#yes I have a marketings degree. no I dont know how to market my own stuff. we exist.

[genia-caliber]

Hello everyone, I posted a new fic! (tw death from old age)

It's a bit angstier than usual but I really enjoyed writing it.

The early reviews are in and it seems people liked it 😌

if you also think being sad can be fun, I hope you'll read it and enjoy!

#sxf #sxf fanfic #spy x family #twiyor #trying to do some sort of self promotion here #I dont know how to promote my stuff though LOL I have added my fics to my pinned #but its still like... how do I tell people to read my fics... #yes I have a marketings degree. no I dont know how to market my own stuff. we exist. #also I know some of the people who posted comments also follow me on here I cropped the usernames lol #just in case you didn't want to be Known. but know that I have internet kissed you on the mouth for commenting #listen. people enjoy what I write. if you also enjoy reading things then boy do I have good news for you #my posts #my fics #also how do people even promote fics on Tumblr idk how it works LMAO

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 9: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll helped The Adventurer build his raft...

"After two hours of fumbling about with tangled rope and tree branches, he's finally produced something that at least.. mostly, looks like a normal raft. He attaches a few extra flowers for decoration, loops his cat into a makeshift safety harness (so they can't get lost in the water), then gives everything one last check before deciding it's all ready to go, nervously pushing off into the river...

Surprisingly, it floats just fine. As long as he doesn't make any sudden movements, the raft doesn't threaten to flip over, or even wobble nearly as much as he expected. There's no way to really steer or paddle, but he does have a large stick he occasionally uses to push himself away from rocks or other obstacles. Luckily, the current is very slow at this section of the river, and hopefully will remain so for his entire trip.

Just lazily floating around, he estimates he should travel about 4 hours to fully get past the blocked road and end up at the next area on his map. Though the raft is too small (and too lumpy) to comfortably lay on, he can still recline slightly, bathing in the near afternoon sun, watching the scenery slowly drift by....

About 30 minutes into his first ever sailing adventure, he feels the water shift as a larger boat comes near. He can't see it clearly yet, but it seems to be nice - polished wood with painted sections and little flags draped along the sides, presumably some sort of actual steering and propelling mechanisms, and about 10 people lounging on the surface, maybe having some sort of party..? It's been very quiet so far, these are the first other travelers he's seen in the entire area today... Should he attempt to make contact with them? "

--------

Additional details -

Boat Make-up : Based on the results of the last poll (where people helped him make a boat by choosing the amount of materials) -- With 30% branches and 21% rope, there's only a 9% difference between them, so both are in pretty close amounts, which means there's a TON of rope. (normal ratio would be like 65% wood and 10% rope lol). I probably should have even added more, but it's so visually busy, just pretend there's extra rope wrapped under the boat too.

30% branch and 15% fabric means there's about half as much fabric as there is wood, which is also A LOT for just a little side decoration, so I made the flag huge, and a square of fabric for the cat to sit on. 10% berries means that there's enough ink for 1/3 of the wood to be entirely covered in purple designs. The least amount was the twigs and leaves for padding, which would cover a little under 1/3 of the wood (laid on top). then a little over 1/3 of the space is flowers for decor, which are just kind of sitting in a pile on top, with a few actually tied down onto the flag or other areas.

Since the branches were pretty close in percentage to all other things (not like 80% branches and 20% all other materials), the raft is fairly small, as not much wood was used.

main goal: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

#paventure posting #polls #choose your own adventure #hghnhh... yes.. this is very late lol #I'm trying for every other day at least if not daily but.. you know lol.. Life #It snowed here which like YEAAAAAAA my favorite weather ever!! but it's also always annoying because of transportation #I hate how car-centric america is and how it's no necessary to drive to get places #I loooooove the snow so much but I also hate driving in it or anyone I know or any of my roomates or anything having to drive #in it. because the day after it snows everything always freezes into a flat sheet of ice at night and nobody can drive on it #because this area is not used to it and it's very hilly so then it just ends up being A Thing where everyone gets stranded on the #road side or cant make it up a hill and people are just out there sliding around anyway risking their lives #because everyting is always like a 20-30 minute drive away and most poeple cant just walk to their work or the market #and the public transport system is not robust or reliable enough to get them around instead. #which lukcily I dont have to deal with too much but every time it gets really snowy and icy I still get nervous and unfocused and #distracted by the threat of the possibility of me or my roomates having to go somewhere lol #and then also I'm busy outside because I spend time in the snow on and off through the day so I get distracted by that too #I've probably walked an hour a day or more the past few days just because I HAVE to go out and be in the snow #I love the feeling when it's like 26 degrees outside and it's windy and yersterday's snow is like blowing everywhere in little clouds #and there's like ice on your face and you can just plop down into a pile of snow and lay on your back looking up at the sky #Which I do try to be careful but I probably will stil lget frostbite at some point in my life. I take it seriously and try to bundle up but #I cannot resist just being out in the cold. If not for the aspect of trasnportation woes and the occasional power outage it would #be paradise. I think because I'm so warm natured I just feel less sick. less achey. less dizzy and weird when I'm cold #Whatever health things I have going on with me it seems to help them. And is just beautiful and perfect #ANYWAY.. I finally focused enough to get one of these done. I'm still trying to work on other things and ease back into a normal #schedule if I ever can.. be productive for once. The past month or two has been so weird and hard to accomplish things because I just #keep having physical issue flare ups or schedule disruptions or etc. hhrghghh #but here he is! on his boat! Still trying to get to the Innkeeper's brother's abandoned castle ruins lol. but it was mentioned #it'll be a long journey. he probably has to make it a few more days before he's close to there (if he even makes it there) #It's all part of the journey!

[hshouse]

love the goals and planning talk! one of my favorite subjects and very rarely people want to talk about it. so here i am to ask for some opinions/advice for you and your anons as well. bear in mind im 22 so im butting in the post-25 talk.

i got a job that im supposed to start in august (fresh out of graduation yay!) and it's a good salary, so im start to plan my goals for the next few years.

my biggest medium/long term goal is to buy an apartment (to give the first deposit at least), so i want to save money for that in the first place. but im struggling with how to organize my finances for other goals such as: living on my own (i current sublet a room and being with other people annoy me a lot gisjfjsl, learning how to drive (not absolutely necessary but public transportation here is shit so i think it's a good ideia), and starting a master degree/specialization (not sure which subject yet, i need to study the market i am in better to see what will help me). i also need to create an emergency reserve so there's that.

i dont know how to prioritize these!!! like from one side i want to save as much money as i can for the apartment, but i also need to think of other things too. such as rent an apartment for a while to have more quality of life and not having to live with other people, etc etc

do you have any rec on how to save money for each thing or how to select what's more important?

i know specialists say you shouldnt spend more than 30% of your income in rent but that's where my personal finance knowledge goes.

anyway sorry about the long message i love to talk about this

Hi bby,

I’m 23!!! I have thoughts lmao. I think quality of life in terms of where you live is absolutely essential to being happy. I hated living w roommates. So yeah do I pay wayyy too much in rent and could be using that money to save? Yes. But also I need to balance my tomorrow with my today. My own little quiet apartment brings me more happiness than I can describe. So I’d focus on looking for an apartment and saving for the deposit (1 rent) + the first month rent which is what you usually have to pay up front.

Second to me would be the emergency funds. I’d also make sure to open a credit card w a large limit. Not to go crazy, but it is EXTREMELY helpful to know that if you get dropped a 4k bill from a hospital you have a credit card to put on. It’s not ideal obvs but my amex has brought me great feeling of security. Plus it helps your credit if you use it properly.

Saving for the apt is about discipline. You should open a second savings account and have a direct deposit set up to it for every pay check. It truly can start with $100 if thats what you can spare. The consistency is what will bring it home. You should aim to save 20% of the price of the apt you want to buy. This will allow you to get a good mortgage with, repeat with me, FIXED rate. F I X E D.

I can’t drive so lmao no clue how long it takes nor how useful it is.

Then the masters. Be very very careful when choosing to do this. The V A S T majority of masters are useless and are cash grabs by unis to fund their undergrad. So at this point in life (where we are not swimming in money) I’d only do a MA if you are sure you *need* it for your career (like therapists need one to practice etc).

[elysicndrcvm]

━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )

     well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado: 

so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.

he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals. 

he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age. 

he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue. 

his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes. 

obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf. 

showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places. 

very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd. 

awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world. 

his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers. 

studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up. 

despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf. 

real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf. 

has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself. 

he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade. 

does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out. 

cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away. 

bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that. 

#dallyeog:intro #i'm literally in love with him he's the softest most goodest boi muse i have ever made and i just #im that meme of the samari sword guy with the cat in his arms akfkfk #IVE ONLY HAD EUNHA FOR TWO DAYS BUT IF ANYONE HURTS HIM I WILL KILL THEM AND THEN MYSELF AKKDK

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

jobs rant:

so i follow my area’s local job board on facebook, right. there’s this girl around my age (23) I think, who constantly posts about urgently needing “any type of job” in retail or a job in beauty therapy/hairdressing etc bc she’s got the qualifications in those fields. but it’s not her posts that annoy me (bc feels girl) but the people that comment on them, because a load of baby boomers hop on the post and say the following things:

(1.) boomer 1:“look here, you stupid girl, stop whinging! go hand out your resume in shops and meet them!” 

problem 1). hmm yeah go fuck yourself Martha. loads of people my age attest to doing what Martha suggested and get told to “just go apply online, we don’t take hard copy resumes!” or they spend whole days handing out resumes with only one shop taking them  bc they had a sign in the window. but does Martha listen to that? nope.

(2.) boomer 2: “how about you go in and ask for some work experience for 3 days a week, and offer to do it for free or like $5 an hour?” 

problem 2.) your suggestion is literally fucking illegal in Australia, Tessa, unless it’s part of a tafe or uni course (and you either don’t get paid or you get decently paid (hopefully) paid work experience). 

(3.) boomer 3 sometimes also in response to boomer/problem 2:  “oh but the above shows your initiative! because you’re not seeing a problem, but a solution! there’s only solutions! just stop bitching and start at the bottom just like all the others before you. you entitled brat.”

problem 3.) ??? no, Marcus, you fuck, I actually need fair pay and a real fucking job. getting either severely underpaid or not paid at all is NOT A SOLUTION, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. EVEN IF IT IS JUST FOR EXPERIENCE. IT’S NOT SHOWING INITIATIVE IF I’M BEING USED AS FREE FUCKING LABOUR!!!!! HOW THE HELL ARE PEOPLE WHO LIVE OUT OF HOME SUPPOSED TO PAY THEIR BILLS OR RENT WITH VERY LITTLE PAY OR NO PAY AT ALL????!!!!! GO EAT SHIT FROM YOUR OWN BOTTOM MATE, IF WE’RE STARTING FROM THERE.”

(4.) boomer 4: how about you just pawn your stuff off then, you spoilt brat?” / just apply for maccas/or another fast food place!”

problem 4.) you see, Leanne, i’m in the midst of applying for several fucking grad positions (which f.y.i are proper jobs outside of uni) and several other fucking jobs, including unpaid internships. i’ve applied to some fast food places before, and they’ve told me directly that they DO NOT WANT ME AT ALL bc it’s far easier and cheaper for them to employ a 15/16 year old, than employing a 23yo who actually knows what they should be paid, and not a kid who doesn’t know anything about fair work and wages. also as someone with a degree and a diploma etc, they straight up tell me i’m too overqualified and that i’ll expect too much pay so they don’t want me bc of that. also what fuck is this pawning my stuff off bullshit??? what the actual FUCK does that have to do with this??? 

(5.) boomer 5: “the job market isn’t insecure you imbecile, only you are because you obviously can’t get a job like that! learn to be more confident and maybe you’ll get one. stop being soooooo needy, and one will find you! look for more opps!” 

problem 5.) the job market isn’t insecure, Brenton? sure you can fucking say that when you’re a boomer who refuses to leave their fucking job. that’s fucking rich. but be more confident and a job will find you??? really?? thanks for the absolute bullshit mate. i’m done here. actually i’m not done! what the fuck is this “stop being sooooo needy” bs??? i’m sorry that i need some meagre ass fucking money to literally fucking survive in this horrendous capitalist hellscape you helped create, Brenton. look for more opportunities??? mate i’ve applied to like 300 bs “opportunities” nearly all of which exploit young workers to the fullest extent. hell, a good bulk of them i dont even have the quals or requirements for! ALSO, MOST OF THEM ARE INTERNSHIPS AND THEY’RE MOSTLY UNPAID OR ONLY PAID FOR ONE DAY A WEEK!! (so only $300). just.... now im done. go fuck yourself.

boomer 6: “go get a useful qualification (to attack uni/college etc quals) or *insert some other work related thing like an responsible service of alcohol (RSA) & RCG (responsible conduct of gambling or w/e it is) card here or a barista course here* or if you can’t afford it, save for it maybe??? if you’ve been to uni maybe you’d have the sense to know that much????”

problem 6.) honestly every millennial is sick of hearing this Mildred. no qualification is guaranteed to get you a job anymore, you hack. but also.... but have you ever considered how expensive an RSA or an RCG is or a combined one is??? (for reference a combined rsa&rcg in my state, new south wales, is $240)  or even a barista course???? (again for reference a barista course is anywhere between $120-$200)... like im sure for people who are living out of home, that their rent and bills are far, far more important to pay than some bullshit courses that cost like half of their fucking rent money. 

boomer 7: GO VOLUNTEER! YOU LEARN AMAZING NEW SKILLS (blah blah blah)!!!”

problem 7.) ok Mick, yes i know volunteering is a good thing.... i practically had its “importance” forcefully shoved down my throat at uni.... but consider this: only those who have some spare money around can typically afford this option, because it’s largely not paid. and if it is paid, you don’t get paid much.... but of course that all depends on the provider. you can go on about all the new skills you get from volunteering all day fucking long. but like. for most “millennials”, as you condescendingly call us, it is not fucking feasible if they have literally ZERO funds, like myself. i couldn’t afford to do the volunteer blogger position i tried to do at uni. so i ultimately gave it up.

honestly, the only boomers or maybe gen xers (who knows really) that i like who comment on these posts, are the ones who commiserate with us jobless 20-somethings about their teenage or sometimes fellow 20-something son/s or daughter/s trying to get a job.... but always getting rejected bc of their complete lack of experience (i.e. they have none) or whatever else.  

anyway that’s my dramatic rant of the month of january over lmao.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona whines about her shitty life to her followers lol #ilona actually shares her life for once lol #but seriously though #i hate these people so much

[incarnateirony]

Omg

People need to stop using what they think are intellectual arguments to try to shade at shit while COMPLETELY MISUSING IT.

Example: There was a cross in the reunion episode!

Okay, great, let’s look at all the other uses of crosses. Oh look, episodes about faith, faith, faith, faith, faith, and faith. Right after not believing in anything, not backshadowing him with the cross, reuniting, and then having the cross, only to later confirm he now has faith.

Thing someone thinks is occam’s razor: It could mean anything any time and at any moment could mean something totally different without any regard to the base themes being employed literally every time. It could just mean resurrection like jesus!

What’s actually occam’s razor: The cross is tied to faith theme episodes. Like, I don’t know. The episode Faith.

Y’all stop. It’s like arguing from an angle of belligerently intentional ignorance.

And losing your patience with people who have no idea what they’re talking about downtalking at people who know what they’re talking about, after fucking up and making their own bed to begin with while they stomp around like a child and get other angry bitter people stomping with them to make a fuss -- getting annoyed, at any point, is in no way the sign of being the More Logical Person. Sometimes you’re so illogical you piss everybody around you that knows what’s up, off. See: Kelios. 

If your only victory point is staying calm while you piss off people that know better, you’re not smarter. You’re just annoying. You know how there’s that “annoying stupid Republican” idea floating around out there where they just can’t say anything without being annoying or infuriating? It started somewhere. And it’s not because Someone Lost To Them. It’s because ain’t nobody got the time for their Headass.

PS: It’s not “stuck up” to cite your actual career, education, or whatever else after already being driven up a wall by a bunch of bitter fansplaining from people who can’t grasp concepts like the above. If someone’s talking on an elementary school level to a person who works in an industry, the person will first gently tell them how it works, and when the child starts kicking and huffing and throwing insults, will call a parent, but if no parent’s available, they get “you’ll understand when you grow up” and that’s essentially what’s happening here.

Being intentionally fucking numbskulled about things because someone wants to be bitter and act like they understand a business, when they literally do not understand the business, and have shown they do not know the business, and continue to insist to yell down at people that know about the business, eventually makes people who know the business go “You do know I’ve done this for a living and you’re totally on crack, right?”

If all of the people with Actual Experience are saying a thing, maybe you should stop trying to Fansplain or Hobbysplain shit to them and actually consider adjusting your perspective instead of acting entitled all the time. 

Imagine trying to be a trainee in a workplace with this attitude.

Machinist: Okay, these are the lathe codes. Just use these, and avoid this one.

Trainee: What’ll happen if I enter this instead.

Machinist: Don’t, that jams up the machine for some reason.

Trainee: That doesn’t make any sense! You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Machinist: Look, kid. Just don’t. If anything goes wrong, hit this emergency stop button.

Trainee: I’ve read online that some of those buttons break the machine

Machinist: I... look. Hit emergency stop if anything goes wrong.

Trainee: Don’t tell me what to do.

Machinist: I been working here 30 years kid.

Trainee: That doesn’t matter, you’re just pulling the experience card, I’m skilled too.

Machinist: .....

[ 2 hours later Trainee punches in code he’s told not to and bores at a bad angle and burns out a multi-hundred-thousand-dollar machine because he didn’t use emergency stop, loses his job ]

Ask me how I know a story like this, while we’re at it.

Frankly, no. Alone, a degree doesn’t count for a whole lot. There’s an assload of educated idiots that manage a passing grade and then never see the profession in the real world. But when the people who have been out there, in the real world, dealing in an area, are telling you what they know, maybe you should give it some consideration. But when that degree is, say, a double degree lit professor, or that degree is someone in marketing that’s also run all levels of the actual industry for years on end, maybe they might know a little something about something that your basic lit course or bitterness aren’t taking into account.

Apologies to you, random blogger #89234 with an interest in a thing, but if the accumulated hobby information you’ve collected is outright in conflict (see machinist example) of How Things Actually Work, you cease being a supreme authority, and if you start acting like a little prick about it to people who actually know the ropes, well -- we can’t fire you from the internet (as appealing as that sounds at times), but we can deadass tell you “you have no idea what you’re talking about.” HOW DO U KNOW “BECAUSE I’VE DONE THIS FOR A LIVING.” HUrRruUrURRRr thAT donT meaN anyTHING

Yes, yes it does. It means I’ve been there, I’ve watched things be set up, be destroyed, transition, be debated over, been in the heart of it. It means I’ve watched friends lose their gigs and get sidelined and others take off so hard we barely maintain contact anymore. It means I’ve had to listen to marketing groups piss and moan over working titles because it’s not X enough for Y demographic (you want to know a pain in the ass? marketing test group runs for pagan mythology LGBT friendly content in a southern religious conservative region --and you know what, I can release that, because it’s mine and a discontinued project now; unlike, say, if one of us happened to land at a CW/SPN marketing test group somewhere and happened to have to sign an NDA about what they were polling about).

It means I watch when a TPTB family member posts in a private facebook group and it means I talk to the sound dev crews about how they make certain things -- not some one off room-mating or the occasional DM or whatever, because we can all talk actual shop and not fanbuzz; in fact, I’ve BEEN a roommate people tried to get stuff out of and they probably walked away thinking they were super in-the-know while there’s a thousand things I didn’t/couldn’t say but they’d never know; and it means I know which of my fandoms have shared PAs you guys never knew by name; it means they can actually break out about the kind of lenses and audio devices they used to perform a certain shot and the abstract methods they attained it and I can actually come back with a suggestion that doesn’t embarrass both of us to sit out there in the air; it means I know how to appeal to a shifting demographic and discuss the problems in limited circulation.

 It means that I know how the gears of a machine work and don’t just sit from the outside going “well maybe it’s-” no, it’s this, this, and that. No, you don’t get to pontificate what you think Actually Is In It when I literally know What Is In It. That isn’t how reality works. Well you can, but the reality of it is that no, your opinion or Hot Take(TM) aren’t equal. I don’t care if you’ve gone to teaparties with them, I really don’t. 

The quickest way to get someone from a creative team to disengage from actual content conversation and instead feeding you fluff is when you obviously have no idea of the machinations involved and are coming as a fan or hobbyist. You don’t think people can tell the difference. You think you sound like you’re exceptional. But when you open your mouth it takes about two seconds for us to know. 

I can turn a regional studio owner’s ear in the middle of a freaking dollar general by saying a few things; or a major music producer; why? Because we’ve been there. And we’ve been there long enough when y’all try to come up talking like you know shit.

Reality: You don’t. I don’t care how many clickbait articles someone has written. I literally have 0% care for how much public facing PR you’re fed. Or anything you think is non-public facing that they were willing to give You, the general You, a fandomite or hobbyist or yes, reporter. Hell, the latter list of LOL tends to think X rando directing assistant or whatever will have All The Secrets at a business level. Thing is, when I was any kind of PA or adjacent, I sure as hell didn’t delude myself into knowing everything going on above my head, just what I needed to know. Do it long enough and yes, you learn the business mechanics themselves but no one person beyond the upper executives is gonna know everything. Each knows what their job specification is.

Frankly, again I say, if you want to really know what’s going on, you check out what marketing is polling, because that’s what Big Business is putting in discussion, and really, that’s that. Then again, if you get into the groups, enjoy that NDA, and not being able to tell anybody about anything about it, and just waving your arms emphatically about an idea that people try to lol about.

Am I talking SPN? Am I talking something else I worked on or attended or know about? In the end, does that really matter? 

Not all topics come down specifically to experience and expertise within a subject, but some do, and if you’re out here acting like a twidiot over it, eventually, the people who work in it go, “look y’all bless your heart but we actually do this, so sit down?”

Nobody’s saying you CAN’T meta or lit crit without a degree or experience, but if you’re out there being a shady fuck towards people who literally know what they’re doing, with minimal to no actual substance to your shade, just convenience to those who want to believe you, then yes. The people who actually know what they’re doing > the people that don’t and are just ass speaking  or throwing “what ifs” or “it could bes” on hunches regardless of the follower counts attached.

A lot of people do good meta or spec without a degree or experience, because they just have a good reading and, I don’t know, understand what shit like Occam’s Razor actually means. It’s not mandatory. But if you’re about to start swinging on someone, son, just because you’re piloted by bitterness and aren’t even thinking to 1+1 this charade, you should probably check your narcissism points if you’re butting off at-random against people who do have experience and a fairly synchronized understanding.

Or at least more than piss-poor long-disjointed sub-par disembodied and fractal arguments that sum to nothing, their captain wank planet forces combined.

There’s a pillar or two of meta and Destiel meta fandom I avoid like the plague because I can read it’s pure fluff and completely uncorroborated with an actual basic application of Occam’s Razor. That doesn’t mean I spend my time shading them or dragging their crap out or picking fights with them or just being a bitch about it on my blog.

A few people could learn from that.

#mildew #long post for ts

[peechugger-blog]

Her friend, "gave her sex toys"

Her friend, "gave her sex toys" and she was on her way, waking at 6am each morning in order to hit American-internet primetime. She hopped from studio to studio, at times living with her employers (and their unwanted advances), still far enough from self-sufficiency that she had to depend on them for support. One had a wife who insulted her constantly. She had to work, almost every day, on strict, long, tiring shifts, doing the same performances over and over and over again. She was an urbanite, but she was still a poor stripper in a small room. When one studio boss lost all of his money and had to move in with a friend, Anna had to go along, having lost her room, board and virtually all of her possessions.It is true that when I am up on stage I feel powerful. In my 7-inch heels and latex leotards and frilly skirts, my body feels beautiful in a way that I dont see it in everyday life, and I feel confident and empowered. When the music comes on, I go with it, when I dance it is natural and its fun. The money is ultimately what I am here for, but this isnt just something I do just to pay the rent. This is my art, and whilst I am making myself sexually desirable, nobody can objectify me, as I hold that power. I am in control, because I objectify myself, if you like.Studio 20 is the largest studio webcam franchise in the world. It has nine branches in Romania, including one employing "cam-boys" who service the gay market. Its other branches are in the Colombian city of Cali, Budapest and Los Angeles. There are still big ticket European customers these days, men who Anna is reluctant to call "addicted", but "spend more time... you need to entertain those people who are going to stay for hours and hours in your room, even if they finished what they came for — they want to get to know you. Either way, camming keeps Anna in comfy sweatpants and Fanta.

If abuse were such a big problem, Anna says, then why would any Romanian girls bother with it at all? Why wouldn't they just find some other job? In a country whose GDP only stopped shrinking two years ago, with 20 per cent of the population living below the poverty line and personal income levels far below Kazakhstan, Iran and Gabon, that question answers itself. There's a reason Anna's so happy to be independent from her former employers, a status she equates with nothing less than her "freedom".Sites do virtually nothing to curb or discourage this kind of treatment.I was shocked and cut the conversation short because a) I felt like I didnt need to deal with such negative bullshit and b) I needed to get ready for my next show. But her words lingered in my mind all night. The moment that somebody questions my stance on feminism I get overwhelmingly upset, as it is a cause that I put my heart and soul into. It is in everything that I do and say and it is in how I perceive the world. Feminism has come to be in every essence of my being, and having somebody question my core beliefs was incredibly jarring."I teach them about fetishes - what a fetish is, why a person has one… We study Freud and a lot of psychology. And we study a book of gestures because women must be sensual, smart and beautiful.

Yes, they work even when they have their periods. This model says she fortunately has "the world's shortest, lightest periods" so she just chooses to do shows that don't require her to remove her underwear while wearing a tampon and then occasionally takes a day off if she feels like it. Makes sense.Being a cam girl, specifically, can be a great option for sex workers because it’s a lot safer than when you are with a client in person. Cam girls still have to protect themselves, of course; making sure people can’t find out their addresses or real names. Those are things that workers in all facets of the sex industry have to worry about, whether you’re a stripper or an escort. But cam girls have the privilege of working from their homes or a studio, where they don't have that threat of violence or diseases. Or they just don’t have to deal with a client having bad breath.Today, things are different. After saving money and learning enough savvy to avoid continued exploitation, Anna is done with money-sucking studios, and so she works only about five days a month, from her own home. Five days of camming per month allow her to match the Romanian per capita income of roughly $US12,000 per year with a minuscule fraction of the labour. If she wants more money, she works more days.It took six years to reach this life of dilettantism and occasional sex work. Anna wasn't always free. She started camming when she moved from her backwater Romanian hometown to attend college in Bucharest for a degree in psychology. When she relocated, she knew no one and had no money. But, like Domino, heard things about the lucrative streaming flesh trade — a recommendation from a male friend who convinced her to strip from his cramped two-room apartment as he did the same in the other room. CONTINUED BELOW...

[yanjunmyworld]

When This Story Ends

Pairing: Yanjun x OC

Gif: linyanjun8

Genre: fluff, supernatural

A/N: i was inspired after watching the 2018 little mermaid movie. Its such a good new take on the story if you havent seen it you should check it out! I hope you like this story! Dont forget to leave some feedback ^^.

The bustling crowds paraded through the old market of Tianzifang, looking for whatever unique presents they could take home to their lovers and families. Little did anyone know that down one of the alleyways laid hidden the famous Iqyi dance studio. Famous for its rigourous training and producing only the most dedicated of dancers. The class consisted oh 9 boys and 2 girls; which is where we find our lead male.

The harsh beats pounded through the speakers, as the young taiwanese boy practiced last weeks choreography. Yanjun always made sure to arrive atleast 20 minutes early to recap every piece they learnt. He worked hard to get into this academy and wasn't going to waste a single second of it. He always knew he wanted to perform and share his passion with the world. To hopefully inspire others to follow their dreams like him someday and this was going to be his first stepping stone. Despite this being the main reason for his early arrival, there was another situation which also made his early practices seem the best possible solution. Y/N was the only other person to always be early to class. She was the object of his desires. He loved to watch as her body so effortlessly and gracefully balanced out the moves she was performing. How she would get the cutest of smiles whilst dancing, revealing her two faint hidden dimples. Y/N and yanjun had always had a good chemistry together. They were always eachothers partners and constantly flirting with bad pick up lines. So much so, that the others always tried to set up ways to make them kiss or something to move their relationship along. However for the past 6 months no matter how much they flirted, she would always denie his request for a date and have a different excuse prepared. This frustrated the young male. He has always been a smooth talker and never void of a womans attention but no one compared to her. She was his perfect match and he would do anything to try and make her see just how much he cared for her.

One day, another class mate Zhengting suggested he follow the girl after class to see where she goes. That way he wouldn't have to listen to Yanjuns conspiracy theories anymore. So thats exactly what he did. He followed her to Shanghai rail station onto the express train for Jinshan. He stood in the carriage next to hers leaving just enough space for him to see her and still be hidden. To conceal his identity even more he put on a black snap back and face mask. As he adjusted the brace straps and smoothed down his white shirt. He watched as she smiled looking down at her phone, her bright sparkling doe eyes lighting up as she tries to follow along to the choreography shes watching. Cute he thinks. He recalled her mentioning something about living in Jinshan, when it dawned on him that she was most likely going home. Great. Now I'm gonna look like those weird creepy stalkers thanks to Zhengting. if she catches me, I'm done for. He thought.

50 minutes later they arrived at the small seaside town. Various market stalls lined up against the seashore, selling a variety of meat and fish as well as grills to cook them on. The town wasn't particularly busy, most likely due to the autumn weather settling in.

He followed her down the sandy beach as she gazed at the rippling turquoise water. Her lighting up,exactlt the same as when she was dancing. As he followed her, he noticed them arriving at a smaller more secluded part of the beach, with a small alcove to the side. He watched as she dug up a small seashell box and placed her phone, money and travel card inside; before re-burying it. What a strange thing to do. He thought. However things kept getting stranger. He noticed the female starting to strip off her clothes which brought a light pink blush to his face. No matter how much his brain was telling him to look, he adverted his eyes out of the respect he had for her. It was only once he heard a splash that he looked back to find her gone. He couldnt even see any ripples in the water. How could she just dissappear. That's when his thoughts kicked into overdrive. His first instinct was that she was drowning and so he quickly stripped off and rushed into the water to look for her. Once again finding no sign of life anywhere. That was until he heard a faint melodical voice and a light splashing. He started to walk as quietly as he could further into the ocean not caring that the water was now up to his hips.

Thats when he saw it. A aquamarine tail gently bobbing up and down against the current; as a young girl perched her elbows up on a rock. The more he stared the more he knew he recgonised that small face and bright brown eyes all too well. It was Y/N but with a tail. The young taiwanese male rubbed his eyes causing them to sting slightly from the sea water to make sure he wasnt seeing things. His mind couldn't comprehend what he was seeing to be true. Mermaids aren't real. He thought. He watched as she sorrowfully sang to herself as if the whole weight of the world was on her shoulders. Which was a 180 degree change from the happy go lucky gurl he knew.

"It's so enchanting,I'm trapped and drowning here for everyone to see.

They didn't notice.

How far away i am from everyone and everything.

Silly to have gambled with my heart out on the line

I guess thats just the way it goes. But I'm holding on

I know a day will come when i can be myself again.

And i hope someone will love me.

When this story ends."

Without thinking Yanjun rushed forward screaming out.

"Y/N"

He body jumped fro. the startle of his voice and as her eyes locked with his, they opened wide before she quickly dive into the ocean and swam away.

Since that day y/n had stopped comming to class. Naturally all the boys teased him saying he scared her off with his stalker antics. Which was sort of true but if only they knew. After a full week of absences Yanjun couldn't take it anymore. Everyday his head ran with thoughts and theories and how much he missed her; how he needed answers and he needed them now. Otherwise he would believe he really had gone insane. He decided from that point to go to the beach every single day in hopes of catching her once again. Atlas every day ended up in failure. On the 7th day, just as Yanjun was about to go home, he had the strongest urge to stay until nightfall. So he waited aimlessly staring at the ocean hoping for even a glimpse of her.

Finally he saw a glint of her aquamarine tail again. He made his way out into the ocean to see her perched up on the same rock as before. He stealthily made his way around another rock so he was close enough but still hidden in order to not scare her again.

"Y/N! please don't run away, i just want to talk... I'll even stay hidden so you don't have to see me." He pleaded.

"You do realise i know you have been there the whole time right." She sighed.

"What! I thought i was being an ultimate ninja."

He peered his face out from behind the rock only to discover no sight of her again. That was until he felt a splash of water trickling down his back, followed by a faint giggle.

"No,this is called being a ninja."

How he had missed her laughter. He turned around to look at her and studied every detail. How her long black wet hair shone under the moonlight. How she flashed the soft dimple smile towards him, earning his dimpled smile in return.

"I missed you y/n. Why don't you come to class anymore? Why did you run away? How are you a mermaid? I mean not that your not a hot mermaid but i always thought they were fairytales." He rambled on.

"Slow down Yanjun. I suppose i should answer every question, seeing as you havent left this entire week."

"You knew?"

"Yep"

"So you was just torturing me!" He laughed.

"Yes and no... I...I was scared"

Her voice trailed off as she sat herself uppn the rock bobbing her tail up and down and gestured for Yanjun to sit beside her. So he wouldn't catch a cold.

"I haven't been comming because i was scared what you thought of me. Scared that you had told everyone and that they would outcast me... i haven't exactly had the best luck with humans who found out."

"You don't know how insane I've been going without you! I even have to partner up with Justin and you know how unfocused he is!!! If i told people, they would assume I'm crazy." He laughed

"You might just be crazy Junnie."

She laughed poking his cheek. Yanjun then wrapoed his arms around her and pulled her down into his chest; gently stroking her damp hair and placing a soft kiss upon her head. Resulting in a small pink blush appearing on her cheeks.

"I would never hurt you y/n... you're too important to me."

"Don't you find this weird or disgusting?" She pointed to her tail.

"Nothing about you could ever be disgusting." He smiled.

She the wrapped her own arms around his waist, smiling as she listened to the soft beating of his heart. This was a new experiance for y/n and she was loving every bit of it.

"Tell me everything y/n...please." He pouted as he continued stroking her hair.

"Well...I've always been a mermaid. But one day i saw a group called Nex7 performing on the beach and i was so captivated by their dance style. I had always wanted to dance. The way human bodies could move like that on two legs was beautiful to me. Especially when i could see couples dancing together. There were so many wonders to the human realm that i wanted to be like you people... we have a legend in our species. That a mermaid princess made a deal to become a human for the sake of her love and if she failed she would return to being a mermaid forever. No one knows the ending of the story, so i went to our king and begged for my own chance. The king hates humans...but he's not heartless so we made a deal."

"What kind of deal?"

Yanjun's voice was very concerned by this point. What had she gotten herself into. Was it dangerous? Was the king actually evil? Is he gonna have to run a boat through somebody like in the disney movie? The possabilities were endless.

"I have 1 year... to pursue my dreams of dancing and finding love but i can only be on land for 4 hours before turning back... should I fail or fall for someone who is not my true love... i will be forced to remain a mermaid forever and never have the chance to become human again..." Her voice trailed off.

"So that's why you can't go on a date with me."

"It's not that i don't want too... but i physically can't."

"How long has it been?"

"11 months... my time is running out"

she sighed before diving into the ocean again, letting the salty water cover up her tears again befire resurfacing.

"How do you know if its true love or not if you dont try y/n."

Yanjuns deep brown eyes gazed into her own with such a pleading look, that she couldn't help but feel sadder. She liked Yanjun she really did, but if he wasn't her true love she couldn't take that risk.

"I dont know... one time a seer told me that we will have a instant connection and he has the blood of the ocean within him."

"Just give me a chance, I've been flirting with you long enough" he laughed. "I promise i won't kiss you or anything and i will come to the beach every day so we can date like this."

He smiled jumping off the rock and taking a hold of her hands.

"One chance y/n. Thats all I'm asking for."

She thought about it hard as she observed the young male. How his height towered over her but wasn't intimidating. That soft look he had in his eyes,whenever he looked at her and how they would sparkle when he was dancing. The way his dimples revealed themselves to her and how esoecially breath taking he was at the moment. With his short black hair a watery mess and small water droplets trickling down his abs. Her time would soon run out and she had to make a choice.

"Well even if you aren't my true love,with such little time it looks like im gonna be a mermaid anyway... so I will give you the chance Lin Yanjun." She smiled.

A small grin appeared on his face as he pulled her into his chest again. The heat between them made the cold nights ocean feel like a pin prick. He kept the promise of comming everyday with her after class so they could have their dates. No matter how many times Yanjun wanted them to skip classes so they could go on a real date, Y/n always denied him. She knew his passion for dancing was just as strong as her own and she couldn't let him waste his time on her. Especially if time did run out she knew her dreams would carry on through him.

They'd have picnics at the beach that Yanjun would spend hours preparing, thanks to Zhangjing teaching him how to cook. They'd slow dance on the sand and she would show him all her favourite spots and hiding places so he could always find her. Yanjun always wanted to steal kisses from her but it took all his energy to stop himself out of respect for their promise. The more time he spent with her the more he fell. The way she would sing him a different song every night. How she would gift him rare seashells or other treasures she'd stumble upon. He marked down every single date so he could remember what they had done and how long they had left. But as time went on he found himself not caring if she stayed a mermaid,he would find a way for them to be together.

Before they knew it,it was their last day together. Luckily it fell on the day of the annual beach festival. Various attractions and market stalls were set up on the beach and he finally convinced y/n to sacrifice their dance class so they could spend their last day properly. They walked up amd down the different stalls, y/n getting more excited each time as she had always wanted to attend one of these events. Yanjun made sure to buy never ending supplies of ice cream and candy floss as they ran up and down the beach playing. Dancing along to the smooth beats of the music playing. Y/n had always wanted to ride a ferris wheel and luckily enough one was there lit up by the multicoloured lights against the night sky.

As they headed towards the que,Yanjun noticed a fortune teller gesturing to him. He sent y/n ahead using the excuse that he needed the bathroom before heading towards the young male. The mysterious man was dressed head to toe in a red and black theme with his short black hair slicked back. He had a innocent smile upon his face as he gestured for Yanjun to sit down.

"I got a strong urge when i saw you to read your future."

"And you are?"

"I'm the great Fan Chengcheng. 100% accuracy, never failed." He giggled. "Now give me your hand."

"Why?"

"So i can read your palm idiot. The cosmic spirits are urging me to do it and if i dont they will never shut up."

Reluctantly Yanjun gave him his hand and the young male started to study it.

"You're a very interesting person, i see great fortune in your future... but theres something unique about your blood and the spirit inside you."

"Go on."

Yanjun made his way quickly back to the queue to discover y/n nearly at the front. She hit him gently for taking his time.

"If you were gonna poop,you could of said. Everyone kept looking at me pitifully like i was a loner."she pouted

"I wasn't! I got distracted by a seller and just about escaped! As long as no one hit on you that's all that matters."

Time passed quickly and they were already at the top of the ferris wheel. Y/N was fascinated by the view and how small the town appeared from the height. Her attention was so distracted it was like Yanjun wasn't even there. So he got up and sat himself next to her, pulling her into his chest again.

"Yanjun!!! I wanna see!"

"Let's just stay like this a bit...please."

Y/n smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist listening to his heart beat again.

"I'm going to miss hearing this..." she sighed.

"This heart only beats for you,so without you it's non existant."

"Yanjun..."

"Even if i have to become a merman or something, I'll never leave you and I'll never love another person."

"You cant do that for me.... your hopes and dreams are worth so much more than this fantasy of us and you deserve so much love."

"I would give up my world for you y/n. I love you"

"I...i love you too Yanjun"

He took ahold of her hand and rushed them over to her spot as time was quickly running out. As she jumped into the ocean turning back into a mermaid, he glanced down at his watch. 2 minutes left.

" Yanjun... thank you for everything." She struggled to hold back the tears. "You are truly the most beautiful human I've ever met inside and out. my world has changed for the better because of you. I never thought i could find love, after the way the men in this world treated me. But i realise now, I love nothing more in my life than you."

"I told you from the day we met, that you were my angel that fell from heaven. I meant every word. I love you and only you. I will mever love anyone ever again. I will find a way for us y/n. So never forget me."

"I could never forget you Lin Yanjun."

Just as the last couple of seconds to midnight passed away, she pulled his neck down and placed her soft pink lips against his. Yanjun gently biting her bottom lip begging for for entrance as their tongues greeted eachother passionately and then she was gone.

"DAD WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE WAS GONE!" WHAT SORT OF STORY IS THIS? SEE THIS IS WHY I SAID I DON'T BELIEVE IN MERMAIDS." the eldest boy yelled.

"I haven't finished the story yet son." He laughed.

"I believe daddy!" The youngest smiled gripping her teddy bear tight.

"Do you want to know what the fortune teller told him that day?."

"YES" they both screamed."

“He said you have the blood and spirit of a mermaid inside of you.”

Both kids looked at each other with eyes and mouths wide open.

“THAT MEANS!”

“That means it’s time for bed.” 

A young woman walked into the room, her white dress flowing as she walked towards the two young kids and tucked them both into their beds, placing a soft kiss upon their heads.

“Mum, we want to know the end of the story!” The eldest whined.

“You’ll find out the rest, when this story ends.” 

She sang slightly before giggling and turning on the night light for the children. The young man turned off the lights as he took a hold of his wife’s hand and walked out of their kids room closing the door.

“Yanjun we promised we wouldn’t tell them until they are older!”

“What’s the harm in them thinking it’s a fairytale for now. A beautiful romantic fairytale. It did me no harm!” he stuck out his tongue at her.

“That reminds me. You never told me Cheng Cheng said you have mermaid blood within you. Or that you met that sly Fan Cheng Cheng at all!” 

She crossed her arms over her chest, looking towards him dissapprovingly.

“If I had told you, then our last moment wouldn’t of been as romantic...plus how was i meant to know he was the seer you met in the ocean, he was human!”

He laughed as he placed a kiss upon her lips.

“You ass! I really thought I was going to lose you then and you knew all along. Do you know how much courage it took for me to kiss you!”

“Not as much courage is needed now though.”

He winked and smiled picking her up bridal style carrying her to the bed in their bedroom and placing her gently down upon it. before placing another kiss on her forehead.

“Who would of known my grandfathers stories about a mermaid and a human were true all along.” He laughed

A/N I hope you liked it. The song she sings comes from the sound track of the little mermaid 2018 movie and is called when this story ends! Which is where i got the name of this fic from too haha.  In regards to fated blood i’m taking a short break from it until i can work out properly where things are going with that, but i will have many more smaller fics in between that time.

#lin yanjun imagines #lin yanjun #lin yanjun scenarios #NINE PERCENT #nine percent imagines #nine percent scenario #nine percent yanjun #idol producer imagine #idol producer scenarios #idol producer yanjun #yanjun #mermaid #the little mermaid #idol producer

[mittemagku1971-blog]

Through the years, various things happened, I learned otherwise, and ended up basically on unemployment and/or zero income and thankful for every dollar that came my way, no matter how it happened. I eventually managed to claw my way back up to entry level wages, which, about ten years later, were still at around $11/hr. I was no longer Richie Rich, ya. My grandpa got me into gaming. He been jamming PC games since the early 90s and had me "playing" them before I could even walk. We would play a lot of Command and Conquer together. It felt so great to work, put that body to use than to sit in stupid school. So I get what you possibly are feeling now. I, however, am very glad that my father basically dragged me to school and made me finish it. I don own much cute or nice shirts (I only own t shirts and a plaid shirt that about it). I do have a dress, yes just one. Shoes wise I have one pair of ballet flats, white converses, a pair of Dr Martens, a pair of Nike runners, and a pair of flip flops.. It there. It theirs. Not mine. I don't remember what the music was, if there was any. Nor do I remember what the homily was, if one was given. I don't even know if we stayed warm enough. I really enjoyed "The Human Magnet 부안출장안마 Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap" by Ross Rosenberg. It was incredibly helpful in becoming more cognizant of my codependent tendencies as a child of an nparent. It is a 부안출장안마 bit long and technical so it can be a bore through some bits, but the pieces that stood out to me really changed how I view relationships and helped me think through how my upbringing affected every type of relationship I engage in. 35 points submitted 1 day agoThere is a huge financial crash planned a few weeks from now, barring extraordinary circumstances, and I really feel that people aren taking seriously the consequences of one of the top 3 financial capitals of the world being on the verge of having food riots and martial law and being massively disrupted to the point of likely closing markets for a few days, possibly weeks.And Trump, being the idiot that he is, cannot even understand that it will be bad and as such is unable to make any preparations and will likely react in the worst possible way.Then again, it seems like pretty much everyone is just coasting into it without the proper level of panic it should be given. Humans really suck at estimating inflection points for pending disasters. [score hidden] submitted 4 hours agoThe worst case scenario, which the government is preparing for. As he had a liking for the spot, he seldom let a week pass without paying a visit. Sometimes, he went down alone from Saturday to Monday; sometimes his partner accompanied him; sometimes, he merely strolled for an hour or two about the house and garden, saw that all was right, and returned to London again. At all times, and under all circumstances, Mrs Tickit, with her dark row of curls, and Dr Buchan, sat in the parlour window, looking out for the family return.. Its been 6 months with no help now. I refuse to ask for help because i dont want me or my daughter to be a burden to anyone. Yes i expect a 2 month old baby to have priority over a man child getting a tube in his penis for 10 seconds. Coming from a family of oil field workers, they have to work long days in crappy conditions. Working in 40 degree Fahrenheit conditions or 100+ degree days, being away from their families months and months on end. My dad would come home from overseas as thin as a rail from working so much and not having adequate food available on the rig.

[erosjeon]

Kalopsia

Pairing: Hybrid!Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff & Smut

Summary: You walk into your home one day to find your cat walking on two feet, in a human form.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Words: 2.5k

You kicked the door shut after trying your best to get it opened with your unavailable hands that carried the heavy groceries. With a grunt you managed to reach for your cross body and throw it over the couch while making your way to the kitchen to put down and organise all the things you bought.

You had a simple life, a twenty years old girl who’s trying to make a living in this cruel world. Your parents had passed when you were young and ever since then you had to make your own money, be it from taking extra shifts at the cafè you worked in to working at McDonald’s where you used to visit when your parents were alive and wonder why people wanted to work there when most of the customers were absolute garbage and the atmosphere is unforgiving and suffocating. You had come to the realisation that those people didn’t have a choice because after all you had bills and a degree to pay for.

You would describe yourself single, you and your boyfriend broke up about a year ago, you would be really upset and heart broken if he wasn’t a douchebag and a selfish piece of shit or maybe because you only dated for a few months and realised he wasn’t the one for you.

You would say that you’re living in this apartment alone but you had a cat, a male adorable Scottish fold with the fluffiest fur ever. He was the only thing keeping you going through your hard times, he would always come and rub his head onto your feet when you arrive home, he always wanted your attention and would would beg and purr for your pettings just like he is now.

You crouch down to run your fingers through his adorable ears with the biggest smile sprawled onto your face, you can never help it when he looks at you like that. Only if a real man can actually look at you like this.

“Hi Kookie” you said while stretching each syllable out of adornment.

“How have you been? Were you being a good boy?” You said while peppering his fur with kisses near his ear and neck which earned you a lot purr and a lick from him.

Your cat wasn’t the typical cat that scratched at its owners if they touched him or pet him too much, yes he would get fiesty sometimes but most of the time he was peaceful and understanding. When you cry, you would find him at your lap looking as sad as you or dragging a toy in your direction in hopes that if you see him play around attend to your commands that you would feel mused and feeling better. You swore that he’s not a normal cat.

You carried him in your arms after organising everything in place. You headed to your room and put him into your bed where you would walk to your wardrobe to get a change of clothes. You took of your shirt followed by your bra, you didnt need to be suffocated at home wearing these merciless boob imprisonment outside was bad as it is, you put your head and arm through your tank top and changed your jeans into your matching pyjama shorts.

You liked to lay down in bed and pet your cat when you came back from a long day in attempt to gather a bit of energy to get up and try to make dinner. Kookie must be starving yoi thought as you patted at your lap to get your cat to come to you, which he obviously did you could swear that he liked being there maybe a little too much. You didn’t like your cat eating processed smelly canned food that they scam people with at the market, when you first got your cat 7 years ago, you didn’t have much money to get him special cat food and you would feed him whatever you were eating which he actually found much better than canned food that you bought for him when you finally earned money, he refused to eat it and you decided to never feed him it again.

“Sometimes, I wish you can speak to me” you said while rubbing his right ear between your thumb and pointer, he liked it the best when you petted his sweet tiny ears like that.

“I just feel silly when I speak about my day for hours when you probably can’t understand anything I’m saying apart from the word food” you laughed at yourself. Strangely your cat growled and it almost sounded like a scoff, did you just offend your cat?!

“Sorry. But you know im going to talk about my day either way” you shot him a sweet smile. He settled his head between his stretched paws that laid on your stomach.

“I… I think I’m going to quit” you said slowly. You didn’t expect your cat to understand the kind of world you live in. You are a hard working person but you can barely manage doing notes for class when you had two jobs like that, besides neither paid well for the long hours you worked. You though of quitting your job at McDonald’s because it was tough and was a complete crap of a job and the shifts you worked could spare you an entire night that you can use studying or maybe in the future, spare that time to work for someone who pays well.

“I’m just tired you know? I feel like my brain cells are dying when I work there. The people treat you so horribly, when I work late at night and go to clean the dirty tables I get groped and it feels disgusting. The smell is disgusting and I dont even comment on how bad the food  we sell it. I feel so bad for selling people something that will reduce their life span” you sighed.

“I guess I really had enough, huh?” You said while picking up his left ear and massaging his head. The cat infront of you seemed to have understood you and gave you a pity look, which had quickly changed to what you could make out as annoyance and anger. Why are cats so weird yet absolutely beautiful.

“I guess it’s queue for dinner” you cheered,

“Grilled chicken? Or that salmon I just bought from the market baby?” You asked as if your cat would answer. You knew he would probably like salmon better and honestly, you were craving some salmon and a good beetroot salad.

The cat had followed you to the kitchen when the smell of fish showered your entire home. Of course you thought, what a typical cat he is. You noticed as he gets closer to you as you grill the salmon on the hot surface, he had wrapped your calf with his tail while looking up to you which made you squeal at his cuteness but remembered how dangerous it is for him to be close to an oven.

“I love you Kook but you have to go away, it’s dangerous here” you said before reaching for the fridge and taking out the rest of the ingredients necessary for the dish.

You had spent the rest of the night eating your dinner and watching a movie play on your TV with your beloved cat. You were feeling pretty tired and chose to end your night after emailing your boss at McDonald’s not to expect you at work anymore, you finally chose to quit but you weren’t sure if you were ready for the consequences. It’ll be okay, you whispered to yourself before shutting your eyes and brain to sleep.

The next morning, you woke up before he did like any other normal day. You headed to the bathroom and got ready to get ready for your classes, you would normally make food in the morning and put it down in a bowl so that when your cat is hungry it can eat while your not home, but as you quit your job at McDonald’s, today consisted of going to classes and coming back home early.

You made some coffee and put down a small breakfast for your cat incase it woke up before you got home but you doubted it since you’re going to come back within 3 hours and he’s showing no sign of wanting to get up any time soon. Smiling, you wore your winter coat and wrapped your neck with your favourite soft scarf and headed outside to start your day.

Classes were the same, difficult but manageable with effort anf effecient note taking, which you clearly havent done enough of. You didn’t make friends with the people that are in your course because you simply didnt have enough time to, but they all seemed somewhat nice you guessed.

Once the class was over you had a small break before the other one begins and you headed to the local university cafe for some coffee in attempt to really wake up. You waited in the queue to order your coffee, it was only one man with a slightly grey hair in front of you. You assumed he was one of those obnoxious frat party boys who dyed their hair a different colour every weekend. You rolled your eyes when you heard him ordering the same drink you were going to.

“Hi. Can I get a caramel machiatto please?” You asked of the barista, who nodded and asked for your name and the money, which of course you had given before you proceeded to wait for your drink. You had realised that the man in front of you was gone, that was quick you said before taking the drink that was placed on the table in front of you, that had said caramel machiatto on it.

You had sipped some before the same man reappears infront of you. Why was he here you said before turning away, only to hear your name and the drink you ordered being called out by the barista.

Fuck.

You turned around, and met the man again but this time, he was facing you and dear God, he was gorgeous. So unreal that you’d think he was an anime character. And you might have embarrassed yourself by taking his drink.

“Sorry, i thought you took your drink and left and I didn’t bother to check the name on the cup” you said shyly.

He took the drink placed on the table and turned it around before sipping it.

“No worries. Y/N” he said. He knew you?

“Um… Do I know you” you said confused.

“If that was a pick up line… You could do much better” he chuckled.

“Ahh.. not that. Its just you knew my name and I’m not much of a social person is all” you laughed as crismon stains your cheeks. You weren’t sure if you said that out of confusion or admiration and wanting to keep talking to him.

“The cup says your name” was all he said before giving you a smile.

“Right! Sorry again” you said,

“No problem at all” he said, before you left the cafe and continued to your class.

You were on your way home after that incident and you were smiling like a fool. At least we go to the same university, we’ll probably meet again, you thought. You didn’t know that this was not the only unexpected thing to happen today because as you turned the lock of your home open, you were met with a naked man.

“What the fuck?!” You screamed after taking in the scene right infront of you.

He wasn’t just one naked man, no he had what appears like cat ears and a fluffy long tail that you can mistake as your cat’s. You didn’t dare to look down and met his eyes, he was clearly as freaked out as you are, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. The more you looked into his eyes the more they resembled your cat’s that you stare hours in every night. You can never mistake any detail regarding your cat but this? This is insane!

“What are you doing in my house?!” You tried to be calm, not knowing how to deal with this situation. Was he a pervert with some strange kink, going to peoples homes and freaking them out like that?

“You’re home early” he said with a shrug, his voice sounding like the sweetest melody. When you fathomed what he just said you took a step back in shock. What the hell was that.

What?

“Who are you?!” You tried to stay calm and collected.

“Really Y/N? You can’t tell how your cat looks like?”

What?

“Thank God you found out this way, I was getting tired of having to stay in that stupid cat form and eat out the small bowl you would put my food in” he said annoyed.

This is not your cat. The man in front of you is definetly someone mental.

“If you think I’m gonna believe this then your out of your fucking mind” you retaliated.

He moved forward towards you before he shut the door forcefully and pinning you on it. He smirked before saying

“I can make you believe me”

He took your hand and placed them on the familar ears, they felt and looked just like your cat’s. You couldn’t help but rub them and the man in front of you leant towards your hand and purred.

You couldnt deny the fact that this pretty much is your actual cat in human form. All the memories of appearing naked and changing clothes in front of him rushed in your mind. You smacked your self mentally and stayed away from Jungkook. Yeah that was the name you had given your cat that you’d usually call Kookie.

“Why are you running away from me now?”, he said confused.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re human” you ignored him.

“Because im not” he said as if it was obvious.

“You know what I mean. You’re a hybrid, same thing” you said sighing.

“Because like you are now, you’ll distance yourself from me” he looked down, all the smug that was on it disappeared. You sighed again, you’d never leave your cat. He was your life and you’ve even wished that he could talk to you. Your wishes had come true.

“Kookie” you said before making your way to him, his ears perked up and so did his head in attempt to look at you.

“I’d never leave you. You know that” you said as you took your fingers to push through his ears like you always do. He purred again and placed his arms around your waist while he rubbed his head into your chest.

“I-I always wanted to do this… have you between my arms instead of the usual way around” he said and you smiled.

“I do feel weird about it, but I could get used to it” you smiled.

A/N: Part 2 is out now

#bts #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook hybrid #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #bts fan fiction #bts scenario #bts drabbles #bts imagine #kpop fluff #kpop fan fiction #taehyung #jimin #jhope #rap monster #jin #suga #hybrid au #cat hybrid #fluff #kpop fanfiction angst #bangtan #bts her #bts dna #bts love yourself #bts updates #bts v #bts army

[theharlequinwriter]

He’s Just like you.

Summary :  you and sam have a bad fight causing you to leave not knowing your pregnant and its a couple years later

Word count : 2,720

triggers: swearing.

“Dean wheres sam”

I stood on my tip toes looking over deans shoulder looking for my tall boyfriend sam.

“He took of with that demon bitch”

I gritted my teeth.

“Ruby”             I hated her more than anything , I knew that she was lying to us about helping dean outta going to hell but of course we couldn’t took a damn angel to save him. I hated how much sam trusted her , I feel like he would chose her over me , so I avoided the question during fights. I sat back on the couch grabbing my food from the brown bag dean had.

“You okay y/n?”

“Im fine why?”

“You seem upset lately maybe a little bitchy”

I pushed deans arm , taking a bite of my burger. We sat watching movies until at least midnight when sam finally came back in the door. Dean and I both turned now looking at sam who stood there as if he had just gotten off work.

“Where were you sam?”

“With ruby babe”

He walked by grabbing his salad pecking me on the cheek. I heard more footsteps and in walks in the demon herself ruby.

“Why the hell are you here demon bitch”

“Watch you’re tone with me hunter skank”

I walked around the couch coming face to face with ruby.

“Lets go bitch”

I pushed her back , sam came grabbing my hand leading me to the kitchen.

“What the hell y/n”

“Really sam”

“What?”

“You brought her here knowing how I feel about her”

“Shes helping me”

“I can help you sam”

“Not like she can”

“Are you sleeping with the bitch or something”

“What no”

“Then what the hell sam , why am I getting the 3rd degree here”

“Shes helping me y/n more than you or dean ever could”

“Wow sam I stayed with you even after dean went to hell ,I stayed when I found out you’re a demon blood junkie , I stayed even when she came”                                                       “No one asked you too y/n”

His hands now clenching into fist.

“I didnt ask you to stay , you did that all on your own”

“What was I gonna do sam , let you go y2k on everyone and everything?”

“I dont know y/n but it would of been easier if you just left”

“Really why so you could fuck her without feeling guilty after , oh im sorry I mean "helping” you"  

“Actually you know what y/n yes okay yes im fucking ruby ,ya happy now , wanna know why? Cause she doesnt bitch all the time , she doesnt need me to protect her , id rather her have my back at least I can depend on her”

“SAM!”

dean yelled stepping between us.

I felt my heart shatter In pieces, I felt tears forming , I didnt want him to see me cry.

I walked away still hearing him yell at dean about how ruby is better for him than me , how maybe I should just go. I went to our room grabbing everything I could , smashing pictures as I walked around the room.

“Okay  sam , hope your happy”

I walked away grabbing my bag and a little money. I gave dean a hug then I walked out the door not looking back.

I finally got to a cheap hotel where I got a single bed for the weekend. I walked inside falling onto the bed tears falling down my face. How could he say that. I took a shower , getting out my phone had a text from dean.

-hey y/n think it finally hit sam your not coming back , he might try call ya Ill let you know if he does anything stupid and dont worry about ruby ill gank her soon-

I didn’t reply i want sam to worry to realize im not going back.

Its been two months since I left, i decided I need to get a apartment in a little town where supernatural things didn’t occur.  I went into the little market buying some food and shampoo oh and pregnancy test.

I got home taking the test , it came back positive only one guy could be the father.

Sam.

I havent slept with anyone else or even looked at another guy I still loved sam.                    

*TWO YEARS LATER*

“Mommy , mommy look”

I got down on knees taking the drawing out of ethans hand.

My son ethan looks just like his father , he has his eyes and hair , his laugh , smile. He makes me miss sam everyday.

“Thats amazing baby , what is it”

Looking at the drawings it was a very tall person with a cape and what look like dogs.

“Its daddy , you said hes saving people from devil dogs , silly mommy”

I put it on the frige placing him in his seat. I gave him his lunch , he always wanted to know about sam ever since he had a play date with a kid who had both his parents. I told him sam was off saving the world from monsters like ghost and devil dogs. He always asked if his daddy was coming home or will he ever see him.

He was so smart for a child his age. After lunch I asked if he wanted to go to the park to play and feed the ducks.

We got in the car buckling ethan into his seat. When got to the park , ethan took off for the swings. I sat on a bench close enough to see but not so close I can’t see my surroundings. Im still a hunter  after all. Ethan was playing tag with some of his friends when another mom came and sat next to me.

“Hey y/n , how are you”

“Im fine susan ,how are you”

“Honestly a little shook up , some fbi agents came to the house asking about murders”

“Creepy”

“Oh my thats them”

She pointed her finger over at two men in suits , walking twords us. I brushed my hair into my face , I turned to her but she was already gone. As they got closer I could hear them banter back and forth.

“Excuse me miss may we ask you some questions”

I sat up looking up at the man who spoke.

“Hi sam”

His jaw dropped as I spoke to him , I flashed a smile , I jumped up hugging dean before reaching out offering sam a hug. He pulled me in hugging me tightly his hands rested on my lower back. I pulled away still having the smell of him fill my nose

“So what’s going on , I havent heard about any murders”

Dean spoke when sam just stood  there with a big smile across his face.

“Happend in the 80’s thinking its a wendigo who went quite”

“You guys still gotta gank it nice or not a monsters a monster right”

“Right”

Dean winked at me before sam cut in.

“So uhh whats new”

“A little this , a litte that”

I didnt tell him about ethan, I didnt need a absent father in his life Sam kept glancing at the ground then back at me.

“We ganked ruby”

“Oh im sorry ”

“Im not ,she was tricking me”

“Oh well cant trust anyone I guess”

“Ive missed you y/n”

“I miss you too sam”

His smile grew bigger.

“Maybe we can get a drink tonight and talk”

“I can’t im sorry”

“Oh you got a boyfriend or something?”

“No ”

Dean now trying to help his brother spoke now giving me his best charm.

“Why dont the three of us go get a drink and talk about getting the band back together”

“Id love to you guys but I cant”

Sam was about to protest when ethan came running from the playground.

“Mommy , mommy I caught a bug”

I picked him up sitting him on my hip.

“Let me see”

He opend his hand showing a dead cricket"

“Its dead hun”

“I know silly mommy , it was scaring lisa so I saved her , like how daddy saved you from monsters”

I kissed his cheek putting him back down , crouching down I grabbed his hand.

“Go say bye we gotta go home”

He smiled running off to say bye, I stood up sam and dean both wide eyed and speechless.  I waved my hand in front of sams face making him snap out of his trance.

“You have a a a a son?”

“Yea his names ethan”

Sam stayed speachless watching ethan run back to us.

Ethan stood by my side , gripping my pant leg tightly. Sam crouched down pulling out his fake fbi badge.

“Hi im sam”

Ethan grabbed his badge.

“Im ethan”

“Tell him your full name ethan”

ethan tucked his head into my leg before looking back at sam smiling.

“My name is Ethan Samuel Winchester”

Sams head shot up looking at me, he stood up trying to figure out what to say.                                        

“Ethan hunny dont forget your toy”

He ran back to the swings where his toy dragon sat in the sand. Sam finally spoke.

“Is he mine?”

“Yes sam , hes your son”

“When did you find out"                    

"Maybe a month and a half after I left”

“Why didnt you call?”

“Didnt think you would care”

I could see tears filling up his eyes. Ethan walked over , picking him up I gave sam and dean quick hugs before walking to my car , shaky and on the verge of tears.

*sams pov*

Dean and I just killed off the 90 year old wendigo. Dean decided we had a crazy day so the bar was the perfect place to go. We sat down at a table near the back , dean ordered 6 shots of whiskey , 3 for each , and two beers one for each. As we drank my mind kept snapping back to y/n and our son.

“Sammy?”

I snapped out of my day dream to dean cheersing me with his shot.

“So you’re a daddy sam”

“Im not a dad im just the biological father , I wasnt there for anything”

Dean downed his other two shots , so did I. He raised he hand asking for 3

More rounds. We were in the middle of our 3 or was it 5th round with jack when I finally yelled.

“Why the fuck didnt she call me dean? Ya know just be like oh hey sam im pregnant with your child just fyi or a text something”

“You told her to go sam , told her you wanted ruby , that you were cheating on her with ruby , that you wished she left , you made her feel worthless , unloved , unwanted , you were so jacked up on demon blood you didnt care when she walked out the door”

I buried my face in my hands , dean was right , it was my fault she never came back or called , I dont blame her for hiding him from me.

Dean cleared his throat.

“She clearly tells the kid about you”

I looked up at him , feeling tears build behind my eyelids.

“What?”

“She tells the kid about you I mean you didnt hear him say he saved the girl from the bug like his daddy saved her”

My heart beat hard agianst my chest. I had to see her ,tell her everything. I stood up but dean pushed me back into my seat.

“2 more rounds”

After we drank I felt the room spinning , my thoughts jumbled between y/n and ethan , and more alcohol. I walked outside feeling the cold air hit my face.

“Cas!”

I yelled when I heard the sound of wings I turned to see 3 cas’s , he spoke but I couldn’t hear him.

“T-t-t take me to y/n”

Next thing I knew I was infront of a little white house.

*y/n pov*

*BANG BANG*

I ran to the door , it was 2 am who the hell is banging at my door this late. I opened the door to find a very drunk , very sad sam.

“Sam?”

He smiled pulling me to his chest.

“Y/n!!”

I took him inside sitting him on the couch handing him a water bottle.

“Sam what are you doing here?”

“This right here ”

He patted his hands on the couch.

“Is where im meant to be”

“Sam please dont”

“Please just listen”

I sat next to him making sure we didnt touch.

“Y/n im so sorry for how I acted , for what I s s s said , ruby was a lying bitch just l l like you said. She tricked me into horrible things I never had sex with her , I never even looked at her like that , I was so junked up on demon blood that I didnt see that you were what I needed , w w what I need baby.”

I saw tears falling from his eyes now when he spoke.

“Baby you are my world , and we have a son ,  , I dont blame you for keeping him from me, but I I can’t , wont miss anymore of his life or yours , I need you back y/n , im so sorry so so so sorry”

He was now full on crying , I could tell dean had gotten him drunk so he could say how he felt. He looked back at me , his eyes blood shot and his     breath smelling of whiskey.

“He has your eyes sam”

“Really?”

“Yeah , he is just like you more and more everyday”

I felt tears falling down my face.

“Sam you can come back but you have to be here , I wont let you hurt ethan”

“I wont ever hurt eaither of you”

His hands grabbed mine pulling me to him so now I was sitting on his lap facing him. He put one of his hands on my lower back while the other rested on my cheek. He closed the gap between us his lips gently touching mine. I kissed back running my hands through his hair making the kiss deeper.

“Ive missed you so much sam”

I helped him upstairs ,letting him sleep in my bed. As I layed next to him , he wrapped his hands around my waist pulling me into his spooning me.

“Does ethan know about me?”

“Yeah he knows you and dean hunting   monsters like ghost and demons but he thinks your a superhero”

I heard his laugh as we fell asleep. I woke up before sam untangling myself from him. I walked downstairs where ethan sat watching his morning cartoons. I called him over to the kitchen sitting him in his chair I went to the frige grabbing things for pancakes.

“Mommy what’s wrong?”

Ethan looked at me smiling

“Nothing baby”

I walked away from my mixing bowl picking ethan up sitting him on my hip. Grabbing my wallet I took the picture of me sam and dean out handing it to him.

“That right there is your uncle dean , hes really brave and the tall guy thats your daddy sam he’s my hero”

Ethan smiled holding the picture, I walked into the kitchen sitting him down on the floor. I heard steps coming from upstairs.

“Ethan hun I have a surprise for you”

His head snapped up looking at me with wonder.

“What is it mommy?”

“I want you to look at that picture real close”

As he squinted his eyes , sam came down standing at the walk way into the kitchen.

“Now ethan look up”

Ethan looked up from the picture , as his eyes met sam , the biggest smile formed across his face.

“DADDY!!!”

he ran over grabbing sams legs as sam picked him up.

“Daddy your back!”

Sam hugged him tears falling down his face.  His eyes locked onto mine.

“Daddys home now ethan”

After breakfast dean came over so ethan could know his family. As sam and I did dishes his hands grabbed my hips spining me around so now I was face to face with him.

“Y/n I wanna be a family”

“We are sam”

“I wanna make it offical”

He reached into his pocket pulling out a ring.

“I know its not much but will you marry me ?”

“Yes sam oh my lord yes”

He kissed me , my hands tangled in jis hair as we parted I could hear ethan and dean.

“Ew mommy and daddy are kissing”

“I know right gross”

I smiled at sam , knowing he will always be there for ethan and I

#Littlebrothersammyimagines #sam winchester imagines #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader

[worangetravellertravels]

The Worst Poison of them All

(Be warned of the following before reading my story: In here I’ll be dealing with a customer who wants poison... to end their life. How I’ll act while trying to help is not the only way to act. I’m pretty sure there are many better ways to do it. This one is from a sleazy but with moral poison seller... seek help from better people than me.)

I know my job isn't exactly the most honorable in the world, but I somewhat try to make up for it...

They came trough my door near the end of the day. When people are leaving to their houses to rest for another day. They couldnt even talk, they were shaking, waving their money and pointing at the back. I made my usual introductory schtick (for this type of job, you need to amuse yourself).

WELCOME YOUNG ONE! To Mr. Rat’s Poison Paradise: Alleyway with the best and most effective poisons in this side of the black market. We have poison for small people, big people, old people and animals of all kind. Poisons dont distinguish race, gender, etnicity nor how good or bad the victim or you just/evil revenge is. So please tell me which one do you need and you can move on with your life.

At that point their face got paler, starting shaking more and suddenly... fell on their knees and began a gross sobbing... oh no, It’s one of “those customers”, I mean no disrespect to the person but... I’m getting no monetary profict for what’s about to happen... *sigh* but what can ya do.

“Listen... fella. (if fella is not a gender neutral term i tried ok?)” - I try to sound paternal, but how paternal can a sleazy poison seller sound? - “I’m sorry but I can’t really sell you anything if ya wanna use it on yourself. I deal easy revenges, not easy giver uppers ya know?”

They continue to sob... And continue to explain.

“I’m not really a good guy as you can imagine... but I’m not a heartless monster even with the ocupation I have. Pretty cowardly from me to say I guess, but it’s like the people that say “how can you eat cows?” and the best response you can get is “because I won’t see it” I can easily deal poisons because I know they will be use in someone I don’t know... while here I’m seeing you sobbing because you’re scared. You don’t wanna do this don’t you?” - They kept sobbing... but slightly shaked their head to say “no” - “*sigh* I suspected that... would it help you talking to me about what lead you to get to this “brilliant idea”? I have no right to judge people so lay your tragic sorrows on old Mr. Rat”

Between sobs I heard their troubles. Nothing new or unusual really, always the same familiar sob story: family abuse, social ineptitude, bad relationships. It’s not that these issues aren’t important... is that after so many years listening to stuff like this they feel so... “normal”? then again when you stop to think about it... thinking of them as “normal” is really disgusting.. I guess more to add to my own shame. At least they seemed to be free of physical abuse, substance abuse or... self abuse...

What I’ve know seing “this” happen trough the years I’ve worked here, (and yes “this” is sadly a regular occurence) is that the people who come here most of the time if they REALLY want the poison for “that”, they would buy it with no hesitation and even some relief... sad i know. But a lot are like the sobbing mess in front of me... they just need someone to talk to... I usually provide the ear to their issues and to different degrees they accept or decline. After listening I do my best to calm the situation... probably with some sappy or cliche stuff, I know, not very honest of me... old habits die hard I guess. In this case? Notice I haven’t told you what their problem was... would this response paint you the image for who would it work?

“Okay... you’re clearly in the wrong shop young one. You dont need poison, you need and ANTIDOTE, cause all you have told me clearly paints that the poison you have inside you is “self hatred” you think you’re irredemable, unchangeable and that to not be a burden you need to drink proper poison. When what you need is the antidote of “self love”... sadly we’re out of those here, but I’m sure your fmaily or a close person in your life has a way for you to find it. Or maybe you can search for it? Sadly can’t help beyond that...”

Trust me is a coincidence if it fits you. It’s like horoscopes... you just gotta know what to say.

Eventually they stopped sobbing and the colour returned to their faces, they thanked me and offered me the money they had for the original poison “HELL NO! GIVE YOUR STINKING MONEY A REAL USE!” I yelled, they yelp a bit scared and I got a bit flustered “I mean, this talk is what a regular person should do... and I’m below regular so URGH!”

They hugged me... it lasted more seconds than usual... I considered that my tip.

Before they left I gave them a card, it was for the suicide hotline of the town, address and everything “Don’t just stay with my pathetic pet talk fella, go here and talk to them. I can’t force you... but trust me, you NEED this. Now scram! I have actual costumers to tend to”

They smiled... I smiled back. And just like that they were gone.

I could tell you either that I never saw them again or how by a conntribance I did see them in the way of recovery... in reality that doesn’t matter if you ask me... just remember to do your best in what you do k?

NOW SCRAM! I have a life to continue on.

Notes:

> After strings of negative stories I decide to make positive story > Word for today is “poison” > F***!

Did the best I could anyway so no regrets.

Truth be told I was planning to change the story to reflect more on Yuri’s response to my response yesterday... but then decided against it and made it a general lesson in helping others no matter the negativity you are/can be to the world... “even a monster can have something beautiful” if you will ;)

Now read the story again but listening to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TwwiLAk4GM (Live at Grillby’s, Undertale Jazz remixes, the whole album)

#inspiration: positivity helping and Yuri? #His name really is Patrick #but he hates iliteration xD #a lovely word game with my literature club #poison #worange #aworangestory

[brokenhayatim]

two mins forty-three seconds

it’s been so long since i’ve written. i don’t think any of this will make sense.. also my hands are shaking so it’s taking me longer to type.

you ever know something is wrong with you? and like it’s so familiar and you just think ‘it’s happening again’. i’ve felt like that for long but i’ve been managing it pretty well. in the last month or so though, i felt it shift into deeper waters and it’s not like anything in my life has drastically changed like moving back here was. but i just notice my reluctance to start the day, my difficulty to concentrate during it, the nighttime routine of ‘i failed today yes i’m a disappointment’. it’s odd...i feel like i have no control. someone else has taken the clock and is dragging the minute hand to just speed up every second and i can’t think. my thoughts race every second even if im sitting down and next thing i know it’s three hours later and i hate it. i started up running to help my surgery recovery process and even that doesn’t feel like control. this looming surgery date is good and bad. it’s giving me a lot of free time..that i don’t need. i constantly feel like i should be doing something even though i don’t really have a task to take my mind off anything anymore like job searching. it’s almost made me feel useless like i’m a sitting duck. and then i have so much anxiety about my capability to re-enter the job market being out this long, especially after the surgery recovery. i don’t feel like i’m even average anymore like im the bottom of the barrel in terms of skills so i keep trying to stay with them, doing small projects, but it’s not enough.

anyways. i’ve thought about seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist when i first came here, as my prev ones recommended, but with the pandemic i pushed it off and it’s so intimidating trying to find one, now that i’m not given about 6 options like at uni, i’m just supposed to find one now and try 20 questions to see if they’re actually right?? the thought of going through the awkwardness and distance of zoom appointments too, i felt uncomfortable with it even when i knew and liked my doctors. so, i felt like if i told myself i could do it on my own, i could do it on my own. but everyday i have this nagging feeling that i’m just putting pretty icing on a moldy cake, so i deny and avoid that with social media distractions, of course. i have this overall sense of just feeling like shit and the only thing keeping me afloat in the days are people not even around me, people in my phone, especially moments with noor. often, i think of just shutting off my wifi or my phone and ghosting, but it isn’t even fair to them to do that and it never was - without at least forewarning. because tables turned, i worry like hell on top of missing you. so i woke up today feeling at the cusp of a break and was going to send noor a text about it and to just let her know. and although a big part of me wants to just disappear, the other part so attached to people now doesn’t and knows it wouldn’t do me any good but let me wallow in misery (she’s got the self-realization now yall) and what would that help? especially now being at home where i can’t stay in my room for a week and come out like a crab just to eat (just kidding, i do that anyways). i think the gravity of how much i’ve been avoiding and denying that i need to do something was brought to light last when i mentioned to my sister, after i kneeled down for something in pain, that i can’t actually sit on my legs like i can sit 90 degrees only but anything lower and my thighs experience so much pain it’s like my body is screaming not to go lower. i haven’t done the tashahhud position in salah properly for months and i don’t want to sit in a chair because i feel like that’s cheating like i can move just not that position. my neurologist gave meds - which i took for a while but kept forgetting to establish a routine & my dad said i didn’t need them so i questioned it more - and a physical therapy prescription and i’ve done nothing with it. partly due to covid but i also just feel like a burden, that something is actually wrong again. i dont know...as if my brain should be the only thing everyone needs to worry about now. but my parents were talking about how i might need physical therapy after surgery and how they might bring someone in and something about it just makes my skin cold. i don’t think it’s necessarily fully my disdain of depending on someone for my needs but i just have this vision of struggling and having everyone know it. like i won’t be able to do it in private anymore, it’ll all be out for someone to watch and they’ll want to do something to help and they can’t. that goes with any of my surgery recovery - especially the pain and discomfort. okay, i’m getting away from my point now...

i went to sleep quite early last night because of my mood and probably because i slept at 6 am the night before. but i woke up today and was like i feel like shit and this is definitely depression that i’ve had. so i took my phone and searched “psychology before after surgery” (got the point across ok) and god, the results. i don’t know what i was expecting.  

“Why Aren’t We Talking About Postoperative Depression?

Depression can occur after even a minor surgery. But doctors have noticed that people who have the following procedures often have depression afterwards: Heart surgery, especially coronary artery bypass graft Plastic surgery Gastric bypass surgery Brain surgery...

The most significant risk factor for postoperative depression is pre surgical depression or anxiety. In fact, anyone with a history of mental illness is at greater risk for postoperative depression.

Possible Causes of Postsurgical Depression: Postsurgical pain Surgical results don't match expectations Problems with anesthesia (i’m using steroids but) A biological process Increased dependence on other people

Disappointment in one’s own body and health can also factor into postoperative depression. People like to see themselves as strong and healthy.”

you get it. immediately, i felt two things: frustration at not even guessing this would be a thing and fear. fear, because i have had thoughts of most of these causes being an issue for me before i even read this. fear, that all the trying i’m doing now to be okay won’t be enough and i genuinely will see my worst days. fear, that i won’t make it. fear, that i’m not strong enough to overcome this if i’m struggling with it badly right now. fear, that i’m not strong enough to recover like i want to. fear, that i made a mistake in choosing to do the surgery being careless enough to not consider this. so much fear my body crumbled under the weight. 

of course, it’s treatable. so where does this leave me right now? congratulations! now you’re caught up on why i opened this document and decided to type. based upon reading about my avoidance to fix my issues with the right methods, i think we can guess the solution here. oh look! it’s writing itself into the cloudy sky. 

xoxo big brain girl (just not mentally)

done crying now so time to start my day yayy!

#asiya's thoughts #yikes #do i read this for typos

[surveystodestressme]

85.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 22

2001. Can you believe that we have only gotten through two fifths of this survey so far? i believe it 2002. What is your opinion of Dave Coulier? i have no idea who that is 2003. If you were to a write a Choose Your Own Adventure book, what would it be about? horror 2004. What was your best find from a flea market, garage sale, ebay or thrift store? huh? 2005. What do you not have enough money for right now? a new car

2006. Do you believe that Teras for Fears were right when they said, “Everybody wants to rule the world?” eh 2007. What is the design on your beach towel? i don’t have a beach towel 2008. What stirs something deep and animalistic inside you? mean fucking people 2009. Have you ever cross dressed (even as a joke)? no 2010. Do you own anything with a rainbow on it? yes lol my boyfriends mom buys pj pants for everyone on christmas and this year she got me rainbow pants with minions on them....... i’ve NEVER even seen despicable me 2011. What would be the worst object for a child to take on a long car ride with you? a loud handheld game 2012. What’s the Best Beatles song in your opinion? help 2013. Why do you suppose that diary sites are more popular with females than males? idk 2014. What do these color combinations remind you of: orange and pink: ice cream pink and green: fruit green and gold: nature purple and gold: idk gold and red: royalty red and white: america blue and grey: the beach 2015. What is one selfish thing you tend to do? let people buy me stuff 2016. When do you think technology will catch up with the Jetson’s? idk 2017. What made you laugh today? my lab partners 2018. Do you ever stick your entries in any of the diary circles? no. 2019. Can you freestyle rap? i could try but it wouldn’t be that good 2020. Are you: stylish? somewhat shiek? huh? smart? i think so 2021. Do you find you self only buying brand name products? i do not care about name brands 2022. Would you ever want to buy an article of clothing or an accessory because you saw a celebrity wear it? i don’t pay attention to celebrities enough 2023. What song do you feel the sexiest dancing to? buttons by pussycat dolls 2024. Who do you know who looks silly when they dance? my dad 2025. Sweaty sex or clean sex? a lil bit of both honestly 2026. Which is more important to you: being kind or being right? i mean both honestly. 2027. Can you do any special dances like swing, tap, or ballroom? i used to do tap 2028. Are you scared of monsters? nada 2029. Who would you like to remind people of? idc 2030. Do you walk to school or do you bring your lunch? neither???? 2031. Rate your skills from one to ten (10 = you are the best at it): socializing: 5 making friends: 5 working with computers: 5 arts: 7 crafts: 7 dancing: 2 skating: 6 talking other people into things: 8 writing: 9 living life to the fullest each day: 5 cooking: 3 gardening: 2 cleaning up after yourself: 9 playing poker: 1 surviving in the woods: 3 managing your time: 8 attracting the opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer)? 4 2032. Have you ever been to an indian reservation? nope 2033. What is going to happen tomorrow that you can celebrate, even if it’s a little thing? idk 2034. Do you save things for special occasions or is everyday a special occasion? i save things. 2035. What is one thing you are terrible at: saving money 2036. What’s your favorite: rap song: love the way you lie country song: we danced industrial song: idk. cover song: cant help falling in love with you punk song: idk odd song: cotton eye joe 2037. What do you get your teacher or your boss for the holidays? not a thing lol 2038. Do you like to read books by Virgina Wolfe? never read any. 2039. What is your favorite tv show from when you were a kid? spongebob 2040. What is now proved was once only imagined. - William Blake. What do you imagine? the future. 2041. What has been passed down through at least two generations to you? nothing 2042. Do we live in a particularly bad age for romance? i don’t think so 2043. Have you ever cheated on someone? nope Do you believe that once someone is a cheater they can never be trusted? yes 2044. Have you ever gone: christmas caroling? nope pumpkin picking? yeah on a hay wagon ride? yes on a romantic valentine’s day date? yeah to a new year’s eve party? a couple times to a memorial day parade? yeah to the Macy’s thanksgiving day parade? maybe in the past to search for gold coins on st patrick’s day? no. 2045. Have you ever done any modeling? nope 2046. Would you consider yourself to be psychologically damaged? not that i can think of 2047. How aware are you of the reasons behind your actions and words? very aware 2048. What is the sickest you ever drank or drugged yourself? i haven’t had any really bad experiences tbh. it’s always a shitty time when i’ve thrown up from alcohol but i’ve never blacked out. 2049. Would you prefer it if clothing was optional? no lol. 2050. What is one interesting fact about you: i collect shot glasses 2051. Are more people depressed because they are alone, or are more people alone because they are depressed? they’re more depressed bc they’re alone probably but there are way more complicated reasons as to why people are depressed 2052. Have you ever gotten a mug, t-shirt, key chain, etc. that was personalized with your picture? no lol 2053. What was the last thing that you experienced for the first time? i don’t know 2054. If you were going to die tomorrow and you were leaving a postcard for someone to read after you were gone what would it say? i dunno. 2055. If you were about to be executed what would your last request be? tell my family that i love them 2056. What kinds of people do you find intimidating? too many people lol 2057. How much conviction do you have in your feelings and beliefs? quite a bit. 2058. In your house where is the: crazy glue? in the junk drawer flashlight? above the snack cabinet 2059. Out of everyone you know who has the most personality? there’s plenty of people lol 2060. If you could go back in time to experience a musical movement or era, which one would you choose to live through? none 2061. Do you suffocate people with your love? sometimes 2062. Do you feel your life is charmed? no. 2063. What character do you identify the most with from Winnie the Pooh? piglet 2064. When do you do your best thinking? in the shower or on the toilet 2065. What motivates you? food 2066. Look back at all the people you’ve dated. Has there been a pattern? not that i can think of 2067. Things change but what will always remain the same for you? i don’t know 2068. Is divorce something you would ever consider or do you feel that marriage is permanantly binding? i would preferably not get divorced. 2069. What’s the strangest movie you ever saw? the abc’s of death 2070. If you could go into virtual reality and set up your life there to be perfect and it would seem real but not be real would you trade your life now for the virtual life? it’d be cool but no 2071. Does it seem like life is more difficult for you than for anyone else? nope 2072. What are you grateful for? everything i have. 2073. What was a choice that you didn’t want to make but you had to? idk. 2074. Have you ever had dental surgery? no. 2075. At what point exactly are you grown up? when you  have bills and you feel like you’re drowning 2076. If there was a weight loss procedure that would destroy your ability to taste food so you wouldn’t be tempted by junk food, would you have it done? absolutely not 2077. What is one thing that happened that you never expected? finding someone i love who actually loves me back 2078. If you called one of your friends and they said “It’s nothing personal but I don’t want to talk to anyone right now,” would you take it personally? nah, i’ve had moments like that too so i can understand 2079. What is your favorite girl’s name? i don’t really have one 2080. Do you ever feel guilty for being more fortunate than others? not really. 2081. If you had to wear a shirt with one word on it for a year, what word would you choose? kok 2082. What is evian spelled backwards? naive 2083. You drop 10 pounds of feathers and a ten pound bowling ball off the top of the same building. Which will hit the ground first? they both weigh the same, sooo both 2084. Even though you may never get what you want, are you happy because you’re trying? yes 2085. If you started a petition what would it be about? idk. 2086. When was the last time you asked someone to do something and they said no? everytime i ask jack to do something he says no but does it anyways 2087. Do bad things happen to you on friday the 13th? not that i know of. 2088. What’s your favorite: Madonna song? - John Lennon song? - Michael Jackson song? billy jean Doors song? - Rolling Stones song? - David Bowie song?- Elvis song? cant help falling in love with you 2089. If you had started a relationship with someone and they said that it would be best if no one knew about it just to see how it goes, would you be offended? it depends ig but id feel like they just wanted to hide me 2090. Do you know any self defense? not really How about CPR? i know the concept of it but ive never really practiced or anything 2091. If you had to look into a mirror and see your naked soul stripped of all delusions and pretenses (Never ending Story style)could you handle it? maybe 2092. Are you a genius? no. 2093. How did you find out that Santa Clause wasn’t real? i got a letter from ‘him’ and the handwriting was the same as my dads 2094. Which is your favorite tarot card? i dont do that shit 2095. Does the internet separate people or connect them? both. 2096. Have you ever written a letter to a soldier? my brother and my sister and some of my friends when they were all in the military 2097. Does pain and fear make you feel alive? to a a certain degree 2098. Are you: good looking? yeah thin? no. happy? yes successful? not yet confident? for the most part 2099. Are you decisive or wishy washy? in between. 2100. Do you feel pop stars should be morally responsible to set a good example for their fans? it’s nice but they shouldn’t be obliged to.

#bored #quiz #questions #survey