you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
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White French people hate it when they get a taste of their own medicine.
I was discussing with one of my colleagues and she told me how she was planning to go to Senegal for the holidays because she thought it was a good way for her kids to see more diversity and people who don’t look like them (ie Black People).
So I told her it was a good idea because I was 4 the 1st time I saw a White person (and I cried btw...) And she was so shocked, like she couldn’t understand that some Black kids have never seen White people in their lives but somehow doesn’t think twice about the fact that her kids are in a similar situation.
Another time, I was talking to someone else about how I arrived in France when I was young but had lived in many African countries growing up (RDC, Kenya , Gabon, Center African Republic...).
And then that person proceeded to go on a tirade about how I must have felt so lucky to arrive in France, and how I should have been relieved to arrive in a developed country like France, blablaba. I just told him “not really”, because growing up I was told that France was amazing and so wealthy, but the first time I saw homeless people was when I arrived in Europe, so I didn’t really understand why people always talked about Europe like that. And again, the guy was shocked, just because I didn’t say my life in Africa was miserable and sad, and because I said that Europe was from what I had heard as a child.
If you’re going to bring your assumptions without knowing, I’ll retort with mine ( the view of an 8-9 year old). I don’t understand how someone can feel so entitled and assume something about your situation without asking first. I’m sorry the only thing you know about Africa is that one documentary you watched in middle school but leave me alone.
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i don't know if you guys have been keeping up with the women's world cup but this past sunday spain won against england. and you would think this would be the best moment of their careers and their lives but you wanna know what happened?
the spanish football federation's president non-consensually kissed one of the players, jenni hermoso, on the mouth when they were celebrating. this grown ass man took it upon himself to ruin the celebration for ALL the women who just achieved the thing they have been preparing for all their lives, literally the peak of a football player's career, they did it and he by himself ruined it.
and i say all the women because the other players, along 58 currently inactive and ex-players, stood up for jenni hermoso and have refused to play for the team until luis rubiales publicly apologizes and renounces his spot. now the rfef says they'll take legal action against the players and jenni for lying and because they have an obligation to play for the team.
do you remember how the men's world cup celebrations went? i do, im from argentina. no one said anything to any of the players, they were treated like kings for months and they are worshipped to this day. and rightfully so! they earned it i guess. but we do see the discrepancy?
how is it that we allow as a society for one man to sexually assault a woman right after achieving the thing another group of men got ceaselessly venerated for not even a year later? what do women have to do to earn respect? win the world cup? become the pride and joy of their country?
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hi everyone this is a very different post from usual but i apologize for this — ive never done this before but i really, really need your help.
my cat, kimo, has been unable to go po.tty and refusing to eat for two days. he cant walk properly because of this. i asked my nearest vet and his treatment needs at least $300. i dont have that much... he's very dear to me and has been with me for two years.
he's really weak and we have been trying our best to give him medicine that we could find. I'm really scared to lose him because he's just... he's so so dear to me. he's my everything.
my p.a.y.p.al is mayohiyo (please only choose business to prevent li.mit (´;︵;`)...)
and my ko☕fi is mayofriends
kimo is an indoor cat that ive been taken care of with love and affection and seeing him in pain shatters my heart... it just happened so suddenly and i currently am doing everything i can to bring him back to health. i appreciate any help i can get so so much with my life.
this is him when he was still young!! i love him more than anything he's my best friend and my support. without him I'd feel so lost....
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TLT fans: did you guys know about the real Wake? I hadn't heard about her until we covered World War II in my world civ class this semester
Nancy Grace Augusta Wake (1912-2011) was a covert operative who was at the top of the Nazi's most wanted list in WW2, nicknamed "The White Mouse" for her ability to repeatedly evade capture. She was born in New Zealand with Māori heritage, grew up in Australia, and joined the Resistance after traveling to Europe and witnessing the harsh treatment of Jews in Vienna by the Nazis
Wake worked in the Pat O'Leary Line escape network until her Resistance organization was compromised by the Germans in 1942. After that she fled on foot across the Pyrenees—with several close calls that she escaped by flirting with German soldiers—and made her way to England to join the Special Operations Executive. She was part of a three person team codenamed "Freelance" which parachuted into occupied France. During this operation she got stuck in a tree after her parachute became tangled in its branches. The local Resistance leader who found her reportedly said “I hope that all the trees in France bear such beautiful fruit this year" to which she replied "Cut out that French bullshit and get me out of this tree"
While working in the Freelance operation Wake once biked 500 km (310 mi) without stopping in the span of 72 hours across Nazi territory to retrieve a new radio and codes after her team's were destroyed in a Gestapo raid. Without this feat, Freelance would not have been able to communicate with London and there would have been no more supply drops to support their Resistance organization. During the war she was also part of a raid which destroyed the Gestapo headquarters in Montluçon, in which she reportedly killed a Nazi sentry with her bare hands to prevent him from raising an alarm
Wake's fellow operatives described her as "a real Australian bombshell. Tremendous vitality, flashing eyes. Everything she did, she did well. She was an excellent shot, excelled at fieldcraft and put the men to shame by her cheerful spirit and strength of character." "She is the most feminine woman I know until the fighting starts. Then she is like five men." "We both came to the conclusion that she was 10 times the man I would ever be"
By the time of her death in 2011, Wake had been awarded the George Medal by Britain; the Medal of Freedom by the United States; the Médaille de la Résistance, the Croix de Guerre (x3), and the Légion d’Honneur by France; and the Badge in Gold by New Zealand. Due to a complicated relationship with Australia, she originally refused to accept any awards from the Australian government, saying that they could "stick their medals where the monkey stuck his nuts." In 2004, however, she accepted the honor of Companion of the Order of Australia as well
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