Not Mine To Keep
The first time Arthur came to Merlin's shop, he looked so out of place, unsure of what to do. Merlin guessed he was either too "manly" to be seen buying flowers, or a rich prat who never had to buy his gifts himself. Neither were exactly wrong guesses. He felt bad for the woman the man was buying the flowers for.
They had a rather unpleasant encounter that day and Merlin was sure the man would never, ever come anywhere near the shop again, and would probably tell everyone he knew not to buy from there either. So it was a surprise when he saw the other man again. He said that while the employees were rude, the place unfortunately had the best flowers around. Of course, that would be a better excuse if the man actually bought any flowers that time.
After that, it became a regular thing, Arthur visiting once a week. At first, he asked questions about flowers, then it turned into them chatting, insulting each other sometimes and joking, laughing.
Merlin knew he shouldn't, but he was sad and depressed when the man – Arthur, he learnt – stopped coming. He was worried when Arthur didn't show up for two weeks in a row, but weeks turned into months and he accepted that the other man had probably just grown bored of their little conversations.
And then, he just showed up. Merlin welcomed him as he would any other customer, tried not to stare or ask demand an explanation as to why he just vanished. But he knew he had no right to, they were two strangers having casual conversation, that was all. If Merlin had feelings for that gorgeus blond man who turned out to be actually funny and charming, then it was his problem alone.
Arthur stayed silent for some time, and he seemed nervous, god knows why. He looked at his hands, the flowers, the walls and anywhere other than at Merlin. Just as the silence started to be too much and Merlin thought maybe he should say something, Arthur opened his mouth.
"I had things to deal with. Things to arrange. Both personal and business issues." Merlin wanted to say there was no need for explanation, but was too shocked by Arthur's next words to say anything. "I am sorry."
Arthur Pendragon did not apologize. He would show that he was sorry, but never put it into words.
But Merlin had to talk, because the man was looking at him, obviously waiting for an answer. "Oh, um... O-ok." What he wanted to say was: why do you look like a kicked puppy? "It's fine, life gets busy sometimes." That seemed to ease Arthur's mind, if the smile that formed on his lips was any proof. His beautiful lips, how nice it would be to kiss them. Oh for god's sake! Merlin had to get rid of those thoughts.
"Well, is there anything you want? If you aren't going to buy anything, I can get you a chair, but you're blocking the way. Though I don't think I can talk much, there's a big order I need to prepare." He didn't mean to sound harsh, didn't want Arthur to leave, but it was hard to go back to how they used to be. Maybe in a week, he would stop wondering what the personal matters he had to arrange were.
"Actually... I want to. I'm here for a bouquet."
Oh... Ok then. That was unexpected. Merlin remined himself that there was nothing for him to be sad about.
"Ok, which one?" He showed the bouquets that were prepared for customers to choose from. It helped them to see how the thing would look before purchasing, it and was faster to have some made up already when it was busy. And if they didn't sell, Merlin took them to the local hospital to give someone a little smile. "Or do you want a custom made one?"
"A custom one. But I was hoping you could help me choose the flowers." Arthur twisted the end of the ribbon on the counter around his finger.
"Sure, it is my job." Stop being so nervous, Merlin told himself firmly. "What kind of bouquet do you want?" He didn't want to know but he had to ask.
"To show... Something that says 'You are important to me' and 'I think of you all the time.'"
Merlin's heart hurt so much he was afraid he wouldn't be able to hide it. It was no surprise the bouquet was for Arthur's lover, but he would never have expected Arthur could say such things. He must really love her. "And 'I wish to spend more time with you.'" Arthur looked at Merlin for the first time since he had entered the shop that day. Merlin wished he wouldn't. "And..." Please, enough, go tell those things to her yourself. I don't want to hear them! "'I love you.'"
Merlin turned his back, knowing he should be happy that Arthur had found someone he loved. Arthur often talked about the girls his father threw his way and how he never had any feelings at all, at least most of the time. Whenever that happened, Merlin thought about Arthur's first visit to his shop, the bouquet he'd bought, but he couldn't bring himself to ask who it had been for.
"I'll make something." He bit his lip while choosing the flowers. Merlin stared at the bright lamp to prevent the tears from falling down his cheeks. He didn't want to make a fast and simple bouquet just to get away from the situation. It was important to Arthur, and if Merlin couldn't be happy for him, at least he could do his job right.
After who knew how long, he had the flowers ready. "Here, I hope she likes them."
But Arthur did not reach out to take them.
"I hope he does," he said instead. "Keep them, please. They're for you."
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Look… I drew that in November. Then when I was posting, I realized I forget to add the bouquet and since then it is waiting to be posted in my wip folder. Not even wip! I put that in completed folder cause like, it was mostly done. I wanted to pick flowers with correct meanings. I gave up and just drew a pretty bouqute cause it is better than never finishing it. Please pretend they have suitable meanings to what Arthur wanted to say.
I wasn't planning to write something that long! Wow.
Edit: I posted it to ao3 too. Here is the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48305071
Flowershop AU for @merlinbingo
art by @artstelle
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