#what the fuck lol im dying

[skrunksthatwunk]

thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.

#banana fish spoilers #I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT #mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol #yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY #whatever hope this makes sense. anyway #banana fish #okumura eiji #ash lynx #asheiji #hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh #anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god #and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character #that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1 #dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him..... #anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up #edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras #ing that i forgot >;/

[hecksupremechips]

It’s something only kinda implied but I love how Junpei is really smart and actually does know random bullshit information like everyone else does but he just like. Doesn’t use it unless he wants to end an argument

#zero escape #junpei tenmyouji #like in the safe ending hes just like. im so tired of everyone dying smh im just gonna go apeshit and solve every mystery ever #and my favorite moment is in ztd after the c team survives the dice roll in the rec room and he gets drunk #and akane and carlos keep fretting over how low the odds were of their survival and fucking #akane asks junpei like THE most bullshit question like ‘if 2^4 people ate ice cream what is the decimal’ #and junpei just is like like ‘UGHHHH GOD OKAY FUCKING FINE i guess the answer is .03729 WHATEVER’ #he just plays along but hes really annoyed about it akdbsk #like the issue isnt that he cant do the math the issue is that he doesnt care lol

[lbhslefttiddie]

then and now

#svsss #arts #backlog #shen yuan #shen jiu #luo binghe #you may be thinking: hey is that yqy over there? yes #why does he look like a salaryman?? because yqy is a sims 2 character trapped in the vessel of a student council president. next question #hey levanna what the fuck is going on here?? you know what. not even im 100% on that one chief #i had some vague notions about a murder mystery featuring a lbh who could see ghosts #and the ghost of a boy who has been stuck in his old friends' haunt (lol) for oh i dont know. thirty years #but see the thing is that sy doesnt know why he's here either! #he doesnt even remember dying but. well. he was always a sickly kid. he cant say hes surprised he suddenly kicked it #honestly it was such a mundane occurrence for him it must have been too boring to recall #but lbh spends time with yuan gege and pretty quickly comes to the realization that this is NOT the case #he finds like an old new article and in reality sy was found murdered in this place 30 years ago #and its much for likely that the trauma of the event is why he cant remember his death at all #oh and there was gonna be some drama where lbh suspects sy's now much older twin #who is now a teacher at their old school and a very different person from what sy remembers #but it wasnt sj he's just fucking traumatized by his brother being murdered in what theyd considered their safe place #he hates this school and he hates qi ge who never Really talks to him but is still fucking HERE (also teacher) #but he cant leave either bc he cant let go #and part fo him is still hoping to find answers for what happened back then #anyways i think this premise is all very good and sexy #but levanna's brain frankly was not built for writing murder mysteries #free to a good home if any of you fuckers want it #death #murder

[sunnykeysmash]

thinking about this discussion I had before FVR even came out, thinking about blends, thinking about "give me dong or give me death", about how it's both. thinking about both mac and dennis getting exactly what they want (mac's fantasy in saves the day, for mac to go away from dennis) but with a TWIST (for mac to realize there's nothing on the other side, for dennis to realize he needs mac). thinking about the pulse checking, thinking about the flatline.

thinking about my meta that I wrote before s15 even came out, about how we've been witnessing an impossible choice that's splitting dennis in two, thinking about "<3 or die" being the name of the salon in chop (and off with the head / just start over meta...), thinking about new beginnings, and meet cutes. thinking about rebirth, and baptisms.

#iasip #s16 spoilers #it's always sunny in philadelphia #always sunny #macdennis #analysis #meta #do you all see where I'm heading? #thinking about dennis crying because mac FUCKING DIED. only for mac to come back and see him like that and. offering him a tissue! #the jesus christ parallel would be insane. literally dying for their sins? and resurrecting? bro im just SAYING. this is all SPECULATION #but to me it fits so well lol. #plus mac stopping believing in god because he died and there was nothing? bro thats like. very ripe ground. but also #picture this. DENNIS now believing. because he just witnessed a fucking miracle. maybe he even prayed. who knows #it would balance them..... it would certainly do something... #''we're merging the ideas'' oh you mean love and death? that what we are merging? beautiful. called that in s14 #sorry angrymac for leaking our dms 😭 in my defense this is just stuff *i* said so ur good dw

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Can we talk about how cute the graveyard scene is!?!? Oh my goddddddddddd this is never leaving my fucking brain

Like I cannot get over how beautiful and sweet and unexpected the entire Astarion romance arc is!? For what was nearly an enemies to lovers situation (depending on how you played)?? What the actual fuck, I didn't see a ton of spoilers but I had seen some by accident I think, and yet it still absolutely surprised me in all the best ways. So so adorable, romancing him forever. jesus

#this is spawn Astarion fyi #i heard he's way different if ascended and tbh im scared to see it lol #controlling dudes arent my type so im hesitant to go back and see the difference but i will one day or in my next playthrough #Astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #GOD and the symbolism of fucking on his grave lol #also it is so very goth in all the best ways he's really making my little emo goth heart sing huh #plus i LOVED seeing him reclaiming his sexuality and doing that playful little push omg #he and my tav are so fucking cute together im dying #i was never expecting his story to be as good as it is even after i heard it was really good #alsjfjslajdjd i could talk about this forever #i am so happy he gets to be happy with her can't wait to see what's next #and now they're EQUALS! ahhhhh my kink lol

[stellarknightz]

I am am insane Dr. Rose enthusiasts and am disappointed in the LACK OF THEM!!!!!

#Thsc #the henry stickmin collection #dr. vinschpinsilstien #Dr. V #Ellie Rose #Dr. Rose #Ellie Rose x Dr. V #ship art #I’m going to confess to you on Valentine’s Day #Digital art #im going MAD IS THERE A SHIP NAME I DONT KNOW ABOUT #NEED MORE OF THEM I AM DYING #Yaoi vs Yuri #Yuri is LOOSING #💔💔💔💔 #tik tok audio #Dr. Rose my fucking beloved #there was gonna be more bounce but I gave up lol #What there’s no mistakeswhattttt lolll #your crazy ahhahaaa #crying and throwingup

[ryminsteddiesashanne]

What the actual FUCK?!

What the hell are these?

LOOK AT WHAT THEY DID TO MIKE!

His eyes?!

#stranger things #will byers #byler #mike wheeler #lucas stranger things #mike stranger things #will stranger things #will byers stranger things #mike wheeler stranger things #wtf #wtf lmao #wtf lol #what is this #what the actual heck #what the actual fuuuuuck #what the hell #im dying #the fuck #mike is gay #will is gay #mike is in love with will #will is in love with mike #gay #finn wolfhard #noah schnapp

[todayisafridaynight]

chewing these until i explode and die

#snap chats #sorry i cant describe things normally im sleepy but anyway #NO they made a tweet showing off all the funeral merch and theres some shit here i didnt see last time #the mine one's a part of. a postcard book ?? i think ?? #this the only one that ate from that ... to me anyway.... #i just really like how they chose a similar shot of him esp with how drastic the lighting differs and the camera angles #not even MENTIONING how the top scene is. from the orphanage bulldozing LMAOOOO #its art to me in ways i refuse to elaborate on ...... ok but the AOKI ONE THO LEMME GET INTO IT #what the fuck is an acrylic block i dont know but anyway .... theyre foul for the shots they chose <- screaming kicking my feet #it makes me want to make a proper gif set of aoki using those shots now .... and a mine set with Those Shots ... #im just sayin they def had a tumblr girlie on the team ... it just reminds me of gif sets on here ... im stealing their ideas idc #aoki's scene with his head held high at presumably the highest point of his life #to contrast how dreary masato's shot is. Shot Lol Get It on the worst night of his life with his dead drooped kmsing right now #AND WHEN THEY BOTH POINT THEIR GUNS AT THE CAMERA... SCREAMS ... #like the other merch didnt Give like these did ok ... is it my bias No Im Totally Objective.. i want these as gif sets .... #i was gonna put nishitani's here too since they ALMOST did something cool too #they had the top of his being when hes sittin in the grand with his arms spread out #and i THOUGHT the bottom one would be when he's Getting Lit Up and his arms were spread but no .. #its that scene but ... they didnt show off that part ... just him looking back at majima ... #love how they chose the most bbg still of aoki dying for the egg merch meanwhile mine's is just. Rage #they cant go with the same wet cat shot of him tho i get it ... they used it twice for merch fjerLKVAKVJE #anyways im typing way too much about these i gotta go BYE

[jorvikzelda]

baby's first reshade preset :]

#played around some with fog and adjusted the green hues a little to make the grass less hit you like a truck green #theres 3 different types of fog activated here lmao #ok i. need to make breakfast im dying of hunger #ive been awake for over an hour #yes fiddling with reshade basically the entire time loollll #there are so many shaders its so fucking overwhelming lol #downloaded a few presets just to check out like. what things they have activated #z talks #ssoblr #z's photos #reshade

[rosykims]

like out of all the many, many traumas ive given elspeth my favorite has gotta be the deep roads lol. and specifically the way she never really got OUT of them. yeah so maybe her body did but not HER. shes still down there with ruck and helspith every time she closes her eyes. and during future expeditions when she goes down into the deep roads for real, it doesnt feel like some horrible nightmare it feels like REALITY and its the surface and love and warmth and alistair thats nothing more than a pleasant dream. one shes always going to wake up from. bc even in her happiest moments she's never not aware of the darkspawn digging up towards her just a few miles under her feet. and never not feeling the eyes of the deep roads looking at her, gleefully waiting for her, and knowing its not going anywhere

#i love shale but for elspeth's worldstate i dont recruit her bc im so obsessed w the dynamic of it being elspeth/alistair/oghren/the dog lol #oc: elspeth #tay plays dao #she got SEVERE shell shock being down there in the dead trenches after the realization that came from helspith's poem #why shes never seen any female darkspawn and why there apparently arent as many female wardens either #and like. Understanding that death is the absolute best case scenario for her. #alistair had to 100000% step up as the leader because she was completely out of commission. barely able to breathe let alone fight or lead #going from this unstoppable warrior who NEVER loses her nerve or control on a battlefield #to nearly dying to the broodmother bc she was so fucking terrified. bc all she could see was her own fate mirrored back at her #finally FINALLY understanding what it means to be a grey warden. and then trying to reject that reality with her entire body and soul #she pulls herself out of it enough to get out alive but she never had a moment of like... triumph over the deep roads where she had a burst #of courage and saved the day or whatever. thats not usually how trauma works and so alistair carried them thru that #thru the broodmother and the anvil and branka and back to orzammar just as elspeth was beginning to put herself back together #afterwards the lack of closure to what was one of her ''weakest'' lowest moments rly weighed her down with guilt and shame #and its only a year later during awakening when she finally reconciles with having NO choice but to go back into the deep roads #and being able to kill the mother. THAT helped. that restored some small part of her #gave her the strength to start going back down there when the need arose. resigned to an early death but ready to put up a fight #but ye. still such a fundamentally devastating thing she went thru which altered her entire personality to the point where she starts fully #embracing being a warden (bc how can someone who's seen what shes seen and done what shes done be anything else???) #and INSISTING alistair take the throne despite having always been supportive of his desire not to. even if it means she loses him. #bc its a last ditch effort to save him from the fate she's completely surrendered herself to #sigh. this game man. #i need dadw to Confirm that the grey wardens have found a cure and alistair and hof are safe because jesus christ. my girl NEEDS a win

[bluejaybytes]

[GRIPS MY SWITCH SO HARD IT SNAPS IN HALF] i love splat fests :)

#splatoon #SCREAMS LIKE A DYING ANIIMAL #i havent won a 100x since I BELIEVE Nessie V Aliens V Bigfoot #and we BARELY FUCKING WON. like that win ratio is LYING to you we were losing the MAJORITY of the match #if it werent for a last second wipeout we would've lost. BUT WE DIDNT! WE FUCKING WON!!!!!!!!!!! #and im gonna reblog this w my float phots :3 #I literally won my first 10x in Pro the match before and was like. well. its the final hour of the fest. WHAT IF i get a 100x next lol #AND THEN I DID. AND THEN I WON. and then unfortunately the stress of getting a 100x gave me a headache

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#shout out to my nana for saying my dad spends money like water #my dad who struggles with the idea of spending money bc of obsessive compilation thoughts but is making an effort #bc whats the point of saving up all your life just to die. nana? my dad whose wife is literally dying of cancer and is beginning to circle #the drain so hes deciding he wants to start spending his retirement money now while shes still alive. u old witch. Jesus christ. my mum #isnt gonna live forever. shes getting her bladder removed in February i think. imo ill just b happy if she lives past the end of my 5year #program. like holy fuck. i mean. its not really nanas fault. she probably has 0cd and probably has 0cpd. but like this is y u wanna try to #get better. so you dont grow into a miserable old fuck whose family hates u bc ur awful and killing ur husband thru ur illness. just saying #as someone whose can see their own behaviors mirrored in her. this is y i cant go on like this lol #hopefully i hit my rock bottom last year. ugh. i just wish i could sleep. when im not super depressed i cant seem to get a normal amount of #sleep and im exhausted all afternoon. im awake at night and early in the morning. it makes me nauseous too. insomnia i guess #but ive always slept rather little. maybe it was compulsive and now im just old and cant take it #hate it. wish it would stop but at least i dont feel like dying anymore i guess. im guessing the meds r exacerbating thr sleep issues if not #causing it. ugh symptom management i guess #unrelated

[theygender]

Apparently the scene you get with Shadowheart if you get her approval all the way up and then tell her you want to get to spend time with her is the same one you're supposed to get at the tiefling party, which means if you trigger it early you may not get any scene with her at the party at all. This made things pretty confusing when I showed up expecting to advance my romance with her and instead she just gave me some generic "lol wine is good huh" dialogue meanwhile every other companion* BUT her was actively trying to jump my bones... Literally just had to beat everyone else off of my Tav with a stick and then go to bed alone 😔

*Except Lae'zel, who instead went on an unprompted rant about how she knew I wanted to fuck her sooo bad but I had Pissed Her Off by making her be Nice to People so now she would NEVER allow me the pleasure of having crazy hot githyanki sex with her. (She propositioned me a few days later anyways)

#i seem to have accidentally started a romance with lae'zel astarion AND gale in addition to shadowheart 😭 #like the next day i had a notice to talk with astarion and it was the scene where hes talking about not being able to see his reflection #and it was literally like dodging fucking bullets trying to pick an option that wasnt flirting #i ended up having to pick some mean dialogue that was like 'maybe its for the best youre not exactly aging gracefully' #bc the ONLY other two options were like 'tell him you think hes beautiful' and 'gaze lovingly into his eyes' or some shit #and i was like '...okay im picking the mean one but i mean it as a joke. maybe it can be a joke' and i picked it an he was all horrified #but then the next dialogue gave me an option to say 'lol im just kidding' and i was like PHEW #but then he just went back to being fucking flirty again and was like 'really~ well then tell me what you like about me the most' or smth #and i was like FUCK. NO #but then the next dialogue tree in addition to having the normal flirty options had three additional options #that were like 'youre fine. but lae'zel/gale/shadowheart? now theres real beauty' #and i was like. fuckin. OKAY #ill wonder wtf those other two are doing there later but for now ill pick the one where i tell him in interested in shadowheart #so i picked that option and this bitch fucking APPROVED. told me he was going to have to work harder to keep up with his competition #like SIR. what do you MEAN competition. i let you bite me ONE time bc you said you were dying of thirst and i wanted to help a bro out #and then the next morning i immediately told you i didnt like it and i never wanted it to happen again #what do you mean competition dude you arent even on my radar 😭 im a DYKE #and why were lae'zel and gale there as options too?? #the next night i got gales weave scene where he shows my character how to use magic #(my tav was pretty unimpressed as a fellow mage tbh but hes my friend and i was being polite) #and when i clicked the option to clearly say at the end that i was not interested in having an intimate moment with gale #he got all misty eyed and was like 'oh how quickly these moments fade away...' #like bro the moment didnt fade away i politely shut it down on purpose bc im not interested. what are you talking about #and THEN i got lae'zel trying to fuck me and when i turned her down she gave me the exact same dialogue #about how i would miss out on having hot githyanki sex with her. AGAIN #yall im JUST trying to romance shadowheart 😭 leave me alone #if anyone else is gonna try to trap me into flirting with them then at least let it be karlach next time please 😭🙏 #(ill come back for lae'zel on another playthrough bc being between her and shadowheart sounds like a safety hazard tbh) #rambling

[rocksalt-and-pie]

@ the three other girlies in the fandom who don't hate Ketch and appreciate him for being THAT bitch (hot bastard sexy evil milfman representation and one of the funniest bitches on the show) who are just like me starving for content, weep no more. I have just the fic for the four of us.

This is a Dean/Ketch fic taking place during episode 13.18 Bring 'em Back Alive, in which Dean and Ketch travel to apocalypse world and the entire episode is basically already a hurt/comfort enemies to foxhole buddies fantasy as it is. But there is a gap between scenes that needed to be filled!

#arthur ketch #ketch #dean winchester #dean x ketch #dean/ketch #fanfic #fan fiction #supernatural #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfic #spn #mp #ff #please click on the fic and scroll down to the kudos button lol i need it #i know this is a rare pair and i also know how much the fandom hates ketch #personally i dont get it and i think he's so fucking hot and hilarious on top of it and he's one of my favorite characters <3 #also hi yeah im actually posting my writing on the interned net now. yeah on a webbed site for everyone to see. only took me like ten years #so even if he's not your thing but if you ever wondered what my writing's like (which im SURE y'all are just DYING to know) - here you go #im new to publishing things and it's been a 20 year long struggle to get there so please be gentle with my little self <3 ok bye

[sweet-like-hypoglycemia]

What a FUCKING shit day.

Went to get a quick haircut this morning, had to rush home so I could get to my recruiter's office to head to SD MEPS for my final physical/interview. Halfway home my car just stops working. Power steering shuts off. Took me a good 20 minutes to get it working again. Finally get home with only minutes to spare before I need to Uber to the recruiter aaaaaand I LOCK MY FUCKING PHONE AND KEYS in the car. Had to run to my neighbor and use her phone to get a locksmith ($250 dude...omg) and then call my recruiter, who THANKFULLY came and picked me up after I got my stuff out of the car.

Now I'm laying in a hotel bed, with a headache, waiting for the terrible Marriott dinner 🫠 Gatta be up at 3 a.m. to bus to MEPS!

Someone rub my head and gimmie a hug..

#rant #ranting #mine #mad #ugh #what a day #i feel busted #glad i made it here #i was about to fucking CRY #i tried to pick the lock of my car for a few minutes #did not work obviously #meps #sd #san diego #i want sushi #but im $250 in the hole so probably can't afford food lol #my head is killing me #i wish i was laying on the lap of a big warm man rn #i haven't had a hug or been fucked in over a MONTH bro #im DYING #DYINGGGGG

[cyeayt]

Back on my bullshit answer my questions

while doing some rudimentary research for this poll it has come to my attention that pins and needles are a feeling felt while the limb is asleep, not the period of intense sensation/tingling/sensitivity experienced while it comes back online. or maybe it's both? the stuff i read referred to it as tingling that happens while the limb is pinned/under pressure/numb. i cannot find anything that references what i have come to think of as "the agony" but ive referred to it as the pins and needles in the options for this poll anyway.

Mild: limb has muted sensation but can be moved and used carefully, pins and needles begin almost immediately after limb is moved from whatever position caused it to fall asleep. Pins and needles not painful and do not appear painful, and last a few seconds, person affected is capable of speech and moving other parts of their body during pins and needles, which last a few seconds.

Middle intensity: limb is numb or partially numb and can twitch but not be moved precisely. Pins and needles begin a few seconds after limb is unpinned or when it is moved. Pins and needles not painful but intense and appear uncomfortable, taking a lot of the affected person's attention/capacity. they last between 5 and 7 seconds.

Intense: limb is numb and cannot move/be used, pins and needles begin 5-7 seconds after the limb is unpinned. pins and needles are intense and may be painful or not painful but 'unbearable', causing the affected person to cry out, grimace, or otherwise appear to be in pain. Person cannot speak or move their other limbs during pins and needles, which last 10 or more seconds (without shaking) and have residual tingling for a few seconds after limb regains movement/becomes bearable to move

obviously this all depends on how long the limb was pinned but just answer whichever is the most common for you, and if you want you can put in the tags what positions make your limbs go numb/how you deal.

#polls #poll #tell me your secrets #idk i was just shaking out my hand but im sick/tired rn so i was actively crying out and was thinking #that limbs falling asleep/pins and needles are a very common and intensely unpleasant experience #and its kinda fuckin weird that we as a society dont talk about it more #and that it can be brushed off or be a single line in books n stuff #and like theres a lot of things that get done dirty in books for how intense/scary/dangerous they are irl #like the first time i got the wind knocked out of me and thought i was dying cause its only ever described as #getting the wind knocked out of you #rather than you can't feel the air coming in and out of your lungs #and the only way you can tell youre not dying is that you aren't experiencing air hunger #which can happen when you are dying in certain situations so fuck if i know #and like headrush like i see new colors/lose track of reality/twitch or faint when its real bad and in books its always like #a bout of dizzyness or some shit #and before i get called out yea i know what an iron deficiency is #also rip to all book characters who've been knocked out for several hours after a head injury or passed out from blood loss lol #anyway #then theres shit like my psycosomatic faux asthma symptoms or swallowing issure or the foot thing that are unique to me as far as i can tel #and boy howdy does that suck shit #but to conclude #bodies are weird why dont you tell me how yours works.