#when it was happening once an hour for like hours at a time for months i was in literal hell

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (9)

Chapter 9: You (Show Me Where My Days Went)

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

Warning: cursing

Word count: 9.8k

Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au

Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hi, lovelies!! LMLAR is BACK!! I am sooo happy I could finally update and just write, y'all have no idea! I am so sorry for making you wait so long for this update, but finishing my thesis was super important! I still have to study and such this month, but I promise next update won't take as long as this one did! (I'm writing other stories too while writing this one, so that kinda backfires sometimes lol) I am forever grateful that you are patient and stick around for the new chapters, this story is so dear to me you wouldn't even believe it. I am also super grateful and happy whenever you leave feedback, so please, keep on doing just that!<3 This chapter only exists because I was randomly inspired, and I'd like to apologize if it's a little rusty, I always have to get in "character" when I write this story lol. I am soo excited for next chapter, I think it's going to surprise you hehe. PLS PLS imagine that airport look from Mingi when reading this chapter, the pics from the moodboard, you'll see during which part! I also have a very small surprise at the end of this chapter hehe. I hope the time jumps aren't too confusing:(( Please, listen to the song called You before or while reading! Enough yapping, I hope you enjoy and leave feedback! (Taglist is always open for those interested! ^^)

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf

@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

Later that day

I hate him: hey…just checking in that I got home safely what are u up to?

I blinked, fingers tightening around my phone before I locked it, leaving the message on unread. My mother’s shuffling outside my door caught my attention, bringing a smile onto my lips as I watched her struggle while bringing all the dirty laundry to the bathroom. Then, I got off my bed to go help her.

Friday (11:30 am)

I hate him: i see u still haven’t checked my message… nothing too worrisome u certainly know how to make a man yearn for you lol that was a joke…dont freak out on me pls (lowkey true tho)

Friday (12:50 pm)

I hate him: lol, wooyoung has been bitching about seulgi’s professor for half an hour now mr. kwon u know him? i mean…i suppose he also teaches u i should take a sneaky video for u…wooyoung looks like a clown hanging upside down my bed and pouting like a damn child too (dont say im also one, thanks)

Friday (15:26 pm)

I hate him: well…ik my messages are going through so uh… why tf are u ignoring me???! *cries and dies in loneliness* entertain me dollll!!! im so bored pls oh…u said u had an important assignment…i bet u’re busy with that sorry for spamming u (text back tho when u’re done, im dying here…wooyoung is with seulgi and so is seonghwa with hongjoong…the single life sucks, bestie…lets be single and depressed together<3)

My jaw clenched as I heaved a long sigh, falling back on my bed as the sun shone brightly through my open window, the light breeze making me shiver as I only wore a t-shirt and sweats. Autumn was slowly turning into winter; the weather wasn’t so warm anymore. I threw another look at my phone, unlocked it, and stared at the received messages from Mingi for a second before finally deciding to delete them from my notification center, rolling over in bed to muffle a frustrated scream into my soft, and purple, pillow.

            Saturday (9:09 am)

I hate him: i had the weirdest dream and im not even sure i want to tell u about it LOL but uh…a grisly was chasing me??? and then u appeared on a fucking white horse like a prince LOL and threatened to like…slay it if it didnt leave me alone??? honestly…what a slay, bestie good morning, btw, doll hope u had a better night’s sleep than me (and dreamed of me ehehehe)

            Saturday (17:40 pm)

I hate him: i cant believe i allowed myself to be fooled like this back in highschool yuyu and i used to play baseball for shits and giggles and hongjoong (that rich prick) rented a whole ass baseball field for us for the afternoon and let us play with some of his (rich af) friends and uh… i think i wont be able to walk straight for another week with how much running i did… hongjoong kept scoring homeruns…i wish yuyu was here to kick his loser ass (dont tell hwa or hong i said that PLS) yo doll…everything’s alright with u? uh u…really havent answered me since… yk…i stayed over and waited for the rain to stop… have i done something wrong?

I sighed and put my phone on ‘do not disturb’, suddenly having lost all of my appetite as I forced the rest of the lettuce down my throat. My mother was sipping her kiwi and apple smoothie, eyes narrowed as she muttered to herself while trying to memorize the recipe of a dessert for later. Desserts were never her forte, unfortunately.

“Is it Seulgi?” She asked absentmindedly as I took a large gulp of my own smoothie, staring down at my salad, steak pushed to the side in my plate.

“Huh?” I asked distracted, eyes still glued to the dark screen of my phone.

“Texting you, your phone keeps buzzing, my starlight.” I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but didn’t bother to comment on it. I took a peek at my mother and her eyes were narrowed at me already, video on YouTube paused. Fuck, I had to answer her now or else she’d pester me all day long. And that would be a nightmare.

“Yeah, it’s Seulgi.” I lied, trying to make my voice sound convincing.

“Well, answer her then, don’t be rude.” My mother chastised me, pressing play on her video again, pursing her lips as she shook her head at whatever the man baking was saying.

“Later.” I whispered, biting my lower lip as my eyes remained glued to my phone, stomach clenching and heart dropping.

But I couldn’t.

            Sunday (1:01 am)

I hate him: …you’re ignoring me, arent u? im sorry, y/n, i dont know what i did wrong, but we can talk about it we’re friends, after all…right?

『When you came along, I knew what was wrong

If you want to know exactly what I've missed』

            Monday (present time)

            It truly would have been a missed opportunity if Seulgi and I wouldn’t have grabbed coffee and went to sit in our usual spot in the back garden. The campus of our University was huge and that was perfect, because it meant people migrated and didn’t stay in one spot for long—at least long enough to irritate me to no end. Last week deemed to be rather rough, and I still didn’t feel like completely myself. To be honest, I thought about staying home today—and for the rest of the week—but I couldn’t afford missing any of my classes as exam period was slowly nearing, and so, I had to force my ass out of the house this morning before my mother could come and nag me about my weirdly unusual broody mood that has been going on for the past few days.

I hummed as I took a sip of my sweet coffee, enjoying the taste of warm caramel as Seulgi sighed loudly next to me, both hands cupped around her own coffee cup. The scent of cinnamon wafted from her cup and I scrunched up my nose, not too fond of the ingredient’s smell. Our classes started early in the morning today and we’d be here for at least four more hours, caffeine seemed like our only hope to stay awake and aware at this point. Given the fact that my baffling thoughts kept me up all night yesterday, I felt grateful that I was still on my feet at two o’clock at noon. As Seulgi fidgeted again, I chuckled and finally turned my head to look at her. She had a sheepish look on her face, and I tried not to laugh as I knew she was bursting to tell me all about her date with Wooyoung on Saturday.

“Well,” I started as I took a sip of my coffee, prolonging the suspense for her, “how did your date go?”

“It was amazing!” I had barely finished asking as Seulgi exclaimed, her cheeks turning rosy—and it wasn’t due to the cold air, “Wooyoung is—everything I thought he would be. He’s sweet and up for anything, he makes me laugh until I feel like passing out, and there’s just never a dull moment with him, you know?”

“One would expect that from him.” I muttered against my cup, laughing as Seulgi nudged my side, not looking too happy with my comment, “Oh, come on, it would be hard for Wooyoung to be different than the way he mostly presents himself; don’t you think?”

Seulgi grumbled something against her cup as she lightly bit into the carton, shooting me a pointed stare, “Well, yes, but…he makes me happy. Treats me well and all that, you know, he’s the perfect embodiment of what a boyfriend should be like.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” I teased with a smirk, wriggling my eyebrows at my best friend as her cheeks flushed an even darker color as she bit her lower lip, trying to mask the huge grin expanding on her lips. But as soon as I started giggling, Seulgi also broke out in a fit of giggles, hiding herself behind her wavy hair, pressing her cup of coffee against her face.

“God, I’m so down bad for him, Y/N, I don’t think you’d understand.” She mused, voice airy as she threw her head back, leaning back against the back of the bench. I chuckled and took another sip of my drink.

“Maybe I’d do.” I muttered, memories of my relationship with Yunho resurfacing. Thankfully, however, I managed to repress them as quickly as they came. They didn’t feel so gut-wrenching anymore, and to my surprise, didn’t leave a bitter taste in its wake either. What has changed? Certainly—certainly getting closer to his best friend didn’t influence the way I feel about Yunho, right? Right.

“So,” I glanced at Seulgi from the corner of my eyes as she swung her legs, looking down at her feet in the process, “how are you?”

“Fine, why?” I asked confused, angling my body to face Seulgi better.

“You’ve been…distant the whole weekend. I could barely reach you.” Seulgi’s voice sounded small and I gulped, feeling bad for making her worry about me, “You know…the last time you pulled away and disappeared, it was bad.”

“I promise you I am doing completely fine, Seulgi, you’d be the first person to know if I was in a bad headspace again, alright?” I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Seulgi sighed and then raised her head to look at me, lips pulled into a thin line.

“Promise?”

“Of course, I promise.” I smiled at her warmly and she hummed in contentment, squeezing my hand back as she took a sip of her coffee. I followed suit before removing my hand from hers to fiddle with my half empty cup, “I’m just dealing with some things right now. I think I’m confused.”

“About what?” Seulgi asked curiously, leaning closer as I continued to avoid eye contact with her.

“I’ll tell you once I have my thoughts sorted about it.” I chuckled, making Seulgi roll her eyes in displeasure.

“You know, I tell you absolutely everything about myself and how I fell, and you always shut me out and tell me how you felt about a situation when it’s been over for years.” Seulgi pouted, narrowing her eyes at me, “How’s that fair, Y/N?”

“Hey, we work differently, don’t try to guilt trip me now.” I chuckled and took a sip of my coffee, making Seulgi roll her eyes, “Anyways, what did you do on your date with Wooyoung?”

“We went to the cinema,” Seulgi’s face lit up once again, grinning from ear to ear, “He bought me roses, a big bouquet. And after the movie we went for a walk and ended up stargazing in his cabriolet. It was really romantic.”

I smiled, feeling happy for my friend, she deserved someone like Wooyoung, “That actually sounds really amazing…and romantic.”

“Oh, my God, are you really Y/N? Where is my friend that hates anything that has to do with romance, cute stuff, and love?!” Seulgi’s shocked face was mocking and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I leaned back against the back of the bench.

“I don’t hate it, I’m just not a huge fan of all of those things, okay?!” I shrugged, letting my arms fall from my chest as I pushed them inside my coat’s pockets.

“Who’s the culprit?” When I raised my eyebrows at Seulgi, a sign that I didn’t understand her question, she chuckled and leaned closer, “Who’s the man that’s changing your views on life, huh?”

“Man?” I asked with a scoff, giving Seulgi a deadpanned expression, “Does it always have to be about a man? Can’t it be just the fact that I had a change of mind?”

“Sure, because of someone.” Seulgi had a smug look on her face, acting as if she won the argument. But there was no argument here and she had no idea what she was talking about.

“Whatever—” But I got cut off as her phone dinged loudly. Seulgi, very comically, scrambled to reach for her phone and as she opened it up, a wide grin stretched onto her lips. It didn’t take two braincells to realize who had texted her, and thus, I chuckled and turned my head. I sipped my coffee, taking in my environment while Seulgi answered her boyfriend, giggling quietly every now and then.

The campus was finally silent and not as busy as it usually was in the early morning hours. The cold weather also helped in keeping the garden a little quieter as most people preferred to stay inside the warm corridors and classrooms. But the chilly air was good, it soothed my nerves and erased thoughts that weren’t productive. Similar to that, were the emotions that I didn’t want to deal with again, like the guilt that’s never left me ever since Mingi walked out of my house wearing Yunho’s old clothes. It felt wrong letting him take them without knowing the truth about them, but I didn’t feel ready to tell him yet about the truth. I was scared, surprisingly, of what he’d think of me once he found out about Yunho and I. I was scared that—he’d walk away, like Yunho had once done. And that was a very frightening thought. But when had I become so attached to Mingi? When has Mingi managed to infiltrate himself so thoroughly in my life, that the thought of completely losing him became scary? And why was I taking the past few days so badly? It’s not like we were as close as Seulgi and I, or him and Seonghwa and Wooyoung, yet, ignoring him felt like the wrong move to do. However, the reasoning I always circled back to was the fact that I needed space. I had to clear my mind, to find the purpose of this whole friendship that’s been blooming between us, and to make sense of everything. I had to figure out first why Yunho barely scraped my thoughts now, and why was it was Mingi who I found myself thinking of so often. In case you were wondering, no, I still haven’t found the reason, and it was becoming frustrating quite quickly. That near kiss was a—mistake. Yet, it could have been so much worse—it could have been a real kiss. And a real kiss would have ruined everything. I didn’t want to open up to anyone just yet, not when the memories of Yunho still haunted me in my dreams and drawings. Drawings that now more often than not consisted of Song Mingi.

And to my horror, the flipping of paper sheets is what alerted me back to my surroundings as I had been lost in my thoughts, oblivious to Seulgi putting her phone down and grabbing my sketchbook that lay between the two of us on the bench. As I turned my head, my eyes widened as Seulgi’s expression held surprise but amusement as well. She chuckled as she looked up, making eye contact with me. I lunged forward in an instant, trying to take my sketchbook out of her hands, but she leaned back and away, putting it behind herself.

“Bitch, I’m not the only one who’s down bad for a man.” She said with a laugh, making me groan as I gave up trying to snatch my sketchbook back from her.

“I’m not down bad for a man, Seulgi, stop this non-sense.” I hissed, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she kept flipping through my drawings.

“Please,” She scoffed, turning my sketchbook around and making me grimace as I came face to face with an exact replica of Mingi, sitting in his chair, at his studio that one time he invited me inside, “Who the fuck draws so many drawings of one single person if they aren’t in love with them—”

“I’m not in love with Mingi, stop it!” I exclaimed, heart beating fast as Seulgi raised her eyebrows at me, looking unimpressed, “Don’t ever again say that, Seulgi.”

“Okay, calm down, whatever. You’re not in love with Mingi.” She chuckled, closing my sketchbook but she didn’t hand it back yet, “But let’s face it, Y/N, you have a thing for Mingi. It’s super freaking obvious even without the drawings.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I hissed and finally snatched the sketchbook out of her hands, clutching it to my chest. I knew bringing this along today would turn out to be a mistake, and here I was, facing the repercussions of my actions.

“There’s this glint in your eyes whenever you look at him—”

“Yeah, it’s called dislike.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

“And I see how you struggle to refrain yourself from smiling when you’re around him—”

“Bitch, be for real, Mingi and I aren’t even often together around you for you to notice that.” I scoffed, completely appealed by whatever absurd claims my best friend was making.

“So you’re not denying it—would it really be so bad if you liked Mingi?” But Seulgi ignored all my interruption as she raised her eyebrows at me, smiling softly, “He’s a nice guy. Very well-mannered and with a big, and good heart. Wooyoung loves him a lot and is always worrying about him. He says Mingi hasn’t been the same ever since his best friend moved away for college—”

“Mingi is Yunho’s best friend!” I blurted out before I could stop myself, finally feeling like a stone was taken off my chest as I bit my lower lip, averting my eyes from Seulgi’s shocked expression, “Mingi is the best friend Yunho had always talked so much about while we were together. I—do you understand why it would be so bad if I ended up liking Mingi?”

“Y/N,” Seulgi whispered, eyebrows furrowed, “for how long have you know?”

“Long enough.” I muttered before clearing my throat, “So please understand that I’m not ready for whatever the hell me drawing all those sketches of Mingi could mean. A month ago I was close to bursting out crying even at the thought of Yunho, and now I fail to remember his existence on my best days.”

When I dared take a peek at Seulgi, she was smiling softly, almost proudly, “Fine, I’ll pester you about this later on, when you’ve figured things out, but until then—you can’t deny Mingi isn’t hot—”

“Can we stop talking about Min—”

“Hi, girls!” I jumped in fright at the overly excited and shrill greeting as both Seulgi and I turned our heads to be met with…Wooyoung and Mingi. Speak of the devil. Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat, and my heart started beating just a little bit faster as my eyes fell on Mingi’s tall form. It didn’t help that underneath his coat he was wearing Yunho’s sweater—the one I had given him.

“Hi.” Seulgi giggled as Wooyoung leaned down to press a kiss against her cheek, the two looking sickly in love. It was actually endearing, but I’d never admit it out loud for my own sake as I knew I’d get teased about it by Seulgi. I averted my eyes from Wooyoung and Seulgi as they were muttering things to each other, and so, had no choice but to look up at Mingi, who looked—expressionless. Something in my stomach dropped at his cold demeanor, and it was worse that I wanted to assume it was my fault that he looked like that. But just as I was about to look away, he cracked the tiniest smile ever, and I exhaled, licking my lips.

“Hi.” My voice was small as I gulped, eyes trans-fixated on the tall man as his smile became just a little wider. I don’t think I had the power to ignore him anymore, not when he was standing right in front of me, looking like he wished to be anywhere but here.

“Hi, Y/N.” Having not heard his voice in days, it sounded even deeper and raspier than usually, making butterflies erupt in my stomach as my grip tightened around my sketchbook. I felt a little awkward, perhaps even tense, as Mingi didn’t say anything else, just continued gazing down at me with his sharp dark brown eyes boring into my own. I had so many things that I could’ve said to him, but I felt tongue tied. I didn’t know what would be the right way to approach him after I ignored him for so many days. Would he understand? Is he mad at me now? Does he hate me now? Will he forgive me—

“Okay,” Wooyoung chuckled, syllable drawn out and sounding amused, “I feel like I’m interrupting something here, yet they are basically just staring at each other.”

“You’re right.” Seulgi giggled, and I finally looked away from Mingi, throwing a glare at my best friend as she had leaned into Wooyoung’s side, who stood next to the bench and her.

“Shush, you two.” Mingi beat me to telling the two love-birds off, and I couldn’t help but smile, “Don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong to.”

“Look who’s lecturing me about poking my nose where it doesn’t belong to—”

“Wooyoung.” Mingi’s tone held a warning, and it made Wooyoung giggle as he leaned down and pressed a fat kiss against Seulgi’s cheek—again—making her push him away playfully.

“We’re headed to class, are you coming over later?” Wooyoung smiled down at his girlfriend, playing with a strand of her hair.

“Maybe, if I get to finish my project.” Seulgi said with a pout and Wooyoung hummed, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips this time around. I averted my eyes, not a fan of seeing couples kiss, only to catch Mingi already looking at me. He was expressionless once again, but he was fidgeting with his fingers, looking almost nervous. And as Wooyoung stood up straight and ruffled Seulgi’s hair affectionately, Mingi took a deep breath.

“Will you come to Outlaw this Friday?” He asked in a rush, sounding almost reluctant as his eyebrows furrowed slightly and he chewed on his lower lip. To my horror, I found my eyes fixated on his plush mouth and I gulped before I quickly averted my eyes, praying that nobody caught it.

“Yes.” I answered before Seulgi could, and nodded, smiling a little bit, “I won’t miss it.”

A beautiful smile spread on Mingi’s lips and he nodded once, looking too happy for something so little. I don’t think I’ll understand anytime soon why he gets so excited and happy when I listen to his songs or watch him perform. I’m no expert when it comes to music, my feedback is merely amateur and I’m not even a fan of his band yet.

“Cool, see you then.” And Mingi didn’t wait for Wooyoung as he turned around and walked away, steps hurried. I didn’t miss the confused glance Wooyoung and Seulgi shared before Wooyoung was off, chasing after his best friend. And maybe I would be soon able to make sense of my thoughts and feelings around Mingi, figure out what they meant and why they felt so real at times.

            Monday (16:58 pm)

I hate him: hi Me: hi I hate him: would it be a lot if i asked to meet u tomorrow? Me: no, im free in the afternoon I hate him: cool, me too so uh…we can hang out in my studio? Me: or we can go to that new café with pottery I hate him: really? Me: u did say u wanted us to go… I hate him: i certainly said so i’ll pick u up around 4 Me: u don’t have to i’ll meet you there I hate him: come on, y/n…let me drive u Me: u’ve driven me around too many times by now i’ll meet u there and that’s final. I hate him: okay, boss, see ya there Me: :))

            Getting here before four o’clock and having to wait in front of the cute café had no business being this nerve-wrecking. Yeah, Mingi hasn’t shown up yet—but perhaps that’s because there were still ten minutes until it’d be four—and I knew I had no reason to think he’d bail on me, but we hadn’t spoken since yesterday, when he had asked me if we could hang out. And so, waiting for him shouldn’t have had me breaking out in a sweat despite the cold weather, making me bite my lower lip harshly as I tried to smooth down the wool, green, brown, and beige patterned coat I was wearing. First of all, why the hell would I be so nervous about meeting up with Mingi alone at this cute café? He probably wanted to talk about that near kiss, and once we had that cleared, things would go back to normal—right?!

And maybe that was the reason which made me want to vomit on the sidewalk, the thought that I knew Mingi would demand answers—answers that I wasn’t yet ready to hand out. Why did I even agree to this? Because I missed him? I should have just stayed at home and done the project I’ve been procrastinating on—again. But when I heard the rumble of Mingi’s old Honda’s engine, I knew there was no turning back, catching the bus and running home to hide underneath my blanket.

As Mingi took his time to parallel park, I took a deep breath and gripped onto the strap of my tote bag harder, looking down at myself. My apricot orange sneakers matched the color of my blouse, the top two buttons out of five undone, but not showing too much skin. My blouse was tucked inside my washed out high waisted mom jeans, the black belt matching the color of my tote bag—I know black isn’t a color, I’m an arts major after all. My hair was pulled in a low ponytail just to prevent the wind from blowing it in my face, and I was thankful that I chose my wool coat as it kept me warm enough. I have opted to wear quite a few rings today, and because my neck felt too exposed, I decorated it with three necklaces of different length. I gulped hard one last time as Mingi got out of his car and took a few seconds until he managed to lock it. However, those few seconds were exactly what I needed to prepare myself to not pass out at the full sight of him.

Mingi, in true fashion to him, wore all black, except for his jeans that were a very dark shade of blue, almost black too. His turtleneck was tucked inside his jeans, a black coat with a hood keeping him warm from the cold late autumn weather. It almost made me smile upon seeing his own tote bag, black, and funnily matching mine. Except that his was plain, while mine had Claude Monet’s Water-Lily Pond painting painted on it, done by none other than yours truly, me. Mingi’s eyes were concealed by black sunglasses, and I snorted as he almost splashed himself up by stepping a little too enthusiastically into a big puddle. Two necklaces hung around his neck, reaching down his chest. A very obvious and sturdy silver cross necklace, and another longer chain that had pearls scarcely strung on it.  And in true Song Mingi fashion, his rings weren’t missing, only two of his nails painted black on each hand, almost as if he didn’t have time to finish doing them. My heart racing in my chest so fast just at the mere sight of him, certainly wasn’t healthy, right?

“Hi!” I squeaked out and wished to burry myself instantly as Mingi chuckled, a very charming smile spreading onto his lips. It was a little annoying that I couldn’t see his eyes, forced to stare at his plush lips instead—let’s be real, nobody forced me, I did it because I couldn’t help myself, “The sun is quite blinding today, isn’t it?”

And of course, in good old fashion, my mouth worked before my brain would agree to saying something out loud, and my cheeks were burning as I knew Mingi saw me look at his lips. I had to divert the attention somehow, and teasing him was my best method, actually. It always worked.  

“I’m trying to make a fashion statement,” Mingi grinned as he gripped the sunglasses and took them off in a very unnaturally hot way, “but hello to you too.”

“No need for a fashion statement when it’s just the two of us,” I narrowed my eyes, finding Mingi’s hair very soft and fluffy looking, almost as if he had recently washed it, and it wasn’t completely dry, “I’m not one of your fans.”

“Pity,” Mingi hummed, stepping slightly closer to me, “I thought I might just finally wove you.”

I scoffed, and as I was about to tell him off, he grabbed my tote bag and pulled me after himself, headed for the entrance of the café, “Did you have to wait long for me? Traffic was busier today, I had to take a few detours to get here in time.”

“Don’t worry,” I smiled as he opened the door for me and let me walk inside first, “I only waited half an hour for you to arrive, runway princess.”

“Runway princess?!” Mingi’s eyes bulged for a second before he started laughing loudly, making a few customers glance our way as we made it inside the café. I elbowed him in the stomach gently, not too keen of having people glare at us as he disturbed their peace.

“Don’t like the nickname?” I asked with a raised brow as we neared the front desk. The cashier had a friendly smile on her face while she greeted us as Mingi and I looked up at the menu, trying to decide what we’d like to have.

“Never said that,” Mingi answered with a chuckle as he threw me a quick glance, “it’s just surprising coming from you.”

“Why, can’t I call you a princess?” I chuckled, turning to face the cashier as I have made up my mind about what I’d like to have.

“Up until now you seemed to prefer the term ‘bro’, but I’m fine with whatever you decide on calling me, doll.” The look the cashier gave us made my cheeks flame up and I cleared my throat loudly, shooting Mingi a look that told him to shut up.

“Sorry about that,” I muttered embarrassed, smiling at the cashier, “can I get a strawberry cheesecake?”

“Sure, right away, and you, sir?” Her attention was on Mingi now, cheeks flushing the longer she looked at him. Okay, I could totally understand why. Mingi looked quite good right now, it was hard not to ogle him.

“A mint-chocolate cheesecake and a cappuccino?” Mingi hummed, eyebrows furrowed in thought as he looked down at the cashier.

“Plain cappuccino or with vanilla?” The cashier typed in our orders as she asked Mingi, averting her eyes shyly once he looked at her, pursing his lips.

“Plain,” He decided at last, turning to look at me, “are you not getting anything to drink?”

“An orange fresh will be alright.” I said as I reached inside my bag to fish around for my wallet.

“And would you also like to paint some pottery?” The cashier asked, pointing behind herself at all the displayed options. Mingi and I shared a look and I smiled as I nodded at him, making him grin from ear to ear.

“Yeah, we’ll paint some pottery too. Can I have a cup?” He asked, pointing at one on the higher shelf. It was a smaller cup, specifically made for drinking coffee. The cashier nodded and then looked at me expectantly.

“Uh, a mug will do for me.” I said and thanked her once she handed us the pottery and the paint that was used for painting these. Then, she tapped a few more on her tablet and told us the total. I opened my wallet to pay for my purchase, but Mingi had a card in his hands, the cashier already typing in the total sum for him to pay.

“Mingi,” I hissed quietly, looking at him with a frown, “what are you doing?”

“It was my idea to come here—”

“No, it wasn’t.” I cut him off, fingers curling into the scratchy fabric of his coat as I reached out to hold it, “I suggested we come here instead of going to your studio.”

Mingi sighed and pocketed his card, already having paid, then turned his body to face mine. I didn’t let go of his coat just yet, “Yeah, but when I drove you home during that downpour I asked you if you’d come here with me. So technically, it was my idea. Initially, anyways, it really was.”

“Mingi—” I started, but soon swallowed my words as he stepped closer, invading my personal space. My fingers tightened more into his coat and I gulped, suddenly feeling nervous due to our proximity. He faintly smelled of vanilla, it was a fragrance I didn’t except to smell on him.

“Can you not fight me on this one, please?” Mingi’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and his eyes softened up and I—struggled to breathe for a second as I stared up in his pleading eyes, mouth going dry. He looked—adorable like this, and I did not like the way I felt myself getting lost in his soft gaze.

“Let’s find a table.” I muttered, forcing myself out of the trance he placed on me, and grabbed my mug and the painting supplies. Mingi followed suit as he took his own cup and followed after me closely. We walked further inside the café and found a smaller table in the next room, closer towards the window. The walls were painted a faint orange and were decorated by white stripes that created abstract shapes. The chandeliers were white and hung low, the place well-lit for those who wished to paint pottery.

I placed the things in my hands on the table carefully, and then discarded my coat on the back of my chair and my tote bag by the leg of the table, pulling my chair out for myself. Mingi followed suit, however, he managed to almost send his cup tumbling to the floor when he took his seat. His eyes were wide as he just barely caught the cup, and I giggled as I watched him while opening the box that held all the paint. Thankfully, the table was spacious enough to harbor both our pottery and paints as the cashier brought out our delicacies. She threw Mingi a lasting look before she hurried back to the front desk, glancing our way at times.

“This is going to be a tough one.” Mingi said before scooping up a bit of his cheesecake with his little spoon.

“Why?” I asked with a chuckle, choosing a thin brush to start painting some flowers on my mug. My cheesecake could wait.

“Because I’m literally sat at a table with an arts major, having to decorate some cup by painting.” Mingi sounded stressed and I chuckled as I looked up at him, amused by his expression. His hair fell in his eyes a bit, and I found myself absentmindedly reaching over the table to brush it to the side. Almost as if realizing at the same time what I had done, we both froze. It felt like time stilled around us as I watched Mingi with a gaping mouth, slowly but surely, my cheeks becoming the color of a fire hydrant. But Mingi wasn’t better off as he bit his bottom lip, averting his eyes shyly as his cheeks turned the faint color of pink. Clearing my throat and accidentally choking as I hastily pulled my hand back, I averted my eyes and fought for my life to not choke. Thank God the orange juice was right there, I quickly took three large gulps.

“Th—thanks.” Mingi stuttered, staring at the table as he licked his lips, “Uh, it’s gotten long, my hair, I mean, I have to cut it when I get the time.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, grabbing my mug and chewing on my bottom lip in embarrassment—God, could the Earth swallow me up right now? Why the hell did I do that?! “Yeah.”

“Do you think I should change it up a little?” I paused as I had dipped my brush in red paint, and slowly looked up at Mingi, “Do something fun with it—like going blonde?”

“I hate blonde hair.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Nice one, idiot. Yunho was blonde while we were together, and thus, yeah, I’ve hated blondes ever since. And to be fair—and this is not me shitting on my ex—but that hair color did not suit Yunho at all.

“Oh, noted.” Mingi whispered, pouting a little. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, hating myself for the weird atmosphere I have created.

“Mingi, you can do whatever you want with your hair.” I spoke up, leaning down to try and look him in the eyes as he was busy staring at the table, “My opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your hair. Go crazy with it, have fun, try out something new. Really.”

“But do you think it would suit me?” Mingi was still pouting as he finally looked up at me, looking quite crestfallen. My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to imagine him with blonde hair. He was quite blessed with his skin complex as most colors looked good on him, but perhaps I preferred Mingi with dark hair—black hair, more specifically. Like he had it right now. He looked—good. Handsome, even. Completely gorgeous. Fuck.

“I think it would suit you.” I settled on saying that. He didn’t have to know my train of thought, like at all. Mingi hummed in appreciation, and I watched as he reached inside his tote bag, pulling out a case that held his glasses. He took it out of the case and put it on, pushing it up on the bridge of his nose. He grinned when he looked at me and I chuckled, shaking my head as I looked down at my mug, finally starting to decorate it.

“There goes the cool, mysterious, hot celebrity act.” I teased under my breath, not expecting Mingi to hear me. But he did, and he started laughing, giving me a cheeky grin.

“Not quite a celebrity yet, but at least you admit I am hot.” Of course he was smirking as I gave him a deadpanned look, about to argue him on his statement, but he didn’t let me as he continued talking, “By the way, let’s exchange our cups when we are done. The mug will be mine and the cup will be yours.”

I tried to fight the smile off my lips, “So that you get the artwork of a talented artist for free to sell for an outrageous price later on when I’m famous?”

“I fear you have misjudged my character, doll.” Mingi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but there was truth to his words. I might just have misjudged his character.

“I still think you’re arrogant and selfish.”

“Of course you do, didn’t except anything less from you.” Mingi winked and then looked down, his cheesecake forgotten as he started decorating his cup, tongue just barely sticking out as he concentrated hard on whatever he had in mind to paint onto the cup. I chuckled and shook my head before focusing on my own mug, the silence that’s settle around us comfortable, as always.

            Mingi and I were the quietest table in the café as we worked in silence diligently in, painting our own pottery. Mingi, at times, would hum along quietly to the songs that were played on the radio. Despite his cup being smaller and easier to paint, I finished painting mine before him, and so, I took the time to savor my cheesecake even if it had gotten warm and a little too soft. Mingi was hunched over in his seat, glasses low on the bridge of his long nose, with his full lips either pursed or with the bottom one bitten as his eyebrows would furrow every time he almost made a mistake. It was a funny sight, and I grabbed my phone without thinking much, and snapped a few pictures of him, leaning lower and even closer to his face to get the funny angles, all while Mingi remained oblivious to it. I chuckled as I looked at the pictures I had taken of him, looking at him when I felt eyes on me.

“What’s so funny?” He asked curiously, eyeing my phone for a second.

“You.” I chuckled and stuck my tongue out as Mingi rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair as he heaved a long sigh.

“I’m finally done.” He grinned and I looked down at his cup, taking in the yellow chicks he had painted quite—clumsily. Well, not all of us had the skills of a painter—not that it was an issue or anything—it’s just that it’s been long since I had seen someone have the skills of a—kindergartner, “It’s pretty sick, huh?”

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling and nodded with my eyebrows furrowed, “I’d give it a seventy out of a hundred mark.”

“Hey! That’s too low!” Mingi said, looking offended. I chuckled before shrugging.

“You’ll have to work on your skills for a higher mark.”

“Fine, next time you come to the studio, I’ll make you sing.” Mingi raised his eyebrows, making me narrow my eyes at him playfully.

“Oh, I didn’t know we are in a competition.”

“We weren’t, until now.” He winked and then stood, grabbing my mug and his own cup carefully as he took it to the front desk for drying. I gathered the items we had used to paint the pottery with to place them back in the box, and couldn’t help it but sneak a glance at Mingi. He was leaned up against the front counter, grinning widely at the cashier as she spoke to him, using her hands for big gestures as she was probably explaining something. My eyes narrowed as Mingi leaned slightly closer to her, only to detach himself from the front desk and walk back towards our table. I looked away and busied myself with my glass of orange juice.

“So, we’ll get them delivered to our houses once they are dry and all.” He said with a smile, sitting down, “I hope you don’t mind I gave her your address too.”

“I don’t.” I muttered, chewing on the straw for a second, “I didn’t think you’d know my address.”

“Well,” Mingi flattened his hands on the surface of the table, “I’ve been to your house twice now. I think it’s only right I remember your address, doll.”

“Right,” I muttered, “you’ve been to my house.”

Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and I figured he didn’t like the tone of my voice. But before I could correct myself and explain that I had nothing against that, he spoke up, “Y/N, I—I didn’t mean to scare you or—I don’t know—make you think that I want anything from you. I mean—we are friends, and I respect you as a woman and as a friend, and I know we almost—kissed. But I—I don’t want you to think that I’m playing some sort of game with you to get—to get in your pants. I’m your friend. And even if I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t do that to you.”

Hearing him say all that felt wrong. I didn’t deserve any explanation from him. I was the one that’s overreacted that day, and Mingi was the one that deserved an explanation and apology from me for the way I have acted. I knew I couldn’t completely open up to him right now, that some parts of the truth had to be omitted today, but he also deserved to know why I had pulled back. And I wanted him to understand that it wasn’t his fault for the way I reacted to everything.

“Mingi,” I offered him a small smile and gripped my empty glass for some support, “If you think you are the reason why I ignored you, please, stop thinking that. It’s—we both leaned in, okay? We were both about to kiss each other, it’s not like you initiated it or forced me to do something I didn’t want to. And nothing even happened, for God’s sake. I reacted that way because I—”

When I paused, Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and he leaned over the table, gently poking my hand with his ring clad fore-finger, “You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not comfortable sharing it, Y/N.”

“But I want you to know this, Mingi.” I averted my eyes and took a deep breath, embracing myself for what I was about to tell him, “I had a boyfriend back in high-school who completely broke my heart, shattered it into pieces. And I know that happened a long time ago, and yes, I am over him, but I—I am scared people will treat me like he had treated me. I’m scared that if I let you close, you’ll just—leave. Like he did. And I know ignoring you for days was very shitty of me and I shouldn’t have done that—because quite frankly, Mingi, you deserve better—I just didn’t know what to do. I needed a few days to myself, to figure things out. It’s a bad excuse, but it’s the truth, and I think you deserve to know it. Since we are friends.”

Mingi’s face conveyed no emotion for a few seconds and I gulped, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Did he figure it out now? That I was talking about Yunho? That maybe I have started feeling something for him too, for Mingi? Would he stand up and leave? But to my surprise, a wide smile stretched onto his lips and he hummed, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

“Thank you for trusting me, it means a lot that you told me all that.” I bit my bottom lip, looking down at the table abashedly, “And I was never mad at you for ignoring me. I completely understand you, Y/N, and for the record, I have zero intentions of leaving you. And your ex is a fucking asshole for breaking your heart like that, tell me who he is and I’ll beat him up when I cross paths with him.”

There was nothing funny about what Mingi had said, especially since he was talking about his best friend, but the comically tough look on his face made me snort loudly as I shielded my mouth with my hand, trying to stop myself from laughing too loudly. Mingi started grinning like an idiot, his giggles deep, and making something coil in my stomach. When has Song Mingi become adorable instead of annoying?

“I doubt you’d want to kick his ass once you find out who he is…” I grimaced once that was out of my mouth, regretting it instantly. What was it about today that I couldn’t keep my thoughts and mouth in check? It was turning really frustrating.

“So, you plan on telling me one day?” Mingi wriggled his eyebrows, making me snort, “Like real besties gossiping and shit.”

“You never fail to make me cringe when you call us besties, Mingi.” I shook my head, taking a glance at my wrist watch. Oh, the time had flown away, it was well past five now, and the sun was going down. I’d probably have to head home soon to have dinner with my mother. I was becoming hungry too.

“Well, that’s what we are so…” He cleared his throat before slowly standing up, making me look up at him, “Did you know today we’re celebrating the Festival of Light?”

“Nope, I had no idea.” I shook my head, standing up too as Mingi wore his coat, “I don’t follow the events our city organizes.”

“Pity, it’s really pretty.” Mingi pouted, waiting for me as I grabbed my tote bag and pocketed my phone, “Should we check it out?”

“I mean…maybe?” I shrugged and Mingi beckoned me over as he crossed his arm with mine, making me chuckle as I looked up at him. He wasn’t much taller than me, but his sneakers had a thick sole and they made him even taller, “Where is this festival held at?”

“Just down the street, at the Citadel.” Mingi smiled as he led the way out of the café, waving at the barista as she blushed again, making me chuckle as I subconsciously nuzzled up against Mingi’s side, the air chilly as the sun had set by now.

“That barista totally has a crush on you.” I found myself saying as we walked down the sidewalk, trying to avoid crashing into the people that came towards us. Yeah, there certainly was an event on-going in the city, otherwise you wouldn’t see so many people out and about around this time. Everyone preferred staying inside after the sun had set, not keen of the cold nights.

“You think so?” Mingi mused, bottom lip jutting out as he narrowly avoided a child that was running around, “I didn’t notice.”

“You must be really dense then.” I snorted, eyebrows furrowing as I looked up at him, “She was constantly blushing, and she was totally looking at you with hearts in her eyes.”

“How do you know when someone is looking at you with heart eyes?” Mingi’s question threw me off, and I detached myself from his side, clearing my throat as I looked ahead, pushing my hands in my pockets. He was warm, it made me realize as the cold bit at my skin now that I wasn’t nuzzled up by his side anymore.

“Well, they have this look in their eyes, you know? It’s warm, and soft, and it lasts.” I explained, feelings my cheeks heat up, “And their eyes always linger on you when you aren’t watching them. It’s like…puppy eyes, I suppose? I wouldn’t actually know, Mingi, nobody’s ever looked at me like that.”

When there was no response, I looked back to find Mingi looking at me intensely. My eyebrows furrowed as we have arrived to the Citadel, the gates open for the visitors of the festival. The place was packed, this wouldn’t be so fun anymore. I would’ve turned around and walked back home if I didn’t see how excited Mingi was when I agreed to come check it out.

“There’s lots of people here.” Mingi muttered, and then walked closer to me as I led the way inside, a little baffled by his reaction to my answer. I just merely gave an answer based on my beliefs. It was him that was acting weird now. But as I looked at him, I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore, that he wanted us to drop the subject. His last comment was a way to veer the conversation in a different direction. What was it about us today making everything weird? I sighed and just walked further inside, trying to avoid the big crowd which seemed almost impossible as it stretched on and on. The Citadel, however, was beautiful as it was coated in darkness, only the little paper lamps and fairy lights illuminating the place. It had a certain aura to it, almost romantic, and I soon found myself smiling as we walked down the cobblestone path, still trying to avoid people and stick close to each other’s sides. The air was chilly but the walls of the Citadel did a great job at keeping the breeze out, and the crowd certainly kept the place warmer than it was outside the stone walls.

I found myself admiring the décor in wonder, my mouth hanging open as I took in all the little lamps placed down on the ground, following the cobblestone paths, illuminating our way. It was truly beautiful, it almost felt like the scene was taken out of a fairytale. I found myself filled with excitement and happiness as I turned to grin at Mingi.

“This is so beautiful!” I giggled, absentmindedly grabbing the sleeve of his coat and dragging him away from the path and into the dying grass as there was a panel covered with paper, and people were writing on it. Mingi remained silent, but as I searched around for a pen or pencil, I felt him watching me, “What, do you not want to write something?”

“If you manage to find a marker or pen, I will, sure.” He said with a shrug, adjusting the strap of his tote bag before he pushed his hands deep in his pockets. I chuckled and looked around for a marker, but it was hard to see it in the darkness whether they were laying around in the grass or not. To my surprise, a little girl standing next to me looked up at me with a small smile on her lips, and offered me her purple-coloured marker, saying she was done with her drawing. I thanked her with a chuckle and turned to face Mingi with a grin.

“I found one!” Mingi chuckled and took the marker from my hands, being able to reach high up where the paper was still empty, due to his height. The panel was illuminated from the inside so you could actually see what was written on the paper. I watched him as he wrote on the paper, hesitating for a second, before he stepped back and handed me the marker. I raised up on my tip toes curiously, and craned my neck to see what he’s written. ‘The moon is beautiful tonight.’

I felt a smile spread onto my lips as I looked back at Mingi, who’s expression was serious and almost sad-looking as he adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his tall nose. I craned my neck back once more to gaze at the dark sky, at the moon, and indeed, there she was, beautiful and shining brightly. It was a new moon. Taking a swift glance at Mingi, I raised back on my tip toes and stood close to the panel, reaching up, just underneath Mingi’s writing. Thankfully, I could reach just bellow it, and I grinned as I quickly drew a new moon, adding a little shading to it and dents as well, creating the illusion of a real moon. Mingi remained silent as I took a step back, admiring our work. I handed the marker to another child as I fished my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture quickly of our artwork.

“The moon turned out beautifully.” Mingi commented once we had stepped away from the panel to let others draw too, headed back onto the cobblestone path.

“Still, it’s not as beautiful as the real one, but I tried my best.” I chuckled as I crossed my arms in front of my chest for a second, avoiding a man as he wasn’t looking in front of himself as he raced down the path. Mingi threw him a displeased look before looking down at me.

“Your drawings and paintings are always beautiful, Y/N.” Mingi said and I found myself blushing, thankful that it was so dark he wouldn’t be able to see it. I uncrossed my arms and turned my body a little to face him. There was music coming from one path, the one which led to the southern part of the Citadel.

“Are you nervous about Friday?” I found myself asking him as Mingi veered us towards where the music was coming from. He looked at me for a second, and then shook his head.

“I’m rarely nervous when we have to perform.” He said nonchalantly, the back of his hand brushing lightly against mine. My heart did a somersault against my ribcage, but I ignored it.

“Oh, you’re such a cool guy.” I teased him with narrowed eyes, making Mingi chuckle.

“I rarely get nervous, to be honest, even less when it comes to performing.” He hummed, looking up at the dark sky for a second, “I trust myself and my bandmates that everything will go well, so, there’s no actual reason to feel nervous.”

“But I’ll be there on Friday, that still doesn’t make you feel nervous?” My question was meant to be teasing, part of our playful banter, but the way Mingi gulped and quickly averted his eyes told me that perhaps I hit the nail spot-on. Well, now I have turned things awkward again. I sighed loudly, chewing on my bottom lip as Mingi remained silent, the two of us walking down the narrow path as the music became louder as we were nearing the stage. Jazz music was playing, the lady who was singing had a powerful and smooth voice that carried over the crowd neatly. There were a few people dancing in the crowd.

“Perhaps having you there will make me nervous.” Mingi’s voice was barely above a whisper and I tensed when I felt his pinkie brush against my own, making me clench my hand into a fist. But a very quiet voice inside my head demanded me to accept Mingi’s subtle request, and willing my heart to stop hammering so hard in my chest, I relaxed my hand and slowly slipped it into Mingi’s. If he stopped walking for a milli-second, I didn’t say anything about it, and he also ignored it. His grip turned firm as he intertwined our fingers together, gently pulling me closer into his side as he smiled at a mother who apologised for his son almost running into us.

I gulped and kept my eyes ahead of me, too nervous to look at Mingi. Holding his hand like this meant nothing in particular, but it was a nice feeling. It made my cheeks warms and heart race. And I didn’t have to look at Mingi to know he was smiling like crazy, his cheeks just as red as mine as we came to a stop behind the dancing people.

Have I started falling for Song Mingi?

『It's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm just saying it's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

You, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

You're what I've been chasing

Show me where my days went』

❱❱ Next chapter

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❀ complete the forms if you're interested! ^^

so...the festival of light scene was totally inspired by me and my bestie attending it in our city lol; it was sooo beautiful and the pictures in the moodboard were actually taken by us; also, her and I kept laughing about the romantic vibes we were getting, all in all, we had a nice time...and OFC we make everything about Ateez so :))

I wrote that LOL I'm like Mingi, tall enough to reach the top where people haven't scribbled onto yet lol

also, this is what y/n's outfit looks like for anyone wondering, except for the colors as they are the way I have described them in the scene ^^

#bvidzsoo #cromernet #song mingi #mingi #mingi ateez #mingi oneshot #song mingi oneshot #mingi x reader #song mingi x reader #ateez mingi #mingi smut #song mingi smut #mingi angst #song mingi angst #mingi fluff #song mingi fluff #song mingi ateez #song mingi fanfic #mingi fanfic #ateez series #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez x reader #mingi scenarios #song mingi scenarios #mingi imagines #song mingi imagine #ateez fanfic #ateez scenarios

[imagine-knowing-a-name]

i was once like you are now

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Word Count: 815 Pairing: Natasha Romanoff & Reader Warnings: Angst, injuries A/N: idk, this could be utter trash but I just wanted to write and post something again. Even if it's this short fic written in one go at 1am and then never reread, so read at your own risk lol.

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For so many years, it had just been you and Natasha. Sure, you both had other groups and other friends and lives of your own, but when it came down to it, it would always be just you and her. It was you and her who met on the first day of SHIELD academy, you and her who partnered for every training exercise and sparred together out of hours, and it was you and her who graduated together, taking your roles as official SHIELD agents, together. 

After leaving the dorms of the academy, the two of you moved in together -- a matter of convenience since you shared the same office. You accompanied each other on missions, becoming a formidable pair with your uncanny ability to work in sync as partners, often seeming to predict what the other would do before they'd even decided themselves. 

Truly, the only thing you didn't do together, was teaching. Natasha had one cohort, you had the other, and, with every class taught, the rivalry became more infamous throughout SHIELD. Scoreboards were set up, tallies were kept, and even graduated recruits maintained their allegiance to their academy teacher: one side or the other, as you and Natasha used your students to engage in friendly (but ruthless) competition with each other.

The history between the two of you was undeniable, and to just say that you 'had history' would be putting it too lightly. After all, that history had transcended your friendship and become engrained in the SHIELD values for the last few years' cohorts. It seemed infallible, unstoppable, everlasting.

You suppose that's why it hit so hard when it all came crashing down. And what a crash it was. 

A partnership so long, severed in the same amount of time it took for your spine to snap. 

Now here you were, in an empty apartment across the world from the newest Avenger. Clint will teach the new academy cohort; his group will rival Natasha's. She will continue with her life: a life of missions, secrecy, and public image, all simultaneously. She was picked for the Avengers, to protect the world, and you know that she'll do her job well, like she always does and always has.

You, meanwhile, will never walk again -- a phrase the medics said with such certainty that it left no room for hope -- you will never fight again, run again, spy again. You will never work for SHIELD again. 

The organisation provided for you, as 'a thank you for your service', but mostly because you were injured whilst working for them. They paid for your flight to New Zealand, for the house you now live in, and for the transport of your belongings from yours and Natasha's house to here.

You had to get away… as far from SHIELD, as far from the Avengers, as far from her as possible. Reasons for them to be here were few and far between, there would be no random drop-ins and check-ups unless the world was ending in the South Pacific Ocean. Finally, you could relax, drop the facade, and feel the emotions you'd refused to feel since it happened. 

You screamed, you cried, and you punched the wall hard enough to give yourself another injury -- one which hurt far less though than any of the others you currently nursed, physically or mentally.

Leaving SHIELD, getting injured... they'd never been in your plan, they weren't your choices, but the move was. Leaving Natasha was your choice. It had been your choice but that doesn't mean you can't miss her, because months later you still do. 

You miss the camaraderie, the inside jokes from shared experiences and shared life; the competition that was always more serious between the students than it ever was for you and Natasha, who at the end of the day anyways returned home together. You miss your life before, but you know you can never return. 

You don't miss the time after the injury; when you were told that full recovery wouldn't be possible and that your career was over. You don't miss when Natasha, who promised to take care of you, was suddenly forced into endless press to 'maintain a positive image' for the newly formed Avengers, lest she lose her job too. And, most of all, you don't miss the dreadful pit in your stomach from when you had asked Nat, your friend, the person you had spent years of your life doing everything with, about her day. She hadn't said anything, but the tears in her eyes had said enough. Because you weren't partner SHIELD agents anymore. She would still do it all, but you were now nothing more than a civilian. She didn't say anything because she couldn't. 

You used to do everything with her, now even the knowledge is classified. Knowing her is above your clearance, so you had to go away.

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General Taglist: @canvascoloredin @fxckmiup @wizardofstories

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #marvel #mcu #ikan writes #natasha romanoff & reader

[sturniolo04]

Surprise M.S.

Bf!Matt x Gf!Reader

Summary: In which Matt surprises you (his gf)

A/N: Please leave requests in my inbox; running out of writing ideas

A long-distance relationship is something you and Matt didn't have in mind but, of course, when Matt and his brother's YouTube career took off all too fast, it threw almost a 3,000-mile wedge in your guys' relationship.

See you and the Triplets were what you called childhood best friends. You guys were basically raised together. The constant sleepovers and family vacations you guys took with each other's families. To sum it up, Marylou and Jimmy were legitimately your second mom and dad.

So ultimately you were bound to fall for one of your childhood best friends. Everyone out of your Boston friends thought that hands down Chris was going to be the one for you. The universe, though, had other plans, because as you and the triplets got older together and matured together to a degree, you took more of a liking to Matt just because of his calm demeanor and just knowing that he ultimately became your safe space. So when Junior Year of high school arrived you both came to your senses and ended up confessing to each other and being together ever since.

This brings you to the present day, you sitting at home not having the best day. Everything didn't go right for you since early that morning, from having so much college work piling up to do to being late for work to the ultimate dealbreaker, the worst thing about all of this is all you want is a simple hug from your boyfriend who ironically is hours away from you.

"is something bothering you sweetie," your mom asks from across the island counter you had recently installed in your new house when you moved out. "huh, oh it's nothing it's stupid" you reply back setting your phone down on the marble countertop. It wasn't stupid and it definitely wasn't nothing, on top of all the shitty things happening today Matt hadn't texted you once which was not normal for him so you just assumed he was in a meeting or something but when it became hours passing by you became anxious and nervous that he forgot about you and let LA get to his head. "Okay then, do you want to go to the store to restock your groceries so you don't starve" your mom chuckles to herself as she opens your refrigerator. "Sure, I have to go to Sephora anyway" you sigh grabbing your phone and then grabbing your shoes.

Little did you know this was all normal. Marylou, Matt, and your mom had planned this a month in advance, they were flying Matt out to Boston as we speak just to spend the month with you and it just so happens that it was on the exact day you really needed him most but, once again your completely unaware of this because after all, it was an unknown surprise.

-time skip-

"I just need some more foundation then we can go back to my house if you want Mom" you stated simply trying not to let on that you were so upset about not hearing from Matt. "okay take your time" your mom replied back as you turned to look through the various foundations to find yours. "I think your dad and I might go to visit your grandmother in Iowa soon" your mom states randomly to keep you somewhat distracted as she begins recording subtly the aisle next to the end of where you were currently standing. "really that sounds fun, how is she doing anyway?" you trail off in your response to your mom, still fixated on finding the foundation you were needing, all while your boyfriend, now sneaking his way to the exact spot you and your mom were located. "found it, we can go check out now mom" you state as you turn around facing her. "what are you doing mom" you giggle at your mom failing to give a response as she is still actively recording, giving your boyfriend enough time to fully stand next to you without you sensing his presence. After standing there perplexed at your mom's unusual reaction, you begin to turn to leave her and go check out so you can go back home. "oh my god" you exclaimed, hugging yourself out of pure shock, finally seeing who was standing next to you the whole time. "hi baby" matt finally speaks, giggling at your cuteness. "oh my god" you reiterate again finally wrapping your arms around matt's neck as he shifts his grip from your waist to your thighs lifting you off of the ground as you wrap your legs around him. "mom did you know about this" you ask genuinely as matt sets you back on your feet. " baby both your mom and my mom planned it out" Matt interjects grabbing the sides of your face and kissing your forehead then proceeds to wrap his arms around your neck and bring you into him. "okay well I will leave you lovebirds to it, I will meet you guys at the car " you mom announces walking out of Sephora.

"talk to me pretty girl what has been happening" Matt finally speaks up as you look up at him from your tight embrace "I really needed you today i have been so stressed out and I thought you were forgetting about me when you didn't text me at all today" you ramble on. "hey i would never forget about you I've known you my whole life, I'm crazy about you" he replies simply brushing the hair out of your face that had fallen from your messy ponytail. "pinky promise" you huff out as matt pulls away from the hug you guys were sharing to link your guys pinkies. "pinky promise angel"

Taglist

@adirtylittleheart @mintsturniolo

#sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets x reader #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo

[annwrites]

dance with me.

— pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader

— type: ficlet

— summary: you & billy run into one another at the halloween party

— tags: dancing, billy pining

— tw: drinking

— word count: 2,390

— a/n: this is an outtake from my thoroughfare series. i know it prob doesn't make much sense for it to be, as this takes place at the end of october, & that series clearly takes place in the middle of summer, & i stated in it that billy had only been in hawkins 2 months before he & reader ran away. but we're going to pretend like it fits anyway lol.

if any of this is inaccurate to what happened during the ep which featured the halloween party, it's bc it's been a few yrs since i watched season 2.

pay attention for an easter egg (song they dance to)!

You have half-a-mind to turn back around and go back home. But in no way is being there preferable, either. You’d vowed to yourself that you were going to have a good time tonight. Well, at the very least a halfway-decent one. Even if you were completely out of your depth—your comfort zone. You’d never gone to a party before. Solitude was where you thrived. Around other people you just sort of…froze up. 

But, he’d been on a tear this last week. Had broken a couple of plates and a picture frame in a drunken fury just two nights ago. You needed a night away—just a few hours—a reprieve. Even if it was going to be surrounded by other drunks. At least these were fellow kids, if nothing else. And they wouldn’t be wanting to take things out on you if it turned out alcohol didn’t suit them. Unlike someone else.

You glance to Nancy at your side, then to the domicile ahead—thumping music blaring loud enough that you can hear it from the sidewalk—and silently follow along behind her as the two of you head inside. 

Once you’ve passed the threshold, she turns back to you. “I’m going to look for Steve! He should be here already!” She yells over the deafening rock music.

“Want me to help and look for him, too?”

She nods fervently, and the two of you split up.

You make your way through throngs of people—couples making out, friends joking with one another; a boy who’s already half-drunk nearly spilling his beer on you—before you spot a door leading into the backyard. 

Unless he’s outside…Nancy may very-well have to find him all on her own, because you were absolutely not going back in there just to be squished between sweaty, hormonal adolescent bodies again.

Perhaps this was a mistake.

That opinion only cements itself further when you step onto the back patio, shutting the door firmly behind you, and look straight ahead to see Billy Hargrove doing a keg-stand as a crowd of your peers stand around him chanting “chug, chug, chug, chug!”.  He stands back on two feet once again, puckering his lips, spitting beer into the air and you roll your eyes. Those surrounding him start cheering and patting him on the back.

Like getting drunk is something to celebrate. 

And of course he’s shirtless. Because a leather jacket and jeans is obviously a Halloween costume. 

Just as you begin to turn away, arms now crossed, wondering if you shouldn’t now go back inside, Billy stops licking his lips, and laughing, or so much as paying attention to the other obnoxious idiots surrounding him when he sets eyes on you. 

Why the hell were you wearing pajamas to a damn Halloween party? Was that really supposed to constitute being a costume? Then again, he shouldn’t be complaining. You’re not wearing bottoms. He suddenly decides he likes whoever the hell the character is.

He shoves past those around him—which even includes numerous girls with hearts in their eyes—and makes his way over to you instead. 

He grabs your arm lightly, turning you back to him as he stares down at you with a smirk. “Well, well, look who it is.” 

His eyes trail from your bare legs, back to your eyes, and you feel ready to squirm away from his grip. 

He cocks his head to the side then. “Who the hell are you dressed as, anyway?”

You pull your arm away from him. “Audrey Hepburn. Breakfast at Tiffany’s?”

He raises a brow. “Uh-huh.”

You shrug. “She was an actress. Before our time.”

He gives you a sultry look. “Well, whoever she was, she was clearly one hot chick.”

You blink up at him for a moment. 

“What? Not going to try and guess who I am?”

He watches as your eyes trail along his body and his jaw clenches at the sight of you taking him in. He hopes you like what you see. 

Until you gaze back up to him with an indifferent look on your face, the fire quickly extinguished.

“I feel like you just wanted an excuse to walk around shirtless.”

A corner of his mouth tugs down in a frown. “You’re one to talk.”

“I have a shirt on.”

He glances down to your legs, then back into your eyes with a raised brow. “Somebody specific you’re trying to catch the attention of tonight, sweetheart?”

He leans an arm against the side of the house. 

“Not really,” you reply looking behind him.

“C’mon, one guess. Maybe I’ll reward you if you get it right.”

You look back at him then, and he can’t believe he’s actually piqued your interest with that. 

“Do I get to choose the prize?”

He heart skips a beat. “Anything you want, darlin’.”

You study him again. “Let me guess… A greaser, from The Outsiders?”

He licks his lips. “But which one?”

It’s so incredibly obvious. At least to you. “Dallas?”

“Winner, winner,” he says, leaning the least bit toward you. “So, what’s that pretty lil’ heart desire?”

“Stop pulling my hair in class.”

He snorts. “That’s likely.”

You roll your eyes. Waste of time, clearly.

“He was damn good in that movie, wasn’t he?” He just throws it out there to keep you a bit longer.

“Hm?” You ask, looking behind him again. 

“Matt Dillon.”

You look back at him and he could swear you blush a little. On the one hand, maybe he should feel flattered since he’d dressed as his character. On the other, it’s clearly the actor that you have the hots for. Not him. No, never fucking him. Why does he try so goddamn hard with you?

“The book was better. But Matt certainly made the movie worth watching,” you say with a smile.

He frowns. “What? No love for my man, Ponyboy?” The blond, he wants to say, but doesn’t.

You glance behind him again. 

“If you’re lookin’ for fun, I’m right here, honey,” he says, smirking.

“I’m looking for Steve, actually.”

His smile drops instantly, arms crossing. “The hell do you want with him?”

You glance back to Billy for just a moment. “Stay golden, Billy,” you stay, going to step past him, until he grabs your wrist.

You look down to where he’s now touching you. Gently, but firmly, then back up to him. “Let go.”

He sneers. “The fuck is it with you, huh? I mean, what is it with him? What does he have that-” He stops himself short and watches as your brows furrow.

Too much. He’d drank too much.

“You realize he’ll never go for you, right? Too stuck up Nancy’s bony-ass instead.”

Did…did he think you liked Steve? Oh God…did Nancy ever think that as well? “I’m trying to help Nancy find him.”

He softens a little, thumb rubbing against your wrist. “I say we leave her to it, then.” 

His smirk returns and you mentally groan at whatever is about to come out of his smart mouth. 

“How about you and I take off and go make our own party?”

You roll your eyes, wrenching your wrist away. “I’d really rather not.”

He watches as you walk away, enjoying the view. 

It’s perhaps an hour later before Billy finally bothers coming inside, looking for a cold bottle of beer in the fridge, and it’s after he’s found one that he enters the living room and catches sight of you sitting on the couch, staring up at Nancy and Steve wrapped around each other, talking. 

His jaw clenches at the longing look in your eyes. Like Steve is something fucking special to be had. 

He has no idea it’s just you thinking of how lonely you feel in comparison; wishing you had someone of your very own to love.

He glances down to your hands, a red solo cup held between them, then back to you. Getting drunk to soothe your aching fucking heart, huh?

He takes a swig of his beer, thinking that it makes two of you.

He pushes past others to get to you, before plopping down beside you on the couch. And you don’t even bother looking at him. 

Meanwhile, at least three other girls are eyeing him up from across the room. He doesn’t so much as wink at them before turning back to you.

He grabs the cup from your hands, which finally gets your attention. 

“Hey!”

He takes a drink, then holds it away from him with a confused expression before shoving it back against your chest. “Water? Really? You come to a party and get yourself a cup of water, you’re that big of a fucking square?”

You roll your eyes, taking a sip. 

He swirls the neck of his beer bottle in front of your face. “C’mon, try some, sweetheart. Might like it.”

“No, thanks,” you say, looking back to your friends.

He pushes his luck further. “Never know how good somethin’ can taste until you’ve put it in your mouth.”

You groan in frustration, standing, heading back outside then, just wanting him to leave you alone.

He of course follows you out, watching as you seat yourself at a table on the back patio, resting your chin against your fist, watching others dance.

He considers for a moment, taking another drink, then setting the bottle on the table, holding his hand toward you. “Dance with me.”

Your head jerks up and in his direction then. “What?”

He shrugs. “One-time offer, sweetie.”

You glance down to his hand, then back up to him. 

He grows serious then. “Just dance with me. Please.”

This side of him you don’t get to see often. And you think the same thing now about it as you usually do when he shows it to you: you feel like, somehow, you’re the only one he gives it to. You’re unsure why, exactly. But you don’t dare ask.

Instead, you slide your palm into his—you could swear his hand is shaking a little—and he leads you into the middle of the yard. 

Just as he positions the two of you in the middle of it, the song changes. Bob Dylan humming the beginning of the tune. 

Billy rolls his eyes, staring upward. “Of course it changed to a fucking slow song.”

…And you know the moment is over.

You go to step away, until he twines his fingers between yours, pulling you back to him. “I didn’t say to leave.”

You’re not sure why you’re even giving him the time of day, but granting him moments like these, you feel, are important. He’s trying. To be decent. And if you shut it down—these moments are already rare enough as it is—he’ll one day stop trying altogether. You hope this can be a step toward him being just a bit more mature going forward. To you, if no one else.

You go to wrap your arms around his neck until he shakes his head. “None of that junior-high shit. You’re dancing with a man, not a boy.”

You stare up at him at the statement. 

He positions your right hand atop his shoulder, taking your other in his left, placing his right against the small of your back. “Need to be a bit closer, doll,” he says, pulling you toward him, making you now chest-to-chest.

You ignore your heart beating just a bit faster now.

He begins to sway back and forth, staring down at you. The look in his eyes that of…tenderness? No. He’s just tired, or he’s drank too much. He’s not looking at you any kind of way. Is he?

He then presses his forehead to yours. “You look really pretty tonight. I don’t think I told you that.”

His eyes flutter closed. 

You’re quiet for a moment. Then, “Thank you,” you reply quietly. You return the compliment. “You look very handsome.”

His lip twitches. “Me or Dillon?”

You shake your head lightly. “You, Billy.”

He hums his response, fingers at the small of your back curling inward, bringing you impossibly closer to him. 

He pulls back the least bit, resting his cheek atop your head, closing his eyes again with you tucked under his chin, your head against his chest. He could stay like this for… He can’t think like that. It’s just one short dance. That’s all. It means nothing.

Until he looks down at you again. 

And you look up at him with wide eyes.

His heart pounds, his hand shaking in yours as he begins to lean down. If you let him… This could be the start of something. Even if he knows he’ll do anything he can to destroy it. Because that’s what he does. To anything good he touches.

Your breaths come in short and shallow, your lips only slightly parted, your heart fluttering… And then you hear someone calling your name.

And the moment is over.

Billy stares behind you, expression morphing into seething hatred. “Always fucking ruining everything,” you hear him mutter.

Your brows furrow. “What?”

He lets go of you then, stepping past you. 

“Y/N, hey, it’s time to go. Nancy’s ready to head home, so I thought I’d give you a ride, too.”

Steve then catches sight of Billy, who’s heading straight toward him and does not look happy. 

“What the fuck is it with you? Always in the goddamn way. I’ve fuckin’ had it! If she wants a ride home, I’ll give her one. She doesn’t need her white fuckin’ knight right now.” 

Just as Billy raises his fist, Steve unable to do anything more than brace for impact, you quickly throw yourself between the two of them before he swings.

You stare up at him, arms outstretched on either side of you, trying to shield Steve, knowing—rather, hoping—Billy won’t do anything so long as you—or, at the very least, a girl—is in the way. 

Billy stares down at you, teeth clenched, fist hovering next to his head, then glances back to Steve. 

“Billy, don’t,” you say softly.

He squeezes his fist more tightly. 

“What’s wrong with you?” You ask, a mere whisper.

His face falls, then, as well as his fist. He swallows thickly. His eyes search yours, looking for the girl he’d had in his arms just moments ago, but sees she’s taken another’s side now.

“Fuck you,” he says before stomping away.

#fic: stranger things (billy hargrove x reader) #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x you #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x you #stranger things x reader

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

You're the Only Girl for Me - Chapter 23

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

❤ Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

All OC Characters belong to me

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

August 22nd 2021 ~ 3 am

Airielle couldn’t sleep. Everytime she closed her eyes, all she could see was Christopher and the rage in his eyes as he spat out Josh’s name to her. He obviously knew where she was at because of the PLE, but how did he know what hotel she was staying at? And how did he get her room number? She felt hopeless and she hated feeling like that.  She jumped as Josh shifted next to her. 

“You okay?” He asked her, his voice with sleep as he cracked open an eye to look at her. After she had calmed down and all her tears had subsided, he still wouldn’t let her out of his sight. He would never admit it out loud, but hearing her screaming, crying out for help while she was in the room with Christopher scared him to death. He never ever wanted to hear her scream like that ever again. 

“Yeah, I'm okay. Just can’t sleep.”  she whispered back, drawing her knees up to her chest. 

He’s in jail now Airielle, everything is ok” Josh tried to soothe her but she shook her head, knowing that was not the case. 

“He’s not in jail. He’s in a holding cell somewhere downtown waiting to be let out once the sun is up. His dad leaves him there overnight so it’s not too suspicious or anything.” 

“This isn’t the first time he’s been arrested for this?” Airielle shook her head, keeping her eyes on the blanket.  “I thought it only happened two times.” 

“No, we met in 2009 and didn’t break up until two years ago., so..” She trailed off with a shrug. “You do the math.” 

“Airi-” 

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Can we talk about anything else.” She cut him off, finally looking up and meeting his eyes and not liking the look of pity on his face. “Please.” 

Josh sighed but nodded anyway. “Fine. did you really not get me anything for my birthday?” For the first time in hours Airielle cracked a smile. 

“Seriously?” She giggled. 

“Deadass.” He smiled back at her. And just like that, It felt like she was transports to five months ago before she ruined their relationship. Sitting in bed talking with Josh felt normal, it felt good.  

She rolled her eyes. “Yes. I got you a present, but I gave it to Trin and Jon.”  She let out a loud laugh at the way his eyes widened as he sat up in the bed. 

“You did what?! Damn Airi, that’s cold as hell.” 

“Well, you pissed me off.” She shrugged with a teasing smile on her lips. 

He scoffed and playfully rolled his eyes at her. “What was it?”  When she opened her mouth to answer he quickly interjected her. “Nah, never mind, don’t tell me.” 

“Okay, that's fine.” She said, covering her mouth as she let out a yawn. Laying down in the bed and covering her body with the blanket. “It was a trip to Turks & Caicos. Me and Trin planned it for the four of us.” She laughed again when he just gaped at her before reaching over to the night stand to grab his phone, a playful glare on his face as he put the call on speaker.

“Uce, everything ight? Is it Airielle?”  

“I’m fine Jon.” she said as she smiled softly at his concern for her. 

“Yeah she good, but I'm not.” Jon snorted,  “Give me our damn tickets.” 

Trinity laughed, causing Airielle to laugh again.  “The flight leaves in 2 hours, we’re already at the airport.” Josh hung up the phone and jumped out of the bed to start gathering his things and hers, thankfully she had started packing his stuff since she couldn’t sleep. 

“What are you doing?” Airielle asked, still giggling. 

“Call the damn Uber Airielle. We’re going on this trip.”  

Turks & Caicos

august 22nd 2021

AirielleJones

liked by: trinity_fatu, uceyjucey and 194,000 others

AirielleJones: 🤎🧸

edit: 📸 : @ UCEYJUCEY

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uceyjucey: cred?

↪AirielleJones: omg jahir needs to stop teaching you stuff ↪ user: are y'all back together? 🤞🏽 loveyara: @ user no they are not.

loveyara: ?

yasmine_jones : #1 umm, hello i like trips and #2 ole girl mad af in ur comments 😭

UCEYJUCEY added to their story

loveyara: replied to your story: this better be a old pic.

loveyara: replied to your story: who is that? i swear if this is Airielle i'm done with you!

loveyara: replied to your story: why is her feet on you?!

TRINITY_FATU added to their story!

Airielle let out a deep sigh and sunk further into the lounge chair. This was exactly what she needed. To be on the sandy beach 6 hours away for all of her problems. Well, not all of them. One of her problems was making his way back over to her with both of their drinks with a big ass smile on his face. 

It was like Josh completely forgot that they actually had beef. He was treating her as if she was his girlfriend and last time she checked, she wasn’t! 

“Here you go babygirl.” He winked and set her Rum Punch down on the tray at the end of her lounger. Airielle pushed her glasses to the top of her head and cut her eyes at him. “What?” 

“I’m not your babygirl.”

“You definitely my babygirl. That aint never gon change.”  

“Hmm.” She hummed as grabbed the sun screen, putting some on her legs. “What about Yara, what is she? What do you call her?” She finished, arching her eyebrow at him when he straddled the chair facing her and pushed her hands away from her legs. “Josh.” She whispered, watching as he massaged the lotion into her skin, his hands trailing higher and higher up her thighs. 

“I don’t call her anything.” He stated looking her directly in her eyes. “It was a mistake that I wish I could take back, Airielle. I do a lot of dumb shit when I’m hurt.” 

“Josh I didn’t mean -” 

“I know you didn’t mean to do it.” He cut her off. “You told me why you wanted to break up and I understood. You wanted to let go of the shit he did to you, but how does that shift into you going on two dates with Ray and kissing him Rih? That shit hurt Rih. I felt played and betrayed like I’ve never felt before.” 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, scooting down the lounger, so now her thighs were rating over his. “I thought I was doing the right thing by breaking up with you. I was trying to protect myself. I- then I heard Yara and Thea talking about you and then I actually seen you and her walk into catering that day and I just figured you had moved on, so I thought I should too.” She said, still whisperering so nobody else around them could hear what they were saying. “I never meant to hurt you Joshua.” 

“There is no moving on from you Airi. I never felt like this with anyone else before.” 

“Not even Traci?” 

“Not like this.” He confirmed, cupping her jaw. “I’m in love with you Airielle.” He whispered as their lips touched. 

Josh groaned into Airielle’s mouth, bending his knees a little to grab the back of her thighs, lifting her and hooking them around his waist, as he walked them through the threshold of the villa. He gently laid her down on the bed and watched with hungry eyes as she untied her bikini top and let it fall away from her breast. 

“J, please” She whispered as he kissed down her body. She sat up on her elbows and watched as he got settled between her thighs, lifting her hips to help him take off her bottoms. She felt herself shiver as they made eye contact. 

Josh flicked his tongue out, sliding it against Airielle’s slit and she moaned letting her head and body fall back against the bed.  

He took his time with her, alternating between licking and sucking on her clit. Airielle's hands searched for something to grab, Josh reached one hand up and laced their fingers together placing them on her belly. With his other hand, he teased her entrance with his fingers. 

He pushed his index finger in “Shit” she moaned out as he added another finger, curling them. Airielle let out a loud moan as she came apart. He didn’t stop as she came, pumping his fingers into her faster. Her thighs started to shake as she felt herself about to fall apart again. She moaned, back arching off the bed, chanting his name over and over. She closed her eyes as she came again moaning as she felt herself gush on his fingers.

“Fuck” She moaned as she lay there trying to catch her breath as he started to kiss his way back up her body. 

“You love me?” He asked her, staring deep into her eyes. 

“Yes.” She nodded, “I love you Josh.” She whispered, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as he pushed himself inside of her.

Don't beat me up.. please 🙏🏼 I knowwwww Josh still needs to pay for his sins, BUT airielle needed this, she needed Intimacy

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA in this friendship? give me a minute here, it's more complicated than it sounds

I'm 19 years old, female. So there's this friend, we'll call her B (also 19F). We've been friends for years, since elementary. We've been good friends for that time, I thought.

But especially during high school, it was hard to spend time with her. She was always convinced the friend group hated her even though all I'd ever hear was that they liked her and were confused/frustrated/hurt as to why she thought that. She's always had a lot of mental illness going on (depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc) so I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. She spent most of her time in another part of the school refusing to spend time with me or the friend group saying she wanted "alone time" even though she was surrounded by other friends.

I knew she was feeling unwanted within the friend group, so I tried to spend time with her when she would let me. But it kind of alienated me from the rest of the friend group so I spent a good portion of my lunches alone. Plus, even though she would say its ok for me to be there, sometimes it felt like she hated me and my presence. But then she would turn around and tell me I was the only one she could be truly honest with, etc, etc.

The reason I tried not to pay too much heed to the idea that she might really hate being my friend is because I also struggle with anxiety pretty badly. I've been working really really hard to just listen to what people tell me, because I can't trust what I'm telling me.

But this feeling continued after high school, and it felt like there was something I didn't know, like she secretly hated me and only put up with me.

Almost every time I would invite her to do something, she would try to invite someone else too. That's fine, but when it happens almost every time... it made me feel like I was unwanted.

I got really clingy. I'll admit that. I texted her often (most days a week) and would get anxious when she didn't respond within a couple of hours, leading to me double, triple texting most of the time. She told me not to text her during work, but how am I supposed to know for sure? She told me her hours once, but I have no record of it and I don't expect her to memorize my schedule so I feel like that's unfair. Plus, if I didn't press for an answer, I often wouldn't get one at all or wouldn't get one for days. Like one time I tried to schedule a time to hang out a few weeks in advance. She told me she would get back to me, but then the day before, still nothing. I texted over and over again, trying to get an answer, until she got mad at me for texting so much and told me she didn't think hanging out would work out. But the point is I got clingy, in a way that I understand made her anxious.

My anxiety got the better of me and I decided to stop contacting her. I held to it for a couple of months, aside from wishing her happy christmas/new years. But my birthday came and went for the second year in a row without a word, and I decided I needed to talk to her about it.

I did, and although she refused to do it in person like I wanted, I thought it was a pretty good conversation. She told me about a couple things I was doing to make her uncomfortable. I promised to work on those and being less clingy. I told her I need her to be honest about the things that bother her, and she said she needed time to work on that skill. She said she was thinking a month, maybe less, so i agreed not to contact her first during that time and she promised to contact me soon.

I didn't hear from her for three months. I finally broke down and texted her, asking to talk it out and telling her this arrangement wasn't working for me. She didn't respond for almost a week. I needed peace of mind, so I said I was done with waiting and I would be open to rekindling the friendship later, but I wasn't going to hold my foot in the door for her any longer. No response again.

I remembered I owed her money and asked her when would be a good time to drop it off (it was not like five bucks, it was a fair amount of money so I didn't want to like leave it on a doorstep or something). No response again for a day. I told her if I didn't hear from her in a couple of days I was going to keep the money.

She finally responded a day later, saying she didn't have the energy for a "high maintenance" friendship and to leave the money in her mailbox.

I don't know who was at fault here. I mean, I was clingy and I ended the friendship, but she didn't give me a chance to change and didn't stick to her word. But I don't know if contacting her again after those three months was clingy? I really don't know, and the end of this friendship has been tormenting me. I just want to know who was at fault and then I can deal with it, but I honestly don't know.

Also, WIBTA for contacting B again and trying to rekindle the friendship?

Please do not ask multiple questions in a single submission. It just confuses things and makes it hard for people to vote in the poll.

#aita #am i the asshole

[espiepuffs]

It’s been a while!!

Characters: Geeta, Kieran, Nemona & Rika (x GN reader!!)

Summary: You’ve been away from your home region, Paldea, for several months. How does your partner react to seeing you back again??

Notes: Hello!! It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here, because I had a really bad art block and lost a bit of interest in pokemon :cc but I still love writing for the characters, and although it’s been a while since I’ve touched the games and writing, I hope it’s good regardless ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა requests are still open although I’m a bit slow on them atm due to the writer’s block!! PS: sorry that these are shorter than usual,, i swear ill make up for it ^^

Geeta

Geeta would be delighted to see you back in Paldea once more. As much as she’d hate to admit it, she’d missed you awfully, and nothing felt better than having you back in her arms.

Of course, when she was able to find the time in her day, she’d call you. The two of you would’ve had a specific time to call eachother <33

The calls would’ve probably only happened weekly, since Geeta was (and still is) extremely busy running the Pokémon league most of the time.

Anyway, back to the present! The day you come back, Geeta would’ve made room in advance just to have a day for just you and her to be together!!

She’s very dedicated to her job, but she treasures you more and wishes to spend time with you. As much as possible.

(It pains her that she couldn’t spend more time with you, but she’s a busy woman, so one day was all she could put aside…

She spends her day off with you glued to your side. She may not show it, but she missed you so, so, much and she just wants to relax with you!!

You two spend the entire day indoors, lazing about like two snorlax, tangled in each other’s limbs.

Rika

Rika takes time off to come see you at the airport, arms open and waiting for you to fill them!!

When you’re away, she’d always call you after work hours, listening to you as the day ends (in Paldea anyway.)

Her calls are always unexpected, yet frequent, but you can’t help but smile when you see Rika ringing.

If you don’t call, you get daily texts which always have cute and affirmative messages like ‘Miss you lots babe! Hope you’re having a fantastic time so far :))’

When you come back she’s like a puppy, always at your side!! She just wants to spend as much time as possible with you, please indulge her

She’ll go absolutely anywhere with you!! She just wants to spend time with you once you’re back, she’s missed you lots!

She’s not opposed to staying home either, as said, she just wants to spend time with you so she doesn’t mind what you do.

Unfortunately, the fun won’t last forever as Rika has to go back to work after. It physically pains her to take her arms off of you in the coming morning…

Kieran

In this case, your home reigon would be Kitakami. Whether you’re off In Paldea, Kalos or even the Johto region, he’d miss you a lot.

Since he’s not a working adult unlike the previous two, he has much more time to talk and contact you while you’re away. Messages and calls are sent your way daily, he just wants to know how his s/o is doing <33

He could, and would listen to you talking for hours. He finds your voice incredibly relaxing!!

Depending on how long you’re gone, Kieran’s poor heart will ache until your return. He values you so much and really wants to see you in person again :cc

He’s like a sad cat when he mopes.

He’s so happy when you return to Kitakami though!! Surprise him at his door!

When you’re back, he’d probably spend time going out and about around Kitakami with you. Now it’s your turn to listen to him, he’ll talk to you for ages about all sorts of things!!

His school life, home life, and interesting events are all things he’d bring up. He wants to make the most of his time today with you!

Nemona

Nemona would be buzzing with as much electricity as a Pikachu when she finds out you’re coming back!!

Beforehand, she’d make do with calling and texting you when you’re free, but she’d much rather see you face to face.

She’d love to hear about where you’ve been, and what the region is like!! Please talk her ear off <33

She’s so happy when you’re back. She practically bolts off in excitement with you in hand!

You two make up for lost time outdoors. Nemona will spend as much time as she can with you outdoors, going all around the region doing all sorts of things.

Sightseeing, checking out shops or simply going on a stroll is plenty enough for her! Nemona is definitely into quality time with you <33

But you know what the thing she wants to do most with you is??

That’s right, a battle! She’d love to see how your pokemon have grown since you were last on Paldea. You got any new ones?? Show them in battle!

She’s excited to have you back on Paldea, so enjoy your time together!

#pokémon #pokemon violet #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemonscarlet #geeta pokemon #Geeta x reader #rika pokemon #rika x reader #kieran pokemon #kieran x reader #nemona pokemon #nemona x reader

[writteninlunarlight-years]

~~~~ HEADCANONS ~~~~

This is a lovely commission from a moon of mine. They wish to be anonymous, but I do have a brief description of the headcanons. Hazbin character finds out their friend is self-harming and how they would help them. Id like this one with Charlie, Angel Dust, and Sir Pentious Platonic Charlie, Angel Dust, & Sir Pentious x Reader

TW: SELF-HARM MENTIONED, COPING SKILLS (not all skills will work for everyone), ANGST/FLUFF

Charlie:

When the news was broken to Charlie that you had harmed yourself, she was the saddest she had ever been.

She tried hard to be as strong as she could for you, and she stood by your side.

She did all sorts of tasks until you were ready to start taking on things again.

She would try to get you to talk about why or what happened, but she quickly learned to just let you be.

She showered you in rainbows, glitter, and platonic love to show you she cared so much about you.

Whenever you opened up to her the first time, instead of harming yourself, she was ecstatic that you trusted her, and she hugged you for hours.

She will 100% cry with you and be there through the ups and downs

She learns about these places called rage rooms, and she makes it a deal with you that once a month, you two will go

Once all the damage and anger is out during your friend sessions, she will take you to your favorite food place and just talk with you about anything

She sends you daily texts asking you how you are and making sure that you are well

She does it at random times of the day, too, so you don't think she is doing it out of routine but because she cares.

Angel Dust:

Angel Dust understood the need to harm yourself to let the pain out all too well, but to see his best friend like that was painful.

He cleaned you up nicely and took you to a dive bar to discuss some things.

He is the most meticulous person out of everyone just because he gets it and knows how to get through it.

He bargains with you that he will cut down on drugs and booze if you get a therapist and do healing activities with him.

You two sign up for all sorts of activities around Pentagram City to take your mind off the bad.

You guys did photoshoots, dress-ups, safe parties, artwork, music, and anything to help make your mind travel elsewhere.

Over time, he would do nightly check-ins and make sure that you had no other tools or abilities to hurt yourself again.

Once you were clean for a while, he threw you a big party, disguising it as a half-birthday party or something wild, so only you two really knew the meaning of it.

If you ever relapse he is gentle and kind with you, starting the process entirely back over.

He never gets mad or puts you down if you have a relapse or bad day. He is understanding and helps you find your grove again.

He has no care in the world if you need to interrupt his shoots, and he will leave to take care of you.

If you get worried that Val will hurt him, Angel just tells you it's going to be okay and that you matter more to the world than a few extra shots that Val will assign.

Sir Pentious:

Pentious is the most anxious snake in the world. He is terrified when he hears the news because he thinks he is being a bad friend.

When you inform him why you did what you did, he is just as anxious, but he is anxious because he wants to prevent it from ever happening again.

He has the Egg Bois stay with you when he has to go and do something so you won't be alone.

He does extensive research on how to help with depression, anxiety, and self-harm. He even learns a trick or two for himself.

Once he is confident that he can help you and get you the help you need, he will relieve the Egg Bois of their duty.

He talks to you about literally every option for treatment and assistance.

He helps you decide to stay in a private hospital for the time being.

He visits every visitation, laughs, and talks with you in the communal spaces.

He is there to help you reintroduce yourself to daily life when you get discharged.

He practically moves in with you at one point, sleeping on your couch.

After a couple of months, he feels safe leaving you alone but makes sure his number is on speed dial.

He takes you to all your checkups and therapy appointments that you get scheduled.

He is texting you on the dot if you get prescribed medicine when you need to take it.

He reminds you every day how important you are to the world and that you are his and the Egg Bois best friend.

#x reader #headcanon #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin #hazbinhotel #hotel hazbin #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel sir pentious #charlie morningstar #hazbin charlie #charlie x reader #angel dust #hazbin angel dust #angel dust x reader #sir pentious #sir pentious x reader #lunarwritings #moons #alastor x reader

[cosycafune]

YOU’RE JUST LIKE YOUR DADDY!

rich boy’s playhouse: chapter two:

a summary of the story: to continue to reap the benefits of satoru’s playhouse and love, you need to prove that you are worthy. I mean, the two of you love each other, but that’s only expressed through clouded, emotionally-unstabled intimacy. but what happens when a masked man hurts your emotions, leading to satoru attempting to romantically comfort you in ways you wouldn’t expect?

a synopsis of acts: fluff, angst, talks of intimacy, comforting, verbal fighting, threats of fighting, crying, almost panic attack, coldness, dismissiveness, mentions of spiralling, humiliation, threats, slapping, unestablished relationship, mentions of sexual acts, friends with benefits. chapter 2/???

previous part: chapter one.

“It’s always me,” Listening to your phone continuously ringing, you ignore it — mumbling to yourself while you lay within your bed.

Everything within you vigorously ached, being subjected to walking so long without any sense of direct. Well, what hurt further was sobbing erratically on your way back, feeling like a bird in a cage. It wounded your heart that Satoru completely humiliated you, unwilling to chase after someone like you.

Innately, it was all your fault. All your fault for expecting more from someone who showed you obvious love, only to scoff whenever you addressed it as love. Satoru’s your first everything, but he’s too knitted into his ego to realise that all you’ve ever done is love him. Yet, the only times he had ever shown that is through intimacy, where the two of you are concealed — tiny specs of nothing.

“If he ever cared, he wouldn’t have let me walk an hour home, crying, aching and a mental wreck,” Grasping onto your sheets with hurt, a lump forms within your throat, “How can he turn back and walk back to the party, knowing everyone feels sorry for me?” With your head thumping, you continue to ignore your phone.

Satoru’s feelings are complex to you, but it weirds you out drastically — especially since the two of you have shared so many romantic and sexual experiences together. You’re both each other’s first times, through virginities, angst, friendship and more. In your eyes, it hurt that the two of you were something. Yet, within his eyes, it seems as if he views you as nothing — something lowly and worth using.

What were you expecting from someone so rich, occasionally rich? But most importantly, someone whose relationship with their parents is nothing more than in shambles right now. As, Satoru’s father had been absent from his life for months — in moments where he needed him the most. So, it’s obvious Satoru’s taking his burning strands of heartache and burning them upon a once supple you.

Now, you linger — your limbs tainted and etched with the imperfections of Satoru’s nature. Imperfections he concealed behind his looks, his niceness only reserved in moments of friendship, intimacy or where you’re completely alone. Never would he ever want to openly press his lips upon your own, claim you publicly — so you knew what you had to do.

Frankly, you wanted to start fresh — away from the pitiful stares of people who feel bad for you. Bad as you’re being openly strung along, tackled with the hardship of a man whose greed suppressed all there is to you.

Selfishly, Satoru had disoriented your value — blowing hot and cold deliberately. Deliberately to observe you helpless scramble to save him, alighting his ego with the concept of knowing you would forever linger beside him. Forever inhale, ingrain and worship the pain and etching he would plant upon you.

Even in humiliation, he couldn’t help but seal your lips — so you met his standards. They’re subconscious procedures, but you knew his heart ached whenever he pushed you to your limits, completely breaking you until you’re pleading for him to free you or to apologise. Yet, this is your last straw.

“I will not be Satoru’s plaything or stupid playhouse, where he doesn’t want to choose me publicly,” Coming up with a plan to flee from Satoru’s cruel romantic reign upon you, you bundle yourself into a vulnerable ball, “I’ll choose to live with my mama, as no one knows where she lives.” Finalising the idea, you can’t help but spring up — growing agitated by Satoru’s spam calling.

Darting towards your desk, you drag your ailing physique towards your phone — astonished by Satoru’s heaps of miss calls.

Scoffing, you instinctively block Satoru’s overwhelming number — your heart longing for a slither of peace he would never grant you. Steering away from the resolved issue of Satoru Gojo, you nervously dial your mother’s number — longing to occupy her cottage with her. As, after all, living with your father was simply to gift you a better range of opportunities: university and the city.

Ring, Ring, Ring. Your heartbeat quickens, every moment you linger here squeezing your contorted heart — leaving you vulnerable to Satoru’s vengeance. One thing you knew was to not block him, as he would scan every surface of the world to discover your fleeing presence.

After all, Satoru’s attachment issues were insane — leaving you a chess piece within his pocket for whenever he longed to speak to you. Not all of your moments were bad moments, but a lot of the bad moments concealed the good moments where the two of you consistently consoled each other — making sure the two of you are okay.

However, it’s an okay that dodges the conflict in your heart and the unestablished ropes of your distorted relationship with Satoru.

“C’mon, mama, answer,” Beginning to panic, you violently ball up your fist — longing for you last steak of hope to not bail upon you.

“Y/n, baby, what’s up?” Gasping at your mother’s gentle voice, you reveal your smile and your sniffles.

“Mama, can I come back home for a bit?” Concealing your rough cries, you let out a choked sob through your sheepish request.

“I can book a quick taxi to come and get you, don’t bother with packing,” Understanding writhes within your mother’s elegant tone, pushing you into longing for her company.

“Thank you, mama,” Concealing your fearful sobs of sombreness, you shakily spew your strained breaths.

“I’ll be here for you, my sweet girl,” Your mama announces sweetly, leaving you into letting her notice your frantic cries. Cries that leave her gasping, unable to fathom the ache you carry against your chest.

“I just thought that someone would love me for me,” Snifljng, you inform your mother hopelessly, “I trusted him, but he humiliated me in front of everyone.” Ranting to her, you listen to her breaths of conflict, anger and ache.

No one wanted to see their baby in pain.

“No, don’t let a stupid boy make you question your worth,” Anger entwines with your mother’s tone, “You’re perfect, so don’t blame yourself for an idiot boy not realising he had everything in front of him.” Hyperventilating at your mother’s maternal assurance, you weep loudly — incapable of holding back your over-pouring emotions.

You’ve bottled them up for months.

“Baby, I’ll be here for you, mama’s here,” Focusing on your mother’s voice, your heart swells lovingly, “You’re my baby, and I’ll hug you for as long as it takes.” Holding back her own tears, your mother proposes her heartfelt promise.

“I just wanted to be enough for him,” Croakily speaking, you begin to calm down slightly — focusing on your mother’s angelic humming.

“He’s too much of an idiot to not realise he had everything he needed in front of him,” Gasping at mama’s straightforward sentence, you grow to realise your time is strained and limited.

If you didn’t hurry, Satoru would gather you again — spoiling you momentarily to suppress you. You knew his patterns, but your tired physique still longed to be catered to by your first love. A man who happened to reign up you, through so much more than anyone else could understand.

“The taxi’s here, my darling dove,” Your mama tells you, staying on the phone to you while you put nothing more on than shoes. Even if you’re in your pyjamas, you didn’t care — you needed to leave.

Running effortlessly, you grow uncaring for your messy looks, your unkempt breathing and the downpour of your emotions. Emotions that leave you spiralling whilst you run, the vacancy of the halls granting you an unwatched freedom. No peering eyes captured you right now, your temporary control over freedom exhilarated you.

Arriving at the front of your dorm building, you spot the peering taxi — opening the door and settling within it. Your mother confirmed who the taxi driver was before you settled in, leaving you feeling safe — even if it was two am in the morning.

“You’ll be okay, young girl,” The taxi woman spews, smiling at you from her driver’s mirror — leaving you to breakdown further.

As you take in the entirety of everything, you view a panicking, ivory head strolling towards your dorm building. That’s when you realised that Satoru had planned to selfishly console you, pushing you into subconsciously monitoring him.

Foolishly watching his messy physique, your eyes bury into the teary state of Satoru Gojo.

“Damn, that boy looks a mess,” The taxi lady announces, leaving you to block out her words — focusing contently on a surveying Satoru.

“Satoru,” Muttering his name from your shaky lips, it’s as if he heard you. As when you subconsciously say his name in a farewell whisper, his eyes greet your ruined ones in the taxi.

“Y/n?!” Inching nearer to the taxi, you erratically lock the taxi door, “I won’t let you leave me without you letting me confess to you!” Satoru frustratingly speaks, pushing you into weeping further — unwilling to fall for his never ending cycle.

“No! You embarrassed me!” Growing angered, you finally raised your voice at Satoru’s pleading state, “You shut me up in front of everyone, letting them look at me with pity, before you turned back.” Shaking your head, covering your ears, you barely could meet Satoru’s eyes.

“I just wanted you to love me, you know?” Gathering confidence, you meet his desperate, cerulean eyes, “I’m tired of being baggage you only like when you’re happy.” Sniffling, you glance at Satoru with nothing more than hope that he would tear down the door and start new with you.

“You’re not baggage,” Satoru truthfully tells you, his unkempt demeanour properly being registered by you as he forces himself to swallow his pride.

“Goodbye, Satoru,” Painfully spewing words you were never fond of, you push down your shaky hands, your heart unable to handle saying goodbye to him.

“I won’t let this be goodbye,” Stress overwhelms Satoru’s groggy, choppy statement.

“You’re literally your daddy’s son!” You shout with annoyance, unsure of how he made this about himself.

Satoru’s lips part with a raw pain that endows you, too, “I’m in pain, but you still manage to make it about you because you’re Satoru Gojo.” Muttering, you were glad that you muted your mother beforehand — or she would have cussed Satoru out.

“Drive, ma’am!” Swiftly shouting your words, the taxi driver begins to drive — leaving you to watch Satoru lightly bang against the window in a desperate plead.

“No! No! No!” Satoru exclaims through his pelting tears, momentarily running to his car — in hopes you wouldn’t get away.

However, Satoru was too late. Too late to reach the taxi, as the streets ran cold — completely empty. Not a single trace of your presence remained, aside from the pink phone keychain he had purchased you. In his eyes, that was your way of saying an unspeakable goodbye — leaving him hellbent on saving you from the old parts of him.

Satoru wanted to change to find you again. He had to, as he loved you with all he had. Yet, it only took him now to realise that he had been loving you in all the wrong ways. He had failed to truly pour his heart into the romantic aspects you longed for, and a title for him to claim with you.

You just wanted to be seen, and he failed to gift you something so beautiful.

Rich boy’s playhouse. Maybe he is his daddy’s son? Because in the same way his mother suffered, that’s what he had pushed onto you.

Satoru’s going to make this right, even if it takes him plentiful years.

—

do not copy, modify or translate my works. all rights belong to me: cosycafune. 2024.

#gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jjk angst #jjk fanfic #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x you #jjk satoru #angst #gojo fanfic #gojo angst #gojo smut #satoru gojo x black reader #gojo x y/n #jujutsu gojo #satoru x reader #satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen satoru #satoru smut #jujutsu satoru #satorugojo #satoru fluff

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Singer!FemReader

Summary: When the secret relationship between a famous singer and a popular quarterback is revealed no one could be happier. But when lyrics to an unreleased song are released, the strength of their relationship is questioned and tested when fans, reporters and exes start coming into the mix. Will you get your happy ending or is this the beginning of the end?

Chapter 16: Robbed

#Track9 Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, mentions of sex, sexual assault, foul language, violence (Miles gets what he deserves), angst, but a fluffy ending.

Word Count: 2.9k

Part 3 🖤

The walk to Joe’s place was the nicest part of Y/n’s day so far, she thought, the bath she had when she left his place would’ve been nice but her mind would not shut up. Granted she had enough conflicting events happen in the last 24 hours. The Louisiana breeze helped her put things in perspective though, that dick never had her best interest had heart at any point of their relationship. It nice to be entertained for a few months, but she could not believe her degree of naivete when one cute guy gave her some attention. Y/n knew she couldn't blame herself for his actions, but she couldn’t help it. If Miles was actually a nice guy he wouldn’t have had to bribe or drug her into giving up that part of herself. Miles didn’t know how lucky he was, because if it was any other girl there would be no chance he’d be able to keep his scholarship. She came to the realization that no self respecting man would even think of doing what he did. But the fact that she was actually r*ped would be a bit harder to come to terms with.

When Y/n got to the house the guys were staying at, she just walked in like every other visitor because apparently having that much muscle in one house meant they could risk leaving the front door unlocked.

Without even announcing herself, she plopped down on the couch next to her friends, they were very occupied in a Super Smash Bros battle. “Who’s winning?” She asked.

“I am.” They both say, she scoffs and pulls out her phone.

Five minutes later the controllers are thrown onto the floor, one in victory and one in anger. “I told you man, I can’t lose.” Joe cheeses leaning back on the couch and throwing an arm around the cushion Y/n laid on.

“That’s because you have no life outside of football.” Ja’marr grumbles.

“You’re just mad we’re 7-0. And I took out that one chick like last week.” 

“It was over a month ago and isn’t ‘that one chick’ supposed to be your girlfriend?” Joe’s mouth snapped shut.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Ja’marr smirked then sat on the arm of the chair to the right of the quiet girl. “What’s up lil sis?”

She raised a brow and looked up at him, “Marr I’m older than you, but I’m fine.”

“Damn just fine? What about your date last night with Meters?” Her jaw tightened and fist clenched at his question, thankfully for her he had his back turned, but someone else saw her tense reaction.

“It was fine, I’m probably gonna break up with him soon though. It’s that time.” She said as calmly as possible with her jaw still clenched.

“Why? What happened?” Joe asked with his brows furrowed, but with a smile peaking on his lips. Ja’Marr shook his head with a small smirk on his face.

Venus shrugged not looking at either of them, “oh nothing. Things like this just time out after a while.” 

“If you say so.” Joe says, still not convinced. “Wanna order something, I’m starving?”

She shakes her head reading the same spam email for the hundredth time. “I’m good.” But her stomach clenches at the mention of sustenance.

 “You sure, I could get you a milkshake and a side of fries from Mama’s?” The thought of her favorite combo makes bile crawl up her throat. “I’m really not hungry.”

This time Ja’Marr looks at the girl worried, him and Joe exchange concerned looks. “You once skipped class to go to Big Mama’s. You said the only time you’d turn down her food was if you’re dead.” He grabs her wrist and checks her pulse. “You are very much alive Y/n. What’s wrong?”

The looks they're giving her make anxiety run up her spine, so she stands up from the couch to escape their scrutinization. “There’s nothing wrong!” The brave tone she tries for comes out wrecked with the quivering of her voice.

Ja’Marr crossed his brawn arms while Joe reaches for her, “that doesn’t sound like nothing’s wrong.”

She looks up with a groan and starts to pace the room. ‘If I tell them- no there’s no way this would end up not going completely south. But they’re not going to stop pestering me. I have to tell them. Maybe they won’t overreact, they’re too hungry to get that mad right?’ Her inner dialogue and lack of eye contact does nothing to calm the reactions of the men in the room.

She takes a deep breath and looks at the two large football players with big doe eyes. Yea there’s no calm way of resolving this. “I’m going to tell you, but you can’t freak out.” Like that’s going to work.

“What did he do?” Joe asks taking on the persona of a threatened wild bear.

“We won’t be mad.” Ja’marr says more calmly.

It’s crazy to think literally minutes ago he was the one getting heated about a video game while Joe was as cool as a cucumber. She thinks, oh how she would pay for time to rewind back to then. Y/n picks at her nails as their frustrating glares burn holes in her skull.

“Ok so, last night Miles took me out, like you already know. Everything was great, it was really fun, we got a bit high, ate good food then we sort of did it.” She says hesitantly. “It was all consensual until it kinda wasn’t, but it’s not that big of a deal. He just wasn’t the best partner and that’s ok, no one’s perfect. We just weren’t as compatible as we thought.” She rambles while analyzing their faces.

Ja’Marr kept his calm resolve, but Joe’s face was growing redder by the second. He cleared his throat and spoke up. “Go back. What do you mean it was consensual until it wasn’t?”

“Look it really wasn’t that big of deal, he just prioritized himself more than me. I know some guys don’t last that long, so it was fine until he treated me like shit when it was over. I mean he quite literally took the shirt off my back and kicked me out.” She shrugged.

“Y/n you keep skipping over some parts, so I’m gonna ask you this again.” Joe took her hands and sat her down on the couch. “Did he force himself on you?” He was trying so hard to not to lose that last shrivel of clam, but the look of innocence on her face when the girl’s eyes welled up, and the way he she fell into his arms did it for him. He hated the way she looked so young in his arms, he hated the borderline homicidal ideas that he wanted to see through when he saw Miles, but most of all he hated how helpless he felt now that what was done was done and there was no way for him to take away her pain. 

They stayed stayed like that, Venus curled up in the quarterback’s arms, until she fell asleep. Only when he was sure she wouldn’t wake up from her much needed rest did he untangle himself and get up. He covered her with the blanket she left months ago on their couch then joined Ja’Marr in the kitchen.

“I’m gonna kill him. You coming?” He asked pulling on a LSU hoodie. 

Ja’Marr shook his head and grabbed the arm of the QB and pulls him back. “Look I want him dealt with just as much as you do, but you know we can’t leave her like this. We’re all she’s got right now.” They look over at her sleeping figure.

“I’m sure we could be done before she gets up if we grab some of the guys.” Joe huffs, then sighs looking down.

“Ja’marr you don’t know how I feel right now. Sure she’s like a sister to you, but I think I’m in love with her. When I look at Y/n I see my future, I see her on the sidelines as we win our first superbowl. I see myself thanking her during every single award acceptance speech. I see us living in my hometown talking about how much we love our kids. I don’t like seeing her like this, I can’t.”

Ja’Marr puts a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I know, but it’s our responsibility to be there for her right now. This isn’t the first time she’s gone through this, but it wasn’t this bad last time. If you love her as much as you say you do, you need to make sure she knows you’re there for the rights reasons. So what do you think she needs right now?”

“Food.” Joe replies with full seriousness. “Not her usual, but something she’ll actually eat. Instead of a cheeseburger we’ll get her a melt, its close enough for familiarity but still new enough so she can’t associate it with him. Tots instead of fries, ‘potato is potato’ she’d say.” He chuckles. “And replace the milkshake with a malt, but instead of just chocolate it should be peanut butter cups.”

Ja’Marr smirks, “she really does have you completely wrapped around her finger without even knowing it. I’ll go by Mama’s, grab all of us dinner then we’ll take it back to hers.” His friend nodded then went back over to the couch. Joe lifted her legs up, sat down then placed them over his lap then admired how peaceful she looked in her sleep despite pain that put her there.

Ja’marr shook his head at the two, as he walked out the door he hoped that one day they’d get that future Joe spoke so passionately about.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

Peace, calm, and tranquility; three things you hadn’t felt in forever it seemed like. The heavy blanket of sleep slowly lifted off of you as woke up from the short slumber. Waking up you could feel the weight of Joe’s arms on your legs and the stroke of his fingers against your calf. You don’t know when you fell asleep, but it the sky was much dimmer than before. Joe hadn’t noticed you’d woken up yet so you took the time to think about how different everything would be if you were with him instead. You knew you weren’t his type, but it was nicer to think about that compared to reality. You always felt safe with him, it wasn’t his height or how big he was, it was his aura. He oozed protectiveness, you definitely saw it when you told him what happened. 

Ja’Marr came through the door a few minutes into your little ‘Joe watching’ session. “Hey lil sis, how’d you sleep?”

Joe frowned at him confused before turning his head to you. “When did you wake up?”

You shrugged, “a couple of minutes ago. I wanted to see how long it took you to notice, then someone ruined it.” You said playfully side eyeing Ja’Marr.

He lightly chuckled as you swung your legs off of him. “Something smells incredible, please tell me its for me.” 

Ja’Marr waved the bag from Mama’s in front of you before pulling it back to his chest. “Yup, but we gotta get you home first.” 

“Do we have to? I could just stay here, forever.” You pout slouching back onto the couch.

“As much as we’d love that, you know the rules of the house after the weekend. Come on pretty girl.” Joe says pulling you off the couch.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

When the trio reaches Y/n’s apartment, Joe and Ja’Marr secretly keep an eye out for Miles hoping he doesn’t show himself until after she’s safe and sound in her home. Thankfully he wasn’t around, so she didn’t have to see him at all. 

They spend another hour or two eating and keeping a smile on the girl’s face, until she gets tired and decides to turn in. “I’m beat, you guys can see yourselves out whenever. I’m going to bed.” 

As they clean up the mess they created in her living room Joe spots her phone and gets an idea. Already knowing her password, he goes to her messages and taps on Miles’ contact.

“What are you doing?” Ja’marr scolds.

“What needs to be done, I don’t want her to see his face ever again. So I’m gonna make sure he stays away from her.” Joe expresses, as if it’s a completely normal idea.

Ja’Marr kisses his teeth before grabbing the phone. “Look if you’re going to do this, you can’t just text him like you would. ‘We should meet up.’ Really? Nah, let me handle this.” Joe steps aside and watches the man work.

To Miles: hey babe I know its late, but we should really talk about last night.

From Miles: I would love to talk about last night Princess, see you in a few

To Miles: i’ll be waiting ;)

“Did you really need the winky face?” Joe asks with an arched brow.

“Yea, its all about setting the scene. Plus she’s all about the old school emojis.” Sometimes, Joe thinks, he doesn’t understand what’s going on in the younger guy’s head but does at the same time. But since he seems to think it’s a great idea, we might as well keep it. Guess he’s not only a fast thinker on the field but off it too.

They put the phone on the coffee table and leave the apartment, Joe locking it with his spare key. “I can’t believe she gave you the spare and not me.” 

The quarterback just grins, but it doesn’t last long because that’s when Miles gets back. At first glance, they can tell he’s annoyed to see them in front of ‘his girl’s’ door, but then he drops the attitude for a friendly facade. “Burrow, Chase! It’s been a while, how’ve you been?”

They both shrug their shoulders. “Oh you know, we’ve been better, but that’s just life right.” Joe’s artificial smile causes an unsettling feeling in the man’s core.

Miles gulps, “yea life can be tricky sometimes. You guys had plans with my princess today? I tried to come by earlier but she wasn’t home.” 

“Yea, we spent most of the afternoon at the house just talking. Actually you know that light airiness in her voice when she’s happy?” Ja’Marr asks, hesitantly Miles nods. “It’s so sweet, she makes everyone’s day ten times better just with her voice. But it’s the weirdest thing, today when she was over, that joyful smile and cheery voice was nowhere to be seen. Did you notice that J?”

The man pinched his chin ‘thinking’ about the question. “You know what I did notice that.” 

“That’s weird she was good when she left my place this morning.” Miles’ palms clam up as he tries to get his door open.

“Was she? Or is that what your sick mind is concocting about last night?” The door to his apartment creaks open. 

“I don’t know what she told you but she’s lying. They always are, bitches- I mean-

Joe takes two long strides and punches Miles square across the face causing him stumble into the apartment. “Nah we know what you meant.” 

“That was out of line bro, what’s coach gonna say when his QB is out for another season?” Ja’Marr scoffs and slams the door, locking them in.

“We’re not gonna be the ones worried about missing seasons.”

❁ཻུ۪۪♡

The only sounds heard from the apartment are the heavy thuds of fists being thrown into his body and the groans of pain coming out of his mouth. They go on for a few more minutes before the final thud of his beaten body hitting the floor vibrating the ground underneath and into the hallway.

Then Joe’s voice is heard from beyond the door, “you tell anyone about this and we’ll make sure everyone important to you knows how you treat women and especially what you did to kindest woman you’ll probably ever meet.”

The football players exit the apartment with satisfied grins and bruised knuckles, feeling a sense of accomplishment and relief. Then they see you. “Y/n.” You dawn another set of tears in those big brown eyes, they can only hope it wasn’t them who caused it.

“How much of that did you hear?” Joe asks chewing on his lip.

You sniffle and attempt to wipe away the tears. “I- um, I came out to get my phone and I heard you talking. I didn’t think anything of it until I realized it was him on the other side, then well.” You gesture at their hands. Joe immediately puts them behind his back.

“Y/n we didn’t mean to scare- The words are knocked out of Ja’Marr’s mouth as you run into their arms, throwing yours around their bodies as much as you can. “Thank you.”

They sigh in relief wrapping their arms around you. “No problem lil sis.” Ja’Marr smiles as you let go from the tight hug. “You don’t know how much that meant to me, or how much y’all mean to me.”

Joe can’t help but wrap his arms around you even tighter than before and kiss your head. “We’d do- I’d do anything for you babe.” You smile at the nickname change, even though it’s so small it makes your heart grow 3 sizes bigger. You stay like that for a while, just soaking in the love appreciation you have for each other. But unbeknownst to you, Ja’Marr decides to capture the moment and make a note to show it to them on their wedding day. 

Because their love is so painfully obvious, they’re going to need proof to realize that it’s been there all along.

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

a/n: petition for Ja’Marr to officiate their wedding, sign here🩷

<<<Previous Part | Next Chapter>>>

main masterlist

tag list: @light-yagami-l

#miles robinson #bad boyfriend #overprotective #black reader #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow bengals #joe burrow x black reader #h.e.r. #social media #rnb #nfl imagine #lsu #lsu joe #lsu joe burrow #college #flashback #robbed #track9 #taken advantage of #bengals barnesbabe #track 9 #jamarr chase #joey b #friends to lovers #tw noncon #JAMARR is the og BengalBabe shipper

[chirpsythismorning]

Fun fact: In the original pitch for Stranger Things, El had a little brother.

After being rejected by almost 20 studios for the Montauk pilot, the Duffers were finally green-lit by Netflix. It was at this time that they began casting and then writing the first season officially, which included reworking a lot of that first episode.

This led to the removal of the brother reference, and with it, removing any sort of arc El could have had about her apparent brother.

But the thing about this moment, is that it might not have been scrapped entirely...

Going into the final season, no one can explain why or how El recognized Will back in 1x02. And while there are plenty of things on the show that are left unexplained, with a small portion likely left that way with the intention to uncover it later, what sets this moment apart from the rest is that there are very few possibilities here.

Because for starters, the story presents El's ability to see people in the void in s1 as requiring either a picture of that person for reference, or having met that person before.

But when El see's this picture of Will, she's never met him before. Or maybe she has, but we wouldn't know because they never showed us. They could have just not done this scene at all, given that it's clearly a copy/paste/edit of something scrapped from the pitch. Or they could have even still included it, but explained it.

One explanation could be that the lab had shown El a picture of Will before, similar to what they did with the Russian agent they wanted to spy on. But then that begs to question, why would the lab show El a picture of Will? Why would they want to see what he was doing? That alone is incriminating in and of itself, implying that Will is more connected to the lab than we realize.

The only other, and frankly most likely explanation, would be that El stumbled across Will at some point on her journey between escaping the lab and Will going missing. This is actually something that happens in The Other Side comic, which explores all the things Will may have experienced during his time in the Upside Down.

Though it’s worth noting the comics aren’t technically canon, and I highly doubt they would outright spoil everything in relation to Will’s time there, years before it was intended to be revealed. But still, let's humor this for a moment given that I do think Will's time in the UD is going to be very relevant in s5, which means it's highly likely they will finally address how exactly El saw him.

Basically, in the comic, Will see’s El walking through the woods, almost apparition like, glowing as she passes by, while also sporting the Benny’s burgers shirt. This means they would have crossed passed within a short span of time, between when El escaped Benny’s when the agents arrived, but before she was found by the boys.

Though it’s worth noting that we’re seeing this all from Will’s perspective. This means from the UD, Will was capable of seeing El on the other side, despite them being on different sides. And not only that, but she also looks back at him.

What confuses me about this, is that it doesn’t make sense for El to be in the woods, only to randomly decide to pop in to the void for a moment. She was trying to escape the lab and everything that came with it. I doubt she had any desire to lurk back there for some reason, not until someone encouraged her to. Not to mention, it would make no sense for her to go there and see Will if she wasn't even looking for him in the first place. And so this would mean Will and El could see each other, with Will being in the UD, and El being on the other side.

While it does seem pretty far off, given that you would think Will and El wouldn't be able to see each other from different sides, it is true in the story that El not only recognizes Will, but knows that he is in danger. She mentions that he is hiding specifically.

Which means she has likely seen him within the last 24 hours regardless.

This, in combination with Will being able to respond to El in the void at the end of the season in Castle Byers, when no one else outside of Terry and flayed-Billy have been able to, seems to imply that there is indeed something special about Will that makes him capable of communicating with El from the UD. Not only that, but El also seems to have an ability to be in this constant knowing state of how Will is doing, without even checking again to confirm. She's just certain of it. And she seems terrified about it.

Going forward, El never uses a picture of Will to find him. She never did. And more often than not, they don’t show us what she see’s either, not until the very end. And that’s the moment they reveal that he was able to communicate with her.

Again, there was really no reason to have El recognize Will. If anything it complicates things. But the fact that they chose to introduce this concept, with a scene from the original pitch that was related to El’s younger brother, with her pointing at his name cryptically, startling Benny, only to revamp it and have El not say anything at all while pointing at the picture of Will, startling Mike… It just really makes you stop and think.

Which brings me to the other aspect of this that might have people doubting, which is that El’s brother was originally younger than her.

We know Will is not younger than El, so how could this apply to him?

Well, it might be helpful to consider that in the original script, El was actually 10 years old, while the boys were always 12. Meaning that for some reason, they decided to age her up to the age of the boys, aka the same age as Will…

Ever since @erikiara80 shared this brother discovery with me, I have been sort of reeling. It then led to other little discoveries of changes they made between Montauk and Stranger Things.

It’s important to understand that the Montauk bible and the original script precedes what we ended up with in the final product, with it finally changing and evolving months, maybe even a year since that original vision. Even casting occurred before writing started for the first season. We know this because casting announcements were made in June and August of 2015, with writing not starting until August going into early 2016, simultaneously while they were filming.

And believe it or not, what I've discovered is that a lot of the changes they made between their original plans and what we see in the final product, have to do with not only Willel, but also Byler.

If you've read the original script for Montauk, you'll know that Mike's crush on Jennifer Hayes was focused on right from the jump, along with the birthmark on his face being focused on, which was the main cause of the bullying he experienced.

This has actually been talked about recently, and some of the claims people make do fit with what I am genuinely starting to consider here, which is that the initial plan for what makes Mike an outcast shifted.

I think when they completed casting, and started actually deep diving into what they wanted this world to look like, both from a short-term and long-term standpoint, they were presented with some pretty interesting discoveries, arguably already hiding in their initial plans without realizing it.

And this is where it sort of becomes a 'chicken or the egg' situation. Because which one came first? Byler or Willel?

I can't say for certain, because obviously this is all just speculation. But in the case that Willel came first, I think Byler would come very naturally after that.

The Duffers themselves are twins. Then they hire Noah, who is a twin. Then they're thinking and planning for El's past and how her family all fits into this, and they're thinking... wait a damn minute... We could totally Star Wars this bitch!

And then when they think it couldn't get any better, they uncover another layer that they hadn't planned or really considered in their initial plans.

While Will was always going to have sexual identity issues according to the Montauk bible, meaning that the writing process for him likely involved sitting down imagining scenarios that encapsulated this arc for Will from the beginning, they were simultaneously now finding very interesting aspects of Mike's character that made it hard not to at least consider the possiblity that Mike is not exactly straight.

Just think about it. The Byers and Wheelers are basically polar opposites on the spectrum of what a family looks like. While Will's discovery and acceptance of his queerness is interesting to explore because he comes from a low-income, single-mom household, all while having been bullied for years based on his perceived queerness, he also has a mother and brother constantly reinforcing that they will accept him no matter what. They've been sort of hitting us over the head with it for years, and so it wouldn't be very satisfying for his entire arc to merely lead up to something we've known all along. It's pretty much a given at this point.

On the other side of the spectrum, Mike comes from a more upper-middle class family at the end of a cul-de-sac, more aligned with what a nuclear family looks like. Mike's family is also presented as being more conservative, and while Karen does give that very queer-coded speech to Mike in s1 (I'm convinced they only wrote this after deciding to explore queer-coding more heavily with Mike), it also comes with comments from Ted and even still Karen that hint that they are probably not as open-minded and accepting as Will's family is to him. Which means Mike's arc would be a lot more about acceptance around him from his loved ones who we have been led to believe might not be as accepting of his queerness in contrast to Will.

And so as they're putting this story together, and they're being presented with something very interesting. Two similar experiences that play out in different ways because of the characters circumstances.

Will goes missing, and his twin sister with a buzzcut pops up and has the ability to help them find Will.

This leads to several moments where El is being compared to as not only a boy, but Will as well.

Now suddenly, their initial plans to have Mike's arc be about having a girl be interested in him and to hopefully have his first kiss and feel like less of a loser, starts to look a lot like what the experience a queer kid in his position might encounter growing up in the environment that he did.

And if you don't want to take my word for it, just hear the Duffer's themselves hinting at what they initially planned for Mike and the fact that it changed.

The changes don't stop there.

Believe it or not, 'It was a seven', did not exist in the initial pitch. When the boys went outside bickering over Nancy, they leave right after that.

Another thing that changed from the first script, was Scott Clarke's introduction:

And so you might be thinking, who cares? What does that have to do with anything?

Well, it's interesting because the line we end up with on the show is arguably one of the most on the nose Twelvegate proofs to date. Mind you, this is from the first episode:

Why chuck the original version, which was arguably more interesting and fascinating in terms of it hinting at the mysteriousness surrounding this story, only to replace it with him listing off tips about their upcoming test?

Well, I think it's the irony of it all. Here Mr. Clarke is practically telling us where to look to figure stuff out for ourselves what is going on, with all the kids filing out and ignoring him...

I relate to Scott a litttle too much in this shot here, any time I try to drop Willel evidence.

And the changes go on, as they obviously would.

Things like Terry Ives not even being El's mom, but actually a man who more so aligns with the characterization of Murray.

And one very interesting one I almost overlooked was in Hopper's introduction, where instead of a kids drawing done by who we assume to be Sarah, we actually see a picture on the wall of him and his wife and daughter... Interesting that they decided to switch it something that is a lot less definitive in presenting what Hopper's past looked like...

If you've made it this far, congratulations.

If you still think I'm out of my mind, just remember that El was going to have a brother in the original script, but they scrapped the scene and gave a near identical one to introduce her connection to Will instead 😘

#byler #stranger things #willel twins #twelvegate #montauk #as you can see #i am out of my mind #and i'm okay with that #i've spent the last couple months trying to make a video going over all the willel twin evidence #and i can't decide if it's even possible to do without going over an hour #like there is just so much shit that fits too perfectly into this family being ripped apart by mind control and time shenanigans #i hope to have it done soon #trying to make it less than 20 minutes #but it's probably going to end up being closer to an hour #especially with this stuff from the montauk pitch being added to the mix now #anyways #willel and byler are the curtain behind the curtain #if you are open to one of them #you are bound to stumble across the other #and they don't want that to happen #stay tuned for the inevitable twin imagery to continue in s5 related to willel leading up to the big reveal #bc it's arguably the most consistent thing about this damn show #and tbh this all just makes the queer-coding for mike in s1 a lot more concrete to me #them exploring will's queerness through his dad's expectations for him to do more 'manly' things like play baseball #and jonathan saying he shouldn't like things just bc people telll him he's supposed to #how they connect that narratively with the boys being at a baseball field when mike's being pressured about his supposed feelings for el #with the bullies showing up and literally being homophobic seconds later #the fact that jennifer hayes did in fact exist in the original pilot and was the girl mike had a crush on #only for them to scrap that and just make it about her having a crush on will... #never once introducing this idea of mike liking her...

[deoidesign]

I can't wait for this to come back!!! >>> when is this coming back?

#seriously there has been such an uptick recently in people asking me about my hiatus #I KEPT GETTING SICK #FOR NO REASON #BECAUSE OF OVERWORK... #like literally without exaggeration once a month minimum knocked flat on my ass for multiple days #and mysteriously since being on hiatus hmmmm #it hasnt been happening hmmmmmm #almost like making LIKE 50 PAGES A MONTH #is a little too much work! #for anyone! #no amount of time saving texhniques makes that less work #and I'm trying to make it a satisfying conclusion #which takes more time #and I'm trying to write as much as possible before coming back #as much as webtoon will let me #because twice now ive had to write and produce episodes week to week #and it absolutely destroys the quality of the arc #in my opinion #it at least makes me less satisfied #and whats the fucking point of spending thousands of hours on something #if im being forced into a schedule that. when i get to the end. im not even satisfied with what ive done. #so seriously like please #I'm trying to be as transparent as i can possibly be without outright spoiling everything im writing #its good #it's fun #it will take time to be those things the rest of the way through #ive finished three episodes and I'm halfway through two more #i have 13 episodes thumbnailed #and i have 22 more episodes to write and thumbnail #because webtoon said i need to make it fit exactly into that space

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day #how they're already memories since moments pass so fast #everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever #and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go? #should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you. #on the other hand it will be the last time i see you. #and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed #it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily #so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore? #im going to be alone for so much of my life. #i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day #ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more. #how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been #the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief #and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true. #sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately #id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again #like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night #one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again. #talkys #i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it? #how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath.... #i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him. #i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore. #i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone. #and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter. #i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i #hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day

[lesbiansanemi]

I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now #because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now #and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day #we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME??? #also it's such a waste of fucking water.... #idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off #but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up #and this is also something that happens multiple times a day #like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god #but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach #'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit #and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good #his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before #also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career #opportunities for him here (which is true) #and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here' #like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here??? #but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc #and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now #i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma #and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own #it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down #about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life #and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done #and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this #that has been made PAINFULLY clear #ugh this is so fucking horrendous #what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person #who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life #like explain it to me jfc

[girlcrushau]

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/ #but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to. #until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you) #and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text. #i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in. #just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me. #im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest. #and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 15: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should purchase some new shoes for himself while he's in the city...

~

It costs quite a bit of coin, but in the end he decides that having a new sturdy pair of boots will serve him well on his travels. After he's done in the shop, he rushes back to the local inn before nightfall, eventually settling into a somewhat restless sleep..

The next morning, he orders some cheap vegetable stew from a food stall, then lounges in a park as he has his breakfast, watching the squirrels weave through flowering trees and birds pecking about in the dewy grass.. When finished with his meal (and sufficiently recovered from the emotional turmoil of burning his tongue on the soup), he quickly sells his old pair of shoes to a sketchy pawn shop before finally getting back to his journey...

By his calculations, if he he walks all day, it should only be two more sleeps before he gets to his destination, so he sets out to travel as efficiently as possible. He doesn't have the money to rent a cart, or the skill to ride a borrowed horse, but, he does have some fancy new walking shoes and a renewed sense of purpose. No more meandering through fields looking for flowers, napping in the shade, or scanning the ground for cool rocks.. He's going to focus this time!

......After a few hours, he comes across a broken down carriage in the middle of the road, with few people surrounding it, seemingly stuck trying to repair a wheel or something. It's hard to discern from afar..

Maybe if he helps them, he could get a free ride.. or some coins.. or make a new lifelong friend! Who knows? Possibilities flood his mind, this is what adventuring is all about! Wandering into interesting situations and making the most out of them!! .. But, then he recalls his previous oath.. he's supposed to focus today and not allow himself to sidetracked.. And who says he has the skills to help anyway? It could always just be a waste of time... Hmm...

What should he do?

~

~

Additional Information

the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

#paventure posting #poll #polls #choose your own adventure #GHWOOPPPs yeah it's been an entire month basically since the last one ghj.. I said I was trying to get back on schedule.. idk what happened #I guess I initially thought that april would be a less busy month but then it actually ended up being MORE busy with a ton of appointments #and stuff so then I had like no time. on top of trying to get a lot of other stuff done... so.. eughhh #I DO STILL want to keepon track of this more though. I want to at least get him to the abandoned castle so he can complete #his quest. I think like. the first poll a lot of people seemed to like and care about and participate in so it was kind of like 'oh! cool! #it can be a fun collaborative story with a lot of people!' but then gradually less people participate or care so then I kind of allow mysel #to slack with it as well liike 'oh its fine if I miss a day or two here and there' which then turns into a month when I have other stuff #to do lol. Because it does still take time. like maybe 2 hours to put a post together. even if the art and writing is relatively rushed and #quick. Especially since polls are not editable once posted so half the time is just proofreading the post and tags 15 times #just to make super sure there's no errors or etc. lol.. But trying to clear two hours of time during an already hectic day for something #that generally speaking very few people are engaged with or care about at all when it's meant to be interactive (like with normal art #or costumes or other stuff I do - low interaction doesnt bother me since that's not the point/it's not as relevant. but with an actual poll #you do want like.. the most poeple possible to vote on it etc. lol) so it's like.. ehhh #I was originally thinking like 'oh i could do this for an entire year and tell like a whole story and it'd be cool to see where it ends #up eventually after so long and the community kind of choosing the direction of everything!' but now its like 'well people care significant #ly less about the following polls than they did the first one so maybe not As Big Of A Thing but I do at least want to finish the current #thing going on' etc. I mean if in the next few posts it becomes More Of A Thing then it's very fluid. I could do it for longer #but with the way things are looking it's like. is it worth the time investment when i ALSO have 800 other creative projects I'm meant to be #working on?? etc. etc. ANYWAY though.. Still there will probably be at least 10 or however many more since there's still like 1-2 more days #before he even gets to the castle plus then doing things AT the place. #I want to continue his journey!!!!! I also have just felt sick and weird and so unfocused for a while eughhh.. sorry #OO I almost forgot about his injury from the fight. i had to just add it in the last moment lol.. SEE this is why I proofread 100 times #I can't edit polls so they have to be Correct the first time.. ueghhh