#who am i even kidding

[medeaaasworld]

Are we waiting for daddy dearest to show up??

#me neither #better stay dead nathan #5th chapter is coming out soon #bsb #nathan wesninski #better not post simultaneously with the sunshine court #who am i even kidding #i'll be busy reading it myself #nathaniel wesninski #neil josten #andrew minyard #aftg #all for the game #andreil #ao3 fanfic #the foxhole court #the kings men #the raven king #ao3 writer

[baronessblixen]

When It Rains

Year of the OTP June! The prompts I used are: sick fic – accidental love confession – downpour

Set in season 6, fluff with a hint of Diana angst. And a sick Mulder. Wc: 1,552

Tagging @today-in-fic

Dressed in an old t-shirt and sweatpants that are just the tiniest bit too big on her small frame, she elbows open her apartment door, a basket full of dirty laundry in her arms. In her hallway, she almost crashes into a soaking wet, swaying figure. Just as she’s about to berate him for loitering in front of her apartment, she realizes who exactly it is.

“Mulder?” she asks, setting down her basket.

“Oh hey,” he says as if surprised to see her here. In her hallway. In front of her apartment.

“You’re soaking wet,” she says, watching the puddle by his feet increase. He’s going to ruin the carpet. But there are more important things to focus on. “What happened to you?” Instead of an answer, he just sighs and shrugs. Looking more closely at him, she notices that his pupils are shot. Drunk. He has to be drunk. Right?

“It’s raining,” he says simply.

That’s the understatement of the year. They’re currently experiencing an exceptional downpour and according to meteorologists, the rain is not going to stop until the morning. One of the many reasons Scully decided to stay home this Saturday night. She’s still getting used to having weekends to herself. With the X-Files closed, more often than not, she finds herself with free time now. At least it gives her enough time to do her laundry.

“Come inside.”

“You were on your way out,” he says.

“I was just doing laundry,” she explains, trying to help him out of his leather jacket. It’s heavy with rain. “Let’s get you into the bathroom, Mulder. Take off your shoes.”

“Hm?” He’s just standing there, still swaying.

“Your shoes,” she says patiently. “Take them off.”

“Oh,” he says, staring down at his feet. “Right.”

“Were you out drinking?” It’s none of her business, she thinks. Except he came here, to her apartment. She has a right to know. The last time this happened, she found herself on a plane to Texas, and later out of a job. She shudders, remembering everything that came after. Her memory is still spotty in places. Another apartment, another hallway, and a bee. A kiss that never was. Then there’s a lot of icy darkness in her mind. Even now, months later, the frostbites sometimes nip at her when she least expects it.

“I’m not drunk,” he says, but his words are slurred.

“It’s okay, Mulder.” She tugs on his arms to get him to the bathroom, but he’s heavy, and he’s unwilling. He’s shaking his head so hard that she fears he’s going to crash into the wall.

“Not drunk,” he repeats. “I wasn’t feeling well,” he says. “I just- there were pills in the medicine cabinet. I took them. The first didn’t do anything, so I took something else.” Her alarm bells are ringing.

“What did you take?” she asks and he just shrugs.

“I thought it was Tylenol. Wait. I think the other was Benadryl. My throat was so itchy.”

“Mulder, you don’t have any allergies.”

“They make me sleepy,” he says and yawns as if to prove his point. “I take them sometimes. You said I shouldn’t take sleeping pills.” She cracks a small smile, glad that he listened to her for once.

“That’s good, Mulder. You said your throat is itchy?” He nods and as she looks closer at him, she realizes that he does look sick, not drunk. The area around his nose is pale, while his nose itself is red. She touches his cheeks and they’re warm to her touch. So is his forehead. “When did you start feeling sick?” And why didn’t you call me, she adds mentally.

“Yesterday,” he admits. “Thought I was just tired but,” he pauses and coughs. “I didn’t want to bother you. Now I’m coughing all over you, making you sick, too.”

“Mulder, if you were feeling sick yesterday it’s very likely you already infected me anyway.”

“You’re the medical doctor,” he says with a drowsy smile. He may not be drunk, but he’s definitely not sober either.

“I am,” she says with a soft smile. “That’s why you need to listen to me. We need to get you out of these wet clothes. Where’s your umbrella?”

“Didn’t bring one,” he says, letting Scully lead him toward the bathroom. “Wasn’t raining when I left. It started when I was at Diana’s.” Her fingers were just busy unbuttoning his shirt but now pause.

“Diana.” She repeats the name slowly, every letter bile on her tongue. Mulder, clueless to her emotional turmoil, nods and goes on.

“She kept hanging up on me,” he says. "I tried calling her. I didn't want to go over there."

“It’s okay, Mulder,” Scully says, distracting herself with undressing Mulder. Despite having worn a jacket, his shirt is so wet that she has to wring it out. “You don’t owe me an explanation.” But her mind is spinning. If he was at Diana’s, why is he here now? Why did he leave? Her thoughts are so out of control that she doesn’t notice Mulder tug at her t-shirt at first. He’s shirtless himself and his jeans are already unbuttoned. She’d prefer if he took his pants off himself, but he seems preoccupied with what’s happening in his head.

“I went to her apartment,” he says and Scully wishes she could just cover her ears and not hear what he has to say. No matter how childish that instinct may be. “I wanted her to listen to me. You always listen to me, Scully.” He says, touching her cheek. His skin is warm against hers and she has to stop herself from leaning into his touch.

“What did you want to tell her?” Scully asks in spite of herself.

“That she needs to stop. That she needs to listen. I’ve been trying to tell her, to explain it to her. About you.”

“About me?” Again, he nods. He breaks into a smile and she’s overwhelmed by the instinct to pinch his rosy cheeks. His hair, drying already, is sticking in every direction imaginable, making him look cuter than he should be.

“She doesn’t listen,” he repeats. “I keep trying to tell her that I- she wants things that I don’t want.” Her roaring heartbeat almost drowns out his voice.

“I went to her apartment to tell her that I love- that I love you.” Her eyes grow wide at his confession. He’s staring at her, calm as ever. “Can you believe she hung up on me?” She's not sure he realizes what he just admitted. What he confessed to her. He loves her. This isn’t the first time he’s saying it, of course. The last time wasn’t long ago. It was right after they saved him from the Bermuda Triangle. He’d been high on painkillers then, too. But she can’t deny that he’s said it twice now in about as many months.

“She said I was nuts.” He’s grinning from ear to ear now. As if Diana calling him crazy for loving Scully was the greatest compliment he could imagine. “Nothing I haven’t heard before. I stood my ground, Scully. Said I love you. Did you know that? I didn't mean to blurt it out just now, but... I love you. I needed Diana to know it, too. I needed her to understand it. You know what happened next?” She shakes her head gently, unsure whether she wants to know what he’s going to say next.

“She threw me out. Asked her for an umbrella and she slammed the door in my face.”

“I’m sorry, Mulder.”

“Is this what you always wear on weekends, Scully?” He touches the hem of her shirt and she blushes.

“Sometimes,” she says. “It’s my laundry outfit.”

“I like it. I like it a lot.”

“I think you’re delirious.”

“I think you might be right,” he admits, coughing again.

“Can you take off your jeans or do you need help?”

“I wouldn’t mind help,” he says with a grin, “but I can do it myself.”

“I’m going to get you something dry to wear,” she says, squeezing his shoulder. She uses the moment away from Mulder to take a deep breath and sort her thoughts. Tonight, she won’t contemplate what any of this means. But she knows she’ll have to hide a grin the next time she sees Diana Fowley.

When she returns to the bathroom, Mulder is naked. She averts her eyes, even though he doesn’t seem to mind. He helps her into the sweatpants and the t-shirt. When they’re done and Mulder is dressed, he smiles at her warmly.

“We're matching," he says proudly. He's right, too. "You’re not going to throw me out, are you?” he asks.

“If I did, I’d give you an umbrella.”

“Thank you, Scully.” His grin is accompanied by another cough, reminding her that it's very likely he'll feel worse in a couple of hours. She'll be there for him it that's the case. Just like she hopes he will be there for her when she catches whatever is ailing him.

He’s asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. She watches him for a moment before she presses a kiss to his forehead. I love you, too, she thinks but doesn’t dare say. Not yet, anyway.

#almost gave up on this #but like i managed six months of this #i can do another six #i wanted to write angst #who am i even kidding #msr #xf fanfic #my writing #my fic

[greencheekconure27]

#who am i even kidding #blorbo from my shows? #meme #everyone has their weaknesses #good place #is it actually a cactus? #graydon hastur #eddie munson #bodhi rook #cassian andor #and many others #blorbo #general randomness

[thekhoei]

my only slept for 3 hours and perhaps 5 mins, havent eaten anything properly, spent half the day to do maths and literature preparing for my uni exams and the other half wasted my energy to wander around ass when i see RINGO dingo bingo: IM FULL AWAKE AND WELL FED

#ringo starr #richard starkey #I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND #he cures me #if he doesnt come to my graduation then im not coming #who am i even kidding #please save me Lord of the rings

[cappurrccino]

daydreaming about getting/having a doctorate, so I expect to get catastrophically sad and overwhelmed with regret later

#//juri speaks #sometimes i walk across campus and *feel* faculty-ey instead of like an imposter who looks like a freshman #and then i think “what if.........” #what if i moved to arizona and got several degrees in planetary science #girl i cannot even bring myself to go through a drive thru bc it involves talking to a person #who am i even kidding #what i need is for my application for here to be accepted so i can bounce my dumb ideas off an advisor #''i want to take these classes to be more accesible for patrons HOWEVER #i also want to dip my toes back into math and physics and geology so show me any of those that are late or online pls'' #angle for a subject librarian position maybe and maybe also for eventually moving to AZ #getting a job at one of the bajillion space libraries there #and continue picking away at space studies #maybe i'll be done with school and figure out what i want to do in like 30 years

[a-star-is-here]

Imagine listening to a single artist on repeat for days on end.

Couldn’t be me.

#who am i even kidding #yes that's me #with Jann currently #and Conan Gray #and Hoshi #and Ben Platt #I have every right

[xanvasofxords]

The west wins the game of hypocrisy without any competition. As a western citizen, I feel absolutely ashamed how they make no protest against countries like Russia or China for human rights, while are butthurt over a muslim country not allowing an irrelevant object in the game. Qatar isn't all innocent either, but it's astonishing how people are more concerned about an armband than those who lost their lives.

#not even a muslim but its absolutely disgusting how the west only tries to play the hero against muslim countries #and acts blind and deaf to all other parts of the world where human rights are being violated #who am i even kidding #just watching how far they can fall #qatar world cup #world cup 2022 #world cup #qatar world cup 2022 #qatar wc 2022 #anti hypocrisy

[loisiru]

Mmhmmmm it’s been a while since the last time i put my art here-

#who am i even kidding #last time was two and a half years ago and then i dipped 💀 #i do have some recent and (quite?) old art i guess #still debating on whether i'm gonna post them or not

[feluka]

oh god shut up. you didn't even know the damn kid.

"The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe, and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality." — James Baldwin

#i am honestly not even sure who you're referring to #the most recent child deaths i've reblogged are #nex benedict (the nonbinary kid murdered at school) and hind rajab #if you can't see why either of these should shatter your heart without personally knowing them #then you're entirely beyond any hope #asks #edit: this was about hind.

[antaresr]

#I don't feel my thumbs #I'm sorry to all those people who I gave a boop to and they didn't even know who I am #anyway #Follow me for more stupid memes and Yu-Gi-Oh analysis #and headcanons #just kidding #boop #gravity falls #meme #april fool's day

[hansoeii]

it’s okay, babygirl.

#who's gonna pay my therapy bills #this show ruins me over and over again every week why am i even doing this to myself #but ahhhh joel loves her so much!!!! #thats his kid!!!! #and he was so afraid of caring for her but he can't hide it any longer #UGH #the last of us #the last of us fanart #tlou hbo #tlou fanart #pedro pascal #bella ramsey #joel and ellie #my art

[twinstxrs]

so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #ruben hopclap #lucy frostblade #the rat grinders #adaine abernant #kipperlilly copperkettle #watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don���t even know if he’s guilty!!!! #this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk #like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was #what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god #my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season #the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands #also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally- #changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk #but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up #they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here #there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows #the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!! #anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance

[abowlofcurry]

finally going home for vacation!

#who am i even kidding #exams are way too close

[nerves-nebula]

i love to see people who are like "you can talk about csa but not around minors that's gross!" like idk how to tell you this but. who do you think is getting csa'd. i'll give you a hint: the first letter in csa does not stand for "adult"

#nnstuff #was browsing the tmnt competition cuz i havent paid attention to it much #and that anon made me laugh #that anon was prolly a kid too but like still. its funny. i dont blame them for thinking that #i just think its funny is all #anyway good on the mod for being very level headed about stuff #they're doing a good job and i'm proud of them even if it's not how i'd handle things- cuz i am an adult who is used to talking about CSA #and they're a kid who is clearly uncomfortable with it and definitely could've responded way worse than they did #csa tw

[apathyfairy]

last year i found a wii at goodwill for 25 dollars and it came with everything except a wiimote but it was in such good condition i was like hell yeah ill take it how hard can it be to find a wiimote. the answer is it's nearly impossible to find them at thrift stores now so i've spent like 8 months looking for ones in thrift stores but there wasn't a single one and then online but i just couldn't bring myself to spend 30 dollars on one single wiimote so i waited so. patiently. and then 2 weeks ago i finally found one at goodwill for 9 dollars but it was absolutely disgusting and the battery cover was missing and the compartment was all corroded so i put it back and regretted it the whole week but then this last weekend i went to savers and there was an absolutely perfect wiimote just sitting there with no corrosion and a jacket and the wrist strap and motion plus and the nunchuck was there too and i got it all for 10 dollars so the moral of the story is that sometimes things seem right for you in the moment but you have to recognize that they aren't and leave them behind so the things that are meant for you will in fact find you when the time is right. peace and love <3

#for real though im so happy i cant even lie like i regretted selling my wii soooooo much but anyway im back baby <3 #im disinfecting everything rn bc i have a germ problem but once it it's done.....i am SO back #when i first got it i didnt have the remote right so i couldnt plug it in and make sure that it worked but i did just plug it into an outle #to make sure it ran and it did and wii sports resort popped out of the drive so thats fun bc i didnt have that one #and anyway i might cry when i hear the menu sound ngl ngl. #but the city i live in is like an overgrown retirement home and so the goodwill is full of old people things and this wii had stickers #like explaining which cord was which so i just know it was a wii that they bought for like grandmas house and only played it when they were #over there so anyway cant wait to see what's on there and if the news channel and weather channel are still on the homepage even though #i dont think they work anymore lol #also shoutout to the type a kid who kept their wiimote in such perfect condition that i wanted to cry when i saw it sitting on the shelf #ty <3

[quirkyeggmuffin-art-blog]

This blew up on twitter and I’m still not over it 💀

Original reference djfbsk

#whyyy??? I didn’t even put that much effort into this thing!! #oh who am I kidding I’d add to those numbers too if I was a random passerby seeing this on my TL ;-; #kinitopet #kinito fanart #kinito the axolotl #kinito my beloved #doodle