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#when I’m not actively WRESTLING with something I feel like I do my best work

throwingmetothelions · 9 months

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NSFW ALPHABET - Noah Sebastian

I’m once again reminding you because some of y’all don’t seem to understand and it’s making my fucking eye twitch … THESE ARE THEORIES. I know that some of you are younger, and you are new to how fandoms operate, but the whole point of this is to make a compilation of theories about someone based on content that is free floating in the fandom. The information that I’ve been given by people in private is never something that you will ever see me actually write about, so don’t think it is. NONE OF THIS WAS FOUND BY DIGGING OR PRYING (THE TWO ACTIVITIES SOME OF YALL CANNOT STAY AWAY FROM). This shit is theories and personal beliefs based off things we have as a fandom. Do not fuck it up for everyone by accusing anyone of prying. Do not ask me questions about unrelated shit. Do not ask me to answer your thoughts and concerns. ANYWAYS HERE YA GO BESTIES.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Noah is the one with the forethought to go ahead and grab a dirty t-shirt and keep it by the side of the bed. There’s probably already water he was drinking, and that’s gonna have to be good enough lol mans will check up on you, but if you’re looking for full blown mushy romance book level aftercare? Yeah, it doesn’t live here.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Noah is clearly working hard on his physical appearance. From what I can see there was a lot of bulking going on, but we see big ass muscles in those arms. He’s very proud of that. Noah isn’t the type to get transfixed and brain-dumb over something, but I feel like he likes legs. Likes the way they wrap around him, and the way they bend when he pushes someone’s knees back when he’s fucking them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Oh boy. Has absolutely tried his own a few times out of pure curiosity. Tries his best to just jerk off in a shower so he doesn’t have to clean anything up, but he’ll wipe it away with something out of the dirty laundry bin. The man literally liked a meme regarding this so I KNOW I’m RIGHT when I say he wants to cum in you and he wants it so deep it doesn’t come back out. He doesn’t even want to see it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has an obsession with panties and I mean this in the “if yours go disappearing please go bang on his door” way. There’s something about the way they feel, all the colors and patterns (this stupid nerd would buy you Naruto panties and I hate that). Like he would jerk off with them wrapped around his dick and send you pictures about it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s pretty experienced, but I don’t think it’s in the way you all think. You can have so much casual sex and not really be learning a ton, ya know? Like if all you’re getting are random quick hookups for the most part … how experienced are you actually? That being said - he’s ABSOLUTELY the type to have read up on and researched techniques just to keep in his back pocket.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Ha. Ha. Hahaha. I’m laughing because he has a Mars in Sagittarius, so this is going a few ways. He likes to be spontaneous when he has time, so anytime you say “hey do you wanna try …” THAT is his new favorite position. Immediately. The frankness and the roughhousing that comes with that says he would play wrestle until you were no longer playing, and your hands were held above your head while his big ass body all but put you through the actual mattress. So.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Goofy?!? He’s too goddamn nervous to be goofy what do you MEAN. His heart is about to thump out of his chest because, if like most women you wait for him to make the first move, he’s so fucking shy about it. He would definitely appreciate it if you laughed off things like him getting ahead of himself or making a funny noise when you switch positions though because it works as an icebreaker.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He trims it all up. I know he does not have a ton of hair everywhere, but obviously when someone has a lot of tattoos, you can no longer truly see the amount of hair they have on their body. His legs are actually a lot hairier than you think, and he has a happy trail, so I think he just trims it all up.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Oh, it’s Noah’s time to shine. If you give him a reason to be he could be SO romantic. This bastard is an artist. He is a writer. He can set a vibe unlike any other man you’ve ever met (and I swear to god the LED lights are involved unfortunately). If it’s slowing down that you need … Noah’s got you. Neck kisses, eye contact … just please don’t expect it every time. You would absolutely have to tell him ahead of time.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I actually firmly believe that he used to not jack off a lot, but now that he’s working out and his stamina has increased he probably does it a little more now. Likes the way his rings and bracelet feel when they touch his dick. Doesn’t make too much noise, but he’s a big lip biter. As we said, likes to do it in showers, so after they play which is also when he’s sweaty and full of adrenaline.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

What we’re not gonna do right now is get into the Mommy Issues ™️, and I think if you asked him to call you that he would tell you to get the fuck out (I’m serious) BUT … he could absolutely fall asleep with your nipple in his mouth. Like as a comfort thing. He would ABSOLUTELY ask to watch a show with you and slowly and wordlessly unzip your hoodie and take one of your boobs out and just kinda hang out there in the quiet dark while he sucks away and THAT is actually a kink. I do not take criticism thanks.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He loves him a good risk, but not if people he knows could be involved. Like he’ll wanna fuck at your house because he really doesn’t want Jolly to hear you, but if it was a bunch of strangers at a bar he wouldn’t think twice about fucking you in the bathroom. He also really loves the bed honestly. Mans is a big ol lazy bear after he comes and he definitely wants to pass the fuck out after yall go at it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you in his bands merch gets his dick absolutely rock solid. We aren’t gonna talk about the narcissist streak he has (I also do not take criticism on this because believe me it’s there), but seeing you in a shirt that barely covers your ass AND has his bands name on it is too much. Also, running your hands over his chest? I feel this one in my bones dude I just know that this makes him feel some sort of way.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Noah wouldn’t actually ever involve one of the direct members of the band into a threesome. I’M SORRY. TRUST ME THATS NOT GONNA STOP ME FROM READING THE FICS AND HAVING MY SILLY LITTLE THEORIES BUT he just wouldn’t. Too close. He would, however, tag in Davis, Kodi or Jesse and I know you bitches wouldn’t complain about that. Again, please god don’t pull the mommy card on him. With this one, I see it being something like he’s either immediately going to tell you that he can’t do this at all now, or he’s going to do it, but then he’s going to feel some type of way after, and it’s actually really going to affect him. He’s going to get inside his head and have a meltdown.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s a giver. I’m the one that gave you that post. I’m the one that one of his exs contacted. I don’t know a lot about all the things in the world, but I know a little something in this department. Noah eats pussy like a starved man and there’s nothing more dangerous than a man that is hot and enthusiastic. You stand 0 chance. He’s highly skilled. He loves getting blowjobs, but if you’re looking at scales they’re absolutely tipping one way.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

So, for all of you out there that may not know, when a man doesn’t have great stamina or he doesn’t last very long cardio and working out can really help that. Noah has done a 180 in terms of exercise, so I think he’s the type to deliver a fast and hard pace but not really think about it. Like he’s so into it and he’s taking in the sounds you make not realizing that he’s picked up the pace.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Doesn’t love them because CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF MEN DONT ALWAYS GET TURNED ON LIKE LIGHTSWITCHES. Noah would need to be teased all day while he’s trying to do other shit if you want to just spontaneously pull him into a broom closet and expect him to perform.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Again … birthchart says he takes risks but I believe they’re calculated. Like the risk of fingering you when you’re on the phone with someone is one he’s willing to take, but he planned it. He also loves to take risks in the bedroom. What happens if he rubs here? What happens if he bites there? Hmmm.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Noah strikes me as a singular really long round kind of guy. Sure, he’ll get you off once before he even takes his clothes off, but I do think he gets sleepy easily by nature because he has personality traits that align with Snorlax and Winnie the Pooh. Noah will absolutely make it feel like it’s stretched on, and he won’t stop until he’s not sure what language you’re muttering, but he’s not taking a break and jumping back into it. His idea of a break is eating you out while he calms down.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I think he may have experimented once or twice (we’re not gonna pretend like he hasn’t been pictured with three different dildos before) but he doesn’t really see a need. Now, for you, he’s absolutely gonna do whatever it takes to get you off. You wanna use a toy while you’re fucking him? Go for it. He really wants to watch you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Here’s the thing. Noah doesn’t MEAN to. He’s not upset that he did, but seriously he didn’t mean for you to see the strip of skin on his belly when he stretched. He didn’t know that him moving your hair to the side to kiss behind your ear would have you gnawing at your lip. He doesn’t do it on purpose, but when you crawl over him and kiss him until he can’t breathe and then call him an asshole for doing that all day it makes him want to fuck you until the sun comes up.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

It’s all under his breath.

“Jesus Christ”.

“Holy …”.

“Yes - fuck, yes”.

He’s the type to grunt while he’s biting his knuckle when he comes. See, and I know that not all of you have thought about this but it’s the fucking truth, most men are conditioned to be very quiet when they cum and it’s because they were once horny teenagers and they couldn’t keep their hands out of their pants. They had to sneak. Noah has been sharing rooms with people his entire life … this man hasn’t learned to let go and let it all fly. He holds back.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Random headcanon? Weed makes Noah incredibly fucking horny, and he can come twice when he smokes because his dick won’t relax if he only cums once. I don’t know why y’all all say he used to smoke … yeah he used to smoke cigarettes and quit, but he still smokes weed - just a whole lot less. That’s why it’s exciting when he takes a few hits. I had an ex that was like this and it’s actually pretty hot so I’m assigning it to Noah because it makes the most sense with him.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

There are actual bitchbabies on tumblr.com that are mad because they say that nobody should say anything about the fact that we can clearly see his dick through some of his stage outfits. Listen to me - yeah it’s weird to jump in a strangers inbox and talk about your unhealthy obsession and what you want to do. But. He is a man, and he has a penis, and this is an NSFW alphabet based on theories, and it is not my fault that it is fucking visible through his goddamn pants. THAT BEING SAID BASED OFF OF WHAT WE CAN SEE ON BEYONCES INTERNET - he’s a shower and it ain’t small.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He gets in his head so often. The number one sex drive killer is stress, and I think he definitely, if he has a partner, can go for a long time without having sex if he’s got too much band business. You would definitely need some open communication. Although lucky for you - he celebrates band wins and personal growth with sex. I guarantee that one positive phone call from Matt would mean you get bent over the kitchen counter.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I think he’s falling asleep pretty quickly but it’s also because of the setting. Like I said, our boy loves a good fuck in a bed. That, combined with the soft LEDs, the lofi beats and no overhead lights means he’s already accidentally set the stage for sleep. Just blow out the candles and tell him ya love him because he’s gone.

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic #bad omens fanfic #auntievwroteit

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joshslater · 1 year

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Delayed Graduation

Repost of an old story that was previously flagged as too risqué for tumblr. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

- We might have a solution of sorts for you.

I barely registered principal Johnston talking. My world had been shattered, without warning. It all felt unreal, and most of all unfair. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but there were no witnesses, just my word against hers. She wouldn’t press charges, Johnston had explained. I was almost demanding that she did, so I could clear my name, but thought better of it. If it went to trial all outcomes would be bad, to varying degrees. This way I would just be expelled. I guess I could use the term “drop out” to soften it further. It’s not like the job market is stellar even if you have a degree, but this would firmly pigeon hole me as manual labor.

- What? - I said we might have an arrangement that could interest you.

He pulled out a stack of papers from his manila folder and placed them in front of me, and continued.

- We have a little trial project we would like to push ahead with, to see what the full potential is. Coach Andrews would personally take charge of your training to see how far he can take you in a year. Similar to what he managed to do for Shane O’Brian. Since you will be heavily supervised, fully scheduled and not share any classes with your former class mates, she has agreed to allow you complete your studies under these conditions. It’s not that many months until she graduates anyway. Your graduation obviously will have to wait until next year.

Shane of course was the star of the basket team. He was two years below me, so I didn’t know him, but I heard he had basically never touched a ball before he met coach. He must have been active in something else though, with that body. The girls were swooning like crazy. Some of the boys too, as rumor had it.

- Sir, I’m really grateful for this opportunity, but I’m not really made for sports. Just look at me. Tall and thin. Not much track and field around here. - We are not asking for any miracles. Just follow all instructions given and do your best. That’s all we’re asking.

I started to flip through the papers. I was bored just looking at the page numbers.

- Should I bring this home to my parents? - This is a bit time sensitive, so I’d prefer if you make your decision already today. You’re 18. You get to decide this on your own. Why don’t I leave you for a bit? You can have a read through, and then decide what you want to do.

As he left the room I started to go read through the contract properly. Why do they make things so complicated? The contract really just said that I assumed responsibility for the “infraction”, but the school would not disclose it to anyone unless the contract was breached. I would agree to participate in the athletic education study for one year. In return the school would allow me to graduate next year. But written over 26 pages.

I didn’t feel like I had many options. Initials on every page and signature on the last. Then repeated on the second copy of the contract. I was about to leave and find principal Johnston when he returned, followed by coach Andrews.

- Have you made up your mind, or would you like Mr. Andrews to explain it in more detail. - I’ve already signed the papers. - Oh, well then. I’m so happy we could work something out.

Coach Andrews opened the gym bag he was carrying and pulled out a blue singlet and ear guards, and held them for me to take.

- Let’s try this on right away. - Now? Here?

Johnston opened a door to a side room of his office.

- You can change in the conference room here. - But wrestling?! Have you seen me? - As I said, follow all instructions and do your best is all we ask.

It was the first time I even held a singlet in my hands. I’ve never even thought of how to put one on. It wasn’t hard, just step in them like some shorts and then pull the straps over your shoulders, but I never imagined doing it.

I looked ridiculous. I guess size isn’t as important when the fabric is stretchy, but this sure wasn’t my size. The taut straps pulled the fabric in the groin, while at the same time my thin legs didn’t fill out the legs of the singlet. What a mess. I walked back into the office, naked apart from this one single piece of clothing.

- Should I put on the ear guards as well. - No, that isn’t necessary. Here.

Coach opened a small, brown, glass bottle and poured its contents into a white plastic cup from the water cooler, and handed it to me.

- This is the time sensitive part. Drink up.

This day was going from horrendously bad to confusing to weird. I emptied the cup. The liquid tasted like cough syrup. Sickly sweet and with bitter herbs.

- What is.. *cough* *cough* - Here. Take a seat.

It felt like drinking really hot cocoa when you are frozen. It kind of spreads from the chest to the rest of the body. All of me was getting warm, and an uncomfortable feeling or pressure. Everything was off, like I was drunk, or high or something. It was over in a minute, though it is quite possible my mind was playing tricks and it really was longer than that.

- Stand up against the wall, so I can take a photo.

Bewildered, and with unsteady steps, I did as told. He snapped a few pictures with his phone, and then showed me one.

- Don’t tell me this isn’t a great starting point.

I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was definitely me in the photo, but it was like the aspect ratio was wrong. I must be several inches shorter, but everything, arms, legs, chest, shoulders, neck, was wider. Even my face was altered, if ever so slightly. Where just minutes before, or whatever, I was a lanky gamer, I now was a hunk of muscle.

- How is this... - Don’t worry about the details. We must work quickly now while you are fresh, to get the wrestling technique right. Meet me in my office tomorrow at 7 am.

With that he slapped me on the shoulder and left. Just as he was about to exit the office, he pulled out a pair of shoes from the bag and placed them at a table.

- Oh, I almost forgot these. Your new size. See you tomorrow!

My head was spinning. What had just happened to me, to my body? Starting point? Principal Johnston had his distinct “anything else?” look.

- What about my studies?

My voice was lower than before, I think.

- You’ll be placed in the athlete’s reduced curriculum class. We just need to retest your proficiency levels first. - Why? I don’t understand. - My point exactly.

He didn’t make any sense. I felt tired, slow and almost dizzy trying to understand him.

- What about this body? What happens when I graduate? - You graduate with the body you have, like everyone else. It’s not like we can change it by magic or anything.

He smiled and chuckled to himself.

- Take your old clothes with you as you leave. Something might still fit.

Nothing did.

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switchcase · 4 months

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hello! please feel free to ignore this question if it makes you uncomfortable, i totally respect it if this isn’t something you want to talk about or get into.

i’ve been seeing the sentiment that the ISSTD is “corrupt and not to be trusted,” almost always tied to discussion of asserting that recovery of repressed memories isn’t “real” or that ritual abuse “isn’t real.” i’ve also seen folks tie this into accusations of antisemitism on the part of the ISSTD for validating victims of RAMCOA. (i apologize that i do not have screenshots of nor links to these posts so please feel free to take what i say here with a grain of salt, i understand that it’s on me to substantiate my claims and i don’t have anything on hand to do so.)

may i ask what your thoughts or feelings on this are? i only ask because you are clearly extremely well read on this subject in addition to your lived experiences, and i’ve been having a really difficult time just trying to wrestle with it on my own. i genuinely hope my asking you this isn’t disrespectful, and if it is, then i sincerely and deeply apologize and want to reiterate that i respect your right to not answer this or deal with it. i don’t want to be cruel or intrusive to you at all. i would appreciate your insight if you’re able and willing to give it, but if not then i understand completely, and in either case i hope you’re having a good day and i wish you the best. your blog has been very helpful to me in getting a better understanding of all types of disabilities, not just DID, and i’m deeply appreciative of everything you do here.

This isn't disrespectful at all and is a very good question to ask! My answer will be very long because it's complicated.

Specifically the phrasing of "corrupt" for the ISSTD in regards to memory recall and RA stems in large part from TST and Grey Faction wording who launched multiple harassment campaigns against the ISSTD, specific therapists, and individual survivors. In all honesty TST engages in a lot of shock-value and primarily antitheistic politics (eg the "become a Satanist so you can say you have religious reasons for abortion" thing as if actively pairing abortion = Satanist is At All a good idea in a predominantly Christian society), and their primary reason for proposing this is that decades ago, the term used for ALL forms of RAMCOA was "SRA". It was an umbrella term for all forms of extreme abuse (because the first ones to be noticed by the psych field were cult and religious abuse survivors) and was frequently disclaimered as not necessarily being related to cults or Satanism until the various name changes for the abuse type came into play (RA, RAT, severe sadistic abuse, etc). But mainstream society assumes that RA = Satanic cult, in part because of the original usage of the umbrella term, in part because of Satanic Panic, in part because they misunderstand "ritual" as in the occult definition and not "ritual" as in "methodical" in the same way that OCD is described. Either way, TST and Grey Faction jumped on this. Also, it is just kind of weird to me to associate a research journal as having certain collective thoughts and ideologies. They don't. It's a place to submit, publish, and read research papers, and a place to get CE credits if you want to pay extra for that. There are people who know each other and work together sure, but also a lot of them do not know each other and a lot of them disagree with each other. They aren't really much different from any other research journal like The Astronomical Journal.

Recovered memory discourse began for two reasons: 1) when this issue started, which was around when mandatory reporting of abuse became the law in the states, the psych field did not have a protocol for how to handle missing memories or court abuse cases especially where children were involved. This meant that therapists, investigators, and lawyers often used leading questions or asked directly about certain things, and those types of questions are now known to be able to mess with someone's recall (eg, "what were they wearing" vs "was he wearing a blue sweater"). They did this especially due to the time crunch in court cases where they felt they couldn't afford to wait for the memories to come back on their own. 2) abused children who had become adults started suing their parents (successfully) for their child abuse, and this led to the creation of the mostly parent and nonprofessional group False Memory Syndrome Foundation. They did exactly zero science but were very loud about how unfair it was that they were getting sued by their kids, and it led to this becoming a mainstream thought that ended up being researched by others. There is no evidence that FMS is at all true and recovered memory research shows accuracy is actually very high so long as someone remembers it organically and hasn't been manipulated (by accident or on purpose) into it. (Incidentally also why I deeply hate it when people in trauma circles label others' experiences for them)

As far as the antisemitism. In psychology textbooks and papers and so forth: I really, really need people to understand that a psychologist writing down what their patient believes has nothing to do with whether they actually think that's accurate. Outside of the academic texts: I really, really need people to ask themselves why they think groups of people willing to abuse and torture other people as a collective would have progressive, unproblematic worldviews and believe people should have rights. The type of person that devalues others' lives to the point of being able to torture someone else of their own volition is most likely going to have certain views of who is "worthy" of existence and who is "worthy" of having power over others. They will also feed these ideologies to their victims. Whether because they genuinely believe this OR because they are deliberately making sure that if their victims talk, they will not be believed and will just be perceived as crazy. Again, group that tortures people, lying is not exactly going to be taboo to them. Especially when it comes to preventing victims from running away, saying shit like "oh the entire city/the cops/the govt knows we're doing this, they'll just bring you back if you run" is effective at intimidating, creating despair, and causing submission and simultaneously sounds like a conspiracy when a survivor says "the government and all politicians are in on my abuse." They don't even have to be an organized group to pull that, I've seen people with parents or in DV situations where they'll claim they're buddies with cops/judges so you can't report them or they'll threaten to call the cops on their victim. And honestly also: survivors can simply be bigoted. Doesn't mean they were never abused or that they're lying about their abuse just because they exhibit poor behavior or harmful beliefs. Otherwise a lot of the DID community and a lot of people in trauma spaces in general would magically become trauma free.

My stance on this is that I don't surround myself with people who are engaging in harmful behaviors, regardless of their rhymes or reasons for it or whether I can sympathize. This is not limited to bigoted beliefs, but includes things like paranoid beliefs, lashing out frequently, emotional regulation issues in general, people who have no ability to set boundaries, etc. (I am not trying to say bigotry is equivalent to these other behaviors, simply that I do not stop at avoiding bigotry) The cause of behavior can be understood without being tolerated. It is not conducive to my own recovery to do so, particularly because the things they say are often triggering for me as someone who used to have extremely paranoid beliefs that I was fed, as well as my own group having been white supremacist in nature and much of my abuse having a racialized aspect to it. Whether they improve or not does not affect me. I hope they do change and grow, but I do not tie myself to people in the hopes that they'll change. People will only change if they themselves want to.

I hope this is helpful for you.

#ask #anonymous #ramcoa

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smolwritingchick · 3 months

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The Bangtan Gal Chapter 59- ISAC 2015 Chuseok Special

Chapter Summary: Jen shows off her studio and gets noticed by her celeb crush. BTS plays Smash. Volleyball becomes a new competition for the ladies at ISAC as Jen finds it to be her calling while the guys dominate in running. Jen does a V-Live

Words: 14,000+

Author's Note: Again, not sure if they are still active on Tumblr but also @darlings-illustrated created Jen’s V-Live outfit for this chapter. <3 credit to them! :)

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After her outing, Jen spent the rest of the day relaxing in her room, in good spirits. She was grateful for Sam Okyere and his kindness. She was looking forward to seeing him again and even assisting him with his future charity projects.

While she chilled in her room, she felt bored and didn’t feel like doing anything until an idea popped into her head.

Why not broadcast a V-Live?

Grabbing her phone, she signed in, naming the broadcast, ‘Jammin’ With Smartie’, setting the camera in front of her as she sat on the bed. She made sure the camera showed her entire body while she sat pretzel style.

Immediately viewers began popping in at a rapid rate, surprising her. Guess they really wanted to see her.

It made her feel good.

“Hey, hey!” she spoke in English, waving as the comments started flowing in

‘JENNIEEEEEEEEE’

‘Ennie! Miss youuuu’

‘Hope you come back to America! We miss you!’

‘Come to London!’

‘QUEEN!’

‘MOM! Finally, we get a V-Live with you!’

Jen started laughing when she read comments from ARMY calling her mom.

“Mom? That’s new. Ahahaha.”

‘Hi Jennie!’

'Can you speak in Korean?'

"Yeah, I'll go back and forth," she replied in Korean before going back to English.

‘Jen get some rest, it’s late!’

“It’s not that late. I’ll sleep soon. I wanted to see how you all were doing.”

‘Come to Brazil! Brazil loves you!’

“I would love to come to Brazil. It will happen one day!” she guaranteed. “I want to travel more and see more ARMY around the world. Hopefully, we can have a big world tour one day. I definitely want to go to Europe. I always think about Europe when it comes to tours.”

‘Those curls are poppin!’

‘So cuteeeee’

‘I love youuuuu’

“Where are you??’

“Where am I? I’m in my room~!” she responded as she continued to read the various comments. “I was bored so decided to do this and spend some time with y’all.”

‘How are you?’

‘I hope you’re eating well!’

She checked out the number of viewers. “That’s a lot. Over 60,000 already? Sweet. I hope you guys aren’t watching this late at night. Get some shut-eye, it’s good for the soul. And don’t worry, I will be sleeping soon. Yes, I am eating. I’m eating a lot actually. I was kind of stress eating a little bit but I’m fine, now.”

‘Please take care of yourself’

‘Don’t stress!’

‘What did you do today?’

“I’m trying my best. Idol life can be hectic. What did I do today? I hung out with Sam Okyere! I had such a great time with him! He’s mad cool. We ate African food. I never tried it before since I grew up eating Soul Food in my household in America. It’s so good! I'm definitely telling my family to start making African food."

‘Excited for ISAC?’

“Hell yeah, I am. Getting to wrestle and play volleyball? I’m a bit worried about the volleyball. I haven’t played volleyball before so it’ll be interesting to see how I do. But I’ve been practicing and watching YouTube videos for advice. But the wrestling, I’m confident about that.”

‘Can you play the guitar?’

“You want me to play something for you? Sure. For a while now I have been working on a Shawn Mendes song. He’s bae, of course.” she laughed. "I admire Shawn so much. I would love to sing with him one day. Even make a song together. Ah...okay. Let's see...ah, I know. I'll play Stitches for you!" she grabbed her guitar.

‘Yay!’

‘I love when she spoils us’

'Awwww her bright smile when she spoke about Shawn. I hope they meet!'

‘Yes!’

“I’ve been practicing the song for a while, making sure I get the notes down. I wanted to focus more on the emotion of the song to have a greater impact while singing,” she spoke as she made sure the guitar was tuned up.

As soon as she began the first notes of the song, ARMY noticed a change in her demeanor as she continued to play. They noticed how focused and happy she was when she played the guitar and it looked wholesome to watch.

“I thought that I’ve been hurt before. But no one’s ever left me quite this sore.” she sang softly, strumming along lightly.

‘Her voiceeeee <;3’

‘So, can I ship her with Shawn now?’

‘Getting goosebumps already.’

“Your words cut deeper than a knife. Now I need someone to breathe me back to life.” she continued to sing while her strumming got stronger as she sang out with her voice getting a little louder.

“Got a feeling that I’m going under. But I know that I’ll make it out alive. If I quit calling you my lover. Move on~"

‘Loveeeeee’

‘Stop being my bias wrecker!’

“You watch me bleed until I can’t breathe, shaking. Falling onto my knees. And now that I’m without your kisses. I’ll be needing stitches. Tripping over myself, aching. Begging you to come help. And now that I’m without your kisses. I’ll be needing stitches.”

ARMY noticed that her breath control had improved as she produced a consistent tone while singing smoothly and warmly.

“Needle and the thread gotta get you out of my head. Needle and the thread, gonna wind up dead. Needle and the thread, gotta get you out of my head, get you out of my head. You watch me~!” She stopped strumming and held that note for a few seconds before strumming again, “Bleed until I can’t breathe! I’m shaking falling onto my knees. And now that I’m without your kisses I’ll be needing stitches. I’m tripping over myself. I’m aching begging you to come help. And now that I’m without your kisses, I’ll be needing stitches. And now that I’m without your kisses, I’ll be needing stitches. And now that I’m without your kisses, I’ll be needing stitches.”

She strummed softly for the final note and exhaled.

“That was fun.” she chuckled lightly and set her guitar down. “How’d I do?” she checked the comments

‘Come thruuuuu sis!’

‘Yassss boo!’

‘Honestly, I’ll be the first to say that I wouldn’t mind Jennie singing me to sleep because her voice is so soothing.’

‘Shawn Mendes needs to see this ASAP!’

‘You did so well!’

‘You make us so proud!’

‘Represent Jennie!’

“Ah...thanks, everyone,” she replied and looked up when she noticed Hobi sticking his head out of her door with a bright smile. “Oh, hey Hobi! Did I wake you?”

“Yeah, I was awakened by a sweet voice. At first, I thought it was Jungkook singing like he usually does in his room but as I walked down the hall, I noticed it was coming from your room. That was you? With the guitar?”

“Uh, yes?” She smiled shyly.

“Whaaaaaa, munchkin, you’re improving.”

“You make me so happy. Thank you.” She pretended to cry, touched by his words.

After her V-Live, she went to sleep while ARMY made various videos of her cover and tried to get Shawn Mendes’ attention on Instagram and Twitter so he could watch her video.

They knew how much it would mean the world to her if she was able to get noticed by him.

For the past few days, ARMY had tried to get his attention, asking him to watch her cover and to check out her Instagram. They would speak highly of the Bangtan Girl and how much she admired him as an artist.

After remaining persistent and dedicated for Shawn to notice Jennie, they finally reached their goal and began to tag BTS in Shawn’s recent tweet and also tagged Jennie in Shawn’s recent Instagram post.

On Instagram, Shawn reposted a 15-second video of her playing stitches with the caption, ‘Wow, she is amazing! I love this! Who is this girl with the guitar?’

ARMY was quick to flood his comment section, freaking out that he noticed Jennie.

‘Finally you noticed her!’

'AHHHHHHHHHHHH JJennie_JW HE NOTICED YOU!'

'Jennie is about to lose her shit'

'SOMEBODY TAG JENNIE! JJennie_JW'

‘OMG! JJennie_JW look at this!’

‘That’s Jennie! She’s an African American member of the Korean Pop group, BTS. Check them out, they’re great!’

‘Jennie from BTS! She is a former member of Amity! She’s amazing, I’m so happy you noticed her! Her profile is JJennie_JW’

‘I love when my favs recognize each other. This is just made my morning!’

#GirlWithTheGuitar began to trend on Twitter while Shawn’s fans began to also be intrigued by who she was because they were confused as to why ARMY kept commenting about someone named ‘Jennie’ and ‘Miss Bangtan’ on his page.

Meanwhile, with Jennie, she was in Yoongi’s studio with Taehyung. She sat on one of the chairs, spinning around on it.

“Ah, you have a small pimple on your cheek.” Taehyung pointed out and giggled.

“Stop.” She tried to cover it.

“Hehehehe, it’s cute.”

“Stop talking about it.” She groaned.

“Ah, it’s just saying hi.”

“Oh my God, stop talking to it.” She laughed with him.

“I watched your V-Live this morning!”

“Oh, you did? What did you think? Too much? Too little?”

Taehyung smiled. “I loved it! You really like Shawn Mendes, don’t you? You always gush over that guy. Someone has a crush?”

“Ahaha, nah it’s not like that. I just really admire him.”

“So a big crush.”

“No!” she exclaimed as Yoongi walked in and set his bag down.

“Get out Taehyung, we’re about to work.” He called out.

“Hey! Don’t be so mean.” Jennie scolded the Daegu rapper while Tae frowned. “Tae, don’t make that face. Ugh, see what you do, Yoongi?”

“He’ll live.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll hang with you later, Tae. And don’t worry, I will find a way to get you into Cypher.”

Taehyung grinned at her statement, ignoring Yoongi’s protests. After he left, Yoongi and Jen prepared their rap lessons and after a couple of hours, they took a break.

“Smartie, you may want to take a look on Twitter,” he responded, looking up at his phone.

“Something wrong?” she asked, confused, and took out her phone.

Their notifications were blowing up like usual but something about Shawn Mendes made her stomach drop.

What about Shawn Mendes?

Was he hurt?

Was he coming out with new music?

On BTS’ profile, she realized that one of the members had retweeted his tweet, ‘Jennie, I think your fav noticed you~~ hehehe #V’

Shawn had tweeted a screenshot of her V-Live on the app, ‘BTS_twt This was so good! Wow! Thank you for covering my song <;3’

She let out a scream of excitement and immediately got up from the chair, while Yoongi began laughing at her.

“Holy shi-“ she continued to look at the various screenshots that ARMY had been tagging her in and she realized that he was following her back on Instagram.

She dropped her phone and ran out that door excitedly as the Daegu rapper’s laughter increased in volume.

His phone buzzed and he looked down to see Namjoon texting him.

Namjoon: I assume Nie Nie realized that Shawn Mendes noticed her and started screaming, running around the building?

Yoongi: As expected

A few minutes later, Jennie ran back into his studio.

“Got it all out of your system?” she heard the rapper ask with amusement in his voice.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to pull herself together as she picked up her phone.

“Not all of it!” She responded. “Like you have no idea how big this is! This is crazy!”

She tweeted Shawn back, ‘ShawnMendes OMFG THANK UUUU! I LOVE YOU! You have no idea how much this means to me #Jen’

On her Instagram, she began to film herself for a 15-second video, “G-guys, guys, Shawn Mendes just noticed your girl. He noticed your girl, JW! Miss Bangtan! Jennie! I am on cloud nine~! Come throuuuuuugh! Thank you so much ARMY!”

She posted the video with the caption, ‘IM CRYING! Shawn really just noticed your girl! #Blessed #ThankYouARMY’

“What a kid.” Yoongi chuckled and left to go to the bathroom.

After calming down, she scrolled on Instagram to some of her fan pages that she was happily following and came across a video of The8 from Seventeen talking about her.

He had expressed his interest in meeting her when asked which idols he would like to get closer to. He also mentioned that the other members of Seventeen think she seems like an easygoing person to hang out with, eager to see her at ISAC.

She has kept her eye on Seventeen for a while, enjoying their music. She’s heard of The8 especially and was aware that Chinese is his first language. She wanted to learn a little more Chinese to be able to speak to him.

Sure, she did not look like anyone’s ideal type around here in Korea with their beauty standards but her personality was more than enough to make her admirable with her kindness and outgoing nature. She always appreciated when other idols spoke highly of her and mentioned that she was doing well in the industry.

Once she liked the video, fans noticed quickly, commenting that she liked the post and hoped that they would meet each other.

“Smartie.”

Jennie looked up to see Yoongi walking in with a familiar face behind him. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth once she caught who was with him.

There stood her sister, Vienna, with an awkward smile on her face.

“Hey.” she waved.

Standing up, Jennie ran up to her, wrapping her arms around her tightly. “’Enna! What are you doing here!?”

“Rap Monster let me in the building when I reached out,” she responded, pulling away while Yoongi left to give them some privacy. “I uh, came to see you and apologize. And to thank you for what you did for my tuition.”

“The hell? You couldn’t have called?”

She really flew across the country to say Sorry?

“I wanted to see you. Damn, I’m so jetlagged,” the college student exhaled and sat down. “So this is what you go through? Plane after plane? Country after country? City after city? Just to perform? And participate in other activities? Waking up early on top of that? This is...so tiring. Being on that plane for almost a day. Ugh, my acting can’t even compare. I don’t know how you do it, JW.”

Jen let out a chuckle and sat with her. “Tell me about it. My body took months to get used to living in Korea and traveling from place to place for events. I can’t even describe how exhausted my body was when I first started in BTS.”

“I see. Well, you’re still here,” Vienna smiled softly. “Look, I-I’m sorry. For everything. For all those things I said. I was just so frustrated. But there will be plenty of opportunities for me as an actress. Broadway will be in my future real soon. I just know it,"

“Hey, it’s fine. I forgive you. I'm sorry too. I love you. Even if we butt heads at times, nothing will ever change that,”

“Even after all that hurtful stuff, I said?”

“I know you didn’t mean it. Just like I didn't mean the hurtful things I said to you. We're fine."

“I’m lucky to have a little sister like you. I’m really proud of you.”

“And I'm lucky to have a big sister like you. I'm proud of you, too,” she gave her a tight hug and they stayed like that for a while. Pulling away, she asked, “So, shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Shouldn’t you mind your business?” Vienna teased as Jennie rolled her eyes

“So, how long you staying for?”

“Wow, you want to kick me out, already?”

“Well, you really should be in class.”

“You’re joking right?” Vienna stared at her in disbelief.

Jen paused before laughing. “Yeah, I’m joking! Let’s have some fun while you’re here!”

“That’s the Jennie I know.”

“So, does Alani, mom, or dad know about this? That you’re here?”

“Um...not yet.”

“As expected.”

--------

Back at the dorm, the members agreed to have a video game night of playing Super Mario Smash Bros on the Wii U. Jennie sat on the couch with Vienna, Jimin, Taehyung, and Hobi while the rest of the members sat in chairs or on the floor. Jen and Namjoon would occasionally translate to Vienna on what was going on, and the college student was eager to watch the chaos.

Creating a Twitter video, Jen spoke in her Native tongue, “ARMY, we bout to play smash bros. BTS may not be a group anymore after this. Wish us luck because friendships will be lost.”

“Let’s do this thang!” Jimin shouted in English, causing her to laugh as she stopped the video and tweeted, ‘Friendships will be lost...no hard feelings, mkay? #Jen’

For the first match, it was Jennie vs Jimin vs Namjoon vs Jin. They went to the character select menu as the epic video game music continued to play.

“Let me guess, Rosalina & Luma?” Jungkook declared.

“Damn right,” Jen replied and selected them. “I’m at my best when I use them.”

“Ahahaha, for future reference, we may have to kick some people out of Bangtan due to frustrations in this game so let’s try to have a clean and fair fight, all right?” Jin announced.

“We’re choosing the Norfair stage.” Jimin picked.

“NO!” Jen yelled.

“YES!” Namjoon yelled back

“I hate that stage! We just started playing, can we choose a more sane and civilized stage?” Miss Bangtan pleaded

“Nope! Suffer.” Namjoon laughed evilly.

Jennie shook her head in disbelief. “This is so uncharacteristic of you. I am appalled.”

GO!

“Wait! Wait! I wasn’t ready!” Jin yelled as his character, Luigi, began to get punched around by Jimin who giggled hysterically.

Jennie decided to go on a defensive route and stay away from all the fighting until she found an opening, watching the character’s movements.

“No defensive this time, Jen Drop.” Namjoon’s character, Sonic, went right after hers as they began fighting around.

As the game went on, Jimin started laughing when his character, Yoshi, accidentally fell off the map.

“How?!” Taehyung laughed at him with Jungkook.

“It was an accident!” Jimin exclaimed

Meanwhile, Jennie managed to kick Jin off the map to eliminate him until he could respawn again.

Jin frowned. “Why, Jennie? Why would you do this? And stop taunting me, Jimin!” The oldest member yelled over their laughter.

Before they knew it, the giant lava wave began to come up to the screen while Jennie managed to kick Namjoon out of one of the safe areas so she wouldn’t get hit. But suddenly he paused the game

“Hey! We are not doing this, you can’t do that!” she shouted.

“What are you talking about!?” Namjoon shouted back, trying to look innocent.

“Stop pausing the game!”

“I accidentally pressed pause!”

“Stop lying!”

Namjoon unpaused the game and managed to get into the safe area with her while the lava wave came through. Unfortunately for Jin, he spawned just in time for his character to get hit again, knocking him out of the match again as everyone laughed at him.

“This is how you treat the oldest?” Jin asked.

Near the end of the round, Jennie and Namjoon were the final ones in the match, with Namjoon occasionally trying to find slick ways to cheat by messing with her controller and pausing the game constantly to distract her. The lava wave in the game came once again and he managed to make her character face its wrath, to win the match.

‘GAME! The winner is! Sonic!’

“Looks like I won!” He happily announced

“What is you talkin’ about!?” Jennie yelled. “Friggin cheater!”

Next was Yoongi vs Jungkook vs Taehyung vs Namjoon, who battled each other in the Final Destination stage. After giving her controller to Taehyung, Jen watched as Jungkook used Mario to trash his opponents.

“Can you at least go easy on me!?” Namjoon exclaimed.

“I don’t think that’s happening,” Yoongi replied.

With no surprise, the Golden Maknae won the match and proceeded to take on Hobi, Taehyung, and Jimin this time. Before Jen knew it, it was her turn to play again. She ended up groaning when she watched Jungkook select Ganondorf as his character.

“Why?” She complained. “Why would you do this? I hate playing against him, he’s so damn hard!”

“Exactly why I picked him.” The Golden Maknae smirked, still proud of his winning streak.

He had won four games straight.

She rolled her eyes and selected the Wuhu Island. As the match began, the players continued to fight around the platforms that were moving occasionally.

“Stop trying to take me out, Kook!” She attempted to evade his attacks before he could take her off the map. “I hate you, he got me struggling over here with this character.”

Unluckily for her, her character fell into the water and sank down, getting taken out as she rolled her eyes.

Hobi, playing as Ryu from Street Fighter, begins to shout, “Hadoken! Hadoken! Hadoken! Hadoken! Hadoken! Ha-“

“Shut up!” Yoongi shouted, causing him to squeal in surprise.

As the match went on, Jungkook caught Jennie with his final smash as she angrily handed the controller to Namjoon.

“Fuck outta here!” She snapped while Jungkook laughed hysterically.

It was down to Jungkook and Hobi. The members mainly cheered on Hobi because they wanted to see Jungkook lose.

“Did he get him?! He did!” Jimin yelled when Hobi hit Jungkook with the final smash, beating him as everyone cheered.

“You sure you don’t want to play?” Jen asked Vienna.

“Why not?” She took Jungkook’s controller after Jen told him to give it to her. ”I don’t know how to play, though.”

After Jen told her the basic moves, Vienna chose Kirby to go up against Yoongi, Hobi, and Taehyung. They battled at Hyrule Castle 64 as the main theme of The Legend of Zelda played.

“W-wait stop falling off the edge of the map. Jump up! ” Jen laughed and tried to coach her sister.

After a few moments, she continued to get the hang of it, taking out Yoongi’s Pikachu character.

“What? That connected?” Vienna asked, bewildered.

“You knocked him out of the map but the battle isn’t over yet, keep fighting.” Jen encouraged.

“That’s some disrespect, right there,” Vienna complained when her character was taken out the map by Taehyung.

“Ah, fuck this game!” Yoongi rage quit and handed the controller to Jin instead so he could take over. He got frustrated when he kept getting beaten down by everyone.

“Really, hyung?” Jimin giggled.

“He’s just a little upset.” Namjoon teased.

When Vienna suddenly realized that she won the game, beating Taehyung, she responded in shock, “Wait, I won?!”

“Good job!” Taehyung happily said, placing his hand out for her to high five him, while the rest of the members applauded her efforts.

“Thank you! Good game!” She beamed and turned to Jennie. “That was fun! You’re in good hands here. I like their vibe, up close and personal. It’s like you’re not away from family.”

Jen returned her smile and nodded. “Thanks, Vee. I agree.”

“All right, let’s play teams now,” Jimin announced.

“I call Jungkook.” Jennie declared, high fiving the Golden Maknae.

“NO!” Namjoon and Jimin shout.

“Noooooooooo~!” Taehyung and Hobi complained

“Absolutely not.” Jin shook his head

“Hell no,” Yoongi added.

“And why not?” Jungkook asked with irritation while Jennie scowled at the members’ disapproval of her choice of partner.

“No JenKook for this because you always win together. Change it up.” Namjoon demanded which caused the 97 Liners to look displeased by their demands.

“I call Jennie!” Taehyung shouted and clung to her.

“What...?” Jungkook frowned, narrowing his eyes at the 95 Liner. “How come he gets to-“

“And I call Jungkook~!” Jimin hugged him as Jungkook let out an exasperated sigh.

Jen shot Jungkook an apologetic smile and prepared to play.

Jennie and Taehyung battle against Jin and Namjoon, easily getting a win when Jen took out both of her opponents with Rosalina & Luma’s final smash.

“No! No!” Jin complained

“OP! That is OP! So overpowered!” Namjoon shouted.

Miss Bangtan danced in victory with Tae, ignoring their protests, “Hey! Hey! Hey!”

As an hour went by, Jimin spoke, “I want to see Jungkook and Jennie battle each other.”

His idea made the 97 Liners' interest rise as they glanced at each other.

“I’m down, are you?” Jen asked.

“Bring it on.” The Golden Maknae responded.

Jennie chose the same character while Jungkook chose Shulk. For their first battle, they chose the Gaur Plain stage as the theme played.

GO!

As soon as the fight began, Jennie and Jungkook clashed, trying to get as many hits as possible while avoiding falling off the map. Jungkook managed to juggle Jennie up in the air with perfectly timed strikes before blasting her off the map. A confident smirk came across his lips as he waited for her character to respawn.

Jennie kept calm, making sure to keep a cool head while fighting back. Her heart began to race faster as they continued to play, aiming to win. The members watched them game keenly, with no words spoken as they watched them back and forth.

Jungkook managed to knock her off the map to win the game as she roughly ran a hand over her face.

Frustration was clear on her face for a moment before she got calm again. They played again, picking the same stage. Jen glanced at the top of the screen to see and hear, Mechanical Rhythm, playing in the background for the stage, setting the mood for a more aggressive gameplay

“And she’s getting mad.” Jungkook teased, trying to get under her skin.

Jennie decided to ignore him and remained focused.

All that was heard was the rapid button mashing and battle cries of their characters. Once she began to continuously strike his character off the map, the Golden Maknae began to become vigilant of the direction of the battle.

'She got this,' Vienna thought as she watched her sister focus.

"See ya!" Jen lightly said once she swiftly got behind his character and kicked him straight to the sky for a finishing blow.

"Shit!" Jungkook shouted.

‘GAME!’

“YES!” she shouted, standing up and fist pumped.

“AHHHHHHHHH!” the members yelled, jumping up and down while Vienna grinned and applauded.

The winner is, Rosalina & Luma!

The Golden Maknae was visibly disappointed by his loss, remaining silent while everyone celebrated her victory.

“Final round! Who will win?” Jin laughed

“That was just luck. I let you win.” Jungkook responded.

“We’ll see about that in the final round,” Jen replied.

For the final round, they fought furiously, both equally matched. Once they saw the smash ball spawn, they aimed to hit it. She managed to destroy the smash ball just before him and caught him in Rosalina’s final smash. She watched as Luma expanded bigger and started to repeatedly attack Jungkook’s character, boosting up his percentage rate and then he was blasted out of the map

GAME!

“WOO!” She jumped up.

“OH MAH GOD!” Jimin yelled while the rest of the members started yelling and jumping up and down with her

“She beat Jungkook!” Jin celebrated

Jungkook placed his controller down and huffed, displeased at his loss while some of the members teased him by shaking him while laughing at him.

Jennie took a seat right next to him on the carpet with her phone in her hand. She took a victory selfie with a bright smile on her face with an annoyed Jungkook in the background.

She tweeted, ‘#Bodied’

Standing up, Jungkook grabbed a pillow and tossed it across the room before going straight to his room while everyone continued laughing

“Ahahahahaha! Yooooooo! He tossed the pillow!” Vienna cackled. “He’s so mad.”

After another hour of gaming, everyone decided to head off to bed. Jennie let Vienna sleep in her bed while she took a visit to Jungkook’s room, wondering if he was still upset that he lost. She’d be feeling the same way since they both enjoy winning.

Who doesn’t like to win?

Shutting his door after walking inside, she saw him sulking while playing on his phone. He was still feeling bitter about the loss.

“So, we not friends, now?” she teased and took a seat on his bed.

Instead of replying, he ignored her and placed the covers over himself.

“I hope you know that won’t get rid of me.” she grabbed his covers and got in the bed with him, facing his back. He sighed and tried to move away but she moved against him, hugging him from behind. “We still not friends?”

Ignored again.

She suddenly pressed her soft lips to his cheek, taking him by surprise.

“How about now?” she asked but didn't get a response.

The Golden Maknae felt his cheeks warm up but he continued to be stubborn while pondering if she’d kiss him, again. Seconds later, he felt those lips against his cheek repeatedly.

“Now?” She asked again.

Kiss.

“Now?”

Kiss.

“How about now?”

Kiss.

“Now?”

Kiss.

“Now?”

Kiss.

“What about now?”

Kiss.

“How about now?”

Kiss.

“Now?”

It was getting harder to ignore her as he was greeted by her kisses all over his face. He was losing the battle in fighting the big grin appearing on his face.

“I see that smile! Now answer, we still friends?” she spoke and he tried to ignore her again. “I’ll stay here all night if I have to. I guess I have to be the big spoon, so be it. So, we still not friends? I know you hear me.”

She laughed, snuggling up against him tightly as he started forgetting about his anger from losing the game.

Jungkook sighed and turned around, wrapping an arm around her to bring her to his chest.

“I can’t stay mad at you...” He grumbled.

“Good. Now good night.” She snuggled against him.

“Y-you’re staying?”

“And having to deal with Vienna’s wild sleeping? I think not. Besides I like sleeping with you. You’re so warm and comfortable. Like a friggin human heater. Unless you want me to leave-“

“Stay, please,”

The next morning, Jungkook woke up with Jennie sleeping on his chest. He briefly watched her sleep and smiled. He pondered what it’d be like to wake up to this every day if they were a couple. Good morning kisses were guaranteed as well as him trying to make her stay in bed with him.

Gently moving her, he got out of bed and placed the covers on her. Stretching his arms, he headed out of the room, noticing that Jin already made breakfast because of the smell of food. Saying their good mornings, Jungkook grabbed a plate and took it back to his room, placing it on his nightstand for Jen to eat.

When he went back into the kitchen, he noticed Vienna sitting by the table, eating with Jin while trying to speak English with him.

Vienna noticed Jungkook and smiled warmly.

“Hey. Morning.” she greeted while Jin went to make plates for the members when they woke up.

“Good morning!” Jungkook greeted while smiling shyly.

She typed something in her phone and slid it to him. He looked at it and it read, ‘Sorry for the language barrier. I don’t know Korean but found this app to help translate. I’ll cut right to the chase. There’s been a question I’ve been wanting to ask you since I met you. You like my sister, don’t you?’

He looked up, surprised, and averted his eyes, looking shy.

That immediately gave her an answer.

She chuckled and typed something else on her phone before sliding it back to him.

‘I’m not angry. I’m happy. I love my sister and I would do anything for her. And watching you...I see that your feelings are genuine and that you deeply care for her. You’ll make a cute couple. You have my full support. :)’

He read and looked up, nodding. “Th-thank you.” He responded softly.

“You’re welcome,” she replied and went back to eating.

After breakfast, Jennie and Vienna hang out in Seoul to bond. When they were shopping at a local store, Jen had found an emoji head and tried it on.

Vienna thought it was funny and took a photo, posting it on her Instagram with the caption, ‘My heart <;3’

Not long after, Alani facetimed Vienna. “Oh gosh, I guess she saw the post.” Vienna laughed and accepted the call.

The screen revealed Alani shaking her head while Jennie popped up next to Vienna, waving.

“Yo, I hate y’all...skipping class, Vienna? Leaving ME to present our project!?” Alani yelled. “Ima kill you when you come back! Are you kidding me!?”

“Wait you left Alani with your project?” Jen exclaimed

“Well...I mean...I did my part.” Vienna grinned sheepishly

“Yes, this girl left me to present alone!” Alani yelled angrily.

“It’s good practice for what you want to do.” Vienna shrugged. “Don’t be a snitch and tell mom or dad. I’ll be home soon.”

“I cannot believe you! I could’ve gone with you!”

Jen was surprised by her statement while Vienna laughed. “That wasn’t what I was expecting.”

"Hey! I can be rebellious, too!" Alani exclaimed.

------

Later that day, an African American female college student hung around Dunkin Donuts, filming a vlog for her YouTube channel. She was with two of her American friends, a guy and another girl, who sipped on their coffee, eating breakfast sandwiches.

“Hey guys, we are back with another video. It is day 3 of us being in Seoul, and we’re here eating Dunkin Donuts. Say hi!” she panned the camera to her friends and they rambled about their excitement for their upcoming semester of studying abroad.

While her friends were talking, she turned to do more people watching but froze when she noticed Jennie.

“Wait a minute is that-oh my God, guys, I think that’s Jennie from BTS.,” she said quickly with a whisper. She panned her camera to Miss Bangtan and Vienna who were waiting for their order. “What the heck is she doing here!?”

Her two friends widened their eyes and covered their mouths.

“Holy sh-no way is that really her?” her female friend exclaimed as their hearts started racing.

“Guys, we are in the same building as Miss Bangtan, how great is this?” her guy friend responded.

“Should we say hi?” the Youtuber pondered.

“No! We should be respectful.” Her female friend disapproved.

“And miss an opportunity to say hey to our favorite K-pop idol? Hell no, I want to say hi. We’re not screaming in her face or anything.” her male friend said.

“I dunno...should we?” the Youtuber wondered.

“We should do it.”

“Won’t it be rude?”

“Yelling and screaming in excitement in her face is. But as long as we’re not too crazy, I honestly don’t see what the problem is with approaching your favorite idol.”

“Jennie looks so mad though, should we approach her?” the female friend added.

“Remember that Jen always says that she has a resting bitch face?” the Youtuber brought up.

“True...”

The Youtuber handed her friends the camera and she got out of her seat, making her way to Jennie. Butterflies were in her stomach as she inched closer to her idol. She even went over what she planned to say in her head.

When the Youtuber watched Jennie and Vienna turn around, she froze as she locked eyes with Miss Bangtan.

“Um-I uh, annyeongh-hello-haseyo-um-i uh-hi.” She stuttered, trying to say hello.

“Hi.” Jennie let out a chuckle. “You good, girl?”

“I can’t even speak, right now. If I can’t even speak in my own language, what makes me think I can speak in Korean?” the fan sighed. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to say hi, I can’t believe you are in front of me. I’m trying to create a Vlog for YouTube and then you showed up, throwing me off guard with your beauty and I’m just embarrassing myself in front of you.”

“Awww thank you! You don’t have to be so nervous. You’re fine! I encourage fans to say hi!” Jen reassured while the girl’s two friends appeared next to her, nervously saying hi. “How are you guys? You eat this morning?”

“Yes, we did. We’re college students. Studying abroad.”

“Wow, really? When did you come to Korea?”

“A few days before to know our surroundings until it’s time for the Fall semester to start.”

“Wow, enjoy it to the fullest. I always hear that some people want to get closer to their favorite K-Pop idols and all while being here but still take time to learn the culture and go sightseeing. Learn the history and even more of the language. It’s a beautiful place and South Korea isn’t just about K-Pop, you feel me?”

“Definitely. You inspired me to study abroad here. I was always nervous to step out of my comfort zone and go to another country. But when you did it, especially at a young age, away from family, it motivated me. This is my second time studying abroad. I went to Spain last summer. I’m glad I did it, I’m learning a lot about myself and trying new things. Now I’m a senior in college, here in Seoul.”

“Wow, that means so much to me. It’s good to get out there, you will learn a lot. I always think it’s fascinating to learn about other cultures. Especially the food, that’s always a plus. Do you know some Korean?”

“Only the basics.” the YouTuber’s female friend responded while their guy friend agreed.

“I’m at an intermediate level but I’m so nervous to be in front of you, I couldn’t show you my Korean skills or even speak in proper English.” the Youtuber responded which made Jennie laugh at the way she said her statement.

“We managed to grab seats for ISAC, too!” the male friend beamed

“No way, for real? That’s dope. Make sure you cheer on Bangtan.”

After she took photos with the three students and did a quick shoutout when being filmed for the vlog, Jennie offered them some of her munchkins and wrote encouraging messages on their notebooks with an autograph.

‘Don’t stay in your dorm during your semester. Go out, take the train and travel around South Korea!’

‘This is a great experience to learn more about yourself and another country’s culture. Enjoy every second of it and have a blast.‘

‘Cherish the people you meet along your journey here in Seoul. Learn something new while you are here.’

-----

Just before the ISAC event, Big Hit released a Bangtan Bomb called, ‘Training Smartie for ISAC 2015’

The video contained multiple clips of the members overexaggerating and eagerly yelling words of encouragement while training her.

As she lifted weights, the members would yell encouraging words such as, “Let’s go smartie!”, “Let’s go! Feel the power!”, “Believe in the power!” and she managed not to laugh at their yells as they jumped up and down.

For a bonus clip, Jennie was seated at the table with Suga and Jungkook next to her. She began eating a big plate of Lamb Skewers while Suga and Jungkook cheered her on.

“Eat!”

“You got this! You got this!”

“Chew it well!”

“You must eat well for wrestling!”

--------

On the day of the event, Bangtan arrived, already in their assigned outfits while Vienna walked with Jennie.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on. What are they saying? And why do they keep staring? It’s starting to piss me off-excuse me don’t touch my hair!” Vienna exclaimed.

Jennie cringed and pulled her away. She turned to one of the staff members and bowed slightly.

“Please don’t touch our hair without our permission. It’s rude, all right?” she responded in Korean.

“Is that your real hair?” the staff member asked.

“Yes. It is our natural, real hair,” she responded as they looked amazed and confused.

As the two sisters walked away, Vienna mentioned, “I don’t want no one looking at me cross-eyed. It’s rude to stare.”

“I mean...you’ll get used to it. It can be annoying,"

Around 300 idols made of ten teams were participating today and it was packed with various fandoms supporting their favorite groups. Once Jennie escorted Vienna to sit with the Big Hit staff on the seats, she waited for the event to start.

She stood with Bangtan backstage, waiting for their team to be called out so they could walk out.

“Now the players are entering.” The commentators announced.

“Team Female-vengers: Kara, Rainbow, Dal shabet, EXID, Minx, GFriend.” was the second team announced.

“Ah, Hayoon~.” Jennie beamed when she saw her happily walk out with G-Friend.

“How you feeling?” Rapmon stood next to her.

“Nervous but excited too. I really hope I do well in these two games. Wrestling and volleyball? I trained as hard as I could for this. I have a great feeling about this ISAC.”

“You’ll make Bangtan proud no matter what happens. Just keep a cool head and remember what we told you.”

“Ditto.”

“Team Who’s your boss: Noel, Wonder Girls, Jeong Jinwoon, Changmin, Lee Hyun, MissA, Baek A-yeon, BTS, Bestie, GOT7.” was announced next as they walked out.

BTS walked out with big smiles on their faces, while Jennie looked on amazed at how many people showed up this time.

On the electronic display, it showed various idols. When it showed Jennie, who wasn’t aware that she was shown at first, ARMY screamed loud and proud. Jin nudged her and pointed up at the screen. She looked up and widened her eyes, chuckling before waving.

The fact that she was on the same team as Wonder Girls was astounding and she was even on a volleyball team with two of the members. It’ll be a great experience.

After saying the oath, the event started with Women’s Ssireum. There were teams consisting of three members and they played the best out of three. The time of play is one minute and 30 seconds. Jennie was teamed up with Baek A-Yeon and Haeryung from Bestie. They were stretching together and talking strategy.

For the preliminaries, Kyoungri from Nine Muses went up against Hyerin from EXID for the first match. Jennie was standing around with Bangtan, focused as she watched them closely.

“Breathe,” Namjoon said encouragingly behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Don’t be discouraged. They’re not ready for Miss Bangtan.”

“Thanks.” she smiled and they took a seat.

Jungkook sat next to her as they watched closely at the two wrestling. Hyerin had attacked by effortlessly using her feet to trip Kyoungri down in 2.06 seconds.

“You see how she goes for the legs?” Jungkook pointed out. “She aims to trip her opponents. Watch your feet if you go up against her.”

“All right,” she responded.

“Do all that you can to stay on your feet. When you see an opening go for the takedown,”

Throughout the entire round of Nine Muses and EXID, Jungkook pointed some stuff out to pay attention to, mentioning strategies on how to take on the girls. Fansites that attended ISAC, filmed the BTS members and updated their Twitter accounts on what was going on. Once they snapped a photo of JenKook watching closely, with Jungkook whispering strategy in her ear, they tweeted the photos with the caption, ‘Mentor and student. JenKook look focused!’

Fans would immediately tweet,

‘97Liners, I ship!'

'If he whispered in my ear, I would’ve DIED! How can she just sit there so calm?'

'Jungkook is such a great mentor!'

'There is no way she was that calm when you have the golden Maknae whispering in your ear’

'He was probably giving her advice on the wrestling. Y'all thirsty! It ain’t that deep!’

Matches such as Girl's Day vs AOA, Apink vs Red Velvet, Tara vs Secret, and Mamamoo vs Sistar occurred until it was time for Jen’s team to go up against G-Friend. AOA, APink, T-ara, Nine Muses and Mamamoo all advanced to the semi round and it was down to either G-Friend or Bestie/Baek A-Yeon & Jennie. Umji, Eunha, and Yerin represented G-Friend in this match.

“First we have the plucky Miss Bangtan representing BTS and is teaming up with Baek A-Yeon and Haeryung. Last year, she had a running relay and fell down.” the commentators recapped, showing her falling on the screen.

The sight of her falling, caused Jen to roll her eyes, seeming irritated at the sight. They were doing her dirty because she fell. It was over and done with.

“They really bringing up this crap again?” she grumbled under her breath, shaking her head.

She stepped up on the platform while Yerin waited for her with a bright smile since they were great friends. The two winked at each other before giggling.

“Go, Jennie! Go, Yerin!” Hayoon, along with the other G-Friend members cheered.

Jen exhaled and glanced at Jungkook who gave her a reassuring smile.

“You got this. Remember what I told you,” he mouthed and she responded with a curt nod and turned back to Yerin.

The two of them bowed to each other and positioned themselves while kneeling.

“JENNNIEEEEEEEEEEE~!” Jimin yelled with Taehyung, applauding.

“Munchkin! Munchkin! Munchkin!” Hobi chanted while Rapmon and Suga laughed with one another, feeling second-hand embarrassment.

“Miss Bangtan has quite the fanboys, it seems. Who will win? Jennie or Yerin?” the announcers wondered.

Once the whistle blew, Jennie immediately used her strength to lift Yerin high in the air and slammed her down on the mat.

Jungkook slapped his hands together and stood up with a big grin on his face, fist pumping.

“Yes!” he yelled.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!” Bangtan jumped up, applauding her victory while ARMY and the rest of Bangtan supporters began screaming for her.

Yerin started laughing, covering her face while Jennie helped her up.

“You all right, sis?” she hugged her.

“Yes, I’m fine. You’re so strong.” Yerin giggled.

“Wow! That power!” the commentators exclaimed as they went to a slow-motion replay. “The strength of Miss Bangtan should not be underestimated!”

“Winner! BTS’ Jennie!” was announced as male idols watched the performance, surprised and mesmerized.

Some were whispering to themselves about her and smirking in approval.

“Atta girl!” Zico from Block B, shouted, cheering her on with the rest of the Block B members.

GOT7 also became her cheerleaders as Bam Bam stared at her with heart eyes, placing a hand over her heart.

“I think I’m in love,” Bam Bam mentioned to Jackson, who cackled at him, slapping his arm.

As the fansites filmed videos and posted it on their social media, as fans commented,

‘Some of the boys look pleased’

'So who is gonna be the next idol to speak on how much they admire Jen? Cause some of them are staring hard af and I'm here for it'

‘Hahaha some of the guys look like they wanna marry her’

‘Bam Bam watching with that pleased look on his face, ahahah.’

‘Sexy, beautiful and powerful! Go gurl!

‘She FLEW HER DOWN! DAMN’

‘The girls’ faces hahaha they look so scared to face her now’

‘Look at her face in the beginning! She looked like, “Oh shit, I’m dead.’

‘I’m ready to see Jennie at Wrestlemania now.’

‘She took that so seriously ahaha.’

‘Can Jennie throw me like that too!?’

‘Force to be reckoned with! She didn’t come to play! She definitely redeemed herself from last time.’

‘How did she get so strong!? OMG Jungkook what have you been teaching her!?’

‘Flipped her like pancakes. Didn’t even last two seconds!’

‘She-she just picked her up and slammed her down in 2.0 seconds!’

‘I blinked and Yerin was on the mat. What happened!?’

‘I love how the guys are smiling so hard.’

‘That Captain America strength right there! Miss Bangtan 100%! Represent us!’

Jennie was smiling brightly at the cheers and applauds for her efforts as she bowed and waved.

After leaving the mat, Hayoon ran up to her to hug her. “That was amazing!” she said and started giving her repeated kisses on her cheek.

After speaking with G-Friend, Jennie went back to Bangtan who had given her high fives and compliments such as, “Well done.” And “You’ve worked hard.”

“You did it!” Jungkook high fived her and pulled her to his chest for a warm hug.

“We did it.” she corrected him as she wrapped her arms around his back. The rest of the members joined in for a group hug before sitting back down to watch the rest of her team wrestle.

She cheered on Baek A-Yeon as she went up against Umji and managed to slam her down on the mat to make her team advance to the semi-round.

“Yeah!” Jennie jumped up and ran up to Baek A-Yeon with Haeryung to celebrate their advancement.

As the last round started, Jennie sat back down with Taehyung wrapping his arms around her from behind, sitting behind her. Jimin sat in front of her, laying his back between her legs while Jungkook hugged Taehyung from behind.

They watched as Baek A-Yeon went up against Sung-a from Nine Muses and lost the match when she was slammed down.

Jennie stood up and walked to the mat, preparing to wrestle Sojin. They bowed to each other and got in position.

As soon as the whistle blew, Sojin tried to catch her off guard by going after her legs but Jennie stood her ground and lifted her up to slam her down within five seconds.

“Sorry.” Jennie grinned and helped her up while Sojin reassured her that she was fine.

The fansites had filmed Jungkook smiling proudly and in the end, Jen’s team had won a Bronze medal for their efforts when Haeryung fell short against her opponent. After they received their bronze medals, Haeryung began to cry.

“Wait, why are you crying?” Jennie went to console her with Baek A-Yeon.

“I let the team down. I’m sorry,” she responded, sadly.

“Hey, you did not let us down. We tried our best and we had fun. Thank you for your hard work. You’ve done well, girl. Don't even worry about it.” she reassured her, wiping her tears as the fansites filmed their conversation.

The three ladies join in for a group hug, thanking each other for a job well done for wrestling.

When the interaction was posted on Twitter, people praised Jennie's kindness and sportsmanship.

While soccer began, Jennie chilled with Bangtan, taking out her bun. Before she prepared to fix it, Taehyung grabbed her hair tie and got behind her, fixing her bun for her. She was surprised at how delicate he was to not hurt her. He placed her hair in a high bun and got in front of her to place a strand of curls on each side. Once he was done, he patted her head and smiled.

She took out her phone and checked it out. “This looks really good, Tae.”

Wandering around after catching up with some idol friends, Jennie decided to finally approach The8, greeting him in Chinese.

“I only know a little bit of Chinese but I will try to learn more so there can be less of a language barrier between us.” her Chinese was broken but he smiled at her efforts and managed to understand her clearly.

‘Wow...handsome.” he responded in English which caused her to chuckle

“Beautiful.” she corrected.

“Sorry, sorry.” he bowed, feeling embarrassed.

“It’s all right. Can you recommend me some Chinese dishes I should try? I love Chinese food.”

“Yes, of course!” he started naming some of his favorite dishes.

As they spoke, Joshua approached them and greeted them.

“Hey! Great job on the wrestling.” Joshua said in English.

“Oh, thank you! I had a blast. You’re Joshua, right?”

“Yeah, it’s nice to finally meet Miss Bangtan. I’m actually from Los Angeles.”

“Ah, west coast. I’m from the east. East side is better just so you know.” she teased and they shared a laugh. “The both of you two are so cute.” she pointed at the both of them.

“You’re cute, too. The8 is really fond of you. He always talks about how kind and hardworking you are.” he gestured while The8 was looking at them back and forth, confused since they were speaking in English.

“I saw the video. It always gives me a giddy feeling when people tell me that. It makes me feel really good. Hey, can I have your Kakao Talk?”

“Yeah, of course.” he took out his phone

“I want your Kakao Talk too, The8.” she gestured to him and he took out his phone.

After getting each other's Kakao Talk, Jennie continued to bring The8 into their conversation.

“Joshua also plays the guitar. We saw your V-Live. You were great.” The8 smiled.

“Really? Thank you! Oh gosh, I feel so embarrassed, I didn’t think some idols would watch it too.” she responded.

As she continued to wander around, she even met Yeeun from CLC, remembering that Yeeun was eager to meet her. They compared their classes for the upcoming school year and noticed that they’ll be sharing a few classes together. They will definitely have more time to hang out and get to know each other.

Throughout the event, Hayoon would cling to Jennie, hugging her from behind, while she laughed.

“Why are you affectionate, today? You must want something.” she assumed, since last time she wanted some of her smarties.

“No, I’m just happy to see you. I haven’t seen you in a while.” Hayoon replied.

While she was being hugged, Jennie would look around at the crowd and noticed fans wearing USA clothing and waving American flags to represent her. She smiled and pointed them out, feeling even more good about herself. She even spotted Vienna in the crowd and waved, blowing kisses.

“LOVE YOU!” Vienna shouted from her seat. The college student noticed some ARMY trying to get her attention. “I don’t speak Korean but it looks like you want to take a selfie, so sure.” she gestured for them to give her their phones.

Jennie and Jimin migrated to the basketball court to support Suga who was currently warming up for the basketball finals match. Jimin and Jennie were standing where the staff seats were while she took photos on her phone.

“Suga got this in the bag. He should be fine.” Jennie said.

“Yes!” Jimin praised when they watched Suga make a shot in the basket while practicing.

When the game started, Jennie and Jimin became cheerleaders for the Daegu rapper.

“MIN YOONGI~!” Jimin shouted. “Lee Changmin! Jung Jinwoon! Lee Hyun-hyungnim!”

“WOO HOOOOOOOOO! YEAH!” Jennie shouted. “YOU GOT THIS FAM! I SEE YOU BOO, I SEE YOU!”

Suga had put his head down, while his teammates started laughing at their enthusiasm for their groupmate.

Due to their heated cheers, Jimin and Jennie sat on the sidelines to watch the game. Every time Suga’s team made a shot, Jimin and Jennie would jump up from their seats and cheer.

“That’s my Suga!” Jennie shouted proudly, happily applauding. “I am a proud little sister!”

“Yoon! Gi! Yoon! Gi! Yoon! Gi! Yoon! Gi!” Jennie and Jimin chanted as the game progressed.

Yoongi’s team ended up winning and earning gold medals.

Before Jennie knew it, it was time for Volleyball as she stood backstage with the stylists, preparing her outfit. She wore a long sleeve shirt and black shorts with knee pads. When Jennie put on the shorts, she noticed they were a bit too small.

“Ah...I told you to get a bigger size. My ass is bigger than you Korean women. And I have wider hips.” she exclaimed while the stylists giggled.

“We came prepared, don’t worry.”

They brought in a backup pair which fit much better. She checked out her outfit in the mirror and turned around to look at her behind.

“All right, it’s covering up everything. Ah, I’m freaking out.” Jennie rambled.

When she was all dressed up, she walked to the gym, where the volleyball court was already put up. She gathered around the members as they helped prepare her.

“Ready, sweetie?” Jin smiled.

“A little nervous.”

“You’ll be just fine.” Yoongi patted her on the back

Taehyung gave her water while Jimin began massaging her shoulders to help her relax.

“I have the tape.” Namjoon brought up and grabbed one of her hands while Hobi grabbed her other hand to start taping her fingers.

“Remember, be careful, spike some balls and win.” Jungkook reminded her. “Use your golden defense skills.”

“I’ll be sure to do that and more.” she nodded.

Hobi cupped her face, pressing his lips to her forehead. He smiled softly, “You got this, Jennie! Show those ladies why Bangtan is great!”

She nodded and started to grin, high fiving each member before walking up to the court to meet with her teammates.

Representing Team Who’s The Boss, Jennie teamed with Baek A-Yeon, Hyelim & Yubin from Wonder Girls and Min and Suzy from Miss A. Their opponents were from Team the Return of The King which consisted of Hyuna & Gayoon from 4Minute, Yeeun & Seunghee from CLC, and Hayoung and Naeyun from APink.

“Here we are! This is the first time we are having a volleyball event at ISAC. Miss Bangtan will be starting to serve, representing Team Who’s the Boss.” The commentators mentioned over the roaring cheers of the audience.

Jennie exhaled sharply, as her heart raced while having the ball in her hands.

‘I can do this...’ she gave herself words of encouragement.

Just before she could serve, she heard loud screaming.

“JENNNNNNNNNNIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE~! You Got this!! Goooooooo

Jennnnnnnniiiieeeeeeeee~!”

The screaming caught her by surprise and she turned around sharply to see Jimin, J-Hope, and Yoongi hollering for her. Rap Monster had facepalmed, shaking his head while Jin and Jungkook were giggling, clapping to themselves.

Her teammates began giggling at her enthusiastic group members and thought it was cute that they were cheering her on.

Jennie had let out a loud laugh and blew some kisses at Bangtan before turning back to her opponents.

“GO JENNIE!” another scream caught her by surprise but this time it was actually from Hayoon who was standing on the sidelines with the rest of GFriend, cheering her on.

She had shyly looked down after screaming so loudly but Jennie had appreciated her cheers.

‘Okay...let’s do this.’ she began bouncing the volleyball by slapping it with her palm as it hit the ground then back to her palm, numerous times.

The loud sound began to intimidate her opponents as they tried to get ready.

Raising the ball in the air, she jumped up high for a powerful spike. The ball ended up hitting the ground on the other side before the opposing team could hit it and Jennie earned a point for her team. Loud screams from ARMY were heard around the arena while some watched, stunned at the spike.

“YES! That is my child! I raised her! That is my beautiful little girl!” Jin yelled happily.

“WOOOOOOO! ATTA GIRL!” Namjoon shouted.

A proud smile came across Jungkook’s lips as he nodded in approval, applauding her efforts. 'That's my Jennie,' he thought proudly.

“Whaaaaaaa, what a powerful strike from Jennie of BTS! Wow!” the commentators went on.

She was surprised as her teammates went to hug her. “I can’t believe I got that.” she started laughing while Yubin and Hyelim smiled sweetly, patting her on the back.

The game progressed with Bangtan watching closely as they saw the concentration in her eyes. They admired her efforts because she truly had worked hard. Jen soared with her defensive skills as she effortlessly blocked the ball, which caused some of her opponents to get annoyed that they couldn’t get a point.

“Ah, Jennie, stop blocking my spikes!” Hyuna whined.

“Not sorry.” Jennie replied with a grin.

“Are you seeing this!? Are you seeing this!?” Taehyung grabbed onto Jimin and started shaking him. “She keeps blocking the ball! They’re gonna win!”

“WOOOOO! Go, Jen!” Jackson, Bam Bam and Mark became some of her hypemen throughout the match.

Jen’s forearms began to sting from the constant hitting of the ball as the game went on. Her team was well in the lead, thanks to Yubin and Suzy soaring in setting the ball for their teammates to spike, Hyelim being great at passing the ball to her teammates and Baek A-Yeon specializing in spiking with Min. Jennie had made sure to jump up and throw her hands up to block the ball whenever she could with her teammates, which helped tremendously in the game.

"Miss Bangtan's defense is dangerous," the commentators pointed out at how effortless she made blocking for her team.

Once Hayoung served the ball, Hyelim managed to hit the ball, passing it to Suzy who managed to hit the ball over the net. Yeeun dove down, hitting the ball as she connected with the floor while Gayoon passed the ball to Naeyun. Naeyun spiked the ball and Min hit the ball back. Yubin and Baek A-Yeon watched it fly near them and Baek A-Yeon managed to set the ball.

“All yours, Jennie!” she gestured as Miss Bangtan jumped up and spiked the ball across the court.

Once they saw that the ball hit the floor before their opponents could hit it, they happily yelled in excitement.

“YES!” Jen screamed and fist pumped over the loud cheers and screams from the crowd.

She started jumping up and down while her teammates threw themselves at her, and they all fell to the floor while hugging. When they got back on their feet, they celebrated all around the arena while Jen did aerial cartwheels around the arena in celebration.

Bangtan started laughing wholeheartedly that she still had the energy to jump and cartwheel around. They immediately ran down to the volleyball court to celebrate with her. J-Hope picked her up over his shoulders and ran around with Bangtan as they all cheered and celebrated.

"Jennie! Jennie! Jennie!" The boys chanted.

The volleyball team received gold medals for their efforts. When the team was interviewed, Jennie thanked her teammates for working so hard to be victorious and praised them for their hard work. She had a blast with them and hopes volleyball continues to be an event in ISAC.

Meanwhile, Bam Bam had been watching her, smitten by her athleticism in the volleyball game. After some pep talk from Jackson, he finally decided to approach her, bringing a water and towel for her to wipe her sweaty face.

“Have you played volleyball, before?” he asked.

“I kid you not, this was my first actual game.”

“Wow, well you need to teach me some time because you were amazing out there.”

With the Maknae Line, Jimin was on alert when he noticed that Bam Bam was starting to flirt with her as she had covered her mouth while giggling and shyly averting her eyes. Once he nudged Taehyung and Jungkook to point out what was going on, Jungkook shot Bam Bam a sharp stare.

“All right, relax, he still has a dating ban so we should be okay,” Taehyung reassured.

“I hope so,” Jungkook grumbled.

Going backstage, Jen had Namjoon snap a photo of herself with her arms outstretched and a proud smile on her face.

She tweets, ‘I came, I slayed, I conquered. Getting 1st place at ISAC feels so good. We winning! Yay us! #BlackGirlMagic #DidntTripThisTime #JEN’

For the final event, which was the final of Men's 400m relay, Jennie approached Jungkook from behind, placing a hand on his shoulder while smiling. “You ready?”

“I hope so. I really want to win.” he tilted his head to the side.

“You’ll do well. I’ll be waiting for you at the finish line, Golden Maknae,” she reassured him.

Those words motivated him to do well. Running and passing the finish line, to see her there, cheering him on. It brought a smile to his face.

Seventeen, B1A4, Teen Top, and BTS were the teams going up against each other. Jennie stood on the sidelines with GFriend and Yeeun.

“Let’s go Jimin!” Jennie shouted, clapping as her heart began to race.

Once the idols started running, the arena started screaming. Jimin passed his stick to Taehyung as he dashed in his line tailing behind Sandeul from B1A4.

“You got this Tae!” she began jumping up and down with GFriend and Yeeun.

Once Tae passed the stick to Hobi, he ran behind Jinyeong, before passing it to the last runner, which was Jungkook.

Soon as Jungkook zoomed past, everyone, he created a big gap as he aimed for the finish line.

“Yes!” she happily yelled, continuing to watch him run.

She started to migrate near the finish line, waiting for him to finish. ARMY began screaming as soon as Jungkook ran through the finish line.

“The last runner from BTS is so amazing!” the commentators exclaimed while Rapmon and Jimin ran after him.

Jungkook kept running until he saw Jennie happily running towards him. He ran up to her and embraced her, rejoicing in his victory

“Ahhhh I’m so proud of you!” she wrapped her arms around his neck.

They both felt a collision when Jimin, Rapmon, and Tae ran over, joining in the hug and they ended up tumbling onto the floor as the rest of the members joined in, laughing.

Yeeun ended up giggling with GFriend. “Ah, Jungkook and Jennie are so cute~!”

“I know! He looks so happy, too.” Eunha added with a smile.

“I haven’t told Jennie but I really ship her with Jungkook. Don’t you agree?” Hayoon asked.

“I know me too. I bet we’re not the only ones” SinB mentioned as they all agreed.

--------

A few days later, Jennie sat in her little studio at Big Hit with her camera videotaping her live for another V-Live. She sat in her chair, spinning around, while the views continued to multiply. She always had her V-Lives in English, enjoying speaking her primary language. But also tended to accommodate those who wanted to hear some Korean and Japanese. Some even asked for Chinese although she was still learning and needed work on it.

After a few moments and checked out the screen and waved. “What up, what up??” she smiled.

‘BABE!’

‘Hiiiiii’

‘ahhh I love you so much!’

‘Love u JW!’

“Welcome to the Smartie Factory!” she presented. “My own little studio, haha. Just like Suga, J-Hope, and Rapmon. This is where I create my covers and work on my music. Let me give you a tour.” she took the camera and showed off the computer. “So, this is where I have all my music on. I recently transferred my stuff from my laptop. I had this studio for a few months now and finally have the chance to show it off. Remember all the stuffed animals I received on White Day? Ahahaha, they’re all happily here to cheer me on while I work.”

After showing everything, she set it back down on the desk while she sat and faced the camera.

“Sadly, there are no Smarties, right now, I ate them all. I’m so upset, I just had some yesterday. Sometimes I think the guys steal some of my smarties because there is just no way in the world I don’t have any left.”

‘How was ISAC?’

‘I saw videos of you at ISAC! You did great!’

‘You killed it at ISAC!’

“Yes, ISAC was sooooo fun! Mad fun! I had a great time, a better time than last year. At least I didn’t fall! I was so annoyed when they kept bringing up me falling last year. Just let it go, you know?” She continued to read the comments.

“Hahaha you say that some guys were looking at me? Who? Let me know the tea.” she spoke eagerly with amusement. “And yeah, I did meet more people! I finally got to meet some Seventeen members. They’re mad cool. The8 is very kind and cute. He accidentally called me handsome when he meant to say beautiful. I am trying to learn more Chinese so I can speak with him more and also to speak with more of our Chinese ARMY. I want to be able to communicate with you all without much of a language barrier. So please bear with me. I’ll be learning. You know, I get a kick out of my friends getting so confused when I speak English. And even Korean. It’s funny to see their reaction. I feel that way too when I’m not familiar with a language.”

‘The black community is so proud of you’

‘I love your self-determination’

“Well, I’m very proud that I’m representing the black community up here.” she beamed while reading the comments.

‘Did you see a lot of ARMY at ISAC?’

“Yeah, I did see a lot of ARMY at ISAC. I even saw some of you wear some USA merch. That was really cool of you to do that. I ran into some lucky ARMY after the show. Please don’t be so nervous to talk to me. I’m just a normal person just like you, just more known for her talents, that’s all. Like say hey, I’ll say hey back. While on Tumblr, I read that our supporters would probably die or pass out or wouldn’t be able to talk in front of their favorite idols. But I don’t want to miss an opportunity to meet my passionate supporters, so please don’t feel that way. I’m human, let’s have a brief conversation and chill.”

“Oh! For a while now, I was making some of my own music,” she added. “But lately I kind of got a little discouraged. I won’t scrap it, I’ll just leave it on my computer until I find the motivation to work on it again. My goals are to create music for myself one day and release it for you.”

‘Release it!’

‘Please release it!’

‘Don’t tease us like that’

‘Do I need to fly to Korea? Release it!’

She smiled softly. “One day I’ll release it. I want to rerecord everything though. My vocals are improving, so that’s good. I had this notebook and...” she trailed off

She remembered her young self, back in Amity, constantly writing a couple of songs in her notebook. Back when the other members were getting called out to work on their solo songs. Excited and eager she was, patiently waiting for her time to share a song that she wrote. She kept the notebook to herself and didn’t tell anyone.

When Hailey found out, she wanted to use Jen’s written songs for Amity’s next album but Jen refused because she couldn’t just give songs so personal away like that. It caused more of a rift in her relationship with the group.

But before Jen knew it, she had lost the notebook right before she left the group and hadn’t seen it ever since. But then recently, with Amity’s new album out to help promote their world tour, Jen noticed that some of those songs on their album were the songs she had written in her notebook. Crazy enough, some songs were tweaked for a more sexual tone and sadly, defeated the purpose of the written songs that she spent weeks working on because she wasn’t a professional songwriter and just wrote what came to mind.

Jennie shouldn’t have been surprised but soon as she heard those familiar words, she teared up and cried in her room. It discouraged and hurt her that they would do something that. They weren’t going to let her or Angelina live it down that they wanted to leave, huh? She couldn’t do anything about it but move on. She had spoken with Namjoon about it and vented to him. Yoongi was in the studio with them and she remembered the Daegu rapper suggesting to create a diss track. But her rap skills weren’t up to par just yet to go that way. And Amity, well, they just weren’t worth it and Namjoon agreed with her reasons.

Throughout this year, Amity would constantly poke shots at her and Angelina on social media because they’ve been winning awards like the Grammys. But Jennie and Angelina wanted quality music, not quantity.

Jen wanted to sing songs that were meaningful to her. She was glad she was here because Big Hit gave her more musical freedom, unlike SongStress Entertainment. It would be a while before she could begin writing songs again. The wound had not healed yet.

She sighed and shook the negative thoughts out of her head. “I had written a couple of songs but lost the notebook to it,” she responded. “Someone that I thought I could trust, now is singing those songs that I had written. But it’s okay. I hope to make better songs. So, bear with me.”

“Why do you stay in BTS when there’s some so-called “ARMY” that won’t support you but will support the other members?” she read a question. “Well, because I love what I do. And I refuse to let someone have that power over me to stop doing what I want to do in my life. It’s crazy, people always are there to see you fall but don’t say much when they see you do your own thing and succeed. But all these antis and haters, they can take a seat and watch me thrive. I ain’t going nowhere. Oh, so I was on Tumblr, right?”

‘Uh oh...’

‘Oh nooooo’

‘What did you see!?’

‘Hide your fanfics!’

“You guys come up with some interesting fan blog names of me. Let’s see...um...what were they? Oh yeah, Jenniesyummythighs was one. MunchkinsBooty was another.” she laughed. “Uh, IAmJenniesBoobies was another I came across. HireJennieForNike is one I really like, they really should hire me. I’d be a great model for them. I’m so enthusiastic about their product.”

‘Lmaoooooo omg’

‘Hahahahahah’

‘LOL can you blame us?’

“So, ARMY, I have a question to ask you. I’m curious. So whenever I’m on Tumblr, I usually like to check the BTS tag, right? So, um...what is this about a Sub Jennie, I’m seeing lately? Should I be concerned?” she deadpanned, looking serious with a genuine voice.

‘DEAD’

‘OH SHIZ’

‘DELETE YOUR BLOGS’

‘SHE CALLED US OUT’

‘UM’

“Uh huh. That’s what I thought. But who said I was a sub?” she asked curiously but ended up laughing at how she asserted her question, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant literally, who said I was a sub? Where did that even start? Ugh, I think I accidentally just gave you story ideas. Let me be quiet. My statement came out dirtier than I intended.”

‘OMG which one are you?’

“Ah, I should keep it PG. I’m not about that life.”

‘Do you read them?’

“No, I don’t read your fanfics. That seems like taboo territory for me. I don’t want to feel some type of way around anyone you write me with but you do you guys. I like the mood boards that you make and also the fan art. I came across this Hunger Games AU mood board and I thought it was so good. I love the Hunger Games and I enjoy mood boards so make more of those, please.”

“I saved some of my favorites on my phone. I like some of these users on Instagram and follow them. Here." she pointed out some famous K-Pop fanart pages on her phone. “I will try my best to see all your stuff. If you make the hashtag #JWFanart then I’ll always check that tag on Instagram and Tumblr. I’ll like the stuff on Instagram when I can.”

“Oh, and by the way, all of your MLTs of me that I randomly came across, seem to be all wrong," she pointed out. "I remember seeing this one statement that said who is most likely to kiss first. Y’all put me allllll the way at the bottom. I highly recommend that you reconsider that. I'm not afraid to kiss somebody,"

“Another thing, why y’all think I’ll be a crazy ass girlfriend? Like jeez, I’m mad chill, I promise you. Is it because of the I Need U music video with the cheating scene? I was just acting! And who is most likely to cheat? Why did y’all put me at the TOP of the list!? Bruh! Who do you think I am?” she called them out. "Like, no! Absolutely not, you wildin’, don’t play like that!”

She laughed again. “All right, I’m done teasing. Y'all enjoy whatever your imagination takes you,"

With Jungkook, he was in the Big Hit building, in a dance studio with Jimin and Taehyung, watching her V-Live on his phone.

“What kind of girlfriend do I think I’ll be?” he watched her read a comment in Korean. “I feel like I’ll be so cheesy, to be honest. I’d like to do some nice things for my future significant other, to show how much I appreciate them. I’m not sure what yet. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Gosh but the thought of dating someone, I’m like, you really want to put up with me? Me? Of all people?”

“Absolutely.” the Golden Maknae spoke, answering her statement.

“I’m so weird, are you sure?”

“That makes two of us.” he continued.

“I’ll admit, sometimes I have my fears. I try not to overthink it but some days I’m like, man I hope the person I date won’t get bored of me after a while.”

“I’d never get bored of you.” He guaranteed.

“I’m pretty sure a lot of people get those thoughts and overthink things. I feel like I'm a terrible kisser and need to get better at it. I apologize in advance to my future lover.”

“It’s okay,” he murmured under his breath with a smile.

"I guess when I do date, I'll get better at kissing. So I hope my future significant other doesn't mind me kissing them a lot,"

"I'd love that," Jungkook added

Jimin and Taehyung saw Jungkook immersed on his phone with a smitten smile on his face and they decided to see what he was up to.

“I bet he’s watching Jennie’s V-Live.” Taehyung teased.

“I know. Look at him, trying so hard not to smile.” Jimin giggled.

Jungkook glanced up and narrowed his eyes. “Shut up!” He tried to get away from them as they tried to watch what was going on.

Back to Jennie, a comment popped up and she read, “When you start dating, you’ll improve your kissing skills. You can kiss your boyfriend whenever you want.”

Jen let out a soft laugh and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. And for those out there, don’t change yourself for anyone. It’s their loss if they can’t appreciate you for you. There will be someone out there for you, so don’t sweat it if you don’t think you won't find someone special. Be patient. It’ll be worth it.”

‘Can you please sing for us?’

“You want me to sing? It’ll cost you. How much?” She teased and took out her phone. “I’ll put my music on shuffle and see what pops up.”

The first song to come on is a rock song. “I’m a little bit of a rock and metalhead. But let’s choose another song. You know one day I would like to create some type of alternative or rock song while playing my guitar. That would be so cool. Or maybe collab with a rock band, one day. K-Rock or not, it’ll be fun. Maybe, we’ll see what the future holds. I want to be more active with my guitar. I enjoy that style of music because the guitar just sounds so good with it.”

She pressed shuffle again and Love by Keyshia Cole came on. “Ah, this song! How come all these throwbacks are popping up on my phone, huh Spotify? Really?”

She pressed shuffle again and Pon de Replay played. “Ahhhh 2005 Rihanna. This was my song!”

She started moving her shoulders, bumping to the beat. “I love Rihanna’s evolution as an artist. I hope I can have the same type of evolution as her, music and appearance wise. I want to be an amazing artist just like her! The way she thrives in so many genres of music! Nicki Minaj too! So versatile! I hope to be just like them in music. Rock Star is one of my favorites from Rihanna! I want to be a rockstar! Black women in rock are amazing! It'll be a dream to work with them! I don't care what it is. Modeling, music, anything! I adore them!"

She pressed shuffle again as Ridin by Chamillionaire popped on. “Ooh! This song too!”

She started bouncing up and down on her seat to the beat while ARMY started laughing at her enthusiasm. “They see me rollin’, they hatin’, Patrollin’ and tryna catch me ridin’ dirty. Tryna catch me ridin’ dirty. Tryna catch me ridin’ dirty. Tryna catch me ridin’ dirty. Tryna catch me ridin’ dirty. My music’s so loud, I’m swangin’. They hopin’ that they gonna catch me ridin’ dirty. Tryna catch me ridin’ dirty. Tryna catch me ridin’ dirty. Tryna catch me ridin’ dirty. Tryna catch me ridin’ dirty.”

She pressed shuffle again and Right Thurr by Chingy came on. “Oh~ another throwback! I haven’t heard this in a minute! Okay, Okay, let me get back on track and stop fooling around. Let’s find a song to sing for you.”

Unconditional by Kehlani came on.

“Ah, okay, I’ll sing this. I highly recommend her music.” she looked at the camera and laughed shyly “You guys are gonna make me nervous.” she pressed her hands against her cheeks

Back to the Golden Maknae, he couldn’t contain his smile as he watched her sing sweetly to Kehlani’s song.

“Whipped!” Taehyung teased.

“Shut up!” he yelled and smacked him on the arm as he continued to try to watch her V-Live.

With Miss Bangtan, she sang, “Sometimes I come home and I’m sweaty from the day. And my hair’s all in a messy bun cause I had to get it out my face.” She pointed to her messy bun. “And I rather lace my sneakers up cause high heels ain’t my thing.” she showed off her Nike sneakers on her feet as she wiggled her eyebrows goofily which caused some ARMY to type in various comments indicating that they were laughing and amused at her movements.

“And I don’t see a flaw in that, I never want to change. So if you love~ me like you say~! You’ll be a man, grab my hand, take me as I am~!” she got out of her seat to dance and sing around.

I wanna l-l-l-l-l-l-l-love unconditional

‘IM CRYINGGGG’

‘Protect this child’

‘Why is she so adorable!?’

‘Ahhhhh I love this girl!’

After the song, she got back to her seat to check out the comments. “Protect me? Ahahaha! I guess I have some issues, don’t I? All jokes aside, I’ve been so excited to show you how much my singing has improved that I’ve been working on a number of covers to share with you on SoundCloud, probably near the holiday season as an early Christmas gift. Okay, let’s check out what’s next on the shuffle.” she pressed the next button.

Ain’t It Fun by Paramore came on and she started jamming. “Ooh, yes!” she jumped out of her seat to grab one of the biggest teddy bears from her White Day stuffed animal stash, and began to dance with it.

‘And I thought Jungkook was the weirdest, AHAHAH’

‘This is the true personality of Miss Bangtan. LOL'

Back with Jungkook, he started laughing hysterically. This was too adorable.

Instagram Models by Charlie Puth came on next when she changed the song, sitting back down.

“Oh! This song! Make sure y’all stay away from these Instagram models! Men and women! They will get you! Stay away from these people, man! Don’t give them clout, brah! Do not! Give them! CLOUT!” she yelled and spun around in her chair.

As the Maknae Line was leaving the dance studio, they began to walk near Jen’s studio.

“Hey, Jungkookie, you should see Jennie and join her,” Jimin suggested with a mischievous glint.

“Ah, I shouldn’t.” The Golden Maknae shook his head, taking out his earbuds.

“I think you should.” He opened up the door and quickly shoved him in.

“Hyung!” he whispered in a hiss while the door closed silently.

Jennie, unaware that Jungkook was in her studio, continued Lil Wayne’s rap.

“Uh, she just wanted to be popular. Uh, she just want ten thousand followers.” she pulled up her Instagram page, showing it on the screen. Setting her phone down, she shook her head and gestured with her hands, “Lord, she posted, she posted, she posted. They like it, they like it, repost it. She party promoting, she hosting. She posing, legs open, provoking. It got my head smoking. I tried to act like I don’t notice. Emotions, emotions, emotions, Lord!”

She dramatically fell out of her seat as ARMY typed in LOL and laughing emojis while the chorus came back on

‘I am cryinggggg XD’

‘hahahahahahhaha’

‘Omg, she must be on a sugar high from those smarties.’

‘I'm high key happy that she is so comfortable with us like this. She used to be so reserved. She’s so goofy now ahaha’

Meanwhile, Jungkook silently started laughing and wondered when she’d notice him as ARMY noticed him in the background.

She got back to her seat to continue the next verse and she pretended like she was about to cry as she dramatically lip synced, “I had to leave that ho alone and get my mind right. I had to go talk to my friends, I had to find Christ.” She placed a hand over her heart and the other high up in the air, reaching the sky.

Once she saw a comment about Jungkook being in the room, she quickly turned around and widened her eyes.

“How long have you been there!?” she exclaimed while he started cackling. She quickly paused the song while he grabbed a seat to sit next to her.

“Long enough.” he teased.

“Wow. Well, Jungkook make sure you stay away from these Instagram Models, mkay?’

“Duly noted.”

“I’m serious. They nothing but trouble.”

“I’m aware from what I just saw.”

“Hahah.” she turned to the camera. “ARMY! Look who stopped by, the Golden Maknae after he just watched me act goofy. Say hello to ARMY.”

“Hello!” he waved. “ARMY, Jennie is weird, isn’t she?”

“And you’re not?” she turned her head to meet his gaze as a big smile came across his face.

‘OMG, the way he’s looking at her! I ship it!’

‘I love their friendship so much. They are friendship goals.’

‘Aw, the way Jungkook is smiling, I want him to smile like that more often.’

“ARMY! Thank you so much for getting Shawn Mendes’ attention. I’m still stunned he noticed the cover. ARMY, you are truly one of a kind. Thank you so much for this.”

‘You are welcome!’

‘You deserve it!’

‘We ship you and Shawn!’

“You ship us? Hahaha. I do have a little crush on him. Hopefully, I’ll meet him one day and attend one of his concerts.”

“You like him?” Jungkook brought up.

“Not as much as you like IU.” she teased, causing him to smile shyly. “So when are you going to talk to IU?”

“When you are going to talk to Ailee?” he countered

“L-let’s not get into that. I’m not prepared.” She responded, making him chuckle.

‘Who would you date out of all the members of BTS’

“Who would I date? Shawn Mendes,” she answered with a grin

‘Who would you want to collaborate with?’

“Shawn Mendes.”

‘Who would you like to meet?’

“Shawn Mendes.” She answered again, causing Jungkook to poke the inside of his cheek as she continued to talk about Shawn.

‘Hahahah Jungkook looks a little jealous!’ he noticed a fan comment.

Did he really make it that obvious?

He had hoped Jen didn’t see the comment.

He needed to work on having a poker face and keep his jealousy in check.

“I’m gonna go. I’ll see you back at the dorm. I’m going to get something to eat first, did you want anything?” Jungkook got up from his seat.

“Lamb Skewers.”

“I’m glad our minds think alike.” he happily accepted her request and said goodbye to ARMY, exiting the room.

“As the year will be ending soon, I’m hoping that soon we can have some fan meets in America like there are in Korea and Japan. I want to be able to connect one on one with our American supporters just like we do here. So I’ll see what I can do.” She mentioned.

“I have also been writing out some more goals. I want to work more on my breath control when singing. I'm getting better at it. I’m currently working on trying to inhale a good amount of oxygen that flows out my lungs smoothly while I sing my verses to songs with ease. I've getting some vocal lessons to help with that, so I hope you look forward to my improvements as the years go by. I am striving hard to improve and reinvent myself. Especially with my live singing.”

Before she could speak again, she heard a loud yell from outside the room and watched Jimin and Taehyung run into her studio, locking the door.

She sat there, bewildered, and questioned them, “What the heck? Can’t you see I’m trying to talk to ARMY?”

She was cut off by their giggling. “We pranked Suga and Rapmon. We made it seem like we put water on their computers.” Jimin mentioned.

“Oh no, you didn’t.” she looked at them in horror.

‘Oh shitttt, Jen’s face says it all’

‘RIP Jimin and Taehyung’

“Can we please hide in here?” Taehyung asked,

“I hurt my finger, can you get me a band-aid?” Jimin asked.

“I wish I could band-aid your mouth.” Jen retorted, earning giggles from the 95 Liners. She turned to the computer when she heard hard knocking on her door. “U-um, ARMY, our time will be cut short. I need to fix the mess that these two goofballs created. Thanks for hanging out with me today. Love you, bye!” she turned off the V-Live and got up from her seat.

She smacked Jimin and Tae upside their heads, causing them to yelp.

"That's for bringing the drama to my studio!" she scolded.

“Smartie!” Yoongi yelled on the other side of the door.

“Yeah!?” She called out loudly.

“I know they’re in there! Open the door! Why is it locked!?”

“Because I was having a VLive with ARMY!”

“Bullshit, where are those two!? I'm trying to work on this damn album, and they spilled water on my fucking computer!“

Jennie rubbed her temples while Jimin and Tae panicked, and scrambled around to find hiding spots.

Yoongi was not in a pleasant mood.

“SMARTIE!” he banged on the door, causing her to flinch.

“Look what you got me into!” She whispered harshly to them.

Somehow, Namjoon managed to work on opening up her door, which caused Jennie to push the door shut with Taehyung and Jimin. Loud screams and curses were heard as the rappers tried to push the door open after they unlocked it.

“Not the door! NOT THE DOOR! My door!” she yelled when Namjoon accidentally dented her door, barging in to go after the poor 95 Liners. “Take this outside! Take this outside, right now! I just cleaned this studio up!”

#bts 8th member #jungkook x oc #bangtan boys #jungkook fanfic #jungkook #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagine #bts scenarios #bts imagine #bts fanfiction #jungkook x black oc #bts x black girl #kpop black oc #kpop oc #kpop fluff #kpop scenarios #bts fluff

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kinocomix · 2 months

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devlog 17: things my therapist told me

the script for TSTW is still coming along. the first couple of scenes are the most sensitive ones because they effectively have to hook the reader when little has happened in the story, so I can confidently say that those 8 scenes have been polished enough that I don’t have to worry about them anymore. Now, the main plot begins.

here’s the soundtrack for the rest of this devlog:

youtube

I don’t think there could ever be a fully professional way to talk about the things that heavily affected you as a kid. As an adult, I had to wrestle with the fact that there’s never really a good time to talk about feelings and be happy. There’s always someone in the world suffering more than you, someone dying and something terrible happening to the children of a country being genocided by zionism (free palestine).

Today I’m going to talk about the themes at play in “The criminal mastermind’s pocket diary”, the project I’m working on while writing the script for my other comic, which is coming along well. While a lot of what I’m going to talk about will pale in comparison to the suffering of others in the world, I find it valuable to remember that in order to fight the dragons that plague the world we must confront and quell the evil within each and every one of us.

With that in mind, one thing I haven’t mentioned about the central point of killouette is that in more than one way, her experience is very much my own. Growing up in Beyrouth it seemed like there was one of three options: you’re either born with money in which case your safety can be bought via being in safer areas and schools, or you’re in a middle/lower class area where you’re stuck with the other two choices. One is to pass the time on the street and acquire the culture thereof, the other is to be an indoor kid. My parents, who had good intentions, decided that the best course of action to not have me become a thug was to never let me leave the house except to go to school or family outings. Combine that with a poor financial situation and a tiny house, it meant that growing up I didn’t have the internet, and could rarely take up the space required to do activities. Doing something as simple as reading a book was complicated because most of our books were stored in the sofas which were designed to maximize what we could do in our tiny house. It doesn’t end there, you see my mother has always been a clean freak, so she valued tidiness over most other things. Now imagine all that for a second. An understimulated child, often told they’re “gifted” who could never explore the world or do many things inside either. you can see how that’s a recipe for someone with the personality of a blank sheet of printer paper.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. I still had some fun because I, in addition to being cursed with the gifted label, had an overactive imagination. So the underside of beds became forts, and broken appliances became experiments. The few friends I had at school became a window into the outside… I eventually became a normal human being but there’s something about that entire period in my life that made me feel very bitter towards my parents. Why were you throwing your anxieties onto me? Why couldn’t I just join the scouts? Why couldn’t I stay over at a friend’s house for longer than two hours? Looking back at all of that having gone to therapy I’m thankful for it. I don’t think I would have fallen madly in love with the craft of comics had it not been for me overcompensating for all those missed years. Part of me really wants to heal that inner kid in my head who still wishes for some adventure though. That’s killouette.

Killouette’s parents are much like mine. Not evil, just a little overprotective. Projecting just enough that it’ll seep into killouette’s behavior as an adult. But now, as a kid, I’m giving her something that I wished I had when I was a child: privacy and space. Killouette has her own room and her parents don’t feel the need to constantly police her as long as she’s in there. That might not seem like much, but I think that would be enough for a smart kid to do some pretty amazing things.

you may have also noticed that Killouette doesn’t have any noteworthy character flaws, and it should be obvious at this point that the goal of me making this is in part to empower her. With that being said I am fully aware that while my experience is relatively common, it’s far from universal. This is why the cast is so varied: each child represents to some extent a different way of growing up. I can’t do them all sadly, but I think the grounds will be covered pretty well with what we have.

there’s also other kids to consider, so I have some things I want to explore with them as well. I don’t want to spoil too much but here’s a quick fire round: Talbas has anger issues because of neglect and video games. bata has well meaning parents but the constant taunting and threats of being sent to far away places cause anxiety in the way she acts. motsik has the most ass, dogshit parents. 0/10 not having a good time. abuse central, destination anywhere else. falefil is spoiled and his parents haven’t taught him certain things about respect and money. that tends to influence his behavior. zmik is the closest to killouette, except he is a version of her closer to me allowed to leave the house. he’s included in the cast partially as a way for me to extent empathy to a younger me, but also for anyone who might be going through something similar to what i did as a kid. lastly there’s claude. claude is for all intents and purposes, if we were to put her in a realistic framework, some weird mish mash of immigrant and orphan child genius. i imagine claude would experience some alienation from some people, but i’m not worried about the story getting sidetracked since her friends have her back and the adults in the story are losers anyways.

On a more general note, I’ve been noticing how my approach to writing has been evolving to suit whatever project I'm currently working on. It was weird at first cause I thought a writing technique is something that you’re just stuck with. With prior comics for example the main concern was always “how do I portray what’s happening in the most raw way possible” whereas with TSTW it’s more “let’s try to be more efficient with the framing of the ideas, as long as it feels right”. With Killouette, it’s not about showing things in the most realistic way possible because if that was the case, for starters this amount of genius kids would not be two buildings apart in some suburb in beyrouth and killouette would not be able to hide the amount of things she does. but that’s not the point. a bunch of what happens in the story could happen with real kids in real life, and the point of the book is to capture a young sense of ambition and wonder. the type of mischief that leaves you laughing and being impressed instead of wondering what’s happening in the world. I’m not here to tell you about kids committing actual awful actions, I'm here to show you kids having a good time despite it all. that nothing can stop life and the desire for it.

If the kids of Palestine can still find it in them to laugh and have fun, the least I can do is have some imaginary abused kids triumph over their circumstances.

next week, we’ll be improvising some doodads and seeing how we can recycle previous unused work.

devlog updates on Tuesdays.

#comic #webcomic #kinocomix #devlog #journal comic #Youtube

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tameodesza · 1 year

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💍 Househusband AU: Headcanon 1

masterlist

a/n: Sadly, school, work, and moving has taken over my life. I’m still working on fics with whatever free time I have, but in the meantime, here’s some HC ideas I’ve been collecting (also, I need to clear up some space in my notes, 🫣)

What do they like most about each other?

💍Shawn really appreciates Bret’s wisdom and patience with him. Admittedly so, he’s a bit of a himbo. Don’t get him wrong. He’s a smart guy, but there are moments where he questions how he even graduated college. But he loves that Bret doesn’t get annoyed with him or make fun of him. Just guides him or explains the situation to Shawn again with more clarity, such as:

“No, Shawn. You should not pour hot water on the windshield just because you don’t want to wait for it to defrost”

“Yes, Shawn. The car battery will keep dying if you keep leaving the lights on”

Or Bret’s favorite silly moment: “Bret, I can’t find my glasses!” “Shawn, it’s on top of your head” “….oh….well, how’d they get there?!”

💍Aside from Shawn’s beauty, Bret loves Shawn’s humor. Shawn’s pretty goofy, more so when he’s purposefully trying to make Bret laugh after a particularly bad day. Bret thinks he’s one of the funniest people he knows, aside from Owen of course.

What do they like the least about each other?

💍This was kind of hinted at in my last post, but Bret strongly dislikes Shawn’s drinking habits. It’s one of the reasons why he doesn’t like being gone too long from home. He sometimes asks his parents or one of his siblings to swing by the house to make sure Shawn’s not indulging too heavily without him there.

💍Shawn doesn’t think it’s a big deal. He knows his limits, but Bret’s seen him inebriated more times than he’d like. It’s one of many reason why Bret dislikes Shawn’s friends. He thinks they are enablers and a bad influence on Shawn

💍Bret also hate’s when Shawn turns down their plans so he can go hang out with Hunter, which is ironic given the amount of times Shawn’s chosen Bret over Hunter, but I digress

💍Shawn hates how stubborn Bret could be sometimes. He knew he could be bratty and stubborn himself, but Bret had him beat by a longshot, oftentimes not budging or not willing to compromise on something he feels strongly about

Who’s the better cook?

💍Shawn, hands down. He wasn’t much of a home cook when he lived in Texas. However, since marrying Bret and having more free time on his hands, he tests out a lot of different recipes with Bret in mind, hoping he can impress the older man with his mad cooking skills. He’s gotten so good over the years that he was sure he could give Julia Child a run for her money.

💍Bret would love to cook more, but he’s on the road too often to hone in on that skill. And Shawn usually kicks him out the kitchen anyway, so he doesn’t have many opportunities to learn.

💍To Bret’s credit, he knows how to make a mean turkey sandwich, and he’s really good at grilling meat (mainly because the grill is doing much of the cooking for him). Anything beyond that and scrambled eggs is beyond him

Common interests?

💍Gardening. It’s one of many random hobbies Shawn picked up while being home alone

💍After being on the road for a couple of months, Bret was surprised to come home and find bundles of daisies and tulips growing in the backyard.

💍During his short vacation from being on the road, he became Shawn’s little helper, carrying the fertilizer, handing Shawn gardening tools, helping Shawn pull up dead weeds. Anything Shawn needed

💍Then it just became something they did together all the time, sometimes Bret seeming more excited about the progress of their flower garden than Shawn

Bonding activities?

💍Aside from gardening, their favorite bonding activity consists of Bret testing out ring moves on Shawn

💍Although Shawn hadn’t wrestled in a while, last time being years ago with Hunter, he still was comfortable getting thrown around, though Bret tried his best not to be too rough because he didn’t want to hurt him

💍That was the least of Shawn’s concern, the blond man often finding himself getting turned on in the midst of the action

💍His favorite move was being in a headlock. He doesn’t know why, but it was something about being trapped between Bret’s chest and biceps that really did it for him 🥵

💍And yes, Bret thought he was weird for that, but Bret still loved him nonetheless

Random Character Quirks

💍Shawn is an avid gum chewer. It’s a nervous habit he picked up from college to help calm his nerves and it just kind of stuck. Bret noticed it a couple weeks into dating, but he doesn’t mind because it makes kissing Shawn all the better

💍Surprising to most, Shawn is actually a neat freak. He always notices if something is out of place. He’s constantly sprucing up the house – sweeping, mopping, dusting, rearranging furniture – especially when Bret’s away. Bret’s learned the hard way that its better to ask Shawn before he decides to move anything in the house

💍Shawn loves booping Bret’s nose because he thinks it’s cute. He does it randomly and Bret never sees it coming, but it never fails to put a smile on his face

💍Bret’s an avid note taker. More often than not, he carries a mini notepad or sticky note and pen, jotting down any ideas that come to mind. It’s more of a stream of consciousness type thing. Whether he’s at the grocery store and gets an idea for a wrestling angle or he’s traveling on the road and sees something he thinks Shawn may like, he’ll quickly make a note of it, afraid he’ll forget something important.

💍Shawn hates coffee with a passion. He doesn’t understand the appeal Bret sees in it. He’s ranted to Bret plenty of times that it tastes like poison, to which Bret brings up a good point that maybe it’s because Shawn didn’t use enough sugar. “Then it’ll taste like sweet poison!” was Shawn’s reply.

💍Shawn loves debating Bret on his “controversial” food takes:

Poutine’s not that great? Shawn thought it was a national treasure and was jealous it wasn’t popular in the States. Bret should get his citizenship revoked for thinking otherwise.

Turkey bacon’s better than pork? Blasphemy.

Oatmeal raisin cookies are better than chocolate chip? Get out.

Pouring milk before cereal? Are you ok?!

💍Shawn’s not that great of a driver. He’s not awful, but his road rage blinds his ability to make wise decisions. Bret’s had to clutch the armrest for dear life more than a few times due to Shawn’s speeding. Owen downright refuses to carpool if Shawn’s driving. The final straw was when Shawn nearly went on a high-speed chase after some guy who cut them off, threatening to track the man down, jump out the car, and I quote “give him a real country ass whoopin’.” For everyone’s sanity, and the safety of his fellow Canadians, Bret usually drives whenever he’s home or if Shawn’s traveling with him between house shows on the road

💍They both truly changed each other for the better. Shawn helped Bret come out of his shell, often encouraging the older man to engage in his goofy antics, Bret doing so willingly knowing he wouldn’t be judged for Shawn. If anything, the blond would judge Bret for not engaging in his crazy antics. Shawn attributes much of his growth and maturity as a person to Bret. Throughout his time of dating and being married to Bret, Shawn’s become more level headed, patient, less reckless, and thinks things through before he acts (except when it comes to his driving of course lol)

Bonus!

💍Bret refuses to attend another kliq Christmas party after seeing Hunter in a g-string. He didn’t mind seeing Shawn in the same getup of course. In fact, Bret and Shawn had to leave the party early that night 😏.

💍Bret also had the dishonor of taking a picture of both Shawn and Hunter in said g-string, which Shawn thought was hilarious

#divider cr: @saradika #househusband!au #headcanon #shawn michaels #bret hart #hartbreak #bret hart x shawn michaels #wwf #alternate universe

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thecolorblockcurator · 5 months

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I’ve been kinda struggling with one of my housemates. When they’re in a bad mood, sometimes they make snide comments that feel like I’m their nearest punching bag. I know part of it is that I’m more privileged than them in general, like they’re brown, trans, and grew up poor, and in white, cis, and grew up middle class. We’re really close friends actually but it feels like they’re more likely to interpret things I say or do with bad faith if they’re already irritated.

Last night we were talking about work because they’ve been struggling with a new job that’s not been going well and they’re planning to quit soon and hopefully find something better. My job is fairly tolerable and stable sometimes with lots of down time depending on the season. They got really mopey and quiet and said “yeah you’re lucky to have that job. You’re lucky on a LOT of things…”

I didn’t know how to respond of course, because I know it’s coming from a place of frustration and discontent with their life and current work situation. But it really made me feel like shit. Not to mention I had to deal with a good amount of bullshit before I managed to get my current job.

I’d like to talk to them about how these kinds of backhanded comments make me feel so unwanted and small but I’m not the best at communicating, and I worry that they’ll write me off as an ignorant whites woman who doesn’t know how good I really have it.

Any advice? It really bothers me and I lose sleep over these kinds of comments

Yeah that's passive aggressive. and a bit manipulative - you're allowed to be happy. I actually know someone who does something similar. & I've slowly stopped talking to them- because it's not healthy.

Three potential things I can see. & It depends on what you're comfortable with.

I don't think confrontation is right here- Personally. I think they aren't ready to hear it. all they will hear is an attack. but you can diffuse those moments. by saying something like- (hey that's not nice- that's not cool. Or even like putting it back to them with something like - you've got a lot to be lucky for too)

distance- If they are acting like this more and more - setting some boundaries until they're in a place where they can be kind is a good idea. You don't have to tell them your boundaries - your actions will show them. So like if you're hanging out & they start being passive aggressive trying to get you to feel guilty- find a reason to end the hang out time. You've to call someone, you have to pick something up. And just keep doing that- they might get the hint, and you won't be putting yourself in that situation to be hurt over and over.

So I've used this with my abusive parents (and I don't want this to sound toxic positivity because it's not it's very active and very conscious, very trauma informed?) - but look into karma. not in the bad things happen to bad people way. But karma as the way that when you have interactions with people who you know they are struggling and hurting, as a chance for you to act as your highest self (that might sound a bit too spiritual but I can't think of another way to word it) So You're acting in a way that puts good into the world. That doesn't mean let them walk over you- or continue to abuse or manipulate or hut you. It means to take some time- think about your values really define what they are. and know that whatever comes out of these conversations you're proud of what you put out there. It's such a complex, and nuanced idea so I'm sorry If it's coming off like very black and white. But it's definitely helpful in those moments where there is no easy solution. & hopefully will help you feel like you don't have to wrestle with it every night because you know you're actions are reflecting your values.

#wes

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astridhobbit · 11 months

Text

Hm okay so, I’m thinking about creativity and self expression and the difference between visual arts and crafty projects.

And like, one thing I’m thinking about is how much I love playing a garages song on guitar, how much I loved learning piano versions of my favorite songs, and how much I DO NOT WANT to make my own songs.

Or how much I enjoy crocheting patterns that other people have made, or even making slight design tweaks to make them better suited for me personally, and how much I NEVER EVER want to try to design my own pattern.

Or how the only pieces of writing I have managed to finish have been fanfic, despite starting original stories over and over and over again.

And like, okay, it could be a skill issue, certainly I learn really well by copying someone else’s work and later making changes,

BUT ALSO

I think it might be The Problem With Choices.

I have to make ten bafillion choices during a day. What to eat, what to feed my kids, what to wear, how to spend my time, when I can do this project or that activity, what to do next, what to do after that, what to do after that. I get worn down by all those choices, to the point that I have taken steps to reduce my available choices a great deal. (Fewer clothes, and most of those clothes in the same style, has helped a lot.)

And creative art is ENTIRELY choices. What word goes next, what scene goes next, how best to achieve this look or that feeling or whatEVer. And the varieties are infinite! Like, okay, narrow it down to a single medium, I won’t be making a playful tune out of cotton yarn or whatever, but even within a single medium, there is a vast, nigh-infinite array of choices to make.

And sometimes, I just get overwhelmed and exhausted.

Fanfic is a way of reducing choices. I don’t have to make choices about the characters or the setting, I can just make choices about the story itself. Following someone’s pattern reduces choices. I pick colors and material, and I don’t have to make up the whole dang thing. Playing a song someone else has written reduces choices. I’ve modified a few songs to work better for my instrument and my voice, but I’m not changing the lyrics or, lord above, making a whole new tune.

And to be clear, all means of creating, whether recreating based on a pattern or writing in OCs into an established world or creating something wholly new, all are good and wonderful and are all still about making something new that did not exist before. And that is great! None of these are better or worse than any other!

I’m just trying to wrestle with why I find some kinds of making soothing and restorative and others exhausting.

#thinking about art #thinking about creativity #thinking about the exhaustion of choices #why can i make 68 little crochet legs for a giant millipede #but can’t get past the first three chapters of any original story i write #i know they’re not the same thing #but also #choices

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bonvoyagenoona · 1 year

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Hi been a while since I’ve been here but umm I need advice lol. So I’ve been talking to this guy for a while now, we would text and call pretty much everyday been vulnerable with each other something he encouraged me to do considering I’m not the type to talk abt her feelings I’m more of an avoidant. Anyways, he just randomly stopped talking to me 2 days ago and no he’s not busy or smthg bc I see him answering other peoples comments on another app meanwhile my text is sitting there. So I decided to unfriend him. I know very mature. But I still kind of wanted him to reach out to me bc I thought he at least cared about me enough to want an explanation, but he didn’t. And now I’m tempted to send him a text just to tell him how much of an asshole he is for pretending to care about my feelings just for him to turn around and do exactly what I told him would hurt me. But idk if that’s the right move. What do you think?

Also sorry about the lack of punctuation I’m writing this while crying so I couldn’t care less but I hope it’s understandable lol<3

Aw friend. I'm sorry that it's been a while since I've gotten to chat here, and chat with you! I'm still working my way back to our beautiful purple bubble here, and I really want to get to all my asks, but I wanted to take a bit of time to respond to this particular one to share that, hey! Hi! You're not alone! These things are always interesting and challenging. And thanks for sharing with me — it made me feel a little less alone as well!

First of all, I'm hoping you're taking some time to breathe, feel, and then, self-care. Drink some water. Eat well — whether that means something healthy or yummy or comforting. Sleep. Channel your emotions through creative outlets, like music or art, or writing, even journaling!

And, most of all, be kind to yourself.

We've all been there, we will all continue to find ourselves there in the future from time to time, and I am also still figuring out what my best communication styles with people are. I'm thinking of that clip of Jungkook and Kang Ho Dong talking about being flexible with people and for yourself, like in wrestling:

Source: JTBC Entertainment

There is no one right way to act in a situation. Even if you feel you are experiencing the same situation over and over again, as if it were a pattern, there's no escape hatch or solution. You will have these experiences, and you will take them as they come. You will learn from them and figure out what the best course of action is for you, at that time, with that person. You will continue to be the strong, beautiful person that you are.

So be kind to yourself. Focus on yourself. Really try to understand where your very valid feelings are coming from. And then you can decide.

Is it worth it to you to spend energy to say your piece to this person? Why do you want them to know how you feel? Does it bring you comfort or closure in some way?

Is it worth it to you to conserve energy and move on? What do you lose if you cut off contact? What do you gain? Where can you spend that energy instead?

Do you want to sit with it for a bit? Not react at all? Wait it out and see, especially if you're still feeling activated emotionally?

My close group of friends helped me through a recent situation like this, and for the person I was going through the situation with, I happened to decide that it was worth keeping the connection, while revisiting how much energy I was putting into the connection. I had to take accountability for my expectations out of the situation, too. And I am planning to say my piece when the time is right, trusting that I feel clear-headed about the outcome, no matter what it is.

But that doesn't mean that if I am faced with a similar situation that I will take the same course of action. Lol like I always say, it's always about context!

So, in words paid forward from those who showed me how to be wise and brave, I am offering this: take the focus off of this person, and focus on you. What do you want to say or not say, for you? What do you want to do or not do, for you? Release what you cannot control, and temper your expectations of others. Focus on what course of action will give you peace, regardless of how others react. And then you'll know the answer.

You'll always know the answer, because you are the expert on your life.

And be patient and kind to yourself if you need a bit of time to share it, or if those answers change with time.

The world is so excited to have your amazing energy in it, and there will be people along the way who are ready to receive it, and people who just aren't, and both are perfectly fine. How amazing it is, then, when you find people who are ready and open.

I think you've found one here! (It's me, I'm one, I celebrate this little gift of your energy in this ask!)

So again, thanks for sharing, take care, and sending you so many warm fuzzies and smiles. You've got this!

WE'VE got this!

#asks #your asks #anon #all the smiles and support in the world!!!!#💜

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purplesurveys · 2 years

Text

1469

survey by lovelypursuit

Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? I don’t think I can say that I do. Oatmeal is fine with me but I would most definitely remove every single piece of raisin from my cookies.

Which smells better - Pez or Play-Doh? I like the smell of Play-Doh and have never smelled the former, so the former wins by default.

Does your hair reach your boobs? Yeah it already does. I don’t feel like getting a trim anytime soon though, I like its current length just fine.

When are you having spring break? We don’t have that.

And how will you be spending that time? Still can’t answer that. The only breaks I get in a year are Holy Week and Christmas breaks, and during those times I usually like to stay at home and just spend the time recharging. I’ll occasionally go out of town though.

Have you ever had a crush on celebrity no one knew about? CM Punk fits this question best, even though he’s not technically a celebrity. I had such (and honestly, still do) a huge crush on the dude which I never thought was possible in the arena of pro wrestling lol.

Do you have a Roku? I have a really vague memory/idea of what this is, but I can’t seem to remember right now. Anyway, we never did and I don’t think it was ever available here.

What's something that fills you with anxiety? Work, unfortunately. Dealing with clients has to be the most anxiety-inducing aspect of it, but I think I can say I still like what I do PR-wise - especially the times where I get to write - and I still find fulfillment in what I do.

Do you like Anthony Green or Jack White? Jack White’s name kind of rings a bell but ultimately idk who either is, so I don’t have a preference.

Do you think you're attractive? I think I’m just fine. I don’t hype myself up too much but I’m also not as insecure about my looks as I used to be years ago.

Do you drink coffee on a daily basis? Yeah - you got it right with daily pretty much.

Do you have strict parents or are they more chill? They were strict when I was younger, like in never letting me go to sleepovers until I was in high school, not letting me on social media...but I mean, I’m in my mid-20s and have been earning my own money. I’d have an issue with them if they would continue to be as strict with me as they used to be.

At what age did you move out of your parents? (or what age will you?) I haven’t moved out yet and am not really in a rush; where I live, the pressure to move out isn’t super felt and children really do take their time in continuing to live with their families. I hope to have my own place by the time I’m in my late-20s, at least.

What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? I don’t judge people based on this. Again, it’s a culture thing. The only time I’d think if someone is “too old” is if they’re like in their 30s and is jobless and doesn’t do anything to help around in the house.

Do you think Clinton Kelly looks like a less scruffy Bradley Cooper? I don’t know who the former is.

Do you always download the free songs on iTunes? I don’t remember what those songs might have been anymore, but I don’t think I ever downloaded them anyway because for the most part I didn’t know who the artists were.

Have you ever loved a boy who was dating some other girl? I’ve never had feelings for a guy, period.

Is your hair all the same color? Not so much currently. My roots are growing fast as all hell, so I’ve got like two or three inches of black hair and the rest is still in its dyed light brown shade.

Have you ever tie dyed anything? I have in the past. It was an activity we had to do for school in like Grade 6.

Do you know anyone who says 'wow' a lot? Hahahaha ME. It’s a common expression I use.

Have you ever watched Bob's Burgers? I haven’t.

How many cardigans do you own? I don’t have any.

Denim, leather or varsity jacket? Denim.

Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? I will firmly say no to this, but I did get caught once in a situation that involved the passing of notes. Basically this girl in my class needed a dictionary to do her homework for English class, and I guess she saw that I had a copy of my own dictionary under my seat??? so she intended to pass a note to ask for it. She was doing this during our history period - already a big no-no - so anyway my seatmate eventually handed it to me, and not knowing yet what the nature of the paper was about, I unwittingly opened the note. My teacher happened to see it, paused the class to stare daggers at me and told me to keep the note away, soooooo yep that was pretty fucking annoying to get caught up in that whole mess just because someone wasn’t doing her fucking homework.

What annoyed me even more is that I know that teacher never liked me so it really felt like that public scolding was just an excuse to finally have something to be pissed at me for.

Do you know anyone who is afraid of horses? I don’t think so. There might be people I know who are, but I wouldn’t know who.

What's your favorite perfume that you own? Heat Rush.

Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? No, I never do that.

How did you spend Valentine's Day? That was a weekday if I remember correctly, so I was just at work and it was just an ordinary day for me.

Do you get President's Day off at your school? No, we don’t have that holiday(?) here. Even if we did, I would never recognize it. Presidents aren’t to be celebrated lmao, especially the one we are going to be having by next month.

What would you do if an ex-boyfriend started using one of your besties? I think Angela is smart enough to know if she is being used so I would let her handle it and stand up for herself.

Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? I mean, I hate how hot it can get here (I live in a tropical climate) but I wouldn’t give it all up just to go to the other extreme.

What is the last thing you took that wasn't yours? My sister’s black polo shirt which I’ve since adopted, hahaha.

Do you have an older brother? Not biologically but we have a cousin who pretty much feels like one since we grew up together.

What do you do when someone overweight complains about being overweight? I’ve never been put in this situation and don’t think it’s also my place to like give advice or whatever so I imagine I would mainly listen and let them rant.

Is there any Irish, Scottish, or Danish in your heritage? No, not at all. But then again, who knows – people always get surprised from the results of their DNA kits hahaha so I could always turn out to unexpectedly have some European blood in me. But I highly highly doubt that.

Do you find Asians attractive? Uh sure, whatever hahaha.

Is it racist to ask if a specific race is attractive or not to someone? Depends on the context or if it’s meant as a backhanded compliment.

Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No.

Have you ever been to jail? No.

Keep Calm and Carry On or Screw Calm and Get Angry? I tend to have a short temper so it’s the latter for me, lol.

Do you think Urban Outfitters is overpriced? Idk, I’ve never been to one.

Are your collarbones prominent? They are, yeah. It’s one of my favorite features.

Have you heard about the Alyssa Bustamante case? I haven’t but wow that’s a very Filipino sounding name lol. That’s my only takeaway from this question.

Have you ever in your life worn overalls? Yeah. I have photos as a baby where I had them on.

How did you react when you heard Whitney Houston had died? I was shocked and sad but I wasn’t really able to share those feelings with anyone because no kid in school had really been familiar with who she was, and I only knew her because I was into Beyoncé at the time and knew she had been one of her influencers and would mention Whitney in literally every interview lol. So I got pretty upset, but I wasn’t a major fan or anything like that.

Do you love yourself? Yes.

What is the brand of desktop/laptop you're on right now? Apple.

Are there any words you don't usually pronounce correctly? No. I’m conscious when it comes to mispronouncing so I usually look the word up or ask around.

Do you think Helena Bonham Carter is attractive? Sure.

Would you rather listen to Dolly Parton or Dusty Springfield? Dolly largely because I don’t know who the other one is.

Are you watching The Walking Dead this season? Nah - they’re on their final season this year, right? I stopped watching when they killed off one of my favorite characters in like season 7 or whenever that was. He was one of the last original cast members so when they got rid of him my interest in the show gradually waned.

What TV shows do you keep up with? I haven’t been watching any series lately, besides the K-drama Happiness which I finished in two days while I was dealing with post-election depression lol. I have a couple of series on my radar that I want to start on though, which are Sh**ting Stars and Twenty-Five Twenty-One.

Are you a light sleeper? I can be. If I have something going on the very next day, like a flight or a big event, I’m on edge even while sleeping hahaha.

Have you ever forgiven a cheater? I’ve never been cheated on and am honestly not sure how I’d handle it. I think it would depend on the situation but I hope to god I would just walk away.

Would you consider cuddling cheating? Yeah.

What does the purse/bag you last used look like? It’s a pink handbag that has this cute image of a flower on the lower right side.

Would you wear heeled/wedged oxfords? Not my style; I’ll have to pass on those.

Do you own a blazer? Yeah I have a couple of them in case I need to wear something formal for work.

Gunmetal, cooper, silver, or gold? Silver.

When's the last time it snowed where you live? Never.

Can you make a clover with your tongue? Nope.

What's your favorite coffee brand/flavor? Caramel or hazelnut.

Have you ever made out with a firecrotch? With a...what?

Do you listen to The Story So Far or Balance and Composure? No for both.

Is your belly button pierced? It isn’t.

#survey #surveys

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spectoris · 2 years

Text

unmasked

summary: the night your best friend comes to you for help is the night that changes both of your lives

pairing: adrian chase x gn!reader

genre: semi-angst to fluff, friends to lovers

warnings: swearing, canon typical violence, mentions of blood and wounds

word count: 1.4k

a/n: i highkey don’t like this but i’m posting it anyway yolo

It was nearly three in the morning when a figure stumbled past your apartment window. You weren’t typically awake at this hour, but work demanded a new report by eight o’clock, and you were only two thirds done. So, when you saw the shadow through your curtains, you prayed it was a trick of your tired mind. That was, until, a heavy thump landed against your front door, followed by groaning and a weak knock. Whoever was on the other side wasn’t making an active effort to get in. But then you caught wind of your name—faint, but audible, and in a familiar voice—and you threw the door open without a second thought.

“Holy fuck!”

If you hadn’t held your arms out, Adrian would’ve toppled over you. Dressed in only socks, boxers, and a t-shirt, you ushered him into your apartment onto your couch. Something warm and wet coated your hands. You absentmindedly brushed them across your sleep shirt, eyes wide when you spotted the red streaks on the fabric. You looked down at Adrian. A portion of his shirt was stained with blood, which he tried to cover with his hand. A good look at his face revealed numerous cuts and fresh bruises blossoming across his blanched skin.

“Oh my god, Adrian, what happened?”

“Hey,” he murmured, slumped on your couch. “S’fine. Just a little boo boo.”

“Fuck, let me look.”

His limp hand fell off his side easily, allowing you to raise his shirt. Beneath the blood that continued to dribble with each cough he gave was a cut. You weren’t sure how deep it was, but it wasn’t looking pretty. His breathing was getting shallower.

“Jesus, Adrian, you need to go to the hospital!”

“No.” The hand on your wrist was firm, gripping tight enough so you couldn’t move, but not to the point it hurt. “No cops. No hospitals.”

“Are you in trouble?” You rushed to the bathroom for your first-aid kit, throwing questions over your shoulder. “Is there someone out there looking for you? Because I’m not the best fighter, so I can’t really help you.”

Kneeling by his side, you began cleaning his wound, brows furrowed each time he winced and hissed at the pain. This wasn’t from a fall or an accident. Adrian wasn’t that much of a klutz, and despite what everyone thought, he wasn’t utterly stupid. What could’ve possibly led to this?

Most of the blood had been mopped up. The wound was clearer now; it didn’t seem too threatening, nothing a few stitches couldn’t fix. Still, your worry remained. Of course it would. You hadn’t known Adrian for that long, only a year or less, but there was a solace you sought within each other. Sure, he was ditzy sometimes, but he was fun and easygoing. There weren’t many out there you felt connected to, people whom you felt truly saw you, as cliche as it sounded. Adrian knew just the right things to say (okay, not all the time; they were wildly inappropriate most of the time). He could make you smile in the most trying of times, make you feel less shitty about your unamusing life. He was your best friend.

“Is this okay?” You cleaned the rest of the wound with an alcohol pad. Adrian’s hand reached for yours, squeezing tight as it stung his skin.

“I’m okay,” he sighed. His voice sounded lighter, inching back to his typical chipper self. Your shoulders lost some of their tension.

“So…are you going to tell me what happened?”

You tried your best to lighten the atmosphere, cracking a small smile and wiggling your finger in his face. His stayed stoic aside from his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He was wrestling himself over something, eyes staring through your door which remained ajar.

“I-If I do,” Adrian whispered. “Do you promise not to tell anyone? And I mean it—not a single person.”

“Of course.”

“Look outside.”

There was nothing in sight besides the parking lot and overhead lights. Then it was there, a heap of black and blue beside your door. In the middle, a glimpse of red. Gingerly, you bent down to pick it up, taking a moment to realize a mask was in your hands. Your thumb ran over its red visor, then you froze. A chill shot up your spine.

“Y/N..?”

No.

Of all people, it had to be Adrian. Adrian Chase, the man on your couch. Adrian Chase, your best friend. Adrian Chase. Vigilante.

You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, until his voice called you back inside. The mask remained in your shaky grip, speckled with blood and dirt. You weren’t sure what was on his face. Concern? Guilt? Or hiding the fact he was going to kill you next? Whatever it was, you hovered above him, eyes empty, tongue dry, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Please tell me this isn’t yours.” You held the mask up with a quivering hand. “Please.”

The Adrian you knew wasn’t capable of this. Except, you didn’t really know him at all. He knew your full name, your favorite color, memorized your order at Fennel Fields, even the fucking time you were born. How much did you know about him? Well, he had an older brother named Gut, he worked at Fennel Fields, and…

Nothing else.

How you managed to maintain a friendship with a stranger was remarkable. Because past the surface, past everything one would learn from a single glance, there was nothing else about Adrian you could recollect. So, how much had he gathered? How much did he have under his belt, waiting for the perfect chance to strike?

Vigilante didn’t wait. If he wanted to, you would’ve already been dead.

“I’m sorry.”

His weak hand reached for yours, just out of grasp. You let the mask fall to your side and sat beside Adrian, staring at the floor.

“I didn’t know how else to tell you.” His voice cracked. “Hell, I made an effort to make sure no one knew, and then…I don’t know. It just happened. I was there for the world to see.”

Your inhale was labored, broken by the lump in your throat and the tears in your eyes. What you were crying about, you weren’t exactly sure. It wasn’t in fear for your life—you were still in one piece, in much, much better condition than Adrian. It was…grief. A sense of betrayal. Either because your best friend didn’t confide in you his biggest secret, or the fact it was real.

“Look at me.”

Every muscle and bone was locked in place.

“Look at me, please.”

His fingertips were light against your jaw, gently turning your head towards his. For a moment, they pass against your lips, gone as quick as they came. Adrian’s expression was soft, pleading for your to understand (as if it was going to be that easy).

“I-I know it’s crazy right now, but believe me when I say I don’t want to hurt you. I could never hurt you. Never.”

His hand found a resting place on your thigh, thumb rubbing small circles in the fabric of your pajama pants. It would’ve been a lie to say your heart hadn’t sped up, or your head began to feel light. Not necessarily in a bad way, but…different. Comfortable. And it wasn’t the first time you had felt like this.

“Do you trust me?”

A slow inhale. “I do.”

“Good.” Beneath his smile was still a twinge of worry. “Because I trust you, too. Even if you gave me up to the police, I wouldn’t be mad. Sad, maybe, but I’d respect your choice because I respect everyone’s choice. Well, almost everyone.”

There he was again, the Adrian who spoke his mind without fear. The sheer ridiculousness of it made you crack a grin and a breathy laugh, which he raised his brows at. At least you weren’t as tense.

His tired head had fallen on your shoulder, followed by an extended yawn. He wasn’t flinching as much as before, bleeding stopped, and the adrenaline washed away. His hand remained on your thigh, unmoving and warm. You placed yours on top of his, deciding it best you didn’t move (you didn’t want to, anyway).

What would come after, this double life of Adrian and Vigilante and keeping his secret, was going to be a pain to adjust to. That you’d deal with later, you thought as your eyelids began to fall. You and Adrian would tackle it head-on, together.

#adrian chase x reader #adrian chase x you #vigilante x reader #vigilante x you #adrian chase fluff #adrian chase fanfic

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plus-size-reader · 3 years

Text

Devastated

Ivar the Boneless x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2794 words

Warnings: Reader cannot have children. It is covered in very little detail but content may be triggering to some. Read with caution darlings.

Summary: The reader finds out that she will never bear children, and knows that she must tell her husband, eventually.

—————————————————————————————————

You were devastated.

In your entire life, you were sure that you’d never been given such bad news.

When you went to visit the Seer, the last thing you expected him to tell you about your future was that you would never be able to have children, and yet, that was just what had happened.

You begged the mighty one to reconsider, to tell you something different, but there was nothing to be done.

The reality was that you would never bear children of your own, not in all your life.

You couldn’t believe it.

Child rearing was incredibly important to you, and your people in general. You should have been able to bear strong, strapping sons to carry on their father’s name and daughters who could hold their own against any warrior.

It was your birthright as a woman, and a Princess of Kattegat, but the seer was very clear. There were no young ones in your future, at least, not any that you would carry on your own as your mother had with you.

It wasn’t going to happen.

By all accounts, you were heartbroken.

Since you were a young child, you had dreamed of becoming a mother to brave children who could bring just as much glory to Kattegat as you and all the others before you had. You owed it to the Gods, but evidently, they had a different plan.

You weren’t to be a mother.

You considered this, and everything else the seer had said as you walked down the path toward the great hall, your feet heavy beneath you. Perhaps, if you made enough offerings to Freya, something would change.

Though, you knew it would never work.

The seer had never been wrong, in all the years you’d lived. If he was ever going to be wrong, you doubted it would be over this in any case.

You couldn’t rightly ignore the facts.

Your body wasn’t fit to carry children, and if your womb couldn't support life, there was nothing you could have ever hoped to do to change that. The most you could do was accept what you knew to be true.

Which was much easier in theory than in practice.

Not only did you have to come to terms with this new reality, but you also had to share the unfortunate news with your husband, who would certainly not take it well.

Every man wanted sons, men whom they could be proud to leave their name to when they were finally called to Valhalla. The idea that you were taking that away from Ivar made you rethink everything.

Would he want to be married to you anymore when he found out? Your marriage was relatively new, and you couldn't blame him if this was something that he simply couldn’t overlook and even worse, what if he was angry?

Ivar wasn’t exactly a joy to be around when he was angry, and you fear what he may do if he blamed you for something like this.

Was it your fault?

Gods, maybe it was.

You weren’t aware that you couldn’t have children before this morning so it wasn’t as if you could have been expected to warn him before your marriage, but now that you knew, was it possible you had done something wrong.

It was really starting to feel as though you were being punished for something, but for what, you were unsure.

Surely you’d done something wrong. Why else would the Gods see fit to take your children away from you before you’d even had a chance to consider having them?

It felt like a cruel joke, one that you could never escape.

The more you thought about it, the more distracted you’d become, and before long, you found yourself entering the mouth of the great hall, where Ivar was already waiting for you.

Of course he was.

Your husband was kind to you, most of the time, when his temper didn’t have a handle on his emotions. You had never found yourself worried about speaking to him, or telling him anything before, but today was different.

Today, you found yourself more willing to go into the woods to fight a bear as Bjorn had done, rather than tell Ivar of the news you’d gotten from the seer on your visit this morning.

It was simply too much to put on one person.

“Well hello my wife, how are you?” Ivar hummed, letting his eyes fall on you in the doorway once he’d decided he was bored of watching Ubbe and Hvitserk try to best one another in an arm wrestle.

They had been going at it for the last hour or so, and it had gotten tedious shortly after that.

Hearing about what you had gotten into today seemed to interest him that much more, especially because you had taken it upon yourself to get out of bed and leave before he’d even opened his eyes.

You didn’t speak at first, instead opting to admire the man you loved in a silent contemplation of how he was feeling today.

If he was already in a sour mood, you weren’t going to dare bring something like this up.

Still, compared to how Ivar acted on his worst days, he seemed rather content today. If nothing else, he was bored, which you couldn’t really fault him for. His mother had more or less kept him here his entire life.

He didn’t voyage away from Kattegat and he never was one for frivolous activities to pass the time.

In any case, if there was ever going to be a good opportunity to have such a sensitive conversation with him, it was now. At least, you had a better chance of him staying calm, rather than getting angry.

“I’m just fine, Ivar, how are you?” you hummed, sitting down beside him as gingerly as you could without disturbing him, though you were more in your head than you’d ever been.

You knew that you should pay attention as he told you about what he’d gotten up to today, not missing the subtle comments he made about you leaving him to wake up on his own, but you couldn’t focus on anything more than the sinking in your gut.

Deep down, you knew that he would blame you.

That it was bad enough that you weren’t as fair or petite as his brother’s wives, and that his father had arranged your marriage, but now, you wouldn't even be able to bear his children for him.

You had been rather fortunate to avoid Ivar’s wrath before now, though you’d seen it pretty frequently, and you could feel that luck running out. You knew that this would upset him, that he would be angry.

You just weren’t sure what you could do about that.

It would be foolish to believe that you could keep this from him forever.

Eventually, he was bound to put the pieces together when you couldn’t get pregnant, and even if he didn’t, the seer was sure to mention it to him at some point.

You could only keep this from him for so long, and if he found out you knew this long before he did, he would punish you for sure.

So, as much as it made your stomach turn, you knew that you only really had one choice.

“What did you do today that was so important?” he questioned, all but snapping in your face to get your attention once he’d finished speaking, only to find you as far away as ever.

Clearly, your head was a million miles away, and while that normally would have frustrated Ivar, he found himself strangely concerned for your wellbeing. Usually, when he spoke, you hung on every word.

Today, it was as if he wasn’t even here.

“I went to visit the seer, about the strange way I’ve been feeling” you shrugged, hoping that wouldn’t bring on any other questions from him.

This was your chance.

All you had to do was tell him.

Though, when you raised your eyes to meet his, you found that same knot in your belly twisted up even more. There was no way that you could tell him, he would never understand.

Still, you knew that at some point, he was sure to pull it out of you. He always did, no matter what it was you tried to keep away.

“Well, what did he tell you?” came his second question, the one you’d been anticipating, and trying to avoid, this entire time.

You did your best not to let the heavy sigh building in your chest escape as you tried to figure out how to word what you had to say, your eyes falling on both Hvitserk and Ubbe across the room.

It was bad enough that you were about to tell Ivar the worst news you’d ever gotten, but now, you had to do it with them within earshot? It was perfect. The entire Ragnarsson clan could hate you at once.

Not that them being here was a completely bad thing.

At least with his brothers in the room, there was less of a chance that Ivar could get so angry with you.

Perhaps they would be a good buffer for you.

In any case, you knew that you had reached the end of your very minimal stalling. If you waited any longer, the more you were sure that Ivar’s peaceful mood and ticking patience would fade.

The longer you waited, the harder it would be.

“There is nothing outrightly wrong” you allowed, doing your best to make him feel better about that, at the very least. It wasn’t a lie, just as much as it wasn’t exactly the truth. You weren’t dying, or seriously ill.

You just weren’t as you thought you were this morning.

“Then why were you away for so long? Surely the seer was able to tell you something” he groaned, bothered that you had been away for so many hours without so much as a warning to him.

After all, you had been missing from his side since before he opened his eyes, something he had never really taken kindly to.

You nodded, sorry that your clear absence had upset him so much before you finally let that sigh fall from your lips.

“Yes, he did, but the news is rather difficult to accept,” you warned, forcing some words out when you found the truth unable to leave your tongue. With every second that passed, you could just feel his patience leaving him.

However, even with all the blatant stalling you were doing, Ivar remained as calm as he could.

It was clear to him that no matter what you said, there was something you were keeping from him. The only question Ivar really had was why?

In all the time that you had been married, he was always kind to you. He took care of you as any husband should and though his temper was a bit harsh at times, he was always careful to be fair and gentle when he spoke to you.

All in all, Ivar thought himself to be a good husband but perhaps he was wrong.

He couldn’t imagine anything that could be so bad that you were so timid to tell him.

“Y/N, what did the seer tell you?” he prompted, shocking you a bit with the use of your name. Ivar never used your name, not if he could help it, always instead opting for ‘wife’ or ‘darling’ if he really wanted something.

It was never Y/N with him.

“I cannot have children, Ivar. Not ever” you finally broke, desperately wishing that you hadn’t said anything to begin with.

You should have been able to do this, and you both knew it.

Still, once you’d finally built up the courage to look, the upset that you expected from Ivar wasn’t anywhere to be seen on his face.

Instead, he wore an expression that was almost confused.

That was what you were so afraid to tell him?

You had come in here after a day of absence, as closed off and cagey as he’d ever seen you in all the time that you’d known him and that was what it was about? He just couldn’t believe that was the thing that you hesitated to share.

Of all the things it could have been, he would have thought that among the first that you could talk with him about if need be.

Not that you could read all of that from his silence and pensive expression.

From where you were sitting, you were even further convinced that he was about to tell you that he couldn’t be married to someone that couldn’t give him children, and that you would be on your own once again.

News that you couldn’t have been more unwilling to hear.

While your marriage to Ivar had been his mother’s idea in the beginning, you had begun to really care for him in the time you’d been married. Separating from him was sure to break your heart.

No matter the circumstances.

“And you’re upset by that?” he hummed, after a few seconds of silence between the two of you, a casual question that seemed so out of place in such a serious, tense conversation.

It was so strange.

He truly seemed as if he didn’t understand what the big deal was.

Though, you were talking to a man who had never truly been sure children were in his future to begin with. Not to mention the fact that even if he knew he was physically able, Ivar didn’t know how he felt about fathering offspring.

After all, if they had to live life anything like he did, he wasn’t sure it was worth it.

So, the idea that you couldn’t bear his children didn’t bother Ivar as much as you’d been expecting. Something that would have made you feel better, had you not been heartbroken over it.

You wanted to have children, all your life, so now knowing that you couldn’t, it felt as if something you’d never even had, had been stolen from you.

“Of course I’m upset, Ivar. Are you not?” you sighed, shocked at how this conversation had so drastically changed from what you’d been expecting. All this time, you thought your husband would be the most affected by this.

All the while, he remained almost entirely unphased by the news that you were barren.

It was almost insulting.

“Did you really expect to have children when we married, anyway?” he asked, his question giving you pause for a moment.

You supposed you’d never really thought about it before.

He had a point.

There was never any real guarantee that you were going to be a mother with him in any case, a fact that hadn’t even been important enough to cross your mind when you were getting married.

“I never thought much about it” you allowed, your eyes once again sinking to the floor as you thought about everything that had somehow changed, in the matter of a few hours.

It was hard not to feel as if your body had betrayed your trust, taking away something you had always thought to be promised.

You were upset, and rightfully so.

Ivar may not have ever considered himself a father, in any capacity, but that didn’t mean that your upset was any less real. He’d had his entire life to come to terms with this, whereas you’d only known for a day.

Of course it bothered you, and even if he didn’t really get why you were allowing something like this to get to you so much, he could recognize that you were hurting.

...and what kind of husband would he be if he left his grieving wife to her own devices.

“I understand that you are distressed by the seer’s news, but I promise you, it changes nothing between us” Ivar assured, his fingers brushing over the top of your hand as he held it between you.

It wasn’t the most comforting gesture outside of this moment, a simple hand holding as it were, but coming from Ivar, it made all the difference in the world.

As desperate as you were to change the state of your body, and as much as you wished it wasn’t the way it was, you knew that nothing could be done.

All you could do now was move on as best you could, and perhaps, sometime down the line, the gods may gift you with a child that you could care for.

Even if such a child wasn’t of Ivar’s and your own.

At least, until then, you had Ivar by your side.

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nebulablakemurphy · 3 years

Text

The Red Room

Summary: Meeting Yelena in the red room is the best and worse thing that’s ever happened to you. Warning: romantic Yelena x Fem!reader pairing and depictions of violence.

Those first weeks in the red room pass in a blur. You have one room. Just you. Meals are delivered like clockwork; no one speaks to you. Your only company being the television set that plays the same clips; morning, noon and night.

Until one day the lights flip on brightly above you and a woman enters. You squint up at her, “hello?”

“Hello.” She replies, “are you ready to get out of here?”

“Where will I go?” You wonder.

“Wherever I tell you.”

That is your first encounter with Madame B. When you were younger you thought her something of a savior. You know better now. Still when she calls for you, there’s no choice but to go.

You make your way down the long hall, florescent lights humming above you. Finally reaching the room you’ve been assigned; you grasp the door knob. Feeling the weight of the cool metal against your palm, with a steadying breath you turn it.

Inside is only Madame B and a girl. One you’ve only seen in passing, one of Dreykov’s favorites.

“Y/N, meet Yelena. She will be your partner from now on.” Madame B leads the introduction.

“Did something happened to Oksana?” Your brows pull together, voice small. Afraid to cross an unspoken boundary. She’s always been your partner.

“Oksana is no longer your concern.” The woman bites out. “Shake hands and prepare for your lesson.”

You nod, biting your tongue.

Lesson…

Sparring.

Dancing.

Captive simulations.

What will it be this time?

“Oksana is ok.” Yelena tells you, once the trainer is out of earshot.

“Good,” you whisper, holding your hand out to shake without another word.

“Is that why they kept you locked up so long? You don’t play well with others?” The blonde takes your hand, eyes narrowed into slits.

“I don’t play at all.” You inform her. Pleasing these people is your ticket out of here, and you will get out.

“Everybody plays, whether you want to or not.” Yelena tells you, letting your fingers slip from hers. “Just don’t get in my way.”

——————————————————————-

You don’t get in each other’s way. Somehow having Yelena as a combat partner is a lot less annoying than you anticipated.

Oksana is a better friend, but you aren’t here to make friends. You’re here to kill. Topple regimes from the inside out, Yelena helps you do that.

Your training with Yelena is different. Chipping away parts of you until you fit together seamlessly. From trust falls to synchronized attack plans, you name it you do it. Sometimes until you bleed.

One of your trainers, Ivan, has taken a liking to blind folded direction. Outside of captive simulations it is your least favorite team building activity.

You remind yourself to focus and breathe. In some ways guiding is worse than being guided. “Veer slightly to your right.”

Yelena lifts one bare foot, holding it airborne, allowing you to assess the placement of her next step. “Here?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, as she clears the bit of shattered glass. “That’s perfect.”

———————————————————————

Your first real assignment comes on Monday, June second.

“Come in, Miss American Pie. I have eyes on the target.” Yelena informs you through the ear piece.

“That’s still not my name, over. Stay high, I’m going down.” You reply, deploying your rope and riding it to the ground.

“Five ticks northwest and the package is yours.”

“Copy.” You follow her instruction, ducking away as a bullet shatters the window beside you. “Easy.” You chastise, in a hushed whisper.

“Sorry,” she apologizes half heartedly. The kill was necessary and she had a clean shot.

You spot your target, ready to turn onto the main street from the alleyway. You wrestle him to the ground, he puts up a good fight. Not good enough.

You wipe the blood from your hands before removing the usb drive from his breast coat pocket. “Just admit it,” you taunt, turning to the building Yelena is scoping from, “you’re proud of me.”

“Y/N!” Her tone is not playful at all.

What’s wrong? Before you get a chance to ask the man you’d assumed dead has his knife buried in your thigh.

You crumple to the ground as he prepares to strike again. In the time it takes to unholster your weapon a silent bullet reaches his temple from the sky.

You squint up at Yelena, watching her ride her teether down to the ground beside you. “Thanks.” You pant, inspecting the damage.

“That was sloppy,” she frowns, searching her pack for the midkit, then tearing open a package of gauze. “You always check the body, confirm the kill.”

“I know, I was stupid.” You gasp, feeling Yelena apply an obscene amount of pressure to your wound.

“We need to move to the extraction point, they can deal with you in medical.” Yelena rises, tossing your arm over her shoulder for support.

“It won’t happen again.” You promise, leaning heavily against her side.

“You’re right, it won’t. I have no idea what happens to me if you die.” She grumbles, somewhat bitterly.

———————————————————————

Interactions with Yelena are sparse after that. She doesn’t trust you. Only showing up for your lessons and leaving the moment they’re finished. You understand why she’s angry, you would be too.

According to your weekly rotation, today should be live target practice, however you are directed to a different room.

Once inside your eyes find the chair. You hate that chair. You hate this room. Nothing good ever happens here.

Slowly you move toward Yelena at the far wall.

“A little birdie told me that you’ve been holding back in combat lessons.” Ivan says, tapping a finger to his chin. “Why is that?”

You bite anxiously at the inside of your cheek.

“I said why is that?!”

You notice Yelena flinch from the corner of your eye. “It’s my fault,” you hold up a hand. “I took a hit on our last mission and my partner was being mindful of my injuries.”

“Oh I see.” He smirks, condescendingly. “You don’t want to hurt each other.”

“It would be counter productive to harm my partner.” Yelena points out. The red room drilled that into you.

“That is true.” His eyes dart between you. “But we can’t have you afraid of sparring together. Now can we?”

Your jaw ticks, awaiting the consequence.

“When’s the last time you girls ran a captive simulation?”

“Two weeks ago.” Yelena presents her left index finger to him for inspection. The nail just beginning to grow back.

Ivan hums, “When’s the last time you ran a captive simulation on each other?”

Your heart drops, all the blood running out of your face. Not for months.

“Hmm,” he wets his lips. “Who gets to play the captor first?”

Neither one of you volunteer.

“Belova,” he purrs. “Come choose your tools while Y/L/N straps herself into the chair.”

You don’t hesitate, it’ll be worse if you do. Tuning out his incessant chatter you find your seat. The metal chair sends a chill up your spine. Bending at the waist, you strap each ankle into a leather restraint, then your non dominant hand. Free hand waiting, curled around the arm rest.

Yelena kneels before you, her selections resting at your feet as she closes the final strap around your wrist. Your breath quickens.

“Fifteen minutes on the clock then you’ll switch.” Your spectator announces. “Make them count or we’ll start over.”

On autopilot Yelena reaches for the scalpel.

You don’t mean to scream…but eventually you do. You always do.

———————————————————————

Yelena knows your weaknesses and regularly exploits them to leave you face up on the floor during hand to hand combat sessions.

You used to resent her for it, but it made you strong. Stronger than you’ve ever been or hoped to be. The day you finally best her the room is filled with hushed whispers. Now you are ready.

You learn to move in harmony. The trainers ease up a bit and the other girls line up to watch you like an exhibit. You are two halves of a more perfect whole.

“Madame B, can I ask you something?” You say, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“Of course.” The older woman replies. “What is it?”

“Why was my training so different with Oksana?”

She leans in. “You were not brought here to be a partner to Oksana. She was standing in until we could be sure you were ready for a partner. Nothing more.”

“Was I brought here to be Yelena’s partner?” The question burns at the back of your throat.

“I understand the desire to seek meaning in these things. You hope to find your place in the world.”

You nod.

“But you have no place in the world,” the words cut like a knife. “What you do have is an opportunity to prove that you are not a waste of space, time, or resources. Come, let’s sit for debriefing.”

You wait in silence for Yelena to arrive, finally she does. Taking the seat beside you in the meeting room.

“In two days you will undergo the graduation ceremony, after which you are granted up to three days recovery time before you will be deployed to Moscow.” Madame B reviews the information, handing you each a folder of details.

“Enclosed you will find your identification cards and aliases. I suggest you take this time to familiarize yourselves. Tomorrow we will begin shooting photographs for the past two years of your lives. Report with several changes of clothing. Congratulations on this assignmet. It is a great honor.” Madame B dismisses you.

You open the file. ‘Katherine and Irena Reiner.’

“We’re sisters?” Yelena guesses.

Worse. “We’re married.”

“Even better.” She says under her breath, rising from the chair.

———————————————————————

Life in Moscow is different. Good. The neighbors are easy enough to convince. You play your parts to perfection.

The company you work for being the main focus. They have access to some sort of programming that Dreykov is desperate to get his hands on. You know better than to ask why.

Most mornings you get ready together, discussing the events of the previous day to prepare for the next.

“How come you only speak English?” Yelena wonders, turning off the steady spray of water from her shower and reaching out to grab a towel.

“I have a theory,” you reply, spitting excess toothpaste into the sink. “I think keeping me dependent on translation had more pros than cons.”

“They taught me.” She says, stepping onto the bath mat. “But I guess that’s different.”

You were brought in much older a majority of the other girls.

Your eyes meet in the mirror, seeing each other as if for the first time.

“I could teach you.” She offers, breaking the connection as she turns away.

“Yeah?” You pass the brush through your hair.

Yelena shrugs, “I have nothing better to do.”

“Just don’t teach me the wrong words to make me look stupid.” You arch a brow.

“It would be counter productive to harm my partner.”

Hours turn into days. Days into weeks and suddenly you stand on a blurred line. How much is she pretending? How much are you?

The two of you rest on opposite ends of the couch. Enjoying another round of prime time television.

“Yesterday I was talking to that girl in accounting.” Yelena pulls your attention from the picture.

“The blonde one?” You ask, tossing a piece of popcorn at her.

She attempts to catch it in her mouth. Having had more than a few drinks her coordination is lacking.

You smirk, when it falls into her lap.

“No Maggie.” She corrects you, finding the wayward piece and biting into it.

“Mmm.” You hum.

“Mmm? What do you mean, ‘mmm?’” Yelena’s brows pull together.

“Nothing,” you insist. “I was just acknowledging what you said.”

“You didn’t sound very happy about it. Did she do something to you?” Yelena demands, straightening her posture.

“No, she didn’t do anything. Anyway tell me what happened.”

“She’s worked there for a long time. I think she knows more than she says she does.”

“So are you gonna talk to her again? See if she’ll open up?” Yelena has that effect on people.

“I am married.” She rolls her eyes, flipping her left ring finger in place of the middle.

“Shut up.” You chuckle.

“I’m crazy about you, know you. Ever since we met in high school. You didn’t like me at first but you came around.” Yelena elaborates.

“I don’t remember seeing all that in our cover story.” You cock your head to the side.

“That was a shit story, I’m rewriting it.” She waves a hand.

“Tell me more.” Tell me everything.

———————————————————————

“Did you get milk?” You shout, peeking into the nearest paper bag.

“Was it on the list?” Yelena hollers back, from the front door, kicking it shut. Her arms full of groceries.

“I don’t remember,” you say, unpacking the head of lettuce and eggs.

“You made the list.” She scoffs, setting the rest of the haul on the floor.

A knock pulls your attention away from the food.

“Who is it?” You wonder.

“It’s me, George. From next door.” Your neighbor answers.

Yelena rolls her eyes, waving you out of the kitchen. It’s your turn to make small talk.

You step carefully around the produce to the main entrance. “Hey George.” You smile, swinging open the door, “what’s up?”

“Katherine!” He greets you. “Could I borrow Irena for a minute?”

“Is that lawnmower giving you trouble again?” You guess, leaning against the door frame.

“It’s running great actually. There’s something else I’m curious about though.”

“I can send her over after dinner.” You attempt to dismiss him.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” George moves his foot to prevent the door from closing, producing a pistol from his waistband.

“George!” Yelena waves, clearly oblivious.

“Irena,” he looks down at the gun, pointed at your chest, “we have much to discuss.”

“Clearly.” Yelena agrees, coming to join you on the threshold. “Are you going to tell me why you have my wife at gunpoint?”

“We should take this inside.”

“I’m good here.”

He presses the barrel against your skin through the fabric of your shirt. “You sure about that?”

“On second thought, I could go for a drink. Do you like scotch?” Yelena takes a step back, leaving room for him to enter the house.

“Who sent you?” George demands, guiding you into the kitchen.

“We also have brandy.” She says, expression unreadable.

“Who are you working for?” He asks a second time, adjusting his grip on the gun. “First one goes in her leg.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Yelena drawls. “But I’m going to warn you, if you hurt her, you die.”

“You have three seconds to give me a better answer,” the nuzzle of the gun sits flush against you upper thigh. “One, two-“

Yelena lunges, the gun firing into the floor when he’s knocked off balance.

George tosses her off as if she weighs nothing. You rush him, knocking the fire arm to the other side of the room. Your arms locked around his neck, flush to his back. He rams you back first into the china cabinet.

You fall away with a grunt.

“Now,” the man rights himself. Wiping away the blood from his split bottom lip with the back of his hand. “We’re going to have fun.”

Taking a fist full of your hair he begins pulling you toward the center of the room. You grab for a large shard of glass, slicing it over the back of this knee. He releases you, doubling over.

“I warned you.” Yelena snarls, stabbing her knife into his belly, making a straight line up to his sternum. “You thought you could use her to break me? They used to make me torture her! They used to make me-“ she breaks off, withdrawing her knife. Only to ram it in again and again.

George, if that was his real name, is long dead. A crimson puddle blooming on the floor. It doesn’t stop Yelena, hot, angry tears rolling past her cheeks.

“Yelena.” You say softly.

“They used to make me do it.” She repeats, the weight of the words crushing down on her.

Your arms envelope her from behind.

“No.” She sobs when she feels you there, holding exactly where it hurts.

“It’s ok.” You whisper against her ear.

The blood stained blade clatters to the ground. Her breathing ragged as both her hands find yours, squeezing tightly. Don’t let go.

“It’s ok.”

“No it’s not.” She cries, frantically shaking her head.

“I did it too.” As if she needs reminding. “They made me do it too.”

She allows you to stay curled around her, desperately trying to absorb some of that pain.

———————————————————————

Yelena’s drug of choice is alcohol, the spirits burn their way into her blood stream. Erasing all that she’s done.

“You want a glass?” She offers, setting the bottle of clear liquor down on the coffee table.

“No thanks.” You shake your head, hair still damp from the shower.

“Don’t be a hero,” she rolls her eyes as she takes a seat. The water had washed away any trace of George.

“Fine,” you take a long swig from the bottle in question.

“You’ll thank me later.” She tosses back a shot, sliding the strap of your pajama top down to assess the damage to your left shoulder. “It’s deep, going to need stitches. This is why we don’t go through china cabinets.” Yelena chastises, moving for the first aid kit.

“Yeah, not my finest moment.” You peek at her. “But it worked.”

“Mmm,” she hums, returning to her spot. Flipping open the white box and removing what she needs to stitch you up.

First she hits you with the antiseptic “сука!” Bitch.

“See,” you can hear the smile in her voice, “you are learning.”

You let out a pained laugh, “I guess I am. We need to call someone to clean this up.”

“Here,” she hands you her phone, blowing gently over you wound. “You take care of that, I take care of you.”

Your heart clenches at her words. But Yelena is your partner. That is all.

“Belova, do you have a status update?” A familiar voice answers after the first ring.

“Yeah, we need a cleanup.” You say matter of factly.

“Agent Y/L/N.” He greets you. “How many?”

“One.”

“For now,” The man remarks.

“You didn’t tell us we weren’t alone in this pursuit.” You purse your lips.

“There’s a reason we sent the best. I’ll put in for a clean up crew in the morning.”

“Let them know the body is in the bathtub.”

The goes dead.

The conversation distracts you well enough from the dull ache of the needle poking and pulling at your shoulder.

Carefully Yelena bandages the abused skin. Her finger tips running along the back of your arm.

“Thank you.” You whisper, relaxing into her touch.

Her lips ghost over your skin. “You’re welcome.”

Oh.

Slowly you turn, as if not to startle her. Yelena’s eyes find yours.

You move closer, tracing the line of her jaw. “Thank you,” you repeat.

She nods, still unsure.

“Of all the people I could’ve been stuck here with…I’m glad it was you.”

“You don’t have to say that.” She pulls your hand away gently.

“You’re right. I don’t have to say anything.“ You murmur, “But I want to… and it would be counter productive to harm my partner.”

“We can’t.” She knows it. You know it. “It will get in the way. They’ll kill us.”

“No.” You chuckle bitterly. “They’ll make us kill each other.”

“I wouldn’t do it,” Yelena insists.

“You won’t have a choice.” You point out. “Didn’t you hear about that stuff they started pumping into people?”

“Mind control.” Yelena replies in Russian.

“It’s only a matter of time.”

“Maybe we get out.”

“Maybe,” you smile sadly, “maybe we find each other.” In another life.

———————————————————————

Three days later Yelena comes home late. During your day off you were tasked with the more mundane tasks of running a household, but you suppose there are worse things. She finds you in the laundry room, drink already in hand. Her mouth set in a frown.

“What’s wrong?” You drop the piece of clothing back into the basket.

“I have it.” Yelena confesses.

You press your lips together, you knew this was coming. That information is the only reason you are here. “Did you contact them?”

“Not yet.”

“Are you going to?”

“You say that like I have a choice.” She stares down at her drink.

“I just meant-“

“I know what you meant.” Yelena knows you, better than anyone. The red room saw to that. “Do you want to stay one more night?”

“Do you?” You wonder.

“When I was a little girl…I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye.”

“In the morning,” you offer. Any longer and the risk will be too great. “We’ll go in the morning.”

She nods, taking in the room around her. “I wanted it to be real.”

“It was.” You choke down the lump in your throat.

———————————————————————

Your return to the red room is swift. No pat on the back or celebration to be had. Just two pawns, returning to their places on the board.

You’re separated from Yelena. Because your loyalties are to each other and that poses a threat. But what did they expect? They made you this way.

You are alone. Perhaps the most alone you’ve ever been. Or maybe you’d just forgotten that you could feel things. You remember now and wish you didn’t.

Like it or not she changed you. Knowing her had changed you, for better or for worse. After Yelena you were never the same.

Word of Oksana’s escape only fuels the need to chemically alter the minds of all agents. Beginning in order of importance.

Finding Yelena seated on the bench outside the physician’s office steals the breath from your lungs. To see her now is blatantly cruel and calculated.

Still you sit in the empty space beside her.

“Do you know where your orders are?” She asks.

“Yeah,” you nod, “Budapest. You?”

“Back to Moscow.” Yelena informs you.

You swallow hard, your pinkies skating past each other.

“Agent Y/L/N,” the doctor opens his door. You watch as another widow exits, she doesn’t look any different. Maybe the mind control drugs aren’t affective.

You steal one last glance at Yelena. Her eyes are desperate, ‘don’t go.’ Both of you knowing you can’t stay.

“Enjoy Moscow.” You whisper, moving reluctantly to your feet.

She tears her gaze away, unable to watch you leave. “I hear Budapest is beautiful.”

You hope so.

Wanna know what happens next? Check out chapter one of Miss American Pie! 💜

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