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cari28ch3-me · 3 years

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so I just watched “In the Heights”

here are some positive and negative thoughts:

is it odd that within the first music number the very first thing that caught my eye is that they have dancers of different body types? for real that was the very first thing that cught my eye as I already know the song, so details like that were more important in my mind

speaking of odd, the accents in this movie. Even when I watch a film that happens to have Latino representation it still called out my atention a lot to hear so many Caribbean accents. So often latino artists either play them down or try too hard to sound Mexican and on this one that Caribbean accents are what really caught my atention and I don’t know how many people will point that out.

not to compliment him too much but this is the best LMM has ever sung tbh. Who knew that to make that happen you had to give him 3 songs instead of 30.

Corey Hawkins as Benny is probably the best casting decision in the whole film, I know that he has done other stuff, but a million doors better open for this guy after this ok I had no idea he could sing and dance and command the screen this much.

Daniela and Carla as an offical couple, YAS QUEENS!!! just what we needed for Pride Month even if they are secondary characters, they just always act like a couple.

Cameos from famous latinos like Mark Anthony and mentions of great artists like Chita Rivera, Rita Moreno and Celia Cruz. Finally some education on screen.

Olga Merediz singing “Paciencia y Fe” made me cry so hard that my mom came to see if I was ok, I demand an Oscar nom for her!!!! Olga owns that role so hard ok she originated it on Broadway, played Abuela for 3 years, was in the OBS cast recording, and is still killing it at it 12 years alter

very good cinematography which is Jon Chu’s strong suit no matter what

overall cast does a really solid job

now for the bad under a read more cause it got LONG and spoilery

They shouldnt have added more characters. Mark Anthony makes a cameo, as in literal 1 minute cameo and the reason why becomes an important plot point later on ok, he adds more to the story in one minute than plenty other characters with less time do. Example:

there was no reason to add Cuca, there just wasn’t. Other than giving Dasha Polanco (queen) a paycheck there was nothing for her character to do. She was added to the movie ok the role wasn’t in the play, and thus there is nothing for her to do

bit of a spoiler but all she does is twerk from time to time and follow around Daniela and Carla like a third wheel. If it was a 3 way polyam relationship then that would at least be something but nah, she just flirts with Usnavi (who she knows likes someone else) and shakes her ass, thats it

not enough Pete!!!! he was such a cool character in the play but in the movie he almost does not exist and you don’t get to see the Abuela Claudia’s portrait ok it feels like a waste

they cut out Priscilla!!! why? the fact that both of Nina’s parents want to support her is great and we have enough orphans in the movie already, it makes that fact that Nina’s dad is not a perfect man less impactful and instead make so that everything he does in the movie is seen as perfect, Priscilla putting him in his place was a great scene and we don’t get it

the couples have no chemistry. There I said it. I am ok with the actors they chose but I was rotting for those couples a lot less than in the play.

I expected more out of Blackout ok that song is such a tense and scary moment and here it feels like its played for laughs ok stuff that really hits in the play feels watered down because it is being made into a joke.

This sounds mean but Nina’s voice in the og recording is way stronger than Leslie Grace’s and I knwo that the comparison will be seen as unfair but I have to say it.

to be even meaner, I’m sorry, but Anthony Ramos is a way less emotional Usnavi to me and the reason is that he doesn’t even need the winning ticket to move back to DR, he just gets the check inmediately at the begining of the story so I’m like “ok why bother staying is the other option is always fucking open”.

now for my biggest gripe with the movie: Vanessa’s clothing. Not what she wears but what she designs. Why cleaning rags? just why?

the movie complains and shows the issues with gentrification only for Vanessa to take cleaning rags, from Pete’s job, and turn them into gentrified clothing. I know that the movie was shot 2 years ago but already the clothes she desings look a. out of fashion and b. annoying.

The complain that rich people will buy pants and shirts that are already broken and stained but look down on poor people who broke and stained their clothes while doing actual work has been around for a while, so that pissed me off. You can’t make a movie against gentrification and then gentrify clothes and call it your leading lady being “creative” and “great”.

The fact that no one in the production throught of that tells you that by now they are more “Hollywood” than “from the block” no matter how much they say they are not. Also, remember my Blackout complain? yeah its cause the reason it isn’t tense anymore is that movie brings up over and over again how a tragedy can happen and latinos will just dance and sing like they dont care.

Characters go from being worried about their safety and their businesses that they need to survive to breakdancing to fire works, why? why do you do it like that? why can’t you show latinos as people with troubles trying to fix them through hard work and instead no one was worried about the blackout until Abuela Claudia died ok they were having a bingo party instead of worrying about their livehood and the safety of their homes.

after “Paciencia y Fe” the movie was pretty much not doing it for me anymore and it is these “small details” that bothered me and took me out of it. Yeah those last 40 min of the movie made me rant this hard so I don’t know if I recommend it or not ok I can’t recommend 2/3 of a movie and tell you to just not finish it. No one will care about this much ranting so whatever, up to you.

#in the heights #long post #hollywood why #benny daniela and carla were the best parts #alogn with sonny of course #but thats it #ranting

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obae-me · 3 years

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Upside Down- CH 2

Author’s Note: I swear I don’t hate Mammon, he just happens to be the subject of everything right now, but don’t worry, the comfort will come. Just hold out for the next one, the healing will start I swear!

Tags: Cussing, fighting, unhealthy coping mechanisms, mentions of death, toxic friendships, blackmail (As always, read safely, feel free to ask about any of these tags)

Word Count: 4683

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

An Unlucky Break

Honestly, at this point, you weren’t sure what was worse. The humans? The endless noises? Or the devil-forsaken sunlight?! Groaning, you pulled another blanket over yourself, tugging it up above your head. Taking the pillow, you used it to try to muffle the sounds of the outside world. It was all so much. How did the humans even get any sleep? How could they see with all the blinding sun rays? You cocooned yourself tighter, imagining that you were back inside your home where nothing but endless moonlight existed and you were left exactly how you wanted to be. Alone.

But all those dreams and imaginations were dashed when you heard a single name roar throughout the house. “Mammon!” If it wasn’t his name, it would be another. They always seemed to be screaming at each other for something around here. At least they had the decency to leave you--

The door to your bedroom door opened, then shut itself quietly, the sound of panting followed by whispered cursing invaded your space. “Why’s he always gotta be on my ass? It’s just a little money, he’d spend it all on useless plastic or junk anyway. It was better off in my hands for sure. For sure...” A little bit of pacing, a small chuckle. “Just gotta lay low in here. It’s abandoned and dark as hell, he surely won’t find me.” It was bitterly amusing how your supposed “babysitter” seemed to have forgotten all about you. Although you stayed quiet, not really in the mood for conversation. Besides, you always had a knack for blending in.

The both of you sat in silence--well, relative silence, since it was obvious the human didn’t seem to understand the definition of being still. He kept mumbling to himself. But the two of you listened to whichever brother was on the hunt go rampaging through the house. Doors kept opening, slamming shut, the footsteps pounding angrily against the floor upstairs. Then it all went quiet. The brother of greed seemed as hopeful as you were that it was a sign they’d given up the chase. Mammon sighed, much too heavily. So of course, the handle slammed against the wall as the room was raided. “There you are, you--you---you!” Then the fighting started. A heavy sound of a body hit the side wall.

“Son of a--get offa me, will ya!? I don’t have your damn money!”

The newcomer growled. “That’s the problem!” The scuffle didn’t seem to end. Neither of them really dug too badly into each other, pushing, shoving, slapping. It was hard to tell if you were intrigued or annoyed. Regardless, you slowly took the blankets off of you, getting a better look at the fight. It was immediately disappointing, or maybe this was as intense as humans could take it? Mammon had his brother’s head in some sort of lock, while the attacker was simply tugging at Greed’s hair with two full handfuls. Neither of them were getting anywhere. No, this was definitely lackluster.

You were back to being annoyed. Sitting up, speaking up finally, you were going to ask, ‘can you two beat each other up elsewhere’, but you couldn’t even get that far. “Can you two--” were the only words you managed to utter before the both of them shrieked in startled fear, high-pitched enough to leave your ears almost ringing. The fighting dropped immediately, the humans instinctively grabbing onto each other in a supportive hug. They stayed like that for a good while before one of them broke away to flick the light on. The intense brightness had you blinking away spots.

Bright blue hair, a shirt with some sort of strangely drawn figure with...large proportions, a curved device around his neck, the brother’s previous assertiveness instantly melted. “W-who are y-you?! God, Mammon, call the-the cops or something!”

Sheepishly, Mammon caught his breath and cleared his throat, the look of recognition coming back to him. “Wait, Levi, this is the guest Lucifer told us about.” The one you were supposed to take care of. Not that I care.

“N-nani?!” So this was Levi Morningstar. Everyone labeled him as Envy. The third eldest and third strongest. So many of his demon followers drove themselves beyond mad, jealous that they couldn’t be as envious as the human. And if that was enough to tell you about this brother… “I thought that was, like, a prank or something! How long have they-they-they…” With every word, he seemed to turn more pink, and yet his face looked almost angrier. “Why didn’t you tell me?!” And he was back to fighting, taking Mammon by the front of his shirt. “I’ve been singing the opening song to ‘Kiss Me I’m Your Princess’ in the shower for the past week!” It was true. He had. “That’s supposed to be private!”

Mammon shrugged, his forearms raising with his shoulders. “Not very private if the whole neighborhood can hear ya, and besides I did tell ya! You were just so upset about the money you must’a not been paying attention!” He shoved Levi off of him. “So that’s on you!”

The older of the two really knew--or maybe he didn’t know--exactly how to push buttons. Levi, his anger reignited about the mention of his money, knocked Mammon to the ground. “Scumbag!”

Mammon pushed his brother off with a knee to the gut, turning the tables and getting on top of his opponent. “Fuckin’ weeb!” It was obvious Greed was the more physically capable, his speed and reactions praiseworthy, perhaps even for average demon standards. However, Levi was bringing his own to the fight--if you could even really call it a fight. He was more adept at using his surroundings as well as guessing predictable movements to stay in the ring.

Should you stop it? Human bodies were much more fragile than demon ones weren’t they? While they might have not been digging their heels into swinging, they were still aggressive, and it was only escalating. The binding marks around your wrists left a dull heat across your skin. Like it or not, you had to keep them in decent health to observe them. So you got up, placing your body between them. They quickly put their fists down, although Levi’s got dangerously close to your face, his knuckles so close they tickled your cheek. The intensity of battle fizzled instantly, and Levi touched a sore spot on his chin. Looking right past you, the blue-haired boy scowled. “You’ve got 24 hours, Mammon, you hear me? If you don’t, I’m taking this straight to Lucifer!” He went to leave, but then turned around to add something else in. “I’m sure he would compensate me by letting me sell your dumb bike!” Again, he went to the door...and again, he stopped to add another comment. “And-and forget about me lending you money ever again!” Finally, he slammed the door behind him. Which meant that finally the fighting was over with. Peace and--

Someone took you by the shoulders, giving you a shake. Every nerve in your spine sparked, the feeling of being touched burning you up and leaving you chill all at once. You slapped the hands off your body and took a good few steps back. “Are you an absolute idiot?!” Mammon yelled.

Who was he to talk to you like that? “Excuse me?”

“Struttin’ up and steppin’ right in the middle of a fight, did you wanna get hit?!” He outstretched his hand, ready to move your head. “Did he land one on ya?”

Blocking him, you used your arm to cover your face. “Don’t touch me.” The words came out harsh and yet desperate. You didn’t mean to sound so emotional. They left your chest heavy, and apparently the human picked up on it. He backed up, his arms dropping. He turned his head away from you with a snap of his tongue.

“Damn it! How am I supposed to pay him back by tomorrow?!” Mammon started pacing, the wheels in his head visibly turning. “First I lose my precious Golide, I can’t lose Ruby!” He really was near crying over this. He verbally shouted out ideas, most of which were getting more loans from others to pay off the one to his brother. Not a smart option. But, somehow he came to an even worse conclusion. “I’ll just have to gamble it back!” Suddenly he looked excited. “Today is a lucky day, I can feel it! That way, I get to have fun and Levi gets his money back! Win win!” Or a lose/lose, if he, you know, loses. But that aspect didn’t seem to even dawn on him. “Come on, get dressed!”

You blinked. “Huh?”

“Well, you’re coming with me, aren’t ya? Don’t you want to get out for a bit? I haven’t even seen you out of this room once, made me completely forget about ya!” He laughed, every bit of negative emotion gone from his body once the addiction of gambling was rushing through his veins. Without even really giving you a choice, he was opening your suitcases which you hadn’t bothered to unpack, handing you an outfit. “Come on, come on! I do better with someone there watching me!” Were all humans this into invading personal space, or was it just him? “It’ll be fun! I’ll show you my home away from home!”

Your top eyelid started to twitch. “Don’t you have someone else to drag around?” It was meant to be spiteful, maybe a bit hurtful to get him to go away, but he just slowed. Then a familiar hue clouded his bright eyes, dulling them. A color you knew too well, the color that stained your soul. The loneliness of isolation.

He shook his head, and although you could feel a bit of his aura cry, he just smiled. “Nah, n-not many people are good enough to hang out with the Great Mammon! So-so be thankful I’m inviting you along!” It was demanding, brash, boarding on rude, but yet it came off to you like a beg.

It nearly churned your stomach at the thought of casually spending time with a human...but...those were your commands. You couldn’t hole yourself up in this room forever. At some point you’d be expected to hand in your findings, to try to restore these brothers to see if humanity was capable of change. You turned over the human clothes in your hand, the style of them vastly different than you remembered human fashion being. Sighing out of your nose, you gave in. “Fine.” His expression almost blinded you as badly as the sun.

It was very clear to you that there wasn’t going to be a single mode of human transportation that you enjoyed. They were all loud, bumpy, and the smell of metal and plastic that stayed in your nose and settled on your tongue made you gag. Mammon, however, was extremely enthusiastic about them. He had brought you to a special room of the home called a ‘garage’ , a special resting room for the family’s many...many vehicles. Each sibling seemed to have just one car, but Mammon had a few. He had waved you over to his specific end of the large room, gesturing to--as he referred to them-- his treasures. A bright yellow low-set sleek one that he named ‘Amber’, a tall black one with a carriage for storage attached to it--called a truck apparently, but he just called it ‘Ob’. But the one he adored most was one that looked vastly different to the others. This was Ruby, the one Levi threatened to sell in exchange for the missing loan.

Although, if you were being honest, you didn’t understand why Mammon didn’t let him. “It’s broken,” you claimed.

“What?! My baby?!” He left your side immediately, scouring over it, his eye scanning over every inch of the thing. “What are you talking about? She looks fine.”

Was he blind? You pointed to it. “It’s missing two wheels. All your other motorized vehicles have four.”

Waving a hand at you, he scowled. “Don’t joke around about something like that! I thought you were serious for a second!” I was serious...Oh well...It wasn’t anything you wanted to concern yourself with. He threw his legs up over the bright red two-wheeled thing, sitting on it like one might a horse. After he fiddled with it for a second, it roared to life. The sound pounding in your head, meanwhile, Mammon was thrilled. “Ah, yeah!” The machine continued to make this deafening deep...scream. You brought your hands up to cover your ears. Did they like the noise? Was basic human hearing so dull that they didn’t find it inconvenient at all? “Come on! The sooner we get to a casino, the sooner I can get more monay!” Isn’t it supposed to be Levi’s money? Mammon seemed adamant that you join him on the...Ruby. You shook your head, and with a little frown, Mammon turned the infernal thing off. “What, are you motion sick or something? Usually people would die to take a ride on a bike like this! With me!”

“Do you have something quieter?”

Dismounting the bike, he pulled a ring of keys out of his pocket. He clicked a button and the black truck lights flashed. “I’m already startin’ to regret this. You’re a buzzkill, you know that don’t you? And here I thought Lucifer was the one who didn’t know what fun was like.” He opened the door and hoisted himself up into the car. It already sounded much quieter than Ruby. It still rumbled and made your heart leap, but it seemed steady. It appeared to you that luckily most cars operated the same way, so you remembered how to pull the handle to open the door. Settling yourself in the seat, you shut the opening behind you, trying to calm your already churning stomach. Waiting for the thing to start moving, you braced yourself, but the truck stayed motionless. “Hey, man, I know I just called you a buzzkill and all, but I can’t afford another ticket right now, so seatbelts on.”

You could only understand about half of those words. Trying to blend in with the human world was going to be harder than you thought. Maybe some studying was in order...But you had to come up with some sort of excuse that made it appear as if you knew what he was telling you. “I don’t have one.”

It was practically an insult that he looked at you with such disappointment. “Come on, playing dumb won’t work on me, Lucifer’s already pissed from the last time I got pulled over.” Individually the words themselves made sense, but the phrases were almost gibberish to you. Taking too long trying to piece things together, Mammon sighed, leaned over, much too close to you, reaching behind your head. He tugged on an extending fabric, pulled it across your body and attached it to a clasp near your hip. As it fastened, it clicked. A seat belt. Strange. Why was it necessary for them to restrain themselves like this? “Rule number one about hanging out with Mammon,” the human started pulling a similar belt around him. “When you’re in my car, I’m in charge!” He hit a button, extremely loud music pouring out of every corner of the car, making the entire carriage thump. Screaming to be heard above the audio, he tugged on a lever in the middle. “Whoo! Roulette, here I come!” Your insides lurched as the front of the room lifted open and Ob moved forward.

Off in the distance, two adolescent humans were pushing each other around, speaking much too loudly about idiotic things. The car a little ways to the right of you had a human with long hair and tired eyes sucking on a piece of metal, blowing smoke out of their mouth. And as lines of more vehicles chugged on, and people talked in ways you didn’t comprehend, it started to hit harder how far you were away from home. This was a foreign land, filled with sins and distractions at every corner. And...food dipped in liquid apparently. As you raised the bag, you felt the slick underside of it rub off against your fingers. “Oi, oi, oi, oi, don’t be like my brother and get greasy fingerprints all over the place! I just got Obby detailed!”

You placed the bag in your lap. “I thought this machine was named Ob?”

He smiled to himself. “Ob, Obby, they’re the same. Technically, it’s Obsidian, but I like to give ‘em nicknames you know? Anyways, I ain’t like Lucifer, you can eat, but just be careful, ya hear!” He reached a hand into his own bag while the other hand was on the directional wheel. He pulled out a...fried stick and put it in his mouth. Mammon had stopped by...it was called a drive-through. At least you were starting to get the hang of their fairly straightforward naming system. You didn’t want anything, but apparently he got you something anyway. You didn’t even know what was in here, and honestly you were a little scared to find out. It was...dare you say, rather polite of him to consider feeding you. “Lucifer’s gotta give me my card back for sure! For looking after you so nicely and all! You better be thankful! I don’t do this stuff for anyone, just so you know!” And of course his ego ruined the gesture completely. Every action he made was a move to get him closer to more material gain.

Appetite was lost on you, not that this sickly human food was appealing anyway. It was all too much. The stimuli of everything was driving you mad. You put the bag beside you, leaning against the inside of the car, trying not to notice the seatbelt and how suffocating it all felt.

Suddenly, the deafening music turned down. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? You’re not feeling sick are ya? No being sick in my treasure!”

You were sick. Sick of all this. “I want to go home.”

Something about that must’ve resonated with him. He sighed, turning his head to look out the window. “Ah, geez…” Quickly, the mood turned awkward. “Hey, I mean, I can always turn around if you want.”

“Not your home. Mine.”

Mammon remained quiet at that, something that seemed like a rarity for him. It didn’t last for too long though. “They said your folks died, or something like that right?”

The lie the prince had come up with nearly made you laugh. You let out a single scoff instead. “Something like that.”

Even though you hadn’t been around Mammon for too long, he ended up surprising you. “That sucks, man...Listen...I-I know what it’s like.” The tone of his voice sounded uncertain, like this had been the first time in a long time that he’d been honest, vulnerable. The pitch was unsteady, struggling to try something on that he hadn’t worn in ages. “Losing someone...it stays with ya. Broke my family apart...if you can even call us that anymore nowadays. Once she was gone, we all found a different way to fill in the gaps.” There was humanity in him yet, buried deep beneath heavy sorrow. “But you know what helped me out the most?” You raised your head, actually wanting to look at him for the first time since you’d known him. Mammon pulled up into a lot littered with a bunch of other human cars. Just as you glanced at him, the goodness and seriousness in him retracted. He glanced out the window at a large shiny building. His particular “fill” he had mentioned had such a tight grip on him, it was hard to tell if he understood how much it controlled him. The lights of the casino hypnotized him, erasing any sense of despair that lingered in him. Or perhaps covering it up was a better explanation. This was no cure. “There’s nothing quite like a casino! Trust me,” He patted you on the shoulder. “Play a few games and you’ll forget that you wanted to go home in the first place!” Ob turned off, the shudder of the frame dying. Mammon hopped out of the car without a second thought, treading towards the entrance, leaving you behind. For a moment there had been awareness, a connection. Now, there was only one thing on his mind. Greed.

There were two options for you. Stay in this stuffy thing or follow the human inside. Neither were great options, unluckily. However, now your curiosity was piqued. Was it truly possible for this Morningstar to change? But did you have the patience to try? Maybe this was your own gamble. You landed on the solid grown below, making sure to remember to shut the door behind you. The bright white hair of the human was in your sights for only a second before he was engulfed in a crowd. At the worst, it might be fun to watch him fail...So inside you went.

If you thought outside was overstimulating, you were drastically underprepared for the contents of a human casino. Screens were flashing, noises rang out from every single inch, the carpet was almost louder than the buzzing in your ears. The aroma of tainted beverages and smoke sent your vision swirling. People bumped into you, some blind from crying, some far too lost in their indulgences to notice you were there. Mammon was gone. But even amongst all these attacks on your senses, there was one feeling that rose among them all. The presence of demons. You should’ve known a place like this where people sold their soul for the rush of a Jackpot would be where your kind thrived.

Knowing your luck, today would be the day Mammon lost more than the pot. You had to find him, quickly.

A circle of hell…this is what this had to be right? An hour had passed and still no sign of the cursed human. The only thing you kept note of was the same dumb sign that promoted some sort of membership that was obviously a borderline scam. You had seen it three times already…you were walking in circles. It wasn’t your fault! This place was a maze, a blinking, haze filled maze. You were running out of options, as well as sanity.

A large bulky man stood against the wall, keeping an eye over the many glossy-eyed consumers. You headed up to him. It took a second for him to notice you staring. “Yeah?”

“Have you seen a white-haired man, about this tall,” you moved your arm to about where he was against your own height. “Wearing a brown jacket?”

The man huffed out a laugh. “You think I remember everyone that walks past me? Listen, I’m just here making sure people behave. I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

Useless. Turning your back on the human, you walked off again, head on a swivel. Your eyes spotted a woman, still sober, also looking around for someone, maybe she’d spotted who you were searching for instead. Coming up behind her, you didn’t wait this time for them to notice you. “Excuse me?”

“Hm?” Brown curls bounced across her forehead.

“I’m looking for someone. Have you seen-“

The woman’s attention left yours, looking up past you. “Oh, there he is!” Following her gaze, you looked over your shoulder to see someone else entirely. Someone who was without a doubt not Mammon. Without listening to the rest of your question, she brushed you off, matching strides with the person she had found. So annoying…

Then a warm sounding voice pricked your ears. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help but overhear.” A different human man approached, someone with shaggy light brown hair with eyes to match, the shadow of a fresh growing beard darkening his jawline. His black leather jacket hung loose off his body, a few sizes too big, like it wasn’t his. Not to mention it smelled of cologne and cigarettes. “You’re looking for someone? I might’ve seen them, I’m good with faces.” His smile was wide and spotless, so flirtatiously perfect you had your doubts about him.

But any help would be worth it at this juncture. “White hair, golden brown eyes, a -“

“Mammon Morningstar, right?” The answer was so sudden. “He’s in here all the time, it’s hard to not remember him, you know? Well, that and he happens to be a good friend of mine.” The lungs in your chest stopped as soon as he put his arm around your shoulders. “Tell you what, why don’t we go find him together?” The mysterious helper started dragging you forward, and as he did, a few other people pulled away from their spots in the background, carefully weaving through the crowd, trying not to seem as if they were following you...but they were. Everything in you was tempted to tear the human off of you by his arm and chuck him into the nearest machine...but that would garner attention. “You know, it’s weird…” your escort wondered. “I’m really good with faces, and yet, I can’t seem to recall seeing yours. Where are you from?”

As blandly as you could, you gave him a completely honest half-answer. “Not here.”

The man laughed. “Oh, good!” Then he turned his questions in a different direction. “How long have you known Mammon? Because he hasn’t...ever mentioned someone like you before...and Mammon tells me everything.” The amusement was sour, bitter, just like this human’s soul. Simeon had been shocked when he’d discovered you’d never taken a mortal soul. But how could you when they were always so...revolting?

Your fondness for humans had already sunken to the bottom, but somehow you found yourselves wishing to be annoyed by Mammon rather than this…human in devil’s clothing. ”You’re asking all about me, and yet, I don’t know a single thing about you. What’s your name?”

Never give a magical being your name, that was the first thing legends taught humans, at least, the last time you visited they did. Either legends had long but died out, or this human was cocky enough to pass out his name to you on a silver platter. “It’s Cory.” As soon as he handed himself to you, demonic insight did the rest. Glimpses of terrible secrets, of all the wrong he had done in his life. What greed and anger had encouraged him to do. He was dangerous, and this human had Mammon centered in his focus. “But all my friends just call me Cash. So feel free to call me that too, yeah?” You opened your mouth, ready to finally get rid of this pest and drag Mammon to his house if you had to, but Cody’s arm left you. Outstretched, he moved away from your side to greet another familiar face. “There’s my Golden Boy!”

Standing in front of a table, rattling around dice in his palm, Mammon stopped himself from rolling them. At the sound of Cody’s voice, his shoulders tensed, his expression losing it’s playful tone. Cody’s hand’s gripped Mammon’s shoulders as he came up behind him. “C-Cash, fun-funny seeing ya here!”

It was obvious ‘Cash’ also wanted to avoid unwanted attention, although anger started to darken his eyes at the sight of his ‘good friend’. Ignoring the stuttering, Cody smiled. “How’s it going? Winning anything?”

Confidence faltering, Mammon tried to chuckle. “N-not yet.”

Three of the bodies that had been shadowing you and Cody stood directly behind you, far too close for comfort. There was something odd about their presence...You were picking up a smell, something you were sure human’s couldn’t possess. Yet, each of the humans behind you possessed something that was shockingly similar to dragon’s breath… Leaning in a bit closer to Mammon, Cash let some of his true colors show. “Well, I sure hope you start winning something soon.”

Another loaner had come to collect his dues.

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lafox · 3 years

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RE:ID Rant! /SPOILERS/

I just finished watching Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness and made some scene pack which you can find here.

I’m not the biggest fan of putting my opinion out there on the internet but I'll try to write my opinion while still be careful.

NO HATE TO ANY CHARACTER LISTED BELLOW THANK YOU!

Anyhow, I need to talk about it!

First of all, amazing character design and rendering. All the characters looks amazing and I adore the little details, for example, Leon's little head twitch or look at the president’s facial details. I think we all agree that they aced in that department. (will talk more about that subject after character analysis)

Now, the plot... the plot.

Look in all honesty it was a nice plot but i felt it went a bit too fast, not enough build up and stuff. I don't have much to say on it, only a few default on the characters and why and how things happen but I'll talk about that through character analysis.

Okay, about our main character Leon.

He was badass, I'm so surprised he knew what to do in the submarine, honestly that was a good scene I was really anxious for him. He did care for the people around him but I didn’t get that sweet side of him like he had in RE2 or in DAM, I'm saying this because even if he saw Shen May’s brother, he didn’t have the empathy of his last wishes, like Shen May basically said: “He doesn’t want this to happen again and that why this *the chip* can help us.” And what annoys me the most and that both the ‘villain's’ didn’t deserve to die so the least he could do is to not make it *the virus* happen again.

I am revolted at Leon for not giving the chip to Claire, not even telling the president about this shit! LIKE BRO. Also denying Claire, thinking he knows best?! Excuse me but Claire literally interviews people, she knows the Press! Anyhow, Annoyed...

Now let’s talk about Claire.

My girl Claire! They made her a side character that didn’t have much to add only confirmation to our suspicions which is good yes, but it isn’t Claire’s job, she deserve a much bigger role in the RE universe! I get it, she was also a ‘side’ character in RE2 and Leon is the star but still tho! She did give #girlboss energy which I am LIVING for! She was stunning! her character design and CGI was beautiful and I've seen a lot of people saying that she is ‘ugly as shit’ as i quote. I’m sorry but she looks realistic and you are going to cry about it? She is around her mid-tweenies, maybe around 27 and you gonna tell me that her being realistic is ‘ugly as shit’?! Yeah nah sorry pal, go and like Shen May (no hate to her, she is gorgeous) then and not our OG Girl Claire!

Claire deserved a bigger role and she is smart, like she is fucking smart! She almost decoded everything before the agents came and kidnap her, one of many reasons she should’ve had a bigger role! (Also please, your hand in marriage Claire ilysm)

Next on the list is Jason.

Okay, I'm sorry but i am in love with him.

I’m sorry okay! He fits the dilf characteristics and I cant-

Anyhow back to analysis.

I feel horrible, he didn’t deserve to die, the man had serious mental illness and PTSD involved, they showed that but they killed him off. Why? Because he wanted to stop the virus from ever happening by his own ways? Even if it is a violent way, there is still, there was a logical and reasonable. Honestly i think and/or probably, a lot of people might relate to him and Shen Mei, because he has PTSD and mental health issues and Shen Mei lost someone close to her and they are both trying to make the world better, in their own way and for Capcom to kill them both is such a shame..

Jason is such a badass tho like.. damn~ He was really well written as a side character, like, I enjoyed when he was on screen (Maybe because i like him but whatever)

Last but not least, Shen Mei!

I’m gonna be real and probs a lot of people are not going to like this but she was the least prominent character for me, like, yes she stands out a bit but for at least 2 episode she is.. just there and having little dialogue. But i did enjoy her twist, i felt like all that nothing from her was worth in someway. She is definitely #girlboss *chef kiss* and i can relate to her on a deeper level. I enjoyed that she silent for 2 episode because i can relate that she doesn’t talk, that she only listen and observes. I enjoy how she will do anything to help the people she love and that think that's what make Shen Mei a great character! Overall i did enjoy her character and i think her side role is very well placed with her personality.

CGI and Rendering Rant

I need to talk about the amount of details in the male characters but lack of it for female characters... You can see how, The President, Jason or Leon have detail, you can see their pores on their skin, you can see their history and age through those CGI detail on their skin and others but.. Claire or Shen May, their skin is perfect. They do have a few details under her eyes but no pores, no small wrinkles, nothing. I think that's a shame. Shen Mei looks absolutely perfect, you cannot tell me that there is any default on her. I think that is marketing.. what I mean is that Shen Mei is an attraction for people to watch REID. She is absolutely stunning and has no default.

I was talking with a friend of mine that studies human biology and we were talking about those details, we went on the subject of the women representation and rendering and we both suspect makeup is involve. What i am saying is that Capcom doesn’t show those pores because : Makeup.

It can be a valid point. Exhibit A is Shen Mei eyelashes and slight makeup, she is meeting the President after all. So of course she would whip out some makeup. (I know i would.) Shen Mei eye Lashes are way longer longer than Claire’s which would go back to out theory of make up.

Photo comparation:

Claire in her hotel room.

Shen Mei in the submarine. You might think that it’s not convincing enough but keep in mind that Shen Mei is looking up as her head is downwards!

Coming back to skin. In the last two picture, yes, you can see pours and details of the face of Shen Mei but i want to talk about normal viewing of the two character VS male character same view point.

Photo comparation:

The girls, looking perfect (ily both sm)

Leon at the (almost) same camera leveling and depth and you see way more characteristic then other female character even when Leon and Claire are around the same age. But they did nail it when the camera was close on both women.

Adding a note that Claire does show a it of characteristics, more than Shen Mei and the we get people calling her ‘Ugly as shit’ for having a realistic face.

Maybe Shen Mei is younger, Probably and surely but I'm 18, i have facial characteristics. the only thing that is realistic is her beauty spot which is a really nice touch I love it.

Anyhow i think I'm done talking about it.

I enjoyed watching the show and i was excited for it! i hope everyone enjoyed it! Also I love all the character, I'm not bullying them or critic them for their physic or anything else! I’m just ranting about things that was ‘negative’ only because i enjoyed so many aspect of it that the post would be longer aahh.

A few positives I will list are:

Camera angles (immerced)

Character movement (No awkward movement or glitch)

Motion blur (None sickening blur, right place Motion blur)

Lighting (Accurate lighting, not forgetting lighting through hair, ear etc)

Animation (Overall fucking amazing like holy shit)

Tension (Performed very well through animation and plot)

Emotion and facial expression ( I could write a whole essay on that, that’s how well they did it)

I think that's it :)

I hope you enjoyed me rambling on about this, i will write soon I've just had a holiday! scheduled writing around the end of next week!

-Chlo

#resident evil #resident evil infinite darkness #re #leon s kennedy #claire redfield #jason #shen mei

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goldentsum · 4 years

Text

━ the bitterness of falling in love

PAIRING: bokuto x reader

GENRE: angst, smut

SUMMARY: 𝙗𝙤𝙠𝙪𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪 is someone who wears his heart on his sleeves and someone who loves too much even if the other person doesn’t deserves it. when he falls in love with the infamous l/n y/n who’s known to leave people crying, he took his chance and put his heart on the line.

ALTERNATIVE SUMMARY: “hearts are made to be broken, kou.” “if it is then i wouldn’t mind, (y/n). it’s okay if you break my heart.”

WORDCOUNT: 4.6k

TAGS: toxic behavior, smut, angst, fuck buddies, obsessive themes, manipulative tendencies, praising, sub-ish! bokuto, asshole! reader, riding, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving with a little of male receiving too), bokuto loves you too much...

WARNING: do not proceed if you are easily triggered. do not romanticize this behavior. this type of relationship is toxic and should not be viewed as normal. also, WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this turned long tf? okay... sinful and messy with angst just how we like it huee~ i hope you liked this fuck-girl spin off~ <3

Bokuto knows that he shouldn’t love too much, he knows but he can’t really help it. He just pours so much emotion to everything he does and it’s both his strength and weakness. People can take advantage of that, he knows. Bokuto may wear his heart on his sleeves but he’s not an idiot as much as people like to think and just he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind that people can take advantage of him, he just wants to share his love and emotions with others.

“Bokuto- san, are you getting the hang of the new quick?” Hinata asked, drinking his water as they finished their practice. Bokuto looked at the shorter male, a wide toothy grin on his face, and huffed his chest in confidence.

“Of course, Hinata! I’m Bokuto Koutarou, your senpai, after all!” He boasted while Atsumu and Sakusa watched the scene in the corner.

“Geez, talk about ego.” Atsumu commented, wiping his sweat off. Sakusa scoffed at Atsumu’s words and walked away but not without saying, “You’re one to talk, Miya.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean, Omi!”

Bokuto and Hinata watched Atsumu chase after Sakusa with his sweaty small face towel while the latter cringed in disgust. Bokuto then ignored them, turning to Hinata with a grin.

“Neh, Hinata~ Tell coach I’ll go on first, okay~ I have to meet up with someone,” Bokuto said, a small tint of blush on his face. Hinata looked at him for a moment with confusion but nodded. Once the shorter male responded, Bokuto thanked him and raced to his things, packing up and went straight for the door with a loud goodbye.

“What’s wrong with ‘im?” Atsumu asked, stopping next to Hinata and draped an arm on the shorter male’s head.

“I don’t know but Bokuto-san looks happy”

Bokuto hurried his way to his girlfriend’s apartment, oh he meant his friend with benefits... He doesn’t like this arrangement, not one bit. but if this is the only way he can be close to you then he’ll take it. He’ll take any chances just to be close to you even if it means that he’ll end up hurting.

The tall sweaty male was breathing heavily when he arrived at your apartment but his smile was unwavering, happy that after these past few days he could be with you again.

Bokuto raised his hand to ring your doorbell but the door suddenly opened, surprising him. His smile slowly dropped when he saw that it wasn’t you but an unknown male exiting your apartment.

“Oh, sorry dude.” The unknown male muttered then walked on his way out, letting Bokuto hold the door open. Wide golden eyes trained on the unknown male, observing him. He had curly brown hair, pale-ish skin, tall and lanky with a black outfit on. He was the complete opposite of Bokuto.

Bokuto ignored the voices in his head, trying to shake off the negative thoughts that started to corrupt his mind. His whole cheerful mood slowly diminished, he lowered his head while his thoughts ran like crazy. But he ignored it, he cleared his throat and widened his wobbly smile, picking his head back.

He walked in your apartment, calling out to you. “(Y/n)? I’m here! Are you still up for some food or did you change your mind?”

You yawned and went to your kitchen where you saw Bokuto in your hallway, removing his shoes with his usual smile. Your mind started working again and your brows furrowed in thought, rubbing your nape

“Oh shit... That was today?” You muttered, your fingers pinching your nose bridge in slight annoyance. Bokuto’s smile faltered, his once shining eyes began to dim, but once again he covered it up.

“It’s okay, (Y/n)-chan! We can reschedule if you want!” He suggested, stopping his movements to remove his other shoe. Bokuto straightened up when you looked over to him and he showed you his grin as if telling you it is alright.

You sighed and shook your head, “Nah, it’s okay. I’ll change.” You answered after a while. Your tone was cold and it was as if you were gonna do something you didn’t want to do but was roped into. Your disinterested figure disappeared into your bedroom, leaving Bokuto alone.

Bokuto finished removing his other shoe in silence, his teeth biting his lower lip. He left like shit. Like some trash to make someone act like hanging out with him was a chore and like he was wasting their time. If it was anyone else, they can shove their opinion about him up their ass but yours was something far more valuable than anything in the world.

He finished removing his shoes and walked in your kitchen, grabbing a glass to fill it up with water. He even forgot to change his clothes and fill his water bottle because of how fast he raced to you.

“(Y/n), can I change my clothes in your bathroom?” Bokuto asked, going through his bag after he drank water and put the glass in your sink.

“Yeah whatever” He heard your quiet response in your bedroom. He pursed his lips and went to the bathroom to change. The bathroom smelt like you. Your shampoo and body-wash filled the small room. Bokuto smiled at the familiar scent and started changing his clothes.

When he finished, he looked in the mirror. Bokuto observed himself. Now, he wasn’t one to be cocky but people always said that he was handsome and the ‘perfect’ man or whatever that meant but why? Why don’t you think that-?

He tried everything just to catch your attention but nothing got you. He tried to mold himself into your ideal type from what he heard about you. He changed his wardrobe, his hair (once), and even his personality a bit. When you told him that you hate childish people who whine about things, he suppressed everything in him to not be whiny and annoy you. Bokuto wanted to be mature for you. Just for you.

“Oy, Koutarou. Why are you taking so long? You died in there or something?” Your voice was a bit muffled on the other side of the door. Bokuto snapped out of his train of thoughts and smiled at the door.

“’Course not! You wouldn’t get rid of me that easily, (Y/n)!” He said, going out of the bathroom and stood face to face with you. You looked at Bokuto from head to toe and nodded in approval with a small smile.

“You clean up nice, Kou”

Bokuto beamed at the compliment also noticing that your mood had gotten better than before. He giggled softly, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and nuzzled his face on top of your head.

“I’m glad... It’s all for you...” He whispered lovingly. Bokuto felt you tense a bit and you started to move away from him. He pouted at that but released you, knowing that it might dampen your mood again if he became clingy right now.

“Yeah yeah. Let’s go then, lover boy.” You said, clearing your throat as you dismissed his words. Bokuto smiled sadly at you and you felt his eyes on you but you didn’t look at him, going to the door to wear your shoes with Bokuto following you like a lost puppy.

He sighed a bit, his small disheartened smile on his lips while he followed your actions.

This is okay... I’m happy just to be with her...

Bokuto’s and your ‘relationship’ continued with the former reminding himself that the situation can’t get better and that is his only shot with you. It was okay that he was hurting, at least he can be with the one he loves, right?

Though his mood was noticeable, the Black Jackals saw that there was something wrong going on. His fake smile was getting too easy to read, his shaky smile present in his face as he tried to put on his usual dazzling smile. Eyebags surround his exhausted golden eyes. Bokuto was slowly losing sleep with all his thoughts these past few days.

“Bokuto-san? A-Are you okay?” Hinata quietly asked the dazed male who looked at empty space. Bokuto looked at him with a tight weary smile and nodded, “Y-Yeah... I’m just tired, Hinata”

“I think you should get some sleep, Bokuto-san...” Bokuto chuckled a bit at the younger’s words and nodded once again, “I will after practice don’t worry”

he lied

Bokuto slept for about 30 minutes but woke up after a dreamless sleep. He groaned when he looked at the clock, the ticking was getting on his nerves.

3 am

And then a small ding came, his tired eyes widened in eagerness and a grin crept up on his face as he opened the text.

𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦: 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 (𝐲/𝐧) 🥺

If it was 3 am then maybe you would text him again for him to come over. This was your usual time where you ring his cell up, even though he was dead tired, the thought of you hitting him up and telling him that you need him was making his heart flutter. A smile started to fill up his lips unconsciously.

Bokuto got his phone and scrolled through his inbox, checking if you texted him already. He refreshed continuously as if it would make your awaited text come faster.

[₃:₂₁ ₐₘ]: 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘬𝘰𝘶. 𝘪’𝘮 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘥

Your text message was fucking dry as ever but did Bokuto cared? no. He only cared that you texted him after another week without any trace of you. He was just happy that you finally texted him after a while, emotions clouding his judgement once again.

Bokuto sat up and texted you back quickly, confirming that he will go to you asap. After that, he threw his phone on the bed and freshened up. Going to his closet, he picked a black tee and jeans and sprayed a bit of cologne that he knows you liked. He got his phone, keys, and wallet and he was off to you. A lovesick smile on his face.

He arrived at your apartment in a jiffy, excited to see you, and rang your doorbell. Bouncing a bit on his feet while he waited for you. When the door opened, he saw wearing a short bodycon black sweater exposing your legs and neck with a bit of your collarbones.

“Well, that was fast. A new record, Kou” You teased with a small smirk. Bokuto became putty at the sound of your voice and seeing you in front of him after loathing in self-pity and depreciating, it was like an elephant removed one of its feet on his chest.

Bokuto missed you so much and you’re so gorgeous, it hurts him. He just couldn’t control himself as he gulped, waking closer to you and hugged you tight in his chest, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent. your sweet scent made his head dizzy, letting you and your scent engulf his whole being.

“I missed you so much, (Y/n)... You don’t know how much I miss you” He muttered on top of your head as he walked you two in the apartment while his one hand closed the door. Bokuto hurriedly removed his shoes with his feet and pressed you against the wall. He started to kiss up and down your throat, teeth grazing the soft skin on your neck. Your cold hands went up to his messy hair, nails scratching his scalp sending shivers down his spine while you disregard his words.

“You drive me crazy, (Y/n)...” Bokuto continued, now against your neck, body pressed against yours. The feeling of the cold wall on your back and Bokuto’s warm body was slowly getting to you. You raised your leg up to his hip and pulled him closer to you. You felt his semi hard-on through his jeans as Bokuto pressed himself in your heat, slowly grinding up to you.

“Shit, Kou... You feel so good” You let your lips touch his ear, your hot breath against the sensitive skin. Bokuto whined a bit at your teasing, your hands descending to feel his muscular chest, nails trailing on his clothed chest.

He leaned away from your bruised neck to look at you, wild dilated eyes staring straight into you. You smirked up at him, fluttering your lashes so prettily and hooked your finger in his belt hoops, pulling him again to you. The action made your pressed groins to have some friction.

Bokuto's eyes fluttered shut and lips parted slightly at the small pleasure, you smirked at his reaction. His reaction will always be your favorite. He was just too easy to play with, just a wag of your finger, he's gonna be looking at you with utmost admiration like a loyal mutt and that’s why you kept him longer than most of your other arrangements.

You captured his lips in a hot kiss, your tongue going inside his mouth without permission though the small thrust of his hips indicated that he’s not really complaining. His warm hands went to your thighs, gripping you in a tight hold and carried you with ease, letting you wrap your thighs around his hips. Your arms wrapping around his neck, tongue working in a frenzy motion, wet, sloppy, and messy. so messy.

Bokuto carried you to the bedroom, careful of his movement to not bump into any furniture. He laid you down in the plush bed, muscular body covering yours. His hands wandered and went in your sweater, caressing your upper thighs.

You released his lips, looking at him. Lips, red and swollen and so wet. Half-lidded dark golden eyes staring at you, switching from your eyes to your red lips. Despite the tense sexual atmosphere around you two, he placed a soft kiss on your cheek which surprised you.

You looked at him with confusion but Bokuto only smiled at you and then proceeded to kiss down your throat, to your collarbones and then knelt on the floor.

Bokuto kissed your plush thighs lovingly, hands moving to let your legs so he can rest it on his shoulders. Your eyes met when he looked up at you, he once again smiled at you.

“I’ll take care of you, (y/n)” He said tenderly, a sweet smile on his lips. Rough hands pushed your sweater up, bunching it up on your upper stomach. Golden eyes admired the sight in front of him. Soft skin presented to him, cute and soft thighs loosely wrapped around his head and your pussy covered by a pair of dainty red panties.

Bokuto reached up, caressing your covered pussy with the back of his fingers and felt the wet cloth on his skin. A small curse escaped him when he saw you sighed and your eyes fluttered close. He moved closer to your cunt, feeling your heat. His tongue peaked out and licked a long stripe on your covered cunt, dampening your panties with his saliva and your essence. He continued to lick you through the thin cloth. With his tongue pointy, he circled your clit gently. Your hand went straight to his hair, pulling him closer to you.

The two-toned haired male sucked you through your panties, tasting you a bit. Releasing your clothed cunt, he looked at the darkened patch on your underwear, courtesy of his spit and your wetness.

Impatiently, he removed your panties and quickly settled back in his position after helping you remove it. He looked at your pussy, admiring it, licking his lips, wanting to eat you more than ever. You sighed impatiently when nothing happened for a moment.

“Koutarou just fucking eat me out already” You groaned, grumpy, and jerked your hips to get him to start. Bokuto smiled at your actions and flattened his tongue, tasting you fully. He moaned at your taste and like a starved man, he ate you out like you’re his last meal.

Tongue flicked your clit so expertly making your thighs slightly closed instinctively around his head but that only encouraged Bokuto, who now started to eat you out more aggressively. Your breath quickened at his actions, grinding on his tongue as it rubbed your bundle of nerves. He then inserted his tongue in you, thrusting and licking your velvety walls.

He released his grip from your thighs as one hand went to fondle puffy your clit while his tongue fucked into you. His tongue slick in your warmth and you pressed your pussy on his tongue to get him deeper. Pushing his face closer, you could feel him nudging you faster to your climax. With steady thrusting of his tongue and the rough rubs he gave your clit, your orgasm washed over you.

“F-Fuck--!”

You started to jerk into his hold, moaning loudly and grinding your heat in his mouth. Bokuto lets you ride your high, licking you up happily and slurping up your juice. The wet noises so lewd and erotic in the the quiet room.

His other hand went south to palm his hard cock. Noticing this, you stopped his movements which confused Bokuto. He leaned away from your pussy, mouth dripping with your juice and his spit and his breath heavy from all the excitement.

“W-What’s wrong, baby?”

You ignored his words and pulled him up, laying him in the bed, sitting on top of his groin. Bokuto gasped in surprise at your action while you hissed at the sensitivity that coursed through your body but that didn’t stop you. The male also makes no movements to stop you, ready to satisfy you and wanting nothing more than to gain your praises. Whatever you want, he would deliver with no error.

Lust filled eyes followed your figure as you copied his movements earlier, settling between his thick thighs. You unbuttoned his jeans, sliding it off roughly while Bokuto watched you, biting his lip, his body jerking at your rough actions.

Once you got the pesky pants off his body, you admired the thick outline of his hard cock in his boxers. You let your hand drift and started rubbing him through the cloth. Bokuto closed his eyes at the pleasure, his dick was so hard that it really hurts and your soft touch was making him light-headed.

Pulling his boxers off, his dick was fully exposed and was standing tall against his stomach, a large vein running down his length and his head flushed red and was leaking so much precum. You leaned closer and put small kitty licks on the engorged head of his cock, tasting him. Bokuto gulped at the sight of you, red hot blush on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful like this.

“Baby.. Please fuck me..” He panted out, breathing heavily. You smirked up at him, eyes locking. “Since you asked so nicely, how can I deny you, Kou~” You purred, crawling up to take a seat on top of him once again, your pussy rubbing against his hard cock.

“Shit, you feel so good-” Bokuto muttered, warm hands going to your hips, holding you tight. Your own hands hastily took off his tee, wanting to see his muscular chest.

“You look so sexy like this, Kou” You praised, kissing on one of his pecs while you caressed the other, admiring the gorgeous muscles. Bokuto’s lips parted at your praises, hips grinding up at your wet cunt.

You could feel his dick twitching against you making you smile, “You’re really big on praises huh, baby boy?”

“F-Fuck, yes--”

Bokuto’s brows furrowed when you matched his grinding, doubling the pleasure he felt. His grip on your hips tightened, looking at your pussy that was moving against his dick.

“You remembered to bring a condom this time, right Kou?” He freezes at that, looking up with alarmed eyes. You sighed at that, knowing that he forgot again but you were too horny right now and he looks so good under you.

“Fuck it, just fuck me raw baby. I’m on my pill anyway” You muttered, kissing his ear, your tongue traced the shell slowly. Bokuto groaned at your words, feeling really impatient now. He lifted you up a bit to line this dick on your entrance, feeling your wet folds on his sensitive head. Bokuto hid his face on your neck, kissing the bruised skin. He didn’t move after that though, knowing that you were in control right now, not him. You smirked when Bokuto made no other move, mumbling a small praise because he remembered your ‘rules’.

You steadied yourself and slowly sunk down on his thick length, you two moaning in unison at the feeling. You forgot just how big Bokuto was, the sting was always there but god you loved it so much.

Bokuto groans when your wet tight cunt wrapped around him so deliciously. Your soft walls encasing his cock, clenching around him. When he was fully inside you, you winced a bit at the pain and pleasure as his tip nudged your cervix slightly.

Your movements were slow at the beginning, trying to ease the sting but Bokuto didn’t mind and just enjoyed your slow build up, mouth open slightly with his eyes closed and brows furrowed in concentration.

Watching his face, you quickened your pace when the sudden pleasure hit you, shivers running down your spine. The change of pace made Bokuto open his eyes in shock, mouth open into a silent gasp. He let his eyes travel your body, watching you, and one of his hands went up to your breast and thumbed the pebbled nipple.

Your hand covered Bokuto’s and you squeezed your breast, your bouncing never faltering with the male’s other hand supporting you. His fat cock hitting your g-spot perfectly with every bounce you did, your release coming closer than you expected. You chased your pleasure, ignoring Bokuto’s but fuck with the way you were riding him like he was a toy for your own pleasure was getting him closer to his high as well. Your wet pussy sliding on his cock, feeling your tight walls sucking his cock again and again as you ride him.

You let your other hand rest on his chest for leverage, swirling your hips on Bokuto’s dick. Bokuto’s fingers went to your neglected swollen clit, rubbing fast circles making you gasp in surprise and pleasure, looking at him with wide lustful eyes.

“S-Shit, just like that baby... You make me feel so good, Kou--” You whispered, riding him faster and the added clit stimulation Bokuto gave you pushed you off the edge, the coil in your stomach snapped and your orgasm washed over your entire being for the second time. You moaned his name, praising him again and again which encouraged Bokuto’s actions to speed up even more.

Bokuto groaned when you clenched around his cock tightly and taking your hips in on his hold, thrusting up into you vigorously, chasing his own orgasm and letting you ride your own.

With a few sharp pumps, he spilled his load in you, his cum coated your velvety walls with white ropes. “S-Shit, (Y/n)!” You grabbed his face and placed a hard sloppy kiss on his lips, Bokuto groaning on your lips while his hips still moved frantically to ride his high. Tongue swirling with each other, caressing in a frenzy motion.

When his high slowly died down and his thrust came to a stop, you released him from the kiss and slumped on his chest, tired. Bokuto wrapped his arm around your waist, pressing you in his sweaty body. You groaned in discomfort of the heat and sweat but decided to just let Bokuto be.

Silence surrounded you when your harsh uneven breaths died down, the cold air nipping against your skin. Bokuto runs his hand on your back, drawing circles on your skin.

This only really happened with Bokuto, your other friend with benefits never stayed long in your apartment. You always kicked them out right after sex but you guess, Bokuto was a bit special... but it doesn’t mean that you like him or anything. He was just fun to play with, yeah that’s it.

“(Y/n)? You awake?” Bokuto’s unusual soft voice called out. You hummed against his chest but didn’t pick your head up, feeling lazy and tired.

“Can... Can I ask a question?”

“You already did though.”

Bokuto chuckled nervously at your response making you leaned away a bit to look up at him. His golden eyes shone under your soft fluorescent lamp.

“Why do you-- do you like this type of arrangement?” He finally asked after a while of contemplating. You raised a brow at his question, “Why? Do you have a problem with it? If you have, you can always get-”

Bokuto shook his head frantically, not letting you finish your words, “N-No, that’s not what I meant! Just why in general, of course!”

You hummed once again, scanning his expression before continuing, “Love is shit, that’s why. It’s fake and make people believe in it and when they’re in too deep, it shows it’s real colors and hurt you”

Bokuto’s eyes softened at your words, he never thought about that. Who hurt you this bad that they made you lose faith in love?

“Love is beautiful though. Yes, it might not be perfect but it’s beautiful” Bokuto answered back more softly, tucking a loose strand of your hair on your ear with a loving smile on his face while he admired you.

Your heart slowly beat at his actions, looking at Bokuto with uncertainty but you shook your head, getting rid of your thoughts and scoffed.

“Hearts are made to be broken, Kou”

Bokuto’s eyebrows curled in sadness, eyes soft and the fingers that traced your skin stopped for a moment, “if it is then i wouldn’t mind, (y/n). it’s okay if you break my heart.”

Your heart crumpled in guilt at his selfless words for once and you shook your head in disbelief, chuckling fakely, “You’re an idiot, Kou. Don’t do that to yourself”

The two-tone haired male continued to trace your features with sad eyes, a small bittersweet smile on his face as if he accepted it already, “if it means that I can be with you, I’ll do anything, (y/n).”

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu headcanon #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu smut #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader smut #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou smut #bokuto koutarou angst #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto smut #bokuto angst #haikyuu masterlist

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petekaos · 4 years

Note

What did you think about the last episode!!

hi hi! so uhhh... this is going to get long and i’ve combined like 10 other asks i want to address, so your ask may be answered here! if you want Rahul’s Take On The 2gether Finale, then brace yourself.

...I didn't really like the last episode, I feel like it could've been a lot better/more emotional

I dunno if it's because I didn't like the last 2 episodes but even though the show literally finished I'm not emotional? The last episode I felt actually really happy watching was ep 9 but now I'm just 'ok, that show finished.' I'm sad bc I thought I would have a stronger reaction to the ending and them getting back together but I'm just meh :/

Really don't want to sound like those annoying people but damn really no kiss scene

I liked the ending, it was okay I guess but gmmtv better prepare for a shitstorm bc so many people didn't lololol

Honestly the best and well written episodes were ones where they still weren't a couple, like 8 and 9 were amazing

Although the finale was good, I feel llke in the future when I want to rewatch my favorite moments from this series, I will go for the first 10 or so episodes more often than not. It kinda feels like 2gether peaked around episodes 7-10, which is perfectly fine!! It was all in all a great series that did what it wanted to do and I’ll always cherish it but, I probably won’t rewatch much of the last two episodes

They made pam even worse!! Before she had her talk with tine anyway!!

My thoughts on the finale: could've been a lot better, could've been a lot worse

2Gether really felt like a giant inflatable castle that was carefully blown up for the past 12 weeks only to let it rapidly and poorly deflate in the end

The ending was fine and was expected but for me it's underwhelming in the sense that the past episodes, especially 4, 8 and 9 were really written in comparison so the finale is kinda meh bc I knew there was gonna be a happy ending. But still the YouTube comments and what some people on tumblr are saying is ridiculous, I don't want to even think about Twitter but imo I don't think any of gmmtvs other shows can top dbks ending like that ending was perfect,

i honestly love that 2gether focused so much on the story and the emotion and became so successful without all the usual fan service. i hope the whole industry takes something away from that! but i still felt like the finale was a little emotionally stunted when it came to tine/sarawat. i just wanted a big YES, I CHOOSE YOU moment, and tine's reappearance and the bracelet scene just didn't do it for me. you know what would have, though? a kiss. or a hug, or holding hands, or something sweet

okay, my friends! here is my opinion on the 2gether finale first, and then i’m gonna address what i personally hold of the more negative response the fandom has shown. i generally thought the finale had... a solid ending. i went into it with absolutely no expectations apart from sarawat’s song and a happy ending, because i knew it would be messy and not as good as ep 4 or 9 etc, considering the sheer amount of open storylines that were left to be resolved in one episode. i knew it would polarise the fandom--but i personally thought the ending was fine! a bit cliche, a bit rushed, but it was okay and it was a good enough ending for me to put 2gether behind me, the first season at least. the bracelet scenes and shots were amazing, the song was incredible (although i wish they would have had sarawat sing a bit more), the conversation pam and tine had was solid as well! there were a lot of things i liked about the finale and bright and win killed their solo acting as always. however, there are some things i wanna get into more detail about that i feel could have been done better, not only as a finale but as a show itself.

time allocated for the storylines. or: plotlines in general. this has been my bone to pick ever since episode 10. not gonna lie, this wasn’t good, especially from ep 10 onwards. there were so many storylines and plotlines that were dragged out further than necessary, and so many plotlines that should have started earlier. best example for this is mil and phukong, the mil redemption storyline should have started in ep 10 and should have had him be sincere for once, and the mil/phukong storyline should have actually made sense from the beginning and started in ep 11 at the latest. the mantype storyline should have also started a bit earlier than that and given us an explanation as to why type was crying at the retreat. however, mantype did pull it off!

writing! this ties in with the first point. the writing felt a bit inconsistent in the last two episodes and it’s a pity, really, that this is one of the downfalls :/ all the actors in this series, from the mains (bright, win, mike, toptap, frank, drake) to the side characters (gunsmile, love, gigie, film, etc.) are such good actors and it’s unfortunate that the last three episodes were a bit :// in terms of writing and plotlines. they all did the best they could with what was written and that... yeah.

conflict. this has to do with the first two points. the finale felt rushed. that’s something that i don’t think anyone really can argue? and i expected that, so i wasn’t too disappointed by it or anything. obviously it would have felt rushed considering the fact that they had to wrap up 3 or 4 episodes’ worth of storylines in one episode, which was a blunder on the writers’ part. the conflict fell flat, then. if they had had pam come in earlier and had tine and sarawat spend more time away from each other, we would have gotten an explosive reaction. i really do think that after they got together for real, the writers struggled to find conflict to keep the story going, jumping from tine’s insecurities to mil to pam for no reason whatever. i think it would have been much better done if we had mil as an antagonist wrapped up and on the road to redemption in ep 10 and had pam come in there, with tine’s insecurities as a b plot. i feel that would have been a bit more gripping. but, hey, guess that’s just me!

order of filming. this has to do with people saying that brightwin’s chemistry was off in the finale. i don’t think it was off, per se, but it was definitely lacking when we compare it to their chemistry in ep 4 or 9 or 10, y’know? that’s because i believe the finale was filmed earlier, when bright and win were still getting to know each other and figuring out how well they could improv. and they can improv, from what we’ve seen! so there really is nothing i can say apart from the fact that it’s a bit disappointing that they decided to film such a pivotal scene at the beginning. if it had been filmed in the end, it would have definitely been better!

flashbacks. the finale needed all the time it was gonna get, and i am disappointed by the amount of flashbacks they used, honestly. i would have cut down on the number of sarawatine flashbacks and used them sparingly when they reunited, because that just... makes sense and evokes emotion in the viewer, you know? the only flashbacks that served well were type’s view of everything and phukong and mil, because they were new. it just... felt a bit inauthentic.

pam. or: the girls in general. there is nothing i can do here but SCREAM. pam should have come in way earlier and replaced mil as the centre point of conflict for ep 11 and 12 to have been as good as the rest of the show, or ep 4 and 9 at least. her character fell so flat and the conflict she brought with her fell so flat as well, honestly. the girls should have been done better--more of earn and sarawat! more of pear! they could have tied into the plot effortlessly!

mil and phukong x mil. yeah this is a... whole ass bulletpoint, unfortunately. call me a clown all you want for expecting him to have at least a half assed redemption arc in the finale but goddamn was that... not good. really bitter over the fact phukong was straight up okay with being a “replacement” for tine even though... that doesn’t even make sense. i just... yeah, this wasn’t good. i feel super bad for frank and drake because they deserve a well written show or at the very least a well written storyline for all of their chemistry and work they put in, considering the fact that they are so so young. i could go on about a good mil arc for ages but i just... yeah i’m writing a fic, so y’all will see.

the reunion. this stems from the flat conflict and the rushed-ness of it all, but yeah. it wasn’t particularly hard-hitting, but i still enjoyed it because it’s sarawat and tine. this has to do with when they filmed as well, and just... because the angst didn’t start early enough for it to hit home. and i really do wish we’d had a scene after that with the both of them, alone. a lot of their things happen with a lot of people around them... and nah.

one year later. bro. bro. bro. the music club thing was cute! but i would have just... loved to see them alone, y’know? a scene of them being alone and intimate, just sitting next to each other on the couch or at a football game or sarawat continuing bringing the cheerleaders snacks, even a year later. them going to another concert. anything where they were just... alone. i wanted to see them together! we got that with mantype and we even got that fucking... scene on the roof where mil and phukong were just fuckin around? yeah? i would have loved to see that with sarawat and tine so much. (also btw pretty sure the rooftop scenes with mil and phukong is also where drake and frank took this photo and it made me so happy dhsndh like... the shot where mil took his hand off phukong’s eyes? i called it immediately and my partner was like ???)

intimacy. chemistry. the biggest thing everyone is talking about. now comes the part that y’all all wanted to know if you’ve been reading this far lmfao, my take on the fact that was no kiss in the finale! and my take is... i expected there to be no kiss in the finale somewhere deep within, and honestly i’m fine with not having a kiss. my only problems with all of this are first of all, that we didn’t get a proper kiss in the entire series and had sarawat kissing tine one-sidedly. secondly, i would have loved verbal intimacy as well! an i love you, or y’know, some hand holding, anything! this is also due to the fact that i believe the series was filmed relatively early on. i just wish... again, that they would have been alone one year later and we could have just seen them being domestic, as we have already seen them!

so those are some of my thoughts on the finale. considering the fandom’s response... i can see why people are upset or disappointed but i don’t think it’s, like, that justified to throw the whole show away as well. yeah, the ending wasn’t perfect, but if you’ve enjoyed the show as a whole... maybe it’s okay, y’know? like, personally, i don’t think i’m ever going to rewatch the finale. but i do love the earlier episodes and i am gonna watch them back at some point, probably! it’s all well and good and valid to criticise the lack of intimacy and kissing in the finale i guess, but if you’re a straight girl then maybe... watch your words. 2gether has portrayed a wonderful love story between two men and to see straight people throw it away as “bromance” or say it’s the “straightest bl of all time” or whatever because of the lack of kisses is kind of hurtful. i am completely open to discussing this with lgbt people, mlm specifically, and you can come talk to me about your thoughts if you’re a straight woman as well. all i’m asking for is that you maybe show a little bit of empathy and respect, y’know? i also do think 2gether peaked around episode 9/10 and i’m fine with that! it gave me so much more than characters and relationships--it gave me the fandom and everyone here and words cannot express how grateful i am for all of you. maybe the last few episodes were poorly written and the finale wasn’t everything y’all hoped for... but i did and do love this show. i cannot wait to see where brightwin go next.

#tried to put this under a cut but it gave up on me lmfaooo #also yeah dbk finale was perfect nothing can compare dsmdhs #2gether the series #2gether finale #for my own tagging purposes #ref #rahul answers

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itsyaboiwritersblock · 5 years

Text

Won’t Say I’m in Love

Pairing(s): Crowley x Female Human Reader

Rating: G

Warnings: Language, Slow burn fluff

Words: 1,900

Genre: Fluff, so much fluff

I do not own the GIFs, characters, or the song

The song is “I Won’t Say I’m in Love” from the movie “Hercules”

In the background, a playlist of Disney movies droned on, but the cutesy songs fell on deaf ears as the only person that was standing in that kitchen was apparently having a battle with the sugar cookie dough she had whipped up just hours before. Normally, {Y/N} would be so excited about getting to bake a sweet treat, as they were usually for a certain shopkeeper with a soft spot for pastries, but this time, that wasn’t the case, as the recipient was that no good bastard, Crowley, who had no business to just show up at her flat without a care in the world. Why he wanted sugar cookies, she didn’t know, she had never seen the man eat sweets, let alone eat in general, and she was fully convinced he didn’t need to eat at all.

With a huff of frustration, she harshly pushed the rolling pin across the still partially frozen dough, her brows furrowed in some sort of negative emotion she couldn’t really pin at that moment. Who gave him the right to just casually waltz in her flat and call her “Sweetheart” in that spine melting tone he carried. Wait, she didn’t think his voice was attractive, no, not at all, in fact, she thought his voice was quite annoying, yes, that’s what it was. In her fit of fighting herself on whether she thought his voice was something to gush about or not, she pushed the rolling pin forward a little too aggressively and ended up catching her finger under the rolling pin. The action was so quick, and actually fairly painful, that it caused her to real back with a short cry discomfort, shaking the hand that belonged to the injured finger.

Crowley must’ve been close enough to hear the commotion that was going on in the kitchen because he was standing in the doorway of the small room in no time, looking actually fairly concerned, which {Y/N} had to admit, was a nice change compared to his usually smug expression. Immediately, he noticed her injured finger, eyes drawn to the small drop beading at the top of it. The man gave a pitying coo and pulled out a tiny bandage box from seemingly nowhere.

“Oh, Dove, what did you do to yourself this time? You’ve honestly got to be more careful, what would you have done if I wasn’t here, surely you wouldn’t want to bleed all over the dough you spent so much time on.”

He spoke almost cheekily, carefully grabbing {Y/N}’s hand and almost cradling it, taking his sweet time to wrap a bandage over the tiny cut that laid on the top of it. And once the finger was fully wrapped and taken care of, he gently pressed his lips to the top of it, delivering that heart stopping wink he had before chuckling and casually sauntering out of the room.

“Stay safe my dear Dove.”

A furiously red blush crawled onto her cheeks as she huffed something rather insulting under her breath, turning back to the dough on her counter, which she was now equally mad at. Speaking of mad, {Y/N} was definitely none too happy with the man waiting in her living room right now. Actually, she was practically still fuming about the whole situation. First he just appears out of nowhere and casually asks her to bake him a tray of almond sugar cookies, which she thought was weird since he was so specific. And another weird thing was that she couldn’t find it in herself to say no even though she wanted to just scream at him to leave her house.

Again, the dough was the victim of her anger fueled baking as she finally flattened it out, which might or might not have been accomplished by her just smacking it with the rolling pin, she would never tell. And as she cut out little circles in the delightfully sweet dough, a certain song in the background of her kitchen caught her attention.

“If there’s a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I’ve already won that.”

{Y/N} instantly knew that the song belonged to her favorite childhood animated movie, Hercules, but what she didn’t know was that the song would mean more to her now than it did ever.

As her mood skyrocketed because of the song alone, she pushed the thought of Crowley in her home to the back of her mind as she focused on cutting out the cookies and the song that had seemed to bring her back in time. Everything was right with her in that moment, that is, until the chorus started echoing through her kitchen.

“It’s too cliché, I won’t say I’m in love.”

It was weird, at the word “love” she felt her heart do a very small skip, feeling like it had jumped up from it’s place in her chest and had gone up to her throat. Love? What, no way, she didn’t love anyone. Right?

As if on some sort of cue, or maybe he just wanted to catch her off guard, the man that had been bringing her down that afternoon popped his head in, wearing his signature grin, as always. Of course, her mood plummeted, or well, she thought it would, but it actually had stayed the same, if anything, it got better. But why, why would she enjoy seeing him? Him of all people?

“Just wanted to see if you were doing all right, Sweetheart. Oh, well, and I came to question your music taste, but you seemed quite adorable getting lost in the song I thought I wouldn’t bother.”

“Wouldn’t bother? Is that why you just came to bother me for no reason then? Don’t you have better things to do, like go crush the dreams of that sweet shopkeeper? You don’t need to be here.”

She bit off, frowning as she practically threw her oven door open and slammed in the tray of cookies that was finally prepared and ready for baking. Instead of getting her anticipated reaction from him, {Y/N} saw that Crowley only smiled, hell, he even started laughing a bit, and if that didn’t piss her off, she didn’t know what would.

“Oh, Dove, your words wound me, but dear Aziraphale doesn’t quite give me the reactions I want like you do. Besides, he prefers to snack on sweets, not bake them. And me? Well, I like to spend time with sweet things.”

He winked and quickly ducked out of the room to avoid the spatula she had chucked at him, but he could never miss the bright red that covered her cheeks and the surprised expression that was etched onto her oh so perfect features.

“Cheeky bastard!”

She groaned, planting her face in her hands as she slid down to her knees, eventually just sitting on the floor, back pressed against the cool glass of her oven.

“No chance, no way, I won’t say it no, no.”

The lyrics rang out in her mind as she grabbed fistfuls of hair, trying to put the thought that she might love Crowley out of her head, but the song really wasn’t helping. Neither was Crowley’s constant and flirty remarks, in fact, her face was still wearing a bright red hue from the last one.

“You’re doin flips, read our lips. You’re in love.”

“No I’m fucking not! Damn song!”

She groaned, peeking up from her fingers to scowl at her speaker, wishing that this cursed song, which was once her favorite, would shut up already. How could she love someone like Crowley? True, he did get her the great deal on her flat, if not for him, she would still be living with her controlling and overbearing parents. So, she did have to thank him for that, well that and him introducing her to Aziraphale. Crowley was the reason she had known her current best friend, and she really didn’t want to think about living life without him.

“Girl, don’t be proud. It’s okay, you’re in love.”

“You don’t know what I feel!”

She whisper shouted back at the song because she knew that Crowley was just in the other room and well, she was arguing with a damn song. Surely she would look crazy, even to Crowley of all people.

“Oh. At least out loud, I won’t say I’m in love…”

“Do I love him?”

{Y/N} mumbled to herself, glancing at the empty doorway, cracking a small smile at the thought of Crowley popping his head in just minutes before. True, she wouldn’t know what she would do without Aziraphale, but she could say the same for Crowley. God, every time she saw him she wanted to grab him by his stupidly perfect red hair and pull him in for a searing kiss, wishing to catch him off guard like all the times he had done before.

“Who am I kidding? I do, I love Crowley… I love him from his God awful leather pants to his tacky sunglasses he never takes off.”

At this, she giggled to herself, not wanting to admit that a Disney song had helped her realized her hidden feelings for the idiot sitting in the other room. She sat there for a while, remaining in her own world, eyes wide and full of adoration. The only thing that pulled her from her dazed state was the buzzer of the oven, and immediately she launched to her feet, a grin playing at her lips. Right before she called out to him, she glanced down at her bandaged finger, listening to her heart run a mile a minute, only hoping that Crowley couldn’t hear it as well.

“Crowley, your dumb cookies are ready!”

“Okay, Dove, thank you so much! Be right in!”

When Crowley responded he almost sounded… Flustered? Nah, Crowley didn’t, couldn’t, get flustered, so, she just shook her head and waited impatiently, rocking back and forth on her heels.

In the living room, Crowley was staring at the doorway with wide, yellow eyes, not believing the words he had just heard from his precious dove {Y/N}. She loved him? Him? How? How could he be worthy of something that huge? Obviously, he couldn’t just sit there in wonder the whole time, as the woman was waiting for him, probably with a rare, bright smile. So, he stood up with a smile of his own and marched into the kitchen, feeling an unfamiliar sensation of butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

Normally, he’d do something cheeky, like bend down and kiss her hand, or hell, even reach around and pinch her rear. The latter would always get him a slap or a vulgar remark while her face blushed redder than a tomato. Instead, he gently bent down and placed a soft kiss to the top of her head before standing directly behind her, her back against his chest, and he grabbed a cooling cookie with a smile. And usually, {Y/N} would snap back some remark about personal space, or take the chance to elbow him right in the “money shot.” Instead, she leaned back into the feeling, eyes glancing up at the man behind her, the two sharing a silent, yet impactful moment.

Didn’t they just bicker? How did they get along all of the sudden? Why were the two acting so strange?

Well, because they were in love.

To be continued…

#crowley x reader #crowley x reader good omens #good omens #anthony j crowley #reader insert #good omens x reader #crowley good omens

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szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you? no

Who is the person you would least like to be stuck in a lift with? Why? smelly drunk puking rapist murderer - do I really have to explain? If your parents looked in your inbox and read your messages, would they find out anything you didn’t want them to know? my sexts Have you cried at all during the past week? ... When was the last time you felt disappointed? What was the reason? now, no comment Who was the last person you had an argument with? how would you feel if that person never spoke to you again? both good and bad

Do you like forks with three metal pokers, or four? I don’t care Would you ever wear a hat with cat ears on it? I already do

Have you ever eating raw sugar by itself? when I was a kid I was stealing it from my grandma’s sugar-bowl Do you paint your left or right hand fingernails first? I don’t recall but probably left as I’m righty What about for your feet? not that I paint them but whatever What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? hmm... Do you think fish are cute? some can be If you found an ant on your food, would you still eat it? doubt it How much do you weigh? 42 kg now

What was the shortest amount of time you’ve known someone before you’ve dated them? but dates or relationship?

Do you have any theatrical experience? If so, what have you done? just school

Don’t you hate it when people talk about their relationships constantly? every subject you talk about constantly is getting on my nerves tbh

Is there anything you need to say to anyone? I don’t know how/what/if I should/want to

If you could have anyone to do your eulogy, who would it be and why? my dad

If given the choice, would you rather go to Subway or a Chinese restaurant? Subway

Do your neighbors annoy you in any way? many ways

Whose car were you in last? I was in a taxi

How late did you stay up last night? I barely slept at all because of cannula/venflon and feeling like I’m choking, also noise and anxiety

What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? coming home

Who did you last see in person? mom

When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? today (my father)

What is on your wrists right now? finally nothing and that feels weird, I constantly want to fix my ID wristband but it’s not there anymore

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing? second hand - it has an elephant and Perfectly imperfect written on it

Do you like clowns? very

Are you listening to anything at the moment? I am

Do you twitch when your falling asleep? it happens at times but only rarely

Are your dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? we don’t own a dishwasher

Are you at home or with friends more often? home and I like it that way

Would you date someone 15 years older than you? noooo

Do you own a strapless bra? nah

How are you feeling at this exact moment? it’s complicated

Are you someone who worries too often? absolutely

Do you ever wonder how other people see you? obvi

What is one good thing you’re known for? How about one bad thing? don’t ask me

Are you taller than most? lmfao

Are you the type of person who likes to be out or home? take a guess...

Has anyone ever said i love you to you and not meant it? it seems

Do you regret going out with the last person you did? going out as dating or just spending time with somebody outside?

When was the last time you showered? few days ago because I couldn’t move my arm :(

Who did you last talk to in person? my mother

Do you ever have days where you just don’t do anything? yeah

Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? hahaha

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic? not sure

What area of math are you best at? Worst? dunno

How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? only Dorota had similar taste in music to mine not counting my current gf’s love towards 80s songs that we share

How often do you “half-ass” things (put little effort in)? often?

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? yes

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? sure

What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? everything?...

If you don’t have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? mixed feelings

If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn’t need them anymore? -

Have you ever considered going to art school? I have considered and am slightly regretting that I didn’t

How quickly can you write an essay? depends

Favorite episode of Spongebob? it’s not my fav but I remember the one where Spongebob painted the room most (why tho?)

Do you have any silly/odd emotional connections to anything/anyone? would say so

Do you play with your phone in awkward situations? I might

Do u own a rolling pin?: u don’t? :o

What’s your ideal indoor temperature?: never checked

Does your kitchen have a theme?: ... apparently poop is the theme

Are u a pack rat?: mhm

What’s the grossest thing u have found in your food?: bug, hair, piece of plastic...

Do u like ice cream sandwiches?: why not

Ever worn a flower in your hair?: for a moment

What surgeries have u had?: none

What health problems do u have?: what health problems I don’t have?...

Do u like to sleep in?: yasss

Don’t ya just hate foot cramps? who likes those?

Would you say you have an infectious laugh? not really Shouldn’t you be doing something else right now? omg thx for a reminder :o What is something you worry about often? every single thing Do you walk fast or slow? compared to?... Would you consider yourself healthy? Both mind and body. not at all Does sitting in waiting rooms drive you insane? not as much as majority of people, I can wait for a long time when I see the point and don’t feel the worst, I don’t need much entertainment to not get bored What form of public transport do you use most often? bus Would you consider yourself an adrenaline junkie? the opposite Have you ever been arrested? If so, why? I’m an angel Do you ever put sticky notes around the place to remind yourself of things? I have shitload of notes but they’re not sticky Would you eat a spider for $50? hell no Would you rather be a kangaroo or a koala? koala Are you easy to talk to? am I? Can you juggle with more than two items? I can’t juggle with one item pfft At airports do you ever worry your luggage won’t arrive? scary but luckily I don’t travel by plane What other windows have you currently got opened? fb, youtube, tumblr drafts, google translator and google searching Who else is in the same building as you? my parents Would you like a penny farthing bicycle? maybe Would you ever consider visiting Ireland? what for? Would you like to visit Venice? no thx Did you ever eat leaves when you were a kid? my sister did Do you have any flags in your house? we occasionally put polish flag on balcony Are there any ‘keep off the grass’ signs where you live? just don’t throw trash on the ground on cemetery Have you ever walked on the grass with such a sign? that’s rude unless you really didn’t notice or had no choice Are you double-jointed? could say so At school which area of science did you prefer: biology/chemistry/physics? definitely not physics Which did you prefer between geography/history? neither Have you ever driven a tractor? didn’t have an opportunity Does the smell of the countryside bother you? animal shit does Do you drink more water or juice? water

Sweater weather or tank top weather? Which do you prefer. I like it hot, I hate winter but I enjoy sweaters Is there a cat in the room you’re in right now? stuffed only Do you enjoy going to the movies? prefer to watch movies at home

Are you an animal lover? I admire from afar How tall are you? according to my doctor I lost 2 cm Is there anything you want to ask anyone right now? God Are you gay, straight, bi, lesbian, asexual, or not sure? asexual/lesbian Are you more negative or more positive? negative Have you made any life altering decisions lately? I’m deciding

Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? not atm Have you made a CV? several Where is the last place you applied for a job? (If you have) which was the last one... Are you photogenic? I’m ugly

What are you listening to right now? stopped because family member is asleep What are you going to do tomorrow? shopping if anything

Have you ever been judged on something you wore? been bullied

Think QUICK what word begins with c? clown :D

Are you a funny person? I believe Be honest, do you go for looks more or personality? personality is more important but I’m picky

Are you a flirty person? a bit

Are you homophobic? I’m homo myself so...

How would you react if someone said you ruined their life? I know I ruin everybody’s lives

If you’re home alone, do you still close/lock the door when you use the bathroom? I don’t lock ‘em even when I’m not alone

What’s the stupidest song you’ve listened to today? nothing stupid

How is your hair currently styled? it’s dirty and after this survey I will wash my head finally

Do you ever stay up late just to be awake oh well...

Would you ever write a letter to someone you haven’t met yet, like your future spouse? I don’t think so

Would you rather spend the day watching movies or on an intense hike? entire day just one thing?!

Are you stressed about anything? always Have you ever stood on a frozen solid body of water? too dangerous for me Are you one of those people who take like, 50 Facebook quizzes at a time? whoops :x What’s on your bed? it’s so clean/empty that it freaks me out Are you texting anyone? no longer

Did your last beverage contain caffeine? it was just water

Did you get any friend requests on Facebook today? did not

What’s your least favourite song by your favourite artist? for example - one of my fav bands - Queen - I dislike Radio Gaga and We will rock you

What’s your best friend’s middle name? no middle name!

Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? my partner

If the person you miss turned up at your door now, how would you react? woah wtf

Where were you THREE hours ago? in here

What are you wearing right now? my leggings with colorful heart pattern

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? parent

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? I got two shirts and socks

What day is tomorrow? Friday

Do you remember the first person you ever kissed? we’re together now again

Ever use someone else’s toothbrush? that’s disgusting, don’t!

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bkdkink · 5 years

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here’s part 2 for the ehhhh stuff

“okay, so dy,” you ask, “if it looks good and plays well, story is excellent and music is perfect, wtf is up your ass about it then?”

so bear with me. what i am about to straight-up complain about rn is by no means anything major or even something that should prevent anyone from ever being apart of the game and its story. these are minor, personal complaints that i want to vent out, and if it so happens that i have people who agree with me then great! if not, then yeah i totally understand because people see the story differently and want different things, as life goes.

long rant ahead, beware.

so the negative about kh3, ill start with the annoying and lead up to the heart-crushing part (yet expected) part first.

The Frozen and Tangled levels were rough. lmao, not skill-wise, no. Just. Tangled was going through the whole damn movie......right? without songs and certain minor characters, but we...went through the whole movie with Rapunzel and it was sooooo awkward to watch the cutscenes....because sora, donald and goofy were just. there. they did nothing to progress the story. they were just....there? eugene died. they witnessed a man DIE. and it was........anticlimatic a little in how they reacted???? like that they dont quite understand death so they were just like awwwwww :/ and then he came back so yeah, but. it was so weird?? with them there???? why were they there??? why this way???? why not make up a whole new story or add to it or something or other??? is it cuz she’s one of the new 7 princesses of light so we had to do a whole thing??? cuz we didn’t for any other princess??? oh besides Frozen.

Frozen was the worst level for me. just the worst. i never liked the movie, so that’s strike one, strike two is i had to re-listen to two of those infamous songs.......because sora had to listen to them. why....when....when was there disney songs shot frame-per-frame.....in KH? and no, ariel in KH2 doesn’t count because that whole WORLD was a MUSICAL WORLD. the only actions you could take was THROUGH muSICcccCCCCC.

my point is that there was too much pandering going on there, also the story was just as nonsensical as it was in the movie. if i never saw it i would have been so confused as to where that brunette dude came from, how he got Elsa, WHY he wanted to kill her---the game (tangled was a tad bit guilty of this too, wtf did Rapunzel start calling Flynn Eugene? i saw the movie so i knew but they didn’t explain that until their world was finished) so....good luck to whoever did watch the movies?? KH assumes you’ve seen both of them, compared to the Carribbean where I never saw the movie but i knew wtf was going on??? also big hero 6, never saw that but could get the gist!!!!

they were just WAY too movie heavy which isn’t the usual for the series, and im sure if they are included in the next game itll be a different experience because the movies are now established, so there hopefully there won’t be any pandering from Frozen’s end too much.

Now......the stuff that is more personal. okay here goes.

KH, from the jump, has somewhat kinda tried to establish a maybe romantic angle between Sora and Kairi. Now, because of how friendship heavy the whole series is and the love friends share....I for one never picked that up until i was reading tvtropes and i was reading up on Kairi being one of the main reasons that Sora and Riku were even beefy in the first game to being with??? the both liked her but she chose Sora or something????? that shit flew so far over my head and no, i wasn’t a child playing the first game for the first time---this was only a couple years ago. i just....did not...pick up romantic interest? i picked up...friend?? because they kept saying....Friend™?

anyway, series goes on, Kairi is known to the fandom as being written mostly out of focus and is never used well enough in the plot. and i agree. they never used her to her potential, and even in KH3, where she is now a keyblade wielder, she still becomes something to save...............even in the very end.........even when she and Sora had their moment of “imma save you this time!” .....no........sora still leaves to go and save her.............so.like.......yay for....growth? kinda....? i just feel bad for her tbh.

that’s one thing. the main, large thing that i did see coming but was disappointed in nonetheless was that several games later of pushing her aside, of focusing much more on the relationship between Sora and Riku with an ENITRE GAME narrowed in on both of them and their journey toGETher---KH3 begins to focus on the romantic angle between Sora and Kairi again. and its obvious enough where NOW yes, even I picked up on it this time around.

and at this point......it just.....came off so forced? they lay it on thiccccccc my dudes. and it feels like it. yes, there are still moments between Riku and Sora, sure, but that is down-played SOOO much compared to fuggin KH:DDD or hell even KH2....

like.........i don’t expect any gay male video game protags from Square Enix, I really dont. but i also dont want some last-minute romance shoved down my throat??? when i was fine with how it was before??? maybe if they still kept the subtly that they had done and with newer games continuing to build off of that, I wouldn’t be so put off by the idea. KH2 did a good job of building it, like when Sora imagined Kairi and him dancing together in halloween town--that was cute af?????? and well integrated????? and could STILL be taken as him just missing a FRIEND or yeah, a potential love interest! but just. jesus. you didn’t care about them being together then, don’t do it now because it comes off a little cheap.

also fuck Riku i guess???? kairi doesn’t give a fuck about Riku at all?/??? is the overall vibe i was getting???lmao aren’t all 3 of them friends??????? no???????? kairi only messes with sora and riku only messes with sora?????? can i get some uhhhhhhhhhhh riku and kairi time too or nah????? we had a moment of them at the beginning of the game i guess and then....that was....kinda it? so fucking disappointing how they write her man. she’s so much more than a love interest and there are moments when that shows, but there’s too many where she just....is only sora-focused?

you want an example of how forced it was that they were switching Sora’s relationship from Riku to Kairi? now don’t quote me on this i could very well be wrong because i never actively listened for bkg music until DDD, but Dearly Beloved? the titular theme song for every single KH menu and emotional scenes? the theme song that DDD later ESTABLISHED in CANON that it was Riku and Sora’s heart song playing together????? a song that plays in some kinda version whenever Sora and Riku are having a moment??????? WELP. i wanna say they still kept it for Sora and Riku for at least one cutscene with them together. at least. i can’t name others, but they at least did it once cuz i remember getting excited about it.

they now played it more frequently whenever Kairi showed up on screen, or when she and Sora were having a moment together.

SORA. and RIKUS song....playing now for SORA and KAIri???? please correct me if im wrong, absolutely tell me if im wrong that im just not observant and it’s always been like that because tbh that’ll make this better for me lol but they just took Riku and went YEET. “Sora is the hero. Sora gets the girl because of course he does. Sora is GOD and fuck yall for not expecting him to have a love interest at the end of this and YES it will be a girl and YES it WILL be the one we keep forgetting about to make his love interest up until now because yall were getting the most wrongest ideas of where this was going so we’ll fix that right up for ya”

i still loved the game. hell, even with the ending like that (”i gotta go save Kairi! again! even though we had a whole thing with the papou fruit about how she was going to save me and protect me this time! and i gotta do it alllll by myself!!! she has a keyblade you say???? she wants to be more useful to me you say???? well FUCK that imma go rescue her because im Sora and i am hero boy!!”) i still had a good time! it really is a good game, please go play it to get all the feels in the world, if this minor stuff is minor for you too, then go play it RIGHT. NOW!!!!!

but yeah. ya girl was disappointed by how forced it was. expected it, but still doesn’t negate how i feel in the end. so now im gonna indulge in soriku art.

Rant over! if you actually read over this and wanna talk about it, feel free to hit me up! let’s rant together. maybe im wrong and too focused on my ship and i have ship glasses on too tight.

#kh #kingdom hearts #sora #riku #kairi #soriku #destiny trio #wayfinder trio #dyrants #kh3 #kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 spoilers #spoilers #kh spoilers

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looselucy · 7 years

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123 I was walking straight from a job interview to Dr Jacksons office, and it felt like the most productive Wednesday I’d had for a while. I felt driven. I felt good. It was on this journey, that I received a call. From Matilda.

I glared down to my phone, noticing the marks on my wrist were almost completely gone. I think I’d refused to acknowledge just how bad it was at the time, because it had been exactly a month since it happened and the marks were only just fading with success. I really had refused to accept just how badly Harry had hurt me that night. I answered after a moment of hesitation, holding the phone against my ear and having to physically force myself to talk. “Hey.” I grumbled, storming down the street. “Hello.” She spoke softly. “How are you?” “Um… I’m alright, yeah. How’re you?” “I’m fine. Spoke with mum. She said you went to see her.” I wondered when it was they’d spoken, because Matilda and my mother were relatively close; they spoke to each other a lot. I wondered if she’d already known for weeks and was only just getting in touch with me. “I did, yeah.” “How did it go?” I was worried about where the conversation was going. I’d been feeling really good about the talk I’d had with my mother. It wasn’t perfect, far from it, but I still felt really good about the fact that I’d opened up, and instead of ignoring or questioning me, she’d opened up too. It felt like a positive thing. I was really worried that she would have turned around and bitched about it to Matilda, and I’d wind up feeling awful about it rather than good. It wasn’t easy, but I wanted her to walk away from that chat feeling better too, no matter how draining it had been, and the fact I knew talking to me had forced her to tackle some demons she hadn’t really dealt with before. I hoped she saw it in the same way I did, but I was terrified Matilda was about to tell me that actually, she was just annoyed by the whole thing. “I think it went… well.” I trembled. “It definitely went better than I thought it would. I… I dunno. I was happy with it.” “That’s good!” She beamed. “I’m really glad you feel that way.” “What… What did she say? What did she think… about it?” Her silence only made me feel worse, despite the fact it only lasted a few seconds. I couldn’t even fathom how nervous I was. My mum and I had been through a lot, and I’d gone through stages of mentality where I hated her intensely, but in that moment, I really didn’t wish any pain or sadness on her. I really wanted her to feel happy about our talk. “Y’know… I thinks he feels really good about it.” “Seriously?” “Yeah! I mean, you know what mums like. It’s not easy to get her talking about her feelings, but… Yeah. She said she’s feeling really good about it, and she’s glad you talked.” “Oh fuck. Matty I wanna cry, but I can’t, because I’m walking down the street and people will stare.” She laughed a little as I tried to hold myself together, but it was such a relief to know she felt good about what had happened. I guess I hadn’t realised that I needed to hear that confirmation, to know for a fact, that she hadn’t walked away from that conversation despising me even more for putting her through it. Because I had worried about that. It had been playing on my mind and I’d been worrying about it for almost a month. It felt good to have an answer. “So she doesn’t hate me?” “It didn’t sound like it to me.” She spoke kindly. “She sounded like… she’d got a weight off her shoulders.” I was holding in tears and grinning like a fool as I looked up to the skies, breathing out a heavy sigh that had been sitting smug upon my chest, and feeling this overwhelming happiness that I hadn’t felt for a long time. “Thank fuck for that.” I groaned, looking back down and feeling a little less like crying. “Thanks for letting me know, Matty.” “But it got me thinking… That now, me and you are actually doing worse than you and mum, and… That’s bizarre. And I won’t stand for it.” I giggled lightly, feeling better by the second. My day was going strangely well. Ever since I’d learnt about Daniel, I’d thought about my relationship with Matilda a lot. I thought about Harry’s situation, and how I knew he would have done anything to grow up alongside his brother. It wouldn’t have mattered if they were close, similar, if they hated each other or if they were utterly inseparable. He would have done anything to have his brother around, and to have had the chance at having some kind of relationship with him, even if it wasn’t the best one. I felt lucky that I had that option. “Nah. We really need to do something about it, don’t we?” I cooed. “We do! And I have an idea.” “Shoot.” “I’m gunna start gathering all my essentials for my wedding now. I’ve been putting it off, because work is hectic and we didn’t want to rush anything, but I’m ready now. So, I’m thinking… I come to the city and we can go… dress shopping, and everything in between. We can drink lots of champagne and get lunch and… just be bloody sisters. And it won’t even matter if we bicker, because that’s what sisters do. I’d love to try and find my dress with you there… telling me what’s too much and when I need to tone it down. Because I’m definitely going to pick something overly extravagant, and you’re the only person who’d have the guts, and decency, to tell me that.” I laughed again, and returned my gaze up to the sky, wondering why it wasn’t sunny because it felt like it would have fit the image and my feelings much more than the grey skies were. It was nice to feel so good. “I’d love that.” I replied, turning the final corner. “Yeah?” “Yeah, that’d be amazing. Sounds good. Just lemme know when, okay? I’m sorry to cut you short, Matty, but I’ve got a therapy session.” “I thought you’d stopped going?” She cried. “I did, but… It’s a long story. I’ll chat with you face to face, okay?” “Okay. I hope you’re doing alright.” “I’m good. I’ll see you soon, yeah?” “See you soon.” I hung up the phone and swiftly made my way into the building, noticing that the elevator was still out of service, as it had been for months, and then moving to rush up the stone staircase in the hope of not being at all late, because I was usually at least five minutes behind schedule. I tripped a little on the journey up, blaming it on my chipper mood, and once again, I was excited to talk to Dr Jackson. I’d had three sessions with her since I returned home from my parents’ house, and each felt more successful than the last. I’d told her about how the talk with my mother had gone, and she seemed as pleasantly surprised as Harry was, as Mo was, as Matty was and as I was. I was literally bouncing back towards her office. Once I was outside the door, I knocked three times, hearing her lightly ask me to welcome myself into the room before doing so, and she was already making notes. She shot me the briefest of smiles. “Hi!” I greeted. “Hello.” She spoke, dotting her final line dramatically before moving the pen from the paper, but keeping it in her hand, bound to start clicking the thing before too long. “I’ve just come from an interview.” I began immediately, sitting myself down. “And I think it went really well.” “That’s great news! What was it for?” “It’s to work in the reception of this building just around the corner from Mo’s flat. So, just letting people in and answering calls and… pointing people in the right direction. And no, it’s not the dream job I’d hoped for when I quit my last one, but… I don’t even know what my dream job is, so… that was a ridiculous thing to do, right? That was… stupid.” “Well, it was you getting… carried away again. Running with one emotion rather than thinking logically.” “I am good at that.” “I was thinking we could discuss this today, actually. I think-” “You know… Sorry, for interrupting, but… I have something in mind. For us to talk about.” “Okay?” “I wanna talk about Harry.” That was enough to for her to take the pen out of her hand, placing it upon the table and shooting me one of the most puzzled looks I’d ever received from her. I nodded, with some confidence, proving I hadn’t just said that and was going to regret it instantly. “Well, in what sense?” She sat forward. “I can’t divulge much information about my sessions with him.” “Not like that.” I shook my head. “I wanna talk about… Me and Harry. What I’m like with Harry.” “I thought you might have meant that, but… When his name is mentioned, you usually shut off.” “And that needs to change, right? I have to change that.” I’d never received a message from Harry confirming whether his dreams had fully stopped, or if he’d just been blessed for that one night, but I knew that didn’t necessarily mean that they’d come back, more that he had quickly, and successfully, cut me out of his life. A little later than planned, but even so. I missed him more than I could ever explain, and I knew part of that was down to the fact I’d always forced thoughts of him to the back of my mind, never fully allowing myself to process everything that had happened between us, and how terribly I’d handled not only my own feelings, but his. I’d tried my best to just move on, but one day it had just hit me that every single downfall of who I had become over the years, could be summed up and analysed in almost every single way I’d dealt with our love. It was hard to admit that years of beating myself up, and my family joining in the beatings, had forced mine and Harry’s attempt at a relationship to be so difficult, and unpredictable. I knew it was down to me and my feelings, but it didn’t really mean that I completely understood it. That was why I needed Dr Jacksons help. “Okay. Well, I think this is a good idea.” She nodded, picking her pen back up. “Now, let me get straight into it. You believe you have a negative influence on Harry’s life, correct?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because… Because that’s just what I’m like.” “So tell me, would you ever cut Mo out of your life, because you believe you’re this… body of negativity?” “What?” “Your friends from work. Mo. Even your family. Would you ever walk away from them?” “I… I don’t know. I don’t think so. No.” “So why does Harry get that treatment?” She stunned me into silence already, shocking me with what she was saying and how quickly she’d delved into it. I imagined she had a million questions and things to say about me and him that she’d never been able to voice fully before, because I always turned my head and tried to change the topic. “I… I don’t know.” “You fought so hard, to make sure you had a relationship with your family, despite everything. And yet with Harry, you turn away. Why?” “I… I don’t-” “You are not accustomed to that kind of love and support.” She answered for me. “Your automatic reaction, was to shun it. It’s very unfamiliar to you, so your body tries to fight it. Like a virus, if you will. Your mentality can work in a very similar way.” Sometimes I wanted to tell Dr Jackson I loved her, but it felt entirely unprofessional, so I’d always managed to keep it down. So I just nodded, remaining as proficient as I could, absorbing her words and questioning rather quickly how I’d ever disliked her. She was so incredibly good at her job. “Okay.” I nodded. “That makes sense.” “And I also think it’s linked with your need to be independent. Which, as we’ve established, originally grew from your mother’s dismissal, but I believe it plays a part here.” “See, I don’t think it does.” I sat forward excitedly. “I think I really moved past that. When me and Harry were together… we were such a unit, and I loved that. I enjoyed… being that way with someone.” “What concerns me, is the timing of it.” She continued. “It was what happened over Christmas that made you feel like this was a problem for you, wasn’t it?” “Yeah. After… everything went wrong with Harry and… I’d felt… really weird on New Year’s Eve because I’d really wanted him there at my side, and I hated that feeling. Then… Mo kinda pointed out that it’s not always a bad thing.” “And that is when you opened up to the idea of therapy. The idea of support.” “Yes.” “So this is where, for me, it gets interesting.” She made a couple of notes, before continuing. “You began accepting my help and we took some steps forward. We took a lot of steps forward.” “We did.” I agreed. “And eventually, you and Harry got together. Not long after that, our sessions stopped. You’d found support elsewhere.” “I guess so.” “But then as soon as you and Harry broke up, you came back here.” “Right?” “You learnt to accept that you might need support, but you didn’t learn to accept it fully, did you? You’re only ever allowing support to come from one area. One person. One thing. You knew it was good to give up some of that need to be independent, but if it ever got too much, that’s when you struggled. Subconsciously, you felt like you had to pick between the two. My support. Or Harry’s.” The timing of it fit like a glove. When things finally started going well with Harry, I turned away from Dr Jackson. When things got rough with Harry, I turned back. It was like my body and my soul and my heart could only accept a minimal amount of good before I fucked it up, and not because that’s what I deserved, or because of an energy I believed I had, but because I had chosen for those things to happen; rejecting too much kindness and support, because it had been so unnatural to me, for so long. It was almost like my body had convinced itself that it could only handle so much love. And that, was the true virus I was experiencing. “Holy shit.” I baffled. “What you need to learn, is that support comes in many different shapes and sizes, and from many different people in different ways. It’s not a bad thing. You need to learn how to take what’s given to you, Florence. If that means you need support from everyone around you who’s willing to offer, it doesn’t mean you in turn have to cut another support system off. It doesn’t make you weak! Not everything that’s unfamiliar is automatically bad.” I sat bewildered, once again trying pull her words in and let my body swallow them and process them in the healthiest way they could, but I felt a little breathless. I wished I had that ability, where I could really analyse things and figure out timings and feelings and situations, and I hated that I couldn’t, and I hated that it was like she could read my damn mind, in every moment and especially that one. “There’s a reason I get paid so much to do this, Florence.” She noted. “You’re very good.” I half laughed, still dazed. “Do you remember when you came to the second group therapy session?” She asked, and I nodded. “I remember it well. It’s strange, but I genuinely felt extremely proud of you. To see how far you’d come in just three months. Do you remember what you said?” “No.” “Well, I do. I remember it clearly.” She reputed. “You stood there, in front of a room full of people, and confidently said to them, that if there was someone there offering you help, then you should accept that. If there was someone there that could help you stop hating yourself, you would accept that.” I did have an indistinct memory of saying something along those lines, and I guess it hurt to acknowledge that I’d been more open about that fact in February than I had been recently, and it was all happening so subconsciously I hadn’t been able to grasp at it. “So what do I do? How do I change?” “You remember how we worked on you liking yourself? It came from you… spreading love and good thoughts. Putting out the energy you wished to receive. It worked well for you.” “It did.” “When you went to support Harry last month, did you do that because you felt he was weak without you?” “No.” I reacted, without even having to give it a second thought. “I did it because… it was… the right thing to do. And because… he needed a little help and… support. It was nothing to do with him being weak.” She gave me a look, one that said I should mirror that thought process to myself, and I rolled my eyes, more at myself than her, feeling a little stupid, and then I nodded. “So maybe we should do this the same way. Offer support to others. Let everyone who means something to you know that you’re there for them, whenever they need you. Let them know that you will catch them when they fall and pick them back up. Spread that support, just like you spread that love.” “Done.” I nodded again, poised. “I can do that.” “You have a problem with self-sabotage. You reject good things as a natural instinct. You got close to getting past that before, but we’ve had a few steps back. But we can move forward again. I’m absolutely sure about that.” “We can. You’re right. I can do it.” I sounded more nervous than I felt. “I just… I need to come to terms with the fact that having a network of support isn’t a bad thing. I should be happy to take as much as I can get. So… You think this is why I’ve always handled everything with Harry so terribly?” “It plays its part. You’d been doing exceptionally well, until your sister pointed out some similarities you have with your mother, but you need to remember that it doesn’t make you a bad person. You know this already, but it’s this thing within you that forces you to ruin things for yourself. In turn, you feel dissatisfied, and disappointed. You don’t allow yourself to accomplish things that you could, and then you feel badly about yourself, even though you turned away from it. University, your job, your relationship with your family, your relationship with yourself.” “Holy shit!” I gasped again. “I’m constantly fucking stuff up for myself! Why do I do that?” “An automatic rejection process. But, thankfully, it’s one that can be fixed. You’re slowly doing it in a lot of aspects.” “But not Harry.” I mumbled sadly. “But not Harry.” She confirmed. I felt tears pushing their way up into my eyes, and I hadn’t been expecting them. Harry was a touchy subject for me, that much was obvious, but I’d gone in there with every intention of talking about him, and I thought I was ready. “Why do I find that so hard?” I begged for an answer, tears spilling down my cheeks. “I did so well for a while but… it didn’t last. Why do I find it so hard to accept… him?” I felt like I was finally at a stage in my life where things were moving forward, and I was fixing things within my life and myself that had been broken for years, but when it came to Harry I was just moving further and further backwards. “The bottom line is, you’ve spent many years learning to be completely disassociated from your feelings. It was a way for you to cope. You find it hard to come to terms with powerful feelings. The ones that you feel for Harry, and the ones he feels for you… They’re too much.” “How do I change? I need to change. I can’t spend my life blocking people out and walking away from things because it’s too much for me. I just can’t!” “It’s just something we needed to acknowledge.” She told me. “You need to be very aware of how you handle things, and then when you find yourself wanting to walk away from something, you need to take your time and think, and consider everything. Now that you know this is how you handle things, you can acknowledge it whilst it’s happening. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but that’s what you need to do. Take your time. Deal with your feelings. Accept your feelings.” The session continued that way, Dr Jackson telling me more about myself than I realised she knew, more about myself than I had ever known. I spent a short while on her chaise, eyes closed and speaking thoughts that had homed themselves in corners of my mind I never acknowledged, and once again left her office feeling drained, but hopeful. 124 Friday the 14th of July was a good one, because Niall had another gig. Not only was that good for Niall, but it meant that gang were back together for merriments and good music, and there wasn’t much more I asked for in life. Even Mo had tagged along. “He gets more and more comfortable up there every time, doesn’t he?” Molly smiled fondly as Niall spoke to some tech people setting the stage up. “He’s a master.” Sasha agreed as I got the first round in. “I’ve never even seen him before.” Mo gawped. “So he’s decent?” “He’s really good. You won’t even have to bullshit him at the end!” Molly spoke proudly. “He’s actually good.” I passed around everyone’s drinks, and we remained lingering by the bar, the venue so small and quant that we didn’t even need to move from our prime location to be close to Niall. I’d been there before, once, with Harry. The first night we met, he’d told me of this underground venue with quiet bands that he loved, and we went, spent the evening listening to an amazing band that I hadn’t seen since. I had a wonderful time with him that night. So as I turned around, I found my eyes scanning the room, searching for his face. I’d recently found myself doing that in the most peculiar places, even places we’d never been to together before, places I didn’t think he’d ever been in his life. I would look around and just hope, or dread, seeing him. I still hadn’t. But in my search for long flowing hair and green eyes, I did spot a familiar face, sharp blue eyes and scruffy mane. Louis. I cursed quietly under my breath, half expecting Harry to come out from somewhere and join him, but ten minutes passed before Niall started his performance, and Louis was still sat with a small group of people I’d never met before. Harry wasn’t there with him. I didn’t even know if I was relieved or gutted by it. I’d never seen Louis anywhere other than Vocatus. It was strange to see him drinking rather than serving drinks, wearing a heavy denim jacket rather than a tight white shirt and braces. I also knew that Harry confided in Louis often, and I imagined he wasn’t necessarily my biggest fan in that moment, in the same way that Moggy hadn’t been when I went around to Harry’s flat after we’d broken up. It was the only thing that stopped me from going over to him. But around three songs into the set, our eyes met. I shot him a small wave, a shy and nervous one that felt pathetic even when I was doing it, and I was surprised when he returned an extremely large smile, and a thumbs up. I guess Louis was just nice. “Who’s that?” Sasha asked me. “Louis. He works with Harry.” “Ahh yeah, I remember him. You gunna go say hello?” “I dunno. It’s a bit weird, innit?” “Only if you let it be.” That made me think. Maybe this was one of those things that I needed to face up to, even if it was minor. Maybe this was one of those times where I should grab the bull by the horns and just face it, to not walk away from something and to actually, be the first one to walk into it. It might have only been a small step in the right direction, especially considering how friendly his acknowledgement of my presence had been, but at least it was something. “Okay. I’m gunna do it.” I pushed away from the bar, making sure to grab my beer before I went. “Wish me luck!” “Good luck!” I heard Molly and Mo questioning Sasha over who he was and what was happening as I wandered over to him, watching his smile grow the closer I’d got. I’d always gotten on with Louis. There had been times where I’d gone into Vocatus and just sat talking with him whilst he worked. He was lovely and smart and he’d been a magnificent support for Harry, even if it wasn’t always perfect. I think if I’d seen Liam there, I probably would have left him to enjoy his night without having to put up with me. Liam was the definition of tough love, from what I’d seen of him, and Louis was much softer. I was glad I had the easier option. “Hey!” He greeted once I was close enough. “What’re you doing here?” “That’s my mate Niall.” I cooed, pointing his way. “What’re you doing here? I find it hard to believe you’re not working.” “I do have the occasional night off.” He shrugged casually. “It’s a rare treat, so I’m making the most of it. I love it here. Guys, this is Ren!” The group he was with all shot me little waves and hellos, which I returned, before Louis got to his feet, walking us away from them just slightly, giving us the chance to talk with as much privacy as he could. Because we both knew that Harry would be mentioned at some point. It was inevitable. “How’ve you been?” He asked me, his tone exceptionally warm. “I’ve been okay.” I said truthfully. “How’re you?” “Yeah, I’m good. No changes here.” He smiled. “Glad to hear you’re alright. I know things have been a bit weird, recently. You look well.” “Yeah, I’m… working on it.” I smiled, heaving out a rather large sigh before I bit the bullet. “So… I have to ask. How is he? How’s Harry?” “I wish I could tell you.” He shrugged. “But I dunno.” “C’mon, Louis. You work with him every bloody day. You two never stop working.” “Actually, he quit.” My face dropped, the crowd around us beginning a small applause as another of Niall’s songs came to an end, and I just tried to take in what he’d just told me. I swear, I couldn’t make any sense of it. “He quit?” “Yeah, a few weeks ago.” “Why?” “I dunno. I think he just wanted a change.” “Well, don’t you still speak to him?” “He asked for some space. I think he just wants some time to… start this new part of his life. It’s sick the dreams have stopped.” “They’ve stopped completely? I only knew for sure about one night.” “They never came back.” He confirmed, and the news allowed shivers to shelter my skin. “They’re over.” I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know whether to be happy or hurt. I knew Harry loved that job, and that didn’t mean he was going to be there forever, but he had been happy there. It felt strange that he’d just quit so abruptly. It was extremely out of character. But also, I had been there telling Harry to embrace this new stage of his life, and if leaving Vocatus was a part of that, then of course I was happy for him. I just wish I could have some definite answers. I just had to accept it all in my bewildered state. “That’s… amazing.” I sighed. “Thank you for letting me know that. It’s been playing on my mind.” “It’s okay. I know he… He wanted to tell you but… stuff got so complicated.” “Yeah. I know.” I liked that Louis knew enough about me and Harry to know what was the right thing to say, and what wasn’t worth mentioning at all. He knew exactly how to deal with me, and it was going so much more smoothly than I thought it would, despite my bemusement. “Don’t you know where he is?” I asked next, desperate to know as much about Harry’s wellbeing as I could. “I think he’s traveling.” He answered as much as he could. “I’d say he’s out finding himself but… I don’t know anyone who’s more in touch with themselves than Harry is, so… I guess he just wants to see the world. I dunno. Like I said… I’ve not been in touch with him.” I went quiet again, hoping my silence wouldn’t be an awkward one, but I felt dizzy. I really wanted to find my thoughts and continue talking to him, but it was so strange to be hearing about Harry’s life from anyone other than the man himself. It was so unfamiliar to me. Even after Christmas, when we’d parted on such terrible terms, Harry had made sure to text me letting me know that he’d let someone else see his dreams, and that he was trying. This time, I’d received nothing from him, and I didn’t blame him for a second for cutting me out so sharply, but it was still a difficult thing for me to come to terms with. “I really thought he would’a told you.” Louis spoke calmly, with a hint of sadness. “I think I lost that privilege a while back.” I sighed. “Thank you for letting me know though. I don’t wanna… bother him, or anything but… It’s nice to know he’s okay. As far as we know.” “Y’know what? I’m gunna say to you what I said to him.” He moved to stand in front of me, taking all my attention. “I know it’s hard, that things didn’t work out, but… How sick is it, that this is what you’re moving on from? You had a relationship so full of trust and love and support, and you’ll take that knowledge and experience onto your next one. It was the first serious relationship you both had, and despite a few fuck ups you were so good to each other. You were there for each other, and that’s amazing. That’ll travel over into whoever you choose to be with next, and it’ll be such a good thing. I know it might not feel like it right now, but it’ll be amazing for you in the future. I promise.” I nodded, hoping that was true, hoping that if me and Harry were going to be nothing to one another in person, at least I could learn from my many mistakes, and maybe deal with things better when I found myself ready to love someone else. If all Harry was going to be was a lesson, then he was the greatest ever taught, and an honour to learn.

#longest chapter for a bit this one WOO #1dff #Harry Styles #TFA45 #tfa

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shenanigumi · 7 years

Text

Actual First Impressions: HakuMyu LIVE 2, Act 1!

Also contains some of Act 2 for reasons. Prepare for a LOT of rapid-fire half-asleep chocolate-high thoughts, consolidated into a single super-long text post to avoid spamming and/or oversqueeing. Good luck disentangling my observations from my emotions long enough to make any sense of either…

Atsuku Ikiro => SAMURAI Future => Yaisa! Yaisa! Yaisa! – I love this song! It’s catchy as hell and everyone gets a verse and—WAIT IS THAT SAMURAI FUTURE?!?! They’re actually quoting music from the original run?!?! Oh hey it’s Yaisa except oh my god this instrumentation is fabulous. Pieces with traditional instruments and modern beats (or really any genre of music not typically set to a modern beat) is my not-so-secret weakness. That’s why electro swing is my favorite musical genre. AAAAHHHH THIS IS SO BEAUTIFULLY ARRANGED

Sidenote: The original cast can hold their own during solos, but get them all together and they’re nothing super-special. Conversely, the new cast sounds AMAZING all together, but with a few exceptions, solos seem to be their weak points. I’m still severely biased toward the original cast in most cases, but I won’t deny that I ADORE the group numbers with the new cast.

[interlude] – Huh, the audience is even more involved than usual… must be an unwritten rule of HakuMyu that Souji is a total attentionwhore. Is that Kazama and Shiranui in the background? Are they gonna reuse the “where are they” gag from the first LIVE? Oh wait. Oh wait… What the hell is happening? What are they giving Kazama, and why? Is that pocky, or something? No, that can’t be pocky; it’s too thick. But it is edible, judging from the fact that Shiranui is feeding it to him jfc please you two or else I’m going to start headcanon-ing that Shiranui hits on Kazama to make him uncomfortable whenever he steps out of line

Okita’s song (???) – …oh thank god another musical number to break up all the confusion and awkwardness. Except I don’t really recognize this? Either it’s new or it’s from Reimeiroku since that’s the only one to which I paid like, negative attention, since I hadn’t even seen the anime and had no connection to most of the actors and. yeah. nice shoutout to his part in “SAMURAI Future”, I guess, but made somewhat less awesome by the fact that they already performed the real thing. also oh Souji you just have to blow the audience a kiss at the end too, you know you’re the favorite. ugh. insufferable child.

[SKIPPING AHEAD TO] Hisuru Hana – …my mom’s watching this with me and she really doesn’t care about most of these guys, so I’m gonna see if I can’t find Kazama to make it worth her while till she goes to bed… oh hey that’s Kazama in a demon mask isn’t it. OH HEY THAT’S HISURU HANA ISN’T IT. OH HEY THEY’RE BRINGING IN MORE SONGS FROM THE ORIGINAL RUN. OH HEY HE SOUNDS A LITTLE ROUGHER THAN USUAL AND HIS MOVEMENTS AREN’T QUITE AS SMOOTH AS IN HIS OWN MUSICAL BUT GOD DAMN.

Harada’s song (Shinsengumi Kitan) – HOLY FUCKING SHIT HARADA AND CHIZURU ARE CUTE TOGETHER HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD HE’S LIKE 50 MILES TALLER THAN SHE IS AND HE’S CARRYING HER AND HE’S DANCING WITH HER OH MY GOD HIS SONG IS LONGER NOW AND THEY’RE SO FUCKING ADORABLE THANK GODS HARADA IS GETTING A MUSICAL YES PLEASE ALSO WAY TO SUBSTANTIATE MY BULLSHIT SUPPOSITIONS THAT THEY’RE A THING IN SHINSENGUMI KITAN

[Interlude] – lolol hey it’s the idiot trio what if they do “Asonde Bakka Jyanai Ze!”?! …nah Harada already had some time in the spotlight but… wait, do Nagakura and Heisuke have any songs, just the two of them…?

Jiyū ni Narero Basho – YES, YES THEY DO! ANOTHER FAMILIAR TUNE!! One of the ones I always forget I love, too. Heisuke—good job, kid. You may not be Ikeda Junya, but I’ll allow it. Nagakura, I am thoroughly unimpressed with your voice thus far. I need to do a comparison gifset between Toudou-hen and this choreography tbfh, so much of it is a direct parallel. oh hey Heisuke’s stomach is growling!! hahaha wouldn’t it be funny if they used that to transition into—

HUNGRY GUYS => mealtime number (Shinsengumi Kitan) – FUCK YESSSS THEY’RE DOING IT!!! I LOVE THIS NUMBER OMG YES oh too bad they didn’t put the fish gag in though. Wait, did they rip this out of “Twist and Shout” by the Beatles? Oh no that’s just the transition into the roughly equivalent number from Shinsengumi Kitan. Damn they sound good together.

[Interlude] – GOD DAMN IT YOU TWO YOU ARE LITERALLY GOING TO MAKE ME SHIP RYUNOSUKE/CHIZURU JUST BECAUSE OF THIS SCENE JFC YOU’RE BOTH SO GODDAMN ADORKABLE but my mom doesn’t really care too much about Chizuru or most ships so let’s just keep right on going

[SKIPPING AHEAD WAY TOO FAST TO]—

Me: *MAKES LOUD AND SUDDEN GROANING NOISE* Mother: [annoyed] What?! Me: SHIRTLESS SHIRANUIIII Mother: …Oh.

[GOING BACK TO] the obvious femservice scene (Shinsengumi Kitan) – [here are the few semi-coherent thoughts I can remember] – fuck off Okita with your stupid suggestive water bucket – I guess at least he gets to participate this time? – please hit him with that fan Yamazaki – HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT’S SHIRTLESS SHIRANUI – HOLY SHIT – HOLY SHIT – OH MY GOD – TAKE ME NOW – oh hey also Ryunosuke who also has a literal six-pack but has to appear weak for the sake of characterization – SHIRANUI WHY ARE YOU FEELING UP HARADA – PLEASE DON’T TEMPT ME TO SHIP YOU TWO EVEN MORE UNIRONICALLY – CAMERA PLEASE – CAMERA – ZOOM IN ON SHIRANUI – PLEASE – YOU KNOW HE’S A GOOD DANCER I WANT TO SEE HIM DO THE THING – I WONDER IF HE SPECIFICALLY ASKED TO BE INCLUDED THIS TIME AROUND? – HOLY FUCK HOW IS HE JUST KINDA STAYING UPSIDE-DOWN THERE

[Interlude] – HE’S JUST CASUALLY DOING CRUNCHES AS KAZAMA ARRIVES ON THE SCENE – OF COURSE – PLEASE KAZAMA TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES – YOUR SHIRT – WHATEVER – I DON’T CARE – oh hey a watermelon ball, I guess that’s the new equivalent of the badminton scene? – NO SHIRANUI DO NOT PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON – KAZAMA PLEASE – SHIRANUI PLEASE – god damn it. [ladies and gents, my mother, voicing my scrambled thoughts – “I was kinda hoping it’d go the other way, that Kazama might…”] oh shit Amagiri’s missing again, isn’t he? Damn it, as much as I love that gag, I liked Naoya-san. Too bad he wasn’t around. But they’re probably not going to do Oni no Matsuei again, so… what next…?

Oni no Chikara – FUCK YES IT’S ANOTHER OF MY FAVORITES YES YES YES!!! wait, but if Amagiri isn’t here, why do I hear his theme—? Oh, I guess they’re just skipping it. never mind… oh and here’s Serizawa but at this point I’m really just interested in Kazama because my mom has to go to bed so

[SKIPPING AHEAD TO] Kazama’s new medley – aaaaaaaa exactly what I was looking for. Suzuki!Kazama in western wear. oh my fuck HOW can one person be so perfect. how. just. how. is it me or did they make his clothes even more form-fitting and sexier—? oh gods this is the intro to his musical!! and his singing is even more on point!!! oh shit I love that. oh hey now it’s his fight with Nagakura from Shinsengumi Kitan and they cut out his gorgeous wavering endnote on that one but whatever still a good theme. and—wait, they ARE doing Oni no Matsuei! that’s a throwback if ever I’ve seen one, but I am 100% all for more Shiranui so whatever. and—wait, “Kyōtō ~ Kyoran no Shi”? With half of Heisuke’s lines cut out? At least they slowed it down somewhat so the poor man can actually sing. And oh shit he was fighting Kodo? oh that explains why the end of “Sendai-jou no Tatakai” is happening now. and… oh gods now we’re at the end of “Bushi Toshite Ikiru Tame ni” and Hashimoto-san I love you dearly but did anyone tell you what notes to sing? NO, MOTHER, MATSUDA RYO WAS A BETTER SAITO BY A LONG SHOT, DON’T YOU DARE INSINUATE THAT HE WAS EVEN REMOTELY OFF-KEY. and ah good they’re ending it on the same set of notes, literally, as his first medley. nice way to tie it all together. good night mother

[GOING BACK TO] Saito’s song (???) – ah yes now I can record my reactions actually live instead of having to remember all that because my mother has gone to bed and I don’t mind interrupting myself. anyway this number is cool, but again, I don’t recognize it at all. did they hide it somewhere in Reimeiroku? but I like the shoutout to the instrumentation on “Don’t Forget My Style”. ok I can hear his Reimeiroku leitmotif now, so is this like, a small medley? also ok I know how childish and coincidental this is but I love that the last two lines rhyme like yessss

Hijikata’s song (???) – this kinda sounds familiar, probably from Reimeiroku. still never got the hang of Gaku-san as Hijikata, though; the notes get away from him sometimes, more often than the others I’ve heard. ya know, not that I could ever hope to sing any better while I’m doing that much but I’ve seen better Hijikatas in my day *adjusts hipster glasses*

[RELUCTANTLY SKIPPING PAST “HISURU HANA” ET AL TO] Chizuru’s song (Shinsengumi Kitan) => Ryūnosuke no Kaiko – Okay, I actually really like Chizuru’s little leitmotif, and she really does have a wonderful voice. Second or third favorite Chizuru for sure, after Tanoue Marina and tied with Yamamoto Sayaka. ooooh someone’s in loooove though, what with that Hijikata action in the background~ and OH YES THIS IS INDEED THE SONG I THOUGHT IT WAS WHEN I WAS FAST-FORWARDINGGGG oh goodness I love Ryunosuke’s little aria so much. plus the added percussion is really nice, gives it a sense of moving forward while retaining its prettiness—OH THEY ADDED MORE TO IT! and it’s so well staged! and why isn’t this man more on my butai radar I need more Shiramata Atsushi in my life. oh hey Yamazaki whatcha doing here? oh just running away I guess. it’s cool. see ya later?

[VERY RELUCTANTLY SKIPPING PAST MUSCLE SCENE ET AL TO] Gōgan Fuson’na Shi – I kinda love Serizawa? even though I also really hate him? I just feel like Kubodera Akira has a really awesome time playing the role, I mean, getting the audience involved and everything. It’s kinda cute in a super-twisted way, considering he’s busy burning everything to the ground and disrespecting everyone under the sun. seems like I have this problem with a lot of characters given that Kazama is much the same. actual favorite character, possibly actual least favorite person.

[Interlude] – here comes Kodo and… uh… THEY’RE SAYING ONE ANOTHER’S NAMES LIKE LOVERS? CRACKSHIP CONFIRMED? is there a word for pantomime that isn’t necessarily silent because I see a lot of that in butai and it’s really amazing (edit: I have since realized that pantomime is exactly the word I am looking for) and they’re physically echoing one another’s movements like a villainous courtship dance and OH MY GOD THAT HIGH FIVE AND EVIL LAUGHTER WAS REALLY CUTE A+ BROMANCE I SUPPORT THIS 100% also Kodo’s bald cap is treating him decently now

Hen Wakamizu no Chikara => Horobi no Sakebi – you cannot hope to beat Edogawa Manji in a weird-off. He is simply the best there is. What is even going on right now. He’s involving the audience in his villainous schemes and you know that pantomime thing, he’s the best at gesticulating, he really is, he’s so underrated and I have such a high respect for him and… oh, Chizuru hasn’t gotten over her emote-face, I see, and—WAIT WHAT THE FUCK. KODO-SAN WHAT ARE YOU WEARING AND HOW CAN YOU LOOK SO SERIOUS. HOW ARE THEY PLAYING THIS TOTALLY STRAIGHT WHEN HE LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS. ok maybe “respect” was the wrong word. In fact, I think I’ll just have Suzuki Shogo summarize the rest of this scene for me (since this is only the second most ridiculous Edogawa-san has looked while in-character):

Shinsengu Tanjō => Bushi no Michi ~ Ima, Kakugo no Toki [3] => Shinsengu no Michi [1] => opening track (Shinsengumi Kitan)? – ah good they’re including this. perfect!! one of their better chorus numbers, and that’s saying something—but wait—no—they’re cutting out too much of it! and now Kondou is singing Serizawa’s part?? what is this. oh but there’s Serizawa singing his beautiful little piece that I love way too much given his character. (lord help me I think I might actually understand why Ryunosuke lets him kick him around so much; the man is fascinating.) ok but all masochism aside, time to switch to sadism, since it looks like they’re gonna be killing him soon enough. and it’s well-staged, too; I love it when they do the slow-mo thing. also, yes, Ryunosuke, you can in fact sing him sweetly to sleep, ignore the fact that he’s literally trying to kill you and everyone around you. also I guess Serizawa had a semi-literal ‘Kick the Dog’ moment there huehue. and oh wow that silence was powerful. I seem to remember that being a thing in Reimeiroku too…?

[Interlude] – oh hey it’s Yamazaki. oh hey Ryunosuke that little scuttle backward you did there was adorable. oh hey you two are in really close range. oh fuck am I starting to ship this in the same way I ship Harada and Shiranui…? oh fuck. NO RYUNOSUKE BBY DON’T CRY but also thank you for distracting me from my newfound ship doubt.

Shinsengu no Michi [2] => Yaisa! Yaisa! Yaisa! (original?) – YES MORE YAMAZAKI ACTION BUT NO MORE YAMAZAKI DEATH WHY IS THIS HAPPENING but hey he’s okay now because of the Power of Chorus™ bringing Yaisa! back into the equation. I wonder whether it takes extra effort to sing different words to the same tune? because there’s a lot of that throughout the musicals, come to think of it.

INTERMISSION – HOLY SHIT IT’S YAZAKI MOTHERFUCKING HIROSHI AS A GUEST STAR BUT I REALLY NEED TO GO TO BED SO I’M GONNA HAVE TO SPLIT POSTS HERE AND HOPE YOU STICK AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO HEAR ABOUT ACT 2. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY. it’s just as well, I can feel my thoughts getting less and less coherent eheh

Sidenote: …this “literal first impressions” thing was kinda what I was initially trying to do with the much longer HakuMyu Shinsengumi Kitan review, but this is easier for me since it’s just getting all my thoughts down and out instead of trying to do anything even remotely constructive or clever with them. Hope you enjoyed anyway!

#hakuouki #hakuōki #hakuoki #hakumyu #hakumyu live 2 #reaction images #gif

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thunder-star-has-doom-pickles · 7 years

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all questions you can't let any be sad and unanswered

Okay anon here we go!

1.Who was the last person you held hands with? I honestly have no idea. I’m not a very hand-holdy person. Best guess would be @thegoinbetweens whilst being annoying/weird, haha. 2. Are you outgoing or shy? I’d err more on outgoing, at least in small groups of people. But out going in a more being-generally-friendly sense, more than grand gestures of extroversion, haha. 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? I’m really looking forward to seeing my family at the end of the month. :34. Are you easy to get along with? I’d like to think so, if you mean just casually getting along. I can be hard to genuinely get to know. 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Not sure I really *like* anyone right now. But, I’m sure my rather small number of previous interests would, given they’ve all been decent human beings, and taking care of an intoxicated friend is kinda just basic human decency. 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? *See question 38 I suppose.*7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Highly unlikely. But I’m open to being proven otherwise. ;) ;) ;) (lolwat)8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Not really anyone right now. Romantically, anyway. 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends on who I’m talking about it with to be honest. 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Nicci. 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “We should go through that 36 Questions list thing that you sent me ages ago. So I’m kicking it off with #1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? My friend made me a playlist last spring/summer, so 5 (and more) songs from that. But I’d like to keep that playlist for me because it is special and ~yay good friendship~ :313. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yeeeeesssss~~~ I don’t really like a lot of touching but massages and hair playing o m g sign me up. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? In a way, yes. 15. What good thing happened this summer? Philly trip in May was a great time. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Haven’t kissed anyone, so I got nothin’ for ya. 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Probably. 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Nope. 19. Do you like bubble baths? Only on the Most Extreme Rare™ occasion. 20. Do you like your neighbors? Back in my hometown, yes. 21. What are you bad habits? Tapping/touching/holding/moving/playing with literally all objects in front of my without really thinking about it. 22. Where would you like to travel? I’d love to go to Australia or New Zealand! 23. Do you have trust issues? Yeah, tbh. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Taking off my bra at night and putting on PJs, like w o w ultimate stress relief man. 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My upper arms. 26. What do you do when you wake up? Internally crying at the sound of my alarm. What is this godawful time? Why are the birds so happy? Why is there light; harsh, cruel, agonizing light? Why must I toil away through the void of monotonous daily existence when instead I could be cozy and warm? 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? It’s fine where it is? 28. Who are you most comfortable around? Again, Nicci. Also probably my sister. 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Never had an ex so.30. Do you ever want to get married? I’d like to, yes. 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yup. 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? None. Sorry. I’m boring. 33. Spell your name with your chin. al,dex 34. Do you play sports? What sports? What are sporps? 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Hrm. Though I’m more invested in TV than I am in music, probably TV. 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Ahahahahhahaha it me. 37. What do you say during awkward silences? Usually something that just makes it more awkward. 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Artistically/musically/etc talented. Quiet and contemplative but also just kind of a friendly doof. Like looks kinda broody on first impression, is actually just a cinnamon roll nerd. Also a little impulsive, to be honest. Has a handful of unique interests that he’d get stupidly passionate when talking about them, even if no-one else really cares, and because of this would give anyone else endless hours to talk about their own silly passions. Enjoys walking through quiet areas at night, talking. Good taste in music because I have useless music taste and would want to mooch off of his, haha. Moves hands a lot while talking. Direct and honest in his interests/intentions. I dunno if this is an actual ‘dream-guy’ so much as it is a list of qualities I find myself more drawn to, haha. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Does it sell tea? If so, keep me away from it or I will spend all of my money. 40. What do you want to do after high school? Well. Here I am. In the world of after high school. It’s okay. I’m doing some stuff. College is a good time. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? /Everyone/? No. Many? Yes. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m thinking about things. Could range from running through potential questions to worrying about pointless future outcomes and irrational fears to contemplating the plot of a book to considering my present emotional state. I wouldn’t say there is one direct meaning to my silence. 43. Do you smile at strangers? Not usually. but sometimes I make awkward eye contact and don’t know what to do so I look around awkwardly and then look back at them and uncomfortably smile and it’s a mess. 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Ocean. Got some cool fish down there man. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Sheer willpower and the realization that I have responsibilities and need to be a functioning human. 46. What are you paranoid about? Literally everything. My favorite irrational fear to dwell on is a giant piece of something very heavy falling out of the sky and crushing me without warning. So that’s fun. 47. Have you ever been high? Nope, don’t really want to. 48. Have you ever been drunk? Tipsy, yeah. Properly drunk, I don’t think so. 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Well I made a birthday gift for a friend so let’s keep that a surprise until it is time to give it to her.50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? I’m wearing one now!!! It is green~~~~~51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yeah, and also no? Like I value the perspective I have on life and wouldn’t necessarily want to give that up to forever be someone else who sees the world completely differently. But it would also be really cool just to live a day through someone else’s experience and perceptions and way of being. 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I’d be nice to be less focused on negative things sometimes. ^^53. Favourite makeup brand? Not sure I really have one tbh. Don’t use it often enough. Mom got me some bareminerals stuff though and that’s p nice I guess. 54. Favourite store? Anything with tea. 55. Favourite blog? Not sure I have a favorite right now to be honest. 56. Favourite colour? Purple! 57. Favourite food? Apple pie. oDo58. Last thing you ate? A brownie~59. First thing you ate this morning? A sandwich for lunch because what is time for breakfast?60. Ever won a competition? For what? I got first place in my school’s intense science fair thing (even though all my worms died?!!??) which was annoying because I was a senior already and had no interest in continuing this project at further competitions. >.>61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nope. 62. Been arrested? For what? Nope. 63. Ever been in love? Definitely friendship love! 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? I have no tale to tell. 65. Are you hungry right now? Nah. 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? A lot of my tumblr friends are my real friends so it’s pretty equal man. 67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook?68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr.69. Are you watching tv right now? Nope. 70. Names of your bestfriends? Nicci, Annie, Morgan, Ariel, Ashleigh, Caitlin, Kylie, Ryan, Laura, Kristen, Marisa, Rebecca71. Craving something? What? Meaning in life lolololol.72. What colour are your towels? Blue! 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? SO MANY. 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nope, but so many pillows. 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? At home? Like so many. Here at school? Like 5. 75. Favourite animal? Bats, leopards, newts~76. What colour is your underwear? Grey, presently. 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla, but with caramel~78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookies and cream is a steady fave. 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Green~80. What colour pants? Navy PJ pants with snow-flakes on them! 81. Favourite tv show? Avatar: The Last Airbender82. Favourite movie? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls. 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls. 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Janice was cool.86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory?87. First person you talked to today? My roommate. 88. Last person you talked to today? It’ll probably end up being my roommate too haha. 89. Name a person you hate? My freaking behind the wheel driving instructor from 5ever ago ugh. 90. Name a person you love? My sister~91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? That I’d actually have the ability to do? No?92. In a fight with someone? No?93. How many sweatpants do you have? I dunno like three?94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? SO MANY. TOO MANY. CANNOT COUNT. It is ideal. 95. Last movie you watched? A documentary called Who Took Johnny.96. Favourite actress? Tatiana Maslany is p cool. 97. Favourite actor? I’m not sure right now? Used to be Tom Hiddleston so I guess him still but I haven’t considered it recently. 98. Do you tan a lot? Nope I burn like a flammable object. 99. Have any pets? 1 doggo! Also some farm cats because I think they count~100. How are you feeling? Alright. Enjoying these questions! A little sad, a little worried, but that’s p standard. 101. Do you type fast? Yes? 102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yuuuuuuup. 103. Can you spell well? Vocally, no, I’m crap. Visually (typing/paper) I’m not terrible, but I wouldn’t say I’m super duper. 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? I miss the way my mom’s side of the family used to be. Lots of drama has happened and it’s ruined a lot of relationships. 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeeeees! They are fun. 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I’d be shocked if I had. 107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yep! 108. What should you be doing? Homework and readings probably haha. 109. Is something irritating you right now? The current state of the world lulz.110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Ye. 111. Do you have trust issues? Did we already ask this? But, ye, I think I do. 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Hrrrrmmmmmm. Either Nicci via phone or Fort Bees, not sure of order of events. 113. What was your childhood nickname? Scooter. 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes~115. Do you play the Wii? No. 116. Are you listening to music right now? Not at the moment. 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yeeess~~118. Do you like Chinese food? Yep! 119. Favourite book? I’m really a fan of Cloud Atlas right now. 120. Are you afraid of the dark? Definitely not. The dark is superior. 121. Are you mean? I try not to be, but I can be. 122. Is cheating ever okay? Short answer: No. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Probably not. XD124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. 125. Do you believe in true love? Yes!126. Are you currently bored? I feel more neutral at the moment than I do actively bored. Plus I like answering questions haha. 127. What makes you happy? Tea. Watching the stars on a clear night. Long genuine conversations. Traveling and seeing places in the world. Pushing Daisies hehe. 128. Would you change your name? I’ve considered changing my full first name (Alexandra) to just Alex. So. Yes I would, but I don’t know if I actual will. 129. What your zodiac sign? Aquarius. 130. Do you like subway? It’s fine. 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? That position is currently held by Ryan, who is currently in a v committed relationship, so I’d have some strong concerns. 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Nicci. 133. Favourite lyrics right now? I dunno man that’s so much work. 134. Can you count to one million? CAN I? It is possible. Will I or do I want to? No. 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? Ugh so I got overwhelmed once and made everyone I went to middle school with think I was allergic to peanut butter because I was afraid that I might be because my brother is allergic to it but I’d never been tested or had a severe reaction to it but I didn’t want peanuts on my chocolate cake so I asserted that I was very allergic and this lie has followed me to this day and I don’t know what to do because it’s very dumb and I was a useless middle schooler. 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed. What kind of heathen sleeps with them open!?137. How tall are you? 5′1.5138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight. 139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette.140. Summer or Winter? Already answered141. Night or Day? already answered142. Favourite month? already answered143. Are you a vegetarian? No. 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? ALL CHOCOLATE~145. Tea or Coffee? Tea~~~~~146. Was today a good day? It was alright. Pretty standard. WizMug was fun~147. Mars or Snickers? Mars. 148. What’s your favourite quote? My roommate once got flustered with people giving her compliments and was trying to saw ‘Aw you guys are buttering me up!’ but ended up saying ‘You guys are greasing me up like a butter ball!’ and I think that’s hilarious. 149. Do you believe in ghosts? I’m open minded, but not convinced. 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line It’s dark, roommate is sleeping, so alas I cannot do this right now.

Wow that took a while!

#interesting ponders

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datingadviceonreddit · 7 years

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MR:Also if ***** is going to run a "wellness page," on top of constantly talking about how uncomfortable she is/used to be about her weight and the things you can do to start bettering yourself...why is she posting pictures of drinking alcohol at 12 on a Monday...like that is just a cup of sugar essentially that will put her days behind whatever goals she has. I'm not hating just suggesting as a friend I would point it out to her if i was her friend and genuinely cared about her staying on trackKK:lol seriously? Wellness is not the same thing as getting in shape or eating cleanMR: They're undoubtedly major variables to it...KK:And even if it was why are you judging herMR:I'm not judging her at allKK: So if you're trying to be healthy you're not allowed to post a photo having a drinkMR:If *** told me he was genuinely trying to get healthy and in shape I would suggest he doesn't have a sugar cup at 12pm on a Monday If any of my friends were genuinely trying to change like she isKK:Again that's not what she's trying to doMR:And then posted pictures out drinking on Monday early. I'd be like you're setting yourself up to fail sorryKK: Literally she had an eating disorder and an excessive disorder and she lost way too much weight and now that she is finally able to post something like that and have a drink and not have to worry about how many carbs or sugar she is eating and analyzing every single thing she puts into her body people are judging her?MR:I know you're responding emotionally cause she's your friend, but I'm not judging her or think she's wrong. We're all just walking each other home, and everyone needs to hear tough love sometimesKK:Like people judged her when she had an eating disorder and all she posted then was eating healthy and working outMR: I get thatKK: No you sound ignorant and don't understand what an eating disorder is apparentlyMR:Okay lmao You're right! Jesus I can't even imagine how annoyed other people must get if they tried giving you any constructive criticismKK:It's not even about being right like what is your problem it's about having empathy and the fact that you felt you should screenshot her post and say that she shouldn't be having one drink at noon is RidiculousMR:I didn't say that I said if you were a friend you probably should mention that is all But I also forget not everyone cares as deeply as I do about the little things NevermindKK:Mention what.MR:Like I said nevermind I forgot I was wrong,ridiculous, and ignorant, and it's not like I had a friend kill themselves in highschool over an eating disorder, I know nothing about it apparently!!!KK:That having an unhealthy drink is worse than not eating at all? That she shouldn't post a photo of herself having an alcoholic drink? That having one drink will put her days behind her wellness goals without knowing what her wellness goal is?MR: But seriously you really need to check your ego in terms of literally never once being able to admit when you're wrong, being open to other perspectives, etc Like literally everyone I know who knows you kind of well has commented on it to me, including your entire family It's very frustratingKK:How am I wrong? It's not about me it's about understandingMR:I never said you were wrong But you're talking to me like I am When all I'm saying is if she's concerned with wellness, alcohol should be the first thing to go. That's like a golden rule, if she started going to a class, they'd tell her the same thing. Please consider how frustrating it is for me to have gone almost 4 years with you NEVER ONCE being able to admit you're not right all the fucking time. It's like so genuinely absurd and the fact you aren't getting that is very bothersome.KK :No again wellness is not the same as healthMR: They're all connected Holy fuck How can't you see thatKK:Honestly if it's such a problem why don't you message her about it yourselfMR: You literally conduct conversation like you're the top expert on everything And even the times I tangibly prove you wrong you can't even admit it It's so fucking absurd It isn't a problem! You freaked out on me for judging her when I wasn't in the slightest. I'm done with this conversation. But like again, you can always send me shit about *** or whatever or **** or it's totally fine to make fun of my friends who aren't perfect. Then I make a genuine suggestion about *** cutting back on drinking, since she obvi was this weekend with you too....alll I'm saying is you could say something like you want to see her staying happy and on the path to wellness and drinking on weekends and then mid day on Monday fucks with your stomach and mental health. That's not an opinion that's a fact of the matter And you fucking blow up about me being ignorant, ridiculous, judgemental, I don't understand a friend who died. Like you seriously need to check yourself sometimesKK: article linkMR:And when any other normal person would say something like sorry, we both have different perspectives, I feel you judged her is all, maybe we could talk about it differently...you'll probably just try to continue to educate me why I'm wrong Andddddd right on fuckig que there it is, I'm shutting my phone off Literally crying right nowKK: Honestly if you want to shut your phone off that's fine. But *** edited that article and her friend wrote it so maybe you'd understand hearing it come from her and not meMR: still can't acknowledge what I said. Fuck. I'm probably not going to come tonight sorry, I honestly can't deal with this shit right now Having been wrong the last 4 years is starting to wear away at me Like it's very clear your genuinely just not processing how frustrating it is for me to deal with this shit all the time, and I try to bring it up and talks about it and it's ignored, every time. It doesn't even make senseKK:The only time you bring it up is when you say something controversial and I have an opposing viewMR:Holy fuck Not true in the slightest It's embedded in every single conversation Your parents, sister, and my friends who've met you have all mentioned it so many times And you're still just like NAH You literally just talk to people like they have a learning disability, and whenever you're proved wrong you immediately ignore it/don't acknowledge it/apologize for being rude or anything It's all just "you're ridiculous, you're ignorant, here's how you're supposed to see it..." I'm sorry I'm not trying to attack you but like I'm at my witts end in regards to it. How can you not even realize you responded aggressively out of emotion without even considering the only misunderstanding was in the wording I chose Have you left yet? Cause we should probably talk in person before you go if not. Like the amount of times you've texted me trying to educate me on my friends and what they should or shouldn't be doing..and I make a genuine suggestion and you go berserk on me. That's not oka Okay we drive safe then I guess. Last thing. You literally send me screenshots of your own cousin, and make fun of/judge the guys she's with etc etc etc. do you not see how contradicting it is for you to lose your shit when I suggest something for one of your friend, but be totally fine with bashing your friends/family? I'm not mad I hope you aren't either, I'm sorry I kind of blew up, but please try to understand why I get frustrated Okay well can you at least tell me you got there safeKK:It’s one thing to be frustrated. I’ve been working on being less negative and admitting when I’m wrong, but I’m not wrong here. Women grow up having their bodies literally controlled by men. For you to say that *** should or shouldn’t be eating something and what she should be doing instead is completely out of line. The point of a wellness page is to promote sustainable and lifelong behavior. It’s not about getting in shape, its not about losing weight and its not about eating clean 100% of the time. Assuming that she is trying to lose weight is just wrong and saying someone shouldn’t have an instagram about wellness if they post a photo of them drinking alcohol is attempting to control women’s choices and their bodies. Even if that’s not what you intended it’s still what you’re doing. And I think the politicians and rest of the men in the world do enough of that already. Having an eating disorder is not healthy or sustainable and promoting foods and good or bad for someone is just reinforcing their feelings that they don’t deserve to eat. Maybe you didn’t mean anything by the comment, but I just want you to think about it from someone else’s perspective. Which is what I am trying to get better at doing.MR:Ok Jesus Christ Ok I think you're being completely delusional to be honest I'm not sure what the fuck your problem is You should reread what I said, then what you said. Otherwise I'm screenshotting and sending to your parents or something I said you suggest to your friend she doesn't have a sugary alcoholic drink on a Monday mid day I'd tell that to my parents, my friends, my girlfriend, my children. All without hesitation. If someone told me they were on the path to wellness, and I saw them drinking 4 nights a week, I would say something. I understand she has the same thing a friend of mine killed them selves over. I really do. You're the only one here who needs to consider other perspectives. I'm not coming tonight if this is the mindset you're in, it's completely absurd to be this hostile over nothing. I'll talk to you tomorrow.KK:4 nights a week? Honestly what are you talking aboutMR:Have a good night Sorry, from Friday to Monday is only 3 nights, not 4, you're correct. Again, you've totally ignored what I've said before about you constantly shitting on your friends and family, I'm not sure why me suggesting *** doesn't have a margarita on a Monday triggered you so intensely, it's kind of bizarre Like how do you think that's fair for me in conversation every single time. For me to be wrong when I'm not and you to just totally avoid apologies or acknowledging when you're in the wrong or misunderstood or whatever it is Every single time I lay it all out, and get shit for a response. You've gotta help make it a two way street here. Awesome I'm going for a walk I'll be back in an hour.KK:Because you literally don't know what you're talking about. 3 nights? Like she had one drink with us on Saturday and this on Monday. Who knows when she had a drink last before that and when she will have one next. She's not an alcoholic and it's interesting that you choose to comment on her when she's at least trying to better herself when every other one of our friends in ***** probably had ten plus drinks this weekend and posted how drunk they were over social mediaMR:I've texted all of them personally And they've thanked me for looking out for them I'll send you the screenshotsKK: Okay and do you think that has motivated them to change?MR: Again, I'm baffled by your total lack of how you talk to peopleI think it helpsAt least I'm showing I care Nevermind your right I always forget that silly meLet her do whatever she wants I'm wrongKK:Actually that's exactly rightMR:I keep forgetting you're not supposed to consider those around youKK:Let her do what she wants it's two drinks a weekMR:For sure Again, shitting on ***** folk, when I wasn't even shitting on her in the slightest you're really just like your sister aren't youKK:Do you hear yourself?MR:Yep I think you're the one who has to do some reconsidering right now If you genuinely don't see it like that then idk if I can see you for awhile I'm not sure what the fuck else I can do I'll venmo you or write you a check for the money I owe you How much is it exactly according to you so I don't piss you off again Let me know by tomorrow morning ish please so I can drop a check off after work.KK:You're saying you want to break upMR:I'm saying I need some time if this is the constant state of how you're going to talk to me, I'm sorry. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. If you think I'm enjoying any second of it then think again. I wanted to come sleep with you tonight. I saw your friend post a picture of a fat margarita on a Monday before 12pm. If *** had done it you'd have mentioned it to me for sure, as you have for the last few years w his, ****, and whoevers snap chats. I didn't realize you'd react so emotionally. But I kind of realized that's the way it goes every single time and in every singe controversial topic I always end up apologizing for nothing and you walk away like you've educated me on something opinion based. I just can't keep it up being spoken to like I have Down syndrome in every single conversation we have. I don't want to break up in the slightest, but I also don't know if hanging out tonight or tomorrow makes sense for us if this is the mindset your in. via /r/dating_advice

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