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marlenesluv · 3 months

Note

Hello can you make lando x reader where landi first meet our reader as as drifting competition like someone tag him and he see reader one of contestant and he was like so shock when he he see reader do drift and be like fan-boy mode

Tokyo Drift. (LN)

hi! sorry this is a little late, i hope an smau is fine? lmk tho, i can make a little fic or hc too! i hope you like it!!

pairing: lando norris x drifter!reader!fem

summary: reader is apart of Formula DRIFT, and her fans ship her and lando. (sorry thats the summary, but enjoy!)

fc: emilia.nia

warnings: none

masterlist -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all posts! ^

liked by: yourbsf, olliebearman, and 91,108 others

y/n.user: check my insta story/highlight for a new drifting vid in tokyo 🇯🇵❤️🤍

view comments…

driftingvids6: the car😍😍

user3: hi *louder than everyone else*

ln4edits: @landonorris needs to watch her vids! she’s so good

↳ f1fp11: frrr @landonorris she’s the best

y/nfp.88: guys, drift mom posted

yourbsf: can’t tell whats hotter, you or the car

↳ y/n.user: my tires 😮‍💨

↳ yourbsf: omg true 🤭

cschili55: she’s so pretty!! and the drifting??omg

driftqueen7: marry meeeeee

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 982,194 others

landonorris: tokyooooo❤️🤍

view comments…

y/nsog.fp5: the red and white hearts? yeah, that’s our girls’ colors, we aren’t stupid mr. norris

user1: he went to go see y/n fr fr

f1updates: max and lando, our favorite duo!

maxfewtrell: i love it here

↳ landonorris: who doesn’t love tokyo

ln4quad4: cars cars cars 😍

driftingpage: who wants to bet that he went and watched y/n?

↳ y/nsogfp: BROOOO he def did omgggg

user8: now that max has a gf, lando needs a new wag

↳ drift4ever: @y/n.user ….

↳ user8: @y/n.user

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

landos instagram story:

seen by: y/n.user, danielricciardo, and 872,103 others

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

your instagram story:

seen by: landonorris, carmenmmundt, and 103,293 others

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Twitter:

Lando Updates @ln4updates • 3hr ago

Lando Norris is currently in Tokyo, Japan with Max Fewtrell and Max’s girlfriend, Pietra Pilao. Lando posted on his story with Y/n Y/l/n as well.

Y/n is apart of Formula DRIFT, she has been since 2019. She also drifts in Tokyo a lot with some of her friends!

Rumors are spreading that Lando and Y/n have been seen having dinner a few times this week🤔What do you think?

↳ DRIFT FanPage @fdriftfp • 3hr ago

I love Y/n and Lando so much, I think they would be a cute couple! My two fav drivers? Yes please!!

↳ Amanda @friendsenthusiast • 2hr ago

Y/n and Pietra content WHEN?!

↳ Landos Fits @ln4outfits • 2hr ago

They are really hard launching huh? But I’m here for it. I think they would be a power couple.

↳ Jackson Talks @jax99talk • 2hr ago

Sure, but…why do we have to ship them? I mean, I get they would be cute, but Y/n already has a bf. Me. So like, bye asf

↳ Gracie @gracietalksf1 • 2hr ago

LMAOOO you really got me for a second there, Jackson

↳ Jackson Talks @jax99talk • 1hr ago

Its not even believable, is it…?🤕

↳ Gracie @gracietalksf1 • 48mins ago

Nah, babe, it’s not 💓😍

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: landonorris, francisca.cgomes, and 158,127 others

tagged: landonorris, maxfewtrell, pietra.pilao

y/n.user: new york outtakes 😉

view comments…

landonorris: 😏❤️‍🔥

↳ y/n.user: 🤭❤️‍🔥

↳ maxfewtrell: gag me

↳ pietra.pilao: getting freaky in the comments??

user3: THE EMOJIS?? THE COMMENTS?? HELOO??

y/ndriftposts: our drifting mom is j hard launching rn guys

carmenmmundt: fits are always so good!!

↳ y/n.user: ty carm <3

↳ carmenmmundt: <33

ln4edits: UGH i love them already

f1wags: we’ve arrived. so..do we add y/n to the page?

*liked by creator*

↳ user7: Y/N LIKED IT???? OMG CONFIRMED?!

ogf1fp7: needed this today tbh

alexandrasaintmleux: prettyyy❤️❤️

↳ y/n.user: you you you❤️❤️

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

your instagram story:

seen by: landonorris, lilymhe, and 125,293 others

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: y/n.user, oscarpiastri, and 1,281,923 others

tagged: y/n.user

landonorris: my home in three different seasons ❤️‍🔥

view comments…

y/n.user: i love my f1 driver bf

↳ landonorris: i love my formula drift gf

f1wags: WOAHHHH SHES SO PRETTY IM FLOORED

y/nfp8: MOTHER!!!!!!!

danielricciardo: finally got a girlfriend?

↳ landonorris: yes, the best one ever

↳ y/n.user: 😁

↳ danielricciardo: cheesing😁

↳ landonorris: of course she’s cheesing😮‍💨

↳ y/n.user: 🤭

user2: in love with their love

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

684 notes · View notes

min-kit · 15 days

Note

The whole “Buddie buildup for seasons!” thing is so funny to me as someone who’s been watching from the start. The very moment Eddie appeared in the first ep of season 2 and talked to Buck (which was pretty charged and slightly negative) people started shipping them and demanding for them to get together based on chemistry alone, with no build up or backstory. It obviously continued as the show went on and more moments happened but as someone who shipped them back then they actually made MORE sense when the ship and chemistry was fresh imo, in seasons 2 and 3, and no one debated it as then. Now that Tommy appeared now suddenly it’s all “3939 seasons of buildup!”. Especially weird when there were some seasons where there was negative buildup for Buddie. Again, I used to ship them so it’s not like I’m against the idea but saying Buddie makes more sense than BuckTommy only because of madeup is BS.

warning: this is long!!

I actually came into the show with buddie goggles on. I think my first episode live was 4x4? It was either Future Tense or the episode RIGHT after Future Tense, idr which but I had a mutual or someone I followed on twitter who was really into the show & would share ppl's edits. Now I knew they weren't canon & even then I didn't need them to be (i like a good "queerbait" as the kids call it, tho i have arguments for what actually constitutes queerbait. I simply call it "shippable"). But as someone who went in knowing about their ship, I looked at EVERYTHING with those goggles on. So yeah I shipped them hardcore for those seasons. Then s6 happened and I packed my bags on that ship to ever actually happen in canon and resolved to watch the show a bit more casually season 7 onwards (and I would've done too had I not heard the rumors about bi Buck!! haha)

But I did start rewatching the series through the reactions of someone who did not have those goggles on a few months ago and it really shed some light on certain things. All that is to say, I do agree with you. If it was something that was ever gonna be done, during s2 & 3 makes the most sense. I think ppl forget that fanon is not the same as canon & things that work in fanfiction do not work in the actual canon world of the show. Now that Buck is bisexual, I do fully believe & adopt the headcanon that he had feelings for Eddie early on & just didn't realize it, but they developed fully into friendship.

I don't think they're going to make Eddie canonically queer too. I just don't. I'm not sure why I ever thought they might give both coming out stories (maybe it's because I watch a lot of Asian BL). Unfortunately, that is just not how network television works in America. The fact they made Buck queer 7 seasons in is already HUGE. I'm not gonna hang my hopes on what's probably an impossibility when I have this beautiful canon queer storyline happening on my screen already & I genuinely like Tommy & think he's the perfect LI for Buck.

I think here is what people need to realize too. Once again fanon =/= canon. There are no so many years of build-up. Unless and until they make buddie canon, those years of build-up do not exist because, currently, they're not trying to build anything up. Tim has said they aren't currently planning it, Ryan again and again has said how much Buck & Eddie's friendship means to him to see on television because you don't see male friendships portrayed that way (and you don't! especially not friendships between 2 "macho" men both in their 30s, 1 of whom is canonically queer. This too is an important storyline to tell).

People watch this show with buddie goggles feeling like they're owed these 2 to get together but that just isn't the case. Tim will tell the story he wants to tell & ppl viewing are signing up to watch THAT show. If you don't like that show, stick to fanon because that's something you can control.

And, one day, if they do decide to go in that direction (and I'm firmly in the camp they're not going to & if they do it's gonna be in the final season, but I truly think ABC wants 911 to be another Grey's Anatomy; something that can go on for 20 seasons so who even knows if these actors will want to stick around that long) it's not going to be the story of Buck & Eddie realizing they've had feelings for each other all this time. They won't be able to convince the GA of that. It'll be them falling in love for the first time on screen. But first they need to convince the GA that Eddie is whatever brand of queer they decide on (it's not going to be gay, I will say that right now. As much as I understand why people headcanon him as such & even agreed for a long time, that is not the reality within the show's canon. The show is not trying to lie to people about Eddie enjoying sex with women, they would make it more obvious for the people who don't sit online analyzing if that were the case. Personally I've started reading Eddie as aromantic but I know most ppl here would never be cool with that since it puts a damper on buddie too).

If people want to continue living in a delusional world where these things will for sure happen, then that's on them and is their right. Have fun with it! Fandom belongs to the fans. You can do anything here. But to get upset and angry because other fans might not agree, or the people in charge of the show don't go the direction you want? Well that's just silly. We are viewers (& also writers can NOT use the things fans say. They could get in serious trouble for that). You can be active in a fandom space, but at the end of the day, being a viewer is a passive job. The writers write the show, then they film it and put it out to the world & a viewer views it & enjoys the art that these hundreds upon thousands of people created.

And, also, there's a lot more passive viewers than there are active members of fandom. And people forget that. If every single hardcore shipper stopped watching right now, the views would hardly dip. They won't lose anything just because they decide not to make fandom's favorite ship canon.

#anon ask #not tagging this and hope it shows up nowhere lmao #either way im not budging on what i think so #ive seen way too many tv series to get how these things work #been in fandom way too long as well

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poruvoron · 5 years

Text

AAA I feel bad for being inactive for the last few days but I swear I’m making stuff :D

I’m dedicating this week to finishing the Mob May prompts on twitteroo and zine work

gonna repost them all when the week’s done~!

#im trying to go all out for shigeo til his bday #gonna post them all together in one post when the week's done!#its my first time taking an art challenge seriously lmao #you can view the current ones I already did on twitter tho~ I go by the same handle!#yushi.txt #ps I slept a lot and feel super recharged its like I can almost do anything

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ssamie · 3 years

Text

epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist. suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san.

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems.

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?!

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;)

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you"

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? 💀💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on.

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work.

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years.

barely.

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies.

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background.

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up

user: do you have a girlfriend?

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n.

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic.

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles.

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door.

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home.

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-"

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!"

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?"

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-"

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die"

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him

"oh my fucking god."

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt.

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency.

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet.

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness"

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel.

"why are you telling me this?" he asked

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered

"why? i didnt forget anything-"

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view.

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles.

"i hate it here" he sighed

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see.

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore.

"might as well say hi" she shrugged

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up.

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound.

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off"

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around.

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?!

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed?

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;)

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.."

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so.

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma

"im not surprised" he said

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him.

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;)

user: sana ol talaga punyemas

user: AYO CHILL

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his.

"kitten, were still- hmph-"

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush.

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet??

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat.

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya"

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers"

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?"

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined

"why not?"

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??"

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay 🗿

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend.

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered.

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer.

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes.

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said

"you're fucking dying!!"

"well, would you like to join me?"

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly

"for the love of god-"

this was so messy :/

195 notes · View notes

ofmermaidstories · 3 years

Note

Spoilers for the latest chapter of Something!

I'm gonna go ahead and apologize now because this is long; please feel free to ignore my wordy ass, I just have a lot of feelings about a certain someone that showed up in the new chapter lol.

I am still trying to get my shit together enough to write a proper review, but I did want to come yell at you for making the grape boy somewhat likeable, like...

Firstly, how??? Secondly, why?????!?!

Lmao, in all seriousness tho, it's nice to see him have a personality that isn't just "Mmmm, tits" *drools* I like to think that everyone in the series grows up and (mostly) out of the worst of their habits, and while Mineta is still a bit of a lecher here he isn't nearly as offensive/creepy as he comes off in show. In fact he's actually sympathetic in a lot way. The bit about seeing his first dead body before "getting laid" hit different like... He tries to play it off like a joke, but dude has to have just as much PTSD as the rest of them, maybe even more given that he wasn't able to fight back in the same way as someone like Bkg or Deku would be able to with their super powerful offensive quirks. They were all just kids, but they had to face hell full on from jump, and let me stop before I get too in my feelings lol.

In a lot of ways, he reminds of you the boys from school — crude. Taking for granted the safety from being in a pack, unchallenged. Leering at posters, saying off-colour things because no one corrects them.

That's exactly the way I view him, just a crude little thing that refuses to be put in his place for long lol. Still, with his being a hero I would hope that he keeps a cap on it while he's on the job--in fact I'm sure he does; if he didn't I'm sure that Aizawa would've yanked his licence by now, the likes of Deku and Kiri wouldn't continue to associate with him, and that's saying nothing of the shit that would get posted to social mead and such. I feel like the only reason he says what he says to the Reader is b/c she's a little gremlin herself and he knows he's got a bit more leeway, yanno?

The little hangout session that they had at the end of the chapter was weirdly heartwarming?? I want a friend(???) that I can be a surly little shit with and draw on and that will call my bf that's not really my bf but should be my bf because he's (that is Mineta) got more emotional intelligence than me lmao. Never thought I'd see the day when the grape would make for such an excellent wingman--tho I gotta wonder what that text he sent to Deku said. Probably something along the lines of "come get yo girl, she must be bored/lonely af because she asked to hang out with me" followed by "are you ever gonna close the deal or not? or have you already hit it??? >:)" just to give the guy an extra push (or maybe he's got a better sense of self-preservation than what I give him credit for, idk lmfaooo...)

Okay, this is WAY too long, I just had to get it out of my system lol. I loved the new chapter lots and I cannot wait to see how things play out in the next one!!

LOL, oh Puck, i adore you sdlkfjsdlkfjsdlkfj

me being a shit-stirrer/asking myself questions i don’t have answers for under the cut

Cat asked me this question earlier today, actually — why Mineta. And honestly? Part of it is the challenge he represents — like, how do you write him into a fic and mature him up so that he’s at the very least, tolerable, but also keep the backbone of his character (which is being a little degenerate). Like, is it possible? One of the most popular tags on ao3 for mineta minoru is something along the lines of “mineta minoru is replaced with shinsou hitoshi” LOL so…….. why didn’t I just use Shinsou? Or Aoyama or Iida, as Cat suggested? And beyond the part of me that delights in giving myself perceived challenges, there were two stark reasons that stuck out to me, when i was first mulling over his inclusion.

1) the fact that he can draw. it’s literally as simple as that. ever since the BNHA exhibition opened up in Japan and it was revealed that there was a scene in there with a class blackboard and the kids having their little drawing competition — and that Mineta was objectively the most skilled — i was like, “i have to include that”. LOL. it’s like you say, Puck, our Reader is a little gremlin herself — i thought if I was going to write a Reader that could handle interacting with him (ie, be in a position to pay him out) it was going to be this one. I think being in the manga industry and starting out on this journey of creating and drawing a Shonen manga sort of put Reader in this unique position of… being in what seems like a boys’ club? So she’d be used to the male gaze within her field. I follow Horikoshi’s assistant (former assistant?) on twitter and let me tell you, that man is not shy about the things that he likes to draw LOL.

the 2) thing was the philosophy i’ve sort of accidentally given myself LOL and that’s the fact that — as a Bakugou stan, if i’m giving grace to a character who was a literal violent bully then………. i can use my magic powers and hand it around to the other characters, too, LOL. and like, i would argue that with Bakugou it’s different, like we’re currently seeing in the manga how he has grown and learnt and is actively changing, which is the key to any kind of redemption. do i think Mineta will ever undergo that in cannon? absolutely not lmao, i see him as being being Hori’s idea of comedic relief, he’s always going to be a horrible little degen. but i want it for him…… if only to justify why the boys of Class-A collectively ignore his bullshit, for the most part? Like, none of them actively call him out on it?? i think of the time he tried to climb the wall to spy on the girls in the onsen — and how it was literally only Iida scolding him and how it took a child to stop him. Or the one when he found the stupid hole into the girl’s changing room and while the boys all looked grossed out….. Jirou’s the one that point an end to that?????? I saw a TikTok (derogatory) suggesting how like, none of the girls of Class-A would trust Aizawa, as adults, because he didn’t do anything to put an end to Mineta’s bullshit, and it was a devastating suggesting. None of us want to believe that our favourites would be passively okay with this kind of behaviour, right?? Which means……. Mineta’s gotta change LMAO. And if Hori isn’t going to do it then imma borrow him and do it myself. Does it work? I have no idea LMAO i can’t judge anymore, my meter is broken. but i’m gonna work with what i’ve given myself and it either will, or it won’t LMAOOOO kldsfjlksdjflkdj fic is about having fun at the end of the day. :’)

But it’s like you point out, Puck — Mineta is also a child, when these kids get trotted out to their first War. And he’s also not as offensively built as the hard-hitters like Deku and Bakugou and Shouto are. Even if it’s not explored in the manga, that War is going to change them all somehow.

So, my gameplan for Mineta was to grab ahold of the tiny things about him — the talent for drawing, the like one [1] observation he has about the wreckage of the war/pro heroes during the war arc, his tears for Bakugou when B wakes up afterwards and how he tells Deku how cool he was and how much he admires him, in the current Bring Deku Home chapters — and try to envision a sleaze bag who learns that the bullshit he pulls won’t be tolerated, even if he’s still ultimately a skeeze LOL. i mean, he’s never going to drop that er…. appreciation for the female form. and i mean, hey, live your best life King, i’ve distinctly noticed a hand-fetish floating around on this site lately so i’m not gonna be like “NO men can’t like ANYTHING”. But the thing with him being a sleaze and open with his leering is like, he’s actively made the girls of his class uncomfortable with that in the past — how do you write it so that he’s not doing that in a position of power with the women he works with (and saves!), as an adult?? Maturity only goes so far. How much can I bank on the war and the subsequent bullshit they’re gonna face from it on…. transforming him??? It shouldn’t be up to the girls he’s learning with to police him, they’re just children. I have a vague gameplan for it — whether or not it works will be one thing; whether i can naturally shove it into the fic is another, LOL. Guess we’ll see. 🧐

SAYING ALL THAT,,,,, i’m actually really glad you liked (???) the ending scene with him because it’s my favourite LMAO lkdjflkdsjflkdjfkldsjf. 😭😭 Reader is by no means perfect, and she and Mineta both need to start treating each other with more respect, but her bullying of him was fun to write and I like imagining a Mineta who considers himself to be close with Deku (whether or not Deku thinks the same is up for debate) going along with it. i could see this version of Mineta being enough of a shit-stirrer to say something like, “gotta lock that shit down” to Deku LMAO kdfjlkdsjflkdsfjdklsfj and then getting left on a skyscraper somewhere…. RIP short King.

#the puckish rogue: adventures and magic 🪄✨🔮#something just like this - fic #mer-spoils-everything #ofmermaidstories-asks #mermaids talks about 🍇#puck you are always thoughtful and lovely with your comments and i want you to know how much i appreciate them — but mostly how much #i appreciate you for existing in this world 😭 and how by chance we exist at the same time and like the same things 😭💕🌷

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trashballerina · 4 years

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Hetalia Fics I Really Like

this ⭐ will be for fics I really like. I’ll try not to star everything.

I’m starting with my favorite of all time and tbh I think the fandom should see this fic as a OG, like Auf Weiderstein Sweetheart or Gutters, I really do.

Are We Even Humans ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ (Literally all the stars)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4103344

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660761/chapters/25048773 (prequel)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7036330/chapters/16007758 (sequel)

The war is over, but putting together everything that fell apart will be a greater challenge than anyone is prepared to handle. Alliances dissolve, and the lines between friends and enemies are blurrier than ever before.

Opinion: Please read it. It is a series with a sequel and a prequel that can be read on its own but it’s so good. Imma go on a quick rant here. This fic is great from the writing, plot, characters, and the nuances of nationhood abilities. I literally rioted during the first chapter because it was so good. One of my absolutely favorite things in the fic and the series as a whole is Prussia. Kingdom of Prussia, German Democratic Republic, Gilbert Beilschmidt. His character progression and seeing him through the series as a whole is astounding. I was literally left shaken at the end of this series and I’ve read it twice. The OC’s are usually the antagonists, but hot damn, they are memorable OC’s who are great (terrible?) villains. And the family dynamics! The family dynamics are enough of a reason to read it by itself and the romances. Omg I love this fic so much. Main takeaways: astounding characterization, amazing plot, will cry, long read, and a reality check on what it means to be a nation.

Would it be too much if I did a separate post on how much I love this series and an in depth analysis? (I feel like such a nerd omg)

Hard Times Passing

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516458/chapters/56397817

Alfred is homeless during the Great Depression and in his wanderings he's charged with the task of caring for a small orphaned Taiwan. AU-Human names used, Taiwan is a child.

Opinion: So incredibly heart warming. It’s well written and I love the dialogue so much. Also, the little cameos from other characters are an absolute delight. It’s a it short, but so wholesome.

Flowers Don’t Grow on Battlefields ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14153106/chapters/32619954

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898919/chapters/39697068 (sequel)

As war tightens its hold on the nations of the world, new alliances are formed. Nobody will escape the war unscathed. Italy only hopes that this time, he will find a way to save those he holds dearest.

Opinion: I realllly like this fic. Maybe I’m a bit bias because I remember reading it from like to third chapter and watching it get updated till the end, but this is really good. Cute gerita, great characterization, good plot, and some lines just really make me melt. And the fluff omg. There’s a sequel that’s linked under too that I may like more than the first.

Who Knew (One Shot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516695#main

“The last time the two of them had any sort of contact was when Gilbert sent the letter to Matthew before the first war started.

That was twenty-six years ago. Twenty-six years Matthew had not seen Gilbert. Twenty-six years of Matthew worrying about if his fiancé was alive or not. Twenty-six years of Matthew thinking about all the horrible things that could be happening to Gilbert. Twenty-six years of Matthew wishing he could just see Gilbert, even if it were just for a second. Twenty-six years of pure hell for Matthew. Twenty-six years of being all alone.”

Matthew Williams, the personification of Canada, never thought that he would fall in love, but he did. He fell in love with Gilbert Beilschmidt, the personification of Prussia, but their romance would have to be cut short with the up coming war that was soon approaching them.

Opinion: My god my heart. Matthew had great characterization. Like amazingly so. 10/10 somber and melodic tones throughout the story. Good tension. And again, my heart.

TELL ME A PIECE OF YOUR HISTORY ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3741175/chapters/8294941#workskin

An account of the media reactions to the reveal of Nations (anthropomorphic national embodiments) with scholarly commentary.

Heavily inspired by: United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) [fallingvoices, radialarch] with mixed genres.

Opinion: It’s really cool. It’s told through media, like email, twitter, texts, online magazines, subtitles of videos (not actual videos tho). I love the outside view point of the world on nations and how some people really like them and how others absolutely despise their very existence. One of the main things that sticks out the me is the in depth analysis other humans or posters do on the nations and people even interview the nations, chapter eight is like my favorite for that reason, or how some humans just gush about the nations on so media like how half the fandom does lol. It’s really good. Super creative, great insight on how to world sees the nations, and honestly a great read.

Red Winter (One shot and crossover!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/909492

The Winter Soldier's new target: a Russian politician named Ivan Braginsky.

Things don't go as planned.

Opinion: Literally so cool. Like nations are total BS to outsiders, especially assassins. I was loosing it during this fic because from Bucky’s POV nations are something else. The writing is really solid and the author uses italics to highlight an action sound or word and even single-word thoughts. The fight scene is really entertaining but also it flows fantastically.

In Costa Rica (Oneshot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18614041

“You have this backwards,” McLaughlin said. “Everything. You have it all backwards.” He was a lithe man, looked to be in his mid-thirties. Schnabel leaned back in his chair. Outside, the afternoon rain started, and the frogs momentarily fell silent. “They are dangerous, aren’t they?” Two men discuss the nations and history.

Opinion: No actual nations appear in this fic. It’s just two men talking about the nations and it’s really interesting to see them humor and take seriously the idea of nations. They both discuss what they already know about the nations and theorize. Also hearing an outside perspective and how the nations effect the word around them is golden. I give this fic a big ol’ chef’s kiss.

Finally, I’ll Just Miss You! (Oneshot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15553608

Countries will be abolished tomorrow. For the first time, they breathe and realize this might be their last breath and they’ll never wake up again. They want to wake up, they want to go to sleep, the land will still be there when they’re gone. But they breathe, it won’t be the same- for once, they feel human.

Opinion: Bro, I swear I’m not crying. This one is short but really bittersweet and my heart really hurts. I like the snippets of insight on the characters.

Diamond in the Rough ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12872642/1/

The year is 1952, the last full year of Joseph Stalin's rule over the Soviet Union. After an incident with Latvia, Estonia is determined to find out what Russia did to him. And so unfolds a chain of events that would lead the Baltic States to tears, to forgiveness, to unexpected courage and horrifying discoveries about the mysterious past of Gilbert Beilschmidt. See AN for rating.

Opinion: This just be a legitimate book. I have honestly read this one like three time and every time I read it I am absolutely elated to discover another detail or action I missed. It is a longer read but I think it is absolutely worth it. For one, the characterization is beautiful. Maybe I might be bias because I stan and love the Baltics, but how they are written compared to the many other fics I’ve read on them is phenomenal. While the author does take some creative liberties and deviates from canon a little, like the Baltics actually considering themselves to be brothers, I really enjoy the changes. ALSO, the history and research and on this fic is genuinely impressive. To think fic authors do this shit for fun and pour so much of their passion into a piece of writing. Secondly, while Russia may be an antagonist in this story, I honestly think it is just. His mentality, backstory, and current predicament explain his behavior and make him a justifiable antagonist. I highly recommend this one.

Adieux (Oneshot)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6700886/1/

What happens to nations after they cease to exist? Do they simply disappear or do they get a second chance? It wasn't a subject Francis was particularly keen on finding out about...but at the same time, it wasn't something he could just ignore. One-shot

Opinion: I hate this fic because I love it way too much. I might of cried a little bit and I instantly melt of Francis and Matthew.

In Our Solemn Hour (incomplete) ⭐

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8975529/30/In-Our-Solemn-Hour

The time was World War II, at the dawn of a global conflict like nothing any of the Nations had ever seen before. Nothing could've prepared them for what lay ahead: a war more total and radical than anything they could ever have imagined. This wasn't just business as usual; it was centuries' worth of pent-up emotions all coming into play at once. This was indeed their darkest hour.

Opinion: Characterization is on point. One part of this fic I remember very well during a fight to the death, Finland mutters a little “Oh dear”. The characters retain some of the qualities that make them silly in Hetalia but because this is another take on it it does get darker. I think Germany’s portrayal is my favorite because he does cruel and unnesscary things and questions it because its not his usal nature. The author notes are super insightful and sometimes funny; it really adds to the rest of the story. I might revisit this post to make a more in depth opinion on it because I don’t remember it all to well when I know I really like this one.

So that was my post lol. I’ll probably make more on other fandoms later tbh or I’ll just make a part two. If you end up reading about any of these posts, please feel free to tell me about them! I love talking about fics and reading in general. Thanks for reading!

#hetalia #helltalia #fic reccomendations #fanfiction #hetalia fanfiction #recs #help i really love fanfiction

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brakken-spideyverse · 4 years

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Answerin’ older asks :)

Sorry some of these are so late! Answers below the cut

@everythingsucksbutthatsokay asked:

So what exactly was the nature of “the Baxter Building accident”? Is it similar to the set up in the Ultimate comics and Fant4stic movie, or something else?

Similar, yes. I wanted to play on the arrogant side of Reed by having him essentially say “hey, this cosmic ray siphon that would be highly dangerous if my calculations are even slightly off? I’m gonna activate it in the middle of a city.”

While it looks like a regular skyscraper from the outside, the top floors of the Baxter Building are only accessible to the four of them because the molecules are completely unstable.

@c0smicfool asked:

Hi so I got inspired by your redesigns and came up with my own redesign idea for Ben as Scarlet Spider, even if it’s not for the old contest or anything is it cool to submit it? Also love you’re redesigns and how creative they get with drawing on characteristics to create something entirely new

If you wanna just post it and tag me so I see it I’m more than fine with that! Always happy to see folks’ designs :) Also, if you have a twitter, tag me there! twitter.com/makeoververse

@mackysack asked:

Who's your favorite comic artist all time?

Of all time? Dang, uhhh.... first that comes to mind is Takeshi Obata, who drew Death Note and Bakuman. But for western comics, gosh - I really like Sara Pichelli’s work? Old Romita stuff is great. A lot of the Spidey artists over the years really, but I’m biased. I feel like I’m blanking on somebody really obvious.

If you want an off-field pick, Kelley Jones’ Batman art is top tier. If they make a Spider-Verse style movie of Batman, I want his work to be one of the main influences.

@avenger09 asked:

Outside of Spider-Man's rogue's gallery whose your favourite Marvel villain?

Magneto, probably! Not typically big on X-Men myself, but he’s rad. Will finish the character sketch for him at some point <.<

Anon said:

WAIT you can't just tell us you have an ASM3 script under your belt???? Now it's all I can think about???? By the way Electro looks amazing as does the rest of your universe but PLEASE OH PLEASE LET US SEE THIS SCRIPT!!!

Thank you! And yes I will share it eventually! It’s currently getting read by close friends for feedback but it’s something I’m sure I’ll show to y’all someday.

Anon asked:

How did Eddie and Peter know eachother before he turned into Venom?

They didn’t, so much. They go to the same school and I think Eddie crushed on Peter a little from afar, but he’s really just a tragic pawn in the Symbiote’s obsession. Viewing the black suit story as a toxic breakup, I see this version of Eddie as someone being used solely to get at Peter. An innocent who is thrown into the deep end of all the built up trauma and monster stories.

Anon asked:

Will Harry become a bad guy or still a good guy? Since in the your comics, it shows that he finally knows Peter as Spider-Man and already knows his father's secret identity.. will he? (Btw love your arts so much!!!

Thank you!! Harry would become a bad guy for a bit. He’s real hurt and confused by everything that happens and aims that pain at Peter. But he can heal, with time and the right company.

Anon asked:

here about the spidersonas in the spiderverse comic?

I did! That’s so cool that they acknowledged the fanbase in that way. Here’s hoping for something like that in ITSV 2? No-one’s called me about Abrakknid yet tho, ha ;_;

Thanks all, hope I can keep up a bit better with questions in the future <3

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taytootwisted · 3 years

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— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Jamel

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? :)

4. Are you easy to get along with? Ehh for the most part

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Fuck yeah

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? I like quiet men lol

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Wow I don’t think so

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? :)

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not really

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Tee

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Goodmorning

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Callin my phone, trackstar, off the yak, no more parties, goat

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yes, makes me sleepy

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Sometimes

15. What good thing happened this summer? We’re in a pandemic idrk

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Sure

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yes!

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No lol

19. Do you like bubble baths?ehhh haven’t had one in years

20. Do you like your neighbors? I’ve only seen him once in a year maybe twice 😂

21. What are you bad habits? Smoking & procrastinating

22. Where would you like to travel? The tropics

23. Do you have trust issues? Yeah pretty severe

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? The blunt I face after work

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Ehhh just wish I wasn’t as tiny

26. What do you do when you wake up? Wake up?¿

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Darker

28. Who are you most comfortable around?my family & friends

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yep

30. Do you ever want to get married? Nope

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes need a cut

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Hmmmm lol

33. Spell your name with your chin. It just clicks buttons

34. Do you play sports? What sports? I use to! Soccer, basketball, track & volleyball

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Duh

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing they don’t really bother me

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Tall dark handsome rich & kind & quiet & loves me more than life

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? I haven’t went shopping in so long I’m really crusty lol

40. What do you want to do after high school?HAHAHA

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone, but yes

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m in my thoughts

43. Do you smile at strangers? Sometimes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Let’s go to space babe

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Survival

46. What are you paranoid about? Nothing currently

47. Have you ever been high? Yep

48. Have you ever been drunk? Yep

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Nope

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Timmy Turner

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? A fatter ass but we working on it

53. Favourite makeup brand? Elf

54. Favourite store?

55. Favourite blog? Tumblr duh

56. Favourite colour? Yellow

57. Favourite food? Spanish

58. Last thing you ate? Noodles

59. First thing you ate this morning? Nada but I want chic

60. Ever won a competition? For what? One time I won selling the most cookie dough for school in like 6th grade 🤣

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? About 30 times, a bit defiant

62. Been arrested? For what? Shoplifting & weed charges

63. Ever been in love? Very much so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? I think I was like in 7th grade I met up w the boy I had a crush on to hang at the park he was on a scooter. We did a lil peck kiss lol

65. Are you hungry right now? Yes!! I want chic

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Don’t have any tumblr friends :/

67. Facebook or Twitter? Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Both

69. Are you watching tv right now? Nope

70. Names of your bestfriends? Tee, Bri, Ale, Mel, Kev,

71. Craving something? What?omg ur gonna keep asking huh CHIC

72. What colour are your towels? Pink, cream, flower print, brown

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Three

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 1 right now

75. Favourite animal? Cheetah

76. What colour is your underwear? Black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate chip cookie dough

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Blue

80. What colour pants? No pants

81. Favourite tv show? Wentworth currently

82. Favourite movie? Too hard

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Original duh

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 jump street lol

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory

87. First person you talked to today? Nobody yet

88. Last person you talked to today? Today just started

89. Name a person you hate? Nobody

90. Name a person you love? My mom

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Nope I’m good

92. In a fight with someone? Nope :)

93. How many sweatpants do you have? Probably like 10

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Probably like 10 lol

95. Last movie you watched? Something in Netflix I forget

96. Favourite actress? Nope

97. Favourite actor? Nope

98. Do you tan a lot? No I’m pasty as shit

99. Have any pets? Nope lonely lol

100. How are you feeling? I’m feeling good I think today is gonna be a good day

101. Do you type fast? Yea

102. Do you regret anything from your past? There’s one thing I wish I could go back & change

103. Can you spell well? I believe so

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse? No :/

108. What should you be doing? Nothing it’s 630 am

109. Is something irritating you right now? Nope

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes :/

111. Do you have trust issues? HUGE

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Uh...... the girls at the viewing

113. What was your childhood nickname? Birdy

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes

115. Do you play the Wii? I have

116. Are you listening to music right now? Nope

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yes

118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes!

119. Favourite book? Not sure

120. Are you afraid of the dark? No

121. Are you mean? Sometimes

122. Is cheating ever okay? No but it happens

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Yes

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes

126. Are you currently bored? No this is entertainment

127. What makes you happy? Food, love, money

128. Would you change your name? No

129. What your zodiac sign? Cancer

130. Do you like subway? Eh

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Omg this already happened I fucking snapped :/ we’re ok now tho

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Tee

133. Favourite lyrics right now? She’s a runner she’s a trackstar

134. Can you count to one million? I guess so

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I don’t really lie too much

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed

137. How tall are you? 5”3’

138. Curly or Straight hair? Both

139. Brunette or Blonde? Blonde

140. Summer or Winter? Summer

141. Night or Day? Both

142. Favourite month? June

143. Are you a vegetarian? No

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Once in awhile all three

145. Tea or Coffee? Yea

146. Was today a good day? Just started

147. Mars or Snickers? Neither

148. What’s your favourite quote? Get me lit ima slut fr

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Sure

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “I’m happy to do it either way.”

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justpeachy131 · 5 years

Text

What a day, Hanbinnie!

So I wanted to quickly recap the biggest things that Hanbin’s bday left us, even tho we all know very well. Just to put it nice and orderly somewhere to remember, as it was really a rollercoaster that ended with a bang.

1- The fandom’s worldwide campaign: the fandom was set on making this a special day for Hanbin, one to shower him with all the love and appreciation we know he deserves. So for months, the whole fandom was busy planning and organizing all kinds of things for his day. And we did it! There were tons of cupsleeve events, gatherings, gift and letter collects, ads, fundrising, charity, video greetings projects, multiple hashtags making top trending minutes into the day. The loudness of iKONICs this 22/10 was like nothing else.

(from:@rudequail)

2- His family business: both buldak and 5gam recieved iKONICs in their shops, creating mini events where fans could have a meal or spend time tgt and leave their gifts, letters and loving wishes for Hanbin. Buldak has all the gifts and merch signed by Hanbin for their respective owners to retrieve and 5gam decorated the place with balloons and played iKON’s music through the day, then posted on IG thanking konics for visiting and making it a “view-tiful” day (you know, for the newest perfume based on Hanbin’s likes)

3- Obang calling out to his beloved human: the cutest surprise, Obang posting on his IG fancams and pics of Hanbin with the caption “The person I miss”. We know the pup’s IG is managed by Donghyuk’s family, so you draw your own conclusions. But it was adorable. Later he’d be also joined by Bangdaeng, Junhoe’s puppy. She was a bit late, posting the day after, but it’s ok.

4- The fanmeeting crumbs: iKON was to hold a fanmeeting in Japan during Hanbin’s bday, (shitty move from YG) and we were honestly mentally preparing to get nothing from the boys this time because 1st, they don’t owe it to us to go public about this and 2nd because of YG and the negative press. BUT! They still made a move. Bobby kept silent and let Hanbin’s part roll on its own during Killing Me, Jinhwan (and Bobby) shouted “Happy birthday” during BDAY, which they don’t usually do; and then during Rhythm Ta they asked fans to be louder to be heard “all the way to Korea”. Don’t tell me this was unrelated to Hanbin, the kids know what they’re doing.

(you can search the fancams/audio in tw)

5- Donghyuk’s sweet IG story: the fanmeeting crumbs were enough for us, and we were already spazzing in glee about it when this kid posted an IG story with a single white flower an no captions. Not missing a beat, detetctkonics did their search and found out it was an Arrow Head, Hanbin’s birthday flower. And not only that, but it also could be interpreted as meaning trust. It was yet another hearthwarming message and the fandom was quick to bask in the happiness, and although sadly the story was later deleted for reasons unknown, Donghyuk made his point clear.

6- The Bobby incident: and then we came to the peak of the day, just as it was about to end and hit 00:00 back in the far east. We were already rolling in our happy gushing when Kim Jiwon, Kimbap extraordinaire, half the B of Double B, typo master of the peninsula, not only posted on his IG, but he did so with a fancam of Hanbin and the caption “Happy birthday, I miss you”.

But hold that hat, he had more. He then went to answer to his IG pal itsbizkitt, who had mixed him up with Hanbin, saying “lol dats my beloved brother (...)”

Soon after we had a piling list of people hitting like on this, from Donghyuk and Yunhyeong, to Jinhwan’s and Junhoe’s sisters, Yunhyeong’s cousin, multiple YG ex staff and current staff, even PSY! And then it was even reposted, by Bobby’s friend captioning “mood” and by iKON’s former stylist, saying it took her back to memories of good people (transaltion interpretations in place).

This broke the fandom in the best possible way, and ikonics were lightning fast to flood Bobby’s post with love and thankfulnes and hearts and crying emojis (because, hey, we miss Hanbin too) and flood twitter with our emotional spamming, even pushing Bobby, Donghyuk and BelovedHanbin into the trending tab.

Of course Bobby’s bold move also atracted backlash, as antis, haters, trolls and the likes were quick to demand of him that he delete the post or to question and pass judgment on his actions. But as of this moment, he seemes to have paid no heed to them as it’s all still there.

There were also numerous articles written on this, and although I think it’s a cheap move from the press to try and use this to draw attention and make a big deal of it outside the fandom (just like they did when Junhoe unfollowed YG), we were pleasantly surprised when we found out that the feedback was in big part positive. Many people seem to understand that this is no one’s business to meddle in. Some even called out on the news sites intentions with the articles, especially those that had been so quick to spread slander or misleading info about Hanbin before, and even praised Bobby’s (and in some articles also Donghyuk’s) straighforwardnes.

Now, I do believe this was a statement. We know very well that Bobby could have done this privately by other means and leave it at that, but he chose to go public and post on IG. Why? For iKONICs? For Hanbin? For himself? For the rest of iKON? To encourgae others? To go against YG and those keeping them quiet? To show the GP and press that he didn’t care? I don’t know. We don’t know. Could be any, all or none of those reasons. Only he knows, but the message was sent, recieved and spread.

So yeah, this was a massive win for both iKONICs and iKON themselves. These kids are friendship goals, and we are immensely proud of them all.

7- An update on Hanbin: From the chinese Hanbin fanclub, a fan that went to buldak asked Hanbin’s uncle about him, and the uncle’s answer was that Hanbin is doing better, his mental health is improving and he is eating and resting well. And if this is not the best news we got this day, I don’t know what else to say.

Things might keep rolling as we speak, but Hanbin’s day was succesfully closed with a pretty red bow and on a bright note. I hope he felt all the love that was sent to him on his day, that’s all we meant.

#iKON #Hanbin #Kim Hanbin #B.I #Bobby #Kim Jiwon #Donghyuk #fanb

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yaz-the-spaz · 5 years

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Hey I have a question, nothing to do really with your current convos but I had seen this video about zayn being forced out of the band. I personally don’t believe this because of all the stuff he was going through with his mental health and his ED but the video was saying how naughty boy was paid off and that the zouis fight wasn’t them it was management . They also touched on the subject of zayns contract almost ending and how he would have to pay like (cont)

How he would have to pay a shit ton of money to get out of the band ..which could be total bs idk I have no idea how that works. After googling tho I found like a tweet from naughty boy saying like “zayn who” or something like that. Also how like at the Asian awards he was with Preston which was weird cause Preston works with 1D and zayn was seen with him even after he “wasn’t suppose to”??? I couldn’t really find anything tangible. So I just wanted your opinion on the whole z being forced out

hoooo boyyyy, so this is a complicated question and i would recommend taking a look through my zayn leaving tag after reading this and i’m probably not gonna address every single thing you mentioned here just cause i feel like a lot of it has been talked about ad nauseam and you’ll probably see quite a bit of what i mean when you read through some of the stuff in the tag though i will try to address as much as i can, but i do fully believe that zayn’s departure was not all of his own choosing. emphasis on ‘not all’ because as i always say we’re all speculating here and ofc have no idea of the details of what all actually went down or how it played out but my current standing at the moment, having marinating a lot on the things he’s said and the way he said them over the years in addition to the events surrounding it all (the e.d. and visible weight loss, anxiety and depression ramping up, etc.) and just his character in general, is that if he wasn’t altogether forced out against his will and if it really was his own decision to leave it was because he felt like he had no choice (and therefore was essentially still forced out to some degree imo), whether because he was given some sort of ultimatum or manipulated somehow or felt like it was the only way to save himself and his relationship or what-have-you.

this ofc is gonna get wayyyyyyy long i already know, so putting the rest under a read more…

first off we’ll start with the bit you mentioned about having to pay to get out of the band. if you look at this all from a legal standpoint, there were a ton of contracts that were still in place (marketing/commercials, public appearances, events, the tour/performances, etc.) with the expectation of the participation of the band as a five-person unit, not to mention the contracts up the yin yang they would’ve had with the label and mgmt in general ofc. all of those contracts would have presumably included zayn as a still-standing member of the band at the time, and necessitated his signature/agreement in some shape or form to comply and fulfill whatever obligations those contracts entailed. those don’t just go away overnight. let’s say there were around half a dozen major companies if we’re being modest (i’m sure there was more than that but we’ll just go with that for example’s sake), that they still had existing/standing contracts with to do appearances and endorsement deals or events with. you can’t just call up half a dozen huge companies and be like ‘hey, yeah remember that contract we signed last year where we promised all 5 members of the band would show up to fulfill that obligation you wanted? well, we’re gonna have to cancel, so yeah what do you say we just rip all those up, pretend it never happened, draw up all new contracts for a 4-person band instead, and we’ll call it even?’ hell no. those companies/people are gonna be pissed as hell that they’re not getting what they’re paying for and are gonna want a shit ton of money for nulling/violation of contracts, the paperwork alone would be a mess (a la harry’s joke in the four interviews), not to mention the probable souring of what i’m sure were some long-standing business relationships. all of that is gonna be a huge months-long legal mess, involving lots of lawyers, lots of money, lots of sour feelings all around, lots of legal in-fighting, and back-and-forth paperwork, etc. then you’ve got the contracts zayn had with the label itself (and by proxy, mgmt) which presumably would have included his contractual agreement to finish the tour, be involved in any future albums obligated in their record contract, make appearances, do promo, etc. all of those contracts don’t go away overnight either. so the idea that zayn just woke up one morning, decided to leave, and hopped on a plane and that was that is pretty ludicrous imo esp when you consider all the things a contract can force a person to do even at risk of their mental and physical health (take a look through my contracts tag for more on this and/or look at rebecca ferguson’s situation for example). and even when you look at it from the flip-side, from sony/syco’s pov, when you consider all the things they’ve done just to keep people beholden to their disgusting shitty contracts, it’s absolutely mind-boggling to me how anyone would think they would just let zayn, 1/5 of their biggest money-making enterprise, just up and walk away without suing him up the ass and without any kind of repercussions (just look at kesha, for example). so yes, i fully believe that whether it was fully zayn’s decision to leave or not, he would have had to pay a fuck ton of money and legal fees and go through a fuck ton of shit to get out of all those contracts, and they would not have let him go that easily unless they were getting something they wanted out of it

(and side note: i think his $10 mill drop* in networth compared to the other boys shortly after he left, shows all that pretty clearly too)

on the matter of him still appearing with 1d staff, that’s honestly the biggest proof there is that he was still connected to the band and to syco/sony even after he supposedly “left” and also a big part of what fueled the rumors/theories that he might still be coming back at the time. because, if i remember right, he was still listed officially as like a share-holder or partner or something in 1d’s business ventures for like a year after he left and also a ton of other legal/business-y stuff. if he had really cut all legal and monetary ties (and contracts) with 1d and syco/sony and every person or company associated with them within those first few days after he left as was claimed, WHY was he still publicly listed as a partner in all of 1d’s business enterprises over a year after he had “left”? why was he still employing/working with people on 1dhq’s payroll months after supposedly severing all contracts with them and everyone related to them? if he really had cut all ties and was completely alone and removed from everyone in 1d and 1dhq as he claimed in interviews and even in his book after the fact, then how was it he was still using 1d’s same security guards and staff? you’re telling me the company he just went through this huge public nasty legal and monetary battle with and violated a shit ton of contracts with to get away from is now totally a-okay with just letting him continue to use their employees? nah fam. literally nowhere in the business world is that believable. if i was with some company for five years, and then just up and quit in the middle of a huge project and cost them a shit ton in legal fees and violated all sorts of business contracts and company rules on my way out, they’re sure as hell not just gonna let me walk right back in and borrow one of their employees for my own private use

as for the zouis twitter fight, considering all the heaping evidence we have of 1dhq abusing using their accounts for nefarious reasons, it’s not at all far fetched to me to think that that fight could have fabricated, esp cause the quote on quote “feud” between them (and between zayn and ot4 in general) really only played out through twitter and print media, and personally i just have a hard time believing anything that plays out strictly through those mediums esp so publicly and also a hard time believing that liam and louis’ friendship would have remained so steady and seemingly positive/strong whilst louis publicly shat on liam’s best friend/boyfriend (depending on what you believe) over social media, though i mean it’s all a matter of opinion, and i’m in no way trying to force you to adopt my point of view if you believe their rift was genuine, that’s just my take on it

anyway, all that said, it has just never made sense to me that he would risk all the monetary and legal blowback/repercussions (not to mention the isolation, public ridicule, and and uncertainty/instability of starting all over with his career and contracts and business connections, etc. all of which one would think, if anything, all the stress of which would only make his mental health worse not better) that quitting the band would entail, especially mid-tour. like why not quit during the break they’d just had a couple months before? or wait it out just a couple more months esp knowing (which i’m sure he did by then) that the hiatus was coming up? and all this happens right before they’re about to go to the very countries that he has the biggest fanbase/the biggest connection to (middle east and northern africa - predominantly muslim countries) for the first time in their careers? it all just seems very fishy. and i also just don’t think he’s so callous as to have left them all high and dry like that in the middle of a tour unless there was some degree of manipulation/enforcement involved, but again that’s just me. take all this as you will and take a look through some of the stuff discussed on those tags i linked above and you can make up your own mind, but feel free to come back here if you have more questions or wanna talk further about any of this, and i hope this long rambly ass dissertation of an answer (sorry lol) finds you well :)

#asks #brodferd #zayn #zayn leaving #theories #speculation #good lord this took me like two hours to answer #i really hope this gets at least a couple of notes #but also considering it's hella long i wouldn't blame ppl for not reading it lol #(*at least i'm pretty sure it was around 10 mill or something like that #just pretty sure i recall his networth dropping down to like 30-something mill #while all the other boys stayed around 40)

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lyricdissonance · 6 years

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odds please! for ask thing

1. How do you define your sexuality?i’m bisexual, i also identify as queer3. At what age did you first suspect that you are sexually attracted to other girls?first started realizing i “like like” girls instead of just “like” at 15 I believe?5. Did you have an “aha I like girls” moment or was it more of a gradual realization?gradual realization, i had a whole lot of female actresses and musicians i really admired and then realized i was also attracted to them. then i kinda brushed that aside for a while, thinking that my celeb crushes didn’t count as real crushes, before i also got crushes on girls i knew irl which made me realize i definitely wasn’t straight7. How did you become comfortable with your sexuality?reading posts by bi bloggers on here helped a whole lot, they made me realize that i didn’t have to fit a narrow definition to be “allowed” to call myself bisexual. and as someone who grew up in a conservative environment, i probably wouldn’t have discovered my sexuality when i did without tumblr since i’d never been told before that it was ok to not be straight, and i thank the internet for showing me there are other ways to live life

9. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it?it was by text message to a male friend who was the only other bi person i really knew at the time. he was super supportive and we haven’t talked in a while but i’d love to catch up with him someday11. How out are you?out to friends and two family members, but closeted to most of my family. which means i can be gay on tumblr and twitter but not instagram and facebook. funny how that happens13. Was anyone surprised when you came out or did people seem to already know?a few people have been surprised, but these days when i meet someone new i prefer to casually mention my sexuality rather than do a real “coming out” and i don’t normally get any reaction from that15. How soon after meeting someone do you usually tell them about your sexuality?like the last answer, if i feel like i can trust them i’ll just try to slip it into conversation. i don’t have a timeline for when i do it though, it’s just whenever i feel ok doing it17. Have you ever wished you were completely straight?not so much that as just wishing my sexuality could be not a big deal. i’d love to be out to everyone but i know it would cause problems in a lot of my family relationships19. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other girls?i gave up using percentages a while ago but i’m attracted to men and women about the same amount overall21. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek or stare at a cute girl?only all the time because girls are Too Cute to not do that

23. What is your current relationship status?

single af

25. Do you remember anything about the first time you kissed another girl?i’ve kissed one person and she was nonbinary, we were hanging out in her dorm common room when she went for a kiss on the cheek and i was like “well we might as well do one on the lips too”27. What is your ideal first date?wherever we go i want us to be having fun! i love going out for food or drinks but if we don’t have a connection then it’s just us staring at our plates so there’s always that risk of it being too awkward. i’d love for us to try something new where we can talk and laugh while getting to know each other29. How flirty are you?i’m the certified worst at flirting. i’m trying to be more confident but my idea of flirting right now is staring across the room31 Do you want have children someday?no but i want to volunteer with children someday and do something to help make their lives better33. How often are you asked if you have a boyfriend?not often, i think my family is used to me saying no by now lmao35. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend?nope (see above, single af)37. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?nope39. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you?nope and nope41. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl?oh yes43. Would you ever date a trans woman?absolutely45. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover?

a wendy’s parking lot in upstate new york

somewhere where you can meet people who have a common interest, like a bookstore or a dance class or an lgbt event. but the romantic in me wants to believe that the love of my life could be found anywhere

47. Have you ever cut your hair super short? If not, would you ever want to?have not but would love to! even if i don’t like it i want to be able to say i tried it49. What is your opinion on septum/bull nose piercings?don’t want one for myself, but i think they’re cute51. How muscular are you?not very53. Have you ever been told that you don’t look gay, or that you’re too pretty to be gay?

hasn’t happened to me

55. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often?i may not consider myself very feminine but i do love how skirts and dresses look on me. so like once or twice a week on average?57. How much jewelry do you typically wear?i go without it a lot but i like wearing a piece of statement jewelry when i think an outfit needs it59. How often do you wear a bra?almost always when i go out, but home is a No Bra Zone61. Have you ever worn a suit?nope but i’d try it!63. Do you carry a purse?yep, i find it convenient to have all my stuff with me65. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing?because of my body shape finding men’s clothes that fit well is Hard but i’ve worn men’s shirts on occasion67. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend?

no but i like this idea so cute girls who are my size please hmu

69. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity?my faves include freddie mercury, janelle monae, st. vincent, and lady gaga71. Have you ever watched Will & Grace?nope73. How well do you feel LGBT women are portrayed on television?i’d like for us to survive to the end of the show for one thing. and not be overly sexualized. i’m glad that we’re seeing more positive and happy depictions like on b99 but we could always use more75. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers?tbh i don’t really follow any youtubers77. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed blog or website?i follow a lot of gay blogs on here, too many to choose a favorite. and i really like autostraddle.com79. Have you read any LGBT themed literature? If so, do you have any recommendations?

i really need to start reading more lgbt lit, but shoutout to the misfits by james howe which was the first time i ever encountered gay characters in literature. i think it’s important that that book showed a gay boy who was unashamed about liking feminine things and had friends who supported him. i know my young mind was opened a little after i read it. and now that i’m looking it up again it turns out the author is gay which makes it even better!

81. Boobs or butts?Certified Boob Lover (tm)83. Ellen or Portia?

probs ellen

85. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club?no but there’s a gay club that’s popular w people at my school that is on my list! 87. Do you have any LGBT relatives?my sister, no others that i know of89. How outdoorsy are you?i’m definitely more outdoorsy than i used to be! i’ve learned to enjoy a bit of hiking, kayaking, and exploring but i still don’t do well with heat and bugs lol91. How many rainbow items do you own?one rainbow rubber bracelet, and a couple of bi pride items93. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence?no, as far as i know it was never a big thing at my school? i knew one or two people who did it95. Have you ever attended a PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting?no, i’m kinda curious about what a meeting would be like tho97. Have you ever been part of a softball team?nope99. Do you play any video games?

well i used to be a hardcore nintendogs player back in the day

101. (on a scale of 1-10, how attractive are...) Women who wear glasses?glasses on girls are GR8 - 10/10103. Women who are covered with piercings?kinda neutral on this, i support women getting the piercings they want but "covered with piercings” isn’t really something i look for in a person - 6/10105. Women with short hair?if you have short hair i am guaranteed gay for you - 10/10107. Tall women (i.e. around 1.83 meters/6 feet or taller)?

*wearing a shirt that says I

109. What does equality mean to you?to me it means i’m treated the same as anyone else and i have all the same opportunites111. Do you eat meat at all?yes113. How do you feel about the terms “woman crush” and “girl crush”?i find them harmful to girls trying to figure out their sexuality bc the implication of a “girl crush” is that all women have crushes on women and that it shouldn’t be taken as serious attraction. that being said i think a not-insignificant amount of women who say stuff like that just haven’t realized yet that they are attracted to women (i was one of them whoops) and i hope we can find ways to talk about the “girl crush” problem that leave room for questioning people to talk about their feelings115. How do you feel when people use the word gay to mean things such as stupid, dumb, boring, or idiotic?i hardly ever hear it anymore but i don’t like it117. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use?everyone should be able to use the bathroom that they feel safest and most comfortable in, gender neutral bathrooms need to be everywhere, and any lawmakers who want to get in the way of that can fuck outta here119. Have you ever been called a gay slur?nope121. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain.not like, personally, but the number of people who have said in my presence that they “don’t believe” in bisexuality is Too High123. Americans: How did you feel on June 26, 2015?it was really incredible, i’d been watching as state by state (including my own) had legalized same-sex marriage and suddenly it was all across america. seeing all the love and happiness being poured out on that day was amazing125. Have you ever tried to “pray the gay away”?luckily i’ve never been there, but it breaks my heart to think about people going through that127. What LGBT stereotype do you most disagree with?"bi women are just doing it for male attention” excuse you i’m clearly doing it in the hopes that jenna coleman will fly to the states and elope with me get your facts right129. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality?

take your time! you don’t have to 100% understand your feelings but please let yourself feel what you feel and remember you are not alone. and i want to be here for questioning girls the same way that other people were there for me when i was questioning so if you need someone to talk to i am always here.

#thanks anon!!! <3 #wlwask #Anonymous #ask

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ponyregrets · 7 years

Text

No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way

Kabby social media AU, 3200 words, T

did u know that 1. it is @kane-and-griffin‘s birthday 2. she accidentally went viral for ranting about Friends and 3. once I start thinking about how A Thing (random example: Marcus Kane writing viral Friends tweets) would go down I cannot stop until I just write the thing

anyway happy birthday claire!!

Marcus Kane is, unfortunately, very familiar with the Nice Guy phenomenon.

It's an occupational hazard of writing science fiction, especially in the internet age; all he has to do is look for his most obnoxious fans, and he finds an unfortunately loud contingent of entitled mostly white men who believe that the world owes them women and happiness without any effort on their parts. It's something he tries to combat as much as possible, wherever he can, and he knows it works in some cases. For every reader who's turned against him for being an SJW cuck (whatever that means), he has another who's expressed appreciation for his opening them up to perspectives they hadn't considered and broadened their empathy and understanding.

That's what sci-fi should do, as far as Marcus is concerned. The heart of science fiction is acceptance and unity.

Which is why he tells Bellamy, "I need you to do one of those Twitter threads for me."

"For what?" Bellamy asks, wary. As Marcus's assistant, he seems to think his most important duty is talking Marcus out of interacting with social media. And he may be right.

"Ross Gellar."

It takes him a second. "The guy from Friends?" he finally asks.

"Yes. I want to explain to my followers why he's bad romantic lead and role model."

To his shock, the response is instant. "Okay."

"No arguments? No lecture on how that isn't what Twitter is for?"

"No, fuck Ross," he says. "What do you want to say? I'll make it happen."

Marcus clucks his tongue. "I'll write up a statement."

* Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Last week, while ill, I watched Friends on Netflix for the first time. So, a thread on friendship, romance, Joey Tribiani, and Ross Gellar.

O @o-so-cool reblogged Sometimes my brother's boss is pretty okay.

raven @queenreyesthefirst reblogged brb adding @kanemarcus to non-sucky white dude sci-fi authors and shipping him with @scalzi

Finn Collins @finnishfirst reblogged this is kind of interesting but way too hard on ross. he does a lot of good things! see thread

Bellamy @bradburybell reblogged this is not nearly hard enough on ross

Clarke Griffin @clarkegriffin reblogged Relevant to your interests @ark-abby

"So here's what I think happened," says Bellamy. He's brought Marcus a coffee without being prompted, so whatever it is must be bad.

Marcus takes a sip of the drink. "When?"

"With your Twitter rant."

"Ah. I assume there are a lot of protests from the louder, stupider portion of my fanbase about how I've allowed the liberal fake media destroy my mind and masculinity?"

"Yeah, there are some of those. But, uh--it went way past your fanbase."

"Excuse me?"

"This is your most retweeted post ever. Not even close. It's viral. You've got people fighting you, people telling you it's a revelation, and about a thousand new followers already. In the last day."

He frowns. "Is Friends really still that popular?"

"Apparently." He shrugs. "Clarke says you made Buzzfeed and a couple of the other aggregator sites too. She and Raven have been texting me updates. They think it's hilarious."

"What does that mean?"

"Honestly? I don't fucking know. I told you when you hired me I'm not actually good at this stuff. I tried to warn you."

"You did." He takes another sip of coffee. "So, what do you think happened?"

"My sister retweeted it, and she spends about ninety percent of her time thinking about her social media brand, so she's got a ton of followers. Then Raven picked it up from her, her tech friends got a hold of it, and after that--" He shrugs. "You got out of your niche and into broader Twitter, and I'm not going to be able to find anything useful in your notifications for weeks. It's all Ross/Joey shipping discourse. Clarke's words, not mine," he adds.

"Should I be concerned?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll find out if it actually sells more books. And Clarke thinks we should try to leverage it into more publicity, she's got an idea for that."

Marcus hasn't actually met most of Bellamy's friends, but he references them enough that he knows who they are. Octavia, sister, Raven, ex-girlfriend, Clarke, current girlfriend. He also knows that all of them are more familiar with social media than Bellamy is, so he's not surprised that he consulted them.

Mostly, though, he still can't believe anyone really cares about this.

"An idea to leverage the Friends discourse?"

Bellamy shrugs. "Apparently this fit into an ongoing conversation she's been having with her mother. Abby Griffin? She writes for Ark AV. She did that think-piece about what mainstream science fiction gets wrong about female characters."

"Ah," says Marcus. He remembers the article, which had been harsh but ultimately fair, and an interesting take, once he'd gotten over the initial hurt of being used in a not entirely positive light. "I didn't know that was Clarke's mother."

"Yeah, I figured I'd tell you later. Once I didn't think you were going to call her up and argue with her about how much better you've gotten."

"And now you don't think I will?"

"Honestly, I don't care. I just want to see you guys fight about Friends," he says. "That sounds awesome."

"So, you have no ulterior motives here. Just looking out for my best interests."

"Obviously."

"If she's Clarke's mother, I assume she's local? Or will I be fighting her on a podcast?"

"We were thinking Starbucks on Saturday. Caffeine and lots of witnesses."

Marcus finally lets himself open up Twitter, now that he's had enough coffee. He almost always has some notifications when he looks; he's a public figure with a passionate fanbase, he's used to people trying to talk to him on Twitter. That's why he has a Twitter in the first place. But the number of notifications has never been so high, not in his memory. And, as Bellamy said, it really is a lot of passionate Friends discourse, both for and against his opinions. It's an overwhelming amount of love, hate, and passion. Like discovering an entirely new world.

He thought he understood fandom, but apparently he has a long way to go.

"Starbucks would be fine," he tells Bellamy, a little faintly. "I'd enjoy that."

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus A lot of new followers today. Here are a few notes for you:

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus I am a published science fiction author. Those of you telling me to just write a book instead of many tweets, I have written many books.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus You can find the link to purchase them in my header.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus I have never claimed to be an expert on Friends. This was my first time watching, and these are my impressions based on one viewing.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus My opinion on the Friends canon does not invalidate yours. Yours is as valid as it ever was. But if you feel threatened, examine that.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus My ideas may have merit you're reluctant to fully accept because of your own perceptions of how things should be in relationships.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus If you followed me for more Friends content, please be aware this is an outlier. I usually talk about science fiction.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus On that note, would anyone like to discuss the Hugo Awards?

Masper @gogglesdonothing Replying to @kanemarcus ross/rachel is forever tho

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus and @gogglesdonothing I'll take that as a no.

Jonty @themediumgreen Replying to @kanemarcus and @gogglesdonothing I'm so sorry Mr. Kane just ignore him I want to talk about the Hugos tell me all your favorite winners do you like Chuck Tingle

Jonty @themediumgreen Replying to @gogglesdonothing I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE

Marcus will admit he does not feel broadly prepared to seriously enter the Friends discourse. He is, after all, a neophyte. If there are scholarly works on Friends, he has not read them. If there's any academic discussion of these issues, he is not familiar with it. His knowledge is vague and still forming, but for some people, this show was a huge part of their development. It matters to them on a deep, personal level.

For him, it was a decent use of his time while he was sick and confined to his couch. He had a fever for most of the first season. He's not sure he's prepared to fight anyone about it. Based on his mentions, he has many, many fewer horses in this race than other people. But maybe that's a good thing. Maybe his perspective as an outsider is valuable.

Or maybe he just wants the chance to sit down with Abby Griffin. Because instead of spending the past week either working on his next book or even familiarizing himself with Friends and the criticism surrounding it, he's mostly been researching Abby Griffin herself. He'd done it some after the first article Bellamy sent, curious to see her other work, but he'd been busy with a deadline and hadn't really had much time for that, had barely scratched the surface of this woman.

He doesn't have time for it now either, of course, but it's at least relevant to something in his life. And, as Bellamy and his friends have pointed out, this is at least good publicity. It's not a complete waste of time.

The Abby Griffin stalking might be a waste, but he can't help it. She's interesting. The pop-culture writing is, apparently, a side job, something she never intended to get seriously involved in. The website had been her husband's, and when he passed away, Abby and Clarke had taken over its upkeep, and Abby had started producing content when she had time. Given her full-time job is as the director of internal medicine at the hospital, he's frankly amazed she has as much time for content as she does.

And it's good content. She and Clarke have a weekly column where they discuss a movie they went to see together, and the female characters in science fiction piece was apparently part of a series. Her taste is good and her opinions are interesting, and by the time he's meeting her, he has one big question, and one only.

They get through introductions and are settled in at the table before he finally lets it out. "Honestly, I don't understand how you can like Ross."

She lets out a surprised laugh. "Excuse me?"

"Bellamy said he was looking forward to us fighting over Friends, but I have trouble believing you disagree with my opinion of Ross. I don't know what we'd be fighting about."

She smiles into her mug. He'd known she was beautiful from the picture he found on the hospital website, but it's different to see in person, and more awkward. Bellamy and Clarke are hanging out at their own table, pretending not to eavesdrop; it's not an ideal time to be caught staring. "I don't know what he told you, but I didn't disagree. It was an impressive rant. Well reasoned and accurate. I was more interested in discussing why you posted it and the reactions you got. I saw it wasn't popular among some of your readers."

"To say the least."

"One of the things I've been curious about since getting involved in online fandom is what counts as acceptable ways to interact, especially for those of us over thirty or so. I saw a lot of people asking why a heterosexual man in his late forties would care this much about Friends at all. As if that was the problem."

"Judging from the angry responses, plenty of heterosexual men are very invested in Friends. Although I'm not sure how old they are," he grants.

"Age is the biggest issue, in my experience. You'd been participating in an acceptable way, as a creator, but once you show yourself to be invested in Friends shipping--"

"I stepped into the wrong part of fandom."

"That's my thesis, yes."

He considers. "Am I on the record?"

"I'm not a reporter, Marcus," she says, sounding amused. "I'm not trying to trick you into saying something I can use against you. But if you'd like to officially be off the record, we can say that you are."

"My hope with that post was that it would make some of my readers rethink their attitudes towards women and romance. The number of responses I got to Valena's story in Bright Sky Morning that boiled down to her being wrong for not returning Pavel's feelings even though he'd been so devoted to her was--staggering. And depressing."

"Did your female readers appreciate it?"

"They did. Apparently Jin was a much more appealing partner."

Abby smiles. "I certainly thought so."

It's not his first time meeting a fan, of course, and she might not even be a fan, in the sense they're talking about. But she's read his work and has opinions on it, and that's always a little bit flattering. Especially when they align with his. "I'm glad. I was hoping he would be." He clears his throat. "So, you'd like to talk to me as a forty-eight-year-old man who publicly had opinions on shipping."

"And to get your thoughts on Monica and Chandler," she says, all innocence. "If you don't mind."

He can't help smiling himself. "Not at all. I'm all yours."

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Expanded my horizons this weekend with the High School Musical trilogy. A curious cultural phenomenon.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus I appreciated that Troy and Gabriela didn't go to the same college, but still stayed in the same general area.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus I still don't think the couple has much of a future, but in an unrealistic movie, I appreciated that nod to practicality.

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus Very disappointed about the last-minute attempt to cement Ryan's heterosexuality. Let children have LGBT role models.

Murphy @firstnameredacted Replying to @kanemarcus If you're seriously going to be talking about Disney movies from now on I'm unfollowing you, I don't give a shit about this

Marcus Kane @kanemarcus Replying to @kanemarcus and @firstnameredacted Please do.

"Look," says Bellamy, two months after the first Friends rant, "I'm not going to pretend I'm good with crushes, but it would be a lot easier to just ask Abby if she wants to get dinner off the record instead of coming up with new weird shit to have opinions about on Twitter every week."

"I assume the timing of this isn't a coincidence," Marcus says. He was just getting his coat on to go meet her.

"You've already got a standing coffee date. Turn it into a real date. I'm begging you."

"You don't enjoy my opinions on the High School Musical series?"

"I actually do, I'm just getting tired of blocking people. Also, I don't know if you're aware, but dating is awesome. You should try it."

"I appreciate your concern. You don't think it would be weird for you if your boss was dating your girlfriend's mother?"

"No weirder than whatever's actually happening right now. And don't even try to tell me you're not asking her out because you're worried about how it would affect me."

It does sound absurd, when he puts it like that. "No. That wasn't a major factor."

Bellamy rolls his eyes. "Just ask if she wants to come check out the Descendants franchise with you next weekend. Definitely a solid pickup line. Chicks dig it."

"The what?"

"It's like the spiritual successor to High School Musical. I'll send you a link. You should know this stuff if you're really going in on this."

"I should give you a raise."

"That too. Say hi to Abby for me."

It's not entirely accurate to say that he thinks about what Bellamy said as he walks over to his weekly meeting with Abby. Every time he walks to her favorite coffee shop near the hospital, he's thinking these same kinds of thoughts, so it's not really Bellamy's fault. He enjoys Abby's company company and would be happy to see more of her. He already knew that. But it's been a long time since he navigated anything like this.

If only Friends had prepared him for this kind of romance.

"Marcus," says Abby, giving him a smile when he sits down across from her. As usual, she's surrounded by papers, and he sometimes doubts that she'd even have time for a relationship. She does keep herself busy. "I enjoyed your meditations on High School Musical."

"I'm glad to hear it. Bellamy says it gave me a net loss of followers, but not as much of one as he thinks I deserved."

"I'm not surprised." She considers him. "I didn't mean for our friendship to hurt your career."

"I don't think it is. Plenty of people just read my books and never even find out I'm on Twitter. It's not a large percentage of sales. You're blaming yourself for the High School Musical tweets?" he adds, curious. They are her fault, broadly speaking, but he wasn't sure she knew.

"If you don't keep coming up with hot takes, we don't have much to talk about."

He laughs. "I hope we'd come up with something."

"I hope so too."

The conversation lags, but it's not a bad lag. It feels like she's given him an opening, and it's his job to figure out how to take advantage of it.

The easiest way would be to simply propose a dinner date, as Bellamy suggested. But he's never been good at simple.

"You know, you never told me your favorite relationship on Friends."

"I didn't?"

"No, we usually talk about my opinions."

She levels her gaze at him, considering. "Do you know what I think when I watch Friends now?"

"No."

"They're all so young. And don't get me wrong, I met my husband when we were young, and the two of us were happy, but--sometimes it worries me how much emphasis we put on meeting people early in life. The younger you are, the more romantic it is. And that's one kind of romance, but it's not everything. It makes me want to shake all these kids and tell them that life doesn't end at thirty, or forty, or fifty. You'll keep on meeting new people, and you can still be happy."

He lets himself reach for her hand, and relief floods him when she lets him take it, even turns it over so she can squeeze his fingers. "So your favorite relationship on Friends is the one Rachel has when she's forty-five and Ross is dead?" he teases.

"I hope you're not comparing my husband to Ross."

He has to laugh. "No. I would never."

Abby's smile is warm, and it's suddenly so easy to not be nervous at all. "Good. Because the rest of that was right."

"Good," he agrees. "I was hoping you'd say that."

Sky Crew Reviews @kaneandgriffin New list from @kanemarcus: top 10 YA sci-fi books for adults! Up next, top 10 adult sci-fi books for teens. Age is nothing but a number.

Murphy @firstnameredacted Replying to @kaneandgriffin I will pay you to stop

Bellamy @bradburybell Replying to @kaneandgriffin and @firstnameredacted when are you actually going to unfollow like you keep saying you will? asking for a friend

Murphy @firstnameredacted Replying to @kaneandgriffin, @firstnameredacted, and @bradburybell I keep hoping I'm going to come back and he'll be normal again

SJW Cuck @kanemarcus Replying to @kaneandgriffin, @firstnameredacted, and @bradburybell Don't hold your breath.

43 notes · View notes

clerithraven · 7 years

Text

This is the first and the last time I will talk about this, so please hear me out.

A couple of days ago, a clerith shipper went Anonymous and submitted this ask to a blog that primarily caters to the c/loti ship (though the owner has said it is open to multi-shipping).

Here is what the CA anon said:

Hello! I'm a Clerith fan and I just have a short story to tell. ( I'm afraid of opening this up on the CA forum/twitter/tumblr because I might get bashed D: ) I've been a CA fan ever since I first played FF7, and I've actually been seeing a lot of Tifa hate in the CA fandom. I for one liked Tifa, and Zack for that matter (because a lot of CA fans hate him also), but it feels like if I want to get along with my fellow CA shippers, I have to hate those two. I feel alone in the fandom :(

astoryofalove has already made her statement about this, and I would like to add mine.

It is deeply saddening that a clerith would feel unsafe in turning to fellow cleriths about an issue like this. So I would like to address the statements this CA anon has said in defense of the whole clerith community.

1) I'm afraid of opening this up on the CA forum/twitter/tumblr because I might get bashed D:

As far as I know, we, the ones who are currently active, do not go after our fellow clerith shippers for an opinion that may differ from ours. We make it a point to be open to everything, no matter our personal preferences. I do not know which community this anon has been involved in to give him/her an idea like this. But I, for one, do not stand for this kind of treatment. I know I’ve already made a statement regarding my dislike of Tifa and Zack (for reasons I may or may not have already stated but will not put in here), but that doesn’t mean I will be mean toward someone who does just because. And a lot of other CA shippers share the same sentiment.

While we are at this subject, for the clerith shippers who are currently reading this, I implore you:

Talk to us. Open up. Share your opinions, even if it’s different. Don’t be afraid to speak out against something you consider to be hurtful for you that the fandom is involved in.

astoryofalove and I, among others, will surely be there to listen to you and support you. And if either of us goes too far with what we say, please don’t be afraid to tell us about it. Inform us of any clerith who misbehaves in any way (harassing or insulting others, being mean or hateful, etc), and we will deal with it as needed. Point us in the right direction, and we’ll be sure to do something about it.

We are not claiming leadership of the fandom. Nothing of the sort. It is only that we would like to be able to actually do something to help stop the negativity from the clerith side as we are active on the clerith fandom.

We do not want the clerith community to be viewed in a negative light. That is not what we stand for. As a fandom that represents Cloud and Aerith’s love, we do not condone any unwarranted negativity toward anyone, whatever the fandom they are in.

2) I for one liked Tifa, and Zack for that matter (because a lot of CA fans hate him also), but it feels like if I want to get along with my fellow CA shippers, I have to hate those two. I feel alone in the fandom :(

I said it in the reply I gave to his/her ask on my main blog, and I’ll say it again.

I can most definitely assure you that you are not alone in this regard. Which community gave you this notion?

I admit I don’t like Zack and Tifa, and I’m vocal about that over on twitter. I’m not the only one, as well. But there are CA shippers on twitter who like them both that join in on discussions, and they don’t suffer any negative treatment from me or any other CA shipper who don’t like Zack or Tifa. In fact, the whole contrast makes for a great discussion between CA shippers. So, do understand why we found that particular claim unbelievable as we are the ones who are active on the clerith fandom.

And let me add: the clerith shippers who do like Tifa and Zack do have tumblr accounts as well.

Also, the CA anon mentioned the CxA Forums. They have moderators who monitor the forums, and any sort of bashing is relegated to a specific bashing section so that it will not be prominent in any other. The only way someone would see hate there is if that person went into the bashing section itself.

Since we’re already on the topic:

What counts as “hate” for Tifa and Zack? What do fans deem as insulting to these characters?

I honestly can’t remember calling them names, or saying nasty things about them just for the sake of spreading hate for them. I may have been aggressive in some of my posts that can be viewed as anti, but it was never for the sake of just hating on them.

What I also remember is that I’ve been vocal of the reasons why I don’t like them, adding in known facts to support my own reasons for my personal dislike of the two. It was not done to garner hate toward them, but merely to express my own opinion. My fellow cleriths do not have to agree with everything I say, nor am I asking that of them. In fact, I would welcome their honest feedback or any discussion they would like to raise. Clerith fans have already done that on twitter.

With that said, if you do come across any of my posts, or any other cleriths’ as well that you deem is full of meaningless hate and animosity, bring it to my attention and I will try to address the issue as much as I can, with astoryofalove’s help as well.

And I’m sorry, but that CA anon followed-up and submitted another ask to the same blog that said this:

Hi! I'm the Clerith fan who confessed about the Tifa/Zack hate in the fandom. Thank you for being nice to me! I thought of telling my rants to someone who doesn't hate Tifa and Zack, that's why I wrote to you. I'm sorry you're getting hate because of me >< I can prove that I'm a true blue Clerith fan though, I just don't know how without getting bashed by these defensive Cleriths, so if you know any means please do tell! And I'm glad to have come across your blog! I see you aren't biased at all

This is after that blog commented on astoryofalove’s post containing her reaction to the CA anon’s confession.

My issues about it are these parts:

1) I'm sorry you're getting hate because of me ><

Which is just untrue. I checked. Aside from my comment when I reblogged it with my response to the CA anon, Cali’s response, and a fellow clerith’s response to Cali’s post, all of which are in no way directing hate towards the blog’s owner, the rest are c/loti and clerith fans who agree with the owner and had only nice things to say for him/her and the CA anon.

So I have to ask, where did this anon get this idea? Because I most definitely did not see any proof of it.

2) I can prove that I'm a true blue Clerith fan though, I just don't know how without getting bashed by these defensive Cleriths, so if you know any means please do tell!

Have we bashed this anon since he/she has made the confession? Any name-calling or nasty comments thrown his/her way? None. I admit I have doubted his/her credibility as a clerith fan, but I did say why: Because what he/she said he/she has experienced was not what I have seen in the active clerith community. Of course, this is only on the platforms that I am actively participating in. But as the sites that the CA anon has listed (CxA Forums/twitter/tumblr) are all places I am active in (tho I now rarely visit the CxA Forums due to network problems), I was highly doubtful of his/her claim.

And excuse us for being defensive. Years of hate and animosity towards us has made it so, especially for those of us who has been in this fandom almost all our lives. If that is taken against us, we can do nothing about that except to say that we have our own reasons for being so.

Moreover, why ask a c/loti blog how to prove one is a clerith? The answer is quite simple: Go off anon and send me, or anyone else, a message owning up to being this CA anon. You will not get any backlash, I assure you. Your approach to this whole issue would have made a world of difference.

And I would also like to take this opportunity to defend astoryofalove against the blog owner’s response to Cali’s post:

This is not about you and you shouldn’t make it about you. This is not about your history or your essays, but this is about the anon’s experience and about the people who got fed up by hatred towards Tifa and Zack that caused them to avoid the fandom. Nothing in my post argues against Clerith, criticizes Aerith or mocks any Clerith’s interpretation of canon.

astoryofalove had asked that the clerith tag be removed from the post containing the CA anon’s confession, and went on to give her reason for not believing in this confession which was based on her own experience.

astoryofalove has been the target of hate for years because she is the most vocal among us. And yes, her defenses may have been raised in response to what the owner of the c/loti blog said to the CA anon about ALL the essays for clerith being hateful toward Tifa or the relationship between Cloud and Tifa as the reason the owner turned away from the clerith ship. But do understand that it was because she was vocal about her dislike for Zack and Tifa, thus was of the belief that it was her whom the owner was pertaining to. After all, no one else posts essays for clerith anymore these days aside from astoryofalove, and lately me.

I also do not understand why the owner’s response said this:

Nothing in my post argues against Clerith, criticizes Aerith or mocks any Clerith’s interpretation of canon.

Because astoryofalove’s response never mentioned anything about it, nor did she even allude to it being a reason for her to ask the removal of the clerith tag and changing it in that post. The request was not done because it argued against clerith, criticized Aerith, or mocked any Clerith interpretation of canon. The request was done because the CA anon’s confession was unfounded in our eyes, and thus paints the clerith community in a negative light with no proof, which we do not need in the clerith tag.

Moving on to other matters...

astoryofalove had asked that this post be removed from the clerith tag. And I have asked the same of the owner of the blog, in private. The tag has since been removed, but the owner told me it was not done because we requested it so, but for the owner’s own reasons.

I have to admit, I was curious as to what these reasons were. And what I read further saddened me. And I want to address the owner’s reasons here:

I took out the tag because the message of my post is 1] automatically invalidated due to being published in a C/loti blog 2] Because Cleriths who agreed on my post are in risk of bearing wave of retaliation.

1) the message of my post is 1] automatically invalidated due to being published in a C/loti blog

It was not “automatically invalidated” because it was published in a c/loti blog. Cleriths who read it from Cali’s post found it “ridiculous” or perhaps unbelievable simply because it was. This is due to the fact that, like I’ve said, there are CA shippers who like Tifa and Zack, maybe even more than those who dislike them. We are not in every site, every social media platform, so we may not be aware of the Tifa or Zack hate on these places, but in the sites where our presence is active or known, we do not see this unless it is of our own doing-which, I repeat, is only our own opinion and not done to foster hate among the fandom or single out those whose opinions differ from ours. And it’s not that often that we voice our dislike anyway.

2) Because Cleriths who agreed on my post are in risk of bearing wave of retaliation

I checked. And no, not one of those who agreed to the owner’s post with the CA anon’s confession was given any indication or a hint of getting attacked or garnering any retaliation of any kind. And even after my and astoryofalove’s posts, nothing of the sort has happened. So I have to ask, why did this person make this claim? What was his/her basis of saying so? Where was his/her proof? I may never know the answer, but I will say this:

We speak up only when provoked. We do not start any sort of drama, and those who are proven to have been doing so will be dealt with as long as they are brought to our attention. That is how seriously we treat cases like this.

In addition, once the whole post regarding the reason why the clerith tag was removed from the original post is read, readers would see this:

What was disappointing is that there are real points that were ignored:

Massive hate on Zack and Tifa causing shippers to move away

Not treating Cloud and Aerith as individuals (even in the Zerith pair

And that Cleriths are diverse and can disagree with each other, and that they are can also be critical of their own fandom

The entire post is taken emotionally and stripped of its value of discussion. It has already reached an audience who expressed agreement, but it’s pointless to keep it there.

1) The point about “Massive hate on Zack and Tifa causing shippers to move away” was ignored

We did not ignore this. We just cannot believe it. I have yet to see this “massive hate on Zack and Tifa” that is implied to be widespread among the clerith community. Like I’ve said, astoryofalove and I have expressed our dislike of the two, and we’ve seen cleriths agree and disagree with us, all in a healthy environment with a positive discussion. No bashing, no criticism, no harassment has ever resulted from it.

We also addressed the CA anon’s concerns about feeling alone in the fandom. I would have wanted the chance to try and make it so he/she would feel secure in being part of the fandom—if only he/she had come to me. And I believe other clerith shippers would share the same sentiment. The CA anon had only needed to take her concern to us, and we would have gladly listened, no matter the difference in our preferences.

2) The point about “Not treating Cloud and Aerith as individuals” was ignored

This was never brought up by that CA anon. I don’t understand how this even came to be a point. Still, I will say something about it.

Please do not say that we do not treat Cloud and Aerith as individuals, as separate entities that can exist without the other. That is not what we do. Sure, most of our posts are us celebrating how Cloud and Aerith’s appearances in the OG and other games are somehow deeply connected to them being a pair, but that does not mean that we are stripping them of their individuality. It is just that we tend to focus on them as a pair most of the time as shippers. If cleriths want to discuss their individuality, one only needs to start the discussion, and the rest will surely follow.

Excuse us if we’re too excited about the clerith fluff we get that we do not talk about their individual characters as often, and instead fangirl over their portrayal as a pair. We’re called shippers for a reason. Doesn’t mean that we never talk about them as individual characters.

3) The point about “And that Cleriths are diverse and can disagree with each other, and that they are can also be critical of their own fandom” was ignored

I have already said that we are aware of cleriths who have differing opinions, and that contrast makes for a good discussion. This is something we are already aware of. And we also welcome any criticism that is directed at us by fellow shippers, as long as they approach us in a good way. We will not turn them away or rebuke them. In fact, I’d daresay that we’d welcome it instead.

4) The entire post is taken emotionally and stripped of its value of discussion. It has already reached an audience who expressed agreement, but it’s pointless to keep it there.

We did not strip it of its value of discussion. We did not discourage cleriths from speaking about voicing their experiences that relate to the original post about the CA anon’s confession. You, blog-owner, even said it already. It has “reached an audience who expressed their agreement”, and a discussion was actually starting. What came of that discussion, or what did not come of it, was not in any way our responsibility or doing.

In fact, astoryofalove and I have made our own posts with our own responses, trying to address the issue with fellow cleriths. And considering that astoryofalove has a number of Clerith followers, those who had anything to say had already done so, whether by simply liking the post of making a comment. It is not our fault that no one else wanted to chime in, for their own reasons.

Having said all of that... For my fellow clerith shippers:

If my or astoryofalove’s posts have too much hate on them for Tifa or Zack in the rare times we do give them our attention, you can always unfollow and block us. We will not hold it against you. It just means you do not want our content on your feed, and that’s fine with us.

We’re here to speak and advocate for Clerith, for the love between Cloud and Aerith. If you do see hate on our posts, frankly, most of it is really directed toward the rabids who invade our tag with their brand of negativity, and so we retaliate.

Cleriths have stood by and have been silent for years. But that is no longer the case. As new fans fall in love with the love story of Cloud and Aerith, and old fans are brought back into the fold, you may see more of us. But I assure you, it will not be about hating on Zack and Tifa.

We are “Cleriths”, not “Zack and Tifa haters”. Just because a number of us dislike these two doesn’t mean the whole fandom does. So try not to generalize, the same way we distinguish the rabids from the good ones.

Thank you for reading this very long post. Happy shipping to all of you!

#pro-clerith #clerith community #a response #ff7 #personal opinion

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creampuff-earper · 7 years

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Kate McKinnon Fanfiction. Foldingchairs and the city of dreams. Re-edited

Hey guys, I’ve decided to post my fanfic about Kate McKinnon on here.You can find it on AO3 as well: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8275334/chapters/18957797

Summary: This fanfiction tells the story of a fan, just like any of us, meeting Kate and everything that happens after that.

It takes off at SNL, later on Nino will be there and Kate is the most amazing person in the world. What could one want more?

Rated M from chapter 5

Chapter 5

I wake up startled, my mouth full of blonde hair and a warm arm tightly wrapped around my waist. Confused by my surrounding for a second I sit up trying to figure out where the hell I am. I hear a muffled groan coming from the person next to me and suddenly it hits me. I am in Kate McKinnons bed... naked, I might add.

I let myself fall back in the pillow and look to the side, Kate cracks one eye open to look at me and a smile appears on her face. "Morning" she croaks out, her voice hoarse from sleeping. Despite being a notorious hater of the morning, I smile back at her, still quite not sure if this is a dream or reality. "Good morning" I crack out as well, reaching out and brushing a few strands of hair from her face, just to check if this is really real. Her skin is warm underneath my fingertips as she leans in to them, closing her eyes again, contently.

"Did you sleep well?" She asks while I reach to the back of her neck, slowly caressing the small hairs sticking out there. I get an approving groan and smile again. I could get used to this.

"A bit short, but I can't complain." "Ha- you better not" she grins and snuggles closer. "And you?" "Hmmm apart from hearing you talk for like 30 minutes in your sleep, it was fine" "Hmm yeh, maybe should've told you about that before you decided to let me stay in your bed." "I never decided that... you didn't leave me any choice after being KO within 3 seconds after you..., well you know" "After I what?" I suggestively say and wrap my arms around her tightly, stroking her back in lazy circles. "You know what you did" "Really, I have no idea... please enlighten me" I say and smirk trying to pry it out of her "Mykah, shut up, I'm not gonna smother your ego." "Pffft you're no fun" I complain and pinch her in the side

She squeals and tries to get out from my grip. Succeeding, she rolls out of my arms and jumps out of bed, standing there in her full naked glory, smiling at me. My mouth goes dry as I run my eyes over her body, memories of last night flooding back. "Like what you see?!" She grins and cocks her hip to the side. "Hmmm, but I'll definitely like it better if you come back to bed, let me look closer" I beg and look at her hopefully. "Ha. I bet you do, but I gotta use the bathroom and get something to drink cause my mouth feels like I ate a cardboard box" "Who needs a toilet and water when you've got this lying in your bed?" I try and gesture at myself, making a complete fool out of myself but loving the sound of her laugh to much to let this opportunity slide. "That ego of yours is going to be too big for this apartment if you keep that up woman." She grins and turns around giving me a really good view of her beautiful ass. Before entering the bathroom she looks over her shoulder one last time and asks if I'd like something to drink as well. "A glass of water would be great, thanks!" I reply and nuzzle back in the bed, pulling the comforter up to my chin.

Somehow between tearing each others clothes off and falling asleep I managed to locate a charger and hook up my phone, that is currently buzzing very loudly. Rolling over to pick it up I see several messages from my mom and Alice.

Replying to the both of them that I'm okay and that Im having a very good time, I text Alice that I'll explain everything later, when she asks how last night went.

When I press sent the blond goddess I just spend the night with returns with two glasses of water and a wicked smile. "Here you go" she pushes the glass of water in my hand and slides back in the bed next to me. "Nino was very mad that we locked him out of the room yesterday. He wouldn't even look at me" she pouts and looks genuinely sad. "I'm sorry bout that" I snort "but unless you wanted me to sneeze, you know, down there, I think you made the right decision." She looks at me with an annoyed expression and slaps my thigh. "Shut up" I laugh and take a sip of my water, relaxing back into the pillows.

For the first time in my life I had felt so comfortable with myself, and my body I might add, with a person I just met. I had never done this before, dive in bed with someone after the first "date" if it even was that. I still wasn't sure if she had intended for this to happen when she messaged me two days ago.

In my train of thoughts I didn't even notice Kate looking at me with a puzzled expression. I look to my side to catch her gaze and smile. "You okay?" She asks and presses a small kiss to my cheek. "Yeah, yeah, just thinking of how I ended up here, in this very cosy bed, chilling in my birthday suit next to this very beautiful, also naked woman. I say and return the favor of pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'm glad you did tho." She smiles and snuggles her head in the crook of my neck. "I had a really good time last night" "Me too, thanks"

The second I close my eyes and relax my phone buzzes again. Groaning and turning so Kate can keep lying against me I grab my phone from the nightstand and unlock it. "You are really popular aren't you?" Kate teases diverting my attention back to her. "Yeh, it's all my twitter followers cheering for me after I tweeted about boning you last night" Her head snaps up to me and she scoffs "you did what?!" I grin at her outburst and shake my head "when did I have the time to tweet that out? Between getting you drunk and naked I don't recall a minute or two to where I could have done that“ I laugh and the shocked expression melts of her face. Mistaking it for a victory I sneak my hand around her waist and slowly let my fingers run over her hip but before they can travel any further she slaps them away. "You haven't deserved that yet" she growls and nestles her head back, looking smug as hell. "Kateeee" I plead, trying to sneak my hand right back but catching another slap when they get too close to their estimated arrival. "You check your phone first and then I'll maybe let you try again" she states and I groan in disapproval. When my eyes finally land upon the screen my heart sinks and my stomach turns. Right there in my mentions is the reminder of my flight back home this evening. "Shit" "Huh what?" "No nothing" I say and let the phone drop to the mattress. Staring at the ceiling I am already dreading the moment I have to leave this bed, and more importantly, Kate. How am I supposed to say goodbye to this amazing woman, who I shared an amazing night with, who stole my heart even more then she did before I met her..., how? I sigh and l decide to push the disappointment away and make the most of the time that we do have left together. "Hey what got you all sad and sighing?" Kate asks and I shift so I'm facing her. "It's fine…” I try to sound neutral but failing miserably. Kate is now looking at me puzzled but I don’t want to break the news to her just yet. not now. Taking a deep breath I plaster a big smile of my face and continue with what I started just before checking my phone. “It’s nothing, but now let me get back to that promise you just made me" I grin and start rolling us over so I'm now on top of her. She smiles and wraps her hands around my neck. "Not quite convinced yet, tho" she teases "Oh, you need me to remind you why the neighbors were stomping on the ceiling last night again?" I husk in her ear, diverting my lips to her neck after I feel her shudder" "Please do..." I look up to her and grin "that was easy" "Oh shut up and do your work!" She growls, her hips already rolling into mine. "Yes sir!" I reply with a grin and crash my lips on hers, remembering how much I wish I could kiss her forever. While we kiss I shove my right thigh between her legs and moan at the wetness that has already formed down there. "Jeesus Kate" I groan and start grinding down on her, trying to find some friction for myself as well.

Diverting my lips to her neck I start leaving a trail of kisses from her earlobe and down, till I reach her breasts. Looking up for some conformation that she's really fine with this she slightly nods her head and I bend down to take one of her nipples in my mouth and suck on it. I give her other breast attention by palming it with my hand, never getting enough of feeling those soft, round breasts underneath my fingertips. Kate is now moaning profusely and it only encourages me to please her more. Switching my actions I let the tip of my tongue lick over her other nipple, making it as hard as possible before softly nipping at it with my teeth. Her back arches of the bed and it's such a turn on to watch Kate loose control like that.

Moving down from her breasts I leave a trail of wet kisses and licks down her toned stomach, loving the way her muscles flutter against my lips. Landing on her hipbone I softly suck on it gaining another strangled moan and I decide it's time to head for the jackpot. I had spend almost a half hour between her legs yesterday, working her up and then slowing down again, not getting enough of her taste and smell and how she would react to various moves. Crawling down her body, I take both of her thighs in my hand and spread her out before me, the smell of her arousal hitting my nostrils. Kate looks to me trough hooded eyes and the most beautiful pink blush spread on her cheeks, completely surrendering to me. I lay down between her legs and lining up my nose with her pubic bone. I softly blow over her before running my tongue over her wet folds. Kate is moaning uncontrollably by now and I can't help moan right into her. Her hands disappear into my hair as I work on her. After a while of tongue and fingers I feel she is getting closer. My hand reaches up to her breast and I pinch one of her nipples, stroking her clit a few more times and her moans still, as I learned last night, that being my cue. I push my fingers in as far as they go and curl them up and suck on her clit on the same time. After a few seconds she releases her breath and her legs clench around me, moaning out my name.

She pushes my head away from her center and clamps up, and almost ends up in a fetal position pulling me up to her. I wipe my mouth on the towel next to bed and pull the comforter up and over us. I press a small kiss to her temple and curl myself around her still shuddering body. "Hmpffffff" Kate moans. "That's what she said" I joke. “Shuttt uppp" Kate groans but pulls my arm around her none the less. "A thank you is al I need" I say and grin against her skin "I hate you" she growls again "Still didn't hear it" "Thank you, asshole" she reluctantly says. "Pffft unthankful creature" I say and pretend to be offended, rolling to the other side of the bed, crossing my arms over my chest. "Hmpffff Mykah I'm still way to foggy to do this" she groans and rolls over halfway, draping her hand on my hip, tugging me back to her. "I just gave you your 4th orgasm within the timespan of 7 hours and I have to practically drag a thank you out of you... that hurts my feelings!" I say, still pretending to be hurt by her. "Oh get over yourself already!" She spits, but lines her body against my back. "Well, I guess you could make it up to me." "Oh is that so?!" She suggests and runs her hand to the front of my body. "Hmmm" I humm trying to ignore the heat that she's igniting inside of me by stroking my the undersides of my boobs. "Scrambled or cooked?" "Huh what?!" I ask totally not getting what she just said. "Breakfast, do you want your eggs scrambled or cooked?" "That's not what I had in mind when I said you could make it up to me...." "It's not??? Your rumbling stomach is telling me otherwise... and to be honest mine is craving for some food too..." She says and plants a soft kiss on my shoulder Not liking where this was going at all I turn over to look at her and glance at her with a disappointed expression. "Come on, you'll survive" she teases and starts to leave the bed. "Noooooooooo, you can't just leave me here like that!" I practically scream and grab her hand pulling her back on top of me. "Mykah I need food, although I'm small I need something to keep me up and running!" She pleads and my face falls. She ducks down and with her lips to my ear she whispers "I'll make it up to you in the shower". She licks my earlobe and then bounces of the bed, throwing a discarded shirt over her head and pulling on a clean pair of panties. I throw my arm over my eyes, groaning in frustration over the way she's got me all riled up and then leaving me high and dry. "And what am I supposed to wear?" I yell after her, not having any clean clothes to wear anymore. "I left you something on my chair!" She yells back.

I guess I really wasn't skipping breakfast today...

#Kate McKinnon #Kate #McKinnon #Fanfiction #archive of our own #AO3 #Jillian Holtzmann #Ghostbusters #SNL #Saturday Night live #folding chairs and the city of dreams #chapter 5

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horsebitesfence · 4 years

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One year Sober – Sophie Helf interview

How is New York ? We know from Twitter and your guest spot on the Death Panel Podcast that you spent a year working toward moving back there, and you made it! How has it been going so far?

– It’s been wonderful. The past year was incredibly difficult – going through surgeries, relearning to walk – but I knew I wanted to move here so did whatever I could to heal up quickly. So far I’m quite happy here! It’s nice to be able to see all my friends, go where I want, explore different opportunities. Simple things feel so good – having my own room, living with nice people, ‘hustling’ for work (ha!). Not a fan of the weather though.

We really love your piece for the Outline, where you talk about inspo porn, being a little worm and how you love your legs. We I hear you’re getting new prosthetics – how do they compare, and might they lower the chance of another infection? That must have made the move that much harder (and more inspirational).

–– Thank you! My new prosthetics will actually be vacuum-powered – every time I take a step the ends of my legs sort of get ‘sucked’ into the prosthetic, so to speak. Everything is custom made, from the liners to the sockets, so it’ll be a lot harder for my legs to chafe. The infection was miserable but has healed up pretty well so far. Sometimes the leg still hurts but not nearly as badly as it did before.

They sound cool and we hope it goes on healing really well.

You’ve been tweeting about using the subway since you’ve been back there. From here it seems like New York’s public transport infrastructure is pretty run down – kind of hostile for users in general and especially for disabled users. Has that been your experience?

–– The infrastructure can be pretty shit, depending on which station you’re at. The one near my place is just a set of stairs leading underground that I have to carefully waddle down (though I’m getting better at that). Most people here stick to the ‘keep right’ rule, which is nice, but there have been occasions when I’ve had to dodge someone and almost fallen down. At the larger stations with various train lines there are elevators and escalators, but if you’re at a smaller one it’s probably just stairs. Good exercise, I suppose, but for people with mobility issues it’s incredibly unfriendly.

Sort it out NYC. You’ve lived in London, SF and New York; how do the three cities compare in terms of transport, access, attitudes?

–– The Bay Area actually has a fantastic subway system for disabled people. Every MUNI and BART station has an elevator and the trains can easily accommodate someone in a wheelchair. London stations were squeaky clean and most stations had elevators, even at the farther-out ones; I took it for granted at the time, but looking back it was very well put together. New York definitely has the most unfriendly transport system, but from what I’ve heard there have been rallies to make it more accessible, which I’m hoping leads to something better.

Yeah, London’s public transport infrastructure’s pretty good, but there are just so many people, and not everyone is good at keeping left or moving carefully. It doesn’t help that the UK is one of the few countries where you’re supposed to pass on the left side, whereas London is such a global city that many people naturally tend toward the right.

It’s better not to travel at rush hour if you can help it, but that’s not always possible, and it’s also pretty restrictive. London Transport now do a ‘please offer me a seat’ badge, but we also need ones that say ‘don’t push’, ‘give me space’, ‘keep your distance’ . Or maybe just ‘keep the fuck away from me.’ And more ‘keep left’ signs – it makes such a big difference.

–– London transport gets so incredibly crowded, more than in New York or San Francisco, I think – I definitely understand why you’d avoid rush hour! I generally try not to go places during rush hour; seeing as I’ve mostly been working from home, it’s been easy to avoid it. I’m hoping to get a 9-to-5 job, though, and am not sure how I’ll deal with the crush. Stay posted for developments!

Yes! Best of luck! And best of health insurance.

One of the many things to love about your Twitter is the way you tweet on MH stuff, and meds, and coffee, and coffee on meds. You also tweet about sobriety. What’s it like being at NY parties sober?

–– I’ve definitely had my mental health issues in the past, which led me to getting sober. It’s the best thing I’ve done for myself, I think; my mental health, though not perfect, is doing better without the guilt I used to get when I’d wake up after a messy night out. I don’t really mind people drinking around me (or doing coke in some cases – oof) and people have been really respectful of my decision not to participate. I feel really lucky that hardly anyone’s pressed me on why I got sober; if someone does, I just say ‘I felt like it’ and don’t go into anything deeper because I don’t really owe anyone an explanation.

Yes to respectfulness, and to not owing. And congratulations on a year sober.

[One Horse Bite discloses: I spent years feeling shame about MH stuff, being in denial and trying to ‘act normal’, which in hindsight has had distorting life-effects. I held out against doing psych meds for a really long time, even though they’re almost free, thanks to the NHS, what’s left of it – maybe that’s why they don’t get pushed on people here so hard. After my accident, I finally gave myself permission to try meds, maybe because I felt like it gave me a concrete reason to need them, one that carries less stigma than mental illness. And then I still wasn’t ok! Both due to the accident and because I was already not-ok, pre-accident. The accident was the last straw really; like I had no spare capacity to handle it. Invisible Strings / @M_Kelter, who tweets on autism and depression, suggests that in place of ‘comorbidity’, we might use the term ‘meanwhile’. Meanwhile, I had to begin to address the MH stuff I’d already been carrying, and admit to myself I’d been carrying it all that time, as well as with the accident. Meds were helpful with that, even tho it took a bit trial and error to find the right ones; for most of last year I was on what seemed to help at first, and then made me increasingly and dangerously disinhibited. There were – incidents, including but not limited to shouting ‘walk left’ at people on the underground. Still no ragrets – sort of; once I found the right meds, or the more-right ones, anyway, I kind of wished I’d started on them years ago, though it’s important to stress that nothing has helped so much as finally having stable housing for the first time in my adult life, post-accident. Also to note that my being in a state of ‘invisible homelessness’ at the time of the accident was a key causal factor in the accident itself. Meanwhile –. ]

Sophie, you went to art school, but studied design rather than fine art, and are now a coder; so while you’re art-world networked, hopefully you’re a bit less subject to the horrid vicissitudes of all that. How did you get into coding?

–– I was at Central St Martins from 2012 to 2015, a couple of years after they moved into that awful Granary Building. Very strange being there; they insisted that the great corridor in the centre was a space for collaborating, but you had to get express permission from tutors or higher-ups to put things there, and – I hated this – your tap-card could only get you into your studio. So if you were a design student and wanted to go into the fine art studios, you’d have to borrow a fine art student’s card to get in. It really kept all the different programmes separate from each other and discouraged collaboration in the end.

–– I got into coding after coming back to California from CSM without a Bay Area design/art network, without any idea how to get a job. I needed a portfolio site to present my work on but hated all the templated ones (Cargo Collective etc.), so decided to learn a bit of HTML and CSS to build one myself. To my surprise, I really enjoyed it, so started learning JavaScript as well. Choosing whether to professionally pursue coding instead of design was a huge decision to make, but eventually I decided ‘fuck it’, successfully applied to and attended a coding bootcamp.

Now I do front-end development, which focuses on the look and feel of a website and how a user interacts with it. It’s been interesting navigating the different splits and rivulets of ‘the coding world’, so to speak; there’s ‘the tech community’, which I do feel separate from as I tend to view coding just as something I do and not an entire lifestyle. Code can intersect with art and design in tons of different ways and I do like Twitter as a tool to keep up with some of the people I admire.

Can we be really prurient and ask what you meant when you tweeted about missing mid-2000s SF ?

–– I like this question! I guess it was a tweet that was sort of mourning what San Francisco used to be like back before it was stuffed and crawling with tech people. I was in high school in the mid-2000’s and specifically remember San Francisco as – scuzzier, I guess; still kind of eerie and loose and a little more dangerous. I was a little shit back then and spent a lot of time at a park called Dolores Park, which used to be crusty as hell and filled with naked hula-hooping people and boozy high schoolers passing around bad weed (including me and my friends). Now it’s squeaky clean and gets stuffed with frat kids on the weekends. I’ll admit that I do love to complain about current SF a little too much. Cities do change, of course, but it makes me sad that SF is so incredibly unaffordable and losing much of the weird, wonky character it used to be known for. It does still constantly smell like weed and piss though, which is oddly comforting.

Is that what made you so keen to get out of there, aside from the glut of other coders, and the fact that it’s your home town – or was it more about getting to NY ?

–– Honestly I think you really hit the nail on the head re: tech people and hometown. It’s a tiny city and I felt like I’d explored every corner, done everything I wanted to there, and got a little tired of bumping into parents of kids I went to high school with while I was buying a Diet Coke at the grocery store. And yes, I really wanted to go to New York – a lot of my friends live here, and it’s a whole new city to get to know and explore. I’ve been here for a couple of months and feel like I’ve seen a tiny droplet of what’s out there, which I like. And, truthfully, it’s cheaper both transport-wise and rent-wise, which is important while I’m freelancing while looking for a job, and will continue to be nice once I’m salaried – more to save for retirement, health insurance and occasional fun things. I’ve wanted to live here since middle school so it’s nice to, you know, be here. I like it a lot.

Sophie, thank you! Enjoy New York.

Thank you for interviewing, this was very fun!

#sophie helf #disability #zine

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chanelmoon4 · 7 years

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june 27 2017

mms update on ppl stuff I guess. I rather not have my journals be about ppl but hey you can't avoid them. Like I said before hopefully ill have time to refer back to my past and talk about what has happen then because having children, being married, having a divorce and just changing my views about life is a lot and view important to me. Never really though I was a person tell all that happen to me. So grateful for it even though I wish it could have all been different

I had such a huge journal entry just stilling on my laptop then it had to freeze on me so ill try to cap up some things that have happen. It’s just not quite the same real calling memories after they have happened. When its fresh its the best. Then can tamper you emotions currently and make you type it different. Regardless it paints some kind of picture.

Lets start with Jake because I just know I need him gone.. Still wish I could be fiends with him but ya you just gotta learn to stay away from people that ultimately bring you down. You can't change ppl and you should try to. He likes where he's at too much and I'm not going to try and open his mind to know things. I've already done what I can with him. But I guess that why you meet half the ppl you do you. You somehow help each other in big or small ways and be on you way when it’s all said and done. Sad, but the more it happens to you the more you just let it happen and appreciate what is. I kept thinking we would naturally break off because he just always wanted to hang at his house sharing a room with his brother. But then his brother moved out and then it just became easier that way. It was cool but just still didn't help are stagnant communication. Half the time I just listen to the only things he knows and likes to talk about his fabricating work, car stuff and his x girlfriends being still about stuff not letting him see his sons. I like that he talks a lot actually but it was just so limited and so much opened up anger in him its just overwhelming. I can't blame him though both of the girls he has babies with complete crazies just not letting him see then just because there relationship went south. He works, he well doesn't drink anymore. Anyways those girls don't have room to talk because they have partied as well. Anyways lets get to the recent stiff. I hung out with him one night ya and this night we smoked. (Haven’t been doing anything like that but the opportunity arrived. my view about greens is wish washy I can live without it but its nice to have every blue moon. for now I'm going to keep it that way and I don't fee bad about it because its not controlling my life.) Then we got into this weird conversation about his x girlfriend with his kid Camille( uhhhhhhh and this is how me and Jake know each other from the past. actually embarrassing to say if I had to explain this to some one :( but she was one of my one and my best friend for a long time. there can be a whole book about her in my life but ill say one thing about her the try and make this shorter she is crazy. she. is. crazy! had a lot of boyfriends and kind what got me on a bad path. also went crazy on the end and had sex with my husband......... I didn't know tell about six months ago.... man I should do a journal entry about this but crap... k so ya anywise we broke off are friend ship around when link was one and haven't or will never talk to her sense) k! So ya Jake stated talking bout her and just problems and its awe all normal but then started saying g maybe she's only being crazy mean cause she still likes him and wants him to suffer rescue it dint work out and she has to live seeing him because they have a kid together now. Soooooo ya it got way weird and eventually I told him to stop and then rest of the night was weird. We have like a little text fight about it. Having him claim that it was about his son and that he was angry about that and all that. He somewhere inside would take that crazy girl back. Just the other day I was talking to ppl at work about relationships where this girl was talking about how her x would start talking bout other girls inform of her and how there were great or complicated. If your speaking about other ppl when your in a relationship then you mind isn't in the right spot and your setting yourself up to cheat. It’s been about 5 days we haven't even texted. Today he hit me up saying he was sorry and it was all about his some and trying to find a reason for her craziness. And I understand I would do the same in his position he is in just trying to figure out what’s going on in that crazy girls mind. I told him I need more space basically and left it as that. There’s more to all this but I'm summing up the best I can and without fixing all this grammar just to comfort myself about the five year old language I'm spitting out. (Quickly spitting out) I want space so we will see how long this last. He’s got anger problems so I know what he said wasn't meaningful. He wants to get back to kissing and such. Way over that. I could see me hanging out with him a time or to in the future before school starts but I really just need him to be gone. I hope I can be strong enough.

Ok mmm next is Jordan. Noting with him ha. Just hung out another time exchanged book had some good talk and that was it. He’s moving to st George and saw him at the pool once with a chick.. So that was kind of weird. He said he had a lesbian friend so that could have been her. Regardless I still didn't have enough feelings to wanna keep up with him and he the same. Let just hope I get my books back some time this fall

k. Damn it I'm going to try and be super honest with this section even though I don’t want to be now cause I gave some stupid hint on twitter that I was going got put shit on twitter so now I'm constantly scared that he did find this tumbler and could just crush my sole. He could expose this to ppl. He could think I'm a freak. I just don't know and now its really kinda sucks. But oh well. Regardless you can get away from ppl really easily and never see then again. I hardly ever see him anyway ( yay ready to make mistakes) I'm not really sure where to start sense my normal entry gets deleted. But he went to Scotland. I think he had a snap post or two that were suggestive. (Could have been to anyone) one I think was hi going on in his jeep alone with a song from Taylor swift saying “all you had to do was stay and a snap f sunset. Idk whey I think something with a sunset. I think that one I'm overanalyzing. (you gotta remember to take things into account but not also over do it. synchronicity really is everywhere but sometimes ppl accidently say things not trying to be offensive but then people end up taking it that way, that’s a really bad destructive habit!... so usually I just try and look for synchronicity but only the good ones. if it can come off as bad I just try to disregard it for the most part. idk... sometimes I do take things that he's trying to tell me he doesn't like me and signs that he doesn't but with him its different clue I think he knows the game or whatever bull crap and is just trying to tell me in some way. who know idk idk but anyways I love looking of the good signs in life and try not to get offensive less I feel its clear enough.. idk ) then shortly after sends a snap saying he's like on a lonely road by himself or something. I decided to respond and to invite him to this movie night thing with ppl from the pool and just said “don't make it too lonely.” then asked him to come to wonder women the next night. Surprisingly he said he could and that was good but a shocker. Just because I'm too chicken to ask him on that date date thing. I'm calling that night are date thing so it can be over with? :S soooooo weeewh there’s a lot I could say about the wonder women movies that was like super crazy synchronized with I guess a thingy we have? Like so much! It was awesome but god there’s something fucked up with me it was like hitting me in the face but yet I was not satisfied...!!! And if its still not making my bell completely ring I'm sure its not at all for him :///(I think I'm just angry I can just get alone time with I'm and don't know what’s going on) it was still way cool to see him. He tried bringing up this stuff about energy everywhere. 1 her want to talk more about it with me. 2 he's teasing me.idk. I wish I would have been more social with him but I have such a hard time singling jarred out for a long time with other people around us. It would just make it obvious and we were around work people. He coming back to work this fall and ya I just don't need people thinking I really like him. ( ah I hats saying that I like him. I like what I see and what might not completely mesh with him I still find so adorable..... I really really hope he thinks the same for me and not just a weird girl he can't avoid and doesn't want to be rude too. Sometimes I wish he would be just so I can really know. should be clear enough tho.. he's not talking to me lol oh well) so it was kinda stupid to finally invite him to hang out and have it with people from work. At one point before we walked into the theater are eyes met form a distant and we both and the super anxious look on are face. It was great! He openly said “sorry texting my family in a group text” that was kinda random and kinda a sign that he's not seeing anyone but who knows. Right as we walked into the theater I have know idea fucking why but I said under my breath not even thinking about anything in particular and he was near me “man I'm no good at this” and he did say something back it was strange and I feet like Emily heard. He said something like “don't worry about or neither am I” gaaaaaaahhh! Fucking shisdkfjsldkfj ha idk so trying to fast forward. We sat next to eachother and I forgot how ackward it is to sit next to people or a ton of people for that matter. Made me so anxious especially because I love snuggling in a theater and more used to that if I ever go. He moved his hand a lot but not in one of those stupid obvious positions waiting to be held. I wanted to um feel his energy more sting next to him more but there were too many distractions to decipher. I had my hands crossed really like the whole time. Again we were next to everyone from work I just couldn’t let them find out! It was so great seeing so many things unfold in that movies that correlated to him and I though! There seemed to be a lot but I really am not going to go through the whole move about it. I'm just going to watch it again when it comes out on DVD. The movies ended we all ackwardly walked out I was tired as shit at the time cause it was past 12. Talked bout some stuff about it and all went home.

(I need more paragraphs. so here’s one lol.) I've never had so much synchronicity show up in a crush like this ever I just like gotta like just like idk know and just give what I can idk idk.mad but I've been so so salty lately like really I was hitting a low then. Work had made me way more aggressive then I've ever been I really hate it. I don't want to be an angry aggressive person or overly dominate. But I'm afraid my surroundings have made me so ://////// I'm trying not to think about that to much and just think that its good for me to practice this and that I've been excelling at it well. The things are all of it will change soon enough with school this fall. I know ill be focus on other things and it will just keep changed. Especially if I quit my job this fall or winter. So back to captain it up with Jared. I've been so less centered again and so I think I had this small/ big peak of scarification with that movie that quickly faded right after it. Usually if anything happens between us I'm like back to liking him call over again. This time I just got just more frustrated. Probably because it was all another wonderful fantasy and not something that happened in real life that I could say we both experienced. I. Just. Want. To make things happen between us so I can have clarity that we are going to be friends or try for something more or just clear cut no so I can get the hell was form the pool and focus a little better. I waaaant that. Fucking shit! This person just fucked my brain up from stuff from the past or something and it’s just so easy to get sucked back into it. So I just need to get closer to this man or remove myself completely. Trying not to get angry about it. But ya so far he's just being a floater boy when I need answers. But the more I push the more I know going to make the answer no. It probably is a no anyways. I'm sure I'm annoying. I used to be cooler trust me. I swear ppl around u influence you so much and when I was reading more not around crazies at the pool. idk.... oh and really think I shouldn't have done this because I'm sure it passed him off.... if he even checks. I deleted all my tweets and hoping to plan to not tweet any more. or for a really really long time. I'm level headed I am. This just weird thing going on its just hard to communicate things and just make it look like crazy move. Hope I didn't fuck it up. Also were being stupid and sent music snaps that made it look like I didn't give a crap. I'm so mean!!!!! Seriously been so salty. ugh :(

Still get on tinder occasionally. I get likes of really cute looking guys on there to match up with frankly. Lots of them are just too far away or I just get scared and do not want to take the work to get to know new ppl. Plus I just HATE texting people long distance or just having got to know you bull crap on it. I rather have people come into my life. I just end up taking to people a few times then ignore them tell it stops. Oh well. I sorta like it that way anyway but I'm still looking and that’s good I guess. I just focus on one person at a time. that just kinda my thing its hard to get attached to several men and i do not like doing that. thats not what my life is all about attracting as many as i can like that!

gosh this was a lot and still not a lot i didn't ever get to say about what I've been learning lately in my books. not to mention i had a logged mediation finally. and holly shit i got soon much crap bit up in me its crazy. really you get keep up with that crap because you pick up negative crap from everywhere and hold in in you forever! i deeply feel if i can just get back to the real me things will work out better know matter what it is. I really need to find myself and be even more stable if anything in my life is going to go my way or if I'm going to be able to give myself to Jared/or any man. I really am quite a stable person, always have been. So it’s really frustrating for me to be stuck into something like this. Wish he could see that or that I could show him things that have helped me... but that’s only if you believe in that stuff. Or let you mind wander there enough to see truths in it. Knowledge truly is power... and takes a lot of responsibility to keep it...

Another things ill quickly say cause I've been spending way too much time on this one and I going over to my sisters tonight, 5 http has help me with my speech problem and is also a mood enhancer. I think I want stop taking it though because it’s like fix that seems like permanently but I'm more aggressive from it and almost more anxious... mother f. I probably should stop experimenting with things cause sometimes it really does backfire and isn't helpful but you know what if you don't try you will never know and there are so many things that I was scared to try or ppl would think is pointless/weird that ended up being awesome! The 5 http hasn't screwed with me that much but I learned form it and know it’s not a thing to take when your brain is already back to normal. Its thing to take if you actually are having depression had a car accident, addiction problems things like that. I took it and it seems to fix my problem but now its not helpful cause I back to normal and it’s overloading my brain. Also I found that one way to clean your entry is to take a bath with sea salt and baking soda and ya i can't pretty much say it seem like its cleans out you aura layers. But you must go in the sun afterwards. Cause it will also deplete you. I did it this morning and really everything was just so clear.... but it was bad to go to work right after. I freake’n sucked everything up :((that like my biggest problem somehow I absorbs everything weather its good or bad. for me seems like I just need to say clear of things. man I'm just hurting myself so much. holding onto a guy that doesn't even have strong feelings for me touring myself staying in all these toxic environments waiting on a silly dream that I don't know if I want anymore or will want when it all comes down to it. ..... and for some reason I just keep doing it. sheesh it must be for some reason. just a little longer and this thing lingering behind me will be all gone or unraveled.

Holly crap this one is huge. Ill spell check it for now and re read it later. lol it will be interesting to see all the stagnant sentences I've created.

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