#yes these will go up for download at some point this month | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artsyjedi · 1 year

Text

Life on its form

Any driver x fem!ooc (only mentioned as she)

WARNINGS: driver dies, there are references to depression (mentions of giving up). HEAVILY ANGST - if you find something else, let me know.

Also there's probably some grammar mistakes here and there.

A/N: it's the saddest thing i've written in a year but I couldn't waste the idea. Hope you enjoy :)

From books to movies, love seems to be this enormous thing that works like missing pieces from a puzzle.

Love is supposed to fulfill the empty spaces.

And is very common to hear people say: “It takes effort, and sometimes it’s tiring. But it’s worth it.”

So, during every single relationship, she tried. She tried her best to make it work – because that’s what it takes, right? To some she was loud, to others she was more of an introverted. Fun but not funny, you know? At one point, to one of her partners, she was just enough. She never got too angry or too sad or too happy.

Her partner loved when their friends talked about her. About how good she was, how they wished their own partners were like that. She never complained when he went out with his buddies, wasn't jealous when he got too close to another woman. She was a good girl. His good girl.

It was tiring. But… love requires that. You need to give to receive. And they were good. They were also enough to her. Even when they got mad, like mad-mad, everything was just fine.

For four whole months, they had planned this trip to enjoy the always so beautiful and fun European summer. When the day arrived, they simply said she should go alone, that they weren't on the mood and would be a terrible company. And, on top of all that, they said:

"You should go alone, make friends. It's gonna be good for you. For us, you know? To be apart."

Great. She thought. That clearly meant the relationship wasn't on its best moment. Ups and downs (even though it was more downs than ups). That’s what relationships are made of. No need to think any deeper.

So was right there, on that small country on the northen coast of the Mediterranean Sea, that she learned that love is actually simple and effortless. It comes, stays and requires nothing.

He taught her that. All he wanted from her was sweet nothing.

What was supposed to be a four week trip, became two months. And then three. Between somewhere here and there, she texted her now ex to let them know she wasn't coming back.

All her friends and family thought she had lost it. Who ends a three years relationship because of some random person they just met? They truly thought she had gone mad (to which she responded: yes! Madly in love!).

Was after a great night where they lived, laughed and loved, that he told her he was a Formula 1 driver. She imediatly wanted to cry. Not because of fear of everything being too much, or because he started to ramble about his plans with his ever so excited smile.

She cried because, for the first time in a long time, she felt safe. It didn't matter what would happen, if he was famous, if she would need to deal with all types of people.

He had her. She had him. Nothing else mattered.

When they had to leave the little world they had created during those months and go back to reality, all they felt was deep and raw love.

And then the months became a year. Then a year and a half. And then two years. And then they were living together. What started with a small space on his drawer, became a full section on his closet.

When routine started to catch up, during times where her work demanded more and so did his, with more and more races being add to the calendar, they decided to create a sort of system. Something silly. Something them.

They downloaded some apps for couples, so when they couldn't be together, they could still do things together. Their favourite was one where they could draw. Also, at the end of each day, they would write down to each other those detailed text messages talking about all things.

He also started to leave notes on the pockets of her clothing before leaving. Sometimes he would write poetry, something to make her laugh, or some sort of reminder of how much he loved her. He also loved to leave things with the notes: small gifts, from jewelry to chocolate.

No matter what happened, she knew it would always have something.

But it’s been three months since his accident. Three months she hadn’t found a note, the drawing app widget is nothing more than a white empty board and there is no more detailed messages.

She hadn’t attended the race that weekend, having too much work to do. They did made plans for going to this fancy restaurant he always wanted to try, though. Such a shame they never made it.

Would be a lie to say she remembers much from the days after the news. Actually, she barely remember the day itself. She knows she was the first to get to the hospital, that she was the one to call the family (both hers and his), and then talk with the team.

Some said they were sorry, some tried to find something to blame trying hard to sooth the situation.

But that was life on its form.

Even if it had someone or something to blame, what difference would make? He wasn’t coming back. She wouldn’t hear his laugh anymore, or his tantrums, or his rambling. She would never see again the way he used to lean against every surface he could, or how bad he was at hiding his emotions.

She would never touch him again.

And grief it’s different to every person. There’s no right or wrong way to feel it – as her therapist said. People feel what they feel when they feel and there's nothing you can do to change that.

She accepted easily, better than she thought she would, at least. She did got depressed on the first days, of course, but she kept on going. Always foward.

For first week of her work vacation, she went to her family house. No one dared to say anything. She was laughing, going out with old friends - what was surprising, considering they were sure she would give up.

But that's something she could never do.

She does have something to live for. The memories of every single moment they had together, good or bad, are worth living for.

Now it's been two days since she came back. The apartment is so quiet she allows herself to wonder why she didn't cried yet. From the balcony, she sees the sun making its way towards the line where the sky mets the sea. In a few minutes, it'll also be gone.

She smiles. Once, her therapist asked her "in one word, and just one, describe your love and why"

She answered that their love was just like the ocean. Not because it's unstable or deep, as some people say. She chose the ocean because it's endless and most likely, it won't ever go away. Now thinking better, she should've had chosen waves instead of ocean: always moving, always coming and going but never dissipating completely.

And that’s what their love is: something that will never just go. Now, some days she feels more, some days she feels less. But it’s there.

With this thought, she decides to change her clothes and do something she's been doing her best to avoid: to wear the last cardigan he bought. It was during that week, it came inside of a beautiful box and he had smiled saying, "i have great plans for this one".

Making her way to the small beach in front of their building, she takes a deep breath and fels that stupid feeling again. The one that puts her on the edge of something that never comes no matter how hard she tries. As if there's something waiting right around the corner.

The sky is now a mix of purple, pink and orange. It's beautiful. The wind becomes cold while she just stands there, feeling the sand wrap her feet. The waves crash, coming and going and then coming again.

It's when a bird flies too close to her that she puts her hands on both pockets. A reflex. Something so normal but that means a lot, specially when she feels one of her hands brush against something.

And there it is. She finally went over the edge, finally saw what is around the corner. Her eyes gets watery, she can feel tears falling down her cheeks and sees the wet dots being created on the sand. She laughs. Suddenly life is less heavy.

Her body almost gives in, but she manages to sit properly. With another deep breath, she sees what he left for her.

Two years ago, during a race week on the US, they managed to scape go to Santa Monica. He insisted on going to the photo booth and she hated every single one of the pictures. He told her to chose one to keep, the others could go.

And he carried that one with him everywhere. Either on his wallet or inside of his helmet.

And now the picture is on her hand, wrapped in a small paper. She's sure it was already there when he gave it to her, and when he kissed her goodbye for the last time.

On his crap handwriting, was written: a memory for you to keep until I come back.

Seing the sun finally disappear and the moon rise on the other side, she reliases she created another memory for her to keep on living for.

571 notes · View notes

tspud-whiteboard · 1 year

Photo

[Full Previews, Final Files and Extras can be found on GoogleDrive!] !!! THE DEADLINE HAS ARRIVED !!! (End of June it was) I am currently working on putting together the final files, but as this might take a while, YOU CAN STILL KEEP SENDING ME YOUR FELLAS! Once I’ve prepared the actual, finished, fullsize versions, this pinned post will unpin itself and I’ll put a different one here, with the final previews, the download links and some information what the future may hold... maybe I’ll do a Season Two if the interest is there. But we’ll have to see about that. For now, [SUBMIT MORE] like the wind while you still can! Hello, hello! Welcome to The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe Whiteboard Collaboration (a just-for-fun fan project)! I’m assuming that you found your way here because you’re well aware what The Stanley Parable is, and that you are curious to know what a Whiteboard Collaboration might be about!

Let me cut straight to the case then. It all started in 2023 - the 27th of April, to be precise - which just so happened to be the One Year Anniversary for the release of The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe on Steam and consoles, along with the historically very important and internationally renowned - or at the very least grudgingly accepted - 4/27: STANLEY DAY!

To celebrate the occasion, and only one day too late on the 28th, an idea came forth to put together a Whiteboard, containing all those Stanleys by all the fan artists out there (all credited, of course!), a worthy tribute to the Man of the Hour! And as you can see... we’ve already got quite a few collected!

But why stop there? Since plenty of people also came up with their own Narrator designs, and there’s a good few Timekeeper-Settings-432s and Curators, and plenty of other characters (defining the term loosely here), we might as well give them all their own little space to look absolutely dashing next to each other! Imagine, all those different designs, united in one glorious collection!

My point being... I’d love to see yours in there as well.

So... how can you join in?

The gist can be found up there in the first image, but let me also put it into text form down here, with some extra information:

[Submit] your Stanley, Narrator, 432 or Curator mugshot (or all of them at the same time!). You have [some other canon TSP favorite]? Go ahead, submit ‘em, too! We’ll find a spot. The format of the picture needs to be 300px (width) x 400px (height) to fit with the others. I can resize and cut them into shape if needed, but it’ll be easier on all of us if I don’t have to do that. All pictures will have a small white frame added by me afterwards, to give them that authentic printout flair.

Should the [Submit] button not work for you (I triple-checked and it works for me, but then who knows what this thing does while I’m not looking), sending your artworks through PM or tell me where you posted them is fine as well!

AUs and all art styles are fine! Please only submit one picture per character (if you have more than one design, maybe pick your favorite, or elegantly squeeze them into one picture. If you absolutely cannot decide, sending two pictures per character is okay, but I’d like to cap it there to give everyone equal amounts of space.

Must be Safe For Work!

This is also very important: Tell me how to credit you! Your name will go under your artwork, I do have to put something there. I’ll likely default to your username if I have nothing else to go by, but it’s best if you directly tell me, right there in your submission.

I will publish your submission(s) on here as soon as I’ve added it to the queue, so you’ll know it went through okay, and so you can show it around to others if you wish! (I can’t do that with PMs, of course.)

THE DEADLINE: Please try to submit your artworks before the End of June! Yes, 2023. This month. In this year. There’s a chance I’ll change this if a sudden influx of new entries rolls in, but as of now it looks like it’s a good time to start wrapping this up. I want my life back and all. ...But prove me wrong, why don’tcha? Why not tell your favorite TSP artists that they NEED TO BE ON THIS THING? NEED TO! WE CRAVE THEM, PRECIOUS. ...Sorry, got carried away there.

I give updates regularily. Previews of the latest Whiteboard statuses, questions that need answering, sometimes I might just add some nonsense rambles, all inclusive, for free.

The FINAL files, whenever they’re ready, will be 8000x4000px in size each and are mostly a much bigger version of the previews, with maybe a few small changes for the aesthetics.That’s quite massive. Humongous. It’s really impressive to browse all those artworks next to each other at that size. Here’s the [Google Drive] link, for all to download from and share around. So far, you can always find the latest Previews and a bunch of random Extras there, along with the first fullsize Stanley board as a test. Please do make suggestions if there’s better options, or if you can’t drive the Google.

I also post on Twitter and the Crows Crows Crows Discord server (fanart channel). If either of those are more comfortable options for you, or if you know someone on there who might also be interested in joining this collaboration, maybe poke me so I can give you directions. Or you might be able to find it yourself, I’m not actively hiding them away. Not even passively.

I think that’s all for now! If you have questions, suggestions, reservations, my Asks should be open. Looking forward to hopefully a lot more additions to the Whiteboards, there’s quite a few of you guys I’d loooove to see on there!

#HowTos and FAQs #Status and Previews #The Stanley Parable #TSP #TSPUD

227 notes · View notes

maladaptive-day-dreams · 1 year

Text

WLW Hotline

Robin Buckley x SW fem!reader, smut 18+, 2k words

I might've downloaded Quinn Audio Er0tica annnnd might’ve stumbled across a guided masturbation audio that made me think of Robin calling the WLW part of a phone sex line🥵it's about time I wrote and posted something so hereeeee ya go [alsoooo there's potential for a part 2 if the ppl want it so pls lemme know if you liked this and want a continuation!! ty!!]

Part 2 • Part 3

CW: reader knows it’s Robin but Robin doesn’t know it’s reader (idk what warning that would fall under but it’s a warning), guided masturbation, eager sub!Robin, mommy kink, nervous Robin but then she gets into it

Tags: @lightvixxen <3

You’ve been working at this phone sex operator for going on three months now. As one of the few out queer people in Hawkins, job hunting was hard until you convinced the boss here to open up a WLW hotline specific for fem bodied people, curious women, closeted women and other out queer women in town (if there were any).

Unfortunately, most of the people who called in to you were men trying to “fix” you or see what’s so special about your line. Every now and again—though it felt rare at this point—you’d get a woman or fem bodied person and your long nights would be worth it again. Plus you had some regular callers, none of whom would give you their real name of course (for privacy’s sake). For the regulars, you’d come up with a nickname to use on all their calls. Your favorite of them was Bunny. An older (like mid 40s), closeted queer woman who’s hubby is shit at making her cum so she calls you after he’s passed out naked in bed.

Another regular is Sweets, a trans man who hasn’t been in a relationship since he socially transitioned. He moved to Hawkins from Wisconsin so he could start over where no one knew his old self.

And recently, more young women (20s-30s) have been calling. Usually for one-and-done calls out of curiosity, but still every call meant a better paycheck. So when your coworker Patricia said there was a new girl on the line for you, you assume she’ll be another curious Cindy like the rest, until you hear her voice.

You pick up and start the call like usual. “Thanks for calling the WLW Hotline, how long of a session would you like tonight honey? Quarter, half or a full hour?”

“Um. Half please?”

Your heart dropped at the voice on the other side of the phone. It was Robin, one of the few out women in Hawkins. You would know her voice anywhere considering how close friends you’d been when you first moved here. But then the fall after she graduated (that past summer is when you met her) she made a move on the band girl she was crushing on and they dated for two years and you were forgotten. Only getting small smiles and head nods when you happened to see her in town. She wouldn’t know you were working here since you’ve not talked for a year and a half.

You know that it’s wrong but you’re the only WLW worker and there is a voice changing filter on your phones so she won’t know it’s you. Plus, you haven’t spoken in so long, and you probably won’t seeing as she’s with someone.

“Half it is. We don’t do names here so you can call me whatever or whoever you want to help you get there. As for my name for you, what would you like? Darling, love, honey, sugar, baby?”

“Oh, um I didn’t think about that. Uh,” Robin mumbles nervously. “I guess baby will work? Or whatever comes naturally for you?”

“Baby is the most natural, we can go with that,” you smile into the phone. “Before we start your time is there anything you want me to know going in to this session? A reason why you’re here, any kinks you want incorporated, anything off limits for dirty-talk?”

“Well, uh, my ex broke up with me about two months ago, and I haven’t been able to, um,” she pauses.

“Masturbate?”

She chokes back a laugh, “yeah. I haven’t been able to get there.” She says, emphasizing the last word.

“Would you like to role play or do you want a guided masturbation?”

“Guided?”

“Yes. Guided as in you follow my every direction and let me take control in making you feel good, but it’s your hands doing the work. Or you can imagine it’s someone else’s.”

There’s silence on the other side of the phone for a moment.

“I, um, I think guided masturbation, please.”

“Alrighty then, I’m gonna go ahead and start the time now if you’re ready?”

“Yeah,” she breathes out a heavy breath.

“Are you gonna listen to my every word, baby?” You ask in a sultry, dominating tone. “Gonna let me take care of you? Guide you since I can’t be there to help?”

She breathes heavy again, “yes.”

“Are you comfy where you are? Maybe in bed? Or on the couch?”

“I’m in bed, on top of the covers. I didn’t want to get in yet,” you can hear Robin’s nerves through the phone.

“Good, good. You’re comfortable then. Why don’t you lie all the way down, get situated. If you’ve got your pajamas on already why don’t you strip down for me, baby? All the way or you can leave your underwear on, whatever you’re comfortable with okay?”

You hear shuffling on the other side of the line and wait a few minutes until the movement stops.

“What do you have on?”

“Nothing, I’m, uh, naked.”

Fuck. This was going to be harder than you thought. You swore that your feelings for Robin were over shortly after she stopped talking to you once she got together with her now ex, but knowing she was naked in bed on the other side of this phone? The pit of your stomach was full of butterflies, you know this will be one of the few calls where you’re gonna end up with wet panties and a need for your vibrator when you get home.

“Good girl.”

“Fuck.”

“Oh you like that baby? Like it when I praise you like that? Being so obedient and doing as I say, you’re so good.”

“Yes mommy.”

Robin and a mommy kink, that will definitely be fuel for your own masturbation session after your shift.

“Why don’t you put the phone by your ear for me, ok? I want you to have both hands free for this.”

“Ok.”

“Good good, now I want you to run your fingertips from your shoulders, down your sides slowly, and then once you reach your hips, bring them up your stomach and above your tits.”

You wait a few minutes, listening to Robin’s heavy breathing through the phone.

“Did that feel good baby?”

“Yes,” she breathes.

“Good, now I want you to softly circle your tits with your fingertips and brush over your nipples ok? Play with your nipples for me baby. Let mommy hear what it does to you since I can’t be there.”

“Fuck, mommy it feels so good,” she moans, and it’s the most glorious thing you’ve ever heard.

“Good girl, now give your nipples a nice pinch for me.”

You know she does as you say because of the deep intake of breath you hear through the phone.

“You’re doing so good for me baby, listening and doing just as you’re told.”

“Mmph,” she whimpers.

“Want more?”

“Please,” she begs.

“What nice manners you have,” you sigh, panties growing wetter with every sweet whimper and moan Robin let’s out. “Go ahead and trail your hands down to your pussy.”

She huffs a sigh of relief.

“But don’t touch.”

She groans impatiently.

“Ah ah ah, do as I say or I won’t help you.”

“Sorry sorry, please.”

“That’s better. Trace your fingertips just at the top of your mound and down the inside of your thighs. Do that a few times.”

You pause and mute your end of the call so you can let out a shaky breath and change how your sitting so you can sit on your leg, putting pressure on your own throbbing center. Unmuting yourself, you ask, “all done baby?”

“Mhm,” Robin groans.

“Alright you wanna show mommy your pretty little cunt? Wanna let me hear how wet you are for me?”

She breathes out the softest yearning of a “yes.”

“Go ahead and point your knees out and spread ‘em for me so I can see your pretty pussy. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes mommy, I did it.”

“Good baby, now take one hand and trail it town your stomach to your mound ok? Now I want you to use your pointer and ring finger to softly go down your pussy lips and then once you get to the bottom, use those two to open up your lips for me, lemme hear how wet you are baby.”

And you actually do. A shuddering breath from Robin and the wettest, dirtiest of squelches to follow it.

“Fuck,” you drop the curse so quickly, grinding your own pussy on the leg tucked under you.

You hear Robin’s heavy breathing by the phone again, “did you hear?”

“Shit, yes baby I did. Did you put the phone by your pussy just so mommy could hear you touch your wet cunt?”

“Yes, isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Yes it is,” you smile at how eager to please Robin is when she’s horny. “So good at following directions, I think you should be rewarded.”

“Please,” she begs through a moan.

“Yeah? Wanna be rewarded for being such an good obedient girl? For making mommy so wet she wants to touch herself with you?”

Dear god, if you weren’t at work you’d be riding your own hand while tell Robin to ride hers.

“I think you deserve a reward, do you wanna cum? Want me to let you touch yourself until you come for me?”

“Mommy, yes, please,” she huffs.

“Ok baby, I want you to play with your pussy until you cum. That same hand that’s still on your wet cunt, I want you to use your finger and get some of that sweet wetness and bring it up to your clit, ok? Play with your clit for me.”

“Ok, do you wanna hear me play?”

You bite your lip to hold back a moan, wishing to high heaven that these phones were cordless so you could hide in the bathroom and touch yourself to the eager lil baby on the other side of the line.

“I don’t need to hear your wet pussy, I want to hear those pretty little sounds you make when you play. Don’t hide those sounds from me okay?”

“O-Okay,” Robin huffs as she plays with her clit. “Fuck it feels so good mommy, you make me feel so good.”

“Yeah? Want mommy to touch you when she gets home? Use her fingers on you?”

A whimper is the only response you get.

“Or would it be better if mommy used her mouth?”

That comment makes Robin moan “please” into the receiver and has you wishing this was real life and not what’s supposed to be an anonymous phone sex call.

“Yeah? How fast would you want me to fuck you with my tongue? Use your fingers, show me how fast.”

A breath hitch and fast, shuddering breathing lets you know that she’s started fingering herself. You can hear the faint wet noises of her fingers moving in and out of her cunt in the background of the call and you squeeze your legs together at the sound.

“C’mon baby, ride your fingers like you’d ride my face. Let me have it, gimmie all your cum baby.”

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum. Gonna cum,” she pants.

“Let go, cum for mommy.”

“‘m cumming, mmph. FUCK, YES Y/N fuck, oh fuck, fuck.”

Did you, did you hear that right? Robin came with your name on her lips?

There’s a small chuckle on the other end and then she says, “fuck, that was the first time I’ve cum in a while. Jesus, it was so hard too.”

You’re still processing that she was imagining you the whole time without knowing it was you.

“Are you still there? I wanted to say thanks before hanging up.”

You go back and forth with it but last minute decide to drop the voice filter to respond.

“Robin?”

The line is quiet.

“Y/N? Fuck, shit-“

And the line goes dead.

If she was ever going to talk to you again, she won’t now.

Shit.

259 notes · View notes

nykie-love-anime · 9 months

Text

Baby Come Back

Natasha encourages Y/N and Jake to go on a ‘date’ together while the squad takes care of the baby and their teens. Bradley takes Ally to the park and flirts with a cute girl, then brings back the wrong pram, and therefore the wrong baby.

Based on Good Luck Charlie Season 1, Episode 2.

Warnings: Cursing, loosing a child

“Hi, Ally. It's Natasha here your favourite aunt. So, right now, you're eleven months old, and everything is going great.” Natasha starts talking, looking into the camera. “Well, almost everything. Now, what I’m about to show you is kind of disturbing. It may give you nightmares in the future. So brace yourself Al.” Natasha goes into the kitchen with the video camera and walks past Javy. Bradley is sitting at the table with his earphones in his ears. Natasha pans in closer to Y/N and Jake, who are at the kitchen table making sandwiches and are talking like babies.

“Hmm, these sandwiches will be yummy-wummy in your tummy.” Y/N said talking to Jake in her highest baby voice. “Yes they will, yes they will.” Jake answers back smiling at Y/N. Natasha turns the camera back to her again. “Mommy and daddy have been talking like that ever since you arrived, and if it's not over soon, I’m gonna go queasy-weasy. All over the kitchen floor.” Natasha closes the video camera and puts it down on the island. Over at the table, Javy is yelling at Bradley. “Bradley!” Javy shouts waving his hand in front of Bradley’s face. “What?” he yells back taking out his earphones. “What are you listening to?” he questions the male as they look at Y/N and Jake who continuously talking in their baby voices.

“I downloaded a podcast on the history of boring facts and it’s currently on why people fear spiders more than they do death.” Bradley answers with his head tilting to look up at Javy. “You like stuff like that?” “A lot more than baby talk.” Rooster smiles as they both look at Natasha who rolled her eyes at the parents still busy making sandwiches for their trip to the beach. By the kitchen island Y/N hands Jake a box of cookies. “Would you like some cookie wookies with your snacky wacky’s?” “Yes I would, yes I would.” Jake continues the baby talk. Natasha is in front of them at the island chairs and points at the pram which is empty no baby in sight.

“Guys, Ally isn't even here.” Natasha noticed. “No, little baby is taking a nappy-wappy.” Jake smiles at Nat who just shakes her head. “So why are you guys still talking like that if she’s not even here?” “I don't weally know.” Y/N said looking down at the sandwich she was currently making. “I guess we're just fried.” “Well we fly all day, take care of the baby all night.” Jakes starts laughing quietly. “Work, baby, work, baby. I barely got time to make poo-poo.” “Well, when was the last time you guys had a night out?” Natasha asks and Y/N and Jake turn towards each other. “You know, like a date! Just you and Jake.” The tired parents look at each other seriously for a second but then burst out laughing.

“Natasha made a funny.” Y/N looks at Phoenix and through the laughter she answered Jake. “Funny-wunny.” “No, but seriously guys,” She starts with determination in her voice. “You know what Saturday night. You two. You go out, you have fun, and do something besides work and taking care of the baby.” Natasha walks over and joins the boys at their table.

“Well, it's nice to dream, really, but who is going to take care of Ally?” Natasha leans in between Javy and Bradley and puts her arm around them. “Hello?” Nat says questioningly. “You've got three great babysitters right here. And we will even do it for free.” Y/N and Jake stand in front of their team. “I don’t know, Natasha, it's a really nice thought, but we haven’t gone out without Ally yet and I don’t know about the guys looking after her, no offence.” Y/N says turning towards the guys and the boys just change the subject. “You guys want to see a magic trick?” “Sure!” Y/N said with a grin on her face. “Okay.” Jake agreed.

“Prepare to be amazed.” Javy says with his best magician-like voice, rubbing his hands together get ready for his best prank magic show ever. Coyote waits a second and then pulls the sheet off the table from beneath, the plates, cutlery and glasses goes flying of the table smashing everywhere all over the floor. Y/N and Jake pull faces at the mess. “I could use a night out.” Y/N walks off. “Clean this shit up guys.” Jake says pointing at the floor.

- - - Skip to Saturday - - -

Natasha is walking Y/N and Jake to the door as they get ready to go out. She is holding Ally with a smile. “So you guys have fun. Stay out as late as you want.” She starts with a smile before pausing for a second to think. “But not too much fun, we don’t need any more, little Seresin’s running around.” Phoenix said pointing at the four teenagers sitting on the couch watching TV. Jake laughs. Y/N pats Ally goodbye before walking towards the door. “Okay bye baby girl be good for Aunty Nat. Please look after the others as well and make sure they don’t just sit in front of the TV all day. Make sure they go out for a bit at least.” Y/N says stressing about leaving the baby alone but knowing she will be in capable hands.

“I'm serious.” Natasha said pausing Jake just before he can exit. “Okay, everyone. Be good, have fun. Love you.” Y/N said calling into the living room and the teens just grumbled goodbyes not wanting to be disturbed from their current favourite show. Y/N finally walks out the door, Bradley and Javy are on the couch watching something on their laptop not currently into the show on the TV.

“Yeah, yeah...” they trailed off uninterested. “Hey Phoe, thanks for doing this. It's going to be good for us have to have some special time together.” Jake moves towards the door waving goodbye to little Ally. “Be good my little girl we will see you later”

Natasha walks over to the couch, still holding Ally, to talk to the boys and the four teenagers lounging on the couch. “Okay guys, gals and no-binary pals. Who wants to go first?” Natasha questions looking at everyone in the living room. “I think you should go first.” Bobby the oldest of the kids answered. “Since this was your idea why don’t you spend the day with her.” Sam continued.

“Hey, I’m not doing this all by myself! You guys have to help out, your mom and dad agreed to go out with those terms.” Natasha said pointing at the kids along with Javy and Bradley. Rooster sighed standing up from the couch. “Fine I will go forth.” “There is no fourth. We all go.”

“No. What I meant; I shall go forth to the park to shoot some hoops." Bradley goes to walk out, and Natasha pulls him back by his hoodie. “If you want to go to the park so badly, then why don't you just take Ally? And take the little Seresin’s with you while Javy, Melissa and I go to the store to get food for later.” “Well what's a baby supposed to do at a park?” Bobby asks Natasha as he groans standing up. Natasha passes Ally into Bradley’s arms.

“Babies love parks.” She begins explaining “You can show her the duck pond...the blue, blue sky...the clouds... you choose what you want.” “We're just going to look at shi…stuff?” Sam cuts herself off before she gets reprimanded by her aunt. “That's what TV is for!” she complains just like her older brother. Natasha points to the door then at Bradley as if to encourage their departure.

At the park, Ally is lying in her stroller to the side of the see-saw area. Bradley is having a good old time on a blue swing set that he is far too big for. A young girl is waiting in line to have a go and is looking impatiently at Bradley as he swings back and forth shouting with enjoyment. “Yes! Whoa!” Bradley cheers swinging on the swing. “What are you looking at? I was here first.”

“Hey, you can ride that horse. I'd look silly on the horse.” The little girl just continues to stare at him. “Fine.” Bradley climbs of the swinging tyre as he walks towards the pram with the rest of the Seresin clan. Dropping down to Ally’s level he begins talking excitedly. “Hey there little Ally. Are you having just as much fun as I am.” He stands upright with a smile pushing the sun cover down and begins walking forward as the groups follows behind him. Just as they are moving forward a middle aged man runs through the park in a blue skintight suit. With a red cape flowing as he comes to a stop next to the group.

“Hey. Have yo-you seen a-a kids party around here somewhere? I'm the entertainment for them.” The man asks out of breath from just running across the park grounds. “I saw a jumping castle at the other end of the park.” Bradley points behind him and the man sighs. The man continues on his journey just as Sam turns towards him to ask. “Who are you supposed to be, anyway? Plastic man? Rubber man?” “Oh no, those are all registered trademarks.” He begins explaining. I’m Captain Joe.”

“So what's your superpower Captain Joe?” “Super elasticity.” Captain Joe walks off just as Bradley turns to walk away with the stroller and notices a beautiful young lady coming his way, with the exact same stroller. His face lights up as he is automatically attracted to her, she smiles at him in return. Bradley does a loop around her, bumping into a post, until he is at her side.

“Hi.” He says with a stupid grin on his face. “Hi.” She greets back. “I, ah... I like your taste in strollers.” He said looking at the duplicate pram and this causes the girl to giggle. “Hehe... Thanks, I like your taste as well.” She looks at Ally and with a soft voice. “Oh, wow! That baby is so adorable.” “You too.” Bradley being the sappy dumbass replies and she looks stunned for a second before going back to a smile on her face. “Oh, I mean... Your baby… the baby is cute too.” He stutters over his words and the Seresin’s all giggle at the display in front of them

“I'm Sofia.” “I'm Bradley.” He replies the starts pointing at Sofia’s pram. “And who is this little guy?” Sofia smiles at Bradley. “This little man here is my nephew. We're just out for our stroll waiting for his mom and dad to finish work. We do this every day.” “We as well.” Rooster said trying to impress Sofia. “Like I always say, babies love parks. Would you like to sit for a bit?” he said pointing towards where the picnic tables are.

“Sure.” She replied with a giggle. The two of them push their strollers over to the chairs as they sit. The rest of the group stunned not expecting this to go so well for the fumbling idiot. “So, I saw you talking to Captain Joe earlier.” “Oh, yeah the man was lost. Not much of a superhero, am I right?” “Oh yeah, he's the worst. My brother hired him for Tommy’s birthday. The fricking guy ate all the snacks that were provided for kids. And to make matters worse he sat on the cupcakes.” She shook her head still astounded at the memory of that awful day.

“That sounds awful.” Bradley shakes his head not wanting to image something like that happening to little Ally. “Oh don’t even get me started.” “That is so weird. I mean, he looks like such a quality entertainer.” The two of them chuckle. “You know, Bradley, I’m really impressed that you take your little one to the park. My brothers would never do anything like that.” “Well, she is my niece after all so I love going out with her, now her brothers and sisters not always.” Sofia and Bradley chuckle again. The rest of the group just scoffs and silently curse Bradley and his stupid charms.

Back home at the house, Natasha is sitting on the couch and Javy is standing in front of her wearing a magician's hat. “Now, watch closely. In this hand, I have a coin.” Javy says holding the coin to show Natasha. “And in the other hand, an ordinary egg.” Coyote takes off his hat and places both objects inside. “Now, I put them both inside this hat. Spin them around a little and ta-da.” Javy tips the hat upside down and just the coin fall out.

The silence that follows their cheers are interrupted as the Seresin clan along with Bradley bursts through the front door and Bradley comes walking through with an energetic persona, pram in front of him, a big smile on his face. “I love this baby!” Bradley exclaims with a massive grin on his face. “Any time she wants to go to the park, sign me the hell up.” Natasha stood up from the couch

“What on God’s green earth happened to you?” Bobby shuts the front door, and Javy and Sam lies comfortably on the couch cuddling each other. “Let's just say... Ally made a friend; Bradley made a friend.” Natasha look at Ally’s pram but smells something off.

“Oh, and did either you or your friend bother to change a diaper while out on your excursion?” Natasha takes the stroller and walks around the lounge. “There was no time for that.” He argues. “I was too busy talking to Sofia.” He sits down on the couch beside Melissa who is currently reading. “And who's this Sofia?” Melissa questions not even looking up from her book. “A vision... An angel... The girl who has my whole heart.” Bradley sighs dreamily.

“Bradley...” Nat panics looking into the pram. “What?” he questions with a stupid grin on his stupid face Natasha wanted to smack of. “You brought home the wrong baby!” she exclaims “What? I did not...!” he tried laughing it off. Bobby and James walks over to the stroller and are stunned as they notice that Natasha’s previous statement is true and begins oohing. “Bradley did bring home the wrong baby!”

“Mom and dad are gonna kill you.” “Take a look... Wrong parts!” Natasha says removing the diaper. As the four look inside the stroller, a big spray of urine comes out as if it was aimed directly for them. Thankfully they all dodged it, only just missing the stream. James goes to the join Melissa couch. Bradley and Natasha remain standing in shock as they come to terms with what has just happened.

“How the fuck could you bring home the wrong baby?!” Phoenix asks frustrated. “I'm very sorry, I got a little distracted...Sofia is really cute.” Bradley says grinning “Yeah?” Natasha say smacking Bradley on his forehead. “Well, so is my niece.” She says walking towards the door with the stroller. “Come on, let's go to the park and find her.” “Relax! I got her number.” He says with a grin

“Well, then what the hell are you waiting for? Call her! I want my niece back before Y/N and Jake gets home.” Bradley goes to get his phone from his pocket... But hesitates... Then sits down on the couch. “Wait a minute...is it too soon?” Bradley asks unsure. “If I call now, she'll think I’m desperate.”

“Oh for fuck sake.” Natasha mutters under her breath and the teens chuckles along with Javy. “You are fucking desperate man.” Coyote tries to help Natasha “Good point.” Bradley gets to his feet and dials up Sofia’s number, raising the phone to his ears as he talks. “Hello...? Is Sofia there?” he questions raising an eyebrow. “This is a KFC?” Natasha rolls her eyes.

“She gave you the wrong number man.” Bobby teased the brown hair male who sunk into the couch shocked. “Who couldn't see that one coming?” James continues his brothers teasing. “But... I gave her sweets... It was so romantic.” He mutters disappointed. “Well... What do we do now?” Natasha's phone starts ringing. She goes over and looks put off as she inspects the caller id. “Fuck man now of all times.” She whispers to herself

“Hey Y/N, what up?” she answers the phone listening to you speak on the other end. “Yeah, everything's going… great. Why wouldn't it be?” Nat fake laughs. “We're...we're just having a good time here with the baby.” Phoenix starts panicking. “Yeah, sure you can talk to him... her, her!” she holds the phone down to the pram “Talk to mommy Al...” Quickly realising she must make something up, starts making baby noises. “What do you mean that didn't sound like Ally?” she listens to you and sighs softly. Alright, bye... Say bye Ally!” Nat continues makes distant baby noises and fades it off as she hangs up the phone.

“Not that I’m in any position to criticize, but I was getting more, monkey than baby.” Bradley says with a smirk and this time Javy whacked him across the backside of his head. Natasha walks towards the door pushing the pram out of the house. “Let's go to the park to fix Bradley’s fuck up.” Phoenix says pointing at Javy. “Bradley since you decided to be an idiot you get to stay home with these guys.” Before he could protest Javy did it for him. “We don’t know what she looks like so maybe I should stay home so that Bradley can point out what she looks like.”

Natasha comes walking into the park, panicked, and pushing the stroller in front of her. Bradley and Bobby are coming in right behind her. “I don't see her.” Bradley says looking around. “Bradley, what did she look like?” “She was hot, literal angel but I don’t see how that matters?” Bradley ‘Dumbass’ Bradshaw answered and Nat sighs and before Bradley could go on Bobby cuts him off. “Maybe we should call someone.”

“Captain Joe!” Bradley exclaims. Pointing over to the other entrance of the park, where Captain Joe is still hanging out. “Who is that?” Natasha questions Bobby as Bradley runs over to Captain Joe. He seems happy. “You're still here?” “Yip every Saturday, all day long.” “Just the guy we needed to see. I think you can maybe help us.”

“Hey, man, I’m just an entertainer.” Captain Joe starts to walk off. The three of them follows after him. “No, you don't understand. I was talking to a pretty woman here earlier, and she said that you worked a party for her brother’s kid.” “So you have to be more specific? I've worked lots of parties.” “Where was the party where you sat on the cupcakes?” “Please Captain Joe. This is really important. We need to find her.” Nat pleads the man now in normal clothing. “Interesting situation. You kids need info, and I want food.” He says rubbing his belly

“Her name's Sofia. Did she come back to the park?” Bradley asks Joe. “Well...” he rubs his fingers together as though looking for money. “Maybe she did, or maybe she didn't. “Stop rubbing your fingers together and answer his fucking question man!” Natasha all but yelled at the man and Bobby just sighs. “He wants a bribe.”

Bradley mutters curses under his breath as he reaches into his pocket and gets out his wallet, passing Captain Joe a note. “Here, man now please give us anything you have.” “Yeah...yeah, I know the girl. She comes from a big family, eight kids. I’ve been a lot of characters for them.” “Magic Marvel?” Bobby questions grinning now all of a sudden. “Yeah!” Captain Joe answers with glee. “You're familiar with my work?” “Yeah!...And it sucks.” Bobby starts with a grin. “My uncle is just starting and he is a better magician than you are.”

Natasha eyes off Captain Joe as he scurries away. “Look, sir, do you know where she lives? Please this is important.” Natasha calmed down a bit and gives him a pleading look. “Yeah, it is around here somewhere. I'd know it when I see it.” “Great!” Phoenix grins. “You help us tonight, and we'll get you that plate of food you have been craving.” She says with a smile. “But only if you help us otherwise you are on your own here man.” “Yeah, I get it I will help you guys.” Captain Joe smiles

“All right. Come on guys, we have to go find her.” Natasha said walking towards the exit of the park. “Okay. Captain Joe, blast off!” He says in character and points his arms up towards the sky like a superhero and turns left. “Truck's this way my guy.” Bobby teased. “Oh, right...” he trailed of embarrassed. He turned around and followed the group towards their car. Embarrassed, Captain Joe turns around and follows the group out of the park.

Y/N and Jake are sitting a table in a really cute restaurant, looking at the menu. “Order whatever you want, honey. I get a discount here. This place is one of my family’s best customers.” Jake says proudly and you smiled at your husband. He could go on and on with family business. Across from where Y/N and Jake are sitting, there is a family that has a stroller next to their table. The baby inside starts crying.

“Aww, look at that it's a little baby in a pram just like ours.” Y/N sighs longingly looking at the stroller. “Okay, honeybun, this is supposed to be a night away from the baby, just you and I, so let's go back to us.” Jake smiles at his wife but can’t help but miss their little miss as well. “Okay. I'm back, I’m back! I’m just going to run to the ladies room really quick.”

“Okay baby girl be right back! Once your back maybe we can order some dessert, how does that sound?” Jake grins as she give him thumbs up and he returns it, Y/N rolls her eyes and continues on. As she passes the family’s table, she looks inside the stroller, smiles and continues past but then notices that the baby inside the stroller is familiar. She quickly turns back and takes another look. The family looks at her like she has grown two heads but all she can do is stare back.

Y/N now waving; awkwardly turns and smiles at the family still looking at her. “Ciao.” She smiles then pauses. “Arrivederci.” Walking towards the table angrily she taps Jake on the back, and speaks in a hushed, agitated tone. “Jake! Would you go over there and look at that baby? I think it's our little Ally!”

Jake in disbelief exclaims. “What. Baby what the hell are you talking about.” “You heard me!” she starts pointing at the pram. “That is Ally! Our little Ally is in that pram.” “Sweetheart, would you please sit down?” “I will not sit down.” Y/N sighs agitated all of a sudden. “A mother knows her baby.” She whispered. “And that is my baby girl right there.” “Okay, honey…” Jake trails off. “What do you think happened in the last hour, somebody went to our house, borrowed our baby, then brought her out for pasta?” Jake grins as he looks out your shoulders dropping

“I don't know. It's a big family.” She says still looking at the family across from them. “Maybe that's how they get their babies!” she says with a smile. “Sweetheart, please...” Jake begins laughing as he thinks over what Y/N just said. “I know you know how babies are made; we had a lot and I mean a lot of practice on how they are conceived. I think you're just missing Ally. And you're having a little separation anxiety.”

Y/N finally comes to her senses and she calms down, brushes her hair away from her face. “Oh, okay...you're...right.” In a high pitched voice she points to her head with a smile she muttered ‘crazy’.” The two of them chuckle as she sits down again. “I mean, that is impossible, right?” she mutters with a smile on her face. “Exactly.” He says with a teasing smile.

“I'm just gonna go to the ladies room one more time.” Y/N says standing up from her chair already looking towards the family across from them “Sit your ass down baby. Don’t make me pull you over my knee in the middle of a restaurant.” Y/N sits down again sighing.

“Now let's enjoy the rest of our night out.” Jake smiles pointing his glass towards her to clink. “At this very lovely restaurant. Okay?” “Okay.” Y/N nods agreeing to his statement. A waiter from the restaurant comes over and whispers something in Jake’s ear, while Y/N is distracted eating something from the entrée that was still on the table. Jake dismisses the waiter. “I'm needed in the kitchen something about the beef cuts being wrong.”

Out on the streets, Bradley is driving around with Nat, Bobby and Captain Joe around. They are looking around, calling out for Ally. Natasha and Bradley are in the front, Bobby in the back with Captain Joe. “Ally?” Natasha calls after rolling down her window and Bradley isn’t far behind. “Sofia?” but so far there is nothing but houses around them. “Ally?” she tries again even though it is useless because baby Ally can’t answer. “Sofia?” but to no avail she also does not answer.

“Marco?” Bobby yells bored out of his mind even though they are looking for his sister. “Polo!” Captain Joe follows and Bobby smiles before looking out the window again. “Bobby this is not fricking helping! Joe, does any of this look familiar even if it is just a little bit?” Natasha angrily sighs. “Maybe it does...maybe it doesn't.”

“Hey!” she exclaims and they all look shock for a moment at the loudness of her yell. “You are not getting any more fucking money out of us man please I asked you nicely the first time and now I am getting angry so please just help us or get out of the fricking car.” “Nat getting so worked up is not going to help bring her back we have to remain calm to think rationally.” “Your right sorry, but this is my niece we are talking about.” She begins calming down before looking at Joe in the mirror.

“Sorry Captain Joe. It’s just…her parents entrusted us to look after her when they go out for the first time in a while so I just wanted them to have one night of peace. Sorry for yelling I shouldn’t have yelled at you that wasn’t nice and you are trying to help us find her so it is all good.” “It is really not problem miss I would get the same if someone lost my baby/niece. No, all I meant I have a bit of night blindness you know. So all...all I’m seeing is shapes and trees.” He explained looking back out of the road.

“Why didn't you mention it earlier?” Bobby grumbled knowing Natasha is going to yell at Joe if she says something to the older man again. “Sorry but I needed a ride home. Stop here.” Bradley stops the car at the traffic light. “Okay well if you go down four houses I believe her brother lives there so hopefully they are home.” Captain Joe takes off his seatbelt and gets out of the car. “Night, Captain.” “Good night, Captain Joe.” Bobby says with a wave.

“Goodnight guys, again thanks for the ride and I hope you find your niece before her parents get home.” Captain Joe smiles before closing the door and walks into his house and out of sight for the group in the car. “Okay well lets go to that house and hopefully they are there. I really hope they are home otherwise Bradley you have to explain to Y/N and Jake you lost their baby girl on the one night they are out.” Natasha sighs rubbing her hand over her face to calm down her nerves. Bradley's drives towards the fourth house as mentioned but they all had a bad feeling as they see no lights on.

Getting out of the car they all go up to the door to knock. They waited a minute but no one answered. “Fuck.” Bradley mutters under his breath. “Now what do we do?” Bobby finally realising they are not seeing his baby sister anywhere begins panicking but Nat quickly pulls him into a hug calming him down a bit. “Well, can go look at the other side of the park we haven’t look there.” “Yeah,” Phoenix agrees. “But we can't just keep driving around all night.” They all but sigh. “Okay it's over. We have to tell Y/N and Jake.” “But...I…” Bradley started but was cut off by Natasha interrupting him

“No, it'll be okay. They'll know what to do. They always know what to do in these situations they are wonderful parents and we are awful babysitters and now Y/N is never going to let us babysit ever again. That is if Jake doesn’t kill us the moment he realises we lost his baby girl.” Bradley looks ashamed of himself, looking down all of a sudden as Natasha finishes talking.

“How the hell am I gonna tell them I lost their little girl?” Bradley pauses thinking for a bit. “I’m the oldest...I’m supposed to be the responsible one. They're going to kill me and I deserve it.” “Bradley, if it makes you feel any better...nobody thinks you should be the responsible one if you’re the oldest. They expect all of us to be responsible no matter who looks after Ally.”

Bradley takes a deep breath. “Why do I always mess everything up?” “You know what?” Bobby starts. “This could have happened to any of us but we're all in it together okay man.” “Thanks.” Bradley mumbled cheering up a little, looking at his friend and his nephew before driving off again.

Back at the restaurant, Y/N and Jake now have their dessert. There is a band of three people quietly playing Italian music with their instruments on the little stage, right next to their table. Jake moves his head to the beat, as he seems to enjoy it. Y/N, on the other hand, is sitting there with her arm on her forehead as though she is nursing a headache.

They finish after a few seconds more and Y/N claps them off, happy as they walk away to take a quick break. Not long after that, Natasha along with the pram, Bradley and Bobby enter into the restaurant from around the corner. “There they are.” Bobby points spotting his parents. “All right, let’s get this over with.” Phoenix sighs. “Do…do you think it would be better if we have the band deliver the news? Or are they going to know something is up.” “Well, if it's Italian, probably better for all of us. But we have to face them sooner or later.” As the band walks away from the stage, Bradley notices straight away that it is Sofia’s family sitting there. Bradley stops Natasha from walking over to the parents.

“Wait, wait! I don't believe it.” Bradley sighs relieved seeing the pram and a panicked Sofia. “That's Sofia!” “Oh, wait, so that's Ally? Because she does look stressed.” Natasha says hopeful. “Yes! We're so fucking saved!” “Not quite.” Bobby says as Bradley and Natasha have seem to forgotten one thing one big important thing...the parents. Y/N and Jake are waving at them. Y/N has a very happy smile on her face. “Hey, guys what are you all doing here?”

The three of them wave back with uncomfortable smiles. “What now?” “Ah...I’ll let you know when I think of a plan of action.” Natasha walks over to Y/N and Jake’s table. “Hi guys.” Nat greets them stopping in front of their table. “Hey.” Jake greets back. “Well, we just realised you must be missing sweet little Ally, so we...brought her.” Natasha points behind her with a smile. “Oh, Natasha. You're not fooling me.”

“I'm not?” she questions alarmed but not saying anything as not to get caught. “Nope you haven’t. You've spent a little too much time with Ally. And you're ready to hand her over to us early.” “Well, I wouldn't say too much time.” She cringed at the thought of them finding out. “Well, I am so ready.” Y/N sighs happy prolonging the ‘dy’. “So let me at her! Gimme, gimme, gimme.” Y/N starts to stand up to head to the pram at the door, but Natasha stops her.

“Y/N! Y/N! You're on a date why don’t you sit back down let me bring her to you.” “Okay...” she trails of looking at her best friend as if she has grown two heads. Natasha runs back over to the entrance where Bradley and Bobby are. Natasha leans over and whispers something in Bobby’s ear. “I want you to do what Uncle Javy did a few days ago.” She whispers.

“Here?” he asks surprised. Natasha whispers again. “Yes I want it to be messy right now.” “Now? Well, all right.” He says with a grin as he starts walking towards his parents table. Bobby walks over to Y/N and Jake’s table. “Hey mom!” Bobby greets his mom with a smile. “Hey, baby.” She greets back before Bobby turns to Jake. “Hey, dad.” “Hi buddy.” Jake smiles at his oldest kid who is like a carbon copy of when he was Bobby’s age.

“There is something I want to show you and mom.” He starts. “What is it, Bobby?” Bobby is going to do his uncle’s magic trick from a few days again. He reaches for the tablecloth underneath all of his parents food and pulls it right out. Food goes flying all over Y/N face, Jake’s clothes are a mess of red wine and dessert. Everything happens as if it is in slow motion. “No!” Jake yells. But it's too late everything is already a mess.

As this distracts Y/N and Jake from what is about to happen, Natasha quickly picks up the baby boy inside Ally's stroller as Sofia also takes the opportunity and pickup Ally from her brother's pram because she too saw the opportunity to get back her nephew in the chaos that ensues. Natasha runs over, almost bumping into the band who was coming back to their stage, and twirls around as she and Sofia swap babies.

Natasha runs back to Ally's pram and places her niece right where she should be, where she belongs. Bradley lets a triumphant grin cover his face as the babies are switches before either parent could notice. Natasha pulls the cover down and she quickly stands up, flicking her hair back behind her ear. Thankfully Y/N and Jake are still completely oblivious. Y/N looks angrily at Bobby, she has custard all over her dress and wine dripping down her face. Bobby tries to look innocent.

“And now for my next trick...I’m gonna make a teen disappear!” he runs back to the entrance of the restaurant. Bobby runs away quicker than ever and out the door. Bradley walks over and meets Sofia, who has been standing there for a while. “You know, you should be ashamed of yourself.” He begins with a frown. “You lead a guy on, make him think you have a really great connection...all to give him a fake phone number.” Bradley holds his phone for her to see.

Sofia who is currently looking at the screen notices a mistake. “You put it in the wrong last digit. That 5 is supposed to be an 8.” Bradley looks down now all of a sudden embarrassed. And Sofia can’t help but to giggle at the dumbfounded look on his face.

“Oh...my bad. So do you wanna get a table?” he questions and she smiles again. “Well I tell you what I am just going to finish my wine then we can get out of here before my brother realises I almost lost his baby boy.” Bradley can’t help but grin. “That sounds good can’t wait.” She waves goodbye as she turns to her table to quickly finish her wine then leaving her share of money for the bill and the joins Bradley at the door to go on their date.

“My widdle baby.” Y/N in a baby voice, greets Ally. “Did you miss mommy and daddy?” she giggles at her silly parents. “Yes you did, yes you did.” Jake continues his baby talk as well. Natasha is smiling now, probably from shock that they pulled everything off, that they did, without the parents realising they almost lost little Ally. “I never thought I’d be so happy to hear baby talk.” Natasha sighs in relieve while taking to herself when she realises no one is at her side. Y/N see she is holding a dummy that is definitely not Ally's.

“Nat, this isn't Ally's dummy.” She hands her the dummy with a racing car on the front instead of a heart along with a kitten. “Where did you get this dummy?” “Oh, hehe so funny story. You see, what happened was...” Natasha starts clicking her hands behind her back in a rush in hopes of getting the band to start playing again. Thankfully they got the signal and starts playing louder than they did previously. “It’s too loud I will tell you what happened later at home.” Natasha shrugged and Y/N and Jake just raised an eyebrow looking at each other.

- - - Back at the Seresin Residence - - -

Natasha is filming a video for little Ally. “Yeah so.” Phoenix prolonged the so. “Ally, now that you're home, safely, and everything turned out okay. Well actually just for you.” She clears her throat panning in on Ally playing in her ball pit. “It would've been okay for us too, but when we got home, your mommy and daddy started asking all these questions.” She sighs turning the camera back to her.

“And as you know no one really had an answer to their questions especially to the pee stain on the living room floor which not of your brothers, sisters of Uncle Javy cleaned up by the way.” She smiles into the camera before laughing. “Hehe so they got in trouble as well thankfully not just us.” Y/N comes into view of the video camera as she sits beside Natasha on the couch.

“And that's when the truth came out.” Jake cuts Y/N off with a smile as he sits next to his wife. “And all the kids and adults got into trouble.” Y/N says pointing a finger at the camera. “So, the lesson is, if you ever try to pull anything over on mom...well good luck Ally.” Y/N stands and walks off along with Jake, leaving Natasha all alone on the couch. “I really couldn't have said it better myself. Goodbye baby Al.” Natasha switches off the camera going to the kitchen to talk to Y/N and Jake about the punishment you guys have for all the kiddos and the adults.

Masterlist

71 notes · View notes

its-elvie-innit · 2 months

Text

realizing duolingo is NOT HELPFUL if you don't have a background in languages is so annoying because it was helpful Years Ago they just changed it so it's bad now. I took french for four years, and it's a romantic language so learning Portuguese which is in the same branch makes duo a pretty useful tool because I can point to "um" and "uma" and go ah yeah that's like le and la, and they're letting me know the genders by teaching me man and woman as the first words. But I WOULDNT HAVE KNOWN THAT if I didn't ALREADY HAVE BACKGROUND in a SEPARATE SIMILAR LANGUAGE and also duolingo is SHIT AT TEACHING ME FRENCH because I don't have ADVANCED BACKGROUND IN FRENCH THAT IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO USE DUO FOR, ACTUALLY.

Honestly I'm not even fully using duolingo for my Portuguese information it's literally just a memorization tool to get you introduced to certain verbs. You literally CANNOT understand anything without prior knowledge, so I am half note-taking, half verb tabling, and 0.1% cramming duo lessons for that memorization boost. Duolingo used to have a well of information not even hosted by the application, but instead was manually written by its millions of users to help others understand word contexts, and it was free!!!! Duo didn't have to pay shit for it!!!!! But instead they chose to throw away MILLIONS of comments and discussion links to reduce their shit server costs because bill whatever-the-fuck his name was decided he hates learning actually and fuck all your good information I need two extra dollars to afford a snickers bar in the downstairs vending machine. Look at my terrible owl tiktoks.

And I DOUBLE know this because I was learning hiragana in 2019 and I still remember how to sound out at least a few letters because I only got a couple months in, and they had at least a few good tools to help you understand process and learn the content, but then this week I decided I'd like to learn Korean so I started with the basic course and I can tell you right now it might possibly be one of the WORST english phonetic representations of the language sounds I've ever read. Just a little under half, maybe, of duos spelling work for the Hangul letters are completely incomprehensible because of the completely avoidable letter duplication for different sounds. I'll give you an example:

Do you want to know how these letters are pronounced? Here's your hint; both sound suspiciously like tah.

For an app that's supposed to be pretty accessible, I would think that spelling the phonetics right would be pretty high up on your list!!!! And yes, I'm very familiar with the very hard t-sounding "d" sound of some eastern European languages, but I am being so serious when I say whoever pronounced these recordings just said "tah" and "ta"!!! It is EXTREMELY hard to differentiate certain sounds, but the thing is these are not the worst offenders. Actually, the Hangul lessons? Yeah, not the letter system on the side? Those are worse.

These two characters are done in such a robotic sounding way that the only way you can differentiate the sounds is by carefully, CAREFULLY listening to whether the robot (?) does the tongue flick that causes the rolling r at the very beginning of the recording. Otherwise, it's SUPER hard. I would expect you don't mischaracterize the sounds but hey apparently getting a voice actor for character sounds is really hard. I guess. Hey, let me try look this up on YouTube actually. Oh, but for that I would have to download a whole other app to properly write out the words because none of my other apps have a manual writing system and I AM USING DUO TO LEARN THE WORDS. this should be ON THERE.

Not to mention this character, where the robot JUST says T. It says "tuo". The one that it represents? Deo. I would even call it an Italian passing accent. It's stupid.

This problem is occurring in multiple languages, I'm just pointing it out in Korean because it's so all over the place. There's a character representing "kye" that is just. Straight up a ch sound. That's all fine and dandy but there's another character, spelled with a different letter that represents a CH sound too and it's NOT k. It's all over the place!!!!

In my Portuguese lessons, I can say "homem" all I want and it's still not going to give it to me ever because the robot pronounces it wrong. It's the FIRST word you learn in pr lessons, and you have to pronounce it with an H sound HEAVILY. The robot doesn't do that, but it's the only way duo accepts it during speaking lessons when it picks up other soft sounds just fine. I only know this through trial and error. It does NOT tell you.

The only way I learn anything is through my note taking and it's so so sad because duo really used to be good. But taking french, a language I really love, is a pain because at least once a lesson segment, if not twice I will get a word that I don't know and have never been taught, that has never popped up before, in, like, a picture activity where it shows you an image and you have to interpret the right words, so you can't click and check what it means. And every time I'll report that I've never learned the word, but its not like it teaches me or anything after I've reported it, and you don't get to know what the word means until you get the question right so you might lose all your hearts in a lesson just for nothing, if you end up choosing the wrong option too many times. It's so unenjoyable.

It's not like duo can't be good, it can. It's a fun app! But you don't learn any languages past the first couple of words, without any grammar or base knowledge to start you off. It makes me frustrated knowing that the options available to me are limited bases on the sentence structure I'm already familiar with.

#duolingo #language #check the notes #french #Portuguese #korean #hangul

17 notes · View notes

tgmsunmontue · 11 hours

Text

Online & Anonymous 4/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradely's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008

2009 – Bradley

>>Have you heard of Grindr?

>>Why do we need Grindr, we have this…

>>Ha. So you have heard of it!

>>You can use Grindr to pick up outside of this messaging app. I think I’m going to sign up.

>>Also you can send and receive pictures, if you’ve got a good enough phone with a camera.

>>You want to see photos of me?

>>I wouldn’t be averse to seeing some.

>>Would you send me photos of yourself?

>>That would sort of be the point.

He’s never going to push, and also, the only phone capable is expensive, but god he really does want to see a picture or two of Jas. His imagination is fine, but he’s intensely curious about whether Jas lives up to his imagination. Not that he’s settled on any one image, they haven’t exchanged specifics, other than length and cut/uncut status. They’ve been talking long enough for Bradley to have picked up enough other clues. The way Jas talks, is from Texas and in the military, he’d bet that he was white, but sometimes he imagines darker skin under his fingers when they chat.

>>Do you have a type?

>>Yes and no.

>>That’s a cop out.

>>It’s also the truth.

>>My type is male.

>>I’m not that much older than you.

>>I’m still figuring things out as well.

>>So what have you figured out so far? What do you know you like?

>>A little bit of stubble, but not beards.

>>Muscular arms and thighs.

>>Close to me in height.

>>And confidence. The guys I’ve been with, where it’s been good? Like really good? They’ve been… sure of themselves. Their confidence was justified nine times out of ten.

>>Yeah? I’m going to take that as life advice right there.

>>You do that. Haven’t led you astray yet have I?

… … …

Grindr is different. It feels more risky, with putting photos out there, and having the location enabled. He leaves his face out of the images, matches with guys who do similar, mutually assured discretion and also deniability. While it might feel riskier, it is also so much easier to hook up. As time passes more guys download the app and the number of matches goes up. With all the dick pics he’s sent, he has seen more dick in the last few months than he has in the entire six years prior.

Sometimes the hookups are mediocre, rarely complete busts, but on the whole it works for him when he’s on leave. He occasionally looks when he’s not on leave, but he reinstalls the app and then deletes it in moments he knows are safe. He doesn’t trust the people around him to respect his privacy and not poke around, despite having a passcode on his phone. He still uses his laptop to chat with Jas through the website, and he realizes they could email each other and send photos that way. He could just get a free email account.

>>So. I bought myself a new phone.

Bradley reads the message, lets his breath out slowly, licks his lips and feels his entire body prickle with anticipation. This feels like a next step. And it comes just as he was about to suggest they exchange email addresses.

>>Yeah?

>>Any particular reason?

>>You know why.

>>Stop playing dumb.

>>Could have saved the money. Just had a thought that we could email each other.

>>How safe is that?

>>Anyway. I made an account. You want my user name?

>>Is it not 00JASTYX?

>>No. It’s not.

>>That would have been easier.

>>Are you going to tell me?

>>Nope. Think I might make you work for it?

Bradley laughs, shaking his head.

>>Contrary bastard.

>>You don’t think I’ve already earnt it?

>>Just thought you might like the thrill of the chase.

>>You can’t see me but I’m rolling my eyes.

>>Am I not worth chasing?

>>Kind of feel like I already caught you.

>>Exactly. So now you have to find me. I’ve tried to make it worthwhile.

Bradley’s mouth goes dry.

>>Really now?

>>Yep.

>>Challenge accepted.

… … …

He can’t spend every moment trawling through Grindr profiles. That way lies many things, including a potential dishonorable discharge if anyone sees him. He doesn’t stop to pay much attention to the photos, instead paying attention to the brief words. He knows how old Jas is and where he’s from and that he’s in the military. So he turns off the location, because he could be anywhere in the world for a start. There are hundreds, if not thousands. A needle in a haystack comes to mind and he knows why the location aspect is so important. He’ll persevere though.

Early 30s. Nope.

New York native. Nope.

Student. Nope.

Late 20s. Nope.

Athlete. Nope.

Fit. Well yes, he’d have to be, but he’s also Canadian. Nope.

Mid-20s. Southern boy. 6’1”. Good with words, better with my hands. Maybe?

He looks to the username then and it’s TJASX and he laughs. This has to be him and he looks at the first photo. Bradley stares. If this is Jas, he’s gorgeous. Or at least his body is. He’s known Jas is military for over two years, and hell, he might not be anymore. Although he suspects he is, body like that posing in the photos, face carefully cropped out to just show the hinge of jaw or column of his neck. His dog tags are even visible in one photo. He should tell him to remove that photo, because that photo feels like confirmation that this is definitely him. Bradley doesn’t know whether to admit that he’s also military, that’s safe enough surely.

>>Just as gorgeous as I thought you’d be.

>>Those photos actually of you?

>>Of course. Why would I use someone else’s photos?

>>Because people lie on the internet.

>>Are those photos yours?

>>Yep.

>>You’re hot.

>>So are you.

>>Glad you think so.

>>I’m serious, I was a scrawny kid. Had to bulk up but I’m always a little self-conscious.

>>Well you’re gorgeous.

>>Nothing to be ashamed of.

>>Want to lick you all over.

>>One thing though, you need to take your dog tags off if you’re going to be posting photos.

He pauses, thinks about what he’s going to type next.

>>I took off mine.

He sucks in a breath and closes the app, terrified but no idea why. He knows Jas won’t care, but it still feels like he’s exposing himself, baring himself to attention that he has avoided for the last few years. He taps the phone against his forehead, breath coming a little short and he opens it again.

>>Holy shit.

>>Nick?

>>Yeah. Hi.

>>You’re military as well?

>>Seriously?

>>Yep. DADT and all that.

>>Holy shit. That’s a weird coincidence, right?

>>Well, 1 in 10 roughly right? Just lots of people not telling.

>>Thought I could maybe tell you.

>>Thanks for trusting me I guess. That’s… it makes me feel a little less alone.

>>You know what I mean?

>>Fuck. Yeah. Sorry. I know exactly what you mean. I should have told you sooner.

>>Would have been nice. But I get it.

>>It’s not something you go yelling or sharing with anyone.

>>No, not just anyone.

>>I feel weird that I know all of this stuff about you but I don’t know your name.

>>Well. DADT right?

>>Do you want to know my name?

He’s nervous, because he will share his name with Jas if he wants it, even if he just gives him Brad, that’s good enough.

>>Nah. I think I’m good actually. I think of you as Nick. Maybe if you were a bunch of letters and numbers I might want something more like a name.

>>But Nick works for me. If we ever meet in person, then we can exchange our real names. Also don’t know if I’m ready to give you my name, which I know is probably hilarious to you considering all the tips you had to give me when we first started chatting online.

>>I think of you as Jas. Like Jace, short for Jason or something. So your random letters and numbers is a name for me too.

>>Oh. Huh. That’s cool. Think you’ll find my name funny if we ever meet up.

>>When.

>>What?

>>When we meet up. Not if.

>>Okay. When we meet up. You’ll still find it funny.

>>Wait.

>>Do you always limit yourself to only when you’re on leave?

>>Yeah. Pretty much. For in person that is. Not worth it otherwise.

>>You know my friend that I came out to?

>>Yeah.

>>I think he’s under the impression that you’re my boyfriend or something.

>>Well. I’m something, that’s for sure.

>>Ugh. Bad joke.

>>I meant that I’m at least a friend. That’s something, right?

>>Oh.

>>Yeah. You’re definitely a friend.

>>My hot single gay friend that I jerk off with on the regular.

>>Yep. I’d say the same about you.

>>Yeah, but you have more than just me.

>>Jas, how much time do you think I have to spend online messaging people? You’re pretty much it, and have been for a while.

>>Really?

>>Yeah. I’m going out and hooking up with guys when I’m on leave, and where I feel like it’s not going to implode my career. But I spend more time being deployed and chatting with you.

>>Oh.

>>You okay?

>>Yeah.

>>Did you think I had a whole bunch of guys I was chatting with?

>>Yeah.

>>Did a few years ago. You’re the only one I kept it up with. I enjoy talking with you as well as the sex stuff.

>>You’re the only one I ever talked to.

>>You’re allowed to talk with other guys. And hook up with them.

>>You don’t owe me your fidelity.

>>I am using Grindr to hook up, but it’s a one and done kind of thing.

>>Do you think if we ever meet up it’ll be a one and done?

Bradley scrubs at his face, doesn’t want to make false promises.

>>I don’t know. We might take one look at one another and hate each other.

>>I don’t know.

>>I want more than hooking up.

>>Yeah.

>>Me too.

#online and anonymous #Hangster #Sereshaw #hangman x rooster #Top Gun Maverick fanfic

12 notes · View notes

deadratio · 2 years

Text

Javy 'Coyote' Machado x gn!Reader Headcanon

You're married to Javy 'Coyote' Machado, but you're Jake 'Hangman' Seresin's ex.

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: One mention of sex, heartbreak - not a warning but no mentions (to my knowledge) of readers gender.

You met Jake when you were in your late teens after deciding to move from your small hometown to San Diego, California.

Jake was attending Top Gun, and was a few years your senior. You both decide to take things slow and get to know each other.

You spend the next several years into your early twenties dating Jake and traveling to wherever he goes. You love getting to explore the country and try new experiences.

After being together for so long, you think that Jake is ready to propose to you. Jake, on the other hand, is not keen on the idea of settling down.

Because of “your differences”, according to Jake, you break up.

You’re devastated, having thought that Jake Seresin was your one and only.

You move back to your home state, throwing yourself into your career.

You spend the next few years working at a start-up firm that eventually hits the ground running, with you being in their corporate field.

While visiting San Diego for a business conference, you go to The Hard Deck and run into Phoenix. You met her through Jake, and although you weren’t super close, you still considered her a friend.

You catch up with her, and she’s not surprised when you tell her that Jake broke up with you. She’s empathetic towards you, and eventually you decide to take a selfie together.

Phoenix shares it to her social media, which prompts Jake to see the photo.

You’ve already flown back home when you see a follow request from Jake on your Instagram. Skeptical, you accept it on a whim.

You had gotten over Jake a long time ago, but it still hurts to see that he’s engaged to a model-type who is way out of his league.

You follow him back, although neither of you interact with each other besides liking the occasional post.

Ever since you had followed Jake on Instagram, you’d made a point to be less active on all of your socials and focus on yourself.

Deciding to get back into the dating scene, you download a couple of dating apps.

You have a few dates here and there, but many of them don’t work out.

That is until you meet Javy Machado. He’s also a Naval Aviator, but he doesn’t act the same way Jake did.

You and Javy do long distance for a while before you decide to start working remotely so you can move in with him.

Life is sweet to you and Javy. Although he travels a lot for work, any time he is home he dedicates his time to you and your love.

After being together for a year and a half, Javy proposes to you, and you can’t say ‘yes!’ fast enough.

You’re both overjoyed, and only tell your close friends and relatives.

A few months after your engagement, you and Javy decide to elope in the Grand Tetons.

The pictures from your ceremony are stunning, and you can’t help but post a few photos of you in your wedding attire on your socials.

You leave Javy out of the pictures, operating on a consensual ‘private but not secret’ basis.

Phoenix and others congratulate you, but you can’t help but feel a little torn by the fact that Jake doesn’t like or comment on the photos.

You speak with Phoenix a short time later and find out he had called off his engagement and is living the single life.

Your conversation makes you realize just how invested you seem to be in someone else’s life.

You decide to delete all of your social media to give yourself peace of mind.

You spend your honeymoon in the Caribbean Islands.

The next couple of years go by without a hitch, and you couldn’t be more in love with Javy.

When he gets called back to Top Gun, you decide to stay behind because of some projects at work.

That doesn’t stop you from texting Phoenix, who has also been called back, asking her to watch out for him.

Phoenix obliges and gives you updates.

Once back on shore from the detachment, Javy is hanging out with the Dagger Squad at The Hard Deck when he reveals that he’s married.

Everyone is shocked, and they practically beg him to show them photos.

Phoenix can’t help when her jaw drops at the sight of you and him. Even though she knew, she was still surprised.

Jake remains silent, sipping his drink.

Javy can’t help but question it, but he doesn’t say anything to Jake at the time.

When he comes home, you’re so relieved.

Javy tells you he wants to invite the whole squad over to meet you, and so they can all get together during their leave period.

You’re more than happy to have company.

You spend the next several weeks planning the party and the dinner.

The day of the party, you greet everyone with an excited smile, hugs and laughs are exchanged.

You can’t help your disenchantment when Jake walks through the door.

Javy practically tackles him to the floor in a hug, which makes you realize how close they are.

You avoid Jake at all costs, spending time with Phoenix, Halo and Rooster on the deck.

Your stomach drops to your feet when Javy steps out, asking you to speak privately.

Jake had told him about your past relationship.

He asks you why you didn’t ever tell him that you had dated Jake. You can see the hurt in his eyes.

You choke up trying to explain to Javy that you didn’t tell him because Jake was the dark part of your past, and that you took years to recover from the emotional and mental damage it did to you.

Javy is understanding, and you both agree to be more transparent about your past, and your future.

You’re reluctant when Jake steps into the room and Javy leaves the two of you to talk.

You can’t face him.

He tells you that he still loves you, and he always has.

You can’t believe your ears, especially since Jake had been the one to split the two of you up.

You tell him that you’re flattered, but that quite frankly, he had lost his chance all those years ago, and that you won’t let him ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

After your talk with him, you spend the rest of the party in Javy’s arms.

Once the party is over, Javy and you have the most mindblowiing romantic soft sex you’ve both ever had.

When you wake up in the morning, you can’t believe how lucky you’ve gotten, and you can’t wait to see what the future holds.

219 notes · View notes

thatscarletflycatcher · 1 year

Text

A starter guide on Ubuntu-Linux, from a non-techie to other non-techies

Preamble (a.k.a. the story/rant before the recipe, feel free to skip or not as you wish)

Several years ago, I got a laptop for college purposes; it ran on Windows 10 with decent reliability for a few years, but then it started getting slower and slower, the bloatware (programs and apps that companies pre-install in your devices that you cannot remove) was just tremendously bothersome, my computer would start updating all of a sudden and be at it for hours, etc, etc.

And so my dad suggested I switched to Ubuntu (he had been using it for a few years himself at that point), and... I'm not going to lie to you. I was scared. Was it going to be too different? Wouldn't it require far more computer knowledge than what I already had? Wouldn't the learning curve be too steep? Wouldn't I be unable to do a lot of the stuff I used to do?

Years later my answer is: I don't miss Windows. The learning curve wasn't nearly as steep as I thought it would be. I got acclimated to the system within a couple weeks. There are parts of Ubuntu itself that aren't that up to date (mainly stuff about medium-advanced audio management, streaming through Discord, and semi-pro to pro levels of photo processing), but I have managed to work around most of it with little difficulty (the image processor I use for making gifsets is proprietary sofware --the code of it is not open for transformation by third parties-- but I can work with it mostly fine through a tool called Wine). If what you do with your computer is mainly internet surfing, document writing, listening to music and playing videos (and similar basic stuff) you are unlikely to have any problems working with Ubuntu. But the best, best, best part of it for me? No bloatware. No 8256754 attempts at getting my personal information or tracking me. My computer is fast, as fast as it was when I first got it (the couple times it broke in the last two years had nothing to do with software: it was first the hard drive, and then the fan). No computer deciding to update and leave me waiting whenever it wants. And honestly, that makes every little inconvenience I have faced in Ubuntu worth it, very much worth it.

Linux has a problem

And it is that a loud section of its userbase is made up by techies who have a very unrealistic notion about how much the average person knows about computers.

A few months ago there was a post making the rounds, where OP explained that you can put ubuntu in a pen drive and carry it with you (yes, it is possible and relatively easy to do) and there was a bunch of people in the notes explaining how much better it is to pick Linux Mint, or use a raspberri pi, as if people who don't know you can carry Ubuntu in a pen drive could understand what they are talking about.

My goal with this post is to explain some of the very basics in an accessible language. I will probably use inacurate and generalized language in it for the sake of explaining simply, and will focus on Ubuntu because it is what I know. If you are a Linux fan who loves Linux Mint or whichever other, go ahead and make your own post.

Definitions, yada, yada

So, what is Linux? in plain terms, it is an operating system (Windows and Mac are operating systems) with several variations called distributions. Think of it as Linux being like a family, and the distributions being the members of the family. Some """famous""" members of the Linux family are Ubuntu, Debian, and Red Hat. One of the main distinctive characteristics of Linux distributions at the basic level is that they are free software: it can be used, modified, and redistributed under certain conditions, by everyone.

Where do you get Ubuntu, and how to install it?

You go to www.ubuntu.com/download/desktop. There you will see two items: the first one is a "LTS" (long term support) and the other isn't. What is the difference?

Ubuntu releases a new version every six months, one in april and one in october. So, for example, the version released in april this year is Ubuntu 22.04, also named Jammy Jellyfish, and the one released in october, Ubuntu 22.10 is called Kinetic Kudu. Every two years, in april, a LTS version is released. Jammy Jellyfish is a LTS release. That means it has a 10 years stay, and is a stable, well tested and tweaked release.

What I'm saying here is, get the LTS release.

When you click download, you will see an ISO file of about 4gb. Save it to your hard drive, and get yourself a 4gb or bigger pen drive that is empty and you don't mean to use for anything else.

To install Ubuntu in that pen drive, follow the instructions here. They are short and simple, and the whole process shouldn't take more than half an hour (probably around 15-20 minutes).

Now that you are in possession of Ubuntu-on-a-stick, you can go ahead and reboot your pc, with the stick still connected. Usually the computer itself will recognize the system and open it, or ask you between the two options of system. This is not installing Ubuntu yet, but you need to be careful.

Next it will show you a menu with two options: to install Ubuntu, or to try it out. DO NOT CLICK ON INSTALL UBUNTU IF YOU STILL HAVE UNBACKED STUFF OR ARE UNSURE YOU WANT UBUNTU YET. It will format your hard drive and all of that will be lost. The try option, on the other hand, works from the stick and does not format your hard drive.

Try Ubuntu will allow you to see how the basic system would look upon installation, and it will also be what you'd use if you were carrying Ubuntu on a stick to use in other computers. You cannot really modify much there, but if you choose to install the system, it is very, very, very customizable. You can tweak it and add and change the position of menus, clock, desktop icons (At first I thought you couldn't have those because they don't appear there by default! But you can! You just need to add them yourself).

To install Ubuntu on your computer, follow the instructions here. The process, again, is described short and simple, it doesn't take long, and the thing itself guides you step by step.

It is possible to make a disk partition, and have Windows in one part of the hard drive, and Ubuntu on the other. I myself have never done this and don't know how it is done. But if you want to try that, there are many tutorials on the internet about how to do it, I just don't have a specific one to recommend.

A couple more things

Once your new system is up and running, and you are customizing it, there are a couple basic things to know that are helpful:

Between the programs that come with the system, there's one called terminal. Terminal allows you to write direct commands to your computer. For example, instead of opening a program from its icon, you can type the name of the program (for example, "VLC") in terminal, and it will open it.

Similarly, you have two ways to install programs: one, like windows, by downloading the package and opening it with double click, the other by writing in the terminal "sudo apt-get install [name of package]". Some packages will already be in the cloud in what is called repositories, and just by typing "sudo apt-get install [name of program]" terminal will download and install it for you.

Like Windows, Ubuntu will give you messages about updates being available; unlike windows, you can install those whenever you want, and they run on the background (you can use your pc while it updates).

Alternatively you can just update your computer whenever you want by opening terminal and writing "sudo apt update" and then "sudo apt upgrade". I myself do that every day.

There are a few programs like get-iplayer (to get stuff from BBC Sounds) and youtube-dl (to get stuff from YT) that work in terminal only.

Terminal is very cool and if you are like me it will make you feel like a hacker in a 90s spy movie.

www.askubuntu.com is a forum that has answers for everything you might face as a problem or challenge while using Ubuntu. It is great.

If you do give Ubuntu a try and have any relatively basic questions I can answer about it, feel free to shoot an ask or message me, and I will help if I can!

#Ubuntu #Linux #how to #long post

141 notes · View notes