#well that and i kept messing with the way i was coloring it lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bluewxrld07 · 3 months

Text

Cut My Hair

Cole Caufield x female!reader x Ethan Edwards

Warning(s): Angst, situationships, intentions of smut, hints to cheating

A/N: will be a mix of instagram posts :) enjoy!

Summary: Based off of Tate McRae's song Cut My Hair

celebrity.news just posted a photo!

liked by yourusername, yourbff and 18,796 others

celebrity.news Young and famous hockey star, Cole Caufield, seen at a club in Montreal after a post game win Saturday night! But the twist? The girl in the photos is NOT his girlfriend, well known social media influencer and future sports broadcaster, yourusername!! Possible trouble in paradise??

Click the link in our bio to read the article, and see all the photos and videos!

load more comments

user1 Oh no poor y/n 🥺

user2 She is literally the sweetest human being, that's so sad. I can't imagine how hurt she is right now.

user3 She must be so heartbroken right now, that girl in the photo is such a fucking home wrecker!!!

user4 I hope she's okay :( Cole doesn't deserve a baddie like her!!

yourbff just posted a photo!

liked by yourusername, edwards.73, trevorzegras, and 111,741 others

yourbff Heartbroken, angry, sad, confused. Those are just a few I feel for you y/n. He doesn't deserve a real girl like you. His loss baby, I'm so sorry. I'm headed your way right now, be there soon 💜

user has limited comments

user1 send her all of our love <3

jackhughes I am in awe. Let her know if she needs anything, I'll be there.

liked by yourusername

trevorzegras this shit isn't right. my heart goes out for her.

edwards.73 Lu and I are driving out right now. Should be there in twenty.

liked by yourbff

colecaufield I'm so sorry

comment deleted by yourbff

*one month later*

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, jackhughes, edwards.73, colecaufield, and 457,596 others

yourusername Just wanna cut my hair, lose myself, make u sweat

load more comments

user1 omfg YALL WAKE UP, MOM POSTED

user2 the hair color??? the BOB??? HELLO?!

user3 oh boy if this is her silently @ ing who I think it is, he's messed up with losing her

yourbff oh what is this? best friend is blessing my feed???

liked by yourusername

yourbff this bob and hair color was the move, my work here is done

liked by yourusername

jackhughes slay bestie

liked by yourbff

jackhughes He's a dumbass

liked by yourusername

user4 No because it is the fact that Cole liked this but didn't comment, speaks VOLUMES

user5 Cole done fucked up, she's about to slay this glow up

edwards.73 I'm bringing the vodka

yourusername please don't, I can't look at another thing of alcohol after last night lmao yourbff If he doesn't bring it, I will

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, edwards.73, colecaufield, and 601,978 others

yourusername just wanna cut my hair, little black dress, can't forget

load more comments

user1 I'm living for these Tate McRae lyrics

yourbff See??? I knew you'd post this one. Fucking hot ass best friend I've got, these men bouta be on the FLOOR tonight

user2 If she doesn't wind up under someone else tonight after what Cole did to her, I WILL CRY

user3 He be creeping on her page tho, I see his ass in those likes.......

tatemcrae a true goddess 😍

liked by yourusername

lhughes_06 I'm keeping an eye on you tonight

edwards.73 easy easy, I called dibs first yourbff Both of y'all put your dicks away, and chill out? After all it'll be me who takes care of my girly tonight 😙 yourusername None of you are taking care of me tonight, I'll be fine 🙄 edwards.73 That's what you said last weekend and whose bed did you wind up in.... yourusername shhhhh 😳 edwards.73 lhughes_06 kept me up most of the night edwards.73 Idk what you're talking about lhughes.43 yourusername me neither

user4 Am I sensing a lil sum sum between Ethan and Y/n???

User2 If it's happening, I neeeeeed to know because I'd be here for it

colecaufield 😧

yourbff just posted a photo!

liked by yourusername, edwards.73, lhughes_06 and 301,473 others

yourbff Just wanna show you, whatever she do, yourusername can do it better

tagged: yourusername, lhughes.43, markestapa, edwards.73

load more comments

markestapa What a fucking night

lhughes_06 I think I need a cleanse after that fiasco...

yourbff You sure it wasn't from the lake you boys decided to swim in at two in the morning?

lhughes_06 Don't remind me 😑 yourusername You guys were wilding' last night lhughes.43 markestapa says the wild one herself 🤔 lhughes_06 Yeah yourusername where did you and edwards.73 disappear off to? edwards.73 Nowhere yourusername Nowhere markestapa where tf did you come from edwards.73 edwards.73 I saw I was summoned, so I entered the chat yourbff All of you get out of my comments and argue in the group chat

user1 Ohhhh boy I smell quite the upgrade for miss y/n....

user2 If y/n is seeing Ethan Edwards I will die happy

user3 I'm so curious as to what's between those two rn. Whatever it is, y/n seems happier than when she did with Cole

liked by yourbff

colecaufield just posted a photo!

liked by jackhughes, kirbydach, trevorzegras, girlusername and 96,736 others

colecaufield Heard you got a new guy, that ain't fair

load more comments

user1 Nah because it's THE WAY he used Tate McRae lyrics from the same song yourusername has been using on her posts.....

user2 Cole my dude... she deserves better after you did what you did

jackhughes come on C you better than this

trevorzegras she deserves better bro, I'm with jackhughes on this one

girlusername See you soon 🥰

user1 lmfao this girl clueless as fuck user3 Oh honey.... you the home wrecker? sheesh.. user4 DAMN talk about a downgrade 🤣 liked by yourusername

user5 Y'all it's fine he's just depressed and in his feels because he be knowing he cheated and lost a good one

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by edwards.73, yourbff, jackhughes, lhughes_06, trevorzegras, and 817,748 others

yourusername Just wanna get messed up, find myself, in his bed

tagged: edwards.73

load more comments

user1 I KNEW ITTTTTTTT

user2 now THIS is a pair I can get behind

user3 Their kids are gonna be literal heartbreakers wtf

yourbff about fucking time I was getting antsy. Now get dressed we have a brunch to go to today.

yourusername yes mommy 😣 lhughes.43 Can I call you mommy??? yourbff No yourusername No

edwards.73 Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry.

yourusername Have you learned nothing?? edwards.73 you never said I couldn't call you mommy😝 yourusername You're unbelievable edwards.73 Do something about it🤭 liked by yourusername yourbff LET HER GET READY YOU ASSHOLE OR WE WILL BE LATE edwards.73 trevorzegras JOJO.....?? HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING...?! liked by yourusername, yourbff, edwards.73

jackhughes I feel like I need to cleanse my eyes from that conversation thread I just read 😨

yourusername You'll survive

liked by yourbff, lhughes_06, yourusername, markestapa and 778,240 others

edwards.73 Good girls, so overrated

tagged: yourusername

load more comments

user1 Wow now this is an upgrade. He gives her her OWN POST????

user2 Cole could never

user1 He was an embarassment

markestapa WOAH give us all a warning here fifty shades of grey!

yourbff Treat her like a queen, Edwards!!!!!!

edwards.73 No.... I'll treat her like a Goddess 🤩 yourusername How long did you wait to use that one? edwards.73 edwards.73 too long yourusername yourbff Long enough edwards.73

lhughes_06 Is the caption hinting that yourusername is a certified baddie?

yourbff yes edwards.73 yes yourusername yes markestapa yes jackhughes yes lhughes.43 Okay no need for the attack damn

yourusername My Eddy 🥰

edwards.73 My baby 😘

#cole caufield x reader #instagram post #social media au #hockey boys #hockey imagine #ethan edwards x reader #Luke hughes #jack hughes #trevorzegras #markestapa #romance #angst #Ethan edwards

303 notes · View notes

dwntwn-strnlo · 6 months

Text

SUNBURN - one

-------------- "when you're gone like sunburn or you're here like rain."

'~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~'

A/N ; first chapter of the sunburn series! :)

sorry it's kinda sad LMAO

SYPNOPSIS ; run regret run regret

PAIRING ; matthew sturniolo x reader

CONTENT WARNING ; language, verbal arguing, crying, mentions of 'y/n', not proofread. italics are flashbacks

picking up the phone, matt stared at the black screen for several long seconds before picking it up and unlocking it. opening his camera roll that he should've closed hours ago. lining his sight with hundreds of pictures of you hooked on his arm, grinning with the glint of the sun.

his heart fought his brain desperately, begging him not to open his contacts and pull up your contact. blue, tired eyes lingering on your name that he whispered and giggled a million times before. the name he should've deleted months ago.

"im sorry matt, but i can't fucking do this anymore." you whispered, your voice crumbling beneath you. "its too difficult and i've put in so, so much effort already."

"y/n come on im just trying to protect you!" matt shouted in a desperate attempt to keep you from walking out the front door.

"protect me after i've made my own fucking decisions!" you shot back, your eyes welling up with tears. "i love you matt, but i can't love you if im hidden away. even your brothers don't know we're together."

his face dropped, eyes growing heavy with regret. "you know i'm keeping you from them for a reason." he muttered, crossing his arms.

you sit down on the couch dropping your head in your hands. running one last thing through your mind, you stand up. meeting matt's eyes for the last time. "i can't fight with you right now. i need to eat."

"y/n." matt mumbled your name, fighting his emotions to the best of his abilities. "please don't le-"

you took in the color of his eyes for one last second before turning around and walking down the stairs.

in that moment matt couldn't figure out why he didn't run out the door after you. his feet glued to the floor like a fly trap. the only thing he could do was beat himself for the way he kept shoveling dirt out of the deep, deep whole he made himself. tunneling himself in a lie just to protect the girl he loved most.

the last thing you hear is your name lightly whispered-more to himself then to you-before you slam the door shut.

matt drops his phone on his bed, no longer feeling the cozy aroma that it used to be. standing up from the bed, he kneels down to the floor, sitting down and lifting up the brown comforter. pulling the comforter up from where it dangled on the floor, he blindly reaches under and pulls out a box.

taking in a deep breath he opens the cardboard box, setting the lid on the floor. dipping his hands into the contents of memories, he pulls out a scrapbook that's collected almost three months worth of dust. opening it, his eyes only search for a second before he slams it back shut and closes his eyes.

reopening his eyes, he lifts up the cover, staring at the first picture. it's a picture of you and matt last summer when you went to florida. your looking the camera, and matt is looking down. smiling brightly at you, admiring you as much as he'd hate to admit it.

all he can find himself do is flip through the faded pages, reminiscing on what could've been forever. all messed up because of one stupid mistake.

putting everything back under his bed, and staying on the floor, he grabs his phone and hits call. hesitantly pressing it up to his ear. "we're sorry, but the phone number you reached is no longer in s-" his face drops, and so do the tears he had so desperately held to himself.

TAGLIST

@thetriplets3 @stxrniqlo @ifilwtmfc @iha8you @oneirophobic @20nugs @gracietaylorsversions @fenoy7 @mlimmm @prettysturniolo @ssturniolo @gabbylovesreading @oh-toseewithoutmy-eyes @matthewmurdockswife @jellybeanbby @slaysturniolo @iheartshifting @mxqdii @luvsturniolo @lvrsparadise

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #//sunburn//#matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo angst #matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader

116 notes · View notes

yanderecandystore · 10 months

Note

Hi I'm brazilian, sorry if my english is wrong. But I can order a yan with a sweet wizard boy where he lives in a house made of candy and attracts people for him to devour, I don't know if you've read the story of the brother grimms, of Hansel and Gretel (or Br: João e Maria). How about this concept?

I'm so sorry but I struggled with this one so bad, I made so many versions of this but always fucked up at the candy house part 💀 (I couldn't imagine how to write the reader getting inside, or even finding it even though it was supposed to be the most obvious part lmao) It's very short 👉👈

Also lmao your English is great boo, welcome to the candy store, thank you for sharing with me this idea! It was actually pretty funny how challenging I thought it was X'D

TW/Tags: a little sadistic/more dehumanizing yandere // mentions of: weird/abusive family dynamics; cannibalism; drugging; kidnapping; gore; severed body parts; the usual yandereness although without the soft/lovey fluff I usually write // delusional (he is as sweet as someone who who eats humans could be- I want to write more but I kept messing up so much I died ⚰️)

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Pumpkin Pie [Yandere!M!Cannibal!Wizard/Witch x GN!Reader - Scenario (?)]:

You were having tea inside a colorful house, your vision was very blurry and your ears felt clogged, and to make things harder to understand there was a heavy and pretty mixed up smell of sweets and candies, overwhelming your nostrils… You don't remember when or how you got in, or why, but the tea was nice so you kept drinking.

You were having a nice time with a stranger who you don't really remember the name of… He wore a weird suit for your town's weather, actually it was just off in general… But you thought it looked nice…

He smiled at you blissfully, clearly having a good time… You felt like you were having a good time as well… You like to think so.

Okay, to be honest you couldn't feel a single thing, your legs were numb and you felt like your head was way too heavy to move it around. You barely felt awake at all. So you just assumed it was probably a strange dream, after all you didn't know this man, right?!

He was talking to you… You didn't understand what he was saying, the smell of something tasty was being baked… Pumpkin pie maybe…? How long have you gone without one of those? Your father didn't like how much sugar you ate, so you were restricted to only a few sweets… But he probably wouldn't be mad about one slice of pumpkin pie, right?

The man patted your head endearingly as he smiled at you, he seemed to not care much about how you weren't paying attention at all… You thought that was sweet of him considering you were always considered an airhead by your family.

… Speaking of them- Shouldn't you go home soon? I mean, this is very pleasant and all but you don't remember how long you've been here and the things that happened beforehand feel like a blur… Your family had a curfew and you didn't want to get in trouble again for breaking it.

Ah, but what could you do? You were just so curious about the forest beside the mansion. You secretly hoped to see fairies or anything magical whenever you went there, ah, how wonderful it was to escape your responsibilities as middle child for at least a few moments.

Sure, your family was wealthy, a lot better than most people in town, but you wished you didn't have to stay inside all day… Your older siblings would get to work with the family mine business while your younger siblings got to play and study all day long, and you? You were sort of the second servant of the house, there were many expectations placed on you and not enough attention to your interests and dreams…

You already miss Ms. Bell, she is such a nice lady and sadly your only friend in a big almost always empty mansion. Actually, you're not even all that bothered about being a "second servant" because you actually like helping her out.

Ah, sweet Bell… She always told you to be careful out in the woods, people would often go missing, especially people who have zero expertise about finding their way in and out… Ms. Bell, always so caring and wise… If only your family listened to you more like she does…!

While you kept drifting into different topics inside your own head, your vision was starting to come back to you and your ears seemed to get better after a while… Your head was still very heavy and it aches as you look around and notice- This guy has a weird taste for decor! Seriously, there's candy everywhere!! Actually… Was everything MADE out of candy?! What the hell?

Wait, you can hear humming, you can hear him better now, he is singing a nice tune as he gets up and takes care of the pie in his oven.

"You're finally awake, or at least more awake now! I'm sorry for what happened before, the dose I gave you was probably too strong, I guess it is just a habit of mine. Please forgive me." The man said in a joyful way, smiling at you like he did before… His voice was familiar but nothing to really help you remember.

"I guess I haven't introduced myself properly, then again I didn't think you would make it this far- I don't know why but I couldn't bring myself to let you go to waste. You have a very sweet smell and I couldn't help but wonder what it would taste like." He acts as if what he said was a compliment, and you strangely enough nod your head, feeling a little dazed still.

Yeah… but, what was he talking about? This conversation was weird and it was starting to worry you a little bit.

He brought to the table you were sitting on his pie so it could cool down while you two chatted, and filled the table with a plate of muffins and another of small bread. They looked incredible!

"You can eat how many you like! Consider yourself my guest, it's actually very nice to have someone over after such a long time…" He sat down in front of you and started to pour you more tea.

"I think it's clear to see I don't really do this, well, my name is Zirick, and this is my house! Don't worry, I'm not mad about what you did earlier, it happens all the time! And of course, my house was pretty much made for it, ya know?"

You didn't understand what he meant, so you told him your name and apologized for not only not remembering what you did but also for doing something that would offend him.

"Oh Pumpkin, it's okay! It's my fault your head is as empty as my cup of tea- My spell was supposed to just knock you out but I guess it was a little too strong and in return made you lose a few memories! But don't worry it'll come back eventually…"

"What I'm talking about is that you stumbled around my land and… Well, after seeing my house you couldn't help but want to take a bite off my walls! But I fixed them already so that's fine."

What? He knocked you out with a spell?? For eating his walls?! That entire sentence didn't make sense to you, you would never randomly eat someone's walls!! Even if they were delicious and even if you… do remember snacking on them… a little bit…

Ugh your mind was a flurry of thoughts, it was like different ingredients being violently mixed together and not mixing well! (Heh, cake comparison! You sure he would have loved to hear that one).

Well, invading someone's property like that was not a good thing but you weren't sure if knocking them with a spell or two was a good way to deal with an intruder… Still, you apologized and said you were going to find a way to pay him for his sweet wall. He waved you off laughing to himself.

"Oh but human money is worthless to me, and besides you have already paid me- Oh! Speaking of which, I just have to make sure this pie tastes good- I would offer you but I don't think it would taste, little Pumpkin."

He started to cut himself a slice… It was very red and meaty for a "pumpkin" pie, yet it smelled like one to you… And to him too.

Your senses were starting to get to you, you started to feel worried as the man was staring at you expectantly, you looked around and saw a peppermint clock on the wall, it marked 10 and you were sure by the darkness outside the window it meant 10p.m. You tried to get up and excuse yourself, after all you needed to get home soon or your family would end up getting mad at you.

But before you could actually walk away, you fell hard into the ground. You noticed you weren't feeling your legs properly, that's because one of them was missing.

"Don't roll away now, you're my guest today, remember? And besides, how far can you go without help, silly?" Zirick came to your aid very quickly and helped you get back to the chair immediately.

You tried to push him away, you bit him, you slapped him and even tried to kick him with one leg- It didn't work, he still knew how to tranquilize you into going back to your dreamland…

"Shh… Ah, how sad. All my guests get like this… You're a little fiesty for such a sweet Pumpkin, but I somehow can't get enough of your company, perhaps when you wake we can start again…"

He licked his dirty, bloodied fork eagerly. Normally he would have turned you into a massive pie but he wasn't THAT hungry and surely just a leg would be enough, and you were adorable walking around in the woods like a little adventure! He couldn't help but trick you into coming closer and eating a piece of his house- He needed a reason to get you inside of course, an eye for an eye, as they would say.

He isn't sure how he'll go about this but he likes your company, especially when you're too dazed to have any inhibitions or sense of privacy when talking to him! He could hear you sleepily mumble for hours, you were just so sweet to talk to, and to taste!

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #yandere oc #choco stuff #a sweetheart asked:#yandere x reader #yandere cannibal #yandere wizard #yandere witch #yandere male #yandere male x reader #gn!reader #yandere!cannibal x reader #yandere!wizard x reader #special delivery request #special delivery scenarios #special delivery headcanons

111 notes · View notes

eunnieboo · 2 years

Text

life update + graphic novel FAQ!

hello! i’ve been hard at work on my book, but i wanted to share one of my favorite panels ♥ and i thought i’d take a moment to answer some asks! hope everyone has been well~

book Q&A:

🌸 chippedmoon asked:

Hi! I just found your Momo and Priscilla art and I’m wondering: where are they from???? I really want to read about or watch them. Thanks!!!

hello!! momo and pg are my original characters! you’ll be able to read about them in my upcoming graphic novel (!!!)

🌸 desmond-the-queer-dragon asked:

Hey! I just saw your artwork and I am absolutely in LOVE!! When is your graphic novel coming out and what will the title be??? IM BEYOND HYPED

🌸 chronodisplaced asked:

Hi! When is your graphic novel out? Is it out yet? I'd love to read it :)

AHH thank you so much!!! it’s going to be called If You’ll Have Me, and it’s currently slated for fall 2023! we originally planned for a spring release but had to push things back because of industry-wide supply chain issues, printing delays, etc... for a more in-depth explanation i found this twitter thread very helpful!

🌸 sleeepyinseattle asked:

Hi! Love Momo and PG. Do you have an estimated release date and/or link to your graphic novel? I'd love to purchase it when it comes out!

thank you so much! i’ll definitely be sharing preorder links when they are available, and the second i can confirm a date, i promise i will not shut up about it! i’m very bad at being active online but i really am excited and anxious to share this little story with the world.

🌸 Anonymous asked:

Hi! I absolutely am in love with your artwork and original characters. I remember reading a while ago that there was production happening to animate them. Is that still happening?

thank you! oh gosh, i think you might be referring to the graphic novel that was announced? other than that, i can only think of this short animation i made of momo for fun. but if there was an official animation happening i would 100% be losing my mind

🌸 Anonymous asked:

You don't know how fast I'm gonna buy your graphic novel THE SECOND it comes out

OMG!! THANK YOU AW... just seeing people excited about it and looking forward to it really brings a tear to my eye. i’ve kept a lot of asks regarding the book announcement (and momo / pg in general!) because they are so sweet and kind... i appreciate all of them so much, thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

misc Q&A

⭐️ Anonymous asked:

Hello! I looked on your socials and didn't see anything, so I was curious if you offer prints/would be interested in starting to do so? That piece that you posted on November 7th made me tear up a little and I would love to add it to my wall of sapphic art.

thank you so much! i actually planned to reopen my shop this summer but had to push it back because i’m so busy. i’m still aiming for the end of this year though! i’ve been in touch with a company that does store management and bulk fulfillment, so i’m optimistic. the last time i had to pack and ship everything from home and oh my god... how do people do this regularly. my deepest apologies to everyone who previously ordered from me because i realized there were so many ways i could’ve done better after the fact. keeps me up at night sometimes lmaO

(this next ask is in reference to my rem / misa fanart and the first time i saw it in my inbox i screamed in delight. just wanted to give everyone the context so we can fully appreciate this)

⭐️ Anonymous asked:

they’re actually t4t goth gfs because i said so

anon how does it feel to have the biggest brain

(end of q&a! you can stop here if you'd like to skip my little diary entry. haha)

general life update

i wanted to make this post three months ago but in a tragic turn of events, the one day i set aside to accomplish some personal tasks made a terrible mess of my plans 😔 the deadline i mentioned back then was for inks, so i’ve since moved on to color! i’ve been working in the morning, then coloring in the evening and through the night. it’s pretty grueling, but i’m trying to be good about stretching and resting because if my body disintegrates i can’t draw more gay shit and what then?

i feel like i’m doing okay, all things considered! i’m just tired mostly. god, i’m so tired...

this book has been my life for all of 2022 which is why i don’t have much else to talk about 😂 i have a big deadline coming up so i’m really hustling right now. i actually have to deal with packing and moving as soon as i’m done, so i’m not sure when i’ll pop up again! maybe late september, maybe october... we’ll have to see!

thank you everyone for your endless patience ❤️

#if you'll have me #anon #replies #chippedmoon #desmond-the-queer-dragon #chronodisplaced #sleeepyinseattle #iyhm

528 notes · View notes

cummin-n-cryin · 2 years

Note

Second part of the bride ask but with Riddle, Azul and Vil pls? Thank

~Thank you for your request!

Together Forever! -- part 2!

Riddle Rosehearts + Azul Ashengrotto + Vil Schoenheit x gn!reader (all separate)

Tw: Yandere, obsession, forced marriage, a lil bit of stalking?

Side Note: My requests are open! I'm out of requests after this fic gets posted so feel free to send me requests and stuff! I literally can't write without requests lmao. I just wanna say thank you to everyone who has reblogged/liked/commented on my posts, it means the world to me and it encourages me to keep writing! Seeing Together Forever! get over 150 notes blew my mind and I'm just super happy you all enjoyed it so much! Thank you again and i hope you enjoy part 2!

~Riddle Rosehearts~

Riddle is conflicted about you. As he watches you from a distance, he can't help but to contemplate his emotions for you. There was this specific feeling that he would get when he looked at you and over time it felt like it was almost... slowly devouring him. What was this feeling?

Riddle had requested you to help Deuce and Ace paint the roses. You were meticulous. You rarely messed up anything he asked of you and almost always did everything perfectly. Not only that, but you were so kind, polite, and most notably, you were not afraid of him like the others.

Whenever you were there for tea parties he would always reserve you a chair right next to his. That way he can hear you better, of course!

He would ask you about your life; how you were doing at Ramshackle, how your studying was going, and other things about yourself. However, you would also ask him questions. It made him excited to think that you cared about him.

There were times where Trey or Cater made teasing comments about his attitude towards you, saying how he seemed to have a "soft spot for you" and how "red in the face" he would get whenever you complimented him. Cater had asked him if he was in love with you. Riddle immediately denied being in love with you and that if Cater wanted to be treated as nice as you then maybe he should do his job correctly. How absurd, him in love with you?

Riddle would also offer to help you with your studies. He has one of the best grades in NRC, so it was only natural that he should help you. He always tried to help you with anything else he could as well. He wanted to be near you all the time, but he also had to follow the Queen of Hearts rules.

He wants you so bad and he doesn't know why. Riddle's feelings kept growing bigger and stronger, and yet he still couldn't name what it was that he felt for you.

At least until today...

Here he was, dressed in a crimson colored suit watching you as you laugh at the antics of Ace, Deuce, and Grim. To say Riddle was irritated would be an understatement. He was about ready to burst a blood vessel watching you hang out with those three. He doesn't know how, why, or even when he got so possessive over you, but honestly right now he was too blinded by his own barely suppressed anger to question these feelings.

He knew he just needed to get you away from them.

Riddle being as open and honest with you as he was, it was inevitable that you would ask about his family life, and of course he told you all about his parents and more specifically his mother. He didn't like to talk about his parents but the way you put your hand on his arm, looking deep into his eyes with sympathy and kindness, telling him how he could always vent to you if he needed to, that you would always be there if he needed someone to talk to, made him feel listened to for the first time.

Yes, he was gonna make sure that you would always be here with him, and he knew that this "marriage event" being hosted at the school was a perfect opportunity.

Riddle didn't have to wait too long to make a move as you had left the trio on your own. You left into one of the hallways of the school and Riddle quickly followed you.

"Y/n! There's something we need to discuss."

Riddle never imagined himself lying to you, but how else was he supposed to convince you to marry him? He told you that his mother had been bothering him about finding a partner lately, and that if you could help him make her leave him alone even just for a couple of weeks, he would be extremely grateful. He made you believe that the marriage wasn't real and it was purely just for getting his mother to leave him alone. You fell for it easily, being the sympathetic and kind person you were.

He was overjoyed. The marriage went exactly as he wanted it to. When Riddle first saw you in your new outfit he was completely enthralled. He couldn't take his eyes away from you. When you caught him staring was when he reluctantly tore his eyes away, quickly saying how you looked very lovely.

He did expect you to be upset knowing he lied, and as your tears flowed down your face, he kissed them away one by one before he finally placed his lips upon yours. This was the moment he finally realized that Cater was right, he loved you. Everyday he will prove to you that he was the best choice. There is no way back now.

And to all those who may try to take you from him, it will be off with their heads!

"I love you my King of Hearts. Now, promise to never leave me."

~Azul Ashengrotto~

Azul has been watching you for awhile now. He sees potential in you, your ability to solve other people's problems, and your ability to tolerate the antics of Ace, Deuce, and Grim is truly phenomenal. Also, being on the good side of so many people in NRC surely has it's benefits. He wants to get you to sign one of his contracts as your abilities could be... useful.

Unfortunately for Azul, he didn't actually know that much about you. So he sent his two "companions" Jade and Floyd to gather information about you, as he is a very busy man and doesn't have all day to watch you himself.

After seeing you in multiple classes of his, and having gathered as much information as he could about you, he made his move. In potions class was the first time he approached you. Even though you told Azul you didn't need help, he made himself your partner and went on to help you with the class anyway, and in every class you two ended up in he would try to help you there as well, saying it was out of the "kindness of his heart".

(obviously that's a lie...)

Over time as he tried to interact with you more and more. He grew much closer to you and eventually, you started to have full conversations with him. He was ecstatic! With you finally starting to talk to him he was one step closer to using you for his own plan- I mean using your excellent communication skills to better his relationship with everyone else at the school. He just had such a hard time getting people to trust him... sigh, how unfortunate...

However over time he grew more and more curious about you. He was starting to genuinely care about your opinions, and was curious to hear what you had to say about different topics (especially if it was about him). He also realized you were intelligent, kind, and surprisingly, weren't as foolish as he first thought. Not only that but you were quite witty and amusing. He had started to take a special interest in you.

As you two talked more and became what one could consider friends, Azul realized he started to think of you constantly. He was always wondering where you were, what you were doing, and how you were doing. He was becoming frustrated, you were always on his mind and he hated it. Even at night he tossed and turned in his sleep thinking about you. He wanted you, and he wanted you badly. He needed to have you, to keep you.

Azul had tried to convince you to make a deal with him for a long time now, but you always refused to sign any contract he offered to you. You always rejected him politely saying how you didn't need his help or some other pitiful excuse. He needed you to sign his contract, he needed to make you his. He was running out of ideas at this point, he just couldn't figure out how to make you sign his contract.

Luckily, he didn't need to keep thinking about it for too much longer.

A "marriage event", being hosted at NRC? This was just spectacular!

Azul watched you from the sidelines as you talked to a couple of students. The students however were getting very... handsy with you. They kept trying to lean closer to you. You looked like you were getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute. He watched on as his anger bubbled in the back of his throat. He wanted to tell them off, but knowing better he held his tongue and continued to watch. Finally, you turned and quickly left the group. This was his chance, it's now or never!

Azul silently followed you out into the empty hallway you had escaped to, he approached from behind and tapped you on the shoulder.

"I saw you run from your group of "friends", did something bad happen? Go on, you can tell me all about what's troubling you."

Azul listens intently to you as you tell him what happened. He feels his anger boil once again as you describe how they were making you feel so uncomfortable. After you're done speaking, Azul tells you how terrible those people are for trying to hurt a kind soul like you.

But Azul can fix this for you... he offers you a deal, if you "marry him" at the end of this night he will give you anything you could possibly wish for, and he will make sure to send Jade and Floyd to go teach those fools a lesson.

Of course he expects you to be hesitant, but he reminds you that this whole event is fake, remember? So you're not going to be actually married, and it's just for one night so, it's not that bad of a deal, right?

Seeing how desperate you were to get those people away from you, you ended up signing the contract. Thank the Sea Witch, as Azul was starting to doubt himself there!

The wedding itself was kept short and simple. He placed the ring on your finger, and you both said your vows. Finally at the end of it all he takes you to Mostro Lounge to serve you dinner for putting up with everything. He had to admit he didn't think he would get this far, but he wasn't going to complain.

When you finally started to sway in your seat was when he decided to tell you that he had lied to you. Your shocked face amused him greatly, and when you started to cry and yell about how cruel Azul was for tricking you, he gently grabbed you and greedily placed his lips upon yours. He wanted more... He wasn't going to be satisfied with just this.

You fell to the ground not too long after he kissed you. Being the cunning octopus he was, he predicted how you'd react to the news and had drugged your food. Putting you to sleep so that he could carry you to his bedroom for the time being, and once you wake up he's sure you'll have a lot of questions to ask him.

It was for the best. You'll learn to love him eventually.

"Oh you poor, unfortunate soul. Everything you have is mine to take, including your love."

~Vil Schoenheit~

Vil really didn't think much of you at first, you were just another student to him.

But there was something about you that captured his attention. There was this... confidence about you, this hidden beauty perhaps? As much as Vil wanted to observe this hidden beauty himself he was too busy to do so, so he requested Rook to "watch you" for him.

From what Rook has told him, you were usually hanging out with Ace, Deuce, and Grim. Those three were troublemakers, noisy and disruptive, causing problems wherever they went. And here you were fixing every mistake they made. Why? He knew you could do better than them. A beauty like you shouldn't be around such potatoes.

Those three weren't worth your time, and he was gonna make you see that.

He had invited you to the Pomefiore dorm, offering to help you with your clothes and makeup, and to give you a break from those three nuisances. His main intention however was to talk to you and to get closer to you, so that maybe with you so close to him he will finally understand what this strange beauty of yours was.

You always seemed to enjoy the pampering he gave you and your talks were always pleasant. Over time, as he invited you to the dorm more, you two grew closer and closer.

He couldn't lie after you spent so much time with him, your confidence and beauty just seemed to grow. Of course this was expected. His skills in fashion, makeup, and everything else beautiful was simply remarkable, as Rook would often tell him.

However, Vil's plans of getting even closer to you were crumbled, when a certain event at NRC took place.

A "marriage event" was what it was, and apparently you were the main focus of this event. Oh, how interesting...

Vil offered to help you with your clothing and makeup as soon as he heard about it, and being so close together now, you accepted his help graciously.

He had to admit this had to be one of his finest works yet. You were god-like in your beauty, you easily outshined all the other people here, besides him of course. Graceful like a swan and head held high, he watched on in awe of his work. He suddenly came to a realization, your beauty was unmatched, you were the most gorgeous person he has ever met, and would probably ever meet in his lifetime.

He had to keep you. Only he knows how to make you shine like this, only he knows how to make you even more beautiful than this. He knew the perfect way to keep you by his side... forever.

Vil saw you chatting with a group of boys and walked up to you. He whispered for you to follow him out into the empty hallway, saying that your makeup had been smudged and he needed to fix it. He would settle for nothing less that absolute perfection.

As Vil "fixed" your makeup he gently proposed an idea. He told you how you looked stressed talking to those boys, and how you honestly just looked stressed about this whole event in general. But, he can make the night go by a little bit faster, instead of wasting your time looking for a boy, why don't you just "marry" him instead, hmm?

Of course you're surprised by his offer but considering this whole event is fake and that no one is actually getting married, his offer doesn't seem so bad. Besides Vil is a good friend of yours now, isn't he?

He wasn't too surprised by how easily you agreed, after all with how much information Rook was able to gather about your personality and interests, it was mere child's play to get you to trust him.

The wedding went smoothly as planned. Of course, Rook was there singing praises and yelling something or other about beauty. (as he typically does...)

And when you came crying to Vil the next day, shoving your phone in his face, he saw your marriage was trending on Magicam! Now the whole world knows who you belong to. And before you could ask anymore ridiculous questions, he leaned in and hushed you with a kiss.

He was doing what was best for you, you just couldn't see that yet.

"Together we will show those potatoes what true beauty is. We will be the fairest of them all."

#yandere twst x reader #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #vil schoenheit #tw yandere

602 notes · View notes

leenfiend · 9 months

Text

I thought the Two Slow Dancers comic would be a fun opportunity to break down my process a lil bit cause this was a lot of undoing and redoing and adding so for any ppl curious it will be under the cut!!

So to start off I actually only thumbnailed what is now page five and six, the original image in my mind was them reaching out to each other in different seasons clothing, I considered just making an animated version of that but then I connected it to the two slow dancers scene I had imagined in my head a month or so back and wanted to make it part of a small narrative:

(I actually did page six first - u can tell by the way my writing is nearly incomprehensible that this idea came to me like a vision in the night)

But then looking at that i said - well surely that doesn’t tell the story enough. I need more. And then I played two slow dancers on repeat for probably an hour while I thumbnailed a surrounding narrative for those two pages and ended up with this mess:

And from there I actually started working on the lineart two pages at a time - I like working on freakishly large two page spreads because to me it helps the flow feel more cohesive, I don’t look at them as isolated pages until I get to the shading part of the process.

But once I sent it to some ppl for feedback and reread it myself a million times I felt like the story still wasn’t reading the way I wanted it to - two out of six pages were “flashbacks/memories” pages and that ratio didn’t really allow for the other four pages to read as a cohesive story in my opinion so I kept trying to workshop two more pages for the front and I went through a few iterations:

I thought at first I would show the outside of the garrison, give the audience more of a setting, and then show the flyer so we know Keith is getting ready for this celebration. But it was too literal for me (even though what I ended up doing was still pretty literal lmao). So then I started with the phone/text messages as a story telling device:

Also this is an example of how I almost always draw the comic panels before I decide what goes in them haha, unless I’m really sure what images I plan on focusing in on the panels almost always end up informing what goes inside if that makes sense. But I finally ended up here when I decided “that’s good enough”

I even did most of the lineart for this composition before I decided the imagery of the jacket was just too repetitive, like we don’t need THREE PAGES of keith putting on a jacket.

So i kind of just moved the left page over to the right, and left the right page blank for most of the rest of the comic process. I finished most of the lineart on the rest of it before I finally circled back and decided to go with a tweak of what I originally thought was a lame idea (I had this image in my head of the lions silhouette against the glow of the Earth for the first page, but with the lyrics “the ground has been slowly pulling us back down” I thought it was just too cheesy, especially because that’s not what the lyrics mean either in the song or in the context of this comic and I didn’t want them to be perceived as so literal)

So this is the thumbnail I landed on for that which eventually turned into the actual final page.

Once I had all of the thumbnailing done the rest was pretty fun work! Just lots of going back in and detailing out the scribbles I had first put down. Now in terms of color, I actually have a secret. Most times I don’t color much at all? It depends on the piece but for most of my comics what I do is this -

I flat greyscale color everything and then use a color curve adjuster inside of procreate to pick a color pallet:

color adjusters are ur friend for picking color pallets i'm TELLING YOU!! I used to have a lot of trouble with cohesive color comps but it's a lot easier for me even without using this method now. Anyway I usually leave it here, in my other comics I don't have any shading or background elements outside of the panels but I figured since I was working so much on this comic anyway, I might as well light it a bit. So I basically just scribbled over the whole composition with a purple marker set on a multiply layer and then erased out the places I wanted light to hit, and then added a soft light layer with colored lights to give it more of a party look:

The only hang up I had during the coloring process of all this was how to color the "memory" pages. I originally just wanted them to be more pastel/blue, I thought that would make them look distinct enough. So I painted/shaded this whole page before looking at it within the rest of the composition and deciding it didn't read well at all and ended up sliding the saturation down to zero and calling it a day:

But I'm happy with that decision because it allowed for the "coming into color" moment with the other memory page and I think it connects better to the rest of the comic visually that way. And that was the whole process! There were tons of other little adjustments I made along the way and other composition things I tried out but I do tend to erase instead of iterate in layers so this is the process I have to show you! As a little bonus behind the scenes, here's the time lapse replay of that initial thumbnail for all eight pages! (it is sideways just because it's so large so if you're on a phone/tablet/laptop just turn ur screen sideways otherwise I'm so sorry lmao)

#my art #this is so long but i like 2 talk about process stuff lol #i also would love to see anyone else do a breakdown like this i LOOOVEEE seeing how other people work.#and feel free to steal any way I do anything ever (it is not stealing it's simply learning and using artistic practices that u are drawn to #colleen thoughts #also i use the 6B pencil in procreate for all of my linework ever and all of my thumbnailing im a one brush type of person #and it's like a default brush too lmao

23 notes · View notes

seariii · 3 months

Note

I'm sorry things feel so overwhelming. I promise there's no being left behind! Everyone is doing everything at their own pace, no matter how it may look. You are right where you're supposed to be :)

While I'm here uhhhh can I hear about the girls kissing and holding hands!!!!

Hii lovely anon! Thank you... Yeah life is not a race and I really should chill about that heh... Thank you

About my girls, let's see... What can I tell you about them... Let me see if I have some old drawings! (After searching) okay some of this are bad but hey Seari was experimenting lmao

Infodump under the cut

Okay so, I was particularly thinking about this two girls, their names are... Well... I guess I should talk about context first

(I did this quick sketches to explain lmao)

So, they are childhood friends (there is actually a third friend, it was a group of 3, but she has her own stuff going on). They are orphans, and well, grew up on an orphanage. The girl with the side ponytail arrived after an accident that took away her parents, and she, reasonably, was a crying mess and was badly depressed. The girl with the long hair kept insisting and insisting to look after her, to befriend her, and would pull her along on her silly adventures.... Actually I feel bad for not talking about the third one

(old drawing) so, this is the 3

The girl with long hair is kinda... Hmm... Innovative let's say, and she loooooves nicknames, so she just calls herself A, and that's how the other two girls know her as, and a nickname that stuck the rest of their lives (her name is Arely). The side ponytail girl goes by M (Mimi), and the green haired girl is K (Karen).

A would always pull M along everywhere, and M is extremely grateful for that, she feels like she saved her. K was also dragged along and as much as she hated to admit it, she enjoyed the other 2's company.

K was serious and easy to anger, she had very little patience and would prefer to so stuff on her own instead of dealing with others, and used to be like that until one day after M's arrival she did something for her. She saw her struggling and without hesitation went and helped her. Later on M told A about this and A adopted her into the group, despite K's complaints.

Each of them have her own little details like how M loves to learn more about flowers, K collects different color laces and stickers, or A trying to come up with her own language.

Some more pictures

But yeah, as they grew up, at some point they got separated, they went their own ways.

Even as an adult, M always missed the other two very much, she just wanted to see them again. She also noticed that whenever she thought about A she had a pain in her heart, but she wasn't sure what that was.

On her own life, A became a designer for a popular fashion magazine, while K is doing her own thing (quite literally has her own story, but she's some sort of wizard that helps to watch over the world).

One day because gay destiny, M and A finally cross paths again, they recognize each other instantly, despite how much they've changed. During the whole time they talked M kept feeling her heart beating loudly. They parted ways but not without exchanging their phone numbers.

They continued in contact after that, and at some point M noticed that she was badly in love with her childhood best friend, and as she started reflecting about it, she notices she had always felt this way about her and is like "I've loved her for all my life?!?" And gay panic lmao

A is REALLY DENSE and she's not gonna notice anything unless explicitly said, and even tho M is more confident, she still can't dare to do that and keeps trying to drop subtle hints. On the other hand, while A has less energy, she is still really affectionate and does some gay shit like placing her hand on M's cheek or playing with her hair, which absolutely kills M. Non functional lesbian lmao.

I don't really have a sexuality assigned to A, but the girl is obviously queer lmao. And I'm pretty sure she also likes M, but is unaware of it and just thinks it's because she loves her childhood best friend, will notice her type of love isn't the friendship kind when they meet up with K.

A: how weird... When I saw you I wanted to hug you

K: what?

A: yeah, when I saw M something in me wanted to kiss her, but when I saw you I just wanted to hug you

K: *looks at the non existent camera like "do you hear this shit"*

K: and why do you think that is

A: ... Maybe because you were always grumpy?

Poison: you're in love-

Poison is another character lmao but she's part of K's story. Anyways yeah

Also, M has a framed picture of them together. My ginger girl is down bad and she needs to kiss her girlfriend lmao

But yeah that's them, the girls that need to kiss and hold hands

If anyone read all this, thank you, this are some of my gay babies and I love them very much

#thats a lot of text wow #... thank you anon it helped #seari answers #seari talks #my ocs <3 #< wait i forgot about that tag lmao

3 notes · View notes

chthonicgodling · 3 months

Note

For those qs: Hypnos 2, 14 and 18!

thanks!!! this got craaazy long cause of course it did so. bbbeeehind the cut I go-

[send me a question from here with an OC from here!]

2- Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

the world Known Now as the Elysium’verse began with me messing around one million years ago specifically Maci, Seph, and Meli - then Fenixe and I met, Tory got involved, and SPIRAL. but Hypnos was actually floating around in that weird pre-Elysium era to then transition into a cameo character in the early days! (Actually Fenixe and I used to pass him back and forth before I retained custody fgkfkf). However… Hypnos was made AFTER Thanatos. oops! they were a set pair from the get-go but Hypnos came about cause like, well I couldn’t have one without the other—

so yes, his entiiiire design was born solely from selecting opposite details from his twin brother - the opposite color scheme, softe hair, angel wings. everything about Hypnos - tragically terribly - has revolved around thanatos forever….. even his character design rippp

14- If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

I love this question bc as we know the Elysium’verse is RP based and so this is like my constant notes to self while cycling through characters esp when a pile of ALL MINE end up talking to each other. Hypnos, despite his important history with Maci, IS in canon mostly appearing still as side cameo character or often used for brief plot Purposes (can zap anyone to sleep)/ for comic relief (can barely get through a sentence without falling asleep). yet in the back of MY head his two defining core features anytime I’m writing him is:

number one! that Hypnos has spent more time than literally anyone else with Thanatos breathing down his neck. for thousands and thousands of years. since BIRTH. they’re TWINS. even after Than was “stopped” in the Maci Days - he just receded to Hypnos’s side like up until Thanatos was arrested WHEN NEO WAS BORN A MERE SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO, Thanatos was harassing Hypnos! Luckily for him, Hypnos is married to the goddess of anti-anxiety and like. has coped healthily with her help and guidance all things considered but it’s his defining trait for sure. Hypnos is skittish and meek and prone to cowering - this was the way to Survive his brother and because of this it’s his defining and core personality trait. (how is he more functional than Maci is literaly tho lmao)

number two, though- is that Hypnos is NICE. He’s very deliberately purposely nice, again because he grew up with Thanatos, usually literaly at his side while Thanatos bullied his way through the underworld for years and years. And there went Hypnos slinking behind him apologizing quietly and trying to pick up any pieces he could (while being too afraid to confront him - but if he could make up for Than’s intense cruelty and general… asshole personally by counteracting with niceness then!! maybe that helps!!) hypnos’s single act of wrath was secretly cursing Chal with eternal insomnia out of sheer desperation (thanatos kept hurting icy what was he supposed to do!!) and even before he knew Chal was able to be redeemed he felt guilty about it every day. But Hypnos is an opposite balance to Thanatos AND to Maci, his best friend! he’s a foil! HES A FOIL!! Calm and nice with the respective most explosive and the meanest gods spending the most time at his side dfkfkfkf

18- What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

idk the last time Hypnos appeared or did anything in canon lol I think back when Chal got knocked up with N and was hysterical constantly Hypnos got called to put her to sleep a few times?? )you see this is his primary role lmao). BUUUT

Hypnos’ “newest” developments came during the dionysus adventures last year since deciding that Di was Pasi’s father meant, retroactively, that Hypnos and him surely had to have to interacted. WE ALLLL SAW THAT COMIC

So this led to the revelation that Hypnos is absolutely AND TO THIS DAY completely terrified of his father in law. Does Di realize this!! I think it’s actually infinitely funnier if he has no idea but realistically he probably knows - everyone SHOULD be afraid of him, of course, cheers ;) ok no but really Di reminds him of a more unhinged thanatos which. is. aahhhhh. AAAAAAHHHHH. AAAAAAAA—

the end sorry I wrote soo Much lmao!! if u made it t the end yayay ily

#asks #oc talk #AHHHHHH #abuse cw /

4 notes · View notes

lucysarah-c · 1 year

Text

I did the former HQ of the scouts, the service/staff part of it where Y/N and Levi stayed during the winter break... and it turned out SO CUTE

Disclaimer: I AM NOT sim builder or player by any chance, my friend is and they allowed me to use their game lmao. If this creations look horrendous, sorry. I'm a way worst building artist, I drew faces no beds. Thank you.

An anon asked me to update them in the sims so I did with my friend's account. The ID:stephvet7... neither of us update stuff on the gallery so we tried our best. Btw, I'M not aware if this is "useable" I wasn't going to play in this so I'm not sure if you can play in these lots...plus I don't know how to make roofs so they may not have... or have a really bad attempt of them. Sorry You can check up the other stuff I represented here.

Service kitchen and living area

In my head, the former HQ used to be someone else castle until it was passed down by the government to the scouts and then they moved because it's too far away and, as they say in the manga, it doesn't have water system so it was really impractical. In Hg, the scouts had moved to the new headquarters not that long ago so they are still trying to keep the former HQ in somehow good conditions and well kept. After the fall of Wall Maria, there wasn't enough budget to do that and they abandon it until they used it again with Eren. Therefore, the place isn't that much rotten when Levi and Y/N go to look after it. They, in particular, make use most of the "old service/staff/servants side" that the scouts used to use as the "higher-ups' kitchen". A more packet and less big kitchen and dinning room so the higher ups can cook etc. without interrupting the cadets working in the bigger kitchen and mess hall that's meant to be for a lot of people working at the same time. Therefore, since it's the old service place, it's slightly deeper in the ground almost as a basement? but not completely. This is because it would help to keep food better refrigerated.

Once the storm began, Y/N and Levi agree on move to that side of the castle because is smaller and easier to keep warm. That's why I added the mattress on the floor and all the clothe stuff lmao. And before you wonder, most of that stuff is Y/N's ... she overpacked lmao.

I wanted to add this idea of crowded because there's stuff from the scouts that they left before going, stuff that they stored for living there a couple of months, stuff Y/N brought etc.

The other door in the living area, gives to the open hall that's part of the more "former castle" that had a double sides stairs that give to the rooms on top, before all this, Levi and Y/N were sleeping in one of those rooms. Mostly like the ones we see in season 1. They use the bathroom up there. Once they moved down, they tried to go only for pure necessities., to avoid losing the calefaction. There's not bathroom down, the services sleeper somewhere else so there's no real living area in the castle.

I tried to add all "luggage" in cute pastel colors because most of them are from Y/N... and the ones who aren't (Levi's) were either packed inside a borrowed luggage of Y/N or she shared him something like the sheets lol So everything is quite girly

18 notes · View notes

impishtubist · 2 years

Note

Hey!! So I've recently been on a harry-sirius binge and have read a lot of fics abt Sirius being protective of his baby boy and giving his dates the shovel talk.

What I haven't seen is someone (preferably a boy) actually messing up and hurting Harry's feelings and Sirius finding out abt it.

I just really want to see how he would react and the consequences Harry's date would face, bcoz as dramatic as shovel talks are, nobody actually carries out those threats right?

So if you could please write something for me (or maybe bully one of ur friends into doing it coz I've noticed u have quite a reputation for that😅...no offense!!)

Thanks😊

p.s. I would prefer it to be only harry-sirius (no Remus or Wolfstar) but anything's fine.

I actually really love this! You’re right, we never see how Sirius would react if someone broke Harry’s heart, but you know he would not let that slide.

I don't think I would be physically capable of writing this as an actual fic without Remus involved. I understand not wanting Wolfstar, but I can't imagine a universe where Sirius didn't immediately call his best friend and fellow Marauder for backup after he learns that someone broke Harry's heart. 😂 Remus is extremely unhinged, after all, and he would be excellent at helping Sirius plot revenge.

But I will attempt to do a Remus-less bullet point fic for you:

The boy who breaks Harry’s heart is absolutely Draco, because he’s an asshole.

Sirius didn’t approve of Harry dating Draco at all, but he kept his mouth shut because he’s a good dad.

Harry breaks things off immediately after he catches Draco cheating, and he moves back home to Grimmauld after that, but he’s heartbroken and barely leaves his room. Even visits from his little godson Teddy don’t cheer him up.

(Yes this is DH-compliant because it’s the only way I can make sure Remus doesn’t accidentally appear lmao.)

(Also Sirius is raising Teddy because I said so. This has nothing to do with the plot, I just needed everyone to know that.)

Sirius spends a lot of time comforting Harry. Curling up in bed with him as Padfoot. Cooking all his favorite meals. Coaxing him out of his room so they can watch trash Muggle TV together. Giving Harry lots of hugs and giving him the space to grieve and cry.

Sirius also goes over to the flat and packs up all of Harry’s things for him, because he’s damn well not going to make Harry step foot in that place again (and also plants a few magical surveillance devices.)

There’s a big Ministry function that Harry and Draco were supposed to attend together at the end of the month that Harry still has to attend, and he’s dreading running into his ex and the affair partner there.

Sirius gets an idea.

He enlists George Weasley’s help, because Marauders always work best with a partner-in-crime.

They proceed to make Draco’s life hell for the entire night--spilling wine on his very expensive robes, transfiguring birds out of napkins that follow him around and peck him, changing his hairstyle and hair color, slipping potions into his drinks that make him lose his voice (or talk in an atrocious American accent) whenever he talks to somebody Important.

Sirius also leaks what he picked up on the magical surveillance devices to Rita Skeeter, and she writes up a damning piece about how Draco Malfoy cheated on the savior of the wizarding world. He gets shunned. Also the affair partner breaks things off with him.

Harry and George fall in love and eventually get married and live happily ever after the end.

(Sirius and Kingsley also get married later on. This also has nothing to do with the plot but I need everyone to know it. Kingsley was very impressed and honestly kind of turned on by all the mischief Sirius caused that night.)

I am tagging @padfootastic in this because she is the only person I know who loves Sirius & Harry as much as I do while also disliking Remus. Maybe she can write you the fic that you are looking for, because I think I went off the rails with this one 😂

#ship hate #draco hate #BLOCK THOSE TAGS IF YOU DON'T WANT THIS KIND OF CONTENT FROM ME #filtering out tags is so simple y'all #imp speaks #imp is writing #good godfather sirius black #BEST GODFATHER SIRIUS BLACK #dadfoot

31 notes · View notes

notallwonder · 1 year

Text

Watching the new episodes of Criminal Minds: Evolution again.

Under a Read More for those avoiding spoilers.

+ Point of clarification: did they retcon that JJ & Will never moved to New Orleans, or are we to believe they moved away then back at some point? -> answered in Ep 2 Will says "since we got back".

+ Garcia's "I used to be good at that" re: putting on English mannerisms made me smile bc callback to when Emily was at Interpol

+ Luke is a sweet sweet guy. I like him a lot, though to be honest I don't pay that much attention to him (because my attention is elsewhere *cough* Prentiss).

+ something really rubs me the wrong way about those "hers" antidepressant ads. They seem kind of creepy / dystopian?

+ I hope we get to know some of Penelope's new friends a bit.

+ it still really cracks me up that Garcia uses such tricked out GUIs on her computer. That shit takes up RAM and makes everything hard to see. Because computer nerd on (network) TV. But also, good for her.

+ the whole SOAR concept is too funny. No one born before the millennium has access besides PG? Does she code and maintain the whole thing all by herself (obvs not)? Are the engineers also only 22 and younger? (this would become a legal issue of ageism in hiring!) Also "unhackable"...so there's some kind of elaborate and potentially invasive verification system to prevent catfish accounts? Really. And once you age out of SOAR are you just thrown to the 30-50 feral hogs with the rest of us?

+ EMILY PRENTISS YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS SHOWSTOPPING I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

+ second time around I continue to appreciate AJ Cook's well muscled shoulders.

+ I'm very happy they got Zach Gilford for this role. Who knows if the writing will ultimately be good (lmao), but he has the range.

+ Director Noodle at it again, throwing a tantrum because Emily Prentiss did not bow to his will. Section Chief Foxiest Silver Fox does not simply roll over and obey (in her professional life at least).

+ lmao the not-an-Oscar-Wilde-quote quote attribution is so unnecessarily dumb

+ Emily & Tara are a great duo. Friends, crime-fighters, (etc!), they just stand up well to one another. The vibes are fabulous. It's the dynamic closest to what Emily had with Derek, that comfortable teasing and trust.

+ also noting that Tara asks Emily if she knows Rebecca Wilson, and apparently she does - enough to know she's at the DOJ. Perhaps they've worked on case(s) together before. Orrrrr maybe they met at some LGBTQ Feds networking event. 😏 Emily does give her a very warm smile when Rebecca shows her face at the BAU.

+ The way Zach Gilford asked unsub #2 "are you disobeying me?"............I don't know, it made my ears perk.

+ in the Garcia / Rossi scene, there is much to enjoy. The insight into Garcia's mindset. Rossi's resigned "I did. I kept falling asleep." I can't help but laugh at PG fully saying "Licensed Clinical Social Worker." I appreciate the specificity, but it's a whole mouthful!

+ fucked up that Garcia's login credentials still work. Any self respecting agency would make you change your password every 3-6 months at least, not to mention she's No Longer Employed There. But who needs real administrative mess when you can have loony toons (plot-based) administrative mess?!

+ Tara wearing a lot of plaid and window pane patterns. Aside from the obvious, it's just a nice costuming choice that remains kind of conservative but sets her apart from the others.

+ Most of the wardrobe is in blues and browns and grays. I wonder if this will change as time goes on (i.e. will Garcia bring the color back) or if that's going to remain through the whole season.

+ Okay, but did y'all also catch the weird look that Rebecca & Luke exchanged in this briefing room scene? It seemed like more than "close the door". Is there some kind of history there?

+ Oh this show is so silly!!!!! So silly, and it still makes me happy. Incredible.

#cm spoilers #criminal minds spoilers #cme spoilers #criminal minds evolution spoilers #cm16 spoilers #spoilers #so many spoiler tags #cm16 #criminal minds #criminal minds evolution

8 notes · View notes

dausy · 2 years

Text

you can call them flowers if you want. I wont mind. I realized after the initial set that I hate drawing any sort of flora so I did a half ass attempt lmao but I wanted fluorescent succulents. If you remember I posted a while back that the Paul Rubens brand sent me a watercolor set and I didn't know what they would be sending me. So a fluorescent neon watercolor set caught me a bit offguard and it took me a bit to come up with an idea that I knew I could use them with and this is what I came up with.

This has actually been sitting on my dining room table for a long time because I did that diamond painting first. I was really inspired to paint this but I think I might have sabotaged myself and potentially what this maybe was going to be. The issue is filming. I tried to film me painting this because I'm trying to get into that side of the internet and my work space is kind of still dependent on natural light. It has been storming every afternoon or I'm getting off work late and it feels too late to pop out the painting set and make a mess. So I was waiting to work on this til I had lots of sun and time but then I got obsessive over the diamond painting. So cutting myself off when I really want and am inspired to paint something is pretty painful and its a great way to never accidentally finish something or to lose your inspiration. After christmas I'm hoping I can get a better art space and more lights I guess or perhaps an seperate camera because I film everything on my phone. Idk but I was really inspired and kept forcing myself to put it off until I lost the drive. Fun.

But also, because these are neon-ish colors and me, having attempted to scan in neon type colors before I did know that my scanner was probably not going to pick the brightness of them so I did plan for that as well. I did mix in a lot of my standard pastel watercolors with them as a back up. My intuition was correct though and the fluorescence did not scan but the dullness still looks fine on the computer screen so I consider that a success. They are a bit brighter in real life though.

but anyway, thanks paul rubens for sending me stuff. I also did use my neon 80s schmincke set a bit as well. Every tube exploded from both sets and I got paint everywhere they were jammed so full of paint.

I ran out of time this week but I need to edit the video in which I painted this and upload it. Thats going to take me all day.

8 notes · View notes

mejomonster · 1 year

Text

Silent Reading, chapter 41. I didn't mention it but the Tao Ran house party chapters beforehand had soooo much luo/fei stuff including Luo Wenzhou recognizing "hey I think fei du is a grown man now and I think I do have a crush objectively just because it's Fei Du I feel awkward about it hmm I'll examine that later." So again Luo Wenzhous more mature in recognizing his feelings developing. Still didn't choose to act but its still a big development. Especially him shifting to see Fei Du as an equal, as a person who if a stranger isn't a murdering violent bitch Or a poor child who needs his protection, but an attractive charming sometimes rude individual who has his dark moments or withdrawn ones but is also quite handy and smart and pleasant at times. It's that internal decision to stop letting his old biases color how he sees Fei Du, and start seeing him as an equal. Which certainly in part drives his more reliable work afterwards of generally trying not to insult or purposely pick as many fights - you scold a child, but not an adult stranger you just accept them or stop talking to them. You can tell them they hurt you and they either fix it or don't, but unlike a child who you might tolerate messing up frequently an adult you eventually stop fighting them if it's forever. And since that realization Luo Wenzhous shifted to some teasing and ribbing back when Fei Du starts it (and still a bit of "I'm your dad I'm disappointed in your slutty rich boy ways" lol) but he's definitely toned down the picking fights and is now approaching things more positively/cooperatively with overtly warm intent (so more like he treats Tao Ran).

Second? Oh my fucking God I had a breakdown reading this scene Fei Du (as he's now doing) made a sexual innuendo that it's sad Luo Wenzhou sleeps alone, so Luo Wenzhou TOOK THE BAIT and said then why don't you blow ME. IM CRYING

Fei Du!!!! This is why the flirting you did was pandoras box! It was only gonna be a matter of time before your twos penchant to "give back as good as you get" combined with "use sexual innuendos to sexually frustrate him" resulted in Luo Wenzhou getting too into the rhythm and giving back ToT

WOW. And then they both sat there in awkward horrific nonresponse cause like. What the fuck else were they gonna do??? Only way from there is fei du to COMMIT to the path and say he'll keep Luo Wenzhou company that night and go "comfort" him and Fei Du did NOT expect his sex come on to be accepted with a suggestive matching response lmao

So they immediately go to "pay your respects to dad (me)" no doubt hoping if they lean into the ur my surrogate dad the sexual tension SURELY HAS TO DIE RIGHT. Great job guys. Excellent. Yall are doing Phenomenal

Also Fei Du you're literally conditioning yourself to a very specific kink I hope yr that self aware at least. You're gonna have Luo Wenzhou tied to the bed in a year saying "does daddy want another" in between bites and you're both gonna WISH such a statement turned yall off but unfortunately now it's ingrained cayse you fuckers kept calling each other that right in between flirts for MONTHS. GUYS!!! YOURE SO DUMB SOMETIMES

I love them. I think they're great. Fei Du is absolutely streamlining right into this relationship and Luo Wenzhou is literally doing Nothing except chilling. He got a crush? Sure. And he was keeping it TO HIMSELF. Then you had to keep making the sexual come ons fei du, like fucking hell man at Some Point Luo Wenzhou was gonna be like "Well he said he wanted it and I wanted it anyway and if he's happy wirh it Sure" especially in the heat of one of yalls "verbal competitions" so really like. Congrats on creating the awkwardness fei du I love you dearly.

Also lmao Luo Wenzhous power is to say shit so !!!!! They're both too awkward to speak djjdjf

Quote (I'm still fucking crying. Also on a serious note aww ;-; the cat backstory and Fei Dus fears ;-; ):

Fei Du accordingly stopped the car at some distance. “Do you…uh, need to get vaccinated?”

Hearing this ordinary inquiry, Luo Wenzhou was very shaken—more shaken than if Luo Yiguo had run over to him for a cuddle. He was even a little tongue-tied. “N-no…no need, the last one hasn’t expired yet.”

Out of the twelve months of the year, Captain Luo was in an “unconquerable condition” for eleven and a half of them. The doctor who gave him the vaccine had proposed to get him a “yearly card,” moving from retail to wholesale.

When Luo Wenzhou’s shock had passed, he couldn’t resist taking a cheap hit. “You being so filial all of a sudden makes me a little panicked.”

Fei Du reined in the unusual expression on his face and once again put on his obnoxious drawl. With a smile that wasn’t quite a smile, he said, “Caring for lonely elders is everyone’s responsibility. Tsk, keeping company with a cat in the endless night seems very desolate.”

Perhaps because Fei Du was so improperly dressed, and perhaps because Luo Wenzhou’s good opinion of himself had gone to his head, he felt that Fei Du’s glance, floating over as he talked nonsense, had a touch of seduction to it. Accompanying the hummed “in the endless night,” it truly did inspire reverie. Thereupon his mouth accidentally went a little over the line.

“What,” said Luo Wenzhou, casually taking a liberty, “you’re offering oral consolation?”

Fei Du: “…”

Luo Wenzhou: “…”

As soon as this joke that had gone too far was spoken, the two of them became silent at the same time. Inside the small and narrow sports car, the atmosphere was so unusual as to defy description.

Luo Wenzhou would have loved nothing better than to somehow put those words, which had somehow slipped out, back into his mouth. He was dumbstruck for a moment, then gave a dry cough and not very brilliantly backtracked. “At the end of the year, don’t forget to bring dad a box of snacks.”

Fei Du forced out a laugh. “Should I also burn three incense sticks?”

After this, the two of them simultaneously climbed out, in tacit agreement, planning to forget the preceding awkwardness inside the innocent sports car.

Luo Wenzhou suddenly remembered something. He turned to Fei Du. “On the subject, I remember you quite liked that cat. Why were you unwilling to keep it no matter what afterwards?”

Fei Du put his hand on the car door. His movements paused. The distant lights fell on his exposed forehead and brows; the arcs seemed to have been carved that way, the outlines finely planned.

“A pet?” After his pause, Fei Du said, as if nothing had happened, “I don’t like having pets. They’re so much trouble. I didn’t feel comfortable saying so in front of Tao Ran. Also…”

He looked up, the tip of one eyebrow moving lightly. “What if I have a hobby of sadistically killing small animals? I couldn’t control myself, and I was afraid I wouldn’t have a way to account for myself to Tao Ran, so I had to keep a safe distance. Captain Luo, do you think that’s a reasonable explanation?”

Luo Wenzhou stared, intuitively sensing that these words of Fei Du’s weren’t a disgusting joke, but before he could read the meaning between the lines, the voice of a member of a search and rescue team came over his earbud. “Captain Luo, we’ve found the place where the girl threw the alarm device, as well as some footprints.”

#silent reading #lb #they are Too funny i love when they make it awkward for themselves #thats true intimacy right there. the level of both admiting hey mahbe i killed someone #combined with the sheer embarassment they go through together and just. endure

2 notes · View notes

oscar-piastri · 2 years

Note

Hm I don't really see what they're getting at with the font/harmony thing... perhaps they just want you to stick with one colour/a few colours within the same colour group? Although all the colours do match in warmth or tone or what the correct term is so I'm not sure if that's what they mean? As for the font I personally don't see anything that could be improved? Still you can always say 'hey I was told by X that this was okay but now I'm told its not so I'm a bit confused where to take this assignment could you please give me some more guidance' there's really nothing wrong with that and if they penalise you for that they're seriously stupid! Either way I wish you a lot of luck I'm sure it'll work out just fine!!

They've asked me to pick a more modern font which is weird cuz it was already well modern lmao but i switched for a sans serif font called Nelphim, i think it's elegant and also modern?

I also reworked on the covers (still need to work on the 10 ans & brand name) but i've kept the geometric form they said they liked and put the colors of the different perfumes.

I'm gonna use the geometric form in the introduction page and also put the perfume pictures in this shape so it can bring harmony?

ive already had one bad grade before they refused me doing again so seeing this 8 really broke me and being all sleep deprived i turned into a mess bezobve

so big thank you for your support and your help! i really appreciate it and i'm happy i can count you as part of my journey

#cassy's answers #anons

2 notes · View notes

elliebear666 · 1 year

Text

So, today in therapy, aside from the gaggle of tangents that inevitably took us away from the main point, and ended up having me forgetting half the stuff I wanted to say, we talked about a lot. Lol

I forgot what I wanted to write about, give me a second.

Um...

Right, I sat for a minute and wracked my brain.

Anyway.

We talked about my gender dysphoria (among many other random things) and how it's funny that, as a teen, I began developing this sensation of "something missing" between my legs. Like, this is weird... something should be here. I can feel that something should be here. Why is there nothing? Why do I have this penis? It doesn't feel right. Something is wrong. I honestly feel like I want to get rid of it. Maybe I should cut it off 🤔

As I aged, and grew, so too did the dysphoria regarding my genitals. I had a very difficult time identifying the feelings and emotions involving my penis. It was a mass of differently colored string, each thread a different emotion. And I couldn't unravel this mess. So, in many ways, I began to stray away from the desire for sex. I found many girls I liked, but to be honest, I didn't want them to see my penis. It wasn't that it was small and I was "embarrassed" of my tiny dick. I mean, to be completely honest I measured the shit out of that mother fucker because I couldn't understand why I hated it so much. I mean, did I hate it because I perceived it as small? I wondered that, but that wasn't it when I really thought about it. For a while I felt like I was, when in reality I was absolutely average sized. But those feelings persisted and grew in intensity. I fucking hated my penis, and I wanted it gone. I didn't want girls to see it. I didn't want guys to see it. I didn't WANT to have it! I shouldn't have it, was my thought. So... I didn't lose my virginity until I was like... 24? In the back of my car lmao

I forgot to put a condom on in my anxious state, and had to pull out before I came and like... came on the floor so I told her that I forgot the condom (which was true) and put it on and, somehow, kept going until I came again lmao

But... the whole time... I just felt wrong. I couldn't fully comprehend it. It felt good, don't get me wrong. Sex feels good. But... it wasn't right. I mean, to be fair, I shoved every object known to man up my asshole, felt like something was missing between my legs, you'd think I'd have put two and two together. But... I didn't fully. Even though I knew, inside, that I was a girl, the disconnect between what I saw and what I felt permeated my every interaction.

So, in some ways, I started to think... well, maybe it's because I don't love her? So, after a couple years of a tumultuous and stormy relationship, I broke things off. I rebounded, in many ways, into my ex. Not at first. I thought she was pretty but I just needed a friend. But then I started getting feelings. And, we ended up kind of dating and I felt in love with her - the relationship was inevitably toxic and mutually abusive and full of fights and splitting and basically BPD insanity. We had sex a lot and often, and she was gorgeous and I loved her. Fuck I loved her so fucking much. I would have moved heaven and earth to see her smile. But I had so many problems, and she wasn't meant to be mine, no matter how much I was obsessed with her and adored her. But sex still felt wrong. I wondered if it was because I didn't love her either. I was attracted to her, I loved her. But sex started to become upsetting. And yet I never said anything. Fuck, I suppressed myself so completely that I never let it slip. I told her lies about who I was and the people I'd dated. I'm not even sure why. I lied to everyone all the time tbh. I lived a fiction because my real life was so fucking painful and wrong that I figured I might as well create a fiction to live in. If I can't be a woman, if I can't wake up the woman I should be, I'd just live a lie. And I hurt people too. I did. I hurt people with my lies and my pain and anger and acting out. Fuck I hated myself. But god damn it I can't even express how much agony I was in every fucking day. I wish everyone knew what I was dealing with. Fuck... I wish everyone knew.

After that relationship eventually crumbled into disaster and my unhinged behavior escalated - I was unmedicated, in emotional torment, and dealing with gender dysphoria. I was a horrible and vile person and I wanted to kill myself because I was so bad. Even after attempting it because the pain of the breakup was too much.

But... then something clicked. It was one night, while I sat alone in my little house in the backyard. In the middle of the night, I'd gone and bought briquettes that I was going to use to suffocate myself with CO2. I'd put towels under the door and a blanket around it to keep the air from circulating. I had a little bbq thing that I was going to put the briquettes in. And I had written letters to all my family, to my ex, apologizing profusely for all the pain I caused and how I hoped she would find happiness because I would always love her. One each to my two best friends.

And, as I sat in the dark in the middle of the night, I decided to think about... 1. Why I wanted to die and had wanted to die for so long. 2. What would make me not want to die.

I wracked my brain. Would I not want to die if my ex came back to me? No... I still would. She was a bandaid at best, and all the love and obsession I had with her was only keeping me from looking deep within myself.

No. I realized that night. "If I was female, living my life as a normal woman, I wouldn't want to die. If I was the girl I felt I should be, for as long as I can remember... if I was her? I could live even without my ex, despite how much I fucking just... FUCK. I was obsessively and madly in love with this woman and... god I don't think she knew how much I loved her. I don't even know if she cared. But... god... fuck. But, I was Matthew. How could I ever live life as the woman I was if I looked like this? Sounded like this? Like, I had vocal dysphoria for so fucking long. I tried to sing like a woman when I was alone in my room at my apartment when I was like 18-21 and I just couldn't do it. So I'd talk into voice changers, make my voice feminine, and long and dream about being the woman I wanted to be. All day every day. I would go to sleep praying, and wake up devastated every morning. I can't even explain yo you how much I suffered because of this. More than much of my trauma and growing BPD patterns, more than my bipolar disorder and undiagnosed ADHD.

So, I started to Google that. I started doing research. I took down all the shit I'd prepared for my suicide, put away the briquettes, and started to look into shit. Gender dysphoria. Becoming a woman. How to become a woman. How to look and sound female. How to be the girl I needed to be. And slowly but surely, as I languished alone in my little house all through the night, it finally started dawning on me that... fuck. I was fucking trans. I was a trans woman. I had gender dysphoria that was fucking killing me. And I found out, shortly after, that hormones were issued for exactly the process of changing our sex markers and either feminizing or masculinizing our bodies. It was slow at first, and I had a lot of shame and internalized transphobia... but over time I knew what I had to do. Tbh, I still measured my penis for a while. I just... although I knew I was trans I still couldn't recognize the actual emotions I felt about my penis. Like... I knew I was being obsessive, and i knew there was technically nothing wrong with my penis... and then, I can't quite remember when, it suddenly fully made sense in my head and I no longer cared about trying to understand the emotions. In many ways, it was disgust. It was pain. It was anger. It was frustration. It was dysphoria. I shouldn't have been born with a penis because, fuck, I was a woman, dude. I was a girl and I had felt so fucking trapped in this horrific nightmare for so fucking long... so fucking long. I just... fuck, since I was 6 or 7 I knew. Maybe even before. But it was so hard to accept what I felt, when what I was told and what I saw... was that I was boy.

But now? Hell, my cock and have shrunk a good bit. Like, I'm betting I've lost a good 1.5-2 inches on my penis, and my testicles are little tiny balls. The funny thing is, I'm fucking ecstatic that my genitals have shrunk. I haven't even thought about measuring the damn thing to see how much I've actually lost because I 100% understood my feelings. Sure, there was insecurity. But... not about the fucking size of the damn thing, it was that I fucking HAD ONE. It wouldn't have mattered if I was fucking hung as shit. I'd still have hated it and wanted it gone and been insecure about it's very existence. I should have been born with a fucking pussy, bro lmao. And my body and brain were telling me this and, because males aren't taught about emotions, self or identity, I suffered in agonizing silence for fucking two+ decades and I couldn't even put to words my emotions. I didn't understand what I was feeling. Like, yeah, Alexithymia. But... idk, I feel so fuckong liberated. I feel free. I feel actual happiness and I am coming to actually love both myself and my body, my face. My breasts. My femininity.

I never thought I would have this in my fucking life. I thought I was destined to suffer as Matthew for my entire fucking life... and yet, here I am. Alive. As Elleanor AKA Ellie. And fuck... I'm so fucking euphoric and happy with my voice and my social life and my relationships and my body and emotions and hormones. Like... FUCK.

For anyone that doesn't understand how fucking painful being trans can be, for how real of a phenomenon it is? Stop being a piece of shit lmao

Transitioning has saved my fucking life. I am alive today because I realized that I could be the woman I was, that I could be the person that lived in my head since I was a child. The girl I called Sarah for so long. I fucking love myself.

0 notes