neck and dipped low into her gown. She ran her fingers over Elain’s sharp cheekbones, down her neck, through her honey wheat hair. She brushed over her thick lashes, her plump lips. Even though the female looked tired with age, she was still lovely. Elain could see Azriel’s sharp features in her face.

“Beautiful,” said the female, smiling. She looked at Azriel. “Bring this one back, will you? I could use some help in the garden.”

Azriel opened his mouth. Closed it. Elain, taking pity on her friend, said, “I would love to.”

- - -

They didn’t winnow back. Elain had asked if they could fly, using the excuse that it was near sunset and she wanted to see it from the sky. Which was partially true. The rest of it was that she had so many questions and she knew once they were back at the estate, Azriel would do what he usually did in a large group and fade into the shadows.

Now, he held her close to his chest, the evening wind a soft kiss against her skin. She wore a simple lavender gown, a little cold for flying, but she suspected he had some sort of shield around them to cut into the chilly wind.

The mountains below were nothing more than small peaks, snow capping the tops. Beautiful and sharp and deadly. No wonder Nesta preferred them.

“Your mother seems kind,” said Elain, breaking the silence. “Her garden is lovely.”

“I’ve always been afraid she’s going to stumble into a thorn bush.”

Elain laughed. “Was that a joke?” She peered up at him and saw his lips upturned slightly.

His smile became wistful. “No, my mother sees more with her eyes than most do with theirs.”

“So do you,” Elain offered. “You’re surrounded by shadows, but you still saw—you saw me. When no one else did.”

She probably imagined it, but she could have sworn his arms tightened around her. Or maybe hers tightened around his neck.

“Thank you,” she added, staring off into the warm oranges and golden tones of the sunset. “For bringing me there. For showing me.”

“I’m sorry I ran,” he said quietly. He glanced at her briefly before his eyes were once again out ahead. “I didn’t…I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Why do you think I dreamed it?” she asked, her voice just as soft.

“I don’t know.”

She didn’t know either. Maybe one day she would. But now she did know one thing.

“Does she live alone?” It seemed an awfully large manor for one person. Elain imagined she’d be horribly lonely if it was her.

“No, there are other…wraiths that stay there.”

Like Nuala and Cerridwen. Elain smiled. If they were anything like her friends, then his mother was in good company. No mention of his father. She would not ask, then.

“I think I finally have a name for my bakery,” she said pleasantly.

He peered down at her. “What’s that?”

“Rosehall Garden.” She grinned. “If you’re willing to let me borrow the name.”

His lips parted into a full on smile, all white teeth and so stunning Elain wished he would do it more often. “That can be arranged. But I insist you pay for it.”

“Pay for it?”

“I accept lemon tarts and chocolate cake.”

Elain tipped her head into his chest and laughed. “And here I thought you avoided sweets.”

“I’ll make an exception for you.”

She smiled up at him. “Then it’s a bargain, Shadowsinger.”

#elriel #elain archeron #acofas #acotar #elain x azriel #azriel #mrs pettyfer writing

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dragonbagel · 7 years

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everything is not what it seems

part one: it’s gonna take some time to realize

new rhack fic woo! angsty af. inspired by @bird--butt ‘s ideas.

summary: rhys and jack are kidnapped while doing work on pandora by some weird aliens. real x-files type of shit. but at least they're together, right?

Rhys groaned as the room around him slowly came into view, pale blues and oranges still harsh to his bleary eyes. "Where am I?" he asked groggily, rubbing at his sore jaw. "I think you mean 'where are we’, right pumpkin?" "Jack?" Rhys asked, his relieved jerk of the head sending a jolt of pain down his spine. He tried to massage his neck with his left arm, but his movements felt sloppy and uncoordinated. "Take it easy, kiddo," Jack said, giving Rhys a sympathetic smile. He was laying awkwardly on the floor, his limbs randomly splayed out. Rhys was too, he now realized, the soft feeling of carpet slowly registered against his numb skin. "They knocked us out real good."

"Who?" Rhys squinted, trying to make sense of the strange patterns he could now see swirling across the ceiling. "You don't remember?" Jack chuckled, and Rhys shot him a look. "We were on Pandora looking for Eridian tech, and this giant ship came out of nowhere. Shit was straight out of Star Wars! They tried to capture us, I protected you like a hero, then they brought out a big-ass gun, blah blah blah, and here we are." "Oh." That didn't sound quite right to Rhys, but what did he know? He could barely remember what he'd eaten for breakfast, much less what had happened before being drugged and kidnapped. Besides, an alien abduction (which, now that he thought about it, sounded way too lame for the gravity of the situation) wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to have happened to him. "So what do we do now?" Jack stared at Rhys like he'd just asked what number came after two. "We wait." "We wait?" Rhys repeated, dumbfounded. Jack had been kidnapped a horrifically anxiety-inducing amount of times, so surely he had some sort of tried-and-true escape plan that would get them out of there. "That's-- that's it?" Jack nodded. "Gotta figure out what they want. Plus," he said, grunting as he slowly pushed himself to stand. "They've got this whole sweet-ass setup going on here." Rhys to clumsily stumbled to his feet to his feet after him, finding that Jack was not wrong in any capacity. The room was fairly large, complete with a miniature kitchen, television, and small bathroom. It also had two beds, which made Rhys roll his eyes; were gay aliens not a thing? "I guess it is sort of like a free vacation," Rhys said, offering Jack a smile and a shrug. He wasn't about to go freak out and look like a wimp in front of his boyfriend (and hero). "Hope they've got the Spanish channel," Jack said, already moving to grab the remote. "I don't have time to catch up on my telenovelas again." Rhys laughed, reassuring himself yet again that things were going to be okay. Jack was here. Jack knew what to do. He might as well go along and enjoy himself. His legs still felt jelly-like, so he sank onto the bed closest to him (he didn't flop like a fish, nobody had proof he flopped like a fish). The blankets felt strange yet soft, and he let his eyes slide closed. He didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep until Jack called his name, gesturing excitedly to the television he’d managed to turn on.

“Look! They have ‘Tres Veces Ana’!”

“That’s nice, Jack,” Rhys grumbled, rolling over onto his side. Rhys’ only Spanish knowledge was the colorful vocab he’d picked up from Jack’s dirty talk, and he had no shortage of requests to “please watch a normal English show on Netflix for once instead of Univision I’m begging you.”

“It is,” Jack agreed, plopping down onto the other tiny bed. His eyes were trained on the TV in front of him, but they’d flick over to Rhys every so often.

Rhys didn’t know what to make of it. How the hell was Jack so calm about all this? He’d been nabbed a few times himself, but never kept in anywhere other than a rusty cage or disgusting bandit stronghold. This place was like a goddamn hotel suite, the kind with fancy room service and everything. The whole situation was putting him on edge, and he desperately wanted Jack to do something, anything , to get them out of this mess.

But Rhys was afraid to interrupt the cries of “¡mi hermana!” and “¡traidora!”, afraid to admit to Jack that he was scared and weak and all the other insecurities he kept bottled up and buried deep, deep within himself.

Instead, he opted for a distraction he knew Jack couldn’t refuse. “Is there any food in this place or what?”

Predictable as ever, Jack bounced off the bed and into the kitchen, opening and closing various cupboards in search of sustenance. “Holy shit, pumpkin! You’re never gonna believe this!”

Rhys sat up in excitement, limbs now more under his control as he looked happily at what was probably either ice cream or pizza or maybe even both.

It was ramen.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Rhys groaned, recognizing the bright red packaging that had haunted his nightmares since college.

“Isn’t it great?” Jack laughed, tossing the package to Rhys and hitting him in the chest.

Rhys glowered. The stupid noodles even had the audacity to be shrimp-flavored, which was a whole new level of disgusting. “No, it most definitely is not great.”

That only made Jack laugh harder, since watching Rhys suffer was one of his favorite pastimes. Seriously, that stupid look he got on his face when he tried to look intimidating was comedy gold.

Rhys really was hungry, however, so he finally relented and made the ramen (or, more specifically, made Jack make the ramen). As he slurped down the cringe-worthy meal, he noticed Jack wasn’t eating anything. Which was weird, because Jack was always eating something, even when he was in the middle of killing someone for spilling their coffee on him.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Rhys asked around a mouthful of noodles.

Jack shook his head. “Nah, I ate before these assholes pulled an X-Files move on us.”

Rhys shrugged, although he didn’t really buy the excuse. Maybe Jack was more shaken up than he was letting on.

“Alright, well, you can go back to watching your stupid Spanish shows now. I’m going to sleep.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Suit yourself, old man.”

Rhys fell back into unconsciousness with the sound of a car crash echoing in his ears.

Stupid fucking telenovelas.

Rhys awoke an indeterminate amount of time later in hopes that the whole ordeal with the ramen and the Spanish channel and, oh yeah, the fucking aliens had been nothing more than a freaky alcohol-induced nightmare. But when he saw the weird pastel color scheme and smooth, doorless walls, he knew this wasn’t over just yet.

He forced himself to sit up, finding Jack dozing in the other bed. He rolled his eyes, then started to boot up his ECHOeye; just because Jack didn’t want to be proactive didn’t mean Rhys couldn’t be. Of course, it was just his luck that the damn thing wasn’t working. He could turn it on, but a scrambled signal burst through his brain like the physical embodiment of loud static and he had to quickly shut it down. His cybernetic arm was just as useless. It still functioned as a regular arm, but none of its capabilities seemed to work beyond that. Which meant no hacking, no calling for help, and no new information. He was back to square one again.

Investigating the room seemed like the next best idea, especially now that the drugs he’d been doped with had mostly worn off. He liked to watch old prison escape movies, okay? It wasn’t the worst hobby one could have (Exhibit A being either Jack’s Univision addiction or Vaughn’s illogical love of going to the gym).

The kitchen was stocked with nothing but ramen and some cans of Diet Pepsi, yet another abomination spitting in the face of god. Couldn’t they at least get some actual food? He’d even settle for a simple cup of coffee, as he could feel a caffeine headache settling in. Rummaging through the few drawers didn’t yield any nail files, scissors, or even spoons that could be used to orchestrate some sort of grand escape.

Sighing and rubbing his temples, he moved on to check out the bathroom. It was literally just that: A toilet and matching sink that looked like they came out of a mid-20th century public school. There wasn’t even a shower; Rhys shuddered at what his hair was going to look like by just the second day. Was it already the second day? The overhead lights hadn’t dimmed since he’d first woken up, and without his ECHOeye or a wall clock to reference, any concept of time was thrown out the window alongside his regimented beauty routine.

He couldn’t find anything else in the room aside from the beds (which were bolted to the floor) and the TV. He supposed the TV would at least keep him from dying from boredom, but he’d lose his mind if he had to watch trashy soap operas in a language he didn’t understand all day. He also didn’t know where the remote was, and he doubted Jack would actually tell him. That would definitely be an argument for later.

Restless, he took to pacing around the small room, counting how many steps it took to go from one end to the other (25) and if he could touch the ceiling if he stood on the bed (the answer was yes). He watched Jack sleep for awhile, a behavior that he didn’t know whether to categorize as creepy or endearing. His mask was on, the synthetic skin slightly lighter than his naturally bronze body; it made him look peaceful, a look which rarely graced his features in consciousness.

It was calming, really, listening to Jack sleep. He was laying on his back, arms at his sides like a corpse, chest slowly rising as he breathed.

Rhys blinked, suddenly snapped out of his pleasant daze. There was a reason he didn’t watch Jack sleep: He snored like a freaking chainsaw, which was the very opposite of calming.

Had the aliens put some sort of miracle in the drugs they’d used to snatch them? If that was the case, Rhys desperately wanted to get his hands on it, willing to pay virtually anything for a bottle so that he didn’t have to sleep with heavy duty earplugs every night. More desperately, however, Rhys wanted to know what the hell was going on. This wasn’t normal. None of it was normal. He needed to talk to Jack, to come up with a plan together.

He gently shook Jack’s shoulder in an attempt to rouse him, the gray jacket the captors had forced both of them to wear feeling strange under his touch. Jack nudged his hand away as he opened his eyes with a groan, fixing Rhys with a tired look.

“I was sleeping,” he said flatly.

“Yeah, uh, I know,” Rhys said, his tone nervous. “It was just, y’know, too quiet, and I, well, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Quiet?” Jack repeated, pointing towards the still-running TV.

Rhys shook his head. “You weren’t snoring, and it was weird, and this whole thing is freaking me out and--”

“Alright, alright,” Jack said, holding up his hands in defeat. “Let’s talk, cupcake.”

Rhys sighed in relief, sinking down to sit next to Jack on the bed. “What are we supposed to do?”

“We’re waiting,” Jack said. “I told you that before.”

“But why?” Rhys said with a frown. “Don’t you want to get out of here?”

“I told you, we’re waiting!” Jack hissed, glaring as Rhys flinched. “Can’t you just listen to me for once?”

Rhys bit his lip, not wanting to dig his own grave after pissing off a clearly tired Jack.

“Come on, kitten. Let’s get some rest.”

Rhys sighed and obliged, crawling back over to the other bed as his mind reeled. He was confused, and angry, and hungry, and yeah, he was also feeling pretty hurt. But he couldn’t vocalize any of it, not now. And he definitely couldn’t “get some rest” after what had just happened. So he simply watched Jack lay on his back, not really having moved from before, as he the other man slipped back to sleep.

This time, Jack began to snore.

#rhack #rhack fic #rhack tftbl #...everything is named after tv show theme songs fight me #there's more of a description on ao3 #everything is not what it seems #trash writing

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neingel · 7 years

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Complete review of Aether Revolt cards for Commander!

Well as the spoiler season ends as a new set prepares to be released. Aether Revolt does look to me one of the most exciting sets Wizards have made in a long while. Many new toys for Standard as well as minor tweaks for various decks in Modern to enjoy. However I myself am a Commander player and today I’ll be looking as well as handpicking a group of cards. Yes but not only any ordinary group of cards, but more specifically cards to a format I call home, yes that’s right! It’s time for a good breakdown of the potential cards in Aether Revolt that could see play in Commander!

Starting off, it’s no surprise that with every new set, everyone is excited with what new Legendary Creatures are in the set as they could make strong generals in the Future. I must say among the 5 all of them are very unique and have strong abilities. Sram falls perfectly into decks that already run Equipment, Auras and even recently printed Vehicles (Yes I’m looking at you Depala), while Baral features a Goblin Electromancer v2.0 with extra cycling effects, though not as good as a general but very promising in the 99. Yaheeni does seem to me my favorite pick for this entire lot, she’s low costed,able to protect herself and fits perfectly with popular graveyard strategies in EDH . Kari Zev does admittedly look the weakest among the 5 but who knows what build she might fit in. Last but not the least Rishkar can either be an excellent General fr a new build or give decks that play around with +1/+1 counters a unique “Cryptolith Rite”-like ability. Overall, I feel that the Legendary Creatures in this set has been of great success!

Again, a new set comes with a new cycle of special spells to play with. Not only are these spells pretty flavorful when it comes to the storyline, but they are all very powerful for what they do at their cost, getting a sweet effect and being able to cast a card for free from your hand is always nice. As for Commander I’m generally in favor of both Yaheeni’s and Rishkar’s Expertise, reason being Yaheeni’s is a mini board wipe early game which would result you in placing a reasonable 3 drop afterwards, while Rishkar allows you to draw a lot of cards and being able to not worry about mana and place a 5 drop from what you’ve drawn. However what I like most about them is despite each having the same “free cast” effect, each of them are still very unique in their own way and would definitely find a home in many decks.

WHITE

Do note, I might include the previously mentioned Expertises and Legendaries in these lists. Well in no order or ranking whatsoever, we shall start off the 5 best cards for each color in Commander!.

Consulate Crackdown

Now Consulate Crackdown is an interesting card that caught my attention when it first got spoiled, it was not only expected to be quite strong in Standard but also in EDH. White has gotten a unique way to get rid of pesky, troublesome artifacts (yes Darksteel Forge is definitely something this loves looking at) without actually having trouble blowing them up, resulting in all artifacts being reanimated through something like Scrap Mastery. Also this card works insanely well with Myconsynth Lattice, serving as another combo piece for the artifact that is well dreaded in Commander, this neat little trick causes you to exile each and every one of your opponent’s permanents, leaving them with nothing but your board in play. Insane boardwipe for artifact themed decks and it also serves as a powerful artifact removal for others.

Exquisite Archangel

Well about this card..yes it isn’t very good on paper as they are more reliable cards that prevent you from losing the game, cards like Platinium Angel and Phyrexian Unlife are both excellent in Commander. However do keep in mind, this card is just another one of those ways to prevent you from losing the game. Especially when it’s a long game, everyone has either ran out of answers or resources. Your opponents would most likely not want to see this being played. Also, this could fit in some neat Angel Tribal theme or some deck that aims to recur it’s creatures for their powerful effects.

Call for Unity

Ah yes..a White Coat of Arms! Being in White has never been better when you can run 2 Coat of Arms! Call for Unity does stand out a little bit from Coat of Arms though, it does not require a tribe to be played and it’s an enchantment. White in Commander is well known for some of it’s aggressive synergies, in particular creatures and their enchantments. This card’s strength is no stranger to many players. However, with it’s Revolt ability, a lot and I mean a lot of decks that play around flickering their own creatures/permanents will adore this card. It will be interesting to see how players will build around this card and how it might grow to be the next Coat of Arms.

Sram, Senior Edificer

Sram is a very interesting card. He could play effectively as a general but I feel he would be much better being in the 99 for decks playing Auras and Equipments, and boy there are a lot of generals that would love him in their deck! Zur, Kemba, Bruna Light of Alabaster, Krond, Aurelia, Jor Kadeen...the list just goes on! He is perfectly costed and acts as a very powerful draw engine for these decks.

Sram’s Expertise

Ah..token decks players are probably rubbing their hands in glee. Sram’s Expertise is literally a 4 for 1. Netting 3 tokens which make excellent blockers or simply piling them up to your already growing token army. The free cast for a ≤ 3 cmc card from your hand is just icing on the cake. Many token decks like Trostani, Rhys the Redeemed, Teysa Orzhov Scion and many more would have this auto-included.

BLUE

Mechanized Production

For players outside of Commander, seeing this Mythic might leave them a bad taste in their mouth. It does look quite horrible at times but Commander’s specialty is turning bulk rares into rock stars. This is just one of those fun cards Wizards prints once in awhile, Mechanized Production does remind me of Biovisionary but somehow easier to pull off due to it’s synergy with artifacts. You don’t necessarily need to copy a big fatty, but what you could do is to place it on “artifact tokens”. Thopters, Myrs, Golems...the list is endless, this card has quite the chance to shine in most artifact decks being a cheap and reliable copy generator or just simply a win-con in decks that produce a lot of tokens!

Whir of Invention

I clearly remembered when this got spoiled, I just started sharing with my friends about this “artifact chord”. While Improvise is slightly worse than chord, it does give artifact decks a strong instant speed tutor for any artifact in their deck. Also cmc isn’t really an issue with the amount of mana rocks artifact decks run, they can just improvise away~. Overall, solid card, not too over or under powered.

Disallow

As a control player and someone who adores counterspells...FINALLY! Like..it’s hard to put it but Disallow is literally the blue Voidslime. Heck, it’s an even better Voidslime for the ability to splash with colors outside of Green. It’s the same mana as Cancel but strictly, no I mean really - many blue players have wanted a Voidslime outside of Simic colors, and we finally got one! *Fist pumps like crazy*

Trophy Mage

Is that you Trinket Mage? Oh no? Oh but you do have better stats! Yes, it is Trophy Mage whom supposedly is the cousin of Trinket Mage except she is from Kaladesh. Anyways, Trophy Mage is just like Trinket Mage except she searches for only cmc of 3. But in Commander, cmc 3 often means Chromatic Lantern, Static Orb, Phyrexian Altar, Thousand-Year Elxir....the list is endless and you can see why this card makes it to this list.

Baral, Chief of Compliance

Well well well, I spy with my little eye a new addition to my Melek spellslingers deck as well as a potential powerful general. Yes, Baral is probably the card Goblin Electromancer should be. He is just strictly better than Electromancer, they both have the same effect, but he has looting and he’s not restricted to Izzet colors. I see him being a powerful addition to any spellslingers deck and he would make a good rival to the next mono-blue spellslingers general: Talrand.

Black

Herald of Anguish

This is probably one of the best demons I’ve seen printed in a Standard set in a long time, don’t get me wrong, Demon of the Dark Schemes back in Kaladesh was an all round solid card. But Herald of Anguish is a really powerful card. Improvise makes this potentially an unexpected early drop for your opponents, the discard ability is very relevant in black and it also has reliable removal that require some artifact synergy. I would love to see how artifact decks play around this card as it simply is a value-bomb.

Yahenni, Undying Partisan

Yahenni is pretty much what everyone is hyping about right now. She works too well with reanimation/sacrifice synergies in Commander. The fact she is almost a nightmare to deal with when combined with Grave Pact/Dictate of Erebos, she can buff herself and she can make herself immune to boardwipes is ridiculous. She is pretty solid in the 99 but I feel even more powerful as a Voltron general. Overall the best legendary in this set so far!

Yahenni’s Expertise

One of my personal favorite cards in this set that i expect to see Modern play, Yahenni’s Expertise is still quite strong in Commander. It does set itself up as an early boardwipe in Black following up with a creature or..Demonic Tutor :P it also gets rid of pesky, small hexproof/indestructible creatures. And for it’s cost, it’s normally alot of creatures and a free spell for 1.

Gonti’s Machinations

This is actually a very unique card in a unique spot. For just 1 mana, Gonti’s Machinations can be quite the trouble for opponents from the very moment it’s been cast. Black does have ways to lose life easily, 2 simple examples include Phyrexian Arena and Necropotence. Also it is easy to regain back the life lost since Commander is a multiplayer format, a simple activation of this in a 4 player game means you gaining back 9 life with just this cheap and simple enchantment. Overall, its a very unique and cool card I want to see being played.

Battle at the Bridge

I honestly wasn’t really excited for this card when it was spoiled, but then again I realized that again artifact decks in EDH can simply pay 1 Black to kill a fatty if they had enough artifacts. Sure it’s a sorcery but the life gain here is quite the bonus. Imagine over-tapping your artifacts to help cast this card help you stay in the game. This card is pretty underlooked but I’m sure it’ll have a few decks running it.

RED

Indomitable Creativity

Now, it is not the first time seeing a red “poly-morph” effect but this card can be used to yourself. You could basically set your deck up with Selective Memory/Doomsday, this card could basically be a card to set up the win with lesser mana than required. It could also mean a “Chaos Warp”-ish boardwipe for your opponent. Overall Vandalblast would be better but this is here for it’s combo potential.

Release the Gremlins

Despite it’s funny name, this card is actually pretty funny when played against your opponents. It is especially more hilarious when you already have some form of infinite mana combo together with Myconsyth Lattice and you basically wipe out your opponent’s board and leaving you a massive amount of Gremlins. +1 for flavor and name!

Pia’s Revolution

Now again for all the artifact lovers, I can imagine this card being in a mono-red artifact deck like...Daretti of all generals. Where he doesn’t really cares where the cards go to and opponents would definitely not want certain artifacts to be in the graveyard, in this case they would normally take the 3 damage. Another one worth mentioning is when Breya starts activating her ability for damage, this might actually push 4 damage to 10 out of nowhere.

Freejam Regent

Again, another solid bomb for artifact decks imo, a less than 6 cmc for 4/4 with flying and fire-breathing makes it a solid finisher. Other than that, this card is quite the value it speaks err as it breathes I suppose. Although many might disagree this card getting this spot as it is competing with other red dragons such as Hoard-Smelter Dragon, Hellkite Igniter and the biggest daddy of them all Hellkite Tyrant. But I still feel this card has a certain place for some decks in Commander.

Lightning Runner

A potential combo breaking card that could basically mean the win for you. Lightning runner does require a steep energy cost, but this might be the card that could break energy into Commander. 8 energy might be slightly hard to pull off whenever this attacks but some builds have started to show up building around generating massive/infinite energy. We will have to wait and see how strong energy will perform now with the addition of this sweet thing.

Green

Aetherwind Basker

And now as you can see, Elfball decks have a new toy to meddle around with. Aetherwind Basker can be quite a terrifying creature to drop earlier than usual due to ramp in Green. This gigantic lizard is a close mimic to other big finishers such as Craterhoof Behemoth as well as Decimator of Provinces, though not as powerful as the latter two,Basker does work terrifyingly well when either is cast. Basker does reward players when casting him on a board full of your creatures. Add in a Lightning Greaves/Concordant Crossroads and he is guaranteed to get in there for a lot of damage.

Rishkar’s Expertise

Rishkar’s Expertise does feel a lot like Soul’s Majesty, Momentous Fall or Regal Force. However, almost any green card with the ability like this all suffer the same weakness. Which is the case after you draw, you would normally not have the mana to play almost anything you drawn. Rishkar’s Expertise however allows you to play a reasonably “big” card at 5 cmc! And while you compare Rishkar’s Expertise to other Green cards that draw a massive amount of cards, Rishka Expertise is probably the best for it’s cost. That free cast for a cmc 5 card is just too good. I personally feel this has a slight edge over my other favorite Expertise, Yahenni’s.

Heroic Intervention

Everything about this card is awesome, the art, the fact Ajani is in it, the cost and most importantly the ability to basically counter a boardwipe/mass targeted removal. More importantly for 2 cmc and at instant speed? That is just absolutely bonkers when you think about it. Definitely will see play with the high amount of threats to permanents in Commander.

Rishkar, Peema Renegade

Rishkar is rounding out the last of the best Legendary Creatures in the set (Sorry Kari Zev :/). Rishkar does bring an interesting inclusion to generals playing around the +1/+1 counters mechanic. He does come in helping out 2 other creaures, for a 3 cmc 2/2, that is already quite good. But the real fun begins when most of your creatures with counters get to produce mana on their own. He is a great boost to many existing builds but also quite independent and strong on his own as a general.

Lifecrafter’s Bestiary

Now I know this isn’t an entirely Mono-Green card but we’re still in Mono Green and all of the cards mentioned here are still splashable in Gx colored decks. Anyways Lifecrafter’s Bestiary does look like a card many creature based decks would want to put in. A low costed artifact with a free scry every upkeep does sound interesting, but it acts as a earlier game Zendikar Resurgent that requires 1 green mana per draw activation. Overall, it’s low costed, packed full with value. Solid card just for Commander play.

Multicolored

Ajani Unyielding

Though Ajani has received some criticism around his speed and playability, I personally feel that he is actually good enough for Commander. He has the ability to get multiple cards into your hand fast, get rid of annoying creatures and his ultimate if you do get to a stage to use it, is literally a steroid pump to both your creatures and planeswalkers. All round very solid and I feel his abilities go very well along with his colors. Especially for the super-friends builds like Atraxa.

Tezzeret, Master of Metal and Tezzeret the Schemer

Now, I actually had a hard time choosing which of these 2 were going to take this spot, but I figured out that both were very powerful. Even if they aren’t as good as the original Agent of Bolas, both are still very solid in Commander. Let’s start off with the “heavy metal” version of Tezzeret, it does have a strong digging ability which is quite relevant in Commander, his 2nd skill can act as a way to ward off opponents or host a major lethal damage threat late game. Whereas his ultimate is very devastating, being able to take someone’s best creatures and artifacts is no laughing matter at all. Now onwards to the “scheming” version of Tezzeret, he does not provide any form of digging but he does produce an extra artifact that acts like a Lotus Petal. He has strong, solid and reliable creature removal while his ultimate though not as terrifying as the heavy metal version, does quicken your clock fast by turning any artifact you control during combat on your turn into a 5/5 creature. A time bomb ticking for your opponents if you will, sweet effect nonetheless. Tezzeret does have a thing for turning artifacts into 5/5s...why doesn’t he just make them slightly bigger?

Dark Imitations

A tuned-down version of Cruel-Ultimatum that targets each opponent, but does come with the added ability of returning either a creature or Planeswalker from your graveyard to your hand. What’s interesting is the synergy with the “Bolas” Planeswalker spell, this not only helps decks that already run the Nicol Bolas Planeswalker card but it also does give clues to the next set Amonkhet, the home plane of Nicol Bolas whom might have recruited other Planewalkers for his evil plans. All these hinting at more Planeswalkers printed with the “Bolas” keyword in their Planeswalker type. Overall, this card might be bound to seeing more improvements and playability.

Oath of Ajani

Well if Wizards was trying to push Planeswalkers in Standard, they forgotten that Atraxa Super-friends IS a very powerful deck in Commander. But outside of that particular topic, Oath of Ajani is the dream card for many Super-friends decks. It’s low costed, gives early buffs to a few creatures, reasonable when played mid-game. Again another solid card in this set overall.

Winding Constrictor

If you thought the invasion of cards having synergy with counters wasn’t enough in Aether Revolt, this little angry noodle does stand out a slight bit from it’s other counterparts in the set. The fact that it does give extra counters on both creatures and artifacts alike is very unique, it also has a 2nd ability which allows you as the controller to receive an extra counter of any type. I can certainly see this being placed in a very wide variety of decks. From +1/+1 counters to charge counters and loyalty points on Planeswalkers. This danger noodle will be guaranteed to be seen in decks far and wide.

Colorless

Metallic Mimic

Ah finally! I have no idea how long it has been where Wizards finally print a form of global tribe support. Metallic Mimic does seem to to be the new kid on the block, matching Adaptive Automaton’s popularity. Mimic does have a few differences from Automaton, it cost 1 less than its fellow robotic cousin and it also buffs your chosen creature type with counters. This means even if your Mimic dies, your creatures are sure to remain buffed with a counter.

Crackdown Construct

Ah.every once in a while a new awesome combo piece Wizards prints comes out of literally nowhere. While this awesome robot won’t be seeing much play in Standard. It will see immense amount of play in Commander. If you were wondering why this card is so hyped up for do take note. The equip rule states you can use an equipment to equip to the same creature as many times as possible so long as you can pay it’s equip cost. This means if u equip Lightning Greaves to Crackdown Construct, and naming an infinite amount of times equipping to it, you’ll have an infinite power and toughness robot flying at your opponent.

Inspiring Statuary

Well another interesting and potentially powerful piece of artifact that could bust Commander. Inspiring Statuary basically makes artifact decks have the confidence to run a bit more non-artifact cards. Simply because it would be much easier casting them with this card on the field with full of artifacts. It’s reasonably costed and I can see this card enjoying a good amount of play in Commander.

Paradox Engine

Probably the most ground-breaking, nerve-wrecking card in the entire set *hands down*, many are already comparing this to staples in Commander like Doubling Season, Seedborn Muse and somewhat a close resemblance to Prophet of Kruphix. I can guarantee almost any decks playing a untap/tap synergy such as Phenax,Ezuri Elves and Azami would go bonkers with this card. Sitting at 5 cmc which I feel is very low for a card with such a high power level. This card will change Commander as a whole, it’s effect is really too significant to ignore and when I mean too significant. When this hits the table...

Like literally man!

Land

As for lands goes, unfortunately only one card makes this list and that’s the new rainbow land in the entire set

Spire of Industry

Another card for artifact decks yet again! They finally have a City of Brass/Mana Confluence just for themselves. Spire does remind many of a less harsh Glimmervoid. But even though there are many rainbow lands available for artifact synergies in Commander. This is one good inclusion for many of them alike.

Conclusion

Aether Revolt is one of the most exciting sets we’ve stumbled across in a very long time! With powerful and unique “build-around-me” cards popping up, it is no surprise quite a number have made it into this list. The power level of Commander is certain to be on the rise as the player-base brews new strategies for each individual card in different decks or will we see a new archetype coming out on it’s own? It is still unknown but just look at the set so far! Despite the overwhelming amount of Artifact/Planes-walker/Counters support, many cards have been printed in good measure to bring new toys for a wide variety to play with.

If so, that’s all of the time I have for you today, be sure to follow the blog for more updates and such. And stay tuned for the next article as well, I’m hoping to see you there!

#mtg #mtg commander #mtg aether revolt #mtgnew #mtgsetdiscussion #mtgedh

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housebeleren · 5 years

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Commander 2019 New Cards

Alright, after looking at all the new Legendary creatures, it’s time to review all the other cards in the Commander 2019 decks. Since there are a lot of them, I’m going to blaze through these quickly. So let’s get to it.

Honestly, I’m not really seeing it. Most of the time, it’s going to function as a bad extra turn spell for a deck that needs it but doesn’t have access to Blue. Even then, is it really worth it? Given that you have to let your left opponent get a turn before you can take an extra one, I’m not thinking so.

If it had Haste, it’d be phenomenal. As is, there are some decks that may still be interested. Mono-Red decks, Vampire decks, and Madness decks (shocker there) might all find uses for it.

Apex Altisaur is enormous, and it’ll take out any number of creatures you want when it hits the field. Obviously Gishath Dino decks will want this, and I can definitely see it finding a home in Mayael (or similar) decks as well. Even just really big ramp decks could make it happen.

Archfiend is a decent deal at 5 mana, but just a little too costly at 7 mana given that it has no immediate impact. Could be a fun inclusion in Kaalia builds. Might hold back a few attackers, but mostly it’ll just get swept up in board wipes ore straight up killed if you’re casting it for full cost.

Cute. Problem is most of the decks that want another Past in Flames don’t really want to have a 5 drop creature telegraphing their big turn. I do like that it doesn’t cost anything on the attack, so it gives you more mana to play with once you get it started. But most storm decks don’t have much room for this, so it’ll be relegated to 75% spellslinger builds.

Quite honestly, this is one of my favorite new cards in the set. In many cases, this is going to function like straight-up removal, all for cheap generic mana, and with the possibility to reuse, if the creatures get removed or traded with. And generally, even if your opponents have Artifact removal, there are likely going to be more pressing targets on board. I’m absolutely going to try this in a few decks.

Bone Miser is Waste Not for your own discards, so automatically there are some decks (like Nekusar wheels) that will be interested. I do wish it were a little bit cheaper, though. Like, why did this have to be a 5 mana 4/4? I’d have happily traded a few points of P/T for one or two mana off the cost.

Basically like a one-shot Mother of Runes. Cute if you have recursion and some stuff you reaaaally want to protect, basically unplayable if you don’t.

Does absolutely fuck all if you’ve yet to cast your commander, and is a strictly worse Glorious Anthem if you’ve cast your commander once. If you’re already had to cast your commander twice it’s a slightly cheaper Dictate of Heliod. A card which... doesn’t really see play. If you’ve got a really cheap commander like Rhys the Redeemed, or in some sort of Sidar Kondo partner build, I guess it’s possible. But I’m thinking cutting this is a really easy first upgrade to these precons. (After fixing the godawful mana base, that is.)

Okay, but is it weird that my first thought for this card is to try it out in my Oloro deck? That deck is all about the lifegain triggers, and this draws out the entire deck when paired with Drogskol Reaver or Lich’s Mastery, or, more slowly, with Oloro himself or Well of Lost Dreams. In other words, it’s a combo piece for a Lab-Man win. Curse decks are also a thing in casual circles, and this is a fun inclusion for those as well. You could also try it in a wheels deck, but it’s unfortunate it only hits one opponent when used that way.

Calling it now, this is the best new non-Legendary card in the set. Red decks will be all over this, and it’s not hard to imagine scenarios where this generates 10 or more mana for a tiny investment. Even early, he’s likely to make up for his casting cost and ramp you into your bigger spells. This is a huge boon for Red decks, and if you have a cheap way to recur or retrigger his ability, he’s phenomenal.

It’s been pointed out that the combination of artwork and flavor text is very ableist in tone, and I can’t disagree. The art is very evocative, but the flavor text is really unfortunately worded. Regarding the ability, I don’t think it’s that great. It makes tokens too slowly to be threatening, and then he has to die before they can swing? I’ll pass. The one exception I can think of are sacrifice decks that need another Ophiomancer effect. Something to continually churn out a token every turn could be useful in the right context.

I actually really like Empowered Autogenerator. It’ll be too slow for a lot of decks, but you only need a few turns to get it going, and it’s likely to be a low priority target until it’s generating at least 3 or more mana. In a deck with cards like Unwinding Clock, Voltaic Key, or proliferation, this can get out of control pretty quickly. I’m willing to try it out.

This... doesn’t seem great. Maybe if you can create insane amounts of mana, you can make a little army or something? It’s probably best if you can copy tokens that have an ETB effect of some kind, but even then, I’m not seeing it.

As a Rolling Thunder variant, you could do worse. I really wish this could hit Planeswalkers and players too, because that would at least give it some added utility as a potential kill spell. As is, I doubt it has much potential.

This is cute. First of all, it’s an Indestructibility for Black, which makes it somewhat interesting if you’re looking to keep your commander or another crucial creature safe. But lots of Black decks have piles of sac fodder, which means this can often be cast for 3. Some decks with commanders essential to their plan may be interested in this.

Hate mirage is interesting. Ideally, you’ll want to find creatures with good ETB effects, but since you can’t pick your own creatures, you’re are the mercy of your opponents’ decks. In general, I think it’s not going to be good enough to merit a slot in most decks outside of Ghired, and even then it’s unsure.

Most of the time, this is only going to be the first ability, so I mainly see it being useful in decks that make lots of tokens. There’s some fun synergy with The Locust God, but I’m not sure if it’s enough to warrant a slot. It also works really well with cards like Smothering Tithe, because it doesn’t specify you have to create a creature token. Probably the best use for this would be in a token-centric White deck that doesn’t have lots of good access to card draw otherwise.

Fun flashbacky twist on Light Up the Stage and similar effects. It feels like it’s just slightly on the underpowered edge for most decks, but there might be some that like it for flavor or just for the fun of it. I do like that it doesn’t whiff if you hit lands, as you can still play those. There’s possibly some fun for it in a deck like Vial Smasher, since it can be some quick card advantage early, and once you have plenty of mana, casting it for 8 is a huge hit to the dome, plus can set you up for some other big plays. I dunno, it’s worth experimenting with.

Another fun morph counter variant to add to the morph pile. I also like that the cost to turn it up is pretty negligible, which makes this a fun trick people won’t be expecting. I’d play it in a dedicated morph deck, and probably not anywhere else.

Man oh man, people are salty about this card. And I’m here to say it really doesn’t matter. Honestly guys, this card is just not good enough to bother including in your deck. If you play against the same 3 decks every week, and those decks are Uril, Narset, and Sigarda, then by all means, run this card. But this is a card to answer specifically fucked up metas, and it’s just not good enough to run in your deck generically. Cus guess what, you’ll end up playing this against at a table against Oloro, Edgar, and Other Sigarda, and then won’t you feel fucking stupid? Yes, you will. Not a card worth being butthurt over when they’re printing cards like God-Eternal Kefnet in Standard.

Mandate of Peace is interesting. It’s a superpowered Fog that not only saves you for a turn, but also can counter any attack triggers that are on the stack in the process. If you’re running a deck that is interested in Fog effects, this is possibly the best one out there now, barring particularly synergistic things like Constant Mists in a lands deck or something.

Variant on a Polymorphist’s Jest. The cheaper cost and Flashback are nice, but Sorcery is a huge downside, since one of the big use cases of Jest is as a large-scale combat trick. Also, not nullifying abilities is unfortunate, since that’s the other place that Jest really shines. (Seriously, you haven’t lived until you’ve cast Polymorphist’s Jest against an Elf deck and suddenly their giant pile of synergies all turn off. It’s glorious.) Given all that, I’m not seeing it. Seems like an easy cut from the Flashback deck.

And here it is, the long-promised Black Enchantment removal. And honestly... meh. It’s cute, but the fact that your opponent gets to chose their worst among their Creatures and Enchantments makes me not think it’s going to work very often to hit the targets you want. Fun Standard card though. Oh wait...

As for Black Enchantment removal in general... I’m fine with it. I like that they’re not allowing for targeted removal. The ship has long since sailed on this, but I actually would have loved to see Blue get tertiary Enchantment removal, since it makes the most sense to me, flavorfully. (Seriously, the trope of smart Wizards being able to undo Enchantments is totally a thing, whereas this is... we made you so sad you gave up your Enchantment? Ehhhh.) The reason they can’t give it to Blue is that 1) Blue doesn’t need help, and 2) they’re dedicated to this idea that Blue can’t destroy anything. But, if we could have gone back far enough, there are some things I would have shifted out of Blue and into other colors that do need help, and allowed Blue to have Enchantment removal. But I’m not in charge, as I continually remind myself...

Super cute. Exile is super relevant, and it shouldn’t be hard to hit most of the table with it. And with a little luck and work, you can even set this up to be asymmetrical in your favor. I do wish it cost 4 mana, but that might be too good given the exile. Either way, I’d expect some decks to make good use of this.

Really? Of all the effects Green doesn’t need, better card draw is pretty much top of the list in my book. Like, does Green really need a Coastal Piracy? No, it very much does not. I’m okay with this effect on individual creatures like Ohran Viper, and on Auras like Keen Sense, but on a mass scale? I don’t think Green needs this, and it also doesn’t make much flavorful sense. In other words, I think the card is pretty good, and I can’t imagine that it won’t see play. Particularly in Snake decks and go-wide token decks.

Group hug rejoice! This is an auto-include in Zedruu decks, since even if they never activate it, you’ll get do draw cards. Also, I could see it being possible in mono Red or White decks that would enjoy the ramp & card draw and don’t have lots of access to either.

Pretty cute. It’s Nature’s Spiral with an upside, so I expect any decks running that will run this instead of or along with it. For decks with costly Commanders, this could merit inclusion. Shame you can’t put it in a Phage deck.

Probably the best new card in the set, other than maybe the Treasure Pirate dude, and that’s saying a lot. Any Commander with a good ETB effect is going to slam this card for sure. Just... yeah.

Also cute. Obviously this has a home in Reaper King decks, just for the creature type. But it’s got potential in other decks as well. Lands decks will be interested in the recursion, and some colors like mono White might be interested just for the ramp. Combos well with Land Tax, but it would be a lot better if it cost 3.

Very cute. The place where I think this has the most potential would be in some sort of flicker commander like Brago or Roon, because they’ll allow you to cheat on the mana cost of big creatures with this. Since there’s no inherent card advantage here, I’d rather run Primordial Mist or Whisperwood Elemental if I care specifically about having face-down creatures.

In the Populate deck, I think this has a home. Anywhere else, this is not a very efficient way to deal with Graveyards. But if you have good stuff to Populate, that’s just the extra upside.

I enjoy this card quite a bit. It’s a spell version of Sun Titan, and the Flashback is great. I would consider this in any deck I run the Titan in, as an extra way to get that type of effect. I’m also considering it for my Taigam deck, since that thing loves value spells to reuse over and over.

Meh, hard pass. Sorry, but a 3/3 flier just isn’t a card worth including in your deck, even if it can recur now and then. Granted, it doesn’t specify where you have to cast your Commander from, so it is a little better than it could be, but generally I’m not seeing it.

Ohhhhh.... what a huge missed opportunity. Why didn’t this cost 3WW? Then it could have been the start of a mega-cycle along with Inexorable Tide with the text “Whenever you cast a spell, [Mechanic]”. Seriously, how cool would that have been? Super cool, that’s what. As-is, it’s decent in the Populate deck, but 6 mana is a lot for a card that doesn’t do anything on its own. Cute with Smothering Tithe & other Treasure Tokens, giving you a mana back on every spell you cast.

Awww what a cute lil nugget! I like this card. Great trick for decks with plenty of creature fodder, and obviously fantastic in Zedruu (who is somehow getting lots of goodies this time around). Split Second is extra fun, since they can’t even respond to it. I’d consider this in any Blue deck with a decent number of expendable creatures.

Hellion is best if you can power him out early. Otherwise, you can cast Obliterate for one mana more and honestly, if you’re going for Land destruction, why not just do that? Maybe Lands decks like Lord Windgrace may be into this, because then if you have the most lands, you can still make use of the lands in grave. But overall this doesn’t seem that great.

Fun little riff off Burning Vengeance and Secrets of the Dead. Plays well with Kykar and Past in Flames. Not saying that’s what you have to do with this, but I’ll wait for you to tell me if that doesn’t sound glorious.

7 mana is a lot, but this starts generating advantage pretty fast. Shame it doesn’t help mana fix, which makes this better in multicolored decks than mono-Black, which would be the main home I’d look for it. I’d also consider it in gain-control decks like Sen Triplets, because the second ability may become relevant if you’re stealing lots of shit. This is a very 75% card.

Nekusar says “Hiiiiiiiiiii!” This little guy is A) Fucking adorable and B) actually pretty good. You definitely want to get at least 3 cards off this for it to be good, but the upside is enormous. Wheels decks will be all over this.

I mean, that’s a solid ETB effect, and will frequently draw you 2-3 cards. But for most decks looking for this type of thing (i.e. Elfball), the cheaper casting cost of Elvish Visionary is a huge boon. I don’t see this getting lots of play, as those decks only have so much room for 4 drops.

Interesting. It’s a fusion of Clone and Dungeon Geists, but that is for some reason also a Wall. So really it plays something like a Sower of Temptation, but that only lets you get access to the abilities of the target. Looking at it that way, I’d rather play Sower of Temptation unless I’m in a Walls deck like Arcades, in which case this is a cute piece of tech.

Really cute. I love cards like this, and the fact that it triggers on ETB and on upkeep makes this way better than some. I’d consider running it in Chaos decks or in decks like Vial Smasher, and I’m definitely going to put it in my Rakdos the Showstopper build.

So that’s it. All the new cards from Commander 2019. I’ve gotta say, I’m pretty impressed. Usually most of the new non-Legendary cards feel like big whiffs, but most of these seem like they could go in at least one deck. That’s a great place to start and I’m excited to see which cards become major players.

Have fun with Commander 2019!

#MtG #mtg commander

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junker-town · 7 years

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What baseball would be talking about if the first half didn’t exist

Baseball’s second half never gets as much attention as the first half. Let’s fix that.

Welcome back to another installment of “If the First Half Didn’t Exist,” an annual tradition that serves two purposes. The first is to remind you that we pay far, far too much attention to everything that happens in the first half of the season. The other is to acknowledge that we might not pay enough attention to what’s been happening in the second half of the season. The first half of every season disproportionately shapes our opinions of the entire season.

This is a way of pointing out what would seem important to us if the season started on July 13. Who would be the MVP front runners? Which teams would be building an insurmountable divisional lead? What would baseball be talking about, and how easy would it be for this information to color how we look at the entire season?

Well, let’s find out.

Sample headline if the first half didn’t exist:

The AL West is the best divisional race in baseball, but the Angels could run away with it

I want to sit here and plead caution and restraint. I want to remind you that we’ve played just under a couple months, and we don’t know anything yet, really.

Except that the Angels are the best team in the AL West.

Sure, they’re just 1½ games ahead of the Rangers and two games ahead of both the Astros and Mariners, and the Pythagorean record suggests that’s absolutely correct. The Angels have allowed far fewer runs than anyone in the division, and they’re on pace to win 91 games. That can change in a bad week, or even with one bad series, but ask yourself these questions:

Is C.J. Cron for real?

Was Luis Valbuena the sneakiest great signing of the offseason?

Is Andrelton Simmons able to keep his 759 OPS up?

If you can answer all of those in the affirmative, you have to be curious about just what this Angels team can accomplish, considering that their starting pitching has been an obvious weakness that they can improve at the deadline. The bullpen has been dominant, with Yusmeiro Petit and Blake Parker forming an unlikely shutdown core, and there’s already good news for the rotation with Garrett Richards coming back.

Sample headline if the first half didn’t exist:

The Cubs and Indians are still the best teams in baseball, just like we expected

We were spoiled with one of the greatest World Series ever last year, a mash-up of the logical and illogical, but there was just one tiny problem. The Cubs were at full strength, and the Indians were not. That’s not to cheapen the Cubs’ accomplishment, but a simple fact that reminds us that the transcendent World Series could have been something even more. The Indians at full strength, with a deep arsenal of starting pitching that’s the envy of baseball, were as terrifying as the Cubs at full strength.

And it looks like those two teams are on a collision course again.

The Cubs aren’t much of a surprise. They were the best team in baseball last year; they’re the best team in baseball this year (unless you’re partial to those FanGraphs projections that had the Dodgers being three games better, which lol). The Indians, though, were never a guarantee to get their pitchers back healthy.

They did, though, and they brought all of their hitters along. Both teams have the best records in their respective leagues, and here we go again. There are some other teams that will have something to say about that, of course. The Nationals have the same record as the Cubs, for example, and the Dodgers, Cardinals, and Diamondbacks aren’t too far behind. But it sure feels like we’re heading for a repeat of last year’s amazing Fall Classic.

I’m okay with that.

Sample headline if the first half didn’t exist:

The world owes us a Giancarlo Stanton/Rhys Hopkins Home Run Derby

Aaron Judge Rhys Hoskins is the flavor of the month, the rookie who looks like two Mark McGwires in a trenchcoat trying to sneak into an R-rated movie, a generic slugger out of central casting, and I can respect why everyone is excited. He’s new and he’s fresh, and he looks like someone was screwing with the sliders in the create-a-player setting.

Giancarlo Stanton seems like the Aaron Judge Rhys Hoskins of Christmas past, the T-800 to Judge’s Hoskins’ T-1000. That almost rings true, except Judge Hoskins is just two three years younger. Stanton is also an admittedly a much larger ogre, who is just as eager to flay and skin baseballs so that they will tell the other baseballs what happened to them. Stanton has done what Hoskins Judge is doing, but for much longer.

If there is justice in the universe, Stanton and Judge Hoskins will meet in the Home Run Derby final, and they’ll be responsible for folktales that are told after the collapse of civilization. Both of them consume whole goats as villagers throw stones at them, and it’s only fair if we get to watch them in the Home Run Derby, sending ball after ball into the spinning-marlin wormhole while kids run into each other below. Let this be one of your baseball wishes for the 2017 season.

Sample headline if the first half didn’t exist:

The Yankees should trade for Khris Davis

The Yankees are rolling again, seemingly ahead of schedule on the great reload-and-rebuild plan that has tripped up so many other franchises along the way. They’re pitching, which means they’re contending, and they’re even getting contributions from Chase Headley, who’s leading the team in OPS. Gary Sanchez is raking, Didi Gregorius continues to be a star ... it’s hard to be mad at the franchise when they pull this stuff every year.

There’s one problem, though: Their outfield is a light-hitting mess. Jacoby Ellsbury is doing fine, but his defense is slipping. Brett Gardner’s defense is fine, but his bat is slipping. And Aaron Judge is a mess who’s almost certainly going to be sent down.

The answer is right in front of them. Khris Davis is predictably thumping again, with 15 homers in a park that usually isn’t the most hitter-friendly. He fits the new Yankee Stadium like a glove, and Gardner’s arm is probably strong enough for right field. He’s under contract for two more years, too, which would help the Yankees as they ease into the future with prospects like Clint Frazier.

As to what the A’s would want, it seems like there’s a natural fit, here. If Aaron Judge’s ultimate ceiling is as a Khris Davis clone, why not agree to a one-for-one swap? The A’s get the extra years of team control, while the Yankees get the power they covet from Judge, but they don’t have to spend the rest of the season waiting for it to arrive.

Sometimes a trade comes along that makes too much sense. This is one of those times.

Sample headline if the first half didn’t exist:

Is Odubel Herrera the best player in the National League?

One of the oldest, purest questions in baseball has been effectively ruined by Mike Trout. “Who’s the best player in baseball?” has given way to “Who’s the second-best player in baseball,” and that’s no fun.

Except we have a challenger this year in Giancarlo Stanton, who has 27 home runs in just 186 at-bats, good for a 1186 OPS. That’s a performance that’s outstanding enough to start the conversation, at least. Has Stanton caught Trout?

And that’s where I sneak in with a surprise hot take: I’m thinking even Odubel Herrera might be better than Stanton.

It’s a bold call, considering the power surge that Stanton has been using the melt the NL, but consider Herrera’s defense, his position, his speed. Now look at his .381/.444/.673 line and parse just what that means. It’s a slash line that offers contact, patience, and power, all in the complete package of a player who can zip around the bases and the outfield.

It’s early. Charlie Blackmon has a similar line (albeit in Coors Field), and what Stanton is doing can’t be dismissed that easily. But no one would click on an article titled “Odubel Herrera Is On Another Level,” so this will have to do. The answer to the question posed in the headline is probably “no,” which would make Ian Betteridge happy, but I’m keeping an eye on this one. The Phillies have been looking for an offensive cornerstone, and early in this season, it looks like they’ve found two. Herrera just might be the best of them all.

Sample headline if the first half didn’t exist:

Man, the Giants suck

The Giants have had an awful start to the season, but here are 43 different reasons why everything should go much better for them soon:

1. Their players are mostly underperforming according to ZiPS, and that should ...

Remember this as we head into the postseason. The players we thought were magic, might not be. The teams that looked impervious might not be, and the teams that look impervious right now still had their rough stretches, which is why they’re not threatening the 2001 Mariners.

And, really, what is the postseason but baseball’s third half? I’ll see you in a month to write up “What baseball would be talking about if the first and second halves didn’t exist,” except I’ll call it “writing about the postseason.” Can’t wait.

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mrspettyferr · 6 years

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Rosehall Part 1

A/N: Had to do it. Post ACOFAS. Elriel.

- - -

Since the war, Elain did not have visions. She had dreams.

Roses.

“Elain?”

“Hello? Who’s there?” She tried to follow the voice, pushing past the vivid roses, dragging her hands through the petals and ignoring the thorns that struck her.

“Elain?”

“I’m here…where are you?”

She would look, and look, calling out to that voice, but she’d never find it.

She’d just wake up.

But Elain had found purpose. Or she was trying to. She had talked to Feyre and Mor about opening a small bakery or a greenhouse in Velaris. To which Mor had said why not a bakery inside a greenhouse. Elain thought it a brilliant idea. She wanted it to be as colorful and grand as in her dreams.

She wanted Nesta to have that. To find purpose, to find a dream and make it real.

“That looks very nice, Lady,” said Nuala, appearing on silent feet in a whisk of shadow.

“Not quite as lovely as your design with Cerridwen, I’m afraid,” said Elain.

Cerridwen, who had also quietly appeared at that moment, chuckled. “All in good practice, Lady. Would you like it packaged with your other items and sent to Lord Cassian?”

Nuala and Cerridwen nodded, took the cake, and vanished.

Alone in the kitchen, Elain decided to tidy up. She was in the middle of wiping down the counter, a spoon of buttercream in her mouth, when she felt him.

Slowly, she pulled out the spoon and set it on the table. Without looking up she said, “You are losing your touch, Spymaster.”

A soft chuckle. “Perhaps I wanted you to hear me.”

“Perhaps,” Elain amended. Now she did turn and looked at him. And swallowed a bit hard.

If he noticed her staring, he did not show it. “What did you make today?”

Elain started wiping the counter again. “Just a cake. For Nesta.” Biting her lip, she asked, “How is she? She hasn’t…hasn’t returned my letters.”

Elain fought a smile, but then she thought of her sister staying locked in her room, without an ounce of sunlight and only words on a page as her friend. “Perhaps I should go see her.”

She nodded, because she did trust him. “But it’s okay for Nesta?”

“Nesta is with Cassian,” he said carefully.

“But wouldn’t I be with you?”

Azriel went very still. Elain just blinked, her hand pausing mid-wipe. How that had sounded...She hadn’t meant…The words had just tumbled out of her.